Instruct: Classify Amazon reviews into positive or negative sentiment
Query: How to Get Straight A's in an Ivy League School

Columbia University is famous for making thousands of young men and women a bit too familiar with the writing of dead white men over four years. THE 5-MINUTE ILIAD does the same thing -- plus Jane Austen -- in about two hours. As if hilarious abbreviated literature weren't enough of a boon to the average undergraduate's schedule, it's a few thousand bucks cheaper than the Complete Western Canon, and it takes up less shelf space. It's even got pictures for all you art history majors. So laugh with midget masterpieces while your ramen steeps in the hot pot.