human
As I was saying, he continued, turning again to my partner,
gpt
Ho-ho! remarked Gottlieb.
human
The old story.
gpt
The same little old story, assented Dillingham.
human
Take a cigar?
gpt
Now, the fact of the matter is, continued he,
human
Well, as luck would have it, my Uncle John died just about that time and left me ten thousand dollars and I started in to make her my own by getting her a divorce. Now, this husband of hers was a wretched fellow--the son of a neighbor--who never got beyond being a waiter in a railroad station. Say, it is rather rough, eh? To think of me, Dillingham, of Dillingham, Hodges & Flynn, the biggest independent steel man in the State, tied up to a pale-faced woman who can't speak the King's English properly and whose first husband is a waiter--yes, a waiter to-day, understand, in a railroad restaurant at Baltimore! It makes me sick every time I go to Washington. I can't eat--fact! So I hired a lawyer for her--you know him, I guess--Bunce. Oscar Willoughby Bunce! And he prepared divorce papers--Oh, we had cause enough! And the next time Hawkins --that was the husband's name, Arthur P. Hawkins--came over to New York, to borrow some money from his wife, Bunce slapped a summons on him. It makes me squirm to think how delighted I was to know we had actually begun our case. Hawkins hired a lawyer, I believe, and pretended he was going to put up a defence, but I bought him off and we got our decree by default. Then, gentlemen --Dillingham paused with a wry face--
gpt
I had the inestimable privilege of marrying my present wife!
human
Curious, isn't it--the fascination of the stage? You, gentlemen, probably have observed it even more than I have; but when he sees a slim girl with yellow curls capering around in tights behind the footlights, a young man's imagination runs riot and he fancies her the incarnation of coquetry and the personification of vivacious loveliness. I admit it--the present Mrs. Dillingham was a dancer. On the stage she used to ogle me out of my shoes and off it she'd help me spend my money and drink my wine and jolly me up to beat the cars; but once I'd married her she changed completely. Instead of a dashing, snappy, tantalizing sort of a little Yum-Yum, she turned religious and settled down so you wouldn't have known her. There was nothing in it. Instead of a peach I had acquired a lemon. I expected champagne and found I was drinking buttermilk. Get me? You would never have guessed she'd been inside a theatre in her life. Well, we got along the best we could and she made a hit at the church, as a brand plucked from the burning. Used to tell her experiences Friday nights and have all the parsons up to five- o'clock tea. Meanwhile I forgot my romantic dreams of flashing eyes and twinkling feet and began to get interested in business. To-day I'm worth real money and am on top of the heap downtown; but socially--Good Lord! the woman's a millstone! She's grown fat and talks through her nose, and--
gpt
You want to get rid of her,
human
Exactly! answered Dillingham.
gpt
How much will it cost?
human
I think you had better give me your check for ten thousand dollars to begin with, replied my partner.
gpt
Such a case presents great difficulties--almost insuperable without money. I am not even sure that what you want can be accomplished without running grave personal risks--not on your part, but on ours. Such risks must be compensated for. What you desire, I take it, is to have your marriage annulled. To do that it will be necessary to prove that the divorce procured by Mrs. Dillingham from her former husband, Hawkins, was improperly and illegally granted. We must knock out the decree in Hawkins _versus_ Hawkins somehow or other. To be frank with you, it may cost you a large sum.
human
It is worth it, answered Dillingham.
gpt
Free me from this woman and I'll give you twenty-five thousand dollars.
human
Make it thirty-five thousand dollars,
gpt
Well, then, thirty-five thousand dollars,
human
But you must promise to do exactly what we tell you!
gpt
I expect to,
human
Very good, then, said Gottlieb.
gpt
In the first place, the original decree is no good unless the summons actually was served on Hawkins and the suit properly commenced. Now, perhaps Bunce served the wrong man. He didn't know Hawkins. The latter was merely pointed out to him. Already I begin to feel that there is grave doubt as to whether the proceedings in Hawkins _versus_ Hawkins were ever legally initiated.
human
Hold on, Mr. Gottlieb! remonstrated Dillingham.
gpt
You want to go easy there. After Hawkins was served he retained a lawyer. I know that, dammit, because it cost me twenty-five hundred dollars to get rid of him.
human
What was his name?
gpt
Crookshank--Walter E. Crookshank--down on Nassau Street.
human
Luck's with you, Dillingham. Crookshank died three years ago.
gpt
You see now why this sort of thing costs money?
human
Say, he began,
gpt
It is taking no chance at all, retorted Gottlieb, his little eyes glistening like a snake's.
human
You have simply retained us to see if your wife's original divorce was regular--not to see if it was irregular--catch on? You tell us nothing. We ask you nothing. We make our investigation. Much to our surprise and horror, we discover that the defendant never was served--perhaps that he never even knew of the proceeding until years afterward. We don't know what you know. We simply advise you the divorce is N. G. and you ask no questions. We'll attend to all that--for our thirty-five thousand dollars.
gpt
Well, you know your business, responded Dillingham hesitantly,
human
Everything now depends on our friend Hawkins, replied Gottlieb.
gpt
We may be able to hand you your manumission papers in three months.