human
Monsieur!
gpt
Madame!
human
Come, come; on Christmas Eve!
gpt
Monsieur apologizes?
human
Madame complains?
gpt
Yes; Madame complains. Madame complains of your not being more moved, more thrilled by the spirit of Christmas. The ding-ding-dong from the bells of Notre Dame awakens no emotion in you; and when the magic-lantern went by under your very window, you were perfectly unmoved, utterly indifferent. I watched you attentively, though I pretended to work.
human
Unmoved? Indifferent? I? When the magic lantern went by! Ah, my dear! you judge me very severely, and really--
gpt
Yes, yes; laugh if you will. It is nevertheless true that the pretty memories of your childhood are lost.
human
Come, my pet, would you like me to stand my boots in the fireplace to-night before I go to bed? Would you like me to stop the magic-lantern man and go and get him a sheet and a candle-end, as my mother used to do? I can almost see her as she handed him the sheet. 'Be careful you don't tear it, now,' she would say; and we all clapped our hands in the mysterious obscurity. I remember all those joys, dear; but, you see, so many things have happened since. Other pleasures have obliterated those.
gpt
Yes, I understand,--the pleasures of your bachelorhood! Come, now, I am sure this is the first Christmas Eve that has ever found you by your own fireside, in your dressing-gown and without a supper, because you always had supper; that goes without saying--
human
Why, I don't know--
gpt
Yes, yes; I wager you always had a supper.
human
Well, perhaps I did, once or twice, although I scarcely remember; I may have had supper with a few old friends. And what did it all amount to? Two pennies' worth of chestnuts and--
gpt
And a glass of sugar and water.
human
Well, just about. Oh, it was nothing much, I can assure you! It sounds great at a distance. We talked awhile, and then we went to bed.
gpt
And he says all that with the straightest face! You have never breathed a word of these simple pleasures to me.
human
But, my dear, what I tell you is the absolute truth. I remember once, however, at Ernest's, when I was in rather high spirits, we had a little music afterwards--Will you push me that log? Well, never mind; it is almost midnight, and time for all reasonable people to--
gpt
Well, I don't choose to be reasonable, and I mean to eclipse the memory of those penny chestnuts and all that sugar and water!
human
What the deuce is the matter with you, my dear?
gpt
Give me ten minutes, no more. Your paper is on the mantel-piece; you have not seen it to-night. You will find the matches in the corner.
human
Don't scold me for shutting you out, said she, embracing me.
gpt
Look at me. Have I not made myself beautiful? See! My hair just as you like it, high, and my neck uncovered. But my poor neck is so extremely shy that it never could have displayed itself in the broad light, if I had not encouraged it a little by wearing a low-necked gown. After all, it is only right to be in full-dress uniform at a supper with the authority.
human
What supper?
gpt
Why, our supper. My supper with you, of course. Don't you see my illumination and the table covered with flowers and good things to eat? I had it all ready in the alcove; but, you see, to push the table before the fire and make something of a toilet, I had to be alone. I have a big drop of old Chambertin for you. Come, Monsieur, come to supper; I am as hungry as a bear! May I offer you this chicken-wing?
human
This is a charming idea of yours, my love, but I really feel ashamed of myself,--in my dressing-gown.
gpt
Take it off, sir, if you are uncomfortable, but do not leave me with this chicken-wing on my hands. Wait a minute; I want to wait upon you myself. And rising, she swung her napkin over her arm and pulled up her sleeve to her elbow.
human
Isn't that the way the waiters do at the restaurants, tell me?
gpt
Exactly. But stop a moment, waiter; will you permit me to kiss your hand?
human
I haven't time, she said, smiling, and she drove the corkscrew bravely into the neck of a bottle.
gpt
Chambertin!--a pretty name. And, besides, do you remember, before we were married--_sapristi_, what a hard cork!--you told me you liked it on account of a play by Alfred de Musset?--which you never gave me to read, by the way. Do you see those little Bohemian glass tumblers that I bought especially for to-night? We will drink each other's health in them.
human
And his too, eh?
gpt
The heir's, you mean? Poor little love of an heir, I should think so! Then I shall hide the two glasses and bring them out again this day next year, eh, dear? They will be the Christmas-supper glasses, and we will have supper every year before the hearth, you and I alone, until our very old, old age.
human
Yes; but when we shall have lost all our teeth--
gpt
Never mind; we shall have nice little soups, and it will none the less be very sweet. Another piece for me, please, with a little jelly, thank you.
human
What are you looking up my sleeve for instead of eating?
gpt
I am looking at your arm, dear. You are exquisitely pretty to-night; do you know it? Your hair is wonderfully becoming, and that gown--I had never seen that gown before.
human
You are adorable!
gpt
Are you quite sure that I am adorable to-night, charming, ravishing? Then, looking at her bracelet attentively,
human
In that case I don't see why--I don't see--
gpt
What is it that you don't see, dear?
human
I don't see why you don't come and kiss me.
gpt
Give me some more _pâté_! I want some more _pâté_! Take care! You are going to break my Bohemian glass, the fruit of my economy! There is always some disaster when you try to kiss me. You remember at Madame de Brill's ball, two nights before we were married, how you tore my gown while we were waltzing in the little parlor?
human
Well, but it is very difficult to do two things at once,--keep time with the music and kiss your partner.
gpt
I remember when mamma asked me how I tore my gown, I felt that I was blushing up to the roots of my hair. And Madame D., that old yellow witch, said to me with her lenten smile, 'What a brilliant color you have to-night, my child!' I could have choked her! I said I had caught my gown on a nail in the door. I was watching you out of the corner of my eye. You were twirling your mustache, and you seemed quite vexed. You keep all the truffles for yourself,--how nice of you! Not that one; I want that big black one there,--in the corner. Well, after all, it was none the less very wrong, because--no, no, don't fill my glass; I don't want to get tipsy--because if we had not married (that might have happened, you know; they say that marriages hang by a thread), well, if the thread had not been strong enough, here I was left with that kiss on my shoulder,--a pretty plight!
human
Nonsense! It does not stain.
gpt
Yes, sir, it does; I beg your pardon, but it does stain, and so much so that there are husbands, I am told, who spill their blood to wash out those little stains.
human
I was only jesting, dear. Heavens! I should think it did! Fancy! Why--
gpt
Ah, I am glad to hear you say so. I like to see you get angry. You are just a wee bit jealous, tell me, are you not? Well, upon my word! I asked you for the big black one, and you are quietly eating it!
human
I am very sorry, my love; I beg your pardon. I forgot all about it.
gpt
Yes, just as you did when we were being married. I was obliged to touch your elbow to make you answer yes to Monsieur the Mayor's kind words!
human
Kind words?
gpt
Yes, kind words. I thought the mayor was charming. No one could have been more happy than he was in addressing me. 'Mademoiselle, do you consent to take this great big ugly little man who stands beside you for your lawful--' [Laughing with her mouth full.] I was about to say to him, 'Let us understand each other, Monsieur; there is much to be said for and against.' Heavens! I am choking! [Bursts into great peals of laughter.] I was wrong in not making some restrictions. There! I am teasing you, and that is stupid. I said yes with my whole heart, I assure you, my darling, and the word was only too weak. When I think that all women, even the bad ones, use that same word, I feel ashamed of not having invented a better one. [Holding up her glass.] Here is to our golden wedding!
human
And here is to his christening, little mother!
gpt
Tell me, dear, are you sorry you married me?
human
Yes. [Kissing her on the shoulder.] I think I have found the stain. Here it is.
gpt
Do you realize that it is two o'clock. The fire is out. I am--you won't laugh? Well, I am just a little dizzy!
human
That was a famous _pâté_!
gpt
A famous _pâté_! We will have a cup of tea in the morning, eh, dear?
human
He delivered there and then a perfect sermon on the subject, he used to say,