human
What an extraordinary thing! said a voice.
gpt
And you've no idea whose it was?
human
Not the slightest, came the reply. There was a musical note in the girlish tone that would have attracted any one.
gpt
There it was, on the top of the car, when we got to the Berkeley. It wasn't such a bad hat, either.
human
Excuse me, said I.
gpt
It was a jolly good hat.
human
I say, are you there, Dot?
gpt
Yes, came the reply in an excited whisper.
human
Who was that speaking?
gpt
I've not the faintest idea, rejoined the first voice I had heard.
human
Somebody must have got on to our line. I expect----
gpt
Isn't that sickening? said I.
human
Now we shall never know what her theory was.
gpt
It's all your fault, whoever you are. If you hadn't butted in----
human
I don't know what you mean, I retorted.
gpt
I was ushered into your presence, so to speak, by _la force majeure_. French. Very difficult.
human
Well, when you heard us talking, you ought to have got off the line.
gpt
I should have, if you hadn't started disparaging my headgear. I repeat, it was a hat of unusual elegance. It had a personality of its own.
human
But it wasn't your hat we were discussing.
gpt
All right, I said wearily.
human
It wasn't. Have it your own way. Some other fool followed a silver-grey Homburg twice round the Park this morning. Some other fool----
gpt
But how did you know my number?
human
I didn't. I don't. I never could have been about to should. Negatives all the way. It's just chance, my dear. Chance with a Capital J--I mean C. D'you mind if I smoke?
gpt
Not at all, said my lady.
human
D'you mean to say you chased us all that way?
gpt
Further. And if it hadn't been for that fire-engine----
human
I remember. Wilkins turned down a side-street.
gpt
Exactly.
human
What a shame. Well, if you go to your hatter's you'll get it again.
gpt
Your ingenuity is only equalled by your consideration. Isn't that neatly put? You see, I'm writing a letter to _The Observer_, and, when I get going, I can just say things like that one after another.
human
How wonderful. But I'm afraid I'm interrupting you, and I shouldn't like to deprive Humanity----
gpt
Your name, said I,
human
Good-bye.
gpt
Please don't say that. We've only just met. Besides ... why was Clapham Common?
human
Clapham what?
gpt
No, Common. Why was Clapham Common?
human
Well, why was it?
gpt
I can't think, my dear. I thought you might know. It's worried me for years.
human
I've a good mind to ring off right away,
gpt
That would be cruel. Think of the dance you led me this morning. More. Think of the dances you're going to give me on Wednesday week.
human
Oh, you're going, are you?
gpt
If you are.
human
What as?
gpt
A billiard-marker in the time of Henry the Fourth. And you?
human
I can't rise to that. I'm going as myself in a silver frock.
gpt
Could anything be sweeter? A little silver Dot. I shall cancel the body-snatcher--I mean billiard-marker--and go as Carry One. Then we can dance together all the evening. By the way, in case I don't hear your voice, how shall I know you?
human
A dot, said my lady,
gpt
Possibly, said I.
human
It hath also a dear voice, which, though it be produced indefinitely, will never tire. All the same, in view of the capacity of the Albert Hall, you've not given me much to go on.
gpt
As a matter of fact, each of us is going as a parallel line. And that's why I can tell you that I like the sound of you, and--oh, well, enough said.
human
Thank you, Dot. And why parallel lines?
gpt
They never meet. So long.