Forgiveness vs retaliation
929076
This book would make a good Bible study on the topic of forgiveness.  That is how I plan to use it.  I live in an area of high Amish population and have some friends who are no longer Amish; so this incident gets frequent discussion.
3353949
Celestin Musekura and L. Gregory Jones are talented scholars, excellent communicators, and committed Christians.  They have thought deeply about forgiveness, and have translated their thoughts in to action--Jones working as a pastor and as dean of Duke Divinity School; Musekura though his work with ALARM, an organization dedicated to equipping all interested persons in the skills necessary to achieve reconciliation and forgiveness within broken communities.  I was privileged to hear Musekura many years ago while in seminary, and I have read selections from Jones's other scholarly works.  Both admit they are an unlikely pairing, and both admit that this was a tremendous advantage in the development of this work.  Here are five things that can be learned from this short, powerful book:

1. According to Musekura, forgiveness stands at the heart of the gospel, "and if we are to live lives that shine forth God's good news, we have to learn the ways of living that make for peace."  As a Rwandan, Musekura learned this lesson following the genocide that took place in his own country, and strives to teach what he has learned to others.

2. Jones warns against, "cheap forgiveness and costly despair."  Despair wells up in us when we fail to face the challenges of forgiveness in an effort to "be nice," and forgiveness is cheapened, too, when we trivialize the wrongs committed against us and attempt simply to "move on."  Wrongs must be faced, forgiveness must be offered, and the hard work of restoration must be undertaken.

3. Jones offers a model of Truth Telling, Acknowledging Anger, Concern for the Other, Remembering and Repenting, Committing to Change, and Hoping for the Future.  He takes the reader step by step through this process in a way that can be practically applied in other contexts.

4. Both Musekura and Jones center their writings on Jesus Christ--his life, his death, his resurrection, and the salvation he has accomplished.

5. Musekura exhorts his readers to "put on Christ" and to form "communities of forgiveness."  Forgiveness is both a personal and communal practice that must be learned through fellowship with Christ and his people.

This book is practical and clear, filled with testimony and strong theology.  I recommend it.
4333062
Who do you need to forgive in your life? What resentment do you continue to harbor? What walls have you put up so as not to be hurt again? Nancy Leigh DeMoss invites us to take an honest look at our lives and make the decision to forgive those who have hurt us.

DeMoss doesn't resort to simple solutions. She knows that the pain that readers may have experienced run deep. There are situations of physical and sexual abuse. There are times when loved ones have been hurt deeply or have even been taken away through murder. No, forgiveness is not easy. Nevertheless, it is what God calls us to do.

Withholding forgiveness hurts not only the person we hold in bondage but ourselves as well. "Though it may feel right, though it may seem justified, though it may appear to be the only option available to us . . . The very weapon we use to inflict pain on our offender becomes a sword turned on ourselves, doing far more damage to us - and to those who love me - than to those who have hurt us."

In addition, many have difficulty accepting God's forgiveness. "When we refuse to forgive, something is blocked in our relationship with the Father. [There is] a clear connection between our willingness to extend forgiveness to others, and our ability to appropriate and experience His forgiveness for our own sins."

DeMoss also addresses the need we feel to "make people pay." We may feel that by forgiving people, we are not holding them accountable. We are "letting them off the hook." This is not the case. "According to God's Word, wrongdoers will get their just due." Romans 12 tells us that " `Vengeance is mine. I will repay,' says the Lord." "Forgiveness releases the accused from your custody and turns him over to God . . . the one and only One who is both able and responsible for meting out justice."

DeMoss has penned a thought-provoking and insightful book. All of us can use the reminder to forgive, and the encouragement to work through the pain of our past, to wipe the slate clean. She makes the case that forgiveness is a decision, much more than a feeling. She invites us to reconsider what it means to forgive and most importantly, she calls us to forgive.
316813
One should always practice what one preaches. It takes courage to forgive, but it's worth it.
4015954
Like all people, and maybe more than some, I have always had a hard time forgiving those who have wronged me.  This book, taken from the real-life account of the author, reminded me of Who is really in charge and what I need to be doing in order to be living a Christ-centered life.  It's not easy, and I still fail regualrly, yet I appreciate the reminder and I do need reminders.  The following is an excerpt from the book that said a lot to me:

"If I allowed myself to go down the pathway of rage and retaliation, several things happen, and none of them are good.  Here are my top four:

1.  My sins will not be forgiven by God if I refuse to forgive those who sinned against me.
2.  I miss an opportunity to show God's love to an unforgiving world.
3.  I'm the one who remains in jail when I withhold God's grace by failing to forgive.
4.  If I have trouble forgiving, it might be because I'm actually angry at God, not at the person who wronged me."
2044706
This is the best book on the path of forgiveness that I've seen because it deals with why both the forgiver and the forgiven need this kind of healing.  It also has specific practice suggestions for making forgiveness happen.
1291776
How do we forgive and why should we forgive? Should the sister of a young  college age student tortured to death by his former wrestling coach and friend just because he was a Muslim forgive such a monstrous betrayal. How can such a seemingly beyond human act of forgiveness even be possible? What if we don't forgive and instead hold on to anger and thoughts of getting even? These were the questions that haunted Jeanne White Eagle Pehrson until G-d's Grace intervened by giving her, and us through this book, at least some understanding of what is perhaps The Existential Question. "Grace" can heal your life if you allow it.
2775082
He provides a useful way to understand and do forgiveness. HEAL. Forgiveness is important for all of us and making it way of life healthy alternative to letting the feelings fester.
1759128
This is a great book! I use it with my clients who struggle with forgiveness. This is not a work of fluff, but biblical principals.
1240496
Immacule tackles the emotion felt during the Rwandan Holocaust head on by describing her feelings of betrayal as once friends and neighbors turn on her, the constant fear of being found by killers, and the dismal conditions she is trapped in while waiting for the war to end. She doesnt tell a story where despite her circumstances there is always hope in her heart. There are times when shes bloodthirsty and filled with revenge as she watches her loved ones suffer. She tells a real story where certain acts are not justified, some pains are excessively brutal, but forgivingness is still possible. Even though her circumstances from the war could be said to give her perfect reason for being angry at the people who have afflicted her, Immacule recognizes this will not bring her peace. Of all people in any circumstance, she is able to forgive. It causes me to reflect on my life. She had everything except her faith taken away from her. If she can forgive, why should I not be able to? I would definitely recommend to someone else who needs to hear something seemingly impossible become reality. Or even for just a greater perspective.
3087621
This is the best book I've found to date on the subject of forgiveness.  It is one that you will read and refer to over and over.  I highly recommend it to everyone.
475084
A person's sin doesn't usually hurt one person, but forgiveness is required from all. Excellent roadmap through sin and forgiveness.
3615989
Despite the Biblical injunction, "Vengence is mine," I don't believe I have ever heard of a revenge story that includes God and the hearafter as part of the regenge motif. Not the God of grace, either.

I suppose I should get used to the return of the angry God shooting hellfire and brimstone so attractive to politicians these days.
1459075
An elementary school bully, Fiona Knowles, becomes the forgiveness guru.  She developed a ritual that caught on whereby you would fill a pouch with with two small stones, and send it to someone you've wronged with a heartfelt apology, asking that one stone be returned to symbolize acceptance of the apology, and that the other stone be sent to someone that person wronged with a note and an additional stone, so that person can also make amends.
But as the protagonist, Hannah Farr learns, not all apologies are accepted and apologies must take into account the sensitivities of the person receiving the apology.  Farr runs a morning show, and two of her friends appear as guests.  One of them is blindsided by a planned apology from the other.  Although the two elderly best friends ultimately reconciled, there were dire consequences to what one of them did, and life was lost, despite good intentions.
In Hannah's case, there are ambiguities about what she did, for which she seeks forgiveness, but given that her boyfriend is the mayor of New Orleans, she is warned that she can't be up front about egregious errors of judgment, even at thirteen.  She has to learn to live with ambiguities, and prioritize what is important in her relationships.  But the situations she finds herself in seem too contrived, as do many scenes in this book.
It's like a part of a twelve step program acted out.
My guess is that this book will inspire many people to ask for forgiveness from people they have wronged.  And by now we've all heard that forgiveness is for the benefit of the forgiver, not the person who's being forgiven.  But it's just too predictable for my taste.
3574654
Excellent book on forgiveness. It really helped me in a difficult time struggling with forgiveness of self and others. I highly recommend it. It's very illustration and story based which I feel helps you get into the practical experience of the subject matter.
2293763
Forgiveness struck a chord with me. It provides practical examples of how we only harm ourselves when we hang onto old repetitive habits and grudges. I realise now how I was giving my power by being a victim.  It is a great feeling to forgive others and myself.
4951659
We know that God is good. The Bible tells us that He is also a God who has indignation or anger every day (Psalm 7:11). Gods anger is a righteous anger expressed over injustices and sin. In his book, Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining and Bitterness, Dr. David Powlison teaches us about Gods anger and how we can rightly handle the anger we experience.

Powlison begins by introducing us to angry people. People like you and me. He brings to our attention six common traits of bad anger:

-Irritability

-Arguing

-Bitterness

-Violence

-Passiveness-may show itself with depression, lethargy and pessimism

-Self-righteousness

Anger does not happen to you. You do anger. It is something you do with all your heart, soul, mind, and body.

The author challenges us by examining four aspects of responding to anger:

Patience-being slow to anger, willing to work with wrong over time.

Forgiveness-Lets go of the offense.

Charity-Loves those who have hurt us.

Constructive Conflict-problem solving with the goal of being a peacemaker.

Finally, Powlison teaches us through chapters 3 and 4 of the Book of James. From these chapters and other scriptures, he walks us through eight questions to ask ourselves in regard to our anger:

What is my situation?
How do I react?
What are my motives?
What are the consequences?
What is true?
How do I turn to God for help?
How could I respond constructively in this situation?
What are the consequences of faith and obedience?
He concludes with leading us through working out the anger we experience within daily life, anger at ourselves and anger at God.

This book is not one to just be read and placed back on the bookshelf. David Powlison has written an excellent book of application for those who are serious about changing the way they deal with anger.

I received this book from Cross Focused Reviews and New Growth Press in exchange for a honest review.