Prompt:
I wanna keep this a little vague for privacy.

My gf recently expressed interest in learning a new instrument, she said it was something she'd always wanted to do. I play a few instruments myself so I thought it would be a great gift for her since I could help her learn and we could play together, and I know she's been bored stuck at home.

So I surprised her with it on Friday and she loved it, posting pictures everywhere and saying she couldn't wait for her friend to come over and help her set it up and that he would be giving her lessons.

I'll admit I was a little offended she didn't ask me but whatever, her friend has been playing for a long time as well so I get it.

Yesterday, on Monday, I found out that she had been sleeping with her friend. She told me she was going to start dating him and that she was sorry but we were done, it came out of nowhere at first but she had been acting distant lately.

I stopped by today to get some of my stuff and I told her I was taking the instrument I bought her. The thought of her taking that gift, and bonding over it with the guy she was cheating with just ruined me. She called me an asshole and said she didn't know how to explain to everyone where her new instrument went because she lied and told everyone (including her new bf) that she bought it with her own money.

I feel like kind of a dick for taking it back, but I spent a lot on it and she only had it for 3 days.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - normally I say once you give a gift you can’t take it back but in this instance I think she was the AH. ######


Prompt:
TW; some sensitive topics mentioned!

I considered, briefly not posting but decided to go ahead on a throw away.

My ex’s mother was very controlling, if she didn’t get her way then it was hell, she very often threw it in my ex’s face that he was aggressive (my ex was the calmest man you’d meet, he hated raised voices and would very frequently back down if he saw a fight oncoming)

We moved in together and this made life hell, she’d text him at the early hours drunk out of her mind and tell him nasty manipulative things, about him or his father.

When I found out I was pregnant she said the nastiest thing I could ever imagine, I guess after a while my ex believed her because we buried him not too long after.

I fully believe it was her fault.

Four weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

I guess MIL figured it was around my due date since I haven’t posted anything so she couldn’t have found anything out over social media.

She tells me she’s back on her meds and she broke down sobbing, in the almost 10 years I knew my ex we’ve never seen that woman cry, she asked to at least know the babies name and gender - I refused, told her to ask her son for our babies name and hung up.

I told my mother who claims I was overly harsh and she can’t believe I’d say something like that to someone who is mentally unwell and that it’s just spiteful to not do the bare minimum.

My ex would’ve backed down, so I don’t know what he would’ve wanted.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta - nope. Fuck that. Don’t give that woman anything ######


Prompt:
My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up.

Most of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.

She doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.

The thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######

Response: NTA - no wonder she doesn’t have friends if she’s the kind of person who will follow someone around the house to yell at them when it’s clear they’re trying to exit the situation. You are not required to be her sole social outlet just because there’s a pandemic. She presumably has internet access, she can access support, she’s choosing not to. That’s a whole lot of not your responsibility. ######


Prompt:
Hello,

First of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.

Recently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)

My parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment.

I don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######

Response: NTA - No woman is TA for wanting to freeze her eggs. Who knows what the future holds. You two may break up. He may die. You may marry and get divorced. He may change his mind. Who knows? All you are doing is giving yourself options. ######


Prompt: So it’s all pretty stupid but I thought I’d make a post since my family seems to wanna make it a big deal. Before the virus that shall not be named shut down everything I had two beautiful twin girls. The names I picked out I kept a secret until I announced their birth + gender. Both names are from characters I love and hold near and dear. The names are Azula (Avatar the last air bender) and Eclipsa (Star vs the forces of evil). I made a post about it and everything seemed fine until I got a message in the family group chat. My mother was livid that I’d name my girls after two villains whose names won’t “represent my daughters well” (I found out my brother told her who they were names after.) I told her that the names don’t define who they are. She didn’t respond but I come to find a long Facebook post about how I “doomed” my “sweet little angles” and how names have weight and will effect how they turn out. All the comments are relatives agreeing with her and how “people these days will name their kids anything”. I didn’t name my kids hotdog and cheese like I don’t get what’s so bad. Anyways I’ve just been getting a lot of “hate” if you will from my family. It’s making me genuinely wonder AITA for naming my kids after  two “villains” ######

Response: NTA - no one would object to naming a girl Delilah or Sapphira. The only difference between those villain names and yours is time. They’re not egregiously weird names as far as pop culture names go. Azula could pass off as being derived from Spanish “azul” ; I have never seen the other show and I would just assume Eclipsa is just a derivative of eclipse. ######


Prompt:
For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.

Since I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: "Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her," and they'll just respond with an "I know, right?" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.

 Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.

 He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of "Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol."
I know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - no one has the right to physically touch you without your permission.

Have you explained to your parents why you don't like it? ######


Prompt: My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ######

Response: NTA - next time one of them complains tell them you won't be offended if they return your presents for the money back because you know things are tough right now for everyone. Maybe that will make them realize that they are complaining so much they are sucking the joy right out of the gifts. ######


Prompt:
We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30.

He makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night.

We were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles)  I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, "Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me." And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.)

The thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine.

AITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them?

TL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ######

Response: NTA - next time he invites someone over remind him to ask his guests to foresee cash so they pay for their food and drinks and see how he reacts ######


Prompt:
I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours.

However, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't.

So, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - My mom was always the same. She took it so personally if I wasn’t having fun to her standards on vacation and would get so mad and put out. She had to plan every second out and you had to be on the beach at a certain very early hour or you were wasting the day.

Have you explained to them about your medication? ######


Prompt:
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.

They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.

My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######

Response:
 NTA - my husband and I try to travel as much as we can and I would be extremely upset if he used up points, hotel nights, whatever on someone else ESPECIALLY without even consulting with me first.

By the cousin not wanting to dip into their savings, which is completely reasonable and can be understood, your husband has now put the financial burden on you guys because you will now have to pay for what you could have used your points for. ######


Prompt:
For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old.  I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically.

Today I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work.  Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response.

Befor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house.  My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home.

My mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - my boss & his SO is managing to do a similar type of job to your sister in law and have two kids (5 & 2) in the house.

They work around mandatory meetings and clock off to watch the kids when the other can’t. Your sister in law can save those sheets anytime to take an hour out, deadlines for most office work are flexible given the current climate anyway ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for refusing to take my husbands last name but keeping my ex husbands?

My husband and I have been together for five years, married for 2.5. When we got married I did not take his last name. I was up front with him and told him prior to us getting married that I would not be changing my last name. In my mind, I built an almost 20 year career, graduated with two degrees and raised my daughter with my last name. I was a single mother for eight years before I met him, and I have the same last name as my daughter.

To compromise, I changed my name on Facebook to his so most people think I did change it (even some family members). Professionally and financially I still go by my ex husbands last name. (We share a daughter who looks nothing like me, so part of the reason I kept his last name after our divorce is being of custodial reasons. The other part is because I was already ten plus years into my career with his last name. We married when I was 18.)

My husband is all sorts of pissy about it. But today he got even more mad because my mother called me by my maiden name. I corrected her and said “no, my name is x.” (My legal name, not his last name which I use on Facebook). He is so mad right now that he is refusing to speak to me.

Am I the asshole here? I was up front about my desire to not change my last name. It’s so frustrating to me because he says that I have an “awful mindset” about this. I feel like being this upset about it means he doesn’t care about my identity and sees me as a possession. I feel like a possession to him. We have joint accounts, have bought a home together, and have a son who has his last name (and coincidentally is the spitting image of me). ######

Response:
 NTA - my best friend did the same thing.  Was married for however many years and had a little boy and was divorced for like 8 years before getting remarried to a great guy.
Her sons last name is her last name and she built up her professional reputation with her last name (big deal with her career).
Professionally and legally her last name is still her ex husbands last name.  On FB and socials she changed it to the new one.
It makes perfect sense.   And her husband it totally fine with it. ######


Prompt: I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ######

Response: NTA - Looks like some people who can give it, just can't take it. ######


Prompt:
Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8/9 months till he got his place

So my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.

His flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back

he decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions

Guess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ######

Response: NTA - like you said there's a difference between being messy and living in awful conditions. There's no reason why you should have to endure the bad smell and dirty apartment just because he is too lazy to clean it. Personally I find the mental challenge of starting cleaning is bigger than the task itself. Also living in the smell may make him slightly immune to it so it might not be as noticeable. You could maybe offer to help start the cleaning with him (even though it's not your responsibility) so that the task is more manageable. But highlight that in future he should try getting into a routine of cleaning once a week. ######


Prompt:
I (F 15)come from a very conservative family who 100% believes you should be married before sex. I am a sucker for approval and I respect my parents so am still a virgin. My boyfriend (M 17)is not, and he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have repeatedly told him no, and one day he explodes saying that I should be fine with it because I was born out of wedlock and that if I’m going to lead him on he doesn’t want me. I started to try and defend my actions but I got choked up and couldn’t really manage to say anything. He then left in a rage while muttering about me being an ungrateful prude. I really love him but I don’t want to go against my beliefs to please him but I’m afraid he’s going to leave me. I know if I sleep with him my parents will never forgive me, but if I don’t he will leave. AITA for refusing to have sex with him?

Edit- age/gender clarity
Edit2-WOW this entire thread is really supportive and full of advice. I feel like I was almost hoping I would be told that I was TA because I wouldn’t have felt like he deserved to be broken up with. I really don’t want to leave him  and we have been together so long but the thread is kind of opening my eyes to other manipulative behavior of his. (constantly asking where I am, being jealous of my guy friends/ not letting me hang out with them, threatening to leave or and tell everyone I know including my family that I am a slut, etc.) I’m scared to break up with him because I do love him but I guess I’ll just wait until he leaves me to be safe? Thanks for the support! ######

Response:
 NTA - Let me first establish this.  **YOU ARE NEVER THE ASSHOLE FOR NOT HAVING SEX WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX!**  No one should force you to have sex.   Consent is everything!!

He does not love you if he is pressuring you to have sex with him.   He is calling you an ungrateful prude.  This is not something that a person who loves you would call you.   ALL the red flags.   He is telling you he is entitled to your body.   And that is HUGELY MAJORLY wrong.

Please leave him.  You will find someone who understands and loves you for how you feel.   He does not. ######


Prompt:
Before covid, still a problem.

My daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.

Anyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.

When I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home.

We had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.

Then he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.

Aita? ######

Response: NTA - kids get mental health days too, it's not like she's taking advantage and always asking to skip school ######


Prompt: Me (M19) and my brother (M17) usually both split a mother's day card and gift. This year however he when to a friend's house yesterday (Fri) and will not be back until Mon. I spent 3 hours on Friday trying to find my mother a great gift going from store to store and got a card. I signed the card and sealed the envelope. Today he sent me a message through our group chat with friends and told me to just put his name on the card. I said no and told him he chose to go to his friends house and forgot a gift and didn't contribute anything to the gift. My friend say I'm TA. But my gf says I'm not. So Reddit should I break the seal and signature his name? ######

Response: NTA - just because you guys have always done this this way doesn't mean you have to do it that way forever, especially if he took for granted that you'd pick up the slack if he went off with his friends. ######


Prompt: First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account.  We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question  is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA - just because they are family doesn't mean that you need to let them use you as a bank. That's not a healthy dynamic. You have goals that you are saving for and you need to keep working towards that. If you let this continue then you will grow to resent them. Its hard to cut off family but you need to do it financially for yourself. If they have access to your bank account then you should open a new bank account and put all of your money into there so they don't have a way to access your money. Emphasis on YOUR money ######


Prompt:
So the background to this is that I'm pretty sure I have IBS-mixed type, basically I swing from constipated to diarrhea frequently. Nothing is normal, everything hurts and sometimes the urge to go comes on suddenly and painfully. I am in the middle of getting tests started but it's slow going due to covid.

My husband's generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally. The other day, however, was a real surprise. We were on our way to visit at a park with guests, which we can do where we are. Before we entered the park, I received the signal to go, abruptly and painfully, and asked if we could detour slightly to a gas station.

He flipped his lid, yelled that I needed to get my s*** together, pun intended, and then ignored me until we were face to face with our friends. Then he proceeded to give me crap for being on the phone and dangled chocolate at me before snatching it back and saying "you're not hungry, are you?"

I ended up excusing myself, leaving the park on foot and walking about 0.8 km to the bathroom and back. When I got back, our guests were in the middle of leaving. I apologized for leaving and was assured it was totally understandable. After they left, we had a fight. He says I'm TA for being a problem all the time and that I was rude to leave, and I say he's TA for not stopping when it was urgent and that nobody should have to apologize for having to emergency poop. This is the first time he's really been an ass about this in 4 years, but it really stuck with me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA - jesus christ, you  needed the bathroom. It was a small detour. It's really not cool that he was happy to let you sit in pain (and probably with an embarrassed unease around your friends) just so he could get to the park 10 minutes faster.

Your husband was being an ass, and FTR if he's "generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally", that's not being supportive. ######


Prompt:
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.

I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Its not your responsibility. Your grandparents and aunt are tho for expecting you to babysit your cousin ######


Prompt:
I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)

Ever since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to

A cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because

1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home
2. I’m a bit possessive about it.
3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it

I’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ######

Response:
 NTA - It’s yours. You don’t have to give up anything especially now a Pc you built yourself. Why don’t you find a cheap one on marketplace and send them the link.

Say sorry I have a lot of personal photos and details saved on that computer I don’t want to lose but here is a cheap option. That they won’t be able to waste their time and play games on lol ######


Prompt:
Ok so I am neither the parent nor the son in this story. This happened between my father and my brother and it’s kind of split the family. It happened a few months ago but still gets brought up so I was hoping to get Reddit’s take on the situation. For the sake of making it easier to read I’ll be writing from my dad’s perspective.
***

So I (57M) recently discovered my younger son (24M) has been hiding a snake in his bedroom. My two sons (24M and 27M) both live with my wife and I rent-free in our home. All I ask from them is that they help with household chores and respect me and their mom.
My younger son has wanted a snake ever since he was 6. In that time my sons have had a myriad of pets. Over the 20-some years we have been in this house we’ve had dogs, cats, a turtle, countless fish, and frogs.
The only animal I’ve ever said no to is a snake. I don’t like them. I don’t like how big they get and how potentially dangerous they could be to our other pets if my son isn’t careful — and he has a history of not being careful. My father in law at one point considered letting my son get a snake to keep at their house. Fine, so long as it isn’t in my house.

One day while putting mail in my son’s bedroom I noticed that there was a weird glow coming from the corner. I went to look at it and found that he had an aquarium set up with a ball python.
I had words with my son and within a few hours he had sold it to someone who apparently has a lot of snakes that she raises.

My son was very upset to give up his snake. His girlfriend still won’t talk to me and I think even my wife has doubts about whether we did the right thing. I stand firm that I did what was right. I told him no snakes and he went and got a snake and then tried to hide it from me.
So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - It’s your house, and in the end you get a say in what pets are allowed. Your son is the AH for trying to hide it from you. If he wants a snake that badly he can move out and get his own place.

That being said, I am curious exactly how you reacted and what “words” you had with him? At any point did you threaten him or the snake? How long did you give him to move the snake and what would the consequences be if he had not? ######


Prompt:
Day before yesterday i was talking to my grandmother on facetime when we were talking about my cousin (F 26) having a kid. All of a sudden she starts talking about me having kids. For the context i got married at 16 (this is pretty common practice in Arabia and I live in London with my husband).  She tells me that i should start my own family and i politely told her no because me nor my husband want kids right now, we're both studying and i feel like I'm too young. But she wont stop talking about even after me trying to change the topic multiple times.  She repeated herself like a MILLION times and it made me very uncomfortable. The weirdest thing was that she wants me to carry the baby, give birth and then send my child back to my home country and she will raise it. I told her no and reminded her that her other granddaughter (my cousin) is having a kid and she should pay attention to her kid and look after them. She always complains that she has gotten very lazy while being pregnant and is making her mother help her. I don't see any issue in that as its their own matter. But after this happened  I could not stop thinking about it and haven't told anyone else yet.

So reddit am i the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA - it’s so weird when anyone wants to tell you what to do with your body, especially something as huge as growing a human in it ######


Prompt: Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ######

Response: NTA - it’s okay for you to not cater to her, that isn’t your responsibility. You’re also being considerate on her part, because you’re right that she may be overloaded! It’s your day and you’re doing what’s best for both of you ######


Prompt:
This happened a while back but I have recently been thinking about it. We came in to school late as I was just walking around avoiding first period and he was off buying weed so we met up at the shopping centre next to our school. We walk in and I can immediately smell the most potent weed smell I tell him and he says “it’s fine no one will notice”. A few minutes later and were talking to a teacher who instantly recognised the smell, she was a nice teacher so he didn’t get in trouble she just warned him that she could smell it so other teachers would be able to. He starts panicking and asks to wrap it up in my PE kit and I’ll give him it last period. I say no because I didn’t want my PE kit to stink of weed as I had PE last period which means the smell would have had all day to stick to it and I planned on wearing my PE kit home and didn’t want to smell of weed when speaking to my parents.

AITA ######

Response: NTA - it’s not your problem at all ######


Prompt:
So my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22/07/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?

So really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######

Response:
 NTA - it’s not refundable and you can’t reschedule. It’s possible that the hen do will have to be rescheduled anyway.  I don’t know why an event which shall not be named makes everyone assume other people should be available 24/7 but the fact is, you have plans that you can’t change. If you feel badly about missing the event maybe you could plan something for just you and your sister to celebrate.

Edited to remove rule breaking portion ######


Prompt:
I know how the title sounds!

I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.

3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.

I gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.

Two years  ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.

I’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess.

My husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart, he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister.

My husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that)

Since getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral.

I’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.

My husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going  university and working)

At this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - It’s been 2 years. In my opinion it kind of sounds like she’s taking advantage because she’s had it easy so long and has the attitude that her brother “wouldn’t let his baby sister live on the street”.
She has a child she needs to provide for and set a good example for. Bad timing with Covid and all that but she’s had two years to sort her life out. ######


Prompt:
So my close friend (Q) & her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it & said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways.

In the process of planning (& hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):

1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes & scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests & THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests & Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it & agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple.

2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q & W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W & how W has been affected. & she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, & it took a while before she got it.

So yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######

Response: NTA - it’s an engagement between 2 people. Not just one person and it’s especially important to emphasize her fiancé’s role because of how Q’s family has treated him ######


Prompt: Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ######

Response: NTA - It's yours to do what you want to do with it. If she wants the expensive perfume then she can buy it herself. She's been sneaking around because she knows what she's doing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your things to be YOUR things. ######


Prompt:
I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.

As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.

I write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement.

WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######

Response:
 NTA - it's your personal information, you should share it, or not share it, in the way that is most comfortable for you.

If you're really worried about it, maybe you can ask your husband to say something to them.  That way they're getting the personal touch, but you don't have to be there to hear any judgment from them. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

My insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.

I told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.

AITA for getting upset? ######

Response: NTA - It's YOUR money. You are an ADULT. They don't get to spend your money on your adult brother to "discipline" you. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.

Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.

I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.

But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.

Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.

My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.

I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.

She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.

When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).

I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######

Response:
 NTA - It's your equipment, and the circumstances for which you agreed to give her the equipment have drastically altered. The same way you waited till this global pandemic to use it again, they waited till now to actually clear the space, expecting you to hold them forever until they decide they're ready, and even avoiding your attempts to actually give her the equipment. She wants it now for the same reason you want to keep it. You stopped needing it in November and it's now April. At the end of the day, it's your equipment and if you now need it, then you can't be expected to give it away. If your nephew needs equipment so badly, he can come use it at your place.

Also, she shouldn't have decided way after the fact that this agreement would still be in play and prep in advance without even discussing with you first. Given the epidemic, I think most people would assume you would've started using them again. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway my wife is on reddit

My daughter(24F) is a lesbian I found out by accident when she was 15 and I saw her in her room kissing a female friend she didn't realize that I saw them so I just moved away slowly and quietly. I told her the next day what I saw and she came out to me, I told her it was okay and that this wouldn't change anything in our relationship, I suggested she tell her mom/my wife, she said she would tell her one day when she is ready but I should keep it a secret

I asked her why she didn't want to tell her she said, her mom has a big mouth and she didn't want other people to know especially her grandparents(my wife's parents are homophobic) so I just let it be and kept the secret as it wasn't my secret to tell.

Well my wife recently found out when my daughter brought her long term girlfriend home who is now her fiancee to introduce her to my wife (I've known about this girl since they started dating, even met her parents), my wife got angry and asked our daughter why she kept this secret from her parents? My daughter  responded by saying I knew and I was the one supporting.

My wife then asked me how long I've known about this and I told her truth about everything. Well I'm now being called a liar ( which is true and I understand that I lied all this time but it wasn't my secret to tell), she has accused me of living a double life and sneaking out at night to have dinner with my daughter's secret lovers( also true but my daughter asked me to meet her GF and the asked me to meet her parents, I even play golf with my daughter's fiancee's father)

Then my wife did what my daughter feared about telling her the truth, she called the whole family and some of her friends, now me and my daughter are being called assholes for keeping such a big secret, I'm being called a horrible lying husband.

I just need the opinions of internet strangers on if I'm the asshole or not. ######

Response: NTA - it's your daughter's decision when she tells people. The golden rule is to NEVER out anyone. You did the right thing, your wife is probably just annoyed she wasn't trusted. ######


Prompt:
This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.

I (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me.

She noticed me look back her at her and she asked "What's your name?"

I was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked "Why?"

She started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.

Instead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being.

Meanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.

So AITA? Was I being rude? ######

Response: NTA - It's your choice to tell somebody your name. ######


Prompt:
So I'll keep this short and sweet because it's so dumb.

2 neighbors and I share a driveway because we're in townhouses. We each have our own little garden along it. One of my neighbors have started driving through mine while reversing into their garage and killing my gnomes. I tried to talk to them about it but the wife had a go at me for taking photos of her kids (I didn't even have a phone out). Also, they have plenty of space to reverse in because I do it with my own garage, and this only started around Christmas after almost 2 years of living here

After that they started putting the kids bikes in my garden, so I've been pushing them back against their garage door.

My garden isn't that great, but it's my property, and I like having gnomes and lawn ornaments in it because it's just some fun.

So WITBA if I started to add those little metal decorative fence/edge things to keep them out? Possibly killing a tire of a bike or car? ######

Response:
 NTA - it's very inconsiderate of them.

In a similar situation, my neighbour ran a daycare and every morning one of the moms would drive over my garden and crush my plants. I asked her not to, my neighbour asked her not to, and each time she'd stop for a day or so and then it would start again.

So I replaced my crushed lavender with tall decorative grass hiding a big fucking rock.

She drove through the grass and cracked her bumper on the rock. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) have been living on my own for about 2 years now, but moved back in with my mom to save money during this time.

When I live alone or with roommates, I rarely ever think about what I eat on a daily basis. But when I’m home, my mom is constantly asking what I’m eating or offering up “healthier” suggestions and I’ve found I feel very anxious eating at her house. She also does this to my sister (21F) and has been a lot worse to her than me in the past. She put my sister on Weight Watchers in like 6th grade. My sister just recently found medical records from that time saying she was not considered overweight until high school.

My mom has a history of bulimia and has been pretty weird about food ever since then. She’s always buying elixirs and protein powders and sugar alternatives and trying to make her food “healthier”.

This morning as I was making my coffee (French press with oat milk) she said that I really should let her make me one of her “coffee drinks” with beef collagen and adaptogens and whatever other shit she was gonna throw in there. Granted, I had not had my coffee yet but I went OFF on how adding processed alternatives to substitute real foods is not “healthy” and the way she micromanages our eating is pretty messed up.

My brother (18M) stepped in and said I was being unusually harsh to my mom and that she doesn’t care what we eat. Of course he thinks that, he’s a “growing boy” in her mind and she doesn’t treat his eating the same as she does my sister and mine.

My sister didn’t want to get into the argument because she didn’t want to bring up poor feelings from our moms bad ED days and overall upbringing.

AITA for calling her out?

tl;dr my mom has an unhealthy relationship with food that she projects onto my sister and I. I finally called her out on it today. ######

Response: NTA - It's very concerning that your mother is pushing her residual eating disorder thinking onto you and your sister. Maybe you should sit her down and as kindly as possible have a conversation with her about that. Ignoring the problem, contrary to popular belief, does not make it go away. ######


Prompt: All my life I've babysat people when it comes to hanging out. I'll ask, they'll say "I'll get back to you" or "sure maybe next week" or some such thing, and then days will go by and I hear nothing up until the last minute or don't hear anything at all. Recently I decided I'm done doing that. If they don't give me concrete plans or even something like "sure I'm free this weekend or "I think I'm free Monday and Tuesday, let me check and make sure" or something specific like that I just assume we're not hanging out and make other plans. Well recently what I've always feared happening happened. Somebody actually did get back to me at the last minute and I had already made plans with someone else who actually gave me specific plans and information to plan my week off of. This person is upset because I was like "I'm sorry but you didn't give me anything specific and you waited till the last minute to let me know". Am I the asshole for for not putting my whole week and life on hold while I wait for someone to get back to me? ######

Response: NTA - It's rude of them to leave you hanging until the last minute.  If they don't give you a specific reason for the last minute yes or no, then it sounds like they're waiting for a better offer to come along or waiting to see if they're in the mood to hang out.  Like if you had asked if they wanted to do something and they said, 'yeah, but I have x going on, so I won't know if I'm free until the day of' then that's one thing, but radio silence until the last minute is disrespectful of your time and would make anyone feel bad and undervalued as a friend. ######


Prompt:
I've dated a girl for a few months. I'm her first since her husband of 2 weeks died a year ago this July.
She wants to bring this kid along, but doesn't want her husband's family to know she's dating, so we can't flirt, hold hands, kiss etc. with him around.

Because of that, I said we can't bring him unless she can tell him about us. She can't tell him, but already promised the kid he'd join us. I told her she'd have to go without me if she's gonna bring him.

It might be worth to mention she's got a couple of friends with us to disguise the fact that she's travelling with her new boyfriend.

So, am I the asshole here, or is my decision fair? ######

Response: NTA - it's not much of a vacation if you spend it hiding your relationship. ######


Prompt:
My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.

For a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.

We currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.

She says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.

AMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?

Edit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######

Response: NTA - It's awful that her friend is going through abuse, but if you don't feel comfortable with it (and I understand why you wouldn't, this person is a stranger), then your girlfriend is wrong for pushing you. Especially since you'd have to get a whole new apartment for it. Your girlfriend should look into any other resources - other people/friends who might have spare rooms, possible shelters, etc. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé has been jobless for almost an entire year now. I am currently working two jobs (roughly 65 hours a week) and am frequently exhausted when I get home. With our current situation, I have asked that she do most of the cleaning because I usually don’t have the time to do it properly and I don’t want to live in a pig sty.

I don’t ask her to do everything and I don’t ask her to clean up after me. I do my own dishes and what is in the sink while I’m doing my own, I take out the trash on my way out, and I do a load (or more) of laundry every day. I leave at 6am most mornings and don’t get home until around 7-8 every night.

With this being said, I’ve talk to her and ask her to do a few things here and there to get things together. She always argues with me that she shouldn’t be doing all the cleaning and normally I would agree. HOWEVER, she sits at home all day and does nothing but watch tv or play games while I am working my ass off to support the both of us until she can find a job! When she gets one I can loosen my hours so I’m not working so much and it will go back to equal amounts of chores. AITA??

Also for clarification, this isn’t some sexist bs, we are both female.

Tl;Dr my unemployed (not COVID-19 related) fiancée complains about having to do most of the cleaning while I’m working two jobs to support the both of us. ######

Response: NTA - it wouldn’t be sexist if you were a male either. She is a mooch. ######


Prompt:
This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.
It was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.
My brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.
I got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.
1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me.
2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.
3. She had money for a cab
4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.
5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.
6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked.
7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.
She ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - it woulda been different if your brother weren't there, but he was. You didn't leave her by herself. She wasn't in danger.

Yea, you coulda double checked with her, but the most people should be angry about is you abruptly changing plans (she mentioned staying with you) ######


Prompt:
I have a new roommate in a share house. There's a few of us here, all young adults.

My new roommate wants to give music lessons to children and I said no.

I said no mainly because I am uncomfortable with having children at the house. This is a young adults share house where we all study and work. We are often home during the day, have boyfriends and girlfriend's over, have sex and so on.

It seems inappropriate to bring children into this environment.

I also have noise concerns, as the rest of us are often home during when these lessons would be, trying to study and relax.

But my main issue I don't really like kids, I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be around strange adults coming and going and I don't want kids hanging around my house.

AITA for saying no to the music lessons? ######

Response: NTA - it would be deeply inappropriate for someone to bring a string of random children into this type of home. Your roommate doesn’t have access to background checks for every person there and doesn’t know what (if any) screening process the landlord uses. It’s also okay to just plain not care for kids. Plus it would be irresponsible parenting to bring kids into a home with a rotating cast of random adults. It’s a recipe for disaster. ######


Prompt:
Reddit,

I need a sanity check.

I got someone who bought a AIO pc that's obviously not for gaming, they offered me a lower than asking price, by a lot, and I accepted. WCGW (paid 350 from 600 asking if anyone is curious)

its been less than 12 hours since we exchanged and they are now crying for a refund because... you guessed it, it doesn't play video games.

before anyone decides to be a wiseguy, the PC is completely functional and the display is flawless (no dead pixels). They even admitted over text that they don't want it anymore because it doesn't play any games.

its got an i3, 8gb of ram and a 256gb ssd. On one side, I don't want to because there's no way to prove they didn't tamper with it (ad was deleted off letgo as soon as it was handed off so I can't even prove the original specs I sold it with), on another side, I don't really care about buyers remorse.

AITA if I lowkey don't want to refund the person and .... don't? ######

Response:
 NTA - it was up to the buyer to question specs, ability to play game prior to purchase. As long as it was working when you put it out the door, it is no longer your responsibility.

If you want to be nice, you can take it back but you are not obligated. If they don't want it, they can put it back up for sale. ######


Prompt:
I have always been a fairly small guy, and at 5'8 weighed about 125 lbs. I was also fairly weak for a while. My girlfriend often teases me about this (completely jokingly, she means no harm by this at all) as she has been lifting regularly for over a year now, and was definitely stronger than me.

Recently the teasing has been getting more frequent, so just to spite her, I've been using the extra time in quarantine to start lifting with a few dumbbells in the house. It's been a bit over a month and although I'm still below average strength, I've overtaken my girlfriend in the amount of weight we can lift.

I can tell that this slightly upset her and she asked me that now that I've proven my point am I going to stop lifting. The thing is now that I've begun this journey, I actually really enjoy the routine and the process.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm an asshole because I did all of this just to get back at her, and though I did start with that intention, that is no longer my motivation.

AITA for lifting just to make a point and then not stopping? ######

Response: NTA - it was almost an “everyone sucks” because this is all so petty, but she’s gone too far by wanting you to stop now that you’ve found you genuinely like it. Her insecurity is preventing her from supporting you. ######


Prompt:
Ok, soooo the other night I was on my way to meet my girlfriend, he place is a 20 minute walk from mine if I cut through a park near her house, I like the walk especially on warm nights.

Anyway it was kinda late but I told my gf I was heading over and sent her a message as I was walking out the door.

I was 5 minutes into my walk and approaching the park when I noticed a woman walking too, she kept looking back at me I could tell I was making her uncomfortable. She made her way into the park, I knew if I had also “followed” her into the park I’d terrify her. Even though I knew I had no ill intentions, I know I can be intimidating I’m 6’3, and even if I wasn’t I know that a man walking near a woman at night would scare her.

So I decided to walk the long way. When I got to my gfs I explained why I was late, and she told me I should’ve just cut through the park and to have overtaken the woman, and then went on to say “you could’ve kept an eye out for her just in case someone actually bad was in the park” which made me think damn maybe I made the wrong decision. ######

Response: NTA - it was actually considerate of you to do that and your gf can wait a little, if you can help someone feel less anxious ######


Prompt:
My family all says I am being an asshole for this but I think they are just too non confrontational but I will leave it to the internet to decide so here is the story.

Background 9 years ago my cousin got married to his his highschool sweetheart after she graduated community college. They had been living together and my cousin did not go to college as he was supporting her through college. She is accepted into a  school in (no fault state) so off they move. They have a child which He takes care of and works nights to send his wife to school. In her final years she gets a job in her field under one of her professors.  Right after graduation she tells him that she wants a divorce she has been sleeping with her boss/professor for 2 years and now that she is no longer her teacher he is leaving his wife and they are getting married. ending their 7 year marriage. I was not informed of any of this to call her out at the time I was never actually told of the divorce just my parents told me to save the date for same cousins marriage then they told me what went down

So comes our story cousin was having a rough time of it after the divorce but eventually ran into his middle school crush they hit it off. They invite family to second wedding and put an engagement announcement on facebook. Bitch Ex wife sees the announcement and post, "He is such a bad father He did not even ask his child if it was okay for him to get married again how will this affect her?"

so I responded in a PM "Did you ask kidsname if it was okay with them if you cheated on daddy and  slept with your boss then divorce daddy? how do you think that will affect her?"

family is mad when she contacted them. am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - it was a private message so it’s not like you called her out publicly. She is only mad because you stated the truth. ######


Prompt:
Hey guys! This is my first time posting on AITA so please bear with me....

First a bit of context... I was planning on getting married this October but have no idea if that is still going to happen due to the lockdown that's going on

So I (29yo F) was on the phone to my mother this morning discussing plans for a "Virtual Birthday party" for me for next week (basically a group video chat with family) and we got on talking about how because of the quarantine that all my families birthdays have been pretty much cancelled this year.

I really wanted to do something special as it's my 30th but will happily settle with just a call, I suggested that we could set up like a Family birthday party after quarantine to celebrate everyone's birthdays. My mum then responds with "well we will see if we can, maybe we can do a joint birthday call next week as your SILs birthday is 2 days after yours and you were planning to get married this year so we can all just celebrate them at the reception" I was deeply hurt and angry by this as
1. my birthday has always been over shadowed as my SIL is a few days after mine and therefore I've had to have joint parties/gatherings for years, I dont usually mind but this is a big birthday and all my 'big' birthdays have eaither been ruined or shared, and
2. that my wedding day is supposed to be about my hubby and me! I told my mum that in no way, shape or form will I be sharing my wedding reception with birthday celebrations for everyone else, it's my big day, and one that I've been waiting on for years, I wont be upstaged on my wedding day"
She got kind of huffy and said well it's not often all the family is together and that we will "just see what happens" now I love my mother and my SIL dearly but this has really struck a nerve.... but still I cant help wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - it takes some serious balls to tell your own daughter that her wedding isn’t about her. Wow. That isn’t just an asshole thing to say, it’s mega-asshole.

ETA - talk to whoever will be in charge of the mic at the reception. Let them know that if the word birthday or covid is uttered the mic is to be immediately cut off and attention redirected. Make sure the planner, event location management, caterer, or whoever know that all birthday cakes supplied by family are for the staff to consume, preferably immediately, or deposited on the trash. ######


Prompt:
I am 20, living with my parents and at the moment I am the only person in my house working; my parents and younger brother have been staying home. I’ve made it a point to ONLY leave the house if I’m going to work or to do something alone, like go on a walk. We were all tested for COVID on Tuesday and all results came back negative.

The part of the state we are living in has not gone into “Phase 2” yet but it should be happening soon. Part of Phase 2 includes hair salons opening up. I am naturally brunette but have been blonde for the past few years and my hair isn’t looking it’s best but obviously there is much worse shit going on in the world so it’s not a big deal in the slightest.

However, my dad told us today that his friend, who he hasn’t seen in like 2 months, might be coming over tomorrow. My mom and I were obviously like wtf because we’ve all done our best to socially distance and stuff and his friend coming over is a stupid move imo. So, I told him that I’m going to schedule a hair appointment (my hair girl texted me and said she’ll be opening up as soon as phase 2 starts) as soon as I can and my dad started telling me that I’m being stupid, my hair can wait, etc. I told him I could say the same thing about his friend coming over— they haven’t seen each other in 2+ months so they can wait. This all turned into a big disagreement. I don’t see an issue with me going to get my hair done when the governor says it’s okay to do so. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - It seems your dad doesn’t see how bringing his friend over and you getting your hair done is essentially the same. ######


Prompt:
I don't know if this is too small stakes for this sub but it's been an issue in my immediate family and I want to know if I'm in the wrong.

I proposed seven months ago with a $4000 ring. About four months ago I noticed she stopped wearing her engagement ring and I asked her why. She said she didn't want to lose it so she keeps it in a jewellery box hidden away for special occasions. I didn't press further.

I found out a month ago that while this is technically true, she has told me she doesn't know where the jewellery box is. She doesn't have much jewellery so she told me it's literally just a ring box, not one of those bigger fixtures you might think when you think about jewellery boxes. She said she was actively looking for it.

A week ago it got to a heated discussion about the ring where I tell her I'm disappointed she's lost it. She tells me she did not in fact lose it, but misplaced it. To me, that means the same thing. She said she hasn't had time to look for it but knows she didn't lose it (???).

Now I bring it up every day, asking her if she found the ring. The answer is always no. She is getting mad at me and getting her parents to put pressure on me to drop it. She "doesn't want to be reminded of it". If I was in her shoes and I lost literally the most expensive thing I own, I'd be frantically looking for it, not taking this laissez-faire approach. I mean, I wouldn't have lost it anyways: I would have known where it is at any moment on any day. You don't just lose something that's $4000, right? The longer it takes for her to find it, the less likely she's going to find it, right?

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA - it seems like she just doesn't want to discuss it, maybe thinking the problem will just go away if you don't mention it. This is a huge red flag, if she's this careless about a $4,000 ring, what does that say about her? I'd try and set a date where you guys both go over her place to try and find it....hopefully it'll still be there ######


Prompt:
I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.

So I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights  while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.

I'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - it is your right as a cat (and therefore lord and master of the universe) to do as you wish. ######


Prompt:
I know the title sounds absolutely ridiculous and to be honest the situation is actually ridiculous so I’ll try my best to explain.

Me, my sister and her boyfriend are currently renting a house together, we all do our part and we all equally pay the rent.

The house we are renting has a fucking massive backyard.

Well one day, I was sat in the yard drinking my coffee when I had an epiphany.

I want to order a bouncy castle for my 21st birthday in a couple days time.

Yes I’ll be 21 and yes it is incredibly childish of me but god dammit we’re in quarantine and I want to do nothing more than get drunk hop on a bouncy castle and jump to my hearts content.

I am a massive fucking child I know.

I told my sister about the idea and she’s completely against the idea. She told me that it’s  immature and the only person who will get enjoyment out of my birthday will be me and that her and her boyfriend won’t enjoy it

I know for a fact that her boyfriend would love it and she’s a god dam liar.

But every time I look into the garden, all I see is the potential it has to have a wicked bouncy castle in it. My sister also claims that I’ll be embarrassing myself to the neighbours when they look out the window and see a 21 year old girl having the time of her life on a bouncy castle.

Money also isn’t an issue either and we are all thankful to have jobs and I do have the money to spare.

So, will I be the asshole if I go ahead and live my bouncy castle dreams? ######

Response: NTA - it is your birthday, and if she doesn't want to have fun, let her sit in the house and pout like a 5 year old. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend \[29M\] and I \[23F\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place.

Last night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move.

I thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total.

I just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today.

I realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ######

Response: NTA - it doesn’t sound like there was an agreement for you to pay half his rent. I would probably sleep at home from now on if I were you. ######


Prompt:
Just as the title says.

I have a family full of health-nut anti-vaxxers. My cousin in Australia just had a baby and is very vocal about the fact that she is not vaccinating. I am not immuno-compromised but I have many friends who are, and I feel like it's the right thing to do so as to not spread anything to people that I care about. I have my vaccinations, I am at very low risk, and I guess I'm feeling guilty because I am technically safe to meet her baby.  I felt very confident in my decision at first but now the backlash from my family has me second guessing myself. ######

Response: NTA - It doesn't matter that you're safe, you can still be a vector, also i seriously agree to any measure to discourage non-vaxxers, we have to state as loud as we can that this is not an ideology that has any right to be respected and that she's putting a lot of people in danger by doing this. ######


Prompt:
So I recently moved to the UK and I rebound my keyboard dollar sign to £. I’m on mobile now so I can easily type both. I’m from America, and I usually talk to my mom through Facebook on my computer.

Now this is a really stupid argument, which I’ll probably give in to just to keep the peace but anyway. When I was talking to my mom I mentioned I bought a new toaster, and said it was £30. She got mad and said to only use $ when talking to her. I said that my keyboard uses £ now and I use British currency in my everyday life, so why would I use $? She said when I’m talking to her I should use American dollars because I’m talking to an American.

AITA if I keep using £? I probably won’t because it’s my mom but still. This isn’t normal right lol? ######

Response: NTA - it didn't cost $30, it cost £30 which would convert to a different number. ######


Prompt:
I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic

I’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph

My brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices

We got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha

When my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side”

AITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ######

Response: NTA - it always makes me sad to see another story about a child bride, married off before she even got to grow up. ######


Prompt:
I(19F) got a summer job at a caffè that is a part of an insurance and car company. My customers are basically the employees and their customers. All the employees get free drinks and they can treat whoever they want and so can I so yesterday my friend(17F) came by for a cup of coffee. She was sitting at the bar and chatting with me for almost 2 hours and when she left two male coworkers, let's call them Ben and Carl, sat down for a drink and started talking to me.
Ben(36M): Hey Carl, did you see that hot friend of hers that came by?
Carl(40+M): Yeah of course. She's pretty hot. Hey, OP, she's 20, right?
Me: No, Jesus Christ she is younger than me, she's still a minor.
Ben: Damn she has curves for someone her age.
I was disgusted beyond belief. Their conversation continued although they knew she is a minor..
I said to them that they are disgusting pigs because she could be their daughter(ironically, they both have young children). As my 2 female coworkers were sitting at the bar today, Carl also sat down for a drink but he sat down on my seat(that's the only place where I as a waitress can sit).
Me: Sorry but you're in my seat.
Carl: Oh, so you want me to get up?
Me: It's okay, you can stay if u want.
Carl: You know, when I was your age I would rather never sit down than disrespect someone older than me like you just have.
Coworker: Kids today are sadly nothing like we used to be.
I didn't say anything to them but God was I pissed off. You disrespect my MINOR friend, talk about her curves even though she is young enough to be your daughter and after all that you want to be treated with respect?? I don't think I'm the asshole here but apparently my female coworker thinks so. So, redditors, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - inform HR or their superior. The fact they would openly talk about this is in front of you is disturbing and crosses boundaries and shows a fundamental lack of knowledge of what appropriate behavior is. For your safety, your friends safety and any other unsuspecting children or women who might cross their paths please report them. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids.

Our property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever.

Our new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares.

However, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that.

When we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.

When they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - in Texas there is the law of adverse possession.  (Essentially squatters rights) so you did what you needed done to protect your investment. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I just heard from our agent that we received a full price offer on our house within a week of listing.

What should be a happy occasion turned out to be a fight....

We’ve been working furiously to get the house in proper order to ensure a quick/full price sale. We’ve spent nearly $5k on painting, cleaning and upgrades.

Our to do list didn’t get finished by the time we went on the market, and there are a few detail jobs still left to be done. However, that didn’t prevent us from listing, and getting a full price offer quickly.

We were basking in the glow of this news tonight, when my wife told me that she still wanted to get the last few projects done to ‘clear my conscience’. I told her that I thought that was a waste of time, and that we’d already spent enough time/money/effort to get the result we ultimately wanted, which was a quick sale.

Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend more time, money, and effort when we’ve already achieved our goal? ######

Response: NTA - in fact, you would be the asshole if you went ahead with the projects unless it is something that is structurally wrong with the house.  For example - new countertops.  You could invest and put in the nicest (to your eye) countertops replacing the ones the buyer saw.  The buyer could then not like your taste and walk out of your deal.  I mean - perhaps they love the green Formica 1960s countertops! Or, perhaps they are going to upgrade your house when they purchase to their taste and have factored that into the price.  Don’t do anything further unless your house is literally broken and you cannot avoid it.  Even then, they will find this stuff in the inspection and you should negotiate the price for them to do it to their taste. ######


Prompt:
My mom and I had a pretty rocky relationship while I was growing up, but the past 5 years or so has been great and we talk on the phone almost every day.

Yesterday at 4 I called her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and she was short with me from the beginning. I asked her how she was and she admitted she was sad that she spent all day waiting for me to call. I explained that I had been busy, and I was worried earlier when I had free time that she would be sleeping. I spent about 5 minutes trying to talk with her, but she just kept giving me one word answers or not responding at all. At the very end when I gave up and asked to speak to my dad, she gave me a sarcastic "Oh, of course you want to talk to dad."

I thought things would be okay with a little time, but late last night I realized that I never updated my relationship status on Facebook. I didn't make a big post. I just changed the status, and even though it's viewable to friends, it's not showing up on everyone's timeline so it has gotten minimal attention. We've been married for months (a small ceremony with just us, our pastor, and the couple that mentored us) and all our close family and friends already know, but it's news to old high school and college friends, for example.

I woke up this morning to multiple messages from my mom written in the middle of the night about how could I be so hurtful, why do I have time for Facebook but not her, why couldn't I send her a card or a gift or do something special for one day, why did Mother's Day have to be the day I made the big announcement, etc.. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - If your mom didn’t already know you were married and that’s how she found out? Sure she could be upset. But the way it really went down is no big deal. Your mom is being a drama queen. ######


Prompt:
My gf went through a rough patch which involved some heavy drugs a few years back. When we got back together she promised to attend these AA/NA meetings at our church and go to therapy. Part of the therapy involved drug testing every 6 months. Well she stopped therapy awhile ago and has been unofficially living with me.

Today she sat me down and asked if she could move in. I said yes but on the condition she goes through a drug test. She completely went mad when she heard this. Saying that I'm an asshole for no trusting her and what nots. I get that she's trying to clean things up and she's been clean for a year but it's just a precaution.

Aita? ######

Response: NTA - If your GF was actually still in recovery, the thought of taking another drug test wouldn't phase her. She is using again and probably needs a new place to stay. ######