Written by j.w.

Saturday, 7 May 2011

image for Burns Night now annual Holiday
Fergie back in Scotland

Following the victory of the Scottish National Party in Scotland an annual holiday has been announced by Alex Salmon, SNP leader as he jumped for joy. This will commemorate Scottish poet Robert Burns.

He has picked November 5th as the annual Burns day. 'This is a suitable day, so we can remind Sassenachs that they will burn in hell when we get revenge for the treatment we Scots have endured for 25 centuries from the barborous English!'

A great pride has emerged in the Scottish football fraternity and Celtic and Rangers fans joined in War Dances with bagpipes sending their mournful cries among the crowds assembled for their great conflicts on the football pitch.

Alex Ferguson has been swept up in the great Scottish revival and will become manager of the Scottish National Team. Already odds on Scotland winning the next world cup have been slashed.

Even the Loch Ness Monster leapt from the depths of the Loch to do cartwheels for mesmerised tourists.

Scotland's Tourist trade is set for a major stimulus from global warming. 'Our climate will become the envy of every overheated Englishman' claimed Campbell Mactavish who runs a major Tourist industry making haggis. Water also is plentiful in Scotland and makes the finest whisky in the world - as Burns said: "When ye wrld ay thisrty, ye Scots can bibe whisky ock the final dramme.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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