Read the following excerpt from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her sentence fluency?
If you want to improve your life, consider exercise. Exercise does more than just help to build stamina and strength. It can help you control your weight. It can also reduce your chances of getting a serious illness, helping ward off a variety of conditions, such as arthritis, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, loss of muscle mass, osteoporosis (bone loss), stroke, and type 2 diabetes. It can improve your mood by releasing endorphins and lowering stress levels, decreasing the likelihood of depression and anxiety. Exercise can even help you sleep better. For these reasons, people should aim to exercise every day.
by varying sentence length by varying the beginnings of sentences by using more complex sentence structures
During peer review, you read and respond to a fellow student's writing. While there are many methods and strategies that you can use for reviewing a text, it is generally helpful to frame your suggestions in concrete and constructive ways and to consider the following areas for revision:
Ideas and development: Does the writer express a clear idea and develop it with evidence, examples, or analysis?
Organization: Does the writer order ideas in a clear, logical way so that they build on one another and are easy to follow?
Voice: Does the writer maintain an appropriate voice, such as a formal and objective voice in an academic essay or an engaging and expressive voice in a narrative essay?
Sentence fluency: Does the writer use sentences that vary in structure and length to create a sense of rhythm and flow within and between sentences, or does the writing sound choppy, rambling, or repetitive?
Word choice: Does the writer use words accurately and precisely to create clear, effective, and engaging writing?
Grammar and mechanics: Does the writer follow appropriate conventions, using accurate spelling, punctuation, and grammar to create writing that is correct and easy to read?
The writer could best improve his or her sentence fluency by varying the beginnings of sentences.
For example, the writer could revise the underlined text.
If you want to improve your life, consider exercise. Exercise does more than just help to build stamina and strength. It can help you control your weight. It can also reduce your chances of getting a serious illness, helping ward off a variety of conditions, such as arthritis, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, loss of muscle mass, osteoporosis (bone loss), stroke, and type 2 diabetes. It can improve your mood by releasing endorphins and lowering stress levels, decreasing the likelihood of depression and anxiety. Exercise can even help you sleep better. For these reasons, people should aim to exercise every day.