human
No, no, replied he;
gpt
I caught a bright glance from Mary's blue eye, and made no answer.
human
This frost will hold, I'm afraid, continued Stapleton,
gpt
Oh, he will teach me to read and write,
human
I don't know that he shall, replied Stapleton.
gpt
What's the use of reading and writing to you? We've too many senses already, in my opinion, and if so be we have learning to boot, why then all the worse for us.
human
How many senses are there, father?
gpt
How many! I'm sure I can't tell, but more than enough to puzzle us.
human
There are only five, I believe, said I;
gpt
Well, replied Stapleton
human
Well, then, there's seeing,
gpt
Seeing is useful at times, I acknowledge; but I knows this, that if a man could pull a young couple about the river, and not be able to see now and then, it would be many a half-crown in his pocket.
human
Well, then, now we come to _tasting_.
gpt
No use at all--only a vexation. If there was no tasting we should not care whether we ate brown bread or roast beef, drank water or XX ale; and in these hard times that would be no small saving.
human
Well, then, let me see, there's _smelling_.
gpt
Smelling's no use whatever. For one good smell by the river's side there be ten nasty ones; and there is everywhere, to my conviction.
human
Which is the next, Jacob?
gpt
Feeling! that's the worst of the whole. Always feel too cold in winter, too hot in summer--feel a blow too; feeling only gives pain; that's a very bad sense.
human
Well, then, I suppose you think we should get on better without our senses.
gpt
No, not without all of them. A little hearing and a little seeing be all very well; but there are other senses which you have forgot, Jacob. Now, one I takes to be the very best of the bunch is _smoking_.
human
I never heard that was a sense,
gpt
Then you haven't half finished your education, Jacob.
human
Are reading and writing _senses_, father?
gpt
To be sure they be, girl; for without sense you can't read and write; and _rowing_ be a sense just as well; and there be many other senses; but, in my opinion, most of the senses be nonsense, and only lead to mischief.
human
Jacob, said Mary, whispering to my ear,
gpt
No, that's nonsense,
human
Well, then, replied she,
gpt
I agree with my father that nonsense is better than sense; but still I don't see why I should not learn to read and write, father.
human
I've lived all my life without it, and never felt the want of it--why can't you?
gpt
Because I do feel the want of it.
human
So you may, but they leads no no good. Look at those fellows at the Feathers; all were happy enough before Jim Holder, who is a scholar, came among them, and now since he reads to them they do nothing but grumble, and growl, and talk about I don't know what--corn laws, and taxes, and liberty, and all other nonsense. Now, what could you do more than you do now, if you larnt to read and write?
gpt
I could amuse myself when I've nothing to do, father, when you and Jacob are away. I often sit down, after I've done all my work, and think what I shall do next, and at last I look out of the window and make faces at people, because I've nothing better to do. Now, father, you must let him learn me to read and write.
human
Well, Mary, if you will, you will; but recollect, don't blame me for it--it must be all on your own head, and not on my conscience. I've lived some forty or fifty years in this world, and all my bad luck has been owing to having too much senses, and all my good luck to getting rid of them.
gpt
I wish you would tell me how that came to pass, said I;
human
I should like to hear it very much, and it will be a lesson to Mary.
gpt
Well, I don't care if I do, Jacob, only I must light my pipe first; and, Mary, do you go for a pot o' beer.
human
Let Jacob go, father. I mean him to run on all my errands now.
gpt
You mustn't order Jacob, Mary.
human
No, no--I wouldn't think of ordering him, but I know he will do it-- won't you, Jacob?
gpt
Yes, with pleasure,
human
Well, with all my heart, provided it be all for love,
gpt
Of course, all for love, replied Mary, looking at me,
human
What's Latin?
gpt
Oh! that's a new sense Jacob has been showing me something of, which, like many others, proved to be nonsense.