Prompt:
My fiance and I were planning to get married this year anyway. We obviously can't do a "full" wedding, but we need to legally marry now for legal reasons and health insurance. In my area, weddings can only have a maximum of 15 people, and that includes the officiant, the bride and groom, and any vendors they have.

So with just the bare minimum (us, officiant, and a photographer), we can only have 11 guests. My fiance has his parents, and 5 siblings, all of whom live in the state and are close. I have my parents, who are divorced and remarried, and two siblings.

Including the stepparents, we have 17 people total, which is 2 over the limit. We have to clip by two people. Bio parents can't be cut. Siblings are all close and we can't just cut siblings out without an even worse fallout. So that leaves the new(er) spouses. I like them both and the relationship is good, but they're the closest to "extra" people that we can cut from this wedding (I know this sounds horrible).

My stepmother is furious, says I don't respect her or any marriage, and that it's horribly wrong to split up a married couple no matter what the circumstance. My stepfather is sad but understands that I can't really control the situation.

Not marrying now isn't practical advice. We can't just "bend the rules" and have them, because the police will give us a heavy fine, and we will be forced to completely disperse. I'm willing to come take pictures with them later, they just can't come to the actual wedding. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but is there a way they can participate without physically attending the ceremony, like if it was live streamed for them? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I are new homeowners and moved into our first home a little less than a year ago.

We’ve had a rocky relationship with one of our neighbors from the start, an older couple— the husband is pretty chill and kind to us but the wife has been confrontational and made sure when we moved in that we knew exactly where our property ends and theirs begins. We’re in a city and our lots are about 2000 sqft each so we’re talking a matter of inches that she does not want us crossing. When we moved in, other neighbors on the street welcomed us and also warned us about her attitude and nastiness. Basically the point being that honestly I am intimidated by my neighbors and do not want to confront them directly.

They have a fire pit in their backyard that is roughly 20 feet from our house. The weather has been getting nicer so they have been using it for recreational use— just to have a fire going while sitting outside and chatting. Naturally being so close, the smoke comes right into our home so we can’t open windows and we can’t be outside in our own yard without being covered in smoke. It has even set off the smoke detectors in our house if any window is opened a crack.

I checked our local laws and any fire pits require a permit and must be 75 ft away from any structure (which is impossible considering the size of our houses and our small yards), and can only be operated from January to May 1st.

I called the fire department yesterday (anonymously) and within 5 minutes they were there and it was put out. I plan to call the fire department whenever their smoke gets into our house/yard. According to local laws they will probably be fined and prohibited from having it entirely if there are multiple complaints.

WIBTA for calling the fire department as many times as necessary to get my neighbors’ recreational fire pit shut down? ######

Response: NTA, but in all likelihood if they've been doing this for years and not gotten reported, and you moved in and they suddenly were, they know it was you. That's not a reason not to do it - it's not allowed because it's a safety issue. Just be cautious, because if she's that nasty, she'll find a way to retaliate. ######


Prompt: My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ######

Response: NTA, but if your wife put her name on the account she is responsible for it. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

I have a 14 year old son. My son has a close friends group. Lately I found out that my son was bullying a lesbian girl. I grounded him the day I found out. My son tried to tell me the lesbian girl was bothering and trying to join his friend group and no one in his group wanted to be friends with her. They tried telling a teacher that the girl was bothering them and the teacher thought the girl was doing something nice. Then my son and his friends group started calling her names and started making fun off her. I think that was a stupid excuse. My son is extremely pissed at me and refuses to talk to me after he was grounded. ######

Response: NTA, but if the outcome you want is for your son to stop being homophobic, you're going to need to have an open conversation with him about what's going on. It may be that this chick sucks separately from being a lesbian, but that they used lesbian slurs as a way to get back at her, which isn't okay. If someone sucks, tell them they suck, don't call them a d\*ke. But if they genuinely don't want to be friends with this girl, for whatever reason, you can't force it. You can only teach him to empathize and be kind when rejecting someone's offers of friendship. ######


Prompt:
So I’m 17 (turning 18 in May) and my sister is 16. There’s been a thing in my family where they pass down a cute little ring to the oldest daughter in the family when they turn 18, so I’m about to get it from my mom soon. My little sister has taken a strong liking towards the ring (she has seen it a couple of times) and so for the past few months, she’s been in a bad mood and basically throwing tantrums over how she can’t get the ring because she’s not the oldest.

For example, she has talked to my mom numerous times about how it’s unfair that the daughter who wants the ring the most can’t get it if she’s not the oldest, how her high grades should justify her getting it, and other excuses like that.

She has also came to me plenty of times trying to convince me to give the ring to her instead because she really wants it, even though I’ve said no.

She has brought it up so many times that my parents told her that they’d buy her a necklace (which has a similar color and shimmer to the ring), but she still wasn’t having it.

Last night at dinner, she started complaining about the ring again. I really lost my cool and said “shut the fuck up, nobody cares about how much you want the ring. It’s mine and you’ll never get it so you need to live with that”. I also told her that the way she was acting was sad and I wasn’t even sure that the necklace she was going to get would fix her childish-ness. It was kind of awkward and my parents berated me for my language, but was I in the wrong? ######

Response: NTA, But if really should have come from your parents.  It is your families tradition and all your mother has to do is put her foot down and stop the conversation. ######


Prompt:
I work from home permanently. Since my 2 year old's daycare is shut down until further notice, she's been at home with me all every day while I've been working full time from home with a full plate. My sister, thankfully, has been able to take her 3 days a week starting last week, but that's still 2 days of work that I'm juggling a very active toddler with a full work load as a single mom with full custody.

I''m an account manager for restaurant audit servicing companies, and my project load has been cut down to almost nothing.  I'm literally pulling projects out of thin air to stay busy. My boss emailed me on Thusday a few weeks ago at midnight, asking what I had gotten done that week. I gave him a list, told him that Wednesday was a tough day for my daughter, and she was home with me, so I didn't get much done. He thanked me for my honesty but docked me half a day of pay. He owns the company so there's not much I can do.

That was enough to motivate me to do the bare minimum and start networking to secure a new job once this is over. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I was incredibly transparent about having my daughter home with me during this time, and they assured me it wouldn't be an issue. I have always put in extra hours, helped on projects that I'm not involved in, helped find solutions to issues that needed to be solved ASAP. Now I'm just not interested in doing anything for them. ######

Response:
 NTA, but I’d be careful about transparency moving forward right now. Not that you should lie, but I’d definitely emphasize the extra work, initiatives and projects you’ve taken on. Not just so you don’t get docked pay, but so you’re not on the chopping block should push come to shove and your boss has to make cuts. Most companies except the obvious ones (grocery stores, Amazon, etc) have hiring freezes right now so getting let go and then getting another job in your industry using your skill set is likely going to be hard for a good while.

Your boss sucks though, just so I’m totally clear on that point. Asking you what you’ve been doing points to a boss that isn’t aware or in the loop, and instead of docking your pay, he could’ve come up with projects for you, guidance, etc. ######


Prompt:
I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped.

Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######

Response: NTA, but I'm wondering if he has hyperthyroidism. My boyfriend's brothers ex did the same exact thing. She'd come to bed carrying an arm load of snacks to get her through the night. Could be something to consider checking if there's a medical cause for his constant night time eating. ######


Prompt:
Well, this is a long one, but I'll try to make it short. I and my family are dog breeders ( Akita inu) and because of this, we have met many people, who do the same thing or just loves animals all together.

My parents have been doing this for 25+ years, and have made plenty of friends, but one always stuck out. My mom has known her for around 10 years or so. I'll call her friend E.

E is a proper hippie (antivaxx, 5g will kill you , you get the deal) she lives in a huge farm , without running water or electricity ( she willingly chose this)

At first she had 6 akitas, they were all healthy and beautiful, but as the time went on she started to rescue animals.  She was telling everyone who was listening how good she is to them, how she uses better methods with them than everyone else and how we should learn from her.

She adopted two parrots from an old lady, they were killed by her cat.

She adopted 10+ stray dogs, who are fighting constantly

She adopted a baby deer, because it was sick, and needed feeding, she left her in the garden and THE DOGS ATE the poor thing.

She had 3 litters despite knowing there was parvo virus in her land and around 20+ puppies died.

The list is endless, you probably get the deal.

Well, today she called us crying, that she forgot to lock her front gate, one of her older akitas, who she loved dearly ran away, and was hit by a car, she died. And I lost it.

I raised my voice tbh. at her , how she is the worst of all pet owners I've ever known in my life, and more animals have died by her hand, than she has saved.

Well, she started crying even more and hung up. My parents want me to apologize to het, but to be honest I feel like I was telling the truth.

So Reddit, was I the asshole here and should I apologize? ######

Response: NTA, but I'm surprised you didn't speak up before now. 20 dead puppies is a *lot*. Regardless, it's completely justified to read her the riot act over this; it's a pattern of awful behaviour. ######


Prompt:
Now before I get attacked or anything please let me clarify.

I (19F) moved in with my Ex (19M) a year and a half ago, and while I had been living there it was like hell on earth, I was Verbally, Mentally abused by his parents on an almost weekly basis, and when they were not attacking me, they were attacking their own children and eachother.

I got a job and worked full time, over forty hours a week but whenever I dared to spend the money I worked and earned on myself, even if it was just lunch at work I was called many vile names. All the money that I worked for went to his parents, but I was lied to about where it was going.

I was told it was grocery money but there wouldn't be groceries bought, so it went to drugs. My evidence of this is his father borrowed his phone and forgot to delete a text to a random number asking for a "Quarter Ball" which is a measurement for Cocaine.

my playstation that I had begged my parents for for years that I finally had gotten the christmas before I moved out (moved out in Feb 2019) got pawned a week after I moved in and then got lost in the pawnshop but I was never told, but after months of asking to get it back and saying I'd even pay for it I found out it had been lost.

Or when I found out my grandmother was dying I took a day off of work because I was grieving and was called a whore and a cunt and told I was fucking them over.

Now that I have luckily managed to get myself out of that situation I can see how fucked up it is, but the issue is there is a minor there, who is being mentally abused by her parents on an almost daily basis.

Would I be the asshole if I called the cops for a wellness check, because I could honestly keep going on all shit things I heard and experienced living in that house but it would be an 5000+ word essay. ######

Response: NTA, but I wouldn't claim it's a wellness check, it's more like you're reporting abuse. If this is true, please report any child abuse to the cops and give them as much info as you possibly can. Any action is better than no action. ######


Prompt:
We were casually chatting yesterday and he brought up that he was looking at the /gonewild subs. I personally am okay with looking at porn and the general /gonewild subs, but when he was looking at specifically the Asian subs I feel extremely uncomfortable. Something about the intimacy (as opposed to porn) and the resemblance to my own body threw me off.

I do send him nudes whenever he asks for them and I feel bad knowing he’s jerking off to women who look so much like me.. but not me.

I don’t think it’s an body-insecurity thing either, i look pretty much like the more toned girls on the sub. So redditers- AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but I would be careful. I am an Asian woman who used to date a guy that primarily “preferred” Asian porn. I watch a lot of porn too so the porn wasn’t really the issue. After being together for 3+ years I finally started to notice how he showed signs of having yellow fever. I finally broke up with him for many other reasons but the yellow fever always made me hugely uncomfortable and fetishized. After many many educational and respectful talks he could never understand why his behavior and comments that focused on my race as his primary source of attraction to me made me feel objectified. Not to mention the racism started to come out towards the end too. I would just be careful as his porn preference was such a huge indicator that he was a toxic fetishizer. ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker who is not pregnant and is always gloating about how physically fit she is. However ever since she started 2 years ago has been parking in the expecting mothers parking spots. One time taking the last space from me while I was pregnant and on a walking distance restriction. Today after I parked in the normal spots (my baby is 4 months now yay!) I saw her park in the spots again and it made me irrationally angry. Would I be the asshole if I called her out and asked her "so, how many years pregnant are you?"

She has NO restrictions and HR has done nothing about it and has been told by multiple people. ######

Response: NTA, but I would ask how many months instead of years and come off as if you genuinely believe she's pregnant. Congratulate her even and say you'll inform the office to plan a party. When she corrects you that she's not pregnant, show your genuine confusion as to why she's parking in those spots. Do that every day and surely she'll be annoyed enough to stop ######


Prompt:
We are both 25. I'm a fat guy,  I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more.

I wear a 38" waist in jeans and an XL/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me.

She bought me jeans in a 28" waist and tops in a medium.

She told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me.

I mentioned once to her that when I was around 16/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.

She never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me "happy birthday you fat fuck" lol..

I think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway.

Our sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her.

I tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me.

Am i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ######

Response: NTA, but I think you need to discuss this. This is NOT A GIFT. It's a really terrible thing as a "gift" and I think you should be done here. And, leave the clothes for the guy she thinks she bought them for. ######


Prompt:
(24M)

Yesterday afternoon, a new neighbour in our flat knocked on our door. It was a young woman and she asked if we had any sugar at home she could borrow to use for her baby's milk for the day, since she can't go out to buy any and her husband is working.

I told her that I had some sugar left, but it's only enough for the apple pie I was planning to make that evening. She said that she really needs it since her 2 year old baby refuses anything else to eat, and that it would be a kind gesture if I could give up my apple pie for another day.

I kindly refused and I mentioned that if she really needs it, I can go out and buy it for her **(I meant with her money)** but I'm not looking to give my sugar away.

She wasn't happy and sarcastically thanked me as she was leaving. I just closed the door and continued about my day.

I'm always one to doubt my previous actions and I question myself as to whether I was right or wrong, so I told my parents.....and they told me I was selfish for not helping someone out and that they expected better from me as a gentleman.

I'm here for judgement. Was I selfish? Was I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I think it would've been easier to just say "sorry, I don't have any extra sugar". She didn't need to know about your pie or your plans for sugar.

Also, where do you live that people feed babies sugar milk? That seems whack to me ######


Prompt:
I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back.

Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair.

Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media.

This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######

Response:
 NTA, but I keep a few pictures of "degloved" penises to send them. Very NSFL, Google at your own risk.

Edit to add: If they ask why you would send that say "Sorry, I thought we were trying to gross each other out" ######


Prompt:
Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects.

I normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).

We were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.

Before the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.

Turned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.

She was and is still angry at me for my "shitty suggestion", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I just wanted to say that I do the same thing. My Dr diagnosed me as having an eating disorder. She calls it binging and restricting.

I now fast intermittently. If I know I’m going out for a big dinner I’ll skip breakfast and lunch, but just for that day. Most day’s I’ll only eat between the hours of 12pm and 5pm. ######


Prompt:
So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.

Anyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.

We laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are "bullying" the kids. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but I have to admit, I don't much care for your assessment that blended families always suck. ######


Prompt: So my friend is hyper obsessed with his appearance. Gym 5x a week. Strict diet. He dresses well. And he expects someone who meets this standard. So far so good right? Well he also wants someone who is pretty. Really pretty. He always decides he wants the most attractive girl at the bar. He always asked out 10/10s in college(we aren’t in college anymore but when we were he’d always do that). Here’s the thing: he’s under the impression that he’s a model. He’s not, he’s in his 20s and balding, he’s 5’5”. His face really isn’t all that... shall we say “conventionally attractive”? Point is, he’s done what he can with his appearance but he’ll never be a stud. He’s had one girlfriend in his life but refuses to change to get more girlfriends more often. Now he’s saying some incel stuff like “woman are all [fill in the blank]” and on some level I understand after years of rejection he might be bitter. But that’s no excuse to be sexist, especially when he refuses to acknowledge that his “type” is extra picky. Guess what a 10/10 will want another 10/10. When you’re that pretty you get to say “too short too fat too this too that”. He doesn’t want to date girls with unconventional faces or different body types besides fit. I set him up with my girlfriend’s friend. He ghosted her. He said she wasn’t as pretty as my girlfriend so why would he settle for silver. I got angry at him but we made up after he said that. My patience is wearing thin and I just want to explain that he’s not going to ever get models in bed every day and life is unfair but he should focus on aspects of a girl he can get like her personality or her interests. Would I be the asshole if I told him to be realistic with his standards? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I dont think telling him to lower his standards is the answer. It may be important to call him out saying he has unrealistic standards, but I think more so he needs to be called out on the fact that he isnt entitled to anything and women dont owe him anything. If he's getting rejected all the time, it's something about him, not the women.

If he's not going to respect women, is going to focus purely on appearance (though I get that you're attracted to what you're attracted to), and is going to basically look at them as objects/a prize to be won/etc, of course he's not going to be in a relationship because no one is going to tolerate his bullshit.

As a society we really need to teach the idea that romantic relationships are not necessary and that it's important to learn to be happy outside of romantic partnerships. Like - it's okay to want that, but the fact that so many people think they need to be in a relationship contributes to the number of unhealthy and unhappy relationships ######


Prompt:
My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up.

Most of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.

She doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.

The thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######

Response: Nta, but I don't think there's much you cam do to change the situation. She sounds like she needs therapy. You quite literally are not qualified to help her ######


Prompt:
 I have a 16 year old daughter, who has recently begun her first real relationship. He’s a nice boy and I like him a lot, though I get the impression his family is much more conservative than I am. His parents wanted to meet my husband and I so we had them over for dinner last night and I did get some judgy vibes from the mother at least. My daughter is not my husband’s child. We went on vacation once with my former best friend and after a night of drinking we decided to switch partners. My husband had a vasectomy before I met him, so when I got pregnant I knew who the father was.

My daughter does know her bio dad, but he choses not to be a big part of her life. She has a great relationship with my husband, but she calls him by his first name. He never wanted kids and I was afraid he’d leave me, so out compromise was that I don’t ever expect him to be a real parent to her. I’m just glad they bonded. It’s a little unconventional, but we’re all happy.

Anyway dinner was going alright, but I mentioned something about how the pandemic had forced us to cancel our plans for our twentieth anniversary, and I didn’t think of it at the time, but obviously they did the math and the mother asked me about it, so I was honest. She looked very uncomfortable, but I guess a lot of people would be, and then she asked how I could say it in front of my daughter. I asked if I was supposed to lie to her, and the woman said she didn’t understand how I could be so upfront about cheating on my husband. That really pissed me off, because obviously I didn’t cheat so I told her to get out.

My daughter is mad at me, because she’s 16 and everything I do is mortifying, and because she is worried about her relationship, but I tried to explain it nicely to this woman. Also I feel like I’m not an asshole because she shouldn’t have asked in the first place, but I’ll let you decide. ######

Response:
 NTA, but I am confused:
>our twentieth anniversary

Your daughter is 16, so what prompted asking the mother asking about the daughter's paternity? Did the mother know about the vasectomy? ######


Prompt:
This is my friend's account btw for obvious reasons.
My little sis (10) is usually forced to go to birthday parties she doesn't want to when she's invited. She can be selectively social & only likes hanging out with some kids she likes.

My mom (43) was invited to an event where a bunch of moms from my sister's school gather & gossip, play games, dance, etc. Kids were also invited & there were not going to be the few bffs that my sis hangs out with. She knew she had to go as mom was going to take her anyway and worked up a little bit of an excitement.

However, my mom started picking out her clothes for her and told her she was wearing a green turtle neck that she knows she hates. My mom loves that top on her & even when she protested, my mom told her she was wearing it and it was final. My sister screamed & cried as she didn't want to wear it and thought she looked ugly in it. She ended up wearing it and cried the whole way there.

4 months have passed and this came up in a conversation today. My mom was talking about how my sis doesn't listen to anything she says and I told her she could f*ck off. I had seen my sis that day scrubbing her face that day trying to not feel/look like sh*t to make up for the hideous top.

My parents call a family meeting and told me I was being disrespectful as a daughter (I'm 21 btw) and I should apologise to my mom for my behaviour. AITA here & should I cave? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I am biased and love how protective you are about your sister.
There's a bigger problem at hand: your mom forcing her to be social when that's not her personality. It's going to continue to create strife, and you need to approach your mom *calmly* to address it with her (after checking with your sister). Otherwise, it'll strain their relationship long term. ######


Prompt:
Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I’m about ready to jump out of this relationship but for the sake of my sanity I want to ask on here so I know if I’m truly the arsehole or not.

My girlfriend has a 14 year old son. I try hard to foster a good relationship with him especially because my old man was nowhere to be seen when I was growing up. He is usually disrespectful to me and plays up the fact that I’m with his mum but am not his father.

By all rights everyone in her family (mum / dad etc) has acknowledged her son needs a councillor and help because his behaviour is THAT obvious (more so in front of other people he’s rude to me) but she has always maintained I need to ‘deal’ with her sons attitude to me because ‘he just wants to feel like he’s got control’. I tried hard to overlook the disrespect and maintain good ties but it’s getting harder and harder as her son gets older.

Girlfriend and I went out into my garden for a fag. Girlfriends son decided to barge past and start breaking the shed in my garden. Why, I have no fucking idea. He says he was bored. I told him to stop being a twit. He looked at me, smirked, said you’re not my dad and you can’t tell me what to do.

I looked over at my girlfriend since he normally saves that line for when she’s not around and she simply ignored him.

I snapped at her to sort her son out since I’m not his dad and went inside. I’ve just had enough. She came in raging and screaming that I need an attitude adjustment and that Im a total cunt. ######

Response: NTA, but I also think you need to jump ship. If your girlfriend won’t react when her son acts this way towards you now, chances are that will never change. ######


Prompt: So my baby bro(15) recently told me that he wants to come out to the parents and I immediately shut him down for it. Our neighborhood and family is strictly conservative and I know for a fact that his ass is getting disowned and kicked out if he does. Our country's childcare system is so messed up that it would be safer for someone to stay with their abusive parents than to be handed over to the state and I just barely started University so there's no way I can financially support him by myself. I know it must be hard for him to keep it to himself and a few close people but I just can't let him come out to my parents while still being so heavily dependent on them. Advice on any other way that I could handle this (if there is)would be much appreciated. ######

Response: NTA, but how long till he moves out? You should help him form a plan, and teach him to be careful of who to trust. ######


Prompt:
Me and my Bf been together for 4 years we have our own place but the funny thing is 2 of his friends are roommates who live right next to us. My sister came by last week so I could watch my niece (7 months) while she went to work but my Bf came out the room in nothing but his underwear my sister was rightly embarrassed and left quickly I told him that he can't do that and he should at least wear pants and doesn't have to wear a shirt. He told me he refused to be uncomfortable in his own house. I tried to talk it out but he brushed it for fine. His friends come over in the living room just talk I come out the room with the tighest shirt i own and his favorite pair of panties he likes me to wear and fix a PP & J sandwich (you can still see the kitchen from the living room) I can feel the death glare in the back of my hard and walked back to our room. After that he sent to boys home and hell broke lose

AITA?? ######

Response: NTA, but how does underwear work when you need a fucking pickup truck to cart around your balls of steel? ######


Prompt:
I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.

So my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk.

The problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried " Love you too, not now Potato" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.

I always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.

When I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day.

I don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but he’s showing you where his priorities are. The fact that his friend can only play video games during that time is more important than you wanting to spend time with him. ######


Prompt:
I recently found out that the ring my fianceè proposed to me with is the same ring he used several years ago to propose to a girl he ended up not marrying. She didn't say no, but she left him like two weeks before their wedding. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but all I can think about is them when I look at the ring, not us.

WIBTA if I asked if we could pick out a different ring together, something that was for us instead? ######

Response: NTA, but he is. It seems like he lied to you about where the ring was from because he knew you wouldn't accept having it. It's not unreasonable for you to want your own. ######


Prompt:
So very stupid situation here but I would rather share my frustrations with strangers than shared friends...

My wife is struggling with her perception with her figure, mentioning a couple times a day that she is getting fat and to not look at her fat rolls (she is by no means fat). So I suggest that we go to the store together and plan a couple healthy meals and specifically to meal prep some healthy lunches for her to bring to work.

So we go and buy a good chunk of healthy foods and I start cooking (I do 95% of the cooking) and I spend about 3 hours making healthy low carb meals for her to bring to work. We probably spent about 80 dollars on a weeks worth of food for her and make some of her favorite healthy meals for lunches.

So as the week starts out shes taking her lunches to work and seems pretty happy with them. Come Friday, I notice there were still 2 lunches in the fridge (I had prepped four lunches) and I asked if everything was ok with them and she said that they were great but that the guys at her office were getting lunch for each other (this is common and usually isn't healthy) and that they had asked her the at the end of the shift if she would like something for the next day to which she had said yes.

Told her I was glad she was bonding and that we would just eat them for dinner that night. I was a little annoyed but didn't mention anything.

So that next Monday she brings back the tupperware from the other two lunches and one of them has her whole lunch in it! I got pretty annoyed and told her that we weren't going to be spending our money on her expensive health food if she wasn't going to be eating it and spending more money to go out and eat and that I didn't appreciate wasting my day off cooking if she wasn't going to eat it.

She seemed to feel pretty bad about it and clammed up and didn't want to talk about it further when I tried to apologize and explain my thoughts in a cooler moment (I didn't yell but was visibly annoyed). ######

Response:
 NTA, but has happened to me too. For reasons I cannot explain the home prepared food is never as enticing as the other choice...  And there is guilt that goes with it, of course. So when you ask about it, she doesn't know what to say.
The next step, if pressed, will probably be to dump it out at work and bring the empty container home. She's not doing that.
So somehow this just needs to be a choice, not something that causes guilt. Is freezing the portion of food an option, so they would last longer? Otherwise I would just drop it for now, see if she seeks it out... ######


Prompt:
Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor.  I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in.

Because of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer,  but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.

I wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property.  These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection.  I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer.  And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the "ruckus" that goes on every day.

There are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.

I feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ######

Response: NTA, but carefully follow the laws regarding eviction in your locality.  In some places landlord has to jump through hoops.  If you have to physically have them removed, you definitely want a law enforcement officer along for that.  People can become violent or destructive to property. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I'm currently living on the other side of the planet. With all the quarantine stuff, my mom's been actually genuinely worried about the family's well being, so she and my step-dad have organized a little video meeting every day where my step-dad shares a piece of the Bible and comments on it.

I should clarify that I'm 26, gay, atheist and I have a degree on Philosophy. Former Christian. My parents are not okay with any of the previous points. Except perhaps for my age.

I agreed to the meetings bc I felt like it would be a nice thing to do for my mom since he genuinely sounds worried. At first it was fine. Boring, but fine. However, since about a week ago, something has started to annoy me.

There have been many, too many mentions of homosexuality being a sin, a sign of the end of times; or quotes from Philosophers that get shut down with an absolute dumbass argument; or mentions of apostates burning in hell.

And you may think this is standard religious stuff, but I know my parents far better than that.

So, today I got sick of it and I shot back.

My step-dad talked about Genesis, I questioned every single thing he brought up; he mentioned the ark and the flood, I shot back with scientific evidence; he mentioned Newton, I pulled his biography; he questioned Voltaire, I argued back; he claimed "all bodies emmit light" and I obviously shot that down immediately, not just bc it simply isn't true, but also bc he's mentioned several times he doesn't believe in the four elemental forces (despite being a retired Nuclear Medicine Physician).

Needless to say the call ended abruptly and in an unfriendly manner.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but best to decline any future meetings like this. I might also send a polite message stating that while these meetings started out harmless enough and you didn't mind taking part in them to be involved in the family, they have seemed to have taken a judgemental and targeted turn, which you will not tolerate. I wouldn't get into any future debates or arguments, just be clear, you will not tolerate it. ######


Prompt:
I'm a senior broadcast producer, and our manager just announced that we would be welcoming a new team member next week. However, when I heard his name, I internally panicked because I used to work with him in my previous company.

I was then an associate producer, and he was a senior associate. His biggest problem was his attitude. He was by no means my boss, it just so happened that he has more experience than me, but we have the same duties. However, he always liked bossing around everyone without the "senior" title. He's always delegating duties that were initially assigned to him by our actual boss.

He's also gay, which I initially had no problems with. However, he flirted with a lot of guys in the office, even straight ones with girlfriends and wives. It got so intense to the point where he sent unsolicited dick pics to some of us and we threatened to report him to HR if he didn't stop, which he eventually did.

Lastly, he was the kind of obnoxious, overachieving, credit-grabbing person who would do anything to get his name above everyone else. To be fair, he's really good at his job, but it really irked everyone in the office because of his attitude. He was one of the reasons why I left that job.

Now, I'm planning on telling some of my friends in my current work about him. When I "warn" them though, I'm pretty sure that the news would travel fast with office gossip. It has been three years since we last encountered each other, but everything still feels \~fresh\~.

So, WIBTA if I told my current coworkers about this person we're about to work with?

EDIT: A lot of replies are saying he may have changed. I left the company in 2017. He just left last month. I talked to some of my friends who still work there if he's changed, and they're adamant that he didn't. They said that before he left, he's bragging about how this new job offered him a much higher salary. ######

Response:
 NTA, but be prepared to back up each and every allegation with witnesses - if he ends up misbehaving or gets dismissed for any reason, there may be a suit and everything you’ve said will be on trial.  He may also accuse you of discrimination and/or creating a hostile work environment, and you would need to be prepared to produce evidence for everything you’ve said in a bulletproof way.

Honestly it seems like you might be better off telling only your boss and HR, right now, before he arrives, out of concern for the work environment and so that they know to be on the lookout for issues, waiting for him to misbehave and then if that happens, taking it from there.  Telling your coworkers up front may be perceived as trying to stir hostility rather than protecting yourself or others. ######


Prompt:
Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me.

All of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.

If I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.

WIBTA if I pointed it out? ######

Response: NTA, but be prepared for any possible back lash that my occurrence from your siblings/parents. And be sure to not sound accusatory, just state how you feel and don’t word in a way that makes it sound like your yelling at them. ######


Prompt: I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that "I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ######

Response: NTA, but as others have said he may be working from home.  It would be nice to find out and to agree to some working hours for the renovation (if he won’t compromise, then ignore him). ######


Prompt:
AITA? Last night a girl I don't know very well posted on social media asking if anyone had a specific converter for connecting a DSLR camera to a computer for sale. Price was her big concern.  I happen to be a professional photographer/videographer and I've made this type of connection hundreds of times with and without the converter she was looking. This is literally the field I worked in for 15+ years.

I sent her a message that pretty much just said "Hey! That specific converter is a bit pricey, you might want to consider a couple free/cheap alternatives that don't require a converter. I'd be happy to help you get it set up." She said that she didn't think it would work because of her camera and I just said "I thought the same with mine too but that camera works just fine with this software" and sent her a couple links to the software then thought nothing more of it.

Very soon after I answered her questions she made a post that was definitely targeted at me about "mansplaining" technology to her. Am I the asshole here? Did I do something wrong? ######

Response: NTA, but are you sure that post was about you? ######


Prompt:
Hi all. So I'm really looking for help.

About five months ago, I had a minor car accident where it was my fault. I moved forward at a junction, realised the car in front of me hadn't moved and skidded on wet ground when I tried to stop. My car actually had more damage then hers.

The problem came when she mentioned she was pregnant. Right at the end I wished her good luck with the baby and she said 'if I still have one after this'. I am someone who has a condition that makes me more prone to having a miscarriage, so that upset me. Still, we exchanged details, I tried to put it from my mind.

A few days after the accident, she texts me and says she's lost the baby. That completely broke me emotionally. I had to leave work that day. Multiple people told me it wasn't my fault. It's been in my head throughout everything that was going on.

Now to today. I was at the supermarket this morning, and recognized her in the aisle ahead of me... obviously pregnant. After a few minutes, I went over to her and greeted her. I could tell she recognized my face and couldn't place me. So I told her: "I'm the woman you had a car crash with and then told you lost your baby. Congratulations on the miracle regrow, by the way." She instantly looked panicked and walked away fast.

I really want her to have some repercussions for this. I'm tempted to contact her insurer (I still have the information on my phone) to make them aware. But I feel like that would make me an AH. So Reddit... WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA, but also a waste of your time. Since she didn’t have a miscarriage, your insurance didn’t pay out anything towards it (medical records would’ve been required). She said that because she was pissed off and either trying to be nasty or get money out of you directly. So, if you feel the need, go for it, but it won’t change anything financially. Honestly, you catching her unaware is probably the best revenge. ######


Prompt:
Quarentine is making us pathetic y'all.

I have a killer headache and was laying on the couch watching something on Disney plus with the only tv in our house.

My SO asks me if he can play on the PS4 with his friend. I was in the middle of an episode and told him no, I was watching something.

Some quick background here, he plays this game with his friend every night for several hours, and even plays all day sometimes (on the one tv in the house). 99% of the time, I don't care and will stop what I'm doing so he can play. I have other things to do and even like watching sometimes. But this time I didn't feel good and just wanted to watch tv.

I honestly feel like it was unfair of him to try to demand the tv while I was in the middle of something. He'll have all night and his friend will be there later too. He ended up telling me I was being selfish and didn't know how to compromise, which he knew would upset me, and now he has the damn tv because he made me feel bad. He says I should have just given him the tv and watched something on the computer instead. The point wasn't that I wanted to watch something, it was that I wanted to use the tv and don't think I should have had to stop what I was doing just so he could play, since he'll play later too.

AITA for not wanting to stop in the middle of my episode and give him the tv? ######

Response: NTA, but also (and I mean this in kindness) stand up for yourself. Why would you let him basically bully you into giving up the tv so he can play video games? ######


Prompt:
I (36M) have a 17 year old son, “Trent.” He’s a really kind and bright kid, but he’s been making some bad choices this year. Last fall, he got ISS for smoking a blunt with his friend in the schools’ maintenance shed. They apparently broke in, damaging the door.

Now, my son has a used Sentra that I bought for him. He pays a little bit towards the insurance and gas, and he takes it to school in the mornings. Back in late February before the lockdown, I was cleaning out my car and decided to vacuum his too. I found a large bag of weed and some gummies in his truck under some dirty clothes. There was also a pipe.

I was pretty pissed, and I disposed of them and took back his car until I could trust him again. He kicked up a fuss about getting to school, but I told him to walk. The school is only two miles and my state has mild winters.

Well, the virus shut down his school soon after, so he only really walked to school for a couple times. I told him I’d consider giving the car back once life resumes, but if i find drugs again, I’m calling the police and considering an inpatient facility.

AITA? Some might say I was too harsh, but I just want my son to be safe. I got his mom pregnant when we were 18, and I want him to have a chance at a better life then I had. ######

Response:
 NTA, but a word of caution. Inpatient facilities are for addictive substances, which marijuana chemically isn’t. You can get psychologically addicted to anything but weed doesn’t develop a physical dependency in the user. I really caution you against putting your kid in an environment where they will potentially be exposed to users of much, much more dangerous and life altering substances over something so small. I think getting the cops involved also doesn’t really fall in line with your idea of him having a better life. If he gets tagged with a possession charge otherwise because he isn’t following your rules that’s one thing- but you’d be setting him up for the charge yourself to make a point, and I think that is misguided.

You don’t have to like or agree that weed is okay, and you can certainly not want it in your house or around your possessions. That is totally your right and punishing your kid for breaking your rules by taking away privileges is totally in bounds. But you’re talking about escalating this in ways that could change the landscape of his life, and that is a dangerous game you’re playing. Think about it this way- if weed really is a gateway drug then he’s opened the gate. Do you really want him, a still impressionable teen, in a facility or a holding cell with people who’ve walked through the gate? ######


Prompt:
So today my boyfriend and I were talking and I mentioned that a homeless guy peed in my driveway. I then said that I wished I had the ability and the confidence to pee in someone’s driveway(as a joke obviously). He then said that there’s no reason I can’t, just do it.

I asked how he proposed I do that without getting naked in the street, and he said I could just pull down my pants a little and aim forwards. The conversation continued like this in a stupid way until he finally said something about how women pee out of the clit. I burst out laughing and said that I didn’t think he was an idiot(also as a joke).

He then got really pissed off and hung up. I texted him and he said he was mad that I called him an idiot. I mean come on, really? Who thinks women pee out of the clit? Who even told him that? He’s 20, not 12!

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, both women and men both have urethras. But in all honesty, you'd be surprised just how ignorant some people are about anatomy. ######


Prompt:
When I was 15, my mom left the family. For a long time, no one knew where she was or even if she was okay. Eventually, it was discovered that she was just “too overwhelmed” and left to handle herself. My brothers and I were raised by our uncle and my dad from that point on, but it was hard. I became like my brothers’ mom and had to grow up quicker than I probably should’ve. I got into therapy and a few years back and have been doing better.

Recently, I found my mom on Facebook. It was by pure mistake because I reconnected with some other maternal family members that I guess are friends with her. She had the same first name and looks pretty much the same, with just a different last name. The more I looked at her page, however, I saw that she had gotten remarried not long after she left my dad and had basically started a new family. She has kids ranging in age from 2-10 years old. My husband told me to leave it alone, but I was so angry and I just couldn’t handle it, so I ended up finding out her husband’s FB and messaged him, saying that his wife had 5 other kids that she had abandoned, did he know that? My mom ended up messaging me, pissed, saying I had made her husband mad because he didn’t know. To me, that’s not my problem. You can’t just run off and neglect my responsibilities. However, my brothers and husband think I was the asshole. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, because your action was justified.
Building up for years being a mother to your brother. Seeing her being a mom to other children. Basically ignoring you ever existed. I'm sure it brought you to tears and anger. Idc what anyone say I feel you were in the right . ######


Prompt:
For background information, I(16F) didn’t grow up around my dad(39M) much, but moved in with him for about a year and a half. During that year, I never told anyone what had happened, so he didn’t know. But basically something very traumatizing happened when I went out at night time, that’s all the detail I’m willing to give on here.

Before all that, I already had problems with germs but it wasn’t really a big deal. After that happened, I asked my dad to stop touching me at all. No hugs, no cuddling (he’s very physically affectionate), not even handshakes. He didn’t take it too well. He said okay the first time though.

Not even a day later, he was right back to normal. It was just me and him living together, so I couldn’t get another adult figure to talk to him. I asked him once again about a week later to stop touching me, but he said that he gets that I don’t like it, but that he’s going to keep doing it. I tried explaining that I have a fear of being touched, and that it’s not some stupid “I’m a teenager so I don’t want to show affection” type of thing. I tried to suggest other ways to show affection and said that I know it’s hard at first but if we just practice then it’ll feel normal. He said that I was just being moody, but I didn’t drop it for the rest of the time I lived with him.

I never told him what happened because when I talked to him about another situation he didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t say it but he had the attitude of “You shouldn’t have made such a fuss”.

The thing that I think upset him the most was that I let some people touch me. I was okay with my boyfriend and my mom touching me, but anyone else (older guys especially) freaked me out. Even my little sister knows not to touch me.
He probably felt like I was only targeting him though.

Am I the ass? I feel like at the time I didn’t have a choice because it really freaked me out, and still does. But I feel like I really hurt him. ######

Response: NTA, because you should get to decide who touches you, but also start looking at therapy options. ######


Prompt:
(Unrelated to my last post if you’re looking for another update you’re SOL)

So my vet said since I loved them so much I should give them a rate and review on google.

So I did..

And I was honest..

4/5 stars, great tech, doctor was nice blah blah, but the manager was a total dick on the phone and in person. This is not word for word obviously

And I stand by it, the manager was a dick he has ZERO people skills, acted like talking to me was a chore, and his tone just had this overwhelming “i am better than you” to it. Made all the worse from the timing (my rabbits died) I think I’m allowed to call and ask questions without feeling like a chore to some pompous manager.

I got an email asking to edit out the specifics of the review..

Why ask me to review you if you don’t want me to be honest though? Maybe take what I said and use it to improve your business? Give your manager some classes on how to talk to clients maybe IDK?

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, ballsy of them to straight out ask for a review. The point of reviews is to tell others what to expect. 4/5 isn’t bad, too bad they have a crappy manager, they should look into fixing that situation if they want 5 stars and better reviews. ######


Prompt:
Okay so I have a cat. Her name is Kitty, she's a beautiful little crossbreed and my entire life revolves around her. When she passes, I genuinely don't know how I'll cope.

Anyway, my sister also has a cat. His name is Taz, and she loves him more than life itself. She's autistic, and he's very very good with it. Sensory overload? He'll calm her down immediately. She's crying? He'll nuzzle her and often times grab my parents for her. But he's also very fat. And they just keep feeding him. My sister is obsessed with him, and she will feed him whatever he wants. She doesn't understand that she's hurting him, and I don't want to upset her by telling her.

My parents know. Taz's breathing is getting awful, he can't just very well, and despite his young age can't play for more than five minutes without needing a rest.

I'm genuinely worried for his health, and my parents also feed him whatever he wants, and they do the same with my cat. She has her own medical problems, that will probably shorten her life span. I don't want to make it any shorter.

I have told them that they're killing him by feeding him constantly. They tell me I'm being cruel, and just trying to scare my sister, which is literally the opposite of what I'm doing. They also refuse to stop feeding my cat when she wants it. She looses weight stupidly fast, so it's not too dangerous, but still worries me.

They said if I'm so worried, I can just up Kitty's exercise (which I am doing), and that I need to stop worrying about Taz because he's 'fine'.

I don't want my sister to loose her life line quicker than she has to, but apparently I'm just worrying about nothing because he's only 'a little' overweight.

He doesn't look that big, but he's gaining, and fast.

So, AITA?

(Once again, I'm awful with wording so just ask if I don't make any sense.) ######

Response: NTA, ask them maybe to go see a vet together (with your parents), a professionnal advice might be more powerful to them ? A fresh start with a professionnal point of view,  to whom you can explain everything about the cats diets, we can't really judge from reddit ! ######


Prompt:
I own a retail shop / deli. I have this dude who is a barely regular customer. He always orders the same exact thing. Right after he says what he wants he glares at you / stares you down and says something to the effect of "you're going to give me a good portion right?" Hes a bigger muscular guy.

Hes done the same exact thing in his half a dozen visits to my business. He did it to me once and it definitely felt like he was trying to intimidate me. He did it to a few staff members and it seemed more aggressive / intimidating. I'm a guy in my thirties and my staff is all teenagers.

Finally today I waited on him and he did it to me. It definitely felt intimidating. I asked him what he meant trying to ask innocently. He repeated what he said and glared at me even more. I asked he was implying would happen if I didnt give him what he thought was a "good portion." He said that I "did want to do that." I told him to keep his hands where I could see them and get out of my business. As soon as I said that he seemed really flustered. Actually he seemed scared. I had a hunch all along he was a phony tough guy.

He tried to mutter something and I told him to get out. He left. ######

Response: NTA, as the owner its your job to make sure your employees feel comfortable and safe. He made them feel threatened for doing their job and definitely didn't deserve to be there. ######


Prompt:
We are both in our early 20s, together for 2 years and live together

His work schedule is a standard mon-Thursday 8-5. We usually go to bed at very reasonable hours and get good amounts of sleep.

He used to smoke weed in high school/college but stopped when he got a job that required drug testing. He recently got a new job that doesn’t test so he started smoking again.

I have nothing against smoking, but I do have an issue with how it’s changed our lives with each other. He will smoke as soon as he comes home from work, he’ll play some video games, we’ll eat dinner and then he falls asleep. For the past few weeks he’s been falling asleep between 7pm and 9:30pm. The other day he fell asleep right after dinner at 6:30.

The problem is, between dinner and bedtime was our time to hang out with each other. We would watch a movie or hang out or do naughty things. We haven’t done any of that lately because he’s sleeping so early.

The next morning he will wake up groggy and drowsy because he’s sleeping so much. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he says that it’s not because of the weed and if he is sleeping early it’s because he needs it. I told him it’s not normal for him to get 12 hours of sleep and then be tired again at 7pm. Also this didn’t start until he started smoking again.

Now he thinks I’m mad about the weed and I’m sincerely not I just hate the fact that we don’t get any time together anymore and I’m getting very frustrated. AITA for being mad about this? ######

Response: NTA, as someone who spent a lot of their younger years smoking, I can confirm that weed does make you super sleepy. When I don't smoke, I sleep an average of 6.5-8.5 hours and I'm perfectly rested. If I smoke, I can easily sleep for 10-15+ hours and still feel tired. It also stops me being social as it makes me super sleepy (even the non sleepy types of grass). I stopped smoking due to the issues with sleep. The stone over grogginess the next day was affecting my attention and I ended up getting to the point where I couldn't sleep without a joint. He's prioritising getting high over spending time with you, whereas he should be taking a night or two off smoking to stay alert and chill with you. ######


Prompt: . Just shoes. At target getting our 1 1/2 yo son sandals. Husband points out a geometric dark blue pair and I point out a plain pair with silver sparkles. He said they are for girls. I strongly disagree for the reason of they are nothing more the something to keep our feet from touching the hot dirty ground. He goes to say that they are seen as shoes for girls. And even if our son may like she shiny ones better he (husband) would prefer the geometric blue ones. AITA for telling him he is being sexist because they are just shoes? ######

Response: NTA, as long as your son actually preferred the sparkle shoes and you weren't choosing them in some lame attempt to appear woke. ######


Prompt:
My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.

Recently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.

Not too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.

When I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.

Later, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.

He told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######

Response: NTA, as long as you were polite. it's okay to not want to be around certain people that doesn't make you an asshole. However this will probably cause the relationship you have with your father to deteriorate. ######


Prompt:
Hi all,

I’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism/ADHD/etc.
I have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.

One of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.

J is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.

I decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.
She immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.
I got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA, as long as you were gentle in your delivery, but nothing in your post makes me think you came off as insensitive or inappropriate. it's an important concern to bring up, for the sake of the kid. ######


Prompt:
I will try to keep this as concise as possible.

My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.

I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.

More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######

Response: NTA, as far as I'm concerned. You've always done the cooking, that hasn't changed; she just doesn't want to eat what you're cooking now. She could cook for herself or order things from amazon or home delivery groceries or whatever if it's that big of an issue for her. ######


Prompt:
I(25f) recently had a child and my husband(29m) didn’t show up until about an hour after I had given birth.

I asked why he took so long to get here and he told me he had to help his friend clean their garage and that he planned to be here after it was done. I got furious at him for prioritizing someone’s clean garage over his wife going into labor.

He says that he doesn’t see it as a big deal and says that he feels like he shouldn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. I was really hurt by that comment and I’m not sure if I should have been mad. AITA ######

Response: NTA, as a guy currently sitting next to my wife in Labor and Delivery this is just insane. How did get his head so far up his ass that he thinks that his friends garage matters at all. Going through labor is both tough and hard and as the wife you should be supported in any way you possibly need. He needs a major correction as to what matters in life.. ######


Prompt:
Me [16M] and my girlfriend [16F] have been together for 1 year. We drove seperately to a small party 2 months ago. Her parents were out of town. The party was going well. We didn't realize there'd be alcohol there but there was. When I saw her start drinking I decided to stay sober so I could drive us both home. She proceeded to drink a decent amount and got drunk. She usually doesn't drink.

When the party was ending I told her to come in my car and I'd drive us back to her house and she said ok. Some of the girls at the party saw me planning to drive her and flipped out, saying I shouldn't be trusted with a drunk girl. I explained I just didn't want her to drive and would get her home safely. We aren't 21, I don't want her to get a DUI, and I don't want to risk her or others safety. They know I'm her boyfriend. One of the girls insisted on being the one to drive her.

I didn't know her all that well (and neither does my gf) and didn't know if she was really sober so I said no and told my gf lets go, and we walked to my car as those girls yelled at me.

When we got home I gave her some water and then guided her to her bed. We then fell asleep. I've slept over before and  her parents were always fine with that.

In the morning she was hung over and I took care of her. She apologized for drinking too much and thanked me. Later in the day she went to pick up her car from her friend/the host of the party. The host was not one of the girls who got upset at me during the party.

The next day, one of the girl's who were upset at me from the party texted me. They said the host of the party told her me and my gf slept in the same bed. The girl said this proves I couldn't be trusted. blocked her number.

I told my girlfriend all of this. She told me she told the girls I did nothing wrong, but they told her she wouldn't be able to remember if I did do anything wrong.

Should I have just let one of the girls drive her so I didn't seem suspicious? ######

Response: NTA, and your girlfriend doesn't think so either so that should be what matters. ######


Prompt:
Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.

So this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.

A month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.

So Reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, and you know better than I do that is not over.

Your family will not just drop this.

Please take extra care, put your passport somewhere hidden and safe so you can't be easily taken out of the country. Let friends know what happened.

If you are fully ghosting the family, consider moving and give absolutely no one in your family your address.

Good luck and be safe. ######


Prompt:
I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house "what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.

 I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend  to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she  feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice  (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying "the experiment was over" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated "I'm 18" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######

Response: NTA, and you can cure this habit of barging in on you easily, simply start doing it to them, your sister is on the phone; barge in, your mums having a nap; in you go. And make sure to always have something irrelevant or pointless to do or say when you do it. In all seriousness I would make this a hill to die on, either you get to lock the door or they get to knock and respect it if you decline to answer. If your mum is not in agreement, you barr the door with your dresser.  And the "what if there's a fire" excuse is bullshit! Internal standart doors are made of paper, if your mum is a volunteer firefighter, she's more than capable of getting through it! Or she shouldn't be a firefighter. This is about controlling you, nothing else! ######


Prompt:
13M.

My Dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her Jess, started spending the night recently. Before he met her, every night, I’d lay in my dad’s bed with my head on his chest. He’d stroke my hair and we’d talk for about an hour before I went to bed. I did this the first few days and she didn’t say anything until about an hour ago. She asked me to please stop doing it when she’s around because the affection should go to her when she’s here, but it’s okay to do it when she’s gone. She told me that I made her feel like she wasn’t even there and my dad didn’t care about her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and that was extremely inappropriate for her to say to you.  She knows this or she would've said something to your father instead. ######


Prompt:
Full disclosure: this happened several years ago, but I remembered today.  I went to an Italian fast food place whose name rhimes with Bizarro.  They had pictures of the food prominently displayed on the menu board and I saw they had a meatball sub with four meatballs.  I ordered said sub and when I got mine it had 3 meatballs.  I pointed this out to the server who essentially said ‘sorry, it comes with 3’.  I asked for a manager and pointed out that their menu board showed a sub with 4 meatballs and I had gotten mine with only 3. The manager doubled down and said ‘sorry that’s how it comes’. I pointed out that this was false advertisement but they essentially shrugged and said sorry.  I then asked for (and got) a refund.  AITA?

TLDR:  a sub shop had a picture in their menu board of a sub with 4 meatballs, but they serve them only with 3.  I asked for a refund when they would not make it as pictured. ######

Response:
 NTA, and that is false advertising. At least you got your money.

If they have a social media page, perhaps ask them there why they falsely advertise the no. of meatballs in the sandwich. ######


Prompt:
My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her.

To be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer.

She thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’.

I don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?

(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######

Response: NTA, and she's not your friend, not even a work-friend, otherwise it'd be a healthy competition with best wishes going both ways, instead she wants you to hurt your life progression to maybe help her own. ######


Prompt:
So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.

This morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######

Response: NTA, and regardless of your gender that is an invasion of privacy and is completely illegal. ######


Prompt:
So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment.

Steve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met.

I gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.

This week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children.

A lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and personally I wouldn’t renew the lease of someone who called me an asshole on social media. ######


Prompt:
So my background was a picture of a dog that said "what the FUCK is oatmeal" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was "traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said "spy on individuals you don't know.
So AITA

EDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######

Response: NTA, and now that you mention it, what the fuck *is* oatmeal? ######


Prompt:
For the past few years, I have been against having kids. I hate the thought of getting pregnant and it absolutely terrifies me. My parents have always hated me for that, but I can't really do anything about it.

My sister, on the other hand, is desperate to get married and desperate to have children. She has a few chronic illnesses though. Now that she has a boyfriend she's been getting ready to have kids. Researching the best part of our city to have kids, looking at preschools, etc.

Due to her chronic illness, she spoke to a doctor that told her that childbirth is possible for her, but the best route is adoption or surrogacy.

When she expressed to me that she expected me to be her surrogate, I told her that I didn't want to be her surrogate. I'm a healthy person, but pregnancy comes with too many health risks that I don't want to deal with our face, and I don't think I could handle the pain of labor and childbirth.

She insists that as her sister, I should be willing to step up.

Now I feel kind of guilty about the whole thing. She upset with me now. I want her to be happy but I don't think I could be a surrogate.

So, WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA, and no physician worth their degree would allow you to become a surrogate, especially if you don’t have any of your own kids ######


Prompt:
I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that.

Just to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”.

Now I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”.

At a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her.

As far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA, and man, people freak out over the smallest things ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.

For some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.

Things have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of "You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant".

As a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and it’s not your opinion or anyone’s if she’s gained weight, it’s a quantitative number, that she should be reporting to her OB to make sure everything’s on track. Too slow or too fast weight gain can be an indication of further issues. I’m worried she’s avoiding staying on top of this. ######


Prompt:
My dad and mom split up when I was young but I’ve been close as hell with both of them until my dad started dating Kara (not her real name) My dad is white and my mom is black so yes I’m biracial and Kara is a massive racist. She has used the following slurs to my face the following

-	nigger
-	porch monkey
-	half breed
-	mutt
-	jigaboo

And not just her; her kids (9m, 11f) have also called me slurs. Of course if I ever tell my dad and he confronts her, she just denies it and starts gaslighting him. Recently they announced they’re getting married in December and she’s 6 weeks pregnant. Now of course Kara texted me and said not to expect any fried chicken or pigs feets served at the wedding because she’s vegan and it’s gonna be all vegan food. At that point I had it, I texted my dad that I will not be showing up to the wedding and that Kara is a mistake. He said I was overreacting and I should spend more time with her but I’m done. ######

Response: NTA, and idk how old you are and if custody is an issue. If it is, find out if your state is a two party consent state for recording and if it’s not, record conversations with her so you have proof when she uses these slurs while you are visiting dad. If custody isn’t an issue, don’t go to the wedding and minimize contact to just phone calls with him. ######