conversations.from: human
conversations.value: a description for a book titled How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons about Many, Brady, Bunch with the genre: Self-Help, Relationships
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: We all know that life can get tough. Many companies are down-sizing and letting workers go, leaving those with jobs uneasy about their future. Many families are under the added stress of divorce or remarriage - and newly blended families seldom look like the Brady Bunch! On top of these pressures, technology is speeding up the pace of life, confronting each of us with hundreds of tasks that all seemingly need to get done today. With all this stress, pressure, uncertainty, and worry, there are may things and many people out there who can potentially set you off, drive you crazy, or push your buttons. This book provides specific, realistic ways to keep people and events from pushing your buttons. It does so without resorting to theoretical jargon, "new age" psychology, or positive-thinking quick fixes. You will find here a set of specific skills you can use to help you react more effectively in the face of potential button-pushers.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: the first four paragraphs for this book
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons
  You may have noticed that we used the terms depression and burnout together. We did because they often look the same. If you described someone who was burned out, how would you describe that person (bored, listless, flat affect, unproductive, doesn't care about things he or she used to care about)? If we asked you to describe someone who was depressed, you might give a very similar description. They are often very much alike, and we've all felt like this about someone or something.
  Caution: Don't use other people's opinions of your behavior. ("Oh, you're just overreacting") if you don't truly agree. Sometimes they are right, but sometimes they are just being manipulative to get you to do what they want you to do. Use your own judgment!
  Once in a workshop when I (A.L.) asked for examples of A's, someone in the audience said, "Divorce." I replied, "And on the flip side?" and she said, "Death!"
  At this point you might be thinking this is a joke or a put-on. This is a true story—and it gets worse!
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Delete the last sentence.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons
  You may have noticed that we used the terms depression and burnout together. We did because they often look the same. If you described someone who was burned out, how would you describe that person (bored, listless, flat affect, unproductive, doesn't care about things he or she used to care about)? If we asked you to describe someone who was depressed, you might give a very similar description. They are often very much alike, and we've all felt like this about someone or something.
  Caution: Don't use other people's opinions of your behavior. ("Oh, you're just overreacting") if you don't truly agree. Sometimes they are right, but sometimes they are just being manipulative to get you to do what they want you to do. Use your own judgment!
  Once in a workshop when I (A.L.) asked for examples of A's, someone in the audience said, "Divorce." I replied, "And on the flip side?" and she said, "Death!"
  At this point you might be thinking this is a joke or a put-on.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: four more paragraphs
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: At this point you might be thinking this is a joke or a put-on. This is a true story—and it gets worse!
  German trains, I've since learned, often are "split in half," the one section then going in one direction (my luggage was doing fine—straight to Munich) while the other goes in a different direction (as with me, to Berlin).
  By the way, the number one phobia (far above all the typical ones like fear of heights, snakes, open spaces, closed spaces, or airplanes) is speaking in front of a group. Number two is close, and all the others are far below: Number two is death! Yes, people are more afraid of speaking in front of a group than they are of dying! I believe that's true because you often hear people who are asked to speak say, "I wouldn't get up there. I'd be so embarrassed, I'd die!"
  I had an interesting reaction from one person in an audience to the question "What would you do if I threw the snakes into the group?" He said in a distinct Texas drawl, "I'd pick 'em up." I said, "C'mon, what are you trying to be, macho man?"—and he explained that as a boy he'd lived on a ranch where they raised rattlers for a roadside tourist attraction. He thought about this situation differently. He believed he had a better chance of being safe by picking them up carefully than by running out of the room and stepping on one by mistake. In this case, it was because of his past experience, and what he told himself (at Point B) about it.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: the last three paragraphs
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: In this particular case, we are assuming that Joann's description of her husband's behavior has been accurate. It is always possible that one's perception of someone else's behavior is distorted or inaccurate, but that can only be clarified by discussion, not fighting.
  The unfortunately popular TV show "Married... With Children" was supposedly an exaggerated satire on the too-good-to-be-true "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Leave It to Beaver" types of family shows. We doubt that anyone predicted the extent to which viewers would genuinely identify it as being closer to their real world.
  In spite of the actual number of single persons, it takes years and years for traditional societal expectations and biases to change and catch up to reality. During these transitions, many people get caught in the middle, between what they would choose (to be single) and what society stills expects (marriage). How they think about that dilemma will determine how they feel, and even what they choose to do.