human
If folks want to answer questions ther' ain't no need to ask 'em.
gpt
Just so. That's how it is with me--now. I want to tell you--what you've never asked. You'll see the reason presently.
human
That girl, the Padre went on, his gaze returning to a contemplation of the fire.
gpt
She's put me in mind of something. She's reminded me how full of twists and cranks life is. She's full of good. Full of good thoughts and ideals. Yet life seems to take a delight in impressing her with a burden so unwholesome as to come very nearly undoing all the good it has endowed her with. It seems queer. It seems devilish hard. But I generally notice the harder folk try in this world the heavier the cross they have to carry. Maybe it's the law of fitness. Maybe folks must bear a burden at their full capacity so that the result may be a greater refining. I've thought a lot lately. Sometimes I've thought it's better to sit around and--well, don't worry with anything outside three meals a day. That's been in weak moments. You see, we can't help our natures. If it's in us to do the best we know--well, we're just going to do it, and--and hang the result.
human
H'm.
gpt
I was thinking of things around here, the other went on.
human
I was wondering about the camp. It's a stinking hole now. It's full of everything--rotten. Yet they think it's one huge success, and they reckon we helped them to it.
gpt
How?
human
Why, by feeding them when they were starving, and so making it possible for them to hang on until Nature opened her treasure-house.
gpt
I see.
human
All I see is--perhaps through our efforts--we've turned loose a hell of drunkenness and debauchery upon earth. These people--perhaps through our efforts--have been driven along the very path we would rather have saved them from. The majority will end in disaster. Some have already done so. But for our help this would not have been.
gpt
They'd jest have starved.
human
We should not have sold our farm, and Ike and Pete would have been alive now.
gpt
In Ike's case it would have been a pity.
human
Yes, life's pretty twisted. It's always been the same with me. Wherever I've got busy trying to help those I had regard for I generally managed to find my efforts working out with a result I never reckoned on. That's why I am here.
gpt
I was hot-headed once, he went on presently.
human
I was so hot-headed that I--I insulted the woman I loved. I insulted her beyond forgiveness. You see, she didn't love me. She loved my greatest friend. Still, that's another story. It's the friend I want to talk about. He was a splendid fellow. A bright, impetuous gambler on the New York Stock Exchange. We were both on Wall Street. I was a gambler too. I was a lucky gambler, and he was an unlucky one. In spite of my love for the woman, who loved him, it was my one great desire to help him. My luck was such that I believed I could do it--my luck and my conceit. You see, next to the woman I loved he was everything in the world to me. Do you get that?