human
From Rumour's tongues They brought smooth comforts false, worse than true wrongs.
gpt
Heard ye the news, neighbour Shakespeare? said Master Doubletongue the mercer, entering the small parlour we have attempted to describe, and joining the family circle.
human
Heard ye the news to-night?
gpt
Good or bad be it? said John Shakespeare smiling,
human
Nay, neighbour, returned Doubletongue, who was one of the veriest scandal-mongers in Stratford,
gpt
Dame Illwill hath not produced twins, neither do I think she will produce the half of twins. By the same token, I heard the Leech say, 'twas after all but a dropsy that had caused all this scandal in her disfavour. But body o'me, heard ye not the news just now brought to town?
human
That Dame Illwill's affair is likely to end in a bottle of smoke? why, man, thou hast just told us as much.
gpt
Ah, said Doubletongue, taking off his cap like one who found he had in him wherewithal to interest his auditor,
human
Then I take it, neighbour, said John Shakespeare,
gpt
Nay, said Doubletongue, who but half relished the lack of excitement his intended communication seemed to make,
human
Whose affair? interrupted John Shakespeare,
gpt
Did I hint anything?
human
About a certain female you did,
gpt
Of illustrious rank? said Doubletongue.
human
Why, then you _have_ heard?
gpt
We have heard what you have just told us,
human
The news?
gpt
The news.
human
What! of Queen Elizabeth?
gpt
Nay, Heaven forbid we should sit to hear such words uttered about our gracious Queen, said John Shakespeare with much solemnity.
human
Then of whom were we speaking? said Doubletongue.
gpt
I gave no news. I have none to give out concerning our gracious----
human
Of Dame Illwill, I thought you spoke?
gpt
Dame Illwill, said Doubletongue, contemptuously,
human
Stab her! said John Shakespeare,
gpt
I do, said Doubletongue;
human
Heaven forbid! said John Shakespeare, starting to his feet.
gpt
That would bode ill luck to England at this moment. Heard you this report, Master Cramboy?
human
Which report, and whence derived, neighbour? said Cramboy (who was master of the free-school at Stratford);
gpt
That relating to the death of the Queen by the hand of an assassin, returned John Shakespeare,
human
Where gott'st thou _that_ news, goodman Doubletongue? said the schoolmaster, with considerable asperity in his manner,
gpt
Nay, said Doubletongue, who stood somewhat in awe of the pedant,
human
I know no harm in relating what I have just heard from neighbour Suddle of our town.
gpt
Out upon the barbarmonger, said Cramboy,
human
He is ever inventing one lie or other; I advise thee to shut thy ears against all his monstrous conceptions, and thy door against his visits. Know'st thou not, simple mercer as thou art, that to imagine the Queen's death is treasonable as to attempt _her life_. Ergo, thou hast committed, or rather aided in spreading the contagion of matter containing treason, and art _particeps criminis_ with that lying knave Suddle, who goeth about seeking whom he may deceive.
gpt
Nay, said Doubletongue,
human
said Cramboy,
gpt
Body o'me, but that is it, then, is it? said Doubletongue:
human
So much the better, neighbour, said Cramboy;
gpt
One way or other, we shall at last learn the rights of this matter, said John Shakespeare, laughing;
human
At Delft, by the hands of a misguided fanatic, such is the awful story, John Shakespeare. For what saith the book? 'Villany that is vigilant will be an overmatch for virtue, if she slumbereth.' One Balthazar Gerard, a Burgundian, it seems has long entertained this design against the Prince of Orange, and, in order to destroy that famous restorer of religious liberty, has, at the same time, sacrificed his own life. On my word, continued the pedant,
gpt
And there it is, said Master Doubletongue,
human
Amen, neighbour, say I, returned Master Cramboy,
gpt
I trust no paid spy is to be found within my house, neighbour Cramboy, said John Shakespeare, laughing,
human
I meant nothing but in the way of caution to our good neighbour, said the pedant,
gpt
I think with you, said John Shakespeare,