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(Slate)   What 20,000 pages of inappropriate emails might look like. Pffft, amateur   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, hairline  
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11358 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2012 at 9:34 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-11-14 09:36:03 AM  
Someone needs to hand that guy a razor and a Kohl's gift card for a new wardrobe.
 
2012-11-14 09:37:26 AM  
Man, Petraeus and his mistress sure were busy
 
2012-11-14 09:37:47 AM  
That's a lot of farking emails.
 
2012-11-14 09:37:50 AM  
Each and every one of those 20,000 emails was exactly one page long.
 
2012-11-14 09:38:03 AM  
That was the most informative article I've read all week.
 
2012-11-14 09:39:16 AM  
You know how get 20000 pages of email? You keep replaying back and forth 100 times or so without deleting the original messages and have some page long "this email is intended for the addressed audience only" disclaimer appear every time you hit send.

This is the most STUPID not story of the past 3 days.
 
2012-11-14 09:39:25 AM  
I wonder if their definition of one page includes this. ":-p"

I know it is highly inappropriate and I hope to be disciplined. ":-o"

If they were two separate e-mails, that would be 2 pages.

There is a reason why they are called "e" mail.
 
2012-11-14 09:40:23 AM  

SevenizGud: Each and every one of those 20,000 emails was exactly one page long.


It looks like this is right on the money! From TFA:

U.S. Gen. John Allen reportedly sent 20,000 to 30,000 pages
 
2012-11-14 09:40:34 AM  
So is this like Goodell's mounds of evidence against the Saints? You know... nonexistent?

/girl editor is cute
 
2012-11-14 09:40:54 AM  
What I'm imagining the FBI is reading...

From: Jill Kelley tampaho at aol.com
To: Gen John Allen chestyrulz at gmail.com
Date: Wednesday, October 9, 2010 02:12 AM
Subject: FWD FWD FWD this is funny!

>From: The Funny Pages Administrator
>To: Funny Pages Mailing List
>Date: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 8:10 PM
>Subject: Clean: 8 worst convenience foods

THE 8 WORST CONVENIENCE FOODS

8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which
is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well,
harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits
(as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up
to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best
thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on
the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The
second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in
the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases
covered.
 
2012-11-14 09:41:46 AM  
they probably have long signature lines

This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager. This message contains confidential information and is intended only for the individual named. If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.

WARNING: Computer viruses can be transmitted via email. The recipient should check this email and any attachments for the presence of viruses. The company accepts no liability for any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email. E-mail transmission cannot be guaranteed to be secure or error-free as information could be intercepted, corrupted, lost, destroyed, arrive late or incomplete, or contain viruses. The sender therefore does not accept liability for any errors or omissions in the contents of this message, which arise as a result of e-mail transmission.

WARNING: Although the company has taken reasonable precautions to ensure no viruses are present in this email, the company cannot accept responsibility for any loss or damage arising from the use of this email or attachments.

Our company accepts no liability for the content of this email, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided, unless that information is subsequently confirmed in writing. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.

Any views or opinions presented in this email are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company. Employees of the company are expressly required not to make defamatory statements and not to infringe or authorize any infringement of copyright or any other legal right by email communications. Any such communication is contrary to company policy and outside the scope of the employment of the individual concerned. The company will not accept any liability in respect of such communication, and the employee responsible will be personally liable for any damages or other liability arising.
 
2012-11-14 09:41:59 AM  
That's a lot of pussy chasing right there.
 
2012-11-14 09:42:10 AM  
I'm sure every two-sentence email was printed off and counted as "one page" and every unsalacious email she was cc'd on was included (complete with the ungodly four-page cc line).

/sensational news has to be sensational.
 
2012-11-14 09:43:40 AM  

ideamaster: I wonder if their definition of one page includes this. ":-p"

I know it is highly inappropriate and I hope to be disciplined. ":-o"

If they were two separate e-mails, that would be 2 pages.

There is a reason why they are called "e" mail.


Do not confuse or antagonize the straight arrows at the FBI. They will fark you hard.
 
2012-11-14 09:44:20 AM  
So, we aren't getting the 40hrs a week they said they were putting in?

I am shocked
 
2012-11-14 09:46:58 AM  
They should have photoshopped a long penis on that stack of paper.

Then it would have looked like 20,000 pages of inappropriate emails.
At least that's what my probation officer tells me.
 
2012-11-14 09:49:09 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: ideamaster: I wonder if their definition of one page includes this. ":-p"

I know it is highly inappropriate and I hope to be disciplined. ":-o"

If they were two separate e-mails, that would be 2 pages.

There is a reason why they are called "e" mail.

Do not confuse or antagonize the straight arrows at the FBI. They will fark you hard.


so that's what the shirtless stalking was all about!
 
2012-11-14 09:50:32 AM  
I'm still disappointed that Jill Kelly isn't who I thought she was. I'm sure that the majority of the emails went something like this:

Hey, how come you look different on video than you do in person?
 
2012-11-14 09:51:21 AM  
Sure, if you're an idiot who prints email.

Also, what an unfortunate-looking couple.
 
2012-11-14 09:51:25 AM  
Headers, Miles of CCs, Forwards, Funny pictures and documents all MIME encoded.

Don't you know how old these people are?
 
2012-11-14 09:52:21 AM  
Lookout, lady! There's a giant dweeb hiding behind all that kindling!
 
2012-11-14 09:52:39 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Do not confuse or antagonize the straight arrows at the FBI. They will fark you hard.


The only 3 letter agency I am afraid of is the IRS. The rest will lock you up and give you a happy place... or simply have you killed. The IRS will take away everything you own in an instant and make you live in misery for an unspecified length of time.
 
2012-11-14 09:53:28 AM  
I think that this comes out to 30 or so emails per day. Even if they are "what are you thinking about, sweetie?" or just a picture of someones junk, that's a frakload of emails.
 
2012-11-14 09:54:13 AM  
That "article" gave me cancer.
 
2012-11-14 09:54:18 AM  
Does Slate not have heat in their building? What is with the scarves and jackets?

/Quit messing with the thermostat
 
2012-11-14 09:55:27 AM  
The cool people in this thread seem to be defending 20,000 sent pages between two adults. I hope I'm not too late for the derp:

I totally, like, send that many emails to my gurlfiend (lolz) because I'm a needy 13 year old! XD
 
2012-11-14 09:58:21 AM  
Forget the 20,000 pages... what about the editor

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-11-14 09:58:35 AM  
Like this
ecx.images-amazon.com

//morons
//government morons
 
2012-11-14 10:02:48 AM  
36-24-36? Only if she's 5'3"
 
2012-11-14 10:10:23 AM  
Any bets the FBI guestimated these numbers the same way local law enforcement guestimates the street value of drug busts, or the way AT&T guestimates your data usage. It was probably only 20 or 30 pages of emails.
 
2012-11-14 10:15:43 AM  

SandmanEatsYourBrain: Any bets the FBI guestimated these numbers the same way local law enforcement guestimates the street value of drug busts, or the way AT&T guestimates your data usage. It was probably only 20 or 30 pages of emails.


No, I'll say there are 20-30 thousand, but I'll bet 99.5% of them were e-mails sent in error because somehow, she wound up BCC'd on all his correspondence, and he didn't realize, and she didn't tell him, because she was getting juicy gossip. And I'll even go so far as to say the "inappropriate" stuff wasn't even sexual, but stuff that was "restricted release".
 
2012-11-14 10:16:23 AM  
I doubt I've sent 20,000 emails in my entire life.
 
2012-11-14 10:17:37 AM  
Main takeaway? Katie is cute. And single.
 
2012-11-14 10:20:19 AM  

moothemagiccow: Like this
[ecx.images-amazon.com image 160x160]

//morons
//government morons



Nah, you and your pendrive are teh morons. Look.

www.legitreviews.com
 
2012-11-14 10:20:29 AM  
Oh those wacky Slate staffers, let's peek in and see what they're up to today. Something wacky I suspect!
 
2012-11-14 10:21:31 AM  
How many other dumb farkers the same age range are gonna get nailed for various things said on emails that should not have been said if they had been, like, READING THE FARKING NEWS?

You should have figured out the whole "emails are permanent" thing well before Wikileaks. And if Wikileaks wasn't the farking lights and sirens for you to wake up and pull yer head in, then.... the mind boggles how stupid they were.
 
2012-11-14 10:24:32 AM  
Have those emails been scanned for BIE and DIE?
 
2012-11-14 10:25:10 AM  

Big Ramifications: How many other dumb farkers the same age range are gonna get nailed for various things said on emails that should not have been said if they had been, like, READING THE FARKING NEWS?

You should have figured out the whole "emails are permanent" thing well before Wikileaks. And if Wikileaks wasn't the farking lights and sirens for you to wake up and pull yer head in, then.... the mind boggles how stupid they were.


*ahem* Can't remember the exact Wikileaks dates and never did think to check the date range of these emails. Put my Wikileaks rant on hold.
 
2012-11-14 10:25:21 AM  
I'm so sick of this being "news". All I'm learning is that even our higher ups #JustWannaHaveFun, and we're all the pigs with lipstick on. From another fecking article: "America is embarrassed on the world stage".

Don't we have a few wars to be ending?
 
2012-11-14 10:27:00 AM  
Probably a whole lot of this.

8==================================================================== = ====================================================================== ==============================D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ():

going on.
 
2012-11-14 10:28:16 AM  

traylor: moothemagiccow: Like this
[ecx.images-amazon.com image 160x160]

//morons
//government morons


Nah, you and your pendrive are teh morons. Look.


I was gonna but sd slots are not ubiquitous
 
2012-11-14 10:29:51 AM  

naturalbornposer: I'm so sick of this being "news". All I'm learning is that even our higher ups #JustWannaHaveFun, and we're all the pigs with lipstick on. From another fecking article: "America is embarrassed on the world stage".

Don't we have a few wars to be ending?


Do you remember something meaningful in the news recently? People eat this shiat up- gossip, betrayal and farking
 
2012-11-14 10:31:31 AM  

SandmanEatsYourBrain: Any bets the FBI guestimated these numbers the same way local law enforcement guestimates the street value of drug busts, or the way AT&T guestimates your data usage. It was probably only 20 or 30 pages of emails.


Estimate. It's spelled estimate
 
2012-11-14 10:31:43 AM  
I hate to be pedantic, but that is what 20,000 pieces of unprinted paper looks like. If there were text on all of those pages, the stack would be significantly taller. I just printed 6,770 letters the other day, and the printed letters took up the same amount of space as 20 reams of unprinted paper (10,000 pages).

/just sayin'
 
2012-11-14 10:32:59 AM  
See? Even the head of the CIA wants to get BIE.
 
2012-11-14 10:35:49 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I hate to be pedantic, but that is what 20,000 pieces of unprinted paper looks like. If there were text on all of those pages, the stack would be significantly taller. I just printed 6,770 letters the other day, and the printed letters took up the same amount of space as 20 reams of unprinted paper (10,000 pages).

/just sayin'


I find it hard to believe that ink takes up that much space. Maybe it's the shuffling the pages around, then stacking them back that makes them not so packed.
 
2012-11-14 10:36:12 AM  

moothemagiccow: naturalbornposer: I'm so sick of this being "news". All I'm learning is that even our higher ups #JustWannaHaveFun, and we're all the pigs with lipstick on. From another fecking article: "America is embarrassed on the world stage".

Don't we have a few wars to be ending?

Do you remember something meaningful in the news recently? People eat this shiat up- gossip, betrayal and farking


This is what Science meant when she said our species is getting dumber because it makes it easier for us to survive.
 
2012-11-14 10:37:46 AM  

SandmanEatsYourBrain: Any bets the FBI guestimated these numbers the same way local law enforcement guestimates the street value of drug busts, or the way AT&T guestimates your data usage. It was probably only 20 or 30 pages of emails.


I bet it was like a couple of hundred emails (not an excessive amount over the period) but some of them had long attachments, which were counted. Remember, he helped testify for her sister in a court case, and some of those legal documents can be massive. Just a thought.

The content of the emails is what will make or break the general, not the number.
 
2012-11-14 10:39:22 AM  
20,000 to 30,000 pages? Sounds like Barney Frank's business is picking up!
 
2012-11-14 10:41:02 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: See? Even the head of the CIA wants to get BIE.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Follow the rules...
 
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