human
Are you sure about that fellow Moss?
gpt
What do you call sure about him? He's as big a swindler, I guess, as you shall find from here to himself.
human
And are you going to put Rachel into his hands?
gpt
Well, I think so;--after a sort of fashion. He'll swindle her out of three parts of what she earns;--but she'll get the fourth part. It's always the way with a young girl when she's first brought out.
human
I don't mean about money. Will you leave her conduct in his hands?
gpt
He'll be a clever chap who'll undertake to look after Rachel's conduct. I guess she'll conduct herself mostly.
human
You'll be there to be sure,
gpt
Yes, I shall be there; and she'll conduct me too. Very likely.
human
But, Mr. O'Mahony,--as a father!
gpt
I know pretty well what you would be saying. Our young folk grow old quicker a long sight than yours do. Now your girls here are as sweet as primroses out of the wood. But Rachel is like a rose that has been brought up to stand firm on its own bush. I'm not a bit afraid of her. Nor yet is your son. She looks as though you might blow her away with the breath from your mouth. You try her, and you'll find that she'll want a deal of blowing.
human
Does not a young girl lose something of the aroma of her youth by seeing too much of the world too soon?
gpt
How old do you expect her to be when she's to die?
human
Rachel! How can I tell? She is only as yet entering upon life, and her health seems to be quite confirmed.
gpt
The best confirmed I ever knew in my life. She never has a day's illness. Taking all the chances one way and another, shall we say sixty?
human
More than that, I should think,
gpt
Say sixty. She may fall down a trap in the theatre, or be drowned in one of your Cunarders.
human
The Cunard steamers never drown anybody,
gpt
Well, then, a White Star--or any cockle-shell you may please to name. We'll put her down for sixty as an average.
human
I don't know what you are driving at,
gpt
She has lived a third of her life already, and you expect her to know nothing, so that the aroma may still cling to her. Aroma does very well for earls' daughters and young marchionesses, though as far as I can learn, it's going out of fashion with them. What has an American girl to do with aroma, who's got her bread to earn? She's got to look to her conduct, and to be sharp at the same time. Mr. Mahomet M. Moss will rob her of seventy-five cents out of every dollar for the next twelve months. In three years' time he'll rob her of nothing. Only that she knows what conduct means, he'd have to look very sharp to keep his own.
human
It is not natural,
gpt
But it's American. Marvels are not natural, and we are marvellous people. I don't know much about aroma, but I think you'll find Rachel will come out of the washing without losing much colour in the process.
human
I guess you two have got something to say to each other, so I'll leave you to yourselves,
gpt
I guess we have, said Rachel,
human
So saying, Rachel put her hand on her lover's arm and walked off with him along the platform. Rachel O'Mahony had not been badly described when her father said of her that she looked as though she might be blown away. She was very fair, and small and frail to look at. Her father had also said of her that her health was remarkably good,--
gpt
But though this too, was true, she hardly looked it. No one could have pointed out any sign of malady about her; only one would have said that there was nothing of her. And the colour on her face was so evanescent that he who watched her was inclined to think that she herself was like her colour. And she moved as though she was always on the vanishing point.
human
I'm very fond of eating, she had been heard to say.
gpt
I know it's vulgar; but it's true. No doubt she was fond of eating, but so is a sparrow. There was nothing she would not attempt to do in the way of taking exercise. She would undertake very long walks, and would then fail, and declare that she must be carried home; but she would finally get through the day's work better than another woman who appeared to have double her strength. Her feet and hands were the tiniest little adjuncts to a grown human body that could be seen anywhere. They looked at least to be so. But they were in perfect symmetry with her legs and arms.
human
I wish I were bigger, she had once been heard to say,
gpt
The man to whom she alluded was Mr. Mahomet M. Moss.
human
I sometimes want to hit a woman, but that would be such a small triumph. And yet she had a pride in her little female fineries.
gpt
Now, Frank, she had once said,
human
I guess you won't get another woman in all Galway to put her foot into that boot; nor yet in New York either.
gpt
I don't think I could,
human
You'd better take it to New York and try, and if you find the lady you can bring her back with you.
gpt
Ten buttons! These only have eight, she said, objecting to a present which her lover had just brought her.
human
If I had ten buttons, and the gloves to fit me, I'd cut my arm off and put it under a glass case. Lovers are sent out to do all possible and impossible things in order to deserve their lady-loves. You shall go and wander about till you find a glove with ten buttons to fit me, then I'll consent to be Mrs.----Jones. By all of which little manoeuvres Frank was charmed and oppressed to the last degree. When she would call herself the
gpt
he would almost feel inclined to abandon both the name and the property.
human
Why not be Mrs. Morony, Rachel would say,
gpt
A lock of my hair! she had once said to Frank;
human
Mr. Mahomet M. Moss declares his opinion that I shall be seen above the gaslights. It was very civil and complimentary of Mahomet M. M. But I mean to make myself heard. Mahomet M. M. did not seem to think of this.
gpt
look of the gentleman from the other side of the water, who seems to know himself to be much better than his father, and infinitely superior to his grandfather; who is always ready to make a speech on every occasion, and who feels himself to be fit company for a Prime Minister as soon as he has left school. Probably he is. Young Jones was not so; and it was on account of this deficiency that Rachel prized him.
human
I'm not like a young girl myself, she had said to her father,
gpt
For a little monkey, what do you think of yourself?
human
I know you'll be after me before long,
gpt
If I do, I shall ask you to marry me at once,
human
I shall never do that without your father's leave.
gpt
Is that the way they manage things in America?
human
It's the way I shall manage them here, said Rachel.
gpt
I'm in the unfortunate position of having three papas to whom I must attend. There is papa O'Mahony--
human
You will never be incommoded much by him,
gpt
He is the least potent of the three, no doubt. Then there is papa Jones. He is absolutely omnipotent in this matter. He would not let me come down to Castle Morony for fear I should contaminate you all. I obeyed without even daring to feel the slightest snub, and if I were married to-morrow, I should kiss his toe in token of respect, and with a great deal more affection than I should kiss your half-bearded lips, sir. Here Frank got a hold of her hand beneath his arm, and gave it a squeeze.
human
He is the real old-fashioned father in the play, who is expected to come out at last with a hundred thousand dollars and his blessing.
gpt
And who is the third papa?
human
Don't you know? Mahomet M. Moss. He is the third papa--if only he would consent to remain in that comparatively humble position. Here Frank listened to her words with sharp ears, but he said nothing at the moment.
gpt
Mahomet M. Moss is at any rate my lord and master for the present.
human
Not whilst I am alive,
gpt
But he is. There is no use in rebelling. You are not my lord and master until you have gone through a certain ceremony. I wish you were. Will that satisfy you?
human
There is something in the name of lord and master which a girl shouldn't apply to anyone but to him who is to be her husband.
gpt
Fiddlestick! Mr. Lord and Master that is to be, but is not as yet. But he is, in many respects. I don't think, Frank, you can imagine the horror I feel in reference to that vilest of human beings. I shall carry a dagger with me, in order to have it ready for any occasion.
human
What does he do? You shall not go to be subjected to such danger and such annoyance.
gpt
The annoyance no doubt will be mine, Frank, and must be endured; the danger will be his, I think. Nor shall I use the dagger that I spoke of. I can look at him, and I can make him hear my voice, in spite of the smallness of my stature. But there is no one in this world whom I detest as I do that greasy Jew. It is not for what he does, but that I simply detest him. He makes love to me.
human
What!
gpt
Oh! he does. You needn't look like that. You needn't be a bit jealous.
human
I shall come over at once.
gpt
And knock him on the head! You had better not do that, because we want to make some money by his means. As a lover I can keep him at a distance. I wish I could do so to you, Mr. Jones.
human
Why do you wish to keep me at a distance?
gpt
Because you know how to be troublesome. It is much harder to keep a lover at a distance when you really love him with all your heart --here she looked up into his face and squeezed his arm, and nearly made him mad for the moment--
human
She pointed to a cross-looking old gentleman of sixty, who was scolding a porter violently.
gpt
Why aren't you jealous of that man?
human
You never saw him before.
gpt
That's just the reason. He may be worth my affection, but I know that that Mahomet M. M. is not. You begin with the most bitter hatred on my part. I don't hate that old gentleman. I rather like him on the whole, though he was so cross. At any rate he's not a greasy Jew. Papa says that hating Jews is a prejudice. Loving you is a prejudice, I suppose.
human
My darling!
gpt
You can't suppose you are the best man I ever saw, can you?
human
It's a sort of thing we are not to reason about.
gpt
Then it's a prejudice. I'm prejudiced against Mahomet M. M. I'm equally prejudiced in favour of Mr. Jones, junior, of Ballintubber. It's horrible to be troubled by the one.
human
Well!
gpt
Well! There's nothing more coming, Mr. Jones. Only don't you come over in any of your fits of jealousy, or you'll have to be sent back again. You're not my lord and master--yet.
human
I wish I were.
gpt
So do I. What more do you want than that? I don't believe there's another girl in New York would say as much to you,--nor yet in County Galway.
human
But what does he say to you?
gpt
Well; just the kind of things that you never say. And he certainly never does the kind of things which you do; and that, Mr. Jones, is an improvement. But papa is in a hurry, and I shouldn't wonder if the train didn't go on in a quarter of an hour. I'll write to you about Mahomet M. M.; and if I behave very badly, such as prodding him with the dagger, or something of that sort, then I will let you know the details. You can't do it here, so you may as well go.
human
He's a good fellow, take him all round,
gpt
As good as the rest of them.
human
I think he is better.
gpt
Of course we all think so of our own. Why should he be better than any other young lady's Mr. Jones? I don't suppose he is better; but we'll endeavour to believe that he is up to the average.
human
Is that all that you've got to say for him, Rachel?
gpt
What! To you? Not exactly--if I am to speak the solid truth; which I don't see why I should have to do, even to my own father. I do think him above the average. I think him so much above the average as to be the best of all. But why? Simply because I believe him when he says he wants to marry me, and make me his companion for life. And then there's an affinity between us which God certainly manages. Why should I trust him in every detail of life with a perfect faith, and not trust Mr. Mahomet M. Moss to the extent of half-a-crown? If he were to ask me for everything I have in the world, I should give it to him, without a thought except of his goodness in taking care of it for me. I wouldn't let Mahomet M. Moss have a dollar of mine without giving me his bond. Papa, there will be a row between me and Mr. Mahomet M. Moss, and so it's well to put you on your guard.
human
What sort of a row, my dear?
gpt
A very rowy row. I don't mean about dollars, for you'll have to manage that just at first. When we have got into the running, I think I shall have something to say on that subject too.
human
What row do you mean?
gpt
He'll misbehave himself. He always does, more or less.
human
The poor fellow can't open his mouth without your saying that he misbehaves himself.
gpt
That's quite true; he can't. He can't brush his hair, or tie his cravat, or settle his pantaloons, without misbehaving himself. He certainly can't look out of his eye without gross misbehaviour.
human
What is he to do then? said Mr. O'Mahony.
gpt
Nature has imbued him with all these peculiarities, and you are fantastic to find fault with him.
human
Perhaps so--but then I am fantastic. When you've got a dirty coat on, or Frank, I don't find fault with it; but when he's got a clean coat, I writhe at him in my disgust. Yet, upon the whole, I like men to have clean coats.
gpt
But you haven't said how the row is to come.
human
Because I don't know; but it will come. It won't be about his coat, nor yet his hat, unless he puts it close down under my nose. My time, as I understand, is to be at his disposal.
gpt
There will be an agreement made as to all that.
human
An agreement as to my performances. I quite understand that I must be present at fixed times at the theatre, and that he must fix them. That will not worry me; particularly if you will go to the theatre with me.
gpt
Of course I will do that when you want it.
human
But he is to come to me with his beastly lessons. Am I to have no relief from that?
gpt
The hours can be fixed.
human
But they won't be fixed. There's no doubt that he understands his trade. He can make me open my mouth and keep it open. And he can tell me when I sing false or flat. Providence when she gave him that horrid head of hair, did give him also the peculiarity of a fine ear. I think it is the meanest thing out for a man to be proud of that. If you can run a straight furrow with a plough it is quite as great a gift.
gpt
That is nonsense, my dear. Such an ear as Mr. Moss's is very rare.
human
A man who can see exactly across an entire field is just as rare. I don't see the difference. Nor when a woman sings do I respect her especially because of her voice. When a man can write a poem like Homer, or rule a country like Washington, there is something to say for him. I shall tell him that I will devote one hour a day to practising, and no more.
gpt
That will settle the difficulty; if it be enough.
human
But during that hour, there is to be no word spoken except what has to do with the lessons. You'll bear me out in that?
gpt
There must be some give and take in regard to ordinary conversation.
human
You don't know what a beast he is, papa. What am I to do if he tells me to my face that I'm a beautiful young woman?
gpt
Tell him that you are quite aware of the fact, but that it is a matter you do not care to talk about.
human
And then he'll simper. You do not know what a vile creature he can be. I can take care of myself. You needn't be a bit afraid about that. I fancy I could give him a slap on the face which would startle him a little. And if we came to blows, I do believe that he would not have a leg to stand upon. He is nearly fifty.
gpt
My dear!
human
Say forty. But I do believe a good shove would knock him off his nasty little legs. I used to think he wore a wig; but no hairdresser could be such a disgrace to his profession to let such a wig as that go out of his shop.
gpt
I always regarded him as a good-looking young man, said Mr. O'Mahony. Here Rachel shook her head, and made a terrible grimace.
human
It's all fancy you know,
gpt
I suppose it is. But if you hear that I have told him that I regard him as a disgusting monkey, you must not be surprised.
human
Oh, dear! ejaculated Miss O'Mahony, turning back upon her father.
gpt
Cannot you get rid of him? Mr. O'Mahony, without a word of reply to his daughter, at once greeted Mr. Moss most affectionately.
human
Yes, my bird is here--as you see. You have taken a great deal of trouble in coming to meet us. Mr. Moss begged that the trouble might be taken as being the greatest pleasure he had ever had in his life.
gpt
Nothing could be too much to do for Miss O'Mahony. He had had, he said, the wires at work, and had been taught to expect them by this train. Would Miss O'Mahony condescend to take a seat in the carriage which was waiting for her? She had not spoken a word, but had laid fast hold of her father's arm.
human
I had better look after the luggage, said the father, shaking the daughter off.
gpt
Perhaps Mr. Moss will go with you, said she;--and at the moment she looked anything but pleasant. Mr. Moss expressed his sense of the high honour which was done him by her command, but suggested that she should seat herself in the carriage.
human
I will stand here under this pillar,