Didn't even make it 5 minutes in and gave up ...
351607
Didn't even make it 5 minutes in and gave up. Maybe they weren't all Christian but that's not what it's about........They believed in America. That's what counts.
2664172
Let's see;
1. Stiff and uninspiring acting? Check
2. Weak, awkward and clich&eacute;d dialog? Check
3. Ineffective or dull camera work? Check
4. No semblance of an interesting story to be found? Check.
5. People cast simply due to their star power in order to attract their fans? Check.
6. Poorly chosen props? Check.
7. Instantly forgettable characters? Check.
8. A lack of anything engaging enough to make one actually care what the point of the film is? Check.
9. Plenty of young, naked females? Check.
10. Absolutely ridiculous character names? Check.

Reading the above, it might sound like I was reviewing a pornography film, and with Hell Ride, that's almost true. Sadly, even for porn's standards, Hell Ride is garbage. I've seen better plots with similar character performance and dialog from titles in the adult section. I totally understand what it was supposed to be, but it just never quite got there and remained entertaining, engaging or relevant. The dialog all feels forced, with the 2-second pauses between every new sentence or exchange not helping that at all. It sounded like listening to nearly illiterate adults trying to read which makes it hard to get immersed or even interested in.  The plot felt like an afterthought, tacked on wherever there was a convenient place to stop and show bland flashbacks and tripping scenes. It wouldn't surprise me if the more gratuitous nudity was added after the fact once they saw the rough cut of the film and realized that it was completely devoid of anything worth spending time with the film for. If my movie sucked this bad, I'd probably load it up with slutbunnies too, At least the girls were mostly hot, until they or anyone else on camera started reciting the garbage that passed for dialog in this script.
1611492
Disappointed, sadly couldn't make it past the first 5 mins. Despite the great cast, did not make an impression or warrant 2 hour investment of time.
4119692
Maybe this movie and story improved but I ended it after the first five minutes. The quality of the production was very amateurish.
4029254
The first five minutes make you think this movie has a lot of promise.
Unfortunately, it's a very long journey it never ever goes anywhere. It's even a bit sad/disappointing ending.
Save your time and skip it.
803980
Didnt even make it 20 minutes in.  Terrible and i cant believe money was spent on this.
1364696
Couldn't get through more than half an hour of this pretentious, dull movie.
1324920
Good God so BORING!!! I was announcing how many minutes had passed with nothing at all happening. 45 minutes. 55 minutes...
4317958
Wasn't able to finish this movie. Voice wasn't in sync and too many intermittent pauses...finally gave up!! Wasted the $...  Too bad because it is a funny movie- we wanted to watch it.
4231922
half a dozen F bombs in the first 5 minutes...should be rated R...couldn't get past the first 10 minutes of the movie
3089643
Terrible...watched about 15-20 minutes of pure crap before giving up.
1198828
I've never written a review before, but this movie wasted 90 minutes of my life (actually the movie runs for 2hours and 18 minutes but I couldn't take much more of its nonsense).  There is virtually no dialogue and it is boring to the extreme.  I have to admit the visuals were stunning, especially the creation sequence.  However, I feel that any positive reviews for this movie come from self-deluded people who consider themselves intellectuals and feel that they have to state their love for their movie or else appear stupid. Well I freely admit my stupidity because I HATED this movie.  0 stars!
107145
That was about 10 minutes of absolute, confusing hell. I honestly can't believe I just wasted $.99 on this piece of crap. This is not for fans of Twilight, or for fans of legitimate literature. Do not waste your time or money on this. The only saving grace is that it is short. If I didn't have to give it a star, I wouldn't.
3726840
Terrible, watched only 30 minutes and couldn't take it anymore.
499484
Just plain stupid. I made it thru the first 25 mins.  I value my time too much to throw it away.
1977615
I could barely stand it after10 minutes & after 30 I wanted to throw a show though the screen.  This is a poor, read F--king excuse for entertainment.  I think I got the plot after a few minutes but even knowing that I couldn't enjoy th movie.  Do NOT bother wasting your time!
107641
Didn't even make it past the "opening credits", if you can call them that......