Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her grammar and mechanics?
Nearly out of breath, the door at the top of the stairs swings open, and I find myself on the main observation deck on the eighty-sixth floor of the Empire State Building. What a view there is! Looking down from this impressive landmark, New York City is displayed before me in every direction. To the southwest, the Statue of Liberty stands on Liberty Island in New York Harbor. This deck is one of the world's most famous movie sets, and it's also where my father proposed to my mother in 1995.
by fixing sentence fragments by correcting misplaced modifiers by fixing run-on sentences
During peer review, you read and respond to a fellow student's writing. While there are many methods and strategies that you can use for reviewing a text, it is generally helpful to frame your suggestions in concrete and constructive ways and to consider the following areas for revision:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear idea and develop it with evidence, examples, or analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that they build on one another and are easy to follow?
Voice: Does the writer maintain an appropriate voice, such as a formal and objective voice in an academic essay or an engaging and expressive voice in a narrative essay?
Sentence fluency: Does the writer use sentences that vary in structure and length to create a sense of rhythm and flow within and between sentences, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer follow appropriate conventions, using accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her grammar and mechanics by correcting misplaced modifiers.
For example, the writer could revise the text so that Nearly out of breath modifies I instead of the door and Looking down from this impressive landmark modifies I instead of New York City.
Nearly out of breath, the door at the top of the stairs swings open, and I find myself on the main observation deck on the eighty-sixth floor of the Empire State Building. What a view there is! Looking down from this impressive landmark, New York City is displayed before me in every direction. To the southwest, the Statue of Liberty stands on Liberty Island in New York Harbor. This deck is one of the world's most famous movie sets, and it's also where my father proposed to my mother in 1995.