Indispensible Book for Men Wary of Feminist Status Quo
923624
The pioneering work of Rich Zubaty, What Men Know That Women Don't, debunks the baselessness of, and hysteria behind, feminist ideology, and provides stunning evidence that we live in a matriarchy, not a patriarchy - where women's ideas, perceptions  and methodologies prevail. It examines the vast differences between men and women through their physiological, psychological and social dimensions - and does it in a refreshingly humorous way. Above all, it provides a close look at who benefits from feminism. (Women is it? Think again.) This is the THE book for men of all age groups and all backgrounds.

The latter half of the last century taught us to forget we're men, and the last couple of decades to be downright ashamed of it. Watch a TV show, a political discussion or open up a newspaper. Men at best just don't exist. At worst they're monsters that children and women should steer away from. Indeed, men themselves are being manipulated every day by the media to look down and frown upon other men. And it's been working. Men themselves have bought into these hate-fuelled lies of feminism. But things are now changing. There is now also a growing number of men questioning these lies. And this classic book has helped trailblaze the way out of the jungle of female deceptions and distortions.
204985
I cannot express enough how much I appreciate the perspective of this book.
After reading so much about feminism and gender in the last year, it was interesting to read a book that looks at things this way. The author does not argue that white, heterosexual, cis-men are not more privileged or successful than the rest of us in general. In fact, he uses this very thing to lay out his point. They more privileged, he even uses the word spoiled in relation to their experience with relationships. This book focuses on the effects of this privilege, their subsequent spoiling, and the indoctrination of independence as we know it in the US. It was interesting to follow him down this path and see where it is heading and that it is predominantly heading there for these men.

The possible solutions that he encourages men to practice are not difficult or strenuous, though they do have barriers. He encourages behaviors that are largely associated with women and with femininity, but that are still found in men of other cultures to a lesser degree than women in general. He suggests that white, America, heterosexual cis-men are simply not taking caring of this particular need because they are focused on other ones and that society plays a key role in encouraging them to take on this damaging behavior.

As I read through it, I found myself agreeing overwhelming with his concept. It was rather fascinating. The conclusion includes a disclaimer that seems to ask the reader to shy away from creating a stereotype within this. All people are susceptible to this problem when taking this road, it's just a road that is overwhelmingly populated by a specific kind of man. He doesn't ask for pity or anything of that nature either. These are men who dug their way into this mess and he encourages them to take the steps to start to dig out. When they are isolated and lonely, there's no one around to help. They have to start to find people around them in little ways. The little ways lead to big ones. What's a little awkwardness on the road to relationships?

While not about romantic relationships specifically, as most of the rest of my March reading and posts were, this book focuses on friendships. It focuses on the way the push for success can isolate people when they aren't paying attention to it. Friendship is an important relationship that we have. Community is an important part of our lives. I like this spent time on considering the men we push our boys to be. Work success shouldn't define their lives any more than beauty should define the lives of women and girls.
I was heartbroken to read that most men in retirement homes talk about who they were, as if the lack of a job or career change who you are.

It was a very enlightening read and definite fuel for the idea that we should be encouraging our boys and men to be more than their jobs.
3849011
A fun book with illustrations detailing all the ways to be a man.

Catherman gives plenty of ideas and how-tos to get you in the swing of things. By reading this book you'll learn how to manage a credit card, wear the correct amount of cologne,  plan a date, wear a tie, cook a steak, change a tire, and so much more.

Pretty much anything you'd assume a guy needs to know is in this book. It feels like Catherman took the articles out of GQ and Esquire magazines, freshened them up, edited them for integrity's sake, not to mention decency and plopped them into a book.

Young men will get a kick out of reading this. Older men may read it and reminisce of how things used to be. Ladies may read it and wonder to their boyfriends "Now why can't you start doing this?"

In any event, it is not a sexist thing. Please, oh please, may I not read reviews critical of that.

Read this book for fun and the selected insights provided.

This book was provided for review, at no cost, by Revell Publishing.
1369502
As a 23 year old man, this book has radically changed by actions and my thinking. I not only want to be a man that stands physically, but also a man that stands mentally. Defending the Feminine Heart has helped me begin the process of changing my thoughts and actions to glorify Jesus and in the same time, protect and defend the women I come in contact with daily. This book is for single men, fathers, mothers, sisters and daughters. For pastors, believers, unbelievers, baptists, catholic, it doesn't matter. If you have women in your life, this book is for you. Or women, if you want to hear the heart of a man and also insight from Jeff's wife, Lori on how to stand as a woman, then this book is also for you.
4815206
Unlike Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady," most books on men's issues seem to be asking, "Why can't a man to be more like a woman?" Well, instead of the usual male-bashing or female-bashing, Dr.  Farrell forces us to examine the problems in a rational manner and tries to  find workable solutions. Finally, there's a writer who actually does get  it. We *are* different. "Fair" and "equal" doesn't have  to mean "same" and "identical." We are biologically and  physiologically different, so what makes us think we must act, think and  behave the same way?
Culturally, it's a sign of strength for women to  express their feelings, but a sign of weakness for men to do so. Men are  not very likely to expose their feelings and insecurities if they feel it  may damage their career or marriage prospects. Men feel misunderstood, and  women complain that men don't express their feelings. Women can't hear what  men don't say. The first half of the book is devoted to bridging that  gender gap. Dr. Farrell gives us a few exercises to develop the better  communication and relationship skills. He does it in a positive,  constructive and nonjudgmental way. He gives us hope that we might actually  be able to work out our differences with the opposite sex - one person at a  time.
The last half of the book examines some of the myths surrounding  male power, male violence, and female victimhood. In doing so, Dr. Farrell  is *not* saying that women do not have legitimate concerns. Instead, he is  trying to point out that some of their assumptions are based on faulty  research and anecdotal evidence. While temporary affirmative action may be  necessary to level the playing field, institutionalized favoritism hurts  everyone. While women feel that not enough is done about breast cancer, we  spend far more on breast cancer research than on prostate cancer research.  In fact, more men than women will die prematurely from cancer, heart  disease, or AIDS. More males than females will be victims of violent  crimes. More boys than girls will suffer from learning disabilities. More  divorce courts will favor mothers over fathers in child custody cases. More  employers will allow "family leave" for women than for men.  Although these may not seem like women's issues, they *are* the major  reasons why women have a higher absenteeism at work than men, which, in  turn, lessens their chances for career advancement.
I strongly recommend  this book for everyone - male or female.
646521
First, a disclaimer: As President of the National Coalition of Ministries to Men I've known the author for many years and have also a written an endorsement appearing in this book.  Having said that, I'm delighted to add this review as well because Man Alive is an important tool for men to use as they evaluate their own lives and as they lead others to do the same.

Pat Morley rightly observes that "most men know only enough about God to be disappointed with Him." This book is an invitation for men to rediscover a God who wants to satisfy what Morley refers to as the "seven primal needs" of men. These are: to know we are not alone; to know that God cares for us personally; to believe there's a purpose for our lives; to break free from destructive behavior; to satisfy our thirst for awe; to love without reservation; and, to make a the world a better place. Each primal need is discussed in compelling and practical ways, combining story with biblical truth in an easy to read and almost breezy style, a hallmark of Morley's writing dating back to his groundbreaking bestseller, Man in the Mirror.

While the book is written for men, it's clear that Morley's purpose in writing it is to ignite a hunger for discipleship. Borrowing from Jim Collins, Morley asserts that God's Big Holy Audacious Goal is for us to become disciples of Christ. This has been the signature call of Pat's life and ministry to men over the last thirty years. Yet, the ground he covers in exploring these seven primal needs in Man Alive is no less helpful, I think, for women to explore as well. As such, it could very well have been named "Disciple Alive" for the book's most important contribution will be to wake up the longing we should have to be better disciples of Christ.
2642493
This text provides an essential attitude adjustment from a psychological and anthropological perspective on making sense of the self defeating patterns that men and women are falling into.  The text exposes the root cause of men's debilitated self respect and frustrated actualization of personal accountability.  Once the confusion is exposed for what it is, the solutions present from ones own understanding organically if the reader is prepared to commit to reality.  Will it be the red pill or the blue pill, my friend?
2369235
After glancing through other reviews of 'Man Down' I am surprised at how polarizing people find the book, and the lengths to which they go to discredit the conclusions. Have they missed the point altogether? The front jacket cover says "Chock-full of fun facts and conversation starters, this book may not end the debate about men versus women, but it will definitely change the starting point." It's a slim volume - only 143 pages - and can be read in less than 2 hours. It is not an exhaustively researched tome with the final word on the men vs. women debate. It's just a fun, quick read that reveals some surprising evidence, frequently delivered with a tongue-in-cheek smirk.

Abrams goes on to cite 36 areas in which he has uncovered 'evidence' that women are better than men, including tolerating pain, tasting beer, gambling, investing, avoiding fraud, utilizing social media, driving, voting, giving directions, sleeping, news casting, and doctoring, among others. Much of the so-called evidence is rather anecdotal. For instance, in chapter 10 "Women Get Ready Faster Than Men", he cites a study by Superdrug, the second largest purveyor of health and beauty products in Britain. The study indicates that men spend on average 83 minutes on grooming each day, while women spend 79 minutes. My response to that is "yeah, right !"

Some of the factors on which Abrams judges women better than men are already well understood and indisputable, such as longevity, health and stamina. Women also account for more of the student population in universities. The chapter titled "Women Are Getting Better Looking Faster Than Men" is also a bit of nonsensical fluff - fun to read but highly subjective.

Abrams' closing argument is that the consistent themes throughout his book "prove that women make fewer errors and are less corruptible, more conscientious, and more effective with their time and risk-taking. Together this creates a compelling case for women." The fallacy of Abrams' argument is that he hasn't listed any of the areas in which men are superior, and always will be.

The battle of the sexes rages on, but other than adding fuel to the fire, no one will be convinced to change their position based on the slim evidence in this book. Nevertheless, it was a fun and quick read and made even more interesting by the fact that it was written by a man!
254902
WOW! Written in 1993 and still relevant!!  I have read the intro and the first chapter so far. This book is amazing and is shedding light on who I have become and who I want to be. It explains why men are they way they are! It also lets men and women alike know that men do not have to stay emotionally broken. There are genetic things that make men certain ways, but it is a myth that men are born emotionally broken!  This book also covers the positive and negative aspects of the feminist movement.  The book also states that men as a whole are going through a major cultural change! Many men are stuck between two ideologies, the new and old. a MUST READ.
3479662
I do not pretend to be an expert, or to have all the answers, but this book provides some much needed perspective on a seriously dysfunctional social trend.  As a male, I was very happy to particiapte in the sexual revloution of the 70's in college and after college.  As a brother, I have four sisters - sexually promiscuous in college and post college, all reasonably successful career women - all now in their 40's and 50's - and all but one childless (and that one twice divorced) and all miserable about their life situation - and all with low self esteem in this area.  Further, their circle of professional peers tends towards the same description.  The only good news about this is that they can't do enough for their neices and nephews - which is little compensation for the angst and despair that is a daily part of their lives - for the rest of their lives.  Crittenden captures very neatly the fact that there is really nothing as scary to a man then to take a 30-something/40-something women out to dinner and find her eying him and his life more hungrily than the food.  Crittenden says that feminism doesn't provide answers for the questions that distress young women, such as, "Is work really more important and fulfilling than raising my children?" and "Why does my boyfriend not want to get married as much as I do?" I think that modern women do not think this through nearly carefully enough.  Eastern Europe, thanks to socialism, had "equality" in 1920.  after 80 years of sex without guilt and responsibility, eastern european women seek western males in droves.  Her argument that feminist fervor has failed modern women has merit, and her suggestions for how women can recapture meaning, fulfillment and happiness are worth discussing. Because of the realities of biology - a women's choices are overwhelmingly important to her future and it is a disservce to pretend that it isn't.
2368060
Mr. Quibner has set forth a startlingly humorous work, which when reflected against our culture, is quite succinctly/splendidly thought-provoking. I was unable to read it all at once...but each time I came back to it I clearly looked forward to learning more about his outlook on what troubles contemporary men in this regard, i.e., in their interaction with women. It is even scarey in many ways, i.e., because it clearly sets forth notions that are difficult to objectively argue against, and if so, will prompt men to rethink their attitudes and behavior toward/with women. It is an original work, and though set forth in the spirit of good humor, it is difficult not to take it seriously - on many levels. Men typically do not work hard to display adequate appreciation for their mates/significant others, and this book is a funny treatise on how to go about being just that - being appreciative -- Dr. Glen Hepker
1271714
I am a feminist and I love this book. I have read it several times and flipped through it about 100 times. To me this book is more about SELF RESPECT than anything else. Living your life, keeping active, doing good work, helping a cause, etc. are things this book actually encourages. The book puts men in the proper persepctive: they are wonderful additions to our lives, NOT OUR REASON FOR LIVING!

Every woman that I have talked to about this book ends up agreeing with most of it. I too was skeptical about it...until I read it. It's the things your Mother told you...that you didn't want to hear at the time. And after going through one failed "relationship" after another finally decided that maybe Mom was right. Since reading this book I have had no problem securing the kind of relationship that is healthy for me. And for my male friend.

Men that are critical about the book are basically angry that it teaches women self respect and puts a roadblock in their way of getting a woman in bed as fast as possible. I have talked about this book with my male friends and they too agreed with alot of it, and the only one that disagreed has the reputation of being a "playa" amoungst my circle of friends. That alone speaks volumes.

The book is one of the most important books written about dating in the last 10 years and imo is still very relevant. And until the day that MEN decide to change and liberate themselves, it will remain so.
4371506
I was going to pass over this book because of the cutesy cover and title - I am NOT a self-help book fan AT ALL.  However, I peaked inside, and decided to buy.  Why? It addresses taboos like "women tend do be poor at mathematics compared to men" (yes, there are a lot of superb female scientists by sheer numbers - but NOT by ratio - why?), and cliches like "Why can't he find his shirt hanging right in the closet?"

It DOES get a bit patronizing towards men - viewed with a 90's perspective on gender.  However, this is less important than the overall message - and specific examples of behaviors that drive couples (of any gender) absolutely crazy about each other, and lead to a lot of fights ("He ignores me when he's watching TV and I ask him a question..."  "I tell him I want him to show more affection, and he fixed the leak in the faucet instead."  "My teenage son stares at the table and speaks in monosyllables when I ask how his day was.")

But I think women need to read this FAR more than men, because it's us eagle-eye women who are most often picking apart everything the men in our life say and do, looking for hidden meaning, looking for what he 'really' means his words or actions.

For anyone who has heard "we're wired differently" and wondered "but HOW?"  This does a great job of demonstrating it and not just explaining why.  And it does it without the pysco-babble BS of feel-good books that tell you you need to "communicate" more and better.

Talking more is not *always* the answer, ladies!  Read this and find out why.

I have two male friends who've read it, and both recommend it - specifically for women.  (Most women who read it find the concrete examples the authors use strikingly familiar, and the men shake their heads when the read all the things going on in women's head during a particular situation.)

PS - this also tackles the controversial issue of "brain gender" - every brain has a gender that may or may not match the body. This "brain gender" is separated into behavior (what we see externally), and orientation (how someone's brain works).  There's a fascinating test in the book related to this. If you've ever been curious how someone can "feel the wrong gender", this book may help you understand how this happens.
1864740
Well, looking over the reviews here, I see the mark of a really good book--controversy!

In Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women, the author argues that the "success penalty" for women with higher education or career success is a thing of the past. And with reams of data -- plus engaging anecdotes and advice to make these dry numbers very readable (this book is, after all, meant to reach out to a large audience) -- she makes a solid case for this good news.

It's sad but unsurprising that some won't let go of well over a generation of dated thinking. Are we to ignore the U.S. Census data that has proven that women with master's, professional and doctoral degrees are as or *more* likely to have married than other women their age with less education?

Much of the data Whelan presents in the book comprises opinions and anecdotes, and yes, that is always suspect (though rather necessary, I should imagine, to get it beyond academic libraries and into mainstream bookstores). But the 2005 US Census data is hard to dispute:  there's 75% chance that a never-married 30-year-old woman with an advanced degree will marry, compared with a 66% chance for a 30-year-old with a college degree or less. Education is a plus in the marriage dept. This is a change worth recognizing, if only to alleviate the (very real) anxieties of so many educated women.

I've already shared this book with bright 20- and 30-something friends who are rattled after hearing about one guy or another who found their friend/co-worker/classmate intimidating. Situations like that rear up all the old stereotypes and fears. (And my friends, in turn, share it with their mothers!)

We need to support this debunking research till the old myths are gone.  Once the next generation of men and women say, "Huh? Why would a guy possibly be intimidated by a successful woman?" we'll know that Whelan's book has done its job.
2870423
Jesus and the Feminists is hands down the best book I've read on the topic of womanhood for Christians, and I've read many of them, across the spectrum of opinion. Kostenberger gives a brief but illuminating history of Feminism, and graciously walks through the spectrum of Feminism in the church, from Extreme Feminism to Egalitarianism carefully addressing them from a standpoint of Scriptural authority. Thankfully she doesn't just leave us with the rejection of Extreme Feminism nor the inconsistency of Egalitarianism, as she continually calls us back to ask the question all Christians must as in regards to the person of Jesus, "who do you say that he is?" revealing the importance to submitting ourselves him and to what Scripture actually says, not what we wish it said, or what culture tells us it should say. There are many areas in which Kostenberger directly quotes notable feminist authors, and she always gives the academic benefit of the doubt, graciously disagreeing and supporting her position with reason and Scripture. I've re-read this book three times and recommend it to every young woman I know.
904673
Next time you see a man holding open a door for a girl, remember that according to feminists women/girls are one of America's most oppressed groups. They are dissed in the schools, bounced agains the glass ceiling in  business and raped, beaten, riduculed and ogled nasty by men in the  streets. Now Sommers balances the scale by showing how feminism's big lies  have become the bedrock of an unjustified war against males that begins in  the elementary school, if not earlier. Read this calm, well-reasoned book  and you will learn how society has been turned against men. How it's been  done with millions of dollars in government support for "gender  education" materials and how real lies and false, unsubstantiated  statistics have been used to justify attacks on any and every manifestation  of malesness whenever and wherever found. Everyone should read this book  just to learn how persistence in lying can create an aura of truth. In  short, real statistics show that men are not nearly as bad as the feminists  paint them. In fact, little boys and young men are even more in need of help  when it comes to self-esteem etc. in school than girls. The real statistics  will, well, shock you.
4259723
One endorsement of The Boy Crisis claims that is the most important book of the 21st century. I would amend that to most necessary book. Encyclopedic as it feelsalmost 500 pagesit could have been four or five books, given the wealth and variety of its topics. While aimed at parents, particularly fathers, as they assist struggling young men to find healthy purpose and true male success in life, reading it causes me to reflect on my life as a man. For some women it may be a tough read, given that it incisively challenges many of the near dogmatic assumptions of what is wrong with men by offering well-researched alternative perspectives.

There are two distortions in the male narrative that challenge us, the distant or absent dad in contemporary societies and the anachronistic sacrificial disposability of men in the gender meta-narrative. Both need be questioned and countered. Farrell and Gray do exactly that.

From the fathering perspective, the demands of work life and familial support all but eliminate meaningful presence in parenting for many men, while divorce, on the increase as women find self-sufficiency, may exclude them entirely.

When it comes to real combat, men don't count, except for a few heroes, living or dead, who  sanctify the sacrificial offerings of the rest. Daily news reports from war zones count women and children dead and mutilated, leaving men to lie among the numberless casualties or be identified the bad guys who killed them. In popular media the killing of men is part of everyday entertainment and causes little concern. The traditional male hero is about self-sacrifice, not self-actualization. The battlefield and the workplace often function alike in this respect.

Though the womens movement is rightfully empowering women to resist abuse and find rewarding and satisfying roles in life, there is little effort to allow men to follow the glint in their eye, to evade or redefine the stock, stereotypical roles of protector and provider. It is time for men to say their own, Me too. One hopes that the coming generation, now seemingly destined as micro-entrepreneurs, will have greater freedom to do so, but a new outcome does not depend solely on messing with the constraints of capitalism and commodification, but also on redefining the traditional male sense of purpose and adopting a life style that flows from it and supports it.

The book is replete with parental insights and suggested practices that begin to provide for this shift to a broader sense of purpose. This should not echo the veterinary sense of fixing men, but is about opening paths of opportunity for richer, more satisfying and, yes, heroic roles in male creativity, relationship formation and parenting. A good part of this is identifying and countering the social bribes, the pay-offs which deviate men from discovering their richer purpose offering a false currency of acknowledgement for outdated and too often tragic role performances.

Almost the last third of the book is focused on mental health issues most specifically on ADHD and its causes, effects and alternative remedies. I was hoping for OCD as well but was disappointed in this respect. Much wants more.

The pages are extremely well written, often with memorable lines in bold print. A few examples:
 Time trumps dime  valuing a fathers time with family, not just his earnings.
 We are inclined to Save the whales but not save the males.
 The shifting economy, from muscle to microchip.

The endnotes are abundant and supportive of the content, which will no doubt be contested as it frequently contradicts commonly accepted assumptions about men, their behavior and their highly touted privilege.

In sum, thanks guys!