human
Why, what's the matter with you, Jack?
gpt
Nothin's the matter wi' me, old man--'cept--
human
Goin' mad, with over-fatigue,
gpt
Ay, that's it, messmate, clean mad wi' over-fatigue.
human
No, but really, Jack, what is it you're laughing at? asked Armstrong.
gpt
If there _is_ a joke you might as well let us have the benefit of laughing along wi' you, for we stand much in need of something to cheer us here.
human
Well, Billy boy, I may as well make a clean breast of it, said Molloy, raising himself on one elbow and becoming grave.
gpt
I do confess to feelin' raither ashamed o' myself, but you mustn't be hard on me, lads, for circumstances alters cases, you know, as Solomon said--leastwise if it warn't him it was Job or somebody else. The fact is, I've bin shammin', mates!
human
Shamming!
gpt
Ay, shammin' _weak_. Purtendin' that I was shaky on the legs, an' so not quite up to the cargo they were puttin' aboard o' me.
human
If what you've been doing means shamming _weak_, I'd like to see you coming out _strong_,
gpt
Well, p'r'aps you'll see that too some day,
human
But do you really mean that all that groaning--which I confess to have been surprised at--was mere pretence?
gpt
All sham. Downright sneakin'! said Molloy.
human
The short an' the long of it is, that I see'd from the first the on'y way to humbug them yellow-faced baboons was to circumwent 'em. So I set to work at the wery beginnin'.
gpt
Ah, by takin' a header, said Simkin,
human
No, no! returned the seaman,
gpt
But do you mean to tell me that the load you've bin carryin' is not too heavy for you?
human
That's just what I does mean to tell you, lad. I could carry a good deal more, an' dance with it. You see, they ain't used to men o' my size, so I was able to humbug 'em into a miscalkilation. I on'y wish I could have helped you all to do the same, but they're too 'cute, as the Yankees say. Anyway, Moses, you don't need to trouble your head when I gives you a helpin' hand again.
gpt
Ah, that expression, `a helping hand,' sounds familiar in my ears,
human
Yes, what do it recall, lad?
gpt
It recalls places and friends in Portsmouth, Jack, that we may never again set eyes on. You remember the Institoot? Well, they've got a new branch o' the work there for the surrounding civilian poor, called the _Helping Hand_. You see, Miss Robinson understands us soldiers out and out. She knew that those among us who gave up drink and sin, and put on the blue-ribbon, were not goin' to keep all the benefit to ourselves. She knew that we understood the meaning of the word `enlist' That we'd think very little o' the poor-spirited fellow who'd take the Queen's shillin' and put on her uniform, and then shirk fightin' her battles and honouring her flag. So when some of us put on the Lord's uniform-- which, like that of the Austrians, is white--and unfurled His flag, she knew we'd soon be wantin' to fight His battles against sin--especially against drink; so instead of lookin' after our welfare alone, she encouraged us to hold out a _helpin' hand_ to the poorest and most miserable people in Portsmouth, an' she found us ready to answer to the call.
human
Ah, they was grand times, these, continued the marine, with kindly enthusiasm, as he observed that his comrades in sorrow were becoming interested, and forgetting for the moment their own sorrows and sufferings.
gpt
The Blue-Ribbon move was strong in Portsmouth at the time, and many of the soldiers and sailors joined it. Some time after we had held out a helping hand to the poor civilians, we took it into our heads to invite some of 'em to a grand tea-fight in the big hall, so we asked a lot o' the poorest who had faithfully kept the pledge through their first teetotal Christmas; and it _was_ a scrimmage, I can tell you. We got together more than forty of 'em, men and women, and there were about three hundred soldiers and sailors, and their wives to wait on 'em an' keep 'em company!
human
Capital!
gpt
Good--good! said Molloy, nodding his head.
human
That was the right thing to do, an' I suppose they enjoyed theirselves?
gpt
Enjoyed themselves! exclaimed the marine, with a laugh.
human
I should just think they did. Trust Miss Robinson for knowin' how to make poor folk enjoy themselves--and, for the matter of that, rich folk too! How they did stuff, to be sure! Many of 'em, poor things, hadn't got such a blow-out in all their lives before. You see, they was the very poorest of the poor. You may believe what I say, for I went round myself with one o' the Institoot ladies to invite 'em, and I do declare to you that I never saw even pigs or dogs in such a state of destitootion--nothin' whatever to lie on but the bare boards.
gpt
You don't say so?