human
Don't yer friends imbibe nothin'?
gpt
Gents, what's yourn?
human
Stranger in these parts?
gpt
Sort of, replied the Texan,
human
Seems like I've saw you before, somewheres,
gpt
Maybe you have, because astoundin' as it may seem, this ain't my first appearance in public--but you might be nature fakin', at that. Where was it this here episode took place?
human
I dunno, only it seems like you look sort of nat'chel, somehow.
gpt
I always did--it's got so's it's almost what you might call a fixed habit--like swallowin' when I drink. But, speakin' of towns, Timber City's sure had a boom since I was here last. You've got a new horse trough in front of the livery barn. The tall man ordered another round of drinks, and the Texan paused to fill his glass. They drank, and with an audible suck at his overhanging moustache, the tall man leaned an elbow on the bar:
human
It ain't noways safe or advisable, he said slowly, looking straight at the Texan,
gpt
Come on, now, boys, they ain't nawthin' in quarrelin'. The gent, here, was only kiddin' us a little an' we ain't got no call to raise the hair on our back for that. What do you say we start a little game of stud? Solo ain't no summer game, nohow--too much thinkin'. How about it stranger, d'you play?
human
Only now an' then, by way of recreation. I don't want your money, I got plenty of my own, an' I never let cards interfere with business. Down in Texas we----
gpt
But, you ain't workin' today,
human
Well, not what you might call work, maybe. I aimed to get drunk, an' I don't want to get switched off into a card game. Come on, now, an' we'll have another drink, an' then Jo-Jo an' I'll renew our conversation. An' while we're at it, Percy, if I was you I'd stand a little to one side so's I wouldn't get my clothes mussed. Now, Jo-Jo, what was the gist of that there remark of yours?
gpt
My name's Stork--Ike Stork, an'----
human
You're a bird all right.
gpt
Yes, I'm a bird--an' Timber City's a bird, too. They can't no other town in Montany touch us.
human
Wolf River's got a bank----
gpt
Yes, interrupted the bartender,
human
I'd hev you to know, Stork cut in importantly,
gpt
Yes an' it takes an act of God to keep her goin', but He does it offhand an' casual, same as He makes three-year-old steers out of two-year-olds.
human
Don't regard Ike none serious, pardner, he's settin' a little oneasy on account he got his claim all surveyed off into buildin' lots, an' they ain't goin' like, what you might say, hot cakes.
gpt
Oh, I don't know,
human
Now, about this here proclamation of yourn to git drunk, continued the bartender.
gpt
Not that it ain't any man's privilege to git drunk whenever he feels like, an' not that it's any of my business, 'cause it ain't, an' not that I give a damn one way or the other, 'cause I don't, but just by way of conversation, as you might say; what's the big idee? It ain't neither the Thirteenth of June, nor the Fourth of July, nor Thanksgivin' nor Christmas, nor New Year's, on which dates a man's supposed to git drunk, the revels that comes in between bein' mostly accidental, as you might say. But here comes you, without neither rhyme nor reason, as the feller says in the Bible, just a-honin' to git drunk out of a clear sky as the sayin' goes. Of course they's one other occasion which it's every man's duty to git drunk, an' that's his birthday, so if this is yourn, have another on the house, an' here's hopin' you live till the last sheep dies.
human
As long as we've decided to git drunk together, it's no more'n right you-all should know the reason. It ain't my birthday, it's my--my anniversary.
gpt
Married?
human
Nope.
gpt
Well, no wonder you're celebratin'!
human
Shorty, there, he's married a-plenty,
gpt
Be'n married an'--quit?
human
Nope.
gpt
Well, if you ain't married, an' ain't be'n married, what's this here anniversary business? An' how in hell do you figger the date?
human
A-many a good man's gone bugs foolin' with higher mathmatics, Shorty. Just you slip another jolt of this tornado juice in under your belt, an' by the time you get a couple dozen more with it, you won't care a damn about anniversaries. What'll be botherin' you'll be what kind of meat they feed the sun dogs----
gpt
Yes, an' I'll catch hell when I git home,
human
Every man's got his own brand of troubles, philosophized the Texan,
gpt
What's the big idee--pinchin' back the _dinero_?
human
Just happened to think, that this is the identical spot, a year ago, where I imbibed the last shot of red licker that's entered my system till I intruded this peaceful scene today.
gpt
What's all that got to do with you grabbin' that there money which I want two dollars an' a half out of it fer them two rounds of drinks that's on you?
human
Don't go worryin' about that. You'll get all that's comin' to you. But a little reference to back history might fresh up your memory that I've got four dollars change comin' from a year ago----
gpt
Wha'd ye mean--a year ago? I wasn't here a year ago! My brother run this joint then. I only be'n here a couple of months.