conversations.from: human
conversations.value: What could be a title for a book about Upper, East, Side with the genre: Biographies & Memoirs, Arts & Literature?
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: A title for this book could be 'Life on the Ramona Coaster'
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Provide the first three paragraphs for this book.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: Life on the Ramona Coaster
  ALONG WITH THE REST of America, I first heard of The Real Housewives in 2006 when Bravo debuted its reality show about the glamorous lives of a group of affluent women in Southern California. Little did I know then that one year later, Bravo would create an equally successful spinoff show set in Manhattan and I would be cast as one of the five original Real Housewives of New York City. When we started filming the show I was happily married, I had a successful seven-figure business, and I was the mother of a beautiful twelve-year-old daughter. I never could have anticipated that I was about to enter the most exciting and dramatic chapter of my life. The first episode aired in March of 2008 and, over the course of that first season, Bethenny Frankel, Jill Zarin, LuAnn de Lesepps, Alex McCord and I would embark on a journey that would forever change all of our lives.
  Starring in a reality television show is a truly humbling experience. We open our lives to the scrutiny of the cameras, the media, and millions of viewers who alternately judge, adore, revile, idolize, and ridicule us—sometimes all in the course of one episode. What I never expected when I signed on to do the show, however, was that it would give me the unique opportunity to examine my life from a completely new perspective. Through watching my behavior and my interactions with the other women on the show, I became acutely aware that my past was influencing my present in ways that I am still just beginning to understand. My "unfiltered" personality was shaped by a dysfunctional childhood during which my father verbally and sometimes even physically abused my mother. For most of my life, I kept the truth of my unhappy past a secret. Like many people who have been in abusive situations, I was embarrassed and ashamed. I thought that if I told my friends and colleagues what I had gone through as a child they would judge me, disassociate themselves from me, or think I was inferior to them. Most importantly, I did not want anyone to think of me as a victim... because I'm not.
  The first time I spoke publicly about my childhood was during the taping of the Season 2 Reunion episode. In response to a viewer question, I revealed for the first time that I grew up in a family where my mother was verbally abused by my father on regular basis. It was liberating to let go of this secret and I decided to open up even more the following season. Over lunch at Fig and Olive, a chic Mediterranean restaurant on the Upper East Side, I told my close friend, Joni, and in turn the 1.75 million viewers who tuned in to watch that episode, what it was like to grow up in a fractured household. My childhood memories were marked by constant fighting, screaming, and crying. For most of my life I hated my father. I hated him for hurting my mother and for making her cry. I hated him for not making me feel loved. I hated him for not providing me with a normal childhood. Although I was never physically abused, the events I witnessed in my childhood scarred me emotionally and destroyed my relationship with my father. They also shaped the woman I was to become and tainted my perception of relationships.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Provide five more paragraphs.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: Once we were all together on the yacht, I was so over-the-top happy and excited. We were all getting along chatting and naturally we began talking about our feelings for Jill and how her behavior had been affecting us. This seemed to immediately make Kelly uncomfortable because she kept saying she didn't want to talk about feelings. I think Kelly has a hard time conversing in intimate situations, especially when the subject of emotions comes up. The way I see it, if you have no feelings and you cannot talk about them or be in touch with them, then you might as well be a robot. While we were on the yacht, I remember Kelly was on the phone with Jill three or four times a day. She seemed to be getting increasingly agitated, and I think some of that may have been Jill stirring her up.
  For the next part of our trip we stayed at Presidio del Mar, a majestic villa in St. John. I'm not easily impressed, but I have to say this villa was beyond anything I had ever visited or seen. The cameras did not even begin to do it justice. The following morning, Kelly seemed to have calmed down and that day we spent on the beach with her was amazing. She prepared a great lunch and treated us to a fantastic photo shoot. She was at ease in her own element and was a pleasure to be with. But at dinner that night something in her snapped. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she seemed to be in the midst of a major meltdown. I don't know what caused it. Maybe she was just out of her comfort zone, but we all wondered if she had forgotten to take her medication or if perhaps she had mixed some kind of medication with too much alcohol. We were drinking tequila on the beach that day and she doesn't really drink. Tequila makes me nutty, so maybe it had a strange affect on her. I personally felt the meltdown was twenty times worse than what they aired on television. We were so concerned that we called Jill that night. I told her, "Kelly needs you. She's going to be on a plane. You should meet her in New York." Even Bethenny got on the phone and said, "Jill, this is not about the show; we're worried about Kelly." But, instead of meeting her friend and helping her at the airport, Jill decided to show up in at the villa the next day. I guess she thought she was going to swoop in and have some kind of reconciliation with Bethenny, but it was too little too late.
  Bethenny and I have come a long way. But it hasn't always been easy for us. She has this way of making her digs through her sense of humor, so you almost don't realize that she's insulting you. That's her schtick and she's excellent at it. She comes across like a comedienne, but her words can be quite biting. Part of our confrontation at the Season 2 Reunion had to do with my response to a biting comment she made when I was giving her dating advice. I was hurt by what she said, so in my blog I made the dig 'why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free?' in reference to her having previously lived with boyfriends outside of marriage. She got really pissed off about that. I remember she called me up and she actually scared the crap out of me, and then I felt threatened when she and Jill went after me at the Reunion. She seemed like a cat ready to scratch my eyes out. It takes a lot to shake me up, but Bethenny's a person that you just don't cross. She can dish it out but she can't take it.
  We're in a much different place now. I think it's because my walls are down and I'm more communicative. The Ramona I am today might have said, "Come on, Bethenny, don't take this so seriously. I'm sorry you're offended," but back then I panicked and retreated. I literally went under my covers like when I was a child and my parents would fight. Now, I handle things differently. I've learned to communicate better. Early into the filming of Season 7, Bethenny and I got into a huge fight. But I realized very quickly, what are we fighting about? This is ridiculous. The old Ramona would've said, Okay, we had a fight. I'm angry at her, she's angry at me. So be it. The issue would have festered and we might have damaged our friendship for good. Being the person I am now, I decided to go see her to try and reconcile right away. Of course, she got even angrier but I kept calm and approached her again and, in the end, we made up. Sometimes people are just angry. Not at you, but about their situation. In the past, I never saw things that way. I would take things way too personally, but I've evolved.
  Recently LuAnn said to me, "Ramona, you're so warm and fuzzy now." Who would ever have thought LuAnn would call me warm and fuzzy? I think that going through what I went through with my marriage falling apart has made me a different person. When you're emotionally hurt like that, when you're betrayed by your husband, it makes you more vulnerable. You can retreat or you can learn from it. It was a learning experience. Not a good one, but life is learning.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Swap the first and the last sentence.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: Not a good one, but life is learning. We were all getting along chatting and naturally we began talking about our feelings for Jill and how her behavior had been affecting us. This seemed to immediately make Kelly uncomfortable because she kept saying she didn't want to talk about feelings. I think Kelly has a hard time conversing in intimate situations, especially when the subject of emotions comes up. The way I see it, if you have no feelings and you cannot talk about them or be in touch with them, then you might as well be a robot. While we were on the yacht, I remember Kelly was on the phone with Jill three or four times a day. She seemed to be getting increasingly agitated, and I think some of that may have been Jill stirring her up.
  For the next part of our trip we stayed at Presidio del Mar, a majestic villa in St. John. I'm not easily impressed, but I have to say this villa was beyond anything I had ever visited or seen. The cameras did not even begin to do it justice. The following morning, Kelly seemed to have calmed down and that day we spent on the beach with her was amazing. She prepared a great lunch and treated us to a fantastic photo shoot. She was at ease in her own element and was a pleasure to be with. But at dinner that night something in her snapped. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she seemed to be in the midst of a major meltdown. I don't know what caused it. Maybe she was just out of her comfort zone, but we all wondered if she had forgotten to take her medication or if perhaps she had mixed some kind of medication with too much alcohol. We were drinking tequila on the beach that day and she doesn't really drink. Tequila makes me nutty, so maybe it had a strange affect on her. I personally felt the meltdown was twenty times worse than what they aired on television. We were so concerned that we called Jill that night. I told her, "Kelly needs you. She's going to be on a plane. You should meet her in New York." Even Bethenny got on the phone and said, "Jill, this is not about the show; we're worried about Kelly." But, instead of meeting her friend and helping her at the airport, Jill decided to show up in at the villa the next day. I guess she thought she was going to swoop in and have some kind of reconciliation with Bethenny, but it was too little too late.
  Bethenny and I have come a long way. But it hasn't always been easy for us. She has this way of making her digs through her sense of humor, so you almost don't realize that she's insulting you. That's her schtick and she's excellent at it. She comes across like a comedienne, but her words can be quite biting. Part of our confrontation at the Season 2 Reunion had to do with my response to a biting comment she made when I was giving her dating advice. I was hurt by what she said, so in my blog I made the dig 'why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free?' in reference to her having previously lived with boyfriends outside of marriage. She got really pissed off about that. I remember she called me up and she actually scared the crap out of me, and then I felt threatened when she and Jill went after me at the Reunion. She seemed like a cat ready to scratch my eyes out. It takes a lot to shake me up, but Bethenny's a person that you just don't cross. She can dish it out but she can't take it.
  We're in a much different place now. I think it's because my walls are down and I'm more communicative. The Ramona I am today might have said, "Come on, Bethenny, don't take this so seriously. I'm sorry you're offended," but back then I panicked and retreated. I literally went under my covers like when I was a child and my parents would fight. Now, I handle things differently. I've learned to communicate better. Early into the filming of Season 7, Bethenny and I got into a huge fight. But I realized very quickly, what are we fighting about? This is ridiculous. The old Ramona would've said, Okay, we had a fight. I'm angry at her, she's angry at me. So be it. The issue would have festered and we might have damaged our friendship for good. Being the person I am now, I decided to go see her to try and reconcile right away. Of course, she got even angrier but I kept calm and approached her again and, in the end, we made up. Sometimes people are just angry. Not at you, but about their situation. In the past, I never saw things that way. I would take things way too personally, but I've evolved.
  Recently LuAnn said to me, "Ramona, you're so warm and fuzzy now." Who would ever have thought LuAnn would call me warm and fuzzy? I think that going through what I went through with my marriage falling apart has made me a different person. When you're emotionally hurt like that, when you're betrayed by your husband, it makes you more vulnerable. You can retreat or you can learn from it. It was a learning experience.Once we were all together on the yacht, I was so over-the-top happy and excited.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Provide the last five paragraphs.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: Thankfully, Avery has come through all of this with her spirit intact. I always tell her how proud I am of the amazing young woman she has become. Avery can be very hard on herself, especially about schoolwork. I remember during that very stressful year, when she came home for winter break, she was beating herself up about her grades. I took her hand and told her, "Avery, getting all As doesn't matter. You are so unbelievably special and smart. I know that in life you will succeed in a huge way." Despite all the pain she endured, she worked hard all semester and got herself into the University of Virginia. She is in love with her school and is finally having a true college experience. I've visited her there and agree that it's the perfect place for her. Avery has taken me with her to frat parties and we have become closer than ever this past year. She has become as much my friend as she is my daughter. We see UVA as a gift for her after all the pain she has been through. Finally, my daughter is happy again.
  I don't know what the future holds for me. For the first time in my life I can't see where the road ahead leads. Maybe that's why this is happening. Maybe my challenge right now is to embrace the uncertainty of life. Every day is a struggle and there are times when I still can't believe this has happened to us. What gives me the strength to go on is my faith in God. I pray to God every day for myself, for Avery, even for Mario. Because of everything I have been through, I know that am strong enough to handle anything life throws at me. I have always been independent, always stood on my own two feet. Whatever happens with my marriage, I know that I will be okay. I've learned that you just have to face whatever life throws at you head on. Some days I feel strong, other days not so much, but I wake up every morning and put one foot in front of the other until I find that I am moving forward.
  Whenever things feel hopeless, I hear my mother's voice, you must have faith in God, Ramona, and you must have faith in yourself. Always know that if you have faith, true faith, you can accomplish anything. Despite everything she went through, my mother never gave up and neither will I. Life is a roller coaster, or in my case it's a Ramonacoaster. Sometimes it's thrilling, sometimes it's terrifying, but you just have to raise your hands in the air, throw your head back, and enjoy the ride.
  To my mother: Through her I became the strong independent woman I am. She taught me to be directed and positive and that I could attain anything in my life.
  Avery, you have been my shining light through some of my darkest moments. I look at you and see a young woman who is as beautiful inside as on the outside. You have wisdom beyond your years. You have a great soul, heart and such compassion. The love I have for you surpasses anything I thought possible. You inspire me to embrace my new beginnings.