Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken
344752
Though this book is primarily written to address the issues of infidelity and rebuilding trust in a marriage, I found it to be enlightening on many fronts.  Not all will experience the pain and devastation of adultery, however the human condition is that we all suffer grief due to the loss of dreams through disappointment, betrayal, or just plain living.  Cindy's open and honest sharing about one of life's hardest situations will give even the most damaged soul a reason to hope and practical insights into what it takes to begin the process of healing a shattered heart.
I'm confident that Chris and Cindy's story will help untold numbers as this book is read and shared between friends and loved ones.
4059126
One of the most helpful marriage books I have read in the last two years, and one of few I buy for gifts. The CD version has been loaned to several busy people already. If I had read it earlier I might have been able to correct some of the bitterness and resentment that lead to my divorce. As a man I did not realize that I was having trouble feeling loving and tender towards my wife when she acted and spoke in ways that men universally view as disrespectful. I believe this was done by her unknowingly most of the time. In the same way, because of my own words and actions that women universally view as unloving, I was communicating that I did not love her, making it hard for her to give me that respect I needed.
Better read the book though, the author does a great job of explaining how this leads to the "Crazy Cycle", and how to get out of it.
1418479
The best book I have ever read to repair a broken relationship,it is a must.
Forget all those so called exsperts on fixing relationships,just buy read and believe and you will be amazied.
3154927
Jill Williams had turned cold.  Her spirit died and her husband was responsible. Their story tells how neglecting your wife and family can bring havoc upon your marriage. Join Pat and Jill Williams as they explain how it all happened and more importantly-how they fixed it.
Highly recommended!
3489935
Please don't give up on your marriage.  This book has been a huge help to me and to my husband.  God has done a work (I love God Things)!! Our marriage was finished, I no longer trusted my spouse and built quite a fortress around me to protect my heart.  I had even been to a lawyer to see about getting a divorce and moved to a different state.  God had different plans.  As we both were working on the Love Dare we were being changed, our hearts were being opened a little at a time and God was able to work with it.  I promise you at the very least it will help you personally but will ABSOLUTELY the Lord has used this book to restore our marriage.  I am so glad we did not use the last stick of dynamite and blow things up.
1147735
I read this book during a time of major upheaval in my relationship with my wife.  Near divorce I read this book and realized how my parents' divorce adversely affected me.  In ways that we today think are normal  we sabotage our relationships and carry on the legacy of our parents'  failed relationships.  Unless we identify what happened to them by asking  historical questions about our parents' life before, during, and after  marriage, where they came from, what secrets lay in their family closets,  we are going to repeat them.  After all, it is what we recognize as  "normal".  Well, divorce is not normal.  Fundamental problems  that existed in our parents' relationship and our current relationship  follow identical patterns.  Recognizing them and understanding their  effects on our current relationship skills (which were not modeled in a  healthy manor) helps us define, change, and proceed with new and healthier  attitudes about being married.  Especially when children are involved, we  should make every humanly possible effort to save the relationship.  As  spouses, we are both different and similar. We found each other for reasons  we weren't cognizant of.  We were looking to fill our unmet needs.  In  today's world where divorce is so accepted, fragmented and drastically  unhealthy behaviors are being taught by parents who divorce.  It is always  easier to divorce than to heal a relationship.  They take work, but they  are worth it.  This is not to say that those who are abused in any way  should stay with an abuser.  But as human beings we can change.
I called  Gloria Hochman and pleaded with her to reprint the book.  She said they  were thinking about it.  And I am very, very grateful to her and  Dr. Beal  for helping me save my self and my marriage.  I think that this should be  required reading when an adult child of divorce is about to get married or  if he or she is contemplating divorce.
 Don't let the mistakes of our  parents ruin our relationships and perpetuate the cycle.  Stop the cycle.  Heal from the losses of divorce, absence of a parent, depression of the  custodial parent, and unhealthy self nurturing children have to endure  during and after the process.  Co-dependency can develop and rear its head  in unhealthy relationships we choose because it feels "safe",  "normal", what we are "used" to.
By the way, the  changes I have made in my life have been so monumental and healthy, that my  wife and I are pursuing a healthy, caring, supportive, accepting, honest,  (many more superlatives) relationship now more than ever.  And the lack of  respect I once held towards my parents has healed and I have been able to  carry on relationships with them that have been healthy, without emotional  blackmail, emotional incest, or blaming.  Dr. Andrew J. Boshardy
120671
In "Defusing the High-Conflict Divorce," the authors get underneath the surface of high-conflict divorces and describe the types of dysfunction occurring in these families -- dysfunctions which are often not recognized for what they are by legal or mental health professionals.  Problems in both the legal and mental health fields that contribute to our dysfunctional adversarial system of divorce are outlined.  The authors share information about the kinds of interventions that work and those that don't, in resolving the underlying issues in the family.  Throughout the focus is on reducing the parental conflict so that parents are able to meet their children's needs.  This book is crucial for legal and mental health professionals who work with divorcing families.  It can also offer hope to divorcing couples that there are alternatives other than litigation for resolving conflict.
537825
I have always felt that I had a "good" marriage.  Sure we had up and down times, but overall I felt things were going pretty well.  However, the last year has been difficult for us and I was feeling less respect and love for my wife, and that scared me.  I wanted to (and she reluctantly agreed to) go to counseling.  That revealed many areas in our relationship that were "broken" and I was pretty shocked to hear how my wife felt about things.  She basically didn't love me anymore and didn't want to prolong the inevitable.  I was panicked.  I started to read as many marriage books as I could get my hands on.  I saw an individual counselor to help with some issues and dealing with the rejection I felt.  I changed behaviors.  I tried many different things.

While I cannot say this is the best Marriage book I have read (to me, the best one is "The Marriage Turnaround"), it is one that I felt was very helpful for me to understand how things in our marriage went along the path that they did.  That understanding was really helpful for me to understand why I did some of the things I did, and why my wife was doing some of the things she was doing.  I feel that having this understanding could help many couples and I have given this book to a couple of friends who seem to have similar things happening in their marriages.

I would recommend this book for anyone who is in a relationship that used to be good, but that seems to just slowly get worse over the years.  It will help you to realize why that is happening and give you some advice about how to change things.  It has definitely helped me to understand why we were both doing some of the things that we were doing and has also helped me to change some of the behaviors that were not helping my marriage.
2417842
Excellent book helped you to understand the damage secrets can do in a relationship.  Also helped you understand the personal regret an abortion can cause. Then ultimately the book helped you understand there is forgiveness.
3990024
This very helpful book to helped me navigate the painful times following an unexpected divorce. I received this book as a gift, and now I pay it forward by giving this book to friends and family that are experiencing divorce or break-up.
3344855
Once in a great while my faith in humanity is restored by someone bluntly telling it like it is and trying to better this world by helping others. My husband and I come from very different backgrounds, different cultures and different races. We struggle to raise our children from previous marriages and make this thing called "relationship" work. After years of butting our heads against each other, arguing about who is right, I decided to try working a "relationship program" and heard about Mark Webb's book. After reading this book I have a different view of my marriage. Mark Webb reminds me over and over that it isn't a struggle or competition to see who is right. It's a relationship & we are in it together, in love, for the long haul. Mark Webb has a no nonsense, blunt way of speaking to the reader that feels like I'm in front of him, learning step by step how to undo our arguing and start loving each other again, like we did when we fell in love. I felt like he poured his experiences in therapy about resolving broken relationships into this book. He made it easy for my husband and I to follow the outline in the book and stop our destructive arguments which has lead both of us back to each other in my marriage.  Thank you Mr. Webb for saving our marriage!
4903797
The Book
Julie Matthews loves to sing, but due to an accident, she loses her voice.

Rick Matthews doesnt know the solution for the tension in his marriage until the accident rekindles their love.

Faced with losing that new-found love for each other, Rick and Julie are forced to face the dysfunction that originally created the tension in their marriage.

My Thoughts
I love a book that raises questions and causes evaluation. Sticks and Stones was that type of book. Right from the start, I was drawn into the book. And from the beginning I began asking questions, waiting for the answers.

Everyone deals with some sort of dysfunction in relationships.  After all, were imperfect human beings.

Those dysfunctions are brought into a marriage and into a family. Throughout Sticks and Stones, we were able to view the mistakes, lies, and hurts. Then learn how to maneuver past those imperfections.

I highly recommend this book for all married couples. Its a great book for healing of relationships, not only marriage but also parenting children.

And its an exciting read.
252727
Cindy does an amazing job of letting us, her readers, into her private life enough to feel her pain, and know that we are not alone in our suffering.  I found this book to be a balm easing the hurts, and providing hope.  If you are willing to be strong enough to restore your relationship, with God's help, this book can be a great resource for you.  For me, although I read it after my divorce was final, I found it also reassuring that for me, my ending was probably the correct one.  Cindy gives you insights into her life that made me feel like she completely understood.  She is very raw at times, and I found that helped me to resonate with her and also to move forward.  If you have TWO people willing to work hard, I do believe you can save a marriage with God's help, after trust has been broken.

I received this from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.  My opinions are my own.
797541
The Love Dare items have helped my husband and I reconnect. I feel that our marriage is stronger for it.
3212977
In this book, Kirshenbaum focuses squarely on the pain caused by betrayal. It's not just sexual infidelity that's covered here -- that's the "worst-case scenario." Though the book definitely covers that particular scenario in spades, many kinds of betrayal are covered here.

It avoids the extremes of self-blame (Did I nag too much? Did I do something wrong?) and blaming him (It's all his fault, the filthy rat), or even blaming the one he cheated with (Who does she think she is getting involved with a married man). This book, instead, charts a new path -- the path of trust. The author contends that it's through building trust again that healing will come. And without trust, without your being to open yourself up before your partner, your partner has no actual way to love YOU -- only your shell is available.

And as mentioned before, Kirshenbaum addresses small as well as big betrayals. No matter what the betrayal, Kirshenbaum argues, it can gradually erode the relationship. But more importantly, the author's very challenging thesis goes: "It's not the betrayal by itself that causes most of the damage. It's the poor way we handle the aftermath." If you can buy into this way of thinking, then you can probably get a lot out of this book.

Here are some other specifics covered in the book:

-How betrayal and distrust enter a relationship
-How to tell if a relationship is worth going all-out to save
-How to avoid the typical destructive reaction to betrayal
-How long it will take for healing to occur
-Exercises to work through healing

So, is this book for you? If you think you can accept the author's argument that how we handle betrayal is more important than the betrayal itself, then you ought to read it. But if this line seems simply to alien, too impossible, or just plain wrong to you, you might be best skipping this book.

What are the book alternatives? If you suspect you might be involved in an abusive relationship that involves betrayal, you should probably check out&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/The-Betrayal-Bond/dp/1558745262/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">The Betrayal Bond</a>&nbsp;by Patrick J. Carnes. If you find the Kirshenbaum's proposition compelling -- that it's our individual response to betrayal that matters most -- you may be interested by Olsen and Stephen's self-work oriented&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/The-Couple-s-Survival-Workbook/dp/0963878417/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">The Couple's Survival Workbook.</a>
1147941
The author imbibes much sound wisdom in this book. When we enter a new relationship we expect the best. We much too often look to our lover as the means to happiness. We have idealized, idolized our new relationship.

In the case of a new lover who could be likely diagnosed as suffering from C-PTSD the new relationship is factually too good to be true. The emotional trauma suffered by the unsuspecting spouse when the unmasking finally comes is horrendous.

The author tells her story with great compassion. How she turned to God to redeem herself is told with great spiritual wisdom, expressed by a narrative that any spouse trapped in a toxic relationship will resonate with and will be also be strongly motivated to turn to God for help.

In these instances this book will be reread many times over.
1918874
Is there an area of your life not going well? "When Love Gets Broken" explores through real life stories and experiences how brokenness occurs, what causes brokenness, and remedies for restoration. Simple solutions for healing and mending relationships - practical advice we can all learn from. This book is a winner!