Prompt:
I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody.

Fast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday.

Job would be simple and anybody could do it from home.

That weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down.

The next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday.

Monday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days.

I called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me.

Am I the asshole for making this choice? ######

Response: NTA. If she wanted work, she could have easily rescheduled appointments. Medical appointments, I could empathize as there is often a long wait for those. But hair appointments? Nope. ######


Prompt: My wife has wanted a vegetable garden in our backyard. Now that it's starting to warm up I thought I would try to tackle something this weekend. I did some research online, looked up some designs, and tried to show my wife to get her input. She would only give me short answers and told me just to make something nice and show her when I had a plan. I mapped out our backyard and did some measurements, started planting some flags so she had a frame of reference, and called her out to the backyard to talk to her. The entire time I was trying to show her the design and get her opinions she was either on her phone, playing with our dog, playing with our kids, or just being randomly inattentive ("oh I like the flowers the neighbors planted"). I got fed up and asked her if she wanted a garden or not. She said yes, what I have is fine (she didnt look) and went inside. This morning I went to the store and bought about $200 in tools and supplies (not even building materials to start yet) and when I get home she asks me why I spent so much. I told her I needed the stuff we had and asked her how much she thought we would spend. She told me no more than $500 and I told her that's extremely unrealistic (it's a 15x15 foot garden with fencing surrounding it, gravel paths, and above ground planter boxes). I told her we could have figured this out before I spent $200 if she hadn't blown me off. She told me she didn't and I told her I'm just going to cancel the project and not do it. Am I an asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. If she wanted a garden badly enough she should have done it herself, and if she expected you to do it then she should have had a very clear conversation with you beforehand on her expectations for said garden. You were just trying to be helpful and give her what she wanted and she was ignoring you. ######


Prompt:
I just turned 23 last week. My friend said that she would treat me to a meal, so we met up in a mall during the weekends. For context, we make around the same money. She is a rather conservative with money while I am all for spending as long as it's worth.

Originally I wanted to eat Korean BBQ buffet, but my friend said that it was expensive and not worth the price(About $35 per person), so we went to another restaurant of her choice.

Besides the main dish($17), I ordered another soup($6) and strawberry milkshake($6). My friend, after seeing my order, asked me to cancel it off because they are side dishes and desserts not worth the money. She also suggested that I should order chicken salad($12) like her too, as they are healthy and lesser expensive.

It was then that I felt that she is just killing the mood, it isn't even that expensive. I offered to pay for us instead. She started to argue that it was supposed to be her treat but I shut it down and confirmed my order, then tapped into the payment mode scanned my card before she could react, paying for both of us. I told her that it's alright, she could order more, I'll pay and we'd both enjoy our meals together. She did not order anything else.

After the meal she complained that now she had to buy me something for my birthday because I did not let her pay for the meal. I shrugged it off and changed the topic. I sure do hope she doesn't mention it again, but my mother after hearing what I did told me that what I did was really rude and I should apologise to her. Maybe I will, this isn't worth fighting over, but AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she only wanted to spend $12 on you for your birthday, that is her business, but she should have either (a) bought you a gift that was $12 (sounds like she couldn't be bothered), (b) taken you somewhere that would never come to more than $12, rather than somewhere you had to order the cheapest thing and no drinks/sides, or (c) at least made it clear that she could only afford to buy your main course/contribute $12 to your meal, without policing what else you were allowed to get. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory apologies for being a mobile user and the rest of the blah blah blah.

My wife is pregnant with our first child, and I’m very happy. The other day, we’re having a conversation about the family around us and making plans, it was nice. Then it was mentioned about my father, who would obviously be ‘Grandad’ to the bump, and his wife.

A little background; my fathers wife and I do not get along, she’s a bully, and petty, and used to make me miserable to live at home, so much so that I joined the army the day after my birthday as a young teen to get away.

Now, because of this, I said that I didn’t want my children to call her ‘Nan’ but refer to her as her first name, as I do.

My wife says that I shouldn’t be this way, and that I’m an asshole for not wanting to allow our bump to feel like they have a full, supportive family network around them. She also expressed the concern that other kids may poke fun at bump when bump mentions visiting ‘Grandad and Firstname’ rather than ‘Grandad and Nan’

But for me, I feel that a title of privilege like that should be earned, and that she hasn’t show that she should be granted that title.

Am I an asshole? ######

Response: NTA. If she never liked you and didn’t treat you like a mother, you don’t owe her access to your child and for her to be a nan. My grandpa remarried after my grandma died and she was [first name], not nan. Not out of malicious intent but we didn’t have that kind of relationship. My peers never had trouble understanding that my grandpa’s second wife wasn’t my grandma. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I’m writing this on behalf of myself and my housemates (7 of us total). Recently, it was one of my housemate’s birthday and invited a handful of people over including this girl. He let her sleepover at our house along with some others because they were all drunk and would’ve had to drive home.
In the morning, everyone leaves except the one girl. She continues to stay in our house all day- while she knows none of us except the former birthday boy who was passed out all the next day. She wakes up and starts drinking one of my housemates bottles of whiskey without permission and then goes to the grocery store. She buys a handful of random shit like a carton of eggs, cream cheese, coffee creamer, a wrap, a container of sauce. Note that she asked us if we wanted anything before leaving.
She wanders around the house all day and leaves and comes back again and ifs visibly fucked up. She even said to me that she’s been “going all day.” Then finally she gets the hint that it’s weird she’s there bc we don’t know her. She leaves and then has to come back for her phone– again bc she was drunk all day.
We don’t hear from
her until a few days later, she tells the birthday boy that she wants us to venmo her for that shit back. Like dude– we don’t know you, you were fucked up at our house, and left shit. We ate most the groceries so what should be done?
Am i the asshole for not eating the shit / then not venmoing her? ######

Response: NTA. If she left the stuff in your fridge and she’s some rando girl it’s definitely not your problem. Super weird that she was their all day and drinking and I’m assuming driving?? ######


Prompt:
My grandmother is a very stubborn person.She never thinks she is wrong and get emotional when I call her out on her behavior.

She loves cooking,its tasty food but there is only so much I can eat, I get full very quickly compared to others in my family. She frequently makes different types of food for us to eat and I politely refuse because I can't eat anymore, but she doesn't take no for an answer and keep telling me to eat it. She wont stop telling me to eat the food. I got mad at yelled at her I told her I am the one who decide what I want to eat and she can't force it down my throat. This made her sad and complained to my mom about my attitude.
I think I am in the wrong but her stubbornness is driving me crazy
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If she is trying to force you to eat, when you say no, she is a major ah.

Put her in time out since she wants to be so toxic. Grandma's don't get special treatment.  If anything they should listen to you more than your parents,  not less. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering.

What she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of "mini gang" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just "get over it". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support.

I was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day.

I had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she got to 23 and doesn't understand that her bullying was wrong, she might still be a bully. Red flag. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed/give water/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine.

When I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush?

Problem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush.

I didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping.

That was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising/not telling her? ######

Response: NTA. If she didn’t decide to rearrange your cupboards then surely she wouldn’t have found the brush? I also don’t understand the logic behind her choosing to use that brush... surely it looked used, as you’ve used it to clean the litter box. So why did a different (clearly used) brush seem better than the one already in the sink? ######


Prompt:
I (48M) recently won the lottery.  Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot.  However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account.  I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.

My Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago.  We have been separated since February because of the lock-down.  She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back.  About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc.  I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.

Through a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money.  I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me.  She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.

Our mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she didn't give money for the ticket, there is no obligation for anything. That's just pests coming out of the woodwork. ######


Prompt: My roommate regularly borrows my car and leaves my car keys in her purse.  I had an errand to run and my keys were not on the hook in the kitchen they belong on.  I went to look in her purse figuring my keys were in there (they were) and she got mad I looked in her purse.  I told her if she didn't want me looking in her purse don't leave my car keys in there and if that was too hard she couldn't borrow my car anymore.  So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she can’t be decent enough to return your keys to you or the hook after you’re decent enough to let her borrow your car, you have every right to go looking for your keys when you need them. ######


Prompt:
Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum.

I, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation.

This is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained.

I said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born.

AITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######

Response: NTA. If she can talk about her potential future children, you can talk about your potential future nieces and nephews. ######


Prompt:
I grew up with "Uncle" and "Aunt" siblings. My brother Rob is 42, my sister Patricia is 39. I am \[Winona\] 20F.
My brother has a 19-year-old daughter \[Gina\] whom I call my sister. We are close. We currently live together and attend the same Uni. We go on a lot of trips together and talk on the phone for hours. She's seriously my best friend.
I have a niece \[Lilly\] and a nephew \[Parker\] who are 8 and 10.
Patricia doesn't take the time to call or get to know me. When we are in the same location, she is really dismissive of my interests. She commonly tells me that I sound like a child when I talk *or* that I need to grow up because it was much harder for her when she was a kid.
We all went on a cruise together two years back. I was 19, Gina was 18, and we spent the whole time doing whatever we wanted and staying up until 3 am. Which was super fun!
At the end of the trip, Gina and I posted all the pictures we took. Most of them were with our parents or people we met on the ship, or just stupid faces together. We also had a lot of landscapes and day trips we did.
I took zero pictures of Patricia and her family. They acted like we weren't there most of the time unless she wanted us to babysit her kids \[which we said no to\].
She got upset when she figured out that we had taken pictures of everyone else and not her family or her kids. She is not big on doing photography herself and claimed \[since we went on some daytrips together\] that I would include her kids. I told her that I didn't feel like she viewed me as a sister so why would I want her in my family pictures.
She cried. ######

Response: NTA. If pictures were that important to her, she should have brought a camera. And it seemed that she only asks about you if she needs something. ######


Prompt:
I’m (26F) and almost 7 months pregnant (2 days away), I thankfully still have my job. Sadly my fiancé (32M) was laid off, due to his job not being essential.

 I have even taken extra days to be able to support us and still have money when baby comes. Today is day 19 of me working without a day off (my boss always checks in with me to make sure I’m okay and still healthy to work, they are the best).

 Fiancé hasn’t been able to get a temporary job, therefore I believe at the very least his job, for the time being, is to keep our place in order and clean. He says it’s both our job. If we weren’t in our current situation he would definitely be right, but I’m not only working all week (and seeing how the “stay at home” order keeps getting extended I might not have a “break” until baby comes)but I’m also almost in my third trimester of pregnancy.

 I’ve pretty much have gone through every possible pregnancy symptom, and there is not one day of complete peace, once one symptom finally goes away another pops up to replace it. I believe he is being selfish, that he truly doesn’t understand what I’m going through.

 Why is so difficult to keep our place clean, even when it comes to cooking, I HAVE to help him. I get off work and I still can’t relax. Meanwhile when I’m at work I’m sure he is online playing video games with his friends. It’s so infuriating.

 It’s come to me constantly snapping at him because he is in his care free world. According to him I’m an asshole, just because I’m working everyday and pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t help him clean. ######

Response: NTA. If one person works, the other should keep the house running. ######


Prompt:
I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I live by myself, and my little sister was over for the weekend, and this has been eating at me, so I need judgment.

My sister (12) was ranting about how she feels her parents (she's my stepsister) always favor our little sibling, and she had _quite_ the list of examples.

Personally, the way her parents, my parent and step parent, made it clear how I was the least favorite child has damaged me quite badly, as in, I needed therapy and all the shit. I wanted to be there for my little sister, so I told her that, while it broke my heart that I cannot fix it for her and she is stuck in the same situation I was stuck in, I know how she feels, and that I felt the exact same way when I was younger, and that I am also seeing that her little sibling is being favored over her, so she is not just imagining things. I told her that I am always there for her, she can call me whenever she needs to vent, and if she really can't take it anymore, she can always schedule to come over to my place to spend a bit of time away from her parents to just let it all out.

I am now wondering if I shouldn't have just tried to affirm her of the fact that her parents love her a lot. As in, I _tried_ talking to them when I was going through it, but they are seriously not aware of the fact that they are treating different children differently, no matter how many examples you have. I mean, I _am_ convinced that they love her, but I just think that they don't realize that they are doing this to their daughter.

I am kinda scared that by telling her that they put me through the same thing, I may have planted a seed that might drive a wedge between them, while it might have been better for her and her parents to just try to smooth it over. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If nothing else she left the conversation knowing she has an older sibling who loves her and will support her ######


Prompt:
I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).

Last week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that.

Beginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder. I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.

This morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because "we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now". I was furious. I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful bitch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now. I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident.

I came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If money is so tight they have to steal from their kid they should NOT be going to a fucking ski resort. People like this make me sick.
r/narcissisticparents ######


Prompt: To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######

Response: NTA. If its litterally hurting your ears than she should try to quieter ######


Prompt:
Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.

About half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.

When he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.

I’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.

FWIW, he really is buying weed.  AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ######

Response: NTA. If it’s not necessary that you each know where the other is, then I suggest you get up and leave without telling him where you’re going at all and see how he responds when you return a few hours later. ######


Prompt:
I (33f) am very big on jewelry. I have made myself quite a large collection over the years. I have 4 siblings, 2 sisters 2 brothers. I've recently decided to sell a few pieces that I found myself wearing less and less. They're still beautiful and in perfect condition. From the pieces that I chose to sell I gave a few to my sisters.

Only one of my brothers are married. I guess my SIL found out that I was giving jewelry to my sisters and asked my brother why I didn't give her one. I've never gotten along with my SIL. She knows why, but suddenly seems to forget that when I have a necklace she likes.

I tell my brother I don't want to give her anything. She isn't my sister, and I haven't given my other brother anything also. Brother gets mad that I'm singling out SIL and making her feel left out.

He's still nagging me. I still have the necklace SIL wants, but every phone call I get from my brother makes me want to give it to her less. ######

Response: NTA. If it's you openly don't get along with her then she shouldn't be expecting a gift from you. ######


Prompt:
I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year.

I don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.

I bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me.

As for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as "house stuff" but luggage has never been one of them.

AITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######

Response: NTA. If it were only on occasion (once or twice a year) that would be one thing (but its 4 or 5 times a year its reasonable to suggest they get their own luggage. Or perhaps they can buy the set off of you? ######


Prompt:
Okay, first a little background ... I (21F) live with my boyfriend (25M) in a one bedroom apartment. We technically have a room that could be a second bedroom, but it's very small and currently being used as an office space. We both attend university in DC (undergrad and law school respectively) and have continued to live together while attending classes remotely.

My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (23F) also happens to be attending school in DC, but because she was living in on-campus accomodations, she was forced to return home to. She and my boyfriend are still friends, and she's evidently told him how difficult she's found attending classes online with her family's shaky internet and the time difference. She's planning on driving back to DC in the next week to collect her belongings (which is understandably a really long drive). He told me that he was planning on inviting her to stay with us through the summer term. I pretty much told him I wasn't cool with that, and he got mad, telling me I was selfish. So ..... AITA?

EDIT: We split both rent and utilities 50/50!  ######

Response: NTA. If it was me in this situation, I wouldn't allow any exes, his or mine, to live with us. If he insisted, he'd end up with two ex-girlfriends. ######


Prompt: I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ######

Response: NTA. If it only takes him 2 months to make that much, then he can wait 2 months to buy a house ######


Prompt:
Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller.

I (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying.

I got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea.

Turns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff.

We have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If it hadn't worked out, both of you would be devastated. Instead, you took the logical move to see whether it might be a good idea. As far as I see, you haven't made the decision to change the job without her. If you had it would be reasonable that she could be angry since you have both planned goals and changes in job affect that. ######


Prompt:
This is more of an “Are *We* The Assholes”, because I’m speaking for everyone participating minus the friend in question.

We’re currently in the early stages of planning our trip to Japan for next year (fingers crossed things are safe enough by then). This will be our second group trip to Japan, the first one being last year (which the friend in question chose not to come on, and even openly doubted that we’d be capable of successfully organizing it).

Anyway, now that the planning stage is upon us again, he’s decided that he wants to come this time, and took the liberty of inviting his girlfriend along without consulting any of us first.

This left pretty much all of us with a sour taste; not because we don’t like his girlfriend’s company, but because, like the last trip obviously was, this trip was also conceptualized as a guys trip. So today I volunteered to be the one to speak up about it to him, and he’s not taking it so smoothly.

I tried not to be blatantly confrontational; I said that although this was meant to be a guys trip, we still don’t want to tell anyone they can’t come. So we want to try and find a middle ground, and we think that there should be another Airbnb separate from the guys Airbnb so that everyone’s comfortable. And that we can still plan our outings together etc.

He doesn’t seem to understand that what he wants to do conflicts with our collective intention of having a guys trip, and has objected to all our reasoning. I feel like we’re not in the wrong at the end of the day, but I’m trying to keep an open mind to different perspectives in case there’s somehow something that I’m missing here. Thanks for your time ######

Response: NTA. If I was the only woman going on a vacation I would for sure feel more comfortable renting a place with my significant other for just ourselves. ######


Prompt: Okay so I realize this sounds like the plot to a porno with a mom walking in on her son but I couldn't think of a better way to write this. Basically I went upstairs to my son's room to ask what he felt for supper, I knocked on the door a few times and called his name but got no answer. I assumed he was asleep so I opened the door to walk him up and there he was with his pants down and noise cancelling  headphones on. He yelled at me and told me that I should have known not to come into his room but personally I feel I did everything I could, I knocked several times, called his name and only opened the door when he wouldn't answer me. Should I have just left the door called and waited for him to eventually come out? ######

Response:
 NTA. If I was a parent and got no answer from my kid after knocking a few times, I would absolutely enter the room. You might fear the worst. Or maybe I'm just neurotic.

Either way, he'll get over it. He'll laugh about it with his mates in a couple of years. ######


Prompt:
Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
So, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.
Right now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.
So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If his mother would be ashamed of his actions that speaks to his assholeness, not yours. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway and fake names

A couple of my friends hung out recently (where we live in a place with less than a hundred cases and masks are still required)

One of my friends, Dylan came with his new girlfriend Ann, who happens to be black, to introduce us to her which we were all fine with and knew beforehand.

I’m more of an introverted person and Ann is the opposite. When met for lunch, she was loud and boisterous. She spoke over people, yelled at the staff, *reached over to my plate*,and at one point she even tried to dance on the table.

I found it all very inappropriate and didn’t talk much for the rest of our lunch. Dylan kept on excusing her behavior throughout and my other friends didn’t seem to mind.

When Dylan asked us what I thought about her I told the truth half jokingly and said she was a bit noisy and rude and I personally wouldn’t want to hang out with her. I did clarify that she might be a nice girl but our personalities would clash.

Dylan got really upset with this, and accused me of being racist and calling his girlfriend ghetto. A couple of my friends supported this, and I tried to explain that I didn’t like her because of her personality not her race but they seem to believe that the two are somehow intertwined. He’s acting like I dislike her BECAUSE she’s black and like I can’t dislike a black person because I’m white.

I was going to let it slide and apologize until Dylan said something along the lines of, “she can’t help it, that’s how they are” which I thought was racist to stereotype and told him so.

I left soon after and I’ve been getting nonstop calls from my friend group, telling me that I’m the scum of the earth and I should apologize with one of them even going on twitter to post about exposing the racists in your friend group.

I believe I did not do anything racist but I need an outside perspective. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If his girlfriend were white but with the same personality, you would react the same. Also, I agree with you on Dylan being racist in stereotyping black women. ######


Prompt:
Am I about to rant over a muffin? Yes! I live in a pretty big household. I have 6 other siblings. So when my sisters made muffins last night, I’d already eaten so I decided I wanted one for the morning. But I knew my siblings would’ve eaten them all by the time I woke up and didn’t feel like risking it. So I hid one with my brothers baby food. Sure enough waking up this morning I was correct, the muffins were all gone but the one I hid was still there. I ate it, and that was that. Like an hour later my step dad came in and asked “do you know who hid a muffin?” And I said it was me, I didn’t see it as that big of a deal. Well, he pulls up a video on his phone of him LICKING THE FUCKING MUFFIN and putting it back, I was disgusted. I then heard him and my mom talking about how that’s what I get for hiding food, which is actually very hypocritical because they have entire cabinet of their own hidden food that we aren’t allowed to touch. It’s not like I took someone’s muffin by hiding it, all my siblings were able to have 2, I just wanted one. Now I’m pissed at my step dad and he doesn’t understand why.

TDLR; I hid a muffin, my stepdad licked it and put it back, and showed me a video of him licking it after I ate it. Now I’m pissed

Side note: I realize the post is stupid, I know it’s  stupid situation. But personally, I don’t enjoy eating food that has been touched, licked, or spit on by others. So why not rant about it 😂 ######

Response: NTA. If he's punishing kids for "hiding food" sounds like he needs to do a better job providing enough for everyone. ######


Prompt:
I (26f) and my fiancé (27m) moved out of my father's house. Now to get context.

My father was not really a father to me growing up. He would mentally abuse me and sometimes verbally. We even got into fist fights.

My fiancé moved and my father tried playing "I'm a good guy". A week later, when the lockdown starte, he started showing his true colours. When my fiancé nor my dad could work, I begged for food parcels and so did my fiancé. My father refused to beg.

Then my fiancé found another job and began our search for a different place to stay. In the meantime, my father was also getting money in from asking friends and family but that money never went into the house. No food bought etc. My fiancé spent most of his money making sure we atleast have enough to eat till the next food parcel. My father was enjoying his chips and sweets.

We found a place and moved out immediately. I had also went and changed the address for the food parcels. My stepmom asked me if the food parcel is going to go to them and I said that dad needs to apply for the food parcel. They aren't happy with it.

AITA for changing the address to the food parcels? ######

Response: NTA. If he's not ready to do anything to get food, why should you be responsible for it. Especially if he's such a dick towards you (and has been for a long time). ######


Prompt:
Well... My ex and I divorced and I moved away with my two oldest kids and our youngest. We split up because he is a workaholic and doesn’t want to engage in any kind of family activity.

I had a cat when we met and he lied about being allergic, so I had to give up the cat when we moved in together.

Now that we moved away, I got a kitten and we all love it so much, but, my ex refuses to visit his daughter here bc of the cat. He refuses to take any allergy meds, just because?? We can come visit him, but he only has time late in the evening once in a while because of his work. Before we got the cat, he came once a month aprox.

AITA for getting the cat? Just be honest. I knew he was allergic, but I thought he would be open to take allergy meds. Now he wants me to get rid of the cat or he won’t see his daugther anymore. ######

Response: NTA. If he's crappy enough of a dad to refuse to visit your daughter (or even just pick her up from the house) because you have a cat, then she's probably better off without him. He no longer lives with you and doesn't get a say in what pets you have. Enjoy your sweet little kitten. ######


Prompt:
My (31m) oldest brother (49m) is installing a deck on our parents house. It's obvious even to a kindergartner that the posts are crooked. And the entire deck is crooked. Almost a entire foot.

I told both of our parents about it. Showed them. Neither will say anything to him.

I didnt help yesterday because i was busy and i helped all last weekend while he watched us unload all the lumber. He disagreed with me when i wanted to lay the lumber on a flat surface so it won't bow because it was 15 feet further to carry it. Even though he wasnt carrying it AT all.

After he left I went out to see everything and noticed the center poles are WAY crooked. I measured and found they are 10 INCHES difference between the front and the back. Now when you look at even the basic framing you can tell it is crooked.

I waited for him to show up today and casually brought it up. He says it doesnt matter. I showed him the joist that is only 3" on the beam that he put in (it's hanging over the other beam 16 1/4")and he lost his shit. Telling me it was my fault because i didnt help yesterday. When i checked to see what was going on around noon there were 5 people standing around.

He yelled at me after i told him to lower his voice over 4 times. Telling to just go away. So i did. Fuck it. He called me a "hot shot" because i was measuring things.

So be honest please. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If he were hanging a picture crooked? Fine, doesn't hurt anyone. But when you're literally building something on to the house? Yeah, that should probably be done the right way. ######


Prompt: I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If he wants to use your room he has to treat it with respect.
INFO: why does he feel the need to use your room? ######


Prompt:
This happened last year, before this craziness, but my ex is still angry about it.

My son is in high school. His school has a heavily discounted drivers ed program that they run twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. My son's father and I agreed that he would take that program because it was designed around school hours and much less expensive. My son qualified to take the program in the spring, and could get his license at the beginning of June. If he didn't take it in the spring, he couldn't get his license until January.

My son lives with me most of the time and goes to his dad's every other weekend. While he was at his dad's, he was picking on his half sister and his dad decided to punish him by telling him he couldn't take drivers ed until the fall. He did not consult me on this.

I was very upset when he told me this and asked him to change the punishment. He refused because he felt he would undermine his own authority. I pointed out that this punishment made my life harder, because that was 6 more months that I would have to drive him to school, extracurriculars, friends' houses etc. He still refused to change the punishment, so I told him that I was going to pay for drivers ed on my own. I was very frustrated that he wouldn't work with me, especially because I have made sure that my punishments in the past haven't affected his relationships with his father. For example, I don't take away his cell phone because he texts with his dad during the week.

When my son came back to my house, I told him that he could still take driver's ed but he would still not be able to have friends over for a week as his new punishment. He has since been in contact with his father much less and his father blames me for undermining him and letting him take drivers ed anyway. Am I the asshole for undermining my ex? ######

Response: NTA. If he wants to punish your kid in a way that impacts you, he needs to consult you first. Hell, this would punish you more than your kid! ######


Prompt:
My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  / worked part time at a restaurant in the evening / finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact.

Since all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight / gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######

Response: NTA. If he wants a night off then you guys can schedule it so that way another night you get a night off. And school is 100% work and not relaxing time! ######


Prompt:
Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.

I said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.

My brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. If he intends to pay it back by x date then why would he mind if it was in writing? ######


Prompt:
We have been together for nearly four years. I'm very adamantly childfree, which he knew prior to us dating, and BC doesn't seem to like me, as I've gotten pregnant on it twice already. I'm not in the US and the only doctor I found who will tie my tubes, being that I'm 23 and don't have any children, wants 17,500 of my local currency, which I can in no way afford. However, men can easily get free vasectomies here.

I've asked him (30m) to get a vasectomy since after my last abortion. He always says no, that I can get surgery on myself if I want, and if I ask why he just laughs and says "my body my choice, you can't force me". I've tried explaining that I would never force him to do anything, but that it would be a quick, nearly painless procedure he could get for free, whereas I'd have to pay a lot of cash we don't have and be laid on my ass for a week, and the most I've gotten is that he will "think about it" because he doesn't want anyone touching him "down there".

I'm currently not on BC because it didn't even work and did make me snappy and gain weight, so we haven't done much lately in the bedroom department. He also doesn't like wearing condoms, he will put one on only if one is on hand but won't get up to get one, and no matter how often I explain, he thinks pulling out is sufficient protection. I feel like an AH for continuing to bring it up, but it would really help my peace of mind so much and I can't help feeling that his refusal means he doesn't care about me as much as he says he does. I mean I'd gladly get a tubal if either of us had the means to pay for it, even if it meant I couldn't get up for a week...But he's also right, it is his body and I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If he doesn’t want a surgical procedure done, that’s his choice. If you don’t want to get on BC, that’s your choice. If both of you are on the same page about not wanting kids then you need to find a compromise. Him not wanting to use condoms just because he doesn’t like them when every other method seems to not work, is selfish.

Edit to clarify: He’s the AH for not compromising with atleast a condom, but he is not one for not wanting a vasectomy. ######


Prompt:
I’m on mobile so sorry
A little background is that and my twin sister(19) currently live in an apartment together and we are half Russian and our mom insisted we learn the language. We are fluent but our little brother(16) isn’t. Our apartment is kind of a Russian zone since we just tend to be more comfortable speaking it with each other.
My parents house partially lit on fire about a week ago and they wanted our brother to stay with us for a bit and we agreed. Tonight while making dinner me and Milan were speaking in Russian and going over the ingredients or asking questions about what to do to each other. Out of nowhere our brother started yelling at how we never included him in anything and rubbed it in his face that we spoke Russian and how we never speak English unless we are talking with him.
I responded by telling him that he chose to quit learning and can ask our mother to teach him again at any point but chose not to. My brother called me an asshole and drove to our aunts house we’re are parents are staying and our dad texted us telling us we shouldn’t be dicks about it and to stop being petty and apologise but personally I feel like what I said was true and okay? So AITA for speaking Russian in front of my brother? ######

Response: NTA. If he doesn't want to learn Russian, then he doesn't have to but he is in your apartment, you can speak whatever language you want when you are talking to each other ######


Prompt:
I’ve been dating a guy for about 9 months. I told him today that I purchased (I was about to, it was on back order) a non permanent dance pole or a “stripper pole” to put in my bedroom for fun. It’s elegant, sexy, it’s good exercise and it’s fun. I thought not only would be fun for me as I like dancing, just as a hobby, but also for him because it’s intimate and sexy and he’s told me before he’d like to see me dance for him.

He told me he doesn’t believe that’s why I bought it, that I’m doing it for other men, that he feels like I’m just doing it for attention, that “only certain kinds of women would buy a pole to have in their home” and that he sees me differently now. I feel horrible, I feel stupid. I’ve never done anything to make him feel like I’m seeing other people, that I’d be unfaithful. I just wanted to have fun and be sexy for him, but now I feel like a slut and I’ve ruined everything.

Did I do something wrong? ######

Response: NTA. If he doesn't trust you now, he never will and you'll be miserable. Get away from him. ######


Prompt:
Edit: by toilet I mean toilet bowl rim mainly

My(23) boyfriend (30) of  5 months is pretty great and has visited my apartment pretty frequently as of late. He generally picks up after himself ok enough, there is one hug pet peeve that he is aggrrivating.  When he uses my toilet ,he regularly leaves pee under the lid on the rim that builds up and causes a smell. It took me a while to realize this is what was happening as he was using my guest bathroom that I'm never in.

 He feels that since he's the guest, and he has a medical condition that effects his aim, it's not his responsibility to keep my bathroom clean.

As a girl, I rarely dirty this part of the toilet and it feels gross to have to wipe down the stains so often. I've noticed this with my brother(12) and a male friend that has visited, so idk if it's just a guy thing but I find it pretty gross and disturbing.

How much do you ask frequent guests to clean after themselves? Am I overreacting or is he just being a dick? ######

Response: NTA. If he can’t stand and aim then sit the fuck down ######


Prompt:
My brother has been dating "Jenny" since they were 16. They're now 19. They both go to community college part-time. Her dad is a rich doctor and our parents work at a factory. Everyone is cool with each other. My brother was joking that he and Jenny have started having 100% unprotected sex. No condom, no pill. I told him he was a dumbass if he gets her pregnant and he said that's what "we are trying to do, actually." I asked him what he was talking about and he said they want to have a baby and not wait until they're old like her and our parents (they were in their 30's). They know people like our and her parents will not be happy but will support them with a baby. He said "when" it happens they're going to pretend it wasn't planned.

I believe they're trying to have a baby because their lives are so good and a baby will solidify it. I am not saying I agree, but that is their logic and young love is powerful.

I want to tell my parents, especially our dad. What can they do? I don't know, but something is better than nothing. There are no teen parents in our families. ######

Response:
 NTA. If both of them are dependent on their parents for food and shelter, then their parents have a right to know about this, as the decision to have a child affects them too.

(Original): Need more info.

First, what's their living situation? Living with parents, separate but on their own, together, what?

Second, how are they doing financially? You said they go to community college "part time", so I assume that means they both have jobs - what sort?

The only reasons I can fathom for you "telling" on them being OK would be if they live with and/or are financially dependent on one (or both) families. If that isn't the case, it's no business of yours whether they want to start a family or not. It might be ill-advised, but it's still their decision. ######


Prompt:
Today during a Zoom meeting, my colleagues and I were discussing the Pandemic and the topic of Self-Check Outs at Grocery Stores was discussed. I then recalled an incident I had a couple of months ago right before Christmas. Although they were laughing at my story, some of them were saying I was an asshole and disrespecting essential workers. A colleague’s exact words: “Girl, Why you being a bitch?”

I was throwing a party at my home and needed more decorations and etc. So I had a late night visit to the nearby 24/7 Walmart. I went a little crazy and bought literally a cart full of useless crap. As I was waiting in line it became apparent that it was going to take a while as the couple in front of me were using WIC checks and the Cashier was giving attitude and denying what items they could use it for. I was okay with waiting, so I didn’t care. The 2nd cashier closed her register and loudly announced she was going on break. Before long another worker approached me, and this was basically the conversion.

Worker: Please come this way, our self-check out stations are open.

(I hate Self-Check Out and have always refuse to do them)

Me: I’m good. I’ll wait for the cashier. Thanks though.

Worker: But we’re open over here. You can check out yourself.

Me: I don’t mind waiting.

Cashier: (Yelling over the couple) You don’t have to wait. You can check yourself out over there.

Me: I don’t mind waiting. I have a lot of stuff. I rather empty my cart on the belt.

Cashier: Sir, Please move your cart to the self-check out.

(At this point I’m annoyed. The worker was now physical gesturing for me to move and the cashier was no longer checking out the couple.)

Me: I’m sorry. Do I work here? Are you guys offering me a job? (While tipping head to the side)

Basically, security was called and a manger got involved which caused a large line to form and people behind me complaining very loudly.

So Was I? ######

Response:
 NTA. If both a cashier and self checkout are options at the store, and you want cashier service, it’s your choice. Some self service setups are just terrible.

I’m usually polite, but If they badgered me like that, I’d also have a sarcastic retort. ######


Prompt:
My brother and I are extremely close, he got engaged a few months back and we are all happy for him and his fiance. I am also close with his fiance, she is a sweet girl but suffers from chronic migraines at least 4 times a month (these are so bad that she literally just sleeps all day when these hit) and is very depressed.

A couple days back she learned I was hiring and reached out to me to ask if I would consider hiring her as I own a small business. I told her I would think about it but ultimately decided no as her chronic migraines would mean she would not be able to come into work at least 4 times a month meaning I would have to re-distribute her responsibilities to my other employees which is not fair to them.

I told her I would not be hiring her, and she asked me why so I was honest with her and told her that I would not be able to accommodate her for the days she is off as my current employees only get 1 sick day per month. This caused her to throw a fit and explain that her disability is none of my business and that it would not be fair to discriminate against her because of this, she also told my brother this and things have been pretty tense between us although I expect this to blow over.

Am I the asshole for not agreeing to hire her? Laws in my country are very strict to the point where if I hire her I would not be able to let her go because of her disability unless I pay her out. I would essentially be stuck with a part time employee earning full time salary which I can not afford nor do I think is fair to me or my employees. Am I wrong?

EDIT; I feel I should include that I am not just assuming that she will not be showing up to work for at least 4 days. She used to work at a different place that ended up bankrupting because of COVID-19 and throughout her career there she would never go in to work when she had her chronic migraine episodes (because she physically/mentally couldn't). ######

Response:
 NTA. If asked again, I would say something along the lines of it would be a conflict of interest for you to hire her because of your personal relationship.

I see another comment that you are paying for SIL's medication for migraines. Is it this same SIL? ######


Prompt:
I (late 30s M) was visiting an old friend from High School and his wife. I should mention that at the time I had just finished a doctorate in Math -- this is relevant to the story. There were a number of people hanging out. Most of them I knew but my friend's wife's friend Janice ( late 40's F) and her daughter Ellie (maybe 19 F) who i didn't know , were also there. My friend's wife introduced us: "Throwaway, this is my friend Janice and her daughter Ellie. Janice and Ellie this is our friend Throwaway. Throwaway just became a Doctor." Ellie ( the daughter) said "Are you single? I think that I would make an excellent trophy wife." I gave a big dramatic sigh and said "Sadly I'm not the kind of Doctor that gets to marry pretty young things. I'm the kind that teaches calculus to nerds. " Everyone laughed, we chatted a bit and I wandered off to play pool with the guys.

Now the mom and my friends wife seemed fine with what I said but i got a bunch of flak later from a couple of people (who were not even part of the original conversation) who said that it was "gross" that i was " flirting with someone half my age." I thought that this was a ridiculous way to characterize the whole interaction. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If anything the kid was being gross. You got out of the situation without humiliating her. ######


Prompt:
Well... My ex and I divorced and I moved away with my two oldest kids and our youngest. We split up because he is a workaholic and doesn’t want to engage in any kind of family activity.

I had a cat when we met and he lied about being allergic, so I had to give up the cat when we moved in together.

Now that we moved away, I got a kitten and we all love it so much, but, my ex refuses to visit his daughter here bc of the cat. He refuses to take any allergy meds, just because?? We can come visit him, but he only has time late in the evening once in a while because of his work. Before we got the cat, he came once a month aprox.

AITA for getting the cat? Just be honest. I knew he was allergic, but I thought he would be open to take allergy meds. Now he wants me to get rid of the cat or he won’t see his daugther anymore. ######

Response: NTA. If a cat keeps this man from seeing his daughter, he was looking for an excuse to stop seeing her anyway. ######


Prompt:
My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends.

When it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day.

Of course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her.

Basically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.

I felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next  6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######

Response: NTA. If “bro code” means enabling abusive behavior, then break it. Your friend is a nightmare, and was clearly treating his gf badly. It isn’t on you or anyone he dates to change him, but at least you encouraged and supported her leaving a bad relationship. That’s a good thing. ######


Prompt:
I'm a divorced dad of three kids, (12f, 7f, 4m). My girlfriend and I are both essential workers, and come into contact with a large number of sick people on a daily basis. One of my children had a lung transplant several years ago, and is immunocompromised. As such, we decided that right now it would be safer for them to stay with their mother.

I make significantly more than my ex, so I bought a tablet for each of my kids, and they each have Disney+, Netflix, and Hulu. My 12 year old also has a cell phone, which she mostly used for school. They also use their tablets to FaceTime me every once in a while.

I was talking with my 12 year old yesterday, and she mentioned that she would like to be able to use her tablet. Of course I was confused, and I asked her what she meant by that.

Apparently her mother has been taking her tablet away from her and using it for herself. I checked my daughter's account's Netflix history, and I saw shows that she definitely wouldn't watch (i.e. House of Cards, Blacklist, The Witcher).

I called her, and asked her to give my daughter's tablet back. She said no, and that my daughter lost her tablet as a punishment for not doing her chores on time. I told her that was fine, but she shouldn't be using it.

She then said that I'm just trying to show off my wealth by giving the kids tablets and streaming services, and that my daughter already has a cell phone so she doesn't need a tablet.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Id put a password on it for just you and your daughter (maybe along with parental controls so you know she couldn’t get into trouble). That way ex can’t manipulate the situation and take things from her to be selfish. It’s not hers it’s your daughters and she’s not entitled to it as she doesn’t pay for it or the services. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.

Last week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.

This morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ######

Response: NTA. I’ve read your comments, and you should probably edit them in your post, cause as it is, it looks kinda sketchy. But you clarified in your comments and I think you’re not the asshole. Keep in mind a lot of people in this sub lose their shit over the subject of estranged parents, since most of the time the children left because the parents were assholes (also a lot of people here are young and tend to sympathise with teens more). So the vagueness of your post sets off alarm bells. Keep that in mind. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food.

This upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.

Am I being unfair here? ######

Response: NTA. I’m vegan and was vegan as a teenager, my parents made dinner every night which included vegetables and sides, and I would either eat just those sides or I would cook something additional for myself. The plus side of this, I’m an excellent cook now. You offered to pay for the groceries and cook books which seems very fair and besides, cooking is a skill all teens should learn. Maybe you could try and make something fun out of it like “on Thursday nights we both cook an all vegetarian meal for the entire family together” so that way you can teach her some fun recipes you enjoy and then she doesn’t feel like the only person not being included, plus there’s a special day she gets to design the menu for everyone. ######


Prompt:
She snapped me late last night. My "friend." She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented.

I asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property.

First of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.

Backstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.

She basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no.

But if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?

I'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted.

And I feel like the asshole! ######

Response: NTA. I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” Your friend is about ready to win her prize, don’t let her drag you down with her. ######


Prompt:
Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50/50 on this.

We are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ######

Response: NTA. I’m sure you guys can find a place that is pet friendly. And honestly he’s the A for wanting you to leave your doggo. ######


Prompt:
This has been bothering me for a while now,

But in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife.

And another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.

He is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.

Most people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

So I’m not sure ######

Response:
 NTA. I’m sure that a lot more went into him wanting to divorce his wife than just you and your commentary. Ultimately, it’s their relationship and they are responsible.

I did not know what “cuckold impregnation” was, googled the term, and wish I hadn’t. So kind of an asshole for making that your title.:P

I would imagine that there would be a plethora of legal issues that could arise out of this, let alone be a ridiculous arrangement for the child. But anyways, NTA. ######


Prompt:
My bf and I have been together for about 6 years and we've had issues with his mom and stepdad( his stepdad hasn't done anything particularly harsh he's just there ). I for the first 4 years assumed she hated me. I would be invited to things only to be never picked up by my bf or his mom would do weird stuff like try to set him up with her friend's kids. Bf always told me she didn't hate me and that I was just exaggerating.  I had even tried to ask her about her behavior toward the beginning of the relationship and she told me she'd get my bf to break up with me ( we were still in high school at the time).

Eventually it came out that no she didn't hate me but she thought I was an entitled bitch because I was at family events when I wasn't wanted. It came out that my bf never really asked if I was welcome and just would say he was going to bring me. She assumed that I was controlling him and that was her reasoning to act the way she did. Since then I have made myself scarce and don't show up to her events but I show up to his dad and stepmom's gatherings instead. When bf came clean to his parents I told him to ask his mom or stepdad to contact me if they would like me there. This is the general conflict my bf and I have had for the past year and some change. bf has not told them what I asked.

bf told me that I should trust in him telling me when I'm invited and he's been telling his parents that an accident I was in was the reason why I wasn't coming over. it is partially true. His brother spilled the beans that I've been visiting his dad and stepmom and his mom has been upset over this. I told bf that I want it to be clear that i'm wanted or not. He says that it would ruin his reputation with his family and he doesn't want that.

AITA for asking him to ask his parents to message me themselves when they want me around? ######

Response:
 NTA. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your boyfriend sounds like a liar with no backbone. He’s lying to his parents about the real reason you won’t come over because he doesn’t want his mommy to be mad at him for not ever asking to bring you places. He’s also being a huge dick in letting his mother treat you that way for so long. There is nothing wrong with the limitation you set for him, especially given your past. Also, it’s be good to remind your boyfriend that you HAVE trusted him in the past that the invitation came from his family, and it hasn’t worked out very well for you, so you are under no obligation to believe him when it comes to this situation.

edit-second wind. ######


Prompt:
I was babysitting my niece (sister's kid) and she asked me "why does mommy kiss the grass cutting guy?"

I asked my sister what her daughter was talking about and she said "oh that's my boyfriend. He's our gardener". I mentioned that she was married. And my sister just said "well, yeah but (husband's name) knows about us. He's cool with it. We have an open relationship".

Idk maybe it was because of the way she said it but she didn't sound very convincing so I asked my Brother-in-law if they had an open relationship. He had know idea what I was talking about so I told him about the gardener. Anyway now he wants a divorce.

My sister keeps texting me calling me a slut and saying that I'm not a very loyal sister. AITA for this? ######

Response: NTA. I’m pretty sure what she said to you applies to her ######


Prompt:
I like Dominos pizza and order it once a month. I know it’s a bit expensive, I know it isn’t very authentic, I know it isn’t healthy. I also don’t care; for me it hits the spot and I enjoy it.

My housemate and good friend’s Italian girlfriend, every time I get dominos, has to mention how it isn’t actually good pizza or very Italian. Every. Single. Time. It also extends to when I make Italian food like pasta or spaghetti (we take turns to cook for the whole house), mentioning i didn’t add this ingredient or use this process. I’ve asked her a couple times to show me what I’m doing wrong but stuff always seems to ‘come up’

Now, she’s otherwise a pretty solid person but I just find this behaviour incredibly rude. I ordered pizza again today and she again commented about how it wasn’t authentic. I had enough and told her I didn’t give a fuck what was authentic or not, I just wanted to enjoy my Dominos.

She told me as an Italian she had to say something when she saw bad Italian food like the pizza or my pasta. I told her that if I as the son of Indians could eat what she alleged to be a chicken korma (it was *sweet* for some reason) and say nothing at the time she could eat my pasta and stay silent.

I’m aware that was perhaps a bit petty and rude, but to be honest I’m pretty done with her inane comments. My roommate is annoyed at the both of us saying that we need to make up, but honestly I’m still pretty annoyed with her. As I see it the only harm I’m doing with my dominos is to my waistline, but that has no bearing on her. ######

Response: NTA. I’m Mexican and I like Taco Bell. I’m not getting it because it’s authentic Mexican food. I get it cuz it’s crappy Americanized food that tastes good. You like what you like. At no point did you say “I’m gonna get this super authentic Italian food” and show up with dominos. Your roommates are being righteous jerks. ######


Prompt: My husband and I are expecting our first child - a boy - in a couple of months. My husband and his parents are all math geniuses and wanted his name to include some math reference. I thought it was a cute and funny idea. Recently, my husband thought of a name. I thought of names too. I like Dylan, Jared and Loren. My husband was like "um, yeah. I was thinking Cube." Like a Rubik Cube. I thought he was joking but he was serious. I told him that was the stupidest name ever. He told me to think of it as "Cute." I told him I'd rather name him Sweater before Cube. ######

Response: NTA. I’m confused as to why out of Rubik’s cube, he chose the word that wasn’t a name lmao. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend is Indian and I am white. When we started dating, he would call me a cutie pie. A couple of months into dating, he started calling me a cootie pie. The first time he called me cootie pie, I got angry because I thought he was trying to do an accent to make fun of how other indians may pronounce cutie. He explained that I misunderstood and that in Hindi, cootie meant beautiful. We've been together for 3 years and he's been calling me cootie pie at least once per day.

&#x200B;

On Friday, a new girl started at work. She introduced herself to the staff. She was born in India but came her for university and stayed here. I told her I am dating an Indian man myself. She asked if I knew any hindi and I told her I know a few of words, like cootie and billi. She told me it's inappropriate to say "cootie" at work and that I should be more respectful. I explained my boyfriend's nickname for me is "cootie pie" and that it means "beautiful". She told me "cootie" means "B\*itch". I apologized and said I may be pronouncing it wrong to save face.

&#x200B;

When I got home, I confronted my husband and he laughed. He said he thought it was funny to call me a "cootie". I snapped and yelled at him for being so immature. I asked him to sleep on the couch and he has been for the last two nights. He hasn't apologized yet and is pretending everything is normal. So reddit, am I the asshole for getting mad? ######

Response: NTA. I’m an Indian , and ‘kutti’ is actually a pretty bad insult . He shouldn’t be calling you that at all. ######


Prompt:
This incident happened some time ago.

We’re both in university. This semester she went on exchange to Australia. She left Canada Feb 2nd, but went to her hometown on Dec 22nd after final exams because she wanted to spend that time with her family until she left. For that reason we did our Christmas gift exchange early. I got her a really nice necklace in Morse code, a designer hoodie, and a pair of Beats headphones. I ordered the beats Dec 6th but the shipping was delayed big time (I think there was a postal strike? can’t remember) and so I didn’t get the headphones in time for her to have it. When I told her that, she asked what color the headphones are and I got them in blue because that’s her favourite color. She seemed a bit disappointed and and when I asked her what’s wrong she said she’d have preferred the grey.

Fast forward a few weeks. The headphones finally came in around Jan 20th and I went to Best Buy to return them. I did this because **I found the exact same pair on Amazon, brand new, in the color she wanted, and a much cheaper price**. Plus I have Amazon prime so I had 2 day shipping. I pulled the trigger and ordered it right to her house on Jan 21st.

When I told her about this she was pissed off at me because i Didn’t disclose that I was doing all that. She was also afraid that the Beats wouldn’t come in before she left on Feb 2nd. For the life of me I still can’t understand why she was mad. I mean yeah I suppose I didn’t tell her, but I got what she wanted, for a better price. I should also note that the headphones were delivered way before she left so that wasn’t an issue but she said she still didn’t appreciate it. Was I the asshole here? I thought I was being thoughtful and now I feel a bit unappreciated. ######

Response: NTA. I’m also confused why she’d be mad. ######


Prompt:
I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days.

At first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here.

My guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?

On top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?

I've considered leaving a short "please stop having your packages sent here" note, but haven't acted yet. ######

Response: NTA. I’d start bringing them into my house and writing return to sender on them and putting them back through the mail. After a few of her expensive packages got returned she would probably learn her lesson. Or you’d have the benefit of speaking to her face-to-face about it. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.

Initially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.

So yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.

In that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.
Well, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.

I called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.

Everyone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######

Response: NTA. I’d get a financial advisor and a lawyer on standby stat. You just never know how petty and entitled a person really is. I’d update your wills too now that you’re seeing the true colors of your family. ######


Prompt:
Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.

Basically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair.

I mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)

And because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up

It’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult.

The amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing.

So I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye.

If they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.

My mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit.

Luckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######

Response: NTA. I've seen many a pregnant woman say they've done the same thing, since for whatever reason pregnant bellies get treated as public property that other people feel like they have license to touch. Yet you put *your* hand right back on their middle-age gut pudge and they act *shocked* that you'd cross a personal boundary like that! Yeah, exactly, *that's the point,* so keep your hands to yourself! ######


Prompt: Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ######

Response:
 NTA. I've never in my life invited a boyfriend's sister to a birthday party with friends. He should not have assumed she was invited. No one is entitled to a party invitation.

I think if you hadn't said she's autistic and just said your bf assumed that his sister was invited, but you didn't invite her because you don't get along, you wouldn't be getting y t a judgements. ######


Prompt:
I have a huge family. I’m 13 my brothers 15.

For my birthday I got a can of spaghetti that’s worth a dollar (that my brother ate, and gave to me ), old pens which my brother also gave to me, and a 15 dollar gift card from my mom and dad. I didn’t get any cards or anything from my family no one messaged me happy birthday. My brother got a bayonet, a pocket knife, a wot shirt, a ring with “god protect my soul” engraved on it, two collectors coins from russia, one from 1952 one from 1981, and a new phone all from my parents, along with 40 dollar headphones from me . He got a birthday card from my dads stepmom who hated my dad but loves my brother, and practically got “happy birthday“s thrown at him. With all the stuff he got he was still sad, I told him to cheer up at least he didn’t get dollar store stuff, he enjoyed my joke but My parents said I was messing up his birthday for bringing it up.

AITA for feeling bad about getting cheap presents like pens and a dollar can of spaghetti for my birthday While my brother got really expensive stuff? ######

Response:
 NTA. I'm the oldest sibling and the clear favorite in my family and have been given lavish gifts on my birthday as well as on my siblings special days. It caused a huge issue between me and my siblings, 1 that I didn't recognize until the damage was done. While one of my brothers and I are making up for it now as adults, I don't talk to my other siblings at all.

You are justified in your feelings, and it is really terrible when parents blatantly have favorites because of the damage it can do between siblings. I don't have any advice for you, but I hope you know it's not your brother's fault. I hope this was a fluke and not something that happens to you every year. Also happy belated birthday 🖤 ######


Prompt:
This has been going on for a while but I think the tipping point happened a couple days ago. She had asked me (22m) if I was circumcised, to which I told her I was not; she proceeded to say things like gross and we’re getting you circumcised in a joking manner...etc.

In that particular situation I could more or less tell se was being serious. And just today she was saying she thinks 7 inches is right right size and anything less would be small,-but here’s the kicker:

She is a virgin and has never stuck a finger in her vagina, whereas I’ve told her I’ve been with plenty of girls that have never commented on my size or uncircumcised penis. (Quite frankly it kinda hurt when she said it would be gross because I take pride in good hygiene downtown)

Initially it was funny and cute but Ive been thinking this is coming from someone who has never even had sex but she has this imaginary expectation of porn penis.

Anyway, would I be the butthurt asshole to confront her and tell her to get more mature? ######

Response: NTA. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if you start saying what the "perfect" boobs and vag should look like, even if hers was the opposite. Confront her, her opinions are ignorant and hurtful. ######


Prompt:
My mom just unexpectedly died from cancer. This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and I really needed my boyfriend to fly home. I voiced that I would pay for his ticket, but he replied that he thought it would be better if I flew to his place on our already planned trip in a week. I have three kids who are devastated and this is really not possible anymore. He also has a flight here for June 6th but didn’t reschedule.

At first, the issue was he needed to be home to rent the open rooms in his house. But that has been mostly resolved and he’s shown no urgency. He has been there for me communicatively but I really just need to be held and cry.

I wanted (needed) him here, and kindly voiced how it would mean a lot to me. However, I am at a point in my life where I won’t beg, nor try to change anyone. If he wanted to be here, he would, right? This is causing me to seriously second guess if we are on the same page. AITA?

He also has traveled home during the pandemic, so respectfully that argument is null.

Edit: Asking for opinions because obviously I want to bring this up, and am considering taking space or ending it if I am not the asshole, and he tries to make me feel like one. ######

Response: NTA. I'm sorry that your mom died. When my grandpa died, my husband was on a boys weekend away. He had hitched a ride with another guy so he couldn't just leave. I told him I'd be fine. Just after midnight  I got the call that he had finally passed. Suddenly, the door opened and my husband was there. His friend gladly drove him home in the middle of the night from their camping spot a couple hours away. If he wants to be there, he'd be there. You need to decide if what he's doing is enough for you. ######


Prompt:
Me [19M] and my sister [19F] had some big problems a year ago. She started acting really creepy towards me. She walked in on me while I was showering a couple of times. Then one morning I woke up to her naked in my bed, spooning and humping me, while her hand was on my penis. Our parents refused to believe me for a while until she admitted to it. She got therapy and cut out the behavior. It was obviously very uncomfortable and traumatic for me. I had tried to move on from it as my sister was acting better.

Anyway recently I caught my sister on my phone. After I got it back, I used my computer to see that she had sent and deleted pictures to herself from my phone. The pictures were nudes of myself. I was so shocked and upset that she would do something like that again after everything.

I wanted to delete the pictures off her phone but she has a password. So I called her girlfriend (they have been together for 6 months) and asked if she knew. I broke down and explained everything. She was shocked obviously. I deleted the pictures. Her gf is the only person to believe me and truly support me about it actually.

Anyway her gf broke up with her citing what I told her. My parents are furious at me for sharing this personal information with someone outside the family saying it could ruin my sister. They say I could destroy all the progress she has made. ######

Response: NTA. I'm so, so sorry this is happening to you. What your sister is doing is sexual abuse. Unfortunately, in cases of sexual abuse within families, it is extremely common for family members to be in denial or to blame the victim. Are you in a position to move out? Until you get some distance it seems likely you will continue to be put in this position. ######