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Get Off the Internet!

Our cover package this week is all about people in Tucson we'd like to see leave town. Since we're already being cranky in these pages, I thought I'd add a special Weekly Wide Web nominee to the mix: people who complain about free stuff on the Internet.

When blogging-platform-of-the-moment Tumblr went down for a day last week and was cranky for a few days afterward, a segment of the Internet population lost its collective mind. Sure, it was mildly inconvenient that you couldn't update your "Fuck Yeah! Taylor Lautner" site for 24 hours ... but Tumblr generally doesn't charge anything for an easy-to-use, fun service.

In other words, Tumblr doesn't really owe you anything.

Believe it or not, there was once an era when you had to spend hours at Kinko's manually cutting and pasting actual pieces of printed paper to assemble a zine to collect your crazed thoughts. You had to spend actual money to print copies, then spend actual time delivering issues that might not ever be picked up and read. But today, you can have instant access to a nearly infinite potential audience for your deep, insightful opinions about what's happening on All My Children, everyday, within minutes. It's a better situation, even if there are occasionally imperfect hiccups.

If you're wildly opinionated, slightly unhinged and not willing to appreciate the glory of the Internet age, I suggest you either embrace a more forgiving outlook on life ... or get off the Internet!


THE WEEK ON THE RANGE

We rounded up reaction to the tax-cuts/unemployment-benefit-extension/stealth-stimulus deal negotiated by the Obama administration and congressional Republicans; brought you a clip of state Sen. Russell Pearce suggesting that President Obama was avoiding Arizona because he knew our cops would ask him for his papers (and we all know our president is no natural-born citizen!); and examined some of the recent jockeying for leadership positions in the Arizona Democratic and Republican parties.

We also followed the ongoing story of how state budget cuts by Republican lawmakers have blocked life-saving transplants for low-income Arizonans. We highlighted efforts to privatize state prisons, and featured an Arizona Illustrated Friday Roundtable segment in which Mayor Bob Walkup said he foresaw a groundbreaking for a downtown science museum within the next two years.

OK, then!

We posted a video explaining how Café Aqui roasts those fine coffee beans; shared a track from the new Young Mothers CD; told you about all kinds of local films showing at the Loft Cinema; and let you know that you can buy a calendar packed with stunning images of Mars from the UA's Lunar and Planetary Lab.

We brought you a fab video that only began to capture the wonder of Calexico covering The Flaming Lips at the Rialto Theatre during the Great Cover-Up; urged you to consider the work of local authors (particularly our own Margaret Regan, whose The Death of Josseline is now out in paperback) while shopping for holiday gifts; and shared images from the Fourth Avenue Street Fair.


COMMENT OF THE WEEK

"I'm always trying to find a way to better befriend my vacuum cleaner. That way, when robots take over the world, it'll say, 'Hey, he's cool ... he's with me.'"

—Facebook commenter Jerico Greene, on his plans to avoid being stabbed by a pig-carving automaton ("What I'm Afraid of Today: A Ham-Carving Robot," The Range, Dec. 7).


BEST OF WWW

Our "Secrets of Tucson Bartenders" series returns this week with another tip from Jasper Food and Mixology's Jonas Black. This time, he makes a green tea gimlet and discusses how classic drinks can be improved by adding new and unexpected flavor twists. With holiday cocktail parties in full swing, you can watch and pick up some advice that'll help you impress your friends and acquaintances!

Also, the Great Cover-Up has come and gone after another successful year. We're sharing one of our favorite performances from the weekend in the non-Calexico category. Seashell Radio stormed through the Phil Collins catalog—without a cover of "Sussudio" in sight! Keyboardist Cassie Van Gelder took the lead on "Against All Odds," and you can watch it at TucsonWeeklyTV.com.

More by Dan Gibson

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