human
Well, my dear boy, began the General one day after dinner,
gpt
I've seen your game, though you thought I didn't. How do you know, you young dog, that I shall give my consent?
human
Oh, bother, governor, I know you will, cried Sydie, aghast;
gpt
You sly dog! chuckled the governor,
human
I'm not talking of your wine-merchant, and you know I'm not, Master Sydie. It's no good playing hide-and-seek with me; I can always see through a milestone when Cupid is behind it; and there's no need to beat round the bush with me, my boy. I never gave my assent to anything with greater delight in my life; I've always meant you to marry Fay, and----
gpt
Marry Fay! shouted Sydie.
human
Good Heavens! governor, what next?
gpt
Why, sir, why?--why, because--devil take you, Sydie--I don't know what you are laughing at, do you?
human
Yes, I do, governor; you're laboring under a most delicious delusion.
gpt
Delusion!--eh?--what? Why, bless my soul, I don't think you know what you are saying, Sydie,
human
Yes I do; you've an idea--how you got it into your head Heaven knows, but there it is--you've an idea that Fay and I are in love with one another; and I assure you you were never more mistaken in your life.
gpt
Fay and I would do a good deal to oblige you, my beloved governor, if we could get up the steam a little, but I'm afraid we really _cannot_. Love ain't in one's own hands, you see, but a skittish mare, that gets her head, and takes the bit between her teeth, and bolts off with you wherever she likes. Is it possible that two people who broke each other's toys, and teased each other's lives out, and caught the measles of each other, from their cradle upwards, should fall in love with each other when they grow up? Besides, I don't intend to marry for the next twenty years, if I can help it. I couldn't afford a milliner's bill to my tailor's, and I should be ruined for life if I merged my bright particular star of a self into a respectable, lark-shunning, bill-paying, shabby-hatted, family man. Good Heavens, what a train of horrors comes with the bare idea!
human
Do you mean to say, sir, you won't marry your cousin?
gpt
Bless your dear old heart, _no_, governor--ten times over, _no_! I wouldn't marry anybody, not for half the universe.
human
Then I've done with you, sir--I wash my hands of you! shouted the General, tearing up and down the room in a quick march, more beneficial to his feelings than his carpet.
gpt
You are an ungrateful, unprincipled, shameless young man, and are no more worthy of the affection and the interest I've been fool enough to waste on you than a tom-cat. You're an abominably selfish, ungrateful, unnatural boy; and though you _are_ poor Phil's son, I will tell you my mind, sir; and I must say I think your conduct with your cousin, making love to her--desperate love to her--winning her affections, poor unhappy child, and then making a jest of her and treating it with a laugh, is disgraceful, sir--_disgraceful_, do you hear?
human
Yes, I hear, General, cried Sydie, convulsed with laughter;
gpt
Hold your tongue! stormed the General.
human
Don't dare to say another word to me about it. You know well enough that it has been the one delight of my life, and if you'd had any respect or right feeling in you, you'd marry her to-morrow.
gpt
She wouldn't be a party to that. Few women _are_ blind to my manifold attractions; but Fay's one of 'em. Look here, governor, said Sydie, laying his hand affectionately on the General's shoulder,
human
Nothing has occurred to me but that you and she are two heartless, selfish, ungrateful chits. Hold your tongue, sir!
gpt
But, General----
human
Hold your tongue, sir; don't talk to me, I tell you. In love with somebody else? I should like to see him show his face here. Somebody she's talked to for five minutes at a race-ball, and proposed to her in a corner, thinking to get some of my money. Some swindler, or Italian refugee, or blackleg, I'll be bound--taken her in, made her think him an angel, and will persuade her to run away with him. I'll set the police round the house--I'll send her to school in Paris. What fools men are to have anything to do with women at all! You seem in their confidence; who's the fellow?
gpt
A man very like a swindler or a blackleg--Keane!
human
Keane!
gpt
Keane,
human
Keane! shouted the General again.
gpt
God bless my soul, she might as well have fallen in love with the man in the moon. Why couldn't she like the person I'd chosen for her?
human
If one can't guide the mare one's self, 'tisn't likely the governors can for one,
gpt
Poor dear child! fallen in love with a man who don't care a button for her, eh? Humph!--that's always the way with women--lose the good chances, and fling themselves at a man's feet who cares no more for their tom-foolery of worship than he cares for the blacking on his boots. Devil take young people, what a torment they are! The ungrateful little jade, how dare she go and smash all my plans like that? and if I ever set my heart on anything, I set it on that match. Keane! he'll no more love anybody than the stone cherubs on the terrace. He's a splendid head, but his heart's every atom as cold as granite. Love her? Not a bit of it. When I told him you were going to marry her (I thought you would, and so you will, too, if you've the slightest particle of gratitude or common sense in either of you), he listened as quietly and as calmly as if he had been one of the men in armor in the hall. Love, indeed! To the devil with love, say I! It's the head and root of everything that's mischievous and bad.
human
Wait a bit, uncle, cried Sydie;