human
Ben, is that you?
gpt
I fell asleep waiting for you to come, Ben. I want to tell you that I acted the damned cad this morning.
human
Ben, he continued, as though suddenly realizing he was taking himself too seriously,
gpt
I know you are on the square with me, I know you are doing everything you can for me, but your movements are maddeningly deliberate. You act as though you were an old-stager at the game and was going sure. But I feel like I was bound hand and foot with these fellows darting javelins into my skin every time they look at me; and you know I can't see Anna Bell Morgan until---- He dropped his hands from my shoulders and looked out of the window.
human
Perhaps I am expecting too much--you cleaned up that Quarryville matter so----
gpt
But, Hiram, this is a big matter, reaching God only knows how far. It involves a number of men, clever in crookedness, and perhaps women. There's more to it than a bone-headed, love-sick German and a case of dynamite. The amounts involved are big, and it must move slowly. I know how you feel, but you've got to grin and bear it. But about Anna Bell Morgan, I think you are foolish. If she is the kind of girl you should marry she would want very much to stand by you. But if you adopt a drastic code of your own and insist on living up to it, how can she or any one help you in that respect?
human
Ben, he began deliberately, after taking a chair and cocking himself back against the window-sill,
gpt
I know that Anna Bell Morgan wants to help me. I am nursing the delusion, perhaps, that she would give one of her hands--make any sacrifice--but I don't believe a real man, under similar circumstances, would bid for help from the woman whom he really loves. If this thought proves a delusion I must stand it somehow, but I don't believe I will ever have faith in a woman again. I am beginning to see things differently now. I can see more and more why the Gold-Beater was given that name by friend and enemy. He fought fair and in the open and took punishment without a whimper. Ben, he made a mistake with me, but he gave me a decent sense of honor, and lately I realize he has given me a good-sized body that will stand real punishment. No, sir, my 'drastic code,' as you call it, has got to go. And now, with that out of my system, I am going to give you a real shock.