human
Oh, I'm sorry. I was far off indeed.
gpt
I know.
human
Thank you--this is very kind.... You are from one of the French islands, are you not?
gpt
Guadeloupe.
human
This must seem a cold foreign place to you.
gpt
Oh, I have been more than eight years in Boston, sir. It used to be, I must think in French and translate before I spoke--I do not do that now. Perhaps I do not look as old as I am.
human
I had thought you was near my age.
gpt
I am twenty-seven, Mr. Coree. I know it to the very day, because Monsieur Lafourche--of Lyons, who later settled at Guadeloupe--used often to say that I was born but two days after his other--after his daughter. He wished me bred up as maid and companion to her. I had lessons with the same teachers when we were little girls, even the reading and writing. I cannot read English with any comfort. She, the little Mademoiselle, she died at sixteen of a consumption. I think my presence hurt him with reminders of her. Clarissa's voice was passionless, cool and distant; Ben noticed his hands were no longer shaking.
human
Monsieur Lafourche his fortune was much impaired in the war of--of your King William's time. Then in 'ninety-eight, between the wars, he sold his plantation at Guadeloupe and returned to France, and so was obliged to let me go, to a merchant of Boston, who later sold me here. Where, she said mildly and remotely,
gpt
I have received much kindness.
human
Where--do you know where _Artemis_ is bound for?
gpt
Barbados, sir.
human
I see.... Clarissa, I cannot think of you as a slave.
gpt
But I am a slave.
human
Don't you know there's talk in these times that slavery itself is wrong? Why, Judge Samuel Sewall hath said it, written it too, and maybe not many will agree with him, but--but before God, I do,
gpt
One hears of it, she said gently,
human
Oh, why?
gpt
Perhaps because no one is ever wholly free.
human
Oh, don't put me off with philosophy! I understand you, but--that was not--well, my brother, and my Uncle John too--I have heard my Uncle John say he would never own a slave, for that the thing itself is wrong. And later I talked of it with my brother, he was most passionate, he said it was vile and contemptible that any man should pretend to possess the life of another, or be privileged to command it and drive it where he may please. My brother is strangely wise--younger but a better scholar than I, much wiser. Somehow I can't ever do anything without first wondering, how would he do it, what would he think of it? I lean on him too much--well, I suppose it's because we went through much together, and I love him so, and we--I don't know--I'm confused.
gpt
I am not so sure, she said, speaking into the light.
human
I think you have your own wisdom, Mr. Cory. Perhaps, if he be the quicker scholar, it is only that your brother can speak his thoughts more easily.
gpt
No, said Ben, and sighed shortly.
human
No, he's truly wise. I have alway known it, am even pleased it should be so. He hath chosen a most difficult life work, medicine. I have alway known he would go where I cannot.
gpt
You wished to sail with _Artemis_, did you not?
human
I did so.
gpt
Mistress Faith spoke of it a few days ago, when I was dressing her hair, and charged me hold it in confidence because, she said, she was not sure you were ready to discuss it with the Captain.
human
Yes, I wished to sail, and it seems to me--I don't know why I never saw it before--it seems to me the best reason I could have for learning my great-uncle's trade and making myself of some account in it, would be that then I could aid my brother. It must be difficult to be a doctor. No one seems to grant them much respect. Mr. Welland of Roxbury is a very learned man, Reuben tells me, and yet I never heard of anyone deferring to him. He lives more or less in poverty.
gpt
And still, said Clarissa, to the light--
human
Nay, I'm sure it's not, Ben said, and wondered whether it was wisdom he was searching for in the brandy glass, where half of the beautiful amber sparkled as yet untouched. He saw her then, with a more naked vision, as she stood in the light and shadow slight as a child and wholly a woman, in her feminine grace no longer alien. He rose with no thought for the action and entered the same sunlight.
gpt
Clarissa, there is more here than I should drink. Will you not share it?
human
I assure you, no red comb will pop.
gpt
Clarissa wailed, and slapped her thigh, and swayed toward him--sobering completely as Ben's arm went around her waist, but not drawing away, studying him a while with a dark and new sweet gravity, then at last taking the brandy glass, turning it about so that when she raised it the small mark left by his lips was covered by her own as she drained it. The glass dropped to the floor from her drooping hand; Ben felt she would not have cared if the lovely thing had broken, or perhaps she wished it to break, but it did not.
human
I have no French. Ben's fingers lost themselves in her dark sweet-smelling hair.
gpt
My dear, what art thou saying?--tell me.
human
Ah, little or nothing, Clarissa mumbled. She unfastened his shirt, her fingers swift and petulant, until she could rub her cheek over his bare skin; her mouth groped for his nipple and clung lightly a second with soft pressure of her teeth.
gpt
One hour, I think I said, one hour and then nothing more, because you will go away, because one hour given by chance is all we may have, _mais ton sourire_--but your smile I shall yet see, as I saw it first when you gave it to my little Charity there at the wharf, and I could look into you and know you, and my loins hurt me and my empty flesh, and my silly heart cried out I love you, I love you. Her hand sought for his wrist and clutched it hard. She spoke in a breathless tone like anger:
human
Come to my room!