Prompt:
A bit of backstory:Me and my step brother share a room, I am 17 and he is 15 and he HATES to shower like full on despises having to shower he is like a cat.  He plays football, and works out a lot so he sweats and has a nasty case of athlete BO, I hate having to smell that and I think in the past 5-6 months he has showered once (we aren't having any sort of financial crisis where he couldn't shower he just doesn't).  He's made the room almost unbearable and I pretty much sleep on the couch now cause of it and I put in a couple of those febreeze air fresheners.

Main Problem:I was in my room on my phone when he came in after working out, it was extra bad this time I was getting up to leave the room cause I hate the smell.  He asked me why I was leaving and I said cause I don't wanna be in the room anymore thinking he would just drop it.  I guess he didn't like that and came out of the room asking if he did something wrong, I kept brushing him off cause I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but he wouldn't stop pushing the issue.

Me:Dude you smell like shit.  Take a fucking shower, I can't deal with the smell anymore.  If you need help with how to properly shower ill show you or your dad can but you can't go on like how you are my guy.

(His sister got involved cause she didn't like how I was talking to him or something)

Step Sister:Don't talk to my brother like that

Me:Come on, I'm just saying he needs to take a shower.  I am not trying to bash him but he needs one, he works out too much to not shower.

Step Sister:doesn't give you a right to be a fucking asshole to him

At this point my step dad got involved and sent them to their rooms and I was sent to the living room, my step dad was mad at me the most and said that I should have been nicer to my "brother".  I told him that he needs to make him shower and smell better, I even said id help him if he did but my step dad told me to drop the conversation and never bring it up again.  AITA????? ######

Response:
 NTA. He's 15 not 3 and shouldn't need to be told to shower.

Why hasn't his parents said something? ######


Prompt: I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says "jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######

Response: NTA. He wasn’t in your life until like 3 years ago. Talk to him about it and maybe say to wait a couple years so it wouldn’t be as weird. Good luck bro ######


Prompt:
Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was "too sleepy". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation.

During grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults  After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling.

Fast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh.

2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it.

Without any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward "hi, I think I'm your cousin", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me.

Apparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it.

I am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He wasn’t in your life for a long time. And when he reconnected with you, he only wanted money. I don’t know who told you he died, but still. You do not have to reconnect with him if you don’t want to; especially knowing how flaky he is and how he only really seemed to want money. If he gets sad for a drift *he* caused, that’s on him. It’s not your job to pick up the pieces. ######


Prompt: A few months ago, despite taking birth control and using condoms, I got pregnant. It’s always been a dream of mine to have children but after a diagnosis of some pretty severe mental and physical illnesses I decided not to have children biologically. This was a heartbreaking decision to make but I knew I never wanted to make a child suffer like I do. My boyfriend was aware of this decision and agreed that if we ever had children we would adopt. After I became pregnant I completely broke down, my mental health deteriorated and I cried as I scheduled an abortion. As soon as I told my boyfriend this he got angry, he was yelling and crying and begged me to reconsider. One minute he was calling me a bitch, the next he was telling me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. I told him that there were just too many reasons why this would be unsafe, I’d have to come off of many of my medications and would almost definitely end up with either psychosis or PPD. He started ignoring me and didn’t say one word to me for over a week, the day after I had my abortion he broke up with me. Now I’m living with my parents for a while and every few days a member of his family will text me to tell me that I murdered his baby. Am I really a murderer? I thought I made the right decision, but now I’m wondering if I was being crazy and selfish. ######

Response:
 NTA. He was willing to sacrifice you for the potential of a baby. You did the right thing for you and your health.

Also the fact that he dragged his family into it shows he may not have been the right long term partner for you.

Be well ######


Prompt:
So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating
Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today
I mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill.
I feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing.
He thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ######

Response:
 NTA. He was rude and inconsiderate af and I’m fairly certainly he’ll be okay for one day on little sleep doing...what sounds like nothing.

(Though I do think yall should have a calm sit down where you go over the previously negotiated boundary [of sleeping in the other room after X time]. Quarantine has made for some anxious and testy bedfellows so it can’t hurt to calmly discuss this and reinforce its necessity after you both have calmed down a bit.) ######


Prompt:
I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother.

While I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.

I've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about "bastards wanting a payday" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He was legally responsible for that debt. All you did was make sure he had to fulfill his obligation. ######


Prompt:
We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.

One of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him.

Then in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.

I told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.

AITA reddit? ######

Response: Nta. He was being rude and unprofessional ######


Prompt:
This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.

After that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left.

Afterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######

Response: NTA. He waited until everyone else left so he could ask, so he knew it was inappropriate. Sorry your sister is refusing to believe it. ######


Prompt:
Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.

My ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.

I invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him.

The party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex.

My ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

I’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home.

I spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

It felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He tried to ruin your birthday party. ######


Prompt:
Hello! Nothing too heavy here.

My (39F) ‘partner’ (34M) asked me, “Can I make you something for lunch?” I answered, “Sure!” He went inside, I heard him in the kitchen for maybe 5 minutes, he came out with... some lunch for himself. Then it went like this:

Me (kinda laughing): Are you serious?
Him: What the fuck did I do now?
Me (confused): Didn’t you hear me say “sure” when you asked if I wanted lunch?
Him: I waited for you to tell me what you wanted, and when you didn’t, I thought ‘fuck ya’.
Me: ... I don’t understand...

He got annoyed, said “there’s your lunch, enjoy” (pointing to his plate), and walked away, calling me a fuckhead.

I think he’s an AH, he clearly thinks I’m an AH. I still don’t understand. Whenever I’ve asked him if he wants breakfast, for instance, if he says yes but doesn’t specify what he wants, I’ll still make him something.

We were having a lovely day, I just don’t get it.

What’s your verdict? ######

Response: NTA. He took the initiative to ask, he should've followed up. He's being petty. ######


Prompt: My biological father has been in and out of jail ever since I was 6. He went to jail for identity theft. When my mom found out that all the presents he had bought her were basically stolen, she divorced him and made him return the items. My mom didn't remarry. Despite not having a dad, it didn't bother me. My dad was released in 2018, and has been trying to get back in my life. I'm not going to lie, he's an asshole. When I let him back in the first time, he demanded I give him the money I've been saving since I was 15, roughly $1,500. When I refused, he spent it on alcohol and gambling while I was at work. I kicked him out of my apartment and he went to live with my half brother. He's came to my job, and slept with my boss who then fired me. With everything going on, I really needed that money. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it is to make ends meet right now. He showed up to my apartment the next day asking for some cash (the audacity this man has is unreal.) I cussed him out and told him he wasn't my dad. That my birth certificate may have his name on it, but he's not my father. I have honestly never considered him my father and I never will. I made sure he knew this too. Over the course of 2 weeks, I have gotten at least 300 texts from my half brother telling me how rude I'm being to our dad. AITA?? ######

Response:
 NTA. He stole from you and he got you fired. Worst of all he was never been there for you and your mum.

Maybe you can take him to court over the money he took from you. How did he even take it? Wasn't it in your bank account? ######


Prompt:
My fiancé bought his first bike a week and a half ago. It’s a manual. He’s just learned how to keep from stalling. He’s had a hard on about riding everywhere we go and he’s never driven in the rain or when the roads are slick. He wanted to go to his friends house about 35 minutes away to show off the bike. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that because he’s...
1) Not experienced
2) Not licensed
3) Has NEVER driven the bike in the rain
4) Is not a responsible driver
He left with the *biggest* attitude, told me he was big enough to make his own decisions, I was being unreasonable, and took the car. I’m not very knowledgeable about bikes and bike safety and feeling a little guilty. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds too immature to own a motorcycle.  He has no concern for his safety or the safety of the people that he will share the road with. ######


Prompt:
I (f19) have been with my boyfriend (m20) for a year now.

About 6 months into our relationship I got pregnant, and suffered a miscarriage about three months into it. I was heartbroken but at the end of the day felt like it was fate because I couldn’t financially take care of a child anyways.

Well I paid for everything since I’m not on my parents health insurance anymore. *graphic* I had to get it removed from me because the fetus didn’t come out on it’s own, and the procedure alone cost me $600. Also the anti nausea meds, pain meds and follow up drs appts.

My boyfriend was hardly involved in the process and loosely offered to help pay, but I just declined because I felt he didn’t mean it. So I spent well over $1,000. Which is fine, but now I can’t afford a car and it’s set me back big time.

My boyfriend constantly spends his money on video games or things for his car. He offers up coffee every day for me and other things as well. HE OFFERS. Yet, in an argument, he threw this back on me saying im only with him because he buys me things. I was so shocked and I threw it back on him that in one of the most important times, he couldn’t even pretend to care and I didn’t take a cent of his money. Also I mentioned he offers those things up and rarely do I take them.

He retorted that those medical bills weren’t his problems, so that’s why he didn’t pay. I got offended because it takes two to make a baby. So I snapped and went into the other room where I’ve been crying all night. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like trash. People really show you who they are in a tough time, and he pretty clearly showed you his selfish ass. I hope you move on quickly to a happy life of your own design. ######


Prompt:
Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.

My boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.

AITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like he just wanted you to give up and let his kids do whatever they want so he could continue to be Cool Dad. Either way you'd be the one eating shit. His current silent treatment is part of the same theme. You cave, everything goes back to where it was with you and your pets being terrorized. ######


Prompt: This is a pretty silly thing so I'll keep it (relatively) short, but I'd appreciate getting your advice on this. My boyfriend 'John' and I were spending time together recently and I was acting off (I was stressed, but he didn't know and I didn't tell him). He asked me if I was okay and I responded that I was, to which he responded asking me if I was on my period. I felt pretty annoyed by the question, and while I didn't say anything in the moment, I brought it up later. John explained himself further, telling me that his best friend (let's call him Paul) said that his girlfriend wouldn't get mad if Paul asked her if she was on her period because she's an objective and reasonable person. Moreover, John didn't feel like the question was offensive and was coming from a place of trying to understand why I was off. I obviously disagree, but wonder now if I'm being unreasonable and if he was just coming from a place of trying to be understanding--AITA for feeling like this was an offensive question and feeling upset about it? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like an ass. Next time he acts off, ask him if he going through an early mid life crisis. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.

So I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like a psycho. Run. ######


Prompt:
Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was "Surprised anyone would wanna date you" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back "Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family." Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.

&#x200B;

So anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like a horror to grow up with, it makes sense that you don’t feel sad over this. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Abuse of any kind can impact you in ways that are unimaginable ######


Prompt:
Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.

I have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).

Well my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.

So I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.

Idk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds extremely coddled as well if your aunt's instinct is to call you and tell at you about her grown ass son. ######


Prompt:
Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.

3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.

About 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.

They apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.

A few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.

My mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)

Before the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.

Fast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ######

Response: NTA. He sounds creepy - a con artist at best. You have every right not to want your family near him.  Reiterate to her that she is welcome at any time and you and your family would love to get together with her only. ######


Prompt:
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.

They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.

My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######

Response: NTA. He should've discussed it with you before he even offered, regardless of what type of relationship he has with the cousin. ######


Prompt:
Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short.

Background: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part.

Story: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head.

THE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION.

I IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like "bruh chill," while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background.

I don't accept.

It was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He should not have said that information about you. ######


Prompt:
My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.

Recently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.

I replied with " I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He should have thought that one through a little bit. ######


Prompt:
Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.

Myself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.

We are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ######

Response: NTA. He should have lived up to his part of the agreement. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc.

I absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things.

When I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday.

I was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything.

He is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them.

Am I TA for not helping them clean up? ######

Response: NTA. He should have delayed his phone call. Your daughter is old enough to know about making and cleaning messes. She should be the one to clean it, and your husband should be the one to make sure she does. ######


Prompt:
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.

They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.

My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######

Response: NTA. He should have asked you before using your shared points. Especially because you both had plans for them. ######


Prompt:
My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.

Now, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He should focus on paying back the $400 first. These are financially tough times on everyone imo ######


Prompt:
For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22

It’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”

He absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway”

He is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.

Well, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.

I’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone.

Well, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt”

I try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.

His friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.

A couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.

Now he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.

Was it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ######

Response:
 NTA. He should be way more embarrassed by his own behavior than by anything you said.

And if he acts like this about a video game, how is he going to act when something that is actually important doesn't work out? There are some red flags here. ######


Prompt:
I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest.

I love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.

Tonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4.

I keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.

AITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######

Response: NTA. He should be just as responsible with the child as you are. You're both new parents but that doesn't meant the entire brunt of it should fall on you. ######


Prompt:
Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
So, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.
Right now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.
So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He sent it to you without consent, that's a cyber version of flashing someone. Which is a sex crime. If he didn't want it in his mom's inbox he shouldn't have sexually harassed a stranger. You're under no obligation to care about some dude's embarassment when he's going around harassing women. Also, yeah, he absolutely SHOULD feel embarassed about doing something shitty. ######


Prompt:
For about four years, I had a 2001 Toyota Corolla that got me where I needed to go without many issues. It was my first car, pretty inexpensive and definitely reliable. I just finished grad school and I’m looking into getting my career started, so my plan was to get a newer car within the next two years and give the old one to my youngest sister when she turns 16.

Last week, my brother, who is kind of notorious for being a reckless driver, wrecked my car. Thankfully he was totally okay! The car is totaled though. I have to get a new car and as I’m searching, it looks like the I’ll be putting 500 down, getting a 6,000 loan and then paying the rest with the insurance money from my totaled car.

So here’s the thing: my brother is 100% responsible for this situation. He made a mistake and crashed my car. However, he’s a poor, college student who is especially low on money given the current pandemic. I feel like a dick asking for money towards my new car but it also is fair. If he were a stranger and had crashed into my car, totaling it, he would be held responsible and have to pay.

I definitely wouldn’t ask for more than the 500 that I have to put down out of pocket but idk how much exactly I would ask for from him. WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. He screwed up when he crashed your car. It sucks he isn't financially well off, but the least he can do is help with the down payment. ######


Prompt:
Sold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.

The buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.

I urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.

But now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA. He pretty much ignored you for a month and then suddenly decided that he wants a refund? Unless his world fell apart in that month and he couldn't contact you, then you are not the asshole. ######


Prompt:
I was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.

He asked what address I wanted  the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks

Since my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.

As for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it.

But I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.

So I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.

The lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.

It’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said  I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.

And that’s where I am now. ######

Response:
 NTA. He owed you money, and he left it to you. And the lawyer said he'd look for the kids. I'm assuming he probably found them, or how else did she know to contact you?

And why was the daughter is so upset about the photos and whatever else was thrown out, when she didn't even stay in touch with her father enough to know he died? ######


Prompt: This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######

Response: NTA. He might not be happy with his body but saying that shit in front of you it’s just insensitive and alienates you. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I have never really gotten along with our neighbors on one side of us.

My wife says the origin story is that when they came to our housewarming, I was cold to them and didn’t chat enough (in my defense I was with like ten people playing a board game).

Anyway, there is no fence between our yards and their dog constantly poops in my yard. I like dogs, but the biggest reason I don’t own one is because of the cleanup.

So I would mow the lawn, and gently kick the poop into their yard as I went. I thought this was a fair compromise between cleaning it for them and doing something silly like putting on their doorstep.

Because of this, we heard them loudly shit talking us with another neighbor right in our backyard. I was the bad guy for kicking the poo over.

One morning I was driving to work with my wife and baby son in the dark. All of a sudden, again, in the dark, the neighbor comes flying from the sidewalk into the street with his dog and yells “SLOWWW DOWWWN.”

Last winter I saw that his car was stuck in the driveway. I put on my snow gear and asked if he needed a push. He just said “nope” and kept revving his engine. Ok.

There’s more but this post is already getting long.

So fast forward to today, we get a used playset with a slide, swings etc. Now all the sudden they are in the backyard with their toddlers near our yard and saying “no we can’t go on there,” etc.

We basically haven’t spoken in six years since we lived here. We never see them in the yard just playing like that.

My wife thinks we should let their toddlers play on there, because they are just kids.

This guy has been a real jerk to me for six years, I know it’s not the kids fault but I just feel like there needs to be an apology or olive branch from their end as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen.

AITA for not inviting the kids? ######

Response: NTA. He made his bed and now he can sleep in it.  That being said I feel like you need to put up some kind of a barrier between the two yards.  I’m thinking something like grapes or raspberry bushes. ######


Prompt: My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######

Response: NTA. He knows you don't like chickpeas, adds them anyway, and makes you feel guilty for not liking them. There's only one a-hole in this story, and it's not you. ######


Prompt:
So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account.

We confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number.

Last week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. He knew when the date was and still waited. Then he had your parents try to fight his battles.

 It's not too late for him to "prove" he was going to pay you anyway— once he gives you the money he can find out the number for the new account.

So if he really was going to pay, he has nothing to be mad about. He'll have the same access as always once he does what he said he was going to do. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I’ve been talking to the guy for a month or so, maybe longer, and we’ve made plans for a weekend before but he never texted back so the day came and went and I heard nothing. He said he was really sick and couldn’t let me know/forgot about it. I forgave him, moved on. YESTERDAY we agreed to meet up for coffee and I message this morning .... nothing. One hour before we were supposed to meet up he literally says “I’m at work” (that’s all) and then when I confronted him and got mad about it tonight, he starts saying that he has to work heaps because he’s helping his parents stay afloat, and they have no money and he’s working 70 hours a weeks, and he had to rush into work and didn’t have time to text. And then bringing up all the times he offered to come over at midnight and shit and I turned him down. He turned the whole argument back on me and I feel bad for attacking him but I also feel dumb for feeling bad...???
He’s the asshole, right?? Or am I being a bit of a bitch because he works heaps and I have more time off/don’t understand what it’s like working so much? ######

Response: NTA. He just wants to fuck, fam. If you want a date, you should probably find it somewhere else. ######


Prompt:
I got custody of my nephews when they were 4 and 6. Their mother and my brother were drug addicts and exposed them to terrible things. I put my life on hold at 30. I'm now 39. I did a damn good job re-raising those boys and they call me "dad." I am very proud of them. The youngest isn't my brother's biological child. They are amazing kids. I occasionally spoke with him, but wouldn't let him contact the boys because it would be too upsetting for them.

Both my brother and his girlfriend caught up in a drug case that went federal. Both got 10 years. Their mother is completely out of the picture. I have no idea where she is or if she is even alive, but supposedly she was released two years ago. My kids don't ask and don't care.

My brother got out this year. I don't keep tabs on him, but he recently reached out to me and asked me if I could send him pictures of the kids when they were younger and happier. He doesn't recognize them now (he saw them on social media). He says he regrets fucking up their early years. I thought about it and said no. They might be happy, funny, healthy, active and social kids but they do have scars because of my brother and his girlfriend. My logic is that as my kids must live with those scars, my brother should have to live with being completely blacked out of their lives. I have pictures and videos of them swimming with dolphins and jumping off waterfalls and scoring soccer goals. But those experiences would have been denied had they stayed with them. Plus I gave up A LOT to become a single dad to two kids at 30. I still sacrifice. ######

Response: NTA. He just wants pics of his kids looking happy so he doesn’t feel as bad about being such a fuck up. ######


Prompt:
We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.

 Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. He ISNT doing his share as a parent or partner.

He doesn’t like the chart because now he has to face that. ######


Prompt:
Since March 1, we are at home because of the Coronavirus and since the beginning of March that my 17-year-old brother stays up until 8am playing video games and wakes up at 8pm, I understand that there it's nothing to do, it's routine, but he spends the evening eating.

He barely having finished his supper that he opens the fridge and looks for something else to eat, and he does this every 1 hour until that he sleeps. He has gained weight, and does not go out for a short walk or even to do sports in the
house. We all tell him that it is not good for his health but he does not listen to anyone.

I then ordered a lock (luckily our fridge is 2 doors) lock the fridge after the dessert he has eaten after supper. He is very angry and says that it is abuse but I do this for his good, I intend to unlock it after some hours have passed at least.

AITA for doing that?
PS : Sorry for my english. ######

Response: NTA. He isn't paying for food, he can wait to eat until he is given permission. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat.

Without hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time.

I told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions.

He tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and "taking it too seriously."

No, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for "overreacting"? ######

Response: NTA. He is treating you like a cat that gets squirted for scratching the couch. Very demeaning. Does he treat you like a child in other aspects of your relationship as well? ######


Prompt:
I’ll keep this short.

I’ve worked at a restaurant for a while and there’s this one guy that usually comes. We’ve casually chatted a bit and have a casual relationship. He’s hot. I’m not. He usually comes really late, I’ve talked to him twice in the parking lot after my shift ended. He also initiates and carries on these conversations, I’m not harassing him.

I decided to shoot my shot, after work today we were talking again and I asked him out. He said no. I was fine with this. I was about to accept that and leave, but after the initial rejection he went on about how he just couldn’t force himself to be attracted to me physically, “you’re a very nice girl but . . .” and all that jazz. I felt a little hurt by this because he could’ve just aid no, there was no reason to go off on my appearance, I already knew he wasn’t physically attracted to me after the first no. I felt he was being kind of condescending. He continued to “comfort” me afterwards, saying he was sure I would find a good guy, looks aren’t everything, to keep my head up, etc. It was also really embarrassing because his friend was there and could hear everything going on. He looked really awkward and uncomfortable.

I went home and was obviously pretty bummed. My brother noticed and asked why so I told him and he told me the guy was TA. I kind of ranted about it to to three of my friends in a group chat and they agreed there was no need to list the reasons why he wouldn’t date me. At the end I calmed down and said I was over it, we talked about other stuff.

I guess one of my friends must have told friends and apparently he found out, he reached out to me on social media and said I was a bitter bitch. AITA ######

Response: NTA. He is suck an a-hole. Here was no need to take it as far as he did, and really who cares what he thinks. Really you lucked out here. Now you know he is a douche and can move on to another.. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March.

Today he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.

I’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half.

My boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people.

WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA. He is learning unfortunate consequences.

And the good thing is he won't be out money, which is the silver lining. ######


Prompt:
My SO is 300 miles away with his family.

We live together on a ground floor apartment. I spent the weekend with him and his family and he asked me to keep the blinds closed when I go back to our city, to which I agreed because it seemed reasonable given the riots. When I actually came back to our city, around noon I went to grab lunch and noticed that the neighborhood was actually completely calm, safe and sunny. There is a peaceful gathering by city hall three blocks away, which I even joined for a few seconds and felt no danger. I opened the blinds back up after coming back home, at least until the streets are calm.

Not long after, he calls me up, tells me that his friends have noticed that the blinds were open and orders me to close them again. I explain to him why I opened them, seeing how I have more information about my safety that he does, but calmly agree to close them again.

This should have been it, but he proceeded to talk to me like "I knew you wouldn't listen" etc., at which point I blew and started yelling at the top of my lungs stuff like "stop treating treating me like a fucking child, that I can determine when I'm feeling safe better than you can over the internet" etc.

He says "I will never forgive you for yelling at me like that. Fuck you" and hangs up.

AITA? I actually apologized for yelling, but he's not having it and doesn't feel like he has anything to apologize for. ######

Response: Nta. He is being controlling and having a friend report on you to him is weird. Also the whole thing about knowing you wouldn't listen is a huge red flag. ######


Prompt: This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######

Response: NTA. He is being astonishingly insensitive. He can perfectly well find someone else to dump his insecurities on who he won't be implicitly insulting with every word. ######


Prompt:
I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool.

While we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23)
They would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice.

The topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to)

Anyway I dropped it.

Now we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.
Yesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine)
I told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him.

WIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######

Response: NTA. He is a grown adult, he can make his own decisions. I’m guessing that if she regrets her own tattoos, she’s asking you not to tattoo him so that he doesn’t regret his own tattoos. But I think that’s his own call to make; she can’t dictate what he does anymore. ######


Prompt:
I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything.

Now it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad.

Well tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know?

Boy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######

Response: NTA. He is 100% out of line ######


Prompt:
Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family.

Am the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell?

Had the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago

Edit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion.

AITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me

Edit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######

Response:
 NTA. He insisted on the secrecy because he didn’t want anyone influencing your decision except him, and in doing so, he cut you off from potential sources of support when he had no intention of playing by his own rules. You have every right to be angry.

And he’s been making comments on your body? No, no, no.

Have you confided in any friends yet? You deserve support, and it does not sound like you will get that from your BF as he’s made you responsible for his anxiety as well. ######


Prompt:
    So for a little bit of back ground, Me(18F) and my friend (18M) who we’ll call John for the sake of this, dated back in middle school and ever since then we’ve had a rough on and off friendship. He’s asked me out over a dozen times even when he’s had other girlfriends and he still hasn’t taken the hint, he constantly asks for sex from me and I’ve humored the idea once or twice thinking he was joking. But apparently he wasn’t.

   He has been dating this girl who we’ll call Jane. They have been off and on and throughout most of their relationship and I was NC with John for about six months due to other issues. But back to the story, yesterday he texted me asking for a handjob or a blowjob because he was bored so I asked him if he was being serious and he said yes, and I asked him if his gf knew about this and he said no. Then I commented that I had more respect for his gf who I’ve never met than he does.

   Later that night I decided to say fuck it and used my friends fake account to text her saying that he’s been trying to sleep with me and that it’s been like this for a while. He then texted me frantically begging me not too and that he loves her and he’ll do anything for me to not tell her. Then he started texting my friend begging her not too. I don’t think I’m quite the A-hole here because I was in the same situation and I never would have known that my ex was cheating on me if nobody had told me, aita? ######

Response:
 NTA. He has been pestering you repeatedly for years despite you constantly saying no. He has also been like this whilst with several different girls. Texting you out of the blue asking for sexual favours is just disgusting and this behaviour is disrespectful to you and the girls he is dating.

If he loved his girlfriend he wouldn’t do this. He probably loves the sex but not his girlfriend. This guy has a seriously worrying attitude towards women and thinks he can treat them as sexual playthings. His girlfriend deserves to know exactly how much of a cretin he is, and he deserves to learn that actions have consequences. Accepting this behaviour and ignoring him has not solved the issue. ######


Prompt:
A little backstory:
I wanted to get a new gaming chair for my office, and I needed to get rid of my old office chair. It cost me about 130 five years ago, and it’s held up really well all the time. It’s one of those soft leather ones with arm rests, and it leans back pretty far. That part is important.

My boyfriend also has an office chair that he uses while playing ps4 in the living room. He bought it from a friend for about 30 dollars, and it’s not as comfortable or nice as my old one. It’s made of hard plastic, has some weird mesh for a seat, and isn’t as wide.

I planned to offer my old office chair to my little brother who just started online school, but since it’s nicer than my boyfriend’s, I asked my boyfriend if he’d want to give his to my brother and take my old one. He agreed. I asked several times if he was sure, and even told him we could always trade them back if he didn’t like mine, but after a couple weeks he admitted mine was way more comfortable.

Here’s where the trouble starts. My boyfriend is a pretty muscle-y guy, he’s lifted weights for years and weighs somewhere around 230. He also loves to lean back hard in the chair when he’s gaming, especially when he’s drinking too. A couple weeks ago, after having the chair for a few months with no issues, he leaned back and the arm snapped. It didn’t break off and he seemed to think it was pretty funny, but tonight he finally broke it.

Now he says I owe him a new chair because his old one never would’ve broken, and that I “made” him trade me. I told him that I never made him do anything and gave him plenty of chances to change his mind, and that he is the one who broke it by being so rough on it. I’m broke and in school right now, so I couldn’t really afford get him a new chair even if I wanted to, but I don’t think this is on me.

So, am I the asshole for telling him that I don’t owe him a new chair? ######

Response:
 NTA. He had time to think about the trade and accordingly agreed to it.

Don't give the old chair back to your bf since your bro needs it for online schooling.

The situation sucks but your boyfriend wasn't careful with your chair and broke it. ######


Prompt: So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said "my boyfriend made me do it" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said "well i found it hilarious" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them  both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying "i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ######

Response: NTA. He forcibly made you participate in his kink without your consent. That is never okay and if your friend was any kind of friend at all she wouldn't be defending such awful behavior. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.

Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.

I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.

I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).

Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.

He hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.

So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ######

Response: NTA. He easily could have deleted the messages from his phone not realizing they would stay on the watch. ######


Prompt:
Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered.

So AITA for not being more hospitable? ######

Response: NTA. He doesn't deserve hospitality. He did this to himself. ######


Prompt:
This happened on Valentine's day, but it's still on my mind. For context, we're 24/25 years old and had only been dating for 2 months at this time. We've since broken up.

Anyways, I had a pretty gnarly upbringing and as a result don't see myself having children. My boyfriend at the time was aware of my childhood. On Valentine's day, we had plans for the evening but were hanging out at his place during the day. We got into a conversation about our parents, and I mentioned offhandedly that something they did was one of the reasons that I don't particularly want kids. BF at the time was clearly shocked and upset by this and ignored me for awhile. He then...chastised me? That's what it felt like, at least, about ruining the day by bringing up such a sensitive topic on Valentine's day. We did end up going to dinner, but it was awkward and unpleasant because he was still cold shouldering me and clearly upset.

I ended the day feeling really ashamed and embarrassed, and like I was the asshole even though I didn't intend to ruin the day.

Was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He didn't know you didn't want kids and you didn't know he wanted kids. It's 2 months in a relationship. He overreacted and no one should be shamed into not wanting children or forced into having any. ######


Prompt:
So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling.

I’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts.

It’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading.

Not only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example

If I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day!

It’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because

A. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and
B. It may just actually be a coincidence

So to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me

I wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said

“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”

When he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating.

I told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA?

TLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######

Response: NTA. He deserved it for reading your diary. That's invasive as fuck and he had no right to read it. ######


Prompt:
Ok so this happened years ago and apparently I am still dark on the subject so good people of Reddit let me know AITA?

I lived in a share house where all flat mates paid equal rent. One flat mate used the garage on the property to store his motorcycle (the rest of us had cars so parked on the road or in the driveway). Anyway one weekend I had organised a party and not wanting to create mess in the house told my flat mates me and my friends would drink in the garage... they agreed that was fine (and were invited to join the festivities) anyway the one flat mate who had the motorcycle in the garage said ‘I’ll move my bike out for the night so it doesn’t get knocked over”. All good wouldn’t really have been in danger but I get it. So he goes to wheel his bike out of the garage and while doing so smashes the brake light. He then says I need to pay for it as it’s my fault he had to move it. If I hadn’t organised a party he would not have had to move it so it’s on me to pay to replace the brake light.

I disagreed as we all pay equal rent so I have as much right to use the garage as he does and it was his decision to move the bike out for the night. He wasn’t happy with that and after talking to my Dad (I was only 19 at the time) I reluctantly agreed to pay for a new brake light.

Years later I still think he was a total dick about it and I shouldn’t have had to pay up. So reddit AITA for thinking he was totally unreasonable and taking advantage of the situation? ######

Response: NTA. He damaged his own bike and you’re right, you can use the garage as much as he can. ######


Prompt:
Just before COVID I movies into an apartment with someone I knew through a friend. He’s a really great guy and I pay half the rent, and as long as I pay my half, he cannot enter my room. This is just because I am a very private person, and is nothing personal against him. A few days ago I had gone shopping, and returned to find him searching through my files on my computer in my room, with my closet door opened. I ask him what he’s doing and he gets mad at me for having firearms (I had both real and airsoft in my closet) and certain applications and files on my computer. I told him that he couldn’t go through my stuff as per our agreement, which was written on paper and signed by both of us. He claimed that it was void as I has not payed my half. I pulled up my banking app and showed him that I had indeed payed my half. He got very defensive and claimed that he was not going to have “illegal items” in his apartment (All of my firearms were legal) or a “gay motherfucker” living with him (I’m Pansexual, he looked through my files and history on multiple applications and websites). Many of these files and web application histories contained very personal things which not even my family or closets friends knew, including alternate and private accounts. Currently I have no other places to stay, and have since installed a personal lock onto my door. He hasn’t apologized or said anything to me for the past few days. I told him that unless he apologized I would be pressing charges for privacy invasion.
AITA in this situation? ######

Response: NTA. He crossed the line simply by entering your room. ######


Prompt:
I was always chubby. As a kid, a teen, adult. I got rid of my scale years ago but my mother bought me a new one because she noticed I didn't have one.

I was 145 when I got pregnant with my oldest child (BMI was 25.8 which isn't terrible.) And 175 after giving birth to the youngest. So almost 5 years ago, I set a target to be 145 again.

Took me over a year but I did it. I was pretty fucking happy. Told DH and he smirked and said "oh I thought your goal was 132." I actually burst into tears. Told him that bothered me immensely and to not make fun of this because it's an issue for me and he knows it.

I was no longer happy with my weight because of it. It took nearly another year until I got down to 132.

Then DH said "oh wasn't your goal 122?"
So I tried but couldn't do it and it messed me up for like 8-9 months. Then I refocused, changed my habits and somehow accomplished it. I hadn't been in the 120s ever in my adult life.

He said "oh wasn't your goal 115?"
So I lost another seven pounds.

And then he said "your goal should really be 88 lbs." I'm obviously not doing this, but I also can't be happy about the 60 lbs I did lose, and that I've maintained this weight for over a year now.

DH says I "can't take a joke." I say "it's not a joke if you know something is a trigger for the other person and you say it anyway." And then double down. Repeatedly.

I really need some outside perspective. AITA or am I just oversensitive like he claims?

Tl;dr lost weight, husband "joked" I needed to lose more. Lost more, he set a new "joking" target. Then did it again. And again. ######

Response: NTA. He could MAYBE have thought it was a joke the first time, but after it clearly bothered you there’s no excuse for him to repeatedly mention a new, lower “goal” weight. He sees how this “joke” affects you, and yet he continues to make the same comments. Please don’t feel pressured to conform to any “goal” he sets on YOUR body. Your goal weight should be what you feel healthiest and most comfortable at. You’re not overreacting, he’s just TA. ######


Prompt:
AITAH I told  my husband he was a dick for giving me a workout dvd

Okay, minor AITAH but... I’m 8 months pregnant & we are going thru everything that was in our new nursery.  I(31F) asked him(36M) (husband) to go thru the dvds I:e tooons (those HUGE CD holders) of bootleg movies, porn, past boxing & UFC fights ETC. music too...
but he found a workout (golds gym or something I never signed up for)& he said ‘you might want this’
I called him an asshole (I’m in my 9th month of pregnancy & a little sensitive about my body) but I reacted & he told me it was ‘only for after’ but I was still hurt & I said some mean things ... AITAH? ######

Response: NTA. He could have asked IF you wanted it, if he had to say anything at all. ######


Prompt:
I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.
I also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.

So one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.

Still some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He cheated not his sister and she was the one that told you so you could end it. He can deal with whatever fallout between him and his wife but he doesn't get to decide who his sisters friends are. He shouldn't have cheated and this wouldn't be a problem for him. ######


Prompt:
My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.

First quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.

Last quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.

I told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ######

Response: NTA. He can't claim he's jobless because of you after you asked him to quit a year ago. He's had plenty of opportunity to look, and he really should be looking instead of nagging you. ######


Prompt:
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.

My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######

Response: NTA. He can help what he's saying. High functioning autism doesn't cause animal abuse. Many people with autism lead rich, fullfilling lives, and those that have high-functioning often blend right in. They've just got a unique way of seeing things aren't them. It doesn't cause them to be horrible pet owners. This guy is simply an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My brother is big into activism, especially about racial identity. He talks a lot about white privilege and stuff like that. Fyi, we are Indians from Kashmir, and I'd say our entire family honestly looks pretty white-- pale skin, colored eyes (which is somewhat common in Kashmir/north India, I think), and hair that's more brown than black.

Anyways, he was writing an essay for the school paper, which for whatever reason publishes even during summer break, and he wanted me to proofread it, as he considers me a better writer than him. He has a line where he says, 'as a person of color, I've often felt judged for my brown skin'. This stood out to me, because *our skin isn't brown.* It's pale af. Like the color of milk. So I told him he should remove it. He asked why, and I told him, 'bro, you basically look white. We \[our family\] all do. Our teachers are shocked when they hear our names, so are our neighbors and everyone we know. Everyone will cringe if you keep this.'

He got defensive and started denying this, then stormed off angrily. I was just proofreading like he asked, and just told the truth to try to help him out-- he looks white af, and to act like he's dark skinned makes me cringe. And I think it'll make other people cringe too. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He can claim to be a person of color all he wants but to say his skin is brown when it's not is something strange to be fixated on. He can talk about people's reactions when he says his name. ######