App.Desc.Player.boobs = function() {
	const r = [];
	let frag;

	if (passage() === "Manage Personal Affairs") {
		if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of H-cup breasts.</span>`);
			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
				r.push(`They are big, round, and obviously implants. They barely move when you fuck your slaves.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`They are all natural, heavy, and a bit saggy though they have some perk to them. Once they get going, it's hard to make them stop.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel even more enormous lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1200) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of G-cup breasts.</span>`);
			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
				r.push(`They are kind of rounded and much too perky for their size to pass as real. They have a bit of bounce to them as you fuck a slave.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`They are all natural and a little heavy. The bounce everywhere when you fuck your slaves.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel even more huge lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1000) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of F-cup breasts.</span>`);
			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
				r.push(`They are nice, perky and not obviously implants. Though the way they move when you fuck a slave pins them as such.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`They are nice and perky, despite their size. They bounce lewdly as you fuck your slaves.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 800) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">healthy pair of DD-cup breasts.</span> They are nice, perky and jiggle pleasantly with your every move.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel fuller lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 650) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of D-cup breasts.</span> They are nice, perky and bounce pleasantly as you fuck your slaves.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 500) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of C-cup breasts.</span> They are nice and perky, with just a little bounce when you fuck your slaves.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 400) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">pair of B-cup breasts.</span> They are nice and perky, with almost no bounce when you fuck your slaves.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 300) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">tiny pair of A-cup breasts.</span> They are nice and perky, but that's about it.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`They feel a bit bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`Your chest is covered in a light spray of freckles.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`Your chest is covered in dense freckles.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.title === 1) {
			r.push(`you have a <span class="orange">masculine chest.</span>`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your chest feels swollen; the beads of milk forming on your nipples tells you why.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`Your chest is covered in a light spray of freckles.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`Your chest is covered in dense freckles.`);
			}
		} else {
			r.push(`</span>you're flat.</span> You have nothing in the breast department.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your nipples cap a pair of painfully swollen bumps; milk beads from them at the slightest provocation.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`Your chest is covered in a light spray of freckles.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`Your chest is covered in dense freckles.`);
			}
		}
	} else if (passage() === "Economics") {
		if (V.PC.career === "servant") {
			if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
				r.push(`You've gotten your dress let out to accommodate your huge bust.`);
			} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1200) {
				r.push(`Your dress bulges with your big breasts.`);
			} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1000) {
				r.push(`Your dress feels tight around your breasts.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.career === "escort") {
			if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
				r.push(`Your top strains as it struggles to cover your nipples, letting your huge`);
				if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
					r.push(`, freckled`);
				} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
					r.push(`, densely freckled`);
				}
				r.push(` bust bulge lewdly around it.`);
			} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1200) {
				r.push(`Your top can barely contain your big`);
				if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
					r.push(`, freckled`);
				} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
					r.push(`, heavily freckled`);
				}
				r.push(` breasts, leaving you looking sluttier than ever.`);
			} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1000) {
				r.push(`Your breasts spill over your slutty`);
				if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
					r.push(`top, showing off your freckled cleavage.`);
				} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
					r.push(`top, freckle packed cleavage.`);
				} else {
					r.push(`top.`);
				}
			}
		} else {
			if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
				r.push(`You've gotten your top retailored to fit your huge bust.`);
			} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1200) {
				r.push(`Your top strains against your big breasts`);
				if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
					r.push(`breasts, revealing a peak of freckled cleavage.`);
				} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
					r.push(`breasts, revealing a peak of densely freckled cleavage.`);
				} else {
					r.push(`breasts.`);
				}
			} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1000) {
				r.push(`Your top feels tight around your breasts.`);
			}
		}
	} else {
		if (V.PC.boobs >= 1400) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`enormous with light freckling on the tops and in your cleavage.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`enormous and covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`enormous.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
				r.push(`They are big, round, and obviously implants. They insist on maintaining their shape no matter how you move.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`They are all natural, heavy, and a bit saggy though they retain some perk. Every single move you make sends ripples through your cleavage. You catch yourself watching them move in the mirror every so often.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel even more enormous lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1200) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`huge with light freckling on the tops and in your cleavage.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`huge and covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`huge.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
				r.push(`They are unnaturally perky for their size. When you shake them, they barely move.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`They are all natural and a little heavy. They bounce lewdly when you shake them and take a little too long to calm down.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel even more huge lately; this is this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 1000) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are pretty`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`big with light freckling on the tops and in your cleavage.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`big and covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`big.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.boobsImplant > 0) {
				r.push(`They are nice, perky and not obviously implants. They jiggle only slightly when you shake them though.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`They are nice and perky, despite their size. They bounce lewdly when you shake them.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 800) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are on the larger side of`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`things, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`things.`);
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`The tops of your breasts and your cleavage are lightly freckled.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`They are covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 650) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are certainly`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`eye-catching with light freckling on the tops and in your cleavage.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`eye-catching and covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`eye-catching.`);
			}
			r.push(`They are nice and perky, with just the right amount of bounce when you shake them.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 500) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are fairly average, at least to old world`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`standards, with light freckling on the tops and in your cleavage.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`standards, and covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`standards.`);
			}
			r.push(`They are very perky, but aren't big enough to have a nice bounce when you shake them.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 400) {
			r.push(`Your breasts are considered small by most`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`standards, with light freckling on the tops and in your cleavage.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`standards, and covered in freckles, which are particularly dense in the cleft between them.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`standards.`);
			}
			r.push(`Their size makes them extremely perky, at the cost of having little to no bounce.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel bigger lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.boobs >= 300) {
			r.push(`Your breasts, if they can even be called that, are`);
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				r.push(`covered in a light spray of freckles.`);
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				r.push(`covered in dense freckles.`);
			} else {
				r.push(`tiny even by old world standards.`);
			}
			r.push(`On the plus side, no chance of sag.`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				r.push(`Your breasts feel more substantial lately; this is likely a side effect of your lactation, though you could do without the wet spots forming over your nipples.`);
			}
		} else if (V.PC.title === 1) {
			r.push(`Your chest is quite`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				frag = `masculine, though the pair of wet spots forming over your nipples suggest otherwise,`;
			} else {
				frag = `masculine`;
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				frag += ` and covered in a light spray of freckles.`;
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				frag += ` and covered in dense freckles.`;
			} else {
				frag += `.`; // all this frag bs is to make sure there is no space before the period.  Sigh.
			}
			r.push(frag);
		} else {
			r.push(`Your chest is`);
			if (V.PC.lactation > 0) {
				frag = `non-existent, save for the pair of bulging milk glands beneath your nipples,`;
			} else {
				frag = `non-existent`;
			}
			if (V.PC.markings === "freckles") {
				frag += ` and covered in a light spray of freckles.`;
			} else if (V.PC.markings === "heavily freckled") {
				frag += ` and covered in dense freckles.`;
			} else {
				frag += `.`;
			}
		}
	}
	return r.join(" ");
};

src/player/desc/playerBoobs.js