Disappointed - writing lacked maturity.
591326
I was excited to discover this series through a review of another book. Happy to see that there were about five in the series to read. Although the blurb on this book described a reasonably juvenile based story line I was happy to start at the beginning of the series and expected the first to be a bit young and cute but I was ready for that.
It started out ok with only a few instances where I rolled my eyes but it all just went downhill for me. There are something's that need development that you can not just achieve in one sentence then move on...
A teenager would probably like this story - but it really is not sharp enough.

I could not finish... I pushed until one third of the way though then stopped. Disappointed as I thought I could latch on to a whole series and not have to search a heap of books for the next week.

I have just finished Lynda Chance's 'Josh and Hannah' - similar setting but a five star quality - I would recommend reading that.
2489977
I was super excited to discover this book as a recommendation on my kindle and even more excited that it was free!  However, I had to stop reading during part two because the writing was so poor!  There is also a supernatural element added in part two which I didn't care for.  The story concept was good but the execution was not enough to keep me interested, especially when the Final Debt by Pepper Winters released today, which is also a dark, dark novel with much better writing.
3901961
I was really disappointed by this book. The writing was poorly done. Lots of mundane detail that was irrelevant to the story. She does a lot of telling instead of painting a picture. And the parents whine about the same thing chapter after chapter. I had to stop myself from skipping their sections completely. The overall story is intriguing but would be better without all of the fluff and more background on the killer and other victims instead.
2215157
Was very excited to start this. But half way  thru it just lost me. The writing was not great to begin with and gets only worse as it continues. I could not finish it based on this reason. Sigh.
2435538
I was disappointed in the writing of this book. She does have a compelling story but the way it was written it was boring. It was also in a style that seemed very amateur to me. I would not recommend it.
1077206
Okay. I'm a writer myself, and I wanted to like this. The writing at the beginning was a bit sophomoric, but okay, turns out this is a "contemporary romance" (the author's description) and apparently for kids. I am open-minded about reading things for a younger audience; even curious. I've read Twilight and the first of Amanda Hockings book. This was not as bad, I thought, writing-wise.

I knew what Sky's problem was from the first scene. I knew what the relationship with Holder would be because I knew there was already... some background. But it didn't bother me figuring out the plot because I'm a writer and I'm always anticipating plots.

SPOILER BELOW (not a very secret spoiler, since it's obvious from the start)

So... what did bother me?  Using traumatic events as entertainment with no understanding of the devastation involved.  Minimizing the aftermath of abuse.  Manipulating readers with wildly unrealistic solutions brought about by falling in love.

Holder talking like no guy ever talked. The four and five-year-old versions of these characters talking like 10-year-olds. The page after page description of their make-out sessions (so many cupping hands on faces! so much leaning on chests and heads! so much kissing of necks!) and then their eventual giving in to the urges. And a lot of unwrapping of condoms! I'm sure 17-year-olds have sex all the time, but I don't really think they should. And I don't think this couple in particular should. And if they need to, to "cure" her... couldn't they wait a bit? Maybe no sex might be just the right, mature move. Oh, and I guess I don't really want to read about 17-year-olds having sex anyway. And I didn't know that I would be reading about it here. That's the sneaky thing about this book. Even if you read a sample, you have no idea of where it's going.

I have to point out that the author never describes anything except that Sky has lots of hair and lots of stars on her ceiling. And Holder has scruffy brown hair, blue eyes and dimples. Everything else is a big blank. And she NEVER uses body part names. Amazing! "The moment his eyes fall back to mine, he pushes himself into me without a moment of hesitation." That would be the sex act. There is not a single reference to breasts, nipples, or any of the specific body parts involved in intercourse. Yuuucky, I guess! Teenagers can touch 'em, but they can't talk about 'em.

Rule: If you can't use the "p" word (Amazon won't let me type it out), you shouldn't be reading about sex. Or having it!

It's not a romance. It's what we used to call "women's fiction," except that this book is not for adult women. There are so many outlandish coincidences and incredible plot points that it gets silly by the end. Not to mention very sad and very adult.

This book is a bit like Holder -- it seems to have at least two different personalities. I can see how teens might love it... but I wonder if their mothers know what they're reading? And speaking of parents, what kind of parents are there in this book? Karen is absurd, Holder's Mom is unbelievably uncaring, and Six's parents are... invisible. What are they doing while their daughter is banging every boy in her grade? And do they ever notice that Sky sneaks into their house to make international phone calls... hello... is anybody HOME?

About a third of the way into this book I was enjoying it. A sweet teen romance with perhaps too much cupping and neck-kissing action, but okay. And then it turned into this potboiler, dark and horrible. Then the bad guy conveniently disappears, and true love will save Sky. She and her boy even talk about marriage... because you know that teens in love last forever.

Ms. Hoover trivializes serious issues to manipulate her readers into thinking love can cure everything.  But it can't.
4648076
The writing style is ok and felt like the writer must be a kid. Language is like kid talking and the story or the mystery is too abrupt and it is kind of known or you can guess it correctly by the the time you finish half of the book. Didn't like.
2994793
Boring, poor writing - couldn't finish reading it.
4948622
Really, really hoped Book Two, Retribution: Sector 64 would improve from Book One, as I thought the storyline showed promise and had some merit. Sadly, I was disappointed, as the author lacks both writing skills and talent. The ineptness of authorship forced me to skip and skim much of the book to complete it. Won't bore you with a listing of the book's deficiencies, as it would be too long. Suffice it to say author should take a writing course and I never have despised the "good guy" characters in this book, as such I do.  Cannot in good conscience recommend this book or eBook author.
4679824
This could have been written by a 4th grader.  Yes, I was disappointed but slogged through hoping it would improve.  Nope.  The first person perspective struck me as arrogant, as if the writer knew what she was thinking, feeling and lusting after. Keep moving, nothing to read/learn/enjoy here.
625317
The idea of this story is appealing to me.
However, the writing was so choppy that it felt unfinished.  It was difficult for me to read to the end, although it did get better after the first two atrocious chapters.  The characters are one-dimensional and the world building is slim.  I laughed at the mating scene but I'm sure it wasn't supposed to be funny.  I might have to give up on this writer if the rest of the series is similar.

Mature content
Read in KU
1564909
Wanted to like this but could not. I appreciate what the author attempted to do but it did not translate in the writing. The story read like a narrative at first which was confusing. Then it ...the authors writing style seemed elementary and a bit childish. The characters were not fully developed and quite frankly were boring. With some development and a more unpredictable plot twist this could have been very enjoyable. I by no means want to discourage the writer or any potential readers it just did not read well for me.
829694
Very disappointed in the writing - similar story development could been accomplished by a young writer.  More like an outline for one of Patterson's usual books.  With few details and little character development - definitely a quick read - this type of writing would not have me looking to read his other books.  With all the great books he has written he certainly can't be looking for the quick buck a book like this will bring him.  Hope he is not getting lazy - don't understand the new idea of BookShots, nor do I understand the idea all these very talented authors seem to have with 'co-writing' books.
396448
This is the first book I read from this author. The writing style did not me appeal to and I did not enjoy reading it. Convoluted sentences, such as this one:
"By now hed had enough time to realise what was happening, but not quite enough time for the motor cortex in his brain to send the signal into his spinal cord and onward through synapses and motor neurones to muscle fibres to get his muscles and limbs to do what he needed before Ryker attacked."
And childish musings such as this one:
"Not to mention the crew of little lap dogs who probably washed and polished the big dogs ball sack and rectum for him every evening."
did me in and I stopped reading the book.
4234828
(This is really more of a 2.5 star rating.) Landon Wicker is a 15-year-old boy who is suddenly faced with an alternate reality for which he is not prepared. Any book with a boy at magic school is bound to draw Harry Potter and X-Men parallels, and sadly, this story comes up short in terms of originality or distinction in comparison.

This author can clearly use the language and tell a story. I think with more experience of letting the characters speak and act for themselves, he will become a better writer. There is a problem with over-explaining, as in, ""Sit down," she said. She nodded toward the couch, indicating he should sit there." The reader can tell she means for the character to sit on the couch; it's not necessary to explain. Similarly, and I'm paraphrasing a bit, "He stood and looked out the window. I walked to the window and looked out." That could easily have been shortened by saying something like, "and I joined him."

(NOTE: When I got to the end of this book, I got an error message and could no longer access the book. That is not the author's fault and is not reflected in the number of stars I gave.)

The second biggest problem is the language. This is a story meant for a younger teen audience (older teens don't typically want to read about younger characters), but the language is often awkward and self-consciously over-blown. I have a pretty good vocabulary, but I had to look up some bizarre word I had never heard -- again, can't access the book any more on Kindle -- only to find out it mean "dark." As in, "a dark figure." Similarly, I wondered if teens would relate to words like "stentorian" and "sonorous."

Lastly, this story suffers from a lack of action. There is too much time giving to talking, or thinking about, events instead of letting them unfold. It's hard to get a handle on Landon or guess how he will react, because he is somewhat passive as a lead, easily influenced by whoever is front of him. He allows others tell him what to do and is easily rendered insecure. He doesn't seem to evolve as a person as his powers and abilities evolve.

I think this book could be very good if a) the author remembers his audience and their attention span, b) the author reins in his desire to use $10 words when less complex ones will better describe a scene, and c) the author allows the story to tell itself, through the eyes, actions and feelings of the characters, without over-explaining.
1689177
I almost feel bad to write this review for such an obviously talented and creative writer. However, this book really let me down. The first two are among my favorite books period. I was really discouraged by the writing style. To create a series and have such a defined outline of the way it's written, then to change that with no warning, was a mistake. I lost the connection to the characters. The journal writing style made the story very personal. I appreciate the little add ins of journal entries from Kil', but it was just too little. I was also very bored with the story. When I reached 50% I really almost stopped reading. Absolutely nothing happened in those first pages. I felt as though I had just wasted my time and there was no way in the remaining 50% that the story could be turned around. I was right. Rushed, and rushed more. Maybe there was a writing deadline and we were really just given the most finished product that was possible for a few answers and some closure. I don't know. Just very dissatisfied.
232508
While I applaud the originality of the idea (aliens and vampires), I found that the writing lacked the maturity and ability to pull it off. The characters and their dialog were mechanical and often predictable, and I found myself less and less engaged as I tried to give the book a chance to impress me. Eventually, I gave up.