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Funny story: Charles Dickens's Ghost Ate My Goldfish

Charles Dickens's Ghost Ate My Goldfish

Shock stories emerged from London, England, yesterday that the ghost of the world famous author had returned on the 200th anniversary of his birth. One spine-tingling story concerned the mysterious disappearance of young David Copperfield's pet go...
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Funny story: Toxic Seepage Poses Threat To Wildlife In Lake Erie

Toxic Seepage Poses Threat To Wildlife In Lake Erie

Reports coming in appear to suggest that a serious case of toxic seepage threatens to kill off all known marine life in Lake Erie, unless it's brought swiftly under control. The good news is that the USA appears so far to be blameless in this latest...
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Funny story: Nude Baked Bean Gobbled By Goldfish

Nude Baked Bean Gobbled By Goldfish

News is dribbling down the drainpipe that a rampant heterosexual goldfish has taken advantage of a nubile celebrity baked bean. The goldfish had invited the baked bean out for a slap-up lunch in a luxury French restaurant. However, what started o...
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Funny story: Baked Beans Finally Catch On In France

Baked Beans Finally Catch On In France

UK baked bean producers are reportedly "ecstatic" about an unprecedented surge in popularity in France and are taking steps to dramatically increase the production figures for the humble haricot in tomato sauce. In a tin. The French have a history...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Baked Bean Bonanza At Bembridge!

Isle Of Wight News - Baked Bean Bonanza At Bembridge!

News just in - There's been an astonishing twist of events just off the Bembridge shoreline as spectacularly large shoals of baked beans began amassing just yards out to sea. Crowds of local children - many wearing odd socks - who were initially l...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight Goldfish Corner Sock Futures - Markets Panic

Isle Of Wight Goldfish Corner Sock Futures - Markets Panic

Markets around the world are panicking after it emerged that a group of speculators had cornered the world's sock futures. Prices of socks dropped like a stone when the FTSE opened this morning after a late flurry of selling in eastern markets. Wa...
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Funny story: "Eat Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall", Says Goldfish

"Eat Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall", Says Goldfish

A goldfish named Harold has set in train a controversy, by telling its owner, Mimsie Flopdangler, aged seven, of Trubshaw Crescent, Yarmouth, that people should leave fish, particularly goldfish, alone, and eat Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Mimsie...
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Funny story: Monster Goldfish Thrives On Diet Of Baked Beans And Chicken Jalfrezi

Monster Goldfish Thrives On Diet Of Baked Beans And Chicken Jalfrezi

NORFOLK - UK - A monster goldfish, over two feet long and weighing in at 27lbs survives on a diet of baked beans and chicken jalfrezi curry, claims owner, Ichabod Brundle, of Beccles. The goldfish, named "Giggsy" after the record breaking Manchest...
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Funny story: Goldfish gets head stuck in hole in Justin Bieber's sock - court case imminent

Goldfish gets head stuck in hole in Justin Bieber's sock - court case imminent

It was reported that, earlier today that animal rights activists and emergency personnel were rushed to the home of 'singing sensation' Justin Bieber. Apparently, Justin was removing his socks in the manner of any teenage 'singing sensation' by fl...
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Funny story: "Eat More Goldfish!" says Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

"Eat More Goldfish!" says Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

With our native stocks of cod, haddock and plaice in decline, celebrity chefs Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver (as part of Channel 4s Fish Fight series) have been encouraging us to eat a wider variety of fish. However, the latest addition...
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Funny story: Goldfish thefts finally stopped

Goldfish thefts finally stopped

The skint, hard up and penniless are up in arms today after it was revealed that Cas4gold.con are no longer going to accept goldfish. "It turns out," said Cas Aurum, atomic weight 79, CEO of Cas4gold.con, "Goldfish are not made of gold." This a...
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Funny story: Middle East Rebellions Influence Goldfish Freedom Movement

Middle East Rebellions Influence Goldfish Freedom Movement

Popular uprisings in Middle East dictatorships have had a surprising effect closer to home. The nation's goldfish have begun to make a stand against their limited freedoms and living conditions. The pets with the notoriously short attention spa...
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Funny story: Mummified Goldfish discovered in Egyptian Pyramid

Mummified Goldfish discovered in Egyptian Pyramid

Two archeologists announced today that they have discovered 2,000 mummified goldfish whilst doing research in a pyramid in Egypt. It took them a while to figure out what the miniature mummies actually were. They used special x-ray equipment to st...
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Funny story: Goldfish lovers picket outside New Sushi Restaurant in downtown Toronto

Goldfish lovers picket outside New Sushi Restaurant in downtown Toronto

Dozens of 'goldfish lovers' picketed outside a new downtown Toronto Sushi Restaurant today carrying placards and yelling, "We want goldfish", "When do we want them?" "NOW!" Apparently the owner of the new Sushi Restaurant is sticking by...
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Funny story: New reality show coming to your TV soon: Goldfish Have Talent (GHT)

New reality show coming to your TV soon: Goldfish Have Talent (GHT)

It appears no-one can get enough of the 'goldfish'. A new reality show is, very quickly, being scripted for airing next month. The premise of the show is that contestants bring 'trained goldfish' to auditions and the panel of judges, Michael Fish...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle jumps on the bandwagon and starts collecting goldfish

Susan Boyle jumps on the bandwagon and starts collecting goldfish

Apparently Susan Boyle has heard about the 'goldfish craze' and has jumped on the bandwagon in order to 'stay in the news'. Susan has had a HUGE aquarium delivered to her new home in Blackburn, Scotland and has filled it with goldfish of varying s...
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Funny story: Goldfish Sticks Beat Chicken Wings as Hottest New Pub Food

Goldfish Sticks Beat Chicken Wings as Hottest New Pub Food

The joke: "How many goldfish does it take to make one goldfish stick?" is becoming one of the most told jokes in bars and pubs. The reason is that goldfish sticks are now the number one hottest new pub food both in the United States and Great Britain...
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Funny story: Jordan In Socks Gets Tangled Up In Deckchair Mishap Following Threats From Rabid Goldfish

Jordan In Socks Gets Tangled Up In Deckchair Mishap Following Threats From Rabid Goldfish

Just in - ambulance crews inform us here at Skoob News that some woman, claiming to be Jordan got entangled in a deckchair yesterday afternoon in Clacton, Essex, after being threatened by what appeared to be a rabid goldfish. We sent intrepid repo...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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