human
You will be quiet here, said his dragoman, drawing up two leather chairs to the hearth,
gpt
he added, as the Angel crossed his legs.
human
After our recent experience, I thought it better to bring you where your mind would be composed, since we have to consider so important a subject as morality. There is no place, indeed, where we could be so completely sheltered from life, or so free to evolve from our inner consciousness the momentous conclusions of the armchair moralist. When you have had your sneeze, he added, glancing at the Angel, who was taking snuff,
gpt
I shall make known to you the conclusions I have formed in the course of a chequered career.
human
Before you do that, said the Angel,
gpt
As to that, remarked his dragoman,
human
I shall confine my information to the morals of the English since the opening of the Great Skirmish, in 1914, just a short generation of three and thirty years ago; and you will find my theme readily falls, sir, into the two main compartments of public and private morality. When I have finished you can ask me any questions.
gpt
Proceed!
human
Public morality, his dragoman began,
gpt
In 1910, said the Angel,
human
I happened to notice that the Prussians had already perfected that system. Yet it was against the Prussians that this country fought?
gpt
That is so, returned his dragoman;
human
murmured the Angel;
gpt
Not in all cases, said his dragoman with a smile;
human
From conch, a shell?
gpt
Not precisely, returned his dragoman;
human
This is interesting to me, said the Angel.
gpt
To what did they object?
human
To war, replied his dragoman.
gpt
How entertaining! said the Angel.
human
Do such persons still exist?
gpt
Oh! yes, replied the dragoman;
human
The dragoman paused and fixed his eyes on the empty hearth.
gpt
I will not disguise from you, he added,
human
I wish I had been with you, said the Angel,
gpt
Sir, said his dragoman,
human
You alluded to courage and kindliness, said the Angel:
gpt
How do these qualities now stand?
human
The quality of courage, responded his dragoman,
gpt
Since we attended the Divorce Court, remarked the Angel with deliberation,
human
I have been thinking. And I fancy no one can be really kind unless they have had matrimonial trouble, preferably in conflict with the law.
gpt
A new thought to me, observed his dragoman attentively;
human
Quite! said the Angel, with relief.
gpt
I forgot to ask you this morning how the ancient custom of marriage was now regarded in the large?
human
Not indeed as a sacrament, replied his dragoman;
gpt
Of what nature, then, is marriage now?
human
Purely a civil, or uncivil, contract, as the case may be. The holy state of judicial separation, too, has long been unknown.
gpt
Ah! said the Angel,
human
In theory, sir, replied his dragoman,
gpt
Are children still born out of wedlock?
human
Yes, said his dragoman,
gpt
Society, then, is more humane?
human
Well, sir, we shall not see the Millennium in that respect for some years to come. Zoos are still permitted, and I read only yesterday a letter from a Scottish gentleman pouring scorn on the humane proposal that prisoners should be allowed to see their wives once a month without bars or the presence of a third party; precisely as if we still lived in the days of the Great Skirmish. Can you tell me why it is that such letters are always written by Scotsmen?
gpt
Is it a riddle?
human
It is indeed, sir.
gpt
Then it bores me. Speaking generally, are you satisfied with current virtue now that it is a State matter, as you informed me yesterday?
human
To tell you the truth, sir, I do not judge my neighbours; sufficient unto myself is the vice thereof. But one thing I observe, the less virtuous people assume themselves to be, the more virtuous they commonly are. Where the limelight is not, the flower blooms. Have you not frequently noticed that they who day by day cheerfully endure most unpleasant things, while helping their neighbours at the expense of their own time and goods, are often rendered lyrical by receiving a sovereign from some one who would never miss it, and are ready to enthrone him in their hearts as a king of men? The truest virtue, sir, must be sought among the lowly. Sugar and snow may be seen on the top, but for the salt of the earth one must look to the bottom.
gpt
I believe you, said the Angel.
human
It is probably harder for a man in the limelight to enter virtue than for the virtuous to enter the limelight. Ha, ha! Is the good old custom of buying honour still preserved?
gpt
No, sir; honour is now only given to such as make themselves too noisy to be endured, and saddles the recipient with an obligation to preserve public silence for a period not exceeding three years. That maximum sentence is given for a dukedom. It is reckoned that few can survive so fearful a term.
human
Concerning the morality of this new custom, said the Angel,
gpt
I feel doubtful. It savours of surrender to the bully and the braggart, does it not?
human
Rather to the bore, sir; not necessarily the same thing. But whether men be decorated for making themselves useful, or troublesome, the result in either case is to secure a comparative inertia, which has ever been the desideratum; for you must surely be aware, sir, how a man's dignity weighs him down.
gpt
Are women also rewarded in this way?
human
Yes, and very often; for although their dignity is already ample, their tongues are long, and they have little shame and no nerves in the matter of public speaking.
gpt
And what price their virtue?
human
There is some change since the days of the Great Skirmish, responded his dragoman.
gpt
They do not now so readily sell it, except for a wedding ring; and many marry for love. Women, indeed, are often deplorably lacking in commercial spirit; and though they now mix in commerce, have not yet been able to adapt themselves. Some men even go so far as to think that their participation in active life is not good for trade and keeps the country back.
human
They are a curious sex, said the Angel;
gpt
I like them, but they make too much fuss about babies.
human
Ah! sir, there is the great flaw. The mother instinct--so heedless and uncommercial! They seem to love the things just for their own sakes.
gpt
Yes, said the Angel,
human
What, then, is the present position of 'the good'?
gpt
There are a number of discordant views, sir, his dragoman whiffled through his nose in the rushing air;
human
The type is well known in the sky, said the Angel.
gpt
Tell me: Do they torture those who do not agree with them?
human
Not materially, responded his dragoman.
gpt
Such a custom was extinct even before the days of the Great Skirmish, though what would have happened if the Patriotic or Prussian Party had been able to keep power for any length of time we cannot tell. As it is, the torture they apply is purely spiritual, and consists in looking down their noses at all who have not their belief and calling them erratics. But it would be a mistake to underrate their power, for human nature loves the Pontifical, and there are those who will follow to the death any one who looks down his nose, and says: 'I know!' Moreover, sir, consider how unsettling a question 'the good' is, when you come to think about it and how unfatiguing the faith which precludes all such speculation.
human
That is so,
gpt
The right centre, continued his dragoman,
human
You are tolerant,
gpt
Sir, said his dragoman,
human
None?
gpt
Not the faintest, answered his dragoman.
human
These are the only true mystics; for what is a mystic if not one with an impenetrable belief in the mystery of his own existence? This group embraces the great bulk of the Laborious. It is true that many of them will repeat what is told them of 'the good' as if it were their own view, without compunction, but this is no more than the majority of persons have done from the beginning of time.
gpt
Quite, admitted the Angel;
human
I have observed that phenomenon in the course of my travels. We will not waste words on them.
gpt
Ah, sir! retorted his dragoman,
human
the dragoman added:
gpt
These innumerable persons have a secret belief of their own, old as the Greeks, that good fellowship is all that matters. And, in my opinion, taking 'the good' in its limited sense, it is an admirable creed.
human
Oh! cut on!
gpt
My mistake, sir! said his dragoman.
human
On the left centre are grouped that increasing section whose view is that since everything is very bad, 'the good' is ultimate extinction--'Peace, perfect peace,' as the poet says. You will recollect the old tag: 'To be or not to be.' These are they who have answered that question in the negative; pessimists masquerading to an unsuspecting public as optimists. They are no doubt descendants of such as used to be called 'Theosophians,' a sect which presupposed everything and then desired to be annihilated; or, again, of the Christian Scientites, who simply could not bear things as they were, so set themselves to think they were not, with some limited amount of success, if I remember rightly. I recall to mind the case of a lady who lost her virtue, and recovered it by dint of remembering that she had no body.
gpt
Curious! said the Angel.
human
I should like to question her; let me have her address after the lecture. Does the theory of reincarnation still obtain?
gpt
I do not wonder, sir, that you are interested in the point, for believers in that doctrine are compelled, by the old and awkward rule that 'Two and two make four,' to draw on other spheres for the reincarnation of their spirits.
human
I do not follow,
gpt
It is simple, however, answered his dragoman,
human
I cannot jest on such a subject,
gpt
No offence, murmured his dragoman.
human
The last group, on the far left, to which indeed I myself am not altogether unaffiliated, is composed of a small number of extremists, who hold that 'the good' is things as they are--pardon the inevitable flaw in grammar. They consider that what is now has always been, and will always be; that things do but swell and contract and swell again, and so on for ever and ever; and that, since they could not swell if they did not contract, since without the black there could not be the white, nor pleasure without pain, nor virtue without vice, nor criminals without judges; even contraction, or the black, or pain, or vice, or judges, are not 'the bad,' but only negatives; and that all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds. They are Voltairean optimists masquerading to an unsuspecting population as pessimists. 'Eternal Variation' is their motto.
gpt
I gather, said the Angel,
human
Rather, sir, that existence _is_ the purpose. For, if you consider, any other conception of purpose implies fulfilment, or an _end_, which they do not admit, just as they do not admit a beginning.
gpt
How logical! said the Angel.
human
It makes me dizzy! You have renounced the idea of climbing, then?
gpt
Not so, responded his dragoman.
human
We climb to the top of the pole, slide imperceptibly down, and begin over again; but since we never really know whether we are climbing or sliding, this does not depress us.
gpt
To believe that this goes on for ever is futile,
human
So we are told, replied his dragoman, without emotion.
gpt
It is not for me, said the Angel, with dignity,
human
No, sir, for it is always necessary to beware of the open mind. I myself find it very difficult to believe the same thing every day. And the fact is that whatever you believe will probably not alter the truth, which may be said to have a certain mysterious immutability, considering the number of efforts men have made to change it from time to time. We are now, however, just above the City Tabernacle, and if you will close your wings we shall penetrate it through the clap-trap-door which enables its preachers now and then to ascend to higher spheres.
gpt
Stay! said the Angel;