Prompt:
This happened back in September, but it's still a tension point for me. I'm nearly 60, and I have two daughters. First one is 26, still lives with me rent-free while she works full-time. Second one is 21 and in her last year of college.

My first daughter, who we'll call A, went to a state school and commuted from home and so her college tuition wasn't too hard on me, and she has no debts. Since she lives at home for free she's been able to save a lot of money. She helps here and there with groceries and such, but not nearly enough. My younger daughter, "D", chose to go to a private university out of state that's very costly, but I wanted her to have the full college experience and enjoy herself. However it's become very expensive for me to keep up with her tuition, rent, and sorority payments. The beginning of last semester I was about $12,000 short.

I asked A in September if I cold borrow $12,000 for her sister's tuition, promising that I would pay her back within the month. She didn't react well and said no, saying that she was uncomfortable with that and why couldn't her sister just take out a loan? But I don't want that, as D isn't very responsible with money and I don't want her to have that on her plate. As a result, I had to do a ton of extra work and dip into my stocks to pay off the tuition. I'm still pretty upset that A wouldn't loan me the money. We're family, does she not trust me? And I let her live here rent free, why can't she help out her sister? AITA? ######

Response: YTA, it's not your daughters job to finance her sister's university. As she said, either you should take a loan and pay for it yourself or the sister should. Just because she lives with you rent free doesn't mean you get to demand $12,000 for her sister's university course. ######


Prompt:
So in February my sister (12f) confided in me (21f) that she had started her period. Our mom died about four years ago so she didn’t feel comfortable telling our dad just yet. I told him and he had a conversation with her about it. I wanted to make her more comfortable with the whole concept of her starting puberty and stuff so I decided I would throw her a surprise period party. My intention wasn’t necessarily to embarrass her, like it’s my job as her older sister to humiliate her but I mainly just wanted to make her more comfortable.

I went all out. I got balloons printed, banners printed, made a cake with a pool of red icing and a barbie sitting in it, and I invited all her friends. My dad knew of the party and didn’t approve of the idea, but let me do it as he thought I knew what was best. He took my sister out shopping in the morning whilst we were preparing and then we could surprise her. A few of our family members were there too.

She came home and I was expecting her to find it hysterical. All her friends were saying they wish someone had done it for them and thought she’d find it funny. The second she walks through the door and realises what’s going on she starts crying and runs upstairs to her room, apparently absolutely mortified. I went upstairs to talk to her and she said I had completely humiliated her and that she didn’t want such personal business being spread around by me. She hadn’t told her friends she’d started her period yet. I apologised but told her I thought she’d like it and she told me to get the fuck out of her room.

I spoke to my dad after and we decided that I’d go stay with one of my friends until my sister had calmed down because she was being so over dramatic. Then quarantine happened and I was stuck at my friends house. I went back home today and my sister is still absolutely furious with me and being so dramatic. My dad is saying I was way out of line. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, it was her personal business and you spread it to anyone who would listen. why would a 12 yr old be thrilled about people knowing whats going one with her uterus.  what in the ever loving fuck made you think this was a good idea. I sincerely hope this is a troll. ######


Prompt: My fiance and I had booked a weekend at a glamping resort for a weekend in April. We paid in full for the two nights upfront and they have a zero refund cancellation policy, however, if you cancel in time they will issue a credit to be used at a later date. Now, due to covid the reservation was canceled, and we were issued a credit. When we reached out to book at a later date during the summer they are charging us more since it is high season, and when we asked about our options for booking at the original rate they told us to book during the week or later in the year (November through March, not on a holiday). We feel our money is now being held hostage and we either have to pay more or book at a bad time so I called and disputed the charge with our credit card. We normally wouldn't try to get the money back but because of covid we don't know what the future will hold and we don't know if the credit would even cover a trip in the future due to their policies. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, it sucks that they didn't offer a refund considering it was cancelled due to COVID but you paid and likely signed a contract accepting the terms of no refund. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you're entitled to your money back and the bank will probably not accept the charge back because you agreed to this ######


Prompt:
I’m using a throwaway because she knows my main. So basically, my girlfriend and I live together. Everyday when we’re about to have whatever meal or anything, she closely inspects each and every glass, plate, fork, knife, etc.

They way she inspects it is by firstly sliding it through her fingers (she washes her hands before doing so) to feel if there’s anything stuck on, and then she brings it up close to her face to look closer. It’s really irritating and I’ve asked her to just wash everything herself if she has such an issue with these stuff, but she ignores me.

Whenever we used to go to restaurants, although she would never put her hands all of the glass and utensils, she’d still look closely at them before using, and imo that’s just an embarrassing thing to do in public.

Last night, I tried to have a discussion with her about her behaviour, and she said that it’s just something she does and she can’t help it, because she feels gross if she doesn’t. I still don’t want her doing it because I feel gross knowing that her hands have been all over everything. It got pretty heated and I ended sleeping on the couch. This morning we still didn’t talk and now she’s at work.

So reddit, AITA here? ######

Response: YTA, it shouldn’t matter and it shouldn’t be her responsibility to do all the dishes just because you’re not thorough enough ######


Prompt:
English isn’t my first language, sorry if this is confusing to read.

I have been living with her and my best friend (M23) for a few months. Since she is a party girl who’s rarely at the apt at night and I had classes we rarely saw each other until now because we are stuck here.

This girl has some weird food habits. She peels hotdogs. She won’t let food touch on her plate and eats all of one thing, then all of the next. She acually won’t eat rice or beans because she can’t eat the grains one by one. She disassembles the pizza, eats the condiments separately and disposes of the tomato sauce and bread part... and many more. I used to think it was funny.

Two days ago I made spaghetti for dinner. She told me that she won’t eat pasta with any kind of sauce and that even the smell of tomato sauce made her sick so I cooked the sad, sauceless spaghetti the way she liked and put the sauce on the side. At dinner, she started picking the ”pieces” of the spaghetti and eating them one by one. With her hands.

I asked her what the hell she was doing and she became defensive. She told me she always washes her hands before eating so I told her it’s still gross and that I don’t want to see this and that either she leaves the table or I do. She left and locked herself in her room. My friend then told me that was not nice and we talked about it during dinner. I don’t think I’m wrong, but since she isn’t very good at dealing with her feelings, I figured I should apologize and suck it up.

Yesterday I tried to apologize to her but she’s ignoring me. She’s been eating everything with her hands ever since. I don’t know what she’s trying to do but it makes me sick and when it’s meal time and she starts eating with her hands I say the same thing I did: either you leave or I do.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA, it seems like perhaps she has some sort of compulsion, perhaps OCD? She clearly feels defensive about it, you don't need to continue to push her on it. If you don't want to eat with her, don't eat with her, but don't keep arguing with her about it. ######


Prompt:
So the situation is a bit sad all around.
We are two sisters, I'm the oldest, I'm 28. My little sister is 22 and in university. Our dad is kind of a deadbeat, so we just have our mother, who is 51.

Our mother really really wants grandchildren. She loved being a mother, she misses having little kids around. All her friends and colleagues are becoming grandparents right now and it's making it even worse for her.

Here is the thing. I want children as well, unfortunately I am infertile. It is extremely hard for me and my husband. We can't afford alternative ways of conceiving. My husband doesn't want to adopt, and I'm not too sure about it myself anyway. So we have to live with the grief of being forcibly childless. I know learning it was extremely hard on my mother. Of course she was sad for me, but she was also sad fpr herself. But there was still my little sister left.

My little sister has often said she didn't want children but in all honesty, she is 22. And she started saying it as a teenager because she knew it pissed off our mother.
A week ago, she confided to me that she got sterilized a few months ago. I honestly had no idea someone would ever be willing to sterilize someone so young, it's crazy to think about. She said she doesn't know yet when/if she'll tell our mother, because she knows it will be a mess. Honestly...If you aren't ready to tell your own mother, then you aren't ready for sterilization, but whatever it's too late anyway.

I think it is unfair to keep our mother hanging and hoping like that. Especially since my little sister met her boyfriend, our mother has been very hopeful. Of course she wants her to finish her studies, but she thinks grandchildren are definitely in her future. She talks about it, about what kind of grandma she will be. It's unfair to her, I think it would hurt her more to learn about it later. So, WIBTA for telling her about the sterilization? ######

Response:
 YTA, in no way is that your information to share.

Also,

>If you aren't ready to tell your own mother, then you aren't ready for sterilization

This is nonsense. Plenty of people don't share intimate medical details with their parents, that doesn't mean they are too immature to make those decisions. ######


Prompt:
I know, it sounds like a favor. But isn’t this also a bit of being nosy?

We are all at their retreat and having a nice time. He doesn’t say much: takes his ultrasonic turbo jet and decides to wash my car. Granted, my car was dirty. But isn’t that my call to make?

So then my wife asks why I didn’t go compliment my in-law because he washed my car. Mind that this is a somewhat repetitive behavior of his: mind other people’s business. Gee, he hands me napkins when he sees my hands are dirty because I *might* need them.

So fine, he wanted to wash it with my 4 year old, that was considered at some point, and I also didn’t like that because it’s a dad-son thing I could do myself. But I’d be ok with that. Yet, my 4yo didn’t join him, and he still didn’t give up the idea. He spent 2 hours washing my car, when nobody asked him to.

Of course, I’ll say eventually that yeah, looks great, thanks. But if I’m to be honest, I don’t like that. It’s like saying “your car is too dirty” or something.

To illustrate my point to my wife, I said “imagine by mom entering our house, removing our curtains and laundering them. What would you make of it?”.

So, AITA for not being particularly pleased? ######

Response:
 YTA, I’m not sure what your issue is with your FIL, but you are being unreasonable.

He hands you napkins when your hands are dirty? What a travesty.

He wanted to wash the car with his grandson? Then you whine that should be a father/son activity.

Some people are appreciative when others do things for them. It may also be part of your FIL’s love language, acts of service. He may not vocalize how he feels about you, but he shows he cares for you by doing things for you that he believes to be kind. ######


Prompt:
I am a fourteen year old guy.
My birthday is in sixteen days, and my mom is asking for birthday ideas. (Where we should go, what I want, etc)
It’s quite obvious I can’t go to the local amusement park like I wanted. Last year, instead of asking for a gift, I asked if a friend and I could go there. It was really fun, so I wanted to go again. But, like I said, that’s obviously out of the picture.

I told my mom a while back, that for my birthday, from all my family, I only wanted one of two things.
Either a cat, or a dirt bike.
I specifically told her if I got a cat, I’d pay adoption fees, I’d take care of it, and id pay for its food.
And if I got a dirt bike, it didn’t have to be expensive. It could be a used one that’s seconds from falling apart, as long as it worked.

Well, it was a no to both.
She keeps telling me that if I don’t make up my mind for other birthday ideas, I’ll get nothing.
Every time I show mild interest in something, she pretends like I worship and want twenty of them.
She finds every chance she can to push the cat or dirt bike topics out of the picture.

She keeps suggesting I ask for a game, or gaming console, but I don’t want something that will stop me from going outside.

TL:DR; Mom won’t get me one of the two presents I want despite the fact I said I’d help pay for most of them even though they aren’t that expensive in the first place. ######

Response:
 YTA, I'm sorry. I remember being a teenager that just wanted to enjoy life and have the means of doing it, but it's bigger than your mom not getting you what you asked for. The cat becomes a presence in her home, and she has to smell the litterbox, engage with your cat, potentially deal with veterinarian things in the future, and so on. The dirtbike could be a safety thing, and she also has to transport you wherever you want to ride your dirtbike, store it, and so on.

You're asking for things that change your mom's life, too. Parents' rules don't always make sense to a teen, and it feels stifling to have any rules when you're getting ready to be an adult. It's going to be pretty great to grow up, adopt a cat, and ride your dirtbike into the sunset. Until then, think of something else you want to save your fifteenth birthday. ######


Prompt:
I (23F) was out at a club a couple weeks ago in the pre Covid era with a few friends, including Jane (22F) and my boyfriend Brad (24M). We'd just got inside and Brad left to go to the bathroom, leaving me and Jane alone at the bar. It was super loud and Jane was trying to get the barman's attention. A guy who I'd never met before started hitting on me in a pretty gross way, and I told him I wasn't interested, but he didn't let up. I don't think Jane heard any of this going on because it was so loud in there. I then told the man that I was here with someone, and he said "well I don't see him," as if he didn't believe me, and Brad showed no signs of coming back any time soon, so in a moment of desperation I grabbed Jane around the waist and kinda hauled her onto my lap and said "this is my girlfriend."

The guy finally backed off then, but Jane was really pissed with me because I'd grabbed her and pretended to be her girlfriend without asking her first if it was OK. I told her that it was my last resort and I didn't know what else to do, and she tentatively forgave me, but then yesterday we were all having a Zoom group chat for another friend's birthday and Jane wasn't there. I offhandedly asked someone why Jane hadn't turned up, and someone said that she still felt weird around me after "the girlfriend thing." Apparently she still felt super uncomfortable about me grabbing her like I had. AITA here? I really didn't see that I had any other choice but as a woman I can also appreciate that it was maybe scary for her to just be grabbed in a club. ######

Response:
 YTA, I'm sorry. Don't understand all these N.T.A., to be honest. Am I the only one who read that you grabbed her and threw her in your lap?

I think just **saying** that Jane was your girlfriend in a moment of desperation is OK, but why did you have to physically force her into a pose of intimacy? I don't know what kind of relationship you two have, some female friends can be pretty touchy-feely with one another without any sexual undertones, but if Jane felt uncomfortable, I don't think that's the kind of rapport you had pre-established. Pretty ironic that you felt encroached upon by someone and then did the same thing to Jane.

Apart from all of this, I do want to give you some important life advice: don't say you're a lesbian to get rid of an insistent guy. You were lucky this time, but I can tell you from experience that it almost never works. In the best case scenario, the guy just gets more turned on, or feels like you're offering him a challenge. Worst case scenario, he could get violent. This situation could have become dangerous very quickly. ######


Prompt:
I’m 24 and am about to finish my first year as a kindergarten teacher. Sadly not the end of the year I hoped, but oh well. This story is about this girl I went to high school with who I’ll call Cal. Cal and I were never particularly friends in high school, we actually did not care for eachother.

She was very loud an obnoxious, and because she was one of the prettier girls in the grade, nobody ever told her to stfu or that she’s being super annoying. Well, besides me. I have known her since we were in 1st grade so I don’t really have a problem with calling her out.

With teacher appreciation week just ending, I of course shared a lot of things on Facebook about being a teacher and how badly I miss my students. Cal did the same thing, albeit a bit more extreme. She posted many things a day about how she can’t wait to get back to her “students” and she misses getting to “experience them learning”.

I put all that in quotes because Cal works at an after school day care center. She does not have a degree in education, I don’t think she has a degree at all. She is not a licensed teacher. She does not have students, she is essentially a babysitter.

I commented on one of her posts, sarcastically congratulating her, asking what grade she taught and if she had any good lesson plan ideas for online classes. My comment was deleted right away, and she messaged me calling me a bitch. Saying that she knew I was trying to make fun of her, but she’s just as much of a teacher as I am since “we work with the same age kids”.

Maybe I was a bit petty, but it’s kind of funny. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA, I'm sorry to say.  I have 3 college degrees and taught for 31 years. Many of the para professionals (teaching assistants)  I worked with were talented and dedicated teachers, though they did not have degrees.

 It sounds like she was a mean girl in high school but you are acting like one now.  Please grow up.  she took nothing away from you by her posts. ######


Prompt:
So last summer my boyfriend (20M) went on an archeological dig in Central America with his professor. He was to be there on the dig with her for 2 weeks and then travel as a tourist with a friend (independent of the professor or university) for 3 weeks. I was having a pretty rough time mental health wise back home and had asked him to call or at least text every night, just so I at least knew he was okay.

He missed one night and the following night I asked him what happened and if everything was okay. He said that he and his professor had gone out the previous night clubbing/bar-hopping and then ended up getting really drunk and spending the night at a stranger's house.

I was of course angry at him for being inconsiderate and overall unfeeling about my position, but I was also concerned that the professor had engaged in this behavior with him. After a few weeks I anonymously reported what had happened to the university--I just couldn't get it out of my head, what would I do if in a few years there was a story of someone being hurt because of them and I hadn't done anything about it? When my boyfriend found out he blew up at me and called me petty, selfish, and dangerous, and that he would never be able to trust or love me again.

This has been several months ago now, but it still hurts. Was I in the wrong? In hindsight I wish I had spoken in person with the head of the department and told by bf what I was going to do before I did it, but I still think it was right to say something. He says no and that I have too much faith in authority and that my morals are guided by just whatever the law/rule. I don't think that at all (if I did wouldn't I have reported him for dealing weed long ago?) but I love him so much, and I believe he loved me. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, I see nothing wrong here from the prof or your boyfriend or ex most likely. Fuck you are possessive.. ######


Prompt:
Background info
I’m 16. My dad married my stepmom like two years ago.

My step mom and I aren’t friendly but we don’t fight. We are just so-so. I’m not crazy about her. She likes to knit and make clothes and for me and my brother. They are always butt ugly.

Last school year my dad didn’t even get my brother and I back to school clothes, he just tried to make us wear her weird 1976 pilgrim clothes. I hate them. I had to beg my mom to get me a couple of outfits that I could actually wear.

My dad gave my brother and I the task of going through our clothes. We tend to give things that we can’t wear anymore to our cousins.

I was trying on clothes and posting silly Instagram stories. A lot of them were in her ugly clothes, and my friends and I had fun roasting them. Then I brought them all down to the pile for going to my cousins.

My step mom didn’t say anything about it at first, but when my dad got home for work they both confronted me about the Instagram stories the clothes.

I said that the clothes were ugly af and I didn’t want to wear them. They both started yelling at me and telling me to take down the ig stories. My dad wants me to apologize and take back the clothes. I don’t want them, so I refused.

They started calling me ungrateful, and just generally losing it. My dad has taken the rest of my clothes from my room and is demanding that I take back the ugly clothes that my stepmom made, and apologize for making fun of her on IG.

I don’t think I should be forced to wear the clothes, nor do I think my stepmom has any business sticking her nose in my social media. My brother says that I should have just put the clothes in a donation box or something to avoid trouble, and that I messed up here. He thinks I was an asshole for being so direct. AITA for trying to get rid of these clothes in her face? ######

Response: YTA, I agree with your brother. If you hate a gift you don't blab about it for the world to see, you just say thank you to the gift giver and quietly get rid of the gift later. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I have split custody of our daughter, I get certain days of the week and he gets the others and we split through weekends.

This year, Father’s Day comes on a day that my daughter stays with me for the weekend up until the week, and I told her that she couldn’t go to his house on Father’s Day because of that and also because it would be too much of a hassle to get her from my house to his back to mine for just one day. My ex texted me today asking why the fuck can’t he just have this one day and I told him straight up. I don’t take any bullshit and I believe it’s only fair. If this happened to me I would let him take her for the day even though it was Mother’s Day. He called me heartless and now my mother is reprimanding me for this. I don’t believe I’m in the wrong because it’s only what the schedule says I can’t help that. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, he should be allowed to see his daughter on his day. Father’s day is a month away, work something out in your schedule to let him have the extra day then, and you take an extra day after or something ######


Prompt:
My son has a gaming pc that he built himself many years ago. He saved up for it himself and put it all together on his own. Fast forward to now, and I find out one of the parts he bought for his PC was faulty. This meant that they were giving out $30 to anyone who had bought one and could prove the purchase. I then applied for the payout and kept the money for myself. When I went into my sons room to tell him the news, he was pretty upset he wasn’t getting the money. He insisted he deserved it since he was the one who bought all the parts/put it together, but I explained to him it was just his birthday and I spent about $170 repairing your pc. Keep in mind, I’ve put lots of cash into repairing his computer over the years. AITA?

EDIT: some people are confused about the wording of the story, sorry about that. What I meant is he bought the parts for it, and I’ve paid for every repair/cleaning since then. ######

Response: YTA, he paid for the part, that $30 is therefore his. Are you really so immature you're going to steal from your son because it was his birthday recently and you spent money on him? ######


Prompt:
Sorry for the format, I’m on mobile.

So this happened a years ago, but it came up again and I wanted to know if I was wrong for how I responded.

So a little background, my family is big on their history, almost everything has been passed down through generations, including names. It’s been impressed upon each generation how “important” all of these pieces are. Furniture, jewelry, even the names. This brings us to the issue at hand, my great great grandmothers engagement ring.

I am the only girl in my generation and before my grandmother passed she said it would come to me and would only be given to me once I had graduated college. I was never allowed to see the ring, but everyone in the family would talk about it. The rarity of the cut the clarity of the diamond. I spent years dreaming of this ring, I was in high school when she died.

So when my graduation was coming up my parents had it appraised and insured. They called to tell me the price so I would understand the importance of it. This is where the issue might have occurred. They tell me the number and it was much lower than I had expected, under $10,000, which is expensive but I responded with “wait... that’s it?” They asked what I meant, and said “I thought it would have been worth way more”, they scoffed and said “Well! Sorry it wasn’t up to your taste queen!”

They got really angry and said I was an ungrateful child and had no sense of value. They “gave” me the ring for graduation in front of the family but then took it back for years saying since I didn’t appreciate it they would keep it. I have it now but not without a lecture of its value and how I still don’t appreciate it. I felt bad because it is a beautiful ring and I would never sell it, but I just felt so underwhelmed. AITA for what I said about the heirloom? ######

Response: YTA, family heirlooms are not just about how much they are worth, but the meaning that they have. Hence the term heirloom. ######


Prompt:
For some background. I am a F(17). My cousin just left high school. I don't like to talk to my aunts, uncles, cousins, or anyone in my family because i'm not a party person as them and like to keep to myself.

In this month of june. My cousin family wanted to throw a party during this time. I have a fitness watch for my fitness class I'm going to take in fall classes.

In the winter of 2019 cousin wanted to loss weight so she sign up for a gym but quit after a few months.

Knowing this. I wanted to gift her a fitness watch so she can track her running and over all fitness. I bought her a fitness watch with the basics (tracking her heart rate, tracking how much she run, walked, biked. Also could tell the time and date as well tell you when you are getting a call. No not an apple watch). I also got her a necklace that's says "class of 2020".

&#x200B;

When the party came. We got cake and everything went well.

Then her mom said "It's time my angel opens her gifts"

My cousin open gifts and was happy about them. My aunts thanks the person for giving the gift.

&#x200B;

THEN... was mine.

She open it and saw the watch

cousin "I like the watch and necklace OP."

Her mom looked at it closely and saw it was a fitness watch.

Anut: "HOW DARE YOU GIVE THIS GIFT TO HER?!?! OP!!!"

Me: "I thought she would like it."

cousin now seeing it's a fitness watch and the rest of my family as well.

Cousin: "really? OP just because i'm fat you give me this?"

Me: "No it's because --" i got cut off by my family saying i was horrible for giving her that gift. I felt bad i left the party. My aunt called my mom to say i was such an evil person.

&#x200B;

So reddit am i the asshole?

(sorry for mispelling) ######

Response:
 YTA, even if it was unintentional.

Fitness items like this, gym memberships, etc... All of these are very bad gifts to give to people if they do not *explicitly* ask you for them, for exactly this reason. Most everyone is self conscious about their body, but most especially overweight people, and it’s really hard not to take a gift like that the wrong way. ######


Prompt:
I am living overseas in a place that has the pandemic under control and want to return to the States having been offered my dream job, which I have worked 15 years to get. The problem is is that I am not willing to take my two small children (1 year and 3 years) with me. I do not mind risking my own health to travel to the States and work but I feel that bringing my children would be impossible right now- I do not have family that can care for them and I do not want to put them in daycare given the current situation. Their father has offered to take care of them during the pandemic so that I can take this job.

The problem is is that I feel like a shit mother if I leave my children behind. I have concerns about how fit their father is to care for them both full time without me there. He is a bit of a man-child (sorry, I know I am going to get burned for this) in the sense that I have to make all the decisions and do all of the cleaning and care giving for the children. He is content to have them eat dry cereal all day, every day and his interactions with the kids involves having them watch him play video games. I feel that if I do leave, even if it is only going to be for six months, they will not be properly cared for. My husband and I are on the verge of divorce over his parenting and other things - so much so that I had me and my childrens' plane tickets purchased to return to the states before the pandemic broke out.

AITA if I leave my children with their father for a short time to pursue my dreams? ######

Response:
 YTA, especially when you describe how they will be treated by their other parent. You're saying it is okay to risk your health (up to and including death) and are willing to do so knowing the other parent doesn't put their best interest first, all the while YOU won't be putting their best interest first by leaving them.

At what point do you show your concern about your children? ######


Prompt:
I'm sure plenty of guys are laughing at me now or saying "I wish I had this problem!" but here goes.

Both my wife (33F) and I (36M) are working at home now. It gives us more closeness and I'm trying to count blessings especially as we have different schedules.

However my wife has seemed to taken the opportunity to...basically never wear clothes. She works in nothing but her glasses and is doing some chores and cleaning naked too. I recently saw her cleaning and vacuuming the living room fully naked and she's even doing some cooking naked. She's not getting dressed when she rarely leaves the house. I asked her why and she basically gave a very passive aggressive response of why does she need to bother with clothes if she's not leaving the house and only I'm around.

Yeah I know I'm an idiot for complaining and so many guys are jealous of me now. However I honestly just find it a bit too weird and unnerving, kind of distracting since I'm trying to work too and frankly a little self-centered since she's obviously doing it for her gratification and not mine. I knew she had some exhibitionist tendencies before we married (which I enjoyed!) but I'm also a bit worried if she's exploring them in "other" ways in her study's privacy. I don't think it's too much to ask for her to put on a tank top and shorts most of the time and maybe let it be a special surprise to me when the clothes come off. Once again I have no doubt she's doing this because she wants to expose herself, not to give me a show, hence why she's not taking the hint.

Am I being a dumbass upset at a great thing or unreasonable? ######

Response:
 YTA, especially for this line:

>[she's being] a little self-centered since she's obviously doing it for her gratification and not mine

Seriously, what the fuck?  Her doing things for herself and not for you is being "self centered"?  Is it "self centered" when she wears comfortable clothes?  When she orders food that she wants at a restaurant?  When she wears makeup that she thinks looks good?  When she watches a movie that she wants to see instead of one that you want to see?

She just wants to be comfortable *in her own home*, and you're treating it like some sort of affront, and insinuating that, what, she's running a side gig as a camgirl or something?  I mean, what else could you be implying by:

>I'm also a bit worried if she's exploring [her exhibitionist tendencies] in "other" ways in her study's privacy.

Get a grip, dude.  Because you're coming off as a tad controlling, with what seems like a dash of kink-shaming to boot. ######


Prompt:
So, just to preface, my younger sisters (16&13 respectfully) eat all the 'normal' kinds of meat - sausages, bacon, steak, etc. However, my dad asked me to cook a stew and I'd never tried lamb's heart before (my dad has and absolutely enjoys it, so had no issue, but knew my sisters would refuse to even try it), so we told them it was normal steak. Anyway, after they'd eaten it and enjoyed it, I told them what they'd actually eaten and now my younger sister is refusing to talk to me. Am I the asshole?

It's healthier, leaner and tastes the same. Plus, my dad had no issue with it. ######

Response: YTA, don’t trick people into eating things. They’re not missing an essential aspect of life if they never try lamb’s heart. Even if they’re being excessively picky, it’s their problem, not yours. ######


Prompt: One of my best friends is getting married next year, and I agreed to be in the wedding and have bought my bridesmaid dress already. I recently found out that my ex-boyfriend will also be in the wedding. As far as I know, we will not be walking down the aisle together, but who knows? I was a little apprehensive about being in the wedding with him (I’ll get to why in a moment), but, my friend said that I could bring my current boyfriend to the wedding with me, and that made me feel a lot better. Now, I am not normally one to get flustered around an ex-boyfriend, but, after we broke up (about two years ago), and I started dating other men, I realized that he had talked me into doing things I didn’t want to do (namely, sex) on multiple occasions. Yesterday, as I was talking to my current boyfriend, he realized that he would not be able to come because they are getting new software at work the month of the wedding, and no one is allowed to take time off during that month while the staff adjusts. (I should also mention that this wedding is out of state and on a Thursday.) My ex-boyfriend is extremely close with both the bride and groom and especially with the bride’s family, and he and her younger brother are best friends. WIBTA for telling my friend that I would not be comfortable even attending the wedding with my ex there as long as my current boyfriend cannot go? ######

Response: YTA, don't make her feel like she has to choose, just bow out. ######


Prompt:
AITA for reporting a girl to HR for harassment?

There’s this really fucking annoying girl in my office, Sarah, who is constantly pissing most of us off. She will brag about all the dudes she fucked off of tinder, how much of a fascist racist fat pig trump is and constantly reminding us how he sucks ( i don’t think Politics should be brought into the office ever, office politics are bad enough, we don’t need real life politics into it too). She also eats like a pig, making messes and doesn’t wipe her mouth off and its nasty af. Her fingers are greasy and she touches my office supplies to get shit (without asking) and leaving greases all over.

Most people report this shit but its too minor and hard to prove that the grease is from her and they just say wipe it off and get over it. One thing HR doesn’t tolerate though is sexual harassment.

She was being obnoxious as usual making jokes about vaginas or something from Amy Schumer’s stupid netflix series and I told her she was being obnoxious and to not do that when we are trying to work. I hit record on my phone and let it sitting at my desk so it can see and hear everything. She responded with “suck my dick and balls, Its break time.”

I immediately went to HR who said that they wouldn’t do anything until i brought up the employee code of conduct and showed them by her saying “suck my dick and balls” its clear sexual harassment and a threatening gesture as she put her hands by her genitals. They decided they had to fire her. A lot of her friends are pissed at me and saying this was unecessary. My wife says this was minor petty shit and that since she went into drugs and depression its my fault. I say fuck this shit and fuck her ######

Response: YTA, could this be anymore fake? Good job writing though ######


Prompt:
Throw away because my girlfriend is on Reddit and knows my account.

Yesterday, my girlfriend showed me a building she was building in Minecraft. I asked her if I can look around the place, and when she went to the bathroom, I found a lot of TNT in one of the chests and thought it would be funny to prank her by exploding the place.

When she came back and saw it, she got **extremely** upset, almost as upset as one would be if they got their real house burned down. She even cried, and she now won't talk to me.

I thought it was just a game and not worth getting that angry over. I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life. It was meant to be a prank, but she's turning it to big deal. ######

Response: YTA, complete disrespect for her interests. ######


Prompt:
My (30F) husband (35M) and I have been married for two years. He has this group of five friends that he has been friends with since his freshman year of college. They are all very close, they have a group chat where they talk to each other almost daily. There are two women in this group, and one of them is my husbands first girlfriend. They dated for two years.

I am uncomfortable with them speaking to each other, but this friend group is a major support system for my husband. He was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to give up the relationships.

Yesterday was ex-girlfriends birthday. She had a very difficult year dealing with some health issues, and they were all ready to celebrate with her over Zoom. We even got a little dressed up for it. They popped champagne. They each wanted to go around and say something nice or share a memory.

My husband started his off by saying how beautiful she was, and complementing her musical talent (I don’t have rhythm to save my life). When he finished I muted him and asked him to complement me as well. He ignored me and turned up his mic to keep talking to his friends. I asked him again, this time so that his friends heard.

He got embarrassed and told me to leave. I stood firm and told him he was being disrespectful. Then his friends started piping in about me ruining their fake party and calling me names. I told him to correct them, and he instead joined them in telling me to leave.

As I walked off, they started venting about me, so I unplugged the router. I took the router and cables to my girlfriends house where I currently am. I’m feeling horrible. My husband has been calling me and we get into screaming matches whenever I answer the phone. I’ve gotten texts from a couple of his friends calling me names. Although my friend assures me I’m in the right, I’m feeling guilt, and I’ve never seen my husband so angry. AITA for unplugging the router? ######

Response:
 YTA, but not just for unplugging the router. You're basically saying

a. You're jealous your husband has friends that aren't your friends

b. You're insecure because your husband is still on friendly terms with an ex and cares about how she's doing (omg, what a  human thing to do!)

c. You're insecure because instead of also trying to celebrate you decide you need affirmation too and demand that it be provided to you

d. You have anger issues as a result of not having your ego stroked sufficiently and immediately

e. You're completely incapable of having a rational conversation. Let me guess who starts the screaming matches. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (21f) and I (20m) have been together about 6 months now. I met her at university but live about three hours away in a really small town. She was visiting at the time lockdown happened, so has been staying with my family and I. It’s been great and my family love her.

With restrictions being eased, my home friends decided to have a socially distanced catch up by a lake behind my friends house. They told me to bring my girlfriend so they could meet her for the first time. We get there and it’s great catching up with them, they’re loving my girlfriend and we’re a bit drunk. We decide to go on a bit of a walk by the lake and for a laugh I decide to push my girlfriend in. The lake isn’t deep at all so the fact she can’t swim isn’t even something I thought about. She struggled a bit before getting out. She seemed unbothered and laughed, until we got home.

My mom picked us up as it’s a half an hour drive and we were both drunk. She hardly said a word to me in the car so when we got back to the house I asked her what was going on. She started crying and asked why I tried to embarrass her like that. I was confused and told her it was just a joke and she got pissed off and decided to sleep in the spare room. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, but not for why you think. Your girlfriend probably wanted to make a good impression on your friends, and no body likes being made a fool of. I would even go so far as to say that she was very kind to not mention anything in front of your friends and start a fight.
I’m sure you may not have even thought it was embarrassing either! But if she didn’t know very many people on the trip then it kinda isolates her. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway due to friend following my account

So me (F30) and my boyfriend (M32) have found out we’re expecting our first baby. We couldn’t wait to tell everyone, but waiting until the 12 week mark to tell our friends and family.

So we hit the 12 week mark with zero problems. We tell our parents who are absolutely ecstatic and I decide to tell my 3 friends via zoom call on Friday night. I call them and we’re chatting so I decide to tell them my news. All three of them look incredibly happy for me and while two of my friends were asking me questions one of my friends (we’ll call her beth) suddenly shut off her camera.

My friends and I kept chatting and I just brushed it off that she went to the toilet or something. But when she came back, she was sniffing and looked like she had been crying. One of my friends asked her if she was ok and she said she was. Suddenly all of them were asking Beth if she was alright, even though she was insisting she was fine.

To be honest, I was getting annoyed with her  because of it. She has been struggling with fertility issues since she was 19 (now 30) and it was like she was making my news all about her. It felt like she was stealing my thunder, so I said to her “Look I get you’ve had fertility issues Beth but you don’t have to make everything about you”

She then logged off and my friends said i was being an asshole because I should be more sensitive to her needs. Frankly I think she should be more sensitive to mine as I’m the one who’s pregnant and who’s going through a life changing experience, not her.

It’s been a few days and Beth still hasn’t called to apologise, but my friends think I should. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, but not for the reason in the title. You have the right to tell your friends, and she has the right to cry, but what you said basically amounted to “hey, I recognize that you have struggled with something for more than a decade now, but I really couldn’t give two shits about your problems” she wasn’t trying to make it about her, if she was she wouldn’t have shit the camera off and would have instead done it all on camera.

Edit: HOLD UP. You got mad at someone crying over being upset because they had TWO LOSSES?? Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but two losses sounds like two miscarriages to me, and you would have known this. You’re wayyyyyyyyy TA here. And on top of that your apology was extremely backhanded. You don’t apologize and say “you still shouldn’t have gotten upset, but here’s an apology I guess” ######


Prompt:
My (f30) brother (40) met his wife (38) in college, they got married 10 years ago and now have two kids (f8 and m6). I never liked her much because I’ve always felt she’s just with him for his money, and I’ll explain why. They both finished their degrees but she never got a job out of it, he did. He earns a good salary but she has never worked to contribute to their household. Then they had kids and she would use the kids as an excuse to why she couldn’t work, which is whatever, but my niece and newphew are in school now and all she does during the day is go to yoga with her friends, and get her nails and face done. Me, on the other hand I’m a single mother of a 3 year old and work as well.
The other day we were on a family zoom call and brothers wife said “I’m so stressed right now” or something like that and it annoyed me so I said “I’m working and have a child to look after on my own what do you have to be stressed about?” Everyone went silent and my brother ended his call on the end. My Mom and Dad told me I was out of line but I explained that she is using my brother for his money so she can sit there and look pretty, they said they some what agree but it isn’t their business, well he is my brother and I care about him.
My brother sent me a text saying that until I apologise he doesn’t want me to around him, his wife or their kids.
I don’t see why I have to apologise just because I told it how it is.
AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, but I'll address the "you were out of line" issue. I think there is a question of etiquette here. The rules about what people should say when aren't just about what's true and how people feel, but what impact the rules themselves have on conversations. For example, why do many people have rules against discussing religion? Religion is important to people, questions of how the world is can be genuinely interesting to discuss... Why not discuss it? The answer is that religion is one of those subjects where people have very strong feelings, that tie into their identity and self-concept as good people, and where it is very hard for people who disagree to come to an agreement. So any conversation about religion risks invoking strong feelings, making people feel attacked to their deepest selves, with no resolution. Which means that if you have a conversation and religion is OK to be brought up, you need to be on your guard for the conversation turning contentious. But sometimes you don't want to have to be on your guard, you don't want to have to argue with people you otherwise like and get along with, you don't want to risk things getting so contentious that it risks the relationship; you want to stack the deck in favor of the conversation being positive and comfortable and relationship-building instead of -destroying. So you make a rule that you won't discuss religion.

In this case by attacking your SIL over her "I'm so stressed" comment you were making a rule in family conversations that if you comment on your difficulties, you might be attacked for it. That's not something most people want in conversations with their loved ones, and that's why there's usually a default setting of being supportive to people sharing their difficulties, even if you personally have negative thoughts about them. And this goes further, because I think you would generally agree with this default setting. I think you broke this rule with your SIL specifically because you don't acknowledge her as part of the family, as a "loved one" who is entitled to the comfort and freedom of being able to vent around you. And I think that's something you have to examine, and that's where your parents being "we kind of agree but you were out of line" goes, because you are clearly the only one who sees your SIL like that. Your brother sees her as his wife and loved one. Your parents have concerns about her, but accept her as your brother's wife and as deserving of consideration as a family member. So you really have a choice of getting with the program, which will help maintain a good relationship with your brother and the rest of the family, or continuing to dissent with the family consensus on what the family is, which might not end up in a way you like. Because it sure doesn't sound like your brother is leaving her any time soon.

ETA: aww, you guys like me! :) (that's right, "me", not "this comment", I know you are all validating me personally and I love you for it and will not hear otherwise) <3 to you all \^\^ ######


Prompt:
So I was out working in the yard for about 2-hours and I come in for a quick break from the son and catch my breath. As I walk in, my wife and kid wake up from their nap. I take him out of his play pen and shortly after my wife notices he has a dirty diaper. She proceeds to tell my son to come to me so that I can change his diaper. He never crawled to me and I just stayed on the couch relaxing. His diaper didn't get changed.

30-minutes later I see a scowl on my wife's face. I ask her why she is upset. Turns out, she was upset that I didn't change his diaper. AITA for not jumping up to change his diaper? ######

Response:
 YTA, buddy. You let your kid sit in his own filth because he didn't crawl to you on command?  It takes literally 2 min max to change one diaper. You took more time typing this up than that, I'd wager. Even if you needed to catch your breath, you could still change him after a few minutes and a drink.
You're supposed to be the grown up here, but it sounds like your wife has two babies on her hands. ######


Prompt: Happened earlier today. I decided to go for my evening run that I have been conducting everyday for the past couple weeks. On the route I take, there is a particular house that is a little bit worn down and has a small dog that does ape shit crazy every time someone walks by the house. The house is fenced off and the fence comes up to my waist. The small dog has been barking at me for the past three weeks, every time I run past the house. As I was jogging past the house this evening, like clockwork the little shit started barking up a storm. I decided this time around that I was gonna show this little dog who the alpha male was so that it would stop ruining my evening runs. As it was barking at me, I made I contact with the dog, went straight up to the fence and started barking at the dog. The dog got scared and ran into it’s dog house. Just as I thought I had solved my dog problem the owner comes out from behind a bush with gardening gloves on and starts berating me for scaring her dog. I told the lady that she is a shitty dog parent and that if she did a better job socializing her dog it wouldn’t be such a menace to the passerby’s. She freaked out and told me to f*ck off. AITA for barking at the dog? ######

Response:
 YTA, because its not the dogs fault if it's not been socialised properly and barks a lot, it could just be doing it out of anxiety in the first place and you've now scared it more. Also the woman probably witnessed a grown adult barking at her small dog and thought you were insane.

I have a dog that barks at every passerby and if someone did this, which would definitely scare him, and then blamed me for not socialising him I'd probably tell you to fuck off too. My dog has a lot of behavioural and emotional issues due to abuse and neglect by previous owners, so not great to assume this woman is to blame and scare her dog, cos you don't actually know the situation. ######


Prompt:
The wording in the title is exactly how my 14 year old daughter phrased it, not necessarily my opinion. So I've been married to Lacey for 18 years. We have a great marriage and two daughters. The 16 year old isn't relevant in this and we'll call the 14 year old Madison. Madison and Lacey have been clashing a lot lately and that's what inspired this post.

So I absolutely love my wife, but she is ridiculous, and vain, and still my favorite person in the world. Lacey cares excessively about appearance and dresses very feminine. She has a hard time with the fact Madison is developing her own style, and she can get controlling. For example they had a big fight over an "ugly" pair of Vans, though Lacey did buy them in the end.

Well I came home from work the other day and Lacey and Madison were fighting, because Madison cut and dyed her own hair. Now I think it looks ridiculous. She gave herself fucked up bangs and there is a red streak, but at the end of the day Lacey doesn't have to go out looking like that. Well Lacey started crying and Madison said she doesn't want to be a "vapid, trophy wife, Barbie" like her mom. I grounded her for that, but said that I'm on her side with the hair.

I'm the biggest pushover with Lacey though. She kept crying about how the kids don't appreciate her and she doesn't know who Madison is anymore, and when Lacey gets upset she gets hysterical. Well I told the girls they can fix their own dinner (there are plenty of leftovers, Lacey cooks every day) and I hung out in the bedroom with Lacey, gave her like an hour long foot massage and helped her relax. Madison told me this morning that she thinks I coddle her mom and she blames me for the situation as well. So am i an asshole for trying to be a good husband? ######

Response: YTA, based on the post and the follow-up comments your wife is manipulative af and you are a complete enabler. Your wife is an adult and the world does not revolve around her yet she acts like a toddler crying to get her way and you give in. The message you are sending your daughters is that you care about your wife, even when she is in the wrong, over them every time, and they can't count on you. And you are also showing them an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Would you be happy if they ended in a relationship if they are playing the part of yours? Someone who constantly caves in and manages their partner's feelings? Or if they were your spouse? The kind of person who manipulates their partner? Because this is the only relationship dynamic that has been model to them. ######


Prompt:
I work in an office job (currently WFH now but still applicable). I am frequently bombarded with nonsensical and vague requests with unrealistic deadlines. I am in a customer-service type role, although the 'customers' are people from work, so I'm not dealing with the general public.

I finally got sick of the constant requests and put this as an auto-responder on my Outlook:

"Before you email me, consider these four things:

- Your deadline is not my priority
- Be specific in your request. I will not fill in the gaps or join the dots for you.
- Read my job description. Requests unrelated to my job description will be sent straight to my junk folder.
- Politeness doesn't cost a penny.

My supervisor gave me a call yesterday saying I need to remove this auto-responder or tone it down. I stood my ground and said I'm getting sick at the quality of requests coming through and needed to filter some of them out. I've been referred to my supervisor's boss. AITA? ######

Response: YTA, as you said “being polite doesn’t cost a penny” and the wording of this email is anything but that ######


Prompt:
So I just woke up, went into the bedroom, and it’s a disaster. Parts of shoe everywhere on the floor. I gasp.

Last night we were playing scrabble like good little quarantinee’s and he walked into the room gently holding her shoelace in his mouth, shoe trailing behind. I told him no, drop it, and he dropped it. I said “looks like he found a new toy” and she was annoyed, said something about how he “better not do anything” and then we continued our night. She left the shoe there. Admittedly, I didn’t move it either, but my shoes are always put in our mud closet next to the front door.

She wore these shoes 2 days ago and they’ve been laying in the hallway ever since.

She woke up and is now super angry at our dog (he turned 1 this past week). Mentioning about how we’ll have to get rid of him ( she doesn’t mean this, she always says harsh things when situations get rough). Throughout her discovering the shoe I mostly remained quiet because I knew that I believed the shoe shouldn’t have been left laying around.

Am I the asshole for taking my dogs side?
Is she the asshole for being mad at our puppy for chewing her shoe?
Is the dog the asshole for chewing a toy(shoe) in the night? ######

Response: YTA, as dogs shouldn't be chewing on anything but their food or their chew toys. You're rewarding bad behavior. Your girlfriend shouldn't have to plan her decisions around a badly trained dog. Stop making excuses for destructive dogs; this is unwanted behavior that should be punished. ######


Prompt:
I'll tried to keep it short. I'm (30M) a gamer and have been for a long time. I've been with my gf (30F) for 6 years and i got her into gaming a few years ago.

We dont often play together as we are into different games however I convinced her to play a popular first person shooting game that we could play campaign co-op.

We play, we finish the game, i get the last 3 achievemnts on steam to pop up for completing the game and she didnt. All other ahcievemrnts popped at rhe same time? Just not these end game ones for her.

She is pissed. She is an achievement hunter. She says part of the enjoyment of playing games on steam is popping the acheivements. She has spent hours doing this for other games to try and complete them.

I tell her that the acheivements are absolutely pointless, it brings no benefits to game play and that they are worth nothing. She told me to not put down the way she plays and that i was making her feel like shit which i dont think i was.

Now she isnt really speaking to me and isnt putting much effort into playing with me anymore. AiTA? ######

Response:
 YTA, as a fellow achievement hunter... it definitely adds to the game!! Wth, the game pushes you to to find different ways to complete the main campaign that adds to your skill and sometimes the storyline. Those achievements means you’ve completed everything that game has to offer in its experience and if you don’t get those achievements you’re missing out on it. I NEVER say I finished a game unless that includes, for me trophies, because only then can I say I can’t do anymore therefore done. Also it literally gives you the sense of achievement.

Don’t tell someone else how to play.... because no ones going to want to play with you. ######


Prompt:
My parents (46M, 44F) split up when I (19M) was only 2 and shortly after my dad became a fetish vid producer.

My parents had split custody of me but honestly I fucking hated my dad's career choice. He was in femdom fetish videos and although no sex was involved, I was mercilessly bullied for several years once people found a video of my dad.

At the end of last year I told him how I really feel, that I fucking despise him for being such a pathetic weak ass bitch and embarrassing himself on videos like that for so many years. He was very upset when i said that and i told him i fucking hate the fetish models he works with and i want nothing to do with them (he kept trying to set me up with them).

I told him he's a fucking embarrassment and I like my mom more and he started crying and I told him I want nothing to do with him, and that I wish I had a different dad then he started crying saying hes sorry. Then when I told one of the fetish models what I said (she asked me why hes so upset when I saw her at a store) and I told her and she said I'm an AH but I'm so glad I finally put him in his place but idk if I was bad.

Since then he message me every day but I ignore his messages.

AITA? ######

Response: YTA, and so pathetically insecure. I wish you could understand how you're showing yourself to be pathetic and weak, not your father. He is secure enough to admit what he likes - and even get paid to do it. Your ego is the sensitive one. ######


Prompt:
When I was in high school my ex and I had a baby right before graduation. We broke up before the baby was even born and then I moved away for college. I didn't get to see the baby much when she was little but my parents would check up on them and write checks sometimes if they needed money. I would go visit Gabriela sometimes when coming back from college but me and her mom didn't get along so we just kinda fell out of touch.

A couple years after college I was living in San Diego and met a girl and got married. My wife and I moved back to Arizona and settled down: job/house/kids. We had three kids, a boy and two girls.

I reached out to Gabriela when we moved back to Arizona and her mom wasn't happy about it but I got to see Gabriela. I would bring her over about once a month to hang out with the other kids or just on a lunch date. Things got more difficult when she was a teenager and was mad at me sometimes but got better as she got older.  We're good now, she's a good kid.

Gabriela is getting married next year and asked me to walk her down the aisle. But my other two daughters and wife are against it.  My wife is real old school and said it would hurt her to see me walking another woman's daughter down the aisle. She's real traditional on stuff like this and said it would make it less special for our two daughters when their day comes. My other two daughters aren't close to Gaby and didn't really care at first but I think my wife turned them against it. They said they don't wanna share me with Gaby but she's their sister too

I don't wanna cause any type of issues plus I know Gaby's mom wants to walk her down the aisle. I told this to Gaby and she got really sad and cried and said she wanted me to change my mind but I gotta think about my wife and other daughters too. What do I do? ######

Response: YTA, and so is your wife - but its obvious you have not put your foot down that Gaby is ***your daughter***, not "another woman's daughter" before now.  You clearly care more for not rocking the boat with your wife than you do about Gaby.  YTA.  Congratulations. ######


Prompt:
I've (40M) got 3 children from a previous marriage 11,10,8 and we have two together 3 and 1.

I've been with my wife (31F) for 6 years now.

Usually during her "time of the month" she spends 4 out of 7 days in bed because, I'm going off what she says, they're so painful it leaves her unable to do anything even with painkillers - she doesnt always take painkillers and tries to get through the pain as she puts it.

We had begun to think she was pregnant since despite being frequent she hadnt had her time of the month for 2 months after her last one being  10 days, she was considering going to the doctors but has decided it isnt an emergency.

She promised the children as soon as the paddling pool arrived, on the day we would put it up and she would spend all day outside with ALL of the children since we have been busy.

Paddling pool arrived today and so did her time of the month early last night.

As usual shes in bed.

Children have been begging to play outside, with her.

I asked her if she wanted painkillers and when she is getting up, she said she didnt and isnt.

Day progressed and children got more and more whiny and she refused to deal with it while I was in a meeting.

I may have snapped when I got a small break, I told her to either explain or take a painkiller and stop feeling so d-mn sorry for herself.

She got all teary eyed and basically screamed at me that I'm an insensitive ass, got up and played with them for the day (extremely annoyed and snappy though, not towards the children)

I was working otherwise I wouldve played with the children.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA, and here is why:

> Usually during her "time of the month" she spends 4 out of 7 days in bed because, I'm going off what she says, they're so painful it leaves her unable to do anything

1) Just say period. Nothing bad will happen if you do. 2) Of course you have to go off of what she says, it is her pain not yours.

Anyway, this is established; you know that she has debilitating pain while on her period. She didn't choose this pain, but she has to put up with it. Most people who love their partners would try to understand that and do whatever they could to make their partner's life easier.

> She promised the children as soon as the paddling pool arrived, on the day we would put it up and she would spend all day outside with ALL of the children since we have been busy.

> Paddling pool arrived today and so did her time of the month early last night.

Well as soon as it arrived early you should have realised she would likely have ended up bedridden again.

> Children have been begging to play outside, with her.

This would have been a great time to explain that mummy doesn't feel well, and to teach your kids patience and compassion (at the very least your older ones should understand that sometimes people feel unwell).

> I asked her if she wanted painkillers and when she is getting up, she said she didnt and isnt.

This is in keeping with prior form, not certain why you'd be surprised.

> Day progressed and children got more and more whiny and she refused to deal with it while I was in a meeting.

This is where I have one iota of sympathy for you; obviously you had work constraints and trying to manage children while your partner is unwell is difficult. But there are plenty of people working from home and tending to their children right now; your situation is far from unique.

> I may have snapped when I got a small break, I told her to either explain or take a painkiller and stop feeling so d-mn sorry for herself.

You "may" have snapped? Son, experience on this sub tells me that when someone concedes a small amount of misbehaviour, it means they probably did something way worse. Why couldn't you explain to your kids that she was ill? Like I suggested previously? And she has every right to feel sorry for herself, **she's in debilitating pain**. *You* should feel sorry for her too.

> She got all teary eyed and basically screamed at me that I'm an insensitive ass, got up and played with them for the day (extremely annoyed and snappy though, not towards the children)

Yeah, she called it. You're an ass. And an asshole. And I fully support her being annoyed and snappy with you. It says a lot about her though (in a good way) that she was still good with the children despite being in pain. ######


Prompt:
Me(25f) and my bf(27m) live together.

Lately he's been watching this anime show called re: zero. At first I was curious to see what it was about but I find out that his favorite characters are extremely sexualized maids.

I ask why he's watching a show that has characters like that. He says that I have no right to dictate what he watches. AITA ######

Response: YTA, and he's right....re-evaluate your relationship if you're too uncomfy with this. ######


Prompt:
My daughter Savannah is 17. Last week she was at one of her friend's house. Basically her friends parents came home early from a business trip and busted their kid and my daughter drinking.

I was obviously pretty pissed and told Savannah that she can't go to Lily's house anymore. She basically told me that Lily is not the problem and that all of her friends occasionally drink. So I told her that while she lives under my roof that she cannot visit anyone. Am I being too harsh? ######

Response:
 YTA, all this is going to do is teach her how to lie and get her into worse situations than just drinking at her friends house. Talk to her about the dangers of alcohol but don’t stunt her social growth

Edit: spelling ######


Prompt:
So long story short during the quarantine I've been trying pretty hard to keep active and fit. I've been pretty successful at that and honestly I've been in the best shape of my life.

Anyways while I was talking to my friend to see how she was coping with being stuck in doors the topic of fitness comes up and she starts complaining about how much weight she's gained and beating herself up for being fat.

Now by her own admission she does no exercise and only eats trash. So I start saying it's not that hard to lose some weight just do some regular exercise and eat something healthy. Then she says there's not too much joy these days and food makes her happy. I tell her then of that's the case then just love your body the way it is and then she says she can't help hating her weight gain because of something to do with childhood trauma.

I then say to her "look I really hate self-pity. it's so jarring.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't or won't change it, learn to live with it. How does beating yourself up for a situation you put yourself in help anyone?"

Then she says thanks for your opinion asshole and hangs up. My sister heard what I said and she said although she agrees I could have phrased it nicer.

To be fair I was already pretty irritable before that conversation so I might have been a bit harsh with the way I said it but I stand by what I said. I'm not really interested in being sympathetic to someone who generated a problem for themselves and refuses to do anything to fix it. So Reddit AITA? ######

Response: YTA, absolutely. Instead of just listening, you rapid-fired a bunch of advice and and then told her you "hate self-pity." That demonstrates spectacularly low emotional intelligence. It's also just really unkind. ######


Prompt:
Me (20f) and my sister (22f) fought yesterday and im not sure if im in the wrong here.

So my sister is already working in another city, but since the lockdown happened she decided to stay here with the family. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years because she found out he is cheating on her. We all comforted her and stuff. Its been a week now and she has become a very shitty person.

She doesnt have her own room in our house anymore because we turned her old room into an office. I offered my room because i do have a big bed. But she chose to sleep in my mom's tiny bed. (My mom sleeps alone in her tiny bed).

My mom woke me up last night to ask me if she can sleep in my room, i said yes of course. She said she's so sleepy for hours but my sister wont get up in her bed because she's too "depressed"

This morning i was in the shower while my mom slept on my bed, when i got out of the shower my sister is beside her and just moping around while she's trying to sleep. I know my mom is exhausted and just needed a few hours to rest. I became very annoyed at my sister and told her "get the fuck out of my room, you already took mom's bed, why are you here". She cried, left, and slammed the door. My mom woke up and is now doing chores. Im now more upset because she has woken up our mom and i know she just wanted to rest for a few hours.

Me and my mom have been avoiding her for days now because like i said, she has been very annoying lately.

I know its very difficult to break up with someone you loved for seven whole years. But do you really have to be a very crappy person??? We were supportive of her but now nobody in this house talks to her except my brother. Am i the asshole here???? ######

Response:
 YTA, a 7 year relationship is a large thing to mourn and its not going to be simply wrapped up with a weeks time and a bit of consoling. I dont see where your sister did anything intentionally wrong or mean. I believe your sister is seeking this closeness with family and specifically your mom for comfort and couldn't see how her neediness was wearing out your mother. You could have pulled her aside and pointed it out to her. Instead you moved immediately to being mean and yelling at her, essentially kicking her when she's already down.

Had you given warning or attempted to reason with her this could be n a h but you didn't give her a chance. ######


Prompt:
Just finished up my second year of college and it fucking sucked. I really don't wanna listen to professors tell me what to do all day and I don't wanna work  some stupid job where some middle-aged dude with a beer belly bosses me around all day either. I fucking hate school and I fucking love music, so I decided to dropout of college and quit my job bussing tables to pursue a career as a music artist. I've spent the passed month grinding and learning about dubstep, psytrance, hip hop, and riddim production.

I told my mom about this and she wasn't supportive at all. "The odds are one in a million", "stay in school and work towards an actual career", etc. eventually just straight up said she's not gonna pay for my rent or my car payment anymore since I'm not working towards a "realistic financial goal" in here eyes. Buncha bullshit if you ask me. I don't think Skrillex and Lil Uzi Vert were worried about "realistic financial goals" and imma be on that level soon so I'm not even stressing tbh. If a mother can't support her son's dreams then she can fuck right off. I feel like she's giving me shit since she doesn't beleive in me but she'll be begging for some fame once I make it and I ain't gonna give it to her, so I decided to block her number to make that clear. I felt like its the right thing to do since I can't have that bs negativity in my life but my friends are tellin me I took it too far. Am I really an asshole for chasing my dreams? Or is my mom the asshole for shitting on them? Honest question ######

Response: YTA-you want to make adult decisions, then you should support yourself as an adult and pay your own bills. Definitely do not go crawling back to your mother of the fame and fortune never happens. ######


Prompt: My son (15M) turned in a Spanish assignment one day late. His teacher emailed him saying that she wouldn’t accept the assignment. He emailed her back saying that the school policy during remote learning was that any missing assignment is put in as a 50% and it can be turned in in the next five days for full credit. She emailed saying that she wouldn’t accept it still. He then emailed her back and said “Eres una cara de tortilla” which means “You are a tortilla face”. She got really mad because he used the informal pronoun of you (tú) instead of the formal version (usted) and because of the insult. I told my son that this was funny only because she wasn’t following the school rules and it wasn’t even a bad insult or anything. My wife thinks I was reinforcing my son’s bad behavior. I think he was doing the right thing and standing up for himself. AITA? ######

Response: YTA-teach your kid to use his actual words instead of insults. If this teacher is flouting the rules, then you need to go over her head to the principal. ######


Prompt:
On my way to bed, I realized I had to send an important email before tomorrow.

While I was writing this email, my wife asked me if the parent of our kid's friend's full name was [redacted]. I told her I didn't know. Then she wanted to know what autodeposit on electronic funds transfer was. I told her it was pretty much what it sounds like. Then she asked whether that meant [redacted] had an account at the same bank as her. I told her I had no idea. At this point I'd completely lost my train of thought with the email, so when she asked me why someone would get autodeposit, I snapped at her and said "what are you trying to do?" She said she was sending [redacted] some money we owed her for some kid-related activity.

I put down my laptop and walked over to her quickly and said something along the lines of "let me see that", looked at her screen was like "if this is the email address you have for [redatcted], then it's probably going to transfer money to [redacted], but if you don't think the name is right, then don't do it." I was very curt with her and stomped back over to my laptop and tried to get back to my email.

Now I feel like an asshole because she told me I hurt her feelings and went off to bed. I could have told her I was in the middle of something. She also could have been a lot more explicit about what she was trying to figure out, instead of interrupting me every few minutes for 10 minutes.

Shit. Pretty sure AITA after reading this. ######

Response: YTA- Youve answered your own question. It could have been handled better ######


Prompt:
I've been married for two years and for the most part I'd say we have a great marriage. My wife has had some conflict with my family, and in the past I've always taken her side. My parents are both Persian and they were not happy when I married outside the race, but they have not said anything directly offensive. I guess this all happened two years ago but it is just coming to light.

So my parents had an arranged marriage, but most people are surprised to learn that because they did fall genuinely in love. I guess when I was engaged my mom told my wife about her arranged marriage. My wife asked my mom some questions about how it worked and my mom convinced my wife that her father sold her to my father for $300. This objectively makes no sense because my grandfather is pretty well off, so why $300? She gave her a fake story about how my dad would come over and inspect her and her sisters like horses. My wife didn't say anything because she thought it was a secret, but I guess she felt bad for my mom.

Now my sister recently got engaged. The man is Persian but it was not an arranged married. My mom said to my wife, I guess the prices went up because she sold for $5,000. Again this objectively doesn't make much sense because my dad owns a successful business and $5,000 isn't a big deal to him. My wife got very upset and told my dad that he is a pig (he was in on it) and told my sister we would help her get away. My mom admitted it was a joke and now my wife feels like an idiot.

I think it was a bitchy thing to do, but I can't believe that my wife fell for it. She wants me to go to war with my family, but I think it just needs to die a natural death. I did tell her i was surprised that she was so gullible, and now she is upset with me. ######

Response: YTA- you're wife (even IF she was gullible) was put in that position by your mother and felt stupid because of what she did. It was completely unnecessary and petty, and If you always take your wife's side why would you NOT in a situation like this? ######


Prompt:
My brother and his GF have been dating for two years now and are both 18. His GF came around for lunch and they were talking about a movie that they watched. While we were all talking, they said that they love eachother deeply.

I asked them a question that was in my mind for a while now about how they are they together without being physically attractived. At first, they seem normal but then they got mad. After I told them that in my opinion, they just seem like best mates. My mum got angry at me and told me to go to my room while my dad didn't do anything (he also believes the same thing). My brother and his girl left the house as they got pissed

My mum made me apologise to them for what I said. My dad didn't say anything but my mum and the rest got angry at me. AITA? ######

Response: YTA- you sound bitter as hell. ######


Prompt: So my girlfriend is a full time digital artist. Well like any job sometimes she needs to let out her frustrations sometimes. I usually listen to her vent But this time I felt like she was the one wrong. Today she was really upset because someone commissioned her and didn’t disclose that the commission was to be used in their business. Basically what happened, she found them selling the design (a character) on tons of merchandise, shirts, etc. and she said if she knew she would’ve charged them a premium. I was taken aback by this. She always seemed down to earth, not greedy. Yet now she is here trying to squeeze as much money as possible out of someone simply trying to run a business.. I was like isn’t that kind of greedy? The person already paid nearly $100 for the artwork. They paid for it. It’s theirs. she told me that’s not how it works and it’s “different” when you’re getting something for yourself and for your business. I honestly don’t see her point, you can’t seriously tell me this isn’t greedy behavior. I told her they paid for it and she has no rights to tell them what to do with it. She claims she does have rights because they signed agreement to her terms (AKA a google form, not an actual legal form...) which apparently outlines this whole thing. Either way that doesn’t suddenly make this okay. If she goes after this person she’s going to ruin their business for no other reason than being greedy. Yet she continues to argue with me and I’m sitting here learning a whole new money driven side of my girlfriend. I know this shouldn’t affect our relationship, but the women I fell in love with would never do this. Yet here we are arguing and her refusing to back down and admit she’s acting like a big greedy business. AITA? ######

Response: YTA- you need to learn about how art is priced. They paid $100 for personal use of the art but didn’t disclose it would be used commercially. Personal use and commercial use are two different things. Your girlfriend is trying not to get scammed and here you are trying to act like a fainting maiden. ######


Prompt:
I moved in with my significant other of 2 years after my pay was reduced in February due to everything that’s been happening and it didn’t make financial sense for me to live in my own apartment anymore. My SO asked me to move in with him so I took up his offer. My SO is my ex-bf’s dad, and I’m now living in the home where my ex-bf grew up.

My ex doesn’t visit the house at all. I suggested to my SO that we should move everything out of my ex’s childhood room, let me use it to store some of my stuff, and let me use it as my personal office/lounging room. My SO agreed. So I boxed up everything in my ex-bf’s childhood room and moved them to the garage, including the furniture.

I’ve redecorated the room and made it mine. Before I even moved his things, I emailed my ex about this and told him he should come by and take a look at what he wants to keep and/or sell and/or donate. After not hearing from him for three weeks, today he texts me calling me all sorts of names for clearing out and taking “his” room.

I’m really trying to be sensitive and nice here, but he is making this very difficult with his rage-filled outbursts and texts. My SO and I are giving him a year to clear out his childhood stuff from the garage before I donate everything. Neither my SO nor I feel clearing out his room was inappropriate, but my ex is just melting down in an tantrum-filled rage. Why does my ex feel like he owns his childhood room when he doesn’t even visit? It is very sad and bizarre. ######

Response:
 YTA- you are banging his dad, moving Into his childhood house, and clearing his room out and donating anything he can’t fit in his place. This almost has to be a troll with the amounts of time deafness

Edit: I love the “ I’m being so patient with him” line! Damn this post is a train wreck ######


Prompt:
Was checking out at the self-checkout. Realized I had two extra frozen meals that I did not need. Crazy time right now - just wanted to get out quickly so I set them on top of the candy rack in front of me.

Store manager confronts me. She says “are you planning on putting that back”? Like for fucks sake, am I back in school? Is this not what she has paid employees for? I said “I’m in a hurry, sorry” and bolted. ######

Response: YTA- They're frozen, theyll go to waste if not. ######


Prompt:
A friend of mine started dating this girl, they are long distance. Now I love my friend he is a super talented engineer but he is a bit socially stupid. He hasn't dated any girls before and now started dating a girl that is nothing but red flags. She is a single mom and the way she describes her life as if she is a perpetual victim. To add to that all of her ex's been large tattoed men and now she is dating my engineering buddy when he met her at a conference.

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Again I told my friend to be mindful just because this is his first relationship and he is pretty experienced... But now he told me that she has been online shopping a lot on his credit card (she has his amazon account). But then he told me she spent $50 at CVS...

&#x200B;

I told him the only reason people spend that type of money at a pharmacy is to buy Plan B... (this was 6 days ago) and he hasn't seen her since January...He told me how dare I accuse his girlfriend of cheating. I told him to ask in our guys groupchat.. He asked and everyone called him an idiot. Now he is mad because he thinks I told our friends before hand. I am like no, if someone spends $50 at a pharmacy its 99% for that reason. ######

Response:
 YTA- There’s a lot of negative stereotyping about this girl in your post. Slamming her for being a single mom, claiming she’s cheating just because your friend and her are in a long distance relationship, spending money with his cards (which I’m assuming he gave to her willingly) and criticizing her past relationships... lots of negative stereotyping and blaming her for her past. You said that they met at a CONFERENCE which implies that she’s established or something but quickly dismiss it to illustrate her as TA.

Have you actually talked to your friend about his relationship with his girlfriend? Have you actually asked HIM how HE feels on HIS relationship versus YOUR own bias? Maybe you should actually talk to your friend instead of talk for him. Asking him why he gave her his card info and ask him if he’s actually happy. YTA because you want to place all responsibility on his girlfriend and draw her out to be TA when it seems like the only thing you actually care about is being right about this girl being the TA instead of actually being a friend. ######


Prompt:
Some time last year there was a Halloween party for the entire grade 10. Everyone was invited and every kid showed up. This is my first "real" party (alcohol and over 10 people) I've ever been to and I am extremely excited.

So I get to the party, drink some beer, drink some more cause I wasn't feeling drunk (never had alchohol before). Anyways, you proabably see were this is going by now. I get hella drunk, can barely walk, room is spinning, can't focus. I'm kinda scared cause this is all so new to me. Anyways, I start poking people and flirting with everyone, pretty much being a jerk. The guy who's house the party is at kicks me out and calls my dad. My dad is chill but still kinda pissed that I got that drunk. I haven't been invited to another party since.

So, AITA for getting drunk at my first party and acting like an idiot? Personally I see there point but it hurts knowing that there are party's every 2 weeks and I am not invited to any of them because I acted dumb my first time getting drunk. ######

Response: YTA- The expectation with parties that serve alcohol is you drink to enjoy and socialize, not get super drunk and act like an idiot. Also, you were harassing people; using the "I was drunk" defense doesn't work here. The host clearly just wanted to socialize not host a drunken free-for-all. If you really want back into their scene, you can talk to the host one-on-one and see what they feel, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. ######


Prompt:
About a month ago a stray cat showed up on my doorstep. She had no identification or microchip. I took her in, fed her, named her Bertha, but I was also actively looking for her owners. I don't have the ability to permanently take care of another pet, but I wanted to do the right thing and make sure she had the best chance of having a good life.

Eventually I found the owner and returned the cat. I missed Bertha but was glad she was back with her owner.

Well Bertha has been back at my door every day since then, meowing for hours until I let her back in. I contacted the owner again and asked her to keep the cat inside. The owner responded that her husband died about a month ago, she's trying to take of her 3 kids during this lockdown, and that Bertha is an indoor outdoor cat. I understand that this must be a hard time for the owner, and I'm giving them slack for not knowing the cat was missing for a month, but at this point they're neglecting her to the point that she doesnt want to go back to them. She's also been reported at all my other neighbor's houses too.

AITA for coming to the conclusion that I have to send the cat to a shelter? I would never want to hurt her, but she's being neglected, and she could possibly be a transmitter of the coronavirus if shes bouncing from house to house all over our neighborhood. ######

Response: YTA- the cat hasn't been missing for a month guys, the ladies husband died a month ago and she's been struggling since. Don't take the cat anywhere- it's not yours but perhaps talk to the family about this issue and together you can find a resolution that is manageable for everyone. ######


Prompt:
I woke up later than usual today and heard my daughter (16) moving around downstairs. I went down and she was playing a video game. We said good morning, and I asked her how long she’d been up. She said for a couple of hours.

I jokingly said “bet you enjoyed having the house to yourself for a while” because my husband and I are usually are at work all day, and she’s usually home alone.

She said “yeah, actually, it was kinda nice”. I didn’t expect a response like that, and frankly, it hurt my feelings. I said “oh, do I not do enough for you?” She rolled her eyes and said “you know that’s not what I meant” and I said “do you really hate your family that much?” She just ignored me that time.

I gave her a chance to make things right and just drop it, and said “you know I’m not being serious” and she said “no I don’t because you say shit like this all the time”. I don’t tolerate that kind of language in my house, and she didn’t even drop it like she should have. I sent her to her room, and she went.

I discussed it with my husband, and I went up to her room, and told her that from now on, since she can’t appreciate family time, that she may not leave her room until we are up. She got very pouty, and told me that I was being unreasonable.

Thing is, she doesn’t appreciate anything I do. She constantly manipulates me, and doesn’t understand how hard isolation has been for me. Considering how she treats me, I think I am being more than reasonable. AITA? ######

Response: YTA- shes 16, she’s a teenager, it’s nice to have time away from one another especially when we’ve all been in lockdown. She even told you she didn’t mean it like you said it, you sound too sensitive ######


Prompt:
ok so im 16 and my stepdad has been with my mom for like 5 years now. he told me he was married before and had a daughter who's in her twenties now but idk what happened, i just know he doesn't really talk to her. he told me his first wife was a massive bitch and that's why he left but also said he used to drink a lot more too so idk. anyway he told me his daughter's name once and it's pretty uncommon so i found her on facebook. she looks exactly like my stepdad too so like i knew she was the right girl. I just told her who i was and asked why she and my stepdad don't really talk and said she might want to give him a chance cuz he doesn't drink anymore and is a cool guy now. she took like 3 days to respond but all she said was (im gonna copy paste it)

"I know you're a kid and this isn't your problem, and I know you have a very different relationship with your stepdad than i do, but the things that he did and said to me when i was a child have made it impossible for us to have a relationship. i'm glad to hear that he's sober but it's not enough for me to want to have him in my life. thanks for reaching out but please do not contact me again"

I messaged back that she didn't need to be bitchy and she blocked me. I told my stepdad and he got really angry and started throwing shit, he started ranting about her and his ex-wife and about how they never respected him and then told me i was a shithead for bringing this back up because he was "over it" until i did this. it was freaky because I'd never seen him like that before. i was just trying to find out what happened between him and my stepsister, am i really the asshole? ######

Response: Yta- She wasn't bitchy either, she was very kind and calm. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account because I think my kids might have seen Reddit on my phone.

I F40 have two kids, (F14) and (M11). When I married my husband, I discovered we had vastly different lifestyles. He ate junk food, I preferred to stay healthy. Unfortunately this has been a problem with our kids now.

My daughter eats pretty healthy, but enjoys junk food too, and is roughly five pounds overweight. (She’s 5’2 and 130 pounds, but is active) However my pediatrician has discussed some concern about it and suggested placing my daughter on a diet.

My son is not a healthy eater, he only likes junk food and does not eat healthy at all but has a fast metabolism and stays underweight.

I’ve started prohibiting my daughter from eating junk food, but not my son. My reasoning is that she needs to loose weight in order to deserve these sweets. She’s upset that her brother who eats worse/more than she does is allowed to continue eating sweets. Her reasoning is that because he eats more than her, does not play sports and just plays video games and is unhealthier when it comes to food choices means he should also have to eat healthy.

My husband has sided with her on this but my son hasn’t. My son has told her it’s only fair because he isn’t “fat”. (She’s not too chubby, but there’s a bit of extra weight around her stomach.)

After this, my husband has come to me saying I need to be nicer to her and make them both eat healthy because now my daughter is self conscious about her weight and is developing anxiety and an eating disorder. I don’t believe him though because a medical professional didn’t diagnose her. She’s fine, at least in my opinion.

TL/DR: My daughter is kind of overweight according to her doctor so I make her eat healthy but not her underweight bro it her.
AITA? ######

Response:
 Yta- not only are you damaging your relationship with your daughter you are damaging her self worth and mental health.

What kind of message are you sending her by doing this that a number on a scale is more important than anything else! ######


Prompt:
Just finished up my second year of college and it fucking sucked. I really don't wanna listen to professors tell me what to do all day and I don't wanna work  some stupid job where some middle-aged dude with a beer belly bosses me around all day either. I fucking hate school and I fucking love music, so I decided to dropout of college and quit my job bussing tables to pursue a career as a music artist. I've spent the passed month grinding and learning about dubstep, psytrance, hip hop, and riddim production.

I told my mom about this and she wasn't supportive at all. "The odds are one in a million", "stay in school and work towards an actual career", etc. eventually just straight up said she's not gonna pay for my rent or my car payment anymore since I'm not working towards a "realistic financial goal" in here eyes. Buncha bullshit if you ask me. I don't think Skrillex and Lil Uzi Vert were worried about "realistic financial goals" and imma be on that level soon so I'm not even stressing tbh. If a mother can't support her son's dreams then she can fuck right off. I feel like she's giving me shit since she doesn't beleive in me but she'll be begging for some fame once I make it and I ain't gonna give it to her, so I decided to block her number to make that clear. I felt like its the right thing to do since I can't have that bs negativity in my life but my friends are tellin me I took it too far. Am I really an asshole for chasing my dreams? Or is my mom the asshole for shitting on them? Honest question ######

Response:
 YTA- let me ask you this. What if it doesn’t work out and you don’t become a music producer and then you’re left without your dream career AND your mom? She doesn’t owe you your rent payment or any other money. It’s fine if college isn’t for you. It’s not for everyone. But if you’re going to chase your dreams you need to find a way to support yourself while doing it and quitting your job isn’t a good start.

It will be tough to meet the goal you want to meet and she’s not wrong in wanting you to have a solid backup plan. YTA because it sounds like your mom was trying to help you out and set you up for success and you’re blocking her number the second she cuts off your cash flow because you’re making the wrong decisions. Continue working and earning an income and have a back up plan if music doesn’t work out. You’re an adult now and part of being that is making responsible decisions. This post makes you sound very childish and immature and you should probably rethink quite a bit about it. ######