human
Oh, I keep him employed, copying scraps of old blue books, you know, and that sort of thing. Might be useful some day.
gpt
You must find life monotonous.
human
Ah, yes. Such a change from Pernambuco. No casino, no theatre. The theatre at Pernambuco was delightful. This, you know, is one of our quietest posts. Even Archangel, where I was Vice-Consul twenty-three years ago, was a lot more lively. But I do not complain. The climate is good, the salary tolerable--_poli kala_, as I learnt to say in Patras.
gpt
You have travelled, sir,
human
Oh, one knocks about a bit and sees things in the Service. Hallo!
gpt
Let him wait,
human
Perhaps, hazarded Norman,
gpt
Certainly. But you need not hurry at all. It's only Dr Sforelli come for his game of chess. You know him perhaps? You have heard of him only?... Yes, the report was correct; he is one of the ablest men in Alsander. His father's name was Cohen, by the way.
human
Cohen Sforelli?
gpt
Just Cohen, said the Consul.
human
Are you an Anti-Semite?
gpt
I never thought about it, said Norman, determined that he would begin his tale at all costs.
human
But I am Anti-Alsandrian at present.
gpt
Been trying to sell something? Hallo, there! Let him wait. Only Olivarbo. You know Count Olivarbo? For an Alsandrian, a man of some ability.
human
I hope he has not rung you up on urgent business.
gpt
Oh, dear no. I am teaching him golf. Of course, I am a little handicapped --he glanced pathetically at his limp member--
human
Well, sir, if you don't mind, my business is rather serious, and I should like to come straight to the point. And to begin with, I should like to ask you whether you have heard of the Alsander Advancement Association.
gpt
Never. Is it a co-operative store?
human
No, it purports to be a secret society, for the object--well, I don't know for what object.
gpt
Of advancing Alsander?
human
I suppose so. But it seems to be really a conspirators' club to play bad practical jokes on innocent strangers. I was entrapped by one of its members.
gpt
This is very interesting, very interesting, indeed. I may have to take a note of this. Hallo. Who's that? My dear Cocasso, I really can't this afternoon. I am being consulted on important business. Look up Cassolis, he plays. My dear sir --this to Norman--
human
I was entrapped. The society sat in state and pretended to examine me for the position of King of Alsander.
gpt
Well, well, why not? I was examined to become Vice-Consul. We must all be examined, you know.
human
Yes, but that was not all. I was stripped and mauled about by a fool who pretended to be a doctor.
gpt
Stripped? Dear me! Stripped naked?
human
Yes, but worse was in store for me. Because I demanded an apology for their nonsense, I was beaten.
gpt
Beaten? Dear me! Beaten with a stick? Gracious heavens! Very extraordinary! I must make a note of that. And what would you like me to do?
human
Why, what do you usually do when a British subject is stripped and beaten by a lot of dirty Dagoes?
gpt
I do not remember such an occurrence; so I have no precedent for dealing with this case. British subjects do not usually expose themselves, you see, to such odd adventures.
human
Do understand that it is serious, sir, pursued Norman, whose fury had been gradually mounting in face of this official apathy.
gpt
What's the good of being an Englishman if one can't travel unmolested? What's the good of all those Dreadnoughts? What are they wasting coal in the North Sea for? Why don't they come here?
human
I must remind you, said the Consul, severely,
gpt
Do I look it?
human
Perhaps there are light-haired Siamese mountaineers who have learnt English from Indian friends. '_Quien Sabe_?' as we said at Barcelona.
gpt
It is a shame, sir--you are fooling me!
human
Have you only just found that out?
gpt
I shall write to the _Times_,
human
My brother, said the Consul, with a smile,
gpt
--here the Consul rose and his tone grew severer still--
human
Half-truths!
gpt
What about the jewelled buckle that was presented to you by the society?
human
Why, I had forgotten about it.
gpt
And--a much more serious matter--what about the injunction to silence which was laid on you by the President?
human
You did not let me finish my story. What do you know about the jewelled buckle? How do you know there was an injunction to silence?
gpt
That injunction to silence you had better have obeyed, sir. However, you may rely on my discretion. If you insist on demanding reparation, I am bound to state your case before higher authorities, but I warn you you will get none, and you will endanger your life and perhaps mine. The present made to you was an ample reparation for your temporary inconvenience. I will give you a few minutes to consider the matter.
human
Come in,
gpt
Mr Norman Price. Signor Arnolfo,