human
It's pretty tough, said Mr. Perley,
gpt
I know it isn't. Well, this is the last time that loafer will play that trick on me. He thinks that because I have been easy with him in the past there is no end to my patience. I'll show him that he is making the mistake of his life.
human
Of course, you will discharge him?
gpt
You had better believe I will. A healthy sort of advance agent he is! Think of my bringing my company to a town of the importance of Boomville, to find that absolutely no advance work has been done, that my advance agent, to whom I pay a fancy salary, has not even showed his face in the town.
human
I suppose he has succumbed to his old complaint?
gpt
Of course; he is drunk beyond the shadow of a doubt, and may not show up again for a week. Well, when he does, he'll meet with a warm reception from me. We ought to have had an eight-hundred-dollar house to-night, and now we'll be lucky if we take in half that amount.
human
I don't expect we'll do as well as that. It wouldn't have made so much difference under ordinary circumstances, but, as luck will have it, they've got the strongest attraction of the season at the other house--the 'Crack of Doom' Company. You know that's a big puller everywhere.
gpt
Sure. They have a railway collision, a tank of real water, a buzz saw and two real lunatics in the insane asylum scene.
human
Yes, and their advance man has worked the show up in great shape here. According to him, the leading lady lost nine thousand dollars' worth of diamonds on her way here, and the soubrette is going to marry Chauncey Depew. And they give souvenirs to-night in honor of the five hundredth performance of the piece.
gpt
They've been giving that five hundredth performance in every town they've played in for the last month; and their souvenirs are not worth over fifty cents a gross.
human
All very true, but the public will have 'em. I hoped your advance man would have some taking counter-attraction.
gpt
So he did have, but---- Oh, well, it's no use talking about that. What's done can't be helped, but I won't be left in this way again. Where is the nearest telegraph office?
human
On the next block. What are you going to do?
gpt
Wire to New York for a new advance agent. I happen to know of an A1 man who is out of an engagement. There are two or three others after him, but I guess I can make it worth his while to go with me. I won't get left in this way again, you can bet your boots!
human
That's all right, growled Mr. Perley,
gpt
No, but we are joint sufferers in that, and we may as well grin and bear it.