Just so astonishingly pathetic...
926162
...and gives rise to why we are known throughout the universe as the "Comedy Planet". Yes boys and girls, other, far more intelligent civilizations are observing us and laughing their collective arses off at our antics. What Darwin didn't know is the length and breadth that we would go to in the critique of his theories. Poor Darwin only had 18th century science to work with, you had better believe that he didn't know what we know. Nevertheless, the power and elegance of his conclusions based on what we now know were crude observations against modern biochemistry, paleontology, geology, zoology, genetics--good grief the list goes on!

I will tell you what awes--cloud formations. Have you taken a good look at them lately? Have you seen them up close at 30,000 feet? Now, if there was ever a reason for the existence of a god this has to be it. A pox on your science, just take a good look at those clouds!

...let's see, isn't the god of clouds Thor, or is it Mixcoatl? I can never keep them straight.
1949694
Dismal, appalling, woeful, weak, pathetic are all words that could be used to describe this pitiful excuse for a movie. I cannot believe I made it to the end of this unjustifiably lengthy ordeal without either falling asleep or turning it off. I guess I just wanted to see where Omar Sharif fitted into it, after all he is on the cover. Finally in the last 15 minutes or so of this abomination he does turn up, but even he cannot coax it back from the depths of mediocrity. He must be getting desperate for roles in his later years, otherwise why would he sign on after reading such a pantomime script. I'm sure the only reason that he got featured on the cover art was in the hope that his presence might shift a few more copies. This was obviously made to cash in on the success of Dan Brown's novels and their movie adaptions and while National Treasure got away with it by virtue of a decent budget, actors and storyline this can boast none of those redeeming features. The female lead is not even remotely believable as the bimbo Archeologist and the majority of the remaining cast are more wooden than the ark. The villains of the piece are about as menacing as my dead Grandmother and there are such obvious set flaws that even a child would spot them. How about the perfectly preserved town hidden beneath layers of easilly shovelled lava that looks just like sand. A place buried so deep that shafts of sunlight can beam in from every angle. There are of course the brave knights who wander the desert in blazing heat and swim vast stormy oceans in full chain mail and armour with swords at their side. Instead of our intrepid Templars it is the viewer who is left with that sinking feeling. I must admit that I have never read the book as many other reviewers here seem to have done, but it would have to be better than this. I give it one star for Mr Sharif. Do not waste 170 minutes of your life on this turkey.
4190575
Wow.....Wow, really?!... WHAT.A.CROCK.OF.S***.  I have never had a book or series more misleading with the story description and even the cover. I was honestly expecting one of the characters to morph into a Circus Clown and start signing the Star Spangled Banner...it would have gone along with the book's theme of crazy, unbelievably ridiculousness and unsupportable ideas. Where to start critiquing I can do...however it would take me too long to finish and I really don't want to waste any more of my time.
Don't read this book, nor book 1, save your brain cells, they will be wasted on this book.
  By the way, the natural next book should have been Mark, not Jared. Also, way to destroy all of Jared's character development from the first book.... a teen that stands up to the town sheriff, spouting off written laws yet signs blindly to a music contract? He has access to a family lawyer and unlimited financial support but doesn't even know what his tour schedule is?
  The entire hostage scenario was utter nonsense...and did I just write hostage scenario? Yes, yes I did.... what a truly awful disappointment.
1260995
Is it possible to give less than one star?  This movie was such a disappointment.  However, it does invoke a lingering question, how on earth did they amass such a bevy of heavyweights for such a ridiculously lackluster (being generous) project?  The writing, plot, camera work, acting, etc. were all poor - the story was just a pile of not to be believed rubbish.  I kept expecting the film to turn a corner and suddenly "get good", but such was not to be.  Seriously, don't waste your time with this one.
4744318
This "film" is not just bad, it is demoralizingly wretched. It was so reprehensible, I literally got angry, as the stupid characters do stupid things and die off (not soon enough). Zero stars is too kind.

Basic premise - young, horny adults go into woods, get a disease, turn against each other & die. Not one original idea here. Not one good performance. Not one believable moment of people acting like real human beings. And there is one character in the group that is gratingly annoying, to the point that you wonder why he has friends, why he was invited along on this trip in the woods and why the director continually allows him to negatively steal the movie. Only two redeeming aspects are the hot brunette shows some skin, and there was a germ on an idea here - whether a commentary on the AIDS epidemic, or maybe environmental issues - all that got edited out apparently, leaving us with this mess. Also, the early use of the 'N' word, out of nowhere and for no other reason than to shock, is gratuitous and disquieting.

As a movie fan, it troubles me that people actually liked this movie, as there is nothing worthwhile about it. This is not a low-budget, straight-to-video indie, folks - this is a major Hollywood release and should be held to a higher entertainment standard. Sadly, with so much garbage being churned out nowadays, maybe people don't know what a good movie is anymore.
2833685
This is yet another pathetic book on the "fate" of the Romanovs. The Russians do not divulge anything new, DNA test can be "altered" to reflect what the examiners "wish" to discover. In a word this book is a "fantasy" and only that!

Unless ALL of the documentation collected by Anastasia's uncle, Andrew, uncle Ernst Louis of Hesse, the Russian secret police files, the files of Kaiser Wilhelm II, and the files of the German High Command both before and after WWII are opened and made public (which will most likely NOT occur), then the ghouls will continue to make scads of money with these shoddy books.

There is not a scrap of actual "truth" in this ridiculous book. The British royal family, the Bank of England, and Baring Brothers' banking firm ALL benefited greatly being able to "absorb" the millions....in gold...deposited in the Bank of England by the Tsar. All and all, each of the individuals involved in this "book" should be so ashamed as to print such rubbish. RUN, do not WALK to the nearest dumpster with any copy of this absurd facsimile of a book.
659518
....the Amazon person who took the decision to list this garbage is either 1) incredibly stupid or 2) has a sense of humor and listed it solely for the enjoyment of reading how we trash the product.

Oh, and hurry!  There's only one left in stock!
2550015
this movie is so unbelievable and unrealistic.  The writers know absolutely nothing about racism and discrimination in the real world.  How in the world did this move even get nominated for best pic by the academy, let alone win??  Oh yeah, the academy voters don't watch the movies.  jeez, this movie is pathetic.
2813132
...which is a point of view in complete opposition to the idiot that penned this total rubbish!

failing on all counts - from an understanding of basic science through to a depressingly obvious bias toward a few rigidly blessed sources - this book proves itself across page after page to be little more than a propaganda pamphlet for the religiously devout.  forget research, evidence, thought, intelligence, logical consideration and even science itself, what you are left with is nothing more than a lot of bluster and tired, dull-witted nonsense from a religiously irrational believer who consider himself to be culturally under attack.

i read this text as i thought that it was important to see what evidence was out there. after wasting my time with it and i now know that i could have dived into the phone book instead for an equal period of time, as at least then i could have got a pizza sent to my home or the number for a good dry cleaner rather than the draining stupidity i encountered in this volume.
1693506
I downloaded this book because it was free...thank God, because even still, I want a refund on the time I wasted reading it.
The characters are all pathetic, very juvenile thought processes, no redeeming qualities. Parents who had an affair, had a baby, put it in an orphanage & the siblings don't ever want to see her...they just go skinny dipping instead.
The lead female's best friend, who appears to be a total simpleton, sleeps w/the lead's "crush" at a party...loses her virginity to him & admits she did so because she was jealous...at 22!
The author uses the word, "anyways" multiple times, said by men and women...college educated people, who speak like 15 yr old kids. Their parents are horrible people, their jobs suck and there is zero romance.
Topics: rape, adultery, suicide, promiscuity, virginity,PTSD, political corruption, alcoholism, classicism.
Beyond disappointed.
1548827
I simply cannot understand how anybody could enjoy this book.  There is not a scrap of literature in any of the chapters it's simply sick.  It really depicts women as pathetic individuals and one can only assume that none of the women in the book had any IQ.  How anybody could ind this book entertaining, I honestly don't know, personally thought it was rubbish.  No I am not a prude, nor do I complain over the odd swear word or editing.  However, this novel has nothing to entertain a reader nor will they learn anything new, it's simply grubby.
4879447
Omigod this is awful, I mean like awful in the greatbiggobsofgreasygrimygopherguts way, NOT in the "filled with awe" way which someone told me once was where the word actually originated way back in the dawn of time which is when, by the way, you'll feel like you started reading after a VERY few pages of this nerve-jangling opus by a frenetic gen-X (wannabe) blogger who thinks reading her run-on sentences and bled-together paragraphs and mish-mashed chapters in a shrill staccato whine wouldn't actually make the illegitimate offspring of a Frankensteined cross between a woodpecker and a chipmunk hunker down and PRAY for death-by-hoot-owl - I kid thee not. Gratuitous "f-bombshell" and "mother f-bombs" and "lightening bolt vjs" in an effort (failed) to seem edgy or "hip" only make her (successfully) seem as crude and charmed by her own effluvia as I'm convinced she no doubt is. (everything up to this pointis my imitation of her "style", by the way, for those who might have missed the joke!)

Granted, I did the audio book, which adds the aforementioned brittle quacking of the author's voice to her abysmal writing, but I can't imagine it'd be any better from the printed page.... altogether a must-miss...... TRUST ME.
1004790
My goodness, this was awful.  The first 40 pages get off to rollicking if not quite convincing start...and then Jude become the focus of the book(oh, no...*groan*), and then the entire thing slides into a weird, twisted exercise in masochism porn or...well, something.  There's nothing realistic or convincing or real about it.  It's more like the author is playing out her own weird Jesus or Job complex with a character she uses like a stick figure, walking him through some fantasy of a life filled with torments.  I could compile a long list of the inaccuracies in this book - an address that isn't in the neighborhood in NYC it's placed in - a law school assignment that would never happen (I went to a top law school, in fact, I went to Harvard, too, undergrad, and she's writing about Harvard Law, obviously, but gets all the details wrong) - careers that aren't even slightly based on anything in the real world people live in.  Mostly, this unpleasant, over-rated mess is simply bizarre.  I started skimming after about 100 pages - just couldn't do it.  And yes, I am absolutely mystified by the good reviews.  What were these people on?  I guess it's the same weird attraction that Christianity, with its blood and gore and suffering and fantasy of martyrdom, holds for a certain type of personality.  Yuck.
2510790
Having heard about this movie, I had a vague idea that it was going to be highy lacking in plot and dialogue, but hopefully somewhat entertaining in a Seinfeldian fashion-so still worth viewing. I could never have imagined, in my most wildly confused dreams, that ANY movie could be so entirely TURGID!!! The poor acting only served to accentuate the poorly written scrpit and complete lack of direction in this pathetic excuse for a film.

In a few scenes we start to see a rather homoerotic sort of lust or attraction between the main character (who is, by the way, chosen to be the body into which the evil fraternity brother will transport himself when the main character is stretching shirtless and glistening outside of a gazebo...) and the evil frat brother of doom. Once the main character, Chris, is good and drunk the evil characer proceeds to initiate him as a pledge of the ATO fraternity. He takes a small needle from his large and pretty necklace of doom and sticks the obtrusively handsome and naive main characer in the hand and proceeds to suck his blood in the most boring blood sucking vampire of doom scene I have ever seen on film. When Chris wakes up the next morning he is greeted by his equally uninterestingly written roomate, Dan, and a suitacase of clothes from his new frat brothers sitting on the kitchen table. Strangely, though, the top outfit in the suitacase is a silky white shirt and pleather pants--clubbing attire perhaps? Or just a friendly fashion tip from your new brothers?

Ignoring the fact that most important aspects of this film reeked of ham left out in the sun for days, the least the director could have done was added some non confusing/disturbing sex scenes. In the one overtly sexual scene in the movie the evil frat brother decides to show Chris the ropes of boring blood sucking. He chooses the most intoxicated looking forty year old at the party and proceeds to lead her into the chamber. Chris undresses and goes at it...he pricks her arm and starts sucking her blood. The evil character, watching, becomes intrigued and decides to strip down to his designer underwear and join in. The scene climax is a pathetic fake orgasm (assumably induced by the sucking of the vampire frat brothers) by the intoxicated forty year old--hardly an arousing scene to say the least.

In any case the movie ends anticlimatcially (suprise suprise) with several of the frat brothers, the evil character, and the main character engaging in the body swapping ritual that, of course, must be performed in the designer underwear and nothing else. How else would one possibly achieve a proper body swap?!?

Overall, this movie was an atrocity not only to horror films but also to goth/vampire/fantasy films as well as homoerotic thrillers. This movie is so not worth your time and is good, for lack of clever cinematic design or plot or dialogue or good acting, only as a joke for you and your friends to view time and time again in order to revel in the glory of its unintended comical nature. Perhaps the director's intent was not to make an eloquently done vampire/fantasy film but merely to produce a film  whose intent was to showcase young male verility at its finest. If this indeed was the case then DeCouteau did a splendid job. However I'm not sure how many film makers would make the sort of film this is their goal style.

If you like well done vampire flicks with homoerotic undertones and--dare I say it?!?--a plot, I would highly recommend Interview with the Vampire as well as the rest of the films based on the Vampire Chronicles of Anne Rice.
660110
I cannot believe that more than 2000 people gave this movie 5 stars....I finished this movie open mouthed, just as if I had just witnessed a horrible road kill.....no wonder this movie has the worst acting, ever: because only amateurs have nothing to loose and would take part in this utter rubbish. I would not be surprised if a teenage Jehovas witness wrote the screenplay and his parents funded this brainwash movie....problem is: it turned out so extremely bad that it could actually pass as comedy.
2817855
This was my first foray into Matthew Reilly's work. I have no idea where it fits in chronologically but all I can say on the strength of this novel alone is how on earth did he come to be a renowned best selling author???!!! This was so bad it beggered belief! I can't even say it was so bad it was good. I endured for a while thinking it had to get better. It didn't. I was past caring and gave up about a fifth of the way into it. Truly, this would have to be the worst writing I've ever come across. It leaves me happy and sad. Happy that evidently anyone, and I mean anyone, can make it big while writing utter rubbish. Sad that I missed my true vocation. Anyone tempted to read this: I plead with you, move on!
2902303
I've been a de Lint fan for years.  This book...was just awful.  He has written to the young adult audience before, and it wasn't as lousy as this.
Angst-filled "She's my girlfriend!" and "I'm in love!" exclamations -  Oh, gag, really?  Did de Lint really write this?
Besides being so...juvenile, what was with the ridiculous stereotypes?  Does de Lint even KNOW any homeschoolers?  "Sitting at the kitchen table all day" - are you kidding me???? And what was with the pointless and unnecessary swipe at Catholicism thrown in there at the end?
As I said, I have been a fan for years, but this is FAR from his best, and I would be embarrassed to even recommend this to anyone who didn't already know his work.