human
That man gives me a pain!
gpt
He thinks he's so doggone good himself that he has to pry into other people's business and get them in wrong. It beats me how he ever got to be a captain--a prim old fossil like him!
human
It might puzzle some people to know how you got your commission, Harry. You're no fossil, of course, but you're no angel, either, and there are some things in your career that aren't exactly laid down in military manuals.
gpt
Oh, my uncle Henry looked after my commission. It was a cinch! He thinks the sun rises and sets in me, and he had no idea how he perjured himself when he put me through. Why, I've got some of the biggest men in the country for my backers, and wouldn't they lie awake at night if they knew! Oh Boy! I thought I'd croak when I read some of those recommendations, they fairly gushed with praise. You'd have died laughing, Bob, if you had read them. They had such adjectives as 'estimable, moral, active, efficient,' and one went so far as to say that I was equally distinguished in college in scholarship and athletics! Some stretch of imagination, eh, what?
human
And the best of it is, continued the first lieutenant,
gpt
But your college records, Harry, how could they get around those? Or didn't they look you up?
human
Oh, mother fixed that all up. She sent the college a good fat check to establish a new scholarship or something.
gpt
Lucky dog! sighed his friend.
human
Now I'm just the other way. I never try to put anything over but I get caught, and nobody ever tried to cover up my tracks for me when I got gay!
gpt
You worry too much, Bobby, and you never take a chance. Now _I_----