Obama, Breaking Bad, And Raven Symone

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Obama, Breaking Bad, And Raven Symone
Written by Josh Wolford

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today, we have a pretty random selection of Tweets. You can forgive me for not being too topical on a Friday, right? We do hit the Labor Day Topic as we as Obama’s upcoming Jobs speech. Look for a particularly good one about disciplining a teenager. Enjoy!

At my funeral, instead of a eulogy, I want everyone to watch 30 minutes looped footage of Laura Dern’s panicked running, from Jurassic Park. 11 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

A chocolate chip got stuck in the straw of my frappuccino. #FirstWorldProblems 3 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

Casual Friday + Last Workday Before Labor Day = White Bed Sheet Toga. Can’t help it if my coworkers don’t understand basic math. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

8 out of 10 Americans think we are in a recession. The other two are A-Rod and Oprah. 1 hour ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

You know what Obama should do for his jobs speech? Hire a million people to help him write it. 3 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

If you want to punish a teenager, simply take away their cellphone! And sodomize them with it. 2 hours ago via txt · powered by @socialditto

Hey dudes it’s been 5 days. You gotta let people talk about Breaking Bad. 1 hour ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

New York City — turning optimistic liberals into seething, closet racists since 1961! 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Has mankind ever fallen further short of his potential than “second verse same as the first?” 15 hours ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto

Washington is the only place where things grind to a halt when people get back from vacation. 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

“That’s so Raven” – Raven Symone’s parents identify her body. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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