Prompt:
The whole story is in the title.

My ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like going to the park).

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said it was inappropriate and that I should never have accepted them. It just blew up into a big argument. I told him his feelings were valid and we’d work through it and talk about it. Was it inappropriate?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your ex sounds like someone attempting to successfully co parent with you.

Your ex boyfriend sounds incredibly insecure ######


Prompt:
TL;DR — my husband started a YouTube channel, which I fully supported but I asked him to not record me and told him I didn’t want to be in his videos and he flipped out and deleted the whole YouTube channel. AITA?

•
•
•
My husband started a YouTube channel. He got a wild, hare brained idea that it was a good idea. He told me about it, showed me his first video, I told him it was very funny and I supported him 100%. He said it was going to be a “funny, relatable, YouTube channel for dads”, I told him it was a great idea, and fully supported it. Until he tried to secretly record me and post it. I told him as he was recording me (as soon as I realized he was) that I do consent to being put on videos that are displayed for the public. And it wasn’t a sexual video or anything like that. It was literally a video of me sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of lucky charms. I don’t care what it was about, I point blank said I didn’t want to be in his videos. I still supported him making the channel, and told him I could support him without being in the videos. He then said he was going to post it anyway, made a comment about posting videos of our kids. I was adamantly against that — I don’t want our kids displayed for world to see. It’s just nothing something I agree with personally because I don’t want anyone to look at my child in an inappropriate way and unfortunately, the world we live in, the Internet is a child sex offenders hunting grounds. I just don’t want my kids to be out there like that, plain and simple. Anyway, he flipped out. Told me I didn’t support him, he was tired of it always being an issue if it wasn’t my way. Which it’s the complete opposite. He behaves like a child when he doesn’t get his way, always trying to guilt me into things. We fought for a while about it and I finally just walked away. He deleted the entire channel and refused to speak to me the rest of the night. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your entitled to your own privacy, your husbands TA. ######


Prompt:
i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother.

i absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’.

i do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your dad seems kinda weird ngl, I think you and your mom need to talk to him about boundaries ######


Prompt:
I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it.
My dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He  mentioned it off handedly at dinner like "oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!"
My grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year?
I don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your dad made a promise and is trying to back out on a technicality.

If there is a legitimate reason for this, like your family is secretly struggling for money, your dad should level with you and explain why the upgrade needs to wait.

His flippant demeanor in treating you differently than your siblings sucks and you have every right to call him out on it ######


Prompt:
A week ago my bf and I made plans to visit my dad and his wife. My dad lives near one of my favorite restaurants, and I was hungry for one of their dishes for months. I told my dad that we'd love to have dinner, but I really wanted take out. I'd pay for it myself. I asked if he was OK with that. He was. I asked him to tell my stepmom to not cook for me and my bf.

Because I have autism i don't like plans changing. My dad asked if I wouldn't rather have a home cooked meal since his wife was cooking anyway. I told him again I'd prefer take out if that's okay. My bf is fine with whatever. But please do not cook for me.

Today I came in to the kitchen, and my stepmom proudly declared she was going to try to make my favorite dish... I love her, but the woman just isn't a great cook so I knew it wouldn't be very good, and again, I really don't do well with sudden changes.
Apparently my dad didn't tell her I wanted take out. She said it was fine, she wanted to cook anyway and I had already ordered food.

Now I just feel bad. She went out of her way to find the recipe of my favorite dish, get the right ingredients and cook it for me and my bf. I know she knows about my autism, and that she understands. But I just felt really crappy.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your dad is the asshole. He should’ve conveyed your message to your stepmom; seems she really tried to please you with your favorite food and put in a lot of work for nothing. Next time, text her directly; it’s clear your dad can’t be bothered to convey a simple message or was dead set on everyone eating the home cooked meal. ######


Prompt: So I was making two grilled cheese sandwiches for a nice midnight snack. I finish up and sit down to enjoy 'em when my dad(46M) walks in the kitchen. He asks me to make one for him too to which I oblige. As I get the bread and plug the toaster oven back in, he takes my seat at the table and declares he'll have one of my sandwiches instead even though I was going to make one of those anyway as per his request. Before I could say anything, he takes a bite of my sandwich. I go to put back the bread in the cupboard and he says "Too lazy to make another one for yourself?" and he laughs. I, already in a sour mood because someone took my damn sandwich, say, "It's fine, I just don't like it when someone takes my food.". He takes offense to this, scowls at me, drops the sandwich back on the plate hard enough to make a sound as if to show anger, and slams the door when he leaves the room. You could really see the disdain in his eyes after I said that remark. I'd really like to know if I'm the asshole here or not. ######

Response:
 NTA

Your dad is a massive asshole. Has he always been this way? ######


Prompt:
My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby.

My baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left over pizza in the oven for himself for lunch. He said he was going to go shower and asked if I could get it out from the oven if the timer went off before he got out. I told him, "No, I can't because I have the baby sleeping on me." He hesitated, but then he said, "I'll be out in time."

He went to shower. He wasn't out in time and the timer went off. I called for him a few times but he didn't hear me. The baby woke up from me yelling for him but went back to sleep within a few moments. I did not get his pizza from the oven.

He came out about 5 minutes later. He was mad that the timer was going off. He asked me why I was letting it go off. I said that I told him I wasn't going to get it. He pulled his pizza out and it was kind of burned. Not black burned but it smelled a little toasty.

He saying I was being lazy and rude. I don't think I was because I told him straight up I wasn't going to get his pizza and he said he would be out in time. My dad also told my older brother about it who agrees with my dad.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your dad accepted the 'rules' before he went for a shower. Serves him right.

Anyway, pizza is nice when it's 'toasty' :) ######


Prompt:
We’re currently staying with my partners family, we were renting but our landlords wanted to sell the house and we couldn’t find a property that was affordable in our local area.

We’re paying ‘contributions’ of around €800 a month to be here (it’s me, my partner and my child), I still also buy my own food due to food intolerances. I’m happy to pay that €800, but his parents want us to do a spread sheet of how much we earn and our outgoings to make sure we can afford the €800. We both work so we can afford that. I really don’t want to give them a copy of this information.

Me and my partner have just had a big argument and he’s said I’m a arsehole for not wanting to give them a written copy of the information.

I really don’t want them having a copy of how much I earn and what I pay out. I have nothing to hide but I want that privacy for myself. I’m an adult, my partner doesn’t seem to understand that. Even my own family has never known exactly what I earn and what I spend. Why should they?

I will happily talk to him about it all but I don’t want his mother having a paper copy or anything like that. They aren’t my family and they’ve said that themselves. I’m not really sure what to do. I’m happy to pay the €800, I haven’t quibbled about it in any way so I can’t understand why they want my finances.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your contributing that’s all it matter. Your earnings are none of their business. ######


Prompt:
My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat.

My family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. They try to sneak him food behind my back. I tell him he’s getting plenty to eat but they say it’s cruel to leave a cat feeling this hungry, he’s begging food off people and looking for food all the time. They think he should be eating more, at least another can of food at lunchtime, and again I’m being cruel to him and not giving him what his body needs.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your cat is not hungry, he's just gluttonous. Which, first of all, relatable.

If you're looking for a solution, consider giving your cat his food in smaller amounts throughout the day instead of all at once? I'd complain if I ate 2000 calories at breakfast and then fasted for the rest of the day. This has nothing to do with health, though. ######


Prompt: So, my (22f) bf's (23m) family lives in the apartment next to us. And his brother (17m) visits a lot. That's fine, but recently he spent a whole 6-7 days here. I was never asked if I was okay with this. He left on Friday afternoon and is already wanting to come back over for an indefinite amount of time. I both have extreme social anxiety and am an introvert. Having visitors is emotionally and psychologically exhausting for me no matter who it is, so I'm still recovering from the week he was just here. Plus he was talking to my boyfriend via x-box live asking to come over at 3AM. My boyfriend  asked me, and I said that I really am not comfortable with visitors right now in the first place, let alone at 3am. He got SUPER PISSED. He kept saying stuff like "well, I guess it's more your home than mine, since I guess I don't have a say." AITA for not wanting my bf's brother over at 3am for another indefinite amount of time even though I'm not mentally prepared for company? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your boyfriend should respect the fact that you both share the same space and that you have social anxiety issues. If he wants his brother to hang out at YOUR apartment as a "visitor" for days on end then maybe it's time you found a new place ... or a new boyfriend. ######


Prompt:
So I (f18) have gone bra less for almost 2 years now. I wear bralettes or sports bras on the occasion, but you won’t catch me in a padded bra. For what it’s worth, I’m super flat anyways, and most of the time people really can’t tell the difference.

On to the story. I was invited yesterday to a small bbq with close family at my grandmothers house. It was 98° and the whole event was outside. I have 4 cousins, one of which is (m25) and it’s a well known fact now in our family he’s recovering from a porn addiction.

He lost his fiancé of two years due to it but recently he’s been doing better. It’s obviously not something anyone ever brings up or talks about due to the nature of the subject.

Well, I was wearing a strapless top with no bra on, and halfway through my aunt had asked me if I could go put something different on or a coat because she was worried I was going to “put thoughts in my cousins head that could sway his progress”. I was offended, and told her I wouldn’t be changing because it’s too hot. I’m his cousin, he shouldn’t be looking at me like that anyways, and if he can’t see a set of shoulders, or a tube top, that must mean he can’t go outside at all.

They left early and since then I’ve been getting slammed by all my family for ruining the 4th of July get together and ruining my cousins progress, and life.

I feel like shit and I’m regretting that I didn’t just change. So, AITA? Thanks in advance. ######

Response:
 NTA

Your body is your body, noone else.

A. He should not be looking at his cousin this way.

B. Your aunt should not be trying to sexualise you and your cousin.

C. If he had the issue he should have stepped out and away, rather than letting his Mom make a scene. And if he didnt say something and she kicked off does she really have that little faith about her son, that he would sexualise his cousin that way. ######


Prompt:
This is my first time posting and English is my second language so bare with me.

My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. We have 3 dogs and during quarantine we came to the agreement that he would take out the dogs and I would cook, do dishes and laundry because I am high risk and our state is in bad shape -also, people in our neighborhood don’t respect social distancing so I get bad anxiety attacks when I walk around.

Well, he’s been 5-6 days without showering? I don’t know, but he has a dry scalp and I could see all the dead skin on his hair and face this morning. It grossed me out and I told him he had to shower today. He’s been playing video games all day and ignored the shower. When I had already showered I asked him if he wanted to shower while I cooked lunch and he said no. We have already had dinner and I reminded him to go to the shower because tomorrow early we are going grocery shopping so we can find parking after shopping. I just reminded him and said something like “you still have to shower, it’s pretty late and tomorrow morning we are going shopping so you won’t have time”. Well he got pissed at me and told me to go take the dogs out and he’ll shower. I refused and said that he’s been playing video games all day and we had an agreement about taking the dogs out. He still yelled at me and said he was going to the shower and that I had to take the dogs out, that I should help because I didn’t do anything today. Well, I made breakfast, lunch and dinner, apart from laundry and dishes. So I basically spent more time doing things than him.

So AITA for reminding my boyfriend to take a shower and to honor our agreement during quarantine? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your bf is really getting used to not having to do much all day. A lot of us will have rude awakenings when everything opens up again and we have to go back to doing things all the time.

I don't like to dance around issues so I would probably tell him that his dirty lazy ass needs to shower and that if he can't do simple tasks without making a scene then that's pretty disappointing. I would also stop cooking 3x day until "morale improves" as they say.

I mean, who wants to suck a dick that hasn't been washed in a week, that's nasty.

And who wants to suck a dick that doesn't even notice he is gross, rude, lazy, and childish. That's also nasty.

But hey, I'm single, so take that all with a grain of salt. I would probably end up being too aggressive about it. I get triggered easily by this kind of taking advantage of people with respect to household chores. Good luck. ######


Prompt: Six months ago my now boyfriend broke up with his ex and immediately started dating me. We moved in together and really started going hard in our relationship.  Throughout these past six months he has been in contact with his ex. He says it’s to make sure she’s okay and not in a horrible mindset after their breakup. He talks to her about once a week and I have tried to tell him it’s not letting her heal or get over their breakup. She has asked him multiple times if he’s currently dating anyone and he tells her no. (Trying to not hurt her feelings or self esteem.) She recently found out about me (via social media) and that we were dating and lost it. I’ve now been asked not to post anything as to keep her from being even more upset. I feel as if her emotions are being prioritized over mine? AITA for still wanting to post pictures of MY life on my social media platforms? AITA for not feeling comfortable in this situation? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your bf is actively lying to and emotionally manipulating his ex.

He is doing the same thing to you, by telling you all of this is to protect her feelings. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about her feelings.

He’s hiding your relationship and talking to his ex and lying to her face.

Red flags are abundant here... run. ######


Prompt:
Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well.  My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility.

Anyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your anger is justified. Your sister sounds nasty. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for privacy reasons.

My (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######

Response:
 NTA

Your accomplishments have nothing to do with her failures and vice versa.  She can be upset for herself and still manage to be supportive and happy for you. ######


Prompt:
Background & Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress/frustration/constant policy changes.

Years ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.

Incident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it.

Few friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You’ve done more work than needed. It seems like she wants both of you to launch the business...If you don’t have the bandwidth, that’s okay. ######


Prompt:
So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me.

They were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop.

He started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit.

After that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew.

But they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset.

AITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ######

Response:
 NTA

You’re being exploited. If you’ve ever sent him anything risqué, he’s probably shown others. He had the balls to tell *YOU* to chill after all this? Please leave him before you experience some real shame. ######


Prompt:
I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.

Edit:

* I am currently attending university. ######

Response:
 NTA

You’re already giving them half of everything you get, plus paying for your own things. You can’t be saving much.

Your parents should WANT you to save. You’ll need money for emergencies or just things you want. Plus funds to move out of their home one day. ######


Prompt: So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######

Response:
 NTA

You've taken the last three years seriously and worked hard for this test so you can plan your future.

Whom you let in to share your work with and whom is privy to your dedication to your education is completely up to you.

You had the same opportunity as your friends and foes to prep for this final so there's no excuse for their lack of material. You're giving your friends a valuable gift by allowing them access to your work, you should decide whom your gifts are bestowed to.

And there's no need to feel guilty about not sharing it with just anyone; after all, if the table was turned would they have been so willing to hand over their hard work to you? Opportunity comes to those willing to wait for it, you did and now you'll have the opportunity to get a higher education.

Shame they didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel as you have.

Best of luck with your college choices! ######


Prompt:
So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her.

Me: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable.
Mum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too
Me: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone
Mum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that!

so whaddya think? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You've explained to your mother that her coming in during your showers makes you uncomfortable and she should respect that.  I've seen from responses to other comments that your showers aren't excessively long and there's another bathroom if she's desperate so there's really no reason for her to be coming in. ######


Prompt: Hello Reddit, cutting straight to the point I had twin babies last September, a boy and a girl. Me and my boyfriend had a babygirl 3 years prior. Neither of us are religious but his family sees baptism as a part of culture and family tradition, so we agreed to please them this way. After all, we currently live in France and after I finish university we will probably go to Turkey, my homeland, and I want them to have a connection with both their cultures and this is a part of it. When my oldest was born, her grandmother said that they would like her aunt to be her godmother and I didn’t give much taught to it. She also named the baby but I shrugged cause I really liked the name and it fit her perfectly. (She named her Aurore, which means dawn in french and she has red hair!) But after the twins were born I really wanted my two best friends to be their godmothers. As I said I’m not religious, but if I can still honor my best friends who have always been in my life (one since the age of 6 and the other 15) and who will probably be in theirs as well, I would like them to have the title, not some in-law that I don’t know. We also named the kids with my bf (Selene and Helios, which mean sun and moon, so I think the three pair together perfectly) My bf’s mother was very frustrated and said that she would like her other twin daughters to be my twins’ godmothers, and she had already started sewing their dresses. AITA? I know baptism means a lot more to her than me, but they are my kids and I want to choose who to honor and be a second mom to them. ######

Response:
 NTA

You're right - they are your kids and you do what you wish in this regard. MIL has no say in it. At all.

EDIT: Looks like you're not married. If that's so, she's not even your mother in law so she has even less say in what you do with your kids (not that the inlaws should have any say anyway...) ######


Prompt: Basically, I accidentally knocked my friend’s appliance off the kitchen counter, shattering it. I told him I would order a new one, no problem. But now he’s saying he’d rather have the cash. Only problem is he’s insisting on $40 more than the price I’d pay on amazon for the exact same make and model. WIBTA if I said it’s either I order it or I give the amazon price in cash, not anything more? ######

Response:
 NTA

You're responsible for the value of the item that you broke. Any"upgrades" are on him. ######


Prompt:
My husband is working from home, I’m a stay at home mom, although I do freelance graphic design.

At work, my husband had a secretary/assistant(he flip flops on what he calls her) that he apparently relies on very heavily. Because when he started working from home he started asking me to write things down for him, remind him to call people, he even asked me to cancel a meeting for him(I don’t actually even have the ability to do that). He asks me to send emails for him(also can’t do that).

Our son is home and I’m homeschooling him, and also having to keep him entertained during the day, and while that’s not a full time job, it would prevent me from doing all the things my husband asks for even if I wanted to.

I figured he was just having trouble adjusting and just continued his natural work flow, which happened to end up with him asking me to do things. But he never stopped so last week I asked him to stop asking me to do things.

Today I sat him down and had a longer conversation that half the things he asks are not possible for me to do, and I don’t like feeling like his assistant, so I want him to stop.

He got annoyed and asked if I could just do the simple ones, and it’s only fair. I don’t understand what would be fair about it, but then he said he had a meeting and walked away. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You're not his secretary.  If he needs one in order to be able to work then I'm sure his secretary is so working from home.

It's his job / his employers job to make sure he and they have the capacity to work....so they should provide the software to enable them to communicate easily...

You still have all your usual motherly duties - it's not your responsibility or role to carry out work he / his staff are PAID to do ######


Prompt:
To cut a long story short, I made a bit of a fuck up and thought I had approval to do overtime so I ended up doing an extra 70+ hours of work last month on top of my regulars. Unfortunately, I have not been paid these hours and didn't have approval for paid overtime and my manager has said there isn't anything they can do. I'm a little miffed at this.

So, I have decided to steal back the 7+ days of extra work I've undertaken by taking longer breaks, internet browsing and finishing early and starting late. It's not like they keep track of it anyway. Am I an asshole for that?

(also in my country they only have to honour the hours if total worked puts you under minimum wage, sadly it only sadly falls short of that criteria) ######

Response:
 NTA

You're not from the US it seems so my initial thoughts are not valid here.

If you are paid a fixed rate and the company expects you to work more for no extra pay, then I see no reason to not work less to make up for it.

Just don't get caught. ######


Prompt:
 so my younger sister (11) has a habit of stealing from people. if anything goes missing, the chance of you finding it in my sister's room is 80%. i have this red jumper that i love and i didn't get it back from the wash. i knew it had been washed because it saw it on the line outside. i had a hunch it was my sister who had taken it. she went with my mum to walk the dog and while they were gone, i raided her room and found not only my jumper, but an entire box of stuff she had stolen from me including my inhalers which i need for my asthma. i was furious and took a few pictures and took the box back to my room. i'll admit, i was a little sloppy and had left some signs that i had been in there so when my sister came back, she was upset. i told her not to take my stuff again and she began to cry because i had 'invaded her privacy'.

my mum is on both sides, saying i should have asked her about my jumper (which i do. when things go missing, i ask my sister if she's seen them and she says no) but my stepdad is on my sister's side.

AITA?? ######

Response:
 NTA

You're not an official government agency lol. You don't need a warrant. It's not like you were reading her diary or anything. You were retrieving your property.

Also, it sounds like your sister might need some counseling. If this continues, it'll be big trouble later in life. ######


Prompt:
My brother and I are very close. When we need advice or just to talk we turn to each other for support. Same with my sister.

My brother married his wife in April of 2019 and have begun trying to have a baby. My brother called me yesterday and told me that they went to see her doctor and he told them that they should not try to have a biological child. My SIL takes medications that would most likely cause severe birth defects and unfortunately it is too dangerous to take her off the meds because it may kill her.

Obviously we were, and are heartbroken for them. My brother would be an awesome father and he loves my kids like crazy. I told him that it was not the end of the world and that they could always adopt or foster a child. He then told me that they were going to try anyway, despite the doctor telling them both that this was not a good idea because of all the risks.

I got very angry with him and told him they were both being extremely selfish. That even if they were able to conceive the risk of having a child with severe birth defects that may cause them to require constant care or possibly pass away at birth was ludicrous. He said that I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what I am talking about; and he’s right. I’m not a doctor, but I do know that I would be so heartbroken for them and for their child if something were to happen.

He says that I wouldn’t understand since I have children, but I do. My second child has permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen at birth. My delivery was complicated and we both almost died. My son will always have developmental delays and I will never forgive myself for it, even though I did nothing wrong nor did the doctors.

My sister and mother completely agree with me that what they are doing is terrible. However, my SILs family has been calling and messaging me and calling me terrible names. I only told my brother the truth because he asked.

So AITA for telling him the truth? ######

Response:
 NTA

You're not a doctor, however a doctor advised them of exactly the same thing.

It's such a big risk they're taking, that it becomes such a selfish one. ######


Prompt:
So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work

So they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids.

Well the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.

I’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######

Response:
 NTA

You're not "ruining" anything. It was a misunderstanding and that should have solved the problem, full stop. That said, "someone" being home should not be broadly defined to also include "lady we pay to watch Mom." The idea that "someone" needs to be home suggests that the "someone" will have some kind of responsibility. Otherwise, the kids would also be allowed to swim when no one is home.

If you are not comfortable with the kids coming over to swim without their own parent on your "watch", tell your employer. They can accept it or replace you. But God forbid something happens while you're inside and you get blamed b/c "well, you should have blah blah blah..." ######


Prompt:
I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before.

I understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already?

For context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ######

Response:
 NTA

You're in pain, and they should care about that.

More than that though, the longer you leave it the worse it could get. Which, if cost is their main concern, could quite easily drive up the price they eventually have to pay. While also doing more damage to your health. ######


Prompt:
My kid’s birthday was in the middle of February and his father, who lives states away didn’t send anything.

Every time they were on the phone before my son’s birthday, his father said he had the present and was going to mail it, when it was closer to the birthday, he claimed he mailed it. Then after my son’s birthday, he made several excuses then said he’ll mail it or would say “it’ll be there in a few days.”

It honestly made me sad and irritated seeing how sad my son was after each phone conversation. One of the excuses he told our son was that he has 4 dogs to take care of and doesn’t have time to mail the gift... who says that to their own child?!

Anyway I bought my son a gift had it mailed directly to my home and said it was from his dad. He was so excited and wants to call his dad. I sent his dad a text to go with the flow but instead he’s mad and giving me more excuses as to why he didn’t send a gift.

I explained to him that our kid is extremely intelligent emotionally and every time he lied about sending a present it hurt our son and is causing him to no longer want to talk on the phone.

So AITA in this scenario? ######

Response:
 NTA

You're going above and beyond to make sure your kid has a good relationship with his father.

The father should be grateful and not getting mad at you. He's the asshole in this situation. Who doesn't have time to mail a gift? ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend \[29M\] and I \[23F\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.

Last night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.

I thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.

I just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.

I realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ######

Response:
 NTA

You're already paying rent for a place. You cannot stop paying rent there.

Isn't it totally normal to spend a bunch of time in the early days at one or the other person's place? Four months is those early days. Even if it weren't a question of your inability to afford two rents, it's a weird thing to ask for rent in that situation. Especially as you seem to have taken on much of the daily chores/purchases for the time you're there.

You are going to have to sit down and talk about both of your perceptions and expectations and the reality of your finances and how that's going to affect both of you going forward in where you live and what kind of lifestyle you have.

You do NOT owe him rent for any past visits. No freaking way. But sort this out now. ######


Prompt:
I’m an Indian woman (21) who was born and currently living in Australia. I have a younger brother (18) who is severely disabled and requires 24/7 care. My father is in my opinion incredibly controlling. Everything I do needs to be run past him, he approves who I’m friends with, he controls when and why I leave the house. He has also chosen my career for me, Medicine. My father has also expressed to me that when I’m allowed to date in two years that I will have to consult with him first about the boy I want to go on a date with, and he obviously has the typical restrictions that any Indian parents would. Also regarding my future he told me that I’ll be allowed to move out once I’m married, and that he along with my mum and brother will live in a granny flat behind I house I live in with my future husband.

To all of this I think its incredibly unfair that he’s dictating every aspect of my life, I obviously do want to take care of my brother and my parents but I can’t deal with my father constantly using him to guilt me into doing everything he wants.

I’ve considered moving out now, I have good savings and would be able to take care of myself, but I know my father would stop me from being able to contact my mum and brother. And i’m worried that I’d be affecting my brothers future if I leave them.

I want to take care of my brother, I love him more than anyone else in this world. And I want him to live with me for the rest of our lives so I can take of him and give him a good life. But I selfishly want some life choices to be my own.

WIBTA if I move out of home potentially causing my father to stop contact between my and my brother, jeopardising his future?

TLDR: I have a controlling father, who will cut contact with my and prevent me from seeing my disabled brother if I move out. WIBTA If I do? ######

Response:
 NTA

You wouldn’t be ruining your brother’s future. Your father would be. Just like he’s ruining your future by controlling everything you do.

Holy shit girl, your home life sounds horrible. Run away right now. You are entitled to happiness and freedom. ######


Prompt:
( On a throw-away account because she has my main account)

So my girlfriend has been talking about moving into her apartment for about a year now. I've thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea because she doesn't have a bathtub

I have a health issue that causes me a lot of pain. Pain that I've discovered can be soothed by hot baths and a medical bubble bath. I of course can also take medicine that helps but the one prescribed for me to take when I'm in pain makes me feel all woozy for the rest of the day, which is not ideal when I have things to do.

I specifically moved into an apartment with a bath that I currently share with a roommate. My roommate recently decided to move when our lease ends, which is making my girlfriend even more insistent about me moving in with her

I've told her my concerns and why, and suggested she move onto my lease if she wants to live together or that we could find a new place with a bath. She refuses and is calling me selfish for not moving in with her just because her apartment 'isnt't nice enough for me'

It's gotten so bad that every time we text or call, she starts arguing about it and I'm afraid this is going to kill the relationship. I don't want the reason that I lose someone to be that she doesn't have a bath tub in her home.

Am I being selfish for refusing to move into her apartment? Am I the A-hole for not just giving in so that I can be with her? ######

Response:
 NTA

You wouldn't be breaking up over a bath, you'd be breaking up over her not supporting you in accessing something that helps your medical condition, when she easily could.

Even if your apartment is terrible and she for whatever reason can't live there, then you try to find a new place that had a bath, like you suggested. ######


Prompt:
When I (40M) was with my ex (45F)  she had a 5month old, I met her daughter 7 months into the relationship, we were living together within 8months of dating.

My exs daughters father wasnt around.

I was with my ex for 10 years before our firstborn and then 4months after our firstborn she was pregnant again, we have two daughters.

We dated for another 3 years and about four years   ago  we broke up because she had been cheating and had gotten pregnant, a nice way to find out!

My exs daughter texted me a week ago and asked to move in with me, her mother is pregnant  and obviously as the eldest she is expected to help out more and is having the brunt of her mothers frustration taken out on her.

I said of course, she's capable of making her own decisions now, but not to rush such a heavy decision because I live several hours away so she wouldn't just be able to pop down the road to see her mother and siblings.

I've since been getting spammed by her mother and her mothers partner telling me I was an AH for getting involved when she's not my daughter and for allowing her to rush off instead of solving her problems.

My partner agrees maybe I overstepped

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You were in this girl's life for years. You opened your door to someone in need. This is a very nice thing to do. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway on my friend’s account.

So I (26F) have a sister (22F) who I’ll refer to as Lily. When I was 17 and my sister was 13, our father passed away and we were left with a pretty big sum of money each that would cover university, rent, groceries and the down payment of our future house (we were given the same amount each). My mother split our money into separate bank accounts (one for tuition, one for rent etc) so that we could stay organized. We only had access to the tuition money and grocery money as our mother helped us pay for rent (she would give us the money for a house when we get there in the future). The second Lily reached 20 years old, she blew two semesters worth of payment on lots of cosmetic procedures like braces, double eyelid surgery, lip fillers and lash extensions. Last two semesters when she couldn’t pay she asked me to. I asked her where her money went and she said she got cosmetic procedures (I haven’t seen her in two years so I didn’t know). I straight up told her no because cosmetic procedures were a want and not a need so she is responsible for wasting it. She went crazy telling me how I hit the genetic lottery and how I had a perfect face that never needed fixing (I had straight teeth without braces, long lashes and double eye lids) She went on a whole rant on how I never felt her pain. I felt bad so I offered to lend her money but she would have to pay me back later(no interest fee). She got even more mad and started yelling at me and calling me selfish and that I had a job and could easily help her but choose not to. I repeated that I could lend her money but she wouldn’t listen and wanted me to pay for her. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You were both given the exact same opportunities with the money given. You used yours as intended and she wasted hers. That’s her choice.

Not she needs financial aid / student loans to finish school. That’s entirely her fault. She made her bed, now she has to lay in it. ######


Prompt:
I am not English so sorry for any mistakes or missunderstandings ahead of time. I am 27M if that is relevant and the woman was in her early 20's.

2 days ago on Saturday I woke up at like 2 AM(So technically sunday morning I guess) by what I can only describe as weird moans outside my window. When I looked outside there was a young woman rolling around in my front yard so I figured she must have been hit by a car or something and ran outside to help.

Nope, she was drunk, like really fucking drunk, weird noises, puking, halfnaked it was pretty damn disgusting to be honest.

So I tried to communicate with her and after like 5 minutes she literally tossed her phone in my general direction afterwhich I used her finger to unlock it and called someone marked as "Sister". After several tries she answered with as extremely pissed of voice(2 AM so makes sense lol)

Well I explained the situation and she told me she'd be like 20 minutes and to take her sister inside and put her on the couch or something. I said no because I am not putting someone who is literally laying in her own puke on my couch.

Well after like 15 minutes of me trying to give this girl coffee without her spilling it allover herself her sister arrived and immefiatly begun yelling at me for "Not helping her sister" and "Being an asshole for not putting her inside and cleaning her up asnow her car will be ruined."

I was pretty damn stunned but I got a bit of a temper myself(Mom is Serbian lol) and told her to take her sister and get the F out of here before I call the police on her sorry ass for trespassing, flipped her off and walked back inside.

Now I was pretty sure I was not TA but when I told my girlfriend on the phone the next day she said I was because the girl might have been freezing outside and that it was dangerous to not take her inside. So now I am confused, was I TA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You went WAY above and beyond as it is. I wouldn't want  a drunk stranger in my house, and if I was super drunk and a stranger came outside and brought me into their home I would be TERRIFIED!!! ######


Prompt:
A few weeks ago I (M16) took the online AP Physics 1 test, at home due to quarantine. My parents were both out at the time. While I was in the middle of the test, around the start of it, my brother (M19) decided to go into a room across the hallway and play a video of rock guitar music at full blast even though I made sure to remind everyone that I would be taking a test today. With a raised voice, I asked, “Can you turn it down?” And he doesn’t respond. I then ask yelling, “Please, turn it down!” And he says, “Shut up, I’m already in another room!” And then I say, “(brother’s name) FUCKING TURN IT DOWN! PLEASE!” And he doesn’t. I’m sitting in front of my computer with the timer still ticking and on top of being stressed and nervous from the test, I am agitated from my brother not listening to me, distracted by the loud guitar music, and increasingly agitated by the situation and the music a constant reminder of my brother not giving a fuck. After the test is done I’m more relieved than angry that the test is done, I’m in shock but glad that it’s over with. I chose not to confront him about it. Later that day he happily showed me the video he was watching, Tender Surrender by Steve Vai. I remarked on how that video was more important to him than my test (also silently judging him) but I was too tired to get angry. He shrugs it off, and I’m annoyed that he doesn’t apologize or show remorse.
Fast forward to two days ago I got the test results and I failed the physics test. I told my brother, “remember when I was taking an AP test and you were playing that loudass guitar music and asked you to turn it down? I failed that test and I hope you’re happy.” Later that day I tell my dad about it (imagine Candice tattletaling style ig) while my brother is in the room. My brother says that I’m whining and bitching and that it’s not his fault that I’m stupid and retarded. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You told your family you had your AP exam that day, and I'm assuming beforehand as well. Your brother was TA for being selfish and still blasting music when he knew you had an exam. You had every right to be angry that you failed because you couldn't focus from his loud music and you telling your dad was the right thing to do. ######


Prompt:
Using a throwaway. Short one for you guys. My sister has kids and they are lovely. I love being an aunt. I see them twice a month and try to keep up with what they do. However, my partner and I don’t personally want kids of our own. We are childfree and instead to stay so. My sister is really disappointed by this and keeps hinting I’ll change my mind. She points out how good I am with her kids, and she says that once we have kids we’ll realize how incomplete our life is without them. I keep telling her it’s not going to happen, yet she keeps trying to convince me.

Finally, last weekend, we had a Skype call with her family and after her kids got off the call, she said they asked when they would have a cousin. I tried to reiterate that we don’t want kids, but then she decided to ask her patented question of “but what if you got pregnant by accident?” She always asks this like it’s some trump card because I usually say we’ll cross that bridge if that happens. But today I was just super done with the conversation and I snapped “I’d abort the baby and you’d never know if you had a niece or nephew.”

Let’s just say, the call ended with her telling me I’d hurt her deeply and that we wouldn’t be talking for a while. I don’t really know if I was an asshole. I know she is prolife so that answer obviously hurt her a lot. But I just wanted her to stop bringing up that point like it was a gotcha because I would have an abortion if I got accidentally pregnant. It’s just that, I never would have told her about it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You told her multiple times you decision. She didn’t respect that decision so you told her again in a blunt way. Your choice not her’s. ######


Prompt:
Kind of a long one. Just moved into an apartment it's barely been two months. Way it's set up is the downstairs part is rented to an old lady, the upstairs part is a three bedroom space that's perfect for my family. Recently just moved in after moving to a whole different state.

The old lady has had a problem with us since before we hadn't even moved in. When we just came to the house to see it with a friend, she approached the friend and was extremely haughty and wanted to know exactly who we were and weird things like that, like we were "suspicious". Now that we have moved in she is constantly complaining to management and has made the prime complaint my kids, 5 and 3. The older child is autistic, and while he understands most things, he's non verbal and a little hard to control and I'm trying my best. The old lady keeps calling management on us because he's "running" and "jumping" upstairs and she can't ever "rest" and it's so loud and hard for her. She wants me to control my kids and I am trying my best, but I can't put them on a leash or shut them inside a room. She keeps treating us like we're hostile and suspicious, while zoning on my kids doing completely normal kid things and I've tried to take them out, or have them play at their aunts house sometimes but nothing is enough for her.

Management was also kind of iffed out at her constant complaints but to appease her, they offered to give us a downstairs area in a different house. That would not work out for us, since we need 3 bedrooms and downstairs units only have 2. They then offered a townhouse all to us but the rent is way, WAY higher and we can't afford that at the moment. I feel like an asshole for constantly refusing to move out because she IS an old lady, no matter how she treats us, and if she is really that disturbed I want to do something to help but I can't move out and she's complaining about how we won't leave. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You signed  a lease for that space, it's yours.  But, there's a message in their continued desire to help relocate you.  You'd be taking a risk by not working with them, bc they probably will not renew if you do not, so all you're doing now is delaying the inevitable  until the lease ends. ######


Prompt:
Ok, backstory here I am 14 F. My mom is 40F and my aunt and uncle are both in their late 40’s.

They have been in our house for the past two months because they felt “confined” in their apartment. Ever since they moved in, it’s been hell. And since my mom works really late (8pm) it’s easy for them to hide it.

They control my daily routines, meaning I have to do everything at the same times as them. Breakfast at 6 am, lunch at 12 pm, dinner at 7 pm, bed by 8. I do not follow the bedtime, btw lmao.

They constantly kick me off my Xbox so their TV ‘works better’, despite the fact that the tv works the same either way, I’ve tested it.

They get mad whenever I make noise.

They make me sleep in the guest bedroom because my bed is better and then guests deserve the best’

They have taken my phone away before, and then slipped it under my door right before my mom walked in the door.

I told my mom about all these shitty behaviors and she told them off but they continued doing it.

I told her that if she doesn’t get them to stop or kick them out, I will move in with one of my friends who is willing to let me.

I don’t know if that’s too far, but I’m not living with that any longer. AITA, Reddit? ######

Response:
 NTA

You shouldn’t be getting treated like that in your own home. You especially shouldnt have to give up your bedroom just because they like it better. The TVs being on at the same time wouldn’t affect each other, especially if they are not both using the satellite/cable connection at the same time. ######


Prompt:
Back story: My 13 year old sister suffers with anxiety and wants my mother to drive her around for hours. We were sharing a car that I bought, the mileage was rapidly increasing, I had to rely on my mother to pick me up as she always had the car. I cut my losses, gave my mother the car and purchased a new car.

Present issue: break light on mother’s car is out and have been like this since March. She’s now using my car to drive my sister around for hours a day. It’s an old car and I’ve asked her not to drive it around this way. They’re messy and leave food and rubbish in there, which I feel is disrespectful.
I’ll need it for travelling to college everyday in September and I’m worried all the unnecessary driving will cause damage that I can’t repair.
When I do need the car, the petrol is below empty, so I need to fill it up for them to just blow through it again.

Mother and sister have been out all day again because my sister is crying and anxious. I empathise with her because I also suffer with anxiety. However, I don’t feel that driving around for hours is going to help her. My mother constantly moans how she cannot cope with driving around all day, yet is doing just that.

I’ve had stern words with my mother today due to her driving my car around again after I’ve filled the petrol tank and after I emphasise yesterday and this morning to please not drive it around. She’s offered to put £10 of petrol in, which is not even half of what they’re using. My mother is furious and I’ve had shitty text messages off my sister. I feel guilty because I know my sister is struggling and once again I’m the bad person for standing my ground. On the other hand I’m so frustrated because I’m not being respected or even listened to.

Am I being the asshole in this situation? ######

Response:
 NTA

You should not let your mom have keys to your car.

If all that's wrong with her car is a break light those are extremely easy to replace yourself.

Your mother is only enabling your sisters Horrible coping mechanism and not helping her. ######


Prompt:
My husband has been pissed at me for 2 days over this and I’m starting to wonder if I’m really in the wrong.

My family is close friends with our neighbors, especially the wife and I. We talk pretty much every day and she’s been a huge support to me since we moved far away from our family last year. We talk about everything and have both given each other some good advice in the past.

Recently she’s been having some issues with her husband. Two days ago she came over while my husband and I were just sitting in the living room talking (I was folding laundry if it matters) and asked if she could talk to me. He was on his way out to grab dinner so it seemed to be a good time. The kids were outside playing and it was like the stars aligned to give us a good 20 minutes of quiet to talk.

She was upset. We talked for a bit and she calmed down. He came back, we had dinner with our kids and the evening went on as normal.

Late that night we were in bed watching TV and he asked...so what was that all about? To me, what we talked about was private, especially because our husbands are friends and are very much alike. I gave him the readers digest condensed version and said “she’s just feeling really overwhelmed right now and needed to vent”, which was completely true.

Apparently that was wrong. He wanted to know the entire conversation and I don’t think I had to give it to him. He accused me of “keeping secrets”, me dropping everything (laundry?) to run to her and that “we (as in him and I) always talk about the latest gossip”, which we do when it’s silly little things that we mostly laugh about. To me, this wasn’t gossip. It was my friend hurting and needing to talk privately.

He’s been giving me the cold shoulder since then.  AITA for not disclosing the details of this conversation to him? ######

Response:
 NTA

You should keep the confidence of your friend. She probably needs to have someone to talk to without it getting shared. Especially since your husband knows her husband. ######


Prompt:
Alright so. Within the span of a few months of moving into our new house, with a generous three toilets for each family member, my mother has clogged her own toilet. And refused to unclog it. Or even make an attempt. She insists it's too far gone for her to deal with, but refuses to accept any help in fixing it, mine or a professional's.

Instead, she's been using my toilet. And clogging it. And then leaving it for me to find.

Today, at a wonderous 1:30 A.M, I attempted to use my toilet. Only to be abruptly snapped out of my sleepy daze when I felt toilet water rise and brush my asschecks. This is the fifth time she has done this and left it unattended for me to find, usually at some ungodly hour of the morning, not to mention stomping in and out of my room unannounced at all hours to use my toilet.

So, out of anger, I stomped into her room unannounced and had a pretty heated argument with her. She said she felt humiliated about clogging the toilet. I said she should grow up (which might have been a bit uncalled for, especially considering the hour.) She tried to insist I should just go downstairs and use my dad's toilet. Which he never cleans. And he cannot aim. There are sticky piss puddles down there. The cat's litterbox is in there too. It reeks.

I told her she picked a man who can't aim his own piss and if she needs to shit so bad she should be the one braving his pig-sty.

She's been telling all her friends about how I humiliated her in the middle of the night/berated her/etcetra as well as going on her guilt-trippy rants about how she's ""Apparently such a pig, wah wah wah, my son doesn't love me."" Despite me never having said anything of that sort. I just want to be able to pee without worrying about my mother's feces gently caressing my butthole

I'm aware this is really, really petty but quarantine has driven me insane, especially since my mother and father and I have such different views on what's considered clean. ######

Response:
 NTA

You should have stomped in her room and screamed “who RAISED you to live like this?!”

Your mother isn’t embarrassed, she is in denial about her shit problem.

OP, buy your mom a poop knife and call it a day. ######


Prompt:
I (F 15)come from a very conservative family who 100% believes you should be married before sex. I am a sucker for approval and I respect my parents so am still a virgin. My boyfriend (M 17)is not, and he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have repeatedly told him no, and one day he explodes saying that I should be fine with it because I was born out of wedlock and that if I’m going to lead him on he doesn’t want me. I started to try and defend my actions but I got choked up and couldn’t really manage to say anything. He then left in a rage while muttering about me being an ungrateful prude. I really love him but I don’t want to go against my beliefs to please him but I’m afraid he’s going to leave me. I know if I sleep with him my parents will never forgive me, but if I don’t he will leave. AITA for refusing to have sex with him?

Edit- age/gender clarity
Edit2-WOW this entire thread is really supportive and full of advice. I feel like I was almost hoping I would be told that I was TA because I wouldn’t have felt like he deserved to be broken up with. I really don’t want to leave him  and we have been together so long but the thread is kind of opening my eyes to other manipulative behavior of his. (constantly asking where I am, being jealous of my guy friends/ not letting me hang out with them, threatening to leave or and tell everyone I know including my family that I am a slut, etc.) I’m scared to break up with him because I do love him but I guess I’ll just wait until he leaves me to be safe? Thanks for the support! ######

Response:
 NTA

You should have sex because *you're* excited to have sex, and if somebody doesn't want to date you because they want sex and you don't, then you should wish them well and let them go.

The fact that he called you an "ungrateful prude," suggests, strongly, that you're better off without him. Don't be so afraid of him leaving you. Honestly, the fact that he would behave in that way should be disqualifying - it should make clear that you're not going to have sex.  Honestly, you absolutely MUST NOT have sex with him out of a sense of obligation or our of fear of his rage or rejection.

How old are you both?

That being said, there's only one caveat here, which is that I'm not completely sure what's *your* belief system and what is your parents? ######


Prompt:
This story starts around February 2020,
So class finished and i told him how i felt about him. I didn’t realize that his friends were watching me from the back of the class. I think i embarrassed him and he yelled at me saying something along the lines of, “eww no.”

Later that day i got barrage of texts from him, “How could you think i would go out with you?” “You have medium length hair and are short, Also you should hit the gym.”

I was near devastated. See the problem wasn't that he wasn’t wrong as I know I could be more athletic and I am quite short. I was feeling really sad so i screenshotted the convo and sent it to my friend, asking her how to cope with it. She and I talked a lot about relationships and stuff.

Later that week she told a bunch of other people how my crush “ridiculed” me because i asked him out. The news spread around my friend circles and his friend circles so fast. Almost everyone in our grade knew about what had happened.

I got some more texts from him about how i ruined most of his friendships and how i’m a terrible person. I started to think that i might have actually ruined his personal life. A bunch of his friends started taking my side, and i just feel bad about it. His friends keep telling me it’s not my fault and i didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like i did.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You shared the screenshot and had a private conversation with a friend. That friend is in the wrong here. She had no business sharing the information you shared with him/her.

Also he did it to himself. He was the one who was a jerk. Your friend shouldn’t have shared what you told her in confidence but it’s not like you were spreading lies about your crush. ######


Prompt:
For reference I’m black and he’s white.

A couple weeks ago I confronted an acquaintance (we’ll call him M) of mine over his constant use of the n word. In the past I would just ignore because he’s a friend of a good friend of mine and we never hung out much, except occasionally with our mutual friend.

He would say things like “Look what these n****s are doing over there.” and “This n**** is getting on my nerves.” or “My n****!”.

No one else really had a problem with it and I didn’t want to be that one person who bitches over everything so I would usually just let it slide, even though it really bothered me.

Well, that is, until a couple weeks ago. My friend was throwing a get together and M was there. He was playing a video game against someone and he lost. He yelled out “Fucking n****r!”. I got really mad and screamed :

“You don’t just get to say that. You’ve constantly said that in the past and I’ve never said anything before, but now you’re really pushing it. I don’t know who told you it was okay to say it. Don’t ever fucking say that word again.”

The room got really quiet and everyone was staring at me weirdly. I got my bag and left to go home.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You say a racial slur, especially around someone who's black, and you deserve whatever happens next. ######


Prompt:
AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker?

I (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.**

That being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me.

Today, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything.

I know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched.

TL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You said "please don't touch me"

Co-worker continued to touch ~~me~~ you

I'd be upset too, if I were you! ######


Prompt: So I've been playing guitar for almost 9 years and have gotten pretty good. I figured I would save up some money and treat myself to a nice one after using a $150 craigslist buy for awhile. So i bought myself a $1300 epiphone jumbo size acoustic/electric. It has an electric tuner and stuff and had 2 amp ports but is still acoustic. My friend has been wanting to learn for awhile and hes just been using the one I had to teach him and practice and stuff. When he found out I spent a large amount of money on a really nice guitar he was really angry, saying I should have spent the money on two mid range guitars for the both of us and was selfish for thinking of me and not him. AITA Here? ######

Response:
 NTA

You offered the guy a free guitar and he thinks you should have spent $500-600 of your own money on a new guitar for him.  He's got issues.

My husband has a couple higher end nice guitars and a couple cheap (but still decent) guitars.  The cheap ones make him just as happy to play.

If your friend doesn't want your old guitar, keep it and he can buy his own. ######


Prompt:
So two weeks ago, my husband asked my opinion on cosigning a loan for his sister. I told him that honestly, I didn't like the idea at all and to please not do it, for consideration of our financial future.
His sister had her last car impounded twice for whatever reasons. The prior one to that, she wrecked and was then sued by the finance company for the remainder of the note. She's constantly asking him for money, all the while she has yet to ever pay him back.
She called last week and told me that he had, in fact, cosigned for her. Not only that, but it was a new enough car, she would be getting some sort of rebate check that one of us needed to take to her. I told her if she wanted it, that she was apparently free to drive herself to our house to get it.
I then confronted my husband and asked why he did ask my opinion if it didn't matter. His response was to tell me that he thought I would be okay with it, and when I wasn't, he thought I would get over it. AITA for being upset that he completely disregarded how I felt about this whole thing? ######

Response:
 NTA

You need to separate your finances from your husband. He is showing very poor judgement and endangering your financial future. And you need to look into why she needed you guys to help with the rebate check because she has a car now. Either she is not the one driving the car, or that rebate is somehow associated with you or your husband and you need to know that now. ######


Prompt:
Two other friends and I decided to go on a trip this upcoming September to Universal Studios for Halloween Horror Nights.  I've never been and have been invited the past two years but couldn't make it due to money reasons.  This trip isn't cheap, we'd be staying for a week at a hotel on site, food, plane, and park tickets.  All in all we were looking at about 1200.00 usd each.

Well i paid for my park tickets and plane ticket back in May when it was looking like the country was lowering the curve of covid-19 and I had faith by September it would be fine by then.  Well two months later Florida is the worst state at the moment with no signs of doing anything to make it better.

My friends told me that Universal is doing everything right  (according to who?) and it would be fine.  Well two weeks ago I got a refund on everything I paid for and told the other two on the trip I wasn't going.  I could tell they were upset and it just feels like there might be some animosity among them towards me.

I feel like an asshole for doing this but I feel like giving them two months to plan for being 1 person down should be enough time if they still decide to go which they probably will.  I also think I won't have as much fun as i've heard it was the past few years when they went due to guidelines and restrictions.

 So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You made the right decision for very valid reasons. We'd be in a better situation if more people were willing to forgo planned vacations like you did. ######


Prompt:
Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller.

I (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying.

I got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea.

Turns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff.

We have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You looked into it to see if it was viable before proceeding, there’s literally nothing wrong with that. ######


Prompt:
My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony.

I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad.

A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.

Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left.

I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family.

TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

Response:
 NTA

You logic is reasonable. If your bio-dad doesn't like it, then tough titties.

Your job is not to make everyone happy. Your job is use sound judgement in making decisions. ######


Prompt:
 Posting on sisters behalf

My sister, let's call her Aly, lives in an apartment building with 2 others, Ava, her sister, and Mia, an acquaintance.

The lease expires in June but since Mia has finished school she has opted to move back with her parents while still paying rent. When Mia left (early-April) she left food in the fridge and freezer and has yet to come back and get them, one of the items left in the freezer were frozen burritos, like the kind you pop in the microwave and shame eat at 2-am. Well, Aly and Ava had a few friends over Thursday night, one of which is a really close friend, the really close friend mindlessly went into the freezer and cooked the last two of Mia's burritos without thinking and ate them. Ava and Aly were unaware that their friend ate Mia's Burritos. Then Friday morning Mia came back to the apartment to collect the rest of her things and noticed the Burritos were gone, she then proceeded to throw out ALL of Ava's and Aly's food from the fridge/freezer in retaliation.

Aly and Ava were obviously disgruntled and confronted Mia who somehow attempted to justify throwing all their food away.

Whos the Asshole ######

Response:
 NTA

You know when someone would eat my food, I'd calmly, sometimes a bit annoyed, request they replace it....Not throw away their food, they might not be able to replace, in a tantrum

Mia sounds like a spoiled brat ######


Prompt:
So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.
Today I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.
Fast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######

Response:
 NTA

You knew it was going to happen, you told him and made plans so that your kid would be looked after.

"He finally got a job" then he should have made appropriate arrangements with the new job if he knew he was going to be in charge of looking after his kid. Sounds like he should also consider "being a parent before anything" if he's gonna play that card with you.

What would he expect if he suddenly got really ill when he was looking after the kid? I'm presuming he would want you to look after him instead.

You are not acting like a teenager at all and you are a good parent for trying to make sure your son had appropriate care, and making sure he still does by arranging for him to go to your mothers when your ex dropped the ball and refused to call her to sort it out when he could no longer look after him. ######


Prompt: So I am a 16 year old male who is half white half Japanese. My dad was scouted to be a English teacher in Japan where he met my mom which they had 2 girls and then moved back to Canada and had me. I have dual citizenship for japan and Canada I can go to either freely. Not counting this year but every march we would spend in japan with my moms family. Today I was in a discord call with people I have never met before and one of them was a straight up otaku (nice way to day weeb) I then said oh you speak Japanese and he said yes so I just rambled off a sentence in Japanese because I was excited it's not every day I get to speak Japanese to people who arent my family. And this guy giggles and says my Japanese "needs some work" which I then told him in Japanese my history with the language which he responded in Japanese with and me being upset about the first comment completely dissected what he said and pointed out all of the flaws in his grammar or structuring. Which he said in English knit pick much? I said I'm only doing what you are doing. Then he went silent and the topic changed. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You just taught that weeb a lesson in Japanese. At least he knows better now. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now.

When we were getting to know each other I told him that I had no plans of getting married in future. He laughed it off as me being young and he was sure I would change my mind about it. I was 22 back then.

He met my family and friends when we started a relationship and whenever anyone would bring up the topic of marriage I'd remind them that I didn't want to get married. We even had a discussion about it on our anniversary and talked about his plans for when we get married. I told him to stop bringing it up and we got into a huge fight about where we were headed. After we calmed down I talked to him about him and told him I was fine with him walking away if our relationship wasn't going to end up in a marriage and he said he wanted to stay and understood me.

One of my cousins was celebrating her engagement and threw a small party today which we attended. I was caught off guard when he got on one knee at the party and 'popped the question'. I stood there for what felt like a very long time because I didn't want to say yes and also didn't want to embarass him by saying no. Someone made a joke about me having cold feet already, everyone laughed and my boyfriend got up. I gave him a small smile even though it was so awkward.

Now he's mad at me for not saying yes. My cousin and I are very close and I was very happy for her when she told me she'd gotten engaged. We'd been talking over the phone since she's already gone into wedding planning mode and I was excited to be planning the wedding with her. My boyfriend says he saw how happy I was and was convinced I wasn't sure I didn't want to get married and planned this because "I'd realise I actually wanted to get married if someone proposed".

I feel really bad for embarassing him and he's said he needs some space from me.

I just need some opinions because I feel like such a bad person. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA

You have told him multiple times that you don't want to get married.  If he didn't want to be embarrassed, he shouldn't have proposed in public. ######


Prompt:
 I'm 21f and I been with my boyfriend since freshman year of high school.  I love my boyfriend and I do see having children and a house. I don't like the idea of marriage. I told my boyfriend this many times. Two weeks ago he proposed in our apartment. I said no and we fought and I went in the guest room. We haven't spoken in two weeks.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

You have the right to not want to marry. But it's best that you two figure out how important getting married or not getting married is to you, and whether it's worth throwing away a relationship over. ######


Prompt:
First up, context: I (29, X) have 2 younger half siblings (21 and 18). I was born when my mother was quite young, and my bio-father was never in the picture. My mom met my adoptive father, who I consider to be my actual father, when I was about 4. They married and my siblings came along. My dad legally adopted me when I was 9.

When one of my brothers was really young, he was kind of a dick. I don't say that to be mean, we get along great now, but because we conflicted so much my mom argued that it wasn't a good idea to tell him I was adopted on my dads side, because he'd probably weaponise it in arguments. I was young and thought that made sense, so we didn't tell him.

As we got older, my mom has made me lie to my siblings and extended family pretty regularly, about my sexuality (am now out, but it took a while), my work, all kinds of shit. I hate it. We live really far apart and I feel like whenever I see my family I have to spend the whole time balancing lies instead of genuinely building a relationship with my siblings.

I've tried to bring this up with my parents, but they blow me off every time. They've been slipping up, too - they've made facebook posts that hint at not having met when I was born, and I'm not on one of my siblings birth certificates either. I want to clear the air and have an open relationship with my brothers, but I know my mom will take it as me going behind her back and it will be a huge, HUGE drama. That said, I think being expected to lie for her all the time is unfair, and that at least one of my siblings is going to be really hurt when he finds out - and there's a lot of things that could lead to him finding out. If he finds out from me, he'll be angry at my parents; from them,  he'd be angry at me; if he figures it out himself he'll be furious at all of us.

If I went ahead and told them, and explained that my parents wanted me to lie to them, WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You have the right to live your truth, whether that’s your sexuality, parentage, or whatever else. It’s sounds an awful lot like your mom is ashamed of the situation and is passing that hot potato o to you.

Yes, it’ll cause drama, but it’ll blow over. Sit down and tel your parents that you’re coming clean with everything, and make clear that you are not asking for their blessing, but are informing them because you love and respect them.

Also, half siblings, whole siblings, it doesn’t matter. Those are your siblings and you all love each other. I’m sure they’ll support you. ######


Prompt:
So my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22/07/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?

So really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######

Response:
 NTA

You have plans that existed well before you knew about the hen do. ######


Prompt: I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is "because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part." I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######

Response:
 NTA

You have no responsibility to have children, or a relationship. You don't owe that to anyone. It's your life, you do you. <3 ######


Prompt: AITA: Last night my boyfriend took it upon himself to let our friend group hanging out in discord know that I really don't send him nudes. (I've been through a lot and have ptsd, and I don't trust technology. He knows I'm uncomfortable with sending nude pictures of myself and we see each other on a decently regular basis.) Our friends then proceeded to make fun of me for it which I expected since that's just our friend group. It still really hurt though. I went to talk to my boyfriend about it, and he said that most of my problem should be with our friends and not him. The problem is I struggle to trust people and I'm uncomfortable with my body and in that instant it felt like he just didn't respect me. Am I the asshole for being upset more with him and not our friends? ######

Response:
 NTA

You have everything to lose, and nothing to gain, by sending him nudes. It is not, and has never been, a duty to do this in a relationship. ######