human
Well, young ones, said Conran, as he came in and threw down his cap and whip,
gpt
Hang olives, sir! they're beastly, said Little Grand;
human
Quite true, Little Grand! but one takes olives to enhance the wine; and so, perhaps, other men's sermons make one enjoy one's racier novel, and other men's wives make one appreciate one's liberty still better. Don't abuse olives; you'll want them figuratively and literally before you've done either drinking or living!
gpt
Oh! confound it, Major, cried Little Grand,
human
I do hope and trust a spent ball may have the kindness to double me up and finish me off before then.
gpt
You're not philosophic, my boy.
human
Thank Heaven, no! ejaculated Little Grand, piously.
gpt
I've an uncle, a very great philosopher, beats all the sages hollow, from Bion to Buckle, and writes in the Metaphysical Quarterly, but I'll be shot if he don't spend so much time in trying to puzzle out what life is, that all his has slipped away without his having _lived_ one bit. When I was staying with him one Christmas, he began boring me with a frightful theory on the non-existence of matter. I couldn't stand that, so I cut him short, and set him down to the luncheon-table; and while he was full swing with a Strasbourg pâté and Comet hock, I stopped him and asked him if, with them in his mouth, he believed in matter or not? He was shut up, of course; bless your soul, those theorists always are, if you're down upon 'em with a little fact!
human
Such as a Strasbourg pâté?--that _is_ an unanswerable argument with most men, I believe, said Conran, who liked to hear the boy chatter.
gpt
What are you going to do with yourself to-night, Grand?
human
I am going to--ar--hum--to a friend of mine,
gpt
Very well; I only asked, because I would have taken you to Mrs. Fortescue's with me; they're having some acting proverbs (horrible exertion in this oven of a place, with the thermometer at a hundred and twenty degrees); but if you've better sport it's no matter. Take care what friends you make, though, Grand; you'll find some Maltese acquaintances very costly.
human
Thank you. I should say I can take care of myself,