Written by George Fripley
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Topics: mountain

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Controversy has marred the annual Silly Town Names competition, held on top of Mount Buggery in Victoria, Australia. The judges' decision to award the 2009 title to a joint bid from Big and Little Cockup resulted in appeals from a number of other towns.

The mayor of Fucking in Austria was incensed that his town had not won, having held the title for the last five years. "This is unbelievable…how can a Little Cockup be more funny than Fucking?"

Mayor of Climax, in America, was upset that they were two towns, not one. "Surely it's about one town winning, not dual entries," he said.

The judges, however, had decided that profanity was not going to be a winning criterion this year. "It's not big and it's not clever anymore,' said Steve Jugs, the event organiser. "We were looking for much more this year and the Cockup bid just edged out a number of other amusing, but clean town names. The runner up was Chinaman's Knob in Australia, followed by Middelfart, in Denmark. The mayors of these towns were understandably happy about their performance."

"It just goes to show that you can live in Middelfart and experience the sweet smell of success," said deputy-mayor Theresa Aroma. Mayor of Chinaman's Knob, Ivor Shaft was more low key. "We're very happy. Very happy indeed. We have a fine upstanding community who will be overflowing with satisfaction at this result."

When asked about the other unhappy mayors, Mr Shaft said, "Bunch of whining pricks. Now excuse me, I need to have a drink or three?"

The mayors of Twatt, in Scotland, Dildo, in New Foundland, and Dikshit, in India, were philosophical about not making the final three. "Speaking for all of us, I think we had a damn good go and had a lot of fun. I think we'll all be back next year," said Guru Garumpa from Dikshit, before heading to the bar with his fellow dignitaries to sink some beers and choose cocktails with rude names.

Next years competition will be held in Crapstone in England. The mayors of Big and Little Cockup have vowed to defend their trophy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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