human
Why not? she asked simply, though not without a certain bitterness with which she always spoke of her husband.
gpt
People with tastes in common seem to drift together whether you pair them or not.
human
He is less than nothing to me, she continued,
gpt
Your grapes, Alice. Everything here is yours. I haven’t spoken much about our difficulties--’our’ difficulties! The sweetness of the one word blots out the annoyance of the other. But you must know I shall never rest until you are installed here with all due splendor as mistress, not alone of the grapes, but of all you survey, for this is to be wholly and simply yours. And if I dare ask you now and here, Alice--you whose every breath is more to me than the thought of all other women--I want you to be my wife.
human
And I am the wife of another man--it is horrible.
gpt
Look at me.
human
I cannot look at you.
gpt
When you are free----
human
Free! Her voice rising in despair, fell again into despair.
gpt
I shall never be free.
human
You shall, and that speedily, Alice! She could imagine the blood surging into Kimberly’s neck and face as he spoke.
gpt
I am growing fearful that I cannot longer stand the thought of his being under the same roof with you.
human
He cannot even speak to me except before Annie.
gpt
I do not like it. I want it changed.
human
How can I change it?
gpt
We shall find a way, and that very soon, to arrange your divorce from him.
human
It is the one word, the one thought that crushes me. She turned toward him as if with a hard and quick resolve.
gpt
You know I am a Catholic, and you know I am ashamed to say it.
human
Ashamed?
gpt
I have disgraced my faith.
human
Nonsense, you are an ornament to any faith.
gpt
Do not say that! She spoke with despairing vehemence.
human
You don’t realize how grotesque it sounds. If what you say were true I should not be here.
gpt
I did not suppose myself such a moral leper that it would be unsafe for any one to talk to me. Other Catholics--and good ones--talk to me, and apparently without contamination.
human
It is only that _I_ have no right to. Now you are going to be angry with me.
gpt
God forbid! I misunderstood. And you are sensitive, dearest.
human
I am sensitive, she said reluctantly.
gpt
More than ever, perhaps, since I have ceased practising my religion.
human
But why have you ceased?
gpt
I could not help it.
human
Why could you not help it?
gpt
You ask terribly hard questions.
human
You must have wanted to give it up.
gpt
I did not want to. I was forced to.
human
Who could force you?
gpt
I could not live with my husband and practise it.
human
So much the more reason for quitting him, isn’t it?
gpt
Oh, I want to. I want to be free. If I only could.
human
Alice, you speak like one in despair. There is nothing to be so stirred about. You want to be free, I want you to be, you shall be. Don’t get excited over the matter of a divorce. Your eyes are like saucers at the thought. Why?
gpt
Only because for me it is the final disgrace--not to be separated from him--but to marry again with him alive! It means the last step for me. And the public scandal! What will they say of me, who knew me at home?
human
Alice, this is the wildest supersensitiveness. The whole world lives in divorced marriages. Public scandal? No one will ever hear of your divorce. The courts that grant your plea will attend to suppressing everything.
gpt
Not everything!
human
Why not? We abase them every day to so many worse things that their delicate gorges will not rise at a little favor like that.
gpt
What does the world say of you for doing such things?
human
I never ask. You know, of course, I never pay any attention to what the world says of anything I do. Why should I? It would be difficult for the world to despise me as much as I despise it. You don’t understand the world. All you need is my strength. I felt that from the very first--that if I could give you my strength the combination would be perfect. That is why I am so helplessly in love with you--my strength must be yours. I want to put you on a throne. Then I stand by, see?--and guard your majesty with a great club. And I can do it.
gpt
I believe you could,
human
Don’t worry over your religion. I will make you practise it. I will make a devotee of you.
gpt
Robert! Robert!
human
Do you know it is the first time my name has ever passed your lips?
gpt
Alice, I don’t believe you are as bad a Catholic as you think. I’ll tell you why. I have known Catholic women, and men, too, that have given up their religion. Understand, I know nothing about your religion, but I do know something about men and women. And when they begin elaborate explanations they think they deceive me. In matter of fact, they deceive only themselves. When they begin to talk about progress, freedom of thought, decay of dogmas, individual liberty and all that twaddle, and assume a distinctly high, intellectual attitude, even though I don’t know what they have given up, I know what they are assuming; I get their measure instantly. I’ve sometimes thought that when God calls us up to speak on judgment day He will say in the most amiable manner: ’Just tell your own story in your own way.’ And that our own stories, told in our own way, will be all the data He will need to go ahead on. Indeed, He would not always need divine prescience to see through them; in most cases mere human insight would be enough. Just listen to the ordinary story of the ordinary man and notice how out of his own mouth he condemns himself. I see that sort of posturing every day in weak-kneed men and women who want to enlist large sums of money to float magnificent schemes. Now you are honest with yourself and honest with me, and I see in this a vital difference.
human
Ah, Francis! exclaimed Imogene,
gpt
Not this time, Mrs. Kimberly.
human
Come now, confess. What were you doing?
gpt
I came out to see the beautiful illumination. It is very beautiful, is it not?
human
But that isn’t all, for when we came along you were looking at the sky.
gpt
Ah, the night is so clear--the stars are so strong to-night----
human
Go on.
gpt
I was thinking of Italy.
human
I never can catch Brother Francis, thinking of anything but Italy,
gpt
Who can blame him?
human
Or the hereafter,
gpt
I’m afraid he doesn’t find much sympathy here on that subject,
human
Don’t be mistaken, Nelson, said Kimberly,
gpt
Your rôle doesn’t seem altogether to your liking, Francis,
human
His rôle! Why, it’s paradise itself compared to mine,
gpt
I pray, Robert, he said,
human
But keep me in your eye, Francis. Don’t relax your efforts. A sugar man is liable to stumble and fall in while your back is turned.
gpt
We must get started for the lake, announced Imogene.
human
Brother Francis, we are all going down to see The Towers from the water. Will you come?
gpt
Having a good time?
human
Are you really having a good time? Kimberly asked.
gpt
I mean, do you care at all for this kind of thing?
human
Of course, I care for it. Who could help it? It is lovely. Where are we going?
gpt
Down the lake a mile or two; then the boats will return for the fireworks.
human
You don’t seem very lively yourself to-night. Are you bored?
gpt
No; only wondering whether you will go driving with me to-morrow.
human
I said I would not.
gpt
I hoped, of course, you might reconsider.
human
I don’t know how it is, she murmured,
gpt
If I do, it is only because I don’t try to.
human
I realize it; that is what puzzles me.
gpt
The real secret is, not that I wind you around my finger, but that you don’t want to hurt my feelings. I find something to wonder at, too. When I am with you--even when you are anywhere near me, I am totally different. Alone, I am capable of withdrawing wholly within myself. I am self-absorbed and concentrated. With you I am never wholly within myself. I am, seemingly, partly in your consciousness.
human
It is true, he persisted.
gpt
It is one of the consequences of love; to be drawn out of one’s self. I have it. He turned to her, questioningly,
human
Can you understand it?
gpt
I think so.
human
But do you ever feel it?
gpt
Sometimes.
human
Never, of course, for me?
gpt
Sometimes.
human
This is a courtship without any spring, said Dolly one night to her husband. They were discussing her brother and Alice.
gpt
At first it was all winter, now it is all summer.