Yes, I can spare a square

seinfeldspareasquareb1Apparently the re-post(FB) I made about bathrooms was so offensive to a person that she felt the need to slam my inbox with multiple messages and threaten me in several ways, including boycotting my books, because she claims I am a pedophile supporter (HER words). I guess I have to clarify my position if I want to get any work done today.

1. If you don’t like what I post, then stop reading and delete yourself from my personal page. Pretty simple. If you want to complain, put it on my fan page, where you may or may not be filtered.
2. I don’t care who is sitting in the bathroom stall beside me.
3. I don’t know what bathroom stalls you people use, but any stall I’ve ever used in a public place pretty much kept me from seeing the genitals of the person in the stall next to me. I mean, if I squinted real hard and looked through the crack in the corner, I could probably see a flash of skin, but I can’t recall ever routinely witnessing anyone waving a penis around like a banner when I happened to accidentally glance in that quarter inch gap in the door.
4. If someone is waving a penis around in the women’s restroom or made a move to assault me (if I’m there with my daughter or not), then I know I have every right to call the police. Just like I would if it happened in a dark alley or broad daylight. Do I think that sort of behavior is done by a specific group of people? YES, sexual predators. Are all priests sexual predators? No. Are all black people criminals? No. Are all gay people fashion savvy? No. Are all cops racist? No. Are all rednecks gun-toting vigilantes? No. Are all transgender people pedophiles? NO. I judge people as individuals, not as the sum of a label of which they have no control.
5. It’s none of my business what equipment is between the legs of another person. I have personal opinions about the subject, but this isn’t about what I believe or don’t believe about the mechanics/dna/physical state/psychological state/morality/or religious interpretation of transgendered citizens. My bottom line is that I believe in live and let live.  If man, you feel like a woman, sing it loud & proud, be happy, & live a good life. That’s the same thing I wish for anyone, so interpret that however you will.

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6. I feel fortunate to live in a country where so many people spend time complaining about who is peeing in the stall next to them. I’ve been to other countries where my only option was to pee in a hole in the ground with a toilet seat on it, while in a row of ten with NO toilet paper….and the chick next to me offered me some of her leaves.
Was she transgendered? I have no clue. I smiled and took the leaf she offered and I didn’t think to look between her legs.

Seriously, people. Spare a square.

 

7 Tips for discoverability that you might be missing

“All authors need a website.”

“All authors need a mailing list.”

“Authors need a Facebook account (or Twitter or whatever!)”

Sure, all of the above is good advice, but are you utilizing those tools in the most effective way? I really think many authors miss the boat with websites, mailing lists, & social media accounts.  The purpose of spending all that time online is to ultimately sell books. Yet I can’t count how many times I’ve went looking for more info on an author or wanted to sign up for a mailing list, and I simply could not find it. If I’ve had to click more than four or five times, you’ve already lost me….I’m moving on to another author who makes it easy for me to find what I’m looking for.

Discoverability means making it easy for readers to find out about you & your work.

1. Make sure your mailing list landing page states WHO you are (a blank landing page with just boxes to fill out makes the reader wonder if they’re in the right place and less likely to sign up) Check out my mailing list sign up HERE
2. Put your mailing list link (CLICKABLE) in the back matter of all your books in your “About the Author” section. If you have a list of books to your name, you can also add your mailing list link to the end of your book list.
3. Put your mailing list link in your Author Central profile, along with links to your social media sites. AC is one of the first places readers will look to find out more about you, so make sure you pack it with everything a reader might be looking for. See example HERE: AUTHOR CENTRAL PROFILE.
4. Put your mailing list link in the “About” section on your Facebook Fan Page, if you have one. SEE EXAMPLE HERE: FACEBOOK
5. Put your mailing list link in a prominent spot on your website. Look in the upper right hand corner HERE, and it is also a pull down on the main menu (VIP List).
6. On your website, make sure readers don’t need to look too hard for what they want. The less clicks, the better. Make sure a list of your book and vendors you sell them on is easily accessible via the first page or directly on the menu bar.
7. On your website, make every book cover image CLICKABLE with either a direct link to Amazon, or redirect link to your page where all your book vendors are listed. When you click on BUY BOOKS on my webpage, you’ll see each vendor listed as a clickable image; in addition, I link all the covers direct to Amazon.

Make it easy for fans to find you by maximizing the effect of your online presence. Part of being an indie author is not only having an online presence, but utilizing it in the most effective way.

Now, go fix your website and your Author Central profile. And for Pete’s sake, please add something to your blank mailing list sign up form!

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About mailing lists & stuff

I would like to take a few minutes to go over mailing list compliance tips and how mailing lists are valuable resources to authors. I’ve received questions asking why I do not provide a total list of all the readers who sign up for my giveaways so that all the authors can put them on their mailings lists. The straight answer is that I can’t do that because of things like the CAN-SPAM Act found HERE.
Readers need to opt-in to your list. If you are adding emails manually to your list, you are dancing with trouble.

Many of you have been around long enough to know how to manage your email list without getting into hot water. We also have a great bunch of new authors who may not be up to speed on how it all works and how your mailing list is a powerful tool for your career. This post is aimed at those who are just starting out so that (hopefully) you can build a quality list without having to experience the stumbling blocks lots of us have already been through.

Ideally, you want your list to be full of readers eager to read your next book. The best way to encourage sign ups organically is to put a link to your mailing list in the back matter of your books, include it on your website and all your social media accounts. Make it super easy for readers to find. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to find a list sign up for an author and simply gave up because it was just not accessible. Check out my website, and you will see that my mailing list sign up is in the upper right hand corner along with my ARC sign up; it is also listed in the menu bar for even easier access. (See HERE for example.) On my FB Fan Page, I use the “sign up” button which is right at the top of the page. (See MY FB PAGE HERE for example.) The point is that you need to make is super easy for readers to find information; the more clicks a reader has to make, the more likely the reader is to give up. **As an aside, that goes for links to buying your books on your website as well. Make your book covers clickable straight to Amazon, or make a landing page with all your retailers. (example: EB Brown landing page)**

Back to lists. As I said above, readers need to opt-in to your list. This means they need to sign up voluntariliy. If you are purchasing mailing lists or manually adding to your lists, you can end up in big trouble with your mailing list service, including having your account shut down until you can PROVE that all those people opted-in to your list. Can you see where I’m going with this? If you’ve manually imported emails to your list, how exactly will you prove they signed up? You can’t. That’s why all the major list services provide opt-in confirmation prompts.

So you’re new and you want your mailing list to be huge RIGHT NOW. Well, I say hold your horses. This is one of those things where it is not the just quantity that counts – quality of your list should be an equal consideration. Your list ideally will be filled with people who want your books. Signs of a good performing list are many: high open & click rates, minimal unsubscribes, and no spam reports. Many successful authors go through and prune non-performing emails in their lists on a regular basis. You really do not want people to sign up if they aren’t interested in your books. That leads to unsubs and spam reports, and it’s a big waste of your time. Cultivate your list carefully and soon you will be able to estimate how many books you can sell on a release day, or how many readers will share your posts, or how many on your ARC list will write a review. When you know your readers, you can start to plan your career rather than throw everything out and hope something sticks.

So how does the mailing list promotion come into play? Well, I started doing mailing list promotions because I participated in one that was successful. It was full of authors I knew were popular in my genre, who I knew had fabulous fan bases. I ended up with new list members (who stuck around!) and ended up selling books and moving lots of copies of my freebie. What confirmed to me that it worked was the sell-through — I not only moved a bunch of freebies, but the rest of the books in that series sold as well. I took note of the way the promo was managed and I made a few changes, and that’s how I came up with the method I use. It’s actually funny that I ended up doing this, because I’m not a fan of inorganic methods of attracting sign-ups.

I hope that all makes sense. Any questions, ask away.

A few other links to check out:
10 Email marketing spam laws you need to know

Examples of compliant & non-compliant lists

Guidelines for List Compliance
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