Assertive but complementary.
925691
I looking for something different as I'm really not a fan of mustard.  This did the trick for me.  Not an  overly bold taste that actually complements the  food it is used with.
2398327
Barbara Bissonnette, a job coach for people on the autism spectrum, has written a job-hunting guide for people with Asperger Syndrome and similar autistic-spectrum conditions. While I respect Bissonnette's efforts in trying to assist people on the spectrum, I find her tone often condescending and paternalistic, rather than genuinely empathic. I believe that some of this may stem from the fact that Bissonnette herself is not autistic, but is a 'neurotypical'/allistic writer attempting to address the needs of, and speak for, autistic people. The book would be much more effective if it had been written by someone with direct personal experience with autism and its effects on the job search.

The book is worth it for the practical advice it gives about assessing one's skills and finding work that fits one's personality and neurotype, rather than forcing oneself to do a job that will be overloading and counterproductive, payment notwithstanding.
302316
This is an easy read in a good conversational tone. The author uses an honest and often witty approach to address the issues around changes in our work and personal lives. My favourite quote from the book,,",,a journey to independence and fulfilment sounds wonderful but is bloody hard."
4403816
Ruth Koch is a counselor, social worker, and educator; Ken Haugk is a pastor and the founder of Stephen Ministries (an organization that exists to equip church members in basic counseling and listening skills in order to be of service during others' difficult times).  "Speaking the Truth in Love" is one book in the training curriculum and focuses on how one can grow to be more assertive.

Assertiveness can be defined as "moving toward one's self as you move toward another person."  This is to be contrasted with Passiveness (in which a person decides not to reveal his true feelings and ends up experiencing guilt and frustration...thus working against himself) and Aggressiveness (in which a person attacks and thus works against another person).  The authors explain why Assertiveness is the best of these three options, hold up Jesus as the ultimate example of Assertiveness, and give practical advice for becoming more Assertive.  The authors liberally use anecdotes and examples to illustrate their points, making this book an easy read.  However, although the information is laid out simply, the material itself is certainly not simplistic.  Kock and Haugk know their subject matter well, they have a good understanding of Christian theology, and they are prove able to teach the material in an understandable and engaging way.

Although this book is intended for Christians going through Stephen Ministry training, you don't need to be either a Stephen Minister or a Christian to benefit from "Speaking the Truth in Love."  I, personally, am not going through the Stephen Ministry program and found the book highly beneficial; Jesus is treated more as a historical figure to emulate rather than True God and True Man.  It should also be mentioned that, while other similar books tend to assume the reader is Passive, this book strikes a balance between addressing a Passive reader and an Aggressive reader.

In all, "Speaking the Truth" is highly recommended.  It serves as a good introduction to interpersonal communication, conflict resolution, leadership, and self-differentiation.
3980815
I picked up this book to simply check it out. For some reason, I got hooked to the tone of Fred. It was humorous, caring and friendly. I think it is a genuine and honest effort to help the reader. Fred also shows his vulnerability at times which is really commendable..
1372729
I enjoyed the book. the candid and positive tones are What I need to get through daily life. The author is approachable and has a way to describe people and things vividly with just few words. I recommend this book.
1212427
Quick, easy read. Nuanced relationships. The author allows you to feel the connections the child has to the "wet nurse" and the bonding that takes place naturally when one breastfeeds a child -- even though you haven't given birth to that child. But it didn't end there. And for that I give this story credit. The closeness within the lives of these individuals does offer something other than the usual interactions put forth in a novel of this kind. Most of the time we're lead to believe that genuine caring could not exist within the parameters of an institution as heinous as slavery. But just rationally speaking we'd all be hard pressed to completely shut down feelings of affection and caring that come naturally to a human being. And without giving away too much of the story, I was pleased that the author allowed us to see these individuals over time. While the novel has some of the usual characters behaving as true to form, i.e., Simon LeGree types, she was able to balance that with opposites. I did not complete this book feeling exhausted, which is what often happens when the subject matter is slavery in the antebellum South.
1696672
An excellent read, on how one may best carry oneself and hold ones composure in dealings with others and society.
1190257
This is how it happens. His teams have taken the appropriate supportive, humble, and open-minded/hearted stance.
3821601
The author knows how to keep it moving and doesn't make it sound implausible.
4558502
Very serious content.  Some of its premises are obvious.  Some are more arcane and implicit.  It is well-written.  Tries to convey the gravity of the situation within the minority communities underclasses.  I'm reminded of the parable of the bucket of crabs, where one tries to climb out and the others pull it back down.
3444919
This book is definitely much better than many self-help books promoting "self-esteem".

However, I think Chapter 5 (Make People Respect You) is a weak one. The author somewhat ties 'self-acceptance' to assertiveness skills. It sounds like 'self-acceptance' is influenced by others' respect.

I think the real reason to be assertive is for practical benefits rather than for "self-acceptance" or "self-worth" or feeling good for one's "self". Without assertiveness, It would be difficult to gain people's cooperation and get what one wants to enjoy life more. Non-assertiveness is often self-defeating to achieving one's goals.

People's respect is, in part, the by-product of one's behaviors, and, like love, is not intrinsically connected with "self-acceptance". Some people will respect you and some will not no matter what.

It's easier to behave assertively without anger and anxiety if being assertive is for practical benefits instead of "feeling good for one's self".
4627106
I recently was in a book discussion of Proper Confidence with a group of graduate students in the sciences and in the humanities. We enjoyed it very much and found it helpful. Newbigin nicely reminded us that we are encultured persons whose thinking is shaped by our culture. The book's opening chapters unfold how we in the West came to think as we do. So, when we in the West say things such as "it is self-evident" that all persons are of equal value and concern, we must realize that it is self-evident only to those whose mindset have been shaped by the biblical story, even if we have jettison belief in that story. Newbigin, former bishop and missionary in India, notes that it is not at all self-evident to Hindus that all persons are created equally. An aside that illustrates Newbigin's comment on what is or isn't self-evident-- I have a medical doctor friend trained at my university who is from India. He said that in India the hospitals were started by Christians because they sought to medically treat all persons irrespective of their "lot in life," where as hospitals were resisted by India's non-Christian communities for assisting the lower castes whose conditions were their assigned lot in life.

What "makes sense" to us is of course shaped by our culture. Western culture has moved from ultimate reality being Personal (biblical story), to impersonal (Greek mindset). Both mindsets interact in early Church history. The Fourth Gospel is different from the so-called Synoptic Gospels in that it sought to engage the Greek mindset from the Jesus story: the impersonal "Word" (logos) is personal in the Incarnation.

Newbigin ably and concisely shows how we came to see the world as we do then shows that the Jesus story (the Incarnation) is the new starting point and cannot be absorbed into any rival reigning thought structures.

But, and here is where some "conservative" Christians got a bit squeamish. Newbigin said that it is a fact that the Christian faith is embedded in a tradition, a story, that can be doubted. He nicely goes on to show that all knowledge is encultured as was the Incarnation. And further, that there is no such thing as an objective, neutral standpoint from which to judge any of the world's stories. Even science itself is not acultural, ahistorical access to nature as it is. Scientists too as scientists walk by faith and not by sight.

The book goes on to show that it does not follow from the fact that all knowledge is encultured that none is a true story. On the contrary, we can seek to demonstrate the truth of the Christian faith, not by seeking to show that is reasonable according to the standards of the shifting plausibility structures (here Newbigin takes sides against the "modern" apologetic attempts to do so), but how well the Christian faith accounts or explains the common data we share with others in the world.

Newbigin showed how our Western culture moved from reliable knowledge being in the biblical story to being found only in timeless, acultural, ahistorical principles or laws that science, not "faith" discerns and demonstrates.  Newbigin nicely argued that the Cartesian drive for certainty ended with nihilism since nothing but mathematical truths cannot be doubted, but not doubted because they have no contact with reality.  All knowledge of the real world, including science, can be doubted. That's not a bad thing, but the position of being a creature with bodies in space and time. The question is whether we should believe the Christian story, which helped give rise to science and made it possible, by the way, or some other rival story.

I hope to re-read this book again and again.  Five stars.
4556129
Spells It All Out In Pictures and Brief Description, Well Worth Purchasing. But It Was More Beneficial to Me Vs The Person I bought it for. Basically, the Same Rule Applies, One Can Not be Helped Unless they are Willing to be  Open, Humble, Do Self-Reflection, & Persevere.
4389656
I think that the above is pretty clear and honest. Solid story that drags a bit yet ends abruptly. Enjoyable nonetheless.
3074596
Colin expresses his opinions in a straight forward manner. While I don't always agree with him, I respect his honesty and to the point approach.
2247860
Listening to this book one thing becomes very clear, it's all about confidence. But the author seems determined to interpret any lack of confidence or social aptitude as a sign of dishonesty. Introverts and those afflicted with anxiety-related conditions can look forward to a very difficult life if this book was taken seriously.

True there are a fact switcheroo's here that could prove prior knowledge of a situation and hence guilt. However, the behavioral observations offered only indicate anxiety and no necessarily guilt or dishonesty.

What the book really seems to convey is an attitude that if it's true for me, than it's true for everyone. Einstein once said, "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." This book reflect perhaps the worst kind of "common sense" assumption... the assumption that those who are different are those who are guilty.

There is a simple solution to this, which is to discuss developing an individual base line for each person you are trying to evaluate. However, developing such a base line would mean admitting the sweeping conclusions that this book and shows like "Lie To Me" make do not apply nearly as often as the consuming public would like to believe... and a more honest title, "You can read some people, some of the time," would probably sell less books.