human
Surely, she said,
gpt
But I'm with you now,
human
With me! What's the use of that? You must know what I mean.
gpt
I suppose you mean a man.
human
That sounds--oh, well, how can we help it? It is not our fault. We have to be so, even if we hate it. And I do hate it. I don't want to care about him. I never have. He's not in my set. He doesn't know anyone I know, or do anything I do, or care for almost anything I care for--perhaps. But I feel I could do such things for him, that he will never do for himself. And I want to do them. I must do them, but he will never let me.
gpt
I hope he's a gentleman. I don't believe in mixing classes, simply because it seems to me that one class never really understands another, not at all because one class isn't just as good as another.
human
Of course he's a gentleman. Mrs. Shiffney asked him to come on the yacht.
gpt
Oh! Mr. Heath!
human
D'you know him?
gpt
No.
human
Have you seen him?
gpt
No, never. I only heard that he might be coming from Adelaide, and then that he wasn't coming.
human
He knew I was coming and he refused to come. Isn't it degrading?
gpt
Is he a great friend of yours?
human
No, but he is of my mother's. What must you think of me? What do you think of me?
gpt
I didn't know till I came here. I thought I disliked him, I almost thought I hated him.
human
That's always a bad sign, I believe,
gpt
Yes, I know. But he doesn't hate me. He doesn't think about me. He's mother's friend and not even my enemy. Do tell me, Miss Fleet--or may I call you Susan to-day?
human
Of course, and to-morrow, too.
gpt
Thank you. You've seen lots of people. Do you think I have personality? Do you think I--am I just like everyone else? That's such a hideous idea! Have I anything that stamps me? Am I a little different from all the other girls--you know, in our sort of set? Do tell me!
human
No, I don't think you're just like everyone else.
gpt
You aren't. And he isn't. He's not in the least like any other man I ever saw. That's the dreadful part of it. I can't imagine why I care for him, and that's why I know I shall never care for anyone else.
human
Perhaps he likes you.
gpt
No, no! No, I'm sure he doesn't. He thinks, like everyone else, that I have nothing particular in me. But it isn't true. Susan, sometimes we know a thing by instinct--don't we?
human
Certainly. Instinct is often the experience of the past working within us.
gpt
Well, I know that I am the woman who could make Claude Heath famous, who could do for him what he could never do for himself. He has genius, I believe. Max Elliot says so. And I feel it when I'm with him. But he has no capacity for using it, as it ought to be used, to dominate the world. He's never been in the world. He knows, and wishes to know, nothing of it. That's absurd, isn't it? We ought to give, if we have anything extraordinary to give. Oh, if you knew how I've longed and pined to be extraordinary!
human
Extraordinary? In what way?
gpt
In gifts, in talent! I've suffered dreadfully because I simply can't endure just to be one of the silly, dull crowd. But lately--quite lately--I've begun to realize what I could be, do. I could be the perfect wife to a great man. Don't laugh at me!
human
I'm not laughing.
gpt
Aren't you? You are a dear! I knew you would understand. You see I've always been among people who matter. I've always known clever men who've made their names. I've always breathed in the atmosphere of culture. I'm at home in the world. I know how to take people. I have social capacities. Now he's quite different. The fact is, I have all he hasn't. And he has what I haven't, his talent. He's remarkable. Anyone would feel it in an instant. I believe he's a great man _manqué_ because of a sort of kink in his temperament. And--I know that I could get rid of that kink _if_--
human
Oh, isn't it awful to be madly in love with a man who doesn't care for you?
gpt
I'm not, returned Susan Fleet, quietly.
human
But I daresay it is.
gpt
When I look at that island--
human
But I will bring out what is in me! I will not let all my capacities go to rust.