display | more...

Section Two of Prof. baffo's Advice on Choosing Usernames

Integrating an Animal

While some users select outrageous names, others have opted to follow the route of using an animal in their name. And while wolf, cow, and cat are popular, potent animals, often, one will choose a meek animal - such as the lowly hamster - to base their username on.

Today we shall analyze three such users. Nothing is known about the personal lives or sexual habits of these users; all inference is drawn directly from the name.

hamster bong
For those of you not into drug culture, a bong is paraphernalia whose purpose is the ingestion of various illicit substances. The separation of the two words in the username leads one to envision a bong of Lilliputian proportions. Perhaps the user only partakes casually of these substances, and the size of the bong represents frequency of use. Or, just maybe, she heard this phrase once, and just couldn't get it out of her mind, and now we are stuck with it too....
hamstergirl
See how the reduction to one word brings to mind the vision of a small, but femininely cute rodent? Had this been two words, you would have imagined an old maid, living in a decrepit house filled with hundreds of hamsters, while the sounds of I Think I Love You drift in the breeze. The mind recoils at such a thought....
HamsterMan
Note the clever use of StudlyCaps here, which brings to mind one of two images:
  1. A superhero, who is either a lycanthropic hamster, or can commune with hamsters, or
  2. an animal fetishist

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.
https://m.everything2.com/title/hamster+bong%252C+hamstergirl%252C+HamsterMan
m.everything2.com
crawl=CC-MAIN-2020-34
21481
application/http; msgtype=response
sha1:ESKC66I73EZAEJWUFOECQTHWVMNMBMAI
<urn:uuid:46753609-c809-4126-8058-0219b9ef7da1>
2020-08-06T22:40:01Z
35.165.66.52
text/html
sha1:5YPVJRPVA76G63O3YKDXUT67M2GGX6RK
<urn:uuid:9f750db5-cec3-44d3-accc-8b8e4fa3cb91>
https://m.everything2.com/title/hamster+bong%252C+hamstergirl%252C+HamsterMan
response
<urn:uuid:cd8b81a5-ab61-480d-ab5a-2d9cc3fcf84b>
isPartOf: CC-MAIN-2020-34
publisher: Common Crawl
description: Wide crawl of the web for August 2020
operator: Common Crawl Admin (info@commoncrawl.org)
hostname: ip-10-67-67-226.ec2.internal
software: Apache Nutch 1.17 (modified, https://github.com/commoncrawl/nutch/)
robots: checked via crawler-commons 1.2-SNAPSHOT (https://github.com/crawler-commons/crawler-commons)
format: WARC File Format 1.1
conformsTo: http://iipc.github.io/warc-specifications/specifications/warc-format/warc-1.1/