human
This must be done at once. The reading of the little pocket testament began anew, and the thought was awakened to pray for self; when suddenly there came to mind the forgotten covenant of seven years ago,
gpt
I will be a Christian _after_ I become a lawyer.
human
Taken on your own terms, as you cannot be a lawyer, you cannot be a Christian. Total physical and mental weakness could not cope with this mental suggestion. The reflections that followed led to feelings of utter despair. Thus he soliloquized,
gpt
In the day of my strength I said 'No' to God; now, in the hour of my weakness, he will not hear me. He knows that from fear and not from sincerity I now seek to pray. Hypocritical prayer will but add insult to injury. I must not pray. These confused reasonings were largely due to an anemic brain and mental temptation. The weakened mind accepted a lie in place of the invigorating truth that
human
Eternity seemed to open its portals to a realm of darkness into which the soul was being forced by the stress of its own past decision, while high over these gates enthroned in light appeared the radiant form of the Son of God. While this Personage seemed unspeakably lovely and
gpt
the soliloquizer said,
human
He has been denied, he is lost to me. These cogitations filled the waking and sleeping hours of several nights. With a sense of woe unutterable the decision of doom was accepted. The sensations of a lost soul seemed to be real. Words are entirely inadequate to express the sense of eternal, irremediable loss by which the heart was oppressed. This exhaustive strain could not long continue. The evening of a day of unusually oppressive heat presaged the end. Vividly the thought stood before the mind,
gpt
This is my last night on earth.