human
Well, well, Malone said, brushing feebly at the smoke that still wreathed him faintly.
gpt
If it isn't Thomas Boyd, the FBI's answer to Nero Wolfe.
human
And if the physique holds true, you're Sherlock Holmes, I suppose,
gpt
Not exactly, he said.
human
Not ex-- And then it came to him. It wasn't that he was ashamed of smoking cigars like his father, exactly--but cigars just weren't right for a fearless, dedicated FBI agent. And he had just thought of a way to keep Boyd from knowing what he'd been doing.
gpt
That's a hell of a cigarette you're smoking, by the way,
human
It is?
gpt
Sure is, Malone said, hoping he sounded sufficiently innocent.
human
Smells like a cigar or something.
gpt
You're right, Ken. It _does_ smell like a cigar. He came over to Malone's desk, looked around for an ashtray and didn't find one, and finally went to the window and tossed the cigarette out into the Washington breeze.
human
How are things, anyhow, Ken?
gpt
Things are confused, Malone said.
human
Aren't they always?
gpt
Sure they are, he said.
human
I'm confused myself, as a matter of fact. Only I think I know where I can get some help.
gpt
Really?
human
Burris told me I might be able to get some information from a certain famous and highly respected person,
gpt
Well, well, Malone said.
human
Who?
gpt
You,
human
Oh, Malone said, trying to look disappointed, flattered and modest all at the same time.
gpt
Well, he went on after a second,
human
Burris thought you might have some answers,
gpt
Burris is getting optimistic in his old age, Malone said.
human
I don't even have many questions.
gpt
Well, he said,
human
Sure I do, Malone said.
gpt
You're looking into the resignation out there, aren't you?
human
Senator Burley, Boyd said.
gpt
That's right. But Senator Burley's resignation isn't all of it, by any means.
human
It isn't?
gpt
Not at all, Boyd said.
human
It goes a lot deeper than it looks on the surface. In the past year, Ken, five senators have announced their resignations from the Senate of the United States. It isn't exactly a record--
gpt
It sounds like a record,
human
Well, Boyd said,
gpt
Oh, Malone said.
human
But there isn't any Civil War going on now. At least, he added,
gpt
I haven't heard of any.
human
That's what makes it so funny, Boyd said.
gpt
Of course, Senator Burley said it was ill health, and so did two others, while Senator Davidson said it was old age.
human
Well, Malone said,
gpt
Sure, Boyd said.
human
The only trouble is-- He paused.
gpt
Ken, he said,
human
Mind? Malone said.
gpt
Not at all. Not at all. He blinked.
human
Besides, he added,
gpt
Well, the last one did, Boyd said. He took a cigarette out of a pack in his pocket, and lit it. He sniffed.
human
You know, he said,
gpt
You're right. This one doesn't.
human
I told you, Malone said.
gpt
Must have been a bad cigarette. Spoiled or something.
human
Vaguely, Malone said.
gpt
I was busy last year.
human
Sure you were, Boyd said.
gpt
We were both busy getting famous and well-known.
human
Go on with the story,
gpt
Anyhow, we couldn't find anything really wrong, he said.
human
Three senators retiring because of ill health, one because of old age. And Farnsworth, the youngest. He had a nervous breakdown.
gpt
I didn't hear about it,
human
We hushed it up, he said.
gpt
But Farnsworth's got delusions of persecution. He apparently thinks somebody's out to get him. As a matter of fact, he thinks _everybody's_ out to get him.
human
Now that, Malone said,
gpt
Here's the funny thing, though, he said.
human
The others all act as if they're suspicious of everybody who talks to them. Not anything obvious, you understand. Just--worried. Apprehensive. Always looking at you out of the corners of their eyes. That kind of thing.
gpt
It does sound funny,
human
Well, I reported everything to Burris, Boyd went on.
gpt
And he said you were working on something similar, and we might as well pool our resources.
human
Here we go again, Malone said. He took a deep breath, filling his nostrils with what remained of the cigar odor in the room, and felt more peaceful. Quickly, he told Boyd about what had been happening in Congress.
gpt
It seems pretty obvious, he finished,
human
Maybe it's obvious, Boyd said,
gpt
But it is just a little bit odd. Fun and games. You know, Ken, Burris was right.
human
How?
gpt
He said everything was all mixed up, Boyd went on.
human
He told me the country was going to Rome in a handbasket, or something like that.
gpt
And he's right, Boyd said.
human
Look at the newspapers. Everything's screwy lately.
gpt
Everything always is screwy,
human
Not like now, Boyd said.
gpt
So many big-shot gangsters have been killed lately we might as well bring back Prohibition. And the labor unions are so busy with internal battles that they haven't had time to go on strike for over a year.
human
Is that bad?
gpt
God knows, he said.
human
But it's sure confusing as all hell.
gpt
And now, Malone said,
human
The Congress of the United States decides to go off its collective rocker, Boyd finished.
gpt
Exactly.