human
I suppose it's the Clay heirs and the Rodman heirs you owe the money to?
gpt
And the Compton heirs, and old Miss Burnaby, and the two Misses Brown, and--
human
Haven't they anything left?
gpt
Oh yes. It isn't all gone, by any means. Then he added, as if to make a clean breast of the affair and be done with it:
human
The personal property--what you may call the cash--is mostly gone! Those that have owned real estate--like the Rodmans and Fanny Burnaby--well, they've got that still.
gpt
I see. She continued to sit looking meditatively down at the rug.
human
I suppose, she ventured, after long thinking,
gpt
Yes; in the main.
human
How many years would that be?
gpt
I'm not very sure; on and off, it's about ten since I began using some of their money to--help out my income. Latterly--you may as well know it--I haven't had any real income of my own at all.
human
So that their money has been paying for--for all this.
gpt
W-well! If you choose to put it so!
human
And for me, too, she went on, looking at him now with a bewildered opening of her large gray eyes--
gpt
I don't see any need, he said, with a touch of peevishness,
human
I don't see how it can be helped. It's so queer--and startling--to think I've had so much that wasn't mine.
gpt
You mustn't think it was deliberately planned--
human
And now the suggestion is, she interrupted,
gpt
I confess I don't follow you there, he complained.
human
If he doesn't--then I go to Singville.
gpt
Wouldn't you rather?
human
Would _you_?
gpt
Yes, papa. I _would_ rather--if I were you.
human
But since you're not me--since you are yourself--would you still rather that I went to Singville?
gpt
I'd rather pay--however I did it. I'd rather pay--in any way--than ask some one else to do it.
human
So would I--if I had only myself to think of. We're alike in that.
gpt
Do you mean that you'd rather do it if it wasn't for me?
human
I've got to take everything into consideration. It's no use for me to make bad worse by refusing a good offer. I must try to make the best of a bad business for every one's sake. I don't want to take Davenant's money. It's about as pleasant for me as swallowing a knife. But I'd swallow a knife if we could only hush the thing up long enough for you to be married--and for me to settle some other things. I shouldn't care what happened after that. They might take me and chuck me into any hole they pleased.
gpt
But I couldn't be married in that way, papa dear. I couldn't be married at all to--to one man--when another man had a claim on me.
human
Had a claim on you? How do you mean?
gpt
He'll have that--if he pays for everything--pays for everything for years and years back. Don't you see?
human
A claim on you for what, pray?
gpt
That's what I don't know. But whatever it is, I shall feel that I'm in his debt.
human
Nonsense, dear. I call that morbid. It _is_ morbid.
gpt
But don't you think it's what he's working for? I can't see anything else that--that could tempt him; and the minute we make a bargain with him we agree to his terms.
human
If we call the deal off we must do it with our eyes open to the consequences. Ashley would almost certainly throw you over--
gpt
No; because that possibility couldn't arise.
human
And you'll have to be prepared for the disgrace--
gpt
I shall not look on it as disgrace so much as--paying. It will be paying for what we've had--if not in one sort of coin, then in another. But whatever it is, we shall be paying the debt ourselves; we sha'n't be foisting it off on some one else.
human
Why do you say we?
gpt
Well, won't it be we? I shall have my part in it, sha'n't I? You wouldn't shut me out from that? I've had my share of the--of the wrong, so I ought to take my share in the reparation. My whole point is that we should be acting together.
human
They can't put _you_ in Singville.
gpt
No; but they can't keep me from sitting outside the walls. I shall want to do that, papa, if you're within. I'm not going to separate myself from you--or from anything you're responsible for. I couldn't if I wanted to; but as it happens I shouldn't try. I should get a kind of satisfaction out of it, shouldn't you?--the satisfaction of knowing that every day we suffered, and every night we slept through or wept through, and every bit of humiliation and dishonor, was so much contributed to the great work of--paying up. Isn't that the way you'd take it?
human
That's all very fine now, dear, when you're--what shall I say?--a little bit _exaltée_; but how do you think you'll feel when they've--when they've --he continued to speak with his eyes shut convulsively--
gpt
I shall feel as if the bitterness of death were past. But I should feel worse than that--I should feel as if the bitterness of both death and hell were still to come if we didn't make an effort to shoulder our own responsibilities.