Prompt:
Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.

Pre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental & developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.

———

Due to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.

Her mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay.

Yesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.

When I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.

I ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired.

I left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. You’re feelings are valid and also deserve consideration. It’s shitty that your “friends” feel the need to coddle her, while doing to you what they’re asking you not to do to her. ######


Prompt:
I apologize for my English in advance.

Hi I am a 13 year old male who was born in south Korea and moved to Canada at 11 years old. I have been in Canada for coming on 2 years. Out of my family of 5 I am the worst at English. Today I had a video call doctors appointment for my health. With my English skills I could not tell the doctor about my health rightly. So I ask my sister who is 15 female to help me. She is way better at English then me and has the best English in the family. So whenever I could not say something the way I wanted I told her want I wanted to say in Korean. She helped me the hole time. After the doctor hanged up she started scolding me about how I need to be better at English saying I learned Korean faster then I did English. I told her that I could speak English mostly it is just some parts I cant and I need help. She then said that I'm 13 and need to act it and take responsibility. I feel  it was not a problem to help me but she was very upset that it. ######

Response: NTA. You’re doing your best! You wanted to make sure the doctor knew what was going on, it makes sense you would want to be as clear as possible. Learning another language is tough, there’s no shame in needing some help! ######


Prompt:
I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I am aware that just because you’re in a relationship that attraction to other people doesn’t just stop, and that’s fine!! I’m chill with my bf finding other people attractive and I’m not mad at that.
However, I do suffer with super low self esteem and some other mental health problems which he is aware of and I’m also working on them.

My boyfriend comments on other women often. It’ll always be something sexual as well, which makes me super uncomfortable. It feels like it’s constantly happening like on dates, going shopping, grabbing a coffee, watching a film etc. It kinda wears me down but I also feel like I’m being stupid. I understand he finds them attractive and that’s okay but I have asked him to stop multiple times just because I can’t always brush it off as much as I’d like to and it does mess with my head a bit. He checks people out a lot as well and sometimes it feels as though I can’t have a conversation with him if an attractive girl is walking by because he’s so distracted. When I ask him to stop he always says its just who he is and he won’t stop making comments in front of me because he thinks it’s funny. I tried to ignore it because I figured I am being whiny and overreacting, but one day I was just in a bad mood and he made some dumb comment about some woman's boobs and I once again told him to please stop and that it was upsetting me, I think I probably got too snappy. He got mad at me and didn’t speak to me until I said sorry.
I guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too insecure? Sometimes I don’t realise and just need to hear other people’s opinion. ######

Response: Nta. You’re boyfriend it’s totally TA though. You really should break up with him, he doesn’t seem to respect you. ######


Prompt:
I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.

I wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.

After turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.

Today we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.

I'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.

Am I the asshole for spending my earned money? ######

Response: NTA. You’re being responsible by setting some money aside for the future and it’s not like you’re spending your dad’s money on makeup and gag gifts. ######


Prompt:
There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances & cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with  shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.

First incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short & I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that & she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less.

Second incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work & I'm in my shorts & baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.

My stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed & asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.

So reddit, please give me some input. ######

Response: NTA. You’re an adult. Dress how you want. I find it reeeeeally problematic that your step-mother insinuated concern over your dad sexualizing you. Like... what even? That’s gross and incestuous, and I would calmly/tactfully call her out on her own insecurities. She obviously feels threatened and lacking attention. ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other.

I asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way.

My FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”

My fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######

Response: NTA. You’re an adult and she has no right to tell you what to wear and around who ######


Prompt:
Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today.
My partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.

Have I acted irrationally? ######

Response: NTA. You’re above and beyond with being kind and patient. ######


Prompt:
My student Spotify premium plan ran out so I went to the website to buy a regular plan. I noticed that they offer a family plan and figured it would be cheaper if I chose this option and split the cost with the people I invited.

I asked around and got a few coworkers and friends to join. The plan costs $15/mo. Split evenly that equaled our to $2.50 per person. I asked for them to pay me $2.50 each month on the 15th. It’s not a whole lot of money at all, for me or them, so it kinda felt silly to ask so for so little, but made sense.

Anyways, several months go by. People pay. Sometimes two of the people forget, and I’ll charge them on the Venmo after a few days.

These last two months, however, one friend hasn’t paid for the past two months. The other paid for this month but not last month. I charged them for these missing payments on Venmo (again, very little amount, but it’s disrespectful to disregard what we agreed on) and they’ve ignored it.

I don’t talk to that coworker (I left the job) and never really talked to her to begin with. Would it be rude if I just removed her from the plan without even texting her? All I did was request on Venmo so far ######

Response: NTA. You've reminded her twice now. It might be good to send a text and wait for a few days for a response before removing her. ######


Prompt:
Sounds terrible, I know, but hear me out.

My grandmother (GM) is 95 years old. She lives with my parents, who are both 70 years old. I (F43) live in the house next to them with my husband, kids and pets. Growing up, GM live with us as well and she was the torment of my childhood. She despised my mother and did her best to start arguments between us. She got me in trouble many times, hiding my things and lying about things I'd supposedly said and done to my parents. My mother despised her as well, but my father was too kind to kick her out. I was angry about this for many years, however, recently my anger has begun to thaw and I no longer care about her one way or the other. She's essentially a stranger.

For a pretty long time, she required little assistance from my parents. However, it is clear that she will not live much longer. She is completely bedridden and my poor parents have to take care of her almost 24/7. Time and time again, I have urged them to hire a caretaker to help them manage, since they need to take care of themselves as well. They refuse. I offered to pay for the caretaker and any additional related expenses. Still nothing.

However, my father wants me to help feed, dress and take care of my GM. For the obvious reason that I harbour no attachment or feelings towards her, I don't want to do this. Even if I did, I am working from home with two young children and a whole slew of pets and I simply cannot find the time to help them. Once again, I tried to convince them to hire a caretaker, because they obviously struggle on their own. They are adamant that they can handle it on their own. This has led to several schisms between us. My mother is somewhat on my side, however, my father is upset that I don't want to help take care of her. AITA for refusing to take care of my elderly grandmother? ######

Response:
 NTA. You've offered to pay for a solution to *their* problem, it's their choice to refuse it. It could be they don't want strangers in their home or they know Grammy is going to cause a ruckus.

If Grammy is as bad as you say, she could be demanding you specifically because she likes watching you be uncomfortable.

Your dad is TA because he keeps asking you to help when you've already said no and offered to pay for the help he needs. ######


Prompt:
First of all, I’d like to state that I’m a black woman (early 20’s) who was adopted into a *mostly* Caucasian family as a baby. I don’t want to go into more specific details for identity reasons but I feel like that’s important to mention.

Anyway, my mom and my younger sister are currently living in another state. I called my younger sister on the phone for her birthday and while I was talking to her, her boyfriend who is 100% white called another white guy (I know who he was talking to) a N*gger. He shouted it loud enough in the background that I heard it and it was a long awkward pause on my end with my sister, before I told her happy birthday and goodnight. I’ve honestly never heard anyone say that out loud and I talked to my mom about it the next day.

I’d like to point out my sister’s boyfriend knew I was on the phone with her and said to tell me he says hello. He was really nice when I visited them for a few weeks and never said anything like that.

Anyway, I’m not sure how to feel or what to think. I’ve been ignoring it because I highly doubt I can convince my sister to breakup with this guy, they’ve been dating for almost a year and he makes her really happy. He grew up in a rural small town as opposed to the city like us. He would 100% get jumped here if he said that. At that school they go to, there is only one black kid and she’s only half a black. Not deliberately, that part of the state just happens to be very white. My mom and my sister say they’re just ignorant up there, but they aren’t racist. My sister would never say that and told me she hates that the people up there say that sometimes.

But yeah, I’m pretty conflicted as it does kind of bother me but I sort of let it go since he wasn’t calling a black person/me that out of hate. At the same time I feel like I should be upset, especially since I’m black. I don’t know... Would I be an asshole if I don’t make a big deal about this? Not trying to ask for advice just wondering what you guys think. ######

Response: NTA. You've got to call out racism at every turn. Never allow it to be swept along with excuses. Make as much noise about it as possible. ######


Prompt:
Okay so my boyfriend atm stays home and I work three 12s a week. That said, I like to meal prep so I don’t have to cook every day for my lunches.

Well, my boyfriend, WHO STAYS HOME ALL DAY, thinks it’s a good idea to eat my lunches while i’m at work. I’ve asked him to stop but he says, “But your food is so good. Plus why don’t you make more so I can have some?” I’ve told him multiple times that I’m stressed and that I can’t make more meals because it’s a lot of work.

So he continued to eat my food. I remember that he HATES spicy food while I really enjoy it. So what do I do? Add spice. A lot of it.

Last time he ate something of mine, he called me yelling at me. He said I was being an asshole and that I know he hates spicy food. I told him, “Tough. Stop eating my food then.”

Now he’s mad at me....

Tl;dr- After asking my boyfriend NOT to eat my meal prepped food, I purposely made my latest meal preps SUPER spicy and now my boyfriend says I’m an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: Nta. You've asked him to stop. He didn't. The fact that he's mad because you made YOUR FOOD spicy just sounds super childish. Especially since he's purposely taking your prepped meal. Just keep it spicy. He'll learn or go crazy. Also does he not know how to make himself a meal? Sounds super lazy lol. ######


Prompt:
So we’re both vegan and have been for years.

Last year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have.

She’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food.

Unfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse.

We went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets.

We’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it.

We’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not.

They’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat.

We don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away.

This has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat.

Are we the assholes here?

[cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/QFng2By.jpg) ######

Response: NTA. You're vegan because you can, your cat is not because she can't. Seems stupidly simply for me. ######


Prompt:
A while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.

The wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.

Well, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says "I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!"

I thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.

The first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.

Finally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like "you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about" and he said it was "the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said "you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate."

The confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.

He got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said "maybe it's because I have different insurance" because that's all I could think of.

Well he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years.

Everyone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're the least person to be the asshole here. Obviously your brother-in-law had a lot of anxiety about being the father of the child, and for good reasons. Their happiness was based on very fragile foundations if learning about of hospital works can destroy it.
To blame you seems to be an easy way out for people who want to deviate from the matter at hand -- that has nothing to do with you. Please don't let anyone make you the bad guy of this story, this wouldn't be healthy, for anyone. ######


Prompt:
So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.

So at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?

But she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)

She wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.

This time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. you're setting a perfectly reasonable boundary. ######


Prompt:
I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.

I wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.

After turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.

Today we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.

I'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.

Am I the asshole for spending my earned money? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're right, you're a kid. You have no bills, and you're even so responsible that you're saving more of it than originally agreed.

I got my first job when I was 16. I don't know why, but the first thing I did with my first paycheck was buy a cake. Like a big plain sheet cake. I don't even like cake. But the freedom to just buy a cake when it wasn't my birthday was exhilarating. I ate like two pieces and gave the rest to my family.

You are most likely going to spend a good portion of your life not having enough money to buy something you want, whether it's a new brow pencil or a new car. It's coming. Enjoy this time now. ######


Prompt:
My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free

I got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house.

She defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them.

I lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ######

Response: NTA. You're right, she shouldn't expect people to do things for free. Paying him shows that you value his labor, and tbh he shouldn't have to grovel for it. ######


Prompt:
My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes.

When I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude.

Now I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol.

I just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######

Response: NTA. You're right to call her out on her rude comments. Even if someone is making rude comments because they're hormonal, you're justified in calling them out. People who do/say rude things impulsively due to hormones or an acute stressor usually show remorse for what they say. Your friend isn't showing any of that. ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago, before the virus. We were on a college study abroad, and this one girl (21) who ill call M, repeatedly grabbed my (19) butt. It took me raising my voice slightly after telling her to stop multiple times for her to actually stop.

Towards the end of the trip, M told the group that our bus driver had grabbed *her* butt. She was saying how uncomfortable it made her, and tbh that bothered me. I of course understand why it would bother her. And im sorry it happened to her. It was wrong of the bus driver to do that, full stop. However, during this conversation I said "now you know how I felt the other day," in reference to when she had done the same to me.

She was very angry i said that, and tried to say that it wasnt the same thing at all. But in my eyes, it was literally the exact some thing she did to me, after i asked her to stop until she could tell I was angry.

So, AITA for saying that? I feel like my point stands, but I can see how maybe that wasnt the time to say it. Thoughts? ######

Response: NTA. You're right that she is totally entitled to feel uncomfortable that the bus driver did that. But double standards don't work. Maybe it will be a wake up call for her. ######


Prompt:
About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time.

About two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet.

The issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice.

Here is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments.

He also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me.

This is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house.

Would I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it?

Tdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?

Edit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######

Response: NTA. You're pregnant. He's not. If you decide to give birth he needs to know but it's none of his business if you terminate. ######


Prompt: My father who I haven’t seen since I was 3 recently died.  My sister who had been having some troubles moved in with him about a year ago after burning bridges with all of my mom’s family after she got pregnant and ran away from home.  She’s only 15.  I recently turned 18 and my dads family is looking to me to be involved in his estate and funeral. I don’t have any interest.  There may be some life insurance and they keep asking me about that to pay for his funeral and asking what I can pitch in even if there is no life insurance.  I don’t feel any real connection to this man. Hadn’t spoken to him for years before his death and he paid no child support while I was growing up. If there is life insurance I intend to split the money with my sister. I made it clear to my aunt, that life insurance or not, I’m not paying for the funeral.  His family think I have an obligation to and that I’m being a jerk. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You're only 18! It's okay to let your father's family handle his funeral. ######


Prompt:
So my little sister is 7 and has a mild form of autism which makes her maturity level about a year or 2 behind where she is supposed to be.  I usually tuck her in for bed most nights cause she doesn’t really like my mom or dad doing it.

I do food delivery as a job right now, and I was working a lot lik from 8-8.  When I got home my sister was already in bed (her bedtime is 8:00 on school nights 8:30 on weekends) and I got home around 9 so she was asleep.

My mom told me that she was pissy when growing to bed cause I didn’t tuck her in, and my mom said I should have scheduled my hours earlier to be home.

Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You're not the parent. Your mom is pissed because she had to deal with your sister's mood and is looking for someone to blame; she's not assuming her responsibilities towards your sister's nightly routine. ######


Prompt:
My father went to prison two years ago for a crime I don't feel comfortable saying, but it really disturbed me. It completely ruined my trust in him, considering how close we were beforehand. It also really tore apart my family, leaving us with half of our usual income, rumours in our small town etc. It really wasn't easy.

He's been out for about two months, and has texted me multiple times, and I've never answered. I found out he's meeting up with my older sister next week, and he invited me to come. I turned it down. I have no problem with my sister going, because she's her own person and can do what she wants. However, my mom is treating me like a bad person for not wanting to have a relationship with him right now. On one hand, I feel bad for completely disowning my father, and on the other, I can't forgive him for what he did.

so, AITA for not wanting to see him right now? ######

Response: NTA. You're not ready yet and noone (even family) should be asking you to do things you're uncomfortable with. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language.

Throwaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad.

I (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.

Basically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this

Gay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you.

Me: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend.

GG: That's all you're going to say?

Me: Yeah? What am I supposed to say?

GG: Don't you like me back?

Me: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship.

GG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))

Me: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you

GG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))

Of course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.

so reddit

AITA for not liking a gay girl? ######

Response: NTA. You're not obligated to return someone's feelings for you, and it's totally inappropriate for her to try and throw a wrench in your relationship. ######


Prompt:
My mother left when I (18F) was 9 years old, seemingly never to be heard from again. I was sad about it of course, but not *too* sad as we never got along. She was very cruel to me, and she very obviously favored my brother (20M). She always took his side when we fought, she always wanted to spend time with him and not me. Basically every memory I have of her is her reprimanding me for something.

She has recently... resurfaced. After not hearing from her for nine whole years, I got a phone call. She asked if she could see me and I said no.

Well, I ended up telling my brother and he says I'm being unfair and I should give her chance because she was abused by our father and it's not her fault. I don't know if she was abused (never saw anything suspect) but even if she was, that still doesn't excuse the way she treated me, in my opinion. And she owes me an apology at the very least. Truthfully, I just don't want her in my life. Even if she gave me an apology, I don't want to bother with her. She caused me so much pain, I literally grew up thinking she didn't love me. I kind of still think that tbh, I found out she has been sending letters and birthday cards to my brother the entire time, and not me.

So... AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You're not obligated to have a relationship with her and she absolutely owes you an apology. ######


Prompt: We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home.  It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point.  Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats.  I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it.   Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework.  She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so).   My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk.  He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more.  So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't.  It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today.  Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're not favouring your son over your daughter. You set the expectations in order to get a reward (if doing chores can be considered a reward even with money!). He met them, she didn't.

Hopefully she learns her lesson and starts doing her homework and chores! ######


Prompt: My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######

Response: NTA. You're not even ordering shellfish, so why is Chinese food a problem? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I both suffer from depression. For the past few years, I’ve been able to manage mine pretty well with medication and regular therapy. He is on meds and tried therapy once a few years ago but didn’t like his therapist so he stopped and never found a new one. His depression has just gotten worse and worse.

For the past few years, he’s just been miserable. Constantly negative, complaining, etc. I’m empathetic because I’ve been there with my own depression, but now that we’ve been stuck at home with each other and our child 24/7 for the past two months, it’s getting old. I’m frustrated and drained.

Last night, after he complained to me for over an hour about how much he hates his job, I finally got frustrated enough to tell him that he needs to find a therapist, because his constant dumping on me is exhausting. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive and said that I should be there for him. I tried to make him understand that while I do love and support him, I just don’t have the energy or capacity to be his one and only outlet. He stormed off and hasn’t spoken to me since.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You're not complaining about him talking over his worries, you're simply saying you can't be his "only outlet," which is perfectly legitimate. ######


Prompt:
Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.

A couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me.
However, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.

I finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.

Now I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay.
What should I do? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're never obligated to spend time with anyone, and it's pretty common to no longer hang out with a bf/gf after they split from your sibling unless you had gotten really close. Especially if the other person had cheated. That's almost always a "fuck you, we're done' situation.

It's weird of P to have gotten so attached to you so quickly, think you'd still hang, and then run to your brother with lies/exaggeration when you said no. ######


Prompt:
Posting from mobile so please excuse formatting.

My dog has multiple health issues, specifically hypertension and an autoimmune disease in one eye. Daily, she needs to receive a pill in the morning and four drops, two in the morning and two at night. She has gotten used to the drops and pills and doesn't fight you, just dislikes it.

For the past two months, I have been administrating my dogs drops in the morning. My parents said they'd handle the pills and nightly drops. Two weeks ago I mentioned the pills and found out my dad wasn't giving them to her. I talked to him and so far he's been better.

For the past two weeks, I've found the drop containers in the same place I leave them every morning. I've told my parents this multiple times and they always have an excuse. Yesterday, I told my mom how annoyed I was and she said she'd set alarms and give drops every night.

This morning I came downstairs to find the drops where I left them. My mom said "Hey, how are you?" And I said "I'm disappointed that even after our conversation yesterday you still couldn't be bothered to give the dog her drops." My mom blew up at me, cited the 'I am the parent and you are the child' and, as always, had numerous issues that prevented her from giving drops yesterday.

She tried to relate it to me not taking out the garbage. We didn't have a long conversation about the garbage.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You're mom is a shitty person. She is too lazy to care for the wellbeing of the dog. You'll have to do it yourself ######


Prompt:
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.

I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.

I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.

I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.

I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...

Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.

TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######

Response: NTA. You're just picking a character without the intent of representing yourself. If you had a black bitmoji that would be another thing because that's intended to be an avatar of yourself, but this is more of a roleplay situation. You create whatever character you want, that's the fun of video games. ######


Prompt: So my brother is a twitch streamer he isnt huge but he averages around 100 to 150 concurrent viewers during stream. He does it full time while going to college. When he streams I(14M) use it as background noise and normally lurk. Today I decided to say something in chat and he ignored it which whatever streamers ignore messages all the time but I talked in chat every couple minutes. Never brought up any affliction with him never said he was my brother I was just acting like a normal viewer. He then went on a bathroom break for the stream and went and knocked on my door telling me to stop talking in his twitch chat. I asked why and he said becuase my mods on my stream know who you are. I asked why that's a problem I am friends with one of his mods none of them said anything about me being there. Well he went back to his room and went back to streaming. I then said something in chat and he muted me for 48 hours. Am I missing something here? I didnt ask for mod. I didnt bring up that I was his brother so people in his chat would pay attention to me I just watching a stream like i would any other stream. ######

Response: NTA. You're just a normal viewer. I'm sorry he's treating you poorly. ######


Prompt:
When I was 15, my mom left the family. For a long time, no one knew where she was or even if she was okay. Eventually, it was discovered that she was just “too overwhelmed” and left to handle herself. My brothers and I were raised by our uncle and my dad from that point on, but it was hard. I became like my brothers’ mom and had to grow up quicker than I probably should’ve. I got into therapy and a few years back and have been doing better.

Recently, I found my mom on Facebook. It was by pure mistake because I reconnected with some other maternal family members that I guess are friends with her. She had the same first name and looks pretty much the same, with just a different last name. The more I looked at her page, however, I saw that she had gotten remarried not long after she left my dad and had basically started a new family. She has kids ranging in age from 2-10 years old. My husband told me to leave it alone, but I was so angry and I just couldn’t handle it, so I ended up finding out her husband’s FB and messaged him, saying that his wife had 5 other kids that she had abandoned, did he know that? My mom ended up messaging me, pissed, saying I had made her husband mad because he didn’t know. To me, that’s not my problem. You can’t just run off and neglect my responsibilities. However, my brothers and husband think I was the asshole. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You're her kid. She did that to you. He has kids with her. Fair warning. If she doesn't like having to own being a shit person, she shouldn't be a shit person in the first place. And it's not your fault she hid her shit. How were you to know she didn't even mention you existed, let alone she bailed on you (and your sibs). That's all on her. That's her shit show. ######


Prompt:
Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc.

Now here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine.

Today, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes.

So, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're definitely right. It is sad that your sister has to suffer but still you deserve your life and your freedom.
Your support won't be less valid if it comes 20 Minutes later, 2 hours later or even 2 days later.
You're not responsible for your sisters condition, you shouldn't be treated as if you were just because she has a disease and you don't. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I may sound like a total a hole in the title but hear me out

Disclaimer for bad grammar I’m upset and writing this quick.

Ok so for the last 3 years I have been aware that my brother goes in my room while I’m at school (he gets home an hour early as he’s in elementary and I’m in 8 grade middle school).

Now I don’t like the idea that he goes in my room but he also takes my stuff all the time. Wether that be a old toy of mine or my coveted  legos (yes I’m a little old for those go off). The worst part is my parents never tell him to give anything back or try and tell him that it’s not ok. Apparently cause he’s young he is t held responsible.

All this has brought us today where on our couch I found the bottom half of my Isabelle amibo that I was gifted. At this point I was pissed because I had cleaned his room the day prior for him because it was disgusting (I’m talking it took me almost 2 hours and still is not the best).

Now I asked him in front of my dad why he stole it from my room and where the other piece was, and as usual when he gets in trouble he just closed his eyes and stoped responding.

So I gave him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t tell me where the other piece is or I find it before tonight ends I’m taking back everything he’s stolen from me. This includes a significant portion of his LEGO toys.

I don’t think I’m being unfair as I’ve told him to stop a multitude of times and to cut it out and this was my breaking point. I don’t really need many of these things he’s taken so I may just donate them all if I can.

So would I be the asshole here?

Extra info: I’m 14 and he’s 6.
. I still enjoy legos however don’t use the ones he’s stolen as often anymore.
.He’s asked me for things in the past such as       some of my stuffed animals and other bigger things. ######

Response: NTA. You're brother needs to learn some boundaries and your parents need to take your side on this. ######


Prompt:
Backstory. My grandma (64F) has never had her own place and has always lived with someone her whole life. I have a two year old and a five month old and after hearing her complaining about not getting to see family and my mom kicking her out my husband (32M) and I (23F) offered her a place to stay at our house two states away.

So heres my issue. She isn't required to pay anything here. Doesn't help with rent or bills or groceries. All I've asked is for a little help with the kids in the mornings as my husband works nights and I use night to study my courses.

Everything started out great. She was helpful and seemed to be enjoying the few hours in the morning with the greatgrands. Over the past several months she's begun taking three to four days every week and a half to drive three hours away to see her old boyfriend. Ok. No problem there.

Then she's begun to step outside to smoke every hour or so and stays outside for 45mins- a hour. Still no problem.

Now on top of all that she's begun complaining when my husband doesn't wake up at 7am when she normally is up and when the kids are up by 8am. He typically works till 1-2am and I'm up and down all night with the youngest. Like this is mainly the reason she moved in.

So WIBTA if I suggest that it seems the kids are stressing her out to much and she should move in with her boyfriend? Or even suggest she start helping with bills regularly? ######

Response: NTA. You're being very generous and she's taking advantage of you while also trying to control your household. Kicking her out or forcing her to pay rent are reasonable options. ######


Prompt:
My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this.

So they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people.

She says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.

Well, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about.

My mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.”

And I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”

She was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”

I was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”

She was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.”

But it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience.

So, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?

On a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ######

Response: NTA. You're analogy is solid. She just didn't like being called out on her bull shit ######


Prompt: I guess the question isn’t if I’m an asshole for just being on the site in general. It’s more like, I hold the guys I meet on there accountable for the things they promised. For this not familiar with it, but the site is for younger girls to meet older men who are willing to date in exchange for money. It’s not straight up prostitution, I’ve been on plenty of dates and never had sex. But most of the dates don’t even happen, it’s just talking on the phone and communicating for a bit. The issue I have run into EVERY TIME is that when it’s time to send money or when I ask for a gift, they act like I’m some gold digger. Am I? Probably. But it’s MORE than apparent what my intentions are. I’m 24 years old chatting with 60 year old men and they are shocked that I’m not doing this for free. A couple of them have gone off on me for being “such a slut” when ALL I’m doing is asking for the things they promised, so AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You're an adult. There's very little room for questioning what the purpose of that site is. If the dude is on it, he knows that it's not a standard dating site. The reason you're running into so much push-back is because that website is also full of liars and scam artists. ######


Prompt:
This is my first post on this subreddit so here goes nothing.

Hey I’m a (18M) and never had dated before. Never even kissed a girl. Haha embarrassing right? My mom absolutely forbade me from dating in highschool saying “focus on grades, not girls.” I went along with this notion and did pretty well for myself.

Now I have wrapped up my first year of college and have witnessed three of my crushes end up with boyfriends and can honestly not take the heartache anymore. I want to start dating.

I’m a premed major and my classes take a lot of time and effort but I feel like I can add a girlfriend into the mix and do fine. My mother doesn’t want me to and believes I should keep “close friends “ and after undergrad I could ask one of these “close friends “ if I want to date.

I want to ask out this girl who is in my major but don’t want to be viewed as a “bad son” for having a secret girlfriend.

What makes it worse is that my older sister attends the same small university I do and if she saw me with a girlfriend she would tell my mom about it.

TLDR: WIBTA if I got a girlfriend behind my mother’s back? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're an adult, go have fun but stay safe and be responsible!

Also, keeping "close friends" to date later on will not work. There's no guarantee they'll be single at that point, or view you as more than a friend. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.

Last week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.

This morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ######

Response: NTA. You're already raising her first child, and she cut you off because you didn't think it was a good idea for her to have another, especially since it sounded like she wanted you to raise the second one as well. That's a bs reason to cut you off and it sounds like your sons know that. ######


Prompt: This one is kinda a confusing situation that happened a while ago but I still sometimes wonder I’m im the AH. I (17m) has a close friend (17f) my junior year and we planned on going to junior prom together. Well it just so happened that later on in the year I had gotten a girlfriend and she had gotten a boyfriend. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to prom with me to my junior prom but she said no and she didn’t want to go to prom with my grade and my friends. My girlfriend at the time was a senior btw. I still decided to go to senior prom with my girlfriend. However I was still planning on going to junior prom with my friend group (mostly guys). Later on my friend from the beginning, her boyfriend couldn’t make it to prom so she asked if I wanted to go with her as friends like we had originally planned on. I first told my girlfriend about it and she seemed okay with it and also I was friends with this girl way before my girlfriend and we never had any intention on dating ever. Prom rolls around the corner and I go with my female friend and my girlfriend and her boyfriend don’t come out of their own choices. After the prom is over my girlfriend is really mad at me and refused to talk to me. Giving off very jealous vibes. She was always very jealous of my friend because my friend was more attractive then her but yet again if me and this friend ever planned on dating it would have happened way before and I reassured my girlfriend many times of this. So I just wanna know AITA for going to junior prom with my friend? ######

Response:
 NTA. You're allowed to go to prom with a friend of the opposite gender, you're allowed to hang out with a friend of the opposite gender.

It would be good to have a talk with your GF, try and reasure her, and get her to understand you and this friend are only friends. Cause being with someone who gets this jealous over this, isn't good nor healthy. Who's to say if it continues, she'll make you chose between her or friend, or make you stop hanging out or talking with friend just to make herself feel better.

That kind of relationship isn't worth it. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids; 8, 6, and 4. They love to ride bikes and we live in a relatively safe neighborhood so I let them ride around the(fairly small) block as long as they stick together and do NOT go off track. Around the block only, no crossing the street

The other day they went off track because they found some mysterious cage(turned out snapping turtle eggs that someone put a cage over). It was just across the street, not a huge deal. They were fine

That said, a rule was broken. So I punished them. No going around the block for the rest of the day(and this was at 9:30am so it really was a whole day).

My husband thought it was harsh because it was a harmless move. No one got hurt or kidnapped, they saw something cool/educational, and they only went just across the street for a few minutes.

I thought it was more of a principal rule and figured if we allow this, they’ll push their luck for more later and end up lost or hurt.

I’m open to discussing a bigger biking circle than just around the block but that needs to be discussed, not something they can decide for themselves, especially when their 4 year old sibling is with them. ######

Response: NTA. You're a parent, you made rules, the kids need to know that your rules have to be followed and actions have consequences. That being said, give them an alternative. Like, if they see something cool they come tell you and you go with them/give them one-time permission. And/or sit down with them and explain that, if they feel a rule is unfair or should be amended, they should feel free to come to you with their feelings and you will listen to their arguments and make decisions accordingly. The power is still with you, but teaching them to advocate for themselves is always a good idea. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for the confusing(?) title, I don’t exactly know how to word this.

I’m 21f, my dad was 46m. To make a long story short: When I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, while she had cancer, and got married immediately after she died. Stepmom, who is 43f, and her daughter, who is 18f, were not nice people, and made growing up a living hell for me. They were constantly reminding me I didn’t have a mom, and would do things like destroy my bedroom, any school stuff I had, and throw any nice thing I had out. My dad knew about most of it and did nothing. When I turned 18, I moved out and refused to contact any of them again.

About a month ago, my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died. I didn’t learn about his passing until two weeks ago, where I also learned he’d left me everything in his will. Not “everything” everything, but he left me what money he had, and several precious objects that are worth a good bit of money. Very little was left to step-mom and step-sister.

I found out he died because they called me to start harassing me about giving them what I was getting from my dad’s will. They told me they would be struggling if they didn’t get it. I ended up telling them that I didn’t care if they were struggling, and that if they really wanted to do this, I would see them in court.

AITA for collecting what I was left from my dad’s will, leaving my step-family to struggle?

Edit:

1: step-mother was left something, yes. She was left with the house, and money from my dad and her’s joint account. I was left money from a separate account that she does not have access to.

2: Yes, I’m looking into getting a lawyer. And a copy of the will. It seems like the will was written about a year ago.

3: Because of the current world issue, the funeral didn’t happen. Dad’s been buried, but they’re going to do a memorial service for him in June, and I’m not invited.

4: please stop telling me this is just like cinderella. I really hate that movie. ######

Response: NTA. You're 21, both your parents are dead, and it sounds like your life from your early years onward has been challenging, to say the least. Your dad presumably realised this, and tried to make up for it by leaving you the bulk of his assets. Was it a wise move on his part? Probably not. He should have foreseen that it would cause conflict. But you're not TA for accepting what is legally yours. ######


Prompt:
I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home.

This evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend.  This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ######

Response: NTA. You're 21 and you're not his kid. I used this on my brother (father of 4) once when we were walking and talking it started to sound a lot like a lecture. I told him "Don't use your dad voice with me. I'm not one of your kids." It brought him up pretty short. ######


Prompt:
My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).

The blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom "mom" most of the time but refer to me as "mom's kid" or "step brother" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.

My dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.

I am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet.  I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's.  The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:

1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more
2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps
3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one.

WIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ######

Response: NTA. You're 17 now? That's plenty old enough to decide where you want to stay. ######


Prompt: I (17M) program as a hobby. I've been pulling all nighters working on a project with my friends and on my free time I play CSGO and Hypixel Skyblock. My mom recently put locks on my laptop and blocked certain programs that are essential to my hobby (vscode, unity, etc) Luckily for me I found a loophole that allows me to bypass her locks by creating a new windows account using a throwaway email. She's always been like a helicopter parent and I've gotten used to it but it still pisses me off that she treats me like I'm 12. ######

Response: NTA. You're 17 not 12. She should be less controlling. Also, good on you for bypassing them! Lots of kids suffer under North Korea-style surveillance and strict content restrictions imposed by their parents every day. ######


Prompt:
So my (22F) parents (50+) were in the backyard doing some gardening and planting flowers today and left the garage door open. They have a few extra of certain supplies and made a care package for one of my friends who is struggling and left it on the front porch.

They have security cameras and were surprised when the supplies went missing before my friend had a chance to pick it up. I ended up getting a call (as I do not currently live with them but will be back there in a month) that someone came by, went into their garage for a while, then came out went to the front door, tried the door handle, and then took the package and walked away. Eventually the guy came back went into our garage again for a really long time, and then left again.

I am worried that they may be planning to break into the house or have stolen something and want to post a PSA on Facebook to look out for this sketchy kid (he seems about 17-19). When I told my parents this my mom said no because they don’t want to ruin his life, but I am worried why he would spend so much time in my parents house.

WIBTA if I went against my mother’s wishes and posted the information anyways? ######

Response: NTA. You'd ruin his life anyway by letting him think crime is okay ######


Prompt: Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ######

Response: NTA. You will likely get some push back from the family, and you have to decide whether or not it’s worth dealing with the fallout from that. Are you both planning on taking a new last name when you get married? If the two of you and your child would all share a totally new last name, that would make sense. ######


Prompt: All my life I've babysat people when it comes to hanging out. I'll ask, they'll say "I'll get back to you" or "sure maybe next week" or some such thing, and then days will go by and I hear nothing up until the last minute or don't hear anything at all. Recently I decided I'm done doing that. If they don't give me concrete plans or even something like "sure I'm free this weekend or "I think I'm free Monday and Tuesday, let me check and make sure" or something specific like that I just assume we're not hanging out and make other plans. Well recently what I've always feared happening happened. Somebody actually did get back to me at the last minute and I had already made plans with someone else who actually gave me specific plans and information to plan my week off of. This person is upset because I was like "I'm sorry but you didn't give me anything specific and you waited till the last minute to let me know". Am I the asshole for for not putting my whole week and life on hold while I wait for someone to get back to me? ######

Response: NTA. You weren’t rude or malicious, you just said it how it is. Hopefully they’ll learn they can’t just leave people waiting on them to make plans. ######


Prompt:
My son is 5 years older and ever since his first word I've been speaking to him in Arabic just as my mother did with me. He's picking the language up pretty quickly and I'm also teaching him French and German as I know it's easier for children to pick up languages. I've also been teaching him about Islam through bed time stories and he's started to copy me when I do my prayers which just melted my heart.

Before he was born I had a discussion with my wife that I'd like to raise our Children as Muslims but I'm not going to force it upon them and they can choose when they grow up. I did have my son circumcised however, with my wife's consent, for medical reasons as well.

It's currently the month of Ramadan which means I'm fasting from sunrise to sunset, when my son learn this he wanted to copy me. He was having lunch with my wife whilst I was working in my office and asked where I was. He then refused to eat and said he wanted to be like me. I had a talk with him and explained he was too young and he needs to eat so he can be big and strong like me. He still wants to try however so we agreed on him doing half days like we usually do with children.

My wife is very unhappy however and has said that it's unfair we're bonding over so many things and she feels like he's ignoring her. She agreed that languages are useful to him, but she wants me to stop teaching him Arabic and wants me to do my "Muslim stuff" away from him. ######

Response:
 Nta. You weren't forcing your son. You were doing it and like a normal kid, he's copying what his parent is doing

If your son likes it then I don't see why not. Maybe she can learn it as well so that it would be a bonding thing for all of you ######


Prompt:
I’m not a tech guy but I know more than anyone in my family and whenever there is a hiccup I am called to fix it.  I was full on asleep when my oldest brother yelled for me to wake up.  When I got out the WiFi wasn’t working and he basically demanded I fix it’s. I wasn’t looking for a fight and I just humored him.

It wasn’t working and I got more annoyed then my other brother said I’m doing it all wrong and basically pushed me out of the way while he worked on it (he doesn’t know anything about tech) and then my other brother tried to fix it.  They both were struggling and were getting more mad, I told them to just let me deal with it.  But when they were both done trying they both BLAMED ME for not fixing it.

(This is where I maybe TA) I said “I WAS fixing it till you 2 assholes pushed me out of the fucking way.  You know what?  Fuck you both you always pull this shit.”

I then put on my shoes and went for a walk, when I got back the WiFi was working again.  But my brothers were all passive aggressive towards me which really pissed me off but I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to start anything.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You were woken up and then they prevented you from continuing to help. Cussing at siblings depends on the dynamic but I'd assume more often than not siblings are comfortable enough with one another to handle that language. ######


Prompt:
I (F23) am currently staying at my girlfriend’s (26) apartment and yesterday she wasn’t feeling well. She had really bad cramps, was throwing up and had a really bad headache. We were out of medicine and groceries so I went out to get some.

I picked up the medicine and went into the grocery store, trying to get to the checkout as fast as possible. I was really lucky that there was no line and was already unloading my cart when a pregnant women asked me if I could let her in front of me. Normally, I would have said yes but her cart was bursting and I had to catch the next bus. Maggie has a car but I don’t drive it because of insurance issues. I really didn’t want to wait for the next bus because I didn’t want to leave Maggie alone for too long and I really didn’t have that many items. I wouldn’t have gone grocery shopping in the first place but the pharmacy is right next to the store and we really needed a few things.

I told the lady that my girlfriend was sick at home and I would hurry up packing the groceries into my backpack. The lady started screaming that I shouldn’t treat her like that and that young people nowadays don’t know how to behave. She yelled that she needed to sit down and that I would take to long packing up my things. I ignored her, paid and left. In the moment I felt like I was right, but now I‘m overthinking it. My gf is touched that I was so worried about her and the lady was just plain rude. But what if she was really feeling unwell.

Was I the asshole here ? ######

Response: NTA. You were totally fine.  Don’t think twice about this. ######


Prompt:
This ended up in a breakup and to be honest would have resulted in a break up no matter which way it was handled, and I realized that at the time so I handled it the way I did.

Me and my ex had been together for about four years before this, we adopted a dog together in our first year together and had been raising it. However last November the dog came down with cancer, estimated costs for treatment run 5-10k USD and it's not guaranteed, like maybe 50/50 and even if the dog survives it's not going to live a normal life.

Normally we contribute 50/50 to the dog's expenses. The problem is it wasn't possible for my ex to contribute the 5k because of a recent layoff. As for me, I'd recently purchased a cello (I am a cello player, played for 15 years and am insanely passionate about it) for about 15k, and it was still late in the refund period when our dog came down with its diagnosis. I had almost no savings because it was all spent on the cello.

Refunding the cello would have been the only way to come up with the money for the treatment since we were surviving on only my income for the time being and had no excess funds. Frankly i refused and pointed out everything I said here. In the end our dog passed away and we broke up over it, and my ex moved out of my home. I still have doubts whenever I play my cello, but overall I don't regret my decision.

I wonder how reddit would judge me though? ######

Response:
 NTA. You were put in an impossible situation: try to save the life of your dog (maybe without being 100% sure about the recover) and lose your only income or keeping it but loosing your dog.
I’m sorry about your pet ######


Prompt: I enjoy singing but I am VERY bad at it admittedly.  I have no pitch or tone but I like to sing alone in my room usually to songs or I’ll even do karaoke by myself I know I’m bad but I like doing it, it’s fun and a stress reliever. I moved in with an roommate a couple months ago and he hates my singing (I don’t blame him) but I was singing in my room a few weeks after moving in and he had asked me to stop and not to do it when he’s home, I said sure it seemed like a reasonable request although I don’t sing that loud. Well the other day I thought my roommate was out and was singing some karaoke in my room and didn’t think he’d be home for a couple of hours. He ended up coming back early with a couple of friends and they heard me singing (I’d didn’t hear them come in as I had headphones in). Well he actually sent them home and BLEW up on me saying that I embarrassed him with my terrible singing and that no one should be singing like that unless they’re a professional.  he also doesn’t want me singing at all in the apartment. I apologized and said I didn’t know that they would be home but he’s still mad at me. But I don’t really feel like TA here. What do you guys think AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You were only singing hardly crime of the century. Do what you enjoy! Definite over reaction from your room mate. Maybe look for a new room mate who isn't so weird about you singing to yourself? ######


Prompt:
I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left.

Some side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You were just doing your job. ######


Prompt:
So the other night the girls parents were over at my house and I decided I would be somewhat of a nice person and make everyone a nice dinner even with the rocky past I have with them. (They don’t agree with me traveling for work a month at a time)
Well whenever I would leave the living room to check on things in the kitchen I could hear snarky comments just loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough so they could sound like they’re “trying” not to be heard. After about an hour of it my girlfriend told me what they were saying about me to her. I walked out of the kitchen and told them that they had to leave because I wasn’t going to be disrespected like that in my own home. My girl told me I could’ve handled it in a different way but I just couldn’t tolerate it in my own home aita? ######

Response: NTA. You were giving an olive branch to people who do not respect you or your job. You were attempting to be kind but clearly they are childish. I think you can be kind but firm and ask someone to leave. ######


Prompt:
So today I resigned from my job. I't was apparently a 'graduate position' and my first job out of college. As soon as I joined the company, the head of my department quit and 4 weeks later once she actually left, I was in charge of the department. I was responsible for all the clients accounts and was extremely stressful and I was not well equipped nor trained well enough for the job. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time and no one is around to help. So this affected my mental health badly. I told my boss this and gavethem warning that I was at risk of leaving.

At the start of this month all employees took a 20% wage reduction. As it was still considered a 'graduate position' I was on almost minimum wage. After the 20% cut I was below minimum wage and was given a contract to sign to consent to the reduction. I informed my employer of the potential illegal document and I got scalded for questioning this (she's a lawyer and was very butter that I would accuse her, a lawyer of creating an illegal contract.

I requested my employer to put me on minimum wage which they rejected my request as they couldn't afford it. So I resigned today leaving the whole accounting service team with no members.

Everyone at the firm hates me for it right now and have guilted me and made me feel like an asshole for leaving. Anyway that sums up the story more or less so let me know what you guys think. ######

Response:
 NTA. You were given more responsibility than you had agreed to beforehand without being offered another position or pay raise. On top of that nobody taught you how to do your job. To have the audacity to try and cut your pay to below minimum wage after that is just despicable.

You gave them a fair warning that it was taxing on your mental health and they didn't heed your warning. They brought it on themselves! ######


Prompt:
My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby.

My baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left over pizza in the oven for himself for lunch. He said he was going to go shower and asked if I could get it out from the oven if the timer went off before he got out. I told him, "No, I can't because I have the baby sleeping on me." He hesitated, but then he said, "I'll be out in time."

He went to shower. He wasn't out in time and the timer went off. I called for him a few times but he didn't hear me. The baby woke up from me yelling for him but went back to sleep within a few moments. I did not get his pizza from the oven.

He came out about 5 minutes later. He was mad that the timer was going off. He asked me why I was letting it go off. I said that I told him I wasn't going to get it. He pulled his pizza out and it was kind of burned. Not black burned but it smelled a little toasty.

He saying I was being lazy and rude. I don't think I was because I told him straight up I wasn't going to get his pizza and he said he would be out in time. My dad also told my older brother about it who agrees with my dad.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You were doing something important that couldn't be interrupted, and you told him so. I think it's fair, and if he doesn't,  he might to consider what it would be like to spend the rest of the day with a screaming, overtired baby. ######


Prompt:
I (48M) recently won the lottery.  Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot.  However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account.  I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.

My Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago.  We have been separated since February because of the lock-down.  She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back.  About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc.  I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.

Through a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money.  I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me.  She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.

Our mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right.  AITA? ######

Response: Nta. You were broken up and bought the ticket with your own money!!! Keep all your winnings and stop talking to your ex!! Congratulations on a win!!! ######


Prompt:
My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig.

We live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential.

When my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now.

Last week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October.

I mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse.

We let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######

Response: NTA. You were *never* going to get the unit they origonaly offered, getting you into their house was always their plan. If it wasn't they wouldn't have rented the unit. Well done for not falling for it. ######


Prompt:
Hi Reddit,

I know the title sounds crazy but I just want to know if I’m in the right or wrong.

A couple of months ago, My ex girlfriend came to visit me while I was sick at home. We had been in the breaking up stage for months, with no end in sight <she did not want to let go>. I had moved on emotionally and really wanted nothing to do with her. Ex girlfriend comes to my house, without notice, and proceeds to talk about nonsense and why do I want to leave her, and me being sick and not wanting any drama, asks her to leave. She refuses to leave and i let her know that if she doesn’t leave I will call the police. After that she locks herself in my room, and I proceeded to call. Cops arrive and remove her, but she claims she came to pick up some items (false).

Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You warned her that if she didnt leave youd call the police. Actually doing it let her know you're serious for the future if she tries something again. ######


Prompt:
My mom just unexpectedly died from cancer. This has been the most difficult experience of my life, and I really needed my boyfriend to fly home. I voiced that I would pay for his ticket, but he replied that he thought it would be better if I flew to his place on our already planned trip in a week. I have three kids who are devastated and this is really not possible anymore. He also has a flight here for June 6th but didn’t reschedule.

At first, the issue was he needed to be home to rent the open rooms in his house. But that has been mostly resolved and he’s shown no urgency. He has been there for me communicatively but I really just need to be held and cry.

I wanted (needed) him here, and kindly voiced how it would mean a lot to me. However, I am at a point in my life where I won’t beg, nor try to change anyone. If he wanted to be here, he would, right? This is causing me to seriously second guess if we are on the same page. AITA?

He also has traveled home during the pandemic, so respectfully that argument is null.

Edit: Asking for opinions because obviously I want to bring this up, and am considering taking space or ending it if I am not the asshole, and he tries to make me feel like one. ######

Response:
 NTA. You voiced your need and he has dismissed it. That is an awful to have in a partner.

If I was in this position I would honestly tell him that if he can't be there for your most desperate time in need, then he can keep his ass away for that June 6th trip.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry your partner is not realizing how they are a massive dick in this situation. ######


Prompt:
We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money.

My girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time.

Now she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well.

Am I the asshole?

Edit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######

Response: NTA. You two need to have the money talk because if you arent on the same page financially, this relationship is doomed. ######


Prompt:
So this happened before lockdown... normally I hate giving wait staff a hard time because I get that their jobs hard...

So I went to dinner at a tgis with my boyfriend. We ordered starters, mains and drinks all at the same time. Starters and drinks came and it was fine. But slowly we ran out of drinks and we were in a bit of a back corner and no one was coming over...

We just kind of waited for our food but it got to about 40 minutes since we’d had our starters so we tried flagging down a waitress which took another 20 minutes and asked about our food... she was polite, apologised and left to find out about our food.

She didn’t come back... 10 minutes later we asked another waitress, same thing, she apologised then didn’t come back to speak to us... 3rd time we asked a waitress and the same thing happened again.

I was mad at this point and so we left just enough to cover the drinks and starters on the table and started to walk out... a waitress came running at us saying we can’t leave as we hadn’t paid yet. We told her that there was money on the table and she told us we had to pay for the whole meal (which we hadn’t received yet). She called the manager out and as she did this our food finally came out... about 2 hours after our starter.

We got mad as hell picked up the money on the table, gave the manager a chewing out and wrote a letter to corporate....

It’s not that they forgot about us, it’s the fact that we asked for help and they completely ignored us....

So AITA for walking out on the bill? ######

Response: NTA. You tried to pay for the starters and drinks. You weren’t walking out on the bill until they finally gave you attention to flag you down and pay for food you didn’t receive. Thats BS. It was fair to walk away. A good restaurant would have comped your food for the shitty service anyway. ######