human
Well, my dear love, were you content with your escort? You got home without accident, I fancy?
gpt
Oh! yes, he's a very nice young man; he brought me to the door.
human
Pardieu! did you suppose he would drop you half-way? You asked him to come to see us, I hope?
gpt
No, I didn't; why should I ask him?
human
You should have done so; it would have been no more than polite. Do you know, I like that little Callé; I should be very glad to have him visit us. He's a young man to whom one can safely intrust his wife.
gpt
Why, my dear, do you expect to send me about with another man often?
human
I don't say that; but there are unforeseen circumstances. For instance: we have tickets to the theatre; I often have them, you know, through my connection with the actors. Well, I can't go; or, at least, I can't go till very late; then what do I do? I ask Callé to escort you to the theatre, and I join you there when I have finished my business; do you see?
gpt
What! you would let me go to the theatre with another man? O Philémon!
human
But if I come and join you there, it's precisely the same thing as if I went with you! That sort of thing is done every day.
gpt
Well, I simply shouldn't enjoy it without you.
human
Don't you understand that I would come, too--later?
gpt
That isn't the same thing.
human
Oh! how far behind the times you are, my dear love! Luckily, I know that young man's address; he told us what it was: No. 8, Rue de la Tour d'Auvergne.
gpt
And you mean to go to see him?
human
His cousin was my intimate friend, and he can tell me something about him. Stay! I have an idea: I'll invite him to dinner; the fellow's all right socially, so that we can afford to receive him; he isn't like that scamp Dodichet--there's a man I will never invite! That was a neat trick he played on Mirotaine. But why is this Seringat, this Pontoise druggist, in Paris under an assumed name? What can he have done with his wife? If I had time, I'd go to Pontoise and find out.
gpt
You'd take me with you, wouldn't you?
human
Oh! there you are again! how amusing that would be! To stuff my wife in my pocket for a little trip of twenty-four hours, and double, yes, treble the expense! That would be downright idiocy. But, don't worry; I haven't the time to go to Pontoise.
gpt
My dear love, we shall have two people to dinner to-morrow; tell the cook to be careful with the dinner, and, above all things, don't forget the sweets; I don't enjoy my dinner, you know, unless I have sweets.
human
Yes, you have a very sweet tooth.
gpt
Every man who loves women must love sweet things.
human
Ah! you love them too well, you bad boy!
gpt
Sweet things?
human
No, women! If you loved only your own wife, it would be all right.
gpt
My dear love, I might retort: I love _crême au chocolat_! But if you should always give me that for dinner, I might get tired of it.
human
What does that mean? that you care no more for me than you do for a _crême au chocolat_?
gpt
That was a little joke. Think about your dinner for to-morrow.
human
Whom have you asked? My two dear friends, Madame Lambert and her sister, I am sure.
gpt
No, I haven't asked your friends. Madame Lambert takes snuff, and I consider it a detestable habit in a woman. Let her smoke, if she wants to; I can stand that; there are some very pretty women who smoke, nowadays. But to carry a snuff-box! horror! When she takes out her handkerchief, you would think you were in a porter's lodge. With her sister it's something else: whenever you look at her, she throws her head to one side and shakes it and blinks her eyes.
human
That isn't her fault; it's a nervous trouble.
gpt
I don't say it is her fault, but I don't dare to look at people who have that sort of trouble; I am always afraid that I shall do just what they do. I have asked two gentlemen to dinner; that will be livelier, not so strait-laced; we can laugh and enjoy ourselves. There'll be Bruneau, one of my fellow clerks in the department----
human
Oh! I don't like your friend Bruneau; he's good for nothing but to smoke and drink beer, and doesn't enjoy himself anywhere except in cafés. As soon as dinner's over, he'll want to go to the café, of course. So polite to me! If he would only go alone, I wouldn't care a rap; but he always takes you with him!
gpt
Oh! no, not always; only once in a while, to play a four-handed game of dominoes; he's very strong at it.
human
And who's the other?
gpt
The other--can't you guess? It's the young man who was obliging enough to escort you home the other evening--Monsieur Callé.
human
Have you been to his house?
gpt
I was on my way there when I met him. He told me all about his cousin, and we had quite a long talk; he seems a very pleasant fellow.
human
That's funny, for he hardly spoke a word to me.
gpt
He looks as if he was very bashful. However, I asked him to come to dinner to-morrow, and he seemed much flattered by the invitation.
human
What's the sense of having him to dinner?
gpt
My dear love, we must have a little company, deuce take it! we can't live like bears!
human
You never ask _my_ friends!
gpt
If there were any pretty women among them, I'd invite them fast enough, never fear! but they vie with one another in ugliness.
human
That does not prevent their being agreeable!
gpt
For my part, I find them mortally tiresome.