Prompt:
Some context: I have a strict "no lending" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever.

Due to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.

Last month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.

Here's the thing though. I work 12/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.

Now, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.

But none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######

Response: NTA Not your circus,  not your monkeys. ######


Prompt:
This happened a long time ago - when I was about 14 and on a family holiday to a holiday park kind of place (Center Parcs for anyone in Europe). When I was a young teenager, I was kinda chubby and didn’t get much attention from boys like some of my friends did.

So anyway, one Valentine’s Day, my family wrote a fake card from a ‘secret admirer’ guy asking me to meet him at a the central place (where all the bars and restaurants etc are). Straight away I thought it was BS and laughed it off saying yeah whatever. Well over the course of the day, my whole family (mum, stepdad and sister) basically convinced me it was real, promising they didn’t send it and just genuinely trying to convince me to go to the place we were supposed to meet. Eventually, I thought I’d just go when my younger sister said she’d come with me and we’d just hang out in the area. I wasn’t completely convinced but was convinced enough to go.

Sure enough, we get to the place, hang out for a bit and no one shows. All of a sudden, my mum and stepdad show up and they all start laughing saying it was a prank. I tried to laugh along but obviously I was completely humiliated. I think the worst part is that they still occasionally bring it up and laugh about it. Recently, I told them I thought it was a horrible thing to do and I actually don’t find it funny at all. They all make out I’m being being an asshole and can’t take a joke or that I’m too sensitive.

So, AITA in the sense that I should just get over it? ######

Response: NTA not only is it a really low quality prank, it actually hurt your confidence and feelings. Not very cash money of them. ######


Prompt:
Over the past two years I’ve brought up wanting to meet my (35f) boyfriend’s (32m) best friend a couple times (“I want to meet so-and-so”, and “so when am I going to meet so-and-so?”) and the responses were, respectively, nothing, and “whenever”. Since then I’ve fought about it with him twice and the latest one he told me I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and suggested meeting his friend would “mean something about our relationship,” which, in the end, is true.

I feel like I’m not good enough to meet his friend, that he’s embarrassed of me or maybe he’s embarrassed of his friend (?), that he’s hiding that part of his personality, that he’s ashamed of me, that I’m not good enough, and so on. Maybe he thinks I’ll embarrass him with my being a total idiot? On and on, this is just a slice of the thoughts I have about it.

My bf is very private and likes a lot of space and distance. He doesn’t like talking about himself. The only people in his life who even know I exist are his mom and her husband, and not because we were intentionally introduced. (Met them on our one year anni)

Am I overreacting? Is this not really a big deal at all? I know my feelings are valid, but not sure my perspective is... TIA ######

Response:
 NTA Not going to lie if he doesn't care enough to introduce you to his best friend after two years you shouldn't be with him. You should want to show your SO off or at least introduce them in the hopes that you'd all get along great.

A couple months in I'd be suspicious that he refuses to let me meet never mind two fkn years. ######


Prompt:
Since I'm fully employed and living with my parents I have a lot of expendable income that I have spent around the house to make it more enjoyable for everyone. Over the past month my job has needed me to come in 7 days a week and I'm barely getting enough sleep. I let the kids use all the stuff I've bought as long as they do what the parents ask of them and be quite when I sleep, now that I get less time to sleep.

I give them reminders before naps to please be quite and they usually give me attitude but then they're quite enough, but I was so exhausted yesterday that before I could make it upstairs I fell asleep on the living room beanbag while they were all quite. When my brothers girlfriend, who came over here recently and now stays here 24/7, wanted to watch Netflix it was recommended to her that she should use airpods (which where the ones I gave to my brother for free) so that she doesn't wake me. (She has been the most adamant about not wanting to be quite, and had previously said "I'm gonna be so loud, and if I wanna wake you up at 3am in the morning I will") When I half woke up and asked her nicely to use the airpods she said "No, no one even cares about your Xbox."

I know that the only thing my brother wants to do during this time is to play CoD so I had been talking about taking away my Xbox if I can't sleep because everyone is loud. So that's what I did. It's been in my room for 24 hours and 4 family members have asked why they can't use "the Xbox" ( not even like a "your Xbox") When I tell them they blame me. I've told them that all they have to do is have her say that people care about it.

Am I the Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA no one is except your brother's gf. Tell your brother to talk to her and you bring the Xbox back for everyone to use when his gf changes her attitude. She's a guest there and this

>"I'm gonna be so loud, and if I wanna wake you up at 3am in the morning I will"

Attitude is just disgusting. ######


Prompt:
Since last week my grandma starter complaining that my room is dirty and unorganized. I clean my room at least every other day but apparently for her it is too little.

So, a few days ago I decided to go for a walk at the local park only to come back to my keyboard being off, my rgb strip mostly off with some LEDs flashing on and off and some stuff missing from my desk (like USB sticks) . I decided to go and ask her what happened and she told me that she decided to clean my desk because it was too crowded and dirty. Also she told me to be careful because something shocked her when she tried to remove the water she dropped on my desk.

I immediately rushed back to my setup and tipped my keyboard over only to see water dripping from it. I then went outside and told to never go into my room and didn't talk to her since.

FYI The keyboard was the Corsair k95 which costs 250$ where I live. ######

Response:
 NTA no matter if people agree with how you live, if it’s a problem, that’s for your parents to decide. Clearly they thought your cleaning was enough.

She shouldn’t have touched your stuff and that’s an expensive fuckup. Sorry OP, hopefully a replacement will be sorted. Let your parents deal with this, but make it clear to both them and her that this was an invasion of your privacy and property and that you won’t be happy until something is done to rectify it.

I’d also want an apology from her. If she doesn’t know enough about technology to know that water damage is a problem and that she should have unplugged it the moment water got on it, she doesn’t know enough to be near your desk. ######


Prompt:
We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.

 Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######

Response: NTA No adult living in their own home should see maintaining that household as "helping out". If you haven't seen it before, I highly recommend the comic ["You Should Have Asked"](https://www.workingmother.com/this-comic-perfectly-explains-mental-load-working-mothers-bear#page-2). ######


Prompt:
Yesterday morning my girlfriend was being pouty and generally sour. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was upset because I had not cooked her breakfast or brought her flowers or any of the things I do for her birthday or our anniversary.

Befuddled, I asked why I would do any of those things for mother's day, as we have no children? She thought that because we have two dogs she qualifies for mothers day. I laughed and told her that until she has a human child she doesn't qualify for mother's day. I had sent cards and flowers to my mother and grandmother so I guess she was expecting some too? She's still upset about it this morning.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA next she’ll be saying you gotta give her gifts on the queens birthday because she’s your queen ######


Prompt:
My wife is 7 months and yesterday we had a fight(what about isn’t the point but because people will ask she sold my ps4 without asking me). She then tells me to sleep on the sofa when she goes to bed. I’ve had a bad back since a car accident in my late teens and the sofa makes it 10x worse(for the record I got hit by a drunk driver, wasn’t my fault).

I said no, and if she had a problem she could sleep on the sofa. She said she can’t because she’s pregnant. I said too bad then and got into bed and tried to sleep. She then started yelling at me that it’s unfair to force her to sleep with me when she has no where else to go. Neither of us slept at all last night.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA neither of you can sleep on the couch in your conditions, and if you can't make up before bed, you're gonna have to deal with it. She also doesn't have the right to get rid og your things ######


Prompt:
alright so, my dad has been very insistent that since i entered university, he needs to know where i am at all times. the options were either to live-share my location, or download one of those apps that inform you what your child is doing. and i tried to convince him otherwise. but it didn’t work out.

so what i actually did was i got a burner phone and installed it there, and my dad’s been tracking the burner phone instead. if for example, i’m doing something he disapproves of, like going out to lunch with friends, buying cigarettes, being in a bar, etc. i leave it with a friend who won’t be leaving university.

so when my dad travelled, i was going to sleepover in a friends house, and i told my dad i was pulling an all-nighter in my university, and gave it to a friend who was there studying.

and then my friend all travelled back to their home countries.

so that friend unthinkingly took the phone with him, and now my location shows up all the way across the globe. and my dad found that out yesterday, and was like wtf and assumed it to be a technological glitch - i told him it was probably because i use VPN’s.

well i told my girlfriend last night because i was finding it really funny that i was showing up in another country i clearly was not in, and she lost it at me and told me the reason my dad tracks me is because i do shit like this and therefore he can’t trust me, and that i should come clean.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA my parents tried to track me (21) and do track my younger siblings. I think if you are in uni then you should be able to have your own life and do what you want. Intentions may be good but it does not matter at that point. That cause you and your parent a lot of unnecessary stress. ######


Prompt:
To preface this I 100% recognize how blessed I am to have the opportunities that my parents provide me and am in no way diminishing what they have given me so let’s please avoid the privelege comments and such

My parents typically take us on a big vacation(big as in long and far away, about 2-3 weeks and across the ocean) this upcoming year-summer of 2021- i am graduating from high school so my parents told me I could “plan” the trip in the sense that I can pick the destinations and activities that we do. My sister graduated from grade 8 this year and got a gift or two from my parents (gifts far above what grade eight graduation gifts would typically be imo) My sister and I typically have very different ideas of what a fun vacation is; she’s more of a relax on the beach at a resort type and I prefer outdoor adventure in a more temperate environment with activités like hiking. When my parents and I were talking about destinations for the trip my sister came in and started complaining about the destinations and asked why I could pick where we were going. Once my mom explained it to her she complained about how she just graduated from grade eight and didn’t get to do anything like that. The complaining frustrated me in part because it’s just annoying and also because she got a great gift for graduating grade eight (something in my country every kid does since it is literally impossible to fail) so I told her that graduating from grade eight means a lot less and is less important then graduating high school. I regret saying it and am not sure if it was too harsh but my parents Definetely think so and are telling me I have to apologize, which I plan on doing. AITA ######

Response: NTA my parents didn’t even give me gifts for graduation grade 8. She can plan the trip when she finishes high school ######


Prompt:
I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language,

My friend has been a friend of mine for a long time, because she didn’t have a car I used to give her rides to fun activities we could both do like partying, going to the mall, going to the beach, you get the idea.

Well one day she got pregnant from an unknown guy in a party and she decided to keep the baby and jokingly said to me that I’m going to be the baby’s uncle (oh boy).

Well, I didn’t mind helping her from time to time, taking her to doctors appointments, going with her to the mall to get her some baby clothes, things that I honestly didn’t enjoy, I even had to miss work sometimes to help her but I knew she was in a tight spot and helped her anyways. This became something of a routine.

A month ago, she texted me that she needed me to take her to a doctors appointment for a routine check the next day in the morning (7 am). She sent the message at 10 pm and when she  sent it I was already with my friends getting ready to go partying, well, I told her that and that I wouldn’t be able to go, when I told her, she started calling me demanding that I took them home so I can rest and take her and the baby to the doctors appointment, when I said no she got angry and started saying things like “you are not really a good friend” “I should take her baby more seriously” “it’s time to grow up”  and I decided to ignore her from that point and we haven’t talked since.

Well one mutual friend found out about it and said that I’m really not a good friend and that I should have told the rest of the group so we could had decided what to do in the moment. But the thing is I hadn’t Had fun in such a long time because of me helping her that I didn’t want to do that and from that moment the group has been divided between the people who think I’m an asshole and the rest.

Before you ask, the rest of the group doesn’t have a car.

If there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know

So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA My dude/tte, you are exercising your self respect, and your "friend" is trying to set you up as a doormat.

Your friend is selfish, and entitled at that. I'd cut all ties until they understand it's not okay to cover their wants as needs and push them unto your own personal space and life. ######


Prompt: We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home.  It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point.  Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats.  I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it.   Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework.  She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so).   My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk.  He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more.  So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't.  It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today.  Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ######

Response:
 NTA Momma! Hang in there. You've got this! Soon you will have two teenagers to handle.

You laid out the conditions. One meet them the other didn't. If your daughter had done her school work but your son didn't then he would have missed out instead. You treated them equally.

Moving forward just keep in mind that treating your kids equally may not be treating them fairly and vice-versa.

By allowing your son to go, but daughter not to, you treated your kids fairly.

That's a sign of good parenting.

Don't make it a comparison between the two kids. When dealing with a child make it solely about that child. Don't say son is able to do this but you can't. Instead say that you did not do the expected task. (All she will hear is that you are letting son do something if you don't.)

Try asking your daughter what you can do to help her get her school work done.

Does she need more structure? (Help her create a schedule that works for her, be sure to highlight and allow breaks.)

Does she need more motivation? (As soon as she gets an assignment done she gets a 15 minute social media break. As soon as she's done for the day she gets an hour of uninterrupted screen time. If she gets all her assignments done at the end of the week then she can have a later bedtime on Friday night, or whatever an appropriate reward. The goal is to set easy to attain goals with instant rewards.)

Does she need help? (If you can't help her, encourage her to reach out to her teacher.)

Does she need more freedom? (Not working at the kitchen table, or working outside, a different place in the house to work on each subject. Getting to pick which order to due her assignments. Starting later in the morning. Staying up a bit later. Going for a quick 15 minute walk before starting. Set aside one minute every day that she can scream and curse and yell as loud as she wants with no judgment to help let out her frustration.)

You are doing right by your kids. It's hard to see when you are in the thick of it.

If she is being particularly difficult and getting worse, encourage her to communicate with you. Ask her one thing that you do that you that she doesn't like. Then ask her one thing that you do that she does like. If she's uncomfortable talking, create a private notebook where she can write her responses. She can ask difficult or embarrassing questions without judgment as well. Break the ice by telling her a story from your teenage experience where you thought your parents were being unfair and how you think about it now. ######


Prompt:
Recently, my little sister(10F) has been getting into Minecraft, she has played it at her school as well as on my computer a couple of times which she seems to enjoy, which is fine. However I(18M) am also into the game as I have played it ever since I was 11 and just earlier today she has been begging my parents to get the game for her, but they think that she can play on my account without checking in with me first to see if I’m fine with it.

So I get called downstairs and mom tells me to log into my account, I ask “Why?” and she tells me it’s so that she can play the game. I ask “Can’t you buy the game for her?” and she replies with “Well, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be playing it anyway” (I recently celebrated my 18th birthday) so I ask “why can’t you just buy the game for her?” and she says it’s because she doesn’t want to spend that much money (the game is 26.95 USD, I feel that it’s important to mention that she bought a stable for her horse for about $9000)

I tell her “well, she can play the demo version to see if she likes it or not” so she has downloaded the demo version now and this is pretty much where we’re at now.

I don’t want to just give away my account as I still play the game, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA Minetest is also an option. Making you lend your account is not. And most gamers are adults. And if she has money to spend on a horse, then she has plenty of money to spend on a cheap game. Mom shouldn't be cheap like that.

[Give her this and tell her it's Minecraft, but free.](https://www.minetest.net/) ######


Prompt:
The bride and groom have no issue, no dad (who is in church leadership, has no issue. Only my mother, who is the church secretary has an issue with me bringing my service dog, Cain, to the wedding, "because the church has carpeting and leadership won't like it".

She sent me a text saying "What are you going to do with Kain during the wedding? You can't bring him in the church". A long, drawn out phone call (because she kept yelling and I kept hanging up) and finally I called my dad, and asked him to talk to church leadership about bringing him.

She's never been very supportive and has a way of dismissing my diagnoses as "just my depression" or I'm "overreacting". She has also been acting as if Cain is just a very expensive pet, not a medical working dog. He's mobility service dog for my agrresive uncontrolled Rheumatoid Arthritis, Spondyloarthropy,  Fibromyalgia and balance issues.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA maybe you should remind your mom of the patriot saint of animals! Ffs the dogs name is Cain bet your moms name isn’t in the bible. She is not a very smart woman and just wants drama. Your mom is tah! ######


Prompt:
I have both BRCA alleles (was tested by a genetic counsellor several years ago) meaning I will most likely die of breast or ovarian cancer by age 60. I have dealt with many surgeries as well as radio therapy throughout my life relating to this; I am currently dealing with cervical dysplasia (pre-cancerous growths in 2/3 of my cervix.)

My best friend recently started dating a man who lied about having testicular cancer. Shortly after saying this and meeting me, as I offered to take him to a support group session, he admitted to lying about having cancer and only wanted the attention. He laughed it off as if it were a joke and never apologized. I never saw him again. The fact she is with someone like this makes me sick.

So today I called her not knowing she was with him, and when she picked up and I saw  were together, something came over me and I asked “hey ____, why are you so sick in the head that you lied about having cancer? I want you to know you are the absolute scum of the earth and there’s a special spot waiting in hell for you” then hung up.

So.... am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA lying about having an illness is sociopath behavior. Like no really, look it up in the DSM. Please make sure your friend is safe ######


Prompt:
I live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup.

One of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.

Every time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.

Last week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.

On the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said "Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?"

She was like "did you come here just for this?" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.

She got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.

The cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.

Lucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.

I feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.

AITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ######

Response: NTA Lucy is an adult and needs to grow up and pay her share of the bills. You did put pressure on her but like... you shouldn't have had to do that at all? ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend picked up chess recently. I have been a chess player all my life. Now my boyfriend isn't very good but he is improving.

We played a 10+0 rapid game online just like an hour ago and he absolutely destroyed me. Very suspicious. He was celebrating but I decided to check the analysis and it was 1-0-0. Basically he made 1 inaccuracy and zero mistakes or blunders during the game. He also somehow knew the mainline najdorf(a chess opening) quite deep. He might just have studied it but I personally find it very unlikely. I asked my bf if he cheated and he got very defensive and upset and said I should have some trust in him. I said I am not buying this, the najdorf is one of the sharpest openings in all of chess and its hard for GMs to get 1-0-0. He called me bitch and ended the call.

Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA lol, I had a roommate who used to cheat at scrabble to get 9 letter words pretty much every turn. (They would have to use the bathroom, or go grab something from the kitchen, etc...)

Not the end of the world, but so annoying! ######


Prompt:
My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months.  This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it.  I asked her if she was "allergic to stairs," which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude.  FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA lol, hope this is the biggest issue in your marriage ######


Prompt:
So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway).

So I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom).

So my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing.

That's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual " I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said  "sure" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said " I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?" and she lit up thinking she could win again.

Long story short I beat her 40-2

She ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole

&#x200B;

So Reddit AITA ######

Response: NTA lol you played the game and you won. That's all there is to it. If anything, if you would have let her win because you didn't want to deal with her bad behavior then you would be TA, because you would be letting her think that she would get away with everything and she would stay entitled. But you didn't do that thankfully, so you are NTA. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile so apologies for spelling and formatting)

I (19F ) have nipple piercings. I keep a simple barbell in them, nothing overly fancy or protruding. Once online classes started I stopped wearing a bra to online lectures. I figure my boobs are stable enough (they don’t really move on their own)  and they probably won’t be in frame so what’s the big deal. I don’t wear tight or revealing clothing, just baggy-full sized non-cropped tees or hoodies.

The only class that I have the camera on for regularly is my 30 person advanced math proofs class. Friday, my cat knocked over my camera for less than a minute before I noticed. My piercings were outlined by the drapes (?) of my baggy shirt, but only if you know what you are looking for. I quickly fixed my camera and thought nothing better of it.

After class, my professor emailed me and asked me to “please dress more appropriately for class in the future” and that “my very obvious nipple piercings were distracting while he was trying to teach”. I honestly think this is a.) creepy af and b.) a big ask. Like I’m 600 miles from you, it was a brief thing, and my nipples were not even out. I was fully covered in a baggy, opaque black t-shirt.

I haven’t responded because I want to know if I was being the asshole by not wearing a bra. So Reddit, AITA for not wearing a bra to online lecture?

ETA: if it matters, which I think it did to him, I am the only woman out of this class of 30 ######

Response: NTA lol ur prof sounds like a creep and u should complain to higher staff and say old dude is staring at ur titties and emailing u about it tell u ur distracting and how to dress. Like wow he's a prof with the attention span of a horny 13 yr old. Yuck. ######


Prompt: So I am a 16 year old male who is half white half Japanese. My dad was scouted to be a English teacher in Japan where he met my mom which they had 2 girls and then moved back to Canada and had me. I have dual citizenship for japan and Canada I can go to either freely. Not counting this year but every march we would spend in japan with my moms family. Today I was in a discord call with people I have never met before and one of them was a straight up otaku (nice way to day weeb) I then said oh you speak Japanese and he said yes so I just rambled off a sentence in Japanese because I was excited it's not every day I get to speak Japanese to people who arent my family. And this guy giggles and says my Japanese "needs some work" which I then told him in Japanese my history with the language which he responded in Japanese with and me being upset about the first comment completely dissected what he said and pointed out all of the flaws in his grammar or structuring. Which he said in English knit pick much? I said I'm only doing what you are doing. Then he went silent and the topic changed. AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta lol more or less seems like a weird thing to do to a native speaker
Like was he speaking formal?? Cause I could maybe see a non native speaker of a language not getting slang and such ######


Prompt:
This is a throwaway account and I sincerely tried to word this correct.

Last year I got really sick and I lost a lot of weight, resulting with me on TPN and a feeding tube. I get 100% of my nutrition from both of these lines. I had to move back home and my mom became qualified to be my caregiver and she is being paid for helping me. When I get eat I get sick 100% of the time but I still want to be able to eat and taste food, and my doctor encourages eating so that I can maintain some function. My doctor knows I get sick and still expects me to eat and I want to eat so I do. My mother thinks I'm selfish because shes my caregiver and she knows I'll just get sick if I eat, which is more stress and anxiety for her. I talked to her over it and I told her that the majority of the time when I get sick I dont make any mess, and if I do I clean it up. She said that it's more than that because when I'm sick it adds a bunch of stress to the family because they are worrying about me instead of doing their own business. I genuinely feel bad about that but also I'm hungry. My TPN and tube bypasses my stomach so I dont get any satisfaction or fullness and I really miss food. My mom thinks I'm TAH for adding extra stress and I dont mean to be. I want to eat without it affecting anyone else but because that's impossible AITA ######

Response: NTA listen to your doctor. Your mother isn't an AH for being worried about you, but she she sucks for trying to guilt you into not doing something the doc recommended, especially since you're the one doing the cleaning up. ######


Prompt:
I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice.

TLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######

Response: NTA let her know, and let her know that she can file with Pornhub to have the video removed under revenge porn laws. ######


Prompt:
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, and we were talking about what things we look for in a partner. She asked me if there were any things that would be dealbreakers for me, and I said smoking. My mom is a smoker and I have always hated it. Everything in our house smells like smoke and it's gross (and never goes away no matter how many times you wash your clothes/blankets), plus it gives me headaches all the time. I don't care if people smoke, that's their business, but I would NOT want to live with a smoker again and it would definitely be a dealbreaker in a relationship.

Now my friend is pissed at me because she used to smoke (I didn't know that) and she says I'm basically saying that I think she's gross and wouldn't have been friends with her if I knew she smoked. Which isn't even true, as I have other friends who smoke and it's fine. I just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. But my friend when and told all the rest of our friend group, and they're all angry at me! I tried to explain better, but they won't hear it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA kissing a smoker is gross. Sitting in the same room as a smoker is gross. Ash trays are gross. Listening to someone with smoker's cough is grating. Waiting for people to finish their smoke sucks. Being asked to stop and pick up a $10 pack of cigarettes is annoying.

Smokers and cigarettes are a deal breaker for me too. ######


Prompt:
My sister-in-law is high risk immunosuppressed, shes been told to limit social contact for 12 weeks (8wks left) but shes been nipping to the shop etc.

Today shes invited herself and her 6 year old daughter over to our garden for a social distance cuppa. This would be fine if it wasn't for the 6 year old being incredibly naughty.

I have an 8mo and a 3yo, I dont want them playing with my niece, if not for their own safety for the safety of my sister in law. But idk how to social distance kids. Especially ones that aren't mine and wont listen. My wife disagrees and says I'm being irrational, theres no way to stop my sister in law coming over and "shes been stuck inside and wants fresh air".

I dont get it. Am I overreacting? AmItheAsshole? ######

Response: NTA kids are massive disease vectors, keep them separated as much as you can ######


Prompt:
This happened tonight on reddit lol so it's still fresh and I'm heated and annoyed. I am a high school senior trying to choose between colleges. I made a reddit post tonight on one of the college's subs. A professor commented on my post and that's the part that went downhill...

Prof: What's better - going to a more prestigious school but not graduating in Engineering or going to a good school and graduating in Engineering?

Me: If I'm going to struggle in Engineering, wouldn't it be better to go to the better school? "I know ivy league colleges have higher graduation rates overall so it  seems like that's a safer bet in case I can't make it in Engineering"

Prof: Highights the quoted part above and replies "Not sure where you came up with that. The available stats suggest the opposite"

Then basically it devolves into me asking for that data and the professor either ignoring me or giving me irrelevant data that doesn't back up that claim. I then made a post directly asking if they were just ignoring my request for data when they said "the available stats suggest the opposite". They then replied that they did not say that.

So I looked back and they edited their post to say "Not sure where you came up with that. Is it college specific?". Luckily another user sent me screenshots so I have proof they edited their post.

I just asked for a professor to be professional and address the claim they made, but instead, they edited their post and act like I'm being unreasonable. It's infuriating because I thought I was being somewhat respectful to an extent, asking the professor for the data and giving an opportunity to prove their point. Anyway, I know it's petty but WIBTA if I made a post on that sub (if allowed) to see if they'll hold their professor accountable or if they will just be professional? ######

Response: NTA Keep em accountable ######


Prompt: I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says "jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######

Response: NTA just speak to him and explain that you would feel uncomfo with the tattoo, it seems like he thinks a big gesture like this will make up for him not being around but I'd just 2explain that making memories going forward is more important than a tattoo...that's if you want to spend time with him obviously. ######


Prompt: So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######

Response: NTA just because you were a diligent student and kept documents to help you study doesn't guarantee everyone gets to benefit from your effort. It's like taking notes in class and someone demanding you share your notes. You keep doing what you're doing. ######


Prompt:
There’s a lot going on here but I’ll keep it as short as possible. My husband and I live fairly close to his parents (like 15 min) and his brother who has severe intellectual disabilities at age 36.

My husband is a doctor and with the pandemic we’ve decided to live apart for the time being so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally infecting me. So now I’ve moved in with my in laws and his brother.

I love his in laws like my own parents. His brother, however, is another story. He’s disabled but he has an incredibly foul mouth and very offensive opinions that he’s formed from years surfing deep corners of the internet.

But he’s disabled and is not all there sometimes, so I do my best to help out and keep my mouth shut. Last Saturday I was going on a walk with him (daily exercise) when we were walking past this big grocery store parking lot. We see a dad and son loading groceries into their car and my BIL started yelling racial insults at them (they were Asian).

I was horrified and I tried pulling him away. But it was heartbreaking seeing the look on the little boy’s face and the exhausted/defeated expression on his dad’s face as they drove away. I was so angry that night I called my husband and basically told him I will rent a hotel room myself because I can’t stand another minute in the same house as his brother.

It’s been a week and my husband has told me he can’t sleep because he’s so upset over what I told him. I admit I used harsh words and fully laid out my feelings to him. He said he still loves his brother and can’t stand the thought of us never getting along. AITA for telling him directly how I felt about this brother? I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept it to myself. ######

Response:
 NTA just because someone suffers a disability or illness it doesn't mean you have to accept their behaviour. The brother may not understand what's wrong or offensive or why, I don't know the details obviously, but that doesn't mean you have to put yourself in that situation nor gloss over it just because it is a disability or illness.

You have your boundaries and feelings and you're entitled to them.

It's a shitty situation given the details but you have to look out for you. I understand for your partner it's not great to hear and understandably he would love you to get along but he needs to understand that somethings are unacceptable even given the circumstances. What that man and child were subjected to was not fair and your partner can't ignore it as a reason for anything.

You don't have to be friends or like the brother but if you're willing to be civil and such explain that to your partner. ######


Prompt: So I (M27) lived in a smallish town for most of my childhood and teen years and the people you go to school with in kindergarten are pretty much the same people you spend the next 13-14 years with at school. Well one of the kids I went to school with that entire time bullied me both socially and physically to the point he actually put me in the hospital once and generally just made my life hell every chance he got. After I graduated I left town and hadn't gone back in some time. Recently I went back to spend some time with a lifelong friend since things there had opened back up due to COVID and while we were at a bar we ran into him. He recognized me and approached me and after talking for a bit he apologized for how he bullied me and I rejected it flat out telling him he made my life hell for 14 years an apology in a bar just doesnt cut it. Everyone was then mad at me for not accepting it since hes well liked around town and is seen a nice guy. I will admit he wasn't rude and seemed like he really meant it but I just cant get past everything he did to me. Am I the asshole for rejecting his apology? ######

Response: NTA just because someone offers an apology doesn't mean that you have to accept it. He may be a different person now, but that doesn't change what happened. ######


Prompt:
FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!

About two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.

Relationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious.  I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.

I decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.

I am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.

Have a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######

Response: NTA Jesus. She IS being incredibly racist, and you need to run, my dude. Run fast and run far. ######


Prompt:
So my background was a picture of a dog that said "what the FUCK is oatmeal" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was "traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said "spy on individuals you don't know.
So AITA

EDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######

Response: NTA its your phone background, you can set it to be whatever you want, and you have a perfectly reasonable expectation of privacy here. Your dad should work on not raising a snoop and a narc. ######


Prompt: In high school (who am I kidding all of school) I was a huge nerd. GPA had to be 4.0 or I felt sick so I obviously studied a lot. I sacrificed countless hours I could have spent having fun and hanging out with friends to get good grades. So in 9th grade biology we had a test I had studied hours and hours for cuz I wasn't sure on the material and it counted for 40% of our grade. So day of the test comes and the teacher passes it out. We had to cut out strips of paper with descriptions of I think cells and glue them in the right box. (Dont ask my why in 9th grade we were cutting out colored paper like we were in prek) so I cut all mine out and I'm excited.  I know them all! So I start lining em up on the paper. I look up and notice the guy across from me (our desks faced each other) was copying me! Like not glancing over because he wasn't sure on one thing but copying my entire test. I was livid! So I quickly rearranged all my strips to the wrong boxes and he does the same. As soon as he turns his paper in I rearranged mine to the correct answers, glued them down and turned my test in. When she returned our tests I got 100% and he got.....0% The look on his face. Priceless.  He just kept looking at my test then down at his. Neither of us ever mentioned it. So was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA its his fault for cheating, you just taught him a lesson. ######


Prompt:
This relates to an online marketplace for guitars. Last December I was selling a guitar of mine for just about $6,000 which someone bought. I had to ship it to them. I made sure to document my packaging (a dozen or so photos in varying states of packed) as well as I took a photo of me dropping it off at the PO. I've been buying and selling and shipping guitars online for ten-ish years at this point and I do this for every guitar I ship. I shipped it out, I got my money, and I thought this was the end of it.

Two weeks go by and the buyer says he didn't receive the guitar. Tracking says it was delivered. They contact the marketplace site and try to get the situation mediated. I was told it's my responsibility to ensure delivery. I call the courier, they confirm it was delivered (they even have a photo of the courier dropping it off). I thought this was the end of it, but nope.

The courier said if the buyer didn't have it, it was porch pirated. Despite paying $300 extra for the full $6000 insurance, they won't pony up. Said it's out of their control. At this point the marketplace said I needed to refund the buyer and eat the cost.

This seemed so fishy to me. If it was indeed porch pirated, then the courier should pay for it. But there's no proof: the buyer could have got it and just wants their money, too. It seemed they were beginning the process of automatically taking the money out of my account, so I went to the bank and closed that account, withdrawing all my money. I switched banks and washed my hands of it.

Was I the asshole here? If it truly was porch pirated, I feel for the buyer but this wasn't my fault. Nowhere in the marketplace policy guide does it mention porch pirates, nor does the courier's website. Friends of mine have said this is the cost of doing business and I should have ate the cost. I told many of them to eat shit. ######

Response: NTA its a scam and he wanted the guitar for free. Its a very popular scam nowadays ######


Prompt:
I start this by acknowledging there are far far greater issues in the world than a bean bag. However, this is my predicament.

I (21F) have a really large fluffy bean bag that was gifted to me by my parents and as it’s so large it stays in the sitting room. It’s really nice and comfy and guests enjoy sitting on it and that’s all fine, the issue comes with one contingent of my family.

My aunt and uncle have a child (4F) who is there miracle child and as a result of this boundaries are not a thing at all. It is near impossible to tell this child no as her parents do not use the word. Her parents (my aunt and uncle) are also crap with boundaries and usually just attempt to walk over anyone else. On their last visit food/drink was split on the bean bag which they didn’t clean up making the damage worse. It was fine, everything was cleaned up and went back to normal after they left. Myself and my parents are thinking of implementing a ‘no food or drink on or near the bean bag policy’ however I am dubious as to the affect of this policy as like I said boundaries seemingly don’t exist. So I want to move the bean bag to my room for the week they are visiting.

I don’t blame the child; she’s 4, highly energetic and spoilt which isn’t her fault. Also she’s a kid and accidents happen. However given the that boundaries are hard to implement with these three WIBTA if I moved the bean bag or am I being a selfish 21 year old who clearly needs to worry about larger problems. Like I said I appreciate this is a very non vital problem. ######

Response: NTA it’s yours you’re allowed to want it to stay nice and not want kids crawling on it. ######


Prompt:
This happened last year and I only just found this subreddit. Also first ever post so go easy on me.
Last year one of my colleagues got diagnosed with testicular cancer and needed to go through chemo.
Chemotherapy makes all of your hair fall out in clumps and eventually you wind up bald. Some of my colleagues, both male and female, decided to shave themselves bald to show support.
However, I hardly know this colleague (I had only been with the company 2 months) so while I expressed my support and hope he pulls through, I wouldn't be shaving my head.
When shaving-day came around, both the colleague and a few others that had shaved themselves expressed they were hurt I hadn't shaved bald and asked what was up.
I said I still absolutely support him in every way, but I'm just not shaving myself bald. He seemed offended and the now bald gang said I was being a dick and I might as well laugh in his face. When I asked how come they aren't giving some of the others the same lecture, apparently it was because they were women and "needed" the long hair.
I'm almost certain I am in the right and they're being unreasonable, but I need a sanity check. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA it’s weird they are shaming you - IMO you could be his best friend in the entire world and you still wouldn’t be the AH for not shaving your head.
As long as you’re being sensitive and supportive you’re not in the wrong. If it bothers you maybe talk to the guy privately and let him know you’re there if he needs support but you’re not shaving your head. ######


Prompt:
My gf and I live in a 600+ sq ft apartment on a bottom floor with 2 cats. Quite recently, my gf had to make the decision to put down her dog due to liver failure. It was very fast and sudden, because we went in for a upset stomach and expected medication, not a lack of dog.

She immediatly started looking for another dog to adopt. I completly understand this, because getting another dog is part if the grieving process. However, this is where I wonder if I'm the asshole: I told her no.

My gf likes a "beagle/hound" mix that isn't fully housetrained and used to be abused, so the world is still scary for them. I'm very hesitant on getting a dog, because for our last dog, a lot of the walking/training resposibilities fell on me. I would get guilt-tripped into taking the dog out for walks by myself, while my gf would NEED me to be with her. I don't have the patience for dogs and while I like them, I'm more of a cat person anyways. I'm not ready for more financial costs and the emotional/physical responsibility of another adult dog that has problems. We're gone 9 hours a day and we can't always afford dog walking/sitting. However, its really hard to see my gf go through something like this. ######

Response: NTA It’s very soon after the death of her last dog, and you also live in that apartment so you have a say. It’s gonna feel like you’re the asshole for a while, but I do think you guys should sleep in getting a new animal so that she can grieve fully. I just had my family dog die of cancer a couple weeks ago so I get it. ######


Prompt:
My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.

This has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.

Fast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.

Because of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!

TL; DR
My grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######

Response: NTA it’s unfortunate that your grandma can’t make them anymore, but I don’t think you should destroy an heirloom to placate your mother. It was a gift, given to you. ######


Prompt:
this happened in February. im 20 years old and in early feb I started having really bad cramps and was spotting. (my period is usually irregular and can hurt, but this was bad). after a day of suffering and my flow getting heavier by bf took me to the ER and called my mom and stepdad. the doctors confirmed i was miscarrying and told me i was around 11 wks and the remaining tissue was removed. my mom found out about the miscarriage and was really sympathetic because she'd had a lot of trouble getting/staying pregnant in the past. but my boyfriend and I don't want kids yet, and we actually have money saved in case we needed an abortion.

so now my mom, step dad, sisters, bf's mom and dad, and grandmother all know about it (idk who told who) they were all very sad and told me how its okay to grieve and mourn, but i wouldnt have kept it anyways, so now i just feel bad about making everyone else feel bad. my mom and stepdad paid for the hospital bills, and my bf's mom even told me a story of her own miscarriage and how hard it was for her.

my mom is esp upset that her "first" grandchild was lost and has been babying me when she can. i dont have the heart to tell them i dont want kids and was gonna get rid of it anyways, and that im relieved not sad. no one but my boyfriend knows about the abortion plans. even like three months later I still have people asking if im okay (mostly my mom). it just makes me feel guilty

im also kinda upset at my bf, cause if he hadnt called my mom she wouldnt know about the pregnancy at all. i get why he did it but still.

aita for being dishonest? ######

Response: NTA it’s ok to mourn an abortion too. Just because you’re not ready for a child, or not in a place to continue a pregnancy, or don’t want a baby, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience the emotions that come with maki g that choice. If you’re not grieving, that’s ok too. But you don’t have to tell yourself that you don’t deserve their sympathy. ######


Prompt:
I know the title sounds absolutely ridiculous and to be honest the situation is actually ridiculous so I’ll try my best to explain.

Me, my sister and her boyfriend are currently renting a house together, we all do our part and we all equally pay the rent.

The house we are renting has a fucking massive backyard.

Well one day, I was sat in the yard drinking my coffee when I had an epiphany.

I want to order a bouncy castle for my 21st birthday in a couple days time.

Yes I’ll be 21 and yes it is incredibly childish of me but god dammit we’re in quarantine and I want to do nothing more than get drunk hop on a bouncy castle and jump to my hearts content.

I am a massive fucking child I know.

I told my sister about the idea and she’s completely against the idea. She told me that it’s  immature and the only person who will get enjoyment out of my birthday will be me and that her and her boyfriend won’t enjoy it

I know for a fact that her boyfriend would love it and she’s a god dam liar.

But every time I look into the garden, all I see is the potential it has to have a wicked bouncy castle in it. My sister also claims that I’ll be embarrassing myself to the neighbours when they look out the window and see a 21 year old girl having the time of her life on a bouncy castle.

Money also isn’t an issue either and we are all thankful to have jobs and I do have the money to spare.

So, will I be the asshole if I go ahead and live my bouncy castle dreams? ######

Response: NTA it’s not hurting anybody. Bounce away. ######


Prompt:
This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.
I was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.
For my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.
For my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.
It ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded.
Discussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######

Response: NTA It’s not even that it was sexist, it wasn’t even a gift. I was personal grooming equipment to save them money. It’s one thing if they got that for you when they bought you other personal hygiene stuff but it was not what the spirit of a gift should be. ######


Prompt:
So at my job me and “Cindy” have been friends throughout university & when we graduated we both went to this company and have been here for a couple years now. I’m now 27m and she’s 28f and has been in a long term relationship for about 7 years. Her BF “Tim” was a good buddy of mine and we still hang out from time to time. Anyways so their 7th anniversary is today. Cindy’s been excited because she’s been sure that Tim’s gonna propose to her tonight. She was telling the office that he booked dinner at a suuuuper upscale restaurant in our city and some other fun things as well.

I was mentioning this to my GF when I got home and then I was like Tim better propose tonight cause she’s been looking forward to it for SO long. My GF just gave a weird look and didn’t respond. Then later on, Cindy was sending messages in our work group chat and she was saying that she had already gotten drunk and if he proposes then she’ll just be a blubbering mess and won’t even be able to say yes. I started laughing and then my girlfriend asked whats up and I was telling her then she interrupted me and said it’s a bit strange that I’m so invested in their relationship. I said that’s an exaggeration, I have no emotional or otherwise stake in that relationship but I think they’re a great pair and should get married because I know for a fact that both of them want to.

Anyways I tried to explain this to her and she wouldn’t budge on the matter. She’s iced me out for the rest of the day so I just left and went back to my place. AITA? ######

Response: NTA it’s normal to get excited for someone else’s proposal. she’s overreacting ######


Prompt:
This is more of an “Are *We* The Assholes”, because I’m speaking for everyone participating minus the friend in question.

We’re currently in the early stages of planning our trip to Japan for next year (fingers crossed things are safe enough by then). This will be our second group trip to Japan, the first one being last year (which the friend in question chose not to come on, and even openly doubted that we’d be capable of successfully organizing it).

Anyway, now that the planning stage is upon us again, he’s decided that he wants to come this time, and took the liberty of inviting his girlfriend along without consulting any of us first.

This left pretty much all of us with a sour taste; not because we don’t like his girlfriend’s company, but because, like the last trip obviously was, this trip was also conceptualized as a guys trip. So today I volunteered to be the one to speak up about it to him, and he’s not taking it so smoothly.

I tried not to be blatantly confrontational; I said that although this was meant to be a guys trip, we still don’t want to tell anyone they can’t come. So we want to try and find a middle ground, and we think that there should be another Airbnb separate from the guys Airbnb so that everyone’s comfortable. And that we can still plan our outings together etc.

He doesn’t seem to understand that what he wants to do conflicts with our collective intention of having a guys trip, and has objected to all our reasoning. I feel like we’re not in the wrong at the end of the day, but I’m trying to keep an open mind to different perspectives in case there’s somehow something that I’m missing here. Thanks for your time ######

Response: NTA it’s a GUYS trip. As a women myself if I planed a girls trip I wouldn’t want bfs or husband around either, because that defeats the purpose. I hate to sound sexist but for me PERSONALLY there are things I talk more in-depth with my girl friends than my partner. I assume that’s the same with guys. I sure know my bf talks to his friends especially his gamer friends differently than he talk to me. Your friend doesn’t seem to know how to take time away from his gf and it’s not a bad thing when it’s only his time but he’s forcing his gf on you guys which is not right. ######


Prompt:
So this isn't a big problem but both my mother and brother see me as an ass hole for not sharing my PlayStation with my older brother(22) who used to own his own playstation but sold it when he was stuck for money and every day when wake up he is playing it (shared room) and if I am on it and leave the room for 10minutes or more he goes on it and doesn't even ask not only that but he uses my account instead of his own because he stupidly bought things and won't make his own account because he already bought stuff

     AITA!?? ######

Response: NTA it's yours and he is old enough to be working and get his own, he should also know that you ask before using someone else's property. ######


Prompt:
So me and my partner are getting married in August, and we have had RSVPs back from people who say they are coming and add a +1 to the invite, and I have trouble confronting people to tell them no...

But my real AITA grievance is my mother...

She randomly calls and tells me to add this cousin or that cousin because they are family...

A side of the family I have little to no contact with because after my father passed away (when I was 16) my mother upped and left me about 2 years later to deal with a broken house and no income while she went back to live with her parents.

So AITA here for telling her no and she can't just invite whoever she likes? ######

Response: NTA it's your wedding. It's super rude for people to just tack on a +1 when it's not on their invite. wtf D: ######


Prompt: To be honest she is very lazy and does not train her dog or bring it outside. He shots and pees all over their house and she doesn’t care. She wants to bring the dog because she refuses to put it in a kennel. She asks all the time and makes up a sob story on why she needs to bring him. I told her If she started actually taking care of her dog that he could come. My friend told me I was an asshole for causing a family member to be inconvenienced and that I judged the way she cared for her dog. ######

Response: NTA it's your house, your rules. If she wants to bring her dog she's going to have to make sure it doesn't mess in your home. If not, she can leave it behind or have someone watch it. Just because it's her dog doesn't mean you have to cater to it. ######


Prompt: I (23M) will be turning 24 this Wenesday and my gf (24F) of 3 years wanted to suprise me by taking me away to the outer banks this weekend for 1 day (leave after work thursday and come back friday night).  This is a 3 hour trip one way and the weather is supposed to rain both days with a high chance.  I called her today after she suprised me yesterday with the plans and told her with the virus still rampant and bad weather, that just wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off that i took for my birthday.  This weekend i have to help her parents build a deck so this day off is honestly a short amount of time for me to celebrate which i honestly want to drink beer, play old school runescape and watch movies with her at home where it's safe. After telling her how thoughful the gift was i told her i wanted a raincheck for better conditions when we could really enjoy it, when restaurants reopened and nicer weather. She was hurt and said we still could've had fun and now i feel like AH.  So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA it's your birthday to spend as you wish.

However nobody should be out socialising right now, being around those outwith those they share a home with.  Or helping their parents or partners parents, build a deck if they don't live there too, which is not at all essential contact... ######


Prompt:
Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them.

The reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match.

Of course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc.

When I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding.

Some friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.

Edit: Clarity ######

Response: NTA it's your big day you lovely bride to be, it's not dramatic its sensible. ######


Prompt:
My daughter really likes rap music, which while a little strange doesn’t really bother me. She’s 15 and has heard all the things in the songs at school anyway. She listens on her speaker at my house.

She’s with her mom for quarantine, and we’ve fought over the music in the past. Recently her mom called me and told me to stop letting her listen to rap at my house because she’s being difficult about it at hers. I usually uphold her rules and punishments so long as they’re within the realm of reason, but this one seems silly to me.

I told her no and she cussed me out and hung up. AITA? ######

Response: NTA It's silly to bar a person from listening to a style of music. I can understand of some certain songs are banned, but blacklisting something across the board is stupid. Your house, your rules. Her mom is an ex for a reason, she does not control what you allow your children to do while under your roof. ######


Prompt:
I just called security on my neighbor. It was around 830pm today (which is a Friday). They were holding a jam session including a drum set, saxophone, bass and singer. They were playing so loud I could everything clearly through my bedroom walls and my walls were shaking.  He's played loud music in the past but has stopped not long after and it's never been a jam session. So I never called on him until today.

Anyway they decided to leave after security talked to them. The singer called out my apartment and others as they walked away. She called us all a bitch and said that she plays loud music until 3am where she lives.

AITA for calling on them at 830pm on a Friday? I know noise comes with the territory in apartments,  but this just seemed outrageous to me. ######

Response: NTA it's really not cool to have a jam session or band practice in an apartment. I mean maybe all acoustic and in the daytime but not loud enough to shake the walls.  That's just assholery. ######


Prompt:
I’ve lived in this neighborhood for ages now, and we have this cat who wanders around. Thing is, I know that it’s not lost and I know exactly who the cat’s owners are. Almost every day at the same time, when I get off the bus and walk to my house, the cat is waiting there for me and I give it a good scratch and let her snuggle against my feet before I go inside. Sometimes she follows and sometimes show doesn’t. Anyways my gf has become pretty endeared to this feline and has tried to feed it. Idk if it’s the right thing to do to feed it or not, I was always raised not to feed other people’s pets so I’ve stopped her from doing that.

It’s now gotten to the point where my gf is seriously in love with the rascall, even asking me if we should just say fuck it and keep the cat for ourselves and I laughed it off because I thought she was joking. Narrator: *she wasn’t joking*. Next time I saw the cat she had a different collar on and my girlfriend had went out and gotten a collar for “our cat”. I told her to stop being ridiculous as it’s not our cat and she argued that she spends a lot of her time here so she might as well be. I said that’s not our decision to make and told her to put the collar back on the cat and she refused and said she’d already thrown it away. I had to dig through the garbage and get it back and give it a good washing before I exchanged the collar again. Now she’s mad at me because she thinks I’m being controlling but it’s not our goddamn cat. ######

Response: NTA It's not your cat, no matter how much she wants it to be. If she's that serious about it, she needs to go talk to the owners. My ex had an indoor/outdoor cat, and would be devastated if someone stole him like that. ######


Prompt: I'm 18 and was in the kitchen making a tuna fish sandwich. I was spreading tuna but doing it slowly because I was lost in thought. The sandwich was for myself. My dad came in hovering over me. He started lecturing me on how to spread it faster. I said I don't need help. He started sarcastically ranting about "wooow you know how to make a sandwich at 18". He started trying to show me how to spread it faster and I said I don't want help. He got really mad and was yelling about how its his job to show me the right way and I'm disrespecting him. I yelled to leave me alone and he got super angry at me. ######

Response: NTA it's his job to let you spread some fucking tuna ######


Prompt: My grandmother was always very sick, and I was the only one who took care of her. Tbh I’m a medical student so it was easier for me to know what she needed, even if I was just cooking  her food or massaging her. I have 9 uncles but she decided a few days ago to change her testimony and to give me everything, including her big house. My parents found that to be unfair and my uncles keep pressuring me to tell her to change her mind, but she keep telling them that since I was the only one who took care of her, then she wants to give me everything, tbh it’s a big amount of money, but I am afraid that my uncles will hate me, and they even started to gossip that I always knew about her plan, while I didn’t! I know that this money can be beneficial for me and for my student loans but I am afraid that it will split our family, cause I know that my uncles might need that money as much as me. Does it truly makes me an asshole  if I accept take everything? ######

Response: NTA it's her choice and honestly they seem like douchebags for being mad she is giving it to the person who's helping her ######


Prompt:
AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl.  The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.

Fast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.

So a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.

Now he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit  interested in being friends with him again.

Reddit wise ones, AITA? ######

Response: NTA it's clear he never saw you as friend only as girl to hook up his friends with. ######


Prompt:
First some back story... my sister and I have never been close. I’m a bit older than her but because of life I still love at home with our parents and 2 years ago she moved to the other side of the country with her bf. Because we were never close and now she lives so far are basically just acquaintances at this point. When she does text me most the time she’s being snobby and the few times she’s been home we’ve gotten in huge fights because of her toxic behavior.

Recently I’ve over heard convos she’s had with my mom and she is planning her wedding (she’s not engaged yet but has said they are looking at places and he will propose soon but knowing my sister she is the one pushing the want to get married soon). One of the times they were FaceTime she saw me in the background and told me “One of the dates I’m looking at is your birthday”. Every year since I turned 18 I’ve gone on vacation for my birthday she obviously knows this so I told her “if you do I might not be able to come”. She got mad and my mother told me I’m being selfish and even if she plans her wedding on my birthday I better come. It became a huge fight and she doesn’t even have a date set yet.

Also about my vacation... it is the one time of year I get away. I work 32-40 hours a week on top of taking care of my grandparents. Taking them to the doctor, taking them shopping... etc. and where my sister lives isn’t a place I’d want to vacation.
So am I the asshole for telling her that/ would I be the asshole if it is on my birthday and I don’t go? ######

Response: NTA it would be petty, deliberate and inconsiderate for her to choose your birthday as her wedding date. That just guarantees that her future anniversaries will take attention away from your bday, as well as the big day causing problems for you this year. What an AH move. ######


Prompt:
So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class.
Till this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character.
AITA ?? ######

Response: NTA it was a very minor operation, and she really shouldn’t be guilting you over this AT ALL. ######


Prompt:
My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.
So I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ######

Response:
 NTA it was a gift for you not your child

However the way you've told the story makes it sound like you are both the children asking dad for time on the game. You are the parent and you need to explain to your child that the game is not his, and set reasonable time restrictions ######


Prompt:
I (29f) am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in November. My BIL and his fiancée have planned to have a wedding during this time (roughly 2 weeks after my due date) and I’m super excited for them!

However they have huge plans in place, with over 100 guests. The argument started when each family member was assigned a certain wedding task. Mine was to ensure the guests walked out with their ‘thank-you’ gifts (which is to be segregated by age & gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc. I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous. I offered to do the excel work- sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I’m being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family. I said I won’t be attending the wedding if that’s what they think of me. Honestly, I don’t even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I’m worried it’s all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child’s. My husband took their side too and I’ve had it with this family!

AITA for not wanting to attend this wedding although I love my BIL and his fiancée? ######

Response:
 NTA It took 4 weeks for me to make enough of a recovery to do any real tasks other than look after our daughter. It took 6 months to make a full recovery.
I was out of hospital 12 hours after she was born and made the stupid decision to have my family come over to see the baby 4 days later. I could hardly walk.

You may be one of the lucky ones who makes a quick recovery however I don't think you wrong here.
You will be exhausted beyond anything you've every felt before and I doubt you'll be in any condition physically or mentally to perform even this simple task.

What if like my daughter, your baby decides to hang in there (my daughter was born a week after she was due) then what?

Your husband and his family need to back off, you've offered an alternative and they dismissed you and your feelings. Seems a little self absorbed and judgemental to me. ######


Prompt:
So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52.

I got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I didn’t look insude because that’s an asshole move.

Well when I had gotten the banana and was walking back I couod hear that they were banging. The creaking and heavy breathing made it 100% clear.

I know it’s a bit weird to not just igbore it but it’s also weird to have sex with the door open in the morning when everyone is waking up. I asked them ”What the fuck are you guys doing? It’s not OK to have sex with the door open when everyone is gonna walk by!” My dad told me to just mind my own business and go back to my room.

I did what he said because I was not gonna argue while they were banging so I just thought whatever. Now I’m attending the lesson while writing this. ######

Response: NTA it sucks to be a parent on occasion, and this is one of them. They should shut the door, it doesn't take that much effort ######


Prompt:
So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.

Anyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.

We laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are "bullying" the kids. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA it sounds like your kids learned the age old lesson of what goes around comes around, and it was better than other forms of punishment you could have done. ######


Prompt:
Me (19f) and my sister (21f) haven’t gotten along since we were very young, as when she turned 11 she developed an anxiety disorder and couldn’t go to school. She refused to talk to anyone much less me. She got a therapist and started going back to school, but became rude, spoiled and downright abusive at times to my parents due to them not disciplining har as they were afraid this would trigger her anxiety. This means she is extremely messy, insists on eating in her room and not taking her plates down until they get mouldy, and would occasionally throw objects at people if she got angry.

I also have issues with her as she refused to let me see a therapist (even if they were completely different to hers) until she stopped seeing her therapist. This happened when I was around 16 when I was almost immediately diagnosed with clinical depression, and had to be hospitalised at one point. I have no way of knowing if seeing a therapist earlier would have stopped this, however I had known that mentally something was wrong before this, and it has caused feelings of resentment.

Now both me and my sister are going to College and my family want us to share an apartment that they would be willing to pay for. I refused and said that I would pay for my own apartment. My sister started calling me a selfish AH because of this, and my parents didn’t back me up.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA It sounds like you really need to get away from your sister and your parents for the sake of your mental health. I wish you all the best at university, it's a great experience, join lots of clubs and meet lots of new people, your world will expand so much. ######


Prompt:
OK, here I go. It might be long. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5, and had our first kid 4 years ago. She's pregnant with our third. Shortly after our first kid's birth, she had a burnout, and I effectively became the sole source of income for our family. She has recently made plans to return to work in a complete different career. I'm self-employed (woodworker), and so  would she (parental counseling). Now today, she tells me that with everything going on, she's thinking of home-schooling the kids. At first, I'm thinking, sure why not? She has a background in education, was a teacher, has a Master in developmental psychology. So, hey, what the hell.
Now, this is where things went awry. I asked her:
'What about your career plans?'
'Oh, I was thinking you could Monday-Wednesday, leave home early and take care of the kids from 6pm so I can take care of my clients/customers/patients (I have no idea what to call them). Then, Thursday and Friday, you'd work mornings only, and I could use those afternoons as well.'
So we got in a fight. I feel she's pressuring me into doing this her way, and leave a job I like (however physically demanding) and I make OK money with, for a dream of a perfect life she has for herself. All the while the kids are enrolled in a private Montessori school I'm paying for and am perfectly satisfied with.
I told her so. But she says success isn't only measured in hours worked. Sure, but it does pay for everything right now. And I'm afraid it won't be enough if things go her way.
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to keep things going as they are? ######

Response:
 NTA it sounds like she wants you to give up your career or at least cut it back alot so she can both home school the kids and have a full time career herself? Am
I reading that right?

Because that’s extremely unreasonable of her. You’re willing to support her pursuing a new career path or homeschooling your children. Doing both isn’t feasible and expecting you to give up your career so she can do both isn’t fair ######


Prompt:
Sounds weird, I know. So this happened a few years ago but it gets brought up once in a while. My wife and I (28 M) were having some financial difficulties. We had a bill due and didn't have the money to pay for it. We were getting a check on the following Monday and didn't want to accrue any late fees or get a ding on our credit.

My sister (20 F) was regularly talking about having extra income, buying stuff. Basically I knew she was fine in the money department. I asked her if we could borrow $50 until Monday. It was Friday when I asked. Her response was "What's in it for me?"

I got really pissed off. I had explained to her the situation and that was her response. I told her to forget it and walked out.

Fast forward about a month. My wife and I were going to the grocery store, my sister asked if she could tag along. Yeah, sure. (We both lived in my mom's house at the time.) She said she didn't need anything, just wanted to hang out.

As we're shopping she kept seeing things she wanted and grabbing them. Pretty soon her arms were pretty full. She asked if she could put them in the shopping cart. Normally I'd have said yeah, but I was still a little pissed about the money thing so I said "Whats in it for me?".

She turned bright red and stormed off. Came back with her own cart and refused to talk to me the rest of the day.

My wife said I was being petty and an ass. I know it was petty, but I was trying to show her how it felt to have someone say that.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA it must have taken a lot of courage and swallowing of pride to approach your sister to borrow money and she should have realised that, for her to respond the way she did was an asshole move.

Fast forward and you were right to bring it back up, petty maybe but must have felt good. ######


Prompt:
My parents pay for my undergraduate degree and also pay for my brother’s masters. He graduated from his undergraduate 4 years ago, and I’m finishing mine this year, I literally am just missing one more period and I finish my classes. I really want to finish my undergraduate and have my graduation with my friends.

COVID-19 has had an economic impact on my family, fortunately we have everything we need, but it has come to the point where my parents believe they cannot have us both enrolled in university, just one of us. Either way, one of us would have to pause their studies so the other can continue. He wants to continue even though he’s not close to finishing his studies yet and he already has his undergraduate degree. I want to continue because I’m so close to finishing, i just have one more period to go and I’m done.

So, am I the asshole?? ######

Response: NTA it makes way more sense for you to finish your Bachelor’s next semester while he works, and then switch off after you graduate. ######