human
Bayliss!
gpt
Sir?
human
Watch!
gpt
You see this roll? That's the home plate. This spoon is first base. Where I'm putting this cup is second. This piece of bacon is third. There's your diamond for you. Very well, then. These lumps of sugar are the infielders and the outfielders. Now we're ready. Batter up? He stands here. Catcher behind him. Umps behind catcher.
human
Umps, I take it, sir, is what we would call the umpire?
gpt
Call him anything you like. It's part of the game. Now here's the box, where I've put this dab of marmalade, and here's the pitcher, winding up.
human
The pitcher would be equivalent to our bowler?
gpt
I guess so, though why you should call him a bowler gets past me.
human
The box, then, is the bowler's wicket?
gpt
Have it your own way. Now pay attention. Play ball! Pitcher's winding up. Put it over, Mike, put it over! Some speed, kid! Here it comes, right in the groove. Bing! Batter slams it and streaks for first. Outfielder--this lump of sugar--boots it. Bonehead! Batter touches second. Third? No! Get back! Can't be done. Play it safe. Stick around the sack, old pal. Second batter up. Pitcher getting something on the ball now besides the cover. Whiffs him. Back to the bench, Cyril! Third batter up. See him rub his hands in the dirt. Watch this kid. He's good! He lets two alone, then slams the next right on the nose. Whizzes around to second. First guy, the one we left on second, comes home for one run. That's a game! Take it from me, Bill, that's a _game!_
human
Quite an interesting game, said Bayliss.
gpt
But I find, now that you have explained it, sir, that it is familiar to me, though I have always known it under another name. It is played a great deal in this country.
human
It is? And I've been five years here without finding it out! When's the next game scheduled?
gpt
It is known in England as Rounders, sir. Children play it with a soft ball and a racquet, and derive considerable enjoyment from it. I had never heard of it before as a pastime for adults.
human
Children?
gpt
A racquet?
human
Yes, sir.
gpt
You--you didn't say a soft ball?
human
Yes, sir.