human
But there are plenty of drawbacks,
gpt
Oh, no, not real ones! After this evening--well, I shall wish for your success. Till now I didn't care in the least. Indeed, I believe I hoped you never would have a great success.
human
Did you?
gpt
Yes. You've always been so horrid to me, when I always wanted to be nice to you.
human
Oh, but--
gpt
Don't let us talk about it. What does it matter now? I thought I might have done something for you once, have helped you on a little, perhaps. But now you are married and settled and will make your own way. I feel it. You don't want anyone's help. You've come away from us all, and how right you've been. And Charmian's done the right thing, too, giving up all our nonsense for your work. Sacrifice means success. You are bound to have it. I feel you are going to. Ah, you don't know how I sometimes long to be linked, really linked, to the striving, the abnegation, the patience, the triumph of a man of genius! People envy my silly little position, as they call it. And what is it worth? And yet I do know, I have an instinct, a flair, for the real thing. I'm ignorant. I can dare to acknowledge it to you. But I can tell what is good and bad, and sometimes even why a thing is good. I'm led away, of course. In a silly social life like mine everybody is led away. We can't help it. But I could have been worth something in the art life of a big man, if I'd loved him.
human
I'm sure you could,
gpt
And as it is--
human
Oh, do forgive me for committing the unpardonable sin--babbling about myself! You're the only person I have ever--Forget all about it, won't you? I don't know why I did it. It was the music, I suppose, and the strangeness of this place, and thinking of your work and your hopes for the future. It made me wish I had some too, either for myself or for--for someone like you.