After the feedback session, the couple can make an informed decision about whether the therapist and treatment seem right for them. Assuming they decide positively, then the active phase of treatment begins. Sessions at this point are almost always done jointly, with both members of the couple and the therapist. The focus is often on important recent incidents, positive or negative, that reflect their major theme or themes. For example, if a major theme concerned partners' difficulties in achieving emotional intimacy, the couple might discuss a recent incident in which they were able to achieve a sense of closeness with each other or an incident in which one or both reached out to the other but felt rebuffed. Similarly, if a major theme involved frequent struggles over decision-making, they might discuss a recent incident where they were able to reach agreement on a matter or an incident where they got into a negative, escalating conflict about an issue on which they disagreed. Upcoming incidents related to a couple's theme, such as a difficult, upcoming decision that the couple must make, and broader issues related to a couple's theme, such as how partners in a couple who struggles to achieve emotional intimacy react when their feelings are hurt, are also a focus of discussion. In these discussions, the therapist is often quite active, helping the partners communicate more openly, directly, and clearly, helping them identify the patterns that get them stuck, and assisting them in finding alternative ways of interacting.
