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Old Stub
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as he called it, with a little
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so as to
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_Mrs._
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Stub Bulliphant was busy too. _She_ was a perfect whirlwind; her temper was made of tartaric acid. Her voice might be heard above the confusion around giving directions to one, and a
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Bulliphant! screamed she, at the top of her lungs,
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Bulliphant, you great lout, you! what in the name of massy sakes are you about? No fire! no wood! no water in! How, in all created natur, do you s'pose a woman can get dinner? Furi_a_tion alive, why don't you speak? Sally Ann! I say, Sally _Ann_! come right here this minute! Go down cellar, and get a jug of butter, some milk, and then--I say, Sally Ann!--do you hear me, Sally Ann?--go out to the barn and--run! run! you careless hussy, to the stove! the pot's boiling over!
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in Puddleford; and no man could sustain a reputation who presumed to appeal from his decisions. He settled accounts, difficulties of all sorts, and even established land-titles; but of all things, he prided himself upon his knowledge of constitutional questions. The Squire always maintained that hard drinking was
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the Constitution of the United States,
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he said,
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Judge Story once informed him by letter when he applied to him for aid in solving this question.
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There is no such thing as slander, the Squire used to say,
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(This looked rather bad for
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Filkins's case.) Sometimes Squire Longbow rendered judgments, sometimes decrees, and sometimes he divided the cause between both parties. The Squire said he
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Pre-_ce_-dents , as they were called, he wouldn't mind, not even his own; because then there wouldn't be any room left for a man to change his mind.
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If, said the Squire,
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Contempt of court, the Squire often declared,
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Generally, the Squire says,
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because he never issues a process without hearing his story, and determining the merits.
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And don't the plaintiff know more about his rights than all the witnesses in the world?
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And even where he has a jury, the Squire says,
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Philista Filkins!
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Charity Beadle!
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Here, cried a backwoods pettifogger,
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I'm for Philista Filkins; am always on hand at the tap of the drum, like a thousand of brick.