The book is a collection of essays written by women who were adoptees from closed adoptions and who had bad adoptive home lives
932968
I gave this book a low grade because it deserved it. This is not the book to buy if you need to learn about psychological issues of an adoptee.

The book is a collection of essays written by women who were adoptees from closed adoptions and who had bad adoptive home lives. These authors treated their own psychological issues then decided to become experts themselves. Their clients are all women. They admit they have few male clients. So the book is based on a very select population by a very select group of therapists.

The book focuses on domestic closed adoptions where the adoptive home life was not very good. It does not relate in any way to an open adoption with a happy adoptive home life. It does not pertain to International Adoptions at all except insofar as loss, grief, and identity are questions that can, but not necessarily, arise in those kinds of adoptions.

It does not even start at the beginning which would be that 45% of who we are comes  from our DNA and that frankly the DNA of birth parents tend to lean toward the problem side of the curve. See Judith Harris books for more.

It does not discuss ADHD being highly prevalent among adoptees and the issues resulting from that. These are not adoptee issues. They do not discuss FAS/FASD, OCD. Anxiety and how they are more prevalent among this population. Again these are not adoptee issues.

One article dismissed RAD and is written by someone who clearly has no idea what the symptoms are or how it is diagnosed and treated. None of the authors has ever dealt with international adoption yet they mention it is as if they did. I used to give seminars on Eastern European adoptions and have been inside several Childrens Homes in Russia and have written books on the subject. These authors know zero about this.

The authors praise EMDR as being this great technique for adoptees with issues.  EMDR consists of two parts. The first is the usual CBT wherein you bring the issues out into the open and discuss them.  CBT is always helpful under any guise. The other part is this voodoo eyeball thing and the research on that is pretty conclusive that it has no effect. I doubt if these authors have actually looked at the research.

 Bottom line is that closed adoptions are bad for an adoptee. Plain and simple. They are rarer now, but still exist. Not all adoptees have issues. I would say based on observation that most do not. Most process their birth, adoption, and life and move on. Some do have issues however. They may be part of an ADHD/anxiety mosaic or may be that they need help understanding that their life has two roots and to process that and move on.

I would read many other adoptions books before I would deem this collection helpful.
4973236
I appreciate that there is a book written about this subject. As an adopted Native child, adopted in the late 1950's, this book helped me realize there are other adoptees out there and we all seem to share a common plight that needs to be addressed as a whole by this country's social work system.
2035854
There is something for every woman in this exciting collection of essays that speak to the shared experiences of women.  Scholars of gender studies, history, literature, and sociology will find a wealth of material in this exciting collection as will book clubs.
2124674
If you are lucky enough to find a copy of this book, don't let the awful cover turn you off. Inside you'll find a series of short stores that form a complete novel, and in those stories some excellent prose. Vivid with exasperation is the woman who is underwhelmed by her co-worker's stated tolerence for her lesbianism right after she has just been asked to applaud madly for her co-worker's engagement. Torn with anger is the daughter who refuses to comfort her religious father with the words that "Jesus forgave Judas" because she can't bring herself to compare her life and her partner to a traitor. Confused is the ex-husband who doesn't understand why his wife has taken up with another woman. Deeply in love are women at the center of the novel. Each story is a piece of a mosaic and the whole captures the range of lesbian lives with insight and feeling.
2100121
A great collection of essays that examine multiple aspects of an often-misunderstood way of life, written by a host of insightful authors. The essays explore and analyze the history of Rastafari, Rastafari and gender issues, the Rastafari/Marcus Garvey connections and disconnections, and more. This represents an important contribution to those interested in the African diaspora in the Americas.
2188249
These are essays based upon the recently released PIONEER GIRL manuscript, Laura Ingalls Wilder's original memoir and the source from which all of the "Little House" books eventually came. Wilder and her daughter, Rose Wilder Lane, initially envisioned it as an adult memoir, but were unable to sell it, so Laura (with coaching from Rose) rewrote the story as a children's tale, initially, she admitted, so her father's tales would not  be forgotten. Indeed, the first essay in this book is by Wilder herself, from a speech she made in 1937, about the backstory of the series.

Other essays include Rose's troubling career writing "biographies" that were fabrications simply to sell newspapers, and later wishing to include a murderous family in her mother's memoir; Rose's troubled career; how PIONEER GIRL eventually was published; Laura and her family as archetypal Midwesterners; "Little House" as an American fairy tale; and more. Most are written at a scholarly level, but not in language that proves too dense for the layman. As further reading about PIONEER GIRL and Wilder's life, the vocabulary is just about right.

Okay, one minor thing ticked me off: in his essay about the Little House books, Michael Patrick Hearn referred to JOHNNY TREMAIN as a work "of dubious literary distinction and rarely read today." Speak for yourself, buddy! No need to go insulting good books just because you like a different writer more.
4873083
In their essays, Bartlett, Kramar,Chaplik-Aleskow,and Robinson take readers on a journey they will never forget. This anthology is a wonderful collection of stories of how contemporary women stand up and face their trials and persevere through their tribulation and are better, stronger women for having gone through them.
1356277
This a wonderful little book, a collection of essays originally published as a weekly column by the author. The opening story recounts a Mothers Day that the author spent with her aging mother. It tells of her mothers kindness and eternal optimism. As you read the essays, youll will find that the author is also  not surprisingly  filled with kindness and optimism. The stories all reflect consideration of others, and consideration of life itself. There are insights and useful references to various research that any reader will find worth pondering.
1098522
A good read - a series of short autobiographical accounts of Korean children who were adopted by American parents.
3483495
I couldn't disagree more with the comment below that this was written by "some over-educated women with too much time on their hands." Actually, I know one of the authors (I used to babysit her three wonderful adopted daughters).  I found the book consistent with my experience of her:  as a dedicated, sensitive, gentle mother who cares deeply about her children and wants to help adoptive parents learn both from the research about adoption and our personal experiences as adoptive parents.  This book is a gem!
18717
I might be cheating in writing a review since I have an essay in this volume, but I would have bought a copy even if my essay was rejected.  This is a collection of stories from various people that have transgendered  folks in their lives.  From parents, kids, spouses and so on, and how their  journey to acceptance happened.  This is a great book for someone to read  that has recently found out that someone in their life is transgendered.  To realize that others have felt the same way, had the same  concerns.
Handy to have on the bookshelf if you are in the process of  coming out and someone wants something to read to give them more  information.
4957728
As an adoptee who searched for and found my first families, this is a subject that's near and dear. Laura Dennis has reached out and contacted many of the people who are actively writing and blogging about this topic. As a result, this anthology contains the very latest thinking, tips, and techniques for adoptees searching for their roots.

A pioneer in the application of DNA testing to adoption search, I was honored to write the DNA article for this book. In my efforts to spread the word about this important new tool I have corresponded with several of the other contributors. I am certain there is no better one-stop resource on adoption reunion today. Even if you're only mildly interested in the subject, you will find some fascinating writing here. I highly recommend it.
2577835
I strongly recommend this book for adoptees as well as anyone connected to adoption. Annes writing is powerfully honest and insightful. She has encouraged many adoptees to find their voice and tell their stories as well as give non-adoptees a glimpse of how complicated adoption truly is.
452276
. Very well-written and gives women who gave up their children a chance to finally tell their stories. Hopefully this book will help change the laws and allow adoptees and birth parents reunite!
4390602
The book is a collection of short, autobiographical stories of the last survivors of slavery. Due to the education of some survivors and the time frame, the language slowed the flow of the reading down. The stories were heart breaking. Its a great source of information for people learning about slavery.
1630485
This book is a collection of other women's stories of success after disappointment.
Marlo Thomas contributes to a brief intro - I was disappointed because I thought she actually authored the book.
4705792
This is the third of Evelyn Robinson's books on adoption loss, and for many, may be the most valuable. Her stated attempt in this book is to provide a ready reference on adoption loss and recovery for those who do not wish to explore the subject in more depth, or who might be less inclined to read a more substantial or a more narrative book. She has accomplished that purpose.

The book is divided into three sections:

Adoption Loss and Grief
In this section, Robinson situates the grief caused by family separation in the context of grief reactions in general. She shows the similarities of this loss to other losses and provides some quick, short reference notes from other authors to substantiate what she says. She deals first with the loss of mothers, and then with that of those who were adopted. There is a succinct sub-section on the disenfranchised grief which adoption loss creates. FAQs in this section are those of mothers.

Personal Recovery
Personal recovery is defined as addressing the effects of adoption separation on individuals. She describes re-grief therapy and why it may help those suffering from adoption loss. The FAQs which follow this section are those often asked by those who were adopted.

Interpersonal Recovery
Interpersonal recovery addresses the long-term impacts on relationships between family members who have been separated by adoption. In this section, she describes the four tasks in mourning the loss that has occurred:
* to accept the reality of the loss
* to work through the pain of the grief
* to adjust to the changed environment
* to move on with life

She addresses the reasons that grief arises at reunion, and describes how it may manifest, including some of the complicated grief reactions that may arise. She also addresses reunion outcomes and why some mothers and people adopted may decline a reunion. Questions addressed in this section include those of adoptive parents and family members.

Each section of the book defines the topic in two sub-sections, provides some hopeful methods in a third and then in the forth sub-section, lists some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) and Answers. For many people these questions and answers will form a ready set of notes for how to respond when the questions come up. We're not all able to think quickly on our feet. I was personally impressed with the neutrality of her responses to what are often some offensive questions.

Robinson is able to re-frame many a question's underlying bias to a more helpful way of looking at the situation. For example, when asked about the trauma that surfaces upon reunion, Robinson reminds us that the reunion did not cause the trauma; adoption separation causes trauma. Though it may have been repressed for decades, the surfacing of the trauma's effects is the sign of unresolved grieving finally being recognized.

Both because of its succinct summary of main lines of research and its clear compassion, this is an excellent first resource for those contemplating or dealing with a reunion. It will form a valuable resource for those who deal with mothers and people adopted in reunion. I would recommend this as a foundational book about adoption in anyone's library.