Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her word choice?
When I said that I wanted to take a cooking class, I didn't know what I was getting into. I love cooking, but I'm very shy and hate being in the spotlight. The first time the teacher asked me to do a culinary technique, my hands were sweating profusely. As I held the heavy utility knife in my sweaty hand, it fell to the floor. The class had just started, and I had already made a terrible first impression! My face was red, but I got the knife, put it in the sink, took a clean one, and cut the slab of raw bluefin tuna into paper-thin pieces. Everyone in the class—even the instructor—gave me a round of applause.
by adding technical terms by using more precise verbs by using words with more appropriate connotations
During peer review, you read and respond to a fellow student's writing. While there are many methods and strategies that you can use for reviewing a text, it is generally helpful to frame your suggestions in concrete and constructive ways and to consider the following areas for revision:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear idea and develop it with evidence, examples, or analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that they build on one another and are easy to follow?
Voice: Does the writer maintain an appropriate voice, such as a formal and objective voice in an academic essay or an engaging and expressive voice in a narrative essay?
Sentence fluency: Does the writer use sentences that vary in structure and length to create a sense of rhythm and flow within and between sentences, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer follow appropriate conventions, using accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her word choice by using more precise verbs.
For example, the writer could replace the underlined words with verbs such as announced, realize, adore, abhor, demonstrate, gripped, clanged, retrieved, deposited, selected, and sliced.
When I said that I wanted to take a cooking class, I didn't know what I was getting into. I love cooking, but I'm very shy and hate being in the spotlight. The first time the teacher asked me to do a culinary technique, my hands were sweating profusely. As I held the heavy utility knife in my sweaty hand, it fell to the floor. The class had just started, and I had already made a terrible first impression! My face was red, but I got the knife, put it in the sink, took a clean one, and cut the slab of raw bluefin tuna into paper-thin pieces. Everyone in the class—even the instructor—gave me a round of applause.