human
I am very sorry. Nothing could have been further----
gpt
So I just came to tell you that I am not accustomed to messages of that kind, and to beg you not to do it again.
human
No, not without letting me speak! he entreated incoherently.
gpt
If you knew what it means to me, how long I have looked forward----! That noble fellow Charteris gave me your message----
human
I think you must be dreaming, Mr Gerrard! The chilly indignation of her tone brought him to himself.
gpt
I send you a message by Major Charteris? Never!
human
Forgive me; I hardly know what I am saying. He told me you had refused him, and I thought that it might be because--that there might be some one else.
gpt
But even then?
human
You can't pretend not to understand--after everything----
gpt
But it might not be----
human
Oh no, no! the pain in his voice brought the tears to her eyes.
gpt
Don't say it's some one else! I could have given you up to him, but not---- You know something of what he is; there is no braver or better fellow in India, and now that his name is known, there's no saying how far he will go. You could not have refused him--unless----
human
Did you come here to plead Major Charteris's cause? she asked in a very small voice.
gpt
What if I--if I told you your--your pleading had convinced me?
human
I should say you had chosen the better man,
gpt
I have chosen the better man, murmured Honour.
human
But it is not Major Charteris,
gpt
I was certain of it! cried Gerrard triumphantly. Honour withdrew her hand hastily.
human
Certain? certain of what?
gpt
Miss Cinnamond--Honour--my dearest one--what have I done? I am an unlucky fellow! Have I offended you?
human
You said you were certain, explained Honour, with impatient deliberateness.
gpt
What were you certain of?
human
Why, that you could not have refused Charteris--splendid fellow that he is, and with all his honours and successes--unless there was a little sneaking kindness in your heart for some one else, and I hoped it might be for a poor wretched failure who has nothing to lay at your feet beyond his love and fidelity.
gpt
You are so absurd! she said, with a catch in her voice.
human
Of course, if pity is all you want----
gpt
Pity is not to be despised. It made a good beginning----
human
It did not! cried Honour sharply.
gpt
How blind you are! And I thought you understood! When you came to the Residency in the rains, were you to be pitied then?
human
I thought so. You would hardly look at me.
gpt
Oh, stupid! how could I?
human
You had begun to care then? But, dearest, how could I guess? You talked about nothing but Charteris.
gpt
It was the only way I could get you to talk about yourself. You had to tell me little bits about your own doings when you were describing all he had done.
human
If I had only known, it would have saved a lot of misery, both to poor old Bob and me, mused Gerrard ruefully.
gpt
But how could I possibly tell! When you asked so much about Charteris, of course I thought you cared for him.
human
As if I could ever have talked about him to you if I had cared for him!
gpt
Well, I don't see how I could have known,
human
Why, I told you! cried Honour--
gpt
I thought you must have meant that--just for a moment. But then you ran away, and would not even say good-bye to me.
human
How could I, when I had just told you--shouted it out before everybody? But I hid behind Mrs Antony and watched you go. I--I kissed my hand to you,
gpt
And I was bustled off, and never knew! Dear one, you have only yourself and my stupidity to thank if you marry a failure. What might I not have done if I had known you cared!
human
Perhaps you might not have known it then as well as you do now, whispered Honour shyly.
gpt
It--it must be you, you know, not your success, or----
human
So it is! But you won't insist on my remaining a failure always, for I'm hanged if I do. With you to inspire--to help----
gpt
Oh, you will let me, you think I can? she breathed.
human
I wanted, so dreadfully, to help people when I first came out, but no one seemed to want it--or else they just asked me to marry them----
gpt
But so have I. At least, that was my intention.
human
Oh, you! But you are different. And I may try to help?
gpt
Lady Memsahib done say wish done see Missy Sahib,
human
Well, is it all serene?
gpt
All right--thanks to you, Bob.
human
Oh, shut up! Seventh heaven?
gpt
Seventy times seventh.
human
I believe you, my boy! Papa and mamma agreeable?
gpt
They were most kind. Sir Arthur would have preferred you, Bob--I can't help seeing that--but he was quite decent. I even saw poor little Mrs Cowper for a moment. She cried, and said how glad she was.
human
Uncommon affecting! And she, herself?
gpt
She's--she's--I can't express what she is, even to you, Bob. Hang it! I believe I could talk of her all night, and get no nearer. She is an angel from heaven.
human
Question is, has she made up her mind at last--no more shilly-shallying? Hope I don't intrude in asking it.
gpt
Made up her mind---- Are you trying to throw doubts----? Oh, I see. But it's a thousand years since then, Bob. You yourself could have no doubt, if you saw her.
human
All right; I'm quite satisfied. If a doleful beggar like yourself can feel free from doubt----
gpt
I could no more doubt her than the sun at noon. Bob, I'll tell you. She will go with me to Central India when Sir Edmund goes.
human
Nonsense! he said sharply.
gpt
What folly is this? You are talking of leaving Granthistan?
human
I had made up my mind to it before you came to me this afternoon, and she agrees with me that it is the right thing.
gpt
My dear fellow, you don't know. I was talking to the G.-G.'s military secretary to-night, and he let slip that there would be a local majority for you at the next distribution of honours. If you leave Granthistan, of course that falls through.
human
Then I must wait till it comes in the natural course of things.
gpt
You don't seem to realise that Sir Arthur's influence won't help you outside Granthistan, and will be very little use in any line but the military. What's taken you?
human
It's simply that I mean to stick to Sir Edmund. My views as to the treatment of the natives were learnt from him, and I can work better with him than with our Mr James, much as I respect him.
gpt
James Antony is the coming man, and the man for me. But if you will choose the losing side--why, I suppose you must. It's like her, too.
human
It is, indeed--since she chose me and not you. Bob, I'm still lost in wonder over that.
gpt
Shows her wisdom. I don't mind telling you, Hal--it may make you more comfortable to hear it--that I had misgivings. Not about my own happiness--Heaven knows that I could ask nothing better--but whether I could make her happy. I can't spout Tennyson to her, or appreciate her pretty little German tales about knights and water-nymphs--the _New Sporting Magazine_ and _Lays of Ancient Rome_ are more my number. Evidently I am cut out for pacifying Darwan rather than for domestic joys. And after all, two years ago I would have given my ears to be where I am now. You have Honour, and I have honours, you see --with a fairly creditable laugh--