If the teacher calls home to complain about the child, both parents need to do ... take offense at teachers and suspect him of what he wants in this way to take revenge on a child for bad behavior?Immediately take the child?Do parents have to listen to the teacher and automatically assume that truth is on his side?Perhaps they really should listen to the words of the teacher.So, if your child's teacher is calling you home to report that your son (or daughter) and hurt other children misbehaving, do not rush to hang up.
Psychologists recommend parents whose child might be a bully, pay attention to the following signs of aggressive behavior: uncontrolled outbreak of rage and anger, discipline problems, lack of tolerance and total rejection of another point of view, rudeness, cruelty expression (for example, in graphic or writtenform), cruelty to animals, and a weak or helpless beings, destruction and broken things.These are just some of the manifestations of aggressive behavior.
But threats towards teachers - this is a serious reason to pay attention to the behavior of the child, because they can lead to expulsion from school.Thus, only in the United States subject to threats and bullying children have 1.3 million teachers.This is a serious problem that requires resolution at the state level.According to some reports, in Canada, victims of aggressive behavior of pupils are more than 40% of teachers.In Finland, intimidation and abuse by children and their parents subjected every fifth teacher and every third school director.In the UK, about 61% of secondary school teachers at least once heard from students threats and insults in his address, while 34% were subjected to "physical aggression".You agree that parents should not dismiss heard allegations that their child behaves aggressively.
Four steps to address the problem
Monitor viewing child television programs in which there is violence, websites.And do not forget about computer games
There is direct evidence that regular contact with cruelty, such as watching a video or computer games, makes a person insensitive to painothers.When the children for a long time playing various "shooter", the following can happen:
- Increased propensity to cruelty;
- Increased conflict and a willingness to open confrontation with peers and adults, including teachers;
- A desire to experience the reality of its power to other children;
- deteriorating school performance;
- are prone to aggressive behavior, as in computer games constantly repeated acts of violence, and the child is produced for them a kind of habit.As you know, repetition - one of the most effective methods of approval mental schemes.
interactive nature of computer games stimulate more aggression, as a child is an active participant in the events in the virtual world (while while watching TV programs or movies, he is a passive spectator and can not influence the course of events).In addition, the player's task - to win, but on the way to victory, to go to the next level, he will have to make a lot of violent acts.
Improve your parenting techniques
most often bullies are themselves victims of violence and aggression of others, so for their own aggression is the only way of self-affirmation.In most cases, the source of the aggression is the family.Did you or other family members, too hard and cruel to the child?Perhaps you have been criticized all his actions and deeds?You use physical punishment to education?Or the child is not a victim but a witness to domestic violence?How often do in your home, loud quarrels and scandals with abuse and physical abuse?Often we are so accustomed to abnormal things that cease to notice them.Therefore, it is possible that the child's behavior correction to start with the correction methods of education.
How do you control a child?Do you know what he does in his spare time?Perhaps it is too much time for one or a computer.As a rule, children without parental care often get into trouble in the period from three to six o'clock in the afternoon, when they come home from school, and parents have not returned to work.Try to limit your child's free time, load it with additional chores and responsibilities (for example, write it down in a circle or section).Also, try to spend more time with the child, and often invites his friends and acquaintances that his company has been on your mind.
Cooperate with the school, but do not fight with her
spend more time in school and meet not only teachers, but also the director and head teachers.Discuss with them the problems (if any) and ask for help.Parents should understand that aggressive behavior can enter a child into the habit, and then the consequences will be very sad.Collaborate with teachers and principals better than to fight with them and blame each other for the one who "overlooked".This point is particularly important, because the family and the school must come together to have a child is not left loopholes.In addition, teachers have experience in dealing with such situations.
No one is immune from the fact that his child can become a bully and a bully.Parents should strive to prepare your child for the difficulties of adult life, to justice, not to protect and to shield it.Fenced child from the consequences of bad behavior, you cultivate it permissiveness that in the future may lead to serious problems.