human
I do wish you would try to tell me!
gpt
Why should you care what I think?
human
Perhaps my music is terrible rubbish!
gpt
It certainly is not, or it could not have made a strong impression upon me.
human
It did really make a strong impression?
gpt
Very strong.
human
Then you think I have something in me worth developing, worth taking care of?
gpt
I am sure you have.
human
I wonder how I ought to live?
gpt
Is that what you came to ask me?
human
To-night I feel as if I didn't know, didn't know at all! You see, I avoid so many things, so many experiences that I might have.
gpt
Do you?
human
Yes. I think I've done that for years. I know I'm doing it now.
gpt
Mrs. Shiffney has asked me again to go yachting with her.
human
But I thought you had refused.
gpt
I did. But she has been again to-day. She says your daughter is going.
human
Charmian has been asked.
gpt
Mrs. Shiffney said she had accepted the invitation.
human
Yes.
gpt
And now I'm to give my answer on Sunday.
human
You seem quite upset about it,
gpt
Of course it seems a small matter. People would laugh at me, I know, for worrying. But what I feel is that if I go with Mrs. Shiffney, or go to Max Elliot's parties, I shall very soon be drawn into a life quite different from the one I have always led. And I do think it matters very much to--to some people just how they live, whom they know well, and so on. Men say, of course, that a man ought to face the rough and tumble of life. And some women say a man ought to welcome every experience. I wonder what the truth is?
human
Follow your instinct.
gpt
Can't one have conflicting instincts?
human
Oh, no!
gpt
Then one's instinct may not be strong enough to make itself known.
human
I doubt that.
gpt
But I am a man, you a woman. Women are said to have stronger instincts than men.
human
Aren't you playing with your own convictions?
gpt
Am I?
human
Mrs. Shiffney said something to me that struck me, he said presently.
gpt
She implied that experiences of all kinds are the necessary food for anyone who wishes to be at all a big artist. She evidently thinks that England has failed to produce great musicians because the English are hampered by tradition.
human
She thinks uncleanliness necessary to the producing of beauty perhaps!
gpt
Ah, I believe you have put into words what I have been thinking!
human
Is it wisdom to grope for stars in the mud?
gpt
No, no! It can't be!
human
St Augustine, and many others, went through mud to the stars though.
gpt
St. Francis didn't--if we are to talk of the saints.
human
I believe you could guide me.
gpt
Even if I could, don't let me.
human
Why?
gpt
I want the composer of the music I heard at the little house to be very strong in every way. No, no; I am not going to try to guide you, my friend!
human
I never met anyone so capable of comradeship--no woman, I mean--as you.
gpt
That's a compliment I like!