human
Well?
gpt
Well.
human
I never lend money.
gpt
I suspected it, I replied;
human
I practically never borrow money, but that is my misfortune and not my fault.
gpt
Then what can I do for you?
human
You have a daughter----
gpt
I have,
human
I knew we should find a common basis of agreement. Miranda is unmarried; I am unmarried.
gpt
You suggest marrying my daughter?
human
I make no suggestion, but the idea had crossed my mind.
gpt
Can you keep a wife?
human
I never lost one yet. I think that with a little tact----
gpt
I mean, have you any money?
human
Eighteen shillings and fourpence,
gpt
That is not a very large capital on which to start married life.
human
True, but I'm not mercenary. Yet perhaps, as we seem to have drifted on to the question of money, I might mention that I have property--house property.
gpt
I don't believe much in house property in these days.
human
I don't either. Though I lay no particular stress on the matter, I also have some mortgages.
gpt
I don't care much about mortgages.
human
I agree with you. Beastly things, I call them.
gpt
What income do you derive from the property and the mortgages?
human
I don't exactly derive any income from either. You see, the two things go together--I mean the property and the mortgages. I don't fancy the mortgagees get much income from the property, though I suppose they try their best. Perhaps, strictly speaking, I can hardly call the property mine since the mortgagees took possession. The mortgages however are undoubtedly mine. I created them, you know.
gpt
I have some shares. I should like your opinion on them.
human
What kind of shares?
gpt
The usual kind--paper, but quite nice artistic designs on them.
human
In what companies?
gpt
I forget the names of the companies, but I think that they had something to do with rubber.
human
Then you can take my advice and sell them.
gpt
Thanks awfully, I said,
human
I will not buy your shares. But before I finally close this interview I should like to know, as a matter of curiosity, on what you live?
gpt
Meat and things, like other people. I'm no vegetarian.
human
I mean, how do you obtain food and clothes? I see that you do wear clothes. At present I'm a little puzzled.
gpt
It's a matter which has often puzzled me. I get them somehow. Sometimes I work and sometimes, but not very often, I get paid for my work. I believe that if I were married I could earn more.
human
What makes you think that?
gpt
Well, you see, I couldn't very well earn less.
human
Then am I to understand that you have practically no income?
gpt
If it comes to that, has Miranda any income?
human
My daughter will have what I choose to allow her.
gpt
And I shall have what I choose to earn, so it seems that we should be fairly well matched.
human
Sir, I consider your request to marry my daughter an impertinence, and the flippancy with which you have conducted this interview an insult.
gpt
Sir George, I said impressively,
human
I don't care how we part, so long as we do part. You will oblige me by not seeing or communicating with my daughter again.
gpt
Without making any rash promises, I will endeavour to oblige you. I gather, as much from your demeanour as anything else, that you do not favour me as a suitor for your daughter's hand. As a matter of fact, I look with equal disfavour on you as a possible father-in-law. My real object in seeking this interview was to remove any misapprehension you might have on the subject.