smegyeahreddwarf:

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Lister, David
Captain&rsquo;s Comments:&nbsp;Has requested sick leave due to diarrhoea on no less than 900 occasions. Left his previous job as a supermarket trolley attendant after ten years to avoid being tied down to a career. Promotion prospects - zero.
As one might have expected from the infant Lister, he was not so much &lsquo;born&rsquo; as &lsquo;found&rsquo;.
He was discovered in a cardboard box beneath a pool table in the Aigburth Arms public house, Liverpool at approximately six weeks of age.
(Read more of the &lsquo;Captain&rsquo;s Comments&rsquo; here.)

His finding parents ignored the instructions written on the box that the child&amp;#8217;s name was Our Rob or Ross and named him Dave instead.