Hey gang. I'm sure you saw Gawker's banned list when it was passed around. It's a great start, but it only scratches the surface. (For example, "ginormous" is offered as an alternative to "massive"!) I know we can do better, so here's the new banned list for all discourse from here on out.

Bloggers:

Please avoid posts that start "I have a confession to make," "I'm the type of person who," or "As a busy mom." Also, please don't transition with "and that's when I realized." No more realizing.

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Texters:

Let's leave off "can't wait" and particularly "yay can't wait." Feels insincere.

E-mailers:

"Reaching out," "touching base," and "getting on the same page" are no longer to appear in e-mails to me.

Starters of sentences:

Please resist prefaces like "I definitely think," "I just think," "I honestly think," or "I have to say." Just get to the thought. We can't wait. "The reality is" will no longer be tolerated. Use "In reality" or "Realistically" if you must. "I feel like" and "For me" are also banned. Also, anyone who starts a sentence with "so," as in, "So these are our craft cocktails..." will be swiftly terminated.

People talking within earshot of me:

Please forego the use of "I'm super-obsessed with" and "I like the idea of." "I'm so not a fan of" is also outlawed. Being super-obsessed with, liking the idea of, and being so not a fan of are for BuzzFeed writers.

What do you think?
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