human
Poor little thing! So she funked telling me.
gpt
She wasn't equal to it.
human
But you are. You're equal to anything. Aren't you?
gpt
One is generally equal to what one has to do. All the same, she added, with an impulse she could not repress,
human
I'm sorry to be always associated in your mind with things that must be hard for you.
gpt
You're associated in my mind with everything that's high and noble. That's the only memory I shall ever have of you. You've been with me through some of the dark spots of my life; but if it hadn't been for you I shouldn't have found the way.
human
Thank you. I'm glad you can say that. I should be even more sorry than I am to give you this news to-day, if it were not that perhaps I can explain things a little better than Evie could.
gpt
I don't imagine that they require much explanation. I've seen from Evie's letters that--
human
That she was afraid of--the situation. She hasn't changed toward you.
gpt
Do you mean by that that she still--cares anything about me?
human
She says she does.
gpt
But you don't believe her.
human
I'm not entitled to an opinion. It's something you and she must work out together. All I can do is to tell you what may give you a little hope.
gpt
Evie is afraid, she continued,
human
She wanted me to tell you that while the--the trial--and other things--are going on, she couldn't be engaged to you--I'm using her own expression, but she didn't say that, when it was all over and you were free, she wouldn't marry you. I noticed that.
gpt
I'm not sure that I catch your drift.
human
I mean that when it's all over, and everything has ended as you hope it will, it may be quite possible for you to win her back.
gpt
Would you advise me to try?
human
It isn't a matter I could give advice about. I'm showing you what might be possible, but--
gpt
No, no. That sort of thing doesn't work. There was just a chance that Evie might have stuck to me spontaneously but since she didn't--
human
Since she didn't--what?
gpt
She was quite right not to. I admit that. It's in the order of things. She followed her instinct rather than her heart--I'm ready to believe that--but there are times in life when instinct is a pretty good guide.
human
Am I to understand that you're not--hurt?--or disappointed? Because in that case--
gpt
I don't know whether I am or not. That's frank. I'm feeling so many things all at once that I can hardly distinguish one emotion from another, or tell which is strongest. I only know--it's become quite plain to me--that a little creature like Evie couldn't find a happy home in my life, any more than a humming-bird, as you once called her, could make its nest among crags.
human
Do you mean by that, she asked, slowly,
gpt
I mean that, Evie being what she is, and I being what life has made me--Isn't it perfectly evident? Can you fancy us tied together--now?
human
I never could fancy it. I haven't concealed that from you at any time. But since you loved her, and she loved you--
gpt
That was true enough--in its way. In its way, it's still true. Evie still loves the man I was, perhaps, and the man I was loves her. The difference is that the man I was isn't sitting here in front of you.
human
One changes with years, of course. I didn't suppose one could change in a few months, like that.
gpt
One changes with experience--above all, with that kind of experience which people generally call--suffering. That's the great Alchemist; and he often transmutes our silver into gold. In my case, Evie was silver; but I've found there's something else that stands for--
human
So that, she interposed, quickly,
gpt
It isn't a case for sorrow, he replied, after a minute's thinking,
human
I've travelled far since then, he continued;
gpt
I've _had_ to travel far. Evie hasn't been able to come with me; and that's all there is to the story. It isn't her fault; because when I asked her, I had no intention of taking this particular way.
human
It was I who drove you into that,
gpt
Yes--you--and conscience--and whatever else I honor most. I give you the credit first of all, because, if it hadn't been for you, I shouldn't have had the moral energy to assert my true self against the false one. Isn't it curious that, after having made me Herbert Strange, it should be you who turned me into Norrie Ford again? It means that you exercise supreme power over me--a kind of creative power. You can make of me what you care to. It's no wonder that I've come to see---- He paused, in doubt as to how to express himself, while her eyes were fixed on him in troubled questioning.
human
It's no wonder, he went on again,