what does it mean when a guy says he's not ready to commit?
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Paul: “I'm not ready” is a guy's way of saying one of two things: (1) “We're moving at different paces, and I need you to allow me to move at my own pace,” or (2) “I'm just not that into you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings.”
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If your guy seems straight up terrified at making big decisions that would impact both of your futures, like deciding to buy a house, or even getting a pet together, it may mean he's getting a case of cold feet and wants to ensure there are no big issues to deal with should he decide to bolt.
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He might want to date you and wants to see if there is anyone in the way. It means he is interested and is vetting you for a potential long term prospect. What should I do if I feel ready to get married and my boyfriend says he's ready too, but I don't think he is?
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It's a sign of emotional immaturity — he just needs to figure out what his issues are and what he really wants. That's a tough gig… being in a relationship with someone who doesn't know what they want.
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At this more serious end, he fears that your relationship's problems might be insoluble, and asking for 'space' – by which he means a temporary separation – might shock you into truly listening to him. Men expect to solve their problems on their own.
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If he's making excuses as to why he can't be in a relationship, it really means that he's not interested in being in a relationship with you. That might sound blunt, but if I gave you sweet sounding lies you would be stuck in the same situation weeks, months, or years from now.
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When a guy says he wants to see where things go with you, he's basically shouting out, “I don't want to make a commitment!” He's hoping to keep things casual. That's really the opposite of taking a stand and saying, “I want to date you exclusively.” So what the hell are you guys doing?
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And if a guy says he doesn't want to get married, you should believe him. Maybe it's because he's incapable of liking someone past a certain point (a point that would lead to a commitment), or maybe he just doesn't see himself with someone like you for reasons beyond your control. It doesn't matter.
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Men who have never been in relationships before also tend to want to move things really fast. It may be because they feel they have a lot of catching up to do. Just be patient and reassure him that your desire to take things slow is not a sign of disinterest.
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It's the same thing that anyone means when making excuses not to do something; they don't want to hurt your feelings by saying that they just don't want to hang out with you. This type of response from a guy should always be taken as a sign that he isn't interested in you and you should just forget about him.
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That simply means that he wants to do relationship things without labeling it and that also means that he wants to be available to other girls when the time comes. Listen to him. Don't try to change his mind and don't try to make the effort to be with him and “make” him miraculously fall in love with you.
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It means he isn't sure about what he wants with you. It means he is non commital. It means you're not exactly the woman who makes his heart skip a beat. It means he does not mind dating you, but is unsure of any level of commitment above that.
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He makes plans and actually sticks to them If a man has serious intentions, he becomes reliable. Bailing and flaking is not an option. Also, he will not shy away from making future plans with you, like vacations together for example.
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A guy who is ready to settle down is the opposite. He prioritizes the relationship and wants to make it better. He wants to meet your needs and be the man you deserve. MORE: Why He Won't Commit. Now, he may also prioritize other things like his career and such, but you will know that you matter to him.
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It means that he wants physical relations with you but was nervous about asking. And he plays it off as a joke… unless you really wanna do it. What he's looking for is affirmation from you that you feel the same way that he does.
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"Sometimes people aren't interested in relationships because they have had an insecure attachment in the past. Being in a relationship may not be safe. Commitment is too scary. So they may come close, but when push comes to shove, they don't take the plunge," says Slatkin.
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The biggest sign a man is ready to commit is that he wants to commit … meaning, he wants the same kind of relationship you want. He is at a point in his life where he wants to settle down with one person. ... She can't … and then she laments that all men are “commitment-phobes” and life isn't fair.