How to Deal with Difficult People 101
342530
Dealing with difficult people is never fun, but there are ways to go about it that can make it less painful for you. This book addresses those techniques in a polite and easy to approach way. This book first shows you what kind of behavior you
should look out for, then how you should address it, and why you should address it.  There are numerous options included on how to respond to someone that is acting in an unacceptable manner, which are things like making sure to keep what you are thinking off of your face and body language, and just simply keeping your mouth shut when someone is trying to force you to argue with them.

I would recommend this book to anyone that is lost and trying to figure out what to do regarding a difficult relationship or person, and needs a little guidance. There is a helpful checklist at the end of the book that tells you all the main ideas of the book, and can also serve as your guide if you are trying to make changes in your life.
3130686
Lets be honest, we all know them! Interesting outlooks form the author on how to deal with difficult people. Probably slightly overstated in terms of sociopaths, apples to this we find cause us problems, not specifically useful for the total lunatics in our lives :) The author explains the traits to watch out for, 'failure to follow a life plan, loss of insight etc.
2046552
Author has a good understanding of the challenges that introverts have when dealing with groups of strangers.  I especially liked his tips on reducing the size of your circle as a way to become more comfortable in a group.
4042983
In Dealing With Difficult Teachers, education administrator Todd Whitaker draws upon his many years of professional experience and expertise to provide school superintendents and building principles with non-confrontational and guilt-free strategies for handling teachers with performance and personality issues. This compendium on practical and effective advice addresses teachers who gossip in the teacher's lounge; who consistently dismiss any new idea; who send excessive numbers of students to the principal's office for disciplinary reasons; who undermine administrative efforts toward school improvement; as well as those who negatively influence other teaching and student services staff members school. Dealing With Difficult Teachers is an essential addition to educational administration reference collections and "must" reading for anyone charged with supervisory responsibilities for classroom instructors and teaching staff morale.
2047033
This book will help the salesperson and those who encounter difficult people alike. Dave Anderson's straightforward, no-nonsense style will capture every reader. This book is a must read!
4865391
This book shows you how people throughout the ages manipulate situations and others. You will gain insight into the real world with this book.  Learn how to optimize yourself, others and every circumstance.  Read books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to learn how to lead yourself and get along with others and Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self, to learn how to bring your best self to any situation, make the most of it and bring out the best in others.
2943947
Making Hostile Words Harmless is exactly as described.  The book teaches techniques for dealing with people who use words to hurt.  The book uses funny scenarios to give useful examples in how to use the suggested methods in the book.  It is very empowering to have the tools to deal with verbal attacks from other!!  Can't wait for the next book from this author!
4615849
I learned how to communicate when disagreeing. Rather than to yell and blow things out pf porportion. I learned to take the edge off of an argument.
When I first tried it my husband had a look that said "What just happened? Did I win or loose?" I was laughing at him on the inside. It worked and I use his techniqies on the job as well. I have become a better problem solver. More effective if you will.
3146023
Mark Rosen, in his wonderfully titled book, "Thank You for Being Such  a Pain," has an interesting point of view. He believes that dealing  with the difficult people in our lives (and we all have them) can help us  grow spiritually and emotionally.  If we step back from a troubling  situation and try to be objective about difficult people, whether they are  our bosses, our relatives, our friends, or our neighbors, we can deal with  them more effectively.  Rosen goes further.  He feels that there is a  reason that difficult people come into our lives. They are there to teach  us such important lessons as how NOT to treat other people.  In addition,  as we deal with people who are "pains in the neck," we can learn  empathy and we can improve our communication skills.  It sounds good, but  does it work? I admit that I have to deal with some difficult people and I  tried to use some of Dr. Rosen's advice.  Sometimes it worked and sometimes  it didn't.  However, his words do come back to me during the course of the  day, and I think that his message is worthwhile.  You have nothing to lose  and everything to gain from trying a new approach with those people who  make your life miserable.  Dr. Rosen's sense of humor and commonsense  approach are refreshing and I recommend this book highly.
4143877
The techniques for managing narcissists described in this book would not work with true narcissists - people with true Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They might work with difficult people with narcissistic tendencies, but not people who truly have NPD. If I had tried saying ANY of the things she advises to my ex-boyfriend, he'd have walked out the door in a rage. When I *did* try saying things like these to my ex-boyfriend, he walked out the door in a rage. When I finally stood up to him - as gently and compassionately as was humanly possible - he ended the relationship (with rage). A true narcissist is abusive, and you have no leverage. If you try to assert yourself at all, criticize him in any way, even with understanding, he will leave.

This book, which is addressed to partners of narcissists, is a treatise on how to tolerate abuse. It never once talks about the possibility of leaving the relationship, which in most cases is the healthiest thing to do. This book is dangerous to people (mostly women) in relationships with narcissists (who are mostly men). These are abusive relationships - narcissists are emotionally abusive to their partners. The healthy way to deal with abuse is to leave.
3984617
In a market flooded with advice on interpersonal relationships and the conflicts inherent in relationships, Crowe's book is refreshing in its common-sense approach.
 Part I, "Fundamentals of Understanding", focuses on understanding what makes difficult people so hard to deal with. The key is to recognize the difficult person's behavior and our reaction to it. The most thought-provoking question in this segment is "Do we attempt to change difficult people, or do we change our expectations of them. `Difficult' is an opinion.  We base our assessment of a person on our observations and expectations, and what we see as difficult, another may see as straightforward or decisive.  Sometimes we have to step away from a problem, take a break to get some perspective.
 Part II deals with "Personality Types and Patterns of Behavior."  It categorizes different personalities by relating them to animals. The concept may be overused, but the content still has validity. There are nine types of difficult personalities. On the aggressive side, we have the lizard, who complains about everything. Crowe's advice is to steer them away from problems and into solutions. It may be impossible to completely stop complainers, but you can certainly stop them from taking up your valuable time.  In the passive group, we have the donkey, who stays rooted in one place until forcibly led away  - frozen, afraid to make a move. The challenge is to empower them to take some action on their own. Crowe's suggestion is to offer a set of choices, outlining the likely outcome, then let them choose.  If their decision is unwise, hopefully they will learn from it.  If their decision is a winner, they will gain confidence and hopefully break out of their passive mold.
 In Part III, "Tools and Recipes" Crowe offers ways to deal with the difficult personalities that she has outlined.  One technique mentioned is  "Verbal Aikido."  Aikido is a martial art in which the momentum of the attacker is used against them.  Verbal aikido is the technique of redirecting a conversation with a difficult person in the direction you want it to go.  Sample verbiage includes "Here are your options.." and "You make the choice."  The advice is sound, although it may be hard to put into practice initially.  Difficult people generally won't be boxed into making a choice, because then who would take the blame?  That's exactly Crowe's point - let them decide, and then learn from the outcome.
 This book offers simple understandable explanations of some common problems, ands some innovative ways to deal with them. I would recommend it to anyone needing a fresh perspective on interpersonal problems, especially in the workplace.
3729623
I am short fused and get irritated often... This book will help me deal with that personality trait. Especially your approach to how you solved the problem.
Thank you
1235147
The "nasty people" in this book are "invalidators", people who disrespect others in some way.

The author lists as the methods that invalidator may use:
- uncertainty (he may act vague and unwilling to commit)
- projection (he takes his feelings and projects responsibility for them onto another person),
- generalization (he may take small truths, and exaggerate them through generalization),
- judgment (he passes judgment),
- manipulation (author defines manipulation as "bad control" as opposed to "good control"),
- sneak attack (he may use sweet words, but underneath are daggers),
- double message,
- cutting communication,
- building you up and then cutting you down, and
- the double bind.

Personally, I don't know anyone who hasn't acted in some of these ways some of the time, as the other eventually points out, invalidation is contagious and those who have been "victims" of invalidators are highly likely to eventually act as invalidators themselves (at least in some situations).

He suggests using reason, humor, respect, diplomacy, patience, discretion, words that tell how you feel, professionalism, acknowledgement.  If reasoning doesn't work, he suggests using cause-effect and then lists ways for invalidating the invalidator; confronting the invalidator, telling the truth, and eventually event trying the love approach.

This is a small book and the greater part of this book is focused on analyzing invalidators and invalidating behavior.  Few pages are dedicated to suggestions for handling invalidators, and while some people may find them helpful, to others these hints may not be sufficient and I'd recommend books like Pulling Your Own String by Wayne Dyer, or Who's Pulling Your Strings by Harriet Braiker, or Take the Bully By the Horns by Sam Horn, for more practical ideas.  And any other books related to developing assertiveness and communication skills should prove helpful.
71184
If you've been in the workplace you know what it is like to be around difficult people.  This book is a great guide to help you understand the different types of difficult people and how to communicate with them.  You will learn tips and techniques of how to relieve stress which can make it much easier to deal with difficult people as well as a special "Jedi Mind Trick".  This is a quick short read that you will not want to pass by.
81363
Excellent guide to handling some of the most difficult situations.  I use this as a reference in a course that I teach on How to Deal with an Angry Customer.
2944919
I bought this book because one of my colleagues is very difficult and abrasive.  I love that this book gives so many ideas on how to deal with these situations. I certainly will be putting some of these into practice,first one is to show appreciation and not to be confrontational with them.
Thanks for a great book!
1486430
Awsome book for any of those in Management, will teach you how to effectively deal with employees like never before!