human
Simon, began Little Grand (my
gpt
St. John, first barbarized by Mr. Pope for the convenience of his dactyles and hexameters into Sinjin, being further barbarized by this little imp into Simon)--
human
Simon, do you want to see the finest woman in this confounded little pepper-box? You're no judge of a woman, though, you muff--taste been warped, perhaps, by constant contemplation of that virgin Aunt Minerva--Matilda, is it? all the same.
gpt
Hang your chaff, said I;
human
Precisely, my dear Simon; just what you are! responded Little Grand, pleasantly,
gpt
Bless your heart, I've been engaged to half a dozen women since I joined. A man can hardly help it, you see; they've such a way of drawing you on, you don't like to disappoint them, poor little dears, and so you compromise yourself out of sheer benevolence. There's such a run on a handsome man--it's a great bore. Sometimes I think I shall shave my head, or do something to disfigure myself, as Spurina did. Poor fellow, I feel for him! Well, Simon, you don't seem curious to know who my beauty is?
human
One of those Mitchell girls of the Twenty-first? You waltzed with 'em all night; but they're too tall for you, Grand.
gpt
The Mitchell girls! ejaculated he, with supreme scorn.
human
Great maypoles! they go about with the Fusiliers like a pair of colors. On every ball-room battlefield one's safe to see _them_ flaunting away, and as everybody has a shot at 'em, their hearts must be pretty well riddled into holes by this time. No, mine's rather higher game than that. My mother's brother-in-law's aunt's sister's cousin's cousin once removed was Viscount Twaddle, and I don't go anything lower than the Peerage.
gpt
What, is it somebody you've met at his Excellency's?
human
Wrong again, beloved Simon. It's nobody I've met at old Stars and Garters', though his lady-wife could no more do without me than without her sal volatile and flirtations. No, _she_ don't go there; she's too high for that sort of thing--sick of it. After all the European Courts, Malta must be rather small and slow. I was introduced to her yesterday, and, continued Little Grand, more solemnly than was his wont,
gpt
I do assure you she's superb, divine; and I'm not very easy to please.
human
What's her name?