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The Daily Word in stealing debates, stealing space shuttles, stealing weed, and recovering stolen maple syrup

evening edition

Now we have a plan for stealing one of the Space Shuttles.

This is awesome.

Al Qaeda strategy involves lighting forest fires.

Cooking with Christopher Walken.

Grandmother protects her weed crop by confronting thieves with bear-spray.

People think you have to know someone in order to get a local government job, and they're right.

People think it's conceited for Taos officials to name public buildings after themselves, and they're right.

"I pooped the question. She said yes."

Police are following up on leads as some of Canada's stolen strategic maple syrup reserve surfaces.

Watch (and cry) as these former lab-chimps go outside for the first time.

Forget Gangnam Style, check out this documentary on Mongolian hip hop.

Did Mitt Romney CHEAT at the debate?

Unapologetically pro-Obama.

In Florida, it is against the law to annoy a manatee.

Obviously Bat-Girl is for equal pay for women!

On this day in 2000, Slobodan Milosovic resigned.

    news

    The Daily Word in racist comics, staff cuts for Newt and Winrock revitalization

    Why is a there an effort to smear the reputation of Trayvon Martin?

    Construction to revitalize Winrock Mall begins next week.

    Dude, this racist cartoon is pretty racist, even for Texas.

    Guess which Republican Presidential candidate just let go of a third of his full-time staff?

    Magdalena's only grocery store is closing.

    Fox News hoodies disappear from online store and somehow it's not a conspiracy.

    New species of hammerhead shark discovered.

    'Dinosaur' and 'dancing' are some of the 50 forbidden words to be removed from standardized tests in New York.

    JFK airport employees responsible for 200 thefts per day.

    Pharmacies are lying to teenagers about emergency contraception.

    Sometimes it's hard being an asshole atheist.

    Taiwanese woman chats with Facebook friends as she kills herself.

    According to a new study, rubbing toothpaste onto your teeth with your fingers will increase fluoride protection by a whopping 400%.

    Someone's got a case of the Mondays.

    How to work for a micromanager.

    Watch 130 'Simpsons' openings at the same time, for science.

    Fish McBites are a real thing, so is Chicken-n-Waffles-flavored syrup.

    Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson says "Thick as a Brick 2" is coming.

    Trailer for a new "Lupin the 3rd" TV series.

    Laugh at these treadmill fails.

    De-porn your browser before your mom comes to visit.

    Hey, remember Luscious Jackson?

    Happy Birthday Reba McEntire!!!

    news

    The Daily Word in Dear Leaders, political assassinations and President Palin

    China recognizes Kim Jong Un as North Korea's new leader.

    Sunni chief denies ordering the deaths of his political enemies.

    Sarah Palin thinks it's not too late.

    A new casino may be coming to the fairgrounds.

    "This is wut happens wen my baby hits me back.;)"

    Three local restaurants receive red stickers.

    R.I.P. Captain America co-creator Joe Simon.

    First Earth-sized planet discovered.

    Should you get a QR-code tattoo?

    Don't move!

    Keep it cool guys, Jon Bon Jovi is not dead.

    Simpsons + Breaking Bad

    This youtube video about the Norwegian butter shortage will change your freaking life.

    Keep those brain-eating amoebas out of your neti pot.

    Happy Birthday John Hillerman!!!

      news

      The Daily Word in freed hikers, geniuses and suicide by rollercoaster

      Two years after accidentally hiking into Iran, Josh Fattal and Shan Bauer have been freed.

      Is Troy Davis's scheduled execution America's worst miscarriages of justice?

      Masked gunmen dump 35 dead bodies in the middle of a busy Boca Del Rio street.

      Gary Johnson gets a spot in tomorrow's presidential debate.

      Federal prosecutors call online poker site a global Ponzi scheme.

      Republican leaders sent a letter to the Federal Reserve Chairman asking him to “resist further extraordinary intervention in the U.S. economy.”

      A mother abducted her eight children in New York.

      Personnel board votes to lay-off 27 state workers.

      New questions in the deadly Reno air show crash.

      Once again, I was not named a MacArthur Genius.

      Here's a video flyover of the asteroid Vesta.

      Facebook changed again last night.

      Nobody wants a ginger baby.

      Steven Colbert really really wants to broaden the tax base.

      Most epic post-car accident interview ever.

      This roller coaster is the future of suicide.

      23 rejected covers of famous books.

      I know you're lazy, but are you lazy enough for Forever Lazy?

      I think this may be exciting news for fans of Magic: The Gathering.

      If you're interested in getting some Venture Bros. action figures you should read this.

      Game of Thrones cupcakes!

      Gordon Ramsay gets another TV show.

      This is awesome. And weird. But still awesome.

      R.I.P. Tom Wilson, creator of Ziggy.

      Fox is considering creating a 24-hour Simpsons channel.

      Mike Tyson broke Steve-O's nose at the Charlie Sheen roast.

      There have been some pretty terrible Star Wars video games, but was this one the worst?

      This one is for fans of The Wire only.

      Happy Birthday Cheryl Hines!!!

      news

      The Daily Word 2.19.11: Bingaman's seat; demise of Dewey decimal; fink on Berlusconi

      Senator Jeff Bingaman announced his retirement. It's going to be like amphetamine musical chairs when he vacates his seat.

      House republicans pass bill to implement enormous spending cuts. Hey Boehner, read my lips: "VETO."

      Italian PM Berlusconi once tried to get Naomi Campbell's digits. He goes on trial for paying an underage prostitute on April sixth.

      This woman is pissed at People of Walmart because her mom is one of the people of Walmart.

      Forest Service is afraid people will fall into holes in the Sandia mountains.

      The dumbing down continues. Victim: The Dewey Decimal System.

      Protesters are being killed, arrested and intimidated in Lybia, Iran, Yemen. NY Times Blog.

      Speaking of intimidation, this Senate bill would make the publishing of classified information a felony.

      By the way: despite popular opinion, Wikileaks has revealed a ton of important information that the hoi polloi didn't know before.

      Breaking news regarding sharks.

      Wild mug shot of suspected catalytic converter criminal.

      Turn back the hands of time with Matt Groening's Father's 1969 short film "Basic Brown, Basic Blue."

      Darth Vader does Justin Bieber.

      Today is Cracker Jack Day. On this day in 1912, the first prize was placed in a box of Cracker Jack.

        news

        The Daily Word 01.12.11: Blood Libel, Insane Clown Posse, Simpsons Porno

        Sarah Palin is accusing the media of blood libel.

        Arizona says only more guns can stop gun violence.

        Arizona lawmakers banned protests near funeral sites in an effort to keep the Westboro Baptists away from the funerals of those killed in the Tuscon shootings.

        The perfect drug mule was caught in Philadelphia.

        Do your part to help APS.

        Video of China's new stealth fighter.

        You will not be able to unsee this trailer for the Simpsons porno parody.

        Professor arrested for having a suspicious bagel on a plane.

        Get your facepaint! Insane Clown Posse has officially confirmed the Gathering of the Juggalos 2011.

        Fermilab's particle accelerator is shutting down, leaving the search for the Higgs boson up to the Large Hadron Collider.

        Soon we'll be eating bugs for dinner.

        The Roll Your Own iPhone app attracts 25,000 downloads its first day available.

        Meteor strike in Alabama.

        Watch as flash floods in Australia clear an entire parking lot of cars.

        How does compound interest work if you're immortal?

        Local hoarder's home to be cleaned by neighbors, and again in six months.

        New metallic glass is stronger than steel. Just like that Star Trek movie!

        Woman arrested for allegedly shooting her husband's penis off.

        Turns out Kanye West's banned album cover publicity stunt really was a publicity stunt.

        The best streaking video I've ever seen!

        There will be a 23rd Bond film after all.

        The film industry is not happy about Gov. Martinez's plan to raise their taxes.

        Just try to bring a killer chocolate egg into the country. Just try.

        If I wasn't so damn hungry, I'd probably think Burger King's new Jalapeño & Cheddar Stuffed Steakhouse burger was pretty gross.

        Happy birthday Rob Zombie!

        Celebrity b.s.

        Lisa Simpson would have theoretically gotten married yesterday

        &nbsp;
         

        ... if she were allowed to age. Move over, Chelsea Clinton.

        This still is from an episode that aired in 1995.

        But Lisa will remain 8 years old forever as best anyone can tell. Plus, maybe she’s really the kind of girl that doesn’t believe in marriage anyway.

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