Prompt:
I was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.

He asked what address I wanted  the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks

Since my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.

As for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it.

But I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.

So I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.

The lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.

It’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said  I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.

And that’s where I am now. ######

Response: NTA I've had a life insurance policy and will since I was 25. It's my responsibility to make sure in the event of my death my possessions and my family/friends are taken care of. Not theirs. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account; he uses reddit too.

Background:My husband and I are both 27 and have been married for almost 3 years, no kids.

I have suffered with OCD for the majority of my life. I was officially diagnosed when I was 23 and finally got medication. The medication has greatly reduced my panic attacks, but it has also made me tired all the time.

My husband finds some of my OCD tics fascinating, which I don't blame him for, because I can see why he thinks that. I have talked to him about all my weirdest ones: the fact that I can't have my hands in the same position at the same time, the fact that I can't touch the mole on my neck or else I have compulsions to squeeze the skin, etc. (There are many more but those are most relevant.)

Sometimes, my husband induces my OCD to mess with me. Like if he's holding my hands and forces them into the same position to see how I'll react. I've talked to him about it and hes since stopped doing that.

Today, he playfully touched the mole on the back of my neck. I was like "we talked about this; why do you trigger my OCD on purpose?"

He went on about how I need to overcome this anxiety and he was helping with my exposure to it. I told him he's not a licensed therapist and he's just stressing me out. I've gone to therapy. I see a psychiatrist frequently. I let the professionals handle that.

I was crying about how I feel he's disrespectful of my OCD by trying to induce those feeling's on purpose. He said that he's bothered that I'm giving in to irrational fears.

Now I'm crying and trying to remove myself from the situation but he's keeps telling me it's just a mole and I need to act like people treat it in the real world. I KNOW that logically; I try to explain to him that OCD is illogical which is why I treat it with therapy and medication, and why I feel disrespected when he messes with it on purpose for no real reason.

Who's the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA I'm SO angry on your behalf.

Have you mentioned the word sadistic to him? The fact that he doesn't "get" OCD doesn't excuse his behavior. If you had PTSD from a home invasion, would he sneak up on you wearing a ski mask to help you _get over it_? PTSD isn't "logical" either. UGH!

So he knows enough about you, your life, your experience, psychology, brain chemistry, OCD etc that he can "fix you" simply by badgering, taunting, and  tormenting you into mental health? What an ignorant, arrogant, cruel AH.

If he won't stop _torturing_ you, you'd be SO much better alone. ######


Prompt:
This is a throwaway account and I sincerely tried to word this correct.

Last year I got really sick and I lost a lot of weight, resulting with me on TPN and a feeding tube. I get 100% of my nutrition from both of these lines. I had to move back home and my mom became qualified to be my caregiver and she is being paid for helping me. When I get eat I get sick 100% of the time but I still want to be able to eat and taste food, and my doctor encourages eating so that I can maintain some function. My doctor knows I get sick and still expects me to eat and I want to eat so I do. My mother thinks I'm selfish because shes my caregiver and she knows I'll just get sick if I eat, which is more stress and anxiety for her. I talked to her over it and I told her that the majority of the time when I get sick I dont make any mess, and if I do I clean it up. She said that it's more than that because when I'm sick it adds a bunch of stress to the family because they are worrying about me instead of doing their own business. I genuinely feel bad about that but also I'm hungry. My TPN and tube bypasses my stomach so I dont get any satisfaction or fullness and I really miss food. My mom thinks I'm TAH for adding extra stress and I dont mean to be. I want to eat without it affecting anyone else but because that's impossible AITA ######

Response:
 NTA I'm NJ tube dependent as well and not eating is horrible. I do exactly the same as you. Only worry I have is that when I puke, I could flip my tube into my stomach and organising endoscopies as a single parent is a nightmare.

Surely they would be worried/stressed if you didn't eat anyway. Your body/health isn't there for their convenience. I had the same problem with using a wheelchair but my family just have to deal with it. It's hard though because when they act like that, they make your illness/body about them and add to the humiliation of the whole situation. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)

I (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own)  and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.

The only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it.

After class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt.

I haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?

ETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ######

Response: NTA I'm my opinion you were dressed appropriately, what wasn't appropriate was him bringing up your "obvious nipple piercing" ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because some of my cousins might recognize the situation.

I won't mince words: I'm (22F) the product of an affair. My father comes from a wealthy family and is a businessman in Asia, and my mother used to be a flight attendant in the 90s. My dad has always been there when I was growing up, even if my mom and I live in the US, and has provided for us financially. His “real” family knows about me: he and his wife “Sarah” got married out of business convenience and she’s never resented me or made me feel bad in any way. I’ve always respected her for letting me have a relationship with my older brothers, and letting me come with their family on summer vacations. She even sent our family flowers when my mom got married a few years ago. Sadly Sarah passed away from cancer a few months ago. It’s been rough on my dad and brothers, she was a wonderful, kind woman and I miss her a lot.

Sarah was very, very wealthy and left my brothers a significant inheritance. Apparently she also left me something in her will: a few thousand dollars. I burst into tears when my brothers called me with the news, I didn’t expect her to even acknowledge me in any way as her husband’s bastard child even if we had a good relationship. The problem is my family: my uncles and grandma think that I shouldn’t accept the money because I’m “not family.” My brothers have been saying that over in their country, Sarah’s family is also contesting the will to remove me because I’m not her daughter or related to her in any way. I’ve been feeling pressured to not accept the money even if my dad and brothers say I have every right to accept it. AITA for thinking about taking my inheritance? ######

Response: NTA I'm glad you had so many wonderful people that loved you. She wanted you to have it and it made her happy yo give it yo you. ######


Prompt: My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids.  Today my wife received a call from the  principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair.  I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos.  My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times.   I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ######

Response:
 NTA I'm a teacher and if a student is doing something that can disrupt class (even online class) I would talk to that student and, if things didn't change with the parents. As your said, the teacher was not bothered. The other parent is the AH.

Also, it's almost impossible for kids to stay super quiet in school, imagine at home... Your son did nothing wrong.

Edit about my english: english is not my 1st language and I don't live on an english speaking country, so sorry about the bad grammar and typos (: ######


Prompt: A coworker committed insurance fraud and bragged through the office about it. We work for the insurance company. There is an investigation into her conduct. She is saying that we all knew about it and we are just as guilty so we should all be fired too. AITA for telling the investigators all the info they need like when she claimed and how. It was for a mobile phone. She said she left it on the top of her car then drove off. But her husband was still using the phone until the day the replacement arrived and then he sold it to a friend. So they got a new phone, and money for the old one. It was only about $900 but it's still fraud. And she still wanders around the office like she didn't do anything wrong. She is work friend but I would rather have my job than her in my life. AITA?? ######

Response: NTA I wouldn't just be throwing her under the bus, I'd be the one driving it. Insurance fraud is a good way to fuck up your life and she was an idiot for doing that. The fact that she was trying to drag yall down with her shows what a great friend she was anyways. ######


Prompt: My husband and I (24m and 21f) are expecting a baby boy in August and a lot of the family wants to come visit us once he’s born to see him. One family member is my cousin, Nicky (21f). Nicky and I are close in age and pretty much grew up together. She’s always been a very entitled and mean spirited person because her parents never disciplined her, and we even grew apart as we got older because of it. At our family get together yesterday, Nicky started making rude remarks to her boyfriend and parents. I ignored most of what she said until I heard her say something about how I married an “ugly, fat guy” because I was desperate. I told Nicky that was extremely hurtful to my husband and that her boyfriend was no prize either. She then went off about the baby, saying he was going to be ugly and that she hoped he was going to be born with various disabilities. She even said something about shaking him if she ever got her hands on him. This was the last straw for me and I told her that she’s not allowed anywhere near our baby when he’s born and that she can go ‘F’ herself for saying such a terrible thing. My aunt, Nicky’s mom, said that’s extremely selfish of me and that Nicky was just kidding and deserves a relationship with my son. I refuse to change my mind about this and never want her to see my baby if I can help it. Am I the asshole for deciding this? ######

Response: NTA I wouldn't have someone like that around my kids either, I'd block her and her mother. ######


Prompt:
My sister has been dating this guy for the past year or so, and I really don't like him because he's been arrested, has been caught with drugs, is very loud and obnoxious, and neither do our parents, but she's held strong with this guy and refuses to let anybody separate them.

We have a younger brother who was born deaf who has tried his best to be civil towards the boyfriend, but not long ago, I came across my sister and him talking about how dumb he was and mocking him and just generally being cruel. (He primarily communicates through Sign Language, but has started to make attempts to talk out loud)
Later that day, I brought it up my sister and she said that I shouldn't be so angry about it, but I told her that it wasn't right and that she and her boyfriend were acting like he didn't have a brain. This escalated into a fight that ended with us not speaking and me refusing to talk to her boyfriend.

Recently, my parents allowed my sister to have her boyfriend over and I refused to make the usual small talk. She got angry, he got angry, but I refused. My sister accused me of being angry just for the sake of being angry and that I was being ridiculous. To back me up, I involved our older brother in the fight and he sided with me.
For any needed context, to avoid creating a rift, I didn't tell our younger brother about what my sister had been saying. ######

Response:
 NTA I would wait till all of you are in the same room and just casually ask him

"So what other disabilities do you make fun of people for having?"

for when your sister gets mad

"I cant believe you're willing to settle for a guy who insults your deaf brother, you must think very little of yourself if you think you can't do better than that." ######


Prompt:
We (30/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.

I'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.

Anyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.

Finally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said "I thought you didn't want any". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.

I asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.

We continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.

Am I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.

Thank you! ######

Response: NTA i would start just cooking for myself and if he came in expecting food I’d be like well you didn’t ask and now I’m busy so sucks to suck. 🤷🏼♀ ######


Prompt:
I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.

 I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her "ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it).

AITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ######

Response: NTA I would say bringing up the money you gave her previously may have not been the best option for being civil but all you’re trying to do is show you’re happy about this development. Gives her no reason to treat you like you can’t tell them anything at all just because you have a little more money to go around. ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have been staying at home with my family for the last two month. My family wanted me to spend quarantine with them, so I have been working from my parents house since.

My mom and dad (50s), sister (12), and I have been going on daily evening walks with our two dogs - one is mine and the other our family dog. This is usually a great and enjoyable time for our family. For the last week, my dad and sister really got into a game called “Poop Tag”, it’s basically where after the dogs poop and the bag is tied they throw the dog poop bag at each other and my mom and I.

I hate this game. I don’t like getting poop, even if it’s in a bag, thrown at me and I don’t find it funny. I told them multiple times I would not walk with them if this continued. I think they thought I was joking, because they would not stop AND added new components to this game - wave poop above my head, pretend to hit me with it with large swings.

Two days ago I refused to go on walks with them anymore and now just walk my dog alone. They’ve since apologized to me and my mom for this game and has asked me to rejoin our family walks.  I do miss our family walks and probably want to rejoin, but am still really mad about the poop tag. I want to wait it out for a couple more days to get over this. Am I being unreasonable here? ######

Response:
 NTA I would have done the same thing. It's not a 'fun family activity' if one of the family members is having a shit time
Go on another walk and see if they start behaving ######


Prompt:
Throwaway I don't want to post on my main account because my girlfriend follows it

My girlfriend is an artist as her hobby she is pretty good. Last year I started drawing as way to cope with a passing of my father. I ended up being decent after a while and I thought I should start improving my art skills and being professional about it. I ended up drawing "famous" manga characters in the sketch book and real life items.

I showed some of the mutual friends between me and my girlfriend and they liked mine a lot. Recently our mutual friends have stopped liking my girlfriends artwork and started liking mine more. I never brag about it to my girlfriend. yesterday  a mutual friend was visiting out apartment and told me that my artwork is better than my girlfriends. My girlfriend heard that and became really mad at me and said that I stole the one thing she was better at than me.

So last night my girlfriend told me she got rid of the sketch book because i was spending to much time on it. This sketch book I had since my fathers passing and had my first artwork. She told me that I was not taking care of the dog which is the reason she threw away the art book. I spend at least 2 hours with the dog after work. I explained to her I was upset with what she did with my sketch book.

My girlfriend then told me that she threw it away because I stole her hobby from her.  She said it was never really my hobby and it was only her hobby. She said I should not feel bad about throwing the notebook and I should be grateful for her actions.  So now I am wondering if I was the asshole for stealing girlfriends hobby and then for being upset she threw out my sketch book. ######

Response: NTA I would get away from the gf that's pretty crazy also your friends are kinda assholes for comparing you both ######


Prompt:
I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.

However, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.

She hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.

WIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ######

Response: NTA I would bring it up before she spends it all tbh. You lent the hand and helped out. Now it’s her turn to pay it back. ######


Prompt:
Hello

So today I (22m) was at a house/pool party at my cousin's house (restrictions are being lifted here) I didn't know a ton of people there, so I was mostly just drinking soda, people watching, and spending time on my phone lol.

At one point, a kid (1.5ish) toddled past me and headed straight for the pool. I didn't know the kid, nor was I sure if "their adult" was around. I was lounging and he walked past me about three feet away, so not within grabbing distance unless I got up.

I watched as the kid got closer to the pool, and when I realized he wasn't going to stop, I sat up and started saying "uhhh" pretty loud. Before anyone heard me though, he fell into the pool and the pretty loud splash alerted his dad, who quickly jumped in after him.

The kid was fine, just a little spooked, but my cousin screamed at me for not stopping him, when I had seen the kid go past.

But 1. I don't know the kid 2. Wasn't close enough to grab him without getting up 3. I started saying something to alert other people 4. His parents should've kept a closer eye on him

My cousin eventually just asked me to leave, and her fam is mad at me.

Tl:Dr - I watched an unknown toddler head for a pool and didn't grab him

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA I work with kids and I still probably would have had a similar reaction. I don't have fast reflexes outside of my job because I don't want parents to be freaked out by my concern with children since I don't actually have kids. It was a matter of seconds, not minutes where you had tons of time to think - and you didn't know who the parent was or where they were. I assume there were adults all around who could have been mom/dad.

I think your cousin's reaction was strange. Not everyone thinks, "Shit, I should get up and pick up that strange child whose family I don't know!" during an otherwise innocuous event. ######


Prompt:
I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.

She mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too.

Then she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.

She looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.

AITA here? ######

Response: NTA I was a single mom. If you're not into the kids, don't waste her time and money on a sitter. ######


Prompt:
Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there.

But my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.

I think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.

AITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ######

Response: NTA I used to smoke weed like a crack junkie. Couldn’t eat or do anything without it. I don’t know if it’s inherently addictive but for me (an addict) anything can become addictive and weed was my number 1 drug of choice. I also have NOTHING against weed or people who smoke it. I just cannot smoke it without turning into a junkie over it so I have to abstain completely. That’s just my experience. I also know that no one else could have gotten me to that conclusion. I had to realize on my own that it was a problem. Anyone who criticized my use or tried to get in the way was going to be collateral damage. The only thing you can do is accept that you have zero control over her behavior and it truly sucks but it’s the truth. ######


Prompt:
Ok ok, first thing first i have nothing against marijuana at all. I think its very beneficial for people who use it to control anxiety and calm them down, zero judgment there.

But my girlfriend is seriously reliant on the stuff. Like, if she ever gets a stomachache, she almost always goes for weed over any other remedy. And now if she doesnt get a smoke in often, her stomach hurts so bad she barley moves. She also smokes before most meals, and has told me in the past that her thoughts are always drifting towards her next hit, even when we're having a great time, or staying with my family.

I think that if she could get this under control it could be more healthy, but some people tell me I'm an asshole for even thinking about interfering with her smoking. And she occasionally guilt trips me when I suggest we help her control it.

AITA for wanting to help her reel back her weed usage? ######

Response: NTA I use marijuana daily for pain, but I also stop periodically to make sure I can. Also, it can cause nausea and stomach pain in some people. Her cure may be aggravating her situation ######


Prompt:
I live in an apartment. Second floor, covered but outdoor walkway, medium walk from the street. I pay $8-12 from my limited means (I don't have a car, also due to limited means) to have groceries brought to me from walmart.

So here's the issue. Someone always seems to say "Oh could ya come down to the car and get your groceries?" or something of the like. And I think- *no! I checked "contactless delivery." I paid you! I have several good reasons (a bad back and heavy items among them) to pay to have groceries brought to me. Do your job!*

There was at least one time when it was an older woman who complained of hip trouble when telling me to carry them myself. Which I did, cheerfully. But... why are you hiring someone to carry groceries who can't or won't carry groceries? Is it so wrong to just ask for what I paid for? ######

Response: NTA I understand the delivery person not wanting to carry groceries up stairs, but everyone has parts of their jobs that they don't like doing. You do them anyway, because *it's your job.* You paid for a service and you should receive that service. ######


Prompt:
I'm working at home for now and thus doing frequent Zoom meetings. One of my co-workers has started in these meetings whenever she has to state her name and position also stating "my pronouns are she and her" after that. No one really seems to care either way and hasn't acknowledged that, and no one else has started doing so. She also now has them in the signature of her email.

We were recently chatting in the IM app and then she asked me why I or anyone else hasn't done this too. This is likely because we were kind of close in the office. I just told her I don't see a need and everyone already knows I'm a guy and I look like one (I even have a beard.) She got kind of upset and said that's not the point and it's about creating a more inclusive workplace but she's getting frustrated no one else is doing so. She told me it's makes things more inclusive for trans people, but we have no trans employees as far as I can tell and if we do they've transitioned so much and so effectively they are recognizable as such and would probably just want to be treated as normal. So I flat out told her that I won't be stating pronouns anywhere and don't find it necessary. She seemed to take it kind of person and has lately been a bit bitter to me, probably realizing if she can't sway me to it no one else will. I've always found our workplace inclusive and open-minded anyway and don't see how this'll help anyone.

So am I being any type of asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA I understand her argument that “saying your pronouns makes those who feel they need to clarify feel less singled out”, but announcing it at the beginning of each meeting feels forced and (from what you describe) unnecessary.

Like, are you meeting with new people each time or is she just constantly reminding her coworkers that already know her? ######


Prompt:
My husband wants to go camping with another couple and our one year old this weekend at a park that is 3 1/2 hours away. He wants the both of us to call out of work so we can start driving up there early tomorrow morning. Neither of us have PTO to use so, I told him I don’t want to go unless we go somewhere closer so I can at least go to work. He refuses to compromise so I told him he can just go by himself. We cannot afford to each lose a day of work. We would also have to buy a tent, food, and other things you need while camping. He thinks I am being an asshole but, I feel like I’m being financially responsible.

Am I TA here? ######

Response: NTA I think you sound like you’re being very reasonable. Also, as someone who has done a lot of camping in her life, I’d say it’s better to pick somewhere close to home for your first trip. Especially with a baby. That way if you forget something, one of you can easily run home and grab it. ######


Prompt:
So the way I make toast when I make a full breakfast is a bit weird. I toast it twice on the lowest setting so it's fresh and warm when I've finished with the fry pan. It's just easier to time things that way, and it's how I like to cook.

My SO doesn't understand why I do this, and wants me to change it back to his preferred setting when I'm done, so he doesn't accidentally come up with slightly toasted bread instead of brown.

I maintain that he's a big boy and can change the setting just like I do when I go to use it.

His arguments are that it's weird how I do my toast (he's repeatedly asked me to re-explain because he just doesn't get it) , and when I change the setting its like "putting the kettle setting on 50 degrees and not changing it back".

I feel like this disagreement is so stupid and I have no need to explain why I like to cook the way I do, but it keeps coming up so I'm honestly wondering if I'm going crazy or really being THAT inconsiderate. AITA? ######

Response: NTA I think the default should be for whoever likes the less brown toast. You can always toast more, but you can’t un-toast. ######


Prompt:
My friend was ranting to me about his tinder experience to me, how no one responds to his messages, how his he has been ghosted in the past, women on the app only swipe right on super hot guys, etc. He is generally a laid back person so I was taken aback. I said that he displaying some incel-esque tendencies and should rethink and take better pics. He called me douche and said he could trust me.

He posted this on friend group chat and now people are calling me out. "broke the bro code", "check my privilege" amoung other messages. People are saying that he was just ranting about tinder and took it too far. According to me, my friend was blaming his lack of success on "shallow tinder girls".

Aita? ######

Response: NTA I think the bro code actually covers making sure your bro doesn't turn into a Nice Guy and your other friends need to reread the pamphlet. ######


Prompt:
&#x200B;

My brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA I think sometimes on reddit people confuse meddling with actually caring about people and telling them what needs to be said. Sometimes people show you their true colour but people are just blind to it because their emotions get in the way. 40k is a years salary, but more than that your brother tried hard to make it special he wasn’t just trying to spend a lot of cash he was trying to get her something special that he put his heart into. If she couldn’t focus on that, yeah I think your brother is way better off. You’re a good sister and you said what needed to be said. ######


Prompt:
Sorry this is long ... Anyway, I was once happily married with a newborn baby.
My sister on the other hand is a heroin addict and found herself evicted from her house and child services found her children malnourished and emaciated after having missed 92 days of school so they were taken from her.
So I took her into my home.
Once there, I had a long heart to heart with her and I told her I was going to pay for her to go to rehab. I took out a hefty personal loan to fund this, which I am still paying off.
After her stint in rehab she had to be signed into the care of somebody who was responsible for keeping her clean, once again I was all too happy to do it. The day she came home with me, she prostituted herself to my husband for drug money and overdosed that day.
My marriage effectively ended and she ended up dating him for several months!
7 years have passed now and I have heard from my family that she has now turned her life around and is a strong member of her local church and has even been baptized. They have been hounding me and hounding me that I should reach out to her and try to mend our relationship.
Im just not buying it. I feel like this is all just an angle she's playing and she hasn't changed at all, but now it's like I'm the asshole for not reaching out to the woman who destroyed my life because "she's changed" ######

Response: NTA I say keep the trash in the dumpster ######


Prompt:
My husbands father bought a giant utility trailer. He primarily bought it so that he could use our brand new tractor and haul it to their property they are building on when they want to use it. Kind of manipulative imo but that’s besides the point. His dad offered to let us use it if we wanted to (we live on a farm). We don’t have much of a use for it except maybe once a year when we are harvesting hay.

Today his dad made it clear that he intends to store the trailer here full time. He wants it in our front yard. I absolutely don’t want it here. My husband agreed to let them leave it here, even though he had already agreed with me that they couldn’t store it here.

We don’t have the space for it and I don’t want our yard/property looking like a junk yard. Our farm is very picturesque and quite honestly it’s very beautiful property that could be a B&B if we wanted it to. We already have a couple of big tractors and our own utility trailer, plus a horse trailer. It’s starting to feel cluttered and I really don’t want another giant piece of machinery in our yard.

Not only that but we already stored his fathers boat here for over a year. Every time he would come to get it/use it he damaged our yard severely and our apple trees. He would back into the branches and break them off, and leave deep gouges in our front lawn. It took ages to repair and he didn’t apologize or see any issue with it. To him, our place is just a farm and the aesthetics of the place doesn’t matter. To me, I am passionate about preserving the natural beauty of the place and I spent a lot of time landscaping and making it beautiful.

His parents have a space on the side of their house they could easily store this trailer.

AITA for making my husband tell them they can’t store the trailer here? ######

Response: NTA I mean... he should store it at his house especially if he has space for it. It makes no sense that he’s just storing things at your house. ######


Prompt:
Last night, after we put our little one down, my husband hopped on to play games and I headed upstairs to watch girly shows and get some sleep since lo has been an early riser these days. I settled in and was just about to fall asleep when our dog let out a panicked howl. I knew my husband wouldn't hear it with his gaming headset on, so I go down in my underwear and a t-shirt to check things out. It's almost always a neighbor who gets home from work late and their car door spooks the dog for some reason.

I get downstairs, and there is my MIL standing IN MY HOUSE!!! Her first words are "I think we need to talk about your behavior." Que explosion from me. Here is a brief summary of what I remember saying:

"What the #@$%?!?! Why are you here?! Why did you think it's ok to let yourself into our home without permission?! You need to get out now!!! You need to get outside now or I'm going to call the police!"

She stammers a bit, flustered at my outburst, and then runs out crying. I get my husband and he is PISSED. This is a hard boundary line crossed as both my husband and I are private people and this IS known to them.

We get outside with masks on to try and calm down and get to the bottom of it all. We have an emotional talk about how their choices have impacted their ability to see their grandchild and it finally appears to have sunk in, even though we have explained this to them before.

Whatever, we kinda patch things up and she apologises. It seems sincere but still seemed to lack the understanding of the severity of the offense since she then asked me for an APOLOGY for threatening to call the cops. No, I'm not sorry. You broke into our house and my reaction was justified, or so I thought. She didn't push it after I ignored the comment completely and continued with the regular good bye pleasantries, but I am curious if that may have been an AH move. ######

Response: NTA I mean, come on, she entered your property without permission, that’s crossing some hard boundaries. It doesn’t matter if she is family, that’s crossing the line. ######


Prompt:
My flatmate and I have been splitting rent / living together for 1.5 years. She’s my mums co workers daughter and there’s a loose arrangement that both parents help us with rent (living in the UK is rough) so both of us sort of go along with this arrangement as it helps both of us save on finances.

She is a young mum with 2 kids aged 7 and 8. Because she’s still in her 20’s she will often go out most nights and go to parties/ clubs/ etc and in general she is more of a ‘fun mummy’ than a more stable one.

Over time I’ve frustratedly realised she will leave the kids with me and be out all night etc. Lately her kids have been calling me dad, with direct encouragement from their mum.

She laughs and says it’s cute, films me and them without any of our consent and says ‘daddy’s here’ etc. I don’t like this and have constantly called the police anytime I suspect she’s about to leave them with me etc who come around and ‘talk to her’ every time but that’s it.

I finally told the kids that I’m not their dad, even though I’m sure on a visceral level they knew that, and  they were visibly upset.

My flatmate, her mum, and my mum are all saying what I did was terribly cruel, and that everybody knows it ‘takes a village’ to raise kids and that ‘ it was obvious’ I should be helping looking after the kids if I’m living there and that I need to grow the fuck up.

Am I the asshole,? ######

Response: NTA I mean she’s young but she’s being so grossly irresponsible. Just because you share a space with her doesn’t mean you signed up to coparent her kids I mean Jesus calling you dad? That’s fucked up ######


Prompt:
Ok, so I have a few different properties just all over the place, most of them are empty or I rent them out for next to nothing (I’m not big on the idea of making money being a landlord). Anyway, I had a girlfriend for a short time, and things didn’t work out but I said she could live in an apartment I own for as long as she wants and all she had to do was pay the bills, as she was going through a tough time. So that’s been the case for some time now. Recently I met a man who’s been really affected by the pandemic, and is on the verge of being homeless, whereas my ex gf is making decent money now and doesn’t necessarily need the place. So I told her she has a month to move out, as I’ll be moving in this guy. Some may say, why not offer him another one of my properties to stay or something. Well this apartment happens to be the only one in the state, my other ones are either overseas or out of state (I use them for holiday purposes not rental purposes it’d be redundant to own a bunch of properties in the same area).

My ex says this is unfair of me to do during this time, and that I promised she could stay as long as she liked. Whilst I do feel guilty I ultimately think I made the right decision. ######

Response: NTA I mean it is your property, however you might seriously want to check and make sure you’re doing everything legally, especially with the pandemic going on. ######


Prompt: This sounds like a dick move, but hear me out. My younger brother (12) has been playing Fortnite continuously every day for this entire “break”. He recently lost his Xbox power cord to our dad for not doing the dishes and other chores that were not completed, but he still has his phone. Because he isn’t downstairs playing Xbox, he is playing Fortnite videos on YouTube at stupid high volume level. He will sit in my room and watch them, and I’ve asked him multiple times to turn it down, as I’m also trying to play my Xbox with some friends, and need to be able to hear them. He largely ignores me and says “it’s not that loud”. For context, I’m also a weeb, and enjoy a variety of Sub and Dub anime. And I thought that if he won’t turn his volume down, I won’t either. He is not a fan of anime at all, and has asked me in the past to not watch it near him because he “thinks the voices are too high pitched and creepy.” So I thought when we eat lunch (my dad is working right now and we are home alone) I can turn my sub anime to the max, and make him understand that it’s rude to do things like this. ######

Response: NTA I lowkey agree with you sometimes younger people need to be put in your shoes to fully understand how rude something can be. Not everyone has developed empathy naturally. ######


Prompt:
My daughter really likes rap music, which while a little strange doesn’t really bother me. She’s 15 and has heard all the things in the songs at school anyway. She listens on her speaker at my house.

She’s with her mom for quarantine, and we’ve fought over the music in the past. Recently her mom called me and told me to stop letting her listen to rap at my house because she’s being difficult about it at hers. I usually uphold her rules and punishments so long as they’re within the realm of reason, but this one seems silly to me.

I told her no and she cussed me out and hung up. AITA? ######

Response: NTA I listened to bananas stuff at that age. Rap, Norwegian death metal, Numa Numa. She's just exploring and expressing herself with different music. Sounds like you and your ex need to have an open an honest convo as to why she is so against it. If she can't articulate a reason other than "it's inappropriate" then nothing should change. ######


Prompt:
My family owns a successful property development firm. I reluctantly took a position with them because my father wants to take a less active role and my younger brothers aren't ready. While I work with my brothers and fathers, everyone is treated equally and it is very harmonious.

Lately, my SIL has been bouncing ideas off us and showing up to "help out" I'm not okay with either of that. I sarcastically asked my brother if she was looking for a job and he said she wasn't because she was happy being a SAHM. I told him that was good because no one's spouse is going to work here. That will bring too much drama. Then I told him she needs to stop hanging out like she has nothing better to do as he's no different than any other employee.

Not only does she float around but she's helping him his admin work even though we already have paid people to do that and now she's questioning business moves or offering her own. This has gone beyond a spouse showing up to go out to lunch but my brother disagrees.

I finally emailed her on my own and told her that this wasn't her business, she knows nothing about it and her ideas and showing up to help my brother was not wanted. This wasn't a family-issue. This was a business issue. I told her she's his wife, but in no way a member, stakeholder or employee.

Of course she cried to my brother that I "attacked" her when she was trying to be helpful and he has heat with me. ######

Response: NTA I know people are thinking you should have left it to your brother to handle, but you already talked to him and he either didn't do anything or she ignored what he said. Either way it's not good business to have someone who isn't an employee at all drifting in and out and interfering with what the employees are there to do. ######


Prompt:
These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m)

My mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ######

Response: NTA I know parents who refuse to let family watch their kids over something petty. I think your reason is reeeeally valid. ######


Prompt:
For context, I’ve always tried really hard at school and been for the most part an A-/A student- by no means perfect grades but generally good grades.

My brother on the other hand straight up doesn’t try at all. He’s really smart so in some classes he gets B+’s (considering how little he tries and the fact that there are large assignments that he neglects to turn in, this is pretty impressive) but there are also many classes that he’s more in the C/C- range.

My parents try to force him to do his work and they’ve gotten him tutors and stuff but my brother either refuses to get tutored or doesn’t pay attention, wasting time and money.

The thing is, now that we’re doing online learning, my parents have basically given up trying to enforce any rules on him whatsoever.

They still force me to store all of my devices in the kitchen in the night bc “blue light is harmful to sleep” but they don’t care at all that my brother is staying up past 2am playing video games with his friends.

Where the disagreement comes in is tonight, I was feeling stressed and I wanted to watch Netflix on my computer before bed.

This started an argument between my mom and I because she was refusing to let me keep my computer in my room *just that once* while at that moment my brother was playing video games with his friends.

My mom said that it was unreasonable for me to be upset because my brother and I are “going on different paths in life and so she treats us a little differently” which I understand to some extent and am usually very accepting of (this device thing isn’t the only disparity in the way we’re treated it’s just the one relevant to this story) but it just felt like such a blatant double standard that my mom wasn’t giving me this little bit of leeway in something that my brother is allowed to do literally every day.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta I honestly think your parents have probably just given up on your brother and probably don't see him as being what they would consider "successful" in life but parents who do this to their children usually make them a lot less motivated individuals in the future. I would talk to a therapist and definitely have a talk with your parents. This isn't right ######


Prompt:
We're currently not speaking because of this issue, since I find it gross and my boyfriend can't see my problem with it.

I do most of the cooking in our relationship, which I am fine with. However, occasionally my boyfriend will want to do some cooking together/do some baking. We do a lot of activities together, especially now we're both home a lot more.

The one thing I cannot stand is a habit he has when it comes to food. If my boyfriend thinks something is too dry or needs a better consistency, he will use his own spit and put it into the food. For example, the other day we were icing homemade cookies and I caught him 'thinning out' the icing mixture by spitting inside the bowl and mixing it in.

This has been an issue for some time, so he tries to hide it whenever he does it from me. But every time I catch him I just find it gross. His reply is to shrug and tell me that I get more of his saliva in my mouth when we kiss anyway, so it shouldn't be a big deal and makes literally no difference. I've pleaded with him to use water, but he says that 'the texture isn't the same' and has pointed out that 'if I can't tell the texture is different, surely it doesn't matter that it's not water anyway'.

I know that in a way he's right and it's not like I complain about his spit when we make out, but something about it being mixed with food just grosses me out.

AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to spit in our food when we cook together? ######

Response: NTA I honestly am struggling to even believe this is real. Who in their right mind uses spit in food? Especially food other people are eating? Definitely not the same as using water it’s just not sanitary. Does he brush his teeth first or is he getting old food particles from whatever he’s eaten that day in the food he’s cooking? ######


Prompt: Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ######

Response: NTA I have two big, sweet pit bulls. They like to walk in different directions and I can’t control them when I walk them together. Therefore I walk them separately. It’s safer for them, me, and everyone else. ######


Prompt:
My ex-wife thinks I’m the asshole, but we have a weak relationship anyway, so I’m turning to you folks. I (42M) have primary custody of my child “Olly” (15). Olly belongs to the LGBT, which I think I’ve done a good job of supporting. Olly has had a tough time of it the past few years, and they are making terrible grades at school and just generally failing to launch. I think a lot of this is due to issues in my ex wife’s household, but that’s a topic for another post.

Anyway, Olly has come out a total of four times. The first time, they came out as gay at the age of 12. Once everyone was informed, they had a “coming out” party with their grandparents, me, my ex, and some friends. It was nice, and I thought that was the end of it.

But no. When Olly was 13, they came out as bisexual, as they’d developed a crush on a girl at school. About 9 months later, they came out as a trans woman (MtF). Finally, about a month ago, they revealed themselves to be agender (essentially a person who doesn’t feel like a boy OR a girl).

I’ve been refusing to throw coming out parties since the first one — we are on a shoestring budget, and our current apartment is shitty and not fit for a party. However, given that we are coming out of corona and Olly has saved some money from a side hustle they have, Olly is asking for another party. Plus, it’s pride month now, so Olly insists that the time would be especially appropriate.

I’m still saying no, because even if it’s their own money, it’s just a waste. Olly wants to take expensive art lessons this summer, and that money would really help us afford it. Plus, coming out for a fourth time seems like too much.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA I have never even heard of a coming out party and I have many friends who are LGBT and I myself am bisexual...

Honestly, to me, if someone was to make a big deal about my sexuality/gender, it would feel like they are pointing out that it is not the norm. But I've never been one to celebrate Pride and such. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday, after I get off my 12hr shift from treating covid patients at the hospital. I park and am going upstairs. My wife stopped by her car so I planned to meet her in the lobby to go up the elevator to our apartment.

Right as the door opens she says some guy started coughing on her on the way to the elevator. He was with his sister and niece. After my wife turns around and says “are you serious?” He laughs and says “it’s a joke”.

But this ticked me off, i go upstairs and confront the guy. Asking him if he thinks it’s funny to cough on people and say it’s a joke. He insistently continues it’s a joke, I’m sorry. I tell him i work with covid patients everyday and see them die on a daily basis. He then starts getting nervous and starts stuttering. But still insistent that it was a harmless joke. I ask him if it’s funny in a pandemic and he still says yes. He starts blaming it on he’s been quarantined for 8 weeks and he’s not thinking straight. We ask him if that’s the type of behavior he teaches his niece and he can’t answer.

I tell him, you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still transmit the disease. If you get my wife sick, you are responsible. He continues to chuckle and say it’s a joke. Until I tell him if she gets sick, you will be charged with acts of terrorism with a biological weapon as the Justice Department so nicely stated recently in March. He then gets scared and profusely apologizes. However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke.

I ask him for his ID so i can take a picture for contact tracing. He refuses, so i take a picture of him.

I reported him to the local PD. Who now has opened a case and has requested his personal information from our leasing office.

So Reddit, pandemic and all AITA for reporting him? ######

Response:
 NTA I have heard of a case in my region where people were tested, even with no symptoms, because they wanted to visit elderly family members. Sure enough; positive. They had zero symptoms but were transmitting the disease everywhere they went. Golf. Carpool. Shopping. And you don’t even have to cough for it to spread, just normal breathing or talking is enough to spread it.

Nothing funny about this. Glad it’s a crime. ######


Prompt:
Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled "HEY!" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said "your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc." Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?
Tl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######

Response: NTA I have a toddler and a baby. Sometimes they get woken up. I hate it. Especially when it’s the only good nap they may get for the day. That being said, even if I’m annoyed, I’ve NEVER blamed the person who caused the noise. You can go about your business how ever you see fit, regardless of whether there could be a sleeping child. It was a public place, and you were totally not in the wrong. You could’ve been playing loud music and STILL not have been in the wrong. ######


Prompt:
Husband *has* to make a comment about anything I watch. Sitcom on? "Ew, I hate her hair." Historical video, "what are you watching?" Only for him to leave or interrupt within five seconds of me beginning to explain it. Watching a dog training video? "That's not how you train the dogs." He made fun of Frozen 2 relentlessly while our kids were watching. Thankfully the oldest has learned to tune him out, so nobody but me minded.

We have half a dozen screens in the home, so if he doesn't want to watch what's on my TV (I almost exclusively watch in our upstairs living room and we have two TVs downstairs and he has his own man cave with a gigantic computer monitor) he has the option to leave. I'm so sick of his pessimism at anything I'm watching that I'll pause my show or put on some comedy that you don't need dozens of episodes to understand what the heck is going on.

So, once again, AITA here? He makes it seem like I am vastly overreacting and that I should take his comments in stride. ######

Response: NTA I have a family member like this & it just ruins the experience of watching anything. I don't even tell this person in passing conversation what I've been watching because they'll have to comment on how it's 'stupid' or whatever. ######


Prompt:
Pretty much every time I go out I see numerous people wearing masks incorrectly in ways that make the masks completely useless. Most commonly having the mask only covering their mouth and not their nose. This seems like common sense, you breathe through your nose so the mask needs to also cover your nose.

The worst is when its food places, a local ice cream place, the coffee shop, fast food, etc.

WIBTA for reporting these employees? ######

Response: Nta I hate when workers are not doing their part. Either do it right or don't do it at all ######


Prompt:
I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.

AITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ######

Response: NTA I don’t understand why her religious beliefs should influence your behavior. You didn’t ask her to eat pepperoni and you didn’t even eat it in front of her. She needs to calm down a little bit. You have nothing to apologize for and she is the one not respecting you. ######


Prompt:
Hello everyone, a bit torn here and looking for outside guidance.

About 4 months ago I moved into an apartment with 3 strangers. The move in was a bit annoying — not only did they not have a key for me (I had to copy keys from one of the roommates after moving in) but my room was not vacuumed and generally kind of grimy.

FFW to about a month ago. For context, my room was by FAR the worst of the four bedrooms. Like an order of magnitude worse (no real door, tiny, hardly a window). I found out that my rent, which I’d assumed was ~15% of the total rent was actually 25%. This really annoyed me, so I decided to move out (and gave a months notice)

I just moved out this week, and my roommate said they’d fucked up the proration math for the new roommate, and I was going to be out 50$. I grimaced, but decided to just let it go. I have since moved elsewhere, about an hour away.

Today the roommate asked if I can return my key. I should have left it there, but forgot. I told the roommate I lost them and was still looking for them. She said I could come to the house and get her keys to make a copy for the new roommate. The grocery store around the block from the apartment has the ability to make keys. This also frustrated me in general as I think it’s an unreasonable request.

I’m kind of torn — on the one hand, I should give it back. On the other, it’s a huge pain and I wasn’t given a key when I moved in... I’m generally just miffed at the group and kind of just want to lie and say I’ve lost it.

WIBTA here? Further, do you think this pettiness will make me feel better? Please advise! ######

Response: NTA I don’t think you’re obligated to give the key if you weren’t provided one when moving in. However the person that gets screwed over and has to make a new key is the new person moving in who has nothing to do with the whole situation, not your old housemates. It would be kind to them to just give the key. ######


Prompt:
I own a retail shop / deli. I have this dude who is a barely regular customer. He always orders the same exact thing. Right after he says what he wants he glares at you / stares you down and says something to the effect of "you're going to give me a good portion right?" Hes a bigger muscular guy.

Hes done the same exact thing in his half a dozen visits to my business. He did it to me once and it definitely felt like he was trying to intimidate me. He did it to a few staff members and it seemed more aggressive / intimidating. I'm a guy in my thirties and my staff is all teenagers.

Finally today I waited on him and he did it to me. It definitely felt intimidating. I asked him what he meant trying to ask innocently. He repeated what he said and glared at me even more. I asked he was implying would happen if I didnt give him what he thought was a "good portion." He said that I "did want to do that." I told him to keep his hands where I could see them and get out of my business. As soon as I said that he seemed really flustered. Actually he seemed scared. I had a hunch all along he was a phony tough guy.

He tried to mutter something and I told him to get out. He left. ######

Response: NTA I don’t see what his problem is. Where does someone get off threatening violence over portion size? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter. Her baby daddy is not really in the picture and her daughter calls me dad. She still breastfeeds her kid like 5 times a day and co sleeps with her every night and breast feeds throughout the night.
I have tried to sleep in the same bed as them and have had a lot of trouble getting a good nights sleep which affects me throughout the day, her kid wakes up crying at least twice a night screaming and the only way to get her back to bed is by breastfeeding . Which tbh makes me a bit uncomfortable idk why it just does .
I have communicated how I feel about this to her and she snapped at me saying I was attacking her daughter and if I loved them I would just sleep in the same bed with everyone because that’s what SHE wants. For months I avoided spending the night at her house, but eventually she came around and we discussed strategies for stopping co sleeping and weaning her daughter from breastfeeding. I was on board with that,  I know a child’s routine is not easily disrupted and will take time.
We have lived together for almost a month now and she has made no effort whatsoever to do any of the things we talked about. It’s the same old routine as it was before , every night she sleeps in her daughters bed (my old bed that we put in her room).
I constantly tell her that I crave that “us” time for her and I to have some quality time together . But she becomes angry and defensive  with me stating that she is not going to give up time with her daughter for me and that none of what goes with her daughter is my decision at all . We haven’t slept in the same bed once since I lived here, we tried once but she left in the middle of the night.
It’s put a strain on our relationship.
AITA for feeling like this and wanting more time with her and just her ? ######

Response: NTA I don’t see this relationship working out, you dont matter to her and your needs don’t matter to her. You deserve better. You DO matter. ######


Prompt:
So, a few weeks ago me and my husband found out we were expecting, super excited. Because of the industry I work in, I wanted to tell my foreman ASAP, even though I was still VERY early (around 3/4 weeks). The problem was, my FIL works in the same industry as me and my husband (construction), so we figured we’d just tell our parents that weekend to save them from hearing it from someone else. Well, we went to both our parents’ houses and things went very smoothly and everyone was so over joyed, but I did say very sternly, “ I want to hold off on telling everyone else since it is so early, i hope that’s okay”. But I’m not sure my MIL even registered what I said because the next thing we know she’s calling my husband’s grandmother and aunt...
I said the same thing to my parents and they completely understood and kept their lips sealed, saying they’d wait for me to say “when” basically.
Well my husband was telling me the next day that his mom had told his other aunt, and then his cousin, and a couple uncles.
I was immediately stressed, I’d had a chemical pregnancy a few months prior, which is why I wanted to exercise caution to begin with.
His mother has made mis-steps like this is the past. I understand it’s not just MY news, but I wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling everyone and their mother.
I’m finding it hard to move on, and believe me I want to. But at the same time I feel disrespected by my MIL, and want her to realize that. Not sure if that’s even worth doing with her though. AITA? ######

Response: NTA I don't know if you can get through to her, but this was very inconsiderate of her. ######


Prompt:
I have an uncle, we were always super tight with each other. He is younger than most of his siblings so he is closer to my age. He would always come to visit when I was younger. But suddenly, a few years ago, he stopped  coming over, no texts, no calls. Radio silence.

When l was older, l later found out he was shunned for his orientation. Naturally, I was disgusted. My family is foward thinking on most matters but for some reason when it comes to LGBTQ + its like talking to a wall.

I remember he has a Facebook, I make an account and talk to him. It's like he never left, the conversation flows so naturally.

We continue like this for the longest time. Then just two weeks ago, he asks me a question. Whether my dad knows that we are talking.  I answer honestly.  He didn't.

My uncle then says we can't talk, if my dad doesn't know. He doesn't want to make more bad blood than there is already. He demands I tell him. He says he doesn't want to be anyone's secret.

I gather the confidence to tell my father and he is irate when l do. He says I must cut all contact immediately. It's useless,  I can't convince him otherwise.

Now is my problem is this.

If l tell my uncle the truth, he won't agree to ever talk again. He is too good for his own good.

I don't want to betray his trust. I love him and l know lying to him will gut him.

I really don't want to hurt him. I don't want to lose him either

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA I could not even imagine how hurtful this situation would be. Your uncle sounds like a bigger man than your dad could ever hope to be (no offense) but if you really love your uncle, you’d honor his wishes by telling him the truth. I am sure your uncle would love to have you back in his life & I’m fairly confident he would put up with your dad’s BS if it means having you around again. Are you living with your dad? What’s the worst possible consequence he could inflict on you if you stayed in touch with your uncle anyways? ######


Prompt:
My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.

I decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######

Response: NTA I completely agree, she shouldn’t give you a choice if she’s going to be mad at one of the options. It’s like a trap. The way you said she should have phrased it is a really good example and you should keep calling her out. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US.
I woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs. I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply "yes please" and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.

 While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says "dad my cup was there" his response was "you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning"... I hear this conversation and I ask if "my wife had her cup in place", he said "yes but she knows how I am".... I responded back with " you are just going to have to wait until she is finished"  he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter! I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so.
So AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada? ######

Response: Nta i can't belive how disrespectfull he is to his own kid. ######


Prompt:
I’m a college student (20 M) who’s currently home due to the current pandemic. Initially my plan was to take a couple summer classes at my university but now they’ve been moved online so I’m still at home. I’ve been staying productive while I’ve been here, but my mother has constantly been pushing into my privacy despite me making it clear I don’t appreciate it (I’m not doing anything illegal or immoral, I just like being left alone at times).

Recently we got a mesh wifi system which I found out comes with parental controls. I didn’t think much of it, but I’ve noticed that the wifi had started to stop working at 9:30 pm everyday. When I indirectly pointed this out, the problem seemed to magically rectify itself and I hoped that’d be the end. Cut to today when I check my phone at 9 and a “parental control” screen pops up on a very much PG website, and the wifi’s stopped functioning. Am I being unreasonable in assuming that I’m too old for these types of restrictions? I get that I’m under their roof right now, but it feels bad being treated as if I have a bedtime despite being an adult.[a screenshot of the parental controls](https://imgur.com/a/XkeCLLi) ######

Response:
 NTA I can understand wanting to protect kids (even young adults) from some of the wilder parts of the Internet, but keeping a 20 year old from using them internet or regular movies seems extreme.
Of course that’s assuming you’re not failing to tell us about your hidden porn addiction that resulted in you flunking out of school or some other situation that would make your parents go nuts. But barring anything like that, this is extreme. ######


Prompt:
I don't have the happiest home life, my dad and mom got into a lot of fights because he was cheating on her. I don't know why they're still together honestly.

He's also been angry at me a lot for academics, I've been studying from home and he thinks I'm being lazy and stupid

He and she fight a lot, and when that happens, I just kind of mentally shut down. Like let my eyes unfocus, stop paying attention to my hearing or other senses. Just relax into my own mind. It honestly feels like an out of body experience a little, I feel untethered from my own body, like I'm floating through empty space. It takes a while to come back too; like I feel kind of like I'm deep deep underwater and anything that someone says or does is blurred and delayed so much by the time it gets to me.

I know that sounds super weird but honestly it's the thing that's keeping me sane through this shit.

But I think it's been making my dad and mom really mad, when either of them is angry with me and I go to that place, they get furious, they yell at me for being a "fucking vegetable" and accuse me of being messed up in the head. Tried to shake me out of it once. Been telling their friends that I'm autistic. I don't think I am.

I know it makes them mad but it's honestly the nicest thing I can do for myself, I'm so sick of their shit. If I can't go somewhere physically, I guess the next best thing is to leave there mentally.

AITA for going to that other mental place when there's anger at home, even if it makes my dad and mom mad? ######

Response: NTA I am not a psych professional, but that sounds like dissociation. It’s a common coping response to stress and trauma; you are shielding yourself for the emotional harm and fear of physical harm you sense when the people who have power over you and who are supposed to protect and care for you seem to lose control of themselves. ######


Prompt:
Hello!
My sister said I could use her throwaway account so I didn’t have ties to my personal one. Also on mobile.

My husband’s sister, my SIL, is due to get married next month. The venue is allowing her wedding but they had to heavily adjust the guest list. My daughter was set to be the flower girl and my husband and I would just be attending as a guest. I was cut from the guest list. I understand as I have never been made to feel welcomed in the family and we’re not that close. Why take up a spot when she has plenty of other people she wants around?

Well due to obvious reasons, and my husband’s job banning travel (the only travel he is allowed is a work related trip here in the near future), he told my SIL they would no longer be able to attend. My SIL then decided that I would be the one to bring my daughter to the wedding but I still wouldn’t be a guest. I would just be driving her 12 hours to another state and hanging out at the grandparents home while everyone else is at the wedding.

Here’s where I feel like TA.
I informed her that I would not be sending or traveling with my daughter because 1- am immune compromised, 2- I have school (online) and a work from home job that demand my time as well, and 3- there are family members who my husband is no contact with and he would not want her around these people without one of us present.
This information caused her to massively flip. She said I was salty because I was cut from the guest list, she now no longer has a flower girl, and I’m ruining a very special family picture she has in mind. She was going to have a family photo taken at my MIL’s grave with everyone in wedding attire. I mentioned that my husband wouldn’t even be in the picture because he wouldn’t be able to attend but she just kept blaming me.

I’m honestly starting to overthink this to where I’m feeling like an asshole and maybe I should find a way to get my daughter there.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA I actually laughed out loud at the audacity she had to expect you to drop everything and being your young child to a wedding without either parent in attendance. For what?  A picture? ######


Prompt:
So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.
Today I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.
Fast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######

Response: NTA hunny you made arrangements, you did what you had to do . Whether it’s jealousy or he’s just a dick he’s just trying to make you feel guilty. Don’t let him. ######


Prompt:
I've had this phone number for 3 years. Since then, I receive many texts from the guy asking for verification codes and security codes sent to my number. The verification codes have started to seem scammy, including Google verification codes from non-Google numbers. And he asks me to send the code so he can verify his identity.

For years, I've been okay with it because I figure it can't hurt to help this guy out. But now, after years, I'm fed up and I'm starting to think my own identity is in danger from this guy still using my cell phone number.

After the most recent suspicious interaction I've had (the various Google verification codes) I decided to just block him. I feel bad, AITA? Should I unblock him and continue to help him unlock his accounts? ######

Response: NTA hundred percent. In 3 years, he should’ve figured his shit out. Does seem shady ######


Prompt:
Recently my great-grandma(98f) who we will refer to as Oma moved in with myself (34f) and my SO(37m). We are child-free so it made the most sense for Oma to live with us instead of anyone else in my family as I work from home and can take care of her. For the most part, Oma's mental facilities are intact however on her bad days she speaks entirely in German. To keep her from panicking and feeling comfortable I will carry on conversations with her in German.

To me, it's not a big deal if it keeps her calm and happy, I also don't feel it's harmful in any way. But my SO thinks it is rude that I carry on conversations with her in German as opposed to insisting on English. His main gripe is he can't understand what we are saying so therefore it is rude and I am excluding him from the conversation. I would be inclined to agree if she wasn't 98 almost 99 years old. And besides, we aren't even talking about him, which I've told him on occasion translating for him.

I understand that he feels excluded to an extent but at her age with her memory slipping and her having some confusion I feel he should be more accommodating. I've even pointed out if he takes the time to listen that English and German share similar roots that he will get the gist of the conversation. He, however, doesn't want to and insists that we should only speak English around him.

It came to a head last night she came into the kitchen asking a question in German, and he started yelling "English, speak English I know you speak it perfectly fine." I told him he was being an AH and to leave her alone. He hasn't spoken to me all morning so I'm starting to wonder if I was being the AH here for taking my Oma's "side" and conversing in German with her? ######

Response:
 NTA however your SO is a raging asshole.

 Yeah, there's a very good argument to be made that you shouldn't carry on conversations in front of somebody in a language that they don't speak.

All that goes out the window when it comes to a *98 YEAR OLD HAVING MEMORY ISSUES*.   Yelling at her is *so* far beyond the pale that I can't even wrap my brain around it.  For me....this would be a dealbreaker. ######


Prompt:
Will provide more context if needed, it's a lot to fit in to 3000 characters. Using my throwaway since this is quite personal.

My mother died around 2.5 years ago. I now live with my father, and two of my three brothers. My youngest brother is very high functioning autistic (Please excuse my language here, I know the term high functioning isn't the best but I'm not sure what the appropriate term is, please feel free to correct me and I'll change it in an edit). He's 13 now, very keep-to-himself, just likes to play on the computer, go to the shops, and go for walks. He does have some behavioural issues, such as having huge meltdowns whilst watching TV because he doesn't like what happens on it. None of us are very close with my dad since he was the breadwinner, and he wasn't a huge part of our lives until our mum passed. Obviously now we see him all the time.

After my mum passed, my dad told me that in the will, I will get my youngest brother's share of the inheritance and be financially responsible for him. In my understanding, this means he goes into my care. I was never asked if I was okay with this, I was just told about it. I believe this was decided because since he was born I was actively helping out, and I started babysitting semi-regularly when I was about 10. Whenever my mum would worry herself about who would look after him in the future, I'd chip in with "It's okay, I'll do it!", because 10 year old's don't really think about consequences. I continued saying I'd take him on until I was around 16 because secondary school brought on some strong depressive episodes and I genuinely didn't think I'd be around past age 18, so again, a non-adult not thinking about the consequences.

Me and my brothers discuss it regularly because we know even if we all pool money together, we can't afford a care home, but I don't know what options we have really. I guess I just want to know, AITA for not wanting to become a carer? ######

Response: NTA however I don't know what country you're in but if your brother is high functioning, he definitely won't need a care home, at most he might need some form of supported living or someone to pop in a couple times a week... ######


Prompt: This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ######

Response: NTA how is it your mother is more irresponsible (and less dependable) than an eight year old? WTF really? Thanks mom ######


Prompt:
(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)

Yesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that "mom and dad hate me and I don't know why". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.

Fast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?

TLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######

Response: NTA how can they successfully treat it if he doesn't even understand he has it? ######


Prompt:
My (31m) oldest brother (49m) is installing a deck on our parents house. It's obvious even to a kindergartner that the posts are crooked. And the entire deck is crooked. Almost a entire foot.

I told both of our parents about it. Showed them. Neither will say anything to him.

I didnt help yesterday because i was busy and i helped all last weekend while he watched us unload all the lumber. He disagreed with me when i wanted to lay the lumber on a flat surface so it won't bow because it was 15 feet further to carry it. Even though he wasnt carrying it AT all.

After he left I went out to see everything and noticed the center poles are WAY crooked. I measured and found they are 10 INCHES difference between the front and the back. Now when you look at even the basic framing you can tell it is crooked.

I waited for him to show up today and casually brought it up. He says it doesnt matter. I showed him the joist that is only 3" on the beam that he put in (it's hanging over the other beam 16 1/4")and he lost his shit. Telling me it was my fault because i didnt help yesterday. When i checked to see what was going on around noon there were 5 people standing around.

He yelled at me after i told him to lower his voice over 4 times. Telling to just go away. So i did. Fuck it. He called me a "hot shot" because i was measuring things.

So be honest please. AITA? ######

Response: NTA hotshot with your fancy measuring tape and math skills. ######


Prompt:
&#x200B;

I'm 15 and my brother is around his late 20's- and when I was in the shower I suddenly realized that I forgot to ask my mom to buy some pads for me (She wasn't around the house at this time) So I called out to my brother and asked him if he could buy some for me. He told me no and I thought it was because He thought he was gonna pay for them (He gets mad when I ask him to buy some food for me- although I always pay him back)- So I clarified that I was gonna pay for them- He told me no again, more firmly and angry this time. So I got mad and yelled at him to just buy some for me because I couldn't go outside to buy them myself (This was the first time I've ever yelled at my family ever). Then he went silent and a few seconds later I heard the door slam. A few minutes later he came back.

I realized that I shouldn't have gotten angry and I got out of the bathroom to apologize and get the pads- but when I got out he yelled at me and threw the pack of pads at my face- He told me that it was really embarassing to get those for me because he was a guy and the cashier was asking him a bunch of stuff he didn't know the answer to (like what brand, wings or no wings, etc). So I cried and I just grabbed the pads and went back to my room.

&#x200B;

I told my mom and dad what happened and my dad sides with my brother, and my mom told me to just understand because "he was a man, we're different from them and they shouldn't know about stuff like this"- I'm in my room and have had a few hours to think it over and I still feel angry because of what he did but also ashamed for asking him in the first place- I'm really sad and confused- AITA? ######

Response: NTA Hopefully one day he grows up, or just stays out of the dating scene because if he's too immature to buy pads then he's too immature for women. There's nothing to even be embarrassed over. ######


Prompt: I’m not even kidding and I really wish I was joking, like who tf looks at a baby and decide to call him something from twilight? My eldest brother thinks I’m being too hard on him. But, come on guys, Moonlight? I don’t want my nephew to be bullied at school. ######

Response: NTA honestly it got a laugh out of me. Poor kid. What is the mother's opinion on that? ######


Prompt:
I am a graduate student in Illinois.  I sometimes hang out with a few international students from India and Pakistan. I was invited to go to a local Indian restaurant to eat with 5 friends.   When we arrived at the restaurant we ordered food.  It seemed like most of the table ordered food to share instead of just for themselves.  I just ordered for myself as that is what I normally do when I go out to eat.  During the course of the meal, several of the people offered to share some of their food with me.  At the time, I thought it was so I could try new food. I initially declined saying "I would like to eat just my food".  As the evening continued the friends continued to ask me to try their food.  After the fourth time asking, I agreed.  As we left one of the friends said she would pay for the table and we would pay her back.

A few days later, I was asked to pay $35 for my portion of the bill. The total bill for the table was $75.  My meal was $15.  What happened was they expected me to pay half of everything I tried.  Which I thought was unfair due to them offering it to me several times.   I asked my friend about this and was told that is what they do. I paid what I was told I owed but came across as very annoyed about it during the discussion about it.    I told them that since I was offered the food I should not be expected to pay it.  What do you guys think? Is it simply a cultural or communication issue? ######

Response: NTA honestly I think you got scammed buddy lol. Next time I guess you have to clarify how the bill will be split before you start eating, thats tacky but they got tacky first. ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for not giving my ex-wife permission to take the kids to Mexico?

My ex wife told me yesterday that she booked a trip to Mexico with her and our kids for this Sunday July 12th for a week. She expects me to sign off letting the kids go but I don’t think it’s a good idea for the safety of my kids and current state of COVID-19. AITA? Should I let them go?

Note: posting this for a friend at his permission who does not have a Reddit account. ######

Response:
 NTA holy moly Batman. People are getting on each other's cases about backyard barbecues and she wants to take them to Mexico?? Wow.

And as an aside, if you're co-parenting, shouldn't she ask *before* she books a trip? ######