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Cluster Calls

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Clustercall

A typical cluster call.

Ghost: "We've got area code.. 313!, 817!, 347!, 226..."


Cluster Calls (otherwise known as Cluster Fucks or an "endless void"), are calls on True Capitalist Radio that have multiple participants, usually randomly chosen by Ghost. Usually these calls have a mix of Newfags and experienced trolls. Cluster Calls are almost always loud, unless most of the numbers put on the air are silent.

This rare segment used to serve as a sort of counter-trolling technique during particularly bad sessions of Radio Graffiti. It allows a frustrated Ghost to blow off steam while simultaneously purging dozens of callers from his show's queue. However, in later months Ghost just did them when he was bored and the show was staggering.

Even the most experienced and cunning callers will generally sound like ill-prepared jerkdicks when they're unwittingly out-competing each other rather than confronting Ghost directly. Ghost may react to splices, songs, individual voices, and remixes of him - commenting in irritation if the caller tries to ear-rape everyone with it.

Ghost often speaks over the cluster calls with phrases such as "I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts", "Suck mah dick!", "Aperture Science", or just random goat noises. After Ghost has had enough fun berating the callers, Ghost asks the Engineer to kick them all out. Sometimes he will initiate more of them with a different set of numbers - to the possible extreme that he will go down the list to get everyone off the phone lines. As Cluster Calls serve to graphically illustrate the number of people who call the show just to irritate him, Ghost will often remark about how what his listeners just heard represents the state of America.

The best example of these calls occurred on September 19th 2011, where Ghost took nearly a hundred calls in a fifteen minute time-span, to calm down after getting annoyed at callers throughout the show. Another large one occurred on February 20th, when Ghost's microphone was failing, and finally gave in, putting multiple callers on for the rest of the show, until the feed gave out. Ghost eventually stopped responding to callers, apparently giving up and leaving the show to the listeners.

Since The Return, only four Cluster Calls have occurred on the show again, two in succession during Episode 261 on May 9th in the third hour's Radio Graffiti. The first one quickly filled with a variety of audio clips, a Daniel Bryan Splice and a soundboard, amidst a background of Ghost making Goat and cow noises, and the second featured a mass of kids screaming. During Episode 337, due to a bunch of shitty failtrolls clogging the lines, leading to one of the worst episodes of TCR since April. The latest one was on Episode 425, after Ghost was fed up of having Order calls, he had a cluster call which included Beavis & Butthead ordering food and mocking Ghost and a ton of Order calls causing Ghost to be more irate.

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