human
Oh, I don't hardly know what it _is_ all about. My sales have been falling off, all rightee. But, good Lord! that's no fault of mine. I work my territory jus' as hard as I ever did, but I can't meet the competition of the floor-wax people. They're making an auto polish now--better article at a lower price--and what can I do? They got a full line, varnish, cleaner, polish, swell window displays, national advertising, swell discounts--everything; and I can't buck competition like that. And then a lot of the salesmen at our shop are jealous of me, and one thing and another. Well, now I'll go down and spit the old man in the eye couple o' times, and get canned, unless I can talk him out of his bad acting. Oh, I'll throw a big bluff. I'll be the little misunderstood boy, but I don't honestly think I can put anything across on him. I'm-- Oh, hell, I guess I'm getting old. I ain't got the pep I used to have. Not but what J. Eddie Schwirtz can still sell goods, but I can't talk up to the boss like I could once. I gotta feel some sympathy at the home office. And I by God deserve it--way I've worked and slaved for that bunch of cutthroats, and now-- Sure, that's the way it goes in this world. I tell you, I'm gonna turn socialist!
gpt
Ed--listen, Ed. Please, oh, _please_ don't be offended now; but don't you think perhaps the boss thinks you drink too much?
human
How could he? I don't drink very much, and you know it. I don't hardly touch a drop, except maybe just for sociability. God! this temperance wave gets my goat! Lot of hot-air females telling me what I can do and what I can't do--fella that knows when to drink and when to stop. Drink? Why, you ought to see some of the boys! There's Burke McCullough. Say, I bet he puts away forty drinks a day, if he does one, and I don't know that it hurts him any; but me--
gpt
Yes, I know, dear. I was just thinking--maybe your boss is one of the temperance cranks, Una interrupted. Mr. Schwirtz's arguments regarding the privileges of a manly man sounded very familiar. This did not seem to be a moment for letting her husband get into the full swing of them. She begged:
human
What will you do if they let you out? I wish there was something I could do to help.
gpt
Dun'no'. There's a pretty close agreement between a lot of the leading paint-and-varnish people--gentleman's agreement--and it's pretty hard to get in any place if you're in Dutch with any of the others. Well, I'm going down now and watch 'em gwillotine me. You better not wait to have dinner with me. I'll be there late, thrashing all over the carpet with the old man, and then I gotta see some fellas and start something. Come here, Una.
human
Nope, he said;