I am a Kirsten. CURS-ten. Not Kiersten. Not Kristin. Not Kristine. I have been called all of those names. I worked with someone for nearly 4 years and she still called me Kiersten. I stopped correcting her after 2 years. 

Kirsten is kind of a mouthful. It is harsh and percussive sounding. Almost uniquely unmelodious. It sounds like a curse to the magnitude of 10. 

There's no nickname for it. Some people don't like being repeatedly corrected for calling you Kristin or Kiersten. Some people, after not bothering to learn how your name is pronounced for weeks or months, get all huffy when you correct them, and laugh and say things like WELL YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN as if you are just so demanding and rude for wanting to be called your correct name.

A lifetime of correcting misspellings and mispronunciations. My last name is difficult, too, so it's just a mess every time I get official paperwork back. One time at work I ordered a nameplate and 3 times either one or both of my names was misspelled. I eventually stuck a post-it note over the misspelled part. Every time you meet someone and introduce yourself, you debate whether it's worth it to correct them. 

I feel really defensive over my name, but I also don't like it. It means, "anointed one", which basically means "a Christian" and, having resisted my gently-Catholic upbringing, I'm just...not a Christian, lol. 

And I actually appreciate my parents for putting thought into giving me a unique name. (They claim that they weren't thinking about the name's meaning, they just 'liked the way it sounded', which...well, okay.) I was grateful to NOT be a Kristin or an Ashley or an Emma or a Brittany or an Amanda. Those are fine names. I just didn't want to be one of many. 

For many years I fantasized about different names for myself. Beautiful, lyrical names. Aurora and Rose were among my favorite. Stuff like that. I would try them on and be sort of aware that they didn't fit. 

I've put a lot of thought into the importance of names over the years. Been involved with activities that include a stage persona or a nom de guerre. There have been times when either of those names felt more comfortable and true to the one I was given. 

I have since started using a name that never occurred to me when I was a teen wishing my parents had named me Charlotte or Olivia or Sonia. I won't share what it is because I don't want to be too identifiable to internet strangers and even a casual creep could find out way too much about me from what's here. But it's a simpler name with a lot of different meanings that I can resonate with and find meaningful. And it may not have the delicate, flowery sound of the names I fantasized about, but it fits me better than those names ever could. 

I'm using it mostly casually. My family still calls me Kirsten, and I'm happy for them to. But my new name is on my resume and how I'll be introducing myself going forward. I may never fully change it legally - the name Kirsten is a thorny possession that I have a very full and complicated past with, and even though it's been hard to hold at times, it's mine. I don't know if I can ever fully let it go. It was my first gift. I still call myself Kirsten in my head, and I'm hoping that that will move to New Name gradually. 

TL;DR: names are complicated. Think carefully before you grant one.