Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her word choice?
Just about every channel on television today offers some kind of reality TV show. These reality TV shows can often be entertaining and addictive to watch, but they are hardly ever really showing "reality." Participants on reality TV shows often follow a script, and the reality TV shows are often based around artificial scenarios that create conflict. In addition, when people are being filmed, they often act differently from the way they would if they weren't being observed.
by fixing misused words by reducing repetitive language by replacing vague language
During peer review, you read and respond to a fellow student's writing. While there are many methods and strategies that you can use for reviewing a text, it is generally helpful to frame your suggestions in concrete and constructive ways and to consider the following areas for revision:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear idea and develop it with evidence, examples, or analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that they build on one another and are easy to follow?
Voice: Does the writer maintain an appropriate voice, such as a formal and objective voice in an academic essay or an engaging and expressive voice in a narrative essay?
Sentence fluency: Does the writer use sentences that vary in structure and length to create a sense of rhythm and flow within and between sentences, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer follow appropriate conventions, using accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her word choice by reducing repetitive language.
For example, the writer could reduce the use of reality TV shows by using pronouns such as they or phrases such as these programs. Similarly, the writer could reduce the use of often by using synonyms such as frequently.
Just about every channel on television today offers some kind of reality TV show. These reality TV shows can often be entertaining and addictive to watch, but they are hardly ever really showing "reality." Participants on reality TV shows often follow a script, and the reality TV shows are often based around artificial scenarios that create conflict. In addition, when people are being filmed, they often act differently from the way they would if they weren't being observed.