Prompt:
I have exotic pets, large reptiles and small mammals.

His kids come over and start going in cages and leaving them unlocked and giving me a heartattack trying to find my pets they released (surprisingly none have killed each other yet)

I told him he needs to leep a better eye on them or Im going to ban them from my house.

Today they caused my tegu to drop his tail (which is extremely hard to do they don’t drop it as easily as your random house gecko it takes a lot of trauma)

So I kicked them and my brother out and said they aren’t welcome back until they learn to respect me and my animals.

My mom called me and said Im being a massive prick it’s “just a lizard”

First off I’m expecting around a $600 vet bill from this as I have to get him x-rayed to make sure it dropped in a way that didn’t harm him and if you know anything about tegus you know they have the intellect of a 3-5 year old child.

Second this isn’t the first time they were warned.

Third my brother told me to just buy locks for my cages, It’s not my responsibility to pay to have my cages locked and i don’t want the additional hassle of having to lock and unlock cages twice a day (some cages don’t even have a way to install a lock)

Me-23M brother 32M his kids 10F and 8M

AITA

TLDR: brothers kids don’t respect my animals so i kicked them out ######

Response: NTA, I used to volunteer at a zoo and it took roughly 5 minutes (or less) to teach a room of 20 5 year olds how to respect and be gentle with the animals. They're perfectly capable of being careful, they just realize that there will be zero consequences no matter what they do. ######


Prompt: So my baby bro(15) recently told me that he wants to come out to the parents and I immediately shut him down for it. Our neighborhood and family is strictly conservative and I know for a fact that his ass is getting disowned and kicked out if he does. Our country's childcare system is so messed up that it would be safer for someone to stay with their abusive parents than to be handed over to the state and I just barely started University so there's no way I can financially support him by myself. I know it must be hard for him to keep it to himself and a few close people but I just can't let him come out to my parents while still being so heavily dependent on them. Advice on any other way that I could handle this (if there is)would be much appreciated. ######

Response:
 NTA, I totally understand your concern. You really just want the best for him and I agree with you that right now that’s the best course of action. I have a little brother too so I feel you hard on this one.

If I were you, I’d try to open on the subject yourself if you ever have some alone time with your parents. Just to talk to them about modern day issues and see where they stand. Hopefully you can talk to them and almost convince them in a way that will help them be a little open minded.

I hope it makes sense, wishing the best for you all 💖 ######


Prompt:
Since it's usually just the two of us, my daughter and I are really comfortable at home when iy comes to what we wear or rather what we don't wear. All this was fine because, again, it was just the two of us. When my boyfriend comes around to spend the night or the weekend, we'd dress more 'appropriately' for the duration of his stay and then go back to our normal when he's gone.

With everything that's been happening, I wanted my boyfriend to stay with us because we don't know when it will end. Before inviting him over, I asked my daughter how she felt about that and clarified that this would be indefinite. She said she was cool with it and I invited him. The first week went well and she wore other comfort clothes. Then things completely changed within a day.

The first incident, my boyfriend and I were in the kitchen making breakfast and she came in wearing just underwear and a towel on her head (just came out of the shower). Breasts completely bare and she didn't even care to try cover them up. Instead she just walked in, greeted us casually, grabbed herself a glass of water then left. My boyfriend didn't say a word and I could tell he wasn't entirely comfortable with this so I tried talking to my daughter about but her response was that she wasn't naked.

Now she's been wearing short shorts around the house with just a bra (sometimes) etc. My boyfriend says it doesn't matter anymore because he's used to it now but I don't want him to be used to seeing my daughter like that. It's inappropriate. So I confronted her about this and told her to dress better in his presence but she bit me off about how I should be happy she's that comfortable around him and with her body. We're now constantly arguing over this and I'm wondering if I'm TA ######

Response:
 NTA, I think. This is a bit weird. You're right to ask her not to walk around your boyfriend topless as it's your house and you've established what is OK and what isn't - you agreed before he moved in.

I can't help wondering what your daughter's motive is. Maybe just stuck in her ways? At 19, it's possible/plausible that she might be getting a bit of a thrill from it - an older man seeing her like that, or is that too weird? I'm no psychologist so I may be totally barking up the wrong tree. ######


Prompt:
I have both BRCA alleles (was tested by a genetic counsellor several years ago) meaning I will most likely die of breast or ovarian cancer by age 60. I have dealt with many surgeries as well as radio therapy throughout my life relating to this; I am currently dealing with cervical dysplasia (pre-cancerous growths in 2/3 of my cervix.)

My best friend recently started dating a man who lied about having testicular cancer. Shortly after saying this and meeting me, as I offered to take him to a support group session, he admitted to lying about having cancer and only wanted the attention. He laughed it off as if it were a joke and never apologized. I never saw him again. The fact she is with someone like this makes me sick.

So today I called her not knowing she was with him, and when she picked up and I saw  were together, something came over me and I asked “hey ____, why are you so sick in the head that you lied about having cancer? I want you to know you are the absolute scum of the earth and there’s a special spot waiting in hell for you” then hung up.

So.... am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, I think you kick ass. ######


Prompt:
So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently.

She always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me.

I tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I "have to do it", because it's "part of a routine". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me.

Am I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ######

Response:
 NTA, I think she’s just lazy as hell. If you stop helping her with minor things like that, eventually she’ll have to do them herself and she’ll eventually get used to it.

Don’t put up with that shit. I have a brother with a similar age difference and he’s stopped bothering me after not doing any shit for him like that ######


Prompt: My goal is to be debt free as soon as possible so I can save for retirement. I want to pay down debt. I’m 40f and my wife who is also 40 wants to send her kids/my step kids to pretty expensive summer camps. We get absolutely no help from the kids father. I do pay for some stuff for the kids but I really don’t feel like I’m obligated to bend over backwards spending money on them. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, I think it's good that you want to be debt-free. Also with covid-19 I really don't think anyone should be going to summer camp ######


Prompt:
My (32m) sister (45f) sister has always been there for me. Because we have such an age difference, she has been my second mother. Our mother is still alive but she dumped my onto my sister to take care of me. With her love and support, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot. We are super close and I consider her my best friend. I have always sent her a mother days gift
And flowers because I always want to remind her how much she means to me and, I am grateful for all of her sacrifices. She didn’t have to raise me but she did and I love her very much. My wife thinks it’s super weird and and gross. She says that I shouldn’t be equating my sister to my mother and that I have mommy issues because of this. She says that my sister should stay my sister and, because she has her own kids, I shouldn’t be giving her anything. I explained that she didn’t grow up as I did ( she and her siblings are close but not as close as my sister and I). I also told her that it’s none of her business if I send my sister a Mother’s Day gift because it’s my gesture. She got upset and is not talking to me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, I think it is lovely. Your sister did so much for you going up and you show her you are gratefull. Simply lovely. ######


Prompt:
Hello Reddit!

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TL;DR in the title I guess as it is an age old question.

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My gf and I went out for dinner with a couple of her friends, and their SO's. Right before dinner we had a drink with one of the couples and "going Dutch" happened to come up in the conversation and was agreed upon to be a good method to always split the bill. (And they have done this in the past as well)

As we sat down for dinner we ordered modestly, no big ass steaks and no expensive bottles of wine, but the other two couples went more to the "treat yo'self" way of ordering. This led to quite a blown up bill that was not balanced between the couples.

One of the SO's of the other couples picked up the tab and told the rest it would be sorted out via a payment request through whatsapp afterwards. Fine by us, that's just about a cultural tradition here.

We got the request and it was probably 50% higher than it should've been for us, so we did some calculating and asked "what gives". Turns out they decided to split the bill evenly after all, and left the original bill in the restaurant so no piece of paper to properly determine who had what.

Here's the, wel not really, million dollar question. AITA for going against this way of deciding who pays what and put my foot down to a guestimate of what we had?

Their counter-argument was that it was awkward to have to send the rest another request to pay more and that we should not make a big deal out of this. ######

Response: NTA, I suspect “splitting the bill equally” is often a cover for people who want to order pricier options ######


Prompt:
Backstory: I passed my driving test in April last year and ever since then have been parking my car in the allocated parking space outside the house. (The house does not have a driveway).

Up until the last month or so, I have had no problems with parking my car here. Since the lockdown my neighbours parents have been visiting virtually everyday, this is not my problem. My problem is that they insist on parking in my space if I’m not home when they arrive. My neighbours have a car, meaning their parents cannot park in their space... there is, however, visitors parking opposite our houses.

So the way I may have been TA is because I got home around 9pm after a long hard day and couldn’t park my car because, you guessed it, the neighbours parents were in my space. Not knowing what else to do, and being fed up because this is happening virtually every day now, I parked directly behind their car blocking their exit, but other neighbours could still get out. I feel the need to note that had they come and ask, I had every intention of moving my car, I just wanted to show them how annoying it is seeing as asking them politely clearly hasn’t worked. Anyways, fastforward a few hours and I was exhausted (the neighbours parents still hadn’t left but I wanted to go to bed) so I moved my car on to the visitors parking and as I was walking back to the house I heard a voice say “finally, I can go home now she’s moved the car”.

So, AITA for wanting them to knock on my door and ask me to move my car to show them it’s annoying not being able to park/ pull away easily?

Edit: can I please just point out that 1) they are designated spaces in each houses tenancy agreements and 2) the tenancy agreement also states that our visitors must park in the visitors parking spaces. ######

Response: NTA, I saw in a comment that you have talked to them to no avail, so moving on into petty revenge territory is very much earned. If they keep it up maybe try finding a traffic cone and sticking it in your spot, maybe with the unit number on it? Not that I'm advocating pissing these assholes off further (except I totally am, please continue fucking with them). ######


Prompt:
It was around 1 PM in the afternoon. Wife accidentally called her male college friend when trying to hook her phone up to the charger. We started discussing the prospect of having an afternoon quickie, then I went to wash up quickly before coming back.

Twenty minutes later we finished and found that her friend had hung up the phone right when we were done. He was listening the entire time even during our discussion.

I called him and yelled at him for claiming to be such a devout and religious man then violating our privacy when the call clearly was an accident.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, I really don't understand how he thought he could get away with that. Isn't it just common decency to hang up a mistaken call? Plus he waited after you discussed it knowing it would happen? What a pervert. Definitely not the asshole here. ######


Prompt:
I was born in a developing country. My parents immigrated when I was young. We were dirt poor when we moved. And I used to have nightmares about my childhood there, because we were constantly living in fear of violence. My parents made it big in our adopted country, moved back to Asia, and bought a nice home in a gated community. They now consider themselves patriots, and are constantly singing praises of the country they fled from.

I on the other hand, worked very hard to ensure I never have to move back. I became financially independent from my parents, and remigrated to Europe.

I have been pretty outspoken about my experiences, and regularly criticize my birth country for basically robbing me of my childhood. My parents don’t see it that way. They want me to move back because they feel I “belong” there. And we’ve had many arguments over this. They worry about my social media postings, because it may hurt their businesses, or I may end up in jail next time I visit.

Truth is, I still don’t feel safe whenever I visit them. The police there is still very corrupt. Healthcare standard is very low. And hate crime is still rampant. So one time when my parents tried to silence me, saying “don’t you worry you may be banned from out country if we keep posting stuff like this?”

And I just blurted out, “it’s not my country anymore; and TBH I’d rather you come to visit me in the future because I REALLY don’t want to go there.”

My mother started crying and hung up on me. I got a msg from my dad demanding that I apologize, and visit them the next chance I get.

I should also mention that they constantly worry that if I don’t go back, their estate will be taken by the government. But I honestly don’t care about that.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA, I mean, your birth  country is really bad if you can get banned for fb posts ######


Prompt:
My best friend (let's call her Apple) is black, and I am white. In the area we live, we both are considered a minority of the population so theres not many people around for her to learn from to do her hair. Apple is in a smaller minority than I am, so I want to try and help her out a bit by helping her learn to do her hair because her mother doesn't know how to do it either.

Now, I have another black friend (we'll call her Blue), I asked her about it because she always shows up with cute hairstyles and knows her way around hair. I asked her if she could teach me to do hair like that and Blue called me racially insensitive.

AITA for wanting to learn how to do Apple's hair? ######

Response: NTA, i have no clue how to do my natural hair, since my mum is white. I would kill to have a friend help me !! ######


Prompt:
We have a discord server with about 20 people. It's a collection of people we found from games or friends of friends. In the general chat we usually just chill and have light hearted conversations with each other. It's just a place to relax and talk.

Anyways along with the story, I'm 17(M) and there's this person named C(17f) I've never really got along with her due to her personality being rather gloomy and she kind of tries to make her depression (her claims) as a personality. The general male to female ratio is about 3:1. Whenever we are having any form of conversation she deters whatever we were talking about to change it to herself. For instance, I may say "Ark is becoming really fun to play". To which she replies "Well at least you're happy I've been depressed all week". Right after we'd spend the next 5minutes of people consoling her. This has happened so many times to count about 8 times a day roughly.

Well yesterday, like usual we would be making conversation and with another female let's call H we're talking about invading enemy team and planning how we're going to attack and what we're taking. C then starts saying "This is why all men suck always trying to take from people". I reply stating how it's a game and it's just what you do and the conversation ended. Later on I say Happy Father's day in the announcement and guess what she says "Must be nice to have a father mine beats me" Occurence 2. Now on the final straw, we  were talking about our days, wondering what we should play next and she states "I've been crying all day and vomiting from it". I got really annoyed and stated "Okay C please stop making every conversation so negative, you're literally being an attention whore". Then literally everyone called me insensitive and a pos.

And now I feel like an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, I hate those kinds of people. I would've kicked her away if she did that repeatedly ######


Prompt:
Pretty simple story.

So, we ordered from Dominos for lunch. She said she just wanted those breadstick and wings. I confirmed if that was all she wanted a couple times.

When the pizza came, she asked for a slice. I refused. She already ate probably around 12 wings, and 2 bread sticks. She also specifically said that she didn’t want pizza. She can’t have her cake and eat it too, or I guess eat her cake and have it too!

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, I had to set these boundaries with my fiancé very early on in our relationship. I made it very clear that if he choose not to order anything when I placed food orders he was not getting any of mine until I was done, and even at that I sometimes marked them as leftovers for the next days lunch.
Biggest fight we ever had was when I told him I did not want him picking food off my plate , it was on my plate for a reason, and when I got up to get a drink I turned around to see him feeding the dog my food, was not a good night
She needs to understand that if she had wanted some pizza then she should have made it know when you were ordering , and to not automatically feel like you should give up your food to her when she wants some. ######


Prompt:
My son and his girlfriend have been dating for over a year now, and things seem to be going well. She’s a lovely girl, from a stable family, and I really think she likes our family.

I’ve now got to the stage where I’m letting her stay around (albeit I ask her to sleep in the guest bedroom, because I’m not quite ready for grandchildren yet! 😇) this has worked out okay (although I have caught her in my son’s room a couple of times.

The only thing that’s making me uncomfortable is that she seems to wear barely anything to bed when staying over and, when using the family bathroom in the night, she’ll walk around in her underwear and a bralet without minding if I, my son or my daughter sees her.

I’m not a prude (I actually sleep naked and my kids all sleep in underwear), but AITA for expecting her to at least wear pajamas when she visits, given their age? ######

Response: NTA, I get you. You just seem like you want to set boundaries. You wouldn’t want your son walking around in his boxer shorts at her parents house, that’d be inappropriate. This is the same thing. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé proposed to me 3 days ago. We dated for 6 years previously.

To give you some insight as to why I’m upset, it’s because he’s RICH. Like owns a Rolls Royce and a mansion rich. Gucci belts and Chanel bags type rich. I didn’t know this when we initially started dating, he revealed it about 9 months into our relationship.

The ring is beautiful and I know that the ring says little about the quality of a marriage, But when he told me he got it from Etsy (I think) for only $140 after I had been gushing about it to everybody that would listen, I was really, really hurt.

He spent more on his dogs cage than my ring.

I feel like he doesn’t care about me, but when I let him know, he started accusing me of being a gold digger. His family is accusing me of being a gold digger.

I’m just really jarred because he previously had no qualms with spending money with me and I never took that for granted

I know I’m not entitled to his money and I was never with him for his money, but considering the extent to his wealth I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in my expectations. Am I? ######

Response:
 NTA, I feel like this is a sort of test.
Of course his mom and sister are on his side. They would lose $12,000 if they weren't.

I think you should really think about if you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like a gold digger. Even if you aren't one, once you start asking for anything at all it will be seen as you gold digging.

You can pay your rent and all your bills. You don't need him making you feel like a burden.

This isn't about a $100 ring, but he doesn't want to listen to why you are hurt by the ring.  Worse yet, he makes you feel bad when you try to communicate with him.

Like you said, you would have been fine with a $1000 ring and to me it seems like you want to at least be seen as more special than his dog. Right, now you feel like less than a dog because he can spend $800 on a dog's cage but not on your engagement ring.

When you tried to explain that to him he made you look like a gold digger. You want to be respected and seen like an equal.

The fact that the gem fell off proves that he didn't look for something long-lasting. He got something cheap and it made you feel cheap.

I would advise that you try again to talk to him. If he won't hear you try writing a letter to voice your concerns. Don't only talk about the ring but about your future if you two get married.

Would you need to sign a prenup? Would you combine incomes? Would you have separate incomes and pay 50/50 of everything? What happens if you have kids? Would you be expected to stay home with them? Would you still have to work in order to pay your share of the bills? Would that mean getting a nanny so you can work for your bills?

These are all things you have to think about before continuing this relationship. If you don't like the answers it's ok to walk away.

Just because you have been with him 6 years doesn't mean you have to marry him. Honestly, living alone and at peace with yourself would be a lot better than having to defend yourself everyday. You'll always be seen as a gold digger to him and to his family.

The fact that he still calls you a gold digger after all these years shows that he won't change.

If you even ask him for $20 for gas, you'll be seen as a gold digger. Is that something you want to live with for the rest of your life? ######


Prompt:
So back story.

My parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.

Never paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.

Recently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.

I've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.

My relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates

(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)

Am i wrong for feeling like this ? ######

Response: NTA, I don’t even know why you’d contribute to a tombstone, I sure as hell wouldn’t have, and sitting shiva for a guy who abandoned you and spent his life imposing obligations and harm on you is... just no. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway.

The story goes like this: I come back home from work and I hear arguing coming from my 16yr son's room. I come inside and I find him and my fiancee (we've been together 2,5 years, my wife left us 4 years ago) yelling at each other. I ask what happens and she says she grounded him but he refuses to accept it. I ask him what did he do and he says "I cursed a bunch of times while playing games with friend". I look at her and sort of ask "that's it?" and she goes "yeah". So I tell him he's not grounded and get out of the room to prepare myself something to eat.

After a while my fiancee joins me and asks what the hell. I tell her the boy is 16 and there is nothing wrong with him yelling "f\*ck" once in a while. She says that "this isn't about that" and explains that she gave him a punishment and that I undermined her authority over him. I told her I didn't think him cussing was a big deal and she says "well, I did".

And here comes the asshole part. I go: "Well, yeah, okay, but you're not his parent."

She sort of just started at me blankly while I took a bite of my sandwich, so I doubled it down by saying:

"Look, I love you and my son likes you, but I'm his father and you're not his mother. You get no say in what he can and cannot do. Next time you want to punish him for something you have to go through me first, alright?"

She looked really hurt by this and is currently angry at me but I don't feel like I did anything wrong. ######

Response: NTA, I don't understand the people calling you TA, it's weird and awkward for someone that is not a teenager's parent to be telling them what to do? If she had such a problem with what he did, she should have come to you FIRST, as you've been his parent for 16 years, and she's just coming in now. It's bizarre for her to just feel like she should get parent authority without even having talked to you about it. Like, really weird and domineering. Even if your son was ultra disrespectful to her at some point during the interaction, she STILL needed to come to you first. I remember my step father when I was 16 thinking he could just manhandle me and my sisters if we misbehaved. Non-parents suddenly feeling like they have parent authority just because they live in your house is a huge red flag,tbh. ######


Prompt:
So since September 2019 I have payed for feeding, bedding, the stable box and done all the daily work an care that comes with having a horse. The owner is a sweet girl in her 20s and her parents was paying for the horse up until then.

In September she fell, the hores were injured and she got scared, her parents then approached me about the horse and asked if I were interested to treat it as my own, if I were paying everything except medical bills. Around 600 usd a month.
I did and I have, I had to nurse this animal because he had a huge gash in his leg. Then I had to slowly get him back into shape before I could ride due to it's a older horse.

So by January I could start to actually ride. I have been taking progress photos and videos and sendt the owner since I have experience in doing this from before.

So now after not seeing the horse or answering my progress updates since mid September 2019, she sends me a message saying she wants to take the horse for a summer vacation 2 hours away, I work fulltime and don't have the time or energy to go there every other day to care for the horse. (she was suggesting we had every other day) I told her that if I were expected to half care for it and paying, I would prefer the horse to stay where he is or I would consider to stop having responsibility for it. She got a bit offended that i argued with her since she is the owner and all that.

Her parents agree with me but they also sympathise with their daughters wishes, but they don't want to pay.

So I'm sitting here kind of bummed out because I have grown to care for this animal, but I also feel I should have some say in this....am I the asshole here?

Tl;dr: I care and pay for injured horse after owner falls, doesn't hear from her in 7 months and now she wants to move the horse 2 hours away for all of summer, while I still an expected to pay for feeding and come care for it every other day. ######

Response: NTA, I don't know much about horses but sounds like you own that horse now?  Is it normal for people who don't own the animals to pay the majority of the upkeep I'm sorry if I misunderstood anything but it sounds like the family have used you to pay for a horse they only kind of give a shit about when they should of been paying for everything to begin with? ######


Prompt:
So this past week my 8 year old daughter has been begging me to shave her head. This just started after her 17 year old cousin did it. I've always considered myself a supportive mom and let my kids do whatever they want (within reason of course)

She had extremely long, blonde, gorgeous hair just like I do. She was fully aware that I was going to support her decision, school was cancelled for the rest of the year and she won't go back to school until August (possibly September) so her hair will have time to grow out.

So last night, I got out my husband's clippers and shaved her head for her. She smiled the whole time and loved the end result.

The next day, I took a photo to send to my mom and only my mom. My mom decided to forward it to a bunch of other family members, who got back to me. 90% of them agree that I'm the asshole for not saying no to her and setting limits for her, and also told me that I'm setting her up for bullying.

Here's the thing - it's literally her hair will grow back. She knows. I asked her if she regretted it and she is extremely happy that she did it. As for bullying, she knows how to stand up for herself and that hair doesn't define her beauty.

I personally don't think I'm TA but I want to know everyone else's views on this. ######

Response: NTA, I do think it's important to help your kids understand what they're doing and what the consequences of their actions can be (so they avoid acting impulsively), but I think you did just that. On the bright side, she's saving money that would've gone to the shampoo and conditioner bill lol ######


Prompt:
I am a Muslim man married to a Christian lady, she is half Arab so knows islam well and in my country marriage between Muslim men and non Muslim women is pretty common.

She is my favourite person in the world and I love her so much. I am happy to share my dates with her that are specifically from my country (not super hard to get but expensive) but in my faith it’s better for me to use 1 date every evening to break my fast for this month.

She does NEVER EVER eat the dates apart from these ones I order each year because they are amazing. They are from a charity so don’t do big batches.

Now I don’t have too many left and I requested my wife saves enough that I can break my fast every evening (so I need about 20 dates let’s say) she said she wants to make a dessert that will use most of my dates.

I said no, that’s not fair. She said just order more. But the problem is with shipping and held up items I’m not sure not long that will take. It might be until Ramadan is over.

She is annoyed with me and keeps pointing out Islamically it would be better to give her the dates, in the sense that I would be rewarded. I guess she’s right. But I do still enjoy them. She thinks I’m being miserly. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, I can’t imagine where she’s coming from. Can’t she just go buy her own dates that aren’t special to you? Practicing your faith is something a spouse should support, and if breaking your fast with a date helps you connect with your faith, then she should respect that and leave them for you.

In the future, I suggest buying several of these small artisanal batches to avoid problems in the future.

Luckily, my spouse and I don’t usually enjoy the same foods and have allergies that limit our diets. Still, when there’s stuff we both like, the one who likes it least leaves it for the one who likes it more. It’s these little things we do that show us how much we love, respect, and just “get” each other. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and haven't had many speedbumps.

So this morning we woke up super early and just chilled out on the balcony. She said she was thinking about getting a boob job because she feels insecure or whatever with her current breasts. Now I know she does have a poblem with their size and has a bit of bad experience with other guys over their size but they're honestly fine and she's over stressing them. We once even settled it by creating a throwaway and posted pictures for feedback and they were literally all positive yet she still thinks they're too small.

So obviously I was like do what you want but I think you're great regardless and she then dropped that she would like me to pay for it for her. I told her as much as I love her I'm not going to pay to fix something that's not broken. I didn't say this but this is like her coming to me with her car and saying that she always thought it looks weird, is broken and needs help getting it fixed even though I can clearly with a bunch of other people that it's fine. Why waste money fixing something that's broken. I made it clear that I'm not opposed to the idea of her getting a boob job but I can't be the one to pay for it. She got upset and called me an asshole. Was I one? ######

Response: NTA, I can't possibly imagine her thought process on this. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend and I was playing a game and we were answers questions and that question came out and the game is about being 100% honest and we both had been up to that point and when that question came up and she went then it was my turn  I said “ how much you say Um mind sentence” mood shattered in seconds the laughs stop immediately .  I apologize and tried to say that won by default you’re not a annoying person and it was the only thing I could think of she tried to argue but kept saying um and getting embarrassed which made the whole thing worse and she went to bed.  AITA ? ######

Response: NTA, i always say don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. this is just an unfortunate situation, i can understand her feeling bad but there isn't really anything to do. if you can't be honest with your partner or comfortable enough to share what you think without hurting the other, then there needs to be a lot of work in the relationship ######


Prompt:
Long story a short:
My boyfriend doesn’t like showering that much.
He takes care of his appearance, shaves and wears clean clothes, so overall he looks very respectable.
However, despite sweating quite heavily at night and doing a lot of physical work during the day, he won’t shower more than twice a week.
I know I have quite a sensitive nose but he does really smell bad a lot and I don’t like sleeping next to him when I can literally smell him from the other side of the bed.

I tried to talk to him about it and have nicely asked him to consider showering more often, not necessarily every day but at least every two days, but he just won’t listen.
When I ask him if he could please shower before bed he will offen answer “but I just showered the other day” by which it is likely he meant four days ago.
The other day, after months of having this conversation I had enough and told him that he stinks and that if he won’t wash himself he can go sleep on the sofa.
Of course that hurt his feelings and he seemed very upset.
I know it was insensitive but it made me so angry that he couldn’t respect this one request.
It’s also quite a turn off when it comes to being physical.

He is such a lovely person and I love him so much but this lack in hygiene actually concerns me.
I find him attractive but I can’t get over the fact that he doesn’t think it’s necessary to shower.
I don’t want to be a dick about it but isn’t it normal to shower more often than twice a week?
Should I have not brought the subject up?
Am I being an asshole? ######

Response: NTA, hygiene is such a basic thing, whether you're in a relationship or not. You're not asking for much. And if he doesn't wash his crotch, it could create problems for your crotch and mess with your ph balance. (assuming you're female) ######


Prompt: Well for starters, my stepdaughter is seven. I've been in her life since she was 3 and I love her like my own. Because of covid she has been spending a week at her father's and a week here when she normally spends just weekends at her father's. I look forward to her coming home. Well lately my wife has been yelling at my daughter for small things. And by yelling I mean actually yelling. Like yesterday my daughter had eaten some gummy bears and immediately after went to use the bathroom. My wife instantly yells at her for not picking up the wrapper. Yesterday as well she got yelling at for not picking up her toys immediately after she was done playing with them. This has been going on for awhile just Minor problems she gets yelled at for and I have brought it up saying she's just a kid and isn't being bad. I can see it on her face how upset and confused she is not knowing she's doing anything wrong and in my opinion she's not. Well yesterday was her first day home in a week and for her to get yelled at like that bothered me. So I said something to Cassandra and now she's pissed off at me saying I'm calling her a bad mother. I stated I am not but she doesn't need to be screamed at all the time. She still is upset and mad at me, but hasn't yelled at her since. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA, however, I hate to say it, but you will be an A if you don’t put a stop to this.

I was one of these kids, although more in my teens than single-digits as far as I remember. My mother would scream and yell at me all the time over every little thing. I didn’t read her mind and do something she never told me to do? Yelling. I didn’t let out her untrained dogs because I knew they’d come right back inside and shit on the floor? Yelling. I had a “look on my face”? Yelling. I was any emotion other than happy? Pestering, prodding, and then yelling.

She blew everything out of proportion and took her anger out on me. I was both her emotional lightning rod and her emotional support animal—my job was to absorb her anger when she was pissy and give her validation and attention when she was in the mood to whine and cry and feel bad.

This has taught me several things that I am only recently beginning to unlearn, and **these are the same lessons your stepdaughter will likely learn if you don’t put a stop to this awful treatment:**

* I am responsible for other people’s emotions.

* If other people are angry, I am the cause.

* It is my job to make other people feel better.

* I deserve to be yelled and screamed at because I clearly can’t do anything right.

* Because I clearly can’t do anything right, I am a failure and thus I am bad.

Among others. But I can promise you, something as “simple” as being yelled at all the time can and will cause a host of issues later on that can easily take years to even begin dealing with.

Please don’t let your wife do this. Please don’t let your stepdaughter grow up wondering why her mom hates her and why she can’t ever seem to be good enough for her mom. Please put a stop to this and preserve her self-esteem or your wife will crush it before it even has a chance to grow.

And don’t be afraid to stand up for your stepdaughter in front of your daughter herself when this happens. Because my dad always sympathized with me in private, but he never did a damn thing to defend me when my mom threw one of her tantrums at me. Needless to say between that and my own separate issues with him my relationship with him was never that great. Your stepdaughter will notice if you stand by, and eventually she’ll wonder why dad doesn’t care that mom is so mean to her, and she’ll really be screwed. She’ll feel like she has no one she can turn to and her only choice is just to take the abuse and then go slink into a corner to cry and feel bad about herself and deal with it alone.

Don’t let her suffer like this. Please. From experience I can tell you it fucking sucks. ######


Prompt:
Backstory: So I have 4 siblings in total 3 brothers (ages of 19, 17 and 16) and 1 sister who is 12 and I am 14.  Me and my sister share a room, and our brothers can eat enough for a small village.  Like literally nothing lasts more than a day in my house and my parents refuse to buy anything until the week is up so there is never any snacks in the house.

Me and my sister have started stock piling snacks in our room for us to share away from our brothers cause they would just eat it all.  We keep it all in a little safe in our room, it is one of those electronic ones so it takes a code.  We both came up with just 2 digits of the code and we don't tell each other so we don't hog more food for ourselves and its always fair when we get food.

We were running low and I spent about 25 bucks filing it up, while she does put her own money in too I have way more cause I'm older and can actually leave the house tot he store by myself without anyone tagging along.  I have noticed that the cabinet can barely stay full for more than 2 weeks and I am starting to lose a lot of money.

She recently asked me if she could have something out of there close to dinner time and I told her no and to wait till after dinner if she was still hunger (dinner was about in 2 or 3 hours).  She got upset and told me to just do her a favor and I refused.  I said if she really wants something ill go to the store with her and she can buy something herself.  She wasn't happy and said I'm being unreasonable.

She was all pissy for the rest of the day and didn't speak to me for almost the whole day but got over it when we were going to bed.  AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, honestly, it's very generous of you to even give her that much of snacks before. It's your money you used, your snacks.

You even offered to take her to a shop so she can get her own. Still, your sister just wants your snacks. ######


Prompt:
Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11.  I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister  asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke

My PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk

My Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor

A Dell desktop and 2 monitors

Mac computer by downloading viruses

A keyboard

My copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it

My old phone

A Samsung tablet

Xbox one disc drive (temporarily broken)

Xbox one disc (about 5)

And a few other things.

With her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them.

Luckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived.

So guys and gals, AITA? ######

Response: NTA, holy shit that's a long line of destruction. Your mom is an enabling idiot. ######


Prompt:
I am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all.
I am 21 y/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”.

To her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line.
She never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted.

I’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her.

Today I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, holy fuck. The "I say what I want, I'm sooo edgy" thing is idiotic in general, but when you're prodding someone about a serious and traumatic condition with a high rate of re-occurrence you can fuck right off. That's not rude; it's extraordinarily malicious.

Edit: I missed the line about the aunt not knowing about your condition. Makes her less of TA, but doesn't mean she is not TA. There are certain things you don't pick at people for, for precisely this reason. ######


Prompt:
My husband is from the DR. He and I met when I traveled abroad as a nurse in my twenties. We’re still married, he’s a fantastic man.

Our 15 year old daughter, the oldest of our kids, has recently decided that she doesn’t have to respect me based on my race. We’ve raised her to be conscious of the racial issues in the US, and have made it clear that people of color face dangers that white people don’t face. In her teenage years she has decided to use this against me.

First of all, she has decided that she’s black.
My husband has always referred to himself as “brown” or “latinx” and the N word is not a word we use in the house. Our daughter has decided to “reclaim” that slur as a “black woman” and she uses it in every casual sentence.

Whenever I ask her to do something simple (load the dishwasher, clean clothes off her floor) she says “yes massah! Right away massah!” In a southern accent as if I’m behaving like a slave owner.

My husband is at a loss and so am I. Over the dinner table she kept using the N word and I firmly asked her to stop. She said “that’s rich coming from my WHITE mother.” I said “your WHITE mother is about to beat your BROWN ASS if you don’t go to your bedroom and stay there for the next twelve hours.”

She stomped up there but kept trying to come out throughout the night claiming she was starving (she hadn’t finished her dinner). Each time my husband and I gave her water and marched her right back to her room.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, holy fuck that child needs help. Idk how the fuck she got “black woman” from “white mom and latino dad” but i highly suggest you put her in some fuckin counseling before she goes back to school and learns the hard way why she can’t talk like that. ######


Prompt:
This is very awkward and I’m not sure who to ask so I decided to post on here.

My boyfriend proposed last year around Christmas, and of course I immediately said yes and together we have been very excitedly planning our wedding. We were due for September this year but have obviously put everything on halt.

One of my friends, Abigail, is a singer. She has a very gospel-ly kinda voice but as awful as it sounds all I think when she sings is ‘this is warbly’ and I have to fight to keep a straight face. She’s not awful, but it’s really not my cup of tea.

Obviously I would never say that to her but I do encourage her passion because one day she wants to turn her hobby into a career. I always respond in the group chat with constructive feedback when she sends us voice clips asking for it and if it’s very bad I’ll just stay quiet and not say anything at all.

Now recently in January a little known music producer (I think) retweeted a video of her singing and she has taken this as her sign that she is about to break it big.

She asked why I hadn’t asked her to sing in our wedding, and I answered honestly that I want her there in a friend capacity, not there to work. She then said she insisted on ‘gifting’ us the song to our first dance.

I really, *really* don’t want her to do this so I told her I would need to square it with my fiancé as we are making all decisions together. Thankfully he was on board with me and I texted her ASAP to say that fiancé wasn’t keen on the idea because he *really* wants x band to play instead.

She became upset in our chat group and quite a few of my friends are texting me telling me I should give her the platform and that I’m being a bad friend and an asshole, and that I’m being selfish. ######

Response: NTA, here it goes, my friend. The second anybody you know hears about your wedding, they’re going to start telling you what to do. But it’s YOUR wedding and if you don’t want your first dance to be sang by someone whose voice you don’t care for, you have every right to do something else. Put your foot down and let Abigail stay butthurt. Your wedding is about YOU, not her. ######


Prompt:
My 14 year old niece loves to sing. She isn’t going to be the next America idol or anything, but she isn’t under the illusion that she is, she just has a lot of fun performing for the family and making videos on YouTube.

I’ve always encouraged her, (by watching and commenting on the videos, asking her to sing for us when I’m over, etc.) because it was a chance for her to be create and outgoing and have fun.

Lately her parents have been hounding me to stop encouraging her. They say it’s not a good use of her time if she isn’t going to take it seriously and since she doesn’t have the capacity to become any kind of great performer, that she should really be focusing her time on other things.

That’s their prerogative at home how they want to do it, but I didn’t feel right suddenly stopping asking her to sing for us or stopping interacting with her videos.

Her parents are now royally pissed at me and my brother says I’m an asshole for ignoring such specific instructions. Am I the asshole? Or do I just have a difference of opinion? ######

Response: NTA, her parents suck. it’s amazing that you’re being so supportive of your niece, and im sure she really appreciates it. just because someone will never be famous for their talent/activity that they enjoy, doesn’t make it a waste of time. good on you OP, please continue to support her!!! ######


Prompt:
It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged...

I have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies.
I blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else.

I told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday.

I got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day.

Am I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######

Response: NTA, her birthday is on Sunday. She's totally overreacting to you wanting to do something on Friday when you've already planned so much for her birthday. You can't spend every second with each other, having your own hobbies is completely normal and healthy. ######


Prompt:
I want to start by saying my sister and I don't have the BEST relationship.

She didn't meet me until she was 18 because my mom had her has a teenager and put her up for adoption. Her adoptive family provided for her but even though her adoption was an open adoption they hate that she has a relationship with her birth family. They are an upper class family that offers to pay for anything she wants if she does exactly what they say, so she often does.

About 3 years ago my sister got engaged to a wonderful man, and she asked me to be a brides maid. I was only 23 at the time, a college student with no money. But I bought the dress, paid for my way for her shower and Bachelorette party, single handedly decorated her entire reception location.... and the day before the wedding her adoptive mom told my sister she didn't want her bio family at the wedding she was paying for. (I also had already booked off work and told my professors I'd be missing a week of school to be the primary care giver for her THREE children while she went on her honeymoon)

So. The day before her wedding, after putting out money I needed for groceries and supporting myself, she uninvited me from her wedding. I am her sister and she removed me with out hesitation or good reason from the most important day in her life. I still watched the kids of course because they were innocent in all her issues.

But now I'm engaged, and planning my wedding, and I don't want to invite her, I don't want to have someone at my wedding that reminds me how disposable I am if she's getting some cash in return. My fiance says I'm not the asshole, but my mother and brother do.

I don't really know what to do and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the asshole  or if she is. Help! ######

Response: NTA, her adoptive family are manipulating her, and she wronged you on a deep and personal level. Don't invite her to the wedding, it will cause you more pain. Your wedding should be a special occasion with the people that you love and the people that love you. Your wedding should be happy and fun, not remind you of when family turned you away for money. ######


Prompt:
One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?

Edit 1:
For those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.

Edit 2: Typo ######

Response: NTA, help them be themselves. Be that support system! ######


Prompt: This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######

Response: NTA, he's fishing for compliments it sounds like. I hate people like that, it gets really old real quick. ######


Prompt:
Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.

3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.

About 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.

They apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.

A few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.

My mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)

Before the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.

Fast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ######

Response: NTA, he's a liar and scammer, you're doing the best by trying to keep away from him. ######


Prompt:
So, I'll try to keep this short, but chances are, it wont be. I(F38 almost 39) recently started talking to someone I met through work. Hes 33 and recently out of a relationship.  We've only been facebook chatting because of the shutdown, plus he no longer works for the same employer as me. I wont go see him because I work at a place thats had cases, plus i live with an older relative who wouldnt fare very well if she were to get this.

So, I recently noticed he talks about sex, a lot. Pretty much from our first conversation. At first, it didnt really bother me, although I would change the subject if it went on too long. Yesterday, we were talking about drinking. I was telling him some of the issues I'd seen crop up in my family. Telling him that's why I dont drink. I had just finished sharing a very personal story, when he told me" I'd make you drink my cum"

I was pretty disgusted. I mean, im down for some naughty talk, dont get me wrong. But the story I had just told him definitely was not one that should have prompted him to say that. I responded with" I'm trying to have a serious conversation right now" Which thankfully, at the time, caused him to stop for the moment. Several minutes later, he was once again trying to steer the conversation that way, and i just wasnt having it. I told him to stop, and he called me a frigid bitch. Told me"well since you wont come over here and i cant come there what else can i do"

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA, he's a creep who says disgusting things unprompted and then calls you misogynistic names for telling him to stop. I don't understand why this guy didn't immediately go on your black list or how you could call him potential boyfriend material.

Seriously, I'm worried about you if this guy is in any way acceptable to you. That's not healthy. ######


Prompt:
So back story.

My parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.

Never paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.

Recently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.

I've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.

My relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates

(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)

Am i wrong for feeling like this ? ######

Response: NTA, he was never a father to you, in any possible way... let me guess... his side of the family wants you to mourn... right? ######


Prompt:
Well, today is mother's day at least in my country anyways.( I am sure I just reminded some of you) It's also my mother's birthday today. So its super special.

Because she's turning 50 I thought l would plan something. So from last month I have been texting my brother (23M) to make sure that he is available this weekend and to home so we could celebrate. ( he lives far away due to school) I started a month in advance because l knew that he must be nagged to do certain things.

I ordered the cake and paid for it with my own money. I even booked a restaurant reservation( but due to COVID that failed)

I bought Lillys for her( they are her favourite) and helped my little brother ( 7) to make a card for her.

Finally after a whole month of begging and nagging my brother agreed to stay over. He kept saying things like he is super busy and may not be able to make it.

So on the day( today) my little brother and l woke up super early to make her her favourite meal. We tried waking up my big brother but he wouldn't budge.

When my mother woke up she was so happy. The problem arose when during breakfast, my mother asked who planned all this. I was in the process of saying it was a group effort, even though my big brother did nothing but show up. My big brother cut me off and started taking credit for the whole thing. He even said he paid for the cake!

I said nothing then because my mother was super happy and the moment was about her. Later on however, when my brother and l were alone, l confronted him.

When l expressed how I didn't appreciate his stunt at breakfast,  he started saying the way l was being selfish because the moment was about our mother.

So AITA for getting mad or just petty?
I am (18F) for context? ######

Response: NTA, he was 100% being selfish and making it about himself. Next time I’d call him out on it, and if your mother is upset it’s his fault for lying. You were already being generous by saying it was a group effort when he wouldn’t get off his ass and do anything, for him to take credit is incredibly selfish and petty. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat.

Without hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time.

I told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions.

He tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and "taking it too seriously."

No, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for "overreacting"? ######

Response: NTA, he shouldn't have done something he knew you found particularly humiliating.  But I think it's worth figuring out if he's doing this because he's being deliberately obtuse about something you have clearly indicated is 'out of bounds' in terms of how far to escalate teasing/giving each other a hard time, or if it's because his feelings are getting hurt (being teased about having a wandering eye when you don't or about how much your spouse values a beloved pet could really bother some people) and rather than using his big boy words he's 'kidding around' in a passive aggressive way he knows bothers you.  Neither is acceptable reason to do something he had to know would upset you, but for your relationship long term its worth clarifying what the hell is going on with him. ######


Prompt:
i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother.

i absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’.

i do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######

Response: NTA, he should not making those comments BECAUSE he is the father and you're his child. He should not be making those comments to anyone who makes it clear to be uncomfortable with it. ######


Prompt:
So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling.

I’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts.

It’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading.

Not only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example

If I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day!

It’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because

A. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and
B. It may just actually be a coincidence

So to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me

I wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said

“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”

When he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating.

I told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA?

TLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######

Response: NTA, he should not for any reason be reading your diary. I don't say this lightly, but he maybe shouldn't be your bf anymore. He does not respect boundaries. ######


Prompt:
So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account.

We confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number.

Last week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, he said he's going to pay you? Great. Once you receive payment, give him access. ######


Prompt: Okay so I realize this sounds like the plot to a porno with a mom walking in on her son but I couldn't think of a better way to write this. Basically I went upstairs to my son's room to ask what he felt for supper, I knocked on the door a few times and called his name but got no answer. I assumed he was asleep so I opened the door to walk him up and there he was with his pants down and noise cancelling  headphones on. He yelled at me and told me that I should have known not to come into his room but personally I feel I did everything I could, I knocked several times, called his name and only opened the door when he wouldn't answer me. Should I have just left the door called and waited for him to eventually come out? ######

Response: NTA, he learned a valuable lesson about not wearing noise cancelling headphones for watching porn ######


Prompt:
Background info:
I have a full-time job, but I also do crochet work on the side for extra money. I take requests and ask for money up front so in case they back out or I can't get in contact with them, I didn't just waste time and material.

Back in December, my best friend asked me to make him a Sasuke doll from Naruto for a friend of his for her present. Since he's my best friend, I told him he could pay me later.

A couple of months went by and he never paid me. His excuse was "I haven't given it to her yet." I told him it didn't matter because I made the doll and wanted my payment.

A few weeks ago, I got a request to make both Naruto and Sasuke. I told my friend to give me back the doll since he clearly wasn't going to pay me and he wasn't going to give it to the other person.

After he gave it back, it was nowhere near in the condition I had given it to him. He left the doll by the window for who knows how long and it got sun bleached pretty badly. I spent roughly 6-9 hours making the doll (I've only been crocheting for about a year, so it still takes me a while). I was upset and told him off for not respecting my work or taking what I do seriously. I told him to never even ask for anything because after seeing what he does to my work, I don't want to put in the hours to see it ruined.

Did I overreact because I take my work too seriously? ######

Response: NTA, he didn't pay you, he has absolutely no right to be upset. You definitely shouldn't do work for him until he pays you. ######


Prompt:
I’ll do my best to keep this brief.

Earlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not.

After some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago.

Broke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong.

There’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, he didn't even apologize for his actions wtf. You can't just apologize for "being rude" and leaving without saying goodbye without apologizing for offending everyone and not being able to see the error of his ways? Also you aren't obligated to celebrate family, especially if/when they are being shitty towards you and your family. It seems like your dad hasn't even truly accepted your wife and kids as family so why bother celebrating him. Also x2 HELLOOOOo the impact that has on your children to be called said word????? Ik you didn't mention ages but no matter what age they are there's most definitely a heavy influence on them. ######


Prompt:
So ever since the protests started my brother (19) has been making racist comments to my family about it. I'm (21) a criminal justice major and have learned a lot about systemic racism so I've been trying to help my family understand what's happening and why. I warned my brother to never say any of the stuff that he says around us to anyone else, but he didn't listen.

Sure enough my brother was "exposed" on a girl's Instagram story with screenshots of him saying racist things in a chat with his friends. Since the girl that posted the screenshots was in my grade my family asked me to talk to her and get her to take it down since it may "ruin my brothers college acceptance." I told my family no and that he needs to be publicly ridiculed since nothing that I've said was going to get through to him.

Then the post spread and now practically everyone has seen the message and has been messaging me about it saying things like "wow I can't believe your brother is so racist" and "wow how can you let him say things like this." In response I posted something saying how I do not condone his actions and am deeply disappointed.

Now my brother says that I am "dead to him" and my family won't talk to me because I didn't back my brother and "betrayed the family." I've asked my brother to sit and talk with me about it but he's refusing to and saying that I've done too much damage and that he doesn't want to speak to me again.

My mom keeps telling me that I need to apologize to him in order to make the family "begin to heal" but I don't feel as though I'm in the wrong.

Should I apologize? Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: Nta, he can suffer the consequences to his own action and your family enabling him will ruin his college acceptance and his future. ######


Prompt:
Hi everybody. It’s me. Again.

I recently went to Walmart with my mom and younger siblings and my younger brother (9, autistic which is relevant because of what my mom said) was preparing for summer camp. My mom said he needed to pick a towel. He picked a pink one with pretty butterfly’s. I said,”good choice, bub.” And my mom immediately looked upset. She asked him,”don’t you want one that’s less girly?” He started crying. She was like,”fine, whatever. Get that one.” I pulled him aside and told him that it’s okay to like things that other people consider girly because objects aren’t gendered and he should just pick what he liked. My mother was fuming. He wanted to window shop in the toy aisle so we walked over there and while he was browsing, she told me that I was way out of line and he’s already autistic and she doesn’t want to give kids one more thing to pick on him for. Now I’m 19. I told her this isn’t the 90s. Kids don’t do shit like that and I was a kid a very short time ago so I should know but she berated me over and over for it and we got in another argument about it today.

TL;DR: AITA for telling my brother to like whatever he wants despite what my mom says?

So reddit, AITA here? She’s making me second guess myself. ######

Response: NTA, good job sticking up for someone who can't do it for themselves. The morals he learns now will carry on in his life and you never know what could be a pivotal moment. Thank you for your part ######


Prompt:
It's an open secret in my office that my boss, one of those raving fundamentalist types, puts things like ideological conformity first and foremost when doling out opportunities for advancement.

Yes, I know that's technically illegal, but we're in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas and half the time the police won't even respond to a burglary in progress, let alone petty shit like this. Plus I wouldn't put it past them to side with my boss, given how common people like her are around here.

I got the idea of maybe faking a religious persuasion along the lines of what my boss holds, purely for the sake of climbing her little list of who to favor?

It's kind of scummy, sure, but it's the only way to advance around here - trust me, I've tried looking for other work in my field, and there isn't any unless I move completely out of state - and it's not like she should be using this as a criteria anyways. ######

Response:
 NTA, go nuts.  If he's going to pay more based on religion, exploit that moron.

The problem is, you might get sick to your stomach trying to fake being a fundy.  I know I would. ######


Prompt:
My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, get better friends suited to your lifestyle ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I do not live together but we want to. He has told me that he wants dogs, specifically Husky's and German Shepherds. I am on board with this but I want them to be raised to my standards. He wants them to be like his grandparent's dogs (he lives with them) but I would want them to be kind of like my parent's dogs.

His grandparents' dogs jump, bark all the time, Beg, are not spayed, nails aren't cut (So they constantly cut his younger siblings), never get exercised, and they always have food in their bowl.

my dogs at home do not jump up unless invited up, nails are always cut, are fixed, Get fed at the same time every day (7:30 am and 7:30 pm. it helps keep them at a healthy weight), They beg but stop when told no, barely ever bark and when they do they stop when told to, and get plenty of exercise.

I also tell him our dogs will not be overweight as that means an unhealthy dog and can lead to health problems, especially since he wants bigger dogs.

He always says I'm crazy when I tell him this and he has even called me an asshole for it, telling me we should not be so strict with dogs since they act how they want to. So AITA for setting these rules or am I okay? ######

Response:
 NTA, German Shepherds and Huskies are very big and can be uncontrollable and chaotic if not well trained.

If he can’t handle that kind of discipline and think those standards you’ve laid out are too crazy, then maybe you need to rethink getting a dog, or atleast breeds that are so high maintenance.

Training and discipline is essential for dogs. I don’t know why he would think you’re the asshole for that. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday, i went to walk my dog and one of my neighbors, who i’m friendly enough with but definitely not friends with, was outside with her two small children. I’m not sure of their ages but I think they’re about 5 and 7. I asked her how everything was going for them. She said that it was fine but that her kids were going a bit stir crazy.

I offered to give them a little kiddie pool (the plastic kind you can buy for like $15 at Walmart) that I had in my shed. My husband and I bought it when my dog was a puppy but now he is too big to use it. I even said that I would clean it for her because i’m sure it’s a bit dusty from just being in the shed. She laughed and said no thanks and that she never wanted a pool in her yard because it is “trashy.” I was a little taken aback but i just basically said ok.

Her boy heard and was like “Anna (not my real name) has a pool? Can we get it, mom? Pleaseeee?” My neighbor then said that she wanted the pool. I told her no and that I would keep my trashy pool in my trashy yard. I was definitely annoyed at this point. The boy and girl then started to ask me for the pool and I said that if their mom wanted to get them a pool, she could do it herself. My neighbor gave me a dirty look and then i went back to my house.

I told my husband what happened and he was upset with me. He said that she shouldn’t have called it trashy but that he didn’t understand why i was punishing the kids for something the mom did and that the fact that I could tell a kid “no” for something I could easily do was “cold” of me. He’s now worried about how i’ll treat our future children! I think this is an absolutely insane overreaction. I just didn’t feel like doing anything for someone who called something I own trashy. In my opinion, it’s not a big deal at all so i’m really confused here. Aita? ######

Response: NTA, fuck that lady ######


Prompt:
My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.

Yesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 /10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10/10

He accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######

Response: NTA, friends keep it real with each other.  Sometimes this means a reality check. ######


Prompt:
I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know.

I've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried.

Once I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.

I kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her "I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.

My mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######

Response: NTA, former CTM here, those clearances are not anything to fuck around with, granted it sounds like what he did was terrible, typically anything in public record pike that they dont care about since it cant be used for things like blackmail, but it is still something you want to give your investigators a heads up about whrn you meet with them in boot camp and A school, knowing his crime makes it look a lot better than saying you dont. ######


Prompt:
My friend and her toddler came over to play in my yard. I was working in the garden planting some fairly specific heirloom tomatoes I special ordered from a local farm.

I gave my friend’s child and my own some gardening tools and told them they could dig in an empty bed. Meanwhile my friend and I were chatting as I worked.

A minute later I looked over and realized her child had somehow gotten ahold of these plants off a nearby table. He had mangled them to the point they were no longer plantable. I tried to hide my frustration.

She shrugged and said “Toddlers, always ruining stuff.” I get it, she’s not wrong, when my child was a toddler she wasn’t destructive, but that’s generally the exception.

When I said in exasperation, “oh man! Those were hard to come by tomatoes!” she said that next time I should move things out of reach and that she would pick up the drink tab next time we go out.

The plant cost about $15 but it’s more the rarity in finding it that bothers me, not the money.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, for me it doesn't even matter what kind of tomatoes they were. If my child destroy's something at someone else's house im going to instantly offer to replace it because it's common courtesy to do so. ######


Prompt:
During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys).  One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.

But then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.

So now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, finding someone of the same sex attractive does not make you gay. ######


Prompt:
English isn’t my first tongue so bear with me people

And yes there is a post in r/advice speaking about my problem

I (18 f) am a food photographer (very amateur one but working on it). My family uses me way too much for free gigs which i am trying to stop.

One day i was going to ask my mom something about ordering some gear and she just interpreted me and said “(my name) i am very proud of you that you volunteered to your aunt to do a photoshoot for her to be born son”

I didn’t volunteer but mom was sure her sister didn’t lie so i was kinda forced to do it as a really care for mom’s feelings.

Fast forward the day after he was bored i was called by my cousin asking when i will shoot the baby
I was half asleep and i told her i had an exam and an online lecture (true)
She told me they are expecting me to come and i was like ok whatever

Today i had some good sleep and went to their house at the afternoon to see the baby and attend a small religious celebration (not christian) and when i first arrived with my camera and a small soft box

My cousin snapped at me telling me i am not using that strong light on her bro (girl i know my business)
And i was like yeah sure
And then i was told by the family that they don’t want me doing the photoshoot as they already did it(i was actually happy when informed because babies aren’t my forte) but they were pissed telling me I didn’t keep my promise to them and so on so on

After the celebration i went home to study my other exam(pray for me) and got my equipments and left

Well they didn’t call me the AH but i knew they think about me like that and i am quite sure I wasn’t an AH but i want your opinion people ######

Response: Nta, family/relative are always like this. They think they are entitled  to everything. ######


Prompt: Yeah so my friend had exposure at work and she got tested, alright that’s the reality of life now. Fast forward 10 says later, still no test results. Well i find out a couple Tuesday’s ago that her results were actually positive- she found out on a Monday- and doesn’t  bother to tell me despite being around me and others. Her husband actually spilled the beans. I was around her during this time and my husband was leaving a couple days later to visit family, namely his Mother who is immune compromised due to chemo. I was a little upset and all I texted was “you do know you can still spread it and don’t you think you should have told me?” Her response “well I feel fine.” I did not respond further. I found out a few days later she tells a mutual friend how I “hurt her feelings.” I’m just floored at how selfish this seems and tbh it’s affecting my friendship with her because I feel her behavior is disturbing. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic but like most everyone, I have a job, a family and don’t want to get sick and infect others or miss work or God forbid face hospitalization. But now she’s pretty cold towards me. Did I handle this wrong? ######

Response: NTA, excuse my french but what a dickhead, I’d have deleted her from my life by now ######


Prompt:
My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??).

I however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable.

This is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant)

Anyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.”

So, am I being a snob/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######

Response: NTA, everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to nudity, gender or sexuality aside, what she's doing is rude because she knows it makes you uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
I might have overreacted, but here goes. I (25f) have a 30 year old sister, and she is very controlling and loves telling me what to do, as well as our two brothers. Bit of a control freak who involves herself in everyone's business. She's a bit obsessed with my hair, it's thick and hers is very thin, so you know what I mean there, wishes she had hair like mine. She's always touching it, playing with it, stuff like that. Whatever, doesn't bother me that much.

We're all still at home, I definitely cannot afford to get my own place for another while and she is looking for a house close to the family house and her work. There have been instances when I am in the bath washing myself, and she will come in to wash her hands or brush her teeth. I don't think she comes in with the deliberate intention of this, but she still does it and the last time I lost it. When she is standing there doing her stuff, she will watch me washing my hair. This isn't prolonged or anything, but she still does it. Standing at the sink doing whatever and watching me.

The last time this happened I lost it. Screamed at her to fuck off and that she's a creep and a pervert. She's always been the golden child, so I got told off by our mum to stop shouting and sister had the gall to tell me to stop shouting as well and to watch my language. I might have overreacted but I think it's unfair to just stand there watching your own sister, naked in the bath having a wash and commenting on how she washes her hair, not having any boundaries for someone else's privacy and dignity. I know that she didn't come in deliberately to watch but that's not the point. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, everyone deserves privacy in a bathroom and it is perverted to stand there watching someone shower naked without their express permission to do so ######