human
Mercy! forgive me! if you could only know how I have reproached myself! but I will not offend again, I swear! I am cured. Oh! I have been so unhappy ever since I saw you last!
gpt
And what about me, monsieur? Do you think that I have not been unhappy? Why didn't you come back sooner? What prevented you?
human
Because--I didn't know---- Look you, Nathalie--I will not lie to you--to-day I met Lucien, and I learned from him that you had a brother-in-law who smoked----
gpt
And then you understood that I had no other intrigue. Bad boy! if you hadn't left me so abruptly, I would have told you the whole story; but when jealousy takes possession of you, it is impossible to make you listen to reason.
human
Hereafter, my confidence in you will be absolute. You love me--you forgive me once more, do you not?
gpt
Yes, but this is the last time; for such scenes are too painful to me.
human
Oh! madame, hasn't monsieur told you what he did to your scamp of a brother-in-law? The concierge just told me. Monsieur took him by the throat and turned him out of the house, and promised to cut him in pieces if he ever dared to come to see you again!
gpt
Is this true, Adhémar?
human
Yes; did I do wrong?
gpt
Oh! far from it; you have done me a very great service. It seems that I am destined to be saved by you from all sorts of dangers! You see, monsieur, that you did wrong to desert me!
human
What joy! The man with the quid of tobacco won't come here again!
gpt
Do you know, monsieur, that it was very wrong of you to leave me to pass the evening alone with a young man? and that it shows the greatest indifference on your part toward your wife? for, if I didn't love you as I do, I might revenge myself for your neglect. You expose me to the risk of receiving declarations of love!
human
My dear love, you don't look at things from the right standpoint, Philémon replied, caressing his mutton-chop whiskers, which threatened to encroach upon his cheeks.
gpt
Tell me, did Callé make a declaration?
human
Oh, no!
gpt
You see! Deuce take it! I know with whom I leave you: that young man is as virtuous as Voltaire's _Candide_. Do you know _Candide_?
human
No, my dear.
gpt
I'll get it for you; for you're a little behindhand in literary matters, and I propose to train you in every way. I don't choose to have people say of my wife that she's a ninny. I won't have that, do you hear? and you must govern yourself accordingly.
human
I will try, my dear.
gpt
To return to Callé: he is more or less of a simpleton. He doesn't dare to look a woman in the face; indeed, he hardly dares to speak to one. So you see that I can safely leave you with him. If he should ever become any woman's lover, she would have to make the first overtures!
human
Do you think so, my dear?
gpt
I am sure of it; he would never dare to declare himself, unless he got a little help. And so, my dear love, as I know your virtue and your affection for me, I am entirely easy in my mind. I would intrust you to Callé, my dear, as I would to a keeper of the seraglio. Do you know what a keeper of the seraglio is, in Turkey?
human
No, my dear.
gpt
Well, he's a eunuch.
human
What in the world is a eunuch?
gpt
Why, don't you know that? I'll tell you some night--when it rains. Evidently, I have a great many things to teach you.
human
My dear love, I am going to make you very happy!--I know how much you like the theatre, especially the Gymnase; well, I have taken a box for you there, for to-night.
gpt
Oh! what fun! at the Gymnase! and a box! How lovely of you, dear! Tell me what time we must start, so that I can be ready and not make you impatient.
human
Oh! the play doesn't begin till half-past seven--be ready at quarter-past, that will be early enough; he won't call for you before then.
gpt
What did you say? call for me? Am I not to go with you?
human
No; I will join you later; I have to go to an evening party given by my chief. I can't miss that, you understand. When a man wants promotion, he must always stand well with those above him.
gpt
But, in that case, as you knew you were going somewhere else, you shouldn't have got a box for this evening.
human
Why not, pray? If I am enjoying myself in one place, is it any more than fair that you should enjoy yourself, too?
gpt
But you used always to take me with you to your chief's parties.
human
Yes, to the dancing parties and the musicales. But this is to be a--serious party; we shall talk politics and discuss the best method of dealing with the maturing obligations of a new Oriental railway; and you can see for yourself that women would be bored to death to sit and listen to all that. That's why there are to be no women.
gpt
With whom do you propose to send me to the play, then?
human
Oh! don't worry about that; I have sent word to Callé! I saw him yesterday, and asked him if he would like to take you to the theatre to-night. He jumped for joy; he adores the theatre.
gpt
But you impose on that young man's good nature.
human
On the contrary, I make him very happy! The poor fellow, who has never been able to have a mistress of a decent sort, is delighted to be your escort.--'People will think I've made a conquest of her,' he'll say to himself.
gpt
And you are willing people should think that I am that young man's mistress?
human
Why, no, indeed! no one will believe it! What I say is, that he will imagine that people believe it. I have to dot all my _i_'s to make you understand!
gpt
There's one thing that I understand very well, monsieur; and that is, that nowadays you do your utmost to avoid taking me anywhere with you. Although you think me a great fool, I beg you to believe that I can see that perfectly well.
human
Oh! that's just like a woman! taking everything hind side before! A fellow does all he can to be agreeable--buys a box at the theatre, for a charming play, and says to himself: 'I can't take her to a--political gathering, but I don't want her to sit mooning all alone in her chimney corner.'--And instead of being thanked for what he has done, he is overwhelmed with reproaches, and has to listen to the most absurd reflections! Don't you be alarmed: it will be very hot when I buy another box for you!