human
You are not in a hurry?
gpt
Oh no.
human
You're going to spend the evening with me like a good man? Then I'll ask them to let us have tea. She rang the bell and Ruby came in, and the tea was ordered.
gpt
That young lady tells me that you are an old friend of hers.
human
I've known about her down in the country, and was astonished to find her here yesterday.
gpt
There's some lover, isn't there;--some would-be husband whom she does not like?
human
And some won't-be husband, I fear, whom she does like.
gpt
That's quite of course, if the other is true. Miss Ruby isn't the girl to have come to her time of life without a preference. The natural liking of a young woman for a man in a station above her, because he is softer and cleaner and has better parts of speech,--just as we keep a pretty dog if we keep a dog at all,--is one of the evils of the inequality of mankind. The girl is content with the love without having the love justified, because the object is more desirable. She can only have her love justified with an object less desirable. If all men wore coats of the same fabric, and had to share the soil of the work of the world equally between them, that evil would come to an end. A woman here and there might go wrong from fantasy and diseased passions, but the ever-existing temptation to go wrong would be at an end.
human
If men were equal to-morrow and all wore the same coats, they would wear different coats the next day.
gpt
Slightly different. But there would be no more purple and fine linen, and no more blue woad. It isn't to be done in a day of course, nor yet in a century,--nor in a decade of centuries; but every human being who looks into it honestly will see that his efforts should be made in that direction. I remember; you never take sugar; give me that.
human
Thanks, he said, changing his cup.
gpt
How well you remember!
human
Do you think I shall ever forget your preferences and dislikings? Do you recollect telling me about that blue scarf of mine, that I should never wear blue?
gpt
Of course I do. Black is your colour;--black and grey; or white,--and perhaps yellow when you choose to be gorgeous; crimson possibly. But not blue or green.
human
I never thought much of it before, but I have taken your word for gospel. It is very good to have an eye for such things,--as you have, Paul. But I fancy that taste comes with, or at any rate forbodes, an effete civilisation.
gpt
I am sorry that mine should be effete,
human
You know what I mean, Paul. I speak of nations, not individuals. Civilisation was becoming effete, or at any rate men were, in the time of the great painters; but Savanarola and Galileo were individuals. You should throw your lot in with a new people. This railway to Mexico gives you the chance.
gpt
Are the Mexicans a new people?
human
They who will rule the Mexicans are. All American women I dare say have bad taste in gowns,--and so the vain ones and rich ones send to Paris for their finery; but I think our taste in men is generally good. We like our philosophers; we like our poets; we like our genuine workmen;--but we love our heroes. I would have you a hero, Paul. He got up from his chair and walked about the room in an agony of despair. To be told that he was expected to be a hero at the very moment in his life in which he felt more devoid of heroism, more thoroughly given up to cowardice than he had ever been before, was not to be endured! And yet, with what utmost stretch of courage,--even though he were willing to devote himself certainly and instantly to the worst fate that he had pictured to himself,--could he immediately rush away from these abstract speculations, encumbered as they were with personal flattery, into his own most unpleasant, most tragic matter! It was the unfitness that deterred him and not the possible tragedy. Nevertheless, through it all, he was sure,--nearly sure,--that she was playing her game, and playing it in direct antagonism to the game which she knew that he wanted to play. Would it not be better that he should go away and write another letter? In a letter he could at any rate say what he had to say;--and having said it he would then strengthen himself to adhere to it.
gpt
What makes you so uneasy? she asked; still speaking in her most winning way, caressing him with the tones of her voice.
human
Do you not like me to say that I would have you be a hero?
gpt
Winifrid, he said,
human
I came here with a purpose, and I had better carry it out.
gpt
What purpose? She still leaned forward, but now supported her face on her two hands with her elbows resting on her knees, looking at him intently. But one would have said that there was only love in her eyes;--love which might be disappointed, but still love. The wild cat, if there, was all within, still hidden from sight. Paul stood with his hands on the back of a chair, propping himself up and trying to find fitting words for the occasion.
human
Stop, my dear, she said.
gpt
Must the purpose be told to-night?
human
Why not to-night?
gpt
Paul, I am not well;--I am weak now. I am a coward. You do not know the delight to me of having a few words of pleasant talk to an old friend after the desolation of the last weeks. Mrs. Pipkin is not very charming. Even her baby cannot supply all the social wants of my life. I had intended that everything should be sweet to-night. Oh, Paul, if it was your purpose to tell me of your love, to assure me that you are still my dear, dear friend, to speak with hope of future days, or with pleasure of those that are past,--then carry out your purpose. But if it be cruel, or harsh, or painful; if you had come to speak daggers;--then drop your purpose for to-night. Try and think what my solitude must have been to me, and let me have one hour of comfort.
human
I will not harass you, if you are ill,
gpt
I am ill. It was because I was afraid that I should be really ill that I went to Southend. The weather is hot, though of course the sun here is not as we have it. But the air is heavy,--what Mrs. Pipkin calls muggy. I was thinking if I were to go somewhere for a week, it would do me good. Where had I better go? Paul suggested Brighton.
human
That is full of people; is it not?--a fashionable place?
gpt
Not at this time of the year.
human
But it is a big place. I want some little place that would be pretty. You could take me down; could you not? Not very far, you know;--not that any place can be very far from here. Paul, in his John Bull displeasure, suggested Penzance, telling her, untruly, that it would take twenty-four hours.
gpt
Not Penzance then, which I know is your very Ultima Thule;--not Penzance, nor yet Orkney. Is there no other place,--except Southend?
human
There is Cromer in Norfolk,--perhaps ten hours.
gpt
Is Cromer by the sea?
human
Yes;--what we call the sea.
gpt
I mean really the sea, Paul?
human
If you start from Cromer right away, a hundred miles would perhaps take you across to Holland. A ditch of that kind wouldn't do perhaps.
gpt
Ah,--now I see you are laughing at me. Is Cromer pretty?
human
Well, yes;--I think it is. I was there once, but I don't remember much. There's Ramsgate.
gpt
Mrs. Pipkin told me of Ramsgate. I don't think I should like Ramsgate.
human
There's the Isle of Wight. The Isle of Wight is very pretty.
gpt
That's the Queen's place. There would not be room for her and me too.
human
Or Lowestoft. Lowestoft is not so far as Cromer, and there is a railway all the distance.
gpt
And sea?
human
Sea enough for anything. If you can't see across it, and if there are waves, and wind enough to knock you down, and shipwrecks every other day, I don't see why a hundred miles isn't as good as a thousand.
gpt
A hundred miles is just as good as a thousand. But, Paul, at Southend it isn't a hundred miles across to the other side of the river. You must admit that. But you will be a better guide than Mrs. Pipkin. You would not have taken me to Southend when I expressed a wish for the ocean;--would you? Let it be Lowestoft. Is there an hotel?
human
A small little place.
gpt
Very small? uncomfortably small? But almost any place would do for me.
human
They make up, I believe, about a hundred beds; but in the States it would be very small.
gpt
Paul, said she, delighted to have brought him back to this humour,
human
Then she rose up and came to him, and took his arm.
gpt
You will take me down, will you not? It is desolate for a woman to go into such a place all alone. I will not ask you to stay. And I can return by myself. She had put both hands on one arm, and turned herself round, and looked into his face.
human
You will do that for old acquaintance sake? For a moment or two he made no answer, and his face was troubled, and his brow was black. He was endeavouring to think;--but he was only aware of his danger, and could see no way through it.
gpt
I don't think you will let me ask in vain for such a favour as that,
human
No; he replied.
gpt
I will take you down. When will you go?