Prompt:
So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time.

We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly.

However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.

My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.

So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).

So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.

So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate.

She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, Every couple goes through financial problems when living together. I'd suggest

1) Both having Separate Bank Accounts and one Joint account.

2) Both transfer enough money for bills, shopping, rent etc and agree on an amount for entertainment and savings, rainy day fund, Holiday fund put that in the account too.

3) What's left is upto yous to do what you want with the rest.

That's the formula me and my OH use. We both still have our own money after we pay bills etc. Any nights out together, purchases for the house come out of the joint account. While if I go out with the lads I'll use my own money. Likewise she wants to go clothes shopping she will use her own money....

15 years together and married for ten of those so it works for us. Important to have your own money to spend every months... ######


Prompt:
It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything.

Before you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up).

I live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######

Response:
 NTA, even with them taking care of your elderly grandmother. They should not be taking advantage of your line of credit and leaving you in a bad situation.

Especially because you don’t even know if they’re using it on her, or for luxuries for themselves. It really sucks that you are in this situation but please make sure to take care of your needs first. Don’t be too compassionate that you end up getting screwed over. ######


Prompt: I told her I felt it was misleading to make me think she couldn’t afford to pay for her car battery if times were so tough and she can justify getting her nails done when I’m struggling to make it myself. Mind you she is on a fixed income, disabled, retired, and receives government compensation (social security/disability/drives Uber) for all of her bills, necessities, and fun. I’m a healthcare worker who works full time with 2 roommates out of work and on unemployment applying to grocery stores for work. We are making it work but I am trying to support us adoring this crisis with what I can but I can’t help but feel this is super selfish and wrong. ######

Response: NTA, even though the nail tech price and the car battery price don't sound comparable, she's still using up x amount of dollars on her nails that she otherwise could've saved up. It's a shame that she's taking funds away from you when you're kind enough to care for 2 others. NTA for trying to make her understand how ridiculous her choice was. ######


Prompt: I’m a 30 year old male with high functioning autism. The other day my brother told me to stop fucking around and get my shit together so I can get married and have kids. I told him that we already had this conversation. I don’t want kids. I pass for normal but I had difficulty with learning and social interactions growing up. They don’t understand how difficult it really is. If I am going to get married it would be to another autistic person which raises the likelihood of our child having it too. I don’t want to take the chances of my kid being what I am or worse off. I’m also pretty unhealthy. My L5 is messed up and I’m in constant pain. My dad suffered from constant pain from a leg injury he had. He missed out on a lot of my childhood before he died of a heart attack when I was 7. I don’t want to have a kid and have them be without a dad. My past partners have all been autistic and super irresponsible. No one that I would trust raising a child. Similar to my mom who had a everything will work itself out mentality which led to my siblings getting into a lot of trouble. My brother wasn’t happy about this and stormed off because his kids needs cousins. You want the best for your kids and I don’t even see my kids having an ok life so why would I try. The kid would likely be mentally retarded due to both parents having the gene. The person I’m seeing is basically a child in a adult woman’s body. I have no trust in her. Even if I took better care of myself I still have a lot of health issues that could take me out before the kid grows up. Am I the AITA for not wanting to bring a child into a shitty situation? ######

Response: NTA, even if you didn't have autism.  Don't let people shame you into doing something you don't want to do. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 25 year old guy, responsible with my money and have great credit. I opened a joint bank account with my dads name on the account back when I was 16 and working my first ever job. I use the same account now, mostly just for convenience. I don’t want to have to update my payment info on iTunes, Amazon, student loans, etc.
So anyway, I woke up this morning and found my parents had went in and taken $1500 out of my account without telling me. They had booked a vacation for our family next month and needed to borrow it due to not having enough in their own account. I know they’ll pay it back, they always do. But I wish they had told me first. I was going to use that to buy some car parts, and now I have to wait for them to repay me, however long it takes. I’m not mad, just annoyed and thinking I’m at the age where I should have a bank account without my dads name on it. They’re great parents and do a lot for me, but I’m starting to not like how they have access to my account and can see my balance and recent purchases at my age. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, even if still living at home, you are entitled to a lot more privacy at 25. Also, your money is your money, they should have asked rather than assuming you would be fine with it. ######


Prompt:
My neighbors have an active 2 year old who is outside constantly. They often supervise him but he runs away pretty fast and sometimes evade their views. He is constantly playing on my front porch and flower bed. Moving my rocks and flower bed coverings etc. They sometimes catch him quickly enough and move him away but sometimes they also just let him continue playing there.  I feel petty because it sounds like not a big deal but there are 3 issues that I have with this.

1) I have a motion doorbell so when he plays in my porch area, it goes off on my alerts constantly. Yes I can turn off the notifications but then I wouldn’t get notifications for when I actually have visitor which is what it’s there for.

2) it riles my dog up like crazy so him to see a little toddler outside playing so close. So my dog ends up barking like crazy for the duration of his play

3) I have a fairly large window well to the basement window which is about 2.5-3ft deep. It is completely uncovered and fully open in the flower bed.

This is my biggest concern that the kid will run into the flower bed and fall in the window well. Now I have no kids and I don’t want to put a grate on it bc it obstructs my view in the basement. And in general, no adults would step in there but since this kid keeps playing in there, I’m worried that I’m liable for any injuries!

So today, he was playing with in the flower bed again with his caregiver watching. I went up to my front window to gesture like what are you doing?? And the caregiver pulled the kid away while looking disgusted at me. Reddit: AITA here?? ######

Response:
 NTA, especially since your neighbors "often" supervise him. Which implies that they sometimes **don't** supervise him. Who the feck lets a 2 year old wander outside (except for fenced-in backyards, etc) without constant supervision??

There are three kinds of people: absent-minded parents, stupidly negligent parents, and looking-to-sue-someone parents. ######


Prompt:
Hi everyone.

I live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience.

My wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed.

Our next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck.

Today my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red.

I stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.”

I came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior.

My wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######

Response: NTA, especially since it sounds like they’re breaking the social gathering limit in a time like this. ######


Prompt: I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ######

Response: NTA, eat whatever the fuck you want. Are you dunking your pizza in your milk and pouring milk into your spaghetti? /s ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

So... Long story short, my best friend got divorced after cheating on her husband. They tried to make it work for months before it came to that, even though she was still in a relationship with the other person, unbeknownst to the ex husband. It was.... A lot. And messy. But I supported her the best I could long distance, not judging her, just wanting her to make the best decision given the circumstances.

Fast forward about 6 months from the actual divorce, and well over a year since this all started. BFF is still with the other guy, and her ex has moved on and now has a gf. I remained friends with the ex on social media because I like him. I think he is a good person. Also, she never unfollowed him and continued to like his posts including pictures of him and his new girl. I MADE SURE that she had liked one of their photos before I started liking his stuff again!

Last week he posted a cute picture with her with a #wcw tag and I liked the picture. A day or so ago BFF texted me telling me it really hurt her that I like his posts about his new girlfriend. I was really apologetic but also pointed out that she had been liking their photos together so I didn't think it would bother her.  She accepted my apology but went on to explain that basically he moved on from their relationship too quickly after pretending to work on it, so she was hurt..... Even though she was seeing the other dude all the while?! I was flabbergasted, and now I'm frustrated with the whole situation.

Sounds really dumb and it is, but I would like an outsider's opinion.

Am I an asshole for liking his pictures? ######

Response: NTA, dude it's a picture and SHE cheated on HIM not the other way around ######


Prompt:
My (24f) boyfriend (28m) wants me to potentially reverse the tubal ligation surgery I had. For reference, I had the surgery for a variety of reasons, including that there are several genetic issues within my family that I would be hesitant to pass on.

He has said that he would pay for it because he wants bio kids one day, but due to issues with my physical and mental health, I don't think it's safe, and I would prefer to adopt.

Am I being the unreasonable one here? ######

Response: NTA, double down and get a salpingectomy to remove them. Him asking that of you makes my skin crawl. Good for you for making that decision for yourself and don’t ever let anyone question it. ######


Prompt:
Caught my neighbor spraying weedicide on my lawn (in my fenced in backyard) because she said “she was sick of all the weeds” and thought she was doing me a solid.

1. I like dandelions they are good for the bees

2. I have pet rabbits, dogs, cats, and a tortoise i like to roam the yard and all of them eat or at least nibble and lick the grass so it’s literally poisoning my pets.

So anyway, I kick her the fuck out and take all my pets inside.

Now 2 of my rabbits are dead and another is in critical condition. I’ll never be able to let my pets outside again to eat the grass because weedicide takes forever to go away because it can sit in the soil for who knows how long and Im worried that the dogs and cats might end up having a reaction too since they also nibble the grass (call me overprotective or over cautious IDC I love my animals)

So I’m suing her for: damage to my property because it is now unusable for my animals, veterinary bills, and emotional damage due to the deaths of my two rabbits.

I’m also trying to get the cops to pursue a case of animal abuse or at minimum criminal damage because she did basically poison my animals but I doubt anything will come from it because I have to prove ill-intent but they are pursuing her for criminal trespass.

She’s a Karen. I think she deserves it for thinking she had any right to be on my property at all; and especially because it’s killed my pets and now Idk what to do about my lawn because I’m not risking another animal’s life by letting them out (at least unsupervised for at least a year. However my parents and my girlfriend think I’m being unnecessarily cruel because it “was an accident and she thought she was just being a good neighbor, and that Im making it to be a bigger deal than it is” and should just ask for her to pay my vet bills ######

Response:
 NTA, don't trespass, don't mess with peoples property, if you want to do something "nice" ask permission.
Idk if removing your toplayer and putting turf down would make it safe for pets again but if so she should pay for that ######


Prompt:
I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.

Last year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.

He has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or /he/ would cut me off for his own health.

I do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA, don't jump on his grenade. ######


Prompt:
My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.

My sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he  that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said  I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, does she want him growing up crippled? That would create far more hardship for him than wearing braces for a few months as a baby (and if anyone makes fun of him, he won't care nor remember, and shame on them for making fun of a literal baby). Poor kid. ######


Prompt:
I (23,F) have been with my boyfriend (25,M) for nearly 18 months now.

We have been living together for the past 5 months in his apartment. We split rent and utilities/food shopping 60/40 based on our income. He earns a little more than me as I've just finished my degree.

We have been lucky enough to be able to continue working throughout this crisis, as we both have jobs which mean we can work from home.

My boyfriend recently won £1,000 (around $1246)on a scratch off lottery ticket. We had a quick discussion regarding the winnings and decided together (he actually suggested it first) that we would put it in a savings account to start a savings fund to buy a house together.

I was very happy with this as his apartment isn't the biggest and we have been discussing possibly starting a family in the near future.

Life continued as normal for a few weeks until I get a text message from my boyfriend telling me to 'come outside'. I leave the apartment and my boyfriend is sat in a beautiful, top of the range Lamborghini. Obviously my first question was 'where did you get this'. He explained that he has a friend who knows a guy who rents his car out for 24 hours at a time for £1,500! He put some of his own money towards his lottery winnings and picked this car up for the day.

Obviously I was livid and refused to have any part of it. My boyfriend was obviously happy as larry swanning around in this car all day driving past friends houses and letting them drive it.

This was last week and things are still very tense, he says he should be able to spend his own winnings on whatever he wants but I think he should have kept to his original promise and put the money away for something productive and beneficial to our future.

AITA?

TL;DR: Boyfriend won 1k on scratch off lottery ticket, agreed to put it towards saving for house fund, rented Lamborghini for the day instead. ######

Response: NTA, do yourself a favour and learn now that this dude is not ready for real commitment. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US.
I woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs. I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply "yes please" and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.

 While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says "dad my cup was there" his response was "you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning"... I hear this conversation and I ask if "my wife had her cup in place", he said "yes but she knows how I am".... I responded back with " you are just going to have to wait until she is finished"  he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter! I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so.
So AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada? ######

Response: NTA, dem be some rude ass guests... ######


Prompt: Hello, i'm a 24 year old Man, and recently somethings happened, i recently moved in to a new neighborhood, and started recycling my trash, and even bought special trash bins for that, no longer after, my neighbour started saying that my "hippie trash" was appearing at his frontyard, and demanded that i payed him to clean it, or put a special blocking fence so that any racoons did the same thing again, i got confused because there were no racoons along the neighborhood, but i payed him and built the fencing, and even started to think about getting cameras, the next week my neighbour said the same thing, and said he was calling the cops if i didn't do anything, i paid him again, cleaned his frontyard and decided to instal cameras, three days after i installed the cameras, i woke up with him almost breaking my door because of trash again, i tried to calm him down while he started calling the cops, i then checked the cameras to discover that not only it wasn't racoons, but himself was taking my trash, and putting in his frontyard so i could pay him and clean, i lost almost 2,000 dollars in him, and i got furious, i knocked on his door, and asked if he had called the cops, he said he didn't did it "yet", so i called them myself, after showing the recordings and explaining the story, he was arrested and was taken away, but now i feel guilty, (i forgot to say he has a 3 year old daughter, that he takes care alone), i don't know if i did right, so, Am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, definitely not the asshole. Your neighbor fucked up ######


Prompt:
Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.

 Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there.

Then, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######

Response: NTA, dad's probably cranky because he's dehydrated ######


Prompt:
So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage.

My sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work.

This means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime )

At this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza.

She does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.

Am I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.

AITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######

Response:
 NTA, Compassion burn-out is a real thing,  **but don't be upset with her for not wanting to follow your exact protocol**. Consider talking to her about alternatives to pain pills as that may be why she's hesitant. You don't always have to go running after her if she's vomited from the pain,  but you can show kindness in other ways.

It is not up to you to take care of someone who won't help themselves in their own way.

Edit: typo ######


Prompt:
So my brother just had a baby a month and a half ago with his wife and due to coronavirus we haven't been able to see her until recently.

My mother (62) has been looking forward to meeting her and since the baby has been here with us now for a few days along with my brother and his wife, she has been very helpful with her, and loves bonding with her granddaughter. I have zero issue with this, I think it's absolutely lovely.

Here is where I might be the A.
My mom offered to have the baby sleep with her and my dad during the night. Brother and wife said ok, if they want and that was that, but I, after seeing how they placed her voiced my concerns about it being dangerous for the baby. She sleeps between my mom who is a pretty wide framed lady and my dad. They have conjoined mattresses and there is a gap between the two mattresses where the baby ends up having her head when they fall asleep. She also has her little feet somewhere by/under my moms body and I'm afraid that she might squish her.

I told my mom that I'm worried about the safety of the baby but she says it's a womans instinct to not lay on the baby during sleep. I'm just concerned because she is getting older and is becoming more of a deep sleeper that something bad might happen, but they say I'm too nitpicky and give me angry looks if I say I think something isn't safe.

So, am I the asshole? Do I need to but out? ######

Response: NTA, co-sleeping has accidentally killed many babies and that is a horrible thing to happen. you were just voicing your concerns and that doesn’t make you an asshole ######


Prompt:
Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.

There's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.

When I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it "off limits" for my eating in their mind.

AITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######

Response: NTA, chefs sample their dishes all the time. It'd be a liiiiitttle weird if it was actually the dog-specific food, but smoked mackerel is some good stuff. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 28F and my parents just don't know how to cut the cord. Part of this is due to my 35 year old brother who has been and still is reliant on them. It's more my father than my mother and it's gotten exponentially worse since I bought my own home. I am completely self sufficient and have never asked their help for ANYTHING save maybe an opinion here or there. I am lucky enough to financially maintain my own lifestyle because I work hard to do so. My dad believes everything is an open invitation for him to take control of my life.

I do not want to seem ungrateful because he has done a ton for me with the only caveat being that I never fucking asked for it! When I was first moving into my home he would randomly pop over with this trinket or that furniture that I never even wanted and still don't to this day. It has caused many an arguement and I've even thought about changing the locks on my door. I never even gave him a key by the way, he made a copy of the one I had given my mother to hang on to in case of emergencies. I don't want any of the shit he gives me and I don't need the charity. I just want to live my own life.

The final straw happened today. I'm a nurse, and I work back to back night shift this week. After a grueling 14 hour shift I was finally able to relax enough to close my eyes only to be woken up about 3 hours later by neighbors landscaping. Aggravating but whatever I can't control other people. After tossing and turning I felt like the sound was getting closer...because it was! It was not my neighbors. My father and brother took it upon themselves to come and mow/weedwhip my lawn. I'm literally laying here crying because I'm so tired, aggravated, and just genuinely pissed off.

I don't want to seem like an ungrateful brat but Jesus Christ I just want my boundaries respected. Am I wrong to feel this way? ######

Response: Nta, change your locks and set boundaries.  They will probably be mad at you but if they set their boundaries the you have too. ######


Prompt:
I recently got into a spat with my current boyfriend over this topic.

It started because he wanted to know where I got my Tony chopper plushy from as he wanted to buy one for his sister and I told him that I didn't know because it was a gift from my high school boyfriend. He got kinda bummed out and asked me if I had any other stuff from exes and I was honest. A few books, a Chanel parfumé and some of my earring (not that expensive stuff). We then got in an argument about keeping things from exes. He belives that once the relationship is over you shouldn't keep anything from them because that means that you moved on. My stance is.... That they are objects that I like and throwing them away /gifting them is unnecessary. I don't connect those things to my exes and I don't think about them when I use them. Maybe this comes from the pov that his relationships ended badly where as mine just didn't. My high school bf and I broke up because we were just stupid kids and the other 2 and I noticed we were not going in the same directions so we had a clean cut and are on good terms. We don't talk or anything but if we ever run arround the same circle we can be cordial. His ex cheated on him and the ex before ghosted him so maybe that is that?

So AITA for keeping things from my ex boyfriends? ######

Response: Nta, certainly not over the sort of things that you’re describing. I have things I’ve been gifted by exes that I chose to get rid of because they were deeply personal and it felt inappropriate to keep them but what you’re describing is pretty normal gift items. How long ago did you split up with your high school bf out of interest ######


Prompt:
I (21M) live with my mother (55) and younger sister (16), but I'll be moving out my partner in a month. I have a good relationship with my mother of mutual respect and collaboration, ever since my dad left, we've been a team in keeping the house afloat in term of finances and chores, however, with time, my mother has become messier and messier. What bothers me the most is that she leaves empty bottles, cans and egg shells in the kitchen sink.

I try to do my part but it's a big house and I work full time, I've talked to her multiple times about making my sister help around the house or hiring someone to clean if she's to tired to do things, but she always answers with "maybe" or "we'll see". We've been having ants, roaches and I've seen RATS in the kitchen, and I just get depressed and anxious being here, because I just really, REALLY hate living in this condition.

So one day I send a picture of egg shells and an empty can in the sink to the group chat (were my mother and the rest of my adult siblings are) with something like: "this is why have roaches" to which my siblings answered  with disgusted comments. After a while my mom came a cleaned the kitchen, so every time she leaves trash on the sink, I send a picture and she comes and cleans it. I don't like embarrassing my mother, but I'm tired of telling her that we'll get sick if she keeps leaving shit in the sink! My siblings have told me that I should let it go since I'm moving out soon, but that doesn't change the fact that my mother and my sister will keep living in a shithole if they don't clean more. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, call them out! Roaches and other pests are not sanitary ######


Prompt:
First post, and on mobile.

So I parent my child who's 19 since you wanted to live with me until he enrolls in University. Yesterday was his birthday so I decided to get him a phone. It was an iPhone 7. As soon as I gave it to him that day, he stomped away and gave me back the phone pulling me a piece of ass for getting him an old phone. He's too old for me to spank. I returned the phone back to the store. After I got home and let him know, he verbally lectured me that he changed his mind. I cut him off and told him if he calls me another name he would be moving out. He stomped away and never talked to me since. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, buy your own damn phone. ######


Prompt:
So for context I (16F) live with my mother and two younger brothers.

My mom sometimes enters the bathroom while I’m occupied in it. This doesn’t happen every single time i’m in there, but over the years she has done it quite a lot.

I take around 30 minute showers. Sometimes she needs to use the restroom or she needs to apply her makeup and she just doesn’t wait for me to finish showering. She shouts at on the other side of the door and says, “I’m going to go in!” I shout back no, yet she does it anyways. To do this she gets a fork and picks at the door lock she can open the door.

The thing is I’m not comfortable with her just walking in when I’m taking a shower. I’m uncomfortable with her seeing me naked at this age honestly. When I told her this she said, “Why? You’re a girl and besides, I saw you naked all the time when you were very young.” I retort that she never goes into the bathroom when my younger brothers are taking a shower and she just says “that’s because they are boys. I can’t do that.”

At this point I’m beyond frustrated so I just walk away. The next day while I’m taking a shower the same thing is about to happen and I just lose it. I yelled “You are so fucking annoying” and my mom is so angry. I’ve never sweared or said anything that aggressive like that towards her before.

When I finish showering she goes on a 15 minute rant saying things like how I disrespected her and that she can do whatever she wants because she owns the house.

I am currently grounded. She took my old tablet, she doesn’t let me watch TV, and I’m not allowed to use the house computer. However, I hid my phone away from her and I only use it while not near me and I’m in my room. She’s very angry at me and says that I will stay grounded until I give her my phone. I’m honestly not going to do that and my phone is the only device I use anyways so I don’t really care.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA, buy a cheap plastic door wedge and ram it under the door when you shower. If she picks the lock, the door won't open. ######


Prompt:
I (30f) took on full support of my step-daughter (16f) about 2 years ago. We get no help from her actual mother in any way because laws are complicated. Up until 2 years ago I would have said her mother, her father and myself had a shockingly good working relationship regarding my daughter. Then 2 years ago we got a call from a concerned friend that caused us to take my daughter full time.

Since then it has come to light they were hiding that her mother is an alcoholic, that her mother let her friends and boyfriends abuse my daughter emotional and physically, and that she was spending all of our child support on boyfriends while telling friends we were doing nothing for my daughter at all.

A couple weeks ago my daughter overheard my husband and I upset that her mother had claimed our daughter on her taxes even though she didn’t spend a single night sleeping in her house. Since then my daughter has decided she can ask her mother for all kinds of toys and such because her mother “owes her 4 thousand dollars of support.” I have discussed with her that manipulating people and using people is very wrong, but she says her mother deserves it. I can’t say I don’t agree, but I am concerned that I am just very angry with her. So I am turning to a third party. Am I the asshole for not stepping in for forcefully and making my daughter treat her mother better?

Edit: My daughter does have a therapist but it has been interrupted by covid-19 as she refuses phone therapy. We are doing our best until everything opens up again. ######

Response: NTA, but...clearly this isn’t about toys. It’s about your stepdaughter trying to cope with extremely negative things and perhaps trauma. Manipulating her deadbeat mom is not ultimately going to make her feel better. I hope stepdaughter is in therapy ######


Prompt:
For context, I’m 24 and live on my own.

My little brother Miles is 16 and living with our mom and stepdad.

Miles has had problems in the home, including yelling with his stepdad and mom.

From what miles has told me, his stepdad is verbally abusive to him including telling him that he’s not his real son and that he should get a job and move out as soon as possible.

I was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me that he is so tired of living there and that he wishes he could live with me. (We can bubble with people here now because of Covid).

Apparently our mom heard him saying that he wants to come live with me because she got upset with him and called me saying that he could never come live with me because I’m “irresponsible” and not his “real parent.”

I told her that I’ve been more of a dad than our real dad (he’s in prison) or his stepdad ever has been and she told me that I’m on thin ice and I have to watch my step or I’ll never see him again.

I’m conflicted. I know I’m not his parent but I honestly would take him in. His smart and deserves a good life but at the same time I’m not his parent and I know my mom does love him but she makes bad choices in men.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but... you might want to look into what the legal situation is in your state/country. He is a minor, so I’m not sure at what point it’s truly up to him. You might need to essentially go to court or something but IANAL so take that with a lot of salt. ######


Prompt:
I'm a single dad, 43 years old. Computer programmer. My son, let's call him Jack, is 17 years old. Jack's mom died when he was 10, but thankfully we both handled our grief together quite well.

When Jack got his first laptop, five years ago, I took my time explaining how the internet worked, the dangers, etc. I allowed him to create a social media account, as long as he allowed me to check on it whenever I wanted, which was a privilege I made use of a few times until he turned 15 and I realized I could trust him, having never asked for it since then. He allowed me to know where he stored his account passwords just in case, but I never really looked for them, so his social media and computer activity have been a complete mystery to me in the last couple of years.

However, I was always fearful he would try to hide something or get into something dangerous, so I installed a keylogger just in case, always thinking about his safety. I never had to use it and, the more I watched him grow up, I eventually I realized I would never really use it, but I never bothered to remove it.

My sister and I were talking about this in a casual conversation regarding privacy and privacy apps and my niece overheard us (they were born the same year). She got offended I would do such a thing, claiming it was a horrible invasion of Jack's privacy, and that I should be ashamed, and the only reason she hasn't told my son was because my sister told her she'd ground her for meddling in my parenting.

So, reddit. AITA for having installed a keylogger even though I never had to use it? ######

Response: NTA, but YWBTA if you didn't tell your son that you had it installed when he was a kid and that you were going to uninstall it. explain that you never used it and you just wanted to be safe. say that you're sorry for not trusting him UNINSTALL IT. I totally understand, having a kid at age 12 browsing the internet is a terrifying thing, and i understand why you did that. You're a good dad OP, I hope to see an update where you talk to your son about it and then uninstall it. ######


Prompt:
Ok backstory, this is all pre-covid. My neighbors property borders mine on 2 sides.

We did not have a fence between our yards, and both of us have dogs. I thought it might be advantageous to put one in, so my dogs could run free, without worrying about them getting out. I approached them about splitting the cost of the parts that adjoin our property, since we both would benefit, and he initially agreed.

I sought out a few quotes, and found what I thought was a good contractor, at a good price, and gave him a copy the quotes. Several days go by, and he says he no longer wants to share the cost of the fence. Just to be clear, I don't think it's a financial issue.

Ok, fine. I proceed as planned, this time I'm paying for the full cost, since this would make my dogs safe and happy.

The day of install comes, and our contractor has to reschedule. Bummer, but not the end of the world. That same day, I see a (different) contractor in my neighbors yard putting in...a gate and a few feet of fence going back to side his house.

I see this for what it is, and decide to teach wise-ass a lesson. Install day comes around again, and this time, instead of installing it on the property line, I asked the contractor to set this section back 1 foot.

This now means his gate is worthless since his dog can easily walk around it, unless he connects to the fence I paid for on my property, which he can't legally do, and I refuse to allow.

The wives are pissed at the whole thing, since previously we were all friendly, but it seems to have caused a bit of friction, mostly between the husband and I.

I humbly await your verdict. ######

Response:
 NTA, but your neighbor is. He wants the fence, but doesn't want to pay for the shared portion. Good for you. Be careful, he could claim rights to that portion if he has it long enough, but it's only a foot.

Edit: It's called adverse possession. ######


Prompt:
I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.

She really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie.
She thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind.
Especially in conversations with others where she would talk "for" me.

Today I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime.

She looked at my dad and said: "Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?"
I was confused that she would lie about me.
Me: "That's not true."
She ignores me.
I say it again, loudly.
She still ignores me.
Me (yelling because I'm frustrated): "Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!"
Then she stormed out whilst saying: "You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!"

I know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results.

AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA, but your mother is. No one likes being lied about, and on such a small matter?

I think you should take an approach like another redditor: She was being called the wrong name (Her name was Tina and they called her Tiana, Tiara, Tia, etc) so she started calling *them* the wrong names (Jessica is Jennifer, Chad is Charles, etc). Perhaps you can take a similar approach to your mother. Make small lies about her to her face like she does you. If she can dish it, she should be able to take it. ######


Prompt:
I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.

he frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse.

as much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial "support"(he blows all his money on stupid things)

my mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care).

I recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like "your mom needs you to stay here", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.

today was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone "because she wanted to do something nice for him". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.

I think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.

AITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ######

Response: NTA, but your mom seems to really be under his influence. It's a terrible thing that she may be suffering too from him, but you shouldn't have to suffer as a result of it. If you feel that's what you need to do for now, maybe limit contact instead of burning the bridge altogether. If that still isn't enough though, then I think you have every justified reason to walk away. ######


Prompt:
When I was 3, my parents had a divorce. Even though my father got visitation every other weekend, my mom made the dumb decision to run away with me to a different state.

I didn't see my father since and consider my stepfather my actual father.

I'm now 15 and I'm living with my father after my mom was caught and arrested. She had a short prison sentence and I'm now only allowed supervised contact with her.

So look, I know my mom did a bad thing. But it's done. I'm now being made to live with a family who are strangers to me.

I had to leave my whole life and move to a different state. I'm so unhappy here.

My school doesn't even have the sport I was relying on to get me through college.

And I just can't get along with my father's wife and their 11 year old son, who has autism.

And my father is being desperate about us having a relationship but it's just too wierd for me. I have asked him several times to let me go to my grandmother's house but he refuses.

I just think he wants a kid who's "normal". But I don't care if he buys me stuff. I didn't grow up with him.

I'm not happy and I've been making sure they know about it. I figured if they don't want me to be happy then they can be miserable too.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but your mom is. I think something alot of people in the comment section are forgetting is that you just can't force people to get along or expect a kid who've been uprooted to settle well in a new house hold, especially as one as stressful as the one OP is describing. Your dad really wants a relationship with you and no it's not his fault for taking you but he can't force you to like him or his family. You can absolutely let them know your unhappy but don't go out of your way to be dickish about it or to intentionally cause malice.

Another thing I think people are forgetting is it's incredibly easy to lie about ex's to parents and they probably thought the mom had custody and now have to deal with not seeing thier grandkid. I would suggest going over visitation rights for grandparents, some states have them others don't. At least you would be able to see them and it might make it easier for you to live with your dad.

Edit: Grammer and thank you to whoever gave the silver to this comment, I've never got one before. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.

However three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants.

Later that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and "masculinity". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear "identity" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy?

TL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but your husband is. You're not banning boyish things, you're just allowing your kid to play with things he likes. I would do the same for my kid if he was interested in dress up, or wanted his nails painted or whatever. Mine will likely grow up to be cis (I'd be fine with it if he wasn't but it seems like he will), and little bit of glitter or nail polish isn't going to threaten that in any way. ######


Prompt:
I (33f) am very big on jewelry. I have made myself quite a large collection over the years. I have 4 siblings, 2 sisters 2 brothers. I've recently decided to sell a few pieces that I found myself wearing less and less. They're still beautiful and in perfect condition. From the pieces that I chose to sell I gave a few to my sisters.

Only one of my brothers are married. I guess my SIL found out that I was giving jewelry to my sisters and asked my brother why I didn't give her one. I've never gotten along with my SIL. She knows why, but suddenly seems to forget that when I have a necklace she likes.

I tell my brother I don't want to give her anything. She isn't my sister, and I haven't given my other brother anything also. Brother gets mad that I'm singling out SIL and making her feel left out.

He's still nagging me. I still have the necklace SIL wants, but every phone call I get from my brother makes me want to give it to her less. ######

Response: NTA, but your brother and your SIL are assholes.  It's okay for her to ask (a little rude, but not over the line), but then acting entitled to the necklace is solidly in asshole territory.  You don't "owe" her anything. ######


Prompt:
I work in the food industry, and today at my job something interesting happened.

A lady walked in with a little girl, and asked my boss in Spanish, “does anyone here speak Spanish?”. To which i respond in Spanish “yes i do, how can i help you?”

We get her order, she pays then leaves.

After she leaves, my boss comes up to me and says, “we don’t speak Spanish at ____(food industry name). The lady obviously spoke English if she came with her daughter who was born here. She was just being lazy. Even if she didn’t speak English, we could’ve figured something out, we don’t need to be speaking Spanish to our customers”.

And I’m just like “?” I’m respectful to authority so i just told him okay, it won’t happen again. During the moment i was so confused, like, i thought i was helping HIS customers.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but your boss sure is. ######


Prompt:
I \[30M\] live with two roommates - Kate \[32\] and Sean \[27\].

Sean is a genuinely sweet guy, but, uh, kind of lacking on the common sense department, to put it gently. The joke goes that he's secretly 5 years old \[we say that to his face, and he agrees with that statement\]. Until last July, he was juggling Acting school, waiting tables for money and then also got caught in some really obvious pyramid scheme.

How obvious? He has the diagram of the "company's model" hanging over his desk, and it's pyramid-shaped. The poor guy pays 100$ every month for "membership" in his "business", gets nothing in return and is still sticking with it. When he ran out of money, he got his parents to pay it for him. He also stopped going to auditions about a month after graduation, to focus on his "business". Both Kate and I tried to warn him gently multiple times, but Sean kept insisting we were "wrong about it" and "don't know anything". I've never seen him getting so defensive and angry about anything else. We eventually left it alone, though we kept rolling eyes about it whenever he was making "business calls", complained about not having money, etc.

Yesterday, when I got back from work, Sean was on the couch, doing a "business call" \[AKA trying to recruit people to his MLM\]. Afterward, he came to my room to chat, and started complaining about a seemingly "Why do random people keep adding me to random shady groups?". Without thinking, I replied "Maybe they're trying to recruit you to their own pyramid schemes".

Sean got furious, and started ranting about how he's "disappointed" with me not "fact-checking" \[I am familiar with that specific MLM...\], and for not "supporting him", and how he "expected better" of me and Kate. Afterwards he walked out of the apartment, in what I'm pretty sure was an attempt to actively avoid me.

I can't help but to feel terrible about that incidence, but also kind of irritated and annoyed. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but you're going to get a lot of pushback from him. mlms target people who are in a vulnerable state of mind, and your roommate certainly fits the bill. he's going to be 30, he's not made it in acting yet and he's waiting tables. in swoops this mlm, promising him that with just a little elbow grease he can make something of himself. you're a good friend to try and get him to see sense, but don't expect him to appreciate it at the moment.

also, check out  [https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/)  for advice on dealing with someone sucked into an mlm. ######


Prompt:
A little context to explain why I chose not to tell him. My father (50) has a number of serious health problems, heart disease, kidney failure (currently on dialysis), he's had 2 strokes, diabetes, and anger issues. He also is a single father, my mother passed when I was 9, leaving him to raise my brother (currently 22M) and me (20F). My father is a pastor and very outspoken about his beliefs, he's homophobic, racist, and really the stereotypical white male.

I am currently in the military, so is my brother. A year before I left for bootcamp my brother, who had joined a year prior to that, video called my father and told him he had gotten tattoos. One on each shoulder of a dubstep band he likes. My dad was livid, angry, screaming, all sorts of horrible things were said and within a week he was in the hospital because of high blood pressure and what was a minor heart attack, all because he got mad at my brother for tattos he could easily cover with a shirt.
Shortly before I left for bootcamp I wanted to cut my really long hair to a pixie cut so it would be easier for me in boot camp. I asked my father and he became livid again and screamed at me, but eventually after fighting for months he let in and I got the chop, mainly because I told him if he didn't give me permission I'd do it myself.

Now, last October I went and got 4 tattoos on my left forearm and have yet to tell him. I see I may be the asshole, alot of people pointed out I should tell him because he's my father and deserves to know, people say I shouldn't be scared and hide my tattos from him and all of that sort of talk. I don't have an issue with being scared of him, I'm far from home and could care less about him being mad. But I choose not to tell him because of his health reasons, I'm his little girl and he hates tattoos, I couldn't live with myself if telling him I bought MYSELF pieces of art for MY BODY lead to him being in the hospital or possibly pushing him towards his death.

So, AITAH? ######

Response: NTA, but you shouldn't feel bad if he finds out, even if he does get sick it's not your fault. It's not healthy for you guys to have to hide parts of yourself. Your dad needs counseling, not subservient kids. ######


Prompt:
My childhood friend (Gary) is marrying his fiancee (Brittany) (also a friend) next year. He has asked me to be one of his groomsmen, and I excitedly accepted. I asked him if anyone else we both know is involved, and he said that another guy we know from school is a groomsman as well. He then went on to add that he wanted our mutual friend (Fred) to be a groomsman as well.

Turns out Brittany mentioned to the pastor at the church they want to get married in that Fred is a gay man, and the pastor refused to do the service if Fred is in the bridal party. So Gary and Brittany asked Fred not to be a groomsman, instead they want him to read a bible passage. To my understanding, Gary had already asked Fred to be a groomsman, and then went back on it after Brittany's conversation with the pastor.

I want to talk to Fred about this, because we're very close friends, and all of us have been friends since middle school. This could break up our entire group of friends.

I really want to support Fred, and I genuinely believe that the decision made by Brittany and Gary is despicable and unacceptable. I want to show Fred that I support him and that I won't accept people treating him like this. I want to show him solidarity. I also want to show Brittany and Gary that it's completely unacceptable to treat someone the way they treated Fred.

WIBTA if I refused to be part of their wedding because they sided with the homophobic pastor over our life-long friend? ######

Response: NTA, but you really need to know what Fred thinks of all this before anything else. ######


Prompt:
My (25M) wife (29F)  has always been against our daughter wearing clothes she deems too "adult" meaning crop tops and certain shorts and skirts (NOT  all shorts/skirts just the too short ones, unsually common for children's clothes)

My wife loves shopping for new clothes for our daughter, at this stage she has so many clothes and shoes that she has a whole  wardrobe and some under her bed, usually separated with "casual" clothes and "nice" clothes (all clothes that she outgrows end up being donated) - we've been meaning to get new summer clothes since she's outgrown hers but delivery isn't due for another month or two.

My mother decided to be wonderfully generous and get us some summer clothes, some nice dresses and skirts, but, there was a yellow off shoulder crop top in the mix.

My wife is adamant against letting our daughter wear it.

I texted my mother saying we appreciated a majority of the clothes but unfortunately we found the crop top a little unsuitable so we would give it back if she could return it and if she couldn't maybe donate it, I'm sure itll be useful for somebody else.

According to her I'm an AH for letting my wife "dictate" what our daughter wears and that we are being over the top so our daughter will lash out and basically judging her for getting that (calling her a bad grandma)

AITA?

We told her to see if she could return it. ######

Response: NTA, but you probably shouldn’t have told your mom anything other than, “Thank you”. I had a boy and, before and after he was born, people constantly bought him overalls. In my brain I’m like “he’s not a farmer”, but out of my mouth was , “thank you”. ######


Prompt:
AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?

He pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog).

He makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February.
I asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?

Edit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ######

Response:
 NTA, but you need to talk about your finances.

Nobody likes to spend their whole income on bills, you both have your right to spend money on whatever you like, no matter how much you make. You just have to make it clear between both of you how your money is going to be distributed. ######


Prompt:
Sister: sis
Brothers-in-law: bil
Me

I am renting a room in their home and am paying the agreed amount of rent on time. Some info about my sis and bil. They recently had a baby and have another on the way. They are in financial problems because they are constantly updating the house. New flooring, new granite counters, added an addition, etc. additionally, they owe a ton of money to their credit card companies because they are huge spenders.

Now they need more money and are pressuring me to pay them more than the agreed amount. They can barely pay their mortgage and sometimes pay it late. Also they have been eating my food, using my supplies (toilet paper, soap,etc), I help with my niece and cleaning.

on top of everything I have been watching my niece for free for hours. We are all in the medical field. So 12 hour shifts, 3-5 days a week depending on the OT available. So when I watch my niece, I am watching her for 12+ hours, 3 days a week. I haven’t mentioned payment becuase we are family.

But now we are regularly fighting due to Covid workload stress and me being upset about my prepped food being taken. I’m trying to be supportive becuase they are my family but I feel unsafe whenever they threaten to evict me. I don’t have a back up plan right now.

So we are all stressed out for various reasons. AITA for fighting with them at all? Should I be more supportive during this unprecedented time? I feel like I am being taken advantage of here. ######

Response:
 NTA, but you need to find somewhere else to live asap because this probably isn't a situation that's going to get better. you can try having a conversation with them about your feelings, but honestly if i were you, i'd be making other living arrangements. this doesn't sound healthy and it's not good for you to constantly be afraid of eviction when you are doing more than your part.

also, consider getting a minifridge and storing your meal prep there. ######


Prompt:
I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately.

So now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being "extra" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but you might want to consider getting more food if one or the other of you regularly seems to still be hungry afterwards.

You could also try, if he takes the rest without saying anything and you end up still hungry, ask him to go get/make you more food since he took what was left without considering your needs. ######


Prompt:
Hello, throwaway because I don't like to post.

I (21M) recently moved in with my girlfriend (21F), her friend (22F) and her gay friend (22M), while we are looking for a house, was supposed to be temporary, about 3-4 months. It has been three weeks of her gay friend making sexual comments about everything he finds a joke in.

I'll die in a video game and sign "fuck me". Every. Single. Time. he makes sure I hear him say "I'll be in the bedroom", "maybe later", "top or bottom",  etc...
I was working on Excel for my job and my girlfriend asked if I wanted to come get lunch, but I was busy and said "I'm pretty deep in a project right now". He yelled "deeper, daddy". From his bedroom.

I couldn't stand it, but bit my tongue because my girlfriend likes him and he never touched me. But Saturday night we stayed in and had a few drinks watching Netflix. Her gay friend came back around midnight and opened her door while we're cuddling to talk to her. He brings up how he loves "daddies" and knew he was going to say something, he always calls me daddy. "This skinny guy wanted to call him daddy, but he just doesn't have the look. [My name] has the daddy look, I'd call him daddy."

And I couldn't take it anymore. I told him "you're the type of gay people that everybody hates, shut the fuc* up".

He instantly started crying and my girlfriend is furious with me. She knows I hate it and she brushes it off everytime. I told her that you would never let me make those kinds of comments towards her female friend. She says that's different because we're both straight, which I think is absolutely irrelevant.

I can definitely see that I went too far with my comment and might wana apologize for going too far. But they all think I'm being homophobic and should remember that I'm a guest.
I just don't think it is too much to ask to not make sexual comments towards me.

AITA for yelling at my girlfriend's gay friend? ######

Response: NTA, but you could have handled it better. You are BOTH owed an apology from each other. Hopefully it will end with him learning to have more respect. Not everyone is cool with those little games, it’s disrespectful. & OP, watch out for your girlfriend. If she didn’t stand up for you then, she’s likely pretty weak minded so don’t expect anything different going forward. She should have talked to her friend a long time ago when you first told her it made you uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
My adult daughter (25) lives at home and works full time.  She flunked out of community college twice.  She makes decent money, but instead of working on getting her own place, she has bought an expensive (relatively) car, gets acrylic nails done regularly, has her eyebrows threaded, and just bought an Apple Watch.  She has no savings, and no plans to move out.  I have three teenagers as well, and an older daughter who lives across the country.

AITA for being so irritated every time she buys something extra or unnecessary? ######

Response: NTA, but you are enabling her so you are to blame for this behavior ######


Prompt:
Sorry if the title makes no sense, but I’ll do my best to explain it.

So basically, my friends dad always comments on things in my life but makes it like things only happen to me because I’m gay. Here’s an example: I’m studying law, her dad said that I’m studying law because “gay people like fucking bad boys” - meaning I only want to be a lawyer so I can have sex with clients. I currently have a cold sore, he said it's because I'm always sucking dick. If he finds out I'm reading a book, he'll tell her that it's "probably a gay porno mag". It's stupid stuff like that.

But it really annoys me. At first, it didn't, but then it didn't stop. I also don't know why my friend tells him this stuff - like me reading a book isn't something worth telling your family about. She's told me that "he's not homophobic, he just doesn't like seeing it." (I know that's an assholish thing to say, that's not what I want to know).

In retaliation, I've ended up saying stuff back like "your dad is just sad that I didn't represent him when he was in trouble with the law," "I got the cold sore from him, he should probably get an STI check," or like "I thought I recognised your dad on the cover of the magazine?". He doesn't find it funny, and he calls me a dick head, or a "poof". My friend also knows I don't like people commenting on my sexuality, or people talking about me when I'm not there.

AITA for flipping his comments to make him sound gay too? ######

Response: NTA, but why are you still friends with this person? like, it seems as though they're telling you the hurtful things their dad said for fun or to rile you up. ######


Prompt: I have 6 sisters and they always want to group text. 3 are nurses and we have a niece who is a EMT so they are constantly texting about medical stuff. They share pictures that are gruesome. When they aren't doing that it's gossip about their high school classmates. My sisters graduated when I was in elementary school. I do not know their classmates. I have been asking since 2014 to please keep me out of unimportant group messages. At first it was because my phone bill was increasing because they wouldn't stop, so I had to get unlimited data and text. Then I asked because the medical stuff was just gross to me. They laughed and said no and too bad. Finally one day after over 100 random texts I sent a message telling them to get me out of it because I don't care about useless drama and medical stuff, I said if it's important please tell me otherwise idc. Well last week my nephew had brain surgery and my sister didn't tell me because I don't want group texts. I told them that anything involving my nieces and nephews are important but I guess if I don't want an endless stream of group texts I don't deserve to be told about things at all. ######

Response:
 NTA, but they are. Cutting you out of family events because you have a different texting style? Are they even family if they care so little about you? I would have left every group chat without explanation years ago, and tore them a new one for being so fucking petty.

Onviously their gossip means more to them than you. ######


Prompt:
My dad passed away last year on my birthday, I was very close with him and am still getting through this loss. I had told my husband and family that the only thing I want for my birthday this year is to just be left alone and mourn if I need to or to relax and have some time to myself. I don’t want to fake being happy and social that day.

My brother in law and his wife are having their second child in early June and live about 1,700 miles away. My husband and his parents now want to go visit my bil the first week of July (which is when my birthday is) if all of the travel bans are lifted and if Coronavirus seems to be less of a threat.

I said I would prefer if we waited for the week after my birthday to go, or if they can’t wait, that I’m fine if they go without me and I can go at a later time. My in laws think I’m being unreasonable and that I should just push aside how I’m feeling. Also that I should use seeing the new baby and being social as a distraction to my sadness to “get over it faster.” AITA for not wanting to follow along with their travel plans? ######

Response: NTA, but they are for not allowing you to grieve. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it.
I seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######

Response:
 NTA, but there seems to be some communication problems between them and the situation is clearly delicate.

Give him the ~~bank account~~  deposit information, receive his money and send it to their parents with a thank you note.

Also, you should probably talk to someone about planning on doing that via text before sending him the ~~account number~~  information he needs to send you the money. That way you have proof of your good intentions, just in case this is some kind of elaborate ruse to test your honesty and they are all just waiting for you to give the account  number to call you a thief.

EDIT: Some commenters here called my attention to the fact that "give him the bank account" might be terrible advice, allowing for a myriad of scams. I thought it was standard everywhere to have one or two numbers that allow only for deposits and similar operations - this is how it works in Brazil and telling people those numbers is a common practice, generally regarded as safe (theoretically, a would be scammer couldn't do anything with them except giving you money). I realize this may not be clear from the way I worded my comment and I apologize for that. Neither OP nor anyone should share sensitive information that could lead to losing money or being scammed. ######


Prompt:
 I'm 21f and I'm married to my beautiful wife in December. We been together since eighth grade and engaged. In the end of November, she got diagnosed with cancer and her job's health insurance wasn't the best. The company I work for has better health insurance. The only way I can get her on my health insurance if I married her. So we went to the courthouse and got married. We decided to still act engaged and planning a wedding in December since we both love winter wonderland theme.

 Someone in my family found out and posted on social media. Everyone is mad and stressing out my wife who is on chemotherapy. I told everyone the reason and please stop stressing out my wife.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, but the person who posted it on Facebook is. This is one of the first aita posts that has made me genuinely upset. They obviously know your wife is sick and they still decided to go ahead and cause drama. Also all the people who are mad are assholes too if y’all were clearly planning a wedding, and if they were smart, they should know you probably eloped for an important reason (it’s not really a new concept). Even then why does your marriage matter that much to them? It’s you and your wifes wedding not anyone else’s. If I were in that situation I would not invite the person who posted it on Facebook and maybe not even the people who contacted you angrily (unless of course they apologized to my sick fiancé). ######


Prompt:
So, I (22f) love to sleep. My mom is working from home and spends most of her time in the kitchen. I wouldn’t call myself a night owl per sé, but I would say that no matter how late I stay up, I can end up sleeping until pretty late in the morning. My mom doesn’t like this. She usually doesn’t like when people are asleep while she is awake. This was a quality that partly led her to divorce my dad since he worked night shifts and slept during the day.

When she started getting up at 4:30 every morning, she decided to let go on getting everyone else up since that was an unreasonable time for me and my stepdad for obvious reasons. That being said, if I’m not awake by 9:30 am, she often comes in my room to vacuum, go through my closet to find laundry, start conversations, open my windows (she also doesn’t like knowing that someone’s curtains are closed when it’s daytime), and try to get me out of bed when I’m nowhere near awake. Her claim is if I don’t want her to do that, then I should be going to bed at the same time as her every night (8:30pm) that way I don’t feel tired in the mornings or sleep in.

About ten years ago, locks were installed on all of the doors in the house when my stepbrother stole the household phones and cell phones to get back at us for not sharing our phones when he broke his out of anger. After he moved out, I was told that if my door was locked for any reason other than to get dressed, the door would be taken off it’s hinges. I was 13 at the time and haven’t been told anything different since it was a fire hazard when my moms room was on the opposite side of the house. Renovations have happened since and that is no longer the case.

I want to start locking my door to keep my mom out of my room while I’m asleep, and I’ll get up when I want to get up. But if I do, I’m worried I’ll lose privacy since I’m technically still under her roof.
Reddit, WIBTA if I started locking my door? ######

Response: NTA, but the lock is not the issue. Your parent having zero respect for your privacy and personal space is the issue. Sit down with her and make it clear you expect a closed door to be respected, and if they do actually take the door off its hinges - move out. Hell no. ######


Prompt:
I should give a little backstory here: growing up, my parents were extremely wealthy. I watched my dad blow his money on a mansion, sports cars, and unnecessary purchases he made to show off his wealth. He owned a very successful and stable business, but decided to gamble it all away when he sold the company to start a new one that completely failed. We lost everything.
We moved out of the mansion and for the rest of my childhood and adolescence, we were so poor that we barely had money for food. I got made fun of in school for having old clothes that didn't fit me. My parents still would have cleaning people come over and clean our house and I would watch them pay them in cash as I sat there hungry. They did everything they could to keep up with their appearances while neglecting my needs.
Now on to today, their financial situation has improved thankfully, and I make a significant amount of money: more than they are making. My dad keeps making comments about how he is so glad I'll be able to take care of them now financially as I don't  think they have anything setup for retirement. They keep making frivolous purchases and are still being irresponsible with their money. I have a lot of financial goals I want to achieve and I have not factored in paying for their living expenses in their old age. I am bitter that they blew all of their money and the money that they did have, they did not use to take care of me growing up. I have worked hard for my wealth and I do not feel as though they deserve a significant share of it. AITA for not planning to support them? ######

Response: Nta, but tell them now not to plan on you as their nest egg. ######


Prompt:
Just some important info before i start:
My mom is 42
Im a 19yo, high school graduate, with extra credits and a full time job.
My little sister is 12

Okay so WIBTA if i told my mom to fuck off about constantly bringing up university?

My entire life my mom has always had
something to say about my schooling. While i was in highschool i was depressed and in an abusive relationship and even tho i might not have graduated with FANTASTIC grades, i didnt fail any classes and even graduated with extra credits.

School has never been for me, i have bad ADHD and im a horrible procrastinator when it comes to homework. So ive been very open with that with both my parents because i dont want to waste the money when i already have a full time job with good pay that i love.

So a few weeks ago we were sitting in the living room with my little sister and i made a joke about being smart and getting money (dont remember the joke specifically) and my mom decided to chime in and say "just dont be stupid like your sister and go to school and get a good job". I wanted nothing more than to lose it on her and it still hasnt stopped. She brings it up ALL the time even though she knows im happy and content with where my life is now ######

Response:
 NTA, but tell her to *back* off, not to f*** off. You still live at home.

As someone that spends a lot of time with teachers, the #1 complaint I hear is about parents that refuse to accept and support the realities of their children’s futures. Most of the kids I know that went straight to work are making a ton more than the ones that went to school, got a degree, got screwed in this economy, got laid off, and are living with their parents shoulder-deep in debt.

Also, high school procrastinators are *not* built for university. You know your strengths. Just make sure you can put your money where your mouth is. Mom’s a dick for that comment so go get a job, work hard, move out, get your life on, and prove her wrong. ######


Prompt:
I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie.

Today I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that.

I called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.

Obviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.

They called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her).

Now they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but remember to sign out next time. ######


Prompt:
We had online exams 2 weeks ago. There was this particular exam where 2/3 of the students cheated. This weeks the results were given. Out of those 2/3 maybe 7/8 got a zero on the exam for plagiarism.  They  claim that they didn't, and that they know all the topics.
The only option would be remaking the exam.
The problem starts here. I did not cheat, and had a hard time in the exam. Nevertheless, I got a 93. As I hate cheaters, I would like to expose them to the professor. As he have a group chat for the generation, I have taken many screenshots of thwm sending and copying others, aa well as their plans to excuse themselves from this.
So, WIBTA if I send them to the prof? ######

Response: NTA, but prepare for the consequences if they figure out who snitched.  I take it this is college?  They are paying good money to not learn anything. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account. My 14yr old sister still uses a pacifier nightly. My mother has never taken it away from her. When my sister was in kindergarten my mom asked her uncle who “was a doctor” when will she get rid of it, because apparently my mom could not be bothered with that task, and he told her that she will grow out of it on her own. To this day my mom says “he lied to me” to place blame.
I am in my thirties and do not live with them. I have a very close relationship with my sister but she will not listen to me when I talk about how it needs to go. I do not believe it to be my sisters fault, i think it’s my moms fault for not doing it herself. I asked my mom about it A couple times and she just says it was too difficult listening to my sister cry. Which I call bs on.
 I only want what’s best for my sister as she already has had consequences from using it for so long. I don’t mean to pressure her so much but I just cannot for the life of me figure out why my mom thinks this is ok. My sister understands the issue but I think at this point the only way she will let it go is if someone takes it away.
So, AITA or is my mom TA? Do you have any advice on this? My mom won’t do anything in regards to getting rid of it and I cannot convince her.

EDIT: she is going to need braces now because of this, it has created a gap longwise in her mouth. Also, the pacifier does not get changed regularly. My sister does wash it regularly than goodness but has probably had her current one for a few years.

EDIT: my sister and I are best friends. I would do absolutely anything for that kid. We have the exact same sense of humor and can talk about anything. I am never pressuring her rudely. ######

Response:
 NTA, but only because sucking on a pacifier can be incredibly damaging to teeth, it can effect the way the roof of the mouth forms also.   As she gets older the sucking motion will cause premature wrinkling around her mouth common in people who smoke, as well as people who use straws constantly.  This is truly your mothers doing.

The fact that your sister still uses one could be a concerning sign of emotional attachment issues. ######


Prompt:
Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.

So I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.

I usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.

So husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.

I asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing.

And that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”

Now I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ######

Response:
 NTA, but no offence, OP, but your husband sucks. You wake up, pregnant, at 3:45 and make ~~breakfast~~ lunch for him and the kids. Why can’t he do this himself since you say he wakes at eight in the morning? Does he work late into the night or something?

And the fact that he had the audacity to say “why are you so lazy” when you have a single day off is outrageous. ######


Prompt: So this semester i got straight A’s and my family was proud of me and told me I could pick dinner saturday. My mother and father said i could pick anything I want and that it doesn’t matter. But you see they’ve said this to me before and then always complain about my decisions. For example, on my birthday they let me pick dinner and I wanted to try Steak and Shake do I picked there. The entire time we ate my mother and father said things like: “the fries are so small and thin, why did you pick here” “my shake isn’t milky enough, you shouldn’t have picked here” “why did you pick that burger” “this place sucks”. I didn’t respond to anything they said about it though, i just happily ate my burgers fries and shake. The next year I learned and picked a place that’s one of their favorites. Anyway, so this time after telling me I could pick dinner, I asked if we could order from a sushi place and they straight up said no and told me how I was stupid for wanting to pick it. Then the day of, my mother comes to me and said since it’s going to be father’s day we are just going to get this certain steak joint. The place is good and I like it but it wasn’t what i was going to choose. I gave my mother a confused look and just said “oh okay, well then why did you tell me i could choose dinner?” Now for the past 20 minutes she’s been very passive aggressive and telling me how I was rude. We are getting that steak joint so I don’t understand why she is mad? Was I the asshole for saying that? ######

Response:
 NTA, but next time ask if instead of choosing the family dinner  you could have money to take a friend to dinner or lunch at a place of your choice.  it sounds like your choices are less expensive than theirs, and that they don't enjoy your choices anyway.

It is not really a treat for you to get to choose if they then complain to you about your choice!

Enjoy dinner with your dad though! ######


Prompt: I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ######

Response: NTA, but make sure you learn this important lesson right now.   Let this be the last bit of information you share with her before sharing with social media. ######


Prompt:
I lost a lot of weight (over 100lbs) in a short period of time, I understand it can take some getting used to, but I'm very tired of the comments.

I am a 24 year old guy, this kind of shit doesn't usually bother me but I can't seem to go a single day at work without some comment about my weight loss. It's been non stop since we reopened after lockdown.

Here are some of the rumours about me: I have cancer, I have aids, I'm on drugs.

I'm tired of it. Yes I'm quite skinny now, but no one was "concerned" about me when I was fat! It's all fake, they don't actually care, it's just gossip to them. There are plenty other people at work that are my weight or thinner, and no one cares!

A couple of coworkers seem legitimately concerned, but they were more polite. Even then I still get annoyed because my weight is quite frankly nobody's business but mine. People will bring me food from the vending machines and stare at me when I eat and it makes me nervous. I'm on a strict diet because obviously I have to MAINTAIN my weight loss, I can't just eat chocolate bars.

Yesterday one of the more gossipy ones, an older lady in her 50s, approached me in front of everyone telling me she was concerned I wasn't healthy and I wasn't able to do my job.

I'm perfectly able to do my job. I angrily told her it was none of her business and that if there were issues with how I was doing the job someone higher up would tell me. She then asked me straight up if I was using drugs. I yelled at her "I'm not on drugs and I don't have cancer either. Is a fat person losing weight really this shocking to you?" I then I turned to everyone watching and said if they make one more comment I'm going to HR.

Since then people have been kind of avoiding me and I wonder if I dealt with it too harshly. My only friend left at work said that people felt a bit uneasy around me and they thought I was overly aggressive.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but looking at your post history, I’d get some professional help. ######


Prompt:
I’ll keep this short.

So my sister and BIL are having a baby. She’s 4 months along.

My sister has BPD and she’s been getting serious mood swings but still absolutely refuses to see any doctor/therapist about it. I’ve known my BIL for years (since college) and he’s told me recently how tough things have gotten with my sister.

The breaking point came last week when BIL texted me saying sister has started to throw things at him. He said he came home with take out but got the wrong sauce or side or whatever, next thing he knew she was flinging silverware at him. When he tried to leave she grabbed a heavy bowl threw it at his face (it missed but still).

I immediately offered a place for him to get away. He took me up on the offer and stayed for 1 night while we tried to get my sister professional help again. She made a surprising 180 over the next day after BIL left and started calling all our relatives/family saying I’m trying to intervene and destroy her marriage.

She told our family and relatives that I was now conspiring with her husband to leave her while she’s pregnant. BIL has gone back now but things are still dicey and I told him to call me if things get out of hand again.

Both my parents called me today to say I’m betraying family. After I told them of her recent unhinged actions they said if I really cared I would make sure BIL stays with my sister who’s the real vulnerable one, not give him an “easy out” from marriage. They also said it’s obvious I didn’t care about her wellbeing or else I would’ve taken HER in instead of him. It’s true I never offered to take her in.

AITA if I don’t do any of this and just let BIL stay with me when he feels like it? I can’t help but feel like no one takes my sister’s terrible actions seriously in my family and I know if I were in BIL’s shoes I would want a place where I can distance myself from all that. ######

Response:
 NTA, but it might not be the best approach.   Letting your BIL stay is a safety vent, but it doesn't address the real problem.

Somebody needs to get that woman into therapy.  If she's a menace to her husband, throwing objects at his head, should she really be caring for a baby?

Try to get your parents on board with this idea.  Apparently you are currently "the enemy" in your sister's distorted world view, so your mother might be able to talk sense into her about seeking therapy.

Good luck. ######