User talk:5noname5

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edit Pre-Rendered Welcome!



TLB

The Balloon welcomes you!

Hello, 5noname5, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thanks for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, goddammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, particularly the second one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, or need more help with something, try these:
If you feel like asking someone for help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, in the help forums, or on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. With the forums and the IRC, keep in mind that the first response of the community is almost always general silliness. We are after all, a silly wiki, run by numerous silly, silly people. When you edit discussion pages, though, make sure you sign your name, using four tildes (~~~~) or the "sign" button (Button sig), above the edit box. This'll automatically produce your name and the date, and lets everyone know who the hell you are. Signing will also help you avoid the {{tilde}} template.
When you write articles, make sure you start with enough on the page so that it's not deletion-quality. If you must create a stub that you plan to expand on in the near future, use a {{WIP}} or {{Construction}} tag to mark it as a work-in-progress. However, if you leave a tagged WIP unedited for a full week, it'll wind up huffed. If the idea of impending deletion doesn't appeal to you, you should like I do, and start pages in userspace, first. This means making a page like User:5noname5/Article about stuff. In userspace just about anything goes(save for the obvious no-nos, like shock pics or other stupidity), and you can build and rework your page(s) at your leisure. Once it's done, just move into mainspace, maybe getting a pee review at some point to get constructive feedback on your article.
For new users seeking help, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.
Lastly, and most importantly, have fun with it! As a comedy wiki, that's kinda what Uncyc is for. Enjoy yourself, and remember to never take anything anyone here says too seriously. We have serious moments, but generally we stay pretty laid back. Also, I'm not a bot. Just 'cause you saw a similar message on a bunch of other users' pages doesn't mean I didn't have to copy and paste this one onto yours with my own meatsack of a finger. Anyways, welcome to the machine! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:48, Sep 10


edit I Can't believe it's not a Pre-Rendered Welcome!



TLB

The Balloon welcomes you!

Hello, 5noname5, you Hell destined idiot, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Your contributions suck. I hope you get the hell away before you fuck stuff up. If not, We will kill you. Painfully. ...Yeah. That's what they all say. But, in case you insist on being such an imbecile:
If you read anything at all in your pathetic life, make it the above four links, particularly the fifth one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, the site we hope you leave immediately, or need more help with cutting your internet connection, try these:
If you feel like begging someone for help, feel hesitant to ask me on my talk page, in the help forums, or on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. With the forums and the IRC, keep in mind that the first response of the community is almost always general stupidity. We are after all, a stupid wiki, run by numerous stupid, stupid people. When you edit discussion pages, though, make sure you sign your name, using seven tildes (~~~~) or the "sign" button (Button sig), above the edit box. This'll automatically produce your name and the date, and lets everyone know who the hell you are, so we know what to engrave on your tombstone. Signing will also help you avoid the {{tilde}} template, but it won't help you avoid the angry mob that will chase you away.
When you write articles, make sure you start with enough on the page so that it's not deletion-quality. If you must create a stub that you plan to expand on in the near future, use a {{WIP}} or {{Construction}} tag to mark it as a work-in-progress. However, if you leave a tagged WIP unedited for a full week, it'll wind up huffed. If the idea of impending deletion doesn't appeal to you, you should like I do, and start pages in userspace, first. This means making a page like User:5noname5/Article about stuff. In userspace just about anything goes(especially shock pics or other stupidity), and you can build and rework your dumb pages, maybe getting a pee review at some point to get flaming feedback on your poor excuse of an article.
For new users seeking help, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-pizza program is there to deliver experienced pizza straight to your door. Browse our list of available pizzas, and leave them a message at their pizza parlor.
Lastly, and most importantly, be a slave! As a slavery wiki, that's kinda what Uncyc is for. pain yourself, and remember to take anything anyone here says extremely seriously. We have funny, disgusting moments, but generally we stay pretty evil. Also, I'm a bot. Just 'cause you saw a different message on a bunch of other users' pages doesn't mean I wrote a different thing on every one!. Anyways, go to hell! - --5noname5 00:30, 20 November 2008 (UTC) 01:48, Sep 10

edit "I'll rubber your duck"

Now among one of my favorite Uncyc quotes of all time. Thank you! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 02:42, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Yes, it is a grand work of art, isn't it? "Rubber" and "duck"... It is so complicated and mysterious, The way they are bridged together with the "I'll" and "your", it truly would be loved by the renowned playwright Shakespeare himself...--5noname5 18:29, 13 November 2008 (UTC)

Um... yes. Have you written anything else lately? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:53, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
If I came across as strange to you, don't feel alarmed. I am a very, very, weird person. As an answer to your question, Go Figure--5noname5 00:38, 20 November 2008 (UTC)
I don't mind the weird. Everyone is weird, it's just a matter of, like, levels, man.... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 01:53, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: 20th November2008

MrN9001 20:30, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: 27th November2008

MrN9001 20:48, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)

MrN9001 18:55, 5 December 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: 11th December

MrN9001 20:53, 11 December 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 1st January 2009

MrN9001 00:49, 3 January 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 8th January 09

MrN9001 15:45, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 15th January

MrN9001 21:18, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January

MrN9001 02:17, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 5th February 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 03:01, Feb 5

edit UnSignpost 12th February 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:33, Feb 11

edit UnSignpost 19th February2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:52, Feb 19

edit UnSignpost 26th February 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:08, Feb 26

edit UnSignpost 5th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 13:38, Mar 6

edit UnSignpost 12th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 21:23, Mar 13

edit UnSignpost 19th March

MnbvcxzBot 04:44, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 26th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:27, Mar 28

edit UnSignpost 2nd April 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:32, Apr 2

edit UnSignpost April 9/10th, 2009

Hand-delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:50, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost April 16th, 2009

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:58, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 23rd April 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 21:22, Apr 23

edit UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!!

Hand delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 23:02, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

edit The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special


Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:54, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost May 14th

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:38, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost May 21st

Brought to you by Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:25, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:05, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:42, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

I think I'm going crazy. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:11, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:21, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:22, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

edit Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th

We're not late you're just high!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink 15:17 30 June 2009

edit UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 18:48, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 9th July 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 21:58, Jul 9

edit UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 21:57, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009

This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 18:25, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:02, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!

Hand delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 21:48, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:06, Aug 18

edit UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:00, Aug 24

edit UnSignpost 4th September

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:50, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Randomber -26th

In a nutshell, please think of the rhino</noinclude> US Navy aircraft carriers! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:12, 7 September 2009

edit UnSignpost September 10/17

This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:03, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009

Hand delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 16:21, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:21, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Sometime October 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:08, Oct 16

edit UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 18:04, Oct 23

edit UnSignpost 29-10-2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:28, Nov 3

edit UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 23:57, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost January several-days-agoth

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter UU Manhole 09:52, Jan 18

edit UnSignpost 21th January 2009

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:30, Jan 21

edit UnSignpost 28th January 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 14:49, Jan 28

edit UnSignpost 4th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 15:06, Feb 4

edit UnSignpost 11th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 12:56, Feb 11

edit UnSignpost 18th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 23:30, Feb 18

edit UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:36, Feb 28

edit UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 00:04, Mar 6

edit UnSignpost 11th March 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 10:54, Mar 12

edit UnSignpost 11th March 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 10:55, Mar 12

edit UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:41, Mar 18

edit UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)
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