Good example of addition & spousal abuse
341995
Very well written and interesting.  Somewhat depressing at times but good example of addition and what people go through.
2753581
This book is good for women who think they may have ADD, but only those without hyperactivity.  It points out the stresses unique to women with ADD, overlooked in other ADD books.  However, the author has a rather negative and depressive view of ADD, unlike many women I know who thrive with the condition. Balance this book out with something more positive by Thom Hartmann.
1686481
The h gets jilted at the altar and is dealing with the repercussions.  Friends and family giving her advice as she goes through different stages of "grief" in dealing with moving on after being in a serious relationship for several years.  She's a reporter and has to write an article about an author who pens a book about finding "the one".  She finds him offensive and doesn't want to work with him.  Then they end up being assigned to write an article together.  She begins dating, observing other people's relationships while writing the article and determines that maybe being jilted happened for a reason.

Enjoyable read although felt things were rushed in the end to tie everything up in a neat little bow.
2965993
It was over 6 months ago my husband cheated on me with a woman who pretended to be my friend. I read all the reviews on this book so I thought I would give it a try because this one sounded different than the others I had been reading  this one really shows the cheater the pain and damage the caused rather than just focused on what went wrong inthe marriage. I KNOW there were problems in the marriage but I wasn't the one who chose to deal with them by cheating. When you want to reconcile after a betrayal this is the book for both partners to read. I suggest having the one who was betrayed read it first and highlight and/or make notes in the book and THEN the betrayer read it. It really tells them the damage and pain they've caused not just to the spouse but to the children too
463110
Very good advice for those who are going through a divorce. I wish I had read it before I was taken for over $150,000 in Alimony. Helps you realize that a vindictive and cruel spouse can ruin you financially and still look like the victim!
3644395
In slavery times, the master would beat slaves into submission. Their whippings discouraged slaves from running, rebelling and slothful.  In turn, slaves beat their own children so the master would not have to.  Whippings and beatings are a learned behavior. One that should have ended with slavery, but someone became the punishment of choice for Africian Americans.  When Stacey Patton penned her memoir,  of her life as the adoptive child of Myrtle and G. Patton in That Mean Old Yesterday, she compared those turbulent eight years to the life of a slave. Stacey was the slave who endured beatings, displacement and abandonment and who eventually runs away from the abusive massa.

At age five, Stacey's short life is changed with just a visit from the social worker. She is informed by the only mother she knows that she is a foster child and she is just a temporary visitor in the only home she knows.  She is eventually placed in the adoptive home of Myrtle and G. Patton, a couple who by all appearances are loving people who cannot have their own biological child. With so much love to give they chose Stacey.  And they were the perfect family until the adoption was complete.  Then, the first slap, then beatings with a belt, extension cord, shoe, hands and fist began by this loving adoptive mother. In Myrtle eyes, this was done in love, after all, it would be better for her to beat Stacey than the police and the Bible says "The blueness of a wound cleans away evil" and "Spare the rod, spoil the child."  So for eight years Stacey endured the beatings for simple infractions such as her shoes being crooked in the closet, saying "yep" instead of yes. Until at the age of 13, she could not take it anymore. Rather than sit passively and wait for Myrtle, her massa to beat her to death, Stacey ran.

I sat with my mouth wide open in  horror reading Ms Patton's story.  Not because of the abuse she suffered, because as a former Child Protective Services worker I had seen it before, but because Ms Patton was so horribly wronged by those who were supposed to protect her. G and other family members knew what was happening and condoned Myrtle's behavior.  School teachers and administrators saw the bruises and did not report it; doctors and nurses treated her injuries and did not report them, and the police placed the blame on her and sent her back to her abusers.  Through all of this, Ms. Patton had an inner strength and a strong will that could not be broken. When she got tired of the abuse, she ran away and steadfastly refused to return to her adoptive parents' home. Where many would have thought that life ina group home or the system would have been her demise, she excelled in school and sports. She received a full scholarship to a prestigious boarding school, despite the naysayers.  She was one of the kids who beat the system. She refused to let the title "Ward of the State of New Jersey" hold her back. She had dreams and she did not let her dreams be deferred.

That Old Mean Yesterday is not an easy read and I would not recommend it to everybody.  Those who read the Darkest Child by Delores Phillips, Neecy's Lullaby by Cris Burke, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls,  Somebody's Someone by Regina Louise or A Piece of Cake by  Cupcake Brown might be able to relate to this novel.  It is hard to believe a child could overcome all the obstacles placed in front of them, but Ms. Patton did and is to be congratulated for her tenacity and accomplishments.

Jeanette
APOOO BookClub
282175
Complexities of plural marriages are brought to light. Another reminder that things are not always what they appear to be
670919
Well written.  Good pace.  I know a couple whose husband is very controlling to the point of abuse.  While by no means like the character in the novel I have witnessed the physical and mental toll it has taken on their family.  Just because there are no visible scars doesn't mean there is no abuse!
499349
Having been familiar with author Karen Horwitz's organization, the National Association for the Prevention of Teacher Abuse (NAPTA), and also a victim of wrongful dismissal and harassment from my school district, I was anxious to read this book.  It is a good book, with an abundance of documentation to prove beyond all doubt teacher abuse is rampant in public schools.  I knew from personal experience the public school system is the most corrupt, unethical institution in terms of employee relations, but reading this I discovered I wasn't alone.

I will say, though, the book is probably too long, has a few typos in it, and needs some editing to pare it down a bit.  It gets repetitious in places.  I also want to point out that in Horwitz's section about "blacklisting," which is probably the biggest factor in keeping teachers in line, it isn't just the possibility of one school district contacting a previous district for references and those references being negative that causes blacklisting; it's the fact almost all public school districts AND teacher licensing boards ask "character" questions on applications in which you MUST disclose any "disciplinary" action or terminations under threat of not being employed or being fired or prevented from having your teaching license at all or having it revoked.  You have to reveal information in order for you to be blackballed in almost every state and every school district in the United States.  These questions should NEVER be allowed on any employment application because they are designed solely to blackball teachers from ever getting employment.  I am not referring to the necessity of preventing truly unfit teachers, such as predators, from becoming teachers (criminal checks are okay), but if your previous employer wrongfully terminated you for petty offenses, you still have to disclose it.  You as a terminated teacher are guilty until proven innocent in this filthy system.  You are never told in teacher college or when you first hire on a public school that you had better be lawyered up, for if you are unlucky enough to have a truly horrible administrator, he or she can ruin your life.

At one point Horwitz brushes aside the likelihood she was fired because of her age since she didn't have that many years logged into the system; however, it isn't the salary that made her an expensive hire:  it is the increased health insurance premiums and the district's desire to cheat her out of full retirement benefits that were likely the reason she was harassed to begin with.  This stuff is rampant in public education, as I found  out through personal experience.

This book needed to be written, and I am glad she wrote it.
4634042
As is usually the case in dysfunctional families, many members could/should have done things differently.

Melissa came out of this more a whole person than might be expected.  She used to her advantage a combination of hard work, determination and intelligence. Good for her.

While she guesses before anyone else, that her sister is bipolar, one wonders why no one considered her mother was mentally ill.  One also wonders quite a lot about the strange amount of passivity in this family.  The mother held everyone under control with her anger and manipulations and lies.  The father let his wife walk all over him and the daughters.  Even Melissa let money issues slide. There are laws to protect child actors, and once they had been to court and had her emancipated, her mother had NO right to take her money out of HER account!  Either Melissa is a minor or she is not, and the court declared she was not. Why did she not DO something about this?  Why did no one do something about all the money her mother siphoned off her?

Why on EARTH did her father just let her take all their money?  Why did he not make SURE he was divorced from her financially?  She is clearly dangerous.

Occasionally Melissa's perspective is SO far from the norm, due to her mother's HUGE need to spend as if she was extremely rich and lavish material items upon them.  Melissa did not have a normal childhood, and her ideas about money read as amazingly ignorant or amazingly spoiled. Her education would indicate ignorance is not the case.  The noises about the BMW convertible as a teenage birthday present are an excellent example.

With these sorts of genes running in this family, having children might be something to be very concerned about.
615627
I read this book on the Kindle, but I can't seem to find that on Amazon to review. I wanted to share my thoughts on this book so I'm doing it here.

I think much good can be said about this book. I think the author was trying to work through her issues in that she was married to this horrid man and never knew. Her feelings of guilt, her concerns for her children and grandbaby, her outrage and her stregnth of character come shining through.

How can that be? This is a question we ask ourselves everytime a serial killer is arrested. In this case it is because she wasn't always with him. She also learned to turn a blind eye to soem of the things he did (absences for example) that might have helped her realize he was doing these horrible murders.

At the risk of sounding less than supportive, I got the impression that this book was her catharsis. Her way of working through her issues. Because of that, many times the subjects jumped around. Or even more frustrating, she falls back on defending herself and yet you are not quite sure why because you haven't been given the complete picture. There is sometimes the assumption that you followed this case and you knew what she was talking about. This was frustrating. I would have liked to have seen her tie some of it all together- her emotions with his actions, her suspicions tied to his actions, etc.

An interesting read.
4371445
I liked this book .I was to the point helpful because my husband did the same things ,but not very often. Until he got older. It has gotten worst. He never cheated on my ,he always comes home from work. So this man she did mention if he cheated.  A lot of Narcissists dont.
2583110
I agree with the other reviewers and I would like to add that I used this book to help a family member go through a separation and hopefully, a divorce. There were no surprises, everything the abuser tried to do to further manipulate and abuse is documented in the book.  His excuses, his bizarre behavior, his "charm", it's all in there. The best point made, in my opinion, is that we shouldn't think that these abusers are mentally ill, or that drugs or alcohol make them the way they are.  I constantly reminded our family that this guy turns it on and off when he wants to.  He could be nice if he wanted to, but he chooses to abuse. Also, I like the sections on how low an abuser will go to use his children to get what he wants.  Whatever comes up, there is a section in the book pertaining to it.  MUst READ.
1730935
I appreciate Mr. Sparks hitting it right on the money as far as the abuse many women
experience at the hands of their "loving" husbands.  Men can get away with murder
sometimes!
3307374
Yes, there is romance and some pretty steamy sex taking place, but there is also a story line of spousal abuse  woven through it. Kudos to author for this balanced, well written, and romantic read.
1046386
When they say dysfunctional family, they aren't kidding. The abuse in this story is pretty horrifying, mostly in that it seems to have been NORMAL for the author, her family, and those in their social circle. A decent book, but don't read unless you are ready to read some gritty details.
2756220
I found the book Life After Hell: Surviving Sexual Abuse to be very interesting.  I'm glad that she was finally able to obtain some measure of peace, and was able to finally get her day in court.  Somehow I don't think that seven years is enough punishment for her stepfather but at least he got something.  Sometimes you do have to stay away from certain parts of the family.  I hope and pray that she is able to obtain all the success you possibly can, and I intend to buy some of her other books.