basically it sounds like we all need professional therapy
922612
I did read the whole book. Not a whole lot of new info. Repetitive through out the book, basically it sounds like we all need professional therapy.  I'm middle aged "Getting Naked Again" by Judith Sills was way more informational, relate-able and fun to read.
4098091
Yes!  I am really glad this book came out.  As a clinician, I have been hoping for a good "self-help" book for my clients dealing with dysfunctional aggression and anger problems.  The area of anger is so under-represented in applied psychology, and I am glad to see these authors offering a digestible self-help approach using contemporary and effective psychotherapy principles.

It's a good read.  I recommend it for people dealing with anger issues in their life, and also for counselors.
2825276
I am a therapist who works with BPD and wanted a book to give to newly diagnosed clients. I don't feel like I would ever recommend this as the tone felt shaming and negative. Regarding the clinical content, I also didn't find it helpful in that it had far too many over generalizations that may or may not be applicable. BPD can present so differently that it can be difficult to make sweeping generalizations, especially in how it presents for women vs men. Also, when the book is updated in the future I hope the authors will include Dialectical Behavior Therapy as a treatment method.
1533876
In this world of too much information, this book helps organize our interrelated history, politics, and psychology so we can have a bit of hope to move toward healing communities.
4685725
I feel like a lot of things in this book are common sense- such as to lean on your friends, or call them or your family instead of your ex when you're feeling down. There were even a few cases of people whose friends would come baby-sit them.

I think that people already know they can do these things, if the options are available to them. Several people have told me about nasty breakups where they moved back in with their families, relied on friends to help them enforce No Contact, etc. They didn't need a book to tell them to do that.

What about people who don't have such unselfish friends, or whose families are not very emotionally supportive? What if the people you are supposed to be able to rely on act more like the reactions from people in the "Don't Wear Your Breakup out into The World section?" So far, this book has made me feel worse, not better.
4869426
Many of us professionals have forgotton that some of the pioneers in this field-- in the sixties particularly--had some
very different approaches to treating this Mental "Madness". Esp different from just Meds and restrictions.
While I agree that some of them were amazingly successful---I think it requires a very exact set of conditions and paradigms for those approaches to work.

IF you are interested in this subject, read the Bibliography first, and it will be pretty obvious where the author is coming from.
2941804
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  So-called "Reparative therapy" has been completely debunked, and the American Psychological Association has come out with a statement to that effect.  A large number of people who have been harmed by this misguided unscientific practice, and there is an increased suicide rate among it's survivors.  To use these methods is to risk harm to your clients and to open yourself up to litigation for malpractice, for which your clients will have a solid case.
227220
I'm a therapist. I'm finding it very useful in my practice.  A number of my patients are reading it daily, and showing beneficial results. Thanks!
698055
Especially during these troubled times, people need to read this for hope  It should be a required reading for all.
4456038
It seems that no matter which way you turn you bump into someone whose life is falling apart.  Maybe we have been living a fantasy for too long, delaying the cost of our consumer oriented society and all the bills are now coming due.  Or perhaps it is our self-centered attitudes that are destroying the very fabric of society.  But it seems that there is misery all around.  We desperately need some guidance in how to cope in these trying times.

This book is an attempt to provide some guidance and answers to what to do when your life falls apart.  The book attempts to give guidance that will be helpful no matter what the source of your problems.  The premise of the book is that no matter whether your problems are economic, health or relationship, following the guidelines in the book will improve your life.

I believe that the book tries to accomplish too much and therefore dilutes part of the message.  The book is not a how to deal with specific losses - such as loss of income, how to put your life back together after a foreclosure or even how to deal with devastating news about a health issue.  The steps or points are a little too general, one size fits all.  In my opinion, the book would be much better or much more helpful if it focused on very specific problems.

Daphne Kingma is a relationship expert and a lot of the advice centers around dealing with and improving personal relationships.  Much of the advice focuses on becoming more spiritual.  I certainly believe that a large part of our problems have their roots in our materialistic thinking.  I believe the process of becoming more spiritual is more involved than is presented in this book.

There is a lot of extremely good advice in the book.  Some of the "ten things" are much more powerful than others.  I think the chapters on: Face Your Defaults, Let Go, Persist and Live Simply are stronger than most of the others.

What you get from the book will depend on who and where you are in your life and what you are looking for.  If you are looking for a "How to recover from the economic disaster" I think you will be disappointed.  If you are looking for better tools to help you cope then you are more likely to find much value in the book.

All in all, there are a lot of great messages in the book.  My biggest issue with the book is I believe it tries to cover too much and therefore dilutes the message.  I would rather see a little tighter focus and I believe the message would be even more powerful.

If you are struggling and looking for some ways to cope, this certainly would be a good read.
4501332
There were parts of this story that frustrated the stink out of me.  I feel like the author needs to speak to more moms on both sides or moms who have actually been on both sides. As a doctor who spent the years before my kids went to primary school at home I know well what the ups and downs of both sides are. I still say 3 things are key to balancing it all no matter who you are or what your career role is.  Effort, love and communication.
683177
We all are bruised or broken, wounded or damaged in one way or another. While I read this wonderful little book, I kept trying to reach my own wounds. I grew more as a person, learned to look at myself but also realize that the people we meet may also need us to help them heal their wounds. The universe puts souls together for a reason. Each one of us is in this universe to heal another.
854095
Dr. Simon boils various dysfunctional relationships and personality types down to their bare bones. This makes me wonder why we are such dysfunctional messes if their root causes are so easily sorted out. So many thousands of years of human history and we are still just as broken as ever. Why are these skills not taught in schools and elsewhere? But, at least one can start here with "The Judas Syndrome" to start making sense out of the astonishing stunts the we sometimes pull as broken, fallible human beings.
2388336
In light of school violence, this is an interesting take. We all need to take care of each other, and seek help for those in need.
3963588
If the rhetoric of our times is getting to you, this book is therapy for troubled souls. Jung not only describes the potential tyranny of socialism and the historical tyranny of communism, he insists upon Christianity being present in society to counteract the inevitable tendencies towards government centralization. Socialists subordinate the individual to the whims of their rulers and use science to define the average man to suit their purposes. Yet Jung points out that the socialist average man does not exist in reality. Individuals are what populate reality, but mass movements always wish to subordinate the individual under the requirements of the masses. Socialists want the individual isolated and dependent. While Jung is writing this in 1957, his words ring true in our day when many social myrmidons and sycophants never tire of demanding more services from a central government while doing less themselves to remain independent and self-sufficient. In an era of American increases in annual debt that have averaged in the around a trillion dollars annually, his words have never been truer than today and are to be ignored at our peril.
2454814
from Kmaryland on August 20, 2017

Get more support - don't read this

As a psychologist - I am very much against glamourizing suicide .... we need to talk more about depression, isolation, and emotional control as a society. This and the tv series are not sending the appropriate skills and resources out to help people cope better.

National Suicide hotline -
Contact them directly

Chat - call someone is there for support.

Get therapy ... there are many online therapists available.

There are better ways to handle emotions -
TFT tapping for trauma and depression
1010177
I doubt if Ms. Porr lives with a family member that has Borderline. She contends we not do anything but treat these poor people as those who can not do anything to help themselves. We must put up with the verbal abuse by being noncritical/nonjudgemental etc. Maybe, just maybe they will throw us a morsel and say "thank you" once in a while. We should be so grateful for small things!! In the meantime, they scream and destroy our lives and our families. They refuse to go to therapy, yet they can have friends, go to school or have a job when they wish to. We are merely the punching bags and if we dare throw them out, or threaten them with actually having to do some chores, shame on us!! If this illness were diagnosed at aged 9, her advice might be worthwhile, but by the time we see the behavior, they are nasty, horrible teenagers who have made every day of our lives miserable. Yes, we try therapy and medication and everything, but we should allow them to say or do what they want because they are ill. Shame on you! No one alive should have to face rage and abuse even from a sick child. Save your money on this one!! added note: It is simply amazing that after writing this review so many people have come to the defense of Ms. Porr. Yet, not one of these people wrote a positive review prior to mine! Interesting.