human
We saw you were in trouble, said Merry,
gpt
It was a goodly deed, a deed well done. Thy arms are strong, thy hearts are bold. Methinks I see before me two noble youths, fit to have lived in the days of knighthood.
human
You are very complimentary,
gpt
Mr. Burns, said Frank,
human
Nay, nay. Once I trod the boards and interpreted the characters of the immortal bard, for whom I was named. That time is past. I am an actor no longer; I am a 'has been.' My day is past, my sun hath set, and night draweth on apace.
gpt
I thought I could not be mistaken, said Frank.
human
We, too, are actors, although not Shakespearian ones.
gpt
Is this true? exclaimed the old tragedian.
human
And I have been befriended by those who wouldst follow the noble art! Brothers, I greet thee! But these are sad, sad days, for the drama hath fallen into a decline. The legitimate is scoffed at, the stage is defiled by the ribald jest, the clownish low-comedy star, the dancing and singing comedian, and vaudeville--ah, me! that we should have fallen into such evil ways. The indecencies now practiced in the name of art and the drama are enough to make the immortal William turn in his grave. Oh, for the good old days! But they are gone--forever gone!
gpt
It seems strange to meet an actor like you 'at liberty,' and so far from the Rialto,
human
I have been touring the country, giving readings, Burns hastened to explain.
gpt
Ah, it is sad, sad! Once I might have packed the largest theater of the metropolis; to-day I am doing well if I bring out a round dozen to listen to my readings at some crossroad schoolhouse in the country. Thus have the mighty fallen!
human
I presume you are thinking of getting back to New York?
gpt
Nay, nay. What my eyes have beheld there and my ears have heard is enough. My heart is sick within me. I was there at the opening of the season. One Broadway theater was given over to burlesque of the very lowest order, while another was but little better in character. A leading theater close to Broadway was packed every night by well-dressed people who went there to behold a vile French farce, in which the leading lady disrobed upon the stage. Ah, me! In truth, the world hath gone wrong! The ways of men are evil, and all their thoughts are vile. It is well that Shakespeare cannot rise from his grave to look upon the horrors now perpetrated on the English-speaking stage. If he were to be restored to life and visit one of our theaters, I think his second funeral would take place the following day. He would die of heart failure.
human
I believe you are right. It would give William a shock, that is certain. But there are good modern plays, you know.
gpt
I do not know, he declared.
human
I have not seen them. If there is not something nasty in the play of to-day, then it must of a certainty have its 'effect' in the way of some mechanical contrivance--a horse race, a steamboat explosion, a naval battle, or something of the sort. It seems that a piece cannot survive on its merits as a play, but must, perforce, be bolstered up by some wretched device called an 'effect.'
gpt
Truer words were never spoken, admitted Frank.
human
And still there are a few plays written to-day that do not depend on such devices. In order to catch the popular fancy, however, I have found it necessary to introduce 'effects.'
gpt
You speak as one experienced in the construction of plays.
human
I have had some experience. I am about to start on the road with my own company and my own play.
gpt
By Jove! he exclaimed.
human
Did you say you were at liberty?
gpt
Just at present, yes.
human
Then, if I can get you, you are the very man I want.
gpt
Your play can contain no part I would care to interpret,
human
But I think it is possible that you might be induced to play the part. I had a man for it, but I lost him. I was on my way to the Orpheum, to see if I could not find another to fill his place.
gpt
What sort of a part is it?
human
It is comedy.
gpt
What! cried the old actor, aghast and horrified.
human
Wouldst offer me such a part? Dost think I--I who have played _Hamlet_, _Brutus_, _Lear_ and _Othello_--would stoop so low? 'This is the most unkindest cut of all!'
gpt
But there is money in it--good, sure money. I have several thousand dollars to back me, and I am going out with my piece to make or break. I shall keep it on the road several weeks, at any cost.
human
It cannot be, he sadly said.
gpt
I am no comedian. I could not play the part.
human
If you will but dress as you are, if you will add a little that is fantastic to your natural acting, you can play the part. It is that of a would-be tragedian--a Shakespearian actor.
gpt
Worse and worse! moaned the old man.
human
You would have me burlesque myself! Out upon you!
gpt
I will pay you thirty-five dollars a week and railroad expenses. How can you do better?
human
Thirty-fi----