Mystery Theater Gone Bad
924482
This is the second Creative Women Mystery by Christy Barritt that I have read.  The main characters are a quirky close group of friends who are all part of the Purls of Hope, a knitting group in a small town in Oregon.  All the ladies in the group are very creative, developing their own talents.  When they go to a murder dinner theater to support a friend who is in the cast, they get much more than they bargained for as the director of the play dies right at their table!  Shannon, who seems to always get right in the thick of trouble, wants to stay out of this time, but the director's widow asks her to look into her husband's death.  Then Essie, the friend they went to watch in the play, becomes the main suspect.  The clues lead Shannon from one cast member to another, and even to another murder mystery play. It turns out that the director was not very well-liked so there seems to be  plenty of suspects who disliked him.  But which one disliked him enough to murder him?  Shannon tries to sort out the truth, even going undercover in the second play, without getting herself into too much trouble.  Fun read, would like to read more about Shannon and her friends.  Kept me guessing until the end.
4723043
I saw this at the theater when it first came out. I was a little kid then. My memories of it, limited as they were, were fond. So I thought I'd rent it and show it to my kids. Wow! Bad mistake. Besides being badly dated at this point, it simply isn't any good. Starting from the beginning with the way overlong opening of Popeye rowing in to town in a supposed storm. The soundtrack is full of lightning crashing and the screen is darkened, but the scene was obviously filmed on a placid day. It's laughably bad. And it just gets worse. Robin Williams played Popeye like the old 1920's cartoon Popeye (which I love BTW) where Popeye was constantly muttering under his breath. It was great in the cartoons, but in this expensive, over-the-top musical, the muttering just gets lost. I suppose I liked it when I was a kid partly because I loved the cartoons, which my kids aren't familiar with, but also because production values weren't as slick as they are now. My kids, who are used to more modern fare, gave up on this halfway through. Don't waste your time
4909385
Musicals, in themselves, are bad enough but something about this one sounds particularly tortuous. Perhaps it is teh dumb girl in the makeshift Catwoman costume, or that really annoying looking blond queen with the glasses and video camera, or it could just be Rosario Dawson herself. Avoid this turkey.
554723
Anyone rating this film probably works for the movie company, or has lost their marbles. It only gets one star from me because my girlfriend insisted we get it, and this howling error on her part gives me carte blanche rental choices for about the next decade.
Bad dialogue, clumsily edited, atrocious acting, inconsistent motivations, no character development, colossal non-sequiturs, baffling ending and lead characters with all the pizazz of pork luncheon meat.
Fantastic relief though when Marlon Wayan's "Snails" is bumped off by the slaphead with the blue-lipstick - ah yes, Snails the thief - as much use as a glass hammer.
Don't believe the reviewers who claim that the extra scenes "explain everything" - they just add to the horror.
It was just fantastically bad - don't buy it - for pity's sake - save your money. I'm going to stop now, because it just hurts too much to think about it.
2486409
Erratic performances mar this cast recording of a revue consisting of what was, up until then, the "best" of Sondheim. British accents make Sondheim's wonderful New York/Broadway vernacular sound way too prim and proper. Particularly egregious is the most overwrought "Losing My Mind" ever committed to tape. It's simply awful. Other peformances range from okay to "yawn." A better buy is the 1973 Sondheim benefit concert "Sondheim Evening: A Musical Tribute" (1973 Concert Cast)Warner Brothers CD (with a few bonus tracks; it's tough to beat Larry Kert, Angela Lansbury and other Sondheim show veterans' interpretations.
4305156
"Black Widow" is billed on DVD as a Fox Film Noir. However, the noir term refers to the mystery since this was a garish-hued CinemaScope production written and directed by Nunnally Johnson, one of the South's more famous sons who became a prolific golden era Hollywood writer-producer-director.  This one of those "New York upper crust" stories in which a famous Broadway producer is accused of seducing and murdering a young wannabe writer, then hanging her in his and his wife's bedroom to make it appear a suicide. Oh, yes, there is a note. Or is it? Van Heflin plays the producer on the run. Gene Tierney is his wife. Top-billed Ginger Rogers is the producer's current star and upstairs neighbor. He long-suffering hubby is Reginald Gardiner. George Raft portrays the homicide detective investigating the case. By the way this motion picture produced and released in 1954 and back on those days stories were allowed to have a real beginning, middle and end. So you have time to get to know who these people are and form your own opinions as the mystery onion is peeled a layer at a time. The victim in this big budget melodrama-mystery is Peggy Ann Garner whose career mostly consisted of goody-two-shoes characters, so it looks mighty bad for Van Heflin as he eludes capture trying to find out who done it. I gave it three stars mainly because, to me, the eye-popping color and loss of intimacy via CinemaScope was distracting. But mystery is well-done, which is a plus.
2447822
They'll let just about anybody write and produce a Sherlock Holmes mystery, and that has led to some very bad pastiches, films, and TV series.  I'm not saying The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1954-55) was a bad television series, but I'm certainly not saying it was a good one, either.  There is just something very wrong with filming Sherlock Holmes episodes in France, for one thing.  The real weakness of the show (at least insofar as I can tell from the three episodes collected here on this DVD), though, has to be the writing.  The three cases featured here are far from worthy of the Great Detective, and one of them in particular is the worst Sherlock Holmes mystery I have ever come across in any form.  Ronald Howard (the son of Leslie Howard, by the way) isn't all that bad in the role, but Howard Marion Crawford's Dr. Watson seemed a little too befuddled (and grouchy) for my liking.  It is important to note, however, that The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is, as far as I know, the only truly American Holmes series ever produced.  That may explain why too much time is wasted on attempts at humor rather than the construction of strong plots.

The Case of the Pennsylvania Gun does at least have a few hallmarks of a good Holmesian story - a dead body inside a moat-encircled, all but impregnable, island fortress.  Since it would be all but impossible for anyone to get in to the place at the time of the murder, Inspector McCloud assumes that one of the two other people in the castle at the time must be the murderer.  Holmes is even less than forthcoming than usual, infuriating Watson and the Inspector by going fishing in the moat.  Naturally, there is much more to this murder mystery than Scotland Yard can see.

The third episode is The Case of the Belligerent Ghost, and it is the most entertaining entry on the DVD.  Watson encounters a heart attack victim on the street, helps him home, but can do nothing to prevent his death.  A short while later, the "ghost" of the dead man turns up and punches him in the eye.  As you might expect, Watson is completely flummoxed by the whole situation, especially when he meets the ghost again the next night and suffers a nose-tweaking from him.  There is no doubt that the man Watson assisted did die, but Holmes noses out a scheme of art theft behind all of the shenanigans.  The kicker comes in the episode's final revelation, which I have to say is extremely funny.

I skipped the second episode, The Case of the Texas Cowgirl, for a reason - would that I had skipped the episode itself when viewing this DVD.  This episode is absolutely horrible.  A young American rodeo lass from Texas finds a man killed with her tomahawk in her hotel room, seeks the help of Holmes (whom she continually addresses as "Sherlock"), and subjects us to all sorts of Western stereotypes and embarrassingly bad action (the "fun" is just starting when she lassoes poor Watson in the study).  There is absolutely nothing good I can say about this episode.

In the final summation, this DVD just barely manages to earn three stars from me.  Just keep in mind that this is far removed from the true Sherlock Holmes, and producer Sheldon Reynolds is no Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  It's not very hard to see why the series only lasted through 39 episodes.
816979
How is it possible to set a movie in what's become known as "the scariest place on earth" and have it turn out so badly?

Beats me. But these people managed it.

The premise was passable, albeit B-movie all the way: "Five sexy coeds who've been dared to spend the night" in a creepy old building. (Note to future filmmakers: Any movie that starts with "five sexy coeds" is going to bomb.)

The location (Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville, KY) amply provided the creepy old building. Images of Waverly Hills, alone, are enough to give someone the willies. Despite that, the scariest thing about Death Tunnel is that it got made in the first place.

The fault for this train wreck lies squarely with the script and the direction (both of which came from Philip Adrian Booth). I can't blame the actors. They probably thought it would turn out differently. At the very least, they knew they'd get a paycheck for their work. But the dialog and direction are horrendous. The director supposed mechanically-altered voices (low-pitched, of course, to sound evil), rapid jump-cuts, and grainy, often out-of-focus shots and nerve-jangling noises interspersed with whatever vapid acting was happening on screen equal suspense. He supposed wrong. They equal headache.

Hopefully, Mr. Booth hasn't yet quit his day job.

Watch this film only to see the setting, Waverly Hills Sanatorium. But be prepared to be thoroughly disappointed and frustrated by a movie that could have been outstanding with a better script -- and a director more interested in letting the story unfold than in taking the kitchen-sink approach by adding every horror-movie cliche ever seen.
663266
What could have been a decent movie was ruined by trite vulgarity.
2195453
Bad, awful movie in the theater with too many flaws in plot, characterization and overly simplified stereotypes to go into here.  Only gets worse as the screen gets smaller.

A recent comment on this review has reenforced my review that the fans of this movie may never have actually picked up a book to give themselves a legitimate perspecitve on exactly how bad this movie is in plot and how badly derivitive it is.
837279
computer graphics were bad. acting was bad. violence was worse than PG-13. no one in our 4 person party enjoyed it.
2210207
I sometimes wonder why half-decent actors stoop to making an appearance in low-budget movies of any description.
I tried to give this a chance but the performances are completely wooden, the plot predictable in the extreme and the sets look like they could fall down anys econd, they are so false.
Complete waste of time and even my wife agreed!
863042
Like some of the other reviewers, I picked up this movie because of the cast, particularly Woody Allen.  The one good thing about it is that it wasn't very long, and that I didn't buy it, but rent it cheaply from my local library.  Everything else about it is bad.
The premise is not bad as far as it goes.  Tex, a NY butcher (hopefully a kosher/halal one?) living in Texas marries a floozy who cheats on him at every turn.  He kills her, dismembers her and drives over to the New Mexico town of El Ni&ntilde;o to bury her corpse.  In the way, he loses a hand.  A blind woman stumbles over the hand and regains her vision.  The hand is delivered to the local church where, in spite of the opposition of the priest, it is displayed as the Virgin's hand.  It quickly confirms this reputation and transform's the windswept town into a tourist mecca.  One of the dead woman's lovers, an irritating Texas ranger, find out about the murder an tries to arrest Tex and confiscate the missing hand.  The local townspeople rebel, kill the ranger, release Tex, and keep the hand.  A parallel plot concerns the priest who has lost his faith and is in love with one of the local hookers.  The hooker first attempts to become celibate and then marries the priest.
So what's wrong with this picture?  Virtually everything.  It's not being away from New York that has killed Woody Allen's jokes, but the fact that he is no longe allowed to take center stage or to roam freely across his multiple obsessions.  Sharon Stone, as his adulterous wife and murder victim, must have been so stricken by the mediocre result that her name has been stricken from the marquee: one looks in vain for her name as the credits pass by (at the movie's end, rather than the beginning, which was surely no accident).  David Schwimmer is utterly unrealistic as a priest, instead playing again the bumbling and incoherent character that made him rich at "Friends".  Maria Grazia Cucinotta, as the obligatory hooker with a heart of gold is OK, although one wonders why she should fall in love with such a bland character as Schwimmer's priest.  Of course it's possible (beautiful women are notorious for their rotten taste in partners) but it doesn't make for a funny movie.  Kiefer Sutherland, as the Texas ranger, is even good rather than OK, since he conveys a sense of menace and aggression whenever he appears on the screen.  Contrary to the rest of the cast, he stands for something, and has a personality, a rare commodity in this movie.  Three actors who play a priest, a nun and a Franciscan monk on a mission from the archbishop to authenticate the supposed holy relic are ludicrous rather than funny.  Stupidity is not funny.  Clumsiness may be funny (witness Laurel and Hardy), but only when redeemed by some endearing trait (such as friendship or loyalty).  These characters are cyphers.  They are nothing more than authority figures to mock, and not even that at times.
Other reviewers have commented on the film's disrespect for religion and priesthood.  That's not the problem.  Humour, like love, forgives all.  The movie just isn't funny, and so its vulgarity and crudeness are unjustified.  With no less than 3 major actors (Allen, Stone and Sutherland) and a great or at least distinguished support cast (Cucinotta, Schwimmer, Drescher, to name a few) it is much less than the sum of its parts.  Vulgarity and lewdness are not funny by themselves, but only as part of a reasonable portrayal of human foibles.  In this movie genitalia, breasts, profanity and lewdness are in fact substitutes for a plot or for well-rendered characters.  This sort of thing may work (more or less) in "gross-out" films intended for the 13-year old set (such as "American Pie", "Dumb and Dumber" or the "Scary Movie" series) but it doesn't in a movie intended for adults.  You'd have more fun drinking yourself blind while reading P.J. O'Rourke.
1515177
Yet again, Madacy has gone out of their way to find the worst prints imaginable to sell to the unsuspecting viewing public.
The first feature, "The Screaming Skull" (a title that's given me a headache for decades!), is exceptionally muddy and dark, obviously an extremely poor dub from a several-generations old video source. The second feature on the tape, "The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman" is pure pan n' scan from a very scuffed and chopped print. Distortions and color blur are obvious on the edges of the picture.
In "The Screaming Skull", young and nervous newy wed is terrorized by a skull, supposedly that of her new hubby's ex, who died from a crushed skull/drowning in a lilly pond. Grade Z acting all around.
While "The Screaming Skull" is a classic low-budget horror flick from the 1950's, "The Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman" is of European 1971 vintage.
In this one, two college girls travel to eastern Europe in search of a legendary grave of a lady vampire. They meet up with a spooky guy when the run out of gas. Naturally, he's a werewolf. Well, with at least one of the two college girls, I'd be howling at the moon, too.
Anyway, they stupidly awaken the lady vampire, and after a bunch of killings, the werewolf and vampire have it out. Obviously the "director" was a fan of "The Six Million Dollar Man", because the lady vampires run and jump in slow motion (not as sexy as it sounds). There are hints of breast from time to time, but if there were any naughty scenes originally, they appear to have been cut (European versions have five to six more minutes then the US drive-in release, which this seems to be).
I would strongly urge DVD collectors to avoid any of the horror titles in this Madacy set.
I gave the disc two stars only because of the interactive menus. They are the only part of the disc that was nicely done, and there is a Popeye cartoon added for "intermission".
2752186
I don't understand how this movie rated four or more starts with anyone, I should have walked out off the theatre and yes I was dumb enough to pay and see this. . I would have given it zero stars if possible.  This has got to be one of the worst convoluted excuse for a movie I have seen in years.  I am wondering if all the people reviewing this film must have saw a different movie than I did. I enjoy all kinds of movies but this one should be avoided at all costs and we should petition for Wes Anderson to be banned from making films. This is a wierd art house movie that should have stayed on the film festival circuits only.  Please do not waste your time or money on this film you will regret it I did.  I cannot say enough bad things about it, there is not one redeeming quality in the whole film.
587330
The plots have been simplified to the point of removing all of the intellectually challenging aspects Christie was famous for.  The language used is American English and not British English.  The cast is totally lacking in enthusiasm for their parts and come across as if they were in the film because they lost a bet.  The casting is not very good and few of the actors match their part.  Several scenes of graphic homosexual physical affection have been added.

There is a technical flaw of the audio and video not being exactly synchronized.  It is most obvious when the people's  mouths do not move properly to match what they say.

After viewing this several times I noticed why it seemed simplified.  The characters are stupid.  Even Miss Marple comes across as an airhead who blurts out smart sentences every so often.  Also there appears to be some ethical preaching.  Everyone who has any moral standards is ridiculed.  There is a lot of cigarette smoking.  This violates the code of conduct of Hollywood about not promoting cigarette smoking by showing it in the characters.
4236583
I could not make it all the way through the first episode. I cannot believe that someone would invest in the production of such a completely horrible show. I understand that this was inspired by Starship Troopers. I must say that while Starship Troopers was not very good, but this inspiration is terrible. I want to thank whoever cancelled this show after only 1 season. You will regret it if you buy this. It is too bad even for Mystery Science Theater.