Prompt: Me, my son, and my daughter go swimming in my pool a lot together. Their mother is MIA. Its been pretty hot here lately so its a good way to cool down as well and we do it very often. My daughter said she wanted to start swimming in the pool topless since me and my son do and its hot. She said it'd be unfair and sexist to let my son and myself swim topless but not her. Obviously girls have boobs but I still take her point so I agreed to let her. So now she swims topless always. Sometimes she swims alone, but we usually all swim at the same time. Her twin brother doesn't mind either. Its also impossible for anyone outside the house to see us when we are swimmimg. My parents said its inappropriate for us to see her breasts when I mentioned it and made a fuss about it. ######

Response:
 NTA - wow, a father that doesn’t sexualise his daughters breasts

You might be the first one I have ever seen on this sub ######


Prompt:
I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.

So I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless.

I got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######

Response: NTA - wine is a totally neutral and appropriate gift to give someone retiring. It’s super nice you wanted to thank her for her work and helping you.  It’s extremely odd your girlfriend is acting jealous of an older woman at your job . ######


Prompt:
I came to live with my parents in Alaska when Universities told their students to go home and I just graduated. Even though I’m on social security, I still managed to save some money for an emergency. I had to leave all of my home goods in the lower 48 and I’m expected to pay for my vehicle and possessions to be driven here. But that’s not the issue.
My sister and her fiancé decided to move back home too because of some hard financial hits and coronavirus cutting her work hours. I asked if I could move in with her when the time comes because generally just want to get a different job and don’t want to live with my parents anymore. I told her I would help pay rent and that we would have strictly roommate relationship rules. She didn’t say anything at first, but a couple days later asked to borrow money from me for the entire deposit, I said yes and that’s when she informed me I wouldn’t be allowed to move with her.

So I’m wanting to know if I would be the asshole if I told her I changed my mind about loaning her the money? I already said I would, I know she’s in a financial situation and I’ll probably never see the money again, but what she did really just... yeah. ######

Response: NTA - why would you put a deposit on a place you won’t be living, when you’ll need a deposit yourself to move into your own place?  She’s being unrealistically selfish. ######


Prompt:
I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one.

I work at a welding shop in the midwest.  It's hot, I sweat.  The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try.

The last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day.

So I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here.  I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk.  Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day.

Work is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts.  I come in, the damn thing is near empty.  Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker.

I've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek.  The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA - why should you buy tp for everyone else at work? ######


Prompt: My dad forced me (age 15 male) into the dual enrollment program at only 15 (if you don’t know what that is, it’s where you go to college and high school at the same time). I have gone to the same small town private school with about 100 students since kindergarten. I’ve never had to try at this school. Everyone gets all As. The curriculum is super easy and everything is pretty much busy work. My dad thinks I’m a super genius and holds me up to crazy standards even though I’ve never really had to try in my whole school career. But college is a whole different world. I worked my ass off and I’m talking about I seriously worked my ass off to get an 87 in a class full of 20 year olds and I just turned 15. My dad learns about this and he absolutely flips. Yelling at me about how I’m going to be a failure in life and that he’s grounding me for the whole summer and how I’m a disappointment and a disgrace to the family. He told me if I didn’t make all As I would never be accepted to a college after high school. This has been going on for a week now. He’s been emailing all my high school teachers and apologizing for my “laziness” and “irresponsibleness” and that he will “discipline me accordingly” even though I make all As in high school. I lashed out on him and told him he can’t speak and told him he was a failure himself because of all of his failed marriages, his kids that he has never even met, the fact he can’t keep a job just to name a few. And now my grandparents and my dad have been pissed of at me for a week now and I don’t know what to do. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - why is he e-mailing your teachers in HS when he's upset about your grades in college? Dude has some crazy high unrealistic views of how he wants your life to be. I don't blame you for lashing out at him, he seems obsessed ######


Prompt:
yea yea i know we’re all sick of leg shaving posts here but i need a second opinion.

i’m currently living with my dad for various reasons after not living with him for a few years. he’s been dropping hints the past day or two that he wants me to shave my legs (ex. commenting on it, offering me a fresh razor) but i don’t want to for various reasons like razor burn. and also we’re not going anywhere where i’d show my legs so why does it matter?

today when i got out of the shower he asked me if i finally shaved my legs and i said no. he said that he thought my legs were “unsightly” (i have dark thick hair and pale skin so i admit the hair does show up quite a bit). i told him about razor burn and ingrown hairs. he replied that “i’ve never met a woman before who didn’t shave their legs”. i answered that most women do not shave their legs when they don’t need to for the aforementioned reasons. he just repeated the same thing. then i started to get mad and i said “i don’t like seeing your arm hair but i don’t ask you to shave it so why do you keep asking me” and he said “don’t get on my case”.

i was really upset at this point, because it felt like he was valuing his aesthetic preference over my comfort. i told him that and once again he said i’m the only girl he’s ever seen who doesn’t shave my legs. i went to my room and now i’m sitting here alone, and i wonder if i was too harsh on him or could i have explained it better. he sounded really exasperated which admittedly made me more upset so i was yelling a bit. maybe i am an asshole but i think he’s one too for not listening to me. i even said “go look online about reasons why women don’t like constantly shaving their legs” and he said “i’m not doing that.” or maybe i’m just making excuses. i don’t know, i’m so frustrated. that’s why i want second opinion(s).

so reddit AITA? and what do i do if i am or am not? ######

Response: NTA - why does your dad care? It's your body and you should be able to chose whether you shave or not. ######


Prompt:
This is so stupid I can't even believe I am typing it out on my mobile but here it is folks cabin fever maybe getting to me so I need some nonbias perspective on this.

So my BF and I are gamers, currently, both of us are WFH. Now, normally gaming time is limited for both of us because of long hours at work and weekends are reserved for downtime. We each have our own systems I have a ps4 pro he has an Xbox one. I personally don't like the Xbox platform (I have my reasons) while he is a lot more versatile. So I will stick to gaming on my ps4 while he bounces in between the two.

Usually, he will every once in a great while play on the ps4. But lately, he's been playing only been playing it for the last two weeks it's to the point where I don't even get a chance to play. Plus the ps4 is in our bedroom he will play into the wee hours of the morning while I'm trying to sleep (I never do this to him). He knows I don't like the Xbox, I also am not into the type of he has for it I like RPGs and buy these, while he buys more strategic games or MMO first-person shooter games which admittedly I hate lol. Idk why but I get very disoriented while playing them. Not only this but he's gone in and beat some of the games I was playing so now I have to start all over.

When I've hinted I would like to play on the ps4 he will say oh just a bit longer, or why don't you go play a game on the Xbox. Basically just brushing me off and it's starting to really aggravate the piss out of me. WIBTA if I told him he needs to stop playing on my ps4 constantly and finishing my games? And also that he's being rude playing at night in the bedroom when I am trying to sleep? ######

Response:
 NTA - Why can't he just play his Xbox, he knows well enough that you don't like that system and only want to play yours. If it's the type of game, then for now a timetable needs to be established for when and how long he can play the PS4. Ultimately, the PS4 is yours, so you have full control over who plays it.

Also he doesn't have his own save files? He doesn't have his own profile either? I know a few games that only use one but he's an adult familiar with gaming so, he definitely should be playing his own saves. If the game only has one, then make a rule that you get to finish the game first if you started it. Right now, he's being extremely inconsiderate. ######


Prompt: Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######

Response: NTA - who plans a wedding for your own child's birthday?! That is really weird. ######


Prompt:
We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.

One of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him.

Then in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.

I told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.

AITA reddit? ######

Response: NTA - Who joins a work meeting while in the middle of a protest? Not exactly professional. ######


Prompt:
Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.

So I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.

I usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.

So husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.

I asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing.

And that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”

Now I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ######

Response: NTA - who has alarms set when everyone has a day off? And then does only half of the job that needs to be done early in the morning? Sleep is critical, especially when you are growing a teacup human. Your body needs time to catch up. ######


Prompt:
My parents wanted me to become a doctor since I was a kid. Even though I had always made it very obvious that I'm not interested at all in studying medicine. I want to study business administration.

I finished high school this year, and have to choose between what career path to choose. My parents died in a car accident over a month ago, and now my family is pressuring me to fulfill their wish.

I've been told that I'm a narcissist, and that I'm self-centered, egoistic and insensitive for not considering their wishes for my future since their death.

AITA for still wanting to pursue the career path that I chose for myself? ######

Response: NTA - while your parents might wanted you to become a doctor, I do think they wanted you to be happy more than this. But the real assholes here the people (I assume relatives) calling you narcissist because what the hell do they know. And how dare they assume they know what your parents wanted. I would be infuriated at them. ######


Prompt:
So I met with a friend this past weekend to chat. We're both 21M white guys and go to the same college, but live about 45 minutes away. We decide to meet halfway at this one cafe.

Anyways, we're chatting about various life topics and the discussion of haircuts come up. He says that not being able to get a haircut is good because he can "blend in" with everyone having bad haircuts (or something along those lines.) Now I've gone to places such as Great Clips my whole life, and started going to a local black barbershop about 3 years ago. The difference was night and day in terms of both the experience and quality of haircut.

So I said to him, "You should try going to a black barbershop. They always get you right" and told him about how good my hair always is, and how the barbers make you feel at home. He responded with a simple "yeah I understand." And we changed the conversation and everything was good I thought.

Today I texted him and asked if he wanted to meet again and he texted back saying he'd be happy to but added "don't bring up weird topics again" I asked him what he meant and he brought up what I told him and said I was borderline racist?? I don't understand what exactly I did wrong in this situation and confused on how it could be racist.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Whether or not it's a "stereotype", I'm almost positive this is a real thing. I'm white and I have typically gotten my hair cut by black barbers. It's not racist - it's a different style in terms of how they go about cutting your hair. I feel like he definitely overreacted and frankly, I'm not a fan of people deciding to get offended for other ethnic groups that they aren't a part of, with the exception being clear-cut and/or egregious offenses. ######


Prompt:
Our son(16) had bulimia, he’s recovering. Almost every time he goes to bathroom, my wife follows him and stands right by the door. I understand that she’s really worried, I am too, but I think she’s doing too much here. Our son has asked her to stop, she stops for 2-3 days and then does the same.

Yesterday I had a talk with her and asked her to stop doing it because it makes our son really uncomfortable. She got upset and said that I’m being insensitive and not considering her feeling. We haven’t talked about it more and she’s giving me cold shoulder. ######

Response:
 NTA - what your wife is doing to make *herself* feel better, is making your son (the one battling an eating disorder) feel *much much worse*.

As a parent, you don’t get to make yourself feel better to the detriment of your sick child like this - no offense, but it’s disgusting.

I know what all of you are going through is crazy right now, but if your wife isn’t part of the solution (love, support), she is part of the problem (contributing to anxiety).

Don’t let your wife be part of the problem.  Protect your son. ######


Prompt:
When my wife was younger she lived off takeaways or she didn't eat, her dad would buy her 2litre bottles  of coke when she was 6+ so she never really had that healthy relationship with food, she also never got to leave the house unless it was for school.

She is obsessed with eating healthy and exercising, this became worse when we had children (13F,11F,4M)

The children love exercise and that's great, our eldest is in football and track and our other daughter is in gymnastics and ballet.

My wife loves making them eat healthy too, their breakfast this morning was a spinach and tuna wrap with a fruit salad on side

Their lunch is going to be Shaved Carrot and Radish Salad.

They're allowed one cheat snack a week but the rest of the time they're only allowed fruit or vegetables and that's great but they should be allowed stuff like biscuits in my opinion.

This is where the problem has started, I'm a little frustrated at the food because let them be kids and stop taking your own issues out on them,  then while they're playing video games in the study she comes in trying to get our eldest to come out and play football in the garden with her and the youngest.

Her; hey *eldest* come play football with me and your brother? Better than sitting around all day and not being productive!

Me; babe, kids are allowed to have some lazy days it's fine!

Her; no it isn't! They should be out exercising, getting fresh air, NOT getting eye strain on the console

(Their screen time used to be 2hrs a week on xbox)

I may have snapped and told her to leave the children alone.

She got all teary eyed and we haven't spoken since.

I thought I was in the right but after speaking to my sister she says I was the AH
AITA? ######

Response: NTA - What your wife is doing is also not creating healthy options with exercise and eating. What is going to happen as these kids get more independent? They're going to discover some stuff and have to develop their own method of self-control when they don't have it because your wife has been over the top. ######


Prompt:
So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.

This morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######

Response:
 NTA - what is it about low level management and their obsession with thier employees bathroom habits?  I had this many years ago when I worked in a call centre. Every bathroom break was timed and we would be interrogated if we were “off the dialler” for more than 4 minutes.

“What were you doing in there? The guys manage to stay under 4 minutes”

“I was unzipping, sitting down, doing my stuff, wiping, changing my tampon, standing up, zipping myself back up, walking out of the stall and washing my hands”

“Ok ok TMI!!” ######


Prompt: Not too much to say, but she wants to lose weight and I keep telling her not eating isnt the way to go, she needs to just eat the right type of foods and exercise. But shes really mad that I dont want her to only have water for 20 days to lose weight. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - water fasting is not recommended for more than 72hrs without medical supervision.

Tell her if she's serious, she should consult with her primary doctor (who will tell her hell no). ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...

We work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.

I get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.

This isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.

So, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######

Response:
 NTA - Though I think the bigger issue here is why he didn't simply ask you?

I'm not one of those "omg druuuugs!" people, but if your boyfriend is that anxious for weed he thinks it's okay to steal yours, he might have a problem. Either way though, even if it's not about a possible substance problem, what you've described, especially in your last sentence, is gaslighting. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account, on mobile, first time poster, etc.

My partner (20M) “Jack” and I (20F) recently decided to get married. We have been starting to plan some broad aspects of our wedding so we’ll know more of what we’re looking for when we set them in stone. One thing we’ve started looking at is the number of guests we’re going to be inviting, since we want it to be as small of an affair as it can be with our large families.

This has me a little concerned about two guests I really want to invite: my ex best friend “Lindy”’s (20F) parents. Lindy and I were friends for about 15 years, but she basically ghosted me and told me I wasn’t her friend and she didn’t want me to contact her ever again. However, I have maintained some contact with her parents, who actually took my side and apologized for her. We have met in public a few times (I live in a different city now so not often) and they have met Jack. I sent them a card when they went through a tragedy, whenever we run into each other they are always so happy to see me. Overall I would say my relationship with them is great, and if they were not her parents there would be no question that we would invite them to the wedding.

I don’t know if I’d be an asshole for inviting them, since I have zero interest in inviting Lindy. If I invited them, I’m concerned it would look like I was still bitter toward Lindy. Also, I feel bad for probably putting them in a tough position, having to choose between myself and their daughter.

I asked Jack what he thought about it, and he said that if I would invite them if Lindy wasn’t their daughter, it shouldn’t make a difference that she is their daughter, especially since she was the one who ended the friendship and not me. I am still unsure, but I want to sort this out ASAP so that it doesn’t become a major stresser for me later.

WIBTA if I invited them even though I’m not inviting their daughter? ######

Response:
 NTA - This would be no different if you knew an older couple that had a daughter that you didn’t know. You would invite the people you like and know.

Your former friend might be upset. And honestly she should be.  People shouldn’t treat their friends in such a fashion. Friendships end, but to declare it over - is immature. ######


Prompt: I just found out that my husband agreed to be written into his sister's will saying we will adopt her two daughters if anything happens to her and her husband. This has never been discussed. He works away all the time so it would actually be me looking after them. I know it's a 'hopefully it'll never happen' thing but still I feel I should have been consulted. And none of my OH family can understand why I'm pissed off about this. I want it removed but they say it'll never come to that anyway. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - This was a complete violation for your husband to make this promise on your behalf. Don't worry about the larger family, *he's* the one who should realize his (huge) mistake and fix things. ######


Prompt:
A little background info; we just had a baby five months ago, I’m working from home juggling everything and he just sits around and stares at his phone when he’s home from work. His only contributions to the house are taking out the garbage and scooping cat litter. I make double what he makes, pay the majority of the bills and pay for 98% of the expenses for our child.

So since the baby has been born, my husband loves to ask stupid questions he can obviously see the answers to, like the bottle is in my baby’s mouth and she’s sucking, and he’s asking “is she eating?” (This happens every feeding he’s home to see) if I’m making dinner, he’ll walk into the kitchen and ask if I’m making dinner, when all he has to do is look and he’ll see I am. It’s incessant, and I’m actually more tired answering him all day than I am from working and the baby.

Today the baby woke up earlier than normal, due to a poopy diaper. She’s a pretty happy girl, but can be a handful. He came in while I was mid poop cleaning and asked if she pooped. 20 minutes later, she spit up on me, it got on my shirt, so I stripped it off and went with her to the closet to put a new one on. “Are you changing your shirt?” I lost it.

I’m not sure if I’m TA or not, because after 5 months of this, I cannot take it anymore. I asked him why he’s constantly asking questions he can observe and see the responses to, and how obvious they are, and he said “I don’t care what you do” Well, you obviously do if you’re up my ass all day long.

So, Reddit, AITA for asking him to stop? ######

Response:
 NTA - This scene between Summer and Jerry, on Rick & Morty, comes to mind...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Si-s4xLZU5w

Jerry walks into the living room where the TV is on, and Summer is on her phone...

“Jerry: What' you doing? Watching some tv, playing on your phone?

Summer: Is that a real question?

Jerry: Just making conversation.

Summer: Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choice is to: say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark "yes" like a trained animal. It's not a conversation; you're holding me verbally hostage.” ######


Prompt:
My great-great-grandmother’s engagement ring has been in our family for generations and is traditionally given to the oldest son to propose to his future wife with. Per that tradition the ring should go to my older brother Jake, who is gay and wants to propose to his partner of four years, Ben. However my mom refused and said that the ring should go to my younger brother Mike instead because Ben is not a woman and gay marriage is not legal in our country. She suggested having another ring made for Ben using some of the other jewelry that belonged to my grandmother.

I’m the middle child and I’m female so the ring won’t go to me either way, (not that I want it because I’m not a fan of the vintage look) and I’ve tried to stay out of the discussion. Jake asked me to help him convince our mom that she’s being homophobic and she should give the ring to Jake to propose to Ben with in accordance to the family tradition. When I told him that I don’t really want to get involved in their argument, he accused me of being homophobic.

For the record, I’m fine with Jake’s sexual orientation and I fully accept Ben as his partner. I just don’t want to back anyone because I think they both have a point and I’m not even sure who’s ‘more’ right. My parents are very traditional but they’ve done their best to accept Jake and Ben. We invite Ben to all of our family’s events, my mom tries to bond with him by teaching him how to cook Jake’s favorite foods growing up, and my dad gifted Ben with a gold necklace engraved with Jake’s name on his last birthday.

Am I the asshole for wanting to stay out of this instead of taking Jake's side? ######

Response:
 NTA - This really has 0 to do with you.
The fight is between them. ######


Prompt:
She hasn't bathed, changed clothes, or done any household things since Animal crossing/doom released. I pre-ordered both and a few more things for her as a semi early anniversary gift and she absolutely loves them... Too much.

I didn't say a word the first few days, I understand excitement but once it got close to a week I made a bath for her and she said she'd get to it later. Later as in 2 hours when the water was cold so she was no longer interested. After that I'd remind her every other day before work but no luck. I'd come home and she'd still be in the same clothes, playing something, and "starving" half the time because she'd get too into the game and forget to eat. I'd cook supper and hear about her day which would always be game accomplishments.

 She has no known mental health problems and it's definitely not depression, in fact it feels quite the opposite. She gets super happy and excited about almost anything and bad news is always faced with optimism. I knew she'd cling to the games but I would have never imagined it being this bad.

Today she was able to start playing a new one I pre-ordered and admitted she's probably not leaving the room for a day or so. I outright asked that she takes a shower before she starts paying but that didn't go well because she's really looking forward to it. I had had enough. It's gross and I already moved to the couch a week ago so I explained that if she wants to live that way fine, I'll be moving to our shed (it has AC and power so it's not bad at all) until she bathes and that upset her because she felt like she was being treated like a child and being forced to do things. I told her she was acting like a child and started packing my shit. She swears I'm being "a jerk" and I personally feel I was slightly over dramatic but I was pushed to this point.

Bonus info. We're both in our mid 20s, no kids, no intent on kids, and I have a halfway decent job so she stayed at home long before the current situation. ######

Response:
 NTA - this isn’t normal behaviour - it’s compulsive behaviour and almost seems like addiction. It’s interrupting her normal life - which presumably would usually involve showering - so this isn’t normal.

However it might be worth talking to her about why she has abandoned her normal life and taking care of herself for these games.

You say she doesn’t have mental health issues but she’s putting *feeding herself* as a lower priority than these games. Something is going on. ######


Prompt:
13 F here. I've got 4 close friends, all 13. And, like 13 year olds, we like to be play videogames together. The problem is, I'm the only one with a pc, and enough controllers to play all 5.

None of my friends have anything to play on, so they all wanna visit me when we wanna do something together. That's fine, I like them, and I love playing with them. We always have a lot of fun. But every time we're at my place, they screech, scream, yell, curse, and make huge messes. I have a brother, who's room is right next to mine, and he always lends me enough controllers to play, as I only have one. And I repay him with 4 hours of non-stop screaming.

I'm not saying I don't scream too, I'm no better than them. But my parents are beginning to grow tired of it.

On top of the noise, they make huge messes. A girl brings popcorn, and they fight about it until the floors covered. Another girl makes coffee, and there's coffee grounds everywhere. Another girl makes hot chocolate, and she drips chocolate all the way from the machine to the bin. Another girl gets impatient, and begins looking through my stuff, and completely covers my bed with random stuff from my shelves "to look at it"

I spend hours after they leave, my parents give me a lecture about visiting someone else next time, and I ask them to maybe go visit someone else next time?

They all get a no.

I'm just so fucking tired of dealing with this shit like 3 times a month. But I don't want to say no.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA - This isn't the way friends hang out in other friends' homes. They're supposed to respect your family/ whoever lives in your house. They're also supposed to  clean after themselves. You talk with your parents and ask them if it's okay to use them as an excuse to tell your friends that they don't want anyone over cuz of social distancing. No is one complete sentence. If they said, "Hey let's go to your house.""Sorry, no can do." "Why?"" Just can't have anyone over." Leave it at that. Another way to get them not interested is by telling them that the computer now belongs to a family member and no one can use it cuz of work. It's better to have an honest chat with your parents and see which excuse holds best for you and for them to back up. ######


Prompt:
So, I have a larger SUV that I absolutely love, but I’m trading it for something bigger.

My dad suggested that I let my stepmom buy my car for my payoff. I am in a bunch of positive equity because we put quite a bit down, doubled a lot of payments, and it doesn’t have very many miles.

So for example, my trade in value is $32,000. My payoff is $19,000. I told my dad that I would absolutely not sell it to him for that because though that’s what I owe, I’ve paid a lot on it and it’s worth way more than that.

He said “family doesn’t try to make money off of one another” okay but I’m not making any money off because I’ve already paid that towards the car? And I have to pay it off? So I didn’t get invited to Father’s Day and I don’t know which of us is the asshole but I think it’s him. ######

Response:
 NTA - This is your vehicle. From what I understand, you purchased this vehicle on your own. You can get $32k for it, of which you must pay back $19k, putting you $13k in the black, which is remarkable for a leased vehicle.

It's just... Why the hell wouldn't you do that? If she has $19k for purchasing a vehicle, she could get a certified pre-owned to suit her needs easily.

The only way I'd see an argument otherwise is if your dad had been helping you with payments. ######


Prompt:
My Mother Smashed My Phone

Okay so the people in this story are me (Me) and my mother (Mom). This whole thing started because she felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with her, so she wanted me to play a game with her. I said yes, and so we started playing Euchre, a card game for those who don’t know.

Mom: God you look so funny.

Me: Well I mean it is quarantine so I can’t get a haircut right now, maybe that’s why.

Mom: You’re such a jerk, why are you always so mean to me?

Me: Mom that wasn’t mean, I-

Mom: Oh shut up, I don’t want to deal with you anymore.

Me: Okay I think I’m going to be done playing for now, I’m going to bed.

I then went down to my room and was texting when she sent me a nasty text, telling me to “f__k off” and that she “didn’t want to see me anymore.”

This next part is texting.

Me: What did I do exactly?

Mom: You’re hurting everyone in this family. You’re so mean to everyone and no one likes you. Why do you never want to spend time with me?

Me: Well maybe if your weren’t so mean I would want to. Besides, when you get mad you throw things around then storm off too your room.

Mom: F__k you. You’re so f__king disrespectful.

At this point I turned off my phone and was going to go to bed, when she stormed into my room and took my phone. As she was walking away she slammed it into the hardwood floor several times, then threw it against a brick wall we have. This shattered my phone and ruined it. I wouldn’t be mad except I paid for it, and this is the second time it happened. I am typing this from my brother’s phone. I already apologized for the rude thing I said, but she still hasn’t apologized for the things she said. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - this is very wrong. Can you leave? might be worth a crosspost to r/insaneparents for extra advice as well. ######


Prompt:
Throw away account. Okay so I’m at a crossroad atm. A friend and I moved in together last year, but now we’re going to separate apartments. We got along really well, and moved out due to the fact that she got a boyfriend and wanted to move in with him.

Anyways, when it came to the security deposit, I offered to help her clean it since we split the security deposit. My friend insisted that her and her mom clean it since her mom is a professional cleaner and would clean better than me. Once again, I offered to help but they said that they don’t mind doing it.

A few days later, I get a text from my friend, asking if I could give her an extra $200 from my portion of the deposit since her and her mom spent five hours cleaning the place. The conversation went like this

Her: Hey! So mom and I were talking and think it’d be fair if you gave us $200 for cleaning the apartment

Me: Wait, what? Uhh no. I offered to help clean it. Had I known you were gunna charge me, I wouldn’t have had your mom clean it...

Her: Wtf, it took us five hours. My mom has a $80 an hour rate to clean houses.... we spent five hours cleaning it. $200 from the deposit is a steal.

Me: Like I said, no. I’m sorry but if you brought up that you were gunna charge me, I would have cleaned the house myself.

Now my friend is mad at me because to her, I’m being unfair. I told her she was being unfair because she should have told me that they were gunna charge me in the beginning. Also, the deposit was $1,000 so I’d only get $500. If they took $200, then I’d only get $300.

Tl;dr- Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay my friend and her mom to professionally clean the apartment? ######

Response: NTA - this is the equivalent of scummy business up charging you for doing things that you didn’t ask for without your permission. ######


Prompt:
Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family.

Am the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell?

Had the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago

Edit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion.

AITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me

Edit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######

Response: NTA - This is an extremely sensitive matter. Quite honestly it was none of his family's business. I hope you are recovering well and stay emotionally strong despite the circumstances. Might be time to invest in a new boyfriend. ######


Prompt:
So at my job me and “Cindy” have been friends throughout university & when we graduated we both went to this company and have been here for a couple years now. I’m now 27m and she’s 28f and has been in a long term relationship for about 7 years. Her BF “Tim” was a good buddy of mine and we still hang out from time to time. Anyways so their 7th anniversary is today. Cindy’s been excited because she’s been sure that Tim’s gonna propose to her tonight. She was telling the office that he booked dinner at a suuuuper upscale restaurant in our city and some other fun things as well.

I was mentioning this to my GF when I got home and then I was like Tim better propose tonight cause she’s been looking forward to it for SO long. My GF just gave a weird look and didn’t respond. Then later on, Cindy was sending messages in our work group chat and she was saying that she had already gotten drunk and if he proposes then she’ll just be a blubbering mess and won’t even be able to say yes. I started laughing and then my girlfriend asked whats up and I was telling her then she interrupted me and said it’s a bit strange that I’m so invested in their relationship. I said that’s an exaggeration, I have no emotional or otherwise stake in that relationship but I think they’re a great pair and should get married because I know for a fact that both of them want to.

Anyways I tried to explain this to her and she wouldn’t budge on the matter. She’s iced me out for the rest of the day so I just left and went back to my place. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - this doesn’t even seem like you’re invested in her relationship. Your coworker shared something with the office that you decided was interesting enough to share with your girlfriend. If it’s unusual for her to act like this maybe something else is going on with her. Is she maybe hoping for a proposal from you? ######


Prompt:
Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled "HEY!" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said "your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc." Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?
Tl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######

Response: NTA - this could go straight to r/entitledparents ######


Prompt:
This isn't just me, it includes my twin brother. My brother and I (17m) were an accidental pregnancy. For context, our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who goes to our high school. Our nearest sibling in age is 28.

My parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kid of cold our whole childhood.

My brother and I will graduate high school in about a week, and will be 18 in two weeks. My parents have told us that as soon has we turn 18, we will have to pay rent. Neither of us have jobs, and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now.

I confided in my sister that I'm really stressed about this, and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in University, completely free of charge. I'm really grateful for this, and we're planning on accepting her offer.

I told my parents about this, and they freaked out. I guess my mom was planning to move to part time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent. They said that they have provided for us our whole lives, and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults.

I mean, it's true. They have given us everything we needed for 18 years, and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent, but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - They’re truing to take advantage of you. When I turned 18, my parents would have let me stay with them for free, if that was what I needed while going to school. They shouldn’t be using you and your brother for extra income. Live with your sister. ######


Prompt: A girl from my high school posted a video of herself screaming the n word with her mother. Another girl posted a picture of herself with blackface and calling herself a n word on her Snapchat story. She also happened to have a VSCO account where she posts pictures of her weed and alcohol. I emailed my principal and my state’s athletic association that manages my school’s sports. My friends thought that I did the right thing, but my parents got mad at me when I told them what I did. They said that I was ruining the girls’ lives and that they didn’t deserve to be kicked out of school since they were young. Now I think it wasn’t my place to report them. So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - they're in high school, they're old enough to not be racist pricks. ######


Prompt:
Despite social distancing guide lines, my mom seems to want to invite a new person over every other day. Not only that she tends to have a bad habit of asking me to take on much of the hosting responsabilities like cooking, catering, and entertaining.

Today mom invited some of her friends and their gaggle of kids to play in the pool. She was doing most of the catering this time which was nice sense I wasn't interested in being there. this was partially because I was tired from all these social gatherings but also because I'm trying to do my own things in my room.

They all went to the backyard so I went to my room and started setting up my art project. Minutes later mom starts calling my name. I go to see what's wrong. It turns out she's tired. She wants me to come downstairs so she can take a nap in her room. I *really* didn't want to hang out with them.

She said, *"Oh come on. you can just stay here in the living room. It's just in case they need anything. You can even bring you art stuff down here."*

Here's the kicker: We have a macaw who is bonded to me. When other people are around she's relatively quiet but if I'm there she flips out and tries her darndest to get me to pick her up. I have ADHD. I *cannot* consentrate on my work when she's clinging to me. I just can't. I need piece and quiet.

I put my foot down and told mom that I did not want to be downstairs right now. She got really annoyed but didn't fight it any further. Moments later I heard her tell her friends that she was going to sleep on the couch instead.

Now I feel bad that I refused to help. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - they were your mother's guests not yours.  And she could have told them she was tired and asked them to leave. ######


Prompt: My (26F) boyfriend (25M) gifted me a pair of expensive headphones he got for free last year. I’ve been using them pretty regularly since, and he’s been away travelling for much of the time. Now he’s home and staying with me because of current circumstances and has been using my headphones quite a bit while I’ve been at work (I’m fine with this). When I got home from work this afternoon he asked if he could have them permanently. I laughed and said no I use them and they were a gift. Now he keeps asking and borderline begging me for them saying he’s “stressed” about not having headphones when he goes back to travelling for work, even though we don’t know when that will be. They’re expensive headphones and I don’t really know why he can’t buy his own cheaper headphones if he doesn’t want to spend that much money right now. I bought his plane ticket home and have been fully paying the rent and most of the groceries while he’s been here. He said he’d buy me cheap ones that have a cord (the ones in question are cordless) in exchange, but I’ve gotten used to having the cordless ones... should I just let it go and give him the headphones? It seems a petty thing to fight over but I think it’s rude to ask for a gift back a year after the fact. AITA?? ######

Response: NTA - they were a gift, full stop. Grown people don't sulk like 6-year-olds who traded away their favorite baseball card. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So.

My full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version.

There is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz.

I HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.

And everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.

Some of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.

I know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.

I've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms.

So now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######

Response: NTA - they should respect you enough to stop making you feel uncomfortable. _They_ are the assholes. I hope your strategy works and they stop calling you by that nickname. ######


Prompt: So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ######

Response: NTA - they said they were using it for school. Middle schoolers don’t have summer assignments. It’s clear they were using it for other things and when they noticed it wasn’t working, tried bribing you. They should definitely have their own internet set up by now. ######


Prompt:
I apologize for the weird title, I don’t even know where to start with this.

I dipped into my savings and gave my older brother’s son $450 to get himself a used/refurbished PS4 and some games. Josh is 14 and he has been wanting one forever. I wanted to help him get one so we can play together.

I gave him the cash, and I honestly forgot about it for a couple of weeks. I understood he was at his parents mercy to get it, and it may take them some time.

Thought about it recently, called him up and asked him what happened to the PlayStation. He said he decided to do something else with the money, when I asked what he told me he gave it to the church so his family would have more money later. He said his dad would give him a PlayStation when they got the money back.

I’m seeing red. I hang up with him and call my brother and ask him what the fuck they did with my money. He made it a point to tell me that Josh chose to give his money to the church that they watch on TV.

I told him that the money was for a PlayStation. He said that he would buy a PlayStation when they got the money back. I asked for a date on the return, and he didn’t have one. I told him he had a week to give my my money back.

Then he starts crying about how they’re hand to mouth and he can’t afford to give me $450. I told him I didn’t care.

Then his wife goes to Facebook and starts begging my other family members for the money. Talking about how her son made the choice to give to god and not video games, and I’m punishing them for it by taking money from them.

My family is all crying fowl, and telling me that Josh made his choice and I have no right to demand the money back. I’ve made it clear to my brother and the rest of my family that I’m expecting the money as soon as possible.

The amount of backlash I’m getting is making me wonder if I’m an asshole for asking for this money back even though he’s struggling. In my mind he has stolen this money from me. AITA for demanding it back? ######

Response:
 NTA - they don’t have any money to eat but they gave $450 to a church? They aren’t “expecting it back” - they’ve been sweet talked by a manipulative “pastor.” It’s prosperity gospel bullshit.

Buy the kid the PS4 yourself next time. Your brother is nuts. ######


Prompt: I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - They delayed multiple times already. They are wasting your time, if you have a solid lead and they are willing to sign today, do it. But as soon as it's signed, send notice to the other person the apartment is no longer available so they know to keep looking. Don't argue (which they might want to do), just inform them of the change of status as a courtesy. ######


Prompt:
My apartment complex just repaved and repainted the parking lot. They added one more parking spot to our area for our building and by doing so, the spots are much smaller.

A person who lives here and has advertisements for his $59 DUI school/drivers ed company(oh the irony), hit my fiancee's brand new Honda CRV while parking last night. He parked so close she had to use the passenger side door to get in this morning so she didn't see the damage until she got home at 5pm today. He didn't leave a note or acknowledge it at all. We took pictures of his car and our car and I had to decide what to do.

The damage is minimal, but damage nonetheless. I called my insurance and they said to get a police report. So I called the police and they came, inspected the damage, confirmed the damage matches both cars. The owner of the other vehicle came out and asked what was happening, just as I was walking back to my apartment to wait for the police to review everything. They came to my apartment and told me he denied it but still gave his insurance information.

The police told me that I need to file my own report online and enter the information he gave me. So I filed a report and a claim with my insurance. Unfortunately we both have Geico, not sure what will happen.

My fiancee said I took it too far and potentially put us in danger since he might know where we live and what car we drive. I figured it would teach this guy and potentially bring it to the complex's attention that the spaces are too close. I also called them to let them know. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - they damaged your partner's car and should be held accountable. If any funny business occurs after this, there will be the police report that you can refer back to, and the police can get the contact details from the insurer, right? ######


Prompt:
I was attempting to serve legal documents upon someone who we'll call Jane Doe, who had reportedly been evading process servers for some time.

I went to their address and a female roommate confirmed that the address was correct, but the person I was looking for was at work.

I returned the next day and was told by a male resident that the person I was looking for no longer lived there. I obviously assumed this was a lie, but left temporarily and obtained details of Jane Doe's registered vehicles to be sure.

When I returned again, I confirmed that her vehicles were at the house, but nobody answered the door.  I returned for the final time a couple hours later and found both the male and female roommates that I had already talked to outside on the driveway.  The female roommate changed her story and the male roommate insisted the person didn't live there anymore. I pointed out their contradicting stories and the fact that Jane Doe's vehicles were there.  Finally the male roommate (we'll call him John Doe) tried to snatch the documents from me and I lost my temper a bit.

After a quick verbal argument (I basically told them I was tired of their bullshit and not to try to touch me or the documents again), John Doe admitted to formerly being Jane Doe.  He had transitioned and now goes by John Doe.  I was still pissed off but gave the documents over, told them I would notify the client of the name change, and left.

I later received an email complaint (they didn't realize it would go directly to me) essentially saying I was a bigot and insensitive and how wrong it was to force someone to reveal their deadname.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - they created this problem by evading service. Had they just said that they used to be person A and now go by person B it all could have been handled without an issue. Transitioning doesn’t give you a legal do-over. ######


Prompt:
I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now.

My mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.

The money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it.

I have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019.

In February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.

Today my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.

AITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######

Response: NTA - they are trying to guilt you. You gave them a lot of notice ... you helped them out for years. Time to focus on you and your children. Congratulations on the new baby! ######


Prompt: My son is bisexual. I got no problem with his lifestyle. Before you want to burn me i'm a bisexual male also. But when my son is online with his friends as a joke or a gesture. He makes a slurping noice. I mean i'm not stupid. I know what it insinuates. As his dad it just creeps me out. I told him if anyone of my other kids did it. I would say the same thing. I asked him nicely. I just said hey umm don't you think that would make me a tad uncomfortable? I respect he lives here at home and helps us out. ######

Response: NTA - There’s only so much a person can put up with before it starts to annoy them. And it seems like this is one of those things. There’s no issue with asking your son to stop with the sexual noises, you’re his dad after all and I’m pretty sure you don’t need those type of noises or images in your head. ######


Prompt:
I’m cis but some people around me insist I’m trans. AITA for being mad?

I’m a cisgender woman, I’m a lesbian and have a pretty butch look (short hair, tall, broad-shouldered) but I solidly identify as female. Repeatedly throughout my life, I have been told by multiple people that I may be trans or am in denial about it, and it has gotten extremely frustrating for me because it has gotten to a pretty far point where I’m nearly living my life as a male even though I’m not male and I don’t want to be. In my group home when I was around 14 I was called by a male name instead of my female name assigned at birth, and was told by multiple peers (including trans friends) that I was trans like them. I know they didn’t mean any harm, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, because I’m not male and being misgendered all the time made me start questioning my identity even though previously I had no issue with it. I came out to my mom a couple years ago and she told me she thought I was trans and not gay. My mom told me she believes I have the spirit of a boy and I may be confused (she’s both homophobic and transphobic, so I’m not sure why she would care either, but I think it would be easier for her to accept that I am trans rather than having an extremely masculine daughter).

When she made a joke about me being male recently, I got angry and told her that she and everyone else who’s said the same thing is misrepresenting who I am. We got in a fight about it and I argued that I want her to stop talking about it and she explained that she believes butch lesbian and trans are the same thing, and I’m just trying to be a boy. I’m not sure if she misunderstands or if she’s saying that to spite me. I’ve been sort of afraid to say anything back to these people because I don’t want to come off as transphobic and I acknowledge I should’ve set boundaries at the beginning.  AITA for getting mad at her comments? ######

Response: NTA - There's a term out there, "gender policing."  I believe that's what you're looking for.  Gender policing can be particularly bad for women that don't conform to people's stereotypes of that femininity is.  I'm not lesbian myself nor am I trans.  However, as a child I preferred so-called "boys" clothes, had mostly male friends, did some hobbies that had more boys than girls, etc.  I was known as a tomboy. As a result, I got called certain slurs in middle school & also had people accusing of being lesbian, etc.  I had an adult in my family tell me I would be a bad mom someday if I had kids, based on my supposedly masculine behavior.  I had an elder say my chosen profession as a young adult was "men's work." What I'm saying is your experience is far from unique in this regard.  When people don't think you fit in a box, they can be awful.  You're female and they can deal with that fact. ######


Prompt:
Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney.

I have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces.

I then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures  I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.

Here is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy.  She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.

English is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ######

Response: NTA - There are some serious double standards going on in your household. It shouldn't be ok for either of you to invade each other's privacy and steal lego pieces and you went to your mom first to try to resolve the situation. ######


Prompt:
Everything I ever heard out of this woman was about the "Boren Clan" and how she's a "Proud Boren." Forget that she got married and took her husband's name, and her kids have the husband's name. It's all about the Boren clan.

So, when I had my kid, all I heard from her was this and that trait are from the "Boren Clan." It wasn't "Oh, look, THIS, just like dad" or "THIS, just like mom." It was "THIS, just like a Boren. The baby is a true BOREN." Anything that was not "Boren" she was confused on, because "That's not on my side." She would literally say "That's strange. I've never seen a Boren with freckles. Where could they have gotten that from?" My response of "Some in my side of the family have freckles," was met with "Really? That is weird. Boren's don't have freckles." I don't know if she's playing stupid or is genuinely confused on how genes work.

This has been going on for years and I kind of lost it this weekend. I essentially told her last time I checked, a child has two sets of genes: one from the mother and one from the father. But if she wanted to throw the grandparents, then there would be 4 sets of genes fighting for dominance. But at the end of the day the genes that matter are SO and MINE, and she needs to stop making it sound like my genes don't exist.

My SO found out and said I was mean in my response. But was I? Was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - The woman is ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
(Edit: this is a throwaway and I’m on mobile!)

I think the waiter is the butthole in this situation, but you be the judge. This happened last year but I’m still salty.

I took my boyfriend to Hawaii for his birthday weekend last year and had a whole itinerary planned to make him feel special and celebrated. For his birthday dinner (on his actual birthday) I booked a dinner at the nicest restaurant on the island at the fanciest hotel on the island overlooking the beach. It rhymes with the floor reasons.

The restaurant was aware it was his birthday and upon being seated the waiter asked “happy birthday! Would you like a glass of celebratory champagne?”
We were like aw yes we absolutely would
He was like “wonderful is [some brand I wasn’t familiar with] ok?” We said sure sounds fine (spoiler: it was not fine)

Waiter returns with a glass for each of us and we enjoy them, order some cocktails and a truly impressive spread of appetizers and entrees, and settle in to a lovely birthday dinner. My boyfriend has a great time, I’m sitting smug at being such a great girlfriend. Then the bill arrives.

The celebratory glasses of champagne were $70 each! I knew this was going to be an expensive dinner and was happy to splurge, but assumed the “celebratory” meant complimentary, especially since there was no complimentary dessert or anything offered for his literal birthday. Because I didn’t want to sour the mood I paid it but left only a 15% tip (instead of my usual 20%+).

I am still pretty upset and want to leave a review for the place as everything else was wonderful and this really put a damper on the evening. AITA for being upset I had to pay ~$200 for two glasses of “celebratory” champagne (inc tax+tip)? WIBTA if I left a review of this experience?

Some friends think it’s not that unusual I’m am being petty and cheap but I disagree. ######

Response: Nta - the way that was phrased made it very misleading and the price per glass underscores the issue. ######


Prompt:
I was talking to my 7 year old yesterday when she told me that she fell down a flight of stairs last week. She was not hurt however, because if that were the case I would have known and I did not know about it til she told me.

I gave her teacher a call and she conformed that it was true. According to the teacher daughter she was trying to sneak upstairs during break time and was caught by a school prefect. She tried to run but lost her balance and fell down a flight of stairs.

The prefect went to a teacher who found my daughter crying at the bottom of the stairs. She was taken to the school nurse and was found to be completely fine, not hurt in any way. The teachers then decided that it wasn't an issue and this incident went as if it never happened.

I was livid. The fact that my child fell down a flight of stairs, which could normally end up badly, was hidden from me just because she was miraculously unhurt? I don't know, this sounds wrong in so many ways. I should have the right to know if anything happened to my child in school out of the ordinary.

I posted this incident on social media while demanding an explanation from the school. I was told by the school  that they hope that I could put it down because I am giving my daugher unnecessary attention. At the end of the day she was not hurt and I should just move on like she did. True to that, my daughter seems to be over it and doesn't seems to care. Should I drop this? Am I being the selfish AH for blowing this up? ######

Response:
 NTA - the school is asking you to take it down because you're giving the **school** attention in a negative light.  That said, I don't think posting on social media is the most effective way of dealing with this.  You should be trying to organize a meeting with the head teacher, and if they won't do anything about it, the school superintendent.

It's completely ridiculous to not tell you that that happened.  Brain injuries are notorious for lying low for a while before suddenly becoming very serious.  If there's any possibility that they've bonked their head, they need to be monitored for signs of brain injury for at least a day, even if they seem fine straight after the incident. ######


Prompt:
Tonight I ordered in food from DD.

My building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box.

About 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.

Getting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.

Typcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left.
Honestly I do not know if it removes
the tip, which was not my intent.

It's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ######

Response: NTA - the person who is listed as your driver in the app is the person who is registered with the company and who should be handling all orders/communication. The driver should get in trouble honestly, no you’re not TA. ######


Prompt:
New here, sorry if I am not doing this the right way. I am arguing with my bf because I threw his socks away. Here is a bit of back story...He has a problem with calling or texting me when he is going to be late coming home. I honestly don't care what he is doing, just if he is gonna be late coming home I just want him to call me quick or shoot me a text letting me know so I'm not worried. He thinks I am trying to control him and be his mother so we always argue about I am not his mother I can't tell him what to do blah blah. Anyway, he also has a habit of being a slob and leaving his things all over for me to pick up..you know the one who isn't his mother..he doesn't get the irony there..lol. So a few days ago he left his socks on the living room floor. I cleaned the rest of the house and everything in the living room for 3 days and left those socks where they lay. On the 4th day I threw them away. Bf comes home and notices that the socks are picked up and says, "It's about time, didn't think you saw them" I replied, " I did, but since I am not your mother I didn't think it was my job to pick up after you. After they sat on the floor for 3 days I didn't think you wanted them so I threw them in the trash." Now he is pissed off, yelling about his socks and I'm being childish for throwing them away..he might be right there but I don't think I am being an asshole...just tired of picking up after a grown up adult man.

Was I wrong to throw them away? Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA - the part where he pointed out that you had finally picked up his socks after 4 days, is where he absolutely deserved to have them thrown away.

He expects you to clean up after him like a maid, which is disgusting. Tell him that this will be happening to his stuff in the future, unless he starts acting like an adult. ######


Prompt:
I was supposed to get married this September, and as an early wedding gift our friend group decided to buy us tickets to a music festival (Shambhala -we’ve gone the past two years but knew with wedding expenses we probably wouldn’t be able to make it work.) I was so excited about the wedding gift I started crying !

Fast forward to choosing vacation in a department I was recently promoted to. We are a small team so vacation time can be tricky, ideally there would be no overlap of people taking time off. My manager is of the mindset that as adults we can figure conflicts out ourselves.

A coworker and I were requesting the same time off. 4 days of overlap. Me for the music festival, and her for family camping. She has done this camping trip with her kids for the past 6 years so I can appreciate that they all look forward to it. Due to corona virus the festival  was postponed to the same week the following year. So now we know over a year in advance that we will both be requesting the same week again.

So reddit, am I the asshole for wanting to book the week of the festival even though my coworker wants it ? I can’t exactly be flexible, these tickets were a really lovely gift. ######

Response:
 NTA - the only asshole is management, who is abdicating their responsibility to manage a department by asking employees to "figure out conflicts themselves." That's not the way well-run companies work. What if neither employee gives in? Management would have to step in at some point.

Plenty of employers say that two employees can't be out at the same time, when that's rarely the case (employers are just overly cautious). There are some blackout dates employees should be aware of, but other than that, it should be on management to work to ensure their employees can take vacation when they want, especially since it is part of their compensation.  There should be a system in place to request and approve time off to ensure that everyone gets equal access to dates, and although once in a while it won't work out and vacation may have to be denied, it shouldn't be on the employees to "figure it out." Management should make that call, based on a fair system, and take responsibility. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they decided that they were going to use their back yard as a shooting range.

At first I was fine with it (I am a strong 2A supporter), although the rest of the neighborhood had issues with said shooting (they are all around retirement age and liked the peace that was the old neighborhood). As a result they all tried to call the Sheriffs dept at one point or another. To their dismay As we are in an unincorporated county zone, they are within their rights to shoot as long as they have a sufficient Shooting Berm.

As of this month the fact that they have not received a complaint they have decided to shoot into the night, at one point not stopping until 2am. This is where I have an issue with it as I live with my Grandfather who is recovering from a series of strokes and my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew who are hard to get to sleep and stay asleep so they will not be cranky the next day. as a result I have looked into the counties noise ordinances and found that they are in violation of those laws.

 WIBTA if II used my decibel meter to record the violations, and got written complaints from my other neighbors to force them to stop shooting during the night? ######

Response: NTA - the noise ordinances are there for this exact reason; to make sure everyone can have some peace and quiet at night. Even if your grandfather and niece and nephew did not live there, you yourself are entitled to a good night's sleep too. However, maybe you should talk to the neighbors before filing a complaint? ######


Prompt: A girl at my school has some political opinions which are questionable at best. She posts said opinions on her blog. One opinion was particularly egregious, and I took screenshots of her blog in case she would delete it, as she is prone to do. I reposted the screenshots to Facebook after she deleted it. She then caught some flak for the blog because my post reached people who didn't know about her blog. People in the comments were trying to explain it to her, and she posted an apology saying she changed her opinions. But, I decided to keep the post up, and linked to her apology in the comments while removing any mention of her from the title and the rest of the post. She says that I'm causing people to dislike her because I posted it, but I'm saying that she's making other people dislike her because of her opinions. I told her I would delete it after a week. So, AITA for posting her opinions and not taking it down? ######

Response: NTA - the internet never forgets ######


Prompt: I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ######

Response: NTA - The fact that she cannot draw it herself shows that your art has value. ######


Prompt:
My husband is a gamer through and through. Right now his game of choice is Call of Duty: Whatever version is out right now. He games 3-4 nights out of the week.

I... am not a gamer. Mostly, it makes my eyes water and I run around aimlessly. Case and point: I button-mashed my way through Tekkan as a child, and only grinded in Tony Hawk Pro-Skater. I enjoyed the way I played the game, but have never played a game to beat it.

For my birthday this year my husband bought me the game Animal Crossing: New Horizon and I have really been enjoying it. If you play, you know that the multi-player capabilities of this game are lacking, and you can only have one island per switch. I created my island, named it, and invited my husband to create a character to play.

I play two nights a week (maybe), but that is all I want to play. My husband has started playing the switch during the day and **I feel** has taken over my island. I was moving at my own pace, but he has started playing as me and hits every milestone for me. I was ACTUALLY playing this game, just in the mosey-about way I enjoy. I have alluded to him taking over my island and flat out asked him to stop playing, because he plays video games all the time, and this is the first video game that I have had interest in since Tekkan. He is still playing it daily. I know he wants us to have a game together, but I feel like my island doesn't even feel like what I wanted at all.

AITA? Should I embrace his want to connect via videogames? But how do I overcome his need to complete every part of the game obsessively? ######

Response: NTA - the fact he took over your profile in AC when he has his own is what bothers me the most about this. If you've talked to him about this and he's still not respecting boundaries, delete your island. Meh maybe that's petty. If he's not being respectful, though, that's an issue. Either way, you're NTA. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile so sorry for bad formatting)

So I live in NY and everyday at 7pm lots of people clap and cheer in celebration for the healthcare and medical workers that are out there fighting against COVID-19.

I thought it was cool for the first few days but it’s been months now and every time they start cheering I just close the window because it gets loud and annoying.

My SO thinks it’s disrespectful and says I’m being ungrateful and that I should be taking part in the cheering.

My SO’s mom is a nurse and he’s offended every time I close the window and thinks I’m being an asshole.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - the cheering is a sweet gesture, but it's about as useful as 'thoughts and prayers'. ######


Prompt:
My younger sister is expecting a baby girl despite the fact she and her husband have struggled with finances since 2009, when they got married. Anyway, she texted me saying that she needed a loan of $200 for something related to the unborn baby girl, and I, being a teacher on summer vacation, cannot afford that. My boyfriend is a surgeon, but I don't want to rely on him financially for something like this.

When I turned her down, she got really mad and was like "Okay, so you don't care about your niece then. I guess you do really want us to put her up for adoption." I was like "Well...sorry, but I have to look out for myself first." She hung up on me angrily, and then after that, my mom and siblings all got mad at me.

I questioned why THEY didn't help her out financially, and they said
"Oh we contributed too, and we thought you'd be willing to help them out." Like do they not understand I am a TEACHER? I don't make that much and just spent a ton of money on gifts for my boyfriend's daughter. AITA in this situation? ######

Response: NTA - The baby's not even born yet and they're already asking for money. Reality's going to hit them hard. ######


Prompt:
this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food.

so i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.

when the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off "she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.

like.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?

aita for skipping the line? ######

Response: NTA - that’s literally what the app is for ######


Prompt: I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######

Response: NTA - that’s incredibly overbearing, unnecessary, and controlling. Ew. You should absolutely be doing it yourself. There’s involved, and there’s way the hell too over involved. He’s falling into the latter category. This is absolutely something to stand firm on. ######


Prompt:
My cousins "James" and "Lydia" have 9 children. They are a wonderful family, and we spend holidays together. My husband and I suspect that their youngest "Grace" has Down syndrome due to very subtle physical features, motor delays, and her mother's age when she had her, but we haven't said anything to anyone else in the family.

When we were over to their house for Thanksgiving, I was fussing over all the kids like usual, and things went wrong when I got to Grace. I did the whole "Wow, you're so big!" thing and asked Lydia, "Is she walking yet?" Lydia very harshly snapped, "No. But nothing is wrong with her." Honestly, it was a little shocking and I was caught off guard. All I said was "Okay. But if there was, you know we would never love her any less." That was the end of that, and I thought everything was okay. Then, we weren't invited to the family Christmas.

I recently was talking on the phone to James and brought up to him that we had gotten all the kids Christmas gifts. He then told me that Lydia is still very upset that I asked if Grace was walking yet and that she expected an apology before we would be welcome over again. I'm planning on apologizing anyway, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - that was a pretty harsh overreaction to being asked if her kid walks yet. That’s a pretty standard question about most babies between 9 months and when they’re obviously walking. It sounds like she’s aware there’s an issue and is in denial. Either refusing proper medical care or refusing to disclose to family,  not sure which. ######


Prompt:
Some context: I (33F) am currently hosting my pregnant sister (29F) and niece at my house. My sister is almost 8 months along, and her husband works in a healthcare field, so we decided it would be safer for her to stay with me for the time being.

My sister is known for having a questionable taste in names. She named  my five year old niece Isis, and she was planning to give the new baby and equally bad name. I won’t put it here for privacy reasons, but think along the lines of “Divine Nova” or “Quartz.” Just ridiculous.

We were chilling last night after the kids went to bed, and that’s when she told me the name. I reminded her how hurt she always is when people comment on Isis’ name, and how even my niece has picked up on it (she goes by another name at kindergarten). I talked to her about how kids with bad names can suffer in the labor market. She still wasn’t budging, so I told her I wouldn’t make a name plaque for baby if she chose that name. For my nieces and nephews, I usually wood burn a nice plaque with the name and DOB, and it becomes a treasure as they get older. I love doing it, and I think my sister was shocked. She said if I felt that strongly about the name, she’d rethink it.

AITA? I feel a bit bad for holding a gift over her head, but I just want to protect my niece-to-be from having to answer to a horrible name. My husband (who wasn’t there) thinks I went to far and is siding with my sister. ######

Response: NTA - That said, Isis is a perfectly normal and beautiful name and not in the vicinity of something like Divine Nova. ######


Prompt:
So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet.

I asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice.

Somehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it.

Was I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######

Response:
 NTA - that is not pulling the race card. That’s a “I have a prior appointment that I can’t reschedule”. Your friends suck if they think otherwise.

Edit- spelling ######


Prompt:
Okay so basically my girlfriend (23f) and I (24m) have been dating for just over 4 months it’s been pretty good, little to no arguments about anything.

She came over last Thursday and said she had a gift for me and one for herself too, I thought this was strange as it’s not near any of our birthdays or anything. She handed a box and told me to open it, inside was a baby camera, immediately my heart started racing as I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, but to my surprise she wasn’t.

She told me she wants me to put it in my living room so “we can always see each other even when we’re not together” because it is wifi enabled through an app you can get up on your phone.

I spun some story to avoid conflict as she was only going to be at my house for the next hour or so, I told her I was too afraid of hackers getting into it and watching me, but I don’t actually want to be seen at all times by my girlfriend. She called that bluff and got angry with me in which I asked her to leave, she did so in tears.

Please note she doesn’t use reddit and this isn’t a throwaway but I am not cheating and I wouldn’t so that’s not why I’m opting out of it.

I told her I needed a few days to myself and haven’t seen her since (it’s Monday now) I understand we both have feelings but i don’t know if I disregarded hers too much

AITA for not wanting to put a baby monitor in my house? ######

Response: NTA - That is creepy, controlling, and SCREAMS insecure. ######