Prompt:
For background we have been together for 4 years. Largely very good except for this one issue.

This has been an issue for literally a year. My boyfriends breath sucks.

I first brought it up lightly this time last year. He said he would brush better. Nothing. Two months later I bring it up and asks if he brushes his tongue. He said he would start. No progress. Three months later I said its really starting to turn me off and it was fine for a few days then came back. This went on until now.

Last week I brought it up and he said that there was nothing he could do because he brushes twice a day and maybe its all in my head because no one else tells him? (Wtf) But all his friends live out of town so he only games with them online, and he's not that close with his coworkers so obviously they wouldn't say anything.

It's really affecting our relationship because we sleep in the same bed and he falls asleep first and breathes all over me at night. How can someone sleep with all that all over them? So I sleep in another room and he gets a bit upset in the morning.

I feel like he doesn't respect how much this is affecting me. I don't want to wince literally every time I see him. Why doesn't he care?

I am going to get him to go to the doctor to check for tonsil stones or SOMETHING. WIBTA if I told him I was going to do this? I'm about to break up a fantastic relationship over this issue, it's been so long. ######

Response: NTA. I am surprised that for his own life and interactions he doesn't want to improve this, but what really sent me over is the fact that he ignores your concerns about it and then gets mad when you sleep elsewhere. If he doesn't want to take care of it, fine, but he can't expect you to bathe in it. ######


Prompt:
TLDR: Just had a miscarriage. Partner left me the morning after to go mushroom picking. Said it was my fault that I hadn’t asked him to stay. Now, he wants to go with me for the follow-up clinical visit. AITA for not wanting him to be involved in the follow-up visits.

I just had a miscarriage.

Thankfully I am medically fine based on my clinical visits. I have one follow-up visit to ensure that there are no complications. My partner was there during the 1st visit that’s when I found out that it was a miscarriage. There were associated pains physically on the day it happened and I honestly thought it was just post-workout pain because I have been playing badminton the day before. All in all it was a shocking and tiring day physically and mentally and I was glad he was there all throughout.

What I couldn’t wrap my head around was that the very next morning he told me that he wants to go mushroom picking with people from his work because he said “ it could be fun”. He left me, to go do that and when I told him I would have appreciated if he was there because he was texting me while he was out. He told me, I should have asked for it. Followed by a text, “Btw, I would like to hangout with you tonight though”.

It was just illuminating moment for me how his actions made me realize that I couldn’t be with someone who would go mushroom picking the morning after I had a miscarriage. I left his place. He called me 3 times and texted me that he wants to be there during the last follow up visit “because it would mean a lot to him”. But I don’t want him involved anymore.

AITA for not wanting to involve him for the visit (and possible in my life) because it was overwhelming with the miscarriage and I don’t want to deal with the fact that he choose me over mushrooms and that he implied that it was my fault because I didn’t ask for him to stay.

(If what he wants is peace of mind that the miscarriage has no complications, he could go ask the mushrooms.) ######

Response:
 NTA. I am so sorry for your loss.

 My husband (then boyfriend) was an over the road truck driver when I had our first (of three) miscarriages. He was in Tennessee when I called him to tell him I was losing our baby and he literally called his work and got himself loads to reroute himself home to MN to be with me. He pushed his clock to the limit every single day to be there for me. He apologized for not being home sooner the minute he got through the door. THAT is how a partner behaves.

Throw out the whole man and find someone worth the emotional investment and worth having a child with. He is not a loving partner at all and you deserve so much better. ######


Prompt:
My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her.

My cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I  complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook.

Am I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ######

Response: NTA. I always add a link to a fact checking website when I comment. Fake News is a plague on society. ######


Prompt:
Myself (F, 25) and my husband (M, 29) have been discussing having children and I’ve recently gone off of birth control to start trying. I had a very traumatic childhood and do not want that for my children. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. My grandfather has since died but my grandmother is still alive. I reconnected with my mother over the last 10 years and we have a pretty good relationship at this time. My mother is currently living with my grandmother.

 My whole side of the family is very religious. Jehovah’s witnesses. They have decided to shun me ever since I left their religion. My brother left before me and they shun him as well. My mother seems to think once we do have a child things will be different and they will want my child in their lives, especially my grandmother. I told her that I have no intention of letting my child have a relationship with any of the family members who are shunning me. She seemed surprised and I think it upset her that I said that.

 I don’t want to teach my children that what my family is doing is okay. I don’t want to expose them to that religion and have them force fed information. I know if they have a relationship with my grandmother she will not respect any boundaries I put in place in regards to religion. I don’t know if my viewpoint is healthy or if I would be harming my children by not allowing them to have a relationship with my side of the family (other than my mother and brother). So WIBTA if I keep my future children away from their maternal side of the family because of how they treat me? ######

Response: NTA. I also escaped an oppressive religion. What you're establishing are healthy boundaries, which makes you the total opposite of an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the "good" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that "someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff.

Her calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass.

At that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person.

Now I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?

Also sorry for the long post. ######

Response: NTA. I absolutely cannot believe the amount of posts where grown adults are expressly told not to do something and they do it anyway. You did nothing wrong by defending your wife when your mother physically threatened her! She brought this upon herself, OP. You’re trying to raise your daughter the way you see fit, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway since this is stupid petty.

My roommate and I are both vegetarians. She regularly shames people for what they eat, including meat and any carbs. I have bad anxiety/depression which often leads to no appetite (she knows this) and regularly all I can eat is cereal or pasta, which she always comments on so she’s been getting on my nerves a lot. I also don’t like her because I always catch her in dumb lies so I guess you can say we have a lot of beef. ...

Yesterday she had a stressful day due to an online exam so she went out and got a chicken sandwich from a popular fast food place. She sent me a picture from her car with the caption “cheat day” showing the half eaten sandwich. Sometimes I have cheat days myself so I don’t judge her for that at all.

Yesterday we were on a zoom call with some mutual friends and vegetarianism came up. My roommate kept joking around calling everyone murderers like she often does. One person said he’d thought about going veg but didn’t know if they could give up meat. My roommate assured him that it had been hard at first but if you stuck for it as long as she did you stopped craving it altogether.

I pointed out that she’d sent me a picture of a half eaten chicken sandwich the day before. No one really judged her or said anything but the guy she’d been talking to about it laughed and the conversation moved on shortly.

My roommate is mad because she says I really embarrassed her. I told her she needed to stop judging people for what they eat and asked why she felt the need to lie. She said her diet is not anyone else’s business but I think she made it their business by lying openly. She isn’t talking to me now.

-

TLDR: I called out my veg roommate for lying about eating meat after she regularly shames other people for their dietary choices ######

Response: NTA. Hypocrite much? She shouldn't have cheat days if she wants to call everyone a murderer. ######


Prompt: I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And today she ate an entire apple pie when I begged her not to do so. I was livid. Out of anger I hid the second pie. AITA Reddit? ######

Response:
 NTA. However, if this uncontrollable hunger is a new thing she might need to see a doctor. As someone previously stated on this thread it could be she has nutrition deficiencies.

It could also be, hypothyroidism or a similar hormonal condition. Lastly it could be a mental health disorder. ######


Prompt:
My uncle is a doctor, and makes good money. My Dad told him I needed money for school and asked for 1,000 bucks. He even had me thank him for the money and told everyone how my uncle helped him pay for school.
Turns out it was all a sham, my Dad used that money for drugs. My Mom showed me solid evidence of that, and I am horrified. I knew my Dad was an addict, but it didn’t occur to me that he was ripping off my uncle.

So WIBTA if I told my uncle what happened? Knowing him he probably wouldn’t sweat the 1,000, but I feel really guilty holding onto the knowledge. It might stir up shit between my uncle and my Dad, but I think he deserves to know. ######

Response: NTA. However, I would recommend that in addition to telling your uncle about the fact that your dad lied, you also reach out to him to ask him for help. This obviously isn’t just about the $1000. Perhaps your uncle is in a better position to intervene and work to get your dad in a better place and deal with his addiction. It’s also important that you are able to stay safe. I wouldn’t want your dad to take this negatively and take it out on you for “humiliating” him. So you should talk to your uncle, but do it holistically and let him know that you also don’t want to get in trouble/make things worse. ######


Prompt: I am a student and filed taxes for the first time this year. I pay all of my schooling (housing, tuition, and fees) myself with help from fed funding because my mom does not help me at all. I pay for all of my food, car expenses (gas, oil changes, registration), wifi, personal hygiene products, medications, health and dental insurance, etc. The only thing that my mom pays for me is my car insurance. Compared to all of my friends, I take on much more financial responsibility. According to the IRS, if your parent does not pay for more than half of your support for the year then they cannot file you as a dependent. My mom continuously starts arguments claiming that “I caused her to owe money to the government instead of getting money from the government,” because I claimed myself as an independent. Reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. However,  if you can start paying for you car insurance. ######


Prompt:
This is very awkward and I’m not sure who to ask so I decided to post on here.

My boyfriend proposed last year around Christmas, and of course I immediately said yes and together we have been very excitedly planning our wedding. We were due for September this year but have obviously put everything on halt.

One of my friends, Abigail, is a singer. She has a very gospel-ly kinda voice but as awful as it sounds all I think when she sings is ‘this is warbly’ and I have to fight to keep a straight face. She’s not awful, but it’s really not my cup of tea.

Obviously I would never say that to her but I do encourage her passion because one day she wants to turn her hobby into a career. I always respond in the group chat with constructive feedback when she sends us voice clips asking for it and if it’s very bad I’ll just stay quiet and not say anything at all.

Now recently in January a little known music producer (I think) retweeted a video of her singing and she has taken this as her sign that she is about to break it big.

She asked why I hadn’t asked her to sing in our wedding, and I answered honestly that I want her there in a friend capacity, not there to work. She then said she insisted on ‘gifting’ us the song to our first dance.

I really, *really* don’t want her to do this so I told her I would need to square it with my fiancé as we are making all decisions together. Thankfully he was on board with me and I texted her ASAP to say that fiancé wasn’t keen on the idea because he *really* wants x band to play instead.

She became upset in our chat group and quite a few of my friends are texting me telling me I should give her the platform and that I’m being a bad friend and an asshole, and that I’m being selfish. ######

Response: NTA. How selfish of her to insist on such a thing. It’s not as much of a gift as a way to showcase herself in front of all *your* friends and family on what’s supposed to be one of the most special days of *your* life. It’s your wedding, it’s your choice on what goes down. Even if it’s a gift, it’s not a gift you want presented at your wedding and she should outright be respectful of that request. Very much NTA ######


Prompt:
Hello!

As many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Well this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart.

The group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries.

I went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. How much has walmart done for the community members working for them? Kinda sounds like the group you volunteer is putting blinders on. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with shopping at a store for a single day while workers fight to get a living wage. I’d be willing to bet some of those families you deliver to have members that work at those companies that have protests ######


Prompt: Extended family is split on this.  We’re the only family members with a pool (medium sized in ground).  It was very hot in our region last week, and one of my cousins called to ask if she and her kids could come to swim.  I said I was really sorry, but because my elderly mother-in-law lives with us, and my husband is at high risk for getting seriously sick (post kidney transplant), we had to limit our exposure, and no one outside of the household was going to be able to use the pool.  Well, I got a couple of messages from family, like, “Are you serious?  You’re not going to let a couple of little kids swim?”  So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. How is this something your family can be angry about? You have every reason to keep people as far away from your home as possible right now. ######


Prompt:
So I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.

One of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.

I said that sucked.

This one girl Talia spoke up and said

“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”

So people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office.

Talia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.

To be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.

Talia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60.

One of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.

A different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######

Response:
 NTA. How is it she lost the money and it’s *your* fault? Does not compute.

Home girl was holding on to her grudge for 3 years to have her moment. 🤨 ######


Prompt:
So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.

I coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.

I did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says.

This was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.

But AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ######

Response:
 NTA. How do the kids know you're last name isn't Lexy?

Or how do the kids know the other teachers first name?

If teachers want to keep a professional environment (clearly like the other teacher does) surely they shouldn't tell the kids their first name to begin with? ######


Prompt:
I have a pretty old but reliable Lenovo laptop that is worth 300$,maybe less.(I got the laptop as a  birthday gift from a family friend)

My father decided to build a new computer for the family to use,which he spent 1250$ on,a computer that is used 99% by my brother,because he plays Fortnite and Roblox and he doesnt want to play those games on his phone.

Today,my mother had some work to do on the PC and my brother was angry that he couldn't stream idk what game.(that he also had on his phone ).

He of course started whining and mom told me to get  off my laptop to let him do what he wanted to.

I of course refused. He smashed my laptop's  screen to its keyboard multiple times. My mother also did that when I was playing and she almost broke my fingers since they got cought betwwen the screen and the keyboard.

She called me an ungrateful brat and took away my laptop.

So,Reddit,am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. How could anyone blame you for not wanting your computer damaged or disrespected? Stand your ground, OP. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé proposed to me with an heirloom engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother and has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s art deco style with a large, multiple carat diamond in the center and many smaller ones surrounding it and in the band. I love the ring’s history and the things it symbolizes, but I personally find it gaudy and impractical to wear because of its size.

I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of wearing something so expensive and important every day, aside from the fact that I don’t really like how it looks. But at the same time I felt like it’s kind of wrong not to wear an engagement ring when I’m engaged, like how it feels kind of wrong when a married guy doesn’t wear his wedding ring on a regular basis. So I asked my fiancé if he could get me another ring, a simpler one. I told him that he doesn’t need to follow the three months salary ‘rule’ or anything like that. All I would like is a ring with a small solitaire stone that I can wear everyday as a symbol of our engagement.

My fiancé seemed disappointed at my request and said that I should try to wear the ring for a few weeks first because it might grow on me. When I told him that I’m worried about the risk that I would lose it someway, he said that if I take care of it, I won’t lose it. I don’t agree with the things he said and I think it’s not fair that I’m expected to just endure my discomfort about my own engagement ring for the sake of pleasing people who are not the ones who have to wear the ring. At this point I kind of just want to buy myself an ‘everyday’ ring that I can wear as a symbol of my engagement.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. How are they going to respond if you did lose the ring? How would the family respond? This just seems like avoiding the shit sandwich before it's even served up. ######


Prompt:
My 35F wife 37F has a cavity she’s needed fixed since January, but didn’t want to do it as she is afraid of dentists. Me too, so I totally get it. Since then, though, it’s gotten a lot worse.

Now she won’t go because she’s afraid of the coronavirus. Normally I would shrug off not wanting to go right now as overkill but if that’s what she wants, that’s fine. Crowns are expensive but that’s her choice and I’d rather pay for the crown than make her unhappy.

The problem is, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t sleep next to her. Riding in the car is difficult. Our daughter noticed too. When I bring up the fact that her breath is bad, she gets enraged. I’ve brought it up twice in the last two months, but now I don’t want to anymore. She just starts insulting me and making me feel like an asshole for saying anything.

Three times I’ve asked “can you please make a dentist appointment?” In exactly those words, and each time she becomes furious. I’ve been to the dentist myself. Waiting another 8 or 9 months for her to go though is going to be very hard on me.

Also I’m sure at some point this will effect her job. Nobody wants to work around someone whose breath smells like rotting teeth.

I sympathize with her not wanting to go to the dentist, but but I don’t feel like she needs to me mean to me about it. AITA for asking my wife to fix her tooth and her very bad breath? ######

Response: NTA. How about you go along with your wife to the dentist as moral support? And in the time maybe invest in a good mouth wash. ######


Prompt:
My brother in law (wife’s sister’s husband)is a rehabilitated meth abuser. It seems like my sister in law will be moving back in with him and my MIL would like us to start planning the upcoming post-pandemic holidays.

I’m considering putting down a firm, “Absolutely not.” My daughter is 1 and I just don’t trust him.

He was caught with meth in his golf bag a year ago and begrudgingly went to rehab. He has been clean for about six months. Before this he was just a general jerk. He was exhausting to be around. He would make a scene about anything to get attention. IE: How his drink was prepared, how much crab was in his crab cake, etc. His racism became such a norm that I felt myself becoming desensitized. IE: “I’ve never met a met a Maria who wasn’t a maid”. His range of obnoxious and immature behavior had a wide scope and could go on for paragraphs.

We never bonded before drugs came into the picture. He would take cheap shots and come up with odd blatant lies when my wife and I would make any effort to bond with him over the last 12 years. For example, I told him about some things from infantry training and he interrupted me to go on about a time he went skiing from a helicopter. That story he interrupted me to tell had never happened. He has this odd habit of being shitty and/or lying in public but then apologizing/confessing in private when he gets you alone.

In short, I didn’t want this immature jerk around my daughter before I found out he was a drug abuser.  Now I’m drawing a strict rule but it will have an adverse effect on my In laws who understandably want the entire family together.

AITA and being too harsh or do I have a leg to stand on? I would also appreciate hearing from rehabilitated people who were on the receiving end of being cut out by family members. ######

Response: NTA. Hopefully your holiday plans are at your parents house this year and not your in-laws. I’d recommend seeing them a few times outside of the holidays to get an idea where he’s at as a person now and if you’re still seeing the flags, just save yourself the headache. I do recommend not disclosing why you’re choosing not going this year because honestly that drama ain’t worth it. Keep your cards close to your chest. ######


Prompt:
When I was 21, I was with a computer technician (23), he fixed people’s laptops for a big chain tech store. We had ongoing issues with the kind of things he thought were appropriate, that made me uncomfortable- ie. going through WOMENS photos and files looking for dirty pics.
One day 2 teenage girls entered the store with a macbook for repair.
The sisters were 15 and 17 years old.
Apparently, the 17 year old was hot. So my ex and an employee in his 40’s, used the girls laptop repair information to find her social media profiles and then sent the link around to employees who weren’t working that day, and friends who didn’t work there.
My sister was the one who contacted the store, as she was older than me (27) and was disgusted and angry at the predatory behaviour going on in store. He got sacked and told everyone I got him fired cos I was a psycho.. I lost a lot of friends. ######

Response: NTA. Honestly,  I would block him from absolutely every part of my life if I were you. It is predatory behavior, invasion of privacy, and absolutely violating these women by going through personal items without consent. He needs more than just getting sacked. And you deserve better. ######


Prompt:
My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.

My mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish.

I fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.

So reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ######

Response:
 NTA. Honestly I’d report her for the animals she currently illegally has as well but that’s just me. I definitely would not give her a puppy. If you want to avoid arguments just say you’re selling for more than $80 and you don’t think she can afford the actual price. Or maybe say all puppies are accounted for and have good homes already?

I have a chi/jack Russell mix and a lot of people in my family have chis and they’re a very needy breed from what I’ve seen. I can’t imagine a chi doing well in what is basically a large a pack of dogs fighting for food and not getting enough attention. ######


Prompt:
In my group of friends there's one guy who is your stereotypical nice guy, even comes with his own fedora. He's asked at every girl in our group then goes with "it's just a friend date" when they inevitably said no. I mostly ignore it all, but he ended up asking my GF out, when she said no he said he just wanted to hang out as friend and when she invited me he suddenly wasn't interested.

We've all been hanging out in a video chat lately and his cringeniess is becoming more and more apparent. I try to ignore it all but it just makes things awkward for everyone as he competes far too much with other guys when they're just talking to the girls. At one point we were all drinking and playing a game and my GF was being terrible at it so I was poking fun at her and ribbing her. He chimes in with "I think you should apologise to her, that was uncalled for" so she said "Dude, I don't need you to whiteknight me" which made him go quiet and then leave the chat.

He's been hitting on one new girl and it's made her uncomfortable, or so says my GF, and he's just not getting the message. We were all drinking tonight and he was jsut being super awkward so I just blurted out "She's not gonna fuck you bro, move on". he got quiet, left and then left all the chats.

Some people are saying I should apologise and that I was bullying him. ######

Response: NTA. Honestly I wish more guys would call their less savvy brethren out like that. ######


Prompt:
I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.

The woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too "slutty" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.

As far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems.

Then, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.

The husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.

I said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.

But then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.

I said "Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.

She said no right away.

I then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said "Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?"

She cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.

AITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######

Response: NTA. Honestly I think it's good that you put her in her place.  If she wasn't being respectful or receptive, then that's on her.  Doing it in front of her family is probably the only way she would've listened ######


Prompt:
Recently my great-grandma(98f) who we will refer to as Oma moved in with myself (34f) and my SO(37m). We are child-free so it made the most sense for Oma to live with us instead of anyone else in my family as I work from home and can take care of her. For the most part, Oma's mental facilities are intact however on her bad days she speaks entirely in German. To keep her from panicking and feeling comfortable I will carry on conversations with her in German.

To me, it's not a big deal if it keeps her calm and happy, I also don't feel it's harmful in any way. But my SO thinks it is rude that I carry on conversations with her in German as opposed to insisting on English. His main gripe is he can't understand what we are saying so therefore it is rude and I am excluding him from the conversation. I would be inclined to agree if she wasn't 98 almost 99 years old. And besides, we aren't even talking about him, which I've told him on occasion translating for him.

I understand that he feels excluded to an extent but at her age with her memory slipping and her having some confusion I feel he should be more accommodating. I've even pointed out if he takes the time to listen that English and German share similar roots that he will get the gist of the conversation. He, however, doesn't want to and insists that we should only speak English around him.

It came to a head last night she came into the kitchen asking a question in German, and he started yelling "English, speak English I know you speak it perfectly fine." I told him he was being an AH and to leave her alone. He hasn't spoken to me all morning so I'm starting to wonder if I was being the AH here for taking my Oma's "side" and conversing in German with her? ######

Response: NTA. Holy shit. She is 98 and has memory issues. He is 1000% the asshole. If he is insisting on English when she is having an episode and doesn’t remember English well, then he is intentionally excluding her from conversation whereas she has no control over it ######


Prompt:
I'm furloughed today and my mom is visiting, so I kept our 11 month old home from daycare. My husband is unemployed, but studying for a test. He said not to expect help with the kid since he is studying. I said ok and was watching the baby while waiting for his grandmother to come over. My mom asked me to look at some old videos of me, so I had them playing. The kid was being loud. Suddenly, my husband comes out of the office and asks "how would you feel if the daycare workers watched videos while they're supposed to be caring for our son?"

I got angry and defensive. I told him if he was removing himself from watching the kid, he can't complain how I'm doing it. Plus, it's insulting to suggest I'm not caring for my son "good enough". Kids make noise and I'm not going to punish him for being a kid. I also pointed out it's insulting to daycare workers to suggest anyone can do their job.

So am I being a bad mother and getting mad at him for pointing it out or are his expectations out of line? ######

Response: NTA. Holy shit I'd be pissed too. Is that out of character for him? ######


Prompt:
A long story pretty short, my dad gave my mother a necklace with a pink diamond in it when they got married, which he got from a housewife he worked as a butler for years before that. She gave the necklace to me when I got married but the clasp was broken so I couldn't wear it.

I was planning to give it to my daughter but after having four boys my husband and I have let that go and I thought it would be nice to give it to my niece for her next birthday. I asked her to make sure she even wanted it since she's not much of a jewelry person but she was surprisingly excited for it and we sent it in to get fixed.

There was an unnecessary fight between my niece and my sister about her current boyfriend which resulted in her cutting my sister off. Since I was behind my sister (but definitely not involved) I was also unfortunately cut off and somehow got most of the name calling.

Now I'd completely forgotten about the necklace until this morning when the jeweler called and said my niece was there to collect the necklace and wanted to make sure it was okay. I thought about it and decided to rather hold off giving it to her since she cut us off and I'd never actually worn it before. I told him I didn't send her and that I'll collect it tomorrow. Am I an asshole for doing this? ######

Response: Nta. Hold on to it. You might have granddaughters ######


Prompt:
My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.

For a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.

We currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.

She says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.

AMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?

Edit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######

Response: NTA. Hol up. Internet stranger man wants to move in with you and your girlfriend who might not be able to get away from him if she needed to? There are lots of ways to help people that don’t include letting them live with you. ######


Prompt:
Okay so a bit of background. Im 19F and my mom is 45. She has 3 children including myself who all have some sort of disability or mental illness. Me and my sister have severe anxiety and depression and my other sister has severe ADHD and type 1 diabetes. My mom nearly died bringing my baby sister into the world as well as my other sister. My mom and dad's marriage is extremely toxic and they really need a divorce and have needed one since I was old enough to realize what was going on. My dad has always had sexist notions to the NEED for a son. We don't matter because we don't have a penis which has made us resent him among other shitty things he has done.

On to the story that brought all this shit up. I was in my parent's bathroom cause the one used by us "Kids" was just moped. I heard a rustling under the sink and thought "Oh god please do not be rats" and went to check. I was met with a face full of pregnancy tests. My sisters and I have expressed to our parents on multiple occasions that they SHOULD NOT have another baby. Its dangerous to my mom, shes lost babies in the past, and we all have some form of issue either from a genetic cause or from my asshole father. I do not want my mother to die nor do I want another kid going through the same damn shit we go through every day. They can't even give enough attention to the kids they have now much less another baby. I feel so betrayed because we told them over and over that this wasn't a good idea as well as their own damn doctor said it was dangerous. But by the evidence mom is still trying to get pregnant. I feel like I am never enough for them. That my sisters are never enough. It feels so awful then paired with her risks and their toxic relationship, Im so lost and hurt and scared. I haven't told my mom what I found or what I think but I did talk to a few friends discreetly and they say Im being selfish. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. History of significant hereditary illnesses, toxic family atmosphere, the current global health and environmental situation and her age (after 40 chances of congenital defects and complications rise significantly) are the perfect storm of why NOT to have children. She sounds selfish and not very responsible or smart. Unfortunately besides talking to her there’s not much you can do to stop her. Your friends are wrong to say you are selfish, it’s your mom who’s being selfish attempting to bring a new life into a screwed up world and home life. I’m sorry this is so hard on you. If you’re in school there should be counselors provided by the school, and most will teleconference. See if you can talk to one to help you manage your feelings around this. ######


Prompt:
I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left.

Some side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. His utter lack of respect for and understanding of the concept that things can belong to people other than him has nothing to do with you.

Great example he set for his kids too ######


Prompt:
I've always used birth control as a form of menstruation regulation. Without the pill I can be randomly heavy and have terrible cramps and back pain etc.
Well my husband wants kids (I'd be fine either way) and so I've gone off the pill.
Recently I had an unexpectedly heavy flow overnight and woke up to a mess on the sheets. I was in pain and feeling horrible in general so it took me about an hour to have the energy to get up and do the laundry. My husband called me disgusting for waiting an hour (he was not in bed, just saw the sheets on the floor). I'm extremely insulted and frankly it's at his request I've gone off the pill.
He's refusing to apologize and saying I'm just angry because I'm on my period, which just makes me more angry.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. His response to you feeling sick and having a horrible period is to call you disgusting for not hopping up and cleaning right away? Does he have the slightest clue what happens after you have a baby? Because that whole thing is a literal shitshow.

Girl, go back on the pill. This man is not ready for the messy side of life. ######


Prompt:
My nephew is staying with me for the summer.  My brother is a single parent and I have the summer off work so to help my nephew is staying with me just for the convince and so the 13 year old isn't alone all summer.
My nephew has his own cell phone and I thought the Dad still had it locked at night. So my surprise I caught my nephew on his phone at 1 a.m.  Told him smarten up and go to bed.  Texted his dad just to figure out what is going on.  His dad told me to take the phone away and look threw it.  I am not a parent so I was a bit uncomfortable.
Well I found out my nephew was on discord talking to significantly older people.  There were several inappropriate interactions.   The person he kept messaging tried to voice chat 5 times the frist night I had the phone.
Now my nephew is now pissed cause he banned from discord and his phone.  Saying I had no right to go threw it.
AITA for going threw his phone and enacting the ban. ######

Response: NTA. His dad gave you permission and you’re the guardian this summer. You do what you think is right, you’re doing a good job so far. ######


Prompt: Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######

Response: NTA. His cheating affected more than just your mother and you have your right to your feelings. I’m sorry that you are in this situation ######


Prompt:
My husband recently lost his job,  I’ve picked up more hours and am exhausted.

I’m  meant to work from 6;30am - 4;40pm, I get up at 5;10am and the hour I’m back home depends on how long it took me to travel that day and how far away from home I am, for the past week I’ve been home at a reasonable time.

When I get home I cook dinner, do the washing up, wash and iron clothes, put the clothes away and after all that all I want to do is sleep.

I’ve asked my husband time after time to   put the children’s toys away, not let them take certain toys outside, not letting them bring all their blankets downstairs.

I once asked him to clean the house and I came home to find all the dirt he swept up in the corner of the room.

So I think what I ask of him is pretty easy? I came home and slipped on a toy car, one of the electric ones that I told him should stay in their room since it scares the kitten.

As an apology he cooked dinner and he’s pretty great at that but my back is messed up, my husband tends to kick in his sleep too.

I told him to sleep on the sofa or sleep on the floor, I don’t really care.

Now he’s moody and thinks I’m the AH because he got busy and I should be more understanding, especially since
I was home early (one of our clients cancelled) our children are 3 and 4 so I get he’s busy especially since our eldest has behavioural problems but It’s one simple thing surely?

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Him kicking in his sleep will mess up your back even more, you need to rest x ######


Prompt:
To preface this I 100% recognize how blessed I am to have the opportunities that my parents provide me and am in no way diminishing what they have given me so let’s please avoid the privelege comments and such

My parents typically take us on a big vacation(big as in long and far away, about 2-3 weeks and across the ocean) this upcoming year-summer of 2021- i am graduating from high school so my parents told me I could “plan” the trip in the sense that I can pick the destinations and activities that we do. My sister graduated from grade 8 this year and got a gift or two from my parents (gifts far above what grade eight graduation gifts would typically be imo) My sister and I typically have very different ideas of what a fun vacation is; she’s more of a relax on the beach at a resort type and I prefer outdoor adventure in a more temperate environment with activités like hiking. When my parents and I were talking about destinations for the trip my sister came in and started complaining about the destinations and asked why I could pick where we were going. Once my mom explained it to her she complained about how she just graduated from grade eight and didn’t get to do anything like that. The complaining frustrated me in part because it’s just annoying and also because she got a great gift for graduating grade eight (something in my country every kid does since it is literally impossible to fail) so I told her that graduating from grade eight means a lot less and is less important then graduating high school. I regret saying it and am not sure if it was too harsh but my parents Definetely think so and are telling me I have to apologize, which I plan on doing. AITA ######

Response: NTA. High school graduation is so much more important. It signals you moving on to the next chapter in your life. 8th grade graduation is literally very little change in her life. Wow she will go to a different school with more people now. Big deal. You are moving away (possibly) to college, this is a huge step in your life. I wouldn’t apologize. Your sister really needs to grow up. ######


Prompt:
I'm 21 F and have been friends with a guy 19 M for a few months. We've been talking for a while and I've opened up to him about a lot of things. We've talked about dating too. He'd never had a gf and he talked about how he struggles with it and I talk about how I struggle with finding someone decent (I had a bf when I was 15 who was emotionally abusive).

So I've been trying to make friends online as well but there are a lot of guys who will send creepy messages even if I've never talked to them or only specified that I'm looking for platonic relationship. I sometimes laugh it off but people can be cruel online.

I sent some of the screenshots to two of my friends (him included) and he says
"most guys just want you for sex, don't they?'
I tell him it's what a lot of women online experience and he says "no it's just you"
I asked him what he meant (as I've never had sex and he knows that) but he had a very condescending sort of attitude towards me. So I told him that.

I've sort of let it go as he never admits when he's wrong but it's getting to me. Would I be an asshole if I ask him to apologise for it? ######

Response: NTA. Hes a victim blaming g, misogynistic creep. If that's how he feels you may want to avoid being friends with him. ######


Prompt:
So we had a cat appear around our house eating the food we put out for the jack rabbits and magpies. I noticed her and put a little extra out and over the course of four or five days, I realized that she was eating all the food as fast as possible. After a week, she let me get near and feed her all she could eat which was a truly shocking amount of food. I suspected she was young and pregnant. Got her into the house that night. Took photos and posted Found Cat ads.

Took her to the Vet next morning to check for a microchip. Cat has no ID, and no one has reported a lost cat matching her description. Vet checked her over and cat was very young, pregnant and starving. The outcome for her the kittens was grim. The Vet didn't expect her to survive the birthing process, and kittens had been starved since she became pregnant, if they survived labour they would most likely starve because the cat was too thin to produce milk.

I was offered a variety of solutions to deal with the cat including trying to find an open shelter to take her; abandoning her; hope her owners appear before labour; et cetra. I chose the final option, claim her as mine and have the termination spay done. The Sassy Princess was last spotted doing the algebraic calculation of how to spread out her tiny body to take over the largest amount of space on a queen size bed possible.

I have had several friends outraged that I took a potential owner's right to choose whether their cat has the right to have kittens away. Someone else accused me of not caring about the kittens and not wanting them and being a kitten killer. I have argued that if the owners did show up, I would return the cat if the paid the hefty vet bill. As for being a kitten killer - yep I chose one life over that of her babies because it was the life I knew I could possibly save. AITA ######

Response: Nta. Here's a dirty little secret animal shelters that have spay neuter release programs do this all the time. The last thing an area that has strays is more kittens being born. Also if the mother is that  malnourished the kittens could have an array of genetic abnormalities that would be very expensive to house and treat. Also if a shelter had this cat come in, there is a stray hold time that varies from place to place but usually in a week or less. After that amount of time the animal is considered their animal and they would do the exact same thing that you did. ######


Prompt:
To preface this I'm 23 (m) and she's 20 (f), I quit smoking cigarettes for her when we started dating 2 years ago. That was a deal breaker for her and I respected that and chose her over my vice. Fast forward 2 years and now she's coming into her own and finding herself and wants to "go wild instead of being responsible" (her words). She started vaping with nicotine and sneaking alcohol into her parents house and wants to experience all types of drugs and not have restraints or feel obligated to not do stuff because of someone, which is likely me and her parents. We live in Tennessee which has harsh drug laws and I'm staunchly against drug use, which I've made clear.

I told her that her starting vaping upset me because of the stink she made about me smoking and telling me to quit, which I did. I told her about my experiences being addicted to nicotine and how I don't want to see her go through that. She says by all means start smoking again because it wouldn't be fair. However I think she helped me by taking that stand and it really pains me to see her start an addiction (which she admits shes addicted) especially to something that is supposed to help smokers quit. She said sorry, but blew me off. I didn't tell her to quit I just told her how I felt. I've also told her that doing drugs is a deal breaker for me to which she didn't really respond. I've just pretty much told her to do what she wants at this point and whatever happens, happens. I don't want to be the controlling guy or tell her what to do. But deep down I want her to choose me. Am I the asshole in this situation. ######

Response: NTA. Her vaping after you quit smoking after she asked you to is hypocritical and seems like a red flag. ######


Prompt:
When I moved in 2011, I changed my phone number. I never got a call from anyone asking for someone else, until about 2016. Every so often, I would get a call for this chick. If it was just a scammer, I wouldn't have worried about it, but I started getting calls about her doctors appointments, like OBGYN. I always said I don't know her, but it was still annoying. The problem was that I didn't know who this chick is. The first name is common, but the last name isn't. I couldn't even look her up on any social media because I didn't know how to spell it.

Anyway, I went to Petsmart today. They asked me for my phone number for the rewards. Then the screen popped up on the pin pad, and the cashier asked if that's correct. Note: I always a Petsmart rewards thing forever, and when they changed the program few years ago, I gave them my info again. So they should have MY name and email, right? But nope, it's that chick. She changed the info to hers. I didn't get her email, but I figured out how to spell her last name.

I looked her up on social media and found her. Some people said it might not be a good idea to reach out. Would I be an asshole to tell her to stop using my phone number for everything, especially for medical purposes? ######

Response: NTA. Her number might be 1234 and yours is 1243? Give her a chance to prove she not an ah. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. As a fat kid in high school, I really wanted to change how I felt about myself, and I transformed myself during my stay in college, to the extent that I was fairly ripped all the time and had abs.

This was when I met my girlfriend. She has never been to the gym in her life and hates excising. I have never forced her to do anything, or even hinted at her to change herself. She has gained 20 pounds since we were together, and I genuinely think her body is perfect all the time.

I worked 20 hour shifts in the hospital for a couple of months, and had to live there for 2 weeks. Obviously, with the gyms closed and me feeling too exhausted, I put on a few pounds and lost my abs. I was completely fine with this. But the moment I got the chance to spend a few days home after being quarantined at the hospital, my girlfriend's first reaction was disappointment for not being ripped. I was honestly tired and just went to sleep, but she kept pinching my 'fat' areas like my love handles and asked me when I would get rid of them.

At this point, I honestly just wanted a few days off and was very annoyed at her persistence. She got angry at me and told me that sex was off the table until I had abs again, and I lost control of myself at this point.

Basically told her how she knew absolutely nothing about exercising and was being a tyrannical asshole, how she should just start exercising if she thinks it's that easy, how her body doesn't require any hours at the gym to maintain while I just want to enjoy some good food after my shitty experience at the hospital cafeteria. I asked her to  do a single push up in front of me, and she failed, so I told her how big of an idiot she was being for expecting me to be in the mindset of exercising all the time.

EDIT: Just want to give the full context, so I have let my ugly side out too, thanks for any judgement ######

Response:
 NTA. Her loves sounds super conditional to me. "I'll only sleep with you if you look a certain way" is basically what she said. You said she's put on weight but you think she's still perfect and I personally would want a partner that feels the same way about me.

You shouldn't feel bad about snapping at her and I'm sorry she body shamed you and used sex as a weapon against you. That's abuse my dude, I would seriously consider reconsidering your relationship and what you want. Hope things calm down for you soon. ######


Prompt:
My 5 year old had been going to my mother in laws house pretty regularly for overnights, 2 or 3 times a month, per her request. In all my years of parenting, I have made it loudly, unmistakably clear that I do not use physical discipline on my children, and she is not to either. Ok, she doesnt agree but will respect it.

Fast forward to about 8 months ago (this is my MIL story and my daughter essentially concurred), my then 4 year old was in the bath and my MIL was helping her, and my child got shampoo in her eyes and started to cry and panic, so she splashed water on my daughters face to "help" and she lost it. She screamed and wailed because she couldnt see and had water up her nose now, and my MIL couldnt figure out the issue and there was another sleeping baby in the house, so she smacked my childs bare wet ass to "calm her down and stop the noise" (huh?) Instead of grabbing her a towel to dry off her face or offering comfort.

My daughter still doesnt understand why it happened and brings it up occasionally. Its created a huge rift in the family dynamic and relationship, but my MIL still doesnt feel like she did anything wrong. I'm very bitter about it still and have been a little controlling over visits since then.

So reddit, am I the overreacting asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Her logic is weird?! ######


Prompt:
So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now and we’ve been having sex for a few months. Most subjects we agree on pretty much completely and if not it’s not a big deal, everyone’s different. One of the topics that have come up is abortion and she says she is pro choice which I am too. My lizard brain didn’t think this through and assumed if we had a slip up we would go that route because that’s how it was in my past relationships.

Today on a car ride she mentioned she’s pro choice but personally wouldn’t be able to have an abortion which is fine, that’s her choice. I told her that it’s my fault that I didn’t bring up the subject and that it was wrong of me to assume, but right now I’m in college and still have 3 more years left. I think I might want kids someday but I couldn’t have them now. I told her I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore for awhile at least because I don’t want an accident to happen even though we are generally pretty safe.

Because if something did happen right now I’m not sure if I could stick around. And wouldn’t want to put anyone, especially her in that situation.

Right now she’s upset that I’ve had sex with her before but won’t right now and saying that I’m being unreasonable.

AITA for not wanting to have sex? ######

Response: NTA. Her interest in an abortion was different than what you thought, meaning she would keep it. Sex is consensual, and if one party wants to abstain because the other does not want to get an abortion, they are not an asshole. If she gets mad at you for not having sex with her, tell her that what she said just made you uncomfortable with being in a sexual relationship with her and that you choose to abstain as of now. ######


Prompt:
**Not recent but we are still arguing over this**

My sister was adopted when she was 9, I was 17 at the time so we aren't exactly besties which makes this more tense.

She's always struggled to move on with life, she's had countless therapists and has only just started to move on with her life.

When my sister was 19 she started to drink, since I wasn't living locally I only knew she had a problem about 4 years into it.

She's (28F) since cleared up her act, her partner even proposed and they're talking about having children when she's sober for long enough (she's been sober for 10months now and she wants to wait till she's been sober for 2-3 years)

8months ago we were having dinner with my parents and I got myself and my husband a drink.

The entire family went silent, like I'd done something profoundly evil.

And when my sister left my mother pulled me aside to tell me how wrong it was to drink in front of my sister who's struggling and my sisters partner hasn't had a nice word to say to  me since (we avoid each other)

Well, we were on skype with the family recently and I mentioned the biggest struggle was how every  food I used to enjoy makes me nauseous now.

My sisters partner said "oh, I'll make sure to eat that around you then like you did with *sisters name*" in a snarky tone, my sister butted in to say he was joking.

I exited the chat and told my sister I expected an apology from him.

She replied "*where's my apology when you saw me struggling and continued to drink?*"

I don't think I did **anything** wrong! They frequently go out to meals and she wouldve seen someone drinking then, I can't shield her from every little thing.

AITA? I'll apologise if I am. ######

Response: NTA. Her fiancé is though. ######


Prompt:
My roommate approached me today and said that her friend (who i've never met or heard of) had to move out of the dorms in a week and since he lived in Germany he could not go home for the summer.
Essentially she had told him he could stay at our apartment (2 bed 1 bath) for a month and was wondering if it was okay with me. I told her it made me uncomfortable to live and share a bathroom with a stranger and that I wasn't okay with him living at our apartment.
I feel bad since he does not have any other options and my roommate was trying to sort something out for him but I have social anxiety and would not be able to easily do daily necessities with him there and it would be a violation of our lease agreement. She is moving out in June while I'm renewing the lease so I am at risk if we get caught and she doesn't know about my social anxiety.
Am I the asshole for not letting him stay? ######

Response: NTA. Her fault for telling someone they could stay over while not consulting you about it. Tell her to tell German guy that it's not gonna happen ######


Prompt:
First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom "mom" and both my husband and her step dad "dad". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.

I don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.

One day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons.

Later that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.

I feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######

Response: NTA. Her bio moms outdated views about virginity are affecting her negatively and they don’t even make any sense. You did what objectively was best for her and should feel bad about it. However you should get your husband on the same page so if bio mom does find out you weren’t making a unilateral decision. ######


Prompt:
AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker?

I (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.**

That being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me.

Today, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything.

I know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched.

TL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Her being trans doesn’t mean she can touch your hair. You told her you don’t like being touched and she disregarded your warning. ######


Prompt:
My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc.

She co-owns a successful business w/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.

For the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props.

Business has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc.

Recently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through.

My parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate.

She started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ######

Response:
 NTA. Her actions are costing the business money. Also, not everyone likes babies. So if your business is handmade leather goods and the baby is sitting on new products with a diaper on, or drooling all over the merch, it doesn't look very good. It looks very unprofessional.

Maybe let her manage a social media page where the baby poses with bags or whatever with the family and other customers, but actual product shots and communication should remain formal and without baby. That's just weird. ######


Prompt:
Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well.

When we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing.

My husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down.  We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”.

Then today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”.

Am I being difficult here? ######

Response:
 NTA. He’s your child, not hers. She gave him up. You’re already being gracious to her by having an open adoption with your son.

I’m also adopted, and I’d be weirded out if my birth mother did this to me since I consider my adopted parents my real parents. You’re completely in your right to make that request. ######


Prompt:
Context: my ex and I have a 20 month old daughter. Ex and I live together even though we aren't any longer romantically involved and overall have a good relationship.

Long story short: our daughter is a 20 months old and with special medical needs and have never left my side once since she was born. I've literally never been apart from her for more than 2 hours, say if her dad was taking her for a walk.

Daughter is not yet in nursery because of her medical condition meaning I care for her all day long and work part time at night. Dad has left me with her for a total of 7 months in total split over several weeks at a time, sometimes he had to go for work and sometimes because he wanted to fly home to visit family. For 20 months I've not met with a friend or family member or gone to the hairdresser without my now toddler by my side. Due to our smallish apartment, I also sleep in her room. I don't remember the last time I was on my own.

I'm going nuts, I'm exhausted, I'm getting more and more depressed by the day and I need a break. Just two nights in a hotel in the city somewhere. Doing nothing.

Money is not an issue but my ex insists that I'm being selfish and shouldn't want to go or want to be away from my daughter.  He's said that instead he'll take her for a few hours doing the weekend but in honesty, I just need away from them both for a day or two. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He’s TA for acting like a brat about taking care of his own kid for more than a couple hours. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...

We work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.

I get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.

This isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.

So, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######

Response: NTA. He’s straight up gaslighting you by telling you you’re overreacting to something that you are 100% allowed to be upset about. You can’t go through someone else’s private belongings, and the fact that he’s trying to convince you he did nothing wrong makes it even worse. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday my bf and I were talking and I finally got the courage to ask why he gets angry at me every few days and days he will never talk to me again. I asked about a specific situation like why he was angry. And he answered 2-3 times that we hadn’t been together that long then but to me that’s not a reason to get irrationally angry at someone you care about. After I asked again specifically what was it I did that made him angry in that situation he exploded and flew into a rage. He said I will ask him every day (it wAs my first time ever bringing it up) and said I’m sadistic. I began feeling guilty like maybe he was justifiable angry bc I didn’t understand his explaining how the fact we hadn’t been together long related to how he got angry. And maybe it was reasonable he got mad he had to repeat himself 2-3 times.

Overall I felt such anger and I’d never been so scared of him before even though I am scared of him in general. I do wonder if it’s all my fault. He gets angry at me about everything but said he was willing to forgive his ex for cheating yet he gets mad at me for disagreeing on small things, looking upset, thinking badly of him (he assumed it when I’m not). I wonder why he treats me so differently and blame myself.

I feel I’m going insane. Was I wrong for not understanding him after he explained a few times? ######

Response: NTA. He’s gaslighting you. You should never, ever feel frightened of a partner in a relationship. Everything he’s doing are massive red flags. ######


Prompt:
I have recently banned my son from having his male friends over, and he is pretty upset with his mom and I. Probably sounds like a dick parent move but hear me out on why I did it.

I have a 14 year old daughter, and it’s been a hassle chasing the boys away. She’s a very beautiful girl (all thanks to her mom) and has been attracting a lot of attention from perverted men, our sons friends being some of them.

It is disgusting to see how they act around her and treat her. Yesterday was the last straw though. She was sitting on the couch and his friend came downstairs and sat by her because he thought she was the only one awake and started asking her if she was “really only 14”. He asked several times and kept telling her she “didn’t look 14” before I walked out of the kitchen and said “yes, she is 14. now leave her be”. I called Brennan (my son) down and told him he needed to have his friend leave.

When he left my wife and I discussed it and decided it’s best if he doesn’t bring his friends over anymore because this happens all the time. His friends endlessly flirt with her and refuse to leave her alone. We had to get a lock on her door that couldn’t be tampered with from the outside because we were worried about what might happen.

He says it’s unfair, that it’s not his fault and we’re being harsh. Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Is it unfair? AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He’s free to move out and have as many friends over as he’d like. At very least, your sons friends are extremely disrespectful and have no sense of boundaries. My older brother would have torn his friends to pieces if they were pulling this crap to me (Same age difference as your son and daughter).  It was an unwritten rule to look out for your buddies little sisters. Trying to flirt with a friends little sister was never ok. ESPECIALLY if they are 14 and you’re 18. Your sons friends don’t respect her, your son, or you and your wife/home. ######


Prompt:
Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.

I said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.

My brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He’s acting like he wasn’t planning to pay it back. 30k is an awful lot to flake on returning ######


Prompt:
So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend.

She lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him.

My friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content.

I told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated.

My own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ######

Response: NTA. He's your friend too.  Also blackmail would be if you threatened that he would find out unless she gave you something you wanted.  That is not what happening.  You are telling her you will not conceal her infidelity (given that she knows thats how her fiance would view it) and giving her the opportunity to be the one to own up to it. ######


Prompt:
So this guy has been my friend for a few months now. Maybe 5 or 6. Went to a few parties at his place, talked a bunch when quarantine was starting, that kind of thing. Once, when i was pretty drunk at one of his parties (a get-together of 4 pretty close friends), i spilled that id slept with a friend in our closer friend circle. Literally the next day i find out he's been telling everyone about it.

Fast forward a few months to late quarantine and he starts criticising little things i do. Like just reacting to his texts on Messenger when I don't have anything to say, and straight up calls me "very dishonest" for telling a teacher online I couldn't hear them well.

A couple days ago I'm out with friends and i find out he's been spilling that conversation too, and now some friends of mine from totally separate groups know about it.

So I decide to cut ties with this guy, and he just won't let up. Saying he still wants to talk to me and that he never had any bad intentions and that he doesn't understand why I won't try to work on this relationship and talk things out rather than cutting ties straight up.

So, after all of this, i need a sanity check. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. He's proven he can't be trusted. If he keeps pestering you, leave him on read or block him. Retaliation will only get him what he wants - a conversation. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time.

For the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that.

He came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is  mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house.

I told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times.

AITA for lying?

EDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ######

Response: NTA. He's pressuring you. Both before and after your "promise". You shouldn't joke about that, but it doesn't make you an asshole. ######


Prompt:
The title probably makes this seem like such a petty argument but to me it’s really getting old. So I’ve (18f) been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months now. I love him but there are times that I want to pull my hair out. These are those stories.

So, a big part of our bond is that we game together. Usually on our Ps4’s and it’s great, he’s my best friend. But lately he’s made a habit of joining my ps4 parties and grilling the guys I’m playing with. He mentions the fact that he’s my boyfriend like 10 fucking times in one sentence. The other day we were doing squads on Fortnite and some 9 year old told me I had a pretty voice and he FLIPPED and made this kid cry. And when I play games without him he checks my recent players and messages them, asking why they were talking to me. He texted and asked my *uncle* who he was and what I said to him because he wasn’t aware it was him. It’s so overbearing and so annoying so I got fed up and we got into an argument about it. I told him what I thought, that he was being overbearing and annoying. I feel bad about it now though, like I get it, he’s insecure because of his past relationships but fuck. Nobody is going to fall in love with me on my playstation. AITA for freaking out on him about it even though he’s just insecure ? ######

Response: NTA. He's controlling. Huge red flags everywhere. You're only 18 - you have plenty of time to dump him and live your life. There are loads of partners out there who would be thrilled to be your bf. His insecurity is not your problem. ######


Prompt:
My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) & me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.
For example -
Me: "Can you take the garbage out?"
Him: "Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!"
Things came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents.
Now a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the "Demon" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him.
Please help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ######

Response: NTA. He's being a manipulative little shit; his parents aren't a trump card for him to whip out to get you to do stuff for him. It sounds like he's attempting to gaslight you as well by conveniently forgetting a really shitty thing he said. ######


Prompt:
I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny.

Last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached  him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't.

It's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted.

So today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started.

Now he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first.

AITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ######

Response: NTA. He's been testing the females all year if he's been making sexual jokes. It's grooming behavior, trying to make himself seem less threatening (it's just a "joke"). He absolutely knows better. And reporting him was the right thing to do. ######


Prompt:
I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a "sleep till the last possible minute" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.

My husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running.

Sometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.

Today he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said "you're late" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future.

This is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ######

Response: NTA. He's a grown adult for crying out loud. His sleep schedule/routine is solely his responsibility to manage and it's not your responsibility to manage him. Also, who the heck sleeps in the shower with the water running?! ######


Prompt:
Basically, I help organize a comedy club in our small city that donates proceeds to charities. Lots of comedians big and small come to perform and it’s become a big hit locally. It’s 100% a volunteer-based thing and not at all formally organized.

Once in a while we have amateur nights and even rarer we have “mini roasts” where audience members volunteer to be roasted by comedians.

Anyways, this past weekend one of our regulars is this 19yo kid with a slight speech impediment. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since he’s volunteered with us before and wants to do things related to comedy for his career.

Well we had another roast night and he quickly volunteered. He got roasted. Some stuff was on his impediment but he laughed his ass off the entire time. His friends filmed the whole thing.

So not even 24hrs later I get a frantic call from this kids mom telling me that her and her husband plan to sue us for “ridiculing” their handicapped son. She apparently saw the video on his social media and without talking to him already decided to sue us for discrimination. I explained he volunteered but she said we should know better than to let an “obviously handicapped” person be the subject of “mean ridicule.” She said we had a duty and instead we trivialized/mocked his disease and suffering in front of dozens. She also told us to remove the video of the clip we have on our own social media pages.

I do feel a little bad. She talked at length about how they used to be in and out of hospitals when he was younger and how the comedians didn’t respect their pain (I guess she’s referring to the parents, not the kid). But at the end of the day we didn’t force anyone to volunteer and nothing was against his personal consent. AITA for ignoring this woman’s complaints? ######

Response: NTA. He's 19, he volunteered knowing what it entailed, and he enjoyed it. ######