Salam sister. Ive been here before, not to your extreme, but the lack of intimacy and initiation to do anything romantic or sexual drained me. Same with all the decision making. My advice may be met with controversy, but you NEED to put your foot down and give him an ultimatum. He either grows up and fulfills your rights or you're leaving. I know you said he's a kind man etc but no one kind does this to their own spouse. Unfortunately you have to threaten with divorce, and maybe separate again. He's acting completely childish and not like a husband should and it's NOT normal. I'm sorry you're taking on the mental load. No one should feel like they're co-parents. Best of luck