Written by Backwardboy26
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Tuesday, 3 January 2012

image for HMS Hood raised from the Atlantic

Those patriotic souls of merry old England may have cause to rejoice as it was announced from the Stoke Nautical salvage agency that there long-awaited programme to raise her majesties once mighty Battle cruiser 'HMS Hood' had indeed come to fruition. This multi-million dollar project had been in the pipeline for some months and there was much conviviality amongst members of the salvage team for pulling off the difficult logistics of the operation.

HMS Hood boasts a proud maritime history. Commissioned before the outbreak of World War II - she saw action in the great Battle of Jutland long before her destruction in the Atlantic at the hands of the German Battleship Bismarck in 1941. In clumsy fashion after being struck by a cascade of German shells she completely shattered in a conflagration. The vessel was completely obliterated scattering debris for miles.

However, thanks to the ingenuity of Professor of Maritime studies Brian Chesterton, she rides once again. In joy, the salvage crew uncorked a bottle of Chardonnay as the vessel resurfaced - emerging from the oceanic depths and fathoms of time. The scene was almost picturesque, as the sun reflected off her timeworn decks- her venerable guns casting a shadow.

However, the decision to re-galvanise a ghost ship has attracted controversy. The Shadow Defence minister, Arthur Brinkley condemned the whole scheme: "that infernal antiquated scrap-heap is simply useless". Admiral Stoker was less disparaging: "It's a fine ship with a fine crew, but she's been sunk a long time - lets not tempt fate again." Captain Stevenson concurred: "we are tampering with marinal forces beyond our comprehension, Hood was destroyed by providence, she doesn't get a second chance". The HMS Hood association took to the streets in celebration. Our correspondent had the honour of interviewing the chairman who was naturally overjoyed at these latest developments: "We've dreamed of this for years and the moment has finally arrived".

Many who believe they bare witness to the rebirth of an imperial icon may never forget our beloved heritage. Alas, there will always be an England!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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