human
Quite right, quite right, said Matilda;
gpt
Oh you story! exclaimed the empress.
human
Oh! you wicked young man!
gpt
Address the judge, please,
human
Oh, you wicked young man, repeated the empress, turning to the bench;
gpt
I'd like to scratch you, I would!
human
Don't do that, said Henry:
gpt
I get quite enough of that at home, I assure you. Anyhow, Nigger can chalk it down a lie for you, eh?
human
And one for me, too, please, said Stephen.
gpt
How can a fellow usurp what belongs to him?
human
Give it up, said Coeur de Lion.
gpt
Ask another.
human
Silence in the court, cried the judge.
gpt
Put it down, Nigger, and for mercy sake drive on, or we shall be here all night.
human
That's nice! said Henry, advancing.
gpt
Bad sons, indeed! Never had a better lot in all my life. Really, my lord, that ought to count for four lies right off. The idea of calling my Johnny a bad boy. Why, my lord, he was his father's own boy. You've only to look at him; and if he was a bit of a romp, why, so were you and I in our day.
human
Speak for yourself, said Henry the Eighth severely.
gpt
But what about Becket?
human
Ah, well, there was a little accident, I believe, about him, and he got hurt. But I assure you I never touched him; in fact, I was a hundred miles away at the time. I'll prove an alibi if you like.
gpt
No, no, said the judge;
human
That's eight, said the Black Prince.
gpt
All right. We only want two more. Go on.
human
Hullo, I say, said the judge.
gpt
That's pitching it just a little strong, isn't it? What have you got to say to that, Dicky?
human
Seems pretty square, said Richard modestly.
gpt
He doesn't say what a good dentist I was, though. My! the dozens I used to pull out; and--oh, I say--look here, he says nothing about Blondel, and the tune I composed. That's far more important than the Crusades. It was an andante in F minor, you know, and--
human
That'll do, that'll do, Dicky. We've heard that before, interrupted the judge.
gpt
Score him down half a lie, Nigger, and call up Johnny.
human
Well, I never! said John, foaming with rage;
gpt
What, eh? Read that thing? exclaimed Henry the Eighth, in horror.
human
You'd better try it on, that's all. Good gracious me, what next? I've a good mind to commit you for contempt of court. The question is, were you a wicked king? and did you lose your clothes in the Wash?
gpt
I am surprised and pained that your lordship should ask me either question. When I assure you, my lord and gentlemen, that a more dutiful son, a wiser monarch, a tenderer husband, and a more estimable man than the humble individual who now addresses you, never drew--
human
Teeth,
gpt
No, breath, continued John.
human
And when I further tell you that I never even sent my clothes to the wash, and therefore could not possibly have lost them there, you will--
gpt
All right, pull up, said the judge.
human
That'll do. Keep the rest, my boy. That makes ten and a half--more than we want. Now, then, the next thing is, what sort of execution shall we have?
gpt
Oh, please, said the ladies,
human
Eh, what? said Henry,
gpt
said he, addressing the twelve.
human
Go up to the Napoleon room and talk it over, and stay till I send for you.
gpt
Now, said the judge, evidently relieved,
human
But we've not had the verdict yet,
gpt
That'll do any time, said Henry.
human
Just as much fun to have it afterwards. Besides, it's a wonderful saving of time to get the execution over now, while we're waiting; and then we can go straight to the refreshment-room. Eh, girls? Eh, what? Ah, I thought so.
gpt
Oh, well, said Catherine of Aragon,
human
said Henry the First.
gpt
Like is only used when--
human
Hold your tongue, you impertinent, forward young man! said Catherine in a rage.
gpt
There, now! added she, beginning to cry,
human
I've forgotten what I was going to say, all through you!
gpt
I think, said Henry the Eighth, waving his hand for silence,
human
added he confidentially,