User:Yahoobox/WikiLeaks

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“Could become as important a journalistic tool as the Freedom of Information Act. So not very important at all, actually.”

WikiLeaks is a lulz-profit media machine dedicated to trolling governments by telling the public things they shouldn't know and don't care about. They provide anonymous [1] a secure way to troll people in high places. With this constant leaking of things that you shouldn't know but don't care about, they keep the government on its toes. [2]

edit What is WikiLeaks?

Since 2007, when they were originally launched[3], they have been dedicating to trolling the government and other big organizations. They are even making all new technology for this purpose. WikiLeaks has triumphed over everyone, from lawyers to Scientologists, to provide You the lulz that you so crave in relation to world governments. [4]They justify their trolling by the United Nations' Universal Declaration of Human Rights. [5]

edit How WikiLeaks works

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WikiLeaks is founded on anonymous reports, that they verify with tried and true journalistic analysis [citation needed]. They don't censor their news, but they do postpone a report if it is not lulzy enough at the time. They also have a network of paid monkeys is suits to throw their defecation at anyone who dares challenge their First Amendment- er, Universal Declaration of Human Rights.


edit Why they believe they are important

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Publishing things that the governments and other big corporations don't want published increases how foolish they look to the little people. Think of WikiLeaks as the Robin Hoods of information. They steal from the rich information, and give it to the poor for lulz. They also sometimes give old news already published by non-troll sources, but don't worry, they're still pretty sure it embarrasses the big people anyway. [citation needed] Using modern rthechnology [sic] and a panel of our aforesaid monkeys in suits, they verify the truth of the stories, at the very least, the truthiness of the reports. They may still make a lot of mistakes, but so far, they haven't caught any of them. Which is good(?).

edit Vs. $cientology

South Park 0912 Xenu

The secrecy employed before the big Wikileaks break.

Chanology Wikileaks has successfully exposed $cientology's top-secret bibles.[6] However, because it was fiction, the Church of Scientology claimed copyright. This did absolutely nothing to get the documents off of the site, as a history of ignoring copyright law is something Anonymous is known for. [7]


edit Julian Assange

Julian

Julian Assange is the dashing [8] crusader of truth, leading WikiLeaks. He is Australian, but he has the American spirit of trolling. And be assured, he totally isn't a sex offender. That's just what They want you to think! The Man is out to get him! Out to get us all! [9] Anyway, rights to his autobiography (thus called 'Julian: Crusader of Truth')[10] was bought for about $2,000,000. And yes, that is an unbelievable amount of money. That's $5,000,000 less than Bush's advance for his book, and Julian is being swindled. [11]


edit References

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Yahoobox/WikiLeaks.
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  1. Both upper and lower case "a", incidentally.
  2. Or at the very least, slightly annoyed.
  3. Though they've been having this on the planning board since November 5th 1605.
  4. You do crave it, right?
  5. This is more sophisticated version of claiming First Amendment Rights justifies your rude behavior.
  6. In the sense that the Necronomicon is a bible.
  7. Ahoy, mateys, they be pirates. Arr.
  8. Just look at him! No, it doesn't matter if you happen to be attracted to women.
  9. Behind you.
  10. Or "The Gospel of Julian Assange', which would be more humble.
  11. Show your support by initiating The Plan. You know the one. Oh, and be aware that the glue has been subbed out for tape, and our servers are in Christmas Island instead of Switzerland as of now.
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