human
Hey, did you rip open this pad?
gpt
For a growed man you shore do ask some childish questions, he retorted.
human
Of course I did. I allus rip open saddle pads. All my life I been rippin' open every saddle pad I saw. Many a time I got mad when I found a folded blanket instead of a pad. I've got up nights an' gone wanderin' around looking for pads to rip open. You look like you had sense, but looks shore is deceivin'. Why'n blazes would I rip open yore saddle pad? I reckon it's plumb wore out an' just nat'rally come apart. You've had it since Adam made th' sun stand still.
gpt
You must 'a' listened to some sky pilot with yore feet! retorted Red.
human
Adam didn't make th' sun stand still. That was Moses, so they'd have longer light for to hunt for him in. An' you needn't get steamed up, neither. Somebody ripped this pad, with a knife, too. Seein' that it was in th' same camp all night with you, I nat'rally asked. I'm shore _I_ didn't do it. Then _who_ did? He swaggered off to get his friend's pad and picked it up.
gpt
Of course you wouldn't rip yore own. That-- he held it closer to his eyes and stared at it.
human
Cussed if you _didn't_, though! It's ripped just like mine. I reckon you'll be startin' on th' saddles, next!
gpt
Well, I'm cussed! he muttered.
human
It shore was ripped, all right. It never come apart by itself. _Both_ of 'em, huh?
gpt
They didn't play no favorites, anyhow, growled Red.
human
Wonder what they thought they'd find? Jewels?
gpt
Things like that don't just happen, he said, reflectively.
human
There's allus a reason for things. He grew thoughtful again and studied the pad.
gpt
Mebby they wasn't lookin' for anythin',
human
Just doin' it for practice, mebby? he asked, sarcastically.
gpt
Not havin' nothin' else _to_ do, somebody went up to our rooms an' amused themselves by rippin' open our pads. You got a head like a calf, only it's a hull lot smaller.
human
We was accused of robbin' th' bank, Reddie, said Hopalong in patient explanation.
gpt
They knowed we didn't do it--so they must 'a' wanted us to be blamed for it. Th' best proof they could have, not seein' us do it, was to plant somethin' to be found on us. This is past yore A B C eddication, but I'll try to hammer it into you. If it makes you dizzy, hold up yore hand. What does a bank have that everybody wants? Money! Why do people rob banks? To get money, you sage-hen! What would bank robbers have after they robbed a bank? Money, you locoed cow! Now, Reddie, there's _two_ kinds of money. One is hard, an' th' other is soft like yore head. Th' soft has pretty pictures on it an' smells powerful. It also has numbers. Th' numbers are different, Reddie, on each bill. Some banks keep a list of th' numbers of the biggest bills. Reckon I better wait an' let you rest up.
human
Too bad they got us out of jail--_both_ of us, said Red.
gpt
I should 'a' stayed behind. It wouldn't 'a' been half as bad as hangin' 'round with you.
human
Now, continued his companion, looking into the pad,
gpt
It started some time ago,
human
What did?
gpt
Th' bakin'. You didn't get that hat on quick enough, his friend jeered.
human
I've heard of people eatin' cooked calves' brains, but they'd get little nourishment an' only a moldy flavor out of yourn. An' you'd shore look better with _all_ yore clothes on. I can see th' places where you've stopped washin' yore hands, feet, an' neck all these years.
gpt
Gee! he exulted.
human
These clean clothes shore do feel good!
gpt
said Red, following suit. As his head came into sight again he let his eyes wander along the eastern and southeastern horizon.
human
You know, them bluffs off yonder remind me a hull lot of parts of th' Staked Plain, he observed.
gpt
We hadn't ought to be very far away from it, down here.
human
They're its edge,