human
I have come, said the god,
gpt
The captain bowed.
human
Allow me to ask after my brother and liege sovereign, the good old King George.
gpt
He is not so well, said the captain,
human
More's the pity, replied Neptune;
gpt
The Prince is well, said the captain,
human
And how does he get on with his wife?
gpt
Bad enough, said the captain;
human
Ah! I thought so, said the god of the sea.
gpt
His royal highness should take a leaf out of my book: never allow it to be doubtful who is commanding officer.
human
And pray what might your majesty's specific be, to cure a bad wife?
gpt
Three feet of the cross-jack brace every morning before breakfast, for a quarter of an hour, and half an hour on a Sunday.
human
But why more on a Sunday than any other day?
gpt
Why? said Neptune.
human
Why, because she'd been keeping Saturday night, to be sure; besides, she has less to do of a Sunday, and more time to think of her sins, and do penance.
gpt
But you would not have a prince strike a lady, surely?
human
Wouldn't I? No, to be sure, if she behave herself as _sich_, on no account; but if she gives tongue, and won't keep sober, I'd sarve her as I do Amphy--don't I, Amphy? chucking the goddess under the chin.
gpt
We have no bad wives in the bottom of the sea: and so if you don't know how to keep 'em in order, send them to us.
human
But your majesty's remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion in England, if the king was to beat his wife.
gpt
Make the lords in waiting do it, then, said the surly god;
human
His royal highness shall certainly hear your advice, Mr Neptune; but whether he will follow it or not, is not for me to say. Would you please to drink his royal highness's good health?
gpt
With all my heart, sir; I was always loyal to my king, and ready to drink his health, and to fight for him.
human
Here's a good health and a long life to our gracious king and all the royal family. The roads are unkimmon dusty, and we hav'n't wet our lips since we left St. Thomas on the line, this morning. But we have no time to lose, captain, said the sea god;
gpt
I see many new faces here, as requires washing and shaving; and if we add bleeding and physic, they will be all the better for it.
human
Hark ye, my Tritons, you are called here to shave, duck, and physic all as needs; but I command you to be gentle. I'll have no ill-usage; if we gets a bad name, we gets no more fees; and the first of you as disobeys my orders, I'll tie him to a ten-inch mortar, and sink him ten thousand fathoms deep in the ocean, where he shall feed on salt water and sea-weed for a hundred years: begone to your work.