human
I must beg your pardon for what I said the other day. You are not a bit more cowardly than the rest of them.
gpt
If we could manage to define exactly what you mean by cowardice,
human
But you know perfectly well.
gpt
Well, then, is not this about your idea? When a man, either in politics, or in religion, or in any other serious matter, is not at all in accordance with the general tone of the society in which he lives--then, if he holds his tongue, it can be from no other cause than from what you are pleased to call cowardice.
human
That is exactly my opinion, and I maintain it is correct.
gpt
But, on the other hand, I am sure you must allow, continued Jacob Worse,
human
Oh, I know that miserable, cowardly excuse! broke in Rachel, abruptly.
gpt
I must, however, tell you, Miss Rachel, answered Jacob Worse, who was beginning to lose his self-control,
human
I could almost believe that you were speaking of yourself,
gpt
Yes, and so I am! answered he, hurriedly.
human
I have always been one of those heavy, slow-thinking people, but I have a quality which that kind of person would be better without. I am hasty. From my boyhood I have known it, and have kept it under to the best of my ability. But, notwithstanding my efforts, this hastiness sometimes gets the better of me, just when I am most in want of a little cool reflection. I lose my head, the words begin to flow like a torrent, and I listen to them myself almost with terror. Yes, you have heard me yourself on one memorable occasion, Miss Rachel, he added with a smile,
gpt
It is quite possible that the attributes of which you speak are most desirable, answered Rachel,
human
I will just tell you how my first attempt turned out, said Jacob Worse.
gpt
When I came home, which is now about two or three years ago, still breathing the comparative freedom of other lands, the first thing in our own country which attracted my attention was the exceptionally bad social condition of our labourers and mechanics. Their houses and food, the bringing-up of their children, their teaching and education, in fact, everything which belonged to them, fell far short of what I thought it ought to be.
human
I have often thought upon the same subject, rejoined Rachel.
gpt
But father says it is the fault of the people themselves; they are so greatly opposed to change.
human
That is one of your most excellent father's worst prejudices. However, I began by getting up a society, which with us is no easy matter. All went well at first, and then a president had to be chosen. Some one suggested myself, a proposition to which all the others agreed, which was quite natural. I thus became president, and took no little trouble in instructing the people as to what questions were important for them, and what were their requirements. Then I began to hear a whisper here and there that it was a curious thing that the president of the society had never been properly elected. I did not take much notice of these whispers, but still I suggested that there should be an election. The day came, and some one else was chosen in my place.
gpt
It was Mr. Martens, was it not?
human
Yes; you are quite right. I was greatly astonished, and did not attempt to conceal my feelings. Martens had not attended a single one of our meetings before the afternoon on which he was elected. I found the whole thing quite incomprehensible. However, in our state of society, it is not difficult to get to know anything if you only give yourself the trouble to make a few inquiries; and so I soon got a clear knowledge that the person who had got up the whole thing was the dean. So one day I called upon him.
gpt
No! I never heard of that! cried Rachel.
human
What did the dean say?
gpt
Nothing. The answer he gave me amounted to nothing. Not that I wish you to understand that he held his tongue. On the contrary, he talked incessantly in his best-modulated voice, and was smiling, friendly, in fact, almost appreciative, but not a single word fell from his lips that was really to the point. Do what I would, I could not get him to discuss a single question, or to give me a reason as to why he had got me turned out of the workman's society, and put his chaplain in my place. He denied nothing and confessed nothing, and the end of it was--there, again, my misfortune--I got so annoyed to see him leaning back in his chair, with his white hair and everlasting smile, that I got into one of my worst tempers and poured out a regular volley of thunder at him.
human
Well, and the dean--did he lose his temper?
gpt
I might just as well have tried to get a spark out of wood, as to get him to lose his temper. No; the dean was bland as ever, and when I left he shook my hand, and hoped he might soon have the pleasure of seeing me again. But afterwards I got well paid out for that visit.
human
How was that?
gpt
Well, you see, since then I seem to have been under a ban, which shows itself in all sorts of little ways--in business, in society, everywhere. My mother, poor thing, hears it in her shop from her customers, and it always takes the same annoying form: regret about modern disbelief, and free-thinking, and so on; and I am certain that most people regard it as a stroke of wonderful good luck, that I was prevented in good time from corrupting--yes, no less than corrupting--our noble workpeople. So I said to myself, 'Since there is such a wide difference between my opinions and those of the people whom I wish to assist, and since my nature is what it is, there is nothing else to be done but for me to keep myself thoroughly occupied with my work, and hold my peace.'
human
Peace! Yes, there it is again! said Rachel.
gpt
But no, no! I am sure you are not right.
human
Well, let me speak to you about yourself, Miss Garman, said Jacob Worse, becoming more courageous.
gpt
Neither I nor any one else of your acquaintance will be able to comply fully with the conditions you lay down. But I know one person who has the power, and that, Miss Garman, is yourself. You have all the qualifications we others lack.
human
I! a woman! and, worse than all, a lady! said Rachel, looking at him with the greatest astonishment.
gpt
And how, if I may ask?
human
You must write!
gpt
That is not the first time I have heard this. More than one person has mentioned it to me before. I suppose it is that authorship is reckoned as one of the bad habits of an emancipated woman.
human
I don't mind your calling me a coward, Miss Garman. But when you think, or pretend to think, that I am not speaking more seriously than some of these--
gpt
No, no; sit down, I beg you, said Rachel, anxiously, putting her hand on his arm.
human
I did not mean any harm, but I am so suspicious. I beg pardon. There, now, don't think any more about it. You really do think, then, that I ought to write?
gpt
I am quite sure you ought, answered Worse, who soon became quiet again.
human
You have so much originality and so much energy, that you will be able to overcome every difficulty, and in courage you are certainly not wanting.
gpt
But what have I got to write about? What do I know that the world does not know already? No, you really must be wrong, Mr. Worse. It is beyond me;
human
It is not very easy to say beforehand what your subject ought to be, said he;
gpt
You seem to be treating me more like a chemical equivalent than like a human being, not to say like a lady,
human
Let us be thankful that you have so little of the lady about you,