human
Why are you here?
gpt
My father and I are on a journey down the river to visit Mr. Blennerhasset on his island. You know his castle there?
human
Why is it that you always come to torment me the more? Another day and I should have been gone!
gpt
Torment you, sir?
human
You rebuke me properly. I presume I should have courage to meet you always--to speak with you--to look into your eyes--to take your hands in mine. But I find it hard, terribly hard! Each time it is worse--because each time I must leave you. Why did you not wait one day?
gpt
Mr. Jefferson, how is he? he demanded at length.
human
You left him well?
gpt
Unchangeable as flint. You said that only the order of your chief could change your plans. I sought to gain that order--I went myself to see Mr. Jefferson, that very day you started. He said that nothing could alter his faith in you, and that nothing could alter the plan you both had made. He would not call you back. He ordered me not to attempt to do so; but I have broken the President's command. You find it hard! Do you think this is not hard for me also?
human
These are strange words. What is your motive? What is it that you plan? Why should you seek to stop me when I am trying to blot your face out of my mind? Strange labor is that--to try to forget what I hold most dear!
gpt
You shall not leave my face behind you, Captain Lewis!
human
What do you mean, Theodosia? What is it?
gpt
You shall see me every night under the stars, Meriwether Lewis. I will not let you go. I will not relinquish you!
human
What is it? he said once more, half in a whisper.
gpt
What do you mean? Would you ruin me? Would you see me go to ruin?
human
No! To the contrary, shall I allow you to hasten into the usual ruin of a man? If you go yonder, what will be the fate of Meriwether Lewis? You have spoken beautifully to me at times--you have awakened some feeling of what images a woman may make in a man's heart. I have been no more to you than any woman is to any man--the image of a dream. But, that being so beautiful, ought I to allow you to turn it to ruin? Shall I let you go down in savagery? Ah, if I thought I were relinquishing you to that, this would be a heavy day for me!
gpt
Can you fancy what all this means to me?
human
Yes, I can fancy. And what for me? So much my feeling for you has been--oh, call it what you like--admiration, affection, maternal tenderness--I do not know what--but so much have I wished, so much have I planned for your future in return for what you have given me--ah, I do not dare tell you. I could not dare come here if I did not know that I was never to see or speak to you again. It tears my heart from my bosom that I must say these things to you. I have risked all my honor in your hands. Is there no reward for that? Is my recompense to be only your assertion that I torment you, that I torture you? What! Is there no torture for me as well? The thought that I have done this covertly, secretly--what do you think that costs me?
gpt
Your secret is absolutely safe with me, Theodosia. No, it is not a secret! We have sworn that neither of us would lay a secret upon the other. I swear that to you once more.
human
And yet you upbraid me when I say I cannot give you up to any fate but that of happiness and success--oh, not with me, for that is beyond us two--it is past forever. But happiness----
gpt
There are some words that burn deep, he said slowly.
human
I know that I was not made for happiness.
gpt
Does a woman's wish mean nothing to you? Have I no appeal for you?
human
You can speak thus with me? he said huskily.
gpt
If you cannot leave me happiness, can you not at least leave me partial peace of mind?
human
And you say you will not relinquish me, you will not let me go to that fate which surely is mine? You say you will not let me be savage? I say I am too nearly savage now. Let me go--let me go yonder into the wilderness, where I may be a gentleman!
gpt
Sometimes, she said,
human
I have thought it worth a woman's life thrown away that a strong man may succeed. Failure and sacrifice a woman may offer--not much more. But it is as my father told me!
gpt
He told you what?
human
That only chivalry would ever make you forget your duty--that you never could be approached through your weakness, but only through your strength, through your honor. I cannot approach you through your strength, and I would not approach you through your weakness, even if I could. No! Wait. Perhaps some day it will all be made clear for both of us, so that we may understand. Yes, this is torture for us both!
gpt
Shannon, go get the men!
human
We are going to start? Shannon's face lightened eagerly.
gpt
We'll be off at sunup?
human
Before that. Get the men--we'll start now! I'll meet you at the wharf.