Prompt:
I, (23F) recently moved out of my mother’s home. 3 years ago my cousin passed away due to a heart attack. I keep a album with pictures of them and me which brings me great comfort. My mother was always bitter about me and my cousins relationship. She always throws out or gets rid of my stuff that she doesn’t like.

While i was cleaning out my things, i couldn’t find my album. I asked my Mom about its whereabouts and she said she threw it away since it was just “junk”

I. Was. Livid

I started freaking out about how it was my last part of my cousin. My cousin and I were very close, like sisters. my mother said it was just old photos and i shouldve downloaded them on my computer if i didn’t want to loose them. My mother has been doing this stuff for years and i finally reached my breaking point. I packed up everything i had and went to my new apartment. I quickly went to all the local dumps and places to see if i could find my album. I still haven’t found it yet. I dont know what to do! My mom is calling me an asshole for getting mad. I want to forgive but i can’t do this.  I later cut her off after she went on a rant to my whole family about how i’m an ungrateful bitch. she was awful to me in my youth and my cousin was my only comfort.

Reddit, AITA? I really need others input. I’m so angry and sad. Please help. ######

Response:
 NTA. Cut. Her. Off. And I mean actually cut her off. Go NC. Stop receiving her calls. Block her number. Stop visiting her. Stop letting her visit you. She's never going to respect you. This relationship will never bring you any good. You live your life. Go to therapy. Work on doing and getting better.

Edit: forgot to add NTA ######


Prompt:
Lol I know the title sounds misleading.

Anyway my mother passed away 2 years ago and I have some of her everyday wear jewelry. Some of the jewelry is old and I don't think she ever took it to get it cleaned. Recently I asked my dad if he could go get it cleaned for me but he's been putting it off so he never got the chance.

Today I woke up and decided to take it upon myself to look up diy cleaning solutions. The jewelry I chose to clean weren't real gold or diamonds or even expensive so I figured it was safe. I found a simple baking soda and dish wash solutions. The steps also said to use a clean, fresh toothbrush in case an old one may have unknown harsh chemicals. Well I had everything but a toothbrush so I decided to go and ask my cousin (who I live with) if she has one.

Me: "hey B, you got a toothbrush?"

B: "Sure."

Then she gave me one and made some joke about how only old ladies have spare toothbrush but she wanted to always be prepared in case someone needed. By this point she already gave me the brush and so I went to clean the jewelry.

Fast Forward and I asked her opinion like 2 times on if the jewelry looked differently to her. Finally when I went to show her the finished product, she saw the toothbrush in the solution and got mad. She asked if I used the toothbrush to clean the jewelry and I said "yeah." She said she would've just given me an old one, but I said I couldn't use an old one for the reason above. Then she said "what if someone spends the night and actually needed to use it to brush their teeth?" By this point I'm kind of "???" because she also told me she literally has multiple packs of toothbrushes just in case. Eventually I told her I'll just buy another one for her and she's basically been ignoring me.

I mean of course I'll buy her another one, they're the cheap ones so it's literally 75 cents at most. But I was just wondering if I'm TA for not specifically telling her what the toothbrush was for? ######

Response: NTA. Cousin is being petty about how you used a cheap toothbrush. Buy her another 75c toothbrush and be done. ######


Prompt:
To understand the full story you will need some key information about my life. At a young age my parents were divorced,and my oldest sibling is a trans female.

I just finished my school year and to celebrate me and my friends decided to dye our hair. My mother was completely fine with it but suggested I asked my dad first.

Here’s how to conversation went.
D=Dad
M=Mom
OP:Me

OP:(over Text Message) Hey, can I dye my hair,Momma said it was fine but wanted me to ask you first.

D: What Color and your whole head?

OP:Red and probably not, I only have half a bottle of dye.

D:I’m thinking you shouldn’t unless you’re gay.

Now when he said that I was in complete shock and went to my mom for her advice on what to do, she was outraged as her oldest child is part of the lgbt community . She suggested that we dye my hair anyways to prove a point.

When I went to visit my dad he grounded me and took my phone for breaking his rules, and has said that he won’t take me anywhere because I’m a embarrassment to him. Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Cool, don’t go anywhere with him. He’s an embarrassment to YOU. ######


Prompt:
I am (17F) and I am 173 (5'8) cm and I weigh about 68 kgs (150 pounds). I have struggled with body image issues throughout my life.

My mom cares about my health a lot and has been telling me to lose weight for the past year. First it was mild but now it has become slightly overbearing as she tells me to watch what I eat all the time. I understand, really. Her concern is natural.

I used to go running before but since I can't really do that these days, I am exercising at home. To be honest, our home is not very big and there's not much space so the exercise isn't very fruitful so I decided to follow a diet too.

Normally my mom makes easy to make food which isn't always very healthy as she doesn't really like putting too much effort into our food. Which I was fine with.

Now, my mom flat out refused to cook some healthy alternatives for me as she says that there is no need for me to go on a diet if I just exercise enough. I told her that the exercise isn't being really helpful to me.

Mom said that she can't cook extra healthy food for me as it would be too much work for her. Then I suggested that she can cook the healthy meal for both of us. She flat out refused and said that I was the one who needed to lose weight, not her.

Finally I decided that I should make my own food. My mother said that I have never been near the stove my entire life and that I'll burn the house down. She says if I just exercise enough then I won't have to go on a diet.

Yesterday i refused to eat the food made by her and instead made myself some salad. My mother feels insulted and says that I am being disrespectful.

Am I really being disrespectful?

AITA for making my own food when Mom told me not to? ######

Response: NTA. Cooking is a life skill you should be learning. Your mom is also wrong - if you consume more calories than you use that causes weight gain. Diet is a huge factor, exercise is important too but a lot of it is diet. ######


Prompt:
Hi! Second time posting here.

Okay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.

My sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not  INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following.

A few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated.

I've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)

I feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ######

Response: NTA. Contact Facebook and get the videos taken down. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 & 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc.

However, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months..

When I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day.

She got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) & she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway.

So, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts?

LSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ######

Response: NTA. considering the frequency of her asking you to do this and how long it takes you to do so, it’s compensation for your time. whether you’re a professional or not, you are not obligated to do any of it for free. it’s a fair price especially for how long it takes you to do their hair. ######


Prompt: My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ######

Response: NTA. Complaining about the cost of a gift you’ve chosen to buy for someone is a really shitty thing to do. ######


Prompt:
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.

I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.

As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.

I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.

As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.

Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].

WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######

Response: NTA. Communal or not, it's common courtesy to not cram most of the communal food into your gob and leave nothing, or next to nothing, for everyone else. ######


Prompt:
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.

I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.

As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.

I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.

As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.

Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].

WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######

Response: NTA. Communal food should come with the common sense that you should be reasonable about what you eat ######


Prompt:
I have a dog that has very high prey drive who chases rabbits and squirrels in my backyard. I have a privacy fence and always stand outside to supervise my dog when he goes out.

Neighbors recently moved into the house behind me and have been letting their cat roam the neighborhood. The cat has recently started coming into my fenced-in yard and it has felt comfortable getting closer and closer to my house.

I informed the neighbors that my dog has strong prey drive and could very likely seriously harm their cat. It is easy to check the for the cat during the day, however at night I'm terrified the cat could be in my yard. The cat has no fear of dogs at all it seems.

I asked the neighbors to not let their catch roam. They told me it's by fault I have an aggressive dog and I should take my dog out on a leash. I told them I have a privacy fence and it's not my problem if they choose to let their cat roam. It is also against the law in my city for domestic cats to roam.

AITA for telling them to keep their cat inside and off my property and refusing to leash my dog to take him out? ######

Response: NTA. Cite the anti-cat-roaming law. You should be safe, if your fence conforms to the city's ordinances regarding dog fencing. ######


Prompt:
So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.
My mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.
Now onto the story.

My sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning.
The problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.
I’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.
My niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.
My mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Children shouldn’t grow up in a home where they aren’t wanted. ######


Prompt: Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ######

Response: NTA. Change your own names too. F* 'em. ######


Prompt: Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care  and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her  life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######

Response: NTA. Chances are higher that there’s something wrong with your wife, and not your daughter. I think you’re setting a great example for good parenting :). ######


Prompt:
Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).

Very recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.

I told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.

The thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.

Basically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.
I know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.

TLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######

Response: NTA. Cancer is one of the few things you are free to make all about yourself. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway. On mobile.

I (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.

My sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.

My sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo/grill/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.

I told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.

My sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.

I love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA. Can’t your sister find a local park or other public space to use?

She wasn’t wrong for asking, but she’s definitely TA for demanding and name calling ######


Prompt:
AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?

This happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies.

So my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no
semen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed.

I ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Can’t believe your sister would marry that douche. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)

So due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online.

Her work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.

Lately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself).

She says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?

TL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######

Response: NTA. Can't she just tap you on the shoulder or something before talking to you? It seems unreasonable that you should be forced to listen to all her work calls, because she sometimes says something to you as well. ######


Prompt:
So my partner still brings this up on occasion and everyone seems to think it’s super crazy / mean of me, and I’m *still* not very close with the couple this involves, but I literally don’t think it’s that bad?

So three years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a road trip. We visited two of his friends along the way. They’re a couple and I’d met them twice before, but we weren’t close. The guy in the couple was my boyfriend’s college buddy.

While there, my bf broke my suitcase when he dropped it down too hard. I asked if he’d repay me for it, and college buddy jumped in and said “no, what? You’d really ask that....? that’s really rude. He shouldn’t pay you anything, it was an accident.”

I’m a frustrated crier so I got a little teary eyed and went upstairs. My boyfriend didn’t agree with college buddy, he said since he’d broken it he’d just buy me a new one, so it worked out fine— but the next day when I came downstairs the three of them were having breakfast.

The girl goes “hey, feeling better?” I said yeah, I feel fine. She goes “oh good, the crying was a little melodramatic, we’re all glad that’s over!” And they all laughed. I flatly said “Well, that was an inappropriate thing to say.”

It got a little awkward for a few minutes but it blew over. Later as we were leaving she came up to me semi-privately and said “hey I’m sorry, I just tend to be very honest with my good friends” and I said in genuine surprise, “okay? But we aren’t friends. I’ve met you three times.” She looked absolutely shell-shocked and said “wow, that was pretty rude. All when I was trying to apologize, too.” I said “I’m not trying to be mean. You and I are not friends.”

My boyfriend thought it was hilarious in a shocking way that I’d “actually say that to her”. He maintains its the most blatantly rude thing he’s ever seen me do. Apparently it’s a “southern thing” to just call every person you meet a friend, and by saying she wasn’t my friend i basically declared her my mortal enemy.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Calling you dramatic for crying was rude honestly, and I agree that with the few times you met you probably were not close friends, so of course you could feel offended by her making fun of you, and in front of the guys too. It was also rude of her bf to comment on you asking for your bf to replace the suitcase. Your bf didn't have a problem with it, and even if he did, it isn't the other couple's business when *they are only acquaintances, not close friends with you*. ######


Prompt:
My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her.

My cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I  complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook.

Am I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ######

Response: NTA. Calling people out on bullshit is usually the right move, and you weren’t a dick about it. ######


Prompt:
They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.

So they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.

So I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were "too nice to say anything."

I just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ######

Response: NTA. Call the cops next time it happens. ######


Prompt:
I live in a pretty good neighborhood, all is well and the neighbors are chill except for my next door ones. They are an autistic family (not using this against them, just for details) and they have to stay home all day so they often go out into their yard, which is right next to my house which is placed farther back than theirs.
Today I had my small white bird outside and it was pretty hot, so I offered him a strawberry and some of it stained his feathers. Their youngest child saw my birds feathers stained red around the mouth and ran to the father, who immediately ran over and started screaming at me and saying I was scaring his child, that I was “promoting violence”. I was confused so I had asked him what he meant and he said “Your bird looks disturbing” to which I responded that he’d just had a strawberry. The father said “Well you shouldn’t have your bird out near my kids”. (I was on MY property. He was the one attempting to climb the fence). AITA??? My bird is small and harmless.
Edit: For background info (because I know this sounds bizarre) the family (mostly the father) likes to accuse myself and my family of trying to harm their kids
(Ex: told kid to stop running in front of our car when we pulled out, father insisted we were threatening to run over his kids,  mother instructed her child to run up to our elderly family member in attempt to touch her, we told the parent to make sure their children were keeping distance (covid) and she told us we were being prejudiced against autistic people) ######

Response: NTA. Call the cops and get these interactions on record. Later with enough evidence you can make a case and get a no contact order. ######


Prompt: So hear me(M37) out here on this issue with a family member. My wife and I have two kids who are 2 and under. This family member has the same thing but one of her kid has some health issues. Their little girl has a G-tube and some breathing problems that seems to be getting better. Every time my wife and I do stuff with our kids and wife posts it on social media, family member would comment with stuff like: " Imagine doing that with two kids and one with issues" or "Try getting out of the house in the morning with the oxygen tank, etc..." Or if we are together and kid is doing something that her other one can't she'll mention "Could we not have your kid do that so that mine won't want to do it?" I think the other day was the last straw because my wife posted a picture of our kids at my parent's house with their Grandma because we both had to work(no WFH option for us) and she made a post about how because her kid has health issues and can't see their grandparents (because of what's happening) so people shouldn't be posting things like that. It feels like she's using her kid's health problems to make backhanded comments or us feel bad about doing things. So Reddit, WIBTA if I call her out on that? ######

Response: NTA. CALL HER OUT. My son has limitations but I'd never use them to shame anyone else. If they need help they can ask for it but it's not free reign to be an ahole. ######


Prompt:
Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.

So, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (who we'll call Laura) wedding. Its in India so I pack mostly saris, lehengas and one maxi gown with stockings. (There are a lot of events: mehendi, haldi, thaledivasum, madhereveppu, wedding rehearsal, after party, evening party, two receptions, the ceremony, etc)
So for the haldi, I'm wearing a yellow net sari, which mostly everyone wears for haldi (because they smear turmeric on the bride and the women)
To my shock, the guests were mostly American women wearing short dresses. The bride pulls me aside and asks me to change because she felt MY dress was too gaudy, and hands me a short dress with a diamond pattern. See, I wouldn't have been averse to changing if she had given me a longer dress, but she gave a mini dress which showed off my legs, which were covered in scars, scales, scratches, etc. So, I refused, but I told her that if she could find me a longer dress I would change. She told me I was a bitch for dressing up like that for a haldi, as it obviously was too extravagant for small events.
I left, and that night I was called by a lot of the bride's family members and friends (don't know how they got my number) and told me I was an asshole and things like that because I wouldn't change after the bride had very politely given me a dress and asked me to change, and accused me of trying to upstage her.
So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. By American standards, saris are pretty extravagant dresses, but she should've put some thought into Indian heritage if she was holding an Indian wedding in India... ######


Prompt:
I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight.

I got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.

The only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.

I've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible.

My friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because "I'll look so much better than her". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ######

Response:
 NTA. But, I'm going to ask you to consider how you speak about your body. I have 34H breasts, naturally, and I'm not much bigger than you weight wise. I'm also very petite and short. So this statement was a bit rough to read:

>I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible.

This is a big change for you, I get that. But try to be kind to yourself. ######


Prompt:
So my friend rents a room in my house. The woman he had slept with a few times calls him up and says she just found out she's four months pregnant.

He very suddenly moved her into his room. They go to PP to get an abortion and she tells him she got an ultrasound and she is actually 7 months and can't get an abortion.

Here are some red flags:

She showed up when she was getting evicted from her place.

She has no job and no car.

She holds her stomach area, not her uterus area.

As soon as she was told she's pregnant she started having morning sickness. (3rd trimester)

No one has seen any pregnancy test or the ultrasound.

She looks incredibly small for someone who wasn't exactly skinny before.

Doesn't waddle.

Doesn't look remotely uncomfortable.

Refuses to take prenatal vitamins because she said they'll make her fat.

Hasn't seen a doctor yet.

She takes his money and goes shopping all day.

Am I the asshole for asking for proof that she's pregnant before letting her stay here?

I feel like my friend is being taken advantage of here. I don't agree with her decision to not give the baby up for adoption*, but I want to be supportive.

*to be clear neither one of them want the baby at all, but she is benefitting from keeping it. ######

Response: NTA. But, are you ready to have a couple and an infant living with you? The dynamic is about to change drastically, if she isn’t lying. You’d have every right to ask them to find a new place, say within a month. I understand your concern as that is your friend. Not showing the ultrasound to the father... biggest red flag. Not wanting to take prenatals is ridiculous. The baby is sucking everything it needs from you, those are just to replenish that and make sure you have everything the baby needs. They do not make you fat. ######


Prompt:
Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well.  My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility.

Anyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. But your sister is behaving like one, with no empathy for your grief. Beloved pets are important to the owner and their loss can be a deep grief. I'm sending you compassion from afar. ######


Prompt:
We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him.

I want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours.

I tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute.

He says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me.

He says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ######

Response: NTA. But you should seriously start a plan to leave. ######


Prompt:
To paint the picture it's a first generation ipad, which basically has no support for any of their apps anymore including YouTube and most of the app-store apps. The main thing that they can be used for is internet surfing but even then they don't have much proccessing power to load modern websites which take so much power.

I made a reference to this in the description saying that people think they are bricks in 2020 but ive been using it for Spotify which is pre-downloaded. It's not like I'm selling a broken iPad. It can be used as a music hub or even something for a computer enthusiast to jailbreak or whatever they want.

The seller is requesting a return of the item based upon the fact that she can't run YouTube on safari and so they have decided it's broken.

I have tried to explain that if they had done the slightest bit of research on google then they'd have found that they should be buying atleast the second generation iPad which still supports YouTube. I've also offered to send her links to the huge amount of videos on YouTube which go over what they can still be used for and what they can't be used for.

If the response is NTA Ill continue to stand my ground, but I'm being the asshole then I'll issue the refund. I need all of your opinions please ######

Response: NTA. but you should check eBay's rules about return of products, I know that some selling sites have as a rule that the buyer can return after regretted the purchase. ######


Prompt:
My older brother (40’s) is an artist and is a cartoonist that used to do a lot of stuff for nickelodeon and similar back in the day.

He’s made ok money from it (defo not rich or famous) but my Asian dad act like he’s gods gift and so he has this really irritating habit of playing up the fact he’s a cartoonist because our parents bust it out like he’s some rare Picasso.

Anyway I have a journal that I use for weekly planning but it has a space opposite each page that you can use to either junk journal, craft, add to do notes, whatever.

I don’t especially have anything private in there and it sits in my purse which is always open since it doesn’t have a zip.

My bro decided to pluck out my journal because my mom was bragging that I do little sketches sometimes in there and he decided to do a watercolor painting in my journal on a random page of fucking spongebob of all the things which DOES NOT fit the aesthetic of my journal at all.

I didn’t know this happened and when I came down to eat noticed only cuz my journal was open drying. I was like wtf.

I grew irritated only cuz I spend a lot of money buying sticker kits for my journal and this dumb painting is really wtf. I asked him to reimburse me for ruining my journal as I don’t consider it art and he laughed at me and told me to get over myself in the most smug way possible.

I called him a cunt and my dad immediately started yelling at me and it sparked a big argument. Thankfully my mom was on my side but she too thinks I’m making a big deal of this.

Btw I’m a teenager, my bro is my dads from my first marriage if anyone is wondering. ######

Response: NTA. But you need to learn better interpersonal skills and how to voice and communicate displeasure in a more adult way. Since you’re not an adult yet, you’re NTA but hopefully you start looking into improving these things. ######


Prompt: My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the "plandemic" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other "conspiracy" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: Nta. But you didn't have to tell her it was you ######


Prompt:
AITA

Two years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######

Response: NTA. But you ain’t never seeing that money :/ ######


Prompt:
I'll keep this short and use fake names. Also I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize in advance for any mistake.

Lily Jones (F27) is my best friend since pre-school. I've known her family since I was 5 years old. Her mom Linda (F51), her dad Joe (F53) and her two younger siblings. As far as I knew her parents were happily married and Lily adores both of them. Joe is a professor in a university.

A couple of days ago, a co-worker (F32) put a picture of her and her parents in her whatsapp status with a short message about being her parents wedding anniversary. I was surprise to see that was Joe, aka Lily's dad but the wife in the picture was not Linda. I thought this may be a mistake, or just someone who looked an awful lot like him. So I message my co-worker and asked something like "Your dad looks familiar, by any chance is he professor Joe Jones that works in x university, I think I attended one of his conferences" and she confirmed it.

As far as I know (and I've known her since I was 5) Lily doesn't know she has any older sister or that her dad has any other family. And as far as I know her parents are married, so I'm really confused right now.

I screenshot the conversation with my co-worker and her whatsapp status but I've been on the fence about sending this to Lily. Would I be the asshole if I send her this? ######

Response: NTA. But talk to the coworker as well. See if she knows to she deserves to know just as much, and if you can offer to get them together if they both want it. I have a brother who has no idea I'm his sister, and a sister I've never met, both suck. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.

I'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it.

My mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ######

Response:
 NTA. But speak to your dad and tell him that you would like to keep the items you want to pass on, and let him give anything you don’t want to his stepkids.

If you hide things you don’t even want then that’d be you being TA. ######


Prompt:
This happened last year but I always wondered if I was TA.

so my dad has three girls (at the time we were 17,15,11) and his wife has three boys (they were 8,12,14) and we lived together in a big house until we moved to a smaller one because rent.

The house has a master room for the parents  and four bedrooms  so me and my sisters got two rooms and the boys got the other two (bigger) rooms because they live with their mother full time and my sisters and I are in shared custody.

when we went to see the house I found out me designated room was the one used as a storage  and it was so small my little sister (15f) couldn't sleep there because she had an adult sized bed and it wouldn't fit. I complained to my dad that my room was the smallest despite the fact I am the oldest child and I spend more time in my room then anyone else. I also complained that my sisters (15,11) had to share a rather small room and that he shouldn't have sighed a contract before making sure the house had enough room for all the children.  my dad's wife told me I was ruining the mood because the whole point of seeing the house was to be happy about how pretty it was and that I was the only one complaining. I know I have the right to feel what I feel  but since they already sighed the contract  and there was no way to change the situation I was ruining her mood.

AITA?

If anyone is concerned I solved the situation. I used the move as an excuse to go live with my mom( something I wanted to do anyway) so now (11f) has "my" room and 15f has the normal room. I sleep in 15f's room in my childhood bed every other weekend. 14M has his own room and his little brothers don't  mind sharing a room (their words not mine) ######

Response: NTA. But seriously, the ONLY thing that could have made this any better is if you and the oldest step brother built a house of cards for dibs on the attic. (I may be showing my age a bit with that remark) ######


Prompt:
Just some background, I belong to a low-income family so it took me a lot of hard work to earn a laptop. It’s the only thing that I use for school as all my notes are in there. Especially now that we have a crisis, it’s gonna be hard to buy a new one if I ever break or lose my laptop.

Recently, my sister accidentally broke her chromebook that she’s been using for school. We have no way to have it fixed because of the situation. She’s been known to accidentally break things (her charger, bike, etc) because of her carelessness. The only other device that she has is her iPad but she complains that it’s too small to do her homework. So, my dad asked if my sis could borrow my laptop. I said no because i’m scared she might break it, but my dad got mad because he couldn’t afford to buy her a new chromebook yet. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. But PLEASE back up all of your documents to the cloud. Don’t want the entitlement to end up with you losing all of your work.

Also, IPad keyboards are pretty cheap. I have one from Logitech that I got for my iPad 2 (or whatever it’s called— it’s old) that I’ve had for over 8yrs with no issues. I recently got a newer iPad and got a keyboard: even with the fancy swivel option it was still around $50 iirc.

The keyboards work well. I used the iPad and Logitech keyboard for years of community college note taking. Mine had a magnet edge that snapped onto the iPad and acted as a case. I could stand the iPad up in a groove on the keyboard. ######


Prompt:
My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats. I have had this cat for 7 years. At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn't sneak up to play with me or something like that. Long story short, she couldn't take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn't come to my place again if I didnt get rid of my cat. We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.,

I don't want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up ..Now I feel like shit for ruining my relationship. AITA?

[Kitty](https://i.imgur.com/oBgaopm.jpg) not knowing what is going on :(

EDIT1:
 HOLLY CRAP! I didn't expect this amount of response! Thank you everyone for taking the time and leave your comment. It is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn't work or go the way we want and that is fine, that is life. It is harder when feelings are involved.  ######

Response: NTA. But personally if I had to choose between a pet of 7 years or a girl I’m choosing the pet 10/10 times. ######


Prompt:
I'm a trust fund child. My father is extremely well off and a complete narcissist.

My mother died when I was young. I was raised by my maternal grandparents as my father wanted nothing to do with me. He would show up for a week or two at a time, set me up with money and told me constantly how he wished I hadn't been born.

So there's that.

Anyways a year ago I was contacted by this girl in her late teens claiming to be my half-sister and that she was reaching out because she wanted to get to know me.

Now I was skeptical and asked for proof and she sent me pictures of her and my father at various ages. She seemed to have a really good childhood and if I didn't know better I'd say it wasn't even the same man.

I asked for a DNA test just to be safe and it confirmed we are related.

She kept talking about how she knew she had a sister somewhere and how amazing her childhood was and I just started to hate her.

She had a family. She got to do ballet and take voice lessons and she went to a top school for theatre. She went to a fancy private school and was captain of the girls *fencing* team. She had people do her hair and makeup for special events because she could.

My family was dirt fucking poor and I refused to touch my father's money for a long time.

Her father loved her and I got "here's a couple million, see you next year" from him.

Now she wants to meet me because we're "family" and I told her no. I told her we're not family and that we share blood and that was it. We had nothing in common and we clearly had different parents.

She's upset because I'm being cold to her and my father changed the terms of my trust so now I can't claim any more of the assets until I meet with her.

AITA? Should I meet with her?

The money isn't important at this point, I am already set for life. ######

Response: NTA. But personally I would want to meet her and share your story, with the intention to expose the type of person your father really is. You’ll have access to your trust again (don’t forget to mention to her how you’re father changed the terms of your trust) and how she views her  father will never be the same. ######


Prompt: So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. But label it as yours first...put “for wowlookatthatpickle only”on it so that it’s clear. Then if she wants to try to penalize you somehow because she got sick she has to admit to ingesting your clearly labeled personal property. ######


Prompt:
I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home.

This evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend.  This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ######

Response: NTA. But I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to find a reason to target you and get your mom on his side, and make your life worse. Defending yourself by proving a point isn’t an asshole move. ######


Prompt:
I occasionally buy an ice cream that's about double the cost of regular ice cream. It has more rich, creamy texture and is by far my favorite. My wife has some significantly younger siblings and cousins who are at our house fairly often (6-7 year olds). I don't want them to eat the expensive stuff because they would be just as happy with a cheap or store brand version of the same flavor. My wife gets irritated by it occasionally, but I dont think the kids can tell the difference.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. But I'd always keep some of the cheap stuff on tap for the kids. ######


Prompt:
Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job

(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it)

Am I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######

Response: NTA. But I would be suspicious of him. He sounds incredibly angry and spiteful that you put up a lock on your own door. That is not a normal reaction, it's a very glaring overreaction. It sounds like he's really angry and that you've inconvenienced him in some way. I wonder why this bothers him so much and what plans he actually had that you've now foiled. Because it is your own property and your boundary and your door. He has nothing to do with your room-- unless he does and this messes things up. ######


Prompt:
My SO has two kids and I’ve been with him for 3 years.  Recently moved in with him back in January.  Before I moved in I had a lot more time to myself and got really into an online game that has a commitment to be online and play with a group of people 2 days a week.  My real life friends play this game, which is how we spend time together these days.

My SO hates that I game.  Sometimes he is chill with it, but times like yesterday where I played an extra hour Monday night when he was going to bed (he sleeps at 8 PM) or if he’s just in a bad mood he starts making comments about how I’m “cracked out on games” or that games are obviously more important than him and nothing gets done around the house unless he does it (he was upset his kids made messes around the house), or that I put a group of random dudes over him.  He also said that he might as well go out to a bar and hang out with a bunch of chicks because it’s the same thing.

I pretty much refuse to stop gaming at this point as this is my major point of contact with my friends (we live far away and we have shelter in place).  I’ve cut down time significantly already to 2-3 hours in the evening 2 days a week. Everything else I do with him 100% - I have no other hobbies outside of this relationship.  I also pay 3/4 of the rent, work full time (although I work from home and he has to physically work 12 hrs a day), cook every night and do some of the cleaning, although most of the cleaning is admittedly on him (laundry/mopping/dishes).  I help his older kid with homework every day he is here and have been the primary driver of making sure his kids are behaving, going to bed on time, etc.

I feel like I have a right to have some “me time” a couple hours a night for a couple days a week.  So AITA for refusing to give up gaming? ######

Response: NTA. But I do have to point out that this being an issue is a huge red flag. Two evenings a week of gaming is not excessive. If your SO is this jealous of your time you may want to rethink your living situation. He sounds very controlling and could just get worse with time. ######


Prompt: I was just fired from my job that ha given me a company phone. I was not given a chance to remove personal information like passwords and personal accounts off of it. It also had text messages from company contacts and workers. After 12 hours I did a remote erase of the phone being that I still had access to it via find my device. Ex employer confronted me about it and is super pissed. I brought up that the last person fired (for completely different reasons) didn't have the intelligence to erase her phone so the owner and his wife went thru all of her personal stuff on her phone and to my knowledge still do because she hasn't changed her FB password? There were a couple other things that he was acting about ( he saw me pull into a gas station, he doesn't have my new phone number) that irrelevant to this question. ######

Response: NTA. But dude, come on. Don't put FB and stuff like that on work phones. Assuming they have been set up to do so, they can monitor your phone at all times; wiping it when you no longer work for them is too late. ######


Prompt:
Hi Reddit,

I know the title sounds crazy but I just want to know if I’m in the right or wrong.

A couple of months ago, My ex girlfriend came to visit me while I was sick at home. We had been in the breaking up stage for months, with no end in sight <she did not want to let go>. I had moved on emotionally and really wanted nothing to do with her. Ex girlfriend comes to my house, without notice, and proceeds to talk about nonsense and why do I want to leave her, and me being sick and not wanting any drama, asks her to leave. She refuses to leave and i let her know that if she doesn’t leave I will call the police. After that she locks herself in my room, and I proceeded to call. Cops arrive and remove her, but she claims she came to pick up some items (false).

Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. But don't let her into the home, man. Stay healthy! ######


Prompt: This happened years ago.  A friend (22F) asked me (22F) to go on a group camping trip shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up.  I agreed to go, and she paid for the camping site.  I found out afterwards that everyone else going was dating each other...four couples and myself.  She said that I would have to bring my own tent and sleep alone and could join the others in the daytime.  I gave her my part of the money for camping but told her I would not be going on the camping trip to be a ninth wheel immediately after a breakup because it made me feel really awkward and rubbed in the feeling that I was alone, but that I appreciated the invitation and would go camping with her another time.  She was very upset and said that I had promised to go, which is true, but it was not quite a 'group of friends' event, it was a couples camping trip...with me as the awkward ninth wheel.  So tell me, Reddit, AITA for backing out of a camping trip that I had promised to go on, because the trip was a different group than I expected? ######

Response:
 NTA. But did she explain why she was so upset that you felt the need to write a post?

Sure, you pulled out. But you paid your bit and there were 7 other people on the trip she was hanging out with ######


Prompt: Here's the situation. I've been living in this shared apartment with 2 other poeple for 3 years now. The other two havent always been the same two people but keep constantly changing like every 6-12 months. So I'm not really building a relationship with them here. And for 3 years I've been living there I've bought/brought almost every necessity there can be and I never charged any of the others for it. Practically 95% of the kitchen tools and whatnot is from me. Be it pans, pots, knives, mixers, even a freezer, its all mine. And I plan on taking everything with me when I move in with my gf sometime soon, like in 1-2 years. I paid for it, so why shouldn't I take it? I'm definitely planning on doing so but 10% of me still feels kind of bad to let the other 2 people, whoever they may be until then, sit there with just one shitty ass old pot and no kitchen machines (toaster, mixer, microwave). ######

Response: Nta. But be straight up with your current/future roommates about your plan so they can make preparations. Its your stuff. ######


Prompt:
I saw a post really similar to this, and everyone was calling the OP an asshole so I wanted to see if I was also an asshole.

About seventeen years ago, I found out that my daughter, who was then nineteen, was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. Of course she was in University and did not want children but my husband and I asked if she would be okay with us raising the kids and she said yes.

Unfortunately, during the pregnancy she cut us off. To this day I don't know why, but we didn't see her for about a year, until we got a call one night saying she had overdosed and asking us to come pick up the babies, who for the purposes of this post, I will call Liam and Faith.

My daughter passed, and she left two three month old babies. My husband and I took custody of and eventually adopted them, but their names were horrible.

The boy's name was Liam Pippin Smoke, and the girl's name was Indica Dreamcatcher Faith.

We have no idea where she got those names from, immediately after taking custody of them, we began calling them Liam and Faith. After we adopted them, we legally dropped the other names.

The kids are sixteen now, and they still don't know that they used to have other names. I told this story to a friend of mine, who also adopted a child with a ridiculous name, and she said I was horrible. She said I should have just left Liam's name alone, and just switched the placement of Indica and Faith. She said that middle names are rarely used anyway, and that I cut off all connection they had to their mother.

Personally, I would never want to saddle a child with a middle name like Indica or Smoke, but I do feel like I might be in the wrong here. My daughter picked these name, and sometimes I feel wrong for changing them.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Burdening a child with a name explicitly linked to drug use is terrible on the mother’s part, and could potentially have serious repercussions.

You kept the original names to a point, just removed the frankly inappropriate parts. That’s totally okay. ######


Prompt:
My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything.

I visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something.

I came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was  14 and my brother was 22.

I was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me.

I’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ######

Response: NTA. Brother's a groomer. ######


Prompt: So recently, I moved out of the state to start a new job. My gf who I had been with for about a year, decided to follow me a few months later. She had assumed that I would get rid of the dog when she moved in, but I had no plans to. She gets weirdly jealous of the dog, and is insistent that she is in her cage whenever I am not directly petty or playing with it. She also thinks it is okay to yell at the dog for no reason when it is being well behaved. At this point I’m ready to call the relationship quits because I can’t stand the way she treats my dog. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Break up with her. Assuming you'd get rid of your dog for her without even talking to you about it is a huge red flag, and keeping a dog caged 24/7 unless you're actively interacting with it is abusive and something that you as its owner have a responsibility to put a stop to. ######


Prompt:
AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?

My childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist.

We normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore.

We still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt.

I eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”.

Then I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable.

She cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######

Response: NTA. Boundaries are healthy in any relationship. You're not a therapist and even if you were you wouldn't owe her every ounce of your time and energy. ######


Prompt: I have a pair of leopard print vans I don’t wear much but they are new, I let my mum wear them because it matches with her cougar style lol but today it’s her birthday and I spotted her wearing my vans without socks I asked her to put socks on because they were my shoes and I didn’t want them to smell, now she is yelling at me and super annoyed, threatening to kick me out, saying I’m ruining her birthday and she gives everything to us and that I’m selfish. I’m shocked but also kinda feel bad now because it’s her birthday but who wants smelly shoes? ######

Response: NTA. Borrowed shoes should always be worn with socks. ######


Prompt: My car has a small Blue Lives Matter flag sticker on the back window, since the car used to be my mom’s and she put it on before she got a new car and gave her old one to me. I have never personally agreed with the ideas behind Blue Lives Matter, but I kept the sticker up because my stepdad is a police officer and my mom would be upset if I took it off. However, everything going on with police brutality lately has really made me uncomfortable having the sticker on my car. WIBTA for wanting to take off the sticker, even if my stepdad is a police officer? ######

Response: NTA. Blue lives matter is a really specifical movement that has a lot of really negative and racist undertones. If you dont agree with it take it off. Its your car now. ######


Prompt:
So I (m33) met my wife (f34) 10 years ago in high school via a friend. She introduced me to Fleetwood Mac, and one of my favorite songs is "black magic woman" and as a cute nickname, i started calling her that.. She thought it was funny, and it's been a cute little inside joke between us.
She's half Colombian, Half Jamaican, but I never really thought of her skin color when I started calling her that.
Yesterday, me, her and her high school friend she hadn't seen in many years were hanging out at home. They were catching up on each other's lives, and I was just watching TV. She suddenly stood up and went to the kitchen and asked us if we wanted to have tea. I said "sure, black magic woman!" to her as she laughed a little.
When she had gone to the kitchen, her friend angry and offended accused me of racism and called me a dickhead. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Black woman here. Even without the context of the song it’s not racist. She is black. She is in fact a magic woman. These are definitely touchy times right now. But nothing you said is offensive. Atleast not to me personally. I could see how it could be problematic but it’s not racist.

Maybe in the future you could just say “magic woman” and between you two the rest of the joke is inferred.

Also you should just double check in with her about her feelings. A little extra communication never hurt anyone. ######


Prompt:
I'm new to this so I'm just going to apologise now if I'm doing it wrong, sorry!

I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and I was talking to my SO about the labour and how I hope things go smoothly because they didn't last time and I'm quite terrified. A bit of background my son was prem, it was a very difficult and traumatising birth. He spent 4 weeks in the SCBU ward.

I've been reading up on things to try and make it a positive experience this time around and although I know you can't control how labour goes one of the things was to make it as different as possible to your last birth. So I listed to my partner what things I can have different this time and not having a student midwife there was one of them.

With my labour it turned into a ventouse delivery because they needed to get him out ASAP and they asked if it would be okay if the student midwife watched because he'd never witnessed one of those births before. I agreed but mainly I think because I was in so much pain and on a lot of drugs.

So this time I've said I don't want anyone there who doesn't need to be there and my SO said that would be unfair of me because I could be the reason this person takes longer to pass? (we're not so sure how becoming a qualified midwife works so we we're just guessing). I understand what he's saying but I just don't want to have anything the same as last time if I can help it. SO said he'll support me whatever as I'm the one giving birth but I've thought about it and I'm now worried AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Birth is not spectator sport. My daughter was premature and I gave birth at a teaching hospital. The moment my daughter was crowning, the neonatologist brought in several ob/gyn students. I was so shocked and focused on pushing my kid out, I didn't even tell them to get the fuck out.
I don't remember consenting to having students watch my birth, but in any case, no, you are not the asshole here. With my next pregnancy and birth, I totally do not want any students watching me give birth. ######


Prompt: My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######

Response: NTA. Being sick (whether it’s Covid or not, pandemic or not) is more than enough reason to bow out of an outing. Your dad could have taken everyone else instead of canceling the whole thing. ######


Prompt:
I’m 25 and have been with my SO for 2 years. I knew she was into polyamory before we started dating but agreed to be monogamous while in the relationship.

Occasionally my SO would ask me what I thought about being poly and I told her I support other people doing it but wasn’t into the idea for us. One month ago she said how it bothered her that we were monogamous and that her being poly is “just who she was.” Eventually I agreed that we could try it in the future.

Before this, she made a new friend and spent a lot of time together. Hanging out at each other’s house and talking and texting on the phone for hours. At first I was happy that she was making a friend not putting 2 and 2 together but last week she revealed that she had feelings for him and vice versa.

I know I agreed to being polyamorous but I can’t help but to feel loss. I feel like my self-defense mechanisms are going to make me stop loving her to deal with the pain of imagining her being embraced by someone else. I was also thinking that if we broke up now we could at least have our memories and be in good terms instead of developing pent up resentment and eventual hatred for an ex. If I could just press a button to be okay with all of this I would. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Being poly or open simply isn’t for everyone. It sounds like your partner either changed their mind, or bait-and-switched you. You shouldn’t have agreed if you weren’t truly comfortable. This isn’t gonna end well if you’re just doing it to make them happy. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is home right now from uni. We have a great relationship and we talk about random shit. My sister and her kids are also home right now because her appartement is getting fumigated.

To the story my daughter has known that she has fertility problems since her late teend, due to an illness. Luckily infertility and iron deficiency are the only symptoms.

We were talking while drinking a coffee in the living room where my sister was helping my niece with her homework. And I think we were talking about her last boyfriend or something and we were also watching one of those trashy shows on TV. Along the lines of 16 and pregnant. And she was like "uff imagine if I had done that to you when I was 16!" we laughed and then in a rather serious way I said "if that happened now to you tho, I would help you to raise the child no questions asked. Not even questioning who the father is". And I meant it. My daughter laughed and we moved on with our conversation.

When making dinner my sister comes to the kitchen and starts lecturing me about how I should not project my baby crazyness on my daughter. I was confused and she explained that the comment I made was hyper inappropriate specially seeing as daughter had the fertility problems. I toldy sister to keep her nose out of our business and that we have a good enough relationship that even if it was inappropriate, she would have told me herself.

Daughter is sleeping still and I just wonder if I stepped over a line. I like babies and I would like to be a grandma *some day*, but never in a thousand years would I pressure my daughter to become a mom because I want grand babies. ######

Response: NTA. Being open about this stuff is always better for everyone. You sound like a supportive person who gets that some people go through real problems and you would be there should that happen. ######


Prompt:
I was talking with my friend who is very sheltered and didn’t know there were people who weren’t straight or cis. Anyway, we were talking and at some point I said “me and my girlfriend have been dying to see each other again” and she said “I thought you hated when girls referred to there girl-friends as girlfriends?” I said, “I do but I mean she is actually my girlfriend like we are in a relationship” she was very confused and so was I, so the following conversation occurred.
K: why are you dating a girl if you’re a girl? Only males and females can be attracted to each other
Me: well no actually, men can be in romantic relationships with men and women can be in romantic relationships with women
K: that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you date someone you don’t like?
Me: well... you shouldn’t. We do like each other, that’s why we are dating. You can feel romantically attracted to the same gender. You can be gay, or bi, or pan, or poly, or omni.
K: what do all those mean and what are you and your “girl...friend”
*i explain*

2 days later
K: this is K’s parents and apparently you told our daughter about the gays.
Me: yes I did is there a problem?
K: yeah we didn’t want a corrupt gay daughter but now because of you we might not be able to fix her
Me: she isn’t gay, and she isn’t corrupt
K: we will be blocking you off of her phone now please do not speak to her at school

I feel like I did the right thing but I also feel like maybe it wasn’t my place to teach. So AITA ######

Response:
 NTA. Being homosexual is not acquired. There is this fiction that it would occur when being informed about it. That is just wrong. Sexuality is not as clear cut as the family of your friend seems to think. Homosexuality is a naturally occurring thing and nothing to be ashamed about.

Having said that I fear you will lose this friend because they consider your sexual orientation as disturbing either due to their culture or their religion. ######


Prompt:
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, and we were talking about what things we look for in a partner. She asked me if there were any things that would be dealbreakers for me, and I said smoking. My mom is a smoker and I have always hated it. Everything in our house smells like smoke and it's gross (and never goes away no matter how many times you wash your clothes/blankets), plus it gives me headaches all the time. I don't care if people smoke, that's their business, but I would NOT want to live with a smoker again and it would definitely be a dealbreaker in a relationship.

Now my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked. Which isn't even true, as I have other friends who smoke and it's fine. I just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. But my friend when and told all the rest of our friend group, and they're all angry at me! I tried to explain better, but they won't hear it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Being friends with a smoker isnt the same as dating them unless ur under the same roof.

It's like smoking is a deal breaker for u and that's okay. It's ur personal preference.

>Now my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked.

You're friend's prolly insecure and doesn't know how to handle that fact. Also, she responded poorly. ######


Prompt:
I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times.

My order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.

So, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######

Response: NTA. Being a delivery driver does not give you license to force religion on strangers. ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker, let’s call him John (28m), who has very “old fashioned” ideas about gender roles.

Today I overheard him going on and on to another coworker, let’s call her Sylvia (22f), about how her boyfriend isn’t a “real man” because he wasn’t a great conversationalist. Sylvia tries to explain that her boyfriend just isn’t very social, and he doesn’t really like social events (where everyone met). John ignores her and keeps saying that he was acting like a shy little kid, and he has a lot of growing up to do before he becomes a “real man”. Sylvia checked out of the conversation and let John go on his little rant. All og a sudden, John starts talking about it is women’s fault for men acting like children. He goes on to explain that “all women are unable to control their maternal instict”, which makes them reward immature boys with relationships so that the women have something to mother. I left the room at that point. It was too much for me to have to listen to.

Another coworker (31f) who overheard it brought up how it made her uncomfortable. I agreed, and said I was thinking of bringing it up with HR since this isn’t the first time John has been spouting this sort of stuff. My coworker told me that I would be a huge jerk if I told HR, and while it made her uncomfortable she realizes John isn’t from here (he grew up in Romania) so she manages to “get over herself”. She told me I could tuin his career, and that doing so just because his views are different is messed up. I still have a huge problem with the way he talks about gender roles, but now I’m second guessing if I should go to HR.

WIBTA if I went to HR about it? ######

Response:
 NTA. Been to Romania, know people from Romania, they don't live in sheds and drink oly goat milk, it's a modern, civilised country and his opinions would have been just as backwards in Romania. Actually excusing his behaviour because he's "from Romania" is low key racist, because you imply it's somewhat more acceptable there. Go to the HR instead of shielding him from responsibility.

ETA: Obviously "xenophobic" is a better word here. ######


Prompt:
So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well.

My wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos.

This has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand.

However when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids.

I feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Becoming adept at multiple languages helps brain development and wires your brain to be open to learning more languages in the future. I understand why your wife may feel left out, but you are really setting your children up for success, which is the point of parenting.

Show her this article by a Child Psychologist: [https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/education/article224778775.html](https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/education/article224778775.html)

If this doesn't sway her, maybe talk to your kids' teachers or pediatricians.

Edit: Just caught the kids' ages. That's even more unacceptable on her part. They SHOULD be learning more than one language and practicing. Would she feel the same way if it was Spanish?. Don't they take language classes in school? Do they not practice those at home? ######


Prompt:
AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology

So I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.

For clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.

I ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat

I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her

When we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.

I am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######

Response: NTA. Becoming a teenager in not an excuse to be a total brat. It usually has something to do with the parenting. Or in this case the lack of. ######


Prompt:
My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.

Every time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.

So the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.

He let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?

EDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ######

Response: NTA. Be sure to mention **why** you recorded the conversation due to promises being consistently broken. This isn’t a once or twice type issue ######


Prompt:
I (20F) used to dress very conservatively, I had body issues (I was 11stone at 5’6/ or almost 70kg at 1.676metres) so not really overweight but I carried it all on my stomach, I was really self conscious.

I dropped to 9stone this year and while I still have my days of being unhappy and still think of losing weight, I love my body most of the time.

I’ve started wearing dresses too, I absolutely love crop tops but never had the confidence for that.

I always ask my boyfriend for opinions on clothes, I’ve never been the best at fashion and he’s better at picking outfits than I am.

When I showed him a certain crop top he said “You’ve gone from showing nothing to everything, do what you like but be ready to get comments”

I put it off, but while shopping in town today I decided fuck it and got it, I love it and I feel so confident in it.

Now he’s upset because I asked his opinion on it and went ahead and got it knowing he isn’t comfortable with it.

He says it’s about mutual respect and that I’ve made him pass up on clothes before (cyclist shorts that were very short)
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Be ready for comments? Wtf? Is he the kind of man who thinks a woman deserves to get assaulted if she wears a short skirt? The misogyny is gross. ######