Prompt:
I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest.

I love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.

Tonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4.

I keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.

AITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######

Response:
 NTA.

>he wanted to be able to make more noise

Your SO needs to grow up, and step up. He can't live like a baby now that he has one. ######


Prompt:
As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.

I am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.

The subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.

We were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.

He said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.

It really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.

What does Frank think "race" is? It's not just colour. You can be light brown or even various shades of beige, with no African heritage, and still be mixed race. And Mexicans have faced plenty of racism. ######


Prompt:
I (27F) work full-time and my husband (28M) is a stay at home partner. That means I'm the breadwinner in our relationship, but that's fine. It's a role we're both comfortable with me in and I hate, hate, **hate** chores anyway.
Recently my father-in-law has been making me uncomfortable with his comments. FIL has a habit of making 'jokes' about things my boyfriend has done around the house. He will often comment on my SO's FB posts and pictures with comments like 'another day sweeping the floors?' and calling him a 'domesticated maid'.
We recently had them over for dinner and my husband did an amazing job prepping the house and slow cooking the food. I didn't help out at all, since I was at work all day and I arrived home to him having done everything.
When my FIL found out my husband did the cooking, he straight out asked why I hadn't helped. When I told him I'd been at work, he told me that he would never let his wife, my SO's mother, host a dinner party entirely by herself and would at least prepare a side. The big difference between my FIL/MIL and me/my SO is that his parents both worked full time, which isn't our situation. My FIL looked at my SO and told him 'you know you don't have to live like this'.
Here's where I might be TA. I'd had enough and snapped at him that our situations were very different. And I said that I actually didn't appreciate his attitude to my husband's lifestyle and he had no right to criticise either of us when we're both happy in our choices.
As you can expect, it didn't go well. My in-laws left early and things have been weird since. My husband says that he wishes I'd hadn't spoken up and next time to let him deal with it. But I struggle to agree since he always lets his father walk all over him and sometimes his father is criticising me too.

AITA for standing up for me and my husband against my father-in-law? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>'you know you don't have to live like this'.

That implies you are forcing him into this life. If your husband wasn't going to defend the both of you, someone had to. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So.

My full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version.

There is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz.

I HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.

And everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.

Some of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.

I know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.

I've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms.

So now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Simply ignore them and if they call you out for not answering to Liz simply say “Oh, well how am I supposed to know that you were talking to me? That’s not my name.” ######


Prompt:
I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year.

I don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.

I bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me.

As for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as "house stuff" but luggage has never been one of them.

AITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Once, sure.

Twice, maybe.

Three times, you're not a department store and they need to get their own luggage. ######


Prompt:
So growing up my parents and I didn't really have the best relationship. Nothing too bad - they weren't abusive or anything, just extremely emotionally distant. I couldn't talk to them about anything - crushes, heartbreaks, bullying - I had to deal with that all on my own. Luckily I had a great group of friends to lean back on.

Now after graduating, I went off to college (student loans, mind you - my parents believe in letting me pay my own way even though they are more than affluent enough to have helped me out. Which is fine, debt sucks, but at least I'm in control of my own finances). It was great, I was doing well academically, and had a part time job as well.

Now here's the part where I might be an asshole. When I went back home during semester breaks, my parents asked me to pay rent. Lower than market rate, but still substantial for a student like me. I didn't argue, bit my tongue and went with it. All the free time I had went into jobs and chores. I then tried talking to them about it - they said if I wanted to live in their house, I'll have to contribute, and of course that contribution took literally all my time. I didn't really complain after that, but I vowed to myself to completely go my own way once I graduate and get into a position to support myself.

And I did. After I graduated, and landed a job, I went no contact with them and haven't spoken to them in over a decade. They've reached out multiple times over the years but I've always refused. I have my friends, I have a girl I'm going to marry. My own family. Like an actual family.

Why exactly should I get into touch with them? They weren't interesting in being parents, and now I no longer want to be their kid. Simple. Right?

My fiance disagrees. She says I should make an effort to communicate.

So. AITA for not doing so? ######

Response:
 NTA.

My parents did the same thing. I paid rent from the time I was 13 when I got my first (under the table) job. When I turned 18, I was expected to move out. College was completely my responsibility. When I came home on break, I was expected to pay rent AND do household chores. After my first semester, I didn't go home for break any more. I simply stopped communicating with them.

I look at it this way. They set the terms for the kind of relationship they wanted to have with me. They did it while I was still a child, and dependent on them. There is absolutely no reason to change that relationship simply because...

They did reach out to me occasionally over the years. Every time it was because they wanted something from me. If I gave it to them, they went back to radio silence.

And one bit of advice...get over the anger. It's nothing more than another link to them. You don't need it. They won't see it. ######


Prompt:
Hi everybody,

I live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.

Across the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the "Nachtruhe" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music/tv.

I myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my "Nachtruhe" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for >45 minutes).

I dont know any of them personally/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.

They now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).

&#x200B;

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If they are living in Germany, then they need to abide by German laws. There are other ways to celebrate the fourth of July that wouldn't entail breaking local laws. ######


Prompt:
I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning.

I posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate.

Am I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Haters gonna hate.

I'm the child of a single father, and you bet he got a mother's day card and present every year from me. He did twice the work, he gets twice the credit.

People always want to be salty when thinking something belongs exclusively to them- being a parent with a partner is already a full time job. You're doing both jobs on your own.

Happy mother's day! ######


Prompt:
For context, I’m 24 and live on my own.

My little brother Miles is 16 and living with our mom and stepdad.

Miles has had problems in the home, including yelling with his stepdad and mom.

From what miles has told me, his stepdad is verbally abusive to him including telling him that he’s not his real son and that he should get a job and move out as soon as possible.

I was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me that he is so tired of living there and that he wishes he could live with me. (We can bubble with people here now because of Covid).

Apparently our mom heard him saying that he wants to come live with me because she got upset with him and called me saying that he could never come live with me because I’m “irresponsible” and not his “real parent.”

I told her that I’ve been more of a dad than our real dad (he’s in prison) or his stepdad ever has been and she told me that I’m on thin ice and I have to watch my step or I’ll never see him again.

I’m conflicted. I know I’m not his parent but I honestly would take him in. His smart and deserves a good life but at the same time I’m not his parent and I know my mom does love him but she makes bad choices in men.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. "You'll never see him again." LOL. Good luck with that, mom. The kid is 16 not 6. Worst case scenario you'd see him again in a year and some change when he turns 18 and he gets kicked the curb by his super awesome father figure. Counter that threat with "you'll never see me again". ######


Prompt:
So I’m ¼ Japanese and ¾ British/French/German. My husband is Scottish/British. We’re expecting our first daughter together early fall and recently got into an impasse about names.

I wanted my daughter’s middle name to be my Japanese grandmother’s name - Miyoko. Not only did I think the name was beautiful and flowed really nicely with the first name we have chosen for her, I wanted to honour my grandmother, who I had a very close relationship but sadly passed away three years ago. She was the one who taught me a bit of Japanese and how to cook her family recipes, I’m very proud of this part of my heritage and intend to pass this along to my daughter.

However, my husband is saying that naming our daughter, who will very likely not look Japanese is culture appropriation. (I disagree with culture appropriation because our daughter will be part Japanese, even though it’s only ⅛  - maybe I’m wrong so please correct me if I am!) Also, he said it would be cruel to give her such a foreign sounding name when she clearly won’t look the part and perhaps other kids might make fun of her for that.

Now, the last thing I want is to give my daughter a name where she would have a hard time with. But at the same time, I genuinely don’t feel like it’s a problem, considering how I think it’s a beautiful name with a significant meaning. It shows off part of her heritage and honours her great grandmother. Also, it’s going to be her middle name so it’s not like that’s what she’ll be referred to on a daily basis. Am I in the wrong here? ######

Response:
 NTA. "Why do you have a Japanese middle name? You don't look Japanese"

"It was my great-grandmothers name who my mum really loved"

"Oh, fair enough then"

Also if someone was to ask her this, they would have to be relatively close to her anyway, to not only know her middle name, but then question it ######


Prompt:
Throwaway.

So I proposed to my girlfriend beginning of this year. We originally planned to get married this September, but that has obviously been pushed back to next year.

My sister also got engaged last year and her and her fiancé were 100% set to have an April wedding before the pandemic shut everything down. However tragedy struck and her fiancé suddenly passed away this June (Covid death). It has been an extremely tough time for all of us in the family. My sister has been hospitalized on and off for harmful thoughts over the past month and we are all doing our best to support her.

Anyways, now I am fighting with my fiancée because I’m “putting my foot down” so to speak on her latest decision to change our wedding venue to where my sister originally planned hers. My sister had planned to have her wedding at a famous country estate/mansion near where we live.

My fiancée recently told me that she contacted the estate out of curiosity and found out they have openings early next year so she now wants to have our wedding there instead. She visited the place and fell in love and says it’s actually her dream venue. I basically said absolutely not, are you insane? That would be incredibly traumatic for everyone in my family (esp my mom and sisters who already helped my sister and BIL plan their wedding at that exact location).

My fiancée won’t budge and she’s furious I’m not seeing things from her side. She says our wedding could be like a “beautiful tribute” to my sister’s loss but I don’t think anyone would see it that way. More than likely people will think we stole my sister’s wedding ideas and are forcing her to attend out of cruelty. AITA for telling my fiancée her dream venue is an absolute no-go? ######

Response:
 NTA. "Tribute of trauma" please keep your stance on this. Its incredibly cruel to your sister . normally id say no one owns a venue, but your circumstances are different. Shit its like your fiance asked for your sisters wedding dress and said "not like your going to use it anymore" shes being extremely inconsiderate

Its very kind of you to keep your sister in mind during all of this as im sure its very hard for her. My condolences to her and his family. ######


Prompt:
 I'm (20M) in the market for a new TV, the 32 inch Sharp TV I have still runs fine but I want something bigger, I have my eyes on a 65 inch LG Smart TV, I saved up for it and had plans to buy it but my mom told me that if I bought a TV when I already have a perfectly working TV then I'd have to put it in the living room so that everyone (my parents and sibs) can enjoy it.

She said that it was selfish and that I don't need a TV that big for my room especially when I already have one. I said fine and a couple weeks passed and she asked me when I'm buying the TV, I told her that I'm not buying one anymore and she asked why and I said there's no point for me to spend my hard-earned money for a TV that I'm not even allowed to put in my own room.

She went on a tirade about how I'm the most selfish person in the world and that I was selfish to buy a TV in the first place with the intention of putting it in my room and that now the only reason I'm not buying the TV is because I don't want to share.

AITA? I don't know what I did wrong. What's the point of me buying a huge TV when I can't even fully benefit it? ######

Response: NTA. "Mom, you raised me right, I'm thinking more long-term and I've decided to use that money towards getting my own place instead." ######


Prompt:
Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention.

Except this intervention was for his "gaming addiction". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence.

My teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time.

I then went and broke up their "intervention" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down.

I said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######

Response: NTA. "Just a joke" is such a poor defense for being inconsiderate towards someone's feelings. Dude should be less calm about mocking his own daughters problems. ######


Prompt:
My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her.

To be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer.

She thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’.

I don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?

(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######

Response:
 NTA. "Dibs" is not how application cycles work. If she has a strong application, she'll get in. Same with you. If she's prepared to lose your friendship over this, I'd question how strong your friendship was to begin with.

Good luck with grad school OP. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because some of my cousins might recognize the situation.

I won't mince words: I'm (22F) the product of an affair. My father comes from a wealthy family and is a businessman in Asia, and my mother used to be a flight attendant in the 90s. My dad has always been there when I was growing up, even if my mom and I live in the US, and has provided for us financially. His “real” family knows about me: he and his wife “Sarah” got married out of business convenience and she’s never resented me or made me feel bad in any way. I’ve always respected her for letting me have a relationship with my older brothers, and letting me come with their family on summer vacations. She even sent our family flowers when my mom got married a few years ago. Sadly Sarah passed away from cancer a few months ago. It’s been rough on my dad and brothers, she was a wonderful, kind woman and I miss her a lot.

Sarah was very, very wealthy and left my brothers a significant inheritance. Apparently she also left me something in her will: a few thousand dollars. I burst into tears when my brothers called me with the news, I didn’t expect her to even acknowledge me in any way as her husband’s bastard child even if we had a good relationship. The problem is my family: my uncles and grandma think that I shouldn’t accept the money because I’m “not family.” My brothers have been saying that over in their country, Sarah’s family is also contesting the will to remove me because I’m not her daughter or related to her in any way. I’ve been feeling pressured to not accept the money even if my dad and brothers say I have every right to accept it. AITA for thinking about taking my inheritance? ######

Response:
 NTA. *She wanted you to have it.*

Why should other people, even family, have a greater say in what she does with her money than her?

If she were alive, is this what she would have wanted? Clearly not. She put it in writing!

Again, respect her wishes. ######


Prompt:
If I do not shower in the morning, my husband begins making comments that I should do so, starting in late morning/afternoon.

I have a full time job, and I usually shower 7 days a week. I generally look nice. Every so often (once a month), I will skip a Saturday or, even more rarely, a week day.

Now, this fight kicked off because I didn’t shower yesterday and haven’t yet today...but I woke up late and am just lazing (edit: I have full plans to shower today) because I worked late last night, we’re obviously not going out. I am wearing deodorant and brushed my teeth. Husband insists more than 24 hours without a shower is gross, and if you’re worried about your skin, wear lotion. He says most people agree with this.

I say it’s unreasonable to expect me to cater to this somewhat irrational expectation.

So, AITA?

Tl:dr: AITA for thinking it’s not gross to skip a day of showering, and being unwilling to give up an odd unshowered day to placate my husband? ######

Response: NTA. [There's a chart for that.](http://i.imgur.com/XstAjrH.jpg) A lot of people shower every day, but more people skip a day every so often. I shower about 5-6 days a week, but on days that I stayed home and didn't do anything to get dirty or sweaty, I don't see a reason to waste the water. ######


Prompt:
Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.

I live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to "fuck off back to our own country" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.

But their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.

My solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)

Ive tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.

I could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.

But I have to know Aita? ######

Response: NTA. [Here's a tune for next time should you need it.](https://youtu.be/jg9JnTr1SfY) ######


Prompt:
My wife will sometimes bring her Mom over to my family's events, sometimes the more intimate ones like the Holidays, Mother/Father's Day, you get the idea with more intimate events like that. Sometimes I am told by her the day of or the night before that she has invited her Mom already without consulting with me. So when we'd go over to one of my siblings house they are surprised to see my MIL show up. After an event last year, one of my siblings called me to say that, they do love my MIL and enjoy her company, just if we can refrain from bringing her to the more intimate events so that it's just immediate family. However other events like my nieces/nephews birthdays, bbq, outdoor events are fine. In a sense I get what my siblings are saying, as sometimes I do just want immediate family at events, and this includes with my wife's family as well. I don't know if you all think that way as well. I spoke to my wife about this, about how we should just do more immediate family at those more intimate events and she went quiet, I also brought up how it would be the same situation with her family that I do just want immediate family at more intimate events. And she got upset that my siblings seem like that don't want her at family events even after they've said she's family. A side note here, in my culture, it's polite to say to guest or non-immediate family that they are invited and always welcome, but typically speaking it's just courtesy. My wife took it to heart as we are her mom's only immediate family in town as her brother does not live in the same city as her mom. The next morning she was upset with me as well for not taking her side or defending her for bringing her Mom to those events. It's just a cause a small friction between my wife and siblings. So Reddit, a
AITA for not defending my wife? ######

Response: NTA.  Your wife and her mom need to respect your family's boundaries.  The boundaries are not unreasonable. ######


Prompt:
A little backstory:
My sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.

My nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before.

I don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.

So, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ######

Response: NTA.  Your sister is a huge asshole. You are paying half the rent, the majority of food and bills. for four people living in one house. You not only should have the third floor to yourself, but if she rents any rooms she should give you half, minimum. ######


Prompt:
I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits.

My sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason.

I finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.

I could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ######

Response: NTA.  Your sister doesn’t need to be coddled about the situation if it was bad enough that her daughter was removed. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep it short:

My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. About a week before Father's day, I took a pregnancy test, because I started having symptoms. It tested positive. But just to be sure, I also went to see a professional that also confirmed it. By now, it was about two days before Father's day, so I decided to wait and tell my husband on Father's day, thinking nothing of it. When I did tell him, he was overjoyed and we were both really happy- until he asked me how long I knew.

When I told him I knew for about a week, he got really irritated and became incredibly snappy, saying that I should've told him as soon as I knew. I got a little annoyed and asked why it was such a problem that I waited a little bit, it's not like it was a couple of weeks, it was literally two days. I thought it would be a nice surprise, especially since it's on a day that it's celebrated for. Now, it's been a few days since the argument and I'm not sure how to feel, but I kinda feel as if he ruined a day that was supposed to be special for the both of us. AITA for not telling him as soon as I knew? ######

Response: NTA.  Your reasoning makes total sense and was a sweet intended gesture.  Sorry he didn’t receive it as such. ######


Prompt:
TW: drug use

My mom(52F) got arrest Friday for possession of a controlled substance(herion) and paraphernalia(needles) and I refuse to bail her out again. I just sent her to rehab back in October and I’m tired of wasting time and money on her. She hasn’t talked to me since Monday when I told her I’m not going to get her out of this situation. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: NTA.  Your mother has a problem.  If you bail her out, you are enabling her.  You need to sit back and let her hit rock bottom. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 20 year old university student getting through the pandemic and staying away from home because of the travel restrictions.  My mom has been reading the parent pages for my university and came across another parent who apparently wrote repeatedly about how depressed/lonely her daughter is.  My mom has hounded me repeatedly to let her mom “connect” us but I refuse.  I can only imagine how humiliated I would feel if my parent had publicly posted about my mental state and tried to find strangers to talk to me out of pity.  As far as I can tell, this person isn’t reaching out to any university pages themselves and considering how we are all quarantined, me being in the same city as her at the moment doesn’t mean I could even hang out with her.  My mom says I have no empathy for other people but I also don’t feel like I’m in a good enough  mental state to try to give support to other people when I can’t even give it to myself right now.

tl;dr I don’t want to be “pity” friend to an adult whose mother is posting about her on Facebook. ######

Response: NTA.  Your mom sounds like a meddling busy body who could spend HER time directly helping people rather than reading parent university pages (seriously, do other parents of 20yos actually do this?) and trying to control you. ######


Prompt:
I’ll make this short. The father of my children went to prison a few years ago.

My children are 9m and 12f. He sometimes writes to them but not very easy often. After a while I found out that their father says some pretty fu.ked up things in his letters. It messed with my kids especially my son as he started to think I set up his father to keep him away from the kids.

I have since decided to read the letters my son gets first and then decide whether they are appropriate or not. My daughter always had me read her letters first anyway because she’s old enough to see through the games.

After a series of letters that were absolutely horrible I decided to let their father know that it was pointless and that I’m not letting my son read them anyway. He lost it and said what I’m doing is illegal and he’ll sue.

I know I’m possibly overstepping but i just want to protect my children. ######

Response: NTA.  Your job is to protect them.  Keep doing it. ######


Prompt:
I live with my girlfriend and her roommate, we’re going to get our own place when her lease is up. We like to shower together, not just for sex, but it’s intimate and fun to do sometimes. We probably shower together twice a week.

Her roommate asked me to stop yesterday because it’s annoying to her. She has her own bathroom with her own shower so I don’t see how it could be annoying. I asked why and she said it’s gross that she knows we’re together like that and it should be confined to the bedroom.

I told her I’d talk to my girlfriend and my girlfriend thinks we shouldn’t stop. Would we be assholes if we continue? ######

Response: NTA.  Your girlfriend's roommate needs to mind her own business.  She's just jealous. ######


Prompt:
I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.

So I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless.

I got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######

Response: NTA.  Your girlfriend is throwing a tantrum because you successfully participated in an adult professional activity.  She needs to grow up. ######


Prompt:
Last night I (f15) was talking to my sister (f13) about how I've been looking to make some extra money lately because I've been wanting to buy a new phone and haven't been getting many shifts lately because of coronavirus.

I said to her that I wanted to sell a dress that I had brought online, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and saw it as an opportunity to make some money. She said that I shouldn't sell it and *give* it to her because she likes and would wear it (I have had this dress for a few months and only worn it once, but I have never heard her say anything about liking or wanting the dress). I told her that I would prefer to sell it and make money. She ended up saying that I care more about money than my family and that I'm being selfish.

I think that because I own the dress I should be able to say who I sell or give it to, even if it does come across as selfish. I feel like she is guilting me into giving her the dress and keeps bringing my parents financial situation into the argument, saying that she wants the dress so much that even if I did sell it she would go out and buy a similar one with my parents money knowing the would make me feel bad. I also know that had the situation had been reversed she would have not given the dress to me.

I feel like we're both probably right in some way, but it has become a huge fight and I just want to know if I'm being the asshole. ######

Response: NTA.  Your dress, sister being a manipulative brat. ######


Prompt: So I was making two grilled cheese sandwiches for a nice midnight snack. I finish up and sit down to enjoy 'em when my dad(46M) walks in the kitchen. He asks me to make one for him too to which I oblige. As I get the bread and plug the toaster oven back in, he takes my seat at the table and declares he'll have one of my sandwiches instead even though I was going to make one of those anyway as per his request. Before I could say anything, he takes a bite of my sandwich. I go to put back the bread in the cupboard and he says "Too lazy to make another one for yourself?" and he laughs. I, already in a sour mood because someone took my damn sandwich, say, "It's fine, I just don't like it when someone takes my food.". He takes offense to this, scowls at me, drops the sandwich back on the plate hard enough to make a sound as if to show anger, and slams the door when he leaves the room. You could really see the disdain in his eyes after I said that remark. I'd really like to know if I'm the asshole here or not. ######

Response: NTA.  Your dad pulled an AH move and doubled down on it when called out. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been asking my boyfriend for over a week to please, please check out my car. He knows what he’s doing, has worked on every truck he’s ever had, and I’m a clueless idiot who is very likely about to not have a job for a while due to everything going on, so I can’t afford to take it someone even if I did find somewhere open. It feels very strange when I drive it, is only getting worse. There’s been times where it has honestly felt like it’s going to straight up fall apart on the interstate and I have to drive extra slow. It terrifies me. My tires aren’t that old, so it can’t be that. My boyfriend is getting paid time off right now so isn’t working or doing anything besides playing video games so I’ve asked him to look at it and he just won’t. He says there’s probably nothing wrong and I’m being dramatic. I have to drive an hour to work every day and I don’t leave until dark, so I have a fear of ended up on the side of the road at midnight by myself.

After a week of being frustrated I decided to take my car to the only other person I know who knows things about vehicles, my ex who I’m still friendly with. It wasn’t a big deal, I texted him and asked if he was busy and I needed an opinion on my car, he said sure bring it around, stayed there for about 30 minutes and that’s it. My boyfriend absolutely flipped out when he found out today. Said I disrespected him, disrespected our relationship, I’m in the wrong, I “broke his trust” when all I literally wanted is to make sure my car is safe to drive ######

Response:
 NTA.  Your boyfriend sounds like a spoiled child.  You were right to take matters into your own hands.  Not to mention the safety of being broken down on the road at midnight, worse:  what if you crashed? Hurt yourself? Hurt someone else? What a jerk.

He’s angry at himself and taking it out on you.  You went to another man, subverting his “manhood”, what a child.  Think hard on this relationship.  This type of thing is exactly the red flag you see later down the line and think:  damn it! I should have known! ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.

&#x200B;

some context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis/cute stuff

But now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with "drawing stuff for OTHER people". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.

This all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA.  Your BF is messing with your business.  That should never be allow.  And he should knows better.  This is serious.  Relationships are suppose to enhance your life, not weight you down.   A lot of people have broken up for less. Have a serious talk and do not back down ######


Prompt:
My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.

Now, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA.  Your BF is acting extremely entitled right now.  You’re right to be pissed.  Your parents made a very generous and kind gesture, now he’s just taking advantage. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 & 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc.

However, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months..

When I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day.

She got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) & she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway.

So, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts?

LSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ######

Response: NTA.  You’re offering a service and she should pay for it.  Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you take advantage of them. ######


Prompt:
TL DR: regardless of how you feel about the covid quarantine, my husband was secretly going to bars. He didn’t tell anyone in our family including his elderly high risk parents who came to visit on Father’s Day because they thought we had been staying at home, so I told him he had to call them and tell them the truth before they came back over this afternoon.

So, we’ve been married for 7 years, have 2 toddlers, and my husband still doesn’t seem to understand his actions affect other people. We’ve been quarantining since March, but he is “essential” so his work schedule has been normal. On Father’s Day his parents (both over 70yrs old) came over for the 1st time to surprise him and we all sat down and ate together since they felt it was an acceptable minimal risk since he only goes to work.
Well, I saw text messages last night that he’s been going to bars with friends after work.

I’m upset that he’s been lying to me, and I don’t know what to do about that.
I’m upset that he’s possibly been putting our family’s health at risk, and I don’t know what to do about that.
I’m also upset that his elderly parents were here because we told them we were safe, and apparently that was a lie, so I told him to call them and tell them he lied or else I would.

He said I’m an asshole for dragging them into our business. He lied to them too. I think that is their business. His dad is supposed to come over again today-I think he deserves to know the truth in order to reevaluate the risk before coming over.

I think I’m protecting our vulnerable parents and children. He says I’m an asshole trying to control everyone, be he’s also already established he’s willing to lie to get what he wants. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA.  You’re not trying to “control” anyone. You’re making sure everyone has ALL the information so they can reassess and make their own decisions, which is how it should be. His parents have the right to know he’s been around more people than was originally assumed so they can decide if they want to continue coming over, or wait it out. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway just in case.

I (18F) live with my mom, who has primary custody, and my step dad who has been in my life for 12 years and who I see as a father.

Throughout my childhood I didnt have a great relationship with my biological father. I both enjoyed and hated going to his house. Enjoyed because I had a lot more freedom there, hated because I had no friends.  Not to mention that when I got a phone my mom wouldn't let me take it to his house because she didn't want him to know I had a phone.

All my life I've been told stories on both sides and I nevee knew who to believe. Contact with my biological father slowed to the point where I would barely talk to him once every two months. Until, a few months ago  he sent me a letter with his phone number saying that if I ever need anything, he will be there.

My mom told me he is just trying to play victim and act like he's being kept from me, and that he doesn't actually mean it. I still called him, from my phone and without her knowing, and he was overjoyed to hear from me. Since then we've been rebuilding our relationship.

Now here's the part where I might be TA. My mom, Step Dad and I have been fighting on where I'm going to go to college. They do not approve of my choice or my intended career that I already have a job. There has been screaming, name calling, and constant silent treatement the past six months. Despite the fact that I am paying for college myself and have a viable way of financing it.

And so, I want to move in with my dad, who does support me and my choices. Obviously, my mom will be devastated, because she's always told me how hard she's worked to keep him from hurting me like he did to her. And I know by moving my step dad will never forgive me. I just can't take feeling like an enemy in my own house anymore. AITA? ######

Response: NTA.  You’re 18.  They don’t have custody of you anymore.  You’re an adult.  Go do what you want. ######


Prompt:
Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short.

Background: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part.

Story: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head.

THE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION.

I IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like "bruh chill," while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background.

I don't accept.

It was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA.  You're under no obligation to accept anybody's apology especially if it's not genuine. ######


Prompt:
My mother wants me to stay with her even when I'm older, because I'm 'not ready' to live on my own. I can cook and know how to wash clothes and dishes. I know which items to buy at the store. Heck, I even know how to take care of hangovers so I should be able to help my friend if she ever has one.

What my mom really wants me to do is to take care of her. All of my life I've been taking care of my mother, even though she's not even sick. When I was younger, I would nurse her hangovers even while being sick.

I know how to take care of myself. Me and my bestfriend have been planning this ever since we've met 3 years ago. As soon as I graduate or turn 19, I'll move in with her without telling my mom. The reason I won't tell my mom is because if I do, she'll try to make me stay.

I've been keeping a lot of anger in me because my mother never listens to me. Every time I try to voice my opinion she threatens to disconnect my phone and take it away because surely that's where I'm getting my attitude. And I'm just so tired from having to take care of her even when she's perfectly able to do it herself.

She always makes promises that she never keeps, even if it might kill her. And it's just so draining to make sure that she doesn't die in the middle of the night from drinking so much. I'm tired of being the mother in this relationship.

So Reddit,  WIBTA if I go through with this the way I planned to? ######

Response: NTA.  You're supposed to be the kid not the parent to your parent.  Before you move or tell your mom, make sure you have all of your important documents that you will need (birth certificate,  social security card, diploma. Etc.) So that your mom can't hold it over you to prevent you from leaving. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few months ago, but my brain won't let this one go.

So I was hanging out with some friends. Two guys, one woman. We're all in our early 20s and have had our fair share of romance in life. The topic of sex popped up and we start talking about some of our past experiences. One guy joked about how having sex only made his dick bigger and bigger. We all laughed and he said that he wished that's how it works. My female friend (let's call her Sarah) piped up and said "Yeah, for women, it's the complete opposite. The more sex you have, the bigger your labia gets and the looser you become." There were some chuckles, but then I asked her if she was serious. She said she was.

Now, this is a big myth. I was surprised a woman who has had some experience actually believes that. I basically told her this, and then she started getting annoyed, asking "how me and my dick knows about that". I said the same way I know anything about female anatomy- I've read up on it. The whole "women get looser" thing is something sexist dudes made up to slut-shame women. My other friends were silent on this. She then just said: "Whatever, I'm not in the mood for this kind of mansplaining."

So I'm at a loss here. AITA for explaining something that I feel like people should just know about? ######

Response: NTA.  You're right, she's not, simple as that.  Just because you know more about female anatomy than she does doesn't make it sexist.  I always took "mansplaining" as a guy automatically assuming a woman knows less about a topic because of her gender.  I've had this done to me over computers parts before, and it drove me nuts.  However, you weren't assuming her knowledge based on her gender, you were correcting her on something very wrong, and as as you said, pretty sexist.  I don't see anything wrong there. ######


Prompt:
Okay so I have a cat. Her name is Kitty, she's a beautiful little crossbreed and my entire life revolves around her. When she passes, I genuinely don't know how I'll cope.

Anyway, my sister also has a cat. His name is Taz, and she loves him more than life itself. She's autistic, and he's very very good with it. Sensory overload? He'll calm her down immediately. She's crying? He'll nuzzle her and often times grab my parents for her. But he's also very fat. And they just keep feeding him. My sister is obsessed with him, and she will feed him whatever he wants. She doesn't understand that she's hurting him, and I don't want to upset her by telling her.

My parents know. Taz's breathing is getting awful, he can't just very well, and despite his young age can't play for more than five minutes without needing a rest.

I'm genuinely worried for his health, and my parents also feed him whatever he wants, and they do the same with my cat. She has her own medical problems, that will probably shorten her life span. I don't want to make it any shorter.

I have told them that they're killing him by feeding him constantly. They tell me I'm being cruel, and just trying to scare my sister, which is literally the opposite of what I'm doing. They also refuse to stop feeding my cat when she wants it. She looses weight stupidly fast, so it's not too dangerous, but still worries me.

They said if I'm so worried, I can just up Kitty's exercise (which I am doing), and that I need to stop worrying about Taz because he's 'fine'.

I don't want my sister to loose her life line quicker than she has to, but apparently I'm just worrying about nothing because he's only 'a little' overweight.

He doesn't look that big, but he's gaining, and fast.

So, AITA?

(Once again, I'm awful with wording so just ask if I don't make any sense.) ######

Response:
 NTA.  You're right, but damn if it isn't difficult to curb behaviour like this when it's coming from your parents.   I'm sorry to say that I've been through this twice, and there was no real solution.  Because realistically you can't monitor the cats 24 hours a day, then your parents are going to continue to do whatever the hell they want.  Which sucks.

The only action you can really take is to try to have the advice come from someone other than you.  I'm talking about the vet - if you can call ahead of the next appointment to express your concerns, maybe the vet will take a harder line with them.  But even then, nothing is guaranteed, as I'm sure this is always discussed at vet appointments anyway (my vet shows no mercy!).

I don't know anything about people with autism, but from what I do understand, routine is super important, right?  Could you frame it that establishing a daily routine with the cat could be super helpful for your sister in the long run?  I don't know, just spitballing here.  Sorry you're faced with this, it's super common and very frustrating I know. ######


Prompt:
Some background: FIL is a man who doesn't get along with his wife and children. He barks and snaps at everyone but is cordial to me and eats out of my daughter's hand.

During this stay home period, MIL started cleaning out stuff that's been sitting around the house. Yesterday she found in a seldom-used drawer, a wooden box with a handkerchief wrapped around a picture of FIL in his younger times and my daughter's recent picture he cut out from her year book.

When she asked him about it, he threw a fit and said she had no right to defile pictures of people he loved most. An upset MIL called and told me about it.

He has 3 grandsons and 3 granddaughters. While I'm happy he dotes on my daughter most, I found this really creepy and said this to hubby. Hubby is now upset that I think his dad is creepy and his childless sister sides with him, while the other sister who has 3 kids thinks FIL is crazy.

So am I TA for reading too much into his 'innocent' action? ######

Response: NTA.  You'd be TA if you ignored this.  Because that's why child abuse so often goes on for years - people believe their beloved father/uncle/grandfather/cousin would NEVER do that awful thing, so they ignore red flags.  Cutting out the picture of one of six grandkids from her yearbook, placing it in some sort of shrine and then being angry when someone touches it is a red flag.  Your MIL also obviously believes there's a problem or she wouldn't have mentioned it.  You need to think about how you can protect your daughter.  A visit with a therapist might be a first step here. ######


Prompt:
Some people at my school signed a contract to rent a club house for prom and decided to go full out (litteraly no specifics from them), the problem is is that they demand 190$ from everyone (150 people) but almost no one paid except the organizers friend's and they almost got sued for not paying.
I really don't want to go since i don't like a lot of people there, im single and have no interest in anyone in this school and my friends dont plan to go either, AmITheAsshole?( To clarify i did not sigh any contract) ######

Response: NTA.  You signed no contract and I assume that you never consented to the payment verbally, either.  I think you're good to go. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory throwaway so men don’t message me about my tits on my regular account + I’m on mobile, so sorry if formatting is weird.

So, the other day one of my flatmates (with whom I have, up until this point, had neither a positive nor negative relationship with) sent me this long text that started with “we need to talk about the laundry situation.” This was a bit confusing, since I wasn’t aware of any particular laundry situation. The rest of the text was her telling me that I need to keep my bras out of the laundry room because apparently, when she had her boyfriend over, he went in there and saw my bras hanging up to dry on the drying rack, and was so shocked?intrigued?whatever that he checked the fucking tags (I have no idea if this is normal male behavior, but it creeped me out to read) to see the size, and then “wouldn’t stop talking about it.”

I responded with, basically, “then tell your boyfriend to keep his hands off my shit and shut up.” Flatmate did not consider this an adequate response, and told me that I should keep my “pornstar bras” in my room because it’s apparently inappropriate to dry them in the laundry room. At this point I was quite annoyed; I don’t wear “pornstar bras,” I just have very large breasts, and they’re a literal constant source of annoyance and back pain. The bras in question were totally normal, but apparently them being a UK 34H makes them inappropriate. I told her that I’m not going to try to dry my bras in my room since it’s tiny and we have a perfectly good drying rack in the laundry room, which is for laundry, and that both she and her boyfriend needed to get over it and grow up. I know that this wasn’t terribly diplomatic, but I felt like she was much ruder than I was. I didn’t really think about it the next day, but now it’s been three days and she’s completely ignoring me, so I’m wondering if I misjudged the situation. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.  You said it yourself, her bf needs to keep his hands off your shit and she needs to grow up.  It sounds like she reacting out of jealousy or insecurity.  You have bigger breasts than her and her boyfriend won't shut up about it.

It's not your responsibility to deal with and navigate their relationship issues or boundaries (or lack thereof). ######


Prompt:
I (22, F) currently work as an EMT, and as part of my certification, I learned to deliver babies. On occasion, we will get calls to pick up someone whos in labor. I've gotten these calls about 3x and each time we have just transported the patient to the hospital and they have given birth there.

My sister (26, F) who is 8.5 months pregnant recently asked if I could deliver her baby at her home since I was certified. She wants to do it at home since the hospital in our area (Chicago) won't let family visit, and she wants us to be there since this is her first child. Also, her gynecologist is sick and wouldn't be there to deliver her child, so she's also nervous about having a doctor, she doesn't know.

I told her I would get back to her, but my sister and my mom keep texting me about it. Idk what to do, I'm really nervous about doing it since I have never delivered a baby before. She said the baby was perfectly healthy which is good and it obviously won't be premature but I'm still on the fence. ######

Response:
 NTA.  You really aren't qualified as an obstetrician, you are qualified to pitch in to deliver a baby in an emergency.  You aren't even qualified as a midwife.  Your sister would not be getting optimal care and neither would the baby.

There are dozens of ways a delivery can go wrong, with catastrophic results for either mother or infant.  One benefit of hospital birth is that they have all the emergency backup systems needed, from a surgical suite, to monitors, to  sophisticated imaging, to ICU and NICU rooms, laboratory, and all the necessary medications.

Bear in mind if something DOES go wrong, you will feel a burden of guilt personally forever, and so might your family members.  The wise thing to do is to refuse, giving your reasons and standing firm. ######


Prompt:
I'm sorry if this is long or confusing but I'm conflicted.

Backstory my mom was incredibly abusive to me. Everything except sexually because I got that from someone else. I was forced to work at our store when I was 8 years old. Every way you could abuse someone she did it. I moved out when I was 14. I had just finished my freshman year of high school and I moved in with my grandma who let me stay with her rent free but I was on my own for everything. I got a job working 20-30 hours paid under the table. I did everything I could to support and sustain myself. When I turned 16 I got a real job went to an alternative high school and shifted my whole life so I could work and go to school just so I could eat, have a phone, get a car/gas.

We're Asian though. Painfully traditional and our beliefs is that we need to everything we can for our inner circle. Basically my mom was living with my grandma and her husband doesn't like her so he left. Shortly after she left to be with him. Things happened and now they're essentially homeless while looking for a place to live. They're living in a trailer.

I can give more details if there are questions.

Fast forward to now ten years later. I don't have a relationship with my mother. We talk a maybe a total of 5 times a year if that. My whole life I've been lectured how because she's my mother I have to love her and care. She's the only mother I have. I live in moderately sized home with my SO and dog. We have the space to house 2-3 extra people. I feel so bad because I know she wants  me to offer her our extra rooms but I just don't want to.

Shes essentially homeless though and I feel like I'm the devil for not offering her a roof when I have the space and ability to. I don't think I'm TA but why do I feel so bad?  I'm conflicted. If I wasn't TA I don't feel like I would feel bad. ######

Response:
 NTA.  You feel bad because you have certain beliefs drilled into you and they're creating cognitive dissonance - two conflicting sets of thoughts that are giving you stress because you're struggling to resolve them.

Your 'mother' is not a mother.  She did not give you love and support, she gave you nothing but abuse and stress.  Now she demands your love and support unconditionally because it's convenient for her.  She deserves none of it, and no amount of 'but tradition' is going to change that.  Devote your time, attention, and care to the people who care about you are a positive force in your life.  And if anyone gives you crap about it, tell them to shove off, it's not their choice to make.

Sometimes the hardest person to convince is yourself, though.  Keep at it, and keep remembering that she never brought you any good and that's not going to change now. ######


Prompt:
Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.

6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.

Now I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one.

Now M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.

After calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ######

Response: NTA.  You didn't expect her to move out a week early, you expected her to move out on August 1, the date originally provided.  She's the one who tried to change that to August 8.  I guess M isn't as good a friend as you thought she was - she doesn't seem to respect others' needs or property. ######


Prompt: Ok from the title it seems like I \[18M\] wouldn't, but I'm still not sure. She \[18F\] has been hitting on me for a few days, giving me obvious hints that she wants to have sex with me. She has done something similar a few years ago and I told her that I wasn't interested because she doesn't attract me. Yes, yes I know, personality > physical appearance, but at least I admit that I do care about appearance. She and some of my friends started calling me out, telling me that I should've at least gave her a chance. I actually lost one friendship because of that lmao, she was good with my friend. I don't like to hurt people. If I give her a chance now, she will get what she wants, she might get attached to me and I might not, which might hurt her even more. I recently got out of a relationship, I don't feel like getting in something else for now. I still miss ex a lot, but that's a story for another time. I don't enjoy talking to her. I am very insecure, and I don't like when some of my friends start talking about what I should have done and what I should have not done. That's why I'm asking you because I told some of them and they are telling me that I would be an idiot if I miss this opportunity and asshole because I will hurt her. So.. WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA.  You aren't interested in her.  End of story. ######


Prompt:
I have a house I rent, and some of my neighbors have complaints about the property and it's maintenance.

I rent partially because I don't have the time to do the maintenance and I wanted a lease that put the landlord in charge of all that. And that's what I found; my landlord is responsible for all maintenance and landscaping and such.

He lives a few states over and sends guys he knows for maintenance.

Anyway, some of my neighbors have used me as a scapegoat for things they don't like about the house. What's grown in the yard, how it's an eyesore, how the siding needs to be washed.

I've said that they can tell my landlord about it.

They've gotten mad saying that if I live somewhere I should take some pride in it and do the bare minimum to make it presentable. I said that I picked a place where someone else was in charge of landscaping and stuff for a reason, and they really ought to call him or write him a letter or something.

They've all been pretty mad at me and I feel like there just mad because they can't get in touch with the landlord and I'm an easy target because I'm right there.

AITA for not having any more time to listen to that stuff and just saying to call the landlord? ######

Response: NTA.  You are paying your landlord to take care of maintenance and landscaping.  Give them his number and go to town, otherwise leave you alone. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for this one.
My partner has two children with his ex-wife, two boys aged 4 and 7, of whom we share custody with their mother.
Here is where I might be the asshole:
The children’s mother has recently become very Catholic, enrolling the eldest in a Catholic school and introducing regular prayer in her home. My partner and I are not at all religious. He’s not religious because he simply isn’t interested, I’m not religious because I was raised Catholic and have become quietly anti-Catholic church as more and more has come to light about child abuse within the church. I say quietly anti-Catholic because whilst I hold my own beliefs, I don’t push them on anyone else. However, my partner’s ex-wife has told us that she wishes for the children to pray at night before bed when they are staying with us and I’ve told her absolutely no. Both of the children have indicated that they find praying to be something of a chore and I would, in all honesty, prefer my house to be religion-free. My partner’s ex-wife is pretty angry with my refusal, saying I shouldn’t care about them praying if I’m not religious and that I should respect her religion, but I don’t think I should have to do something in my house that I don’t want to do and she should be respecting my lack of religion.
AITA?
TLDR; partner’s ex-wife (very religious) wants kids to pray at my house, I (not religious) said no, AITA. ######

Response: NTA.  You are not stopping the children from praying, but you are not forcing them.  By the way, what a terrible way to encourage faith. ######


Prompt:
Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away.

So now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve.

So here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week.

So here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :/

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA.  You are contemplating the possibility that he may just be an eternal child.  And it would be a crime to enter a marital relationship with a child. ######


Prompt:
I (19F) have recently met and have now spent some time with my boyfriend’s (25M) parents. Good enough people who I enjoy even though we’re very different and have different ideologies. They also think that I am very quiet and innocent even though that’s not exactly the case.

The thing that bothers me is that they keep making comments about “your future with our son” and making them grand babies. The mom has asked me what birth control I am on, and if I’m willing to move away from family with a man. She also has said things along the lines of “skip the condom tonight.” Bf was previously married very young and has been separated for two years living in a different state from his ex. But his mom has made comments about him and I getting married and says that it’s been long enough (we’ve been dating for a little over a year) to know if he wants to marry/have kids with me.

My bf doesn’t want kids, I do, and I’m super young + going to college. Both of us are aware that this is temporary as not having kids in the future is a deal breaker for me, but again we’re young and are enjoying being with each other for now.

WIBTA if the next time they make comments I express that it makes me uncomfortable and that our relationship/sex life is really none of their business? ######

Response: Nta.  Wtf?  I'm a parent of 4 kids, and I'd never make those types of jokes (and I joke about everything) to any of my kids' SOs. ######


Prompt: Hello friends. I am a T1 diabetic, so I need to keep my insulin in the fridge. Lately I’ve been staying with my girlfriend who lives with her parents, who are very kind to temporarily take me in. I got there yesterday and I was unpacking and asked her if I could put my boxes of insulin in her fridge. She looked a bit uncomfortable and said first that there’s no space. I said this is objectively not true because their fridge is massive (she has four siblings but none of them are at home now) and there’s literally hectares of space, and besides I don’t need that much. She moved on to the next excuse which is that it’s weird to have my medication out in the open like that for other people to see. This one has really hurt my feelings. I mean it’s not like I asked for this illness. I literally need it to live. I tried to explain this to her and she said it’s their property and I should respect what they want to do with it. She also asked me not to do my injections in front of anyone else which makes me feel asif she’s somehow ashamed of me and my condition ######

Response: NTA.  Where the flying fuck does she expect you to keep it, given that insulin needs to be kept refrigerated? ######


Prompt: GF went to a huge rally the other night with at least 2 thousand people, we don’t live together but she comes over a lot and vice versa. The issue here is that I’m scared of her getting Corona and infecting me or my home. My parents have had health risks in the past and my grandparents swing by my house often to say hello or return Tupperware, and I’m scared to death of somehow leading to them getting sick. She’s been getting increasingly suspicious that I don’t wanna be around her and I don’t know what to do. I’m worried if I tell her the truth she’ll say I’m overreacting and we’ll get into a fight. AITA for wanting to keep my distance? ######

Response: NTA.  We all have to make our own choices.  Your real reasons for not hanging out might not bother her as much as the ones she's imagining.  Tell her the truth. ######


Prompt:
back story. so i've been at home because of quarantine, and decided to try grilling, burger mostly. my neighbor who is vegan and i know this for a long time. so 2 days ago i made burgers for my family, after we ate i started cleaning up the grilling stuff. and my neighbor walks outside and says "i have to stop grilling because the smell of meat is disturbing her". we both have Very big yards and i dont grill near her fence.

WEBTA if i still grill? ######

Response: NTA.  Vegetarian chiming in here. Yes, at this point the smell of meat cooking is awful to me, but it's your house, your yard, your grill, your food, and your family. Unless you're throwing meat scraps into the neighbor's yard, they get no say.  Grill on and enjoy! ######


Prompt:
(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)

I (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us.

I'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking "old." She has had botox/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.

Since getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles.

We argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it.

Recently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.

TL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######

Response:
 NTA.  This is one of those cases where you reduce her fun by not being pissed off at her little game.  So just have no reaction, except maybe rolling your eyes.

She should grow up.  But a lot of people who need to grow up, don't.  OK if you kind of reduce contact. ######


Prompt:
As of now, I'm stuck in a middle eastern country with my fiance. My fiance is middle eastern, although very westernized. We have our own living arrangement there, but his mother begged us to stay with her. For starters, she's always been very rude to me. Rude comments, starts faking heart issues around my fiance etc, accuses me of being ''infertile'' because ''no grandkids yet''. Accuses me of being an eastern europe medical school graduate (when I studied in the u.s?), and much more. She didn't approve of me till the beginning, and made sure to let me know that ''he'll never marry my kind''. Ever since we've been here, it's been more of this bullshit.

The last straw was her inviting her neighbors over for tea, acting like a bitch towards me, and treating me like her personal butler. She told me to go make coffee in a demanding tone, and to get a glass of water for her. So I snapped at her, and told her no, and we started yelling at each other, arguing etc. My fiance has been cold towards me after she went and ratted to him, and I'm considering breaking things off the minute we step foot in the u.s. AITA for the way i reacted? ######

Response: NTA.  This is a preview of things to come.  I think the future MIL doesn’t like you.  I don’t think it has anything to do with customs. ######


Prompt:
I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now.

My mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.

The money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it.

I have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019.

In February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.

Today my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.

AITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######

Response: NTA.  They're the assholes for exploiting you. Where is the money going if they don't have major expenses? If groceries, perhaps they should look into coupon clipping or other methods of cutting down the grocery bill ######


Prompt:
I was supposed to go on a trip with my best friend next year, just the two of us and we'd both been saving for it. I have a credit card that rewards me airmiles and I've been using it exclusively for the past year to get a free ticket and airmiles.

We now get to travel for the price of 1 ticket instead of 2 and we get to go business class so we've saved about £1,000 each. He's suddenly decided to invite his GF, knowing full well then we don't get along. This was annoying enough and made me not want to go on the trip but now he's expecting me to use my free ticket and airmiles to make it cheaper for her as well.

I don't like her in the slightest and want to go o a trip with my best friend. As that's not happening I told him I'm not going to use my airmiles for him and her and will travel solo if she's coming. She's an awful person and being in the same car as her is bad enough, let alone a 12+ hour flight and then 10 days on holiday.

Now he's calling me an asshole because I'm making him choose between a cheap trip together, or her. ######

Response: NTA.  There is a van value to those miles.   This is no different than him asking you to pay cash for part of her ticket.  The fact that he knows you two don't get along makes the request insulting. ######


Prompt:
Me and my wife split 11 years ago when our daughter was 5-6 months old, we split cause she cheated on me and went to marry the guy she cheated on me with.  I remarried 3 years later and had my son (who is now 9).  The way custody works is that I get her for 1 week a month, christmas, thanksgiving and easter while my wife gets her during the summer.  My ex's husband had 3 kids of his own, 1 of them her birthday falls on the day right after my daughter's and she told me when she's at her mom's house they share a birthday.  me, my wife and son are currently out of state and helping out my in-laws cause they are old and need help now of days.  I already mailed my gift and told my ex to give it to her on her birthday, she's always wanted air pods so I got her a pair.  I had a bag and stuffing in the box and asked my ex if she could set it up for her

My ex texted me yesterday saying what I got my daughter is nowhere near what the other kid is getting and asked me to either chip in to get her something or wait.  I told my ex that I won't and that my daughter has wanted this for awhile, she told me that it is unfair that my daughter gets a better present than her sister.  I tried to compromise and said she can name the present in both our names (mine and ex) and get her daughter something a little bigger or more "equal" if she likes but I'm not going to just not give her the gift cause I probably won't see her for another month or so.  My ex is saying I'm being unreasonable AITA? ######

Response: NTA.  The stepdaughter needs to understand that there are different parental relationships and she doesn't get exactly the same as her sister.  And I wouldn't have it be "from" both of you, either.  It's a gift from her dad, plain and simple.  If your wife is bitter about it, that's her problem. ######


Prompt: I was at the store and there was a family in front of me. They were short $20 and were about to put groceries back. I felt bad for their kids who looked at their dad who had to decide whether or not to put back the bread or cheese.To me, $20 is nothing so I told the cashier I would pay. I did not know the woman behind me was recording and she posted it on social media. Someone recognized me and tipped me off. I DM'd the woman who posted the video and asked her to take it down because I don't want the attention. You can clearly see my face and the name of the company that I work for on my polo shirt. I also didn't want people to think this was some sort of stunt. I know a lot of people pull fake "charity" for attention. She refused so I contacted the social media company's admin and they took it down for me. ######

Response: NTA.  The person who filmed and posted it was just trying to get attention for themselves through your good deed.  Apart from you not wanting the publicity they also didn't think about how that video could have been humiliating for the family involved. ######


Prompt:
My partner and I live in a garden apartment, our windows are literally ground level.

We were sitting there watching tv (tv is under the window), and we see a kid in our window. Kid doesn’t just look in and leave, kid stares in. For a hot minute. I walk out, see mom, and ask her to not allow her kid to stare in my window. She says her kid was playing in the yard. We live in an apartment building, fair enough. However, there’s a giant bush in front of our window. You can’t get to our window without going around this massive bush.

I told her to teach her kid to not stare into people’s windows.

This lady lost it. Completely. She started screaming at me that kids don’t know and that she didn’t mean anything and all this.

I told her I get she’s a kid, but maybe teach her to not stare in people’s windows?

Again, she lost it. Her kid started sobbing. This woman called the cops on me for making her daughter cry. Not kidding. She called the cops for that.

I tried walking over to her a few minutes later and talk to her, tell her I get kids will be kids, but kid should know to not stare in windows, and she just continued to go the fuck off on me. And how I made her daughter cry and made her daughter hysterical and how I’m going to get arrested for making her daughter so upset.

The cops came. They actually did. I told them I just tried to tell her I wasn’t ok with her kid looking in my window. The cops were not impressed by this call, at all. We live in Chicago, there’s about 102839 other things the cops could be doing besides dealing with this.

They told us to avoid each other. No problem for me.

Am I the asshole for this? Should I have been more understanding? ######

Response: NTA.  The mom should have told her child not to stare in the window. ######


Prompt: To be honest she is very lazy and does not train her dog or bring it outside. He shots and pees all over their house and she doesn’t care. She wants to bring the dog because she refuses to put it in a kennel. She asks all the time and makes up a sob story on why she needs to bring him. I told her If she started actually taking care of her dog that he could come. My friend told me I was an asshole for causing a family member to be inconvenienced and that I judged the way she cared for her dog. ######

Response: NTA.  That’s a big inconvenience and mess to impose on someone. ######