hi, 
my bf and i have been together for 5 years, until this weekend i thought we had a really good relationship and sex life. we have struggled with some consent stuff in the past but most of it has been resolved. anyways, he told me he watches femdom porn because im not controlling enough, or i wasnt because apparently he hasnt watched porn in months (we moved and have roommates now so thats probably why). the thing is, i have literally tried so fucking hard this entire relationship to be enough for him. when we first got together he told me nothing and no one will ever be good enough for him, and i’m not an exception. im still trying to figure out if this was him telling me the kind of person he is or just some angsty teenage bullshit (we met when he was 18-19) i have been dominated and dominate for him, and i dont like it. i like when i can touch him and vice versa (he wants to be tied up / tie me up). i dont like feeling like im in control of anyone. and given our prior issues with consent i cant relax enough to enjoy it when im being tied up. ive told him i dont watch porn anymore because its disrespectful to us, but he doesnt share this belief, and to each their own ig. idk im just am so tired of not being good enough for him. i dont want to break up, we own a house together and have animals together, i want the love i give to be reciprocate and i want to feel respected by him. has anyone ever been through something like this? is this just not going to work no matter what i do? we dont have much money for therapy, but he doesn’t really believe in it anyways. idk what to do… tia. 