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The Biblioracle: Stop and smell the proses

If you are of a certain age and grew up in Chicago, there are three indelible figures of the local commercial pantheon: the Empire Carpet man, Earl Scheib and Evelyn Wood.

I remember Empire Carpet's phone number ("5-8-8-2-300-Empirrrre!"), but not the one for the house I grew up in. The Internet tells me that Earl Scheib stopped repainting "any car, any color" for a price ending in "95" in 2010. Evelyn Wood's commercials weren't quite so catchy, but boy, what they promised sure was fascinating to me.


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Speed reading.

The ads featured Steve Allen at an apparent career low point interviewing people who had benefited from the Evelyn Wood dynamic reading system, usually by improving their grades through improved comprehension. The last 20 or so seconds of the ad displayed a series of opportunities at different locations around Chicagoland to try the Evelyn Wood method for free.

As a book nerd practically from birth, I thought being able to read faster seemed like some kind of superpower, and it's possible that I begged my mom to take me to one of the sessions. I don't think it's actually child abuse that I never did get to experience the Evelyn Wood method for myself, but let the record show that I remember this particular transgression against my childhood enthusiasms.

Fast forward to 2014, and I don't need to trek out to a suburban hotel ballroom to experience something similar to the Evelyn Wood method because I can download speed reading apps to my iPhone.

According to what looks to be a test of dubious validity, sponsored by Staples, of all entities, the average adult reads 300 words per minute. The same study says "college professors" (for which I suppose I qualify) clock in at 680. Maybe I think the study is dubious because in the test, I scored 320, though in my defense, while I was taking the test, the words "Am I reading fast enough?" kept repeating in my mind, which proved to be something of a distraction.

Unfortunately, the score was validated in my work with the Accelerated Speed Reading Trainer, the top-rated, free speed reading app available through Apple. Reading a passage on something to do with nomadic tribes of Asia Minor during the Copper Age, I scored 275 words per minute, but part of that is because the passage was so boring I kept backtracking to re-engage my attention.

The "training" for the app involves staring at the middle of the phone screen while words flash by in something called Rapid Serial Visual Presentation (R.S.V.P), which is supposed to train your brain to read "faster."

Discouraged, I decided to pick up my current reading, Part 1 of 6 of Karl Ove Knausgaard's autobiographical novel, "My Struggle." Knausgaard has emerged as a contemporary cult figure thanks to word of mouth among the creative writing class. "My Struggle" has been widely described as "Proustian" for its attention to detail and what seems to be minutia. I was skeptical of its charms, but it quickly absorbed me. After my speed reading failures, I tried to pump up the pace in "My Struggle," but I soon realized I wasn't connecting to the text.

I believe this is because the best writing trains you to read it at the proper pace. Knausgaard may take 50 words to describe taking off a coat and snow boots when coming inside. Reading it too quickly renders it boring. The fact of knocking the snow from your boots isn't noteworthy. But in the particulars of Knausgaard's language and descriptions, it's mesmerizing.

Evelyn Wood wants me to comprehend, but Knausgaard reminds me that experiencing is the greater pleasure.

Biblioracle John Warner is the author of "The Funny Man." Follow him on Twitter @Biblioracle.

The Biblioracle offers his recommendations

1. "& Sons" by David Gilbert

2. "Longbourn" by Jo Baker

3. "Tenth of December" by George Saunders

4. "Quiet Dell" by Jayne Anne Phillips

5. "Schroder" by Amity Gaige

— Kathy B., Chicago

Looking at Kathy's list, I think she'll fall for one of my favorite authors, Ron Carlson, specifically his novel, "Five Skies."

1. "The Spoiler" by Annalena McAfee

2. "Hollow City" by Ransom Riggs

3. "Andrew's Brain" by E.L. Doctorow

4. "Another Insane Devotion" by Peter Trachtenberg

5. "Robert Oppenheimer: A Life Inside the Center" by Ray Monk

— Tim S., – Chicago, IL

My default is to reach for fiction, but in Tim's case, I'm going with nonfiction that carries all the drama of fiction, Sheri Fink's "Five Days at Memorial,"which tells the story of what happened in a hospital overwhelmed by Hurricane Katrina.

1. "The Invention of Wings" by Sue Monk Kidd

2. "The Good Lord Bird" by James McBride

3. "The Supreme Macaroni Company" by Adriana Trigiani

4. "The Signature of All Things" by Elizabeth Gilbert

5. "The Lowland" by Jhumpa Lahiri

— Lisa A., – Naperville, IL

It looks to me like Lisa is after a solid, emotionally moving book where she can get involved in the characters and get invested in the journey. My sensors are saying that "The Light Between Oceans" by M.L. Steadman fills that bill.

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