Absolute corker of a plot
921077
Brilliantly clever, beautifully written, with an absolute corker of a plot - you won't be able to put this one down!
Not sure I want to go into hospital anytime soon though...
428163
Weirdo super-villains who are scrapings from the bottom of the mutant barrel verses an insane ex-Nazi scientist. A plot so full of cliches it needs dialog balloons. Guns, explosions and diabolical traps. Can it get any better? Highly recommended.
3513488
Chicken Chicken is another entry I actively avoided as a kid. The name and the cover gave no suggestion of quality. The farm setting is exactly the place no city bumpkin like myself wanted to visit. The plot -- transforming into a chicken -- sounds awful. It is awful. It's also disgusting and silly and really, really fun.

Like How I Learned to Fly, this one was a complete surprise, particularly given its reputation as a series lowpoint. One thing it has going for it is how focused the plot and characterization are: Siblings Crystal and Cole cause accidental mischief against a young goth woman who lives alone with only her cat for company. Vanessa -- a witch -- casts a spell on them for their poor manners, leaving the two heroes with the words 'chicken chicken.'

Pretty soon -- and this is where it gets disgusting and uncomfortable and fantastic -- both Crystal and Cole find themselves transforming into chickens. The process takes days, dragging out the grotesqueness of the situation. Crystal's lips slowly harden to a bone-like consistency, pushing forward on her face (and making for an alarming amount of clicking whenever she tries to speak); Cole's having trouble talking without a cascade of clucking interrupting his sentences; they're both having to slowly and painfully remove feathers that are sprouting by the hour. And, of course, no one believes them despite the physicality of it all.

The entire story is focused around the horrors of their transformations, and the attempts to overcome it. In some ways, it's a rehash of the earlier My Hairiest Adventure in exploring the horrible changes of puberty and how that can wreck kids' social lives -- just in a much more interesting way. Many of the lesser series entries have trouble staying so focused before inserting unrelated happenstance and random events, so this one sticking so close to the two heroes and their woes is a 'pleasant' surprise.

Also, it's incredibly, disgustingly gross. Blegh.
4956177
Begorra!  Saints presarve us, if t'isn't an Irish medieval romance!  And yes, they pretty much talk just like the Lucky Charms leprechaun in this book.  Never mind that it's very likely they didn't use the phrase "begorra" in medieval times.  How would you know you're in Ireland if the characters don't say things like this?  Here's how: researching medieval Ireland and coming up with something other than silly phrases used endlessly and a heroine with "copper colored curls."  I decided to read this book because I'd never heard of a romance set in this time and place, and the first few pages have the hero talking about his Tanist.  Aha!  I'll learn what a Tanist is, and other things in Irish medieval culture, I thought.  Wrong.  The book is a loooonnnng, dreary, contrived soap opera which starts off in a "Taming of the Shrew" sort of way when the hero attempts to tame the wild and wooly heroine who wears "trousers" and is an expert archer.  What neither of them knows is that she's half-Norman.  They spend most of the book hurling "witty" insults at one another, falling into holes together, and taking each other's clothes off in the unlikeliest -- and most ridiculous-- places.  There's absolutely no dramatic or emotional tension between them, but the author strives  mightily to keep the pot boiling by having the heroine behaving like a spoiled brat and taking offense at everything the hero says and does.  She  goes storming off.  He goes storming off in the other direction.  After a bit of pouting on her part and some running off to raid the Normans on his part, and they just can't stay away from each other another moment.  And they're back at it again.  Naturally, she's stunningly beautiful with "generous breasts" and he's "magnificently honed and hard-muscled" and the sex is nothing less than spectacular each and every time.  The glacial pace of this novel was excruciating.  It seemed to go on and on with nothing driving the plot forward.  Which gives you plenty of time to find all kinds of questionable things - like the hero on his "huge black stallion."  Didn't the Irish ride small, fast horses, also called ponies?  And why are wolves always ready to attack -- it's summer and I'd have to assume there are no starving wolves ready to attack people with plenty of wild boar running around?  And the "dwelling houses" are always mentioned, but never described.  Why not? Very little except the stunning appearances of the hero and heroine was ever described.  Which is a shame, as this would have been a great opportunity for the author to have shared some of the social history of life in medieval Ireland.  Instead, she took the easy way out and churned out just another mediocre "romance" novel in which the romance fell flat.  One star because it seemed to take me FOREVER to read this book and I'm sure I'll want all that time back when I'm 80 years old.
3162961
If you've ever seen the show LOST, you should know exactly what to expect from this book. With a vague plot and tons of plot armour to make any action infallible, this book has no reason to follow any sort of sense. Each plot "twist" is more like yet another random occurrence that shows up to make you wonder if anything in this book is sacred at all. And here's the answer: no. Nothing matters in this book, it doesn't follow any rules. It's not like a typical sci-fi that defines the rules of it's world and has some fun with it, this book goes anywhere it wants without any real flow. It starts plots and then puts them down if they aren't silly enough. There's not even a conclusion to leave you anywhere, just tons of unanswered questions, plot holes, nonsense, and all of it was done by both aliens and god to justify it.
4271022
I give it a 5 + for an excellently executed plot - great characters with much human realism but am disappointed with the common barnyard language. I suggest you use a nice black ink pen to get rid of the tripe.  Does D. think we run with the common herd?

Suddenly faced with her "mission" in jeapordy, Brie is starting to worry about her sister, Shelby's disappearance.  Is it really a romantic get-a-way?  Who is Johnny Miller? Why did he move from Breezie to Shelby?  Who is John Derringer?  Where does he fit into the organization?

Sabrina Sullivan just waltzes into Theo Howell's Monterey estate and causes an upset with Zack Lansing, the head of Perimeter.  Nobody checked her out.

The twist and turns of the plot keep you on your toes as we try to find some logic in all the strange happenings.

Pluto Zenner, an assassin, hit on one of Perimeter's clients.  Sully Sullivan, seemingly already a legend, takes out Pluto.

Now Adonis Zenner must take out Sullivan to keep face and threatens the whole family.

Uncle Theo is more than willing to save the two Sullivan daughters and send them under cover.  And keeps tabs on them.

Apparently Zack knows about them and so does Connor and the crew.  Yet Connor lets Johnny make contact with the girls.

Well now we are all on the hunt for Shelby with Brianna and Zack yet there is something fishy going on.  Breezie has this feeling that she is missing out on something but she just can't connect the problems.

And when the arrogance of two people clash there are lies and subterfuges and a bit of humor.  Zack and Sabrina just about top each other with their investigations.  Yet someone is out-smarting them.

With the two girls ideas that they can cope with any eventuallity, well, Shelby sure gets suckered in.  Sabrina is not too far behind in letting her loyalities color her thinking.

It is a great story but we sure could do without the barnyard language - must we suffer the common degrading foul usage of the common herd? It is an insult to our maturity! What ever happened to "Hell!" at this point, it is much more manly.

The story itself, is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED but with a black-out.
2294686
I thought I would never get this book finished.  At 70 chapters (and an epilogue) and over 400 pages, this book was entirely too long.  It was actually a good plot that got lost in all the excess (and unneeded) verbiage.  Set in the 1600s, a young girl with a penchant for philosophy believes that she is unattractive and will remain a spinster...after all, she is almost 18!  She has a good dowry and an inheritance from her grandfather that she believes will lead fortune hunters to her door.  Yes, Violet has issues.  Moving into the rundown property next door is a handsome Viscount who has temporary charge of his niece.  Ford has just been jilted and only wants to work on his watch designs.  The first portion of the book is actually interesting.  But then the remainder of the thing is taken up with major silliness.  The dialogue and actions by most of the characters is just too modern.  The parents see their daughter sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night with her suitor and are okay with it?  Hmm, I think not.  The plot seems to get away from the author and wanders off into different directions that only serve as distractions.  It took me two weeks to finish this book and I can easily read a book a day.  I kept putting it down and reading something else and then going back to it for a while.  I will not be reading any more of the series.
1571575
My headline exaggerates a bit, but only Dickens has more plot turns and revelations. And the passion of Sue and Maud is intense although graphic only once. This is a tour de force.  I have read Paying Guests, too, but prefer this book because of the plot twists and grubby settings.
4856754
I was a cop of some sort for over 30 years, and don't believe I've ever read a book with such a far-fetched plot or cast of characters.  From the judge to his high-profile law partner, virtually everyone is a pedophile.  If they're not a pedophile, then they've were molested when they were the operative age, which is conveniently about the age of several dozen children who come to the USA via some underground pipeline.  Mr. Bishop truly does a great job of developing characters and building the story.  However, the complexity of the story and the subtle nuances he continually throws in finally reaches a point where, if you don't read it all in one setting or a few nights, you completely lose track of what...is happening.  I certainly liked some parts of the book, but the cover describes Mr. Bishop as "the new Joseph Wambaugh", or something similar, and that is certainly not the case....
2611018
This novel is a big improvement over its predecessor, "The Vintage Caper."  That novel seemed to be written because the author needed to write something quickly to pay his bills, and he produced a contrived, boring and ridiculous plot that was a complete waste of time to read.  In this novel, he brings back many of the same characters and, surprisingly, the result is much better. The plot, involving real estate, is much more credible than the earlier plot which included sneaking around wine cellars. Mayle will probably never surpass the quality of his nonfiction books, but in this one you can clearly feel his love for the region, especially the food.  If you need something to read to pass the time while you're sitting in an airport or on the beach, this novel is ideal.  It won't take up much space, it's an easy read regardless of any distracting surrounding noise, and it will give you a few hours of enjoyment.
561367
This plot was completely unbelievable. The first book was brilliant. The second was very disturbing, but believable. I don't know how the author got so off track. I found it unconvincing that a psychopath would date a woman as a cover story and that her kids would turn out to be young psychopaths and that he would "love" them. But I could wait and see on all that improbability. But an ancient demon that can remote control Dexter and a number of other people? Really? I am so glad I borrowed this from the library. If I had paid I would want my money back.
3884545
OK.  So the CEO of Three Initial Corporation has hatched a fiendish plot to drive global warming so he can sell more air conditioners, make all the drinking water in the world radioactive so he can sell more bottled water, and turn the entire Amazon rain forest into a ten-story parking garage so his customers will have more room to park their gas-guzzling SUVs.  The hero of our story uncovers this fiendish plot and teams up with an environmentalist lawyer and a newspaper reporter to .... No, wait.  That's the plot of every *other* eco-thriller written in the past thirty years.  Michael Crichton, bless 'im, turns this story on its head and makes the real threat to the environment ... Well, this plot hangs together so tightly that I can't even really summarize it without giving away major spoilers.  Suffice it to say that in "State of Fear," Crichton deconstructs all the usual environmental stereotypes as if they were so many tinkertoy slap-togethers.  As they like to say these days: "Everything you know is wrong."

Crichton has delivered yet another skilfully plotted, almost convincing, page-turner in the tradition of "Jurassic Park."  It's one surprise after another in a complicated tale with a dizzying number of strands that only Crichton himself could hold together.

This great piece of mind candy has only two real flaws.  The first is that Crichon has probably finally gone overboard with the extensive research that he puts into his work.  The characters lecture one another at length on the science (and lack thereof) behind global warming.  We are treated to chart after chart of this and that set of data, about a factor of ten more than we got in Jurassic Park.  This is maybe the second novel I've ever read in my life that had a bunch of scholarly footnotes scattered throughout.  But, you've still got to hand it to Crichton, he really had to have guts to present this material, largely debunking the greenhouse effect, in any form whatsoever.  And if you're interested in this stuff, as I am, you can still sort of switch gears during the academic lectures, absorb the material, and then say, "and now, back to our story."

The other flaw is the same flaw that has really hounded all of Crichton's fiction: characters.  The guy's characters are always rather wooden and two-dimensional.  This is usually OK because the real stars of his shows are extra-terrestrial viruses or velociraptors (actually, deinonychae, as the cognoscenti know).  But in "State of Fear" the focus is on actual human beings trying to stop other actual human beings from wreaking global havoc.  And Crichton just isn't quite up the task of making them fully believable.

But it's still a good story.  A page-turner that keeps you guessing and thinking.  And, with a little help from some good Hollywood writers, the makings of another great movie.  Lots of interesting info, even if not delivered in the way we might like.  Word of caution: If you're a committed greenhouse believer, this book will make your blood boil so hot that global warming will be the least of your worries.
2866311
In terms of plot this is the best of the four Dave Gurney books. The mystery is a deep one and the author gives clues that will allow the reader to figure out the ending. But the clues are hidden and subtle. I admit that I missed several of them. So the ending was a surprise. But a very interesting one.
  I really enjoyed the detective story part of the book. However, there's way too much psychobabble in this one. Gurney's wife, Madeleine, has become one of the most annoying characters in modern fiction. She buzzes through the story like an annoying mosquito one can't swat away, generally getting in the way and spouting vacuous psychobabble at every turn. She keeps trying to get Dave to go to a shrink to find out the deep hidden reason for his interest in investigating crimes. He ends up going and gets told "Nothing in life matters more than love". Just the kind of meaningless New Age crap Madeleine gushes over. Happily, said shrink has terminal cancer so we won't have to put up with his prattle in any future volume. Madeleine is the kind of annoying nitwit who would find that silly "Eat Prey Love" book "uplifting and profound."  One can only hope that in the next Dave Gurney book (and I certainly hope there is one!) Madeleine is side-lined. Or rendered mute.
52786
How many holes can a plot have? Well there are too many to count in this novel. Let's start with the fact that when on a business trip the heroine wakes up to finds a co-worker in her hotel room uninvited. He gives her a tablet to help with her migraine. This 46 year old supposedly intelligent woman takes it and doesn't wonder why it's not wrapped in anything or in a bottle so she can see it's "legitimate". She then shows him out, dead locks her door and takes the pill and guess what -- it's a roofie and she's raped. But how the perpetrator came back into the room through the dead lock is never explained.

Uncertain something happened she does nothing. But then the nightmares come and she receives an email from the same co-worker about the roofie but she tell no one and does nothing! Nor does she do anything about the fact that this co-worker shows a nude lewd image of her to everyone in the office! And this is despite the fact that she is dealing with a sexual harrassment case at work. Our heroine says nothing -- not even to the husband she adores. She then finds she is pregnant and desperate to have a child she is delighted not caring if it is the result of the rape. However, the protagonist is the carrier of a rare disease that kills and knowing this she has "clean eggs" that have been checked and put to one side to impregnate her. Yet she allows herself to get pregnant naturally and does no tests to see if the baby is infected, and of course it is so she kills it rather than let it suffer the pain the disease will inflict. And she does all this without going to the doctor to check if this deadly disease is what the baby is really suffering from or of telling the husband whom she not only adores but also  leans on. Quite why the husband -- who is the main caretaker of the family doesn't take the child to the doctor when she misses the appointment is made no clearer than how the co-worker got through a room which was locked to rape her.

Basically I wonder who edited this plot which is extremely unrealistic. The only thing less realistic or making less sense than the plot is the heroine. No one could be quite as stupid as this protagonist let alone a person who is in a position of power and holds down a well paid job. And so I would not recommend that you waste your time with this book.

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507993
Thank goodness I read this on a relative's Kindle, otherwise I would have been angry about paying 12.99 for this thing.

There are only two problems with the book that prevented me from rating this higher: plot and characters.  If you don't mind a lame political consipiracy and barely drawn characters with silly names (Lou "Welcome" and Anthony Brite, nicknamed "Notso"...get it?), and you don't care how much you spend for "bestsellers", then you'll be fine with this book.

First, the plot: mysterious events start occurring in the small Virginia town of Knight's Ridge characterized by people behaving in an irrational and completely crazy manner.  Dr. Welcome is the first genius to start putting together that there might be a common pattern stemming from the potential distribution of genetically altered corn.  Apparently, this is a test run for the bigger plan to sell the food to the Chinese and Lou must work with the White House' First Lady, an insider within the evil company, and locals to stop the bad produce from leaving the country. Therer are a couple of issues here -- if everyone is ingesting the corn, why hasn't the whole town gone nuts and started behanving irrationally? Apparently it only affects the key characters of this book, as if the food was genetically altered to only occur to specifically selected characters within Palmer's book .  The description of the process for creating the corn is poor science fiction at best and involves some silly combination of termite DNA and the corn.  The plot would have been a whole lot better if the government had deliberately let China get the produce then watch the events unfold from there!

Second, characters.  Lou Welcome.  Really. He's a divorced physician with questionable record who loves his one daughter and really cares for his very kind, beautiful (of course) ex-wife and attracts the First Lady.  The daughter is 13 going on 30, and is so extremely wise, giving sage advice to her dad at every turn.  Notso Bright? There's one spot where he's introduced as Bright, then another Brite.  Love name changes, good attention to detail here.  The bad guy is a typical bad guy out to make millions, the hero is an unlikely one who saves the country, the good guy you think is good is really bad, etc. Ho-hum and predictable.

I expect better from Mr. Palmer and have enjoyed previous works.  If this was .99 or 2.99, it would have been a better value.  This effort will make me borrow the next book as well -- won't be so hasty to click the "buy" button here.
716899
This book has a strong plot. Others have already complained about the stilted dialogue, so you've been warned!
How feasible would it be to actually come up with a contraption like the one taking center-stage in this book? Dunno, but for the sake of the story let's suspend our doubts. However, the occasional allusions to protagonist Kathy's strong religious beliefs felt like a brazen attempt to attract a certain audience. When an author is killing players who have done no harm, references to omnipotent protection are unattractive.
College student and cocktail waitress Kathy trips over a dying man on her way home and is handed a flash drive and given instructions that her tech-savvy roommate deciphers. However, she is unable to crack the code of the flash drive itself.
Meanwhile, two groups are out to get the flash drive from Kathy - one of which is particularly unscrupulous. The story takes off from there.
4060934
I am amazed anyone could say this is a good movie. The plot is completely ridiculous and all over the place. Dracula spends half the movie trying to bring his daughter back to life, then in the space of two seconds he inexplicably changes his mind and dumps her in the canal. The first forty minutes seemed like a good setup, but the rest is just ridiculous. Elvira is usually good for a laugh, but this is one movie even she can't make worth suffering through.

The dubbing is indeed as bad as everyone says--a fight scene in which no one even remotely connects fist to flesh is particularly hilarious. The guys swing at the air while one moans for no reason. It's like an Ed Wood film in Spanish. In fact, this Drac bears some resemblance to the Lugosi stand-in in PLAN 9.

Not even cheesy fun. Just boring. But yeah, for the guys, there are some topless women. And the single creative touch is what the mirror shows when Karen hits the sheets with Drac.