human
Poor old Clithering is a bit of a bounder, he said.
gpt
Makes stockings, you know, Excellency. And Lady Clithering is a fat vulgarian. It's all she can do to pick up her aitches. I shouldn't think of stopping in their house if--
human
If any one else would give you food and pocket money.
gpt
There's that, of course, said Godfrey.
human
But what I was thinking of is the daughter. There is a daughter and she ought to have a tidy little pile. Now do you think it would be worth my while to marry into a family like that for forty thou.? Clithering ought to run to forty thou., with the title in sight. I wonder if you would mind sounding him, Excellency?
gpt
At present, I said,
human
I'm arranging about the fate of Belfast, which is rather an important matter in some ways. But--
gpt
I suppose, he said,
human
Quite, I said;
gpt
Then I think, Excellency, if you don't mind speaking to old Clithering--I wouldn't like to commit myself until I was pretty sure of the money. There's only one daughter, so he can hardly offer less than forty thou.
human
The Prime Minister, he blurted out,
gpt
Do try to be coherent, I said.
human
What did the Prime Minister say?
gpt
He said we'd leave Ireland with the greatest pleasure,
human
Is that all?
gpt
He added, said Clithering,
human
Out with it, I said.
gpt
It's far better to have no secrets. Godfrey, take down the Prime Minister's words.
human
He added, said Clithering,
gpt
Go on,
human
To hear that at the end of three weeks you'd all torn each other to pieces, and that there was nothing but a lot of trouser buttons left to show that Ireland had ever been an inhabited country. Of course he didn't mean it. If there was the least chance of any internecine strife our conscience would not allow us--after all we have a duty, as Englishmen--but there's no risk of bloodshed, is there, Lord Kilmore?
gpt
Not the slightest. I may take it then that your Government agrees to our terms. You cart away your army and all your officials, except the Lord Lieutenant. We want him. He's to give parties for the Dublin doctors and the smaller landed gentry.
human
But about his salary, said Clithering.
gpt
Is that to be an Imperial charge, or are you--?
human
I forgot to ask about that, I said,
gpt
I'm not sure of the exact figure; but I know it's never supposed to be enough.
human
I've no actual authority for saying so, I said,
gpt
When you speak of the English clearing out of Ireland, said Clithering,
human
We do,
gpt
You can't mean that, said Clithering.
human
It's costing us nearly two millions a year to run the country, and if that's withdrawn you will go bankrupt.
gpt
What McNeice said, I replied,
human
Tax-collectors! said Clithering.
gpt
I'm not sure--
human
Didn't your Prime Minister say he'd be glad to get rid of us? What's the use of your arguing on about every little point?
gpt
But, said Clithering,
human
Certain to, I said.
gpt
It will be one of the first things we do.
human
We can't agree to that, said Clithering.
gpt
Free Trade is a principle, a sacred principle with us. You can't expect--We are a Free Trade Government. Our consciences--
human
Very well, I said.
gpt
Go on with the war. Bombard Belfast. Kill another woman. Smash the Albert Memorial with a shell.
human
Our consciences--
gpt
Your consciences, I said,
human
Now take my own case, said Clithering.
gpt
I am interested, deeply interested, in hosiery. We do a big business in stockings.