human
Bravo! bravi! This brings me back to life! I have just left a man who is not a man--he doesn't smoke! But here, on the contrary, I find women who are equal to any trooper; this sets me up again!
gpt
Ah! here's Dodichet! Good-evening, Dodichet!
human
Good-evening, my young fairies of the wings! have you any cigarette papers?
gpt
Oh! what a question! We would as soon be without bread!
human
True! my question was unnecessary. Your education is complete. Give me a few. What are you drinking there?
gpt
Grog at three-six----
human
I will take several glasses. Be good enough to mix me one, Rosa, while Boulotte, who has the knack of rolling cigarettes, rolls eight or ten for me. Ah! mesdemoiselles, I am thirsty for a smoke!
gpt
Well, I don't see that you've anything to do but open your mouth; there's no lack of smoke here.
human
You do not understand me, my gay young Andalusian; I mean that I am athirst to smoke, myself, and I have just been calling on a man who never smokes!
gpt
Mon Dieu! where was that bird raised?
human
He never goes out, he stays at home all the time; he is in love, he thinks of his charmer--that takes the place of a pipe.
gpt
Has his charmer been well seasoned?
human
I didn't ask him.
gpt
Well! tell us about the scene with the would-be husband at Monsieur Mirotaine's, the marriage _à la_ Putiphar.
human
Everything went off perfectly; but in the evening, a friend of mine, Phœbus Dubotté--I call him Phœbus because he's fair-haired and conceited--Phœbus arrived with his wife. It happens that he knows the individual whom I had introduced as an Italian count.
gpt
The man who lends you money because you know a secret that concerns him, and in whose presence we mustn't mention Pontoise?
human
The same; Boulotte, you have a memory like a creditor. But Phœbus mentioned Pontoise, and called my friend Miflorès by his true name. You can guess the effect produced by that recognition!--Pass me a cigarette.--The Mirotaines are furious, Putiphar would like an opportunity to horsewhip me. My false count ran away, and I took my leave, declaring that I proposed to run my sword through him somewhere. The dénouement of our comedy was hurried a little; but it had to come to an end some time, and I was beginning to be rather tired of the Mirotaine circle. Still, there were some excellent types there. A certain Monsieur Brid'oison, who looked on in admiration while his son performed gymnastic feats on everybody's shoulders; his wife ate her hair, and a sister of the host wept all the while because a pickled onion hit her in the eye.
gpt
And the dinner--was that good?
human
A miser's dinner. Wretched wines! no truffles! a _crême au camphre!_
gpt
With camphor instead of sugar; I don't advise you to try it; it isn't a satisfactory substitute. However, we did the trick; and I have just been to see Lucien, to tell him how I have helped on his love affair.
human
Did he thank you?
gpt
On the contrary, he scolded me, and preached me a sermon on tobacco!--Pass me a cigarette.--Now, I must find my Miflorès, for I need money. I have seen a dramatic correspondent, and he tells me that I am wanted at Quimper-Corentin, where they require a tenor _jeune premier_. I am young; I have an attractive countenance and a good enough voice! I can reach high _G!_
human
I am perfectly well aware, Mademoiselle Rosa, that _G_ is not _C_, or rather _do_, to speak more elegantly; but a chest _G_ is very neat, all the same; and, besides, if the audience isn't satisfied, I'll say: _zut!_ [you be hanged!] and they will be.
gpt
In what rôle are you going to make your first appearance?
human
In _Joconde_. I sing: _J'ai longtemps parcouru le monde!_ as if I'd never done anything else.
gpt
So they play comic opera at Quimper-Corentin, do they?
human
Why, my dear Rosa, where have you been? Don't you know that since the theatres were enfranchised they play all kinds everywhere? I have seen _Tartuffe_ in a barn, and _La Bataille de Pultava_ in a bedroom; the Russians hid behind a night commode, and the Swedes carried a chamber vessel with the bayonet. So there is nothing strange in their playing comic opera at Quimper. There's only one thing that makes me hesitate: the correspondent warned me that the manager doesn't furnish the costumes; and as I don't want to play Joconde in a frock-coat or an overcoat, I must buy a costume. I want it to be dazzling, gorgeous! That's why I need money, and I must find Miflorès.
gpt
But I thought you were expecting a legacy from an old aunt?
human
Yes, I still have that legacy in prospect; and that's the last! But the old aunt persists in living. That's why I must see Miflorès.
gpt
But by what spell do you succeed in making that man lend you money so often?
human
Ah! that is my secret!
gpt
But you'll tell us your secret, Dodichet, won't you? You'll confide it to us?
human
I will tell it to you, mesdemoiselles, when I no longer need to borrow money of Miflorès; when I have inherited from my aunt.
gpt
Oh! do tell us your secret, dear old Dodichet! We'll be very close-mouthed.
human
I do not doubt your discretion, mesdemoiselles! That's why I won't tell you anything more.