May Not be for More Sensitive Mothers
927833
I am pregnant with my third child and I thought that this book would be a wonderful way to grow closer to our Blessed Mother through weekly reflections that also give insight into the various stages of pregnancy. I loved the idea of using the mysteries of the rosary as a means to connect as a mother with Mary. However, given the other glowing reviews, I did not anticipate that there would be so much content in the book that I would find upsetting.

I should have noticed that there were "features" (short essays at the start of some of the chapters) on miscarriage, stillbirth, coming to terms with a baby that may not live, etc. before ordering the book, but I was so thrilled to find a book that included my Catholic faith in my pregnancy that I failed to notice. Reinhard notes on pg. 2 that these more difficult topics may not "fit" and suggests that you simply should not read them if you do not wish to. I had planned on doing exactly that, but found that there were frequent recollections outside of these features detailing the loss and funeral of Reinhard's sister-in-law's full term child (There are three mentions before week 18; there may be more, but I have decided to stop reading the weekly reflections. I did read the final sections on labor, birth and Baptism.). Now, perhaps I am oversensitive, but I simply wasn't expecting a book for expectant mothers to include so much sadness. I understand that the features and recollections in question are a reality, and may offer support to women who experience them.  Yet, I wonder if they could not have all been placed together in their own chapter where they could be easily referenced if needed or avoided. Again, I understand that the inclusion of these topics is for the reader to not have to seek out additional resources during a heartbreaking time. My opinion is that it is unsettling to open up your book in eager excitement for the week's reflection and be faced with the all too real knowledge that one of these experiences could happen.

Additionally, this is a minor complaint, but I found it confusing for the chapters to use the fetal age as well as the week of pregnancy. For example, Chapter 2 is titled "Week 6 (Fetal Age: 4 Weeks)".

I appreciate Reinhard's effort in writing a book for Catholic mothers to grow in their faith during such an exciting and special time in their lives, but I felt that it focused a bit too much on the negative for my taste. I had hoped for a book that would be both inspiring and uplifting, but, sadly, this wasn't it.
506817
I think this is a good book for someone who has a more authoritarian parenting style and is looking for middle ground between that and true gentle discipline. I think there are some excellent tips and I appreciate the A-Z categorization for easy reference. What I found conflicting was the advice given for sleep and a small tidbit regarding breastfeeding. While the authors respect the choice of parents who co-sleep, they take a very firm stance against it and advocate for Ferberizing/CIO. I find this conflicting because the rest of the book encourages parents to support the emotional well-being of their children and yet they should abandon that at the bedroom door? I think the authors would have done a better service to their readers if they actually examined ways to gently encourage better sleep habits (and yes they do exist).

They should also examine current research in regards to "Crying it Out" and the negative effects it has on infant brain development, in addition to attachment theory and the importance of responding to infant cries for communication. The greatest injustice a parent can do to their children and themselves is ignore their intuition when something feels wrong, and I was sad to see the authors encouraging this. In addition, I'm unaware of any lactation training that either author has, but they also encourage night weaning at 3 months of age. Anyone with even a smidgen of lactation training knows what a bad idea this is, and I would encourage readers to go elsewhere for accurate advice, such as La Leche League.

All in all it's a decent book, like many books you take some information and you leave some.
3113672
As a psychotherapist, I was drawn to this book hoping to gain insight into the many young women/clients/friends, etc. who are having such a totally different, and negative, experience mothering that I did.  The author is the age of my oldest daughter, and yes, my three daughters were brought up to "be all they can be,"  to reap the benefits of the Feminist movement, Title 9, etc. What they have shared with me is the lack of emphasis on the importance of relationship with others that can get missed when one is so goal/career/self motivated.  I believe this extends to the challenge of mothering in this day and age, which as the author so clearly points out from many perspectives, is not a short-term, goal-driven activity, nor is it a contest, nor should one attempt it in isolation.  When I purchased this book I was excited by the author's credentials, and as I began reading, I was impressed by her intelligence and diligent research.  However, as I progressed through the material, I was disappointed that I had to wade through her anger on so many topics, and her dismissal of the new biological research documenting the importance of the relationship with the mother in brain development (Daniel Siegal and Alan Shore, for example). I applaud her conclusion that what we are in deed facing a huge societal dilema: how can women develop themselves to their fullest potential and/or fully contribute to the improvement of our world/culture/community and sucessfully parent simultaneously?  I don't think we have the answers yet.  I see the pain of this generation of mothers daily, and I hear about the problems of their children through teachers, nannies, day care workers and community activity providers who are trying to provide reparative experiences.  Perhaps this book serves us by  voicing a new dialogue that we all need to engage in, but it is the voice of someone caught in the maddness and sense of betrayal, not someone who has come to any sort of peace or acceptance with the personal, interpersonal and societal challenges of "growing" another human being.
1572513
I ordered this book after reading a positive review of it in Adoptive Families magazine.  I am a mom of a 3 year old son who I adopted at birth, and I am always on the lookout for positive children's books on the topic of adoption.

I wanted to love this book, but found that reading it made me very uncomfortable.  I had a hard time figuring out exactly why until I read the review here by "Another Mom" -- I think she really hits the nail on the head.

The adoptive mom in this book is really missing the point when she responds to her child's statement "You know, mom, you're not my real mother".  Instead of launching into a long list of the wonderful things she does for her child ("What do you mean, my darling -- of course I'm you're real mother -- would a real mother let you have 20 bandaids when you only need one" etc, etc), she should stop at "What do you mean, my darling?" -- and let her child speak, then respond to the child's concerns.

About half way through the book, we do finally get to the child's concern ("I know you love me, Mom, but why don't you look like me?").  When I got to this part, I thought, "phew, finally!" -- and the mom does give a brief answer about not being her child's birth mother -- but then she waltzes right back into the litany of wonderful things she does for her child.  The whole issue of her child's adoption and her feelings about it barely get touched.

This books strikes me as a more appropriate response to another adult who is rude enough to tell an adoptive parent that they're not a "real" parent -- in that case, the litany of wonderful, parent-like things that we adoptive parents do would be far more appropriate.  Or, if this book were simply entitled "What Mothers Do", without the adoption angle, I might think it was ok (this is the main reason I'm giving the book 2 stars instead of one).  The activities are all cute and heartwarming, but they completely miss the point.

If you're looking for a book that actually DEALS with the child's feelings about being adopted transracially and looking different from their parents -- while still treating the subject in a relatively positive way -- I recommend "Families are Different" by Nina Pellegrini, instead of this book.
3248652
When I first read this book, I thought it was a great book and I was determined to follow the book.  After I gave birth, I found its advice too rigid and for some reason, I was afraid to follow its advice and put my baby on a strict schedule.  I'm glad that I went with my instincts and decided to pick up my baby whenever she cried (as a newborn - under 4 months) and nursed her whenever she cried (something the authors frown upon).  I'm also glad that I didn't wake up my baby when she was sleeping just to put her on a schedule.  (I do now that she's older to establish a nap and bedtime routine.)  When babies are that young, a mother should follow the baby's cues.  Nursing your baby frequently also increases your milk production - a main concern for new mothers.  So go ahead, pick up your newborn whenever she cries and put her to the breast!  Don't ever be afraid to do that!  This book gave me a lot of guilt and yet at the same time I was afraid to follow its advice.  After doing some research on the web and finding some alarming information about the book, I felt a new freedom to care for my baby as my instincts were telling me to - giving her lots of TLC!  A better book I would recommend is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth.
4619714
Not crazy about this book. I appreciate the format they choose. Each section starts with What the Mother is going through, what the baby is going through, and what you are going through. Which is nice. I like the suggestions of what a man (or partner) can do to help the mother get through the pregnancy as comfortable has possible. But I hate the poor me attitude. I am a soon to be father my only concern is my wife and child. Its not about me. It's about my baby and baby's mama. I don't need people to ask how Im coping with pregnancy. And that's what this book suggests. I would like to see this more focused on, "Be a man and support your pregnant partner. Here's how."
3024313
If you are someone just coming to the idea that natural childbirth is best, its an important work (thus the 4 stars).

I appreciated the intentions of this book, but it was not my bag stylistically. I already think natural/home childbirth is probably ideal (haven't done it yet)--and that a woman's intentions and psychology play a central role, so a lot of this book was kind of elementary to me. I didn't need the effusive justifications and hand-holding to get past the OB paradigm. This may be nitpicking, but it did get in my way: I am also a voracious high-level reader and thought the writing could have used more polish.
3123065
Children that are abused often become promiscuous and make bad decisions, but I didn't like reading about her sexual escapades.  It must have had an affect on the rest of her life and I wish she could have talked about how her early life led to her wanting to be pregnant.  I think any therapist would have tried to get her to see the connection.  It is just more than her loving how she felt when she was pregnant.
2665116
I think this book might be very useful for some, it just wasn't for me.  It seems like she's primarily writing this for women who haven't dealt with their feelings surrounding abortion for years, and that's not me.  The langauge used in this book also wasn't for me.  I don't really need euphamisms, I like directness.  But, again, it's a personal thing.
2228587
For a new mom with super sensitive nipples this material is really rough!! Not soft at all! The Bravado tank in Babies R us was MUCH softer. It makes me wonder if this was a knock off? If your nipples are sensitive or sore in the early weeks this is NOT a good choice.
1098154
This is the first online book review I have ever written.

Although there is some interesting info in this book, I was so disgusted with Weissbluth's answer to a woman's question about her baby vomitng from crying (page301) that I had to WARN LOVING MOTHER'S who may be looking for a peaceful solution to their baby's sleep issues.

Here is his answer: "HOWEVER, IF THE VOMINTING ALWAYS OCCURS I THINK YOU WILL WANT TO ALWAYS GO IN TO CLEAN HER PROMPTLY AND THEN LEAVE HER AGAIN. IF THE VOMITING IS IRREGULAR AND OCCASIONAL YOU SHOULD TRY WAITING UNTIL AFTER YOU THINK SHE IS DEEPLY ASLEEP BEFORE CHECKING AND THEN QUICKLY CLEAN HER IF NEEDED."

ATTENTION MOM'S: Read the NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION by Elizabeth Pantley. It makes you feel good about the peaceful approach to a peaceful nights sleep. AND IT WORKS!

It doesn't feel "right" to me to make my innocent precious baby puke herself to sleep. If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. There are other ways.

It is not your baby's fault that it doesn't know how to get to sleep on it's own. We taught them to rely on our loving touch because they needed us. Now that they are a bit older and we've run out of patience, should we throw them in there crib to figure it out for themselves or HELP tehm RELEARN to sleep on their own?

I say help them relearn in a peaceful way.

I am speaking on behalf of your sweet baby, please try the NO CRY SLEEP SOLUITION by Elizabeth Pantley first. Be patient. It works and your baby deserves it.

PS I have NO affiliation with the NO Cry Sleep Solution except being a fan of the book.
623660
I've just been reading all the reviews and it's quite sad to see and feel the anger going on here.  Breastfeeding or bottlefeeding is a mother's personal choice and I think mothers should be respected on whatever decision they make  in regards to feeding choices for their infants.  What a sad situation in this society to have people "feed in fear", feel guilty and throw insults at each other for fear of the wrath of either side.
91465
I absolutely LOVE some parts of this book but question the push this book seems to have for maternal custody.
1018222
The only method that worked to soothe my daughter was being held against my chest and bounced while walking around. But this had to be done continuously. If stopped at all, she would scream-cry until she turned purple and stopped breathing. It wasn't as simple as the 5 S's and just gently laying her down to sleep peacefully. She hated the swing, hated the car seat, hated every single type of pacifier we tried. Stomach sleeping helped when we eventually tried it at 5.5 weeks, but other than that we had to hold and bounce continuously. Eventually we did cry it out. Before my daughter was born we felt confident, armed with these techniques. Once she was here, we felt very angry and mislead by how quickly and easily the babies in the DVD were soothed. For most normal babies, these techniques probably do work very well. But for my daughter, on the extreme end of the fussiness/colic spectrum, this was useless.
4651677
I don't exactly agree with this type of therapy, kind of brainwashing, some kids just need time to flourish on their own. Maybe good for some. Not very good for very sensitive children.
2924895
Firstly, remember that there is NO one size fits all approach for babies.  If your baby isn't sleeping and wants to be held all the time, won't feed on schedule and sleeps at unpredictable times then maybe that is what is right for your little individual.  You are not in control of your baby's reactions.  If that's the case, trying to follow the advice in this book will likely drive you insane.  I think that Gina does herself a disservice by using such militant language such as "no later than" and "must",  It makes you feel that if your baby isn't doing this then something is wrong.

I did find parts of the advice useful though.  The 2 key points I took from this book which were very helpful are:

1.  Newborn babies don't always wake up to feed, sometimes you might need to wake them.  My baby was waking for food every 4 hours but then would get such terrible wind.  When I started waking her for 3 hourly feeds she was less hungry and therefore less frantic at the breast and would get much less wind.

2.  Newborn babies don't know the difference between day and night.  If they are sleeping all day and being awake all night feeding, maybe they have their day and night upside down and you can use the routines to teach them that day is for napping and eating and playing, and night is for sleep with one or two feeds to keep your tiny tummy full.

There was a lot in this book, however, that I just found too much.  Like giving an 8 week old baby cooled boiled water with peach juice in it instead of offering them the breast!  And ensuring that their room is completely dark and you have to use a blackout curtain.  And avoiding eye contact with your baby at night.  It - like may books out there - often talks about a baby as though they aren't a human being with emotional needs!  The expressing schedule also didn't work for me - it stimulated my milk production far too much and I had problems with oversupply.  Gina also doesn't provide alternatives to her routines, so when she says to put the baby down for his nap while he is still drowsy and shut the door, she doesn't tell you what you ought to do if he then screams the house down.

Ultimately this book is worth a read if you are looking for some guidance on trying to establish a routine, but don't panic if you aren't following it to the letter.  You can still get benefit by trying to base your day on her suggested routines, but remember that you cannot control your baby - only suggest a pattern to his/her day.

If you prefer a softer approach I would highly recommend reading "Sleeping Like a Baby" by Pinky McKay.

Remember to enjoy your baby - they are small for such a short time.  Cuddling a tiny baby to sleep is not the end of the world, they spent 9 months living inside your body, it's no wonder they find sleeping in a cot a bit of an adjustment!
759618
The title requires some translation: by "a safe birth," the authors mean "safe from the interference of doctors and nurses," and by "the childbirth experience you want," they mean childbirth with a minimum of interference from doctors or nurses, which they claim is the way most women want it. If you already know that's what you want, this book may seem a bracing pep talk on how to talk back to the medical establishment. However, if you're either unsure how you feel or, worse, if you actually think you'd like some medicinal pain relief during what's widely agreed to be the most painful experience in most women's lives, this book is not for you. I'm not sure how they selected the women they surveyed on birth preferences, but considering that they quoted only about 1 woman who actually wanted drugs rather than having them forced upon her by evil doctors, I have my doubts about their selection methods. In my own experience, I have yet to come upon a woman who got the sort of athletic satisfaction out of the unmitigated pain of labor that seems so common among their interviewees. Most of the women I know seem to think pain hurts, and it'd be nice to have less of it.
The authors claim that interventions by doctors (all sorts of pain medications, inducing labor, episiotomy, and especially caesarean sections) only make childbirth more dangerous for both mother and baby. This seems highly dubious to me, because far more women and babies died during childbirth before these techniques were invented. They back up all their conclusions by citing scientific studies, but neither of them is a scientist, a doctor, a nurse, a public health specialist, an epidemiologist, or a midwife, so I doubt they really have the qualification to do the kind of scientific analysis of birth technologies that they claim to be doing, and I strongly suspect them of cherry-picking studies that support their ideological convictions and ignoring evidence to the contrary.
In addition, a book written in 1992 about childbirth choices is likely to be completely outdated for women giving birth in the age of Damaged Care, I mean Managed Care. To give you a hint of the problem, while the authors mention HMOs, they feel the need to define the term. The health care world has changed, and many of the options they describe may not be options any more.