human
You don't know how sharp your elbow is, Mr. Harkins; and my ribs are real thin. I ain't used to such treatment, and it hurts,
gpt
I have heerd it was honly their shins as was tender hin Hamerica, said Mr. Harkins.
human
When are you goin' back to Hamerica, Mr. Toosypegs?
gpt
Not before a year--perhaps two, said Mr. Toosypegs, brightening suddenly up.
human
And I tell you what, Mr. Harkins, America is a real nice place, and I'll be ever so glad to get back to it. There was the nicest people round where we lived that ever was, went on Mr. Toosypegs, getting enthusiastic.
gpt
There was Judge Lawless, up at Heath Hill; and old Admiral Havenful, at the White Squall, and lots of other folks. Where I lived was called Dismal Hollow, owing to its being encircled by huge black rocks on all sides, and a dark pine forest on the other.
human
Pleasant place it must 'ave been,
gpt
Well, it wasn't so pleasant as you might think, seriously replied Mr. Toosypegs, on whom his companion's sarcasm was completely thrown away;
human
Wot ever made you leave sich a nice place?
gpt
Why, Mr. Harkins, I may tell you as a friend, for I know you won't mention it again, said Mr. Toosypegs, lowering his voice to a deeply-confidential and strictly private cadence.
human
My pa died when I was a little shaver about so-year-old, and ma and I were pretty poor, to be candid about it. Well, then, three years ago my ma died, too, which was a serious affliction to me, Mr. Harkins, and I was left plunged in deepest sorrow and poverty. The niggers worked the farm, and I was employing my time in cultivating a pair of whiskers to alleviate my grief when I received a letter from an uncle here in England, telling me to come right on, and, if he liked me, he'd make me his heir when he died, which was real kind of him. That's what brought me here, Mr. Harkins; and I'm stopping with my uncle and his sister, who is an unmarried woman of forty-five, or so.
gpt
Hand the hold chap's 'live yet?
human
Mr. Harkins, my uncle, I am happy to say, still exists,
gpt
Humph! 'As he got much pewter, Mr. Toosypegs?
human
Much what? said the mild owner of the freckles, completely at a loss.
gpt
You'll excuse me, I hope, Mr. Harkins, but I really don't understand.
human
Green, muttered Mr. Harkins, contemptuously to himself. Then aloud:
gpt
Well, about two thousand pounds or so,
human
Two--thousand--poun'! slowly articulated the astounded Mr. Harkins.
gpt
Oh, my heye!--w'y you'll be rich, Mr. Toosypegs! What will you do with all that there money?
human
Why, my aunt, Miss Priscilla Dorothea Toosypegs, and I are going home to Maryland (that's where I used to live, Mr. Harkins), and we're going to fit up the old place and live there. Aunt Priscilla never was in America, and wants to see it real bad.
gpt
Two--thousand--poun', still more slowly repeated Mr. Harkins.
human
Well, things is 'stonishing. Jest think hof me now, the honest and 'ard-working father of ten children, hand you won't catch nobody going hand dying hand leaving me one single blessed brass farden, while here's a cove more'n 'alf a hass. I say, Mr. Toosypegs, you wouldn't lend me a guinea or two, would you?
gpt
Why, certainly, Mr. Harkins, said Mr. Toosypegs, briskly, drawing out his purse.
human
I'm real happy to be able to be of service to you. Here's two guineas, and don't put yourself out about paying it.
gpt
Mr. Toosypegs, you're a brick! said Mr. Harkins, grasping his hand with emotion.
human
I won't put myself hout in the least, since you're kind enough to request it; but hif you'll come and dine with me some day, I'll give you a dinner of b'iled pertaters and roast honions fit for a king. Will you come?
gpt
Certainly I will, Mr. Harkins; and it's real kind in you to ask me, said Mr. Toosypegs, politely.
human
I see you're in a hurry, so I'll bid you good-day, now. Most certainly I'll come, Mr. Harkins. I'm very much obliged to you.
gpt
I was so young--I loved him so--I had No mother--God forgive me!--and I fell!