human
Isn't it just as good as a geography book to hear him? he demanded several times.
gpt
To think of the natives of Yezo tattooing blue mustaches on the girl-babies to make sure they'll catch a husband! Ho, ho, that tickles me! There's a tip for Cousin Virginia, Joan.
human
The ice, remarked Nikolai to Joan,
gpt
I've always thought, mused Archie,
human
he finished with a happy glance at his wife,
gpt
I'm glad enough to be allowed to stay just where I am.
human
Who wouldn't be? murmured his guest.
gpt
With such a charming home--
human
You ought to have been here when my garden was growing, said Archie, highly gratified.
gpt
If I do say it myself, there's not a farmer in the State raises better bib-lettuce than I do. As for our asparagus--yum-yum! Simply melts in the mouth.
human
Was that also one of your earlier dreams--to be a farmer?
gpt
It's always seemed to me about the finest thing a man could do, if he were able to--live on the land as he was intended to, raise what he needs to eat and a little more for his friends; chickens and pigs and a cow, and perhaps a little blooded stock if he could manage it--
human
Why, dear, cried his wife, surprised,
gpt
I never suspected you of these bucolic ambitions!
human
I reckon most men have 'em, if they'll own up to it--don't they, Mr. Nikolai? Look how all boys love to dig in the dirt!... But you needn't worry, darlingest. I'm never going to take _you_ off and bury you in the country. I know better than that!
gpt
No, I must get back to the hotel and relieve Sacha's mind. If I do not he will certainly set out to find me, and as he has no language but Russian, that might lead to complications.
human
Who, demanded Joan,
gpt
It is Sacha who appears to have set me up. I had occasion once to do him a kindness, and he thereupon attached himself permanently to my person. There is no creature on earth so grateful as a grateful Russian.
human
Not a foot do you stir till you tell us all about it!
gpt
About what? Sacha? Well!--In a village where I stopped for awhile a young mouzhik had been very badly beaten and thrown into prison to await trial, and things promised to go rather badly with him. So--
human
Wait a minute. _Why_ had he been beaten?
gpt
For murder,
human
Only the murder was not successful, he continued,
gpt
Sacha was unfortunately interrupted before he had completed the job.
human
Unfortunately!
gpt
Yes. The headman of the village had taken Sacha's little sister against her will, and the boy did what he could to avenge her. The law is not of much use in such cases--to peasants, at least. The night before I left, some of his friends liberated him from the village jail, and brought him to me. Their trust in the power of learning is piteous. They demanded that I take him away with me to America. That was a little difficult without a passport, but I managed to smuggle him over the border.
human
How?
gpt
In my trunk, replied Nikolai, as if this were an everyday occurrence.
human
I had arranged with a carter to drive me and my luggage early the next day to the railroad. Instead, he drove me to the border, fortunately not very far distant. My luggage was almost smothered by the time we got there, however, despite the air-holes we had bored in the trunk. Poor Sacha!
gpt
But did nobody examine your luggage?
human
As I told you, in Russia there is great respect for learning--also for roubles. I am not without friends in high places. Such officials as I encountered quite understood that a man of learning like myself would naturally travel with a heavy trunkful of books, ventilated by air-holes--But I have been warned that it will not be safe for me to return to Russia. Thanks to this episode, in connection with recent writings of mine, I am no longer _persona grata_ there.
gpt
Whew! he commented.
human
That's what I call life! Sounds like Michael What's-his-name, the Courier of the Czar!
gpt
I assure you, murmured Nikolai,