Forum » Topic: ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE. http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 03 Jul 2015 06:21:27 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php JohnA on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116923 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 19:13:27 +0000 JohnA 116923@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think its important to encourage writers to have go at NiBs without personl rancour. It's funny or it isn't. Some parts are funny (the idea) but the execution isn't. Suggestions for alternatives would be positive. Suggestions for alternative sites to post on - not. </p> dvo4fun on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116733 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 22:35:38 +0000 dvo4fun 116733@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Dvo4 you are right I am a bastard."</p> <p>Oops. I'm pretty sure I didn't call you a bastard nick. Hold on I'll check... Nope, wasn't me. </p> nickb on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116705 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:37:36 +0000 nickb 116705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dvo4 you are right I am a bastard. I did do some Norman Tebbiting but now feel soiled. But what oh what can we do with the massed ranks of 0 scorers with no comments ? I say if they get fewer than 2 stars they should be allowed, quietly to fade. I've got loads of zeroes out there and I would happily accede to this. </p> kimllfixit on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116622 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:49:17 +0000 kimllfixit 116622@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Somebody call the 4fun family; daddy's been put in the padded room again. </p> dvo4fun on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116617 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:39:15 +0000 dvo4fun 116617@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've never understood fluid ounces. I mean, either it's an ounce or it's not an ounce. What has fluidity got to do with it? It's like saying 'a yard of pace'. Sorry, got to go now. NURSE! </p> godly1966 on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116613 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:22:49 +0000 godly1966 116613@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I don’t like daffodils they detract from my good looks, does that make me a narcissist? </p> kimllfixit on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116608 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 12:41:29 +0000 kimllfixit 116608@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I haven't had a comment in ages. I'd even appreciate a depressing tag, like 'poop patrol' or 'Cleggwank'... </p> rikkor on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116503 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 22:25:40 +0000 rikkor 116503@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I vaguely remember this place. In my day, a flounce was a flounce. </p> Nails UK on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116419 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 10:47:27 +0000 Nails UK 116419@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The only new thing to add is that it would be good if some of the comments and tips that have come out of this discussion could be included in the "Guidelines for writers" page. I've found a lot of useful stuff in this thread that I can use to tighten up my subs and constructive criticism is always welcome (Thank you, Button, for the "don't post everything at once" advice, though please bear in mind that not everybody has daily access to the internet; but the point has been taken on board). </p> <p>Perks/Waylandsmithy advice I concur with, I scribble ideas in a notebook and come back to them over the next couple of days. I research it on here and on Google to see if it's been done before, and then either edit or junk completely. (I am learning that I need to be more ruthless with my editing.)</p> <p>I'm not sure whether the anonymous star rating is a good idea. Might be nice if you could hover over stars and see additional info on who awarded what, but I don't know how technically challenging that might be. There is the potential for malicious downgrading, and removing the anonymize function might help with that. </p> Perks on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116407 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 10:05:24 +0000 Perks 116407@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If I can be honest weemat, I think you will get a better hit rate with less subs. 74 in four weeks (i think) is alot. The best bit of advice I had was from Waylandsmithy. Work on you best ideas and write something, then leave it for a while. When you come back to it take out anything that is not funny or does not add to the story. You might also think of better/additional jokes This may mean you lose half of you sub but better to have a 150 word gem than 300 words of padding. That advice has seen me personnally have some success with fp and nib, but alot of my stuff still sinks. Normally because others don't find it funny. Thats just how it is.</p> <p>As a side note, I probably had 74 in four weeks when started, so maybe have no right to say anything </p> weematt on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116391 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 09:04:39 +0000 weematt 116391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What would be considered the norm for getting comments? Just did some stats re submisions since joining about 4 weeks ago.<br /> Writers room submissions. 74 (need to get a life, bowling starts soon though)<br /> No Comments. 49 (some of my best stuff overlooked, boo hoo)<br /> (Not sure if spam affected the numbers but believe it did not amount to much)<br /> My feeling is that this is not too bad when I consider how much crap is in the 74 subs.<br /> When comments did appear they were either joining in the joke comments, praise or helpful hints.</p> <p>I believe the last week has been exceptional thanks to the government and just overloaded the forum with 'easy target' based submissions. This has caused comment writers block which, I tell myself, is why lots of my material has sunk without trace. </p> dvo4fun on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767&page=2#post-116377 Sun, 01 Apr 2012 07:42:05 +0000 dvo4fun 116377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How did that go nick?</p> <p>I appreciated critical, helpful comments on my stuff when I first started subbing; particularly, though not exclusively, when from those who wrote well and thus seemed to know what they were talking about. Hmm I think that makes sense. One or two still comment on most of my stuff and still appreciated. So thanks. You [may] know who you are.</p> <p>I used to read almost all subs but there seems to have been so much not-so-good-work posted over last week or so that I've become a bit more selective of late.</p> <p>I try to make positive comments if at all but may have given the occasional one star. I started out 2012 by only 5-starring genuine out-loud-laughter inducers but think I may have slipped back of late. </p> nickb on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116272 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:00:45 +0000 nickb 116272@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Danger of creation of a circle-jerk of mutual admirers. Lets give crap submissions a good kicking!!!!! (We could create a different identity for ourselves to do that. But that would be cowardly.) Hang on - I'll give it a try. </p> JohnA on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116262 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 09:02:59 +0000 JohnA 116262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Giving criticism to newbies is something I'll do once, to see the reaction and to encourage. Some people can't take criticism. But there are people who genuinely have good ideas that are let down by execution, and I think it'll do them some good to get feedback.</p> <p>Because a lot of the submissions are about current events, people submit the same angle on that story, rather than come up with something new and fresh. Then its important to bump the good stuff before it gets lost in the Bin of Forum History (TM)</p> <p>Sometimes VCG or Wayland come up with something less than brilliant, and then its my job to rub their noses in it. It's a hobby... </p> nickb on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116260 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:41:18 +0000 nickb 116260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree with a lot of this except maybe the daffodils comments. In this funny old world of creadividy, it's a Shay Given that people have a right to fail. Some do this spectacularly well, and it is interesting and informative to watch them do so. I admire those who try and help them. However, we can't look away from the constipation problem rightly highlighted here by the excellent Perks. Too much impacted material, causing a blockage to funniness. I have a modest proposal: Zero rated posts get automatically relegated after, say, one week in the WR. No more caustic one-starring. These could appear in a separate page, with a funny name. I love fish posts so we could call it the John West page. </p> Anonymous on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116257 Sat, 31 Mar 2012 08:32:28 +0000 Anonymous 116257@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perks, this is a shit flounce. Could do better. </p> Golgo13 on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116204 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 22:51:44 +0000 Golgo13 116204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VCG. You are qualified. </p> weematt on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116194 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 20:27:23 +0000 weematt 116194@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I believe it is best to treat guidelines like guidelines not unbreakable rules. They would have been called rules if they were not meant to be there to steer input in a general direction. I don't get the impression that items are discarded if they are outside guidelines.<br /> To be found funny and to be published is great but I would settle for being found funny outside the guidelines and who knows, maybe the item can be adapted to fit. I recently submitted a readers letters style item which some liked but I can see that it would be tricky to implement. Maybe gave the editorial team something to think about.</p> <p>I have had some constructive input from several members and this is much appreciated. I don't feel able to offer this yet as I am still too new (4weeks, 4.2 tickers, 1 well mashed FP)) to this activity. Wish I had found NewsBiscuit sooner, its great fun and sometimes a laugh. </p> Perks on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116188 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 19:54:19 +0000 Perks 116188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow. Funnily this most be my most commented on sub.<br /> So the general feeling is, there is some good stuff, but sometimes it gets drowned out by alot of crap. We all want to help newbies, but not if they throw so much shit hopeing something will stick. We are reluctant to give critisism because, as wayland is aware, some think we are being personnal and up our own arse and it is not worth the hassle.<br /> Thats what I thought. I think from now I will be honest and if i don't find something funny, I will say, both to new posters and old. But try and say why<br /> I have to say though the editors on here are very good at article choice. They do pick something if it is good but has sunk like the titanic. As for flouncing, i will start writing my flounce piece now for when the time is right </p> JohnA on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116182 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 17:55:53 +0000 JohnA 116182@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The hit ratio hasn't really changed (about 1 in 10 to 15) but the volume gas increased. I wonder if its worth having separate headliners and NIBs/FPs forums... </p> beau-jolly on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116142 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:44:24 +0000 beau-jolly 116142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There you have it Mandy. If someone can't be arsed to read the guidelines then they shouldn't expect praise. Some of the recent ones have just been old jokes.</p> <p>I have a daffodil in my buttonhole today. Marie Curie charity thingy. </p> Mandy Lifeboat on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116133 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:03:22 +0000 Mandy Lifeboat 116133@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Am I missing something but what is it with all the banner + one additional line submissions? No room at the newsbicuit inn for that layout is there? </p> andhrimnir on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116131 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:38:24 +0000 andhrimnir 116131@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>there's a writers room? </p> Vertically Challenged Giant on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116073 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 10:09:25 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 116073@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think yesterday was a particularly extreme example. There were a LOT of subs, most on one of 2 topics - pasties or petrol, and it just got tiring after a while trying to read them all. That's a problem when one item dominates the news, you end up with 30 different takes on the same story, and people get bored. I can't complain given that I wrote one on the petrol strikes myself, but I think that may have contributed to the low amounts of feedback/stars.</p> <p>I don't give a lot of constructive criticism/feedback because I still consider myself a newcomer despite having actually been around for a while now. I don't really feel qualified to tell somebody where they are going wrong - just because I don't like something doesn't mean it isn't good.</p> <p>On the subject of daffodils - they're alright with a bit of ketchup. </p> Sinnick on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116040 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 09:08:18 +0000 Sinnick 116040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like to actively encourage newbies that show some talent because they're often lacking a little confidence. If something nearly works, I might even give them 3* but explain why.</p> <p>However, there are several characters out there that just don't take the hint that their efforts really don't work, ever. They clog up the site, and attract others like them. I don't really want to tell them this because I can do without the implicit threat of being trolled, so I say nowt.</p> <p>Having said this, I don't sub that much, but when I do I like to think that someone out there appreciates the joke. Maybe one day I might even manage to string a few sentences together to make a NiB all of my own. </p> weematt on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116030 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 08:45:43 +0000 weematt 116030@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As a newcomer I like to receive comments so I share Perks' feelings about the apparent apathy.<br /> Perhaps the newbies are reluctant to comment until they get a better idea of what goes on here.<br /> There is an impression given by some of the comments that there is a kind of inner circle of oldies (longer standing contributors). This may be a bit off-puting to newbies but just like joining any club you just have to get to know the others and this takes time.</p> <p>I read a sub when the either the topic, the headline or both combined grab my attention. I have often been lured by the comment count but mostly find the higher counts are more like FaceBiscuit than NewsBiscuit, often a two person conversation largely off topic.</p> <p>On the technical side the forums (or is it fora) would benefit from the 'hover over the topic and be able to read a bit more' feature I have seen elsewhere. </p> Immunis on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-116010 Fri, 30 Mar 2012 07:07:30 +0000 Immunis 116010@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It is a part of the news biscuit culture that we applaud good work, but do not tend to criticise (constructive or otherwise) weaker pieces. I was lucky enough to hit tickers, Nibs and an FP very early in my NB career but it is difficult for somebody who isn't writing in the target style to be informed of their mistakes.</p> <p>On my part the lack of feedback comes from 2 reasons<br /> 1) A lack of time, most of my posts are written during my lunch break and not when I have access to NB. They are then cut, pasted and given a brush up on the site. I therefore don't spend ,as much time looking at other peoples posts as I probably should.<br /> 2) Given the amount of final edit my work goes through to get on the main site. I doubt that my feedback beyond the bleeding obvious (i.e. add punctuation, add jokes and get the story to a usable length) will make for a story that is more usable by the editors.</p> <p>I am willing to spend some time once a week in searching through the nearly stories and new writers pieces, giving constructive feedback, but it will feel horribly like work and that's not why I write for this site. </p> FlashArry on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-115944 Thu, 29 Mar 2012 23:08:53 +0000 FlashArry 115944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For some reason Lemon's post was voiced in my head by Peter Cook.<br /> There does seem to be a scattergun approach around the writers room at the moment, and some of the posts, whilst funny, are not really fitting any of the formats, and swamping some real gems in the process - just got to dig a bit deeper.<br /> I guess it'll calm down - if not, a flounce of Krakatoan proportions could be the answer : Perks gets first dibs ? </p> Lemon difficult on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-115942 Thu, 29 Mar 2012 22:43:36 +0000 Lemon difficult 115942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don<code>t talk to me about getting lost on the sea of mediocrity. First nice weekend of the year and you think, I know I</code>ll take the old tub up the coast of hilarity for a spot of lunch at the port of droll mordancy, before you know it you<code>ve misread the compass and bollocks! it</code>s the sea of mediocrity again. And can you get a decent shipping map, course not they`re mediocre.</p> <p>And daffodils are cunts. </p> button on "ALERT: THIS IS NOT A FLOUNCE." http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40767#post-115925 Thu, 29 Mar 2012 21:19:49 +0000 button 115925@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>GillsImp has clearly taken the initiative here and created a second ID to comment on all his/her submissions and award 5 stars.</p> <p>There do seem to be alot of new posters, which I think is a good thing, as long as they don't sub a load of old crap. Also very annoying if someone subs lots of one liners all at once and clogs up the first page. If you have 6 ideas all at once, pick the best one and sub that.</p> <p>Love the daffs, any colour, just glad its sping. The fact the sun has been shining does mean we have non stop glorious weather until Oct right? </p>
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