Imaginative story, writing leaves much to be desired
928602
Five stars for Mr. Wheeler's imagination and insight into human nature, but one star for the writing in this trilogy. I did manage to plow through the series because I was interested in the story, but it was tedious and I often found myself cringing at the bad grammar and poor sentence structure. I would not recommend this series to another reader because of the writing - there seems to be talent there but it is frustrating in its inconsistency. And where was his editor during all this, I wonder?
681862
This book tells a fascinating story about a serious topic, but the writing leaves something to be desired. Michael Schofield obviously wrote this book himself instead of hiring a ghostwriter experienced in writing. He makes several key mistakes that greatly decreased my enjoyment of the book.

First, he doesn't develop the characters very much. In particular, he doesn't provide a well-rounded portrait of Jani. Presumably, the very point of the book is to engender sympathy for his daughter, who suffers from schizophrenia. But he neglects to present the viewer with Jani's positive traits. We learn about her hallucinations, her delusions, her propensity for spontanous self-harm and violence towards others, her complete inability to wait for anything she wants, and her general defiance. She sounds like a completely unlikable child. Schofield should have included a few scenes where she says or does something considerate or kind in order to establish that there's more to Jani than the symptoms of her schizophrenia.

Second, he needs to spend more time establishing for the reader that these ARE symptoms of schizophrenia as opposed to signs of bad character. To my non-expert-in-psychology eyes, a lot of what Jani does is more an indication of severe brattiness than severe mental illness. Maybe he could have included some additional quotes from several of Jani's doctors, attesting to a psychiatric instead of personality-based explanation for her behavior.

Third, Schofield has an annoying tendency to rely excessively on free-standing quotes, by which I mean quotes in paragraphs by themselves without any "I said" or "Jani said." This practice sometimes made it hard for me to know who was speaking.

These issues detracted greatly from the quality of the book. That said, I do wish the best for Schofield, Jani and the rest of the family. Their lot is not an easy one. In particular, I hope that Jani learns how not to hit others. If she continues on with that sort of behavior, she will either eventually face charges for assault, or someone who does not understand her condition is going to hit her back.
328707
The imaginative premise of this book was fun, and I really enjoyed that. However, on another level, it had certain elements that kept taking me out of the moment. Incorrect grammar that should have been caught in editing and the formatting for the Kindle edition were distracting. Thought changes indicated by a dash were the exact same as the dash between compunded words which caused me to have to re-read many parts to understand what was happening. Time and location changes within a chapter had literally no space between paragraphing, again causing me to have to re-read to understand that a change had occured with no indications. Also, childish names and too many child-like creations in the imagined world created a book that felt that it was written for young adult fiction, but the themes were clearly meant for an older audience with more life experience and culture understanding. I would like to see more from this author, but with a better editor.
4628214
It's a reasonable story - but (presuming it did not have one) needed an editor.
Much of the story does not really flow comfortably - resulting in an 'awkward' read.
Characters tend to pop into the story unannounced and unexplained and the author uses differing names for some characters.
Still - the plot line is different and imaginative so: held my interest until the rather unsatisfactory/incomplete ending (the story just suddenly stops).
1286751
I agree with many of the reviewers who gave this story 2 stars.  It is not quite ready for publication, although it does contain many promising ideas.  The dialogue needs a lot of work, as do the descriptions of characters' reactions to one another.  I really wanted to like this story and these characters, but I could not because of some of the stylistic things the author did.
3440358
Meh. Good premise, wonderful imaginative characters, but feel the writer could have done more with it... Sort of anti climactic and too many strange scenes that took away from it.
841337
Like others, I was not really taken in by the plot til about page 200 or so. The writing is terrible, however, I am mostly glad I finished it, as the story itself was a good tale.
Carr has created an interesting and original world and a good story, with many good plot elements and features. However, besides the convoluted sentences that break every rule of story-writing you've ever heard (passive voice, long convoluted sentences with subordinate clauses, telling instead of showing, preset tense and random shifts in tense, etc) - and furthermore, you will indeed note, this sentence is much constructed, in both syntax and diction, like those in the story, for what sort of reviewer would I be, dear shopper, if I did not give you an example of what this book has in store for you- the conceit of this taking place historically is farcical. NOT only because of fantasy elements, but because even the allegedly historical stuff like names and metallurgy are far-fetched. So Carr should have abandoned the conceit and just wrote it as fantasy. There were gripping moments, but I could not wait to finish it. Having finished it, I do not regret having grown to know its world so deeply, or its story, which is haunting, however I do regret the slog of often poor writing I had to endure. Also, it should be half as long as it is, too many tangents. Most of the characters are not complex, though I find this more forgivable that the writing. Also the ending seems to lack a certain completeness.

It gets 2 stars for the complexity of the world-building and the essence of the story/plot/mysteries, which leave an exotic, haunting flavor with me that I can't deny is special. The only reason it gets the 3rd star from me is the story of the scholar Caliphestros, which is put in the middle of the book as an "interlude". I was engrossed while reading that part, because the writing was more immediate and the character/s and subject more fascinating.
2000003
I'm glad I was able to read this book on kindle unlimited. I would have been disappointed if I had paid for it.

When I first started reading it, I was hooked. The book had all the potential to be a really great read. The story was unique and intriguing, but I couldn't help but get frustrated from the get go with the writing. There was no depth and it was also very lazy. The author did not take the time to describe the characters features, so you could visualize. It was difficult to understand who was staying what. Normally when you put something in parenthesis, you start off with so and so said, or at the very least he or she said, but it would just jump from one statement to the next without any introduction of the speaker. I actually had to re read a lot of paragraphs and statements, because they were just so vague and poorly executed.

The ending was the absolute worst. Everybody knows that the ending is the most important part of the book. The author clearly lost steam at the end and rushed the ending. How predictable could you be?

Stories like these make me wish I had a better imagination, because if I had thought up a great idea for a story like the one this book started off with, I definitely would have taken better care to give it the proper ending it rightfully deserved.
3945269
Although the premise of the book is an imaginative story, the telling does not flow smoothly. In addition whoever proof read this book needs a new job.  The bad grammar, misspelled words and missing words added to the difficulty in reading the story
4509153
I found this book a frustrating read. There are so many interesting ideas here, badly let down by the writing.

Any tension in the book (and there is a lot of dramatic action) is undercut by long info dumps about background. Sometimes these are about Art, filling us in on the main characters background, other times its to tell us something essential to our understanding of what has happened. At other times, the action is slowed by Arts long internal dialogues. By the time we get back to the battle at hand, the tension has been sucked away.

The writing is very strange, with many sentences I had to read more than once to understand. For example, at one point we are told that Art is in pain. Then the next sentence states, Trying not to wince even when he breathed, another man came to stand over Art. I think its Art who is trying not to wince, but from the way the sentence is written, perhaps its this other man? Taking only a few bites of his toast and a spoon full of eggs, they were ready to depart. They both ate from the toast and eggs?  the sound so loud Arts ears rattled down to the bones of his neck. I cannot even begin to understand what that sentence means.

We are also often both told and shown Arts emotions, such as Feeling angry, his stomach knotting so that the nourishment had just taken tasted sour The telling kept me one step removed from identifying with Art, and from really caring about what happened to him.

The concept is interesting, and the characters Art meets during his travels are intriguing. As it stands, this book is in dire need of developmental editing. If this were to happen, Id love to read it again. There is a lot of potential here.
2759981
This writer is clearly going places, but he needs to reign himself in.  This book consists of a menagerie of weird artificial creatures and punchy ideas, woven together with an emotionally engaging multi-perspectival narrative.  In hindsight (I read it a few months ago), the ideas really got under my skin, but as a story it just doesn't hang together as well as I'd hoped.  More than a couple of chapters are masterfully executed, but others are vague and unfleshed.  The book runs out of page-turning gas about halfway through.  I got the sense that the author did not know where he was going plot-wise, and just kind of let the story spin out of control.  Still, if you are looking for an intellectual mutagen, this is very worthwhile.
2293710
Some one sentence reviews make me question their validity, so here is an honest review from an impartial reader:

The best thing about this story is the creativity of the plot. It is clear that the author has quite the imagination. Sadly, I found that the actual story fails to do justice to the creativity of the idea behind it.

I realize this is fiction but there were several plot elements that did not make sense to me. If the polar ice caps melted, wouldn't people have to move to higher ground? Instead it is mentioned that the people of europe fled to the middle east as the seas rose. That makes no sense to me. Wouldn't they flee to the alps? If europe was underwater, wouldn't the middle east be underwater too?

Furthermore, the fact that humanity managed to mutate into three separate races in such a short time really stretches my ability to suspend disbelief. The author does not have a realistic viewpoint on how mutation and evolution actually work. The idea that humans could become so different in less than 70 years is ridiculous. The people of america develop gills and don't need to eat, they get nutrients from the water through osmosis, while the people of the middle east grow hard shells to protect them from the UV rays. Its a little to much for me to swallow.

Regarding the suspension of disbelief, the story doesn't take long to veer off into some crazy territory. We quickly learn about the "Illuminators," a race which has been around longer than humans and has been tampering with our DNA since we were apes and is responsible for the "myth of Lucifer." The only ones who knew the truth? The popes. Really. Plus it just seems to get crazier from there as we are introduced to "The Truth Seekers" and "The White Illuminators." Honestly, its a bit much.

Additionally, there are some weird formatting problems with this book. Strange unnecessary boxes surround the title and authors names on the first page. The table of contents looks like an excel document that someone forgot about halfway and never finished. I have no problem with a non-conventional format, but honestly there are so many inconsistencies here that I can't imaging the author did this on purpose.

While I respect the author's creativity I feel like he/she tried too hard to cram too much into this story. I would have liked to see less time spent introducing all the players on this world's stage, and seen better character development from Simon and his mom Mary. I'm not trying to be cruel but I feel like the writing here often lacks polish. To the author- Remember, in writing it is often better to show than to tell.

I award 2 stars for the creative plot and an extra half star because I didn't find any typos. I'll be nice and round that up to 3 stars since amazon doesn't allow for half star ratings.

Although it is possible that dedicated sci-fi enthusiasts might enjoy the creative concepts enough to look past some of this stories shortcomings, I suggest casual readers steer clear of this one.
1636537
I loved the idea of this book--Anne Bonny's story--but there are so many shortcomings in it. Apparently it is based either on a screenplay or on a viewing of a movie about Anne Bonny, probably the best-known of the women pirates, and it reads as such. The writing is journey-manlike and plain. So much more could have been done with this! It is a marvelous story--and that's why I'm giving it 3 stars. It reminds me of the 7-9th grade level reading books, only with more violence in the story.

The cover art is great--one reason I was interested in this book--but as they say, you can't tell a book by its cover. I would love to see the author take this story and flesh it out. While it does help give some definition and personality to Anne, as well as Calico Jack and Mary Read, it is not really a satisfying read.

It's really a shame, because the tale itself has a lot of potential. It just doesn't quite deliver. An "OK" read, with average writing. The story itself makes me give it 4 stars. Originally I rated it 3 stars, but I appreciate the effort the author put into this book.
375849
Some interesting ideas, but oh man was the writing horrible.
54282
The premise and  plot are good; the execution, not so much.  The writer could benefit from a course or two in creative writing, especially in how to write in first person and how to write a steamy love/sex scene. The sentence structure throughout consists primarily of simple and compound sentences. A good editing is sorely needed. I'm left wondering if this was a rookie try at writing a Twilight fanfic back in the day, and then it was turned into fic? More mature writing would have earned  the story 3-4 stars. As it's written now, 2 stars is the best I can give it. The writer seems to be good at the core story elements; she just needs to mature and take some classes.
4801167
Very imaginative, but a waste of imagination. Time and imagination would be better spent on other/better writing. Glad it was free.
3998212
The story itself is somewhat entertaining, just based on the more unusual aspects of the story. But as a novel, the writing is mediocre and the intersection of real elements with fantasy is just absurd - not enough out of the ordinary to be an entirely other world, but none of the details together make sense if it was historical. Read it for free and don't entirely regret the use of time, but I wouldn't pay for it.