Why did you take so long to get home last night?
On my home from work, I decided that I should go by the grocery store to pick up some water, cheese and other groceries for breakfast. As I was getting off of the freeway I saw something out of the corner of my eye running across the sidewalk. When I stopped at the traffic light, I was able to see that there was a puppy that appeared to be lost and wandering around. I was a hurry but the pup seemed really cold and shivering. I saw that it was going into a nearby parking lot that was on my way so I pulled over. I got out of my car and carefully walked up to the puppy to see if it had a tag or any identification. Suddenly, I saw a shadow pass behind me and someone grabbed me from behind and tried to wrestle my keys away from me.
Too bad for him, he didn't realize that I'm a UFC champion. Lucky for him,  he only ended up with a missing tooth. It took a while for the police to show up so that's why I was late.
Porque demoraste tanto a chegar a casa ontem à noite?
Quando cheguei em casa do trabalho, decidi que deveria ir ao supermercado para comprar água, queijo e outros produtos para o café da manhã. Quando eu estava saindo da rodovia, vi algo do canto do olho correndo pela calçada. Quando parei no semáforo, pude ver que havia um cachorro que parecia estar perdido e vagando. Eu estava com pressa, mas o cachorro parecia muito frio e tremendo. Eu vi que ele estava entrando em um estacionamento próximo que estava em meu caminho, então eu parei. Eu saí do carro e caminhei cuidadosamente até o cachorro para ver se ele tinha uma tag ou qualquer identificação. De repente, eu vi uma sombra passar por trás de mim e alguém me agarrou de trás e tentou tirar minhas chaves de mim.