human
I was sorry I went to Max Elliot's till you came into the room, he said.
gpt
And ever since then I've been partly very glad.
human
But only partly?
gpt
Yes, because I've always had an instinctive dread of getting drawn in.
human
To the current of our modern art life. I'm sure you mean that.
gpt
I do. And of course Elliot is in the thick of it. Mrs. Shiffney's in it, and all her lot, which I don't know. And that fellow Lane is in it too.
human
And I suppose I am in it with Charmian.
gpt
I have some talent. It isn't the sort of talent to win popularity. Fortunately, I don't desire--in fact, I'm very much afraid of popularity. But as I believe my talent is--is rather peculiar, individual, it might easily become--well, I suppose I may say the rage in a certain set. They might drop me very soon. Probably they would--I don't know. But I have a strong feeling that they'd take me up violently if I gave them a chance. That's what Max Elliot can't help wanting. He's such a good fellow, but he's a born exploiter. Not in any nasty way, of course!
human
I quite understand.
gpt
And, I don't want to seem conceited, but I see there's something about me that set would probably like. Mrs. Shiffney's showed me that. I have never called upon her. She has sent me several invitations. And to-day she called. She wants me to go with her on _The Wanderer_ for a cruise.
human
To Wonderland?
gpt
In the Mediterranean, I believe.
human
Doesn't that tempt you?
gpt
Yes, terribly. But I flatly refused to go. But she knew I was tempted. It's only curiosity on her part, he added, with a sort of hot, angry boyishness.
human
She can't make me out, and I didn't call. That's why she asked me.
gpt
You're very much afraid of exposing yourself--or is it your talent?--to the influence of what we may as well call the world,
human
I suppose one's talent is oneself, one's best self.
gpt
Perhaps so. I have none. You know best about that. I expect you are right in being afraid.
human
You don't think I'm merely a rather absurd coward and egoist?
gpt
Oh, no! But some people--many, I think--would say a talent is meant to be used, to be given to the light.
human
I know. But I don't think the modern world wants mine. I --he reddened--
gpt
I always set words from the Bible nearly or from the Prayer-Book.
human
Not the _Song of Solomon_.
gpt
But don't the English--
human
Good heavens! I know you are thinking of the Handel Festival and _Elijah_ in the provinces! he exclaimed.
gpt
I know you are!
human
I should like to play you one or two of my things, he said impulsively.
gpt
Then you'll see at once.