human
I say, master Tom, don't you make too free with your betters,
gpt
Nay, replied the Dominie,
human
Very true, old gentleman, and I axes your pardon, and here's my hand upon it.
gpt
And so do I, sir, and here's my hand upon it,
human
Friend Dux, and thou, young Tom, I do willingly accept thy proffered reconciliation; knowing, as I well do, that there may be much mischief in thy composition, but naught of malice.
gpt
There, said old Tom,
human
I know not the author whom thou quotest from, good Dux.
gpt
Author!--I never said he was an author; he was only captain of a schooner, trading between the islands, that I sailed with a few weeks in the West Indies.
human
Perhaps, then, you will relate to the company present the circumstances which took place to put old Pegtop's--(I may not be correct in the name)--but whoever it may be--
gpt
Pigtown, master.
human
Well, then--that put old Pigtown's mind at ease--for I am marvellously amused with thy narrations, which do pass away the time most agreeably, good Dux.
gpt
With all my heart, old gentleman; but first let us fill up our tumblers. I don't know how it is, but it does appear to me that grog drinks better out of a glass than out of metal and if it wasn't that Tom is so careless--and the dog has no respect for crockery any more than persons--I would have one or two on board for particular service; but I'll think about that, and hear what the old woman has to say on the subject. Now to my yarn. D'ye see, old Pigtown commanded a little schooner, which plied between the isles, and he had been in her for a matter of forty years, and was as well-known as Port Royal Tom.
human
Who might Port Royal Tom be? inquired the Dominie;
gpt
I hope not, master, for I wanted none of his acquaintance; he was a shark about twenty feet long who rode guard in the harbour, to prevent the men-of-war's men from deserting, and was pensioned by government.
human
Pensioned by government! nay, but that soundeth strangely. I have heard that pensions have been most lavishly bestowed, but not that it extended so far. Truly it must have been a _sinecure_.
gpt
I don't know what that last may be, replied old Tom,
human
Well, observed old Stapleton,
gpt
I agrees with old Poptown, or whatever his name might be, that it were better to know the worst at once than to be kept on the worry all your days; I consider it's nothing but human natur'. Why, if one has a bad tooth, which is the best plan, to have it out with one good wrench, or to be eternally tormented, night and day.
human
Thou speakest wisely, friend Stapleton, and like a man of resolve--the anticipation is often, if not always, more painful than the reality. Thou knowest, Jacob, how often I have allowed a boy to remain unbuttoned in the centre of the room for an hour previous to the application of the birch--and it was with the consideration that the impression would be greater upon his mind than even upon his nether parts. All of the feelings in the human breast, that of suspense is--
gpt
Worse than _hanging_,
human
Even so, boy [_cluck, cluck_], an apt comparison, seeing that in suspense you are hanging, as it were, in the very region of doubt, without being able to obtain a footing even upon conjecture. Nay, we may further add another simile, although not so well borne out, which is, that the agony of suspense doth stop the breath of a man for the time, as hanging doth stop it altogether, so that it may be truly said, that suspense is put an end to by suspending.
gpt
And now that you've got rid of all that, master, suppose you fill up your pipe,
human
And I will fill up your tumbler, sir, said Mary;