human
Stefan, how have I ever managed to live here so long without you?
gpt
And how shall you manage when I am gone again?
human
Gone--Why, Stefan, you're not thinking of going soon?
gpt
My book has made great progress here. It is a pleasant place for writing--I have nearly finished.
human
You said you were going to stay 'as long as possible.' And after all it was only to finish another book!
gpt
Not quite 'only,' Joan.
human
Then, she demanded impatiently,
gpt
What do you think?
human
Have you become such a gipsy that you can't stop anywhere more than a few months?
gpt
I wish, he said soberly,
human
And me beside thee singing in the wilderness? she smiled, as he did not continue.
gpt
Say you'd need me here somewhere, even if you were a tree!
human
Every tree has one bird who lives in its branches. I should keep a nest safe for you, my dear--you and your Archie. He broke off.
gpt
But I am not a tree, merely a Wandering Jew to whom the time must come again to wander.
human
But why, why? It is not as if you belonged anywhere else!
gpt
Nowhere else in the world, nor yet in Picardy,
human
I have always meant, when I grew old, to come to wherever you may be, and settle down, and grow up again with your children. But it seems the time is not yet. I am--not old.
gpt
You? of course not! You're not even fifty, are you?
human
No, he sighed,
gpt
I'd hate you to be all spirit, Stefan! Such an uncomfortable, unnatural person to play with: like one of those cherubim, with only wings and no _de quoi_ at all.--(You remember the miracle that happened once, when the Sistine Madonna said to the little angels in the picture with her, '_Assaiez-vous, mes enfants._' And they answered, '_Mais, Madame, nous n'avons pas de quoi!_'--) I never could understand people wanting to be old. She made a restless movement.
human
Perhaps you've had enough out of life to satisfy you, but me--Why, I feel as if I had not yet begun to live!
gpt
Nor have you,
human
she demanded, facing him.
gpt
Why don't I begin, then? Surely enough has happened to me, more than to most people. I fling myself into whatever comes along with all my heart. And yet--I don't seem to be there at all! It is as if the real me were looking on at somebody else who struggles and amuses herself and suffers. I'm tired of looking on, tired!
human
Who isn't? he said musingly.
gpt
We want to be in the thick of the fray, people like you and me, even if it kills us. But--we can't choose. A good deal is chosen for us before we're born--the color of our hair, the shapes of our noses (he smiled and sighed),
human
See here, Stefan, if you really are going when your book is finished, let's not waste any more time going about to silly parties and all that. You only do it to please me, and I only do it to show you off. Why should we pretend any longer?--Let's be together as much as we possibly can without bothering about anybody else! Shall we?
gpt
I mean, she continued calmly,
human
I shall not wish to.
gpt
I thought not! There's really nobody here you care about talking to except me, is there? And there's nobody in the world I'd willingly waste a word on if you were about. So there, that's settled! she said with a little breath of satisfaction.
human
It's a good thing you're old enough to be my father, Stefan, or I suppose people would begin to talk about us. Still, she added,
gpt
I'm glad you're not eighty!