human
Will you leave that donkey alone, said Patsy Mac Cann to his daughter.
gpt
I never heard the like of it, he continued testily.
human
I tell you the way you do be going on with the ass is enough to make a Christian man swear, so it is.
gpt
You let me be, she replied.
human
If I was doing hurt or harm to you I wouldn't mind, and if I am fond of the ass itself what does it matter to anybody?
gpt
It's this way, that I don't like to see a woman kissing an ass on the snout, it's not natural nor proper.
human
A lot you know about natural and proper. Let you leave me alone now; and, besides that, doesn't the ass like it?
gpt
That's not a reason; sure it doesn't matter in the world what an ass likes or dislikes, and, anyhow, an ass doesn't like anything except carrots and turnips.
human
This one does,
gpt
And a body might be kissing an ass until the black day of doom and he wouldn't mind it.
human
This one minds.
gpt
Kissing an old ass!
human
One has to be kissing something.
gpt
Let you kiss me then and get done with it,
human
What would I kiss you for? Sure you're my father, and aren't you as old as the hills?
gpt
Well, well, you're full of fun, and that's what I say. Take the winkers off that donkey's face, and let him get a bit to eat; there's grass enough, God knows, and it's good grass.
human
What I wish is this, that Christian people were able to eat grass like the beasts, and then there wouldn't be any more trouble in the world. Are you listening to me, Mary, or are you listening to the donkey?
gpt
It's you I'm listening to.
human
I say this, that if every person had enough to eat there'd be no more trouble in the world and we could fight our fill. What have you got in the basket?
gpt
I've the loaf that I bought in the shop at Knockbeg, and the half loaf that you took out of the woman's window--it's fresher than the other one.
human
I was guided, said her father.
gpt
We'll eat that one first the way no person can claim it. What else have you got?
human
I've the white turnip that I found in a field.
gpt
There's great nourishment in turnips; the cattle do get fat on them in winter.
human
And I've the two handfuls of potatoes that you gathered at the bend of the road.
gpt
Roast themselves in the embers, for that's the only road to cook a potato. What way are we going to eat to-night?
human
We'll eat the turnip first, and then we'll eat the bread, and after that we'll eat the potatoes.
gpt
And fine they'll taste. I'll cut the turnip for you with the sailorman's jackknife.