human
Yas--always last; expecial at funerals and weddings. Except his own--he's sure to be on time at his own funeral. Right out in front! Hah? But sometimes he misses his wedding. Why, I knowed a feller--yous all knowed him, begoshens!--that didn't git there tell another feller'd married her--'bout more'n a year afterward. Wasn't it more'n a year, boys? Yas--Bill Eisenkrout. Or, now, was it his brother--Baltzer Iron-Cabbage? Seems to me now like it was Baltz. Somesing wiss a B at the front end, anyhow.
gpt
Safe? cried the speaker.
human
Of course! But for why--say, for why?
gpt
You don't know! Hang you, none of yous knows! Well--because he ain't there when anysing occurs--always a little late!
human
But, fellers, the worst is about courting. It's no way to be always late. Everybody else gits there first, and it's nossing for the fastnacht but weeping and wailing and gnashing of the teeth. And mebby the other feller gits considerable happiness--and a good farm.
gpt
Baumgartner's Yearn.