los angeles (the borowitz report)�after learning that donald j. trump was still stinging from having lost an emmy for �the celebrity apprentice,� the academy of television arts and sciences offered to give the former reality-show host a belated emmy if he will drop out of the 2016 race.  �we never imagined that if we had simply given you an emmy back in the day our current national nightmare might have been avoided,� a television academy spokesman said in an online video.  displaying an emmy statuette, the spokesman said, �here�s your emmy, mr. trump, all gold and shiny, just the way you like things to be.�  reached by reporters, the spokesman said that the academy decided to give trump the belated emmy because the organization felt �terrible� about the unwitting role it had played in bringing the united states to the brink of destruction.  �historically, television has been blamed for a lot,� the spokesman said. �we wanted to show that when the very existence of the entire world is at stake television does the right thing.�  more on the third presidential debate: john cassidy on trump�s �rigged� comments, and amy davidson on hillary clinton, �nasty woman.�