Prompt:
I admit, there's not much drama surrounding this, but I could use a judgement regardless. Throw away for privacy reasons.

Husband and I just happily found out we're pregnant, very much a wanted child but the timing could definitely be better given the current world crises. Anyways, everyone around us is overjoyed, this is the first and only grandchild on my side of the family. Spouse long thought he was unable to have kids and had given up hope. Yay.

Moving on. The response to this kid has been fucking overwhelming. Oh. My. God. People are coming out of the woodwork to congratulate us, offer advice, opinions, life hacks, used clothing and baby items.

I love that this kid is so loved, it's amazing to be so supported but she's not even here yet and I'm so overwhelmed by how much the pregnancy/ childbirth/ kid having process is consuming my day to day life.

I just dont want to talk about it any more. I dont want to talk about my nipples. I dont want to talk about names. Or strechmarks or fucking clothes and diapers. So anytime someone brings it up, I just shrug it off or troll them with nonsense answers. Like telling them we're gonna name her Chalupa Batman, or Xena or some shit like that. Get her a baby hyena and raise them together.

People are starting to notice, and I'm getting remarks. People, namely the women in my familial circle, are having hurt feelings, telling me I'm sucking the fun out of this for them. That I need to take it seriously, stop being so rude, people are just trying to help, that I'm a Debbie Downer, ect. Mom gave me a lecture about how when you're pregnant, it's not about you anymore. That it takes a village to raise a child and that im ruining this for everyone else involved and acting like a moody teenager.

Truth is, I would kill to talk about anything else right now. The mating habits of San Salvadorian Marching Ants. Anything but this pregnancy.  I don't want to be defined by it

So, judgement time, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Imagine being so selfish that you complain about the fun being sucked out of *someone else's* pregnancy! Humanity achieves new heights everyday! ######


Prompt:
This happened a few months ago but I recently told this story to my roommate who thinks I overreacted.

I'd ordered food from an app and the driver called me to ask for my address. I had him on call for a bit because he seemed kinda clueless and it took him a while to find my building, but the conversation never went anywhere personal. I just gave him directions ,thanked him for the food and hung up. Didnt even get the guys name or anything.

Few hours later I opened my whatsapp and saw that an unknown number had sent me a ton of voice messages. I listened to them and recognised the guys voice. Tbh, there was nothing objectively weird in it, he just talked about how nice of a person I seemed and how he'd like to keep in touch and it wasnt a big deal if I wasnt into it but it still creeped me out. I'm a female living with a female roommate and this guy knowing my address made me pretty uncomfortable. I reported him to the app and they said they would deal with it so I blocked him and let it go. A couple of weeks later the same guy messaged me from another number and I blocked his ass like lightning but I was pretty stressed at that time so I didn't really focus on doing anything about it.

My roommate and I were chatting yesterday and I brought the story up, thinking I was in the right for dealing with him, but she thinks that it was an AH move. In my country ( and I guess in most countries) this guy was probably a min wage worker and he'd mentioned in one of the voice messages that he had kids so me reporting him could have caused him problems. According to her, he wasnt pushy and just sounded lonely and naive so I should have just blocked him and let it be. We also live in a gated building and the guy just dropped off the food with security and never saw my face so I shouldn't have 'panicked'.

I think I was justified in being concerned for my safety, but I feel bad for getting someone into so much trouble if it was innocent. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. im incredibly pro-worker, but messaging someone you delivered to is so incredibly inappropriate and unprofessional. if he didnt want to get fired, it wouldve been the easiest thing in the world for him to *not* message you and just go about his day ######


Prompt:
Recently I have been playing a well known mobile game that, among many other things, allows you to befriend other characters in the game and even marry one of them. This game is played entirely offline - i.e. these are not other people or players that you interact with, just non-playable characters within the game.

Well, when I mentioned this to my spouse, they were quite upset about it - think yelling at me, threatening to take my phone away from me if I continue to play it, telling me that I "should have known" that this would upset them (I did not know this, I swear!), etc. No matter how I tried to explain that it's just a game, it's a non-playable character (not another online player), etc., they were quite adamant - I am not to be playing this game anymore.

The thing is... this game is quite relaxing, as it allows a lot of freedom in what you can do - farming, exploring forests, caves, deserts, and other environments, fishing, etc. With everything that's going on in the world right now, it's nice to have a quiet little game that I can spend a little while playing on my own sometimes. And I should add that it's not like I'm ignoring my spouse to play this game (we spend lots of time together), or playing it to excess (I play it exclusively during downtime like when I'm putting the kids to bed, waiting in a long line, or finishing my coffee when I'm the first one up in the morning).

So I'm still playing the game during those times, but just not telling them about it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your spouse isn't ok with you "marrying" an NPC, they are  very insecure and unstable. Start saving money for therapy OP. ######


Prompt:
I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.

I (55m)have two kids, Ana (30f) and Alex (27m). Their mom isn't in the pictue. I have a relatively high earning job so I was able to save up for both of them to go to college which amounted to about $100k each kid.

The thing is, Ana got a full scholarship for college where both her tuition fees and living expenses were paid for but I had to pay for my son's education and living expenses with the money I saved up.

Both my children knew I had $100k for their college education but since my daughter got a full ride, I told her I'd hold on to it until she either wants to use it for her wedding or a downpayment for a house.

So last week Ana asked for the money to buy a house and I gladly gave it to her but a few days later I got an angry call from Alex accusing me of favoritism and how I'm being unfair. I explained to him that I just gave her the college fund I was saving up for her, which was the same amount as what I've given him for college. He still thinks I should've split the money evenly so it would be more fair. I have no idea how he knew about it but I think my wife (their stepmom) told him.

Ana has since told me that her brother has been calling her every now and then demanding for his half of the money. So both my kids are fighting now.

My wife told me that I'm being a bit unfair and that the money is tearing the family apart. I told her that it was always Ana's money and I already gave Alex his share to pay for his college expenses.

Both kids are college educated with good jobs so it's not like Alex desperately needs the money.

So reddit... AITA? I think that splitting the money would've been very unfair to Ana, who worked hard to get her scholarship but what do you guys think?

Edit: I spent a bit over $100k on Alex's education cause not only did I pay for his tuition fees but I also paid for his rent, bills, food, and everything in between. ######

Response:
 NTA. If your son graduated with no debt, and you paid for all living expenses,  then he got his $100K.

Perhaps add it up, and show him what he got.

You basically just delayed payment of your daughters college fund, and payed out in a lump sum, since she got  full ride. ######


Prompt:
So my area reopened beaches and I have been going everyday for the last two weeks to go surfing.

Before anyone goes on about me not social distancing know that the beach I am going to is not at all crowded and I can stay a good 50-60ft away from other people.

Apparently it’s bothering my sister though as she is unable to go to the beach at all and she used to love going to the beach.

My sister got into a car accident last year and mostly uses a wheelchair to get around. She can walk a few yards on even surfaces, but that’s it.

My mom says I shouldn’t go so much because it’s upsetting my sister to see me coming home from the beach each day, but if I don’t I’m basically stuck in this tiny, hot ass apartment all day (no air conditioning) and Its sounds bad, but I don’t feel like her mistakes should mean I have to suffer. ######

Response:
 NTA. If your sister had been blinded, would you have been asked to not look at things?

I'm sure it's tough, but she can't expect others to just not do thing they enjoy. ######


Prompt:
I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted.

Of course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.

She ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ######

Response: NTA. If your sister bought your nephew paints that don’t easily clean. That’s her problem, not yours. ######


Prompt:
There's really not a whole lot of back story here. She's 39 weeks pregnant and keeps begging me to have sex because she thinks it'll help her go into labor. I've been denying her advances for the last month or so because I just don't have a drive to do anything. It's been hard on me because I feel like I’m upsetting her and I also don't quite understand why my drive left. I don't want her to feel like she's ugly or fat, but I don't feel like I should force myself to do something like that.

&#x200B;

Anyway she's really upset with me because I told her today I can't handle her constantly asking me to do it or making jokes about how I won't. It's torture to me to constantly be reminded about this internal conflict I've been having regarding the subject. I know it's my fault that I didn't tell her sooner but this sort of reaction is exactly what I was afraid of. On the outside when she makes jokes or requests she sees me respond with a complementary laugh/smile or a polite no.

&#x200B;

She's upset with me for what seems like her assumption that I'm saying she's ugly/fat now even though I told her specifically that's not true nor is it why. I know from a "should you ever have sex if you don't want to" standpoint the answer is that I'm in the right. But am I an asshole for not wanting to have sex with her right now? Should I have just kept it to myself and not told her to stop? ######

Response: NTA. If your sex drive dropped out of nowhere, you need to see your doctor. If you guys were regularly having sex up until a month ago and suddenly the drive is gone, that could be indicative of a serious problem. Tell your wife that despite finding her incredibly attractive, you are not interested in having sex. Her feelings will be hurt. But you have every right to say no. But definitely get yourself checked out. ######


Prompt: So I have a large collection of books that I often reread. I love them all very much. My favourite series is noughts and crosses books. My parents often make me lend books to people I barely know and sometimes the people take ages to return it and if they do, its often a bit damaged. The other day my parents asked me to lend the noughts and crosses to someone (we’ll call this someone J). J is quite nice but she has a brother who likes to play football with almost any object in their house, and I was not going to let him do that to my book. I said No. My parents totally blew up at me. They said I was selfish. I told them I wasn’t going to lend my favourite book series to someone else because I love them and I don’t trust other people with them. My parents are now angry at me and I’m angry at them, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was being a bit selfish. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your parents want to lend books to random people all willy nilly then they need to acquire their own copies of said books to lend out. You're under no obligation to share your possessions with persons you hardly know, especially knowing those things are likely to come back damaged. ######


Prompt:
I'm (21M) quarantining with my university flatmates. 3 girls (all 20F) and 2 other guys (20M, 21M).

One of the guys, we'll call Sam (21M) looks like the typical "neckbeard". He's largely overweight, wears anime T-Shirts, unkempt facial hair and has spots

However, he only *looks* like the stereotype. He's not creepy or holier than thou. I've spent time with him and been to many parties with him, he just suffers from sometimes severe social anxiety and low self esteem.

Well, he went back home for something and I was in the kitchen with the rest of the flatmates.

One of the girls, we'll call Amy, immediately began roasting Sam by saying "I'm so glad that ugly neckbeard is gone" and how she doesn't have to look at him anymore.

Honestly, I immediately felt disgusted. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from or how they look like. I was once treated like that and it isn't nice.

I immediately snapped at Amy and said "You're bullying him, and that's not cool". She looked at me shocked I confronted her and things went quiet.

Later my other male flatmate Henry said i was an asshole for interrupting Amy and that she was "only joking around and having fun". I told him tht he's complicit and should be ashamed. But I do wonder whether I was an AH for embarrassing her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your idea of "fun" is putting down other people behind their backs, there is a 10/10 chance that you suck ass. You did the right thing my dude. ######


Prompt:
My stepdaughter (24) is moving in with her Bf this weekend and when she asked for help moving, I said nothing about it being my birthday because let’s be real- there’s a pandemic and I’m not going to go out and party or anything. But we would have to get up super early and drive three hours to help her move and then three hours back. Her BF and his father live in that town and are going to help. My husband is going to help, which I have no problem with. Her bio mom isn’t going, so I feel less pressure.
However, my husband keeps asking me to go when I really don’t want to have to wake up early, drive three hours, move stuff in the heat, and then drive home another three hours. On my birthday. I just want to sleep in and relax. I have not asked for anything for my birthday, it’s 41 so no big deal. My birthday last year was a complete sh!tshow and I actually had to remind my husband that he had a gift for me AFTER the date had passed.
Am I the asshole for just wanting to sleep in and not have to spend six hours in the car AND moving her? I get that my husband wants to spend time with me on my birthday but I’d rather  stay home and be lazy. I feel like the asshole.
Also just extra info: I’ve gone above and beyond for the step kids over the years and have great relationships with them. But I feel under appreciated at times which makes me feel less pressure to go help her move again. ######

Response: NTA. If your husband keeps pressuring you for it, gently remind him that you’d much rather have some time for yourself on your birthday rather than move stuff. But the way he keeps pressuring makes me wonder if he has something planned? ######


Prompt:
Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling.

Then suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, "Goddamn!" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time.

I got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your girlfriend is self-conscious about how you react to her farting in your face, then maybe she shouldn't fart in your face. Totally gross. ######


Prompt: I'll start by explaining the situation, my mother is a health nut who also happens to have celiac disease. I don't have celiac disease and don't currently follow the diet. My mother insists on me following it even though gluten free food is more expensive and tastes bland in comparison. Her reasoning is that apparently gluten gives people diabetes, which I know is complete BS. I'll also note that I'm not making her spend extra money on non gluten free food, as my father doesn't have celiac disease either. It doesn't affect her at all for me not to follow the gluten free diet. I'm pretty certain I'm in the right here, but would like another perspective. ######

Response: NTA. If your dad can safely prepare non-gf foods without it affecting your mom, and you don’t have a gluten intolerance, there’s no reason for you to eat gluten-free. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I, both 24, have been together ten years now. He’s my best friend and I love him. Since the beginning of our relationship I’ve explicitly said I do not want kids, and he’s always gone along with it. I practically brought up my siblings due to my mum being a drug addict, and don’t want kids myself.

A few nights ago we were at his parents house, his dad said something like “when you two have kids...” and I looked at him expecting him to say something but he didn’t. I brought it up when we got home and he asked if I’d be ready to start trying. I was quite simply baffled as this is a conversation we’ve had many times before. Like many times. He said that he assumed I’d just change my mind and that he really wants kids. I refused and said if he wants kids he can get them elsewhere.

We’ve been arguing about it constantly, and his parents have managed to worm their way into it and saying I’m an awful person for leading my boyfriend to believe we’d have children, when I’ve been doing the opposite our entire relationship. I love kids, and if I happened to fall pregnant I would love the baby with everything in me, but I’ve told him from the beginning that planning a baby isn’t something I want. My parents even seem to be on his side. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you’ve been explicitly clear this whole time, then he’s been lying to you when he’s gone along with it. I’d bet that he’s also told his parents a different story, given their reaction. He’s been telling himself that when you say “never,” you mean “not right now.” ######


Prompt:
My roommate (22F) and I (20M) have been roommates for about six months. One of the things that was agreed upon when I moved in with her was that I don’t want anyone else, including her, in my room. I grew up in a household where my privacy wasn’t respected, and I would routinely get home to my parents tearing through my room without me in there and without my permission. It still gives me anxiety.

My roommate is usually good about honoring my request. However, lately she’s been making a fuss about the request. My roommate’s parents were super good about honoring her privacy, and she’s super open about her space. Lately, she’s been making small comments like, “why do you care who’s in your room if you have nothing to hide?” and “well what if I need something from your room?” And when she does this, I always tell her that it’s not about having anything to hide, it’s that it gives me a lot of anxiety, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

A couple days ago, I got home from work to find my roommate in my room. When I confronted her about it, she said she was quickly dropping my laundry onto my bed. I told her that she should have just left it on the couch until I got home, and that she didn’t need to go into my room. I usually do the laundry, but because my roommate got laid off from her job and I didn’t, she started doing it, so after confronting her I brushed off the incident as a one time thing.

Yesterday though I found her in my room again, this time because she needed to borrow my charger. I told her again that I didn’t want her in my room. I was trying to keep calm but I’ll admit I was very agitated. She said I was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal and I should just suck it up. And today she was giving me the silent treatment, so I’m genuinely wondering if I overreacted. ######

Response:
 NTA. If you’ve actually caught her twice she’s probably been in more times than that unfortunately. Living with roommates, your bedroom is your only truly private space.

I agree with other posters about installing a real lock either through a locksmith or buying the external hardware for a padlock and doing it yourself. She will probably take this as extreme or you hiding something, but you’ve already explained your preference on this and didn’t owe her that to begin with ######


Prompt: I can’t exactly remember how it got to this but my mom and I were talking about the house were living in and she said “And then when you move out I can come live with you” and I said “Oh I don’t really want you to live with me” and she got mad and was like “Do you not care about me and want to take care of me?” And like yeah I do care about her I just don’t want to have her live with me when I have my own house. It’s MY own house. She was talking about how she can’t do her job forever. She’s a 51 year old fitness trainer. Her knees are fucked up and she’s not gonna be able to do it for long and she knows that. She said “I’m not gonna get a new job once I can’t do this one. Are you not gonna take care of me?” I see it as her fault for choosing that as her only job or whatever. Anyways yeah that’s all I gotta say ######

Response:
 NTA. If you’re close to moving out, there’s a reason she didn’t bring this up until now. She knew she would have been shut down and that she’d have to figure out other arrangements. If you’re younger, she’s unfairly trying to pressure you into a commitment you’re not remotely prepared for. Either way, she’s banking on your familial guilt to bankroll her retirement. I feel for her, but she should have been planning for this long ago.

I know this varies in different cultures, but that’s my take based on what’s here. ######


Prompt: He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ######

Response: NTA. If you’re able to DRINK on a call, it can’t be too important that you can’t take the few seconds to mute it. ######


Prompt:
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)

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Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.

Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.

A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.

"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"

Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.

This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.

Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.

I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.

I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.

So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...

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Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######

Response:
 NTA. If you're within a year of sobriety and your friends are aware of that, they're not friends if they want you to go to a pub for your birthday. Your sobriety is way more important than their preferences in food. And regardless of the sobriety, your birthday is about you. You get to decide where and when you want to celebrate and if your choice is to not celebrate, that's the right choice.

To give you an example of how good friends react to something like this: it's my birthday next weekend and I asked my roommates if they would come to my mom's house with me. All I had to offer was home cooked food and animals to pet. They immediately agreed because it's what will make my birthday special. ######


Prompt:
This happened today at 7am, i got woken up by a huge scandal going on in the aparment above mine so i went to check it out.

The tenants are two tourist girls that rented the apartment from airbnb and a strong weed smell is coming out from their door. My other neighbors are there knocking on their door and shouting but these girls don't speak any spanish so i'm chosen to speak with them.

I told them in english to cut it out as the smell is very strong and affecting other tenants in the floor. no answer, just giggling. However, i chose not to tell them that the neighbors have called the cops on them, which might have prompted them to get sober asap.

Cops show up an hour later and start talking with the neighbors and the landlord (he doesn't live here but came called by the other tenants), weed smell at this point is still at 50% strength. They tell the landlord to open the door and get these two girls arrested.

This is where i start to feel bad since they seem very young (21-23 at most) and they have no idea of how messed up a police station in south america is, even in the women's holding cell. I know they won't get a phone call either so they could be stuck there for a week until their embassy even learns of their arrest. ######

Response: NTA. If you're stupid enough to smoke where it's illegal you get what you get. If they hadn't been hotboxing the entire bloody building nobody would have cared. ######


Prompt:
Hey folks, so I'm at a fork in the road here and have to make a decision. \[Re-phrasing some things so this post doesn't get removed again\]

My brother is in his mid-30s and recently applied to become a police officer. I'm not going to say where since this would be a dead give-away of who I am. When he first told my family and I that he was applying to become a police officer, we were skeptical, but I didn't think anything of it, assuming he'd never make it past the initial testing phase. He has extreme anger issues (he has been in court a few times but my father has paid lawyers to get these incidences expunged from his record), he still lives with my mom, and has addiction issues. His current job has nothing to do with law enforcement either. To my utter shock, he's somehow made it to the final phase before he's admitted to the academy, which is background checks/character references. I have no idea why he put me down as someone to provide him a character reference since we've never had a good relationship. But I recently received an email from the police department asking me to fill out a character reference for him.

I absolutely do not feel comfortable with the idea of him being in a position of power within the community for obvious reasons. That being said, I am the godparent to his only child (who I love and adore) and my brother's current job is not exactly a career that will give his child a great life. I fully support my brother's ambition to have a better career, I'm just not sure if he's the best fit for law enforcement.

WIBTA if I was truthful on the reference form and potentially ruin my relationship with both him and subsequently my godchild? Should I just not fill out the form at all and hope for the best? Or should I withhold certain details for the sake of their future? ######

Response: NTA. If you're concerned for the safety of others, you should always tell the truth. If they choose not to hire him based on your reference, they probably won't tell him that was why. You WBTA if you gave him a false good character reference, in this case. ######


Prompt: Ordered a custom product, told them what I wanted down to the design and colors and paid a design fee. It was a custom gift for my wife and another one for my daughter. A month after it came, they listed the product I had them make for my daughter as a buying option for everyone visiting their site using a photo of my daughters gift as the image on the page. I said something and they refunded my design fee for that product. When they listed the first they decided they would no longer charge the design fee on thing that they would relist or people would pay extra to keep it off their for sale page. Two days after that I check their site and they listed the item I had made for my wife for Mother’s Day. For her it was a personal item and now it’s for sale, no mention of a refund. Feel like i need to take their 5 Star perfect reviews down a notch with a review telling everyone to never have them make something personal. ######

Response: NTA. If you were expecting this to be custom, it should be custom and only yours ######


Prompt:
Hey guys! This is my first time posting on AITA so please bear with me....

First a bit of context... I was planning on getting married this October but have no idea if that is still going to happen due to the lockdown that's going on

So I (29yo F) was on the phone to my mother this morning discussing plans for a "Virtual Birthday party" for me for next week (basically a group video chat with family) and we got on talking about how because of the quarantine that all my families birthdays have been pretty much cancelled this year.

I really wanted to do something special as it's my 30th but will happily settle with just a call, I suggested that we could set up like a Family birthday party after quarantine to celebrate everyone's birthdays. My mum then responds with "well we will see if we can, maybe we can do a joint birthday call next week as your SILs birthday is 2 days after yours and you were planning to get married this year so we can all just celebrate them at the reception" I was deeply hurt and angry by this as
1. my birthday has always been over shadowed as my SIL is a few days after mine and therefore I've had to have joint parties/gatherings for years, I dont usually mind but this is a big birthday and all my 'big' birthdays have eaither been ruined or shared, and
2. that my wedding day is supposed to be about my hubby and me! I told my mum that in no way, shape or form will I be sharing my wedding reception with birthday celebrations for everyone else, it's my big day, and one that I've been waiting on for years, I wont be upstaged on my wedding day"
She got kind of huffy and said well it's not often all the family is together and that we will "just see what happens" now I love my mother and my SIL dearly but this has really struck a nerve.... but still I cant help wondering AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you wedding will be on a Saturday, your mother can plan something for the Sunday. Or the weekend before. Or the weekend after. Out of curiosity, what's HER wedding story? Would she have allowed her day to get upstaged by everyone else? ######


Prompt:
I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times.

My order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.

So, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######

Response: NTA. If you wanted that sort of crap you’d have asked for it or sought it out. ######


Prompt:
Our whole relationship is great except for our bedroom situation. We haven’t been intimate in several months and I don’t really show off my body to him anymore.

All of my pajama clothes were in the wash and they weren’t fully dry and I had literally nothing else to wear other than stuff that’s not comfortable to sleep in. I also don’t want to sleep in thick pajama pants because it’s 95 degrees outside.

I figured screw it why not sleep naked just for tonight. I got into bed and he got all weird. Asking me why I wasn’t wearing clothes, which I explained why and he said surely I could find something to wear. I said yes I have other clothes but I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in those clothes. I told him I didn’t see the big deal and it was just for a night, we used to sleep naked all the time.

He got really bugged and said it was weird and it made him uncomfortable. I got up and went to sleep on the couch. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you used to do it, it shouldn’t be an issue. However, I wonder about the lack of bedroom stuff and his reaction... ######


Prompt: My family is beyond angry with me for this purchase and I want to know if I am wrong for it. If I am wrong, I will return it. I (26F) still live at home with my parents and younger sister (23F). My parents are currently not working but still being paid by their jobs and my sister is a student. Our finances have stayed fairly the same through this situation. I am still working my fast food job and have been saving for this big purchase. Yesterday I was able to order a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag ($1,580 retail) for $1,100 preloved. I have been saving for this for a long time and it is my dream purse. I don’t own any other designer items. I told my family so they could share in my excitement but everyone was beyond angry at me. My parents yelled at me for not contributing enough to the house and throwing money away on fashion items. However, I pay them rent and pay the house’s cable. They have never asked for more and it has always been clear that my leftover money after covering those expenses if for me. My sister is calling me a show off and making fun of how I will come off when wearing it. I don’t want to come off like a snob and am now reconsidering it after these comments. If I return it, I don’t know what I will put the money towards because my parents haven’t exactly asked for anything. So do you think I should return it? ######

Response: NTA. If you specifically worked and saved up to purchase this purse, there is no reason to feel guilty. You worked hard for it. You're allowed to enjoy luxury items. It was your money not theirs, they don't get a say in your finances since you're already pulling your weight. Keep the bag and enjoy it. ######


Prompt:
I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down.

In my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault.

I gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you say you have a boyfriend, they'll keep pushing. I think many of us women have experienced it. Turning them down outright let's them know they have no chance. ######


Prompt:
AITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer?

So, I need a lot of things delivered to me as I can't go out due to chemo and the fact that I'm currently immunocompromised has me needing a lot of things that I pay to have delivered. What I do to get my things delivered faster is add a large tip ($50.00+, I can afford it) and then it's snatched up and I get my things quicker.

Once I have the person who will deliver my things, I change the tip to $0.00, and wait until they arrive and tip them the same amount in cash. The delivery services I use take between 5 and 15% of the tip and I'm not tipping the company, I'm tipping the person who's taken time out of their day to bring me things. I've never stiffed someone, I just prefer to know that the full amount I want to tip them ends up in their pocket and I don't trust the government. I did waitressing and I never got the full tip and I know people are hurting.

I mentioned it to a friend and she got angry and said that I was scamming the company and misleading my delivery people but the way I see it is that the company charges me extra for my groceries and takes a delivery fee from me, then they want to charge the deliverer. I know for a fact from all of my delivery people that they're not charged if they don't get a tip so why should I pay the company an additional amount?

Obviously I'll change if the company policy charges but until then, they're not taking any more from me and paying their drivers scraps. I also believe that cash is better so that's what I do.

AITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer? ######

Response: NTA. If you promise a $50 tip through the app and deliver a $50 cash tip then the driver is getting even more than they were promised. And these apps generally treat their drivers pretty terribly so to hell with giving them any more money than you have to. ######


Prompt:
Edit: by toilet I mean toilet bowl rim mainly

My(23) boyfriend (30) of  5 months is pretty great and has visited my apartment pretty frequently as of late. He generally picks up after himself ok enough, there is one hug pet peeve that he is aggrrivating.  When he uses my toilet ,he regularly leaves pee under the lid on the rim that builds up and causes a smell. It took me a while to realize this is what was happening as he was using my guest bathroom that I'm never in.

 He feels that since he's the guest, and he has a medical condition that effects his aim, it's not his responsibility to keep my bathroom clean.

As a girl, I rarely dirty this part of the toilet and it feels gross to have to wipe down the stains so often. I've noticed this with my brother(12) and a male friend that has visited, so idk if it's just a guy thing but I find it pretty gross and disturbing.

How much do you ask frequent guests to clean after themselves? Am I overreacting or is he just being a dick? ######

Response: NTA. If you period dripped on the seat at his house he’d expect you to clean it up. It’s not your fault, and a medical condition, but I bet 1000% he’d want you to clean it up. ######


Prompt:
Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.

So this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.

A month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.

So Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you need advice if things seem they might escalate or if you have any concerns, please call Karma Nirvana. They are a UK charity for exactly this sort of thing. ######


Prompt:
I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal.

I walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise.

There's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town.

I gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said "Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings." I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....

Fast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once.

I was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty "job" she's done. Her excuse? "I was busy with homework". I hung up the phone.

I rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?

I dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.

If im TA, tell me so I can make it right.

TL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######

Response:
 NTA. If you hired a plumber to fix your toilet and instead they clogged it and flooded your bathroom, would you pay them for that?

She didn't even feed your dog. She doesn't deserve to stay in business with that sort of work ethic, particularly since she's working with animals. ######


Prompt: My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######

Response: NTA. If you have COVID symptoms you absolutely should not be leaving the house, and neither should they, since they are in such close contact with you. ######


Prompt:
When my roommate and I first moved in together we went and I adopted two cats. I paid for adoption fees then and still pay vet bills now.

The two cats are siblings and are now a bonded pair since it’s been a nearly a year or so now. She plans on moving out once our lease is up and going to college in another city. Having two cats and two people in the house was always perfect. And each of us bonded with one of the cats.

These cats love each other, I don’t know if that means anything to anyone but they do everything together. They cuddle, groom each other, play all day - they’ve been that way with one another since they were kittens.

My roommate is moving back home with her mom before she moves to college. She told me her plans to take the cat with her back home (where they have huge dogs and a mother that hates cats) and to school. While I understand why she wants to take the cat, I simply cannot and will not separate the two. Especially when I know she cannot provide the money for vet bills.

Once she told me of her plans I gave it a little time to breathe before I mentioned responsibly and respectfully that I’m not all keen for the idea. I mentioned her getting another cat to raise and love on her own but WIBTA for not letting her take the cat she bonded with? I don’t know I just wanna put the two cats connection with each other before their connection with us. ######

Response:
 NtA. If you have been financially responsible for them the whole time, they're your cats.

If they are as obviously bonded as you say, then shes TA for wanting to break them apart. ######


Prompt:
I am a 16 year old male. I live with my joint family which consists of my mom (40) and dad (41) grandfather (68) grandmother (68) great grandmother (91) and also my great grand father who passed away last year at the age of 96.
We live in a very small house with respect to the number of my family members.

Hence, I dont have my own room in my own house.
My grandfather has a liver disease since a year and a half after a bypass surgery. My grandmother had a knee surgery recently and also has another one this year. My great grandmother does not have any diseases but is quite old. My mother has to take care of them and so she does not work. My father owns a business that is not doing that well currently thanks to covid-19. I was studying for an extremely important exam this year which I had to ace to get into a good college. And because of that exam I could not even go anywhere for some fun because I had to STUDY. For reference the last movie I went to see with my friends was about 3 years ago.

When the day of my final exam came, our nation went into quarantine and my 2.5 month holidays went down the drain. I now am looking after my grandparents and helping my mother in housework alongside studying for my 1st college year. Everyday I have to sit infront of my grandfather for hours just to be there if he needs anything. I havent met my friends since months and my privacy is literally 0.

I am completely fed up of everyone in my house. They feel that it is my obligation that I should look after my family. I literally have to sleep in my grand parents' room beacuse there is no room for me. I have 0hours to myself alone and the only time I get to think about myself is in the bathroom.

STILL MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM LIVING A LUXORIOUS LIFE AND THAT I AM UNGRATEFUL AND I AM LAZY AND UNHELPFUL BRAT.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you have any money saved up, or any friends that'd take you in, move out ASAP. Because your grandparents aren't getting any younger and will only need more help as time progresses. ######


Prompt: So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ######

Response:
 NTA. If you guys are trying to figure out if you're talking about the same person, then it makes sense to include major physical descriptors like race. That doesn't make you racist.

It's not like you said he was smart and funny for being a black person (at least I hope that's not what you said). That would be racist. Perhaps there's a chance that's what your coworker thought you were getting at. ######


Prompt:
Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum.

I, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation.

This is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained.

I said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born.

AITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######

Response: NTA. If you don’t want to babysit, then don’t babysit. ######


Prompt:
Looking for some other opinions to help with my perspective.

My wife saw an area rug she liked on Craigslist. It was described as in good condition and was close to where we lived. The seller was asking $40 and my wife called and asked to come see it. The seller was about 10 minutes away, and my wife arranged a time to go meet.

Her story upon returning with the rug was that she arrived at the destination to find the rug on the porch and the seller not home. When she unrolled the rug to look at it, she decided it was in poor condition and not worth the seller’s asking price. To be fair, she is a career interior designer and well capable of making this determination. However, she decided to leave $5 and take the rug to use for a different purpose than initially intended.

After she explained this to me, I insisted she return the rug or get agreement from the seller that she could have it for her $5 offer. I explained that taking something that was not hers for a not agreed on price was theft and, regardless of how inconvenienced she felt, it did not give her the right to unilaterally decide on all the terms of the sale without the sellers consent. Her claim is that the seller was inconsiderate for not being there at the agreed time and making false claims about the condition of the rug gave her the right to take it for whatever price she felt acceptable.

She wound up returning the rug but treating me horridly for more than a week for ”not backing her” in this situation. I will add that she did all of this in front of our teenaged daughters and I felt strongly it set a very poor example. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA. If you don’t like the the price or the condition, don’t buy. You don’t get to unilaterally decide on a new price without the seller’s consent. It was a dick move for the seller to not be there at the agreed on time, but it doesn’t justify theft.

Did your wife bother to call the seller when she got there? ######


Prompt:
So a few days ago, one of my friends (who lives less than a half a mile away from me) sent me a picture of the sky because it was super dark. And here is the ensuring conversation verbatim:

Friend: it's going to storm really bad
Me: I don't think it'll be that bad but I'm still excited
F: dude go fuck yourself
M: ???
F: it's rude to be excited for storms because they give other people really bad anxiety and panic attacks (goes on to divert conversation to book they're reading)

And I'm confused because they know I absolutely love storms and find solace in them. Even when there are tornadoes sirens going off, I enjoy them. I am aware that my friend doesn't enjoy storms but should that really stop me from even talking about my love for them? ######

Response: NTA. If you could't be excited about anything that gives other people anxiety you couldn't be excited about ANYTHING. ######


Prompt:
My wife wants us to compete in a weight loss competition, so it can make it easier for her.

The thing is, I can’t healthily lose any weight. I’m just 5 pounds from being underweight. I still do work out to become more fit, but I don’t lose weight.

My wife is slightly overweight. She wants to come down to a healthier level, which I wholeheartedly support. But, I can’t bring myself to compete in something that I can’t possibly win at. My wife thinks that this is unfair, and that is competing will make it easier for her.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you are already so close to being underweight, there is no reason at all for you to try and compete. Perhaps come up with a fun alternative to help her with her weight loss, like instead of a competition, you can both workout together three times a week or cook healthy dinners together. It sounds like she might just need some oxternal motivation to help her reach her goal. ######


Prompt:
Me [18M] and my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for 2 and a half years. We trust and love each other a ton. I have nude photos of her on my phone. My twin sister [18F] a few days ago snooped through my phone and found the pictures. I'm angry at her for invading me and my girlfriend's privacy, and feel guilty for not better protecting my phone and thus exposing my girlfriend. I have since put a passlock on my phone as well as the folder with her naked pictures.

My sister says she snooped cause she was bored, wanted to see my pictures, and accidentally stumbled upon the nudes. I suspect she may have looked for my gf's nudes on purpose but either way its fucked up.  As far as I know, she didn't see my nudes (hopefully yikes). My sister is gay and has a girlfriend [17F] of almost a year. I'll call my sister "M". Since then M has been making a lot of comments on the pictures and my girlfriend to me. This really upsets me and I think its super disrespectful. Things she has said include:

" Damn she's hot, a solid 9"
"Her boobs are almost as nice as mine"
"If I was single, I could get with her"
"She has a nice pussy"
"You don't deserve that body"

I keep telling her to shut the fuck and stop disrespecting my girlfriend but she wouldn't stop. So I told her if she keeps making these comments I'd tell her girlfriend what she's doing but she didn't believe me and didn't stop. So I texted her girlfriend a screenshot of some of the creepy stuff M has texted me about my girlfriend and told her what M was doing.

M is now furious at me because her gf got super mad at her. She says I might have cost her, her relationship.

I didn't and don't want to tell my parents as I didn't want to out my sister as gay to them, and they would flip out if they knew I was exchanging nudes

Did I overreact or go overkill involving her girlfriend? ######

Response: NTA. If want to know I'd my gf/bf was speaking like that about others ######


Prompt:
I was dating my wife for 8 years before I proposed. We lived together for most of that time and it just didn't feel like it would make any difference. Finally I proposed and just a month after the proposal we found out that she was pregnant. With that discovery we decided to postpone plans to get married until after he was born and everything was settled in a bit.

Fast forward to our wedding with our baby. While we had him by our side for the majority of it, every now and then a family member would volunteer to watch him for a short bit. Queue my wife's mother saying that she wanted to watch him for a little while.

Now I can tell many stories about why the MIL is not a responsible adult, but I'll keep it simple for the sake of this post. I thought it'd be fine since there were people everywhere and in my head "I had to start trusting her at some point". I was wrong and I'm happy that it stayed as tame as it did.

My son was teething and gave her a small bite on the MILs arm. I didn't see it but apparently she put him into the wet grass and just walked away saying "shit, he's lucky I didn't throw him". She left him there with no one close by watching him. My mother saw this from a distance and scooped him up. She told me about it later.

So... I didn't much trust this person beforehand but the event solidified my stance. It's been four years now. I never talked to the MIL about what happened. I just told the wife that the MIL will never watch him or even be left alone in the same room as him. She wasn't happy about it but didn't argue against it either. When the MIL has offered to watch him I dance around the issue and I think that she has gotten wise to the fact that even though I'm friendly to her, I wouldn't trust her to make a sandwich for my son let alone watch him.

All of this has soured relations a bit but frankly, that hasn't changed anything for me. So... AITA for never letting the MIL watch her grandson? ######

Response:
 NTA. If things happened as you've said your MiL cannot be left in charge of a child. They are unpredictable and can throw tantrums or be upset. Is her reaction to a tantrum in a mall going to be to just walk away again?

Your wife is on your side, if only just. On some level she must know about her mother's questionable behaviour or she may be in the fog. Might be worthwhile checking out r/justnomil. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021.

I’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.

My fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was video chatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her”. My fiancé mad a bit of a half assed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.

Afterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.

He claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.

He got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If they're like this now, can you imagine what they'd be like around your future mixed children?? If he cannot stand up for you and have the courage to tell them that they better knock it off or it's no contact, then I don't know, but that would be a deal-breaker for me. (experience with my white father and Asian mother and dad's racist parents - he cut off from his family and stayed by my mother's side) ######


Prompt:
I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie.

Today I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that.

I called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.

Obviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.

They called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her).

Now they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If they're divorced, your dad should get his own account. ######


Prompt: Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######

Response: NTA. If they wanted to keep it between them and their marriage they shouldn’t have involved you at all. But since you witnessed the affair, and since you are their child, it now becomes your business. You’re allowed to have an opinion on it. ######


Prompt: So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. If they say they’re not drinking your milk they should have nothing to worry about right? ######


Prompt:
So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing).
Two years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that.

Cut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony.

Now three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If they carry on send them the screen shot you were sent and ask them why would they be invited to a dungeon wedding full of scary music and lettus as they clearly hate that. 2 faced people are the worst. ######


Prompt:
I’m sure I’d be TA here but I wanted to double check because I’m an idiot.
I gave my girlfriends nephew $800 for his class trip. The trip cost around $2400USD & I felt generous after hearing his parents were struggling to meet the monthly payments. I gave it to him in private and really adore this kid.

Now, his class trip has been cancelled. His mother and father now have possession of the money and intend on using for their own purposes.
The money was a gift to him, not their family.

WIBTA if I asked for the money back? If not, I’m lost as to how to bring it up without coming across as a douchebag BIL.

Edit: it appears the money may be allocated towards a family vacation. Not sure how that changes people’s opinions. ######

Response: NTA. If they aren’t classy and decent enough to give it back or ask what you would like done with the money now that the trip has been canceled, you are well within your right to ask for it back. ######


Prompt: I have 6 sisters and they always want to group text. 3 are nurses and we have a niece who is a EMT so they are constantly texting about medical stuff. They share pictures that are gruesome. When they aren't doing that it's gossip about their high school classmates. My sisters graduated when I was in elementary school. I do not know their classmates. I have been asking since 2014 to please keep me out of unimportant group messages. At first it was because my phone bill was increasing because they wouldn't stop, so I had to get unlimited data and text. Then I asked because the medical stuff was just gross to me. They laughed and said no and too bad. Finally one day after over 100 random texts I sent a message telling them to get me out of it because I don't care about useless drama and medical stuff, I said if it's important please tell me otherwise idc. Well last week my nephew had brain surgery and my sister didn't tell me because I don't want group texts. I told them that anything involving my nieces and nephews are important but I guess if I don't want an endless stream of group texts I don't deserve to be told about things at all. ######

Response: NTA. If they are sharing gruesome pics from work without written patient consent, it’s also illegal. ######


Prompt:
I’m in charge of a team of people (industrial designers, if it matters) whose jobs involve daily meetings with others in the company to collaborate on projects and usually two or three clients to touch base on progress.

I jumped onto a client discussion recently to check in on a large project, and to my surprise found the person responsible for the call in a tank top in their living room. We usually do business in a pretty formal setting, when we typically come to work the most casual we get are jeans button downs/polos/sweaters, though a lot of times we need to go full jacket and tie/blouse and blazer.

So I sent an email out basically saying “Reminder as we all adjust to this new meeting format, use a plain background free from clutter and wear what you normally would for the same meeting in person.”

I immediately got angry emails that I’m not being compassionate enough and it shouldn’t matter because the clients/other employees know we’re at home and that further I can’t control what they do at home.

If I worked at any other job I’d think “Huh, I guess I was out of line to request this.” But I work with some people who are prone to being a little over sensitive, maybe because they’re mostly new to the working world.

Am I the asshole for asking them to dress up for virtual meetings? ######

Response:
 NTA. If they are meeting among themselves I believe it would be okay for them to be a little lax in dress, but when meeting clients they should be dressed as they normally would be in person. It does not matter that the client knows they are working from home. It shows the client that they only dress the part for work and not because they respect the client. In other words, you usually have a dress code as a way to portray professionalism. It also shows the client you take them(and yourself) seriously. If your team members are in tank tops during client meetings it shows the client that they are not invested in the relationship the company has with the client. It’s about professionalism and respect.

Tl;dr. Should be professional and respectful  in client meetings and maintain dress code. Meetings among team members could probably be a bit lax. ######


Prompt:
Divorce is weird. One part of our settlement was subscription services such as Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc.

I had to legally maintain them for 6 months. I don’t know if I was being taken advantage of, but it’s far too late now. Yesterday, when the 6 months were up, I cancelled every single subscription service I had and got new ones with a new credit card.

My ex was furious. Apparently, a couple of her orders got “cancelled” because the account got deleted. I mean, it’s my account, she could only use it for 6 months, and she did. She’s also complaining that she can’t afford Netflix now, with just her unemployment check. Yeah, because Netflix is a necessity.

A couple of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because “she’s struggling”. Yeah, I honestly don’t care. She’s not my SO, nor is she my friend. She had a net negative impact on my life.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If these services were that important to her, she had six months to save up the money to purchase them for herself. You did nothing wrong. ######


Prompt:
My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy.

He said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste.

However, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting.

I usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends. He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “fucking duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends.

I wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a dick move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive? ######

Response: NTA. If there's food left over after the date then sharing it with his friends is NBD, but to do it beforehand seems inconsiderate to say the least. It sounds like he's telling you what his priorities are. ######


Prompt:
I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice.

TLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######

Response: NTA. If there was a video of me out there, I would want to know. Make it clear that you are not judging, it is completely her business and you're not telling anyone about it. You are only bringing it up because you don't think she is aware of the video, and if the roles were reversed you would want someone to tell you. There is really no way around the conversation being extremely awkward, but she does deserve to know ######


Prompt:
My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat.

My family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. They try to sneak him food behind my back. I tell him he’s getting plenty to eat but they say it’s cruel to leave a cat feeling this hungry, he’s begging food off people and looking for food all the time. They think he should be eating more, at least another can of food at lunchtime, and again I’m being cruel to him and not giving him what his body needs.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If the vet says he’s healthy keep doing what you’re doing.

There are cats that you can leave food out for and they will eat only when hungry... and then you have chonko cats who feel the need to eat everything in front of them.

Your cat meows and cries because he KNOWS someone will feed him. They’re reinforcing that behavior. When he gets whiny try distracting with playtime or toys or catnip or pets rather than food. ######


Prompt:
This argument happened over FaceTime but it was pretty big and my dad is furious at me and has been sending angry text messages so I’m taking it here.

I (32M) was FaceTiming my dad (57M) and his girlfriend (27F) on Tuesday when they surprised me that my dad had proposed. I don’t like my dads girlfriend and to be honest I think she’s only with him because he’s fairly well off. My dad cheated on my mum with the girlfriend and I’ve heard she was pretty ruthless in going after my dad and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I held my tongue and congratulated them and that was that.

Later that day I was skimming Facebook and his girlfriend has written this long Facebook post saying how excited she was to be getting married and that after 10 years together, she didn’t think he’d ever propose, how it had been a difficult start and lots of people didn’t accept their relationship (no shit, he was married) but she hopes everyone can be happy and accept they’re in love.

This pissed me off. She didn’t accept my parents were in love when she pursued my dad did she? So I commented saying maybe she would’ve been engaged before now if she had started dating a single man instead of running after married men.

My dad FaceTimed me this morning and BLEW UP saying he’d noticed his girlfriend upset and she’d eventually said something. Apparently she deleted the status but lots of people saw it. My dad is furious at me and says I need to apologise. I probably didn’t help by asking if she would apologise to me for ruining my family and destroying my mother.

My dad is now saying unless the next thing he hears from me is an apology, he doesn’t want to hear from me. I mentioned this to my girlfriend (32F) and she’s very diplomatic and doesn’t say anyone is an asshole so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong and should just apologise.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If the girlfriend can shamelessly publicly post like that after all they’ve done, then she deserves the post to be exposed like that. People who can cheat that badly don’t deserve the benefit of doubt.

10 years?? Doesn’t that mean that she was 17 and your dad was 47??? ######


Prompt: i like to play guitar a lot. lately, ive been playing it more than usual because ive had time off. im not sure why, but my girlfriend isnt the biggest fan of me playing. maybe she just things im bad at it lol but usually when im playing, she’s upstairs anyway. i know its not because she wants me to spend time with her instead because every time i try to spend time with her shes on her phone. anyway, today i came home from publix and as soon as i came in, i saw she had thrown it down the stairs. there were no major damages (two of the strings popped, and the body has a hole in the bottom) and i know its just a stupid instrument but i feel like she shouldnt be throwing my stuff around so i told her to go home and i havent been talking to her. ######

Response:
 NTA. If someone you're in a relationship has no problem treating your possessions like trash, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.

Also, if she never wants to spend time with you anyway and would rather just use her phone, why are you two even dating? ######


Prompt:
I got a Johnny Walker black label I usually share with people that don't like whiskey or wanna mix it with coke.

I currently live overseas so I only have a couple of bottles of a bourbon I particularly like. It's very expensive where I live and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to the States to get more.

WIBTA if I tell my friend she can't have my bourbon if she mixes it? ######

Response: NTA. If someone told me this is super expensive liquor and I don’t share, I’d shrug and say ok. Ok well I would maybe ask if I could try the tinsiest sip to say I’ve tried it, but I wouldn’t be pissed if that was a no. Alcohol is expensive!! Though if you offer and she says “yeah with coke” and then you say “oh you can’t have it then” that comes off pretentious and a bit rude. Ask how they take their whiskey first before deciding which to offer. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (preteen age) loves this TV show (I’m going to be vague for anonymity) and I applied on a whim. We got invited on the show and did some fun competitions for an episode. We didn’t win but my daughter still talks about it all the time.

My daughters father is not very involved. He shows up with ridiculous presents every once in a while but we don’t hear from him unless I encourage my daughter to call him. If it weren’t for his child support check showing up once a month, I wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive. He and I don’t talk.

I didn’t tell him about the show. The way I see it is that I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter and I don’t need his permission for anything. However, he found out about the show from his father (my daughter told him) and called me yelling at me for taking her on the show and not asking for his consent. He accused me of exploiting her for fame and misusing his child support. I ended up hanging up on him because he wouldn’t stop yelling. Am I the asshole for taking her on the show without telling or asking him? ######

Response: NTA. If someone isn't involved with the kid, they aren't involved in decisions regarding the kid. It sounds like your daughter enjoyed it and she is happy about the experience. That's the only person's opinion who should matter in this case. ######


Prompt:
Sorry this is long ... Anyway, I was once happily married with a newborn baby.
My sister on the other hand is a heroin addict and found herself evicted from her house and child services found her children malnourished and emaciated after having missed 92 days of school so they were taken from her.
So I took her into my home.
Once there, I had a long heart to heart with her and I told her I was going to pay for her to go to rehab. I took out a hefty personal loan to fund this, which I am still paying off.
After her stint in rehab she had to be signed into the care of somebody who was responsible for keeping her clean, once again I was all too happy to do it. The day she came home with me, she prostituted herself to my husband for drug money and overdosed that day.
My marriage effectively ended and she ended up dating him for several months!
7 years have passed now and I have heard from my family that she has now turned her life around and is a strong member of her local church and has even been baptized. They have been hounding me and hounding me that I should reach out to her and try to mend our relationship.
Im just not buying it. I feel like this is all just an angle she's playing and she hasn't changed at all, but now it's like I'm the asshole for not reaching out to the woman who destroyed my life because "she's changed" ######

Response: NTA. If she’s so “changed” she should be reaching out to you begging for forgiveness! ######


Prompt:
During high school, I (F) was experimenting with my style and found that I was more comfortable in men's clothing. I started wearing suites a lot and love colorful ties and bow ties. My Mum is super conservative and obsessed with gender roles and went a while where she couldn't look at me without crying. When I decided to shave my head she wouldn't even look at me.

Eventually I started seeing her again but she is always twitchy and nervous, solely due to the fact that I was wearing men's clothing. She refused to even talk to me until I took my tie off, which is really upsetting to me, and I was tired of bending to her whims, so I told her that I would not take my tie off unless she took her bracelet off, which she was visibly hurt by. She said that I was being unreasonable and silly, and that she just needed time, yet she has had over two years by now. She still won't even call me by the correct name.

I feel guilty whenever I kind of prod her into accepting me, because she seems so fundamentally hurt by who I am. AITA for not wearing women's clothing around her and making her take off something if she wants me to take my tie off? ######

Response: NTA. If she's hurt by who you are, she's the problem. You shouldn't have to comprimise. You're not prodding her into accepting you, she's trying to change you. ######


Prompt:
I have a friend who i found out some time ago to be an anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated, believing that vaccination causes autism and that they dont want "chemicals" in her future kids. Ive tried over multiple occasions to tell them that these beliefs are not true when the subject is brought up by them, but they never listen or believe what i say.

&#x200B;

Some of the things about this that annoyed me at the beginning was her refusal to get shots for her overseas travels and she gets sick at the drop of a hat. Whenever i see her she always says shes just coming off a cold or flu, which annoys me because she doesnt stop to consider myself catching a cold from her or anyone else when were out. She is constantly sick in some way or form.

&#x200B;

But some of the more recent concerns i have had was her declaration that she wanted kids in the future (she is still single and young) and for them to be un-vaccinated for the above reasons.
They also started to expand their side job and she is within contact newborns and young kids, which made me uncomfortable due to these kids being at risk to catching her colds let alone anything else she could contract on her travels at some point.

&#x200B;

WIBTA if i told her that she shouldnt have or work with kids if shes an antivaxxer/not vaccinated? ######

Response: NTA. If she works in the facility near babies and kids I think you should report to her place of work that she admired to not have been vaccinated. If her place of work even cares about this. Bc here not being vaccinated can lead to those kids and babies losing their lives... it her choice of not vaccinated. If you want you can show her those facebook groups of people who regret never vaccinating their kids and themselves after loosing their own kids due to the other kid carrying a preventable diseases that they passed along to their baby siblings or parents doing that to their babies/kids. I didn’t stay in that page long it’s just heartbreaking. ######


Prompt:
So, my Ex has been kind of rude and inconsiderate to me even before we broke up. She decided to cheat on me while i was mourning the loss of my Dad and during the week of my birthday (sucks ass) her "birthday present" to me was telling me in detail about her fucking 3 guys that week. I know it sounds crazy and like it belongs in thathappened, but bear with me.

So onto the story: Last week I looked at my bank account and noticed that a charge had been made for close to $40 of wendys on Postmates. The only person that could have done it was this Ex. I called them up to ask, what the hey man, they said, "oh yeah that was me lol" and trash talked me to her friends that were with her while I was on the phone. I just wanted the $40 back, wasn't rude just wanted a refund. I tried to get in contact with her on multiple platforms, where she read the messages and ignored them. I ended up calling my bank to report it as fraud and gave them my ex's info.

I low-key feel like the asshole as she may lose her job over this. She works at a bank. My S/O has told me that, she's a grown woman and knows better than to use other people's info, ESPECIALLY if they work at a bank.

AITA?

TL,DR: my ex used my credit cart to buy $40 dollars worth of food, refused to pay me back. I reported her for fraud and not feel like TA cuz she may lose her job. ######

Response: NTA. If she works at a bank she definitely knows better. ######


Prompt:
I live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup.

One of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.

Every time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.

Last week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.

On the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said "Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?"

She was like "did you come here just for this?" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.

She got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.

The cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.

Lucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.

I feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.

AITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ######

Response:
 NTA. If she was sincere about paying her share she'd have been thankful for that reminder. The fact that she got pissed off meant that she never intended to pay her share. Ain't nobody got time for leeches.

Edit: Thanks for the award! ######


Prompt: For context, this is on discord. I’m 18 and my little sister is 12. I recently came upon a server that she’s in, and found out that she had been telling people she was 17. That really didn’t sit right with me, especially considering she was talking to a boy who was 18. They keep flirting and it’s making me worry about her safety, putting herself out there like that when she’s so young. I’ve been thinking about messaging the staff of the server quietly and also telling the boy, but I don’t want to make it a public matter. The reason I’m making this post is that I’m worried that I’ll damage her friendships with people and/or my own relationship with her. I don’t know if this is the right course of action. WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. If she was just claiming to be 13 to get round discord's age limit I'd tell you to leave it but claiming to be 17 and flirting with an adult is too dangerous for her to be allowed to continue. Both for her and for the guy. ######


Prompt:
So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class.
Till this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character.
AITA ?? ######

Response:
 NTA. If she wants you to come to her doctor's appointments (or anything else) then she needs to schedule it for a time that works for both of you.

It's a huge display of immaturity for her to still try to hold this against you. Next time she brings it up you should ask her why this is her go to incident.

Talk it out with her. Maybe she was really scared and didn't have the words to tell you how important it was for you to be there. Maybe she just thinks that you are wrong. Maybe she thinks you aren't supportive of her. But you would be better off if you found out her reasoning and asked her to discuss what she's trying to accomplish by bringing that back up again and again. She probably feels like it's an unresolved or ongoing issue in your relationship.

But if it bothers you then you need to either find a way to resolve this or back out of the relationship. Because what she is doing is not right. And if you guys can't resolve this now then it's going to continue to be a problem later. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I adopted our oldest son in 2016, and biologically he is my husband's nephew (his mom is my husband's sister). Anyway, she had been making poor life choices for quite some time, but it ultimately came to a head in 2014, when her drug usage caused her to lose all of her kids. She went to prison for a while, and when she got out and reached out to us, we asked our son if he wanted to talk to her (he's gonna be 18 at the end of this year, he was definitely old enough to understand and make the choice.) He said yes, and they had phone and letter contact until about a year ago, when we finally let them meet in person (supervised). She was staying clean and generally doing good for herself for a while, to the point where my son was actually kinda proud of her. Then she got with a guy that is just terrible, and entered a downward spiral from there.

She stopped trying to get ahold of my son frequently, if at all. He never talked to me about how it made him feel, and I never pushed it as he doesn't react positively to that sort of thing.  Then Mother's Day rolled around. I hadn't expected him to say anything to me, seeing as how I'm not his bio mom and he knows it. He went out of his way to find me before I left for work (he was staying at his girlfriend's house the night before), told me happy mothers day and gave me a huge hug.

I thought it was awesome. I had a great day and after I got home from work I had a text from his bio mom.  "Happy mothers day tell [name] that I love him have him call me sometime"

She nows how to get ahold of him. She just chose not to contact him directly, and when I asked him if he told her happy mother's day, he just said "no".

My husband is a little mad that I didnt prod him to tell her, and my parents told me "well thats still his mom", but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she wants to have a relationship with her bio son, then she needs to put in the work. And if he wants nothing to do with her? Then that's his business. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food.

This upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.

Am I being unfair here? ######

Response: NTA. If she wants to eat a different diet from the rest of the family, then she needs to make her own meals. I went through the same thing as a teenager, and it was no big deal. It actually helped foster a love for cooking and got me ready for the big wide world. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)

I (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us.

I'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking "old." She has had botox/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.

Since getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles.

We argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it.

Recently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.

TL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######

Response: NTA. If she wants to constantly play that weird age game then she had it coming. Especially when she basically shamed you afterwards too. Seems like she got real full of herself after that surgery ######