Uncyclopedia:Templates/Maintenance/Mainpage

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*...that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks? Main page factoid box.
Featuredarticle
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Today's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate

Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article -

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Windows XP is renowned for its stability and reliability.
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Ares | Jeremy Corbyn | SQL | Coca-Cola Classic | Sex change | FEMA | Bristol International Balloon Fiesta‎‎ | Ponytail | Atonality | Hercules | The Angry Video Game Nerd | Timur the Lame | Wasp | Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher | Colloquialism | Suit | Boeing 737 | Teleology | Sergei Eisenstein | Interstellar (movie) | Bee | Comcast | Green Party (UK) | Lily Savage | Microsoft PowerPoint | Warranty | Unicode | Hillsdale College | Frank Miller | United Kingdom general election, 2015 | Sault Ste. Marie | Metadata


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Haduken - Ironman Ivan Stewarts Super Off Road - Mecha Rumsfeld - Fratelli Gang - One Eyed Willie - Cohagen - Fusor - Johnny Cab - Kobra Kai Dojo - Douglas Quaid - MalEEEna - Adiabat - Saetia - BennEEE - Pink Tubing - LorEEE - Onion Head Hat - multiplying assholes disease - dual penis syndrome - Teleolethargic Psychosis - Stoat - Chode - Choad - Ellipse -

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MonthlyAwards
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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,176 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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Sauron is Lord of the Dance.

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the free encyclopedia of politically incorrect non-information.

Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's sort of like Congress or Parliament. Unlike Congress or Parliament, however, we do have a sense of humor. Nonetheless, this one of the only factual pages, before everything turns into a puddle of utter confusion and disarray. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like disarray, but stop adding confusion to this page to spite the disclaimer.

Uncyclopedia is a Wiki, and it allows you to contribute articles of your own. Before writing for Uncyclopedia, please read the How To page to learn how to properly format text in an article. Please also read the funny guidelines. If you are interested in flaming and trolling here at Uncyclopedia, please read the rules of battle first. Flamewars are encouraged as long as they follow the rules.

Finally, if an article offends you, resist your urge to mess it up. CLOSE YOUR BROWSER WINDOW. IT WILL AUTOMAGICALLY DISAPPEAR WITH THREE MOUSE CLICKS FEWER.

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  • ...anything?
  • ...how to ngising and ngloco?
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  • ...that cheese be cool, yah?
Simple: factoid box.
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Bringing Oscar Wilde quotes to every page in Uncyclopedia.

Our five-day mission: to explore strange new articles
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Start an Uncyclopedia in a new language

Note: {{MonthlyAwards}} is currently not closing properly and mess up the table, so it has been removed from the list. Please re-add: {{tplist|MonthlyAwards|1||2||3||c=Displays the current featured writer}} between the topics and sisterprojects/lanugages templates when it is fixed.

This day in history/anniversary templates

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Inserts title+events for one specified day's date inline. Used on pages for individual months.
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January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December

Please browse to find an anniversary, then give it a damn good editing.
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