human
Thankee, young 'oman, that was very nice, said the old woman, drawing out a flaming yellow cotton pocket-handkerchief, and wiping her mouth, as a sign she had finished;
gpt
Little after midnight,
human
Humph! I reckon you're trying to poke fun at me, Miss Pet Lawless; but no good ever comes of telling lies. Have ye ever heard tell on Ananias and Sapphira?
gpt
Whew! ghosts, and goblins, and warlocks! She knows my name!
human
Yes; I know more about you than I want to know,
gpt
Well, you ain't the only one in that plight, if that's any consolation,
human
Do you know who I am, too?
gpt
Yes, I've heern tell on you,
human
And no good either, I'll be bound!
gpt
Well, no; sence you say it I never did hear any good of him,
human
What did you hear about me, mother?
gpt
Well, I heard you was a noisy, disagreeable, fightin' character; allus a-kickin' up a row with somebody, and forever a-tormentin' of that nice young gentleman, Master Ranty Lawless, who is a brother of that little yeller gal over there, and worth a dozen like her!
human
Well, upon my word, if that ain't polite, not to say complimentary, said Pet, drawing a long breath.
gpt
Well, you ain't white, you know, said the old woman--who, whatever her other infirmities might be, was certainly not deaf.
human
You're rayther of the tawniest, as everybody what's got eyes can see for themselves. It's a pity you ain't good-looking, like your brother Ranty; I don't think I ever saw a prettier young man nor he is, in my life.
gpt
Why, you hateful old thing! burst out Pet, indignantly; losing all her customary respect for old age in these unflattering remarks.
human
I _ain't_ tawny; and I _am_ pretty--I just am! and I'm not going to believe anybody that says anything else. If you and everybody else think I'm ugly, it's all your bad taste! Ranty prettier than me! Likely story!
gpt
Well, look what a nice white skin he has!
human
White skin! bleached saffron, more like! exclaimed Pet;
gpt
May we ask the name of the lady who has favored us with her company this morning?
human
Yes, you may, young man, said the old lady, with a sharp asperity that seemed rather uncalled for;
gpt
A mighty pretty name,
human
And we like it, exceedingly, said Ray;
gpt
Young man! exclaimed the beldame, facing sharply round,
human
I dare say you think it mighty amusing to keep poking fun at me--which shows all the broughten up ever you had, to go showing no respect to people what's in their old ages of life. But if you think sich onchristian conduct --here the sharp voice rose to the shrillest possible treble--
gpt
I wish to mercy you would, then, old Goody Two-Shoes! Lor'! what a showy appearance you'd make, Ray, as a mustard-pot!
human
Why, my dear madam, I hadn't the slightest idea of 'poking fun' at you, as you elegantly expressed it, said Ray, looking deeply persecuted and patient;
gpt
Take care, then, how you rouse my wrath, said the old woman, with a scowl, which was unfortunately lost in a succession of short, sharp sneezes, as her pinch of snuff went the wrong way.
human
I'm a patient woman; but I can't stand everything. I'm used to be treated with respect. Where I came from, no such conduct was ever heerd tell on.
gpt
It's a warm climate there--ain't it?
human
Humph! there's some inference in that, if a body only could make it out, grunted the old woman;
gpt
Now, who would think the little demons would treat the old one with respect? said Pet, musingly, but in an exceedingly audible tone.
human
I never knew they were so polite down there, before.
gpt
Young woman,
human
Look here, now! old Goody Two-Shoes, I ain't a young woman, and I never intend to be; and I'd thank you not to keep calling me out of my name. I'm Miss Petronilla Lawless, and if it's not too much trouble, I'd feel grateful to you if you'd call me so. There!
gpt
Good gracious! Miss Pet, take care! whispered Mr. Toosypegs, who, gray with terror, had been all this time crouching out of sight, in a corner;
human
Who is that young man?