human
Well, by thunder! exclaimed the captain, when he recovered his breath;
gpt
Sam! exclaimed Fred, springing to his feet,
human
Good! said the captain, without exhibiting any signs of trepidation.
gpt
Not any, said Fred, resuming his chair;
human
Look here, now, young man, said the captain,
gpt
That's all nonsense, said Fred.
human
You get trade because you run your boat on time, charge fair prices, and deliver your freight in good order. Who gives you business because you drink and treat?
gpt
said he;
human
And you've been married for five years, said Fred, with a sudden sense of help at hand.
gpt
How do you suppose _your_ wife feels?
human
Oh! she's used to it; she doesn't mind it.
gpt
You're the only person in town that thinks so, Sam,
human
Well, between old friends, Fred, I don't think so very strongly myself. Hang it! I wish I'd been brought up a preacher, or something of the kind, so I wouldn't have had business ruining my chances of being the right sort of a family man. Emily _don't_ like my drinking, and I've promised to look up some other business; but 'tisn't easy to get out of steamboating when you've got a good boat and a first-rate trade. Once she felt so awfully about it that I _did_ swear off--don't tell anybody, for God's sake! but I did. I had to look out for my character along the river, though; so I swore off on the sly, and played sick. I'd give my orders to the mates and clerks from my bed in here, and then I'd lock myself in, and read novels and the Bible to keep from thinking. 'Twas awful dry work all around; but 'whole hog or none' is _my_ style, you know. There was fun in it, though, to think of doing something that no other captain on the river ever did. But thunder! by the time night came, I was so tired of loafing that I wrapped a blanket around my head and shoulders, like a Hoosier, sneaked out the outer door here, and walked the guards, between towns; but I was so frightened for fear some one would know me that the walk did me more harm than good. And blue! why a whole cargo of indigo would have looked like a snowstorm alongside of my feelings the second day; 'pon my word, Fred, I caught myself crying in the afternoon, just before dark, and I couldn't find out what for, either. I tell _you_ I was scared, and things got worse as time spun along; the dreams I had that night made me howl, and I felt worse yet when daylight came along again. Toward the next night I was just afraid to go to sleep; so I made up my mind to get well, go on duty, and dodge everybody that it seemed I ought to drink with. Why, the Lord bless your soul! the first time we shoved off from a town I walked up to the bar just as I always did after leaving towns; the barkeeper set out my particular bottle naturally enough, knowing nothing about my little game; I poured my couple of fingers, and dropped it down as innocent as a lamb before I knew what I was doing. By George! my boy, 'twas like-opening the lock-gates; I was just heavenly gay before morning. There was one good thing about it, though--I never told Emily I was going to swear off; I was going to surprise her, so I had the disappointment all to myself. Maybe she isn't as happy as your wife; but whatever else I've done, or not done, I've never lied to her.
gpt
It's a pity you hadn't promised _her_ then, before you tried your experiment,
human
I guess not; why, I'd have either killed somebody or killed myself if I'd gone on a day or two longer. I s'pose I'd have got along better if I'd had anybody to keep me company, or reason with me like a schoolmaster; but I hadn't. I didn't know anybody that I dared trust with a secret like that.
gpt
You? why you're one of the very fellows I dodged! Just as I got aboard the boat--I came down late, on purpose--I saw you out aft. I tell you, I was under my blankets, with a towel wrapped around my jaw, in about one minute, and was just _a-praying_ that you hadn't seen me come aboard.