I want my $1.99 back, quiet possibly the worst movie ever made
597837
This movie broke a new record for me; it is officially the worst movie I have ever watched in my 24 years on planet Earth. Normally I don't mind budget, middle-grade sci fi movies. Some actually have decent camera work, a decent soundtrack, or even a decent storyline. Let's face it, not every idea for a movie can get a $20 million budget, but with a little creativity and good camera work, a movie can still work out. I mean movies made in the 50's didn't have the CGI at hand today and they still pulled things off. Not Ascension. When I first heard of a movie that took place on Saturn's moon, I thought it sounded really cool, and if the story or characters were compelling enough then I could overlook any cheap CGI this movie possibly would have. That wasn't the case with this movie.

The acting is stale, as you can see it in the actors faces that the script and dialog are awful. The set design is atrocious. For being a moon base some fifty years in the future, this place sure doesn't look like it. There is no space-age looking technology anywhere, it's like they didn't even attempt to make it look like so. The whole movie looks like it was filmed in some guys basement with some cardboard cutouts for walls. The actors/actresses aren't even decent looking... I mean at least in other budget movies they throw in a cute actress or something to keep your interested. This movie had none of that.

Even the food in this movie is awful. At one point the lead character eats what looks like a combination of vomit, feces, and urine mixed together. Maybe the writers were trying to tell us something... like that this movie is basically on the same level of vomit, feces, and urine mixed together. This is in year 2050 or something, why are they eating ****? Don't you think they would have resourceful ways to create food when on an interplanetary mission? Maybe I'm picking at one thing here, but this is one of many minor problems with this movie, why it doesn't work, and why it doesn't make sense.

This movie is a joke. I can't wrap my head around why it was even made. Everything about it is just awful. 1/5, I would give this movie a lower score if I could. There is nothing redeeming about it at all. This is honestly the worst movie I have ever watched, and I am petty forgiving even if a movie is budget or not. Do yourself a favor and watch a movie that's actually decent. There are plenty of other gems out there even in the budget department. This movie is not worth the trouble. It is a pile of crap from beginning to end.
4136461
Seriously how could anyone give this movie more than one star. This was a complete waste of a few hours for me. While I respect who these men do for a living please write a better script so I don't to drink 3 energy drinks just to make it through the movie.
1798318
My friend sees one movie a year, I picked this one and he was ready to kill me it was so bad.  When we got home we went to the computer to look up the synopsis to see who got killed and how it ended, that's how vague and unclear the climax was.  And it was so draggy, dull, depressing, you had no reason to like any character, even the supposed good guy, and thus no reason to care what happened to anyone.  The bad character was somewhat interesting he was so evil but he was so understated that there was nothing to intrigue you, no depth, just cruel evilness.

Even the main plot point, the finding of the money with all the dead guys, was never really explained, who they were, why killed, and who did it and what point?  Tommy Lee Jones was wasted, and Josh Brolin slept-walked through his performance.

Why anyone wanted to make this film and why we were conned into thinking it would be good by the fawning pseudo-intellectual reviewers is a good question.  And it goes to show you how Hollywood awarded this totally overrated dull drivel their top honor, when most people were smarter than we were and stayed home from throwing their money away.  I guarantee that most people who rent this DVD will turn it off half-way through it.
4628395
I don't care about the $3.99, I want the hour and 38 minutes of my time back. Skip this one, don't  watch unless you're getting paid top dollar to do so.
3005422
What a waste of $3.99. Horrible acting, the plot was so stupid! I love horror/suspense films, this film, not so much. The movie takes place in the'70's and the Lords of Salem are these gross old ladies they like to show naked....... The only good character is the dog.  It's so bad, I stopped watching after 45 minutes and have no intention of finishing the movie.
953718
I rented this movie in Standard Definition, and I have to say it looks pretty crappy. Even on an SD TV on my Roku, it was blurry. Sound was bad, and without subtitles, I couldn't understand anyone. Don't tell me it's my internet; It runs at 12mb/s and everything else looks gorgeous. Top that off with the fact that this movie is clearly designed to rob you of every cent you have, by stretching what little content the original story had into three wasteful movies. There was seriously 5 minutes of pipe-smoking with no dialogue. Come on! I know Jackson has a thing with slow motion faces going way too long, but this movie was just a plain waste. Special effects were par for the course. Action was impressive.
Even though I was a fan of the original 3 movies, I'm not roped into this crap. Amazon, I want my $4 back please...
4965118
This was a horrible movie. Watched a half  hour and gave up. I wish I could get my money back
1523653
This movie tries to offer some deep thought but comes out as nothing more then what is commen today...empty shallowness.  The movie serves no purpose.....while its supposed to come off as being "funny" to me it just came off as being incredibly stupid.  Its something about the meaning of life and yes there are some deeper truths in it like about what does it mean to be pretty...and such. but truth is its lost in the paper thin plot that you will never really get anything out of it unless your one of those people who over analyzes everything.  The only reason i watched the whole thing was to see if there was going to be some earth shattering ending that would make the whole thing make seance.......there is none.  The very opening of the movie where the guy starts cursing for no reason at all pretty much sums up the entire movie..  Made for people who have no brains and anyone who actually find this movie interesting has about as much personality as the people in the movie did.

One of the stupidest movies i have seen in a long time.  I don't understand how some critics can give some other movies 1 or 2 stars that are actually pretty good and then give bs like this a high review when its a total waste of time.

Its one of those movies that you hear was pretty good so you sit and watch the whole thing hoping to find something at least in the end to make it all worthwhile....some big finish that would make you say "ooh that was worth it"

there is no such finish.

Save your money for something else this is not even worth watching once.
699504
Amazon really needs to add zero stars for this movie.  Movie starts with an average IQ and only a few minor issues early on.  By the time of the church scene I would say it was a dumb but entertaining version of bond.  The church scene was much too graphic and it was clear it reveled in the violence and thought nothing of its impact.  That's enough to get it a 2 star ranking, but you add the Princes Tilde scene at the end with the new years eve themed head explosions and you have one of the worst movies ever made.
1864696
I WANT THE 2 PLUS HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK I WASTED watching this movie.  How it ever got a 4 star rating is well beyond me.........I want the time back and I want my money back
4767609
This movie is now on my list of the 5 worst movies I've ever seen.  Another reviewer mentioned plot.  There is no plot.  Just alot of talking psycho babble.  I kept watching only in hopes that a clever twist would appear.  It never did.  Not one nanosecond made any sense.
3454213
Theres a reason there are so many 1 star reviews, this movie is a dud. I loved the original and thought this might be a visually updated version of the same great movie. It was not. Trust me, the bad reviews of this movie are NOT just a sign of the fact that everyone thinks they're a critic these days and cant even enjoy a movie. While I believe that to be true this movie really does suck. The remade scenes were such a letdown, the characters and dialogue feel awkwardly unnatural, and there were even obvious signs of scenes being edited out. It wasn't scary, it wasn't clever, it wasn't visually entertaining. This is the first movie I've watched in a while where I wanted my money back when it was over. Boo.
3306199
this is about as bad as it gets. I was really bored and pulled it up on my cables on demand, and I turned it off after the diving off the damn scene (which was in the first 5-8 minutes). A high budget cheesy movie is about as bad as a low budget one. This stinks, and I don't care who is in it!
4722165
One word sums this movie up. CRAP! I still want the $14 back I spent all those years ago at the theater to watch this.
1488839
this was the worst film i've seen to date and the biggest waste of my time.

i watched this solely based on a buzzfeed list of best horror films of 2015, and this was the first on the list. if this list is accurate, 2015 must have had a very, very bad year for horror films. the movie was slow, i found myself tapping my foot impatiently waiting for something, ANYTHING to happen...and when something finally did start happening it was basically over and i'm very pissed i wasted precious money on this pathetic excuse for a film.

no, i'm not one of "those people" that watches a movie and focuses on things like character development...i watch a movie and take it at face value. sorry not sorry. i'm not a critic and i don't get paid to care about the deeper meaning of things.
1989373
Movie was ok, most of the funny stuff was in previews.  Wont bother seeing it again.  I would feel better if it was rented for $1.99.
380490
I recorded this on my DVR service it long and boring and fails big time in holding viewers attention. After about 30 mins I hit skip forward and until I got to end and it was just more of the same.  I hit delete once it got to credits  it only at best  a 1 star movie I give it 2 if it been in color & not the very poor quality grainy  B&W format.