Too cliche and amateur for my taste
598780
As sweet as this story was probably supposed to be, it was just too much for me to believe or get into. I stopped reading it about half way through. Maybe this is intended for young teens but it was just far too....sugary ... if I give details, it will spoil the...um...."story" so I'll just say that if you are looking for something unpredictable and new or something action packed and exciting, this is NOT the book you're looking for.
2765308
Amateurish, high school writing. "She could see the prowess in his eyes".Tired cliched plot. Good girl falls for bad boy instead of local golden boy. Gets pregnant, bad boy goes to jail for crime he didn't commit indirectly caused by golden boy. After years of being a single mother, heroine decides to marry golden boy. Bad boy comes back to town and she is forced to choose between them. Many pages of drivel before she finds the guts to go against parents wishes. They even had to make golden boy a Senator's son. I kept wishing she would choose herself and grow up already.
487419
I had the sense in reading this that the author is new to writing. He has talentthere are some well crafted scenes herebut they are lost amid the amateurish writing and clunky dialog. For example, chrck out this line about a third of the way into the story:
As my crash scene leader Im relying on you to think fast and act decisively because my reputation, valuable equipment and mens lives are all at risk when this jet hits the deck and you start making decisions down there.
Took me right out of the story. Folks, people don't speak to each other like this.
This was a free kindle ebook. I can't exactly say why I picked it upI rarely read free ebooks, maybe it was the USN nature storyline that attracted me since I served 14 years in the USN myselfbut I am sorry I picked it up. Little of value here, unfortunately.
I do think there is some talent here, as I said before. But the author should spend several years honing his craft, doing serious time with a keyboard as well as reading everything he can get his hands on. I'd recommend he put at least 200,000 words on the page (short stories, novellas, writing exercises, rewrites, rewrites, rewrites, etc) before publishing again. Work on the quality and the rest will come. Writing is not something to be learned overnight.
I can't recommend this, not even as a free ebook. My humble opinion only, of course. Two stars, leaning toward one.
278372
I'm 17, so maybe I'm just too old for this book, but I was really disappointed by how clich-ed it is. Within the first few pages I was rolling my eyes at it, and when it didn't seem to be improving I gave up.
3396586
I did not finish reading this book. I love paranormal fiction and I do enjoy some young adult novels but this was just a bit too juvenile for my tastes. I probably would have loved this when I was 13 but the writing was basic and the beginning was unimaginative and underdeveloped which led me to put this book down for something a little more up my alley.
4172682
There were numerous typos, poor syntax and general grammatical mistakes in this book.  On top of which, it was slow moving, the characters were not all that interesting and the dialogue was clunky and labored. I found myself insulted by this poorly written and amateurish book and almost didn't finish it.
4759644
I confess I am submitting this review after having read only a few chapters of the book. But I was so put off by the stiff, cliche-ridden writing that I simply could not continue. When I got to Bruno's "smoldering eyes" I had to force myself to read on, and after several more pages of this sort of writing I gave up. I realize my view of the book is quite out of sync with most of the other reviews here, and I appreciate that other readers found a lot to admire, but I cannot share their enthusiasm. A good plot, for me, is not enough to overcome poor writing. What I did learn from this experience is not only to rely on reader reviews of a book I am thinking of buying, but also to take advantage of the offer to receive a free sample of the book in my Kindle when possible, or to read those pages accessible online before making a final purchase.
3739098
I'm not sure what book the 5-stars reviewed, but it couldn't have been the one I read. The first five chapters of the sample were decent. Romig definitely has an imagination, I'll give him that. And praise the uniqueness of the world he built. But after the sample ran out, it was like he handed the keyboard over to a seventh grader.

The remainder of the book appeared to be in rough draft form at best. Multitudes of grammatical errors couple with exceptionally sophmoric dialogue ruined the imaginative back drop. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see angelic beings and their demon counterparts speaking like American teenagers circa the mid 90s. Tone is perhaps the most grating character I've ever read. I get it, he's sarcastic, but a little goes a long way.

On top of that, the author makes a number of entry level mistakes that most glaringly include dialogue tags on just about every line, and a very clunky method of delivering information. One section near the end in particular sticks with me. Event X happened, and instead of adhering to "Show not tell from Writing 101", the author follows up quite literally by saying "this was important for several reasons." And then goes on giving a play by play of the importance of Event X from each of the five involved character's perspectives.

I wanted to rate this higher, I really did. I love the genre and love indie pub authors. The bones were good, but everything about the execution screamed amateur. Hopefully the author's other efforts passed through a few extra sets of eyes before publication.
38237
I tried to enjoy this movie, but it was done in a very amateur way I could not get into.  Perhaps some people might enjoy this movie, but not me.
4070339
I really wanted to like this. I really tried... but I couldn't get more than 15% into the book. The story was intriguing enough but the writing is just too poor/amateurish. I do not mean to sound like a snob, and I mean no offense to the writer. If you read it, I suspect you'll see what I mean. I share the author's love of submarines--and the 688/Los Angeles class, in particular. The fact that the story centers on a first-gen 688 is enough to make me want to keep pushing through.

I purchased this book on my Kindle and had no problems with the formatting.
1929353
I thought that the writing seemed very amateurish, and all the "clever" "jokes" are just dumb. It just seemed like she was trying just a little too hard to be witty, and while some - and I say SOME of her "witticisms" did bring a smile to my face, most were just dumb. I stopped reading it after 2 or 3 chapters and went and bought a book written by a professional.
1870562
I have read many books on this general topic and I thought this one
was over written and full of cliches. I don't expect great literature in this genre but Ray's writing was so bad, it actually made me cringe.
This guy needs major editing. I forced myself to finish and then
I gave this to the rummage sale in my building. Not worth keeping.
810419
I really don't understand all the good reviews here. I thought this novel was poorly written, unimaginative, unoriginal, and cliched. If you want an honest review, check out the New York Times "Books in Brief" review. It was obvious in the first chapter who the diabolical mastermind was - so there never was much of a mystery. I also found a great deal of the book almost insulting in its implausibility. The only reason I finished the book at all was to be able to say with full knowledge, that it has no redeeming qualities.  I gave it two stars instead of one only because, I'm sure worse books have been written - so I'm grading on a curve.
2667155
I had really high hopes for this book; an intelligently written, music-themed mystery is always going to be a top pick for me, but the quality of writing stole any potential the plot might have had. The cover artwork, layout, and font choice is very amateurish and I knew that was a warning sign of a sub-par self-published author, but because of the book's premise I chose to ignore that warning sign and give it a whirl. I was not pleasantly surprised, but rather dismayed that my hunch was correct. I desperately want to keep reading, I really do, but I have been unable to get past chapter 3. The writing is clunky and smacks of a first draft. It's a shame that he put so much effort into the accuracy of factual details and so little into getting quality editing from people who understand how to make a story flow smoothly.

I cannot recommend this book at all until he fine-tunes the narrative to make a more enjoyable read. This book needs a new jacket cover artist and a decent editor. The plot's potential is fantastic, but is lost in all the clumsiness of an amateur writer. I don't know why he chose to self-publish or at least go the route of avoiding a traditional publishing track, but it was definitely a mistake. This book will not go on my shelf.

Experience: Library staff and avid reader
1261811
I really wanted to like this book.  I was first drawn in by the premise.  It is/was a great concept and I was intrigued with the possibilities.  I wasn't more than a couple chapters into this book when I realised I'd set my hopes far too high.  The characters are riddled with cliches.  First the heroine is the super intelligent loner, avoiding her roots.  Then she becomes a simpering female once she lets a man into her life, and finally, when she embraces "who she really is", she finds that she is every kind of witch known to man, the VERY best one EVER and probably the ONLY one.  Did I leave out the bag of chips?  The hero is no better.  Cliche after cliche.  The three volumes seemed forced and could have been edited and revised to make possibly one decent book.  I waited to read this volume until the third one was out.  What a sad disappointment.  The supporting characters were more interesting than the main characters, yet cliche as well.  I found that I really couldn't care less about the hero and heroine.

If you really must read these, first determine how much your time is worth, then if you so choose, check them out of a library.
1106938
I couldn't finish the book.  As much as I tried, knowing that it was written by the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books, I just couldn't finish it.  Needless to say, from what I've read of this book, it was a disappointment.  Everything I read was completely cliche to mysteries/crime fiction that I'm familiar with; victim dies, ruled as suicide, loved one thinks it's murder, goes to detective who is in some sort of pickle in their personal life, and if anything, I'm assuming the murderer is someone who has been right in front of them all along.  I got so tired of the cliches.

Maybe I'll try reading it again one day, but as of right now, I'm sorry but it was complete weak sauce.
2163405
I normally enjoy period dramas but this one was cliche to the extreme. Story line was weak, predictable, the characters were not believable, and it got just plain corny at the end. Oh, and the musical score was noticeably bad as well. Regretted watching.