human
I'm nearly starved. Just got in from a three-hour trip on the New York Central.
gpt
But couldn't you get anything to eat on the train?
human
Nope! It was a 'fast' train.
gpt
What do you think of the statement that there are three hundred haunted houses in New York?
human
Oh, replied Jones,
gpt
I saw a big rat in my cook-stove and when I went for my revolver he ran out.
human
Did you shoot him?
gpt
No. He was out of my range.
human
These wakes of yours are pretty boisterous affairs sometimes.
gpt
Av coarse! Sure, we hav' t' make a great noise t' wake the dead.
human
I see Dorkins has got all of his seven daughters married off.
gpt
Yes, but he took advantage of his official position to effect it.
human
How was that?
gpt
Why, he is chairman of the board of public works and he advertised for proposals.
human
Are your folks well to do?
gpt
No. They're hard to do.
human
If you should die, what would you do with your body?
gpt
I don't know.
human
I'd sell mine to a medical student.
gpt
Then you'd be giving yourself dead away.
human
I was at the track to-day, Percy, and there was a horse down there with the itch. He came up to the post, and they scratched him.
gpt
Yes, she is living under an assumed name.
human
Horrible! What is it?
gpt
The one she assumed immediately after her husband married her!
human
I hear the jail was afire this morning?
gpt
Naw; it was only a sell.
human
It doesn't do any good to scold the janitor about our cold rooms.
gpt
Yes, it does. I get all warmed up when I talk to him.
human
This liver is awful, Maud,
gpt
I'm very sorry, returned the bride,
human
I'll tell the cook to speak to the livery-man about it.
gpt
Who was the first one that came from the ark when it landed.
human
Noah.
gpt
You are wrong. Don't the good book tell us that Noah came forth? So there must have been three ahead of him.