human
Give me the best morning paper you have, please.
gpt
The _Tribune_ costs the most, if that is the one you want.
human
The price will be no objection providing the paper contains what I wish to find.
gpt
You want work, I s'pose.
human
Yes, I am looking for employment.
gpt
I knew it--just in from the country too, said the newsboy, comically.
human
Well, what you want is the _Herald_ or _World_. They are just loaded with wants.
gpt
Thank you, you may give me both.
human
Both! Whew, you must be well fixed!
gpt
What does that mean?
human
You don't know what well fixed means? You must have come from way back! Why it means--it means that you're solid, that you've got the stuff, don't you see?
gpt
I'm solid enough for a boy of my age, if that is the idea,
human
Shucks! That ain't the idea at all, said the street boy, in a tone that seemed apologetic.
gpt
What I mean is that you're a kind of boodle alderman--you're rich. Do you see now?
human
Oh! That's it. Well, you see, I didn't know what you meant. I never heard those terms up in Vermont. No; I'm not rich, but on the contrary have so little money that I must commence work at once.
gpt
And that is why you bought two papers, so you can take in the whole business. You've got a big head, Vermont, any way, and would do stunnin' on mornin' papers.
human
Thank you. Do you mean at selling them?
gpt
Yes, of course. You wouldn't give 'em away, would you?
human
Well, no, I should not be inclined to do so.
gpt
That sounds more like it. Perhaps I'll give you a job, if you can't find anything else.
human
Thank you, I may be very glad to get a chance to sell papers even.
gpt
I am very much obliged to you, but I had my breakfast soon after leaving the boat.
human
And I bet they done you up on the price. I tell you what it is, it takes a fellow a good while to learn to live in this city. You don't know nothin' about what it costs. Why I know a plenty of boys that spend more--yes, I'd say so, twice as much as what I do, and they don't throw no style into their livin' either. You see they don't know how and hain't got no taste, any way. But I like your looks, Vermont, and ef you want any points--and you're liable to want 'em in this city, I'll bet you--why you just call on me and I'll fix you out in big shape.
gpt
YOU EVIDENTLY KNOW ALL ABOUT PROPRIETY, SO HERE IS MY HAND,
human
Thank you, sincerely, said the Green Mountain lad, a broad smile playing over his fine face, as he regarded the drollery of his new acquaintance.
gpt
I shall need many suggestions, no doubt, for I feel almost lost in this great city. I had no idea it was so large. I was never here before, and do not know where to go for a room or meals.
human
So I thought, and that's why I offered to put you into the right track. My name is Bob Hunter--I hain't got no business cards yet, but all the boys knows me, and my place of business is right round here in City Hall Park. You'll find me here 'most any time durin' business hours.
gpt
Bob Hunter! Well, you may be sure I shall remember your name and place of business, for I want to see you again. But what are your business hours?
human
Oh, yes; I forgot that. Everybody must have business hours, of course. Well, say from five to ten in the mornin', and three to eight in the afternoon, you can find me in.
gpt
In! You mean _out_, don't you--out here?
human
Shucks! don't be so schoolmastery. Everybody in business says _in_. I guess I know what's proper!
gpt
All right, Bob Hunter, I'll give it up. You know all about propriety in New York, and I know nothing of it, so here is my hand. I'll say good by till tonight, when I will call upon you again. I must look over these papers now, and hunt for a situation.
human
I hope you'll have luck, and get a bang up place. I'll be _in_ when you call tonight; and if you hain't no objections, I'd like to know your name. It would be more handy to do business, you see. How could my clerks announce you so I'd know you, if I don't know your name? You see, I might think it was some one that wanted to collect a bill, continued Bob, dryly,
gpt
My name is Herbert Randolph,
human
Herbert Randolph! that's a tony name--some old fellow I read about in school was called Randolph; most likely he was some of your relations.