human
Then, if so, why the cold, the mortifying reserve, you manifested when we met at dinner at my uncle's table?
gpt
Because I had also recollected that, degraded as I was, I ought not to seek the love of an honorable man, and that to win you to my interest would be of no avail, as, separated by the national quarrel, you could not, by possibility, be near to aid me in my plans.
human
Then, said Gerald reproachfully,
gpt
Nay, Gerald,--recollect, that then I had not learnt to know you as I do now--I will not deny that when first I saw you, a secret instinct told me you were one whom I would have deeply loved had I never loved before; but betrayed and disappointed as I had been, I looked upon all men with a species of loathing--my kind, good, excellent, more than father, excepted--and yet, Gerald, there were moments when I wished even him dead. (Gerald started)--
human
Matilda sighed profoundly, and then resumed.
gpt
Later however, when the absence of its object had in some degree abated the keenness of my thirst for revenge, and when more frequent intercourse had made me acquainted with the generous qualities of your mind, I loved you Gerald, although I would not avow it, with a fervor I had never believed myself a second time capable of entertaining.