human
Mr. Bayliss!
gpt
Good evening, Miss Chester. We, so to speak, meet again. I have come as an intermediary. To be brief, Jerry Mitchell daren't face you, so I offered to come down instead.
human
But how--but why are you here?
gpt
I live here. He followed her gaze. It rested on a picture of cows in a field.
human
Late American school, he said.
gpt
Attributed to the landlady's niece, a graduate of the Wissahickon, Pa. Correspondence School of Pictorial Art. Said to be genuine.
human
You _live_ here? repeated Ann. She had been brought up all her life among the carefully thought out effects of eminent interior decorators, and the room seemed more dreadful to her than it actually was.
gpt
What an awful room!
human
Awful? You must be overlooking the piano. Can't you see the handsome plush cover from where you are standing? Move a little to the southeast and shade your eyes. We get music here of an evening--when we don't see it coming and sidestep.
gpt
Why in the name of goodness do you live here, Mr. Bayliss?
human
Because, Miss Chester, I am infernally hard up! Because the Bayliss bank-roll has been stricken with a wasting sickness.
gpt
But--but--then, did you really mean all that at lunch the other day? I thought you were joking. I took it for granted that you could get work whenever you wanted to or you wouldn't have made fun of it like that! Can't you really find anything to do?
human
Plenty to do. But I'm not paid for it. I walk a great number of blocks and jump into a great number of cars and dive into elevators and dive out again and open doors and say 'Good morning' when people tell me they haven't a job for me. My days are quite full, but my pocket-book isn't!
gpt
I'm so sorry. Why, it's terrible! I should have thought you could have found _something_.
human
I thought the same till the employers of New York in a body told me I couldn't. Men of widely differing views on religion, politics, and a hundred other points, they were unanimous on that. The nearest I came to being a financial Titan was when I landed a job in a store on Broadway, demonstrating a patent collar-clip at ten dollars a week. For awhile all Nature seemed to be shouting 'Ten per! Ten per!' than which there are few sweeter words in the language. But I was fired half-way through the second day, and Nature changed her act.
gpt
But why?
human
It wasn't my fault. Just Fate. This contrivance was called Klipstone's Kute Kollar-Klip, and it was supposed to make it easy for you to fasten your tie. My job was to stand in the window in my shirt-sleeves, gnashing my teeth and registering baffled rage when I tried the old, obsolete method and beaming on the multitude when I used the Klip. Unfortunately I got the cards mixed. I beamed when I tried the old, obsolete method and nearly burst myself with baffled fury just after I had exhibited the card bearing the words 'I will now try Klipstone's Kute Klip.' I couldn't think what the vast crowd outside the window was laughing at till the boss, who chanced to pause on the outskirts of the gathering on his way back from lunch, was good enough to tell me. Nothing that I could say would convince him that I was not being intentionally humorous. I was sorry to lose the job, though it did make me feel like a goldfish. But talking of being fired brings us back to Jerry Mitchell.
gpt
Oh, never mind Jerry Mitchell now--
human
On the contrary, let us discuss his case and the points arising from it with care and concentration. Jerry Mitchell has told me all!
gpt
What do you mean?
human
The word 'all,' said Jimmy,
gpt
You know--?
human
Everything. A colloquialism, explained Jimmy,
gpt
I am thoroughly in favour of the plan. So much so that I propose to assist you by taking Jerry's place.
human
I don't understand.
gpt
Do you remember at lunch that day, after that remarkable person had mistaken me for Jimmy Crocker, you suggested in a light, casual way that if I were to walk into your uncle's office and claim to be Jimmy Crocker I should be welcomed without a question? I'm going to do it. Then, once aboard the lugger--once in the house, I am at your orders. Use me exactly as you would have used Jerry Mitchell.
human
But--but--!
gpt
Jerry! said Jimmy scornfully.
human
Can't I do everything that he could have done? And more. A bonehead like Jerry would have been certain to have bungled the thing somehow. I know him well. A good fellow, but in matters requiring intellect and swift thought dead from the neck up. It's a very lucky thing he is out of the running. I love him like a brother, but his dome is of ivory. This job requires a man of tact, sense, shrewdness, initiative, _esprit_, and _verve_. He paused.
gpt
Me!
human
But it's ridiculous! It's out of the question!
gpt
Not at all. I must be extraordinarily like Jimmy Crocker, or that fellow at the restaurant wouldn't have taken me for him. Leave this in my hands. I can get away with it.
human
I shan't dream of allowing you--
gpt
At nine o'clock to-morrow morning, said Jimmy firmly,
human
I present myself at Mr. Pett's office. It's all settled.