and dumbed down, with a sprinkling of gratuitous sex
929752
History accelerated, oversimplified, and dumbed down, with a sprinkling of gratuitous sex. Still was entertained for the eternity it took to get through. Hence, the 3 stars.
3981166
This book has the issue that many pornos have; it tries to straddle the lines between broad appeal and niche, porn and story, and ends up doing a bad job at all of them. I somewhat enjoyed the milking scene, but it was overall too short and not sexualized enough - and yes, this book is supposed to be the written equivalent of porn, and its purpose, first and foremost, unlike most stories, is to get our jollies off. Instead, it is softcore porn, but without even images of flesh to compensate for its lack of quality.

The plot, the action, the characters, and the world - all are flat and lifeless, and the story might have been worthy if anyone of them were decent.

The plot - our heroine, Justice Girl has heard of kidnappings, and investigates. The girls are being milked like cows. When she tries to rescue them, she finds the villains have a trap planned -specifically- for her. The operation is controlled by a villainess called Milk Maid who can induce lactation, and gains powers through drinking a heroes lactation. Several months of rape and milking are glossed over, and the operation is being moved for whatever reason. The minions underestimate her, and the Boss is out, so she is able to beat her captors and call for aid. She ends the story with an ironic "how lucky am I?"

The plot depends on the stupidity of both protagonists and antagonists, as well as on contrivances that make no sense.

The action, both violence and sexual, are bland, simple, and unimaginative, or just done off screen

The characters are mainly Justice Girl (no real name) & Milk Maid (no real name). They are really the only named characters with lines [a few names are thrown out as off scene tertiary pro- and antagonists], and both characters are as 2 dimensional as the post-it-note, singular, that their character were drafted on

Lastly, the world is the most developed, and probably half the novella is devoted to exposition about things we don't even need for the purpose of this story. This isn't surprising, considering this is a shared world with various online comics. Basically there are mostly female heroines, somehow powered through milk and big breasts, and despite mostly being involved in sex scandals and being humiliated. There's some other tidbits, but frankly nothing interesting, informative, or important

There is no legitimate reason I can think of to actually purchase and read this book, and instead one should either read a much better work, for free, online, or find a similarly themed 3d-poser comic from this world, which will actually give you both a better world view, and something to actually fap about
3201174
There was no world building, the characters were two dimensional and the language/dialogue was uninspired at it's best (ridiculous at it's worst). The authour claims that there was no cheating, and yet, there was. There was the intent to deceive and no real problem solving, just hormones and a weak excuse for romance.
2238819
A bit thin and stupid.  The sex could be more subtle.... too graphic for my taste.  They do blow up a lot of things and people ..... that is mildly entertaining.  And it does supply paychecks for a bunch of blacks.
677529
McCarrey uses an interesting format reproducing a file. There is gratuitous sex which degrades the novel for me
1570515
When an employer hits on an employee, with inappropriate sexual innuendos and demands to know about her sex life, it's called sexual harassment. Even in 2001 when this book was written. When the employer is 41 and she is 26, it's downright creepy. So what if he is gorgeous male blah blah blah, it's still a scary freaky boss bullying her on the job as well as in her private life.

The inevitable rutting in a hotel room was almost as if the author was somewhere else when she wrote this flat-liner, barely two paragraphs of unsentimental mating. Not sure how reviewers perceive this as hot and steamy. At this point, h is being shagged by boss who thinks she is having it off with married colleague and about to break up another marriage. Wince worthy embarrassing concept of romance.

The more I read brain-dead Tory putting up with adulterous, slob of a work colleague trashing her home week after week because his married lover's husband is in town at the moment - well! color me brain dead too at such stupidity. And what was the point of pathetic, spineless ex-fiance and his troubled wife in their 30 seconds of fame in this story?

There is no HEA. Just inane dithering sniping right to the last page, seriously. With a kind of a plan to live together and eventually get married. There's about as much love in empty beer bottles and smelly sneakers than this novel.
862062
I'm giving this a hesitating 3 stars. I think the hero in this story is a mysogenistic dick. The whole book. He shows no sympathy, no compassion and why the hell this woman would fall for him, is so idiotic and stupid. And the end...she finally gives in? Why would she - he's abandoned her, accused her of being a whore, embarrassed her, semi raped her and what, she can't control herself because of his amber eyes? Oh for hell that was stupid. This is not worth a penny. Go read Julie Garwood isntead. She knows how to make heros be kinda of dumb lumps that eventually realize they'd be lucky to have this woman.
2942983
(2.5 stars for the disappointment of it all.)  If I hadn't read Danker's and others' reviews I would have given up on this at 40% and got on with the rest of my life.  But my interest was piqued:  It was going to improve.  Oh, good.  My pre-order $3.79 was not going to waste.

This starts out dismally.  Like one of the worst of the HRs of the 1990s.  Heroine, for irrational reasons, exposes herself to possible ruin at a ball.  Hero saves her from ruin at the hands of one man, only to compromise her stupidly himself.  He "nobly" does the right thing and offers for her.  She of course refuses.

But, yes, this does improve at about 65%.  I like the fact that these two, who have many strikes against their success as a couple, manage to talk reasonably and rationally and come to an understanding of what to expect of each other and their relationship.  I also like that, although there is an apparent irrational lust/love at first sight/kiss, especially on the part of the hero, he manages to control his libido well, and the one and only sexual relations scene in the book is at the behest of the heroine.

In other words, at 65%, the H and h start to become rational, intelligent, thoughtful people who manage to work out their problems and trust issues with realistic conversations.  Some reviewers have described this book as having "sparkling" dialogue.  It didn't sparkle to me as much as it entertained and reassured and let us know that they realize there's more to a relationship than sex.

Oh, one interesting thing I noted in this.  Guhrke takes the opportunity here to work in a paragraph or two that try to justify one action of hero Stuart of the previous book,&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/How-to-Lose-a-Duke-in-Ten-Days-An-American-Heiress-in-London/dp/B00G97C51K/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">How to Lose a Duke in Ten Days: An American Heiress in London</a>.  Those who read that one may remember some readers' complaint about Stuart's treks to Paris whenever he felt the need for sex during his long stay in Africa.  The implication here in this new book is that the jaunt to Paris was more for a get-together with all his buddies. (Jack, the hero of this book, having a flat in Paris that they all gathered at once a year.) A sort-of exculpatory for the off-hand comments in TEN DAYS about sex and syphilis?

And then there are the muffins.  All right, it was thoughtful of Jack to think of them for a picnic, but so much talk about British vs American muffins makes me think that Guhrke perhaps once upon a time messed up about muffins in one of her other books and is now wanting us to know that she knows the difference between the Old World variety and the New World variety.

But that's neither here nor there.  The book's OK in places but not really very interesting.  Guhrke can write, especially dialogue.  She usually does romantic feelings well (although here not so much).  But this is not her best work.  I don't see myself ever rereading it.  Just thinking about having to read that first two thirds again fills me with dread.
1550917
What a mess.

Okay, we have to admit to the anachronistic tendencies of Harlequins to place an intact hymen as THE golden prize indeed. Occasionally, hypocritical rakes will shake a ...finger... at the anti-virgins, but they are a rarity. They usually rely on a third party or the h's guilty conscience.

Here we have an ex-rake on the prowl for a Donna Reed virgin. The H thinks he has found her when he visits the charming English estate he just bought. He meets the curvy, 50s vintage-wearing, baking, must-be-a-virgin h of the estate. Her vapid and selfish step-mum has sold the estate unbeknownst to her. I think the estate may have even belonged to the h's maternal line as did the priceless pearls the step-mum scarpers off with. Have any of these idiots EVER heard of an attorney? Pul-leeze, I think the British courts would have something to say about the inheritance even without a will.

Cutting to the chase, the H with significant mommy issues is bamboozled by the h's domestic ways, and reluctantly proposes. The h is equally bamboozled sexually plus she wants to help her little brother get into art school.

SPOILER:
The H equates aprons and baking with virginity. When his nubile bride is much more enthusiastic than he anticipated for a first time event, he asks if she was a virgin. Nope. She was engaged once before and her fiancee broke it off two days before the ceremony. The H goes into a cruel, betrayed spiral of epic and hypocritical proportions rarely seen in HarleyLand in this millennium. The h continues to have sex with him 'cause who wouldn't until the mommy issues rear their head and she beats feet. He is cruel, condescending and cruel. Yes, "cruel" bears repeating. Yes, the H is a total, hypocritical BIG FAT JERK, but the h does imply certain things. I have my doubts that part of the H's appeal is the emotional and physical protection his wealth provides. She's not a gold-digger, but his wealth does make her and her brother's life easier.

Finally taking the high road, the h leaves for England and refuses all financial support that the H JUST KNOWS is why she married him.

He does a light grovel dance. I will admit she does question him about his motives, but as well know a mild grovel is NEVER, NEVER, NEVER enough.
579219
This movie was much raunchier than I expected. We had a few good laughs, but we're often cringing with the over the top inappropriateness. Terrence Howard's storyline was the highlight of the movie, it should have ended there. Instead they chose to leave you with a ridiculously stupid story that ruined possibly a good ending.
4790962
The author of Jitterbug Perfume certainly has a knack for sexual metaphor you gotta admire that; but the rest is, uh, uninventive. The surreal, wacky, 'magical' novel coupled w/ underlying themes of destiny and purpose has long been the forte of greater - more subtle - writers, and, I think, it eludes him here. Robbins is an unedited, cloyingly witty, Vonnegut or a Henderson bellow maybe; embellished magical-realism stitched together by horny one liners. If there is anything clever and original in the story it is completely washed-out by the sheer volume of double-entendres, allusions, puns and in general, the too long, leisurely descriptive, erotic bits. Really, flip to any random page in the book, there's probably something concerning a bouncy, luscious, sex act. He's like a really dirty Oscar Wilde; he's generously quotable - if you care to quote raunchy and pervy.
1445522
The book had 1910 locations on my kindle. The book was about a girl, named Jemima and a man, named Nicholas. Jemima was virginal 20 year old girl, who liked to read smutty  books. Nicholas was a rakish Marquis. Jemima's grandfather died and left her in the custody of Nicholas. The book contained a shaving scene, drugging, some sex play, sex, oral sex, anal sex play and several spankings with hands, hairbrushes and a cane. The book contained  one minor F/F sexual interaction, against our heroine's wishes. The book also contained a bit of age play, such as wearing little girl dresses and a nursery. I wasn't too thrilled with the Nicholas character. One moment, he is playing his little sexual games with Jemima, letting his friend, spank her, and the next, totally out of the blue, he suddenly decides, she will be his little girl. Overall, I was not very impressed with this  book.
4196389
The sequel to Dead Wrong, this book is less about any plot or suspense and more about the ridiculous romance between the chief of police and the main character of the book who just happens to be the main suspect in the first murder. The moment she is cleared of any wrong doing, the hormones kick into high gear and it is clear that this book is about sex and less about any crimes. In fact, the chief is so hot and bothered with this gal that by chapter five he is looking her up and down like a dog eying a piece of meat. By page 86, of the book he even finds her feet in flip flops attractive for crying out loud. Of course Mariah Stewart tries to convince you that there is actually some thrill or suspense in this mess, but it fails miserably. By page 263 the chief and the main character are ready to romp in the sack. Interrupted by the inconvenience of what should be the main focus of the book, a crazed murderer, they try again by page 354 and nearly turn this book into soft core porn but again we just barely spared the disgusting ending. Thankfully Stewart spares us the gory details when they head off to bed by page 370. You know who the murderer is from the opening moments of this hideous book and there is so little detail or characterization to him that he hardly seems believable. Again it's all about the sex. Its obvious that this is a romance book with a light attempt to be something else. Put this down and go read a real book....
913236
Um, yuck! I have had this on my TBR list for a long time, and, yeah, it's off.

Premise is the H married the h in a pity marriage as she had been dumped on Sicilian, nope, Sardinian relatives as both her parents were rotten. It was an unconsummated marriage as she was 16. She, of course, adored his big hunky alpha Romero self. She sees him in a clinch with a blonde and leaves.

She's now 21 and something's hitting the fan. For reasons too stupid and convoluted to get into, he blackmails her into a real marriage thinking she's a floozy of the highest order. He buys every bad notion about her despite knowing her since she was 12. The transition from caring and sweetly over-protective H is what details the story.

I felt sorry for her, and he is unworthy of being a LG hero. I would like to think that the from heroes from The Spanish Groom, The Petrakos Bride, The Italian's Inexperienced Mistress, The Ruthless Magnate's Virgin Mistress and A Rich Man's Whim took this H behind the woodshed and taught him a lesson aka the whupping of his life.
805109
This should have been a cute little romp, and it was for the most part. A veritable salad of tropes: long-term (10 years) unrequited on both sides tossed with hero's yen forbidden fruit of his BF's little sister, a little makeover madness, and insanely disapproving parents.

It was ruined for me by the OTT judgmental actions of the H when he finds the h sashaying her rear at a honky tonk. Further spoiled by the jerky actions of her parents when they shunned the H, a man they took in as a surrogate son, because he didn't tattle on her about her changing her lifestyle.
4896274
Very dumbed-down.  Nice looking clothes, mansions, and landscapes.
4952211
Forty-somethings with homes, children, husbands, jobs-- but yet, one is unable to stand up to cheating her pea-brain "best friend" and the pea brain is too busy satisfying her shallow needs to notice.  You'd think that when a grown woman, mother, and wife turns 40, she'd have some backbone, but this book is too busy being "cute" and dropping New York-brand names to get a spine. I'm amazed that a so-called "friend" would play the beard to her cheating buddy. That's just gross.  Wait a minute-- Jess (or is it Terri Hatcher of Desperate Housewives?) marries, divorces, adopts a kid (??), and is doing her ex-husband after 10-years-plus-one hour? Wow- what a role model.

Yuk. This book turned me off-- and I'm a liberal from California.

I was hoping that with women aged 40+ I'd escape the teen-chick-lit genre and find a bit more depth. Wrong.