Showing:

Funny satire stories about ATM

Try another search?

Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Funny story: Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Police were called out to a filling up station on the M61 near Chorley, Lancashire, yesterday as a herd of dissatisfied cows attempted to raid an ATM! The cows broke out of their paddock claiming the farmer paid them less than the minimum wage for...

Read full story View 'Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!'

New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

Funny story: New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...

Read full story View 'New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal'

Local Woman Arrested After Asking Men to Strip in Front of Her!

Funny story: Local Woman Arrested After Asking Men to Strip in Front of Her!

The police in Salt Lake City have arrested a beautiful lady that has been a bank teller there for several years. She was charged with asking several local men to strip in front of her and some of the men were married and some not. "It was very...

Read full story View 'Local Woman Arrested After Asking Men to Strip in Front of Her!'

Sperm Banks ATM Machines Not The Best Idea!

Funny story: Sperm Banks ATM Machines Not The Best Idea!

Several cities, because of the lack of donations, have placed after hours ATM Machines at their sperm banks. Now you can go to the blood plasma bank and get some cash and then you go over to the Sperm Bank ATM and who knows how many children we wi...

Read full story View 'Sperm Banks ATM Machines Not The Best Idea!'

New ATM Opens At Local Sperm Bank

After several months of construction, the staff at Little Wigglies Sperm Bank celebrated the opening of their eagerly anticipated ATM today. "It was very exciting. We had a ribbon cutting ceremony and served Red Bull and oyster snacks," gushed...

Read full story View 'New ATM Opens At Local Sperm Bank'

Bank of America Joins Forces with Astrology.web to Introduce Automatic Fortune Teller Machine

Funny story: Bank of America Joins Forces with Astrology.web to Introduce Automatic Fortune Teller Machine

Bank of America, in partnership with Astrology.web, recently announced its latest initiative: the Automatic Fortune Teller Machine, which combines modern-day financial technology with age-old astrological principles. Millions of AFTMs will become ava...

Read full story View 'Bank of America Joins Forces with Astrology.web to Introduce Automatic Fortune Teller Machine'

The Snake at the ATM Machine: First Interview

Funny story: The Snake at the ATM Machine: First Interview

The trouble began when a customer found not only cash but also a snake waiting for him at the ATM machine in Spain. Eek! All's well that ends well, though. Local authorities were called and released the snake from the machine's cash-dispensing...

Read full story View 'The Snake at the ATM Machine: First Interview'

Bank of America Fails to Make Promised Settlement Payments to Defrauded Customers; Claims to Have Forgotten Its PIN

Funny story: Bank of America Fails to Make Promised Settlement Payments to Defrauded Customers; Claims to Have Forgotten Its PIN

After thousands of plaintiffs in the class action lawsuit against Bank of America reported that they had not received any portion of the $410 million in settlement amounts owed them by BoA, BoA president and CEO Brian Moynihan abashedly explained tha...

Read full story View 'Bank of America Fails to Make Promised Settlement Payments to Defrauded Customers; Claims to Have Forgotten Its PIN'

Elderly Man Gets Pulled Into Bank's ATM Along With His Plastic Card!

Funny story: Elderly Man Gets Pulled Into Bank's ATM Along With His Plastic Card!

A 93 year old East London man was taken to hospital yesterday afternoon after he was pulled into a bank's ATM machine along with his bankers card when trying to use it to withdraw money from a hole-in-the-wall cash dispenser machine outside a bank in...

Read full story View 'Elderly Man Gets Pulled Into Bank's ATM Along With His Plastic Card!'

Manchester Mole Thieves - most underpaid thieves in Britain?

Funny story: Manchester Mole Thieves - most underpaid thieves in Britain?

Police are investigating the daring raid of an ATM, completely emptying it. The thieves, dubbed the Manchester Moles, dug a five hundred foot tunnel from an embankment to the shopping centre ATM; working only between midnight and five in the morning...

Read full story View 'Manchester Mole Thieves - most underpaid thieves in Britain?'

A return to the dark ages as Supermarkets are only able to take cash!

Funny story: A return to the dark ages as Supermarkets are only able to take cash!

100s of Supermarkets, Britain: Across the length and breadth of Britain, thousands of shoppers were unable to buy food today in what could be a sign of things to come. Investigations are ongoing, with Store Manager realising it was causing "great...

Read full story View 'A return to the dark ages as Supermarkets are only able to take cash!'

Man Opens ATM with Can Opener, Steals ATM, Leaves Cash

A Wisconsin man opened up a local bank's ATM with a can opener, pulled out the cash and put it on the ground and then rode away with the ATM on the back of his pickup truck. "I was shocked when I saw it on the security video", said the bank manage...

Read full story View 'Man Opens ATM with Can Opener, Steals ATM, Leaves Cash'

Drama at funeral of inventor of the ATM

Earlier this week, it was reported that John Shepherd-Barron, the inventor of the Automatic Telling Machine (ATM), had died. His funeral was held yesterday, and he had chosen to be cremated. However, the ceremony did not go smoothly. The min...

Read full story View 'Drama at funeral of inventor of the ATM'

Down on your Knees if you want your money

Funny story: Down on your Knees if you want your money

Basketball players have complained about a cash machine in the HSBC in Whitchurch, Hants which is only 18 inches off the ground. After a local basketball match some players average height 6 feet 8 inches who were out on the town decided to go to the...

Read full story View 'Down on your Knees if you want your money'

Gangsta ATMs in South Central

Funny story: Gangsta ATMs in South Central

Los Angeles, Ca, UEssay A trial program of placing specialty Automatic Teller Machines (ATMs) designed for specific neighborhoods began in South Central Los Angeles this week. The modifications were inspired by a similar program in Great Britain whi...

Read full story View 'Gangsta ATMs in South Central'

Cash Machines Increasingly Used by Criminals

Funny story: Cash Machines Increasingly Used by Criminals

Figures released today show that criminal gangs are using Cash Machines all over the UK. Innocent members of the public are being tricked into giving over their hard earned money to these criminals, and then these same criminals are using cash m...

Read full story View 'Cash Machines Increasingly Used by Criminals'

Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds

Funny story: Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds

More problems arose today for the nation's beleaguered banks when it was revealed that all of their Automated-Teller Machines are not actually sorry that you have insufficient funds. The shocking revelation was outlined in a report released by the FS...

Read full story View 'Report: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds'

ATM Sparks Massive Queues

Funny story: ATM Sparks Massive Queues

A Cash Machine in Stretford, Manchester, today made residents of Stretford with a cash card quite rich. The ordinary looking ATM started handing out fifty times the amount requested due to a software glitch that many IT experts believe the ATM cam...

Read full story View 'ATM Sparks Massive Queues'

Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
Increase speedPlayback speedIncrease speed Help
Skip backwardsPausePlaySkip forward
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
57 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more
http://www.thespoof.com/search.cfm?tag=ATM
www.thespoof.com
crawl=CC-MAIN-2018-26
43646
application/http; msgtype=response
sha1:RWOLFASQHQG6BNDFEDFOTKLKTTSYHGE4
<urn:uuid:d08388bc-f7b2-4b4f-8c4d-98e8522779be>
2018-06-23T06:43:17Z
185.24.73.192
text/html
sha1:4K7B665YHKJ4O3PLPNPQPJATORGSXVAW
<urn:uuid:7ea51d96-d1d7-4552-9720-acf6ea8943ed>
http://www.thespoof.com/search.cfm?tag=ATM
response
<urn:uuid:a1e55593-2a61-4fe6-bea5-fa24088aa0fc>
robots: classic
hostname: ip-10-169-43-15.ec2.internal
software: Nutch 1.6 (CC)
isPartOf: CC-MAIN-2018-26
operator: Common Crawl Admin
description: Wide crawl of the web for June 2018
publisher: Common Crawl
format: WARC File Format 1.0
conformsTo: http://bibnum.bnf.fr/WARC/WARC_ISO_28500_version1_latestdraft.pdf