human
Fred?
gpt
Fred Mitchell,
human
Hey, Malone said. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
gpt
Fred, he said in a loud, reasonable-sounding voice,
human
That's impossible, Mitchell said in a flat, precise voice.
gpt
Simply impossible. It doesn't have a pig-Latin circuit. It can't possibly-- He blinked and seemed to see Malone for the first time.
human
Oh, he said.
gpt
Hello, Malone. What can I do for you?
human
I've been standing here talking to you for some time.
gpt
Oh, have you? Mitchell said.
human
I was busy.
gpt
I want you to help me check over some calculators, Fred, he said.
human
We've had some reports that some of the government machines are out of kilter, and I'd like you to go over them for me.
gpt
Out of kilter? Fred Mitchell said.
human
No, you can forget about it. It's absolutely unnecessary to make a check--believe me. Absolutely. Forget it. He smiled suddenly.
gpt
I suppose it's some kind of a joke, isn't it? he said, just a trifle uncertainly. Fred Mitchell's world, while pleasant, did not include much humor, Malone knew.
human
It's supposed to be funny,
gpt
It isn't funny,
human
Then they're obviously lying, he said,
gpt
Certainly,
human
How do you know?
gpt
It's perfectly obvious, he said in a patient tone.
human
Since the State Department translator has no pig-Latin circuit, it can't possibly be talking pig-Latin. I will admit that such a circuit would be relatively easy to build, though it would have no utility as far as I can see. Except, of course, for a joke. He paused.
gpt
Joke?
human
Sure, Malone said.
gpt
Joke.
human
Very well, then, he began.
gpt
Since--
human
Wait a minute, Malone said.
gpt
The pig-Latin is a joke. That's right. But I'm not talking about the pig-Latin.
human
You're not?
gpt
No,
human
But you said--
gpt
A joke, Malone said.
human
You were perfectly right. The pig-Latin is a joke. He waited for Fred's expression to clear, and then added:
gpt
But what I want to talk to you about isn't.
human
It sounds very confused, Fred said after a pause.
gpt
Not at all the sort of thing that ... that usually goes on.
human
You have no idea, Malone said.
gpt
It's about the political machines, all right, but it isn't anything as simple as pig-Latin.
human
I see, he said.
gpt
I understand just what you want me to do.
human
Good,
gpt
I'll take a team over to the Senate Office Building, Fred said,
human
Sure,
gpt
And it shouldn't take long, Fred went on,
human
How long?
gpt
Oh, he said,
human
Days? he said.
gpt
I mean ... well, look, Fred, it's important. Very important. Can't you do the job any faster?
human
Checking and repairing all those machines, he said,
gpt
Wait a minute, Malone said.
human
Check and repair them?
gpt
Of course,
human
But I don't want them repaired, Malone said. Seeing the look of horror on Fred's face, he added hastily:
gpt
I only want a report from you on what's wrong, whether they are actually making errors or not. And if they are making errors, just what's making them do it. And just what kind of errors. See?
human
But I can't just ... just leave them there, he said piteously.
gpt
In ... pieces and everything. It isn't right, Malone. It just isn't right.
human
Well, then, Malone said with energy,
gpt
I-- Fred hesitated.
human
I had planned to check and repair each machine on an individual basis--
gpt
The Congress can allow for a short suspension, Malone said.
human
Anyhow, they can now--or as soon as I get the word to them. Suppose you check all the machines first, and then get around to the repair work.
gpt
It's not the best way,
human
Is it the fastest?
gpt
Then it's the best, Malone said.
human
How long?
gpt
Tomorrow morning,
human
Fine, Malone said.
gpt
Fine.
human
But--
gpt
Never mind the buts, Malone said hurriedly.
human
I'll count on hearing from you tomorrow morning.
gpt
Oh-- Fred said.
human
All right.
gpt
And if it looks like sabotage, Malone added,
human
I'll ... I'll start right away, Fred said heavily. He looked sadly at the mechanism he had been working on, and put his screwdriver down next to it. It looked to Malone as if he were putting flowers on the grave of a dear departed.
gpt
I'll get a team together,