human
All crooked officials, said Mull,
gpt
Through their methods the county offices are rotten from the judge to the policeman.
human
I agree with you.
gpt
Ah, wat's the matter wid Tammany? My old man never voted any other ticket. Neither did yours. When you get into stir you act like college professors. Why don't you practice what you spout? I always voted the Tammany ticket--five or six times every election day. How is it I never got a long bit?
human
How many times, Mickey, have you been in stir?
gpt
This is the fourth, but the highest I got was four years.
human
You never done anything big enough to get four.
gpt
I didn't, eh? You have been hollering that you are innocent, and get twenty years for piracy. I only get four, but I am guilty every time. There is a big difference between that and twenty, aint it?
human
Never mind. You will get yours yet on the installment plan. Then, turning to me, Mull asked:
gpt
Jim, don't you think that if everything was square and on the level we'd stand a better chance?
human
No, I replied.
gpt
In the first place we have not reached the millennium. In the second place they would devise some legal scheme to keep a third timer the rest of his natural days. I know a moccasin who would move heaven and earth to have such a bill passed, and he is one of the crookedest philanthropists in America to-day. I am a grafter, and I believe that the present administration is all right. I know that I can stay out of prison as long as I save my fall-money. When I blow that in I ought to go to prison. Every gun who is capable of stealing, knows that if he puts by enough money he can not only keep out of stir but can beat his way into heaven. I'm arguing as a professional thief.
human
Why don't you talk United States and not be springing whole leaves out of a dictionary?
gpt
You know why I got the tenth of a century? I had thousands in my pocket and went to buy some silk underwear at a haberdasher's in New York. But it seemed to me a waste of good coin to buy them, so I stole a dozen pair of silk stockings. They tried to arrest me, I shot, and got ten years. I always did despise a petty thief, but I never felt like kicking him till then. Ten years for a few stockings! Can you blame the judge? I didn't. Even a judge admires a good thief. If I had robbed a bank I'd never have got such a long bit. The old saying is true: Kill one man and you will be hanged. Kill sixteen, and the United States Government is likely to pension you.