Prompt:
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.

My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######

Response:
 NTA

Autism isn’t a pass to be an asshole or cruel to animals. ######


Prompt:
Hi everybody,

I live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.

Across the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the "Nachtruhe" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music/tv.

I myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my "Nachtruhe" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for >45 minutes).

I dont know any of them personally/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.

They now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).

&#x200B;

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

As you said, you would have let it go if it were just 10 minutes. As inconsiderate as they were, I guess 10 minutes isn’t that bad.

But there seemed to be no end in sight. They were preventing who knows how many people from sleeping. People who have to work in the morning.

Some laws just ask to be broken and people will look the other way... until you become obnoxious about it. ######


Prompt:
My mom is graduating from her PhD program. She’s been using a hand me down MacBook Air for over 5 years, and it’s basically falling apart at the seams. So as a surprise my bro and I got her a brand new MacBook Air.

My mom has a lot more money than me. She can easily buy herself a laptop but she doesn’t like to spend her money. The laptop was a big expense for me but it was a special time in her life, she genuinely needed it and I knew she wouldn’t get it for herself, so I didn’t mind.

Ever since the laptop arrived she’s done nothing but complain about it. It’s too slow (but every time I check it it works fine). The first few days she refused to even open the box to unpack it. She’s been saying she would rather have the money instead and joking (partially) that she would use it for Botox.

She’s been saying she wants me to return it or buy it from her bc I don’t have a computer. I got fed up and asked if she was sure and she said yes excitedly  thinking she’d get the money. I told her nope. That I needed that money. I told her to go to my brother for his portion of the money if she wanted but I have more important uses for the money.

I feel guilty because it is a gift and I feel If I could afford to I would just give her the money and brush it off. But I’m also hurt by her attitude. One time she was eating toast with the laptop on her lap and I told her to be careful to not get crumbs in the keyboard. Out of retaliation she purposely started breaking the bread apart over the computer. I’m willing to go out of my way for a need she genuinely has but I can’t afford to buy luxury items for her that she can easily shoulder the expense for.

She’s sulking at me now and said “you shouldn’t force things on me I don’t want.”

Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######

Response:
 NTA

And your mom is a very immature woman. Which goes to show you, education and maturity are 2 different things.

You did something nice and sometimes those gestures are wasted on the wrong people. This probably isn’t the first time you mom has shown you this behavior. So for future reference, ignore her behavior. It’s not a knock on you but on her. Get your money back and if you still want, though you aren’t obligated, get her a 100$ gift card or Groupon for botox at a decent clinic. ######


Prompt:
Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault.  The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.

My sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough.  I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work.  She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me.  Her biggest insult she always calls me is "divorce baby" and I hate it with a passion.  Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over.  I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.

Her birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down "happy birthday" and called it a day.  My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby.  She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

And she needs to take her anger out on her dad, the actual person that cheated. ######


Prompt:
So my bf 29 and I 25 have been together for about 5 years now. During these 5 years we had a brief breakup due to some immaturity on both ends towards the start of the relationship and infidelity on his end, however this was all worked on and we’re in a healthy relationship now.

Recently his sister had moved into the area from interstate and had been spending a lot of time in our house and specifically with my partner’s best friend who was at the time engaged. It came to our attention that she was sleeping with this friend of my BF’s despite him being engaged. My bf said it’s none of our business and I should ignore it but they were being so intimate so publicly, even inviting us out on ‘dates’ with the two of them where they were ridiculous with the PDA. I’m all for people being happy but what about the girl who’s being cheated on behind her back? I eventually privately messaged the girl and told her about the whole thing, which has angered everyone, especially my bf for interfering to the point where he almost asked me to take my thing and leave. Idk why I did it, maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before and it’s a touchy subject for me? Maybe I just couldn’t take the burden of knowing about this scandal? Am I an asshole for spilling the beans?

This is a pretty messy story and it’s hard to condense but I hope I can get an honest opinion from a neutral 3rd party. ######

Response:
 NTA

And quite frankly, I’d question your boyfriend about his morals. Not necessarily because he didn’t tell himself, but because he encouraged the relationship by going out on double dates and allowing it in his home. He obviously thinks cheating is ok, and has a history of doing it himself. Personally, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like that because the likelihood of him cheating again seems high since he encourages his friend to do it. ######


Prompt:
Title sounds kinda confusing. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m french, English isn’t first language.

So right now I’m(15F) living with my brother(27) and his boyfriend(24). It’s temporary tho, I’ll be back with my parents in 2 weeks. I’ve been with them for a week, everything was going great.

Yesterday I got up early and I was bored,  I thought I’d make something. I found easy mug brownie recipe so I made it. I found some powered sugar and there was a tiny bit left, so I sprinkled it on top of the brownie. As I was doing that my brother’s boyfriend walked in the kitchen and saw me. He got angry and asked me what I was doing. He told me that the sugar was expired and made me throw the brownie out. He told me that they were just keeping it because of memories because they got it while traveling. My brother was kinda mad too and told me that I should’ve asked him first before cooking something.

I haven’t apologized and I don’t think it’s my fault. They could’ve kept it anywhere other than kitchen if it’s just a decoration and not actually edible. ######

Response:
 NTA

A quick google search shows that powdered sugar doesn't expire and granulated sugar can last years.

The white powder might not have been sugar and that's why they are mad. Possibly drugs of some kind. It's good they stopped you if that's the case. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé proposed to me 3 days ago. We dated for 6 years previously.

To give you some insight as to why I’m upset, it’s because he’s RICH. Like owns a Rolls Royce and a mansion rich. Gucci belts and Chanel bags type rich. I didn’t know this when we initially started dating, he revealed it about 9 months into our relationship.

The ring is beautiful and I know that the ring says little about the quality of a marriage, But when he told me he got it from Etsy (I think) for only $140 after I had been gushing about it to everybody that would listen, I was really, really hurt.

He spent more on his dogs cage than my ring.

I feel like he doesn’t care about me, but when I let him know, he started accusing me of being a gold digger. His family is accusing me of being a gold digger.

I’m just really jarred because he previously had no qualms with spending money with me and I never took that for granted

I know I’m not entitled to his money and I was never with him for his money, but considering the extent to his wealth I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in my expectations. Am I? ######

Response:
 NTA

A lot of people are going to say you’re being shallow for not wanting an inexpensive ring but the ring represents a commitment and where his priorities are. If he was a frugal rich person I could understand but he’s obviously ok with designer labels and buying frivolous things. $140 ring off etsy feels like such an afterthought.

It doesn’t sound like you are demanding a $100k Tiffany diamond or anything unreasonable. If wanting a nice ring makes you a gold digger I think you need to evaluate what the rest of your life would be like with this man. ######


Prompt:
 so i've (17M) picked up casual gaming again, mostly just simulator games like animal crossing and the sims. recently i downloaded a mobile game called obey me! shall we date because i'd been seeing it a while from friends and i thought it looked pretty fun. it's an otome game where you are an exchange student to hell have the option to date demons. pretty fun.

&#x200B;

i have family link on my phone, so my mom has to approve apps that i download. i sent a request for obey me! shall we date and she approved it. i assumed she read through the game content and didn't have a problem with it. **however**, this was not the case. the next day she asked to talk to me and essentially berated me for wanting to date demons, and expressed that she was disappointed in me playing a game related to occult things. i tried to explain that it was just a game, but she's of the opinion that i will become demon possessed if i continue to play it.

&#x200B;

personally, i don't think it's that big of a deal. this game is one of the most fun games i've played in a while. it’s not r-rated. in any case, why would she approve the app if she had a problem with it ? i feel like it's unfair to say i can have it and then suddenly change her mind. ######

Response:
 NTA

1. You're 17, your mom shouldn't have to "approve" your apps. You're not 10.

2. I've played games of the Shall We Date series before and they're completely harmless. It's honestly crazy to think that you'd be possessed by a demon for playing a dating sim. ######


Prompt:
Due to her work schedule, my daughter's mom can only see her 4 hours a day through the week and on weekends. The past week alone, there were 4 times she was too busy/didn't have time to pick her up, reasons given were that stayed up all night drinking with her brother last weekend and slept til 5 the next day, had to spend the next day doing the errands she was supposed to do instead of sleeping, laundy, and a date.

I told her I didn't want to her it anymore, since she easily could have prioritized seeing our daughter, and she starts calling me an asshole and saying I don't understand what it's like to be a single mom, or how busy she is. (I'm also a single parent, for the record)

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

>slept til 5 the next day

5PM? ! You can drink 'all night' and be up by 10AM! Especially if you miss your daughter so much?! You gotta prioritize. Switch to water around 1AM or something, sheesh... ######


Prompt:
My mom asked me to post this to the 'asshole group' so here it is:

My youngest brother is wheelchair bound so my parents own a extended size accessible van. They had to pay a pretty good chunk of change for it and when it breaks down my brother is completely homebound until it's repaired.

The issue is that over time several people have asked to borrow the van. In the past people have asked to borrow it to drive groups of kids to summer camps or zoos, or other functions. Those times she said no.

Now, her best friend has asked her if she can borrow the van to go to a highschool graduation. Due to social distancing, the local highschool is doing a drive by graduation where they hand people their diploma through the window and announce their name on a loud speaker. Her friend's son is graduating so she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can "be together for graduation". My mom said that she thinks it's a bad idea because that would violate social distancing rules, but she is feeling bad and having second thoughts. She wants to know if she is TA ######

Response:
 NTA

>she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can "be together for graduation".

I, uh, don't think she understands why they're doing a drive by situation. Maybe you can explain it to her. Use short words. Maybe crayons. ######


Prompt:
This is so stupid I can’t believe I’m even asking but according to my daughter I’m the reason for her marital issues and I made her husband “tear up” So I was out of town overnight for my sister’s wedding. My wife didn’t attend because due to covid she could only have 15 people and my wife was understanding of that. I was supposed to come home in the morning but I decided to drive home and got there at about ten.

My daughter and SIL are staying with us while they get their shit together, and I don’t have much respect for him. For the most part I ignore him though I do ask sometimes if he has any job interviews scheduled and that apparently pisses him off. So I got him at night and my wife was in the shower and because I’m a terrible person I wanted to scare her. She’s so sexy I ended up in the shower with her, clothes and all, but I guess my daughter and SIL heard her screaming and came to check.

So I opened the door wearing my wet, admittedly expensive suit, and I guess that just set my SIL off. He started bitching about how I have so much and I take it for granted and I have no idea what he is going through. I told him I’m not responsible for his failures and I’ll fuck my wife in the shower anytime I want to.

According to my daughter I’m a bully for throwing his hardship in his face, but I’m not sure if I can take her at face value because she hates my wife, and the thought of me in the shower with my wife probably set her off. Well now the guy is sulking and ignoring me. So am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

>He started bitching about how I have so much and I take it for granted and I have no idea what he is going through. I told him I’m not responsible for his failures and I’ll fuck my wife in the shower anytime I want to.

Dude literally is living rent free in your house and has the audacity to lecture you on taking things for granted?!?!?

Lol does he see the irony in that? ######


Prompt:
AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology

So I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.

For clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.

I ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat

I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her

When we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.

I am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######

Response:
 NTA

>ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat

>I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her

She has a victim complex. You should not enable her. ######


Prompt:
Ever since my (28M) gym closed a few months ago, I've developed a pretty well-stocked home gym in my garage. The only problem is my garage is terribly lit, dim, and depressing. I've been working out with the door open for natural light, usually early in the mornings when nobody's out.

Yesterday I slept in pretty late, and only got to working out at 11. 15 minutes in, my neighbor who was doing gardening work across the street yelled over that I should "quit showing off"

I put on a tank top (I'd just been wearing leggings up to that point) and partially closed the garage door, but she sighed and shook her head on and off until she went inside.

AITA here? I was behind a bookshelf most of the time and I didn't think she'd see me. ######

Response:
 NTA

You are free to do what you please in your garage. Are you sure she wasn't joking? It sounds like something I'd jokingly say to a neighbor who was clearly more physically fit than me, and I'd have zero serious issue with them working out. In fact, If I jokingly said that and saw that the neighbor took it seriously I'd feel like a total asshole. ######


Prompt:
We dated 15 years ago and have remained friends this whole time. Over the years, his political view points have changed drastically from what they used to be. He's now very heavily right-wing, which is fine. It doesn't interfere with our friendship really at all. We just don't bother to argue about the things we disagree on.

Lately, his Facebook posts have very aggressively focused in on the subject of abortion. I think he needs to have more grace on the subject because he pushed me to get an abortion when I got pregnant by him as a teenager. I absolutely believe it was the best decision but at the time, I was so torn and scared and had no idea what I wanted to do and he pushed it.

Nowadays, he has absolutely no tolerance on the subject at all. He digs his heels in and says that anyone who would make that decision is a murderer - no matter what their circumstance is. I know that people grow up and change their views but he's just so extremely against things that he's benefitted from in the past. Another example is how adamantly he believes that state assistance programs need to be completely abolished... Even though those are the programs that fed, clothed, and housed him his entire life. It just rubs me the wrong way.

Anyway, he was berating people on this particular thread about what an abhorrent choice it was to terminate a pregnancy. Even belittling people on his thread who were sharing their own personal stories.

I ended up commenting something along the lines of "your comments here are really shocking considering the fact that you sang a very different tune when you got me pregnant as a teenager...."

He ended up deleting the whole thread and messaged me about how that was completely different and very personal and that I shouldn't be spewing his private history all over the place.

I apologized because it did feel wrong but now I'm wondering if I'm actually the asshole given how he was acting toward people who have made the same decision as himself.. ######

Response:
 NTA

“That was completely different” is the same excuse those whack jobs who are currently infringing on women’s rights use when their dirty laundry gets aired out about their mistresses aborting.

Your ex needed a reality check and you gave it to him. ######


Prompt: My (22 F) family is very religious, I am not but I respect it . I am the only child that still lives at home. We are not a close family but we do have weekly dinner’s where my other two siblings come to (25 M) (30F). My mother (65 F) uses this weekly dinner to insult me during her “prayers” before dinner. Think “Dear God please help us for SOME members of our family are cold and heartless” and “Dear God please help SOME of us for being evil”. I usually interject and say that a prayer is not the time to insult me. Then she says that’s what prayers are for and it’s rude to interrupt a prayer. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Have some fun with it.

When she insults you shout out *"amen Lord!"* Insert an occasional, *"mmm  hallelujah"* in there as well. If she gets really ornery, you can try speaking in tongues. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé has been jobless for almost an entire year now. I am currently working two jobs (roughly 65 hours a week) and am frequently exhausted when I get home. With our current situation, I have asked that she do most of the cleaning because I usually don’t have the time to do it properly and I don’t want to live in a pig sty.

I don’t ask her to do everything and I don’t ask her to clean up after me. I do my own dishes and what is in the sink while I’m doing my own, I take out the trash on my way out, and I do a load (or more) of laundry every day. I leave at 6am most mornings and don’t get home until around 7-8 every night.

With this being said, I’ve talk to her and ask her to do a few things here and there to get things together. She always argues with me that she shouldn’t be doing all the cleaning and normally I would agree. HOWEVER, she sits at home all day and does nothing but watch tv or play games while I am working my ass off to support the both of us until she can find a job! When she gets one I can loosen my hours so I’m not working so much and it will go back to equal amounts of chores. AITA??

Also for clarification, this isn’t some sexist bs, we are both female.

Tl;Dr my unemployed (not COVID-19 related) fiancée complains about having to do most of the cleaning while I’m working two jobs to support the both of us. ######

Response:
 NTA

Yeah seems like she’s a lazy gold digger looking for a free ride. My guess is that she’s more than found out how much of a doormat you’re willing to be. Not to be a dick but, dude, come on. ######


Prompt:
Just as the title says.

I have a family full of health-nut anti-vaxxers. My cousin in Australia just had a baby and is very vocal about the fact that she is not vaccinating. I am not immuno-compromised but I have many friends who are, and I feel like it's the right thing to do so as to not spread anything to people that I care about. I have my vaccinations, I am at very low risk, and I guess I'm feeling guilty because I am technically safe to meet her baby.  I felt very confident in my decision at first but now the backlash from my family has me second guessing myself. ######

Response:
 NTA

"Let's bring our unvaccinated newborn baby to meet new people during a global pandemic" ######


Prompt:
My Nephew (14) has been going through a rough patch. He’s continually acting out and getting in trouble. Both he and his mother decided they needed a break, and he’s staying with his father for the next month to go camping.
He keeps calling home to complain to his mom about his Father and stepmom over trivial matters (usually food). He’s also doing nothing but watching videos on his phone and used up all the data we had. It was the end of the month so it wasn’t a big deal, but I warned him not to use all of our shared data on our family plan (5 people share it) or I would have to suspend his phone until he gets back.
Well sure enough he used our entire data plan (6gb) in one night watching videos. So this morning I suspended his phone.
AITA for suspending the phone?(he can still use WiFi, and call his mom with his fathers phone. )
I know he’s homesick, and emotional. And that having his own phone allows him to feel a measure of control and relief. I could switch our old plan to unlimited for another $120 more a month, but I’m cheap and that seems ridiculous. ######

Response:
 NTA

*But*, the reasons you explained at the end for why he likes having his phone (emotional, homesick, measure of control) make me sympathise a tiny bit with the kid. Just a tiny bit. Is there a way to just turn data off on his phone? ######


Prompt:
For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy.

Alice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. They have a good home environment and are financially very well off. But recently Ben and after a while Alice was bitten by the urge to have a kid biologically related to them because they wanted a chance to "do things right" and "provide the best start in life" (their views, not mine).

So they asked me to be their (traditional) surrogate and said that they would cover all costs (legal, medical etc) associated with it. They would be also be paying off my student dent, renting a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years plus giving me a substantial amount of cash. I said sure - it'll be 9 months of my life in exchange for being set up for quite some time, and my immediate family thinks it is a great idea.

However, when I said "sure", I was expecting something along the lines of IUI, where we go to the doctor to get Bob's sperm prepped, me getting shots etc. basically the whole artificial insemination package.

But Alice & Bob have asked me to well, get pregnant the traditional way. Their rationale is that 1. it is the cheapest way 2. they don't want to go to the hospital now and 3. they think babies conceived naturally are healthier/the pregnancy would be safer without the chemicals, but I just can't get over the extreme ick factor. And even IF this was going to take place at home I think a syringe would work fine.

WIBTA if I went back on my word? Is their request reasonable? My immediate family doesn't see anything wrong with it and has been congratulating my sister on her impending baby. On the other hand, if I do give it up am I also mad for passing up what is essentially 200k, especially in this economy now? ######

Response:
 NTA

[Edited for visibility] IF YOU DON’T HAVE BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN YOU COULDN’T BE THEIR MEDICAL SURROGATE AND THATS WHY THEY’RE PUSHING FOR THIS.

It doesn’t sound like you have any biological children. The reason they want you do it this way is because you wouldn’t qualify as a surrogate without having carried at least one healthy pregnancy to term.

It has zero to to with chemicals/cost or any other bullshit. It’s because they couldn’t find a doctor who would be willing to knock you up under these circumstances.

Do not do this. There are a host of legal issues if you DIY this. That baby IS YOUR BABY at birth if you don’t go through an agency. You’re being conned. Your out is just telling everyone that you’re totally willing to do this but you’re not willing to have sex with your BIL/be turkey bast’ed. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek...

when this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy...

Last night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ######

Response:
 NTA

- he was basically harassing you, which is unacceptable

- you should've held out, but it's not really your fault that you didn't

- the sister is understandably upset about this whole situation

You should show your friends this post to explain what happened, if anyone asks. ######


Prompt:
So recently, our street has started sharing what more or less amounts to hobby gift baskets with eachother. It started as a "everyone's stircrazy, surprise, there's cookies on your doorstep." one-off, but because of reciprocation and a little bit of oneupsmanship, its become a weekly thing to get a basket from someone on the street, either fresh vegetables or jam or cookies(or in my case, wine. this is important for later). Out of roughly 20 homes, 9 or 10 of us take part in this gift swap.

This week, some homemade cherry wine(with cherries from the backyard) was what I dropped off everywhere. So about a case of free wine. The following day, I got a nastygram from one of the neighbors, explaining that "while the gift was appreciated, it was disappointing to not include something for her children."

Everyone got the same exact thing, a bottle of wine. This was clearly for the household, not for any one member of the house. Just "hey, thinking of the neighbors. have some wine." Talking to my next door neighbor, she says she can see where nastygram neighbor was coming from, I could have easily added some fresh cherries for the kids, but the email wasn't necessary.

I'm in the I'm not the asshole camp, obviously. Free wine is free wine. I don't have to go out of my way to tailor gifts to everyone. ######

Response:
 NTA /r/ChoosingBeggars

Who's the neighbour pulling that shit?

Don't gift them any more stuff.

Damn! ######


Prompt:
So I am due to have a baby in the next couple of weeks and my husband and I have opted to go the gender neutral route so that if in the instance we have a girl, we are not subjected to what I call the "pink vomit". The pink vomit is where people give you everything all shades of pink for the child, no other colours or choices. Some of our family and friends have attempted to outsmart us by saying that they will just wait until the baby gets her before purchasing gifts. I saw through that from a mile away.

I'm contemplating posting on Facebook that anyone who opted to give gifts after the birth, please refrain from giving anything in pink vomit form. I am aware that this may mean people may not give gifts period, and honestly that's fine with me. I'm just afraid that it might sound a bit bitchy and choosing beggarish. I just really don't want all pink. Just some variety. ######

Response: NTA (yet), but you could probably word your future Facebook post in a less aggressive way. It's understandable that you don't want everything to be pastel pink or baby blue, but instead of posting "NO BLUE, NO PINK" perhaps you could choose something like "gender-neutral colors preferred - gray or yellow would be wonderful!" That way it's implied that you don't want gendered clothing, but you don't come off as much of a choosing beggar. ######


Prompt:
- This is a throwaway. I am typing this on my tablet.

Me and my husband have two children, twins boy ( "Liam") and girl (" Molly") who are 10.

Our rules for giving them pocket money are:

- £10 is the start off.

- Any bad behaviour that is continued after a warning will mean £1 is deducted.

- For the 5 weekdays they will each have the oportunity to do 2 houshold tasks a day, each task rewards them with an extra £1 towards their pocket money. If they do 2 chores a day for every weekday, their total is £15.

- If for each weekday their room is tidy (no mess on floors, clothes and toys put away) then they get and extra £3 towards their weekly total. We let them know in advance if we feel their room is unclean so they have a chance to earn the money.

- If their bed is made each week day then they get an extra £2 for the total.

So if they do all of this their weekly total is £20. On the weekend any chore they do earns them a bonus £1 which is given to them right away.

We always set aside easy chores, and always give them a chance to say yes or no. We do not save better chores for either of them.

Liam's pocket money at most has been £14, the least he has ever been given is £6. We offer both of them a chance to earn back money they lost. Molly almost always gets £20 and will do a few bonus chores as well. Molly sometimes saves her money, the most she has saved it for is 5 weeks, Liam has had many arguments with me and his dad saying that we are picking favorites and giving her more money. She has more stuff than him but that is because she earned the money and saves it.

My MIL and FIL do not agree with mine and their sons ways. But we both believe we are doing nothing wrong, since there is no reason my son would not be able to do chores, and we always offer chores to him. AITA? ######

Response: NTA (which makes Liam technically TA; sorry Liam). This looks pretty equitable to me. He's still getting some pocket money, so it's not unnecessarily punitive, and it's a pretty valuable life lesson. I guess you could encourage him a little more, though. Molly might be naturally disciplined and industrious, and Liam might need a nudge. ######


Prompt:
So I (F20) currently share an apartment with my brother (M21). My boyfriend (M26) has been staying with me during the pandemic. I've had an apartment with my brother for two years and I'll be moving out in a few days. Over the course of the two years we've lived together, my parents have come up many times and have stayed the night. This wouldn't really bother me if they ever bothered to talk to me about it first. They always discuss coming over with my brother and I'll get told a few days before they arrive if I'm lucky (there have been multiple times I've figured out because my dad has called me telling me to get ready to pack their stuff up to my third floor apartment). At one point I had to start threatening to lock them out for hours until my brother came home to even get told a few days in advance again.
Now my boyfriend tries to get along with my family. Early on my parents decided they didn't like him based on my brother deciding he's "off-putting" before having a conversation with him. My brother had decided that because my boyfriend is the awkward quiet type and he's not usually very confident.
So everytime my parents come over, they expect my boyfriend to go somewhere else (which has caused a lot of unnecessary spending on hotels). Today, my brother and my parents decided they'd be coming up tomorrow and spending a few nights at my apartment and my brother told me that my boyfriend needs to find somewhere to stay while they're up here.
It should be noted that my boyfriend has never spent the night around my family and he wasn't very against staying time at hotels so he didn't have to listen to my dad tell us that he essentially can control what goes on in my apartment as my guarantor (I checked the lease and the law and he has 0 rights). But we don't want to spend more money than we have to since we're trying to start a life together.
So, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored my family and decided to keep my boyfriend with me at my apartment? ######

Response: NTA (but you’re parents and brother are). It’s your apartment, your parents can’t force your boyfriend out. Also your brother should be respectful of you guys, especially since you’re cohabitating ######


Prompt: I live in an apartment complex right next to a creek trail. I walk my dog on it almost every day. It’s really nice, except for the fact that my upstairs neighbor never picks up after her dog. I’ve seen her out the window neglecting to pick it up when her dog poops. It infuriated me because it makes the trail smelly and unpleasant. I know her dog’s size and shape of poop and I have stepped in it multiple times. Now, I might have cut her some slack if she was a nice person, but she is not. She glares at me when I walk by, and is overall very short-tempered. When I asked her about the shit once, she told me to fuck off. Not to mention the fact that she makes an ungodly amount of noise at 12am which often keeps me up. Basically, I had had enough. The next day, before her usual walk time, I made a bunch of little flags using sticks and paper, and put her dog’s name on them. Then, I walked down the trail and put a flag on each of the deposits. I watched from my window as she passed each shit, looking confused and angry. Later, I got a knock on my door, and opened it to find Pam, irate and saying that I had been immature and petty, which I admit I may have been. However, it was very satisfying to see her get what was coming to her. I know it wasn’t very nice, but do the ends justify the means? ######

Response: NTA (a pic would have been hilarious - poop flags might become a thing and take a place in reddit history...next to the poop knife...) ######


Prompt:
Me and my roommates just moved into a new place. We are musical people and people give away old pianos for free all the time on FB marketplace and apps like Letgo. We found one we liked and enlisted the help of a friend with a truck to go pick it up. I asked the person on the app if 1pm was okay to pick it up and she said yes and said her house was located across from a post office in a specific town and that she'd give me the address when I was getting close. No biggie, logical enough.

As we got closer I messaged several times to try and get the address. No response. We get to the post office and wait a while for a response but dont get one. We knock on some doors of the houses across the street and ask if they knew the person on the app but no one did. We waited almost an hour. The app gives a general location of the seller, which was about a mile from where the post office was, so we drive that direction and miraculously we see the piano from the street in the garage if a house. We pull into the driveway and I go knock on the door, but the house seems abandoned.

The neighbors approach and we say are there to pick up the piano and they say to go ahead and watch as we put it in the truck. We go home, with the piano, get it in the house and settle in. The seller messages me on Letgo at 6pm absolutely furious that we took it. 5 hours after the agreed upon time, for a free item you could see from the road. She was not happy we found the address without her giving it to us proclaiming we could have taken anything even after I explained that her neighbors were there and we wouldnt have taken it if no one was there. ######

Response: NTA ...seller sounds like another arrogant time waster. I'd have done the same. ######


Prompt:
My son(16M) was supposed to go to a vacation with his friends for a week. Me and my husband both agreed on it..but, yesterday I went down to our basement, I don’t really go down there, maybe once a year to get Christmas decorations and things like that. This time I decided to clean it because everything was incredibly dusty and unorganized.

I started cleaning and went through some drawers to throw out the unnecessary stuff. I opened one drawer and it was full of those vape things. There were 3 full drawers of it, probably more than 500 of those things. I was extremely angry and still am. I talked to my son,told him he was grounded and couldn’t go with his friends anymore. He’s currently ignoring me and not talking to me at all. My husband thinks that we should let him go and ground him later. ######

Response: NTA ...and having that many vapes means that he's most likely selling them to other teens that don't have the ability to get one themselves. - That's illegal and he could get into a lot more trouble other than being grounded for a week and losing vacation time with a friend. ######


Prompt:
For some background: I get free lunch at school and because of the situation i got sent a card in my name to purchase food. My sister is 21 and works.

Today i got a card in my name (addressed specifically to me not to my parents/ guardian). My mom was talking to my grandma and brought it up and told me to bring it. I got the card and my mom says “im gonna give it to her sister”. I didn’t say anything and waited until she was done.

I asked her why she was going to give it to my sister and she said so my sister can eat. I told her that because it was my card she wasn’t giving it to anyone. She proceeded to call me egotistical and take the card from me.

So AITA for not wanting my card given to my sister? ######

Response: NTA .. it's your card & your sister is working and 21. She's capable of feeding herself ######


Prompt:
My mother brought in a pet and over next 5 months we had it it was going good and I started to develop a small bond ( yeah it sounds cheesy) with the pet. All of a sudden he’s gone and she got rid of him and didn’t tell anyone. I just live in the house but I do everything for the cat, and she was mad at him I guess because he did things like climb tables and scratch things.

Am I in the wrong for feeling mad that she just got rid of him with no warning, no heads up and I don’t even know where? She is trying to reimburse me with the money I spent on food but I don’t even want that. ######

Response:
 NTA . Your mom is the asshole . that’s just wrong .

And she won’t tell you where she took him . Major jerk move ######


Prompt:
So it was my birthday on Friday and my mom gave me £50 because she didn’t know what to get me. So I spent it on clippers, toothbrush, new joggers, vitamin tablets and pumice stones to help get rid of dead skin due to me recently taking up jogging.

So when all my stuff arrived my mom went ape shit. She said “why don’t you buy some clothes instead of wearing the usual stuff you wear. You always look like a tramp.” (Consider were on lockdown and I’m lounging about the house in river island/top man clothes.) she said the clothes that I wear are crap (material often 100% cotton) and trampy. She heavily suggested I go on stores like Nike, Adidas etc where two shirts cost almost £50+ overall.

So I said “no, you gave me money to buy what I wanted for my birthday and I’ve done exactly that. I don’t care about your opinion on my clothes because you never fucking like what I buy anyways so either way I’m fucked.” Then she got even more upset at me. Like, I buy clothes from places where you can often get a pack of 4 t-shirts for £20. She expect me to get TWO FOR £50!!

Am I the asshole for not spending my birthday money as my mom intended? ######

Response: NTA . What is wrong with your mom? If she wants you to wear other clothes she can buy them. ######


Prompt:
My sister has always wanted to be a mother but when she was 16 she got told she wouldn’t have children biologically, I don’t know what’s medically wrong with her.

I always assumed she would adopt a little baby and she said the same.

She met her husband 6 years ago and they quickly decided to adopt.

I have a newborn, a 3y/o and a 12y/o.

Every year for the six weeks holiday some of my siblings and cousins send their kids to spend time on my farm, I own a big house with lots of animals and it’s nice for them to get some fresh air, most of these children are very young (think age 3-11) I also live closer to our mother which means the kids can see her.

My sister asked if her daughter could stay, since it isn’t happening till next year, I said sure and that’s that.

My sister introduced her daughter on a Skype call the other day and she isn’t what I expected, she’s 13

Apparently she suffers from autism, my sister said they don’t use “high functioning or low functioning” as told not to by her therapist.

I changed my mind because I don’t feel as though I’m prepared to look after her.

Now my sister is refusing to talk to me claiming I’m leaving her daughter out on purpose, they have a year and I’m just jumping the gun, I’m wondering AITA? I don’t think it’s a big deal, I mean they can still come visit me and I’ll visit them? I’d have my hands full and wouldn’t have time. ######

Response:
 NTA . It's a safety concern and you're worried you don't have the capacity to care for a special needs teen and a ton of other kids. Frankly, regardless of what her therapist says about labeling as  "high functioning or low functioning" - that doesn't' change the fact that there's a huge difference in a child who may be non verbal, violent, or may be easily overwhelmed with stimulation and may act out versus a child who has developed coping mechanisms and can express - with time or alternate methods - what they think and feel.

People are going to be quick to demonize you for being "ableist" because they're not thinking but feeling the situation here... Frankly - it boils down to liability and safety concerns. Like it or not people with autism do have special considerations. Add that to a large environment that may have heavy equipment, bodies of water, and animals who don't appreciate certain behaviors - it's a real risk.

Not to mention there will be other children there and it is going to be a mad house on top of that.

I'm not sure of exactly how that discussion went on with your sister, but honestly it wouldn't hurt to see what her daughter's circumstances and needs are - and invite your sister to come along with her daughter to help accommodate care.

It could even be the change in routine will upset her too and having something / someone familiar will help her.

Your sister has likely faced other situations or circumstances that've made her feel excluded or given her weird looks. People are rather tough on people with autism and their care takers. It could even be your sister is having second thoughts about the situation and this is manifesting as an "us versus them" mentality. I'm not sure what her support situation is like, but she's likely finding out the maternal  experience she anticipated isn't the reality --- this situation is just reminding her of that too.

Work with her and try to pick her brain. Be really clear this isn't because you're not welcoming your adoptive niece, you're just worried about potential dangers. I'd list out some specific things you're worried about such as her getting bitten / etc. If she understands where you're coming from - she may be more willing to help make accommodations with you. ######


Prompt:
I really like to crochet and knit, and it's best to have specific yarn scissors. Mine are really good and I love them, it's so satisfying to snip the yarn. Because they are made specifically for yarn, if you use them on other materials, like paper, cardboard, etc, it will damage and blunt them.

Me and my two brothers (who actively ensure they know nothing of fibercrafts) were sat watching a film together. I like to crochet while watching TV as it keeps my hands occupied, while my brother prefers to fiddle with whatever's around. My bag crochet equipment was on the sofa next to us, and he took my scissors out to fiddle with. I told him not to because they are very sharp and he could hurt someone or damage them. He gave them back and I put them in the bag.

Later on, I needed the loo so left the room. When I came back, he had taken the scissors out of the bag, and was cutting up a piece of cardboard (a tetley's tea box, if anyone's interested). I was really annoyed and told him to stop and give me my scissors. Even after me explaining that yarn scissors are not for cardboard or paper, he is adamant that he didn't do anything wrong. I think he's in the wrong because they're my scissors, I specifically asked him not to use them, the cardboard did not need cutting up, and him doing so damaged my property! Both my brothers think I'm overreacting and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is now winding me up by saying that he will use my scissors to cut some cardboard again. I just want him to apologise and not do it again! ######

Response:
 NTA !!I have fabric scissors at home and at work! People don’t realise these scissors are more sharp than ordinary ones and if you use them on things like paper or card you’re dulling them down to the point they won’t cut fabric properly! And while cutting fabric for pattern pieces blunt scissors can catch, pull and ruin said fabric if they aren’t sharp enough!

Plus they are usually more expensive than ordinary ones too.
However if it was just one off I’m sure they will be fine but I wouldn’t leave them unattended in the future if your stuff is out. ######


Prompt:
A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over.  I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents.  They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing.  But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores).  Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it.  As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine.  I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.

My sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it.  I get called a "stoner" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.

At dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like "I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh?  You drug addicted loser".  I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs.  (this is where I might be TA) I said "Oh yeah?  At least I didn't do this"  and then did the hand motions for snorting coke.  Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it.  She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.

Apparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her.  She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA , your sister is being hypocritical. She’s teasing you for “doing drugs” when the pen wasn’t in your possession (and it seems like you didn’t use it either) while she’s out here ACTUALLY doing drugs. ######


Prompt:
I (16f) have to take meds twice a day. I have “trained” my cat to remind me to take them by giving her a treat at the time I take my meds, and now she’ll start begging me for a treat at the time I take my meds, and it reminds me. My cat is not quiet when she reminds me. She’s rather loud, but not as loud as my sister’s dog, who barks into all hours of the night.

My sister (18f) keeps complaining that my cat keeps waking her up in the mornings with how loud she is. She keeps telling me to “shut the dumb cat up” and tells me that she’ll lock the cat outside next time she wakes her up. I told her she wasn’t going to do that, because the cat’s mine, first off, and second off, nobody complained about her dog. She got offended and tried starting a fight, while I just went straight to my parents.

I told them that my sister was trying to put the cat out, and complaining about the noise of my cat while her dog is loud as hell and nobody says anything. My parents (dad specifically) got mad and had a talk with my sister, which was more of an argument. They told her that no, she would not be putting my cat out, and that if she did, she could go ahead and find another place to live.

My sister came to me and got mad at me for going to our parents, and called me a snitch. She also told me that I should just take my meds at a different time so the cat will shut up, and I told her that I couldn’t.I told her I wasn’t going to shut my cat up for her convenience. She called me an inconsiderate brat and stopped talking to me. She keeps trying to lock my cat in a closet, though.

AITA for telling my sister I won’t shut up my cat? ######

Response: NTA , thats a super smart thing to teach your cat lol, im gonna try that ######


Prompt:
My friend is a vegan and has been for a while. Recently though she got a cat and is forcing her vegan diet on her cat. I tried telling her cats are carnivores and need meat in their diet. She said oh she will be fine being a vegan is. Better for your health anyways. I kept telling her that cats are not omnivores but she kept saying it was fine. Finally I snapped after seeing her cat getting weaker and weaker and said you're abusing your cat and I will take her from you if you dont start taking care of her properly.
AITA for saying I'd take her cat away ######

Response: NTA -the cat will definitely die with that diet. You can already see the cat getting weaker. Update us to let us know what happens and if you get the cat ######


Prompt:
Title makes it sound a little worse than it is, also I’m on mobile so forgive any errors.

So basically the story is that I found a cute floor-length skirt at goodwill on one of their half off days, it’s was way too big for me and a little damaged but I know how to sew so I bought it anyways as I loved the colors.

So after adding some pleats and removing some elastic that had gone bad from the waistband I wore it out with some friends. One of these friends (I’ll call her G for this story) complemented the skirt and asked where I got it and I explained and showed her the work I’d done to fix it up as I was proud of how it looked.

She got mad at me for this though and went on a whole rant about how I’m an awful person for stealing resources from goodwill that plus-sized people needed. And how “skinnies” like me were the reason plus sized people were stuck wearing “unattractive” clothes and that I shouldn’t take affordable plus sided clothing away from people who actually need it.

I hadn’t though if that when buying the skirt and now I feel extremely guilty about it and can’t bring myself to wear it out again. AITA for buying an oversized skirt I don’t need and resizing it? ######

Response: NTA -Good for you for upcycling something and ensuring it has a life not in the landfill. Your friend needs some counseling as she clearly has some issues to work through ######


Prompt:
I'm about to be 18, and I recently got busted and scolded by my mom for smoking and holding onto weed. I've moderately smoked joints maybe every few weeks since last May, I didn't let it affect my summer work and school performance. This was the first time I got busted, so I told her it was the first time I tried it to soften the situation, and it sorta worked.

My brother's been smoking weed with his cousins and friends since he was like 13, and now he's 29 with a girlfriend and three kids and still smokes just about every day. He can't even hold one damn job and makes his income off selling fresh-caught fish, EBT, and fighting chickens, no shit. Every time I see that guy he's got his bong on him or a ounce bag of buds. My mom's known about him smoking since he was 16, but now she doesn't really care.

Anyway, my mom told him about this, and when I saw him a few days later he was kind of miffed and started telling me no more smoking and asking me who I'm hanging with and all that. I told him that he was being a hypocrite here and that at least I can keep my use moderate, something he's never gotten down.

Then he just told me to get out of there, and so I just left, fuck it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA -but that said, your mom is the larger hypocrite here. Your brother seems concerned about change in your habits (though still a bit of hypocrite), he didn’t sound judgemental, just concerned ######


Prompt:
I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a "sleep till the last possible minute" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.

My husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running.

Sometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.

Today he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said "you're late" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future.

This is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ######

Response:
 NTA -

That is an adult responsible for his own actions. There are so many easy solutions, like go to bed earlier, get a different alarm, shower in a less cozy (ie colder) way, a puzzle alarm, etc.

It’s not your responsibility ######


Prompt:
I (20F) used to dress very conservatively, I had body issues (I was 11stone at 5’6/ or almost 70kg at 1.676metres) so not really overweight but I carried it all on my stomach, I was really self conscious.

I dropped to 9stone this year and while I still have my days of being unhappy and still think of losing weight, I love my body most of the time.

I’ve started wearing dresses too, I absolutely love crop tops but never had the confidence for that.

I always ask my boyfriend for opinions on clothes, I’ve never been the best at fashion and he’s better at picking outfits than I am.

When I showed him a certain crop top he said “You’ve gone from showing nothing to everything, do what you like but be ready to get comments”

I put it off, but while shopping in town today I decided fuck it and got it, I love it and I feel so confident in it.

Now he’s upset because I asked his opinion on it and went ahead and got it knowing he isn’t comfortable with it.

He says it’s about mutual respect and that I’ve made him pass up on clothes before (cyclist shorts that were very short)
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA -

At the end of the day it's your choice what to wear.  You can ask for his opinion and consider it, but ultimately it's your call.  Make some time to sit down and discuss the issue with him.  Communication is always the best solution to these kinds of problems.

Good luck!

EDIT:

After reading some of the comments from u/ThrowRa19282821 I have come to the conclusion that:

ESH - you BOTH should be able to wear what makes your comfortable within reason.  Don't be a hypocrite OP. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.

I don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even.

However, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ######

Response:
 NTA -

>he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it.

That's a ridiculous accusation is obviously not the case. If you're both taking the same medication and the same dosage, there's no "shuffling" required and nothing you would gain from stealing your daughter's medication.

I'm not sure what your history with her dad is, but this sounds like something that he's latching on to as some kind of "gotcha" that doesn't make any sense. ######


Prompt:
So my high school announced today how we are doing graduation this year with the virus, and the solution sucks. The solution is that over the course of a week all the graduating students will walk across the gym, grab their diploma from a table, and take a photo in their cap & gown. Each student will be the only one in the gym at a time, along with 4 family members, the photographer, and the principal. Students are spaced out in 10 minute intervals.

Graduation was originally going to be on my birthday so I was thinking that I do a birthday/graduation celebration then with just my family. Some of my friends have told me I'm wasting an opportunity to experience something "once in a lifetime" while other friends are telling me that I'm in the right to skip it because it's a terrible solution.

So, would I be the asshole for skipping this or no? ######

Response: NTA -- you might regret it later though.  It really sucks that you've lost all the traditional end of high school things, you're allowed to feel about it however you want. ######


Prompt:
His drinking seriously negatively affected our relationship in ways I can't explain without violating the rules here, but it got to a point where I no longer felt safe around him. I never want to see him again and I don't want to help "clear \[his\] conscience", which is what he wrote in the message asking if we could meet to talk. He says it *has* to be in person so he can look me in the eyes when he says it and it  *has* to be alone as in a public place but without anyone with me, so because me bringing someone would be "embarrassing" for him. I said I'd prefer to have my boyfriend with me and he said I was "rubbing it in \[his\] face" that I've found someone new.

My boyfriend says I shouldn't go, he doesn't trust it, and I'm inclined to agree, but several friends I still have from the time we were together have already met him and say he's a new man, and don't understand why I don't want to meet him, saying I'm being selfish and holding a grudge and I should let him apologise after nearly 3 years of self reflection on his end so we can both get closure and move forward.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA -- Trust your gut and your boyfriend. You owe your ex nothing, and his peace of mind is not your burden to carry. He hurt you a lot in the past and you have every right to not want to see him again. I'd be careful,

>so because me bringing someone would be "embarrassing" for him. I said I'd prefer to have my boyfriend with me and he said I was "rubbing it in [his] face" that I've found someone new.

☝ That's a big red flag to me. If he actually felt remorse he'd allow your boyfriend to come, as he would understand and should not expect you to be comfortable in his presence.

And if those friends open their mouths again to try and guilt trip you, tell them to stay out of your business.

Good luck! ######


Prompt:
The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I don’t pay rent or utilities, but I am completely financially independent of him and pay for my car/insurance, phone, groceries, etc. I was in a rough spot financially due to COVID but recently received backpay for the 15 weeks I was unemployed and it amounted to about $9500. When my dad found out, he was happy for me. Then he told me he wanted to charge me $600 in rent for July and August. I think this is unfair because I think housing agreements should be made before someone moves in and it just feels like my dad is trying to take advantage of me. I tried to explain this to says that it’s the least I can do for him.

tl;dr AITA for not wanting to pay my dad rent? ######

Response: NTA -- Tell him that you didn't know he was going to charge you rent, and that you're going to go live with your friend. Then he can do all the housework and take care of your siblings. ######


Prompt:
My sister’s dog has had cancer for about 3 years. It gets new tumours surgically removed every three months or so. A couple of weeks ago he was bleeding internally due to a tumour in his spleen. He lost his spleen and now needs a blood transfusion.

He is getting old for his breed and they don’t take great care of him (he’s not allowed inside the house). My sister is married with a child. My sister asked if I would donate my dogs blood to her dog. I said no, because there is a risk of the donor dog dying. I adore my dog, he is always with me, and I have no partner to keep me company.

The risk to my dog is really minimal and now my sister isn’t talking to me because I politely said no. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA -- she can't get mad when she doesn't let her dog with cancer IN THE HOUSE!!!! WTF??! ######


Prompt:
Pretty simple story.

I’ve told my(16M) sister(14F) several times to stop touching my stuff, yet she still does it. I’ve told my parents, yet they do nothing

Today I finally got to play my switch after a couple weeks. I had to study for school and a couple tests

It turns out that my sister has been using my game for weeks. She’s spent over a hundred and fifty hours playing it.

I got really pissed. She was once again using my stuff. So, I just deleted it. When I told her, she got super mad. She said I was being unfair.

I just told her that I did nothing wrong. All I did was use my game on my console. Nothing wrong there, is there? Then, my sister proceeds to tell my parents. I somehow got in trouble.

I feel like my parents are definitely being somewhat sexist or ageist. I’ve complained to them many times, and they do absolutely nothing, but when I handle it myself, they get mad.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Your stuff, your decisions. ######


Prompt: Right. So I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. My sister recently broke her leg and she’s continuously complained about how much crutches hurt. My dad’s solution to this was to tell my sister she can use my wheelchair. I’m not comfortable with this. My dads reasoning is that I just got out of the hospital and am mostly on bed rest (not completely, I’m just supposed to take things easy for a bit) so I ‘don’t really need it anyways’ but I kinda do need it whenever I have to get out of bed. My sister is perfectly capable of using crutches and honestly I think it’s kinda shitty that my dad is letting her use my chair even when I’m not using it. My dad keeps just saying that I’m not using my chair much anyways and so it doesn’t do any harm, but my sister keeps taking my chair and leaving it by her bed so I can’t get it, then screaming at me whenever I ask for it when I need to get up. My dad has also brought up the fact that he paid for the chair and rescued me (I’m adopted) so he gets to choose what to do with it. Honestly idk if I’m in the wrong for not sharing, but at the same time I think it’s kinda bs to be expected to share a piece of necessary medical equipment ######

Response:
 NTA - your situation is permanent and you need the chair for mobility. Your sister's situation is temporary and given the state of the world, she's probably not really going a lot of places that aren't home.

It does not reflect well that your father is lording your adoption over you as though you owe something for being a part of the family. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I have been in a tense argument. She has constantly been asking my parents for money and support and my parents have been helping her. But my parents don't have much money and their retirement accounts are already down a lot of money.

&#x200B;

My sister has constantly dated shitty guys. Guys that weren't employed, guys that sold weed, no guys that ever had a steady employment. Lots of guys with anger issues, it was her type she liked bad boys/thugs etc whatever word you want to use.

&#x200B;

She has now 2 children from two different marriages. She gets a lot of support from government programs but she still falls short time to time. I have seen her constantly come to my parents for money. I talked to my parents and told them that they can't keep enabling her.

&#x200B;

My sister confronted me called me a POS that I have no idea how difficult life is for her, that she can barely make ends meet and that her job already cut her hours. I told her that lots of this situation is her fault. That she can be unlucky with one two, or even three guys she dated but all of the guys she dated have been scumbags and she needs to look to herself. She then tells me that I should be mad at the guys who abandoned their children not the hard working mom looking after them. I told her that its on her to be responsible for her own life and not have chosen these guys in the first place. ######

Response: NTA - Your sisters poor choices are the reason why she is in her current situation. Lack of contraception and poor choice in men has most likely led to her situation being where it's at now. You are not the asshole for telling her it's her responsibility. ######


Prompt:
I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.

Am I the asshole for being angry at my sister?

I apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ######

Response: NTA - your sister knows you have left an abusive situation and her blabbing could cause safety issues for you. ######


Prompt:
A year ago, my grandfather passed away. He was the family patriarch and it was hard on all of us, but especially myself and my sister who he pretty much raised after our father passed.

At the funeral, I was most focused on my mom, my sister and making sure everything went as planned. I guess my sister noticed what people wore. A lot of people showed up and a few did show up in jeans. Others wore sneakers. My grandfather would not have cared. He went to church every Sunday and dressed up for grandma, but then changed as soon as we left service. Is it appropriate funeral attire? No. But it wasn’t like they wore bright colors or disrupted the service in my opinion. To my sister, it did and she feels it was the epitome of disrespect to not wear slacks and dress shoes. Everyone who went probably had nice clothes in their closet, but maybe didn’t want to wear them. Maybe they thought they were paying homage to Grandpa. I don’t know. Some are family members, some family friends.

But a year later and my sister is still pissed. She won’t talk to these family members and when before lockdown, we had my daughter’s communion. She refused to talk to these people. Recently, she went on a rant about it again. I told her she needed to get over it. She told me I was as insensitive as them and hung up. I wore a dress and stockings!

Am I being an ass by thinking she needs to let it go and that it’s no big deal? ######

Response: NTA - Your sister is putting way too much stock in what people wear. ######


Prompt:
First time posting here so forgive any improper etiquette. About a week ago my sister and her 8 year old son came over for lunch. I have a very good relationship with her and my nephew, so they come over here quite often. Lately He's been getting into Star Wars, which I think is great because I'm a huge Star Wars fan. Throughout the past few weeks I've made sure to keep him interested, and usually have a Star Wars themed gift for him when they come over. For this particular visit, I had bought him a Star Wars Lego set. Not a particularly big one, but nonetheless with Lego's prices it was still $50. Anyway, my sister and I are talking at the table while he's building the Lego set in the living room. He runs back to the table incredibly excited and barely speaking coherently. By the time we stand up from the table he's already ran to my bedroom. (I usually keep the door closed but I guess I forgot) When we get there he's jumping up and down and pointing at my lightsaber that's hanging on the wall. Naturally he then proceeds to ask, "Can I see it?" Even I play with it sometimes so I can see how an eight year old couldn't resist. I tell him no and then go to steer him out of my bedroom when my sister asks "Why can't he play with it?" I try to explain to her that it's very expensive, at which point she asks how much. When I reluctantly tell her that it cost me $825 she looks appalled, but still insists that he would be careful and wouldn't break it. At this point she's rather upset and we get in an argument because "I don't want to share my toys". They both left shortly after that. We're not really fighting anymore, but she's still very much annoyed and thinks that I'm wrong to not let her son play with my lightsaber regardless of how much it costs. AITA?

[This is the lightsaber in question](https://vadersvault.com/the-revanchist/) ######

Response:
 NTA - your sister didn't have the right to force you to let your nephew play with it. Some things are off limits and mostly, kids are pretty good at understanding and appreciating that, so she should have backed you on it. Hopefully she realises and apologises!

Also: wicked cool light saber op ######


Prompt:
I have been living with my roomate for 6 months and shes asian, I'm not. I have one spoon that I got from a Asian market (it's the Japanese style deep spoon for soup). I freaken LOVE soup and use that spoon all the time, I've had it for a good year now and I have just the one. My roomate has been using my spoon nonstop for herself and NEVER cleans it. I dont mind sharing but shes starting to use it more often now since we have been stuck inside, I've been making a lot of miso soup and she keeps taking the spoon. I brought it up a couple days ago that its my spoon and I should be able to have first choice to use it when I make soups. She got kinda mad about it and told me that I shouldn't even be using that spoon because I'm not asian ??? Like I didn't know that I had to be asian to use a certain type of silverware. I told her that I would be happy to buy her one so she could stop using mine and this made her more upset for some reason. The conversation went along the lines of "it's my spoon, you never clean it , we have plenty of other spoons!" I let her use my spoon that night but after whe went to bed, I washed it and put the spoon in my room. The next day she was looking for it and asked me where it was and I told her I put it away so she cant use it anymore. She called me a asshole and hasn't talked to me since. So AITA?

TLDR: My roomate kept using my soup spoon and would hardly let me use it and never cleaned it so I hid it in my room, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - your roommate needs to respect your belongings and she isn’t. You get to decide where to keep your personal effects and you do not owe her any explanation. ######


Prompt: I am 13 and live in a family of dedicated christians. I don't believe in any religion, but I still am forced to go to church, fast, pay tithing, and go to a christian school. My parents say that if I don't believe in christ , I can't live with them. I once asked to skip church, and my parents grounded me for a week. I've actually started to hate this religion, because my parents are forcing it onto me. Who is in the wrong here? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your parents suck. Threatening to kick you out is cruel. Grounding you for not going to church with them is pointless. Now, it’s one thing to support going to church as a family, that was always a rule growing up for me. But to actively punish is counterproductive.

If they move beyond what they’re currently doing, like, withholding food or actually kicking you out or beating you - you should contact CPS/the authorities/an adult you trust.

Source: Religious Lutheran ######


Prompt:
My mom asked me to post this to the 'asshole group' so here it is:

My youngest brother is wheelchair bound so my parents own a extended size accessible van. They had to pay a pretty good chunk of change for it and when it breaks down my brother is completely homebound until it's repaired.

The issue is that over time several people have asked to borrow the van. In the past people have asked to borrow it to drive groups of kids to summer camps or zoos, or other functions. Those times she said no.

Now, her best friend has asked her if she can borrow the van to go to a highschool graduation. Due to social distancing, the local highschool is doing a drive by graduation where they hand people their diploma through the window and announce their name on a loud speaker. Her friend's son is graduating so she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can "be together for graduation". My mom said that she thinks it's a bad idea because that would violate social distancing rules, but she is feeling bad and having second thoughts. She wants to know if she is TA ######

Response:
 NTA - your mum is just obeying the law and she also is the owner of the van so can do whatever she wants with it.

Did the friend even offer to completely sanitise the van at her own cost after using it? ######


Prompt:
I'm 15 and thus still live with my parents.

I have various mental health problems (DID, psychotic hallucinations, depression, etc.) that my mom connects (for some reason) to my phone. Around 2 months ago, was grounded and not allowed to use my phone for a month. During this time, I was numb. I wasn't feeling any emotion- good or bad. My mom just focused on how I wasn't feeling bad and kept giving me these talks: "Oh, you're so much happier without your phone! Oh, you're not switching without your phone! Oh, you're not hallucinating without your phone!"

I was. I still am. In fact, being without my phone made my hallucinations worse. It made the inner world (where the parts are when they aren't fronting) worse. I just didn't tell her, because I was numb.

When I got my phone back, I was happier and I started opening up again. As soon as I started opening up about switching and hallucinating again, she pulled me aside and told me "When you didn't have your phone, you weren't showing these symptoms. I'm not saying you're faking, I'm just saying I can't ignore the signs."

So I closed off again.

Whenever I try to talk to her about anything, it turns into a lecture and I get a consequence. She was asking me if I wanted to watch Saving Private Ryan and I said I shouldn't due to the nightmare I had the night before. She took my phone away immediately.

So I closed off again.

AITA for not telling her anything anymore? ######

Response: NTA - Your mum clearly doesn't understand what triggers your mental health and finds it easier to blame on your phone which sucks. Is there anyone else you can talk to? ######


Prompt:
Last year me (34m) and my wife (31f) visited her family in South Africa, as we live in the UK but try and her family visit annually. This time I took hundreds of photos with my new camera as where her family lives is beautiful, but i only had one micro sd card with me as my old camera took the bigger sd cards. So after a few days i needed another micro sd card, her mother give me a handful of micro sd cards that have been rattling in her kitchen draw for ages.

This years trip to see her family is cancelled due to Covid Virus, i thought it would be nice to go through all the photos from last years visit and put her family ones on are digital photo frame. One sd cards her mother had give me was full (24GB) of nude/sexual photos of my wife's mother with a few different men.

I wasn't sure what to do, i didn't tell my wife as i didn't think she would want to know/see her mother is that way. I messaged her mother to ask her if i should wipe the SD card or send it back to her. Her mother wanted the SD card back so popped it in the mail back to her mother.

Yesterday my wife found out from her mother's friend (how or why i don't know)and went nuts with me. My wife says i should have told her or just deleted them and said nothing. My defense is what if the photos although they were sexual met a lot to her mother or what if her mother was worried the photos might fall into the wrong hands.

AITA for not deleting the mother inlaw's nudes and not telling my wife i sent them back to her mother ? ######

Response: NTA - Your mother-in-law is entitled to her privacy and her sexual life without her children's interference. ######


Prompt:
You've probably seen these books.  But it's what it says: a book that is hollowed out to hold something, like an engagement ring, weed, money, etc.

When I was sixteen (I'm twenty-five now), my mom gave me this book called 'The Care and Keeping of Husbands', a self-help book.  Yes, my mom is super conservative and into family values and thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, etc.  And yes she thought this was a good idea for a sixteenth birthday present when my friends were getting cars or nice jewelry or designer bags.

Sometime later, I found tutorial on how to make a "secret compartment book" and decided to use that "Care and Keeping of Husbands" book as a guinea pig.  It didn't work, so I hid the mangled book in my backpack so I could dispose it at school.  Well, my mom found it while snooping through my backpack, freaked out, and proceeded to ground me for the next month.

We don't talk to each other anymore, but when we did she always brought up how I am an asshole for ruining her birthday present to me and how that book will help me make my future husband happy.

Which would be fine and dandy, but I literally had no other use for that book:  I'm asexual and I have no interest getting a husband ever.

But it does boil down to this: AITA for "ruining" my mom's birthday present to me? ######

Response: NTA - Your mother is for trying to force her view of the world and gender norms onto you, not to mention the breach of privacy by going through your backpack. I applaud you for having found a creative use for such a useless present, even if it didn't work out. ######


Prompt:
We were on a zoom conference with the educational board because they’re trying to make major budget cuts to the music programs when cutting the music budget would only exacerbate the issue. We were both using our own computers.

A parent was being ignorant by saying that the zero period was unappreciated and should be removed because it hurts students. I am a cult follower of the zero period because it enables me to do all of the electives that I want to do without cutting a language. My mom knows this and wanted me to reply to the ignorant parents comment.

My mom started dictating the message to me and it physically made me cringe. It compared the music program to a “rich, flavorful, nutritious meal” and it compared other departments to “greasy fast food”. I didn’t want that message to come from my computer because I didn’t want that on the internet under my name for 200 of my piers to see.

I told her no.

She yelled for a bit about how I was infringing on her speech. I asked her why she couldn’t write the comment from her computer and she said she needed the comment to be from a student in order for it to be more powerful.

After maybe an hour of silence, she wanted to talk again. Her opinion was that I was infringing on her sovereignty by telling her no, and my opinion is that she infringed on my sovereignty by attempting to tell me what I should say.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your mom needs to slow her role kno this instance. You are in no way infringing on her right to speak, and it is a manipulation tactic she's attempting to use on you. Furthermore, her way of approaching this is dishonest as she isn't writing it herself.

Stand your ground. I think it's admirable that your standing up to your mom. Use your voice and advocate for yourself. ######


Prompt:
I (19m) ordered a gift for my mom online a couple days ago. Knowing she loves this brand Rituals (a shower gel and beauty kind of thing), i got her a gift box with multiple items in it. Now the website i ordered this on had this gift box listed under "mother's day gift ideas". Without any second thoughts i ordered it thinking she would love it.

Now this gift box arrived the day before mother's day and when it got here i noticed that it looked quite masculine, it had shaving cream in it and the name of the scent was something with a samurai or something. I looked it up and it was actually for men. I felt stupid because it was too late to return it.

I decided to just give it to my mom and explain the situation, i told her she could smell the soaps (without actually taking any soap out of the container) to see if she liked the scents regardless and if not i could return it and she could pick another set. She then opened the soap container, at this point i couldn't return it, and then she posted a picture of it on Facebook making fun of me. She commented "the point of having three kids is that if one of them gets you a bad mother's day gift, the other two can still fix it". Obviously this made me feel upset because I didn't know when I ordered it and i was the only one of her kids to buy her a gift.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Your mom is, forgive me for saying, a cow. You explained the situation and if she had waited you would have got the correct gift. ######


Prompt:
My parents wanted me to become a doctor since I was a kid. Even though I had always made it very obvious that I'm not interested at all in studying medicine. I want to study business administration.

I finished high school this year, and have to choose between what career path to choose. My parents died in a car accident over a month ago, and now my family is pressuring me to fulfill their wish.

I've been told that I'm a narcissist, and that I'm self-centered, egoistic and insensitive for not considering their wishes for my future since their death.

AITA for still wanting to pursue the career path that I chose for myself? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your life is yours to follow. No one, absolutely no one, not even your parents, have the right to tell you what career you should follow. Hold firm OP, emotions are high right now but you can't cave.

People will just have to accept it, and if they don't - fuck em.

Sorry for your loss. ######


Prompt:
Bit of info - My children see my mother in law a handful of times a year. She lives in a village an hour or 2 bus ride away depending which on route you take. She doesnt come to ours even though she has a lodger who drives her other places and tbh shes a little flaky when we make plans so we just go to hers when we are able to.

I call and facetime her atleast once a week so the kids can keep a good relationship with her but as you can probably tell already it's very much one sided but I do it because my kids have a great relationship with my side and I want the same with them and her.

The issue - mother in law called yesterday and asked if we had plans to go round when lockdown is over as she has something for the kids. I told her as soon as we can we will be over when its allowed. She asked to speak to the kids and told them the surprise. She had gotten a dog!

2/3 were excited the middle one just burst into tears.  The middle one is severely allergic to animals with fur. I'm talking 2/3 x meds a day, and has to carry an epi pen where ever she goes allergic.

Mother in law knows this and just shrugs and says oh well I guess the other 2 will just have to come and she stays at home.

I told my husband that I'm sorry but none of the children will be going as it's not fair on middle, they will be be bringing fur into the house when they return and that I think his mother did it on purpose as the other 2 always says about how they would love a dog but cant because of middle  whenever she asks why we dont have a dog like other families.

Husband thinks ITA because I'm stopping her seeing all kids over one thing but to me it's a big thing as it's dangerous to middle and she knew that.

So WIBTA if I stopped visits? ######

Response:
 NTA - your husband is shrugging his shoulders that your mother in law bought something (a dog!!! No less) that could kill his middle child?

Yeah, no. No visits for MIL and I’m seriously side eyeing your husband like 😒😒😒 ######


Prompt:
I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit).

Due to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair??

I am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said "I'll do something about it." Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.

It's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ######

Response: Nta - your hair, simple ######


Prompt:
For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22

It’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”

He absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway”

He is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.

Well, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.

I’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone.

Well, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt”

I try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.

His friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.

A couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.

Now he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.

Was it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ######

Response: NTA - your guy has anger issues and he's over here throwing tantrums like a 5 year old because he didn't win a game. Don't give him any attention when he's like this. Don't try to calm him down. He needs to get some therapy and/or grow the fuck up. ######