Prompt:
I pay the internet bill for my household. My internet company lets me sort every Wifi- connected device we have into different profiles. My brother, sister and I each have our own profiles that I can set time limits on. Since we’ve been stuck in the house more than usual these past few months I have set time a daily time limit of 5 hours for each of us so that I don’t have to pay the crazy data overage fees. My sister and I mostly just stream a couple episodes of a show or a movie each day so we never meet our time limits but my brother has had a really hard time with it since he basically spends his entire day gaming and meets the time limit pretty early on in the day. He has asked me to extend his time limit several times so I made a deal with him that he has to clean the shared bathroom twice a week (sundays and thursdays) and I’ll extend his daily time limit to 7 hours. (For reference, my brother doesn’t help clean the house at all - and he leaves the bathroom in a disgusting state almost every time he uses it)
He agreed to the deal and did well for a week but he didn’t clean the bathroom this past sunday so I took his hours back down to 5. He ended up cleaning the bathroom today and asked me to go back up to 7 but I told him I would keep it at 5 until thursday when he can clean the bathroom again to work back up to 7, as per our deal. He is furious with me, saying that I’m being completely unfair and I heard him yelling in his room, throwing things around and slamming doors. I told him that if he kept behaving this way I would keep him at 5 hours indefinitely. I feel like my brother’s reaction is not appropriate at all and I’m thinking about adding on more chores in order for him to earn the 7 hours. Am I being a total asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA

I mean, you wrote it very well to make it look like you are super reasonable, but you are not.

You pay ONE bill in the house, likely one if the cheapest.  You then decided that since you pay that bill, the internet now in some way belongs to you, and you get to decide what is appropriate for it's use.

Funny how you watching TV and movies is somehow a noble deed, but playing video games is bad behavior that needs to be moderated.

If I were your brother, I would quickly find SOMETHING to pay for that you need, and then hold that over your head.

The real assholes here are your parents, who are apparently so proud of their child for paying a bill that they allow him to act like an adult, even though it is obvious that he is not ######


Prompt:
I have two daughters from a previous marriage, a 6 year old and a 4 year old. Their mother and I separated when my oldest was 2. I don’t see them very often because I work a lot so I get them about once or twice a month from Friday to Saturday.

Recently their mother remarried and the girls live with them and their half brother and she just announced they were expecting. My youngest daughter had a birthday this week so I’m having her a birthday party today. And my oldest seems distant.

My oldest was sitting with me and told me that she missed her “other daddy” and that he had bought them a kitchen set and built them a play house in the backyard and she wanted to go home to play in it. She then told me she had just been helping him build a duck house and that they were going to go pick out two ducklings to bring home when she got back and she wanted to go home.

My youngest daughter calls him by his name but the oldest calls him Daddy 2. It really hurt hearing how she missed this other man and wanted to go home and not spend time with me. WIBTA if I told her she can’t call him Daddy because I’m her daddy and she can call him by his name like her sister does? ######

Response:
 YTA

I know it hurts, and I'm sorry bud, but it's not your choice. This isn't about you, it's about that kid and her happiness. Don't be the asshole who fucks that up for her. ######


Prompt:
Some background first. My sister is a lesbian. She was closeted for most of her life and ended marrying and divorcing a man. She lived a lie for a long time and it messed her up. My son (14M) came out as gay to me a year ago. My son and I are having video calls with my parents once a week. My son told me that he was going to come out to his grandparents on the next video call.

Yesterday we had the call. My son started talking and said something like “I have something to tell you guys” but then he stopped. He then ran off from the call. I then told my parents what he was going to say. They were very kind and they wanted to speak to my son so I called him over. They started going on about how they loved him no matter what and all that. When the call was over, my son got really mad at me for telling them. He started yelling at me and saying that he wanted to say it. I thought he wanted me to say it because he left the call.

Now I think I was wrong. I’ve been up all night reading all these LGBTQ+ parent advice stuffs online. I’m trying to navigate parenting as a single mother. This is all new to me and I’m trying to figure it out and not hurt my son like my sister got hurt. Please help me but don’t be mean. Was I wrong? ######

Response:
 YTA

I get you thought you were doing the right thing, and I’m very glad your parents had good reactions and that the relationship between them and your son is good. But you violated your son’s personal information and trust. That was *his* thing to tell. And by running off, something in him wasn’t sure if it was the right time. And even though it’s evidenced by you telling them and their reactions that it was a good time, your son is the one who needed to tell them.

Bit out there, but as an example, it’s like if you had a miscarriage and you were planning to tell your parents, and you entrusted the information in someone close to you, like your sister. You and your sister get on a call with your parents, and you’re planning to tell them. But last minute, you decide you can’t bring yourself to tell them, maybe because you don’t feel ready to personally tell them. So you make an excuse and get up from the call abruptly while the call is still going. You come back into the room after a few minutes and find out your sister has told your parents about the miscarriage. You would be absolutely furious, because it wasn’t your sister’s information to tell and you personally weren’t ready to tell them. ######


Prompt:
Hi everyone! I've been a long-time lurker, but the first-time poster! I (26F) am so excited to marry my fiance (27M) this September! Unfortunately, we've had to postpone our bachelorette/bachelor parties for obvious reasons.  Additionally, we may have to have a small ceremony of fewer than 10 people on our wedding date, and our actual ceremony in June 2021 since we cannot get our money back from the venue, the catering is included as well.  At the end of the day, we do want to share our love in front of our family and friends. We also have just bought a beautiful condo 30 minutes away from fiance's parents in Connecticut! While we are so excited about this journey together, this whole process has been stressful and sometimes I wish we just eloped earlier this year.

Here's the issue my fiance's younger brother Tom (24M) has been dating his girlfriend Melinda (24F) since college.  The crazy world circumstances have led them to want to speed up their future plans. Now, they are looking to get married next month at the courthouse.  They also are putting an offer on a condo 10 minutes from us. I can't help but feel upstaged. They know how difficult the wedding planning process has been for us but are still planning their wedding to be before ours. My Fiance and I are happy for them, but we feel hurt that our feelings weren't taken into consideration.  All of my friends have been saying that Melinda was in competition with me this whole time, but I didn't even see it until now. I just want to make sure that my fiance and I are properly celebrated and don't want to be upstaged.

So Reddit, AITA for being upset that my wedding is being upstaged by my future in-laws? ######

Response:
 YTA

I fail to see how them getting married at a courthouse would upstage your wedding, with a full ceremony?  Are we missing something?

I also don't see why the condos, and their locations, matter. ######


Prompt:
My grandmother is 90 this year.
I'm 34 and SIL is 30.

My SIL visits my grandmother with her children and my brother three times a week, I visit as much as possible which is usually three times a month  but we usually Skype or call at least twice a week, I live further away so it just isnt possible for me to visit as frequently.

My SIL has always been very involved with the family, my brother has always tried to make everyone include her since she was adopted and her adopted family went no contact with her (they had a child of their own not too long after adopting her)

I personally think sometimes SIL is overly involved, she's not actually family.

Apparently my grandmothers care worker asked her work to phone family to talk to my grandmother, apparently she was getting emotional when care worker went to leave because obviously nobody has been visiting as much.

Apparently instead of me being contacted (they have my number and brothers number) they contacted my brother despite me saying contact him only in emergencies if I'm not available.

SIL apparently spent 2 hours on the phone and only told me since grandma had asked where I was.

It's not like I'm low contact, I've specified to contact ME, SIL isnt actually her family and should've passed the message to call to me.

I called them up and complained as I should've been informed, not her.

My husband thinks I'm being pety but I think it was unprofessional on the care workers part and especially so on her boss.

Apparently I'm an AH for overreacting I don't think I overreacted and I'm actually considering changing her carer because I'm concerned about what else I'm not being informed about.

AITA ? ######

Response:
 YTA

I don't see any concern for the grandmother in your post.

 It doesn't seem like SIL or the care workers are doing anything wrong.  The SIL told you about the call and told you about your grandma sound for you.  But you are considering changing the care workers -- the only stability your grandmother knows now -- purely out of spite that your SIL is very involved in your grandmother's care.

>I personally think sometimes SIL is overly involved, she's not actually family.

Family is much more than just blood.  Given all the care your SIL gives to your grandmother, she's definitely family.    YTA for being essentially jealous of your SIL and wanting to go scorched Earth just to show to your SIL that she's "not actually family" according to you. ######


Prompt:
Due to a fire in my apartment I [30m] temporarily moved in with my girlfriend [29f]. I thought it would be great but it has sucked.

She has really bad insomnia, so getting to sleep and staying asleep.  She's been to doctors,  and sleep tests,  and has tried medication but she says the best solution she's found is sleeping for 4 hours, waking up for a few hours,  then back to sleep for another few hours.

I thought I could deal with that but it was more.  She hates sleeping next to people,  which I didn't know until I moved in.  She's says she's scared if waking people up and being woken up by people.  I can see that because I have snapped at her a few times when she's woken me up.

This means she doesn't want to cuddle at night in bed.  Its ok on the couch,  but not in bed.  The whole point of sleeping with your girlfriend is to cuddle,  but she hates it.  When I do convince her to do it,  she's on her phone all night. She doesn't even try to sleep.

The past two weeks she's taken to sleeping on the couch instead of in bed and it's driven this huge wedge between us.  I'm angry because she's given up even trying and it feels like she resents me.

This all blew over when she commented her back has been hurting from sleeping on the couch and she wanted to get a hotel room for the night so she could sleep.  It was heavily implied I would not be welcome and would be staying in her apartment.

I lost it. It is completely a waste of money and a health risk right now.  If she just tried sleeping in bed with me instead of the couch she'd be fine.  She could take some sleeping meds and be fine,  I know she's taken them before to sleep.

She left to go on a 'drive' to clear her head and I'm not sure if she's coming back tonight.  Now I'm starting to feel like I was an asshole for yelling at her,  but I have a point.  Not sleeping next to me feels like she doesn't even want me.

So reddit,  AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

I cannot stress how much you're TA right now. She's doing you a huge favor, **HUGE** by letting you move in since your place had problems. Not only are you not respecting her concerns and medical condition, you've driven her to sleep on the couch because you don't believe that her concerns are valid enough.

But wait, there's more! Now because the couch isn't comfy for sleeping on, you're mad that your GF is **LEAVING HER OWN FREAKING PLACE** to go get some sleep because you need a clue by four to realize that she can't sleep next to you and your stole the bed.

Get over yourself and either GTFO of her apartment and let the poor woman sleep or take the couch. Honestly, I hope she kicks your butt out the door when she gets home, but she's probably so sleep deprived right now she can't think of that as an option. ######


Prompt:
Whenever my roommate and I go grocery shopping together I notice that she just puts stuff in her basket without looking at how much things cost.

We were at Whole Foods earlier today and we were in the fridge section and she randomly was adding some stuff to her basket that she wanted to try. I asked her how much it costed when she came back over to me and she said she didn't know.

I got very annoyed and told her off in front of some people about how she shouldn't act so privileged and that some people have to live off food stamps and don't have the same luxuries that she does or make as money as she does to just be running around buying whatever she wants. I got some dirty looks from the people standing around us but one lady came up to us and she took my side saying that she doesn't take things for granted.

My roommate started to get upset and cried saying that she isn't trying to act privileged and that she just wanted to try the food and figured it wouldn't be too much out of her budget. I was just getting a lot of dirty looks though so I was wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

How the f is it any of your business how much money she spends on her *own* groceries? Goddamn.

Also, just want to point out that you were also shopping at Whole Foods. People on food stamps can't afford to shop there, so aren't you "flaunting your privilege" as well? ######


Prompt: AITA: so I have a teacher coworker who runs in my circles. We get along on the surface but she is extremely gossipy and starts a lot of problems that I have to deal with. Lately, she has been posting photos of herself dressed up... racy. Nothing nudity wise, but tops that are mostly see through, crop tops, super short shorts, etc. Also, her profile is not private and she has students following her on IG. Now, I know it’s petty and vindictive but also, if you have students and students parents as friends, they can all see that. Aren’t we (as teachers) supposed to be setting a better example? I submitted the photos to HR for them to decide. But now I feel like the Ahole... she’s a tennis coach as well and she peppers her racy photos through there posts about her team and the school. Anyways, I don’t feel like teachers should represent themselves like that, but I could also just be the Ahole who would have a better day without her around. ######

Response:
 YTA

How she acts in her personal life is none of your business. How she dresses doesn’t affect her ability to teach, and you had no right to send her profile to HR. You’re a major asshole. ######


Prompt:
So I’m 19f and my brother is 18. He was adopted when I was 4 and my parents have been nothing but kind to him. They treat us exactly the same and he knows that they’ve given him a good life with amazing opportunities.

My only issue is that he’s very clingy and too attached. He was ALWAYS like that. For example when we were little he always wanted to play with me and not other kids. Our teachers had to physically separate us because he wouldn’t let go of my arm. Over the years the attachment wasn’t that extreme but he’s still clingy. I’m not sure why but it’s tiring.

Anyway I was FaceTiming my cousin and her friends. My brother was also with me in the room and her friends noticed him in the background and asked who that is. Before I could answer someone asked if he’s my boyfriend (cringe) and I explained that he’s my brother. They pointed out that we look nothing alike so I clarified that he’s adopted. I explained that he has never blended in with my family because he just looks/behaves too different.

My brother was suddenly very quiet and left the room. After a while I went to speak to him and we had a huge argument. He thinks that I hate to be associated with him because I’m always quick to clarify we’re not biologically related.

I told him that he’s not a true part of my family so I have the right to tell people he’s adopted. He just looked at me with a blank stare and didn’t reply. Honestly I was pretty mad and told him to leave me alone for a while.

Apparently my dad saw him crying and I got into serious trouble with my parents. Idk if he told them what happened but I’ve never seen him cry so they probably think it’s VERY serious. They’re furious with me and want me to apologize.

AITA for being truthful with my brother? ######

Response:
 YTA

He was adopted into your family - that makes him a true part of your family.

> my parents have been nothing but kind to him.

Of course. He is their son.  He may look different on the outside but you are the one who is different on the inside. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 23, mother of two, she’s been driving for a little over a year now.

My daughter loves to speed, her driving honestly terrifies me and I can’t stand being in the car with her despite her claims she drives the speed limit.

Tuesday  morning she phoned me, sobbing, claiming a car cut her off and her car is absolutely wrecked as in she can’t go anywhere with it, she needs that for work.

I calmed her down and talked her through it and eventually she calmed down, jokingly I said “Were you speeding again? Maybe now you won’t be a dick on the road again?”

She’s completely healthy, I don’t know about the other car but I assume so.

The kids ( 4 & 6) were at school so they weren’t in the car.

She went off on one about how she drives the limit and she’s shaken basically saying how the fuck dare I.

I told her the truth, she doesn’t like it? Drive better.

She now isn’t talking to me and my wife scolded me for laughing at our traumatised daughter, I didn’t laugh and I wouldn’t have had I not known she was okay.

If facts hurt then it says a lot.

AITA?

Debated on posting this. ######

Response:
 YTA

From your responses you admit that she was going 60mph in a 60 zone and that you regularly drive under the speed limit everywhere. It sounds like her claims are in fact correct and you are the one generally driving unsafely because you want to go at a slower speed than most everyone else on the road.

She just had a "swoop and stop" basically happen to her and you took that opportunity to tell her that her that she's a dick for at best going with the flow of traffic on most major roads??

And then you post on here that "facts hurt"

What a joke ######


Prompt:
My daughter (16) has been doing online school. Yesterday, we were going over her grades, and there was a 0 that she “forgot” to tell me about. I have a very low tolerance for lying, so I let her have it.

Today is my birthday, but she also had an AP test today, and she needed plenty of rest. However, this morning, she woke me and my husband up with breakfast. When I looked at the time, it was about 7 in the morning.

I asked her how long she’d been up, and she said since 5 because she made cupcakes as well. That would mean she wasn’t asleep as long as she needed to be. I was furious, but I tried to be as calm as possible.

I said “I thought I told you to sleep”. She said “and I did, just not too long”, we went back and forth for a while and I had run out of patience. I began to yell at her, but before I could even say much, she just slammed the tray onto the floor and went to her room crying.

I understood what this was now — since I’m mad at her “kind gesture”, she gets to play the victim and make ME apologize. It was blatant manipulation, which she always does.

She had to clean up the mess, and now she’s grounded for the whole summer. My husband tells me that I’m overreacting, but she has fucked up time and time again, and her grades are the most important thing right now. Her job is school, and she manages to fuck it up all the time.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

From the sounds of it, you’re the manipulative one. Your daughter did something nice for you, and you made her regret it. And then you grounded her for the whole summer? You don’t own your child.

It definitely wouldn’t hurt for you guys to see a family therapist because this post exposes a lot of toxic traits between the both of you. ######


Prompt:
So I'm happily married and the father of two boys. My poor wife lives in a house with a lot of testosterone. She's always taught our boys that girls don't fart, which I think is silly and if she doesn't let up they are going to be very disappointed by their future wives someday. Also I think she just needs to relax about it. We're all human.

Anyway I was playing around on my phone last night and had a brilliant idea. I knew I wasn't going to sleep well, so I figured I'd just keep the phone handy and when she began to fart in her sleep I'd get some video evidence. It's never just once, but like a lot of little ones, so I got a pretty good video and showed it to the kids over breakfast.  Obviously being 5 and 7 year old boys they thought it was hilarious and kept making jokes all day. I did tell them to tone it down after a while.

My wife is furious. We've always been a fun couple and I really didn't expect this reaction, but she says it was humiliating. I apologized, got the kids to stop, and stopped threatening to upload it to Facebook, but I really think this is a massive overreaction. So AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

For all the other reasons already mentioned, but especially for this:

> I apologized, got the kids to stop, and stopped threatening to upload it to Facebook

Way to bury the lede there!  You threatened to upload videos of your sleeping wife farting to facebook?  What the hell is wrong with you? ######


Prompt:
Some background. We are pretty well off financially. Me and my wife still work luckily and have 3 kids the oldest is 18 graduated highschool and the youngest is 13. We told our kids we had rules. If they don’t plan to go to college they are out of the house at 21 and if they do, out of the house by 28 so either way they have time to get themselves established.

The oldest said she wants to go to college so she can discover what she wants to do. She showed no interest in college before graduating and didn’t apply to any. Problem is, we, my wife and I, feel like it would be a waste of money. We have enough for each of our kids at this point and currently working on our retirement fund. But we think it would be a waste.

Our daughter barely made it through highschool and show no interest in college as said above. We sat her down and I said that it would be a waste if she goes one semester or one year and not go to any classes or fail out. She went ballistic saying we were crushing her dreams. I told her a compromise would be if she can pay the first two years either with loans and scholarships and made it through GPA wise, we would pay the final two years. Again she went ballistic and accused us for favoring her younger siblings ( after this I kinda do).

Me and wife stood firm on it until this week when she threatened to runaway with her boyfriend. I told her that her boyfriend is trailertrash. Honestly, her running away is putting some pressure on us, but I want to stay firm. My wife on the other hand is saying just give in.

Aita if I keep holding my ground and let her runaway? ######

Response:
 YTA

First of all, nobody likes the fact that a college degree is becoming more and more mandatory to get a job. But that's just how the world works.

Second, you don't give your children different circumstances or ambush them with surprise conditions in the last minute. If your daughter is at a company applying for a sought after position that then invents some bullshit, last minute requirement changes to make sure they don't have to grant it to her specifically but rather one of the bosses friends because "it would be such a waste", please tell me you'd be supporting her when she takes that company to court?

Third, I would not mind it if you mention that you've budgeted for an exact amount of semesters and after they're done, the money's out, she would have to pay for herself if she doesn't have the credits to graduate (and that budget is, obviously, the same for all your kids).

Fourth, your wife knows what's morally right here. Surprise conditions out of spite, to discourage *your own daughter* from going to college, is the reason young adults have trust issues.

EDIT:

And fifth, this comment you gave later, regarding if you would pay off her student loans if she completes her degree and proves to you that she's capable, really nails your assholish attitude home:

>Hell no not after this. My sons deserve the money more. Even if they  don’t go to college, we’re just give them extra money in the will

I can't imagine being this spiteful to my own kid who's crime was saying something stupid while in high school. ######


Prompt:
Hello, I am writing this because my husband just told me I was the asshole but I strongly disagree.

My son is currently in 8th grade and always tells me about the crazy things students do to each other in his class. While I do believe some were inappropriate, I just took it as they being kids and would hopefully grow out of it once they get older. However, what my son told me happened yesterday was completely different. During his math online test, some students attempted to copy but were later caught by the teacher and ended up getting a failing mark. When his lesson ended, my son was having a conversation with these students and others from his class and the words they used to describe this teacher was honestly horrible and disgusting. I never imagined these children would know this many swear words! This was extremely inappropriate and I contacted the teacher and told her everything that happened and urged her to tell their parents about these students.

I told my husband and son about it and my son got very mad at me and told me they will all think he is the ‘teachers puppet’ and will lose his friends. My husband also agrees I was the asshole and to next time mind my own business. I told him that it is my business that these students have a terrible behavior.

&#x200B;

Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts about this. ######

Response:
 YTA

Every teacher knows students call them names behind their back. If youd revealed cheating that would be one thing, but she did not need to be regaled with the specific names/insults these creative teens used. It serves no purpose. ######


Prompt:
I (F24) am getting married to the most amazing man this summer - we'll call him Ken (M22). He has invited 2 of his best friends from college, Alex (M23) and Nicole (F22). I have hung out with both Alex and Nicole several times, but Ken is closer to them than I am.

So Ken and I both think our religion is really important to us. The ceremony is happening in our dream church and like 80% of the guests are from either his church or mine (the other 20% are family). Alex is some kind of Catholic, but Nicole has never been baptized or even gone to mass before. According to Ken, she has no interest in religion. This bothers me a lot because I feel like she won't appreciate our ceremony or the church. Nicole is also very exotic looking, with brown skin and dark hair (her parents are from South Asia) so people will already be giving her looks anyway (not a lot of diversity in me or Ken's families).

Here's the issue: Nicole partied a lot in college - drinking, smoking, everything. She would post pics of herself in crop tops and tight jeans WEEKLY. I'm worried that she will wear something inappropriate to my wedding, drawing even more attention to herself.

I asked Ken to ask Alex to talk to Nicole, but Ken never did. So I texted Nicole and discreetly brought up that I'd like to approve her outfit before she bought anything tasteless. Nicole told me that she will do no such thing, and I told her I'm worried she will feel uncomfortable with people staring at her.  She is adamant that nobody will be staring at her and that she will wear what she wants. I asked her to promise me that it wouldn't be anything inappropriate, but she hasn't responded.

AITA? I"m terrified she is going to show up to my beautiful wedding wearing something outrageous just to get back at me. I was genuinely just trying to help her. ######

Response:
 YTA

Even if only for thinking it's relevant to say Nicole is "very exotic looking". She's one of your fiance's best friends, he knows her better than you do, and if he's not worried about her wearing something inappropriate, you shouldn't be either. You and your fiance both find your religion to be super important, you need to trust him. Demanding to approve her dress choice is ridiculous and moving into bridezilla territory. ######


Prompt:
Me and my wife are 30s m/f

We have two little girls 12 and 9 and their brother is 7.  We also have a dog.

My job recently transitioned to wfh and my wife's job recently became much more demanding (she works outside the home).

I have been dealing with the recent stress by cooking.  I enjoyed cooking when I was in college and I recently took it up again as a distraction and a way to get my mind off things.  I'm not bad if I do say so myself.

Since I'm cooking every night, it's only fair that she cleans.

My wife hates that I cook.  She says that the cleaning every night when she gets home is too much, and she'd rather I just do frozen things or order take out.  She basically said that I'm adding to her plate and that I'm the asshole.

I'm not willing to give up this release, and I don't feel it's fair for me to clean.

So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

Dude, just do the dishes. You have the luxury to work from home, she doesn't at the moment.
She's probably tired and just wants to relax, not clean up a bunch of dishes she doesn't agree to.

Either do the dishes yourself, since you love to cook so much or just order takeout or frozen stuff. That seems fair. ######


Prompt:
My brother has started dating a single mother few months ago.

I have quite large Instagram meme page, and me and my brother like trolling each-other so I started uploading more and more single mother memes

Nothing hurting or such

Just dumb stuff like this

https://imgur.com/a/JJoR8Ba

And then I found out my brother has previously shared my meme account with his gf. And his gf has called me and she was hurt and was asking if I had anything against her and she would like to clear it up and that she would like to have a good relation with me because things are going good with my brother
, I apologized

Am I an asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA

Don’t forget a lot of those single mothers are there because deadbeat baby daddies run from their responsibilities. That you would make fun of something like that shows just how much of an AH you are.

I hope you apologized and took that shit down. ######


Prompt:
Edit: Thank you for the responses everyone, I appreciate them all. I've decided to take your advice and send everyone a meaningful apology, EXCEPT for the boy. I'll use a mutual friend to pass the message, however I'll tell them only to mention the apology if he happens to mention me. This was a short discussion, but it helped a lot. Feel free to keep the discussion going; I may change my mind. So again, thanks for the advice!

Amidst the crisis, I still find it funny that this conflict is bothering me more.

Here's some context: I've liked this boy for 2 years now, and he has a girlfriend. I told him I liked him a year ago, and things got awkward between us. We stopped talking seven months ago. However, I did text him on February to yell at him for ignoring my friend and making her cry. He told me to stop texting him, and I did. He stopped ignoring my friend.

Fast forward to today, and looking through our text messages, I realized how awful I was to him. I was a nice girl, and not in a good way. I would be passive aggressive when he talked about his girlfriend, I would fight with him when he called other people his best friend. I would even claim that I was his best friend because I had helped him with some stupid problems. I felt awful rereading those messages, and I couldn't imagine how he felt, having to put up with it.

Now that school is cancelled for the rest of the year in my state, I planned to send all of my friends that have ever been involved with this stupid drama between me and that boy a long apology, because I'm sure that they deserve one for putting up with my shit. I'm also sure that I might not see them again, because I'm going to highschool next year. Well, now you know that this is petty eighth grade drama. Oh well.

I'm just not sure if I should send that boy one last apology. After all, he told me not to text him anymore, but I still feel obliged to. WIBTA? ######

Response:
 YTA

Don't contact people who have specifically said they don't want to hear from you. It's rude.

Also don't text all your friends a long apology. You are just dragging out the drama. Let it be. With everything that is going on I doubt they care that much about it. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend (26m) and I (24f) have been pretty bored recently. We were on a zoom call when a friend of ours brought up the idea of the "freebie list" - aka the five people you can cheat on your SO with. Obviously, this isn't actually real and I don't think any couple takes it seriously.

&#x200B;

But we were both bored so we decided to have a laugh and create our own freebie lists while both acknowledging that this was just a fantasy and that neither of us would cheat on each other. My freebie list was pretty normal but when I saw his, I noticed a pattern.

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Four of his five were Asian or of Asian descent. I starting thinking about all of his previous girlfriends that I know of from his middle-school girlfriend to the one before me and realized I'm the first white woman he's ever dated (which his friends later confirmed for me). I kind of jokingly called him out on his yellow fever which he got really offended at and he said he's not some "creepy fetishist looking for a submissive Asian wife."

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This started a huge argument where he got really angry and refused to speak to me. This is where I may be a bit of the AH in that I didn't really take it seriously and made jokes about it which just made him angrier. Obviously, I'm not offended that he's had yellow fever in the past - he's dating me now and I'm secure enough to know he's not going to cheat on me.

Instead of my normally awesome boyfriend, he's turned into this sulking mess who refuses to talk to me.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

By saying your list was "pretty normal," do you mean they were all white? Being attracted to Asians isn't "abnormal." Yeah, it can be a creepy fetish, but it can also be a normal feature of encountering attractive individuals who happen to be Asian. You basically joked that he has a fetish that dehumanizes people. That's going to land rough for a lot of people. ######


Prompt:
Pre-qurantine!

So I (26M) was going on this date.

Context-
This girl (24F) let's call her Lin, was a friend of my friend. He recommended going on a date with Lin, so I said sure.

On to the story-

So we met at this restaurant that I had never heard of, and it was because Lin lived 30 minutes from here and requested this.

So Lin came, and she was gorgeous, we chatted, and she told me she walked here, since she didn't want to waste gas on a car. I didn't really mind and the convo went on.

Me and Lin really did hit it off, and we talked for an hour, went for a movie (that was 10 minutes from the restaurant) , talked more, had fun and i actually had hope in this date.

So then we had to part, and I assumed Lin would walk home, but she asked me if I could drive her home, since it was night and she never expected the date to go for so long and that she doesn't want to walk this night.

I didn't want to waste gas, plus I felt like she was just using me for my car so I politely declined. She asked one more time because she didn't want to walk home at this time, because a few guys always walked around her neighbourhood at this time.

I told her I couldn't, and she accepted it, glared at me, before leaving.

The next day, I asked her if she made it home safe. She replied a few hours later with:

'If you call getting catcalled safe, then yes I was safe!'

And then blocked me on all social media. I made another account but she told me that it didn't work out, and blocked me again.

I was devastated, since I thought this would work. I can't help but think I was in the wrong. I did have lowish gas, and nothing really bad did happen to her, and if she didn't want the possibility of walking home, she could have got a car/uber.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

At worst - and I mean worst - you drive her home and she says 'hey. I'm not into you at all. Piss off.  Kthanksbye.'. You are no worse off

Most likely is 'thanks I had a great time tonight'. And set up to go out again. That's a good first date.

Or - she invites you inside to hang out and stuff. That's a great first date!!!

You didn't do this small kindness, and by thinking the very worst of someone, nuked all chance for a meaningful relationship.  And cockblocked yourself. ######


Prompt:
So for the people who dont know. ABG is a popular term used in Asian American culture where a asain female goes and takes a lot from black and white culture and is normally talking to a lot of guys at once.

Now this morning I woke to find out my(15M) sister(18F) dyed her hair blond. Which I then made a comment saying "ah we are going full ABG I see." She ask what I meant which I said that she dyed her hair blond. She then said that doesnt mean I'm a ABG I just wanted to try something new. I told her she wears a lot of street wear and drink a lot if boba not to be a ABG. She reminded me that I wear a lot of the same brands she does and I agreed. She then got really upset which I tried to explain to her i was just joking but she wasnt having any of it and she started coming at me for the stuff i do like how i play a lot of league of legends so i must be a stereotype. I told her she was taking it way to personally and i left the room. ######

Response:
 YTA

Asian here. Even if you meant to just joke about it, the fact is that you hurt her feelings.

Generally the better way to approach it is to apologize for hurting her, not going “GOd yoU’Re so SeNSitivE” You basically told her she was a bad Asian and then tried to back out of it without taking any responsibility.

Also, you can absolutely be racist about your own race. Mainly by claiming that you have to be the “picture perfect Asian” (in your case, having dark hair) and then forcing everyone else to act that way or belittling them when they don’t, like what you did to your sister. It fucking sucks to be on the receiving end. So don’t do it.

And before you pull the whole argument of “Well, it doesn’t bother ME” then good for you, but I’m pretty sure that your sister isn’t a carbon copy of you. That may be a good thing to keep in mind when you’re talking to... well, anyone.

Also, literally ALL she did is dye her hair. Even Asians in their countries dye their hair different colors because they feel like it. Why do you think that’s a specific Asian American thing??? ######


Prompt:
My wife and I recently had a child.

Jake looks exactly like me, and not so much like his mother. My wife and I have pretty different phenotypes. She has blue eyes, blonde hair, the perfect member of the Aryan race. I am Indian, pretty brown skin, black hair, brown eyes.

Jake looks like a 30 year old younger version of me. Basically everyone noticed, and even my MIL made a small joke when he was born. So, while we were talking, I decided to make fun of it, and said “Wow, are you sure I didn’t cheat on you?”. With context, I insinuated that Jake is not hers but is mine. Which is obviously illogical, hence the joke.

I think I struck a nerve, because she’s really made with me. We both did apologize, but she’s still acting different around me.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

As a half Indian kid who does not look like one of my parents, your wife will spend the rest of her life dealing with strangers trying to figure out if her child is hers. It’s awful.

The joke you told is funny, but it’s a joke that probably only she can tell. It sounds like she’s already dealing with “jokes” about the baby not being hers. Pro tip: cut that shit out, don’t let anyone joke about your infant being the product of infidelity. If your kid was light skinned, you wouldn’t like your in laws making jokes about you not being the father, would you?

Edit: me and my siblings do look like one of our parents (like OP’s child). I see some commenters saying they have kids that don’t look like them and they don’t mind the joke, and that’s cool, but the interracial aspect of this situation is very important. Unsurprisingly, the YTA section is filled with stories of mixed race people who have all experienced what OP’s wife will experience, while the NTA section seems to be missing melanin and willfully ignoring the context entirely. ######


Prompt:
This happened last night and I have been told by my partner that I was selfish but idk.

There was a tornado warning last night where I live. This isn't too unusual in our state but we are in a city so we dont typically get actual touchdown or anything like that. When the sirens went off (around 6 pm) we heard a knock at the door, and it was our upstairs neighbor. He asked if he and his girlfriend and dog could go in our basement.  We live in a duplex, so it's an old house that has been split in 2 units. They have the second floor and attick and we have the first floor and basement. I told them I wasnt comfortable with them coming into our house, and apologized, and the guy left after kind of awkwardly standing there in my doorway for a second. I said sorry but I dont think I'm obligated to let people into my house just because theres a storm. For what it's worth there wasnt even a tornado after the warnings and the sirens stopped about 5 minutes after he came and asked.

Anyway my girl said I was being selfish but I dont think they need access to our house every time there is a storm warning. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA

An actual tornado is a life or death situation... You wouldn't let your upstairs neighbors into your house *to save their lives*? Seems extreme ######


Prompt: Something I’ve started doing since becoming obsessed with bodybuilding. I don’t have the appetite to finish all the meals so I started just tossing everything in a blender and chugging it in 10 secs because it’s faster and you finish the meal before getting full . My girlfriend cooked dinner last night and I did that and she was furious. Said she put a lot of effort in it and it was supposed to be be good, delicious and healthy and everything felt pointless to watch me drink it like a animal and I should be more considerate. AITA? Didn’t seem like a big deal to be but I’m always open for self reflection ######

Response:
 YTA

Also, maybe you want to think about your self described "body building obsession". Seems like it's already making you disregard your close relationships and treat the chance for some pleasant social interaction as a mere refuelling stop. I don't mean this snarkily, but are you OK? ######


Prompt:
I’m 27/F, my hubs is 29/M, and we have three littles 4, 3, and 18 mos.

My cousin (C) is 26/F. She finally got married to her husband last year.  She has been telling everyone that she and her hubs have been trying to get pregnant, but they haven't had success.  Naturally people are worried for her and concerned, meanwhile she's been on two vacations (not since covid obviously) and bought handbags and furniture.

I asked her about her pregnancy journey, and she told me she hasn't been trying, in fact she had an IUD placed.  I was shocked. She said her and her hubs "like their lifestyle" and weren't sure they would ever have kids!

I asked her why LIE to family, and she said that she "wanted them off her back.". I said that's no excuse. Liking her lifestyle is selfish and self centered.  I told her to think of someone else for a change and left.

Here's where I might be the asshole.  I texted our family that my cousin had an abortion in 2012. I know she did because she had to borrow money from me at the time to stay in a hotel near the center.  They are religious so this didn't go over well.  I think they need to know the truth about my cousin. My hubs agrees she is selfish but disagrees with the way I presented it. ######

Response:
 YTA

Alright, let's break this down.

>I asked her why LIE to family, and she said that she "wanted them off her back."

Reasonable. It's frustrating having people think your body and your sex life is their business. Because *newsflash*: it's not. It's no one's business what she does with her uterus except her. Women are living, breathing, thinking individuals, they aren't walking incubators. And obviously her husband is on the same page.

>I said that's no excuse.

See the above point

>Liking her lifestyle is selfish and self centered.

Being happy is self-centered? That's one I haven't heard before.

>I told her to think of someone else for a change and left.

Like who? She and her husband made the choice that was best for *their* life together. You and your family don't want to accept that, so of course they're going to say whatever it takes to stop listening to everyone's *selfish* opinions about what your cousin and her husband do in *their* marriage. ######


Prompt:
I am not here looking for advice, I just need someone to tell me like it is.

My danger went into foster care from the ages of 13-15 (She is currently 15). I had her young, i made some mistakes as a parent, but after that wake up call I got my stuff together and got my daughter back. After coming back from homelessness and drug addiction, I thought that she would be proud of all that I had done to make a safe home for her.

She stayed with the same foster family for the entire time. The foster parents claimed to support my unification with her, but I felt that they were spoiling her and buying her loyalty at the same time. They went over my head to get decisions made for her, they took her on trips, and did other things that raised expectations for her that I knew that I would not be able to maintain.

When she came back to me she was unhappy. She expressed that she did not want to leave her foster home, and it really hurt my feelings. At first I supported the contact with this family. Then slowly, I realized that she was still depending on them as caregivers and not giving me a chance to care for her. I asked the family to cease contact with her, so that I could demonstrate to Hera that I am a capable caregiver. They reluctantly agreed.

When she calls them, they don’t answer. This has given her some significant distress, but she is leaning on me more. I feel bad about having these people disappear from her life, and when I ask others if I made the right choice, they tip toe around answering me. I just want someone to tell it to me straight, aita for asking them to stop contacting my daughter? ######

Response:
 YTA

All those trips and ‘spoils’ she got while she was with them was her being treated like their own daughter, as she should be. You don’t get to have a say in how they raised your daughter. You gave up that right when you messed up so badly that the state decided you were unfit to have her for those two years.

Those people became a major part of her life for those years. Cutting them off and making them abandon your daughter to make yourself feel better is the wrong choice. After all that happened, it takes time to build trust back up. How does she know you won’t relapse and she’ll be right back in the system tomorrow?

I can congratulate you for getting your act together. But forcing the foster parents to ignore your already traumatized daughter is wrong. You sound jealous more than anything. You’re thinking of yourself way more than you’re thinking about what your daughter needs. You can’t build new trust by being so selfish. ######


Prompt:
Me (28 M) and my cousin (19M) have always been close and in a way I see him as a younger brother. He has never been good with dating/relationships unfortunately, but he ended up going on multiple dates with a girl that goes to his school.

Initially he described the dates as being really fun, that they have a lot to talk about/there's tons of flirting, etc. I only met her once but they did seem to have real chemistry.

So backstory is that he supposedly asked her what kind of relationship they have and she friendzoned him. When she messaged him again, he told her he was hurt and needed space. After a week, he messaged her back apologizing and would try to continue as friends. She ghosted him completely, which made him more hurt. He made a couple more attempts at messaging her but she ignored all of them.

He's been speaking to me a lot about this, but I basically told him "most girls can be ruthless, stop being invested in that slut. If she got so offended that you were taken back by being friendzoned by her and wanted some space, she can fuck off. Go around, sleep with other girls, don't worry about any commitments or how they feel, just have fun. Eventually the right girl will come along"

Lately he seems to be getting over it, but when I told my girlfriend what I said, she told me I was out of my mind. Being that she's a female, I knew she wouldn't understand, but I felt my cousin needs to know that he needs to be a little less sensitive to these matters and dancing around the subject will only hurt him more. On the other hand, maybe my girlfriend is right that I could have toned it down? Either way, I just wanted to know if I am an asshole for angering my girlfriend like that. ######

Response:
 YTA

1. The other girl is apparently a slut for not sleeping with your cousin? Last I check, calling someone a slut is supposed to mean they sleep around too much

2. Slut-shaming a girl while encouraging a boy to sleep around is blatant misogyny. If you think a boy sleeping around is fine, then a girl sleeping around should be fine.

3. Girls don’t owe guys a damn thing when it comes to dating them. “Friendzoning” is just a term made up to criticize women for not wanting to date any guy that has a pulse.

4. You said your girlfriend doesn’t know what she’s talking about when it comes to misogyny because *drumroll* she’s a woman.

Congratulations, you won the award for most Misogynist Reddit Post of the Day ######


Prompt:
My wife (23F) is American-born, but her parents immigrated from China and speak nearly no English. Recently, she was on the phone with her mom, who apparently expressed that she wishes her son in law (me, 26M) would start learning some Chinese so that we could communicate better. When my wife told me about this later, I told her I didn’t want to.

She argued that I could just slowly learn and accumulate some easy phrases and that I had plenty of time since we both aren’t working due to stay at home orders and that I should do this instead of playing video games all day. First of all, I really suck at learning languages, like a lot more than the average person. Also, we don’t live near her parents, so there wouldn’t be that much opportunity to use it even if I learned it. When we’re all together, my wife translates everything and it works out fine. And finally, I just honestly have no interest in learning to speak Chinese.

When I told my wife this, she seemed disappointed and said I was making excuses but dropped the subject. Am I the asshole for not wanting to learn to speak Chinese for my wife and her parents? ######

Response:
 YTA

1. She's only asking you to learn a few words/phrases, not an entire language.
2. Your in-laws are a permanent part of your life, and learning at least some of their language demonstrate a lot of respect.
3. Your response of "my wife translates everything and it works out fine" is kind of demeaning. She's your wife, not your secretary.  You shouldn't make translation seem like "her job".

In short, show some respect for your in-laws.  Show your wife that you're willing to put in a little work to be part of her family. ######


Prompt:
I posted a thread last night about an unrelated issue on AITA and mistakenly dropped this information in the comments. Even though the issue I asked about is completely separate, I'm getting crucified over the fact that I once made a Tinder last year while dating my girlfriend.

Here's the thing, though: I only made it for a confidence boost. I never had any intention of cheating or even messaging these girls. I only got 2 matches anyway and they weren't even that attractive, at least not attractive enough that my girlfriend should have felt threatened by them. My girlfriend was upset about it when she found out. We sat down and I told her how I was feeling unappreciated especially since she never wakes me up with "surprises" anymore. We moved past it and our relationship has been good since then. But the Reddit hivemind is insisting I'm an asshole because I had a Tinder for one week a year ago that didn't lead to any  infidelity whatsoever. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

>We sat down and I told her how I was feeling unappreciated

Yeah, no.  That's the conversation you have **before** you start swiping on people on Tinder, not after you're caught.

>I only made it for a confidence boost.

So you're feigning interest in people (by swiping on them) in the hopes that they'll stroke your ego by swiping back?  That'd be an asshole move even if you *weren't* already in a relationship.

>they weren't even that attractive, at least not attractive enough that my girlfriend should have felt threatened by them.

Wow, you sound more and more like an asshole with every sentence you type.  You just blatantly stated that if these women had been more attractive, then your girlfriend *should* have felt threatened.

>But the Reddit hivemind is insisting I'm an asshole because I had a Tinder for one week a year ago that didn't lead to any infidelity whatsoever.

See?  You did it again!

Protip:  You don't become the asshole for swiping on other girls on Tinder behind your girlfriend's back *only* if it leads to infidelity.  Any resulting infidelity would just make you even *more* of an asshole than you were already being. ######


Prompt:
So  I've (25M) lived with my ex (24F) for 5 years, we dated for almost 3 years, this was 2 years ago, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now- they're even planning on moving in with eachother, she's very excited, since breaking up we've just been friends.

I met my girlfriend 5 months ago, dating for 3months.

She knows I've got a roommate, she knows my roommate is a woman and she knows we are friendly.

I didn't think it was necessary.

We were recently talking about exs when I said I'd briefly dated *roommates name* - a silly mistake on my part.

She freaked out, calling me an AH for not telling her first and had she known she wouldn't have been as trusting of *roommates name* and that its something I should've told her.

My roommate agrees I should've told my girlfriend but my girlfriend is overreacting by ignoring me.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

>we dated for almost 3 years

>We were recently talking about exs when I said I'd briefly dated roommates name - a silly mistake on my part.

So you were actively keeping it from her, hence the "silly mistake" on my part. Then when you finally tell her you still lied by saying you "briefly dated" someone you were with for three years. ######


Prompt:
Hi, I’m new to reddit, and only saw it on a YouTube video, so I thought I would give I a try.

My son (15) last year asked about getting a gaming computer. My son has the tendency to really want something for around a week, but then drop it after I say he can’t have it.

He asked about building a computer and we talked about it. We agreed on a budget of around $1000. I told him if he could save up, he could get it.

Fast forward a year later, and he did save up $1000. The only reason I had even talked about budget was to humor him for a while.

He came into me and my husbands room and basically did a presentation on what he was going to buy. I asked him what would the cost be and he said $1100. He does have around $1300 in his account.

I shut it down immediately. He’s 15 and needs to save for a car. Me and my husband both think that 1100 is outrageous. He has a Xbox if he wants to play games. And he also has a chromebook for schoolwork.

He tells me that it’s not that simple. But $1100 is crazy.

I told him that he could spend $500 and now he won’t leave his room because “I lied to him, and got his hopes up.”

I just know that $1100 is way to much. He can get a nice computer for $500.

So reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA

>We agreed on a budget of around $1000. I told him if he could save up, he could get it.
>
>The only reason I had even talked about budget was to humor him for a while.

So you lied. How are you not the asshole?

>Me and my husband both think that 1100 is outrageous.

Do you or your husband know anything about gaming PCs? I'd say that's a reasonable mid-range build.

>He has a Xbox if he wants to play games.

Not all games are available on Xbox. It's also a different gaming experience.

>And he also has a chromebook for schoolwork.

He wants a *gaming* PC. A laptop doesn't even compare.

>He’s 15 and needs to save for a car.

Does he want a car? Does he need a car? Are you forcing him to purchase a car with his money? Have you informed him of this?

You and your husband seem very controlling considering it's not your money he's spending. ######


Prompt:
This occured several years ago when I was just 19.  It was mentioned during an outing with friends recently, whose immediate responds was I'm an asshole. Judge me Reddit.

I'm a writer.

Well no, not really, but I write stories and post them on writing websites to collaborate with other aspiring authors. I once found a story I genuinely liked the plot of - writing websites aren't known for gifted writing - but hated the turn it took and overall, the general tone. The author was 12 so I never expected much. I took the idea, drabbled with it and made it my own. There wasn't many similarities other than plot, characters and climax. I received phenomenal support from others on this website and attain quite a large group of readers. Now this other version, the 12 year old's, wasn't very popular, especially compared to mine. She approached me, admitted something I didn't need to hear (bad parents, no friends, bullied, writing was her only escape, blah, blah, blah) and asked me to take down my story. I didn't because that wasn't her right to ask me. Someone starts the rumor I 'stole the idea'. My readers didn't take this to well. In attempt to defend me they called this 12 year old a lot of names, small things like loser, retard, freak, idiot, told her her writing was shit, it sucked. I didn't particpate in any name caller so I don't blame myself for that.

Talking about it my friends think I was a complete bitch, but I don't see it like that. I took an idea I liked and created my own version with it. So yes, thoughts? ######

Response:
 YTA

>There wasn't many similarities other than plot, characters and climax

There *weren't many similarities besides the plot, characters, and climax. Otherwise known as all the components of a story. ######


Prompt:
My brother has two kids, 9 and 13. Their mother is out of the picture. Our family has been very supportive of him and his kids. My brother remarried and it was more of a "rebound" marriage for him and a marriage of "convenience" for her. My brother is a nice guy and makes good money. He only started to seriously date because his kids were older and he had more time. He was in one LTR that ended badly and then he started dating "Melissa." I was very suspect about her. Just like how my brother plays up the knight in shining armor, she played up the damsel in distress looking for her prince who would basically take care of her financially.

Long story short, they married two years ago. His kids do not view her as anything more than dad's wife. There is no parent-child bond. In fact, they have nothing in common with her. They don't like, but don't dislike each other. She's not particularly invested in them.

Lately, she's been bragging and complaining about being a "mom." The way she talks, you think she's talking about her own kids, but she has none of her own. She's talking about my niece and nephew. Often her brags and complaints are embellished as most parental brags and complaints are. Not too long ago, she was talking about how she feels like she's "failing my kids" in a lame "woe-is-Mom-ME" move. I couldn't take her and told her she wasn't a mother and no one seriously saw her as one either. I also told her that no one believes the marriage is going to last anyways and no one is even going to remember her.

And I am the nice brother! ######

Response:
 YTA

>My brother remarried and it was more of a "rebound" marriage for him and a marriage of "convenience" for her.

>I couldn't take her and told her she wasn't a mother and no one seriously saw her as one either. I also told her that no one believes the marriage is going to last anyways and no one is even going to remember her.

Sounds like you have a lot of pent up anger and judgment towards you brother's wife and you let it get the better of you and made an ass out of yourself. ######


Prompt:
 My fiancé  and I were supposed to get married in 2 weeks. However, I’ve  been going through a rough time this month,  and  today has been one of those days.  First, my fiancé broke his leg while at work which required surgery, then he was fired and we were both required to work at Walmart to sustain ourselves. Luckily, we have raised over $25,000  from the generous early donations we received from relatives. This helped us enormously. We were able to pay for my fiancé's medical expenses, for new furniture, and for therapy for both of us after being emotionally damaged.

After having a thoughtful conversation with my mother and fiancé, I decided to cancel my wedding and reschedule it once we regain financial stability. I’m now being attacked by my own family and friends for refusing to give back their money since I did not use it as promised. I am so hurt that they consider using the donations for health reasons as in ‘bad faith’. I understand their anger because most of them had to change their plans to attend my wedding but I am still upset at them for not understanding what I’ve been going through. I promised them that I am going to reschedule my wedding and will re open our money funds for any further gifts since we lost most of the money. I am now being bombarded by calls and hate messages from my own family and friends and don’t know what to do. Do you guys think I am the asshole in this situation? ######

Response:
 YTA

>I promised them that I am going to reschedule my wedding and will re open our money funds for any further gifts since we lost most of the money.

That's so over the top asshole it makes me pretty positive you're trolling. People already donated 25,000, you're refusing to return money for a wedding that DIDN'T happen, and now you're reassuring people that they will have another chance to give you more money. Lol gtfo with that utter nonsense.

Edit: okay that edit seals the deal, definitely trolling. Or maybe I just missed all the supportive comments asking OP to start a GoFundMe so WE can pay for a non-existent wedding... ######


Prompt:
My adult daughter is living with us to help take care of my husband, her step dad. Her day job is nursing so she’s been quite stressed lately, and I blamed that for how distant she’s been.

Thing is, she’s a plenty affectionate person. She tells her dog that she loves him multiple times a day. Before she leaves for work, when she gets home, when she feeds him, when they’re training, completely at random. Whereas she barely acknowledges me at all. It’s this huge, ugly pound dog who I don’t find lovable at all, but I digress.

The other day she was fawning over him as usual and I snapped. I tried to politely tell her that I’d appreciate some of the same love that she shows to a damn dog. I’m her mother after all. She didn’t react well to that and stormed away, with the dog of course. She called me an ass and my husband says she has a point.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

>I myself was raised knowing full well my parents’ love for me because they expressed it with actions, not words. Likewise, I have communicated love through caring for her needs and providing for her.

You chose to raise your daughter in this manner, not expressing your love with words. You're an asshole if you expect her to show you love in a way you denied her.

~~needs more information~~ - how often do YOU say I love you to your daughter? How often do you show her affection? Usually kids follow their parents lead on these things. ######


Prompt:
I'm going to keep this short. I graduated college last week. I took graduation pictures with my family and friends. I put up a little collage on facebook, twitter etc but I cut out my mum from the pictures before this. I have nothing against my mum but she looks significantly younger for her age and it annoys me. Some people think we're sister and one time someone even though she was younger than me. And people tend to think she's my dad's younger trophy wife (she's only 2 years younger than him). I mean I hope I get her genes but it really annoys me. So to avoid inevitable comments about her I cropped her out of our family picture.

She's hurt that I cut her out but not my brother or my dad. Like she's not part of the family. But really it was a harmless thing and I did thank my "parents" in my post so that includes her.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response:
 Yta

>I have nothing against my mum but she looks significantly younger for her age and it annoys me.

Imagine being this vain and self-centred. It sounds to me like you're jealous of her.

>I have nothing against my mum

>Like she's not part of the family

Which one is it? Do you have nothing against her or not? It sure sounds like you have something against her. ######


Prompt:
The title probably screams NTA, but before you judge him hear my story.

I (f24) cook dinner for my boyfriend (m26) almost every night and he does the dishes, so we have a good system going. I usually try to make something that we can both enjoy, but I have one dish that I love eating and used to make a lot before we moved in together, which he doesn't like because it contains a lot of garlic.

It's been a year or so since I last made the dish and I was really craving it. So I told him I would be making it tonight even though I know he doesn't like it. I also told him that if he didn't want any he could make himself an omelet, since I don't really like them and he sometimes wants it for dinner.

However now he has announced that he is going to buy a pizza, and I don't know, I know this is such a petty thing to get annoyed over, but I can't help but feel like my cooking isn't really needed. But I did tell him that it was okay for him to make something else, but I was expecting it to be something I don't enjoy as much.

Link if anyone is curious about the dish: [https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio](https://www.bingingwithbabish.com/recipes/2017/5/4/aglioeolio) ######

Response:
 YTA

>I can't help but feel like my cooking isn't really needed

It's needed to you because you like the dish you're making.

You know he doesn't like it and so why would you get upset he's getting something different.

How is him getting a pizza different to making an omelette? Because you like pizza? Why does he have to eat something you don't like just because you're eating something he doesn't like? ######


Prompt:
Ive  (25m) just recently moved in with my GF (26f) - I am black, and she is white.

Growing up my parents drummed it into me that white people using fake tan is equivalent to black face, and i thoroughly believed this until I met my GF.

For context my GF was raised by her mum, her dad died after her sister was born, and that side of the family became estranged. My GF and her sister are both white, but their biological dad is a shade of brown. She doesnt know the details of her heritage, and says its too painful to dig into family that dont care about her. I respect this, and i dont push it.

My GF is also not completely devoid of melanin, she had dark curly hair, and the reason she tans is because her skin tone is uneven. Her sister is blonde and white all over, so i often wondered why they looked so different. She let it wear off to show me once, and her stomach and back are brown, but her face and limbs are white. I still think she's beautiful, but i know she is insecure about it.

My mom is talking about us all having a holiday together next year, but honestly im terrified she will see my GFs fake tan in the bathroom or something.  So i want to ask her not to do it while we're on holiday.

I want marry this girl one day, and i really want my parents to like her, and I'm so scared finding this out will make them disapprove of our relationship - and i'm scared my GF will be so hurt by my parents views she won't want to be with me. ######

Response:
 YTA

>Growing up my parents drummed it into me that white people using fake tan is equivalent to black face

Mainly your parents suck though. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) have been together for almost a year. She comes from a wealthy family. They own several houses and buy my gf everything she wants whenever she wants it. They’re good people, but I think they need to treat her like a woman instead of a child. I worked hard for everything I have, which isn’t much, so it frustrates me to watch her coast through life. They pay all of her bills, including putting her through medical school. All she has to pay for herself are her luxuries, so she is able to build up her savings much more than I am. Who the hell is able to save up while they’re in medical school? Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.

So yesterday my girlfriend and I got into a very heated argument. She told me her new laptop had finally come. I asked her what laptop. She said her old one broke a few days ago so she ordered a new one. She got a top of the line MacBook, way more bells and whistles than what she needs. I asked how she paid for it but I knew the answer, her parents bought it. So here’s where I might be the asshole. I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need*. I finally just asked her if she’s embarrassed that everything she has in life has been handed to her. Naturally she got defensive and we started arguing. After a while I calmly said I think she’s a spoiled brat and her parents are doing a disservice to her. She called me a string of obscenities in return before hanging up on me. We haven’t talked since.

I get that I was harsh on her but I really don’t think I was wrong. She’s an adult who has no concept of what the real world is like. I want the best for her at the end of the day. Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

> Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.

No, they can't.  Even without having to worry about finances, medical school is *hard fuckin' work*.  Most people can't cut it.

>I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need.*

Are you mad at yourself every time you spend enough money to feed a family in the developing world for a month on a video game you *don't need*?  Or a Netflix subscription you *don't need*?  Or on any other non-necessities?

You sound envious and insecure.  It's not wrong for your girlfriend's parents to help her out.  Nothing you mentioned would indicate that she's spoiled or a brat.

You, on the other hand, are being a mega brat. ######


Prompt:
I (F38) and my husband (M42) have 3 daughters. Jessica (14), Samantha (12) and Melissa (4.5).

Both my husband and I work, my youngest attends kindergarten and my daughters are in school.

Melissa is not reaching her milestones as quickly as her sisters. She's very bright, but she's still not fully potty trained (still uses nappies at night) and has trouble sleeping.

Melissa, for the past year and a half, has not been able to fall  asleep in a room on her own. We tried a night light but it didn't work. She would not sleep until she was too exhausted to stay awake any longer, and would be exhausted all day at daycare/kinder. Desperate for her to get sleep, my husband and I began staying in the room with her until she falls asleep. This can take anywhere from 45 minutes up to 1.5 hours.

At first it was just my husband and I, but about 8 months ago we started a system where we would involve our daughters, and everyone would alternate days. My daughters had commitments on Fridays and Saturdays respectively, so they would each stay on the night the other was out. This way my husband and I would have a chance to relax together occasionally after dinner.

My daughters have begun complaining that they don't want to stay in the room anymore. Because theres no armchair, and they can't make noise or read, they have to basically lay in a trundle bed next to her and pretend to sleep until Melissa falls asleep. Then they can leave.

They are complaining that this is boring and it's not their job to help Melissa sleep. I see it as like babysitting, which I never otherwise ask them to do for me.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

> theres no armchair, and they can't make noise or read, they have to basically lay in a trundle bed next to her and pretend to sleep until Melissa falls asleep.

OMG I can't imagine being forced to just lay next to someone until they fall asleep. This is not at all comparable to babysitting for this exact reason.  When you babysit, you can either interact with the child or doing something on your own while they entertain themselves.  Either way, there is some form of entertainment involved. ######


Prompt:
To preface this debacle, my wife is 37 weeks pregnant is also very religious, but i'm not.  I'm currently on a deployment as well, and have been away from her since 3rd trimester hit. On to the story.

&#x200B;

My wife is a very emotional person and someone who stresses easily, being 37 weeks just multiplied this by 100 for her. Last week my wife agreed to watch our friend's dog while they go visit family, since their usual sitter was unavailable. Being already under stress from being on her own, trying to do what she can to make this pregnancy go smooth, and now a dog to watch put her on some very very thing ice. A few days go by without an issue, and then 2 or 3 days ago, the dog she watching peed all over the bed, the blanket, her pregnancy pillow and through the sheets. She was about to go to bed when she saw all this, and of course she broke down in hysteria, called me and starting crying more about how she hates the dog, how it's putting her under constant stress, how much her chest is hurting, and how she's done with everything and can't take it anymore. While trying to keep her calm and from just beating the dog, i tell her that it's just sheets, it's not a big deal they can be washed in the morning. She gets more upset by this and says how she wanted the next day to be relaxing and not do a whole lot, but now she needs to do laundry. So while she's crying and complaining to me, I say "Well, it's probably just God testing your strength and wants to see how far you go since he has a plan for you." She stopped crying, and just looked at me confused processing what I just said. Then when she processed it, she started blowing up on me, calling a dick, an asshole, 'inconsiderate goddamn motherfucking jackass who doesn't care about anyone on this planet,' and more. So I don't get it, cuz she always says about how God has a plan for everyone and how he tests people to see if they're worthy of going to heaven or not. So, AITA for this or not? ######

Response:
 YTA

> I say "Well, it's probably just God testing your strength and wants to see how far you go since he has a plan for you."

Even if you meant it genuinely (and I question that, I can absolutely see it being a passive aggressive comment) then how is that in any way helpful? No matter what she was going to have to handle all of the mess, all she needed from you was some commiseration. She is heavily pregnant and alone. And you made a shitty moment shittier. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 23, mother of two, she’s been driving for a little over a year now.

My daughter loves to speed, her driving honestly terrifies me and I can’t stand being in the car with her despite her claims she drives the speed limit.

Tuesday  morning she phoned me, sobbing, claiming a car cut her off and her car is absolutely wrecked as in she can’t go anywhere with it, she needs that for work.

I calmed her down and talked her through it and eventually she calmed down, jokingly I said “Were you speeding again? Maybe now you won’t be a dick on the road again?”

She’s completely healthy, I don’t know about the other car but I assume so.

The kids ( 4 & 6) were at school so they weren’t in the car.

She went off on one about how she drives the limit and she’s shaken basically saying how the fuck dare I.

I told her the truth, she doesn’t like it? Drive better.

She now isn’t talking to me and my wife scolded me for laughing at our traumatised daughter, I didn’t laugh and I wouldn’t have had I not known she was okay.

If facts hurt then it says a lot.

AITA?

Debated on posting this. ######

Response:
 YTA

When i first read this you i was gonna say ESH as you said it at the wrong time, and she was speeding.

However after reading through your comments, she was NOT speeding and she got cut off by a crappy driver, so you saying that after she just survived a serious accident was rude but also not relevant. If you want to talk to her about her speeding then talk about it NOT immediately after a crisis. YTA ######


Prompt:
I (17m) live with my mom and my little brother (12m). My mom, right before we all got stuck inside, went and bought my brother a bunch of books in this series about cats. I think it’s called Warriors or Survivors, I don’t really know. My brother’s been reading them cover to cover since he got them.

Yesterday I was playing games in he living room, and my brother was sitting next to me reading. I saw the cover (it had this derpy ass cat on the cover) and laughed. I asked him what the book was about, he told me it was about these two cat groups fighting and his favorite character died. He was really upset. I told him that it was just a cat, and that he shouldn’t be so upset.

He got kinda mad at me and told me to shut up, and I also got kinda mad because of that. I told him his books were stupid and that no normal person would read about “fucking kitty cats.” I also asked if he wanted to be a cat.

My brother went and told my mom about it, and I got in a huge amount of trouble for “bullying” my brother. I wasn’t bullying him, I was just telling him my opinion on the books. Apparently he’d been crying because his face was red, and I told him and my mom that he was too sensitive for his own good. My mom told me not to be a dick, and I got my console taken away, and sent to my room. I also have to apologize to my brother, but I don’t think I should.

AITA for “bullying” my brother? ######

Response:
 YTA

>I was just telling him my opinion on the books.
>
>and his favorite character died. He was really upset.
>
>no normal person would read about "fucking kitty cats"

you were calling him abnormal, called what he was reading stupid, and asked if he wanted to be a cat because he was reading something about warrior cats, my guy, you should apologize to him ######


Prompt:
Obligatory user on mobile warning:

So I have an anxiety and this rule stems from it.

I only have two rules: be open and honest/don't lie to me
And Don't share bodily fluids

I do not want my boyfriend sharing fluids with anyone, as in, no sharing drinks, cigarettes, food etc

It's been three rule I've had since before I met him 3years ago.

We got in a big fight tonight because he doesn't see what the big deal is, refuses to apologise and wants me not to get mad at him when he chooses to do it occasionally "because it's only 1% of the time that I do it out of the 99% of the times I could do it/would do it before I met you"

He was trying to talk to me calmly and asking if I could please just get over it- I've explained why it's so important to me and I just want to be respected on it so I refused to "just get over it"

AITA for getting mad at bf when he ignores a rule occasionally because he doesn't agree with it and thinks is silly? ######

Response:
 YTA

Your boyfriend is right. That’s a ridiculous rule.

I mean... right now under the whole global pandemic thing it’s perfectly reasonable to not want him sharing saliva in any form because of the pandemic.

But in normal times, it simply isn’t a big deal.

And your anxiety doesn’t give you the right to police the behavior of others.   Normally I would argue that it wouldn’t be difficult for your bf to follow this rule around you at least but your post clearly indicts that’s not good enough, which is where you become unreasonable.

And to be clear, this has nothing to do with whether or not he respects you. He can respect you and not follow an over the top rule that stems from your issues, not his.

Not respecting you would be him deliberately going out of his way to share fluids with others around you, which doesn’t seem to be the case.

I’m sure some will say everyone sucks because of his get over it comment, which isn’t ideal.  But at a certain point, you DO simply need to get over it.  It’s not EASY, but it is simple. ######


Prompt: I have lived in the same neighborhood for a few years. It's pretty Vanilla here. Recently, someone bought the house across the street. They seem nice enough. I have had no problems with them at all. Another neighbor came by recently and asked me if I had noticed the star. I hadn't. When they moved in, they had turned a mounted star (that was already there when they moved in) upside down. I guess it's a pentagram that way. I do not see them performing any satanic rituals, it's just weird. Then the same neighbor asked if I had noticed the clowns, and I hadn't. I looked closer and noticed there was a silhouette in the window but couldn't make it out. I walked over and looked, and it was a killer clown with an evil face with splattered blood on it. Again, I haven't seen anything happen over there. I feel like these are just some folks wanting to appear Cool by doing something edgy. I really don't know. I DO know that my kids are now afraid of the clown in the window that is always facing us. Would I be the asshole if I went over there and asked them to take the clown out of the window because it is scaring my kids? ######

Response:
 YTA

This is a good time to teach your kids not run around the neighborhood looking into people's houses.  I bet your neighbors won't have a bunch of other people's kids riding bikes in their driveway or screaming in front of their house. ######


Prompt:
Using an old throwaway for this. My sister is pregnant and announced the name of her baby on Facebook. She told our family group chat the gender but didn't mention anything about his name.

The problem is that it is the same name of my ex boyfriend who I dated for 4 years. We ended on pretty bad terms and my family saw the worst of it. I called my sister and confronted her about the name. She said it was on her list before I even started dating my ex, and that I should be over him by now.

That's when I started yelling at her and called her a bitch. Typically when we fight, it gets really nasty - the longest fight we had was a month. She then said i am no longer going to be her sons godmother and to not contact her anymore until she gives birth (she is only five months along)

I genuinely think that if she cared about me, she would ask how i felt before announcing it on Facebook. Its not so much the name reminding me of my ex, but the fact that she didn't even ask me beforehand. BTW the name is not very common (a cultural name) so she clearly knew how i would react

So, AITA for overreacting? I know this situation sounds petty but i just don't understand how I can be in the wrong for this. ######

Response:
 YTA

Mostly, because my wife's sister pulled almost the exact same sh!t when we were having our daughter. Eventhough, we had had picked out this name years earlier, we had to change it because my SIL had a conniption fit. My daughter is 13, and I'm still irritated about it. I'm glad your sister is standing her ground.

Yeah, it sucks that things ended badly, but you act like the world should retire that name forever? ######


Prompt: My husband and I just bought a house. It has a big extra room with its own bathroom. I told my sister that she could move into it, since she could use a leg up. When I mentioned this to my husband (btw it’s something we’ve discussed before) he said that he wanted to move his sister into it, because she needs a place closer to work. I don’t like his sister and plus I already told my sister that she would be moving in, so I said that it was sort of a done deal and I’d already discussed this before with him. He said very snidely, “well, at least my sister can actually pay for rent and food.” Which I kind of resent. He implied that since he paid for the down payment that he can make the final decision, as if this isn’t our house and our marriage and our life. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

>I told my sister that she could move into it

>I mentioned this to my husband

>I don’t like his sister

>I already told my sister that she would be moving in

>I said that it was sort of a done deal

>as if this isn’t our house and our marriage and our life.

I don't even need to use MY words ######


Prompt:
My niece usually hang around me when I play video games or watch movies on my computer. Recently I decided to quit smoking so I had a small bowl filled with chewing gums, candies, etc. on my desk. Whenever I felt the urge to smoke I would just grab em.

My niece also enjoys them and I never mind at all.

Today my candy stock was gone and I was planning to refill them in the evening. My niece arrived to watch me play video games and she hand a handful of candies which she got from my Mum. I asked her for a candy and she flatly refused, so I told her, "Go away, I don't want to hang out with a miser". I admit I didn't really meant what I said to her but I was also annoyed. She left and I immediately regret that I told her off. She's just acting like a child after all but I think she's still angry at me during dinner.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

"She's just acting like a child", dude, SHE IS A CHILD, she's six. You're the adult, you need to apologize and take responsibility for your actions. She doesn't understand that you quit smoking or what it does to you in terms of mood and you took her anger our on her. ######


Prompt:
I (20M) live with my large family, and I'm stuck with all of them thanks to the ongoing situation. It's been a tough month, and my mother (47F) has been looking for ways to make money.

She's had some credit card debt. Nothing major, but because her businesses' incomes have dried up, she hasn't had any way to pay her debts off. She's begun making hand sanitizers and face masks to generate some extra income, but she's always on the lookout for more cash to support the family.

A few months ago, she asked me if she could sell my old bike. I agreed, since I don't use it much anymore and it's just rusting in a corner of our storage. It took a while, but today, she was finally able to sell it, as well as my dad's bike.

I helped her to cart it out front and wiped it down before the buyer pulled up and paid for it. After the guy drove off and we went inside, I asked her for my share. She was bemused at first, and asked me who was the one who sold it in the first place. I said it was her, but it is still my bike and my property. She said she'd give me half. I disagreed, and asked her for the full amount as I also need money since I'm saving to move out  sooner than later. I didn't mention the moving out part. That's a sore subject for her. She got upset and started ranting about how unreasonable I'm being and how the money would benefit me anyway once she pays off her debt and how she feeds and houses me and how she bought the bike for me as a gift anyway (6-7 years ago) and how I just horde my money (I don't, it's called savings). I sat silently while she went on for about 5-10 minutes and then she stormed off, got the cash and gave it to me, and is now giving me the cold shoulder. She gave me the full amount for my bike.

My family is making me feel bad for asking for the money, and I even tried to give her a portion, but she refuses to take it. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA

" she's always on the lookout for more cash to support the family. "

" how she feeds and houses me "

"rusting in a corner of our storage"

What are YOU doing to help support the current housing and food situation? I mean seriously I get that you don't like it where you are and want to move out... but you're still there, a grown man,  shoveling food other people pay for into your gob, using the electricity, taking up space in the storage unit and generally being part of the overcrowding situation in a house other people are paying for. ######


Prompt:
This is kind of confusing and hard to understand without knowing the layout of our house.

Last night at around 9:00pm, my girlfriend (22) and I (26) had a big fight. She decided to go on a walk and left me with our 1 year old. Before leaving she asked me to stay awake so I could let her in the house when she got back.

My girlfriend is notorious for getting carried away and going on **super** long walks. My daughter started having a screaming fit and by the time she settled down it was 10:00pm and my girlfriend still wasn't back. I was super tired and decided to shower and go to bed. When I got out of the shower it was 10:30 and she *still* wasn't back.

I was watching tv downstairs, about to go to our room to lay down at around 11:00 when I heard the doorbell ring which meant my girlfriend was home. I was tired and still upset with her so I decided not to go open it and just go to upstairs to our room. We have a spare key hidden in the side-yard, which my girlfriend knows about. I assumed that she would be able to find it and if she couldn't, she would call. I completely knocked out so I guess I didn't hear her ringing the doorbell again.

I found out later that her phone had died so she couldn't call me nor could she use her flashlight to find the key meaning she was completely locked out and had to sleep in her car. She said this triggered her first panic attack in 4 years. She knows I heard the first doorbell ring because she saw the lights turn off inside. It was kind of cold outside too so it would've been way worse if the car wasn't unlocked.

I woke up at like 4 am and realised she wasn't in bed but I just assumed she was on the couch or something.

Obviously, if I had known her phone was dead I would've unlocked the door. It was a complete accident but she's not hearing any of it. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA

*ohmygod*

You heard the doorbell and knew it was her
You couldn't be that lazy that you couldn't unlock the door. You also triggered a panic attack which hasn't happened in 4 years

How could you not be TA?? ######


Prompt:
When I was zoomin with the boys a little bit ago and we were all adding funny backgrounds. I decided to step it up a notch an found an ISIS flag image that worked as zoom background (it’s harder than you think). Well it was a hit with the boys so I kept it on there.

Well today my fiancée joined a zoom using the IPAD for her aunt’s birthday so there were family members on there too. Well the ISIS flag background showed up automatically. She backed out quickly realizing it was up as she knew beforehand that background was on there. But she’s still a little upset that it was on there. I shared this with the Boys and they think it’s funny, and I do too (it’s a good bit).

So am I the asshole or should she lighten up? ######

Response:
 YTA

 it's the fact that it's a shared device and what's fine as a joke between your friends may not be the same for her and anyone else she video chats with while using it. ######


Prompt:
To be clear I dont intend to pick up the phone and just start complaining to him about her. The issue is that he and my MIL think I'm a bad provider for my family because we frequently have money troubles. My wife however ...likes to spend money, as in last year in 7 months she spent 18000 dollars out of budget that I can confirm. So when we fall on hard times (because i can't keep money in savings) she borrows money from her father who is trying to retire and it isn't fair to him. She does this without telling me until after.

I don't really want to cause problems with her and her parents but at this point maybe it'll help her and us if she has to accept responsibility and not just "listen to me overreact"

Additional info: she doesn't work and by my estimate in 8 years she over spent about ...170k-280k dollars. ######

Response: YTA/ESH. You need to sit your wife down and get her spending under control, not tattle to her father. ######


Prompt:
So I (16M) once last year found my English teacher(23F) on tinder and she had some freaky bio, I ignored it and went on with my life.

Then at the beginning of this year, she kinda got upset with me and told me to leave the class (in a very rude manner just a step away from cussing)

So being dumb me I told her if she “wasted less time on tinder looking for hookup like sluts, maybe she would teach better” and then I pointed out to something on her tinder profile.

she was so embarrassed she had to dismiss class because everyone was being a dick and laughing and making jokes about it in front of her.

I was expelled for 3 days.

Thing is up until the pandemic stopping schools, whenever she entered a class everyone indirectly said disrespectful stuff about her and joked and during a 45 minute class, she spent like 20 minuets holding back tears and not showing her embarrassment.

Needless to say I felt like shit, I went up to her and apologized, she seemed very hurt and passive and told me “it’s fine but I want you to know you ruined my career at this school, and put me through therapy and antidepressants after I finally beat it 2 years ago, but I forgive you”.

I was crushed, then the pandemic came about and haven’t heard about her ever since as we had a new English teacher for our zoom meetings.

AITA reddit? And if so how can I fix it? ######

Response:
 YTA.
You can’t undo the damage now unfortunately ######


Prompt: I just met my neighbor yesterday officially and we’re talking and we brought up handwriting. I said schools need to stop teaching cursive because it’s beyond outdated and useless. She got offended because she is a graphologist(someone who studies hand writing) she also wrote her dissertation on it. I told her we’re in a digital age and, need to teach typing. She just brought up emotional points like how beautiful it is to write in cursive. “It’s an essential form of communication”. I asked her how is cursive going to help someone get a job. Most of the words we read today is on a screen. After a while I got frustrated. I said,”just because you studied a useless topic doesn’t mean we should keep living in the past”. Her only argument is that I didn’t graduate. I told her my job is actually important(programmer). “There is a reason why I get paid good and my job is in demand”. She stormed off afterwards. AITA ######

Response:
 YTA.
You can disagree and not insult someone.  Maybe apologize and say simply that you disagree but respect her choice to study a topic of interest to her...no need to be rude because you have different points of view. ######