human
Why! I never knew before that you ever read anything!
gpt
Never did. But everything's changed now, isn't it, Toomuch? I sit and work here for hours every morning. It's become a delight to me. After all, said Abdul, lighting a big cigar and sticking up his feet on his pile of papers with an air of the deepest comfort,
human
What are you working at?
gpt
Reconstruction, said the little man, puffing a big cloud from his cigar,
human
What kind of reconstruction?
gpt
All kinds--financial, industrial, political, social. It's great stuff. By the way, he continued with great animation,
human
No, no, I said,
gpt
Workingmen, said the Sultan, very cheerfully,
human
So you are having labour troubles here too?
gpt
Labour troubles! exclaimed the little Sultan rolling up his eyes.
human
I should say so. The whole of Turkey is bubbling with labour unrest like the rosewater in a narghile. Look at your tablets, Toomuch, and tell me what new strikes there have been this morning.
gpt
Truly will I try with the aid of Allah--
human
Now, now, said Abdul, warningly,
gpt
The strikes of to-day comprise--the wig-makers, the dog fanciers, the conjurers, the snake charmers, and the soothsayers.
human
You hear that, said Abdul proudly.
gpt
That represents some of the most skilled labour in Turkey.
human
I suppose it does, I said,
gpt
My dear sir, my dear sir! he laughed,
human
But who then, I asked,
gpt
Look on the tablets, Toomuch, and see.
human
The following, O all highest, still work--the beggars, the poets, the missionaries, the Salvation Army, and the instructors of the Youths of Light in the American Presbyterian College.
gpt
But, dear me, Abdul, I exclaimed,
human
Pooh, pooh, said the Sultan.
gpt
The interest on our debt alone is two billion a year. Everybody in Turkey, great or small, holds bonds to some extent. At the worst they can all live fairly well on the interest. This is finance, is it not, Toomuch Koffi?
human
The very best and latest,
gpt
But what steps are you taking, I asked,
human
We are appointing commissions, said Abdul.
gpt
We appoint one for each new labour problem. How many yesterday, Toomuch?
human
Forty-three,
gpt
That's below our average, is it not? said Abdul a little anxiously.
human
Try to keep it up to fifty if you can.
gpt
And these commissions, what do they do?
human
They make Reports, said Abdul, beginning to yawn as if the continued brain exercise of conversation were fatiguing his intellect,
gpt
human
And what do they recommend?
gpt
I don't know, said the Sultan.
human
We don't read them for that. We like to read them simply as Turkish.
gpt
But what, I urged,
human
We send them all, replied the little man, puffing at his pipe and growing obviously drowsy as he spoke,
gpt
Is there anything else you want to know, he asked,
human
Just one thing, I said,
gpt
No, he said,
human
And who are in it?
gpt
Ourselves, and the Armenians--and let me see--the Irish, are they not, Toomuch--and the Bulgarians--are there any others, Toomuch?
human
There is talk, said the Secretary
gpt
Who are they?
human
We don't know, said Abdul, testily.
gpt
They wrote to us. They seem all right. Haven't you got a lot of people in your league that you never heard of?
human
I see, I said,
gpt
Very simple, said the Sultan.
human
Each member of the league gives its WORD to all the other members. Then they all take an OATH together. Then they all sign it. That is absolutely binding.
gpt
But surely, I protested,
human
Peace! exclaimed Abdul waking into sudden astonishment.
gpt
Peace! I should think NOT! Our league is for WAR. Every member gives its word that at the first convenient opportunity it will knock the stuff out of any of the others that it can.
human
Toomuch, he said,
gpt
He paused to whisper a few instructions into the ear of the Secretary.
human
You understand, he said,
gpt
--he gave a great yawn as he shuffled away,
human
I am about to withdraw into my Inner Harem. Goodbye. I regret that I cannot invite you in.
gpt
So do I, I said.
human
Goodbye.