Prompt:
I've been married to my wife for about 3 months now, and we had her out first serious argument when I got angry with her for calling her mom to take her somewhere while I'm home and not doing anything. She always does things like this. Calling her parents for rides or help instead of me. My friends tell me that I should be happy, but I'm not. It's ridiculous in my opinion. We're married, we live together. ASK me before you ask your damn parents like you still live with them or something.

I work during the day and she works during the night. Why not ask me to pick you up from work? Why not ask me to take you places even if I'm not going there with you? We've never even been grocery shopping together because she always asks her dad to take her. Like wtf? What's the point of being married or living together at that at? When I tried to talk to her about it she lashes out at me telling me basically the same thing my friends did, that I should be happy that she doesn't bother me for favors or anything.

But that's the fucking problem. Why are you even referring to asking your husband for something as a fucking favor?  It's not even just giving rides. It's a variety of things in general. She gets her dad to cut our grass (I'm a grown ass man, why do you think I want your damn dad cutting our grass, for free at that?), she gets her mom to pick up things like medicine and drop it off, she'll drop our dog off at her parents so they can watch him even if I'm home. The list goes on. I'm not that macho man super masculinity type, but holy shit it's degrading.

Am I the asshole here and I should be happy? ######

Response:
 NTA

Unless this is a sixth sense situation where you died but haven't realized it yet. ######


Prompt:
So this happened before lockdown... normally I hate giving wait staff a hard time because I get that their jobs hard...

So I went to dinner at a tgis with my boyfriend. We ordered starters, mains and drinks all at the same time. Starters and drinks came and it was fine. But slowly we ran out of drinks and we were in a bit of a back corner and no one was coming over...

We just kind of waited for our food but it got to about 40 minutes since we’d had our starters so we tried flagging down a waitress which took another 20 minutes and asked about our food... she was polite, apologised and left to find out about our food.

She didn’t come back... 10 minutes later we asked another waitress, same thing, she apologised then didn’t come back to speak to us... 3rd time we asked a waitress and the same thing happened again.

I was mad at this point and so we left just enough to cover the drinks and starters on the table and started to walk out... a waitress came running at us saying we can’t leave as we hadn’t paid yet. We told her that there was money on the table and she told us we had to pay for the whole meal (which we hadn’t received yet). She called the manager out and as she did this our food finally came out... about 2 hours after our starter.

We got mad as hell picked up the money on the table, gave the manager a chewing out and wrote a letter to corporate....

It’s not that they forgot about us, it’s the fact that we asked for help and they completely ignored us....

So AITA for walking out on the bill? ######

Response:
 NTA

Two hours?? Even if they were absolutely swamped then it shouldn't take two hours for a TGI's to serve a couple of mains. ######


Prompt:
I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy. I have many issues I need to sort out. This pleased my sister (24F) cos she's been to therapy and talked about so many benefits to it.

So I have many issues I want to sort out. But I want two distinct factors in my therapist:

1) I want a male therapist

2) I want an older male, someone over 50

This is because one of my issues I want to sort is my own issues with my masculinity - what it means to be a man in today's world. I also have "daddy issues" that I need to sort and would feel more comfortable with an older male, rather than someone my own age.

Anyway when I said this my sister said I was an AH and sexist. However she specifically sought out a female therapist so idk why she is having these double standards. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Time to stop sharing those thoughts with your sis.

Once you've worked through some things, your therapist's gender probably won't matter much anymore. But at this time, before therapy, it matters. And that's okay. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 23, graduated from college 3 years ago and works retail for minimum wage. She has a BA in international relations, but says she can't find a higher paying job or a career job. She has never paid a bill or rent in her life, I have taken care of everything for her from college, to bills, to her car, vacations etc. Only thing she pays for now is her phone bill and her expenses (I cleared a 3k CC bill for her as a grad gift 2 years ago). She lives with us and my wife and I provide all food etc.

She doesn't seem motivated to find at all to better her life, I told her to go back to college, or get her masters or something. She just says that all of her friends are in the same position she's in and she knows no one born her year ('96) that has a decent job. I find this very hard to believe that all of her friends are like this and none of them have a good job. Her brother who is graduating this June has a job paying 85k a year lined up, he has a BA in business and he even got his own apartment. I tell her that you and your brother both have BA's, how's he doing better than you already? She doesn't have an answer.

I told her that when the pandemic is over I want her to either go back to school, put in effort to find a better job or start paying bills. I told her she can live with us still but I want $500 a month for rent and groceries. I did this to light a fire under her hopefully.

She called me a huge asshole and a bad father because apparently I don't understand how hard it is to find a job that pays her at least 45k a year and is a career type job.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Though I do want to say, it is a difficult time out there right now. I have no trouble believing that your daughter and her friends are struggling to find decent jobs. So while I don't agree that you're TA, I think you should try and be understanding of her situation and not compare her to her brother.

But, your daughter is working and earning her own money. My parents did something similar when I was around that age. She's plenty old enough to contribute to the household. What you're asking for doesn't seem completely unreasonable to me. ######


Prompt:
So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.

I practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises/cuts/injuries, people tend to ask about them.

I was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied "well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!" (it got cancelled of course).

Well another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).

Well HR suspended me for the rest of the day, "investigated" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.

I instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a "hostile work environment" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.

I have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######

Response:
 NTA

This woman sounds like an absolute pest. I'd contact HR myself and say you think she has it out for you.

I've never been "friends" with any of my coworkers (well, maybe like 2, over a course of 10 years). I come in, do a job, then go home. No need to talk to her if you are not cooperating on a project. ######


Prompt:
This isn't dramatic, or too serious.

We're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now.

&#x200B;

My son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.

My son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money.

My husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.

But my thoughts are,  my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts.  I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This was an EXCELLENT parenting move and lesson teacher.

Thank you! ######


Prompt:
We've been married for 4 years (me:24F and 25M)
We have 2 kids 8M and 2F, since I got pregnant with our lil girl I had so many health issues I had to quit my job, so I kinda lost all my." Social life"
Every since we got together I never went out o just hang out with friends anymore, there was always an excuse, he likes to play soccer once in a while with his friends, and I was fine with it. He has his circle of friends and play computers games on a daily basis  with his friends online.

Two days ago I mentioned I wanted to go to a party when my 2 year old kid can stay with her grandma or with him ( she is breastfeeding still), he said no right away, he said I was not going to be able to go out if it wasn't with him, and that I don't have the need to be making any other friends if I have him, (FYI I don't drink or smoke, so going out is just to dance, music and get to know ppl), and that "there's NO WAY I will ever go out alone to a party, maybe a gym"

So today he says his friend invited him to play soccer on Wednesday and I said no, I'm not going to be taking care of the kids when I can't even go out on my own because you forbid it, he said "don't expect me to love you after this.
AITA  here? Really? ######

Response:
 NTA

This sounds so far into the controlling and abusive behaviour it is hard to believe this is exactly how things went down. If it is, you need to get into some counseling immediately and/or considering terminating the relationship as it is not healthy at all.

I hope it isn't true, but that might just be wishful thinking. ######


Prompt:
So a bit of context.
I’ve been begging my husband to let me buy a car since he’s been driving me literally everywhere for over 2 years because he doesn’t want to spend money on a car or insurance. He ended up telling me no again because we need to continue putting money into our savings. I got pretty upset seeing as we have $16000 in our savings already and I just want a used car to drive myself to work.
He saw how upset I was and decided to build me my own computer so we could play video games together. I told him once a while ago that I really don’t want a computer and would rather put the $1000 towards a car. But then he started showing me different video games and won’t stop talking about it and I don’t have the heart to tell him I actually have no interest in playing any video games since they kind of bore me. Now it’s annoying the hell out of me because he’s asking me what kind of mouse and keyboard I want and complains when I tell him “I like how this one looks” because “that’s a shitty one” “that’s not a gaming keyboard” and I sort of lost it and yelled and told him “buy me whatever, I really don’t care about this at all!” And he said it hurt his feelings so I apologized and kind of lied and told him how excited I am to have a computer. Not only that but he decided to spend another $100 on wood and materials to build our computer desk. We also need to buy another chair and headset for me. At this point, I feel like if I tell him that not only do I not care about video games, but that this is all a huge waste of money to me, he would be extremely upset and I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Should I just try to get into video games for him or should I tell him the truth? ######

Response:
 NTA

This seemed like it was full of red flags for financial abuse, so I checked your post and comment history. My friend, you are absolutely in an abusive relationship. Your therapist is right. Not only is he controlling you financially, he's manipulating you emotionally, limiting where you can go/who you can see, and he *has been physically violent.* You are *not* the asshole for not wanting his pretend present here. You need to get out and I sincerely hope you take these comments to heart. *You are being abused.* ######


Prompt:
Excuse my English, it is not my first language.

1 year ago my sister became vegan overnight after watching a documentary called Dominion, she quickly started making changes to our home, from making our parents change salad dressings, to have her own pans and a lot of stuff that personally bothered me.

What I did next I know I was the asshole, and  I am not asking about this part but it is important for context. I told my sister, that her whole vegan thing was bothering everyone in the house and from now on I was going to make sure it didn't even help animals, so I said to her "for every animal you don't eat I am going to eat three, so you being vegan is a net negative for animal welfare". So I switched overnight to a extremely meat heavy diet.

Well I didn't expect it but I feel much better eating this way, I have more energy, my skin cleared up, I have no brain fog, I actually feel amazing. My sister came crying to me the other day to stop eating the way I do and to "grow up" and eat like a normal person. I told her that no, I would keep eating the way I like to eat and I was sorry I started my new diet for a wrong reason (to piss her off) but now I mantain this diet because I like it and I feel better following it. She called me inmature and my parents are siding with her, so am I the asshole for not budging to my sister demands to change my diet? ######

Response:
 NTA

This might be an unpopular opinion but it’s your diet and no one should have control over it except yourself or a doctor (but only for health reasons not personal beliefs). You were petty do start your diet for that reason but she can’t demand you change it especially if you feel healthier now than you did before ######


Prompt:
Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old.

The problems:
-the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours.

-I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore.

-he lied to me. A lot.

-he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up.

-he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for.

-I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me.

So we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######

Response:
 NTA

This man is not a husband or a father. He is sperm donor who happens to live under the same roof as you.

Drag this man to couple's counseling ASAP. Or don't. You might just want to save yourself the time and file for divorce. ######


Prompt:
In December 2019, my therapist recommended I take an appointment with my doctor to be prescribed antidepressants due to how I was feeling at the time. Now, back then I was 17 so I couldn't make an appointment at my doctor's without my parents knowing. When I mentioned to my parents what the therapist recommended they didn't agree to this and told me they didn't want me taking meds. According to them, I didn't need them.

Skip to about mid-February 2020, I'm now 18 and still feeling the same due to my constant anxiety and depression. I said to myself "fuck this, I wanna get better and do what my therapist recommended". So I phone my doctor, telling my parents I wanna renew my skin treatment prescription (I actually did need one and got one at the same time of getting a prescription for my antidepressants). They give me the money and I have my medical insurance card (I live in a country where doctor appointments are mostly reimbursed by the state) and then head to get my prescription. The doctor prescribed me sertraline and I started taking 25mg of it every day for about a month and a half.

Skip to a few weeks ago where my parents found out about it during an argument I had with them. They found out and are pissed at my doctor and my therapist for not telling them I was taking antidepressants. I am considered an adult by both my therapist and doctor. I believe it's their right to not tell my parents considering I'm old enough to make my own decisions.  The sertraline was paid for by the state so my parents weren't paying for it. They believe that I disobeyed them and that I'll have to change both doctor and therapist because they both broke that trust that my parents put in them to take care of me.

I hope this all makes sense and that it's all well written. So, AITA for not telling my parents I was taking antidepressants for a month and a half? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is your private medical business as you are an adult. You're allowed privacy, and since your parents aren't even paying for it, it's really none of their business. Your doctors aren't making crazy or irresponsible decisions here. ######


Prompt:
I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.

My mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.

I usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.

I’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.

Amber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.

I can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.

My mother is  extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.

WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is your living environment as well, you have every right to be where you're comfortable and able to thrive in an individual basis. ######


Prompt:
Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner  I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol

B:The food is great

BB: thanks I even made cake

B: yes I love your cakes

Me: I do too

BB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me

Silence....

I looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is such a huge violation. You know that. He didn't just share it without your permission, he shared it with someone who was then cruel about it. I am sorry your boyfriend did this to you. ######


Prompt:
My wife is a klutz, and she completely misses things that are so blatantly obvious to me that it's driving me crazy. Things like leaving glasses of liquid within reach of our one-year-old who, assuming this isn't normal, is obsessed with getting into anything and everything she shouldn't get into. My wife leaves her $800 phone sitting on the couch and then complains for days when she can't find it after the baby stashed it somewhere. I am aware that she likely has adult onset ADD.

She frequently sets full cups of liquid on the center console on my car, only to act so surprised when it spills when I make a turn, or she gives non-sealed drinks to the baby in my car and can't understand why I expected her to anticipate the obvious outcome. This is a problem I've witnessed for eight years of knowing her, and I thought she'd outgrow it, but she hasn't.

Last weekend she decided to take my $1000 laptop, which I use for work, and let my niece have a zoom call with her preschool class. That's fine I guess, but it's the fact that she left it on a night stand where my one year old could reach it and push it onto the floor, snapping the power cord off inside, that bothers me. She walked away from an expensive item, knowing it was within reach of our destructive child, and does not think I am entitled to be as angry as I am at her. She blames everyone else, even my five-year-old niece somehow. Most of all she's now mad at me for yelling at her in front of my family (where we happened to be when I discovered it was broken.) I think I'm entitled to be mad because, as an adult, I expect her to anticipate things like this and prevent them from happening, but she never does. Am I the ass hole? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is not an ADD or ADHD issue.  I am not saying your wife doesn't have ADD/ADHD, it is possible that she does.

However, if this is repetitive behavior it means your wife lacks common sense and is generally careless.  Your wife's actions are saying she can't be bothered to be responsible or think ahead.

I am an adult and have ADD, I am very easily distracted.  I feel bad for my friends and family because I can derail a conversation faster than a nascar crash.  My best friend says she enjoys watching me in action, because I have no pattern to follow or interpret.  So, it's always a surprise how things will end up.  And I do genuinely struggle with completing tasks, because I do get distracted and end up exhausted.  It has taken me years (if not decades) to master basic routines that should be easily acquired.  Like laundry or keeping the kitchen clean while preparing a meal.  Reading a book takes me forever, because my mind will wander and it is a struggle to get it back on track.

With that said.  I am not careless and I do feel like I possess decent common sense.  As in, we simply don't have drinks in our cars that don't have a lid on them.  This applies to children and adults.  And because I don't want to burden myself or anyone else with having to clean up a sticky mess, we usually only allow water in the cars.  And I would never hand over an expensive electronic device to a child, let alone walk off and leave them unattended with one either.  Both are just disasters waiting to happen.

Should you have yelled at your wife in front of your family?  Probably not.  But if this is a chronic problem for her, and she has yet to make any changes to her behavior, then it was bound to happen at some point.  And it just so happened, this was that moment. ######


Prompt:
My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have "plans tomorrow" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me.

They are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors  they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship.

I apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######

Response:
 NTA

This is how adult toddlers act when they dont get their way. Professional  tools are not to be used by people who do noot respect them.

Not letting someone have their way is not disrespectful nor is not letting your parent treat you like you are 5 and eating paste for your pastime. ######


Prompt: So my girlfriend was driving to my place and got pulled over by a cop for a traffic violation. She immediately calls me crying and tells me to come down to help with the situation. I try to calm her down and tell her that I'd be down there. By the time I arrive things aren't going well: she's sobbing and yelling at the cop (this was the first time something like this has happened to her). I decide it's best not to get directly involved, especially since the situation seemed pretty heated and tbh I'm not sure what I could do to help at that point. After the interaction is over, I go over to settle her down but she's furious blaming me and saying things like I live in a "stupid part of town with stupid driving rules" and that I was a "coward" for just watching it all happen. She says she can't trust me and that I wouldn't take a "bullet" for her... AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is how a normal person gets a ticket: step 1-try politeness/innocence (“I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I was going so fast.”) step 2: resignation “fine, just write the ticket already.”

They don’t 1) scream at the cop 2) sob and cry at the cop 3) take the time to call their bf while dealing with the cop 4) make this a big production that last so long! 5) expect someone to magically fix issue 6) refuse to rake any responsibility for themselves ######


Prompt:
I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back.

Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair.

Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media.

This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######

Response:
 NTA

This is hilarious. If it is unsolicited and they want to harass you, I feel this is a great response. ######


Prompt:
It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F  and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could.

My dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her.

I get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######

Response:
 NTA

This is a hard one, but seriously, what your mom is doing is wrong.

I wouldn't even worry about "what if she were to find out.". If you do manage to get some of your father's ashes, so what if she finds out?  It's not like she can ruin her relationship with you and your sister any more than she has already done. ######


Prompt:
I am (22F), he is (23) and we’ve been dating for 6 months. Quite a short story.

I’m a university student and work part time. I earn a decent amount but it’s not a shit ton so I don’t exactly have thousands in savings but I’m trying to save as much as I can just for my future. I don’t even tell my mother what I save because quite frankly it’s not a lot and that’s insanely personal info.

Idk how it came up but my boyfriend has been talking a lot about savings and has started demanding to know how much I have. I told him that it’s really none of his business as it’s my money and that you can’t just ask people how much money they have.

Well, I’ve pissed him off. He has called me a bitch and says that I don’t trust him and he’s rethinking our future. Idk if I am an AH and should just apologise.

Edit; idk if it’s relevant but I’ve mentioned some of his recent behaviour in comments. He has started telling me who I can and can’t hang out with, he accused me of cheating when I went to see my brother for the first tine in months due to him having health issues. He is also messaging me a lot and he’s taking up a lot of my time. He is getting insanely protective over me and doesn’t even like it when I try to do my own thing.

Edit 2: Um okay he’s turned up at my dads house ranting and raving calling me a bitch and a whore and he appears to be armed with something. I think a lot of you are right. My dad isn’t home right now and I’m really scared.

Edit 3: my dad came home thank god and we’re waiting for the police to come

Edit 4; the police have just come and he’s been arrested!

Edit 5; I now realise I was being abused thanks to you all and mostly my dad who is currently having a long talk to me about my relationship and how I wasn’t to blame for anything ######

Response:
 NTA

This dude is a giant, man-shaped red flag. You don't live together, you've not been dating long, and you're not saving for anything that involves him. This isn't his business and he knows it. His BS gaslighty response should tell you all you need to know about what life with him will be like. ######


Prompt:
Thanks to the quarantine my boyfriend is now working his consulting job from home full time. I am currently completing my teaching degree which  consisted of me being placed in a classroom with high schoolers for 20hrs/week and also working a part time job 20hrs/week. Now, with schools being shut down all of my classes have been moved online. I am still working my “essential” job 20hrs per week out of the house but otherwise I am home with him while he’s working.

Our apartment is only ~650 sq ft. Which means his desk is in the middle of our kitchen/living room area. He is on conference calls every morning usually ranging from 1 hour to 2 hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

During these meetings he says running our kitchen sink or using the maker coffee is too loud and I should be prohibited from doing them...

He says that if he’s talking during the meeting that the mic picks up the noises and is too distracting. On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying.

He thinks it is disrespectful of me to make noise during his conference calls when he has asked me several times not to do so. I think it is disrespectful for him to demand I not do normal daily activities in my own home.

Also, when he is working (in a meeting or not) I never watch tv, listen to music, or talk but I will do things like make food, or coffee, or run the damn sink. His coworkers have commented that he must not have children, because his calls are so quiet.. so I feel like I’m okay to do these things as long as it isn’t excessive. He thinks I shouldn’t do them period.

So reddit, AITA for making noise while my boyfriend is in conference calls for work? ######

Response:
 NTA

This doesn't make any sense, does he work in a noise-proof office at work??  I doubt his coworkers are completely silent all the time.

> On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying.

Then he needs to turn the volume up or get better headphones.  It's unreasonable to expect people to be 100% quiet for hours on end in their own home. ######


Prompt:
So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment.

1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted
2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system.

Because I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.

Now I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######

Response:
 NTA

They've been caught. They are going to have to wear it. They never suggested to you that you not include him and, from the sound of it, you're paying for everything for him. ######


Prompt: I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

They've already skipped on you multiple times, you don't have to be loyal to someone messing you around ######


Prompt:
I live in a shared house. When I'd buy groceries they would magically disapear or whenever I would cook my (older female) roomie would ask me to share.

Neither of us like cooking or doing dishes. I agreed to cook if she would wash the
 dishes. She never washed the dishes.

So I've been ordering doordash like 3x a week. My housemate sits in the living room watching tv 24-7. I have to go through the living room to get to the front door. Everytime I get food she asks what I ordered. (If I have left overs I share.)

Recently my aunt said I am rude for ordering food and not offering to buy the women some. (Honestly, it seems like my aunt is always trying to start petty fights with me.) Am I obligated to buy my housemate food?

AITA for not wanting to buy her food? ######

Response:
 NTA

They're your roommates, not your children. ######


Prompt:
To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it.

In contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor.

whenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later.

Am I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######

Response:
 NTA

They're acting kind of bratty towards you, do you think there could be some jealousy? Siblings have a tendency to have one designated sibling to collectively hate on.

Money solves a ton of problems, and can at least help with almost all of them. However, making good money doesn't make you immune to life's troubles. What happens if you lose a chunk of income, and your husband loses his job?

Sorry your siblings are dismissing you for doing good in life. Don't feel bad for earning money. ######


Prompt:
 My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile.

After talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on.

My sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank.

They both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room.

None of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous.

As for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well.

If they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ######

Response:
 NTA

They'd be imposing greatly, you know it, they know it. Their idea of moving everybody's rooms around, having everybody living on top of each other, and taking away your whole family's sense of privacy isn't a realistic solution.

It sounds like you do NOT have the space for them, so the RV would be much better. If that doesn't appeal to them, due to pride or laziness, that's their problem.

They sound like r/choosingbeggars ######


Prompt:
Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,

Alright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke.

Once I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well.

Well, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside”

Back when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here”

So now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out”

Entirely logical in my opinion.

TL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######

Response:
 NTA

They were wrong to essentially kill your rabbit

They were wrong to demand you put your pets out of your home ######


Prompt:
Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them.

The reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match.

Of course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc.

When I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding.

Some friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.

Edit: Clarity ######

Response:
 NTA

They need to grow the fuck up.

It’s their behavior that put you in the position of having to exclude them.

That being said — you’re moving into a new stage of life that requires even more maturity. Don’t feel guilty if they just get left behind overall. ######


Prompt:
My mom and sister have had plans to do stuff this weekend out of town for a while but did not tell me till yesterday. This is fine, they are adults, but they also told me that I would need to watch my twelve and thirteen year old nieces til Monday. I do not get along with my nieces, they feel that they don't need to listen to anyone, not even their mother. I don't need the drama of these girls as I am just starting new meds for my anxiety and bipolar and don't know how they will effect my temperment yet. My mom and sister were not happy that I had told them I would not be watching the girls.

AITAH for not being willing to watch my nieces for the weekend? ######

Response:
 NTA

They just want to dump two kids on you for a weekend? Yeah, no. ######


Prompt:
So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing).
Two years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that.

Cut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony.

Now three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

They get all upset about it but didn't invite you to things when you were younger? They are hypocrites don't let them get to you. ######


Prompt:
**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable.

When I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was "a holiday". This "holiday" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying "This IS your home".

This set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice & easy to painful & hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there.

So my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked "Why not?". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life.

(FUN FACT: They knew about all this)

They were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said "only for a couple of days." If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there.

They didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude.

Was I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth?

Btw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ######

Response:
 NTA

They disrupted your education without any kind of planning.

No wonder your memories are negative. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short.
I befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally.
I sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened:
1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad.
2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car.
3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick.
4. Started talking bad about my relationship
5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah.

I stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis.

I felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work.
The next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly.
I told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email.

I felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ######

Response:
 NTA

They didn't take your complaint seriously, if you didn't report it he could've done worst things. What an awful job I'm sorry you had to deal with those pricks. You need to be able to feel comfortable and safe at work not watch your back to see if your co-worker is gonna try to make a move. ######


Prompt:
Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone.

Fast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL/SIL are not available/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months.

Because of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable.

AITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######

Response:
 NTA

They can celebrate Zack's birthday whenever they want.  And they can even miss your son's birthday to do so.  They are the assholes for saying you are being difficult and unreasonable for celebrating your son's birthday on the day of. ######


Prompt:
So last week I quit my job (I got an amazing offer from an amazing company).

My almost-former boss asked why and I told her (via email due to COVID) the complete truth: microagressions, lack of diversity (or interest in bring more in), nepotism, exclusion and subtle racism, homophobia, and sexism. I copied her bosses and sent a diversity plan to them.

I listed examples and pasted links for how to deal with and recognize microagressions. I listed out examples of what I’ve experienced and made suggestions on how they can correct it.

This was last Friday - on my day off. They have yet to reply. ######

Response:
 NTA

They asked and you answered. You were under no obligation to let them know why, so it’s no fault of your own if they’re upset at the reason why you quit. If they don’t respond, just move on and focus on your new job. Congratulations on your new job! ######


Prompt:
I am one of three siblings. None of us are particularly well off. My parents (early 60s) are reasonably comfortable middle-class. All three siblings have kids. My parents have spent thousands on my two sisters to help them make ends meet for most of their adult lives. I have accepted help from my parents on occasion, but nowhere near the scale of either of my siblings. I've also been left dry when I really needed help, because of them needing it first. Ex, my college fund was spent housing my oldest sis, when I needed help replacing a vehicle that died on me, they couldn't help because they were providing in full for my younger sister. In truth, they've leeched off our parents as much as they could get away with.

Because of this, my folks have decided to leave me a larger share of their estate when they pass, and are firm that they would prefer I don't use mine to do for my sisters. She hasn't given an exact figure but it's going to be around half, with the other half split between my sisters and some of it set aside for their kids (my kids are included in my end). It depends I guess on the span between one parent and the other passing but it's potentially over 250k. I feel funny about it already, but mom's got me on paper as the executor and has started expressing to me what items she wants to go where. I told her I'd honor her wishes, but she needed to make a will because being executor and getting a larger share is going to cause so much tension between all of us. She didn't seem upset, but has since changed the subject abruptly whenever I bring it up. ######

Response:
 NTA

They absolutely need a will.  If they don't have one, then you being executor doesn't mean much, because you'd be legally bound to distribute their estate according to your jurisdiction's intestacy laws (i.e. laws that govern how an estate's assets must be distributed in the absence of a will).

So if they want you to have half of their estate when they die, and they don't have a will that says that, then you're not allowed to give yourself half as executor.  If you try to take half, your siblings can sue you to force the legally-required division of assets, and they'll win.

You may want to ask for guidance over at /r/legaladvice ######


Prompt:
I (M21) was recently given a set of wireless ear buds, the type that hang over the ear. A coworker that im close with gave them to me as a gift since he didnt like/use them. These are expensive ones that he was otherwise going to sell online if i didnt want them.

The problem is this. Upon coming home and telling my mother about it and how nice it was for him to gift them to me, she asked, which then became practically begging me to give them to her after i had initially said no. She had gone on to say that she never got to have nice headphones/listenjling apparatus and how she had gotten me nice things in the past.

I didnt really want to give them up, but i also felt guilty about keeping something nice from her. She's someone who's worked very hard to give me a good upbringing and right now we're both working to pay for expenses between the two of us. But I also refrain from buying anything unnecessary because i know we're short on money, while she's usually buying new clothes and shoes now and again.

WIBTA for not wanting to give up an expensive gift? ######

Response:
 NTA

These are yours. Your mom does not deserve them, no matter how much she guilts you about it. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.

My sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine.

Today my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.

After dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.

I told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

There’s a difference between being considerate and catering to unreasonable demands. Your sister should work on understanding that. ######


Prompt:
So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly.

It’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary.

Anyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ######

Response:
 NTA

There's no benefit to you to pay for your sister's car and then trade it for your brother's car that you don't want.  So, don't do it.  Your brother can go buy his own car.

The fact that you even have to ask this question makes me think your brother is probably a bully.  You don't ever have to do anything he wants. ######


Prompt:
Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain

Okay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.

I have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.

So for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.

I am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??

So reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?

Edit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######

Response:
 NTA

There's absolutely no good reason for him to have done this. I would he furious, especially at my bulbs being torn up.

I'd not only complain, but expect compensation for new plants and or the vegetables I would have gotten from them. ######


Prompt:
Recently we found out some information about my brother in law’s baby momma. The pair is separated, but not divorced, and share custody of their children. My husband’s sister told us that his brother’s baby mama showed up at her house driving drunk, with the children in the car. This woman and his brother have three children together, all under the age of 12. One of the children (6) had also told her that their mom had let them go swimming that day and talked about how she had helped her little sister (4) back onto the steps when she fell off. His sister said that it was none of her business and that she was not going to tell their brother.

Of course, later that night I pressed the issue with my husband. He was extremely uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him that I love those children and that I couldn’t not bear the thought of anything happening to them and that he needed to tell his brother about the incident. Finally, after pressing the issue until the next morning he sent a text to his brother explaining what he had heard.

 A few nights ago we also learned that the baby mama had been involuntarily admitted into the hospital for mental health reasons. She told my husband’s brother that she couldn’t pick up the kids because she was “sick”. No one in the family wants to tell him the real reason because it is “not my business”.

I went off on my husband about this. I feel that no one is taking the safety of these kids seriously. I understand that not all mentally ill people are at risk of harming their children, but the father of the children definitely has a right to know. I also don’t understand why his whole family (his sister, his brother, and his mother) are keeping this from him. I told my husband that it is his business if he cares about his nieces and nephews. He told me to not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. He refuses to tell his brother about what has happened. I have told him that if he doesn’t, then I will.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

There is never an excuse to leave a kid in a potentially dangerous home. Ever. Even if it’s “none of their business”.

Again like you said, she may not be a danger to her kids, and I would say that she shouldn’t have them taken away right now. Especially because it seems like she might be getting some help.

But the father NEEDS to know. If it were her family that didn’t want to tell him, I’d understand more, but it’s HIS family? Oh my lord. You’re definitely not in the wrong here from what I can tell.

Honestly, if I was in your shoes, I’d try to find a way to tell him, and just not tell anyone that you’re the one who told him. And Id make it be explicitly clear to him that his family all know and don’t want him to know. Because that’s just ridiculous. But obviously that’s just me lol.

His kids need to be taken care of properly, and even if the mother is getting help/starts getting help, it’s important that he knows and understands what is going on. If only so that he can help her manage the kids at times when she can’t take them. But also so he can be on the lookout for warning signs.

Edit: I somehow missed the part where you said you told your husband that you would tell him if he didn’t. Good for you! Thank you for caring about those children. I hope it all works out for you all and not too many bridges are burned. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I are both 26. We’ve been together for nearly 3 years and we have a 2 year old son together. He had a 6 year old son from a prior relationship. When we first got together I made it very clear that my immediate role is not to assume the position of being a step mom. He’d often push this on me and have his son call me step mom...this happened for a few months and then I nipped it in the bud. I made it clear that I will continue to be a role model in his life, also it’s not like his actual mom isn’t in the picture.

My boyfriend has always talked about how much he misses his son and I would tell him to start working like you love him. Make efforts to get some type of rights because the mother only “allows” phone calls/ video chats which are often limited. When it has come time to buy him things that he needs, I have been there to provide birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, and basic necessities and would say it’s from me AND him. And I did this before having our own child together. Now fast forward to yesterday, he finally calls a lawyer and asked me to drop half this Friday to get started. I’m all for support, but AITA for feeling some type of way? He told me during the dating stage that his relationship with his son and the mother were great...but once we made it official it was another story (He also cheated on me with her, still no clarity on what actually happened, but something did). Like I get the fact that he wants his child, but why must I pay?? Is this the norm for couples who have had children prior?

Instead of buying all this beer and that XBOX, he could have paid it in full on his own. He said he’d pay me back, but I still had to tell him how I felt. ######

Response:
 NTA

There are some serious 🚩🚩🚩 here.

No, it is not your duty to pay half of the legal fees here. He doesn't sound like the most responsible person, and he has not been the best partner to you. ######


Prompt:
So this happened about a month ago, but I’m still wondering if I was in the wrong here. Throwaway.

So I (22M) was bullied a lot growing up, all the way through high school, both verbally and physically. Some of the most common things I was called were things like “fag”, “faggot”, “homo”, “queer”, and I was often times beaten up in conjunction with that. When I finally got into my teen years and started to question myself, thought I might be bi,  a lot of the trauma caused internalized homophobia and made it really hard on me but in the last year or so I’ve really come to terms and started to accept who I am.

So I was using Tinder the other night, just swiping through a lot of people without paying attention. One of the people I matched with messaged me. Seeing his name and photo again I did a double take and then realized it was one the kids who used to bully me and use a lot of those same slurs, and was surprised to know he was actually gay. I asked him if he remembered me, he said yeah and I told him about what he did in the past and asked if he remembers that as well. He said it really doesn’t matter, it was a long time ago and that I should just forget about it. I told him to go fuck himself, and that I hope he never fully accepts himself like I eventually did.

I told my brother about it, and he said it was a long time ago and that while he understands my anger people do change. I get that, but did he really though? He didn’t apologize, and just pretends like it never happened. AITA for what I said? ######

Response:
 NTA

There are plenty of self hating people, even more so in the gay community when they're young.

They lash out as a result.

The sheer fact that he remember what he did, is gay now, and had no interest in apologizing means he is just a shit person. He doesn't feel remotely bad about the harmful hippocrite he was/is. ######


Prompt:
So I have this friend that is on the more overweight side of the scale. I do not hold it against her and she can be super fun to be around, but recently she has just been talking about her weight and made the people around her feel uncomfortable about their weight. Some examples are:

We would be going shopping (pre covid-19) and I would try on a cute outfit and ask her for her opinion and she would say something like "Do you have to try it out in front of me you know how I feel about my body and you are super skinny (which btw is a lie I am a size 3-4)"

We would go out and me and the others would grab burgers with fries and she would complain about how it is unfair that we eat that type of food in front of her when we know she is on a "diet" (she had been "dieting" since she was kid).

Another time she got mad that I wanted to lose weight after we just had a holiday and I had gained a few pound. SHe told me that what I was doing was bad for me and that it is disrespectful to lose weight, when she couldn't. Which btw is not true, she claims her body is not capable to lose weight, which I call bs because i have seen her lose weight before she is just too lazy to actually commit to a proper diet and exercise.

Now to the actual part about what happened that made me lose my sh\*t. Since there is the whole Covid-19 situation and my friend lives with me and we are stuck together. I don't mind it too much since she is still ok, but she got mad at me for exercising in my home in front of her. I was also watching tv and eating chips and she felt offended. She kept on whining and whining about her body and her being overweight and how she is insecure. I then just snapped and told her to lose weight and commit to a diet or shut up"

AITA for saying that or should I just have ignored it. SHe is in her room right now and hasn't talked to me in a few days. My friends have mixed feelings about what happened some say I was in the right, others disagree. Reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

The world doesn't revolve around her. Your group deciding what they want to eat has nothing to do with her. You trying on clothes for yourself has nothing to do with her. Exercising IN YOUR HOME in a SHARED SPACE also has nothing to do with her.

She should stop being a narcissist and realise that she isn't the only person in the whole world. ######


Prompt:
I'm 33 and I work in a pretty famous university. I'm considered pretty senior and I often interact with the admissions office.

All my siblings have gone to this school. And we've all gotten in with our grades and activities.

My parents had a pretty bad divorce and my siblings and I have subconsciously sided with my mother all these years.

My dad's son with his new wife is now 18 and applying to university.

My dad messaged me earlier in the year and asked if I could put in a good word for my half brother with the admissions office.

I'm not really close with my half brother and stepmom so I said I don't think I can do much. But I guess my dad thought I said I'd at least try.

I was actually contacted by a colleague about my half brother's application and apparently he was just shy of a percent for a grade cut-off. He asked me if I thought my half brother would be a good fit.

I responded back saying that I don't believe in nepotism and that he should be evaluated like any other student. And that I'm not close enough to him to give a proper reference.

I'm not sure if my colleague read into my tone but my half brother has since been rejected. I've had a few angry calls from my dad.

AITA for not helping my half brother out? ######

Response:
 NTA

The school had a requirement and he failed to meet said requirement. He doesn't deserve to get in because he happens to be somewhat related to someone with some influence. If he really wants to go to that school he can take summer classes or extracurriculars or whatever makes him actually qualified to get in. ######


Prompt:
I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with "fuck off"

Anyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John.

On the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.

They stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.

I don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like "I'm out guys, anyone coming with?"

But it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.

AITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ######

Response:
 NTA

The only two people who seem to be annoyed with you are the two assholes who stayed on the call with John, even though he was making you uncomfortable enough that you had to leave the call. So fuck them, they have crappy judgement anyway. ######


Prompt:
 My husband and I are childfree. We don’t want kids, have never wanted kids. I actually got my tubes tied 2 years ago. We’ve been married for the past 10 years, together a total of 12 years.

Before me, my husband had one serious relationship. I knew of her because they had broken up about 2 months before we got together. Never met her, but knew her name and heard of her, etc. About 6 months ago, she added my husband on FB and said they had a kid together. My husband had no idea and I do believe him because while he is childfree, he’s not the type to just skip out on responsibilities. He also told me right away. He asked for a DNA test and it was confirmed that yes, his ex’s daughter is biologically his. His ex said that she didn’t want anything from us, but the young girl wanted to know him.

The thing is, my husband doesn’t want to know her. He’s not the dad type. I think his ex knew and that’s why she didn’t tell him. He’s offered to pay child support going forward which I support, we can afford it. But I’m not going to force him to get to know his daughter. If he chose to, I’d support it but he doesn’t.

I guess in the meantime my ILs have gotten to know the girl, which I think is fine. My husband is okay with it too. However, they think he’s wrong for not seeing her and that I’m “enabling him”. To me, it’s his choice and it’s the right one. I talked to a friend. She and her husband are also childfree. She says that if she were in my shoes, she’d tell him to at least meet her. AITA for not encouraging a relationship with these two? ######

Response:
 NTA

The only AH is the ex for keeping the child a secret from the father for 12 years. ######


Prompt:
first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize.

a little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that.

so back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left.

few days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.

fyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already.

so i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######

Response:
 NTA

The love of your life died, and you mom's friend is trying to set you up with other women? No. That's not right. She was your one. No one can replace her, so no one should try. ######


Prompt:
Hi, this is my first post here.

I'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little.

They were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too.

Long story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could.

Now my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them.

Anyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her.

AITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######

Response:
 NTA

The LEGO blocks are yours and you were right to reclaim them.

8t sounds like your Mom had plans to sell them for the money. ######


Prompt:
I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother.

While I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.

I've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about "bastards wanting a payday" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta

The law was on your side.
You got what is rightfully yours.

The world needs more deadbeats being held accountable for their actions. So good for you!

I would be extra petty and call his wife out for slander/defamation. ######


Prompt:
My wife will sometimes bring her Mom over to my family's events, sometimes the more intimate ones like the Holidays, Mother/Father's Day, you get the idea with more intimate events like that. Sometimes I am told by her the day of or the night before that she has invited her Mom already without consulting with me. So when we'd go over to one of my siblings house they are surprised to see my MIL show up. After an event last year, one of my siblings called me to say that, they do love my MIL and enjoy her company, just if we can refrain from bringing her to the more intimate events so that it's just immediate family. However other events like my nieces/nephews birthdays, bbq, outdoor events are fine. In a sense I get what my siblings are saying, as sometimes I do just want immediate family at events, and this includes with my wife's family as well. I don't know if you all think that way as well. I spoke to my wife about this, about how we should just do more immediate family at those more intimate events and she went quiet, I also brought up how it would be the same situation with her family that I do just want immediate family at more intimate events. And she got upset that my siblings seem like that don't want her at family events even after they've said she's family. A side note here, in my culture, it's polite to say to guest or non-immediate family that they are invited and always welcome, but typically speaking it's just courtesy. My wife took it to heart as we are her mom's only immediate family in town as her brother does not live in the same city as her mom. The next morning she was upset with me as well for not taking her side or defending her for bringing her Mom to those events. It's just a cause a small friction between my wife and siblings. So Reddit, a
AITA for not defending my wife? ######

Response:
 NTA

The hosts can invite whoever they like to their events. Its understandable your wife would want to include her mother seeing as she seems to be the only family in town on her side, but hosts set the rules.

You two could always host and invite family from both your sides, or do separate events for each side of the family. There are compromises to be found here. ######


Prompt:
I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down.

In my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault.

I gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

The "I have a boyfriend"-line is the worst thing you can say to guys who don't get the hint. In their mind you are basically telling them "I would totally date you, if I wasn't taken" or "If you are better than my BF, you might have a chance".

So no, you did nothing wrong! ######


Prompt:
 Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.

I woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.

I went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.

Am I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######

Response:
 NTA

That’s hard. And I only say he’s an ass because he’s dismissing your worries and didn’t let you know when he realized you’d wake up without him. It’s hard to wake up like that and not know- I’ve been there. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway maybe future account

I am a 15 year old girl who has a mom. A few years ago my dad cheated and guess what we are divorced. Anyway my mom does not like me for having a relationship with my dad and expect me to hate him for cheating. Anyway a few weeks ago my mother adopted my sister who has the same exact name to me and gave her last name. So have the same exact names woo hoo.

Anyway today my mom was talking to her friend who is right next to her my mom got a brand new apartment so my friend mom asked for my sister but I thought she was asking about ME so I went in. She looked really confused. I then told her that my mom replaced me with a shiny new "toy" and that she pretends I don't exist. I am just stuck here because of a custody agreement.

My mom came out and so me and was immidietly  embarrassed.  Her friend asked about me and she called me a failure. At this point her friend stopped and told her that she was not fit to parent and that she does not want to be a friend with her. Anyway she left. At home my mom yelled at me for making her loose a friend and that she hates me now. I think I might have ruined my moms only friend ship  which might make me the bad girl ######

Response:
 NTA

That’s abuse...I would tell your dad and maybe live with him. ######


Prompt:
Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.

This woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.

So, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, "Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?" To which I replied, "Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high." She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm.

I came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

That's hysterical. At least her husband thought so!

No, it wasn't the most demure response, but the woman thought she could shame you, but instead you embarrassed her! She'll think twice before talking crap like that again to a perfect stranger. ######


Prompt:
I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything.

Now it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad.

Well tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know?

Boy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######

Response:
 NTA

That was your food!! And he took it, made himself food, made the whole place smell like eggs and bacon and hash browns (what are grits?) and now just reading this I want a plate too. And he left a mess. How inconsiderate!

Edit: I will definitely try grits in a variety of ways next time I'm in the southern US! ######


Prompt:
So with everything going on myself, my girlfriend and many others who have been laid off have been getting $2000 CAD every month. I’ve been saving mine but I recently found out my girlfriend has been giving this money to her parents.

We’re both students, and her parents (so far) have been paying her tuition for her. However she took the last semester off to do something else. During this time her parents took out a student loan in my gfs name, I thought this was strange since they were supposed to be the ones paying, why would they not just take out the loan in their own names..? Surely the rates would be better? But my gf seemed fine with it.

Turns out that none of that money has gone towards school though. Her parents had a previous loan used pay for house renovations, and they’ve been using my gfs student loan to pay that previous loan off. All the while my girlfriend has been using her $2000 unemployment money to pay off the student loan in her name, based on the idea that her mom will “pay her back later”.

So after everything, my girlfriend has essentially been handed over her parents debt, kept almost none of her unemployment money, and the student loan in her name never actually went towards school.

I told her her parents are either manipulating her or really really bad with money. She called me an asshole for being so distrusting of her parents. Does this not raise red flags for anyone else? Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA

That sounds like fraud, taking out a student loan in someone else's name, and using it for other purposes. Maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds extremely dodgy and like your girlfriend is going to be stuck paying off a major loan with interest and getting no benefit from it. ######


Prompt:
So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently.

She always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me.

I tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I "have to do it", because it's "part of a routine". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me.

Am I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ######

Response:
 NTA

That said, twelve year olds are insane and you'll want to think a lot about how you approach her to avoid her going crazy again and making a hassle ######