human
Collar him, Bob!
gpt
I’ll sit on him, said Eves.
human
Ring up the police station, Bob, and ask them to send a constable to arrest a burglar.
gpt
But are you sure—
human
Don’t argue, said Eves.
gpt
He’s a desperate character; I can hardly hold him.
human
Don’t you think, as it’s Mr. Noakes——
gpt
Mr. Noakes! The Mayor of Pudlington? interrupted Eves.
human
Picking locks! Nonsense! Ring up at once, Bob, and then come and help: the ruffian will be too much for me, just out of hospital.
gpt
They’ll send a man at once. He’ll be here in about ten minutes, he reported.
human
Are you sure it isn’t Mr. Noakes? I could have sworn I recognised him.
gpt
So I am—so I am, panted the prisoner, who had hitherto struggled in silence.
human
What the Turk do ’ee mean by assaulting me—murderous assault—Mayor of Pudlington?
gpt
Now, now, don’t be rash! said Eves.
human
You won’t make matters any better by pretending to be our worthy mayor. He won’t like that, you know, when you’re brought into court to-morrow. I shall have to give evidence, and when I tell him that the fellow caught rifling a drawer took his name in vain——
gpt
But I be the mayor—Philemon Noakes; and I’ll send you to jail for assault and battery, without the option of a fine. Let me go! I’m the mayor, I tell ’ee!
human
I really think he’s telling the truth,
gpt
You had better lie still, whoever you are! said the latter, warmly.
human
Violence won’t help you!
gpt
Of course not—only makes things ten times worse! said Eves.
human
Catch his legs, Bob; if he isn’t quiet we’ll have to truss him up. I never came across such an impudent scoundrel. Here’s a burglar, caught in the act, claiming to be the chief magistrate! That beats everything! How’s it possible? I say, Bob, there’ll be a queer scene in court to-morrow. Suppose it were true, I can’t for the life of me see how the mayor on the bench and the criminal in the dock are going to arrange matters. Will he hop from one to the other, and finally sentence himself? That’s a Jekyll and Hyde problem I can’t solve. But here’s somebody coming—the bobby, I expect.
gpt
Here he is, constable! said Eves.
human
He’s been struggling, but I dare say he’ll go quietly.
gpt
Now then, there, said the constable,
human
I do, said Eves,
gpt
Ay, sure, I’ve seed the gentleman.