Prompt:
So I (22M) have just inherited a very large sum of money from my grandfather (80M), he passed recently. I won't disclose the full amount, but it's in the 7 figures.

My dad isn't in the picture... was raised by my mom (60F). Have 5 sisters (18F, 22F, 25F, 29F and 35F) and one brother (14M).

As you can imagine, things were very difficult. I always did feel neglected compared to my sisters and pushed aside.

Now I'm not sure why I got the inheritance. It's not like I was smarter than some of my sisters or in a better position (I did ok for myself going to college, but they went to better ones) so this surprised me. I could be real lazy sometimes which was the opposite of my grandad so I'm surprised I got the inheritance. I think he just took a liking to me.

As soon as I found out, I knew right away I would keep all of it to myself. I don't want to give any of it to my family or even friends. It's all mine.

The first thing my family did was to call a meeting and basically they EXPECTED I would share it and they asked how, and I looked confused and told them "you're not getting any of it". This caused them to lose it and scream at me, especially my mom and eldest sister who said how could I do this to them.

Then they said i don't deserve it as i didn't work hard (it's true I always partied and worked last minute) but I told them deserve has nothing to do with it.

from my point of view they neglected me and didn't pay attention to me when I had problems growing up. It was all about my sisters.

So I told them it's my money and I'm going to keep all of it and they all called me asshole. Ive already got a new place lined up so I'm moving out when I can. But AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. It’s your decision to make, but choosing to not share a great boon with your closest family is generally a dick move. Not always, but certainly often.

Here you freely admit that there’s no particular reason for you to have the money, it wasn’t left with instructions, it’s not for like a big debt or something... idk, to tell the tribe “I could share this, there’s no real reason for me not to, but I want it all so I’m keeping it”

Any way of justifying that with “well you never visited him” or “I’m holding resentment about the way I was treated,” those are valid feelings, but they’re just justifications. They don’t really directly impact the decision you’re now making, which is “do I share this and improve the lives of my whole family? Or keep it all for myself.” You’re right to want to talk about or work through those issues—but they’re not going to give you complete cover to do whatever you want here with full moral authority. Easy to to conflate them.

Not to call *you* these things, but the decision is selfish and greedy. It may also be a justifiable decision, but that doesn’t make it selfless and altruistic. Still keeping a large material advantage for yourself by intentional choice.

Humans are those things though and if you want to make that choice, it’s valid. It will certainly give you a big financial advantage. But it’s an asshole move no matter how you slice it. And it can go faster than you think, so if you blow it all and try to come crawling back to the family, you’ll have to accept your place with them if they’ll even have you back. Just consider all the consequences here. But it is your decision to make. ######


Prompt:
I live with my BF, who shares custody of his 9 year old twins. With the pandemic hitting our state hard, he is not exchanging custody with his ex as often.  To help with them missing their mom, he installed a video chat program on their tablets so they can chat with her without needed him to help.

I requested that the kids only chat in their room, and that they only take pictures in their room. My reasoning is that it invasion of privacy to have someone I don’t know (I’ve only met her a couple of times and each time was very brief) getting pictures of the inside of the house – especially without my knowledge. Second, I am an artist and have pieces of my work on the walls. I don’t like the thought of some of my unfinished pieces being photographed. Third, I am working from home these days and would like to be able to walk around in my pajamas before I shower for the day without having to worry about being in the background of a photo.

I have no problem with them being on video in their rooms, or sending any photo they want from their room.  That is their space to share.

First day, one of the kids took a picture of the living room/dining room and sent it to his mom. I got very mad and insisted bf have a talk with him. He clearly thought I am being unreasonable and asked me how to explain to the kids why they can’t take photos in the house. I said that they need to learn boundaries, even if they don’t understand or agree with why.  Am I being unreasonable? ######

Response: YTA. It’s their home too. Anything you don’t want seen should be in your room/office/studio. Common areas of a house are common for a reason. ######


Prompt:
I'm going to keep this short. I graduated college last week. I took graduation pictures with my family and friends. I put up a little collage on facebook, twitter etc but I cut out my mum from the pictures before this. I have nothing against my mum but she looks significantly younger for her age and it annoys me. Some people think we're sister and one time someone even though she was younger than me. And people tend to think she's my dad's younger trophy wife (she's only 2 years younger than him). I mean I hope I get her genes but it really annoys me. So to avoid inevitable comments about her I cropped her out of our family picture.

She's hurt that I cut her out but not my brother or my dad. Like she's not part of the family. But really it was a harmless thing and I did thank my "parents" in my post so that includes her.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It’s sad that you say you graduated from college, and this question eludes you. ######


Prompt:
Background info
I’m 16. My dad married my stepmom like two years ago.

My step mom and I aren’t friendly but we don’t fight. We are just so-so. I’m not crazy about her. She likes to knit and make clothes and for me and my brother. They are always butt ugly.

Last school year my dad didn’t even get my brother and I back to school clothes, he just tried to make us wear her weird 1976 pilgrim clothes. I hate them. I had to beg my mom to get me a couple of outfits that I could actually wear.

My dad gave my brother and I the task of going through our clothes. We tend to give things that we can’t wear anymore to our cousins.

I was trying on clothes and posting silly Instagram stories. A lot of them were in her ugly clothes, and my friends and I had fun roasting them. Then I brought them all down to the pile for going to my cousins.

My step mom didn’t say anything about it at first, but when my dad got home for work they both confronted me about the Instagram stories the clothes.

I said that the clothes were ugly af and I didn’t want to wear them. They both started yelling at me and telling me to take down the ig stories. My dad wants me to apologize and take back the clothes. I don’t want them, so I refused.

They started calling me ungrateful, and just generally losing it. My dad has taken the rest of my clothes from my room and is demanding that I take back the ugly clothes that my stepmom made, and apologize for making fun of her on IG.

I don’t think I should be forced to wear the clothes, nor do I think my stepmom has any business sticking her nose in my social media. My brother says that I should have just put the clothes in a donation box or something to avoid trouble, and that I messed up here. He thinks I was an asshole for being so direct. AITA for trying to get rid of these clothes in her face? ######

Response:
 YTA. It’s one thing to say the clothes aren’t your style and refuse to wear them, that would be fine. It’s another to publicly make fun of them and yell at your parents (dad and stepmom) when they ask you to take down the public humiliation post. Your brother is being mature, I suggest you take his advice next time

Is there a reason your mom doesn’t buy you clothes? Do you even have a reason to hate your stepmom so much? ######


Prompt: My fiance and I had booked a weekend at a glamping resort for a weekend in April. We paid in full for the two nights upfront and they have a zero refund cancellation policy, however, if you cancel in time they will issue a credit to be used at a later date. Now, due to covid the reservation was canceled, and we were issued a credit. When we reached out to book at a later date during the summer they are charging us more since it is high season, and when we asked about our options for booking at the original rate they told us to book during the week or later in the year (November through March, not on a holiday). We feel our money is now being held hostage and we either have to pay more or book at a bad time so I called and disputed the charge with our credit card. We normally wouldn't try to get the money back but because of covid we don't know what the future will hold and we don't know if the credit would even cover a trip in the future due to their policies. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It’s like when you elect to change a flight with an airline. More often than not, you have to pay the difference in flight prices. You’re an adult. It’s on you to read the fine print when signing or paying for something. It sounds like the company was upfront about their no refund/voucher policy, and now you’re trying to find a loophole. If you want to go glamping during high season, you have to pay high season prices. ######


Prompt:
(if you’re wondering, i would be the asshole, and i’m going to be working on assessing that insecurity that prompted this discomfort within myself. with that being said, try not to hate me too much as you read.)

my boyfriend has hung a very large rainbow flag in his room. i am aware that the rainbow flag is representative of the whole lgbt community but also the rainbow flag is often considered the gay flag, which is why i’m a bit confused.

my boyfriend is bisexual. i am also. i am a little discomforted by this flag’s presence. i don’t own him, i will not request he take it down, he is his own person allowed to live and decorate as he pleases, but would i be the asshole for voicing my discomfort?

i’ve asked a few people, one called me homophobic and biphobic for being upset, one said i’m rightfully upset but shouldn’t bring it up, and one that said it’s completely disrespectful and i should be angry and talk to him.

it feels like he’s taking pride in being attracted to men...while he’s dating a woman. i also don’t want to censor him, but mostly, i want to be honest and let him know how i feel.

so, reddit, WIBTA if i told my boyfriend the pride flag he’s hung up makes me a little insecure as his girlfriend and i’m a bit uncomfortable with it?

EDIT: i AM NOT and WOULD NEVER ask him to take it down, i’m asking if i should bring up my personal feelings about what it represents or if i should keep them to myself.

EDIT 2: the phrase i used, “it feels like he’s taking pride in being attracted to men...while he’s dating a woman” has been problematic to some people. i think i must be harboring some insecurity because of his history of flirting while being in relationships. i see now how that could be perceived as near homophobic on my half and i apologize for that, i think it’s misplaced insecurity that has nothing to do with his sexuality and more to do with his history of being unfaithful. ######

Response: YTA. It’s also very confusing that you find it offensive when you are bisexual yourself. Bi pride keeps on going even if you are in a hereto relationship. It seems like this is more about your own insecurities. He isn’t saying “I LOVE MEN” by hanging the flag. He is saying, “I am proud of who I am!” ######


Prompt:
This has been an on going discussion between me and my mum for a while now, however, became an argument this morning.

A little back ground I am 19(m) who did not go to university and my sister is 21 and has just finished university.

My mum has said she wants me to start paying rent, which I have said on MULTIPLE occasions I would me more than happy to financially contribute but only when my sister does as well. However, she does not believe that my sister should be paying rent despite the fact that we are both currently living at home. Her reasoning being my sister is not currently earning money.

My parents have financially supported my sister through university, my sister could of got a job during her time at university so they didn't have to help her but she only really started getting some irregular paying work in her 3rd year of uni.

I have agreed today that I will contribute to my mum's petrol money as she does give me a lift to and from work (we work at the same campus). Which I believe is completely fair.

I feel like I am at a disadvantage for not going to uni/career choice and if anything the older sibling should start paying rent first!

Am I the arsehole/spoilt brat for not wanting to start paying rent until my sister does???

Thanks for any replies in advance! ######

Response: YTA. It's perfectly reasonable to insist that the people earning money should contribute. Are you going to cry to government because your older sister doesn't pay income tax? ######


Prompt:
I (20M) work at a big grocery store. Lately, this woman has been coming in during my shits, and she wears kind of provocative clothing (think hot pants and a belly shirt). Mind you, it’s still cold in my state and most customers come in fully dressed and wearing masks, so she sticks out. It’s become a bit of a joke between my coworkers and I.

Anyway, my friend “Kelsey” and I were stocking near the back of the store, and we saw the lady walk past. Her shorts were pulled up between her cheeks, and we were kind of joking back and forth about it (not so she could hear, obviously). I told Kelsey “that’s one for the spank bank”, obviously just joking around.

She didn’t say anything at the time, but she later complained to our shift lead. He pulled me aside and say not to make sexual references at work. In my opinion, we were just joking around, and I was obviously being sarcastic. I didn’t really think of it as a sexual reference.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It's not because you noticed someone dressed differently out of everyone else. YTA for making your coworker have to imagine your masterbation sessions. No one needs to hear that at work. ######


Prompt:
So my best friend moved to the UK 5 years ago for studies/work. Since we hadn't seen each other for awhile, last year he said he was going to come over, meet up with our old friendship group (5 guys in total) and we would go on a young guy's trip before he returned to the UK. I met my girlfriend earlier this year and her birthday coincidentally falls on the same day as the guy trio was supposed to start. For obvious reasons he can't come anymore and just decided to do a group video call, catch up then play games online.

Yesterday was the day, so I woke up early and made my gf breakfast in bed, gave the gift, and watched a movie with her. When the time came I asked my gf if she was okay with this and she said it was fine so I did it. It was a load of fun catching up with guys and playing against a bunch of random people online together. The call ended at around 9 and I went back to the bedroom to chill with my gf but she was already asleep so I went to bed as well.

This morning though she was extremely cold and didn't want to talk until I pushed it out of her. She says I was being an asshole for ignoring her on her big day even though she said it was fine. Besides that, the plans were set before we started dating and I would've missed the whole thing but at least this way I had the time to make her feel special in the morning. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA. It's not about the call, or that you took 8 hours. It's that you checked out on her completely once the call started. You didn't give her a single thought, to the point that she ate her birthday dinner alone, and then went to bed alone.

You apparently got up for *snacks* but didn't check in with her? Just to say hi and tell her how much fun you were having, or have her pop in to meet the blokes, nothing? That's why YTA. ######


Prompt:
So my sister made this peanut butter bread today. She said she saw a really easy recipe and decided to make it, this is when it was already done and out of the oven. She said she was letting it cool for 15 minutes before eating it.

30 minutes later there's no one around the kitchen and the bread is still there, I take a small slice and she comes out when I'm halfway done with it and gets pissed because she wanted to cut it first. She further explained that she *knew* I would do that and she couldn't believe me.

I asked why she didn't tell anyone she wanted to eat it first if she knew it would happen. She said she shouldn't have too.

I really don't see it as that big of a deal especially since I ate the butt end for everyone. And if it's such a big deal why didn't she explain her wishes if she knew what would happen? ######

Response: YTA. it's her damn bread, she put in the time and effort to bake it, let her cut it and have the first slice. ######


Prompt:
Me(15m) and my sister(22f) play the same online game which I will not be saying what. The game has 3 currencies and works like this:

1 is for the in-game stuffs, rewarded by clearing dungeons and tradable in the player market. 1 is for the cash shop, purchased with real life money, not tradable in game and can only buy items in the cash shop. The 3rd one is a currency that can buy both in-game stuffs and a limited selection of cash shop stuffs, also can be traded in the player market.

I have been playing around with the 3 currencies, having multiple accounts, tracking the market prices and making a "cheat sheet" out of it, where I figure out the time to buy things with 1 currency and sell them in another, and profit from the difference in between. I have been making a good profit of it in the game, and even traded some of them with real life money, not much but it's the sense of achievement that counts.

My sister who plays the same game has been jealous that I have become a "rich player" without spending too much money. Ever since she lost her job she had been trying to do what I did but never had the patience for it. She had been asking me for my cheat sheet but I won't lend her, I don't want competition in the game and they are MY hardwork.

Today we had an argument as she accused me for having no life and a hacker(no I don't), then tried to tear up my cheat sheet. I got mad too and called her a jobless loser who fails at everything and can't even win her little brother in game without begging. She actually broke down and cried.

What happens exceeds the word count, I just want to ask right now AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It's a video game, you're cutting down your sister for not having a job when 1) millions of people are on unemployment 2) we're at the start of what will be a long, long recession if not all out depression. Not having a job is not a moral failing on her part. ######


Prompt:
So, my girl friend and I are in a long distance relationship and today is her bday. We live in different states so I can't see her or travel to her. We were suppose to be in the Bahamas right now, but due to everything going on right now, we couldn’t do that.

I booked a Bahamas trip this week for 4th of July weekend and was going to fly her down to where I live. I didn't ask first because I know she can choose when she works and I wanted to surprise her and figured I can always compensate her for not going to work.

I took off work over 2 months in advance so I would 100% have the time off and told her the plans tonight. She is upset because the week I will be flying her down and we will be going, it’s her moms bday and she won’t feel right being in the same state and not seeing her mom. (We will be in this state for a few hours before we head over to the Bahamas lol... also her mom lives like 6 hours away)

She seems upset over this especially because I said I’m not rebooking and changing the dates - and she told my twin bro (they’re really close) that I should have asked her first and that you should always spend your moms bday with her.

I feel like she’s not grateful for the trip I’m taking her on, and wants to do everything for her mom and doesn’t even care to see me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to rebook the trip I already took time off for? ######

Response: YTA. It was clearly important to you to have time to plan and clear your schedule-- why should your girlfriend not have the same courtesy? Change the dates so it's actually a gift she'll enjoy. ######


Prompt:
So  I've (25M) lived with my ex (24F) for 5 years, we dated for almost 3 years, this was 2 years ago, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now- they're even planning on moving in with eachother, she's very excited, since breaking up we've just been friends.

I met my girlfriend 5 months ago, dating for 3months.

She knows I've got a roommate, she knows my roommate is a woman and she knows we are friendly.

I didn't think it was necessary.

We were recently talking about exs when I said I'd briefly dated *roommates name* - a silly mistake on my part.

She freaked out, calling me an AH for not telling her first and had she known she wouldn't have been as trusting of *roommates name* and that its something I should've told her.

My roommate agrees I should've told my girlfriend but my girlfriend is overreacting by ignoring me.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. It was a "silly mistake" to tell her that you "briefly dated"? So you deliberately tried to hide it, that goes beyond not mentioning. And 3 years is not brief at all, what are you talking about? Anyway don't hide things from your girlfriend. ######


Prompt:
Some time last year there was a Halloween party for the entire grade 10. Everyone was invited and every kid showed up. This is my first "real" party (alcohol and over 10 people) I've ever been to and I am extremely excited.

So I get to the party, drink some beer, drink some more cause I wasn't feeling drunk (never had alchohol before). Anyways, you proabably see were this is going by now. I get hella drunk, can barely walk, room is spinning, can't focus. I'm kinda scared cause this is all so new to me. Anyways, I start poking people and flirting with everyone, pretty much being a jerk. The guy who's house the party is at kicks me out and calls my dad. My dad is chill but still kinda pissed that I got that drunk. I haven't been invited to another party since.

So, AITA for getting drunk at my first party and acting like an idiot? Personally I see there point but it hurts knowing that there are party's every 2 weeks and I am not invited to any of them because I acted dumb my first time getting drunk. ######

Response:
 YTA. It sounds like you not only "acted dumb" but actively harassed people. It will be a while before people are willing to trust you again.

Also, just a heads-up:

*whose
*their point
*parties ######


Prompt: My sister and I are twins (25). She has a husband and now is having a child. I'm in a lesbian relationship and have been with my partner for nearly a year. My sister is borderline homophobic and has never made the effort with my partner. She always refers to her as my friend and that it's not possible to love somebody of the same sex. Anyway she had her baby shower last week and there was most of our family there. After she got most her gifts I proposed to my girlfriend. I've been planning this for around 2 months and decided I wanted to do it at my sisters baby shower as a way to show off my partner and how much I love her. It was an awkward disaster. She said yes btw. Anyway my sister was really rude to me and my parents weren't happy but supported my descion. My sister then texted me and said how disrespectful and fucked I am to marry my "dyke friend" at her baby shower. She still is furious at me but I don't see anything wrong with it. AITA ######

Response: YTA. It seems like you're just doing it to rub it in her face. Of course it was going to cause tension. This isn't to say I agree with your sisters views at all. But stealing the limelight at someone else's celebration literally never goes well! ######


Prompt:
The title says it. My fiance wants to open another account for "safety" when i asked her to give me more details about it she said that in case something happens she has savings.

At first i thought it was weird since we already have plenty of money and we have been saving together for a while now but then i looked it up a bit on the internet and noticed that many women make saving accounts in case of a divorce.

When i confronted her about it she admitted that if something happens at least she has the money and that i could do the same too. She also added that having saved money isn't a bad thing and that i shouldn't be upset with it.

The thing is i'm upset because she doesn't believe in us if she is saving for a potential divorce, what's the point in marrying then ? we got into a fight to which i stopped replying for a few days.

When i came back she said i was an asshole for shutting her down like this, that i purposely don't understand where she's coming from. Now she wants to take a break.

So Am i the asshole ? ######

Response: YTA. it is wise to have back up savings in case the worst should happen - for example if your fiance turns into a controlling arse who gets upset at you having your own savings for just in case. ######


Prompt:
So this happened in March but my wife is still upset about it.

I have three children with my wife, 6,4 and 4months.

We bottle feed the youngest.

Come mothers day my wife is exhausted, I cooked breakfast with my youngest helping while our 4year old did some art work for her.

When my wife went for her nap I thought I'd take the children out, my eldest decided to take a nap with her mother though so it was just the two youngest.

We spent maybe 3 hours with my mother and an hour travelling, when I got back I cooked dinner and I thought everything was OK.

my wife claims I ruined her mothers day, I don't see how since we didn't have plans and she was asleep for at least an hour.

She's still insisting I'm TA for taking the children out.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. It honestly didn't occur to you that she might want to spend the day with her family? You decided to give YOUR mother a nice mother's day instead of your wife.

Did you even ask her what she wanted for mother's day? ######


Prompt:
My gf has very bad periods. There is very little she can do. She has gone through multiple methods of birth control and they have all had extremely negative consequences on her mental health, inducing psychosis twice. One form put her in the mental hospital. She chose to deal with her periods.

The problem I have is her underwear is always stained with blood. It's gross. Although they are washed thoroughly, she often can't get stains out.

I asked her to buy new underwear. She explained to me that she does, and unless she is extremely careful, she will get blood on her new panties. She tried to compromise and say that she will make sure I do not see them whenever we have sex or she is around me.

I put my foot down and asked her to not wear them around me.

She got upset and argued that they are never dirty.

Was I TA? ######

Response: YTA. It happens. Even with all of the protection one can use, leaks happen, especially if her periods are bad. And those stains do not come out easily. Even if she only wore dark underwear, some discharge can actually have a bleaching effect on fabric - so sometimes underwear will just be stained. Doesn't mean they are dirty. SEEING the stains offends your delicate sensibilities? Grow up. ######


Prompt:
My son and DIL got married this year and they are expecting a little boy in November around Thanksgiving. She has three kids from a previous marriage a set of twins 5, and a 2 1/2 year old. My son has always wanted to have a farm and this April they bought a bunch of animals that they have been taking care of.

Well my son has worked full time at a job and he also has his own business that he works at on his days off. Very hardworking man. His wife used to work at a university but has been laid off since March. Her only income has been child support that she uses to be her kids things and groceries and occasionally the animal feed. She pays for no other bills, my son does. She also is a rather plain Jane as she doesn’t even wear makeup or wear nice clothes just a t shirt and maternity jeans.

Well she was supposed to go back to work next month so I was having dinner with them at their home and asked about childcare for the kids. She then informs me that since they have been fine while she has been off work that she won’t be going back and will be homeschooling the 5 year olds and that the baby was due in November and that my son wants her to stay home and care for the baby instead of a stranger.

My son is sweet man but he is easily manipulated and I feel that’s what she is doing. When my son left the room I told her that she needed to go back to work and pull her own and her kids weight and that my son shouldn’t have to support her and her kids as they weren’t his and for her to stop using him for her own personal gain. She began to cry and went upstairs. My son came down and asked me what I said and he told me that they both talked about this and made a decision and I was out of line. He asked me to leave. His own mother. My husband told me that I need to go over there and apologize but I stand by what I said. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. It doesn't sound like either of them are being manipulated, and it is their decision to make. If they're happy with the decision - and even if they aren't - it's theirs to discuss and decide on, not yours.

Also, the woman is pregnant, and you're bitching about what she wears? Jeans are perfectly acceptable for anyone, anytime (situationally appropriate, of course). She doesn't owe it to anyone to get dressed up.

Edit: As someone who became a man's daughter through marriage and his parents' granddaughter, I'm appalled by your apparent disregard for the children you obviously don't consider part of your son's family now (and by extension, your family). I was very lucky in that when my Mom and (technically step) Dad got married (I was six), I got two amazing grandparents, a new uncle, and a whole bunch of cousins out of it. ######


Prompt:
My daughter’s been faking being sick for months now. She constantly complains about being in pain and feeling sick, but all the doctors she’s seen have said there’s nothing wrong with her. Every test they’ve run has come back normal, and all the images show nothing unusual. There’s nothing wrong with her.

At this point she’s just wasting everyone’s time and money. My wife and I have decided that we’re not going to take it anymore. She’s obviously lying for attention or to feel “special”, and it’s not going to be tolerated any longer. She’s not sick.

We told her today that she needs to stop this, because it’s a waste of time. She’s obviously fine. She threw a fit and screamed at us, and then called her aunt (her mom’s sister) to complain. Now my wife’s family is blowing up on us, calling us horrible people and sociopaths. ######

Response: YTA. It can take a hell of a long time to get a chronic health disorder diagnosed. Try and think back to when you were your daughter’s age: would you limit yourself from having fun just for attention? ######


Prompt:
This happened back in Feb but it’s still an issue which she brought up recently.

The title makes me sound like I’m definitely the asshole, but just let me explain:

So my (25M) girlfriend (25F) was picking up something at my workplace. This is an office job, but it’s very stressful. Anyway, I went down to the lobby to handoff the thing my girlfriend needed. I went back up right after.

Later that night, my girlfriend was telling me how she went to the bathroom in the lobby, and there was this girl quietly crying. My girlfriend said she stayed for a little bit and comforted her.

Now the reason I am really annoyed by this is because that girl had got into a *huge* argument with out boss (she was clearly in the wrong though). She was acting super arrogant about something and basically got chewed out by our boss. He was seriously pissed. Basically what happened was, our boss asked her to get him a tea bag from our coffee station. She thought she was to good for that (this is something that we all have to do from time to time) and they got into a huge argument.

Our boss just told her to go home for the day, and the other bosses (our boss’s peers) didn’t say anything.

Obviously people talk, and pretty much everyone agrees that that girl was in the wrong. Sure none of us *like* having to do that stuff, but it rarely happens.

Anyway so I guess the girl was crying in the lobby and when my girlfriend told me about what happened, I instantly recognized who she was talking about.

I told my girlfriend that I really wish she hadn’t done that because I didn’t want it to somehow seem like I, by relation, was taking sides against my boss, especially considering that this girl was the one who started the whole conflict.

My girlfriend says that regardless, it’s “empathetic” to still try to comfort her then. Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She said I’m being really cold about this. Am I the wrong one? ######

Response:
 YTA. Is your boss really that preoccupied with who your girlfriend talks to?  He’s apparently too busy to get his own tea bag. He shouldn’t have time to care who talks to whom in the lobby.

> Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong.

Of course not. Talk all you want, it doesn’t change the info she had at the time.  Be glad you’ve got an emotionally intelligent partner and don’t waste further breath on the subject.

You’re kissing the wrong butt here, dude. ######


Prompt:
Basically, a few months ago I got kicked out of school. I deserved it, my behaviour was wrong, and I truly do feel bad for what I did. Although I do still feel bad, I was really happy for the clean slate it gave me. I started at a new school, made some new friends, got in with the "right" people and I'm really really happy.

Now, the other night I was talking to a friend on the phone and they mentioned they might be switching to the school I got kicked out of. I told them that I would not remain friends with them if they switched to this school.

My reason for saying what I said is that I hate that school. The teachers, people, everything about it. I am not in contact with anyone from that school, I don't want to be associated with it anymore and I'm afraid if I remain friends with them if they switch to this school, then I'll be associated with it.

My friend says I'm the asshole because I said I wouldn't remain friends with them. They said "switching schools won't change who I am".

Yes, it won't change who they are, but it will change a lot in our friendship if they choose to attend this school.

&#x200B;

Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. Is this person a minor? You realize your friend may not have a choice, right? Like, his parents may want him to go to your old school. And you said yourself, you deserved to get expelled. So why all the hate? Stop putting this pressure on your friend. It’s not fair. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I have been together for five years, married for three. Everything in our relationship is great, she’s the best partner I’ve ever had which makes this situation even harder for me. Since the start we’ve always split everything 50/50. Dates, bills, rent. I’ve never paid for her but she has paid for me sometimes even though I insist she doesn’t.

Since our marriage, things have gotten bad. I make twice as much as her but we still split everything 50/50. Leaving her with way less money than me after everything’s paid for. Because of this, she expects me to start paying fully for miscellaneous things like the Netflix, whenever we go out to movies/dinner, tickets to events. But just because I make more doesn’t mean I should have to pay for those things all by myself. I still expect her to contribute her half.

She even made a diagram showing that since I refuse to change our 50/50 rule, she’s technically contributing way more to the household financially and she cleans and cooks for the most part too so she added on that it would be easier for her mentally and financially to live on her own and pay her own bills then to continue to be with me. She says she’s unhappy and that sometimes in relationships it can’t be 50/50, people have to pick up the slack to make the marriage happier. But why does it have to be me? Aita for not wanting to change our 50/50 rule? She’s asking to pay 30% of the rent and bills instead of 70%. ######

Response:
 YTA. Is this a serious question? Your *wife* not only makes substantially less than you do, but does almost all of the housework, and you're not willing to even consider contributing more to the bills? Why? Why are you okay with her contributing so much more of her income than you are of yours?

>I make twice as much as her but we still split everything 50/50. Leaving her with way less money than me after everything’s paid for.

You are the asshole. One of the biggest assholes I've come across, on this sub. She's your wife, not your roommate. ######


Prompt: I (28) have had a strained relationship with my dad (59) since I could remember. we both love one another he just has a drill sergeant approach and doesn't show emotions a lot. he was getting on my case about paying for the car he bought for me, with the expectation of paying him back. we got into a heated argument until he ended it with telling me he aint paying for anymore of my shit and stormed out to rant to my mom. my friend was just coming over. my friend was orphaned pretty young, like 3ish I think and didn't have a dad like figure in her life. she was raised by her aunt. it's irritating how much she whines and brings this up I mean i get it that's rough but she mentions it weekly. Today it was about how she wished she had a dad to help her figure out relationships because she keeps getting caught in crappy ones. because I was still pissed about my own dad I told her that having a dad isn't like the movies and it's not all that cracked up. I told her to take mine for example, he's controlling and doesn't give me relationship advice. I thought I convinced her until later that night another friend messaged me saying I was horrible. Was I? ######

Response:
 YTA. imagine having the audacity to complain about your dad in front of a girl who misses hers beyond belief. and will never be able to laugh, love, or cOmplain about because he is DEAD.

#YTA ######


Prompt: My girlfriend and I are having a baby. She is six months pregnant. She keeps asking me when I'm going to quit and she gets mad when I say I will soon. I was planning on waiting until I took paternity leave to quit but she wants me to quit now. She keeps saying the smoke smell is bad for her and the baby, but my parents smoked all the time and I'm fine. ######

Response: YTA. If you’re smoking near a pregnant woman (much less your girlfriend who has asked you to stop) clearly you didn’t turn out fine. ######


Prompt:
I'm from Texas, and am a senior in high school aspiring to study economics, finance, or anything else business-related. I got into UT Austin's business program, which is ranked pretty highly, but I had also gotten into some top schools like Harvard and Yale. I qualify for in-state tuition for UT, and plus have gotten some merit scholarships that bring my tuition down basically to a free ride. Harvard wasn't nearly as generous, since we're fairly well off, and the amount I would have to pay would nearly wipe out all the college savings I have.

I prefer Harvard despite the costs-- it's more prestigious, and it's a change of scenery from Austin, where I've lived all my life. I talked to my parents about this, and they told me that I should chose Harvard, since it's a huge opportunity for me. UT Austin is good, but Harvard is Harvard. They also opposed the idea of having me work part-time, since I should focus on studying, clubs, and internships (which I agree with). My younger brother (16) would have no college funds, but his dream school is UT Austin. They stated that they could easily handle his tuition from their normal paychecks without having to use savings, since we're in-state, so it works out even if we spend the entire fund on me.

So I decided to go to Harvard next year. This pissed off my brother. I asked him, didn't he want to go to UT Austin? I explained that he could still go without having to take out loans or whatever. He agreed, but was still mad, for no apparent reason.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. If you want Harvard you should pay for it rather then screwing over your brother. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I have been together for five years, married for three. Everything in our relationship is great, she’s the best partner I’ve ever had which makes this situation even harder for me. Since the start we’ve always split everything 50/50. Dates, bills, rent. I’ve never paid for her but she has paid for me sometimes even though I insist she doesn’t.

Since our marriage, things have gotten bad. I make twice as much as her but we still split everything 50/50. Leaving her with way less money than me after everything’s paid for. Because of this, she expects me to start paying fully for miscellaneous things like the Netflix, whenever we go out to movies/dinner, tickets to events. But just because I make more doesn’t mean I should have to pay for those things all by myself. I still expect her to contribute her half.

She even made a diagram showing that since I refuse to change our 50/50 rule, she’s technically contributing way more to the household financially and she cleans and cooks for the most part too so she added on that it would be easier for her mentally and financially to live on her own and pay her own bills then to continue to be with me. She says she’s unhappy and that sometimes in relationships it can’t be 50/50, people have to pick up the slack to make the marriage happier. But why does it have to be me? Aita for not wanting to change our 50/50 rule? She’s asking to pay 30% of the rent and bills instead of 70%. ######

Response: YTA. If you truly want things to be 50/50, why aren’t you doing half of the housework? You don’t want equality, you want superiority. ######


Prompt:
Whenever my roommate and I go grocery shopping together I notice that she just puts stuff in her basket without looking at how much things cost.

We were at Whole Foods earlier today and we were in the fridge section and she randomly was adding some stuff to her basket that she wanted to try. I asked her how much it costed when she came back over to me and she said she didn't know.

I got very annoyed and told her off in front of some people about how she shouldn't act so privileged and that some people have to live off food stamps and don't have the same luxuries that she does or make as money as she does to just be running around buying whatever she wants. I got some dirty looks from the people standing around us but one lady came up to us and she took my side saying that she doesn't take things for granted.

My roommate started to get upset and cried saying that she isn't trying to act privileged and that she just wanted to try the food and figured it wouldn't be too much out of her budget. I was just getting a lot of dirty looks though so I was wondering AITA? ######

Response: YTA. If you shared finances and she was always short on rent I would understand, but you’re just mad at her for spending the money she worked for. Definitely an asshole ######


Prompt:
So I (48M) have a daughter (16F) who spends a lot of time playing video games. She’s often on voice chat with other people, who she’s said were “friends from school”. I’ve always thought it was a bit suspicious because my daughter has complained about not really having friends at school.

I interrupted her doing schoolwork to ask her for a favour (take out the trash), when I saw I weird message pop up on the bottom of the screen. When I asked her who it was, she seemed nervous but just brushed it off as “a friend”. After she left, I decided to check her computer and saw the message was from Discord. I took a brief glance at her messages/servers and I realized these weren’t people she knew. I interrogated her about it and she got defensive because I went onto her computer but then admitted they were online friends. She said most of them were other girls her age, but some were guys and some were older (not that it matters, people can lie).

I’ve always had a strict rule with her online access: no online friends, no talking to people online, and preferably no online multiplayer games. You don’t know who is behind the screen and they could be dangerous. This has been a rule since she was a child.

I’ve decided to ban her from playing games. She’s allowed on her PC to do schoolwork, but during strict times and monitored. My daughter started crying when I told her and said she knew what she was doing and how to be safe, and these were her only friends and it’s q*****tine so she’s isolated. I told her this was for her own protection and she started screaming at me. My daughter hasn’t left her room. My wife has taken my side but I’m wondering if I’m in the right here. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. If you keep this up your daughter will never speak to you again once she leaves your house. I hope you’re prepared for that. ######


Prompt:
The title says it all. My wife has very visible acne scars. Obviously, I love her all the same, and I find her stunningly beautiful - but ofc I'd prefer her without the scars. I never told her that because she can't make them go away and it'd be pointlessly rude, of course.

When we go out, my wife wears some makeup, and we're typically only together at home in the evening, but we're currently both confined at home. I barely notice her scars in the artificial lights of our home, but they're far more visible in the pale light of the sun. In the day with all windows open it looks like that: https://images.app.goo.gl/mvcHphVRiBuFBCf97

Ive taken the habit to keep curtains closed and the lights turned on instead. She loves it and asks for it sometimes because it "feels cozy". I didn't tell her my reasons to do it in the first place, but neither of us minds.

I mentioned it to my sister lately without thinking much of it. She freaked out and said I'm awful and that it means I hate my wife's "true appearance". I think of it as me choosing a flattering light rather than one that makes her less beautiful than what she can look like. What do you think? ######

Response:
 YTA. If you have to keep your motivation a secret from your wife, chances are you're not doing it for a good reason.

Aaaand that edit. Damn. You're digging your own grave trying to make yourself sound like some kind of hero for marrying her. Don't try to guilt trip a whole subreddit, dude. ######


Prompt:
My son is 17 years old and over the past few months he's been acting very peculiar and we came to blows over this and he spoke back to me saying that they're not his fault and he doesn't know how to do. Here is what I noticed from him

* He's suddenly gone very lethargic very quickly. He'll get up, sit on his chair for about an hour and be that tired that he'll sleep for another 3 or 4 hours but will still be awake all night long. I've suggested for him to go on walks as simple but effective exercise that will tire him out so he'll sleep at least 6 to 8 hours at night. He declines because he's tired
* He's stopped eating. This concerned me, he says that it's because he has zero appetite. I tried to make sure he was eating right when I first noticed this back around last December time. He has obviously thinned out beyond belief (you can see an uncomfortable number of bones). I also believe that this might be why he's tired all day
* He drinks literally all the liquid I buy from my food shop and then some. Like, he'll say he's that thirsty and has a really dry throat when he drinks a two litre bottle of Coke in literally two or three attempts. A literal sip for him is essentially drinking a full pint
* He complains about having to go toilet more often. I told him that this was because of the amount that he drinks. We had to stop twice when I was in the car with him the other day, the distance wasn't even two miles

Is me telling him that he needs to help himself worthy of me being TA? (made a new account for this post) ######

Response:
 YTA. If you are reading this reply and you aren't already at the hospital with your son then you may be the biggest asshole on the planet at this moment.

Your son is seriously ill and needs medical attention immediately. Take. Him. To. The. Hospital. NOW. ######


Prompt:
Restaurants Just opened in my city where I am, so I wanted to just relax with and talk with my family. We missed times like this so we figured it was the right time.

I told her let's go some where a little nicer than usual. Meaning like upscale place. I wanted to eat good that night. Told her it was a steak house, didn't ask anymore questions so told her nothing else really about it. Figured she would know it cost a little more since I told her it was something nicer. Picked her up and we headed the restaurant.

We get there, she says "STK huh", I said "yeah, have you ever been here", she responded with "nope" told her she in for suprise. We walk up and get seated, I can tell shes impressed by the environment of the place. We get handed our menus, she looks at up at me almost immediately. Didn't even say say anything to me just looked at me. Face of shock. After looking at the menu for the couple's of minutes, she asked on how much we exactly plan on spending. Told her I'm going to get a steak, so I have no idea.

Staters alone are $20 then entrees vary from $40 to $50. I ended up spending $110 that night, she spent $60. We had good conversations throughout dinner but when it was over she told me I wish I told her exactly how expensive it was before. For she could've know how much she planned on spending. ######

Response: YTA. If you are going to invite someone to a fancy place and not tell them where before hand you should have paid. ######


Prompt:
My kid got into college A, which is our local state school. The price is reasonable, has a major related to what she wants to study, and is quite reputable.

However, she just got off the waitlist college B, which is across the country, and most importantly private and more expensive. It is ranked a little better.

Tuition is more expensive, but due to my income, we will not be getting any financial aid. College B will strain my finances a little, although I will be able to make it work quite comfortably.

I am refusing to pay for my daughter's education if she decides to go to college B. She's crying bloody murder, and says I should at least pay the portion that I would have used to pay tuition at college A.

I am firmly opposed to college B, as I see it is a very elitist school, and I don't agree with a lot of it's recent administration choices. I told her she can either go to the state school, or go to the private school on 100% loans. I won't be pitching in a dime to fund a private education system, if she has the choice to go to a perfectly good public school. ######

Response:
 YTA. If there's money aside to pay X amount for school, that money should go to whichever school she chooses.

Financially manipulating her into making a choice that will affect *her* whole life based on what *you* want is of course, asshole behavior. ######


Prompt: The other day I commissioned an artist to draw my character. I paid $60 for the full body shaded which is a bit pricy (for me) but I assumed maybe this artist takes a long time like 6-7 hours which is why they price it like that, so I understood why. They sent my a sketch not long after I paid and I approved it expecting to wait a while for the finished art. Well what ended up happening is that they sent me the finished artwork early in the next day and I was like that was fast?? The artist said they work quick and plus I got in early on their queue. Out of curiosity I asked them how long it actually took them for the drawing and they said just under two hours..... I know what you’d may be thinking that I should be happy I got the fast service but hear me out. I felt a little bit scammed because I paid $60 only because I thought this artist probably takes a lot of time, so it is worth it to pay a high price for it. But they didn’t even draw for a full two hours... I asked the artist if I could have a partial refund maybe because it clearly did not take that long. They told me straight up no and seemed kinda annoyed with me. Idk I just feel like the price wasn’t justified. I talked to my friends and like half of them said they understood and the other half said It was a dick move even just for asking. But to be fair the ones that said it was a dick move were also artists so they are biased. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. If the art is good then why does it matter how long it took? Longer times doesn't mean better quality. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend bought an outfit online. It’s a tube top and a short skirt. The tube top just covers her boobs and the skirt is short enough to where her ass hangs out. I think it’s really hot, but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable for her wearing it in public because I felt like it was too revealing. She told me she didn’t feel that way but she also just bought the outfit. I told her that I should have at least a small say in what she wears out in public because we’ve been dating for over a year but she thinks I’m trying to be controlling. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: YTA. if thats what she wants to wear, then she can ######


Prompt:
Whenever my roommate and I go grocery shopping together I notice that she just puts stuff in her basket without looking at how much things cost.

We were at Whole Foods earlier today and we were in the fridge section and she randomly was adding some stuff to her basket that she wanted to try. I asked her how much it costed when she came back over to me and she said she didn't know.

I got very annoyed and told her off in front of some people about how she shouldn't act so privileged and that some people have to live off food stamps and don't have the same luxuries that she does or make as money as she does to just be running around buying whatever she wants. I got some dirty looks from the people standing around us but one lady came up to us and she took my side saying that she doesn't take things for granted.

My roommate started to get upset and cried saying that she isn't trying to act privileged and that she just wanted to try the food and figured it wouldn't be too much out of her budget. I was just getting a lot of dirty looks though so I was wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. If she's paying it for herself, like you have said in comments, it is literally none of your business how she chooses to spend her money.

And then to humiliate her in public too.

Geez, if I were her, you'd soon be my ex-roommate. ######


Prompt: My daughter has been doing digital art commissions online for the past 5 years. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that she is able to be completely independent with this and support both herself, and her boyfriend while he attends college. But my problem here is that I feel like she is wasting her life. All of her friends went off to actual colleges and already graduated with degrees that will help get them somewhere big. My daughter? She took like 5 classes in community college, said schools not for her and wanted to “focus on her art” instead. I know this sounds shitty but I *want* to have things I can be proud of her for, I *want* to tell my colleagues and friends how I’m so proud my daughter graduated college! I’ve tried speaking to her and telling her you know life moves on and maybe she likes drawing but she’s almost 23 and it’s time she starts thinking about her future. She’s stuck in the past while her peers are years ahead of her, already graduated and some with jobs already. She *needs* do get up and get a real job at some point. I’m only thinking about her future. Because of this art thing she has no college degree, and ZERO job experience in the last 5 years. She’s basically fucked herself, but I still believe she can make it work. She just got angry with me. She told me to stop trying to tell her what to do with her life and that she’s happy and comfortable now. I’m not trying to dictate anything, but I’m trying to stress that she think about her future for once. She refused to listen to anything I say. What is she just gonna not have a real job or any experiences to back her up for *another* 5 years? I won’t be supporting her then. But I’m willing to now and apparently she doesn’t want that. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. If it pays the bills, it’s a job. It’s a job that she’s passionate about and makes her happy instead of being miserable and unhappy at a regular 9-5. Just because it’s not a traditional job or it’s not what you would do, it doesn’t make it less valid. Not to mention, digital art is a fast growing industry of which there’s growing demand for. From your post, it seems you’re trying to push you ideas on jobs and careers on her and you’re only focusing on yourself and what you want. Newsflash, your daughter is a different person from you and you have no right to project what you want onto her. ######


Prompt: One time a girl got super intoxicated at a party and started telling her secrets and pretty much making a complete fool out of herself. My friends were recording and laughing so I decided to join in. I started to feel bad the next day but my friends said it’s here fault because if she was an actual adult then she wouldn’t have been the most fucked up at the party. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I’m embarrassed for you that you even need to ask. ######


Prompt:
Hello, I am writing this because my husband just told me I was the asshole but I strongly disagree.

My son is currently in 8th grade and always tells me about the crazy things students do to each other in his class. While I do believe some were inappropriate, I just took it as they being kids and would hopefully grow out of it once they get older. However, what my son told me happened yesterday was completely different. During his math online test, some students attempted to copy but were later caught by the teacher and ended up getting a failing mark. When his lesson ended, my son was having a conversation with these students and others from his class and the words they used to describe this teacher was honestly horrible and disgusting. I never imagined these children would know this many swear words! This was extremely inappropriate and I contacted the teacher and told her everything that happened and urged her to tell their parents about these students.

I told my husband and son about it and my son got very mad at me and told me they will all think he is the ‘teachers puppet’ and will lose his friends. My husband also agrees I was the asshole and to next time mind my own business. I told him that it is my business that these students have a terrible behavior.

&#x200B;

Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts about this. ######

Response: YTA. I’m a teacher and I’m sure my students talk smack about me when I’ve had to be particularly harsh. They’re kids, they’re venting about something that upset them and I would never take it personally if I heard about it. The teacher is a professional and you have put your son in a position to be bullied by his peers. You should have spoken to your son privately about why talking badly about people in that manner is inappropriate rather than reaching out to the teacher. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway for obvious reasons. Also this is long.

I (35F) married my husband (56 M) 5 years ago and his family has been awful to me and our son (7M) because I was the other woman. His ex-wife dragged him through a two year long contentious divorce and got the house, pretty much everything he owned except his business, and an exorbitant amount of child support.

They had three children together, “Junior” 24M, “Eve” 22F and “Kate” 16F). The older two do not acknowledge me. Kate is not rude because she generally stays with us every other weekend but she will not talk to me if she can avoid it. Our 7 year old “Brady” has cerebral palsy and is non verbal and non mobile, so they use that as an excuse not to develop a relationship with him at all. My husband was very close with Junior before we got together and they used to do typical father-son things. After his parents divorce, Junior grew distant and went away to college, and my son will never be able to do the bonding things my husband wants. Eve is engaged and stated that she does not want my husband to walk her down the aisle because he doesn’t “respect the covenant of marriage.” She’s also made it clear I’m not invited to the wedding.

My husband’s parents and sister are religious and do not approve of the adultery, the divorce or my having his child out of wedlock. When my father in law passed, he left his other grandchildren 6 figure inheritances on top of their college funds and left my son and husband just enough that we couldn’t contest the will. We recently found out that the whole family does zoom nights and exclude us.

We recently had an argument about his family and how they treat my son as less than equal. I said that I’m done with them and his children. I’m tired of watching my husband’s heart break and I want him stop begging his family to forgive him for a choice we made to be happy together. My husband said I was an asshole and he can’t just give up his kids to make me happy. So AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. I'm honestly only sorry for your son. You and hubby dearest deserve every bit of the vitriol coming your way. Your husband cheated on his wife, and you were a knowing participant in the ruination of a marriage.

>I want him stop begging his family to forgive him for a choice we made to be happy together.

Have you ever apologized for your role in breaking apart your husband's children's family? Has he? I see a whole lot of wrongdoing from the both of you, but not one ounce of contrition. Pretty hard to forgive someone who isn't remotely sorry. ######


Prompt:
My ex-husband and I have been separated for a year now and I had recently seen on facebook that my step daughter had joined the military and was very excited about it.

This confused me because she's been diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple years ago, and I was under the impression the military did not take people like that in.

I messaged her and asked her if she had disclosed her previous mental illnesses to the military. She said she hadn't because she knew she would not have been let in even though she felt "fine" now.

I called her recruiter and told him that she has a history of mental illness that she did not disclose. I was doing this out of worry for her. If the military finds out she lied, she could go to prison. He told me he would talk to me step daughter about it.

The next day, she calls me and was very upset on the phone. She asked me why would I ever say that and put her future in jeopardy. I told her that SHE was the one putting her future in jeopardy by lying to the US government! She said some very vile things to me and that was the last I've heard of her.

My ex husband called me and told me to "stay the fuck away from me and my family" and then blocked me on everything.

I don't see what I did wrong here. I was only looking out for her. Does she want to sit in prison for a couple years due to a lie? She can go to college like a normal girl her age. ######

Response:
 YTA. I'm a veteran, lots of us had depression at one point, but it's very commonly accepted that it is okay not to mention that at MEPPS. As long as she is okay at basic and AIT they're fine.

Anyway she wouldn't go to jail if they had a problem- just be kicked out.

You didn't know that,  because you don't know this culture,  but you still chose to put your 2 cents in which is an asshole move. ######


Prompt:
I know this isn't the practice for all people or couples, but I think it is good hygiene. This is even more true during summer when people sweat more and have more body oil.

In the past when she would spend the night, I never said anything, but now that we are living together and sharing a bed each night, I told her that she can't come home and crawl into bed without taking a shower. She has to take a shower unless she is sick or there's a good reason why.

She has taken this the wrong way and is viewing this as me telling her she is dirty, but it's not unique to her. I do this myself because I also would be gross if I didn't shower before bed. I don't think she is gross at all, and I think she actually would feel better and more relaxed if she took a pre-bed shower. I do.

She thinks I am being too rigid about, but to me this is all common sense and shouldn't be a controversial request.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I would say most people don’t shower before bed every night. Especially if they are showering every day in the morning. Just because you like to do that, doesn’t mean you should force your girlfriend to follow that. It’s not your choice. ######


Prompt:
My gf and I share 2 cats together. The first one we adopted about 4 years ago and the second one we rescued from the streets one year ago.

However our first cat started getting fat so my girlfriend started starving the cats basically. She feeds them 1/4 cup of food twice a day. If you look at how much 1/4 of dry cat food is, you’ll see it’s next to nothing. For one of the cats bowls it only fills like 1/4th of the entire shallow oval bowl.

The cats wake us up in the morning and try their best to get our attention at night because they’re so hungry. If you walk near their food they’ll run over thinking they’ll get fed. I feel so bad for them. We used to fill their bowls to the top and for a few months we had a gravity feeder. I at least tried to get the GF to go back to at least just filling the bowls normally. She won’t budge.

I’ve tried secretly feeding the cats extra but the GF found out and starts HIDING the food because I’m ruining their diet and feeding schedule.

She’s basically starving the cats. I’ve been contacting rescues on FB to see if they’ll take the cats and I posted their pictures on a local facebook group hoping to find a better fit because I don’t think my gf can properly take care of them anymore and she won’t let me properly feed the cats a good amount. Does this make me an asshole or is it the right thing to do for the welfare of the cats. I don’t think she see’s what she’s doing is wrong and wouldn’t willingly give the cats to a better home or adjust their feeding because one of them just happens to be little fat. ######

Response: YTA. I would bet money that you are actually the irresponsible pet owner that made your cats fat.They are cats. They aren't supposed to eat that much. Why don't you educate yourself on how much a cat is supposed to eat instead of undermining your partner? ######


Prompt:
Ok. Hear me out. I have a REGULAR name. I just like it pronounced a certain way. It’s literally like the saying “tomato, tomAto” same word but pronounced differently. So let’s say l like my name pronounced “tomato” I always introduce myself as “tomato” and I’ve never once said my name as “tomAto” but for some reason folks prefer to call me “tomAto vs tomato” and it IRKS me! I can’t understand why they can’t get it right.

Welllllllll, during our 70 person staff meeting some one called me “tomAto” and I flipped and stopped the meeting told the person how to pronounce my name and then taught the whole staff a song so they would remember how to pronounce my name correctly. Am I the ass hole?? ######

Response:
 YTA. I was 100% on your side at first. If you say your name like tar-a instead of tare-a or lar-ren instead of lor-ren, that IS your name and isn't open to interpretation, and I think it's appropriate to clarify.

But a song?? Really, a song??? ######


Prompt:
Me (28F) and my gf (26F) had been planning of getting married (as soon as the quarantine ends), but because of an argument we had these plans are on hold.

First some backstory. My MIL is very homophobic and tries to undermine my marriage every chance she can get. When we are with her, she barely interacts with me, only acting with disgust anytime she does. Even so, my gf still loves MIL for some reason. I tried before suggesting that we should go no contact with MIL, but my gf refused, stating that MIL was a nice person, she just had her faults.

Last night my gf and I got into a massive argument over the fact that my gf wanted MIL to attend the wedding and I did not. For context we were both fairly drunk, earlier we had a glass of wine with supper. We were talking about nothing in particular when we started talking about the wedding. My gf stated how she was looking forward to it, how she could not wait to see MIL on her big day. I, rather rudely I may add, shot her down, telling her that there was no way that I would allow MIL at our wedding. She would just ruin it with one of her homophobic rants. My gf starting to go on one of her dumb speeches, trying to justify MILs homophobic behaviour by saying that deep down MIL is actually a nice person. Now, it might have been the wine speaking, but I had enough. I started to scream at my gf, telling her to shut up, to start trying to justify a homophobe's actions. I was not going to let her misplaced loyalty to her family ruin our wedding. My gf starting ugly crying and ran out of the house, screaming incoherently at me as she got into her car.

Later I tried calling her, but she would not respond. I have heard from others that she is staying at a friend’s house. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to lose her over a stupid argument. Reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA. I understand your concern but trying to force your SO to get no contact isn’t okay. That’s STILL her mom ######


Prompt:
I've been married to my wife for the past year three years and dated her for five before that. She's extremely family orientated. She loves family and being with family. Her picture of a refreshing day is spending the day with family members. Since her mother died pretty young, she became really attached to my mother who likes to baby my siblings and I. She feels like the two of them have a special relationship and she loves it.

Problem is, my mother doesn't like her. Nor does my father. I think they're just really hung up on my previous girlfriend who they were really rooting for. They aren't outright rude to her face and try to be friendly but they can be a bit off behind her back. One example would be their nickname for her which is Fiona. Obviously she loves it and sees it as something sentimental but it's actually just a reference to Shrek.

Today I was on a call with them and my mom asked how Fiona was. I shouted at her to stop using that name (spoken about it before) and warned her against calling her that. My wife overheard the conversation and asked me why I was so upset over it. Eventually I told her the truth and she understandably was angry. I gave her space and she called her dad. I didn't want to eavesdrop on the conversation but she did call me an asshole. I understand that she's upset and rightfully so but to be honest I'm struggling to see the wrong in me lying to her about this. She was happy in the ignorance of what was going on, my kids were happy with their grandparents in their lives and I was happy keeping the peace. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA. I understand you're trying not to hurt your wife's feelings but she's an adult and if people are being mean about her behind her back and you're aware of it, you should let her know what's happening while also telling off or even going low contact with those people who are being rude. You can't play it both ways. Your parents need to know their comments are mean and hurtful and they need to face consequences of their actions, if they don't, they won't ever stop. Put an end to this and be more honest with your wife.

EDIT for typos and also to add-- what's going to happen when your kids get older, are they going to join in with their grandparents in making fun of their mom? This is a messed up situation. Tell your wife. ######


Prompt:
My fiance and I have been together for 3 years, and yesterday he made dinner, and set up candles, and designed a whole romantic evening for us, and then asked me to marry him. I of course said yes. He got me a tiffany's ring, and its absolutely gorgeous. The stone is huge. It was big enough that I had to ask how much it cost, because I sent him a couple rings that I liked the style of so that he didn't go off into la la land buying a ring I wouldn't like. All of the rings I sent him had modest sized stones.

He told me it cost $20,000. I honestly didn't know what to say. That's just a ridiculous amount to spend on a ring. For him it does fall under the 2 month salary rule, but its just beyond stupid to spend that much on a ring. I'm obvious very happy that he wanted to get me something nice, but that's just irresponsible.

I told him that $20,000 was way too much to spend, and he should take it back and return it, and get something in a similar style that's 1/20 the price. He said he couldn't just return it, and that I should be happy that he was willing to spend that much. Don't get me wrong, I am, but again, its just beyond ridiculous. He's not a billionaire, there are much better things to spend money on. I gave him the ring back and told him to get his money back. Today he's seemed down all day and I suspect it was about the ring, and now I feel like an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I understand where your coming from and I would feel the same, but he spent time and money to try to make this special. If you really have a problem with it, you should’ve said something later. That was supposed to be a beautiful moment and now your questioning about how much he spent. Sometimes just enjoy the moment. ######


Prompt:
I have a canary mastiff, Tubs. He's a *big* guy, and I got him because he fits me. I want a dog that will be a guard dog, intimidating to protect against intruders. He's not a puppy and he's not a lap dog.

I don't baby talk him or treat him like a little child. I feed him home cooked meals with fresh meat every day, take him on walks and runs all the time, give him toys to play with for designated play times, but it's usually a practical toy. Not a teddy bear. Point is I take care of him and treat him like a respected adult, like I'm hanging out with another man.

But my roommate Anne thinks he's just a big teddy bear. She's always petting him and giving him kisses, baby talking him, getting him stuffed animals, etc. I've asked her to stop, I don't want Tubs becoming so friendly that he will be nullified as a guard dog. That if she wants to baby talk a dog, get her own, I want mine treated like he's competent.

Anne agreed but I still would catch her baby talking him. The other day I went to get some groceries, came back and saw she had him on her bed watching movies like they were having some sleepover. I called Tubs to me and told Anne to leave him alone, he's not her dog, and she needs to get her own.

She started crying, and for the last couple days she doesn't talk to me. He's my dog and I want him raised my way. Is this such a terrible request? ######

Response:
 YTA. I train protection dogs for a living. This is not how you train a dog to guard.

Working dogs need affection. Using baby talk, cuddles, and teddy bears as toys won’t hurt their training. It sounds like you don’t really know what you’re doing, and with a canary mastiff from, that can go horribly wrong. I highly recommend working with a very experienced trainer. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is an incoming junior in college. She is stuck between business/data science and medicine as a career path. She's taking an introductory data science course this summer along with a general biology class.

She told me that her biology quizzes are 15 minutes long with 10 questions, and you're not allowed to go back after selecting an answer. There are also penalties for guessing on some questions. Out of 20 points, the mean was 11 and the SD was 3. My daughter got a 14/20, but...I was hoping she got a 17 or 18 out of 20. 14/20 is a 70% and it feels like a C- to me regardless of what the mean and SD were.

When I asked what she got, I started off with 18/20? 17/20? 16/20? And she just glared at me angrily. I don't know why.

And honestly I am her mom and I feel like I know her the best...and deep down I just feel like she is not really smart enough for the medical path, or good enough at science to make it. Her science GPA is a 3.6, and she had to P/NP Organic Chemistry 2 last semester (would have received a B+).

I told her that she needed to be more focused when watching her biology lectures and that she needed to decide whether she was interested in medicine, and do a better job of showing her interest/stop complaining about how the quizzes are given/how hard they are.  I do not want her to never commit to anything and be on my husband and I's payroll forever.

I also told her that her aunt (my sister) suggested that she take biology at a community college first since my kid didn't take AP Biology in high school, and my daughter got mad at me and said that she scored an SD above the mean as evidence that she was smart enough to handle the content.

She hasn't really spoken to me after I said all that and so I am wondering if I am the asshole. I felt like I was just being brutally honest. I don't sugarcoat, ever. ######

Response: YTA. I think if you asked a few working medical professionals what their GPAs were in school you'd be surprised. Your daughter is in college to learn- she doesn't have to be perfect throughout. Quit micromanaging and lay off her. She might have an easier time deciding what she actually wants to do with her life if you were actually supportive and not criticizing every little assignment. ######


Prompt:
weird title, and this’ll sound fake, but it’s 100% true. my girlfriend (26F) and i (29M) have been dating for 5 years and have been living together for 1. shes vegan and health conscious and i am too. but here’s where the problem lies.

she really likes proportioned foods. things that are already packaged in small portions to prevent her from over-snacking. that’s normal, but she gets these small apple sauce pouches and these fruit purée pouches, small low calorie snacks that are literally made by Gerber and they’re intended for literal babies.

she likes them bc to her, they taste good, they’re low calorie, and again, they’re already portioned into small servings. but it’s literally childish. it’s for BABIES. there’s plenty of “adult” foods that are small portioned and low calorie. every time we have family or friends over they always comment on that food being in the fridge and some even question if we have a kid or not. it’s just annoying and unnecessary.

so i asked her to stop buying these snacks and get something more “grown up” and she simply said “no”. she even tried to show me on her phone that what she’s doing is common and that so many other adults eat these snacks but i wasn’t buying it so it broke into a whole fight, where i was calling her immature and saying she had to grow up (i know, that was rude) and she was saying that im being a dickhead for getting mad at her for something that she says is harmless.

am i the asshole for wanting her to grow up and eat food that’s actually not intended for infants?? ######

Response:
 YTA. I read this 6 times hoping to find a way to side with you cause I had a similar problem in my life where my wife eats the baby snacks. But my problem is we have a baby, and when the baby snacks are gone the baby will dip into my snacks which how dare you baby, how dare you.

It does not matter to you. At all. It does not affect you. At all. Frankly you benefit cause you get to have a happy, physically fit partner all for the low cost of minding your business/not worrying about unimportant things. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend (26m) and I (24f) have been pretty bored recently. We were on a zoom call when a friend of ours brought up the idea of the "freebie list" - aka the five people you can cheat on your SO with. Obviously, this isn't actually real and I don't think any couple takes it seriously.

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But we were both bored so we decided to have a laugh and create our own freebie lists while both acknowledging that this was just a fantasy and that neither of us would cheat on each other. My freebie list was pretty normal but when I saw his, I noticed a pattern.

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Four of his five were Asian or of Asian descent. I starting thinking about all of his previous girlfriends that I know of from his middle-school girlfriend to the one before me and realized I'm the first white woman he's ever dated (which his friends later confirmed for me). I kind of jokingly called him out on his yellow fever which he got really offended at and he said he's not some "creepy fetishist looking for a submissive Asian wife."

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This started a huge argument where he got really angry and refused to speak to me. This is where I may be a bit of the AH in that I didn't really take it seriously and made jokes about it which just made him angrier. Obviously, I'm not offended that he's had yellow fever in the past - he's dating me now and I'm secure enough to know he's not going to cheat on me.

Instead of my normally awesome boyfriend, he's turned into this sulking mess who refuses to talk to me.

So, AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I might have gone for ESH but does anybody else feel that her comment about him being Asian changes the context of this argument enormously to make her even more of an AH? ######


Prompt:
My son is engaged to his best friend since P6 (Grade 4-5) and his best friend is a male and my Sister (his aunt) is Homophobic and I know she wouldn't approve of the marriage, So I have kept the relationship secret to her until now and she said she wanted an invite to the wedding, I thought this was ridiculous as she has cut contact with me (but not my son or daughter) ever since i came out as Bisexual. But now she approves of this relationship, So I told my son not to invite her and he took a fit saying how *I* cut contact with her as I didn't like that she was against it when that was not the case. My son will no longer speak to me and said I am no longer invited to the wedding.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA. I mean, you say your sister is a homophobe, but loves your son and his fiance? You realize that these things are either explained by growth or you having a basic misunderstanding of who she was to begin with. Either way, he has a great relationship with his aunt and you don't ever get to dictate who he invites to his wedding. I think you need to apologize to him and ask humbly if he will let you back into his life.

And maybe revisit your relationship with your sister. Hopefully she can accept you for who you are now. It sounds like her heart is bigger than you thought it was. Life is short. ######


Prompt:
A lil backstory: I'm 34M, and have never come close to having a SO. And I don't mean I'm one of those people things never got serious with, I mean I've never even had a woman express the tiniest interest or go along if I did. It goes without saying that I'm a virgin, but I've never even had a kiss or held hands with a woman.

Before anyone asks, no, I don't think I'm entitled to those things, or that there's something wrong with women for not being interested in me. I'm not some incel dipshit. I'm just an overweight guy with bad social skills.

And yes I've tried therapy. The therapist told me to lose weight and "get out more". Fat lot of good that advice did me.

Anyways, at my age I'm pretty much the only single guy left in my social circle, and as a result pretty much every gathering involves a large amount of everyone else getting affectionate with their partners.

It's not that I resent them being happy or that I dislike their partners. It's just that it hurts seeing everyone around you holding hands, kissing, sweet-talking, leaning on each other, and stuff all the time, when the closest I've ever come to that (and at this rate probably ever will) was being paired with a girl classmate in school for projects (which, I might add, they quite visibly disliked).

Last Friday we were out at a local pub, and sure enough it was three pairs of people and me. We weren't at our table for long before one of them had their girlfriend leaning into their lap, and another one of my friends was playing with his partner's hair.

I held it together for as long as I could, but when one of them started making innuendo about their (R rated) plans that evening, I kind of lost it. I didn't raise my voice or insult them or anything, but I told them I was sick of them "rubbing each other in my face". From then on dinner was awkward but not hostile.

They acted like I was the worst person ever and haven't really been very nice to me since. Was I the asshole? ######

Response: YTA. i mean i totally empathize with you and it really sounds sucky what you're going through but people will be in relationships. i don't think you're really an asshole though but in this instance..... people will be affectionate. they're not going to stop hugging and kissing and stuff because it makes you uncomfortable. have you tried the suggestions that your therapist have given you. ######


Prompt:
My son and DIL got married this year and they are expecting a little boy in November around Thanksgiving. She has three kids from a previous marriage a set of twins 5, and a 2 1/2 year old. My son has always wanted to have a farm and this April they bought a bunch of animals that they have been taking care of.

Well my son has worked full time at a job and he also has his own business that he works at on his days off. Very hardworking man. His wife used to work at a university but has been laid off since March. Her only income has been child support that she uses to be her kids things and groceries and occasionally the animal feed. She pays for no other bills, my son does. She also is a rather plain Jane as she doesn’t even wear makeup or wear nice clothes just a t shirt and maternity jeans.

Well she was supposed to go back to work next month so I was having dinner with them at their home and asked about childcare for the kids. She then informs me that since they have been fine while she has been off work that she won’t be going back and will be homeschooling the 5 year olds and that the baby was due in November and that my son wants her to stay home and care for the baby instead of a stranger.

My son is sweet man but he is easily manipulated and I feel that’s what she is doing. When my son left the room I told her that she needed to go back to work and pull her own and her kids weight and that my son shouldn’t have to support her and her kids as they weren’t his and for her to stop using him for her own personal gain. She began to cry and went upstairs. My son came down and asked me what I said and he told me that they both talked about this and made a decision and I was out of line. He asked me to leave. His own mother. My husband told me that I need to go over there and apologize but I stand by what I said. AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I love that you say he's easily manipulate and in the next breath immediately try to manipulate the situation. *chef kiss* Perfection. ######


Prompt:
I have been dealing with the fallout of this since Sunday.

Some backstory:

My mom is a huge animal fan and loves Deer. She has deer mugs, a deer phone case, socks etc. You name it she probably has a deer related item of it.

For Mother's day I got her one of those mounted trophy deer heads to put above the fireplace since she loves deer so much and had been talking about getting something to put above the fireplace since the wall up there is pretty bare.

Upon opening her present, she got really upset and stormed into her room, locked it and now refuses to talk to me. I think I heard her crying in there.

My dad told me she is really upset about it and didn't want to see a dead deer let alone one in her house. He wants me to apologize but I don't really think I did anything wrong. How was I supposed to know she would react like that?

AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I love cats but I sure as fuck don't want a taxidermied cat above my fireplace. You could have gotten her a pair of antlers since those can fall off naturally or a resin cast of a pair. But if she has soooooo much deer merch and loves animals and deer why the hell would you think it was a good idea to get her a mount? ######


Prompt:
So I play a lot of video games, and like most gamers, my online friends are all in different time zones. Usually we all get on at around 12:00 am my time, and I stay up untill 4:00 am usually. It has been this way since quarantine.

We usually play games like Gmod TTT which can get heated at times and cause me to talk a bit loud. I play with my door closed and actively try to stay quite, especially late at night, but sometimes a death squeal or two is forced out of me.

Some of my mom's friends had an unfortunate event happen to them two days ago and as a result, have moved in with us (a family of three in a already crowed house). My mom said it's possible they stay with us for up to 6 months, and the last time she said that (about a different family), they ended up staying for 3 years...

I'm also introverted, so the introduction of more people has definitely made my life more uncomfortable, but I haven't complained or said anything about the situation, because I know their in a tight spot.

So today I'm going about my night as usual, playing TTT with my friends at 2 am when my mom walks in and starts telling me off for still being up. She said she's going to talk to me in the morning because I'm keeping our guest up.

Am I wrong in thinking that I shouldn't change the way I live because we graciously invited a family to live with us? It would be a nother story if it was temporary, but I'm not going to quite playing with my friends for 6 months+!

I think they should adapt to the way we live, not the other way around. Especially since their moving in at a unfortunate time (lots of construction is going on in our house which has already causes a lot of chaos and clutter).

Besides, it's not like I can just fix my sleep schedule, at this point it's too far gone. I would need something like school to force me into waking up early again. ######

Response:
 YTA. I live with someone who does this and its downright intolerable. At 2-4am, most people are sleeping. And furthermore, it's still your mother's house and her guest,  who might be disturbed by you but is doesn't want to inconvenience their hosts.

I've seen some of your comments where you say you try but in your post you add "death squeals". In addition, you could be unaware of whether your own level of volume is loud or not given that I play games myself and can get really engrossed in it.

You could play at a lower volume, so that the shock of jumpscares isn't as strong. You could also quickly cover your mouth for example, to dampen your screams or yells. These are some of things I've done for myself, and may not work for you exactly. But the point is, try and work on it. If you have roommates in the future, I'd doubt they'd tolerate it. ######


Prompt:
My roommate and I have been living together for a little over six months. She is a huge inspiration to me. She is gorgeous, I shape, intellectual, etc.

She’s put me on to her lifestyle. With her help I have lost just over 40 pounds since she moved in, i feel better than I have in my whole life, since I’ve been underweight since I was a child. She also introduced me to a lot of different food, movies, music, and other things. She has really helped me come out of my shell and I’m eternally grateful to her.

My roommate came back from a run the other morning, and she looked like she was glowing! I snapped a quick picture of her laughing at something silly that her dog was doing. I posted it to Instagram, and typed out a long caption about how awesome she is and how thankful I am for her help.

Everyone in the comments for the picture was calling her beautiful and congratulating me on my progress. My roommate care to me a couple of hours later and told me to take the picture down because she looked a mess. She told me she didn’t appreciate me posting it. That really hurt my feelings because I was singing her praises and trying to show my gratitude to her.

I told her that she looked amazing in the picture, and that she shouldn’t worry about it. Everyone was saying how beautiful she was. She told me she didn’t care, and wanted the picture taken down. I told her no, she should stop being vain. She tried to get my phone from me and delete it herself, and that’s when we got into an argument. She is trying to report me to Instagram, and publicly calling me a stalker for not taking the picture down.

This is out of character for her, so I’m wondering if I’m really an asshole for trying to show my appreciation to someone. ######

Response: YTA. I know your intentions are good, but if she doesn’t want a picture of her posted, that’s her prerogative, and you have no right to tell her she’s wrong or dismiss her thoughts/feelings/wants. ######


Prompt:
I’m on mobile so I don’t know how to add the spoiler tag, so there’s ish spoilers ahead.

My sister (20F) and I (16F) live together. My sister is a big fan of this famous Spanish show on Netflix. She’s obsessed with it and she binged practically the entire thing in a week. Her absolute favourite character that she was always talking about, died in the last season.

After watching it she ran upstairs to her room and cried for a straight two hours. It’s been two days and she hasn’t left her room and eats all her food inside her room too. It’s getting kind of irritating because whenever she comes downstairs she won’t stop talking about the character who died. Maybe she connected with her especially or related to her, I don’t know but I really feel like she should get over it and this isn’t healthy anyway, grieving a fictitious character that much.

My sister had an abortion two years ago, I don’t know if that’s related to the character at all but she had a son I think. That’s the excuse she’s giving but seriously, she’s mourning like the character is real.

Finally today after she wouldn’t come downstairs for breakfast and sat in her room with the curtains closed, I stomped upstairs and told her to get the fuck over it, she’s not a real character and it’s just a TV show. She started crying and told me to get out.

Honestly I don’t really think I’m the asshole but AITA? ######

Response: YTA. I know the show you're talking about. There was a big plot point where the character lost her child and had a huge trauma due to that but decided she wants yo move on and get pregnant again after the thing they do. They made her really excited about being a mother again and settling down and becoming happy. Then they killed her off. So obviously this is projecting on your sister's part and this plot point could have been extremely triggering to her. Go apologize, kid. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (56) and I (51) have been together for about a year. I am divorced and she is a widow. Her husband passed away about three years ago.

She has a wall in her house where she measured her kids height growing up. Her kids are adults now in their 20’s, but they have their heights from when they were really little kids to fully grown. Her former husband is marked on the wall too.

We rented most of our lives so we never really had a wall like this. One day when my kids were over for dinner we decided to measure them on the wall. My girlfriend didn’t seem to mind and was acting like it was cute.

Her kids came over to visit at one point and saw the wall and they were seriously upset about it. They said it was a personal thing for their childhoods that was important to them and we were invading on that.  It is just a wall and we didn’t erase theirs, just added ours.

The thing is, they always act like we are in the way of their lives. When we went on vacation with them, they acted like it was their vacation and we were just guests. No matter what we do they’re always angry about something. I think they are just being too sensitive and looking for something to be mad about. ######

Response: YTA. I initially thought you were at least married and a “one big family,” and maybe I can see that, but you’re merely dating and you were just GUESTS IN HER HOME and you thought that was appropriate?!?!  Who goes into basically a friend’s house and starts writing on the walls? While you’re at it, go paste your head onto their dad’s body in family photos and see if she has his wedding ring laying around since no ones using it. ######


Prompt: AITA: so I have a teacher coworker who runs in my circles. We get along on the surface but she is extremely gossipy and starts a lot of problems that I have to deal with. Lately, she has been posting photos of herself dressed up... racy. Nothing nudity wise, but tops that are mostly see through, crop tops, super short shorts, etc. Also, her profile is not private and she has students following her on IG. Now, I know it’s petty and vindictive but also, if you have students and students parents as friends, they can all see that. Aren’t we (as teachers) supposed to be setting a better example? I submitted the photos to HR for them to decide. But now I feel like the Ahole... she’s a tennis coach as well and she peppers her racy photos through there posts about her team and the school. Anyways, I don’t feel like teachers should represent themselves like that, but I could also just be the Ahole who would have a better day without her around. ######

Response:
 YTA. I hate the argument about teachers being “held to a higher standard” when we barely pay them livable wages. Teachers don’t get paid enough to have to deal with these extra layers of scrutiny! They need to be good at their jobs and professional with parents and colleagues. That’s it.

You were wrong and need to route this energy toward addressing her actual behavior at work. ######