Prompt:
I want to start off by saying that my husband and I aren’t broke, but we also aren’t flushed with cash. We work hard but we have bills to pay, three kids, etc.

When our eldest daughter started looking at colleges, she really wanted to go to a school out of state that would require her and us to fly there and back (an over 20 hour drive). It’s not something we could afford to do often. We didn’t tell her it was impossible to go there, but we told her if she went there, she would have to work a part time job to save up for her plane tickets home and decide which holidays and breaks were important to her. We wouldn’t be upset at all and would understand. Sure enough, she chose the school and has been doing so. We did make one exception and that was when all this crazy stuff happened. She had to leave ASAP and fly home, obviously couldn’t afford it on no notice. We dipped into savings to help her.

Since then she’s been home, doing distance schooling and recently finished for the semester. She did admit she was debating transferring and said it was because of the costs of flying home and that we don’t help her. She pointed out that we probably could a few more holidays a year. I said yes, but it would cut into her younger siblings being able to participate in sporting activities and other extras. That’s not fair to them, as they are minors (13 and 15). We made it clear to her that she is an adult and we can’t afford to help her with this. She said on top of loans for school, she was just stressed and said we should help her more. She said it was our fault she may not be able to go to her dream school anymore.

Are we being assholes here? ######

Response:
 NAH, I'd say. She's stressed about money and hoping you can bail her out. You're being financially prudent and that's fine too.

It's cliche, but this is one of those life lessons for her about how life isn't fair and you just have to do the best you can with what you've got. As kids we're used to parents providing and it takes a bit of a mental shift towards feeling like you can provide for yourself. ######


Prompt:
Context: We share all our chores and cooking and cleaning except laundry, which I’ve offered to do, but my wife says she loves doing the laundry because it’s cathartic for her. We have planned time to take our daughter for alone time and planned dates. And plan out what things we’ll do each week. She currently is a stay at home mom and I work full time. I noticed how stressed my wife lately due to a lot of factors and decided it would be nice to take the morning off work, and clean around the house and do all the dishes, clean the yard, and make things feel more clean and less cluttered. When my daughter asked why I wasn’t at work (she’s 3) I said very lovingly that I wanted to do more chores AND help mom. Mind you this was not any passive aggressive way to signal that my wife wasn’t doing her part because she more than was. My wife was mad at this because she said it implied to our daughter that 1. She can’t hack it on her own to get the things done she wants to get done, and 2. It’s her place as a woman to do all these chores.

I was frustrated and felt this was very petty and nit picking. Especially hard because it was doing this out of pure love for my wife and kid. I told her this, and she is livid. To make matters worse, this is causing serious strife and hurting our relationship very badly. ######

Response:
 NAH, I think. Just two tired stressed people that are feeling misunderstood.  My spouse and I have been married nearly 45 years.  The best thing ever is "What can I do to make your life better today?  You assumed is was dishes and clutter stressing your wife out, so you addressed that, which made her feel judged.  Next time lend an ear and ask how you can lessen the stress, and she will feel heard, and maybe be motivated to return the favor.

" ######


Prompt: I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And today she ate an entire apple pie when I begged her not to do so. I was livid. Out of anger I hid the second pie. AITA Reddit? ######

Response: NAH, I think your mum needs to get her checked out. Uncontrollable cravings like that can mean vitamin or mineral deficiencies. ######


Prompt:
On mobile, sorry for formatting.

I(21f) has been looking for housing for school I'm starting in the fall but due to all corona regulations it's been mostly chatting with people on a facebook page. I found a property that fit what I needed and scheduled an in person visit to see the property. Since I don't have a car my mother(52f) and stepdad(58m) have offered to drive me.
A couple days before going my mom approaches me telling me that my siblings are coming (15m & 10f) which was expected but also how she wanted to find a hotel and spend some time there as a little "family vacation". I told her it's a bad idea because of the pandemic situation plus all 4 years of my undergrad she has turned my going to school into a "family vacation" that usually becomes a stressful event where most of the stress is placed on me. After telling her it's a bad idea she said being stuck home "fucking sucks" and stomped off to her room.
I don't want her in a bad mood because of this plus they're doing me a favor but I adamantly think it's a bad idea. AITA? ######

Response: NAH, I think that you are totally justified being annoyed, but at the same time they are the ones driving you. On top of that staying shut in for 3 months has been pretty awful, especially for people who thrive when going out and doing stuff. I don't think your mother has any ill intentions, and I know you don't either, so I would personally just take the hit and try to be as positive about the whole ordeal as possible. ######


Prompt:
This isn't a huge thing but it's been quietly bugging me for a while so I'd like a second opinion. About 4 years ago I got some new neighbours and they had a 10yo son who I'll refer to as C. I'm not usually a huge fan of kids but over time C has really grown on me.

Now I'm kinda a projects guy, I spend a lot of my time building stuff and in particular working on cars and bikes and stuff in my garage.

So C helps, he started off doing odd jobs and stuff but over the years I've shown him how to do more and more stuff, right now he's at a point where he's pretty handy and I'd trust him to change my break pads without checking the work.

Thing is he comes over and helps out pretty much every weekend and a lot of the projects we've worked on I've recieved some kind of payment for. Mostly just cases of beer and bottles of scotch but sometimes I've taken cash or made cash off the back of work we've done.

AITA here? I've always made sure I pay for snacks and pizza and stuff, shared lunch and stuff and the occasional beer recently. I did give him his first set of tools (hand me downs from me).

Is it fair exchange or do I owe him some sort of back pay? ######

Response: NAH, he's learning life skills, but if you're earning money from the projects he's working on then you should fairly compensate him. It doesn't have to be a 50/50 split of the cash, but the occasional gift like the set of tools sounds fair. ######


Prompt:
 My husband and I are childfree. We don’t want kids, have never wanted kids. I actually got my tubes tied 2 years ago. We’ve been married for the past 10 years, together a total of 12 years.

Before me, my husband had one serious relationship. I knew of her because they had broken up about 2 months before we got together. Never met her, but knew her name and heard of her, etc. About 6 months ago, she added my husband on FB and said they had a kid together. My husband had no idea and I do believe him because while he is childfree, he’s not the type to just skip out on responsibilities. He also told me right away. He asked for a DNA test and it was confirmed that yes, his ex’s daughter is biologically his. His ex said that she didn’t want anything from us, but the young girl wanted to know him.

The thing is, my husband doesn’t want to know her. He’s not the dad type. I think his ex knew and that’s why she didn’t tell him. He’s offered to pay child support going forward which I support, we can afford it. But I’m not going to force him to get to know his daughter. If he chose to, I’d support it but he doesn’t.

I guess in the meantime my ILs have gotten to know the girl, which I think is fine. My husband is okay with it too. However, they think he’s wrong for not seeing her and that I’m “enabling him”. To me, it’s his choice and it’s the right one. I talked to a friend. She and her husband are also childfree. She says that if she were in my shoes, she’d tell him to at least meet her. AITA for not encouraging a relationship with these two? ######

Response:
 NAH, especially not you. I can see the argument for why your husband would be TA (although I'm not sure I agree with it...) But frankly, you have VERY little to do with this whole situation. By agreeing with his plan to pay child support out of what I assume to be your blended finances (as you are married), you're already doing what you need to do.

Tldr

This is not your problem, and you're being very cool about the whole situation ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago (almost two years) but i was pondering on it and wondering.
So my grandma and I had one thing in common, our morbid sense of humor. We bonded over it for years and it was the highlight of our relationship. Well she told me a couple times that she wanted me to dress as the grim reaper for her funeral, to which I agreed. She also wanted Highway to Hell played at her funeral. Her death came as a shock to everyone and everyone was destroyed. I remembered what she had said about how she wanted her funeral and started making the costume and everything, because even if she wasn't serious about it, it would still be one last hoorah to honor my grandmother. Well fast forward to the funeral and my entire family is jumping on my ass for being so disrespectful and I had to tell them straight up, that she was my family too and I even had to tell my grandpa that this was HER funeral, and not his, so I was gonna do what SHE wanted, regardless of how he felt. I worded it differently, so I was more like, "I'm sorry, but this is what she wanted". So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NAH, but you and your grandma could have made your wishes known to people that weren't yourselves. I can understand your family's reaction. ######


Prompt:
My child will be 2 in just a few months and I plan to switch his car seat from rear to forward facing at that point. He'll still be a few pounds below the max weight for his rear facing, but I'm going to switch him anyways. My reasons are he gets carsick and I'm hoping that will help, I'm the only one who loads or unloads him and it's getting painful for both of us, and it's much easier to see and help him while in the car. My husband thinks we should follow the strictest car seat rules, so leave him rear facing until he is exceeding the weight limit. My argument is that he's not the one who loads/unloads or drives him around, plus he'll still be in an approved car seat and has already surpassed the minimum for forward facing.
I finally told him as long as I'm doing all the car seat related activities, and I'm following the law, I'll do it the way I see fit. Now he's says ITA for ignoring what he wants and putting our child at risk. ######

Response: NAH, but this should be a compromise. Having said that, my third child was always car sick. Changing from rear to forward doesn't help that. But covering kid in a blanket during travel does. Or at least it kept puke from getting in the buckles of the straps, which, imo, was the worst part. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

I own a business in a state where weed is not legal. Recently some new tenants moved into the apartments above my store and since they have moved in, most mornings when I come to work my store smells like pot. I have no problem with people who smoke pot, I've been around it many times at parties, and normally I don't care about it. I personally don't smoke but that's just my preference. The only reason I care is because I don't want my business to smell like pot. Air fresheners do not always cut it.

I want to mention this to my landlord so that they stop. Here's the kicker - the apartments above my store are rented by the Department of Corrections (might be DOJ) and the people living there are either recently released from jail/prison or on parole. I do not plan on reporting it to the police, just my landlord. What he does is up to him.

WIBTA for reporting their pot smoking? ######

Response: NAH, but talk to the people first before you report them. Just something like, “hey, I don’t have a problem with either you or weed but I work here and the smell is bad for business. Is there anyway you could smoke somewhere else?” ######


Prompt:
This happened last year, but I’ve been thinking about it again.

My birthday is a few days before Christmas. I was turning 25. My family is my Mom and Dad (50’s) and my brother (then 10).

Presents for Christmas and birthdays in my family are usually quite big (not new cars levels of extravagant, but usually a new tech item, clothes, books, jewellery and random other bits). For my birthday I received what I felt was to date the least thoughtful or fancy gifts I’ve gotten - a lamp and a cookbook. For Christmas it was similar, I received new pots and pans, a print for my wall and a book. By comparison my Mom got a new iPad Pro, my brother got a new gaming laptop, my Dad got a new iPhone (and that was just the ‘big’ present for each of them, they all got 5-10 more things each). To make matters worse, they also decided to celebrate a ‘summer Christmas’ where they all got big new things in the middle of the year as well. I was left out of this, but at the time I thought it was fine.

For them, I got each person one thoughtful present, one useful present, one book and one treat. I really stretched my budget as far as I could and started saving really early in the year to get them all really nice things.

I know I’m an adult, I know you should be grateful for anything you receive (I was thankful for my gifts and never voiced any disappointment) - but I feel sort of sidelined, like an afterthought for being the only one left out of one gift giving event and for being given significantly fewer presents and less fancy ones. Most importantly, I’m upset that my gifts just seemed.... thoughtless, things I didn’t want or need that were just random items. I honestly would have been less upset if even the book I received was even a genre they know I like. Then again, a lot of people are grateful to receive anything, so maybe I’m just being a spoiled brat.

AITA for being upset/ungrateful for the gifts my family got me? ######

Response: NAH, but pots and pans isn’t enough info.  That could be a cheap crap gift to way more valuable than the iPad Pro or iPhone.  Getting someone who is independent a good cookbook and quality kitchen stuff could have been the most expensive gift anyone got.  Unfortunately, once you move out you are in a different category than the sibling who is still at home. ######


Prompt:
My current girl's first and last relationship was kind of abusive as far as she has told me, so she tells me everything she does at any given time.

I have told her that I just want her to be happy and not feeling oppressed or any kind of pressure with me. When I ask her to do something and she says no, I just say okay since she's good enough for me anyway. But for some reason, she continues telling everything she does at any given time and yesterday I got angry at her.

She told me that she had to do the A, B, C stuff and that she would be free in 5 hours, I'm telling her okay, and whenever she was finishing something, she was sending me a "report" that she finished and whenever I sew her name on the text, I was happy because I thought that she finished earlier, buttttttt no. And eventually she was free in exactly 5 hours later and she also gave me full reports almost every hour.

I'm not the Soviet Union, I'm not Kim jong un neither her military Sargent. I'm just her boyfriend and what she does makes me feel like a tyrant. When I told her that, I sew that, she got sad and I just asked her to tell me only if the time changes, nothing else, nothing more. But when I sew her sad for a moment, I felt like a total asshole because she's very good with me. I'm 26 yo and that's the first woman that I have met that sees me as an actual human.

So AITA? And if yes, what can I do? ######

Response: NAH, but is she in therapy? Abusive relationships significantly alter one’s sense of self and habits in a relationship, and she would benefit from working with a professional to address those things. ######


Prompt:
I (20F) will go to university in October. I'll study in a dual system, roughly 60% of it will consist of practical working hours in my home town and 40% of taking classes at a university 3 hours away from my home.

Now, my boyfriend and I will move to the city my university is in together. The plan was (for the longest time) that I would live here with my parents and sister (17F) during work phases.

Internally I had a hard time thinking about this, because I wasn't sure about how well it would work coming back here. However, I never explicitly mentioned his to my family, because I hadn't made a decision yet.

Yesterday during lunch we talked about moving and if I would take any furniture with me or not. It was just then, that my mother told me to sell my bed and other stuff if I didn't need it, so that there would be room for a couch and stuff for my sister. My room will become her living room. Everyone acted as if this was obvious and I didn't say anything. Mom added that I could sleep on the couch, if I wanted to stay with them.

I am hurt. This room doesn't belong to me, it's not my house. But I lived there for the past 10 years and no one felt the need to inform me. All I want is communication. AITA for being angry about that? ######

Response: NAH, but ironic that you are upset at the lack of communication when you also lack communication... ######


Prompt:
My elderly neighbor is hard of hearing, and lives across about 30 yards from me in a different building.  Our patios face each other.  With all of my windows closed and curtains drawn I can tell faintly that he is watching tv when he keeps his patio door closed.  When it is open, which he does during warm weather, I can hear ever single word blaring from the tv inside my house - it's booming loud.  With the stay at home orders, I will definitely have to work from home 100% of the time until June, and likely quite a bit thereafter and find it really tough to concentrate with the commercial jingles and his political news shows screaming all day (literally 9 am to 9 pm).  I am so tempted to purchase a sound amplifier system that includes headphones to give to him as a hopefully peaceful solution, but I don't interact with him much and don't want to offend or come off as demanding him to use the headphones.

Should I just continue living with it and be grumpy about it, or should I try and offer him a tool that helps him, myself, and our other neighbors? ######

Response: NAH, but if he's elderly and hard of hearing, my guess is that the headphones will be too big of a change for him and could be a waste of your money. Best to spend on beefing up the soundproofing of your own workspace instead. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I have a step child that my SO and I see every other weekend. Every year on Mother's Day my MIL sends flowers or a card and signs the step child's name to the gift.

Now, MIL is a VERY kind and well intentioned person and I honestly do appreciate the gifts. My issue is that stepchild has made it clear that they like me and have no issues with me but do not wish to consider me a mother. I am 100% Ok with this, I love the kid and want to respect their feelings. They already have a mom and I feel we have a great relationship without needing that label.
Because of this I know the child does not have any part with the gifts and they are only coming from MIL as she thinks I deserve recognition on Mother's Day.

Would I be the Asshole if I sat down with her and told her that while I appreciate the gifts the child does not feel that way about me and I'd like her to stop signing them from them?? Like I said she is a VERY kind person and I'd hate to hurt her feelings. ######

Response: NAH, but I wouldn't hurt her feelings over this. If you and child both know it's not a mother's day thing between you, then ignore the note and just accept them as a gift of appreciation from MIL. ######


Prompt: My fiancé of a few years and I got into a heated conversation about having a phone tracker on each other.  She says it’s for safety and to calm her if I’m late at work or she can’t reach me, or if to the extreme of if she was kidnapped.  I can see the point of the extreme but I’m very against anyone having my on a gps at any beckon time. I tried to explain this and she feels I have no trust. I have never cheated neither has she to my knowledge, and honestly I don’t go doing sketchy shit Amita? ######

Response:
 NAH, but I wouldn't do it either. Some people don't have a problem with it, but I think it's weird and unnecessary.

Why don't you try telling her that a phone tracker doesn't tell her where you are, just where your phone is? And follow up with, which is the most likely scenario? That you lose your phone, or that you get kidnapped and somehow the kidnappers are stupid enough to let you keep your phone? ######


Prompt:
Context: I have a condition that people usually die pretty young; although there are a few new treatments that look promising and are letting people live a lot longer. Other people with my condition also make these types of jokes.

I was talking today with my (16f) sister (18f) about college and planning for the future. I want to move out of state for college and my sister said I won’t be able to because of my condition, she then went on to say “you have horrible future planning skills” and to which I responded “I didn’t really think I was going to need them for much longer haha”.

 I’ll make other offhand comments such as “I’m not going to go to college because I won’t need my education for that long anyway” or “Ill travel around the world and not get a job because I won’t have to worry about retirement or anything”.

None of these comments are serious at all but today my sister completely flipped her lid. She started yelling at me for making jokes about how I won’t live long and I’m an ass for saying that kind of stuff to family. She doesn’t usually react so I was very taken aback. I tried to explain it helps me deal with the fact that I probably won’t live that long and she told me to just not talk to her about to then.

AITA for saying these things to her? ######

Response:
 NAH, but I understand where your sister is coming from. Your sister probably doesn't want to think of you dying where as you're just doing what you have to to cope with the fact that your lifespan will likely be shorter than most.

I went to college with a guy who had cistic fibrosis. Guy spent his whole life just taking the piss out of life and himself cause what else was he supposed to do with the knowledge he likely wouldn't live past 30.

If you don't laugh you'll cry, right? ######


Prompt:
My (25F) fiancé (26M) and I have been together since our junior year of college. He was always such an insanely hard worker who was very goal oriented. Back then he’d spend pretty much all of his time chasing his career goals.

He was successful in landing his dream job which is a combination of high pay and very high hours (70-100hours per week). It was his dream for so long.

Now that we are going to get married, he wants to quit and do something more “mundane” that is just a standard 9-5 job. He says it’s because he wants to spend a lot more time with me, which obviously I understand, but he also used to tell me how his current job was his absolute dream job since middle school. I remember vividly how hard we worked to get where he is, and I don’t want him to have to give up his dreams for me.

Because of that, I’ve told him how I don’t want him to leave, and he is getting a little upset about it now. It’s really not at all about the money for me. It’s 100% because I don’t want him to leave his dream job he worked so hard for.

AITA for tell him him he should stay? ######

Response:
 NAH, but I think you need to step back at this point. You've shared your piece, and now it's on him what decision he makes. I would gently suggest that by trying to push him either way, you're implying that you know better than he does what's best for him.

The fairer side of things to bring up is the needs you *both* have in your relationship, and I do think big career moves should be a matter of conversation as opposed to unilateral decision-making, but if his happiness is what's important to you, then...let him decide what will make him happy, yeah? ######


Prompt:
I’m in the processing of writing a character letter, which has been infuriation and emotional for our family already. Minimal detail: wrongly arrested at protest while providing medical aid.

We’re less than a year into my sib requesting they/them pro-nouns and we’ve made great progress in re-learning. I don’t live close but I’m adamant about using them even with people who haven’t met them. I paid for their name change as a graduation gift as well. I’m very proud of their resilience, it hasn’t been an easy road.

While my speaking using they/them is almost second nature now, long text writing not so much. I went ahead and wrote the letter in she/her as it was emotional reflection and I just wanted to get it out quickly. Here’s where I’m not sure if it would be an AH move.

I’m editing through for they/them pronouns and clarity. In my reflection I started to worry how the judge would interpret and would they create some narrative off their own views/bias. This is in the US south and we are also Black. Any other circumstance I’m the sibling that will fight for the whole family no compromise, but this judge literally holds the fate of my sibling in their hands.

WIBTA if I send my sib both versions of the letter and let them decide which to use? Note: name change went through after the arrest, so given name is being used in case. Dear god please don’t light me up in these comments, I haven’t sent anything yet. ######

Response:
 NAH, but I think the best thing to do here might be a white lie. Text your sib and be like, “Hey, got your letter all written up, and I just thought about how much the legal system here sucks for anyone not straight, white, and cis. Want me to do you a version with she/her pronouns too, in case the lawyer thinks that’s a good idea?”

That way you give them the option while validating that you consider their correct pronouns the default and will only do she/her if they give the okay. ######


Prompt: My daughter is 18. She got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. She wants me to be in the room when she delivers her baby. I love her and want to support her but I really don't want to be in the delivery room because I don't want to see her naked. Is dads being in the delivery room for when their daughter's give birth even common/normal? My daughter is begging me to be in the room. She doesn't want her mom as they argue a lot. The father is a jerk so he won't be there. I might suck it up and go but I really don't want to. ######

Response: NAH, but consider: if it’s a standard delivery, and you sit by her head and hold her hand, you’re not really in much danger of seeing anything that will freak you out. And you’ll be honouring the trust your kid is placing in you in one of her most vulnerable moments. ######


Prompt:
A little background for you.  I am a 30 year old female and my fiance is a 35 year old male who has an 11 year old son.  My finace and I have been engaged for a little over a year and have been together a total of 2 years.

A few months ago at one of the custody visits my Fiances son asked if he could call me mom.  I kind of danced around the question because I knew my answer was no but did not want to hurt his feelings.

You see because of the custody arrangment(informal, not legalized)  we only see his son 8 to 12 weekends a year. So I've pretty much only been around him for 48 days MAX.  Not only do I feel its inappropriate because we really dont know each other well but he already has a mother, and a good one at that.

I grew up with a step father and I never called him dad. Always by his first name because I already had a dad. I also just really like being called by my name. I really dont even like nicknames or pet names.

My fiances opinion is that I should let him call me mom simply because he asked. And I just do not agree with that logic of he asked so let him do it.  He seems to think I am a b word for not letting him.

So, Reddit community, do you think I'm an asshole for not wanting my Fiances son to call me mom? ######

Response:
 NAH, although if you don’t want to be seen as a “mom” figure, you probably shouldn’t marry someone who already has a kid.

The kid wants to call you mom for the 24 days a year he sees you, there’s no harm in it. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend and I was playing a game and we were answers questions and that question came out and the game is about being 100% honest and we both had been up to that point and when that question came up and she went then it was my turn  I said “ how much you say Um mind sentence” mood shattered in seconds the laughs stop immediately .  I apologize and tried to say that won by default you’re not a annoying person and it was the only thing I could think of she tried to argue but kept saying um and getting embarrassed which made the whole thing worse and she went to bed.  AITA ? ######

Response:
 NAH, although I lean a bit to you being the AH - playing a game like that can be a great and fun way to get to know each others true unfiltered opinions. And it seems to have been going fine, so I guess she wasn't just oversensitive to everything you said.
But answering "what's most annoying about me" with something you cant change is a hard blow. It's very easily understood it should be something you can be more conscious about in the future, so it will make the relationship easier. Like "you leave your shoes in the middle of the room, it drives me mad".
If you can't change it, what's the point? Things like "your voice is annoying" "your laugh makes you sound obnoxious" and what you said will have no effect but to make the other person feel like shit about themselves.

So slight TA for bringing it up, but overall NAH, you guys were just playing and talking, nobody can think about what consequences their words will have all the time ######


Prompt:
I(M18) bought a new-ish computer by myself after working my butt off for it, but since I had no desk in my room, I put it downstairs. My family (mom, dad, and brother 15) uses it like a family computer. Now that I have a desk, I want to keep it in my room so I can keep in touch with friends and play games.

I understand that they may need a computer for things like paying the bills and school work, but my dad has a laptop that he has used to do that stuff before. In fact, he was looking to buy a new computer before I bought mine, and stopped after I had expressed that I was saving up for one. My brother has an opportunity to borrow a cromebook for schoolwork from the school district. He has not taken the opportunity and instead uses my computer for it.

I just want to play with my friends and work on my writing in peace without having my family looking over my shoulder, but is it wrong to take it?

Any help would be appreciated, thanks! ######

Response: NAH-just give them a warning that you are going to be moving it so they have time to get a new computer and/or your brother has time to get a chrome book from the district. ######


Prompt:
A year ago I gave birth to twin girls. I work 50+ hours a week and my husband is a stay at home dad. We have a 5 year old who didn’t sleep through the night til he was 2, so I was prepared for sleepless nights. I also breastfeed and so I assumed there wouldn’t be much my husband could do. Well to my surprise, one baby would only take bottles of pumped milk. I was thrilled my husband could help.   Him, not so much.

Both girls were in our room at first. I am a much lighter sleeper so I would wake whenever either woke and they weren’t on the same schedule. By the time I could get my husband up to give a bottle I would be wide awake and just did it myself. I was a zombie at home and work.

So I moved myself and the breastfeeding baby to the nursery (has a pullout sofa). It was great!  I get so much more sleep and I only deal with her wakeups. I sleep better too because it’s cooler and no one is snoring. My husband says it’s been a year and it’s time I come back but truthfully I like how things are and I sleep better. And yes, both girls still wake up in the night. I refuse to move back and he says I’m damaging our marriage by refusing to sleep in the same bed. So AITA? ######

Response: NAH- you guys have a lot to deal with and it sounds tough. However, if you're husband says something is ruining your marriage you should listen and you guys both need to come up with a solution to fix things. Maybe it's counseling or naps together in your bed during the day. But you owe it to him to try and find a solution. He owes it to you to try and make things easier with the kids. Good luck ######


Prompt:
AITA if I tell my fiancé I don’t want to get married the same year as his sister?

Basically his sisters wedding was supposed to be this year. She just decided to move it to one year from now.... three months before my wedding is supposed to happen.

Now, I love weddings but I just feel that having weddings so close to each other WILL take some of the fun out of it for me. All the family would have just gotten together, traveled, bought gifts for her, etc....

Obviously I feel bad she had to change her date to another year, but they actually already are married (legally) since they are military. Would I be an asshole if I change my date to another year, 2022 (ugh)? Everyone would know it’s because the dates are close together. Since I wanted a summer wedding too.... ######

Response:
 NAH- You arent TA for wanting to move it, and your SIL isn't TA for moving it. It's your party, you're paying for it, and ultimately the decision is entirely yours and your fiance's.  You want people to be excited to be there, you want it to feel like an event rather than "another family wedding". However, weddings happen ALL the time for your guest, especially during the wedding season. I had 7 weddings to go to last year. Every wedding felt special and important. Your guest are going to be excited to be there to celebrate this big milestone with you. You are going to be excited that you managed to pull the whole thing off.

That being said, just because your SIL is already legally married doesn't mean that they are any less deserving of a big wedding.

I dont thing your being TA. I think you're worried and freaking out. give it some time. See how you feel, and dont make a decision while youre panicking about it. ######


Prompt:
Pretty sure this is on me, but anyway

So I (32M) got given my birthday presents this morning by my wife (32F), straight after breakfast. We've been together for 5 years, and without fail, she always mentions that I'm really hard to buy for. So in the run up to this year, she's mentioned that she had to search around to get my present, as it was out of stock on Amazon

So I'm opening the present this morning, and she mentions that it's something she could share, which in hindsight makes this hilarious, just as I see a label saying "20 different speeds". At this point I figured it's some kind of massager, since we both tend to complain of sore backs. I cant tell you what my face was as I'm faced with the product name, Lovely Wand, and the realisation that my wife has bought me a vibrator. My poor, straight laced wife bought me a vibrator, and she wants to share with me.

My guess is, that at this stage my face has dropped significantly, since she kinda mentioned that I didn't really like it did I? So I went and explained what she bought, but tried to reassure her we could use it as a massager (it is in the instructions as primarily a massager. just a waterproof, posable, rechargeable massager). She seemed a bit down, and now she's gone to take the kids for a nap, so I'm sitting here feeling bad about how I reacted AITA? ######

Response: NAH- She’s probably just feeling a bit embarrassed. It sounds like you were kind and gentle in how you responded to her. Hopefully she’ll be able to laugh about it once the initial embarrassment subsides- this is actually pretty funny and sweet. ######


Prompt:
I am 27F and the only child of my mother. My parents split when I was 16y. Up until this point, I assumed that I had truthful parents.

When I was 15y, I received a message on a social media platform from someone who claimed to be my half-sister (Anna). I confronted my mother who had no idea who she was. We confronted my father and then shit properly hit the fan.

I then discovered that my father has two children 7-10 years older than me (Bob and Carol) from his first marriage who my mother knew all about. Anna’s existence was a shock to my mother as she was the result of a secret affair (she was born about 5 years before me). This prompted my parents splitting up.

So all my life, my father had been splitting his life between three homes and lying to my mother and I about his whereabouts.

When I was 15 and Anna contacted me for the first time, she was telling me that she wants to get to know me, that she has children and I’m her sister etc. It was all a big shock to me. Since then, Anna has contacted me a few more times. I would get a call from my dad and it would actually be Anna on the phone. Bob and Carol haven’t contacted me directly but have requested to through my father. My father regularly blackmails me into meeting them all as he’s going to die “one day soon” and I should know them. He has given Anna my number against my consent. He has attempted to set up meetings without my knowledge, lying and saying that I’m only meeting an aunt yet somehow I come to find out I’m meeting Anna.

I do feel bad but I honestly just feel like I have zero connection to or desire to get to know these people. We have the same father but I just don’t see them as my siblings. I don’t need any brothers or sisters and it’s not my fault if I don’t want to play happy families. I am the youngest of them all, so I hope I’m not being immature but AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH- other than your Dad.

You don't have to have a relationship with them if you don't want. But they don't suck for wanting to get to know you. ######


Prompt:
So my wife always says that she hates dark chocolate because according to her it tastes bitter and weird. In the three years that we’ve been together, she never bought dark chocolate for herself or tried it when offered, and she always teases me when I eat it by saying “You’re eating awful chocolate again”. Our families and close friends all know she dislikes it and always get her milk or white chocolate. If we’re together at an event and she somehow got dark chocolate while I got milk or white, she would swap our chocolates.

Last week one of her clients gifted her with a box of expensive Belgian dark chocolates. She took them home and told me “A, there’s chocolates in the fridge”. (Yep she always puts chocolate in the fridge.) The label clearly said that they’re dark chocolates so I assumed that she meant for me to eat them because she doesn’t eat dark chocolate.

The box stayed in our fridge over the course of the week and I ate two or three every day when I felt like it. Yesterday I finished the last piece so I threw the box in the trash. My wife saw it and asked why I was throwing it so I told her that I already ate all the chocolates. She got upset and told me that I should have told her before I ate the last pieces so she could try one if she felt like it because it was her gift after all. I said that she had a week to ‘try one if she felt like it’ and she didn’t. How was I supposed to know that she would suddenly want to try dark chocolate after a life time of telling me that it tastes awful to her?

Am I really the asshole here? ######

Response: NAH- Normally I would say you should have asked, but she specifically told you they were there, and the dark chocolate dislike is well known and vocalized by her. She should have mentioned she wanted to try one at some point, they sat there more than long enough. Yes maybe could have mentioned you were going to finish them off. This is just a slight misunderstanding/communication, really nothing that would make either party an asshole. ######


Prompt:
I know the title makes me sound entitled, but hear me out first before making a judgement, please.
When I was born, my mom put my first name, 2 middle, and 2 last names on my birth certificate. Back then, you had to register separately for a social security number.
In between the time I was born and her registering for my social security number, she decided to break up with her husband (who is not my biological father. She was 18 and heavily pregnant and scared. Not a good combination).
HIS last name was one of the 2 listed on my birth certificate.
When it came time to register for my social security card, she put in my first name, 1 middle name, and 1 last name.
This has already made a few things complicated in my life.
Examples would be getting registered for school, getting my state ID, driver's license, etc.
I really want to get it changed so it isn't such a challenge to prove my identity.
So, that being said, would I be the asshole? ######

Response: NAH- Although, changing your name might be a even bigger hassle. How much does it cost to get your name changed? Have you looked into fees already? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend is black (I am white). We bumped into my teacher (black), recently.

It was very nice and pleasant but my teacher left me a comment the other day. I am fully on top of my workload, so I was curious as to what it could be.

It was a note saying how my relationship fills her with a lot of happiness at a time of a lot of sorrow.

I have Asperger’s syndrome so I might be misinterpreting this but I am pretty old school when it comes to teacher and student interactions (I think that they should be limited to school).

I think that as long as a student is doing all his work and following the school rules, it is none of the teacher’s business what they do.

My girlfriend isn’t a student at the school, so why is my teacher trying to get involved in our relationship? ######

Response: NAH Your teacher is trying to support you, not get involved in your relationship. ######


Prompt:
I'm moving in with my husband, long story but I have to move countries.

His son is living there. I have questions and I feel like I'm not being told the whole story so here it goes:

\- He moved a few years ago after saying he need a few months to sort himself out. I didn't agree to looking after a man-child when I married my husband and step-son wasn't in the plan for us.

\- He had a job in a shop as a manager in 2017 and quit after a few weeks as he was too "stressed".

\- Since then, he's sat at home doing nothing and my husband is funding this.

Now, he's turned 25 and will no longer be able to be on our health insurance in a year (when he turns 26). I do not like seeing my husband being taken advantage of and I have a suspicion his son has access to our joint account. Soon my salary will be in there, AITA for not wanting to bank roll the adult step-son and expect him to be working? AITA for suggesting my husband put pressure on his son and stop enabling him to be a lazy c\*\*t? I feel like I'm having the pee taken out of me.

If he's depressed, then we can take him to see a therapist and get it sorted but this has gone on too long now. I don't feel I'm the a\*\*hole but feel my husband needs to man up and my step-son needs to get a life as it' really sad that he has no friends his own age or career prospects. ######

Response: NAH You’re not an AH but so far you’re husband isn’t either. Your stepson could well be, but that’s not clear. Regardless, you need to sort out your accounts. If there’s an opportunity for an no owner of that account to draw on it you obviously need to shot that down. ######


Prompt:
In my grad program, a fellow student announced they were having a baby. I am an avid crocheter and decided I would make a unisex baby Afghan and stuffed toy since they didn’t learn the sex until after the birth.

I participated in buying a mommy wellness gift as well. I also reached out to the dad twice asking for their baby registry to get them cheaper baby things that no one else bought.

I was very excited as this was the first friends of mine having a baby (I’m in my early 20s). I’m not exactly close w the parents but there is only 10 of us, so we’ve naturally gotten close.

I am moving as a result of the current state of the world and have withdrawn from my grad program for personal mental health reasons. I provided no real explanation to the class only a few individuals.

I just reached out to the new father asking for his address so I can mail the gift and he hasn’t responded but it notified me he read it. They are in a different state right now so I can’t exactly leave it outside their house.

I have reached out several times to no avail as he never follows up with me either before or after the birth. I understand they are busy and new parents but they have talked non stop about how easy the pregnancy, birth, and raising the baby has been - “a complete breeze”

So the entire thing is irritating when they aren’t being very nice or appreciative of them wanting a classmate/friend(?) to help where they can for this baby.

WIBTA if I stop trying to reach out and save it for another couple to get pregnant that I’m closer with and could appreciate it more? ######

Response: NAH You reached out a bunch and so you've done your part to try and get this to them, I think it's fine to give it to someone else if they don't respond before another friend of yours has a child. However, they are new parents. Even if they've read your message, and even if on social media it seems like a "complete breeze", they are probably swamped and have lots of other things on their mind that take precedence over responding to you. Also, they may not want you to mail them a blanket right now that potentially could increase their exposure to corona virus. I certainly would not be accepting homemade fabric gifts right now if I had a new baby... ######


Prompt:
This one really hurt me.

It’s my birthday today and my Dad came home and handed me a gift, I hugged all my family. I opened the gift and it was an Xbox One S. I was shocked, I didn’t want my Dad to spend such money on something my Older Brother had already bought around two years ago which I hardly use anyway. He then explained that he got it around 2 months ago, and my heart sank. Considering the price he would of had to pay and the fact next gen consoles are coming out in October this year I felt terrible, but I know I didn’t want it, so I said what I was thinking and said sorry.

My Mum got slightly peeved and that made me even more sad.

Later my Dad explained that when they got a new phone for my Mum the bundle came with an Xbox for a tiny bit more. I still feel guilty and spoilt that I said to him I didn’t need or want it, obviously politely.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: Nah you had good intentions. You felt like you didn't need the Xbox. You were worried about money I get that. I think you should just take the Xbox or sell it and buy something you really want. ######


Prompt:
So.. Let me set the scene: we have been planning our wedding from the beginning of 2019.
We set a date for next June, and sent out invites just a couple of weeks ago.
We descided for multiple reasons to make it a kids free wedding.

Well, just after we sent out our rsvp's, I got a message from my sister, asking what to do with her kids.
So I answered honestly; please get a sitter.
She got all riled up, saying how I could come to her wedding at her son's age (he's my nephew, I'm her sister) and how her sons must be able to be tought some valuable life lessons by attending weddings, funerals, etc.
Thankfully I was able to stand my ground, things simmered down, and she rsvp'd yes.

She announced last Christmas she is pregnant again. I am so happy for her, don't get me wrong, but it had some nasty consequences.

You might understand that because of this virus, my wedding has to be postponed. So we decided to move it to next September.

She is due next June, and her baby will be around 8 weeks old.
We sent out some cards this week to announce our decision to move the wedding to September.

And off course: I got a message from her. She just assumed that because we rescheduled our wedding, her baby would be allowed to come.
I told her no, and explained there were other acquaintances with young babies who were supposed to arrange a sitter too.
She proclaimed to me she thought it was irresponsible to drop an 8 week old at a sitter/family member, and therefore, will not be attending my wedding.

AITA? ######

Response: NAH you can decide to have a child free wedding, lots of people do, but she's not an AH for not wanting to leave her child with a sitter at that *very* young age. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, because said person browses reddit.

So recently my sister released her first album, and it is AMAZING. Like, I think there is a very high chance that she will make it in her genre of music. She wanted to see my reaction before she released it, and awkwardly watched me as I heard it for the first time. However, when one song in particular came on, I immediately felt a bit self conscious. The lyrics (at least to my ear) seemed to be about me. More specifically, it seemed to be a song about my depression, and how she wanted to help me, but couldn't unless I wanted to help myself.

Now, my sister is a very private person, and does not like to talk about her feelings. Never has. But art has always been a great outlet for her to express herself. I haven't asked her what any of her songs are about, because I'm afraid to put her on the spot. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable about expressing herself, and give her the impression that her songs are going to be put under a microscope by people in her life.

But I would like to know whether that song is about me. She expressed in it a desire to help someone and that person being closed off to her. If it is about me, I would like to address those feelings of me being closed off, because one of my biggest fears is that my loved ones will perceive my lack of passion or interest as a rejection of them.

That being said, the lyrics were vague enough that I could be wrong about my gut feeling. It could be that her lyrics simply resonated with me, and it could be about someone else, or no one in particular. Maybe it's none of my business what the song is about either way. If I was wrong about the song being about me, then I think I would definitely come across as a conceited, well, asshole.

WIBTA for asking whether her song is about my depression? ######

Response: NAH why don't you just asked what her inspiration for the song was (without mentioning yourself), or that you really identified with that song and wondered if she wanted to talk about it. If she doesn't want to share, let it be and don't bring it up again ######


Prompt:
For starters it's nothing against her ring at all. It's beautiful and has sentimental value.
It's just my parents are divorced and my siblings and I had a very crappy childhood due to abuse and neglect.
I have a semi steady relationship with both my parents but every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same.
I'm currently wearing a temporary ring due to my mother's not fitting me and with everything closed I can't get it fixed until this pandemic is over but I'm starting to get attached to it even if it's a cheap Amazon ring.
I've talked to my fiance about it and he wants me to be happy so he is fine either way but I know it hurts my mom with me not wearing it when she was the one who gave it to my fiance to give to me.
I guess I want to know if I WBTA if I just give the ring back to my mother.
I'm not the first to get married out of her kids either. ######

Response: NAH wear whatever you like. Its your wedding, your finger, your life ######


Prompt:
Currently I'm enrolled in 2 dance classes on Mon and Tues.  Due to everything being shut down, the studio has closed.  The teachers figured out a way to teach classes online via Zoom for the little kids, but the adult classes are all pre-recorded.

Before this was given the green light they asked what we thought of it.  I said it was cool but I don't have room to follow along to a prerecorded dance lesson.  Not only that I've never really danced before so I don't have much clue what I'm doing.  If I wanted to "just follow a video" I could look up one on YouTube (for FREE, I might add!)

They replied and said I only needed a 5x5 square & encouraged me to try fine, however I have 0 interest in just following along to a video in my house.  I pay for someone to show me what to do, to get out of my house, and interact with face to face.  They hadn't said anything about billing until 2 nights ago.

Apparently they still want to charge half price for last month and this month, then going forward full price.  Now, I haven't looked at any of the pre-recorded classes and I don't intent to do so.  I already said I didn't want to do it (I phrased it nicer I was not rude.)

I do not feel that I should pay for the class as I didn't view them and I don't plan to.  If I didn't go to a class physically, I would not have to pay for them.  I would not mind paying once again when we are able to return to the studio.

AITA for not wanting to pay for those classes since I'm not using them? ######

Response:
 NAH we're hashing out the details for this right now with my job (also in the fitness industry). Everyone is trying different things and trying to stay afloat. It's difficult and not everyone's gonna get it right.

They'll probably understand if you just cancel your membership, and you \*might\* be able to get credit for any lost time for sessions, but they're probably scrambling to keep income b/c this thing has hit gyms & trainers especially hard. If you can afford it, it might be nice to keep using their services and just suck it up, but you're not obligated to do so. ######


Prompt:
So this is a weird situation. I'm really bad at saying no to people, its for sure a fault of mine and something im working on. When guys ask me for my number I typically just give them it awat to not deal with the awkwardness of rejecting them. My boyfriend obviously has a problem with this, so I've been working on saying no.

Fast forward to this morning. I was driving to work when I looked over and the driver next to me looked like he wanted to talk. We were at a red light, so I cracked my window because maybe something was wrong with my truck. He was just like "hey" all smiley and I give a polite smile. I turn away but he's trying to get my attention again and he is like "hey I want to get to know you, I'm gonna follow you so we can talk" something around those lines.

I'm freaked out because not am I already late for work, but you know THIS GUY FOLLOWS ME. I get a few miles in and he's still there.  I'm at a part im waiting to turn and he pulls up next to me blocking an entire lane of traffic. I'm super uncomfortable because I'm aware of this, and just being put in the situation. He asks for my number and im panicking but give it to him because I figure thats the only way he will leave.

My boyfriend is upset, and thinks this is a major FU to our relationship when I give away my number. AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH to NTA, depending. Giving a fake number rarely works because they usually call you right away to make sure you didn’t give a fake number. I’ve had plenty of negative experiences and I understand where you’re coming from. It’s so easy for people to say “you should just say no,” when they haven’t experienced street harassment. It’s not easy and bystanders rarely intervene, even when things are escalating and it’s clearly inappropriate. Sometimes giving your number is the safest way to handle a situation.

Additionally, I think it all depends on how your BF handles that information. For example, if after explaining how you were literally followed by a fucking weirdo on your way to work the only takeaway is “so you gave your number,” I would be really put off. If he has zero empathy, girl - leave. Don’t do that to yourself. If, on the other hand, he’s understanding, but also confused - this is a good opportunity to educate your boyfriend about street harassment. He should understand you’re not doing this to actually get with these weirdos or something.

The best advice I have is to try to avoid these encounters from the jump. As a general rule, I no longer “give directions,” or tell men “what time it is.” I often pretend I don’t hear or see them when they’re approaching or talking to me and just keep walking or driving. Unless they’re bleeding out on the street and need someone to call an ambulance, there’s no reason for us to interact. If you’re forced to interact with one of these horndogs, lie, lie, lie - “so sorry random man, I’m actually from out of town and what a coincidence, I’m leaving town right now and oops look at the time, I’m late for my flight and need to call a cab, bye now!” ######


Prompt:
I'm a 42 year old gay man, married to my wonderful partner of 11  years.

When I was in college, I was a sperm donor. I didn't really think of it much - I was young, healthy, they paid me.

Recently I got a message request from this girl on Facebook. (I guess you can see where this is going). She claims to be one of the children fathered by my sperm, and apparently she's also in contact with another boy (raised by another family) who has my DNA.

I honestly don't even how they would have traced me,  but I looked through some of her FB post - this seems to be a real person, not a spam account.

So it seems they want to meet. I told her that I find all of this weird and I need to think aboout it.

I'm really...creeped out by this. starting by them looking for me. She seems like a nice enough kid,  but to be honest I just nutted in a container and got cash. I knew on a rational level that kids would be created by it, but in no way did (or do) I actually consider myself a dad. Or anything remotely in that area.

I feel like meeting them would be very awkward (and God, what if there's more?) and I don't really feel the desire to.

I always presumed that this would be for people with fertility issues and that those are the "real" parents. I never thought there would be people tracking me down 20+ years later.

WIBTA if I just message that I don't really want to meet? ######

Response:
 NAH they are curious about you which is understandable and you always intended for your donation to be anonymous so it's clearly come as a shock.

It may be worth taking a bit of time to think things over before outright dismissing them, you have a lot to take in and process. There's no script for how something like this should go and while you are sure right now that you don't want to know them you don't know how you will feel in a few months time and if you are too harsh you could lose your chance to get to know them if that what you end up wanting.

Maybe tell them for now that it's been such a big shock and you need time, be honest and tell them that you don't know how to feel about it, let them know that right now you are not sure you'd want to pursue any further contact but need time to process it all before making any decision.

You don't owe them anything at all and there is nothing wrong with you deciding to not meet them or continue contact but at the same time they are innocent in this and it would be nice to at least let them down gently out of human decency more than anything else. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend is a vegetarian and wants to raise our future kids to be vegetarian. I don’t want to raise them vegetarian because I eat meat and I think it would be better to raise them in a way that they can make that decision for themselves when they are old enough. I just feel like forcing a lifestyle like vegetarianism on a child would be wrong because they can’t make that decision for themself. ######

Response:
 NAH there's no right answer here, but y'all need to agree.

BUT raising kids to eat meat is as much "forcing a lifestyle" on them as is raising them to be vegetarian. The fact that eating meat is more common and you see it as the default doesn't change the fact that it is also a lifestyle choice that kids can exercise later in life.

I would personally aim to raise kids low-meat as a compromise. Since it seems your partner is an ethical vegetarian, y'all could also feed the kids ethically-raised meat (pasture-raised, etc) or animals that don't suffer as much when being raised for meat (wild-caught fish, etc). ######


Prompt:
So my sister recently gave birth, and her husband died ~2 months before that. She called me today asking if I could stay with her because she’s having trouble with the kid. I told her I would have to ask my wife.

I asked, and she said it would be fine. I asked if she would come with me, and she said she would. We think it would be a good “trial run” if you can call it that because we’ve been waffling on kids.

I then called my sister back and asked if my wife could come. She said no. I asked her how long she expected me to stay and she said she didn’t know. I don’t like the idea of being away from my wife for an unknown amount of time, taking care of a kid during a pandemic. I told my sister I couldn’t go if my wife couldn’t come, and she yelled at me and hung up. Wife thinks I should go anyway.

AITA? ######

Response: NAH the reason she may not want your wife there is because she cannot bear to see a relationship right now though. ######


Prompt:
Quick question. My GF was sending me some nude pictures. I was complimenting her body in reponse, kind of a sexting was happening. Then I noticed the background, the room was from her previous house. So I connected the dots and thought they must've been made way before, for her previous partner. I asked about that, she said I'm right. I wrote her that it's kinda a buzzkill. The sexting and the mood died.

AITA? ######

Response: NAH she probably was like "a nude is a nude" but I get if you think it's a bit weird. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I, both 21, have been together for about a year now. I love the girl to bits, she’s my best friend and I absolutely love being with her. We had very different childhoods, I was brought up with both my parents in a stable environment. My girlfriend experienced the death of her father suddenly when she was 7 years old and has been suffering ever since.

Like I said, I love my girlfriend, but she has the most irrational fear of me being dead. If I don’t answer the phone or text her back immediately, she will literally look up car crashes in my town to check I’m not dead. If I wake up slightly later than usual, I wake up to my phone spammed to the max with messages asking whether I’m okay. At first I dealt with it and it was somewhat endearing, but now it gets on my nerves more than anything.

I know it’s draining for my girlfriend and almost every time she realises I’m okay she breaks down crying saying how crazy she feels. Most of the time I comfort her and tell her she’s not crazy. Yesterday morning I decided to have a lie in. I had been drinking with my friends the night before and wanted to sleep. I wake up to 60 messages and about 25 missed phone calls. I rang her and she was crying her eyes out and like always said she felt crazy. This time I said “yeah you fucking are” and although I meant it as a joke, she didn’t take it like one.

We ended up in a heated discussion about it and she said I didn’t understand her trauma and why she does it. I said she should get help for it instead of waiting for me to die and pissing me off constantly. She went silent and hung up the phone. It’s been 24 hours and she’s hardly spoken to me. My parents have both said I’m a massive asshole. AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH my friend it sounds like your girlfriend really needs counselling, her fears are definitely irrational but outside of her control.

You care about each other which is great, because you’ll need to support her in getting some help to put her fears to rest. ######


Prompt:
Last week my (23M) coworker (25\~M) sent me a message on Facebook and deleted it shortly after but not before I saw it that said "Honey, can you grab me some ice cream?". We normally only use Facebook to organise roster swaps and shortly after he asked me if we could swap shifts yesterday. I said not a problem, and the two shifts overlapped by half an hour so I was starting as he was finishing.

I brought in a litre of caramel ice cream and gave it to him and said "Here you go, honey." He looked pretty embarrassed and another coworker asked what the ice cream was for, and I explained the wrong text to the team. I thought it was a pretty harmless joke and my coworker got a litre of really nice ice cream out of it.

He's relatively new to the team (four-ish months) but seemed to enjoy the gentle ribbing that often occurred between others on the team (and has joined in making fun of other team members) so figured he'd be fine with a harmless joke. The team had a good laugh about it but he was obviously pretty upset with it and we dropped it until he left.

Once he'd left I asked the other two co-workers if I was too hard on him and they agreed it was just a joke, and thought he took it way too hard. AITA? ######

Response: NAH maybe was was more upset the usual because it involved his wife and their privacy ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my partner for 8 years, I’m 32M and he’s 29M.

We’re using a surrogate, it’s his genetic material, she’s due in less than two months.

Now my husbands father raised him by himself, my husbands mother wasn’t around.

My husbands father is German, my husband is Germany too although his mother was from Cuba , my husband moved here when he was 20.

My husbands father has an unusual name, picture something like Henrik, I hate the name with a passion I don’t know why, my husbands father passed away 6months  ago and since then my husband has been adamant on passing his name on.

I don’t like the name, I want my son to have a classic English name.

I don’t want it as a middle name since we settled on “Michael” .

My husband is upset but I think he’s just doing this out of emotions and he’ll regret it when our son is older and getting teased.

He claims it’s our sons link to Germany, my husband misses Germany so we’ve considered moving but ultimately decided to wait.

I think since he donated genetics I could at least pick my sons name? It’s hard  enough knowing my son isn’t going to look the slightest bit like me.

But he apparently disagrees and has accused me of being ignorant and racist

AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH maybe leaning Y T A

I think making the name a middle name is a good compromise. People don't tend to use their middle names for anything, so your kid won't get teased about it. Your partner wants to honor his late father, which is reasonable. You could further compromise by giving the child two middle names, which is uncommon but not unheard of, so the full name would be

Firstname Micheal Heinrik Lastname

And people would call him

Firstname Lastname

Edit: my middle name is Abbey, after my late grandfather's  mistress, and I never got teased about it, even despite where it came from! Nobody teases about middle names.

Second edit: also, when kids tease about names, they're not *actually* making fun of the name. A kid with the most normal name in the world will still get picked on for it if they're getting picked on for other stuff. ######


Prompt:
Context: I have a condition that people usually die pretty young; although there are a few new treatments that look promising and are letting people live a lot longer. Other people with my condition also make these types of jokes.

I was talking today with my (16f) sister (18f) about college and planning for the future. I want to move out of state for college and my sister said I won’t be able to because of my condition, she then went on to say “you have horrible future planning skills” and to which I responded “I didn’t really think I was going to need them for much longer haha”.

 I’ll make other offhand comments such as “I’m not going to go to college because I won’t need my education for that long anyway” or “Ill travel around the world and not get a job because I won’t have to worry about retirement or anything”.

None of these comments are serious at all but today my sister completely flipped her lid. She started yelling at me for making jokes about how I won’t live long and I’m an ass for saying that kind of stuff to family. She doesn’t usually react so I was very taken aback. I tried to explain it helps me deal with the fact that I probably won’t live that long and she told me to just not talk to her about to then.

AITA for saying these things to her? ######

Response: NAH making jokes about things like these is a common coping method and you are not an asshole for making these jokes. I wouldn't call your sister an asshole though since she is probably quite emotional about this. She is upset that she might lose her sister. I would reccomend that you dont make these jokes around her to prevent conflict ######


Prompt:
Obligatory throwaway and such.

I have severe phobias and delusions related to things like hacking, surveillance, government monitoring, along with things like cameras and microphones. It's a legitimate phobia, I'm in therapy and am on medications.

My family has been trying to arrange many group Zoom meetings lately and they keep contacting me about joining in.

Given my issues I think that using Zoom and webcams would cause me delusions that would set my progress back. My family are old and think 'positive thinking' is enough to cure mental health, so I'm afraid to confide in them about my paranoia since I know a lot of it is truly irrational.

AITA for lying and telling them I can't join in due to computer problems instead? ######

Response: Nah its a family meeting not anything super important like University class or something. Plus Zoom has had security problems, you would be better off using skype. Or video chat on whatsapp. ######


Prompt:
When my boyfriend (now fiance, I'll call him John) proposed to me, he proposed with his mum(Susan)'s old engagement ring. His dad (Warren) had passed away when John was a kid, and when John was discussing with Susan that he wanted to propose to me Susan gave him the engagement ring, so it could be passed down the family.

I cherished the ring and what it represented, but last week John and I found out the truth about Susan's relationship with Warren. Basically Warren was engaged to another woman before he met Susan, and he ended up cheating on the woman with Susan. He ended it with the woman to be with Susan and took back the engagement ring from the woman, and less than a week later had used the same engagement ring to propose to Susan.

I don't want the ring knowing it was basically tainted in lies and adultery, that it's got such a negative past to it. I want a ring that when I see it I just see love and foreverness, not cheating and heartbreak. I told John this but he got angry and said he thinks it's rude for me to even think about not keeping the ring, that despite its past it's still a symbol of our relationship and eventual marriage. I told him I would prefer no ring at all rather than that ring, and it should be given back to Susan, who would treasure it more.

I didn't think he was going to do anything about the situation, but yesterday while I was preparing dinner he handed me a new ring, just saying "here, don't show it to my mum" and walked off. I tried to talk to him about it but he just told me to shut up about the whole thing and be grateful.

I think it's obvious he thinks I'm the AH, but I'm not sure. AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH it’s nice that he wanted to pass down a family heirloom but the one in this situation represents the opposite of the purpose. it’s good that susan and warren has a good relationship but when you found out the truth it tainted the object for you. i’m glad you got a new ring but it will probably take some time for your fiancé to get used to it. but he still wants to marry you so it’s not a relationship killer that you rejected his mother ring.

also 1 generation is not an heirloom or tradition. so they wanted to start a new one and you have every right to refuse. ######


Prompt:
Some backstory: My ex had a child with a woman I'll call Karen. They split up when their child was a baby. We got together and had a child. We broke up, he got back with Karen, and they had another child. So my child was the middle child in that house and they were very close in age, but there was no infidelity.

One day on his time, they got into a serious car accident due to a drunk driver. Karen wasn't in the car, but all 3 kids were. Karen's children both passed away, my child had only minor scrapes. My ex is now disabled for life, and would not be able to care for himself alone.

I now have sole custody. My ex doesn't have visitation time as such as he is incapable of any childcare, but I bring my child to see him regularly as the agreement states. These visits are in a public park or his mother's house with me, Karen, his mother, and our child present.

Every time I go over there, she's giving me an angry look. It's been a year of these visits, so I finally asked her what her problem with me was. She decided to let it ALL out. She is furious with me because I'm always "gloating" that my child lived and hers didn't, starting with the hospital, where I was "overjoyed" (duh) and running up to collect my child without thinking about anyone else. I'm apparently the worst because I'm always so happy when she sees me, and I "don't ever acknowledge" that my child isn't my ex's only child. AITA here? ######

Response: NAH it's not your fault, but seeing you probably reminds her that both of her child's are dead and she feels envy (?) as well. How is your kid coping with the loss of his siblings? Hope he's fine. ######


Prompt: Recently i (16F) lost a very close friend of mine. she had an eating disorder (anorexia) and passed due to it. Now, due to everything that is happening im not sure of details about her funeral, but i was discussing this with another friend of mine, A (17M.) we were talking about the funeral and whether there would be one, things like that. we got onto the topic of my friend as a person (her music taste, favorite things, her relationships, ect.) i brought up her music taste and mentioned she had been a pretty big fan of nicole dollanganger. he said “you know, maybe we should play ‘please eat,’ it would fit the situation pretty well” and started laughing. maybe im just dramatic but i told him that her (very recent) death wasn’t something to joke about, and that it would be incredibly disrespectful to play a song like that at her funeral. he told me i was being sensitive and that i was making a big deal out of something that wasnt. so, maybe hes right, but i just want to know, AITA for saying it was disrespectful to play a song about eating disorders at a funeral for someone who died due to an eating disorder? ######

Response: NAH It's fine for him to find comfort in humor, but not okay for him to impose his method of coping on other mourners. Now that he knows that you aren't the person to share those particular thoughts with, no assholes as long as neither of you throws fuel on the fire. ######


Prompt:
My fiance and I were planning to get married this year anyway. We obviously can't do a "full" wedding, but we need to legally marry now for legal reasons and health insurance. In my area, weddings can only have a maximum of 15 people, and that includes the officiant, the bride and groom, and any vendors they have.

So with just the bare minimum (us, officiant, and a photographer), we can only have 11 guests. My fiance has his parents, and 5 siblings, all of whom live in the state and are close. I have my parents, who are divorced and remarried, and two siblings.

Including the stepparents, we have 17 people total, which is 2 over the limit. We have to clip by two people. Bio parents can't be cut. Siblings are all close and we can't just cut siblings out without an even worse fallout. So that leaves the new(er) spouses. I like them both and the relationship is good, but they're the closest to "extra" people that we can cut from this wedding (I know this sounds horrible).

My stepmother is furious, says I don't respect her or any marriage, and that it's horribly wrong to split up a married couple no matter what the circumstance. My stepfather is sad but understands that I can't really control the situation.

Not marrying now isn't practical advice. We can't just "bend the rules" and have them, because the police will give us a heavy fine, and we will be forced to completely disperse. I'm willing to come take pictures with them later, they just can't come to the actual wedding. AITA? ######

Response: NAH Is anyone in your family a decent photographer? Because there's a solution. Who isn't in the family, but is invited? The officiant and the photographer. Get the best picture taker in the family to do that, and pick another to officiate (you can usually get an online license to do that). Bam, a whole family wedding. ######


Prompt:
So my younger bro (19) was really scrawny. He's as tall as me (24M) at 6"1, but his build was really small. I think he weighed about 140lbs with 0 muscle. He didn't have any health issues or anything, was just scrawny.

It was no surprise to me when he confided in me that he couldn't attract many girls. He wanted a girlfriend but had no luck. He attracted some girls, but they were few and he was not in any way attracted to them.

So I just told him straight, "you need to bulk up. A lot of girls want their guy to be bigger than them, and won't be attracted to your build".

I gave him a workout plan and he ran with it. He added around 25lbs in the span of 6 months. Some muscle, and some obviously fat. Honestly he looks a lot better than he did before, and no surprise he began dating a girl he really likes and finds hot.

Well my sister (29F) and parents both came at me saying I've given him shit advice and that he was fine the way he was, they called me AH. But I said to them that they never really cared to listen to his issues. AITA? ######

Response: NAH in this instance but only because it seems to have worked out for your brother. In the same way women shouldn't be told they need to lose/gain weight in order to attract a partner, men shouldn't be told to gain/lose weight to attract a partner. I think your brother's issues were likely more about the confidence surrounding his body image. If he'd been thin and comfortable in his skin he probably would have had much better luck in dating overall. Instead of focusing on the fact that it's not a great idea to rely on purely physical traits when it comes to dating, you just said "bulk up". That being said, there's nothing wrong with being active and healthy, so I'm glad he's happened to reach a spot that's comfortable for him. I just hope he's not seeing this relationship as something that sprang purely from his muscles and nothing else; doesn't say much for the girl if it did. ######


Prompt:
AITA for telling my dad he’s being creepy?
So this happened before the world became weird but I just want to have some perspective on what’s going on here. It’s been bothering me a little bit.

I’m 20. My dad came to visit me in the city where I live. He spent a lot of time talking about his break-up which had happened a few months before. We also discussed my sister, who is 31 and dating a man who is 23 years her senior. We agreed to go to a nice restaurant one night and we were both looking forward to it. I got dressed nicely for the restaurant while my dad wore shorts and sandals with a Hawaiian shirt. This wasn’t the restaurant’s normal look for clientele, but I didn’t say anything because who cared.

We had our meal and it was nice. I didn’t think anything was wrong and it had been a pretty normal dinner. Then he said, “I think everyone was glaring at me because they thought we were on a date.”

I thought this was a kind of creepy thing to say and gently told him so, that they were probably just judging him for dressing so casually. I was really creeped out that the thought would even cross his mind. I’m 21 and I look younger than I am, like 13-16 according to most estimates.

My dad and I got into a big fight the next day when he kept talking to me about his relationship and his tinder activity. I told him I felt like he wasn’t respecting appropriate boundaries between a parent and child. When I try to have conversations with him about things like this, he interrupts me and says, “fine, then I won’t talk to you about anything” and sulks until I apologize.

AITA for telling my dad that it was a creepy thought to have? It felt like a gross, creepy thought to cross his mind and it made me really uncomfortable. On the other hand, I recognize that it might just have been on his mind after hearing the news about my sister. ######

Response:
 NAH in relation to the comment about people thinking you were on a date - to me that's just an observation. Once when I was 14/15 I was in town with my dad and a salesman approached us and thought we were a couple. I was mortified. My dad thought it was hilarious and was flattered that the man thought he looked young; he completely ignored the relationship bit. What I'm saying is, you both probably focused on different things. If you dressed up nicely at a restaurant and he's dressed v casually maybe he just felt out of place or a little awkward and just tried to make a little joke?

I will agree that the tinder thing is weird though. ######


Prompt:
Ever since COVID, jobs have been hard to come by, especially in my [M21] and my girlfriend's  [F20] fields.

The other day, she got a request for an interview at this decently sized company in the city we live in. She did really well on the first interview, got a second, and did fairly well on that interview as well. I have no doubts they will be contacting her with an offer or a third interview, and she is super excited.

The only problem is that with a little bit of research you find out that the company is basically a giant pyramid scheme, and that you will be a door to door or in store salesperson. From there you only make commission. This may be what some people want, but I know for a fact this is nowhere near what my girlfriend is expecting from the job. Plus, reviews online of working for the company are either horrible or obviously fake.

I know it is her life and I shouldn't interfere, but she is so excited to get another summer job that I'm worried she might throw herself into this without actually knowing what it is. I asked her what the company does the other day and she explained the same BS that the fake reviews online had. I don't want her to waste her time when I know she would have a good chance at a job elsewhere. ######

Response: NAH If you provide her the information that you’ve seen online and suggest she do some more research before accepting the job. You would definitely venture into asshole territory, however, if you turn this into an opportunity to steamroll her with your own opinion or berate her for wanting to try something out before making a decision one way or the other. ######


Prompt:
My son(19) has been in a relationship for a few months now. He recently introduced her(19) to us and it turns he has been fucking his second cousin.

He had never met her before and they both had no idea they were second cousins. Now, obviously they should break up because this is just i*cest-lite but they want to continue their relationship.

My husband and I disagree and so does her parents but they want to continue their relationship because they think they are "distant" enough. They said we should just accept them.

Aita? ######

Response: NAH if you just find it a bit squicky.  YTA if you force them to separate or sabotage the relationship.  The DNA link is pretty small, IIRC.  If they are serious (i.e., talking kids) then they probably do need to get some advice ([3.5% genetic similarity, according to Google](https://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/risk-second-cousins-having-child-disability)).  But obviously they weren't emotionally close as 'relatives' - if they didn't know they were related.  So that makes it a lot less 'squicky', IMO. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé wants to invite his ex to our wedding. I said that would be weird for me and I would rather he did not. He said they are on good terms and it would be as friends.

I stand by that it is perfectly normal to not want her there.

My fiancé stands by it is perfectly normal for people to invite past partners to events like a wedding.

AITA for saying I don't want to invite her? ######

Response: NAH if she is his legitimate friend. Please explore this further with your partner, can you rationally explain your reasons why you do not want this person there? Do they pose an active threat to your relationship or do you just feel uncomfortable at the thought of them there? ######


Prompt:
I'm 26F and when I was 20 I was diagnosed with cancer. I have since then completely recovered, no recurrences thankfully! Before I started chemotherapy, I was informed there's a chance I could be infertile afterwards due to the drugs so I opted to get my eggs frozen. This was very expensive, around $8000 and my parents paid for it. I didn't know at the time if I wanted kids or not but I did like the idea of having options.

Fast forward to now, I definitely do not ever want biological kids. I'm married, husband doesn't want them either. There's no chance we will change our minds on having biological children, adoption is a small maybe.

My mom is starting to get antsy and has been asking me when we are gonna get around to it and I finally just told her straight up we won't be doing that. My husband has had a vasectomy so it's just not gonna happen. Obviously my mom was devastated which was quickly replaced by anger. She said if we don't get pregnant then I owe her the $8000 they paid for my eggs because that was why she paid for it in the first place.

I know I'm not the asshole for not having kids but am I the asshole if I don't pay her back? In my eyes, I was young and scared and had to make some big decisions very quickly and I just wanted options for my future and my parents wanted to pay to help me be under less stress in my decisions. I also understand my parents paid a lot of money for basically no reason. AITA? ######

Response: NAH I’d pay back 50%. Thats a LOT of money to drop on you and while you have no obligation to breed I’d personally start paying them back on small increments. ######


Prompt:
My dad died before I was born, and until I was about 7 it was just me and my mom.  She started dating this guy at her work, he had 4 kids of his own all around my age.  At first I liked it, cause it was nice to have a dad around and his kids were nice enough to me.  The dated for about 7 years and though they weren't really married every vacation and holiday was spent at their place or they would come over to ours.

The problems comes up when they officially got married about 10 months ago, we moved in with them cause they had a really big house.  But they also lived 6 hours away from us, so that means my childhood neighborhood was gone, my childhood house was gone, all my childhood friends were gone, my school that I went to since pre-school was gone and I had to move 6 hours.  As a result of all this I spend a lot of my time in my room, usually on face time with my friends or calling them.

Last night they were having a family movie night and they invited me but my friends were all getting on for a FaceTime call and I opted out of the movie night to talk with my friends.  After I was done talking my mom came into my room to lecture me about how I am "excluding" my new family.  I said that it was too much change and I need time to adjust, she said I can but that I'm being a jerk with how I'm acting through this whole thing.  AITA??? ######

Response: NAH I totally get what you are saying, have you sat down with your mum? Maybe write it in a letter like you have done here and give it to her. Other idea is maybe plan something  with them so it looks like you are trying. They have to understand it's all a big change for you and you are missing you old life ######


Prompt:
I (25F)have struggled with depression and eating disorders for years finally got help .i love cats of course I have one of mine own. shes very affectionate and cuddly which for me is such a wonderfully calming a thing. my therapist suggested i have my cat registered as an ESA just in case i move out to a place that doesn't allow pets

I was in the  process of getting my cat registered as an ESA  but then the lock down happened .

I have 2 roommates  22 y.o male who is currently staying with his family and a 25 y.o. female .

I've made it known to then that my cat while cute as all heck she is also my emotional support . and have asked them to stop constantly bothering her. i know were all bored but my  cat has gotten to the point several times where shes aggressive, hissing,swiping a people and avoiding us at all cost for a day or so.

the cat wont cuddle with me anymore which is a serious downer  and I'm worried my cat  might be stressed out her self .. ######

Response: NAH I read an article where cats (who are quite territorial) who are used to having alone time are becoming stressed because they have basically lost their “territory “ with people home all day. Is there any way you can give your cat a zone? Like your bedroom where they can be alone for part of the day? ######


Prompt:
This ended up in a breakup and to be honest would have resulted in a break up no matter which way it was handled, and I realized that at the time so I handled it the way I did.

Me and my ex had been together for about four years before this, we adopted a dog together in our first year together and had been raising it. However last November the dog came down with cancer, estimated costs for treatment run 5-10k USD and it's not guaranteed, like maybe 50/50 and even if the dog survives it's not going to live a normal life.

Normally we contribute 50/50 to the dog's expenses. The problem is it wasn't possible for my ex to contribute the 5k because of a recent layoff. As for me, I'd recently purchased a cello (I am a cello player, played for 15 years and am insanely passionate about it) for about 15k, and it was still late in the refund period when our dog came down with its diagnosis. I had almost no savings because it was all spent on the cello.

Refunding the cello would have been the only way to come up with the money for the treatment since we were surviving on only my income for the time being and had no excess funds. Frankly i refused and pointed out everything I said here. In the end our dog passed away and we broke up over it, and my ex moved out of my home. I still have doubts whenever I play my cello, but overall I don't regret my decision.

I wonder how reddit would judge me though? ######

Response: NAH I fully understand why you didn't refund the cello and sympathize but I likely would've dumped you too. I know the dog wouldn't have had the same life and I play trumpet and have had similar situations, so I get it. But I don't think I would be able to ever see that cello or hear my SO play it if it was just a painful reminder of my dog dying and us not trying hard enough to save him. ######


Prompt:
My (24m) girlfriends (23) mom recently decided to invite herself over to our house once a week because she has virtually nothing better to do but sit around at our house and complain about most things in her life. When she is over she wants to see our three month old baby.

My girlfriends sister is in town right now from Nebraska and she had plans to spend time with her sister alone because her mom favors her sister more than all of her other kids. But instead of doing that, her mom invites her sister, her kids, and herself over to our home tomorrow morning to sit around. In no world is our home big enough for it but my girlfriend said yes, but told her mom I would stay in our room.
I suffer from anxiety around groups of people no matter the size and have been feeling a little down lately. The COVID pandemic has also prevented me from seeing my family at all this year.

Her mom threw a fit and said I’m acting like I don’t like them, when I reminded my girlfriend that not only has her mom never had a conversation with me, she also fails to realize that with myself working forty plus hours a week, I rarely get time to relax with my girlfriend and our son alone. I also pointed out that my family always talks to my girlfriend over the phone quite often, and genuinely likes talking to her.

Her mom said that’s crap, but also ignored the previous statement about my depression and anxiety. So reddit. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be uncomfortable in my own home and letting them have family time without me?

Side note, my girlfriends niece also lives with us, and that would add to the number of people in our already small living room. ######

Response: NAH i don't think you're an asshole but i bet even if she doesn't it say it your gf would really appreciate you spending time with every one. ######


Prompt:
My grandfather died at the age of 83. He had like 5 or 6 brothers/sisters, so the family is quite big and almost everyone (4 generations) came to his funeral.

Everyone met at the cemetery reception/outside. There were more people than I could even count, and I didn't even know half of them. So, as people gravitated together in groups of the same age, it didn't take long to get really awkward. Imagine meeting a third cousin for the first time in such a situation.

So, with the intention of breaking the ice, I did a couple of jokes, nothing inappropriate, just enough to people crack a smile, and it did work, the tense/awkward atmosphere got way better. Except for my sister, who kept crying copiously all the time, so I left her alone, everyone did.

On the inside and during the ceremony I was totally silent. Nevertheless, after the fact, my sister called me asshole for making jokes at that time.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH I completely understand the intention behind it. I also understand your sister for not liking it. Funerals are really tricky social interactions. Some people think it's good to make it a little bit lighter. Some think it should be very serious. Everyone has a right to their feelings, as long as nobody is deliberately disrespectful.

Maybe have a nice talk with your sister when she's a little less mad, tell her you never meant to disrespect your grandfather (maybe she took it that way) and just give her a big hug. ######


Prompt:
So, I really like to eat big leaves of romaine dipped in hummus. Like it is literally my FAVORITE snack—the fresh crunchiness, the garlic, the salt.

But my fiancé HATES the sound I make when I munch on it. He always makes me get up and go in the other room if we’re both in the kitchen (even if he’s not eating). It bothers him to apparently absurd proportions, to the point he says it makes his skin crawl. He does not feel this way about any of the other foods I eat.

I’ve had my daily romaine habit for about 10 years, and I’d be so sad to lose it, but now I’m wondering if the only ethical thing to do is give it up. We’re in quarantine and he says he can sometimes hear the munching from in the bedroom.

Idk, AITA?

Also I should probably note that my fiancé is the best man I’d ever met and that we love each other very much, as is probably obvious from the fact that our biggest standing argument is about romaine lettuce.

Also, this probably shouldn’t factor in, but I do WAY MORE of our shared domestic labor (all the laundry, cooking, grocery shopping), so I feel like I’m entitled to my snack! But idk. Maybe not. ######

Response: NAH i can understand both of you and i think the best solution would be to snack in another room. If he actually wants you to stop entirely and can't stand hearing it from one room over, maybe he should get himself checked because that level of  misophonia would be far too high for a normal human ######


Prompt:
For context I'm Scottish and from a working class background. Most of my family come from Glasgow and as a result my grandparents and dad have quite strong accents.

I 18m, don't have quite as strong an accent due to my mum when I was younger punishing me for pronouncing words "incorrectly" and "not speaking properly", this caused me a few problems when I was younger like being ostracised at school for talking weird. Eventually I started only speaking this way with her as it was extra effort to constantly think about how I spoke.

When I found out she was doing the same with my younger brother (12) this year I wasn't happy at all. We had quite a big argument over it.

Her argument is that the way she is teaching him makes him sound nicer and will make it easier on him when it comes to job interviews and later life.

I personally think this is stupid as it just sounds odd and forced as well as pretentious at times.

AITA? ######

Response: NAH I can understand being able improve annunciation. It helps in customer service roles and the like to sound professional. I've got a phone voice as does my man. Off the phone he's proper born and bred bridgeton. I see she has her reasons for it but the accent is part of who we are. ######