Written by Joe Leff
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Tuesday, 14 May 2013

A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street.

George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell head-first on to a display copy of 'The Times', which had been pasted on to a concrete block-board. Both of them ended up with broken noses, and Florence also smashed her front teeth.

The display copy of 'The Times' was covered in blood - giving its strangely predictive headline: 'Bizarre Accident in Gateshead' even more impact.

Mrs and Mrs Sellers are thinking of starting a new business elsewhere, since their newsagents shop hadn't been doing too well recently. "We'll maybe set up a cushion shop. We're not going to fall on hard times again," they said, with a highly extravagant nasal twang.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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