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I Was Here. [To everyone here, with messages to PC staff]

Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 06:38 AM by Forever



Suitable song, I think, given everything now. This is pretty much the only blog I've really... been unsure how to type up, and it'll be my last one for a while. Maybe forever, maybe just for a time.

As you can tell by my username styling, I'm no longer a staff member. In a way, this was a long time coming, and for a while I've realised that PC as a whole isn't really where I wanted to be, but I stayed for the various memories. I couldn't really let go of everything because how I've always seen things: when there's the end, it's the end. And I don't... accept that easily. I'm stubborn in that way that I never let go of things easily, maybe because I like the memories, maybe because I feel like when I let go of something the world will implode into a million pieces! But I know that isn't the case. However, for a short while after it happened, I couldn't really accept it. And despite me saying I'd quit a million times I just didn't, and I'm glad this happened because in a way, others made a decision for me that I couldn't.

Hm, so, I lost interest in Fifth Generation really for the most part, but I stayed around because of memories, I didn't really wanna let them go. I mean, I remember when I first got modded in Black and White; it was something I waited for, for years, and it was like "wow, they have the faith in me to handle a big section like this!" While things didn't go smoothly immediately, I soon began to fall into place. At first I thought that I had to prove everything to hstaff, which is why in a way, I tried to do everything, to show that I was worthy. I mean, originally I thought I'd be fired in a week after getting modded, and I was always paranoid about it happening and people were like "wow, she's crazy!" but while I was crazy, that didn't seem to happen. I continued doing what I was doing, which was pretty much trying to be involved in every single thing ever, which involved egg hunts, moty, get together's - the whole thing, I wanted to do everything possible and have a full experience here. And at this point I can really say what the song in this title is about -- I've done everything I've wanted and it was more that I thought it'd be. Because I really have done everything. I've gotten the chance to watch a forum grow from speculation, to two release periods, to coping with the release of another game, to the announcement of another generation and trying to keep my section alive all through that - and even to work with Kaori through most of Black and White, and to work with Jellicent and Xander for the Fifth Generation. All through that, I also brought in so many things to the Black and White, which no generation games has had before - 5 events (I think? Including Unova United), had fun with Where Is Isshu, The Rumours Thread, and all the users that came with it. Weekly polls of all sorts, caption contest, everything under the sun, even crazy threads that other mods probably wouldn't have allowed but they brought out the lighter side of Unova, which is all I wanted - and at this point I just hope that I made it into an amazing place for everyone else through everything I've done. On the other side, things like the yearly Egg Hunts with Rukario, which I hope everyone enjoyed, MotY - which I practically completely took over in 2012 (not too sure if people were that happy with that though!), April Fools - 2012 and 2011's April Fools were amazingly fun and I feel so privileged to get to be involved in them. I mean, the first time I really got into the community was 2006 - at April Fools. It was the first time I really felt a part of the community, because I was scared for the community, and while I was 14 then, it really stuck with me all throughout, so I was glad to get a chance to be involved in that (and even design the style for April Fools 2012!) Actually, on the styles point, I've released all the styles I've made since I got modded, I think, and I was really glad that I got to make them all with the help of Kip and others, for all of you to enjoy. Then Get Together's - gradually I became more involved after I got modded, and the 2010 Get Together is special to me because I got modded on the morning of access to the planning forum so it was like two things at once, and I remember exactly how I felt and all. It was so much fun, and I'm glad that Hiroshi Sotomura had the confidence in me to be so involved. Then 2012's came along and I basically took over the latter half or at least most of it (and even got to mod the planning forum which is something I wanted for like EVER). I've been involved in so many staff discussions, so many staff dramas, so many different things, but I think that was just the journey. I said I'd regret it but I don't. Through it all, the good and bad, it was worth it that I had the experience and got to know so many different people.

If I stayed on staff I would've just grown more bitter towards everything, and everyone. And that isn't a good thing at all. It would've all just become... stale, and I would've stayed just for staying (which is really what I was doing, given that two days ago I intended to stay on staff til August then quit although I likely wouldn't have). I've also wanted to make this blog for a long while, but never could really get to making the blog, and really did look forward to making it so often. I think the weirdest thing at this point is just getting used to the fact that the world still turns now that I'm not there, but I know it'll do fine. In a way, I kind of hope nobody becomes the new me, and that I left an individual mark on here that nobody else can fill, but if there is someone who steps up to that - good luck, you'll need it! In a way though, I knew this would be my last year, I mean, even from when the year started. I made a resolution to get more involved in Smogon, and I really did that. At that point I started to realise that Smogon was where I felt... okay. Smogon kept me happy when PC brought me down, and it was draining for a while. There's also lots of ex-staff who aren't at PC as much anymore, but also have made a mark on Smogon, such as Kylie-chan aka Jumpluff, and Vrai, aka Zebraiken - and that's what I hope to do, too. I mean, I still care about all of PC, but I'm glad it's over. It'll be sad at first, but I'll get used to it, and maybe in a few years someone will say "oh wow, I remember that Forever person, she sure made an impact on her section, and PC". That sounds conceited, but I can guarantee you that anyone else who has been on PC staff hopes for that, and thinks that way.

To conclude, yes, I was fired for... well, my attitude for the most part. But after everything at this point I understand why I felt this way and I really think I should've made the decision to quit earlier on, but hey you can't change the past! I can however change the future, and I hope that in a few years or something when I look back on what I've done at PC, I have only positive memories.

Now to the current staff (I typed up something similar a while ago, and I can't remember what I wrote, but this applies more of what I hope for their futures I thiiink! Just CTRL + F your name):

Aerilyn: Good luck with the next generation :) I hope it turns out fun for everyone, and that you have fun modding it, because believe me, modding a new generation is the most amazing thing ever (I mean you modded HG/SS BUT a new generation is different, I think), and I hope you stick it through to the whole ride - make it as fun as you can :3

Alexial357/Derozio: Alexial x Derozio forever. I think we all think this by now! To Alexial, I'm so glad you got to be PC staff after being such a great member back in CBC days, and I think you're doing an amazing job with art. Don't feel let down if art isn't so active, and just give it your all you can! I might come back and post a gallery of art one day, too, and maybe by then I can contribute to art as a whole. Same applies to Derozio, too (I'm also really glad you got modded - because after all your effort you made it, and now you can make A&D into a really active place). It'll have its ups and downs, but if any A&D team can do it, it's you two (aka Alexial and Derozio).

Antemortem: Minzyy. Minzy was such a better name on you, but still. I really hope you let Entertainment and Culture? Entertainment and Media? Other Entertainment? Culture and Media? I cannot remember, but let it thrive. I know Cat Dog set a pretty good starting mark there and I hope you continue to make it a fun place for all members of all sorts, maybe in a few years or something I'll go post there again or something and fangirl over Glee (that's if it's any good, but from the way it is now, I somewhat doubt it, but hey you never know the future!)

Astinus:

I understand that it sucks that writing is dead at times, but keep your head up! In a way you could maybe inspire the world's most famous writer if they find their way here, I dunno, but nothing is impossible. Just never give in and you can make writing a place where everyone wants to go. For the record, I really enjoyed the poem of the week contests a few years ago, ahaha.

BinaryPeaches/Netto Azure:

Other Trivia, or Fun and Games as it's now called (and Pokemon Trivia) is a tough place to be at (after being a regular for so long, yeahh...), and you've both done good to be there for so long. But even with that in mind, you've both done really well, and have helped save it from the drama place it once was, into a respectable forum. Hopefully PPC's become really big, and are restored to their former glory, too. If not, don't give up, I'm sure you'll find something that works for your place! :3

Bloodex/Shining Raichu:

OVP was a better name :'( But honestly I think you guys can keep making it into a really fun chit-chat-y place where people feel free to come and go. Just don't get too tired out with replying to chit chat threads and things like that, and just concentrate on having fun there. Same applies for Shining & Other Clubs or... Fanclubs and Groups! Don't get tired out trying to be awesome, because as a team (you and the members) you can work to make each club awesome and individual.

Cirno:

NU/W, or... TOO MANY NAME CHANGES DAMNIT. The Welcome Lounge seems like it can be a really fun place, and I'm glad that you have it because you have the perfect personality for it - and you can keep it fun. Just don't get stressed out if you get tired of welcoming people, just look inside yourself and remember your friendly personality, and how you wanna make NU/W into a place where everyone wants to go to because it's the portal into PC - a place which can literally change lives.

Curious.:

Fourth Generation hmmm. It's in the past, yeah but you can make it into the future. Luckily you have HG/SS and everyone loves HG/SS and that can be a major selling point. But remember that even though it's in the past you can still make it great for the future, and a place where people can look back on the rebirth of their childhood memories, or a revolutionary generation.

donavannj: TCG looks like a really dead forum :( But with that in mind you can make people care again, I'm sure. I don't know how, but I know that you're a genius and you can make it happen, just don't get set back from it being so dead compared to the other forums, and just... keep it how it is! Or at least, keep it better than it is.

DrFuji

Emulation sux. But really, wow, Emulation is so big and it's handled so well, just... don't get too stressed out I guess if people go crazy with fake X/Y ROMs, or, actually I have no clue what'll happen there but ya. Even though it's gigantic and attracts a lot of PC's memberbase, don't let that get to you, because you really have one of the most important jobs here.

EternallyAnna:

So glad you got modded. You're going to make Anime into such a fun place for everyone that I don't really have anything to say, just enjoy it and try to motivate people to watch it more imo. I mean that's not saying much buuut yeah. Fifth Gen anime da best obviously ;)

Hybrid Trainer:

Technology hmm idk. You can really do a lot there, and I don't think you'll really get tired out, just remember to make it fun!!!

Jellicent/XanderO:

I hope you guys can do those things I suggested in that unapproved sticky, and if you still wanted my suggestions for those to get the emblems in the travel journal and stuff, I can still mention them (but idm if you guys don't need them!) Oh, and could one you possibly take over the caption contest? Actually, if you guys wanna, idk. Discussing a city I probably won't do anymore even though that was a "me" thing but yeah! Most importantly, please, make sure that the glory of Unova remains, that everyone remembers how amazing Unova is and was, and that it'll always be in our hearts forever. Maybe I'll come back and post there, but I doubt it, since it might leave me a little sad - but really, make everyone remember Fifth Generation, even if it means you have to brainwash them, idk, but make sure nobody ever forgets the Fifth Generation. Actually I might still report there occasionally lmao but I likely won't post. :x Treat it really nicely make sure nobody ever scratches it, do everything possible to sustain it! I believe in you guys :)

Livewire:

Dungeons and Dragons doesn't really seem like an exciting section to me since it's mostly American debates BUT it's an essential place to PC, and I think a lot of people can learn from it. Don't get tired out from all the dramas because they're likely to happen but concentrate more on the interesting debates and you're sure in for a good time!

Logiedan:

Pixels! You have so many skills, and I noticed that before I got fired you seem to have drifted from the staff, or at least from what I've noticed. Let others help you out if you need it, and make Pixel Art into a fun place for everyone :3

Mac/tabor62/twistedpuppy:

Enjoy your RNG? Idk but you guys can make Trade fun to others as long as it doesn't steal BC's thunder. I'm tired out now and I'm not really sure what I'm saying but you three have made Trade great so far so keep it up for the upcoming generation!

Maruno:

Don't know much about Game Development BUT I hope you have a pleasant time continuing to mod it!

Olli97:

I remember back when I started in Mixed Community Groups... even tho it's Pokemon Groups now, just keep the awesome atmosphere that makes people stick around PC from there, yo!

Skymin:

You're doing awesome with roleplay, and just idk, enjoy being someone else. I don't really have much to say there unfortunately ;;

Sydian:

You can do a lot with your sections I just think that maybe you should... watch yourself sometimes? I mean you get heated about PC stuff sometimes because you care a lot, but just take a step back when it gets stressful, and don't make the mistake I made in not stepping back when needing to. Just enjoy PC and relax, and concentrate on what you enjoyed when you were first a mod, or at least, when you were a member!

Toujours:

You're pretty much my favourite mod ever (with my Kaori, Shining, and Wolflare being the other ones that I can think of off the top of my head) and you're just so great. I have no advice to you because I know you can make Pokemon General into whatever you want. Stay at staff til you die, stay at PC til you die, whatever you want, idk, but you deserve great things. I want to see you as an smod one day, because I know you deserve it, and I'd love to see you shine brighter than you can, or at least already do now. I can at least not be staff and know that you share the same thoughts as me on everything so that you can carry on doing as you're doing, and standing up for everyone and everything good in this world and I cannot say how much I care about you. :( But I do, you're so great at being a mod, and so great as a person.

Wolflare:

BC has a suggestions thread and we discuss server stuff so I have nothing to say to you other than you're awesome and never quit - don't let the past of S&M nostalgia (or bad parts) get you down, and just concentrate on how active BC has become and how it can become better. :)

I'd continue but I'm tired out and I've already let hstaff know how I feel about them in another place, sooo yeah!

To everyone on staff: Make sure people remember the legacy you leave, and make sure you do as much as you can on staff, and feel as fufilled as possible - and that you really have done EVERYTHING you can for your section. Just make a difference! n_n

To hstaff: Sorry for the agony I've given you guys over the years! I hope however, that you guys are at least happy with the effort I've put into Fifth Generation and everything else, and honestly, for the most part I sent the appeal because I was still shocked, and secondly, I guess I needed to hear for sure that it really was the conclusion. But! Not the end. Nothing is ever the end unless you call it the end, and rather it's just concluding my staff experience for now. Maybe I'll come back when I'm 40 or something -- lol joking! Nah but I'm sorry about what I have put you guys through, and I hope that you guys know that everything I've done has been just to make PC better - which is really a bad thing. I fell into everything, fell into it all, and it wasn't really right of me to do that. I've made mistakes, but I hope that when you guys look back on what I've done here, you think of the positives I've done for PC.

To the rest of PC... I hope to be involved in the Get Together, and I'll still stick around Battle Center, as I'm still heavily involved in the server, but I think for the most part I'll just step back. Maybe I'll be active again and posting around here in a few years, maybe I won't. All I know is that I have had fun, and the memories here have been some of my greatest. It's weird to think that I'm not going to be around here as staff anymore, but I know it's for the best. I still plan to be active around the server, and on Skype, as foreverskylight if any of you want to contact me.

Oh, and nothing is impossible. :) Also, if someone doesn't mind, could you let the others on staff know about this blog? Just cause I have individual messages for pretty much all of you guys, and I'll feel like I can finally lay everything to rest if you guys see it!
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Hikamaru's Avatar
    I'm really gonna miss seeing that nice blue on you gurl, but you will always have a place in my heart as the one person who changed my life on PC forever. Keep shining bright and remember, nothing is impossible!
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 07:34 AM by Hikamaru Hikamaru is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Sorry to see you go, Forever, I dont know you that well but I always saw you around and think you're one of the nicest users here. Good luck with everything in your life :)
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 08:23 AM by Shiny Celebi Shiny Celebi is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Synerjee's Avatar
    Thanks for everything you've contributed to this place, Nica. Thanks for introducing me to competitive battling, for being an awesome mod, for simply being you. You've clearly made this place alive and nothing would ever be the same without you. I'll be seeing you on the server; say hi to me sometime! All the very best in your future and you'll Forever always be in our hearts. <3
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 08:46 AM by Synerjee Synerjee is online now
  4. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar
    Quote:
    but I can guarantee you that anyone else who has been on PC staff hopes for that, and thinks that way.
    No actually, I'm just happy to make friends and have a good time. Because I wouldn't want to leave people with just a memory- I aim to keep my friendships- no matter how far between we end up speaking or how busy we get.

    The way I'm reading this is.. a bit petty. I feel like because you can't be fully adorned like before.. you're leaving? Maybe I'm wrong but last I read, you were really attached to this place and the people here (Fritz, Dash, Hikari, etc.) but I'm guessing you're trying to move them to Smogon because you're angry over your demotion (hence why Hikari just joined smogon.) And I just gotta say.. it's about the people.. not about the place. If people here are upsetting you, then fair enough, but honestly? The way I see this it is just outlash because you're upset and you're trying to convince yourself, and others, that you aren't with this blog. Your actions speak louder than words, though, to me.. and I'm sorry if I don't believe everything said in this blog and I hate to be dished BS, so that's why I wrote this. I saw your leaving coming as soon as Hikari posted the blog about her joining Smogon, hence my comment in her blog the other day saying "I have things figured out now."

    In the end though, you do what's right for you, and if moving on is right for you, then I'm glad you're going for it. Remember what's important to you- and remember what your own personal goals are. Good luck with photography, and good health to you and your family. Cheers!
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 09:35 AM by Kura Kura is offline
  5. Old Comment
    seeker's Avatar
    You are welcome for the opportunity that you were provided on staff. However h-staff are individuals the same way mods are, I don't know why we're segregated. Which is another story I'll be speaking about soon.

    Anyway, it's a pity about what happened, but just remember you're not a victim. Not to other people's actions, not in this case. I just hope you bounce back and wish you well as I've already done.
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 09:44 AM by seeker seeker is offline
  6. Old Comment
    vaporeon7's Avatar
    Let the words nothing is impossible guide you through the bad until the day you die. Now begins your next level in the game of life!
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 02:37 PM by vaporeon7 vaporeon7 is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Fire Flyy's Avatar
    ah so ur becoming the next jumpluff, best of luck

    also i hope everything's going okay.
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 03:14 PM by Fire Flyy Fire Flyy is offline
  8. Old Comment
    God's Avatar
    in all honesty, i believe you needed to leave a couple years ago. not for anything related to events on pc, but because you need to not move to another website but actually make something of yourself in real life. although i'll miss you, you need to get the hell off the internet and move out of your grandparents house and do something with your life. i mean that in the nicest way possible, i really do.
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 03:44 PM by God God is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Forever's Avatar
    Yo Kura, I have been growing a part from PC for years, and literally I speak to nobody here, the staff were the only ones I really spoke to here. Everyone else I spoke to on the server, I'm not leaving the server, so what's the difference? I know what's better for me. Also, no, I'm not trying to move them to Smogon at all. Hikari going there was completely her decision, I just said I'll be doing more on Smogon. That's all. :/ If you got fired while still active would you like to post around actively in the section you modded? No, it would feel strange. The only sections I posted in were Battle Center (rarely), Fifth Generation, and staff forums for the most part. I obviously can't post in staff forums, which leaves BC - which is what I said. Search my recent posts if you don't believe me, but I have a million ways to contact those I have been most in contact with, and I'm open on Twitter/Skype/IRC/Server, so I don't really see the issue.

    @ Gav: The only reason I didn't write hstaff is because each mod thing was relative to their section since I already told everyone how they felt in that thread, and there was nothing really section-relative I could tell you guys :(

    thanks everyone else.
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 06:48 PM by Forever Forever is offline
  10. Old Comment
    awolfsquared's Avatar
    Well done Nica, you did an amazing job as staff. You've influenced so many here people here it's unbelievable. You got me and many others more into the 5th generation and you done a wonderful job. It's so sad to see you go away and move on, but it seems you're ready. Wherever life leads you, may you lead it with the same passion as you did on PC. But I do hope you visit now and then, it's nice seeing your presence here now and then. Either way if you do or not, I wish you well in your future life and hope you excel as much as you excelled here.
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 09:50 PM by awolfsquared awolfsquared is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Forever View Comment
    Yo Kura, I have been growing a part from PC for years, and literally I speak to nobody here, the staff were the only ones I really spoke to here.
    Guess it isn't much of a surprise then? I wouldn't know; I never go into your section.. but ok.
    Quote:
    :/ If you got fired while still active would you like to post around actively in the section you modded? No, it would feel strange.
    My firing was for inactivity, but I still did once portfolio applications were over for university (in the summer.) It wasn't strange at all for me- I'm still here even now, aren't I? It's still my favourite section. So like I said, justify yourself all you want, sure, but don't tell me stuff like "ask anyone, cause they'll agree with me" because, as you see, not everyone does.

    Agreeing with Harlequin, also agreeing with AWSquared's sentiments.
    Posted May 22nd, 2013 at 11:43 PM by Kura Kura is offline
  12. Old Comment
    OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire's Avatar
    Good luck Forever. I thank you for making the start of Unova so fun, I still cherish those memories. And while we may not have talked as much I did/do see you as a friend. Again good luck in life, I'll miss you.
    Posted May 23rd, 2013 at 07:03 AM by OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Avishka's Avatar
    Oh god, how come I didn't see this before?! D:
    You are an amazing person and I wish you all the best!! :3
    Posted May 25th, 2013 at 04:46 AM by Avishka Avishka is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Belldandy's Avatar
    NINIIIII <3 Much wub and we'll talk on Skype
    Posted May 25th, 2013 at 08:12 PM by Belldandy Belldandy is offline
  15. Old Comment
    Shining Raichu's Avatar
    I kind of resent that as one of your best friends I was lumped in together with Dipu in this blog js!!

    TOUJOURS GOT HER OWN PARAGRAPH!
    Posted July 9th, 2013 at 06:28 AM by Shining Raichu Shining Raichu is offline
 

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