Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her grammar and mechanics?
Everyone agree that recess is important for children in elementary school, but what about middle school students? I believe that students in middle school needs time to relax and have fun during the school day. A period of free time in the afternoons give students the opportunity to go outside and enjoy some fresh air. Studies shows that exercise benefits students' attention spans. Exercise can also reduce stress, which many middle school students face on a daily basis. Therefore, middle school students in our country deserves recess, too.
by fixing subject-verb agreement errors by adding missing commas
During peer review, you read and respond to a fellow student's writing. While there are many methods and strategies that you can use for reviewing a text, it is generally helpful to frame your suggestions in concrete and constructive ways and to consider the following areas for revision:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear idea and develop it with evidence, examples, or analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that they build on one another and are easy to follow?
Voice: Does the writer maintain an appropriate voice, such as a formal and objective voice in an academic essay or an engaging and expressive voice in a narrative essay?
Sentence fluency: Does the writer use sentences that vary in structure and length to create a sense of rhythm and flow within and between sentences, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer follow appropriate conventions, using accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her grammar and mechanics by fixing subject-verb agreement errors.
For example, the writer could change the first underlined verb to agree with the indefinite pronoun everyone and the others to agree with their simple subjects.
Everyone agree that recess is important for children in elementary school, but what about middle school students? I believe that students in middle school needs time to relax and have fun during the school day. A period of free time in the afternoons give students the opportunity to go outside and enjoy some fresh air. Studies shows that exercise benefits students' attention spans. Exercise can also reduce stress, which many middle school students face on a daily basis. Therefore, middle school students in our country deserves recess, too.