Well I don’t know part of me thinks that and that I would love a child but he’s 34 and doesn’t want a kid anymore. We’re not on good terms so it would be an accident and not a welcome baby on his end. I could just do it and have him pay child support b it I’m not gonna hold his life hostage even though it’s his responsibility. If we talked about having one which he wanted me to get pregnant a couple times but I’m not sure he was serious besides just a fetish thing. He said he’d be closer to his family again if we had a baby. Also if it wasn’t that we were on and off literally every week. He’s mentally unstable and I can barely trust him not to throw a baby out the window and I have anxiety. I know I could be a good mother. We also make shit money. Both make only around $600 a week. The only good thing is he has a house he inherit r but it’s not necessarily safe or roomy for a baby and then a child unless we invest thousands in fixing the downstairs which would have to be my money because I’m the only one with a bigger savings account but that took years to do and I’m not going to invest it in him while he invests nothing in me and I’m not a fool where I’d do that and his name is on the house only because it is his dead parents house. Only bright side is there’s no mortgage payment so the situation is pretty much too fucked up for a child rn even at our ages. Me 30 and him 34 so it’s just better I don’t and for me personally I never wanted to be a single mother. Sometimes I think about it. I think even though he was a piece of shit he’s the only man I ever loved at a time and was attracted enough to be ok with being stuck with him and commitments for maybe the rest of my life as well as have his baby or children but we can’t get along for long. It’s definitely a shitty karmic situation for me and abusive. 