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A look at oneself in #minor

Posted September 6th, 2013 at 07:12 PM by Melody
Updated September 6th, 2013 at 07:27 PM by Melody

#hashtags This is a default declaration of declarations. All paragraphs must begin with a hashtag of some sort. This hash tag always opens a post like this. All hash tags must be described in the same line

#locked This post is locked. NO RESHARING. Defy this directive and you will be eaten by a grue. Or turned into a fish and turned loose in Gollum's fishing pond. This means you too Screenshot Sally and Sam. Same for you FaceFools, TweetTweeters, redditors and PintrestPinheads. You may link people to this post page, via more direct and personal/private means of communication...but please don't copypasta. Nobody likes CopyPasta. Nobody.

#mute This post cannot speak. You may not speak for it either, it signs just fine. Defiance of this directive will cause the universe to divide by zero, followed by massive existence failure on a universal level.

#copyleft The writer of this post claims no copyrights to the contents. Please be kind, do no evil and turn no more profit than a quick giggle from it. You are welcome to create your own post similar to this, as long as you don't claim to invent it. Please include the first four hashtags, this is a hidden movement, we're not farting in the pool. Defiance of this directive will result in nothing. Seriously. It's called the Honor System.

#rules This Post sets forth the #official rules of the post format. Follow them to the letter. The spirit of the rules are also protected. Defiance of this directive will result in shame of the most intense and embarrassing kind.

#umadbro Posts made claiming to follow this format which defy every convention defined in this post will bring down the wrath of the Gods, the Human Race and the Universe upon them. We will not forgive, We will not forget. Expect it to be painful in every possible way imaginable.

#nottheconstitution You may not make amendments to the rules. Defiance of this directive will result in extreme boredom.

#pointless The contents of this post have absolutely no point. Sorry, no refunds. Attempts to assign meanings not listed by hashtag to this post will result in being placed in the corner with a dunce hat. If you already have one, you will be given another one too, made of the next level color paper. (White -> Bronze -> Silver -> Gold -> Platinum). You don't want the ones beyond white...they're cursed, so you can't remove them without blessing from someone with enough intelligence to declare you rehabilitated.

#funny This post is an attempt at being funny. LOLs are encouraged but not expected. Boos and hisses are forbidden, you have better things to do don't you? if you don't, I feel sorry for you.

#quitcher*****en Don't send me private messages or post about this post. Seriously. Keep it natural. Keep it cool. Defiance of this directive will result in shuns.

#novelty This post was composed purely for the novelty. Assumptions made contrary to this point will be punishable by thousands of needles stuck in the eye.

#privatepublic This is totally a public post. But with private tendencies. Please respect that. Defiance of that directive will result in negative karma ultimately resulting in someone doxing you.

#mostlyharmless Penalties can't actually come true. Let's pretend I never said that though. Half the fun of this game is coming up with creative punishments for those who defy the directives after reading the post. It's also fun to pretend to fear the poster of this post...even though it does not make the poster a badass like Chuck Norris. Any ego inflation resulting from posting this post is defiance. Defiance of this directive will result in being boiled in oil and roundhouse kicked into non-existence by Chuck Norris. (It will only take one)

#nolobbyists This type of post cannot be used to spread political beliefs, campaign for anyone, or promote political opinion. Keep it frivolous, innocent and fun. You may speak your mind but force the contents of it upon no one. Defiance of this directive results in an Automatic disqualification and revocation of all politician status and forced labor as your political opponent's gopher and intern.

#atheist This type of post does not promote religious beliefs either. Defiance of this directive results in the worst punishment possible reserved for sinners/defilers/infidels/evil people of your religion. If no such punishment exists in documentation, one will be created for you, and it will be horrible.

#nonotme The poster of this post is NOT an atheist. Just gave the previous directive to keep trolls like WBC from abusing this form of posting. This tag can be used to prevent an assumption one can foresee being made by fools. Assumptions contrary to this assertion will be punishable by torturous death...by over nine thousand paper cuts.

#notgorn This type of post shall not be too graphic. Punishments should be inhumane at most, but not vomit or gag inducingly so. If in doubt, fall back on comedic and/or cartoonish ways to punish. We won't bite. Defiance of this directive will result in your life being replaced with the one of Wile E. Coyote.

#unique Punishments for each tag should be unique. Don't worry if the Simpsons did it though, that's always a good guideline and manual. Embrace your id, but don't make out with it ok? NO I DON'T CARE HOW HOT SHE/HE IS! Defiance of this directive will result in being fed to the worst possible beast you've ever read about in a fictional book.

#brohoof The poster of this post is a brony. Assertions contrary to this one and hate speech about MLP:FiM is punishable by being strapped into a torture chair in hell and being forced to watch MLP:FiM nonstop if you hate the show. If you like the show, you will be forced to watch your least favorite show instead.

#DFTBA This poster is a Nerdfighter. Don't forget to be Awesome. Defiance of this directive will result in revocation of your pants privileges. (Shut up, It's an injoke)

#dynamic This post will be edited. Multiple times. Expect it. Failure to do so will result in being considered a hipster.

#IDo I don't care who gets married to whom. In fact see the next declaration. Defiance of this directive...will result in nothing. You get a free pass you lucky bastard. You'd Better Cherish It.

#notjustaboy This poster is in touch with it's feminine side. Assertions otherwise will be punishable by being forced to dressed as the opposite gender for the rest of their mortal life.

#notjustagirl This poster doesn't believe that they should have to wear skirts ALL the time! Girls have rights too you know! Defiance and/or kitchen jokes will be punishable by starvation. Seriously, don't piss us off if you don't want poison in your cereal next morning. (Just kidding)

#somewhereinbetween "...In the middle between the darkness and the light. All you can see is the hazy gray between the black and white. It's not laughing or crying. Not living or dying. Not flying or down on it's knees..." Bonus points if you know who sang those lyrics. Failure to respect this assertion will result in being forced to drink 500 gallons of Grog.

#ilu This poster secretly loves you. No, just kidding, she just loves everyone...in that cold distant way a good little christian girl should love his neighbor. Assertions contrary to this will be met with universal hate.

#pronounsshmonouns This poster may confuse you with his use of pronouns when referring to herself. Deal with it, it's just a genderqueer. Defiance of this directive will result in being put through a Freaky Friday flip.

#TotallyNotWierd The poster of this post is not weird. The poster of this post is not special either, no she's not "SPECIAL!" either. This poster refers to his self as a human. Defiance of this directive will result in being placed in a room full of special needs mental patients and left to their unique devices.

#LOLSORANDOM The poster of this post is SO RANDOM! Maybe She's a Genki Girl, or guy. Maybe he's the Cloudcoocoolander or the Only Sane Man alive. Who knows? Speculation otherwise is punishable by being read Vogon Poetry.

#tldr This post is so long you probably didn't read all of it. You probably should you lazybones. Failure to do so will result in being forced to read "War And Peace" in every language on earth.

#bandwagon This is a bandwagon. You are free to jump on, there's always room, regardless of what the grouch driving the wagon in your area might say. Just be sure to follow the rules mmkay? Don't forget to buckle up, and DON'T TOUCH YOUR BROTHER/SISTER OR I WILL PULL THIS THIS THING OVER AND SPANK YOU! You don't have to jump on, this is like the bus, it will make it's run empty if it has to, the driver is always paid. You have #free_will don't you? This tag is always the last tag in this post format. Failure to include this as the last tag when replicating the format will result in a Starfleet Court Martial. Your punishment will vary on the mood of the members of the Q Continuum, as newly inducted members and allies of Starfleet and Masters of Starfleet Discipline.
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