Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.
These are the traditional wedding vows read at any marriage ceremony. Husband makes vow to wife and vice versa but in my opinion think that people don’t take these vows seriously because the vows were not written personally by the couple. Chances are that it is easier to forget them when things go rough. I think couples should take time to think about the reasons why they wish to be married and what they are willing to bring to the table and then write their personal vows to each other and read it on the day of the wedding in the presence of the congregation, and after the wedding they can frame the vow in their bedroom to have as a reminder of what was promised to each other on the day of the wedding.
For instance, if you tell someone to quit a bad habit, chances are that they will agree to quit but usually may not take it seriously just because someone else asked them to do it. So in order to get the person off their backs, they say they will quit but they honestly wouldn’t. But when that same person wakes up one day and decides to quit a habit, they usually will follow through with it (not without some struggles though).
The same principles can be applied to marriages. A priest/pastor/court tells the couple to say the vow and the couple do, probably with the intention of keeping to it or not. Soon after, things go sour and the first thing anyone thinks of is leaving the marriage without first taking time to think about the vows made and the possibility of saving the marriage. Whereas if they have their personal vows on the wall as a reminder, instead of just jumping ship, there’s a conscious reminder of the need to make the marriage work against all odds.
I advise would-be couples to take some time to write a personal vow and type it out before the day of the wedding and then keep it in a safe place afterwards. This might help to curb the rapid rate at which relationships and marriages are breaking down.