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Permlink Replies: 16 - Pages: 2 [ Previous | 1 2 ] - Last Post: Sep 14, 2017 9:44 PM Last Post By: C. Gold Threads: [ Previous | Next ]
Jamal

Posts: 168
Registered: 02/19/13
Re: The Day Momma Made Me Dance
Posted: Sep 13, 2017 10:58 PM   in response to: Patrice Brown in response to: Patrice Brown
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Patrice Brown wrote:
Jamal so review it and put your expert opinion under the book. I guess this is constructive criticism and thanks but i did not ask for this. In return are you a best selling author? What is the name of your book? Can you upload the link now? Make sure you leave your opinion of my book under the amazon review, every text helps.

Actually I was wrong. Your 39 page tome is an incredibly broad reaching and sensitive examination of a mother-daughter relationship that would make Hemingway or Jane Austen green with envy. I crave reading more but I will await the movie that will no doubt come from this literary masterpiece. At just over $4 it's a bargain.

Now does that make you feel better?

J

C. Gold

Posts: 315
Registered: 02/17/15
Re: The Day Momma Made Me Dance
Posted: Sep 13, 2017 11:12 PM   in response to: Jamal in response to: Jamal
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Jamal wrote:
I would be suggesting you learn to format correctly. Compare the format of your Look Inside with those of several authors who have sales rankings.

I addition you need to learn how to write and convey a story. You are not be doing that from what I see in the Look Inside, it is mostly meaningless emotive babble - you should convey in simple terms the promise of a story (or whatever it is) so that the reader will want more. At the moment it syas very little and says it poorly.

I'm afraid to say any more as from what I see of your postings, you'll probably explode and splatter goo all over the inside of my screen. A strange way to behave from someone who claims to be an experienced counselor

J.

The book is too short to show any of the actual story because the front matter takes all the space. The Look Inside is:

Dedication (written by the author)
Foreward (written by a 9yo kid complete with grammar mistakes)
Preface (back to the author who is now doting on her one and only daughter like the boy who wrote the Foreward doesn't exist. The book was written for the daughter only. This sends me a bad vibe.)
About the Author (by the author)

That's far too much stuff at the front. About the Author goes at the end of the book and there shouldn't even be a Preface with the Dedication and Foreward present. Clean up the grammar mistakes or make the 9yo bit known at the start so readers don't think that's the quality of writing to expect throughout the story. Look at other books in the categories you chose and see how little front matter they have. If this is a kid's book, kids want to get at the pictures, not wade through boring adult stuff.

The blurb starts off with As a mom... which makes me think this is written from a mom's point of view. Then it goes Until one day, Momma has had enough. Now I'm thinking this is from the kid's view. This plus the age level set to 1-14 sends the message that this would be written as a children's book. Yet the first half of the blurb was an adult point of view. I'm so confused.

The cover is cute and it plus the title makes me think this is a kid's book written from a kid's point of view. But with the adult sounding front matter in the Look Inside, once again I'm confused as to what this book is.

Finally, the pricing looks a bit too high compared to the other ones at mostly 2.99 and it should probably be in KU to match most of the others in its category. I would also recommend working out how to print it using CreateSpace since I've heard that a lot of kids books are purchased in print form.

Remember - all of the visible bits of your book on that Amazon page are advertisements trying to lure people into buying your book. So study your competition. How do they word their blurbs? How much front matter do they have (not much)? And how is their pricing? You want your 'advertisements' to look as good or better than everyone else so you can capture interested buyers.
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