human
You have lost a good thing, sir,
gpt
In my opinion, the Angel playfully responded,
human
I won a better, for I went nap. What can a mortal know about the stars?
gpt
Believe me, answered his dragoman,
human
If he had taken religion I should have listened with pleasure,
gpt
Oh! sir, but in these days such a subject is unknown in a place of worship. Religion is now exclusively a State affair. The change began with discipline and the Education Bill in 1918, and has gradually crystallised ever since. It is true that individual extremists on the right make continual endeavours to encroach on the functions of the State, but they preach to empty houses.
human
And the Deity? said the Angel:
gpt
You have not once mentioned Him. It has struck me as curious.
human
Belief in the Deity, responded his dragoman,
gpt
It was a large order,
human
It was more a change of nomenclature, replied his dragoman.
gpt
The ruling motive for belief in 'the good' is still the hope of getting something out of it--the commercial spirit is innate.
human
Ah! said the Angel, absently.
gpt
Can we have another lunch now? I could do with a slice of beef.
human
An admirable idea, sir, replied his dragoman;
gpt
What in your opinion is the nature of happiness?
human
The question is not simple, sir, though often made the subject of symposiums in the more intellectual journals. Even now, in the middle of the twentieth century, some still hold that it is a by-product of fresh air and good liquor. The Old and Merrie England indubitably procured it from those elements. Some, again, imagine it to follow from high thinking and low living, while no mean number believe that it depends on women.
gpt
Their absence or their presence?
human
Some this and others that. But for my part, it is not altogether the outcome of these causes.
gpt
Is this now a happy land?
human
Sir, returned his dragoman,
gpt
Get on with it,
human
I will comply, responded his dragoman reproachfully,
gpt
We shall,
human
You ask me whether this land is happy; but must we not first decide what happiness is? And how difficult this will be you shall soon discover. For example, in the early days of the Great Skirmish, happiness was reputed non-existent; every family was plunged into anxiety or mourning; and, though this to my own knowledge was not the case, such as were not pretended to be. Yet, strange as it may appear, the shrewd observer of those days was unable to remark any indication of added gloom. Certain creature comforts, no doubt, were scarce, but there was no lack of spiritual comfort, which high minds have ever associated with happiness; nor do I here allude to liquor. What, then, was the nature of this spiritual comfort, you will certainly be asking. I will tell you, and in seven words: People forgot themselves and remembered other people. Until those days it had never been realised what a lot of medical men could be spared from the civil population; what a number of clergymen, lawyers, stockbrokers, artists, writers, politicians, and other persons, whose work in life is to cause people to think about themselves, never would be missed. Invalids knitted socks and forgot to be unwell; old gentlemen read the papers and forgot to talk about their food; people travelled in trains and forgot not to fall into conversation with each other; merchants became special constables and forgot to differ about property; the House of Lords remembered its dignity and forgot its impudence; the House of Commons almost forgot to chatter. The case of the working man was the most striking of all--he forgot he was the working man. The very dogs forgot themselves, though that, to be sure, was no novelty, as the Irish writer demonstrated in his terrific outburst: 'On my doorstep.' But time went on, and hens in their turn forgot to lay, ships to return to port, cows to give enough milk, and Governments to look ahead, till the first flush of self-forgetfulness which had dyed peoples' cheeks----
gpt
Died on them,
human
You take my meaning, sir, said his dragoman,
gpt
Beef and beer, for soon you must put up the shutters,
human
By the first standard, replied the Angel, with kindling eyes.
gpt
Happiness is undoubtedly nobility.
human
Not so fast, sir, replied his dragoman;
gpt
Hold! exclaimed the Angel:
human
This is blasphemy against Olympus, 'The Spectator,' and other High-Brows.
gpt
Sir, replied his dragoman gravely,
human
I am not one of those who accept gilded doctrines without examination; I read in the Book of Life rather than in the million tomes written by men to get away from their own unhappiness.
gpt
I perceive, said the Angel, with a shrewd glance,
human
My conclusion is this, sir, returned his dragoman, well pleased:
gpt
Man is only happy when he is living at a certain pressure of life to the square inch; in other words, when he is so absorbed in what he is doing, making, saying, thinking, or dreaming, that he has lost self-consciousness. If there be upon him any ill--such as toothache or moody meditation--so poignant as to prevent him losing himself in the interest of the moment, then he is not happy. Nor must he merely think himself absorbed, but actually be so, as are two lovers sitting under one umbrella, or he who is just making a couplet rhyme.
human
Would you say, then, insinuated the Angel,
gpt
It does not follow, responded his dragoman;
human
he proceeded,
gpt
Love is commonly reputed by some, and power by others, to be the keys of happiness,
human
Duds, broke in his dragoman.
gpt
For love and power are only two of the various paths to absorption, or unconsciousness of self; mere methods by which men of differing natures succeed in losing their self-consciousness, for he who, like Saint Francis, loves all creation, has no time to be conscious of loving himself, and he who rattles the sword and rules like Bill Kaser, has no time to be conscious that he is not ruling himself. I do not deny that such men may be happy, but not because of the love or the power. No, it is because they are loving or ruling with such intensity that they forget themselves in doing it.
human
There is much in what you say, said the Angel thoughtfully.
gpt
How do you apply it to the times and land in which you live?
human
Sir, his dragoman responded,
gpt
Then democracy is not synonymous with happiness?
human
Dear sir, replied his dragoman,
gpt
I know they said so at the time of the Great Skirmish. But they said so much that one little one like that hardly counted. I will let you into a secret. We have not yet achieved democracy, either here or anywhere else. The old American saying about it is all very well, but since not one man in ten has any real opinion of his own on any subject on which he votes, he cannot, with the best will in the world, put it on record. Not until he learns to have and record his own real opinion will he truly govern himself for himself, which is, as you know, the test of true democracy.
human
I am getting fuddled, said the Angel.
gpt
What is it you want to make you happy?
human
If I am right, he purred,
gpt
That sounds a bit of all right, said the Angel.
human
What measures are being taken in these directions?
gpt
It has been my habit, sir, to study the Education Acts of my country ever since that which was passed at the time of the Great Skirmish; but, with the exception of exercise, I have not as yet been able to find any direct allusion to these matters. Nor is this surprising when you consider that education is popularly supposed to be, not for the acquisition of happiness, but for the good of trade or the promotion of acute self-consciousness through what we know as culture. If by any chance there should arise a President of Education so enlightened as to share my views, it would be impossible for him to mention the fact for fear of being sent to Colney Hatch.
human
In that case, asked the Angel,
gpt
Sir, his dragoman replied earnestly,
human
I have a certain sympathy with that, said the Angel, with a yawn;
gpt
So we have found; and our country has got along, perhaps, as well as one could have expected, considering what it has had to contend with: pressure of debt; primrose paths; pelf; party; patrio-Prussianism; the people; pundits; Puritans; proctors; property; philosophers; the Pontifical; and progress. I will not disguise from you, however, that we are far from perfection; and it may be that on your next visit, thirty-seven years hence, we shall be further. For, however it may be with angels, sir, with men things do not stand still; and, as I have tried to make clear to you, in order to advance in body and spirit, it is necessary to be masters of your environment and discoveries instead of letting them be masters of you. Wealthy again we may be; healthy and happy we are not, as yet.
human
I have finished my beer, said the Angel Æthereal, with finality,
gpt
Pulling a quill from his wing, he dipped it in the mustard and wrote:
human
A Dry Dog--No Good For Trade on his dragoman's white hat.
gpt
I shall now leave the earth,
human
I am pleased to hear it, said his dragoman,
gpt
Meet me by sunlight alone, he said,