human
Is that a smell of soot? he said.
gpt
Does the chimney need sweeping, Mrs. Trenchard?
human
There now! exclaimed the farmer’s wife, a comfortable-looking matron some years younger than her husband.
gpt
If I didn’t say to Trenchard I was sure the noses of you London gentlemen would find it out! Us country bodies don’t notice it, bless you.
human
the good woman went on;
gpt
And takes away my appetite, said Eves, with his mouth half full of bacon.
human
Look here, Mrs. Trenchard, you’re going to market to-morrow morning; why shouldn’t we sweep the chimney for you while you’re away? I’m sure Templeton and I could do it, and we’d like to, awfully.
gpt
Oh, that’s nothing. We get dirty enough on the farm.
human
But that be clean dirt, not like the bothersome sut. Besides, there’s no chimney brush and no rods.
gpt
Quite unnecessary, declared Eves.
human
Templeton has invented a new way of sweeping chimneys, haven’t you, Bob? He gave him a kick under the table.
gpt
You’ve no idea what a lot of useful notions he’s got in his head.
human
Well now, did you ever? said Mrs. Trenchard.
gpt
Do ’ee tell me all about it, Mr. Templeton.
human
To-morrow, Mrs. Trenchard, said Eves, hastily.
gpt
You see, it’s quite new, and hasn’t been properly tried yet. An inventor never likes to talk about his inventions until he’s proved they’re a success.
human
Ay sure; he’s in the right there,
gpt
I knew you’d agree, said Eves.
human
Well, then, we’ve settled that we sweep the chimney while you’re out, Mrs. Trenchard, and we’ll tell you all about it when you get back. You’ll be delighted, I assure you.
gpt
Look here, old man, it isn’t right, you know. You know very well I have not invented a way of——
human
Hold hard! You don’t mean to tell me you haven’t got it all cut and dried?
gpt
Well, when you began gassing, of course I had to think of something to save my face.
human
I knew it! The idea was there; it only wanted switching on, like electricity. What’s the scheme?
gpt
Still, I don’t think you ought——
human
The scheme! Out with it.
gpt
Well, I thought we might get on the roof with a long cord, with weights and a bundle of straw tied to one end, and jerk it up and down inside the chimney.
human
And the soot falls, and great is the fall of it! Splendid! Couldn’t be better. We’ll have a ripping day to-morrow.