human
My dear Bartie! It is you, at last!
gpt
Ah! my love, you here! How good it is to see a face one recognises! Come and sit with me a little on this seat. (_They sit down._) What a lot you must have to tell me!... Well?
human
Well?
gpt
What a disenchantment, eh!
human
If we had only known!
gpt
If we could only send a messenger down to tell all those worthy people!
human
Well! and how about your theory of the ten tribes found? To hear you talk, my poor Bartie, there was going to be no room here for anybody but ourselves....
gpt
I can't make it out at all; it bewilders me. Just fancy, my dear, I arrived here last week in the company of a bishop. At the gate, Saint Peter asked us for our names and qualifications. I was not long getting through mine, of course; then up speaks the bishop, in his finest tones, and says: 'John Thomas, lord-bishop of * * *' 'Bishop!' replies Saint Peter, 'well ... never mind, you may come in all the same.' Now, what do you think of that _all the same_?
human
Insolent in the extreme. Ah! my dear, that's nothing.... Ever since I have been here, I have had constant mortifications; my nerves are irritated every moment by what I see and hear--it is to be hoped I shall get used to it--but it is very trying.... Turn this way.
gpt
What for?
human
Don't look, I tell you; there are the Watsons just passing; I don't want to speak to them.... Fancy their being here! I am sure I always thought they would be cooked! ... rolling in riches, and yet putting threepenny bits in the collection-box! ... and refusing to subscribe to the old spire restoration fund. They got in cheaply, and no mistake!... It is all very well to talk, but the best way of proving your interest in a good cause is to put your hand in your pocket.... Ah! one sees strange things here.... I hope you mean to speak at the meeting, Bartie dear?
gpt
What meeting, my love?
human
What meeting? Ah! my poor dear, don't you know anything about it? Really, one would think you had just fallen here from the moon.... How like you!... Alas! always the same apathy; you have not changed a bit. But thanks be, there are energetic people here, who have the grievances of their countrymen at heart ... we shall protest against the indifference that we meet with on all sides here. We shall call attention to all that we have done on earth, stand upon our rights, and get up a petition.
gpt
I suppose you belong to the organising committee?
human
I have placed all my energy at the disposal of the committee. Ever since I have been here I have been longing to devote my feeble powers to the revindication of our rights to the undivided heritage of the highest abode in the realms of the blessed.... Saint Peter, who, I am bound to say, is very obliging, has kindly consented to take the chair.... I have had such a great deal to do.
gpt
As secretary?
human
Exactly: the part of organising secretary is one that I have always had a great taste for, as you know ... one does not change at my age. Do you see all those people going towards the orange gardens? it is there that the meeting is to be held.... There are the Watsons coming back this way; ... they are evidently going to the meeting. Well, all I can say is, they must be bare-faced enough to go and protest ... however!... Look! positively, they have espied us.... Let us get up ... it is impossible to avoid them now.
gpt
Ah! it is our dear vicar! dear Mrs. Goodman, what a happy thing! at last, thanks to the initiative taken by zealous compatriots, we are to carry our complaints before the tribunal of justice.... In an hour the meeting begins.... Shall we walk together?
human
With pleasure.
gpt
On the way we shall be able to talk of old times and the friends we left in our dear little town.... Ah! Mrs. Goodman, they little dream of what we are doing on their behalf.
human
What impudence! _we_ indeed!