If 0 stars were an option...
926097
I just bought these not too long ago. I have already gone through all three in about a month (give or take). They get easily twisted and become loose and will not charge in about a little over a week. Not worth your money. Buy a different brand.
2115473
As a fellow reader said, we need a ZERO stars option for books like this. As others have said, don't waste your time. I now know to trust NOTHING said by so-called reviewers to sell books. A few spoiler's ahead, but you will probably thank me. My thought while reading was that this was probably conceived by someone who's brain has been impacted by drugs--including LSD. It is a hodgepodge of bizarre ideas that never gel into anything meaningful. The main character's tenderness for his (ill) sister is the only touching part of the book, suggesting some true humanity.

The primary element in this book is Woody, the writers member. Yes, that member, which he refers to by a variety of names teens use. We read from the beginning about Horatio's sexual feelings for his Mom, his frequent masturbation, his sexual obsession and inability to control Woody who is still leading the adult Horatio around. This is rarely funny.  Then we have the stolen book concept where each of the three main characters is able to read about their own life. It yields only the stupidest idea (sex with a reluctant nun) as a way to destroy/save humankind. Then we have the direct line to a God filled with sarcasm and maybe a few comments a la "Conversations with God"--an actual spiritually based book. Oh yes, and the Angel of Death who is not really that pops up here and there. The most ridiculous element is the occasional interruption of this already bizarre and disjointed patchwork with comments on how we stupid humans are destroying our planet (true enough), but made by some superior alien life forms on another planet, but taken from recent scientific and political dialogue. I read the whole book, skimming thru some of the second half, thinking that there would be some point to it. There isn't.
4669546
There was absolutely nothing charming about this failed attempt at a character when we were hearing about him from Ana's point of view. At least now, there's no denying he is a creepy, abusive, manipulative, controlling, stalking rapist. There are literally no other aspects to his "character"! Unless you count his tortured past, which does nothing to excuse his behavior. If anything, it makes his behavior even more abhorrent, because the few other "characters" in this mess all forgive him for being lower than scum. If anybody still believes he is any kind of hero after reading this, then they need to get some serious help, and fast.
The only reason anyone even finds this trash romantic is because he's wealthy. Let's face it, if he weren't, this whole franchise would be seen for the terrible portrayal of a horrible relationship that it really is. Of course, it doesn't help it's basically a copy of an already more-than-terrible series, which, as much as E.L. James loves denying it, is really the only reason her "story" even became popular in the first place. Were it not for the Twilight books, Fifty Shades would never have existed, which would have been a perfect alternative to the past decade.
The still-terrible writing is just another notch in the belt. You'd think after "writing" four books, she'd have been able to develop her skills beyond that of a twelve-year-old. Of course, she doesn't seem capable of developing much of anything, unless you count her ever-increasing ego. It utterly terrifies me that this is what best-selling fiction has become, and I'm even more terrified to see what comes after this.

And if you still feel like Christain Grey is the very epitome of perfection after reading this, then I can only hope you become trapped in the kind of relationship you so obviously desire. Though I don't think even that would be enough to make you realize what sad, pathetic human beings you truly are.
1670150
If I could give this no stars, I would. I have the utmost respect for authors...it would be my dream to write a story...that's why I truly hate leaving a bad review. But this was just horrible from beginning to end. The dialogue was asinine, the relationship between the two main characters was never really established and the sex scenes were lukewarm at best....Sorry, but I can't in all honesty recommend this to anyone.
4314254
I don't usually write reviews, especially of books, but this book is so awful I had to warn others!  The first two chapters are fairly promising, and the next few are passable, but from about the one-third point this book spirals into unreadability.  It should be titled "The Solitude of The Severely Emotionally Constipated."  The male character has some legitimate reason to be the way he is, but only to a much lesser degree and for a much reduced time period.  The depth and duration of his psychosis is laughable.  Get some therapy and get over yourself! The female character has absolutely NO LEGITIMATE REASON to be such a basket case, and yet we're supposed to feel her overwhelming pain and sorrow.  Her primary problem seems to be that she's a dips##t, in love with another dips##t.  They literally don't know how to engage in human conversation.  It's like they were raised by wolves....narcissistic, entitled wolves.  If you make it to the end of this book -- which I did only because I couldn't believe that neither of these emotionally constipated freaks was going to reach ANY kind of epiphany/closure/transformation -- you will want to beat them both to death. Don't waste your time, your money, or your precious brain cells.
2004282
One of the worst books ever.

Sounds like two authors held a review day for friends to leave four and five star reviews on absolute crap.

Less than an hour into this, I was already sick of the emails....then I thought..."email?"

No landlines, no cell service, no gasoline, no bus service, no airline service, etc...

But there's WiFi.  Yippie!!!

This reminded me of something a 14 yr. old would write, for 14 yr. old's to read.

How many youngin's does it take to write an apocalyptic, virus killing book?

Apparently, more than two, because these two writers couldn't do it.

Hundreds of five star reviews?  Don't think so.

Oh, and it's a series as well.  Yikes.  The review numbers go way down.
31826
...I wish the ratings went to zero or even negative stars.  For all the reasons others have stated, this thing is WORTHLESS - doesn't even deserve space in my trash can.  The only possible use for it might be to check and see if I have mud on the soles of my boots because it falls off and spends most of it's time on the floor boards. I had been considering several other Kolpin products - no more!
2687630
BOO!  page 20 than page 53?  If only I could give negative stars!

I doubt anyone of significance will read this, but I doubt I could be talked into reading more of this trilogy (or maybe even this author or even this publisher) after such a screw up.

Screw it.  It goes in don't-bother-to-finish-pile.

BOO!
3755051
If there was anyway possible I would demand a refund. The book read like a middle school child has written it. Completely unbelievable plot, poor character development, ridiculous scenarios. If it were possible to give lower than a one star I would...negative 10 stars for this "work".
1582058
If there was a 0 star option, I'd choose that.

I've been reading a fair amount of m/m romances recently and this is by far the worst book of any genre that I've read in a long time. The writing was terrible, the characters one dimensional, the sex scenes completely cringe-worthy, and the whole plot was creepy. Unless you're into the Mrs. Robinson vibe, then maybe you'd like at least the basic plot.

I usually have constructive criticism in my reviews, but I honestly can't think of a single thing that could make the story palatable. Other than the cover (the guy is kind of cute), the book has no redeeming qualities.

I'm honestly considering getting my $1 back from Amazon.
325657
If I could give this embarrassment of a cd a negative rating, believe you me, I would. Alas, the worst I can do is give a one star.. Ah, the injustices of Amazon.com.

Goodness gracious, this is one seriously GOD-AWFUL album. Do not waste your money or your time on this 'music' by one of the most talentless, preposterous, and pretentious bands of all time.

Is Good Charlotte Punk? Are they 'Bubblegum-Punk'? Are they 'Faux-Punk'? Honestly, who the hell cares? All you need to know if you are un-familiar with their music is that they suck! I wouldn't touch this cd ever again, and I wouldn't wish even my worst enemies to have to sit through a listen. Don't waste your money or your time on this crap. Seriously.
29727
I tried mightily hard, but found it impossible to finish this egregious example of a BAD book (got as far as 68 percent before admitting defeat). I feel it had to have been written by someone who never paid attention in class when grammar, spelling, sentence structure, capitalization rules, etc., were taught. The plot is absurd; the characters are so one-dimensional as to be transparent (and unbelievable, to boot); the dialogue atrocious; and what could have been interesting was boring. There is nothing erotic about it at all...it's simply inane. Perhaps the book could be helped by employing a good editor, someone who is experienced at writing fiction (or intelligently writing anything at all, for that matter). However, I fear I am being naive if I think that will happen. Save your money -- save your reading time -- don't buy this book.
655952
If I could leave less than 1 star, I would do so.  This is horrible.  Horrendous acting, bad cinematography, ridiculous storyline - it's simply bad, all the way around.  I can't even comprehend who could have possibly contributed to this movie getting anything other than a 1 - or less - rating.  Please don't waste your money!!!!!
2790643
This will be my last Tim Miller book.  I only made it 1/3 of the way through before I gave up and deleted the book from my Kindle in utter disgust.  The editing was horrendous -- did Miller hire a third-grader to do it??? -- with a grammatical or spelling error in virtually every other sentence.  I might have attempted to at least TRY to overlook the disastrous editing had the story captured my interest, but the plot was every bit as lame as the editing.  Neither of the two main characters triggered any positive emotional attachment; Bobby was just snotty, while Simon was a complete terror...I'd expected to be at least somewhat sympathetic to him due to his autism, but after reading about his 7th or 8th multi-hour screaming fits, I pretty much just wanted to slam his head into the nearest wall to shut him up.  How on earth anyone could give this plate of garbage 5 stars just boggles my mind.  If you're looking for a scary, intelligent, well-written horror book, this ain't it!  At $0 this book would be too expensive.
2041754
Wish I was allowed to give 0 stars. I am disgusted that I actually wasted a day and a half reading this book...just because a few friends said it was good. I will NEVER take their book recs again. It read like some drunk 22 year-olds were all sitting together throwing out ideas for a mystery story. It is ridiculously overly dramatic; the language/ dialog are stupidly repetitive..."Am I really that DRUNK?" , "Were those screams coming from me?" " There were sounds in the corridor! Was someone coming?!" The loosely-knit web of hysterical events...which can not even be called a plot...requires an enormous amount of completely suspended logic...
3367764
There should be a "no stars" option. I started this film but quit it after only a few minutes so I cannot really rate it. And, I'm sorry that one star was my only logical option.
369518
Under any criteria, this is a *very* poor attempt.  There is not a single element that would make even a C grade in any creative writing 101 class.  How it made it to the commercial market baffles me even more than the reviews that found *any* redeeming value to this rip off of a wonderful character from a journeyman writer.  The dramatis personae  which haven't been "co-opted", are amateurish (to be charitable)at best, if not stone ridiculous.  Btw, the last Chevrolet Blazer was made in 2005.  My advice: save your time!!  This is *way* bad. Even as a read for free.