Realistic look at the strains of infertility
597891
From the outside looking in, India and Jeremy appear to have it all. Jeremy gave up the corporate world to pursue his dream of becoming a science fiction writer. India is self-employed as a photographer. They have a good, solid marriage and are completely head-over-heels in love with each other. The one thing...one person that would make their lives complete is a baby.

Lainey is headed to L.A. She has big dreams of becoming a reality TV star. Her plans are set in motion and money has been saved. There's just one problem: she's pregnant. This is SO not part of her plan. Especially because Trav is the father. He certainly isn't "daddy material". To Lainey, her pregnancy is just a minor setback. She can give up the baby for adoption and still pursue her dream of moving to L.A.

When Lainey meets Jeremy and India, things immediately are awkward followed by complicated. As Lainey's baby bump grows, her relationship with the couple takes an interesting turn.

In When You Least Expect It, Gaskell tackles the subject of infertility. She illustrates the hopelessness a couple feels following several, unsuccessful fertility treatments, the financial worries of living paycheck to paycheck in order to adopt and finally the pure elation of holding your baby for the first time.

Lasting impression: When You Least Expect It is a book once you start, you will not put down until the last page is read. Told in alternating chapters, the reader can easily relate to the three main characters.
2415492
I love this book!  I love the personal stories and the way it is written.  It's a must read for anyone struggling with infertility.  It's also has much valuable medical and ethical information relating to the subject.  If you're looking for a book on infertility, this is it.
2014771
This book is thoughtfully written, including reflections from the author's own experiences, whom writes with obvious compassion for the reader. I was deeply encouraged by the stories of biblical women highlighted, woven with understanding of the pain of loss that comes with infertility, and the path of walking with God through such sorrow. Loss and infertility can be emotionally exhausting - this book was written in a way that the reader could move through and glean at their own pace. I recommend this book to anyone experiencing infertility themselves, or those who love someone experiencing such loss. How good to remember and read that God has not left the barren woman alone, but abides with us in our darkest places, and brings hope and redemption through His son Jesus, even in our sorrow.
3098687
This book offers a real alternative for those of us who don't want to receve just the treatment of a symptom, but want answers and solutions for infertility, cramps, irregular cycles, miscarriage,... This book offers the answers I've been looking for. Infertility is a very sensible topic, and most of the doctors just send you to the fertility clinics where they sell you IVF treatments, but no real solutions for your problem, which they don't even look at.
This is a book all medical doctor and medical student should read. It opens the perspectives, presents a different way to look (and practice, if you are a specialist) the gynecology and obstetrics.
Although the author is Catholic, he presents arguments in this book that are valid for everyone. All it needs is an open mind to consider a totaly different way to consider women's health.
1540646
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this Kindle single. Ms. Finn has shared her very personal story of her 32+ months trying to create "pre-people" via multiple IVF treatments. The author brilliantly weaves facts, statistics, and humor into what is an otherwise emotionally-charged and often controversial medical procedure.
2680347
First of all, this is a fascinating and extremely well-told and honest look at one person's experience with infertility and having a severely-premature child in a NICU.  The author covers the experience in vivid detail, yet with a detachment and wry humor that keeps the book very readable.  I would NOT recommend this book for anyone who's trying to become pregnant or who is already pregnant, but it's a great read for anyone else who's not already emotionally invested in a birth.  It is simply a very well-written, compelling book.

That said, there's a subtext running through the book, the author's anxiety, which I found fascinating, because I share it, although to a lesser degree.  (One of the comments that rang true for me in the book is when the author observed that while optimists see the glass half-full, and pessimists see the glass half-empty, those of us with anxiety issues see the glass and think about how the contents are evaporating and will soon be totally gone.)  Anxiety is a tremendous happiness killer, and to no real purpose.  The things we fear are rarely the things that happen, and anxiety is rarely helpful in preparation; if anything, anxiety ensures that we'll already be exhausted when a real problem strikes.  Aside from the compelling story of the NICU, I found her description of how her life-long (severe) anxiety resolved over this experience to be quite interesting.  Having a real problem that absorbed her life and which she was able to overcome gave her a new perspective and a peace about day to day living.  This alone, for me, makes the book worth another read.

In short, this is a terrific book, very well-written, that will give you a first-hand look at like in a NICU.  But it will also give you some good perspective for how to take life one day at a time, and enjoy the life you have.
4610666
This seems to be a faithful reporting of a mother's (and family's) life leading up to and during the pregnancy and birth of a daughter with a chromosomal disorder.  Trisomy18 insures the child will have multiple and severe health problems and most probably will die early in life if not before birth.  The bulk of this book speaks to the background of these people who often remind me of the flower children of the 60s.  It is a accounting of the struggle they went through in getting help when doctors, hospitals, and other professionals felt this life was not worth the time, money and effort to save.  It is a testament to people who firmly believed that all life is precious.
604918
I have been struggling with secondary infertility since giving birth to my son in 2005 - who was conceived without any issues. Ten years of heart break, big question marks (why me?), no help, no support, let alone answers from the medical establishment. All I got to ever hear from fertility specialists in Australia, Germany and now America is that: "We do not know what went wrong with you. But one thing is sure, statistics tell us that you will never conceive again naturally. " These words have the potential to destroy a person, since they are stated by experts and backed up by statistics. Indeed after every "diagnosis", I needed literally years (!!) to pick myself up again. But by a stroke of luck, I came across Julia's book a few days after my last expert verdict in August 2015. While reading the first few pages, I suddenly remembered a quote I had come across while doing my PhD in economics: "There are three degrees of comparison among liars. There are lies, there are outrageous lies, and there are statistics". I began laughing wholeheartedly - how could I have ever been so silly to fall into the trap of thinking that statistics are more reliable in medicine than in economics? I KNOW how  economics statistics are made to work - I myself have an "expert" title! Statistics can by their very nature never take the individuals situation into account. The nicest example is the famous "Average" - if I put one foot into boiling water and the other foot into a bucket of ice, the average temperature is well...average! But both my feet will be useless at the end of this experiment. I believe Julia would call this sudden insight as "the ultimate mom" talking. Julia urges us in her book to begin trusting our instincts again and turn the heart break into something that will make you grow as an individual - no matter if a baby results from your journey or not.
Hence a note of WARNING: Julia's book is NOT a run-of-the-mill "how to conceive" book. You will not get a fool proof recipe/algorithm from this book on how to get pregnant. It is the honest, sometimes wordy, sometimes clumsily written account of a woman who chose to face her biggest fears and personal issues brought forth by a huge obstacle in the form of a diagnosis called "infertility". Although she began her journey as a quest to get pregnant, her journey to conception transformed into a quest to conceive who she could become and give birth to a new Julia.
I highly recommend Julia's book to any woman who is at the end of her fertility rope and needs something that tells her: " You will be ok". Julia gave me what I needed most: HOPE. Hence I wish to end with a quote by Charles H. Spurgeon: " Hope itself is like a star - no to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity and only to be discovered in the night of adversity." May you - who is currently reading this- be blessed at the end of your quest with what you most desire.
2663083
This is a continous  journey for twin sisters and their respective spouses. Anyone who has ever  suffered infertility can relate. This was as if it was happening to you or someone close to you. It gives a new perspective on others and their lives. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
1031266
Janita does it again!

A painful book to read, in many ways. You are literally drawn in to the world of a woman's experience of infertility and all that that entails. Eleven letters making a word that by itself, cannot even BEGIN to describe what it truly means. The levels of despair, the torturous inner journey, the impact on a relationship, the absolute emotional roller coaster that it is...

With warmth, humour.... LOTS of humour... Janita immerses you in the world of IVF and the long, convoluted, often painful and never certain path towards motherhood. As a male reader, I have come away from reading this with a MASSIVE amount of renewed respect and in awe of the whole process of creating life. It's a book that every male should read. A truly inspiring and deeply emotional tour of the female physche... Thank you Janita ... and serious big admiration for all women and their partners, who are going through this experience!
3853163
This is an excellent book for those struggling with infertility or miscarriages.  It is also a good one to read for those who want to understand what others may be going through.  It is well written, in a way that holds the interest of the reader, with short stories woven in here and there.  I have found this to be my favorite as a gift for friends who are struggling with issues we struggled with at one time.
3117866
I was so moved by this essay. Holly Finn writes from the front lines of her unsuccessful (thus far) battle to have a baby through IVF. Not only does she describe her own experience (in lovely, heartbreaking, sometimes ruefully funny language), but she explores the societal reasons that IVF has become so prevalent. One of her  points is that, in our culture, the post-collegiate rush to establish a career happens to coincide with the time of women's peak fertility. But, unlike some other writers on this subject, she doesn't blame women for this reality! Instead, she speaks realistically of the need for women for whom childbearing is an absolute priority to start planning for it before she did. While the essay is full of factual details about the IVF process and about social trends, it also colors in the author's personal history--the medical, professional and romantic considerations that led her to delay childbearing. Any woman who is going through the IVF process, or considering it, or wondering if one day she will want to consider it, should read this.
3176039
Chances are, you are someone you know struggles with infertility. After all, about one in six American couples do. This silent cross is often wrought with confusion, depression, and spiritual darkness, which push many couples toward alternatives like in vitro fertilization or surrogate parenthood.

Until now, there hasn't been a one-stop guide for Catholic couples facing these difficulties. But two Catholic women, who have each experienced infertility, have produced a new book titled&nbsp;<a data-hook="product-link-linked" class="a-link-normal" href="/The-Infertility-Companion-for-Catholics-Spiritual-and-Practical-Support-for-Couples/dp/1594712891/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_txt?ie=UTF8">The Infertility Companion for Catholics: Spiritual and Practical Support for Couples</a>&nbsp;(Ave Maria Press, paperback, 256 pages). Angelique Ruhi-Lopez and Carmen Santamaria have created the go-to guide for Catholics experiencing infertility and their book fills a great need.

The Infertility Companion is primarily designed for couples struggling with infertility, yet there's something for everyone. While my wife and I haven't faced this ourselves, we know several couples that have. Being compassionate in those situations can be hard as I'm often left wondering what to say or how to help. So I was thrilled to find a chapter in this book on how family and friends can help couples with this burden. The authors provide concrete suggestions, including things you should never say to struggling couples and tips on how to act with compassion.

The Infertility Companion also probes the moral ramifications of different reproductive technologies such as fertility treatments, artificial insemination, and in vitro fertilization. Both authors admit the strong temptation to take the "easy way out," to use reproductive technology that seem morally neutral at first glance. But like the Church, they encourage couples to explore more deeply solutions that maintain dignity and jive with natural law. Most people will be surprised to learn that the Catholic Church doesn't offer a blanket "no" to all reproductive technologies. In fact the authors cover seven different technologies that are morally acceptable for Catholics.

The book also beautifully explores the pain and emotions of infertility, especially from a spiritual perspective. The authors show how even though infertility can be a "cross," it can actually help you grow closer to God and provide deeper meaning and purpose.

The Infertility Companion closes with a robust Appendix full of resources. You'll find local Catholic ethicists, medical and mental health referrals, and a clear glossary of terms and procedures related to infertility.

With raving endorsements from moms, theologians, pro-life activists, and even a senior researcher at the National Catholic Bioethics Center, this book should be the first choice for those dealing with infertility and a helpful guide for their family and friends.
458488
I liked the reality of the issues of marriage. It reveals the truth of how choices parents make, effect the children, even after they become adults.
It was very down to earth. It shows what the Power of God can do in relationships .
2743195
When I saw that this book would deal with various aspects of infertility I was afraid I would find it a bit tedious.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that those issues were just a backdrop for a wonderful story about a group of women bonded for life through a child.  I enjoyed really getting to know each of the characters and felt that each of their stories was relate-able at different levels and found that I really cared about each one.  I would love to know how they're doing 10 or 15 years in the future!
3959019
In these well-crafted poems, Donna Vorreyer lets us know what it's like to be unable to have a child. I've read lots of poems about motherhood, pregnancy, and lactation, but far fewer about infertility. The grief expressed in the poems is all the more poignant because it is offered without self-pity. The poet wisely does not attempt to include poems on a wide variety of subjects, but has instead put together a collection that is thematically unified. As we move through the poems section by section, a story unfolds. The poet takes us through her failed attempts to conceive a child, to the pain of listening to friends talk about their babies, and ultimately to the joy of adoption.
613353
The author, herself a gestational surrogate (twice at time of writing), spent a lot of the book describing her feelings of what it was for her to be a surrogate, and why she chose to do so.  She also added that most surrogates provide their bodies and lives, not for finances, but in order to give childless couples what not one else could, including the intended "biological" parents.  However, as a result of this decision the author decided that she only wanted to surrogate for childless couples.  To know you are carrying a child (yours or not) and knowing you have to "give up" that child is something that requires a strength and courage that only can come from God and this should never be discounted or made light of.

However, with my husband and I already having children and always desiring a larger family which we would have gladly created if possible... after the birth of our last child I had severe complications and due to the careless hand of a doctor my uterus was left completely destroyed which resulted not only in emotional pain as we suffered 10 miscarriages in 18 months, but also in physical pain not only due to my uterus, but to the 5 "corrective" surgeries I had which finally ended in a total hysterectomy (removal of my uterus and cervix but leaving my tubes and ovaries).  I share this because after reading this book, I realized that if most surrogates thought like she did (surrogating only to childless couples) that we may never be chosen for her or their generosity... even though after my hysterectomy my doctor relayed that I "had the most beautiful tubes and ovaries she had ever seen" telling us "gestational surrogacy would be the most perfect option for us in creating the family we so longed to have."

The author did provide little descriptions about what occurs during the "getting pregnant" time.  She also shared some of the differences and feelings that occurred by the surrogate, and barely the intended mother, during a traditional (artificial insemination) and a gestational (IVF) surrogacy.

Sections were also written regarding the pregnancy, the birth, and after the child was born... however all of this was from the perspective of the surrogate.  Only, I skipped a lot of this part as I knew what to expect during labor, birth, and delivery.  However, it was very cool to read that after one of the babies was born the intended mother dried it off as the father and mother cut the cord together.

There was a GOOD and HELPFUL section of the book that addressed surrogacy in general... items that must be addressed in a contract which need to be agreed upon by both the intended parent and the surrogate such as the number of embryos transferrd, how many transferred attempted, abortion (due to amnio or CVS, selective reduction, how much contact during and after the pregnancy/birth, whether or not to use an agency or find a surrogate independently, laws, etc.

Overall... obviously I was not impressed.  I was looking for a book that discussed the in's and out's of surrogacy (especially gestational), not a journal of a surrogate mother.