human
When we began life together we worked hard and lived on porridge, and such like; gradually adding to our comforts as our means improved, until we were able to dine off a bit of roast beef, and sometimes a boiled chickie (chicken); but Jack, our son, he worked backwards and began with the chickie first.
gpt
Hang a thief when he's young, and he'll no steal when he's auld.
human
Put out that collie, he said, angrily. The shepherd, equally angry, seized the animal by the neck, and as he dragged him down the aisle, sent back the growling retort at the pulpit,
gpt
It was yersel' begond it!
human
I say, Jock, gie us some mair o' that _ginger yill_, will ye?
gpt
Weel, Jenny, ye are gaun to heaven, and gin ye should see our folk, ye can tell them that we're all weel. To which Jenny replied:
human
Weel, gin I should see them, I'se tell 'em. But you maunna expect that I'se to gang clank, clanking thro heaven looking for your folk.
gpt
The Flower of Dunblane, sir.
human
It's only, said the servant,
gpt
Weel, ye see, sir, said the old man, in explanation, making a motion with his thumb towards the grave,
human
Hearers Only--Not Doers
gpt
Brethren, when you leave the church, just look down at the duke's swans; they are vera bonny swans, an' they'll be sooming about an' dooking doon their heads and laving theirsels wi' the clean water till they're a' drookit; then you'll see them sooming to the shore, an' they'll gie their wings a bit flap an' they're dry again. Now, my friends, you come here every Sabbath, an' I lave you a' ower wi' the Gospel till you are fairly drookit wi't. But you just gang awa hame, an' sit doon by your fireside, gie your wings a bit flap, an' ye're as dry as ever again.
human
Do you know who I am? indignantly exclaimed the Highlander;
gpt
I am the McIntosh.
human
I don't care if you are an umbrella, replied the cabby;
gpt
I'll have my rights.
human
They tell me, John, you are getting money wi' her; you did so on the last two occasions; you'll get quite rich by your wives.
gpt
quietly replied John,
human
I want some pie,
gpt
Have patience,
human
Which would you rather have, Angus, said grandfather;
gpt
Pie,
human
But then, said his grandfather,
gpt
Well, said Angus,
human
Come, come, John, what's the matter now?
gpt
I canna get ma question richt,
human
What's wrong with it, this time?
gpt
I've gotten auchteenpence ower muckle.
human
Never mind, said a smart boy, in a loud whisper, with a sly glance at the master,