human
I believe you could, she said, looking at him.
gpt
You are so strong. You could do anything.
human
Things are never so hard as they look, if one is willing to risk everything, he answered.
gpt
And when one has nothing to lose,
human
There is nothing to risk, she said.
gpt
It is not a case of danger. And you cannot take my trouble and tear it up like a pack of cards with those hands of yours. I wish you could. I am unhappy--yes, I have told you so. But what can you do to help me? You cannot make my surroundings what they are not, you know.
human
No--I cannot change your husband,
gpt
No. You cannot make him love me,
human
Do you mean to say--
gpt
Reanda does not love you? he said, in wondering interrogation.
human
Why--I thought--
gpt
He cares no more for me than--that!
human
Are you in serious earnest?
gpt
Does any one jest about such things?
human
And you--you love him still?
gpt
Yes--I love him. The more fool I.
human
It is a pity, he said, resting his forehead in his hand.
gpt
It is a deadly pity.
human
You see, she said.
gpt
There is nothing to be done. Is there? You know my story now. I have married a man I worship, and he does not care for me. Take it and twist it as you may, it comes to that and nothing else. You can pity me, but you cannot help me. I must bear it as well as I can, and as long as I must. It will end some day--or I will make it end.
human
For God's sake do not talk like that!
gpt
How should I talk? What should I say? Is it of any use to speak to him? Do you think I have not begged him, implored him, besought him, almost on my knees, to give up that work and do other things?
human
You mean that he--that when he is painting there--
gpt
Of course. All day long. All the bitter live-long day! They sit there together on pretence of talking about it. You know--you can guess at least--it is the old, old story, and I have to suffer for it. She could not marry him--because she is a princess and he an artist--good enough for me--God knows, I love him! Too good for her, ten thousand times too good! But yet not good enough for her to marry! He needed a wife, and she brought us together, and I suppose he told her that I should do very well for the purpose. I was a good subject. I fell in love with him--that was what they wanted. A wife for her favourite! O God! When I think of it--
human
It is not to be believed!
gpt
No! she cried.
human
It is not to be believed! But you see it now. You see what it all is, and how my life is wrecked and ruined before it is half begun. It would be bad enough if I had married him for his fame, for his face, for his money, for anything he has or could have. But I married him because I loved him with all my soul, and worshipped him and everything he did.
gpt
I know. We all saw it.
human
Of course--was it anything to hide? And I thought he loved me, too. Do you know? She grew more calm.
gpt
At first I used to go and sit in the hall when he was at work. Then he grew silent, and I felt that he did not want me. I thought it was because he was such a great artist, and could not talk and work, and wanted to be alone. So I stayed away. Then, once, I went there, and she was there, sitting in that great chair--it shows off the innocence of her white face, you know! The innocence of it! Gloria laughed bitterly.
human
They were talking when I came, and they stopped as soon as the door opened. I am sure they were talking about me. Then they seemed dreadfully uncomfortable, and she went away. After that I went several times. Once or twice she came in while I was there. Then she did not come any more. He must have told her, of course. He kept looking at the door, though, as if he expected her at any moment. But she never came again in those days. I could not bear it--his trying to talk to me, and evidently wishing all the time that she would come. I gave up going altogether at last. What could I do? It was unbearable. It was more than flesh and blood could stand.
gpt
I do not wonder that you hate her, said Griggs.
human
I have often thought you did.
gpt
Yes, she answered.
human
I hate her with all my heart. She has robbed me of the only thing I ever had worth having--if I ever had it. I sometimes wonder--or rather, no. I do not wonder, for I know the truth well enough. I have been over and over it again and again in the night. He never loved me. He never could love any one but her. He knew her long ago, and has loved her all his life. Why should he put me in her place? He admired me. I was a beautiful plaything--no, not beautiful--
gpt
You are the most beautiful woman in the world,