human
Good gracious! exclaimed Mr. Toosypegs, in a distracted tone, nearly driven out of his senses by this harangue.
gpt
Oh, land of hope! was a fellow that never done nothing to nobody ever talked to like this before? By granny! it's enough to make a fellow get as mad as anything; so it is! Why, Miss Pet, I haven't done anything improper--I wouldn't for any price; upon my word and honor, I wouldn't. I've fell in love with--a--with--a young lady, and I don't see where's the harm of it. It's unkind of you, Miss Pet, to speak so, and I don't see what I've ever done to deserve it. You mean real well, I'm sure, but it makes a fellow feel bad to be talked to in this way all the time,
human
Well, there, don't cry, Orlando, said Pet, soothingly,
gpt
Miss Pet, excuse me, but I--I'd rather not tell, if it's all the same,
human
Oh, fool! tell me, as a friend, you know. Won't ever mention it again, so help me! Do I know her?
gpt
Ye--yes, Miss Pet, slightly.
human
Hem! It isn't Annie Grove?
gpt
No, Miss Pet--why, she's forty years old, if she's a day,
human
Yes, I know--twenty-five, she says; but she's been that as far back as the oldest inhabitant can remember. Well, then, Jessie Masters?
gpt
Miss Pet, allow me to say I ain't in the habit of falling in love with women with wooden legs,
human
Well, I didn't know; it's cheaper, in shoe-leather, especially. Hem-m-m! Perhaps it's Mrs. Jenkins?
gpt
Mrs. Jenkins! a widow! No, Miss Pet, it ain't. I should think you might know I don't like second-hand women,
human
Well, who the mischief can it be then! It must be Huldah Rice.
gpt
A little stout thing, with--with a hump, and cross-eyes? Miss Pet, it ain't!
human
Not her, either? then I give up. Who is it, Orlando?
gpt
Miss Pet, I don't like to tell--you'll laugh at me,
human
Laugh! No, I won't; honor bright! I'll look as grim as a death's-head and cross-bones! Now then, out with it!
gpt
Miss Pet, it's--it's--
human
Yes--well?
gpt
It's--
human
Well?
gpt
It's _you_,
human
Me! O ye gods and goddesses, without skirts or bodices! Me! Great Jehosaphat! I'll know what it feels like to be unexpectedly struck by a cannon-ball, after this! Me! Well, I never!
gpt
Miss Pet, I knew you would laugh; I knew it all along, and I told him so this morning, said Mr. Toosypegs, with a sniffle;
human
Laugh! exclaimed Pet;
gpt
Then, Miss Pet, perhaps you will have me, said Mr. Toosypegs, with sudden hope.
human
Miss Pet, I can't begin to tell you the way I love you; you can't have any idea of it; it goes right through and through me. I think of you all day, and I dream about you all night. I'm in the most dreadful way about you, ever was. Miss Pet, I'd do anything you told me to. I'd go and drown myself if you wanted me to, or shoot myself, or take ratsbane, and rather like it than otherwise, if you'll only have me, Miss Pet--
gpt
Orlando, I'm very sorry; but--I can't.
human
Miss Pet, you don't mean it; you can't mean it, surely. I know I ain't so good-looking as some, said Mr. Toosypegs, in a melancholy tone;
gpt
Now, don't go to any such trouble for me, said Pet, with difficulty keeping from laughing at his mildly-anguished look.
human
I don't mind the freckles at all; I rather like them, in fact; they vary the monotony of the complexion, just as oases do in the deserts we read of; and as for being thin--well, I'm rather on the hatchet-pattern myself, you know. But you must quit thinking about me, Orlando, because I'm only a wild little Tomboy, that everybody gets furious about, and I never intend to get married at all--that is, unless--well, never mind.
gpt
Miss Pet, if you only knew how badly in love I am.
human
Oh, you only think so; you'll forget me in a week!
gpt
I'll never forget you, Miss Pet, never--not even if I was to be taken out of this world altogether, and sent up to New Jersey. It's awful to think you won't have me--it really is,
human
Well, I'm sorry, Orlando, but I can't help it, you know. Now be a good boy for my sake, and try to forget me--won't you?
gpt
I'll try to, Miss Pet, since you wish it, said poor Mr. Toosypegs, with tears in his eyes;
human
Oh, now, Orlando, you mustn't feel bad about it, because it won't amount to anything, said Pet, in a consoling tone;
gpt
I'm sure I don't know, Miss Pet,
human
Well, then, that the gang of smugglers who have been for so long a time suspected of having a rendezvous around the coast somewhere, have been seen at last. Two or three of them were observed pulling off in a boat, the other night, and going on board a dark, suspicious-looking schooner, anchored down the bay. They are known to have a hiding-place somewhere around here, but the good folks of Judestown can't discover it, and consequently are in a state of mind at having such desperadoes near them. I am going to hunt all over the shore far and near myself, this very day, and see if my eyes are not sharper than those of the Judestown officials. Oh, I would love, of all things, to discover their hiding-place; perhaps my smartness wouldn't astonish the natives slightly.
gpt
But, good gracious, Miss Pet! if they get hold of you, said Mr. Toosypegs, his blood running chill with horror at the very idea;
human
If they did, said Pet,
gpt
To Dismal Hollow, or--no, I've got to go to the White Squall, first.
human
Very well; I won't detain you, then. I'm off to Judestown--good-by; remember me to uncle Harry.