Written by queen mudder
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 22 March 2014

image for Russian cosmonauts kicked off International Space Station as sanctions start to bite
Romulan intransigence has fucked up a raft of space treaties

Space, the Final Affrontiere - Up to half a dozen Russian space men will be getting the boot this weekend amid Starfleet suspicions their Klingon credentials are a pile of Romulan crap.

An executive order signed by United Federation of Planets commander Barrack Obama sees all Starfleet phasers set on stun until the USS Crazy Whorse arrives with a suitably armed escort party.

And dispatches the renegades to the Alpha Quadrant outer limits where their chums the Kardashians - uh, Cardassians! - have a detox outpost.

This morning's announcement is the latest twist in a tit-for-tat spat over precious Federation territories in the Delta Quadrant where Romulan intransigence has fucked up important treaties about mining of dilithium crystals and other galactic stuff.

It follows the publication of outcasts' IDs on the official Starfleet Intelligence website which names the persona non-grata as Oleg Kalashnikov, 69, Yuri Gagarin-Rodham-Clinton, Condoleezza Arafat (no relation!), Vladimir Sauerkraut, Mikhail Pissof and Igor Princezmargaritsspottybutt.

Commenting on the latest development a source close to Q The Omnipotent Being said 'the Romulans have had it coming to them a very long time'.

As has their dominatrix mistress, the Borg Queen.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

7 6 15 12
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more
http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/120127/russian-cosmonauts-kicked-off-international-space-station-as-sanctions-start-to-bite
www.thespoof.com
crawl=CC-MAIN-2015-35
49080
application/http; msgtype=response
sha1:G5HQJNVVVHRFE5BN6DROXH7CVN5HEV6A
<urn:uuid:4529c816-6715-4227-be81-cf00fc4fd587>
2015-09-05T01:33:00Z
213.229.83.102
sha1:LODK5TKQIQYRW52URQ5M6KTHPFVANIMP
<urn:uuid:53c23708-e3a7-4074-88b8-c3379299c479>
http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/120127/russian-cosmonauts-kicked-off-international-space-station-as-sanctions-start-to-bite
length
response
<urn:uuid:4d801592-44c1-4017-9999-2d65b4a84e7d>
robots: classic
hostname: ip-10-171-96-226.ec2.internal
software: Nutch 1.6 (CC)/CC WarcExport 1.0
isPartOf: CC-MAIN-2015-35
operator: CommonCrawl Admin
description: Wide crawl of the web for August 2015
publisher: CommonCrawl
format: WARC File Format 1.0
conformsTo: http://bibnum.bnf.fr/WARC/WARC_ISO_28500_version1_latestdraft.pdf