human
And so, she said, turning her face to me suddenly,
gpt
And I was amazed to see that the brightness of her eyes was tears.
human
We've lived--five years.
gpt
You, I said clumsily,
human
Yes, she said,
gpt
I've done all sorts of things. One has to. Forced, unreal things for the most part. You I expect have done--all sorts of things also.... But yours have been real things....
human
All things, I remarked sententiously,
gpt
You've come back for good?
human
For good. I want to do things in England.
gpt
Politics?
human
If I can get into that.
gpt
I never meant you, she said,
human
I was frantic, I said,
gpt
And you forgot?
human
I did my best.
gpt
I did my best, said Mary.
human
And now---- Have you forgotten?
gpt
Nothing.
human
Nor I. I thought I had. Until I saw you again. I've thought of you endlessly. I've wanted to talk to you. We had a way of talking together. But you went away. You turned your back as though all that was nothing--not worth having. You--you drove home my marriage, Stephen. You made me know what a thing of sex a woman is to a man--and how little else....
gpt
You see, I said slowly.
human
You had made me, as people say, in love with you.... I don't know--if you remember everything....
gpt
I hadn't been fair, she said with an abrupt abandonment of accusation.
human
But you know, Stephen, that night---- I meant to explain. And afterwards.... Things sometimes go as one hasn't expected them to go, even the things one has planned to say. I suppose--I treated you--disgustingly.
gpt
Yes, she said.
human
I treated you as I did--and I thought you would stand it. I _knew_, I knew then as well as you do now that male to my female you wouldn't stand it, but somehow--I thought there were other things. Things that could override that....
gpt
Not, I said,
human
But in a man of twenty-six?
gpt
Things are different, I said, and then,
human
Yes. Anyhow now--if I may come back penitent,--to a friendship.
gpt
Yes, she said,
human
I've always had you in my mind, Stephen, she said.
gpt
When I saw I couldn't marry you, it seemed to me I had better marry and be free of any further hope. I thought we could get over that. 'Let's get it over,' I thought. Now--at any rate--we have got over that. Her eyes verified her words a little doubtfully.
human
And we can talk and you can tell me of your life, and the things you want to do that make life worth living. Oh! life has been _stupid_ without you, Stephen, large and expensive and aimless....Tell me of your politics. They say--Justin told me--you think of parliament?
gpt
I want to do that. I have been thinking---- In fact I am going to stand. I found myself hesitating on the verge of phrases in the quality of a review article. It was too unreal for her presence. And yet it was this she seemed to want from me.
human
This, I said,
gpt
Yes, she said.
human
And you want to take that line. The high line.
gpt
If one does not take the high line, I said,
human
Stephen, she smiled,
gpt
These are roughnesses of the surface.
human
Old Stephen! she cried with the note of a mother.
gpt
They will worry you in politics.
human
Perhaps I'm not altogether so simple.
gpt
Oh! you'll get through. You have a way of going on. But I shall have to watch over you. I see I shall have to watch over you. Tell me of the things you mean to do. Where are you standing?