human
What is it, darling?
gpt
The doctor! I have been longing to see him; I thought I was better, that he would be pleased with my progress, but it's no use--I can see it is no use! He has no hope. I shall be like this all my life. Babs, _think_ of it! I am twenty-three, and I may live until I am seventy-- upon this couch! Oh, I shall go mad--I am going mad--I can't bear it a moment longer. The last ten months have seemed like a life-time, but if it goes on year after year; oh, Babs, year after year until I am old--an old, old woman with grey hair and a wizened face, left alone, with no one to care for me! Oh, yes, yes, I know what you would say, but father and mother will be dead, and you will be married in a home of your own, and Spencer very likely at the other end of the world, and--
human
And Jim?
gpt
Ah, poor Jim! He must marry, too; it isn't fair to let him wreck his life. He does love me, poor fellow, but no one else does nowadays. Men don't like invalids. They are sorry for them, and pity them. Will Dudley, for instance--he only comes to see me as a charity--because I am ill, and need amusing--
human
He is engaged to another girl, Vere. Surely you don't want him to come for love?
gpt
He would have loved me if I had been well! Rachel Greaves will never satisfy him. He cares for her as a sister rather than as a wife. If I were well again, and gay and bright as I used to be--
human
He would care for you less than he does now. You don't understand, Vere; but I am certain that Mr Dudley will never desert Rachel for another girl. He may not be passionately in love with her, perhaps it is not his nature to be demonstrative, but he has an intense admiration for her character, and would rather die than disappoint her in any way.
gpt
You seem to know a great deal about it. How can you be sure that you understand him better than I do?
human
I don't know; but I _am_ sure! I think one understands some people by instinct, and he and I were friends from the moment we met. Besides, I know Rachel better than you do, and had more opportunity of watching her life at home. I say her life, but she has practically no life of her own--it is entirely given up for others. Think what she gives up, Vere! She could have been married years ago, and had a happy home of her own, but she won't leave her father, though he is so cross and disagreeable that most people would be thankful to get away. She has the dullest, most monotonous time one can imagine, and hardly ever sees Will alone; but she is quite happy--not resigned, not forbearing nor any pretence like that, but really and truly and honestly happy. I call it splendid! There are lots of people in the world who have hard things to bear, and who bear them bravely enough, but they are not _happy_ in doing it. Rachel is--that's the wonderful thing about her!
gpt
I wonder if she could make me happy. I wonder if she could tell me how to like lying here! said poor Vere with a sob, and the idea must have grown in her mind, for a week after our return home she said suddenly,
human
I want to see Rachel Greaves!