human
Are you mad, Maria?
gpt
Mad? No. Why should you think me mad? The nun turned and looked down at her aunt.
human
After all, it is the great question. Our lives are but a preparation for death. Why need the preparation be so long? Why should the death be so slow? Why should it be right to kill ourselves for the glory of God by degrees, and wrong to do it all at once, if one has the courage? I think it is a very reasonable question.
gpt
Indeed, you are beside yourself! The devil suggests such things to you and blinds you to the truth, my child. Penance and prayer, prayer and penance--by the grace of Heaven it will pass.
human
Penance and prayer! exclaimed Maria, sadly.
gpt
That is it--a slow death, but a sure one!
human
I am more than sixty years old, replied the abbess.
gpt
I have done penance and prayed prayers all my life, and you see--I am well. I am stout.
human
For charity's sake, do not say so! cried Maria, making the sign of the horns with her fingers, to ward off the evil eye.
gpt
You will certainly fall ill.
human
Our lives are of God. It is our own eyes that are evil. You must not make horns with your fingers. It is a heathen superstition, as I have often told you. But many of you do it. Maria, I wish to speak to you seriously.
gpt
Speak, mother,
human
These thoughts of yours are very wicked. We are placed in the world, and we must continue to live in it, as long as God wills that we should. When God is pleased to deliver us, He will take us in good time. You and I and the sisters should be thankful that during our brief stay on earth this sanctuary has fallen to our lot, and this possibility of a holy life. We must take every advantage of it, thanking Heaven if our stay be long enough for us to repent of our sins and obtain indulgence for our venial shortcomings. It is wicked to desire to shorten our lives. It is wicked to desire anything which is not the will of God. We are here to live, to watch and to pray--not to complain and to rebel.