had some good ideas, his worst idea was judging a human's ...
358293
Hitler was a fanatical nationalist, had some good ideas, his worst idea was judging a human's worth by race, which we know scientifically to be a worthless measure of human abilities & potential. If Hitler had instead focused on judging humans on the basis of individual actual behavior & group actual behavior (especially including culture, not race), then he could have made a major contribution to the human species, because culturally, humans are indeed very different, with clear inferiors. But culture is taught/learned values, beliefs & behavior, not genetically programmed values, beliefs & behavior. Race alone does not genetically program any values, beliefs & behavior.
2589274
Brace yourself: The world is messed up, and it's all our fault. Human civilzation is destroying itself AND our ecology and something is going to have to change radically or we're all in a lot of trouble. Got all that? Good, you've just saved yourself a couple hundred pages or so. If you need a novel to explain that much to you, perhaps this one will do the job. Call me cynical, most people i know take these facts for granted, and have for some time. Books like this propose to be about the author's profound desire to use his higher level of consciousness to aid mankind in his perpetual search for truth. Problem is, this book comes off as being fueled more by arrogance than a desire to change things. Daniel Quinn doesn't want to change the world, he wants you to THINK he wants to change the world, so you'll take him seriously. But the ideas he has, the aspects of humanity he fingers as resposible for our fall from grace had me rolling my eyes so much i got motion sickness. I didn't see any of the profound insight into the human condition many others seem to; all i saw was second-rate anthropology and philosophical hubris. I rounded from 1.5 up to 2 stars because at least it made some suggestion of what humanity might try to do to redeem itself, and becuase it seems to have impressed a lot of folks probably more sophisticated than me. But, really, a character professing a way of thinking so revolutionary he's suspected of being the Antichrist? Take yourself down a peg, Dan. You're not there yet.
4759212
In an interview, the author has stated he is an idea man, and has presented his ideas through a plot cleverly presented to hold the reader's interest. In that same interview, he has stated he is not religious and considers himself to be an atheist even though he includes an external, supernatural being as one of his characters. Even though it is obvious his core belief is unbelief, it seems he is forced to at least include God as a creator in submitting to the logic that every effect must have a cause.

Through the dialogue of his various characters, it is obvious the author does have his own religion: He expresses all of the basic tenets of a belief system called secular humanism. Secular humanists believe that there is no God, at least there is no God who cares about his creation. They believe man must make his own way in this life by making his own decisions and live with the consequences.  As theologian Francis Schaeffer once said, "man begins with himself and then builds out from himself having only himself as a reference point accepting no external influences like God in his life. He thus strives to find all knowledge, meaning and value in his life." Secular humanism is all about denial of the God of the Bible and focus on what man can and must do for himself. It's all about power to the people.

But, as several of the characters have expressed in the book, the people really don't have much power at all. Nonetheless, they have no choice but to trudge on, trying to make some sense out of what they perceive to be an absolute absurdity. The farce ends when the comet hits the earth, and, as atheistic philosopher Bertrand Russell once opined, God has tired of his little game and has decided to put an end to it.

If a person is inclined to believe Mr. Currie's secular humanist concept of reality, this is the book for you.  Even though I'm not a member of the choir the author is preaching to, I did find the book interesting because I often learn more about what I believe from contrary opinion.
3982631
This book is helpful; but one must always bear in mind that it is one man's opinion. His ideas about how to dress, etc. were without merit in Ireland as we saw the locals dressed in clothing similar to what he suggested would be in pour taste. His impressions of places was welcome, but opinion. His book is a great stepping off place when planning a trip, but remember there are other travelogues you should also reference.
308757
The one thing that I am so naive about in life is that I really cannot believe people can be so Evil.  After reading this book, my ideas of the human race have changed.  There are people walking in our world that are so possessed by Evil that nothing matters to them.  Ted Bundy was one of those people.  All the victims talked about his eyes.  I went on the internet, pulled up a good picture and looked at the eyes.  I was horrified.  His eyes have Evil all in them.  He did not care about anyone but himself.
2751545
There are good things in this book, but my goodness, the author presents himself as an authority on other belief system and religions that he obviously knows very little about, and therefore should not state as fact that which is only an uneducated opinion.  This made me wonder if what he reported regarding religions or thought processes that I was not familiar with could be trusted at all. I heard that he said in an interview that if people got hung up on these inaccuracies that  they were "missing the point."  Woah!  Blame the reader, and carry on!  Really??  Seems cocky and like there is an agenda that I cannot be okay with here. At times I felt he tried to make things more complicated than they needed to be as to seem super intelligent or deep.  I found this somewhat comical.  He loves run-on sentences where simplicity could easily make the point.  So, in spite of some  good thoughts that I gleaned from this book, in my opinion, it was not worth the price.
4873465
Sarcasm and "I told you so attitude" with redundancy leading to his foregone conclusions. Much of what he recommended is logical, and true but stymied by the system he derides.
414986
A telling book by a dangerous man, who would be willing to trample the freedom of the individual if he thought it meant society would fall in line with his ideas of justice. Filled with false-equivalences, straw man arguments, large jumps in logic, a lack of evidence, and very telling omissions, this isn't a book that provides insight through analysis, but instead starts off with preconceived ideas and reinforces them through selective exposure.
1245676
The premise of this book was good and some of the tips are helpful, but overall the message seemed unrealistic and somewhat self-righteous. I really liked Mini Habits, by the same author, as it described a practical, loose-fitting, and even fun way to develop habits in areas you're not used to taking consistent action in. The Imperfectionist book felt like an opposite approach: an over-thought-out series of steps on how to think, relate to others, and feel on a daily basis. I agree with the idea that perfectionism often causes a lot of woes for people and stifles their potential and creativity. What was hard to read about was the suggestion of a confident, happy, and socially savvy "Imperfectionist" group that is juxtaposed with a supposed "Perfectionist" group of people who lack confidence, seek approval from others, feel relatively unhappy overall, and are at the bottom of the totem pole in socializing with others. Seeking approval from others? Gauging from reality T.V. shows, social media, and even politics, seeking approval is a nation-wide obsession and not just a shortcoming of perfectionists. The book seems to say, "Join our team and you'll discover what living really is!" Now buy all this stuff marketed at the end of the book too. The advice is just too seamless and chipper for me. There is a suggestion to wear a fanny pack to show you don't care what others think about you. The book also included a comment about Kurt Cobain's perfectionism that I didn't like, because no one knows what he went through and can't perfectly assume things about him. Finally, all the lists of advice are repeated again and again in the last part of the book. I'd recommend reading Mini Habits, and skipping the Imperfectionist book.
48817
disappointing. read more like a subjective review of man's worst character.
4276816
This book is basically a book on positive thinking. But after reading it, I don't believe you can find true happiness by believing in yourself. You can become successful, perhaps, or even less self critical, but happiness is something bigger and better.

Interestingly, Julian did not know he was unhappy. He underwent an "exam," and during the exam, Master Samtyang squeezes his toe causing excruciating pain, which told the old master that he was unhappy. Somehow, that felt absurd, a real master (theoretically speaking) should have been able to sense his aura.

While I believe the suggestions given are positive and helpful, they would not answer the deep sadness I encounter at funerals, in hospitals, and with those having a deep crisis.

Three stars, it isn't bad, but it falls short of real answers for happiness.
3826764
Good ideas, I disagree on his method for tying in hackle (he does the butt end first as opposed to the tip). But the overall list of flies and ideas are good
4743489
The author has extremely antiquated and dismissive views of addictive disorders and discrimination. While I certainly agree with her assertion that addicts must acknowledge and exercise their own personal responsibility, and marginalized people must exercise their agency and carefully avoid falling to a self-image of victimhood, she takes such a disdainful tone toward these groups of people and their experiences that I had trouble reading on seriously after the chapter where she digs into them. As for the methods she recommends for self-improvement, they're solid enough but nothing groundbreaking. She's right that it's easier to picture your negative aspects as a little brat inside of yourself that needs to be tamed. But in order to advance her concept, the author attempts to dismiss complex experiences that may call for more than simply disciplining a troublesome brat.
961212
This book made me angry. As I read it, all I could think about was how it represented the flaws and problems of current American society: narcissism, excessive acquisition and consumerism, taking the easy way out rather than making the correct (but more difficult) decisions, and sacrificing your morals and integrity in order to get attention on a grand scale (like reality tv shows), and thereby encouraging impressionable others (children) to behave inappropriately. Although the author admits on an intellectual level that he was wrong to act in a way that destroyed his life, as well as his entire family and congregation, these admissions are made in an almost light-hearted manner and I was not convinced that he had accepted his mistakes on a core-emotional level. A sentiment from the book that is representative of the author's account of his experience is that a person can't change their negative qualities so they should build their positive qualities instead. Although this approach seems practical, it is certainly not a 'get out of jail' card to excuse the rotten things that people repeatedly do, and should not be used to justify the toxic impact that someone's negative qualities have on others. Do I believe the author is sorry for what he did? Yes, I believe that he is sorry (for himself) that he made a decision with a disastrous outcome that was couched in divine guidance. I believe he is sorry (for himself) that his inability to form solid relationships with his family, friends, parishioners, and potential or prior business partners before the affair led to a total destruction of his support base. I believe he is sorry (for himself) that he didn't compulsively plan out his exit and had to reduce his comfort and standard of living because he had little in marketable skills and no solid business relationships to draw from. Essentially, I believe he feels sorry that he screwed up, got caught, and lost the life he had, and there was no one to blame but himself. The author and his wife both took the easy path without appearing to have learned anything in the process: Laura caved on her stance about the massive credit card bill he was able to amass in just a few months, and later caved into Dave's desire to have a high-end car. It was her lack of assertiveness in the marriage that jeopardized her emotional and physical health as well as the partnership. Dave shifted his manic energy and drive to his marriage and his children, and is drawing sustenance for his narcissism through the new church group he started, in addition to publicity surrounding this book and marketing himself as a visionary. If the author has truly experienced remorse to the degree which the situation warrants, it is not expressed through this book.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author through the LibraryThing member giveaway program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 [...] : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
2397132
My feelings about this book are pretty mixed.  On the positive side, I adored Fairbairn and held his ideas as sacrosanct; this book broke me free of that delusion and helped me see that, even though Fairbairn was brilliant, he was far from infallible.  But beyond simply pointing out flaws in Fairbairn's thinking, Celani offers his own ideas which ignited a dialogue in me regarding my own understanding of object relations.  For this, I am thankful.
On the negative side, I found much of what was said in this book unpalatable for one reason or another.  One of my biggest objections is Celani's focus on the therapist being an ideal object.  I understand how this is a useful stage in the process of exorcising bad objects, but since the world is made up of real objects, wouldn't therapists aspire to help their clients move past seeing them as ideal to accepting them as real?  Perhaps it's just me, but there is a tone of desperation in the author's plea that clients see him as ideal.
While looking for a quote to represent the preceding paragraph, I found a line which captures my next complaint, "attachment to, and internalization of, the therapist as an ideal object is an absolute requirement for change" (130).  One would expect a therapist working with borderline clients to be aware of all or nothing thinking, but this book is rife such statements.  Another quick one: "...was able to tell the patient that he was experiencing emotions identical to those that she had felt as a child" (104).
Finally, in so many of the vignettes, the therapist (who may or may not be Celani) came off as terribly smug.  It's harder to capture this in a single quote, but "I guess you don't remember that we have been working together continuously for two years, including those times when you could not pay me for several months" (102) captures the general tone.
All in all, if you're already a fan of Fairbairn, this book might be worth your time.  But if you're new to the field or to Fairbairn, you can do better.
2207785
Sad attempt at best, but that's just one mans opinion.
846098
I had trouble believing that the main character, Ashby, had such a bad and rejecting attitude towards Dan and that he still pursued only her for a whole year!  Why?  It's no wonder no one else asked her out as she had such a bad temper.  And I suppose if that had been addressed and dealt with in the story, as a part of the story, I could have given the book a higher rating.  But as it is left we are to believe that it is ok to treat folks badly if we are on a pity party about our own history.