human
I AM thinking, Morton, said my uncle,
gpt
Now, my dear Sir William, cried Lady Hasselton, who, it may be remembered, was the daughter of one of King Charles's Beauties, and who alone shared the breakfast-room with my uncle and myself,--
human
And his Countship, said I,
gpt
Come, that is bold for a gentleman of--let me see, thirteen--are you not?
human
Really, answered I,
gpt
Bravo! cried the knight, with a moistening eye;
human
I am lost in astonishment! said the lady, glancing towards the glass;
gpt
I have not the glass you want, but I carry with me a mirror that reflects your features much more faithfully.
human
How! I protest I do not understand you!
gpt
The mirror is here!
human
I have sworn, said I, fixing my eyes upon the lady,--
gpt
I have sworn never to be kissed, even by women. You must pardon me, Uncle.
human
I declare, cried the Lady Hasselton, flirting her fan, which was somewhat smaller than the screen that one puts into a great hall, in order to take off the discomfort of too large a room,--
gpt
I declare, Count, there is a vast deal of originality about you. But tell me, Sir William, where did your nephew acquire, at so early an age--eleven, you say, he is--such a fund of agreeable assurance?
human
Nay, Madam, let the boy answer for himself.
gpt
said I, playing with the ribbon of my cane,--
human
Hope, sir? said the Lady Hasselton, covering her face with her fan, so as only to leave me a glimpse of the farthest patch upon her left cheek,--
gpt
Yes, the hope of being pleasing to you. Suffer me to add that the hope has now become certainty.
human
Upon my word, Count--
gpt
Nay, you cannot deny it; if one can once succeed in impudence, one is irresistible.
human
Sir William, cried Lady Hasselton,
gpt
Cruel! and why?
human
You are too --the lady paused, and looked at me over her fan. She was really very handsome--
gpt
Pardon me, said I,
human
I /am/ nine,--a very mystical number nine is too, and represents the Muses, who, you know, were always attendant upon Venus--or you, which is the same thing; so you can no more dispense with my company than you can with that of the Graces.
gpt
Good morning, Sir William,
human
Well, Count, said she,
gpt
I am glad to see you have brought so much learning from school; make the best use of it while it lasts, for your memory will not furnish you with a single simile out of the mythology by the end of next winter.
human
That would be a pity, said I,
gpt
Oh, the young reprobate! said the beauty, tapping me with her fan.
human
And pray, what other deities besides Venus do I resemble?
gpt
All! said I,--
human
Bless me, the gods as well as the goddesses?
gpt
Certainly.
human
You jest: tell me how.
gpt
Nothing can be easier; you resemble Mercury because of your thefts.
human
Thefts!
gpt
Ay; stolen hearts, and, added I, in a whisper,
human
You are so destructive,
gpt
Exactly so; and because, added I--as I shut the door upon the beauty--
human
Ods fish, Morton, said my uncle,
gpt
Why, Uncle, you have explained the reason; it was exactly because she said I was dull that I was resolved to convict her in an untruth.
human
Well, now, there is some sense in that, boy; always contradict ill report by personal merit. But what think you of her ladyship? 'Gad, you know what old Bellair said of Emilia. 'Make much of her: she's one of the best of your acquaintance. I like her countenance and behaviour. Well, she has a modesty not i' this age, a-dad she has.' Applicable enough; eh, boy?
gpt
answered I, out of the same play, which by dint of long study I had got by heart.
human
But, to confess the truth, added I,
gpt
I think you might have left out the passage about her modesty.
human
There, now; you young chaps are so censorious; why, 'sdeath, sir, you don't think the worse of her virtue because of her wit?
gpt
Humph!
human
Ah, boy! when you are my age, you'll know that your demure cats are not the best; and that reminds me of a little story; shall I tell it you, child?
gpt
If it so please you, Sir.
human
Zauns--where's my snuff-box?--oh, here it is. Well, Sir, you shall have the whole thing, from beginning to end. Sedley and I were one day conversing together about women. Sid was a very deep fellow in that game: no passion you know; no love on his own side; nothing of the sort; all done by rule and compass; knew women as well as dice, and calculated the exact moment when his snares would catch them, according to the principles of geometry. D----d clever fellow, faith; but a confounded rascal: but let it go no further; mum's the word! must not slander the dead; and 'tis only my suspicion, you know, after all. Poor fellow: I don't think he was such a rascal; he gave a beggar an angel once,--well, boy, have a pinch?--Well, so I said to Sir Charles, 'I think you will lose the widow, after all,--'Gad I do.' 'Upon what principle of science, Sir William?' said he. 'Why, faith, man, she is so modest, you see, and has such a pretty way of blushing.' 'Hark ye, friend Devereux,' said Sir Charles, smoothing his collar and mincing his words musically, as he was wont to do,--'hark ye, friend Devereux, I will give you the whole experience of my life in one maxim: I can answer for its being new, and I think it is profound; and that maxim is--,' no, faith, Morton--no, I can't tell it thee: it is villanous, and then it's so desperately against all the sex.
gpt
My dear uncle, don't tantalize me so: pray tell it me; it shall be a secret.
human
No, boy, no: it will corrupt thee; besides, it will do poor Sid's memory no good. But, 'sdeath, it was a most wonderfully shrewd saying,--i' faith, it was. But, zounds, Morton, I forgot to tell you that I have had a letter from the Abbe to-day.
gpt
Ha! and when does he return?
human
To-morrow, God willing!
gpt
So soon, or rather after so long an absence! Well, I am glad of it. I wish much to see him before I leave you.
human
Indeed! quoth my uncle;
gpt
Why, the clergy of his faith have a habit of defending the strong and crushing the weak, I believe; that's all. He once thought I was dull enough to damn my fortune, and then he had some strange doubts for my soul; now he thinks me wise enough to become prosperous, and it is astonishing what a respect he has conceived for my principles.
human
Ha! ha! ha!--you have a spice of your uncle's humour in you; and, 'Gad, you have no small knowledge of the world, considering you have seen so little of it.
gpt
Why, Sir, answered the sage nephew,
human
Especially if one has a genius for it,--eh, boy? And then too, you have read my play; turned Horace's Satires into a lampoon upon the boys at school; been regularly to assizes during the vacation; attended the county balls, and been a most premature male coquette with the ladies. Ods fish, boy! it is quite curious to see how the young sparks of the present day get on with their lovemaking.
gpt
Especially if one has a genius for it,--eh, sir?
human
Besides, too, said my uncle, ironically,
gpt
Ay, and if the priests would communicate to their pupils their experience in frailty, as well as in virtue, how wise they would make us!
human
Ods fish! Morton, you are quite oracular. How got you that fancy of priests?--by observation in life already?
gpt
Ah, is it you? welcome!
human
It is your friend, said he,
gpt
Faith, Abbe, said I,
human
You are, said Montreuil, opening the case, and producing a sword. The light fell upon the hilt, and I drew back, dazzled with its lustre; it was covered with stones, apparently of the most costly value. Attached to the hilt was a label of purple velvet, on which, in letters of gold, was inscribed,
gpt
To the son of Marshal Devereux, the soldier of France, and the friend of Louis XIV.
human
It was from the King's own hand that I received this sword, and I have authority to inform you that if ever you wield it in the service of France it will be accompanied by a post worthy of your name.
gpt
The service of France! I repeated;
human
An enemy only to a /part/ of England! said the Abbe, emphatically;