Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I'M NOT YELLING, I JUST TYPE THIS WAY

GARRISONVILLE - HEY, HOW'S IT GOING? I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT YOUR RESPONSE TO MY LAST FEW MESSAGES, AND I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU'RE JUDGING ME TOO QUICKLY.

SURE, I CAN SEE THAT MANY NEWBIES ON THE WEB ARE NOT WELL VERSED IN THE SUBTLETIES OF INTERNET ETIQUETTE, AS IT WERE. THAT'S NO REASON TO LUMP ME IN WITH THEM - I SIMPLY PREFER TYPING LIKE THIS.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I NEVER GOT A HANDLE ON THE COMPLEX RULES OF CAPITALIZATION. WHILE I RECOGNIZE THAT IT'S ODD, GIVEN MY NEAR MASTERY OF PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR, IT'S NOT SO DIFFERENT FROM A VISIONARY LIKE E.E. CUMMINGS WHO USED ONLY LOWER CASE.

COME TO THINK OF IT, YOU DON'T GO AROUND SAYING E.E. CUMMINGS WAS WHISPERING ALL THE TIME, DO YOU?

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CRITICIZING THE MANNER IN WHICH I USE MY MOBILE PHONE IN PUBLIC PLACES. NOT ONLY IS IT IMPORTANT THAT THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END HEAR MY VOICE, BUT I FEEL IT IS VITAL TO CONVEY THE GRAVITY OF MY CONVERSATION TO BYSTANDERS.

THANKS AND REGARDS,
BUD VARNER
SALES DEPARTMENT
This post is:

2 comments:

  1. AMEN BROTHER, NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME ON THE INTERNETS.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you guys make me sick

    ReplyDelete

Please don't submit anything you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.

 
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