Prompt:
I'm a student who was looking to move to a different room/studio. I found a great place and texted back and forth with the girl who needed to find a new tenant. She told me the room was mine and to send over my info sheet and that the agency would then send me a contract. I sent in my info and qaited for over a week with no response, I kinda concluded that they might have given the contract to someone else.

I look for a new place, found one and signed the contract this Friday. Now the other girl texts me saying it's weird that the agency haven't responded and that she'll swing by their building today. I inform her that I have signed another room since I didn't hear back from the agency. Now her and her sister are acting like I'm the biggest asshole in the world cause they now don't have a tenant for next month. I was always taught that before a contract is signed there is no deal but they seem to think I've broken a promise or something. ######

Response: NTA. You didn't sign a lease, no contract is no roof over your head.  You have every right to shop elsewhere. I understand that she is mad, but she should be mad at the agency, not at you. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) and my half-brother (42M) have only really had a relationship for the past 5-6 years. He got married to my SIL (39F) who I'm going to call "Dinah". They recently had a baby and while the relationship was never the best with Dinah (pretty much a narcissist) but my family and myself tried to keep strings attached for the kiddo's sake.

About a few weeks ago, I got some really inappropriate texts from my brother directed at me in a non-brotherly way. I went to my parents immediately when he sent them. They were both shocked and called him up to confront him about it. He tried to dismiss it as a joke or whatever (though it definitely wasn't) and said that I and my parents were being overly dramatic about it.

Then cuts in Dinah raging in over the phone (I guess my brother had us on speaker). She accuses us of reading things into the texts he sent to try and ruin the relationship and that this will "never be fixed because you jumped to conclusions about what he was saying". And that we're missing out on a relationship with their baby.

I've tried to re-read the texts over and over again, and honestly? They were so creepy and not joking at all. I tried every way I could find to not believe he'd send me those things, but he did, and we even sent Dinah screencaps of what he said (and her response was "I can't believe you'd throw away a relationship of 5-6 years because of this"). I feel like absolute garbage sometimes and that maybe I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace, but I felt that he crossed a line. He was always inappropriate before, but never with me. AITA for breaking up this relationship over a text? ######

Response: NTA. You didn't break up the family relationship, your brother did by sending creepy, incestuous texts, and Dinah for defending that kind of unacceptable nonsense. ######


Prompt:
I'm a white person (20F), although some people have called my country equivalent of the n-word before because i look somewhat racially ambiguous.

Now i was playing games with my friend (22M) when he casually called me the n-word, not in the use of friend, but "you fucking n-word". I asked him to please not call ME that and he went quiet for a bit before he left the call. Then i found out he had wrote to a friend of ours, that was in the call, saying i was policing his speech. Some friends said i'm right and it was a small request to not be called something, and it shouldn't have mattered.

Some friends said that I'm white and therefore shouldn't be uncomfortable with being called it.

Btw for the record, i wasnt a dick about it or got angry the first time he said it, i calmy said "please would you mind not calling me that". ######

Response: NTA. You didn't ask him not to use the word, you asked him to not direct it at you. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short.
I befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally.
I sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened:
1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad.
2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car.
3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick.
4. Started talking bad about my relationship
5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah.

I stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis.

I felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work.
The next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly.
I told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email.

I felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ######

Response: NTA. You did what you needed to do to feel safe. You should still pursue the case through HR or if you're in the US report to the EEOC or your state's anti discrimination office. HR should have protected you and didn't. That's the definition of a hostile work environment ######


Prompt:
So, for backstory, basically my cousin and aunt have come to my house because we'll be going to Florida in a few days. he's sixteen and I'm thirteen. The last time I saw him was three years ago, and we were pretty close.

So, my cousin, who was originally female, came out to me about an hour before he made it to my house, on the phone. I completely support him and his decision, and he's still my cousin no matter what.

So here's what happened. I made macaroni for my family since I love cooking, and we were all just catching up on stuff that happened in the three years. This is how it played out.

Aunt: Cute-Comb this macaroni is delicious! I didn't know you knew how to cook!

Me: thanks! I've gotten really into cooking. I remember when we were little, -cousin- would scarf down any kind of pasta haha. It was crazy how she- I'm sorry he would eat anything, as long as it was pasta.

After this, my cousin started crying at the table about how I didn't accept him as a male, which I totally do, and I apologized again for the mistake.

Now though, my family is mad at me and my cousin isn't talking to me anymore. I even apologized again, but he just ignored me. I only made this mistake once, and I've called him he and him no matter what. AITA? I don't know what to do ######

Response: NTA. You did the right thing by immediately correcting yourself and just moving on. His reaction could have much more to do with being a teenager than you. ######


Prompt:
I have a good friend from high school that I still hang out with (we are 5 years out from high school). We hang out a decent amount but mainly just to drink and smoke and go to raves together. He’s a really nice guy and a lot of time will smoke me out or gives me rides places without me asking. I’d say we hang out at least a few times a week to smoke some weed or whatever. He had been telling me for a while that since high school I had gotten much better looking especially since I have been working out for a few years and started going to expensive barbers to get better hairstyles. I didn’t think much of it because I was aware that he had a girlfriend. The other day he suggested that I sleep over because we had been drinking quite a bit and it would be unsafe for me  to drive back to my parents house( which was a very good suggestion on his part). I said ok I’ll grab the couch in the living room and you go sleep in your room.  Fast forward to later that night I wake up and this man is grabbing my shoulders completely naked and I freak out saying don’t effin touch me or else I’ll beat you up/call the police. I had told him multiple before when the topic came up that I was not gay at all so I’m unsure why he tried this. He goes back to his room and goes to sleep and ignores me questioning him about what the fuck just happened. I grab my things and drive back to my house and he texts me the next day saying he was blacked out and doesn’t even remember doing anything. I tell him that I don’t think we should hang out anymore because I felt completely repulsed at what had transpired. He tells me that I am being unfair because he had no control over his actions because he was so drunk. Thoughts?

Edit: wanted to clarify I’m a dude not a girl since some of these responses are assuming I’m female sorry didn’t clarify in the post ######

Response: NTA. you did nothing to warrant him trying to wake you up while he’s naked. that’s not ok on his part. i wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore either. ######


Prompt:
It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself & I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job & easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad & becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up & not the other.

So, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky & talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ######

Response: NTA. You did him a favor by not firing and were nice to him when he called. I’m sorry but when my DAD died the first thing I did was call my manager (who was super kind and took care of letting others at work know so they could take care of my responsibilities). We all go through bad stuff, doesn’t mean you get to just blow off work. ######


Prompt:
So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.

I emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.

Now fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund.

My brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund.

WIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ######

Response: NTA. You did everything right. Both the money and the shoes are now yours. They can't resell the shoes anyway. ######


Prompt:
Last year I saved up a ton of money and I decided to buy a tv for my room, snacks, and my sister’s mini fridge (she gave it to me for 50). I redecorated my room and I really love it.
My sisters hadn’t seen my room until earlier this year. They all love it. It was fine in the beginning. I let them come in with my permission, watch tv, and eat the snacks I bought (the ones I’m not the biggest fan of). The two other TV rooms were occupied by our parents so I understood.
But, after about two months, things started to go downhill. I’d wake up to them barging into my room to watch tv, I’d come home from runs and they’d be in there, I’d go to sleep with them still watching tv because they’d refuse to leave at night. They also always leave wrappers, mess up my bed sheets, and move around my bean bag chair.
I asked them to stop doing this multiple times, but they’re all acting like entitled, spoiled brats. Whenever I ask them to leave, they all give excuses like “I used to live here” or “I gave you the fridge” or “You never use it.” I reminded them that they all have iPhone, iPads, and Mac Books, but they say that my room is better. The final straw, however, was two weeks ago. I went for a run, and my sister asked if she could use my tv. I said no because they’d come in unannounced again the day before. I left and when I came back, they were all in there watching tv. I completely flipped out and yelled at them to leave. I asked my dad to fix the lock on my door and he did. But, when they discovered it, they all freaked out. They’re all calling me spoiled, entitled, and an AH (among other things).

AITA for putting the lock on to keep them out? ######

Response: NTA. You deserve your own privacy. I have two locks on my door because my family will come in uninvited. Boundaries need to be set ######


Prompt:
First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.

I am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.

She told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.

She whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from "eating dry toast this morning" and a headache "for eating chocolate"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.

I know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.

Reddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######

Response: NTA. You could literally be saving lives by calling and forcing her hand. ######


Prompt:
Apologies for my shit English.

My dad is Mongolian, my mom is Polish. I never met my father as he died before I was born. I look entirely Mongolian though I'm basically Polish as I grew up in Poland my entire life and know nothing about Mongolia. My whole life people assumed I didn't know Polish and would speak to me in English and it's fucking annoying as hell. Half hte time I couldn't even understand the English.

I was at a restaurant yesterday and my waiter comes up to me and asks me in English "hello sir can I take your order" and I respond in Polish, "yes I'd like this and this and this" and he asks me in shitty English again "would you like diet or regular coke and fries or surowka" and again i said "listen dude I speak Polish" and he kept speaking English to which i said in Polish "asshole, I've lived here my whole life, I speak Polish better than I speak Polish, Polish is my native language and stop assuming otherwise and take my fucking order in Polish bcause we live in Poland."

He looked shocked, went quiet and then took my order. My girlfriend was fucking pissed and said i should've jsut done it in english but fuck this shit, i've had enough of thsi my whole life and especially since i told him to speak to me in Polish and he kept going in English ######

Response: NTA. You corrected him twice, started gently and ramping up. He's the one that basically ignored your corrections twice. The only way he's not TA is if he didn't speak Polish, but that doesn't seem to be the case. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep it short. I was using my boss's personal truck for a 4-month long work project. He's the President of the company. That project ended at the end of January. I got quotes before the end of the project on getting it shipped back to him because I knew he'd put it off and I'd get stuck with his truck and a bunch of work equipment, and I wanted to avoid that.

But he just brushed the quotes off and I got stuck with it anyway. He lives 13 hours away from me btw. 8 weeks go by and due to world events, we can't get any work. I get laid off. During that call when he's laying me off I tell him he needs to make arrangements to get his truck and the equipment back. He says he'll work on it. After another lie about when I'll be receiving my last check (no severance), I had to wait 6 days from being laid off to get the last of my pay and expenses reimbursed. At this point, I've had his truck for 9 weeks, and he's made no attempt to come to get it.

I don't want his truck parked in front of my house anymore. I email him and tell him he has 14 days to get his truck, or arrange for it to be shipped, or I'm going to take it up to the airport, and valet park it so it can be locked and the equipment kept safe, and he can retrieve it when he's ready.

He never emailed me back, but I did see an email he sent another coworker about it, and apparently he doesn't understand why I just won't hold onto his truck and the equipment for a few more months and I've got a bad attitude. and if they got work again he couldn't see bringing me back because he couldn't work with someone in the future who had this kind of attitude.

he's got two days left. but I've not been contacted by him.

so, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You communicated the need for him to get his truck back multiple times.  Including prior to being laid off.  You’ve offered a secure parking option and you’re wise to get his property out of your personal possession since you’re no longer his employee.  The fallout of anything were stolen while at your house could be problematic ######


Prompt:
Before everyone judges me as an asshole, let me give a little backstory.

My brother in law got me a pair of really awesome boots 3 Christmases ago. I loved them. However, he got me the wrong size. I literally could not fit my foot into them. I asked my husband to ask my brother in law if he could exchange the shoes for the right size...and it just never happened. This pair of shoes has been sitting in my garage for over 3 years now because my brother in law has said he just doesn't have the time or the receipt anymore to get the right size.

So, today, I sold them. Money has been really tight with both my husband and I laid off and not receiving unemployment/stimulus yet. I made a pretty profit too because they are high end shoes that have literally never been worn.

My husband is really angry at me for. Called me ungrateful and that I should be "ashamed of myself" for selling them. Even though now we will be able to pay the light bill and get a few groceries after selling these shoes.

So AITA? I do understand where my husband is coming from - they were a gift, even though I've never been able to wear the shoes. My own BIL told him to chill out when he called BIL up to tell him how "ungrateful" I am. I just didn't see a reason to keep a pair of shoes around that I am never going to wear. :/ ######

Response: NTA. You can’t wear them, the BIL didn’t get you the right size when you asked, and most importantly they’re yours to do what you wish. ######


Prompt:
So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work

So they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids.

Well the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.

I’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######

Response: NTA. You can’t take responsibility for random children at a home you don’t own.  Drowning is one of the main causes of death for children under 14.  You don’t know how well they can swim and I’m guessing you’re not a trained lifeguard/certified in CPR? ######


Prompt:
Me and my now ex fiance moved out of our apartment. I took out all of my things, amd she had to rent a uhaul truck for all of her belongings because she owned 95 percent of the things in the apartment. I was not there to help her move because i had to work, and she did not want me up at the apartment while she was there.

So as of now, we are both moved out of the apartment. Today, i received a phone call from my ex asking me for nearly 200 dollars to pay her back for the uhaul. She claimed that i lived in the apartment, so i should help her pay for it, and i should have gone and have helped her move stuff out. I refused by stating that  1, i was not there to help her move because she did not want me at the apartment, and 2, it was her belongings in that apartment, therefore it was her responsibility and not mine.

She is now threatening to take legal action against me for the payments and to take me to court. I feel as though i owe her nothing, but maybe i was being an inconsiderate A-Hole. What do you guys make of this? Thanks. ######

Response: NTA. You can’t make a contract without all parties agreeing to the terms from the very beginning. If she never talked to you about it beforehand, she can’t make a contract after. ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed

During rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.

I then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register.

I again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock.

I then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ######

Response: NTA. You can’t expect someone to do so many things at once. It’s not her fault for wanting the bag but it’s her job to put the stuff in the bag after you gave her your full attention. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I ended up freezing some embryos years ago due to medical issues. We used them to have our now 4 children, and we now feel that we have enough. At the time of this conversation, we still had three left over, and we had been debating what to do with them.

Her husband is horrible. They got married before my husband and I met. He's done so many horrible things both in general and to her. I've had so many talks with her about how she deserves better and how unacceptable his actions are.

We're all now in our late 30s, and they are now trying to have kids and can't (because they waited too long at HIS insistence). They're now looking at donor material, and she came to me. Absolutely not. This man shouldn't be a father and definitely not to my at least biological children. I was vague and tried to avoid a real answer. But they pushed too hard on why "we deserve to have all those extra embryos" and I lost my temper a little.

I ended up telling him that I/we think he's a terrible person, in no way should he have children, and she would only get my biological help if she "dropped him" like a diseased fish. Honestly, I hate him so much. This whole thing and the knowledge that we would only get more and more requests for them led us to the decision that we needed to use them ourselves. It worked and we had a single pregnancy.

We've been getting some comments from friends and family that we had a child out of spite and we're not better than anyone we have problems with. I don't know that that's true. We just couldn't destroy them and also couldn't trust anyone else. ######

Response: NTA. You can refuse to give your embryos to anyone regardless of what kind of person they are. It's your embryos. It's nobody but you and your husband's choice alone. Just hope they don't hate that child and treat them badly. ######


Prompt:
You've probably seen these books.  But it's what it says: a book that is hollowed out to hold something, like an engagement ring, weed, money, etc.

When I was sixteen (I'm twenty-five now), my mom gave me this book called 'The Care and Keeping of Husbands', a self-help book.  Yes, my mom is super conservative and into family values and thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, etc.  And yes she thought this was a good idea for a sixteenth birthday present when my friends were getting cars or nice jewelry or designer bags.

Sometime later, I found tutorial on how to make a "secret compartment book" and decided to use that "Care and Keeping of Husbands" book as a guinea pig.  It didn't work, so I hid the mangled book in my backpack so I could dispose it at school.  Well, my mom found it while snooping through my backpack, freaked out, and proceeded to ground me for the next month.

We don't talk to each other anymore, but when we did she always brought up how I am an asshole for ruining her birthday present to me and how that book will help me make my future husband happy.

Which would be fine and dandy, but I literally had no other use for that book:  I'm asexual and I have no interest getting a husband ever.

But it does boil down to this: AITA for "ruining" my mom's birthday present to me? ######

Response:
 NTA. You can do with your possessions as you please. It was a gift, so it was yours.

Sounds like you tried to give it a value, since it's words didn't hold any. ######


Prompt:
Basically me and my 4 year gf broke up 3 months ago, I had to keep her at my house because she and her daughter (13) didn’t have a place to go.

Thing is, they didn’t appreciate that, she kept initiating fights and stirring sh*t up and her shitty daughter started cussing at me and screaming every time I saw her because apparently I was piece of shit to her mother or some bs.

I have had enough and gave them a room and told them to keep there and not roam around the house until she gets a job, they weren’t happy and started verbally abusing me and then they broke my tv and ps4. This was the hair that broke the camel’s back.

I kicked them out immediately a week ago , few mutual friends called me and said they are sleeping in parks and are barley surviving. because they don’t have anywhere to go to (she has no family and few friends who won’t take her).

As for the legal part it doesn’t concern me much, because I’m moving out of the US soon to a country where US laws mean nothing

Am I the asshole for not being able to keep up with them? ######

Response: NTA. You broke up. You still offered them a place to stay and it sounds like they did everything possible to disrespect you and act ungrateful and entitled. It sucks they have to struggle now, but you are absolutely within your rights to have kicked them out. I would have probably had called the cops on them for breaking anything in my home. ######


Prompt: So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. You bought it, it’s your property. He shouldn’t have done anything with it. Touching people’s things without their permission is wrong. It’s also your house. You have the final say. If you say he’s gone, he’s gone ######


Prompt:
AITA for wanting/insisting the new TV (that was supposed to replace the old tv in the living room) to go into the family living room instead of my husband’s man cave? He’s very insistent that we can’t use it to it’s fullest ability and it should go in his man cave but we have a toddler and he’s in school so his free time is maybe 3 hours or less a day (he routinely stays up until 2:30 am and wakes up at 5:30 to play video games.) so it wouldn’t get much use.

However we (toddler son and I) have been using a super old tv that has had color issues (everything is green tinted) for about a year now in the main family room/living room. We spend more time upstairs using that tv during the day.

AITA? He’s acting salty about it which seems ridiculous to me. ######

Response: NTA. You bought it for family use. The fact that your husband has a straight-up mancave is kinda fuckin' antiquated to begin with, but him wanting to hog this item that's supposed to be for the family is just low. ######


Prompt: Last night we decided that I am going to come to her apartment around 8. When I got up today it was raining and the bus was a bit late so I arrived  to her apartment around 8:10. When I knocked on the door she told me through the door that she is just going to take a quick shower. Her showers always take an hour and this was no exception. I was waiting for an hour in the rain, because she wanted to take a shower before opening the door. After she finally opened the door I was horrible. During the day she keeps asking me why I am not joyful as usual. After telling her many times that I had to wait for an hour in the rain she said: "You that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9". I was defeated and just went back to my place. AITA for acting the way I did? ######

Response:
 NTA. You both agreed on 8 for you to arrive. She then waited until you got there to take a long shower. That's extremely inconsiderate.

>she said: "You know that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9

I'm pretty sure that if you *did* show up at 9 instead, she would have done the same thing.

Her saying that to you is her way of denying any fault and disregarding your feelings.

I had a friend who did this shit. We would agree on a time for me to pick her up, and she wouldn't start getting ready until I showed up. She wouldn't even be dressed! I even purposely showed up half an hour late, and she would *still* wait to get ready until I showed up. And the part that pisses me off the most was that she wouldn't even act like she was hurrying. She would just take her damn time brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, getting dressed etc. ######


Prompt: So this kid I'll call him John called this girl I'll call her Whitney the n word. I don't think calling someone the N word is acceptable nor is it ok. He basically called her that the day before school was cancelled for the the virus during school. The school was informed and is going to punish John obviously. I understand of course if he gets in trouble. He should. But the actions are extreme they want to permanently expell him so basically trying to ruin his education because he made a mistake. If he loses a few friends went to detention and maybe even got suspended for a few days I get that. But ruining his life isn't going to solve anything. Our super intendent of our school doesn't want to expell him permanently unless people agree with it and think it's fair. Everyone is sign-in this petition. I can't even explain how many people. I refused to sign it and I'm getting tormented, shamed and called a racist. I'm not going to support ruining a kid's life because he made a simple mistake when he was in highschool. I feel like I'm being a asshole to the person who got called the n word but also don't know what to feel. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You believe that expelling this kid is beyond the scope of what his punishment should be so you don't sign it.

It is so easy to get in the herd mentality and get peer pressured. I congratulate you for sticking with what you believe to be right. ######


Prompt:
Preface: I am 27 year old male and i have arthritis in my lumbar spine as well as a bulge in the same area. My only relief is laying down supine on my bed. Every other activity hurts. Walking, sitting, standing, everything. I just finished a year of unsuccessful treatment and being young my doctor said I could be placed on permanent restrictions but not permanent disability.

Main issue:

I'm coming home from picking up my dog from my girlfriends house as she was babysitting. I get home it's like 11:15 pm. There is absolutely no parking and my dad has the driveway because he pays the bills.

I ask my sister and her guests of like 8 people  if anyone is parked directly in front of our house. One guy responds and I ask politely " if you don't mind parking somewhere else I really appreciate it. I have back issues and it would really help me out if I didn't have to walk far."

Then my sister chimes in " I don't give a fuck, he doesn't have to move, if you got a problem with it then take it up with dad".

I disregard her. I repeat myself to her guest a simple " I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out " he obliged and we switched spots. ( The nearest parking spot was about a little less than quarter of a mile upward. Thanks COVID-19 now you have everyone home there's no parking)  no harm no foul. Now I hear my sister berating me to her guests about " how I'm such a bitch and an asshole and how I'm faking an injury"

Now I'm not sure if this is relevant but I feel I should mention that our mother passed away unexpectedly on June 29th, 2020 and idk if I should just chalk it up to my sister still being hurt from our mom's passing.

I just believe that since I live here, and given my back problem i was okay in asking him to switch spots with me.

Was I the asshole for doing so? ######

Response: NTA. You asked politely,  he obliged willingly, it's all good. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking.

For years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he "didn't actually have a problem ". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out.

About three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids.

He started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol.

I told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded "Good. I want you to feel the way I do."

I don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ######

Response: NTA. You asked him why he smelled like alcohol and he immediately escalated the situation to name-calling and accusations, then told you that you deserved it. Just knowing that, you are not the asshole. His history does not help his side of the story either: while is is great that he was able to regain his sobriety, it is also unreasonable to never expect relapses. While he may have felt distrusted, you had solid grounds to question if he had been drinking. ######


Prompt:
Gonna keep this short.

My girlfriend called me a "tan" yesterday. She said it in a really joking way, mimicking that John Mulaney line ("that's what I thought you'd say, you fucking tan"), and it quite took me aback, because I knew her friends used words like that but she had mentioned her father found it tasteless so it surprised me that she used it.

When I pulled her up on it, saying I didn't like that word, she justified it by calling it a joke and then said it was ironic I was trying to control the words she used to describe "the oppressor" and then finally said she couldn't help it if "your tannery was so apparent" or something?

It has become something of a recurring thorn in our relationship, given she often justifies not getting along with someone or finding it difficult to talk to them by saying they are "too English" for her to relate to them or labels petty frustrations as "the Brits getting to me". I get that they're jokes, but she just seems so dismissive and irritated towards all things "tan".

I ended up asking her if she needed people to be just like her in order to get along with them, and in the course of our short discussion I ended up saying it sounded like she was a xenophobe. She's brought that up again quite a few times since and I get the impression I quite hurt her feelings, but honestly I think I was justified in what I said given the context and what she had just said. ######

Response: NTA. You asked her to stop mutiple times and she still continued making them. In my experience people who say rascist or xenophobic stuff "ironically" are just using humour to shield their rascism. As an irish man I find people who treat random British people like they played a part in colonising Ireland very stupid (it's a thing for some people unfortunately) and I am guessing that your girlfriend is Irish given her hate for "Tan". (For those who don't know the black and Tans were the name given to the English army by the Irish during the war of independence in the early 20s. They committed lots of attacks on innocent civilians and were extremely hated by the Irish people) ######


Prompt:
Backstory : GF and I have been together for 3 years. We have one child aged about 1 years old.
Our relationship has been rocky for the last month or so.

Anyway. About 1 month ago she started snapchating (snaping?) a guy and mutual friend of ours again, nothing strange about that, i don't mind. Then they start sending bitmojis and not long after that they are snapchating all day every day. She even told me "hey, i'm flirting with this guy, lol "  and now for the last few weeks they've been Blowing kisses at eachother etc etc. Something like this : 😂😂😍😘😘 all day everyday. She even stayed awake until 3am snaping this guy when we went to bed at 11 at multiple occasions.

I asked her why she thinks that it's okay to do what she's doing , and she told me that "we're just trolling, why do you care? Don't you trust me?"

I do trust that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when i pointed out that she would hang me for doing the same thing,  she just said "yeah, and?"
I find it extremely annoying that she spends so much time texting and flirting with another guy, even if it's playful and " just for fun."

She thinks i'm the asshole in this situation because she thinks i don't trust her and i'm being jealous.
Meanwhile my whole problem in this situation is the obvious double standards.

Additional info: her and the guy has sent nudes to eachother prior to me getting together with her. Don't know if this is relevant info but i feel like it is.
Also non-native english speaker. Please forgive me. ######

Response: Nta. You asked her to stop because you are uncomfortable with the relationship that is okay. As a female, if my bf was doing that it would be a major problem. And yes, prior sexual contact makes all the difference when speaking to someone. But that is my opinion. I just would like to say you aren't being insecure, just her behavior is making you feel that. ######


Prompt:
This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.

I (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me.

She noticed me look back her at her and she asked "What's your name?"

I was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked "Why?"

She started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.

Instead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being.

Meanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.

So AITA? Was I being rude? ######

Response: NTA. You aren’t obligated to tell someone your name is you’re not comfortable doing so. This girl was rude. ######


Prompt:
I come from a large family. Everyone is going through a tough time right now. In particular my baby sister (29) who has had her hours drastically cut. She was expecting an unemployment check today but didn’t receive it and is too stressed to call to find out why. I get it, anxiety sucks. She says she’s ok for now but one of my other sisters started a group to try to raise money for her. I said I’ll give her money if she asks for it.

  The shit hit the fan. How dare I force her to ask, I know how proud she is! I do know, I’ve offered her desperately needed money before and she’s refused. So have other family members, pride runs strong in the family. I don’t feel like doing it again. She (any of them) can ask me for money or just not get money from me.

My husband agrees with me. My entire family is calling me a bitch and kicked me out of the texting group.
AITA here?

ETA I think I wasn’t clear enough. The sister who is leading the charge against me offered my underemployed sister money but she said “no” she didn’t need anything right now. Which is why I’m saying “if you need something, just ask. Let me know and I’ll help.

I said “loans” but I never ask my family to pay me back and I make that clear to them. I call it a loan so they can feel better about it. That pride thing again. ######

Response: NTA. You aren’t a psychic bank teller. If your sister wants to borrow money, she needs to ask. ######


Prompt:
A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7.

My SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.

The problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should "keep looking" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems.
When we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her.
We haven't met her boyfriend/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to.

I was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.
He said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.

However, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).

So WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ######

Response: NTA. You aren’t “making” your husband not go. He’s choosing not to go because he’s angry with her for mistreating you. Yes, he said he’d go if you do, but that may be because he doesn’t want you to be alone with SIL and not because he really wants to be there. ######


Prompt:
OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.

So I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.

I never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.)

My friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.

Red’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.

So, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######

Response: NTA. You are your roommate have a really nice and considerate setup, and that only works so long as others also extend that consideration. They don't seem to get that wanting to hang out with Red when he intentionally detaches isn't showing that they like him, it's just going to stress him out. ######


Prompt:
I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit).

Due to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair??

I am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said "I'll do something about it." Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.

It's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ######

Response: NTA. You are your own person. It doesn’t matter what they consider good enough or appropriate for men in your family, or even your grandma. She had her sense of normalcy, but that has long since changed since she was 17. You keep those locks hydrated and set em free, man. ######


Prompt:
Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away.

So now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve.

So here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week.

So here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :/

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You are very wise. Uprooting yourself from a stable situation to take a leap of faith across the state by moving in with your boyfriend is ... risky risky risky. I think that your suggestion of having him live on his own is a good one. You don't need to phrase it as an ultimatum - 'Live on your own and learn to manage your own affairs for six months and I'll think about it!'. Tell him he needs to go out and test the waters, get a place, see what he thinks of this new job and this new town. There's no need for both of you to rush off to a new place without knowing what's going to happen! ######


Prompt:
This isn't dramatic, or too serious.

We're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now.

&#x200B;

My son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.

My son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money.

My husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.

But my thoughts are,  my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts.  I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are teaching your son a good lesson about accountability. You didn’t steal his money he ‘stole’ it from his sister when he broke her property. ######


Prompt:
Hello!

As many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Well this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart.

The group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries.

I went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. You are still volunteering your time while respecting the rights of essential workers to protest. That is admirable especially considering a lot of other people are too busy to volunteer right now. Also, with a protest, it would be hard to deliver groceries anyway. ######


Prompt:
So my close friend (Q) & her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it & said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways.

In the process of planning (& hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):

1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes & scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests & THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests & Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it & agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple.

2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q & W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W & how W has been affected. & she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, & it took a while before she got it.

So yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######

Response: NTA. You are right, weddings and engagements are for the couple ######


Prompt: (20F) I live with 4 other girls. Due to corona virus, the 4 other girls have chosen to quarantine at either their parents house or with their significant others, which leaves me in the house by myself. We have agreed to split all the base fees for utilities 5 ways, but I am in charge of everything else on top of that. However, base fees don’t cover things like our gardeners using our hose or keeping a refrigerator plugged in at all times or the sensor lights around the front of the house, etc. normally I would pay $60 for utilities a month, but this time, they asked me to pay for $160 of the utilities bill. I understand that because I am living here alone I should be paying for most of the bill, but they haven’t taken into account that there are certain things above the base fees that we would all be paying for if nobody was here. ######

Response: NTA. You are reasonably willing to pay a larger share due to their lack of use of most of the utilities, but sharing only the base fees isn’t a fair assessment for you. You are not suddenly using $100 more in electricity and hot water just for yourself now that everyone is away. They made the decision to stay elsewhere during quarantine but still have a responsibility to maintain their primary residence. If $100 extra a month is a financial burden for you, decide what is reasonable “extra” for you to pitch in and ask for the difference to be split between your roommates. ######


Prompt:
I (31F) live with my husband (28M) for now. Back in December we visited his family for Christmas. Our twins were 1yo. I found them in an unsafe sleeping situation. They were in an indoor dog gate with pillows and a very fluffy blanket. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that and he asked if I had to be such a "Fucking cunt". I told his grandmother why I was leaving and walked back to his mom's house.

We agreed on a divorce and finally I saved enough money for an apartment. His mom decided to come and visit for the holiday (she lives two states away) so I stayed in order for her to see her grandchildren. After their nap their dad wants to take them to his Aunt's/Uncle's. I just found out I'm no longer allowed in their house. They've never babysat and even got mad at me when I refused to let them in the delivery room.

I told him I'm not leaving my kids for the holiday and he accused me of being spiteful and unamerican (I'm American but grew up overseas), that I prostituted myself to him and got pregnant on purpose (I wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant), and that I'm being selfish for not letting them go to a 4th of July party without me.

Only problem is, he rarely hangs out with the kids. He'll drink a bottle of vodka or a 12pack of beer in a day. He plays on his computer none stop. He hasn't watched the babies overnight in over a month because he screams at them and throws open doors. I've found him passed randomly on the floor. Found him looking through tinder while at a baby be well appointment. He's screamed at the babies when they were crying because "if they get to make noise I get to make noise too". They don't really like him. Essentially, my kids are always around me and I take care of them 98% of the time.

AITA for not wanting my (18mo) kids to go somewhere where I'm not welcomed? ######

Response: NTA. You are protecting your children. But make sure he doesn't have a legal custody case he could build over this. You don't want him to take you to court and say you're not letting him have his agreed upon custody. ######


Prompt:
Hello,

I am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.

My mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.
My mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.

Maybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.

My mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: "You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her."

My dad doesn't know about this.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are not your sister's keeper. You aren't financially responsible for anyone other than your kids.

Is it NICE to give her money? Charity is something a lot of people find to be nice.

But charity should NEVER be required. ######


Prompt:
Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.

WIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?

EDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######

Response: NTA. You are not the parent, this is not your responsibility. Your parents are the assholes if they expect you or your brothers to do this. ######


Prompt:
I'm a high school teacher. I have one student who didn't pass, and now his mom and some of his other teachers want to have a meeting this afternoon talk about how we can make up the work and get him credit for his classes so he doesn't have to retake them.

This kid couldn't be bothered to show up and do the work all year. He was chronically absent and didn't do anything on the rare occasion he did show up to class when school was still in session. After the schools closed, he had months at home with no new material in my class that he could have used to make up the work. Instead, he put it all off until the last week of the semester and then half-assed everything because he didn't pay attention in class when we learned how to do the work. I feel like he's dug his own grave, and I haven't seen any changes in behavior that suggest he'd actually start trying to do well now.

On top of that, my contract ended a couple days ago. Sure the school said they'll pay me extra for working with him, but it's outside of my contractual duties. And I already have a summer job starting next week, so I don't want or need the extra hours. The only thing pushing me to join this meeting is a sense of guilt because I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything possible and going the extra mile if I don't attend the meeting. He *will* have to do summer school or retake the class next year if I don't join the meeting and offer him a customized path to make up his missing work, but doing so will further eat into my time over the next two weeks as I'll have to schedule Zoom meetings with him and take time to grade his work.

And my wife gets off work early today. We'll probably just end up watching a movie or something, but I'd rather spend the time with my wife. I feel a little petty saying this, but spending time with my wife is more important to me than trying one more time to save a student who has spent all year sabotaging himself.

So would I be the asshole if I skip this meeting? ######

Response: NTA. You are not obligated to help this kid any more than you already have. If people continue to bail him out at the last second to make sure everything goes fine despite him being lazy, he'll never truly have consequences for his actions. Let him repeat the class next year. Enjoy your time off with your wife. ######


Prompt:
I live with my Dad, his wife, and my step sister Jade (13). I am 19.

Jade has gotten overweight to the point where her asthma has gotten pretty severe and she has prediabetes. The doctor has told her that she need to lose weight. Unfortunately for Jade, her mother only makes like frozen packaged meals or orders takeout.

When she and my father got married I was 12, and I gained a significant amount of weight. My mother showed me how to cook before she passed away, but my step mother refused to let me get my own fresh food to cook.

I have been cooking my own meals since I got my first job.

My step mother and jade have been trying for around three months to get her to lose weight and it hasn’t been working. In my opinion it is because stepmom refuses to cook.

A while ago while I was making my lunch, my step mom came up to me and asked why I don’t make  food for Jade too. I said Jade never really asks me for food, so I never thought to. She then told me that I needed to start making Jade food when I made food to help her control her weight.

I told her I would be willing to show Jade how to make a few healthy meals on her own, but that I was not into cooking meals for her. Jade is pretty picky. I also have a plant based diet that Jade isn’t going to go for. Step mom got angry and told me she would be taking it up with my dad. She says that since I live here rent free (she doesn’t work so she does too tbh) I should help with this.

My dad unfortunately agrees with my step mom. He thinks I’m an ass for not offering to make her food in the first place. I told him that it’s not my problem that step mom can’t cook. She should learn. I’m going to end up cooking separate meals for myself and jade and I don’t think it’s fair.

They have even told Jade that I don’t care about her because I won’t cook her food. Everyone in the house thinks I’m an asshole, am I really an asshole for not cooking her food? ######

Response: NTA. You are not her parent. She has 2 perfectly good parents that can cook for her. ######


Prompt:
Before I start I should go ahead and apologize for any formatting errors because I am on mobile.

Ok so my mom has recently decided to join a Facebook religious cult. She pretty much adds anyone she can on Facebook that is in this group with her. A majority of them are random men from other countries. She has never met any of them. She also has a lot of meth heads on there too. She is a “recovering” meth addict (she claims that she doesn’t so drugs anymore, but her actions speak differently).

Anyways, I recently posted pictures of my daughter on Facebook and tagged her and other family members in them. She is also tagged in older pictures of my children as well. I started getting notifications that these random men were liking and commenting on every single picture of my daughter that my mom is tagged in. They were only commenting and liking pictures of her by herself. They would say that she is the most beautiful girl they have ever seen and that they love her blonde hair and asked my mom to post more pictures of her. She is six years old. I blocked all of them and removed all of the tags of my mom.

This is where I’m not sure if I over reacted or if I was justified in doing this. Because now my mom and grandma are telling me that I am trying to keep my mom out of my daughters life by not tagging her in pictures. My grandma told me that I’m a huge disappointment and that I shouldn’t judge the men just because they said she’s beautiful. So Reddit.... AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are looking out for the safety of your daughter and keeping her away from the eyes of these skeevy ass strangers. Your mom and grandma are being naive af about the situation and that's not your fault if they don't understand. ######


Prompt:
On April 3rd, our neighbors put up two lawn signs. One says, “Jesus, I just want to thank you for having my mommy keep me.” The other one has a bible verse. I found their signs incredibly insensitive and ordered a pink “I support Planned Parenthood” sign for our lawn.

Our sign was delivered today and my husband is worried that putting it up will cause a “war” with the neighbors. We’re not friends with them. Occasionally, my husband will chat with the husband when they are both grilling. We don’t know the wife or daughter’s name.

I’m active military and we will move in the next year (we rent a house off base) so I don’t care what the neighbors think - but my husband’s support is important to me.

Would I be the asshole for posting a “I support Planned Parenthood” sign in our front lawn? ######

Response: NTA. You are expressing yourself just as they are. It may come off as a bit passive aggressive to them but honestly who cares. I'd buy 3 more lol ######


Prompt: So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are entitled to what you feel but those are ultimately his kids. You can't control how he raises them.

However, if you do want to influence his kids to be more tolerant, reason with them instead of telling them. For example, ask them why do they think gay people are bad? What have they done to deserve being called bad?

Children love to be taken seriously. Having conversations like these may actually help them think and reason for themselves instead of blindly following their father. ######


Prompt:
I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study.

I moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats.

The """problem""" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.

He basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger.

Despite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said "we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ######

Response:
 NTA. You are entitled to personal space. Who gave him keys to your old flat? If it WASN'T you, bring that up. If it WAS you, then you need to make it clear that you gave him those keys as a sign of trust, and he violated that by not giving you any warning when he was coming over. Tell him that surprise visits are unwelcome, and if he can abide by only coming over when you've approved the visit, then he can earn back the privilege of having his own keys, but you have the right to take those keys back if he keeps violating your boundaries.

You are allowed to have boundaries. ######


Prompt:
Before you think I’m a horrible person, there is a reason. My cousin, Linda, has the most lovely 3-year old ever. I love her with all my heart and I miss them like crazy.

Linda lives about an hour away from me(26f) and my sisters (14, 23, 28, 29). Since all of this crazy mess happened, if a cousin had a birthday in the area we would all drive by their house, beep, and say Happy Birthday. The cousins we’ve done it with have been 9 and 15. Their parents reached out to us before hand that they would like us to come and do this.

Linda has not asked anyone to come to hers, probably distance being a reason. But Linda’s daughter has been having a hard time with not being able to play with others. She has a 6-month sister, and Linda has constantly been keeping the kids entertained. Linda’s mom and sister live right next door to them, but since her sister is an essential worker, they haven’t been able to go over and play.

Linda told me and my sisters about how said her daughter would get extremely upset when her sister and mom would say hi through the window. After they leave, she would need to be comforted because she would constantly ask “why doesn’t anyone want to play with me”.

When my oldest sister suggested we drive over there to say happy birthday from the car, I said we should ask Linda first. My sister said she would rather have it as a surprise. I kept insisting, saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea and let’s at least ask Linda because while it may be fun for the few minutes we are there, we are not the ones that have to console a sad 3-year old after we leave.

My sister got angry at me and uninvited me to go. I understand that they want to do something nice (Linda’s husband actually put together a video of family singing happy birthday for her along with a special message from a princess) but not at the cost of causing more harm than good. I at the very least would like Linda to know so she can decide if her child can handle it.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are completely correct in your reasoning and I really think you should give your cousin a heads up on this. My heart hurts for that little girl. Please tell her I would love to play with her if I could. ######


Prompt:
There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances & cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with  shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.

First incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short & I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that & she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less.

Second incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work & I'm in my shorts & baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.

My stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed & asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.

So reddit, please give me some input. ######

Response: NTA. You are an adult. Bodies are not inherently sexual. You should be allowed to be comfortable at home. He is your dad. Your step mother sounds gross and sexist. There is just so much assholery going on here, but none of it because of you. ######


Prompt: Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house "unsafe" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are an adult, not a toddler that needs to be checked up on throughout thr night. ######


Prompt:
My mom and I (18F) have always had an extremely close relationship. Basically I have always talked to her about everything and she is someone I look to for guidance.  I started dating this guy (18M) at the beginning of college. My mom, being pretty religious, has always made it clear she wants me to wait until marriage to have sex. I agree with her on most things, but not this. I think it is my decision when I want to have sex and with whom.

Anyway, I started taking birth control about a month ago because I planned on having sex with my boyfriend. But we got sent home from college so it never happened. But I’m still taking the birth control because we probably still will.

Anyway, my mom saw my birth control and asked me if I’m having sex. I said no. She then accused me of lying for days. Eventually, we talked and she finally believed me when I told her I’m not yet but am planning to.

Then she said that she would like to know when we do decide to so we can talk before hand, I know it’s just going to be her last attempt at trying to discourage me. I told her it’s my decision and she doesn’t need to know when and now she’s mad. AITA? Since it’s wouldn’t be any trouble for me to just tell her, but I don’t think it’s her business. ######

Response:
 NTA. You are an adult so it’s not her business to know. Your body, your choice.

And birth control isn’t always for preventing pregnancies. I take birth control to help with acne. ######


Prompt:
So my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable.  He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.

Edit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ######

Response:
 NTA. You are allowed to have limits of what you consider comfortable, and sharing sexual texts with a coworker can absolutely be outside of your comfort zone.

He has agreed with you that you are allowed to be uncomfortable, and has agreed to suspend the activity. So I'd give him some time to see if he's just busy, or if he's sulking, or what he's up to. ######


Prompt: My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######

Response: NTA. You are allowed to eat whatever you want. You also respect the fact that he has allergies, and accommodate to him. He should respect that even after you eat it you do everything to can to make sure he is not harmed. ######


Prompt:
Bare with me, this will probably be a long one.

Me (31F, no siblings) and my boyfriend (M27) of 8 years are going to hopefully be buying our first home this year. Something I never thought I would be able to do considering my childhood.

My mother (63) has undefined mental health issues (it’s a mixture of being a narcissist and bi polar, at a guess) and is living with my father (66) illegally because she refused to get a job once the government stopped giving her money when I turned 18. My dad pays for everything for her with what little money he has.

My childhood was rough, I lived in poverty and because of my mothers issues she refused to allow me to get an education. My childhood was pretty bad, think no dinners, no friends, not allowed outside the house unless accompanied by her. Not because of money issues (we were poor but we would technically be able to buy food/electricity/clothes/etc), but simply my mother was too lazy/too mentally unwell to do anything about it. In turn I had severe anxiety and depression up until I met my boyfriend and my boyfriend got me out of the apartment I was in. My dad intervening in my education when I was 18 and that was the reason why I managed to be lucky enough to meet my boyfriend.

Now, my dad keeps jokingly saying would there be space for him and/or my mother in my new house. I know he’s half serious. But I really, really do not want to take my mother into my home, if anything happens to my dad my mother may technically be out on the streets and will plead with me to take her in. But I simply cannot do that. I have worked extremely hard to get into the position I am in now to have a normal anxiety free life (I’m now medicated), but I fear my mother will wail and cry asking me how could I do this to her, when my question was how could she do what she did to me as a child?

So, WIBTA if I point blank refuse to allow either of my parents to live in my home? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are allowed protect your health and mental health recovery above and beyond anything else after working so hard to get well.

Your parents don’t have the right to expect you to allow them to move in with you and while your mothers potential future homelessness is sad it is not your fault or responsibility.

Have you heard the saying. “You aren’t obliged to set yourself on fire to keep others warm”? ######


Prompt:
My [18f] boyfriend [18m] and I have been together for 2 years and are moving out together soon. He sort of wants a roommate to help pay rent and everything, but none of our friends want to do it except one.

I've known this friend longer than I've known my boyfriend, and he has always made me very uncomfortable. He used to be really into me and would just generally be creepy. He's gotten better about it, but I just have this gut feeling that it won't turn out good and it makes me very, very deeply uncomfortable, partially because of some past experiences.

I don't want this to seem like my boyfriend is just being a dick. He is not. His reasoning for this is that it will take a pretty good chunk out of what we have to pay, and he likes said friend. I see how it might be nice, but I've been calculating my ass off and we'd both have a good 4 or 5 hundred or more each month after paying rent, groceries, etc.

It's a good reason, but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that screams this is an awful idea. I can honestly barely stand to be around this person more than an hour or two, and he makes me deeply uncomfortable. This is stressing me out so much and every time I try to talk to him about it he gets mad, even if he's the one who brings up talking about it. This is to the point where it makes me not want to even live with my boyfriend, but my home life is so draining and stressful that either one sounds awful. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

tl;dr: my friend makes me very deeply uncomfortable but my partner sees it as absolutely necessary that we let him move in. ######

Response: NTA. You are a member of this house just as much as he is. Any additions need to have a 100 percent backing from both of you. Home is where you need to relax and rest and if this friend of yours can’t allow you to do that, he’s not fit to be your roommate. ######


Prompt:
Hello,

First of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.

Recently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)

My parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment.

I don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are 20. There is no way to predict what you want and who you’ll be with in 10 or 15 years. It is ridiculous to NOT save your eggs now, when it is free to do so, JUST IN CASE you aren’t with him them. If you marry and stay together forever and still don’t want them, no harm no foul. Many women are now freezing eggs so that they can concentrate on their careers and just have one less thing to worry about... or delay worrying about. Some companies even pay for it!

I am happily child free, but I always assumed I had time to decide. Cue turning 38 and I took some tests to just learn more about my body and I have basically 0 eggs left. Like I’m literally perimenopausal 12 years early. Thank god, I’m ok with that, but if I wasn’t, I’d be shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for donor eggs and ivf. I am also not even close to being with the guy I was with at 20, much less the same mindset. Just do it. He either gets over the fact that you have the ability to one day have kids or he doesn’t. But that’s a “risk” with most women he will date or marry. If he doesn’t, I feel like this is a really good time to know a) how he feels about even the idea of kids and b) how he feels about the concept of bodily autonomy and preventative health care. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I broke up last year. We had a very good run and over the years his friends became my friends too. There is a photo on my Instagram of me, him and a friend of ours at one of our other friends' wedding. I think it's a very sweet photo that captured the the memory of that night, so I never deleted that one photo despite having all other photos of my ex removed. Today, my ex texted me asking me to delete said photo. I told him I'm still considering whether I will, as the photo involved another person and I like the time that it represents (i.e. when everything was alright and well).

I'm leaning more towards deleting to be nice, say 65:45. But if I refused to delete the photo, would that make me the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You and your ex had experiences. Deleting the photos won't mean those experiences happened. There are no reasons to delete the picture (or any of the pics if you had wanted to keep them). ######


Prompt:
For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.

This summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house.

My internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out.

Today my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said "enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us" and hung up.

AITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######

Response: NTA. You already paid for the flight and made other plans. If he wanted your help with the driving he should have asked you earlier. ######