human
What a pity! he murmured, as we set out for the sanatorium.
gpt
What a pity! I had hoped to pull this thing through without any loss of life. How many do you consider able to undergo the operation to-day, Dr. Martin?
human
All except six or seven. That is, about eighty.
gpt
More than enough! grunted Gran'pa.
human
Take us over to the sanatorium, give us something to eat and drink, and then we'll explain matters. By that time my fiancée should have arrived by train from Swakopmund.
gpt
What do you think of the old chaps?
human
Splendid! exclaimed Gran'pa.
gpt
In fact, the glands seem superfluous. . . .
human
Not quite, chuckled the doctor.
gpt
But very nearly. . . .
human
What have you been up to, eh?
gpt
Well, first of all, we've given the old people plenty of physical jerks, embracing movements in every joint--fingers, elbow, neck--waist, knees, toes, ankles, spine--and so on. . . . They've gone in for dancing, too. Jigs, reels, clog-dancing, hornpipes . . .
human
It all sounds very hot and perspiring!
gpt
Did you think so when you saw them just now?
human
No! I can't say that I did. On the contrary, they looked astonishingly cool and fresh!
gpt
They'd come straight from an hour's drill in the gymnasium,
human
You amaze me! conceded Gran'pa.
gpt
Well, what else have you done? 'Jerks' alone wouldn't have produced such a--miracle.
human
I suppose that you've heard of the latest theory, glandular stimulants?
gpt
Vaguely! Isn't it potashes, or something?
human
Yes, a colloidal, radioactive potash. It works with extraordinary rapidity and, what is most important, it seems to stimulate all the glands in equal proportion. I believe that coördination of effects is a vital necessity to any process of rejuvenation. That's why I am not particularly in favor of grafting only one type of gland, such as the thyroid. The result may not be lasting. You may easily develop one part of the organism at the expense of the rest.
gpt
Such has not been the case with me,
human
Not so far, perhaps,
gpt
You mean to suggest that it may. I disagree with you entirely, sir! I feel that you are wrong. I _know_ it!
human
Please don't look on this as a personal matter, Mr. Hadley. It is merely a general observation. We know very little of the precise function of any gland at present, but we do know that the stimulation of one kind often leads to degeneration of another.
gpt
Have you told all this to the old people?
human
Naturally not!
gpt
That's a pity!
human
Why?
gpt
Because most of them will badly need some such comforting theory. I'm sorry to inform you, doctor, that we've not done nearly as well as we expected. Instead of the eighty-seven pairs of glands promised, we've managed to get only twenty-two.
human
This is very bad news! he said.
gpt
They will be terribly upset.
human
I am certain they will, agreed Gran'pa, almost cheerfully.
gpt
But they must make the best of it. Some of us will have to die of old age--sometime. It's not a new grievance. Men and women have been putting up with it for millions of years. Why, then, should these people complain?
human
You must remember that they have been here a long time and worked very hard at their exercises, solely in preparation for the new glands. Their enthusiasm has astounded all of us. When they find that only about a quarter of them are going to be rejuvenated, there will be trouble.
gpt
How would it be to distribute single glands, instead of pairs?
human
No! said Gran'pa, firmly.
gpt
I hate makeshifts. We must have one thing or the other--either youth or old age. We can't have men who don't know _what_ they are. It would be as absurd as fitting a three-horse-power engine to a four-seater car. . . .
human
I agree, murmured Dr. Martin, despondently.
gpt
The only thing is to explain matters--
human
And let them draw lots,
gpt
There is no reason, he said,
human
No! exclaimed Gran'pa.
gpt
Why should we lie to them? Within the next twenty-four hours this business is finished as far as I'm concerned. If the unrejuvenated like to go gland-hunting on their own, they're welcome to any information we can give them. That is an idea quite worth mentioning.