human
Lord bless my soul! young man, there's no necessity for breaking a man's ribs about it--is there? said the old gentleman, snappishly.
gpt
I dare say, it's all very nice, but you needn't dislocate your neighbor's bones about it. Do you belong to this place?
human
Yes, sir, said the young man, with emphasis,
gpt
I wonder you go to sea, then, said the old man, crossly;
human
Me get on the spree? said the sailor, drawing himself up;
gpt
Why, bless my soul and body! exclaimed the old gentleman, surveying his young companion through his spectacles in utter surprise,
human
Yes, I regret to say I am, said the youngster in question in a passive tone,
gpt
Humph! grunted the old gentleman, doubtfully;
human
Liverpool--ship 'Sea Nymph;' master, Burleigh; first mate, Randolph Lawless, Esq., late of Heath Hill. Had some distinguished passengers out with us, too,
gpt
Humph! again grunted the old man.
human
Who were they, may I ask?
gpt
Certainly, you may ask, and I have great pleasure in answering, the Earl and Countess De Courcy, and their daughter, Lady Rita--perhaps you're acquainted with them already,
human
No, sir, I'm not, snapped the old man,
gpt
Well, it's their loss then; that's all I have to say about it. Here we are at anchor, at last. Halloa, Mrs. Gudge! don't you know me?
human
Why, Master Ranty! is this yourself? cried Mrs. Gudge, clasping her fat hands and going off into a transport of delight, wonderful to behold.
gpt
Dearie me! how glad I am! how tall you are, and how brown, and handsomer than ever, I declare!
human
I believe you, Mrs. Gudge; so handsome, in fact, that they wanted to take away the Apollo Belvidere--a gentleman you are not acquainted with, Mrs. Gudge--and put me in his place. My modesty, of which I have at least the full of a tar-bucket, would not permit me to listen to such a proposal a moment. And now, my dear madam, how are all my friends at Heath Hill and Old Barrens?
gpt
First-rate! replied Mrs. Gudge;
human
One of those notorious smugglers! whew! I hope my excellent father is not taking to contraband courses in his latter days. What, in the name of Amphitrite, could he want of Black Bart?
gpt
Well, he said he wanted information about the smugglers, and he sent my old man to look for Bart.
human
Humph! Set a fox to catch a fox! I wonder how he succeeded. Seen our Pet, lately?
gpt
No, not since one day she dressed herself in my Bobby's clothes, and drove young Mr. Germaine and Miss Erminie over to the cottage,
human
Dressed herself in Bob's clothes! what the dickens did she do that for?
gpt
For fun, she said; none of us knew them that day except her, and she drove them over without their ever finding her out. Miss Pet always is doing something out of the way, you know, Master Ranty.
human
And how is Mr. Germaine and Miss Erminie, Mrs. Gudge?
gpt
Very well, indeed! Lor' bless me! you would hardly know Mr. Ray; he's shot up like a Maypole, and got one of them nasty mustarches onto his upper lip. Of all the ugly things they beats all. It actually makes my flesh creep to see them eating or drinking with them on. I'm glad you don't wear one, Master Ranty, for of all the disgraceful things--
human
It's no merit of mine, I am afraid, said Ranty, passing his hand over his lip;
gpt
I've been mowing away for the last three years; but owing to some mysterious dispensation of Providence, or the barrenness of the soil, or some other inscrutable reason, nothing can be induced to sprout. I feel myself put upon by Fate, I do so, Mrs. Gudge! There's Ray, now with whiskers, flourishing, no doubt, like a green bay tree; and here am I, a young man twice as deserving, with a face as smooth as a sheet of foolscap. It's a darned shame, and I won't put up with it, hanged if I do! Mrs. Gudge, let me have a horse and wagon, or a superannuated gander, or a go-cart, or some other quadruped to take me home. Since I must tear myself away, I may as well do it first as last.