Reads like a first draft advertisement
932205
I want to state first and foremost that I love the Fasciablaster, I think that lives have been changed for the better because of this product. However, this book read as a giant advertisement for fasciablaster and Ashley's Facebook page. The book was part "I do great things," part "go to my website for more," and part "I'm going to write another book with more info." It felt like reading a first draft and not a finished product.
3274668
This is, at its roots, an engaging, thoughtful book.  Unfortunately, it reads like a first draft.  The characters aren' t developed and the imagery reads like a high school writing project.  There is also glaring grammer and composition errors which surprised me considering three people edited it.  This really has potential but I think it needs to be polished up, fleshed out and given a second edition if there is any hope of turning it into a series.  With a little more work, education and experience, Watters has the potential to be great writer.
1830174
This book felt like someone scribbled down a dream that made no sense without doing much to convert that dream into a workable novel.  It is written frenetically and does not appear to have been edited much, if at all.

With made-up facts so as to avoid spoilers, here is how the plot development and writing sounded:

"A woman sat next to me at the table. Suddenly I realized she had what I can only describe as a gun! I quickly hatched a plan and ran away. Then I realized she was there to save me. But an alien came in the window and pulled me into his spaceship. Then I realized the alien was really a man in a mask! I jumped out of the spaceship and a man carrying a ficus told me to follow him if I wanted to live. I pulled out my phone and called my friend. Then I saw the woman with the gun was chasing us. Bastards! Bastaaaaaaards!" (yes, he actually does the 'repeated letter for emphasis' thing on page 2)

The other problem is that many of his sentences are simply awkward and do not make sense, either because of violating grammar conventions or misusing adjectives and adverbs.  An example can easily be found on the very first page:  "In the bottom right-hand corner, inexplicably, I noticed a phone number."  Putting aside the misplaced-modifier-style grammar issue here that suggests he himself is in the bottom right-hand corner of the card, how is that inexplicable?  It's inexplicable that a phone number is on a business card, or inexplicable that it's the corner of a card?  It's inexplicable that he noticed a phone number on the card?

Before I checked the publisher, I assumed this book was self- published or came from a very small outfit without much quality control or editing. I was surprised to see the book was from Bantam. Even the descriptions on the title cover and the back of the book are awkward. This was bad enough, and the description of the author is vague enough, that I would honestly not be surprised to find out this book was written by a fantastic and famous author as a joke on bad writing.
1755031
This reads like a first attempt at writing a book.  A fa goofs,  several amateurish things, for example an "epilogue" that was really a prologue.  I thought about not finishing the book, but the story, while lacking originality, was engaging, and the characters were interesting.  So I slogged through.  I'm giving it three stars, mainly to encourage the writer to keep trying (and engage a critical editor before releasing the next work).
1619281
I hate to insult a budding writer but this isn't really a story (by any standards of what a story is: Plot, character development...), much less a well-written story. If Ms. Asad wanted to sell this story on Amazon, she would have done well to learn to write a story before turning this loose on the paying public. If her intent was, instead, to advertise her Mad Hatter shop -- and this does seem to be at least 50% of the motive, here -- then she'd do better to put her energy into more direct advertising. The other two reviewers have got to be friends or relatives-- which is too bad, because I rely on some level of honesty in reviewing. In short, I didn't know it was possible to feel so disappointed in something on which I spent 99 cents.
3594012
Author promises a concise book knowing readers time is valuable and proceeds wth redundant, wordy messages/platitudes with the most redundant being his self-advertisement.
100758
An advertisement excerpt posing as a book.  The idea being to draw you in with a partial story then nab you for a few bucks.  Sleazy.
3863264
Overall, I like the book and find it to be both interesting and having good ideas to offer.  However, it has an air of advertising about it.  It seems like the author was writing for her own publicity and/or customers - like she wants to attract new customers or have her existing customers feel good, rather than present a more rounded and honest/candid sharing of information.
838358
This segment ends with a cliffhanger at Kindle Loc 223 (57%) and took about 10 minutes to read. The remaining 43% was advertising.

If paragraphs aren't properly indented then there at least needs to be double spacing between them. The lack of both indentation and double spacing coupled with numerous editing errors made this segment irritating to read. There was a lack of character and storyline development along with insufficient back story. I won't be finishing this serial.
4141173
Flabby in its words
Matt, "The Rent is Too Damn High"
All fat, no muscle

Balding without style
Scruff and surplus do not cure
Plain deficiencies

Metaphoric eyes
Nearsighted or farsighted
"Prose" out of focus

Dull, uninsightful
Critic without reflection
Basement dweller type.

*If I have the wrong number of syllables or was in any way inarticulate, please be aware this was a mere first attempt/rough draft.  You always want to work with a rough draft.  If Matt had submitted a draft of this book, the editors might have scuttled this waste of my time before it got to the printer, errr, PDF file.
3278238
This is a well written erotic romance novel that was entertaining... But reader beware. This is NOT a story or a trilogy. This is the first 10 chapters of the book. There is no resolution, in fact it is a mere introductory. The author would be wiser to state that this is just a teaser in the description on Amazon, then perhaps readers would be more inclined to forgive her. Despite enjoying the story so far, I shall not continue, I dislike this marketing strategy, it demeans the author's work and gives romance authors a bad name. By all means give your fans a free taste on your website, otherwise charge a reasonable rate for your work. If this had been honestly portrayed I would not have downloaded it- if the full book had been advertised at a price, I would have happily paid for it and probably enjoyed it.
2754995
This really seemed more like when someone makes a idea of what they want to write about. They could have taken this so much further and made it into a actual book. With better writing and some effort this could have been good.
3661439
TO SUM IT UP:  Download the sample to your kindle and see if this is the sort of writing that appeals to you.

First, I must congratulate the author on writing his first novel.  Doubtless it was a lot of work.  The good news is that there is a plot.  But the rest of the news is not so good.  The dialog is very stilted/artificial.  Our author needs to read some Michael Connelly, Lee Child, John D. MacDonald, et. al. to learn about how write dialog.
I understand there is a rule in novel writing - "don't tell them, show them."  There is room for LOTS of improvement here.  Also, lose the magical interventions in the plot (in this case, the angel).  As for the price - ridiculously high.  Even 99 cents on kindle is overpriced.  To ANYONE thinking of reading this, I STRONGLY URGE you to download the sample to your kindle and read that first.  If this style of writing suits you, well, that sort of thing is what makes horse races, isn't it?  This first novel didn't work for me.  One more thing, our author should leave the christianity coda out of his next novel.  If you want to give religious lessons, weave them artistically and subtly into your writing.
2800704
This reads like someone's first draft if they were in a high school creative writing class. It feels like the manuscript was not edited at all, unless it was for spelling and grammar. The first half of the book is nothing but Reid running and thinking about how tired, thirsty, hungry, and confused he is. I'm not kidding. Apart from a couple hour naps here and there, this average 16 year old kid runs for like 2 days straight. Not once does he collapse from exhaustion or even puke.

About halfway through, Reid bumps into some other kids. Now he can have boring conversations with them, flirt with the only girl his age, AND complain about being tired and miserable. All of the characters are flat and one-dimensional, and nothing interesting or unexpected happens with them. (view spoiler) There are some obvious aspects borrowed from Lord of the Flies.

The world doesn't make much sense. The hunters are supernaturally fast and strong, but there is a herd of like 20 kids constantly outrunning and escaping them. How. (view spoiler)

By the end of the story, we don't have any real answers to how the kids got there, why they're there, and who's hunting them. Don't read this.
4834966
My grammatical senses were afire...typos everywhere, misuse of words and scene jumping. The concept of this story is appealing, but the execution is flat. This book reads more like a first draft to what can be a much better and expanded story. It bothered me that the main character curse so much. There is a place for curses, and in Halo's life I can definitely see a need for harsh words, but dropping the f bomb every sentence? It felt juvenile. Halo's personal history also didn't match her behavior. I had a hard time believing her actions and how they related to her story. An abused woman doesn't change over night (over-death in this case) and become an aggressive, foul mouthed creature. It would be nice to see more progression and development of not only Halo, but each person in the tale. I really wanted to like his book, but it lacked so much. I've read better unpublished fan fictions.
3645361
One word sums it up -- short ebook. I finished this book thinking I needed more information and was glad I got it for free. It really seemed like a promotional advertising piece with a little bit of information wrapped in that is probably obtainable on the internet. Not sure that even at 99 cents it is worth it -- it probably should be free all the time...
4068166
Here's the thing. The core ideas would make for a great article in CT or other like publication. Instead the editor puts in so much filler and ephemera so as to create a book out if it. Really disappointed in that. And the authors will refer to themselves by name as to who is writing each section or paragraph? I found that really annoying. Find a summary somewhere. It'll save you some hours and $. Unnecessary as a book. Solid points though.