Prompt:
My 12yo and 10yo sons are very close and it's not unusual for them to hang out with each other's friends when they are around. However, my 10yo much rather hang out with his brother and his friends. My 12yo is at that age where their interests and issues are changing.  Those interests and issues are over the head of my 10yo. As a result, he doesn't really "fit in" anymore.

I wasn't aware of this until my 10yo started crying that his brother and his friends were "bullying" him. It wasn't bullying, they just didn't want him hanging around because they probably wanted to talk about girls and didn't feel comfortable doing so with a 10yo who is clearly not interested in girls yet. So my 10yo felt he wasn't wanted around, acted out and my 12yo threw him out of his room.

Now my 12yo wants to start going over his friend's house and other activities excluding my 10yo. He's the sweetest boy in the world and a lot of fun. A part of me wants to make my 12yo include him because my 10yo really doesn't have friends of his "own." I don't think it will be the end of the world for him to hangout with his brother and his friends. He has "school" friends and "sport" friends, but his "real" friends has always been his brother and his friends.  Mind you, the parents of the my 12yo friends LOVE my 10yo around and would have no issue with his being over. ######

Response: NAH - it’s part of growing up unfortunately. The 12yo shouldn’t be forced to constantly have his 10yo brother hang out with him and his friends, but neither should you allow him to always be excluded. My advice would be to help your 10yo find some new activities in which he could make new friends of his own. ######


Prompt:
For about four years, I had a 2001 Toyota Corolla that got me where I needed to go without many issues. It was my first car, pretty inexpensive and definitely reliable. I just finished grad school and I’m looking into getting my career started, so my plan was to get a newer car within the next two years and give the old one to my youngest sister when she turns 16.

Last week, my brother, who is kind of notorious for being a reckless driver, wrecked my car. Thankfully he was totally okay! The car is totaled though. I have to get a new car and as I’m searching, it looks like the I’ll be putting 500 down, getting a 6,000 loan and then paying the rest with the insurance money from my totaled car.

So here’s the thing: my brother is 100% responsible for this situation. He made a mistake and crashed my car. However, he’s a poor, college student who is especially low on money given the current pandemic. I feel like a dick asking for money towards my new car but it also is fair. If he were a stranger and had crashed into my car, totaling it, he would be held responsible and have to pay.

I definitely wouldn’t ask for more than the 500 that I have to put down out of pocket but idk how much exactly I would ask for from him. WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NAH - it's not just 500 you're out of pocket for. It's 6500. I think the fair thing is for him to match what your insurance has evaluated your car to. You're not TA for holding a grownup accountable for their behaviour. You are TA for not holding him accountable. He's likely a reckless driver because people keep enabling his driving behaviour by not making him pay (figuratively or in this case literally) for his mistakes.

You are however incredibly kind and compassionate for thinking about him and his feelings during such a stressful time. Lots of love and light to you! ######


Prompt:
I was jogging on a trail next to a somewhat busy public street when I saw a young girl crying on a bench. I figured it was best to avoid, but on the way back home, she was still on the same bench, crying. She was about 15. I asked her if she was OK. She said no. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, and she said yes. So, I sat on the bench next to her.

We talked for ~30 minutes. She was running away from home because she was tired of her parents telling her she wasn't allowed to hang out with her friends, or something like that. I don't really remember, but it wasn't anything that sounded dangerous or abusive. I used to teach high school, so I'd heard similar complaints before. At the end, she decided to go back home. I walked her home, which turned out to be surprisingly far, like 4 miles. I dropped her off and walked home.

At some point, she may have put her head on my shoulder while crying. I don't remember if she did, but let's assume so. I didn't touch her, hug her, put an arm around her, etc. I do remember that much.

My girlfriend says that I shouldn't have let her do that. She believes that, as I am a 30+ year old man, allowing a teenage girl that I didn't know to cry on my shoulder can be seen as creepy and molest-y, and it's unacceptable. She says that she knows my intentions were innocent, but I still shouldn't have allowed it. According to her, I shouldn't have even been close enough for the girl to put her head on my shoulder to begin with. AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH - in a situation like this, you have to follow your gut.  Well done on your handling of the situation.

Your girlfriend is also not the AH as she is protecting you.  I presume she is thinking of the damage false allegations would do. ######


Prompt:
I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but here it goes anyway:

After 20 years of being a content screw-up, I finally decided to better myself and finish college. After earning my bachelor’s, I immediately went to grad school and earned my MBA this May.

Anyway, around the same time I initially decided to go back to school, my bro-in-law also decided to go back. He decided to pursue an associate’s degree in a trade.

Seeing as how he wasn’t working while he was going to school, he finished in two years. However, I was working full-time so it took me 7 years to finish both my bachelor’s and my MBA (I had finished most of my generals my first go-around 20 years earlier). I only say this because he would always make comments about how I’m ‘sure taking my time’ and how he finished way before me.

My family had a little celebration for me a few weeks ago and he kept making comments about how I’m finally his equal (emphasis on finally) and joined the ranks as a college graduate.

I didn’t say anything (nor would I) because I don’t want to diminish his accomplishment. At the same time, I can’t help but feel annoyed that he doesn’t seem to get that I had to put in a lot more work to get my degrees.

I guess it bothers me that I feel this way. After all, to him, his associate’s degree is a huge deal (and it is).

So, AIT(elitist)A?

TLDR: My bro-in-law keeps equating his associate’s degree to my master’s, and it bothers me. ######

Response:
 NAH - I think it's normal  to feel a little peeved that he is equating your achievement with his own, because yours was obviously more difficult, and of course more prestigious. But you're not the asshole because you recognize that his achievement is valuable as well and you didn't embarrass him by pointing out the disparity.

It's possible that he's being a bit of an asshole with the "you finally caught up" comments but it's likely coming from a place of insecurity. You've accomplished something really big and he probably feels a bit like he is beneath you now and that's manifesting in this way.

Don't sweat it too much. Being a sibling is weird sometimes. ######


Prompt: Since everything is closed, my mom has told me to eat all the food we have in the fridge. Only problem is, all we've had is lunch meat and cheese for weeks. I'm really tired of eating the same thing every day. So today, my mom came upstairs and told me that there was meat and cheese for lunch in the fridge. I internally sighed and went to a convenience store instead and got a meatball sub. I used my own money. When she woke up, she saw the paper from my sandwich in the trash and started freaking out that i'm not using the lunch meat that she bought, and that it was wasteful and I put myself and the family at risk. AITA? ######

Response: NAH - I get why you're sick of having the same thing every day, but I also get that she probably bought what she could when grocery stores were/are crazy because of COVID, and she doesn't want you unnecessarily going out and risking bringing in the virus. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend and I were having a really lazy day and spent it all in bed watching series off Netflix. We eventually got bored and both took a nap and when we woke up we just played with each other's faces (just something we do). We started talking about life and out of the blue he said I was amazing. We joked around with each other and finally he just said he wanted to marry me. Said something like "You know? I love you. You love me. Let's get married". Of course I thought he was joking and agreed that we should do it (I would've said yes anyways).

We joked around some more and he grabbed his phone and took a picture of us and said he was going to post it with the caption "She said yes". I told him not to because people will think we're being serious. He just looked at me and said he was being serious. After asking a couple more times if he's serious and him saying yes, I told him that it was a bad attempt and that he should redo it and then I'll say yes. He got upset and said he was' taking the proposal back', took the duvet and went to the living room. Was I an asshole to tell him to do it again? ######

Response:
 NAH - Holy hell to the YTA's there's a world of options between a grand ass gesture and a proposal where the other party doesnt even know they're being proposed to.

OP let him calm down, he feels regected at the moment. When hes calm, the two of you need to talk so you can explain your side and reasoning and allow him to explain why he's upset. Maybe you could propose to him? ######


Prompt:
We were casually chatting yesterday and he brought up that he was looking at the /gonewild subs. I personally am okay with looking at porn and the general /gonewild subs, but when he was looking at specifically the Asian subs I feel extremely uncomfortable. Something about the intimacy (as opposed to porn) and the resemblance to my own body threw me off.

I do send him nudes whenever he asks for them and I feel bad knowing he’s jerking off to women who look so much like me.. but not me.

I don’t think it’s an body-insecurity thing either, i look pretty much like the more toned girls on the sub. So redditers- AITA? ######

Response: NAH - he’s not an asshole for having a preference, especially considering he’s dating someone with those same traits he finds attractive. And you’re not an asshole for feeling uncomfortable about it. If you bring it up to him and be vulnerable about how you feel it’s a simple request. He’d be the asshole if he didn’t respect your wishes or got defensive. ######


Prompt:
So, I (M29) have a step son who is 6 years old. I love the little fucker. He is hilarious and very articulate for his age. Better than I am honestly. Little shit.

He speaks ALL DAY LONG. Every morning he wants waffles for breakfast. Doesn't matter what morning it is or what we have in the house. Waffles. Just waffles. So... I started fucking with him. I told him "You know... if you continue to eat waffles like you do there is a chance you will turn into a waffle". Then I get a "What do you mean?" So I just spill some bullshit about how it's some disease that is extremely difficult to get blah blah blah.

A few weeks of this goes by every morning. He never believes me and I always laugh at his. Yesterday morning however... was different. I kept looking at the back of his head and when he would quickly turn to look at me.. I'd look away with that "Yup I wasn't looking!". He kept asking me what I was looking at and I told him that the back of his head is turning into a waffle and I think he has the disease. He kept feeling his head and said no it's not and I kept saying stuff like "Okaaaay" and "Whatevvvvveeerrr". Then finally... I told him that he was eating his waffle cousins and that might be why he is turning into a waffle.

He spit the waffles out and was BAWLING HIS EYES OUT and ran to find his mom and at the time I was laughing so hard.

My wife is mad at me. AITA? ######

Response: NAH - he’ll get over it. It’s hilarious. I mean, it sucks that he became distressed, but come on. Telling kids that you are what you eat and you’ll turn into it if you refuse to vary your diet is a time honored and generally harmless tradition. ######


Prompt:
I get it, it's his money so I can't tell him not to spend it, but please hear me out.

I'm 19 and still live with my parents, I've been saving up with the little amount of money I make while working so that I can move out of my parents house. It's crowded and they've made it obvious that I'm a nuisance in their life, even though I also pay rent and buy all of my own things.

My boyfriend (19) and I have been planning this for ages, but he has a bad habit of impulse buying. He recently lost his job and gets money from our Government Financial Support we have in Australia (Centrelink). The usual amount he gets given has increased because of COVID, so I asked him to please save up the extra money he has (since he barely saved anything since we started planning this 1 year ago). He promised me that he will save, but only promised that he'll "Try not to spend any money". At this point I didn't want to start an argument so I just let it go.

Today he sold his old car, and made about $2200 off of it. He messaged me about it, followed by a whole bunch of things that he suddenly really wanted to buy (laptop, University course etc). I messaged him to "Please save it and for the love of God, just because you have the money doesn't mean you should spend it". All he said was "I'll try". I have to admit, I am not having a good day, so I lost it. I told him that I was sick of his stupid spending habits, and I hate that he's not taking saving money seriously by spending everything he saves on shit that he suddenly feels like he needs. He just responded with "Then fuck off if you don't like it because I am trying".

I didn't reply. I muted him and refuse to speak with him.

AITA? ######

Response: NAh - he is just not as keen to move out as you, he probably is saving some of his money, he doesn't have ti save all his car money to go o  something for you both, a laptop and university course are good things spend money on. It's not his fault you're unhappy in your home life. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try and keep the backstory as short and to the point as I can because I’m in a real turmoil at the moment.

I was estranged from my dad until my mum died early last year. He came back into my life at her funeral.
He lives in a different country from me with a family I haven’t seen or spoken to in years.
He asked me if there was a way we could have a relationship. I was emotionally distraught after my mum died because she has no living family so I was in a sense on my own. I was working a shit job I hated so when the opportunity came to leave I said yes.

Living with him has been fine. He works a lot and we spend time together whenever we can. ‘My’ family have been very welcoming to me, inviting me out and helping me adjust to a new country and lifestyle.
After a few months I noticed my dad was unwell, gradually getting worse. I questioned him about it and he told me not to worry.  Then I found the letters from the hospital.

The letter I found was from the hospital saying my dad had missed another chemo appointment for his cancer. I decided to confront him when he got home.

He sat at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette, and told me he knew he had cancer and he knew that it was likely terminal and he wasn’t gonna spend whatever time he had left hooked up to machines ok the off chance it worked.

I’m not proud but I lost my shit. I had just lost my mother and to all extents and purposes I had no father. He comes back into my life to forge some kind of relationship with me to tell me I might have to watch my father die the same year I lost her.

I told him he has to go to his chemotherapy or I’m leaving.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NAH - he has every right to die on his own terms.  You have every right to walk away and not watch the process. ######


Prompt:
Ok, now let me explain.

My sister got married last year shortly after coming out to my whole family as being gay. My family was/is firmly opposed to it, and it's been a point of contention ever since, and she's now estranged from our parents.

Nevertheless, my sister invited all of us to her wedding last summer, she really wanted her family there for the support. Of course, my parents and my oldest brother declined the invitation. My sister and I have always been close, however, and I was so happy for her, and I wanted to show up for her.

At the time, I was still living at home with my family and was dependent on them financially. So, I made the decision to attend the wedding but I didn't tell my family about it because I knew it would cause drama and possible repercussions.

The ceremony was beautiful and was drama-free, at least until it was time for the photos. My sister naturally wanted me included in the photographs, but knowing that they would be circulated on Facebook where my parents would most likely see them, I told her I'd rather not be photographed. Once she realized I was serious, she had a meltdown and cursed me out for being ashamed of her and ashamed to be there. Her bride (my new sister in law), got mad at me for causing a fuss. In my mind, I was upset because I risked my living situation to attend her wedding (this is not an exaggeration), which she knew, but I didn't want to cause any extra drama so I just kept quiet.

To this day, she still brings it up when I see her sometimes in a passive-aggressive manner.

AITA in this situation? ######

Response:
 NAH - given you were dependent on them, you weren't really in a position to cut your family off for the sake of public photos and it wasn't fair for her to ask that. I can also somewhat understand your sister's reaction though - she'd already been estranged by the rest of her family.

I'm surprised you couldn't agree to keep the ones with you in, private? ######


Prompt:
Context: I have a condition that people usually die pretty young; although there are a few new treatments that look promising and are letting people live a lot longer. Other people with my condition also make these types of jokes.

I was talking today with my (16f) sister (18f) about college and planning for the future. I want to move out of state for college and my sister said I won’t be able to because of my condition, she then went on to say “you have horrible future planning skills” and to which I responded “I didn’t really think I was going to need them for much longer haha”.

 I’ll make other offhand comments such as “I’m not going to go to college because I won’t need my education for that long anyway” or “Ill travel around the world and not get a job because I won’t have to worry about retirement or anything”.

None of these comments are serious at all but today my sister completely flipped her lid. She started yelling at me for making jokes about how I won’t live long and I’m an ass for saying that kind of stuff to family. She doesn’t usually react so I was very taken aback. I tried to explain it helps me deal with the fact that I probably won’t live that long and she told me to just not talk to her about to then.

AITA for saying these things to her? ######

Response: NAH - everyone copes differently with mortality. and I know from experience it's SUPER uncomfortable to hear someone you care about joke about their life-threatening condition. If that's how you deal, that's ok - it's your life after all - but it's also ok for your sister to feel like it's overwhelming to be reminded all the time. ######


Prompt:
I really don’t know if I’m the asshole.

My son recently turned 16, and he’s super interested in genealogy and history now. He wants to get an AncestryDNA test, so for his birthday I got him one. Apparently according to his results, he was half Indian, which makes sense since I’m Indian.

My ex-wife got super mad. She’s saying that I’m basically giving away his DNA to billion dollar companies and that it can easily get into the hands of the government.

I mean, I don’t know if that’s necessarily incorrect, but if the government wants his DNA, they’d already have it by now. There are hundreds of easier ways to get his DNA. I mean, I get it, he’s a minor. The thing is, I think he’s old enough to decided how much privacy he wants.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH - but I would never get one of those tests.  My issue is not with "the government" having my DNA, it's with a private for-profit company having my DNA.  Sure, they promise not to sell your information to other companies, and if they did they would be in trouble -- but that wouldn't undo the fact that your DNA was had been sold and you have no control over what happens next.  And what if the company goes bankrupt?  Do you know who's going to buy their assets?  I don't think the entertainment value of the results is enough to outweigh the risks.

If the son was much younger than 16, then I would vote y\_t\_a for OP not discussing with son's mom. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend Dana and I have been dating for almost a year. I’ve introduced her via video call to my female best friend Maddie, who lives one state over, but they’ve never met in person. Maddie is the type who takes a while to warm up to people and she and Dana don’t really have any reason to interact right now so they don’t really have much of a relationship.

Maddie sometimes goes to our city for work but usually has to catch a flight back home on the same day. She told me that she will be in our city to meet a client next week and invited me and my coworker Zach to have lunch afterwards at an upscale restaurant near our office. Zach and Maddie have never met in person as well but we’ve been play online games three or four times a week for the past couple of months and Maddie said that she wants to finally meet Zach in person. The lunch would be her treat since she’s celebrating her birthday next week but won’t be in our city then.

When I told Dana that Zach and I will have lunch with Maddie next week, she told me that she also wants to go so she can meet Maddie in person. I told her that I don’t think we can do that because it’s Maddie’s treat and asking her if Dana can go too would be like forcing her to invite Dana and pay for Dana’s meal as well. I didn’t want to do that because if Maddie wanted to meet Dana then she would have invited Dana but she didn’t, and she only wanted to meet Zach.

Dana got upset and said that I’m not making an effort to let Maddie and her know each other better. I told Dana that we can invite Maddie to lunch or coffee the next time she’s in our city, but I really don’t think that it’s a good idea to ask Maddie to let Dana come to the lunch with Zach next week.

AITA? ######

Response: NAH - but also no adults here. You can't have a 5 second conversation with your best friend about if she's interested in meeting your girlfriend? ######


Prompt:
Alright. This just happened like an hour ago and it's very uncomfortable in my house right now.

I'm 21, in school, living at home. I had the door closed to my room and the lights off, and my mom knocked on the door and asked if she can come in. I said I needed a second, and the she asked what I was doing.

In the brief period between her asking and me opening my mouth I thought it was rude of her to ask when, between my closed door and telling her I need a second, I was trying to maintain my privacy. I also thought she'd know I was lying anyway or just assume something worse, so I said,

"If you must know, I'm masturbating".

Yeah. She's giving me the silent treatment now, and my dad is pretty upset at me. I get that it was rude to be so blunt, but I also think it's rude to investigate further when your adult son says he needs a sec.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NAH - As a Mom of 4 teenage boys I just always assume that's what ya'll are doing anyways. ######


Prompt:
I (19f) have a nonbinary friend (16m) who I’ve known for years and years, and we’ll call him Corbin. He has become like a little brother to me.

Corbin likes people to rank how much they like something (a movie, food, etc) on a scale of 1-10, or to use an emoji on how they are feeling. Everyone I’ve seen talk to him does this.. except me. He says this helps him comprehend how much they liked or disliked it, or how they’re emotionally feeling. Well he asked me how much I liked a movie I was watching, 1-10, and I said “I liked it”. He then got very upset and told me how I never help him comprehend anything because I don’t do what he asks me. I told him this is because I don’t think in ranked numbers or emoji’s so therefore it’s hard for me to know what to say.

Corbin then says he’s not going to ask me any more questions ever and now is very upset and won’t talk to me.

So. AITA? ######

Response:
 NAH -  before I throw this out there, I just wanna say I've been awake for about 26 hours, so this idea might not be as helpful as I think it is.

If it were me, I would do a one time reference sheet from one to ten, have 1 be "hated it", 5 be "meh" or "it was okay" and 10 be "loved it".

Your friend could fill in the blanks mentally from there, or at least know which side of "meh" your opinion (ie: "I liked it") falls.

He could easily assess that "I liked it" falls somewhere between "meh" and "loved it".

That way, he can quantify your answer, which is what he's looking for, and you don't have to carry the responsibility of doing that for him.

If it works, it could be a tool for future conversations with other people, because sooner or later he's going to need that skill.

But as I alluded to earlier, I'm tired. ######


Prompt:
OK so I (26F) in a bit of a predicament. I love my dad very much, and we have a great relationship. We share a lot of interests and we have a special bond. I have no doubt that my dad has my best interests at heart, but he can be a little distracted at times.

My step-mom and I also have a good relationship, but she can be a very firm and headstrong woman, where my dad is a little softer. They have two sons together, (M15 and M17), who I also have a great relationship with but as any mother would, she sometimes favors them over me. This has bothered me in the past, but as I'm not her real daughter I've made my peace with it.

The other day I was visiting them and having dinner and we somehow got into the subject of wills and testaments, and it was kinda revealed that if my stepmom dies, my dad inherits everything and will likely pass things to my brother. It got me wondering, if my dad dies, will she inherit everything to do with as she pleases? Because in that case, I suspect that everything will go to my brothers.

My dad means everything to me, and the thought of him passing is a thought I don't think if I can avoid it, but what kills me even more would be if he died and I would have nothing of his. I don't really care about money, I care about the things we've bonded over together. For example he has a small library that we've spent countless hours in, which my stepmom and brother has had no interest in.

So the question is; WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with him? I don't want to come off greedy, I really don't, but I'm afraid that I will inherit nothing from my dad.

&#x200B;

TLDR: If my dad dies, I will likely inherit nothing, WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with my dad? ######

Response: NAH  you should talk to your father about it and explain your concern . First talk to him alone and see what he thinks about this, then discuss this with whole family ######


Prompt:
My older brother's (23M) GF, Linda (24F) has been living with us since November after her parents kicked her out. She's really nice and we normally get along. She's a huge fashion girl and wears the most beautiful clothes, and she's been a great help for fashion advice.

Me (17F) and my younger brother and sister (13F) and (11F) were playing football out in the garden, and Linda was hanging out there too. As usual she was dressed her best. The ball ended up near her and I asked her to kick it back but she was wearing designer shoes.

''I'm not touching that thing with my shoes'' she said.

The ball was not dirty at all and I thought she was being silly, so I called her a diva and said tapping a ball wouldn't ruin her shoes. She just gave me a look and went inside, and later my brother had a go at me for being ''nasty'' to Linda.

How was that nasty? I asked her to tap the ball which wasn't dirty back to me. It wouldn't have done anything to her shoes. I don't see why she made such a fuss and was being a diva about it. ######

Response:
 NAH
It's not just the dirt, that could still mark her shoes in some way. But I don't see how either part is an AH. Simple request, simple deny lol ######


Prompt:
This is embarrassing but here goes.

I [18M] have been with my girlfriend [18F] for 11 months. She spends the night with me once in a while and we share a bed. The bed is small, we both sleep on our sides and our bodies touch, and she always sleeps naked. This makes it way more difficult for me to go to sleep as it makes me really horny. We usually end up having sex late at night but even after its still distracting.

I usually don't mind this cause I love sleeping in the same bed and snuggling and don't mind falling asleep late. Well my gf decided to stay the night again. I had class online the next morning at 7 AM so I told her I was going to sleep on the couch. I  explained why. I also didn't ask her to just sleep in her clothes because I didn't want to be controlling. She never suggested it. She got upset and called me immature. She was upset asking why she even slept over if we aren't going to be able to cuddle and fall asleep together. I just hadn't thought about that problem yet when we decided to have the sleep over.

The next morning after I finished my class I made breakfast for us while she was still asleep, and went to cuddle with her while she awoke and surprise her with breakfast in bed to make her happy about this sleepover. Plus I wanted to cuddle while she awoke and then eat breakfast too. But she just took some bacon and went home. After that she apologized for leaving abruptly but said it was rude of me to invite her to stay over without telling her she wouldn't get to sleep with me and that my problem was immature.

This happened 2 few months ago but I've been thinking about it again recently. ######

Response:
 NAH

You had a problem and tried to find a solution. Your solution was understandably frustrating to your girlfriend.

I understand not suggesting that she puts clothes on to go to sleep to not be controlling, but you should have talked to her and gone over other possible solutions instead of just deciding what to do alone and then informing her. Together you could have had a better idea that made everyone happy. ######


Prompt:
When my sister and  I were in high school we had a group project where we had to set up a business and make an actual real business plan. The idea for the business was actually pretty cool and we got an A on the project.

A couple years ago I brought up actually doing the business idea, but she didn’t have any money for startup costs and she was busy with college, so I just went with the idea on my own. It’s been great. I get to work less hours and still make a good amount of money while working at home in my pajamas.

She wants in now. She wants a job she can do from home as finding someone to watch her children while she works is hard now.

But its really not like I need her help with anything anymore. I’ve already set up all the groundwork. It’s just simple tasks for a few hours a day now. If I give her some of the work it’s only taking away from my own work and this is my real job now. It’s not like we would even be making any more money together if she helped. I would just be making less.

But she and our mom think I should still include her because it was her idea too and I don’t need the money as much since I have a long term boyfriend with a good paying job (we share finances) and she doesn’t. ######

Response:
 NAH
I would suggest telling her that she is first on the list for new hires once the business requires two people but for now there's simply not enough revenue to support the both of you. Since you supplied the start up costs and did the work that one person is you.

> I don’t need the money as much since I have a long term boyfriend with a good paying job (we share finances) and she doesn’t.

Irrelevant.
Jobs are not handed out according to need. In this case the job is yours because you were the one that supplied the money and did the work to get the business going.

>She wants a job she can do from home as finding someone to watch her children while she works is hard now.

And I want a summer home in Colorado. Doesn't mean I am going to get it.

Be kind and tactful but be clear- the business cannot support two employees at this time and you are not willing to abandon your investment to give away your job.

Perhaps offer her the option of buying in by giving you half your start up costs and all other expenses encountered so far? Name her the price you feel half the business is worth.
That will help her understand that you have put cold hard cash in already and simply cannot just walk away from your investment.
Chances are she doesn't have the money and will then abandon any feelings of entitlement she might be feeling. ######


Prompt:
On mobile, please excuse spelling mistakes.

I finished working last night and drove to her place which I normally do in weekends, instead of going inside right away I decided to clean my car, she messaged me where I was to which I responded with I was here but cleaning. She called about 15 mins later asking what was taking so long to which I replied in a snappy tone about there being alot to clean.

She has a dog which sits in the backseat. It gets carsick but she normally cleans it up, which we had agreed upon when she got it. Well the dog had gotten sick about a week and half ago and she said she was going to clean it up. It stinks, it's gross having puke in the back of my car and I got tired of waiting so I'm doing it myself. She's grumpy with me because I'm cleaning my car and not cuddling, and I'm grumpy because I'm now cleaning out her dogs puke that's started to mold in my backseat.

Potentially relevant info
I smoke in the car, we eat food and drink in the car as well (not booze) she doesnt smoke. We live separately, the dog is fully hers, car is fully mine. ######

Response:
 ESH

Your car sounds so gross that a bit more or less of dog puke isn't going to make a big difference. ######


Prompt:
I am 24 and live with my parents, though I’m working on moving out. There are lots of reasons why we are not close, but this last thing just takes the cake for me. I’m posting here to see if I’m possibly overreacting since I suppose it was a “mistake”.

My parents aren’t really fans of dogs or pets in general, but I am, and last year I bought a miniature poodle and named it Joey. My parents know how much I loved him, and honestly I felt that he really helped my precarious mental health. The house is big enough that my parents can have their own space. I pay rent and I paid for all of Joey’s expenses. The only thing I ask of my parents is to sometimes take him out to pee in the front yard, but keep a close eye on him.

Yesterday, after I woke up, my mom told me that Joey was missing. She said that she had taken him out front to pee while I was asleep, and then she’d gone back into the house for a minute. Apparently she “forgot” Joey was outside so she left him there alone for about an hour. When she came back outside, he was gone.

I am beyond furious, and cannot help but feel that this was intentional. I’ve put his info up online and asked/looked around, but no luck. I vowed to my parents that as soon as I was able to move out, I’m cutting them off.

AITA? My older brothers both say that my reaction is way over the top ######

Response:
 ESH

You’re essentially making people who didn’t sign up for a dog take care of YOUR dog. Your reaction if over the top.

Yeah, she shouldn’t have forgotten the dog. But it was an accident. It’s easy to forget things when you start doing something else. ######


Prompt:
I have a boss who's highly religious. I realise this on about the 4th day of work after I saw his home screen on his computer which was a picture of Jesus. I personally hate religion and the vast majority of people who are involved in it. And my experience that drives people apart and use it's power in corrupt ways.

Anyways fast forward about 5 months and I've told someone I know will tell my boss that I'm highly Christian. My boss had a brief discussion with me about my beliefs and seem to open up in a way that I hadn't seen during the course of our prior to that moment. The next day my boss encouraged me to apply for a promotion which I mentioned I was "praying to get".

Am I the arsehole for manipulating a coworker into giving me a promotion based on the false pretext that I am religious? ######

Response:
 ESH

You’re being a hypocrite, and basically a brown nose to get ahead.

They shouldn’t promote based off religious belief. ######


Prompt:
I'm M24 my gf is F23 and her friends are f23 and just finished their first year of law school. They're always talking about how much money they're gonna make and always debating on issues and I join in a lot of the time and its a good discussion.

Recently we were talking about our governments assault rifle ban and I chimed in a few points and one of the girls basically said that I don't know anything about the law and was being a bitch. I told her that just because she's in law school doesn't mean she's a genius and she retorted back to me that its the best law school in the country and they'll all be making more money than me.

I just laughed and said that the job market was saturated with lawyers and its extremely hard to get in a firm now and told her to have fun being unemployed and having 100k worth of debt.

My Gf laughed although her friends were calling me an asshole, my Gf said I was a bit of an ass but I disagree. She came at me so I went back at her.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

You: "just because this is your area of expertise does not make you an expert!!"

Her: "I feel attacked, so I'm going to say some elitist bullshit about wages"

You: "I also feel attacked now, so I am going to make fun of your student debt"

You both sound hugely exhausting to be around ######


Prompt:
My roommate has said I'm a selfish cunt and that I should even move out so I guess I want the internet to say the same thing.

Yesterday a dog showed up and was barking under my window at my cat, who was in my window. I made a commotion and my roommate, who is a dog lover, got up and she got the dog.

We spent the morning walking around the various houses asking if it was their dog. The dog was attached to a cut cable lead. No one recognized the dog.

Fast forward, the dog was fine UNTIL she came in contact with my cats. After that, she wouldn't stop whining nonstop over and over and over and tried getting to my cats, who I had to lock up in my bedroom. This continues. The whining stops for a second but then starts back up. We have a fenced in yard, she barks nonstop if she's out. When not whining at my closed bedroom door, she is frantically pacing the house and whining then going back to my bedroom. She's a medium sized hunting dog.

This morning, after hours and hours of listening to her whining and pawing at my bedroom door, I let her out the front door. She came back after running around. I did this three other times. The last time she did not come back.

I had full intentions to take her to the shelter today. The one for my county is not taking animals and the one a county over is closed until tomorrow. I know a lot of dogs roam around us so I guess I was hoping by letting her out the front, she would just naturally go home. My roommate says I'm a selfish bitch and she wants me to move out because I only care about myself because that dog needed our help. My anxiety is already at fucking 11 with everything else that's going on, I didn't even know you had to pay to bring a dog to the animal shelter so I was already nervous about that. AITA? Should I just move out? ######

Response:
 ESH

You shouldn't be forced to keep an animal that poses danger to you or your current animal(s). If the animal wasn't in distress or clearly sick/hurt then there was no reason not to move it elsewhere such a friend's/neighbor's house while waiting to take to the shelter.

That being said you're an AH for letting the dog runaway without talking to your roommate and/or finding an alternate place to keep the dog.

Your roommate is an AH for kicking you out over an animal when there seems to be no solution both of you could come to. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway Cause I know my daughter uses social media but I don't know which social media platform she uses plus I am not going to post this on my main account.

I have two kids a 30 year old daughter and a 20 year old son. I remarried with my new wife after my old one cheated with me two times. My new wife is my daughters step mom and my son is the bio child of my daughters step mom. Me and my wife have been married for 25 years. My daughter was just 5 years old when we split.

Me and my wife have a great relationship no one cheated we both checked each other phones and computer as no one ever needed to hide anything. Me and my wife had a great deal of trust. So I plan to give all the property to my wife when I pass away. My daughter however asked today morning what inheritance she is getting as I am pretty old. I told her none. My daughter yelled at me and then asked me what her brother is getting I told her he is not getting anything and that my wife is getting all the inheritance.

At this point my daughter started screaming at me saying she would love the house me and my wife lived in and said if I gave it all to my wife she won't get anything. I told her not my fault that she might not get anything because she treated my wife garbage even all the way to adult hood. My daughter told me I was a piece of shit father and I was a garbage person. SO AITA ######

Response:
 ESH

You can do whatever you want to do with your money. That doesn’t mean that with that freedom doesn’t come responsibilities or consequences. I have a hard time conceiving why you wouldn’t want to let your daughter and son have at least some of the money to make their lives a little more financial secure and comfortable. Your children should come before your wife particularly since you both apparently seem to be of an age where you are ser for life.

She sucks for asking about her inheritance. It’s not a very classy thing to ask. And she’s acting entitled to the money which she really isn’t.

I’m refraining from judging her on her actions towards your new wife because I don’t have the full history and I don’t know if it could have been justified. Either way it sounds vindictive and that makes you in the wrong here as well. ######


Prompt: Yes, I know that today is Mother's Day, but apparently my husband didn't and he hasn't offered an apology or even attempted to make up for it. This is the second year in a row that he's ruined it and he thinks I should just get over it. The thing is that he gets rather upset when we don't celebrate Father's Day to his satisfaction, but if he can't make the minimum of effort (and by minimum, I mean know what day it is) for my day, WIBTA if I just "forgot" what day Father's Day is this year, ######

Response:
 ESH

Yes, you will be an asshole, like he is an asshole for not making an effort for you. It's a subject for a conversation, not pettiness. ######


Prompt:
My mother is having mental health issues so I took in my 10yo brother. I'm a single 27yo male and my brother is 25 and married with no kids. Moving in a 10yo and trying to manage a mentally ill person and working full-time is draining and I am doing this with no help. I've asked  my brother for help - mainly taking are of our brother on the weekends and he refuses. His weekend is his weekend to spend with his wife or to go golfing or ride their motorcycles. He doesn't want to be bothered. I find that ironic because both he and his wife post a lot about how family is everything. They took a break from social media and I used that opportunity to call them both out, but mainly my brother. On my brother's page, I explained that our mother had a psychotic breakdown and could no longer care for our brother and Kyle (the 25yo) refused to life a finger to help, even just a little for a little time. I left another one on his wife's page saying that my brother became a dick after marrying her but it was cool because they'll eventually eat each other alive.

It took a few days for them to find out about the posts and a lot of people saw it. They thought it was a joke at first. My brother DM'd me eight times and I didn't bother reading them. I know he is mad. ######

Response:
 ESH

Yeah they suck for not helping but you suck for airing it all out on social media ######


Prompt:
So I (28m) am currently living with my GF (26f) of 2 years cause of quarantine and after the restrictions were lifted in the area, we decided to keep living together for a bit longer. I'm a personal trainer and a fitness model and my GF is a model.

So cause of the lockdown, my gf started following this weird Vegan girl. She does everything this chick does, from her diet and workout, which was fine, to nor shaving. I didnt like it but I decided to just stay silent about it. I'm a pretty vain guy and I like to keep myself as good looking as possible (I'm shallow, I know) so before you come at me... Yes, I also shave all over my body.

I was fine with it until she initiated sex. I told her, as nicely as possible, that I didn't find her body hair attractive so I passed on that. She started yelling at me with the whole "my body, my rules" and I told her I didn't force her to shave, I just didn't like the idea of it. I NEVER said anything bad about it btw, just that it wasnt my cup of tea. I then said if that rule applies to her, it applies to me too and I slept on the couch.

The next day I decided to go to my best friend's house, who's roommate was a tattoo artist (lockdown restrictions are lifted). I've been talking about getting a tattoo on my chest for the longest time but my gf always discouraged me and told me I'm not allowed to get one. I already have a half sleeve btw. I got a tattoo of a lion and I absolutely love it.

So I came home and my girlfriend saw it and went ballistic. She yelled at me for being an asshole and cried. She asked me "how could you do this to me?" And then I told her... My body, my rules. She stormed out and locked herself in the room and hasn't come out since.

I'm on the couch right now thinking about if I took it too far.

So Reddit... AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

Y'all seem petty as hell. Maybe have actual discussions about things rather than dropping things like "I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore" when she initiates sex, or going and getting a tattoo without telling her. You can say that you're not telling her what to do with her body, but when you basically say "I won't have sex with you if you have body hair" then that is a lot of pressure for her to change.

Do I agree with her telling you not to get a tattoo? No, this is why it's an ESH. She is an asshole for thinking she can *tell* you what to do with your body. But you are supposedly adults and you should discuss these things.

And if these discussions reveal that you really can't handle female body hair, and she can't handle tattoos, then call it a day. But don't try and score points against one another, which is what it sounds like you're doing here. ######


Prompt:
I've (43M) been with my wife (43F) for 26* years, married for 17 of those and we have a 25 year old daughter together.

Don't get me wrong; my wife was a great mother but she wasn't the responsible one, I did everything, i cooked, cleaned, took our daughter to her clubs- everything, my wife was there for emotional support, she's never had the maternal instincts.

My wife has always wanted a dog, but I've always said it's the wrong time because of our daughter who only just moved out this year.

We've had pets, we got a rabbit when our daughter was 10 who we ended up rehoming because my wife just doesn't have the attention span, we fostered a pup when my daughter was 12 and my wife lost interest.

We recently found out she's pregnant again, huge surprise (should've gotten that vasectomy 10 years ago!) I'm excited, I've missed having a baby in the house and my wife has told me that I'll be the main parent, basically.

My wife however has used this as a point to say she wants a pup, since we're going to have a child in the house till into our 60s and it'd be cute for the baby to grow up with a pup and how she's more responsible now (she isnt)

Well it's all she's asked for.

Come last week it's her birthday, now something about my wife is she loves gardening; all her plants end up dying though.

I got her a bunch of flowers, vegetables and fruits, I'm digging up a pond and  basically turning the end of the garden into a section for her and, to keep it all looking lively and clean, I'm hiring a gardener.

She stormed up to her room and spent all day in there.

She's upset because she only wanted a pup (she's expressed interest in gardening) and that I'm being a condescending jerk who couldn't just get her what she asked for.

AITA?

Edit; typo ######

Response:
 ESH

Why are you having a child with someone when you can't trust them to take care of a dog? What exactly is the plan if you die? Because that happens and now your kid is with a person you don't trust to take care it. Your wife should not be having kids if she is not maternal and has no interest in taking care of kids, you are condescending and having kids with someone that cannot take care of them, and you both should be more responsible with your reproductive choices. At a minimum your kid is in a bad spot having 2 aging parents. ######


Prompt:
My best friend and his wife have been married for 8 years (they’re our neighbors). His wife works on a cruise ship and has worked there for about 2 years up until March. He has been telling me he has been getting weird vibes all the time where something didn’t seem right every time she got off the ship. It’s tough to describe but essentially her personality just seemed off. One day someone calls his home phone while she’s outside, and he picks up and a random dude asks where his wife is and that set him to wire tap on the home phone.

While I had some reservations, there were way too many red flags to ignore not to wiretap.

He played the recording for me and it was his wife talking to her sister telling her that “she’s really scared and doesn’t know what to do” when he, my best friend, finds out that she has been “fucking the whole ship”.

I legit could not believe it.

I told my wife about this and she said I was an asshole for siding with him for wiretapping the phone.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

We have an asshole who is spying on his wife instead of communicating with her, an asshole who is cheating on her husband, and an asshole who thinks it's OK to break the law by [recording private conversations.](https://www.mwl-law.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/RECORDING-CONVERSATIONS-CHART.pdf)

Edited for brevity, and to stop getting replies that misconstrue my point, or just miss it all together. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) have lived in an apartment with 3 other people (all 22F) since August of 2019. For the last year, my roommates have been rude and condescending to me. They’ve belittled me for having what I see as a normal college experience, such as spending time with friends and going out on weekends. They are all extremely Type A and only focused on school. I was not, but I was generally a good roommate and a good student. But, they were particularly rude and passive aggressive about specific cleaning things. For example, if I left dishes in the sink, I would get a text in our group message saying something passive aggressive, like “just remember to clean up after yourselves!” One time I was putting away dishes from the dishwasher while one roommate watched, before taking over and saying “It’s okay that you didn’t do this right. It’s just that you have a more creative brain, while I have a logical brain.”

Since the pandemic hit, I unofficially moved out, by taking a suitcase of clothes to my friends’ apartment and staying here for the past two and a half months. I’ve been really happy here and have been validated that I am a good roommate, I was just living with the wrong people. Now, the lease in my old apartment (to which I still paid rent for the past two months) ends at the end of this month. I went in and moved all my things out, and cleaned my bedroom and my bathroom. My roommates want me to come back and help them clean the common areas after they move their things out. I think it would be one last middle finger to them if I didn’t show up to help, seeing how they micromanaged and condescended my cleaning for two years straight.

My friends/new roommates encouraged me to block their numbers and not help clean. My mom thinks I should help them, or forfeit my security deposit if I don’t help. WIBTA if I didn’t help them clean? ######

Response:
 ESH

They suck for being bad room-mates. but you would very much suck if you don't go and help clean a place that you have lived in for two years.

It's just common decency, especially if it is just going to be helping with the common areas, especially if over the past two years you have often used them.

The question you need to ask yourself is this. can you afford to lose your security deposit, over a simple job like dusting and hoovering a common area? ######


Prompt: I met this American guy who asked me if I were British based on my accent. I said no, I was Australian. He laughed and said that Australians and British people are the same so it made no difference. I tried to explain that we are not one in the same but he wouldn't listen. I asked him if he was American and he said he was and how I could tell. I said I could tell he was an American because he was fat. He told me that was way out of line, but so is calling an Australian a Brit, ######

Response:
 ESH

There is a level of stupid we as humans need to learn to identify as, simply pointless to engage. ######


Prompt:
Hey guys! So this is an issue that's been weighing on me for some time now. A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were on a Zoom call with her parents. I've never felt 100% comfortable with her parents, partially because her mom is known to make derogatory comments about my height. She often refers to the pair of us as "the long and the short of it". For context, my girlfriend is 5' 9'' and I am three inches shorter.

The Zoom call was going well until my girlfriend's mom began talking about her culinary experimentation with souffles. She was lamenting about how quickly souffles deflate, and my girlfriend hurried in to say that I must be a souffle because I was tall-ish in my childhood but stopped growing. I was enraged at what she said, not just because of how cruel it was, but also because she must have known how her mother would react. Both her parents started laughing and her father even went on to compare me to a lemon souffle, which I assume was a racial joke. I then told my girlfriend that if I was a souffle, she must be a double stuffed Oreo because she had gained weight during the stay-at-home-order. Her dad laughed at that, but her mom was very displeased and ended the Zoom call. Afterwards, my girlfriend told me that she was very disappointed in me, although I felt that I had to salvage my dignity in front of her parents. Things have been pretty awkward between us ever since then, so I'm wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

The remark she made was rude. So was yours. If the height comments bother you, the way to handle it is to say something and ask them to stop. Insulting her in return is completely counterproductive and everyone ends up angry and hurt.

I'm not sure calling your girlfriend fat is the best way to "salvage your dignity." ######


Prompt:
So my gf(18) and me(20) have been going out for 10 months now. It had been long distance with me going back home from uni to see her every 3 weeks and while it's been hard at times, we're both happy and it was working. Since lockdown has begun, we've been getting into stupid arguments multiple times a week, because one of us (more often her but I mess up too) will misinterpret what the other means by a message and it will get blown out of proportion. She considered breaking up with me at one point because one of these arguments got so heated and she can't deal with those as she is from an abusive background.

Here is where idk whether I'm TA or not. I have wanted to call her a lot due to the distance but she has always refused and never told me why not, just saying that she's an introvert, or that she doesn't like phone calls. We've called maybe 5 times so far and every single one was so enjoyable for both of us. One or both of us would comment how our cheeks hurt after calling or something along those lines. They were good.

I told her yesterday I need to hear her voice more, that we never argue when we can hear the other's voice(we've never had an argument face to face) and I think it would help the communication issue that we have. Everyone I've talked to has been shocked that we never call or have contact outside of texting. She said no, and after lots of pushing she said "it gives her so much anxiety she feels sick". This is the first time she's said this about calling and I'm so shocked she didn't mention it before that I'm not sure if it's true at all. WIBTA if I put my foot down and made her call me, or kept calling her until she picks up. I find it so hard without and we just seem like we'll drifting apart with some kind of change. ######

Response:
 ESH

So you think „putting your foot down“ is going to help her anxiety? You are not going to be able to resolve this by forcing something upon her that makes her uncomfortable. Consent is important in ALL areas of a relationship.

And she thinks your long distance relationship is going to last if she doesn’t make an effort to communicate her issues with you and just blocking you off?

You both have some serious reflections to do. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for the weird title, I wasn’t sure how to summarize my situation. I (24F) am getting married this October, providing corona is over by then. One of my bridesmaids is my friend/ cousin “Mila” (25F).

For whatever reason, Mila has been gaining a lot of weight over the past few months, and I’d estimate she’s up 30-40 pounds since last fall. We went dress shopping in October, and since I ended up picking a somewhat expensive eggplant velvet dress to match the autumn theme, I told my bridesmaids I’d pay (I’m pretty blessed financially, so I could afford it).

Now, Mila has broken it to me that she “grew out of” her dress and will need a new one. Unfortunately, the style is not available in plus sizes and would need to be custom made, if it’s possible to get at all. I already paid for her dress, and I think it’s inconsiderate for her to put on weight when she knows she won’t fit the dress. She’s honestly been really entitled in assuming I’ll just figure it out and replace her dress at my expense. Plus there’s the bullshit of calling a weight gain “growing out” of something, as if her own choices had nothing to do with it.

I texted her last week and told her my issues. I said that I really wanted her in the wedding, but the dress was presenting issues. I gently asked her to go back to the size she was last fall.

Well, she didn’t respond, but she has been vague-posting about “women who tear other women down” and anti bodyshaming stuff. So I’m pretty sure she’s mad.

What do I do? Was I wrong to even ask?” ######

Response:
 ESH

She shouldn't have just assumed that you could/should/would fork out for a brand new dress. You shouldn't assume she can lose that weight again by october, and you certainly shouldn't tell her to do so.

There are a couple of ways to handle this. Firstly, you could just explain that it's not in your budget so she would need to pay for the second dress. If she can't afford that she can drop out as an official bridesmaid and come as a guest.

Best thing to do is apologise for making comments about her weight, explain that you were just stressed because of the budget concerns, but remain firm that you won't be buying a second dress. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend has a female friend that I have never met for a series of real reasons and some of my own excuses. He is getting exasperated with me but I'm not sure how to tell him the truth as to why I don't want to meet  or whether I should just suck it up and give in.

The main issue I have is that she is a cocaine user who has children. The coke isn't the issue, I have used it socially in the past and have friends who still use sometimes. My issue is she is a single mother who uses several times a week in the house where her children are. She's either alone or with others also on coke. Basically no unintoxicated adults if anything happened. Sometimes there will be 8 or more coked up adults downstairs.  And she has an attitude of 'it's fine, kids are upstairs' etc. And because she's a single mum most of the times she suggests meeting require us going to her house, where there's a 50/50;chance drugs will be happening. It would feel strangely like enabling some thing I strongly disagree with just to be in the vicinity. Apart from that I don't really know how to go about meeting someone, where there is a pressure to get on all friendly, when I have so little respect for their actions.

Am I being stuck up and judgemental? I'm concerned that's how I am going to come across if I tell my boyfriend the truth as he seems nonplussed about the whole situation. ######

Response:
 ESH

She is an asshole for neglecting her kids to get high. You are also an asshole for being perfectly okay with this situation so long as you get to keep your distance.

When neglected kids wind up dead on tv, everyone always says "how could so many people have been aware and done nothing?"

This is how. They distance themselves so they can avoid seeing the problem. Stop pretending that you are avoiding this woman because of her kids. You are avoiding her because you don't want to feel bad about yourself for doing jack squat to help them. ######


Prompt:
Pretty much it. It was a big crowd waiting for a subway. When the subway came. She started cussing under her breath, telling people to move. Then she started shoving people away with her purse.

She started shoving me hard while mumbling smth and so I grabbed her purse and threw it behind her.

I wasn't trying to hurt her, I just got annoyed that she was acting like a princess on a busy day in the subway.

She wasn't schizophrenic or anything. She was just in a pissy mood.

Am I the Asshole? ######

Response:
 ESH

She acted like an asshole.

In return, you acted like an asshole.

Bunch of assholes here. ######


Prompt:
Additional info, her dad came around the car, asked what my problem was and I told him your daughter threw her glove on the ground and he said "What do you want me to do about it?". I was a little dumbfounded because I'd think the answer is pretty simple and just said "tell her to throw it away". He then started screaming about how "You're a real fucking tough guy, everybody's a fucking tough guy. What do you want me to fucking do about it?" (I repeated my answer everytime he did this while continuing to walk to my car). I didn't raise my voice and said nothing else just answered him everytime he screamed until I put my groceries away and drove away.

I'll admit I'm 100% guilty of the occasional drop the gum wrapper on the ground and hope no one sees it. I'm not proud of that, but I wouldn't call someone out on it. But just throwing gloves on the ground that you presumably are wearing to protect yourself from Covid just really rubbed me the wrong way, because those gloves are gonna have to get picked up by someone else at some point, and it'll probably be some poor grocery store worker.

Edit: changed "I'm to You're" as that's what he said (as in I'm the fucking tough guy not him) ######

Response:
 ESH

No trash can handy? Keep your trash until you get to one. I put my gum wrappers in my pocket until I can put them in a can where they belong. If my girl-pants can accommodate a gum wrapper, so can yours.

She's an asshole for throwing her gloves on the ground.

Her dad's an asshole for the parenting fail. Even if he didn't explicitly teach her to throw trash on the ground, he's allowing it to happen and not taking any steps to correct the behavior.

Edited to correct a typo. ######


Prompt:
I (f/18) woke up one morning covered in blood. This wasn’t a shock. I went to the bathroom, cleaned up a bit, and went on my day. Right before I left the bathroom I noticed some blood inside the toilet but I didn’t think anything of it—it was inside the toilet seat right?

A few minutes later my dad calls into my room inquiring if my “aunt” is in town.

I, immediately knowing where this is going, shortly respond with a “do you want me to clean it with a toilet brush?”

My dad gets upset and asks me why I think that is okay. I tell him I had flushed once, and there was some blood left over. He says he doesn’t care and that blood is not something  he should see. I bring up the fact that my father is a firm believer in the “if it’s yellow let it mellow” and NEVER flushes the toilet and that if he is worried about stains on the toilet bowl, blood doesn’t stain.

He then says that he won’t be made a bad guy of. I ask again if he’d prefer me to srub the toilet with a brush every time I go throughout the week. He did not respond, instead, he flushed the toilet and when he saw that there was still blood left over after the flush he turns to me and says
“If I see blood in that toilet or under the toilet seat again your grounded. So you should better scrub.”

Guys.....AITA?? ######

Response:
 ESH

Neither one of you should be leaving visible biological material in your obviously filthy bathroom. Yes, you are responsible for cleaning up your own blood. ######


Prompt:
So my brother Jared (28) had a birth defect that had cleared up by the time he was 2 years old. I had a stroke when I was fairly young and I'm still struggling with the aftermath 20 years later. Jared is 4 years older than me.

We got into a fight and things got very heated very fast. I told him that he didnt know what I was going through, he would never be able to live through what I've lived through, and that he wasn't aware when he was going through his birth defect so he can't possibly understand. He proceeded to tell me that he could've died in his infancy, which is well known by my family and my parents treat him like an angel because of that.
I told him "ok you might have died but you're alive, and at least you don't have to live with the consequences that your birth defect brought you" and he told me I was an asshole.

A few days later I'm talking to my parents and they tell me that what I said was wrong on so many levels and that I shouldnt have brought up Jared's birth defect, and that I should apologise for being so mean to Jared. I refuse to apologise until he acknowledges the difference between the way he lives his life versus the way I live mine.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

Life isn’t the trauma olympics. It doesn’t matter who has it worse and therefore there was no reason to bring up his defect.

Nobody ever truly knows what other people are going through and that’s okay. What matters is that we all have different experiences and are all able to support each other. It’s not okay to pull up other people’s issues then tell them that yours are worse. ######


Prompt:
(Throwaway because she knows my main)

Some background: I love my older sister more than just about anything. She practically raised me when my parents were too busy to do so, and I owe a lot of my personal accomplishments to her because she’s always been the one to push me. She is, however, incredibly competitive and likes being the center of attention which never really bothered me because I’m the exact opposite.

My sister (25F) has been dating her boyfriend (21M) for 2 years, and I (20F) have been with mine (23M) for 3. My sister has major baby fever and it’s all she really talks about anymore, which is fine with me but her boyfriend isn’t really in a position to have a kid right now. My boyfriend and I, on the other hand, are pretty set in our ways and could start actively trying to conceive right now if we wanted to. The problem is my sister has never been one to like “coming in second” to anyone or for anything. It’s always been presented to us that she would be the first to move out, get married, have kids, etc. and when I mentioned to my boyfriend that we’d have to wait until she hits all these milestones first, he was pretty upset. I said I at least wanted to give her two years before we have one, to which he vehemently disagreed and said it wasn’t her decision to make.

I’m torn because barring this whole virus thing, my boyfriend and I have a wonderful life together and great jobs that seem to be putting everything in place for us but I don’t want to upset my sister, especially because I know she won’t be as happy for me right now. I don’t want her to feel like I’m stepping on her toes or something. ######

Response:
 ESH

If your sister genuinely expects you to wait for these things until after she achieves them, then she obviously sucks. But the fact that you're even considering her in your choices tells me you're too immature to be taking those steps.

When you and your bf are ready to get engaged, get married, have a baby, buy a house, whatever - then do it. I don't blame your boyfriend for being mad at you. ######


Prompt:
So I (28m) am currently living with my GF (26f) of 2 years cause of quarantine and after the restrictions were lifted in the area, we decided to keep living together for a bit longer. I'm a personal trainer and a fitness model and my GF is a model.

So cause of the lockdown, my gf started following this weird Vegan girl. She does everything this chick does, from her diet and workout, which was fine, to nor shaving. I didnt like it but I decided to just stay silent about it. I'm a pretty vain guy and I like to keep myself as good looking as possible (I'm shallow, I know) so before you come at me... Yes, I also shave all over my body.

I was fine with it until she initiated sex. I told her, as nicely as possible, that I didn't find her body hair attractive so I passed on that. She started yelling at me with the whole "my body, my rules" and I told her I didn't force her to shave, I just didn't like the idea of it. I NEVER said anything bad about it btw, just that it wasnt my cup of tea. I then said if that rule applies to her, it applies to me too and I slept on the couch.

The next day I decided to go to my best friend's house, who's roommate was a tattoo artist (lockdown restrictions are lifted). I've been talking about getting a tattoo on my chest for the longest time but my gf always discouraged me and told me I'm not allowed to get one. I already have a half sleeve btw. I got a tattoo of a lion and I absolutely love it.

So I came home and my girlfriend saw it and went ballistic. She yelled at me for being an asshole and cried. She asked me "how could you do this to me?" And then I told her... My body, my rules. She stormed out and locked herself in the room and hasn't come out since.

I'm on the couch right now thinking about if I took it too far.

So Reddit... AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

I think you are both being kinda petty here. If you didn't like her not shaving to the extent that you lose your attraction to her when she doesn't I think thats something she needed to know before she wanted sex. Was really insensitive of you to leave it to that moment, she must have felt rejected.

On the other hand its up to you guys to decide what is and is not okay in your relationship. You should solve problems by talking things through. Should you be able to get a tattoo if you want one? I think so. Should you do it as a way to get back at your girlfriend? Probably not. I think this is a clear sign that you guys need to work on your communication! ######


Prompt: There's a backstory, basically a few days ago I redownloaded Skype and saw he reached out to me saying "I need to ask you something" I'm assuming it was just the only thing I haven't blocked him on and his only way to reach me. I replied even though I was several months late and he said he'd forgot the question he was gonna ask but we started being friendly and talking again, eventually he told me he had a girlfriend now, showed me photos of her, mind you this woman is probably 250 lbs, but I'm a nice person or I try my best to be and I was like oh she's pretty said I was happy for him etc. We continued to talk, didn't flirt at all but eventually he told me he still had feelings and I was like yeah maybe we shouldn't talk then and we stopped, fast forward a few hours and I got phone call from him, I picked up and his girlfriend began screaming at me calling me a whore and all this crap and then she hung up giving me no room to speak, I didn't even know she didn't like me until that point. He continued to text me after that and eventually said he still loved me so I reached out to her on Instagram and told her her boyfriend was confessing his feelings to me because I didn't want him cheating behind her back. Instead of accepting that she flipped out and called me a whore, trailor trash and many other things, I tried to be nice for multiple hours but she kept trashing me and eventually I just snapped I guess. I pointed out she was super insecure and she continuously said I needed to date better guys and I was like "ironic bc you're with the guy who cheated on me" and I went out and said a lot of rude things and eventually said "Good day, fat ass." She trashed me for multiple hours and I stood by and took it, I was merely trying to help her but I don't know if I'm the bad guy for going off on her. ######

Response:
 ESH

I cannot stand every type of person we have here.

He’s an ex who cheated on you, WTF are you Skyping him.

She’s dating him, WTF are you answering her calls.

Drop the drama, you look just as bad as the rest of them.

Also, word of advice, men who’ve previously cheated on you asking for you back is NOT a compliment or an achievement.

EDIT: I’ve seen your replies, YTA. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday, I was talking in a group chat and this one person who I would be friendly with started to text in homophobic slurs, saying 'all gays should be sent away' etc. These comments have been a recurring issue with this guy for years and he has seemed never to back down on them even after I and others condemn them.

Here's where it gets messy.

I sent the company he works for part-time an email asking them to have a conversation with him and included some screenshots of the slurs used. They fired him within hours. I didn't mean for him to get fired, only to have a conversation with him however I still have very little sympathy for him. He has texted back at me and is understandably very annoyed. Apparently, he had apologised to others but not me yet.  Am I the asshole?

&#x200B;

TLDR: Friend was homphobic so I emailed his employer who subsequently fired him. ######

Response:
 ESH

Him for obvious reasons.

You for doing something that you had no right to do, then act all shocked pikachu face when it blows up. Honestly, what the fuck did you expect to happen? They’d had a chat with him? They were his employer, not his parents.

Who the fuck contacts someone’s boss to ask them to have a word with someone about a personal matter not related to the job. That is just weird.

You must have known what you are doing. That was your motivation all along. I couldn’t imagine someone being that stupid. ######


Prompt:
My mother and I had a falling out earlier this year. She gave a bunch of my father's things to my sister's son even though my dad had said they would go to me when he passed! This is after I had asked her repeatedly for them too! She acknowledges both of these things but decided for whatever reason that he deserved them more. I was furious with her for doing this and even more upset when she refused to apologize or make it right. Until then we'd never had any problems and were on good terms. I was even closer to her than my father growing up. I told her I was done with her unless she apologized and asked for my father's things back. She refused to do either.

I had not planned to get my mother anything this year for mother's day since we're not longer speaking, but my wife had planned to get something for our children to give my mother, as we usually do. I told her that under no circumstances would I allow it this year or any year going forward, but she thinks I am being TA for extending my feud to our kids and "using them" to punish my mother. I disagree that that is what I am doing here. It is not about punishing her. It is us refusing to have contact with her. Even if I did not disagree, she is my mother and my family, and I am within my rights to decide what type of relationship our kids have with her until they are older.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

Her for giving away your dad's things despite knowing you wanted them and had asked for them.

You for using your kids as weapons in this fight with her, yes you are.

(Also, is it a normal thing for grandchildren to give grandparents gifts on mothers day? I literally never knew people do that.) ######


Prompt:
My wedding was a few months ago, and I deliberately didn't invite my uncle. He'd hit on my wife in a really weird way at a family event that year. (My wife and I are both women for the record)

And on my wedding day, there he is... I guess his brothers invited him along?

One of my friends is a total firecracker, she's brave as anything and not afraid to say what's on her mind. She and two other friends of mine were my bridesmaids and I was telling them about my uncle having shown up, before the ceremony.

She asked what I wanted them to do, they could kick him out, they could ignore him, or anything in between. I said that getting him out would be great. She asked if it would bother me if she drew attention to the whole mess. I said no.

So she marched right up to this guy in the pews and told him in front of everyone "get the fuck out, you weren't invited for a reason." And he asked what the matter was, what was going on, and she went "you fucking know what you did, get your creepy incestous ass out of here or me and OPs family is getting you out". My other bridesmaids walked over with her but didn't say anything

He left and I asked her later what the "incestous" comment was about, and she was like "Uhh he was trying to screw future family? Gross." And while I thought that was a little of an exaggeration I honestly put the whole thing out of my mind that day.

But apparently that caused a whole lot of gossip and speculation and shit in my family. Some of my family members are also upset my friend told my uncle that my family would kick him out, when they would not do that.

AITA for telling my friend she could kick my uninvited uncle out of the wedding? ######

Response:
 ESH

He sounds like a creep, but the way that this was handled was pretty over the top. ######


Prompt:
I (19F) am going into my second year of university, and I’m really excited to live in a new place with my 4 of my first year friends. I love all of them a lot and it’s going to be really great spending more time with them.

The layout of the apartment means there’s three fairly large rooms, and one which is perfectly nice but significantly smaller. One of them is reserved for K (20M) and H (19F), who are sharing a room, so it makes sense they would need one of the larger ones. I made it clear pretty early on the group chat that I’d really like to have one of the larger ones too - my financial situation isn’t great at the moment so it’s unlikely that i’ll be able to visit home until next year, because I need to stay in my uni city to work - the apartment kinda has to be my new home for the moment rather than just a place to stay during term time. I’m also rather prone to anxiety and I like my room to be sort of a sanctuary where I can escape to. To top it off, my friends stay over quite a bit to keep me company. Everyone seemed to be fine with this in the chat.

The tenancy started on the 1st of this month, so one of my friends G (20F) moved her stuff in right away (into one of the big rooms) but she’ll be going back home until October when term starts again. My other friend S (20M) is moving in today and he told me he’ll be taking the other big one. Of course he has just as much right to it as me, but he essentially only uses his room to sleep and often stays elsewhere at night, so it will probably be empty most of the time. He’s trying to convince me to take the other big room which will have K and H staying in it, but it would be really mean to lump them with the small room, since they have double the belongings.

I know it sounds really petty, but I’ve tried explaining these reasons to S and he still won’t budge. AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

Given that you all pay the same amount you all have the same rights for the bigger rooms. (Side question: The one who goes back home until October, do they still pay rent during that time?)

Neither do I think it's fair to make a run on the rooms and whoever has their luggage in first wins, nor do I think it's fair to just call dibs in a chat.

That's something you should have figured out before you moved in, either by throwing a dice (excluding the two who share a room) or by offering that the one with the small room pays less rent and hoping that someone takes that offer. ######


Prompt:
My daughter recently moved back in with us after her relationship with her husband ended following his discovery of an affair she was having with a co-worker.

Her husband is a good man, and I will be sorry to see him leaving our family. He did not deserve this. She admits as much, but I wanted him to know how sorry I was that things ended this way.

I have been very hard on my daughter since she moved in. As much as she claims to recognize her mistakes, I don't believe her. She is in shock right now because she got caught and lost both men, but she hasn't learned her lesson.

When I called her husband to apologize, I told her she was going to listen to the conversation because she needed to see the damage she had caused by her selfishness. I also wanted her to know how disgusted I was with her and how deeply ashamed I am of her and of her being my daughter. I told her husband that if given the choice I would rather keep someone like him in our family than my own daughter because of her behavior.

All of this had the effect I intended, but her mother things I was unnecessarily harsh with her and may do damage to our relationship. I told her mother that right now I was considering disowning her unless she showed some remorse and change quickly.

She needs tough love right now in my view and consequences. I don't think trying to accomplish either of those things makes me an asshole, but does it? ######

Response:
 ESH

Daughter is an asshole for cheating.

You're an asshole cause you seem bent on not just telling your daughter she screwed up, but rubbing her face in it.

Mom is right, and I feel bad for soon to be ex son in law. ######


Prompt:
I know the title sounds bad but hear me out.

First off, the baby is ok, he cried a lot when I dropped him but it wasn't a huge fall and he didn't land with his head.

I \[25M\] and my wife \[24F\] have a 2-month baby. Usually, during the night, I am the one that changes his diapers, while she goes to the sink to empty her breast a little so the baby doesn't drown. However, I sleep with earplugs so my wife just wakes me up to change him, no problem there. Last night though, she thought he didn't need his diaper changed but went to the sink and left the baby on top of me (that's how he sleeps, on top of her). I was sleeping and somehow I moved and the baby fell off the bed. She yelled a lot at me and I yelled back. Later when the baby was calm, a huge argument raised and now she isn't speaking to me. Her mom is also mad at me for dropping the baby. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH

Bedsharing with an infant is reckless, but on top of that you’re stone cold asleep with ear plugs???

You two are both assholes. The unsafe conditions led to you dropping the baby, completely unaware of his presence! You could have easily rolled and crushed him.

Get a bassinet and have the baby sleep in his own safe space *next to your bed*. At the very least, stop wearing earplugs when your infant is in the same bed! ######


Prompt:
There was a family reunion planned this month that got canceled for the obvious reasons, and that was where I was going to come out to my dad's side of the family. I don't care that much about coming out (I'm very privileged that I never had to guess if the important people in my life would love me regardless), and I wasn't going to make a speech or anything, just use it as a comeback when they make comments about how I don't have a boyfriend or want kids. They're much more conservative, so honestly that seemed to me the best way to go about it.

So in lieu of traveling cross state lines for the reunion, my dad asked me and my brother to come to his house for dinner with his wife. I don't know how much Dad's known about my identity (my mom knew I was gay before I did) as getting him to talk with me about anything deeper than what movies are good is akin to having a door slammed in my face. During dinner, the subject of my (sadly nonexistent) relationship comes up and since I was planning to anyway, officially tell him I'm into women. No one reacts much, and that's fine. I honestly didn't expect anything. I leave a few hours later.

My brother messages me later to tell me dad was unhappy with my news. He was quite upset, in fact. The only specific thing he would tell me was "dad's wife is going to set you up with the new guy in her office because that'll knock some sense into you." My brother won't confirm, but I really think my father is implying I just need to get laid, and that will "fix" me.

So I messaged my father saying that actually this is all his fault because he was a bad dad and a weak male role model, and also he could go to hell. He hasn't replied, but his wife keeps messaging me about how I'm an ungrateful, mean girl.

Did I choose a bad time to come out? I think maybe social dstancing is eating at all of us but I'm still upset.

tl;dr: I came out during a family dinner, and retaliated when it was implied I just needed to get laid. ######

Response:
 ESH.

You shouldn’t have gone to the house for dinner, for obvious reasons.
They can’t fix you with a dude.
You can’t really blame your dad for your sexuality.

I think they’ll take that as sooo she’s only into women to spite me which will try to amp up their efforts.

You could’ve just said, if they don’t like your preference that’s their issue and not yours. ######


Prompt:
I have four sons, ranging in age from twelve to five. My wife died four years ago and I've been dating my girlfriend for about five months now.

There have been multiple times now where one of my children have gone up to her, trying to show her something or asking to watch a television show with her or something along those lines, and she just rebuffs them. For an example, my ten year old is very interested in cooking, and so is my girlfriend, so I brought up then maybe watching a cooking show together or trying to cook something simple. Her response? "He's too young to be into cooking."

 My youngest is very hyperactive and has some learning issues. Recently, I taught him how to read a page in his favorite book and he tried to show my girlfriend because he was really proud of it. She refused to look at it and said "I don't want to see your stupid book."

A week ago, I took her aside and said that she wasn't attempting to make a connection with any of them, and we cannot move foward in our relationship if they didn't have a friendship of some sort. I said early on that she didn't have to be a mother, but she had to be nice and at least try and show some interest in them. She replied that "They were too immature to spend time with."

Let me make it clear that my two eldest are very mature and responsible for their age. My seven year old has his moments of immaturity and my youngest is hopeless in that area, but each and every one of them have tried to interact and every time, she refused and rebuffs.

But, apparently, my statement was harsh and she had been very cold and distant. She told me earlier that I had hurt her feelings by not seeing that she was making attempts to be their friend. ######

Response:
 ESH.

She is being *ridiculous* about the kids. Of course they're immature - they're kids! They're not supposed to be anything else! What kind of monster can't bring themselves to encourage a kid who's learning to read?

I don't know whether to be glad you're introducing her early, so that the incompatibility comes to light, or annoyed that you're introducing her so early, when you haven't even been dating her six months. Either way, you are trying too hard to make this all work, and it isn't going to. It appalls me that you have so many instances of her rebuffing the kids and you are still dating.

Break up! Move on! I want you to wind up with a nice children's librarian who really appreciates that one episode of Master Chef Junior where a kid sets a dishtowel on fire. I suppose it would be okay if you fell for someone in a different profession, who had different favorite cooking shows, but you definitely want someone who would be thrilled to watch something fun, or trade off some reading. ######


Prompt:
Context: Every year I like to get a portrait taken of my family in the summer and then hang them above my stairs since I love looking at them as I walk up and down the stairs ( looking at them really is the best part of my day lol). I told my kids ( I have 4) that even when they're adults , I would like them (with their kids and spouses) to take the photo with me , but I have always the rule that boyfriends and girlfriends don't count as family so they can't be in the portrait.

Conflict: my daughter Paige (24) is has a 5 year old son with a man who she has been off and on with since then (they have been  "solidly together" for the past 2 years). So I was texting with my family about when we can take the picture  and get our families together. This spurred Paige to ask me (she and her son live with me) if this year if we could include her boyfriend in the picture because he "feels" left out since she and their son are in the pictures but he's never been invited. I told her no because I don't want non married partners in it since they're not family. This is when she got nasty with me and said that wasn't fair to her and her partner because ""they don't believe in marriage"" so he'll be always be discluded and that I just have this arbitrary rule because I don't like them.  This may be where I become TA because at this point I got nasty with her back and said along the lines of t I had that rule to prevent her bringing a different guy every year into the photo (Paige has always been... Well... Promiscuous so to speak). This caused her to storm off and is now refusing to take the photo at all with her son.

This really grinds me gears because I let her and her son (my grandchild) live in my house rent free and she can't even do this one fucking thing for me without ruining it.

I just want to add that my other kids  didn't include their partners into the photo until marriage so it's not just for her.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH.

If he were her life partner and they lived together and didn’t believe in marriage that would be one thing.  If they were building a life together on their own, I’d say you’d be the AH.  Married or not, they’d be their own family.

You are the AH for shaming your daughter for the number of partners she’s had.  That’s her business and is NOT a reflection of who she is as a person.  That number isn’t indicative of her worth or value. ######


Prompt:
So, 2 weeks ago I started online school. I have 2 computers, a school provided one and my personal computer. I let him use my personal one, just for school. He asked for it a few minutes early, which is fine because I also started school a little earlier.

Apparently he was mad at me because I was cuddling one of my family's kittens while he wanted to play with it. So he decided a rational response was to try and 'make me lose karma on reddit'. He made up a easily faked revenge story and posted it on r/prorevenge. He failed, though. It got me 50 karma. I only found out because someone commented that you can't buy poison oak. I said sorry, deleted the post, and told my brother he is no longer allowed to use my computer. He had to use my mom's work Ipad, which she despises me for, he gets the screen nasty. Since there is no keyboard, he had trouble doing any assignment, causing him to get in trouble multiple times for not doing the assignment.

My parents have forced me to read 1 hour a day because of this, but that had backfired. That's another story though. Anyways, AITA for this or did he get what he deserved? ######

Response:
 ESH.

Are you honestly complaining about *having to read for an hour every night as a punishment*?  Fucking hell, how old are you? ######


Prompt:
So, my (22 F)  mom (55) is a very passive-aggressive person. She’s not a nice lady, so much so that if my dad (an amazing human being) wasn’t around, I’d write her off forever and not regret a second of the rest of my life. She makes snide and downright tasteless comments about everything in my life, but this time was about my weight. I know I’m over weight, but I’m so tired of her sh*t. She’s not any better than me, she’s been overweight and diabetic my whole life. Her mom died two years ago and had advanced Alzheimer’s. It runs in her family (I’m adopted).

A couple days ago, she said, “one day you’re going to get diabetes and die and I’m not going to feel bad for you.” It had been a long ass day, plus I’m quarantined with this lady, so I said, “Well, you’re going start to lose your mind one day and we’ll see who’s left to take care of you.” She kinda looked at me and left the room.

It’s been 3 days and she hasn’t talked to me. I feel like I may have crossed a line, but I also feel like she might have deserved it after all the soul-crushing stuff she’s said to me my whole life. I can and will list more stuff she’s said if y’all need more context to our relationship. AITA? ######

Response: ESH....but give it time, she'll eventually forget it ever happened ######


Prompt:
I (19F East Asian), was out at the pub with my mum and dad (both Caucasian, I'm an adoptee) a few months back. We were at a table for the 3 of us and dad left to get drinks. A young woman came over and asked if we were using the chair, I was on my phone so mum told her 'yes' and left it at that. The woman didn't leave so mum asked if she needed anything else and the woman said 'nobody is sitting there, let me take the chair'.

Mum tried to explain that our drinks were getting bought and the woman just got angry for us 'reserving seats' and called my mum difficult before saying "You don't have to be such a Karen".

My mum got upset at this and said she was just trying to explain. By now I put my phone away and I was irritated. The woman just kind of smiled at me then turned to my mum and called her Karen again and asked if she was willing to die on this hill for a chair.

I said her name's not 'Karen' to the woman who then said, well she's got the hair and the face - she looks like a Karen. I was really annoyed now cos my mum was upset and just pushed the chair toward the girl. And I said "Well you look like a Shaniqua with your hair and nails like that". She immediately got heated, not aggressive, but very insistent that my comment crossed a line, that hers wasn't racially motivated and she would never call me a ch\*nk or anything (she didn't actually use the word). I said if she can reduce my mum to a meme for her benefit just cos she's white, I could do the same thing. I also mentioned she seemed like the kind of person who would ABSOLUTELY call me a 'chink' if she could get something (like a chair) out of it.

Anyway - AITA? ######

Response: ESH... except your poor mom. ######


Prompt:
I recently just started going to the gym because I am unhappy with my weight. I’m working with a personal trainer and doing a program that requires I do meal preparation from a specific cookbook. I now have to prepare seperate lunch and dinner from my wife, who refuses to eat what I’m cooking. This means that I buy my own individual groceries, while my wife orders from those companies that deliver fresh meals in individual bags that you cook yourself. These bags take up almost the entire fridge. I rearranged the fridge, and gave myself a single shelf so that I could keep my groceries and meals in a single place.
When I told my wife I’d like her to leave that shelf for me she got really pissed at me, and called me selfish. She said she didn’t want to have to think about where she’s putting things in the fridge.
This blew over, but today I saw a new tub of butter sitting on my shelf. I thanked my wife for buying it for me. She acted surprised and said she just bought butter it wasn’t especially for me. I mentioned it was on my shelf and she’s said “I forgot.” This really pissed me off, especially after the big fight. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: ESH. Your wife for not being willing to compromise at all. You suck because I think the way you reacted was petty when she left the butter on the shelf. ######