Prompt:
I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark.  I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday).  The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering.  I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing.  I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday.  Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it?  I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration.  I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.

TLDR:  am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?

(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ######

Response: NTA. Please take care of yourself and your own emotional well-being. :( ######


Prompt:
There’s this girl I know who is moving apartments; however, there is a 4 day difference between the end of her current lease and the start of her new one.

She said she was looking for a place to stay (I think money is tight so a hotel is not ideal), so I offered to let her spend those nights at my apartment on my sofa. She said no and that it was fine. Over the next few days she kept bringing up her problem again so I kept offering in total, I offered ~5 times. The last time, I specifically told her that would be the final offer and of she said no and later changed her mind, I’d say no.

Well now she’s gone and changed her mind and is asking again. It really isn’t an inconvenience for me, but I continually offered it to her, and she rejected knowing full well that I would say know if she asked. So I told her no.

I mentioned this to a friend of mine who says I’m being an asshole.

So uh AITA? I guess if I am then I’ll offer it again... ######

Response: NTA. Please don’t be a pushover she’s clearly using you as a last resort. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

So reddit, AITA for not wanting to just use my fiancé’s last name for our kids? ######

Response:
 NTA. Please don't marry someone who doesn't respect your autonomy, think about things any more deeply than 'its tradition', or argue points in a manner more sophisticated than 'no backsies'.

The idea that he's 'letting' you keep your name makes me want to vom. ######


Prompt:
So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me.

They were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop.

He started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit.

After that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew.

But they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset.

AITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ######

Response: NTA. Please break up with your boyfriend. He has no respect for you and he essentially views you as a sex object for his entertainment. ######


Prompt:
My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.

I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.

He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.

So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .

Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.

I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Maybe he’ll stop with the stupid, transparent excuses now. ######


Prompt:
I was looking at an Instagram video of two black teens giving clothes and shoes to a white guy (yes, race is important here) because he was bullied in school for his clothes. It was really wholesome and to me did not at all make the impression that it was for clout.

I went on to look at the comments and saw some guy commenting „They just gave back what they stole anyways“ and then replying to other comments making it clear he was racist. I checked his profile and it turned out he was/is a student athlete at high school and playing football for the varsity team. Long story short: I wrote an e-mail to the school asking them if it was okay with them that their players publicly out themselves as being racist and submitted screenshots of his profile and comments.

I haven‘t received a reply by the school yet, because this happened like 20 minutes ago but I am kinda wondering... did I do the right thing? I could have as well just minded my business, it was just an internet comment and it might cost him his career. ######

Response: NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. He didn’t have to publicly post those comments on the video but he did. If he really cared about his future and image he wouldn’t be acting as he did. So you didn’t do anything wrong except out a racist and probably taught him a lesson at the same time ######


Prompt:
My 8yo daughter has been staying at my Ex's for the past fortnight. We have a shared custody arrangement and she enjoys staying over there  as my Ex's wife also has a daughter several years older who she looks up to. Depsite being long separate, I would say the arrangement had previously being working well given the circumstances.

Unfortunately, things turned for the worst when I went to pick up my daughter last Friday night. I had discovered that my daughter had gotten her ears pierced without my permission. She already had her ears pierced once before and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she was wearing 3 earrings on one ear and 5 on the other including one up in the cartilage. Initially I thought they must have been magnet earrings or something but then I saw the earring posts at the back of her ears and they were indeed all pierced.

I asked my Ex's wife who was present how did this happen and she said that her daughter wanted her ears pierced again and my daughter wanted the same. Apparently she had a piercing gun and they did it at home. She was going on how my daughter was so brave getting this done. I went off at her and said that it may be o.k for her daughter who is in her early teens but my daughter is way too young and what was she thinking. I also said the least they could have done is call me first and that I will be reconsidering custody arrangements now. My Ex's wife responded by saying that her father was o.k with it and they didn't need my permission.

When we got home I removed the earrings from my daughter's ears. This upset her as she wanted them to remain. She is now asking to go back to her father's place to stay. AITA here or was my reaction justified? ######

Response: NTA. piercing guns are dangerous and can cause massive issues with healing, you have no idea if it was done in a sterile environment and if the person had any training with hepatitis or infection prevention, also cartilage piercings are harder to heal, they take longer and can get infected easily. also there are nerves in the cartilage that if pinched can cause damage. I'd take your kid to a dr to get tested, piercing guns are made of plastic and cannot be properly sterilized between uses. ######


Prompt:
my mom dropped her phone in the toilet at WORK the other day. she put her phone in rice for 40ish hours, and today, she USED THAT RICE TO MAKE LUNCH.

i told her there's no way im eating that, because her phone was in it. even if it hadnt dropped in a toilet, its DISGUSTING. she said its okay, since she disinfected her phone after it fell in the toilet and she washed the rice before making it.

i still absolutely refuse to eat it, she said that im being nitpicky and that its not a big deal. AITA??? ######

Response: NTA. Phones are extremely germy and filthy and even though she disinfected it I still wouldn't want rice that has had TOILET water on it. Idc if that stuff got washed, that's still gross IMO ######


Prompt:
So I (F18) have pretty severe arachnophobia. I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but seeing spiders can send me into what I call “cringe attacks” where I kinda spasm uncontrollably for a few minutes while physically cringing, and there have been a few cases where seeing too many spiders in one place or too close has caused me to have panic attacks. I’m not scared of them hurting me (I live in a country where they’re usually harmless) I just can’t deal with how they look or move. I can’t even look at videos or pictures of them.

I’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember and have usually relied on my parents (mostly my dad) to get rid of spiders for me if I see them. I try my best not to be a bother but my parents usually get angry at me anyway because of what I do to avoid them. (I won’t shower if there’s one by the bath, I’ll avoid going to the toilet for as long as possible if there’s one nearby, I’ll refuse to go in areas of the house where spiders usually are, etc). There have been several occasions where I’ve gotten into trouble for trying to sleep downstairs or in the hallway because I woke up at 4/5am with a spider in my room and didn’t want to wake anyone up to make them get rid of it.

I’ve brought up therapy a few times but they both just say I’m being difficult and that I’m overreacting and need to get over it myself. I can’t set up my own appointment because I’m autistic and have social anxiety. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to go to an appointment now because of the current situation.

I’m not sure what else to do, but maybe they’re right? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Phobias aren’t choices. You’ve expressed to your parents that you would willingly participate in therapy and that it’s something you want to do, and instead of enabling that they are continuing to complain about and berate you about a problem they're standing in the way of solving.

The positive here is that you are an adult and can make the decision to engage in therapy on your own. If your social anxiety and autism keeps you from being able to call or approach the therapist over the phone or in person, is there someone trusted in your friend group or at school that you could have help with the process? There’s also online therapy that can be done without having a counselor face-to-face, either through email or text chat. I would urge you to look into all of your options there. ######


Prompt:
About 6 weeks ago as we were leaving our house we saw a pet rabbit on the road outside our house. It was already dark out. We get home 2 hours later and it's still there.

We park the car and I go onto the road to see if I can catch it - it runs right up to me so I pick it up and take it inside. It's late now so I decide to look for the owner the next day.

We ask around our neighbours. No one knows who's it is.

So we just keep it.

Last Friday my partner was talking to a little girl outside our house, he was playing with our cat and she said she used to have a rabbit that's the same colour but she lost him. This is the rabbit we found.. Identical colouring.

So she runs off to get her mum to ask if she can have the rabbit back. Mum turns up and says yes so I hand over the rabbit and the food I'd bought for it.

This morning at about 5.30am I wake up early and go sit in my garden. Suddenly the rabbit runs up and sits next to me. I pick it up and take it inside. I hadn't tidied up its food dish yet (yes I am lazy for that one) and it just ate and ate like it hadn't eaten in days. I gave them the food!!

Also it was still dark. I went out on to the street and no lights are on in the houses (I didn't look to see exactly which one they lived in but I know the rough area.. All lights off in all of them) so they've obviously let the rabbit out all night.

WIBTA if I keep the rabbit and if they ask tell them I haven't seen it. I feel bad for the little girl but I'm really angry at the mum. My feelings towards the mum don't matter though, just want to keep the rabbit safe. ######

Response: NTA. Pet rabbits shouldn't be free range. You're just trying to protect it. The owner doesn't seem to have much knowledge or care for it. ######


Prompt:
I will try to keep this as concise as possible.

My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.

I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.

More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######

Response: NTA. Personally I'd think enabling what is probably an addiction would make you TA. You're not forcing her to workout or degrading her. You shouldn't have to make double the meals. Encourage her to get therapy. ######


Prompt:
The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)

We have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.

Last night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.

My wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.

So tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there)

As we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.

I honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ######

Response:
 NTA. Personally I probably would've made them come back and help last night, but cooking one dinner because they bailed on cleaning up is super reasonable. They're old enough they should be learning how to cook anyway (especially the 17 year old but even 13 is plenty old enough to know your way around a kitchen)

The best punishments are also skills. You didn't randomly take their electronics or something that's totally unrelated. You're teaching them the amount of work that actually goes into a home cooked dinner and that they need to value other people's efforts for them. Honestly good job ######


Prompt:
So I was selling a couple of my son’s old baby items online and as I was cleaning out the garage, I saw a Bugaboo pram set we borrowed from a friend when my son was younger.  So I called her to see if she wanted to come to get it and she asked if I could sell it with my items for her and she wants $300 for it, and sure I’m fine with that.

So a few people had some interest in the pram and I finally got an interested buyer one evening who would come and collect it for the $300 the next morning. We swapped numbers, address etc and in my eyes its sold unless she doesn’t come and get it in the morning.

In the morning I had another lady message me about the pram and I advised her that it’s pretty much sold pending pick up/payment and that the lady is actually coming to collect it this morning and if she doesn’t get here by lunchtime I will release it to her instead, because the deal was morning pick up/payment. This new lady was quite desperate it seems and offers me $350 if I cancel the other lady now and give her the pram. But I said no sorry its sold pending and I’m not sure if the lady is already in her car driving to my house I just can’t call her and turn her around if she were.

I told my friend this happened when I gave her her money and she calls me TA because I didn’t cancel one woman and accept the other woman and get her the better price and now she’s responding to me with one word responses. WTH? ######

Response: NTA. Perhaps your friend should’ve sold her own damn pram if she could’ve done it better. ######


Prompt:
So this happened last year. I got engaged back in 2018, and chose my wedding party, 3 of my closest friends, and my fiancé chose his brother and 2 of his friends. Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister (then brother). There wasn't any bad blood or anything, we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak.

About 2 months before my wedding, my sister came out as a trans woman. I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life. Shortly after, she approached me and asked to be one of my bridesmaids, saying that it would basically be a sort of milestone for her in her new life as a woman. I told her no, because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away. I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding, but it would be hard to include her at that last minute. She said she understood and didn't bring it up again. She ended up not attending the wedding, despite RSVPing yes. My parents and I tried reaching out several times over last year to see if she was okay, but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone.

We finally talked recently and she told me she 'boycotted' my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still. That isn't true at all. She insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable, I would have included her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. People will always, always make someone else’s wedding about themselves. She should have spoken more with you about it instead of boycotting your wedding altogether. ######


Prompt: So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a "micro influencer" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. "Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind." That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######

Response: NTA. People who use other people’s conditions for clout if fucking disgusting. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology

So I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.

For clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.

I ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat

I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her

When we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.

I am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######

Response:
 NTA. People tend to act out at people closest to them. It looks like your sister is doing the same. And considering her age she probably doesn't know how to deal with certain and possibly new feelings/emotions yet. It's always so much easier to make someone else the bad guy than to deal with your emotions. Yay for puberty.

It can also be a very inefficient way to get your attention. As you get older relationships change and the way you spent time together. Try to make some time and do something together that you used to do. Hopefully this will help her break out of this negative focus on you and stop her from overreacting when she's  experiencing negative emotions. ######


Prompt: My wife and I had our second baby two months ago. We were pretty indecisive with a name and nothing really shined for us.  Eventually one of the options grew on me and turned into my top choice. My wife also liked it but was concerned because a former coworker/friend had used the name for her daughter about a year prior.  The name isn't rare but also not one of the most common.  Now, she was fairly close with this coworker when they worked together over two years ago and they remain in contact via Facebook and texting. They have only seen each other once in the last 2+ years since my wife left the job despite only living 15 minutes away from each other and my wife doesn't expect this to change.  The coworker recently told my wife that she was very upset we used her baby's name and also the same spelling and she is slowly getting over it.  Personally I feel obligated to avoid names of family members or close friends but not coworkers that I don't even hang out with outside work.  AWTA? ######

Response: NTA. People pick the same name. They're in no position to demand that you don't use a particular name. If people could "claim" names we'd have far fewer Mikes in the world. ######


Prompt:
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.

My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######

Response: NTA. People need to stop treating autistic people (especially high functioning) like useless babies. He knows that how he is acting isn't appropriate. Good on you for calling him out because, it seems obvious that no one else is holding/teaching him to acting like a decent person. ######


Prompt:
So, a little bit of background.

My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.

Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. People need to grow up and do the right thing until this is over. You did the right thing, she did not. This is how people get sick, and this is how people die. ######


Prompt:
I (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.

am i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######

Response: NTA. People get caught up in blood realations and the idea of "But they're *family*" meaning that you need to forgive them for pretty much anything. They don't get that being related by blood doesn't stop some people from being horrible. ######


Prompt:
I(20f) live with my bf(24) and I’m allergic to cats

Last week I came home to find him on the couch petting a very chonky cat. He knows I am allergic but told me that his friend needed to get rid of it so he took it. The cat sheds its fur a lot and my eyes burn, I’m constantly sneezing and I break out in hives. My bf also lets the cat sleep in our bed so I can’t sleep there.

I told him that he needs to get rid of the cat as i feel like absolute shit because of my allergy. I’ve tried taking allergy medicine but it doesn’t work very well for me. WIBTA if I made him get rid of it ######

Response:
 NTA. People can't get pets without consulting the other humans they live with. That's just a basic rule of living with others.

It's actually pretty weird that your BF doesn't care about how this is affecting you. Is he planning on getting rid of the cat and this is temporary? ######


Prompt:
I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.

So around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints.

Anyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg.

Halfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?

TL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######

Response: NTA. People around you should be understanding of your medical conditions and help you out. You can’t help your physical condition and they should understand your limitations and support you. ######


Prompt:
Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though.

I have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc.

It's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. People are usually sick for days or weeks, not *months* (unless it’s something really bad). If this has been going on that long, she needs to see a doctor, because there’s a chance it could be something fairly serious. ######


Prompt:
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for
about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts
because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.

He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself.

I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like.

Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with.

I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?

also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######

Response: NTA. Partners should be excited for each other trying new things/being involved with things they love. He doesn't want you to do it because not doing a sport is something you have in common right now? That's a load of crap. He sounds insecure and clingy. ######


Prompt:
I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately.

So now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being "extra" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Parents need to start teaching their little boys that they don't get to just devour all the good and easy food in the house because they are hungry or just want to eat it. It's mind-boggling to me how many posts there are on here and relationship advice Reddits about full grown men eating all the leftovers or good snacks without thinking of leaving any for anyone else, including their own children. ######


Prompt:
My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it.

I am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left.

Husband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total.

I felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her,  especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective.

So, AITA?

Edit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed.

Also I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ######

Response: NTA. Parenting is supposed to be done together and watching her for 2 hours shouldn't be too hard, especially when you seem to take care of her the rest of the time. He could and should help you more and/or help you pay for a babysitter because it isn't fair for him to make you take care of her like 99% of the time. ######


Prompt:
So, my (22 F)  mom (55) is a very passive-aggressive person. She’s not a nice lady, so much so that if my dad (an amazing human being) wasn’t around, I’d write her off forever and not regret a second of the rest of my life. She makes snide and downright tasteless comments about everything in my life, but this time was about my weight. I know I’m over weight, but I’m so tired of her sh*t. She’s not any better than me, she’s been overweight and diabetic my whole life. Her mom died two years ago and had advanced Alzheimer’s. It runs in her family (I’m adopted).

A couple days ago, she said, “one day you’re going to get diabetes and die and I’m not going to feel bad for you.” It had been a long ass day, plus I’m quarantined with this lady, so I said, “Well, you’re going start to lose your mind one day and we’ll see who’s left to take care of you.” She kinda looked at me and left the room.

It’s been 3 days and she hasn’t talked to me. I feel like I may have crossed a line, but I also feel like she might have deserved it after all the soul-crushing stuff she’s said to me my whole life. I can and will list more stuff she’s said if y’all need more context to our relationship. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Overweight or not you don’t deserve to be treated like shit. I’d say you gave her exactly what she gave you and nothing uncalled for or excessive. ######


Prompt:
So my dog is 4 years old and I just found out she has cancer.  The vet said that it was caught early and that with surgery and chemotherapy it’s very likely that she’ll have a full recovery and live a full life like she never had it.  The only thing is that she estimates it would cost between 9-10k for the treatment. I don’t have pet insurance, but instead I’ve been putting $100/week into a separate bank account just in case something like this happened.

Now when I told my gf of 2 years about my dog, she asked what I was going to do, since it’s not like she expected me to have that kind of money lying around.  And if I hadn’t been saving money specifically for my dog, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford her treatment.  When I told her about the money and that I was going to pay for the surgery, she was upset because 1. She didn’t know about the account and 2. I’d be spending so much money when she’s out of a job and struggling.  She moved in with me a few months ago and doesn’t have to pay rent.  We haven’t really discussed finances that much, but I know being laid off has hurt her.

She thinks that I shouldn’t spend it on my dog and wants me to save the money for if/when we get married or have kids.  I told her that I’m going to do it and I’m going to schedule my dogs treatment soon.  With all that’s happening, neither of us have been able to spend time away from each other, so we haven’t said much the past 24 hours and she’s still upset that I’m picking my dog over our future.  So, AITA for spending so much money on my dog? ######

Response: NTA. Our cat was only 2.5 when he became very ill. We were also in the midst of a massive (200K) renovation on our house. The vet said, "save him or put him down." It was Christmas, house, 3 kids, 25th wedding anniversary.... When I called hubby I said, "let this be my anniversary and Christmas gift." He is usually quite generous at milestones. He replied, "save the cat but you're still getting Christmas presents." Kids also volunteered to give up their Christmas for him. Cat is 13 now and we've never regretted saving him. ######


Prompt:
My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.

My sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he  that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said  I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Others are telling you to call CPS. Another option would be to call the doctor who prescribed the braces, tell him/her about the situation and see if they would be willing to make a phone call to your sister to request a follow-up appointment where they can disabuse her of the notion of "his natural progress" and emphasize the importance of wearing the braces. You could also tell your sister you will call CPS unless she starts putting her son in braces. Since image is important to your sister, maybe her fear of looking like a bad mom with a CPS record will be worse than the embarrassment of a child in braces. ######


Prompt:
So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation.

My family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making.

On one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel.

Next month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ######

Response: NTA. OP, for your own health and happiness, please avoid people who treat you like this. It's nice of you to show concern for their views, but ultimately, they have shown that they do not really care about you. It's probably a good idea to just move away. ######


Prompt:
Today during a Zoom meeting, my colleagues and I were discussing the Pandemic and the topic of Self-Check Outs at Grocery Stores was discussed. I then recalled an incident I had a couple of months ago right before Christmas. Although they were laughing at my story, some of them were saying I was an asshole and disrespecting essential workers. A colleague’s exact words: “Girl, Why you being a bitch?”

I was throwing a party at my home and needed more decorations and etc. So I had a late night visit to the nearby 24/7 Walmart. I went a little crazy and bought literally a cart full of useless crap. As I was waiting in line it became apparent that it was going to take a while as the couple in front of me were using WIC checks and the Cashier was giving attitude and denying what items they could use it for. I was okay with waiting, so I didn’t care. The 2nd cashier closed her register and loudly announced she was going on break. Before long another worker approached me, and this was basically the conversion.

Worker: Please come this way, our self-check out stations are open.

(I hate Self-Check Out and have always refuse to do them)

Me: I’m good. I’ll wait for the cashier. Thanks though.

Worker: But we’re open over here. You can check out yourself.

Me: I don’t mind waiting.

Cashier: (Yelling over the couple) You don’t have to wait. You can check yourself out over there.

Me: I don’t mind waiting. I have a lot of stuff. I rather empty my cart on the belt.

Cashier: Sir, Please move your cart to the self-check out.

(At this point I’m annoyed. The worker was now physical gesturing for me to move and the cashier was no longer checking out the couple.)

Me: I’m sorry. Do I work here? Are you guys offering me a job? (While tipping head to the side)

Basically, security was called and a manger got involved which caused a large line to form and people behind me complaining very loudly.

So Was I? ######

Response: NTA. One polite "no thanks" should have been enough. Worker could have moved on to the next person after you said no. ######


Prompt:
I got divorced when my kids were 4 and 5.  Their mother found a new man one year after the split, who she subsequently married and the children have lived with them full time since.

As a single person I’ve struggled financially paying 100% child support as well as my own bills. On the other hand they have had annual foreign ski holidays as they’ve had a double income as well as the child support payments. My ex and I really don’t get along.

I’ve accepted the financial situation always with no issue, pay the child support, live a low cost lifestyle. The kids and I have a great relationship and see eachother weekly. Two years ago I met my current partner, we now live together and our income is about the same as my ex and her husband, although I’m a long way behind financially.

My older child finishes school and turns 18 in November. I no longer have to legally pay child support. She will however go on to college and is likely to stay living with my ex.  She earns enough through her part time job for her own spending money, fuel etc.

I don’t want to pay my ex any more. I know that she’ll say I should as our child still lives with her and I can afford it, but I’d really rather put it towards my mortgage as I’m over 50.

I’d be happy to contribute $ if she moved out, but this is unlikely.  I’d also be happy to have my child move in with me, but this is unlikely.

AITA for not wanting to give my ex any more child support money?

TLDR : I don’t want to pay my ex child support after our child turns 18, even though our child lives with her. ######

Response: NTA. Once your child is 18, you could always arrange to give her some money directly? It could be a regular thing, or an "Here I have some spare bucks this week" or "here, I can pay for that thing for you". Whatever agreement you come to, with your child. Leave your ex out of the equation after 18. ######


Prompt:
Little back story... my wife is a bartender and is working cut hours right now. She’s works with this guy we’ll call Jim.

One day hanging out at home she thinks who she believe is Jim. Goes to work the next day, finds out it was indeed him and he lives in our complex. So she gives him a ride home because he doesn’t have a car, they stop at specs on the way  home. Upon coming home I look out the window to see her walking with jim to his building across the street. She says she’s going to meet his gf. Turns out she is asleep and the guy just wanted to drink and chill. Which I was NOT cool with. Fast forward and this happens a couple more times. I’ve let her know I’m not okay with this, I don’t know him and I’m sick of this guy asking you to hang out.

Now it’s last night, she’s about to get off and I see her on find my friends driving around a random parking g lot after work, then specs, and Then she text me and says she’s off taking him back to his hotel... he doesn’t live in our complex anymore? He’s at a hotel now? So now I’m pissed. She gets there and I see that she stops the car and goes inside. For 10 minutes or so. Let the fighting begin.

AITA for getting my at my wife continually giving a guy a ride home and then going into his hotel after I told her I didn’t like it? ######

Response: NTA. Once you told her you didn't like it it should've either stopped or she should've discussed with you, not disregard your feelings. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway for obvious reasons, mandatory apology for the bad formatting.

I (19f) have a friend, lets call him Thomas, basically hes been on a paypig website, ( men will pay money to have women insult them or humiliate them) on this website its mainly anonymous, a fake screen name and a few photos, and there aren't many gay guys he can profit from, that being said hes asked to use my pictures to essentially catfish these guys. At first i didn't have an issue with this, he said we'd split the profit 50/50. He would ask me to send pictures with my finger on my nose, things like that because the guy wanted to know if it was really me etc. No big deal.

Hes made about 2000 dollars since this has started, and we've split it evenly. I asked him to stop using my photos because the requests for photos he'd been asking me for were getting extreme and making me uncomfortable.( pictures of me trying to lick my toes things like that) He agreed and understood.

Im just finding out that hes been getting photos off my snapchat stories, and my instagram to use and send to these guys while still making money. I asked him about it and he said hed send me 100 dllars out of the 1000 he made. I asked for the 500, because A) Its me in the photos and B) because i asked him to stop. He sent me the money and has been really passive aggressive.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Once you decided you didn’t wAnt to do this anymore, they should have been it. For him to keep using your photos is a major betrayal of your trust. Sounds like it’s tine to block him on all of your social media accounts. ######


Prompt:
This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly.  She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it.

The thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”.  Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it.

Another thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Once the money is in an account that is under her name you have no control over it and she can spin whatever narrative she likes to anyone who questions it. Or she can simply hold it over your head to control you. ######


Prompt:
I'm 33 weeks pregnant, still working full time in an active job (classed as a key worker) and have been told recently that the baby isn't growing as well as it should be and we may have to deliver early.

My partner has recently started working part time (after being furloughed from part time) and has always had this annoying habit of putting his phone on flight mode whenever he sleeps or takes a nap.

I've brought up to him several times that he should just turn off all  notifications (if he wants to sleep undisturbed), as he will be unreachable, if there was an emergency and he could very well miss the birth of his first (and probably only) child.

The last time I said this to him was yesterday and still his phone was on flight mode when I messaged him after work today.

I think it's a dick move for him to have put his phone on flight mode, given the circumstances and sent him a message, basically telling him that if he puts his phone on flight mode again, then I won't inform him if I go into early labour or the date when the c-section gets booked for, as he obviously doesn't care if he misses the birth of his child.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. On every phone I know of you can set up "do not disturb" to let particular numbers go through. It's absurd for him to make himself totally unreachable given that you could need an emergency delivery at any point.

Also congratulations, I hope all goes well for you and the baby. ######


Prompt: So I (24m) and my (24f) wife where sleeping in our bed. Now our bed faces a vent. So i woke up and i saw that something was in there. And i have never noticed,but my mom had put a CAMERA in that vent my mother is a narcassist i went NC with her when i hit 18. And when i saw that camera i thought " holy shit theres a pervert who likes to watch my and my wife sleep". then i found all of the cameras and bugs my mother put. oh and how she got in was she contacted my dad who i still talk to and lied to him and told him to give her a key to my house to " go feed and take care of my dog" because " I was away" but i was just at work. anyways i took the cameras and bugs to the police station they found out it was my mom and i pressed charges. so i want to know. am i the ass for doing so ######

Response: Nta. Omg camera in the room facing the bed? As in recording you guys being intimate? I hope that's as illegal as it sounds. That's so wrong and disgusting. Damn right you should sue her or have her prosecuted! It makes my skin crawl to even imagine, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Good luck. ######


Prompt:
We are all teens if that changes anything. A few times a week me (male), one other guy, and 3 girls go jogging together. We are all neighbors. Me and the guy don't wear shirts and the girls don't either they just wear their bras.

My girlfriend was reluctant to join but she decided to come once. Afterwards she told me she didn't want me jogging shirtless with other shirtless girls. She said it makes her feel bad because the girls are attractive, have bigger boobs, are wearing short shorts, are showing cleavage, and they might like seeing me shirtless. I reassured her I only want her but she insisted I stop. I refused.

She says she won't break up with me over it but that I'm being an ass by continuing. ######

Response: NTA. Omg - what’s going to happen when you go to a beach of swimming pool? ######


Prompt:
So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.

I’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister.

So my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess.

As a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad.

I’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything.

The thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit.    AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Older kids aren't free babysitters. Older kids aren't fill-in-parents. Older kids deserve their childhood and teenage and adulthood. If parents decide to have more than one kid and can't handle it, it's on the parent. What you wrote was what you were feeling in your diary. What she did was an invasion of  privacy and I don't think you're wrong at all. ######


Prompt:
Me (28M) and my girlfriend (32F) have been together for 9 months and we currently live together in rented accommodation. We split everything evenly between us but pay for our own personal things, make up, computer games etc.

A few months ago upon leaving work I noticed a scratch down the side of my car across both doors and some of the rear. The quote I got for repairing of the damage was more than I could afford but I drive for work occasionally so wanted the car to look presentable. I asked my girlfriend to help me out so I could comfortably make rent payment and she refused saying this is a personal cost and not her problem.

We didn’t argue and I wasn’t too taken back as she is right and it’s not like I couldn’t use the car with the minor damage.

Fast forward to last week and my girlfriend upon returning from work scrapped the side of my car whilst parking outside of the house. The damage is much more significant to my vehicle than hers.

Upon discussing the matter she said that she will pay for her damages and I must pay for mine.

I said to her that this was unfair and she said ‘life’s unfair’ and the conversation ended there. I tried to discuss it with her one more time and she didn’t give me the time of day.

I got a quotation for the repair which exceeds what I think is reasonable for me to pay so I contacted my insurance and made a claim, having all of her details at hand. Today she stormed into the room screaming at me saying how selfish I was and that I should start handling my own responsibilities like an adult.

Am I the asshole here? I’ve tried my best to speak with her but it looks like it’s going to be a very lonely pandemic for me.

Thanks in advance for all the feedback. ######

Response: NTA. Oh, the irony. She fucks up your car and wants you to handle your own responsibilities? Pretty sure when you fuck up someone else’s property, it’s your adult responsibility to fix it. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.

The entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit.

He’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home)

I was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes.

I know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Oh my god, run. Run far away from him.

Your premature baby has come home from the NICU, is on oxygen, and your boyfriend is still chainsmoking?? I’m not even going to touch the fact that he feels entitled to your money despite literally everything else you’ve written in this post. ######


Prompt:
So as far as I’m concerned this is 100% gross... but another person told me that it’s nothing and I would be rude to bring it up to my roommate.

My roommate - every month - leaves her pads wide open, laying face up on top of the trash. I’m talking fully used, bloody pads. Face up. I wouldn’t care if someone just did this in their own private bathroom, but this is a bathroom that our guests use when we have them over, and it’s clear that my roommate never tries to fold the pads up or tuck them in the side of the trash. It’s honestly startling to walk in to the bathroom and see that everyday for a week, lol. And it’s just plain embarrassing when I notice it after our guests have already used the bathroom. Plus it smells sometimes.

(Btw the trash has no lid and you’re pretty much looking right at it when you walk in, it’s not under a sink or anything.)

I have 3 other roommates and some of them feel similarly, but a couple other people I asked said to ignore it and not get so worked up about it. I’m really tempted to bring this up to her, but I’m a guy. Is it inappropriate for me to say something to her about it? It really needs to stop. I grew up in a house full of girls and this never happened, the pads were always wrapped up in the trash. But I also don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up to her, or how I would even bring it up. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Oh fuck no. That’s shit is disgusting. She’s gotta learn some damn manners ######


Prompt: Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ######

Response:
 NTA. Of course you are not the asshole. That is a huge emotional, physical and financial burden and it is completely understandable that you dread that amount of responsibility. Just because you love someone, that doesn't mean you can't want your own life and identity. I don't think that is selfish, or if it is, it is completely acceptable. Is it possible that your parents will leave you the means to pay for someone to take care of her? Then you can visit whenever you want, but still know that she is being looked after by professionals. People who are in the right mental space for such a responsibility.

Please forgive yourself for wanting out. You have already sacrificed so much. ######


Prompt:
One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?

Edit 1:
For those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.

Edit 2: Typo ######

Response: NTA. Of all the ways to "rebel" and to express yourself, this has to be the least harmful. Makeup and polish can be removed, after all. Hair regrows. I don't understand parents who oppose this. ######


Prompt:
My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.

Initially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece.

She eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.

SIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.

AITA or is she just being unreasonable? ######

Response: NTA. Obviously NTA. She's 100% the asshole. If she won't pay or give credit, she is not only disrespecting you and artists as a whole, she's delusional. If she can get it free, she should go do just that. ######


Prompt:
In my group of friends a girl has had a crush on me for quite a long time, it was cute at first but it steadily got more and more annoying as she didn't seem to understand that I was not interested at all.  Myself and the group of friends were talking the other day whilst drinking and the conversation somehow got round to fanfiction, it's never been my thing so I wasn't really talking. Said girl however was very animated about it as it seems she writes her own and even draws pictures for it.

She must have been rather drunk as she ended up sending me a link to it out of the blue then deleted the message the next morning. I hadn't read it so still had the notification so decided to check it out. I didn't read much but what I did see was very very creepy. The main character is either me or heavily based off me and the drawings she does for each chapter are very clearly me in a gay relationship.

I was creeped out so dropped her a message and asked her if the character was me, she replied "Yeh...do you like it?", I replied that I didn't and found it very creepy. I asked her to stop involving me in her story and drawings, I got no reply to this.

I thought it was the end of this a few weeks later the subject was brought up again and I decided to check her profile out again. Lo and behold she's not stopped and has just continued. I was annoyed by this so just said in the video chat "Hey, I asked you to stop write creepy fan fiction about me, why haven't you?" and linked her story in the chat. She promptly left the video chat and then all the group chats.

One of her friends told me to apologise because she's highly embarrassed and doesn't want to come back to the chat. ######

Response:
 NTA. number one rule of fanfic, don't show it to the creators/actors. you were made aware, it IS creepy, and she hasn't stopped even though you asked. you can go to the website and make a complaint and maybe the mods will take it down.

look at the author of *After*. it was a Five Direction fanfic and the band has blocked her on all social media and want nothing to do with her. ######


Prompt:
Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.

My neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.

Out of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.

I haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Now that they want something they contact you? As you said, your masks aren't really for protection so much anyway. They don't need them, and you dont owe them anything. ######


Prompt:
I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning.

I posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate.

Am I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######

Response: NTA. Nothing wrong with your kids wanting to support you. If they don’t have a mom to support today, it’s much healthier to support you than sit around bereft all day. ######


Prompt: So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ######

Response: NTA. Nothing dangerous or illegal is going on. You are a 17 year old you should be able to go out with friends and have a girlfriend. This is especially when she gave you the ok but then said no when you said your girlfriend was going. I don't know what kind of cultural vendetta she has against your girlfriend, maybe she thinks you will get inappropriate or something? ######


Prompt:
I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there.

She mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too.

Then she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth.

She looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards.

AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA. Not wanting to date a single parent is totally normal, and a reason why dating apps have filters.    Also, I think your friends friend would understand. I work with a single mom (she’s maybe 32) of three boys all under the age of ten. When we first met, she flat out told me she is single and recognizes having more than one kid is a deal breaker for some men. And she’s fine with it, because she can’t control what they find attractive.

You’re not a dick, and it is unfortunate your friend got offended. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.

&#x200B;

I have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like "I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game." when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.

&#x200B;

I've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######

Response: NTA. Not unreasonable. Sounds like he is, and needs to grow up ######


Prompt:
My SIL is an aspiring author, and has been working on a full book series for a few years now. She plans to self-publish, and has been having a hard time deciding on what her book covers will look like, since she doesn’t want blank covers. I’m an artist by hobby, and would like to make it my main means of income eventually. I’m not a known artist by any means honestly, and my SIL knows that I’m working on getting my art out there. So she approached me about making the art for her book covers, and started playing up how it’s going to get my art attention.

Initially, I was interested, but when I mentioned payment for my work, she wouldn’t talk about it and started saying that we can “work something out later.” She won’t even name what she would be willing to pay, and I told her unless she’s paying me, she’s not getting my art. She’s also started watching me as I draw, and makes a noticeably disgusted face when I put my artist signature on the piece.

She eventually brought up the topic of me supplying her cover art again, and specifically asked that I not put my signature on the pieces. I reminded her that I hadn’t even agreed to do her covers, and asked why she didn’t want my watermark on the pieces. She said it was ugly and took the focus off her book title and her own name. So I asked that if I did the works, “would I be paid and credited for the cover work?” She got upset and said I’m being greedy and should just help her because we’re family, and that she gets free art from her friends all the time. I told her to get her free art from her friends then, I will not be working for free.

SIL stormed off to her room after that, and her friends on Facebook have been calling me an ass for not being willing to help a beginner author make a good-looking book. It’s starting to make me second guess my decision to not supply the art for her books.

AITA or is she just being unreasonable? ######

Response: NTA. Not only is she refusing to pay for your time and effort, she doesn’t want you to take credit for your work via your signature? That’s not “being family” as she so claims, that’s being a selfish brat. ######


Prompt:
Me and my boyfriend, both 21, have been together for about a year. I was visiting him when we went into lockdown so I’ve been staying with him and his family. For the most part I really get on with them, his parents have made some disapproving comments about me but I’ve enjoyed it here for the most part.

This coming Sunday the local church will be hosting its usual mass, and with my boyfriends parents being extremely religious, are obviously going. I’ve never ever been to church, and was brought up told to choose my religion (or none at all) when I was old enough. My boyfriend isn’t that religious either, but goes to keep his mum happy. I told him I didn’t want to go because in all honesty I think it’d just make me uncomfortable, and he told me it was just an hour of my life and to just go and “sit pretty”, which kind of pissed me off. I’ve been through a lot in my life and, although I greatly respect religions and religious people, I don’t believe in it at all.

He told his mum and it’s started some kind of war in this house, with my boyfriends younger brother saying he’s not going if I’m not. I was never rude about any of it at all. His mum is saying I’m not of the same “social status” as his family and he therefore shouldn’t be with me. My boyfriend is pissed at me saying I should’ve just went along with it to keep the peace. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Not only do you have the right to exercise freedom of religion (or from religion), churches are not the safest places to be during the pandemic for a variety of reasons. On top of that, your boyfriend’s mother is being condescending and self-righteous, and your boyfriend is getting way too upset over your decision. You two are gonna need to have a serious discussion about this matter, lest it rear its ugly head further down the line. ######


Prompt:
I have several children and I always try to let them express themselves anyway they want.  My boys all have really long hair.(to their butts long)I love it, they love it. But their grandmother hates it.  She says “They look like girls” or “You are going to turn them gay”

Anyway yesterday my middle son (7) went to his grandmothers house (she lives a few houses away so he rode his bike there) to pick up his game system. My MIL asked if he could stay and help her plant some veggies.  I said sure

About 2 hours later I heard my son crying and I saw him riding his bike home.  I was initially upset because I like to watch him going to and coming from his grandparents house. But then I noticed his hair.

She didn’t cut it all off just to his shoulders. He said while he was planting grandma came behind him with the gardening scissors and cut off his pony tail

When I confronted her she told me it was just hair.  I told her she is not allowed to talk to my children again (maybe an overreaction). But I just continued to yell and swear at her.  My anger boiled over and I called her things like “worthless” “disgusting” etc.  It went on until my husband pulled me away

My husband said his mother is hurt. And that i overreacted to a haircut. Today my son seems fine. We evened out his hair and he’s rocking a Mohawk that he loves

But was I TAH for yelling ######

Response:
 NTA. Not only did she disrespect you, the parent, by crossing a huge line in cutting your kid's hair, but she also crossed a huge line with your kid. She violated your child's bodily autonomy by coming up behind him and cutting his hair without asking him. That's not okay. Sure, maybe you said some harsh things in the moment, but IMO that's pretty justified. And she definitely shouldn't see your kids alone at least until she sincerely apologizes and both you and your kids feel comfortable with it.

Also, does she say the things about "turning them gay" in front of the kids? Because...that's a big yikes. One of them may be gay, and they'll definitely know peers who are as they grow up, and knowing a relative is bigoted like that sticks with you even if they change their tune down the road. ######


Prompt:
A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over.  I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents.  They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing.  But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores).  Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it.  As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine.  I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.

My sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it.  I get called a "stoner" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.

At dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like "I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh?  You drug addicted loser".  I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs.  (this is where I might be TA) I said "Oh yeah?  At least I didn't do this"  and then did the hand motions for snorting coke.  Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it.  She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.

Apparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her.  She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Not one bit. If she cannot take it, she shouldn't serve it. She's in problems because of what she did. Cocaine is a lot more serious than weed, and you didn't even did weed! Your brother was the one snitching on her, so no ot even that is on you. He made a judgement call. She is pissed and looking for anyone else to carry the guilt, but her. ######


Prompt:
Ok, this all started last week. My little sister is great and I love her but she is impulsive. She got a kitten a few months and all was great! She’s an awesome pet owner and it’s doing good! Well, she saw someone had these adorable balls of fluff for sale last week and thought, “fuckin gimme!” And got another one without another thought! She then texts me later that day, “The kitten and my cat don’t get along, can you take the kitten?” Well, my cat was put in the kitten room at the HS because he’s so laid back plus he could lose a few pounds. Sure, why not? So, I pick him up the next day and my big kitty and the kitten get along just fine! I post on FB “Macklemore (big one) and Kenny Rogers Jackass (kitten) (Kenny for short)” keep in mind that little sis has this kitten for a whole-ass day and hadn’t named him yet! She texted me saying I either need to give him back or change his name because it’s an awful name and I shouldn’t be allowed to name pets. I told her to pound sand and the kitten has a vet appointment this week and the paperwork is already official.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta. Not her cat anymore. ######


Prompt:
I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends.

A lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy.

I’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Not even remotely the A. Your husband is an entitled prick if he expects you to perform on demand just because you happen to be in the same location, especially if he's asking for this while you're actively doing work.

It not being uncommon for you to end up "providing sex for him" is a bigger concern, honestly: I never understand why or how guys can even enjoy it if their partner isn't. Is this something you've talked to him about? ######


Prompt:
I am 14 and I have a 16 year old sister. My dad divorced my mom because he did not love her and I could tell there relationship was very stale. Anyway my dad found some one else and started dating when I was 10. I loved my dad and have a great relationship with him. Me and my family live in California so you can see that living expenses are really expensive.

Anyway me and my dad moved into his new wife's house and I have been staying there and like my new step mom a lot. My mom and sister are very jealous as my sister disowned my dad for being leaving his wife. Right now I am staying at my moms apartment. My dad recently bought me my first phone which is an iphone xr which is an amazing device.

My sister is stuck with a 300 dollar phone so she is jealous. Anyway I was using the restroom and then I heard a loud noise like glass shattering. I went and discovered that my sister has destroyed my phone and ruined the screen and the back as the phone has glass on the back. My sister took it out of the case. My sister then yelled fuck that bitch referring to my dad.

I was stunned I called my mom and told her what happened my mom could care less and told me to go ask dad to fix it cause he is rich. I told her that she should ground my sister. My mom refused telling me it's not sisters fault she does not get good things and that sister has every right to destroy property coming from dad. She said be glad you even got a phone to begin with and told me that I have no right to ask for my sister to be grounded. I might be the ass for asking for something that I should not be able to ask for as I am a kid not an adult. So I might not make proper decisions.  ######

Response: NTA. Not at all. I cannot believe your mother would say it would be okay to destroy any kind of property, what kind of parent does that? I'm sure she must be hurt because your dad has a new wife and all that, but it is NOT okay to destroy someone else's property like your sister did, and especially not when it cost a lot of money. You're definitely not the ass, I would ask for a punishment if my (older) sibling were to destroy something expensive I got. ######