Ask your partner to use gender neutral terms. "BJ" = "go down on", "hard" = "turned on"/"wet", "jizz" = "come" etc.

My partner did this for me and it felt amazing.

This is more of a communication is key situation. Listen to your body and feelings and be prepared to ask your partner to stop when they tell you something's off. 

D's can be caressed and touched in other ways than violently stroking. Treating them as if they were vaginas seems to do a lot in my humble T4T experience.

A partner that would be in places like this asking this question too is better than a partner that is not ... 

Don't have sex with people that aren't willing to treat you in the way you should be treated.

Don't have sex with people that see you as a man.