Instruct: Classify Amazon reviews into positive or negative sentiment
Query: Better than a sharp stick in the eye, but it's a tough call.

Near Death (Joe Castro, 2004)The funniest scene in Near Death occurs slightly less than an hour into it. One of the characters has found a xeroxed photograph on the beach. It turns out to have been an autographed picture from 1947. Now, putting aside the fact the photocopiers didn't exist in 1947, it somehow didn't disintegrate after being in the sand for almost sixty years. This sort of attention to detail permeates the movie.Near Death is one of the most godawfully stupid movies I have ever seen. The acting is atrocious, the lighting is nonexistent, the gore effects are entirely unconvincing (blood in this movie looks like water dyed with red food coloring; no viscosity whatsoever), the direction is nonexistent. These are eighty-four minutes you will never get back. It gets half a star because it's not patently offensive, but trust me, this is not a movie you ever want to subject yourself to. (half)