human
Our England is a bonny island, said Shirley,
gpt
You are a Yorkshire girl too?
human
I am--Yorkshire in blood and birth. Five generations of my race sleep under the aisles of Briarfield Church. I drew my first breath in the old black hall behind us.
gpt
We are compatriots,
human
Yes,
gpt
And that, asked Miss Keeldar, pointing to the forest--
human
It is.
gpt
Were you ever there?
human
Many a time.
gpt
In the heart of it?
human
Yes.
gpt
What is it like?
human
It is like an encampment of forest sons of Anak. The trees are huge and old. When you stand at their roots, the summits seem in another region. The trunks remain still and firm as pillars, while the boughs sway to every breeze. In the deepest calm their leaves are never quite hushed, and in high wind a flood rushes, a sea thunders above you.
gpt
Was it not one of Robin Hood's haunts?
human
Yes, and there are mementos of him still existing. To penetrate into Nunnwood, Miss Keeldar, is to go far back into the dim days of old. Can you see a break in the forest, about the centre?
gpt
Yes, distinctly.
human
That break is a dell--a deep, hollow cup, lined with turf as green and short as the sod of this common. The very oldest of the trees, gnarled mighty oaks, crowd about the brink of this dell. In the bottom lie the ruins of a nunnery.
gpt
We will go--you and I alone, Caroline--to that wood, early some fine summer morning, and spend a long day there. We can take pencils and sketch-books, and any interesting reading book we like; and of course we shall take something to eat. I have two little baskets, in which Mrs. Gill, my housekeeper, might pack our provisions, and we could each carry our own. It would not tire you too much to walk so far?
human
Oh no; especially if we rested the whole day in the wood. And I know all the pleasantest spots. I know where we could get nuts in nutting time; I know where wild strawberries abound; I know certain lonely, quite untrodden glades, carpeted with strange mosses, some yellow as if gilded, some a sober gray, some gem-green. I know groups of trees that ravish the eye with their perfect, picture-like effects--rude oak, delicate birch, glossy beech, clustered in contrast; and ash trees stately as Saul, standing isolated; and superannuated wood-giants clad in bright shrouds of ivy. Miss Keeldar, I could guide you.
gpt
You would be dull with me alone?
human
I should not. I think we should suit; and what third person is there whose presence would not spoil our pleasure?
gpt
Indeed, I know of none about our own ages--no lady at least; and as to gentlemen----
human
An excursion becomes quite a different thing when there are gentlemen of the party,
gpt
I agree with you--quite a different thing to what we were proposing.
human
We were going simply to see the old trees, the old ruins; to pass a day in old times, surrounded by olden silence, and above all by quietude.
gpt
You are right; and the presence of gentlemen dispels the last charm, I think. If they are of the wrong sort, like your Malones, and your young Sykes, and Wynnes, irritation takes the place of serenity. If they are of the right sort, there is still a change; I can hardly tell what change--one easy to feel, difficult to describe.
human
We forget Nature, _imprimis_.
gpt
And then Nature forgets us, covers her vast calm brow with a dim veil, conceals her face, and withdraws the peaceful joy with which, if we had been content to worship her only, she would have filled our hearts.
human
What does she give us instead?
gpt
More elation and more anxiety; an excitement that steals the hours away fast, and a trouble that ruffles their course.
human
Our power of being happy lies a good deal in ourselves, I believe, remarked Caroline sagely.
gpt
I have gone to Nunnwood with a large party--all the curates and some other gentry of these parts, together with sundry ladies--and I found the affair insufferably tedious and absurd; and I have gone quite alone, or accompanied but by Fanny, who sat in the woodman's hut and sewed, or talked to the goodwife, while I roamed about and made sketches, or read; and I have enjoyed much happiness of a quiet kind all day long. But that was when I was young--two years ago.
human
Did you ever go with your cousin, Robert Moore?
gpt
Yes; once.
human
What sort of a companion is he on these occasions?
gpt
A cousin, you know, is different to a stranger.
human
I am aware of that; but cousins, if they are stupid, are still more insupportable than strangers, because you cannot so easily keep them at a distance. But your cousin is not stupid?
gpt
No; but----
human
Well?
gpt
If the company of fools irritates, as you say, the society of clever men leaves its own peculiar pain also. Where the goodness or talent of your friend is beyond and above all doubt, your own worthiness to be his associate often becomes a matter of question.
human
Oh! there I cannot follow you. That crotchet is not one I should choose to entertain for an instant. I consider myself not unworthy to be the associate of the best of them--of gentlemen, I mean--though that is saying a great deal. Where they are good, they are very good, I believe. Your uncle, by-the-bye, is not a bad specimen of the elderly gentleman. I am always glad to see his brown, keen, sensible old face, either in my own house or any other. Are you fond of him? Is he kind to you? Now, speak the truth.
gpt
He has brought me up from childhood, I doubt not, precisely as he would have brought up his own daughter, if he had had one; and that is kindness. But I am not fond of him. I would rather be out of his presence than in it.
human
Strange, when he has the art of making himself so agreeable.
gpt
Yes, in company; but he is stern and silent at home. As he puts away his cane and shovel-hat in the rectory hall, so he locks his liveliness in his book-case and study-desk: the knitted brow and brief word for the fireside; the smile, the jest, the witty sally for society.
human
Is he tyrannical?
gpt
Not in the least. He is neither tyrannical nor hypocritical. He is simply a man who is rather liberal than good-natured, rather brilliant than genial, rather scrupulously equitable than truly just--if you can understand such superfine distinctions.
human
Oh yes! Good-nature implies indulgence, which he has not; geniality, warmth of heart, which he does not own; and genuine justice is the offspring of sympathy and considerateness, of which, I can well conceive, my bronzed old friend is quite innocent.
gpt
I often wonder, Shirley, whether most men resemble my uncle in their domestic relations; whether it is necessary to be new and unfamiliar to them in order to seem agreeable or estimable in their eyes; and whether it is impossible to their natures to retain a constant interest and affection for those they see every day.
human
I don't know. I can't clear up your doubts. I ponder over similar ones myself sometimes. But, to tell you a secret, if I were convinced that they are necessarily and universally different from us--fickle, soon petrifying, unsympathizing--I would never marry. I should not like to find out that what I loved did not love me, that it was weary of me, and that whatever effort I might make to please would hereafter be worse than useless, since it was inevitably in its nature to change and become indifferent. That discovery once made, what should I long for? To go away, to remove from a presence where my society gave no pleasure.
gpt
But you could not if you were married.
human
No, I could not. There it is. I could never be my own mistress more. A terrible thought! It suffocates me! Nothing irks me like the idea of being a burden and a bore--an inevitable burden, a ceaseless bore! Now, when I feel my company superfluous, I can comfortably fold my independence round me like a mantle, and drop my pride like a veil, and withdraw to solitude. If married, that could not be.
gpt
I wonder we don't all make up our minds to remain single, said Caroline.
human
We should if we listened to the wisdom of experience. My uncle always speaks of marriage as a burden; and I believe whenever he hears of a man being married he invariably regards him as a fool, or, at any rate, as doing a foolish thing.
gpt
But, Caroline, men are not all like your uncle. Surely not. I hope not.
human
I suppose we each find an exception in the one we love, till we _are_ married,
gpt
I suppose so. And this exception we believe to be of sterling materials. We fancy it like ourselves; we imagine a sense of harmony. We think his voice gives the softest, truest promise of a heart that will never harden against us; we read in his eyes that faithful feeling--affection. I don't think we should trust to what they call passion at all, Caroline. I believe it is a mere fire of dry sticks, blazing up and vanishing. But we watch him, and see him kind to animals, to little children, to poor people. He is kind to us likewise, good, considerate. He does not flatter women, but he is patient with them, and he seems to be easy in their presence, and to find their company genial. He likes them not only for vain and selfish reasons, but as _we_ like him--because we like him. Then we observe that he is just, that he always speaks the truth, that he is conscientious. We feel joy and peace when he comes into a room; we feel sadness and trouble when he leaves it. We know that this man has been a kind son, that he is a kind brother. Will any one dare to tell me that he will not be a kind husband?
human
My uncle would affirm it unhesitatingly. 'He will be sick of you in a month,' he would say.
gpt
Mrs. Pryor would seriously intimate the same.
human
Mrs. Yorke and Miss Mann would darkly suggest ditto.
gpt
If they are true oracles, it is good never to fall in love.
human
Very good, if you can avoid it.
gpt
I choose to doubt their truth.
human
I am afraid that proves you are already caught.
gpt
Not I. But if I were, do you know what soothsayers I would consult?
human
Let me hear.
gpt
Neither man nor woman, elderly nor young: the little Irish beggar that comes barefoot to my door; the mouse that steals out of the cranny in the wainscot; the bird that in frost and snow pecks at my window for a crumb; the dog that licks my hand and sits beside my knee.
human
Did you ever see any one who was kind to such things?
gpt
Did you ever see any one whom such things seemed instinctively to follow, like, rely on?
human
We have a black cat and an old dog at the rectory. I know somebody to whose knee that black cat loves to climb, against whose shoulder and cheek it likes to purr. The old dog always comes out of his kennel and wags his tail, and whines affectionately when somebody passes.
gpt
And what does that somebody do?
human
He quietly strokes the cat, and lets her sit while he conveniently can; and when he must disturb her by rising, he puts her softly down, and never flings her from him roughly. He always whistles to the dog and gives him a caress.
gpt
Does he? It is not Robert?
human
But it is Robert.
gpt
Handsome fellow!
human
Is he not handsome? Has he not fine eyes and well-cut features, and a clear, princely forehead?
gpt
He has all that, Caroline. Bless him! he is both graceful and good.
human
I was sure you would see that he was. When I first looked at your face I knew you would.
gpt
I was well inclined to him before I saw him. I liked him when I did see him. I admire him now. There is charm in beauty for itself, Caroline; when it is blent with goodness, there is a powerful charm.
human
When mind is added, Shirley?
gpt
Who can resist it?
human
Remember my uncle, Mesdames Pryor, Yorke, and Mann.
gpt
Remember the croaking of the frogs of Egypt. He is a noble being. I tell you when they _are_ good they are the lords of the creation--they are the sons of God. Moulded in their Maker's image, the minutest spark of His spirit lifts them almost above mortality. Indisputably, a great, good, handsome man is the first of created things.
human
Above us?
gpt
I would scorn to contend for empire with him--I would scorn it. Shall my left hand dispute for precedence with my right? Shall my heart quarrel with my pulse? Shall my veins be jealous of the blood which fills them?
human
Men and women, husbands and wives, quarrel horribly, Shirley.
gpt
Poor things! Poor, fallen, degenerate things! God made them for another lot, for other feelings.
human
But are we men's equals, or are we not?
gpt
Nothing ever charms me more than when I meet my superior--one who makes me sincerely feel that he is my superior.
human
Did you ever meet him?
gpt
I should be glad to see him any day. The higher above me, so much the better. It degrades to stoop; it is glorious to look up. What frets me is, that when I try to esteem, I am baffled; when religiously inclined, there are but false gods to adore. I disdain to be a pagan.
human
Miss Keeldar, will you come in? We are here at the rectory gates.
gpt
Not to-day, but to-morrow I shall fetch you to spend the evening with me. Caroline Helstone, if you really are what at present to me you seem, you and I will suit. I have never in my whole life been able to talk to a young lady as I have talked to you this morning. Kiss me--and good-bye.