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Early life

Ellis was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and raised in The Bronx borough of New York City from a young age. His paternal grandparents were Jewish immigrants from the Russian Empire, while his maternal grandfather originated from Galicia, Poland in Austria-Hungary. He was the eldest of three children. Ellis' father, Harry, was a broker, often away from home on business trips, who reportedly showed only a modicum of affection to his children. By his teenage years, his parents divorced, and he lived solely with his mother. His father never again played a significant part in his life.

In his autobiography, Ellis characterized his mother, Hattie, as a self-absorbed woman with a bipolar disorder. At times, according to Ellis, she was a "bustling chatterbox who never listened." She would expound on her strong opinions on most subjects, but rarely provided a factual basis for these views. Like his father, Ellis' mother was emotionally distant from her children. Ellis recounted that she was often sleeping when he left for school and usually not home when he returned. Instead of reporting feeling bitter, he took on the responsibility of caring for his siblings. He purchased an alarm clock with his own money and woke and dressed his younger brother and sister.

When the Great Depression struck, all three children sought work to assist the family. Ellis was sickly as a child and suffered numerous health problems throughout his youth. At the age of five he was hospitalized with a kidney disease. He was also hospitalized with tonsillitis, which led to a severe streptococcal infection requiring emergency surgery. He reported that he had eight hospitalizations between the ages of five and seven, one of which lasted nearly a year. His parents provided little emotional support for him during these years, rarely visiting or consoling him. Ellis stated that he learned to confront his adversities as he had "developed a growing indifference to that dereliction".

Ellis committed copious sexual assaults against women during his teens and early twenties, writing that he became addicted to nonconsensual frotteurism at the age of fifteen, and claimed to have had “had hundreds of frotteur-incited sex adventures” until his twenties. He reported that he "sought out crowded trains, standing rooms in the back of movie theaters, crowded elevators, and other places where I could rub my midsection against women's backsides and hips and soon get delicious orgasm,” stating that the encounters were “sometimes nonconsenting.” Ellis also wrote, “I am now, when I think about it, guilty about my acts. I have remorse for what I did,” adding that, “I deplore the sin and accept the sinner” but then went on to say “I knew that frotteurism was wrong – that it is sometimes nonconsenting” but “Subway sex was the cheapest and easiest sex I ever had, and I continued it into my twenties.... But in some ways it was great: no fuss, no obligations, no time wasted, no having to put up with the inane conversation of most women, no pregnancy, no disease, no boredom.”

Illness was to follow Ellis throughout his life; at age 40 he developed diabetes.

Ellis had exaggerated fears of speaking in public and during his adolescence, he was extremely shy around women. At age 19, already showing signs of thinking like a cognitive-behavioral therapist, he forced himself to talk to 100 women in the Bronx Botanical Gardens over a period of a month. Even though he did not get a date, he reported that he desensitized himself to his fear of rejection by women.