human
Why the unmentionable mischief do you waste your energies, singing like that at a rehearsal?
gpt
Where the unmentionable mischief did you come from?
human
New York. Just came up, this morning. I'm doing the concert, to-night.
gpt
Oh! I was under the impression that I was going to do a part of it, myself.
human
Musically. I represent the power of the Press.
gpt
As critic?
human
Certainly.
gpt
How long since?
human
To-day. The regular critic is busy with a domestic funeral, his grandmother, or step-mother, or something, and it lay between the devil and me to take his place. Strange to say, the Chief chose me; but he was morose enough to say the old lady shouldn't have died, just when all the other papers in town were sending up their best critics.
gpt
But how do you expect to get up a criticism?
human
By caressing the mammon of unrighteousness. I know you; likewise the president of this chorus was in my prep. school. I happened to hear of him, last week, and I am banking on the fact for all it is worth. Therefore I have two strings to my bow. That's more than one of your second violins did. To my certain knowledge, he wrecked two strings in the overture and one in the prelude of your first solo. After that, I got interested and lost count.
gpt
Do you expect us to dictate our own praises?
human
Not much. I am too canny for that. Besides, don't be too sure they will be praises. No; I have asked the president, in strict confidence, just what he thinks of you, and his answer was properly garrulous. His originality was startling, too. He observed that you have temperament. Now I am proceeding to ask you, also in strict confidence, what you think of the chorus.
gpt
That it has intemperament, Thayer responded promptly.
human
Dane, I abhor that word.
gpt
Is that the reason you coined its negative?
human
No; but it gets on my nerves. When it started out into service, it meant something; but now it is used to express everything, from real artistic feeling down to the way a man rolls up his eyes when he sings love songs. I wish you newspaper men would bring out something new to take its place. You can do it; you generally set the fashion in words.
gpt
I'll ask Lee, when he gets over his funeral, Bobby suggested.
human
It is out of my line. I am a greater artist than he is, a typographical song without words. I do scareheads, and buffet the devil. Thayer?
gpt
Yes?
human
Do you honestly enjoy this sort of thing?
gpt
No. I prefer an occasional street-cleaning episode; but what can you expect in a March thaw?
human
I don't mean that, Bobby said impatiently.
gpt
I'm not joking now.
human
Beg pardon, Thayer returned briefly.
gpt
What do you mean, Dane?
human
I mean all this tramping round the country, singing to strange people, getting applause at night and reading about yourself, next day. Doesn't it get a frightful bore, after the dozenth time you've been through it?
gpt
The applause and the audience and the criticisms, yes. The singing, no,
human
And you're willing to put up with one for the sake of the other?
gpt
Yes.
human
Well, tastes differ, then. In New York, we've been going on the same old routine, and yet no two days have been alike, except in the minor detail of missing you at places. You have been in twenty different cities, and I'd be willing to bet that your routine hasn't varied: sleeper, hotel, rehearsal, concert, applause, wreath, supper, hotel, bed, and so on around the circuit again and again. And you say the singing pays for it. It does pay us; but you can't hear yourself, Thayer, not to get any good of it. If it isn't the applause and such stuff, what do you do it for?