Prompt:
So my male (35) friend has a daughter (11) he isn't with her mother anymore and he gets to see his daughter maybe 4 days per fortnight.

I've stayed at his house before and noticed that his daughter insists on sleeping in the same room, or same bed as her dad. It gets to the point where she throws full on tantrums, with crying and hysterics because she claims she can't sleep unless she is sleeping with an adult. She apparently sleeps in the same bed as her mother every night.  So he generally gives in to stop her tantrums.

I find it really odd that she refuses to sleep in her own bed. I've never known another 11 year old that can't sleep in her own bed.

I've tried to talk to him about it very gently in the past but he blows off the conversation and makes excuses for her behaviour or blames it on her mother. His daughter is a very sensitive topic for him and he lashes out whenever someone comments on his daughters weird behaviour.

Would I be an asshole if I told him that it is not normal for an 11 year old to sleep in a bed with her dad and he needs to get her into therapy to address why she won't sleep in her own bed? ######

Response: NTA - if you do it politely and gently. But yeah, this sounds like very abnormal behavior. Realistically, when parents who were together aren't anymore, they should probably get their child in therapy even if they are well adjusted. So, yeah, he should definitely be considering therapy and not excusing the behaviors. ######


Prompt:
I’m an only child and so is my husband and we have a small house and kids. Our parents often put down our tiny, full house. My in-laws arrived shortly after we bought our house with furniture that didn’t fit in their condo even though our house is barely larger than their condo, I wasn’t consulted. My dad gave us an bunch of his furniture he didn’t want. Ok, free furniture, but there’s stuff I don’t like, like a giant chest filled with my MILs student art that must be kept and a case of ivories. I don’t want to be a person who has ivories. But now it’s starting to really irritate me. His house is at least double the square footage of mine with one person and thee unused rooms! And every time I see him he tells me to take more of my dead mom’s stuff, my dead grandma’s stuff. He pushed a big cross on me even though I’m not Christian and the gave it to my kid when I said no thanks. Today he called me and “offered” a large freestanding mirror that has been at my aunt’s house the decade+ grandma has been dead. “No thanks, I don’t have any space for it” and he gets angry. How it’s nice and “I guess she’ll give it to Goodwill”, sniff sniff. Now we have to provide homes for grandma’s stuff in other people’s houses? He has three unused rooms!
AITA for saying no and if they treasure this crap they can find room for it? ######

Response: NTA - if they wanted the items in the family, they’d keep them if you said no. An heirloom that’s been handed down again and again with sentimental meaning, I totally understand. Grandma’s old furniture? Nah fam. ######


Prompt:
So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story.

I tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?

Since people keep asking here is Honey
My baby! https://imgur.com/gallery/bn8300N ######

Response:
 NTA - if the dog responds to it it works. It might take a while for your friend to not use Peanut, but you changed the dog's name, so now that dog is Honey.

Also, can we see Honey :) ######


Prompt:
I (21M) live with my mother (55) and younger sister (16), but I'll be moving out my partner in a month. I have a good relationship with my mother of mutual respect and collaboration, ever since my dad left, we've been a team in keeping the house afloat in term of finances and chores, however, with time, my mother has become messier and messier. What bothers me the most is that she leaves empty bottles, cans and egg shells in the kitchen sink.

I try to do my part but it's a big house and I work full time, I've talked to her multiple times about making my sister help around the house or hiring someone to clean if she's to tired to do things, but she always answers with "maybe" or "we'll see". We've been having ants, roaches and I've seen RATS in the kitchen, and I just get depressed and anxious being here, because I just really, REALLY hate living in this condition.

So one day I send a picture of egg shells and an empty can in the sink to the group chat (were my mother and the rest of my adult siblings are) with something like: "this is why have roaches" to which my siblings answered  with disgusted comments. After a while my mom came a cleaned the kitchen, so every time she leaves trash on the sink, I send a picture and she comes and cleans it. I don't like embarrassing my mother, but I'm tired of telling her that we'll get sick if she keeps leaving shit in the sink! My siblings have told me that I should let it go since I'm moving out soon, but that doesn't change the fact that my mother and my sister will keep living in a shithole if they don't clean more. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - If that's the only way to get her to not be a total slob, then I don't blame you.  I'm no neat freak, but at least I have the sense not to leave garbage lying around.

Should could also be depressed, too.  If this messiness is somewhat new, then something changed with your mom.  You should help her find a therapist, or someone should. ######


Prompt:
I'm an exec at a start-up, due to COVID we needed to lay some people off. Only about 5% of our staff and I was told to make a 1 cut in our operations and strat team. The person I chose to let go is named Sara and is like 23, and has been with us for a year.  On that team we have 5 people and a couple months back we had a happy hour and went to a bar with a bunch of people from our company. Sara got a little tipsy and I was walking by her and a couple of other women in the office on my way to the washroom at the bar when I heard her loudly say that she thinks I have the smallest dick in the office due to me being Asian and not having "big dick energy". This was pretty racist in my opinion but she and the other people didnt notice me pass by and hear this.

I didn't change my attitude towards her or anything in any way since then but when making the layoff today I laid her off because of it. It was basically the same to lay anyone off in the dept, they all work the same and are all talented on the same level and she's a good worker.

I told my buddy this and he just laughed his ass off but called me a bit of an asshole, but I don't think I am, she's racist and obviously you should be more coy about insulting the boss.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - If she's not smart enough to watch what she says around her boss, that's reason enough to let her go. ######


Prompt:
My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account.  It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends.  I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face.  When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone.  I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that.

My friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again.  I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.

My sister called me a "fucking snitch" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues.  I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ######

Response: NTA - if she does it again, report her to Instagram for online harassment and cyber bullying. ######


Prompt:
 I (22F) got a job as a secretary-murse at a doctor's office to help my family while I study. I started there 2 weeks before the quarantine. During the quarantine, the doctor shut the office down by her choice as she was pregnant and afraid of getting the virus. She hadn't hired me yet (illegal) and didn't offer to hire me during the quarantine (so that I could take the stimulus check for people whose work closed).

 Fast forward to a week ago, she called me to demand me to answer the phones and make prescriptions while she would be in the hospital giving birth. I said I would cover her for those days despite not being ok with her not hiring or paying me. Now, those days have passed and she's back home and wants me to keep answering etc. Which means that it will take up too much time from my studying (we had agreed that during my exams and her delivery we would completely close the office, but she took advantage of the fact that the government now allows you to do online prescriptions). Additionally, she wants to reopen the office exactly when my first exam starts (my exams moved two weeks later, so her delivery is now over and my exams are starting).

 I told her that I don't want to keep answering the phone and I am not going back before the exams end. She completely changed her tone while talking to me and even asked me to do a prescription "if I can even do that being so busy". I feel like I don't owe her anything, especially since she hasn't hired me. AITA for leaving now, her having a newborn and c section healing? ######

Response: NTA - if she didn’t hire you how are you working for her? I’m confused ######


Prompt:
My stepson is 11 and at his school they have these annual events (father-son camping, mother-daughter cooking etc). Late last year they held a mother and son race where the mother had to run across the field and piggy back their sons back to the other side and then tie our legs together and just sprint back across.

A week prior my stepson Dylan was talking about it and how he thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing. When I looked at their poster for it, it looked fun so I convinced him to sign up for it. Later that day I called his mother Julie but she didn't pick up so I left a voicemail talking about the event and asking her to get back to us if she is available. Five days past and still no word from her. Being honest when she didn't respond, I saw it as an opportunity for Dylan and I to bond but since I respect Julie as his mother I sent her an email (doesn't use social media) with the poster and talking about how Dylan has signed up for it. Two days passed and still nothing. So I went to Dylan and told him that his mother hadn't gotten back to me but if he was okay with it, I was willing to step in since it was too late to pull out. He was a bit disappointed but still fine.

The day came and it was a blast. Tiresome but definitely worth it. It was just so much fun and I made a few friends there who were also stepmothers. And obviously we won 1st place and got two medals. Dylan also enjoyed it and feels way more comfortable with me now.

While I was browsing the school's website last week, I saw a picture from that day with me running and Dylan cheering on my back. It was a cute picture so I downloaded it and made it my profile picture. Turns out one of Julie's friends showed her the picture and now she's going on a rant about how I shouldn't have done that and how I've overstepped my mark as his step mother. When I told her I called her and sent an email she went on saying that I should've sent her a text or called her again instead of just once. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - if she didn't reply to one text or a mail, why would she respond to another one. Incredibly rude on her part to leave your messages unread. You stepped in when she let her son down and that's something your stepson will remember. Where's your husband in all of this, why is he letting his ex talk to you like this? ######


Prompt:
At my local grocery store, there are parking spots designated for pregnant/ new moms and veterans.

I’m about 32 weeks pregnant with twins, or 7 months for those of you who don’t speak pregnant. I had to go to the grocery store and as I was pulling up, I noticed one of those spots open and took it. As I was getting out of my car another car pulled up and told me I couldn’t park there because it was for veterans. I said it was for pregnant women and veterans, and I was one of those 2 so I could park there. Guy in the car essentially said I didn’t need to park there and he deserved it because he was a vet. He then pointed out some parking spots close by and told me to park there. I said I was already parked, out of my car and well within my right to park in a spot designated for both of us, and it wasn’t my fault I got to it first. I gestured to the parking spots he did and said he could park there, and walked around his car to enter the store. As I was walking in, a guy who heard the interaction told me I should have just moved and that he fought for our country, I could have given up the spot, and when I walked by the man from the car he said I was very rude.

I called my mom on the way home from the grocery store to tell her about the weird experience, and she agreed that I should have just moved, and now I kind of feel like a dick.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - If it was for both pregnant people and vets, you could park there. You got there first, so you got the space. He can deal. ######


Prompt:
Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a  teenager.

Living with her was detrimental to my mental/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.

She's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.

Today, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ######

Response: NTA - if it didn't work the first time, it's not going to work the 2nd time either. Her current living situation is unfortunate, but it's her problem to solve. ######


Prompt:
OK so back in August I got into a car accident. A woman ran a red light and hit the side of my car.
I went through the whole insurance claim process and she ended up denying fault. This cost me a lot of money to fix my own car as my insurance fought my claim.

Anyway, back to now. I got the news I won! The money was payed back but obviously I lost some money as a result.
I was talking with my dad whether or not we should sue, (which I wasn’t planning on) however my dad brought up that she probably already lost her license since she was already 80 years old at the time of the accident and this probably was the reason she fought so hard to deny fault.
Now I just feel bad. On one hand, the whole “she was 100% at fault and if she needed to lose her license because she was incompetent then she should”
But am I the asshole? At the end of the day I may have caused someone to lose their license??? It could’ve been an honest mistake. ######

Response:
 NTA - if it bothers you that she probably lost her licence, would it bother you if you didn't do anything and she then hit a child and killed them?
It would be the same as not reporting a drunk driver, just because they personally think they are good to drive doesn't make it the truth. ######


Prompt:
My best friend is getting married at the end of summer and he wants to do a haka to celebrate as a part of the ceremony. I am not Polynesian, Maori, Samoan, Tongan, Australian, Kiwi, etc, etc and my friend isn’t either. We said that if we did DNA tests and if either of us turned up anything from that area, we’d do it, but we both came up without anything there. AITA for this or am I being sensitive or too PC?

Edit: Neither bride or groom have heritage from there. ######

Response:
 NTA - If I were asked to do a ceremonial dance from a culture that has nothing to do with me? I would decline, even if I thought it would be fun/cool.
I wouldn't feel good or comfortable, and would definitely feel like I was appropriating someone's culture.

Why do you think your friend is so dead-set on doing a Haka, though? Is it just something he's really interested in or admires? ######


Prompt:
Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.

WIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?

EDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######

Response: NTA - If he's 8 and physically able to do so he should be able to wipe himself. If he's not able to do so, your parents should make no expectations of you being his caretaker at 15 years old. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.

Tonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said "another shitty diaper to change" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.

Granted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).

It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?

When I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.

He wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.

I feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######

Response: NTA - If he wants another child he needs to commit taking care of the first one first. ######


Prompt:
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for
about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts
because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.

He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself.

I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like.

Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with.

I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?

also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######

Response: NTA - if he starts being controlling about your sport choices after 5 months of relationship he might keep on that path which is a no go. Good that you stood on your grounds! ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account as my Family knows my Main.

My sister and I are around the same age. I (25F) and she (22) never really got along. From a young age it was clear that she was the favorite child. She got everything she asked for and more. I think it made her entitled and spoiled.

I am currently going to college, and live on my own in a small 2 room apartment. I won some money a while back and work besides studying, so I am pretty well of. I am not home most of time.

My sister and her kid still live with our parents. She doesn't go to work since she's a single mom. Now she decided she wants to go back to college ( which I genuinely support) in th ecity I live. It's a 5 hour drive from our parents hometown. She doesn't want to go to work, and does not want to hire a babysitter. The Father of the Child is still in the picture and offered to take my niece in. My sister refused and said she didn't want to be separated from her child.

Without ever asking me, my parents and sister decided that my sister and niece would move in with me, and I would cover all costs on my own. She is already enrolled in class. They also decided she and her kid would move into my bedroom and I would sleep on the couch. I was also supposed to watch my niece. I said no. My apartment is really small and even though I am well of, I can't comfortably support my sister and niece financially.

My parents, grandparents and other relatives all called me and screamed at me for not supporting my sister and niece. My sister is already enrolled in class. Cancelling would cost a lot of money. My parents want me to pay it, since I am the reason she can't attend classes. Since then, I muted my phone and cut off all contact from my Family. I talked with my Friends and they all called my the Asshole for not supporting my sister. Am I really TA? ######

Response: NTA - If everyone is calling and screaming at you, they could easily just chip in their money to support her themselves.  Not your responsibility.  Don't give her a key and the problem is solved... sorta. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 27 year old Asian guy. Half my friends are other Asian guys. My girlfriend is a 25 year old white girl.

Recently, due to intense work stress, I’ve decided to seek counseling. I believe it would help me handle the streets a lot.

I told my girlfriend this, and she was nice enough to find me a list of people she believed could help; however, I already had someone in mind (an Asian guy) recommended from a friend.

Many of the issues I’ve faced stem from being Asian. For example, I’ve faced racism as a child. More recently, I’ve been forced to eliminate White/Asian guys from an internship applicant pool due to not qualifying for diversity quotas (programs where only certain minorities and women can apply to) despite being extremely highly qualified, and people that have taken the effort to network with me while most of the diversity applicants haven’t (this isn’t to insulate that diversity candidates are necessarily less qualified, just that since the program is diversity focused, the non diversity kids that choose apply are typically high caliber non-diversity kids). There are also other Asian related issues I’d want to talk about but won’t here so as to not cause a shitstorm.

All this has led to a lot of stress from office politics that I just want to get off my chest. The problem has arisen in that when I told my girlfriend that, she said I was being racist and/or sexist for only wanting an Asian guy as a counselor. ######

Response:
 NTA - I’m white and my husband is Japanese. We were having some problems in our marriage and needed to find a counselor, and it was absolutely critical to him that that counselor be Japanese. He wanted someone who could understand his culture and frame of reference without having to explain too much. And I totally respected that, because I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible through the process, otherwise what’s the point? For example, one little problem I brought up was how he never flirted with me anymore but I witnessed exchanges between him and female friends that came across as flirty. Our counselor pinpointed the problem exactly as cultural, meaning she knew that was a common behavior for married Japanese men (flirting with your own spouse is seen as awkward) but she explained to him that I, however, am not Japanese and he needed to be more affectionate towards me because I needed that. He really appreciated that she knew where he was coming from, even though ultimately she recommended him changing.

Anyway, your girlfriend needs to understand that having that deep commonality is really important for some people to be able to open up 100% in therapy/counseling. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.

My living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.

My neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.

Apparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were "flying free" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.

I told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - I’m sorry but this is SO FUNNY! SHES the perv here. You’re in your fkn home ffs xD Tell her to stop being a Nosey Nancy and enjoy her walks.

(I really thought this was gonna be a case of a gross male relative, thank god it wasn’t!) ######


Prompt:
I have a five year old daughter named Colette. Ever since she was born my mil called my daughter "letters" as a nickname (because Colette ends in lette i'm guessing). It's not the greatest nickname in the world but I let it go.

The other day, my daughter randomly said: Why does grandma call me "letters". My name is Colette.

I told her: It's her nickname for you.

Colette: that's weird

me:Do you not like being called "letters"

Colette: not really

me:it's ok to tell grandma that you want to be called Colette instead of letters.

Colette went to my MIL's house today. My husband dropped her off and picked her up so I didn't see my MIL at all that day.

That night I get a call from my MIL. She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nick name. And that I shouldn't have told her to say that. She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologized and says that she likes being called letters.

That last part pissed me off. I told her "what the fuck? You're banning a 5 year old from your house for not liking a stupid nick name. Then I hung up on her.

Aita for using that kind of language with my mil. ######

Response: NTA - I’m honestly just sort of in disbelief your MIL could be old enough to be a grandma and act like that. ######


Prompt:
AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?

Last summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding.

I am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######

Response: NTA - I'm half wondering if she maybe lost them somehow or the files got corrupted (both are unfortunately things that could happen). At this point I would try asking if something happened to the photos and say you would rather just know and proceed with the retakes then be kept in the dark. And if its not then say you need an explanation on why you still don't have them ######


Prompt:
So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.

I coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.

I did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says.

This was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.

But AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ######

Response: NTA - I'm a teacher myself and in my opinion it's your name and your authority and relationship with the kids.  You get to choose what you want them to call you.  Unless a school/gym has specifc policies about how they address you, who cares.  Even then a part of me feels like ultimately it's your choice. ######


Prompt:
My cousin's birthday is coming up and she had asked me about a week ago if I'd be willing to to draw her OC's (orginal characters) for her instead of getting her a present. I normally never agree to do free work for people, because it can very quickly snowball out of control if someone heard I was doing free work, but since she's my family and it's her birthday  I agreed to do it. However, once she sent me the details of what she wanted I very quickly backed out.

Without going into too much detail she wanted some NSFW (not safe for work) art of her OC's doing some very NSFW things to each other. I let her know that I don't do NSFW stuff, but would still be willing to draw her characters as long as we kept things PG-13. No judgement or anything like that, just letting her know that I wasn't comfortable with doing NSFW stuff. She didn't take it well and this led into several days worth of angry texts and phone calls between the two of us that eventually culminated in me telling her to find someone else to take the commission and her writing a melodramatic rant on her Facebook and Instagram about how I was slut shaming and kink shaming her.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I wouldn’t call up a wedding photographer and ask him to shoot my porn video. Context matters in art. And you get to pick what you draw. ######


Prompt:
I’m gonna be honest, I’m already pretty sure I’m nta, but I want a different view, my older brother is a very entitled 18 yr old, and a couple times he has barged into my room without knocking, it started a couple years ago when I just got my phone and would stay up too late on it, it would mess with his internet connection to play games so he would try to catch me on it by barging into my room, he didn’t get into trouble for it then bc technically I shouldn’t of been on my phone, but after all of that he would just bathe in to my room for whatever, I would get mad and tell our parents, they’d say if he did again they’d take away his Xbox, and then he’d stop, and then do it again like a month later. Apparently it’d be too long since the first time so they would just tell him not to do it again, there’s even been times where I just wouldn’t say anything to my parents trying to be reasonable, just for him to do it again. He’s gone into full blown arguments about why he shouldn’t have to knock in his house and I’m a brat, he’s totally untrustworthy and would get me in trouble for anything possible, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation since I’m 15 F

TLDR: my older brother thinks he shouldn’t have to knock on my door, I strongly disagree
Aita ######

Response: NTA - i would just start sitting around naked oersonally but i am petty ######


Prompt: So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ######

Response: NTA - I think your dad is confusing sexual orientation/gender identity with sexual activity. ######


Prompt:
So, I’m a bit lost. My family is angry at me and my friends are saying I was in the right.

Due to me being an idiot, I now have a second switch. I thought my first Nintendo switch was broken, but turns out the problem was with my tv. So both work fine. I figured I’d sell my first one and put the money towards paying off my credit card or getting a ps5.

My dad, upon hearing this, immediately suggested I give the switch to my brother. Give. For free. He can’t even afford a game for the console, let alone the console itself. Am I also meant to give up my games to him?

My brother made my teenage years hell. He stole from me, threatened me, he is the reason I moved out 5 years ago and never looked back. I admit, I’m bitter. So very bitter. So when my dad suggested I give him the switch, I laughed and hung up.

Now my family are angry I’m not willing to give up a perfectly functional Nintendo switch, that I’m not using, for free. Apparently i’m being selfish. Am I the asshole? I don’t owe him anything, but I’m really biased about this so I could be wrong. ######

Response: NTA - I think most people would’ve laughed too! Would definitely recommend paying off your debt first though, PS5 is still a good few months away ######


Prompt:
My dad owns a pizza place that was handed down to him from my grandfather.

I've been working at the pizza place my while life, even part time while I got a business degree.

I found out last early last year that my dad had willed the restaurant to my stepmom. His reasoning being she needs to be taken care of after he dies. And that it would go to me after she died.

I was pissed and "quit" the next day. My dad ended up hiring two people to make up the work I was doing.

Now this is the potential asshole part. A month after I quit, I found a great location where another pizza place had shut down. I bought it and had it up and running in two months. My restaurant is take out only, but my business is doing extremely well.

My dad reached out to me last September and said that his restaurant was losing business because of me and to please come back to the family business. He offered to buy my business so I would get something out of it.

I declined the offer. Now the craziness of 2020 happened and because my restaurant was already setup for takeout, I'm only seeing a 5-10% drop in revenue.

The family restaurant however, is going under.

Now there's a whole lot of arguing about me causing my dad's family to become financially ruined.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I saw in one of your comments that you don’t get along with your step mom and she has children of her own. Let’s be realistic, she would probably leave the business to them and not you. You needed to take control of your life and it’s good you have your own business now. Your fathers restaurant isn’t failing because of you, it’s because he can’t adapt. ######


Prompt:
My father left when I was very young and I was raised primarily by my mother, she died a few years ago and I've had no interest in ever getting in contact with my father. My GF has always wanted me to get in contact with him because she thinks she's some sort of therapist and all my "issues" come from a lack of a father figure.

Without checking with me she tracked him down, told him I want to get in contact and then gave him my number. He called me and I told him to piss off and blocked his number after he told me how he got his number.

We got into a massive argument where I said she had no right to meddle in my life, called her a cunt and hung up. I have no intention of speaking to her until we're allowed outside again and I'm considering just breaking up over this.

Her friend texted me to tell me how upset my GF is and that I'm a horrible person so doing this to her. ######

Response:
 NTA - I remember a similar post over a year ago where OP's fiance contacted and invited his estranged family to their wedding.  He had cut them off because they were abusive and she decided to bring them into their lives because she wanted to get to know them.   He cancelled the wedding and broke up with her immediately.

Edit: sorry guys I can't find the link.  I really wanted to read it again. ######


Prompt:
I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!

I have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face.

When carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair.

My husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth & on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.

His reasons are:
1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)
2- he says it is not manly
3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID).

This turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty?

So Reddit. Am I the asshole?

TLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ######

Response:
 NTA - I mean it's only for a few weeks anyway. Not manly? What sort of bullshit is that? You know what's not "manly"? Not stepping up to help your injured wife when she can't do something herself.

Edit: Thanks for the award! My first one. ######


Prompt: So she’s been learning to play video games, she’s not that bad but obviously is nowhere near as good as the maniacs who play online. So I said if she plays while my PSN is logged in I’d prefer if she plays offline or against the computer. And if she absolutely has to then please not on FIFA because I don’t want to get demoted. Idk if she watches porn on it or does whatever but that’s the only thing I care about and that’s my conditions if she plays on my console, is not to ruin my online profiles. She accepted these terms which I thought was fair. But I came home from work and nabbed her playing FIFA on my account. I had spent soooooooo much time getting to Division 1 and winning the title. Blood sweat and tears. And she got demoted all the way to division 4. For anyone who doesn’t know that means you’d have to lose at least 20ish games in a row, usually I just stop playing when I’ve lost 4 games in a row bc that mans I’m tilted You guys might think it’s ridiculous and I should get a life but I really care about that garbage game lol. But I told her that look I asked you to do only one thing and you still violated my trust so I said that for the time being I’m not at all comfortable with her playing on my console. She said she’s sorry (in fairness to her this is very mature) and I said I appreciate it for apologizing but I just need to regain trust in you before I want to let this be a thing again. I offered to contribute 75% of the costs of buying a console just for herself but she declined as she says she doesn’t see herself playing much and she wishes she could play on my console again. Just now I overheard her on the phone to her sister and she says that she thinks I’m being unnecessarily harsh and a tad bit controlling and I’m going overboard. I’m just not comfortable with it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I mean I don’t understand why you just didn’t... create an account for her in the first place... but anyway, you explained it to her and she said she understood and wouldn’t do it. Yet she still did it. You aren’t wrong here, even if it may seem childish to most people. ######


Prompt: So I have a large collection of books that I often reread. I love them all very much. My favourite series is noughts and crosses books. My parents often make me lend books to people I barely know and sometimes the people take ages to return it and if they do, its often a bit damaged. The other day my parents asked me to lend the noughts and crosses to someone (we’ll call this someone J). J is quite nice but she has a brother who likes to play football with almost any object in their house, and I was not going to let him do that to my book. I said No. My parents totally blew up at me. They said I was selfish. I told them I wasn’t going to lend my favourite book series to someone else because I love them and I don’t trust other people with them. My parents are now angry at me and I’m angry at them, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was being a bit selfish. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I love lending books to people but I also have some books I won't lend because I'm worried about not getting them back. They are your property, you don't have to lend them if you don't want to. ######


Prompt: This sounds like a dick move, but hear me out. My younger brother (12) has been playing Fortnite continuously every day for this entire “break”. He recently lost his Xbox power cord to our dad for not doing the dishes and other chores that were not completed, but he still has his phone. Because he isn’t downstairs playing Xbox, he is playing Fortnite videos on YouTube at stupid high volume level. He will sit in my room and watch them, and I’ve asked him multiple times to turn it down, as I’m also trying to play my Xbox with some friends, and need to be able to hear them. He largely ignores me and says “it’s not that loud”. For context, I’m also a weeb, and enjoy a variety of Sub and Dub anime. And I thought that if he won’t turn his volume down, I won’t either. He is not a fan of anime at all, and has asked me in the past to not watch it near him because he “thinks the voices are too high pitched and creepy.” So I thought when we eat lunch (my dad is working right now and we are home alone) I can turn my sub anime to the max, and make him understand that it’s rude to do things like this. ######

Response: NTA - I know you said your door doesn't have a lock but would your dad be opposed to using a door stop (a small wedge shaped piece of rubber or wood pushed tight under your door) to keep your brother out? It's your room and he has no business in there unless you invite him in. ######


Prompt:
When my wife was younger she lived off takeaways or she didn't eat, her dad would buy her 2litre bottles  of coke when she was 6+ so she never really had that healthy relationship with food, she also never got to leave the house unless it was for school.

She is obsessed with eating healthy and exercising, this became worse when we had children (13F,11F,4M)

The children love exercise and that's great, our eldest is in football and track and our other daughter is in gymnastics and ballet.

My wife loves making them eat healthy too, their breakfast this morning was a spinach and tuna wrap with a fruit salad on side

Their lunch is going to be Shaved Carrot and Radish Salad.

They're allowed one cheat snack a week but the rest of the time they're only allowed fruit or vegetables and that's great but they should be allowed stuff like biscuits in my opinion.

This is where the problem has started, I'm a little frustrated at the food because let them be kids and stop taking your own issues out on them,  then while they're playing video games in the study she comes in trying to get our eldest to come out and play football in the garden with her and the youngest.

Her; hey *eldest* come play football with me and your brother? Better than sitting around all day and not being productive!

Me; babe, kids are allowed to have some lazy days it's fine!

Her; no it isn't! They should be out exercising, getting fresh air, NOT getting eye strain on the console

(Their screen time used to be 2hrs a week on xbox)

I may have snapped and told her to leave the children alone.

She got all teary eyed and we haven't spoken since.

I thought I was in the right but after speaking to my sister she says I was the AH
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - I hate this mindset that you need to be productive at all hours. Even the world's geniuses had downtime. Schopenhauer used to go on walks with his poodle. People need relaxation and this capitalist bull of "always be working" can lead to so many complexes and contribute to mental illness. Sounds like your wife is on a good road to fuck your kids up in a different direction, you guys need to talk it out, maybe with the help of a therapist.

Edit to add: shaved carrots isn't lunch for growing kids. I say this as a salad loving vegan. They need more carbs. ######


Prompt: I just gave birth to my daughter.  Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon.  She wants to come over all the time to see the baby.  I’m ok with that.  I really am.  I can use some company and advise.  My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time.  Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises.  Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time.  Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members.  Am I being unreasonable? ######

Response: NTA - I hate surprise visits! It never fails that there is some kind of mess or I look awful. Everything in the house will look perfect until that one surprise visit. ######


Prompt:
I'm sitting at my computer working when my wife asks me to come help her in the yard. No problem, my eyes could use a break anyway. I go and move the planter she needed moved and get back to work.

5 minutes later she asks me to move it back. Fine, whatever.

Every time I get back to my desk it's something new. The dog needs water and her hands are dirty, can you bring me my gloves, will you hang those curtain rods, the list goes on.

After about 45 minutes she notices my agitation.

Wife: Is everything ok? You seem irritated.

Me: I am irritated, because you're irritating me.

Wife: I don't deserve to be talked to like that.

Me: Well I don't deserve to be interrupted every 5 minutes while I'm trying to work. I've read the first paragraph of this management plan 6 times in the last 45 minutes because you constantly need something. You're an independent woman, figure it out.

Wife: You're an asshole.

So? Am I? ######

Response: NTA - I hate being interrupted while I'm trying to work. If I start a task and get distracted I have to start all over again. You're good! ######


Prompt:
I give my daughter a lot of compliments. Great writer, very funny, selfless, smart, great artist, etc. I'll also tell her she is beautiful every now and then. My daughter is 16.

She had recenly gotten some new clothes shipped to our house. She changed into her new clothes and I told her she looked beautiful. She thanked me and gave me a hug.

Later my wife berated me for calling her beautiful and noted she had heard me call her beautiful before. She says it will make her worry too much about her looks and her fashion. She said its sexist. She said this might reinforce her into thinking buying new clothes is how she will get compliments/be beautiful. We are still arguing about this. Am I the crazy one?? Am I the asshole?? ######

Response: NTA - I get what your wife was on about but as long as you also compliment her about other things that aren't appearance-related (which it sounds like  you do) there's nothing wrong with saying someone looks beautiful when they're showing off new clothes. ######


Prompt:
AITA?

So first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going/ what we are doing.

So anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ######

Response: NTA - I feel like this is too blatantly obvious that he's the asshole here to be real but meh, I'll give a judgement anyways. Your husband is insecure, rude, and controlling not to mention ridiculous. You should wear whatever the fuck you want to wear which you feel comfortable in. ######


Prompt:
As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!

I don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense.

Fast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.

Now, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell.

I told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin.

So, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)

They were argumentative, so I told my cousin.

Of course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result.

Somebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.

AITA, and if so, why? ######

Response: NTA - I feel like a lot of people posting that you’re the asshole have never had to deal with anything similar. Depriving someone of knowing their biological family is really fucked up, and can lead to identity issues later on. You have your aunts time to tell her themselves, and it appears you have your cousin’s best interest at heart. A lot of people claim that it wasn’t your place, and although that’s technically true, it’s your aunts fault for lying in the first place. How old was your cousin when you told them? ######


Prompt:
So this just happened last week and I want to know if I am the AH.

Me (22F) and my friend (23f) decided we wanted to lose weight we both decided to just naturally bring in healthy alternatives to our diet and exercise and we both tried fad diets and failed every time.

We started this around the new year and I’ve continued to make sure to do the little things and ended up going down from an obese bmi to a overweight bmi, I know there is more work to do but I’m pretty happy with my results and showed off to Instagram.

So here is why I might be the AH:

My friend hasn’t been doing as well with her weight loss through no fault of her own, I did know this and have been trying to help her with things I’ve found work for me. I suggested maybe seeing a doctor as she really cannot shift the weight and I do wonder if it may be medical related, she got defensive about needing a doctor so I left it at that.

Then came the photo. As I said I posted my results to Instagram and she calls me crying saying I know how hard it is for her and I shouldn’t be flaunting my success in her face. I just wanted to show off how proud I am but now I feel like an AH because I did have it in the back of my mind that she may get upset.

So reddit AITA for posting my progress picture even though I knew my friends weight struggles? ######

Response: NTA - I feel bad for her but you worked hard and if you made progress you deserve to show it off. It's not like you're shoving it in her face and posting with the sole intent of making her feel bad ######


Prompt:
Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles.

Yesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.

AITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ######

Response: NTA - I enjoy watching movies with subtitles too and I have no hearing issues. It's the same as you, it helps me understand the movie much better. There are movies I've seen in the cinema that I enjoy much better when I watch them again at home because when I watch them again I have subtitles and I can follow things much easier. Your brother is definitely the asshole for the way he reacted and spoke to you. ######


Prompt: A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ######

Response:
 NTA - I don't understand how anyone can be so forgetful as to leave shoes at a beach. Especially shoes she was borrowing. She owes you a new pair, plain and simple. It doesn't matter what you paid for them, they were your property. You've made suggestions and have even tried to keep reasonable pricing in mind. You're willing to accept second hand ones if the quality is there.

When you break, damage or lose someone else's property you have a responsibility to make it right as best you can. It sounds like she can, she has the means, she just doesn't want to. ######


Prompt:
For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.

Since I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: "Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her," and they'll just respond with an "I know, right?" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.

 Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.

 He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of "Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol."
I know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I don't know the medical term forvthis, but there are lots of people who really have an aversion for being touched! I think you should look into it more or maybe ask your doctor. This isn't about you being a rude person, you have some sort of condition ######


Prompt: My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######

Response: NTA - I don't care if he's uncanceled it, if you are sick, you shouldn't go ######


Prompt:
Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.

One day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.

I yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her.

The next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.

I tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )

I was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.

When I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.

I just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.

This is where we are at now AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I do not think your wife is very well. ######


Prompt: My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids.  Today my wife received a call from the  principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair.  I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos.  My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times.   I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ######

Response: NTA - I cannot believe the principal called you. Is this really the best use of the principal’s time? Ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
I'm 21M, and got a really good job a few months before lockdown, around the same time we both got a puppy together. I've been busy with work through lockdown, whereas my partner deffered study because A. she hates her degree anyway and B. she can't study online.

I've been arguably busier than ever, whereas she's been left to her own devices a lot more recently. Lately she's been getting upset that I'm not paying enough attention to her/spending enough time with her. We go to the park with our puppy twice a day for 1-2 hours each time, I cook her dinner and we watch a movie together every night. We go to a drive in theatre that's still open once a week, and have an average sex life.

I also start work at 6am every morning to maintain the lifestyle we have, because I was finishing too late most days when I worked 9-5 (I work from home full time.)

I decided to talk to her about this, because I personally feel like I dedicate a lot to our relationship. She basically said that she feels like dead weight around the house and has been putting more effort than ever into our relationship, basically all her focus. I, on the other hand, have been working really hard to have a diverse life of interests. So she's felt that on the evenings when I'm worn out from work, that I'm not giving her enough.

She said that she feels like she has to prove her value to me, to make herself feel like she has value. I told her that no matter how hard she tries to show me that she has value, she's never going to believe me when I tell her that she already has it. The only person that can make her feel like she has value is herself, it's unreasonable to expect that from me and makes me withdraw emotionally because it's stressful.

She spent the afternoon crying and hasn't really talked to me since. She got kind of mad at me for saying it? AITA? Is there an asshole here? I don't know. ######

Response: NTA - I can't think of a better way for you to have dealt with this, you did the exact right thing. It seems that the truth hurt, but that is not your problem and as you said, she is the only one that can make herself happy. ######


Prompt:
Jesus this is very, very weird.

So, for starters I am biracial (23F). African American and Hispanic.

So basically my roommate (24F) and I were talking and chilling together since none of us could go home.

We were talking about our respective partners and shit when she started telling me about her sex life. Normally I love to hear weird or fun stories about sex which people willingly share with me but this one was just really weird.

So apparently my roommate and her boyfriend have this kink called raceplay BDSM. Where my roommate pretends to be a black slave and her boyfriend pretends to be a slave owner. They're both very white.

I felt really uncomfortable when she went into the details and I told her to stop as it seemed very racist to me. I also told her that the kink is making me uncomfortable and told her to not talk about it with me in the future.

She waved off my request and kept reassuring me that it's nothing racist and I shouldn't be "triggered". She didn't stop even after I told her to so I got upset and went back to my room.

She isn't talking to me and it's all very stressful to me in this situation, I want to know if I was in the wrong so I could apologise.

I don't know what to feel about this tbh.

AITA for calling my friend racist for having a certain kink?

Edit: I should add that I try to be a non-judgmental person in most cases and I usually listen to her sex stories without any judgement. I feel bad for alienating her like this, this is why I posted this here. ######

Response: NTA - I can't even imagine being so broke-brained that I'd bring up my raceplay kink to a biracial person. Or bring it up at all to anyone. ######


Prompt:
Throughout our time together, my SO told me that she was allergic to peanuts. I made sure that all of our dishes didn’t contain peanuts, and that I would only eat them outside of the house.

Yesterday, her lie got found out. My parents gave me some Indian food, they’re Indians, I was going to label that the Biryani had peanuts, but I guess I had a brain fart. She began to eat it. I knew something was wrong when I saw her eating it, when I suddenly realized what happened.

I literally tossed her spoon from her hand. I told her that the Biryani has peanuts in it. She just goes “Oh, I’m not allergic to peanuts; I just hate the taste of it”. I was really mad; she was lying about such an important thing. I’ve been unnecessarily taking extra precautions so she doesn’t even breathe in peanut particles. She’s calling me an asshole for being mad at her.

She lied throughout our entire relationship. I don’t know what other things she has lied about. Is her name really Rebecca? Is she really a woman?

But seriously, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - I can kind of understand the initial lie, because a lot of the time when you say you don't like an ingredient people try to convince you that you'll love it the way they use it. But even if it seemed like a small lie to her, it's something she should have explained as your relationship became more serious.

Also, you went to great lengths to accommodate what you believed to be her allergy and she shouldn't have let that continue. ######


Prompt: Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ######

Response:
 NTA - I bought my gf an expensive 100 euros bottle and she barely uses it on special occasions and as little as possible.

She would set fire to the house if someone else would just touch that bottle. I can understand. ######


Prompt: My (30f) husband (33m) loves tennis. I’ve had 2 failed pregnancies, first one was last year (bad heart at 19 wks), second one was yesterday (10 wk embryo stopped developing). So I need to go to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to have the tissue removed. My husband asks if he can play tennis in the morning since it’s a nice day. He will still drive me to the procedure. Context: last time I lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks, he  played golf the day after we got the bad news. I’ve since then told him I wish he hadn’t done that and I don’t want him to play tennis this time. My reason? This is crushing for me. This is not/should not be a happy time for us. No he cannot go out and have fun. It’d be like if his granny died and I asked can I go to the spa. Don’t make me suffer alone. So I said no to tennis this time and he still wants to that he asked me again and again. I’m at my wits end. I’m about to have something taken out of my body and am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to go out and enjoy his favorite hobby? ######

Response:
 NTA - I bet he’d be disappointed if she went to the spa the day after he had so much as a simple vasectomy, let alone, if he went in for something far more emotionally and physically serious.

 “Coping mechanism” isn’t an excuse; if they lost a child or even a step son that was only biologically his, and she elected to “cope” this way, even if to deal with her own grief, *by playing games with her other friends* when her husband was alone at home and desperately needed her support, people wouldn’t be so quick to excuse her behavior.

When a man backs out of supporting his wife through a loss or failed conception, people seem to get far more motivated to seek out and validate his excuses.

There really aren’t even any analogies, that are remotely comparable to what she’s experiencing first hand, which is why he should probably wake up and stop being so selfish... even if avoiding her for his usual frivolities, and games, is just how he “copes” with challenging times. ######


Prompt:
My (21F) boyfriend (26M) plays video games until the early hours of the morning most nights. I've suffered from depression for as long as we have been together (2 years), and disruptions to my sleep negatively impact my mental health. I've explained this to my boyfriend and asked him to be quieter when he comes to bed, but nothing has changed.

He is loud when he plays his video games, often yelling and chasing, and when he comes to bed he often wants to cuddle and talk to me (which otherwise would be fine, but not at 2am when I am trying to sleep).

With classes etc being online now, it's important for me to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at a reasonable hour (i.e., 10pm to 7-8am), otherwise I will get into the habit of sleeping all day and my mental health always worsens.

WIBTA for asking him to sleep on the couch on nights he wants to stay up really late, rather than inevitably waking me up when he comes to bed? I feel like this might be a bit extreme, but my sleep is very closely tied to my mental health and I have been struggling as a result of being woken up so often. ######

Response: NTA - I (30/F) sleep like a 80 yr old grandpa. I snore loud as f*ck, especially when stressed or tired. So on days where the husband (30/M) has to go into work at 5AM for IT emergencies, he lets me know and he volunteers to sleep elsewhere or I volunteer to sleep elsewhere the night before. It's respectful and considerate of eachother. ######


Prompt:
My friend has recently bought her first house and has asked me to move in with her because she realised she doesn’t like living alone. I won’t be moving in until June/July and in the meantime she has gotten two kittens to keep herself company.

I love animals, and I don’t have an issue with her getting kittens. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her house and she can do what she wants, especially when I’m not even living there yet. My concern is that she has been talking about chores and taking care of the cat food and litter would be on my list of things to do.

I pet sit frequently for other people, and I find cats are always the one animal I don’t particularly love cleaning up after. The general smell of their food and waste doesn’t sit well with me (keep in mind I grew up on an animal farm so I’m not being precious about smells. It’s just cats).

I mentioned this and tried to point out that me moving in wouldn’t automatically make them my pets too. They are her cats and would still be her responsibility. I would be more than happy to help should she need it or step up when she is absent, but I don’t think I should have to worry about them day to day.

My friend is pushing me on the subject, so I just wanted to know where other people stand. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - How in the world did she think HER cats suddently became YOUR problem. There are plenty of other chores you can do around the house. If she is getting tired of caring for them, she shouldn't have gotten them. It's not fair to push that on you. ######


Prompt:
My (19M) friend (20M) likes to bake. He’s made some cakes and other desserts for people and has transported it to peoples’ door step safely throughout the pandemic. Right now, I am living at home with my parents due to the quarantine. He offered to bring me some brownies, and I agreed and thanked him. I also let him know that I am deathly allergic to peanuts, and he told me not to worry.

Later, the brownies are dropped off, and I thank him again. I decide to share them with my family because it was a pretty big pan. My mom ate one, then quickly let me know that it tasted like peanut. I texted my friend and told him what my mom said, just to confirm. He responded by telling me that “he forgot” about my allergy, despite my warning that they could kill me.

I got really angry. I told him that he could have killed me, and I was lucky that I wasn’t the first to eat one. He replied by telling me that it was just a simple misunderstanding, and that my anger was unjustified. I told my parents, and my mom thinks I overreacted, but my dad took my side. My other friends seem pretty divided as well. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - how could he forget? You told him you could die, a good friend would have made sure it didn't even come close to peanut. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed/give water/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine.

When I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush?

Problem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush.

I didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping.

That was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising/not telling her? ######

Response: NTA - how are you going to know what she’s going to do? She should have discussed what she planned so you could have known to warn her. The breakdown of information flow is on her. ######


Prompt:
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.

I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######

Response:
 NTA - Honestly, I'm tired of people thinking you have to deal with toxic people just because they're your blood. If she treated you badly in the past, and she isn't a big part of your support system today, she shouldn't feel entitled just because she's your sister. Also, it is your big day, so it's not really about her.

Really, ask yourself if you really want her to be a part of it. If your gut-feeling is no, then you don't have to stand for it. You really don't need to explain why you think so to anyone. It's about you. ######


Prompt:
Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.

A couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me.
However, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.

I finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.

Now I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay.
What should I do? AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Hey behavior was very inappropriate. She was breaking boundaries and was probably trying to use you as a way to get back with your brother. ######


Prompt:
AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?

My childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist.

We normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore.

We still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt.

I eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”.

Then I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable.

She cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######

Response:
 NTA - Her mental health isn't your responsibility. Putting that burden (and yes it is a burden to put your mental health on someone else) on you is horrible.

I get that it's hard for her, but it's not your job to help her. She's not going to get anywhere with her problems without getting a therapist. Also who TF is her boyfriend and why isn't HE helping her? Honestly fuck him. She's not your girlfriend, she's not even a good friend.

She's pressuring you to take on all her problems and it's obviously negative to your own health. Cut her off, she's toxic, tell her she can come back and talk to you when she starts acting like a grown up and agrees to go to therapy.

I have tons of friends who've gone through bad shit and yes, I've been there for them when they needed me, but they never dumped their shit on me and they reached out for help from therapist when they could. And they're doing great now. ######


Prompt:
So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays.

Sometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights "fend for yourself night". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.

 I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######

Response:
 NTA - her kids will probably end up being the ones who burn ramen noodles in a college dorm because they never learned how to do anything for themselves.

Its not wrong to not cook every single night for your kids who are old enough to cook for themselves or make a sandwich. ######


Prompt:
Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA - her actions got her arrested and got her a record. All you did was protect your family from future abuse ######


Prompt:
I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.

We have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves.

His health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.

He promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!

So I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family.

I work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats.

Am I TA here for getting upset? ######

Response: NTA - he’s only using “supporting the family” as a cover-up excuse to overwork. Ask him this, if he’s so willing to be nice to his colleagues and sacrifice his time and himself for them, why can’t he do the same for his family instead? ######


Prompt:
We just had an argument over it. Out of courtesy I wait until 9-10am to grind coffee. Before that, since I'm up around 6am, I drink instant.

&#x200B;

Its worked out during the week. He's up early to wfh so it doesn't matter. But its saturday and he thinks I'm an asshole for doing anything noisy before noon. I think he needs to get earplugs or something if hes going to sleep so late. You can't expect quiet during daylight while everyone is stuck at home ######

Response:
 NTA - he’s not the only person in the apartment whose schedule matters.  If he made a habit of sleeping in til 2pm, would he expect you to be silent until then?  10 am is a perfectly reasonable cutoff for quiet hours to be over.

Dude needs to go live by himself, if he wants to be the only one who matters. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

So, this happened a couple of days ago. I asked a couple of friends about this, and one of them suggested I should write and ask about it here. I’m not a native speaker, so excuse my mistakes.

I (26F) have a 2 year old son. I was having a conversation with a friend and mentioned that my son doesn’t really like to shower, but loves baths, so when I do prepare a bath for him we usually bathe together. I bring all kinds of toys and cups, because he loves to spill water on himself and even more when he splashes it at my face. If you ask me it’s a win-win situation. I can wash my hair and his at the same time, and he loves the play time with me in there.

The response I got was not what I expected. She looked actually disgusted. She said what I was doing is very inapropriate especially because he is a boy and that I’m emotionally and possibly sexually abusing my son. I disagreed and we had a huge fight. When I told my other friend what happened she said she sees her point and maybe I shouldn’t do this anymore.

I am so confused and I’m wondering if AITA for bathing with my son? Am I abusing him? ######

Response: NTA - He's only two. I'd be worried more about your friends assuming a sexual element to it. ######


Prompt:
i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother.

i absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’.

i do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######

Response: NTA - He's not just "being helpful" because for that to be the case, his comments would need to be constructive in the first place. It makes you feel uncomfortable and it's not his place to make comments because a.) he doesn't know what he's talking about and b.) you have your mother to help you with those types of issues. Him being the parent has nothing to do with it. Ask your mom to sort things out with him; maybe then he'll see reason. ######