2007.07.22 Dodging zings and arrows of children

Written by David Green.

By COLLEEN LEDDY

Normally, the only time I wear make-up is when I’m embarrassing myself in front of scores of kids at Morenci Elementary School, dressed up in some hideous outfit that is loosely related to the library’s Summer Reading Program theme. I’m just trying to make myself memorable enough that the kids won’t forget to tell their parents some nut dressed in a hideous outfit came to school to promote Stair Public Library’s reading program.

This year, I didn’t have to slather on the grease paint since my re-incarnated chicken costume included a large beak and sunglasses. In past years, especially the year I was Gina the Gypsy, it would take me many precious minutes making myself colorful. The time spent applying make-up—I don’t know how girls and women can afford it. And it’s not just applying it—you have to take the stuff off at night, too. I just don’t have the patience for it. And then there’s the ingredients—who knows what the heck we’re applying to our skin which is then being absorbed into our bloodstream?

But it’s a gloomy picture when I look in the mirror these days. The grayer I get, the blotchier my skin gets and the more pronounced the bags under my eyes get. Usually, I’m in such a rush I don’t even have time to look at myself so I’m not even aware of the many flaws. But when I was standing in a hotel bathroom with my daughters primping for a wedding in June, I offered up my face to them. Maddie dabbed me with some powdery stuff and in the fluorescent light I could see marked improvement—bags be gone!

I figure with Rozee’s wedding just around the corner (July 2008 will be here in no time) I better get used to this make-up business. So, for the next wedding we attended, I joined them again at the bathroom mirror for more treatment.

“Here, try this,” said Rozee as she dabbed some kind of powder foundation under my eyes. “It has minerals.”

“I can still see my bags,” I said when she was done.

“Use mine.  It’s better,” said Maddie, as she handed me her version of foundation.

“I can still see them,” I said, after applying hers.

“It’s not magic,” Maddie replied, stating the obvious.

Ah, children. All grown up and still they wound thy heart.

They struck again Saturday. Rozee called me at the library to say Ben had just called home and she was calling to relay his message.

“Ben said he and Sarah got...”

And before she could finish the sentence, I immediately thought, “engaged!”

But Rozee continued, “...library cards. He thought you would want to know,” she said.

“He said the cards are really nice and you’re going to be jealous,” she said. “He said he’ll send a picture.”

Ever since Ben moved to Miami, I’ve been suggesting he visit his local library. It’s only taken a year and now that he’s done it, I should be thrilled. Instead I’m disappointed—I really thought Rozee was going to say he was engaged.

It’s probably because I have weddings on the brain—I’ve been to three in the last eight weeks, Rozee is making wedding plans, and everywhere I turn there seems to be another story about weddings.

I read one just today about Detroit Free Press editor Ron Dzwonkowski’s particularly ill-fated day. A series of mishaps included the bride who hobbled down the aisle after being injured in a car crash the day before (while en route to a funeral home to pay her respects to an uncle who had just died), the priest who was stuck in Pittsburgh with car trouble, the brother who fainted from the heat during the vows, another car crash in which their wedding cake ended up across Middlebelt Rd., and the photographer who disappeared after the wedding reception never to be heard from again.

Thirty-four years later, Ron and his wife can laugh about their disastrous wedding, because, as they have learned, “it’s the marriage that matters.”

I’ll have to remind Rozee of that. Then it won’t matter if make-up won’t hide my bags at her wedding.

  • Front.bridge Cross
    STEP BY STEP—Wyatt Stevens of Morenci makes his way across a rope bridge Sunday during the Michigan DNR’s Great Outdoors Jamboree at Lake Hudson Recreation Area. The Tecumseh Boy Scout Troop constructed the bridge again this year after taking a break in 2016. The Jamboree offered a variety of activities for a wide range of age groups. Morenci’s Stair District Library set up activities again this year and had visits with dozens of kids. See the back page for additional photos.
  • Front.bridge.17
    LEADING THE WAY—The Morenci Area High School marching band led the way across the pedestrian bridge on Morenci’s south side for the annual Labor Day Bridge Walk. The Band Boosters shared profits from the sale of T-shirts with the walk’s sponsor, the Morenci Area Chamber of Commerce. Additional photos are on the back page.
  • Front.eclipse
    LOOKING UP—More than 200 people showed up at Stair District Library Monday afternoon to view the big celestial event with free glasses provided by a grant from the Space Science Institute. The library offered craft activities from noon to 1 p.m., refreshments including Cosmic Cake from Zingerman’s Bakehouse and a live viewing of the eclipse from NASA on a large screen. As the sky darkened slightly, more and more people moved outside to the sidewalk to take a look at the shrinking sun. If you missed it, hang on for the next total eclipse in 2024 as the path comes even closer to this area.
  • Cecil
    THE MAYOR—Cecil Schoonover poses with a collection of garden gnomes that mysteriously arrive and disappear from his property. Along with the gnomes, someone created the sign stating that he is the Mayor of Gnomesville. He hasn’t yet tracked down the people involved in the prank, but he’s having a good time with the mystery.
  • Front.rest
    TAKE A BREAK—Last Wednesday’s session of Stair District Library’s Summer Reading Program ended with a quiet period in a class presented by yoga instructor Melany Gladieux of Toledo. Children learned a variety of yoga poses in the main room at the library, then finished off the session relaxing. Additional photos are on page 7. Area children are invited to visit the library today when the Michigan Science Center presents a flight program at 11 a.m. and roller coasters at 1 p.m.
  • Front.batter
    THE DERBY—Tyler “Smallpox” Flakne of Minnesota’s Home Run League All-Stars goes for the fence Friday night during the National Wiffle League Association’s home run derby in Morenci. This year the wiffleball national tournament moved from Dublin, Ohio, to Morenci’s Wakefield Park. During the derby, competitors had two minutes to hit as many home runs as possible. The winner this year finished with 21. See page 6 and 7 for additional photos.
  • Front.green Screen
    OUT OF THIS WORLD—Elizabeth McFadden and Elise Christle pose in front of the green screen as VolunTeen Noah Gilson makes them appear as though they are standing on the Moon. More photos from the Stair District Library’s NASA @ My Library program are on page 12.
  • Front.fireworks
    FIREWORKS erupt Saturday night over Morenci’s Wakefield Park during the waning hours of the Town and Country Festival. Additional festival photos are inside.
  • Front.batter

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