My sincerest apologies

For being gone for 15 whole days! How did you handle life without regular blog postings from your truly?

I can answer that, I think, for most of you that read this.. you were involved in The Wedding. The Wedding of Rachel and Chuck. Which was amazing and perfect and I have so much to tell you OMG.

While I work on that, I’ve got something fun for you to look at.

If you know me, you know that one of my favoritest writers is David Sedaris. And in one of his books, he writes a piece reviewing a children’s pageant. And it is hilarious.

There’s someone on the Internet doing something similar. He’s reviewing kids’ artwork.

Now, before I give you the link, a disclaimer.

I am a huge fan of kid-made artwork. The closet door of my bedroom is covered in drawings by some of my favorite kiddos.

But this guy…it’s just so funny.

Here’s an example of a drawing and some of his commentary, found at his site, titled I Am Better Than Your Kids:

“At some point Gage drew as much as he could and thought that he needed help from an expert in mouth and ear anatomy. Unfortunately, all he had was his sister.
Your sister’s contributions to this drawing are indistinguishable from your own, if not worse (apparently your ear is translucent and floats in front of your head). Why?”

I love it.

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My best thing

Deena from Jersey Shore says that. The Roommate hates it.

I think by “best” she means favorite, and I know I’m right because I have relatives in New Jersey so I can speak the language. Clarification – my relatives in Jerz have nothing to do with Jersey Shore in any way, shape or form. And I’m really just guessing about the “best” stuff.

Anyways. My new best thing? This blog: #whatshouldwecallme

So funny. So great. I need to learn how to make gifs.

Most important stuff

The closest I’ve ever had to a house fire, thankfully, was that time The Roommate burnt popcorn so badly the living room smelled like it for almost a week. And hopefully it’s something I never have to deal with. But one of the questions that provides an answer that tells you a lot about a person is “What would you grab if your house was on fire?”

There’s been a blog – and soon, a book – made out of that question, and it simultaneously serves to feed our nosiness and maybe make people think about what’s the most important stuff they have in their possession.

It’s called “The Burning House” and people send in submissions – photos – of neatly arranged items that they’d grab if they had to make a quick exit from their home, something that hopefully they’d never really have to experience.

There are a lot of electronics, photos and pets, of course. And while I’m not sure yet if I’ll submit it to the site, here’s my pile.

I gave myself only about a minute to think about it. In case you can’t see everything- it includes the following:
• Sixteen Candles DVD
• Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison record from my grandpa
• Laptop
• Camera
• Peanut, my stuffed elephant that I’ve had forever and has been with me on just about every trip I’ve ever been on…
• Pictures of me and my grandpa when I was little, he’s playing his harmonica in all of them
• Boston and Louisville hats
• The Wire Complete Series
• My four favorite books: “Water for Elephants,” “To Kill A Mockingbird,” “Me Talk Pretty One Day” and “The Help.”
• Little decorated box Alistair made me in England with British pounds in it
• Door sign thing that says “Shhh Laura is sleeping” that’s been on the door in my room (except for my rooms in college) since before I can remember.

What’s in your pile?

That shit cray

Y’all might have heard I have a Twitter.

On that Twitter I follow people, and they follow me.

(My dad is confused already, I bet.)

One person I don’t follow, but debate doing so at least once a month is Kanye West. Why? Because he’s insane.

He tweets a lot so it can get kind of annoying (kind of like when I watch Hoarders and live-Tweet my reactions, amiright?) but the things he says are so off-the-wall most of the time, it’s almost worth it.

And people are doing all kinds of fun stuff with his crazy.

Like the lady who cross-stitches his Tweets and sells them in her etsy shop

And then there is that video of Josh Groban singing them.

Well. The newest one I’ve found takes it to a whole other level. Someone has taken the words of wisdom from Mr. West and put them on screencaps of Saved By The Bell.

It’s called Kanye’d By The Bell and even though they don’t seem to be updating it anymore (or at least they haven’t since November), there are four pages of crazy goodness to enjoy.

Lonely, like a shoe with no foot, which I’d prefer to the alternative

One time when I was driving, I saw a shoe. In the middle of the road. It was weird.

No idea how it got there. Was it thrown out? Did it fall off some redneck who was hanging their foot out the window while driving? (I say redneck, but I’d totally do it if it was more comfortable) Did someone get hit by a car? Is it a sign for something?

Regardless of what it was for or from, it was weird.

It’s not the only time I saw something weird in the road and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

There was another time I saw this dinosaur on the sidewalk.

Why does any of this matter? Because someone has made a blog out of sightings just like these.

It’s called “Sad Stuff On The Street” and it’s great. People submit photos of stuff on the street that seems as ridiculously out of place as that shoe was. And the commentary on it is even better. My favorite is the “Depressed Teddy Bear Series,” because apparently a lot of people leave teddy bears randomly on the street.

Check it out.

#dinosaurproblems

I have never seen the cartoon movie “Meet The Robinsons” but I will forever love it because of this one scene from the preview that makes me laugh every time.

And now, someone has taken that – and a pretty impressive drawing ability – and made it into a blog about our poor friend, the T-Rex. That big head and little arms don’t let him do a lot of things we take for granted. Like put in eyedrops, or play the parachute game at school.

I read a lot of different things during the day, for work, for fun, from news to photo blogs. And this is one of my favorites at the moment. I am addicted.

It’s only natural that this is the next step

I like lists. And organization. And generally orderly things. It makes for a clean room but damn if it isn’t annoying when I have to get up out of bed to push my desk chair in because it’s bothering me for no other reason than it’s askew.

Yeah, I’m that weirdo. Guys are just lining up.

I would link to every list I put on this blog but that would just be ridiculous. If you want to see them that badly, they have their own category.

YUP.

But this isn’t about lists. It’s about charts. And the thought a couple of guys had to devote a blog to various types of them. Some are bar, some are pie, some are venn diagrams… it’s fascinating.

One of my personal favorites is a pie chart that shows what happens when you try to move a photo in Microsoft Word.

It’s fittingly called “I Love Charts” which is similar to what this blog might be named if The Roommate hadn’t come up with “On Account Of.” True story.

Check it.

When Twitter takes over real life

True story – I use Twitter more than Facebook these days. I prefer it. Granted there are still awesome things about Facebook, but my attention span has dwindled to the point that Twitter’s good enough for me. Late-stage ADD, if you will.

And sometimes it takes over my life. Like, when The Roommate and I text each other and use hashtags… #itshappened

Or when I see something outside of Twitter and comment as a hashtag, with my voice.

For example. A few weeks ago, someone I know mentioned they were really getting burnt out on eating at an expensive restaurant. My reply? First world problems.

That’s a hashtag. And if you don’t know what a hashtag is, well then that’s why you shouldn’t get a Twitter account, Dad.

I’m not the only one who does this. I’ve seen it/heard it/gotten it in a text from other people.

But back to the First World Problems.

Someone had the genius (I’m being serious, actually) idea to make a video of 100 of them. And it’s amazeballs.

Which reminds me…I’m totally writing a post full of first world problems…..

Not a poet and I know it

I have been known to dabble in poetry. You know, there was the couple of times I decided haikus were a good idea, not to mention that poetry book I had to write in high school that my sophomore English teacher looked at for eight seconds before giving me (and everyone else who completed it, whether it sucked or not) an A.

I worked hard on that thing. My mom even framed one of the poems. I just want to be appreciated for my talents.

A week or so ago I went on a tumblr rampage – meaning in looking around online I found about 20 new blogs/tumblrs to follow that are pretty much genius. One of my favorites is one called Newspaper Blackout.

On the site, they basically black out almost all of the words and make it into poetry. They take submitted pieces, which I’m contemplating. On account of my knack for poetry.

Finders’ keepers

I think I punctuated that correctly.

Anyway.

Currently, as a bookmark, I am using a Les Miserables little fact sheet that came in a book I bought from Half-Price Books. It was convenient, so I kept it.

I did not, however, put a picture of it on the Internet. But I should have!

Because there is this site – a couple sites, actually – dedicated to “found” random stuff like that.

I’ve gotten out of the habit of checking the blogs regularly, but when I do I’m happier for it.

Found Magazine is dedicated to anything that’s found. Grocery lists, notes, photos, drawings, love letters, hate letters, whatever you find and wherever you find it.

Then there’s “I Found Your Camera” which reunites people with their missing film. These people have lost their camera, but someone has developed the film and is willing to get in touch with you to get it back to you and it’s just cool.

I’ve never found anything that warrants posting on either site, but in related news, I think I’ve just found something to add to my life list.
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