Prompt:
 My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.

Then she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).

Anyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.

So Reddit, am I an asshole here? ######

Response: NTA she was just hangry. ######


Prompt: This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about "forgetting something" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ######

Response: NTA she stole and there were consequences. You had nothing to do with it. Her pregnancy doesn’t make it your fault ######


Prompt:
A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident?

TLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ######

Response: Nta she picked the sharpest knife to stab you with. You will struggle to ever be able to open up to her again. ######


Prompt:
I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates.  This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.

&#x200B;

My girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week.  The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift.  She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage.  This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.

&#x200B;

When I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home.  Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out.  This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant.  The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself.  She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay.  The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.

&#x200B;

Before I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin.  Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight.  During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could.  They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.

&#x200B;

We've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year.  She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible.  If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless.  She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.

&#x200B;

I think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA she needs to work this out herself and live within her means.

Her expecting you to bail her out when there are realistic other options is a red flag and something you should consider moving forward.

Good luck on your deployment. ######


Prompt:
So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway).

So I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom).

So my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing.

That's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual " I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said  "sure" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said " I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?" and she lit up thinking she could win again.

Long story short I beat her 40-2

She ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole

&#x200B;

So Reddit AITA ######

Response: NTA she needs to learn ######


Prompt: I (18F) live with my mom, dad, eldest sister(26F), her husband (23M) and their three little girls(9,7,1) I have spinal problems due to a stair incident in 7th grade. Blah blah blah pandemic keeps me from doctors blah blah losing mobility in hips down blah blah need cane and constant medication to walk normally. I’m upstairs doing my coursework and my cane is hanging on the chair next to me. My sister comes up to feed the baby and moves my cane. Which usually is, like, whatever, i move it to my lap or on the back of my chair. But this time she moves it a few feet out of reach near the kitchen counter. Still whatever, I just point out that I can’t reach my cane from there and she says ‘well it’s not like your going anywhere anyways’ which, rude, but fair enough I’m working at that moment so it’s whatever. I pause my work and play with the baby. I help feed her, everything is fine, I’m getting tired and my sister takes the baby when she’s done eating. She’s in the kitchen and I need to get up so I can go and rest but my cane’s too far. My sisters husband comes upstairs with a sippy cup and before he passes me I ask ‘Hey (HISNAME), can you pass me my cane? (SISTER) put it too far’. Cue sister getting huffy and her husband rolling eyes asking how I could be blaming her. I’m tired, I just want to nap. He hands me my cane I bid them adieu and leave to take my nap. Sister is offended by this whole interaction. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA She moved it out of reach and got mad at you for pointing it out? Makes no sense. ######


Prompt: So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA she is being passive aggressive, ignore her.
She is an adult and can express what she wants when she wants it, it she doesn’t too bad. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 5. She is currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first child and we have been excited.

My MIL and wife have been always been close, MIL raised my wife as a single mom. MIL was also raised by a single mom. MIL actually didn’t tell my wife’s dad that she existed and to this day, he doesn’t know. My wife has no interest in knowing her dad so she says it’s just not a huge deal. I respect her wishes, but it has lead to issues with the pregnancy. MIL and I had a decent relationship until my wife got pregnant. Even before she got pregnant, MIL would always say, “When (wife) gets pregnant, if you leave, I will be there for her.” And since we told her, it’s been a reoccurring theme. It has been made clear by MIL if I can’t take it  and leave her daughter, she will take my place and parent my child. I have no plans on leaving my wife or my child.

And really, the whole thing has driven me crazy. My wife has said “I know you’re not leaving” but she says her mom feels that they know best with pregnancy and child rearing. I am worried about being pushed out of this child’s life and that it’s a wish of MIL that I will just up and leave, so she can swoop in and be the child’s dad. I have told MIL I’ll never leave but she says “you don’t know how hard it’ll be”.

Recently, we were on Zoom and MIL said something to the effect of her being the dad if I left. I told her no, I’m not and she needs to cut it out. She said, I won’t get how hard it is until the baby’s born, etc, etc. I said “yes and that’s just what you want, for your daughter to be abandoned and sad, that’s pretty sadistic.” This offended MIL and apparently my wife too. Apparently I don’t understand that MIL has abandonment issues because her dad left her. I said I sympathize but she cut one man out of knowing his kid (my wife’s dad and her) and now is doing the same. They are painting me as the devil here.

Am I being the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA she is assuming that you are leaving, if this is a recurring pattern. And this is not okay. It undemines your and your wifes thinking. And it doenst matter if she is doing that on purpose or not.

Also what is when the child is born and she will constantly tells the child that she will be there if you are not. Maybe she will go so far to blame you for everything you do wrong with the child. A lot of potential for future drama here ######


Prompt: This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ######

Response: NTA She is a liar.  You cannot count on her. ######


Prompt:
Ok so backstory here
I live with my friend in his house and rent from him, due to lots of previous personal experiences his ex dosen't like me, one bit, she despises me. He and his ex are kinda friends, they hang out every once in awhile while I'm at work. I don't really care, I don't talk to her, I don't associate with her. She is literally insane, broke down when she saw my fish in the living room, insisted I don't belong in the house, etc. My friend had to defend me. She has stalked my social media for months and put together a whole notebook of my posts, she has gone around spreading lies and rumors about me and cost me a lot of close relationships and loved ones who turned on me. I've gotten over all of this through much pain and forgiveness.

So I log onto my switch me and my friend both split half and half, we each paid half for it. I see a new profile with her name. I think "ok whatever", I go to log onto animal crossing to play with my friend for a bit. I see a random new tent, I think it's a new little resident at first. My friend points out it has a mailbox and is pink on the map. I read the username. Its my friends ex who has now set up her tent on my animal crossing island. Neither of them asked me, I bought that game 100% myself.

So I deleted her account off the switch and from my ac game. AITA? I don't want her in my life, I don't want to see her, talk to her or hear about her. My friend can hang out with her if he chooses, it's his life. But I don't need her in mine. ######

Response: NTA she hates you but is happy to use your things? Also it takes like 1 hour to upgrade from the tent so it's not like you ruined a lot of progress ######


Prompt:
Well, this is a long one, but I'll try to make it short. I and my family are dog breeders ( Akita inu) and because of this, we have met many people, who do the same thing or just loves animals all together.

My parents have been doing this for 25+ years, and have made plenty of friends, but one always stuck out. My mom has known her for around 10 years or so. I'll call her friend E.

E is a proper hippie (antivaxx, 5g will kill you , you get the deal) she lives in a huge farm , without running water or electricity ( she willingly chose this)

At first she had 6 akitas, they were all healthy and beautiful, but as the time went on she started to rescue animals.  She was telling everyone who was listening how good she is to them, how she uses better methods with them than everyone else and how we should learn from her.

She adopted two parrots from an old lady, they were killed by her cat.

She adopted 10+ stray dogs, who are fighting constantly

She adopted a baby deer, because it was sick, and needed feeding, she left her in the garden and THE DOGS ATE the poor thing.

She had 3 litters despite knowing there was parvo virus in her land and around 20+ puppies died.

The list is endless, you probably get the deal.

Well, today she called us crying, that she forgot to lock her front gate, one of her older akitas, who she loved dearly ran away, and was hit by a car, she died. And I lost it.

I raised my voice tbh. at her , how she is the worst of all pet owners I've ever known in my life, and more animals have died by her hand, than she has saved.

Well, she started crying even more and hung up. My parents want me to apologize to het, but to be honest I feel like I was telling the truth.

So Reddit, was I the asshole here and should I apologize? ######

Response: NTA she has an animal hoarding problem, you need to call someone to save what's left of those poor animals. She will just keep collecting animals and they'll keep dying in her care. ######


Prompt:
Before covid, still a problem.

My daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.

Anyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.

When I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home.

We had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.

Then he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.

Aita? ######

Response: NTA She had a headache. And even if she was exaggerating, what’s the problem if she hardly misses school? Honestly sometimes I let mine stay home just because they don’t feel going to school that day. Kids need a break sometimes. ######


Prompt:
So my younger sister (19) got engaged to her boyfriend on February 20th. This came as a shock to my whole family because they were only dating about two weeks. That event alone caused a lot of drama and my sister was very upset about the lack of support and excitement. I tried being there for her and gave her a gentle nudge to maybe have a long engagement. Now just last week my (24f) boyfriend (25m) of three years proposed. We waited until last night to tell all of our family members over FaceTime and oh man did shit hit the fan. My sister was livid and accused me of trying to take the spotlight away from her. She claimed her boyfriend obviously loved her more since he proposed before mine and that I was just jealous. She was also pissed at my family for being more supportive of my engagement and was posting all over social media about having toxic family. I guess I didn’t really think about how close our announcements were so I can kind of see her point but I wasn’t thinking how she thinks I was. My fiancé and I have been talking about marriage for a year now and apparently he’s had the ring for months.

AITA? Or maybe just insensitive? ######

Response:
 NTA she got engaged a month and a half ago. Thats more than enough time to have passed to announce your engagement

Your family isn’t supportive of her relationship because its dumb to get engaged after two weeks together. ######


Prompt:
I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.

AITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ######

Response: NTA she gets to dictate what she eats, not what you eat. You seem very respectful, but she doesn't. Why does it matter if your the one eating it? She should respect your right to make decisions for yourself, just as you have done for her. Also it isn't like you tried to get her to eat it! ######


Prompt:
This is a bit of a complicated one I think, but I will accept my judgment.

I love and have always had cats, and I recently got engaged to a wonderful man. We've lived with a roommate who had a cat for a while and my fiance encouraged me to leave when the situation got toxic, telling me we could get a cat when we moved.

We're in the final stages of adopting a cat and his father is upset with us because his older sister is extremely allergic to cats and has a history of allergies and asthma attacks.

She does, however, also have a history of lying about allergic reactions as an excuse to get out of social situations (and lies quite often about her health to get out of other things), so we're not sure how bad her allergies really are.

I guess we're just wondering if it would be wrong to bring an cat into our own home if we take steps to avoid it? We're extremely conflicted. We're not opposed to showering and washing our clothes before seeing her, but she would be extremely offended if we brought cats into our home. She's allergic to most animals so we'd struggle to adopt a dog or bird either..

Idk. Please pass your judgment :(this is hard ######

Response: NTA she doesnt live with you, adopt a kitty :) ######


Prompt:
After I was born, my parents, who were drug addicts and have been arrested prior for petty crimes, we're seemed unfit parents and when I was an infant my grandparents were awarded full custody.
I'm sixteen years old and my grandparents are practically my whole world. They have told me many times that if I wanted to reconnect with my mother and father that it was my decision and that they'd support me 100%, but I never wanted to.

My Mother recently reconnected with my grandparents (I've refused to talk to her) and she said she wanted to have at least partial custody of me. She also threatened that if my grandparents didn't help her resolve the situation peacefully, she was going to take them to court, and that's what ended up happening. Fortunately, since it was found that she wasn't in the position to care for me, and since I didn't want to live with her (my birth father, apparently, died a few years ago) she didn't get any custody or visitation.

Right when we were leaving the courthouse, the last time I saw her, she told me I was selfish for not letting my grandparents live the rest of their lives son peace without having to care for an ungrateful grandson. It hurt and so I stormed off, but I've been thinking about it ever since- am I TA for not letting my grandparents enjoy their silver years? ######

Response:
 NTA she doesn’t just get to roll up into your life and demand to be your ‘mother’. She chose her path many years ago.

If your ‘mother’ was so concerned about her parents living in peace she wouldn’t be dragging them to court to get custody of a child she conveniently remembers she has and wants custody of after 16 years ######


Prompt:
So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people.

Another problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying.

Today I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer.

When I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me.

Now she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here.

She responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc.

Once again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole.
The thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly.  I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law.

I'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language)

AITA? ######

Response: NTA she doesn't just get her way because she's old. There are rules that need to be followed and no one is allowed to sit there anyways. On a normal day I'd say let the lady sit down but this isn't a normal time in the world. You protected yourself and her even if she didn't like it. ######


Prompt:
 I have a 16 year old daughter, who has recently begun her first real relationship. He’s a nice boy and I like him a lot, though I get the impression his family is much more conservative than I am. His parents wanted to meet my husband and I so we had them over for dinner last night and I did get some judgy vibes from the mother at least. My daughter is not my husband’s child. We went on vacation once with my former best friend and after a night of drinking we decided to switch partners. My husband had a vasectomy before I met him, so when I got pregnant I knew who the father was.

My daughter does know her bio dad, but he choses not to be a big part of her life. She has a great relationship with my husband, but she calls him by his first name. He never wanted kids and I was afraid he’d leave me, so out compromise was that I don’t ever expect him to be a real parent to her. I’m just glad they bonded. It’s a little unconventional, but we’re all happy.

Anyway dinner was going alright, but I mentioned something about how the pandemic had forced us to cancel our plans for our twentieth anniversary, and I didn’t think of it at the time, but obviously they did the math and the mother asked me about it, so I was honest. She looked very uncomfortable, but I guess a lot of people would be, and then she asked how I could say it in front of my daughter. I asked if I was supposed to lie to her, and the woman said she didn’t understand how I could be so upfront about cheating on my husband. That really pissed me off, because obviously I didn’t cheat so I told her to get out.

My daughter is mad at me, because she’s 16 and everything I do is mortifying, and because she is worried about her relationship, but I tried to explain it nicely to this woman. Also I feel like I’m not an asshole because she shouldn’t have asked in the first place, but I’ll let you decide. ######

Response: NTA she disrespected you in your own home. Also she was the one who started asking questions and you tried to politely answer. Besides what business is it of hers? It doesn't affect her in any way ######


Prompt:
So I had gotten a ridgeback/Rottweiler mixed pup. All the other pups looked like Rottweilers with ridges on their backs, but one who looked like a RB with no ridge.
I saw him, black sheep i thought, so am i.
Loved the stuffing out this pup.
We did mostly everything together.
Even on weekends we would go the practice together, and my team mates loved him.

Fast forward to 6 years later.
I got home from school. First things first, go hang out with Brutus.
No Brutus, no chain, no bowl.
WTF is going on i thought.
Me: Mom. Where is Brutus?
Mom: oh. So you know or elderly neighbour X, someone stole their dog. So I gave them Brutus for protection.
Me: what the fuck did you just say? You gave away my dog, without my permission?
Mom: Yes, they needed him more than we did. We have another dog.
Me: he was not yours to give away you fucking cunt. Fuck off.

Me being to young or stupid at the time to go take back my dog.

Soon after I left home and found out he was depressed, stopped eating and he died.
I never forgave here for this.

Am I the asshole for this? ######

Response: NTA she did give away your dog without your permission and also made him die for that youre defenitly not the ahole ######


Prompt:
I have a tiny hole in my wall right above my bed. My girlfriend (17, im 18) absent-mindedly was scratching it and i jokingly said "haha don't scratch my wall off" thinking she'd stop. She didn't. She kept scratching it and i said something like "im serious please don't break my wall" as the hole was getting bigger. She kept on doing it though so I was a little upset because like ?? its my wall lol and i directly asked her to stop breaking it. Then she got defensive and completely shut me out and is now sulking on her phone. AITA?

edit: misspelled a word ######

Response: NTA She deliberately broke your wall.  And now she's apparently shutting you out for being upset that she caused harm to your property. That's doubly asshole. ######


Prompt:
I don’t see my family very often and my sister posted a picture of her BF a few days ago. He gets tattoos a lot and I had never seen the one on his arm.

I zoomed in and just thought ‘hay that’s looks like my younger sister’ I didn’t think anything of it other than what a strange coincidence it was. I screenshot the photo and do a side by side comparison of another photo with my younger sister and send it to my sister.

I wrote ‘his tattoo looks just like such and such!’

She replied back the next day asking what my game was? What was I trying to say?
I was a bit shocked so replied ‘nothing, I just thought it was strange that’s all.’ To which she starts asking why I would feel the need to point out anyone’s tattoo mistakes. I said I wasn’t and she said I was trying to imply something. Of course I joked this off and explained no of course I don’t think he has a tattoo of our younger sister! Because I didn’t, just thought it was a mad coincidence how similar they are.

She got quite mad, started saying mum had pointed this out too, I had no right, why would I put it into his head about the tattoo etc etc.

I’ve not even replied because I don’t see why she’s taken it so personally/why she would tell him about a random similarity I noticed or why she jumped straight to anger. ######

Response: NTA she definitely noticed too and is self conscious about it. Does your younger sister know? ######


Prompt:
Due to current global circumstances all our staff meetings are through a zoom like platform.

While we were waiting for the office manager to get on, everyone was showing off their pets and then the moms in there group started to talk about their kids, etc.

My coworker (35F), lets call her Z, was talking her daughter (7) being stubborn and “unwilling to do anything she doesn’t want.” Ya know. It’s whatever, nobody cared cause this meeting wasn’t about people’s children or their parenting. I basically forgot she said anything about her kid.

This is where I may have been an ass:
At the end of our meeting Z grabbed her daughter walking by and shoved her in front of the camera and said “here’s miss brat who never listens!” and I just got annoyed and said “we love strong women, don’t change!”

It’s just a personal annoyance of mine when people talk down about their kids, but I’m not a parent. So I really can’t say whether or not that’s normal, but as someone who came from an abusive home growing up, it rubbed me the wrong way.

My other coworker after the meeting said that was a dick move but I don’t think I was being an ass, just trying to make light of a weird way to describe and then show off your child. AITA?

If I am an asshole, I’ll say sorry to Z but she hasn’t said anything to me directly but I could tell it annoyed her.
(Also, I’m 25F to make it more clear) ######

Response: NTA saying stuff like that to kids at such a young age is just disgusting, it can affect children a lot when they grow up. I had this one teacher that always called me names and telling me that I was stupid and that I was a brat even though I was one of the most quiet and nice kids in the class, she was my teacher for four years and I have anxiety because of it. It must be way worse when your own parent does something like this, I really feel bad for the kid and I appreciate that you called the mom out, she deserved it. ######


Prompt:
I have a rat with a mammary tumor, and I decided that I need to get it removed. She is otherwise healthy but it's growing fast and getting in the way of her movement. Unfortunately even after shopping around the cost is going to end up being almost $600.

I pay for everything with these rats and I'm even ready to pay for this bill. However I was scared of telling mom the price when I came home today so I lied and said it was going to be about $250.

Even with that amount She was shocked and started lecturing me about how unnecissary this whole thing was.

*"It's just a rat. Why do you waste your money on something like that? Just get a new one!"*

I felt really awful because I know it seems unnecissary to go to all this trouble for something that will only live another maybe 1-2 years. I just hate seeing her in such an uncomfortable possition.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA s/he’s your pet and you care for her, she makes you happy. It doesn’t matter what species it is, she’s important to you! that’s like saying “aw darn my puppy is growing up, time to get a new one!” It’s your finances and clearly you’re responsible about it. Your mom needs to not be so one-track minded ######


Prompt:
A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.

I LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.

To be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.

WIBTA if I said I want to keep them?

Quick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that "you should always help your family no matter what". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ######

Response:
 NTA reply  “are you talking about the books you gave me years ago? I thought that was a birthday present. You want my birthday present back?” Make her look like the asshole here.

Edit: also your friend probably wants them back because she doesn’t want to tell the original owner that she gave them away. ######


Prompt:
I (33/f) was recently dating a guy (29/m) and spending a lot of time at his house. He lives with his brother (33/m) and his brother's girlfriend, K, (28/f) was there quite often.  She and I had quite a bit in common; the biggest thing being we are both in long term recovery from substance abuse ( I go to NA and she goes to AA).  We found each other and Facebook and had quite a few mutual friends. Over the past few months we've gotten really close and I like this woman a lot.

Well, my ex has been struggling with depression and insecurities and broke up with me on Saturday (which just so happened to be my birthday).  I am not sure if we are getting back together or even if I'm interested in getting back together with him at this point. I'm still very much in my feelings about the break up.

Regardless of my feelings towards my ex, I'd like to remain friends with K.  We shared a lot of silly things such as a shared sense of humor, similar style, vaping, and media taste. The biggest thing however was our recovery. Because of the pandemic in person meetings have been cancelled and we now do meetings over Zoom. So she is the only person in recovery that I've seen since early March and the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled. This is in our literature, but I've found it especially true in my life.

I'd like to message her on Facebook and let her know that even though my ex and I are no longer together I'd like to remain friends. Possibly get coffee or hit meetings together when we are able to. I have no plans to say anything disparaging about my ex, because I do think he's a good person and care about him, but that doesn't mean things will work out between us.

I do see where this could make things awkward for a lot of parties involved and wonder if I reach out wibta? ######

Response:
 NTA Remaining friends with people you made from within the relationship is absolutely fine.

I can possibly see how your ex may not like it, if he is insecure etc he may get paranoid about you speaking about him.

I had a similar issue, my ex got more and more insistent I stop being friends with his friends gf because it was hurting him - took me a little while to realise that that was HIS problem. NOT being her friend would have hurt me... it sounds like losing her would hurt you.

Its great that you are considering your ex's feelings but dont put them above yours. He broke up with you.

Also to add in - the decision on if you are friends or not is ultimately down to you and her, any other outside voices weighing in would be 'disrespectful'*3 to the relationship you have built together. Talk to her, see how she feels.

(Said by somebody with anxiety and clinical depression so I do have an understanding of what he is experiencing)

Disrespectful *3 isn't quite what I mean but couldn't think of a better word. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend is pretty pissed at me. She likes playing Tiktok videos out loud on her phone constantly. It is honestly a really big petpeeve of mine when people play videos out loud on their phone, I can't really explain why. It just always feels obnoxious. I asked her if she could wear headphones or earbuds or play it somewhere else. She felt this was unfair, and that I was being controlling. To me it felt like a simple compromise. I know this doesnt seem like an important issue, but it caused a big argument. Am I being unfair by letting my petpeeve get in the way of her entertainment, or should she consider my sanity when playing videos out loud? ######

Response: NTA Relationships are about compromise. Have you considered losing your hearing? ######


Prompt:
My brother in law (wife’s sister’s husband)is a rehabilitated meth abuser. It seems like my sister in law will be moving back in with him and my MIL would like us to start planning the upcoming post-pandemic holidays.

I’m considering putting down a firm, “Absolutely not.” My daughter is 1 and I just don’t trust him.

He was caught with meth in his golf bag a year ago and begrudgingly went to rehab. He has been clean for about six months. Before this he was just a general jerk. He was exhausting to be around. He would make a scene about anything to get attention. IE: How his drink was prepared, how much crab was in his crab cake, etc. His racism became such a norm that I felt myself becoming desensitized. IE: “I’ve never met a met a Maria who wasn’t a maid”. His range of obnoxious and immature behavior had a wide scope and could go on for paragraphs.

We never bonded before drugs came into the picture. He would take cheap shots and come up with odd blatant lies when my wife and I would make any effort to bond with him over the last 12 years. For example, I told him about some things from infantry training and he interrupted me to go on about a time he went skiing from a helicopter. That story he interrupted me to tell had never happened. He has this odd habit of being shitty and/or lying in public but then apologizing/confessing in private when he gets you alone.

In short, I didn’t want this immature jerk around my daughter before I found out he was a drug abuser.  Now I’m drawing a strict rule but it will have an adverse effect on my In laws who understandably want the entire family together.

AITA and being too harsh or do I have a leg to stand on? I would also appreciate hearing from rehabilitated people who were on the receiving end of being cut out by family members. ######

Response:
 NTA Regardless of the relatively new rehabilitation, which is absolutely enough of a reason, literally everything else you've said about him makes me want to keep MY kids away from him!

Let your daughter and in-laws have special times when he isn't around, that's a completely acceptable compromise, but keep that racist asshat away from your precious babe! ######


Prompt:
So, my mom doesn't really do boundaries.  I was assigned female at birth but identify as male.  Because of the pandemic I haven't been able to start things that I planned to start.  Ever since I started puberty she does this thing where she is in the bathroom while I shower.

It started with her coming in and going to the bathroom while I'm showering.  But now that I'm out of the closet, she tends to come in right after I've started my shower.  She will not only go to the bathroom while I'm showering, but also brush her teeth and complain at me about my dad, who is her ex-husband.

I end up having to tell her to get out most of the time.  She doesn't seem to understand why I won't dry off in the shower while she keeps talking at me.  I feel like she's waiting to see me naked so that she can see if I've done anything to "damage" my body, as she puts it.  It makes me really uncomfortable.

She insists it's perfectly normal for mothers to be in the bathroom while their kids are showering but I'm 21 now.  And she thinks it's fine for her to be in there because she "grew me inside of her".  She can't see my reasoning for why it makes me uncomfortable, no matter how many times I try to explain it to her.

AITA for not wanting her to come into the bathroom while I'm showering? ######

Response: NTA regardless of gender or identity or any of that. You're not comfortable being naked in the same room as her. That's it. That's all that is required for her to be an asshole for intruding. Doesn't matter that it's her house or that she birthed you. She is being not only disrespectful but also a bit creepy. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my sister knows my main. I am 20F and she is 30. I live at home with my parents and she and her boyfriend live about a half an hour away in an apartment.

So the backstory is I have suffered from disordered eating and eating disorders since I was 15. It was really bad in my last year of high school but when I started college I told my family about my struggles and started to get help. I was doing alright for a while although I am still slightly underweight (5’4, 100 lbs) - it’s not as bad as I once was (at my lowest I hovered between 79 and 80lbs).

My sister knows about my struggles. She is not overweight but at the high end of a healthy weight looking to lose some pounds. She always talks to me about how much weight she’s lost or how she’s “good” for not drinking any alcohol or eating treats. I have told her I am proud of her for getting healthy and that I am always up to talking about cooking healthy foods and things like that with her I don’t want to talk about weight, numbers, dieting, cutting out foods with her.  She does not listen.

Finally yesterday she was going on about how she was down 6 lbs and it was thanks to not eating the Oreos she’d bought and pawing them off on me cuz she didn’t need those calories (my favourites tbh). I was annoyed she was disregarding my feelings about weight and calories and numbers. Finally I said “Amos told me he’s up 4 lbs. Poor guy. Not enough exercise for him!” Amos is her dog.

She got really mad at me for disregarding her hard work and comparing her weight loss to the hypothetical weight gain of a dog. I reminded her she disrespected my feelings about weight loss and calorie talk and reminded her I had disordered eating which made it for me to hear those things.

She hasn’t talked to me since. Maybe I overstepped. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA recovery from an eating disorder can be a long and hard path. It can takes years to fully recover and it still doesn't stop it being triggered again in the future.

Your sister is either incredibly ignorant, or worse, just doesn't care.

She was a major asshole talking about things that can potentially trigger a relapse, it's ok to be proud of being healthy, but there was no need to go onto details and mention the things she did.

Is she in the habit of being so thoughtless and/or playing the victim?

Congratulations on your recovery, that's not easy, but it sounds like you're doing great, despite your sister being an insensitive ass. ######


Prompt:
I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months.

A was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.

2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind.

My original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA quite the opposite you researched halal food for her you respected her religious choices and catered for that.

Imagine if you hadn't provided halal food for her she would have kicked up a fuss about it saying you were discriminating against Muslims

Deffo NTA ######


Prompt: So me (m18) and my ex girlfriend (f18) of a little over 8 months broke up about two weeks ago. For context, the breakup was pretty mutual and peaceful because we are both getting ready to go to college and didn’t think we could do long distance. Since then, she made a tik tok with several pictures and videos of me followed by some videos of her crying as a way for her to “cope” apparently. So far it has over 1700 views (I know it’s not a lot for tik tok but still wow) and it has been growing everyday. I have had over 20 people, from friends to people I barely talk to, send it to me asking if I had seen it and told me how inappropriate they thought it was. I totally agree and I asked her, with an emphasis on this, POLITELY, to take it down, and she doesn’t want to. I talked to a mutual friend of ours about it and I could not seem to reason with her, or my ex, that she should take down the video, and they kept turning it back on me as if I was the jerk and should let her do what she wants even though I do not feel comfortable with the video being up. AITA for wanting her to take it down? ######

Response: NTA Putting your image online without your consent is just uncalled for and for what seems like just for internet points is kinda scummy. I'm sure you can contact tic tok and ask for them to take it down if you explain that it uses your image without your consent. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not wanting to my brother to move in with me?

I (f24) rent a house from my parents with my husband and my daughter(6 years old) my brother(26years old) is being discharged from the navy for some mental issues (extreme depression and substance abuse issues) we have an extra room in our house that my parents offered to him without talking to me.
 The reason I dont want him here is because I was abused by him for a long time as a child, I have just started going to therapy to finally face that trauma since nothing was ever done for me as a child when I finally told my parents. My parents didn’t even let me put a lock on my door since he’d usually come in while I was sleeping I thought it was a reasonably measure. My dad still claims he was never told until I was an adult. I dont want my brother around my daughter and I dont want to be around him while I am finally working on dealing with this.
AITA if I tell him and my parents that I dont want him here? ######

Response: NTA Protect yourself from this person at all costs. ######


Prompt:
My cat, [Vader](https://www.flickr.com/photos/69228620@N03/49833377478/in/dateposted-public/), loves to stare at people in the bathroom.

He gets into his cat loaf position and just watches, creepily and unblinking.

It drives my husband crazy.

The other day he forgot to close the door and Vader was doing his creepy watch. He asked me to close the door. Instead I joined Vader on the floor and creepily watched him until he threw toilet paper at me

He says it wasn't funny but I disagree ######

Response: NTA probably one of the funniest things I've read. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 17 year old male but I enjoy doing some things that are traditionally feminine, such as painting my nails or letting my sister do my makeup sometimes. I simply like doing it and that's how I've always been.

So anyways, our church is opening this sunday and my parents want to go to watch my cousin get baptistised. I don't mind going at all but today my dad told me that I need to take the nail polish off before sunday.

It's just plain black nail polish so I don't understand why it's such an issue. Nobody is going to be looking at my nails.

My sister told me that I should just leave it and let our parents fuck themselves and that's what I did. My dad saw that I hadn't taken it off and asked why. I told him I wasn't going to take it off and that I didn't care what he thought.-

I told him that I'm not going if I can't wear what I want and he said that I'm being stubborn and childish. He said that I'm "ruining my cousins event" but I honestly doubt that he'll care if I'm there or not.

AITA for not going to church? ######

Response: NTA pretty nails shouldn’t be a feminine thing. Rock your beautiful cuticles my friend. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month know. We have gotten very emotionally close and slept together one time.
Last night he texted me that he had something serious to tell me, something he should have told me before. I reassured him that he could trust me, and this exchange went back and forth for about half an hour. My heart was racing because I had no idea what he was going to tell me.

He finally tells me that he was born intersex, and his parents decided for him to have surgery as baby. He said he has felt a lot of insecurity around it and was afraid I wouldn’t accept him. I was surprised and a little hurt that he wouldn’t have told me that before we slept together, but I was very kind and understanding in return because I have a friend who is intersex. It didn’t change how I felt about him.

Finally he asks if he can call me. When he does he asks if he call tell me one more thing, “April fools”. I was pissed and told him that it’s not something funny to joke about. He has apologized in a genuine way, but I’m not over it. I feel like it was tasteless to joke about that, and he really made me have empathy for him and the joke crossed a line(especially since we have slept together). AITA for not getting over his joke? ######

Response:
 NTA pranks are suppose to be funny, whats funny about some elaborate lie over their gender identity and the way he played it out

Its emotionally manipulative ######


Prompt:
13M.

My Dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her Jess, started spending the night recently. Before he met her, every night, I’d lay in my dad’s bed with my head on his chest. He’d stroke my hair and we’d talk for about an hour before I went to bed. I did this the first few days and she didn’t say anything until about an hour ago. She asked me to please stop doing it when she’s around because the affection should go to her when she’s here, but it’s okay to do it when she’s gone. She told me that I made her feel like she wasn’t even there and my dad didn’t care about her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA PLEASE TELL YOUR DAD ######


Prompt:
Well, today is mother's day at least in my country anyways.( I am sure I just reminded some of you) It's also my mother's birthday today. So its super special.

Because she's turning 50 I thought l would plan something. So from last month I have been texting my brother (23M) to make sure that he is available this weekend and to home so we could celebrate. ( he lives far away due to school) I started a month in advance because l knew that he must be nagged to do certain things.

I ordered the cake and paid for it with my own money. I even booked a restaurant reservation( but due to COVID that failed)

I bought Lillys for her( they are her favourite) and helped my little brother ( 7) to make a card for her.

Finally after a whole month of begging and nagging my brother agreed to stay over. He kept saying things like he is super busy and may not be able to make it.

So on the day( today) my little brother and l woke up super early to make her her favourite meal. We tried waking up my big brother but he wouldn't budge.

When my mother woke up she was so happy. The problem arose when during breakfast, my mother asked who planned all this. I was in the process of saying it was a group effort, even though my big brother did nothing but show up. My big brother cut me off and started taking credit for the whole thing. He even said he paid for the cake!

I said nothing then because my mother was super happy and the moment was about her. Later on however, when my brother and l were alone, l confronted him.

When l expressed how I didn't appreciate his stunt at breakfast,  he started saying the way l was being selfish because the moment was about our mother.

So AITA for getting mad or just petty?
I am (18F) for context? ######

Response: NTA please let your mother privately know how much effort you put into it. I’m honestly mad for you. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for format, on mobile.
I’ll try to keep it short. This has been an ongoing argument mostly between myself (19f) and my mom (50f). I want kids, but I don’t want to carry them myself. Part of my problem is that I’m having difficulty explaining EXACTLY why, it’s just not something I’m comfortable doing with my body. I’m a lesbian, so eventually I’ll (hopefully) end up marrying another woman. When it comes to kids, I’ve said that either my future wife can be pregnant if she wants and it comfortable with it, or we can adopt. I am completely fine with either option, I’ll love my kid(s) all the same. Family is made by choice, not blood in my eyes.
  My mom says this makes me self-centered and wimpy because I’m “expecting someone else to do all the hard work for me,” and “I’m pushing aside women who are incapable of having babies/have not other options and not allowing them to adopt.” Also on her side, it means “I have no respect for anyone who gives birth.”
  I feel like I’m living in the handmaid’s tale, she feels like I’m a self centered prick. Honestly she’s been railing against so much it’s just making me doubt myself and whether I’m really valid, because I do (as far as I know) have a perfectly functioning reproductive system, and some killer looks to pass down, so who am I to deny the world more? ######

Response: NTA please don't let your mom -- or *anyone --* make you feel bad about this. It's completely your decision whether you carry a child, and you really don't need any explanation for it beyond simply not feeling comfortable ######


Prompt:
This seems like a straightforward YTA kind of thread.

See the thing is I turned 21 when everything was in lockdown. It was a bummer but I get it. My close friend (26f) and I had this plan to visit the city, reserve a nice room and celebrate and postpone it. It was suppose to be next week then my friend announced she'll probably get her  period next week, so we have to cancel.

That seems odd, right? Well my friend can, but refuses to wear tampons. They make her feel immoral. One of the big activities was visiting a water theme park but if she gets her period, she can't go swim. Again, no matter what she'll refuse to wear a tampon even for an hour.

This sort of irked me because whenever we plan a trip for her birthday she makes sure she books the room during the earlier days of the month to avoid this problem. For my trip she booked it on a later week. She says simply we can just reschedule, because she gets weeks off, but for me my work isn't that easy. I need to put my request in at least 2 months in advance. I also take care of my ill grandma and had to pull some strings to make sure my sister would be her caretaker these days.

My friend seems to have no care about any of this. I've told her we could just skip the park but she says that's what she's looking forward to the most. I'm upset and stressed right now and I don't know if I have a right to be. I know it's not something controllable but she's often so aware of this and it feels like she put all my concern on the backburner. ######

Response: NTA period end of story ######


Prompt:
About 2 months ago I got arrested, it wasn't my fault, my friend was driving and he was speeding while having about 2 pounds of weed on him.  I had no idea he had that on him but  cause I was an "accomplice" I got sent to a holding cell for the night before they realized I did nothing and let me go.

My sister has been making fun of me for this mistake for the past 2 months now, calling me the "drug addict" and a "dumbass for going to jail" and some other names.  I have had enough cause SHE was the one who a year back did cocaine right on our dinner table when our parents were away.

At the dinner table it was only me, my older sister (the one that makes fun of me) and younger sister.  She called me her "druggie little brother" and I had enough and said "At least I don't....." and stopped myself and and fake snorted a line.  She got really mad and started cussing me out but my dad told her to stop and she just went into her room without finishing dinner.

I didn't tell but I guess my younger sister did tell and my parents were NOT happy, they pay for her phone so they took her off their plan and she has to now pay half of her car insurance.  She thinks I'm he one who told them and has been pissed at me to stay the least.  I don't think I have done anything wrong, but AITA? ######

Response: NTA people who live in glass houses... ######


Prompt: He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ######

Response: NTA people shouldn’t even treat waitstaff like that, he was rude ######


Prompt: My wife got very mad at me for buying a cot and sleeping in the dining room because of her gaming late at night. When she gets done with her work she likes to game and that is cool by me, I even do a little bit of gaming myself. The only issue is that I have to go to bed because I have to be up early and she will play survival games that scare the hell out of her and she will jump so hard and scream like a hornet just stung her in the cortoid artery. When this happens I damn near get thrown off the bed and wake up in a full blown panic attack. She is now mad and saying that I am over-reacting. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA People need sleep, that isn't debatable.

> jump so hard and scream like a hornet just stung her in the cortoid artery. When this happens I damn near get thrown off the bed and wake up in a full blown panic attack. She is now mad and saying that I am over-reacting.

...what? Screaming scares sleeping people. What the hell is wrong with her? ######


Prompt: My MIL (mother in law) is coming in 2 weeks and staying with us for 2 days while she visits the Eye Hospital...which I was completely fine with. However, she called today and wants to bring 3 of the grandchildren and extend her stay for 4 nights. We already have a 15 month old and 2 children from my husband's previous marriage that we will also have the same week. My husband is stoked but I'm not so keen. AITA for saying no? ######

Response: NTA people are dying because of socializing. You shouldn't have anyone stay in your home, especially if they're visiting a hospital and aren't a medical professional.  Tell them to support a local hotel and meet them in a park for a socially distant picnic. Chances are none of them even bother wearing masks. ######


Prompt:
I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.

Personally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list.

And, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.

I have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA parents are SUPPOSED to wipe their kids asses. You sign up for that when you CHOOSE to have kids.

No one chooses to be born, therefore no one chooses to have parents. Not your responsibility.

Hire a home care nurse who actually wants and is trained to do that job. ######


Prompt:
Ok so starting out, I have never been very maternal except with my dog. Little kids gross me out. I dont want to hold your baby. I just dont like kids. I think people who choose to be mothers are beautiful and strong but it's just not for me. My husband feels the same way and we have talked about if we wanted kids we would want to adopt and give a child a loving home when we are both emotionally/mentally mature enough for a child.

Next, I have a terrible fear of getting pregnant. It haunts me. If I were to get pregnant it would put all my dreams and ambitions on hold. I dont want to put my body through that. I'm not ready for it.

My husband and I have been thinking of me getting a bilateral salpingectomy. I am the one who came to this decision and my husband supports it. I dont want him to get a vasectomy because they can come undone and I can still get pregnant. But with this procedure I can no longer get pregnant "naturally" but I still have my ovaries, so I can be insiminated if we change our minds (doubt it).

We have been talking about adopting for 2 years if we wanted kids and my dad and his mom seem on board with that idea. But my mom just says "no no no" and "you need to start having kids asap before you find out you cant have any" and "when are you giving me a grandchild??" And then my husband's stepdad (whom I've known for 2 years) is telling me to have kids so he can have grandkids and makes all these creepy baby jokes to me. I've told them both I dont want kids and my mom has flipped out on me, calling me selfish and that I'm going to waste my life by not having kids. His stepdad just undermines my opinion and says "yes you do, you just dont know it".

A part of my feels bad because it's like I'm "cheating" them out of being grandparents but if I had a child for that reason it would be wrong and not fair to either me or the child. Would I be an a**hole to get this procedure and not have kids? Am I being "selfish"? ######

Response: NTA other people are not entitled to make life-altering decisions for you like getting pregnant and raising a child. It’s super frustrating when people try to pressure their adult children into having kids because they feel “owed” for some reason. ######


Prompt:
So a couple of years ago my twin brother Ric and I met his now wife Nikki through mutual friends. I liked Nikki and asked her out, she said yes, we had coffee and a great time. I asked if she wanted to go out again, she apologized and told me that she thinks I’m a great guy that’s why she gave going out with me a shot but for some reason it’s Ric that she’s attracted to (Ric and I are identical twins).

I didn’t expect that but it was fine because it wasn’t as if I fell in love with Nikki at first sight and was already planning the rest of our lives together. I also thought it was cool that there’s this awesome girl who likes my brother because Ric was always the quiet and introverted one and didn’t go out much. So I set them up, they clicked instantly and last month they got married after dating for a few years.

A lot of the wedding guests know how Ric and Nikki got together so I didn’t think it would be an issue when in my best man speech I joked that Nikki knew which twin she wanted from the get go and recounted how her shooting me down during our date led to me setting her and Ric up. Nikki laughed while Ric said that I became his favorite brother after I set them up (we have no other brothers).

However, after the wedding my girlfriend was mad and told me that it was completely unnecessary to bring up that I went out with Nikki. She said it’s disrespectful to everyone and I should’ve just said that I set them up. I think it’s more amusing to know the whole story and that my girlfriend is over reacting (it was one time and literally all Nikki and I did was drink coffee and talk) but I wanna know how people who don’t know us look at this. ######

Response:
 NTA only because it was a commonly known joke and the bride and groom didn't mind.

Usually it's not OK to mention that you dated the bride before the wedding, but this seems like an exception to that. ######


Prompt:
I have wanted to grow a beard for years now, but always thought it didn’t suit me.

With the lockdown, I haven’t really bothered shaving. With the lack of barbers, I shaved my head the other day only to find I really love how I look with the beard and shaved head.

My girlfriend keeps telling me to shave it, she says people will think it looks awful and that it’s embarrassing/unfair on her for me to look this way. I genuinely prefer how I look this way.

I don’t really care what other people think of my appearance, and I feel my beard as comforting and a confidence booster. AITA? ######

Response: NTA on principle. I'm sure (I hope) you don't get a say on her appearance, so she doesn't get a say on yours. Granted, she does have the right to be less attracted to you based on a change in your appearance, but that's a topic for another discussion. ######


Prompt:
TL DR: regardless of how you feel about the covid quarantine, my husband was secretly going to bars. He didn’t tell anyone in our family including his elderly high risk parents who came to visit on Father’s Day because they thought we had been staying at home, so I told him he had to call them and tell them the truth before they came back over this afternoon.

So, we’ve been married for 7 years, have 2 toddlers, and my husband still doesn’t seem to understand his actions affect other people. We’ve been quarantining since March, but he is “essential” so his work schedule has been normal. On Father’s Day his parents (both over 70yrs old) came over for the 1st time to surprise him and we all sat down and ate together since they felt it was an acceptable minimal risk since he only goes to work.
Well, I saw text messages last night that he’s been going to bars with friends after work.

I’m upset that he’s been lying to me, and I don’t know what to do about that.
I’m upset that he’s possibly been putting our family’s health at risk, and I don’t know what to do about that.
I’m also upset that his elderly parents were here because we told them we were safe, and apparently that was a lie, so I told him to call them and tell them he lied or else I would.

He said I’m an asshole for dragging them into our business. He lied to them too. I think that is their business. His dad is supposed to come over again today-I think he deserves to know the truth in order to reevaluate the risk before coming over.

I think I’m protecting our vulnerable parents and children. He says I’m an asshole trying to control everyone, be he’s also already established he’s willing to lie to get what he wants. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA omg you have THREE toddlers! ######


Prompt:
So a little backstory
My parents are split up but not fully divorced so they haven’t filled out all the paperwork. My dad (d) is a lawyer so he is quite well payed and and my mum (m) works in a nutrition company so she makes medium wage. Because of how boring life is right now I’m trying to save up to buy an xbox. My parents won’t let me sell any of my current items so I obviously have to do chores (I’m not old enough to get a job.) I’ve done stuff like walk my dog, clean the windows and vacuum at m’s house all for £5 or less each. D paid £10 for just the windows (£1 per window) so obviously I wanted to do the chores at his but m has a huge shed that hasn’t been entered in years! So the words m gave me were “if you can empty this shed and sort the items i will give £10” i thought this was an ok price so i cleared the shed and sorted the items (25 min work) I ask m for the money but she says not until i wash the items (the shed was filled with cobwebs and insects.) I was annoyed but i asked for the cleaning products but she said she didn’t have any. So i had to buy the hose... with the money I hadn’t earnt yet. Plus bug killer, scrubs and new bin bags! i was losing money so i said no. M then said she wasn’t paying me until i did. So i was practically paying her £2.49 to clean out, sort and wash HER shed. I have a natural phobia of bugs so I already hated it but this was ridiculous. I refused and now m has taken all the money i earnt as a punishment plus my ps3 (i prefer xbox but this was all we could get.) D is taking M’s side but I think he’s scared which I don’t blame him for. So Reddit am i the ahole? Also this is my first story on here so sorry if it isn’t good for this subreddit. ######

Response: NTA oh boy, you get to pay to clean the shed, what a great deal... the reasonable thing would be for your parents to purchase the cleaning supplies or to compensate you for them after you were finished. ######


Prompt: So long story short my friend from high school has 6 kids and she takes care of none of them. The last time I went ober to her house it was disgusting dirty diapers on the floor trash piled up so high that it was a maze just to get to the couch. The kids were so dirty it looked like they hadnt been bathed in at least a week. It is bad enough that she has 6 kids crammed in a 2 bedroom trailer but she also decided to get 2 dogs that she now doesnt take care of. The dogs have fleas so bad that the kids now have fleas crawling in their hair. That was all bad enough, but i reached my limit when the kids started talking about their private places and how they knew it sometimes felt good when other people touched you there. Former friend recently let her new bf move in with them so its super concerning to me that the kids might be being abused along with being neglected. So I called cps and made a report. Somehow it got out and former friend messaged me freaking out calling me every name in the book and saying that I am a horrible person, and that she needs those kids to survive. So tell me AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA of course. The children's welfare comes first.

The better thing is this: If there's any hope for her at all as a parent, CPS will help her. (To be honest, it sounds like there isn't, but they really do try to help people be better parents before they take the kids.) ######


Prompt:
Throwaway for privacy reasons.

I am bisexual. I have dated both men and women in the past but for the past 8 years I have been in a heterosexual relationship and I have biological children with my partner. Last night I was talking about how I would like to watch the new Disney + movie “Out” with our oldest because I thought it might be good to open up some dialogue about gay people and families. I think this is important for a lot of reasons but one being that his uncle recently came out and I would like to talk to him about it.

My partner scoffed and said my son was too young (he’s 7), and they didn’t understand why I was all of a sudden passionate about gay rights. I said, “well considering I am bisexual, I’ve always been about gay rights.”  My partner said I was an AH to call myself bisexual when I was in a heterosexual relationship and I’d clearly made my choice. He also said that since I wasn’t in a same sex relationship currently I could only call myself an ally. So, AITA for calling myself bisexual still? ######

Response: NTA of course. Many if not most bi people are in relationships... they are all still bi. I don’t even understand how it’s up for debate. ######


Prompt:
So back story.

My parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.

Never paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.

Recently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.

I've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.

My relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates

(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)

Am i wrong for feeling like this ? ######

Response: NTA of course. If he can't abide by the 'tradition' of caring for his children why should you abide by this one? Imo this man has already caused you enough unhappiness that a year of denying yourself is unneccesary ######


Prompt:
My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes.

When I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude.

Now I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol.

I just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######

Response: NTA of course there’s no excuse for rudeness especially when she refuses to acknowledge it and apologize. Sounds like her true colors are coming out now that she thinks she has something to blame her bad behavior on. ######


Prompt:
I was dating my wife for 8 years before I proposed. We lived together for most of that time and it just didn't feel like it would make any difference. Finally I proposed and just a month after the proposal we found out that she was pregnant. With that discovery we decided to postpone plans to get married until after he was born and everything was settled in a bit.

Fast forward to our wedding with our baby. While we had him by our side for the majority of it, every now and then a family member would volunteer to watch him for a short bit. Queue my wife's mother saying that she wanted to watch him for a little while.

Now I can tell many stories about why the MIL is not a responsible adult, but I'll keep it simple for the sake of this post. I thought it'd be fine since there were people everywhere and in my head "I had to start trusting her at some point". I was wrong and I'm happy that it stayed as tame as it did.

My son was teething and gave her a small bite on the MILs arm. I didn't see it but apparently she put him into the wet grass and just walked away saying "shit, he's lucky I didn't throw him". She left him there with no one close by watching him. My mother saw this from a distance and scooped him up. She told me about it later.

So... I didn't much trust this person beforehand but the event solidified my stance. It's been four years now. I never talked to the MIL about what happened. I just told the wife that the MIL will never watch him or even be left alone in the same room as him. She wasn't happy about it but didn't argue against it either. When the MIL has offered to watch him I dance around the issue and I think that she has gotten wise to the fact that even though I'm friendly to her, I wouldn't trust her to make a sandwich for my son let alone watch him.

All of this has soured relations a bit but frankly, that hasn't changed anything for me. So... AITA for never letting the MIL watch her grandson? ######

Response: NTA obviously. You have to do what’s best for your son. ######


Prompt: I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ######

Response: NTA obviously. My goodness ######


Prompt:
My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks.

But recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard.

For reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching.

He is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed.

I want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ######

Response: NTA obviously. It's your property not his. If he won't take a hint you can give him a heads up you're putting up a small decorative fence on the property line so he will have to move his dog. Good fences make good neighbors. ######


Prompt:
Literally 2 minutes since this happened, on mobile warning, the usual.

My younger brother (14) keeps a drink next to his bed, pretty normal. This drink is in a plastic watermelon cup.

Now, because he's incompetent, he "has to" have someone else fill it and pass it to him (he can do it on his own, he just refuses to 99% of the time).

When he wants it filled, he will shout. What will he shout you ask?
"OI, BOY! WATERMELON!"

The irony of a 14 year old calling his older brother "boy" is not lost on me, but I deal with it.

So far, I have described a normal night; now for what happened tonight.

Tonight, he screamed at me with the windows open while I was half-running to the bathroom before I shat myself (he was in there for 15 minutes while I filled the dishwasher); so I responded "not now, I'm busy".

His response to this was to: jump out of bed, shout again, and throw the cup as hard as he could at the now locked bathroom door.

Now, tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm already pretty certain that he's an asshole at this point, but now enters my mum.

About 5 minutes later (nice crap, hand washing, and tooth brushing) I emerged from the bathroom and began to walk along the landing when my mum said "are you going to fill his melon now?"

I responded with a quick "no, I'm not going to stand for him shouting and throwing things at me to get what he wants."

To this, she sighed, walked to the bathroom, and filled it herself (less than 30 seconds). While doing this she said "you're an arsehole you know. You should have just done it and not made me do it."

[4 minutes later]

Mum walks past my door and says "it would make life so much easier if you weren't an arsehole to your brother all the time"

I didn't respond, so she repeated it louder.

"Mum, I heard the first time"
"Well you should have responded then, arsehole"

And she walked away.

At this point, I might as well change my legal name to arsehole considering how often I get called it, but oh well.

Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA obviously. Is there a reason this teenager can’t fill up his own cup? ######


Prompt:
My father is an abusive man. I cannot remember a time when he wasn't abusing me. My entire childhood was a living nightmare until I turned 16 and I got to go my aunt's home for my summer internship because our house was too far from my job. My aunt was the polar opposite of my father and the memories that I made with her are some of the best memories of my life.

I'm 23 now and my aunt just passed and she left me her home and a sizable amount of money. She wrote me a letter explaining why she left the money to me and I don't want to let her down.

My dad believes that I should pay him back for the money he spent on my education and that means living with him and paying for everything in his house until I get married or he dies. He has been trying to intimidate me into using the money my aunt left me to settle my "debt" and to will my aunt's home to him because it's in much better shape than his house and he "deserves" it because she was his sister.

My father relies on my income to keep the house running and I've been fine with paying for everything up until now but I think this is a step too far.

WIBTA if I moved out and cut off all contact with him knowing full well that he cannot afford to live in the style that he is accustomed to? ######

Response: NTA NTA NTA. You owe him NOTHING. Get the fuck out of there. ######


Prompt:
AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?

He pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog).

He makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February.
I asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?

Edit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ######

Response:
 NTA NTA NTA.

He is spending not his free money, but YOUR MONEY on these parties. He took money OUT of a combined savings account that he refuses to put any money towards in order to party. He is not spending his own money to go on parties, he is spending YOUR'S and then refusing to replace it. And on top of that, he has an extra 800 a month to freely spend. Why didn't he pay for the party with all that cushiony money? Unless he had already recklessly spent it all.

op, WAKE UP. This is not a man who cares about your future. This is not a man who cares about your free time. This is not a man who shares the same values with you when it comes to preparing for the worst. This is not a man who wants to invest in his future WITH you, in your LIFE together.

I highly suggest having a talk about values with him, and if that gets nowhere maybe try therapy, or having a mediator to help.

ETA: if you feel the need to spend all your disposable income on savings because he refuses to put any money down, he is in the wrong. He is the one asking YOU to give up all your free money while he blows it. Instead, you can both set up a situation where you equally save, and enjoy your leftover money together. If he is not willing to do that, he is in the wrong. ######


Prompt:
So we’re both vegan and have been for years.

Last year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have.

She’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food.

Unfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse.

We went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets.

We’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it.

We’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not.

They’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat.

We don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away.

This has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat.

Are we the assholes here?

[cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/QFng2By.jpg) ######

Response:
 NTA NTA NTA!

Cats are obligate carnivores as you rightly stated. Good for you, don’t listen to your vegan friends, you are doing the best for your kitty 🐱 ######


Prompt:
This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.

So I’m just wondering, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA NTA NTA NTA
No one has right to touch you in any sense without your approval. If you say no, it means no. No matter to whom. ######


Prompt:
Background on me: I'm a 16 year old trans guy. I'm on testosterone, the medication in this scenario.What's going on:I have a T shot every Sunday at 7. I was late because I wasn't paying attention to time, no big deal since I do it myself right? I go downstairs to get my stuff to do my shot and everything is there *except* for my actual testosterone vial. I ask about it, cause you know; it's medication. My mom tells me that if I want to take my shot I have to do chores that I normally do before bed. I got pissed and went to my bedroom because that shit isn't cool. My dad comes up a little later and asked me if I knew she meant I had to do my chores and not an essay that she also brought up. I said yeah and he called me unreasonable for saying I was just gonna be super late and or miss my shot this week.
EDIT: Yes, I know I should do chores, I'm not an idiot. The issue is the fact that it was never a requirement before and that has suddenly changed. Chores don't get done til right before bed because if I don't do them then or as soon as I wake up I forget to. My mom gets pissed if I forget to do them and it ends with me not being able to do things like get a job and such. ######

Response: NTA NTA NTA NTA And I really wouldn’t trust anyone saying otherwise. Withholding medication is serious shit, and clearly not at all related to chores being done - it’s a power trip. It’s not okay under any circumstances, and it’s obscene to be saying it’s a reasonable punishment for a teenager putting off chores. ######


Prompt:
So...like, in my mind I don't think I'm an asshole but my family is treating me like I have disowned my father for this so here goes:

Around 2017, I cut all of my hair off. All of it. I stopped getting relaxers and let my hair go natural because I really wanted to try it, and I LOVE it. I have kept my hair short and proper since, and I feel a lot more freer with my hair in it's natural, healthy state.

My father, on the other hand, HATES it. Like, despises it. Everytime he has seen me, for like the past year or so, he has to comment on my hair. I've always been nice about it, laughed off his jokes about it, and kind of shrugged them off, but I'm going to be honest, it's started to piss me off.

Today, I walked into the room where he was, and the first thing he says to me is: "When are you going to let your hair grow out and get a relaxer?" Y'all, I'm on my period and I'm cramping so I just let him have it. I told him that I have agency over my own body and that I like the style so I'm not changing it. He looked at me and laughed, then mocked me like a three year old. He was like "You don't have to be rude," and I'm like, "I'm not being rude, I just don't like you talking about my body and my hair choices. I don't tell you what to do with your hair." He looked over at my mom and was like "Why is she so rude?" and she told me that "I wasn't being nice" and I just...I don't know what to think? He says things about my weight and stuff sometimes too and I very rarely say anything to him but the one time I defend myself...I'm the asshole?

Am I really the asshole or am I just...being a bitch about it? ######

Response:
 NTA NTA NTA !!!

I relate to this SO much. Ever since I was 12 I’ve told my parents I want to shave my head and keep it short. My natural hair is extremely thick and very curly, which makes it a pain in the ass to take care of every single day.

When I was 18 I finally just shaved it all off. My parents, catholic and conservative, hated it! Only, my parents liked to not say anything right to my face and pretend they liked it. Once the hair was long enough to touch my shoulders I mentioned shaving again and my mom agreed with a fake smile and dad said something like “just leave the hair alone!” Should’ve seen moms face when I told her I like girls lmao.

Distance is your friend. They’re your parents so I’m sure you don’t want to cut them off, but moving out and getting away from that toxicity is amazing! It’s your hair and nobody, NOBODY, is allowed to tell you what to do with it. Whether it’s weight, hair, tattoos, lifestyle choices, they won’t agree either way.

Do your own thing and try to not let them get to you. Your dad’s an inconsiderate AH and probably won’t change anytime soon. Keep ur chin high and your hair exactly the way you enjoy it. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been writing porn stories for about 2 years now. It’s not huge but I make $750-$1500 dollars a month from it, sometimes even more, which really helps supplement my income. It’s nothing super super hardcore though some of the kinks I guess could be considered “weird.”

I was talking with my boyfriend of about a year and I just casually dropped this information. He got mad at me! But I didn’t think it was a big deal. He seemed to almost think it was a dealbreaker and that it’s super weird that I do this, that only really strange and messed up people write that sort of stuff. He’s not a prude, we’ve had sex, so it’s just all strange to me. AITA for not telling him about it straight off the bat/earlier? ######

Response: NTA NTA NTA - this is YOUR job, YOUR income,  your partner has nothing to say about this. If anything he should be proud people like your writing so much they are willing to pay for it! It's not like you're sleeping around on him, you are just writing! ######


Prompt:
I am very interested to learn how everyone sees this.
My father is dead now for about 10 years. He had been a banker and had offered an (ill advised) investment opportunity - back in the 2000s - to a sort of friend, I'd say more of a buddy, if that makes sense.
The friend made an investment of 500 €, which seemingly was a lot to him at the time (important later).

My father went back to the US and forgot all about his previous life in Germany, where this plays out, he later died there too. He left most of his earthly belongings to his two brothers.

The friend never forgot about his 500 € investment into this stock, the respective company went bankrupt in the late 2000s, without him even noticing. When I met him on the bus only recently, he approached me and asked me to pay him back 'his' 500 €. I was a bit shocked since I didn't even know about his investment - apparently my father had told him this was a totally safe investment opportunity where he'd get back his money any time.

I refused to pay or even split the loss, telling him that the real heirs of my father's estate were in the US. I actually tried to reach out to one of these uncles but was unsuccessful. Apparently the 'friend' is hard pressed for cash after the restaurant his brother maintained had to close, leaving him unemployed and later working as a package delivery driver.

AITA for not paying the friend? He has been giving me death stares every time I saw him since, occasionally trying to make me feel guilty by saying things like: "Well, this money doesn't hurt you like it hurts me."

I do not feel responsible for my father's idiotic investment tipps which he gave to people, plus the people's decisions to follow through with them. Am I under a moral obligation to seek out the guy and pay him? ######

Response: NTA not your problem.  Anyone can say your dad owed me money. ######