Prompt:
My gf and I share 2 cats together. The first one we adopted about 4 years ago and the second one we rescued from the streets one year ago.

However our first cat started getting fat so my girlfriend started starving the cats basically. She feeds them 1/4 cup of food twice a day. If you look at how much 1/4 of dry cat food is, you’ll see it’s next to nothing. For one of the cats bowls it only fills like 1/4th of the entire shallow oval bowl.

The cats wake us up in the morning and try their best to get our attention at night because they’re so hungry. If you walk near their food they’ll run over thinking they’ll get fed. I feel so bad for them. We used to fill their bowls to the top and for a few months we had a gravity feeder. I at least tried to get the GF to go back to at least just filling the bowls normally. She won’t budge.

I’ve tried secretly feeding the cats extra but the GF found out and starts HIDING the food because I’m ruining their diet and feeding schedule.

She’s basically starving the cats. I’ve been contacting rescues on FB to see if they’ll take the cats and I posted their pictures on a local facebook group hoping to find a better fit because I don’t think my gf can properly take care of them anymore and she won’t let me properly feed the cats a good amount. Does this make me an asshole or is it the right thing to do for the welfare of the cats. I don’t think she see’s what she’s doing is wrong and wouldn’t willingly give the cats to a better home or adjust their feeding because one of them just happens to be little fat. ######

Response:
 YTA. Take your cats to the vet.

Read the bag of food, they usually have feeding instructions. Don't free feed your cats. Obesity leads to health problems in felines like hyperthyroidism, diabetes, asthma and heart problems.

From a cursory Google search, *"If the cat owner is feeding a good quality dry food, that has a good quality protein, then the indoor cat needs only approximately 1/3 to 1/2 cup of food each day. Most high quality foods have approximately 500 calories per 8 ounce cup of food."*

Also, dry food is generally crap for cats. They have a low water seeking drive. Wet food, even generic wet food is better than dry feeding. Portion control is also very easy, as it's basically premeasured. ######


Prompt:
My brother is 40 and to the best of my knowledge has never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I suspect he is gay though. He's never married. He announced last year that he was going to be a father and we were shocked. I thought maybe he got someone pregnant. No. He hired a surrogate and even more weird is that he used a donor sperm and paid for a procedure to select the gender. His son is due in August.

I told him he was incredibly selfish. He has an okay job, but no support system. If something were to happen to him, that child would end up in foster care. Our mother is in her 70s, our other brother doesn't want kids and I am in no position to raise a child. I told him he's treating this baby like it's a pet. ######

Response: YTA. Surrogacy is expensive, so if he had enough money for that, he probably has a fair amount of money saved up. You worry about a support system, but there are thousands of examples where both parents die at the same time, so him being a single parent really isn't as risky as you seem to think. He's 40 and probably feels like he'll have more energy now for a child than later, and even if you disagree with his choices, as family you have already said your opinion and now you can stop bringing it up and just emotionally support him if you want any hope of your brother staying in your life. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend is 21F and I am 36F.

We live together and because she has no relationship with her controlling, abusive parents, I offered to pay her college tuition.

She’s a sophomore, and right now is taking summer courses. Last weekend, I had a work emergency in another state and was stressed out.

I told my girlfriend I wanted her to come with me. She said no, she needed to study for her exam the next day, and that she can’t focus on planes.

I ended up going on the trip alone and was resentful because I was in Las Vegas of all places and I felt she didn’t even care like a normal partner would that I would be surrounded with so many sources of temptation.

Yesterday, the university posted their bill for next semester. I told her that I didn’t know if I wanted to pay it.

She got super upset, but I reminded her that I didn’t have to pay any of it and that I felt like she obviously not appreciating me like she used to.

Since then, she’s been throwing a mini tantrum which has included raiding the wine cellar and not answering me when I ask why she’s drinking except to say “ I’m sad.”

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Stop financially abusing your partner. ######


Prompt:
I woke up later than usual today and heard my daughter (16) moving around downstairs. I went down and she was playing a video game. We said good morning, and I asked her how long she’d been up. She said for a couple of hours.

I jokingly said “bet you enjoyed having the house to yourself for a while” because my husband and I are usually are at work all day, and she’s usually home alone.

She said “yeah, actually, it was kinda nice”. I didn’t expect a response like that, and frankly, it hurt my feelings. I said “oh, do I not do enough for you?” She rolled her eyes and said “you know that’s not what I meant” and I said “do you really hate your family that much?” She just ignored me that time.

I gave her a chance to make things right and just drop it, and said “you know I’m not being serious” and she said “no I don’t because you say shit like this all the time”. I don’t tolerate that kind of language in my house, and she didn’t even drop it like she should have. I sent her to her room, and she went.

I discussed it with my husband, and I went up to her room, and told her that from now on, since she can’t appreciate family time, that she may not leave her room until we are up. She got very pouty, and told me that I was being unreasonable.

Thing is, she doesn’t appreciate anything I do. She constantly manipulates me, and doesn’t understand how hard isolation has been for me. Considering how she treats me, I think I am being more than reasonable. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Stop baiting your teenager into expressing an opinion and then punishing her for having one. You made this into a fight and you’re overreacting. ######


Prompt:
The title pretty much says it all.

I (32F) come from an extremely Catholic family, and my sister (30F) was cut off during her senior year of high school because our cousin found out she had a girlfriend and revealed her to them, and she ended up having to take out loans to pay for her college. When my mom died, my sister was not allowed at the funeral. Even though we were never close, I'm the only person in the family who still talks to her. We're basically on "Christmas card" terms, if you will, but that's about it.

My dad died about a year ago and everything was willed to me - his house, car, and of course all his savings. My sister wanted to contest the will, but her lawyer told her it would be a waste of money since my dad made sure to have his will drafted by another lawyer to prevent her from being able to do so. She asked me why I couldn't have even just helped her pay off her student loans or given her the car, but here's the thing - after doing all the math, I realized that after selling the house and car + my dad's savings, I was able to pay off my house, both cars (including my husband's), and set up a college fund for my kids (6F and 8M). I'm also pregnant, so that's another college fund I need to think about . . .

My sister and I were never close because she was always the favorite (until high school, of course) and she would always blame me for things she did. Even as adults we never got along that well, I'm just nice to her because I don't care that she's gay, and I did attend her wedding. But when it comes to my husband and children, I have to have priorities. My sister cut me off permanently, and while that does make me sad, I feel its worth it to secure my family's financial future.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. So, you think it was wrong for your family to cut off your sister for being gay...until it became convenient for you? If you gave a shit about doing the right thing, you'd have shared the wealth that she would have been entitled to if your parents weren't awful. You also chose your bigoted family over her up until now by going to events she was banned from and not standing up for her. This just confirmed for her that you were always just a step away from being as awful as them.

Also, justifying what you did because she acted like a typical sibling in high school is really gross. Own your selfishness. ######


Prompt:
I’m going to try to keep this short. I have a 19yo cousin who has never had a job, doesn’t go to school and has severe anxiety. I bring her around my boyfriend and our friends a lot to help with her loneliness. She eventually started talking to my boyfriends band mate. I told calmly told her how I didn’t like that because my boyfriend has been working on music since before he knew me and we should respect his space. I also told her we need boundaries and I don’t want her talking to his friends because they’re a bit older (26-27) My boyfriend told his band mate the same thing and they both agreed to stay friends but they wouldn’t see eachother.

Fast forward a couple months and I find out she created an onlyfans account. The link to it was on her bio on Instagram. She didn’t post any nudes or relatively sexual as the pictures but she’d promote herself on the comments of those pictures. I look at the people she’s added and 1/3 of them were my boyfriends friends. She added 2/4 of my boyfriends band mates.

I think she thinks I’m being a hater but if I’ve expressed my boundaries to her before I think it’s fucked up that she disregards them. I told her she’s a really really pretty girl and she doesn’t need to be crossing my boundaries that she’s agreed to in order to be successful on that site. Needless to say she’s since blocked me from that Instagram but has me on her main one 💀 ######

Response:
 YTA. So you take her to you friends to encourage her to make new friends, but not the ones you introduced her to, because you get to dictacte other ppl who they befriend and who not.

Get off your high horse. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been having issues with this woman pandering to my son for years (she has known my son since he was 2) but really only took a stand when she moved in and my ex started relying on her to help out with MY kids (like watching them if he is busy, or asleep as he sleeps early for work).  HE is the father and it is his responsibility to do things for his kids, not some stranger whom I do not trust at all.  Plus my older son has been telling me my four year old calls her mom sometimes. hugs and kisses her, and calls her family which I feel is totally inappropriate.

So I’ve been telling my son that she is NOT his family and she is a stranger.  She is only his dad’s family, which is true.  He does not have to listen to her, only his dad, which also true.  I’ve also asked him to stop hugging and kissing her but mostly because of COVID.

I guess my son reported this to his dad because suddenly my SO is calling me an asshole because he says it’s his GFs house too and if he wants to let her help him with the kids, and if the kids want to bond with her or consider her family it’s their choice and I’m “teaching them to hate like me”.  I don’t think I’m teaching them to hate at all as I teach them to respect all people.  He also says now my son is acting distant and saying weird things to his GF.  I feel like if my son is acting this way that is his choice.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. She’s not a stranger, she’s known them for 2.5 years. You don’t have to like her, but unless there’s an actual reason to believe she’d hurt your son, you shouldn’t interfere with her authority as an adult. If she’s watching the son while the ex naps, do you really want him to not listen to her? That could be extremely dangerous. By your logic, kids should just ignore babysitters.

You sound bitter that your ex has moved on. All your doing now is creating a toxic situation with your son caught in the middle. If your ex and her have been together this long, she might be in the picture permanently. ######


Prompt:
Okay to start off both my girlfriend and I are expecting a boy and we are 6 months in and we couldn't be more happy about her having her first child and me having my second boy. I love them all very much.

My girlfriend and I started a shouting match because she is barely eating I'd say like a quarter of a meal a day if I'm lucky and barely if any snacks in between.  And she will always just shrug me off and tell me I don't know her body (which is true) but barely eating once a day is not healthy and even worse for a pregnant woman. Its been like this throughout all the pregnancy she has been heavily nauseus all the time. I am freaking out because the doctor already told us the baby seemed small and she HAD to gain weight or she'd have to go in the office.

I'm trying to reason with her on my lunch break I tell her like 30 mins before to look for whatever she wants I tell her I could buy her restaurant dishes for breakfast lunch and dinner she just needs to eat but she'll refuse and say the stress I'm inducing is far worse for the baby than not eating, and I've recognized this its been 2 months of me holding my tounge but today I we were having the same argument about how dangerous fasting is for a baby and even fasting has a full meal at the end of the day but my stress is much worse. I told her the baby could die if she didn't eat and if she wasn't prepared to be a mother and work past her comfort she should've had an abortion.

She immediately started to cry and how dare I say that. I told her to not nitpick what I told her and to look at the big picture which is a healthy baby but she didn't want to speak. And I'm expecting now she'll want me to apologize

So AITA for saying how dangerous her actions were and she shouldve had an abortion if she wasn't prepared? ######

Response: YTA. She’s been prescribed 2 separate medications just to “keep things down.” It’s not her fault she’s not eating, and your comment was way out of line. She is so nauseous and can’t keep food down without meds, no wonder she doesn’t want to eat. She’s not trying to fast, her body is not accepting food normally. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (16) has been doing online school. Yesterday, we were going over her grades, and there was a 0 that she “forgot” to tell me about. I have a very low tolerance for lying, so I let her have it.

Today is my birthday, but she also had an AP test today, and she needed plenty of rest. However, this morning, she woke me and my husband up with breakfast. When I looked at the time, it was about 7 in the morning.

I asked her how long she’d been up, and she said since 5 because she made cupcakes as well. That would mean she wasn’t asleep as long as she needed to be. I was furious, but I tried to be as calm as possible.

I said “I thought I told you to sleep”. She said “and I did, just not too long”, we went back and forth for a while and I had run out of patience. I began to yell at her, but before I could even say much, she just slammed the tray onto the floor and went to her room crying.

I understood what this was now — since I’m mad at her “kind gesture”, she gets to play the victim and make ME apologize. It was blatant manipulation, which she always does.

She had to clean up the mess, and now she’s grounded for the whole summer. My husband tells me that I’m overreacting, but she has fucked up time and time again, and her grades are the most important thing right now. Her job is school, and she manages to fuck it up all the time.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She's too old for you to control her sleep schedule. Control your temper. ######


Prompt:
I(27M) have been living with my girlfriend (26F) for 2 years. We rent a nice apartment together. I make 3 times more money than she does, so when we moved in together, we agreed on I should pay 70 % and she should pay only 30% of the rent, and she will clean more than I will. She buys more food than I buy too, and she also cooks more(she cooks better than me) Well I slowly realized that since I pay much more money than she does, I should not clean our apartment. So in the last one year she did everything around the house, and I thought she Is okay with it, but today she was upset during cleaning and she told me this is not how things should be. I told her that she should pay more then, but she said she can’t because even though she is working a lot, she buys food too and she can’t save any money. (I don’t believe this) we ended up having a huge fight and she I crying now I think.  I think she is dramatic and not equal.

AITA for thinking I am right ? ######

Response: YTA. She's not your maid. What happens if you buy a house? Does she have to do all the maintenance and mow the lawn and stuff too? Get off your ass and help out, you live there too. ######


Prompt:
My adult daughter is living with us to help take care of my husband, her step dad. Her day job is nursing so she’s been quite stressed lately, and I blamed that for how distant she’s been.

Thing is, she’s a plenty affectionate person. She tells her dog that she loves him multiple times a day. Before she leaves for work, when she gets home, when she feeds him, when they’re training, completely at random. Whereas she barely acknowledges me at all. It’s this huge, ugly pound dog who I don’t find lovable at all, but I digress.

The other day she was fawning over him as usual and I snapped. I tried to politely tell her that I’d appreciate some of the same love that she shows to a damn dog. I’m her mother after all. She didn’t react well to that and stormed away, with the dog of course. She called me an ass and my husband says she has a point.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She's caring for your husband, and that's not enough to demonstrate her love? You sound exhausting. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I asked her if she wanted to play a game with me sense we can't meetup in person and the only one that fit the criteria was dbx2.
We both start playing around the same time and I get past the tutorial and decide to wait for her to finish. I start doing random story and side missions while I wait, she sits there doing the tutorial. I ask if she needs help she says no so I keep doing missions. 2 hours later she is still on the tutorial, at this point she says I'll try again tommorow and I immediately say I cant believe you wasted time on that instead of just saying you did not want to play it. she says she does and I hang up now she's confused I'm annoyed and we've both gotten no where. ######

Response:
 YTA. She was learning something new so you could play together and instead of being grateful for her effort, you got angry.

You wasted *her* time. ######


Prompt:
This happened today,
We live in a flat in a big city, as a result, me and my sister are sharing a room together.

I wanted to sleep, but my sister, had an online meeting with her teacher and her classmates, and had everything on her speaker.
I asked her if she could turn it down a notch cause it's bothering me, it didn't change much cause it was still bothering me.
I asked her if she could use some headphones, she said sure bring them over.

Here is where everything happened,
I told her "No we're in a shared room together, so you should always use headphones, since it bothers me".

Now, my sister always puts her tv shows/music/instagram stories on speaker, but i never really say anything, I just plug my earphones in and i'm good, but in this instance I really wanted to sleep and it bothered me.

She told me that if I didnt bring her the earphones/headphones, that she would still use the speakers.
So I replied, that if she didn't turn it off or use headphones, I will cut the internet off.

Fast forward to when I cut the internet off, and I was in my bed.
I heard my mom coming through the door and defending my sister cause "she is studying", so apparently she can BOTHER ME IN MY SLEEP if she's studying.
I did not think that i was fair, i called them out on it, i turned the internet on, and stormed off into my parent's room.

so AITA for cutting the internet off and thinking that my sister should go look for headphones to put on her head, because we share our room? ######

Response:
 YTA. She was in the middle of a meeting with her class, and you acted like a brat. If you wanted her to use headphones, considering she probably couldn’t get up and hunt them down, you should’ve gotten them yourself. You’ve never mentioned to her before that it bothered her, so you can’t expect her to know.

Also, what the hell do you think gives you the right to turn of the internet in your MOMS house? You don’t pay for it, so keep your hands off.

Her school comes before your nap time. ######


Prompt:
I've been with my GF for 5 years and we recently had an anniversary. We did a huge thing and exchanged a bunch of presents. One of the presents I got her was a silver necklace from a game that I really enjoyed as a child and consider one of my favourite games. The publisher released it with a cubic zirconium piece so I had a jeweller remove it and replace it with a small diamond. All in all it cost me a pretty penny.

My GF loved it when I gave it to her and kept saying how happy she was with it, she'd wear it almost every day. When she was out with her friends one of them remarked "Oh, is that so and so's necklace from that game?". She Googled it and saw it was the same and blew up on me.

I explained what I'd done and how it was set with a diamond now but she was livid that I gave her "your gaming shit" and she now refuses to wear it and said I could do with it what I want.

Edit: This, [FF7, Aerith's necklace](https://store.na.square-enix-games.com/en_US/product/597038/final-fantasy-vii-silver-necklace-aerith-ribbon-ver-jewelry), is what I got her. I'm not really a gamer, I've got one gaming model which is just a plane and that's it. I've got a lot of other hobbies and I mainly just play FIFA or BF1 with friends every now and then.

My GF just reminds of Aerith a lot and I thought it would be a sweet gift. There were a lot of other gifts that were exchanged so this isn't the only thing I got her. ######

Response: YTA. She thought you bought it because you were thinking of *her* and what *she'd* like, and she found out that you were actually thinking of *yourself* and the thing that *you* like. ######


Prompt:
Ok, so my fiancée (21F) and I (24M) have been together for 4 years now. Our relationship has been rocky lately especially being stuck together in quarantine. She moved out here 1000+ miles from her friends and family but hasn’t made an effort to make friends here, so really I’m her only friend. She’s a really sweet, smart girl and I do love her but we just have been butting heads constantly.

I don’t want to go into detail but a few months ago we went through a severe rough patch and I did/said a lot of things I regret. We were both acting shitty to each other and I acknowledged that I was a bad partner during this time. She has held this over my head since.

Today we got into a heated argument about something stupid and she brought it up again and told me how much I hurt her... She then started to have a full on breakdown, crying and hyperventilating and everything.

She started saying shit like “I just want my mom, I want my mommy, I want to go home” which came off extremely pathetic and childish to me. I calmly told her she needs to woman up if this relationship is going to work and she needs to learn how to forgive me. She can’t be crying for her mommy like a 5-year-old child.

This pissed her off and made things worse... Since the fight she has not spoken to me. I love her dearly and I think I was justified in giving her tough love in that moment. It is not normal for an adult woman to cry for her mom like that...

Please help me out Reddit AITA??? ######

Response: YTA. She needs to go home. ######


Prompt: This is petty but it irritated me and I want some feedback. IDK maybe stay-at-home is getting to us. Girlfriend and I have been watching Jeopardy on Netflix recently as a nightly ritual before bed. I love calling out the answers I know, which is usually quite a lot (I've had multiple people tell me I should try out for the show). She does sometimes but rarely. She has a habit however of the ones I don't know or the ones where nobody on the show knows them she will go "mmm hmmm" when Alex says the answer, like she knew it the whole time. After like so many times of this I paused it and confronted her and asked her why she does that. She explained how she knew the answer on that particular one and to me it was an insinuation that she like knows every single answer every time she goes mmmm hmmm. So I unpaused it and passive-aggressively started mocking her by not answering any of the questions out loud and just going mmm hmmm after every question and she rolled her eyes at me. It was really getting on my nerves so I just turned it off and left the room. We haven't talked since. AITA for being annoyed by this? ######

Response:
 YTA. She might be full of shit or she might know the answer, but not able to say it quickly enough. Regardless, you called it out like an asshole. Time to stop watching Jeopardy together if it bothers you that much OR give her the benefit of the doubt and let it go.

A little relationship advice: most of the time, trying to teach someone "a lesson" is the asshole move. You're better off calmly explaining why something bothers you (without assigning blame) and perhaps making a request for some kind of change or compromise. ######


Prompt:
My wife always complains about breastfeeding. First her nipples were always hurting, and now she always talks about how she never gets a minute away from the baby because it feels like the baby is glued to her chest.

The other night we got in an argument because she wanted to go to the store and she said there’s milk pumped for the baby if she wakes up and gets hungry.  I told her not to worry about it and I’d go. She snapped and said she always has to stay home with the baby and never gets a minute alone. She was saying how she feels lonely and it feels unfair, how I don’t understand how all of her meals are always cold or she has to scarf them down, and how I don’t understand that she always has to wake up with the baby and even if I were to bottle feed the baby, she’d still have to wake up anyways to pump to prevent engorgement.

I got tired of the nagging and told her she needs to just formula feed and stop bitching about breastfeeding. She had the option and she chose to breastfeed, why is that my fault. I told her if she’d just formula feed then I could help more, but she keeps saying that it’s better to breastfeed and that I’m fully capable of helping her with the milk she has stored in the freezer, even though I was under the impression that she was trying to stock up for when she goes back to work.

Once again the excuses started so I said either formula feed or shut up. Now she’s mad at me and she hasn’t talked to me in a few days unless it pertains the baby. I told her I was sorry if I hurt her feelings but I guess that wasn’t enough. ######

Response:
 YTA. She literally told you it was cool to use the bottle in the fridge, and you wouldn't. Breastfeeding is something she clearly wants to do even if it's hard, so your job is to support her in that.

Also, why are you saying 'she' should just formula feed and then you can 'help' more? You know that's also your baby, right? You sound miserable to coparent with. ######


Prompt: Before I start, I just want to say my gf is beautiful. Since quarantine, she started working out at home. She also changed her diet. She lost some weight but she’s also been toner. Especially around her ass and wait. I’ve complimented her at first but now she’s getting a bit cocky. All she talks about is working out and eating. She talks about how much she can squat and how good she’s feeling. She does this constantly and it’s getting a bit boring and annoying. I dated a smart girl who spoke way more than her appearance and her fitness stuff. I told her that it’s good that she’s working out but she isn’t as hot as she thinks she is and that it would be better if she went back to her old habits. She always had a nice body. She didn’t need to work out. The results of working out has led to her being annoying so the results of a tad smaller waist isn’t worth this. She sounds like a meat head now. ######

Response: YTA. She likes the way she looks now, and is feeling confident in herself, and your response is "hey babe, you're actually pretty ugly, so get off your high horse and get back to the books." ######


Prompt:
My younger sister just made some completely normal mozzarella sticks that we bought a few weeks ago, and I asked if I could have some of them.

This is where my older sister who has celiac disease jumps in saying that she’s having some too, where I then point out that she definitely shouldn’t be having any, which she is well aware of, but she goes on to say that yes she wants some, so she will have some.

After that I get a bit frustrated and I go on a tiny about 30 second rant about how unfair it is to our mom who’s done so much to make sure that my sister can have whatever kind of flour and whatnot that she needs to make anything she wants really. I feel like it’s kind of an asshole move to my mum who’s spent a lot of money to make sure she has everything she needs. Not to mention the fact that she’s ruining her intestines and preventing them from being able to absorb vitamins and such when she eats gluten.

After this she starts crying and says I have no idea what it’s like to live this this, and that she’d like to see me avoid all of this, and basically just runs upstairs to her room and slams the door.

Like I get that it’s hard to just give up all of these foods that she loves especially since she only found out about it this September, and I’ve been trying really hard to not judge her for slipping up on it because it’s a lot of changes to make all of a sudden, but this whole attitude she got about it just now just made me a bit angry.

I’d also like to say that we’ve been baking a lot more than usual since being stuck in our house for the past couple of weeks, but haven’t once made anything like cakes or anything she couldn’t also eat, and also if she wanted mozzarella sticks we could just find a recipe for making good gluten-free ones, which we’ve talked about doing plenty of times but we just never got around to doing it.

So AITA for lashing out on her? ######

Response:
 YTA. She knows what it’s going to do to her and she’s making a conscious choice, it’s up to her.

You obviously care but you went about it the wrong way. ######


Prompt:
So i have lived with my friend for 5 months now and we’ve been friends for 13 years. We both have kids she has a 2 year old i have a 1 year old. Just some background if y’all were curious.

So anyway I’m one of the millions of people who got laid off. So i obviously just stay home with my daughter. I do all the chores now too now that I’m not working but i am still paying my half of the bills. My friend is an apartment manager and is still working. And she is getting a stupid amount of perks right now for working like, being about to work from home, a raise, half days off, and paid punches.

This morning i was walking my friend and her daughter to the car and my friend said she’s getting lunch with her boss because of the paid lunches. I said mockingly because you’re essential and she said exactly. I then said you’re not essential. Which she said back at least I’m not sitting home all day of the couch.

I didn’t think i was an asshole for saying she wasn’t essential but now I’m thinking i shouldn’t of been so dismissive of her work.

Amita for saying my friend isn’t essential. ######

Response: YTA. She is essential worker. And you sound quite jealous of your friend and the "perks" she's getting. Your comment got a well deserved come back from her. ######


Prompt:
I live in NYC and my roommate has been quarantining with her parents since March so I have had the apartment all to myself. My boyfriend has been staying over more often (he also lives nearby in NYC) since it's just me in the apartment.

Well the other day the room above mine flooded and my bedroom was directly impacted and is unusable right now.

I told my roommate all about this and she offered me her bedroom to stay in until my room is fixed. I asked her if she was sure, and told her that I could sleep on the couch in the living room, but she insisted that it's fine since she doesn't plan on coming back to NYC until close to the end of the year. All she asked me is that I wash her sheets sometime before she moves back in.

Me and my boyfriend stay in her room together (we don't have s\*x in it because I don't want to be disrespectful so we do it in the living room if we ever want to) when he comes over. One morning she facetimed me and I picked up and she saw my boyfriend in her bed next to me and she acted weird and hung up.

Then she sent me a long text saying that she didn't know that he was also sleeping in her bed and that I should have given her a heads up. I told her we're not having s\*x in her bed or anything but she was adamant that I should've given her a heads up and that she was under the impression that it was just me and that she's not comfortable with both of us being in her bed.

I asked my bf and one of my other friends if I was TA and they both agree that because we don't have s\*x in her bed, it doesn't really matter. I don't really understand why she's even bothered? She's okay with me sleeping in her bed but not someone else? AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. She gave permission for you, not you and your boyfriend. When you were double checking that it was OK, it would have been polite to mention that your boyfriend was staying over as well so she would be aware it wasn't just you.

>we don't have s\*x in it because I don't want to be disrespectful so we do it in the living room if we ever want to

This also feels like AH behavior. OK, you're not having sex in her bed but you're having sex in the communal area? Which I'm assuming she also uses when she's home? And also it's probably harder to clean because you can't just throw a couch in the washing machine. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway... Also please don't just assume 'YTA' just because of the title.

So I like painting/drawing, it's a great hobby of mine, and I love to do it in my free time.

My gf is a very clumsy girl. She'll trip on air. Which is surprising since she loves to bake. She can bake really good cakes/desserts, tho the clumsiness sometimes makes her drop flour, eggs etc. And she has broken a few glasses, but she has always paid for me to get them back, so it's not really a big issue.

 So since we're all staying inside I decided to paint, and I spent like 4+ hours on it (with breaks of course) and the final project was amazing. One of my best artworks. I was ecstatic.

I asked my gf to come and see it to give her opinion and what it looked like. She came in a few minutes and told me it looked amazing, and that I should sell it. She then got up to make some coffee and I decided to add some final touches and stuff.

So then when I was doing it, my g.f comes in, with the hot coffee, and...

*Spills it all over my painting.*

She immediately started saying sorry while saying she'll pay for a new canvas, new supplies, and other things.

I got really mad, and started yelling at her for being clumsy, and told her she couldn't repay me hours of my time and effort, that maybe she should watch where she's going before she ruins something else. And then we didn't really talk, and I came back to a ruined dry, messy canvas.

I went to sleep, and in the morning woke up to her making breakfast and apologizing. The house was all clean, and she made my favorite cake and stuff.  I forgived her, tho I'm still a little mad over it. But I feel a little guilty...

So aita for yelling at her reddit? ######

Response: Yta. She didn’t walk into the room intent on ruining your painting. Screaming at her and putting her down didn’t fix your painting, but it certainly bruised her feelings and your relationship. Was it worth it? ######


Prompt:
I am very stressed at the moment. I cannot complete anything, so I turn to baking to feel like I can at least get something done.

All of my kids and my husband are appreciative of it, except for my 16 year old daughter, who has been on this diet she doesn’t need to be on. She will eat cookies occasionally but since I’ve been making more, she has to eat more.

She came up to me earlier today and said she didn’t want to have so many cookies. I was already in a terrible mood, and this just made me snap. I said “fine”, and went to the kitchen and grabbed butter, eggs, anything you use to make cookies and dumped it all in the trash.

My daughter said “you don’t have to stop... I just don’t think I’ll have any more” but I was already in it.

One of my younger kids walked in and asked what I was doing, and I said “throwing away all the cookie ingredients because your sister decided that we don’t get to have any more”.

My daughter raised her voice and said to me “you need to stop shoving words in my mouth, I know you’re in a bad mood right now” I cut her off and said “telling someone they’re in a bad mood doesn’t help”. She rolled her eyes and went to her room.

Perhaps I overreacted. But the teenager does not get to dictate what happens in my house. I am tired of her diet ruling my eating habits, because I’m not going to bust ass to make a special little meal for her every night.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She didn’t try to control what you did, she just said that she wouldn’t be having anymore. If you don’t want to make her special meals, that’s fine. She ‘s old enough to cook on her own. But, all she was saying in that moment, was that she didn’t want anymore cookies. You severely overreacted. ######


Prompt:
Me and my girlfriend have different tastes in shows and movies, but we do have some common ground. I like anime a lot more than she does, but we've watched a few different anime together and she's conceded that some of them are actually pretty good. She really enjoys Bollywood movies because of her culture and I'm not a huge Bollywood lover, but we've watched like 3 movies and I thought they were all pretty good. Usually we don't watch the shows she wants to because I'm not interested in her tastes at all, but she still likes anime somewhat, so we compromise and watch it.

Lately, she's started being more selective of the anime we're watching. The last show we were on was really good, but she said she was bothered by the fact that every woman in the show has big breasts and wears skimpy clothes or bunny outfits for no reason. I told her that's just the style, and she's making a big deal for no reason, but eventually I agreed that we would switch to a different one, but she didn't like that one either because there were little to no female characters in it.

After this, she told me that she would only watch anime that a) has female characters in it and b) doesn't inappropriately sexualize them for no reason because in her own words, it was really starting to get to her.

I told her she was being ridiculous with these requirements and she got mad at me. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She didn't tell you not to watch them. She said she didn't want to watch objectifying or heavily sexualized anime. And that's a totally reasonable thing for her to decide. ######


Prompt: I am in a group chat with some of my classmates, including a girl with really, really big boobs. She never really talked about them being annoying. She posted on the group chat, “I’m getting a breast reduction! I’m so excited, say bye-bye to the twins!” I said “RIP” and posted a picture of a gravestone. It was intended as a light hearted joke since that’s the tone of the group chat. People got upset at me and basically accused me of being insensitive and sexist, saying I’m implying that the only thing that matters is her boobs. In my opinion it was just a silly joke and fit the tone of her message. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. She could be very insecure about them and it might’ve hit a nerve. ######


Prompt:
I'm going to keep this short. I graduated college last week. I took graduation pictures with my family and friends. I put up a little collage on facebook, twitter etc but I cut out my mum from the pictures before this. I have nothing against my mum but she looks significantly younger for her age and it annoys me. Some people think we're sister and one time someone even though she was younger than me. And people tend to think she's my dad's younger trophy wife (she's only 2 years younger than him). I mean I hope I get her genes but it really annoys me. So to avoid inevitable comments about her I cropped her out of our family picture.

She's hurt that I cut her out but not my brother or my dad. Like she's not part of the family. But really it was a harmless thing and I did thank my "parents" in my post so that includes her.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. She can't help the way she looks and if you really did care for her as much as you say you do, you wouldn't care. Her relationship should be worth the confusion. I think you take it a bit too hard. If people have some kind of misunderstanding or judgement about your family, you tell them to fuck off. You're just being bratty.

Imagine being in her shoes. She is probably wondering what she did to deserve this and probably thinks you don't love her. You literally erased her from important day photos. Actions speak louder than words.

Flat out disgusting. ######


Prompt:
My cousin Luke (fake name) has always been a bit on the feminine side. He changed his gender to become a female last month. He now wants to go by the name Lucy.

Him and his parents came over for lunch and we were all talking. I told them about how my exams were going and how I bought my first car last week. After we all spoke, I asked Luke how he was doing and he told me that he wanted to be called Lucy. Now, most of my extended family were against Luke wanting to transition  as they felt that it wasn't normal. I told him that I prefer calling him Luke as it felt weird calling him by a different name.

He got upset and told me that I was being rude to him. My father got involved telling us to behave like men and stop squabbling between eachother. The rest of the family kept quiet. After about 10 minutes, him and his family left. My mum told me that I shouldn't have been rude like that and just called him by his new name just to please him . But at the same time, my father told me that I shouldn't call him by the new name. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. She asked you to call her Lucy, do it. It's not fucking hard.

Also, coming out as transgender isn't something people just do on a whim and she's not changing her name cause she just likes Lucy better, she's doing it because being born male and everything associated with that causes her dysphoria which can range from being uncomfortable (MUCH more uncomfortable than you are calling her by a new name) to "I would rather die than live this way". Have some fucking respect and compassion for your cousin ######


Prompt: My wife (29F) and I (33M) had our first child at the beginning of 2020.  Since my wife was breastfeeding, she always woke up to take care of the nighttime crying as our baby usually would need to be fed.  During this time, I discovered that I would usually sleep through any soft crying, only waking up when our baby was actively yelling.  Things were rough already, but about a month ago the baby stopped sleeping in the bassinet and started exclusively on mommy's chest.  Since that only works if my wife is upright, she's been stuck on the couch every night.  I've tried to take her place a couple times, but the baby definitely doesn't sleep as well with me and I have to admit I don't really want to do it except to give my wife a break.  The issue is that there's always an easy excuse not to: my beard bothers the baby, I have to work early(wife lost her job due to the troubles), there aren't any bottles clean(we started supplementing with formula).  My wife cites these as reasons why she should just do it, but I know it's also because she doesn't trust me to wake up if our baby starts to slide off and, at the end of the day, because I'd honestly rather not have to.  My wife typically puts herself last when it comes to...well, most things, but it's hard to get her to change her mind when she fights tooth and nail to accommodate me.  AITA for not not forcing her to take the night off? ######

Response: YTA. Shave the beard, clean the bottles, look into sleep training, talk to your wife. Does she get any sleep? ######


Prompt:
Hello all! I'm in a bit of a pickle and am curious about your judgement.

I (M21)  recently was drinking with my flatmates, my girlfriend (F20) and a friend of one of my flatmates (let's call him "Ben"). Ben and I began talking-- we shared some great conversation, and after a while I became tired and went to bed with my GF. While we were getting ready for bed I remarked that, had I not been in a relationship, I probably would have hit on Ben a little bit. She was clearly quite hurt by this, told me that it suggested she wasn't enough and gave me the cold shoulder. Even after explaining that it was only a passing thought, I love her dearly, and do not feel anything for anyone else, sje still was deeply bothered by this.

Now, clearly I'm not going to do something like this again-- it makes my gf uncomfortable and it'd be wholly inconsiderate to just ignore that. However, is it a jerk move to tell your partner that you find someone attractive in passing? Is this just an individual boundary to respect? Is she uncomfortable with my bisexuality (something that I've told her about in the past)?

Thanks! ######

Response: YTA. Saying you are interested in another person while in a relationship is totally inappropriate. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (29) is a very lively and energetic person. But sometimes her behaviour is really annoying for me (33). She wants me to share her joy for little meaningless things up tp 5 times a day. It's tiring.

Yesterday we went on a hike and she was constantly admiring the nature.
"The grass has reached an impressive height."
"These ducks have babies! Look! Three!"
"Nature is healing my soul. Look at this panorama. Breathtaking."
She was obviously having the time of her life. I get it. There is a duck, there is some green grass and some hills where we were walking. But the hills are not that impressive and you can literally see them everywhere in our area. She made 3 or 4 comments about nature and it always included the imperative to look. But I just wanted to exercise and get the hike done as quick as possible. I know exactly where her behavior comes from. Her family does the same. "Look, James. The tit found a nest in our tree." "Mary, look how beautiful your cake glazing turned out to be. Delicious!"

I am so tired of looking. I don't want to give her that attention and the things she is pointing out dont make me happy. They mean nothing to me. So I guess I was being rude by telling her "Please. Please let me walk in peace and stop asking me to admire all this stuff. I don't want to!" She didn't take it well and we ended up being quiet for the rest of the hike. I didn't want to silcence her. I am sorry and apologized but she was angry and avoiding me in our apartment. She said "So what else am I supposed to talk about?". I think she got me wrong. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: YTA. Please don’t ruin a good, wholesome woman. Just leave. I have a lively family member that has been married to a man like you for 40 years who never got the courage to leave after kids. She’s miserable but they’re in their 70s now and it’s too late. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as my brother knows my main reddit account

I have a younger brother who is 20 I am 32. Recently my younger brother accidentally got a girl pregnant. He told me that and told me he is only going to pay child support and that's all he is going to do with the kid. I was mad and I told him he is no longer family to me. I told him he is a horrible person for ditching the girl who he got pregnant and ditching his child. He said he is still going to pay child support. I told him in my eyes he is no longer a man. '

Anyway our mom heard the fight and told me that it's his choice if he wants to be in the child life and that if I disown him for his own choice she will disown me. I told that she is babying my little brother and now he has to man up and be the father. This was at a family gathering. People herd this and started picking sides. Some family member's went with my mom and brother while the others went with me. Since that family gathering people on my brothers side have actively ignored people on my side and vice versa.

Today my younger sister 17 called me and said that I ruined the family. She also said she supports her brother decision and I a bad person.  So aita  for disowning my younger brother who chose not to raise the child he helped create and then causing the family to become divided ######

Response: Yta. Personally, I support a woman’s right to choose, but I’d feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t also support a mans right to choose. Now men obviously can’t choose for a girl to abort their child as it’s her body, but I think it’s ridiculous that men are shunned and shamed  for not stepping up when they don’t want to or are not ready, even legally forced to pay child support when they’re not financially safe to. If a man does not agree to be a parent in an unplanned pregnancy then that should be their choice, and the one carrying the child should make a personal decision about if they still want to have said child. It’s not right to force women to be parents, and it’s not right to force a man to either. ######


Prompt:
So, I'm going to be in high school next year, and I know for a fact my schedule will be extremely, extremely busy: I'm taking 4 APs, playing varsity soccer (tryouts have already happened for next year's fall sports) and year-round competitive club lacrosse, am going to join the debate team, and have an internship with our governor.

&#x200B;

My goal is eventually to get into a top school  like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, or Georgetown, and I only see my schedule getting busier and busier as the years go on. So I figured I should try to get rid of any distractions that could get in the way of my productivity, and decided to come up with a list. At the top of the list was the TV and the xbox, and I convinced my parents to get rid of them by telling them it would help my productivity.

&#x200B;

The problem is, this made my older sister pissed at me. She watches a lot of Netflix, and is pissed at me. I literally don't see why-- if she wants to watch Netflix, she can do so on her laptop. But she keeps complaining about how it 'isn't the same' on a smaller screen. I really think she's making too much of big deal over this.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Part of being a driven, successful person is learning to manage distractions YOURSELF and self-regulate. Not requiring everyone else around you to alter their lifestyles to help YOU succeed. I guarantee you’ll have to deal with noisy people and distractions in college, even if it’s Harvard. Best get to practicing now. ######


Prompt:
I am a college student (21F) who needed a part time job, so applied for and accepted a job offer for a local popular fast food restaurant in my city.

I went in for orientation/training, and quickly realized I did not fit in whatsoever. Besides the general manager, I was the only white employee. I was only there for a few hours, but I had problems fitting in and talking with the other employees. Part of this I’m sure is just getting use to new coworkers, but I can tell part of it is also cultural differences.  I have worked in customer service/fast food before and had a much different experience than this.

I feel like a racist asshole for this, but I resigned the next day because I felt extremely uncomfortable in that work environment (although my verbal reason for leaving was “too low of compensation for the demanding and stressful work”). My family says I did the right thing for “trusting my gut” and not putting myself through discomfort if I think I’d have been miserable working there. I can’t stop thinking about my decision and how intolerant to other races and cultures I must truly be based on my behavior in this situation. I never would have even considered myself a racist, but I’m questioning myself now...

So, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. One day? Non-white people put up with being the only non-white person in various environments ALL THE TIME. IMO you should have waited until you saw whether you liked the job, learned the workplace culture (which takes time at any job), liked the people (who may take more than half a day to get to know), and were getting out of the job whatever you were looking for when you applied for it. ######


Prompt:
So  I've (25M) lived with my ex (24F) for 5 years, we dated for almost 3 years, this was 2 years ago, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now- they're even planning on moving in with eachother, she's very excited, since breaking up we've just been friends.

I met my girlfriend 5 months ago, dating for 3months.

She knows I've got a roommate, she knows my roommate is a woman and she knows we are friendly.

I didn't think it was necessary.

We were recently talking about exs when I said I'd briefly dated *roommates name* - a silly mistake on my part.

She freaked out, calling me an AH for not telling her first and had she known she wouldn't have been as trusting of *roommates name* and that its something I should've told her.

My roommate agrees I should've told my girlfriend but my girlfriend is overreacting by ignoring me.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Of course you should've told her. And you didn't BRIEFLY date your room mate, 3 years is a long term relationship. ######


Prompt: So I live with my girlfriend and her friend (also female) in a two bedroom apartment. Today while the gf's friend was at work I took a shower. When I got out, I came out to the living room without getting dressed and went to sit on the couch. My girlfriend got upset and asked me what I was doing. She insisted that I go put some pants on. I was confused but I did. When I got back out there I asked her what the problem was and she told me I was being disrespectful to her friend by sitting naked on the couch we all use. I was confused once again. I understand that if I was nasty and sweaty, but I was literally fresh out of the shower. Anyway, I told her that I wouldn't do it anymore but I didn't understand why it was disrespectful. Now she's mad that I don't understand. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Nudists apparently carry a towel. At minimum sit on a towel rather than putting your naked butt and genitals on things other people use too. ######


Prompt:
  So, I’ve been dating H for about six months and everything going great, though if I had to pick on thing to change it would be that she’s a pushover, and can’t say no to anyone. Still when we’re alone or around our friends everything is going really well. The biggest issue is her overly zealous mother, who she was forced to move back in with during the pandemic.

H’s mom doesn’t like me, doesn’t think I’m good enough for her daughter, but at the same time always sucks up to me, because my dad is prominent in our community, and she thinks I’m like her daughter’s golden ticket to money. I’m definitely a jokester, always the life of the party, and honestly a lot of people don’t like that about me.

So, this weekend restrictions eased up, and her uncle invited us over for a little family get together. The mom was sort of rude like she always is, but everyone was having fun. I should mention her mother is a very strict Christian, H went to Catholic school, and he mom actually used to volunteer with some debutante thing where they taught the girls “respectable” behavior, so not the most fun woman.

Anyway, I was teasing H, and she took a dab of frosting from a cupcake and smeared it on my face. She knows me well enough to know I’m competative, and kind of an ass. Now the face just seemed too obvious so I smeared the rest of my cupcake on her cleavage.

She sort of muttered something about I take stuff too far, but she was laughing, and then I saw her mother’s face. Her mother looked pissed, so I said let me get that babe, and licked some of it off. Now H is mad because she had to listen to her mother’s lecture and she said I need to learn to tone it down when I’m with her family, but she says she loves me for me and I was just being my asshole self. I think she needs to learn to stand up to her mom, so AITA for having a little food fight with my girlfriend? ######

Response: YTA. Now the mom has a real reason to dislike you if you felt it was unjust before. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday while I was taking it easy in the backyard with a beer, my son (17) standing by the backdoor and ask what’s for dinner, I didn’t feel like cooking anything. I had got a good price on Boston Butt, so I told him to take that.

Later I noticed that he hadn’t touched it, so I went to his room to ask him. He said that he made a hamburger and fries instead, when I asked why he didn’t reply, so I had to repeat myself. he quietly said “too bloody”.

That’s something he have kept saying ever since he needed five stitches a few years ago, I’m tired of him using that argument whenever he sees a little bit of blood, he even walk away on movie nights if it comes up in a scene. So I told him that he needs to stop using that argument, that the pig is already dead and won’t feel anything. Since he didn’t say anything I asked how long he is going to keep it up. He started to cry so I just left.

The thing is, I told some friends about it and they got angry at me, saying how insensitive I was. But he still eats meat, so I don’t see how he could get so upset about seeing a little bit of blood.

So, am I the asshole? Or do my son need to stop using that argument? ######

Response:
 YTA. Not everyone likes their meat bloody. Even if it did not stem from some traumatic experience with stitches, you should still respect that he prefers his meat cooked.
He made himself dinner. Didn't complain. Didn't criticize you for how you like your meat.
I mean..cmon. What's the problem here? Just let him be. ######


Prompt:
I am living overseas in a place that has the pandemic under control and want to return to the States having been offered my dream job, which I have worked 15 years to get. The problem is is that I am not willing to take my two small children (1 year and 3 years) with me. I do not mind risking my own health to travel to the States and work but I feel that bringing my children would be impossible right now- I do not have family that can care for them and I do not want to put them in daycare given the current situation. Their father has offered to take care of them during the pandemic so that I can take this job.

The problem is is that I feel like a shit mother if I leave my children behind. I have concerns about how fit their father is to care for them both full time without me there. He is a bit of a man-child (sorry, I know I am going to get burned for this) in the sense that I have to make all the decisions and do all of the cleaning and care giving for the children. He is content to have them eat dry cereal all day, every day and his interactions with the kids involves having them watch him play video games. I feel that if I do leave, even if it is only going to be for six months, they will not be properly cared for. My husband and I are on the verge of divorce over his parenting and other things - so much so that I had me and my childrens' plane tickets purchased to return to the states before the pandemic broke out.

AITA if I leave my children with their father for a short time to pursue my dreams? ######

Response:
 YTA. Not because you’re considering temporarily living away from your children for a job. That in and of itself would be a reasonable sacrifice to make to improve all your lives.

But YTA for considering leaving your children—who are far too young to even begin to care for themselves—with someone you know full well would neglect their emotional needs if not also their physical ones. ######


Prompt:
I have a 19Yo stepson and since me and my partner moved in together all he's been a nightmare. My step son is a drug dealer, he brings all sort of shady people to our house some of which are now incarcerated and he has been arrested himself. He's never had a job is his life but I still see large quantities of cash in his room as well as all the designer clothes he buys himself. He's been a bad influence on my 13yo daughter who is clearly impressed by the money he has.

Last year my daughter told me she wanted Air pods for Christmas, a present which I thought was way too expensive and not something a 12yo at the time needs to have. Last week my partner and son had to leave due to a family issue. My stepson called me to say he ordered a present for her birthday and had asked me to wrap it for him when it arrives and it was the pair Air Pods.

I already know it's paid for from his drug money and I didn't want to send my daughter the wrong message and because she's already impressed by his lifestyle and I certainly didn't want her to benefit from it as well so I just kept the gift in my room with the intention of giving it back to him when he returns.

She was already a little upset that he couldn't be there and now she currently thinks he couldn't be bothered to get her anything. Today he called me to ask if she was ok, probably wondering why he hasn't got a thanks and I explained to him that I didn't think she needed such an expensive gift when I asked how he got the money for £250 earphones he just ended the call, I haven't got the chance to speak to my partner about this yet. ######

Response:
 YTA. Not because you withhold the gift, that is ok for a 13yo. But you lied to your daughter, when she knows the truth, and she will, you will have a serious trust problem. All the negativ feelings she has, because she thinks her step-brother didn't care, will be tenfold centered on you. Also you stepson will never involve you again in his dealings with her. If you partner has a good relationship with his son, he will also be angry.

You could just have said you think it's to expensive for her, and she need to learn to save money. ######


Prompt:
So I (22F) decided to start an OnlyFans during quarantine and asked my boyfriend (22M) for his opinion. He said he would feel uncomfortable if I started one and that he didn’t want me to do it.

I asked him why and he said that he was allowed to feel uncomfortable about his girlfriend taking pics of her naked body for strangers. I told him it shouldn’t matter because he knows I love him and only him and if he feels weird about this he’s probably insecure about himself and trying to control me.

He called me an asshole and said he needed some time to himself.

AITA for defending myself about something I am legally allowed to do? ######

Response:
 YTA. No, your boyfriend doesn't get to tell you what to do with your body, but you asked for his opinion. He gave it - and he's correct that he's allowed to feel uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable doesn't make him an AH, it makes him human.

In response, you lashed out and insulted him in an attempt do devalue his opinion. This isn't about whether or not you're "allowed" to start an OnlyFans, it's about you responding to disrespect when your boyfriend expressed an opinion that you asked for but didn't agree with. ######


Prompt:
I (20M) have responded very well to this lockdown. I live in the UK.

I've tuned out all the news (blocked it all) and have isolated myself further from even calling friends. I've focused on myself and went deeper and deeper into the depths of my mind. I've underwent a voyage into my mind. An odyssey of sorts.

I'm mentally and emotionally growing. I'm figuring things out that would take years to figure. I've confronted the darkest corners of my mind, and came into the light.

My sister (22F) on the other hand has struggle because she can no longer party and meet up with friends. She started crying and I told her that she needs to confront her demons ans go deeper into her mind like I did. I then said "I'm grateful for the lockdown". She then call me AH and left.

Maybe I was AH idk? I just feel she Is wasting the opportunity to go deep into her mind like I did. I meditate 2 hours a day to go into my mind and see my worst memories... and I have come to the other side. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. No longer able to party? It actually sounds like she's lonely and isolated, and who knows what else is going on. It's great that you are able to benefit from this and spend a lot of time meditating, but not everyone is in a position to do that.

Responding to her crying by telling her that she just needs to meditate more is dismissive. How about comforting your crying family member and listening to her, instead of going on about yourself? ######


Prompt:
My 14 year old son decided a few days ago that he was going to uninstall Windows on his laptop and install another program called Linux on it instead. I told him that I didn't care either way as long as he can still do his schoolwork on it.

The very next day, our desktop computer as well as his dad's laptop both got infected with a virus, our Dropbox got hacked, and we lost a bunch of our important files. There are no computer repair shops open near us right now, so we became stuck using my daughter's laptop until they open again. I am fairly certain that this is a result of my son installing Linux on his computer, because this happened to *two* of our computers right about the same time he installed Linux on his. I told him this and took away his computer so that he can't do any more damage with it, but he got angry told me that this is impossible.

Today, I looked up online how to reinstall Windows on a computer, followed the instructions, and installed it onto his computer with a flash drive. Once I reached the stage where he needs to input his information, I gave the computer back to him, told him what I did, and told him to never install anything dangerous on his computer again. He completely freaked out, started crying, and said that all of his files and his schoolwork are now gone because I wiped his hard drive. I told him that he should have thought about that before infecting our other computers, and that he should have backed up his files.

I had to do this in order to protect our other computers, but I'm wondering if I should have told him ahead of time before I did it. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. No excuse in this day and age for an adult to be this tech-illiterate. You cost him tons of hours of schoolwork probably and chances are he’ll have a hard time convincing his teachers that his parents would actually do something so stupid simply because they managed to screw up their own computers, probably with questionable porn sites or other risky clicks. Maybe you should know what you’re doing next time before making ridiculous assumptions and wiping out tons of work. ######


Prompt:
I’m 17, and I have a foster sister (16) that’s been with us for around 8 months.

I’m cordial with my foster sister but we don’t really get along. When she first got here I caught her several times trying to wear my clothes, makeup, and trying to use other things that belong to me. We got into big arguments about it, and I feel as if my parents rewarded her by buying her her own stuff sometimes, while not getting new stuff for me.

Yesterday, my friend invited me and foster sister out to their family lake where we were going to hang out with some other friends. Some people in my friend group from school like foster sister, so they wanted her to come. I didn’t, because I find her annoying and I wanted a break from her. Since they messaged her with the invite, I told my parents to check out her messy room. My parents are pretty strict about that so I knew they wouldn’t let her go.

I sent her a text saying I’m sorry she couldn’t go and told her that I’d say hello to everyone. She posted a screenshot of it on her IG telling everyone that it was my fault she couldn’t go. A couple of my friends text me and asked me what my problem was, and others piped up about not letting me come either. Because everyone was getting mad at me, I posted pics that I took of her room, so that I could show the real reason that she couldn’t come.

She must have gotten embarrassed, because she came into my room and immediately started arguing with me.

My parents had to break it up, and she told them what I did. They wouldn’t let me leave either, which I think is completely unfair.

My mom is super mad at me and won’t listen to anything I have to say. I posted the pic because she was trying to make me look like the asshole in front of my friends. She knows my parents like the room kept clean, and if it was done she would have been able to go so I don’t think It’s my fault. My parents aren’t even talking to me, so if feel like maybe I did wrong.

AITA for posting the pic? ######

Response:
 YTA. My parents used to foster kids and I sometimes would get really annoyed with my foster siblings, too. But I never *bullied* them, which is what you are doing by trying to exclude her from hanging out with friends. I was half your age at the time and I still wasn't so childish as to do that.

You're almost legally an adult; time to start developing some empathy, FFS. ######


Prompt:
The title sounds bad but it isn't that bad.

So my daughter has this friend who has all the kids in her grade falling head over heels for. I thought it was an exaggeration but she's literally that girl in high school.

Now this friend posted a picture of the two of them on their 'friendship page' on her birthday yesterday. Everyone was just giving dozens of comments on the friend and said nothing about my daughter at all. I think there were only two who said happy birthday to my daughter. She was upset over this because she got non of the attention. She asked me if she was pretty.

As first I thought I should give the whole 'of course, you're so beautiful, these guys are just crazy' speech but I couldn't see any benefit from that so I gave it to her straight. When I told her she wasn't she was taken aback but when I explained she was much better. I said something around the lines that she doesn't have the looks but that doesn't matter. Told her she had an amazing personality and is just an amazing girl. I pointed out that she had the world's greatest eyes (might biased but it's true) and that her smile is contagious (which it is). Mentioned that I wasn't a looker when I was a teenager but my confidence got it me places. She was a bit quiet but she thanked me for it. We hugged and I left feeling like I gave the greatest parent speech ever.

However when I told my wife this she went mad. She says I was basically insinuating that she was ugly with the classic 'personality matters' speech. I still think I did great. Aita? ######

Response: YTA. My dad and I are extremely close and I remember SO many things he has mentioned over the years. I still remember all the times I would get ready for school thinking I looked so cute and he would come and point out my big zit or something. I say this because, as a 33 yr old, I STILL remember things my dad told me growing up. Guaranteed that your daughter is going to remember the moment her dad told her she wasn't "a looker." ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend likes to play this game "The Arcana". It's one of those corny visual novels where you get to romance characters. Earlier I had no problem with her playing the game but now she has gotten obsessed.

She plays the game whenever she gets time after working and doing housework, she only spends time with my at night and ignores me when I try to talk to her. She also CONSTANTLY sketches and draws the characters from the game but gives special preference to a character whom she admits looks a little like a guy she once had a crush on.

All of this got really on my nerves because I told her that she must stop playing the game because it makes me uncomfortable and I didn't like her playing it. She brushed me off and said she only played it for the "art" and "story" and "music". We all know that's not why women play games like these.

I got super irritated yesterday because the obsession had gotten worse and now she also started playing the music from the game on her guitar. So, I just took her phone and uninstalled the game from it yesterday morning

She didn't notice untill yesterday afternoon and when she discovered the app wasn't there anymore

She. Fucking. Flipped.

She was telling my how I had violated her privacy and how I was disgusting for being jealous of a fictional character. She hit me below the belt and said that she never minded if I said some character in one of my games was so hot. I told her that I wasn't obsessed like she was.

She isn't talking to me and is just being very bitchy because she didn't backup her progress and it's lost.
I think this proves that she was indeed obsessed with the game. ######

Response: YTA. Maybe she’s obsessed about the game because it offers a respite and an escape from your entitled, loutish behaviour ######


Prompt: Let me start off by saying that I love my parents and would do anything for them but yet on some level I blame them for me being born with autism, albanism, vision impairment, OCD & others. I know it’s not directly their fault as they didn’t take any tests to determine if I was normal however my mum had 9 miscarriages before me and I was born 1 month early and spent 3 months in the NICU. She is a diabetic and was told that having a baby could present complication to her and me. ######

Response: YTA. Mate, prenatal testing is mostly for fairly obvious issues such as Down syndrome and neural tube defects. There's no test to determine that a fetus is going to develop into a teen with OCD. ######


Prompt:
So daughter lives a few states away from us with her husband so we don’t see them too often. We are currently visiting for the week but things are rocky right now because of what I’m about to explain.

They like to use those Alexa devices. Before we arrived I told her I would not tolerate that she keep them out while we are here. She just told me “no” and said I’m being rude to demand that. I said I don’t care and they better be gone when we get there. I feel like she is extremely stupid and naive to think it’s safe to use those things. I don’t want my every word listened to.

Well of course we get there any she still has them out. so I did what I had to and when she or her husband weren’t looking I unplugged  them and tossed them in the trash. I feel like I’m justified because 1: she blankety disrespected my concerns and 2: she needed to learn this lesson at some point, she is stupid to own this stalkerish device, it listens to everything. Once she found out she got so pissed and told me I’m fucking insane. I told her she’s being stupid and naive and she disrespected me. Then she told me I’m being a hypocrite because I have a smartphone that listens to me all the time anyway and by my logic I should throw that away too. Uh yeah no, I don’t even use hey Siri and her mother doesn’t use google assistant. She is blatantly wrong about that. Then she demanded that I get them from the trash. I refused of course and now things are not good right now. She could’ve just put them away like I told her to but Instead she decided to ruin what could’ve been a good trip over a couple of stalking devices. Not just disrespectful but just plain stupid imo. She needs to learn yet refuses to do so. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Listen up: You don't walk into someone else's house and throw away their property. You talk about stupidity and disrespect, but you just showed up in her home and utterly disrespected them, and yet somehow don't see that you did so. Do you lack empathy?

You're acting like a child, and I wouldn't blame your daughter for cutting you out of her life. ######


Prompt: I’ve been FWB/best friends with this girl for 7 years, since we were 20. We’re monagomous, stay over at each other’s, emotionally support each other and definitely not the typical arrangement. She just graduated with a PHD and due to covid couldn’t really have a party so she was doing a dinner at her place. I’ve made it clear to her that we have no future together and she can’t really expect me to meet her family members and such. And since her parents were going to be there and I didn’t want awkward questions so I skipped it. She later called me sobbing saying that she feels like I use her and that I ruined her night. I kind of feel like a asshole, but I’ve told her before not to expect me to come to these sort of events. And we’re not really in a sort of commuted relationship so I feel like she can’t really expect me to be there for her all the time. I don’t really want to hurt her feelings any further but I also want to draw some boundaries. ######

Response: YTA. Let me get this straight. You've been monogamously FWBs with someone you call your best friend and you're asking if you're an AH because you didn't attend an important milestone in her life because you didn't want her to get the wrong idea? You guys are clearly not on the same page. End this arrangement because you're not being fair to her. You're neither her friend or her partner. ######


Prompt:
I own a small fashion line that I started myself and put all my energy into. Over the years I've become quite successful (not rich by any means but I'm able to support myself with solely my business).

Next to my website I also have an Instagram to advertise my clothes. When I only just started out and had a limited budget I usually worked with aspiring models to model my clothes. I didn't pay them as it was mutually beneficial; I got my models and they got a professional photoshoot with photos that they were allowed to put in their portfolio. I used to always tag the model in my Instagram posts as exposure was part of the deal.

However, as I became more successful I started to be able to pay the models a very fair price. Everything got more professional. I don't usually tag the model in the photos anymore as they get compensated for their time. I still mention them on my website or in the caption but less prominent.

Recently I launched a new collection. I worked with a model I had never worked with before. She got paid for her time but I didn't tag her in the photos only in the caption. This was all in the contract too. When I posted the photos she messaged me that I forgot to tag her. I replied that I didn't, explained the procedure again and referred to our contract. She got quite upset and said that she thought I was a down to earth business and that's why she chose to work with me, that she needed the exposure as she was only just starting out and that I had always tagged models in the past.

This got me thinking. She was quite inexperienced and new but she still gets exposure just not as prominent. But I paid her so that's her compensation instead of increased exposure.  I want my products to be the focus of the photos not the models.

But did I become too arrogant?

AITA for how I handle things? ######

Response: YTA. Legally you’re ok but morally I think this is wrong. Also this doesn’t seem like a smart business move but that’s your choice. If you tag them you get more exposure. When the models fans insta-stalk her tagged list they’ll see where they can buy the clothes and some will buy them. If people want to focus on your models they will, regardless of if you tell them who the models are so you’re only hurting yourself (but again that’s your choice) ######


Prompt:
Me (18M) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for a few months now. Before quarantine kicked in we lived together on the same floor at our university hall. The food there is catered, and both of us would always go for the vegan option. When I asked him if he was vegan too, he said he was, and we both kinda got really into it.

We were both in Facebook groups for vegans in our city that gave tips for cafés, recipes, etc. and a lot of the time he would fight with non-vegans online. He would get mad at people and talk about the rampant exploitation and torture of animal lives.

Safe to say, I was VERY surprised to find out than he was eating meat after we both went home for quarantine. He’s gone back to his childhood home and his parents refuse to cook vegan food. We were talking on FaceTime and I asked him why he doesn’t just buy vegan food for himself, and even offered to help pay for it if it was a money thing, but he was dismissive of it. I called him out for it by calling him a hypocrite for parading around his care for Animal Rights just to turn around and eat meat. He got mad at me and said he would go vegan again when quarantine was over, but for now, his situation is “easier”. He hung up shortly after.

I feel like he is still mad at me. Maybe quarantine has been wearing me down emotionally, but veganism is important to me and finding out it wasn’t as important to him as he presented himself to be... it feels like a betrayal. I don’t know if I should apologise or drop it fully or break up or what. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Leave him alone. Just because you are vegan, it doesn't mean that you can't go back for a time, and then go back to it. It is NOT an all or nothing FOREVER thing. It is a diet. Vegans like you give others bad names. ######


Prompt:
I have two daughters

Ella (22F)
Lauren (19F)

Ella and her boyfriend (26M) are living with me currently because they’re saving for a house so they’re living rent free, Ella works part time and goes university while Lauren doesn’t  work  and goes university.

Ella doesn’t really wear jewellery apart from a ring her boyfriend gave her for her 22nd in March, she spent all day bragging about the ring.

Lauren came to me crying a while ago because apparently she snuck into Ellas room and took the ring.

She told Ella initially that she left it at the friends but told me she lost it at the beach, I sat Ella down and told her what had happened and offered to replace it.

She refused told me she expected the full £860 from Lauren and she doesn’t care how long it takes Lauren to get the money, it just isn’t possible for Lauren to get that type of money especially just for a ring.

I told Ella no, she can consider it rent from both her and her boyfriend.

She broke down screaming and crying about what a fucking asshole I am and hasn’t left her room since.

My wife is on my side but MIL isn’t and has offered Ella her grandmothers ring which was meant to go to my wife.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Lauren stole a ring. It's clearly not about the ring to Ella or the money. It's about Lauren being made to take responsibility for stealing and then losing something that clearly meant a lot to her. Why does it matter if she bragged about it? She clearly loved her ring. It was something sentimental she got from her boyfriend.

You offering to pay for the ring is just enabling Lauren's shitty behaviour in the first place. Lauren should pay for the ring.

"Consider it rent" so something sentimental to her that was a gift you're now considering to be rent because you entitled younger daughter stole it and lost it? Wtf?! There's some clear favouritism going on here.

Good for your MIL for offering her a ring. Now your wife knows what it feels like to have something sentimental taken away from her, the only difference here is Ella didn't steal it.

Edited to add: wow, thank you all so much for the awards. ######


Prompt:
Basically my son (6) starts school next year and I will be paying quite large sum annually ($25k-$28k) for a private school.

Now the thing is my wife’s daughter (9) is in a public school.

And my wife is pissed that I’m signing my son in a prestigious school while her daughter isn’t.

Btw our finances are separate so I pay for the bills 95% of the time and the payment for my child’s education is 100% out of my pocket

Am I being an asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA. Just the way you're saying "my wife's daughter" and not "my step daughter" makes you TA. You're telling that little girl she isn't as special as your son.
Sure, your finances are separate but you're complaining about paying 95% of the bills and then using the rest of your money to send your son to fancy school and telling your STEPDAUGHTER to hoof it to public school because you don't feel like paying for her education.
If you didn't want to care for her child, you shouldn't have married her.

Edit: Jesus, you're spending an entry level salary for a six year old to go to school. And then complaining because you don't want to pay for his sister to do the same so that right there says you DGAF about her. YTA. ######


Prompt:
Me and my ex were together for 5 years and we broke up 3 years ago. It was a really abrupt end to the relationship and I didnt see it coming. I didn't get to say good bye to her family etc and I never really received any closure. Pretty much a month after we broke up I was in a bit of a mess and I started dating, my now wife who I am very much in love with. Shes super chilled out and really understands me but I still feel I never really 100% let go of my ex and still think about her frequently.

6 months ago me and my ex had twins, and like I said is very laid back and let me pick the names. I originally wanted to pick my ex girlfriend and her brothers names but I thought it would be too obvious so I picked her father and mothers names instead. They were both great people to me when I was in their lives and I think it was quite therapeutic to still sort of have them in my life.

Everything was fine until about 6 months ago, my wife put some pics up of me and our kids and a mutual friend of me and my ex pm'd me asking why the kids names were the same as my ex's parents. I panicked and blocked him, he then insta messaged me asking why I blocked him and that its super creepy to name his kids after my ex's parents. I told him its a coincidence and my wife chose the names but I am worried now he is going to inbox my wife and ruin everything for me. WIBTA if I told my wife preemptively that its coincidental and made it into a bit of a joke or just say its a coincidence? ######

Response: YTA. Just own up to it. First, it is disrespectful to want to name your children ur ex’s name (WHAT) and settling on her parents’ name (DOUBLE WHAT?!). And now you want to lie to her about it? God, you are walking all over your wife and I feel super bad for her. Be honest and face the music. ######


Prompt:
Last night my girlfriend accidentally dropped her laptop down the stairs (our dog kind of jumped at her while she was going up). It still turns on but the only thing connecting the screen a keyboard are a couple wires and the screen is showing all those weird colors. Anyways she was freaking out about it and I helped get the hard drive out and connect it to my laptop. Luckily her documents were saved and I managed to transfer it onto her Ipad.

This morning she woke me up to ask if she could just access a few more documents through my laptop and I said cool. An hour or so later, I get up and see her typing up her assignment on my laptop on the couch. She said it would be easier since I don't even use it much right now.

Now my girlfriend isn't the most responsible person when it comes to taking care of things so I asked to rather use her Ipad and she was upset. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Just let the woman finish her work. ######


Prompt:
Dating for 5 and a half years, living together for 2.

My girlfriend and I both work. I work a standard 9-5 mon-fri while she works 3 days a week, around 45 hours and studies from home for the moment due to the pandemic. So she's home 4 days a week, so obviously she cooks dinner. What's driving me nuts is that she won't cook meat.

If I say I want curry for dinner, she'll make a vegetable and tofu curry. Pasta? All vegetables. And before you ask, she's not vegetarian. She just doesn't like touching meat and wants to be more "sustainable" (she drives a car) and tells me that if I want meat I need to cook it myself. Wtf?? I work 5 days a week. The way I see it is that whoever is staying home all day should cook dinners. Why should I work 8 hours just to come home and cook? All my colleagues bring in leftovers of spaghetti and meatballs or beef stew and I get fried rice and orange tofu, and when my colleagues see they ask when I'm going to grow my man titties because soy is full of women hormones or whatever. I'm sick of it.

AITA?

TLDR: Gf won't cook meat. I want steak. ######

Response:
 YTA. Just because you work 5 days doesn’t mean you can’t cook. Most people work and cook. Also, your coworkers are assholes.

Edit for your edit: No need to thank Reddit when you are the one posting here ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my niece uses Reddit.

I (45f) recently saw my niece (24f) for the first time in almost a year at a small, outdoor family get together for the 4th of July. We’re all very proud of her as she finished her bachelor’s, works full time at a job she loves, lives alone and supports herself independently and is putting herself through graduate school. I don’t drink but most of our family, including my niece, had been drinking throughout the day.

I overheard her talking about drug use with my sister (her aunt) and joined the conversation. I’m not sure how they got on the subject, but apparently my niece had a problem with painkillers when she was in high school, bad enough to the point that she almost overdosed and asked to get treatment. I was irritated that her mom never mentioned this. She assured us that it was circumstantial, she was coping poorly with a lot in her life at the time and she hasn’t touched drugs since she started mental health treatment and went to an “outpatient treatment program” (that’s her nice word for rehab) in high school.

I found this odd and alarming as she was clearly drunk and if she was truly addicted and had a problem, she shouldn’t be drinking. Her mom wasn’t at the gathering so I called her after we left. I was very shocked as my niece has always had a good reputation and seemed to be doing well before all this. I was hurt that she felt the need to hide it for this long and concerned about her drinking. I told her mom about the conversation and suggested she may still have a problem. My niece thinks I’m an AH for “telling on her to her mom” when she’s an adult instead of bringing my concerns to her directly. However, I know addiction pretty well and I know if I confronted her she’d deny she has a problem.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. Just because she's your niece doesn't mean you're suddenly entitled to every piece of information like her pill popping, and there's a difference between being addicted to pills and having an addictive personality. Just having a past with addiction doesn't suddenly mean you'll be addicted to any substance under the sun, I've dealt with substance addiction myself but still remained a social drinker. Her drinking didn't raise any addiction flags before, yet now they do once you found out about an addiction she's already went to rehab for?

Also yeah, addicts deny they have a problem. You know who else denies they have a problem? People who don't actually have a problem. If you are wrong about her possibly becoming addicted to alcohol, you realize her mom is gonna confront her about it, your niece will say she's not, and her mom will literally take it no other way than her lying right? You've pretty much lampooned her into being forced into dealing with a problem that may or may not exist when you should have confirmed it existed before taking any action.

If there is something to suggest she suddenly relapsed or is developing a new addiction, then you haven't put it in your OP, and from just reading this it kind of seems like either being petty from not being told, or an overreaction out of fear.

Edit: OP your edit doesn't make ANY sense. The fact that alcoholism might be in the family doesn't excuse anything considering the fact that you only suddenly had a problem AFTER you found out about the past pill addiction. If that was really your justification, why the hell are you only NOW bringing this up? That's not a good excuse OP. Also a parent having had alcoholism doesn't suddenly mean the child would, so it baffles the mind that you'd make that connection despite no evidence of alcoholism in your niece. Like I mentioned before I had a substance abuse problem in the past yet was a social drinker, despite the fact that I have a parent who has dealt with alcoholism. Don't try to justify it anymore OP, you fucked up, own it and apologize to your niece. ######


Prompt:
My(56M) first marriage ended 6 months after the death of our son (then 16) because my ex wife became a zombie who refused to move on in any shape or form.

Now, two years later, I have a one and a half year old daughter with my wife (33). I can’t spend enough time with her and she and her mother two of the greatest joys of my life.

My daughter from my first marriage is 15 now, and has been getting in trouble in school and with local authorities ever since the divorce.

My ex wife finally took her to a therapist who referred her to bereavement counseling. My ex then calls for the first time in about a year and says I needs to be there.

The problem was, these are family therapy sessions and it would mean the frustrating experience of dealing with my ex’s emotions and her inability to let go of someone who’s gone forever.

I tell my wife about it, and she says that she wasn’t comfortable with me being in such close quarters with my ex and that my toddler needed me.

I was already feeling guilty that I sometimes miss moments like when my kid spoke her first word, and I don’t want to upset her mother even more.

So I called my daughter personally and said I couldn’t come. Since then, she’s blocked me on Facebook. Today, I get a call from a friend of my ex wife who told me she was arrested for public intoxication and underage drinking. She also blames me,even though my daughter was destructive when I was still married to her mother.

AITA? I just don’t want to mess up my second chance at happiness. I also resent how all of my daughter’s problems are written off as “ dad’s fault.” ######

Response:
 YTA. Jfc. Aside from all the red flags like your wife not being ‘over’ her son’s death within 6 months and you prioritising your new wife’s jealousy over your daughter’s needs you are also being so insensitive to your daughter. She dealt with the loss of her brother and the divorce of her parents in 6 months and also a new stepmum (who clearly doesn’t care about her) and baby within 2 years - no wonder she is acting out. You can’t even be bothered to be there for her????

Also, very interesting that your marriage ended 2 years ago and you have an 18month baby - there are 3 months unaccounted for there so there was likely infidelity and betrayal to come to terms with too.

You are a HUGE asshole. ######


Prompt: To start it off, I  (39 M) work as an online art critic, and it truly is the love of my life. I have always been incredibly fascinated by art and it's many, many forms. My daughter (11 F) has taken notice of this recently and had put a LOT of dedication in to becoming a good artist. However, the results... were not the best. Whenever she showed a painting/picture to me I tried my best to say it was good, but I just hate lying. I finally broke when she showed a pencil sketch of my face. I basically critiqued it as I would an online piece. I noted how the eyes were too slim, the nose too small, the mole on the wrong side of my face, but that the hair was a good start. My daughter heard this and ran off in tears. About an hour later my wife comes in pretty angry. She basically says that my daughter is trying to connect with me and it is discusting how I treated her. I still feel like I'm in the right because apparently my daughter can't take constructive criticism, and I am just trying to be honest with her.                   AITA ######

Response: YTA. Jesus dude. You did that to an ELEVEN year old? She isn't a professional, she's a child. It's one thing to give her some tips and help her get better. It's another to absolutely devastate her because she (AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD) isn't a master able to showcase her work in a gallery. You need to apologize. Now. ######


Prompt:
I live with my BF, who shares custody of his 9 year old twins. With the pandemic hitting our state hard, he is not exchanging custody with his ex as often.  To help with them missing their mom, he installed a video chat program on their tablets so they can chat with her without needed him to help.

I requested that the kids only chat in their room, and that they only take pictures in their room. My reasoning is that it invasion of privacy to have someone I don’t know (I’ve only met her a couple of times and each time was very brief) getting pictures of the inside of the house – especially without my knowledge. Second, I am an artist and have pieces of my work on the walls. I don’t like the thought of some of my unfinished pieces being photographed. Third, I am working from home these days and would like to be able to walk around in my pajamas before I shower for the day without having to worry about being in the background of a photo.

I have no problem with them being on video in their rooms, or sending any photo they want from their room.  That is their space to share.

First day, one of the kids took a picture of the living room/dining room and sent it to his mom. I got very mad and insisted bf have a talk with him. He clearly thought I am being unreasonable and asked me how to explain to the kids why they can’t take photos in the house. I said that they need to learn boundaries, even if they don’t understand or agree with why.  Am I being unreasonable? ######

Response: YTA. Its their home too and they can talk to their mom wherever they like. They are 9. ######