human
I understand that Cholly went hunting the other day. What did he hit?
gpt
Nothing.
human
Why, I heard he shot himself in the foot.
gpt
That's what I said.
human
Two wrongs don't make a right.
gpt
Yes, they do.
human
How so?
gpt
Why, some one passed a counterfeit five-dollar bill on me to-day; that was wrong. I gave it to my landlady for board; that was wrong, but it made me right.
human
It's all foolishness to talk about any one getting the worst of it in the matrimonial game,
gpt
How's that?
human
Marriage is always a tie.
gpt
exclaimed:
human
My Gracious! Won't even death stop that man's lying?
gpt
What I like about the Irish is that they are so modest and unassuming.
human
Holy smoke!
gpt
Fact. When an Irishman does anything great he does not go bragging of his ability as another man would. He merely brags about Ireland.
human
I had soup in a restaurant the other day and found an oyster in it.
gpt
Great Scott! That one oyster in the soup joke is old.
human
Yes, but this was tomato soup.
gpt
I was at a banquet last night. I just had a lovely time. We had everything a man could wish for.
human
Did you have any pale ale?
gpt
No; we didn't have the pail.