human
Nary a list, said 'Hatchet Ben,'
gpt
Well, I guess I had better take you right now, said Hamilton.
human
I've room on the census sheet for a few more names.
gpt
You can count me out, said 'Hatchet Ben,'
human
I'm not lookin' for that kind of fame.
gpt
Don't you think it's fair to the country to let it know who you are?
human
What's the census to me? the other said defiantly.
gpt
I calc'late a country that doesn't give a fellow a livin' doesn't care much about his name.
human
But you're getting a living, just the same, answered Hamilton,
gpt
New York State,
human
And you?
gpt
I'm an Oxford man, answered the 'Windy Duke,'
human
I do, answered Hamilton,
gpt
You were going to ask me why I prefer to wander afield rather than be 'cribbed and confined' within narrow walls. I am but one of many, an educated man without any knowledge of how to use his learning. Do you care for Greek? There are some clever scenes from Aristophanes that I can give you, or if you have a taste for satire I yield second place to none in my interpretation of Juvenal. On the pre-Cadmean alphabets I am--in my humble way--quite an authority. But these magnificent talents, he added with a self-depreciatory smile,
human
You could teach,
gpt
Only my friends, replied the scholar.
human
To teach requires pedagogy and numerous devices for improving the youthful mind. I do not greatly admire the youthful mind and it bores me. I am informed that I also bore it. Hence I prefer rather to wander than to teach. I do not claim originality in this rôle; there have been 'scholar gypsies' before this. The phrase sounds better than 'educated hobo,' but the meaning is the same.
gpt
And you?
human
Plain American, the other said simply,
gpt
Well, suggested Hamilton,
human
I think you chaps ought to let me put you down in the schedule here. We need white men in this country badly enough in all conscience, and we might as well make the strongest showing we can. Two Americans and an Englishman will help the average just that much. Part of the 'white man's burden,'
gpt
If you put it that way, said 'Hatchet Ben,'
human
I calc'late after all I'm elected for one. Anything I can do to put down, even on paper, these foreigners that live on nothin' and drive a decent man out of a job, I'll do. I'm down on this jabberin' mob from the south o' Europe bein' dumped down here by the hundred thousand every year, an' you can take that straight from me.
gpt
It's a little curious, said Hamilton, noting down the facts as they came up in conversation, not wanting to work directly upon the schedule for fear of rebuffs,
human
Nearly all hoboes are Americans, 'Hatchet Ben' explained,
gpt
Trampdom, said 'Windy,'
human
No, Hamilton said.
gpt
Never.
human
And you're never likely to, 'Hatchet Ben' interjected,
gpt
I wonder why?
human
I purpose writing a monograph upon the subject of the nationality of the Hobo Empire, the 'Windy Duke' broke in,
gpt
Would you mind my asking what made you take to the road?
human
Not at all, 'Hatchet Ben' replied.
gpt
It's a very usual story. I'm a steel worker by trade, an' when I was workin' I was reckoned among the best in the plant.
human
What did you quit it for?
gpt
Slovaks, the man answered.
human
Every year or two the Pittsburg operators would get together an' pretty soon gangs of foreigners would start comin' to the West. They seemed to know where to come, an' started work the mornin' after they got there, without even seein' the boss.
gpt
But that could hardly be, I should think, said Hamilton;
human
Not much fear of that, the steel worker answered
gpt
Dangerous business if they got caught at it!
human
They're paid to take chances, the other replied.
gpt
Then, when these foreigners come, they know nothin' about the scale of wages in America only that the pay is so much larger than anythin' they can get in their own country, an' they live even here in so cheap a way that no matter what wages they receive they can put money aside every week. The boss doesn't see any use in payin' them at a high rate, when they work just as well for small, an' down goes the wages.
human
But they get a poorer grade of labor that way, objected Hamilton,
gpt
I shouldn't think that would pay.
human
They make up for it by increasin' the power of machinery, by givin' a man less and less to learn and more and more of some simple thing to do.
gpt
In a way that ought to be good, too, the boy persisted,
human
I'm not a machinist, the tramp replied,
gpt
And you couldn't get any more work there at all?
human
Not there, or at any place in the district. Or, for that matter, in any place in the United States unless I gave a false name. Steel workin' is my trade, an' I don't know any other; the men that run that trade in the United States refuse to let me work at it; very well, then, if the country won't let me earn my livin' by working for it, it'll have to give me a livin' without. But I'd go to work to-morrow, if I had the chance.
gpt
Not me, began 'Jolly Joe,' as soon as the tall tramp had finished,
human
I'd sooner be a hobo th'n anythin' else I know. In the first place, I'm not like 'Hatchet Ben,' I don't like work an' I don't do any unless I have to, an' then besides, there's more exercise for my talents in this business. If you think it isn't a trick to rustle grub for three hungry men, just you try it. An' while I've been on the road for nearly six years, I've never had a dog set on me yet.
gpt
How do you mean?
human
There's always grub on a farm if you know the right way to go about getting it, was the reply
gpt
But you don't rustle tea that way,
human
I am not without some small means, explained the 'Windy Duke,'
gpt
But you didn't tell me, said Hamilton, turning to 'Jolly Joe,'
human
I'll make the story short, was the reply.
gpt
I'm a railroad section hand, an' was lookin' to be made a foreman on a section near New York. I had a pile of friends among the men just above me, and I believe I would have worked up pretty rapidly.
human
You would be president of the road by now, 'Jolly,'
gpt
I'd be goin' up, anyhow, the other replied.
human
But one day an order came along from headquarters changin' the make-up of the gangs, an' next week I found myself the only American on an Italian gang, under an Italian foreman. All of us were shifted around the same way. The foreman knew a little English--not much--an' he tried to give me orders in mixed English an' Italian. I told him I wouldn't do anythin' I wasn't told to do in straight American, an' when he started in jabberin' and abusin' me with every bad name he'd heard since he landed, why, I gave him a hammerin'. So, just as 'Hatchet Ben' here was driven out by Slovaks, it was a gang of Italians that gave me my throw-down. I tell you America's all right for everybody but the American He doesn't stand a show.
gpt
That sounds hard for the American working-man, the boy said,
human
The back-country farmer is an American nearly every time, 'Hatchet Ben' replied,
gpt
I think I know the reason of that, volunteered Hamilton.
human
I heard some census men talking about it, and one of them had spent a long time in Italy. He said that while it was true plenty of the peasants worked in the fields, they usually lived together in villages and went to the fields in the morning. Then the farms are very small,--our average-sized farm here would make five or six of them,--and so the village idea can't be made to work in this country, and the Italians won't stand for being separated from the nearest neighbor by a mile or two.
gpt
I can quite understand that, the Englishman said thoughtfully;
human
It may be rather pleasant, Hamilton admitted slipping back into his pocket the necessary details for the schedule which he had secured from the three men while breakfast was being prepared,
gpt
Well, the other replied, as Hamilton strolled over to his mare and lightly swung himself in the saddle,
human
And mighty good it was, the boy replied,
gpt
I don't know when I've enjoyed a meal so much. I'm ever so much obliged, boys. Good-by.
human
Nearly all hoboes are Americans