good behavior? not at all
342882
Purchased 2 of these because i was having work done in the house. Put them on my cats, hard to get them on, because they had a flimsy latch. Apart from that, they were on for about 72 hours before i noticed my boy cat had lost hair all around the collar, and developed a large wound!! My girl cat was starting to lose her hair!

Not worth it, spending 20 bucks to calm my cats down is costing me several hundred at the vet!

I don't recommend this product.
1633272
Essentially what the title says.  The most interesting thing about the books is the treatment of morality.  None of the characters are particularly good, nice, kind, or in favor of justice.  In an overcrewded market of "do the right thing", this book chooses not to.
3124085
While Joeys behavior is indicative of a child who has ADD/ADHD, and his own explanation of how that makes him feel is a great insight into the mind of a child with ADD/ADHD, this book fails on so many levels.
1. The behavior of the adults is appalling - apparently none of Joeys teachers/principals have ever had any training in behavioral support/accommodations - Joey is either sent to the hall, the principals office, or is told to behave or he will end up in the special education room. Despite the argument that this would be against Least Restrictive Environment laws, a child who actually requires Special Education should never be made to feel as though it is a punishment.
 a. His teacher, rather than using differential education, just plain treats Joey different. An example is when they go to the farm for a field trip, and Joey is the only one who cannot have pie because the sugar isn't good for him and is the only one who cant carve with a knife because the teacher is worried there will be an accident. No accommodations, just cant do it.
 b. Joey, a CHILD, is told by the Special Ed center downtown that his home life is part of the problem when he wants to call his mom (being scared on his first day), and asks which doctors he has been to,as well as if his mother drinks. Inappropriate to say the least.
2. Joey is constantly told if you can sit still for 10 minutes, then he gets the thing he wants. As though his inability to regulate is actually under his control the entire time! He just needs to pull it together!
3. Kids in special education relegated to the basement, or if they are really bad sent downtown (can you guess where the main character ends up?).
4. Uses of words like spastic, retard, maniac, nuts, messed up kids lost it, to describe a child with a disability. Its 2015, and you can access a thesaurus online - lets stop using these words, especially when writing about a child with a disability (yes, I realize people still use these words towards children, but when you are writing a book where the main character has a disability, you have a responsibility to at least address the ignorance of those words).
5. There is a chapter where the doctor comes to visit the downtown Special Ed. Joeys mother is not present for this visit, only the director of the school, as an examination is done and blood is drawn. Joey is told by the director that the doctor is worried about medicine and he is worried about behavior, and the two will work together to, essentially, correct Joey. They talk to Joey about this as though he has an actual understanding of the situation.
6. Joey finally gets "better" when they find the right medication for him. While medication for ADD/ADHD can help, it shouldnt be seen as the be-all-end-all cure. Diet, behavior support, and so much more can also be helpful (in addition to teachers who understand that ADD/ADHD is a disability and not just something that can be easily controlled). To end the book with Joey being cured by meds to the point that he can go back to regular school is doing a disservice to those with disabilities.

This book could have been a fantastic resource for children with disabilities, or for those wanting to understand how someone with a disability feels. Instead, it was filled with the errors of ill-informed and, frankly, dangerous adults who attempt to fix a child with a disability by telling him he just needs to calm down and take some meds. What a disappointment.
3680348
Yes, we are over-diagnosed and over-medicated. Yes, many of us are all in jobs and lives that do not fulfill us. Yes, we can all use a little cheerleading, and we should identify our strengths and focus on them, rather than on fitting in and being "normal" -- but there is nothing here that is both worthwhile and new. I especially take exception to Archer's claim that psychological traits lie along a continuum. For example, he says that intuitive thinking, which he calls "magical," can help you act on faith and take risks that pay off. Too little of this trait and you are overly rational. Too much and you are schizophrenic. Wrong. Schizophrenia *is* a mental illness, not a psychological trait. If you are too prone to magical thinking, you're a space cadet, not a schizophrenic. This kind of simplistic thinking is neither helpful nor accurate, just an example of the author trying to make everything fit his continuum framework, which I believe not to be at all useful. Another example would be what he calls "shy" -- anyone who wants time alone, in his opinion, has the "shy" personality trait. He suggests that "shy" people team up with "adventurous" types, so that the adventurers can have someone at home taking care of things while they jaunt around the world. Excuse me, but, like many others, I like some solitude, am not "shy" in company, take care of things at home *and* go for occasional world jaunts. This book is a lot of nonsense, imo.
2108619
I picked up this book to help me through some problems I am having with a roommate.  And it did nothing for me.

It contends that 10% of the world is mature adults, and everyone else is a jerk to one degree or another.  It is full of made-up words based on the word "jerk".

"Don't" spends the first half in a made-up construction of three types of jerks, that may or may not relate to real life.  The only statistics are not based on research of any kind.  "Don't" doesn't tell you how to spot when someone is manipulating you, just tells you to spot it for yourself.  It doesn't tell you how to stand up to a jerk, just that you should do so.  It's got a few good thoughts, but so few and far between that it is not worth the read.  You can find better info elsewhere.

What really upset me was having religion shoved down my throat in a text that did not make that agenda clear at all.  It begins subtly enough, with a mention or two of the faith of the author.  I accept that as part of the sharing process.  But as the book went on, more and more of it was about Christianity.  The author has every right to write about his flavor of Christianity, about his faith, or whatever he wants.  But it did not contribute to the book; it just wasted pages.  Finally, the "manifesto" for getting yourself to stop getting jerked around is so religiously oriented that it distracts from any relevant progress for non-Christians.

It's sloppy; the good ideas could have been condensed down to a pamphlet.  Instead trees are wasted for chatter about his family in vaguely-relevant ways, senseless repetition, quizzes that go nowhere, stereotyping of non-religious people, and religious indoctrination.

I wish I'd never picked it up.
3152927
My wife loved this.  She found it inspiring.  I hated it, I found it profoundly unhelpful.

It is typical of most parenting literature in that 1) it tells you that you are doing it wrong.  and 2) there is no 2.

The author is all negative.  Don't focus on getting good behavior through rewareds or punishment just use love and understanding.  Ok, what should I do when, say the toddler stomps on the cat just to see what happens?

STOMP!! MEOOWER!  "OK, honey baby, that makes the cat sad, so please don't do it."

STOMP!! MEOOWER!  "Hey kiddie widdlie, when you kick the cat upside the head, it hurts her, and she doesn't like that, so she would prefer it if you stopped that."

STOMP!! MEOOWER!  OK, screw Alfie. Back to reality, kid.  You are getting a time out!

He has nothing to say about real world parenting challenges, spending the entire book burning straw men.  He would rather criticize the (no doubt fictional) parent who supposedly chastised their child for enjoying a day at the park, than tell real parents how to cope with real challenges.
1416220
This book was deeply disappointing. I thought it was going to be about creating compassion in children. Instead, it was about abdicating all forms of authority and leadership as a parent, befriending your child instead of providing the parental structure they need and crave, and even avoiding hurtful labels such as "child." What a sad and misleading piece of drivel. I can't believe I bought a book about parenting from a guy who admits that he can't even make his child put a toy in the toy box or make his bed.  Imagine a child raised by parents who turn the world upside down trying to get the child to WANT to do everything, instead of teaching obedience, self-control, respect for authority, discipline and love. What happens when that child grows up? I wonder what lengths the professor is going to go to to get the child to WANT to write the paper. Or how long an employer is going to dance around trying to get that worker to WANT to do the job at hand. And where are the parents? The cover shows a child with a mom and a ... grandmother? I know a lot of families look like that, but where's the father? Where are the men in this country? Why don't they step up? I guess if no one expect them to , they have no reason to.

Training kids to spend so much energy on their needs and their hurts is teaching them to be even more self-absorbed than their parents who don't want to spend enough time with them to instill the virtues they'll need for a successful life that is a blessing to others. This does parents and children (and their children) so much damage. Skip it.
1253953
The story starts by using animal characters with biblical names. They have unbelievably bad behavior and are argumentative with each other. I get they are trying to build a story, but do we have to add talking animals with horrid behavior to tell the story?  Some of the voices for the people are done with strange accents, so hokey!  Stick to the Bible story, that's all we need!  My husband and I previewed the first 10 minutes and had to turn it off! Not for our kids. I'm surprised this got decent ratings;  in my opinion people watch so much garbage on TV they don't know a good show anymore.
1633831
The Authors of this book advise hitting both babies and small children with a "flexible stick to obtain instant, complete obedience" and then suggest that this is how we show love.  They even suggest withholding milk from infants in order to coerce obedience. This is psychologically and physically abusive and will lead to sociopathic behavior from the children being abused. These practices will undermine your children's security, attachment, and sense of well being. How can anyone suggest that this is Christian, loving behavior.  Jesus loved the children!  May I suggest instead John Gottman's The HEART OF PARENTING: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, and kids are worth it! Revised Edition: Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline (Harperresource Book).
4082611
To start with, I agree with much of the authors' concerns about those who equate the scientific caution against anthropomorphizing with the notion that animals do not possess emotions at all.  The problem?  The authors point at anecdotal evidence for emotion in animals and simply ask the reader if an emotional explanation for the observed behavior isn't reasonable.  That's it!  There's no science here, and in fact it could be said there's anti-science here.  This does a disservice to the promotion of this field of study and rightly brings the scorn of working scientists.
I'm focusing on the negatives here because I had high expectations for a more objective approach to this discussion.  If emotional people focus on animal emotions with nothing more than anecdotal evidence, and objective scientists focus on animal behavior in terms of only environmental factors, why should it be a surprise that there is disagreement?  The one way to break the deadlock is for the emotionalists to design and carry out experiments that will develop evidence for an emotional basis for behavior, because scientists will respond to that.  There's little reason for them to respond to anything in this book.
So, if you're looking for science don't read this book.  If you're looking for some interesting stories about animals and disposed to read some ranting about those who give animals little regard, you'll like this book.
4307808
Those who have given this book a positive review and advocate its principles horrify me.  It sickens me to think what is happening to these children. Parents who resort to beating their child/children until they are 'broken" so that they can "enjoy them" have, simply put, resorted to the worst behavior possible. Their children are behaving because they are terrified. They will be at a higher risk of growing up to become abusers themselves.

Parenting is hard work. It is not for the weak of mind or heart. Anyone who thinks that the answer to an unruly child is a beating doesn't deserve the privilege of being a parent.
2868840
Not very good at all. She writes poorly, and the insights I thought I might gain seem to be a narcissist's banging on to the point of autism. Not what I expected.
2123553
The Berenstain Bear books by Stan and Jan Berenstain are hit and miss. Sometimes, they tackle challenging circumstances and behavior with common sense and empathy. Other times, the parents (usually Mama Bear) begins moralizing in black and white terms (which irks me at times). In this particular book, the Bear family tackles the "gimmies".

We have well over a dozen of these books, but the ending to this one is  troubling. Personally, I don't think deciding ahead of time to get only one special item from the store is "bribing"; rather, it's negotiating and compromise--something that mature adults must learn in order to function in mainstream society or mature relationships.

No, what bothers me is that while the Bear family found a solution that was suggested by Gramps (deciding on one item before hand to eliminate begging while shopping), the kids turn RIGHT AROUND and judge a kid throwing in a tantrum in the store.

"What outrageous, disgraceful, embarrassing behavior!", said Sister. MAY WE LEAVE? (she asks with disgust). Brother echoes with "Yeah...Let's get out of here." Papa Bear stands at the checkout, staring angrily at the disruptive cub.

As they leave the store, Mama and Papa have smug looks on their faces--as if they're better than the other family because their kids have adopted their sneering superiority.

Yuck! This is one of those times I'd like to see the Berenstains tackle "The Berenstain Bears and Judgmentalism". (Will never happen, especially since this air of superiority pervades some of the books--and is likely the real-life attitude of the authors. I can just imagine them looking like the American Gothic painting!)

If you want to teach your children about gratitude and managing resources, look elsewhere. While this book DOES have the parents encouraging thankfulness, their good advice is undone by the snobby judgmentalism of the ending....which, in my opinion, is a far worse state of being than the natural curiosity and "wantings" of kids.
3217648
So a few reviewers were "appalled," "shocked," and "disgusted" with the violence contained in this book. For those of us familiar with it, this seems laughable.

The claim is that the mere presence of words like bite, kick, whip, and KILL is enough to either traumatize a child or, what's worse, persuade them that violence is appropriate or acceptable.

Methinks people need to be reminded how words work--namely, that it's not so much the mere presence of words like these (or the concepts of death, violence, and fear that they evoke), it's their *use* that's problematic. In other books. Looked at in this way, even after half a century, this book seems all the more appropriate with regard to violence.

Is the protagonist violent? Is anyone violent in this book? On the contrary, the boy has a keen sense of justice. Worried for the well-being of all the animals he sees, he is absolutely opposed to violence. No biting or eating or killing or whipping occurs. The boy talks to a cow that is terrified for her calf's safety--fears that he might be killed--and the boy confronts the would-be assassin courageously. He does not strike the fox, but reprimands it for pursuing the cow. He does threaten to whip the fox, but this was only in the context of saving a life. And after the fox expresses his own fears (the hunter), the boy quickly befriends the fox, seeking his justice as well. The boy volunteers to involve himself in the plight of a whole menagerie of animals afraid of violence and death, and expects nothing in return. Their happiness is its own reward, and he returns to sit by the lake and look at the sky.

Rather than censoring ANY reference to violence and death in your children's literature, maybe you should employ books like these to teach your children to stand up to injustice (particular for the sake of others!), and to stand up to bullies and to fear. I know whose children will be better off.
4093783
I did not like the characters at all - arrogant, self-absorbed, mean-spirited, manipulative.  Was the purpose of this book to show how nasty people can be?  I prefer to read about characters with some shred of human decency.
4844409
It was all great advice until I got to the part about discipline....carrying around a baggy with a vinegar soaked rag and making your toddler sniff it when he/she misbehaves in public sounds like abuse. Don't support these fruit loops by buying this book.
2321308
I found the classification of bully types and, especially, the coverage of what to do about bullies in the workplace to be very simple.
As far as classifying bully types, the authors have made 4 groups.  I found what they offered to be dubious.  For example, in comparing introverted and extroverted bullies, we are told that introverts are contained while extroverts are practical; introverts may accommodate information while extroverts question it.  If youve read much about introverts and extroverts, or even if you havent, you may find this to be untrue.  Those familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality types will probably wonder about the authors statement that introverts feel and perceive and extroverts think and judge.  They Myers-Briggs typology (which covers introversion/extroversion, sensing/intuition, feeling/thinking,  and judging/perceiving) covers the 16 different types that emerge from the various combinations of these traits.  For some reason, the authors of The Bully-Proof Workplace have stated that these traits only come in a few combinations and those are the combinations this book addresses.  Too simple to address many situations.

The solutions are also very simple.  Basically, document the behavior of the bully, tell the bully that you want this behavior to stop, if it doesnt stop fire the bully (or quit if you cant fire the bully).  That, in a nutshell, is the basics of the solutions that are offered.  The examples of the conversations in which the bully is told to change their behavior are, to me, laughable and very unlikely to have any positive effect unless you have the power to fire the bully.  Even in that case, this book really has nothing to offer.

For example, here is the end of a sample conversation:
Diana:I know you do not want to sap  the energy of the team.  This would be a way for us all to contribute to the marketing strategy.  Could we try this?
Ethan:  If the team is feeling insecure, then they need to grow up.  This is ridiculous.
Diana:  Ethan, if the team and I don't feel we are contributing, then you may not get the best from us.  (Diana shouldnt threaten Ethan, but give him a clear understanding that his actions have consequences.)  Lets try this out and see what happens.  You may be surprised.

Thats the end of the conversaion.  Do you think this would solve your bully problem?