Are you f****** kidding me?
931803
Yeah nothing enhances a marriage like your husband watching pornography where the women are beat, sexually assaulted and called b**** c*** and w****. Look it up. Find the top 10 pornographic videos on the web I can guarantee you it's all about beating the s*** out of women. Do you want to stay with a man who is getting a hard-on and coming to watching women get beat.
2777973
I am over the top, hair rising, screaming, cussing, blood pressure in the danger zone and needing a big dose of hormones angry about the whole Windows 8 and now Windows 8.1 Bull-^&(% ing $&*^ business. In addition to having to learn a new operating system, (which took several weeks) I now realize that the pop up telling me that the "upgrade" that was supposed to completely change my life and fix Windows 8 issues now has taken away my ability to play DVDs... unless I want to pay another $95.00!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! I don't need all of the "Pro" c@$p... I just want to play a bleeping DVD for crying out loud. Mr. Gates you blow donkey chunks! What a TRUCK LOAD of @@@@!!!
3709488
Mr Burrin's lawyer has written to me as she feels I am defaming him and limiting his freedom of expression. I apologise if he feels that way about my opinion of his book and the way it displays his character. I had no intention of insulting him, nevertheless what about my freedom of expression in a simple book review? I have withdrawn all my other reviews of his books but this one seems to be there still although i clicked on cancel. Sorry, Nick.
1149296
Are you kidding me!!!!! I spent over a $100 for a product now at $60 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is ridiculous. Lifetime - what is up with this?  I am seriously annoyed with your pricing. So buyer beware.
739813
Is this a joke? If it is, it's an awful joke. I'm laughing now, but it sucked after I finished stuffing a huge sleeping bag in it.
I will update this post as it develops.
Two starts because at least one of them is correct.
2477108
I was hoping these would be more like other parking tickets that I had seen online. Others I have seen are for leaving on the cars of people who park inconsiderately. These seem to be more for playing a light joke on a friend. Some of the violations you can check off on the back include "Merry Christmas," "Parked in Own Driveway," "You're a BAD Girl," and "April Fools...Gotcha!" Others include "Not in Front of Hydrant" and "Under Meter Limit." Those last two are what is expected of every driver. Why would I give someone a ticket for doing what's legal? Gag parking tickets are supposed to be for people who actually park bad to let them know they are pissing off everybody in the parking lot, not as a joke to see the reaction on your friend's face. You'd have a hard time getting a reaction out of anyone with these things anyways.

The commentary on these cards is riddled with poor grammar. How stupid are you yourself going to look telling someone that they park terribly when it looks like you never completed the 3rd grade? Example: "...may result in the non-renewal of the license to drive & the registration by of the registered owner." What does "registration by of the registered owner" mean in that sentence?

These are just awful and they aren't funny at all. They're a complete waste of [...].
1057431
ok. Honestly, I got this to see what all the hype was about.  yes, it is silly.  Yes it makes kids laugh.  But honestly, I act silly with my kids anyway, and this is just no big deal to them.  :(
615158
Dear bookseller:

Sorry I'm not actually reviewing this book. I can't you see, because I haven't read it yet. Because you haven't given it to me yet.

I've tried everything I can think of to get you to give me this book (without actually PAYING you for it, natch). But you keep putting me off. I'm not sure I believe your lame excuses anymore.

You won't give me your address because you don't accept walk-ins? Oh, Really?

You don't ship without payment first? So I'm supposed to trust YOU, even though you don't trust ME. I see how it works.

I offered to ship you ten valuable first-edition books in exchange for this one, but you balked. How can you pass up a deal that is so clearly too good to be true?!

Obviously, you want to get rid of this book, or you wouldn't have listed it. I think you ought to just drop it in the mail and send it off to me because you know in your heart of hearts that is how it is supposed to work!
69531
Bro Fist! Oh Pewdiepiw, you made me laugh. It's a silly book. By a silly guy. Great for teens. Esteem builder is questionable because you do CAN NOT take this book seriously! Its a joke, bro! Glad to see YouTuber make some cash off talent. However, seems anyone with over 20million subscribers is pushing out self-help books!
854657
I need to quit reading books written by comedians, even the smart ones. Even the ones I love.

Patton Oswalt is a passable writer, for sure. But is his writing as funny as his comedy? Nope. Not even a little bit.

I'd best describe "Zombie Spaceship Wasteland" as a decently-written blog. Some jokey content here, some personal anecdotes there, but at the end of the day, it adds up to a bunch of nothing.

I didn't chuckle at all and only laughed out loud once (and trust me, I'm not a tough crowd). That was when he wrote down a joke concept called "horrible things that have popped into my head while masturbating that didn't stop me from masturbating." HA! I'm still cracking up.

But there you go. That was the funniest part. Go read something else. Sorry, Patton. I'll come see your shows anytime!
859331
This series is KILLING ME!!!  Seriously, why in the heck am I buying snippets of a story for $3.00 each that take me 1/2 hour to read?!  Breaking a normal-sized book into smaller pieces and charging for each one has got to be one of the biggest scams ever and shouldn't be allowed - I challenge all the big companies like Amazon and B&N to refuse to do this anymore!
So, you're probably asking yourself "why doesn't she just NOT buy the books to begin with?  Could it be because the story is so compelling she just can't help herself?"  No, actually the story is pretty lame, more like a quick afterthought used as an excuse to string a bunch of pornographic scenes together.  "Could it be because the heroine is so strong that she's rooting for her and wants to see what happens to her?"  No, actually if I have to read one more scene where Keely whispers and stutters while breaking eye contact instead of speaking loudly and looking the other person in the eye confidently I think I'll scream!  "Could it be because the hero is so tragic and yet pure-hearted she wants him to have his HEA?"  (snickering) Uh.....no.  Vaughn is pretty unimpressive and seems kind of dense.  It's his life's mission to "destroy" the company of the man he believes did his father wrong?  All without knowing all the facts and getting the story straight?  That plan got old in the first book, especially since he never really does anything to implement it, just keeps telling himself he'll "destroy" the company of the man who ruined his father.  "So is she going to cave and buy the last book in this series?"  Yes, damn me, I am!!!
4242670
It would have been nice if this book had told me something that isn't common sense! Really, how did this book get published? Even if this wasn't common sense to me, just reading the packaging with the product they tell you to purchase would tell you enough. I can't believe I paid so much money for this! I'm baffled at anyone who found this book helpful. Save your money and just use your brain.
4861596
Was a gift, but this is so bad I had to wonder if it was a joke.  It was.  This is not "chick-lit" because that would be an insult to chick-lit.  Not one of these women are redeemable, not one is worth the time to care about.  Skip it.
749058
Are you effing kidding me? This is finacial rape and should be illegal. I do not care that this is 3rd party. Amazon, by allowing this, you are condoning this and accept this as appropriate and it is not. This is absolutly disgusting to charge almost $800 for this crap.
3248176
I adore Kevin Hart and thought his last two stand-up specials were hilarious. This was not funny at all. I think I chuckled twice. I've laughed until I cried during his previous shows. I don't know what happened here but save your money.
2604982
I am really disappointed with this book. I feel like a fool. I let fooling myself with 5stars reviews and I want my money back!!! No f...ing way this book is worthy 5 stars. I had to effort myself to finish this book. Sometimes I want throw my e reeder against the wall because of my stupid decission to buy this book. Sometimes I thought taht book was written by 15 teen girl!! Seriously??? This crap I can't recommend to anybody!!!
2978787
This book is absolutely a joke. I am a 25-year Christian that has recently begun questioning my faith. For this reason, I am seeking input from both sides. My father suggested this book, and as were the other books he suggested, it was a comedy in my mind.

To give you an understanding of why I feel this way, all I have to do is give you some of his "Ground-Breaking" insights:

"'If there is no God, Why is there something rather than nothing?' is a question that we all have to answer. And in light of this evidence, we are left with only two options: either NO ONE created something out of nothing, or else SOMEONE created something out of nothing."

Oh yeah, it gets even better. This is to prove that time cannot be infinite (meaning that God created the universe at one point, so there was a definite beginning):

1. An infinite number of days has no end.

2. But today is the end of history (history being a collection of all days)

3. Therefore, there were not an infinite number of days before today!

<sarcasm>That last one almost converted me back to Christianity</sarcasm>

Here's another mind-blower:

1. Every design had a designer.

2. The universe has a highly complex design.

3. Therefore the universe had a designer.

Yes, this is the type of garbage you get throughout the book. Word of advice: if you are a Christian trying to convert one of the "evil ones", and this person has any hint of intelligence, don't use this book. Instead, use that whole "lake of fire" thing.. That sure scared the crap out of me for most of my life!

If you still want a copy.. come by my house on trash day, it'll be out by the curb.