human
Suppose you became ill and you had to leave the old scoundrels to their fate? What then?
gpt
That is provided for. If the Saltus Shelter is shattered, I will sit down and write your biography.
human
That will fall flatter. No one will read it,
gpt
Yes, they will. I will call it. 'The Annals of Ananias.' It will be your punishment for having written 'Madame Sapphira,' and people will fall over themselves to read it, for I will tell the worst.
human
Wow! Wow! Will you tell about the time I got a piece of chocolate when I thought I was securing an opera glass, and how I threw it away, hitting a bald man on the head?
gpt
Of course. Didn't I say the worst?
human
Surely you won't mention the time I kicked the dog and smashed up the cut-glass?
gpt
Yes, I will, and how you played the hose on poor Jean, and all the other demoniacal things you have done.
human
Wow--Wow,
gpt
You won't tell the worst really, will you, Mowgy? You will not mention the time I got squiffy, or the time I pretended I was a crazy man and miawed in the trolley car?
human
When I say everything, I mean everything.
gpt
Then you must tell about the time in Paris when you tried to murder me, and when, mistaking a strange man for me, you wrote him such a villainous letter.
human
Concerning these you are safe. There is too much about myself in those incidents to interest people. Like Cæsar, the good will be interred with your bones.
gpt
No one will believe there could have been such a demon. They will say the remarkable thing about it is that you have survived.