Hashtags for 2018

Last year and the beginning of 2018 have seen the rise of hashtags left and right (mostly left, but some are alright). So, one more time, I’m going to use my ridiculously high powers of deduction and deep-entrenched cynicism to predict the hashtags that will be necessary in 2018.

Trigger warning: There is no trigger warning.

#ImwithNeither

This should have been a hashtag during the election and during 2017. In fact, according to all the polls that I can’t recall right now but I’m almost sure I read somewhere, most people didn’t like either candidate. This hashtag would have allowed people to express their dismay at the choices they were given.

Before you think it’s too late to use such a practical hashtag, remember that there will always be an election coming up with candidates that most people dislike.

#IdontArgue

You are posting something on social media. Maybe it’s a quote that cheered you up in the morning, maybe it’s a funny picture of your dog eating your food while your wife sleeps, or maybe it’s your latest rant about your job. Then, out of the blue, someone comes out and tells you you’re wrong. (Actually, more like “YOUR RONG!!!”). Isn’t that annoying?

Hey, if there was a way to let people know that you’re not going to argue back whenever you post something. Voilà! I just gave you the perfect hashtag to add to your posts so that people will not try to change your mind. I mean, we all know how hashtags are effective at stopping people from telling you you’re wrong.

No, it’s not the same!

#TheXthatwillbreakYforever

You know how every two weeks there’s some piece of news or post about how some act or event or symbol will make a great change forever and then nothing happens? Like a quote that will break the way you look at books or a 3-year-old girl doing kung fu that will break gender stereotypes, or a photo of some politician doing whatever in some country with a name you can’t pronounce.

But now you can too bring true, everlasting change to the world. Just add this magical hashtag to whatever post you make to change something forever.

#LookAtMe

So you went to this concert with your two best friends, but in the middle of the concert, instead of enjoying the music, you decide to post that you’re having such a great time with Bob and May at the local pub, where Billy Something is performing. This kind of posts puzzle me because the only two people that would care are there already and making the post means you’re not paying attention to the concert that you paid money to listen to.

But still, you can make it a bit more evident for all the people who are not there about the attention that you’re craving. This neat hashtag will make take out any subtlety and make it clear even for your creationist uncle.

#SexyintheBathroom

The world is a beautiful place, filled with mountains, forests, lakes, impressive buildings, museums, yet 80% of the selfies that women post are taking in the bathroom. Yes, I know there is a great variant of such selfies and it’s unfair to classify them all the same. Good looking women for example, show their body from the front. Those with big boobs take their selfies from above. Very skinny women take them from the side while arching themselves as much as possible. And chubby ones just take selfies of their face. Regardless, there is some unwritten rule that says that there’s a quota to be filled with duckfaces. With this hashtag, you can warn your readers of what’s coming.

Turns out I was wrong. It actually makes you look sexier.

That’s it, my prediction for the hashtags that will make history in 2018. Yes, I avoided any reference to that one. Nope, not touching it with a 10-foot pole.

If you want to read more about his take on posting on social media is, check out Flippy’s “The Era of Clickitivism.”

When not busy mixing his whites with colors, Flippy works as a writer, translator, and language teacher. In his free time, he plays video games, takes photos, and writes funny stuff. He wonders why girls aren’t interested in the difference between a hadouken and a shoryuken, but he himself does not know the difference between a hand towel and a bath towel. You can find his book aimed at young men who are living on their own for the first time: Flippy’s Life Lessons on Amazon.com. http://www.amazon.com/Flippys-Life-Lessons-Stuff-Single/dp/0989540685
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