human
Yes, my child. He will stay. He told your father he would stay.
gpt
That's very kind of him. He's very good.
human
Do you really wish him to stay? Remember how weak you are, Constance. If you are taking anything upon yourself out of a mistaken sense of duty, of compunction, you are not kind to your poor father or to me. Not that I mean to reproach you.
gpt
Oh, no. And I am not unkind to you in the way you think. I'm selfish enough in wishing him to stay. I can't help wanting to see him again and again,--it's so strange, so strange. All this past week, whenever I've caught a glimpse of him, it's been like an apparition; and whenever he has spoken, it has been like a ghost speaking. But I haven't been afraid since the first time. No, there's been a dreary comfort in it; you won't understand it; I can't understand it myself; but I know now why people are glad to see their dead in dreams. If the ghost went, there would be nothing.
human
Constance, you break my heart!
gpt
Yes, I know it; it's because I've none. She remains a little space without speaking, while she softly fingers the edges of the fan lying in her lap.
human
I suppose we shall become more acquainted, if he stays?
gpt
Why, not necessarily, dear. You need know nothing more of him than you do now. He seems very busy, and not in the least inclined to intrude upon us. Your father thinks him a little odd, but very gentlemanly.
human
I wonder what he would think if he knew that the man whom I would have given my life did not find my love worth having? I suppose it _was_ worthless; but it seemed so much in the giving; it was that deceived me. He was wiser. Oh, me! After a silence:
gpt
Mother, why was I so different from other girls?
human
So different, Constance? You were only different in being lovelier and better than others.
gpt
Ah, that's the mistake! If that were true, it could never have happened. Other girls, the poorest and plainest, are kept faith with; but I was left. There must have been something about me that made him despise me. Was I silly, mother? Was I too bold, too glad to have him care for me? I was so happy that I couldn't help showing it. May be that displeased him. I must have been dull and tiresome. And I suppose I was somehow repulsive, and at last he couldn't bear it any longer and had to break with me. Did I dress queerly? I know I looked ridiculous at times; and people laughed at me before him.
human
Oh, Constance, Constance! Can't you understand that it was his unworthiness alone, his wicked heartlessness?
gpt
No, I can't understand that. It happened after we had learned to know each other so well. If he had been fickle, it would have happened long before that. It was something odious in me that he didn't see at first. I have thought it out. It seems strange now that people could ever have tolerated me. Desolately:
human
Well, they have their revenge.
gpt
Their revenge on _you_, Constance? What harm did you ever do them, my poor child? Oh, you mustn't let these morbid fancies overcome you. Where is our Constance that used to be,--our brave, bright girl, that nothing could daunt, and nothing could sadden?
human
Dead, dead!
gpt
I can't understand! You are so young still, and with the world all before you. Why will you let one man's baseness blacken it all, and blight your young life so? Where is your pride, Constance?
human
Pride? What have I to do with pride? A thing like me!
gpt
Oh, child, you're pitiless! It seems as if you took a dreadful pleasure in torturing those who love you.
human
You've said it, mother. I do. I know now that I am a vampire, and that it's my hideous fate to prey upon those who are dearest to me. He must have known, he must have felt the vampire in me.
gpt
Constance!
human
But at least I can be kind to those who care nothing for me. Who is this stranger? He must be an odd kind of man to forgive us. What is he, mother?--if he is anything in himself; he seems to me only a likeness, not a reality.
gpt
He is a painter, your father says. Mrs. Wyatt gives a quick sigh of relief, and makes haste to confirm the direction of the talk away from Constance:
human
He is painting some landscapes here. That friend of his who went to-day is a cousin of your father's old friend, Major Cummings. He is a minister.
gpt
What is the painter's name? Not that it matters. But I must call him something if I meet him again.
human
Mr. Bartlett.
gpt
Oh yes, I forgot. She falls into a brooding silence.
human
I wonder if _he_ will despise me--if he will be like in that too? Mrs. Wyatt sighs patiently.
gpt
Why do you mind what I say, mother? I'm not worth it. I must talk on, or else go mad with the mystery of what has been. We were so happy; he was so good to me, so kind; there was nothing but papa's not seeming to like him; and then suddenly, in an instant, he turns and strikes me down! Yes, it was like a deadly blow. If you don't let me believe that it was because he saw all at once that I was utterly unworthy, I can't believe in anything.
human
Hush, Constance; you don't know what you're saying.
gpt
Oh, I know too well! And now this stranger, who is so like him--who has all his looks, who has his walk, who has his voice,--won't he have his insight too? I had better show myself for what I am, at once--weak, stupid, selfish, false; it'll save me the pain of being found out. Pain? Oh, I'm past hurting! Why do you cry, mother? I'm not worth your tears.
human
You're all the world to us, Constance; you know it, child. Your poor father
gpt
Does papa really like me?
human
Constance!
gpt
No; but why should he? He never liked _him_; and sometimes I've wondered, if it wasn't papa's not liking him that first set him against me. Of course, it was best he should find me out, but still I can't keep from thinking that if he had never _begun_ to dislike me! I noticed from the first that after papa had been with us he was cold and constrained. Mother, I had better say it: I don't believe I love papa as I ought. There's something in my heart--some hardness--against him when he's kindest to me. If he had only been kinder to _him_
human
Kinder to _him_? Constance, you drive me wild! Kind to a wolf, kind to a snake! Kind to the thief who has robbed us of all that made our lives dear; who stole your love, and then your hope, your health, your joy, your pride, your peace! And you think your father might have been kinder to _him_! Constance, you were our little girl when the war began,--the last of brothers and sisters that had died. You seemed given to our later years to console and comfort us for those that had been taken; and you were _so_ bright and gay! All through those dreadful days and months and years you were our stay and hope,--mine at home, his in the field. Our letters were full of you,--like young people's with their first child; all that you did and said I had to tell him, and then he had to talk it over in his answers back. When he came home at last after the peace--can you remember it, Constance?
gpt
I can remember a little girl that ran down the street, and met an officer on horseback. He was all tanned and weather-beaten; he sat his horse at the head of his troop like a statue of bronze. When he saw her come running, dancing down the street, he leaped from his horse and caught her in his arms, and hugged her close and kissed her, and set her all crying and laughing in his saddle, and walked on beside her; and the men burst out with a wild yell, and the ragged flags flapped over her, and the music flashed out -- She rises in her chair with the thrill of her recollection; her voice comes free and full, and her pale cheeks flush; suddenly she sinks back upon the pillows:
human
Was it really I, mother?
gpt
Yes, it was you, Constance. And do you remember all through your school-days, how proud and fond he was of you? what presents and feasts and pleasures he was always making you? I thought he would spoil you; he took you everywhere with him, and wanted to give you everything. When I saw you growing up with his pride and quick temper, I trembled, but I felt safe when I saw that you had his true and tender heart too. You can never know what a pang it cost him to part with you when we went abroad, but you can't forget how he met you in Paris?
human
Oh, no, no! Poor papa!
gpt
Oh, child! And I could tell you something of his bitter despair when he saw the man
human
You needn't tell me. I knew it as soon as they met, without looking at either of them.
gpt
And when the worst that he feared came true, he was almost glad, I believe. He thought, and I thought, that your self-respect would come to your aid against such treachery.
human
My self-respect? Now I know you've not been talking of me.
gpt
Oh, what shall I do?
human
If you please, Mrs. Wyatt, I can't open Miss Constance's hat-box.
gpt
Oh, yes. There's something the matter with the lock. I'll come, Mary.
human
Yes, go, mother. I'm perfectly well here. I like being alone well enough.