Facing up to one's deepest, darkest desires
358897
This is a rather unusual novel: the narrative method is through stream of consciousness, and the protagonist, a twenty-year-old young Indian woman, is nameless. The story centers around said young woman who floats around, lost. She lives with her aunt and feels a keen sense of something missing in her life. Then she meets a man who is all wrong for her: he manipulates her, uses her, and she finds she likes it. The story is set in 21st century Delhi and what comes through the book is the raw, visceral Delhi, not the ones you would picture - no demure young, innocent here, but a young woman who experiences her sexual awakening. The language is sparse and makes for easy reading, but above all, enables the reader to visualize the young woman's experiences with perfect clarity. I would not say this is for everyone, but if you are keen to try something different, "A Bad Character" just might be something to titillate the senses.
287989
Be prepared for a long deep journey in the the mind of a very trouble soul.  After reading this, I never want to hear anyone tell me Dark Chalk is too dark.
3764383
And there are monsters in the light. So sad how women and children are taken and made into slaves and sexually tortured by real monsters. Those are the ones that should be murdered. Torturing them the same way wouldn't be punishment, they would thrive on it too much.

Although, this book is good, hard to put down and truly wicked. I agree that Q and Tess are made for one another. I was actually pleased to hear how he helped the other slaves and how he wants to put an end to this all.

I wish in real life, that that could really happen. Very good story, but a very deep erotica story. Somethings actually terrified me or made me relive my past.
72050
Im at a loss for words.

Im sitting here, trying yet again to write a review for Alison Tylers The Delicious Torment. Previous attempts left me staring into space with my fingers immobile on the keyboard, or I experienced a sudden pressing urge to unload the dishwasher.

Thats not because The Delicious Torment is a bad book. On the contrary, its left me speechless in a very, very good way. Whats stalling this review is that The Delicious Torment delves so deep, into such raw emotion, that it feels like an intrusion onto someones private space to write about it. I feel like a voyeur into someones most intimate thoughts. In reading the book, Im picking through their head, turning over thoughts as if they are seashells, discovering whats underneath, revealing secrets that are normally guarded and hidden.

Samantha, the narrator, is falling further into the BDSM lifestyle with her partner, Jack, and Jacks assistant, Alex. And the readeryou, meis falling deeper with her. Samantha doesnt censor her words; she tells it how it is, how shes feeling, the good, the bad, the shame, the pain, the exhilaration, the pleasure. Lots of pleasure. This closeness, this lack of self-consciousness, this unexpurgated retelling, is what makes this book such an unsettling and compelling read. We all self-censor to some degree, presenting ourselves in the light we want others to see us. Sam doesnt do that. She puts it all out there in her narration.

Sam is a character. Yes, a character based on the writers own memoirs, which makes her closer to reality than many erotic protagonists. And Alison Tyler is one hell of a writer. So between this character-who-is-somewhat-real and Alisons fluent prose, this book is imbued with a feeling of reality that is lacking in many erotic stories. It describes a lifestyle that is utterly foreign to me (and I imagine to many readers), and sets it apart from the fantasy-escapist category of erotica. Reading this is an immersive experience. The Delicious Torment is a fine novel first, and erotica second.

I didn't read this in one enormous gulp as I often do with books Im in love with. I had to keep setting it aside to process what was happening, to fully appreciate the exquisite mindgames, the subtleties, the darkness, the light. And sometimes (for this relative newbie BDSM reader) it all became too much, and I had to set it aside to read something sparkly and made of fairy-floss. But I always came back, and toward the end, I never went away.

Ive just read what Ive written here, and I realize Ive barely mentioned what the book is about. I haven't described the plot, talked about the characters, how it hangs together or what its like as a cohesive story. I haven't talked about the excellent writing. I don't think it matters. There are plenty of other excellent reviews that will give you that. For me, the ultimate test of a good book is how it makes me feel, does it stir emotion, does it make me react? Will I remember it when Ive finished it?

Hell, yeah.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
3756742
Strong Enough

For Derek Wolfe and Maxim Matveev, those two words have multiple meanings, some contrary to one another and others that demonstrate the effort it takes to get through difficult ordeals in order to reap deserved rewards.

At the beginning of the story, for Derek, being strong enough means to keep his dark sexual urges repressed, fighting them and ultimately controlling them so that no one truly knows just how abnormal he is because Dereks upbringing has programmed him to believe that anything that is not socially acceptable is disgustingwrongeven sinful.

These two men seem as opposite as they can be, especially because Derek uses all of his strength to suppress who he really is, fighting to be the man his parents and society wants him to be, not the one he truly is down to his core. And, even with the attraction that Derek feels for Maxim, Derek still torments himself with a code of conduct and traditional values that will lead him to become the perfect family man - one with a wife and kids, not a man who is 12 years younger than him and represents everything hes worked his entire life to ignore and adamantly deny.

Maxim illustrates his strength and courage when he leaves his home in Russia for a life in the States, not knowing if he can make it here but driven to try because what he wants out of life he cannot acquire in his homeland. Maxims optimism and fortitude guide his life and his choices and even though everything seems to go wrong for Maxim as soon as he steps off the plane from Russia, perhaps its fate that guides his journey and allows him to help a man understand that despite his upbringing love doesnt have to be a perfect, quintessential image - it just has to be perfect for the two people who feel it.

The fact that this story is semi-autobiographical adds intrigue and depth to the story line. Both men are fully characterized, which means that readers can truly understand what their words and actions illustrate about them and why theyve grown to be the men that they currently are.

Derek is portrayed in such a way that readers cant help but feel heartbroken for him; hes lived his entire life programmed to believe that theres only one way for him to live his life, so it makes sense that he fights his true nature and has a difficult time dealing with his feelings for Maxim. Its clearly not Dereks fault and while it was a bit frustrating to hear his misguided thoughts, the fact that, that is what he felt and must contend with is devastating not only for him but for those individuals like him who cant be who they're meant to be from the very beginning.

Maxim is a breath of fresh air in Dereks otherwise controlled and tortured world and Maxim allows Derek to understand that theres not simply one path or one way to live, and even though its difficult for Derek to face his reality, hes strong enough to do so with Maxim by his side.

Strength is defined in varying ways throughout the story, and when Maxim becomes a part of Dereks life, Derek ultimately needs to decide if hes strong enough to go against everything hes been told to believe and experience the kind of love that he could only dream of or if he cares too much about what other people will think and ruins any chance he may have to live the life that he deserves.

You were given this life because you're strong enough to live it.

As long as Derek and Maxim can remember this idea throughout the highs and lows theyll face in the lives they chosen to live, then theyll always be strong enough to get exactly what they want and need!

I voluntarily read an early copy of this release.

4.5 Poison Apples
2972980
This is a book that should not be taken lightly.  It's brutal in it's honesty and the methods are tried and true.  To seduce, is to chance, corner and conquer.  You may not like that; but that's seduction in its brutality.

If you watch how some people are successful in seduction, they intuitively use some or all these methods.  Some of them are quite cruel and manipulative; but this will also teach you the signs so that you won't be taken advantage of.

Don't pan this book so easily until you've actually read it.
4161733
In my dotage I find myself turning away from pieces this dark and real and powerful. I might find I love it by the time I'm through, but it's a powerful dose of darkness to steep one's soul in.
797806
If you're squeamish, turn back now. You may just find some uncomfortable truths in this one. It does, perhaps, explain R's obsession with folks begging their lovers to let them come. Oh, and it is extraordinarily well written.
3500405
Not for the faint of heart.
This story contains many triggers and may be hard for many to handle. But if you are like me and love a good dark read them this book is for you. Intense reading kept be hooked from the beginning, just one more chapter was all I kept saying until had no More chapters left.
2823239
Patrick Carnes, considered one of the pre-eminent researcher in the area of sexual addiction, has written a most challenging yet readable [for the layperson] book to help those of us facing the destructive issue of sexual addiction.  If you are facing issues of lust, use of pornographic materials which are impacting your marriage or relationship, Carnes' book is worth the time to read.  This is not an easily read book when facing up to this addictive life style.

For those willing to go the additional mile the compansion workbook, "Facing the Shadow", also by Carnes will be equally worth your time and energy.
1663089
Lately I have been interested in the psychological state of socio-paths. In undertaking this study I was recommended "Crime and Punishment" by Fyodor and "Tell Tale Heart" by Edgar Allan Poe. I would not agree with my friends thinking that Edgar Allan Poe's writing entail a socio-pathic behavior; as quite contrary the aggressor is faced with immense guilt and contemplating the actions taken; in the end confessing to the crime.
In this collection of very short stories which manifest them in tales of dark horror; Allan I believe is suggesting that human nature is a delicate balance of light and dark or good and evil. Most of the time this precarious balance is maintained; however, when there is a shift, for whatever reason, the dark or perverse side surfaces. How and why this "dark side" emerges differs from person to person.
295205
What tells us we are men? Is it how we look on the outside? Is it the way we behave? Unfortunately, if you are looking for these questions, you might as well go away now, for this book is not meant to be read by ideologues who think they need an idea to know.
We have all tread the mass of upgrades to our lives called "women," hopping from one to the next without fulfillment. Some of us have also played the nice guy/poindexter role into night and day until our wallets broke and then we were left without anything. We have tried to be male in so many different ways, but there is one that outshines them all. It is the one that lies above the grave of impossibility.
In his excellent and thorough essay, Keen urges us at the end of the first chapter not to skirt through the book but to read carefully each passage. We've been stranded for too long on a desolate island, asking for attention. Our hearts and minds have been callously stupefied by our advances, and by our society and time, which have been of no help to us at all. Being manly doesn't mean we necessarily have to exaggerate our strength in order to *look* like a man. Instead, the prayer is that we might express something greater within ourselves and not be afraid of how manly we look to others.
One of the first things we must do, Sam says, is to challenge our misconceptions about WOMAN. This is "WOMAN" with all caps. She's the undying witch who comes to scare us, night after night, after we have fallen asleep. The little boy who fears the witch is still there has not left us, for we have not gotten over our very private concerns about who She is.
The quintessential journey into the heart, for a man, starts at the place where he begins to accept the uncertainty of his maleness. Beyond this, he has always an abundance of tools and source material to solve his ordinary problems in everyday ways, and if he can play up to the mastery of this experience he will eventually become a man. In chapter ten, Keen writes about this, telling us a quote by Martin Luther: "Our good is hidden, and so profoundly that it is hidden under its opposite. Thus our life is under death, love of ourselves under hate of ourselves, glory under ignominy, salvation under perdition, justice under sin, strength under infirmity, and universally every one of our affirmations under its negation."
Indeed, our strength does come from its opposite.
If we are to escape past the predicaments that have held us in and reveal the secret knots that we have tied, not only for ourselves, but for our love of the world, then we must undertake the questor's journey into the root of the darkness. Are we men or are we not? Read on...
216424
Storm Dancer is a dark fantasy full of despotic rulers, political jockeying, and poetic language.  But there's more.  It's the `more' that makes this book thought-provoking and sometimes uncomfortable.  It's a story about redefining ethics.  It's a story that explores the very personal question of when the needs of the many outweigh the needs, or even rights, of the individual.

Dahoud is a man with a demon.  He's an ethnic Samili, discounted and despised.  He's also the child of a prostitute, abandoned in youth by not only his mother, but by every woman he's ever met.  His desperate childhood fueled an ambition that allowed him to rise to the level of a General, but there was a price.  He's had to give himself over to the djinn inside him, and this djinn has bought his success on the bloody ground of terrible deeds.  Terrible deeds that Dahoud has actually enjoyed.  In Storm Dancer, Dahoud tries to starve out his djinn, to weaken the darkness inside him.  He vows to protect and defend women, to trust them and give them kindness instead of pain and humiliation.  He strives to lead a nation by using diplomacy and cunning rather than the might of his sword.  But right and wrong are never black and white, and he discovers there are times when the fury of violence is inescapable.  He discovers there are some women not deserving of trust or kindness.

Merida is a diplomat with a humanitarian mission.  She will work her magic to bring rain to a backward and barbaric people, and perhaps lead them by example to embrace her enlightened path.  Her condescension crumbles when she finds herself kidnapped by a sadistic tyrant and tossed into his harem.  Merida finds she must bend and break the rules that are the very foundation of her morals to survive.  And then she must break them further to ensure the survival of others.  A seer advises her to lose her scruples, but Merida's journey is more about choosing her scruples.  The choice her family makes in the beginning of the book to put the needs of the group above the needs of the individual is the very choice Merida makes for herself in the end.  Because there are some things worthy of sacrifice.

Don't be put off by all this heavy stuff though.  You can still enjoy Storm Dancer and not delve into the intricacy of philosophy.  The descriptive language is colorful and in the style of the Persian poets.  There's action, there's scheming, there's a nation of people, fighting to remain independent in the face of constant war and the threat of starvation.  There is some romance, but it's more about trust and partnership than fireworks and roses.  There is violence, and sometimes that violence might not be in keeping with what some readers expect in terms of moral values from a hero.  It wasn't excessive or overly graphic, and I felt it was necessary in terms of the overall plot and theme.
3736550
A dark depiction of overcoming fear in innocence.
1363874
Filter, the latest release by Jason Wolfgang Gehlert is dark, dangerous, and intoxicating. The rich pages are surely steeped in a velvety red wine. Gehlerts Filter is filled with so many stories, poems and unsettling drawings, I cant begin to give you a synopses of each, rather I can only impart the feeling I had as I consumed the book. For instance, as I read one dark story I swear I could feel soft, chilling touches that must have come from strange hands that could only have belonged to the likes of an ardent vampire. I refused to look up from Gehlerts book, the tales intrigued me-held me fast. Then I felt warm breath on the back of my neckcompletely caused by the poem I was reading. Called to dinner, I was asked why my eyes shined so bright, why my neck was so red. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as I whispered, Im reading Filter, by Jason Wolfgang Gehlert.
606505
Favorite Quotes:

As usual, my voice is last.  I could claim slow reflexes, but the truth is, putting what other people want before what I want, even unconsciously, has become habit.  A therapist told me it was transference.  That its easier for me to put other people first because theres no risk involved.  No chance of losing out on all those dreams I keep dreaming about.  But his appointments coincided with my nephews Little League games, so I never learned how to reverse the cycle.

So he remembers the kiss.  Does he also remember the gangly, dorky, unblossomed girl attached to those lips?  No doubt I left him in a state of lustful frenzy tonight with the way I fought to pull open the door marked Push.

Its so unfair to grow up and still be the same person.  We spend years trying to remake ourselves.  College, marriage, Roth IRAs, organic produce.  Deep inside, were all just playing at being adults.  Because well never be better than the people we were at six, or worse than the ones we were at sixteen.

You cant trust musicians, you know.  They move from town to town, picking up a new girl at every stop.  My great-aunt Goldie dated one a jazz player.  Found out he had six children in six different states.  She only listened to classical after that.

I rub my lips against him so he can feel my smile.  Its one of those things that makes you want to cry for no good reason.  A happy thing that makes you sad at the same time.

Tears slide down her cheeks, and she wipes them away.  It feels wrong to see my mother cry.  Parents are meant to be strong, the ones who make everything better.  Who makes things better for them after their parents are gone?

Poor Stanley.  Poor bald, sweaty, manic Stanley.  Between Frannys abrasiveness and Tabbys low-cut blouse, hes having a hell of an afternoon.

My Review:

This book repeatedly squeezed my heart and stole the breath from my lungs.  I also felt a strange sting in my eyes and a burn in my throat.  Ms. Hemmer did an excellent job of capturing those all too familiar feelings of inadequacy and the wheel spinning of a stagnant life going nowhere, as well as the pervasive sense of dissatisfaction from unfulfilled dreams.  Not to mention the guilt of squandered time and missed chances.  She essentially wrote 3 stories in one with three different timelines.  Each were equally enthralling and exquisitely crafted.  Her writing is highly insightful, intelligent, witty, and clever.  I loved her characters, even when the grown sisters continued to spat and bicker like the spoiled children they were and continued to be.  I wanted more of each of the storylines  but then a good tale always makes me greedy.
4023427
Those closet to us usually hurt us the most. Those you trust are the key to your ultimate betrayal. Four girlfriends down for each other, having fun, and stuntin' find themselves facing the most trying time of their lives. Will their bond survive? Are they truly thicker than water? A higher end, young adult coming-of-age tale that will have you biting your nails! Highly recommended.