human
I mean a human being who likes killing things,
gpt
I killed a wasp yesterday, said the voice;
human
Yes, and you remembered it to-day, said Lady Conybeare briskly.
gpt
You did not really kill it; it lives in your memory, and--and poisons your life. In time it will kill you. Do you suppose Jack remembers the grouse he killed yesterday?
human
Oh, but Jack is like the oldest inhabitant, said Lady Haslemere.
gpt
He never remembers anything, just as the oldest inhabitant never remembers a flood or a thunderstorm or a famine at all like the one in question. That means they don't remember anything at all, for one famine is just like another; so are thunderstorms.
human
No; forgetfulness is not characteristic of Jack, she said,
gpt
It is true I make a point of forgetting unpleasant things, he said;
human
So do I, darling,
gpt
No, you don't; you only remind me to forget them. I forget the names and faces of uninteresting people. I forget--no, I don't forget that----
human
What don't you forget, Jack? demanded Kit with some sharpness.
gpt
I don't believe it.
human
I don't forget that we've got to dine in the City at half-past seven. Why ever there was such an hour as half-past seven to put into a Christian clock I can't conjecture,
gpt
Well, if you forget unpleasant things, and you don't forget that, perhaps it will be pleasant.
human
I am quite certain it will be infernal, said Jack.
gpt
Go and dress, Kit.
human
Oh, Jack! when will you learn that I cannot do what you ask if you talk to me in that way? she cried.
gpt
I was just going to dress. Now I can't, and we shall both be late, which will be very tiresome. You will curse and swear at me like St. Peter for keeping you waiting. How stupid you are, and how little you know me!
human
It is exactly three minutes to six, he said.
gpt
You needn't go for half an hour yet. There is loads of time--loads!
human
That's a dear boy, she said.
gpt
Gracious! it's past the half-hour! I must fly! Good-bye, Alice; Conybeare and I will look in on you after our dinner. I think you said you were going to have a nice round game with counters. Good-bye, Tom, and learn not to be a prude.
human
I'm sure you would teach me, if anybody could,
gpt
Thanks for the compliment, she said;
human
I reserve the less, then, said Tom.
gpt
I must go too. So Alice and Haslemere and I will see you to-night?
human
Yes; we'll escape as soon as we can from the dinner. Mind you take some money with you, Jack, for the round game. I must fly,
gpt
It is odd how you can tell a man by the hour at which he dines, he said.
human
Seven is an impossible hour, and the people who dine at seven are as impossible as the hour. People who dine at half-past are those who are trying to dine at eight and cannot manage it. They are also trying not to be impossible, and cannot.
gpt
I once knew a man who dined at ten minutes to eight, she said,
human
I don't know any archdeacons, said Tom, with a touch of wistfulness in his voice.
gpt
Introduce me to one to-night, Alice.
human
Archdeacons don't come to Berkeley Street,
gpt
Why not? How exclusive! Do they expect Berkeley Street to come to them?
human
Probably. They are trained to believe nothing which is not incredible. It is exactly that which makes them impossible.
gpt
Extremes meet, said Lord Conybeare.
human
The sceptic forces himself to believe everything that is perfectly credible. And he succeeds so well. Sceptics believe that they once ate nuts--we've all eaten nuts once--and are descended from apes. And how obvious is their genealogy from their faces! If I was going to be anything, it should not be a sceptic.
gpt
I must positively go,
human
Do, Alice! said Jack;
gpt
Come, Tom, she said.
human
We are not wanted. How deeply pathetic that is! They will want us some day, as the hangman said. Well, Jack, we shall see you later. I _am_ going.
gpt
Here is a rather smaller specimen, gentlemen, but much more highly finished, and very strong!