Prompt:
My best friend is getting married at the end of summer and he wants to do a haka to celebrate as a part of the ceremony. I am not Polynesian, Maori, Samoan, Tongan, Australian, Kiwi, etc, etc and my friend isn’t either. We said that if we did DNA tests and if either of us turned up anything from that area, we’d do it, but we both came up without anything there. AITA for this or am I being sensitive or too PC?

Edit: Neither bride or groom have heritage from there. ######

Response:
 NTA. Thats very strange. Why does that person want to do that?? They shouldn’t force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.

Edit: is your friend or his wife a Maori dancer? because that’s the only real reason from what you’ve told us that they want to do this. ######


Prompt:
So this actually happened when I was 16 (I’m 20M currently), but it still makes me mad and I just want to know if I was the asshole.

I’m the oldest of 10 kids (I only lived with 8 of them the 9th was born after) and I have always looked after my siblings. The oldest 4 are 13+ and the youngest 6 are 8 and below. My family is a blended family consisting of me, two full siblings, 3 half sisters, 1 step brother, two adopted sisters, and a “step” sister.

So my stepmom routinely liked to perform whole house checks if someone pissed her off. Kind of like how you see in those prison shows when they rip the prisoners bunks apart except she did that with the whole house. Now my stepmom and I used to get along until these became a regular thing. She would constantly invade our space and then make us clean up the mess.

As a teenager I kept multiple journals diaries and notebooks. Like I could fill a medium sized duffel bag with how many I had. And instead of voicing how I felt when I was upset I would right it down. I will admit, there were nasty things in there. But kids think of nasty things in the moment when they’re mad.

I’m not sure what had originally set her off but my stepmother was livid. We were all supposed to head downstairs so she could search the upstairs. I hid my diary knowing that she would ground me until I graduated if she saw it. Of course she found it, read it, and was even more angry. So angry that she sat me down and just exploded on me. Calling me all sorts of names saying how I’m ungrateful for everything.

The thing is though, what I wrote about her was true. She didn’t parent more than one kid. Ever. I’ve been a parent since I was 11 and that didn’t stop when my dad married her. She was also super controlling the whole time I lived there. She still claims that she did nothing wrong and that’s just parenting, but I strongly disagree. We aren’t on good terms now and my dad tries to stay out of it. So reddit.    AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That’s your private diary that she has no right to go through. She also sounds nasty to be reacting like that, especially to kids who aren’t even her own and has never looked after properly. ######


Prompt: AITA if I ask my neighbors to keep their kids from bouncing the basketball so early in the morning. They start about 6:30-7 am. I work nights as a nurse so this is the time I’m getting in bed. I’ve tried everything even earplugs,not the harming 3m ones lol, but I swear I can still hear it. Idk. Their screaming at top of lungs is another post. 😂. ######

Response: NTA. That’s too damn early. ######


Prompt:
Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.

Basically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair.

I mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)

And because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up

It’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult.

The amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing.

So I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye.

If they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.

My mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit.

Luckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######

Response: NTA. That’s petty for sure but that’s the point right? It’s similar to people groping the stomachs of pregnant women without their permission. Don’t touch people unless you want to be touched back. ######


Prompt:
This is a throwaway account. Also this story happened a while ago.

My friend and I went to see a movie. Before that, we got some churros for $10, she said she'd pay for it and I can pay later when we buy something after the movie. I said ok. We shared the churros. After the movie, she wanted to get hot chocolate but I didn't want any so she can get a cup and I'll pay for it. And because just the hot chocolate by itself, it didn't add up to $10 so she added in a cookie to rake up $10, I said it was ok. I paid for the hot chocolate and the cookie.

It was pretty late at night so I'm assuming the worker must've been pretty tired because although he charged us $10, he accidentally made us two cups of hot chocolate. He gave it to us for free because it's already made and we were the only two there.

The next morning, she texted asking me to transfer the money I owe her back. I was confused because I didn't owe her anything, I paid $10. She said it was because it wasn't $10 that I paid since I also got something out of it, it made the value of her drink decreased. Even as I typed this out, I still don't understand her reasoning. I said that I paid $10 fair and square, the hot chocolate I got was just an added bonus for us. We debated back and forth about this and she said she told her mom about the story, and her mom also thinks that I should pay back. We dropped it after a while but I'm still confused. Since her mom also agreed, I don't know if she dropped it because I was being an asshole and she didn't wanna keep arguing or if it was because I was right.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That’s not how that works at all. You bought her $10 worth of stuff as she did for you. You getting a free one has no impact on that. ######


Prompt: So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That’s like the childish shit my mother does. I suggested we clean the fridge since we’re home all day. She keeps putting it off all day then later at night I’m chilling in my room and hear her making noise in the kitchen (small apartment). I ask her from my room what she is doing, and she say nothing just cleaning the fridge out. I said oh do you need some help, and she tells me no. In response I told oh ok. Not ten minutes later I hear her scoff “I wish I had some help around here”. I literally offered her help and she says no, I’m not a fucking mind reader. I am not going to waste my time and energy wondering if your lying to me/ have alternative feelings to a situation that you just aren’t telling me. ######


Prompt:
I have a gluten intolerance, which I was diagnosed with last year. I get quite sick if I eat a lot of gluten. As a result of this, I tend to buy gluten free snacks out of my own pocket, as I'm the only one in the house who has this. I tend to buy gluten free bread/pittas, crackers, cakes and pasta, enough to last me a couple of weeks usually.

The problem is, if I store it in the kitchen, even if it's on my own shelf, it gets eaten by my stepmum or brothers without them asking me. A week's supply will be gone in a day. I've tried explaining that this stuff is my supply for the week and they're gluten free, please could they not be eaten. I was ignored, and the bread I'd brought was gone when I went to make lunch during my working from home break.

I bought a little mini fridge, and kept the bread, cakes and pasta in that for my use. I'm being called selfish for doing this, as they should be for all of us. I've also been told that the smell could attract rats, which seems silly since they're in a fridge. My point is that these are specific foods for my allergies, paid for out of my own pocket, and I put in money for rent and food for the family too. I consider these my own food items as I purchased them myself.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That’s just childish behavior and honestly it’s really weird. Not to be rude but honestly a lot of gf versions of foods tend to not be as good(although that might not be true for your fam) so why would they purposefully go after your food in the first place. You should get one of those fridge lockers lol ######


Prompt:
My ex and his wife has a Life360 group including my kids (16 and 20) and her kids. Although I pay for one of my kids' phones, they are not allowed to take Life360 off the phone.

Essentially this means he can track what they're doing when they're with me (and me, by proxy). He's made comments to them in the past about where we've gone, if I've sped or if we didn't do anything at all.

He even has my family members set up as alerts (I think this means he'd get an alert if we visited them?)

WIBTA if I told the kids to turn the stupid app off while they're with me? However, doing that would likely cause them to get flack from their father (he won't confront or talk to me about it -- if I even call to ask him nicely, he'll give them crap) and make their time with him more stressful. Do I suck it up or take a stand and start to show them that these types of apps are invasive and not "safety" based. ######

Response:
 NTA. That’s invasive as hell of your ex in a way that goes beyond “rules at your dad’s house are different” sort of way. But you need to tell your ex what you’re doing first. You’re right that he’s going to give you and the kids crap but he’s definitely going to notice if they turn it off and it’s not fair that they’re the ones who will have to bear the brunt of it when he confronts them.

You mention paying for one phone but not the other. If your finances allow it, see if you can take over payment for that one. That way he’ll have less of a leg to stand on if he insists on keeping the app. ######


Prompt: I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ######

Response: NTA. that’s incredibly tacky and gross, not to mention disrespectful. ######


Prompt:
For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.

They kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.

I have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.

AITA ? ######

Response: NTA. That’s awful. I have a friend who won’t apologize for anything no matter how rude or insensitive he is. Those people will never take accountability. You don’t need that person in your life, they’re not your real friend. ######


Prompt:
I really like to crochet and knit, and it's best to have specific yarn scissors. Mine are really good and I love them, it's so satisfying to snip the yarn. Because they are made specifically for yarn, if you use them on other materials, like paper, cardboard, etc, it will damage and blunt them.

Me and my two brothers (who actively ensure they know nothing of fibercrafts) were sat watching a film together. I like to crochet while watching TV as it keeps my hands occupied, while my brother prefers to fiddle with whatever's around. My bag crochet equipment was on the sofa next to us, and he took my scissors out to fiddle with. I told him not to because they are very sharp and he could hurt someone or damage them. He gave them back and I put them in the bag.

Later on, I needed the loo so left the room. When I came back, he had taken the scissors out of the bag, and was cutting up a piece of cardboard (a tetley's tea box, if anyone's interested). I was really annoyed and told him to stop and give me my scissors. Even after me explaining that yarn scissors are not for cardboard or paper, he is adamant that he didn't do anything wrong. I think he's in the wrong because they're my scissors, I specifically asked him not to use them, the cardboard did not need cutting up, and him doing so damaged my property! Both my brothers think I'm overreacting and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is now winding me up by saying that he will use my scissors to cut some cardboard again. I just want him to apologise and not do it again! ######

Response: NTA. That’s a good way to destroy fabric scissors ######


Prompt:
Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old.
Our relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.

Anyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me "hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol "  and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions.

I asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that "we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?"

I do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing,  she just said "yeah, and?"
I find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and " just for fun."

She thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous.
Meanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards.

Additional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is.
Also non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ######

Response: NTA. That’s a big red flag to me. She could just say it’s  for fun and all but  instead of reassuring you she’s just blowing you off and making it seem like you’re the bad guy. If it bothers you and you’ve tried to bring it up and she still continues then does she really care? I say let them rekindle what they had just get yourself a loyal one. ######


Prompt:
My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me.

On the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said "oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip" and so I asked, "then how did you sleep?"

He looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for "body heat" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ######

Response: NTA. That’s 100% not normal for camping. In fact it’s incredibly uncomfortable sleeping in one alone, just imagine two people. I honestly wouldn’t buy his story. And the fact he hid it is even more shady. I’m sorry but it sounds like he may have cheated and just got caught. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

My insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.

I told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.

AITA for getting upset? ######

Response:
 NTA. That's your money. Simple as that. BUT.

>I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it

You're an adult. Time to act like an adult. Take care of your money. ######


Prompt:
My friend (we'll call her Mindy) planned a bachelorette party trip that cost each of us $1200. The trip has now been canceled because of COVID, but there's a problem. My friend had this other friend (we'll call her Jane) of hers purchase the trip as a group trip on her credit card. So, Jane is getting a full refund on her credit card for everyone's money. Jane, however, is now hard up for money and is saying that she won't give anyone their money back with a myriad of excuses, including she can't get cash back as it's a credit card refund. I asked that she just buy me a travel gift card then for my balance and that still seems to be a no.

Here's the thing... Mindy seems angry that we want our money back from Jane. She seems to think that we should all be ok with taking a loss, which I could understand if Jane wasn't getting a full refund...but she is. None of us, except Mindy, are actually friends with Jane. AITA for thinking that Mindy should stand up for her friends and make Jane do the right thing? There are 8 people who paid Jane for this trip, meaning she's going to make a pretty hefty profit off this :( ######

Response: NTA. That's worth going to court over ######


Prompt:
I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits.

My sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason.

I finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.

I could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ######

Response: NTA. That's what she needed to hear, even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend asked me if she could access my Facebook to untag me from old photos. I said no then asked why. She showed an example it was a photo from about 10 years ago with me in a club with a girl hugging me and leaning on my shoulder. It was an ex but she didn't know that. I don't take many photos so I value people tagging me in theirs. ######

Response: NTA. That's super possessive and potentially a red flag. ######


Prompt:
I’m in a group chat with 8 other people. We all go to the same grad school. John said: “Hi everyone. I received a diagnosis.” He never even announced he was sick or seeing a doctor, at least to me, so I was afraid that he had cancer or something similarly serious.  Another friend responded: “Oh no, is everything okay?”  After a two-hour long pause, John said, “I will be okay...now. I have been diagnosed with ADHD.”

As a person with ADHD, this struck me as obviously being much less serious than a terminal diagnosis, and not worth the drama. I said, “Man, I thought you were dying or something, that was really dramatic!” He didn’t respond to me and the conversation moved on. A mutual friend of me and John messaged me and told me that John was very offended by what I said. John thinks that I was minimizing his very serious diagnosis, a diagnosis he sees as a revelation and the reason he’s always struggled to succeed in work/school.  Since this was told to me in a covert way, I didn’t see a space to apologize or explain myself.  I don’t even know what I would say...That I still think that saying “I received a diagnosis” in a group chat and announcing an ADHD diagnosis is overdramatic?

Am I being an asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. That's someone creating drama. A 2 hour pause? Good lord. ######


Prompt:
My (F23) and my boyfriend (M24) have been dating for four years and we currently live together. We usually have a great relationship but recently we've been at each other's throats over this. I can't tell if this is a real problem or if it's just because we're cooped up.

The problem is that I eat a lot of foods my boyfriend considers gross. Some of these are foods everybody considers gross, and others are things just he does.

Things he thinks are gross: melted cheese, shredded cheese, hummus, chickpeas, fries in milkshakes, this Indian yogurt I eat, and peanut butter with nothing else.

Things probably everyone thinks are gross: pickles in milkshakes, ketchup in rice, capers and their juice, and mangoes and cheese. There are probably others I'm forgetting.

Anyways I like these foods and I get that others think it's gross, but I don't really think it's hurting anybody.

Recently though I've been eating them more, and as both my boyfriend and I are home all the time in a small studio, he's been seeing it a lot more. At first he just told me what I was doing was nasty and moved on, but now he's started getting angry at me when he sees me eating these things and others he thinks are gross.

Today we got into a fight over it. He wants me to stop eating all these foods he thinks are gross. I think he's being ridiculous. I always clean up after myself, and it's not like I'm rubbing it in his face that I'm eating these. He thinks it's inconsiderate for me to keep doing something that I know bothers him.

We're currently not talking over this. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That's some controlling behavior, OP. Maybe thank this quarantine for showing his true colors and lay out the ultimatum of "let me eat whatever the fuck I want or gtfo". ######


Prompt: I'm 18, living with my mom through the summer until I move away for college across the country. I offered to pay for dinner if my mom wanted to go out to eat now that my state has lifted most restrictions. I suggested we go out to eat at a local vietnamese place (because they have amazing pho and the owners are a super kind older couple and I know their business has been struggling lately). Immediately my mom bursts out with "Why should we go there when they made the virus?" and snickered. I told my mom to take me back home and that I wasnt going to go to dinner with her. She threw a huge fit and went on a rant about how i need to learn to take a joke and that I was being a brat. ######

Response: NTA. That's rude, inaccurate and uncalled for. ######


Prompt:
\*my wife has approved this description of events, so it is less biased\*

My wife and I spend a lot of time at her Aunt and Uncle (aged 80+) cabin in Colorado. We come up to help them take care of the house and yard, and we are both pretty handy so we help fix things that inevitably break around the place. We typically spend 3-4 days of the week here during the spring/summer months, and 1-2x/month during the fall/winter (we can both work remotely so no issues there).  The small cabin has 2 spare rooms, as well as a loft with no bathroom. There isn't a guest bath that's unattached to a bedroom.

This weekend her parents and sister are coming up to the cabin. They come up rarely, and her sister comes up maybe once year.  Her sister is single. She's been told she's selfish in past relationships, and from the outside looking in, I have to agree. We've stayed at her place when visiting her, and she told us to bring our own bedding, towels, food, etc. My wife also had to bring her own cleaning supplies to make the room decent.

We arrived at the cabin last night and slept in the bedroom we always stay in. This afternoon, we got a call from my MIL telling us to move our things up to the loft (which has 2 twin beds and is above/open to the living room) so my SIL can stay in the bedroom. I don't think this is fair given that we come up more often, do more work, are married, and were already here this weekend. There is also not a bathroom to use that doesn't involve us walking into in-laws bedrooms. When my wife told her mother that she didn't think this was completely fair, her mother yelled and told her to deal with it because the sister never comes up and doesn't feel welcome. To be fair, we have always prioritized going there because we know how much help the Aunt/Uncle need.

AITA for not wanting to cater to my SIL? ######

Response: NTA. That's ridiculous, and I would continue to push back on that request. Also, sister sounds like she sucks. ######


Prompt:
Okay, this is kind of of a weird one. I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. I want to preface all of this by saying that I love her and that this post makes her sound worse than she is. She is one of the most genuine, sweetest, and hardworking people I have ever met. But, this whole situation has been so off putting to me and I don’t know what to do about it.

My girlfriend can be a bit clingy in general which, frankly, I have always found a bit cute. But, when she goes to the bathroom she always wants me to join her. At first I thought it was cute she wanted to spend time with me so much but I didn’t realize it was something she was going to expect every time. It started as just sitting on the side of the tub while she peed. Which could be inconvenient depending on if I was in the middle of something but I didn’t mind too much. But, starting a few months ago she started going number two and also dealing with her period stuff in front of me too. I’ve tried to excuse myself because the sights and smells. But, it hurts her feeling when I do and it always ends up in a fight about something unrelated. So, I’ve been dealing with it to keep the peace. She doesn’t mind if I go on my phone or do something else in the bathroom. But, even so, I just don’t want to witness/smell/hear those moments and it’s starting to impact my attraction towards her. I’ve tried talking with her but it seems to be really important to her for whatever reason. WIBTA if I stopped doing this? ######

Response: NTA. that's not normal or cute, and is 100% reasonable boundary to have. ######


Prompt:
Some years ago I was driving to work when I was struck by another vehicle who... let’s say the other driver (Jackass) should not have been driving at that time. I’ll always remember him laughing his fat ass off as the ambulance pulled away.

Long hospital stay, multiple surgeries, fired from my job, lots of unkind gossip; and my kids/husband/parents and I suffered.

I managed to claw my way into a good job now but went through a lot of shit first.

Although Jackass has never apologized to me, his pastor  (my dad’s stepbrother’s wife’s nephew) reached out to me to express he’s “sorry” and “in a program”. He asked me not to proceed with the lawsuit as it’s not “Biblical”.

Their “church family” harassed and bullied me a ton over the years, to the point that law encirclement & my kids’ schools have had to get involved.

I just settled the lawsuit for max $$ though I have perm scars, PTSD, and physical limitations as a result of my injuries. There are people who refuse to be around me bc of being grossed out by my scars.

Pastor called me again, reiterated Jackass is sorry, and that for his “recovery” I am somehow obligated to forgive him in front of his very large congregation. I told Pastor to go fuck himself and have let everyone know that I’m afraid of Pastor and of Jackass.

Step-uncle (whom I’ve never liked) just called to ask me to reconsider - apparently MY calling the cops and filing the lawsuit has caused both Pastor and Jackass to have trouble at their jobs. Apparently Jackass wants to get his citizenship & Pastor wants to be a foster parent and claim my refusal to forgive blocks both.

Step-uncle’s family never ONCE reached out to see how my family and I were doing. But they organized a meal train and a free lawyer for Jackass.

I maintain that IDGAF, I never heard any compassion or remorse from Jackass or his church; why should I care about their ego now.

Who’s TA here? ######

Response: NTA. That's not how that works. They don't even actually want forgiveness. They just want you to put on a show to help them fix the damage they did to themselves. ######


Prompt: Quarantine woes. I (28F) work upstairs and my husband (35M) works from our kitchen counter. Every morning he refuses to put the kettle on or help make the coffee. He says, "I don't want coffee but if you make it I'll have some." When I make it he then wants a full cup! As of late I take the entire french press with me back to my work station and refuse to share with him since he can't be bothered to even turn the knob on the stove for the kettle. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That's annoying. If he wants coffee he can contribute to making it. ######


Prompt:
Hi! Second time posting here.

Okay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.

My sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not  INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following.

A few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated.

I've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)

I feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ######

Response: NTA. That's an invasion of privacy and depending on where you are, illegal. And she's doing it for her benefit, not yours. ######


Prompt:
We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.

 Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That's a great solution. It's in fact already proving your point: He said it was "adding more work". Well apparently only to him, because this is stuff you already do. ######


Prompt:
A little backstory:

I (15) was very close with my great grandmother, Gram Joe. We were both avid gardeners and artists, and she taught me everything I know about painting. Gram Joe had blood cancer, and was running a bit slow in her last few months. My brother (11), on the other hand, never went to visit her. He would only come with if Gma, grams daughter, was getting us lunch after. And even then, he would sit on his phone and ignore her.

She passed away last November, and I miss her like hell. My biggest regret is I never got to come out to her.

Her will specifically stated that I was to get all her supplies, which were incredibly expensive and well worth the money (30$ brushes, 150$ oil paint sets, canvasses, pencils, everything), which I was very grateful for.

Then comes my father. He took half of the stuff I was supposed to get and gave it to my brother, who already had his things she set aside. Expensive oil paints, brushes, colored pencils, all to the boy who doesn’t like drawing. I was, of course, incredibly upset.

My dad said it was only to be fair since brother didn’t get much, but that’s because she didn’t know what to give! He never payed attention to her, he never went to visit. She didn’t know what he would want. My brother ended up throwing away his stuff. Except for the brushes, which he didn’t take care of properly and are now mangled beyond belief. Thankfully my brother and I are close so he secretly gave me the stuff while throwing away the packaging, but the rage was still there. My brother is very obviously my dads favorite

Most of the rage was because he did that to Grams. I’m a religious person (paganism) and I know damm well Grams knew what he was doing. He violated her will for fucks sakes, that’s not ok!

TL:DR. Favorite grandmother left me all her art and gardening supplies in the will, father then gave half of everything to brother (favorite son) “to be fair”, violating the will. Grounded me for being angry about it ######

Response: NTA. that was your stuff that your grandma gave to you! dose your brother even like to paint? sorry for your loose. ######


Prompt:
This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.

After that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left.

Afterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######

Response: NTA. That was rude, and you are not required to suffer fools. More “considerate” to remove yourself than to start a fight. ######


Prompt:
I am 14 and my stepbrother is 12. Me and my stepbrother wanted some dinner and my stepmom and dad were both at work (doctors) and they told us they had made us dinner before they left.

They make us eat boring food that we don’t even like and half the time it doesn’t even fill us up. It’s either salad with low fat dressing (no cheese or bacon not even a little bit to make it tasty) and fish or it’s baked sweet potato and chicken. Like seriously we can’t eat anything else and because they meal prep it’s the same food every day. They are NOT very good cooks.

They used to basically get takeout every night (pretty nice healthy and delicious stuff) but they stopped that lately because of hygiene reasons.

They are super into health and fitness so I guess they make us eat healthy too. We have some ramen noodles but we are hardly ever allowed to eat them. My stepbro is a bit fat so she makes him eat even less than me.

Anyway me and my stepbrother were watching tv and we decided we were hungry AND bored cuz we’ve been at home for so long we watched some videos on YouTube for food ideas and we decided we wanted ramen.

I made the noodles and we enjoyed them, when our parents came home they saw we didn’t eat dinner so we told them I made noodles. My stepmom got real mad and said that I know I’m not supposed to let my stepbro eat bad food cuz it doesn’t fit into his macros. She was talking about sugar spikes and blah blah because it’s unhealthy.

I feel kinda bad because she’s stressed about his weight but I didn’t think 1 meal of noodles was gonna be the end of the world. ######

Response: NTA. That was really cool of you to take care of and feed your brother. There are so many delicious foods out there besides fish, salad, sweet potatoes. This is a good opportunity for you to learn about nutrition and cooking. Are you able to get involved and help with the meals a bit more and experiment in the kitchen? Ask your mom what the macros are and use Reddit to find suitable recipes. Then you can teach your little bro. I wish someone would have taught me how to cook or take care of myself. My mom raised us on canned pasta and McDonald's. I'm 30 and only now learning how fun cooking is and how delicious healthy food can be. Good luck! ######


Prompt:
I (19m) ordered a gift for my mom online a couple days ago. Knowing she loves this brand Rituals (a shower gel and beauty kind of thing), i got her a gift box with multiple items in it. Now the website i ordered this on had this gift box listed under "mother's day gift ideas". Without any second thoughts i ordered it thinking she would love it.

Now this gift box arrived the day before mother's day and when it got here i noticed that it looked quite masculine, it had shaving cream in it and the name of the scent was something with a samurai or something. I looked it up and it was actually for men. I felt stupid because it was too late to return it.

I decided to just give it to my mom and explain the situation, i told her she could smell the soaps (without actually taking any soap out of the container) to see if she liked the scents regardless and if not i could return it and she could pick another set. She then opened the soap container, at this point i couldn't return it, and then she posted a picture of it on Facebook making fun of me. She commented "the point of having three kids is that if one of them gets you a bad mother's day gift, the other two can still fix it". Obviously this made me feel upset because I didn't know when I ordered it and i was the only one of her kids to buy her a gift.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. That was mean. I'm sure you were embarrassed enough already, and publicly humiliating you was uncalled for.

You probably should have given a gift for your mother a "second thought," but it was nice of you to remember what brand she likes. ######


Prompt:
Throw away account. Okay so I’m at a crossroad atm. A friend and I moved in together last year, but now we’re going to separate apartments. We got along really well, and moved out due to the fact that she got a boyfriend and wanted to move in with him.

Anyways, when it came to the security deposit, I offered to help her clean it since we split the security deposit. My friend insisted that her and her mom clean it since her mom is a professional cleaner and would clean better than me. Once again, I offered to help but they said that they don’t mind doing it.

A few days later, I get a text from my friend, asking if I could give her an extra $200 from my portion of the deposit since her and her mom spent five hours cleaning the place. The conversation went like this

Her: Hey! So mom and I were talking and think it’d be fair if you gave us $200 for cleaning the apartment

Me: Wait, what? Uhh no. I offered to help clean it. Had I known you were gunna charge me, I wouldn’t have had your mom clean it...

Her: Wtf, it took us five hours. My mom has a $80 an hour rate to clean houses.... we spent five hours cleaning it. $200 from the deposit is a steal.

Me: Like I said, no. I’m sorry but if you brought up that you were gunna charge me, I would have cleaned the house myself.

Now my friend is mad at me because to her, I’m being unfair. I told her she was being unfair because she should have told me that they were gunna charge me in the beginning. Also, the deposit was $1,000 so I’d only get $500. If they took $200, then I’d only get $300.

Tl;dr- Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay my friend and her mom to professionally clean the apartment? ######

Response: NTA. That was an unpleasant bait and switch on her part and sounds like a way for her to get paid to clean her own apartment. ######


Prompt:
I know this sounds bad.  I feel bad about it but I don't think I should pay them more.

Here's why:

- I was never on the lease
- I didn't pay any bond
- I was sub renting
- I gave them 10 workdays notice,  then paid for another 2,5 weeks to make it a month.
- I communicated everything with them that they need to find another person
- I made all the ads and pictures of the pace
- I made a letter to the landlord stating due to xyz I cannot be in this country anymore and if the rent could be lowered.

I was in this place for 3 months.  All went fine but then hell broke loose. I had to get back home since my family needed me.
When my roommates (24 f & m) heard this, they pushed me to get on the lease.

Furthermore they were understanding, helping me by just talking and I made ads to find someone new.  I had several people coming by the place but they didn't get my room since they wanted someone long term (year+) and between 20-30.

I had to catch a plane and put most of my stuff into storage.

They couldn't find anyone after 2 weeks and they asked me to transfer rent.  I told them I need to pay for 2 places now so I'll only do 2 weeks for you guys to find someone new.  They were grateful.

2 weeks later they explode and expect me to keep on paying since they haven't found someone new. It would be my responsibility and they are calling me names now saying they might have to move now etc.

I feel horrible for them but to be fair why would I pay for a place I haven't lived in for 3 weeks and I don't have any responsibility for?

One side I'm like maybe I should help them out even more.  But I'm out of a job and stuff is bad in my hometown now too.
I need the money myself. ######

Response:
 NTA. That was a risk they assumed when they let you sublet and not sign a lease.

You even paid for 2 extra weeks and helped them find prospects. Their pickiness is what ultimately led them to being stuck in their current predicament. They should have found someone short term until they could find someone for the long term. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.

I'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it.

My mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ######

Response: NTA. That is your stuff. Other people don’t get to inherit it by default. Take it with you. ######


Prompt:
Hey There.

My parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.

Sorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ######

Response:
 NTA. That is your inheritance and it's up to you what you want to do with it.

Word of advice, get in touch with a lawyer to cover your bases. Never know when your own family can turn out to be petty enough to take you to court over inheritance. ######


Prompt:
So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.

The first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.

If this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days.

I live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t.

So, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######

Response: NTA. That is unsafe. ######


Prompt:
Aita for insisting on using my sister's internet for one hour for a big job interview? Backstory: she had already said yes and it was planned and everything, now she just texted me that her boyfriend is going to be home unexpectedly so I basically need to find somewhere else. Her boyfriend and I have never had an argument or anything, he is just really possessive of her. And before you ask, he was like this before the current situation too. If I was over visiting her (rare occasions) I would have to leave before he got home just because he doesn't like other people there. I don't have any other options for internet for my interview since the city library is closed. Aita for telling her boyfriend to suck it up for an hour so I can get a good job? Edit:I also want to note i live in a very small town. No Starbucks or McDonald's or any other source of internet besides the city library which is closed. I would go somewhere else if I could but that would mean going to the next city (about 40 minutes away). I have very very few options here.

Edit edit: wow I wasnt expecting to get this much response so quickly. So I'm going to add some things.

Yes I had bad vibes about their relationship before this but after reading all the input I definitely realize just how bad it is and will be working harder to try to help her with this any way I can. I've already sat down and we had a heart to heart convo. Thank y'all for opening my eyes to just how bad her situation is.

I do have data to occasionally get on internet, like on Reddit, but it isn't a good enough signal to handle an hour long video conference interview. Luckily everything ended up working out okay. ######

Response: NTA. That is scary, and I am worried for your sister. She can't have guests because he's possessive. Yikes! That is not a healthy relationship. ######


Prompt:
Okay so I am a behavioral therapist for autistic kids. And with COVID and everything going on, sessions have been moved around but haven’t stopped. I have this one kid who we will call John. John is 8 years old and very aggressive. My job with John is to help him understand simple things better like time, patience, social cues, etc. This kid had promise when I started, which was about a month before the pandemic. But as the pandemic continue, his behavior has gotten worse. Session is about 3 1/2 hours. The moment I knock on the door I can hear “I DONT WANT TO DO SESSION!” Now, why doesn’t he want to do session? Because he wants to play roblox and fortnite. That’s all he wants to do. Watch YouTube videos about those games and to play them. It takes about 30-45 minutes to get him to calm down because he doesn’t want therapy. He wants to play roblox and fortnite on his xbox. And when we take it away, he will call his mom a bitch.

Now his poor mother, I feel so bad for her. She just wants what’s best for her kid but all he does is abuse her. She tells me that it’s okay because he doesn’t understand but I can see it’s slowly killing her. She doesn’t sleep at all because every 30 minutes or so, the kid will wake her up in the middle of the night for whatever reasons.

Going through this with the kid every single session has started to get to me. I try my absolute best with all my kids, even my non verbals. I want to help them and make sure they are learning, but this kid. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m still doing therapy with him and I will still do what I normally do and try to help him but deep deep down I have given up on him. I feel guilty for feeling like this. So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. That is my personal opinion, you care for others and I can see how a determination to do better coming from an autistic kid is iffy ( I say this in a nice way I hope that isn’t misconstrued). You will win some and you lose some. I feel you have to find the people worth your time and help them as best you can. This may sound dumb but Scrubs a TV show kinda had an episode about this and I thought it was really good. Basically this guy was always in and out of the hospital with high blood pressure and the works and didn’t pay attention to what he was told to do so they kinda gave up on him and he died. It is sad that one has to be let go but you can’t help someone if they don’t want help. Best of luck to you. ######


Prompt:
I am one of three siblings. None of us are particularly well off. My parents (early 60s) are reasonably comfortable middle-class. All three siblings have kids. My parents have spent thousands on my two sisters to help them make ends meet for most of their adult lives. I have accepted help from my parents on occasion, but nowhere near the scale of either of my siblings. I've also been left dry when I really needed help, because of them needing it first. Ex, my college fund was spent housing my oldest sis, when I needed help replacing a vehicle that died on me, they couldn't help because they were providing in full for my younger sister. In truth, they've leeched off our parents as much as they could get away with.

Because of this, my folks have decided to leave me a larger share of their estate when they pass, and are firm that they would prefer I don't use mine to do for my sisters. She hasn't given an exact figure but it's going to be around half, with the other half split between my sisters and some of it set aside for their kids (my kids are included in my end). It depends I guess on the span between one parent and the other passing but it's potentially over 250k. I feel funny about it already, but mom's got me on paper as the executor and has started expressing to me what items she wants to go where. I told her I'd honor her wishes, but she needed to make a will because being executor and getting a larger share is going to cause so much tension between all of us. She didn't seem upset, but has since changed the subject abruptly whenever I bring it up. ######

Response: Nta. That is going to cause a lot of problems down the line if there is no will ######


Prompt: Right. So I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. My sister recently broke her leg and she’s continuously complained about how much crutches hurt. My dad’s solution to this was to tell my sister she can use my wheelchair. I’m not comfortable with this. My dads reasoning is that I just got out of the hospital and am mostly on bed rest (not completely, I’m just supposed to take things easy for a bit) so I ‘don’t really need it anyways’ but I kinda do need it whenever I have to get out of bed. My sister is perfectly capable of using crutches and honestly I think it’s kinda shitty that my dad is letting her use my chair even when I’m not using it. My dad keeps just saying that I’m not using my chair much anyways and so it doesn’t do any harm, but my sister keeps taking my chair and leaving it by her bed so I can’t get it, then screaming at me whenever I ask for it when I need to get up. My dad has also brought up the fact that he paid for the chair and rescued me (I’m adopted) so he gets to choose what to do with it. Honestly idk if I’m in the wrong for not sharing, but at the same time I think it’s kinda bs to be expected to share a piece of necessary medical equipment ######

Response: NTA. That is bordering on abuse that your father is using the fact that he adopted you as a way to justify taking away your wheelchair. You wouldn’t tie someone’s arm behind their back to punish them. You need to get your wheelchair back. That’s so outrageous it kinda makes me mad. ######


Prompt:
So around 4-5 days ago, my (16M) mum got in a nasty argument with my older brother (17M) and as a result, demanded that all of our phones (mine, my younger sister's, 17M and my other older brother's) be confiscated and have the PINs replaced.

(NOTE: She also wanted our fingerprints to be removed as well.)

Although I had nothing to do with their dispute and had no reason to be punished, I didn't say anything and just handed my phone over. My mum was THAT angry. I'd ask my mum to unlock my phone for me to use for a while and that's how things were for the past couple of days.

This morning, I remembered a trick I learnt a while ago to force-reset my phone (no PIN needed) and I decided to pull it off. I forced factory-data reset my phone using the volume up key, lock and home button and after logging back into my Google account and data, I had my phone back - without my mum's PIN on it. I put my phone back in the charger and went to make my own breakfast.

A while later, my mum realised that I had removed her PIN on my phone (I think she might have tried to access it behind my back, but I'm not sure) and she was LIVID. She berated me, saying that this phone is not my money to begin with and going as far as to resetting my phone proves her point of how much of a phone addict I am.

Again, I wanted to bring up the point that she changed our PINs only because of an argument with my brother. But I didn't say anyhing in the hopes of not getting my mum more angry and hoping that everything would blow over (which luckily for me, it did).

Now I'm typing this AITA in secret and I want to get some broad perspective on this. Did I really take things too far? ######

Response: NTA. That is an absolutely ludicrous state of affairs. It is a huge imposition to require her to use your phone and a breech of privacy to boot. Just having bought something for someone doesn't entitle you to whatever you want. There's a difference between letting someone use something you own, and giving them something. Seems clear that the phone is yours to do with as you please. Also, calling someone an addict is quite a serious accusation. To throw it around unwarranted does a disservice to everyone. ######


Prompt: So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, "Because I'm the parent and I say so." Because of this, I don't like telling them anything anymore. I always hide everything because I'm afraid they're gonna force their way into knowing. Recently, I told my dad about a girl I was talking because he didn't force his way into my secrets as much as my mom. When my mom caught word about something between us, she once again asked about it and got pissed off when I told her it was just between me and my dad. She said that my business is her business. This is one of the few times she doesn't force her way in because I already told my dad. I told her that I'm not going to tell her and my mom keeps getting pissed off that I'm not telling my safe guarded secrets. AITA for doing this? ######

Response: NTA. That is a very unhealthy way to raise a child. Everyone has the right to privacy. It's literally the same as if your parents watched you every time you took a shower, took a shit, or slept. Parents have control over what their child does and how they behave at home (to a certain point), but they have absolutely no control over what to say. If you are being punished for not telling secrets then that's just downright shitty parenting skills. Next time they force you to talk about it just make up some bs, and get the hell outta there once you are old enough/have enough money. Best of luck to ya fam ######


Prompt:
This happened last year and I only just found this subreddit. Also first ever post so go easy on me.
Last year one of my colleagues got diagnosed with testicular cancer and needed to go through chemo.
Chemotherapy makes all of your hair fall out in clumps and eventually you wind up bald. Some of my colleagues, both male and female, decided to shave themselves bald to show support.
However, I hardly know this colleague (I had only been with the company 2 months) so while I expressed my support and hope he pulls through, I wouldn't be shaving my head.
When shaving-day came around, both the colleague and a few others that had shaved themselves expressed they were hurt I hadn't shaved bald and asked what was up.
I said I still absolutely support him in every way, but I'm just not shaving myself bald. He seemed offended and the now bald gang said I was being a dick and I might as well laugh in his face. When I asked how come they aren't giving some of the others the same lecture, apparently it was because they were women and "needed" the long hair.
I'm almost certain I am in the right and they're being unreasonable, but I need a sanity check. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 Nta. That guy had more shit to worry about than who shaved their head to support him. What is that even doing? I get if my sister felt shit because she had to shave her head because of chemo... I would probably do it then to make her feel better. But shaving your head because someone has cancer is about as affective as changing your profile picture to a fucking ribbon.

Way to use cancer to make people feel bad. Shame on them and the person who had it for also joining in.

Also, people usually shave their head for Leukaemia. There are so many more ways to show support to those who have cancer like ummm donating to cancer charities and hospitals and you know, being there for that person.

This post has triggered me. ######


Prompt:
So a little bit of context; I (14M) live in NYC and have 2 siblings: my sister (23F) and my brother (8M).  We live in a brownstone where my parents have the biggest bedroom, I have the second largest, my brother has the third largest, and the other 2 bedrooms function as guest bedrooms.  My sister lives in a college dorm, and only spends breaks at home.

So until my sister went to college she lived in the second biggest bedroom (where I currently stay in), I stayed in the third largest (where my little brother currently lives in), etc.  However, once she went to college we all 'moved up a bedroom'' I guess, and now when she visits she usually stays in one of the guest bedrooms.  One thing to note is that my bedroom is quite a bit bigger than the guest room.

Until now there's never been a problem with that arrangement.  Recently though my sister had to come home due to current events, and it looks like she's going to stay until summer break ends.  In light of this she wants her old bedroom back.

My parents agree with her, and say since she's "older" she should have more space, and I ought to be more understanding and whatnot.

I absolutely refuse.  All my stuff are in this room, I've stayed here for the past 5 years, and frankly, IDGAF that this was originally her bedroom.  However, my parents are basically making me, and in reality there's not much I can do about it.  So reddit, for my peace of mind, AITA for not wanting to give up my bedroom for my older sister? ######

Response: NTA. That doesnt make sense for you to move all your stuff now then again when she leaves. ######


Prompt:
I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.

 I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her "ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it).

AITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ######

Response: NTA. That comeback was great! Seriously, unless you did something illegal/ immoral to get said money, I don't get why she's mad at your good fortune. I may be a pretty big asshole, but I would never be mad at my younger sibling for their success/ good fortune, that's just cold. ######


Prompt:
Today when my sister in law came over (she's also our neighbour) her 10 year old son also came along and instantly started tellimg me about his tik tok account which has many followers.Initially, I was happy for him but then he asked me if he could download tik tok on my phone, so that i can like his videos. I told him that he can just send me his ID and I'll like his videos later since my phone might not have enough storage rn. He just forced me to download it and even started to seize it from me..since i didn't look forward to any kind of arguements or fights i told him I'll download the lite version. He agreed but my phone didn't have enough space for that either coz online school is going on and phone storage is full of notes, pdfs and stuff like that. I told him I'll download later and he started throwing a tanrtum demanding i delete some of my stuff rn i said everything i have on my phone is needed and nothing is unnecessary so i won't delete anything. He went through my gallery and started selecting my friends' pictures to delete them.. i was furious at this point coz i don't click much photos it's just a couple or three at special times. So i grabbed my phone and went in my room. My sister in law saw this and was furious at me for ruining her son's day. I told her I'll definitely like his tik toks later and i have some  assignments on my phone and I'll install tiktok as soon as I'm done with them..she was mad at me for lying about assignments and not giving importance to her son's wishes and went home without having lunch :( Am i the asshole for this?

Edit - Thank you everyone for telling me I'm not the asshole. I was really frustrated about this since my sister in law also misbehaved with my mom when it wasn't even her fault. ######

Response: NTA. That child sounds like a monster. ######


Prompt:
I have lived with my roommate for about a year now. We’re both women. We get along fairly well, but have a recurring issue with her eating my food.

I recently went grocery shopping. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything, and she said no. Now because we have had issues with her eating my food in the past, I have resorted to putting post-it-notes on my items to label them so there’s no confusion.

Last week, I had leftovers from dinner that I had been planning on eating the next day and when I woke up, they were gone. I questioned her about it, and got non-answers. I had extra time on my hands, so I decided to make a recipe and use a large amount of ghost peppers in it. I’ll be honest- I didn’t eat any. It was specifically for the purpose of catching her.

I was in my room and all of a sudden I hear her screaming, saying “what the FUCK” and trying to drink milk to calm the effects. I came out and said “How did this happen? I labeled the tray so you wouldn’t confuse it for yours” and long story short, she obviously caught on that I did it on purpose. She called me a bitch and will not speak to me. I’ve told some of my family what happened with mixed reactions, so AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Thanks, i got a chuckle out of this one. You caught her in the act whilst she was stealing your property, maybe now she’ll take the hint. ######


Prompt:
My friend (22) was upset his girlfriend (20, still in college) cheated on him with his best friend and broke up with him right before he was going to break up with her.

He showed me his cellphone with about 30 pictures of his now exgf topless and doing other things, mainly oral. He looks at me and laughs, “I’m gonna make this b*tch famous on pornhub. He looked dead serious and said he wasn’t kidding.

I tried to explain to him how illegal this is and even without his face being in any of the pictures he would definitely face charges. I also mentioned how this would ruin her reputation because she goes to school with me and people would definitely find out. He told me she’s a slut so her reputation is already ruined. I took special note of how he didn’t even acknowledge my warning about him facing charges.

So when he went to the bathroom I grabbed his phone  (it was already unlocked) and deleted the pics. I’m pretty sure I got them all. I don’t know if his icloud backed them up but I didn’t go digging around for that. I told him what I did and ran out of his apartment door as he was screaming but unable to chase after me.

AITA for deleting potential revenge porn? ######

Response: NTA. Thank you for doing that ######


Prompt: Ok so my son never had a girlfriend, never had a crush on one. By the age of 16 he still hadn't got a girlfriend even tho he was a handsome guy. I talked to my wife about what her reaction would be if he turned out gay, she said that he will be dead to her if he is. come next year and our son turns out gay. I comfort him and tell him its OK. My wife on the other hand freaks out and storms off to her parents' house and is still there, her side of the family cut contact with us and we will be getting a divorce soon. My side of the family is completely OK with it. AITA for supporting my son? ######

Response: Nta. Tell your homophobic wife to move back to the 1800s bc thats where her ignorant ideas belong ######


Prompt:
Sorry guys about the poor grammar and format. I'm just shaken up and I really need to vent.

(I am Asian and my bf's family is black)

I have been living at my boyfriends house since quarantine and instead of cleaning or watching TV together we decided to play UNO. I placed a +4 card and he had to add four additional cards to his 20-something deck. I called him "loser-kun" (I don't watch a lot of anime but he is a big weeb. He calls me "apollo-chan" or "something-chan" and says things like "baka" or "nani." He did this since we have been dating in high school.) His dad looked surprised and his mom looked extremely angry. They thought I called him a "loser coon" (I didn't know what that word meant until I looked it up, but it is racist.) She got extremely angry at me and started screaming at me. I told her I didn't understand what I did wrong. She called me a "Ching Chong Yellow Bitch" (lol) and then told me to "Get the f*ck out!" I tried to tell her I don't understand what I did wrong but I'm sorry, but she said "Ching Ching Chong, do you f*cking understand now? Get the f*ck out!" I just left my clothes there and went to my mothers house. My bf called me about a few hours later saying that his mother will let me go back home once """""I"""" apologize. I just hung up. What do I need to apologize for? I tried to explain myself but she just wouldn't listen and started saying racist stuff about me. She said we wouldn't be in this lockdown if it wasn't for "retards like you eating f*cking bats" She was honestly so mean to me. Anytime someone slightly raises there voice at me I wanna cry. I know I should apologize for my boyfriend. But he didn't even stick up for me. Should I call him back and just apologize? I love him but I'm starting to think it isn't worth it. I did say something she thought was racist but she called me so many racist things back. I just don't know what to do. ######

Response: NTA. Tell your boyfriend you'll apologize for her mishearing you when she apologizes for actually being racist. Or skip that and just break up with him. He clearly doesn't respect you if he'll let his mother be so blatantly racist. ######


Prompt:
My sister is pregnant, and she lives with us. She’s 19. My parents have made me her personal care taker. Anything she needs it’s my responsibility to get no matter what. 1 am and she wants ice cream? Guess who’s driving to the store. And that actually happened. It was before quarantine so going to the store for her doesn’t happen anymore but she’s still a bitch about everything.

When she threw up I had to hold her hair, if she wanted a drink she couldn’t be bothered to get up, I have to get it. She’s pregnant not quadriplegic, she can get her own fucking drink.

If I ever complain about it my parents lecture me about caring for loved ones when they need it and threaten to take away my computer. I paid for the computer by the way, I worked an actual job for it, none of the money came from them.

I finally lost it yesterday when she asked me to give her a foot rub. I told her I wasn’t doing that and she cried to our parents who started lecturing me. I told them to fuck off and take the computer because I didn’t care, and they called me a spoiled brat and grounded me. Not like I can go anyway, because of the virus. My sister is now demanding foot rubs again or she’ll go to my parents.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Tell them they both can fuck off for me too alright? ######


Prompt:
So I live in a small flat with just one other roommate (female). Three months ago, she started dating this new guy and recently he's been staying over just about every night and staying through the day as well (sometimes even while my roommate is at work). He works ridiculous hours and often finishes work past midnight and wakes me up almost every time he gets home. My roommate has also given him his own key, so that he can come and go when his shifts start and finish.

I recently confronted my roommate about this, stating that I shouldn't have to deal with him waking me up when he doesn't live here. She told me that he's too tired to drive back to his house, which is over 30 mins away, and that it makes more sense for him to crash at our place and to stay throughout the day until his next shift the following night. Also, given that they both work so much, the only way they get to see each other (in her eyes) is for him to come to our place, rather than for her to go to his.

I don't necessarily have a problem with him sleeping at my place if he feels it's too dangerous to drive home. I don't want him to get in a car crash. And I definitely don't have a problem with the boyfriend as a person, as he seems like a really friendly, respectful guy. My only concern is that he's basically living here when he isn't contributing to any bills. I asked my roommate if she would consider limiting his visits to 4 days/nights at the most, but she refused to consider it.

Am I being unreasonable and should I just let them be happy? Or is my roommate being selfish?

So in summary, AITA for asking my roommate to stop inviting her boyfriend over so much? ######

Response: NTA. Tell roomie that you're splitting the rent and bills three ways until you can get the boy on the lease on make everything official. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, one is 7, the other is 9 and the oldest is 17, for mothers day my wife wanted me to make breakfast for the family.  So I made waffles for everyone, my wife doesn't eat a lot so she got 1, and the younger ones get 1 as well.  My older one is a pretty big guy for a 17yo he is 6'3 and 205 right now, Its a nightmare to get him full so I made him 2 full waffles for himself and I made myself just one.

We all eat at the dinner table and the 9yo was complaining about not getting 2 also, my oldest told him that when he gets big and strong too then he can have 2 like him.  My 9 year old got really pouty and refused to eat his food till he gets 2, cause he's a kid he got over it cause the smell of syrup was too much and ate it all up.

After breakfast my wife pulled me aside and said I couldn't just humor him by making a full one and splitting it with him and the youngest.  I told her that we can't give in when they are pouty, and while she agrees she said I should have at least waited till the younger one were gone to make the older one more.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Tell him to finish the one he's got and then you'll talk about seconds. Why let the kid waste food, in addition to thinking he gets his way if he just pitches a fit? ######


Prompt:
Ok so this happened years ago and apparently I am still dark on the subject so good people of Reddit let me know AITA?

I lived in a share house where all flat mates paid equal rent. One flat mate used the garage on the property to store his motorcycle (the rest of us had cars so parked on the road or in the driveway). Anyway one weekend I had organised a party and not wanting to create mess in the house told my flat mates me and my friends would drink in the garage... they agreed that was fine (and were invited to join the festivities) anyway the one flat mate who had the motorcycle in the garage said ‘I’ll move my bike out for the night so it doesn’t get knocked over”. All good wouldn’t really have been in danger but I get it. So he goes to wheel his bike out of the garage and while doing so smashes the brake light. He then says I need to pay for it as it’s my fault he had to move it. If I hadn’t organised a party he would not have had to move it so it’s on me to pay to replace the brake light.

I disagreed as we all pay equal rent so I have as much right to use the garage as he does and it was his decision to move the bike out for the night. He wasn’t happy with that and after talking to my Dad (I was only 19 at the time) I reluctantly agreed to pay for a new brake light.

Years later I still think he was a total dick about it and I shouldn’t have had to pay up. So reddit AITA for thinking he was totally unreasonable and taking advantage of the situation? ######

Response: NTA. Tell him he needs to learn how to not even drive an automobile, but literally back one up. He offered to do it anyway, it was his choice. ######


Prompt:
Some context: My and my bf are in high school and the girls he’s dated before me have straight hair, I’ve had curly hair my whole life and take after my mom, but she always straightens hers and once I got to 9th grade I used to always straighten mine too because I never really knew how to handle it. A couple months ago though I decided to just let it be natural. I wash/comb it thoroughly it every 3 days, but sometimes it can still get messy and frizzy.

The issue is that I started dating my bf 6 months ago and he never knew that my hair was naturally curly, so once I stopped straightening it he was surprised and asked why I never told him. Now when we’re videocalling he sometimes makes jokes about it being frizzy and “oh is there a bird hiding in it” Eventually I got annoyed and told him to stop. He complained that I deceived him by straightening my hair and not telling him it was actually curly.

I got really mad and told him he was being ridiculous. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Tell him he decieved you by not telling you he was an idiot. ######


Prompt: Today is my (24) birthday, I just got done with work and was watching tv when my girlfriend of 4 years came in the room to tell me she made my favorite kind of pie. She then asked me if I would rather kiss her for $100 dollars or kiss the hottest girl I know for $700. Not thinking much about it I said I would kiss her for $100. She got upset that I didn’t say she was the hottest girl I knew. She stormed off to our room and won’t talk to me. To me it seems like a trick question and I don’t get why she is so mad. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Tell her to spend less time on  tiktok ######


Prompt: My sister is getting married a year from now and is going crazy on her wedding plans.  She knows I'm only working part-time while going through cancer treatment and am struggling financially.  She's picked out $400 designer bridesmaids dresses for us plus alterations, shoes, jewelry, etc. and wants us to buy them right away.  I asked if we could look at very similar, less expensive options and she hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks. ######

Response: NTA. Tell her that if she pays, you will wear anything she chooses. If you are paying, then you decide the amount to spend. ######


Prompt:
We broke up recently, it was a toxic breakup, we lived together for two years... Well she jumped ship and moved in with her mom to a different state. She sends me a list of all the stuff she wants me to ship her, we are talking hundreds of pounds worth of stuff, including 3 guitars and a mountain bike. None of these things have boxes already BTW, and guitars are in soft cases.

She calls and says that they will pay me back for all shipping. I immediately get defensive and told her that I will not ship anything unless it is paid for ahead of time. I will not risk my own money to send her 3- 400 dollars worth of shipments to her.

Well she was obviously very mad and hung up the phone. She told me later that her mom doesn't trust me to send her back the difference of cost... Given I have never lied or done anything dishonest at all in this relationship.

AITA? I feel like I shouldn't take personal risk on this... ######

Response:
 NTA. Tell her she needs to pay a company to box the stuff appropriately & pick them up. Moving companies will do this or even the UPS store will package stuff (it costs more but that’s her problem not yours).

I wouldn’t ship the stuff yourself. You don’t want her to hold you responsible if things break in transit. ######


Prompt:
For some context, my girlfriend and I have recently had a son, yay!! But every time my mom sees him she acts like he is her boy. This has been going on every time that she talks about him since he was born on March 21st. So, would I be the asshole for telling her that my son is not specifically her gradbaby, and is my and my gfs son?
Edit(adding info):
It stresses the wifey out a lot as my mom is constantly trying to take over caring of him. She is also almost constantly complaining that she doesn't get to spend much time with him as we dont leave her alone with him much. She also refers to him as "My baby".
Edit2(behavioral stuff??):
My mom is almost constantly hovering, just informed of this through wifey, and she has on a couple occasions told the wifey that she is changing his diaper wrong in a very condescending tone. Then whenever the wifey and I are trying to do something, like make him a new bottle, she will come in and pick him up then complain that we don't take care of him well or that she is the only one taking care of him. ######

Response: NTA. Tell her now and make it clear or you'll be dealing with entitled grandma crap for years. ######


Prompt: This happened today and I feel like it was justified. So I’m standing in line at the supermarket, and this bigger guy is behind me. There’s a really long line, and I was up next to put the groceries down after about 10 minutes of waiting. The entire time I’m waiting, I hear him complaining about how long the line is and how everything is taking so long. Once the guy in front of me gets done and there’s room to put up my groceries, I finally get ahead to put my stuff down. I’m trying to do it quickly so this guy can finally have enough room to put his stuff on conveyer belt. I dropped a few things on the ground as I was doing this, and I hear him say pretty loudly, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I gave him the death stare, pointed at him and said; “I’m trying to do this shit quickly to get out of here so I don’t have to listen to your fat fucking mouth complain every 36 seconds.” He looked stunned, and didn’t say a thing after that. The cashier chuckled a bit after I said that, and I finally got out of there. Listening to that guy complain the entire time I was there was driving me nuts, and his comment lit the match for me. Was this justified, or AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Technically what you said was shitty but honestly, he had it coming. If he can't contain his annoyance for a couple minutes then neither should you. Him complaining about the line being too long probably made the cashier anxious about their work performance even though it wasn't their fault. Keep on being awesome OP! ######


Prompt:
 First post, bear with me.

I don't know if I'd classify my dad as a full-on Karen, but he definitely toes the line. The classic leave-the-mess-because-it's-their-job, ask-for-the-manager-if-the-food-is-late type. What really annoys me is that he never says please or thank you. I know it's not a big deal per se, but I think it's just basic manners and I call him out on it sometimes. I don't do it in front of the waiter, so it's not like I'm publicly humiliating him or anything, but he still gets very defensive.

Most recently, I reminded him again to say please after ordering (probably not in the most respectful tone, I'll admit) and he just glared at me and said, "I don't understand why you have to criticize me on everything I do." I assume he said that because earlier in the meal I had asked him to not chew with his mouth open (which is another thing I've asked of him to not do a thousand times before, but that's a post for another day).  Am I being unreasonable? Should I just give up? AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Teaching your dad to what I believe are good manners is a good thing and that he should treat them as people and not just workers. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.

Today I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.

She said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.

She got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.

She blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Teach her a lesson by getting one of those chess games for the pc. When she asks you to play her on the phone, set the pc to grand Master difficulty, and input her moves on the phone as yours on the pc. Use the grand Master moves as yours on the phone. When she gets crushed, treat her like she did to you.  "aw is the little baby going to cry?" see how she likes it.

She had to go first for this to work, obviously ######


Prompt:
I (18F) have been friends with this girl (18F) for a couple of years. She’s always had problems at home and has a lot of trauma from it. I’ve always helped her and stood by her. Last year she started doing a lot of weird things without telling anyone but me. Things that could put her in serious danger, like wanting to meet up with a 38 year old man for example. This stuff put a lot of pressure and stress on me as she can be pretty mean when things are going bad as well. I’ve been trying to get her to talk to a psychologist but I, of course, can’t force her and this lead to me playing her psychologist for a long time.

I was mentally and emotionally drained. It was so bad that I had to go to a therapist myself and eventually she taught me how to set boundaries.

Now that she’s doing bad again and can’t talk maturely about it (but keeps dropping all her problems on me), I told her that I couldn’t do it anymore and I only wanted to deal with her problems if she was able to talk normally about them. I’ve decided not to talk to her until she comes to me.

I feel really guilty about it, as she might need me. But I feel like this is for my own well-being. ######

Response: NTA. Take care of yourself first. ######


Prompt:
I was in a video call with people from school there was 34 of us. I was wearing my hair in two braids it’s a traditional hairstyle from my tribe (I’m Native American) a couple of the African kids started say I was appropriating black culture by having braids. I tried to explain to them why I had it like that it’s part of our creation story. They started talking shit about it. I got mad at them and said “a lot of different people throughout history wore braids” I was accused of being a racist and appropriating black culture.

None of the people in the call defended me I’m the only native kid at the school. They called me a redskin and other slurs and my funny of my religion I was threatened if I had my hair like that I quote
 “we will cut those shit braids out of your hair and burn them you racist pile of shit”

I left the call, I thought someone would stand up for me. But apparently it was okay for the African kids too act horrible because they were oppressed ######

Response:
 NTA. Swedish women wear their hair in braids, too.

Statues of ancient women "Venuses" show hair in braids.

Braids are not the cultural property of any one group. The *style* of braid, however, might be strongly connected with a group or culture.

I suggest you report that incident to a trusted teacher. I don't know the laws where you are, but there may be some sort of protection because you are forced to associate with those people by attending the same school. ######


Prompt:
I have a 26 year old daughter who can be kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to insult her because I know she got it from me but she isn’t the nicest person. I met my wife when my daughter, Ava, was 14 and her daughter, Riley, was 13. They hated each other and no amount of counseling or family bonding could fix it so we broke up for a while. We saw other people on and off but kept up the sexual component of the relationship. We both agreed that the girls came first until they were 18 and then they didn’t get a say in our relationship.

We got married when Riley left for college and they still hated each other but could suck it up for holiday dinners. Ava got married two years ago than extremely wealthy man. Riley has always been jealous of Ava but that was a tipping point. Ava lives a pretty amazing life now. She doesn’t have to work and they travel a lot. Ava has invited us on some trips or to events like concerts, high end restaurants, she got my wife Hamilton tickets during the big craze when they were hard to get.

The issue is she will not invite Riley anywhere. They are civil but that’s it. I asked her one time if she would consider including Riley and she said that person is not my family, do not bring it up again. Ava is pretty cold and standoffish and when she says something like that she means it. My wife wants me to push Ava harder to include Riley because Riley is having a difficult time right now and is extremely jealous. Ava is talking about a pretty amazing trip when the pandemic is over and she invited my wife and I but my wife asked me again to broach the topic of Riley to Ava. My wife thinks I’m an asshole but I think I’m respecting my daughter. ######

Response: NTA. Sure they might technically be step-sisters, but they definitely are not *sisters* by what you posted. They didn't grow up at all together and they clearly both do not like each other. Why should Ava have to include someone she doesn't like, and who doesn't like her, out of marital obligation? You 100% are respecting your daughter and good on you ######