Prompt:
I(25f) got married this past fall. One of the guests was a friend I was close to in high school but we aren’t as close now. She is really good friends with one of my bridesmaids and we still hung out occasionally. She also invited me to her wedding a couple years before. So I invited her to mine.

This friend has a photography/wedding planning business but it hasn’t really taken off yet. During my wedding I saw she had her camera but I didn’t pay too much attention to what she was doing. She didn’t get in the way of the photographer so it wasn’t as issue.

A couple days after the wedding my husband and I were tagged in photos. She had posted pictures from the wedding with her watermark on them. One of the pictures was a candid shot of the flower girl. One of the groomsmen (father of flower girl) wrote a comment saying that she did well with his daughter and the friend wrote back that she wasn’t the photographer of the wedding and just a friend. He called my husband and asked if we could talk to her about taking down the picture of his daughter since she wasn’t the photographer and never asked permission to take his daughter’s picture let alone post it to promote her business.

I ended up PMing her and asked if she could take down all the pictures. I told her it was a nice gesture taking pictures but she didn’t ask and I didn’t feel right she was using them to promote her business. I also told her I didn’t feel comfortable she posted a picture of a minor without permission. To be honest I wasn’t a fan of the pictures and they were heavily edited but I didn’t tell her that. She did not take it well. She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend. She did take the pictures down and then blocked me. We haven’t spoken since.

This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it. Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.

So I was curious, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend.

You're ungrateful she took advantage of you? I guess that makes sense in Crazyland.

>This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it.

Well, on the bright side your friends network isn't very drama or trigger happy if *this* is the talk for months. Be happy for the little things?

>Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.

But... you're not their good friend? You barely know them. Also, a good friend would have asked, oh, and maybe GIVEN YOU THE PHOTOGRAPHS. Seriously, she took a good camera to your wedding and doesn't share the photographs with you. I don't honestly care that much about FB drama, but that's just outright creepy. ######


Prompt:
My GF and I have been dating for 5 months. She and her kids were abandoned 9 months ago. Dude is POS. Never calls or sees the kids. One Father’s Day he took the son (16) for the weekend while not speaking to the two girls (11) (14).

So I tell the GF that I don’t think it’s a good idea to go on a date with me and leave the kids home alone. She says the 14 is with friends and I say then it’s worse a 11yo is alone for 6.5-9hrs. She gets mad and says she needs a life to and the kids don’t even pay attention to her.

I tell her it’s a shitty position to be in. Dad left because who knows. Mom is leaving for another man. Moms always get it harder. So in my eyes the kids will get mad at mom and then look at me as an asshole for taking the mom away.

I tell her it’s more common to leave for 2-3 hrs. No big deal. But 6,7,10 that is too long. She gets mad at me and life at that point .

I think it’s too early to spend time with the kids but I did meet the kids 3 years ago and they know me. ######

Response:
 NTA.

>She gets mad and says...the kids don’t even pay attention to her.

It's *her* job to pay attention to *them.* ######


Prompt:
I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot.

I was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped.

For about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.

There were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did.

This is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place.

This seems a bit hypocritical, since she kind of did that to you, showing up with a baby wanting you to take care of it. ######


Prompt: My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ######

Response:
 NTA.

>I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign

Both.  Your wife is on the hook to pay because she cosigned.  I don't know what the cops can do for you, but it wouldn't hurt to call and ask.  More likely, you'll have to settle this in small claims court. ######


Prompt:
My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.
So I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ######

Response:
 NTA.

>Aita Feeling like I had my gift taken away

First off, it WAS taken away. Second, even if it wasn't, you're NEVER an AH for any feelings. You might be an AH for actions, but never feelings. I hope you're teaching your son that, too.

>My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing.

It's YOUR device. Period.

>I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells.

Why did you take this for an answer? It's your property. He's your child. Why do you have no authority in your house?

>because he is deep in the game and act like an adult.

What? That's rude and dismissive. "Be an adult" would mean going in there and putting a password on your Switch so your child doesn't get to play YOUR Switch. If your husband wants to get your kid a Switch, that's different.

>He said one is enough.

...why does he get to make that decision by himself? What sort of a relationship do you have with him?

>He said I can play when he is done

So he lied when he said it was your device and game.

>and stop being sad over a kids game.

This makes my blood boil. Playing games is a hobby. Do you make fun of his hobbies? Do you make fun of movies he enjoys? I'm going to guess there are 'kids stuff' in there as well. That's dismissive, rude and I hope you bit his head off (figuratively) for being such a jerk. Video games revenue is $134 billion in 2018, while movies were $44 billion. Kinda good for "kids stuff."

The next time he tries to have ice cream, take it away because it's a "kids thing." Candy? Pizza? Kids thing. Any sort of action movie? Kids thing, or maybe teenager thing.

It really sounds like you need to re-evaluate your relationship. ######


Prompt:
I have asked my spouse to cut off communication between themselves, my children, and my father. I've presented this same scenario to a few different people, and the response is generally the same. I'm a big ole asshole.

About a year ago, I came out to my father as transgender. I've been transitioning for much longer than that, but since I am military and away from where he lives, it was never an issue before. He took it really hard at first, but we have been working through it together. Our relationship quickly declined after that news, but I was always hoping he would be able to see past my transition and treat me like his child still. For a while, he did, but I always suspected it was so that he could remain close with my two children, whom he adores greatly.

About a monthly ago, I legally changed my name. This was the final straw for him. He will no longer speak to me, and refuses to communicate with me in any fashion. He has blocked my cell phone number, written me out of his will, blocked my e-mail address and removed me from his Facebook. However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. While I don't necessarily disagree, I don't enjoy seeing them interact with my father as if everything is the same as it was before. It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.

So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

> However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair.

Whoa. Big, whoa. That your spouse doesn't think treating you decently should be a prerequisite for interaction with them or your children is alarming. How is it depriving them to not allow a person who demonstrates such cruelty to have access to them?

> It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.

You're right about that. ######


Prompt:
For starters it's nothing against her ring at all. It's beautiful and has sentimental value.
It's just my parents are divorced and my siblings and I had a very crappy childhood due to abuse and neglect.
I have a semi steady relationship with both my parents but every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same.
I'm currently wearing a temporary ring due to my mother's not fitting me and with everything closed I can't get it fixed until this pandemic is over but I'm starting to get attached to it even if it's a cheap Amazon ring.
I've talked to my fiance about it and he wants me to be happy so he is fine either way but I know it hurts my mom with me not wearing it when she was the one who gave it to my fiance to give to me.
I guess I want to know if I WBTA if I just give the ring back to my mother.
I'm not the first to get married out of her kids either. ######

Response:
 NTA.

> every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same

That's a really, really good reason not to wear that ring.

Keep the cheap Amazon ring if it's special to you! It was given to you by someone who really loves you.

This really has nothing whatsoever to do with your mother. It's between you and your fiance. ######


Prompt:
CW: eating disorder and mental illnessy stuff. It’s okay though, we’re all good now.

This is going to sound like a very, very, weird troll post, or just something weird in general, but here goes.

Okay. So. I (M20) am gay, and have had (had) a friend from high school, “Rachel” (F22); who graduated earlier than me by a year. Recently, I discovered that Rachel has been going around talking about how she had anorexia in high school, and going in great lengths about her hospitalisation, down to which room number she was in. According to her, this breakdown was caused by my diagnosis with AIDs as a teenager, and it weighed heavily on her, because she was my best friend.

The first issue with that, is I don’t have AIDs. I’m not even HIV positive. The second issue with that, is she has never been hospitalised for anorexia. The third issue is that the details of hospitalisation she’s describing are my hospitalisation.

That was a fuckton to wrap my head around, and I wasn’t sure how I should act. Whilst I was deliberating, Rachel (last night), decided to hold a Zoom call for our friends for us to chill and hangout together. It went late to the night, and I wasn’t completely sober. Because that’s how I confront. We were talking about sex, and someone asks me how I’m dealing with the virus. Here, Rachel gets nervous, and tries to change the subject.

I laugh, and go “Dude, I dont know what you heard, but I’m cleaner than Rachel’s room.”

Yeah, that was petty.

Someone asks Rachel about it, and she’s evading it, and I’m like fuck it, if this is all coming out, so I add “I mean me having AIDs is about as true as you having had an eating disorder.”

At this she disconnects the call. She texts me later “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,” and according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.

I’m slightly hungover but I will do my best to answer questions, so AITA for handling it the way I did? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>  “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,”

*She's* the one who made it public.

> according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.

Sounds like a win all around. ######


Prompt:
My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.

My mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish.

I fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.

So reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ######

Response:
 NTA.

“Mom. You already have animals illegally. I’m not going to participate in your breaking the law.” ######


Prompt:
So there is this trend on tiktok where girls put on the snapchat filter that makes you look like a man and see if it looks like their dad and then show a picture of him. I did that trend except instead of showing a picture of him I put an empty room.

It's a joke since I haven't seen my father at all since I was 6. I'm 17 now. I have reached out to my half-siblings and step-siblings and talk to them. I tried to reach out to my dad by asking them for his phone number from my siblings but he won't let them give me it.

I hate that he's absent but joking around about it makes me feel better. I want to post it because I think it's funny and think that my friends will find it funny. But my stepsis has a good relationship with him and it might piss her off. But she also has no idea how it feels to have an absent father.

WIBIA?

Also I'm aware a lot of y'all think Tiktok is stupid. I used to too but quarantine turned me into a Tiktok addict. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Our feelings about how our parents participate- or not- in our lives are valid. If it stings when that’s pointed out it’s probably because there’s truth in the allegation.

Go forth young one and tik tok away. ######


Prompt:
Have 2 kids, 12 and 15. It was 12 year old’s best friend’s birthday today, so I drove him over to the friend’s house. They’d be ordering pizza, playing Xbox, generic kid birthday stuff.

I dropped him off around lunchtime, and on the way back I noticed that the McDonald’s had reopened after the lockdown (and I’d been craving a burger). I went through the drive through and got 2 meals for me and 15.

When I got home it turns out that 15 had got too hungry to wait and had heated up some leftovers. He ate the chips and drink, but said he’d save the burger for dinner. I said fine, and didn’t think anything of it.

Few hours later, 12 is dropped back home and it’s dinner time. I’m serving up the pasta I’d made (which admittedly isn’t his favourite) my older one takes out his burger and microwaves it. 12 is then upset that 15 got Mcdonalds but he didn’t, and my partner agreed saying it was unfair.

The way I see it 12 got his special treat in the form of the Dominos so that was him done for the week. 15 hadn’t had any junk food in ages as me and the partner try to cook healthy and keep unhealthy food to once every 2-3 weeks.

My partner disagrees, because we so rarely get McDonald’s that it was in a tier above pizza but I really don’t see the logic in that. One kid got dominos and the other got McDonald’s so in my eyes they’ve both been treated fairly. ######

Response:
 NTA.

"It's his lunch. Did you have lunch?"

"Yes."

"What did you have for lunch?"

"[Birthday food]."

"Did your brother get [birthday food] for lunch?"

"No."

"Alright then. Do you want to hang out in your room for a bit while you figure out what this means?"

"No."

"Good. Let's heard no more about it." ######


Prompt:
Hey there,

First time posting. I (26f) was talking about our finances with my boyfriend (31m). He’s the only one working right now, I’m unable because of covid so I’m receiving CERB. We were going over paycheques and bills, when I noticed an extra 1000$ that wasn’t being talked about.

Backstory: his parents have lent him money recently, he also had an ex claim she was pregnant and then ran off with the child/block contact.

When I realized there was extra money not going either towards our bills, our house, or savings, I asked if he was sending money to someone this month. I just assumed he was paying back his parents, or maybe his ex had made contact and needed something for the baby. As soon as I asked he exploded with anger. Screaming at me accusing him of cheating. If it hurt his feelings and he actually thought I was accusing him, I’d have appreciated him just telling me that instead of screaming at me. He got so defensive and angry now I’m thinking there may be something sketchy going on. He was berating me of “not being happy until I get every penny out of him”, even though everything I have or make myself is put towards our house to secure a stable future together.

There’s been multiple red flags before, is this another one? Or am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

"Hey babe, I noticed this extra money here, maybe we can take care of some bills and..."

"WHAT?! I'M NOT CHEATING WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?! WHO SAID I'M CHEATING?!!".

He's cheating. ######


Prompt:
I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!

I have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face.

When carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair.

My husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth & on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.

His reasons are:
1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)
2- he says it is not manly
3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID).

This turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty?

So Reddit. Am I the asshole?

TLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ######

Response:
 NTA.

"Fellas, is it gay to touch your wife?" ######


Prompt: Needless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch/use/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place." Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

*Especially* when she found out you literally only had one belt and she took it anyway after being explicitly told not to do so. It's not like she was taking extra stuff that wasn't being used (in which case she would still be TA for not asking) but she literally took a daily necessity! ######


Prompt:
So, a little bit of background.

My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.

Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

**Your sisters feelings and entertainment are not more important than the health/life of your family.**

You did the right thing. Unfortunately doing the right thing isn’t always fun, easy, or comfortable.  Your sister should be the one who feels guilty, not you. Her behavior is cringe worthy. She was willing to put your grandmothers health at risk for her own entertainment. She seems entitled AF honestly- I can’t imagine thinking having a couple of my friends (who ignore social distancing) are worth the chance that my sweet MeaMaw contracts Covid-19.

**What your sister attempted  to do was manipulative, sneaky and shitty AF. I’m not sure if she’s ignorant to what’s going on it the world, but someone should remind her we are in a fucking pandemic.** ######


Prompt:
Okay so I'm 20 and I'm a bisexual woman. Recently, my niece came out to her parents and they were less than supportive. I'm not a confrontational person so to subtlety show my support for her I put "Bisexual" with a pride flag in my instagram bio because I knew my niece would see it. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm into women unless they explicitly ask.

My boyfriend saw it and got really mad. Like, fucking furious. He says that I'm in an relationship so there's no need to put my sexual preferences in my bio because I'm not "open for shop". He said that now girls are going to be attracted to me and guys are going to fetishsize me. He basically thinks this is a precursor to cheating.

He says that my bio and my "provocative" photos are giving people ideas.

I explained to him that I'm trying to show support to my niece but my boyfriend says that I don't have a choice. I either take it out or I'm leaving.

Am I an asshole? I understand where he's coming from. All his friends seem to agree with him but I have *zero* ill intentions. ######

Response:
 NTA.

**LEAVE THIS ASSHOLE**

1. He us acting like you're trying to put your sexuality out there because you want attention from others. This is who you are.

2. He said that you don't have a choice. Are you really wanting to be in a relationship where someone tells you that you don't have a choice in *anything*?

3. Leave him. You can find someone so much better than this trash. ######


Prompt:
Before anything- I am not currently pregnant but her daughter (bfs sister) is. We have talked a lot about marriage and kids recently so its casual conversation that's talked about lightly.

We recently visited my boyfriends parents house. After a few hours we were talking about his sister and his mother said that she was upset that due to hospital rules when the baby is born she wont be able to be there. She said that this is the first grandchild (she has like 10) that she wouldnt see being born.

I right away kind of brought up that when I have kids my boyfriend is the only person, besides the doctor and nurses obviously, that are allowed in the room. She initially looked hurt and said that she had been in the room for everyone and that she would stay by my head and talk. Again I said no and said no one is allowed to see that. But this is something I KNOW I will not and can't change my mind on.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

 You're giving birth, not her. ######


Prompt:
I'm F27 and my co-worker is M23, his GF makes him 3 meals a day and he brings in these amazing lunches to work all the time. He mentioned that she does all the cleaning, cooking, laundry and goes to school and has a part time job. When he told me that I was like wow you don't do anything at home? He just said work is stressful enough and she likes taking care of him. Yeah ok, I'm sure she does, is what I tell him. One day he brought in some lunch and asked if I wanted it because his GF didn't make the lasagna the way he likes it. I declined but heard him berating his GF on the phone about 5 mins later in the lobby of our office building. When we got up to the office I told him how he treats his GF is abusive and not right and he told me its none of my business and to stop prying in and spying on her personal life or he'll go to HR.... I told my girlfriend about this and she said that I'm a bit of an ass for confronting him about it and maybe it was just a one time blow up and I shouldn't get involved in his life.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.

This led to a lot of "jokes" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.

At one point, my husband's great uncle made a "joke" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.

My husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many "jokes" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######

Response: NTA..she literally started the joke, she’d probably want you to continue it in her memory. Also your brother in law is a homophobe which automatically makes him an AH. ######


Prompt:
I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.

Everyone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat.

My step mom says

“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!”

Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”

She says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.

My dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA...your stepmom set you up for failure. She knew you wouldn’t want to go, and she tried to spin it against you. She dangled the bait, and you took it.

So no, I wouldn’t apologize, but you’re a child living in your parents’ home. ######


Prompt: Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######

Response: NTA...your mom and stepdad are though. Seriously, who chooses their 8 year old kids bday to get married?!?! Talk about fucked up priorities...and to then just treat it like it’s ONLY your anniversary? That goes above and beyond being an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My granddad was a huge influence in my life. My relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times and whenever she kicked me out (which was often) he let me stay with him. When I turned 18 I went low (but not a complete lack of) contact with mum and lived with granddad for a while before going to uni, and he made clear that I'd always have a home with him. He passed when I was 22 and left me the lion's share of his estate. My family were upset with this and tried to get the will overturned, and failed, but this is when I went full no contact with them.

Granddad's name was Charles, and when I found out I was pregnant I asked my husband how he felt about using Charles for a boy or Charlie for a girl (fake names but same concept of using the gender neutral version of granddad's name). He said he loved it. So my daughter is called Charlie after granddad. I don't know how granddad would have felt about it, but I hope he'd have liked it.

My siblings reached out, asking me if I would be willing to catch up and maybe stay in touch. I agreed. Many of them hadn't met Charlie yet so introducing her was part of catching up. Hearing Charlie's name caused a pause and then "as in granddad Charles?" and I confirmed it.

My sister, who has a son named Charles, also after granddad, is not happy. She's said it's disrespectful to change the gender of the name and that I should have asked someone for permission because she knew Charlie was born over 5 years after granddad passed away. She said she'd asked granddad for permission before he passed and now we have a Charles and a Charlie. She's started calling Charlie by her middle name as a sign of respect to granddad.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta...now you have your excuse to kick the whole family. ######


Prompt:
My grandpa is old and need constant care and my family (mom, dad, sister and brother) are over to help him out, also my cousin's family is here (aunt, uncle and cousin).  We don't live there but we kind of do right now, my grandpa has a pool in his backyard and I LOVE to swim.  I do competitive swimming so I am a very good swimmer and I am almost always in the pool and swimming around or near the pool or just in the back yard.

I lost track of time and while I was swimming it was time for dinner (he eats around 5 and likes he whole family at the table).  I was still swimming and so I put on a quick hoodie and a pair of sweats and ate dinner.  I didn't notice but the bikini straps were showing and I had no idea after dinner.

Me and my sister share a room right now and she said that my straps were showing, I was embarrassed but didn't really see anything too wrong.  She got annoyed and said I should dress more "modestly" in front of the rest of the family, I told her to calm down and it was a mistake.  She said that its still bad and I should be more mindful of the rest of the family.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA...how old is your sister? If she's young I can see why she said that. Usually younger girls think that you're not supposed to give any indication whatsoever that you're wearing a bra or something. ######


Prompt:
It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives/friends houses too.  He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.

***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ######

Response: NTA...are you a housekeeper? Why does he keep doing this? ######


Prompt:
I am a preschool teacher. My niece (4) has really struggled to learn her letters and numbers mostly because my brother and SIL think it’s the school’s responsibility. I try to teach her when I see her but I have explained she needs to be ready for kindergarten next year. Most of my class knows their ABCs, can count up to a certain number, etc.

Niece has no diagnosed learning disabilities and when I teach her, she’s attentive and wants to learn. It just doesn’t stick because I don’t see her often and brother and SIL do fuck all.

My brother and SIL also think it’s “cute” when she miscounts when playing a game or when she gets a letter wrong. I don’t play along and redirect her to learn.

I recently told my brother (again) that he needs to get on top of teaching her. He shrugged me off. I said her not knowing things wasn’t “cute” and that her charm won’t carry her in life. This offended him and he told me that I was insulting his child. I said no, it’s not her fault. It’s on him.

Now we’re not speaking. My mom says I should apologize. I don’t think so. AITA? ######

Response: NTA..... Teacher here..... Two important factors are 1) Is the kid watching Sesame Street during the day and 2) Is the parent even trying to sing the Alphabet with them?  The biggest factor for a child's growth is that the parents are trying SOMETHING to show an interest in their kid.  His "Let the school handle it" is starting his kid off at a disadvantage.  Tell him AT LEAST to have the kid watch Sesame Street. ######


Prompt:
I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.

 Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.

I’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \*I\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.

At the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######

Response: NTA.... it’s your money, right? only you can decide what to do with it. it’s not selfish to use it on necessary things, like a car or to help pay for school. ######


Prompt:
My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.

&#x200B;

My roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.

&#x200B;

Usually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.

&#x200B;

A few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm "asleep." So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night.

&#x200B;

I \*could\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.

&#x200B;

AITA for not letting him in? ######

Response: NTA.... If they are going to be like this, they need to get their own damn apartment together. ######


Prompt:
So. the tech support company that we pay needed to reinstall software after we factory reset the computer.

Not a big deal, when we got the computer it took about half an hour to do it all.

Now, today I had an appointment so I just dropped it off. We know the owner, he married me and my husband so there's a good deal of trust.

It wasn't the owner but one of his workers. How badly could things go? They are installing their anti-virus/malware and TeamViewer, along with setting up an admi account for my husband and I.

 I told him the admin password to use, I WROTE IT DOWN . And well, the password they set? ....a number is the same and there's 2 same letters in the 12 letter password.

He did not install TeamViewer or the anti-virus. He added a "primary" admin account that neither my husband or I have access to and that monitors everything on the computer.

We can no longer install/update anything. I've been texting the owner and once I laid out all the issues,he started ignoring me until my husband texted him.

This is my computer, not my husband's but both the owner and employee refused to do the simple thing I requested and ignore me. Apparently as a woman I don't know computers.

I'm furious. I've been ignored, my privacy invaded.  How can I fix this myself without involving the tech support company?I  no longer trust them.

My husband is furious about the monitoring software.

Would I be the asshole if I left reviews detailing this on yelp and Facebook? ######

Response: NTA... you would be an asshole if you didn’t leave bad reviews! ######


Prompt:
Last week my parents and I had a serious discussion concerning life insurance. They are, by no means, expecting to pass anytime soon. However, they felt the need to have this set up now and speak with me about it.

The topic of my younger siblings eventually came up. I’m about 16 years older than both of them and I’m 23 currently. They simply wanted to know who should become their legal guardian should anything unfortunate happen. Unsurprisingly, their first option was myself. Their second option is my aunt whom they both trust immensely.

They explained to me that, if anything should happen to them, that I would have to prepare to care for my two siblings. They phrased it in such a way that I’d most likely have to move, find a different job, and raise them with my fiancé. They also told me that “it would be easy” because this life insurance would be helping me financially.

I declined fairly quick. My mom was completely understanding, which I appreciated. However, my stepdad seemed bothered by my decision. He didn’t say anything beyond “but they’re your brother and sister” and “you should be there for them”. Yeah, I love them unconditionally, but I don’t even want kids of my own! And the idea of my life potentially changing so drastically terrifies me.

They haven’t brought it up again since, but I’m starting to feel a bit guilty about my choice. I definitely feel selfish, but... I feel like it’s my right to say no? On the other hand, my stepdad’s words make me feel like the asshole here. ######

Response:
 NTA... you are not obliged to look after your siblings.

I was in a similar situation, social services decided my brothers kid needed to live elsewhere and got in contact with myself.... was a long resounding ‘noooooo’ and I have two of my own. (Other family was found willing)

As much as you love these children, if you can’t give them your all then I fundamentally believe it’s better for them to be looked after by family who can. ######


Prompt:
for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable.

i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job.

with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######

Response:
 NTA... that’s very strange. I don’t even have much to say because of how strange that is to me.

It’s your house. Wear whatever you want. ######


Prompt:
My friend(anna) and I live in the same town. We went to high school together and were pretty close friends since then.I moved into the current city I am living in for work and she moved to the same city a year ago with her girlfriend after her homophobic parents kicked her out(she came out to her parents at the age of 20 and hid it from them until then).

A few weeks ago,anna and her girlfriend had  a messy breakup and anna asked whether she could move in with me till the lockdown ends. I said yes.

I live alone with my 2 year old dog.

Its pretty hot where I live and both me and anna usually wear a bra and shorts at home. A week ago while we were having homemade pizza,a small bit fell on her thighs and instead of picking it up she called my dog and made him eat it(lick it off from her thighs). I found this a bit odd after she commented how warm and big my dog's tongue was but didn't comment.

After that incident, I saw this happening multiple times and grew more and more uncomfortable and tried telling this was weird asf.

She laughed it off saying that it was just funny and she missed her pet from her parents house.
Today,a few hours ago,I was coming out of my room after a meeting when I saw her applying nutella on her chest and on her nipple and have my dog lick it.

I was APPALLED and DISGUSTED.  she saw me while my dog was licking her and pushed my dog away and covered herself and tried to laugh it off as usual.

I was very angry by this point and told her I was going to kick her out immediately and what she did was disgusting and there was no excuse to it.

I meant it as a threat and a warning but she is refusing to apologise and is crying and accusing me of making her already difficult life  more difficult while completely avoiding the issue and now I am actually thinking of kicking her out.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA... That's just... Jesus.. ######


Prompt:
I've been with my gf for a while and we are both 16. Her parents keep asking me to tell my gf to do things. Like they'll tell me to tell her she needs to study, finish her homework, eat less junk food, go on her phone less, wake up earlier, etc. The first few times I told my gf "your parents told me to tell you x" and she would just complain about her parents being annoying. We started joking around about me being her parent and I'd jokingly say things like "take out the trash young woman" or "go to your room".

Her parents kept asking me to tell my gf things. I usually didn't even bring up to my gf what her parents are saying after a while. Then they'd call or text and ask if I told her and if I can ask her again as she still isn't doing what they want. I told them " I'm her partner not her boss. I'm not going to try to parent her. If I'm worried about her I'll talk to her privately but I'm not going to monitor stuff like if she is sleeping in late or not studying enough. It isn't my job to do that." They called me disrespectful and said I should be looking out for my gf. ######

Response: NTA... her parents are weird ######


Prompt:
My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.

 I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.

He was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######

Response: NTA... he got an illegal tattoo at 15. Who knows the sanitary conditions where he got it? If a tattoo artist ignores basic rules around age of consent, who knows where else they are cutting corners. IMO he's getting off easy with a punishment rather than hepatitis. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons.
I thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift.
I talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move.

She got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ######

Response: NTA... but your "friend" sure sounds like one. ######


Prompt:
So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment.

1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted
2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system.

Because I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.

Now I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######

Response: NTA... assuming you actually do have *legal* guardianship and you're in line with your state's laws, you are in the right. You're bearing the costs of their son and not them. ######


Prompt:
Me (28M) and my girlfriend (32F) have been together for 9 months and we currently live together in rented accommodation. We split everything evenly between us but pay for our own personal things, make up, computer games etc.

A few months ago upon leaving work I noticed a scratch down the side of my car across both doors and some of the rear. The quote I got for repairing of the damage was more than I could afford but I drive for work occasionally so wanted the car to look presentable. I asked my girlfriend to help me out so I could comfortably make rent payment and she refused saying this is a personal cost and not her problem.

We didn’t argue and I wasn’t too taken back as she is right and it’s not like I couldn’t use the car with the minor damage.

Fast forward to last week and my girlfriend upon returning from work scrapped the side of my car whilst parking outside of the house. The damage is much more significant to my vehicle than hers.

Upon discussing the matter she said that she will pay for her damages and I must pay for mine.

I said to her that this was unfair and she said ‘life’s unfair’ and the conversation ended there. I tried to discuss it with her one more time and she didn’t give me the time of day.

I got a quotation for the repair which exceeds what I think is reasonable for me to pay so I contacted my insurance and made a claim, having all of her details at hand. Today she stormed into the room screaming at me saying how selfish I was and that I should start handling my own responsibilities like an adult.

Am I the asshole here? I’ve tried my best to speak with her but it looks like it’s going to be a very lonely pandemic for me.

Thanks in advance for all the feedback. ######

Response: NTA... and get out. She clearly doesn’t respect your finances or property. ######


Prompt:
I know how I might be wrong. Calling my wife out  in public, adhering to a sexist stereotype, etc. I know hoe she might be in the wrong, lying and adhering to a sexist stereotype.

So, let’s start the story. Yesterday, a couple of my friends, my wife and I were video chatting. Casually, someone asked who was the breadwinner in our relationship. She full on lies and says that she’s the breadwinner. I think she expected for me to say nothing. I just mentioned that she was lying and that I actually earned more than her

The thing is I wouldn’t’ve cared if she didn’t answer or if she said that was sexist. I honestly wouldn’t’ve. But she falsely said that she did earn more than me. That’s entirely wrong, I earn more than twice than she does.

My wife is pretty mad and won’t talk to me because “I called her out” and “I was being a sexy(st) jerk”

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA... also, why the fuck does it matter so much to her? If she has to lie about it maybe she should get a better job or something if she’s going to feel so insecure about it. ######


Prompt:
This morning my mom woke me up to take care of the baby.

It went something like this m=my mother.
Op is me so it’s easier to read.

M: “Op get up now. You’re not hurting go change the baby.”

Op: “hold up my stomach is doing something”
At this point she’s yelling. And I’m already getting up.

M: “DO IT NOW!”

Op: “Jesus christ I’m getting up. You just had to wait 10 seconds.” During this time she was making a bottle.

M: “You’re always doing something! You’re head hurts or your stomach hurts. Or it’s homework. You’re so inconsiderate and a liar. I won’t take you driving until you treat me better.”

Op: “I don’t care if you take me driving. I’ll do it when I’m 18.”

This is the main problem for me. When she starts yelling I zone out or something and I don’t react to most things she says.

M: “You’re a selfish, inconsiderate child. What are a sociopath? I bet you’re lying about this. I don’t have time for breakfast and I can’t make lunch now.”

Op: “if you stop talking you can make it.” At this moment I was done with everything.

M: “You really don’t care.”

She went to her room and cried for 10 mins before going to work.

Some background. When I was around 8/9 I had a bad thing with lying. But I got over it and she still rubs it in my face. My dad can’t help as he is out of the picture. This happens almost every morning. ######

Response: NTA.. youre a teenager and its not your baby. Its very kind of you to be helping in the first place. Your mom sounds stressed but also like shes taking you for granted. ######


Prompt:
Some background info: my fiancée and I got engaged September of 2019, we decided to get married on our anniversary this year in October 2020. My aunt and her fiancée got engaged at the end of December 2019 like 1-2 days after Christmas and have set their wedding date in April 2021.
My wedding is going to be a courthouse wedding with a small nice intimate dinner for close friends and family (I only had 15 people or less on my list and have never wanted a ceremony). This will be my first (hopefully only) wedding.
My aunt is having a MASSIVE wedding ceremony and reception costing $60k+ with 200-500 people in attendance. This will be her second wedding.

Anyways onto the story, so back before the ‘rona started I was out with my group of close friends and a few mutuals for lunch.
I was talking about my upcoming wedding and then my Bf (best friend) and I began discussing my aunts wedding. Well one of my close friends and their mutual friend was listening and interrupted us to say that I HAD to change my wedding date because it was too close to my aunts and it wasn’t fair of me to “outshine” her. All other conversations stopped and everyone is still divided on the issue. I was so in shock I was silent for a bit and then left after saying “guess you’re uninvited then” and I cried in my bf car for 2 hours. It’s been bugging me for the past 2 months since it happened, I just can’t see how keeping my wedding date would be disrespectful to my aunt? I honestly don’t want to speak with those people anymore but maybe I’m looking at it from the wrong perspective? My absolute closest friends (known for 10+ years) say that I’m NTA but enough of them are saying that I will be if I don’t move my wedding that I’m beginning to wonder WIBTA for keeping my wedding date as is? ######

Response: NTA.. wait.. do I have a bum calendar because October is not even close to April...how is your date close to hers? Did I read that wrong? I don’t think you are TA for not changing the date... I think.. ######


Prompt:
I'm honestly just questioning things right now and I want honest answers. Please hear me out.

So, my fiance has a brother who is autistic. He's a great kid and he's pretty fun to hang out with. I had absolutely no problem with him until he grabbed my butt. I have circumstances that I can't handle people touching me out of nowhere and his brother came up behind me and did it. I broke down crying and I shut down for around half an hour.

After I had recovered, his mother told me,"Oh, he has autism. He doesn't know any better." I got really pissed at her when she said that because he's almost 13. I don't treat him any different than I do from my fiance's other brother. I don't give him special passes or special treatments just because he's autistic. I treat him like he's a normal 13 year old kid.

His mother got angry at me because I got protective about myself and my body and that I wasn't willing to just brush it off because he's autistic. I wasn't mad at him, I'm pissed at his mother using his autism as an excuse for how he touches other people. I'm worried he's gonna get hurt one day because his mom is excusing his behaviour.

So, am I the asshole? ######

Response: Nta.. the parents are putting the kid's life in danger.. autism is not a reason not to teach.. if they keep doing that, he might end up doing something to someone who won't give a fxck about his autism and end up hurting him.. have u talked to your fiance about it? It looks like the kid has a good grasp on what's right or wrong if he understands boundaries.. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.

Today I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.

She said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.

She got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.

She blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.. sore winning is as bad as sore losing. You dont even need an excuse to say no... playing games together is supposed to be fun and challenging for everyone.

but ... if you want to shut her down hard, heres what you do... tell her you are going to spend the night practising and studying chess (dont do that - just enjoy a peaceful quiet night at home). When you set up for your game with her, open a second game on your phone (player vs CPU) and set it on the hardest difficulty.

When she makes a move, input it into the game on your phone, then just take the CPUs reply move and play it against her.

Beat her badly a few times and then just accept your victory graciously and without celebration (or literally rip off your shirt and do the gatorade thing if you like)

Either way, problem solved. ######


Prompt:
Some context I live in an apartment complex where the doors face eachother and the space is relatively small. I understand how the camera works in that it picks up on motion and what not and sends an alert to your phone.

My primary concern with this is that this particular neighbor has a history of stealing my packages or attempting to. I've caught him at least 3-4 times stealing my chewys orders and even tried to steal my grandfathers fathers day gift when it was delivered. Hell I have to be careful with food delivery because he tries to steal my groceries when theyre delivered and my uber orders if I order out ((we are in a hotspot and im high risk for covid so I stay put most of the time)).

I also work over night so I tend to walk my dogs around 4 am when I get off and its cool. The other day I got a nasty note on my door from him telling me not to walk my dogs as I set off the alarm.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA.. how is he gonna install a camera overlooking a PUBLIC SPACE by the way and be mad at YOU for walking your dog.... IN A PUBLIC SPACE. ######


Prompt:
So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.
My mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.
Now onto the story.

My sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning.
The problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.
I’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.
My niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.
My mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Youve taken in every child so far. You have other siblings who can care for them, and if they were so close to your sister hopefully they will. You are still adjusting to your current family dynamic. Take time to focus on your core family for now. You cant be expected to take everyones children ...especially if later in life you and your gf want your own. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I currently live in a caravan on the beachside, it’s 2bed and a nice place to live, we are planning on moving sometime though as we are expecting our first child but we’re looking at a 3bed house in a similar area.

The extra bedroom was planned to be another babies room as we want two children.

My wife’s grandmother suffers from short term memory loss and everything is emotional with her, she’ll cry when you put away her food and cry when she has peas, she’ll cry about cold weetabix,  she’ll hide her soiled underwear, wrap her veg in tinfoil and hide that and lately she’s been found in her garden in a confused state.

She’s got a carer but the company isn’t prepared for the state my wife’s grandmother is in anymore and has suggested a care home, my wife will not do that, I’ve suggested a live in carer but my wife believes she’s better with us (we’re her only family)

I’m 28 and my wife is 25, I don’t think I’m prepared to not only have a newborn but also someone who requires a lot of care.

My wife works from home, sometimes so she’d be the one mostly caring for our newborn and her grandmother.

She’s said her grandmother can live with us and we’ll hire a carer to come in twice a day.

The thing is I don’t want to compromise, we will have a new house and I don’t  want soiled underwear hidden  around the house.

My wife isn’t speaking to me currently for making her pick between her or family, we are family so it should be easy enough.

My mother thinks I’m being an asshole.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your wife's grandmother needs to be a stable environment that provides constant enrichment, medical support, and psychological care. Dementia is not something that can be managed in an unsecured house while simultaneously caring for a newborn and attempting to work. A carer coming in to assist two times a day does not mean that she'll be able to leave the house to go shopping or take the baby to the doctor. Babies are rough on adult sleep schedules, but if you've got a dementia patient in the house, naps will be few and far between. A new baby also adds a lot of laundry ... and so does a person who has continence issues. Your wife will have to make sure that grandma is never left alone in the kitchen (turning on burners and appliances is common with unsupervised dementia patients), that her bath time is supervised (and she'll probably have to help with basic hygiene), and that all doors to the outside are constantly secured. And this is just the short-list of issues.

Your wife has an unrealistic idea of what she will be capable of handling. She is purposely NOT looking at this from a practical and realistic perspective because for her, it's an emotional decision. Validate her emotional desire to be there for her grandmother and encourage her to start thinking about what is REALLY best for everyone in this situation. It would be one thing if you were moving into HER house (where she'd be in a familiar place, which helps a lot with dementia patients), but she'd be moving into an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar place, and all of the people and rhythms she's accustomed to will be gone. I work with dementia patients and those things are HUGE issues that can cause enormous emotional distress. Being moved into an environment that is designed for such patients is a MUCH better option and her grandmother will benefit from the constant attention and interaction. Wishing you all kinds of luck. ######


Prompt:
Background & Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress/frustration/constant policy changes.

Years ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.

Incident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it.

Few friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your wife needs to act like an adult and learn to do things for herself. You have a full time job - you don’t need her job to cost you more hours if your day than it does her. ######


Prompt:
So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well.

My wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos.

This has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand.

However when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids.

I feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your wife is being ridiculous. 10-15 minutes of conversational Japanese will not kill her, especially if she isn't even around for it. She sounds incredibly selfish and immature. ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.

For some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.

Things have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of "You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant".

As a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your wife is aware of the fact that you suffered from an eating disorder, correct? Then, pregnancy hormones or not, she should try not to talk about such things around you. I get that she wants someone to reassure her and tell her that she’s still beautiful, but, when it comes to her weight, she can look for that reassurance somewhere else. If I knew that my partner was triggered by something, I would do my best not to bring up that topic, especially if it could make them relapse. ######


Prompt:
So I am probably TA but I am curious

My parents split when I was around 5ish, my dad stayed single but my mom remarried when I was 11 to a guy who had 3 kids of his own.  At the time they were 13, 10, and 9 while I was 11 about to turn 12, I only saw them like one week in a month cause my dad had primary custody.  We never really blended cause I rarely if ever saw them and I always felt like my mom kind of forgot about me for them.  There was 1 big incident when I was 13 and while at my dads they went on a really big 2 and a half week vacation, and I didn't even find out about it till I was at their place and my step sister let it out, they were trying to hide it from me..........

After that incident I lived full time with my dad and only saw them for 1 month in the summer and nothing else.  I didn't cut contact but I went extremely low contact when I went to college.  I met my GF in college and we dated for a couple years and are now engaged.  We WERE supposed to already have our wedding but that got canceled, and now its gonna be whenever the world is safe again.

I sent out the invites, and its basically both our families and friends, I sent one to my mom and told her only she can come but not her husband or his kids.  She said thats completely unfair and said she can't come if at least her husband can't go with her.  I told her that I want it only family there, she said that she will think about coming but will have to think about it.

I was talking with my SO about this and she is saying that I'm being "too hard" on my mom.  I said I can see what she is saying but she doesn't understand why I don't want my step family at the wedding.  She dropped the convo but said she wishes I reconsider.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Your mom made her choices years ago. She doesn’t get to play loving mom now just because she wants to. Your SO has not had the same experiences as you and is most likely having difficulty understanding the depth of damage your mother did your relationship. So cut her a little slack. ######


Prompt:
I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married.

My grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style.

When I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart”

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your wedding, your choice. End of discussion.

Bad luck? I just can't. Weddings and marriages aren't "successful" bc of luck. ######


Prompt:
I have grown a peach tree from seed. A lot of care and planning had gone into this tree, from genetic planning to training and now I have gotten my first harvest(6lbs of fruit- dwarf tree)

A few days after harvest, my mother asked me when I’m going to distribute some along the neighbourhood to which I said I wasn’t planning on doing so. She says that’s mean as people have noticed the tree and are expecting something and I said yea well tough luck.

I intend on eating a good chunk of it myself fresh and then preserving the rest by pickling them with honey.

Note: all care towards this tree was performed by me alone and it’s on MY private property and not a communal area. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your tree, your land, your peaches.

The Song goes 'Millions of Peaches, Peaches for me.'

Tell 'em Peaches for me, not for thee. ######


Prompt:
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.

My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.

Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######

Response: NTA. Your title is misleading. You aren't excluding one of his friends. You are excluding his toxic ex. Nobody should be surprised that she isn't invited. ######


Prompt:
From the age of 13-17 yo I went to a boarding school where I was bullied. Although there were many people that treated me like shit, there was this one guy who's worse than the others. From name calling to physical bullying, he did it all. I was horrified of him. Really horrified. It went to a point that I absolutely willing to do anything so just I won't have to stumble upon him.

At the age of 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders and depression. Sure he wasn't the only cause of it but he sure did his fair share. I couldn't drop out of the school because I went there on scholarship. Dropping out would mean I have to pay it back. Could not really talk to any adults either because snitches get way more stitches.  In the subsequent years, I learned to make myself small so that nobody would notice my presence. Things did not get better but it's bearable.

A few days before I officially finished my highschool and went my own ways, he came to me apologizing. I asked him why he treated me horribly for all those years. He told me that there was no reason for it. Apparently I might've rub him the wrong way somehow. He asked me to forgive him because once we out of school we probably will never met again.
I told him no.

A few days ago, his wife reached out to my friend asking for my number. She called me asking if I'm willing to talk to his husband. Apparently he's not in good condition health wise and is still bothered that I didn't accept his apology. I don't know the details but my friend told me he's dying.

My therapist told me that I need to let go of my past. My boyfriend told me to be the bigger person and  I will be TA if I were to ignore him.

WIBTA if I still refuse to talk to him or accept his apology? ######

Response: NTA. Your therapist is right, you need to let go of the past and move on, however that doesn’t mean that you have to accept his apology. He terrorized you for years, you don’t owe him anything even on his death bed. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway.

My parents divorced when I was thirteen years old. Two years later my dad married my step-mother. Now I (25 F) am got married to my fianceé (27 M).

Anyway, my step-mother is against LGBTQ+ and HATES when females wear suits, so she FLIPPED when I asked my Tomboyish and non-gender confirming friends to stand by me on my side. They both looked wonderful in their suits by the way.

Anyway, my mother berated me for inviting them to my bridal party and it made me angry, because they were my closest friends, no matter what.

So I told her to be quiet and not come to my wedding if she doesn't like it and added: "they're my best friends and I want them there."

She ended up not coming to my wedding but later I got a call from my step-sister yelling at me for being rude to 'our' mom.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your stepmom should be more accepting and it’s your wedding not hers. ######


Prompt:
I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.

he frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse.

as much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial "support"(he blows all his money on stupid things)

my mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care).

I recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like "your mom needs you to stay here", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.

today was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone "because she wanted to do something nice for him". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.

I think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.

AITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ######

Response: NTA. Your step-father is abusive, and your mother is enabling his abuse. You're absolutely justified in wanting to cut this toxicity out of your life. No one should have to put up with abusive behaviour, and if the best way to protect yourself from his abuse is to cut both of them out of your life, please go ahead and do that. Your emotional health is important and worth protecting. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway.

My parents divorced when I was thirteen years old. Two years later my dad married my step-mother. Now I (25 F) am got married to my fianceé (27 M).

Anyway, my step-mother is against LGBTQ+ and HATES when females wear suits, so she FLIPPED when I asked my Tomboyish and non-gender confirming friends to stand by me on my side. They both looked wonderful in their suits by the way.

Anyway, my mother berated me for inviting them to my bridal party and it made me angry, because they were my closest friends, no matter what.

So I told her to be quiet and not come to my wedding if she doesn't like it and added: "they're my best friends and I want them there."

She ended up not coming to my wedding but later I got a call from my step-sister yelling at me for being rude to 'our' mom.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your step mom is discriminating and your step sister supports that from her response. If they really cared  and wanted to be there they would have looked past all that. Sad that their hate extends further than their love. ######


Prompt:
- This is a throwaway. I am typing this on my tablet.

Me and my husband have two children, twins boy ( "Liam") and girl (" Molly") who are 10.

Our rules for giving them pocket money are:

- £10 is the start off.

- Any bad behaviour that is continued after a warning will mean £1 is deducted.

- For the 5 weekdays they will each have the oportunity to do 2 houshold tasks a day, each task rewards them with an extra £1 towards their pocket money. If they do 2 chores a day for every weekday, their total is £15.

- If for each weekday their room is tidy (no mess on floors, clothes and toys put away) then they get and extra £3 towards their weekly total. We let them know in advance if we feel their room is unclean so they have a chance to earn the money.

- If their bed is made each week day then they get an extra £2 for the total.

So if they do all of this their weekly total is £20. On the weekend any chore they do earns them a bonus £1 which is given to them right away.

We always set aside easy chores, and always give them a chance to say yes or no. We do not save better chores for either of them.

Liam's pocket money at most has been £14, the least he has ever been given is £6. We offer both of them a chance to earn back money they lost. Molly almost always gets £20 and will do a few bonus chores as well. Molly sometimes saves her money, the most she has saved it for is 5 weeks, Liam has had many arguments with me and his dad saying that we are picking favorites and giving her more money. She has more stuff than him but that is because she earned the money and saves it.

My MIL and FIL do not agree with mine and their sons ways. But we both believe we are doing nothing wrong, since there is no reason my son would not be able to do chores, and we always offer chores to him. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your son has the same opportunities and is choosing not to do them, as well as not to save. It's a life lesson.

Also, my room is clean so can you send me a couple? ######


Prompt: Last year my mom was diagnosed with pretty much a death sentence, ALS. I talked to my ex and he didn’t wanna just let me take our son( now 14). So we agreed to talk to him and let him know what was happening, kinda, I just told him grandma was really sick and I was thinking of moving to help out and he had the choice of coming w me or staying w his dad. It was painful but he choose to stay and I respected it, I just didn’t tell him how bad my mom was idk if that would have changed anything but I didn’t wanna guilt him or anything like that. I have friends who have said I should have let him know the extent of my mom illness and guilted my ex into letting my son move w me but I just can’t do that. He’s a teen and loves me and his dad and comes for the summer and spring break I can’t guilt him into wanting to live w me. It across the country like a 24 hr drive. I feel like an AH for not doing everything to get my son to live w me but I don’t want him to resent me for making him move, so tell me honestly AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your son at 13 would know what grandma is really sick and I need to take care of her means. It’s not like he’s a little boy. You left the choice up to him without guilting him and that’s being a good parent. ######


Prompt:
Post ahead so get in.

Backstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.

Now i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]

L is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like "I miss the homies and the drugs". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit.

I've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say "Its her life, let her do what she pleases" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to "Stay in my lane"

She recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs.

Edit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like "You cant tell me what to do." I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.

 Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Your sister's brain is still developing, heavy drug use will not be good. Please report it. ######