Prompt: So I know the title sounds really bad but hear me out.  My friends were talking about our sexuality and then we got to the topic of homophobic people.  They were all talking about how all of them are trash and I said that some people were led to believe that and if they are trying to stop I feel like they aren't  bad right? My friends got really upset at me and said that if I continue defending homophobic people they are going to kick me put of the group chat so I just left it by myself.  I mean some homophobic people are trying not to be and we can't just say that they are trash just because their parents taught them that.  Now I feel kinda bad about saying that. ######

Response:
 YTA -

The fact that some homophobes become not homophobic doesn't necessitate an impassioned defense of said hypothetical ex-homophobe just because someone said they don't like homophobes.

Your friend's comments were clear in-context and if you're often antagonizing everyone with nit-picky hand-wringing like this, I can understand why they'd want to kick you out of the group. ######


Prompt:
Throw away because my girlfriend is on Reddit and knows my account.

Yesterday, my girlfriend showed me a building she was building in Minecraft. I asked her if I can look around the place, and when she went to the bathroom, I found a lot of TNT in one of the chests and thought it would be funny to prank her by exploding the place.

When she came back and saw it, she got **extremely** upset, almost as upset as one would be if they got their real house burned down. She even cried, and she now won't talk to me.

I thought it was just a game and not worth getting that angry over. I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life. It was meant to be a prank, but she's turning it to big deal. ######

Response:
 YTA -  If your girlfriend was a painter, painted something beautiful and wanted to know if you liked it, and then you threw it on the ground and smeared feces all over it...are you the asshole or is she overreacting to a prank?

Activities with progression aren't "just a..." anything.  People spend time creating.  And you weren't a rival or a competitor in game, so there's no gameplay explanation either.

Now rebuild it. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try and keep this as short as possible. My girlfriend loves musicals. I hate them. I find them incredibly stupid and unnecessary. Anywhere we take turns having a movie night I constantly have to veto her musical stuff. She’s mad because she watches all of my stuff but I won’t watch her stuff (I just won’t watch her musicals.. but that’s like atleast 50% of what she wants to watch).

Anyway she tried to suggest a musical again tonight and I said “are you gonna fucking pick something else for once? Seriously?” And she got pissed and asked my why I hate musicals so much and feel the need to “shit on her passions”. And I just said well because they’re fucking stupid and serve no purpose. I don’t have any other reason. She got even more mad and just said fine and she left the room and told me to watch my own movie. I feel like she’s overreacting. I feel like you shouldn’t force people to watch your shit taste in movies. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA -  “are you gonna fucking pick something else for once? Seriously?”  - Disrespectful and mean.
Nothing to do with Musicals. ######


Prompt:
Me: 20/f

Stepsister: 23/f

Parents: 40s m/f

I have a younger brother (18/m) but he is staying with my mom and stepdad for reasons.

Corona virus basically ruined my college experience.  The school closed down when we were on spring break, so a lot of my stuff is still there.  My best friends and boyfriend live far away and I can only see them through zoom and Skype until it’s safe to travel again. My internship for the summer has been cancelled and it's nearly impossible to get another job.  We were planning a memorial day trip too and that's obviously been put on hold.

I also had to give up my freedom and move back in with my dad and step family, which has been a huge adjustment.  My dad is very religious and doesn't allow things like drinking, smoking, etc. I have to follow their religion (Evangelical Christian if it matters) while I'm here.

My stepsister (S) is learning disabled and has a seizure disorder.  She doesn't really leave the house too much on a normal basis except to go to church and occasionally do things with them. So she has her own set up and routines around the house.  In some ways this is better for her, because she can attend more social events virtually.

I was talking with my boyfriend over zoom about how depressed I've been.  Stepsister jumped in and said it's been "SOOOOOOOO hard" for her too.  I was honestly fed up at that point that my privacy was invaded AGAIN plus it felt like she was minimizing what I have gone through.  So I snapped at her, "what do you mean, it's hard for you?  Your life has barely changed, my life has been ruined." She of course ran and told my dad, who yelled at me and basically called me an AH.  I stomped up to my room and shut the door.

I feel bad, but I don't think I'm being an asshole.  But am I? ######

Response: YTA  Your life hasn't been ruined. People are dying and oh, boo hoo, you don't have all your way and the whole world isn't accommodating your needs and you think you're worse off than your sister with a SEIZURE disorder.  Quite the piece of work. ######


Prompt: My friend had been dating a girl for about 10 months and I could tell that he really loved her. Whenever we would hang out she would be there too and I didn't really have a problem with it because she was pretty cool. About 2 weeks ago he asked me if I wanted to chill at the skatepark. When I got there I noticed that she wasn't there so I asked where she was. He told me that before he called me they had got into a big fight but he didn't tell me what it was about. That night we went over to his cousins house to chill. He was really down the whole time and it's understandable why. Skip ahead about 2 days he told me that she had moved on but they were going camping with a group of friends. That night not only did she fuck one of his close friends she also hit on basically all the guys there in front of him. He found out about it and me and his cousins told him to just move on but he was too stuck on her. We told him that theres no point in forgiving her. Later that same day he told his cousin that he had taken a shower with her and they fucked. And we told him that she was no good and he should move on  before he gets hurt any more than he already has. We made it clear to him that we thought she was a slut and he got angry at us and said that he still loved her and that he wanted to try and fix things with her. I doubt this will get any attention but if it does please let me know what you think. We're trying to look out for him but he just doesn't wanna hear what we have to say. ######

Response:
 YTA  You're justified in not liking this girl, but it does you no good to call her names, & it will only alienate him from you. You can be honest & say that you think its an unhealthy relationship, but putting her down (& dismissing/belittling his feelings in the process) will only make him feel like he cant talk to you about her or any problems they might have. Try empathizing with him, but encourage him to set better boundaries with her.

EDIT: I also don't agree with the use of slut shaming, regardless of how you feel. The ppl she slept with apparently don't respect your friend anymore than she does, so are you calling them out in the same way? ######


Prompt:
Me (M23) and my girlfriend (F23) have been together for 2 years. Me, my gf, Bob (the gay friend), we were classmate back in highschool. I didn't date her back then and Bob didn't come out at the time. I'm not a close friend with Bob to know if he's gay or not, but my he's my gf's best friend after graduation, and she said he is.

So she has always wanted to climb Mount Fansipan in Sapa, Vietnam. Today she asked me if I wanted to join her and Bob to go on a 2 day 1 night trip in Sapa. I declined the offer because of my study schedule. She replied that she would continue the trip with Bob. I already told her that I didn't like the idea of my gf spending a trip with a dude, wether he's gay or not, but I would not stand in her way. I would be very happy if she called off the trip and waited til August once I've finished with the semester. She didn't want to call it off, kept saying that Bob's gay, and I was being weird about it.

Some info: She one cancelled another trip with Bob because I didn't like the idea of they would share a bed in a room to save money. In this trip they would sleep in tents in the nature. I just don't know if they will sleep in separate tents or share a tent ######

Response:
 YTA  This is petty and ridiculous.  If Bob was straight, you'd still be ridiculous.  You either trust your girlfriend, or you don't. If you don't even trust your girlfriend with someone who is gay because she can't even associate with any other penis but yours, you've got issues.

If you don't trust your girlfriend, you shouldn't be with her. Sounds like she's tired of your controlling nature so you may not be for long. ######


Prompt:
So for the people who dont know. ABG is a popular term used in Asian American culture where a asain female goes and takes a lot from black and white culture and is normally talking to a lot of guys at once.

Now this morning I woke to find out my(15M) sister(18F) dyed her hair blond. Which I then made a comment saying "ah we are going full ABG I see." She ask what I meant which I said that she dyed her hair blond. She then said that doesnt mean I'm a ABG I just wanted to try something new. I told her she wears a lot of street wear and drink a lot if boba not to be a ABG. She reminded me that I wear a lot of the same brands she does and I agreed. She then got really upset which I tried to explain to her i was just joking but she wasnt having any of it and she started coming at me for the stuff i do like how i play a lot of league of legends so i must be a stereotype. I told her she was taking it way to personally and i left the room. ######

Response:
 YTA

>she started coming at me for the stuff i do like how i play a lot of league of legends so i must be a stereotype. I told her she was taking it way to personally and i left the room.

Don't start none, won't be none. ######


Prompt:
This happened back in Feb but it’s still an issue which she brought up recently.

The title makes me sound like I’m definitely the asshole, but just let me explain:

So my (25M) girlfriend (25F) was picking up something at my workplace. This is an office job, but it’s very stressful. Anyway, I went down to the lobby to handoff the thing my girlfriend needed. I went back up right after.

Later that night, my girlfriend was telling me how she went to the bathroom in the lobby, and there was this girl quietly crying. My girlfriend said she stayed for a little bit and comforted her.

Now the reason I am really annoyed by this is because that girl had got into a *huge* argument with out boss (she was clearly in the wrong though). She was acting super arrogant about something and basically got chewed out by our boss. He was seriously pissed. Basically what happened was, our boss asked her to get him a tea bag from our coffee station. She thought she was to good for that (this is something that we all have to do from time to time) and they got into a huge argument.

Our boss just told her to go home for the day, and the other bosses (our boss’s peers) didn’t say anything.

Obviously people talk, and pretty much everyone agrees that that girl was in the wrong. Sure none of us *like* having to do that stuff, but it rarely happens.

Anyway so I guess the girl was crying in the lobby and when my girlfriend told me about what happened, I instantly recognized who she was talking about.

I told my girlfriend that I really wish she hadn’t done that because I didn’t want it to somehow seem like I, by relation, was taking sides against my boss, especially considering that this girl was the one who started the whole conflict.

My girlfriend says that regardless, it’s “empathetic” to still try to comfort her then. Even once I’ve explained everything, she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She said I’m being really cold about this. Am I the wrong one? ######

Response:
 YTA   I don't blame that girl for not wanting to be the boss's little fetch it girl.  He's got legs.

And if you were to be fired for "allowing" your girlfriend to comfort that crying girl,  do you REALLY want to work at a place with such a crappy boss?   I wouldn't want to. ######


Prompt:
I'm 38M and  my sister is 35F

When my sister was 21 she got pregnant from a one night stand, baby didnt make it unfortunately which devastated my sister but with therapy she moved on.

She met her partner a year later, four years ago she had their first child.

We're currently living with my mother to stay close together.

We got onto the topic of children and while I don't want children (neither does my partner) apparently my sisters partner wants another one so that way their child has a sibling.

She changed subject quickly  and we moved on to another subject.

We got speaking about it later and I asked her if she wanted another child, basically she said she didnt believe her son needed a sibling.

I said,, "*well, he technically already has a sibling doesn't he?*"

Apparently her partner overheard and they got into a huge argument because she hadnt told him.

She's upset with me for talking about it at all and for basically telling her husband

And her partner is upset with her, it's all a huge thing.

My mother thinks I should've never mentioned it and believes I'm out of order here.

I think her partner should've known anyway

AITA?

She had a stillbirth for everyone wondering. ######

Response:
 YTA

And even if you think 'her partner should have known anyway', it's not your place to tell him, it's not your news to tell.

You've shown a real lack of empathy here - what happened to her may be one of the most traumatic things she's ever gone through and you just casually bring it up like that when her partner's around? At best, you were inconsiderate and rude. At worst, you did it on purpose because you wanted her partner to find out, which is spiteful and scheming. I hope it's the former. ######


Prompt:
Since being at home, my wife and I have had a lot of extra time to watch movies and TV shows. Most of the time we swap off who picks the movie. However, I feel that we have pretty different tastes. I appreciate movies that are more subtle and realistic, and she likes action-packed, over-the-top type films.

The last few movies I picked were Richard Jewell, Dark Waters, The Farewell, and Just Mercy, and they were all incredible.

She picked...Crawl (alligator movie), Knives Out, and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. They weren't terrible but they were all pretty goofy and ridiculous. Tonight she insisted it was her "turn" to pick a movie and tried to get me to watch Midsommar with her. I have heard it's very over the top and ridiculous, and I just can't deal with her taste anymore. I told her, sorry, after Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, your privileges are revoked. She got annoyed and told me I have shit taste. This really bothered me since I am pretty passionate about film and at one point wanted to be a screenwriter.  I ended up going upstairs to watch Netflix by myself and she watched something downstairs alone.

Was I the asshole? I just can't put up with another one of her picks. ######

Response:
 Yes. YTA. Definitely.
Also you’ve been voted TA on every single post you’ve made on AITA so I think it should be fairly obvious by now that you’re just sorta of TA in general.. ######


Prompt:
I (36F) am getting married to my fiance next week. It was scheduled for a few months ago but was delayed for obvious reasons. My wedding has a black & white color theme, with all the bridesmaids wearing black dresses. My niece is the flower girl.

However my niece has fiery red hair. I'm afraid her hair will mess the photos, as it will contrast with the black dresses. I've asked her to dye her hair a natural color, or even just wear a wig, but both her and her aunt are very mad at me. So I uninvited my niece from the wedding until she agreed to wear a wig.

My family is pissed at me, even though I've explained I don't want her hair detracting from me in the photos. My fiance says that he supports me, but I'm going a bit far.

**So Reddit, AITA?**

Edit: I was not aware of the fact there was a similar post awhile ago

**Edit: I realize I was wrong. I am going to apologize to my niece. Thank you everyone, I was being a total bridezilla.** ######

Response:
 Yes, YTA.

What the fuck is wrong with so many brides who think they have any right at all to tell people their bodies don't look right enough to celebrate with you?

You have literally just told your niece that a *picture of you* is more important than her. ######


Prompt:
Firstly, yes I am pregnant and I do realize the reality of my emotions, but I am extremely irritated.

My fiancé has two daughters from his ex-wife, 5 and 7. He has a relationship that he titles as “friends”. They text, Snapchat and hangout at family parties together.

I have been extremely blessed to get pregnant and I am excited to go through the full experience. He was texting the BM about my doctors appointment and I feel uneasy because my child is none of her concern. I think behind the girls, I don’t need a relationship. I am kind and cordial but I’ve never been one to be buddy buddy with my partners ex. It’s hard enough for having to have her in my life for 18 years.

My fiancé was going through the baby registry that I’m creating and I found out that BM and him have been talking about what to get. He hasn’t been involved in the shopping or planning part with me—but has time to discuss it with her.

Anyways, he drops off the girls and comes back with a crib and diaper bag from BM. These items were his exs growing up and then the girls.

AITA for not wanting it? I hate the reminder and fact that it was his ex wife’s honestly.I don’t understand why BM is even a factor in my pregnancy. ######

Response: Yes, YTA. Your fiancé has a friendly relationship with the mother of his children which is a good thing. He brought over second-hand baby stuff (very common) that his own children used. I’m sure he associates it much more with them than with her. Her children and your child are going to be siblings but you sound like you wish she never existed. ######


Prompt:
I'm 17. When I was 16 my parents bought me a 2000 Subaru outback that was reasonably taken care of. I really liked my car and was very grateful to my  parents for getting it for me. A year later (now)my brother is 16 and they bought him a 1994 Jeep that is really nice and is in super good condition. It looks new. I'm happy for my brother because he loves his Jeep and is very excited about it but I'm really upset with my parents right now because that got him a waaayy nicer vehicle than mine. I don't want to seem ungrateful for what my parents have done for me especially considering I wouldn't have vehicle without them but I want to confront them about it.

I don't think it's just my imagination because when I was telling my friend about his Jeep her dad said he would throw a fit.  He is very big on respecting parents and I haven't heard him say stuff like that. I'm unsure if anything will come out me doing this so I'm not sure if its worth anything other than to let my parents know that I am upset. I think that is assholeish because I would only cause drama and a possible grounding. I want to though. I am very confused about my feelings right now because I'm crying but somehow really mad and nervous feeling? WIBTA ######

Response: Yes, YTA. When I was old enough to get a car, I got my sister’s hand me down, and my parents bought her a new car. I didn’t think it was fair, but I was grateful to have had a car in the first place, when so many people either don’t have one, or have to buy one for themselves. Just let it go, it’s not worth the battle ######


Prompt:
I'm a dad of six kids (17m, 14f, 6m, 3f, 1f). My 14 y/o has always helped out with taking care of the younger ones, and we often jokingly refer to her as the "3rd parent".

She takes care of small things, like making sure the younger ones have brushed their teeth and are in bed on time, or making them breakfast in the mornings, or helping the 6 y/o with his homework.

She's never complained about doing any of this, and she seems to enjoy helping out. Lately, though, she's been complaining about how she never has any time for herself and always has to be watching the younger kids.

I think she just has to manage her time better. She agreed to take on some extra responsibilities to help take care of them, and I think she should honor that.

The only thing is, she was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and has had a few panic attacks. Her therapist told us to stop having her help out with the little ones, but she's been doing it for years already, why should it change now?

So, AITA for having my daughter continue doing something she's been fine with for years? ######

Response:
 Yes, YTA. She’s 14 years old. She isn’t a parent and she isn’t a babysitter. Why don’t you try stepping up and being a parent instead of expecting your 14 year old kid to do it for you.

Just because previously she *liked* to help out doesn’t mean she has to continue to like it. And you thinking she should just makes you an asshole and lazy shitty parent.

Also, misleading title too. You aren’t letting her take care of them, you literally expect her too. ######


Prompt:
So daughter lives a few states away from us with her husband so we don’t see them too often. We are currently visiting for the week but things are rocky right now because of what I’m about to explain.

They like to use those Alexa devices. Before we arrived I told her I would not tolerate that she keep them out while we are here. She just told me “no” and said I’m being rude to demand that. I said I don’t care and they better be gone when we get there. I feel like she is extremely stupid and naive to think it’s safe to use those things. I don’t want my every word listened to.

Well of course we get there any she still has them out. so I did what I had to and when she or her husband weren’t looking I unplugged  them and tossed them in the trash. I feel like I’m justified because 1: she blankety disrespected my concerns and 2: she needed to learn this lesson at some point, she is stupid to own this stalkerish device, it listens to everything. Once she found out she got so pissed and told me I’m fucking insane. I told her she’s being stupid and naive and she disrespected me. Then she told me I’m being a hypocrite because I have a smartphone that listens to me all the time anyway and by my logic I should throw that away too. Uh yeah no, I don’t even use hey Siri and her mother doesn’t use google assistant. She is blatantly wrong about that. Then she demanded that I get them from the trash. I refused of course and now things are not good right now. She could’ve just put them away like I told her to but Instead she decided to ruin what could’ve been a good trip over a couple of stalking devices. Not just disrespectful but just plain stupid imo. She needs to learn yet refuses to do so. AITA? ######

Response: Yes, YTA. How dare you? If you were so damn concerned about it, you should have stayed in a freaking hotel. ######


Prompt:
Since world events -- staying at GFs.

She works from home -- I dont have to work but have full salary. I kill time by watching shows, playing online games and hanging with GF when she's not working.

Yesterday -- my laptop broke -- I don't know what's wrong with it and I will have to bring it in.

My GF has 2 laptops; one for work and one for "fun". Her work is encrypted or something so she doesn't like using it for general browsing. I asked to borrow her extra laptop yesterday for my game. She said after her movie ended because she was streaming from fun laptop to tv and working at the same time. It would be about 1.5hrs.

When she went to the washroom, I took her fun laptop and switched to a similar movie on netflix. I dont understand why she had to watch this movie right now. She has netflix, amazon, crave and Disney plus, so many options to choose from. Like shes a bit priviliged with a smart tv in her room, her guest room and her living room. An Xbox, PS4, Switch and N64. Sometimes I think she likes having the "best" of everything.

Anyhow she got really upset with me and said I violated her boundaries -- big fight last night. She made me sleep in the guest room. My guy friends think shes over-reacting. Like it's just a movie.

This morning she said she slept on it and feels like we need a break and asked me to leave. I left this afternoon to my parents but borrowed the extra laptop until I get mine fixed.

She called freaking out, called me a thief, said she will call the cops. Accused me of being AH but my mom thinks she needs to chill. Maybe do a spa day or something. Like she has 2 laptops and all these gaming devices, I think she will be fine.

So AITA for borrowing my GFs laptop? ######

Response:
 Yes, YTA.  It’s her laptop, not yours.  Give it back and be a responsible adult (get yours fixed or get a new one).

She’s not “spoiled” by having all these things.  She works hard, earns money, and buys them.  Like a responsible adult. ######


Prompt:
Me and my daughter have been haven’t been getting along so well recently and I feel as though I’ve been under-appreciated because she doesn’t seem to realise how much I really do around the house. I’m a single parent (there’s just us in the house) with disabilities that stop me from doing certain things such as taking clothes upstairs and putting them away or doing the dishes etc... So my daughter does these things; she also vacuums around the house, cleans the bathroom the majority of the time, sweeps in the kitchen, looks after our pets... However, recently, she’s been spending a lot of the time in her room doing school work, which I know she is quite stressed about, and she’s not been keeping up with her chores around the house.

I’ve been spending a lot of the week at my friend’s workplace and helping her with certain things while my daughter has been at home. I was hoping she’d maybe do some jobs while I was out but I’ve been coming home to see the bare minimum, she’d only vacuumed and put washing on the dryer. I’d just given up so I refused to do anything and waited for my daughter to notice.

I’ve seen her become more and more stressed throughout the week. Yesterday, we sat down to watch a film and by the end of it she was annoyed because I was on my phone most of the time and asked her to tell me what happened- she usually doesn’t get annoyed by this and I told her that she used to do it all the time so why shouldn’t I? I’m the adult, not her. The dog has also chewed one of her last pairs of glasses this week, they were her favourite.

I felt like my point was finally getting across so I told her this morning about what I’ve been doing. She seemed shocked and upset but I’ve been dealing with her behaviour for weeks, I told her to put herself in my shoes and she just ignored me. She apologised but I have a feeling she’s still upset.

So, Reddit, am I the a-hole? ######

Response: Yes YTA. You have a disability that keeps you from doing any chores so you use your 14 year old daughter as a maid??? You said she doesn’t realize what you do around the house but like what DO you do around the house? ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have a friend that we’ll call J (30F). J is married to T (32M). We were all friends and hung out together at their house a bunch.
At one point, T caught some feelings for me, and there was some inappropriate texting. Yes, I fully know we were both assholes there, but that’s not why I’m here. Everything was brought out into the open, and amends were made. Took a long time, but trust was built back up. Now T and I are talking again behind Js back. It is 100% innocent and I kept all the messages just to prove it in case it came down to it.
T and I have a lot in common and we really are just friends, but we know that J will never trust us because of how royally we messed up before. Neither one of us have many friends, so we don’t want to stop. We really and truly enjoy talking to each other, but we don’t want it to blow up and cause problems.

So judge me reddit, I need help. AITA for continuing to talk to T? ######

Response: Yes YTA, as is T. It doesn’t matter if it’s “innocent” (which I really doubt and I’m sure at least you still like each other, but giving you both the benefit of the doubt), he cheated on his wife with you. It’s so inappropriate for you two to have any kind of personal relationship and private communication now. You’re lucky J forgave you, now you are expecting far too much from her of you think she should just brush off you lying to her and going behind her back again. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because a few of my coworkers use reddit.

So I'm a teacher at a relatively low income school. If you didn't know, this week is teacher appreciation week and though school has been cancelled for the rest of the year we still give lessons online.

My school's administration set up a drive through so that we could still pick-up our teacher appreciation gifts, and afterwards a large group of us teachers would decorate our cars and drive through the surrounding neighborhoods with signs for the students stuck at home.

I brought along my (18F) daughter, who I'll refer to as K, and my other daughter (12F). I had K drive my truck in the parade so that my youngest and I could sit in the back with the signs and wave to everyone.

Well, about ten minutes in K made a wrong turn (weren't leading) and we got seperated from the group. I started yelling for K to turn around which caused her to freak out and start crying. She pulled into a driveway and managed to catch up with everyone but I was rather annoyed at her. She had one job, to follow everyone else.

That wasn't the only thing, she kept driving slower than everyone and I had to continuously tell her to keep up.

When we got back to the school K was still upset and I kept trying to tell her to just let it go. I apologized to everyone for the inconvenience and some teachers told me that I should not have acted so harshly to K, one teacher actually hit the person in front of her, and pointed out that all things considered K did fine.

K hates driving my truck and it always stresses her out, but I stand firm in my belief that as a soon to be college student she should have experience driving a wide range of vehicles. Also how hard is it to just follow in line with a bunch of cars?

Either way my daughter told my wife what happened and now she's annoyed at me too. I just want to move on from it now, its done and overall we had a good time, but apparently it's still an issue. AITA? ######

Response: Yes YTA- even your version of events you come off harsh. She a newish driver even if she started at 16, hates your truck, had you screaming in her ear, not an easy thing. Not to mention this can’t be the first time you treated her this way, she probably was so afraid of your wrath if she screwed up it became a self fulfilling prophecy. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my girlfriend follows my main. Also sorry I'm on mobile.

My (M19) girlfriend (F18) and I got into an argument over this and we resolved it but I can't stop wondering if I was TA.

My GF was telling me about how sick and tired she was of the cat calling she and other women get. Now, my GF is gorgeous. She's curvy in all the right places and is very beautiful. So I tell her that though it is unfortunate, she attracts male attention because she is beautiful.

Apparently I said something wrong. She tells me she does appreciate the compliment, but it was very tone deaf. She accused me of victim blaming and says that the men doing it need to control themselves.

This is where I get mad. I blow up at her, saying that not all men are like that and she needs to stop blaming me. I tell her I was just trying to make her feel better.

She tells me that she knows it is not all men, but it is too many. I tell her to shut up and stop with her man-hating. She is crying at this point and hangs up the call. I was mad and didn't want to talk to her anymore so I went to sleep.

So Reddit, AITA?

EDIT: Okay, yes. I am a huge A hole. I owe my GF an apology. Thank you for helping me come to my senses. ######

Response:
 Yeah. YTA. Telling her to shut up? Try supporting your girlfriend a little.

Also, cat-calling isn't a 'compliment' that women reject. Cat-calling makes women feel objectified and unsafe in some - if not most - situations. Usually men only cat-call when women are alone or with other women, not when they're walking with men, which is a huge indicator that it shouldn't even be done, ever. ######


Prompt:
I have always tried to teach my daughter to be respectful to others and herself. When she was 16 she had wanted a tattoo and I told her that it was her choice but a condition with living in our house was that such a thing is not permitted. I told her that I felt that tattoos were something that I believed were unnecessary and not a good way to treat your body.

My daughter is almost 20 now. A week ago I accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom. I quickly turned away but couldn't help noticing that she had large parts of her body covered in tattoos. I am shocked that I had not noticed them earlier because in the short glimpse I got it looked like her whole back was tattooed as well as many others elsewhere. The only explanation I have is that she must have always had them covered in clothing around me.

I confronted my daughter about the tattoos later and she initially denied them. I told her I know what I saw and she eventually admitted that she had got them and hid them from me because she knows I am against them.

I was deeply hurt by what she had done. The tattoos were hurtful because she knew I was against them but my hurt is not just about the tattoos. She has been living with us without paying board despite working full time and I am also angry that she is wasting her money on tattoos rather trying to pay her way. The reason why we have allowed her to live with us without paying anything is we wanted her to be able to save to buy a house and get a head start in life. I was extremely angry that instead she was blowing her money on something she knew both her parents were against.

I ended up telling my daughter that she needs to move out which of course led to major arguments and drama. I have now cooled down and my husband is saying maybe I was too harsh. He is also angry but thinks kicking our daughter out is an overreach. AITA for my stance on this? ######

Response: Yeah, YTA. You don’t get to tell your 20 year old how to spend her money. You can ask her to start paying rent for living with you, but that’s it. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) have been together for almost a year. She comes from a wealthy family. They own several houses and buy my gf everything she wants whenever she wants it. They’re good people, but I think they need to treat her like a woman instead of a child. I worked hard for everything I have, which isn’t much, so it frustrates me to watch her coast through life. They pay all of her bills, including putting her through medical school. All she has to pay for herself are her luxuries, so she is able to build up her savings much more than I am. Who the hell is able to save up while they’re in medical school? Well anyone can become a doctor with the endless opportunities that she has.

So yesterday my girlfriend and I got into a very heated argument. She told me her new laptop had finally come. I asked her what laptop. She said her old one broke a few days ago so she ordered a new one. She got a top of the line MacBook, way more bells and whistles than what she needs. I asked how she paid for it but I knew the answer, her parents bought it. So here’s where I might be the asshole. I was really mad knowing they probably spent 3 months of what could be someone’s rent on a computer that she *doesn’t need*. I finally just asked her if she’s embarrassed that everything she has in life has been handed to her. Naturally she got defensive and we started arguing. After a while I calmly said I think she’s a spoiled brat and her parents are doing a disservice to her. She called me a string of obscenities in return before hanging up on me. We haven’t talked since.

I get that I was harsh on her but I really don’t think I was wrong. She’s an adult who has no concept of what the real world is like. I want the best for her at the end of the day. Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 Yeah, YTA. Spoiled brats throw tantrums for what they want. It sounds like her parents are very generous, and it's not really any of your business if they buy her a laptop rather than paying someone else's rent as long as she's not expecting you to do the same.

Not anyone can be a doctor, even if she's given lots of luxuries. Maybe you were lashing out from your own insecurities. Your girlfriend is a saver. She has more money in a savings account than you do, so she's not just leaking all her money away and expecting someone else to fill in the gap. ######


Prompt:
Sooo.

I’m friends with a guy who I ended up falling for, and I confessed these feelings to him last summer. He said he didn’t feel the same way. Cool. Whatevs. We’re still pretty good friends.

The only thing I wish he’d quit doing is complaining about his (lack of a) dating life. He’s in his 30s, and says he should be seriously dating someone in hopes of getting married and having kids.

All I hear is that ‘no one will give him a chance’ yada yada.. When I’m sitting over here, having basically yanked my heart out and giving it to him, just to have him say no thanks.

I’d honestly be delighted if he got a girlfriend and was happy. But this complaining makes me want say cry me a river.

WIBTA if I told him to stop complaining about this particular problem to me? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA

Don't be friends with someone you pine for if you can't handle the fact that they still want a relationship with someone else.

I'm sorry that the feelings werent returned. It's a bummer but being mad at him because he wasn't interested isn't fair to him.

The friend zone is a made up concept by angry people who feel they are owed a relationship. No one is. ######


Prompt:
Throwayay for obvious reasons, and I’ll try to keep this short. Also, this is not relationship advice, I just want to know if I presented things in a bad way.

A while back I started searching for some new jobs out of boredom basically. To my surprise I managed to land something that requires me to relocate to another country, let’s call it B. The country I’m on right now, country A, is pretty shitty compared to B.

Now the thing is I’ve been married to my wife whom I love dearly, but we haven’t had any children yet. When I told her what I did we had a fight because she says her family is here and she cannot separate from them. My position is that this is an amazing opportunity with many costs supported by the employer and the pay is great too. Negatives would be: learning the language to gain access to other jobs, especially for her (for me English is enough), and distance from family (about 3000km). She says she would be homesick within a month and she will not leave with me at all.

As a final point I told her I hate being tied up to other people’s lives and that it was her family’s choice to remain in country A. I feel that ultimatum was kind of harsh, so I’m asking you AITA? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA.

Firstly because you 'demanded' your wife has to relocate (not nice at all), second because you did this without consulting her, and third because you're not taking any of her feelings in to account here.

Try and act like an adult and have a proper discussion. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend always calls herself her cat’s Mommy. She’ll pick him up and say things like, “Do you love Mommy? He loves Mommy!” And then she’ll say to me, “Aw, he wants to see his Daddy” and just hand me her cat. She calls her Dad “Grandpa” and her Mom “Grandma” to this cat. It’s a cat!

I told her that it’s weird and I can’t take it anymore. It’s so creepy. She’s not the cat’s Mommy, it’s a cat, his mother is a cat. She says “well I raised him from a kitten so I feel like his Mommy” and I said “yeah but he’s still a cat, you are not and will never be his mother.” She actually started to cry.

AITA? It’s a cat, she’s not his mother, it reminds me of that drawing of a human that’s pregnant with a cat. It’s just weird and it wouldn’t take that much effort for her to stop being so weird. It’s embarrassing when my friends are over and she’s like “oh he wants to see Daddy!” When referring to a cat. ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA. With that logic, people who adopted kids wouldn't be allowed to call themselves their kid's parents because they didn't birth them.

It's kind of a common thing for people to do this with pets too. If it's not okay with you that she's doing this, it may become a dealbreaker because it's something some people feel comfortable and others don't. But that doesn't give you the right to make her feel "creepy" for having a preference when there's no right or wrong and it's subjective. ######


Prompt: I’m a 25 year old guy and I’m married to my wife who is 24. Okay so recently I’ve noticed that she’s gained a bit of weight, not crazy or anything ridiculous, but a bit. I’m into fitness myself so I like to stay active and healthy in general. Well her birthday was a couple days ago and along with some other gifts, I got her a weightloss/workout bundle kit. Immediately she became upset with me about it and was thinking i was mad at her or saying she’s fat, which I wasn’t. I tried explaining to her why I did it, but she didn’t wanna hear me. It’s been a couple days now and she’s still pissed about it. AITA? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA. Putting the “woman and her weight” thing aside, what you basically did here is get her a birthday gift that was something either *you* wanted or you decided she *should* want. It wasn’t at all related to her interests or values. That’s not a gift—it’s an expectation, or a request.

tbh any self improvement type of thing that your partner hasn’t explicitly expressed interest in is a bit of a no go—it feels like a passive aggressive way to start a conversation about you and your partners diverging values. If you wanted her to care about fitness with you, then talking to her about it and making it an invitation to share something would have been a better start. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway... Also please don't just assume 'YTA' just because of the title.

So I like painting/drawing, it's a great hobby of mine, and I love to do it in my free time.

My gf is a very clumsy girl. She'll trip on air. Which is surprising since she loves to bake. She can bake really good cakes/desserts, tho the clumsiness sometimes makes her drop flour, eggs etc. And she has broken a few glasses, but she has always paid for me to get them back, so it's not really a big issue.

 So since we're all staying inside I decided to paint, and I spent like 4+ hours on it (with breaks of course) and the final project was amazing. One of my best artworks. I was ecstatic.

I asked my gf to come and see it to give her opinion and what it looked like. She came in a few minutes and told me it looked amazing, and that I should sell it. She then got up to make some coffee and I decided to add some final touches and stuff.

So then when I was doing it, my g.f comes in, with the hot coffee, and...

*Spills it all over my painting.*

She immediately started saying sorry while saying she'll pay for a new canvas, new supplies, and other things.

I got really mad, and started yelling at her for being clumsy, and told her she couldn't repay me hours of my time and effort, that maybe she should watch where she's going before she ruins something else. And then we didn't really talk, and I came back to a ruined dry, messy canvas.

I went to sleep, and in the morning woke up to her making breakfast and apologizing. The house was all clean, and she made my favorite cake and stuff.  I forgived her, tho I'm still a little mad over it. But I feel a little guilty...

So aita for yelling at her reddit? ######

Response: Yeah YTA. Accidents happen, it sucks, but you can be mad/frustrated without lashing out at people excessively. You should be apologizing to her as well and making it up to her. Just keep your paintings out of the way or something next time. ######


Prompt:
Hello Reddit!

So our group of friends consists of me (19 F) and 5 guys (20-21 M), one of them being the friend that I will talk about next.

He has a gf about the same age as us, and they've been together for a around a year. The girl is ok, she's ok to have an occasional chat with, but what bothers us is that she has nothing in common us.Most of the times she's out with us she barely talks with us. She is just there, as if she is spectating.

We've informed our friend on many occasions that it would be nice to see him alone from time to time, but he didn't took it very seriously.

A few days ago I couldn't take it anymore and told him straight to the face that it's time he stops bringing her when seeing us, simply because it's not her place, and it's weird for us, as we would sometimes would not be able to talk in our specific way ( a lot of dumb jokes, but they make sense as they are our inside jokes).

He got really mad and started acting childish, and the next time we went out, brought her again.

So, am I the asshole for telling him to stop coming with her? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA, it doesn’t even sound like you’re trying to include her. Also why do you have to adjust your behaviour/conversations when she’s around?

You seem quite bitter that there’s another girl hanging around, we get it, you’re one of the boys. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I (27F and 34M) have been together for 5 years and living together for 3. To start off with, I am disabled an unable to work due to some mental health issues (severe anxiety and depression mainly.) She knows this, and has always been the provider.

I was going to propose to her, but last year she quit her job at a factory to focus on her hobby of running an online arts and crafts business from Etsy. I understood, even understood there'd be a pay cut, because she was then bringing in a good amount of money from that home business. But I warned her that we needed a more stable source of income, that my disability wouldn't cut it, and she should get a regular job and keep the Etsy thing as a part time job.

It kind of seems like she's using me for my disability, now. She refused and just focused more on her Etsy business, which wasn't always successful. Now that things have gotten to where they are, it's like she uses that as an excuse to not get one and just keep doing her arts and crafts. The other day, I told her I was going to propose, but think it should wait, because she refuses to help us build a more stable life.

She got mad and said I could get an online job or delivery job. She *knows* I'm disabled, but would rather me contribute even more than her put down her pipe dream. I told her I can't do that and it's incredibly selfish of her, especially since she got with me knowing I'm disabled.

AITA for being unable to fund her hobby? ######

Response:
 Yeah YTA for several reasons. I was gonna say E S H but going through the comments, 100% YTA. Lets sum it up.

-You claim to be depressed and to have anxiety, which i cannot confirm nor deny and im not trying to, but yet you minimize the mental health of your girlfriend. She claims her job was affecting her mental health, but you instead see it as some sort of personal attack.

-You claim to be too depressed to even get up or shower, and make snarky comments at anyone who did improve themselves about how lucky and privileged they are that they managed to better themselves. Yet, you still want to have kids with your girlfriend in the near future. Thats part of the reason you claim to want to be financially stable. How do you expect to have those kids if youre too depressed/disabled to even walk some dogs for extra cash? Do you expect your girlfriend to work *and* take care of the kids? Trust me, kids are a lot more work than your average part time job.

-You seem to refuse to better yourself. As i stated above, you get pissed at anyone who does improve themselves or assume people are neurotypical when they tell you to at least try to get some of your shit together. And guess what? Im fucking disabled, too, buddy. Maybe not to your extent, i dont know you. But i sure as hell am far from neurotypical. Im very far from abled.

Stop complaining about your girlfriend's financial decisions and *business* (not hobby) if you are refusing to contribute even a little bit yourself. ######


Prompt:
I have a very decent name. I mean, I don't hate it and I don't love it. Long story short, my father had a name picked out when I was born and up until birth, my name was going to be name A. Then, out came me and my mother freaked out, said she hated my name that they had agreed on for the past 7 months and said she was going to divorce my father if she every heard that name again. I ended up with name B, which has no relationship to name A at all.

Now I have name B. Not a problem, but the thing of it is they haven't been able for the last 20+ years to agree on how to pronounce the damn thing. Think of it like LA Ah for Leah for one, and Leah for another. Or EE-Liz-abeth or Elizabeth. Two different, but very distinct sounding names, but it's the same name. I switch between the two, and prefer one over the other.

My mother was bitching about my dad (they're divorced) over a mutual dilemma they had over my younger brother, and I finally said "I shouldn't be surprised you all can't decide, it's been 20 years and you still can't decide on a name"

Look, my name had been a constant power struggle for both of them. I'm sick and tired of it. So AITA for bringing this up? It's a sore spot for both of them. ######

Response:
 NTAyou just pointed out a fact

Protip :You can always change your name to assert dominance ######


Prompt:
**Not recent but we are still arguing over this**

My sister was adopted when she was 9, I was 17 at the time so we aren't exactly besties which makes this more tense.

She's always struggled to move on with life, she's had countless therapists and has only just started to move on with her life.

When my sister was 19 she started to drink, since I wasn't living locally I only knew she had a problem about 4 years into it.

She's (28F) since cleared up her act, her partner even proposed and they're talking about having children when she's sober for long enough (she's been sober for 10months now and she wants to wait till she's been sober for 2-3 years)

8months ago we were having dinner with my parents and I got myself and my husband a drink.

The entire family went silent, like I'd done something profoundly evil.

And when my sister left my mother pulled me aside to tell me how wrong it was to drink in front of my sister who's struggling and my sisters partner hasn't had a nice word to say to  me since (we avoid each other)

Well, we were on skype with the family recently and I mentioned the biggest struggle was how every  food I used to enjoy makes me nauseous now.

My sisters partner said "oh, I'll make sure to eat that around you then like you did with *sisters name*" in a snarky tone, my sister butted in to say he was joking.

I exited the chat and told my sister I expected an apology from him.

She replied "*where's my apology when you saw me struggling and continued to drink?*"

I don't think I did **anything** wrong! They frequently go out to meals and she wouldve seen someone drinking then, I can't shield her from every little thing.

AITA? I'll apologise if I am. ######

Response:
 NTAIf she can't see other people drink how the fuck is she supposed to quit?  When I quit drinking I didn't expect everyone around me to no longer enjoy the things they did in their daily lives just because I have no self control.
However you need to grow up lol jesus ######


Prompt:
I'm the eldest sibling in my family and have always prompted my younger brothers to remember important dates for our parents. Over the past two years, my youngest brother (29) has been living with a woman who has some strong beliefs about death and being in places where people have died. As such, my brother has drifted away from the family.

He has said some very rude and offensive things to me and our other brother and uses our parents as an ATM. I can't blame my parents for helping, as it is always some dire emergency like their power is going to be shut off (the GF has two kids from two other guys who live with them) or not enough money for groceries, etc.

Recently, he has refused leftovers that my mother was bringing to him for his lunch at work as the food has been in her house and is "cursed." These lunch drop offs were the only in person contact my mother had with him. When he cut off the visits, it broke her heart and she cried. My mom is not a crier, so you can imagine the protective outrage throughout my family, though we didn't actually go after my brother.

Today is my Mom's birthday. Usually, I would remind my brothers to wish her a happy birthday, but since every time my youngest brother calls, he asks for money and causes general disappointed heartbreak, WIBTA if I didn't remind him? There is a good chance he'll see that it's her birthday on Facebook and that will remind him to call, but if I don't, WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA—your brother chose to isolate himself and scoff at your mother's kindness.

Most importantly, your brother's [horrible] taste in women is not your responsibility. Maybe focus this energy into doing something nice for your mom? He seems like an energy suck. ######


Prompt:
My(28f) sister(20f) arrived in Canada for her first degree last September with the help of my uncle who gave her about $5500 to take care of her rent and other expenses at least for the first semester. The plan was for her to also get a part time job to support herself because her program consisted of only 4 classes a week ie one class for about 2/3 hours a day. This gives her more than enough time to work and study as well.
Once she arrived here, I tried to help by securing a cheap room near her campus, taking her to value village (It’s like Goodwill) for fall and winter clothes, driving her to grocery shops and fast food places to drop her resume and others. I should add I live in a different town almost 2 hours away from her but I did my best to get her situated.
Unfortunately I have been paying her rent for the 6 out of 8 months she’s been here. This is because she spent all her money on shopping sprees, taking Uber rides instead of the bus to school, ordering food and pizza all the time instead of cooking. My husband and i have adviced her constantly on doing better on several occasions.
She finally got a part time job a month ago and instead of paying off her rent, got an iPhone 10. She’s also on probation at school and has the potential of being withdrawn from the school.

Now my mum won’t stop crying and begging me to pay for my sister’s rent and food and I refuse to do so. I offered to have her stay with us but I’m in a “village” so that’s out of the question. We can’t tell my uncle because he expected her to be able to manage what he gave her and tbh things aren’t as good as they used to be because of the virus. I should add I have a young baby and I haven’t worked in a year. My husband has put his foot down this time and won’t help because of my sister’s lifestyle/decisions so far.

So AITA because I wouldn’t bail out my sister? ######

Response: NTA—You’re only the asshole if you don’t tell your uncle.  He should know his money was flushed down the toilet before he gives her anymore.  DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN ######


Prompt: So background I pay for Netflix and let my brother in another state use it for him and his kids. I even made him his own profile so he can stop watching on mine, and his kids share the kid profile with mine. Well his daughter created her own and then changed the name of "kids" to that of her siblings. So I called him and said that that's not fair for the three kids I have that don't have their own profile (there just isn't enough for the adults and every kid to have their own) and that my kids were mad that the name of the kids profile only had his kids names. He then proceeded to yell and act like I owed him and am being vindictive and taking it out on his kids. He then stated that he can buy his own Netflix and I need to have a nice life. So I changed my Netflix password 🤷🏼♀ AITA for wanting Netflix to be fair between the children? I know it's Netflix and not a big deal but for kids everything is a big deal and if my kids share a profile that just says kids why can't his kids share it too without changing the name to theirs and excluding mine when I'm the one that pays for it? After I changed it I got a phone call and got yelled at more because I'm a terrible aunt and made the kids cry, even though he said he could get his own ######

Response: NTA—They abused your favor. They should get and pay for their own account. ######


Prompt:
Little back story here. 8 months ago my wife asked if her sister could come stay with us for a week or two. I  agreed. Now 8 months later after asking my wife several times When is she leaving? Today was the day.
She does not work, her daughter eats all of my children's food and she never stops crying. I know this was important to my wife and she is furious with me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support someone else and their child?

Edit: more info.

She enrolled her daughter in school after changing her address to my home with out my knowledge. She does help around the house but there is no financial help. I did consult with my wife before acting. Unfortunately  my requests seem to fall on deaf ears...

She will not be homeless she has a place to go. ######

Response: NTA—it seems possible your wife may have misled you. Your SIL changing her address to yours makes it clear she planned on staying in your home long-term from the beginning. This is also your home—the topic of your SIL moving in should have been properly discussed with you. ######


Prompt:
We had online exams 2 weeks ago. There was this particular exam where 2/3 of the students cheated. This weeks the results were given. Out of those 2/3 maybe 7/8 got a zero on the exam for plagiarism.  They  claim that they didn't, and that they know all the topics.
The only option would be remaking the exam.
The problem starts here. I did not cheat, and had a hard time in the exam. Nevertheless, I got a 93. As I hate cheaters, I would like to expose them to the professor. As he have a group chat for the generation, I have taken many screenshots of thwm sending and copying others, aa well as their plans to excuse themselves from this.
So, WIBTA if I send them to the prof? ######

Response:
 NTA—I’d say it’s within reason to expose their cheating.

Though I’d weigh if it were worth it to make everyone retake the test when the majority of the cheaters already got zeros, unless I’ve misunderstood ######


Prompt:
This happened about a year and a half ago, my birthday was coming up and while I haven't really celebrated it since I was like 7 or 8 my dad gives me money for something I want. My buddy got tickets to a primetime football game and I asked for a ticket to that game for my birthday. He agreed to get it for me but he said I had to bring along my step brothers, I wanted to go to the game cause it was just gonna be me and my friend and I think his friend or something.

I told my dad thanks but if they have to come then to just get rid of the tickets. He got disappointed but he just got rid of the tickets. I ended up not going to the game and got 20 bucks instead for my birthday, I am still pretty pissed that I wasn't able to go to the game. But my dad said "this is my punishment for not wanting them to tag along". AITA? ######

Response: NTA— your dad is trying to get you guys to get along, which anybody in his position would, and it would be ideal. Unfortunately doing this in your birthday and by force is unfair and not very smart because things like this happen, and everyone resents each other. I am sorry this happened to you. ######


Prompt: Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the "puberty" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a "bro kit" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ######

Response: NTA— When you said “bro kit” I was expecting some really inappropriate things, but then you proceded to describe basic toiletries. I don’t think there’s anything offensive or inappropriate here and I don’t know why his mom would object. Are you sure this is the case? Maybe the way you are phrasing this and the way you phrase things beforehand (in general) is giving his mom the same impression I got when I first read this. ######


Prompt:
My spouse and I have a recurring argument that revolves around their desire to have our 5 year old sleep in our bed. If it were an emergency situation, my child wasn’t feeling well or there was a severe storm or something like that I am fine with them sleeping in our bed. Also, as a compromise I let our child sleep in our bed once a week, typically on a Friday night when it isn’t a work/school night and it’s not that big a deal if we all don’t get a great night’s rest.

Lately, my spouse has been asking for our child to sleep in our bed at least one additional evening without much reasoning. I protest because I feel it’s unnecessary to disrupt our child’s sleep pattern (which is otherwise very good & normal!) and I personally do not sleep as well with less space in the bed, fighting over blankets and repeatedly getting woken up, etc. I put my foot down and refuse (at least once a week) causing a fight with my spouse who inevitably goes up to sleep with my child in their bed. They think I am controlling and think it is unfair my “vote” counts more than theirs in that I get the “final decision.” AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA— I find that it’s really strange your spouse is the one pushing for your kid to sleep in your guys’ bed. Your spouse is preventing your child from developing some independence/privacy and that can later be detrimental.

It seems like it’s an attachment issue for your spouse— is it anything more concerning about their behavior than just this? ######


Prompt:
Two years ago my cousin's dog was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition. The veterinary bill eclipsed $10,000 AUD. My cousin didn't have the necessary funds, and for whatever reason ended up in my house begging and pleading for a loan.

I should mention here that I'm not rich by any means. Rather, it's the fact that I'm the only person in our family that (1) has a steady job and (2) has no major expenses. My partner and I lived frugally for a long time to save up an emergency fund. The loan came out of these funds.

The loan agreement is simple: $10,000 over a maximum duration of five years, paid monthly, and accruing interest rate pegged to my mortgage offset account's interest rate. There is no 'formal' contract per se (though one most likely exists at common law). But there is an understanding that she will pay the loan back as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, collecting money from my cousin has been like drawing blood from a stone. My cousin is a low income earner. Which would be fine - especially because she lives at home and has no major expenses. But she also spends way beyond her means: luxury designer items, exorbitant holidays abroad, etc. Things she has no business purchasing on her income.

To put it in perspective, my cousin has had more late payments than ones paid on time. To date, she's currently three months in arrears (\~ $500 AUD). It isn't much, I know. But it's the mere fact that I have to continually chase her up that annoys the hell out of me.

So when I saw her bragging about a new Burberry coat on her social media, I couldn't help but leave a comment to the effect of: "You can't afford a Burberry coat. You can't even afford to pay me back for your dog's surgery".

By the time my cousin noticed my comment, enough people were talking about it. My cousin called me up infuriated that I would out her dirty laundry. But, honestly, I'm at my wit's end. I just want her to stick to our agreement.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA— I applaud what you did. Your cousin is a huge and very brazen asshole. You may have given her the best lesson of her life because if she continues like this, she will have some very serious financial problems (if she doesn’t already have them). You have already come to her aid and now, she, a person on low income, is buying Burberry coats while she neglects her loans? WTF. Clearly you have failed to convey this same message in the past in private so you gave her a very efficient shock factor. Good for you and do not back up. ######


Prompt: For a little bit of context I understand it's not a bit deal we all have those dreams and I am over reacting on my part by just wanting to be alone for a little bit. My wife tells me she had a dream where we were all at my best friends house and i had to walk outside to do something. During this time she initiates having sex with my best friend. Come to find out I had my head taken off by a semi. When she brings it up she gets a big old smile and says "yes I had sex with him". The smile is what hurt me the most. So I go downstairs and after about 5 minutes she come down and starts hugging me so I push her away (Not violently or using any force or anything, I'm not an abuser). Then she goes upstairs cussing up a storm stars slamming doors and everything. I'm still currently downstairs becuase even though it's a dream it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt especially since it's with my best friend who I've known since kindergarten. Thank you for your time. ######

Response:
 NTA
Your wife's dream is fine weird stuff happens in dreams but her basically bragging to you about it and then acting like nothing is wrong is sketchy as hell ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time.

To try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas/lentils/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer.

My sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her.

Everything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some "real food" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA
Your sister is living rent free and complaining about what you have to eat? It sounds like she’s TA tbh. Especially if she knows your situation too. ######


Prompt:
A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it and I completely forgot we ever had that conversation. Today me and her had an argument about something completely unrelated and she said “well atleast I’m not hated by literally everyone around me” and I instantly felt horrible, not only because this is something that I struggle with so much but also because I trusted her and told her my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in front of the rest of my family (who didn’t disagree lolol), we live in the same house unfortunately but I’ve been avoiding her, we haven’t spoken in maybe a week, she tried talking to me today by asking to watch a movie and I told her I don’t feel comfortable hanging out with her, am I the asshole for wanting to completely isolate myself from her after this incident?

TLDR: told my sister my biggest insecurity and she used it against me in an unrelated argument ######

Response:
 NTA
your sister could have said anything but to bring up something you confided to her is wrong on many levels. ######


Prompt:
My (27m) wife (26f) and I have been together since 2012. We started dating young and got married at 23. It was the greatest decision of my life. She means the world to me and then some and I love this woman. We’ve helped each other grow over the years and about a year ago we decided to start trying for a baby.

A year later and no luck. So my wife made an appointment with her doctor and found out that there’s a 99.9% chance that she’ll be able to conceive naturally and that IVF is our best and only real option. So we started looking into the cost of that and we cannot swing it with our own money, we just bought a house together. We don’t have any extra spending money, though we both have great jobs.

So I decided I’d go to my mother and ask her if she would pay for it or loan us the money, because she paid for my older sister to have IVF done 2 years ago. She laughed in my face. Told me she only paid for my sisters because that’s her real daughter and that my girlfriend should ask her mom (she knows she passed away, she was being a smart ass). She suggested I find another wife that has a “working reproductive system”.

Keep in mind, my parents are very wealthy people. I know they can afford it and it wouldn’t make a dent in their wallet. They just don’t want to help us. She’s always had some personal vendetta against my wife (dare I say it’s because she’s not fully white?). So I told them I was done with them, that the comments they made were disgusting and that they SHOULD be treating my wife like she’s their daughter. That this is for me as well and that it’s bullshit.

Family friends are now siding with my parents, saying that they understand why she’d pay for my sisters IVF but not mine and my wife’s. AITA for cutting them off for refusing to help us when they helped my sister? ######

Response:
 NTA
Your mother sounds horrible...
This isn't the only reason you're cutting her off. The way you describe it makes it seem like she's racist, and generally fairly heartless. Snide remarks about dead parents aren't funny. Telling you to find a wife with "working reproductive system" is abhorrent. Regardless of paying for IVF or not, if your mother is how you describe her, then cutting off her toxicity seems best.

Good luck with IVF! ######


Prompt:
Hey Reddit, I want to know if AITA for telling my mom off bcoz of her ignorance about mental issues faced by teenagers?

So this started off when I started talking about how Anorexia disorder has the highest mortality rate among all the eating disorders which affect teens and she laughed and told me that no such thing as anorexia exists and that teenagers do such things for attention seeking.

I, a generally calm person was appalled at the ignorance of my own mother.

I explained that just bcoz she did not suffer from this disorder or had a smooth sailing as a teen did not mean that everyone did. I even told her that when she was free she could check out about such things.

Then she began to say that how in this generation only such things came up because they were so disrespectful and hanging out with wrong crowd and coupled with social media they were bound to have such problems.

I then told her that Anorexia Nervosa was an old problem and that teens during her time also suffered from it.

Long story short she did believe me and we got into an argument.

So Reddit, AITA for pointing out my mom's ignorance during the argument?
Should I have kept my cool and explained her calmly about the issue and why it is important?

P. S. I am sorry for any grammatical mistakes which I may have made. ######

Response:
 NTA
Your mother reminds me of my father, I had estranged him but he kinda changed now, maybe you should be even more aggressive in your response next time. ######


Prompt:
So I'm going to be moving out of my toxic family's home later in may to a different city. My parents obviously responded poorly to my decision because they're both control freaks, and having me leave would mean they would no longer have any control over me. I made it clear that once I move I'm blocking them and cutting them off permanently.
Now today my mom decided that shes going to come to the city with me for two weeks when I move so she can "help" me.
I'm 18 and this woman still follows me to doctors appointments, the store, the gym, etc even though I ask her not to, and claims it's for "emotional suport" and shes "helping" me, even though she just creepily watches me for the most part. At doctors/dentists appointments she will talk over me, not letting me tell the doctor anything, and give all the wrong information. So I know that her "helping" is just a way of getting control over me under the guise of generosity.
Today I snapped and told her that I don't need her help, that I never asked for it, and her coming to the new place with me is just going to complicate things.
She responded by saying that I'm rude, a disrespectful and ungrateful child, saying that I never appreciate all the things that she does for me, and that she will never help me again.
AITA for not wanting her help?

Edit: You guys are right. There's a part of me that thinks that she genuinely wants to help but just doesn't know how, but reading over this thread made me realize that's not true. ######

Response:
 NTA
Your health is a very important and often personal aspect of your life. You need to feel comfortable in that office, and be able to speak freely.

Depending on where you're at, you should be able to keep her out of the doc's office easily enough, or at least keep your appointment private. If you mention to the doctor or even assistant you do not want your mother there, they should take appropriate action. Their actions can be up to and including having her removed by security. You are over 18, you have a legal right to doctor/patient confidentiality.
Even if you're under 18 (here) you have rights regarding doctor/patient confidentiality.

Curiosity though, has the doctor never "suggested" she leave if she's that much of an hindrance? Or otherwise tried to get her to keep silent/leave? Because if not, that's also a bit sloppy on their part. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.

We did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.

We wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it.

Dad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them.

Both of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it.

She never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.

I was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone.

My sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.

I’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.

On one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ######

Response:
 NTA
You're showing a united front of being supportive to your daughter and opening lines of communication in regards to her period. Good on the both of you!
P.S. Don't listen to your family, they seem like they're stuck in a shitty "periods are taboo and shameful" mindset.

Edited for spelling ######


Prompt:
I know he automatically sounds like TA, but hear me out. I may be TA.

I (30f) found out today my uncle died. My mom was trying to get a hold of him, couldn't, had police do a wellness check, and it appears he died several days ago.

My mom is beyond devastated, and I'm very sad too. My uncle had a hard life, but was a very good man. I won't bore you with the details, but between an evil ex wife and estranged children due to ex wife, he deserved more.

My bf(30 m) has been trying to be kind and supportive-- he even brought me home all my favourite food.

I had gone through facebook seeing if I could find more info on my uncle's death and only came up on my dad's Facebook. My dad died suddenly at 65 back in 2016. I loved him dearly but I hadn't seen him in 3 years as we live in different provinces... So I have a lot of guilt there. My very beloved aunt also died the night of my dad's funeral.it was a long and sad battle with cancer and I was worried she would pass away while I was burying my dad. And she did... I out while I was writing my dad's eulogy... and .It. Broke. My. Heart.

So this evening while i got teary-eyed and upset about my uncle, I said ' first my dad, then my aunt, now my uncle' to remark on the pain that their deaths caused. Other family members have died, but these ones greatly impacted me.

After saying that, my boyfriend says " ya. that's life" a little dismissively.

I snapped and said " uhhh, fucking thank you? I know that's life? But it doesnt make it any less sad".

Needless to say I got pretty short with him and told him he was being insensitive. He told me I snapped at him and he just wont say anything and will stop talking.

Now I'm grieving AND have this arguement on my hands.

AITA?

I should also note-- my bf is normally extremely kind and sweet. He's a very empathetic person. Which is why I'm wondering if IATA or if he kind of sucks for this right now. ######

Response:
 NTA
You wouldn’t have gotten short with him if he hadn’t said that. However maybe he just didn’t know what to say in the moment. Either way I’m really sorry for your loss. ######


Prompt:
I'm an amateur photographer, but hoping to make this my side gig. I am relatively good at it, even though I say so myself.

I often do shoots with people like beginning models, people who want to be actors, etc. Basically I do a shoot for free, they can use the pictures on their own website, or when sending out head shots to agents, etc.
I, on the other hand keep the copyright to those pictures. I can also use them on my website, for my portfolio - or if applicable, to exhibit them at a gallery.

Anyway, someone I used to be good friends with does cosplay and outright asked me if we could have a similar arrangement.

That sounded fun, so I did. At several occasions, several costumes. This took up many hours, and also cost me some money out of pocket for gas money to get to certain locations.

Anyway, I had a personal falling out with her, not related to the cosplay. Following that, she wants me to delete all pictures of her.

Also, her partner apparently is making a scene over me having these pictures (which, for the record, are not x-rated).

I refused, stating I put time/editing/money into it - and while I'd be willing to delete specific photo's if deemed offensive, but I'm unwilling to delete entire sets - and I still want to use them for portfolio's etc.

AITA for refusing to delete these pictures? ######

Response:
 NTA
You own the copyright of the photos as per the verbal agreement

In the future make sure there’s kinds of arrangements are in written contracts, even with friends ######


Prompt: I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ######

Response:
 NTA
You didn’t birth the kid. He’s not your responsibility. Tell your mom to figure something else out. You. Aren’t. The kids. Mom. She is. ######


Prompt: My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ######

Response:
 NTA
You did nothing wrong. Your ex may have been shaken because of how quickly you replied. I’m sure he felt like, “damn, she didn’t hesitate for even 1 millisecond. “ And that probably bruised his ego a little bit.

My analysis would be different, for example, if you responded “hell to the no.” (or something similarly snarky). Because that would have been over-the-top. But, your saying no, without delay, was in no way wrong or ass-hole-ish. What happened is that you caught him off-guard. He was expecting to hear something else. So, your “no” that was without delay, shook him up (at least a little bit).

Another consideration... Your ex may have been hoping that you guys could get back together at some point. Or even now.  And your immediate “no” was unexpected and hurtful.  In conclusion, you did nothing wrong. And therefore you’re not responsible for the pain he felt when you gave a quick no to his question. ######


Prompt: So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA
This is understandable especially since you are in the LGBTQ+ community (and even then it’s wrong to speak so badly about them). I’m glad you are giving a different perspective to your niece and nephew.
Be sure to take care of your own well being, if this is toxic to you you don’t need it in your life. ######


Prompt:
So my mom and my step-dad always had this rule "My house my rules." Of course, I never had a problem with this as a child because all I did was watch cartoons, play with my toys and do whatever a child does. But now that I've grown up, I've started to value my privacy much more. Every time I do something on my computer, my step-dad tries to sneak up on me by going outside of the room, then walk back sneakily. Obviously, I would always hear him cause he's a muscular guy who likes to stomp wherever he walks, but the idea that he would sneak to be nosey on whatever I was doing annoys me.

This happens every week with him. Also included within my privacy is the space I get. He always butts into my room without a second thought and shouts whatever he needs to say. He doesn't knock but just enters.

Then, my mom always wants to know what I do. She wants to know my secrets, she even checked through my emails and text messages. I spoke out to her about it and she got really annoyed that I did, and that I wanted to keep secrets from her and her husband. Apparently I'm just being paranoid and if I wanted to keep my privacy I should move out to another family. (I'm 14 so I don't have any money, and all my relatives are in another country.)

Am I the asshole or is it just me being entitled? ######

Response:
 NTA
They just don‘t wanna see their little sunshine growing up and getting independent.
A wish for privacy is something very normal
Your Mum kinda sucks here, looking through messages that aren’t meant for her is a total No-Go! ######


Prompt:
Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.

A clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one of them. My step-children were laughing and I admit, it was pretty funny.

I joked "Well, he's not gonna be having children anytime soon." My 11 year old asked what I meant and I was about to explain before my wife interrupted and changed the topic smoothly.

Later that evening when the kids were asleep and it was only us two, she berated me for making inappropriate jokes like that in front of children. I mentioned that normally kids their age would be beginning to learn about these sort of things and there was nothing bad in doing so anyway.

She got mad and said that that's not how she wants to raise HER kids (strong emphasis on her) and I shouldn't even begin informing them by joking about it. I got quite angry at what she had said and I reminded her that they're MY children as well and she can't just exclude me out like that.

It went back and forth like that which led to a big, nasty argument (we exchanged a few VERY NASTY words) that ended up with her crying and me feeling like a total asshole at the end of it. I tried to apologise by making her breakfast in bed but she just completely ignored me and continued to sleep, which makes me feel even more bad.

We haven't spoken to each other since. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA
That wasnt an "inappropriate joke". I was expecting it to be explicit or something.

The fact that children in grade 5 dont know where babies come from is kind of wild to me. Its best you guys explain it than have the internet misinform them and warp their perception of sex/relationships/reproduction. Maybe have a proper talk with her and calmly explain you guys are partners in raising children and say you want to tackle it as partners? Then drive the conversation to a "in your ideal world, how would the sex talk go and what would it look like". ######


Prompt:
(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)

I (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us.

I'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking "old." She has had botox/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.

Since getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles.

We argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it.

Recently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.

TL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######

Response:
 NTA
She is the one who played the game constantly needing the ego boosts.
Tell her to let it go and that you’re happy the way you are.
 But if she pulls that crap again. You’ll do it again. ######


Prompt:
For some context, my girlfriend and I have recently had a son, yay!! But every time my mom sees him she acts like he is her boy. This has been going on every time that she talks about him since he was born on March 21st. So, would I be the asshole for telling her that my son is not specifically her gradbaby, and is my and my gfs son?
Edit(adding info):
It stresses the wifey out a lot as my mom is constantly trying to take over caring of him. She is also almost constantly complaining that she doesn't get to spend much time with him as we dont leave her alone with him much. She also refers to him as "My baby".
Edit2(behavioral stuff??):
My mom is almost constantly hovering, just informed of this through wifey, and she has on a couple occasions told the wifey that she is changing his diaper wrong in a very condescending tone. Then whenever the wifey and I are trying to do something, like make him a new bottle, she will come in and pick him up then complain that we don't take care of him well or that she is the only one taking care of him. ######

Response:
 NTA
She got to raise her kids, this is your opportunity to parent.  As a grandparent she should be taking her cues from you and your wife, not giving them to you.  Asking for some room to parent isnt "taking" anything from her, and if she were to chill an iota, I bet you would both be willing to offer more.

Try the book boundaries. ######


Prompt:
So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and her birthday was almost 3 months ago. I didn’t respond and she messaged me privately asking why I haven’t sent her anything since I have cashapp. I told her I don’t get a birthday present from that side of the and don’t beg them for it way past my birthday. She then brought up the fact that I get an “extra gift” at Christmas from my uncle. Which yes is true but it’s not actually from him, it’s from my “dad” since my uncle was the one who inherited his estate after he passed. I didn’t respond and she replied that she KNOWS I have enough money to spare to send her a birthday gift. While yes I have received SOME of my inheritance my husband and I are about to close on a house and the money is going towards that and for furniture. I did not receive enough to just go around handing out money. I also know that any money she gets will be spent on drugs. She lives with her boyfriend and his family rent and bill free.
So AITA? I felt bad after it all went down but I feel like it was a low blow bringing up my dads money. ######

Response:
 NTA
She doesn’t NEED the cash, and it’s yours ######


Prompt:
I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.

We opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul. We cleared out a pile of mattress  and found the carcass of a deer in a tub-I would say based on the decomposition it had been there for about three months. The floor was covered with bits of torn insulation and mice droppings. It took two entire dumpsters to clear out the garage (a neighbor mentioned that once every two years the tenants would rent a dumpster to clean out their home-maybe around the time of scheduled visits?)

The laminated flooring in the living room was so water damaged and moldy that it was coming up with my boots as I walked across it. Every single window screen was broken and the windows were almost too dirty to see through. The entire house reeked like something died inside mixed with disease and unkempt pets; we had to make several trips outside because we couldn't handle being inside for too long. The carpets were extremely stained, matted and filled with food crumbs and the ants that were attracted to them.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
Edit: And we haven't BEEN in the basement yet. I'm scared.

I took videos and a lot of pictures, so I can provide evidence.

Honestly I feel like I WBTA if I DON'T report it, but obviously I don't know this woman or her situation, but I just can't handle the thought of those kids living like that. I also feel somewhat conflicted as this is something I learned through access of my job, but I feel like your right to privacy goes out the window when kids are involved. What do you think?

Edit: Just made the call. Social worker will be calling me soon. Thank you for speedy NTAs! ######

Response:
 NTA
Report that. Those kids can’t live like that, all you’d be doing is trying to protect them ######


Prompt:
My parents split when I was around 6ish, my dad never remarried but my mom remarried almost recently to a guy who had 3 kids who were 8, 5 and 2 and I was 7 at the time.  I don't want to fully blame my mom but she rushed things, I wasn't hot on my parents divorcing and then BAM I had a new family just like that and my dad didn't matter other than the 3 days every other week I was at his place.

I never really liked having a new family cause I had a family and it was uprooted and had a brand new one in less than 2 years.  The kids felt almost the exact same way cause their dad rushed things just as bad.  The "family" didn't blend at all, and when I turned 15 I started spending a lot of my time at my dad's.  I hold no grudge against the steps but they aren't my family and if asked they would say the same about me.  Only reason I don't live with him full time is cause its pretty bad and is literally lopsided.

I don't know what happened and he's never done this before but when I came over there he started to lecture me about the importance of "family" and that I should try to get to know my "siblings" more.  That struck a cord cause it sounds something almost exactly like what my mom would say and I told him that he was sounding like mom and left the house.  I spent the night at my friend's house before returning to my mom's.  AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA
Relationships can’t be forced. I hate when parents do this kind of stuff. It works to be counterproductive. Family relationships are important but no one is going to be super close with every single family member. It is what it is. They can’t force you to cherish a bond that was never there in the first place. ######