Read the following text from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her sentence fluency?
Our school needs to serve better food for lunch. Our lunches should be delicious. Our lunches should be nutritious. Our lunches should be satisfying. One way to achieve this would be to have a salad bar available. Salad bars can contain far more than just lettuce. Fresh fruits can be included in a salad bar. Fresh vegetables can be included. Different kinds of meats and cheeses can be included, too. Even pasta can be stocked in a salad bar. With these healthy options, students can make their own tasty lunches.
by using shorter sentences by combining sentences containing related information
When you review a fellow student's writing, try to make your feedback clear and specific. You can use questions such as the following to guide your feedback:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear main idea and develop it with evidence, examples, and analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that the ideas build on one another and are easy to follow?
Sentence fluency: Do the writer's sentences vary in structure and length, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely, avoiding excessive repetition or inappropriate language to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer use accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her sentence fluency by combining sentences containing related information.
For example, the writer could combine the underlined groups of sentences into sentences like Our lunches should be delicious, nutritious, and satisfying and Fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, and different kinds of meats and cheeses can be included in a salad bar.
Our school needs to serve better food for lunch. Our lunches should be delicious. Our lunches should be nutritious. Our lunches should be satisfying. One way to achieve this would be to have a salad bar available. Salad bars can contain far more than just lettuce. Fresh fruits can be included in a salad bar. Fresh vegetables can be included. Different kinds of meats and cheeses can be included, too. Even pasta can be stocked in a salad bar. With these healthy options, students can make their own tasty lunches.