User talk:Zarbag

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Welcome!

Hello, Zarbag, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

In Soviet Russia, award gives YOU!

Red M&M Comrade NeedABrain has awarded you a red M&M!
Due voting on Practical Lessons on Communism

"In Soviet Russia, article features YOU!"

-- herr doktor needsAcharge Rocket [scream!] 15:42, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Thank you for your vote

-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  22:10, 7 March 2007 (UTC)

I think you deserve this


--General Insineratehymn 22:49, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote

Kittymeal For voting for her article, TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL,
Sanns-sig has awarded you:
A Hello Kitty airplane meal. Now that's a meal from Hell.

Napoleon III

Done. -- Prof. Olipro Icons-flag-gb KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 17:28, 16 July 2007 (UTC)

Byzantine Empire

Hey Zarbag,

I thought as I was going to sleep last night that it ought to be Emperor Antonio rather than King Antonio, and when I went to change it this morning, you already had. Excellent.

That Byzantine Empire article is becoming quite the monsterpiece, isn't it? Thanks for dressing it with those great pictures. I have a project, if you're into it. I say we make it as long as we can, detailing the entire 1000-year history of Byzantium, and then try to get it featured again! Let me know if you're into it. I'll bet Insineratehymn will want to be involved too. YouFang 15:29, 6 August 2007 (UTC)

Possibly, we could have separate article for a few things (as we already have for Fall of Constantinople) with a relevant link in the main article --Zarbag 15:54, 7 August 2007 (UTC)

Peter Hitchens

Like the mad eyes, but isn't a tooth brush moustache a little too obvious? Finger 21:01, 8 August 2007 (UTC)

The sheer obviousness is part of the joke, really. I'm going to update that pic to have his mouth move up a bit so it looks more like he's pulling a silly face. I may try it without the 'tache, we'll see. --Zarbag 21:04, 8 August 2007 (UTC)

Mosley

Hi Zarbag, I've just reviewed your Oswald Mosley article. The review is a little wishy-washy as I liked the article, felt you could get more from it, but when it came to summing up just how, I got a little stuck. If it's OK with you, I may make a few edits myself to see if I can add anything useful - but only if you don't mind (get me and my manners!)

Alternatively, I may pop other suggestions either on the article's talk page or here - whichever seems easiest at the time.

Alternatively alternatively, I may forget completely, but I hope not!

Hope you find at least some of it useful, and if you do - I've got 3 articles that have been languishing on Pee Review for ages now, and would appreciate you taking a look at any of 'em.

Anyway, tatty byes. --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 15:46, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

The review can be found on the Pee Review section by clicking the "Reviewed" tab, and scrolling down a bit.

Or by clicking here, if you're feeling lazy! ;-)

I might make a few tweaks - I'm shaping up to be busier than I expected, so I'll see what happens. Cheers! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 19:27, 3 October 2007 (UTC)

Braveheart

Nice edits to the Braveheart article. I would've edited the year and main character myself, but I didn't want it to conflict with the rest of the article. I are an yungz0rz and inexperience-ificated. >_> Benmark 20:27, 29 October 2007 (UTC)

Classy

Here's a handy user template! --  Le Cejak <-> 20:52, 9 November 2007 (UTC)

Carry On Film

Can you help me out and talk a little look at my attempts to be funny and see what needs to be improved? I only ask this as you seem to be a Carry On fan. Er ... Merry Christmas? OliverKnight 13:19, 13 December 2007 (UTC)


Christmas, apparently

Top hat
Zarbag Has A Lotta Class.

Don't fuck with them.
Evil santa Merry Christmas!
or whatever it is you
new-fangled Christians do at this
time of year.
From Rabbi Techno

EPIC FAIL!

~Fag x FS


Jon Gaunt

Hi Zarbag

I've started a page on Jon Gaunt http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Jon_Gaunt After reading some of your hilarious work on the Richard Littlejohn page I was wondering if you would like to help out on the Jon Gaunt page? I'm quite new to uncyclopedia so the page could do with some of your help!

Thank you very much!

Tiger47

Rough Pubs

Fishbeer Rabbi Techno
is sending you this undoubtedly
delicious beer to say thanks
for voting for Rough Pubs!
From Rabbi Techno

+VFH thankyou thing

Lindberghwatch Lucky Lindy presents you with this
Charles Lindbergh Signature Aerial Atlantic Aviator Watch (estimated value: $4 Civil War bucks)
Thanks for voting for Charles Lindbergh over at that crazy VFH thing.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 23:02 Feb 24)

Claudius

I hope you liked my Claudius article, I didn't realize you were the one behind the other Julio-Claudian emperors. If you want to make some edits or do the pee review for it, I would be very very happy :). Scatman John eh? In my opinion Claudius was a bloody genius, he just let his ladies and flowers (read my article) do too much for him.

Any other Roman/Greek articles you are planning on doing? --Eldop 17:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

Great Photo

Dear Zarbag,

I took a shit when I saw that picture you put up about Rome being a shadow of its former self in the Byzantine Empire. I'm still giggling. Where the hell did you get that photo? YouFang 19:26, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

The guy behind the column is perfect, but the facial expression of the woman is so bizarre and hilarious. What a wonderful bit of luck that you discovered this insane "found" masterpiece. YouFang 08:37, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Y'know, you don't see many VFH thanks templates about these days, do you?

Don't care. I still use 'em. Here's one now:

Bubbledress *pop*
Yeah, er, thanks for *pop*
your vote for *pop* that...
oh lord, her whole dress is made of...
*popop* *pop*

Blimey, it's been a while since I was here - my old sig is on this page! Well, thanks for the vote Zarbag! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:09, Jun 4

For making the place nicer one article at a time

Pentagramaward3
Celtic Ninja Star
This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:22, 5 January 2009 (UTC)

Romartus 16:14, 8 January 2009 (UTC) Thanks for your edits on my Roman emperors since Titus etc. I hope to carry on to at least Commodus if I can ! The only weak one is the Augustus piece which is out of style compared to all the others. I guess that has to be voted on to get action on it = and that someone knows how to replace it.

Romartus 16:45, 8 January 2009 (UTC) Thanks for your comments. The Augustus article needs a kick and the removal of the lame wizard jokes too ! I also don't want to butcher it too much so is it polite to ask the original writer if he will mind a drastic edit or put somewhere else as Augustus the Wizard ??

Your opinion please?

Hello Zarbag,

Can you give my article, Early Music Ensemble (game) a readthrough and tell me what you think? I respect your edits and your sense of humour, so I think you'll be able to provide a valuable opinion. YouFang 19:50, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, Zarbag. I wanted to see if the comic buildup was there, and I guess it is. I appreciate your time. If you have any suggestions as to what would make the article funnier, let me know. Let me know if you need my opinion on some article in the future, hokay? Hokay. YouFang 08:35, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Roman Emperors

Hi Zarbag. Thanks for all your contributions and articles - this category is looking at least comprehensive ! I have got as far Severus Alexander as you can see (though need to finish it this week) . The next emperors to do will be Max Thrax , The Gordians (a Gordon Ramsay joke has to come in there ) and Philip the Arab. After that - we have to try and bridge the gap to Constantine. If you have any ideas or preferences - let me know. I don't want to make it appear I am monopolising this series too much.

As you know - I am still keen to re-work Augustus/Octavian articles at some stage. Also one thing I was going to ask you - do you think the Caligula article should be extended ? The listy ending doesn't look right now . If I have the time or inspiration I will give it a go there as well but not right now. --Romartus 15:34, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

No probs as regards Valentinian and Valens. I had them down as former greeting cards salesmen/speech writers turned into Roman soldiers. I will leave Claudius II for you . As for Phocas - ha - I should get there by about 2011 at this rate ! I am averaging about a 2 emps a month right now but I am trying to avoid making the same jokes x 5 ! --Romartus 12:01, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Cleopatra

Hi Zarbag - you may have noticed I ended up re-writing the Cleopatra article. I have kept a few bits of your previous work in the notes. I trust you don't mind but once I started I realised it wasn't adequate as it stood for such an iconic figure like Cleo !--Romartus 12:52, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Sog 1970

I don't know if you have noticed - we have an very good addition to the fake history creators in the shape of Sog 1970 . Is there a British monarchs fake template we can create or does the have to be run by the admins ? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 19:48, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Calling Zarbag ?

Are you still in the land of the Uncyclopedia living ? Check my discussion for a writer who likes your Caligula article. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 21:35, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Biggus Dickus=

Hi Zarbag. Noticed you changed back some of the edits on Biggus Dickus. My only quibble is that isn't the editor correct as regards replacing Augustus's name with Tiberius and Caligula ?. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 15:52, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Template for Kings/Rulers of England ?

Hi Zarbag. I have noticed we have quite a few articles on British rulers. Do you think a template could be created for them , same as we have for the Roman emperors ? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:53, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

History of Great Britain

Hi Zarbag. Thanks for your assistance on this re-write. I have been doing a lot of RL work so hadn't had a chance to do anymore. One idea I did have for this was to be the 'author' to write it mainly about England and call in British history. This would actually be in keeping with the older school of historians who would write about England and then add the Scots,Welsh and Irish if they were causing problems. A classic example is A.J.P Taylor's History of England. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:01, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

I am trying to write up to Henry VIII but I would suggest you put in Henry VII with his forward thinking plans about uniting England and Scotland to create Great Britain. Amazing foresight as Henry VII obviously knew his own son Henry VIII would breed a clutch of dynastic dead ends. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:53, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

Che Ape

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Zarbag, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

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Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

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This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

A second call to Zarbag

Hi Zarbag. I want to extend your contributions to the History of Great Britain. I just want to check with you if that's ok. I won't delete anything you have there but will 'work round them'. I think as regards length, we should just bash it all the way to 2010. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:29, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Go ahead, although if I don't like any of it I reserve the right to re-edit it back! ;) --Zarbag 16:58, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
Of course - you can do that too! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:18, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
There is a message on the History of Great Britain page regards length. Can I suggest we make the article split with the death of Richard III and then starting page 2 with Henry VII? I am not sure how to do that and don't want another format ban! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:58, August 1, 2010 (UTC)

When Did You Last See Your Trews?

When did first edit here Zarbag? I see some users haven't bothered with the roll call. I added the good RabbiTechno as he was one of the first regulars to talk to me besides yourself. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:55, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Blimey, not sure. Around 2006, I think. --Zarbag 18:56, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
I checked your first edit. June 2006, one of the old hands here but you stay below the radar! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:11, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

History of Great Britain

We are going to need a bit of a rewrite from 1789-1914 as the next stage in this mammoth task! I am glad we haven't gotten into edit fight on this one so I guess we are basically in harmony here. Let me know your thoughts. Perhaps a split with Napoleonic Wars, 1815-1848 Great Reform bill etc (ah..just like sitting for A Levels again), Crimean War, Gladstone-Disraeli. Albert and Victoria, Marks and Spencer...--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:10, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Premature Nom

Aleister nommed the article today. I said it wasn't finished. Let me know what you think. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:07, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

Whigs

Hey Zarbag. Thanks for the vote on that article as I know you're not a regular in the VFH zone. I see you have been doing more work on the History of Great Britain. It reminds me of programmes where they show people working on a cathedral and how long it would take to build the damn thing! Should be done by Christmas but I get side tracked in cleaning up stuff too. I had to re-write Nelson and Trafalgar articles. The former was bad but the second was a pile of nonsense involving Sweden (!). I noticed Wellington article is also in a poor state so will make that next bit of work. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:20, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

History

I've never told you how much I love the History of Great Britain page. A couple of months ago I wrote Romartus that I had my biggest laugh of the month when I looked at the page, scrolled down its miles of text, and when I came to the bottom saw four tiny footnotes. Laughed and laughed for minutes, that just hit me perfectly. Please don't change that about the page, ever, even if Romartus is being held by kidnappers who demand that it be changed. Aleister 17:52 25-3-'11

You speaks the truth. I'll make sure it stays as it is. --Zarbag 22:46, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks, that is so fun. The epic, as I call your article, is one of the most amazing creations here. The only weak point I can see is from the second world war up, which is a little thin compared to putting so much material in the other eras. But that's a minor comment amidst a sea of awe. Aleister 23:01 26-3-'11
Yeah, the post-war stuff is rough as fuck at the moment largely because myself and Romartus have spent piss-all time refining it. You wait, though, it'll be bloody great eventually. It's like the Hagia Sophia of Uncyclopedia articles. --Zarbag 23:03, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
The very last section is actually the remnants of the original article which was there before Zarbag and I got started on this over a year ago. I hope once we get that re-edited and the entire article gets looked at again for errors/typos and perhaps also removing stuff that doesn't work, it will be near as finished. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:38, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
No, no, I don't want to see it end. Another year at least! What I mean about the second world war and after is that it doesn't seem long enough compared with the detail and coverege of the other eras. The impact of the Beatles on the world, the apparent fall of the empire only to rise again as part of the Brit-American-Australian and other white people coalition to take back the colonies in Africa and the middle east through surrogate control, just stuff from the era. I dunnno, I'm probably just urging this because I want to see the page even longer, more words, more pics, more, always more. Aleister 10:30 27-3-'11
I think the 'dedication' and first service in the Church of the History of Great Britain is not far off. Thanks though Al for some of the pointers where the article can expand..like the universe. Perhaps less Hagia Sophia and more like the church in Barcelona known as the Sagrada_Família. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:10, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Much Thanks for making Padmé

Padme6

Your support is what made Padmé!

--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:01, Jul 10

History of the Great Britain

I think the boys were hoping Romartus would see the vandalism first. Check out the talking. mAttlobster. (hello) 13:17, January 2, 2012 (UTC)

Template for Roman Dictators

Hi Zarbag. I was thinking we could do with a template that covers Roman Dictators/Bullies to cover those who pre-date Julius Caesar and could include laters figures like Aetius who were no emperors but had all the powers to be one. It could be very similar to the emperor one and keep Julius Caesar as the 'bridge' between the two. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:38, January 19, 2012 (UTC)

That's a great idea. Is there all that much to put on it at the moment, tho'? --Zarbag 20:43, January 19, 2012 (UTC)
Finally did one today. I just copied yours but changed the colours and image. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:01, August 7, 2012 (UTC)

I have to drop by...

... every year or so, to say how much I admire your work and your dedication to history. Roma wasn't built in a day, and neither was History of Great Britain but both will last for a thousand years or until the roads decay and both of them becoming small towns populated by wandering bands of non-minstrels, whichever comes first. Nice work all around on many articles. Aleister 18:44 28-3-'12

Thanks! Being appreciated makes we weep with joy. Well, grin with joy. Well, maybe smile a bit. The embarrassing thing is I try and do "proper" writing as well and it's probably a hill of beans compared to what I've managed here. :) --Zarbag (talk) 20:51, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
Hi there Zarbag. Old collab partner! Shame you're not so active of late, you are adept at keeping under the radar here. A bit like Mad Max, you only see him on the fixing stuff logs or when there is DRAMA. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:47, April 20, 2012 (UTC)


History of Great Britain

I had another look Zarbag. I think we are perhaps asking people a lot to read this in one go so I was going to propose this:- A general article, then sub divisions:

  • History of Great Britain from Big Bang to 1066 AD
  • History of Great Britain from 1066-1714
  • History of Great Britain from 1714-2012

There would be one overall article covering the entire era like an introduction but with sub headings. I will copy what we have done now and create what I have in mind on my own sub pages. I will let you know once I have done that. It would mean there would two versions of this story for awhile. Let me know before I do this. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:14, May 23, 2012 (UTC)

Copied a version to my own pages to tinker around with.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:15, July 19, 2012 (UTC)

Hello Zarbag!

Hi Zarbag. I nominated you Writer of the Month. You should have got this ages ago but I recall you lost out before. Pop by more often! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:15, July 19, 2012 (UTC)

I did and saw that but being rubbish at communicating with people on here I forgot to drop by and say "thanks" so I'll say it here. Last time I looked, though, nobody else was nominated and I'm a bit worried about winning a USSR-style election. --Zarbag (talk) 18:59, July 20, 2012 (UTC)
Well it's happened before that only one candidate was put forward. You were nommed before by Aleister and lost out then. So I can't see why you shouldn't get this award. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:00, July 20, 2012 (UTC)

TKF failed to award you this

Writer of the month Writer of the Month July 2012 Well done. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 08:02, August 1, 2012 (UTC)

Well done Zarbag! You can now go for that tattoo to celebrate. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:12, August 1, 2012 (UTC)

Awww, thanks guys :D --Zarbag (talk) 18:15, August 1, 2012 (UTC)

Yay! I was gone almost all of July, and didn't know you were nominated or I would have voted twice. Well deserved and awesome! Yay!!! Aleister 16:30 8-7-12

John Redwood

The article is down for VFD. Looking at the history, a lot of it seems to be your work. It has a good chance to be deleted unless updated or at least improved. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:07, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

I assumed that it was up for deletion because people didn't like it but it seems it's largely a victim of US navel-gazing. The fact that they've not heard of Redwood is neither here nor there. Would it be fair for others to run around tagging all the entries about US minor celebrities they've not heard of? I admit the article isn't very good (I've barely put any work into it and the only bit I'm really happy with is the picture) but I'm annoyed that its been a victim of national parochialism --Zarbag (talk) 18:47, September 3, 2012 (UTC)
Possibly that's all true Zarbag but a mild rewrite could save it. Perhaps the Vulcan theme can be emphasised more as he still looks weird on television. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:51, September 3, 2012 (UTC)

Pan-Imperial Highway

Hi Zarbag. I recently started filling in the gap between the two blocks of Roman emperors. I remembered you wanted to write Claudius II. I will leave that page for you and any others you might want to add. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:32, October 30, 2012 (UTC)

Cheers. Really happy that this is happening as the "gap" has long been bothering me. I'll gladly take Claudius II and maybe dig out my old hardback on the Augusti to see who else I fancy taking the piss out of. --Zarbag (talk) 18:59, November 1, 2012 (UTC)
Thanks Zarbag. Mind the Gap....--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:57, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
Actually...you wanted to write about Valentinian I but I forgot that part of the request (was looking through my archives when I discovered that message!). Feel free if you want to change that one. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:36, December 11, 2012 (UTC)
(I just put up a forum about this conversation. Earlier I wrote the following:) Man, (or men), this fucking conversation alone defeats the meme that uncyclopedia is a dying website, a wasteland covered with dry ice, a grandmother alone on a dry iceberg. Look at that. The two of you are dividing up what little is left for both of you to write about in the entire history of the Roman Empire. And the thing you did with the epic, what a treasure for this website. This is the kind of stuff which will get us the publicity we need, move or not. I want to copy your above conversation and put in on a page where I put special things. Forgive the interruption (jumps back out the window from whence I came) Aleister 19:11 19decemb12

News

Hi Zarbag. Since you haven't been around of late, Uncyclopedia has split into two sites. The one at Wikia (here) and the one at another site which I won't directly link except if you go to Frosty's User page you will see it there. If you want accounts at both sites, log in with the same user name and password. I have an account there but just to check my articles, talk to people but regards everything else, I have chosen to stay here to devote my efforts. And that site has nommed History of Great Britain.. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 10:48, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

And The History of Great Britain has also been nommed here. The users at the other site are praising it to high heaven, as they should. Aleister 11:27 14-1-'13

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