Prompt:
A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other.

My older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost.

While my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded.

When he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it.

My mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote " if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me.

My relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ######

Response:
 NTA

It’s is favoritism and you were right to call it out. At least now you know what to expect from him and you know how willing to help you he really is.

Also the fact that he let his girlfriend talk to you like that makes him an extra asshole. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for privacy reasons.

My (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######

Response:
 NTA

It’s fine for her to still be upset but if she cares for you she should want to celebrate your accomplishments and be happy for you. Her reaction sounds very self centred. ######


Prompt:
My(30M) brother(20M) and our parents always had a horrible relationship. Parents are conservative christians, brother is gay, you get the picture. I didn’t really have a close relationship with him either since I was in university in another country already when he was 10.

The day he turned 18 he packed his stuff and left without saying a word to them. I talk to him occasionally, but he hasn’t talked to our parents in 2 years.

I’m home now and yesterday was his birthday. Our parents remember it and they started saying that what he did was incredibly wrong, disrespectful, he didn’t love them etc etc. I genuinely asked if they really thought he’d love and respect them after years of them treating him like shit and said that it’s their fault that they don’t have a relationship now. They got mad,Dad blew up, he started yelling and saying that I was talking bullshit and I was being disrespectful too, taking his side. ######

Response:
 NTA

It’s easy to play the victim until someone reminds you of the truth. ######


Prompt:
I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.

So I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights  while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.

I'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's your house and you own all the beds, as well as all the humans.  Pee where tf you want. ######


Prompt:
My sister is having her high school graduation parade soon instead of the normal graduation due to coronavirus. Our school requires us to wear black under our gowns. She already has a black dress that fits her just fine. I have a black dress that I bought specifically for graduation last year. My sister and my mom want my sister to wear my dress instead of the one she already has.

I suppose it may seem petty but I don’t really want to let her wear it if she already has something to wear and you won’t see the difference under a gown anyway. Normally I let my sister borrow stuff from my closet (she’s even worn a dress I bought for myself for homecoming before I got to wear it). The dress just means a lot to me because my grandma picked it out. I wear it for many special occasions and even interviews- it’s like a lucky dress. I want to be nice because of everything she’s going through because of coronavirus but she has been online shopping this entire pandemic and could have bought her own dress if she didn’t like the one she already has.

Please advise. Thanks. ######

Response:
 NTA

It's your dress and being sentimental about it isn't a bad thing. You seem to be a caring sister so they should accept the fact that you want to keep this one thing to yourself. If they don't then they're being assholes since you are entitled to not sharing your stuff. ######


Prompt:
Took my 4 year old son to the park with my wife and her mum. Son has a little bike that’s his faithful companion everytime we go. He wanted to sit and watch some swans by the lake so we settled down on the grass nearby and left the bike directly behind us to get a closer look at the wildlife. I’m talking a couple of feet at most.

A small girl similar in age to my son who had been sitting with her family (and who had been watching my son and the bike with interest when we came) got up while we weren’t facing her and took the bike. We hadn’t noticed until we turned around- and there she was with her family sat on it.

My wife immediately said ‘excuse me, can we have our bike back?’ And the family laughed her off saying no no, kids play, kids play. They didn’t speak English very well so maybe they couldn’t pick up on the fact that wife and I were uncomfortable.

My son obviously started getting upset because as far as he’s concerned someone’s stolen his bike. I asked for the bike back, again they laughed it off.

I finally turned to the girl and told her to get off, she started crying and pushed off the bike and ran to her parent in a small tantrum.

Obviously I had to sanitise the handles etc before giving it back to my son because of the climate and the family looked pretty irritated but didn’t say anything. My mother in law however berated both myself and my wife saying we were unbelievably rude and that I was ‘unnecessarily insulting’ the family by sanitising the bike in front of them and that I shouldn’t have taken the bike off the little girl, and ‘in her day’ people knew the meaning of community etc. ######

Response:
 NTA

It's your (and your son's) property and no one else has the right to take it. The little girl's family is being really irresponsible and disrespectful. ######


Prompt:
In typical Asian parenting fashion, my mother has always expected me to spend my entire life with her and support her when she gets older.  It wasn't until my senior year of high school when I was applying for college that I finally stood up for myself.  Soon as she found out that I wanted to live on campus, she started yelling and crying about how ungrateful I am and how much she loved me.  Unfortunately, I couldn't handle it and caved in.  So I commuted for all 4 years of college.

I worked really hard in school so I could get a job after graduating and finally move out.  But my junior year, my father got very sick and passed away.  We had to sell our house and move into an apartment.  My mom had not had a job for like 10 years so she was really struggling to support us and we had to live on the money we made from the house.

After graduating, I got an internship about 3 hours away and surprisingly she supported me in moving into temporary housing for the summer.  Soon as the internship ended, I got a job.  My cousin and I started talking about moving in together since she was also looking to leave her home.

My mom started yelling and crying again and she said some really horrible things to me that I don't want to mention. I caved again and agreed to live with her for a few months to help her get settled.

It's been almost 8 months and she still doesn't have a job and her money is running out.  I feel really guilty for wanting to leave her like this but I also just want live my life. ######

Response:
 NTA

It's time for you to ignore her screaming and crying. ######


Prompt:
Both of my parents have been on an extended visit since. I also have an 18 month old daughter which they want to help look after, which sounded cool at first, but here’s the catch, every morning and throughout the day, they both get completely stoned off their asses and are, what I would consider, WAY too careless with my daughter. From today alone:

-Dad took my daughter downstairs to play, then stopped paying attention and she climbed up the stairs all by herself. We have baby gates on both ends of the steps, so, the gate was left open and she was ignored long enough to make it up 2 flights of steps.

-Mom decided she wanted to cook on the stove and was completely oblivious to my daughter reaching up to the stovetop almost grabbing a hot pan. Luckily I was there and hollered at her before she could.

-Mom was holding my daughter and tried to pass her to my dad, and “something” happened where my daughter kicked over a cup of coffee onto my wife’s Nintendo switch, completely bricking it. They both refused any responsibility and tried to blame the 18 month year old. Their completely baked indifference about ruining my wife’s Switch literally brought her to tears, but that could also be the hormones from her being 7 months pregnant.

-When they went to the down stairs living room, they left the baby gate open, luckily I was paying attention when she swung it open, and stopped her from trying to fall down the steps.

I finally said something just now to my mom about it, when my wife went to the store. I was calm, but very matter of fact and direct. She got super defensive. I tried my absolutely hardest to be chill and not be accusatory, but can tell I still hurt her feelings. I just want my parents to not smoke so much when she’s supposed to be caring after my daughter. I don’t feel like this is an unreasonable demand. AITA?

TLDR: Mom and Dad smoke too much weed and I don’t want them watching my toddler unless they dial it back. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's past time for your parents to leave.  It's better that their feelings are hurt, than for something terrible happen to your wife or children.

Suppose your wife went into premature labor?  They would insist that they be allowed to watch your toddler, and you might be tempted to acquiesce.  Get them out ASAP.

It's too much stress on your wife to supervise your parents now, and it definitely will be when your other child is born.  They need to leave.  Today. ######


Prompt:
I often go the local park to study/read a book etc. There’s this apartment complex near the park and people living there have a direct view of the park.

Yesterday I was chillin when this woman who lives in the apartment came up to me. She asked me if I could move to another spot. I asked her why and she said that I was “distracting” her husband. I was confused and at first didn’t even understand what she meant by that. She was SUPER vague but clarified that her husband does “*what men do*” and that I should go somewhere else.

So at this point I was pretty disgusted. I replied that I wouldn’t move and put my headphones on again. She got very irritated and said that I should respect other people’s wishes and “do the right thing”. Then she said that I come to the park too often and that I should consider other people’s marriage. Apparently she discussed this with other women in the apartment and they agree with her.

I told her that I don’t care about anybody’s marriage and that her husband is probably a porn addict if he can’t handle the sight of a female stranger in public.

Well that clearly pissed her off because she was seething with anger. She said that her husband doesn’t watch porn and called me a “sick, twisted little girl” for even suggesting that. I told her that she was making me really uncomfortable but she was STILL attacking me over the porn addict comment. She kept repeating that he doesn’t watch porn & that he’s not interested in me and not to flatter myself.

Afterwards she left but not before telling me that I will “face consequences” sooner or later.

I told my friend about it and she thinks I’m an AH for accusing the woman’s husband of being a porn addict. She said that it was very disrespectful and that she understands why the woman got so upset. And she added that I shouldn’t upset a crazy person since I can’t predict what she might do.

Am I the AH here? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's not your job to cater to creepy men and their insecure wives.

Also, she's actually more offended at the idea that her husband would ever watch porn than the idea that her husband watches strange women in parks enough for it to be a distraction???

Also, your friend sucks. ######


Prompt:
English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
My mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it.

Last year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers.
Two years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts.

I work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts.

With my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house.

(My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage)

So AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's not up to you to get her out of debt, especially as she took a loan out in your name which shes making you pay back.

You're not her parent. Get free of her as soon as you can or you'll spend your life bailing her out. ######


Prompt:
Now I know the title seems harsh, but hear me out.

Me and my best friend of about 14 years (let’s call her Amy) are as a close as two peas in a pod. Because of this, we like to think of ways that we could “roast” each other.  Now I want to make a few things clear:

1. There are strict boundaries about what we do and do not joke about (for example it is more than fine to take a piss out of my nose, but the death of my granpa is a no-no zone.)

2. If a joke hurt one of us, we express that, which is usually followed by a apology and a talk about boundaries if the person wishes to do so.

3. All of our mutual friends know it and pay it no mind.

Recently, a new person came into out group (let’s call them Alex). They’ve been introduced to out group dynamics, and they’re been told about Amy’s and mine banter.

It’s all been fun and games, however one day I get an email from my head of my class to come and talk to her. I went, and apparently someone reported me for bullying Amy. This took a good week to solve, and both me and Amy had to have numerous conversations with head of class to prove that it’s all chill.

 I did go to Amy, I asked if I did anything to hurt her. She said no

Next time , we’re sitting in a group, I’m telling the story, and Alex says “yeah it might have been me”
I got very mad , cause their behavior caused both of us a bunch of trouble. Alex said that they do not like our jokes, so they’ve decided to report me just in case I was hurting Amy.

I have decided to cut them out, but some friends think that I’m being to harsh.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's not their job to police your friendship group because they dont like something about it. They can leave, as they are the newbie, not dob you in to the teacher. That is low, and your other friends should cut then out too or at least give them a good talking to. If Alex shows remorse for their actions, then i think you should forgive them, but keep them out if they don't.

 It's a lot like people getting angry at a comedian for making a joke about a certain group, even though everyone who was the butt of the joke (the people in the group) found it funny. You can't get offended on behalf of someone unless you know *for a fact* that they are offended too ######


Prompt:
Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family.

Am the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell?

Had the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago

Edit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion.

AITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me

Edit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######

Response:
 NTA

It's normal to tell your parents when you or your partner gets pregnant. However, since you two had agreed not to tell anyone in this case it was a major betrayal on his part. ######


Prompt:
It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged...

I have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies.
I blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else.

I told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday.

I got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day.

Am I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######

Response:
 NTA

it's birth "day", not birth weekend ######


Prompt:
So  we have a daughter who turned three in January. Personally, I think  she's pretty advanced for her age. She has complex conversations with us  and can even read simple words already. She's now home with us all day  while we work because of recent events. She's definitely getting more screen  time than we would normally allow because we have to work, and she  discovered Scooby-Doo. I bought her the first two seasons of the  original version of the show that began in 1969. ("Scooby-Doo, Where Are  You?") At the time, my wife didn't say anything, even during the early  watching. I was pretty excited because this was one of my absolute  favorite shows when I was her age, and it kind of still is.

However,  my wife has decided that my daughter is no longer allowed to watch  Scooby-Doo. She is concerned that the scenes are too anxiety-inducing  for a child my daughter's age. I've spoken with my daughter and she  seems to clearly understand the monsters are just pretend people in  costumes as gets revealed at the end of each episode. She hasn't had any  nightmares or anything like that. She's always laughing at Scooby's  antics during the episodes. And she likes to pretend now that she's  Daphne as she goes around the house.

Now  that my wife has said she can't watch Scooby, my daughter is pretty  upset. She loves the show and is constantly begging to watch it now. I  typically present a united front with my wife, and I've been doing so  and not letting her watch the show now. But I have told my daughter that  if she can convince Mommy I'll let her watch the show. I'm having a  tough time reconciling that there's anything wrong with watching  Scooby-Doo and taking ownership for the decision not to let her watch  it.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's a TV-G series! I can imagine her banning Courage the Cowardly Dog for some intense horror moments, but Scooby-Doo is harmless. Next, you'll be telling me she lets her watch Spongebob... ######


Prompt:
Preface:
So, I (16M), have been saving up some money to purchase a new laptop. Specs are very good (2070 ti, i7 10th gen, 16gb ram, etc.) and I use it for school, gaming, and 3d modeling. So the laptop costs $1500 USD, and I currently have $1660 in my bank account. Currently the laptop is out of stock until July 15, but you can pre-order it.

My mom had bought a laptop as a gift two Christmases ago, and it doesn't run certain things well, specifically the 3d modeling software I use. My stepdad however needs a new laptop for doing some stuff for his work , so I'm looking for a new one. My mom doesn't want me getting a new laptop because, "I already have one that works." I explained to her that I was planning on giving it to my stepdad, and she didn't say anything about that. So here I am finding the perfect laptop for my purposes, and as I'm about to buy it my mom stops me.

She explains that she would rather us use her credit card so she could get points on it, and I agree. She says she will buy the laptop for me and then I would transfer the money to her account. So it's been 5 days since she said she would buy it, and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I know it's not in stock for a while, but I would like to have my order be filled first. So I've been slowly increasing the pressure on my mom to buy it.

TL:DR : I have saved money for a laptop. Mom wants to use credit card, and then transfer the money into her account. It's been 5 days and I'm slowly increasing the pressure on her to buy it.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's a logical thing that you first want the goods bought before transferring a chunk of money especially since you've saved for it.

Info: would she take money from you to set an example as to listen to her? ######


Prompt:
Since getting engaged, my fiancé and I have been struggling to nail down the basics, including the venue and of course, the date. Our families both have pretty busy schedules and finding a date that suited both families and was in the reasonable future has been quite challenging. Fortunately, finally settled on January 30, 2021 (COVID permitting), one of the very few weekends that both our families are available to travel and attend our wedding.

The only slight conflict with the date is that my grandmother’s birthday is the following Tuesday, on February 2nd. My grandmother lives pretty far from my immediate family and myself, and even when I was growing up we didn’t celebrate her birthday beyond a phone call. However, since the wedding date we picked is so close to her birthday, my mom is insisting that we make our wedding reception a split party between our reception and my grandmother’s birthday party. She wants to have a separate cake for my grandmother beside the wedding cake and everything. I love my grandmother, but our wedding reception will also have my fiancé’s family, our college friends, and work friends in attendance who have never met my grandmother. None of her friends will be there and I feel like it would be weird to celebrate her birthday with a bunch of strangers. Also, not to be self centered, but I kind of want my wedding day to be about me and my fiancé, particularly since we’re the ones paying for the venue, food, and entertainment. I want my grandmother to feel celebrated and loved, but I also want to have my special wedding day.

So, AITA for telling my mother no and that we should celebrate my grandmother separately? I don’t want to be a bridezilla, so I’m willing to negotiate, but I just feel super weird about it. ######

Response:
 NTA

It would be lovely to have a lunch the following day to celebrate her or even the day before, but your wedding reception that you are paying for is not a free-for-all family event celebration day. ######


Prompt:
I was supposed to go on a trip with my best friend next year, just the two of us and we'd both been saving for it. I have a credit card that rewards me airmiles and I've been using it exclusively for the past year to get a free ticket and airmiles.

We now get to travel for the price of 1 ticket instead of 2 and we get to go business class so we've saved about £1,000 each. He's suddenly decided to invite his GF, knowing full well then we don't get along. This was annoying enough and made me not want to go on the trip but now he's expecting me to use my free ticket and airmiles to make it cheaper for her as well.

I don't like her in the slightest and want to go o a trip with my best friend. As that's not happening I told him I'm not going to use my airmiles for him and her and will travel solo if she's coming. She's an awful person and being in the same car as her is bad enough, let alone a 12+ hour flight and then 10 days on holiday.

Now he's calling me an asshole because I'm making him choose between a cheap trip together, or her. ######

Response:
 NTA

It was planned to be the two of you and he just invited his girlfriend without asking you ######


Prompt:
This happened pre-Carona, but my sister still brings it up bitterly.

My sister (f27) and I (m24) had an old high school friends get together last Christmas period. We went to a small high school, so we hung around the same circles back in the day.

I was there with my boyfriend, it was late in the evening, we were all drunk and rowdy and sex jokes were being thrown around, my boyfriend made a joke that implied anal sex. Everyone laughed, except my sister.

She scowled and said, "You shouldn't talk about that, it's disgusting."

Uncomfortable silence.

I laughed put an arm around her and said maybe if she had more "unconventional" kinds of sex, maybe she wouldn't have ended up with four kids in her mid-20s.

I admit, it was a bit mean, but it broke the awkward tension so people could laugh and move on from her weird comment.

The next day she went off at me for saying that. She told our parents and other siblings, removed from the context. She says she won't ask me to babysit anymore since I think so little of her children (who I adore, I love being an uncle.) Overall, I think she's far over-reacted.

And it wasn't an unfounded joke. My sister complains about having kids all the time. She wishes she was older to have them. Every pregnancy she breaks down crying. She always talks about missed opportunities etc.

And she's extremely "pro-life", picketed outside abortion clinics and everything. My parents and family are not at all. She's gone through every pregnancy acting as a martyr, sacrificing her youth and body to do her duty.
This annoys the fuck out of me.

TL;DR

told my rude sister that if she had tried anal once in a while she could have avoided having so many unwanted kids ######

Response:
 NTA

It was clearly a joke said among friends. She obviously feels some type of way about the way her life turned out and is taking those feelings out on you.

I'm sure she saw the joke as a jab at her, but it's a joke. Even offensive/true jokes can be funny. Sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself. ######


Prompt:
Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job

(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it)

Am I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######

Response:
 NTA

It sounds, to me, like he planned to have friends over to use your room or is offended that you felt it necessary to lock him out.

This isn't truly about how the lock looks. ######


Prompt:
For context, I’ve always tried really hard at school and been for the most part an A-/A student- by no means perfect grades but generally good grades.

My brother on the other hand straight up doesn’t try at all. He’s really smart so in some classes he gets B+’s (considering how little he tries and the fact that there are large assignments that he neglects to turn in, this is pretty impressive) but there are also many classes that he’s more in the C/C- range.

My parents try to force him to do his work and they’ve gotten him tutors and stuff but my brother either refuses to get tutored or doesn’t pay attention, wasting time and money.

The thing is, now that we’re doing online learning, my parents have basically given up trying to enforce any rules on him whatsoever.

They still force me to store all of my devices in the kitchen in the night bc “blue light is harmful to sleep” but they don’t care at all that my brother is staying up past 2am playing video games with his friends.

Where the disagreement comes in is tonight, I was feeling stressed and I wanted to watch Netflix on my computer before bed.

This started an argument between my mom and I because she was refusing to let me keep my computer in my room *just that once* while at that moment my brother was playing video games with his friends.

My mom said that it was unreasonable for me to be upset because my brother and I are “going on different paths in life and so she treats us a little differently” which I understand to some extent and am usually very accepting of (this device thing isn’t the only disparity in the way we’re treated it’s just the one relevant to this story) but it just felt like such a blatant double standard that my mom wasn’t giving me this little bit of leeway in something that my brother is allowed to do literally every day.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It sounds like your parents have wrote off your brother in terms of academics and are cutting him a lot more slack because of it. They probably have much higher expectations where you're concerned but not allowing you a bit of slack is extremely unfair. ######


Prompt:
My brother (16M) and I (18F) regularly refer to each other as “Dude”, “Boy”, Bro”, “Man”, “My guy”, etc. That’s just how we naturally talk to each other in conversations and my mom hates it because my brother “shouldn’t be using masculine words like dude” to describe me and a “proper lady” shouldn’t use words like “bro” and “dude”, etc. She said that it’s trashy, low class, and “below us”. We’ve tried to change the way we talk around her so we don’t get scolded but she still gives us a funny look when it slips out sometimes.
She also HATES it when she calls our names from far away in the house and sometimes we answer “Yeah?” Instead of “Yes?”. It’s a habit that’s hard to break because we talk to everyone else in my family along with friends like that and they don’t mind it. She’ll always say, “Don’t say “yeah” to me, it’s disrespectful. I’m your mother. Start over.” And she’ll ignore me until we say “yes.” It gets her SO worked up that it’s hard not to laugh sometimes but I don’t want to offend her if it can be taken by others the wrong way.

So am I wrong here? Idk if older adults see it differently but is saying words like “Yeah” and “Dude” offensive or disrespectful? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. ######

Response:
 NTA

it sounds as though she just likes to find things to berate you over, to feel she has some form of “control” ######


Prompt:
I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends.

A lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy.

I’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It seems like your husband isn't grasping that you actually need to work because he's also 'working from home' and doesnt seem to be doing much from your account. He needs to realise that covid-19 isn't a holiday and you still have deadlines ######


Prompt:
I (29f) am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in November. My BIL and his fiancée have planned to have a wedding during this time (roughly 2 weeks after my due date) and I’m super excited for them!

However they have huge plans in place, with over 100 guests. The argument started when each family member was assigned a certain wedding task. Mine was to ensure the guests walked out with their ‘thank-you’ gifts (which is to be segregated by age & gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc. I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous. I offered to do the excel work- sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I’m being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family. I said I won’t be attending the wedding if that’s what they think of me. Honestly, I don’t even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I’m worried it’s all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child’s. My husband took their side too and I’ve had it with this family!

AITA for not wanting to attend this wedding although I love my BIL and his fiancée? ######

Response:
 NTA

It may not even be two weeks after you give birth. It might be two days, or even two hours. It can’t even be guaranteed that you’ll be there. It’s absurd that they’ve given you any task. ######


Prompt:
Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.

Fast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.
     Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything.

When she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing.

Ever since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.

My other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA

It is your father's wishes. Your father gets to decide what he gives to whom whether he's a stepfather, or a bio father.

Your father decided. Respect that and execute his wishes appropriately. ######


Prompt:
I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag.

I refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again.

I thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much "you have your beliefs and I have mine" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life.

I don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######

Response:
 NTA

It doesn't matter if you are Muslim or not, you don't want to dress in drag and you shouldn't be bullied, cajoled, pressured or guilted into dressing in drag (or doing anything you are uncomfortable with, for that matter.)

I don't understand your gf.  Is this her idea of a joke?  Is she not comfortable with you being Muslim?  She has gone far beyond any ethical standards here...for a drag show?  What is her problem?

While I think drag shows are fun and campy, my husband does not agree and I'd never ask him to accompany me to one, much less dress in drag himself. ######


Prompt:
I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with.

Someone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day.

((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))

AITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######

Response:
 NTA

It all sounds a little fishy to me. ######


Prompt:
My husband (47m) and I (35f) want a public opinion on my actions today. Obligatory, sorry I'm on mobile disclaimer.

This morning I left to get groceries. I packed my car with insulated bags and a cooler with ice. This is my method when I know I'm going to several stores and want to keep cold items as cold as possible.

Yesterday a friend told me she was having a bad week so we decided to meet for coffee sometime today. After I left she messaged me and we met for coffee after I left grocery store #1.

The coffee shop is in the same town and we sat and talked for 45 minutes before going our separate ways.

I went to grocery store #2, grabbed some items and my phone dings asking what I am doing. When I tell my husband I met with my friend for 45 minutes of coffee he  starts yelling at me that I am a liar. That I am sneaking around. That I should have known that he and our son were waiting for me to return.

I apologized for not telling him about the time the coffee meetup was happening. But, I did tell him yesterday that it was going to happen today. AITA for not telling him about it when it was happening and meeting her during my grocery run? ######

Response:
 NTA

Is this normal behavior for him? You TOLD him you'd be having coffee with this friend. How could that equate to sneaking around in his mind? ######


Prompt: Title basically says it all, my mother was in control of my grandfather’s assets after his passing since he left no will, and since he didn’t leave a will she sees no issue in giving her new husband my grandfather’s Harley he specifically stated he wanted me to have. Her new husband doesn’t like me and also has no issue taking this bike but apparently I’m in the wrong for feeling like it should have been given to me. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Is there another family member you could talk to that can help you get through to your mom?

That’s pretty crappy, sorry.

What is she saying? I can imagine she may want to have some connection between her late father and new husband. But she should talk to you and explain her point and so on. It’s not cool if she left you feeling like you don’t matter and could be TA here...

I hope you’ve talked to her about her new husband overall, and she’s hopefully taking steps to help y’all build a good relationship. There are tactics and people to help with this stuff. ######


Prompt:
My parents divorced when I was 5, my dad remarried almost immediately (like within months after the divorce) and my mom remarried when I was 9 or 10 can't really remember.  My dad's wife had 4 kids who were at the time 7,5, 3 and 2 while I was 5 when we all moved in together.  Now I didn't live full time with them, I was half at my mom's half at their place and they were the same way and were only together for about 2 weeks out of the month.  It was not a good situation when we first moved in, everything from the time the youngest could walk was always a 4v1.  Every vote was always against mine, every argument with 1 became an argument with all 4, and some other stuff that made me really hate going over to my dad's if they were over.  While my mom's husband had a kid my age too I get along with her WAY better than I do the kids at my dad's house.

I was recently talking with my friend's while I'm at my dad's on the phone, my door was slightly open at the time.  My friend said something like "I didn't know your brother was on the baseball team".  I corrected him and reminded him that he is my step brother not my brother and we dropped the conversation and went on with the rest of the day.

When I was done though, my dad told me to quit it with the step sibling stuff and to just call them my siblings.  I told him I'm just being literal in what they are, but he is practically forcing me to call them my brother and sisters now.  AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

insofar as you were simply explaining to your friend why one wouldn’t realize you had a brother (of any kind) on the team. Not sure what your dad’s deal is. ######


Prompt:
My husband has been rowing on a nearby lake early mornings for about 20 years. This summer he's been going out alone most mornings.  He refuses to wear a PFD bc it interfears with his stroke.  I have never agreed with this but what can I do?  My arguments have failed.  My pleas fall on deaf ears.  So I gave up.  I can not force him to do it.

This morning he was late returning from his row.   I left to go find him after he was about 20 minutes late for work, an hour later than his usual return time.  By this time my mind was going wild with what ifs thinking he was alone on the water.

 My hopes were answered when I saw him and 2 friends walking up the path.  I didn't make a scene, and they all thanked me for checking on them.   He did not apologize, he said he was planning to see them and forgot to tell me.  He was kinda laughing when he said it. Cue the rage boiling deep...

If I'd known he was with friends I wouldn't have worried. At all.  All my anxiety and fear turned to rage.  When we got home he asked if everything was alright.  I said " I can't talk about it right now.  I know you have to go to work and I know it's going to turn into a big thing.  All my anxiety and fear have turned to rage and I cant even."  His response was " alright" and he went upstairs to work.  So now he's acting pouty like a victim because I'm having some kind of reaction.  I can't think straight and would appreciate hearing what level heads think of this.  So reddit, AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA

Insist on him wearing a flotation device.  Perhaps get him a device like the ones this company does

https://www.lifejackets.co.uk/Lifejackets-Automatic.htm ######


Prompt:
I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know.

I've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried.

Once I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.

I kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her "I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.

My mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######

Response:
 NTA

In what world does someone like that possibly get to demand it stay quiet? Especially since once he eventually gets out he's probably going to be on a publicly accessible list anyway.

And the type of crime aside, as you've said, this was about your career. It is not fair that you could be held back by his illegal actions, and you deserved to know if that was indeed a risk for you. ######


Prompt:
Hi all, this is a throwaway and I don’t really know how this works but I’ve been having an issue with my fiancé and her family.

Background: I am a part owner in a pretty upscale American restaurant in the United States. I have been engaged for a little over a year, the virus took a toll in our plans. I have been with my fiancé for a total of 4 years now. She does not have any kids but I have two daughters who live with their mother.

Situation: my fiancé’s sister called my fiancé to tell her that her 17 year old son (I’ll call Chris) was taking a girl on a date for the first time, and said they were gonna go to my restaurant.

The day came and I was working, they showed up and of course I said hello and talked to them and such. then I left them alone to enjoy their meal, I didn’t say anything to them until they were walking out. I just thanked Chris for coming and said it was nice seeing them.

An hour or so went by and I got a text from my fiancé calling me an asshole. I didn’t have time to text and I just told her We can talk when I get home. I got home and she told me she couldn’t believe I didn’t comp the bill for Chris. I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, and she called me a cheapass. She let me know that her sister and mother also thinks I’m an asshole.

She called me out for others I’ve comped meals for, including my ex wife (She’s still the mother of my daughters and we aren’t on bad terms, IMO not a big deal). I apologized and I promised I will next time they come in, but apparently the fact that I had to be told makes me an AH.

Was it really an AH move to not comp Chris’s food? ######

Response:
 NTA

In no way should anyone ever “expect” to have a meal comped, no matter what the relation. The restaurant is a business and not a place for free food. The fact that it was somehow expected and not offered or discussed in anyway screams entitled. ######


Prompt:
My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, "I will ruin your fucking life".

After learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her.

Now that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful.

Recently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again.

Fed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent.

She is gone now.

My friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

In general you need to be careful leaving guests with your roommate, but adding in the context and you have reason to not want her over at all. ######


Prompt:
I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work.

My mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call "B". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes.  well 5 hours later B came back.

When I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said "my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing"

My usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like "at least he isn't f\*\*\*ing dead in a hospital" and "why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead" and to top it off "id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things.

AMTA? ######

Response:
 NTA

In any way shape or form. Grief is never a competition.

I'll admit his words may not be coming from a rational place, but it's still no excuse. ######


Prompt:
My brother (18M) and I (21M) got into this argument last night and my sister (16F) took his side so I may be the asshole.

My mom is from Colombia and my dad is a white American with some Irish and German ancestry. My siblings and I grew up in North Carolina around my dad's family but we visited my mom's family every summer for 3 weeks. My mom raised us speaking Spanish so we are all bilingual. My college is about 1 hour away from home. I have an on campus apartment. My brother's school is in Florida and he dorms. I found out that my brother is lying about his race. He says that he never tells people that he's part Latino because he doesn't want to be grouped with them. He says that he tells people he's half Italian and half Irish. He has an Italian first name and an Irish last name and brown hair with tan skin so I guess people buy it. He took Italian in high school so he can speak the language well enough. He even joined an Italian Cultural Club on campus. He said it started as an accident. He plays on the club soccer team and one of the guys (white) said something about there being too many Mexicans on the team. He said it to my brother and another (white) friend. The other friend said, "Wait, isn't Marco Mexican?" That is when my brother said he was Italian.

We aren't Italian though. Not even a little bit. My brother said that he would rather have people think he's Italian than know he's Latino. He said that the girl that he was hooking up with in college even thinks he's Italian. I told him he's an asshole for lying about his race and pretending to be someone he's not, especially since he didn't mind putting Latino on college applications when he knew it may give him a slight advantage. He said that he can be whoever he wants to be. My sister even said that she doesn't see the problem with it and that I was an asshole for even caring. ######

Response:
 NTA

Im more so interested in how long hes gonna keep this up. Eventually his friends or s.o will meet his family. Im surprised none of them have seen his family on facebook or instagram yet. ######


Prompt:
So since barbershops are closed my son (8yo) hasn't had a hair cut in almost 6 months now.  In my own opinion I like his hair long, I always thought he had straight hair but its starting to curl, and he likes it too. My wife's friend is a barber and told us she's willing to cut both our children's hair for free.  My daughter has really wanted to get her hair cut cause its pretty long and she wants it a bit shorter.  But my son wants to keep his hair, he sometimes complains about hair getting into his eyes but he seems to like it long.

I am all for letting him grow that sucker out as much as he wants, but my wife says its a mistake cause when he's in the shower the soap can get in his eyes and could burn him.  She also said cause I always get a buzzcut or jarhead look I don't understand the struggles of long hair.  AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If your son likes it then let him grow out his Quarantine Cut, if he’s asking for one then let him get one, he’s 8 that’s an appropriate age for letting him decide how he likes his hair ######


Prompt:
So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer.

My mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back.

Now, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister.

She has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad.

I kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ######

Response:
 NTA

If your sister has a history of destroying or treating her electronics really badly then it makes since not to want a computer she used.

 Hopefully she doesnt inflict to much damage, and you can enjoy a relatively new laptop. If she does mess it up, hopefully your parents will notice and im sure they wont be thrilled about replacing a brand new laptop.

Best case scenario you get the laptop back with almost no damage. Worst case your parents realized their mess up and they have to pay out for another new one. ######


Prompt:
I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.
I live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.

When my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.

My dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ######

Response:
 NTA

If your mother doesn't leave the house, she has no need for a mask. Your sister, on the other hand, has a definite need for one. ######


Prompt:
Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old.

BACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed.

Now that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work.

He didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night.

They sleep in till 8-9am every day.

Now yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep.

So this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me.

I told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep.

He isn't speaking to me

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you're working 40 hours a week and struggling to walk, in what universe is it remotely fair that you do 50% of the child maintenance?

What does he do around the house that matches the effort you put in working and doing things while he sleeps or plays games? ######


Prompt:
So I live next to a man, let's call him Cam, who's in his late 20's and is single. He is also openly gay. To express his identity, he attends the local pride parade every year, he hangs rainbow flags around his property and he has had multiple boyfriends, some of whom i've met. But for the past 6 months Cam's been single and I think he's getting rather lonely. Recently, he has started approaching me while i've been doing yardwork and joins me as I walk to get my mail every other day. We've been neighbours for almost 5 years now and he is well aware that i'm not gay. Regardless, he still makes an attempt to flirt with me. ( ie. sexual jokes, excessive winking, caresses my biceps and pecs, always inviting me for dinner) His advances have made me quite uncomfortable around him, as a result of this I have been intentionally avoiding him. I will often go back inside if he is hanging around the outside of my house, and I will go get my mail at extremely late hours. When I can't manage to avoid him, I try to ignore him or get the interaction done as quick as humanly possible. But last night he waited until 2:45 am for me to go get my mail. He ran up beside me and started asking me where i've been and why I have been ignoring him. I claimed that I had no idea what he was talking about and i've just been feeling under the weather. He didn't really buy it and kept persisting, it was that point that I did a complete 180 and sprinted back to my house. I've been locked inside for almost 24 hours now and i've seen him walk around the outside of my house a few times.

TL;DR Gay neighbour flirts with me and I locked myself inside because of it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you were just avoiding him for no other reason than that he's gay, you'd be in with a chance in the Asshole Olympics. But this isn't that; his actions are completely out of line, especially those involving him touching you without consent.

If you don't want to completely cut him out (and you'd be justified in doing so, but I get why you'd want to avoid this since you can't exactly stop being his neighbour without moving house) I would go and see him and make it abundantly clear that you don't mind talking to him or being neighbourly but his flirting, innuendo and especially touching you need to stop. Don't accept any justification or excuses for this; just point out that you do not want him to do any of these things, and that if he persists you'll have no choice but to end contact with him because it makes you uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.

 Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.

I’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \*I\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.

At the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you start giving this money to your mother, OP, she will end up taking it all.  It will be nibbled away by her and perhaps other relatives until you have nothing left.

Do the smart thing, OP.  Go to a financial planner.  Perhaps your attorney could make a recommendation.

A good planner can extend you money for your short term goals, like schooling.  He/she can tie up the rest of the money so that it is difficult to access.  That will help you tell your mother *No*, which is what she needs to hear. ######


Prompt:
My swimming instructor said I passed all of the requirements for the first part of my course. Then he said the last part of my course required  me to do a practical test at another swimming location the next day. I drove all the way to the new swimming pool about 30 minutes away and went into the swimming centre. I saw my swimming instructor and other swimming classmates. My swimming instructor said “sorry, I forgot that your swimming level (I am doing bronze star) doesn’t require an practical test. The practical test is only for those doing bronze medallion and above.”
So me and my family went home.
Then weeks passed and I still have not received my bronze star certificate in the mail.

I went to the swimming pool and told a staff member I haven’t received my certificate. Then she told me to write my mobile number down so my swimming teacher can contact me. Weeks had passed and I did not get a phone call from the teacher.

I went to the swimming pool one day and happened to see my swimming teacher so I said that I still haven’t received my certificate. He said “that’s not my problem if you haven’t received your certificate”. I’m not the type to argue so I just left it there and came home and told my dad.

My dad said to email the swimming organisation and say that I haven’t received my certificate. They replied back and basically didn’t believe me. Then i had to reply back explaining the whole story, I even included the part where my teacher said “it’s not my problem”. Then finally the swimming organisation replied back and apologised. I received my certificate about two months late.

Then the following year I had that same swimming teacher again to teach me swimming. He basically ignored me the entire time. AITA for going to great lengths to get my certificate? I mean I did pay around $100 for the course. ######

Response:
 NTA

If you paid and did everything required to get your certificate than you should get it. If he's the one in charge of mailing certificates than it is his problem and if not he still should have helped you regardless. As a customer of his course you pay his salary and he has an obligation towards you and he's not fulfilling it.

Also if he's completely dismissing you now you should email organisation again, preferably with proof of his misconduct, and either have him show you respect you deserve or get a refund. ######


Prompt:
My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.

This has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.

Fast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.

Because of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!

TL; DR
My grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######

Response:
 NTA

If you cut the blanket in half, no one has a functional blanket from grandma.

That’s obviously a ridiculous King Solomon type solution.

We don’t even know if your brother is upset about not having a blanket. If he is, you can easily work out a lending schedule.

Sorry to hear about her decline, been there, know how tough it can be to watch. ######


Prompt: My sister is getting married a year from now and is going crazy on her wedding plans.  She knows I'm only working part-time while going through cancer treatment and am struggling financially.  She's picked out $400 designer bridesmaids dresses for us plus alterations, shoes, jewelry, etc. and wants us to buy them right away.  I asked if we could look at very similar, less expensive options and she hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks. ######

Response:
 NTA

If you cannot afford what the bridezilla is determined to have, be up front and say,

“Sis, I only work part time and am going through cancer treatments, I don’t even know how long I’ll be able to hold onto the few hours I currently work. I am unable to afford what you envision for your special day. In light of that, while I want to be very involved with your wedding because you are my sister and I love you, I will not be able to be a bridesmaid but I hope to still contribute and be a guest on XYZ date.” ######


Prompt:
A couple things. I am of Indian descent, this means I am an American citizen, but both my parents were born in India. I can’t legally be an Indian citizen because India does not allow dual citizenship. My late grandparents own a lot of land in India, and since my mom and I are both only children, half of their land went to me and half went to my mom. I also recently proposed to my fiancée on our 5 year anniversary. This is why the discussion of what we own came up.

I don’t have the current estimate on my property, but it was worth about 7 crore rupees which is approximately a million dollars. The thing is, I can’t sell the land. I’m not an Indian citizen, so it’s illegal for me to sell that land. I can legally build buildings and be a landlord or a farm that land, but I can in no way sell that land. I also don’t want to use that land for rent or farming since it’s going to be difficult to invest.

I did own the land a couple months before my relationship with my fiancée started, but I didn’t think it was that important to tell her. ######

Response:
 NTA

If you can’t sell it then technically you aren’t really a millionaire? I mean you could figure out a way to make money off it if you had to but it’s not that accessible to you right now.

I think you should bring it up before marriage tho. Just say what you said here. You own land but can’t really do anything with it as you aren’t an Indian citizen and dealing with buildings would be a hassle.

But at this point it’s less about money and more it’s just an interesting part of you she may like to know about. ######


Prompt:
So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there.

Me and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice.

Anyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \[the restaurant\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options.

Am I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######

Response:
 NTA

If they refuse to cancel the reservation, wish them well as they go without you. ######


Prompt:
My sister (25) works for an art museum and always talks about how little she makes compared to what she perceives to be less important jobs. I (27) work as a lawyer so, due to the nature of our work, most likely make more money than her (though neither of us know each other’s exact salary obviously)

She was going on again about finance, lawyers, big business, corporations, etc and how much more money “white men” make compared to people like her.

I reminded her we both grew up in the exact same family (fairly privileged) and that we both were fortunate enough to have our parents support us through undergrad. I suggested that if she was that upset with her salary, do what I did, take out a loan and go to grad school to make more money.

After going back and forth, she said I make more money than her because I’m a male. I responded that it wasn’t my fault that she chose to major in art and pointed out 50% of my law classmates were women (as are my co-workers). I told her that she chose a passion job over money, which is 100% fine, but that all choices have pros and cons. I basically hate my daily life but make good money. Everybody makes their choices.

She got really pissed when I told her to “stop playing the gender card” to explain her current finances.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If she was complaining about a man in the same role as her making more or a woman in the same role as you making less, I'd be inclined to believe it's a gender issue. But if you and her both got the same treatment and opportunities from your parents growing up and you picked a career that pays more, that's not a gender issue :/ ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time.

To try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas/lentils/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer.

My sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her.

Everything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some "real food" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If she wants other food, she can order and pay for it.  No one is forcing her to eat your meals. ######


Prompt:
I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work.

A high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons.

One thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us).

Our friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children.

My mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too.

Yes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######

Response:
 NTA

If she wants money she should apply for government aid or better yet get a job instead of mooching off her friends ######


Prompt:
My gf moved in with me shortly after the pandemic began for financial reasons mostly

She hates that i let my 2 rabbits free roam my house. She’s a neat freak and she hates the hair, hay, and the fact they occasionally drop a turd out of their litter box (which is picked up by my automated vaccuum quickly)

AITA for wanting them to continue to live their lives as is and not forcing them to give up their freedoms because my gf can’t handle what amounts to a RARE tiny rabbit pellet, some hay near their litter box, and their hair. It is my house afterall. ######

Response:
 NTA

If she doesn't like it she didn't have to move in.

Pets are part of the family... ######


Prompt:
English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
My mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it.

Last year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers.
Two years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts.

I work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts.

With my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house.

(My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage)

So AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######

Response:
 NTA

If others want your Mom to have money, they can give her their money.  You're doing enough. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try to keep this simple. I (23M) have been dating (23F) for about 5 months now, and our relationship has been official/public for most of that time. She is extremely supportive, generous, and I think, a great girlfriend overall. I am not a big social media user, but my she loves Twitter. I don’t have Twitter, but as she spends hours on it everyday, I got curious and decided to look her up. Sort of teasing, I asked what her username was, and she said, “Are you looking me up? Don’t look at my Twitter.” I assumed she was being lighthearted in turn and just teasing. Well, I managed to find her handle and after about 5 minutes she made her account private.

Now, I try not to be sensitive, but I admit I was a little hurt. I didn’t realize she was being so serious about this. I asked her if I was going to see something offensive, she said no. I asked if she was doing things she didn’t want me to see, she said no (which is obviously paradoxical).

Her position is that Twitter is “her space.” I replied that no, it’s actually the most public space you can get, which is why I’m confused that she doesn’t want her BOYFRIEND to see what she’s doing.

We are at the point in our relationship where we’ve talked about our past. I know she has met/sexted guys via Twitter. I understand that everyone has a past, and everyone has a right to privacy, but this just feels icky to me. I am still fairly new to the relationship thing, and I am genuinely not trying to have trust issues here, but to me this feels like a red flag. My girlfriend seems to think I am making a big deal out of nothing. AITA? Do I just need to chill out? ######

Response:
 NTA

if it was private account that she just didn’t feel comfortable sharing yet, I would maybe get it.

But it is (was until you saw it) a public account so really you’re the only person she doesn’t want seeing it.

Kinda sounds like a red flag to me. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep it short:

My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. About a week before Father's day, I took a pregnancy test, because I started having symptoms. It tested positive. But just to be sure, I also went to see a professional that also confirmed it. By now, it was about two days before Father's day, so I decided to wait and tell my husband on Father's day, thinking nothing of it. When I did tell him, he was overjoyed and we were both really happy- until he asked me how long I knew.

When I told him I knew for about a week, he got really irritated and became incredibly snappy, saying that I should've told him as soon as I knew. I got a little annoyed and asked why it was such a problem that I waited a little bit, it's not like it was a couple of weeks, it was literally two days. I thought it would be a nice surprise, especially since it's on a day that it's celebrated for. Now, it's been a few days since the argument and I'm not sure how to feel, but I kinda feel as if he ruined a day that was supposed to be special for the both of us. AITA for not telling him as soon as I knew? ######

Response:
 NTA

If it was me I would have been thrilled to find out on fathers day, especially since you did the right thing and went to confirm with a professional.

I somewhat understand why he would get snippy, but in all honesty, its such a minor thing that it makes him wrong. This should be the happiest moment in your relationship (so far) a 2 day wait shouldnt ruin that ######


Prompt: With the current world climate the worry of mortality has been brought up in the minds of many including my(20) half-sister sister (32). My half-sister was discussing with me on the phone how difficult it will be to divide everything evenly if our dad passed away (he has health problems so it may happen sooner rather than later). I then nonchalantly mentioned it wouldn't be perfectly even because my mom and our dad have shared finances, assets, etc. so in their will my full-blooded little sister and I would be recieving more than her and my half-brother. She was honestly pretty hurt to hear that and did not think my little sister and I deserved that because my mother has been part of her life since she was 6 and she has two children who are owed something. She is now mad at my mother and our dad. My dad thinks I am TA for saying anything. My mother stands by the decision in their will because while she has been part of my half-siblings lives she has never over stepped boundaries and acted like their mother because they already had a mother who had almost full custody of them. Also, my half-siblings have a mother and step-father who are going to give them stuff when they die. My little sister and I on the other hand will not be recieving inheritance from two households like them. I'm not saying that they will recieve nothing but it will just not be equal to my little sister and I. I just don't know how to feel about it but my dad is very upset with me and I feel really crappy about the whole thing. ######

Response:
 NTA

If I understand this, you will be getting an inheritance from your mom and dad. She expects to get an inheritance from her mom, her dad, her step-dad, ***and*** your mom. That doesn't seem to add up.

Regardless, the division of the will is up to your mom and dad, and not her. ######


Prompt:
Some people at my school signed a contract to rent a club house for prom and decided to go full out (litteraly no specifics from them), the problem is is that they demand 190$ from everyone (150 people) but almost no one paid except the organizers friend's and they almost got sued for not paying.
I really don't want to go since i don't like a lot of people there, im single and have no interest in anyone in this school and my friends dont plan to go either, AmITheAsshole?( To clarify i did not sigh any contract) ######

Response:
 NTA

If I understand this right, someone is essentially demanding that you chip in on an event that you don't wish to actually attend?

Don't pay. They don't have the right to preemptively obligate you to this. Most proms I have heard of sell tickets. If you don't buy all that happens is you can't go. ######


Prompt:
About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time.

About two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet.

The issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice.

Here is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments.

He also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me.

This is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house.

Would I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it?

Tdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?

Edit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######

Response:
 NTA

If he's not mature enough to realize that pulling out is not a viable contraceptive method, he's certainly not mature enough to raise a child. You know that you're not ready to be a mother, and you are entirely within your rights to make the decision about what to do. ######


Prompt:
I’m on mobile so I apologize. (22f)

So (big surprise) I’ve been having a ton of trouble finding a job during COVID. Since I just graduated from college, I’ve been applying everywhere to any job I can think of that’s remote or in my state. I heard back from a few but nothing was working out.

Then, a few days ago I heard from this one company that claimed to be a big financial firm. I agreed to a phone interview and they sent me a few videos about the history of the company and the set up and compensation and etc. I watched them when they were sent to me so about 6 hours before my interview.

The guy called me and we started talking. Right away he’s condescending, saying things like “I didn’t girls even understood economics” (I was an econ major). He then took to quizzing me on these two videos. I mean full on test format. When I couldn’t remember the exact year the company was founded and the names of all the founders, he said “yeah I’m just trying to figure out if you even watched our videos or if you were off wasting your time”. Between this and his blatant sexism, I couldn’t take it. I just hung up.

My friends think I’m TA here because a job is a job no matter how miserable. I think I made the right choice. After all, I don’t want to work somewhere with THIS being the first impression. Plus I rewatched one of the videos and this is 100% an MLM.
But still, I feel a little bad. So Reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If he was this unprofessional in the interview when he is supposed to be practically trying to court you to come work there, fuck knows how bad he would be once you were actually working there.

Big red flags and you were right to drop it right then and there. ######


Prompt:
Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.

When I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.

15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.

I snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson”

AITA ######

Response:
 NTA

If he put them away to keep them safe that would be one thing. But "teaching people lessons" is reserved for parents and teachers, and only when they're actually teaching not scaring ######