Communication Primer for the Lies we Tell
930946
This book leans toward the useful side. For a "quick read", the "down to earth" author presents a nearly scientific analysis and approach of early relationship communication. And he gives thorough and accurate advice that, if undertaken "by the book", it will produce effective results as promised. However, therein lies the problem.

When a man follows Fenton's roadmap, and he does indeed secure a potential partner, then what does he do? Heart is missing from this "how-to" book. Whether inadvertantly or intentional, Fenton's presentation seems shallow. I'm left with thinking that perhaps Fenton does this kind of thing as sport - which a man with questionable motivation could easily do using his methodology. If a man wants to begin a sincere companionship relationship with a woman he desires, then both partners will probably start off on excellent footing. But using this book could also lead to pursuing "sexual conquests" with little regard for a woman wanting a decent, single-minded male counterpart.

The sad irony of this book reveals much truth about "indirect" communication. It highlights the negativity of indirect communication which is deception from both parties. I believe a long-term committment requires pursuing honesty, which often starts off in an "indirect" and "polite" way. Men and women are understandibly reluctant to become vulnerable to "love", and sometimes conceal their motives, agenda's, and fears behind indirect communication. I think Fenton would be doing his readers a favor by encouraging care and compassion instead of "leveling the playing field". There just isn't enough substance once a man gets beyond the beginning stages of "successful dates".

I'd say the book is technically excellent, but the "human side" of this work could be improved.
1197152
This book is an excellent tool to learn the signs that someone is being dishonest. But it also emphasizes the importance of developing trust in relationships.
1992380
Myths, legends, epics, sagas - we've always told stories. Nicolas Boillot reminds us forcefully of the importance of narrative, plot, character and conflict in communicating. He also points out that stories are consumed by people, so we ought know precisely who we're trying to engage with. It sounds simple, but the modern focus on "content management" continues to produce some of the most turgid communication.

This book is not a comprehensive textbook - it's a primer. Boillot makes his points succinctly in his quest to convince readers to think about their companies in new ways. It works for me, and I generally hate business books...
4052550
Joe Navarro does an amazing job of laying out the nonverbals of every part of the human body in this book "What Every Body is Saying".
From comfort/discomfort displays, to confidence/insecurity displays, he makes it clear and concise, providing over 80 figures (pictures) depicting many of the specific nonverbal gestures in question, and he provides more than 50 examples of nonverbal expressions from his experience in his 25-year career as a nonverbal communication expert in the FBI.

There's also a special chapter toward the end devoted entirely to the subject of deception. With popular TV shows like "Lie to Me" Joe's warning is all the more important: Niether laypersons nor professionals are very good at detecting deception. It's important not to label someone a liar simply because they show one or two signs of stress/discomfort. There are no nonverbal cues that are in and of themselves indicative of deception.
I really appreciated that chapter and his careful warning about coming to hasty conclusions about deception.

The skills taught in this book are easy to understand and very practical. It just takes practice is all. I've already noticed significant behaviors in my family, coworkers, and even my Pastor. Those behaviors act as a window into other peoples' thoughts and feelings and allow me to better understand how they feel so that I can respond appropriately. I hope that someday Navarro will release an expanded version of this book.

Definitely five stars. I highly recommend it.
1322268
We have all known the "employee from hell" in all of his or her guises: the complainer, the egomaniac, the troublemaker, the passive-aggressive type, the clever con artist, and many more.

In this plain-spoken book, management consultant Gini Graham Scott categorizes bad employees into some three dozen pigeonholes (like the "impossible intern," the "negative Nelly," and the out-and-out liar) and assigns each a brief chapter that opens with a succinct case study. In each setting, Scott asks the same question: Did the boss handle the situation well? Should she have fired the employee on the spot, put him on probation, called a staff meeting, had a one-on-one conversation with the troublesome employee, let the whole thing go, or done something else entirely?

Scott's advice springs largely from common sense. She acknowledges that there isn't just one way to handle a difficult worker. A good deal depends on the office atmosphere, the employee's and boss's personalities, and other intangibles. In discussing a saleswoman who gives so much attention to the first customer of the day that she neglects her duties to other customers, Scott suggests a variety of steps: giving the worker one more chance, explaining that she will be fired if she doesn't change, clarifying where she has gone wrong, asking another employee to monitor her behavior, and rewarding her with small bonuses if her performance improves.

Of course, some problematic behavior - drug use on the job, stealing from the employer, a pattern of lying -- can't be tolerated, and Scott urges that supervisors should fire people who do those things, even if the employee is a friend, or the friend of a friend. Still, there are a number of ways to dismiss someone, and Scott insists that even a fireable employee should be shown the door graciously.
748405
This is a great book that explains what - and - how things are taught to us wrong, both for political agenda reasons, and because even the teachers are misinformed.
3957390
A clever and well-written account of a common form of self-deception with examples from politics, law and everyday life.
623563
In his final chapter (chapter 16), the author names story telling as the capstone of the communication techniques he has been describing. True to his own advice, many of the techniques suggested in his book are well illustrated by stories and one of the pleasures of reading the full text is to enjoy their relevance and effectiveness. The flow of ideas facilitated by the stories may even mask the excellent organization of the many practical suggestions included in the book. Let me illustrate the organizational skills of the author with three easily formulated outline summaries of early chapters.

Chapter 2: INVERT EXPECTATIONS - A. Regarding modern electronic devices: 1. They make higher order communication more difficult; 2. They are  prone to miscommunication; 3. They overemphasize my message rather than our collaboration; 4. Their use overlooks the fact that communication to an audience and communication to an individual are different; 5. Their use creates the impression that completion occurs with the "send" button.
B. Expect more from each other: 1. Your psychology - be aware of: a. reciprocity, when your behavior triggers a like response; b. the copycat syndrome, doing what others are doing; c. conversational matching, where the pace, volume and tone of communication tends to mirror each other. 2. With others: a. don't permit lower order interruptions; b. take the others perspective, don't generalize to mass communication, c. make understanding a priority.

Chapter 3: LOSE YOUR FRIENDS - A. Consider a friendship pyramid of four levels: 1. Close family, best friends, crucial clients; 2. Close friends, mentors, important colleagues, fans; 3. "Named acquaintances" 4. Everyone else.
B. Respond to each level appropriately: 1. Immediately; 2. ASAP; 3. Within a day or so; 4. Later, if time permits.

Chapter 5: DON'T BE YOURSELF - A. Underlying our modern brain (ruled by reason) is our cave brain (ruled by impulse); the latter is neither civil or civilized and tends to destabilize interactions with others (ego protective). Thus, it is well to avoid impulsive responses and stifle gut reactions.
B. Restraint is strengthened by: 1. Not talking, 2. Delaying replies, 3. Resisting the urge to "be right", 3. Avoiding put downs, insults and attempts at irrelevant humor. 4. Take pride in what you didn't say.
C. Always Be Containing by: 1. Deescalating: a. Stop rebuttal, b. Pause to reflect, c. Find something to apologize for, compliment or acknowledge. 2. Redirecting: a. go back to root issue, b. ignore tangents  c. start over, 3. Exiting: a. ask "anything else", b. give a plausible excuse for leaving, c. ask for a "time out"
D. Keep technology out of the cave.

Dr. Tumlin employs this expositional vein throughout the book which was written to illustrate why so many of our old habits and assumptions need to be modified if we wish to be understood in this age of digital communication. The author clearly and reasonably justifies each of the alternative techniques in his toolkit for achieving good communication which, as he explains, leads to good relationships and is the basis for a good life.
755249
How brainwashing, manipulation works and how corruption succeeds
3871158
Americans are currently living in a dark age, an age when lies and lying is widespread, and where evil is promoted as good.  Anthony Esolens book Out of the Ashes is a much-needed remedy as it promotes the restoration of truth, beauty and goodness.
As Esolen states the problem:

The media and education system promote outlandish lies, such as the following:  Family structure doesnt matter.  Gender is just a social construct.  The feminist movement is about equal opportunities for women.  The Indians were a peace-loving people, close to nature, and benevolent to everyone.  Religion is the cause of almost all wars.  A million people were burnt at the stake in the Middle Ages.

It isn't just the sheer multitude of the lies, or their weight, like a mudslide rumbling down the side of a two-mile-high volcano.  It is that we really do not expect people to do anything but lie.  As I write these words, Hillary Clinton, probably the most vulgar, insecure, vindictive, and malevolent human being ever to be nominated by a major party for the presidency, seems to have a better than even chance of winning the presidency.  That is despite a long career of lying in the most outrageous and pettiest ways.  Her mendacity is not really in dispute.  Her supporters know that she is a liar and they don't care, because they want the things that her lies will secure for them.  She is their liar.

Esolen offers solid backing for his claims that lies and decadence are widespread.  He cites that rarely do those caught violating morality or the law admit that they were wrong, and do so without making excuses.  Another gauge of the health of our society is how full churches are.

One of the more interesting insights this book points out is that homeschoolers usually have children who beat the academic achievement of those in public schools  and using far less money and with tutors who are amateurs.  When ordinary mothers can outperform public schools, you know public education is in deep trouble.

As John F Kennedy noted, Gods work on earth must truly be our own and Out of the Ashes cogently and powerfully demonstrates that a lot of work needs to be done.  Reading this book will help  a lot.
1524087
I recently had someone come back into my life that I lied to by omission. Our second time around he was having trouble trusting me. I told a white lie and he blew up. I was sitting there scratching my head thinking what's his problem. I decided to order some books about trust to get a handle on my issue with lying. This book has shown me why I choose to not be truthfull all the time. I am trying to protect myself from how I think the person will react by knowing the truth. I'm not trustfull or trustworthy. I this book is really helping me see a better way to be.
2441813
This book gives a modern take on one of the world's oldest professions; tricking people out of their hard earned money.  While "confidence men," "con artists" and schemers have always been operating from the fringes (OK, from Wall Street and Main Street too,) today it's a different world with the Internet. Lots more victims to lure and rip off.  And business is booming.

The author updates us on the latest sleazy tactics. I especially enjoyed the section, "I SEO."  The book dissects phony sales pitches and bogus buzz words to fool the unsuspecting into wasting their money. Customers believe they are rising in Google page rankings, when they are actually not doing a thing for their online presence.

My ultimate favorite chapter is the first one, especially pages 10 and 11, re: online reputation management.  You'll have to read the book to find out why!

Looking forward to the next expose.

<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/Charity-Bashed/dp/B0046A9OA2/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">Charity Bashed</a>
3044731
MARKETING in the #FakeNews Era ISBN: 9781599329260, Advantage Media Group, an e-book by Peter Horst
The book opens including a list of acknowledgements of persons who spent time with me to offer their wisdom and is followed by an Introduction that appealingly begins with I cant wait to hear what you learn  just don't mention me. The author recounts how, while preparing a speech on how brands increasingly are drawn into social and political firestorms, #boycotts, and social media crises. he had spoken with numerous other CEOs, all of whom concurred with the growing importance of this subject. Further, each had expressed his/her desire to know what others said, BUT most frequently ended the conversation with some variation of this remark. His conclusion: When veteran executives say they really want to read something but are afraid to be associated with it, you know its a topic that needs some attention. Thus, he specifically delineates his target audience as anyone who is accountable for the long-term financial health of an organization. That means you CEOs, general managers and board members. However, he believes it also includes the marketers, PR managers and all communications professionals who need a deep understanding of each others craft because another new reality is that brand health and corporate reputation have become deeply interwoven because the new realities for brands in the #FakeNews Era is here, and probably for a long time to come.
The body of the work follows in three parts. PART I: THE NEW REALITY broken into 3 Chapters: 1 - Collapse of the middle and the rise of tribalism; 2 - Fear and loathing in America; 3  No safe sidelines. In these chapters he examines the Collapse of the Middle  the economic middle class, centralist political posture, and a balanced and impartial news media, all disappearing with everything and everybody being pulled into opposing camps (formation of tribes characterized by their strong social identity) followed logically by the rise of intertribal fear and loathing aided and abetted by the #FakeNews Media. Thus, Americans have lost trust in the people who are supposed to make it work, to fix the problems and make society better resulting in loss of safety that existed formerly in the sidelines. PART II: NEW RULES with 4 Chapters, each title self-explanatory - Identify your core values; Understand your tribe; Put your values on display: New rules in action  Heinekens Worlds Apart characterized by a brief description (for those unfamiliar) of the controversial Heinekens proposal and followed by discussion of its tenets. PART III: LEADING UNDER FIRE composed of 4 Chapters, also self-explanatory with titles Overcoming internal objections; Get ready for when it hits the fan; How to respond under fire; Is this reality here to stay, which is a compilation of statements contributed by CEOs, President/chair, founder/cofounders, etc. of well-known organizations. A, Brief Parting Thoughts, and a note, About the Author, providing details of his extensive capabilities and contributions conclude the book. Most helpfully, at the end of each chapter a list of Takaway thoughts are listed.
Discussion: There is not much this reviewer can offer except to strongly recommend that interest in this authors presentation actually should far exceed his targeted audience. As someone many years involved in a different area of consulting, I find his strategic vision is impressive and his ability to discern the bases of a problem, precisely delineate them and then provide practical, viable solutions is amazingly apparent. Thus, whether of his targeted audience or simply any thinking person today, all will discover answers to many questions about todays seemingly chaotic milieu provided in a stimulatingly enjoyable package.
4344549
There is a statement that is familiar amongst our society, especially those of us that are more liberal, and that is "to not always trust what the media offers as valid or true." This textbook is an attempt to characterize the ways that media manipulate or tangle the truth, and even goes as far as offering an explanation as to why they do it. Now this is where objectivity within a learning text can be lost because to offer opinion about why the media does such things is treacherously difficult to do without biasing a left or right view. Yet the book does offer many illuminating details about the workings of this incredibly powerful economic and political tool, and more importantly, it offers the reader tools for combating or deciphering the clouded messages it gives.

I believe that this is a book that must be read by every human being (not to mention our pets who more and more become economic targets) so as to arm himself or herself against the incessant onslaught of "buy me! Buy me!" and "I can make you better because God knows you weren't made right!" However, the book loses power in being a textbook because some fluidity is lost, and it can be at times rather bland.

Nonetheless, it is a great tool to have and a tool that has now more recently become important to the human in his newest, superficial society.
3540634
Truth is sacred.  So is the courage to tell it. Those who are politicizing the Truth by spin, omission and outright lies have grown not just unaccountable but complacent and arrogant.  Attkisson charges us all with doing our own research and recognizing these assaults on Truth, with her book a wake-up call that puts some disturbing Truth smack in front of any American who might not grasp that Freedom as we once knew it is being redefined by powers who would compromise it, for both the press and the individual citizen.  As we move into another election year, Stonewalled is a CRITICAL read to alert journalists--especially those just beginning their careers--and voters--to look with intention at the growing abuses these powers are committing as they seek public office with ever-growing reliance on a progressively politicized and co-opted media machine....making up our own minds and thinking for ourselves--with Attkisson''s book as an eye-opener--could just be that defining turn toward not getting fooled again!
186540
The title should be "How to communicate: getting attention and holding interest"--but that would violate the message of the book. It wouldn't be unexpected and it wouldn't itself be interesting. This is an easy read, filled with eye-opening research and concrete examples that show how you can expose a gap in your listener's knowledge and then help them fill it with your message. As another reviewer mentioned, the book illustrates its own principles--you won't forget the essential message and techniques any time soon. On the other hand, it can be a bit glib and glossy at times--after all, the authors don't know what you're actually trying to do with their techniques--so the book's message grows too abstract in spots. It belongs on your shelf alongside other high-concept books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I'm certainly glad to be one of the first to own what will certainly be "accepted wisdom" by summer.
4556318
As other authors have pointed out, the American society and those in other countries are less "connected" than ever before.  Indeed, there is ample evidence that people trust their government, business leaders, professionals, and each other less.
This collection of five lectures explores how the phenomenon happens and what can be done to avert the current trend.  In particular, the author argued that many current meausres of improving trust, such as increasing transparency and accountability of public and private sectors, usually miss the main point and may do more harm than good.
Some of her suggested solutions are very noble indeed.  They can nevertheless be implemented if only more people understand the importance of trust as a fundamental farbic in demoracy, business, and each individual's well-being.  The book serves as a very elementary introduction to such an issue.