Prompt:
Hello!

My mother and I are having an argument right now over my stimulus check. For background information: I’m 24 years old. I graduated from university in Fall 2018 while I was in college my mother claimed me as a dependent. I don’t dispute that I was. I lived at home rent free while commuting to school in one of her cars. It makes sense that she’d claim me.

Once I graduated I got a job and moved out in April. She wouldn’t claim me for 2019 since I wasn’t dependent on her. Fair.

My mother files my taxes for me since I first got a job in high school and this year was no different. I have no idea how to file and since she’s an accountant she does it for me. She initially had no problem filing for me this year.

Due to coronavirus, the IRS pushed the tax deadline back until July so my mother wasn’t in a rush to file. However, due to the stimulus payout needing either a 2019 return or a 2018 return we decided to file my taxes for 2019 so I’d be eligible for a check. I got my state and federal refund quickly but never received a stimulus check. I dig around to see why I didn’t receive one and the only thing I could come up with is the fact that I was claimed as a dependent on my mother’s tax return in 2018. Since she hasn’t filed for 2019 I think I’m still listed as her dependent despite me filing as unable to be claimed this year.

I’ve mentioned this to my mother twice and asked her if she could file her taxes so I could get a stimulus check too (she already received one). She blew up on me the second time and called me ungrateful for asking since she already filed my tax return for me, and said “nothing is ever good enough for you,” before hanging up.

Perhaps I am in the wrong here, but it’s the difference between me getting $1,200 I need now versus getting it in months time/next year. AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH. Get turbo tax and do your own taxes so you don't have to worry about this. SO EASY.

Your mom should tell you if she claimed you, and let you know if she received a stimulus check for you as well as herself based upon dependent filing. They started processing the checks a month ago, if you were not listed as a dependent you would have received a check based on 2018. If she did claim you as dependent then she would have received money on your behalf. ######


Prompt:
My brother is 25 and I am 28. We are very, very tight. He's been seeing this girl for a few years and eventually wants to marry her. Because my brother and I are tight, we hang out a lot and I do not get along with his girlfriend. One of the reasons why my bro and I are so tight is because we were raised in the foster system until I was 10 when we were adopted by our uncle. My brother has done a lot of remarkable things with his life and you wouldn't think this was someone who had a bad start in life. I still struggle with some of things that I went through and went through so my brother didn't have to go though it.

 His girlfriend had a very much "daddy's little princess" sheltered upbringing. My brother's girlfriend sort of viewed me as "trash" and largely ignored me. I didn't care. Soon this turned to hostility with criticism for every little thing that I do from getting drunk on the weekends to eating a box of Zingers in one sitting. I found out that my brother explained to her about our upbringing and she felt "uncomfortable" with me because I must somehow be "damaged" and therefore a "ticking timebomb." Never mind the fact that she is a bulimic pothead.

This all came to a head last weekend when I showed up for a BBQ at their house and we were all talking. I made a quip about only feeling "half welcomed" and his girlfriend knew that was a dig at her. She asked me what I meant by that comment and I said "honestly, I just don't like you." Everyone including her friends laughed and she went into the house crying. Now there is this tug of war between her and my brother. My brother is asking me to just apologize whether I mean it or not, but I won't. ######

Response:
 ESH. For clarity you have every reason to not like this girl and clearly she's not great given she's judging you for things that were out of your control in your childhood.

However you were wrong to go into her home (assuming she lives with your brother), make a dig at her and then react by saying you don't like her. That makes you TA in that moment, even if it felt deserved. If you wanted to talk to her you should have done it privately.

Both of you are putting your brother in such a difficult place and you should think of how this is for him. He's probably torn between two people he loves. Don't make him pick, his response might surprise you and if it dosent he'll likely resent you for a long time. ######


Prompt:
Can't believe I need to post this for validation, so here goes.

Summer is coming and the weather is getting hot, so I figure I'd cut my 2 year olds hair, it was so long that it almost reached her elbow. Have to admit, I did a pretty bad job so in the end I shaved her bald. Everything was fine, she was okay with it and the day goes on as normal.

When my husband came back he got very upset when he saw what I did to our daughter. He wanted her to look great for her birthday this August and apparently  short hair(by the time) wasn't part of "looking great". He accused me of going behind his back and felt betrayed.

I argued that our daughter Is. Just. Turning. 2. She doesn't care and she is better off feeling cool for the summer. I didn't think I'd ask his permission to cut her hair because this is such a trivial thing.

A while later I heard my daugher crying because my husband told her that she looks funny with her head bald. She was all cool with the setup until being told by daddy that mummy denied her right for being pretty. My turn to blow up this time and we got into a huge argument after she sleeps.

So, title. AITA? ######

Response: ESH. First of all, if you suck so badly at cutting hair that your attempt ends in a need to shave someone’s head, you shouldn’t be cutting hair. Secondly, your husbands comments to your daughter are bullshit and emotionally abusive. Finally, don’t forget to put sunscreen on that poor child’s head. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my husband for 21 years. I grew up with hamsters, ferrets, cats, dogs. He doesn’t like cats and has allergies, so I’ve given him that. I came into the relationship with a small breed dog and we got a large breed dog.. all learning experiences for him, but he loves our dogs. His only allergies that present are to cats.

Recently, our 16-year-old daughter wanted a hamster. She actually made a PowerPoint presentation about why she should have one. She already owns a crested gecko that she has taken amazing care of. She is also a straight A student and genuinely good kid. She also worked and saved money.

After her presentation my husband said no, and then I called him into another room to tell him I think if she is paying for it and caring for it and doing so great with her schoolwork, why not?

So I got her a hamster. He’s not happy with me, because he hates “rodents”.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH. Except your daughter, she sounds awesome.

You and your husband needed to discuss this issue and come to an agreement. Both of you just went your own ways on what should have been a joint decision. ######


Prompt:
This is a unique situation I've found myself in and I dont exactly know what to do.

I (34f) have been with my partner (39m) for 15 years. He is the stepfather to my daughter, "Jane"(17f).

Now, over the past, oh I'd say, 2 years she has started to shame me and my partner for having sex.
Now we aren't having loud, rock the bed sex anymore. Which is unfortunate, but out of respect, we keep it as quiet as we can. Which means I don't bring out toys anymore, we don't moan, even keep breathing pretty quiet. Try to make the bed silent and all. It's gotten to a point where I just am scared to have sex and will go months without getting any which is shit when you're hyper sexual with a partner who also wants it. I give plenty of blow jobs to try and compensate.

As shitty as it sounds, I've grown a complex due to it. She'll send passive aggressive texts, (which I don't read until morning) or just downright rude ones. We had the quietest sex we could last night and she threw a temper tantrum about it. Throwing things at her door and everything. I woke up to "Once a fucking-gain with no respect for me. Unbelievable man. You want respect give me some. Don't care if you're an adult. Don't care if it's your house."

I've had conversations with Jane about it before. Told her it's a natural part of life, and we have kept it quiet. And she didn't grow up in a prudish household or anything. It's a pretty open household for talks about any subject.
I've told her she doesn't get to dictate my sex life, and I'm tired of her bitching about it.

Now, WIBTA if I told her this is the last straw. She can either get headphones, or watch tv or just let it happen like any other person would do or she can start looking for a new place to live? ######

Response:
 ESH. Everybody in your house needs to dial it back.

Objectively, you have to know that as a parent it is ludicrous to even consider kicking a child out of the house. For ANY reason, so long as they aren’t a legal adult yet. C’mon. Telling her she can find a new place is effectively the same.

Your daughter is a piece of work. She’s not an adult, but she’s old enough to be able to find a way to distract herself if she’s hearing anything. She can take a walk. She can put on headphones. I really can’t get a handle on her and I don’t want to speculate too much... but her vitriol is really alarming! Like, get a therapist involved alarming.

I guess my question would be... while you might be sure you’re having quiet sex, you aren’t actually in other parts of the house so you don’t know what your sex sounds like? Maybe it really is too loud throughout the house still. If it were me, I would invite a very trusted friend over to “eavesdrop” and tell it to me straight, if my daughter is overreacting to the noise or not. ######


Prompt:
We have a discord server with about 20 people. It's a collection of people we found from games or friends of friends. In the general chat we usually just chill and have light hearted conversations with each other. It's just a place to relax and talk.

Anyways along with the story, I'm 17(M) and there's this person named C(17f) I've never really got along with her due to her personality being rather gloomy and she kind of tries to make her depression (her claims) as a personality. The general male to female ratio is about 3:1. Whenever we are having any form of conversation she deters whatever we were talking about to change it to herself. For instance, I may say "Ark is becoming really fun to play". To which she replies "Well at least you're happy I've been depressed all week". Right after we'd spend the next 5minutes of people consoling her. This has happened so many times to count about 8 times a day roughly.

Well yesterday, like usual we would be making conversation and with another female let's call H we're talking about invading enemy team and planning how we're going to attack and what we're taking. C then starts saying "This is why all men suck always trying to take from people". I reply stating how it's a game and it's just what you do and the conversation ended. Later on I say Happy Father's day in the announcement and guess what she says "Must be nice to have a father mine beats me" Occurence 2. Now on the final straw, we  were talking about our days, wondering what we should play next and she states "I've been crying all day and vomiting from it". I got really annoyed and stated "Okay C please stop making every conversation so negative, you're literally being an attention whore". Then literally everyone called me insensitive and a pos.

And now I feel like an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: ESH. C sucks because yeah, she always makes it about her in an extremely negative way, but you suck for the way you handled it. You could've got your point across without stooping to insults. When has insulting someone ever resulted in a light bulb going off for them saying, "Yeah, maybe I should change my ways." A calm conversation with C letting her know how she derails every conversation into an irrelevant problem she's having would probably yield sweeter juice. ######


Prompt:
I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant. As I’m sure many of you are aware, wearing clothes can feel very restrictive when it’s already hard for you to move. Since we’re on lockdown and I’m not going to work, I decided it would be nice to just not wear anything while here at home. I already do this anyway after work, but now I’m doing it during the day. I also thought my husband would enjoy it.

It turns out however that he instead has gotten really annoyed with me for it. Constantly telling me it makes me look like a slut, and that our neighbors could see me and it makes him uncomfortable. I asked him how it was different from when I normally do it and he said it was only ok because I did it at night during the dark and when we get naked for sex anyway.

I said he was being ridiculous and have been ignoring his complaints for the past week, but today he turned all the lights in the house off and won’t open our curtains or windows. Apparently he got a call from our neighbor saying she saw me in the window and he got really pissed off. I don’t really see the issue but he just won’t let it go now.

AITA for being naked at home? ######

Response:
 ESH. As a fellow pregnant lady I was 100% on your side until you argued about him wanting to close the curtains and blinds while you're naked.

Of course he wants to close the curtains and blinds while you're naked! It's your prerogative to be naked at home, but if you're putting yourself on display for the neighbours then that's just plain rude. He should not have called you a slut, and he should not be upset about your nudity within the **privacy** of your own home, but I can understand his frustration with you not closing blinds etc. FWIW, next time you upgrade your window treatments, maybe consider those two-way blinds that can roll both up & down. That way you can keep the blinds shut from boob height and below while still enjoying the sun. ######


Prompt:
So I have a coworker (25/30F) called “Amy”. She’s single with no kids.

My boss (30/35M) called “Jake” is married to my COUSIN and has two kids.

Amy is in love with jake the way a lion is in love with a zebra. She’s always always trying to start anything with him or anyone else for his attention. I’ve done so good at ignoring it or just letting it slide. Amy and I have the same position so at first I thought maybe she just liked him but at some times I will feel like she does it to try and get a raise or promotion. She already has gotten one but from mine and other coworker perspectives not by doing a good job.

The other day on our zoom call (usually we are in an office) Jake was talking to us and one of his kids was yelling in the background. Amy slyly says “cant your wife take care of that? She must not be doing her job very well”. No one laughed. Jake went to go help the child and came back and she goes “dang you’re such a good daddy. “Kelly” (jakes wife) is a lucky girl”.

And those things we all are kinda like ehhh you should stop. Jake either laughs or goes along with it.

But then later when a few people dropped the call and there was about 3 of us on she told Jake “whenever this is over I can’t wait to see you in the office. We are going to need to get coffee to go over some things”

I snapped guys.

I told her in front of everyone she needed to respect his marriage and stop trying to be a home wrecker. I also told her she’s not as pretty as his wife anyways.

She dropped the call and no one has heard from her since. Yes I’m in trouble at work lol ######

Response: ESH. Amy’s behavior is extremely unprofessional and, IMO, unethical. As manager, Jake should have put a stop to Amy’s comments long before they got to this point. Your public chastising of your coworker was out of line, regardless of your boss’s marital status or relation to you. ######


Prompt:
So I have a coworker (25/30F) called “Amy”. She’s single with no kids.

My boss (30/35M) called “Jake” is married to my COUSIN and has two kids.

Amy is in love with jake the way a lion is in love with a zebra. She’s always always trying to start anything with him or anyone else for his attention. I’ve done so good at ignoring it or just letting it slide. Amy and I have the same position so at first I thought maybe she just liked him but at some times I will feel like she does it to try and get a raise or promotion. She already has gotten one but from mine and other coworker perspectives not by doing a good job.

The other day on our zoom call (usually we are in an office) Jake was talking to us and one of his kids was yelling in the background. Amy slyly says “cant your wife take care of that? She must not be doing her job very well”. No one laughed. Jake went to go help the child and came back and she goes “dang you’re such a good daddy. “Kelly” (jakes wife) is a lucky girl”.

And those things we all are kinda like ehhh you should stop. Jake either laughs or goes along with it.

But then later when a few people dropped the call and there was about 3 of us on she told Jake “whenever this is over I can’t wait to see you in the office. We are going to need to get coffee to go over some things”

I snapped guys.

I told her in front of everyone she needed to respect his marriage and stop trying to be a home wrecker. I also told her she’s not as pretty as his wife anyways.

She dropped the call and no one has heard from her since. Yes I’m in trouble at work lol ######

Response: ESH. Amy for acting this way at work. Jake for allowing it. You for the way you handled it. I understand you are looking out for your cousin, but you could have just told your cousin, or warned Jake that you are going to tell your cousin. Lashing out at her on a work call makes you look bad (not as bad as them imo) ######


Prompt:
On mobile, please excuse spelling mistakes.

I finished working last night and drove to her place which I normally do in weekends, instead of going inside right away I decided to clean my car, she messaged me where I was to which I responded with I was here but cleaning. She called about 15 mins later asking what was taking so long to which I replied in a snappy tone about there being alot to clean.

She has a dog which sits in the backseat. It gets carsick but she normally cleans it up, which we had agreed upon when she got it. Well the dog had gotten sick about a week and half ago and she said she was going to clean it up. It stinks, it's gross having puke in the back of my car and I got tired of waiting so I'm doing it myself. She's grumpy with me because I'm cleaning my car and not cuddling, and I'm grumpy because I'm now cleaning out her dogs puke that's started to mold in my backseat.

Potentially relevant info
I smoke in the car, we eat food and drink in the car as well (not booze) she doesnt smoke. We live separately, the dog is fully hers, car is fully mine. ######

Response:
 ESH.

YTA (slightly)Why not just address the dog puke immediately, rather than letting it sit there for a week and a half then passively-aggressively deal with it? Your girlfriend said she was going to clean it up so it would have made sense to follow up with her about this the next day at the very latest, or (preferably) just ask her to clean it up immediately.

Your girlfriend is TA for not cleaning up after her dog and disrespecting your property. ######


Prompt:
So I have a somewhat good job, my sister doesn’t because of corona virus and she tends to old people so she could catch it. She is calling my dad for money, my dad says no because he told her not to get pregnant and that’s what she did. Then she calls me at work, (boss is chill and let’s me take the call) here’s what I remember from the call

M: Hello?
S: Hey can I barrow some money?
M: How much?
S: 300? I know you can spare some.
M: That’s my entire paycheck. I can’t do it sorry
S: So your gonna let your nephew starve and not get clean pampers?
M: That’s not my job to take care of your kid dude, And I know he has clean clothes because you showed me all the shit you got for your baby shower.
S: Ughh I hate you guys it hard being a first time mother!
M: It’s not my Fuckin problem dude. You opened your damn legs for a loser, you chose a baby over college, You could’ve gotten a abortion or been on birth control when you wanted to have sex. But you didn’t! Don’t blame your fuckin problems on me! I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING KID

I hung up and cooled off, My mom blew up my phone, saying how I should apologize and don’t talk that way to your sister and more bullshit.

My dad picked me up and my sister lied straight to his face, but he knows I didn’t and just said to me “ Show a little bit of restraint next time”

So AITA ######

Response:
 ESH.

Your sister was a bit of an asshole for trying to guilt trip you after you said you couldn't afford to lend her money, but

I think you were the worst in this situation, what you said is wholly unacceptable to say to ANYBODY. That's not okay, you should listen to your mom and call your sister and apologise, I'm glad I don't have you for a brother. ######


Prompt:
So this happened before quarantine but my boyfriend still gives me shit and calls me an asshole for it so I need other people’s opinions on this situation.
My boyfriend (20M) and I (19F) go to different universities so we don’t usually see each other because we are a about 2 hours apart. When he visited my apartment on the weekend, we were in my room telling each other about random people we interact with during school and he told me about this girl (let’s call her Debby) who is his classmate in one of his classes. Debby constantly asks him to get food or drinks together and study after they partnered up for a big project, even though he always dodges the question. He told me he never told her that he has a girlfriend but in my head I was just thinking like if the memo is no then NO?? When my boyfriend left to go take a shower, I searched up debby’s Instagram and shot her a dm along the lines of “hey this is __’s girlfriend and he’s been telling me how you always pester him to go out even after you guys finished your project so I mean this as nicely as possible but can you please back off?”  My boyfriend found out about this and he’s been mad at me for dming her randomly because they happened to have mutual friends that they hang out with and things are awkward now. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH.

Honestly the fact your bf hasn’t told her that he has a gf is a bit odd on his part.
However you need to let him handle it and not butt in. It’s really weird to find a girl you’ve never spoken to to tell her off for something she didn’t know she was doing wrong. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé (25F) and I (23M) are getting married in a few months from now. My fiancé has a couple friends that consistently encourage her (and now me) to make some questionable decisions. I love almost all of her friends, but these two always seem to be stirring up trouble.

At some point a couple weeks ago, her friends, Emily and Fallon, asked my fiancé to have sex with me in front of them. I think it seemed like a joke to my fiancé until this past weekend. The four of us were hanging out and we got pretty tipsy since it was a holiday and the two friends started asking again. I was initially uncomfortable with the idea but my fiancé seemed to quickly bend to the pressure. We used a blanket at first but Fallon took it off and they watched us have sex for awhile. We lost some of our inhibition and ended up showing them some of our positions including some of the more revealing ones like the Amazon.

Honestly, I had a good time and the next day, I suggested we try it again that night. My fiancé looked shocked that I even brought it up and stormed out.

Now my fiancé is upset and is considering calling off the wedding because I went along with it. AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH.

But I do need more info. Was it not apparent that your fiance was uncomfortable?

Honestly this sounds like the kind of reckless behavour that does end engagements. I don't know why you would risk it.

You don't do this kind of thing while drunk and under peer pressure. **It's a massive consent issue.** Let alone what damage it could do to your relationship.

What a mess. ######


Prompt:
Additional info, her dad came around the car, asked what my problem was and I told him your daughter threw her glove on the ground and he said "What do you want me to do about it?". I was a little dumbfounded because I'd think the answer is pretty simple and just said "tell her to throw it away". He then started screaming about how "You're a real fucking tough guy, everybody's a fucking tough guy. What do you want me to fucking do about it?" (I repeated my answer everytime he did this while continuing to walk to my car). I didn't raise my voice and said nothing else just answered him everytime he screamed until I put my groceries away and drove away.

I'll admit I'm 100% guilty of the occasional drop the gum wrapper on the ground and hope no one sees it. I'm not proud of that, but I wouldn't call someone out on it. But just throwing gloves on the ground that you presumably are wearing to protect yourself from Covid just really rubbed me the wrong way, because those gloves are gonna have to get picked up by someone else at some point, and it'll probably be some poor grocery store worker.

Edit: changed "I'm to You're" as that's what he said (as in I'm the fucking tough guy not him) ######

Response: ESH.  Your not the asshole for telling them not to litter.  You are the asshole and a hypocrite for littering with smaller items.  All litterers are assholes. ######


Prompt:
The Starbucks in my town has recently reopened for take out business only. These people have been put of a job for about a month now, so I don't exactly expect them to be stellar at their jobs at the moment. My gf and I had to get her car from the shop, so we decided to get Starbucks for ourselves and the family while we were out, she placed the order online and I went to pick it up. When I get to the SB, I notice that two of our drinks were made cold instead of hot (these were my gf's and mine drinks), no big deal, I know that mistakes happen and I don't want to add to their workload by having them remake the drinks. My gf and I tend to call each other on long car rides, so on the way home I give her a call and mention that two of the drinks were cold instead of hot. She gets mad and says "wow what a bunch of assholes!" To which I responded (pointedly) with "they're not assholes. They made a mistake". This caused a whole argument where she told me that she can't "express herself" because I react badly to it. I told her that I'm not going to let her degrade service workers who are doing their best during a pandemic (her response to this was "I didn't say it to their face"). After a lot of arguing, I ended up calling her "an entitled white person who has to always get their way" I know that's not a nice thing to say, but at that point I was so frustrated that someone would pop off about an honest mistake. They're risking COVID-19 just so we can get our coffee, I'm don't care if they mess up the drinks a tiny bit. She's furious with me for calling her out on the thing she said in private, and I'm furious with her for talking badly about people who are doing their best. So reddit, AITA?

TLDR; I got mad when my girlfriend called Starbucks employees assholes for getting our order wrong so I called her an entitled white person who has to always get their way. ######

Response:
 ESH.  You probably should have asked her if she was okay with an iced drink.  I personally hate iced coffee.   Mistakes are fine but you are entitled to ask for what you order and paid for.

The “asshole” comment was extreme, but it was just between you two.  It could have been just hyperbole for effect.   Your title is misleading, she wasn’t rude to any employees.   She maybe thought they wouldn’t remake the drinks so since you accepted the wrong ones.   I don’t think it was really helpful for you to police this one-time, private interaction so strongly.

Also, WTF does this have to do with her being white?  I worked in the service industry forever and people of all colors complain when their order is wrong. ######


Prompt:
My stepmom has always been a very insecure person. Same with my dad. He married way out of his league but his own insecurity drove my mom away.

My mom is now married to a really nice guy she met at work. My mom is very well-respected professor and really beautiful. I mean she is my mom so I'm biased but she gets a lot of compliments. We do yoga and work out together. So she does work hard at keeping up her fitness.

While I was at my dad's, I overheard my stepmom making fun of mom for apparently getting all dressed up trying to win back my dad. And she also said a few unkind words about my mom. My dad was kind of laughing.

Granted, it was their private conversation but I heard it and got mad.

I walked into the kitchen and said it's not my mom's fault my stepmom was ugly as fuck and that she was working a shitty job.

And that there was no way my mom would try to get back with my dad. And I may or may not have called them a gremlin looking couple, which I agree was harsh.

My stepmom ended up crying and locking herself in her room. My dad was mad too but he just begged me not to tell my mom what I'd heard.

I haven't told my mom yet but I have been ignoring my stepmom and she's been hiding in her room a lot.

AITA? ######

Response: ESH.  You can call your stepmom out on being unnecessarily nasty without being unnecessarily nasty back. ######


Prompt:
So to keep it short and sweet, we have been dating for 5 years and after the first year our sex life started to dwindle when I became pregnant. Since then we have sex maybe once every 3 months. I'm always up for it but have stopped initiating it because of the constant rejection (too tired, not in the mood, don't want to wake the baby...)

I have always known that he looks at porn and the only time it bothered me was when I found out he was going on those sites where you chat and tip girls. He has since stopped (I believe) and gone back to looking at regular porn photos/videos.

I'm getting more and more frustrated because I have on multiple occasions woken up to him looking at porn while I'm sleeping next to him. And now I have just discovered a treasure trove of saved porn. It's a crazy amount. And since it says when it's saved I can see that he is constantly downloading while at work. In my mind he is risking getting fired just for porn. So I want to just delete it while he's working and discuss it when he gets home since he obviously has an addiction to it. To me it's like if I poured all an alcoholics hidden vodka down the sink. But I'm also worried about potential blowback and if I'm the asshole for doing so. ######

Response: ESH.  Sounds like this relationship needs some *serious* couples therapy ######


Prompt:
Just want to say first that it wasn't supposed to be an insult.

So we've been staying with my father in law and my sister in law. My SIL is a bit on the overweight side and since she's a stand up comedian, she often uses that in her routine. She's very comfortable in her body and always has been according to my husband.

She tends to joke around and would say this like "Get a fat fuck some breakfast" when we're cooking and we always break into laughter. It's just her thing. The problem is that she's now trying to convince my daughter to eat through her cravings. Whether she's craving a bunch of chips and soda or whatever big meal she's feeling, my SIL is promoting it. Her 'logic' is that our body wants what it wants. I hear all the body acceptance and I'm glad my daughter is starting to care less about what others think about her weight but this is ridiculous and unhealthy.

So yesterday we were up late listening to my FIL's stories and my daughter said she felt like some waffles and ice-cream. My husband told her she can have in the morning but then my SIL jumped in and said he must let her have it since she's clearly hungry. My husband spoke some more and then she turned to mt daughter and told her not to listen to him because he's judgemental so i jumped in and said something around the lines of "That rubbish is unhealthy [SIL], do you want [daughter] to also be a *fat fuck*?".

Why I said it? Well I wanted to reprimand her from trying to overrule my husband and I but I didn't want to make things awkward so I thought I should add a joke at the end to keep things light. Her joke. I didn't expect her to take it as an insult but she did (everyone else laughed) and went to her room. Now she's been acting snappy with me and barely wants to be in the same room as me. My husband says it was asshole-ish but I didn't mean harm so it's fine. Aita? ######

Response: ESH.  SIL sucks for trying to undermine your parenting, and you suck for insulting her.  Remember how in Mean Girls "too gay to function" was only OK when Damian said it about himself?  Yeah, this is a similar situation.  Apologize, but also tell SIL to mind her own beeswax about what your daughter eats. ######


Prompt:
My brother is 25 and I am 28. We are very, very tight. He's been seeing this girl for a few years and eventually wants to marry her. Because my brother and I are tight, we hang out a lot and I do not get along with his girlfriend. One of the reasons why my bro and I are so tight is because we were raised in the foster system until I was 10 when we were adopted by our uncle. My brother has done a lot of remarkable things with his life and you wouldn't think this was someone who had a bad start in life. I still struggle with some of things that I went through and went through so my brother didn't have to go though it.

 His girlfriend had a very much "daddy's little princess" sheltered upbringing. My brother's girlfriend sort of viewed me as "trash" and largely ignored me. I didn't care. Soon this turned to hostility with criticism for every little thing that I do from getting drunk on the weekends to eating a box of Zingers in one sitting. I found out that my brother explained to her about our upbringing and she felt "uncomfortable" with me because I must somehow be "damaged" and therefore a "ticking timebomb." Never mind the fact that she is a bulimic pothead.

This all came to a head last weekend when I showed up for a BBQ at their house and we were all talking. I made a quip about only feeling "half welcomed" and his girlfriend knew that was a dig at her. She asked me what I meant by that comment and I said "honestly, I just don't like you." Everyone including her friends laughed and she went into the house crying. Now there is this tug of war between her and my brother. My brother is asking me to just apologize whether I mean it or not, but I won't. ######

Response:
 ESH.  She is wrong for judging your upbringing which she can't possibly begin to understand.  You are wrong because you knew what you were doing when you made that remark.  You said it to purposefully hurt and embarrass her in front of other people.

If you have a problem with her you should be an adult and speak to her privately.  Have your brother there so no one can say the other person said something they didn't. ######


Prompt:
Basically my girlfriend (22) of 2 years was scheduled to undergo a knee replacement surgery next month, I decided to pay for it.

The surgery is kinda necessary, she is having trouble walking and if not done in the next 6-8 months she could risk walking with crutches for the rest of her life as the success rate of the surgery will go down rather quickly if postponed.

Well guess what, I found out she cheated on me about 5 months ago, (not long term but a one night stand which is still as horrible imo).

This changed everything, although I decided not to break up (for now), I’m not going to spend that kinda money on her, and as I Have already decided I won’t be spending it on myself I decided to give it to my sister to pay for her tuition without telling my gf.

She knew last week and she has been crying and screaming ever since that I fucked up her life as she will be disabled for the rest of her life (no health insurance and she will never be able to save that kind of money within the frame of a year).

I’m not going to change my mind, but I was wondering, am I an asshole in your opinion? ######

Response: ESH.  It's fair enough to not want to pay for her surgery, but you really should break up with her.  There is no way to sustain a relationship with you resenting her for cheating, and her resenting you because she may be disabled for the rest of her life. ######


Prompt:
I met her 27 years ago. We lived next door to each other for 3 years and she was a very good neighbor to have. Very nice. We reconnected 2 years ago and she's been to several of my parties. But she's really bad about inviting like 20 people to come with her and I'm invaded.

Don't get me wrong! They're super nice people and when they come, they're taking out my garbage, washing dishes, they're great! But it's a little daunting to be expecting maybe 15 people and having 40 turn up.

But that's not the real problem. Even though we were neighbors, I never really understood just how...stupid she is. I mean like verging on brain damaged. She's just really, really dense. I had her over a couple of times last year and it was, just...unbearable. She has a REALLY loud, abrasive HAW HAW HAW!! laugh that just sets my teeth on edge. She constantly interrupts you when you're talking and it takes FOREVER to explain literally ANYTHING more complex than "food tastes good" to her. She also tends to get really, really drunk very quickly. She's also a 'close talker' and cannot seem to modulate the volume of her voice.

If it weren't for this virus, I'd be fielding daily messages, calls and texts from her wanting to come over and hang out. I usually just make excuses or pretend I'm not home. I keep hoping she'll get the hint, but, nope! Like I said, she's just not very bright.

Am I the asshole for ducking her? ######

Response: ESH.  If you don't like her and don't want to hang out with her, then you don't want to hang out with her.  But calling someone "brain-damaged" even behind their back is out of line, especially when it sounds like you're mostly just annoyed by how loud she is.  And while she should probably get the hint from all the excuses, if you haven't outright made it clear you don't have the kind of relationship she thinks you do, you can't entirely blame her for thinking it's just a timing problem.  Tell her it was nice to reconnect, but you're just not interested in hanging out any more, and deal with the fallout. ######


Prompt:
I’ve lived in the Charlotte North Carolina area since I was 16 and my wife has lived here since her first year of college (we both went to UNCC)

We have kids 3 kids and one on the way.  Matthew (7),
Hunter and Holly (4). These were names I suggested but my wife loved them where I suggested them and agreed to them without any question.

We just found out or next child will be female. I suggested the name Charlotte. She said she liked that name but she thought it would be weird to name her Charlotte since we live right outside of it. I said, well what do you think we’ve been doing with the names? She asked what I meant and I pointed out that Matthew was named after the town Matthews, Hunter after Huntersville and Holly after Mount Holly. She got upset and mad that I never made that clear. I said I didn’t mean to be deceive her but she liked the names when I suggested them to her. She told me that I should have told her the reason I liked those names and that had she had known she probably wouldn’t have named our kids that. She said that she now she’s second guessing our whole relationship because of this. AITA ######

Response: ESH.  Hi, fellow Charlottean!   Why the hell would you keep that from her?  It’s really kinda dumb, but I can see why she would be irritated.  Marriage is based on honesty, and deception (intentional or not) has no place in a good marriage. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend cheated on me a while back. He went on a date with someone he met on Tinder, and slept with his sisters best friend repeatedly. During these times, he’d be unresponsive over text, at the time I never really thought much of it though, because we’re both busy adults with lives.

I agreed to take him back, I’m really trying to trust him again, however it’s been difficult.

Here’s where my question comes in to play.

He has a hygiene bag for his razor and toothbrush, etc... that he uses when he stays the night. I helped him move a couple weeks ago, and I noticed that the inside of the bag was wet, even though he hadn’t stayed the night at my place in weeks. I asked him if he remembered the last time he used it, and he said “whenever the last time I stayed the night at your place was”. I mentioned that it was wet, and then asked him if he had been staying the night anywhere else, and he suddenly remembered that he used the bag one day when he woke up late and took his toothbrush with him to work.

I have complete access to his phone, and haven’t found anything that would insinuate he’s still seeing anyone else. He removed the sisters friend from social media at my request, and then blocked her himself without me having to ask, he also blocked any other woman that he had talked to or that had shown interest in him since we met, without my asking him to.

My question is this: given this back story, would I be the asshole if I enabled his SC location for just me without telling him? I’m debating on asking him to enable it, or enabling it myself without him knowing. I’ve been leaning toward enabling it myself without saying anything, but I’m conflicted on violating his privacy without consent. ######

Response:
 ESH.  He sucks for cheating, you suck because like you said you're planning on willfully violating his privacy.

If you can't trust him, end the relationship. ######


Prompt:
I went on a 3 week long international trip with a group of ~15 other recent college graduates (last year, pre-coronavirus). We all mostly knew of each other, but weren't really friends ahead of time.

Early on in the trip, "Kimberly" was particularly loud about what a picky eater she was. She would proudly exclaim that she only liked chicken nuggets. It quickly became frustrating as after every meal, there would have to be this big discussion about what new food she ate and how gross it was. It's worth noting that this wasn't some exotic destination... admittedly, I'm pretty picky myself and had a lot of fish and chips on the trip.

This continued for most of the trip, most horrifyingly while we were visiting an indigenous village and she loudly went on about how disgusting the food was while the villagers that prepared the meal were serving her. On one of the final days, we were all out looking for food and proposed about 5 different spots that she all turned down ("Can't we just find a McDonalds?"). Finally I snapped, and said to her- "You should consider yourself very lucky that you grew up wealthy enough that you had the choice to eat chicken nuggets at every meal and didn't have to just be grateful that any food at all was put in front of you. Many of us worked for months on end to save up money to enjoy this trip as a once in a lifetime experience and listening to you complain about the food every day has been very exhausting."

She stormed off and the group mostly awkwardly split up at that point. Later in the night, she pounded on my hotel door and lectured me about how dare I call her a rich girl, no one likes me, I was the one that ruined the trip by getting injured earlier on, etc.. I tried talking to one of the other girls the next day, who pretty much just said that everyone else wants to stay out of it. AITA? ######

Response: ESH.  For what it's worth, her only liking chicken nuggets screams "grew up poor" to me much, much more than "grew up rich." ######


Prompt:
So this is pretty silly, but I’m currently in the doghouse over it.

Since COVID began in March my wife and our two kids have been isolating at home. My wife and I have flexible work schedules so we’ve been alternating mornings and evenings taking turns looking after the kids. For example I’ll work 8 AM - noon one day, then noon - 5 PM the next. From the time we wake up until 8 AM we manage kiddos together. Ditto for the evening routine. This has been working great so far.

However, my wife loves long hot showers. A week or two ago she asked a little before 8 AM if she could nip up and take a quick shower. I said ‘sure’ not really thinking much of it, anyway she didn’t reappear for another thirty minutes and I ended up getting a late start. This happened a few more times until yesterday when I said ’no.’ I explained that it was cutting into my work time and that she should take her showers during ‘her’ time like I do. (I shower during my work time. I imagine she could also shower in the evening after the kids go to sleep).

In any case my wife didn't see it the same way and was very much aggrieved. Then this AM she spent the entire breakfast routine on her phone not helping. After I'd fed the kids, made the coffee, she asked if she could take a shower. Again I said ’no.’ Now she’s stomping around the house still pissed at me.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH.  Don't know how you manage to have children without learning to compromise first.

Showers are not work.  Showers are personal care/relaxation and should not be taken during hours that she is being paid for. ######


Prompt:
My step brother and me have never gotten along. He's very opinionated (atheist, feminist, Marxist, lgbt, etc) and always makes his opinions known, usually causing massive drama at family gatherings. Mum says he has histrionic personality disorder. I'm not sure if that's her diagnosis or his psychologist's.

Anyway, I recently found out he refused to go to his cousin's wedding because it was religious. And I'm not a religious person, but my fiancé is. So I decided to tell my fiancé we should have a religious wedding. My fiancé is over the moon but I'm just trying to stop my step bro attending. Am I the asshole for that? ######

Response:
 ESH.  But especially you.

You're planning your WEDDING and you're doing it with your stepbrother in  mind?  wtf????

You don't sound mature enough to be getting married. ######


Prompt:
I work in a place with several thousand people and we have a gym for employees. One time I was training there when a guy comes in and starts making "HRNNNNRNNNGGG" noises while training. On every. Single. Repetition. I've worked out for years and I've never heard anyone be this loud. It just kept going on and on and on. Other people and I were looking at each other, giving these "is this guy serious?" looks. I cannot be sure but it also seemed to me that he would make these noises extra loud when next to attractive women.

After 15-20 mins of loud noises, I got fed up. I walked to the front of the gym, picked up the smallest dumbells I could find, and started doing exaggerated biceps curls while loudly yelling "HRHRNNNNNNGGGGG". I think I got to the second set when the guy noticed, then went all red and quickly left the gym. I haven't seen him since.

I posted a FB status about it and people found it funny, but the same day, a friend I introduced to training a couple of months before messaged me. He said "If I were the guy there I'd be extremely depressed and never come back". My friend is quite overweight and I can see his position. I felt bad after that.

Mind you, the guy I got fed up with was sporty, not overweight. I wouldn't have done it if it was a beginner. Still, AITA? ######

Response: ESH.   You don’t get a pass on being an obnoxious jerk just because the other guy was an obnoxious jerk first.   Why couldn’t you just have quietly said something to him instead of being so passive aggressive about it? ######


Prompt:
TL;DR: I took someones test for them and they are refusing to pay. Would I be the asshole if I emailed his college?

BACKSTORY:

Since the whole pandemic has happened, people are taking online tests which leads to them wanting to cheat. I go to a good university and have been contacted through acquaintances of friends about helping them on their tests. I offered tutoring for free but they were only interested in the actual taking of tests. I initially had moral qualms with this but it was quickly dismissed by them cheating in one way or another and this way I would get money in my pocket. I made it very clear from the start that I could not guarantee any grade but they insisted I take their test.

DILEMMA:

This week I was asked to do a test that was approximated at 1 hour long by a person we will refer to as Joe. I agreed to take it, and the test ended up taking 3 hours as it was a "take home test" with the intention of the student going online and seeking advice per each question. I notified Joe of this after the test and it was agreed that Joe was going to pay double. Earlier today I received a message from Joe stating that he was disappointed in the B I received on the test as opposed to an A. I felt bad and told Joe that I would be reducing the price back to the original instead of the double we had agreed to. He stated that he would not be paying since he was not satisfied and could do it for cheaper on Chegg. We both exchanged some "choice words" and I told him that if he was not keen on paying the money I would be notifying his school about his cheating. Would I be the asshole if I emailed his school?

\-As a side note I am done doing peoples work for good. ######

Response: ESH, y'all are morally bankrupt ######


Prompt:
I'm M24 my gf is F23 and her friends are f23 and just finished their first year of law school. They're always talking about how much money they're gonna make and always debating on issues and I join in a lot of the time and its a good discussion.

Recently we were talking about our governments assault rifle ban and I chimed in a few points and one of the girls basically said that I don't know anything about the law and was being a bitch. I told her that just because she's in law school doesn't mean she's a genius and she retorted back to me that its the best law school in the country and they'll all be making more money than me.

I just laughed and said that the job market was saturated with lawyers and its extremely hard to get in a firm now and told her to have fun being unemployed and having 100k worth of debt.

My Gf laughed although her friends were calling me an asshole, my Gf said I was a bit of an ass but I disagree. She came at me so I went back at her.

AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH, though you slightly more so- sounds like you were having a debate about an idea, someone questioned your qualifications, and you came back at them with an ad hominum attack which is pretty much always an asshole move. Their earning potential had nothing to do with the topic of debate, at least her questioning your knowledge on the topic was related.

Her friend sucks as well for trying to act qualified because she's in law school. It's like psych students offering diagnosis, yeah they know more than the average person, doesn't make them experts. ######


Prompt:
I have two adult children. My daughter has a five year old daughter and my son's girlfriend is pregnant with their first child. I've always got the impression that she doesn't like me, but that's fine. I don't particularly like her either but we are civil for my son's sake. I'm Brazilian. I grew up in Brazil and I go back once or twice a year to visit family.

I had both of my children over last night and I mentioned that when it is safe to travel I will be taking my granddaughter to Brazil for the first time. My son's girlfriend said that she doesn't want her child going with me in the future, which is fine, her hypothetical child was never invited. Then she said she doesn't want her child exposed to that culture.

I asked what she meant by that and she said she is worried about her daughter (she doesn't know what she is having yet) growing up around my culture because I've had multiple plastic surgeries, my daughter got a boob job for a graduation gift, and I'm vain. Brazil does have a reputation for being the plastic surgery capital of the world, but it's not like I'm taking the five year old there to get a consultation. It is also a beautiful country with a culture that goes far beyond plastic surgery.

I told her she is incredibly stupid, borderline racist, and she doesn't have to worry about being taken on any trips. My husband said maybe we should take her and get something done about her chin (I did tell him that was an asshole thing to say) my son now wants me to apologize for calling her stupid. ######

Response: ESH, this whole post is a solid thirty second cringe. ######


Prompt:
So I will keep this as short as possible because I don’t want it to blow up and risk people figuring out my identity.and I’m just looking for genuine advice and judgment from few comments and not more

So I found out my 14 year old daughters isn’t my biological daughter but my wife’s Ap’s daughter.

And tbh I always suspected this and it wasn’t out of no where as I had my doubts prior to this.but never have I treated her differently compared to my biological children because of this!Never!

So i immediately filed for divorce and decided to contemplate hard and deep about the role I want in her life. I was almost leaning for joint custody where I get to see her once a week or something along those lines and decided I will be paying child support,

until She and my ex came to house last month to discuss and she said that she loves me so much but I need to understand that I shouldn’t expect to mean more to her than her biological father. So I lost it and was so furious and told them both to get the fuck out and good luck getting a dime from her “broke dad”.
I feel really shitty about it and I know I was the asshole for that. But this is not what I’m asking

Will I be the asshole if I decided that I don’t want to be a part of the child’s life? And I don’t live in the us so no laws that require me to pay or anything. ######

Response: ESH, this child is not at fault for what the adults around her have done. ######


Prompt: There's a backstory, basically a few days ago I redownloaded Skype and saw he reached out to me saying "I need to ask you something" I'm assuming it was just the only thing I haven't blocked him on and his only way to reach me. I replied even though I was several months late and he said he'd forgot the question he was gonna ask but we started being friendly and talking again, eventually he told me he had a girlfriend now, showed me photos of her, mind you this woman is probably 250 lbs, but I'm a nice person or I try my best to be and I was like oh she's pretty said I was happy for him etc. We continued to talk, didn't flirt at all but eventually he told me he still had feelings and I was like yeah maybe we shouldn't talk then and we stopped, fast forward a few hours and I got phone call from him, I picked up and his girlfriend began screaming at me calling me a whore and all this crap and then she hung up giving me no room to speak, I didn't even know she didn't like me until that point. He continued to text me after that and eventually said he still loved me so I reached out to her on Instagram and told her her boyfriend was confessing his feelings to me because I didn't want him cheating behind her back. Instead of accepting that she flipped out and called me a whore, trailor trash and many other things, I tried to be nice for multiple hours but she kept trashing me and eventually I just snapped I guess. I pointed out she was super insecure and she continuously said I needed to date better guys and I was like "ironic bc you're with the guy who cheated on me" and I went out and said a lot of rude things and eventually said "Good day, fat ass." She trashed me for multiple hours and I stood by and took it, I was merely trying to help her but I don't know if I'm the bad guy for going off on her. ######

Response:
 ESH, the moment he started saying he had feelings still you should have ended the conversation. When she called and started screeching, you should have hung up and blocked the number. That’s his problem to deal with, not yours and there was no need to keep feeding into the drama.

If he contacts you again ignore it. Only people who enjoy being caught up in dramatics stay involved. Who cares if she thinks you’re a whore and trash, her insults don’t mean anything.

Edit: Went through your post history, and putting this story together with that pic you posted of yourself, I’m thinking the girlfriend is probably just bigger than you and not fat and you’re being a twat. Grow up. ######


Prompt: With the current world climate the worry of mortality has been brought up in the minds of many including my(20) half-sister sister (32). My half-sister was discussing with me on the phone how difficult it will be to divide everything evenly if our dad passed away (he has health problems so it may happen sooner rather than later). I then nonchalantly mentioned it wouldn't be perfectly even because my mom and our dad have shared finances, assets, etc. so in their will my full-blooded little sister and I would be recieving more than her and my half-brother. She was honestly pretty hurt to hear that and did not think my little sister and I deserved that because my mother has been part of her life since she was 6 and she has two children who are owed something. She is now mad at my mother and our dad. My dad thinks I am TA for saying anything. My mother stands by the decision in their will because while she has been part of my half-siblings lives she has never over stepped boundaries and acted like their mother because they already had a mother who had almost full custody of them. Also, my half-siblings have a mother and step-father who are going to give them stuff when they die. My little sister and I on the other hand will not be recieving inheritance from two households like them. I'm not saying that they will recieve nothing but it will just not be equal to my little sister and I. I just don't know how to feel about it but my dad is very upset with me and I feel really crappy about the whole thing. ######

Response:
 ESH, the level of entitlement from both you and your sister here is intense.

It's up to your dad how things are divided. His will should make it clear how to proceed.

I always cringe when people start dividing up the inheritance before the person is actually dead, it comes across so grabby. ######


Prompt:
A couple things. I did “agree” to my wife that she’ll name our first kid, and the middle name will be named after my father, but I did say that I can veto names.

Recently, her dad passed away. It’s been a real tough time for her and us. She’s pregnant, it’s a very scary time.

She recently said to me that she wants to name our child after her dad. I’m a bit uneasy about that. I’m Korean, and my last name is Lee. Her dad’s name is Robert. My dad’s name is Eui-Tae.

I think you can see why this is bad. I really don’t want my kid to be made fun of. And both of us have to compromise. So, I used my veto power, and explained why. She refuses to name him anything else. I just think that’s really unfair.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH, tbh. She’s being ridiculous if she thinks Robert E Lee wouldn’t be a problem.

However..... why does your dad’s name need to be used for this child?

It seems her father dying is enough of an event to warrant a completely new approach to naming the baby. Why not use your dad’s name later? Or make Robert the middle name?

It sounds like both of y’all need to start this process over in light of her father’s death ######


Prompt:
I (19F East Asian), was out at the pub with my mum and dad (both Caucasian, I'm an adoptee) a few months back. We were at a table for the 3 of us and dad left to get drinks. A young woman came over and asked if we were using the chair, I was on my phone so mum told her 'yes' and left it at that. The woman didn't leave so mum asked if she needed anything else and the woman said 'nobody is sitting there, let me take the chair'.

Mum tried to explain that our drinks were getting bought and the woman just got angry for us 'reserving seats' and called my mum difficult before saying "You don't have to be such a Karen".

My mum got upset at this and said she was just trying to explain. By now I put my phone away and I was irritated. The woman just kind of smiled at me then turned to my mum and called her Karen again and asked if she was willing to die on this hill for a chair.

I said her name's not 'Karen' to the woman who then said, well she's got the hair and the face - she looks like a Karen. I was really annoyed now cos my mum was upset and just pushed the chair toward the girl. And I said "Well you look like a Shaniqua with your hair and nails like that". She immediately got heated, not aggressive, but very insistent that my comment crossed a line, that hers wasn't racially motivated and she would never call me a ch\*nk or anything (she didn't actually use the word). I said if she can reduce my mum to a meme for her benefit just cos she's white, I could do the same thing. I also mentioned she seemed like the kind of person who would ABSOLUTELY call me a 'chink' if she could get something (like a chair) out of it.

Anyway - AITA? ######

Response: ESH, someone else being an asshole does not give you a free pass on being an asshole ######


Prompt: I met this American guy who asked me if I were British based on my accent. I said no, I was Australian. He laughed and said that Australians and British people are the same so it made no difference. I tried to explain that we are not one in the same but he wouldn't listen. I asked him if he was American and he said he was and how I could tell. I said I could tell he was an American because he was fat. He told me that was way out of line, but so is calling an Australian a Brit, ######

Response: ESH, obviously. ######


Prompt:
Boyfriend (34M) and I (27F) have been together for 4 years (actually celebrated our anniversary just a few days ago). We're *very* different people and we argue a lot, but we always seem to make it work and we care about each other a lot regardless.

Anyway, last night we had probably the stupidest argument in the history of arguments. We had just gotten done watching a movie, and it was fairly late. He suggested starting *another* movie, but I am more of an early riser so I was pretty tired. I looked over at the clock and said something along the lines of "it's 12:30 in the morning, it's too late to start another movie". Boyfriend looked at the clock and FLIPPED SHIT because it was actually 12:28. Proceeded to call me a liar, and at one point even said something along the lines of "this is why I'm successful and you'll always be a failure" and went on about how it's important to be precise with your words etc etc etc.
I responded defending rounding the time slightly for simplicity, using the smallest RELEVANT increments of time, etc. This isn't a Nascar race, we don't need to be that precise.

Anyway it went back and forth like that for a while and at one point I (jokingly, but also not) said "you're so autistic" and maybe that was an asshole move but gd I was getting frustrated. For context: I don't know for 100% certainty but I'm pretty sure he actually is autistic. It's a touchy subject though. The argument ended in him screaming in my face to stop talking and me walking out and sleeping in the spare room. When I briefly came back to retrieve my pillow and a blanket, he said I was an asshole for calling him that. I ignored him and left to try and get some sleep. ######

Response: ESH, it's shitty to use autism as an insult, even more so when he might actually have it. But your BF was being a massive dick to you over literally nothing, and it concerns me that he got so incredibly demeaning and nasty. ######


Prompt:
I really don't like my wife's parents. Her mom acts dumb for attention, has to be treated like a child, and has emotional outbursts. Her dad is super judgmental, condescending, and doesn't seem to really like his own children. I wish my wife would just go no contact, because she doesn't enjoy them at all, but she keeps saying they are her family and she can't cut them off.

We spent the night at their lake house recently and everyone had been drinking. I guess FIL passed out downstairs because when I came down in the morning he was sleeping on the coach. MIL was making breakfast so I'm sure she heard most of this. I farted, which I guess woke him up and he immediately told me that I'm a fucking idiot and then he began calling me names. He was even using homophobic slurs so I started filming him.

MIL came out and started telling me that her daughter must be gay because I'm so womanly, and she just kept screaming at me to stop filming. My wife finally came down and they both started verbally abusing her. MIL began to cry about how ungrateful she is and how she never should have had her. I posted this on the internet and now they are threatening to sue me. I did take it down, but my wife is furious and says she is going to lose her parents over me. ######

Response: ESH, is this for real?  It sounds like a made up story.  You all (except your wife) sound like awful people. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because he knows my main

As of now, I’m 4 months pregnant, and this argument took place last night.So basically, my husband and I got into an argument when we were discussing the baby. We were talking about possible names, and I brought up that I would prefer that the baby and future babies have my last name.

My husband doesn’t like the idea of that, he wants all of his kids to share his last name, and he shut that down immediately. I’m not sure what name would give you guys a better understanding so I’m just gonna say his real last name. His last name is Gross, my last name is something more generic.

I understand that that’s something that he’d like to pass down to his children and all, but that’s just such a strange last name to have.

In case anyone was wondering, I kept my last name when we got married.

So AITA in this case? ######

Response: ESH, give the baby one name. Like Cher. ######


Prompt:
I (28M), have been taking care of my sisters (30f) two dogs for the last three weeks. My sister and her husband (32) are trying to sell their condo. I live in a house with a back yard and at first I agreed to taking care of their dogs even though I have issues with their dogs. In the past they have attacked one of mine to the point I had to get the little one stitches.

Tonight I get back from walking my two oldest dogs and I hear aggressive barking in the back. One I get outside I see her dog attacking my other dog. I run outside, and separate it. My dog had minor cuts and didn’t  require stitches but I took him to the vet ASAP to be sure. While at the vet I called my parents up and told them what happened. I told them my sister must come get her dogs tomorrow or I will call the humane society and let them know about her dog attacking mine. I have vet bills to prove it. My mom and dad told me I’m overreacting and I need to chill and not to ruin this for my sister since this is her first Mother’s Day.

Here’s my biggest concern. My sister and brother in law have a 6 month old. I love my nephew and I do not want to imagine one of their dogs hurting my nephew.

So, AITA for demanding my sister to take her dogs back or I’ll call the humane society if she refuses? ######

Response:
 ESH, for a couple of reasons. you took in a dog that you KNEW was violent towards yours and then blamed your sister when something happened? you should never have taken the dogs in the first place. your dog got hurt because of a mistake YOU made, and now you're misplacing that anger in your sister.

you also didn't...tell your sister it seems? you said you called your parents and told THEM about what happened. why wouldn't you not just talk to her directly, especially if you're putting her on such a tight schedule? calling the humane society is a pretty damn extreme step when you haven't even contacted the owners yet

edited to ESH after seeing in another comment that you only agreed to two weeks and that they're refusing to take the dogs back ######


Prompt:
Like a lot of families we have a group chat which is the most common way we talk to each other. It's been really nice because I feel like we are closer as a family because of it, and it's led to a lot of inside jokes and fun memories.

It can be sort of cliquey at times when we have family events because of the inside jokes, so I can see why some family members might feel left out like my wife does. She asked to join and I told her I would see but couldn't guarantee it because one of the rules we have is that no one can be added unless everyone in the group agrees to add that person, which is a fairly standard rule most group chats have.

A few people in the group didn't want to add my wife because they think she would be a killjoy, so I had to tell her she couldn't join. I know this really bothered her but I tried to explain to her that I couldn't add her if there were people saying they didn't want her to join.

She is upset with me because I didn't force the group to add her (not that I could), but if I did that people would just leave the chat so it wouldn't fix anything. She then thought I should leave in protest but I didn't. I may not agree with their decision, but they are still family. I know they don't have anything personal against my wife. It's just her sense of humor which is more sensitive than the rest of the family.

Some people may ask about creating another group. We do have one with just my immediate family but it isn't very active. She is a part of that one.

So AITA? ######

Response: ESH, except your wife. If I were in your situation, I would be extremely hurt by and angry with every person that voted no. The fact that you don’t seem bothered by your family not wanting to include your wife doesn’t speak very highly of you. ######


Prompt:
This account is a throwaway

Recently my son had a child with his now ex. He told me he is not planning to raise the kid or being involved with the kid and he is just sending child support. My daughter overheard this and came to the room saying he is not a man because he does not want to raise a child.

My son is 19 daughter is 27. I then in the moment brought up my daughter's abortion saying that she is a not a women because she did not take responsibility and raised the kid she helped create and chose to get rid of it. My daughter screamed and said it's not the same thing and left.  So aita for bringing up my daughter's  abortion after she told her brother that he is not a man because he chose not to help raise the kid he helped create. ######

Response:
 ESH, except your son.

You're TA because your daughter has a right to have an abortion. I've never met someone who has had an abortion who was thrilled with the idea, they made the hard, best choice for them and the fetus, and you shamed your daughter for that. Gross.

Your daughter is also TA for shaming her brother for not "being a man." Your son doesn't want to be a dad, which he has that right, but he is stepping up and financially providing for the child.

Yikes all around. ######


Prompt:
This happened a couple months  ago. It had snowed a bunch and so I went out to clear a spot for my girlfriend at the time for when she got home from work as she is a doctor. I spent a while digging it out, and as I was finishing up some girl drove up and parked in it (**while I was still shoveling it**!). I told her that I just dug it out intending to use it and asked her to move, and she didn't. She then got out of her car and walked away... Turns out she lived two buildings down so she normally wouldn't park there anyways!

Our complex had a mini snow plow and the dude was plowing in the area and saw this all go down. He helped me move all the snow from the pile he just created and put it all around her car. We buried it up to the door handles on all sides. He then dug out a new spot for me.

Saw her later trying to dig out her car, turns out she didn't have a shovel. So, naturally, bc I'm petty I went out and reshovelled the sidewalk from the lot up to our building, and threw all of the snow on her vehicle while I did it. Then went inside and took my shovel with me. talking about it now, friends call this an asshole move

AITA? ######

Response: ESH, but you're the right kind of asshole. Hopefully she learned there can be consequences for being entitled. ######


Prompt:
Hey everyone,

So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years, I live in Germany, he's Dutch but works in Germany, this Easter he wanted to go see his family in the Netherlands, I was fine with it, I love his family, they're really nice and sweet and honest people.

I have online classes since I'm in uni and I don't want to study here because I don't have the available material and notebooks and I don't have a desk here.

We were supposed to be home on Monday, my boyfriend's car was at the workshop here and we had to wait until Wednesday till the car was fixed in the morning.

He then asked me to stay here another day because he wants to see his family one more day, as the prior night they had a small argument, I said yes sure, but I'm done delaying getting home and Thursday is the max, he says okay, I have a few packages arriving Friday, and online classes I have to attend early in the morning.

So today came and we showered, I finished getting ready and went downstairs and saw him gaming, he said he doesn't want to leave until Saturday, and I said it's not fair to keep telling me we're gonna leave "tomorrow" everyday and changing his mind and I have online classes and packages tomorrow and promised a friend I would see him this week.

He got really pissed and started packing angrily, saying he's pissed and shit. I don't get it I just want to go home.
So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 ESH, both of you. This Easter I saw so many Germans coming to my hometown for the weekend (I am Dutch). Both our governments asked everyone to stay home and only cross the border if it was for work that you can't do at home. I can't see my family either, it's super hard, but I am putting up with it so we don't all get sick. STAY HOME

On topic, when you guys are back home, sit him down and have a good conversation about why he kept promising to go home and then delaying it. Does he miss his family too much? Is he not happy anymore in Germany? Try and figure it out together, so you can both be happy. ######


Prompt:
I was talking to my sister who is considering having kids in the future. The topic of baby names came up and I had a visceral reaction to the name she preferred, which I thought was a bizarre name.

The context is that she moved to NYC a few years ago to pursue her dream of writing YA fiction. I read her stories and try to give feedback, but I've noticed lately she's been trying to inject more ethnic characters even though race is not a dynamic in the story (i.e. having a Hispanic vampire in a story set in Victorian England for no apparent reason).

I feel as though playing up diversity is really important to her, because even though we look white, our parents are third or fourth generation European-American, she insists on identifying as Hispanic because our maternal grandfather was second generation Mexican-American. She wants to be considered a minority author when she gets published.

This all boiled over when she said she wants to name a hypothetical future daughter "Xiamara"

Over the phone I thought it was spelled with a Z, and when she corrected me I just lost it. Also, she insists on rolling the R so it sounds like "Zee-ah-ma-rrrrra"

All of our family has very boring common names and I feel like she's  just doing this to be different without consideration for how it may affect the child throughout her life. ######

Response:
 ESH, also what is it with white Americans really trying to find an ounce of minority in their family tree to capitalise on it and steal from actual people from that minority?

Note - I am angry about her wanting to be a minority author, I don't care about the name. ######


Prompt:
I get it, it's his money so I can't tell him not to spend it, but please hear me out.

I'm 19 and still live with my parents, I've been saving up with the little amount of money I make while working so that I can move out of my parents house. It's crowded and they've made it obvious that I'm a nuisance in their life, even though I also pay rent and buy all of my own things.

My boyfriend (19) and I have been planning this for ages, but he has a bad habit of impulse buying. He recently lost his job and gets money from our Government Financial Support we have in Australia (Centrelink). The usual amount he gets given has increased because of COVID, so I asked him to please save up the extra money he has (since he barely saved anything since we started planning this 1 year ago). He promised me that he will save, but only promised that he'll "Try not to spend any money". At this point I didn't want to start an argument so I just let it go.

Today he sold his old car, and made about $2200 off of it. He messaged me about it, followed by a whole bunch of things that he suddenly really wanted to buy (laptop, University course etc). I messaged him to "Please save it and for the love of God, just because you have the money doesn't mean you should spend it". All he said was "I'll try". I have to admit, I am not having a good day, so I lost it. I told him that I was sick of his stupid spending habits, and I hate that he's not taking saving money seriously by spending everything he saves on shit that he suddenly feels like he needs. He just responded with "Then fuck off if you don't like it because I am trying".

I didn't reply. I muted him and refuse to speak with him.

AITA? ######

Response: ESH-- that is, a very soft ESH and some advice. You're only 19. Don't make your future revolve around your boyfriend. He likes things how they are- few responsibilities and money to blow on whatever he likes. He hasn't saved any money *because he doesn't want to*. Moving in with him will mean supporting him while he spends his money on whatever he pleases. If you want to move out of home, save enough for the bare essentials, find a share house, and go. And think about spending your money on uni or TAFE; it will make you better off in the long run. ######


Prompt:
When I was thirteen, I had a Bar Mitzvah, and was given some shares of Apple stock by my grandparents.   Like any dumb kid, I was not thinking of saving for the future, so I asked my parents to cash it in and I wanted to buy stuff with it.  My dad was hesitant, but he gave me the $3200 and I blew it in a few months on whatever was fun at the time.

Fast forward 28 years, and my parents a are talking to my sister and I about the estate planning since they are approaching 80.    My dad tells me that he never sold the stock, and wants to transfer the portfolio back to me.    For the last 28 years I was unaware that the stocks were still there and what was 1000 shares of AAPL has now become 14,000 shares.

My big sister comes in and starts throwing a fit at that idea. She says that the money should be split, especially since I “don’t need it as much as her”.  She never had a Bat Mitzvah, and therefore was never given stocks like that, but my parents did buy her a $500,000 house, a vacation condo, paid for her full college tuition while I went in the military to pay for college, and they still send her money monthly because she does like to work.

AITA for thinking that the money should belong to me as originally intended, even though I thought it was spent a long time ago?  Thank you for taking the time to read this ######

Response:
 ESH- you all are spoiled rotten by wealth and this is by far the most first world problem I’ve ever heard.

Edited from NAH to ESH ######


Prompt: It’s in the title, my gf has been feeling insecure about her own body (she’s gorgeous) and she made me unfollow this girl from work because supposedly she has a “nicer body than her” (find her average imo). The coworker came up to me and asked me why I unfollowed her and I said it was because my girlfriend made me unfollow her, I just had to. And she said “Awh that’s so sad of her why” and I said “because she thinks you’re prettier than her”. She said “awhh” and walked away. My gf found out and she said I betrayed confidentiality and that I have given a boost to her ego. My girlfriend is so beautiful, like a 10, why are they all insecure? I feel like I am the asshole because I told her the truth. Why is that a beautiful girl gets insecure over an average Nancy. I don’t sexualize my coworkers at all ######

Response:
 ESH- there is an unwritten rule of never letting anyone getting one up on your girl, or even making someone else feel like they got the best of her- especially people she doesn’t even know.

However, girlfriend shouldn’t ask you to unfollow pretty girls that’s dumb and not helping anything- you still see coworker everyday so why does social media matter. She has to work on her. Don’t let her put dumb rules in place that contribute to an unhealthy relationship (jealousy, placing wedges between friendships, causing partner to have awkward convo etc) ######


Prompt:
I (M16) really don't like kids and they usually don't like me. I don't have any experience with them and I think in general it's better if I'm just not around them. I always make this clear.

My sister (F24) has two kids (F4 and M6). Yesterday she wanted to go do some activity with her friends so she stopped by my house (I was home alone) and asked if she could leave them. I said absolutely not because I had homework and didn't want to spend my afternoon taking care of two little kids. After some arguing back and forth she said that she was just leaving them, and I said I would in no way watch them besides making sure they didn't die.

She eventually just drove off because she was going to be late and left them there with me. I kept my promise and I did nothing with them. I just did what I wanted to while I watched them.

All I did was play video games and listen to some music (100 gecs) that happened to be fairly explicit. I thought that was that and eventually my sister came and got her kids.

However today I got an angry call from my sister. Apparently the kids have been repeating some of the explicit lines from the music I was listening to. My sister was pissed off and asked for an apology but I refused. She then talked to my parents and they've grounded me and told me I was an asshole to let kids listen to that kind of music. AITA? ######

Response: ESH- Look, I’m not to keen on kids either; but those kids are innocent in all of this and despite the anger you feel towards your sister you’re partially TA for leaving them alone and keeping them out of harms way. Your sister is partially TA for just dumping her kids without any warning or agreement. You need to talk to your parents and your sister about why what she did wasn’t okay. ######


Prompt:
I (42f) get so angry at my sister (45f) there is so much back story there is no way I can put it all here.

The meat of the problem is, I have had a phone account for 20 some years give or take. I added our parents years ago to get them up to date.  When my sister got divorced she was struggling because her husband basically ghosted her and moved to Australia to marry a chick he met online. So, I agreed to add her to my account so she would have a phone.

Fast forward to now. Obviously shit is crazy. My sis was working a temp job and got laid off. She is getting unemployment.

I had upgraded my phone that was like 7 years old because they offered me a free phone and after argueing about how free was free I agreed. I was showing it to her and she asked if she could upgrade hers. I shrugged and said you could probably get a free one also, go for it.

I look at the bill and it jumped 50$. I look at the phones. She got a phone that costs almost 1000.00.

I get super pissed and call her and she's all like.. I didn't know it cost that much.. I will pay it..yaddaa..

So I tell her I am not paying for your f'ing phone and this is why your husband f'ing left you.

I'm apparently an asshole now according to my family. ######

Response:
 ESH- just going by the phone situation, she shouldn’t have added the phone costs if you are paying the bill. But bringing her ex into an argument about a phone is a low blow, and the insult isn’t worth the aggravation. Particularly as it sounds like maybe there’s more to that since he left for a online girl.

It feels like you’re skipping a ton of backstory, TBH. ######


Prompt:
Boyfriend (34M) and I (27F) have been together for 4 years (actually celebrated our anniversary just a few days ago). We're *very* different people and we argue a lot, but we always seem to make it work and we care about each other a lot regardless.

Anyway, last night we had probably the stupidest argument in the history of arguments. We had just gotten done watching a movie, and it was fairly late. He suggested starting *another* movie, but I am more of an early riser so I was pretty tired. I looked over at the clock and said something along the lines of "it's 12:30 in the morning, it's too late to start another movie". Boyfriend looked at the clock and FLIPPED SHIT because it was actually 12:28. Proceeded to call me a liar, and at one point even said something along the lines of "this is why I'm successful and you'll always be a failure" and went on about how it's important to be precise with your words etc etc etc.
I responded defending rounding the time slightly for simplicity, using the smallest RELEVANT increments of time, etc. This isn't a Nascar race, we don't need to be that precise.

Anyway it went back and forth like that for a while and at one point I (jokingly, but also not) said "you're so autistic" and maybe that was an asshole move but gd I was getting frustrated. For context: I don't know for 100% certainty but I'm pretty sure he actually is autistic. It's a touchy subject though. The argument ended in him screaming in my face to stop talking and me walking out and sleeping in the spare room. When I briefly came back to retrieve my pillow and a blanket, he said I was an asshole for calling him that. I ignored him and left to try and get some sleep. ######

Response: ESH your boyfriend flipping out and screaming at you really wouldn't be appropriate when he is on the spectrum or not. Don't use ASD as an insult. Your boyfriends behaviour is inappropriate. ######


Prompt:
When I was thirteen, I had a Bar Mitzvah, and was given some shares of Apple stock by my grandparents.   Like any dumb kid, I was not thinking of saving for the future, so I asked my parents to cash it in and I wanted to buy stuff with it.  My dad was hesitant, but he gave me the $3200 and I blew it in a few months on whatever was fun at the time.

Fast forward 28 years, and my parents a are talking to my sister and I about the estate planning since they are approaching 80.    My dad tells me that he never sold the stock, and wants to transfer the portfolio back to me.    For the last 28 years I was unaware that the stocks were still there and what was 1000 shares of AAPL has now become 14,000 shares.

My big sister comes in and starts throwing a fit at that idea. She says that the money should be split, especially since I “don’t need it as much as her”.  She never had a Bat Mitzvah, and therefore was never given stocks like that, but my parents did buy her a $500,000 house, a vacation condo, paid for her full college tuition while I went in the military to pay for college, and they still send her money monthly because she does like to work.

AITA for thinking that the money should belong to me as originally intended, even though I thought it was spent a long time ago?  Thank you for taking the time to read this ######

Response: ESH you're all kind of greedy. Your dad does not suck because he didn't sell the Apple stock. He should keep that money for himself and have fun and not spend it on unappreciative offspring ######


Prompt:
So this all started about a year ago, one of my close friends had her house broken into and had a large amount of valuables stolen. By the looks of it, the burglar had planned it out and taken his time. The burglar is still on the loose and the police don't currently have any suspects, I doubt he will ever be caught. So after i heard this, I decided to take measures to protect my family and my home. I decided to install strike plate covers, motion lights, and security cameras. A few days after i had installed them, my neighbor noticed them and had asked me to take them down saying that they were "Creepy and Intrusive", I told him no and even showed him the cameras to prove that they were not recording his property. Ever since then we have heard grumbles form the neighbor and others, and were even excluded from the neighbors 4th of July party. Fast forward to a week ago, the same neighbors car was broken into and was caught on my cameras. The neighbor asked for the footage and i literally laughed at him and told him that it would be too creepy and intrusive of me to give it to him, he got extremely mad at me. I ended up copying the footage to a hidden thumb drive and deleting it off of the DVR, i only did this so that if i actually needed it then i would still have it.

&#x200B;

I asked my wife and she says that even though what i did was sort of childish, I was still in the right. So reddit, Was i an asshole? ######

Response: ESH You were given a golden opportunity to turn around your asshole nieghbour's opinion, and play the hero of the nieghbourhood. Instead, you were petty and spiteful, only making things worse. ######


Prompt:
Hey guys! So this is an issue that's been weighing on me for some time now. A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were on a Zoom call with her parents. I've never felt 100% comfortable with her parents, partially because her mom is known to make derogatory comments about my height. She often refers to the pair of us as "the long and the short of it". For context, my girlfriend is 5' 9'' and I am three inches shorter.

The Zoom call was going well until my girlfriend's mom began talking about her culinary experimentation with souffles. She was lamenting about how quickly souffles deflate, and my girlfriend hurried in to say that I must be a souffle because I was tall-ish in my childhood but stopped growing. I was enraged at what she said, not just because of how cruel it was, but also because she must have known how her mother would react. Both her parents started laughing and her father even went on to compare me to a lemon souffle, which I assume was a racial joke. I then told my girlfriend that if I was a souffle, she must be a double stuffed Oreo because she had gained weight during the stay-at-home-order. Her dad laughed at that, but her mom was very displeased and ended the Zoom call. Afterwards, my girlfriend told me that she was very disappointed in me, although I felt that I had to salvage my dignity in front of her parents. Things have been pretty awkward between us ever since then, so I'm wondering AITA? ######

Response: ESH you should’ve been the mature one and not insult her back. calling your girlfriend fat in front of her parents wasn’t a good way to “salvage your dignity” ######


Prompt:
My brother and I are classmates and are now working on a math project together. We got our subject 4 weeks ago.

At the start, we split the project into two parts, one that was purely math and the other that was the programming part. We agreed that I would take on the math part and he would take on the programming part since we happen to be more at ease with our respective parts. We had also agreed to still work on the other person's part, even if it is just to double check their results.

These last two weeks, we haven't made nearly enough progress. I've been stuck on the same problem since then, and having a rather important exam coming up, I didn't have as much time as I would have liked. He doesn't have that exam but still hasn't worked at all on the project.

I talked to him about it, and we agreed that for the next few days, I'd work on the programming part and he would work on the problem I was stuck on. I have since made significant progress with our program. He has worked a bit on the problem I was stuck on (made a graph in Geogebra) and got a result that was clearly false (we both agree on that).

Now he wants us to switch in the last moment, so that he can finish what I started and I work on the problem where he made no progress whatsoever (mostly because he spent close to no time on that). So I would be stuck with the same original problem and he would literally have to add a few lines in the program I have been working on. On top of that, I haven't been able to study nearly as much as I should have on my exam because of this project.

I snapped at him (probably too harshly) and told him that no, I wouldn't switch with him and that he should maybe try to do something on his own for once (this is where I believe I may have been the asshole). He got angry and hasn't spoken to me since.

So AITA ? ######

Response: ESH you should have not snapped but calmly explained why you are not swapping again. Your brother should have not asked. He knows very well that he is making life easier for himself by swapping again. ######


Prompt: So my friend wanted to buy a Switch and I told her if she found an extra to lmk and I'd give her the money. She said she found someone through letgo and basically was saying how friendly the guy was and he was sending her pictures and he was trying to get rid of them etc etc. When I told her how much was he asking you she said the price that he paid for because he was trying to get rid of them, when I was telling her how is she paying because he was located about two hours away from us she told me that he was going to be shipping it overnight and he would take cash app or venmo and I was telling her that she should really just do PayPal goods and services in case of anything and I kept telling her this over and over but she was adamant about venmo so I gave her the money and she paid for the guys to switches and then he ghosted her. Would I be the asshole if I made her give me my $325 because she didn't listen to me and got screwed over because of it? ######

Response: ESH You repeatedly warned her against it and she did it anyway. Obviously you should make her pay it back. HOWEVER if you knew it was a scam why on Gods green earth did you give her the money?? ######


Prompt:
When my husband and I got married last year, we threw the wedding together quickly to coincide with another event. As the date approached, we realized that we never planned a honeymoon. We met while traveling and thought it would be insane to not take a honeymoon, but we weren't financially prepared and put the whole thing on my credit card. We had never funded a trip on credit, but it was totally worth it so I didn't mind. While I paid off my card, he took over the bills,/groceries except for my half of the rent(this wasnt a conversation, just happened automatically because all my money had to pay off what we owed). We have a tradition of taking a trip every year for new years, which end up being another $6,000+. I had gotten so close to paying off the honeymoon, and dug myself right back into a hole. Every paycheck, I would dump nearly the entire thing into my debt. He had a family emergency in February, and I paid for us to fly out to be with them. Recently I finally paid off all the debt, and I am so excited to actually have money in the bank. He's been paying about $700/month in the past 10 months toward our bills, while I've paid back over $15,000 in that time for the trips we took. WIBTA if I expected him to keep paying the bills so I can finally save some money? We have never cared at all who pays for what. We definitely dont bother with 50/50, but I have been paying so much more for so long, I just feel like it might be my turn to catch a break.

(I don't know his opinion yet, as I can't decide if I'm being ridiculous and selfish or not, so I haven't brought it up.) ######

Response: ESH why are you guys going on vacations you can't afford and then complain about the financial burden of it afterwards? How about you both sit down and talk about your finances and stop living above your means. ######


Prompt:
I live in an eight-unit apartment building for the last year. It's quiet. except for this woman who lives above me. I work early mornings so I go to bed at 8PM. All late night long she's slamming cupboards, doors, moving shit, etc. all night long. This is LOUD. I did mention it to her and suggested that if she needs to slam things then maybe get some felt coverings attached to her doors/cupboards. She said next time she would be quieter. Then it goes back to banging, slamming, etc. I have no idea what she's doing late at night and don't care. I do wear earplugs and use a noise machine.

She keeps on doing it so I set my alarm at 3AM and went to her door and knocked on it. She was mad as Hell. I apologized and told her that I would be quieter next time I wake her up early in the morning the same way she said she would be quieter the next time she wakes me up late at night.

EDIT: It's not like she ends her slamming binge at 9PM. I am awoken to a door slamming, something heavy dropped on the floor, a cupboard slammed, etc. at 11PM, 12:30AM, 1:45AM. I assume she goes to bed around 2AM because that's when it's silent and by then I have to leave for work in an hour. So I get ready and knock on her door. ######

Response: ESH she was being obnoxious with loud noises but you deliberately went out of your way to wake her up. ######