Prompt:
Background: My boyfriend recently passed away unexpectedly. Today was my best day since I found out, but it’s still a struggle getting out of bed.

His funeral services are tomorrow, and I would love to see him one last time, but there’s an issue. My boyfriend is trans, and his family constantly deadnames/misgenders him, even with all of this going on (and them being very aware of his being on Testosterone, and also planning to get top surgery.) I fully expect them to bury him in female clothing, and that truly pains me to see.

I feel as if they aren’t mourning who he REALLY was, and as I just said a moment ago, that hurts a lot. I am planning holding our own services with some of our best friends, where we truly mourn who he really was.

So, WIBTA if I didn’t go? ######

Response: NTA. You have very solid reasons, and don't even **need** solid reasons. You need to take care of you.  Honor him as you know he would have wanted.  Funerals are for the living.  He would want you to do what makes you most comfortable. ######


Prompt:
Follow up on my previous post[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/di82hm/aita_told_moms_boyfriend_was_being_a_cnt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

Basically I (19m) got into a fight with my mums boyfriend after he berated me for disrespecting my mother for there being clothes pegs on the ground and it ended with him calling me a little asshole and me saying he’s being a c*nt. Realising this blowup would wreck my mums relationship I tried to apologise twice, one of those times in front of my mum to prove I was being sincere.

He broke up with my mother for the second time in a month over this and said they could get back together if she kicks me out of the house immediately. She called up her family and caused all this drama to try and kick me out and although most were sympathetic they said I should leave. So after my semester at uni finished last year I have left home and am living with a flat mate and my sister who’s relationship with my mum is also strained.

My mother never got together with her boyfriend and has met a new guy who is amazing and hates the last boyfriend for what he did.

My mum has pretended like she never kicked me out and we still see each other every week for dinner. She never apologised for choosing her boyfriend over me and it’s always bugged me knowing she doesn’t have my back. My relationship with her side of the family is pretty strained now and although I love my mum and tried to work things out with her it’s been 6 months since I left home and I still kind of resent her.

WIBTA if I cut her off? ######

Response: Nta. You have to do what’s best for you and she clearly doesn’t respect you or care about you. She cares more about what a bf thinks and she is the ah. ######


Prompt:
My (32m) sister (45f) sister has always been there for me. Because we have such an age difference, she has been my second mother. Our mother is still alive but she dumped my onto my sister to take care of me. With her love and support, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot. We are super close and I consider her my best friend. I have always sent her a mother days gift
And flowers because I always want to remind her how much she means to me and, I am grateful for all of her sacrifices. She didn’t have to raise me but she did and I love her very much. My wife thinks it’s super weird and and gross. She says that I shouldn’t be equating my sister to my mother and that I have mommy issues because of this. She says that my sister should stay my sister and, because she has her own kids, I shouldn’t be giving her anything. I explained that she didn’t grow up as I did ( she and her siblings are close but not as close as my sister and I). I also told her that it’s none of her business if I send my sister a Mother’s Day gift because it’s my gesture. She got upset and is not talking to me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You have the same age difference between me and my sister :) And while my mother was always a wonderful parent, my sister would babysit and help my mother whenever she could. I’ve gotten them both Mother’s Day gifts as long as I can remember. ######


Prompt:
I have a babysitter who watches my two young girls while me and my husband go to work. She brings her daughter with her. She’s always been great. One day, she was about 10 minutes late which made me late for work. It’s fine because it hasn’t happened before, and she apologized and I thought we were all good.

A day later, she lets me know that she had been helping my daughter on her iPad and some texts popped up between me and my husband. I was complaining to him that the babysitter was late that morning and it made me late to work. Well, she kept reading and read all our texts for the past month. I had also complained to him once that our babysitter had eaten all our Oreos. It was just funny banter, and I got over it quickly but I was still whining. I would have never said anything to her about it.

Anyway, the babysitter texted me the night before she was supposed to watch my kids next that she was quitting because of those texts she read. She was really hurt I would complain about her to him. I feel horrible but also violated that she read all our texts. I apologized for what I said but I still feel sad about it all. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You have the right to vent in private to your husband. You forgave her, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect your day.
She violated your privacy. AND she had to go back a month before finding anything else about her. If you text with any frequency, that’s a lot of personal texts for her to have gone though. Any hurt she feels is her own fault.

I would have fired her for reading through the texts. Seeing the one that popped up is one thing. Looking back through is another altogether. ######


Prompt:
Restaurants opened up here recently for dine-in.  My husband has 2 autoimmune diseases and is a disabled veteran.  My mother is 69 and Diabetic and lives with us.  I am diabetic and having surgery in 10 days.

My daughter (26) mentioned she was going to eat with friends tonight.  I asked if she was going to a restaurant and she said yes.  Given the above, and the current health crisis, I told her to please not go to a restaurant.  She slammed away from the table, slammed her chair into the table and stormed out.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You have REALLY valid concerns and there’s a chance for it to be dangerous for you guys. She overreacted to the max.

Stay safe. ######


Prompt:
It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged...

I have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies.
I blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else.

I told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday.

I got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day.

Am I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######

Response: NTA. You have put the day aside plus blocked off half of the day before. If she wanted you to give up your Friday she should have said something earlier. NTA ######


Prompt:
Just for context: I (F18) have dated a guy (M22) for about 9 months, but never really loved him. He knew it, because at the first time he asked me, I denied, saying that I only see him as a friend. So he told me that if I didn't date him, he wouldn't have a reason to live - I was sooooo worried that I ended up accepting. We had a really bad relationship and broke up several times, but he always came to my door crying to ask for a chance and I was too afraid to deny since I knew what he would do.

In January, I received a very good job offer in another city, so I won't work with him anymore. A couple days after I started to work, he broke up with me. The inner me was so glad that he did it, to be honest.
Months without seeing him and working in a good place, I finally discovered that I'm lesbian. That explains a lot in our relationship as a couple.
His friends found out my twitter and saw me talking about Pride Month, 2 of them even replied to me saying that I was just confused because I had dated a guy before.
I didn't care at first, but an ex friend of mine texted me saying that I'm destroying his life because everyone is making fun of him for making me 'turn out as a lesbian' and I told her that it's not my problem because I have no control of what they do and say, she said that I'm insensitive towards him because I know he has problems with depression and anger, which is true.
(Don't be so focused on our relationship. This is about my decision to come out knowing all his problems). ######

Response:
 NTA. You have no responsibility to his life or how he is teased; you're just living your life.

Also, just because someone has problems with depression and anger doesn't mean you should selectively closet yourself because you think living your life might cause a reaction in them. If they are reacting to you living your life, without you interacting with this person or antagonizing them in anyway, that is their problem and not yours.

Again, NTA. ######


Prompt:
She’s my father’s daughter, and was born shortly before the start of the pandemic. The pandemic isn’t why I’m not visiting, rather due to the lack of a relationship with my father.

My parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad played the whole ‘I’ll make plans to come visit you, but never show up’ game for years - about up to the time of me being around 13.  I was very upset with him when he tried actually popping into my life during my early teens, and told him I was disowning him.
After a few years of him weathering me down, I’m in a somewhat cordial relationship with him now. He messages me ceaselessly with “Good morning Beautiful” and “Hi princess” (which makes me feel uncomfortable because guys trying to get in my pants say stuff like that, not my dad ew), and gets very upset and accusatory whenever I don’t message him back.

Now he’s had a daughter, and desperately wants me to visit her. Only problem is that I don’t see him as a dad and whatever blood me and that kid share is akin to being from a blood donation in my mind. He’s basically some annoying weirdo trying to guilt trip me into having a bond with him, and despite me bringing it up several times he just doesn’t realize that he has to actually put effort into forming a bond.
(Guilt trip level like 100, accusing me of turning my back on my family and history and of hating him and blah blah blah. )

So, AITA for not visiting my “sister”.
Pandemic stay at home not withstanding, because that’s not the reason I’m not visiting. ######

Response: NTA. You have no obligation to visit them; he has been putting the minimum possible effort to have a relationship with you. ######


Prompt:
My entire childhood and adolescence life I strived to be this independent woman. I am now 27 and a housewife.

The other day I drove to my hometown to visit with a few friends (restrictions have been laxed in my province). We were catching up talking about our lives and having a blast. Of course our careers came up in conversation. Both are well established in their respective fields. Previously I was working in healthcare and they were surprised I am no longer working.

They ask why. I reply, "My partner is doing very well in his field and are financially well, he even has gotten two promotions since working for this company after three years! We decided since my health is not the best it would be beneficial for me to stay home and take care of the house." Also, my partner works out of town for a month at a time and I was working full time, so splitting house work is not very feasible.

We continued our night having a few drinks and playing games. The next day as I'm driving home I recieve a few texts saying along the lines of, "we're glad you're doing well but I cant believe you had the balls the rub it in our faces that you are not working and are a housewife. We thought you were a feminist and had more respect for yourself "

I am proud of my partner, I thought I explained my life choices in a non intrusive way. But now I am starting to think otherwise.

So Reddit, AITA for leaving my career to take care of the home?

TLDR; Left my career in healthcare to become a housewife. Which upset my friends who are "woke" as I also bragged about my financial situation. ######

Response:
 NTA. You have made valid life choices. Don’t let these women bring you down. Who knows what baggage they are carrying that made them react this way.

Feminism should embrace all choices a woman can make for herself. It doesn’t prescribe a single life path. ######


Prompt:
Recently my grandad has been in hospital for a reason I’m not sure I can mention, but you can probably guess. Prior to that he had other health complications so I thought it’d be nice to get all of my cousins to make a video for him wishing him to get well soon and that we all love him. I have a pretty big family so it was a bit of a nightmare.

Now here’s the issue, we weren’t sure when my grandad would be released from hospital, so I gave everyone a deadline to send me a video to include. They had two days to make me a 10 second video. Easy, right? Wrong..

Everyone apart from one cousin managed to send me a video, and to be fair I completed the video and sent it to my grandad. Since then all hell has broken loose. My aunt thinks I’m the devil, and that I purposefully didn’t include my cousin to be mean (I didn’t.. I sent multiple reminders and she promised she’d get it to me and then didn’t). Now she’s stirring the pot with my other aunts, and one of them thinks I purposefully didn’t include her grandson because he has a speech problem I wasn’t even aware about because they live on the other side of the world and I’ve never met him (he’s like 3). I specifically asked my cousin/his dad to include him but for some reason he didn’t and only sent one of himself which was fine I thought.

So now my aunt is pissed at me for making my 14yo cousin cry because she wasn’t able to send me a video in time, and my other aunt who I actually get on with thinks I didn’t include her grandson because of a speech impediment I didn’t even know about.

This was supposed to be a nice thing for my grandad but now everyone hates me.
Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You have given them enough chances to complete the video and they didn't. You are perfectly entitled to send the video to your grandfather as you have kept the two day deadline. ######


Prompt:
My mum has always been pretty dramatic, she is a severe alcoholic and I would have cut her out of my life completely already if it weren’t for me trying to stay in contact with my two step sisters (aged 9 & 10) who still live with her. I (24f) don’t live with them.

She has caused a major string of events this year already which has taken a major strain on my mental health. My dad and other sister (30f) who refuse to speak with my mum keep reminding me how she’ll never change and she’ll only continue to make me feel worse about myself.

I tried begging my mother to give up the alcohol for a while and hopefully rekindle our relationship, and I was really proud of her 26 day achievement.. but then she relapsed hardcore.

This time she was vulgar and rude, she degraded me in ways which I took really personally. She mentioned how I failed to do certain things in the past and perhaps I should try harder in the future..

I stopped talking to her, I blocked and deleted her.
Fast forward-
I had her children (my step-sisters) over on Saturday.. mum called off sisters phone.. mum was drunk again at 11am demanding to talk to me.
I was reluctant but had no choice to talk to her, she was curious as to why I have blocked her.. she does not remember any of the drunkenly rude things she said to me and more importantly, she said “well I’m not gonna apologise for something I don’t remember saying” “you’re the one with issues, we’re family, I thought we were friends”

I hung up and blocked her. I was upset with her response and felt it was unfair.

I’m tired of having to ‘forgive and forget’.. I’m tired of the fact that she makes me feel like garbage about myself.

basically.. AITA for not giving my mum an explanation for why I no longer want to speak to her? ######

Response: NTA. You have given her a plethora chances and she has thrown each one out the window. ######


Prompt:
I recently found out that the ring my fianceè proposed to me with is the same ring he used several years ago to propose to a girl he ended up not marrying. She didn't say no, but she left him like two weeks before their wedding. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but all I can think about is them when I look at the ring, not us.

WIBTA if I asked if we could pick out a different ring together, something that was for us instead? ######

Response: NTA. You have every right to want your own ring, that isn't at all unreasonable. ######


Prompt:
My son is 5 years older and ever since his first word I've been speaking to him in Arabic just as my mother did with me. He's picking the language up pretty quickly and I'm also teaching him French and German as I know it's easier for children to pick up languages. I've also been teaching him about Islam through bed time stories and he's started to copy me when I do my prayers which just melted my heart.

Before he was born I had a discussion with my wife that I'd like to raise our Children as Muslims but I'm not going to force it upon them and they can choose when they grow up. I did have my son circumcised however, with my wife's consent, for medical reasons as well.

It's currently the month of Ramadan which means I'm fasting from sunrise to sunset, when my son learn this he wanted to copy me. He was having lunch with my wife whilst I was working in my office and asked where I was. He then refused to eat and said he wanted to be like me. I had a talk with him and explained he was too young and he needs to eat so he can be big and strong like me. He still wants to try however so we agreed on him doing half days like we usually do with children.

My wife is very unhappy however and has said that it's unfair we're bonding over so many things and she feels like he's ignoring her. She agreed that languages are useful to him, but she wants me to stop teaching him Arabic and wants me to do my "Muslim stuff" away from him. ######

Response:
 NTA. You have every right to teach your child your cultural heritage and language(s). Your wife also has the right to bond with him over her cultural practices as well. Neither of you should interfere with either of you bonding with your son.

Frankly, your wife is probably just jealous. He’s a little boy and he seems to be at an age where he idolizes you as his male role model. Don’t pull back on your role, but give your wife additional opportunities to bond by proposing dates with mommy, or fun activities just with mom. ######


Prompt:
Firstly, I know this sounds weird but bare with me.

I’m a 15 year old girl(?) and suffering from diagnosed depression. I was crying in my room and my mum walked into my room and started saying things like “be happy!” “You can’t be sad all the time” “it isn’t that bad” “you’re self-pitying!” And I lashed out. I told her I was depressed and blah blah blah. She told me to just bE hApPy ArOuNd HeR and I screamed “NO! I CAN’T JUST BE HAPPY WHEN IM F*CKING DEPRESSED” she then left and it’s been a day. She came into my room a while ago and told me I wasn’t depressed,that I was being dramatic and I shouldn’t have to go to the school councillor. She’s starting to make me confused. Can you someone please tell me if I’m in the wrong? ######

Response:
 NTA. You have diagnosed depression so a medical professional with years of training has confirmed your state.  You're not making it up, it's real and as someone who also suffers, you have my sympathy.

All of my friends know and understand this is who I am but I did used to say to people.  "I had a friend tell me to 'get over' my depression so I broke his leg and told him to 'walk it off'." ######


Prompt:
So my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable.  He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.

Edit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ######

Response: NTA. You have a right to be uncomfortable about anything remotely sexual involving another person! ######


Prompt:
Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.

My parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.

Husband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.

My husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You have a point and I think you should definitely have follow up conversations about it. Is he giving her a lot of money? When you have kids, how do you see raising them? Kids are really expensive not to mention birthing them can be expensive if you have any complications. How many children do you want? How are you saving now? These are all things that would be good to think about then talk to your husband. It may help if you have a budget outlined and show him how giving her that money takes away from the future of your kids. You need to be looking towards retirement too because you don’t want to be a burden on your children because you spent your money on her instead of saving.

I don’t necessarily think your husband is an AH either. But he needs to think about how this affects his own future. It doesn’t make him a bad son if he stops helping but he may need to work through that with you and a marriage counselor. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend told me that she wanted to show me an interesting prayer in her religion (she's Hindu btw and I'm a Catholic). I told her very politely that I will watch her say the prayer and not do it as I don't believe in her gods.

Christianity is based on monotheism and I cannot pray or worship another god, but I shall definitely stand and respect all gods and rituals and definitely celebrate their festivals.

She got offended and said that I wasn't tolerant towards other religions and that I was disrespecting her God, religion and beliefs by not taking part.

She then told me that when she was in a Christian school, she said all her prayers to Jesus. I told her that was a personal choice and that my belief is that there is only one God and all other religions are praying to different forms of that God.

She wouldn't listen to any of it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You handled this exactly right, you were respectful toward her religion without violating your own religious beliefs. ######


Prompt: I (18F) live with my mom, dad, eldest sister(26F), her husband (23M) and their three little girls(9,7,1) I have spinal problems due to a stair incident in 7th grade. Blah blah blah pandemic keeps me from doctors blah blah losing mobility in hips down blah blah need cane and constant medication to walk normally. I’m upstairs doing my coursework and my cane is hanging on the chair next to me. My sister comes up to feed the baby and moves my cane. Which usually is, like, whatever, i move it to my lap or on the back of my chair. But this time she moves it a few feet out of reach near the kitchen counter. Still whatever, I just point out that I can’t reach my cane from there and she says ‘well it’s not like your going anywhere anyways’ which, rude, but fair enough I’m working at that moment so it’s whatever. I pause my work and play with the baby. I help feed her, everything is fine, I’m getting tired and my sister takes the baby when she’s done eating. She’s in the kitchen and I need to get up so I can go and rest but my cane’s too far. My sisters husband comes upstairs with a sippy cup and before he passes me I ask ‘Hey (HISNAME), can you pass me my cane? (SISTER) put it too far’. Cue sister getting huffy and her husband rolling eyes asking how I could be blaming her. I’m tired, I just want to nap. He hands me my cane I bid them adieu and leave to take my nap. Sister is offended by this whole interaction. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You handled it very nicely. Your sister and her husband sound like jerks. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not changing my wedding date to make my sibling feel better?

My sibling was supposed to be getting married in October of this year. I am planning to get married to my fiancé in October of next year (we picked October as it is near our dating anniversary). Due to COVID19, my sibling is having to cancel their wedding and are changing their date to next year. My sibling wants me to change the date of my wedding so that our weddings aren’t so back to back. I haven’t committed to any vendors yet so I could, but feel I shouldn’t have to.

AITA if I don’t change want to change the date? ######

Response: NTA. You had this date and it means something to you. They can choose a different date ######


Prompt:
So my (33F) daughter is 16 and my sister is 23.

My sister is obsessed with her instagram, like she posts 3-4 times a day, she’s got an “appearance” and “standards”

My daughter has struggled with her weight for a while, she’s 1.8metres tall (?) And 13stone, our goal is to get her down to 11stone.

My sister took a picture of her and my daughter and posted it on Instagram, my daughter was really excited but when she checked it she got really upset - she hasn’t left her room yet.

My sister had heavily edited the picture so my daughter looked skinny.

I was extremely angry and phoned my sister to tell her to take it down/ post the unedited photo, she refused telling me that she just wanted to show the world what a beautiful girl my daughter was and that she promotes health.

My daughter is trying to lose weight, it isn’t her fault *and* she’s a beautiful, growing girl! My sister has crushed her.

So I commented “I’m ashamed, my daughter is beautiful without the heavy editing going on in this photo, be ashamed *sister* for body shaming a teenager, take this down immediately and apologise”

My sister didn’t see it in time and got a bunch of negative comments, she took it down but phoned me in tears saying I hurt her and that she’s sorry but she didn’t mean it etc.

My husband thinks that I went overkill.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You had the courtesy to call her and ask her first. She is only upset because you called her BS in the comments section. She only removed the photo because she was afraid for her 'branding' and appearing tone deaf. ######


Prompt:
Just to preface this, my wife is wonderful and almost never gets me upset, and I’m just making this thread to see if I did something wrong and need to apologize to her.

So I was talking with my two friends, one who just moved across the country, and we were planning a gaming night to catch up and spend time together.

My wife mentioned later that day that my family was having a birthday party for my niece, but told me she was just gonna go. Normally she’ll ask my to come, and since she said only she was going, I assumed it wasn’t a big thing and she was just going to visit her family.

So she goes to the party and has fun, and I’m getting ready for the game night. Then, about one hour before my friends and I said we were gonna play, my wife starts calling and texting me, telling me she wished I was at the party too (which is understandable because we always have fun together at parties), but then she started making me feel bad about not going, even though I already told her I was going to be with friends that day.

She called me in front of her family and they would always take her phone so they could yell at me and tell me “it’s your nieces birthday today” and “don’t play games with your friends, you’re always in your room playing games” (even though I’m not, I’m usually working in my room). And I got frustrated and started ignoring my wife’s calls because at this point it felt like she was just getting mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends because she wanted me to be at a party with her.

Also for the record, I ALWAYS go to family parties with her and this is the first one I’ve skipped, which made me really upset that the one time I didn’t go was the biggest deal to her and my family.

TL;DR: Made plans to play games with friends, wife tells me later that there’s a family birthday party but it’s okay if I don’t go. Once she’s at the party she changes her mind and gets mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends to go to the party with her ######

Response: NTA. You had plans, and she knew. Trying to get you to break a commitment that late in the game is rude. ######


Prompt:
So, I've been living with her for almost 4 months now and recently I started to have issues about my personal space being invaded while I'm working.

Last time it happened I had to make an evaluation online and she didn't stop trying to be all over me or in front of the pc screen so, obviously, I told her to go into her room and let me alone because this was something important and I didn't wanted to be bothered.
She left, I closed her door and could hear inside of her room, making angry sounds and throwing stuff.
I have to be honest, I really like to have her around me and cuddle together but not all times, I really need my space sometimes and just can't let her crawl all over myself just because she feels cold or unattended.

So, AITA for don't let her do what she wants? I know it's just a cat but she's really upset with me. ######

Response: NTA. You had me in the first half, not gonna lie. ######


Prompt:
Due to current global circumstances all our staff meetings are through a zoom like platform.

While we were waiting for the office manager to get on, everyone was showing off their pets and then the moms in there group started to talk about their kids, etc.

My coworker (35F), lets call her Z, was talking her daughter (7) being stubborn and “unwilling to do anything she doesn’t want.” Ya know. It’s whatever, nobody cared cause this meeting wasn’t about people’s children or their parenting. I basically forgot she said anything about her kid.

This is where I may have been an ass:
At the end of our meeting Z grabbed her daughter walking by and shoved her in front of the camera and said “here’s miss brat who never listens!” and I just got annoyed and said “we love strong women, don’t change!”

It’s just a personal annoyance of mine when people talk down about their kids, but I’m not a parent. So I really can’t say whether or not that’s normal, but as someone who came from an abusive home growing up, it rubbed me the wrong way.

My other coworker after the meeting said that was a dick move but I don’t think I was being an ass, just trying to make light of a weird way to describe and then show off your child. AITA?

If I am an asshole, I’ll say sorry to Z but she hasn’t said anything to me directly but I could tell it annoyed her.
(Also, I’m 25F to make it more clear) ######

Response: NTA. You had like 1 second to think of a response to someone deciding to humiliate her kid by calling her names in front of a crowd of unfamiliar adults. I think it was a great response that supported the kid without being directly hostile or nasty to the mom. ######


Prompt: This happened last year, but I've had it on my mind for a while lately and want an outside opinion. Last year, I found out I was pregnant and my husband (29M) and I (26F) were ecstatic. An important thing to note is that while we hadn't told some friends and acquaintances about the pregnancy, our immediate families/close friends were made aware after a couple weeks. One of the screenings came back with abnormal results, and after getting diagnostic tests done it was basically 99% confirmed that our baby had severe genetic disorders. If our child was born, it would almost definitely not be able to have a normal life and would need a full-time caretaker. My husband and I both work demanding jobs with long hours, and we live in a city with crazy rent prices that would make it unaffordable if one of us quit full-time for good. Also, as awful and selfish as it sounds, I was only 25 and deep down didn't want to spend the rest of my life caring full-time for a child that might never get to experience a full life. So we aborted the baby. According to both of our families and even some close friends, we're the worst people on the planet. My MIL accused us of trying to "forget" about the baby because some people still don't know I had been pregnant (I didn't have much of a belly at all and honestly just looked like I'd gained 10 extra pounds) and hasn't spoken to us in months, and my sister said that it's evil that we're still planning to try for another baby soon, and if I'd "just keep aborting" until I got a "normal kid". So, was I an asshole? My husband and I took the decision we thought would be the best for us, but I know it wasn't right to abort the baby just because of its problems it was definitely not an easy decision. ######

Response: NTA. You guys did what was best for you and that’s all that matters. Millions of women - including me - would have done exactly the same thing. ######


Prompt:
New account for privacy.

I (39F) have been with my boyfriend (40M) for a little over two years. Recently, I have come into a significant amount of money that would allow me to quit my day job and pursue my dream career, or if saved and invested carefully, retire fully. I haven’t disclosed this information to my boyfriend.

I love him, and he says he loves me. Toward the beginning of our relationship, there was a lot of discussion about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. Both of us are divorced and this would be a second marriage for us.

My issue is that his ex-wife and him are still very friendly. They share no children but communicate daily and even have platonic lunches and dinners together. When asked about this, he stated that there will be a part of him that always cares for her and that he needs to be there for her because she doesn’t have anyone else, especially now during the pandemic. I am trying to be understanding about this.

I haven’t told him about my recent windfall because I don’t want him to feel pressure to cut her out of his life and choose me because of the money. I also don’t want to feel obligated to help his ex financially because they are still close friends (which could be a possible conversation that comes up). I do want him, and there’s no one I’d rather share this good fortune with. Everything else in our relationship is going well, and I do feel he could be the one.

He is in a very good job that he can support himself with, although he doesn’t at all enjoy his work. I could offer him a way out of it and I feel guilty about keeping this from him. At the same time, I would like to know how he sees us moving forward before I tell him about the money. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You guys aren’t married so you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell him about this money. I would communicate to him that him being extra friendly with this ex wife is really bothering you. I dont think you should tell him unless you are certain he’s in it for the long run. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not helping out my stepmom in caring for my father?

My father and his wife have a 22 year age gap. I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and maybe call him once a year on his birthday. His health has worsened in the last few years and now needs assistance to perform his day to day normal activities

Their daughter is 13 and obviously can't help much. Since they live in another state, I've tried to offer help by sending them money. I even told his wife that maybe it's time he is sent to a nursing home. She got really offended at the idea and told me that she wouldn't abandon him.

She wants me or my sister to come down to their state to help her out. I honestly don't know how. We are currently caring for our mom and stepdad. Our stepdad is going through chemotherapy, and we are looking after him and mom.

It's just not possible for us to move to another state right now.

I understand that she is doing it all alone. But I don't know I can help. She's not willing to move him to a home.

AITA ? ######

Response:
 NTA. You guys aren’t close, and it’s unreasonable of her to assume you’d move to another state to take care of him when he needs it. That’s not how it works, especially when you’re already taking care of your stepdad.

I’m sorry btw. It sounds like a lot to go through. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I share a bathroom. The bathroom has two towel hangers.

Recently my sisters towel hanger  broke off and now it needs to be completely replaced. She absolutely refuses to go and buy a replacement and install it.

Instead she has just been using my towel hanger. She will slide mine over so hers can fit too. Which I find gross. It’s been annoying the fuck out of me. So each time she does it I take her towel and put it in her laundry basket.

Now she has started to do the same thing with my towel even though it’s my towel hanger.

Im tired of going into the bathroom only to find my towel in the laundry basket all gross and damp, so today I went and just removed my whole towel rack and hid it. I got some hooks for the back of my bedroom door to use instead.

She got pissed off and came barging into my room to ask why happened to it.

I just said it was gone.

She asked what I meant and what happened to it.

I said I would put it back when she fixed her.

She said I was being childish and if I just shared mine it wouldn’t even be an issue. ######

Response: NTA. You guys already determined that each of you would have their own separate towel hanger. And I am sure her towel was not drying along with yours. ######


Prompt:
Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling.

Then suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, "Goddamn!" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time.

I got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You get to react to someone farting in your face, regardless of whether they’re embarrassed by it or not. ######


Prompt: (TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You get to feel however you want. It is your life and your process. Just because you feel one way now doesn’t mean that won’t change in the future, and if your feelings stay the same then those are still your feelings - they only exist for you to feel them, not for others to judge. ######


Prompt:
So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no.

Fast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.

And that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying "I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather." I told her "he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision.

Reddit AMTA? ######

Response: Nta. You get to decide who you want attending your wedding. I’m not sure, were I you, that I’d even want my mother there. ######


Prompt:
I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.
Anyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.
A few months later I had a work party to celebrate a new employee joining. I invited Lana to join. We were having a good time, then I got up to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the group, I heard her loudly telling my coworkers and my boss that I was a lesbian and she even used the “F word “to describe me. When she saw me walking towards the group she changed the subject.
Not wanting to cause a bigger scene I waited until after the party to confront her. She told me that I was “hearing things” and that I shouldn’t trust my own eyes and ears because I was probably drunk.  I wasn’t.
So I stopped talking to her. A few days later she called me and admitted she said it but said that she won’t apologize for telling people the truth.
After that day I reflected on our friendship and realized how toxic she was. And her l
narcissistic tendencies.
But some of our mutual friends that she told the story to said that I overreacted, that I am an asshole for not accepting her “apology”. ######

Response: NTA. You get to decide who knows and when you tell them. Your safety could be at risk and she is publicly outing you? Cut her off ASAP ######


Prompt:
Back story: My 13 year old sister suffers with anxiety and wants my mother to drive her around for hours. We were sharing a car that I bought, the mileage was rapidly increasing, I had to rely on my mother to pick me up as she always had the car. I cut my losses, gave my mother the car and purchased a new car.

Present issue: break light on mother’s car is out and have been like this since March. She’s now using my car to drive my sister around for hours a day. It’s an old car and I’ve asked her not to drive it around this way. They’re messy and leave food and rubbish in there, which I feel is disrespectful.
I’ll need it for travelling to college everyday in September and I’m worried all the unnecessary driving will cause damage that I can’t repair.
When I do need the car, the petrol is below empty, so I need to fill it up for them to just blow through it again.

Mother and sister have been out all day again because my sister is crying and anxious. I empathise with her because I also suffer with anxiety. However, I don’t feel that driving around for hours is going to help her. My mother constantly moans how she cannot cope with driving around all day, yet is doing just that.

I’ve had stern words with my mother today due to her driving my car around again after I’ve filled the petrol tank and after I emphasise yesterday and this morning to please not drive it around. She’s offered to put £10 of petrol in, which is not even half of what they’re using. My mother is furious and I’ve had shitty text messages off my sister. I feel guilty because I know my sister is struggling and once again I’m the bad person for standing my ground. On the other hand I’m so frustrated because I’m not being respected or even listened to.

Am I being the asshole in this situation? ######

Response: NTA. You gave your mom the first car and that still wasn’t enough for her. She’s taking advantage of you. ######


Prompt: Last year my mom was diagnosed with pretty much a death sentence, ALS. I talked to my ex and he didn’t wanna just let me take our son( now 14). So we agreed to talk to him and let him know what was happening, kinda, I just told him grandma was really sick and I was thinking of moving to help out and he had the choice of coming w me or staying w his dad. It was painful but he choose to stay and I respected it, I just didn’t tell him how bad my mom was idk if that would have changed anything but I didn’t wanna guilt him or anything like that. I have friends who have said I should have let him know the extent of my mom illness and guilted my ex into letting my son move w me but I just can’t do that. He’s a teen and loves me and his dad and comes for the summer and spring break I can’t guilt him into wanting to live w me. It across the country like a 24 hr drive. I feel like an AH for not doing everything to get my son to live w me but I don’t want him to resent me for making him move, so tell me honestly AITA? ######

Response: Nta. You gave your child a choice and he chose then you respected his decision. Sounds like you need better friends. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.

But he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.

I don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.

He never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.

he's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him.

so, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You gave him lots of warning. You are planning on depositing his truck in a safe place that isn’t in front of your place. ######


Prompt:
Writing on mobile. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to include the messages as they were sent without using imgur.

My mum has a habit of taking photos of me and used to post them to the book of faces without asking. I have always been self concious about my apperance, and now that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and huge, my confidence in my apperance is non existant. I sent a photo of my bump to the family chat because she had been begging me too, and added a note that said

"Btw I know I don't need to say it, but please don't share that photo I put up" (directly copied).

 She then went on a compete rant which is a bit long, but here's the abridged version.

"I hope that I hv proved to all of un that I respect your privacy Hasn’t I I only post my garden and projects That keeps me restricted from the roof tops what I want to share about my pride of my immediate family I only wish my family would recognise and acknowledge that instead of constantly warning me not to breach that confidentiality As far as I’m aware I hv respected that wish By pretending it’s all about me And I seem to never get there Trusted ! Really? The grave Maybe"

(spelling errors ECT copied directly, sorry, her messages are always hard to translate).

I finished by leaving this;

"It's not about trust mum. I've never liked photos of me, now even less, but you said you wanted to see them and putting them here feels very vulnerable. I'd rather not comment anymore if everything I say is going to cause you offense."

So AITA? Do I need to apologise? ######

Response: NTA. You gave a simple warning that triggered her because she’s previously disrespected your requests but that is not your fault. ######


Prompt:
alright I've been working on a comic book for a bit, and I had used another Reddit page to look for an artist, I found a lot of good ones and I was about to choose them, but then I realized with the number of issues I would need and their prices, there would be no way for me to afford them.

In walks my buddy, who has been like a reviewer for my comic, I've sent him scripts and concept art to give me his opinion on, then two weeks he sends me a text while I'm on vacation and its a drawing of one of the three main characters...well it looked amazing, I was blown away, then last night he sent me two more sketches of other characters that have appeared and I swear it was like looking at a real comic book drawing.

I asked him after the first sketch if he'd want to be my artist for the comic, he said of course and that he while being supportive of me looking for an artist actually wanted to do it himself. so basically we made an agreement.

Well, my girlfriend's sister told me that I was being cheap not using these professional artists and instead was giving my buddy the job, she said these guys probably needed the job more than my friend and that I should tell my friend I changed my mind.

I told her no, and that I feel the comic would work better with two people who genuinely love the comic and not someone who's only gonna draw it on commission.

in my mind, I want like a Jack Kirby to my Stan Lee, Greg Capullo to my Scott Snyder, and Gary Frank to my Geoff Johns (if your not big into comics these are great teams that gave there all to there comics).

I even told her that it's not like my friends drawing for free when we finish the comic and end up selling it, I'm splitting the profit with him 50/50, and if we aren't able to sell I'm still paying him for his work.

But am I the asshole for going with my friend that I know, then an artist I don't? ######

Response: NTA. You found an artist - your friend. You like their style, they obviously want to work alongside you, you support each other. What more could you want! ######


Prompt:
I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.

End of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.

I've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You FIGHT for those grades! I've been a pain to a few teachers for stuff like that and yeah you feel a little guilty but your GPA definitely doesn't. ######


Prompt:
I'm a straight A student and an okay with a B if I know my work clearly reflects it. For this class, I have no grading platform (blackboard, google classroom) to tell me the grades of my assignments. I can partially rely on the professor to return my grades. Now, I've been told that I'm not good with explaining, but bear with me please.

End of semester and I get my final grades, all A's except for one B. This B is in that one class, so I email the professor to ask why I got a B and for advice on how I can do better in future classes. They gave me a break down of my grades and said I didn't turn in a few assignments (Keep in mind that I only know the grades that have been returned). I look through the list and notice they gave me a 0 for an assignment I turned in. It's a grade changer, so I check my emails and bam there it is, emailed to the correct person, turned in on time. I email them back to say I turned in this assignment on this day at this time. They say that they can't take it cause I may have turned it in late. I apologize for bringing this matter up after final grades and reply again with a screenshot and get almost the same answer. I decide to go to the chair to appeal. The chair says if I can provide proof, they can change my grade. I provide proof, they email my professor. Professor emails chair back saying they never got it- checked their spam, trash, everywhere and said some rude comment. Chair declined to change my grade. I debated on whether I should go to the dean of college. After getting some opinions, I email the dean and they decide to change the grade. So now I have an A in the class but I kinda feel like the AH because the professor was very understanding of my situation. I never missed a day in that class and only turned in one assignment late.

I've come up with many situations blaming myself for the B and have learned my lesson.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You earned your A fair and square. Your teacher's mistake is not your fault. You have every right to get the grade you earned. ######


Prompt:
My brother has a fursuit of some blue furry character, and I'm not sure why exactly, but seeing it makes me uncomfortable. Something about the huge eyes and huge head, in real life, but which are also inanimate while the large limbs are, maybe.

I try not to be a jerk about it or anything, but he thinks I was being a huge jerk about it by looking away from his direction when he wore it during the new year's ball drop on TV with the family a couple years ago.

I think it's fine that some people are furries. Outside of a rare occasion when I'm very obviously joking with other close friends that happen to be furry and *know* I'm joking about it (poking fun at the stereotype or something like that, though I know and acknowledge that not all furries are the stereotype -- and I usually even follow up the joke with a clarification, something like "to be clear, that's a joke"), I don't belittle or dislike furries as people at all.

But for some reason, fursuits just make me uncomfortable. AITA for this? ######

Response: NTA. You don’t seem to be shaming him in any way. Those kind of suits unnerve me too. Idek why. Disneyland freaked me out massively. ######


Prompt:
Woke up this morning to a group text my roommates are trying to kick me out. I want to know if others would think I’m an asshole in this situation or if my roommates are butthurt about what I did.

I live in a house with three other guys (four of us in the house). Last night around 2 am this drunk girl shows up to our house, screaming, banging on windows, banging on doors and crying for one of my roommates, lets call him Aaron. Aaron just ghosted this girl recently.

He goes outside and tries to console her and calm her down, and they start screaming at each other. She’s throwing shit at the windows, and my other two roommates get up to see what is going on. I’m just laying in my bed and staying in my room. I don’t want to deal with it.

They all get the girl to calm down, then they come banging on my door. They want me to pay for a Uber to take her home so that she gets the hell out of there. It’s $25 to get her home.

I’m told them hell no?

They started arguing with me, asking me to just help out so that the situation would be over. They assured me they would pay me back. I brought up the fact that I’m still waiting on $20 back from Aaron. I’m not too sure they could pay me back if they can’t come up with $25 between the three of them them to send her home. I said no, told them to get out of my room, and locked my door.

The screaming continued, and police ended up being called by my neighbors. They were given a noise citation, and arrested the girl. Everything quieted down until this morning.

All my roommates are pissed at me for not helping him get rid of this girl. I told them that it wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t know this girl. They want me to pay part of the noise citation or they want to “vote me out” of the house.

I know I could have made my life a little easier by paying for the Uber, AITA for not doing it? ######

Response: NTA. You don’t owe them anything, especially if one of the roommates already owes you money. I wouldn’t pay any of the citation costs, either. ######


Prompt:
Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.

My neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.

Out of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.

I haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You don’t owe anyone anything. Especially if you two aren’t close. It’s not like you’re making special medical grade equipment, you’re simply enjoying a hobby with your close friends/family and that does not give her the right to intrude upon that. ######


Prompt:
22F and 24F

Best friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.

She wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering.

She would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.

I told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.

She is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ######

Response: NTA. You don’t move in somewhere you can’t afford to pay for. ######


Prompt:
My older sister and I play pranks on each other occasionally. They’re usually minor stuff, like once she gave me ‘ice cream’ but it was frozen mayonnaise and once I taped down the spray tool in the kitchen so when she turned the faucet on it got her wet. Nothing major and nothing dangerous, just normal sibling fooling around.

On Sunday I woke up and my wheelchair wasn’t by my bed. Naturally, I kind of freaked out. I woke up pretty late and I could see my parents car wasn’t in the driveway, so I ended up calling my sister and asking her to come in to my room to see if she was home. She did, and pretended to act really confused.

Apparently her idea for the ‘prank’ was to pretend I’m not disabled. So she came in, I asked where my chair was and she was like “What do you mean? You can walk.” It didn’t take very long to figure out she was joking, but I didn’t find it funny and said so. She was on the verge of laughing the whole time. After asking several times for her to drop it, she didn’t. It was clear she thought it was absolutely hilarious and I didn’t.

I ended up calling my mom, who was out grocery shopping. Now my sister is grounded and she’s mad and says it’s my fault for being a snitch and not having a sense of humor. While it technically is my fault she’s in trouble, idk if I did anything wrong and if I was too sensitive or if she’s overreacting and it was a bad prank. ######

Response:
 NTA. You don’t joke [like that] about a disability. Also, if only one person is laughing ... chances are it’s a pretty shitty ‘joke.’

I’m also struggling to see what the outcome she hoped for was in this ‘prank?’ Like, you are in disbelief and actually try to walk .. and fall? And then she’s like ‘haha, gotcha!’

...Yeah I’m really not sure where she was going with this one.

EDIT: Brackets to indicate my original intent - I meant jokes that diminish (rather than address or express) the experiences and realities of disability. Thanks to the commenters for addressing my phrasing. ######


Prompt:
I (f26) have always struggled with my identity. I live in Europe and I’m 1/4 black, 3/4 white, but my skin is darker than you would expect for being only 1/4. I found it difficult growing up because even though I am technically more white than black, my skin isn’t white, so I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong to any group and have had some very bad experiences due to my skin colour.

There is a writers workshop that is currently promoting the black community, where people can discuss their experiences. I planned to join this workshop because I have experiences I would like to share, but when I told my bf, he said it was selfish for me to join the group because I’m only 1/4 black and the group isn’t meant for me. He also said the other people in the group won’t like it.

AITA here for still wanting to join? There isn’t a limit to how many people can join this workshop, so I’m not taking anyone’s space. And this raises questions that I have had my whole life but have never been able to talk to anyone about it. What exactly am I supposed to call myself? What is it that decides whether I am one way or the other? My experiences? The literal colour of my skin? Or my genetic makeup? ######

Response: NTA. You don’t have to pick a race, you’re biracial. ######


Prompt:
I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working.

I've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her.

When she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with.

She's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ######

Response: Nta. You don’t have to hire her just because she is your girlfriend. Sounds like she is trying to use you. ######


Prompt:
My mom died when I was 13 years old and
My dad remarried when I was 15
His new wife and stepsons. Was the boss
Anything and everything he will do it
I no longer was his son, or problems
They made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything
I was the outsider  this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always  tell me he   paying for your my college.

I'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank

My father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son
Yours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call

He call me every week and wife and in law
about me helping him

My wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad

I tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him

Am i the Asshole ######

Response: Nta. You don’t have to help him. It’s your money. ######


Prompt:
Quick overview - Been together almost 4 years, he lives in my house, didn’t bring much with him when he moved in, hasn’t contributed much to the home in all the time living here (I replace things that have broken/buy new purchases etc.), he is self employed and doesn’t earn a great deal so only contributes a nominal amount towards bills/food etc. We live in the UK.

Because of the pandemic he’s been unable to work and so he didn’t have to worry about finances, I offered to cover any financial outgoings until he can work again.

Recently he received a letter which he unknowingly dropped on the way to file them away. On finding it, I picked it up to take it to his office. I noticed that it was from our governments tax and revenue department stating they had given him a grant of a few thousand pounds owing to being self employed and unable to work. I handed it to him and didn’t mention anything about it.

Several days have passed and he has not told me about this and I continue paying for everything. Whilst I don’t expect him to tell me everything about his finances, considering the situation one would have expected him to say something, offer a gesture of paying towards the household etc. It’s concerning me as to what he is to do with the money considering he hasn’t mentioned it or spoken to me about it.

Thanks for listening and I look forward to hearing what you think of the situation. ######

Response: NTA. You don’t have a partner, you have a dependent. He’s lying to you and using you for his own financial gain. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)

I (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own)  and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.

The only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it.

After class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt.

I haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?

ETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ######

Response: NTA. You don’t ever have to wear a bra. Period. Your teacher has their own issues if they have a problem it. ######


Prompt:
My (15M) family wants to make a "family" youtube channel. My 5-year-old sister is a huge fan of these Disney parody channels. I think its called like TotalistTv. Basically they do real-life parodies of disney highschool and superhero things. I at least think it is really cringe, but I get its aimed at kids so whatever. They get crazy amount of veiws and money, and my family wants to do it. They think with the being shut inside, we have the perfect chance to get a good start. The problem is they want the whole family to.

My first thought was hell no, for multiple reasons. 1, I dont want my face all over the internet. 2, I think its kinda dumb. 3, I dont want to give away my freetime for this. I explained this to my parents, they got mad. Haven't been grounded but I can tell they clearly arent happy, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You don't want the social backlash that comes with it. If you bomb, you'll never live it down and the rest of HS will be a horror show for you. It's not worth it. How can your parents not have  taken this into consideration? ######


Prompt:
So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no.

Fast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.

And that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying "I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather." I told her "he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision.

Reddit AMTA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You don't that man any respect because he hasn't earned it. Your wedding is about your happiness. Don't give in to the pressure.

And congratulations on your upcoming wedding. ######


Prompt:
I (21F) had a friend who constantly meets random men online, which is ok but many of the guys she's met have ended up threatening her or stealing from her. We were talking about dating apps when I said the guys she meets make me uncomfortable and I don't really want to be around them. She seemed to understand and was ok with it.

One day later, we were going to hang out and I was going to drive us to another city about an hour away. She showed up with a guy she'd just met online. I was kind of mad because we'd literally just had this conversation and she didn't even tell me she was bringing him. It was kind of a long trip and I'd never met the guy, so I said I didn't want to go with him and we should go another day. She went home and we haven't talked since. If she would have asked me, I might have gone anyway even though I was extremely uncomfortable, but I felt a little disrespected as a friend and afraid for our safety.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You don't show up with a total stranger, especially without any warning. ######


Prompt:
So around 4-5 days ago, my (16M) mum got in a nasty argument with my older brother (17M) and as a result, demanded that all of our phones (mine, my younger sister's, 17M and my other older brother's) be confiscated and have the PINs replaced.

(NOTE: She also wanted our fingerprints to be removed as well.)

Although I had nothing to do with their dispute and had no reason to be punished, I didn't say anything and just handed my phone over. My mum was THAT angry. I'd ask my mum to unlock my phone for me to use for a while and that's how things were for the past couple of days.

This morning, I remembered a trick I learnt a while ago to force-reset my phone (no PIN needed) and I decided to pull it off. I forced factory-data reset my phone using the volume up key, lock and home button and after logging back into my Google account and data, I had my phone back - without my mum's PIN on it. I put my phone back in the charger and went to make my own breakfast.

A while later, my mum realised that I had removed her PIN on my phone (I think she might have tried to access it behind my back, but I'm not sure) and she was LIVID. She berated me, saying that this phone is not my money to begin with and going as far as to resetting my phone proves her point of how much of a phone addict I am.

Again, I wanted to bring up the point that she changed our PINs only because of an argument with my brother. But I didn't say anyhing in the hopes of not getting my mum more angry and hoping that everything would blow over (which luckily for me, it did).

Now I'm typing this AITA in secret and I want to get some broad perspective on this. Did I really take things too far? ######

Response: NTA. You don't punish all the kids cause one pissed you off. And trust is a two way street. She's not earning much, acting like this.... unfortunately... as a kid... short of pleading you case, or paying for your own phone... you're kinda boxed in... ######


Prompt:
Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was "too sleepy". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation.

During grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults  After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling.

Fast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh.

2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it.

Without any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward "hi, I think I'm your cousin", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me.

Apparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it.

I am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You don't owe someone a relationship when all they've done is hurt you. It sounds like you have healthy boundaries where your dad is concerned. You probably need the same for your cousins. ######


Prompt:
So my friend is planning her wedding, she scrapped what they already were planning because of the virus and moved the date. She already has a dress and is planning the theming again, and she asked me if she could wear my necklace because she thinks it goes well with the dress and the other stuff.

Now my necklace was a gift from my husband, he had it custom made by his uncle, and it’s one of those couples necklaces where the fit together, but it’s in a special shape from a project we were doing together while we were engaged. It’s kind of cheesy but I think it’s really sweet that he thought of that and it’s pretty personal to me. I wouldn’t lend it to my friend normally but especially at her wedding, I don’t know it would feel wrong having her wear something my husband had made personally for me.

I told my friend no, and she got annoyed and said what are friends for. I explained my reasoning and she called me silly and that it’s just a necklace and I should just lend it to her for one day, and that it’s not going to kill me. She brought up that I’ve borrowed clothes and jewelry from her in the past, and she’s used mine in the past, but I feel that this specific necklace would be a bit like her wearing my engagement ring during her wedding.

She’s mad at me now, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You don't owe it to her to lend something so valuable and personal. She's TA for dismissing the emotional significance it has. ######


Prompt: I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is "because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part." I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######

Response: NTA. You don't owe anyone kids. It's your life and your responsibility if you do have them. They just want you to have kids so they can call themselves a grandparent ######


Prompt: So me(13f) and my dad went to the dog park so my dogs could run.  I have two 30-40 lb dogs Max and Bell.  Then this lady comes in the dog park with 2 husky mixes. They are look like they are 60lbs ish.  So my dogs go to smell her dogs butt and then her dog just attacks my dog. Not like a gentle bite but angry and my dog screamed and ran away.  I was like woah and grabbed my dogs.  She tried calling her dog over to her but it didn't listen to her.  I told her she shouldn't be bringing an dog that clearly doesn't like other dogs to a dog park and she kinda got upset and left.  I felt bad but at the same time her dog attacked Max just for smelling her.  My dad said I shouldn't have said that because Max didn't get hurt.  My reasoning was that her dog didn't like other dogs and didn't go to her when she called it, it shouldn't be in a dog park. ######

Response: NTA. You don't have to let your dog get mauled just to be right. ######


Prompt:
A friend(f) of my girlfriend asked if she could borrow my laptop.

I assumed she was gonna check her email or social media or something.
She installed chinese government owned software that became part of the startup process.
And she installed a (chinese government) chrome extension that gave the extension full access to my browsing history and to modify websites that I visit. She clicked 'yes' to give permission for this.

I only discovered that these 2 apps were running in the background weeks later.

I told her in a pretty condescending way that to me it's common sense that:

\- you ask permission to install software on the device of someone else

\- you wanna uninstall it afterwards

She's 27, but i'm talking to her like she's a child.. AITA for that? ######

Response: NTA. You don't download shit to people's computers without asking. ######


Prompt: I was on a uni trip and spent the day talking to one to the organisers of the trip associated with the company that ran the trip (we met on the trip, I didn’t know him before). It was a bit flirty and we talked a couple times throughout the day and at the pres we talked for probably over/around half an hour. I didn’t hookup with him/kiss or have sex with him because I decided I wasn’t interested in him so just spent the rest of the time with girlfriends dancing, Talking etc. the next day, some friends of mine that I had met fairly recently so we weren’t super close but they were the only people I knew on the trip before I came on the trip, told me that I had hurt his feelings and offended him and he felt I had lead him on. They said that I should check in with him because I hurt his feeling. I thought and told them that I didn’t owe someone an apology or explanation for not being interested in them or talking to them and not following through with something sexual. AITA for not apologising or checking in with him? ######

Response: Nta. You don't actually owe him anything and I don't see why you should have to apologize for like a day's worth of socialisation followed by nothing. His feelings are valid but like you still don't owe him shit. ######


Prompt:
So we’re both vegan and have been for years.

Last year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have.

She’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food.

Unfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse.

We went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets.

We’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it.

We’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not.

They’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat.

We don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away.

This has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat.

Are we the assholes here?

[cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/QFng2By.jpg) ######

Response: NTA. You do care about animal welfare. That's why you're taking care of your animal with food that she will actually eat that otherwise would've just been thrown away. ######


Prompt:
My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, "I will ruin your fucking life".

After learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her.

Now that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful.

Recently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again.

Fed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent.

She is gone now.

My friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You discussed it with him and you made a smart decision not being around a girl willing to make false reports to ruin people's lives. Dodged a bullet there. ######


Prompt: My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday  covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ######

Response: NTA. You didn’t volunteer for a reason ######


Prompt:
So for context, I (20M) came out as gay to my parents in February last year. My mum was very accepting and kind but my stepdad was very much not so. He hates everyone that isn't straight and white, so me coming out as gay made me a disappointment in his eyes.

Fast forward a couple of months and my mum wanted to meet my boyfriend (now ex) so I did the ~300 mile round trip to drive me and my bf to meet my parents. My stepdad decided to send me a list of instructions on how to behave, which in short was basically "no PDA and no signs at all you're dating", which really hurt but we went along with it.

My mental health declined sharply over the next 7-8 months as everything for me went wrong. I broke up with my bf, got hit in a car crash and couldn't take the stress from work anymore. To say the least, my stepdad was not happy about me moving back in after losing my job and being unable to live in another town.

My mental health is improving now, but my relationship with my stepdad is heavily stained. We barely talk and I avoid him as much as I can.

Anyway, on topic - since I'm now living with my parents again I've been forced to spend time with my stepdad, much to both of our annoyance. Since I know he's a massive homophobe and hates me for it I decided to add some colour to my room. I have pinned up a 4×2 ft pride flag on my wall and replaced the strings on my guitar with multi-coloured ones. To say the least, he hates it. He has gotten worse with not just me but my mum and brother. Him and my mum have gotten into arguments over his disapproval of my sexuality and I hate that they are getting into arguments over me.

My mum has said that it was bad of me to put this stuff up as I knew it would annoy him, especially as he has gotten worse for everyone and I am refusing to remove the pride stuff from my room.

Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You didn’t paint the house or do anything to it which would be unreasonable - it’s their house after all, so if you’d painted it or something, that would cross a line probably. You changed the strings on your guitar and put up a reasonably small flag, the only problem with which is that it’s pride colours.

Your stepdad *sucks*.

I’m sorry they’re arguing but why is she even still with him? He’s openly homophobic and is aiming this at her son. Wtf? ######


Prompt: I was driving down Colfax which is a main Street in Denver the other day and I saw a lady taking pictures of a homeless person that was wearing a winter coat in 75° weather and passed out on their stomach like a starfish at bus stop in front of Sprouts which is a more annoying version of trader joes. It could have been for any number of reasons from alcohol drugs or heat exhaustion. But there was some typical Denver white girl in yoga pants who had an old film camera taking photos of this possibly dying person as some sort of artistic endeavor. I saw this for my car window, rolled the window down and started calling this lady a cunt and telling her what a piece of shit human being she was. I pulled over around to the other side of the street called the police and waited for them to arrive. Am I the asshole for calling somebody out using a clearly in need human being for some sort of black and white artistic experiment? Also, she had no intention of helping, told me to fuck myself and went back to taking pictures of graffiti and other bullshit. The police told me she was crap but didn't do anything illegal. ######

Response: NTA. You didn’t have to call her a cunt, but she shouldn’t have been doing what she was doing either ######


Prompt:
Sorry guys about the poor grammar and format. I'm just shaken up and I really need to vent.

(I am Asian and my bf's family is black)

I have been living at my boyfriends house since quarantine and instead of cleaning or watching TV together we decided to play UNO. I placed a +4 card and he had to add four additional cards to his 20-something deck. I called him "loser-kun" (I don't watch a lot of anime but he is a big weeb. He calls me "apollo-chan" or "something-chan" and says things like "baka" or "nani." He did this since we have been dating in high school.) His dad looked surprised and his mom looked extremely angry. They thought I called him a "loser coon" (I didn't know what that word meant until I looked it up, but it is racist.) She got extremely angry at me and started screaming at me. I told her I didn't understand what I did wrong. She called me a "Ching Chong Yellow Bitch" (lol) and then told me to "Get the f*ck out!" I tried to tell her I don't understand what I did wrong but I'm sorry, but she said "Ching Ching Chong, do you f*cking understand now? Get the f*ck out!" I just left my clothes there and went to my mothers house. My bf called me about a few hours later saying that his mother will let me go back home once """""I"""" apologize. I just hung up. What do I need to apologize for? I tried to explain myself but she just wouldn't listen and started saying racist stuff about me. She said we wouldn't be in this lockdown if it wasn't for "retards like you eating f*cking bats" She was honestly so mean to me. Anytime someone slightly raises there voice at me I wanna cry. I know I should apologize for my boyfriend. But he didn't even stick up for me. Should I call him back and just apologize? I love him but I'm starting to think it isn't worth it. I did say something she thought was racist but she called me so many racist things back. I just don't know what to do. ######

Response:
 NTA. You didn’t even say anything racist; they heard it wrong.
They didn’t give you time to explain to it, and they didn’t apologize for the insanely racist things they said to you. If that’s your foreseeable MIL, it’s not worth it at all. ######


Prompt:
Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You didn’t do anything to destroy the family she did. If you didn’t call the cops, it could have been a lot worse especially if your sister was already hiding objects in the fear she would hurt herself or others. Don’t think it’s your fault OP. ######


Prompt:
22F and 24F

Best friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere.

She wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering.

She would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do.

I told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless.

She is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ######

Response:
 NTA. you didn't tell her she can't be your roommate- you just said she needs a job. she can't just expect to live off of you because you CAN afford it- she's 24, ffs. you gave her an adequate timeline and an achievable requirement. i wouldn't accept an unemploymed roommate either.

edit: aww my first award and i didn't even say anything funny. thanks! ######