conversations.from: human
conversations.value: What is the first five paragraphs for a book with the title 'Round Ireland with a Fridge'? End with the sentence ' Without the particular expertise of that estate agent and for his aptly chosen words 'SUIT DISCO', heaven knows what doomed commercial venture an entrepreneur might have considered for that property, carelessly clearing out the bars and breaking up the dancefloor in order to open up a shoe shop.'.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: Round Ireland with a Fridge
  He was confused for a moment, then he rather hurriedly wished me good luck and drove off with a look on his face which suggested that he was relieved that I wasn't in his car anymore.
  I was greeted at the B&B by Rory, a young man who looked as if he'd just graduated and was some way from being the middle-aged maternal lady called Rosie who I imagined ran all these kinds of establishments. He had very thick lenses in his glasses and I found the resulting enlargement of his eyes a little disconcerting. He declared that he had no problems on the vacancy front given that he had no other guests staying. Initially he didn't comment as I wheeled the fridge into his hall, but he surveyed it in such a way as to suggest that he wasn't confident that his thick lenses were thick enough. A few seconds passed and he capitulated.
  He didn't pursue this line of questioning and I offered nothing further although I could tell that he was curious. I had made a decision before leaving that I would try not to volunteer information about this fridge unless it was asked of me and then I would tell the truth. I was interested to see how many people wouldn't ask, either through politeness or a general lack of interest. Rory fell into the former category.
  On a previous visit to Dublin I'd gone to a nightclub in a basement in Leeson Street called Buck Whaley's. It was an evening of no significance other than for an estate agent's sign which had caught my eye. Two doors down from Buck Whaleys another basement club had closed down but the dormant neon light letters spelling out the word 'DISCOTHEQUE' remained. Outside an estate agent had placed a board saying:
  I was impressed. After all that's what you pay your money for. Without the particular expertise of that estate agent and for his aptly chosen words 'SUIT DISCO', heaven knows what doomed commercial venture an entrepreneur might have considered for that property, carelessly clearing out the bars and breaking up the dancefloor in order to open up a shoe shop.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: What is five more paragraphs?
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: And so my first foray into the wilds of Connemara was complemented by a detailed analysis of Middlesborough's tragic season. Maybe it took the edge off my enjoyment of the bracken browns and soft violets of the mountains, but Billy and Jane had been decent enough to stop and give me and my fridge a lift, and they needed to get this football stuff out of their system. Better out than in, and I knew I was performing a necessary service by being the ears for their pain.
  Just between Where the team really went wrong' and 'How the manager should build for the future', I had enough time to look out of the window and recall the snapshot of my new-found friends from Matt Molloy's waving me goodbye. Hey, I thought, they were more than friends now, they were family. Well, the fridge's family. In less than twenty-four hours we had achieved a genuine bond of affection which we had unwittingly formalised and cemented in our own childlike baptism ceremony. I reckoned I'd miss them.
  Billy and Jane were on holiday touring around the west of Ireland and they absolutely loved the place. Jane was adamant that she wanted to uproot and settle there.
  And you couldn't. It may have been nonsensical, and whimsy bordering on the cavalier, but it certainly wasn't unfair.
  You first see the abbey when you turn a corner in the road and the imposing turreted building becomes visible across a reedy lake, on whose shores it sits, sheltered by the wooded slopes of the hillside climbing steeply behind it.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: Delete the last sentence.
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: And so my first foray into the wilds of Connemara was complemented by a detailed analysis of Middlesborough's tragic season. Maybe it took the edge off my enjoyment of the bracken browns and soft violets of the mountains, but Billy and Jane had been decent enough to stop and give me and my fridge a lift, and they needed to get this football stuff out of their system. Better out than in, and I knew I was performing a necessary service by being the ears for their pain.
  Just between Where the team really went wrong' and 'How the manager should build for the future', I had enough time to look out of the window and recall the snapshot of my new-found friends from Matt Molloy's waving me goodbye. Hey, I thought, they were more than friends now, they were family. Well, the fridge's family. In less than twenty-four hours we had achieved a genuine bond of affection which we had unwittingly formalised and cemented in our own childlike baptism ceremony. I reckoned I'd miss them.
  Billy and Jane were on holiday touring around the west of Ireland and they absolutely loved the place. Jane was adamant that she wanted to uproot and settle there.
  And you couldn't. It may have been nonsensical, and whimsy bordering on the cavalier, but it certainly wasn't unfair.
conversations.from: human
conversations.value: What is the last three paragraphs?
conversations.from: assistant
conversations.value: Kevin shook my hand, and I immediately began thinking about how I could get out of things. It wasn't too late to halt pro-ceedings. A quick phone call to Monsieur L'Agent and it would fall to him to let down the vendors.
  By now it was beginning to dawn on me. I worked out what had caused the sudden shift in Kevin's role from confirmed sceptic to enthusiastic supporter. Two words summed it up.
  It all made perfect sense. As one of my oldest friends he knew that he would naturally fall into the 'keys are yours whenever you want them' category. Overnight, he'd realised that the biggest beneficiary of my hopelessly ill-prepared lurch into the world of overseas ownership would be none other than his good self.