Prompt:
I'm 21 and he is 26; however, I am much further into my professional career than he is. He wanted to move it of our mothers house at the beginning of this year so I let him move in with me. The deal was he's give me 150 every check to help with rent and food and I'd cover everything else. We also said that he should be saving atleast half of the rest of his money every month so that he can get a place if his own soon.
In the last few months, he started paying me less and this month he didn't give me anything despite the fact that he is still working. He told me that since I work from home I should just work more hours and get paid more.

Yesterday, several packages came to the door for him that all together cost about $300 dollars. I told him that if he could afford to pay that he can afford a studio apartment and kicked him out.

He called our mom and she is telling me I should let him come back because he doesn't know how to be smart with money yet so we need to be patient with him.

In my opinion, he should've learned how to be smart with money a long time ago

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Best way he can learn to be smart with money is to actually need to be smart with it. ######


Prompt:
I am an atheist and my last roommate was a devout muslim. She used to be very regular with her prayers and practices and was a pleasant person to be around overall. I never interfered with her religious beliefs, and in fact, used to co-operate with her to assist her with it, eg I took down the poster of an actor near my table, since she said she couldn’t have that in the direction and same room she prayed, fasting along with her (i just did it for health reasons/fun), going with her to festival celebration events etc.
Things were fine for a while, but few months she started to berate my lifestyle as an atheist and started saying how much more meaningful life as a religious person is. May be she misunderstood my involvement with her to my interest in her religion, but she seemed to always bring the conversation to why being religious, and particularly muslim is the right way of life. Eg, getting upset if I drink, or commenting on how my dress one time was too short, or how ‘good and virtuous women’ should be covered up, or how I’m stupid to be an atheist. I guess she said all of that frankly when we were better friends. She made me grudgingly watch the movie ‘the message’ and I sat through it, and tried to ‘preach’ how good it was. Basically this preaching became a regular thing, even though I never has asked for it.
So one time when I got fed up of the religion talks, I told her off saying “ I don’t care about your religion and what it stands for, I chose to be an atheist and I don’t want you to tell how good your religion is because frankly I think all religions are baseless and so is yours. So please back off”. She seems to think my anger was misplaced and comments on her religion was uncalled for.
Since then she moved out after a few cold days, and has been telling people that I’m islamophobic. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Atheism is the belief in no God. Meaning that by trashing you for being an atheist, she is trashing your beliefs. At that point, it's fair game for you to trash her beliefs if you want. There was certainly a better way you could've said that to her, but she can't be mad when she's done the same thing to you. ######


Prompt:
This is so stupid I know, but here it goes. Background: I (27F) have wanted to get matching tattoos with my husband (33M) for years. We have been together for 9 years now. Not like each other’s names or anything crazy, but something that symbolizes our relationship. Every idea I’ve had he’s shot down, and he hasn’t put forth any ideas.

Fast forward to today, when he says that he wants to get a tattoo of a rubber duck with 2 guys that he works with. I’m sure it’s an inside joke or something. One of the guys he has known less than a year, and the other he’s worked with for a few years. So it’s not like they’re best friends or anything.

I told him it bothered me that I’ve been trying to plan a tattoo with him for years, but he decides at the drop of a hat he wants to get a random tattoo with 2 guys he really doesn’t know all that well. He got mad and said I “just don’t understand”, which apparently he’s right because I don’t. Admittedly I feel a bit left out, almost jealous.

I know that it his body, he is an adult and it is his choice. I’m not trying to tell him not to get a tattoo with them, or to force him to get just any tattoo with me. That’s ridiculous. I just wonder if I’m making something out of nothing here. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

At this point, it's not about the physical tattoo itself. It's about the principle of leading someone on about an idea they're actually passionate about. It's even worse because you're his wife and you'd expect that he'd at least be able to communicate with you if he didn't want to do the tattoo idea with you.

He doesn't sound very empathetic about how you feel to be left out of an idea that you've asked for, for so long, that he's instead executing with some people he pretty much just met. ######


Prompt:
i am a f15 and they just asked me and hour before we were meant to go.
i don’t have plans but i just finished my second week back at school and i’m exhausted- i feel bad for not wanting to do it as “ i have nothing better to do” but that’s kinda the point..
they were not planning to pay me either.
i’m not even good with kids, they just expect me to do it because i’m old enough. ######

Response:
 NTA

Asking that way is super shitty because it makes it very hard for you to say no. You are never obligated to babysit for someone you don't want to. And you s shouldn't do work for someone that's not going to pay you.

Just say no. No explanation given. No, I do not 2wnt to babysit your kids.

They're being cheap assholes. ######


Prompt:
This is my first post on this sub, however, I'm kinda nervous about posting this, since I do know that some friends have reddit and may rat me out if they ever find this...

Anyway, today is the beginning of July, meaning that my birthday falls this month. I had everything planned out for my birthday party: dates, events (which can still work out since restrictions are at ease) and most importantly, guests.

I wanted to invite a specific group of people as they are my close friends and they have been there for me for years. But do you ever have that friend that wants to go to every outing you go to and ask why they aren't invited? Those people irk me...

One of my friends found out that my birthday was this month and asked if we were going out for drinks. I told him that he wasn't invited since everything was all planned out. Other than him not being close to me, he wants me to get super drunk one night to the point where I can't walk and my liver gets fucked and perhaps want me to embarrass myself in public.

I was pretty straightforward with telling him that he wasn't one of my guests. However, other friends just ganged up against me saying that I'm dogging them.

I just felt that it is my party and I can invite who I'd like to. I just want it to be a chill party with a small group of friends and I could perhaps have a drink or two and not something super rowdy with a large group where I just can't walk the next day.

Kind of feel like the asshole, but I feel that Reddit should debate this based on my situation...

TLDR: Planned a party, friend finds out about birthday, told him that he wasn't invited, other friends accused me of "dogging the boys" ######

Response:
 NTA

As you said, it‘s your party and you decide who to invite. Also, you said that the two of you aren‘t close, plus the fact that he said he wants you to do stuff that embarasses you when drunk is a massive no go. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.

I'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted.

We've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here.

Bob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being "insubordinate" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.

Honestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

As long as you aren’t flying something like a nazi flag I don’t see what it matters what’s on your flag pole in your yard on your property. ######


Prompt:
I'm (m35) close best friends/ soul mates with this guy (M39), and we live together. We've both been friends since i was 17 and he was 22. We meet in a book club when i was in high school.

We moved in because of not many houses being avalibale and i though it was awesome to move in with my best friend. We share a bed and sometimes fuck because we both have a high libdio and have a connection. And since hes at home now, we fuck like 5 days a week and its amazing lol.He takes care of me and works a office job and i'm currently unemployed so i cook for him and do laundry etc. He treats me like a prince and protects me. He's gay, and i don't give a shit but like being taken care of. I love that i can live with my best friend, and don't have to live alone.

He has health issues (asthma, and heart disease runs in his family) and is overweight and i didn't want anything to happen to him so about a month ago we got "married" (just went to the courthouse, no wedding.) so can get my health insurance if he gets sick or i die.

I don't talk to my family, since they don't like me. I'm a athiest stoner, and the oldest son in family. My family are all italian catholics, and want me to marry a girl from another family i don't know.

one day he was going to pay the taxes before everything closes down, and i smoked a little to relax. My mother calls me, and starts talking about how i should i be thinking about babies and marriage since we're all die soon.

She doesn't know about me and his "marriage" or "relationship", and i don't want her to know.

But since i was high, i was very relaxed and stopped thinking it was my mom talking. I told her about that i got "married", and she became furious. She started talking about it's wrong or whatever. Now they won't let me talk to my lil brothers or cousins.

AITA for "marrying" my best friend? ######

Response:
 NTA

Are you sure married should be in ""? Sounds like you got a pretty good relationship. ######


Prompt:
My friend was ranting to me about his tinder experience to me, how no one responds to his messages, how his he has been ghosted in the past, women on the app only swipe right on super hot guys, etc. He is generally a laid back person so I was taken aback. I said that he displaying some incel-esque tendencies and should rethink and take better pics. He called me douche and said he could trust me.

He posted this on friend group chat and now people are calling me out. "broke the bro code", "check my privilege" amoung other messages. People are saying that he was just ranting about tinder and took it too far. According to me, my friend was blaming his lack of success on "shallow tinder girls".

Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA

App dating is a numbers game, and frankly he's picked the worse one, outside of Grindr for gender representation. It's something like for every 10 or 20 profiles that are men, there's one woman.

So yeah, women can be a lot more picky on tinder. If he wants better odds he should opt for a different one that's not primarily used for hookups. Or he better improve his profile to stand out more. ######


Prompt:
My SIL and I do not get along. Weeks prior to the wedding, I told her that she shouldn't do anything to mess up my day. My wedding has already been downsized and I'm not having it with her and her actions.

My wedding comes, I walk down the "aisle" and lo and behold, she is wearing the whitest dress I have ever seen. It's whiter than my own.

I reach the end, my family joins around me to take photos. I grab my brother and have my SIL get kicked out of the photoshoot. I made sure she isn't in any of my wedding photos.

She started crying. My other brother comes to her defense. I know for a fact she has other dresses. She claims none of them were formal enough. I would have rather her come in a halter dress than a white dress. It was dilberate and I was having none of it.

My mother said I was too harsh. Honestly, if it were up to me, she wouldn't have come to the wedding at all. My husband agrees, he knows how much of pain SIL is. The rest of my family just kept silent thank God.

Note: My family and I decided to hold my wedding at our house instead of postponing it. In my country, it's not unusual for the whole extended family to live together so we thought it was practical to just hold the wedding at home since most of the family is there. ######

Response:
 NTA

Any woman wearing white to a wedding is automatically the asshole. It's a thing. It has been for ages.

She had time to get another dress if she needed to, so she CHOSE to wear this specifically.

(EDIT: Any woman except the bride/if it's been agreed on beforehand) ######


Prompt:
Title is pretty self explanatory.

He works with men 90% of the time, but sometimes their wives come out to the property, and then he has a social worker that visits 1-2x a week, as it is an inpatient facility he works at- and she comes to do work ups on some of the patients.

Anyway- several months ago I asked about the SW. His words were “she’s fat and not attractive at all. You have nothing to worry about.”

Lo and behold, we run into this gal at the store a couple of weeks ago. She’s drop dead gorgeous, her body is a 10, and she has an infectious smile. Does he introduce me? Nope.

So after I throw a pregnant bitch fit, I finally shut up. He tells me that they’re never in his office alone, people are always around, blah blah blah.

So here we are- and he has another broad hitting him up with “time flies when you’re having fun” messages online, kissy winky faces, you name it. Once again- I ask about her.

“Oh- she’s XYZ’s wife. Nothing to worry about.”

I am firm in the belief that if you don’t set boundaries with someone- that they will try to push the line, more times than not.

It’s been 2 days, and I’m still upset. I’m pregnant, and getting bigger by the day. He blames it on my hormones, and I blame it on the fact that he won’t set any fucking boundaries in his work life, which in my mind will eventually lead to an affair- emotional or physical.

That being said- AITA for wanting him to set boundaries with these women and remind them that he is in fact- very married? ######

Response:
 NTA

And this is very telling to me:

>several months ago I asked about the SW. His words were “she’s fat and not attractive at all. You have nothing to worry about.”

If the first thing out of his mouth is "you have nothing to worry about," then you should probably start worrying.  It's like when you call your kid's name, and the first words out of their mouth are, "I didn't do it!" ######


Prompt:
My roommate got pregnant and asked me to move out so her bf could move in and they could turn my bedroom into a nursery for the baby.

That made sense to me and I had absolutely no problem moving out. My paychecks have been a little unstable anyway, so I had been using my savings to pay rent. So ending the lease early was actually really helpful for me so I can build up my savings again.

I thought I would just go live at parents house for awhile. They are staying at another house they have in different part of the country. They’ve said I can stay there for free as long as I take care of the place and do all the basic upkeep.

The plan was that I would officially move out at the end of this month.

Two weeks ago though my  roommate and her boyfriend got into a big fight and broke up. I don’t know the details. I just know that he doesn’t want to live here with her anymore.

After that my roommate asked If I wanted to stay. I said no because with a baby around the corner (her due date is in early July) I don’t think it will be a pleasant living situation. So since then she has been trying to get a new roommate by posting all over online, but so far no one contacted her about it.

Earlier today she came up to me very seriously and sort of pleaded with me to stay. She said she hasn’t been able to find anyone interested in moving in and she won’t be able to afford rent next month unless someone moves in and doesn’t know what else to do.

I totally get she is in a very tough and scary position now and I do feel sorry for her, but staying at my parents just makes more financial sense for me. It would only hurt me financially to continue to stay here and pay rent. ######

Response:
 NTA

and keep in mind, if you decided to stay for her, in 3 weeks she could turn around and tell you "hey we made up and I need you out of here so we can start our family". ######


Prompt:
Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.

Initially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.

So yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.

In that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.
Well, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.

I called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.

Everyone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA

And a funfact I learned on Youtube: Being open on winning the lottery increases your chances to get murdered/mugged drastically. Have fun with this tidbit. ######


Prompt:
This incident happened some time ago.

We’re both in university. This semester she went on exchange to Australia. She left Canada Feb 2nd, but went to her hometown on Dec 22nd after final exams because she wanted to spend that time with her family until she left. For that reason we did our Christmas gift exchange early. I got her a really nice necklace in Morse code, a designer hoodie, and a pair of Beats headphones. I ordered the beats Dec 6th but the shipping was delayed big time (I think there was a postal strike? can’t remember) and so I didn’t get the headphones in time for her to have it. When I told her that, she asked what color the headphones are and I got them in blue because that’s her favourite color. She seemed a bit disappointed and and when I asked her what’s wrong she said she’d have preferred the grey.

Fast forward a few weeks. The headphones finally came in around Jan 20th and I went to Best Buy to return them. I did this because **I found the exact same pair on Amazon, brand new, in the color she wanted, and a much cheaper price**. Plus I have Amazon prime so I had 2 day shipping. I pulled the trigger and ordered it right to her house on Jan 21st.

When I told her about this she was pissed off at me because i Didn’t disclose that I was doing all that. She was also afraid that the Beats wouldn’t come in before she left on Feb 2nd. For the life of me I still can’t understand why she was mad. I mean yeah I suppose I didn’t tell her, but I got what she wanted, for a better price. I should also note that the headphones were delivered way before she left so that wasn’t an issue but she said she still didn’t appreciate it. Was I the asshole here? I thought I was being thoughtful and now I feel a bit unappreciated. ######

Response:
 NTA

Am I understanding correctly that the reason she was upset is because she wanted the Beats that absolutely arrived on time (and you could have sent to her at her house) versus potentially NOT getting the pair you ordered from Amazon on time?

I can understand why she might be anxious about not having the headphones before her trip and maybe hoped you would send the blue pair anyway just to make sure (and let her return the ones she didn’t keep to you), but that doesn’t make you an asshole. ######


Prompt:
I'm(19f) in college and due to some circumstances I got a decent amount of money. My sister(23f) is out of college and living on her own now. She is extremely bothered that I have money. But when she asked for a small amount I gave it to her without another thought even though she still owed me money from a different time.

 I decided to build a PC with my money because I have never had a new computer before. I was excited so I talked about it with her but in no way was I doing it immodestly. This was when she told me she didn't like that I had so much money and she didn't want to talk about it or know what I'm doing with it. I told her "ok, that's fair but if you're gonna pretend the money doesnt exist then don't ask for money or borrow money from me". I also told her that I have never had a new computer before where as she has gotten 2 brand new mac books in her lifetime. She said it wasn't comparable because she got into a program in highschool so that's why she got it. She got the other laptop in college. So basically, she is saying I don't deserve new things because I never achieved the same things (that's the way I see it).

AITA for telling my sister that she shouldnt ask for money or to borrow money if she wants to pretend that it doesn't exist? ######

Response:
 NTA

Also, stop giving your sister any money, even if it's loans.  She's an adult and living on her own.  She needs to butt out of your business and take care of herself. ######


Prompt:
So before the quarantine my grandma had declared that my mom (her only child) would get all the money and property and later could decide to split between me and my sister however she wanted. I’m fine with this. I don’t really care considering I figured inheritance should always go to the next in line.

Due to this quarantine, my mom says no one can go out. My grandma, mom and sister all live under the same roof. We all have our own rooms so no one talks to each other that much. My grandma recently had a falling out with my mom because my mom refuses to do any groceries and my grandma needs food. My grandma is a vegetarian and everything my mom has made or brought is non-veg. She also never gets her prescriptions refilled on time. My grandma has to have my moms friend deliver prescriptions. My mom recently had a different falling out with this friend so now he no longer delivers my grandmas prescriptions. During this whole thing I’ve been picking up the slack, paying for and picking up meds and food for my grandma and keeping her company overall.

A couple weeks ago my grandma had it. She decided that my mom wasn’t getting the whole will and that my mom had to split it with me since I am old enough(21) and since she thinks my mom hasn’t helped at all.  After hearing about this my mom is upset with me and my grandma saying I conspired with her and that my grandma is being unfair. She says because she lets her live with us, she does enough and since she pays for essentials she’s doing enough. Again I really don’t care about the inheritance but my grandma says it’s making a statement and I guess my mom did see that I was excited to be in the will. Aita for going along with my grandma? ######

Response:
 NTA

Also, if your mum knows that Grandma is vegetarian but doesn't buy it make any vegetarian food, she's actually not trying and I'd even argue that she's doing it on purpose and then plays victim that "she tries so hard and then it's worthless".

Have a good, hard look at your mother's behaviour. Including not filling the prescriptions for Grandma on time as well. ######


Prompt: Six months ago my now boyfriend broke up with his ex and immediately started dating me. We moved in together and really started going hard in our relationship.  Throughout these past six months he has been in contact with his ex. He says it’s to make sure she’s okay and not in a horrible mindset after their breakup. He talks to her about once a week and I have tried to tell him it’s not letting her heal or get over their breakup. She has asked him multiple times if he’s currently dating anyone and he tells her no. (Trying to not hurt her feelings or self esteem.) She recently found out about me (via social media) and that we were dating and lost it. I’ve now been asked not to post anything as to keep her from being even more upset. I feel as if her emotions are being prioritized over mine? AITA for still wanting to post pictures of MY life on my social media platforms? AITA for not feeling comfortable in this situation? ######

Response:
 NTA

Also your boyfriend is definitely not over her. ######


Prompt:
Hello. I bought my parents a house and specified that it was for both of them when I was giving it to them. I told them they could either live there together, or vacation there, or visit separately, I don’t care. But I promised them both half.

I just found out that my father lives there with his mistress and my mother doesn’t know but he makes her not feel comfortable when she brings up the idea to visit. By the way, they’re still married. Would I be the asshole if I gave him a warning and if he didn’t comply, kick him out?

To specify, I STRONGLY think it would be an asshole move which is why I haven’t done it yet. But I love my mum and I think she deserves to be able to visit whenever she wants, or at least half the time. ######

Response:
 NTA

Absolutely and totally.

You have not bought the house as a love nest to your father and his mistress, you bought the house for your parents and your mother can't use it because of your asshole father. ######


Prompt:
so my whole family and my neighbours whole family are calling me rude and insensitive but i personally don't see it that way. a bit of background: currently everyone in my family works during the day so i am the only one home during the day as i work at night.

for the past week everyday my neighbours toddler aged child has come to our house and continuously banged on the door for at least 10 minutes until i get up and answer it, usually his mum will not even be with him as he has just ran out of their house or she will be at the end of the drive way, she is never actually with him at the door to stop him from banging on it, and even when i tell him my mum isn't home (thats who he wants to see) he wont stop banging, screaming or trying to come inside. usually i'll have to either let him inside to show him that no one is here or i just close the door and let him sit there screaming and crying until his mum decides to do something about it. personally if i wasn't working i wouldn't care like okay just let the kid in show him no one is home and then let him leave without a problem. but now everyday without a doubt he wakes me up and then i find it hard to go back to sleep so i'm not getting any sleep all because of this situation. i've asked nicely if the neighbour can get the kid to come down earlier in the morning so ill still be awake or in the evening so ill be up but she just says that at around midday he gets really upset from having to stay inside and he wont stop screaming until he comes down to my house, but personally i don't see why i should have to sacrifice my sleep because she cant get her kid to stop screaming unless he comes down to my house.

so AITA for being frustrated that my neighbours child bangs on our door everyday ######

Response:
 NtA

A toddler walking to your home everyday and banging on your door and screaming while the mother knowingly does nothing to stop him tells me she's a very neglectful parent. You've talked with her about it and her response is that the kid gets riled up around midday and won't stop screaming until he comes to your house. WTF? There's no middle ground here. Call CPS. ######


Prompt: Throwaway account for obvious reasons. Here’s a backstory: My brother (16M) and I (18F) have a horrible relationship. We live in the same house with my parents, and we rarely speak to each other. I’ve never ever touched any of his belongings because frankly why would I want to. He has nothing that I want to do with. Lately, he’s been touching my belongings and has went in my room twice to do God knows what. I haven’t noticed anything off in my room, however when we were younger he would tell me how he used to put deodorant (and who knows what else) on my toothbrush if I got on his nerves or made him mad. This resonates with me as he has slammed my bedroom door shut and I’ve seen him leave my room and ignore me when I ask what he wants. I’ve told my parents about this and they talked to him, but he told them I was being annoying and left. They haven’t tried again after that. So recently, I bought a keypad to hook on my door, but I told my parents to pay for it as they can’t seem teach him to respect other people’s belongings and that I shouldn’t have to resort to this if everyone just minds their own. So WIBTA for making them pay for my lock on my door? ######

Response:
 NTA

A lot of people have such an issue with how “adult children should know their place” 🙄

Look, you’re not an asshole for asking, especially since you pay rent. They also wouldn’t be assholes for saying no, although you really should have gotten them to choose the lock so it could match the door (property value).

They *are* assholes for not raising your brother better and your brother is an asshole too. ######


Prompt:
So I was randomly added to a mom group on Facebook even though I'm not a mom. I saw a bunch of these moms posting that they wanted to gather their kids together for "playdates" and their intentions are similar to that of pox parties. The idea is to build immunity.

I made a post that it is cruel to intentionally expose your kids to make them sick. I didn't expect the responses I got which were mainly along the lines of "my kid my choice" or "don't tell me how to parent my kid". I told these moms that their kids deserved better.

Then I got banned for "insulting different parenting techniques and shaming moms"

I dont think I did or said anything wrong but, at least 50 moms disagree. AITA for telling these moms not to make their kids sick? ######

Response:
 NTA

A covid19 party for kids!

FFS what is any of them had undiagnosed medical issues and died as a result.

What if the kid carried the virus to someone who was immune compromised or had underlying medical issues.

You'd be risking their lives and the lives of others. ######


Prompt:
My spouse and I have a recurring argument that revolves around their desire to have our 5 year old sleep in our bed. If it were an emergency situation, my child wasn’t feeling well or there was a severe storm or something like that I am fine with them sleeping in our bed. Also, as a compromise I let our child sleep in our bed once a week, typically on a Friday night when it isn’t a work/school night and it’s not that big a deal if we all don’t get a great night’s rest.

Lately, my spouse has been asking for our child to sleep in our bed at least one additional evening without much reasoning. I protest because I feel it’s unnecessary to disrupt our child’s sleep pattern (which is otherwise very good & normal!) and I personally do not sleep as well with less space in the bed, fighting over blankets and repeatedly getting woken up, etc. I put my foot down and refuse (at least once a week) causing a fight with my spouse who inevitably goes up to sleep with my child in their bed. They think I am controlling and think it is unfair my “vote” counts more than theirs in that I get the “final decision.” AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

A child that age should sleep by themselves but perhaps your SO is using your child as a security blanket given the current situation. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism of knowing the child is close and safe ######


Prompt:
Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today.
My partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.

Have I acted irrationally? ######

Response:
 NTA

400$ for three months is NOTHING. Make those squatters find a new place. ######


Prompt:
So my sister is 25f I am 20f, I currently go to college and my sister is a house wife.

Recently my sister found out she could not have children. For the longest time she wanted kids so I obviously felt bad for her. Well about 2 weeks ago she came to me and asked if I could be her surrogate and that she would pay for all the expenses including an apartment so I wouldn't have to live with my parents.

I told her no immediately because i'm in college and I know how my sister gets when she doesn't get her way. She basically called me a bitch and how I wasn't going to let her be a mom and other bullshit. I just told her that if she wants to be a mom, adopt a kid because there are so many children in the world that need a family. She said she didn't want a used kid she wanted someone who was related to her.

After I told this to my parents my dad was on my side completely and told me that I was too young to even be asked that question. But my mother blew up at me saying that I was a bitch because i'm preventing her and my sister for being a mother and a grandmother. I have received messages from family members and friends of my sister saying that I was being completely unreasonable and how they wouldn't talk to me again unless I apologized to my sister.

I sort of get why I could be the asshole because my sister wanted to be a mom for so long, but if I was graduated from college and at a steady place I would have said yes to her.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA

1) No doctor in their right mind would let you be a surrogate in your current situation

2) They can pay for someone else to be a surrogate if they really want it. ######


Prompt:
So a little backstory
My parents are split up but not fully divorced so they haven’t filled out all the paperwork. My dad (d) is a lawyer so he is quite well payed and and my mum (m) works in a nutrition company so she makes medium wage. Because of how boring life is right now I’m trying to save up to buy an xbox. My parents won’t let me sell any of my current items so I obviously have to do chores (I’m not old enough to get a job.) I’ve done stuff like walk my dog, clean the windows and vacuum at m’s house all for £5 or less each. D paid £10 for just the windows (£1 per window) so obviously I wanted to do the chores at his but m has a huge shed that hasn’t been entered in years! So the words m gave me were “if you can empty this shed and sort the items i will give £10” i thought this was an ok price so i cleared the shed and sorted the items (25 min work) I ask m for the money but she says not until i wash the items (the shed was filled with cobwebs and insects.) I was annoyed but i asked for the cleaning products but she said she didn’t have any. So i had to buy the hose... with the money I hadn’t earnt yet. Plus bug killer, scrubs and new bin bags! i was losing money so i said no. M then said she wasn’t paying me until i did. So i was practically paying her £2.49 to clean out, sort and wash HER shed. I have a natural phobia of bugs so I already hated it but this was ridiculous. I refused and now m has taken all the money i earnt as a punishment plus my ps3 (i prefer xbox but this was all we could get.) D is taking M’s side but I think he’s scared which I don’t blame him for. So Reddit am i the ahole? Also this is my first story on here so sorry if it isn’t good for this subreddit. ######

Response:
 NTA

1. Why the fuck you feel the need to shorten the words Mon and Dad?

2. Your mother was looking for an excuse and never meant to pay you.  The lesson you should take from it is that some people (like your Mom) will steal from you and most people (like your Dad) are too chicken/selfish   to do help.   So always have collateral/ downpayment ######


Prompt:
This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.
It was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.
My brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.
I got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.
1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me.
2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.
3. She had money for a cab
4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.
5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.
6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked.
7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.
She ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

1. Cousin doesnt drink.
2. Cousin knew I was leaving.
3. She had money for a cab.

If she knew you were leaving, she was perfectly capable of coming along if she'd wanted to. She weren't intoxicated, stranded or otherwise helpless. She's not a child.

However, your cousin is the AH for

1. Canceling on the day of
2. Showing up anyway (causing OP some embarassment for bringing too many guests)
3. After 1 and 2, apparently expecting OP to take care of her until she was safely back in bed, and stirring up drama when she had to get home on her own.

Any particular obligation you may have had for looking after your younger cousin that night disappeared when she canceled your plans. ######


Prompt:
So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating
Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today
I mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill.
I feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing.
He thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ######

Response:
 NTA

>Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today

I'm sure he'll manage to laze around fine on 3hrs of sleep. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend recently was hooked onto this stupid tiktok trend where the girl gets naked and goes up to their boyfriend while he is gaming to see what he would do.

Now she being hooked onto the trend wants me to do the same as some of the guys in the tiktoks where they immediately pause their game and jump onto their girlfriends. I play league of legends and the people who play it know that you cannot pause the game and if you AFK or leave the game you will get penalties for it.

She told me either I quit the game or i dont ever touch her again. I told her a very reasonable rule that she thinks its unreasonable with it being, I do not mind spending time with her if she wants it before i start a game for a few hours, but I do mind where she purposely wants me to quit just as I started a match as I do not want to leave in the middle of a game. However I do not mind after the game, I stop playing and spend time with her. She told me she just wants to see me want her and she doesnt care about my game and she finds it very unreasonable.

AITA for saying no I wont quit in the middle of my game? ######

Response:
 NTA

>stupid tiktok trend

couldnt have said it better myself ######


Prompt:
I am 45F and my Husband 50M has a 16-year-old son. He is a good kid, good grades, respectful, does his chores, etc. Last Summer my son said that he wanted a new computer. To his credit, he got a part-time job and saved up for it, and built a pretty nice gaming PC. We are really proud of him, as he saved for it nearly all summer.

My sister and her husband have recently moved in with us. They have a 9-year-old son. My sister has a history of IDK how to put it, being entitled. She thinks her kid can do no wrong and spoils her kid.

Well when they came over, my nephew noticed my son's PC. He asked if he can play on it, my son said not now. That was the end of it for a couple of days. Again, my nephew wanted to play on it. I asked my son if he minded sharing, he said he would rather not since its expensive and doesn't want it to break. This has caused a big argument. My sister says its extremely unfair to my nephew because he doesn't have a system to play on, just his iPad, so my son should have to share. I told her it's his PC not mine, he paid for it so it's up to him. She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. I said I'm not, but I'm not going to force my son to share his own computer. My nephew ended up having a huge fit, which she then blamed me for his fit, but gave him 3 more hours of iPad time to quiet him down.

Its been 4 days and my sister hasn't brought it up directly again, just being passive-aggressive. While on one hand, I don't want to make my kid share, because it's his computer, he saved up for it and I don't feel it would be the right thing to do, to force my kid to share. On the other hand, I do feel kinda bad for my nephew, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

>She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'.

No, a spineless parent would have forced their child to bend to your entitled sister's will - and then had to deal with the consequences of her entitled child fucking up your son's gaming PC.

I wish my parents had had my back in situations like these. Yes, sharing is important, so is understanding that 🎶you can't always get what you want.🎶 ######


Prompt:
I have two daughters 9F and 7F.

My youngest has always been my family’s favourite, especially her fathers favourite because she’s more outgoing and confident, she loves climbing and football.

My eldest is more cautious and anxious, she isn’t as confident as her sister but that’s okay and I’m always telling her people learn in their own speed and have different personalities and skills.

It’s not a secret that my ex prefers our youngest; she looks like him more, she’s got blonde hair like he does and blue eyes and tans easily whilst our eldest looks like me with her ginger hair and dark eyes, he also claims our youngest has more personality.

My eldest has taken to trying to copy her younger sister, my ex believes it’s because she wants her younger sister to look up to her but I think it’s because her younger sister gets more attention.

My daughters spent the weekend with their dad and his girlfriend when he texted me saying my eldest is grounded because she wouldn’t stop crying and screaming at her stepmother.

This isn’t like my eldest so I asked why? Turns out she called my eldest a baby because she couldn’t do something her sister could do and was crying, if there’s something my eldest hates it’s being called baby, they know this!

Well ex’s girlfriend posted saying something like “When your eldest daughter throws a tantrum and you know they get it off their bio mother coddling them 😒😹”

I responded saying that she wouldn’t have cried had they not belittled her and put her sister on a peddlestall.

My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.

My mother thinks I should’ve bit my tongue and that I was an AH here too.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

>My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.

That says a lot about him, that he thinks the proper response is to abdicate his responsibilities as a parent for the weekend. ######


Prompt: I am into gaming and most of my friends are online and on discord. I met some of my now close friends when I was 15 and they were 10(M),12(M),13(M) respectively. Over the years we have grown closer and the 10-12 year olds are brothers and look up to me as a sisterly figure . but the problem is that I'm 18 Now and some people notably my acquaintances call me creepy for being friends with 15 and 13 year olds. They are quick to point out that if I was a male and they were girls I'd receive so much back lash yet I'm lucky I don't. they say I shouldn't talk to them. I just don't want to leave them hanging now or else I'd stop talking because it does not look right. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

>look up to me as a sisterly figure

This seems fine, even if it's a little out of the ordinary (I wouldn't call it weird). Just don't date any of them and you're good to go haha

Edit: would be N A H if your friends backed off ######


Prompt:
So since I’ve been working from home I have meetings 2 days a week. But even during the days I don’t I still dress decently and wear a little makeup because it makes me feel good, and also my boyfriend compliments me a lot when I dress well, and say what you will but it’s nice.

But our roommate yesterday asked why I have to dress up so much in the house because it’s oppressive and weird. I explained why and she said it was egotistical to fish for compliments by dressing well, and that dressing so well makes her feel out of place.

For reference I was just wearing a casual dress and a little bit of makeup, it wasn’t like I was dressed for a wedding. But she wants me to dress down when I don’t have meetings, like sweat pants and a t shirt everyday.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

>it’s oppressive

wtf?? It's not oppressive for you to dress however you want lmao... Like, who would that be oppressing? And it's not "fishing" for compliments to dress nice... Fishing for compliments is more like if you were to walk around all day going "oh I'm so ugly" so that people have to say "noooo you're beautiful." What you're doing is not like that. ######


Prompt:
On mobile, please excuse my formatting.

I live with my mom, my stepdad, and my two siblings. I don't know much about my actual father, but what I do know is that he passed away from a heart attack when I was 2, and he wasn't a great parent. My siblings and I still have his last name (let's say Miles), while my mom has my stepdad's name (let's say Brown).

I've come to really like my last name. It's rather unusual, yet it pairs nicely with the rest of my name, and I've gotten several compliments on it. I feel it's part of my identity, and I would hate to change it.

My family, on the other hand, wants me to change it to Brown when I turn 18. Both of my siblings have already agreed to do this, and are encouraging me to do the same. My parents say that it would be better to share a last name with the rest of the house, because it brings us closer and there could be complications if I don't. My mom specifically states that I need to share a name with those I love, instead of someone I have no connection with (my actual father).

I know that last names show familial connections, but I don't want to change my last name because I feel it makes me unique, regardless of whom it came from. I don't mind if I have a different last name than the rest of my family. AITA for not wanting to change it, against my family's desires? ######

Response:
 NTA

>it brings us closer and there could be complications if I don't.

What complications is she expecting? It's not like she'll have problems picking you up from school once you're of legal age. And how does it bring you closer? Are emotions conditional on a name?

And what if you want to change your last name when you get married, does she want you to go through the legal process twice?

It's nobody's decision but yours. ######


Prompt:
Been hooking up on and off with a girl for a year. Nothing serious. Once in a while discussed our feelings on kids (just conversing) she wanted them someday, I never wanted them. All good. No feelings involved.

Was using protection initially and then she got on BC and started asking me to finish inside her. I said okay (dumb).

Some months after that we stop fooling around.

Months later I get a message from her, she’s 6 months pregnant, wants to know what part I want in it. I say I’ll provide child support, and we can figure out co-parenting. She says if I want to get a DNA test that it’s fine, I say okay.

What I don’t tell her is my sperm count is severely low and I’m practically infertile, but pregnant is pregnant and she says she didn’t sleep with anyone else.

Fast forward to last week, she asks if I’ll be signing the birth certificate. I say we will do the DNA test and then yes I will sign. She flips out. Says if I want a DNA test then it means I think it’s not mine or I’m hoping it’s not mine, that it means I never wanted a baby (which she knows), and that instead of doing a DNA test we can just not do one and that way I can believe what I want and I won’t have to feel bad for not supporting the baby, which is “definitely mine”.

AITA for wanting a paternity test for a casual hookup, especially when I am almost infertile? ######

Response:
 NTA

>if I want a DNA test then it means I think it’s not mine or I’m hoping it’s not mine, that it means I never wanted a baby

I mean... duh? Those are not the biting criticisms she thinks they are. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)

So due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online.

Her work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.

Lately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself).

She says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?

TL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######

Response:
 NTA

>I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something.

Exactly this. Other people's conversations are boring, especially their work ones.

She shouldn't expect you to just wait around till she's ready. ######


Prompt:
So, my fiancee tore a bunch of pages out of my sketchbook when I let her use it when we played DnD. These were pages she didn't use, and many had drawings on them. I didn't notice she did this until I was given the sketchbook back, and then we had this conversation:

Me: hey, can you be sure to not take any pages out of this next time? Especially if I've drawn on it.

Her: ok?? But you let me use it for dnd

Me: yeah, but I didn't say you could rip out a bunch of pages.

Her: but you said I could have it for dnd.

Me: I never said you could have it, I just told you you could use some of the pages when we play dnd. I even said we should go to walgreens to get more

Her: you shouldn't even be mad about this

Me: its not okay to tell me how to feel

Her: yeah, it is.

Me: no, thats bordering on emotional abuse.

Her: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel

Me: you started making excuses and then started telling me how to feel, of course Im angry

Her: im not making excuses, you clearly dont know what that word means

It doesn't get any better from there, and ends with her yelling at me that Im always wrong and don't want to admit it. I don't know how to feel or if thats true, so I'm asking you all. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

>Her: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel

This doesn't sound real though.. This sounds like a caricature of unhealthy age gap relationships.

Anyways if it's real then obviously NTA and she's seriously toxic. ######


Prompt:
I have recently banned my son from having his male friends over, and he is pretty upset with his mom and I. Probably sounds like a dick parent move but hear me out on why I did it.

I have a 14 year old daughter, and it’s been a hassle chasing the boys away. She’s a very beautiful girl (all thanks to her mom) and has been attracting a lot of attention from perverted men, our sons friends being some of them.

It is disgusting to see how they act around her and treat her. Yesterday was the last straw though. She was sitting on the couch and his friend came downstairs and sat by her because he thought she was the only one awake and started asking her if she was “really only 14”. He asked several times and kept telling her she “didn’t look 14” before I walked out of the kitchen and said “yes, she is 14. now leave her be”. I called Brennan (my son) down and told him he needed to have his friend leave.

When he left my wife and I discussed it and decided it’s best if he doesn’t bring his friends over anymore because this happens all the time. His friends endlessly flirt with her and refuse to leave her alone. We had to get a lock on her door that couldn’t be tampered with from the outside because we were worried about what might happen.

He says it’s unfair, that it’s not his fault and we’re being harsh. Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Is it unfair? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

>Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”.

Well, I'd call his bluff. He can't rely on family for food/housing and then turn around and demand that his gross friends be allowed to harass and disturb said family. One or the other.

And good for you, for speaking up for your daughter. ######


Prompt:
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for
about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts
because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.

He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself.

I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like.

Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with.

I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?

also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######

Response:
 NTA

>...he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like

So in addition to letting whatever insecurity he has allow him to try and control how you spend your time, he also immediately plays the victim whenever he is called out, forcing *you* to apologize to *him*?

He is a horrible boyfriend. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.

Tonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said "another shitty diaper to change" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.

Granted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).

It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?

When I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.

He wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.

I feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

> It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it... He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?

This right here. Just because he works full time 5 days a week (even if he is really put upon and they are 12 hour days) a 40-60 hour work week for him should not equal a 168 hour work week for you taking care of the baby. And that is the point of being a SAHM, to do the work that you'd otherwise be paying a nursery for. It should be treated (and respected) like a job, just like his. During work hours you are 100% on baby duty. But outside of work hours you both should be sharing parenting duties.

>  he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and **again** brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.

If he keeps bringing up that he pays the rent, it sure *sounds* like he is complaining. ######


Prompt:
So this is my first time in this position and I have no idea if I’ve made a huge mistake and put my foot in my mouth right now.

My (23f) partner (21m) and I are looking at moving in together. My flat lease is coming up and we’re looking at somewhere a little bigger (I’m in a 2 bed but the 2nd bedroom is fairly small).

He’s only rented student places and is from a very different area so I guess he was naive about prices. He has a job lined up for September but won’t be making a huge amount. It’s a great position but pay will be low in his career. I however have a very well paid position. I’m two years older and further in my career and happen to work in a well paying field.

When looking at rents he can’t really afford much. So I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage (eg my current place only costs 30% of my wages. So add say 30% of his and use that as a rent). This would enable us to afford some of the places we’ve looked at and I’d still be paying the same as I am here.

He got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling. He doesn’t seem to think how I said it was the problem which was my though (checked I hadn’t come across sarky/annoyed) but he genuinely has a problem with my suggestion at a base level.

So reddit, was I an asshole to suggest I pay more because I earn more? Thanks in advance. ######

Response:
 NTA

> I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage

I started reading this expecting you to be suggesting the exact opposite, and putting an unmanageable burden on him. What you're proposing is fair and considerate.

> He got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling.

The problem here isn't you, it is his ego. I know he is only a couple of years younger than you, but he seems very immature. I'd be questioning moving in with *him*, maybe not forever but maybe until he has had time to mature and get used to living and supporting himself in "the real world". ######


Prompt:
I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours.

However, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't.

So, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Regardless of your face and its problems, if you don't want to go in the ocean, you shouldn't be forced to go. I have many reasons for not wanting to go into the ocean. They are my reasons. You have your reason. They need to get over their own issues with you not going in and leave you alone.

People enjoy different things. It is perfectly possible to go on vacation to the ocean and never even put on a bathing suit and still immensely enjoy yourself. I speak from experience. I enjoy sitting on the beach on a blanket under an umbrella and reading books and people watching. Going in the ocean and sunburned through my SPF100, getting saltwater in my hair and sand in my bathing suit crotch gusset is not enjoyable to me. ######


Prompt:
So background my parents split due to him having an affair when I was 8, now almost 28. We moved to east coast, dad stayed on west. My siblings and I never really had a relationship with him growing up, now we talk once every couple months. My brother had a baby last February and my dad and his wife came to visit in November. He stated he wanted to move here and build a relationship with us and his grandchildren. I was really excited as I don't have much family and I've always wanted our relationship mended. The plan was for him to move out alone and stay with my brother for 3 weeks while he got an apartment set up and then bring his family out. Well he called and stated he wants to bring his wife and step son with him from the get go and then he'd look for a job and place. My brother told him no he isn't okay with that because he has a kid and that'll be too stressful and too many people in his house. Well he told me last night that since I was so excited and wanted him here, my husband and I have to let them live with us. We're pregnant with our first and due in July. I said no way in hell was I moving 3 people in when I'm about to have a newborn. How is that fair? I was told I'm being unreasonable and my dad feels hurt that no one will take them in. If we weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have an issue with them temporarily staying.

Aita for not letting them live with me thus preventing them from moving here right now? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your dad cant just up and decide he's staying in your house with his family for 3 weeks. I wouldn't be cool with adding 3 people to my house normally, let alone while I'm pregnant. ######


Prompt: First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account.  We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question  is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You need to empty that account before you tell her you're not loaning her any more money though.  If possible, open another account in just your name WITHOUT either parent on it.  If that's not possible, consider storing it with a trusted family member.

It happens all the time where a parent steals a bunch of money from their teenage children because the parent is also listed on the bank account. ######


Prompt:
I ordered some food from UberEats and receive a message stating that it should be delivered in no later than 30 minutes. Sounds good.

I leave a note stating that I would prefer to have the food left in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex, and not all couriers are familiar with the layout, so I include instructions detailing how to find my building and unit.

30 minutes go by and I receive a message stating that my food was delivered. I check outside my door and notice that it isn't there. I investigate further and eventually find out that it was left on the front porch of the leasing office, which was closed and unoccupied at the time.

I ended up having to drive a few minutes out in the rain to obtain my food, which could have easily been stolen by an animal or other person within that timeframe.

Given that I left specific instructions detailing how to find my apartment and there were no attempts by the courier to contact me and confirm that they left the food in the right location, I got frustrated with his failure to pay attention to detail and follow instructions and decided to leave the courier a 1-star review and no tip.

In my mind, tips should only be awarded for good or better service and no one is entitled to them.

AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA

What's the point of ordering delivery if you have to go out and get in your car to pick it up anyway? ######


Prompt: To give some backstory, I was adopted when I was 10 into a single parent household. I was raised primarily by my mom with the help of my grandpa who lives with us. I am now 21 and have always identified as being raised by a single mother. My mom has been dating her bf for close to 5 years now and I am very happy for her. Last year, my mom and I got into an argument because she wanted me to get him a gift for fathers day. I openly opposed since I do not consider him to be my father, nor do I have a close relationship with him. I think he is an amazing person who is good to my mom, but he never helped raised or discipline me. I have barely even spoken to him alone nor have I had a deep conversation with him. In fact I tend to get hyperaware when I do interact with him one on one since I storta want his approval. Although it would be nice to have a deeper relationship, we currently do not have one. I am getting stressed since fathers day is coming up in a month and I know my mom is gonna want me to get him a gift since she has already started to mention it. Last year my mom got angry at me when I just got him a funny/cute card and she tore it up bc she thought I did not take it seriously enough. My grandpa said it would be considerate of me to get him something and I am confused as to why? My mom said that he has always wanted a child but I am honestly confused as to why she feels so strongly about this. In my opinion, I do not consider him to be any sort of father figure. I feel like I should just such it up and get him something, but I just feel like they are not taking my feelings into consideration. Tbh if I should be getting anyone a father's day gift, it should be my grandpa since I actually consider to be a sort of father figure in my life. ######

Response:
 NTA

Not only is he not YOUR father, he is also not an actual father. Just because he dates a woman who has a son/daughter, doesn't automatically make him someone's father. ######


Prompt:
(Unrelated to my last post if you’re looking for another update you’re SOL)

So my vet said since I loved them so much I should give them a rate and review on google.

So I did..

And I was honest..

4/5 stars, great tech, doctor was nice blah blah, but the manager was a total dick on the phone and in person. This is not word for word obviously

And I stand by it, the manager was a dick he has ZERO people skills, acted like talking to me was a chore, and his tone just had this overwhelming “i am better than you” to it. Made all the worse from the timing (my rabbits died) I think I’m allowed to call and ask questions without feeling like a chore to some pompous manager.

I got an email asking to edit out the specifics of the review..

Why ask me to review you if you don’t want me to be honest though? Maybe take what I said and use it to improve your business? Give your manager some classes on how to talk to clients maybe IDK?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

I am a believer in changing reviews like this to state that you were asked to update the review and lower the rating at the same time. ######


Prompt:
So I’m 17 (turning 18 in May) and my sister is 16. There’s been a thing in my family where they pass down a cute little ring to the oldest daughter in the family when they turn 18, so I’m about to get it from my mom soon. My little sister has taken a strong liking towards the ring (she has seen it a couple of times) and so for the past few months, she’s been in a bad mood and basically throwing tantrums over how she can’t get the ring because she’s not the oldest.

For example, she has talked to my mom numerous times about how it’s unfair that the daughter who wants the ring the most can’t get it if she’s not the oldest, how her high grades should justify her getting it, and other excuses like that.

She has also came to me plenty of times trying to convince me to give the ring to her instead because she really wants it, even though I’ve said no.

She has brought it up so many times that my parents told her that they’d buy her a necklace (which has a similar color and shimmer to the ring), but she still wasn’t having it.

Last night at dinner, she started complaining about the ring again. I really lost my cool and said “shut the fuck up, nobody cares about how much you want the ring. It’s mine and you’ll never get it so you need to live with that”. I also told her that the way she was acting was sad and I wasn’t even sure that the necklace she was going to get would fix her childish-ness. It was kind of awkward and my parents berated me for my language, but was I in the wrong? ######

Response:
 NTA

Everyone has a breaking point.  From what you said this was going on for months.  She was told multiple times that she wasn't getting the ring and she needed to accept that and drop it.  A person can only repeat themselves so many times before it can be too much.

Could you have worded that better?  Sure, if you hadn't been pushed to snapping.  It's entirely unfair IMHO to push someone that far and then be mad at them for finally breaking under the onslaught.

I don't expect most people to have the patience of a saint let alone a 17yo.

Your sister is TA for not dropping it and constantly bombarding you with her whining and negativity. ######


Prompt:
I’ve had my cat Morwen (bonus points if u know where her name is from) for about 6 years and have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Recently we’ve been talking about moving in together, since his lease is up in May and we’ve been together a while, but if we moved into my apartment he would be moving an hour away and transferring locations for work. When we got together I told him I had a cat, and he said he didn’t like cats but since then whenever he’s over he pets her and will even bring her toys and treats and he cuddles her and calls her into sleep with us when he sleeps over. I assumed he liked her and we never discussed her leaving.

A few days ago while talking about him moving in he asked what I was gonna do with Morwen and I asked him what he meant and he said “Well if I’m moving in we’re not having a cat. I told you I don’t like them.” I told him I wasn’t rehoming Morwen and he said “If you want to move in with you we all have to make sacrifices. I’m transferring jobs and moving an hour away.”

I told him I wasn’t willing to rehome my cat and it wasnt up for discussion and he essentially told me then we weren’t moving in together and that he couldn’t believe I would choose a cat over him and hung up.

My roommates boyfriend offered to take her for me but I’m just not willing to give up my cat that I had long before I started dating him.

AITA for choosing my cat over my boyfriend?

Edit: cat tax https://imgur.com/gallery/qzlDmzi

Edit #2: Morwen is a character in Skyrim.

Edit #3: https://imgur.com/gallery/H2LiKZl -chirpy meows ######

Response:
 NTA

Do not rehome your cat because your boyfriend tells you to.
If he's trying to control you by making you choose between him and the cat, it will only get worse.

He's manipulating you. ######


Prompt: So, I have a five year old boy and my family has been pushing me to get pregnant again. Telling me it is time or else my son will grow up to be self centred and alone. That is the last thing on my mind. I have been unhappy in my marriage for years now and getting a divorce is more likely to be happening. No one in the family knows the state of my relationship and when they ask the husband, he says yes, he wants another. People thinks I'm being pure selfish. ######

Response:
 NTA

Being an only child doesn't automatically mean you're going to be self-centered. And he wont be alone because he has you. How you parent has a greater impact than whether or not you have siblings.

It's very responsible of you to not being another child into an unhappy household.

Also, it's no one's business but yours and your spouses whether or not you have another child. ######


Prompt:
Hi! A very close friend (called Anne) of mine has a beautiful cat, and that cat recently became the mom of 4 beautiful kittens. It was clear all along that Anne would keep 2 kittens, our other very close friend Isabelle would buy one kitten, and I would buy one as well.

The kittens seem to like us as well, which was very touching. But now that they are several weeks old, Anne wants to name them because they are her kittens, and she wants all the names to be chosen by her or to start with a C because they are from one litter. Isabelle and I dont like the names at all and we can't find a single name starting with C, even after thinking a long time and looking on the internet for inspiration.

The three of us talked today, but Anne wouldn't budge, so we have to basically live with the crappy names she chose for our future kittens or try to find sth starting with a C that fits and that we dont hate completely. She says the breeder chooses the names, and if we cant be with the kittens 3x a week while they are with their mom so they grow accustomed to their names, she wont use our names but will call them whatever she wants. Her argument is that you don't need to like the name to love an animal, which I agree with, but if it's mine and I have known them since the day they were born, can't i choose one?

AITA for wanting to choose a name I'll love for the cat I'll buy and spend the next 20 years with?

Tldr: My friend sells 2 kittens, but she named them sth I hate and doesn't let me choose my own name for my future cat I already agreed to buy months ago. ######

Response:
 NTA

Also ..... just rename the kitten after you bring it home. It is not confusing to animals to be renamed. They don't understand the concept of names. They just associate a specific sound you make at them with certain behaviors just like when you teach animals new tricks. Just say the new name and give treats when they respond. Kitten will learn that when you make the new name sound you are talking to it.

Also it is kitten season and there are about a million adoptable kittens. If you don't want to deal with your weird friend and her issues just adopt a different kitten.

Edit: My sweet cat had 2 names before she got to me. I gave her a new name. It took her about 3 times to demonstrate she could associate the new name to herself. She absolutely knows when I say "Bianca" that I am talking to her. She can be looking out the window and I can say her name and she responds to it. If I say other random words she does not respond. ######


Prompt: So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ######

Response:
 NTA

\>   I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket,

Just play dumb and pretend you don't know other people pay out of pocket. And if they try to tell you to, just be like "But why should I, it says right here in black and white that this is your responsibility.

They are not paying. You are paying with your HOA fee, If you pay out of pocket you are paying twice. ######


Prompt:
For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate

So I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women.

Kate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her.

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own sexuality and decided that I was in fact bisexual.

Since then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly because I just wanted to keep it to myself and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet

That was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text

At first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused

I told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years.

She then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls (I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself) or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys.

I told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl

Long story short, we went back and forth a couple of times until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?) and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her sexuality.

I eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since.

I very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bisexual but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking asshole ######

Response:
 NTA

"Trying to steal her sexuality." Lol, what? It's not like she owns bisexuality. She doesn't get to put a copyright on a sexuality.

If she's so sensitive and threatened by someone else coming out as bisexual, she has some problems. ######


Prompt: My siblings and I all have different fathers.  One is older than me by 4 years and the other is an infant.  I am 20.  My maternal grandmother whom I have never met according to the attorneys felt bad about the way my dad denied me b/c I was a product of an extramarital affair. My fiance who comes from a heap load of money told me not to tell anyone that I have money. I didn't listen I told a friend who told my brother and now he thinks he should have some. I told him no b/c what makes him think he deserves it we are no close never have been and have been estranged for the last 3 years not having spoken maybe once or twice and the last time I saw him he called me a whore b/c my fiance much comes from a well to do family.  Now my mom is saying I owe her for raising me.  I told them both to kiss-off. My mother b/c she wouldn't even buy me things like a winter coat in h.s. (I wore the same ill-fitting one from middle school while she and my brother (the GC) had all the latest everything)til I could get a job and buy my own.  I told my brother he has no claim to the money b/c we don't even have the same father.  He says he thinks it's only fair that I share, I told him if the shoe were on the other foot he would not share.  He said so what, that the amount I got could go around a few times over.  I said my grandmother gave it to me, and I'm saving it for myself and my future children.  My fiance and his family say I'm doing the right thing, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

"This is what grandma decided and I am going to respect her wishes."

Going forward, don't let them get under your skin. No reason to respond back with obscenities or anger. ######


Prompt:
My fiancée ran her old car into the ground. Literally every part was failing in some way. In order to make it fully functional would cost nearly as much as a new car. However she can’t afford a new car, and it seems silly to buy another used car to run into the ground.

So I bought her a new car. It’s not like I bought her a Maserati, it’s a Honda Civic. Plus, she’s pregnant and will be the primary care taker since she can work from home, so she needs a safe and functional car to drive. Can’t have her driving our kid around in a junker.

We also plan to combine finances when we get married. We’ve been dating for 6 years, so it’s not like I’m worried she’s going to run off with the car.

I paid for the car myself, I don’t get any money from my family other than some inheritance from my grandparents. But yet my family had a fit when they found out, saying it’s a terrible decision and I shouldn’t have done that until I’m married. I told them it was fine but they still keep bothering me about it, saying I should have talked to them first and they would have told me it was a bad idea.

I don’t see why I should have talked to them, I don’t talk to them about any other financial decisions.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

"saying I should have talked to them first" The heck? Your money, your decision what to spend it on. You spend it on safe transport for your unborn.

Congrats on the pregnancy. ######


Prompt:
Hello all. I'm on mobile, so sorry for any formatting errors on my part.

Me (30M) and my girlfriend (28F) have been together for 3 years and we have a baby girl that will soon be turning 2 this summer. My girlfriend wants to get our baby baptized and I am fully on board with this.

I am an atheist now but I grew up Catholic. At first I was on the fence about baptizing our baby but after some thought I said I was totally fine with it. So my girlfriend starting looking into churches to get this done at (before the lockdown). She told me about a few places but we would have to join the church our baby gets baptized at. I'm not ok with joining a church.

Some background: As before, I grew up Catholic but no longer a believer. As a child, I was not treated well in the church. I won't go into details but my girlfriend knows about my experiences and is insisting that I join the church with her to get our baby baptized.

I told her I'm happy to support our baby getting baptized at the church but I do not want to join one or attend one, except for the baptizing ceremony. I said if she wants to go to church, she is free to do so as it's not my right to stop her. I said my experiences really left a sour taste in my mouth and I don't want to go back to the source of a childhood trauma.

My girlfriend said I'm being selfish and I'm not thinking of our baby. We haven't spoken about this since the lockdown started.
I'm starting to wonder if I'm out of line here and if I'm being a jerk.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

"My girlfriend said I'm being selfish and not thinking of our baby"

Uhmmm does she not realize the hypocrisy of this statement?

Who was the one that wanted to baptize their baby for their belief? (I'm not taking a dig at religion, if she wants to baptize that's cool, but she shouldn't make it seem like this is something the baby wants) ######


Prompt:
So  yesterday, after years of wanting to get one, I (22F) got a septum piercing. My boyfriend (21M) was okay with me getting it.

But when I got home he said it doesn't look good on me. I said that's fine, but I like it and I'm keeping it.

He acted distant most of the night after that so I asked him what's wrong. He said he doesn't like seeing me with this piercing. I said literally everyone else likes it (friends and family) and most importantly, I like it. He then started insisting that I should take it out because he doesn't like it at all. I said I paid for it, I like it and I'm not going to do that just because he doesn't like it.

We started arguing. He said he would do that for me and I said I would never ask him to. Then he said that I don't respect him nor our relationship and if he was so important to me I would take it out etc. I told him he was acting crazy, it's just a piece of jewerly and it shouldn't matter this much.

He basically got up and went to his parents' house and spent the night there. I think I'm the one who's in the right here and my friends agree but my boyfriend won't stop. So am I the AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

"he said that I don't respect him nor our relationship and if he was so important to me I would take it out etc."

You could turn that argument exactly around and say he would not ask you to take it out if he did those things. ######


Prompt:
Me and my wife split 11 years ago when our daughter was 5-6 months old, we split cause she cheated on me and went to marry the guy she cheated on me with.  I remarried 3 years later and had my son (who is now 9).  The way custody works is that I get her for 1 week a month, christmas, thanksgiving and easter while my wife gets her during the summer.  My ex's husband had 3 kids of his own, 1 of them her birthday falls on the day right after my daughter's and she told me when she's at her mom's house they share a birthday.  me, my wife and son are currently out of state and helping out my in-laws cause they are old and need help now of days.  I already mailed my gift and told my ex to give it to her on her birthday, she's always wanted air pods so I got her a pair.  I had a bag and stuffing in the box and asked my ex if she could set it up for her

My ex texted me yesterday saying what I got my daughter is nowhere near what the other kid is getting and asked me to either chip in to get her something or wait.  I told my ex that I won't and that my daughter has wanted this for awhile, she told me that it is unfair that my daughter gets a better present than her sister.  I tried to compromise and said she can name the present in both our names (mine and ex) and get her daughter something a little bigger or more "equal" if she likes but I'm not going to just not give her the gift cause I probably won't see her for another month or so.  My ex is saying I'm being unreasonable AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

"Fairness" is not the same as equality.

You sent a caring gift to your daughter, and your daughter should get it. She and her step sibling are old enough to understand that there is not that much equality in the world. The step sibling may get presents from her mother's side that your daughter doesn't get.

You are being very reasonable. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.

Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.

I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.

But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.

Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.

My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.

I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.

She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.

When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).

I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######

Response:
 NTA

*She* dragged her ass. There are other exercises your nephew could be doing. Or, I don't know, his parents could buy the equipment for him.

The situation changed and you need what you previously offered, which she didn't act on in a timely manner.

This is on her. ######