human
For myself, he said, putting out his hand and making a slight vain effort to get hold of hers,
gpt
I have only one wish in the world; and that is, to travel the same road with you. I do not say that you ought to wish it too; but you ought to know that I am sincere. When I spoke of the Melmottes, did you believe that I was thinking of myself?
human
Oh no;--how should I?
gpt
I was speaking to you then as to a cousin who might regard me as an elder brother. No contact with legions of Melmottes could make you other to me than the woman on whom my heart has settled. Even were you in truth disgraced,--could disgrace touch one so pure as you,--it would be the same. I love you so well that I have already taken you for better or for worse. I cannot change. My nature is too stubborn for such changes. Have you a word to say to comfort me? She turned away her head, but did not answer him at once.
human
Do you understand how much I am in need of comfort?
gpt
You can do very well without comfort from me.
human
No, indeed. I shall live, no doubt; but I shall not do very well. As it is, I am not doing at all well. I am becoming sour and moody, and ill at ease with my friends. I would have you believe me, at any rate, when I say I love you.
gpt
I suppose you mean something.
human
I mean a great deal, dear. I mean all that a man can mean. That is it. You hardly understand that I am serious to the extent of ecstatic joy on the one side, and utter indifference to the world on the other. I shall never give it up till I learn that you are to be married to some one else.
gpt
What can I say, Mr. Carbury?
human
That you will love me.
gpt
But if I don't?
human
Say that you will try.
gpt
No; I will not say that. Love should come without a struggle. I don't know how one person is to try to love another in that way. I like you very much; but being married is such a terrible thing.
human
It would not be terrible to me, dear.
gpt
Yes;--when you found that I was too young for your tastes.
human
I shall persevere, you know. Will you assure me of this,--that if you promise your hand to another man, you will let me know at once?
gpt
I suppose I may promise that,
human
There is no one as yet?
gpt
There is no one. But, Mr. Carbury, you have no right to question me. I don't think it generous. I allow you to say things that nobody else could say because you are a cousin and because mamma trusts you so much. No one but mamma has a right to ask me whether I care for any one.
human
Are you angry with me?
gpt
No.
human
If I have offended you it is because I love you so dearly.
gpt
I am not offended, but I don't like to be questioned by a gentleman. I don't think any girl would like it. I am not to tell everybody all that happens.
human
Perhaps when you reflect how much of my happiness depends upon it you will forgive me. Good-bye now. She put out her hand to him and allowed it to remain in his for a moment.
gpt
When I walk about the old shrubberies at Carbury where we used to be together, I am always asking myself what chance there is of your walking there as the mistress.
human
There is no chance.
gpt
I am, of course, prepared to hear you say so. Well; good-bye, and may God bless you.