Should be a "NO STARS" option.
928244
No stars for this ... could not ever activate it. Never got screen past initial "powered by Android".
1385245
Someone said "I wish I could give this zero stars." that's how I feel about this piece of crap. I finally gave up halfway through, thinking I could spend my time better doing just about anything.

The promotional material says that "A billion husbands are about to be replaced," which right off the bat is offensive because it assumes that all men are are means to sexual pleasure of a woman.

But then our "hero" takes Penny, our heroine, and uses her as a test subject. There is no personal relationship between them. All she is is a vessel into which he can insert a plethora of devices to bring her to the peak of pleasure. Ultimately orgasm becomes just plain boring.

The scene with magnetic balls in the ladies' room of a posh restaurant was disgusting enough, but I finally decided to give up on the book after the Academy Award scene.

Really, life is entirely too short to read stuff like this.
1438024
This is worse than a one star rip-off of the author's name written by someone who could have been a brain-addled 5th grade boy watching too many violent video games. I'm a Stuart Woods fan because I like the light, breezy, underdeveloped characters with their sexual prowess, gourmet tastes or villainy--just a total escape in a 3 night at bedtime read. But this awful mess takes non-development of characters and plot with major (!) loose ends  to a new low in popular. It's a disgusting, unnecessarily violent, 300 pages purely to make money. Just o make money by selling book? I'd say this to Mr. Wood, to paraphrase someone during the McCarthy area: "Have you no  shame?"
3681650
There is no way I'm buying these.  Absolutely not.  I'll get the real versions off ebay or at a comic book convention since you don't have the brains to release them. To all the upset fans who dislike the SE DVDs I say go to the library, or look around here on Amazon, there are a lot of good books that they don't go back and rewrite.
All this garbage about "original vision" is just talk.  So, I guess Lucas didn't have the cash to pay for the special effects for Greedo's first shot so he just had to settle for Han firing first till he'd sold $10 zillion in toys to pay for a remake?  Whatever, the SE are just more marketing by a guy who got lucky and wasn't smart enought to pass the creative reins over to someone qualified for the job.  That's the cue for all the indignant fans to chime in with the "HIS vision...HIS story" schtick or even a Binksy "How wude".  Well HIS vision is crap. And if the ewokies, gugunguhs, midichlorians and the romance between 8 year old boy and 15 year old girl hasn't convinced you I can't imagine my review will change your mind.
I have only $7 more for you George and that's for the episode 3 admission.  It will be mighty embarrassing sitting in the theatre with all of the other people who's curiosity insists that they pay the cash for a ticket to that travesty instead of spending it on something more enjoyable like getting 50 baseballs straight to the skull at the local batting cage. Luckily it will be a dark theatre, hell maybe that's why people still go in costume, to hide their identities! Anyway when you drop your last turd your free ride is over. I can put the lid down, flush and wash my hands of it all.
4268947
Unfortunately, there is no way to choose "no stars."
The tips are somewhat helpful, but the writing is atrocious. Would it have been too hard on your ego to hire an editor? Not only that, the author's white male privilege is seeping out of every page. If you are a sexist member of the "old boy's club," this book is for you.
There is nothing in this book that can't be found by making a very quick internet search.
3357674
It's pretty much a given that if you're not Amish or in a coma, you've probably heard of the Twilight series, its author, and the three lead actors.

It's also a given that anything related to the "Twilight" series or its stars is going to sell insanely well, even if it's a piece of garbage. And unfortunately, "Fame: Twilight" IS a piece of garbage -- an omnibus of clumsy graphic novels that manage to be both surreal and boring, with wretched illustrations and absurdly excessive praise.

The comic books compiled here are about Stephenie Meyer, Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner -- each one has a brief biography, a list of previous accomplishments (if any), random factoids about them, and (most prominently) their involvement in the vampire romance series and subsequent fame.

Since this is Bluewater Press -- who brought us as comics about Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama -- you pretty much know how good this comic book is. It's a blatant cash-in, with "quality" ranking somewhere around tenth place. Most of each comic book is a mass of pasted-together quotations from various interviews, and mundane facts that only the most obsessed fans care about (Stewart plays guitar!).

These are threaded on a slow-moving, clunky narrative which tries to be breathlessly melodramatic ("Stephenie was 21 when she married Christian... also known as PANCHO"). The actual facts are pretty generic, but tarted up with really bad prose ("... his stunning, marblesque features and an ability to sparkle" -- marblesque?).

And every single one engages in wild hyperbole to some degree, insisting that Kristin Stewart is some sort of wild James-Dean-esque rebel and that Taylor Lautner is a "real life superhero."

Additionally, the art is just awful. The Lautner comic is the best of the bunch -- being merely bland -- but Pattinson and Stewart's faces change with every panel, and Meyers has an evil grin, sinister eyebrows, freakishly tiny hands, and she looks EXACTLY the same from the age of four onward. Most other people look like circus freaks, and Meyers' boring life is spiced up with some hilariously awful artistic conceits (a map of Utah appeared in her hand... for no reason).

"Fame: Twilight" is a blatant, painfully inept cash-grab, apparently slapped together in the hopes that Twilight fans are so fanatical that they will buy literally anything, no matter how bad it is.
951502
Save your time, Frustration and Money.
Make sure to read all ONE STAR Comments.
I wish If I read them...
4699565
This movie has no idea whether its a buddy cop comedy, or a parody of one. At points its serious, and then it is the complete opposite the next minute, to the point of being rediculous. Will Ferell never "goes there" with his classic Anchorman rants, and Mark Wahlberg plays the most annoying character ever. It was just a mess of a movie, and I wanted to give it a low star rating, b/c I was sickened to see 4 stars, and so many positive reviews. Click the dislike button now, you freaking no-lifes. I'm not gonna respond to hostile comments either, so just to get this out of the way: SCREW YOU.
582295
This was awful. Way too long. Completely unlikeable characters except for the main character's best friend (who we see 3 times tops) and weirdly enough Elizabeth's mother, of all people (but she was!). At one point Mr Darcy (who is a complete snobbish classist PRICK in this and unattractive to boot) says he can't marry the main character because "she's not a maiden". Then five minutes later he decides to marry her after all and her lack of virginity is never brought up again. The plot doesn't make sense (and there are about a million different plots, all of them nonsensical), the characters and the way they behave doesn't make sense, the acting is AWFUL, the writing for the most part makes me cringe. The main character would have been locked into an asylum in less than a week with the way she acts in this. I *love* fanfiction,and I love fandom, so I don't understand why only the most s***ty fanfiction (and this is definitely self-insert Mary Sue stuff) is the stuff that gets attention from Hollywood or whatever England's equivalent would be. And I *wanted* to like this, is the thing, which is why I must adamantly give it only one star. Truly terrible.
1867285
I had to give this rating one star because the option of no star.
I bought this book because I watch the show and always suspected a professional dynamic and this did support that.
The authour however, could she be more self-serving? Could she be more pathetic and catty?
Crying about things like holding her hand out but not getting her allowance because she went out of town when she knew that was already on the table?
Crying how mean Holly and Bridget were, when she and her pussy posse did the same thing?
I only meant to stay a few months. Pulease??? You were there for as long as you could milk that cow.
It was a job. You were well paid and then cried about it later in an attempt to stay in the lifestyle you missed.
Still now a lawyer but would love to play one on tv. Crying out for producers to call you. Crying out for casino owners to call you.
PATHETIC....even more pathetic is that I spent [..] on it.
2068680
One star was the lowest rating; else I would have gone with a lower one. Move on, and don't waste your time.
4368766
I am going to forego my regular review format, as I find that it isn't necessary.

No comments on actors, production or special effects.

Just know that this movie is one of the BIGGEST pieces of crap to have ever graced a DVD. There simply is NO reason to watch this movie. Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about this movie is complete and utter garbage. An insult to the genre. Even the director / writer was embarrassed by it and only used his initials. You would be better off to just stare at a blank t.v. screen for 102 minutes. Seriously.

Amazon really needs to add a "No Star" option.
3326970
I reviewed the original&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/No-David/dp/0590930036/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">No David!</a>&nbsp;several months ago, when I proudly awarded it zero stars. I will be only slightly less caustic here, allowing for the fact that (most) schools no longer tolerate corporal punishment, and at the end of the day, it is still Mom and Dad's responsibility to raise a well-adjusted child. Lazy parents cannot expect a teacher to do their job, although sadly many take this opt-out approach.

So it's no surprise to see David acting out in class just like he did at home. Chewing gum, cutting the lunch line, physically accosting classmates, and generally causing mayhem. Why? Because his low self-esteem compels him to crave attention, even if that is negative attention.

After cleaning all the desks with a sponge and a bucket of soapy water--perhaps scrubbing the toilets with a toothbrush might have taught a more lasting lesson--David earns a star from his teacher in much the same way as a puppy might be rewarded for *not* pooping on the floor, and he is finally allowed to go home. Do his parents wonder why he is so late, or is he in detention so often that it is has become routine?

To the extent that problem children *do* exist, and that your child may very well have one in his or her classroom, David Goes to School might provide useful validation. But like the original, innumerable opportunities are missed to actually teach David why his behavior is antisocial and unacceptable. I still think these books glorify poor behavior, and for that reason, it gets the lowest possible rating from me.

First Scholastic paperback printing, September 2001
4165022
If there was a way to give negative stars...

The book, Online Dating Profiles, What Are They Really Telling You? does not live up to the promise at the top of the cover:  "Easily Identify Ideal Personality Traits" nor the product descriptions on Amazon and the author's website.  Ms. Knutz spent the majority of the book focused on negativity, most of which is obvious and superficial, or at least totally subjective to her own biases.  Even the few positive statements seemed self-contradictory of some preceding negative ones.  Rather than being a "key to interpreting the subtle clues in other people's profiles," though, most of the book is written in a tone of directions for creating one's own profile, in the form of "do"s and "don't"s, (mostly "don't"s,) with generous doses of her own values, priorities, and preferences.

On the last page of the book, she asks the reader to send her a profile, even their own, and she will send back an interpretation of "exactly what that person is disclosing about them."  (Never mind that the last word should be "themself".)  It is left implied that there is a fee for this service.  I looked at her website, which I will NOT recommend, and to which I refuse to provide the link here.  I would NOT send her anything for HER opinion of what SHE THINKS that they are trying to communicate!

I expected a lot more substance in the book.  At 115 pages, there is a lot of wasted paper, and it could have been at least a third smaller if she had used a normal size font; not indented and double indented; nor double, triple and quadruple spaced so much - none of which were required for aesthetic value or clarity.  It is obviously amateurish "self-publication" and there is not even any information printed on the spine - it is completely blank.  It is not worth the $17.97 current price on Amazon, nor the afternoon that it took to read.

If this were a high school theme paper, it might barely pass.  It is very exhausting to read because the writing style switches back and forth between first, second, and third person so much.  There are numerous instances of improper subject verb agreement, and incorrect words, such as on page 11, she obviously should have used "your" in the sentence:  "If you're dating site has the..."  There are many other cases of inadequate editing, like at the top of page 54:  "If you don't have a photo, then we are to assume that have the type of occupation that:"

She is often extremely wordy, and many of the sentences are awkwardly constructed, like this one from page 3:  "Without the help through some form of a communication aid we are left to our own imagination as to what it all means and who we think we are being intrigued by."  This book is certainly not effective as the communication aid to which she referred in that sentence, as if none of us are smart enough to judge a profile without her help.

She does not cite any objective research to support any of her generalizations or specific recommendations.  Many of her conclusions are not even logically supported by the examples she provides, if any.  She seems to expect the reader to accept her judgments just because she said so, yet nowhere in the book does it explain her credentials for saying such.  Numerous times, she contradicts herself, without explaining the context in which the different comments are applicable.

Even though six reviewers have given the book five stars, it should be noted that four of them were all within eight days of each other, and as of this writing, none of those four have ever reviewed any other book.  You can judge for yourself whether they have any substance worthy of consideration in your decision to buy this book.  My personal recommendation is that you go to the library and read any other book on the subject by any other author, before making a buying decision.  Of those I have read, I have not yet found any that I would specifically recommend, but so far none as bad as this.
2966884
There was nothing intriguing or entertaining about this book.  I listened to the whole book thinking it had to get better and couldn't get worse.  I was wrong on both counts.

The whole premise was stupid.  The writing was sub-par (and saying that is a compliment).  The performance was awful.  There was nothing good about this story.  I have no problem suspending reality and enjoying a story with zombies or sentient plants, but this was downright painful to listen to.  I love Star Wars and this is an embarrassment to the franchise.  I have listened to many Star Wars audiobooks and I can say without a doubt that this is by far the worst one I have heard/read.  I honestly don't know how this ever got published.  The world would have been a better place if the only existing copy had been destroyed in a fire and no one had the motivation to rewrite it.

Please save your money and more importantly, the eight hours of your life you will waste listening to this dreck.
4578571
There really should be the ability for a "No Star" review. This book is absolutely worthless. Two very important things missing, 1) Grammer above the 6th grade level and 2) Proper punctuation.
2356397
I don't normally do this, but before I started writing this review I actually scrolled down and read a few other "opinions". The obvious one star ratings made me have a little faith left in humanity, but the amount of five star ratings made me hate everyone all over again.

And what is the REASON this insulting, possible legacy tarnishing catastrophe got five stars from these dim-bulbs? "It's a fun movie for kids." This is written on EVERY five star review (is it the same mouth-breather or what?) So, by THAT reckoning, re-making 911 but replacing the suicide bombers by cute fluffy animals, who put a furry paw over their eyes when they're about to crash, followed by a slide-whistle soundtracking the towers collapsing would be OK, too? 'Cos you know, that would be "harmless fun for kids to watch at Halloween time" too. Pffffff.

Anyway, I don't think I need to explain WHY this is so bad. Laurel and Hardy were too genuine one-offs. Genius entertainers who merged eye-watering slapstick with spot-on visual gags, with perfect timing and execution. These two hacks think that if they DRESS like Laurel and Hardy and try and SOUND like them, then the same big laughs will come thick and fast.

They don't. Not once. Not ever. Imitation may be the highest form of flattery in some aspects, but this is an insult, a cheap cash-in on a famous name. Don't be tempted, don't be fooled.

If people really ARE on the look-out for something to make their kids laugh, then show them the real Laurel and Hardy films. People falling through roofs and getting hit with ladders will ALWAYS be funny, especially if it's the two REAL masters at work. Show the kids Laurel and Hardy's "The Music Box", and leave this disgrace gathering dust where it belongs.

The_Curmudgeon_Hates_You@yahoo.co.uk