Bereavement or Grief Counsellor in Guildford and Woking, Surrey
What is bereavement?
Sometimes referred to as grief, bereavement is a term used to describe what people experience after the loss of a loved one. Grief is the time spent adjusting to this loss.
Although it is normal to experience grief, it can have a huge impact on your life and can surface in many different ways, such as anger or numbness, depending on the person.
It is normal to have grief influence your beliefs, personality, home and work situations. It is even common for bereavement to affect your sense of reality. The grief process involves learning to accept the loss and learning how to live your life without the lost loved one.
Stages of bereavement
In dealing with grief people often experience five stages of bereavement. You may find only some of these stages apply to you, that you experience a few at the same time, or that you move back and forth between the stages at different times. It is important to remember that everyone deals with bereavement differently and that your own, unique way of dealing with grief is normal.
Denial and Isolation
This is a normal reaction to loss which often leads to denying the situation. Although temporary, it helps people survive the stressful situation as they block overwhelming emotions from surfacing and interfering with the ability to cope with the immediate crisis and the circumstances of daily life.
Over time, as people learn to accept the reality of loss and its pain, intense emotions often evolve into anger. The aggression is aimed either at the deceased person, since they are blamed for leaving, or at strangers and family members.
This stage involves feeling helpless and vulnerable. People often use words such as ‘if only’, as they try to make sense of what happened and why. This stage is characterised by obsessively thinking about ways in which the loss could have be avoided.
This stage can occur more than once in your bereavement. People experiencing grief isolate themselves, withdraw from friends, family and social events. It is absolutely normal to experience a very low mood after loss and to experience many of the various symptoms of depression, such as weight loss or gain, lack of enthusiasm and insomnia.
This is not to be confused with feeling happy or positive, but simply means that the person is ready to go on with their lives and cherish the fond memories they have of their loved one.
Acceptance may take some time, but when you find yourself in a place of acceptance, you will be able to see value in your life again.
I provide much-needed support during the difficult time of overcoming a loss. Opening up to an outsider about the loss can help with the healing process tremendously. I support individuals to work towards acceptance of the situation while still being able to function effectively in their work and family environments.
Understanding the mourning process and discussing the issues can be extremely helpful when dealing with loss.
How long does it take to overcome a loss?
It is important to understand that everybody grieves in different ways and that there is no time limit on when you will overcome your loss. I encourage people to be patient with themselves and allow the process to unfold naturally.