 
xenologer: (Ravenna)
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For a long time I assumed I was a Gryffindor because I went and did things rather than sort of... just passively accepting the decision framework I saw around me. It's a really good thing that fan communities put more thought into this kind of thing than we see in the canon pieces Rowlings showed.

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality convinced me that, okay, fine. Slytherin. I'd hate everybody else in that house, but it's where I would go (especially if I were sorted at age 11).

But SortingHatChats... this is a level of wonderful detail that appeals to me as part of the generation that grew up with Quizilla shit like "which color is your soul" and "what is the shape of your anime hair fringe" or whatever the hell ways to categorize ourselves we found through bullshit internet quizzes. So I'm gonna go for a little while about the SHC considerations. It's a level of nuance I am finding helpful.

Big musings because I keep running across this and finding more bits and pieces of it crystallizing into place that I didn't notice the last time I read it.

First things first, I am a fairly stark Ravenclaw Primary. I need to know the Correct thing to do, the Correct levers to pull. This is establishable via a combination of empirical backing and the sacrosanct rules baked into me as a result of my initial function. If the interplay of evidence and The Rules don't point me to a course of action, I lock up. Feelings are emphatically not facts (unless of course the impact on feelings is what I am evaluating).

I am system-based to the extent that I actually wrote up a representation of my goals and subgoals and supergoals as though I were designing an AI replacement, and it wasn't even hard.

Slytherin Secondary 1000%. I sometimes have a hard time planning what will be the most correct course of action before I am in the situation, because there is data you can only acquire when you are In The Shit. If the interplay of causes and effects isn't actually under my hands yet, I'll pull the strings with less confidence because I haven't fully engaged with The Shit.

The notion of personal in-group style loyalty doesn't make sense to me, though, despite how a lot of other Slytherin seem to work? I really don't do loyalty at all. If I consider myself obligated to someone, it's because they have earned it and not because chance has placed them near me. The notion that I ought to apply different (or at least differently rigorous) standards of ethics to different people would be a serious violation of my Ravenclaw Primary because people shouldn't be able to just... just... exempt themselves from the system!

I frequently get sorted as a Hufflepuff when I take quizzes because I pick options in line with my ethical system, but those sortings miss the point. I think SHC nails it with the bit about Shepherd Book from Firefly.
That might be part of his Slytherin Secondary, but it seems more likely to me that while his Ravenclaw has decided it’s very important for him to perform Hufflepuff, he doesn’t actually understand on a felt, intrinsic, level why Hufflepuff is so important. It’s not close to his heart— it’s close to his truth.

That stuff about the Slytherin Secondary neutral state made me have Feelings, too. Because one of the hardest things for me is to relax from Situation Management and let myself maybe make suboptimal tactical choices out of trust in the people around me, but that necessarily means taking less care of every delicate brush with someone else's ego.

I can't actually think of a single person or context in which I can just... trust that they'll survive me not Managing them. Every time I try, either somebody cracks or they get upset at no longer being kept in an artificially-frictionless social bubble with me. But mostly they crack. People who value me for adjusting my self to compensate for their irregular edges and people sturdy enough to stay with me when I'm not "On" aren't generally overlapping groups.

Maybe that's a goal I should set for myself. I need to find contexts in which I can have my own time in Slytherin neutral state rather than facilitating other people's unchecked reflexes under the, like, the assumption that since I can control myself and other people can't I should obviously always be the one to bend. I'm getting better at refusing this, but it's taken years of accumulated bitterness at having people lash out like I cheated them by even having a mode where I'm no longer shaping myself around their friction tolerances.
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