We spoke to the admin of the Fake Library Opening page

U OK hun?

| UPDATED

So, you have almost definitely noticed on your timeline recently that there’s an event circulating for the grand opening of the Emily Wilding Davidson Building on June 1st. With 176 saying they’re going and 472 interested it’s set to have a larger attendance than most SU nights this term. Just one slight problem- yesterday, the official Royal Holloway Facebook page declared it a fraud with this statement:

So, no biggie right? Just another fake event page for no real reason.

W  R  O  N  G

The fake page has fought back with this statement, calling out the verified page as the fake one in the first place (go figure):

Seriously I give up at this point

Now I get to the fun bit, because this page is no standard dead false event – it has a line-up to rival the Summer Ball, featuring such gems as:

Jamie Laing

Because he went down so well last time…

LMFAO

Apparently they plan to play Party Rock Anthem three times in a row, because you know, we haven’t suffered enough with the sounds of construction works already.

Akon’s Younger Brother: BU

I genuinely googled this in the name of serious journalism and Akon does indeed have a younger brother who goes by the name BU. Well played..  No word on whether or not he’s going to play his older bro’s back catalogue or his own material though.

By this point the page is a gift that keeps on giving, and probably the greatest thing I have seen this term. I did contact the page for a statement, and the aptly named ‘Library Thug’ responded “I am hosting the best library opening of all time. It’s going to be huge. The library opening Royal Holloway deserves to see. Guest including; Jamie Laing, Billy Ray Cyrus, Akon’s younger brother Bu, Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Foster, LMFAO, and more. I am also the founder of the yearly ‘Pet a Jellyfish at Royal Holloway Student Union’, which got over 1000 people interested. It was an event spin off the ‘Puppy therapy’. I see myself as the Banksy of fake events. Some people say I have too much time on my hands. But what are you supposed to do when you’re in the library and drowning in deadlines?

Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I make fake events. Everyone has a talent.”

But I’d like to thank the creators of the event for giving us all the greatest piece of fake news I have ever seen and I’ll see you all on 1st June.
https://thetab.com/uk/rhul/2017/05/17/hell-going-fake-library-event-12307
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