Prompt: I guess the question isn’t if I’m an asshole for just being on the site in general. It’s more like, I hold the guys I meet on there accountable for the things they promised. For this not familiar with it, but the site is for younger girls to meet older men who are willing to date in exchange for money. It’s not straight up prostitution, I’ve been on plenty of dates and never had sex. But most of the dates don’t even happen, it’s just talking on the phone and communicating for a bit. The issue I have run into EVERY TIME is that when it’s time to send money or when I ask for a gift, they act like I’m some gold digger. Am I? Probably. But it’s MORE than apparent what my intentions are. I’m 24 years old chatting with 60 year old men and they are shocked that I’m not doing this for free. A couple of them have gone off on me for being “such a slut” when ALL I’m doing is asking for the things they promised, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

They're just cheap and trying to get what's clearly advertised at a cost,  for free.

Or maybe they're delusional enough to think they can so charm you that you won't be able to resist waiving your fee.

And  you already know what the name calling is about..salty when they realize they're not that charming.

Fuck em. ######


Prompt:
I am a graduate student in Illinois.  I sometimes hang out with a few international students from India and Pakistan. I was invited to go to a local Indian restaurant to eat with 5 friends.   When we arrived at the restaurant we ordered food.  It seemed like most of the table ordered food to share instead of just for themselves.  I just ordered for myself as that is what I normally do when I go out to eat.  During the course of the meal, several of the people offered to share some of their food with me.  At the time, I thought it was so I could try new food. I initially declined saying "I would like to eat just my food".  As the evening continued the friends continued to ask me to try their food.  After the fourth time asking, I agreed.  As we left one of the friends said she would pay for the table and we would pay her back.

A few days later, I was asked to pay $35 for my portion of the bill. The total bill for the table was $75.  My meal was $15.  What happened was they expected me to pay half of everything I tried.  Which I thought was unfair due to them offering it to me several times.   I asked my friend about this and was told that is what they do. I paid what I was told I owed but came across as very annoyed about it during the discussion about it.    I told them that since I was offered the food I should not be expected to pay it.  What do you guys think? Is it simply a cultural or communication issue? ######

Response:
 NTA.

They took advantage of you. Cultural or not, that is just wrong. Sorry you have shitty friends. ######


Prompt:
This happened years ago but I was recently thinking about it and got mad all over again. I’ve talked about it to and there’s some people that think I was in the wrong so I figured I’d ask reddit for your opinion.

When I was 18 I started working at a pet store. I felt I was a good employee. Honest and hard working. They didn’t like that I didn’t pressure people into financing dogs though. I still did my job and sold a fair of animals. After a few months it started to wear on me because of how horrible the animals were treated. At least one of the dogs or cats was sick at all times and one even died. So I started looking for a new job. I eventually found one at a gas station and put in my two weeks notice. The issue was that I put in the notice the day before I went on vacation for two weeks because my husband was coming home on leave from Iraq. They told me if I didn’t actually work those two weeks then it wouldn’t count and I would not ever be able to work there again.

I had put in for vacation time a month ahead of time so my shifts were already covered. Since the point of two weeks notice is to give them time to hire someone else, why would it matter if I actually worked those two weeks or not? Anyway, when my husband got home we moved an hour away from the gas station I was working at so I had to quit. I was desperate for a job and there was another location of that pet store near our new apartment so I figured I’d try. They definitely communicated with the other location and refused to hire me. ######

Response:
 NTA.

The two week's notice is really more of a courtesy so your employer has time to fill the vacancy; whether or not you're on vacation is besides the point. ######


Prompt: I(f18) have always been uncomfortable with my mom(f53) posting pictures of me and information about me on Facebook. She’s been doing it for over 10 years and posts multiple times a day. Any time she would take a picture of me I would try to cover my face or make a shitty face so she couldn’t post it. Her Facebook has a lot of private information and really horrible, ugly photos of me on it. It even has pictures of me naked when I was young. I’m extremely uncomfortable with all this information being out there for anyone to see especially since I’m about to join the work force. Ive talked with her about it before but she only agreed to stop tagging me in posts (without deleting the old ones she tagged me in) and continues to attach my name to the images. WIBTA if I told her to delete everything she has of me off face book or to delete the account altogether. ######

Response:
 NTA.

The pictures have you in them, and you didn’t give your consent to be posted online. If she refuses, you can report them to Facebook and they can remove them. ######


Prompt:
 I'm 21f and I'm married to my beautiful wife in December. We been together since eighth grade and engaged. In the end of November, she got diagnosed with cancer and her job's health insurance wasn't the best. The company I work for has better health insurance. The only way I can get her on my health insurance if I married her. So we went to the courthouse and got married. We decided to still act engaged and planning a wedding in December since we both love winter wonderland theme.

 Someone in my family found out and posted on social media. Everyone is mad and stressing out my wife who is on chemotherapy. I told everyone the reason and please stop stressing out my wife.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

The douche canoe who outed your marriage on Social media is an A1 Asshole, and your family is pretty shitty for not being understanding. After you explained the situation to your family, did they calm down or continue to be dicks about it? ######


Prompt:
So I used to babysit for a old high school friend and loved working for them they had two kids a little girl who just turned two and a boy who was 8. They were very well behaved kids and I really enjoyed watching them. The mom had asked me to come to the girls 2nd birthday party and I said yes without hesitation and really looked forward to the food the dad said was gonna be there. Well the day comes and I'm told to be there at 1 and I showed up and no one was there yet and nothing had been set up and when I asked if I got the time wrong the mom said "no your right in time to start setting things up" and started pointing to all the boxes of decorations.  At first I thought that maybe she had asked for help and I didn't hear it so I put my gift I got her down and grabbed a box and started setting up. The dad eventually starts the grill and I'm thinking that ok they gonna start helping but no they come and tell me that they going to get ready and to keep an eye on the baby.

I didn't know what was going on but I was starting to figure it out slowly and when guests start showing up  they finally come out of their room and get drinks and snacks ready and when one of their guest asked where do they set the gifts down the mom who was holding the two year old walks over to me hands me the child and said I've had plenty of time to set up and can watch the baby while she fixes everything I messed up (apparently the gifts were supposed to go on a table that I didn't have time to set up).

I set the child down and grabbed my bag and walked out. Within 10 minutes my phone was blowing up asking where I went and calling me a asshole for leaving and it's my fault the baby got into some of the gifts cause I left and so on. I seriously thought they invited me cause I was apart of their lives and they wanted me to be a guest. I don't think I was a asshole for leaving but I've got about 20 text saying otherwise. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

The deceived you into coming and then tried to get free child care out of it.

You owe them nothing and were 100% in your rights to leave. ######


Prompt:
For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me.

I’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me.

In my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.

Now on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan.

That made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ######

Response:
 NTA.

The behaviour they are displaying is 100% biphobic/panphobic. They are treating the LGBTQI+ community as an exclusive club that you have to be a certain way to get into and mimicking the very attitude that LGBTQI+ stands against. It is YOUR choice to identify as the sexuality that you do, and not theirs to tell you what you can and can't do. Even if you were an ally, and not queer, they still wouldn't have an excuse to not want to go to pride with you on those terms. That's not what friends do and is extremely childish on their part. ######


Prompt:
Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault.  The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.

My sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough.  I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work.  She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me.  Her biggest insult she always calls me is "divorce baby" and I hate it with a passion.  Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over.  I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.

Her birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down "happy birthday" and called it a day.  My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby.  She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

That’s a horrible thing to call someone good God. Of course you weren’t going to get her a gift, what did people expect? ######


Prompt:
Alright. So, kids are definitely a far off thing. I’m still under 18 and I don’t personally feel prepared to raise a kid, nor do I think I will be for the next good few years. But today some of my friends were talking about what they want their kids name to be (again just hypothetical future kids, none of my friends are actively pregnant). I chimed in, saying that I’ve always liked the name Laura. One of my fairly close friends asked if I’m really fit to be a mom or if it’d be unfair to the kid. Here’s the thing- I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. It does impact my life obviously, but I can still do most normal people things.

I removed myself from the conversation to think for a while. I’ve never really thought fully about whether I want kids, but I certainly never thought that it’d be unfair to the kid just because I can’t walk. I PMd my friend asking if she really thought that it’d be unfair after the group chat convo moved on, and she doubled down and said yeah because kids deserve normal parents, and it’s unfair that I would take that away from them. Honestly idk what to think now. I’m a bit upset, but I don’t want to make a scene or anything. And I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and maybe she’s right. ######

Response:
 NTA.

That was rude and uncalled for. Why are they your friend? ######


Prompt: I went over to this guys house to hook up. I am 19 years old, female, and live with my parents while I attend college. They are strict Christians. I do not have enough to move out as rent is a minimum of 1k a month where I live and minimum wage is 8 an hour. Anyway I got back and my mother took my car and has grounded me. Which was whatever. My mother said no hookups in her house or some bullshit so it’s whatever. Well, I made the fucking mistake of going to the grocery store with her. And, I forgot I still had a super super faint hickey mark. She screamed at me in the middle of the store and got home and told my fucking dad. I am BEYOND EMBARRASSED right now and extremely angry. I understand their house their rules but my sex life is not their business!! AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

That really sucks. You're 19 and, whilst you're still young, you definitely shouldn't be treated like a child anymore. *Grounding you*? Really?

Hopefully you get to move out soon and have your space. ######


Prompt:
I’m 20, when I was 18 my father told me that I have an older half-brother(23) we officially met when I was 19, from day one I knew there was something off about him, he really gave off bad vides so I did my best to keep a distance.

But my Dad started inviting him to our family holidays, my brother kept on being really odd around me, making weird comments about my appearance and obsessively complementing me, he had a hard time keeping eye contact and always fiddled with a pocket knife he kept in his pocket.

I honestly disliked being around him because of how odd he is. He send me a message of him Confessing his “love”for me,  I told him he’s disgusting told all our family and family friends about his gross confession.

My dad was angry at me, probably because he feels guilty for not being involved in his life. He told me I’m an awful person for exposing my brother like that and that he’s going through some mental heath issues and that I should’ve kept quiet, I don’t see him as my brother just some stranger who happens to share the same dad.

Am I really the asshole for showing everyone my brothers true colours ######

Response:
 NTA.

Telling the rest of the family was a very smart move because Dad's guilt over not being there for him is overshadowing his protective instincts for you, his daughter.

Now everyone else knows something isnt right and can monitor the brother's interactions with you.

Absolutely stay far away from the pocket knife weilding person expressing inappropriate love for you. ######


Prompt:
My friend does not use social media and does not have a Facebook account. She’s not off the grid or worried about online privacy, she just doesn’t use it. Her dog has its own Instagram account though, FWIW.

She wanted to do a livestream yoga class that the instructor is putting on weekly and therefore needed to be able to sign into Facebook. She asked for my login credentials, saying that I could change my password afterwards. She is doing the class weekly.

I declined to give her my info and she is still salty about it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Tell her to create a facebook account for her dog.  She can use that. ######


Prompt:
My father was born in ‘77 and my husband was born in ‘79. I just so happened to be born in ‘94. Now the age difference between my husband and I does not bother me in the slightest bit. Nor does it bother my grandparents or my siblings only my dad.

My father didn’t raise me. I lived with my grandparents my entire life and I feel like my dad is more like my brother instead of a father and that my grandfather is more like a father to me. My grandfather is 72.

Every time we have a family get together my father treats my husband like garbage and my husband is actually very good to me. He loves me unconditionally. I have full trust in him and we are expecting a little boy in November. He’s a sweet man who cried upon hearing the news and has pampered me since the day we found out.

But my dad says it’s “weird” that they are so close to the same age and I got so tired of him belittling my husband and making him the joke of the evening and I told him “you didn’t raise me, Mamaw and papaw did while you ran around getting drunk all week and hanging out with women, you didn’t even call me on my birthday last week and I doubt you even know what day it was on or even how old I am. I didn’t buy you anything for Father’s Day and bought papaw something instead because you weren’t a father. You were just an over glorified brother and I don’t care if you are uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for me to have a 9 year old brother and my 5 year old daughter has a 9 year old uncle but I don’t go making running jokes about it every time I see you. No one cares that you’re uncomfortable”

Well he got pissed to say the least and stormed off. My stepmom is berating me over it and saying I need to be kinder to my father but enough is enough. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Stand your ground. It sounds like your father is more worried about how he thinks things look than how things are. He isnt concerned for your wellbeing (a reasonable parental feeling) so much as throwing a tantrum that you made an adult decision he doesnt like. ######


Prompt:
I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.

But my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped.

And my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.

They’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Sounds like you've outgrown your immature friends. I hope you can find some more accepting ones, in addition to your boyfriend's friends! ######


Prompt:
My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.

Yesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 /10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10/10

He accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######

Response:
 NTA.

Sometimes you need to give your friends a reality check. He kept constantly complaining about how he couldn't find a single person because he's only looking for people he deems as a 10/10 when he could already have someone if he lowered bis expectations a bit. ######


Prompt:
first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize.

a little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that.

so back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left.

few days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.

fyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already.

so i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######

Response:
 NTA.

She’s rude and insensitive and the whole offering up her daughter like she owns her is just disgusting.

Do not apologise. She’s the one who owes you an apology as well as her daughter.

If she’s stopped talking to you I’d count that as a win. Can you imagine if she actually was your MIL?! Blegh.

Facebook drama every time you didn’t do as she said. PFO. ######


Prompt:
So I (F19) had an argument with my step mom and dad the other night. It wasn’t related to my clothing but because of the argument, my step mom started listing off things the doesn’t like that I’ve been doing.
One of those things, the thing I believe is unreasonably at best and highly misogynistic at worst, is that I need to be dressing more modestly around the house. She “hates to see my ass and tits hanging out all the time”.  She also said “I don’t know why you dress like that around your father.” Which I find to be disgusting. So let’s break it down..
•She is 15 weeks pregnant
•She does not leave her room EVER (which I understand because I’m a mom too)
•I have been living here three weeks and neither of my parents have complained until now about ANYTHING.
•I have followed all of the rules they bothered to tell me upon moving in.
•I paid rent on time plus groceries which was nearly half of my monthly paycheck.

She and I have butt heads before because I am an atheist and she is Mormon. They want me to come to church, I refuse. They want to teach my toddler daughter about God, I refuse. So the relationship there is already unsteady.
I told her that she obviously has a lot of internalized misogyny to try and slut shame me over my clothes. She thinks I need to apologize for saying that and now my dad is accusing me of ruining their marriage.
But the way I see it, she refuses to accept me for who I am, she doesn’t respect my beliefs the way I’ve respected hers, and now she’s telling me that I have no self-respect because of the way I dress. I feel as though she owes me an apology. I just made her a birthday cake from scratch and and homemade frosting because the canned stuff makes her sick. I thought we’d bond more now that she’s pregnant and we had something in common. But I suppose not.
I’m truly hurt by what she said and I’m hurt that my dad is blaming me for her being angry with him. ######

Response:
 NTA.

She's in a cult, and was probably raised by one. The last thing you want to do is expose your children to that, except to warn them away from anything related to it.

Your dad knows she's in the wrong, but he's weak and a coward, and he knows that the easiest solution is for you - the reasonable one - to acquiesce for the sake of keeping the peace. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a new mother, my son is 3 weeks old. Forgive me for any mistakes, I didn’t sleep much last night.

My sister lives with us, we own our house, she doesn’t pay rent, she lives with us because she can’t afford to live on her own. I had hoped she’d move out before I gave birth but she didn’t.

I normally feed our son in our bedroom or his room, but yesterday my husband and I were watching tv, and I was holding him and he got hungry, and I was tired and didn’t want to go upstairs just to feed him and be stuck alone. My sister was out buying groceries(that we are paying for) so I didn’t think it would be a problem.

She came home in the middle of me feeding him and freaked out saying it was gross to do that in the living room and to go somewhere private, and she didn’t want to see my tits(her words).

I didn’t have the energy to explain why I didn’t go upstairs so I just went into the bathroom with him. But now she’s making comments whenever I’m holding him like “don’t take your tits out here”. I’m just tired, I don’t think it was really that big a deal, and werrr fucking paying for the house. Also, would I be an asshole if I told her to go fuck herself because I really want to. ######

Response:
 NTA.

She's got a lot of nerve for complaining about breastfeeding for someone figuratively suckling at your teat. ######


Prompt:
I have never wanted kids. I have made this clear to every person I have dated. When I married my now ex, she knew this. She was okay with it, or so I thought. 3 years in, she mentioned adoption and I shut it down, reminding her I never wanted kids and that children deserve a parent who wants them. She stayed with me for another 3 years and eventually filed for divorce 2 years ago. I wasn’t surprised because outside the kid thing, we had other issues.

We got married in our 40s, so by the time we divorced we were in our 50s. I moved out and didn’t see her for awhile after the final meeting. Then one night recently I decided to take advantage of my favorite restaurant having outdoor dining again. As I was eating, my ex approached me. We made small talk and eventually she said she was angry with me. This took me off guard. She told me that I “stole the best years of her life” and “because of you, I’ll never have kids”.

I laughed in her face. I said she knew going in I didn’t want kids and why should I bend on that? I said if she feels guilty for not having a baby, it’s on her not me. She got even more upset and left.

My brother thinks I could’ve handled it better and not laughed at her. I think she was being ridiculous but am willing to admit I might’ve been an asshole. So, was I? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She was being ridiculous, would've been hard not to laugh. ######


Prompt:
first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize.

a little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that.

so back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left.

few days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.

fyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already.

so i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######

Response:
 NTA.

She sounds entitled,  mean and petty.

Good for you for leaving.

Sorry for your loss, losing someone is always tough, and I suppose this isn't helping.

Stay strong ######


Prompt:
My husband and I adopted our oldest son in 2016, and biologically he is my husband's nephew (his mom is my husband's sister). Anyway, she had been making poor life choices for quite some time, but it ultimately came to a head in 2014, when her drug usage caused her to lose all of her kids. She went to prison for a while, and when she got out and reached out to us, we asked our son if he wanted to talk to her (he's gonna be 18 at the end of this year, he was definitely old enough to understand and make the choice.) He said yes, and they had phone and letter contact until about a year ago, when we finally let them meet in person (supervised). She was staying clean and generally doing good for herself for a while, to the point where my son was actually kinda proud of her. Then she got with a guy that is just terrible, and entered a downward spiral from there.

She stopped trying to get ahold of my son frequently, if at all. He never talked to me about how it made him feel, and I never pushed it as he doesn't react positively to that sort of thing.  Then Mother's Day rolled around. I hadn't expected him to say anything to me, seeing as how I'm not his bio mom and he knows it. He went out of his way to find me before I left for work (he was staying at his girlfriend's house the night before), told me happy mothers day and gave me a huge hug.

I thought it was awesome. I had a great day and after I got home from work I had a text from his bio mom.  "Happy mothers day tell [name] that I love him have him call me sometime"

She nows how to get ahold of him. She just chose not to contact him directly, and when I asked him if he told her happy mother's day, he just said "no".

My husband is a little mad that I didnt prod him to tell her, and my parents told me "well thats still his mom", but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She kinda disappears from your son's life and still expects a congratulation on mother's day?

> but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.

Also this. If he's not interested, that's it. ######


Prompt: Hello friends. I am a T1 diabetic, so I need to keep my insulin in the fridge. Lately I’ve been staying with my girlfriend who lives with her parents, who are very kind to temporarily take me in. I got there yesterday and I was unpacking and asked her if I could put my boxes of insulin in her fridge. She looked a bit uncomfortable and said first that there’s no space. I said this is objectively not true because their fridge is massive (she has four siblings but none of them are at home now) and there’s literally hectares of space, and besides I don’t need that much. She moved on to the next excuse which is that it’s weird to have my medication out in the open like that for other people to see. This one has really hurt my feelings. I mean it’s not like I asked for this illness. I literally need it to live. I tried to explain this to her and she said it’s their property and I should respect what they want to do with it. She also asked me not to do my injections in front of anyone else which makes me feel asif she’s somehow ashamed of me and my condition ######

Response:
 NTA.

She is iiterally telling you that you can't have your insulin because it makes people uncomfortable. I see that as a complete dealbreaker. ######


Prompt:
I’m a senior in HS. In December one of my classmates got into a bad car accident that did a lot of damage. She had several surgeries, and is in need of more for her face. Her insurance won’t cover it, hence the GoFundMe.

I was never friendly with this girl. She spread nasty rumors about a friend of mine, and I always had a tainted view of her. Outside of that incident I never talked to her, and didn’t know she knew that I existed.

So my classmates are sending around a GoFundMe and a link to T-shirts for sale and I see that my artwork has been used!

My artwork has nothing to do with her cause, it was a Picasso style self portrait that was an assignment for class. I posted it to twitter. They were using it on T-shirts and in promotions without my permission.

I got into contact with the girl and her friend who is running everything and asked them to take my artwork off of their GoFundMe. At first they said that they didn’t know it was mine, and would credit me (they cropped my siggy our though...) I told them that I didn’t want it credited and preferred it to be taken down.

The told me they already had T-shirts, people recognized it for her GoFundMe. I honestly didn’t care. Then they started guilt tripping me about it, and I told them I would go through other means to get it taken down.

Then the girl posts screenshots of our DMs on her twitter, directing people at me, and telling them how heartless I am. I am getting tons of hate messages, and people telling me to just “let her use my shorty artwork.” I can’t even open up any social media without fear of getting shitty messages from my classmates.

I talked to my mom about it and she thinks I should have just kept quiet about it as it’s hard not to look like an asshole for refusing to let her use the image. I’m feeling pretty confused, because I think I have the right to say where my artwork goes. AITA for not letting her use my art? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Send DMCA takedown notice to GoFundMe to remove the artwork, since they refused to do it (more info at  [https://www.gofundme.com/terms](https://www.gofundme.com/terms) section Copyright Complaints). ######


Prompt: So recently, I moved out of the state to start a new job. My gf who I had been with for about a year, decided to follow me a few months later. She had assumed that I would get rid of the dog when she moved in, but I had no plans to. She gets weirdly jealous of the dog, and is insistent that she is in her cage whenever I am not directly petty or playing with it. She also thinks it is okay to yell at the dog for no reason when it is being well behaved. At this point I’m ready to call the relationship quits because I can’t stand the way she treats my dog. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

RED FLAGS. Red flags EVERYWHERE.

You made a commitment to that dog, to take care of her for her entire life. You shouldn't get rid of her, and your GF shouldn't expect you to. Also, the way your GF behaves towards your dog is a huge red flag. Allergic or not, how a person treats a dog is a big clue to how they will treat children in the future. ######


Prompt: My(18F) mother always likes using the phrase ‘I know each of my children individually’. She always says this when I ask why the rest of my siblings(13M and 26M) don’t do chores. Like she would go out for groceries or whatever then comes back in the evening and asks ME why there are still shoes in the entry way(not even mine), why there are dirty dishes in the sink(even though I did breakfast dishes expecting someone to do lunch dishes) and why the house is a mess. I used to just do whatever she says to avoid being confrontational but yesterday was when I reached my last straw. She came back from taking her car for a drive to ‘revive her engine’, it was literally like 20 minutes max, then she finds me in my room and starts telling me how irresponsible I am for expecting her to come back and do the dishes and clean up the living room while I just sat in my room doing nothing(my brothers where in the living room playing ps4).I retorted by saying that I’m not the only one in this house and she threw in her famous ‘I know each of my children individually’ quote and  this is where I might have been the AH cause I said that she only uses that phrase when she wants to manipulate me into doing chores that everyone should have an equal share in and that she always has such high standards when it comes to my life whereas she pampers my other siblings. She told me to lose my attitude and we haven’t spoken since then. My dad now wants me to apologize so that we reduce the tension inside the house and telling me that I should never speak to a parent like that. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Probably classic 'girls should do the chores, not boys' situation. Clean only after yourself and be super duper lazy. ######


Prompt: So my girlfriend's sister has opened an online store selling creams, misc hair products/ jewelry, and prints. I was pretty suspicious of what she is selling as she has a habit of putting the cart before the horse when trying to start up these little businesses of hers (she has a history of creating and abandoning small business ideas). She let me know she orders the cream from a supplier and resells it but claimed to make everything else herself. I've never known her to draw or anything artistic  so I looked into the prints and.. She is simply taking them from another artist online and rebranding it with her name before selling it. I tried to talk to my girlfriend about this who asked her sister but.. She just denied it and insisted its her original work. The artist online I found has been doing this for a while however and her sister only just started selling her goods... Am I the asshole if I alert the artist? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Please let the artist know that your girlfriend's sister is stealing other people's work. ######


Prompt: So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said "my boyfriend made me do it" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said "well i found it hilarious" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them  both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying "i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ######

Response:
 NTA.

People who rope other people into their kinks without consent are gross. Your friend is gross. Her boyfriend is gross. I  don't know if that counts as a rule 1 violation but...ew at both of them. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, but my ex fiancé broke up with me around six months ago. She was supposed to be looking for her own place by now but has been dragging her feet. When we separated, while sharing the house we both rent, we agreed on a roommate situation where we both pay our equal amounts of rent and cost of living expenses up until she moved. When July rolls around, this will be the third month in a row that she fails to pay rent. I have already started getting the utilities in my name, and not only am I paying all of that myself but I’m also paying all the rent too, which led me to tell her that come July 1, she needs to be on her way out and into her own place. She basically called me an asshole because I’m asking her to move out.

Am I really the asshole in this? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Pay up or get out. She's not your responsibility and you've already been far more kind than warranted. She can be mad at you all she wants, tfb. She calls you an asshole, but somehow doesn't realize she's a leech. She's using you and she has absolutely no right to. ######


Prompt:
Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was "Surprised anyone would wanna date you" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back "Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family." Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.

&#x200B;

So anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ######

Response:
 NTA.

Only you get to decide how you feel about your dad's impending death and if you've not had a good relationship with him then it's very reasonable to feel relieved on his death. You're under no obligation to feel sad simply because you two are related ######


Prompt:
my ex really wanted me to get a switch so i would play more games with him. I said over and over i didnt want one, i was happy with my ps4 and not super into games anyway. He kept insisting hed buy me one, even got mad at me when I said “absolutely not” to him spontaneously driving to gamestop to buy one when we were both very broke.
Then animal crossing came out, he insisted that i would like it, he got it and i made a villager on his island. Seemed alright. Then covid happened and i offhandedly remarked that “maybe i should have bought a switch afterall since everyone on earth is playing animal crossing.” But switches were sold out everywhere. I just got the animal crossing app on my phone and called it good.
We very briefly discussed that people were selling switches on ebay, to which i said “this is such a scam these are way too much.”
He brought it up a few times more, insisting that he *might* buy me one. I said “if you do, do NOT spend more than $300.”
A few weeks later he surprised me with a switch, i was grateful, and told him i hoped he didnt spend too much. I assumed it was a gift. Later that night he starts dropping hints that i now owed him for it. Hed paid $400.
I have been very clear how i feel about these “hostage” gift scenarios- i am very against being surprise forced into a financial obligation. I wasnt super surprised though as my ex was always insanely frugal and rarely (if ever) paid for ANYTHING without expecting me to pay for something in return. (When i paid for things, which was about 70% of the time, he was cool accepting it, though).
As to not start an argument, i reminded him that i was pretty broke at the moment, as id just spent a ton of money (on his birthday) but maybe when i had money i could chip in.
Anyway, we broke up about a month later and he immediately insisted i pay him for the switch, and for every drink he ever paid for, and for gas ect because he lived far and had to drive to see me.
I told him to eat a dick. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Oh, shit.

Is that how gifting things works?

I owe Santa SO MUCH.

Send help OP ######


Prompt:
This happened last year around October.

I was at home, it was a Saturday around five pm and someone knocked on my door. I'd only been home from work for about an hour after having been awake since four am, and I was sitting down eating my dinner. I went and opened the door, it was a group of people and they started singing church hymns. They'd stuck a flier to my door that basically said "hi, we're from the local church and we've decided to start having Singing Saturdays where we'll go around town blessing people with hymns to encourage you to come to church and hear the word of God on Sundays."

When I realized what was going on I stepped back inside and shut the door, shut the curtains and went back to my dinner. They stayed outside until the hymn was over and then moved on down the street to my neighbors.

Later on, I was on the neighborhood Facebook page putting up an ad in search of a lawn mower for cheap and I saw the church had posted about "our amazing afternoon on \[street\] and how most people were receptive to the word of the lord but there was a couple of hold-outs they'd be paying another visit to." Most of the comments on the post were putting those couple of hold-outs on blast and one of the church members actually described my house and the houses of the other couple hold-outs. I reported it but considering my house is the only yellow house on the street it's pretty obvious who one of the hold-outs was.

Anyway, I was out on the next few Saturdays and didn't encounter them again but was called out on the Facebook page for not answering my door this time.

Was I an asshole because I didn't want to stand there awkwardly while strangers sang at me? ######

Response:
 NTA.

No one should have religion shoved in their face like that. And the group shouldn't have outed the people that weren't interested. ######


Prompt:
Last year I (28F) decided to go back to school and my fiance (30M) supported me.

When his mom found out I was starting (we decided not to say anything until it was official) she flipped out.

Why? Because I wouldn't be around to do anything they (I drive his mom, sister, 6 nieces, and his foster brothers where they need to go because she won't drive) wanted me to at random times.

"It's inconvenient". I quit my last job because it was an inconvenience to them! Once she starts complaining, my fiance is usually guilted into agreeing with her. I'm just glad he makes enough so I don't have to work but, the problem is, I WANT TO!

I refuse to give up my future because nobody wants to drive!

I'm just waiting for them to learn that I start my internship in the fall! All hell's gonna break loose!

So AITA for "not caring about them and their feelings and needs" because I want to have a better future for my kids?? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Laugh in the faces of people who try to guilt trip you. Someone else will drive. ######


Prompt:
I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with "fuck off"

Anyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John.

On the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.

They stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.

I don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like "I'm out guys, anyone coming with?"

But it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.

AITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ######

Response:
 NTA.

John didn't take no for an answer. That's creepy and unacceptable.

Leaving to talk with your friends without him is perfectly acceptable.

If some of your friends don't like that (notably it sounds like they're only guys), then you've learned something about them too.

A suggestion for the future if you're willing to put in the effort: if something like this happens in the future, organize your other friends who are also creeped out to approach and talk to the friends who aren't. Explain the situation, and that you won't be participating in future gatherings (Zoom, in person, whatever) if a creeper will be there. Then move on and do things without the creeper, and invite your other friends. Who comes and don't will tell you something about them. ######


Prompt:
So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy

They then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.

So please tell me Reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Jesus Christ, get some new friends. Pestering you to pay them, even when you don’t owe them anything, is just straight up manipulative. ######


Prompt: Some context: I worked a 60hour work week job last year for like 4 months so I could buy some nice stuff (I’m 20) I bought all the parts for a fancy ass gaming PC, I’m talking RTX 2070, Liquid Cooling, you get it. Well I donated half of the parts from my last PC to my brother so he could build his own, that I built for him. The parts were like $300 in value including a monitor and whatever. Well recently he broke said monitor some how so now he feels the need to use my PC, it started with doing his online classes, because those are essential, so I get it. But now he wants to link his steam account and play fallout, on my PC that I slaved away for. I let him keep my Xbox one, I let him use my switch, I payed for both. But now for some reason he feels entitled to use my PC to play video games on instead of buying a $60 monitor for his working PC because he spent all his money on weed and AR-15 parts. I wasn’t having it so I called him out on it, because it seems very out of hand. He proceeded to blow up on me calling me selfish, and then told our mom and now they’re both shunning me because I won’t let him play Fallout 4 on my PC, which he also has for the Xbox. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s your PC, he isn’t entitled to its use. Why does he even he to use it if he has the same game on Xbox?

If the Xbox and Switch are yours, please take them from him if he is going to be this entitled about it. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for eventual errors: English is not my first language.

I (16F) live with my parents and my older sister (20F). I'm an average looking person: I'm tall 160cm, and my weight is 52 Kg (so, pretty normal: I'm not overweight -important to the story-), I have dark and curly hair, I mostly wear band shirts or movie shirts, and don't really wear makeup, except for eyeliner, and black lipstick sometimes.

Anyway, for the past 5 years, my mother always criticized everything I did with my appearance: she thinks my curly hair is ugly (... it's just my natural hair, and I love it), she thinks I don't wear enough makeup, she thinks I should dress more ladylike (hey, my Rammstein T-Shirt is as ladylike as I want it to be), etc...

The fact is, the thing she has criticized the most, is my weight. She always tells me how I should improve myself by, well, being the exact opposite of who I am, but she also wants me to exercise, so I can lose weight, because she thinks I'm too fat and that no one will like me if I keep being like this (my boyfriend strongly disagrees however).

But I DON'T WANT to lose weight, or modify my appearance in any way. It took years to me to love me as who I am. I love my hair, I love my face, I love my body and I love my weight (I actually gained more confidence in my appearance after gaining a little more weight, since I was 12).

I tried to talk to her about this many, many times, telling her I like myself as who I am, and I don't want to change, but everytime she just gets angry at me, saying that I am lazy and I just don't want to exercise, and that I should try and improve myself as any girl at my age. This has been going on for 4 years.

So AITA for not improving myself? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s one thing for your mother to be concerned if you just lay around the house without participating in any physical activity whatsoever, but if she’s focused specifically on your weight for no other reason than for the sake of your appearance, she can go kick rocks. ######


Prompt:
My(17M) brother(23M) is dating a girl(24F) for over a year. His girlfriend is just a really giving person and she came over our house today and she ordered food for her and my brother but she also offered to get food for my sister(19F) and I(17M) well we both took her up on that offer. My brother didn't seem to mind for the most part but now I'm getting text from him telling me that I should have said no to her buying me. He said she was just trying to be crudious and I wasnt suppose to say yes. AITA?

I should also add. I'm Frist generation Korean American. And she is white but she low key has yellow fever so she knows about Korean culture. If you didnt know in Korean culture it's just kind of a thing to show affection for people with food or to buy food for younger people you are close to. Like if I was going out to eat with a friend and his younger sibling I would pay because I'm thr oldest in my friend group and his sibling is obviously younger then me. It's just a thing. ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s not being courteous to offer something you don’t actually intend to give. If she didn’t want to buy you food, she shouldn’t have offered.   Unless you’re leaving some critical detail out, like you saw them ordering and were standing around hinting that you wanted some takeout too, you’re in the clear here. ######


Prompt:
So my husband and I have four kids. The one in question is our 16 year old daughter. I'd like to think my husband and I are quite progressive parents so we let her live her own life. She has a 17 year old boyfriend and they've been going at it for 8 months (I think). He's okay but crosses too many boundaries.

Against our requests he has a tendency of coming to the house unannounced, 'losing track of time' and asking us to give him a ride home at at 11 pm. When we talk to him about this he mutters something under his breath and goes off. When he was staying with us shortly before the whole 'rona mess, he was way too touchy with our daughter in our presence. This went from spanking her whenever she was bending over/leaning on something and openly snogging each other. We also suspect he stole my husband's cologne but that's just a suspicion.

Yesterday my husband and I were doing heavy cleaning around the house (it's been months) and I found a stain on one of the sides of a cushion. I thought it was nothing at first but my husband confirmed it was a cum stain. After a some investigating we crossed out everyone but my daughter. When we spoke to her she admitted that they had sex on the couch. The couch in the living room that all of us use. So we told her straight that he's not allowed in the house again.

She says we're overreacting but we're done. Are we the assholes in this case? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s a house that is shared amongst members of the family. That’s inappropriate. If they want to do anything, take it to the bedroom.

Another concern is that they might not be practicing safe sex. Your daughter is still very young and finding a cum stain on a couch is unsettling to say the least.

I think the measures you’ve taken is understandable and reasonable. If I were in your shoes, id suggest it too. It might be hard for her to see the bigger picture but I hope she’s able to understand it eventually. ######


Prompt:
My 16 year old brother was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 8 months ago, he has it fairly bad I think he can’t eat anything with lactose in it without having to leave in the bathroom for like 2 days afterward.

My mum has bought lactose free and vegan food to accommodate him while trying to not majorly change his diet. One sore spot for him is ice cream, he has vegan friendly ice cream in our freezer but claims it doesn’t taste the same. I’ve got no clue, I don’t eat it because I don’t want to limit the amount of food he can eat in the house.

So because of the recent hot weather where I live mums been getting more ice cream when she does the shopping. She buys a tub for each of us so there isn’t an issue with sharing ( she’s always done this I think it comes from being 1 of 8 kids growing up and sharing being difficult).

It was the afternoon and the temperature was at its peak so without really thinking about it I went and got my ice cream out and was sat on the sofa eating it, my brother comes down sees me and almost immediately starts shouting while demanding to know what I’m eating. I told him it was cookie dough ice cream and he wanted to know if it was suitable for him, I responded no because it wasn’t and he had a tube of chocolate in the freezer that he could eat.

He started shouting about how he is always left out and disrespected for being different, that he’s always bought shit ice cream and that if he has to make do with vegan ice cream everyone else should too, he then stormed up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could.

Mum and dad have opted to ignore it, they’re putting it down to a stress reaction, he’s asked me to apologise to him because he feels I was inconsiderate of his issues. I don’t think I need to apologise, he’s been offered pills that could help him eat lactose foods but refused them and he has got food options. Why do I have to change my diet for him or my eating habits for him?

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s a bummer situation for him, but he’s been given options and opted out.

Enjoy your damn ice cream. ######


Prompt:
I (28F) got engaged to a lovely bloke (38M) at Christmas, and I am super excited about it. We are getting married next year and I decided I ask my long term friends if they’d be a part of our special day, as my bridesmaids.

My sister and I have a mixed relationship, I personally feel I am the one who makes all the effort to maintain contact, and she only responds or messages me when she wants something. For example, I get her (and my niece) birthday and Christmas gifts and she conveniently forgets to even send me a card every time. We live in different cities and she has a child / is a single mum now so I get that it’s different now but how hard is it to respond to a text message?

I decided I didn’t want her to be a bridesmaid, she isn’t there for me and I can’t rely on her. A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, she FaceTimes me. We have a nice catch up and I find out she’s had a lot of stuff going on since December, which is why I haven’t heard from her. She then asks me why I haven’t asked her to be a bridesmaid, to which I respond that she isn’t one.

She begins to cry and says things such as “but I’m your sister” etc etc. She was also upset that I hadn’t invited her to come wedding dress shopping. Now I really hate upsetting people but I feel I’m being more than fair considering she hasn’t bothered to ask me a single question about my wedding plans since she found out I was engaged.

I don’t think I’m being an a-hole here, my friends, partner and my mum all agree with me, but she’s stopped responding to my messages again, so clearly she thinks I’m in the wrong. Everyone always sticks up for her and makes excuses, so I am glad that on this occasion people are on my side, but I don’t want her to use this an excuse to not bother coming to the wedding. I don’t hate her, I just don’t think she’s bridesmaid material. AITA?! ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's your wedding and if you don't think your sister will contribute or is able to be relied on, don't lose sleep over it. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.

The entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit.

He’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home)

I was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes.

I know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's your tip money and also money that will likely be needed for your son not his cigarettes. His behavior is incredibly entitled!

My ex used to do this all the time too refuse to work and expect me to pick up his habit it was awful. ######


Prompt:
So, as Disney Plus was coming to my country, I managed to convince my parents to get an account, only if it was through ma pocket money. So, I decided, eh. fuck it, imma get it. So, it was all sunshine and rainbows for a while until my dad asked for the password to give to one of his friends. I was reluctant at first but my dad managed to convince me to give the password. But, I realized that it was a bad idea to give the password in the first place and went to the account settings and logged all devices out except for mine, and I have not told my parents yet about the log out. So, by taking the account off of the friend, Am I the Asshole ?

(also some might think im a dumbfuck for giving the password in the first place but my dad is a very persuasive person) ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's your money. So you should be able to decide who gets to use it. If your parents were paying for it I would say differently. ######


Prompt:
I always had a bit of a weird family, especially my father side. Lots of mental health issues, too.

My dad died almost 3 years ago. It was cancer, so prolonged hospital stays - people had plenty of time to visit him in hospital in the last months of his life.

Obviously, when I knew the end was coming, I contacted his closest relatives. Most did not come.

My Aunt showed up in hospital for literally 10 minutes, said she's switching meds and "can't mentally handle it" and that was the last time I saw her.  My Uncle said he'd come, through a proxy, but was a no-show. Apparently he "did not want to see his big brother like that".

Now, I was never super close to that side of the family, but this ticked me off. I also suffer from depression and anxiety - yet, somehow, I had to bury my dad. Such is life.

I have not really reached out to them since. And really, they have not done do either. There was talk of doing a "celebration of my father's life" somewhere in a park, but it never materialized.

Recently I heard from another relative that my Aunt's husband has cancer. Terminal,  so the're kind of trying to make the most of the last  months/years.

Yet even hearing this I feel no desire to reach out to her. I feel...nothing. I don't feel like I need to support her while I've had zero support from her.

I've even been thinking of cutting legal ties as much as possible.

AITA if I just cut most of my dads family out because I feel like they cared zero shits about my dad and me and I don't feel I need them in my life? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's your life and you don't have to be there for people who weren't there for you if you don't want to. ######


Prompt: So she’s been learning to play video games, she’s not that bad but obviously is nowhere near as good as the maniacs who play online. So I said if she plays while my PSN is logged in I’d prefer if she plays offline or against the computer. And if she absolutely has to then please not on FIFA because I don’t want to get demoted. Idk if she watches porn on it or does whatever but that’s the only thing I care about and that’s my conditions if she plays on my console, is not to ruin my online profiles. She accepted these terms which I thought was fair. But I came home from work and nabbed her playing FIFA on my account. I had spent soooooooo much time getting to Division 1 and winning the title. Blood sweat and tears. And she got demoted all the way to division 4. For anyone who doesn’t know that means you’d have to lose at least 20ish games in a row, usually I just stop playing when I’ve lost 4 games in a row bc that mans I’m tilted You guys might think it’s ridiculous and I should get a life but I really care about that garbage game lol. But I told her that look I asked you to do only one thing and you still violated my trust so I said that for the time being I’m not at all comfortable with her playing on my console. She said she’s sorry (in fairness to her this is very mature) and I said I appreciate it for apologizing but I just need to regain trust in you before I want to let this be a thing again. I offered to contribute 75% of the costs of buying a console just for herself but she declined as she says she doesn’t see herself playing much and she wishes she could play on my console again. Just now I overheard her on the phone to her sister and she says that she thinks I’m being unnecessarily harsh and a tad bit controlling and I’m going overboard. I’m just not comfortable with it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's one thing to use this account and not realise what she's doing but you'd explained to her not to use it. And she disrespected your wishes. She obviously knows you're passionate about the game because you must play alot around her. I take the video game part out of the equation when deciding because it doesn't matter how trivial it is to other people it means something to you.

In saying that, if you really cared you would of taken some precautions to stop it happening. That's on you. ######


Prompt:
My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  / worked part time at a restaurant in the evening / finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact.

Since all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight / gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######

Response:
 NTA.

It sounds like an already existing problem that was just magnified under this situation. ######


Prompt:
 ***Happened in October and recently came up in conversation***

I made a reservation at a nice restaurant for my anniversary. Our reservation was for 8:30 p.m. but the hostess said they were running a little behind. After 20 minutes of waiting, a couple walked in behind us and asked for a table. They didn’t have reservations and the hostess said they were looking at a 45-minute wait. The couple stood behind us discussing options, then five minutes later the hostess said our table was ready. The woman pointed out that she was seven months pregnant and would really appreciate if she could sit before us. I said no because we had a reservation and they did not, then suggested two places across the street that always have seats available. The couple was visibly annoyed and said something under their breath about how rude I was.

Had they made a reservation I would have gladly switched so they could sit a few minutes early, but they were basically asking for our reservation. We were looking at having to wait another 45 minutes.

There were multiple restaurants in the area so there were options. There was also bar seating available and they could have gotten food there. ######

Response:
 NTA.

It is ridiculous that she would expect you to give up your reservation because she, a stranger, decided to have a kid. ######


Prompt:
Hey all,
Read a post on here that made me think about something that happened a few months ago.
In August of last year, I adopted an 8 year old cat. She was surrendered with a dog by her previous family that June because of an owner illness. According to the volunteer, the family came back for the dog two weeks later but left her behind. I fell in love with her and brought her home that day. I spoil this sweet pur machine to bits. I absolutely adore her and the fact that she always needs to be near me makes me think the feeling is mutual. She is my first cat.

Over Christmas, the volunteer called me to check in to see how things were going-and to let me know the family had come back and requested for her to be returned. I gave an honest update and declined to return her because I felt if the family really wanted her that badly, and loved her that much after 8 years, they wouldn't have left her in the ACC for potentially 6 months. The volunteer didn't push and just said okay.
After reading that post about the person who is refusing to give their pet to the original owner, I am wondering if I was the one in the wrong. I have 0 intention of bringing her back to the ACC, but I am curious if I was a jerk for keeping her.

TL;DR: got a cat in august, family wanted her back by December. I said nah. ######

Response:
 NTA.

In the post you were referencing, the person didn't get their dog from a shelter. That dog wasn't surrendered, it escaped after a fire and it's owners still loved and wanted it back very dearly.

In your situation: They already made the choice to get rid of their cat. ######


Prompt: my(18f) girlfriend(19f) is bisexual and i have always known this. however it did not bother me until she admitted that she was curious what having sex with a man would be like. we’ve talked about wanting a future together and i’m her first relationship so it bothers me because i know it’s something i could never give her. i also don’t particularly like the thought of her sucking a dick, which she jokes about. today she said over the phone that she liked dick, balls, and male pectorals, and i immediately hung up. we’re not talking right now.  AITA for legitimately feeling bad? i’m not angry at her it just makes me feel so shitty since i know if we stay together it’s something she’ll never try even though she’s curious ######

Response:
 NTA.

In relationships where both parties are mature, one doesn't openly verbalize a desire for fantasies that their partner is unable to fulfill. Doing so intentionally is asshole behavior.

The problem here, though, is that I think your partner's behavior is not exactly intentional/unintentional. I think that she's just accessing a different part of your relationship. What I mean is that you are both girlfriends, and friends. When she describes her fantasies, desires, and daydreams, she's talking to you like a friend (that is, someone who has no stake in what she sucks on or puts in her mouth). She's not aware, or not respecting, that you are entering that conversation as her girlfriend.

She wants to talk about it with someone, that someone just isn't you. ######


Prompt:
I’ll do my best to keep this brief.

Earlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not.

After some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago.

Broke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong.

There’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

In any way, shape or form. Your father seems to have issues with being called out for his flaws and thats a him problem. Not yours.

I would probably tell him why you've chosen to ignore him though. ######


Prompt:
So if the name didn’t give enough explanation, here is some back story. My brother is slightly special needs. Nothing major. He mainly acts younger than his age. There may be some mental stuff there but my parents never told me about any.

Anyways, my brother loves fire alarms. He plays with them like toys, constantly plays with the ones in the house, buys some for play use etc. These are completely real fire alarms mind you. My parents are completely okay with this and buy him more and more constantly. He has over 50 now.

I personally hate this. I am the only other sibling and having to hear alarms constantly (any time of the day. Morning, night, etc. if I had a dime for every time I’ve woken up at 5am because of it, I’d be rich) is not only incredibly annoying but dangerous as well. My family has become desensitized to fire alarms since they always assume it’s him now.

Pretty regularly I get angry about this whole thing and try talking to my mom about it. She usually ignores me or gets angry saying how I don’t have a right to dislike his interest/think they should get rid of them. They say I’m incredibly rude for thinking it needs to stop since it’s what he likes. Because of his special needs, I’m wondering if I am rude to think he should stop what he likes. However, I feel like my feelings are completely justified. What do you all think? Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

if your parents don't give a damn about you and only about your brother - point out that right now, *they're training him to think fire alarms are fun playtime*. and they're training him and everyone around him *to ignore the sound of a fire alarm.*

so what's going to happen when there's a real fire?

he'll stay in the house because it's time to play. and everyone else will think it's another annoyance. and then everyone will be crispy critters.

maybe throw in a jab to her about if that's the *intended* effect since this is her strategy for long-term care of him - a big ol' cremation for brother dearest - and she'll actually listen. (well. okay. don't actually do that part. but dream a little assholeish dream in your heart.) ######


Prompt:
My partner injured themselves last December and has Piriformis Syndrome. It's where a muscle becomes inflamed and pinches the sciatic nerve. It causes shooting pains down the leg. They refused to go to the doctor for months and after diagnosis refused to take any medication to help them heal. They prefer to heal naturally over time by stretching and massaging the injury. It bothers me that they aren't accepting treatment but it's their body and I have to respect their wishes. My partner is the love of my life and it is extremely hard for me to watch them be in pain.
I have noticed that when we visit their parents, their pain seems to triple, they making pained grunting noises, walk doubled over and basically act like they are on their death bed. Of course their parents become very concerned and fondle over them to help them feel better. I don't doubt that they are really injured but they are definitely exaggerating for some attention. It weirds me out but I havent said anything about it.
Now they do occasionally try to do this to me. For example, earlier today they were taking out the trash and began to make their little grunting noises. I ignored them. They began to get even more dramatic  and louder. I continued to ignore them until they finally asked me to help them take out the trash. I said of course I will help you and all you have to do is ask.
I simply refuse to baby my partner. I feel like if they need something then they can ask me like an adult. They are not a toddler with a limited vocabulary. They have to grow up and figure out that they have to use their words and communicate properly. I do feel like I might be a little harsh by ignoring them. Does this make me an asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If you need help, ask for it. If you don't feel like you can ask for help from someone you're in a relationship with then that's a whole different kettle of fish.

It sounds like attention-seeking behaviour. I've no doubt that it's genuinely painful (sounds shitty for you both) but the fact that they change their behaviour around their parents etc. makes me wonder if they just want some sympathy and attention.

I've very little patience for stuff like that, so I feel you and don't think you're being harsh. Might be worth just having a chat with them to reiterate the fact you'll gladly help out but they have to ask :) ######


Prompt:
So last week I quit my job (I got an amazing offer from an amazing company).

My almost-former boss asked why and I told her (via email due to COVID) the complete truth: microagressions, lack of diversity (or interest in bring more in), nepotism, exclusion and subtle racism, homophobia, and sexism. I copied her bosses and sent a diversity plan to them.

I listed examples and pasted links for how to deal with and recognize microagressions. I listed out examples of what I’ve experienced and made suggestions on how they can correct it.

This was last Friday - on my day off. They have yet to reply. ######

Response:
 NTA.

If what you're saying is true they probably don't want to acknowledge what you said for potential legal reasons. Don't worry about it.

Good luck with your new job! ######


Prompt:
Throwaway daughter has Reddit

I have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.

My daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so  for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ######

Response:
 NTA.

If she wanted a switch, she should have asked for it.

I would tell your daughter that her 650 dollar art supplies were not a family gift, and no childs birthday present should be a family gift.

Tell your ex wife to pound sand and get her the switch herself. ######


Prompt:
We normally get along but we are having a dumb fight about this and I'm having a hard time communicating to him why it annoys me when he asks me these kinds of questions. I made dinner last night and when it came time to clean up, I asked him to put away the chicken. He asked what do I want him to put the chicken in and I snapped at him saying 'can you please just figure it out?'. This was in an irritated tone - not a regular question (so this is where I'm probably TA).

Every time I make a meal, he asks me questions about 'what he should do'. I don't want to think about this. If the kitchen needs cleaning, pick something and clean it up. I don't want to tell him to clean something up and then also have to tell him how. He is a smart, capable person who makes good decisions. I trust him with whatever cleaning decision he makes! Moreover, I really don't care how something gets cleaned up - I just want it cleaned up! And this weird dynamic where he wants input from me about how to clean up is sort of new. He knows how to cook and I moved into his house so it's not like it's my kitchen that I am particular about it.

I know the adult thing would probably be to just answer the question instead of snapping but I was particularly exhausted yesterday. In my job, I answer difficult questions non-stop all day and I was having an extra bad day at work yesterday. At the end of the day, I have no more mental energy for how to clean up the kitchen!

But maybe I'm making something out of nothing? He seems to think so and, in fact, is still mad at me for it. I just want to be able to hand off part of the work to him and not have to think about it!

So what say you Reddit - AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If men can handle complex and difficult careers outside the home, they have no excuse for not being able to do basic household tasks too. It's feigned ignorance. ######


Prompt:
Our first child is 7 months old next week and I've had an issue with how my husband speaks to her. She'll do something like getting stuck and pick he'll her up and say "oh you're just a stupid baby." Or when she's crying say, " stop there's nothing wrong. You're fine." Sometimes he has unreasonable expectations like getting frustrated that she wasn't crawling already (she is now crawling at 6 months!)and I tell him to stop putting unreasonable expectations on her.  While I know that she doesn't understand a lot of what we say...it just doesn't feel right and I tell him to stop. He gets this face like I'm being unreasonable/ nitpicking him but I don't want my daughter's feelings to be invalidated. I don't want her growing up and her ever thinking that she's stupid. I keep telling him that what we say to her now will be her inner voice when she's older.

My biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant was having a girl. I was afraid of the task to raise a girl who felt confident and empowered, who loved her body. I struggled a lot myself with these issues and I don't want the same for her.

So reddit, AITA for vocally stepping in? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If he's starting like this it'll only continue and escalate. Maybe he thinks this is on par with saying things like, "silly baby," and, "oh no need to cry, don't worry, it's okay."

But his language is too harsh and even if he doesn't mean badly soon enough she will understand and be hurt.

Even at this age she is a sponge, she understands to a significant degree his tone and attitude, and is forming an understanding and opinion of him and its not gonna be good or healthy. ######


Prompt:
I’ll cut to the chase. My boyfriend recently found out he’ll be getting laid off in a month due to his company being acquired by another.

He’s been horribly down and depressed the past few weeks as a result. Last night while on the phone with him, he was sounding very, very depressed. The conversation went as follows:

Me: “What’s wrong handsome? Are you doing alright tonight?”

Him: “No, are you fucking stupid? Do you not pay attention to anything I say?”

Me: “I’m not stupid.”

Him: “Well the things you say are fucking stupid, so I’m calling you fucking stupid.”

I then paused and said: “I was asking you what’s wrong, not giving you permission to call me ‘fucking stupid’ and insult my intelligence.”

Him: “K then talk to you later.”

Me: “So rude.” *click*

I then sent him a text message as follows: “Sorry, I don’t deserve to be called “fucking stupid”, no matter how you’re feeling.

Talk to me when you apologize for lashing out.

Bye.”

He texted me this morning saying how insensitive I am and how dare I request an apology from him during these times. I simply haven’t budged or responded. I feel I deserve a little dignity and respect?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If he was frustrated by being asked the question there are more adult ways to handle it than lashing out with insults.

The fact that it’s a stressful time does often mean people are more likely to snap; but that isn’t an excuse to not apologize and try to do better. He’s basically saying if times are tough it’s okay for him to act like an asshole, and you just have to take it. ######


Prompt:
I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.

Bio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order.

Aita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I've never understood these kinds of people who go around with different men expecting nothing to ever happen to them, and then when it does blatantly lie about it. You deserve the truth, nothing less of it. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a straight dude and I have two gay roommates. I, obviously, agreed to live with them and have no issues with them being gay at all. Although they’re way more comfortable in the bathroom together than I am. In fact I’m not comfortable being in the bathroom with them ever, but they don’t have an issue with it. For example, if one of them is brushing their teeth they don’t have any issue with the other coming to pee in the toilet right next to them. If they’re having a conversation and one of them needs to poop, one will go on the toilet and the other will go in the bathtub and they’ll keep talking. That doesn’t affect me, so I don’t care.

However, they always poop with the door open. It’s disgusting. I’ve frequently walked out of my room and just smelt poop, then I look at the bathroom and I see them sitting on the toilet. They often leave the door open to continue their conversation. I’ve told them it’s gross, and they stop for a day, but then do it the next day.

Other times I’m half asleep and I walk to the bathroom and look at the toilet just to see a half naked man on it.

Today I was sitting on the couch and my roommate opened the door to the bathroom mid poop to ask my other roommate a question. I yelled at him to close the door and he snapped back “I’m not talking to you shut up”. Am I the asshole for wanting the door closed when they poop? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I've been married for 7 years.

I still don't let my husband in the bathroom while I'm going and probably never will. ######


Prompt:
I'm in an LDR and my gf has been lonely and uncomfortable in her cramped studio apt during COVID lockdown. This woman she goes to grad school with knew that and gave her the key to her place while she's out of town for the summer, but they're not really friends, more like colleagues, and she assumed my gf was only going to stop in from time to time to get some work done in a quiet place. She even asked for a little money to go towards rent, and my gf paid her fifty bucks.

Little does she know, my gf has been sleeping there every night. The place is bigger and nicer than my gf's and she feels safer there because the neighbors don't scream at each other all night. When she first starting going there I thought she was staying at a *friend's* place, but recently she revealed the true situation to me on the phone and then confessed that she also read this woman's diary, which was just sitting right there on her desk. I was shocked; I said it was an invasion of privacy and asked my gf how she would've felt if someone she trusted with her apt key read her diary. She said she wouldn't have cared.

She called me an asshole for judging her, and she later justified the diary thing by saying that she's been so lonely she just needed to see if someone else felt that way. She said I should've taken her side and empathized with her instead of being cold and judgmental, and she's still pissed about it. But I stand by my judgment! Is reading someone's diary just not as bad as I think it is? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I'm willing to bet that someone who gets annoyed at being called out on their bullshit would definitely have been upset to have their privacy invaded... ######


Prompt:
I have a non identical twin brother named Justin. I'm under no illusion that he's the better looking between us. He's a great guy if not a bit philandering.

Since we were bored yesterday, we video called my friend Jay and his wife and we just caught up with each other over a couple glasses of wine. We eventually got to playing this game where someone asks a question and we all answer. I asked everyone who their cheat pass (someone you would cheat with if allowed) is and everyone gave celebrities crushes as expected, except my loving wife. She first asked about specifics. Whether it was just a one time thing, the whole night or a fling. We all agreed on whole night and then she blurted "Then Justin! Omg we'd fuck all night long". We all broke into laughter because we thought she was talking about Justin Bieber.

Jay then made a comment about Timberlake being better than Bieber and my wife clarified that she actually meant my brother. Like wtf? Obviously things got awkward so they ended the call and we got into a fight over it. She said I shouldn't be angry because I was the one who asked her and now I'm judging her truthful answer. I spent the night in the guest room and even this morning she was completely unapologetic and said I should be the one apologizing for being an ass last night and "judging her truth". Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I'm a person who usually believes that if you aren't going to like the answer then don't ask the question but not for this situation.  Usually when someone mentions a "cheat pass" they're generally talking about celebrities- *not their spouse's siblings*. Plus it was uncool of her to also say that they'd "fuck all night long". That just seems like she has thought about it definetly more than once.

If my boyfriend said that about my sister I'd be highly upset and frankly a little insecure. ######