how to deal with someone who is borderline?
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Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out. Avoid getting defensive in the face of accusations and criticisms, no matter how unfair you feel they are. Defending yourself will only make your loved one angrier. Walk away if you need to give yourself time and space to cool down.
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['Avoid criticizing or blaming the person for their psychosis or the actions related to their psychosis.', "Avoid denying or arguing with them about their reality “That doesn't make any sense! ... ", "Don't take what they say personally. ... ", 'Do not directly confront them.']
564598
For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational. But if you're dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is probably at once familiar and remarkable; the deep stigma attached to BPD—and specifically having relationships with someone who has BPD—makes stories of intact relationships all too rare.
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A friendship with someone who has borderline personality disorder (BPD) is not always easy. There may be times when your friend feels totally hopeless or out of control, causing you to feel helpless as well. While there is no cure for BPD, with the right treatment and support, people with BPD can get better.
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An essential part of loving someone with borderline personality disorder is realizing that you cannot fix them. You can have a close, loving, meaningful relationship with them and provide invaluable support, but you cannot heal their illness. What you can do is help them connect with high-quality treatment options.
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['maintain a calm and non-threatening attitude.', "try to understand the crisis from the person's point of view.", "explore the person's reasons for distress."]
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['Discouraged borderline personality disorder.', 'Impulsive borderline personality disorder.', 'Petulant borderline.', 'Self-destructive borderline.']
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['Set boundaries first. Just want a fling? ... ', 'Give the person a time limit. ... ', "Don't automatically blame yourself. ... ", "Don't “treat” your feelings with substance abuse. ... ", 'Spend time with friends or family. ... ', 'Seek professional help.']
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['Resist the urge to judge or assume. ... ', 'Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole. ... ', 'Disarm their negativity, even if just for now. ... ', 'Temper your emotional response. ... ', "Question what you're getting out of it. ... ", 'Remember the numbers. ... ', "Don't take it personally, but know that sometimes it is personal. ... ", 'Act instead of just reacting.']
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With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
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['Educate yourself. This is the first thing you should do when you start a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder. ... ', 'Ask about their experience. ... ', 'Try to be patient. ... ', 'Be open. ... ', 'Support their care. ... ', 'Get support when you need it.']
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Borderlines may engage in chronic manipulation of their loved ones using jealousy, control or threats to avoid abandonment only to heighten the risk of being abandoned due to clingy, needy or controlling behaviors. Narcissists manipulate by devaluing and discarding their victims to humiliate and control them.
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['Remain calm, listen to what they are saying, ask open-ended questions.', 'Reassure them and acknowledge their grievances.', 'Provide them with an opportunity to explain what has angered them. ... ', 'Maintain eye contact, but not prolonged.']
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Validate their sadness, send them a funny gif or a funny picture of yourself or another thing that is funny. Ask them what has made them sad, a lot of times just being there to listen and not try to fix why they feel this way helps. Hope these suggestions help.
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Focus on the things you want, and focus on the things you're grateful for. For everything else, lean into the help of a mental health professional and trust in the process that is healing from and overcoming quiet BPD.
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["Engaging in physical activity. If you're having trouble coping with BPD, physical activity may help you regain control over your emotions and stabilize yourself. ... ", 'Taking time for yourself. ... ', 'Writing letters or emails to people but never sending them. ... ', 'Taking breaks. ... ', 'Keeping busy.']
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["Accept Their Authority: Don't Fight It. It's best to pick your fights or you'll always be at war. ... ", "Remove Negative Emotions. It's easy to get emotional. ... ", 'Understand Their Negativity. ... ', 'Ask for Advice and Listen. ... ', 'Be Tactful and Honest. ... ', 'Make Them Feel Good. ... ', 'Tailor Your Communication.']