human
and sit there playing _écarté_, at once pleasantly soothed and stimulated by their cigars and brandy and water, for half a day together. Then Yahoo got up frequent excursions to Grilston, and even to York; where, together with his two companions, he had
gpt
as the newspapers began to intimate with growing frequency and distinctness. Actuated by that execrable licentiousness with reference to the female sex, by which he was peculiarly distinguished, and of which he boasted, he had got into several curious adventures with farmers' girls, and others in the vicinity of Yatton, and even among the female members of the establishment at the Hall; in which latter quarter Fitz-Snooks and Titmouse began to imitate his example. Mr. Gammon had conceived a horrid loathing and disgust for the miscreant leader into these enormities; and, but for certain consequences, would have despatched him with as much indifference as he would have laid arsenic in the way of a bold voracious rat, or killed a snake. As it was, he secretly caused him to experience, on one or two occasions, the effects of his good-will towards him. Yahoo had offered certain atrocious indignities to the sweetheart of a strapping young farmer; whose furious complaints coming to Mr. Gammon's ears, that gentleman, under a pledge of secrecy, gave him two guineas to be on the look-out for Yahoo, and give him the best taste he could of a pair of Yorkshire fists. A day or two afterwards, the Satyr fell in with his unsuspected enemy. Yahoo was a strongly-built man, and an excellent bruiser; but was at first disposed to shirk the fight, on glancing at the prodigious proportions of Hazel, and the fury flaming in his eyes. The instant, however, that he saw the fighting attitude into which poor Hazel had thrown himself, Yahoo smiled, stripped, and set to. I am sorry to say that it was a good while before Hazel could get one single blow at his accomplished opponent; whom, however, he at length began to wear out. Then he gave the Yahoo a miserable pommelling, to be sure; and finished by knocking out five of his front teeth, viz. three in the upper, and two in the under jaw--beautifully white and regular they certainly had been; and the loss of them caused him great affliction on the score of his appearance, and also, not a little interfered with the process of cigar-smoking. It would, besides, have debarred him, had he been so disposed, from enlisting as a soldier, inasmuch as he could not bite off the end of his cartridge: wherefore, it would seem, that Hazel had committed the offence of _Mayhem_.[17] Mr. Gammon condoled heartily with Mr. Yahoo, on hearing of the brutal attack which had been made upon him; and as the assault had not been committed in the presence of a witness, strongly recommended him to bring an action of trespass _vi et armis_ against Hazel, which Gammon undertook to conduct to--a nonsuit. While they were conversing in this friendly way together, it suddenly occurred to Gammon that there was another service which he could render to Mr. Yahoo, and with equally strict observance of the injunction, _not to let his left hand know what his right hand did_; for he loved the character of a secret benefactor. So he wrote up a letter to Snap, (whom he knew to have been treated very insolently by Yahoo,) desiring him to go to two or three Jew bill-brokers and money-lenders, and ascertain whether they had any paper by them with the name of
human
Yahoo upon it:--and in the event of such being discovered, he was to act in the manner pointed out by Gammon. Off went Snap like a shot, on receiving this letter; and the very first gentleman he applied to, viz. a Mr. SUCK'EM DRY, proved to be possessed of an acceptance of Yahoo's for £200, for which Dry had given only twenty-five pounds, on speculation. He readily yielded to Snap's offer, to give him a shy at Mr. Yahoo _gratis_--and put the document into the hands of Snap; who forthwith delivered it, confidentially, to Swinddle Shark, gent., one &c., a little Jew attorney in Chancery Lane, into whose office the dirty work of Quirk, Gammon, and Snap was swept--in cases where they did not choose to appear. I wish the mutilated Yahoo could have seen the mouthful of glittering teeth that were displayed by the hungry Jew, on receiving the above commission. His duties, though of a painful, were of a brief and simple description. 'Twas a plain case of _Indorsee_ v. _Acceptor_. The affidavit of debt was sworn the same afternoon; and within an hour's time afterwards, a thin slip of paper was delivered into the hands of the under-sheriff of Yorkshire, commanding him to take the body[18] of Pimp Yahoo, if he should be found in his bailiwick, and him safely keep--out of harm's way--to enable him to pay £200 _debt_ to Suck'em Dry, and £24, 6s. 10d. _costs_ to Swindle Shark. Down went that little
gpt
had quitted Yatton Hall for York Castle, where he intended to remain and receive a large party of friends--it was gratifying to see how soon, and in what force, they began to muster and rally round him.