Prompt:
Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention.

Except this intervention was for his "gaming addiction". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence.

My teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time.

I then went and broke up their "intervention" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down.

I said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######

Response:
 NTA

Good for your daughter that her mom is sensitive enough and cares about her feelings. ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker, let’s call him John (28m), who has very “old fashioned” ideas about gender roles.

Today I overheard him going on and on to another coworker, let’s call her Sylvia (22f), about how her boyfriend isn’t a “real man” because he wasn’t a great conversationalist. Sylvia tries to explain that her boyfriend just isn’t very social, and he doesn’t really like social events (where everyone met). John ignores her and keeps saying that he was acting like a shy little kid, and he has a lot of growing up to do before he becomes a “real man”. Sylvia checked out of the conversation and let John go on his little rant. All og a sudden, John starts talking about it is women’s fault for men acting like children. He goes on to explain that “all women are unable to control their maternal instict”, which makes them reward immature boys with relationships so that the women have something to mother. I left the room at that point. It was too much for me to have to listen to.

Another coworker (31f) who overheard it brought up how it made her uncomfortable. I agreed, and said I was thinking of bringing it up with HR since this isn’t the first time John has been spouting this sort of stuff. My coworker told me that I would be a huge jerk if I told HR, and while it made her uncomfortable she realizes John isn’t from here (he grew up in Romania) so she manages to “get over herself”. She told me I could tuin his career, and that doing so just because his views are different is messed up. I still have a huge problem with the way he talks about gender roles, but now I’m second guessing if I should go to HR.

WIBTA if I went to HR about it? ######

Response:
 NTA

Going to HR now is probably doing him a favor.  There's nothing overtly sexual there so this should probably just warrant a little wake up call from HR and not have any serious impact on his career.  Hopefully this will help him learn the social norms for whatever country you're in.

If you wait until there's something actionable, he may very well get fired.

The only reason I'm not going the other direction is because of the 'All women can't control' part of this. ######


Prompt: My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed  with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ######

Response:
 NTA

Going the speed limit is the responsibility of the driver. If they choose to speed then they have to accept the possible consequences. Only way I could see you being an AH is if you all urged the driver to speed and agreed to pool in if they get a ticket. ######


Prompt:
So I (19f) have been at my moms home for going on 3 months now. She(43f) has 2 younger children J(6m) and K(5f) who im here with 24/7. Her bf works in the oilfield gone 2 weeks and in 2 weeks. Before he left out, him and my mom told the children if they feel I'm being unfair to them that they need to immediately come see my mom or the bf. They listened to me fairly decently as and 6 and 5 yr old would up until that point. Now the kids ignore me completely. And if they actually hear what I say they immediately pull that unfair crap. And if i get upset about any of it my mom gets mad at me. I blew up a few mins ago because K decided to crush up a Nutty Buddy all over the floor and then hide it. Then ignored me when I called her down numerous times to come clean it. My mom walked back in the house and yelled at me for being upset over it. They gave the kids an excuse to completely disrespect me and not listen to me whatsoever. And now the kids are telling me they only listen to their momma and daddy. And that I need to go home because they don't need or want me.
Edit: was just told by J that if I die he won't even cry because im not important to him.
Also I raised J until he was 4. And K until she was 3. From the moment they got home from the hospital. ######

Response:
 NTA

Go home. It sounds like you’re here doing them a favor. The kids won’t listen. The adults don’t stand up for you or appreciate it. Don’t put up with this. Leave. ######


Prompt:
My father went to prison two years ago for a crime I don't feel comfortable saying, but it really disturbed me. It completely ruined my trust in him, considering how close we were beforehand. It also really tore apart my family, leaving us with half of our usual income, rumours in our small town etc. It really wasn't easy.

He's been out for about two months, and has texted me multiple times, and I've never answered. I found out he's meeting up with my older sister next week, and he invited me to come. I turned it down. I have no problem with my sister going, because she's her own person and can do what she wants. However, my mom is treating me like a bad person for not wanting to have a relationship with him right now. On one hand, I feel bad for completely disowning my father, and on the other, I can't forgive him for what he did.

so, AITA for not wanting to see him right now? ######

Response:
 NTA

Given we don’t know the nature of his crime I cannot possible call you Y T A so I’ll stick with my initial thought that you should only have contact with him when you’re ready.

That being said, I hope you go see a counselor or therapist so you can explore if you will ever want to have a relationship with him and making sure you’re on the right mindset for it. Once again since we don’t know if it was a violent or sexual crime then it’s really at your discretion but do see a counselor.

Hang in there buddy. ######


Prompt:
I'll try and keep it as brief as I can. I own my house, and have a tandem driveway with a rental house. The owner is an older lady who inherited the house when her mom died (she's about 75 and lives downtown). For the past 10 years, a new tenant moves in, I become friends with them, and then they leave because the landlord won't do anything to fix the house. She also won't allow anyone to pay for improvements (example: they wanted to rip up and replace the moldy carpet in the bathroom and she wouldn't let them). There's termite damage, water in the basement, and all of the locks are broken. The house is falling apart and hasn't had a single improvement for at least 60 years. I hate the rotating door of tenants that are moving in, getting fed up, and moving out. The latest tenant just told me they're moving (ill miss them!)... and I want to report the house for code violations after they leave.

The landlord hasn't registered the house as a rental, and never gives them their security deposit back... even when the tenants try and fix the house as much as they can. I hate this rotating door of new neighbors. SO. I want to report all of the code violations to the city, knowing full well that the owner doesn't have the money to fix them.  I'll be honest--- I want the city to tear down the house, buy the lot and start a neighborhood garden.

AITA for reporting the house and creating a hardship on an older lady on a very fixed income? ######

Response:
 NTA

Given everything you've said about how she is scamming tenants I kinda think you'd be the asshole if you didn't report her. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

For my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good.

Soon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it.

Honestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Get back at them with "why would you wish that upon my grandmother? I'm clearly such an awful chef that she deserves a better cake than mine. It's really cruel of you to want her to suffer through such a horrible present yet again" ######


Prompt:
Background: me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in a couple of days and we had a move in scheduled for tomorrow, we already had a moving van scheduled and our bed and sofa delivery timed to come before our wedding so we can sort out the house out and move in on our wedding day.

I received a suspicious email this morning saying our tenancy agreement has been voided, I called up and asked why and they said it was a error. They later called me ten mins later and informed me that we can’t collect the keys tomorrow , she told me straight that the flooring is undone the toilet hasn’t been fitted and the inspector said that the sink is in the middle of the kitchen floor.

When they  told me that it clicked as to why they voided our contract, I’m a law student so I know they have breached their contract as they are unable to fulfill their promise, I told them they was trying to save their ass by deleting our contract off the server and they are in fact legally liable to reimburse us for the expenses we have incurred (moving van and furniture delivery), she told me there is a property available immediately on a different development however the rent is more expensive.

I got a pretty good grade in my contract law exam so when she told me they aren’t liable to reimburse me I told them they’re liable to my partner since he signed it the fact I didn’t doesn’t exclude the fact they are contractually liable to my fiancé. Also if they can’t honour our contract they need to give us the slightly more expensive property for the same price we agreed to our initial one.

Anyways they point blank said no and they will get the property ready for next week.  I said if they don’t get it ready for by Monday latest I will sue them and I know I have solid ground? AITA for throwing the book at them and threatening. This is the 2nd time they’ve pushed back out move date. ######

Response:
 NTA

Get a lawyer (3rd party can keep calm) and sue the crap out them!

No further contact except through your lawyer. ######


Prompt: This story happened a few months ago but it still bugs me to this day, I need opinions. So I (22M) was taking the subway back home after a long day at work. Its a long ride I get on at the start of the line and off at the end. I found a seat thankfully and decided to get some sleep. About a third of the way in I was awoken by a pregnant lady and her friend asking me to move. There was a seat next to me empty that her friend sat in, and they obviously expected me to give up my seat so they could sit together. I refused saying that her friend can stand so she can take her seat. Obviously this upset them and they started shouting at me saying I was a sexist toxic person. Everyone on the train gave me disgusted looks, I defended myself but everyone seemed to have already taken a stand. Anyway I refused to move, and eventually a seat freed up and the pregnant lady sat down. I got disgusted looks for the whole journey and the friend was still shouting at me. I started to believe I must have misread the situation, the friend of the pregnant women was quite chubby so maybe she was pregnant and it wasn't visible. I asked her "are you pregnant, in which case I'm sorry". She went all red and got even more angry saying I was also fat phobic, I was a disgusting person, she got off at the next stop with the pregnant women with her. Turns out she wasn't pregnant. The rest of the ride was interesting and I couldn't sleep after that as people were looking at me like I'd murdered a puppy. I need to clear my mind and see if I was an asshole here, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Generally, if a pregnant or disabled person needs a seat, you give them a seat. But her friend took the free seat and expected you to wake up and stand?? Ffs. SHE should've let her pregnant friend sit instead of harassing a stranger on the bus.

Asking if the friend was pregnant is probably not the most tactful thing, but honestly she was being rude bc you were calling out her hypocrisy, so IDC.

NTA in this case

Edit:typo ######


Prompt:
My older sister has just moved back after living away for years, so we are finally all living close together. At a dinner with my mother and younger sister tonight, I mentioned we wanted to do a 'sister dinner' for some bonding time. It's not really something we've ever had a chance to do in the past.

My mother was incredibly offended that we were 'excluding her' and said it was rude. Then sulked away, left the table and sent us a message from another room "how would you feel if you were the one left out? For each of you there is a descriptor for why you don’t belong."

Honestly I think her message is unnecessarily savage and I honestly wouldn't mind if she took my other sisters out for dinner, but AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Geeze, your mother needs to take a chill pill!

I assume there are / were times when she went out with your father and didn't include you two? Talk about 'entitled'... ######


Prompt:
I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know.

I've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried.

Once I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.

I kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her "I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.

My mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######

Response:
 NTA

For the most part conviction details are matters of public record unless they've been expunged. If everyone knew but you, seems messed up wouldn't tell you and you had to go search for yourself.

Why would he did affect your career? I don't understand that part. ######


Prompt:
Background info:
I have a full-time job, but I also do crochet work on the side for extra money. I take requests and ask for money up front so in case they back out or I can't get in contact with them, I didn't just waste time and material.

Back in December, my best friend asked me to make him a Sasuke doll from Naruto for a friend of his for her present. Since he's my best friend, I told him he could pay me later.

A couple of months went by and he never paid me. His excuse was "I haven't given it to her yet." I told him it didn't matter because I made the doll and wanted my payment.

A few weeks ago, I got a request to make both Naruto and Sasuke. I told my friend to give me back the doll since he clearly wasn't going to pay me and he wasn't going to give it to the other person.

After he gave it back, it was nowhere near in the condition I had given it to him. He left the doll by the window for who knows how long and it got sun bleached pretty badly. I spent roughly 6-9 hours making the doll (I've only been crocheting for about a year, so it still takes me a while). I was upset and told him off for not respecting my work or taking what I do seriously. I told him to never even ask for anything because after seeing what he does to my work, I don't want to put in the hours to see it ruined.

Did I overreact because I take my work too seriously? ######

Response:
 NTA

For that particular transaction, his role wasn't your friend, but your client. You were a professional offering a service that was requested and should have been paid for. You're right that it's irrelevant that he didn't give the gift to its intended recipient; that part should be completely divorced from you being paid for the work you did.

Now that you've seen how he treats the things you craft, you're well within your rights to refuse to make anything further for him. As the person who's making the things, you really have the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. Nobody can mandate that you make something for them, and your reasons are inviolable.

At the end of the day, you do this for extra money, not charity. If you're not getting the money and you know your work isn't going to be appreciated anyway, why spend the time and resources?

I will say this: if you do work for friends again in the future, no matter how good a friend they are, I advise that you don't let them "pay later" and make sure you invoice them as you would any other client. There is nobody worse for getting freelance work payments than your friends. ######


Prompt:
I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.

Personally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list.

And, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.

I have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

For me, the biggest difference here is your parents made a decision to have a child, the child is not involved in that decision at all, in any capacity. Your Father was doing what society expect of him as a parent. ######


Prompt:
First-time poster, long-time lurker.
For some context, I have a Dog and Two Cats, all of whom I love, and about a year ago, I started dating this woman who knew about my pets and how devoted I am to them beforehand. When this all started, we decided to isolate together, since we both work from home. This happened about five days ago.

My Girlfriend asked me to sit down so we could have a talk. I obliged, thinking the worst, and listened as she proceeded to launch into a rant about how she couldn't take living with animals anymore. The litter box smelled, the dog food smelled, the animals were annoying, ect. Everything under the sun was apparently a problem of epic proportions, and she couldn't handle having to live with them any longer.

At first, I thought she wanted to go back to her own house, but I was deadly mistaken. Instead, she told me that I had to make a choice - I could either have her and get rid of the animals, or never see her again and keep the pets.

I chose the pets. She left shortly afterwards.

Was I a jerk to choose them over her? Could we have worked something out? Her sister called a while later and called me an a##hole, and I just want opinions that are unbiased. ######

Response:
 NTA

Firstly, THANK YOU OP for not abandoning your pets. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you for that. Your cats and dogs love you and look up to you and they don't need a negative person like your ex.

Honestly, what did she expect?? I understand that everything might have been getting to her but asking you to choose is just absurd. I don't think you could have made this work. Since she's asked once, she would ask you to abandon your pets again in the future. It's better for both parties that you guys split up. ######


Prompt:
So I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.

One of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.

I said that sucked.

This one girl Talia spoke up and said

“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”

So people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office.

Talia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.

To be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.

Talia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60.

One of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.

A different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######

Response:
 NTA

First, HER fault for waiting until the last second to try to pay a fee that had most likely been there for awhile that she probably just forgot about.
Second, you weren’t even close friends. Third, $60 can be a lot of money. Fourth, if all your friends go to the same school why didn’t she ask them as well? You could have each given her $10? Fifth, if you’re the only person she asked, she obviously didn’t try very hard to get the money. And if she DID ask others, then it wouldn’t be just your fault that she didn’t walk at graduation. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been asking my boyfriend for over a week to please, please check out my car. He knows what he’s doing, has worked on every truck he’s ever had, and I’m a clueless idiot who is very likely about to not have a job for a while due to everything going on, so I can’t afford to take it someone even if I did find somewhere open. It feels very strange when I drive it, is only getting worse. There’s been times where it has honestly felt like it’s going to straight up fall apart on the interstate and I have to drive extra slow. It terrifies me. My tires aren’t that old, so it can’t be that. My boyfriend is getting paid time off right now so isn’t working or doing anything besides playing video games so I’ve asked him to look at it and he just won’t. He says there’s probably nothing wrong and I’m being dramatic. I have to drive an hour to work every day and I don’t leave until dark, so I have a fear of ended up on the side of the road at midnight by myself.

After a week of being frustrated I decided to take my car to the only other person I know who knows things about vehicles, my ex who I’m still friendly with. It wasn’t a big deal, I texted him and asked if he was busy and I needed an opinion on my car, he said sure bring it around, stayed there for about 30 minutes and that’s it. My boyfriend absolutely flipped out when he found out today. Said I disrespected him, disrespected our relationship, I’m in the wrong, I “broke his trust” when all I literally wanted is to make sure my car is safe to drive ######

Response:
 NTA

First off, assuming there isn’t some strange and sordid history, it is generally fine to be friendly with an ex. If your current bf can’t deal with it then he has a stupid jealousy issue.

Also, he has zero reason to not look at your car and is being a douche to not do so.

You did nothing wrong, your bf is a dick, and he owes you an apology. ######


Prompt:
So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said "yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said "go ahead I don't give a fuck" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)
at which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######

Response:
 NTA

First of all, you dad is super weird for watching videos of girls twerking at the dinner table

Second of all, he literally asked for it (you watching "literal porn" at the table) ######


Prompt: I'm 15 male and my sister(21F) and I(15M) decided to die my hair bleach blond today. My siblings hairs are blond because they are blood related to my parents and my dad has diry blond hair and my mom has just straight up blond hair but I'm Korean they adopted me from Korea when I was 5. I have recently been feeling a disconnect from my family and kind of feeling like the odd one out. When I told my sister(21F) this we decided to dye my hair not because it will help me look like that cuase there is no way I can look white but to just help me feel better about myself she dyes her hair different colors and she said after she dyes her hair she feels refreshed and able to do anything she wants it give her confidence which is something I'm lacking right now. We were originally going to dye my hair blue but we just went for bleach blond. Well we did it and when my mom saw she freaked out on me and my sister. She told me I ruined my hair and blamed my sister for giving me the idea. We didnt think I needed permission to die my hair at 15 years old. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Explain to your mother what the underlying motive was behind dying your blond if you haven't already done so. Hopefully, she'll calm down and be more empathetic to your situation. Also, you did not need her permission to color your hair - your sister is an adult and was onboard with the decision. In the end it's just hair, it'll grow out and it's not "ruined". ######


Prompt:
My sister unfortunately passed away suddenly recently and there will be a funeral soon. Unfortunately, though, because of the Rona situation, the EU commission decided to ban Americans and later most of hte world from entering the EU unless they have valid business or diplomatic reasons to be here. Mostly its some sort of visa or residence permit and at the moment my visa is expired, and  I am in the process of trying to get a residence permit. I live and study in Poland.

Almost all of my family is fucking pissed i wont go back to the US for the funeral but I cant. If i leave, I cannot reenter hte EU. I have explained this concept so many times to some of these thickskulled dumbasses who still don't understand. Others are saying I'm selfish for this. If i can't reenter the EU i can't continue my studies here.

I've suggested of other things i could do, i could skype or watch a live stream of the funeral or something, i want to go but i can't. I had a massive argument with some of my relatvies after explainign this the 5th time to him and i ended up cursing him out. ######

Response:
 NTA

Everyone is broken and grieving and so they’re being unreasonable right now. You’re sad too.

Funerals are more for the living. Ask a sympathetic family member to help you with the streaming so you can see it. Perhaps ask a friend to turn up in your place to offer comfort to your parents.

I am so, so sorry ######


Prompt: So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######

Response:
 NTA

Everyone had the same chance you did to collect the material. It’s not your fault you took this test more seriously than they did. Now that the day is coming up they’re worried about it.

You are not obligated to share with anyone you don’t want to. But have a discussion with your friends and make sure they aren’t giving it out either. ######


Prompt: I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Especially since you offered alternatives. You can meet your friends for a walk while keeping your distance and staying outside.

Plus: even if you were a little unreasonable (which I feel, you aren't) first time mums get a free pass on this one. You want to protect your little one, which you just carried around in your body for nearly one year, I think that can be scary enough for some, let alone during a pandemic. ######


Prompt:
Fiancée has had an eating disorder for a looooong time (more than half her life) but recovered and has been doing amazing for about a year now. This is the longest she has ever been okay for.

Recently she’s been falling into old behaviours and started eating less. A lot less. She’ll fill her bowl 3/4 of the way and leave about half of her food untouched.

She’s drinking a lot of sugar free sodas and energy drinks because they make her feel full and keeps the hunger away.

She doesn’t want to eat after 7pm which is an old resurfaced behaviour as we usually have dinner around 8pm.

Yesterday she admitted she was starving at around 10pm but didn’t want to eat because it was after 7pm.

One of her accounts is one I set up and connected to an email we both have access to as she doesn’t have access to her old accounts and asked me to set it up. I think she’s forgotten by now about the connection because this morning I got an email saying “congratulations on your new weight goal” from a fitness app.

The “goal” would put her BMI at around around 16 which is obviously very low but not critical. Not yet.

She has a habit of falling and falling hard because then she reached that and she’s technically fine so wants to go lower and lower and lower.

Last relapsed ended her in the ICU.

We have an agreement that I don’t comment on her food because it makes her worse and worsens her relationship with food.

She made me promise that if she ever reaches a very specific weight to call professionals in to help her.

Would I be the asshole for actually doing that if she gets to that weight? I can monitor her weight which she agreed on when we set it up but I believe she has since forgotten about. ######

Response:
 NTA

Eating disorders are notorious for relapses and so so hard to treat.

BMI of 16 is VERY LOW. (We admit patient to mandatory hospital stay in critical care with a BMI of 15.) You need to get help for her ASAP. Do not wait until she gets to that weight. You know that she is on the downwards spiral right now.  I'm sorry you both are on such a tough road. ######


Prompt:
I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc...

At 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.

AITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######

Response:
 NTA

Eat the dinner you made and let your wife do what she wants.

But I have to tell you, if I spent the whole day cooking and my partner turned it down to spare her parent’s feelings and sacrificed mine?  I wouldn’t cook for them again for a while. ######


Prompt:
I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.

Last year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.

He has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or /he/ would cut me off for his own health.

I do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA

DONT fight HIS battles and cut your own throat. Let him go. You’ve been finding him at your own expense and that’s not enough?

Focus on your life and your future and your relationship with your parents.

He threatens to cut you loose?  Let him.  Be prepared for him to let your parents know youve been helping him with their money. He doesn’t care about you - you’re a tool to get even with HIS parents.

Step back- It’s his hill to die on not yours ######


Prompt: I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is "because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part." I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######

Response:
 NTA

Don’t have kids if you don’t want them and aren’t prepared for the responsibility they require and deserve. ######


Prompt:
Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.

 Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there.

Then, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######

Response:
 NTA

Don't think it would be physically possible to drink enough water to alter the bill.

Compromise - keep drinking as much water as you are now, but don't flush the toilet after use. See if he prefers that :) ######


Prompt:
New account for privacy.

I (39F) have been with my boyfriend (40M) for a little over two years. Recently, I have come into a significant amount of money that would allow me to quit my day job and pursue my dream career, or if saved and invested carefully, retire fully. I haven’t disclosed this information to my boyfriend.

I love him, and he says he loves me. Toward the beginning of our relationship, there was a lot of discussion about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. Both of us are divorced and this would be a second marriage for us.

My issue is that his ex-wife and him are still very friendly. They share no children but communicate daily and even have platonic lunches and dinners together. When asked about this, he stated that there will be a part of him that always cares for her and that he needs to be there for her because she doesn’t have anyone else, especially now during the pandemic. I am trying to be understanding about this.

I haven’t told him about my recent windfall because I don’t want him to feel pressure to cut her out of his life and choose me because of the money. I also don’t want to feel obligated to help his ex financially because they are still close friends (which could be a possible conversation that comes up). I do want him, and there’s no one I’d rather share this good fortune with. Everything else in our relationship is going well, and I do feel he could be the one.

He is in a very good job that he can support himself with, although he doesn’t at all enjoy his work. I could offer him a way out of it and I feel guilty about keeping this from him. At the same time, I would like to know how he sees us moving forward before I tell him about the money. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Don't share this information.  Money changes everything.  I don't think that 2 years is long enough to establish the kind of trust required to lay this economic windfall on him...or anyone else.

Keep this between you and your lawyer and/or your financial advisor (and never give either any power of attorney!)   You have to become used to having this money all on your own, quietly and personally.  Don't make any big decisions for at least a year.  Keep it to yourself and think, fantasize, consider all the implications of all your future choices.  Until you are on firm ground with what this money could mean, stay quiet about it. ######


Prompt:
Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.

My ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.

I invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him.

The party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex.

My ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

I’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home.

I spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

It felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

Don't invite an ex to a birthday party as a friend unless you've spent at least one birthday without them. ######


Prompt:
So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story.

I tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?

Since people keep asking here is Honey
My baby! https://imgur.com/gallery/bn8300N ######

Response:
 NTA

Dogs don't have names for themselves, they have names for us, and if Honey works better than Peanut, then that's her name.

Both are super cute dog names, though. ######


Prompt:
Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles.

Yesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.

AITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ######

Response:
 NTA

doesn’t it *suck* when everyone can understand what’s going on?

Anyway I’m deaf. I quite clearly remember when I was at a friends house watching a movie...friend knew I needed the subtitles and had grown to like them too.  He ends up having to defend the use of subtitles because someone’s girlfriend was annoyed because “it ruins all the jokes”. I ended up just saying “I’m deaf. I can’t watch without them.” ######


Prompt:
For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it.

Now, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her keys to my new place, which she kept referring to as her apartment. I folded then, and regretted that choice when she kept showing up unannounced while i was at uni.

As for my new place, she has already threatened to “throw me out” and “get herself a new tenant” if she ever comes in to find dishes in the sink. I never claimed to be the most tidy person, but that didn’t sit well with me. What right does she have to throw me out of a condo I own? My name is in the register, no one else’s. I don’t want her to gaslight me into folding again, but she is adamant it is “her” apartment and that she is “technically the owner” as she birthed and raised me. I love my mom, but I’m terrified.

When I said I wouldn’t give her any keys to the place, she lost her shit. Calling me ungrateful, that it was HER apartment, that I had no right to keep her out of it. I still feel like this is my property, and my name on the loan, but I’m also terrified of cutting her off because I know she will ruin my life as she sees fit. She once called the police to do a wellness check on me because i was in the tub and didn’t respond to her messages quickly enough.

So, Reddit — WIBTA for not giving my mom keys to my new place ? ######

Response:
 NTA

Do not under any circumstances give her keys.

If there are any codes of any sort needed to get into your community, do not give them to her.

Add an alarm system to your condo, if it doesn’t already have one.

This is NOT her apartment.

I’d be tempted to call someone - lawyer? Police? idk - to ask if there is some sort of preemptive reporting you can do. ######


Prompt:
My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.

This has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.

Fast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.

Because of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!

TL; DR
My grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######

Response:
 NTA

DO NOT CUT UP THAT PRECIOUS BLANKET ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago but I’m still hearing about it in the family group chat.

Couple months ago my sister in law found out she was pregnant and her views on pregnancy and motherhood (as well as other things) are really strange, at least to me. For instance, the shape of a belly (mild) and how boys and girls should be raised (stereotypes all around). Then as her pregnancy progressed she made her views on birthing very clear: anyone who has a c-section is not fit to be a mother.

I was very confused because I was born via c-section and so was my oldest. I asked her why does she think so, she said that it was the easy way out and a mother should feel the pain for her baby, be one with the baby, and all that. My partner (their sibling) reminded her that I went through a c-section and SIL said, “well, my point still stands, doesn’t it? No offense (my name) but you are a bit absent in your oldest’s life. Is your career really that worth it?”

Me not being a stay at home mom has been a bit of a heated argument with this family for a while. My mil and a couple of the other sister/brother (it’s a big family) in laws haven’t been okay with it. My partner has no issue with it and either do some of the other in laws, and now she’s brought it up again!

So I told her the truth about her pregnancy: she doesn’t know who the father is. She keeps seeing her ex despite being with her current boyfriend of about 2 years. There’s not special about either one of them but she claims that she “just can’t quit him,” the other guy. Honestly wanted to barf.

She got super angry with me and threw a wooden spoon at me. She then stormed out and I got the brunt of it from the others. It’s still happening in the group chat and my father in law is asking if I could just apologize and get it over with since her due date is happening soon. I’m not that interested in apologizing but if you guys think I am I’ll do it. It’s much better to hear about it from a non family member ######

Response:
 NTA

Do not apologise to her, you told her the truth.

Considering how she likes to vocalise her truths about everyone else, it's only right she hears a few about herself. ######


Prompt: My (16f) sister (22f) keeps taking my clothes and wearing them in front of my friends. This wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t BRAND NEW outfits. That makes it so that when I go to wear the clothes everyone thinks I’m wearing HER clothes. I ended up going to my parents for help because no matter how I react she will not stop raiding my wardrobe. She is constantly telling me all the things she does for me (rides to school, dance class etc.) but I do chores to scrounge together the money to buy decent clothes I like, she has a full time job, doesn’t pay rent and can go buy the clothes SHE wants. I don’t see why she should be entitled to my wardrobe especially when I do all my own shopping. Am I the asshole for involving our parents/ not letting her wear my clothes? ######

Response:
 NTA

did your parents help? usually in posts like this the parents tell you to share with siblings and family first and all that bs

but also stop taking favors from her. she thinks you owe her and is taking matters into her own hands to collect her favor debt. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.

My living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.

My neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.

Apparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were "flying free" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.

I told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Did you warn her that being a peeping tom is illegal? ######


Prompt:
One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?

Edit 1:
For those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.

Edit 2: Typo ######

Response:
 NTA

Depending on how “not supportive” his parents are however, please keep in mind the repercussions that could arise (for him) if his parents find out.  If they are the type of trash that would throw their son out if they find out he’s wearing eyeliner and nail polish, please please help him to find ways to safely experiment and express himself, without risking them finding out.  Telling someone they have to suppress who they are, or finding out who they are, as a teenager just to maintain a roof over their head really, really sucks... but unfortunately, in many cases (the ones where it’s not actively physically or mentally abusive) it’s better than the alternative of being homeless at 15 or 16.

Eyeliner is easy, you keep it at your home and he uses it only when he’s with you / around people that it’s safe with.  It’s easy to remove so no worries there.  For nail polish, with traditional stuff it’s harder to hide.  If hiding it is necessary (and you don’t already have some), look up peel off base coats.  Makes removing nail polish super easy and fast (i.e. his parents show up where you guys are hanging, he can quickly run to the bathroom and remove eyeliner and pop off nail polish without taking so long they get suspicious that he wasn’t just using the bathroom when they arrived.)

Thanks for being his support system when he needs it most!  So many kids in sucky situations don't have that.

Edit: Typo ######


Prompt:
I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with.

Someone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day.

((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))

AITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######

Response:
 NTA

Definitely not. They’re the major asshole for trying to put a turtle in such a small tanks. Good for you for sticking up for something with no voice! ######


Prompt: I (22M) fought multiple times with my highschool friend (23F) because of her disapproval of ‘the homosexual lifestyle.’ I want this time to be the last, because after years of explaining, she still doesn't seem to want to understand. (We are from and live in North Africa.) She often tells me about the guys she likes, but when I do the same, she says she doesn't want to hear about it. This last time was triggered by an IG story where she says she does not support the LGBT community. I sent her a message saying that I, too, do not support some thoughts and practices (like genital mutilation, imposed religious conformity, and far-right political parties) because they put some people in danger. I contrasted with that what she says is used to put the lives of many people in danger, and often leads to fatalities. She answered saying that she doesn't accept my homosexuality and I don't accept her homophobia. Her reasoning looks flawed to me. Am I the asshole here ? ######

Response:
 NTA

Culture aside, that she can somehow bifurcate "Your homosexuality" from you is...weird.  You are who you are, and coincidentally you are gay.  They are one in the same.  That she apparently approves of you and your friendship with her yet disapproves of an essential part of your being is..weird.  And , would reasonably make it intolerable.. ######


Prompt:
I (33/f) was recently dating a guy (29/m) and spending a lot of time at his house. He lives with his brother (33/m) and his brother's girlfriend, K, (28/f) was there quite often.  She and I had quite a bit in common; the biggest thing being we are both in long term recovery from substance abuse ( I go to NA and she goes to AA).  We found each other and Facebook and had quite a few mutual friends. Over the past few months we've gotten really close and I like this woman a lot.

Well, my ex has been struggling with depression and insecurities and broke up with me on Saturday (which just so happened to be my birthday).  I am not sure if we are getting back together or even if I'm interested in getting back together with him at this point. I'm still very much in my feelings about the break up.

Regardless of my feelings towards my ex, I'd like to remain friends with K.  We shared a lot of silly things such as a shared sense of humor, similar style, vaping, and media taste. The biggest thing however was our recovery. Because of the pandemic in person meetings have been cancelled and we now do meetings over Zoom. So she is the only person in recovery that I've seen since early March and the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled. This is in our literature, but I've found it especially true in my life.

I'd like to message her on Facebook and let her know that even though my ex and I are no longer together I'd like to remain friends. Possibly get coffee or hit meetings together when we are able to. I have no plans to say anything disparaging about my ex, because I do think he's a good person and care about him, but that doesn't mean things will work out between us.

I do see where this could make things awkward for a lot of parties involved and wonder if I reach out wibta? ######

Response:
 NTA

Could it get awkward? Sure. But nothing that would make you an A.

For the time being, don't do anything with her and the brother. Also, don't take it personally if she doesn't agree. Respect her boundaries. ######


Prompt:
My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.

Recently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.

I replied with " I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Could ALMOST be an r/murderedbywords ######


Prompt:
I attend a university where community building & bonding is extremely important. Everyone is family in a sense and we just love to have fun and help each other out. We have a ton of orgs on campus, and each org has a GroupMe account, so does most classes as students use them to share answers, asks questions and just talk. These GroupMe’s are also used to wish each other good luck, happy holidays and to campaign for on campus elections. For example, when I pledged my sorority I had several people in my GM chats congratulate me even though we’re not necessarily friends. It’s also not normal for people to wish each other a happy holiday. (Happy founders day, happy thanksgiving, happy St. Patty’s day and so forth)

Well, this past Easter we had an issue where a Muslim student was really upset that people in her GroupMe chats had been wishing each other a happy Easter. She said it was extremely disrespectful to her and her religion and that she would leave each and every chat she was in because of it. Then she went on Instagram to further say that anyone who wished a happy Easter in a chat that she was in was disrespectful and should’ve known better. I was confused because while I am Christian I come from a dominantly Islamic family and I had never heard from any of them even the elders that something like this was an issue. She claims that she doesn’t go in her chat wishing a happy Ramadan or other Muslim holidays so we shouldn’t be wishing each other a happy Easter as it was a slap in the face for her. I really just don’t see it that way though. I know that no one would blink an eye if she was to say happy Ramadan or some other Muslim holiday. I wasn’t upset, just more annoyed with the social media and GroupMe tirade she went on.

AITA for not seeing an issue with wishing people a happy Easter on GroupMe? ######

Response:
 NTA

Coming from an Atheist, I do not see the problem with wishing people a happy easter as presumably a large amount of people in your country observe that holiday, whether that be for religious or non-religious reasons. She is in the minority in this case, but no one is attacking her or preventing her from practicing Islam. ######


Prompt:
I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot.

I was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped.

For about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.

There were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did.

This is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######

Response:
 NTA

Child support is your son's right. Not yours.

It is time for Julie to do the bear minimum, which is to help pay for her child's upbringing. ######


Prompt:
Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,

Alright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke.

Once I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well.

Well, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside”

Back when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here”

So now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out”

Entirely logical in my opinion.

TL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######

Response:
 NTA

Can't have one set of rules at their house and expect everyone else to carry them over. Maybe you were a tad harsh with the language, but sometimes that's the only way to get through people's thick heads. ######


Prompt:
Aita for telling people about a "closed" meeting with management?   I work for a national discount retail chain that we will call amilyfa ollarda.  My mum, who lived in europe, passed away three weeks ago from coronavirus.   Trying to give work advanced notice, I told my manager I would need 2 weeks off to go to europe, arrange and attend her funeral, and settle her estate.
   I was called in the office today and told I could only take 48 hours bereavement leave.   I explained that I can not get there and back in 48 hours.   I was told it was their policy and my job would not be held past that.
   I was upset due to the fact that I've been working hard through this pandemic to help my community, while not being given masks, proper gloves, or much in the way of ppe until the past few days.   And they want to replace me for wanting to bury my mum?
  I was told that I'm an a-hole for telling a few close friends about what was said while I was upset.   Being a fairly new immigrant, I'm unused to certain things in my new home, mainly people's aversion to personal time off.  I spoke to my spouse and a few friends to see if this is common in the us.  Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA

Call your boss’s supervisor; the regional manager.  Tell the situation.  Record the call.

If that person is similarly unreasonable, tell your local community press; give them call recording. ######


Prompt:
Background:So I live in a trailer because of family complications and we have 2 two dogs (Chihuahuas)

My dad was working on the plumbing in the back of the trailer because it's an old model and the plumbing was old so we were replacing it.

We have a little fence in our front yard so the dogs can eat and drink out of a fountain that my dad made that has filtered water going through it and we clean it everyday

We had the dogs out at the time so they could do there thing and my dad went around the front and saw the youngest neighbor that is about 6 years old pouring motor oil into the water and splashing onto them and they were drinking it. My dad grabbed the oil out of his hands and immediately thew it away and we tried to call the vet to see what we could do but it's closed. So we researched and found that if you give them hydrogen peroxide in there mouth they  would throw it up so we did that and they only thew up the hydrogen peroxide and nothing else.

We had to clean out the whole filtration system since the oil had clumps in it. We were worried that our cats might drink it since they like to drink it from the fountain so we locked them in since we already had a litter box and everything.

We went to talk to the mother about this and she said she told them to do it since we had called the cops on them for a previous incident.

We threatened to called the cops on them since we were really pissed but I have to ask WIBTA if I called the cops on the mom? ######

Response:
 NTA

CALL THE COPS IMMEDIATELY, it's violence on animals, and FFS, get a restraining order... my gosh the nerve of some people... ######


Prompt:
I, f13, have a 29 year old step mom after my dad cheated on my bio mom and impregnated her. He cheated because of selfish and personal reasons involving me. They now have 5 kids together, Alyviya, who's 9, Madden and Maverick, 7, Alaiya, 5, and Maxx, 4. My mom also has remarried, but I get along with my step dad and his kid. Because of some messed up custody, I spend the school year with my dad and the summer with my mom. I mostly keep to myself, study, and just kinda drift along. My dad and his wife are fine with ignoring me, and it works out fine. They have their kids and their worries, and I'm not one of them.  Anyway,  a couple  nights ago they told me that dad's wife's cousin had passed away and that they would be leaving to a closeby state. I thought they were going that least take the older ones, but no. I have to take care of five kids under 10.  My dad hit me with the usual stupid crap about how they're my siblings and how I'm obliged to take care of them, with wife nodding stupidly along. Then, they just leave. No instructions or anything. I just gave them a refried dinner and let them watxh TV until about 9, told them to go to bed, ad that was it. They refused, of course. I gave up at one point.  At noon, I'm exhausted and I figured that they were just late or stuck in traffic. By 6, I was feeling murderous and checked their vacation. They're halfway across the country at a known vacation spot. I text them, and they just give a little lie and stop answering. When I threatened to call 911 for child neglect, they came back and refused to talk to me for "ruining their vacation." There were some choice words exchanged, and basically I told them I wanted to move to my mom's full time. So, reddit, AITA?

Sorry for format, on mobile

TL;DR - dad and stepmom left me with their five kids under ten because they said they  had to go to a funeral, when instead they were halfway across the country on vacation. ######

Response:
 NTA

Call and make a report to CPS.  This is neglect.

Also, call your Mom and have her come get you.  Immediately. ######


Prompt:
So my youngest SIL and BIL, husband's brother, moved into my MIL's house after my FIL died. We thought it was a good idea at first.
She'd have help around the house and yard.

Except that's not what happened.

My MIL cooks for them, washes their clothes and dishes. My husband goes over to mow the yard and do yard work.

So, 3 times a week(pre-covid),I'd take  my MIL out. We'd spend most of the day together. My sister in law HATES these days and always tries to get mom to stay.

She needs help with her 3 children after all. They are all still in diapers and she hates leaving them in dirty ones for so long. She refuses to change diapers.

So, I've intentionally put my sister in law out to give mom a break. I also make a point that mom isn't her maid every time I go over ######

Response:
 NTA

By the way, came over here from your other post about the wedding dress, and I gotta say, this just made me hate SIL more.

She’s got three kids and acts this way?? Lord help those kids. Bless that MIL for putting up with this, but she really doesn’t have to, and she shouldn’t just allow this to happen. I know it’s a delicate situation, being the in-law family, but I’d absolutely hold an intervention over this and try to get MIL to make some ultimatums to set for SIL. This is not okay. ######


Prompt:
A few years back, when I was 17, my husband  was 22 and our friend was 24 (I'll call our friend Hannah and husband David, just to avoid confusion these are fake names, we obviously weren't married at this point and had only just started dating)

Hannah and David worked together as cashiers, they grew close and I considered Hannah a friend, not a close friend but someone I could trust.

Everyone moved on in life, we both got  jobs we were both happy in and eventually moved a while away.

It's been 12 years, 2 years ago we were still seeing  Hannah every so often and my husband is still in contact with her - but it was so much more low contact, they saw each other maybe every few weekends but I trust my husband and Hannah.

Well about 7 months ago David told me he offered to start babysitting for her, we had a 2month old at that point that my husband barely looked after so I assumed it was an empty promise.

The baby is here basically every day, I work from home but my husband is currently working - does this mean hes looking after both children? Nope! I'm expected to do everything and work still.

He brings Hannah home cooked meals because she is an essential worker and is tired, it would be decent if he cooked them himself but nope I cook them, he doesnt even cook for me! (Wait, no correction he made me toast for breakfast this morning)

I've told him it has to stop, we are expecting again and I need him to care for OUR children.

He accused me of being controlling and overdramatic since Hannah is a friend , insensitive because she works "more" than I do - how is that comparable? He can look after 3 children and if he wants to do that he can.

Well, my friends agree that maybe I'm letting my pregnancy hormones get in the way and its showing in a lack of trust in David and he has the right to be upset.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

But, this marriage needs to end soon for two reasons. First so you can find someone who supports and loves you. Second , so he can be with Hannah and she can put up with his bullshit. ######


Prompt:
**(I doubt it matters, but this isn't a personal situation. This is my friend's and she asked me to create this since she doesn't have a Reddit and has no interest in one.)**

My son and DIL announced their pregnancy on Mother's Day when she was only a few weeks along. Last week, they went to an appointment only to discover there wasn't a heartbeat. Both my son and DIL were devastated. My DIL's dream is to become a mother, so I can only imagine how much this shook her.

My husband accepted the news pretty quickly. My son is steadily recovering. My DIL is very withdrawn now, but I try to be there whenever she wants/needs someone.

My daughter (29 and childfree) and I were discussing it a few hours ago.  She was pressing for DIL to keep trying and not wait. I explained to her in some cases it's safer to wait and DIL is allowed to grieve as long as she needs, because she in fact had a connection with the child. My daughter sort of blew this off. She kept insisting they need to get back on that horse. She finished with, if she ever had a miscarriage, she would try right away, but that's just because she's headstrong and tough.

I was fuming at her at this point. I told her she's being disgusting, foul and a disrespect b word and while I hope she never endures that, if she has a miscarriage she'll learn quickly it's not something you get over because you're 'headstrong'. She left in tears. I was harsh and maybe more mad at myself for rising someone who could say such horrible things, but I don't think I was over the line. My husband things otherwise. AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta

But your daughter is for judging how someone grieves. ######


Prompt:
Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old.

BACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed.

Now that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work.

He didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.

They sleep in till 8-9am every day.

Now yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep.

So this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me.

I told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep.

He isn't speaking to me

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

But you already know that.  "He didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night."

Tell him it's his turn to pull his weight parenting. And tell him it's not okay for him to keep you up because he wants to play video games. ######


Prompt:
I (17m) am the oldest son in my family. I have 4 younger siblings (14f, 8f, 5m and 2f). My mom expects me to watch my siblings when she isn't home. Needless to say, I'm tired of it. I never get to go to parties. Neither do I get to hang out with my friends. In fact, I hardly ever have time for myself. Last time I went on a date with my girlfriend and came home late, my mom got mad at me because I didn't change my youngest sister's diapers.

Today, my mom announced she's going to have another child. It's not that I don't want her to have a child, but I really don't want to watch another sibling. When I told my mom I'm tired of being a "babysitter" and that I won't watch her children, she called me selfish and an asshole for not being happy for her.

My aunt and grandma agrees with me but my dad said I was wrong and that I should be happy for him and my mom. My mom said I "hurt her feelings" and that she's disappointed in me.

But I said it's not my responsibility to watch her children.

That said, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

BUT what the fuck is her plan for when you move out? ######


Prompt:
I (18F) sometimes like to lounge around in my house with no bra on if I know I won't be going out anywhere for the day. I actually don't mind wearing bras because I'm small enough to where it doesn't really matter either way, but sometimes I just don't feel like putting one on.

My living room faces the street and has a giant window smack dab in the middle of it, and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Standard faire. Obviously, you can see me from the window, but it's never been an issue until now.

My neighbor, a middle-aged woman who I've barely ever interacted with, knocks on my door, and when I answer it, she starts berating me that young children live in the neighborhood and that me not wearing a bra is perverted.

Apparently, she had been walking past my house and she saw me stand up to get a snack and noticed my boobs were "flying free" which makes no sense to me because I'm a B cup but okay.

I told her I'd do whatever I want in my own house but now I'm starting to feel like maybe that was wrong of me to do. I'm mostly weirded out that she was looking at me so hard that she noticed I'm not wearing a bra, lol. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

But this woman is creepy.

Unless you're conveniently leaving out that you were topless as well as braless. ######


Prompt:
My(F25) boyfriend (M33)  and I have been together for about two months. Prior to that though, we had been together for 3 years, broke up, and got back together after a year.

We live across the county from our family. Last year, him and I actually moved here together. After a month of living together we broke up, he went home back across the country... and I stayed here. We were still exes when he decided to move back here after 7ish months, he got a job and moved back. I urged him not to, but he did anyway.

So shortly after he moved back we started hanging out and are back in a relationship. I’m still living in the place that me and him initially moved into... it’s a great house, albeit, further away from work. He lives 20 minutes away and has for the winter. Just like almost everyone in our area, he’s lost his job. I am very grateful to still have one.

His lease is up this coming month, and a couple months ago we talked about him possibly moving back with me. After a couple weeks of thinking about it, I absolutely panicked. I value my alone time in my space and I freaked out at the idea of a SO living with me sooner than later. I let him know with adequate time for him how I felt and my decision. He was very sad. Sad at me, I felt like. Sad at my decision.

He has still not looked for a place to live, and he only has a couple more weeks at the place he lives at now. I guess we have different outlooks on this because I would have probably started looking for housing a month ago.

I don’t know if he’s relying on me to change my mind, or what is going on.

I can’t lie I feel like a total piece of shit, please tell me if I’m an asshole or not. ######

Response:
 NTA

but this is probably going to end the relationship. ######


Prompt:
I (36M) have a 17 year old son, “Trent.” He’s a really kind and bright kid, but he’s been making some bad choices this year. Last fall, he got ISS for smoking a blunt with his friend in the schools’ maintenance shed. They apparently broke in, damaging the door.

Now, my son has a used Sentra that I bought for him. He pays a little bit towards the insurance and gas, and he takes it to school in the mornings. Back in late February before the lockdown, I was cleaning out my car and decided to vacuum his too. I found a large bag of weed and some gummies in his truck under some dirty clothes. There was also a pipe.

I was pretty pissed, and I disposed of them and took back his car until I could trust him again. He kicked up a fuss about getting to school, but I told him to walk. The school is only two miles and my state has mild winters.

Well, the virus shut down his school soon after, so he only really walked to school for a couple times. I told him I’d consider giving the car back once life resumes, but if i find drugs again, I’m calling the police and considering an inpatient facility.

AITA? Some might say I was too harsh, but I just want my son to be safe. I got his mom pregnant when we were 18, and I want him to have a chance at a better life then I had. ######

Response:
 NTA

But the idea of inpatient treatment for weed is hilarious. ######


Prompt:
I (F) and my Bf (M) have been dating for a year and a half and he’s had this female bestfriend for a few years now, her and I have hung out and we’ve been to each other’s houses before, I trusted her with my issues and as did she.

On April 10th 2020 she sent my boyfriend a long letter confessing her love for him that she’s had for years and neither of them wanted to tell me or let me see the letter, I have since seen it and know about this.

He has had feelings for her in the past and they’ve gotten closer since the letter and cuddle when they’re alone.

I’ve expressed my feelings on this matter and he always says it’s not a big deal and that I need to get over myself and he leaves me all the time for her and has secret calls with her.

AITA for wanting him to stop talking to her, I feel extremely uncomfortable with her being alone with him and I’m constantly worried somethings going to happen. I also don’t believe I can stay with him much longer if they continue as friends ######

Response:
 NTA

But sweet girl, you're being played. You can fight this, all you want, and I totally get being in love and wanting to fight for the relationship. However, this is going to happen, no matter what you do.

He got a love letter from someone else, and as a result he decided to get *closer* to that person. The writing's on the wall. He keeps you on the back burner, while he's "testing the waters" with his friend.

The question is just how much pain you wanna go through before you decide to cut your losses. From one internet stranger to another: you deserve better. ######


Prompt:
Recently I've been having trouble sleeping. I only get around 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I think it's because of stress from work, Corona, and a ton of other stuff going on right now. My wife on the other hand is sleeping 10 hours a day.

Because of this I'm up when she's sleeping and she is constantly telling me I'm making noise when I'm not. At first she was texting me saying needed to turn the volume down on the TV or my phone and I would. Soon I figured that I shouldn't use electronics while she's sleeping and stopped, but she still kept texting me. I told her I had turned electronics off and she said I was lying.

A few days ago she came into the living room yelling that I wasn't responding to her texts and that I needed to turn the volume on my phone down. I informed her that my phone had died and was currently charging. She accused me of gas lighting her even after I showed her the phone off and charging at less than 5% battery life.

Tonight I started getting texts again saying I was listening to music on my phone too loud. I told her she was lying and that she couldn't hear anything. She started saying that I was an asshole and I was has lighting her and that she knew I was listening to music on my phone. I told her that I was indeed listening to music on my phone, and I had it at full volume. I'm only saying that she couldn't hear it.

She went on for probably 4 or 5 more texts before I sent her a pin of my location 4 miles away and said, "I'm on a late night run through the park. You cannot hear my music."

She says I'm the AH for letting her go on for so long without telling her how I knew she couldn't hear it and that I was only trying to embarrass her. I say that it was necessary for her to finally see the problem and stop.

I'll leave it to you guys. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

But she is either being an asshole here or she is having auditory hallucinations. You should talk to her and if she honestly was hearing stuff while you weren't even around it may be time to go see a doctor. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.

I don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even.

However, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ######

Response:
 NTa

BUT on a side note, I would make sure you always take her bottle. Not because of mixing stuff up but because if there is any kind of emergency and your husband has to take medication with her to the hospital then having your bottle would be a big problem. ######


Prompt:
Okay I know this sounds really gross, but she says its 100% normal for programmers, and gamers to have.

She has these large tea bottles, that she presses against her urethra, and pees into instead of going to the bathroom.

She leaves these on desks, and I think its disgusting, I told her to stop it but she just wont listen.

She says shes an adult and she can pee where ever she wants.

I told her its my apartment, and she is forbidden from having these jugs.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

But more importantly OP, this sounds like a mental disorder. This behavior is beyond extreme. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I have never really gotten along with our neighbors on one side of us.

My wife says the origin story is that when they came to our housewarming, I was cold to them and didn’t chat enough (in my defense I was with like ten people playing a board game).

Anyway, there is no fence between our yards and their dog constantly poops in my yard. I like dogs, but the biggest reason I don’t own one is because of the cleanup.

So I would mow the lawn, and gently kick the poop into their yard as I went. I thought this was a fair compromise between cleaning it for them and doing something silly like putting on their doorstep.

Because of this, we heard them loudly shit talking us with another neighbor right in our backyard. I was the bad guy for kicking the poo over.

One morning I was driving to work with my wife and baby son in the dark. All of a sudden, again, in the dark, the neighbor comes flying from the sidewalk into the street with his dog and yells “SLOWWW DOWWWN.”

Last winter I saw that his car was stuck in the driveway. I put on my snow gear and asked if he needed a push. He just said “nope” and kept revving his engine. Ok.

There’s more but this post is already getting long.

So fast forward to today, we get a used playset with a slide, swings etc. Now all the sudden they are in the backyard with their toddlers near our yard and saying “no we can’t go on there,” etc.

We basically haven’t spoken in six years since we lived here. We never see them in the yard just playing like that.

My wife thinks we should let their toddlers play on there, because they are just kids.

This guy has been a real jerk to me for six years, I know it’s not the kids fault but I just feel like there needs to be an apology or olive branch from their end as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen.

AITA for not inviting the kids? ######

Response:
 NTA

but if you don’t have a fence, what’s stopping them from playing in it when you’re not looking? these neighbours seem like the type to just wait until you’re not home and let their kids do whatever they want ######


Prompt: My younger sister has been assigned loads of school work, one of the subjects being art. They have her do drawings then colour them in. Now she doesn’t have any of her own markers, so she uses mine that I got for christmas. I wouldn’t mind if they were cheap Crayola Markers, but these ones are expensive, especially the skin tone ones that are a good 35$. And it’s not like shes been using them for small assignments, she uses them for drawings on a much larger scale. If it was once or twice I wouldn’t mind, but she’s been using them constantly and some of them are starting to dry out. I keep telling her to stop using them as they are my markers. She tells me that markers are meant to be used that I barely use them. I tell her that it’s none of her business how often I use them and that they are meant to be used by me. She will not budge with her, “they are meant to be used“ excuse and refuses to stop using them or acknowledge that they still belong to me. Now she’s all huffy at me because of it. Most people have sided with me but a few have said I’m in the wrong. Am I the A-hole for not letting her use my expensive markers for her constant art assignments? ######

Response:
 NTA

But can't you/your parents get her some cheap ones? Then she won't need yours. ######


Prompt:
My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.

 I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.

He was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######

Response:
 NTA

But be mad because he got a tattoo done under age and that any place he could have gone to is not a reputable tattoo place. If he's not getting his tattoos done by reputable people who will do a good and safe job then he's not old enough or mature enough to get tattoos. ######


Prompt:
She decided to put away a bottle of edibles in the pantry, then they somehow were moved to the dinner table. It's a pastel pink colored bottle. The kids could easily mistake them for candy. I have pre teens and 2 younger kids.

My one year old was able to open the bottle with ease. Thankfully none of the kids consumed any.

I yelled at her quite harshly because I'm exhausted from work all week and am very irritable when sleepy. I told her they need to be in the medicine cabinet or somewhere more secure. You don't just leave any kind of drug just accessible to kids.

She's now mad at me for yelling at her....... Simple as that. ######

Response:
 NTA

But also please note that "flipping out" on your spouse in front of your children being potentially traumatizing (or at least just scary and not good) and your spouse making a scary choice that needed to be bluntly addressed can both be true at the same time.

Still NTA vote instead of everyone shitty because I think it's unfortunate but true that safety issues can make is behave in ways we wouldn't normally. ######