human
How the devil he came on board, and what money he had to pay his passage?
gpt
Not as the fair Cleopatra did to the great Cæsar, rolled up in a feather-bed; but under cover of a woman's petticoat, most noble Captain.
human
Have done with your d----d fooling! Who was the bold hussy that dared to smuggle you on board?
gpt
I never betray a woman's secret, returned the audacious youth, bowing very low, with an air of mock gravity.
human
God bless the dear sex, it has befriended me ever since I could run alone! Women have been my weakness from the hour that I had discrimination enough to know the difference between a smooth cheek and a hairy one.
gpt
And pray how do you intend to live?
human
Under the favour and patronage of the dear angels, who will never suffer their faithful slave and admirer to perish for lack of food.
gpt
I wish them joy of their big baby, cried the rough seaman.
human
A most hopeful and promising child he seems by this light! And your name, sir?
gpt
Stephen Corrie.
human
Your profession!
gpt
A saddler by trade, an actor by choice, a soldier by necessity. I hated the first of these, and never took well to the saddle. The second pleased me; but not my audience. And the last I took French leave of the other night, and determined to try how salt water would agree with my constitution.
human
How do you think a raw hide would agree with you?
gpt
He would be a brave fellow who would attempt to administer it, said Stephen, with a flashing eye.
human
But to tell you the truth, I had too much of it at home in the shop. It was my father's receipt for every sin of the flesh, and the free administration of this devilish weapon made me what I am. But softly, Captain. It is of no use putting yourself into a passion. You can't throw me overboard, and you may make me useful, since Providence has placed me here.
gpt
Confound your impudence! roared out old Boreas, in his stentorian voice.
human
Do you think that Providence cares for such a young scamp as you?
gpt
Doubtless, with reference to my improvement. And, as I was going to say, Captain, I am willing to work for my lodging. The women will never let such a pretty fellow as me starve; and the ship is not so crowded but that you may allow me house-room. Reach here your fist, old Nor'-wester, and say 'tis a bargain.
human
You can't help yourself, Captain, so we had better he friends.
gpt
And you have no money?
human
Not a sixpence.
gpt
Nor clothes?
human
None but of nature's tanning. I did not choose to walk off with the king's coat on my back; and these duds were lent me by a friend. You see, Captain, I am entirely dependent upon your bounty. You can't have the heart to be less generous than a parcel of silly women.
gpt
You may well say, 'silly women.' But, how the deuce did you escape my observation?
human
Ah, Captain, that was easy enough. I had only to keep on the blind side.
gpt
Well, sir, keep on the blind side of me still. Don't let me find you cutting up any capers among the women, or by Jove you'll have to swim some dark night to Quebec without the help of a lanthorn.
human
Thank you, Captain; I'll take your advice, and keep in the dark. If you want security for my good conduct, all the women in the steerage will go bail for me.
gpt
Pretty bail, indeed! They first cheat me out of my just dues, by smuggling you on board, and then promise to give security for your good conduct. But I'll take the change out of you, never fear.