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" A few of my co-workers and friends have asked if I get nervous publishing my sex life on the World Wide Web. My response is simple: &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t have much of a sex life. What&amp;#039;s there to talk about?&amp;quot; &amp;quot;But what about your mother? Aren&amp;#039;t you mortified?&amp;quot; one person inquired. My response: &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m thinking my mom doesn&amp;#039;t have much of a sex life either if she&amp;#039;s tuning into her daughter&amp;#039;s bedroom antics. So no. Not so worried.&amp;quot; All this talk about no sex has got me thinking, though. Goodhousekeeping.com, out of the goodness of their hearts, took a big chance on me. I had better get on the ball (hee hee) and earn my keep! But how? Perhaps Rex and I need some new locations to spicen things up. But, second &amp;quot;w&amp;quot; question of the night, where? We&amp;#039;ve got two kids aged five and three. By the time you arrange for the in-laws to watch the kids for the weekend so you and the hubster can hit the hay at the Motel 6, you&amp;#039;re exhausted before you even start. One might suggest not telling them you&amp;#039;re going for a quickie at the local motel, but hell... they&amp;#039;ll find out about it soon enough if they read my blog. Which means they&amp;#039;re not having anymore of a sex life than my mother is if she&amp;#039;s checking in, so back to my original theory: Why worry? Fore-playing... er... foregoing the hotel, perhaps we could try a different room in the house. The kitchen. The kitchen&amp;#039;s good. But the kitchen is so old. Instead of concentrating on Rex, I&amp;#039;d be mentally redoing the 1950&amp;#039;s tile. And exactly where to place that vintage tin sign? &amp;quot;Over there. Yes. Over there. No. No. It&amp;#039;s soooo much better over here. Oh, yes, that&amp;#039;s good!&amp;quot; Being 6&amp;#039;1&amp;quot;, my high butt would probably knock a pot (probably unwashed) off the counter. The only screams that night? The kids, running down the stairs to see what crashed on the floor.  The living room is too close to the street. The TV room would be like having a quickie in a Toys &amp;#039;R Us catalog. The backyard could work, but my hermit neighbor has beehives. I was once stung on the boob at the park when a bee flew into my shirt. If one of the next door bees stung Rex&amp;#039;s... thigh... I can only imagine the pain. No, the best recourse at this point is our bedroom. Planned. When the kids are sleeping and Battlestar Gallactica has been safely stored in Tivo. Like that show, sex in a different room right now seems a bit alien. But I hear when the kids get older there&amp;#039;s life out there. Maybe by then I&amp;#039;ll even have a new kitchen. Ooooh, yessss! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a2287/where-to-have-sex/>