human
Well, what is it?
gpt
Can I speak with you a few minutes, sir?
human
Not now, not now.
gpt
I want to see you on business, sir.
human
You have business with me?
gpt
Important business, sir.
human
Well, well, I'll see you in a few minutes; I've got to send an important telegram now.
gpt
But I want to see you before you send that telegram.
human
Before I send the telegram? Why?
gpt
Because I think I can prove to you that it is not necessary to wire to New York at all.
human
Eh? Why, how did you know that I was going to wire to New York?
gpt
I overheard what you said to Mr. Perley in front of the opera house just now.
human
Humph! I was excited, and spoke a little louder than I ought. Well, why do you think it will not be necessary for me to send the telegram?
gpt
Because I am sure you can find just the person you want right here in Boomville.
human
An advance agent to be picked up offhand in this place? That would be too much luck. What is your man's name?
gpt
Allen Allston.
human
I never heard of him. What company was he with last?
gpt
He has never been with any company, sir, but----
human
Do you suppose for one moment, he interrupted,
gpt
And you're going to telegraph for one now, sir?
human
This minute.
gpt
But suppose you can't get the man you want--will you talk with me then, sir?
human
Er--yes, in that case you might send your friend to see me, though it seems nonsense. But I shall get my man all right.
gpt
I suppose you are going to request an immediate answer to your telegram, Mr. Wattles?
human
I am; I shall get it within an hour, in all probability.
gpt
Where can I find you after you have received it?
human
At the hotel next door. You are a persistent young rascal; your friend has a good advocate in you.
gpt
I am the best friend he has in the world,
human
Well, if you are you had better advise him to stick to farming, or whatever he is doing, and keep out of the theatrical business; we have too many farmers in it already.
gpt
He wouldn't take the advice, sir.
human
If the boy's friend has got as much 'go' as he has, he muttered,
gpt
For me?
human
Yes, sir.
gpt
Well, sir?
human
You here? Well, you do mean business.
gpt
Is your offer accepted, sir?
human
Confound it, no! The man I wanted signed yesterday with another manager. Well, send your friend round and I'll talk with him.
gpt
He is here, sir.
human
Where?
gpt
I am Allen Allston.
human
You don't mean to say, he almost gasped,
gpt
That's just what I mean to say, sir,
human
Why, you must be crazy!
gpt
I don't think I am.
human
You are only a boy.
gpt
I'll get over that in time, Mr. Wattles; and besides, that fact is no proof that I am crazy.
human
Oh, pshaw! I can't stand here bandying words with you.
gpt
That's just what I was thinking,
human
What?
gpt
That we had been standing up too long. Let's sit down.
human
Well, said the manager,
gpt
Cheek is necessary for an advance agent, isn't it, sir?
human
Yes, but--oh, really, this is ridiculous, you know!
gpt
What is ridiculous?
human
Your applying for this position.
gpt
Why is it ridiculous?
human
Who ever heard of a boy advance agent?
gpt
That's just the point. Nobody ever did, and it will be a complete novelty, and a big ad. for the show.
human
Well, you are a corker!
gpt
A good advance agent ought to be a corker, oughtn't he, sir?
human
I suppose so--yes.
gpt
Shan't we sit down and talk the matter over?
human
Yes.
gpt
I've got him now sure,
human
Now, sir, you want an advance agent, and I want a position. It is lucky we met.
gpt
Yes, interrupted Mr. Wattles,
human
A lot,
gpt
How did you learn it?
human
By reading and observation.
gpt
Nonsense! You might as well talk about learning to swing on a trapeze by reading and observation.
human
There's a big difference, sir.
gpt
Not much.
human
Well, I've always thought I should like to do work of that sort, and I think I could do it well.
gpt
Stage-struck, eh?
human
Not a bit of it, Mr. Wattles. Now, will you listen to me a few moments, sir?
gpt
Go ahead.
human
I generally keep my eyes open, began the boy,
gpt
Why the advance agents in particular?
human
Because I have been in the editorial office of the Boomville _Herald_, and have had a chance to see how they work the press. Some of them are very slick, but I think that if I had a little experience I should be as slick as any of them.
gpt
Ah, said the manager,
human
Well, I've got to begin some time, sir. If all managers had talked like you the race of advance agents would have been extinct long ago.
gpt
There's something in that,
human
There's lots in it.
gpt
My boy, I rather like you,
human
Well, that's one point in my favor, sir,
gpt
I'd like to give you a chance, but I really do not see how I can.
human
Why can't you?
gpt
You must remember that the New York Comedy Company is not a common, fly-by-night organization, but a first-class enterprise. I have put a good many dollars into the thing, and I can't afford to experiment. If so much did not depend upon the result, if I were running a cheap side show, I might give you the trial you ask, but----
human
I wouldn't have anything to do with any such show, interrupted the boy.
gpt
I don't intend to be that sort of advance agent. But I can understand how you feel, sir.
human
Then you can also understand how impossible it is for me to engage your services.
gpt
Oh, no, I can't understand that at all, Mr. Wattles. Now let me ask you a question.
human
What is it?
gpt
I heard you tell Mr. Perley that you did not expect there would be four hundred dollars in the house to-night.
human
That's what I said. I shall be agreeably disappointed if there is as much as that.
gpt
Yet the opera house will hold twelve hundred dollars.
human
I see you are posted, my boy.
gpt
I am. Now, Mr. Wattles, it is a little out of the line of an advance agent's work, but, just to show you that I have a little snap and business ability, I will guarantee to fill the opera house to its utmost capacity to-night, if you will agree to give me a chance as advance agent after that.
human
Do you know what you are talking about?
gpt
I do.
human
You will undertake to fill the house to-night, in spite of the disadvantages under which we are laboring?
gpt
The 'Standing Room Only' sign will be displayed before eight o'clock.
human
Well, what is your scheme?
gpt
You will agree to follow my suggestions?
human
Not until I hear them.
gpt
If you don't like them you will agree not to repeat anything I may say to you?
human
Certainly.
gpt
Then I'll give you my idea. I see you are getting ready to guy me, sir,
human
Oh, no.
gpt
You don't think I can knock out such a strong opposition as the 'Crack of Doom' Company, do you?
human
I do not.
gpt
Well, I'll show you that I can, and get you not only a full house, but the elite of the place.
human
Well, well, interrupted Mr. Wattles, impatiently,
gpt
Mr. Wattles, said Al, in a low tone,
human
I suppose you have in your time met a few stage-struck amateurs--people who thought they knew it all, and only needed a chance to show the world that they were the equal of anyone who ever trod the boards?
gpt
I should say yes. The woods are full of them.
human
Well, we have one here.
gpt
Only one?
human
There are others, but one whom it will be worth your while to know.
gpt
Who is she?--for it is a woman, of course.
human
Yes, sir, it is a woman; she is the wife of the mayor.
gpt
The wife of the mayor of Boomville stage-struck?
human
In the worst way, Mr. Wattles; she believes herself the only legitimate successor of Charlotte Cushman.
gpt
They all do. Well, what has all this to do with your scheme?
human
A good deal. Mrs. Anderson--that is her name--is very anxious to appear on the professional stage.
gpt
Of course.
human
Why can't you give her a chance?
gpt
Eh? I? How?
human
Send her word that one of your actresses has been taken suddenly ill, and ask her to take her place. She'll do it, take my word for that, and all Boomville will go to see her.
gpt
Well, you must be crazy, young man, said Mr. Wattles, in a tone of disgust.
human
So that is your scheme, is it?
gpt
That is part of it.
human
Well, it won't work.
gpt
Why not?
human
For a dozen reasons. If I had two or three weeks to work up the thing it would be different; then it would, perhaps, be a good scheme. But you seem to forget that the performance takes place to-night.
gpt
There's plenty of time to work up business, said Al, calmly.
human
It is not ten o'clock yet. See Mrs. Anderson, get her consent to play, and I'll prove my executive ability by doing all the rest.
gpt
But, good gracious! how could the woman memorize a part between this and night?
human
Give her a short part--any old part. Two or three lines will do. What she wants is a chance to show herself on the professional stage.
gpt
There is a small part, hesitated Mr. Wattles,
human
She's not as bad as all that, said Al.
gpt
She has appeared in amateur performances here and made a success. Better see her, Mr. Wattles. I know she'll be tickled to death with the idea. You'll be in plenty of time to get a big ad. in this afternoon's _Herald_, and you'll have the biggest house of the season.
human
By jingo, boy, I will do it! Lots of money has been made out of stage-struck society women, and perhaps I may come in for a little of it.
gpt
You'll come in for a lot of it to-night, sir, if you just follow my advice. And now I'll show you the way to the mayor's house.
human
Wait a minute. You said this amateur racket was only a part of your scheme; what is the rest of it?
gpt
Souvenirs. This town is wild on souvenirs. The 'Crack of Doom' Company give hand-painted fans to-night. Why don't you go one better, and announce that every lady attending your performance will receive a heavily plated silver souvenir spoon?
human
But where the mischief could I get the spoons?
gpt
I'll provide them.
human
You?
gpt
Certainly.
human
But where are you going to get them?
gpt
I've got them. You see, sir, I am a sort of speculator. I attend auction sales and that sort of thing, and if I see a big bargain I take advantage of it. It's better than clerking at five dollars a week. A few days ago I struck a bankrupt sale in New York, and bought a lot of plated spoons at 'way below cost. I meant to sell them to the stores here, but I'll let you have them at just what they cost me--you can afford to give them away if you buy them at that price--and there will be plenty to go round.
human
Well, you are a queer sort of lad, he said.
gpt
You seem to have a pretty old head on those young shoulders of yours!
human
I think I have enough to look out for number one, sir.
gpt
I should say you did. I should like to know more of you.
human
You will, sir, when I become your advance agent.
gpt
Well, we'll see all about that. And now I'd better be off for the home of the stage-struck mayoress. Meet me in half an hour.
human
I'll be here, sir.
gpt
I'm afraid I'm going on a fool's errand. Confound it! I believe that young rascal has hypnotized me. But, after all, I can't afford to neglect the chance. The treasury is pretty low, and if this scheme doesn't work there may be trouble on salary day. I'll do my best to get this woman to play, and I guess I shall succeed; people used to say that Gus Wattles was the champion jollier, and I don't think he has lost his powers yet.
human
I didn't think I had so much nerve, he mused.
gpt
I'm beginning to have a little more confidence in myself. If to-night's performance is a success I shall get the job sure--he can't refuse me. But if it isn't a success, if Mrs. Anderson refuses to have anything to do with the scheme--I won't let myself think of that.
human
Well, sir?
gpt
It's all right.
human
She will play?
gpt
Not only that, but she is going to pay me for the chance. Oh, there are no flies on Augustus Wattles, my boy! Yes, she is going to play, and she is delighted because the part will give her a chance to exhibit herself in a new costume which she has just imported from Paris. Now, then, my lad, we must get up the ads. How much time have we before they must be in the newspaper office?
human
An hour at least. And you had better get out some posters announcing Mrs. Anderson's appearance. They can be on the walls in two hours. Will you leave that part to me?
gpt
Yes; but first you can help me with the advertisement. Undoubtedly you can give me some points.
human
I begin to think, he said,
gpt
That is what I have thought for a long while, sir,
human
Loved and Lost,