human
Mr. Quirk, said he one day to his excellent senior partner,
gpt
I fancy you will say that I am come to flatter you; but, Heaven knows!--if there _is_ a man on the earth with whom I lay aside disguise, that man is my friend Mr. Quirk. Really, it does seem, and mortifying enough it is to own it, as if events invariably showed that you are right--that I am wrong --(Here Mr. Quirk's appearance might have suggested the idea of a great old tom-cat who is rubbed down the right way of the fur, and does everything he can to testify the delight it gives him, by pressing against the person who affords him such gratification,)--
human
Ah, Gammon, Gammon! you're really past finding out!--Sometimes, now, I declare I fancy you the very keenest dog going in such matters, and at other times, eh?--not _particularly_ brilliant. When you've seen as much of this world's villany, Gammon, as I have, you'll find it as necessary as I have found it, to lay aside one's--one's--I say--to lay aside all scrup----that is--I mean--one's _fine feelings_, and so forth; you understand, Gammon?
gpt
Perfectly, Mr. Quirk
human
Well--and may I ask, Gammon, what is the particular occasion of that screwed-up forehead of yours? Something in the wind?
gpt
Only this, Mr. Quirk--I begin to suspect that I did very wrong in recommending you to give an indefinite time to that Mr. Aubrey for payment of the heavy balance he owes us--by Heavens!--see how coolly he treats us!
human
Indeed, Gammon, I think so!--Besides--_'tis_ an uncommon heavy balance to owe so long, eh?--Fifteen hundred pounds, or thereabouts?--Gad, it's _that_, at least!
gpt
He's a villanous proud fellow, that Aubrey, eh?--Your tip-top debtors generally _are_, though--when they've got a bit of a hardship to harp upon
human
Certainly we ought, when we had him in our power
gpt
Ah!--D'ye recollect, Gammon? the _thumbscrew_? eh? whose fault was it that it wasn't put on? eh? Tell me that, friend Gammon! Are you coming round to old Caleb Quirk's matter-of-fact way of doing business? Depend on't, the old boy has got a trick or two left in him yet, gray as his hair's grown.
human
I bow, my dear sir--I own myself worsted--and all through that absurd weakness I have, which some choose to call
gpt
Oh Lord, Gammon! Bubble, bubble and botheration--ah, ha!--Come, there's nobody here but you and me--and eh? _old Bogy_ perhaps--so, why that little bit of blarney?
human
Oh! my dear Mr. Quirk, spare me that cutting irony of yours. Surely when I have made the sincere and humiliating submission to which you have been listening--but, to return to business. I assure you that I think we ought to lose not a moment in getting in our balance, or at least coming to some satisfactory and definite arrangement concerning it. Only pinch him, and he'll bleed freely, depend on it.
gpt
Ah, ha! Pinch him, and he'll bleed! That's _my_ thunder, Gammon, ah, ha, ha!--By Jove! that's it to a T!--I always thought the fellow had blood enough in him if we only squeezed him a little. So let Snap be off and have a writ out against Master Aubrey.
human
Forgive me, my dear Mr. Quirk, interrupted Gammon, blandly--
gpt
What a cursed scamp he would be to
human
Certainly; but _we_ should suffer more than he
gpt
Surely, Gammon, they'd _remand_ him! Eighteen months at the very least.
human
Not an hour--not a minute, Mr. Quirk,
gpt
The deuce they wouldn't? Well, Law's come to a pretty point! And so lenient as we've been!
human
What occurs to _me_ as the best method of procedure, said Gammon, after musing for a moment--
gpt
Gammon, you're a gentleman, every inch of you--you are, upon my soul! If there _is_ one thing in which I----but _you're_ a hand at a letter of that sort, too! And _you_ have managed these people hitherto; why not go on to the end of the chapter?
human
Mr. Quirk, I look upon this letter as rather an important one--it ought to come from the head of the firm, and to be decisively and skilfully expressed, so as at once to----eh? but you know exactly what ought to be done.
gpt
Well--leave it to me,--leave it to me, Gammon: I think I _do_ know how to draw up a teaser--egad! You can just cast your eye over it as soon as
human
If I return in time from Clerkenwell, I will, Mr. Quirk,