The writing is so bad I couldn't even finish it
356292
The story may be alright, but the pathetic writing made it impossible for me to enjoy the half I did read before giving up.
563332
This book is impossible to keep reading.  The writing is horrible. :(  I am so thankful that this was a free download, but also really disappointed in Amazon for suggesting that anyone should read it.  Free or not.  By far the worst book I have ever read.
2819799
I think that says it all.  The writing style was terrible, the story was horrible.  The proofreader was no good, and the whole book was just very bad.
772202
I wanted to like it; the storyline had great potential. But, the writing is about the worst I've seen for a paid book. And, when he devolved into his childhood sexual shower fantasies (yes really), I deleted it.
4029829
I couldn't make it past page 1.  Rarely have I ever encountered such appallingly bad writing.  Some typical phrases or sentences:  "There was the faintest whisper of leather on stone -- it was her husband Tiberius, returning home from the German war!" ; "His cloak covered his head, but not his smile, nor the grime and sweat that caked his cheeks.  She was lifted by love into his arms."; "The dirt floated away and his body softened, then hardened with passion, and they made the love they had dreamed about for months."
Their love blossomed easily.  Both of them were introspective and romantic by nature and a genuine compatibility ensured their happiness together."
There's more, but too nauseating to type into this box.  Barbara Cartland meets Roman history and the result is utter schlock, as if written by a 13-year old girl.
869
I wanted to like it, but i found myself cringing and forcing myself to finish it.  I suppose it had potential, but the writing was very juvenile and not engaging.  There was absolutely no motivation for the characters and more than once I caught myself saying "seriously?"  How are these people supposed to be in love when they've said a grand total of two hundred words to each other?!  This book will just leave the avid reader frustrated that you wasted your time.
2056378
Normally I give authors the benefit of the doubt and continue reading even if the writing style is bad or the grammar is horrible. That being said, the writing was so poor in this book that I couldn't get past the 2nd chapter. Each little chapter is written from the POV of a different main character. I have read books where this is done well; it is a little confusing, but it can really add depth to the story. In this case, each character goes through a monologue of telling the reader about him or her self and the world that he or she lives in. I honestly felt like the author had taken her personal notes about each character and just put them at the beginning of the book. I was so bored and I didn't know the characters any better. On top of all of that, the author just throws in random curse words that don't fit in the language or the setting at all. I hope this review helps you. If you are thinking that I didn't give the book enough of a chance, I would recommend downloading the sample before you buy the book.
3863582
As an author and literature major I can confidently say this book is terrible. I was intrigued by the book because while I do not agree with homosexuality, the plot seemed interesting. Unfortunately the writing was so awful I couldn't enjoy the story. First and foremost, the author as a bad case of "tell, don't show" when it should be the other way around. Everything we get to know about the characters we find out from being explicitly told by the author. Of course, those few sentences every couple of chapters (for some reason she feels the need to discribe them over and over and over again in the first act) are all there is to the characters, period! Is it possible to be less than one-deminsional?

The pacing is utterly screwed up. The book jumps from one scene to another with very little to it. Many of the "chapters" (I hesitate to call them that because they are usually only a few pages long) have NO bearing on the plot.

The writing in and of itself is extremely simplistic. It's supposedly a book for adults (hence the nausiating sex) but it honestly wouldn't be a difficult read for a twelve year-old. Shonda (hate the ghetto pen name, by the way) throws in a couple of two-dollar words here and there, but for the most part the complexity of her prose makes Stephanie Meyer look like Stephen King. She also has a bad habit of jumping between past and present tense, an ametuer (high school) mistake that makes it clear that the book was poorly edited if it was edited at all. The dialogue is also very unrealitic with sentences like "He's trippin because I won't give up the booty." Seriously? This isn't coming from so guy who doesn't know how black people (if I were speaking I'd use the N-word) talk. I grew up in Detroit, Michigan, so I'm coming from a "hood" perspective when I say people don't talk like that.

Speaking of Shonda also uses a lot of "hood" colloquialisms in her prose that would make difficult readind for anyone who didn't, figureative speaking, grow up in Detroit. Some might call this "keeping it real". I call it narrowing your audience to the few ignorant inner-city dwellers (not going to use the n-word) who are deluded enough to read this garbage.

I could go on forever. Suffice it to say this books sucks...hard.
761772
I really wanted to like this since I love the show, but the forced writing and pretend noir made this completely unreadable.  I was so annoyed with the appalling writing that I put it down after 50 pages.
2031525
I stopped reading on the first page. As an editor, I simply couldn't wade through the terrible writing.
2994793
Boring, poor writing - couldn't finish reading it.
4795780
The premise is interesting and the description is intriguing. The actual writing is almost laughable. Descriptions are trite, hackneyed, and formulaic. The dialogue is horribly stilted. I can't imagine real people speaking the way he writes. Characters are completely lacking in depth. After being annoyed by the writing, I finally decided to put aside any expectations reading an really good thriller and just pretend the author wrote badly on purpose. I doubt Dan Brown has anything to worry about from this hack.
4191343
I was given this book as a Christmas gift and I was really looking forward to reading it. The premise is really pretty cool, but the writing is just terrible. Grammatical errors, ellipses on every single page. The main character is somehow a doctor, professor and colonel and all of the other characters spend lots of time listening to his long winded opinions on things and telling him how smart he is. All of the female characters are submissive and/or idiots. I couldn't get past the first 100 pages, which makes it the first book I've neglected to finish once I began reading it. I really wish I could write a better review of this but sadly, I have to say don't waste your time.
4172288
I haven't even gotten that far into the book. It's a whirlwind of loads of nothing. The writing is quite terrible, and everything is rushed. This discombobulated collage of words isn't worth the time or effort. Being on page 78 of the book, I am unable to connect any dots as to what exactly is going on or have any explanation to the main characters behavior. Nothing is making any sense. Save your money and read something else. I had hopes for the book, but I can't get passed the poor skill of the author.
2534805
I liked the storyline, but it was overshadowed by all the writing mistakes. This book had the worst writing I've ever seen.
726503
The writing is choppy, and all over the place. Huge character events happen over the course of a sentence and a half. Not great writing so I can't even finish the book.
1646533
This has to be the most horribly written book I have ever read.  The story would be really great, but there are too many mistakes in grammar, paragraph construction, continuity.  The author seems to jump around and only say half of the things she should have to make the story coherent.  I kept reading because the story seemed to have a real plot and direction, but it was difficult because I had to keep rereading the same paragraph to make sure I read it correctly.  The main character would jump from doing one thing at one place to doing something else somewhere else seemingly at random with no explanation from the author, I pretty much had to fill in the blanks and make up the missing pieces of the story for myself, because it NEVER gets any better.  In fact, the closer we get to the end of the book, the more randomly the pieces of the story are put together. There is not any real explanation of where we are in the characters world, or why we are there.  I hope the author gets an editor before her next book because she could have done so much better with this idea.