human
Well! he said, with no preliminary,
gpt
Why, Ed! I didn't expect to see you for--
human
No! Of course you didn't. Why ain't you out with some of your swell friends that I ain't good enough to meet, shopping, and buying dresses, and God knows what--
gpt
Why, Ed!
human
Oh, don't 'why-Ed' me! Well, ain't you going to come and kiss me? Nice reception when a man's come home tired from a hard trip--wife so busy reading a book that she don't even get up from her chair and make him welcome in his own room that he pays for. Yes, by--
gpt
Why, you didn't--you don't act as though--
human
Yes, sure, that's right; lay it all on--
gpt
Well, neither would anybody if they'd had all the worries I've had, sitting there worrying on a slow, hot train that stopped at every pig-pen--yes, and on a day-coach, too, by golly! _Somebody_ in this family has got to economize!--while you sit here cool and comfortable; not a thing on your mind but your hair; not a thing to worry about except thinking how damn superior you are to your husband! Oh, sure! But I made up my mind--I thought it all out for once, and I made up my mind to one thing, you can help me out by economizing, anyway.
human
Oh, Ed, I don't know what you're driving at. I _haven't_ been extravagant, ever. Why, I've asked you any number of times not to spend so much money for suppers and so forth--
gpt
Yes, sure, lay it all onto me. I'm fair game for everybody that's looking for a nice, soft, easy, safe boob to kick! Why, look there!
human
Look at this! Candy or something all the while! You never have a single cent left when I come home--candy and ice-cream sodas, and matinées, and dresses, and everything you can think of. If it ain't one thing, it's another. Well, you'll either save from now on--
gpt
Look here! What do you mean, working off your grouch on--
human
Fired? Oh, Ed!
gpt
Yes, fired-oh-Ed. Canned. Got the gate. Thrown out. Got the razzle-dazzle. Got the hook thrown into me. Bounced. Kiyudeled. That is, at least, I will be, as soon as I let the old man get at me, judging from the love-letters he's been sending me, inviting me to cut a switch and come out to the wood-shed with him.
human
Oh, Ed dear, what was the trouble?