Prompt:
Throwaway, because SIL knows my main account.

My (36F) SIL (32F)  is an extremely unlikable person.
She often takes advantage of her disability and eating disorders. As in, if you were arguing with her, she would pull that card on you. Or if she was being extremely rude and mean to you, she'd end the conversation with, "I'm disabled and anorexic, you can't be mean to me." Her disability has always been shrouded by her, even if you asked her what it was she'd change the topic.
Also, this will be relevant while you are reading this: I had a miscarriage a week ago, and my belly is still quite swollen.

This has caused me to stop attending any of my husband's family functions, because my SIL, who we'll call Dani, would always be there, and also resulted in me avoiding her everywhere.

But yesterday my husband forced me to partake in a video call with his entire family, including his extended relatives, and his direct family (Dani, my FIL, and my MIL)

Dani was being a bit quiet during the conversation, so I asked her what was wrong and she replied with "you're bloody nosy, no wonder the baby died, it wouldn't have wanted a mother like you."

I was really shocked and sad, and I revealed something that I'm now deeply ashamed of: the fact that Dani cheated on her husband with her 'friend' while she and her now husband were still dating.
Her husband was on the call, and she promptly disconnected.

Now her entire family knows that she was a cheater, and I was feeling really bad, because Dani and her husband apparently got into a huge fight, and are now seperated.
My husband told me that it was a low belt blow, and I should have calmed down, and that she's anorexic and disabled and was having one of her episode where she feels extremely bad.

This has now made me feel kinda bad.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. What she said, only a week after your miscarriage, is inexcusable. Also, it’s not b/c she’s anorexic or disabled, it’s because she’s a crap person. If her husband separated from her b/c she cheated, that’s on her for cheating.

Also, what’s up with your husband defending HER after what she said to you (and knowing she betrayed his brother)? ######


Prompt:
First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.

I am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.

She told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.

She whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from "eating dry toast this morning" and a headache "for eating chocolate"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.

I know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.

Reddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######

Response: NTA. What she is doing is dangerous. If she was any simpler, she would be sold in the produce section. ######


Prompt:
I want to start by saying my sister and I don't have the BEST relationship.

She didn't meet me until she was 18 because my mom had her has a teenager and put her up for adoption. Her adoptive family provided for her but even though her adoption was an open adoption they hate that she has a relationship with her birth family. They are an upper class family that offers to pay for anything she wants if she does exactly what they say, so she often does.

About 3 years ago my sister got engaged to a wonderful man, and she asked me to be a brides maid. I was only 23 at the time, a college student with no money. But I bought the dress, paid for my way for her shower and Bachelorette party, single handedly decorated her entire reception location.... and the day before the wedding her adoptive mom told my sister she didn't want her bio family at the wedding she was paying for. (I also had already booked off work and told my professors I'd be missing a week of school to be the primary care giver for her THREE children while she went on her honeymoon)

So. The day before her wedding, after putting out money I needed for groceries and supporting myself, she uninvited me from her wedding. I am her sister and she removed me with out hesitation or good reason from the most important day in her life. I still watched the kids of course because they were innocent in all her issues.

But now I'm engaged, and planning my wedding, and I don't want to invite her, I don't want to have someone at my wedding that reminds me how disposable I am if she's getting some cash in return. My fiance says I'm not the asshole, but my mother and brother do.

I don't really know what to do and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the asshole  or if she is. Help! ######

Response:
 NTA. What she did was pretty shitty. A day before the wedding like seriously?!
I suggest you dont call her at all for your own sanity. She didnt hesitate then why are you hesitating. ######


Prompt:
This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure!

I (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure.

Unbeknownst to me, my friend said "yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can "trust" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place.

So they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. What kind of jackass thinks he can just invite strangers to a friends house? ######


Prompt: My husband and I (24m and 21f) are expecting a baby boy in August and a lot of the family wants to come visit us once he’s born to see him. One family member is my cousin, Nicky (21f). Nicky and I are close in age and pretty much grew up together. She’s always been a very entitled and mean spirited person because her parents never disciplined her, and we even grew apart as we got older because of it. At our family get together yesterday, Nicky started making rude remarks to her boyfriend and parents. I ignored most of what she said until I heard her say something about how I married an “ugly, fat guy” because I was desperate. I told Nicky that was extremely hurtful to my husband and that her boyfriend was no prize either. She then went off about the baby, saying he was going to be ugly and that she hoped he was going to be born with various disabilities. She even said something about shaking him if she ever got her hands on him. This was the last straw for me and I told her that she’s not allowed anywhere near our baby when he’s born and that she can go ‘F’ herself for saying such a terrible thing. My aunt, Nicky’s mom, said that’s extremely selfish of me and that Nicky was just kidding and deserves a relationship with my son. I refuse to change my mind about this and never want her to see my baby if I can help it. Am I the asshole for deciding this? ######

Response:
 NTA. What kind of a person threatens to shake an infant? Your family are the AH for tolerating that and saying it was just a joke.

You are doing the right thing. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep this short. Me and my long-time girlfriend live together in Florida. My girlfriend is Irish and I am American. I normally fly an American flag in our lawn because I think it looks nice and ties the house together with a dash of 'murican patriotism. Sometimes I fly the Irish flag below the American flag.

I'm not trying to politicize this post so suffice it to say that recent events have prompted me to think it was a good idea to maybe just fly the Irish flag for a little while. So I did, Irish flag goes up and our neighbor from a few houses down knocks on our door in the late afternoon. He inquires about the lack of American flag on my pole and tell him I just feel a little bit Irish today, trying to keep things lighthearted.

We've had a few minor run-ins before. He's made some questionable comments about having a threesome since me and my girlfriend are both women and we've used the non-emergency line a few times on him when he gets drunk and starts hollering and making a racket in the wee hours of the morning. Minor mutual dislike on both ends here.

Bob (neighbor) tells me that it's disrespectful to fly any other flag on the top of the staff other than the American flag while on American soil. I tell him that this is my property and any flag I like will fly on the top of the staff whilst on my soil. He huffs away. Our neighborhood is nosy so I got 2 other visits from neighbors that day. One lady who accused me of being "insubordinate" and fake-politely asking me to put the American flag back up and one of my friends who decided to come over and tell me how me and my girlfriend were essentially the juicy new gossip. Fantastic.

Honestly I think this is all pretty stupid and I'm surprised it's become as big of a deal as it has. I suspect that our neighbors are getting bored. Obviously me and my girlfriend have one view of the situation but I'm curious to know what Reddit thinks about all this. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. What happened to land land of the free and freedom of expression. You fly your flag ######


Prompt:
I'm the middle of three. I have a younger sister (25) and an older brother (30). I'm 27. My parents, over the years, saved up 30k to be split between my sister and I for when we eventually got married, which would be 15k each.

My sister got engaged before me, and they planned their wedding for April 2020. As you can imagine, this couldn't happen. They'd picked an all inclusive venue and spent the entire 15k. Unfortunately, their venue has been horrible, denied any refund. Wedding insurance doesn't cover pandemics and they're now going under anyway. The 15k is just...gone.

My sister now wants to elope, which my parents and other family are absolutely horrified by. She and her fiance say they can't afford to pay for a wedding themselves because of their job situations. The only thing she has from the first wedding that she could take to a second is her wedding dress, which would still need to be altered.

The women in the family have been crying about it in every conversation I've had with them and begging my sister to not elope, they'll figure it out. My parents now want to take the other 15k and give my sister another wedding, obviously at a different venue.

It ended up being a huge fight of accusing me of blaming my sister for causing the pandemic, wanting her to elope and not get "her wedding" because I'm jealous, and why save it when I'm still single and will be for years now anyway. I'm 27! I'm not an old maid. I'm not jealous of my sister, I was happy for her before all this, but it would have been nice to know that when I got married, my parents could help me out too. I'm not saying it's her fault that the first one didn't happen, but factually she would be getting two weddings paid for and I'll be getting zero.

It's probably happening regardless of what I say, but am I wrong to be a little angry about it? ######

Response: NTA. What happened sucks, but no, you aren’t wrong for being upset about it. Being told that you have $15k waiting for your wedding and then having it taken away would upset most people. ######


Prompt:
 I had two sons from my first marriage that are now teenagers. I’m remarried and 6 months ago we had a baby girl. This baby is my wife’s first. I totally get what it’s like to be a worried first time parent and it’s not like I’m not worried about certain things, but with others, it’s my third time around. I’ve been there. When the baby projectile vomits, I’m not gonna panic. I don’t judge her for being so, but I think it bothers her that I’m not and she worries that I’m not going to do things right.

When the baby was born, she kept reminding me to support the head. I told her I know, don’t worry, she’s okay. Then as she got older, she kept rattling off facts about temperatures for bath water, how to put her to bed, etc. I was really being as patient as possible and listening.

When all this stuff with the world started going on, things got a bit worse. Things came to a head yesterday when I was trying to feed the baby and she was trying to tell me how to make a bottle. I gently turned to her and said “I know why you’re panicked, but I’ve done all this before, I know what I’m doing.” She for really upset and said that I was trying to say I was better at this and undermining her fears, which I’m not. I’m just saying I have parented before,so I know what to do. She then said it was wrong for me to say that because I shouldn’t remind her of my past like that and I should be supportive. Things have been strained since.

Was I wrong here? ######

Response: NTA. What does she mean you shouldn’t “remind her of your past”? You have two other kids. You’re a grown up. You had a life before her and that’s a fact she has to accept. It sounds like she’s insecure about her own parenting skills and projecting onto you. ######


Prompt:
Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here.

This woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means.

So, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, "Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?" To which I replied, "Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high." She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm.

I came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. What did she expect? Her goal was to make you feel like crap. You don't have to accept that. Good for you. Mayne she'll think twice in the future. ######


Prompt:
So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates  boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.

Later, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '

She got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.
I just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .
I told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ######

Response: NTA. What business has your roommate's boyfriend looking into pots that aren't his? If he can't handle seeing a clean piece of silicone swimming in boiling water, then he shouldn't snoop. ######


Prompt:
A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.

Eventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. What are you supposed to do if you get an alert at 3 AM?

No, the missing person is not in my bedroom. I don't intend to get dressed, get into my car, and drive around aimlessly. Thank you for waking me for no purpose whatsoever. ######


Prompt:
Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away.

She says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said.

But the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business.

Would we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ######

Response: NTA. What an extremely bizarre request. Why doesn't she move HER room or bed? Or invest in some sound dampening stuff for the wall? Or get a white noise machine? She has a lot of nerve trying to tell you where to sleep and bang in your own apartment. ######


Prompt:
This happened a couple years ago, but I recently remembered that it happened and can't stop thinking about if I was in the wrong.

I (20F) had just finished work and decided to grab a drink at Starbucks before catching my train home. Two girls (I'm assuming college age) walked in right after me, and as I was waiting in line I noticed that one of the girls was looking at me.

She noticed me look back her at her and she asked "What's your name?"

I was already a little bit uncomfortable with her looking at me and my name is a bit unique - which would make me easier to find online so I instead of answering I asked "Why?"

She started telling me about how I kinda looked like someone in her class at one of the nearby colleges. I explained that I didn't attend that college so it couldn't be me and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.

Instead she started saying I was being rude by not telling her my name and that giving someone your name when they ask is common decency. I told her I was sorry, but continued to not tell her my name. At this point her friend, who had been on the phone the entire time, finished her call and this girl started telling her about how rude I was being.

Meanwhile, it was my turn to order (I ended up using a random name for my order) and I managed to escape with my drink.

So AITA? Was I being rude? ######

Response: NTA. What a strange encounter! You are definitely not obligated to tell any stranger your name. No is a complete sentence. The only person acting contrary to typical social decorum was HER. ######


Prompt:
For context, I have tritanopia colorblindness and I've been bullied for it my whole life. I recently told my friend about it and the questions started pouring in - stuff like 'what color is this', 'read this', stuff like that. I have no problem with joking around about it, but they took it too far.

They kept laughing at me and belittling me because of it so I started to ignore them, yet they didn't realize how rude they were being. I called them insensitive and they responded with 'no im not' and sent a sarcastic heart. They kept messaging me and a day later I said 'I want an apology' to which they responded 'we all want things we cant get'. I told them how much of a cunt they were being and called them immature and went offline for the day.

I have been contemplating blocking them on everything because they took it a step too far.

AITA ? ######

Response: NTA. Weird thing for someone to make fun of and also not okay of them. The best part of having friends is we get to choose who are friends are and it sounds like they’re not much of one. Surround yourself with people who care about you, don’t waste time on those who don’t ######


Prompt:
Me - (29M) my wife - Laura (26F) old friend - Shawn (31M)

So my wife and I actually got married in December 2016 so this situation is really fucking bizarre.

An old friend of mine recently got in touch with me after we lost contact many years ago and he saw that I’m married. I didn’t tell him this because we weren’t talking at the time and he got really offended that he wasn’t invited to my wedding.

I told him that there wasn’t a wedding. My wife and I were only engaged for 6 months and took our daughter who was 6 months old at that time and eloped. The only people there were us; our kid and our witnesses were the registry office people. We literally got married on our own terms as we didn’t want a huge reception.

Shawn has used the argument that we used to be really close and that I’m an AH for not considering him as a witness even though joke of my family or friends or Laura’s were there. He also said were assholes for just eloping meaning our marriage must be shit. He then brought my now 3 year old daughter into this and I swiftly blocked him.

I’ve recently brought up this bizarre exchange with my mom and she thinks that Laura and I should have had a proper wedding instead of the registry office reception with our daughter that we wanted. A few others have agreed with her but Laura says they’re idiots for dictating what they think a “real wedding” is and her family and our friends are on our side.

Who’s the AH here? ######

Response: NTA. Weddings are fun and great and I love going to them but they are not about me or anyone who is not one of the people actually getting married! This is your life! You're allowed to do whatever the hell you want! You wanted a quiet and sudden courthouse wedding, you got one. Done and done. ######


Prompt:
I (16M) and my brother (12M) live with joint custody between my mom (51F) and dad (53M).

My brother used to have a friend (we’ll call him A) in elementary school. They were never super close and I have never liked A because he is really whiny and spoiled because his parents are very rich. A has a college age brother named N but we never really talk because we don’t have a lot to talk about and he is not home a ton.

A year or two ago my brother stopped hanging out with A because of aforementioned reasons. By this time the dad of A (AD) and my dad had become friends. My brother never formally broke off his friendship with A in the interest of maintaining good will.

Unfortunately, A can’t take a hint. My brother has refused to hang out countless times but A still thinks they are on good terms.

Between this and my dads friendship with AD we go over there sometimes

I do not enjoy being with A’s family because I don’t have any friends over there & A acts bratty and spoiled a lot. My brother does not enjoy it either.

AD and my dad have talked about going camping this summer a lot but when I asked my dad he had always dismissed it as speculation. My dad knows very well that me and my brother do not want to go camping with A. We told him many times over the months but he has not listened.

Tonight my dad told us that he KNEW that we didn’t want to go camping with A’s family but we are going anyway for 4 days. Me and my brother put our feet down between disdain for A and concern for getting COVID (my dad has not been taking COVID-19 as seriously as we would like).

This is not something me and my brother have ever done so adamantly before and we are very serious about it.

My dad passive aggressively uninvited us and called us spoiled, bratty, and disrespectful. I think the real issue here is how he ignored our wishes for months and essentially chose AD over us.

So AITA for not just going or was it the right thing to tell our dad no? ######

Response: Nta. We’re supposed to be social distancing and even if we didn’t have to, why should you have to go camping with people that you don’t like? ######


Prompt:
My sister is a single mom, and is also unemployed. She has a 1 month old and just before she gave birth she asked to move in with me because she couldn’t pay her rent anymore and her landlord wasn’t going to let her renew her lease. Now I don’t really like my sister, she’s always gotten preferential treatment by our parents, she had her college tuition paid by them, I had to get a loan, they paid her rent until she was 25, I got a job like a normal human being. Now my mother can’t let her move in because when our dad died she moved into one of those assisted living places. She doesn’t need assistance but it’s kind of like a college dorm for old people I guess. But I’m not a monster so I said okay and let her move in, can’t have a newborn living on the street.

But holy hell its so annoying. All he does is cry all day. I’m trying to work in my office and I just hear him crying away. And then whenever I leave to use the bathroom she’s breastfeeding on the sofa. I’m sick of it. I’d kick her out today if she didn’t have a kid.

I told her yesterday to go upstairs when he cries or she’s going to feed him. I don’t want to see her breastfeeding, and I don’t want to hear crying all day. She got mad and said she doesn’t want to lock herself in her bedroom all day, and I reminded her that she’s living in my house rent free. But then today when I called my mom for Mother’s Day she told me off for making her stay upstairs, saying I can’t lock my sister in her room. Apparently my sister complained to her.

AITA?

Edit: I know what newborns do, but that doesn’t mean she has to do it in the main rooms all the time. I didn’t really have a choice letting her move in. ######

Response: NTA. We pay taxes so that people like your sister have access to women’s shelters. It’s not “my house or she’ll starve on the street” if you live in any country with a social welfare system. She needs to apply for welfare benefits and social housing because this situation is unsustainable and you think you’re helping but you’re not, you’re enabling her. ######


Prompt:
I know he automatically sounds like TA, but hear me out. I may be TA.

I (30f) found out today my uncle died. My mom was trying to get a hold of him, couldn't, had police do a wellness check, and it appears he died several days ago.

My mom is beyond devastated, and I'm very sad too. My uncle had a hard life, but was a very good man. I won't bore you with the details, but between an evil ex wife and estranged children due to ex wife, he deserved more.

My bf(30 m) has been trying to be kind and supportive-- he even brought me home all my favourite food.

I had gone through facebook seeing if I could find more info on my uncle's death and only came up on my dad's Facebook. My dad died suddenly at 65 back in 2016. I loved him dearly but I hadn't seen him in 3 years as we live in different provinces... So I have a lot of guilt there. My very beloved aunt also died the night of my dad's funeral.it was a long and sad battle with cancer and I was worried she would pass away while I was burying my dad. And she did... I out while I was writing my dad's eulogy... and .It. Broke. My. Heart.

So this evening while i got teary-eyed and upset about my uncle, I said ' first my dad, then my aunt, now my uncle' to remark on the pain that their deaths caused. Other family members have died, but these ones greatly impacted me.

After saying that, my boyfriend says " ya. that's life" a little dismissively.

I snapped and said " uhhh, fucking thank you? I know that's life? But it doesnt make it any less sad".

Needless to say I got pretty short with him and told him he was being insensitive. He told me I snapped at him and he just wont say anything and will stop talking.

Now I'm grieving AND have this arguement on my hands.

AITA?

I should also note-- my bf is normally extremely kind and sweet. He's a very empathetic person. Which is why I'm wondering if IATA or if he kind of sucks for this right now. ######

Response:
 NTA. We all handle grief in different ways. He was out of line for dismissing your feelings. Grieve however you need to and for some, the grief never ends; it just gets easier to process. Look up grief button on google and it details really well how grief affects us as an ongoing thing. You’ve had 3 people who you were close to pass on fairly close together. I do think however, it may be worth it to try and talk to your boyfriend about how his statement came off and hurt.

Edit: here’s the  [grief button](https://www.mamamia.com.au/ball-in-the-box-grief/) ######


Prompt:
So I created a throwaway cause Ill be reveling some facts that would me easy to dox if I used my normal reddit account.

Im a Civilian and I work for the US Army in Korea. Recently due to COVID19 I was put under what they call a Public Health Emergency which has placed restrictions on what Im allowed to do. One of those restrictions is Im not allowed to go to any bars. If I do so and get caught I get banned from all US Military bases which translates into me getting fired.

In addition to that the US Military has undercover military police patroling popular areas looking for violators and people are losing their careers over this. To add to this my job involves me working with the military police so Im confident if I broke the rules and someone saw me id be reported.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs is a Korean citizen and also she lives with me. The rules do not apply to her.

She went out drinking with her girlfriends. She got drunk and told me I needed to come pick her up from the bar. She was in a popular area and its very likely undercover police were watching the bar she was at. I didnt think it was a good idea to risk my career to get her. I told her to take a taxi.

Apparently im the asshole for refusing to pick her up. What do you think?

O she wasnt stranded. She ended up getting a taxi home just fine. ######

Response: NTA. Was she aware about this rule for you? Either way, the taxi seemed to have gotten her home just fine. ######


Prompt:
My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much.

However, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?.

I‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused.

It caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this.

AITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ######

Response: NTA. Was fully prepared to call you an asshole but your reason for cancelling is that your cousin is being a biphobic asshole. She invited you with a guest and offered to pay for your flight, then revoked your guest because it was too gay for her. No reason you should pay for the privilege of not attending her wedding because she's decided to be a giant asshole. ######


Prompt: I went over to this guys house to hook up. I am 19 years old, female, and live with my parents while I attend college. They are strict Christians. I do not have enough to move out as rent is a minimum of 1k a month where I live and minimum wage is 8 an hour. Anyway I got back and my mother took my car and has grounded me. Which was whatever. My mother said no hookups in her house or some bullshit so it’s whatever. Well, I made the fucking mistake of going to the grocery store with her. And, I forgot I still had a super super faint hickey mark. She screamed at me in the middle of the store and got home and told my fucking dad. I am BEYOND EMBARRASSED right now and extremely angry. I understand their house their rules but my sex life is not their business!! AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Wait, they grounded you and took your car? Um, no, if the car is in your name they can not take that away from you. Do you have a friend you can stay with to get away from them? Your mother sounds like an absolute asshole though, yelling at you in a store for something that is none of her business. ######


Prompt:
Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.

Judging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ######

Response: NTA. wait until you're ready. ######


Prompt:
It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives/friends houses too.  He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.

***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ######

Response: NTA. Volunteering someone *else's* time and effort isn't a call anyone but the person themselves should be making so casually. If he was so set on getting the house cleaned for his son's birthday, he should've offered himself or *asked* and gone from there. ######


Prompt:
I will try to keep this as concise as possible.

My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.

I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.

More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######

Response: NTA. Versions of this scenario are posted here all the time from both sides; judgement is still the same, she’s an adult, she can either get food for herself or eat what the person who is cooking for the house is making. You aren’t obligated to cook something you don’t want just to appease her. ######


Prompt:
I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second.

So me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.

Now fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude?

Like I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######

Response: NTA. Usually when this topic comes up it's someone wanting their partner to get rid of a preexisting pet to accommodate them. But it sounds like you were planning to move in together prior to him accepting this dog, in which case he definitely should be consulting you and have it be a joint decision. You didn't agree to have a dog when you decided to move in together, it's not fair of him to just expect you to go along with this especially if you'll be the one expected to care for it most of the time. ######


Prompt:
Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.

This morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore.

He BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it.

Now we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it.

So internet people, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Urinating in food containers was a thing you expressed to be gross, then he mixed the tupperware containers up so you have to perpetually wonder which one's the pisserware? Yikes.

Can he hold his bladder to get to the cold, far-away bathroom, does he have a medical issue or is he a sloth? Good god, what else is he pissing in. What else. Set it all on fire.

Edit: Thanks for the awards and upvotes! ######


Prompt:
My mom made the decision on her own to allow my aunt (her sister) and my cousin to move in with us after she lost her job, her home, and essentially became homeless. She never mentioned it to me and I'm not heartless.. I understand what's going on, but they have been here for two weeks now and I cannot stand it.

The reasons I am losing my mind is because my aunt doesn't do anything but drink and watch tv in the living room all day, where they sleep, and my cousin who is 29 is literally a couch potato. He has never held a job in his life and has no plans too, on top of that his hygiene is fucking terrible. He refuses to take a shower and it's fucking gross. He wakes up at 7AM and immediately gets on his laptop until 11PM, no joke. While this occurs he demands my aunt to wait on him. He's useless. I almost throw up in my own home because he stinks so bad. My mom ignores this all by locking herself in her room and it's fucked up because it's not just us four. My boyfriend, my brother, his girlfriend, and their baby live here too.

In conclusion we’re all fucking sick of it, but my mom doesn't want to kick her out because it's her sister but I think sometimes even though shit hurts it has to be done. AITA?

TL;DR living in an uncomfortable situation with aunt and cousin, we’re sick of it but nothing’s being done. ######

Response: NTA. Unplug the internet until he has a shower..If he doesn't like it then simply change the password until he does start to like it. ######


Prompt:
Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.

When I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.

15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.

I snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson”

AITA ######

Response: Nta. Unless you work with your father and you’re 15, this person has no business trying to teach you a lesson. ######


Prompt:
I am not English so sorry for any mistakes or missunderstandings ahead of time. I am 27M if that is relevant and the woman was in her early 20's.

2 days ago on Saturday I woke up at like 2 AM(So technically sunday morning I guess) by what I can only describe as weird moans outside my window. When I looked outside there was a young woman rolling around in my front yard so I figured she must have been hit by a car or something and ran outside to help.

Nope, she was drunk, like really fucking drunk, weird noises, puking, halfnaked it was pretty damn disgusting to be honest.

So I tried to communicate with her and after like 5 minutes she literally tossed her phone in my general direction afterwhich I used her finger to unlock it and called someone marked as "Sister". After several tries she answered with as extremely pissed of voice(2 AM so makes sense lol)

Well I explained the situation and she told me she'd be like 20 minutes and to take her sister inside and put her on the couch or something. I said no because I am not putting someone who is literally laying in her own puke on my couch.

Well after like 15 minutes of me trying to give this girl coffee without her spilling it allover herself her sister arrived and immefiatly begun yelling at me for "Not helping her sister" and "Being an asshole for not putting her inside and cleaning her up asnow her car will be ruined."

I was pretty damn stunned but I got a bit of a temper myself(Mom is Serbian lol) and told her to take her sister and get the F out of here before I call the police on her sorry ass for trespassing, flipped her off and walked back inside.

Now I was pretty sure I was not TA but when I told my girlfriend on the phone the next day she said I was because the girl might have been freezing outside and that it was dangerous to not take her inside. So now I am confused, was I TA? ######

Response: NTA. Unless you were ankle deep in snow she wasn't freezing any time soon. You did a wonderful thing by getting up and helping her by getting her sister there and making sure she was not actually hit by a car or anything. The sister was awful, I would have been so grateful and apologetic if I was in her shoes. You did good, her being a puking mess isn't your responsibility - keeping her alive and getting help is as a fellow human being. That's what you did and that's fine. ######


Prompt:
For starters, he uses my car because his is wrecked (not a car accident, he didn't do repairs when needed and eventually everything started failing). I only have my temps because of the lockdown, and I'm giving it another week or so until the lines are short enough for me to be willing to take the driving test. Since I cant drive as much as him, I've been letting him drive mine. Before his car ultimately died, I helped him clean it out. It was like a goddamn hoarder's house it was so disgusting. Moldy food in fast food bags, dozens if not a hundred half empty bottles of drinks, and god knows what embedded in the seat fabric. I had completely vacuumed and deep cleaned every inch of my car when I bought it (2004 grandpa-mobile so it was in need of a good clean, and I treat it like my child because I paid for it by myself as my first vehicle). Within a week of him driving it, there were crumbs on the floor and not a single cupholder was empty. Not only this, but he accidentally left a bag of buns under the seat. I told him to take it out when I found it, he left for work, and I realized it was still there weeks later because he forgot about it again. Moldy af. I had to clean everything again myself, and snapped saying that the next time I find so much as a straw wrapper left in the car he wont be allowed to drive it anymore. He is saving up for a down payment on a nice car so I've been patient with him, but he's starting to make messes again.

WIBTA if I finally stop letting him drive it? He would have to take uber everywhere which would slow down his buildup of savings. ######

Response: NTA. Unless you want to potentially live with a slob in the future you should make it very clear you won’t tolerate that going forward. ######


Prompt:
Me and my wife split when our son was around 4ish, I don't want to go in-depth but she got married almost 3 months after our divorce.  We split custody 50/50 so I got him 2 weeks every month and summer while she got him for easter and christmas.

My ex's husband brought 4 kids together with my ex and my son, I don't have any other kids so it was just him.  My son changed the custody when he was 13 to where he spends summers, christmas and 3 weeks at my place with 1 week at their.  I know the divorce was hard and we did put him in therapy but he stopped after awhile cause he didn't feel anything was really changing and he seems better.

He texted me that he was coming over, and my ex called me and she was very mad at me.  She said that I am poisoning our son, cause she said that he NEVER talks to his step dad or step siblings.  She said thinks like he calls himself an only child, never talks to his step siblings at all, never talks to his dad and said that if he could would live with me full time.  She got mad and told me to have a talk with him cause this isn't right or fair to her husband or kids.

I told my ex that if he has having troubles at her house that is her business and not mine.  She hung up the second I said that and I didn't bring it up with my son.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Unless you are poisoning your son, but it sounds more like he doesn't like his step siblings or step father. You don't have to solve their problems, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to your son about why he doesn't like spending time there. Maybe there are some easily solveable issues that would make things better for him. ######


Prompt:
I know I'm the asshole for that pun, sorry.

Ok so here's the thing, shortly before the quarantine, there was a situation at work. We have a scent sensitive colleague who'd been around for a few months. Naturally, there was a ban on perfumes and scented creams so she can breathe. I'm fine with this. However, she started telling me I needed to change my laundry detergent.

The problem is, I have an allergy to SOMETHING in most laundry detergents. I honestly don't know exactly what it is, but I can basically only use the one or I break out in hives. And while I could realistically test a few different ones and only wash like one shirt in it, I don't really want to go out there spending 15+$ on detergent I'll likely be allergic to, you know? I did ask her what she used and bought some and it did not end well.

Fortunately, I've been working from home and haven't had to deal with this, but I just got an email from work saying we're scheduled back in two weeks and I'm not looking forward to this starting up again.

WIBTA if I refused to change my detergent? Like, I get that breathing is more important than my epidermis, but I can't be breaking out into hives all the time either. X_x ######

Response: NTA. Unless the person or workplace wants to reimburse you, you shouldn’t have to come out of your pocket to do trials. They should be sensitive to both of your issues. And if it’s incompatible, maybe assign you to separate spaces. ######


Prompt:
I’m actually making this post for my mom, because she doesn’t have a reddit account. I’ll show her the results.

Anyways, we went to a Best Buy today to look at TVs because we’re moving, and our TV is ancient and barely works anymore. When we left the store, we heard a dog barking. A dog was left in a car, not running so no AC, with one window barely cracked. It was 85 degrees out today, so the temperature in the car would’ve gotten to 104 after just 10 minutes, 115 after 20. Dogs suffer from heat exhaustion when their body temperature reaches 103 degrees, and are at risk of heat stroke when they reach 106 degrees.

First, my mom when in the store to ask them to page the owner, but the employees refused. My mom then decided to call the police, because we had no way of knowing how long the dog had already been in the car, or how long it would be until the owners got back. My mom didn’t want to risk the dog dying if the owners stayed in the store too long. So she called the police, and waited until they arrived. About 5-10 minutes after we found the dog, the owners got back. My mom let them know that she had called the police, and obviously they were mad at her because of it. They called her “uncaring.” So my mom is doubting herself, thinking maybe she took it too far. What do you think? ######

Response: NTa. Uncaring? You mean, like leaving a dog in a hot car? ######


Prompt:
So this is going to be pretty short and simple.

As me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules.

At first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild.

I love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it.

Will I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ######

Response: NTA. Ultimately this is about making sure you have as little stress as you can for giving birth, and without worrying about your babies health etc. Her hurt feelings can be soothed after, a bad labour can cause permanent issues. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

I am a 55 year old man and my wife is 56. My wife recently got a job in it building I worked at for the past 5 years. I make more than my wife for the same job and I am in a hire position than her and I work longer hours than my wife. My wife thinks that it's sexist that I get payed more than her for the same job and asked me to quit or complain about the sexist pay.

I refused and told her if I quit my job we won't be able to afford the house and we would be homeless and that we won't be able to get grocery plus I told my wife that I have years more experience than her. My wife yelled at me saying it's sexist and asked me if I am supporting sexism in the  work place.

 I told her no I am not but I am not quitting my job. My wife became furious and left and is not talking to me.I feel that my wife is right and I am the asshole hear. So I want to know if I am the bad guy who supports sexism ######

Response: NTA. U have 5 years of experience working for that company, compared to your wife, plus U work longer hours than her. Definitely, you get higher pay, than her. How can it be sexist?! ######


Prompt: So I've been at the same place for 15+ years. Kinda toxic environment with no chance of moving up in the company any time soon. Been looking at another job making more money and about the same benefits since January. Submitted my resume, took their aptitude test and now scheduled for an interview. Nothing promised but outlook is good. AITA if I get it and just turn in my 2 weeks notice or should I mention that I'm applying other places? ######

Response:
 NTA. Two weeks is standard. You owe them nothing more.

Do not tell them you are looking elsewhere. ######


Prompt:
So me and my wife (Jessica) have been together for 6 years now married for 1. However throughout that time my MIL (Julia) has always been a little on the distrustful side when it comes to me. For reference my wife is full German and I am a Puerto Rican.

It started off small so I never really cared, comments like “So Jessica how does it feel to have a taste of brown sugar?” Or one day she made some tacos for everyone and said “I hope I made them just like your mom does!” For those who don’t know tacos are a Mexican dish not a Puerto Rican dish. But none of those comments bothered me because the tacos tasted good and she tried, I get that she’s older and whatnot and she always seemed to be happy to see me so whatever.

But then I proposed to my fiancé and things started to get really weird. Like I’m talking “Oh no now our bloodline isn’t gonna be pure!” She said that as a joke but still really really weird right, but still I but my tongue cause her husband hasn’t said anything and also the entire family seems to love me and Julia actually started to try and learn Spanish.

But then me and Jessica buy a house and move in and Julia was giving Jessica some first house buying advice. Except I overhear her say, “Now you know how those people are ok their families are really close, so if they come to move in out of nowhere you have to fight to keep them out this is your space.” So I said, “Well my family isn’t a bunch of animals so how about you please leave we have a bunch of unpacking to do and in the meantime you can go to hell.”

Needless to say Julia is a total mess and went into a screaming match where “She knew i wasn’t the one for my daughter because she could sense there was something wrong with me.” I stayed quiet throughout the whole thing but now when Julia slammed the door behind her my wife turned to me and said “I get that was messed up but did you have to say that go to hell part asshole.” But seriously dealing with casual racism is enough, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Tu suegra es una pendeja racista y si sigue con esa mierda no l dejaría entrar a tu casa ni q vea los nietos si deciden tenerlos hasta q deje sus pendejadas. ######


Prompt:
Growing up, my sister had never been supportive of me. We were never very close. I ended moving out very early because we got into a yelling match about her not picking me up from the airport because she got drunk.

A year ago, I moved to a different state for a job and broke up with my then bf. When she came down to help me move, she told me I was a bitch for not letting my ex move in with me because he "loved me". When she went back home, I learned through said ex that she had invited him to dinner and he was going to go. I texted her and told her I was really disappointed that she did that and as my sister she should be supporting my decision to leave a toxic relationship. She then told me I was a disrespect brat and she couldn't believe how entitled I was and that she was disgusted I would even say something like that to her. She then called me a stuck up bitch for shoving it in her face that I'm more successful than she is... When all I did was tell her I felt disrespected.

I decided to cut ties with her and deleted her off social media. When I come visit, I steer clear of her as much as I can. But when I tell people I don't talk to her, they all tell me I'm a brat and need to keep her in my life and forgive everything she does BECAUSE she's my sister... So AITA for cutting ties with her? ######

Response: NTA. Truthfully, people think that you need to be friends with family. You do not. It doesnt matter that she's your sister if she disrespects you. You don't deserve that. At least, I dont think so, based off the information provided. Good for you for realizing that you dont need someone that disrespectful in your life. ######


Prompt:
Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story.

Approximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming.

Then one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him.

We were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy.

Since that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful.
From their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him.

From my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Truth is truth and you encouraged her to make up her own mind. If he wants a different reputation, let him work on it. ######


Prompt:
She snapped me late last night. My "friend." She asked if I would get a letter notarized for her. I thought it was a strange request, because I live in Colorado and in this state the signature must match the ID presented.

I asked her to elaborate on the letter. She said the letter said I am the landlord and her boyfriend lives on my property.

First of all, I'm not a landlord and her boyfriend doesn't live on my property because I don't own property.

Backstory: she lives in public housing and the housing authority found out that her boyfriend lives with her. To prevent eviction, she had to submit letter today that stated her boyfriend lives elsewhere.

She basically asked me to perjure myself. I said no.

But if she was a true friend, she would never have asked me this. Am I right?

I'm angry with her. I don't feel sorry for her. And I do hope she gets evicted.

And I feel like the asshole! ######

Response: NTA. True friends don’t ask their friends to break the law for them and this sounds like something that can very easily be found out. ######


Prompt:
I'm working at home now taking calls about people's loans. I got a call from some woman asking some info about her payment history and then requested a copy. So I said I'd send her a full payment report. And then *click click* "Done"

Silence for a bit. And the she asked "Are you sending it?"

I told her I just did. And then she got a little irritated. "That's it?" she said in an irritated tone.

"Yes, I already sent it." She then said "what's with your attitude?"

I said everything in a very neutral tone so I was confused. I simply said "Everything is done. Do you have any more questions?"

She then ranted at me a bit about how I was apparently acting cocky because I did that "too quickly" and easily. So I simply explained to her that it takes only a few clicks to email the info she had requested. And then she screamed "that's not the point!" and screamed a bit more and swore at me before hanging up.

All I did was send her the info she requested in a quick manner. I'm confused. So am I an asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Tone police are garbage people who are offended by anything short of theatrically fake enthusiasm by customer service workers. They do not deserve an extra second of your self doubt. Unfortunately, you are likely to encounter them from time to time in any customer facing role. ######


Prompt:
I (20F) am half Korean, half white. Most of my life, I ignored my Korean side. Lately, though, I've been trying to get more into the culture. I've been learning about different traditions, the culture, the language, and using the Korean name my grandfather gave me. My immediate family was never close to my Korean side of the family, but we were close to my grandfather.

My Korean name, for as long as I can remember, has been 지해, romanized as Jihae. I looked it up and it means sea, which I feel like suits me. I've always been drawn to the water.

Recently my sister was talking to my father and found out our names end with 혜, not 해. It's romanized "hye" instead of "hae," though it's pronounced the same (hay). Traditionally, siblings share a syllable, which is why my sister insists on me using "지혜". However, it's a tradition that's slowly dying out in younger generations.

I don't like 지혜. It doesnt feel like me, and I've been continuing to use 지해. However, the more my sister eggs me on about it, the more I worry I'm disrespecting my grandfather. I can't ask him about it since he passed years ago.

AITA for spelling my name how I always have?

Edit: The new spelling changes the meaning of the name. The new name means "wisdom." ######

Response: NTA. To be fair, with all due respect to your grandfather, a name is something one should be happy with so just use whatever makes you feel good. You surely don't mean ill, so there's no real reason to worry - it's not like you're hurting anyone or whatever. ######


Prompt:
A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.

I was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.

I explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.

I was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ######

Response: NTA. Three piercings per ear at age 7 is just silly and ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well.

My wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos.

This has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand.

However when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids.

I feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Threatening to cut off tuition!? Because they keep trying to practice a language? That’s extreme and weirdly controlling.

As long as you don’t do it when your youngest kid and wife are there, there’s nothing exclusionary about it. A housewide ban is ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
I (M21) was recently given a set of wireless ear buds, the type that hang over the ear. A coworker that im close with gave them to me as a gift since he didnt like/use them. These are expensive ones that he was otherwise going to sell online if i didnt want them.

The problem is this. Upon coming home and telling my mother about it and how nice it was for him to gift them to me, she asked, which then became practically begging me to give them to her after i had initially said no. She had gone on to say that she never got to have nice headphones/listenjling apparatus and how she had gotten me nice things in the past.

I didnt really want to give them up, but i also felt guilty about keeping something nice from her. She's someone who's worked very hard to give me a good upbringing and right now we're both working to pay for expenses between the two of us. But I also refrain from buying anything unnecessary because i know we're short on money, while she's usually buying new clothes and shoes now and again.

WIBTA for not wanting to give up an expensive gift? ######

Response: NTA. Those things are like £60. They were gifted to YOU. Perhaps for a birthday you could gift her a set but those ones are yours. ######


Prompt:
Most of your schools probably have had the fundraisers where you sell their wrapping paper or food or something and they give you a prize.

We had one of them come over to my school and I looked at the catalog. If i sold 10 dollars worth of goods i got a prize that was worth like 25 cents. If i sold 25 dollars wroth of goods i got something worth a dollar. If i sold 50 dollars worth of goods i got something worth 5 dollars. If i sold 100 dollars worth of shit i got something worth maybe 10-20 dollars (couldn't find the price of this one online). I can't remember the rest this was all like 5 years ago.

The person was making a presentation telling us how we can raise money for the school. He asked if we had any questions and I then asked him "what percentage of the sales actually go to the school and not to your company?" and he said that "well we can't answer this question but i can tell you a lot of it will go to the school thanks for the question" and before he could say next person i butted in  "what's the point of me spending hours if not days trying to get 100 dollars worth of sales when i can just mow my neighbors lawn for an hour and get 20 bucks to buy the shitty prizes online for a cheaper price?"

Everyone starts laughing at this point and he basically refused to answer the question and told me to sit down. Principal came over and pulled me out and told me to sit in the office and told me i was extremely rude and disrespectful to adults. I became sort of a legend my middle school for this, though i was put on probation and they told me if i ever pulled this shit again i'd be suspended. Fuck my middle school ######

Response: NTA. Those school fundraiser companies are such a scam and you were right to ask how much actually goes to your school (spoiler, if the answer to your question was "I can't answer that", then the school will be lucky to see more than 5% of the sales). On top of that the sales tactics they use to get kids into it are super shady. Good for you seeing a scam and calling it out. ######


Prompt:
im a 14 year old high school freshman and my mom and i were just having a conversation like normal, but then she asked me whether or not i’d let her live with me when i was an adult and got married. i answered no because if i were to be married, the only people i’d want to live with are my wife and my kids (if i had any), and it’s likely that my would-be-wife would agree with me.

but my mom then got upset and kept accusing me of not wanting to care for her when she grew old but i explained that i wouldn’t want to live with her but i would still take care of her. she continued and compared me to my older sister, who said that she’d be fine with letting my mom live with her and her husband.

i don’t think i’m an ass but she’s really upset at that and there’s this weird tension between us now ######

Response: NTA. This would be controlling behavior regardless of how old you are, but it's especially bad since you're only 14. You would likely be miserable if your mom moved in with you as an adult. ######


Prompt:
Like a lot of people, I had to save up and buy my own car. I was lucky to find an old Volvo in 2016 when I started my freshman year of college. All 4 of my siblings got cars from my parents but times changed and they couldn't afford one for me.

My sister who I love has crashed 2 of her cars. Each time my other siblings pitched in to buy her another car. At the time it didn't really bother me since I had my own car. In 2019 my Volvo had major mechanical failures and the repairs would cost more than the value of the car. I had a job but I still couldn't afford the repairs. So I spent my senior year of college without a car. Thankfully the bus system was amazing and it took me to my job and other places I needed to go. In January my sisters car broke down but it still works.

I woke up last week to a new car in the driveway and for a few minutes, I thought it was mine. When it was given to my sister I lost it. Everyone in my family was home and I let them have it. She doesn't have a job so she doesn't need it for work. This is her third car. My internship couldn't bring me on full time so I can't afford to buy a car. I am still pissed off at what happened. They knew I need a car and they bought her one. ######

Response:
 NTA. This whole “you’re not entitled” line of reasoning sometimes goes too far here. If your family’s internal culture is to pull together and help each other *when you can*, and you’ve participated in that as a general rule, then heck yes you’re entitled to their help when it’s your turn. That’s the dynamic that’s been set up in your family and what you’ve been raised to believe in, not just “expect”.

For the people here wishing to be pedantic, the fact is, you may not be entitled to a car, but you ARE entitled to reciprocation. ######


Prompt: I told her I felt it was misleading to make me think she couldn’t afford to pay for her car battery if times were so tough and she can justify getting her nails done when I’m struggling to make it myself. Mind you she is on a fixed income, disabled, retired, and receives government compensation (social security/disability/drives Uber) for all of her bills, necessities, and fun. I’m a healthcare worker who works full time with 2 roommates out of work and on unemployment applying to grocery stores for work. We are making it work but I am trying to support us adoring this crisis with what I can but I can’t help but feel this is super selfish and wrong. ######

Response: NTA. This wasn’t okay. You aren’t obligated to financially support your mother and she manipulated you into doing so while using her money for unnecessary things. Not cool. ######


Prompt:
I (23F) am gay, I came out to my family when I was 18 and my family reacted pretty well. Sometimes my mom will say like low key homophobic things but it’s really whatever.

I’ve been dating a girl (23F)(Let’s call her K) for about three years now, and I took her home to meet my parents last week. My parents like her and all which is good. But this is the convo my mom, K and I had last night.
We were all sitting in the living room and she randomly says

Mom-“So who’s the man in the relationship?”

Me-“Umm..what?”

Mom-“Whose the man. You know. During sex.”

Me-“What the actual fuck kind of question is that?”

Mom-“I’m your mother. I have the right to know that about you.”

Me-“ No you don’t. Why would you want to know ANYTHING about your daughter’s sex life? What’s wrong with you?”

Mom-“K, you’ll tell me. Which one of you is the man and which one is the woman? Are you the man?”

Me-“ Yeah okay so me and K are tired we are going to bed.”

K and I stand up and start walking up the stairs.

Mom-“It’s just a simple question! Why does it matter so much?”

I tell K to wait on the stairway and I go back down to my mom.

Me-“The fact that you want to know about my sex life is so weirdly disturbing that I don’t even know what to say. What is wrong with you? Jesus Fucking Christ”

I was so weirded out by my mom doing this that we left that morning to go back home to our apartment. My mom has texted me a few times asking why I left and why I wouldn’t answer her questions about my sex life but I’ve ignored her. I do feel bad leaving because I haven’t seen my parents or my siblings in a while but wtf. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. This was suuuuuper cringey.

Firstly, she is not entitled to information about your personal life, sex included. Can't believe I'm typing this.

Secondly, this heteronormization of homosexual relationships is just wrong. Wtf is that questipn even supposed to mean. You're obviously **both** the woman in your relationship, duh!
So I'd either go with that or ask her stupid question right back at her. Who's the man and woman in **her** relationship?

Also, even if she were oblivious to all of that. You saying you don't care to answer this question should have been the end of it. Digging her heels in like she did and even continuing to harass you makes her the super AH. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because this will be obvious on my personal.

I (M17) live with my sister (F16) and my mom and dad. Very recently, my sister has gained about 20000 followers or so on Tik tok and has managed to gain a few sponsorships equivalent to about 500$. This, of course, made all four of us extremely proud of her. However, because of this, my sister has flirted with the possibility of quitting high school to focus on Tik tok and social media full time. My mom and dad both actually want her to do so because they’ve heard about the millions people can make. Of course, this made her extremely happy because she’d quit high school to do something she likes but any sensible person (I think), would say this is a terrible idea. I couldn’t let this happen so I sat down with my mom and dad and showed her a bunch of statistics on how hard it is to really make a living off of social media which thankfully changed their minds. I feel kind of bad because I may have robbed her of some happiness but I have no clue ######

Response: NTA. This was a very poor decision on her part to not finish high school to focus on social media. If something goes wrong with TikTok, she's out of luck. You're not a bad person for doing this because you care for her. ######


Prompt:
I'm a high school teacher. I have one student who didn't pass, and now his mom and some of his other teachers want to have a meeting this afternoon talk about how we can make up the work and get him credit for his classes so he doesn't have to retake them.

This kid couldn't be bothered to show up and do the work all year. He was chronically absent and didn't do anything on the rare occasion he did show up to class when school was still in session. After the schools closed, he had months at home with no new material in my class that he could have used to make up the work. Instead, he put it all off until the last week of the semester and then half-assed everything because he didn't pay attention in class when we learned how to do the work. I feel like he's dug his own grave, and I haven't seen any changes in behavior that suggest he'd actually start trying to do well now.

On top of that, my contract ended a couple days ago. Sure the school said they'll pay me extra for working with him, but it's outside of my contractual duties. And I already have a summer job starting next week, so I don't want or need the extra hours. The only thing pushing me to join this meeting is a sense of guilt because I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything possible and going the extra mile if I don't attend the meeting. He *will* have to do summer school or retake the class next year if I don't join the meeting and offer him a customized path to make up his missing work, but doing so will further eat into my time over the next two weeks as I'll have to schedule Zoom meetings with him and take time to grade his work.

And my wife gets off work early today. We'll probably just end up watching a movie or something, but I'd rather spend the time with my wife. I feel a little petty saying this, but spending time with my wife is more important to me than trying one more time to save a student who has spent all year sabotaging himself.

So would I be the asshole if I skip this meeting? ######

Response:
 NTA. This sucks for the student. Sounds like he's had ample opportunity to get caught up, and squandered it.

Something we tell our kids (16, 13, 6): You are free to choose. You are not free of the consequences of those choices.

This student chose to do nothing all year. The consequence is summer school or repeat the the class next year. That is not your problem. That is a student/parent problem. ######


Prompt:
Some backstory:
     So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store.
    Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes.
    He responded with "well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you."
   I said "well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them"
    He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.
   Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ######

Response: NTA. This sounds more like your roommates are using the pregnancy to avoid doing their fair share of the work. If her husband doesn't want his wife doing chores that's fine but its up to him to pick up that slack ######


Prompt:
So. My siblings and I (2 sisters + 3 brothers + me) decided to go to a Korean bbq place a while ago. One of my sisters, let’s call her Maddie is very proud of her language skills. Idk what that even means. She doesn’t let anyone correct her and gets very upset if someone tells her she’s wrong.

So as soon as we enter the restaurant she greets a waitress with a “konnichiwa”. This waitress is a pro. Doesn’t even look surprised. She greets us in Korean and leads us to a booth.

We all sit down and hope that maddie doesn’t say anything like that again. No such luck. Every time a waiter/waitress approaches our table she greets them with a “Konnichiwa” and says “arigato” when they put down our food. By the 3rd or 4th time even the staff are looking amused.

One of my older brothers, brave soul he is tries to tell Maddie to “maybe cut down on the greetings and thanks” since we are at a *Korean* restaurant- emphasis on Korean. She doesn’t get it.

Enter brave soul sibling number 2: attempts to directly tell her she’s been talking to them in Japanese - gets cut off. None of us try again.

At the end of the meal, we are all trying to hold back laughter. As we are leaving, sister turn around and says “Konbanwa”.

After leaving the restaurant I was the first one to break. I start giggling, then my other sister follows as well. Maddie immediately asks us why we’re laughing. We tell her that she’d been speaking Japanese in a Korean restaurant. She vehemently denies it.

We pull out google translate to prove it to her. Immediate “You could’ve done that while we were eating instead of letting me embarrass myself in front of them”.

Yeah, she didn’t talk much during the drive home. ######

Response: NTA. This sounds like a damned if you do and damned if you don't moment. Your sister was told a number of times that she was wrong but she got annoyed at the interference. Then she got annoyed outside when she realised she messed up. Your input wouldn't have made any difference at all. ######


Prompt:
My dad owns a pizza place that was handed down to him from my grandfather.

I've been working at the pizza place my while life, even part time while I got a business degree.

I found out last early last year that my dad had willed the restaurant to my stepmom. His reasoning being she needs to be taken care of after he dies. And that it would go to me after she died.

I was pissed and "quit" the next day. My dad ended up hiring two people to make up the work I was doing.

Now this is the potential asshole part. A month after I quit, I found a great location where another pizza place had shut down. I bought it and had it up and running in two months. My restaurant is take out only, but my business is doing extremely well.

My dad reached out to me last September and said that his restaurant was losing business because of me and to please come back to the family business. He offered to buy my business so I would get something out of it.

I declined the offer. Now the craziness of 2020 happened and because my restaurant was already setup for takeout, I'm only seeing a 5-10% drop in revenue.

The family restaurant however, is going under.

Now there's a whole lot of arguing about me causing my dad's family to become financially ruined.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. This sort of thing is exactly why my dad didn't finalize his will until he'd sat down and talked to me and my step mom together and let us come to a decision. He could have just as easily split ownership of the shop until your stepmom died and chose not to and now he's suffering the consequences of his actions. And clearly, his child is better able to run a successful business in the modern world than he and his wife are. ######


Prompt:
This whole argument is really weird to me. Basically, I'm on my period and my boyfriend said offhand he was glad he didn't have to deal with that and said something along the lines of, "I bet you wish you had a dick." To which I responded, "no, not really."

He seemed kind of taken aback by that and pressed the issue of exactly why I did not want to have a dick and I basically told him male genitals seemed really uncomfortable and awkward to possess, like I don't want some meat and a nut sack just chillin in my britches. Hard pass. He got weirdly offended by this and said I was being sexist??? I told him that I observe him scratching his nuts or rearranging his junk multiple times a day and that it would make me crazy if I had to constantly attend to my genitals like that. He got so mad about this to the point he stormed off to let me "think about" why what I said was so upsetting.

I don't get it though? Not 5 minutes earlier he was trashing vaginas and periods, but that's okay, for reasons? Y'all help me out lmao ######

Response:
 NTA. This reeks of the low-key sexist "every woman secretly wishes she were a man" thing. Insecure men really, REALLY care about the fact that they have a dick and somehow it makes them powerful and strong or some shit.

Yes, women may get periods but like...a dangling appendage that just kind of awkwardly hangs there sounds terrible to me lol. ######


Prompt:
I have a good friend from high school that I still hang out with (we are 5 years out from high school). We hang out a decent amount but mainly just to drink and smoke and go to raves together. He’s a really nice guy and a lot of time will smoke me out or gives me rides places without me asking. I’d say we hang out at least a few times a week to smoke some weed or whatever. He had been telling me for a while that since high school I had gotten much better looking especially since I have been working out for a few years and started going to expensive barbers to get better hairstyles. I didn’t think much of it because I was aware that he had a girlfriend. The other day he suggested that I sleep over because we had been drinking quite a bit and it would be unsafe for me  to drive back to my parents house( which was a very good suggestion on his part). I said ok I’ll grab the couch in the living room and you go sleep in your room.  Fast forward to later that night I wake up and this man is grabbing my shoulders completely naked and I freak out saying don’t effin touch me or else I’ll beat you up/call the police. I had told him multiple before when the topic came up that I was not gay at all so I’m unsure why he tried this. He goes back to his room and goes to sleep and ignores me questioning him about what the fuck just happened. I grab my things and drive back to my house and he texts me the next day saying he was blacked out and doesn’t even remember doing anything. I tell him that I don’t think we should hang out anymore because I felt completely repulsed at what had transpired. He tells me that I am being unfair because he had no control over his actions because he was so drunk. Thoughts?

Edit: wanted to clarify I’m a dude not a girl since some of these responses are assuming I’m female sorry didn’t clarify in the post ######

Response: NTA. This really shouldn't even be a question ngl. He has a gf and hitting on you even when he's drunk isn't an excuse for him to do so ######


Prompt:
Alright. So, kids are definitely a far off thing. I’m still under 18 and I don’t personally feel prepared to raise a kid, nor do I think I will be for the next good few years. But today some of my friends were talking about what they want their kids name to be (again just hypothetical future kids, none of my friends are actively pregnant). I chimed in, saying that I’ve always liked the name Laura. One of my fairly close friends asked if I’m really fit to be a mom or if it’d be unfair to the kid. Here’s the thing- I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. It does impact my life obviously, but I can still do most normal people things.

I removed myself from the conversation to think for a while. I’ve never really thought fully about whether I want kids, but I certainly never thought that it’d be unfair to the kid just because I can’t walk. I PMd my friend asking if she really thought that it’d be unfair after the group chat convo moved on, and she doubled down and said yeah because kids deserve normal parents, and it’s unfair that I would take that away from them. Honestly idk what to think now. I’m a bit upset, but I don’t want to make a scene or anything. And I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and maybe she’s right. ######

Response: NTA. This really hurt me to hear. I’m a social worker for children and adults with disabilities. It’s revolting how discriminatory the system is. Spina Bifida can be genetic, but it’s very unclear at the present. You are not less of a parent because you have a physical disability. It seems your “friends” are uneducated on the subject. ######


Prompt:
My sister been addicted to drugs for about 3 years now, she’s addicted to Heroin and Fentanyl and just start using something called Purple down.

She has down a lot of awful things to get her fixed, like steal money from her family and sell her body, she claims now that she got everything under control which I don’t really believe.

Recently I found out that her soon to be husband doesn’t know that she’s an addict, My sister was acting odd when I brought up the monthly cost of it, she nervously laughed and said “you’re such a weirdo talking about that, are you into drugs now” so when her husband left I asked about it and she confessed that he doesn’t know I got super angry at her and told her she needs to tell him especially when you guys are trying for a baby and she said “I got everything under control so he doesn’t need to know” I got so upset that I left because I knew I couldn’t have at productive conversation at that time

A week later, I called my sister and tried to convince her that she should tell her fiancé about her drug problem and she said “I can’t do that, I will get off them soon” and when I asked her if she was gonna go to rehab she said “no” I then asked if she not going to rehab then how will you get off them and she claimed she was gonna do it by herself

Now I heard her claim she was gonna get off the drugs by herself for 2 years now so at this point I was frustrated and decided to call her fiancé and tell him, he was super upset and hurt that she didn’t tell him sooner but my sister was super Angry at me and threatened to disown me and never let me see my future nieces and nephews

AITA for telling my sister Fiancé ######

Response: NTA. This isn't everyday shit we're talking about. Your sister is addicted to what are literally the two most damaging and addicting drugs. At that point of addiction and delusion (her insisting she's going to get off), you almost can't give her the adult-like respect and independence that you would give to anyone else and not "get into her business". You saved that man's life in a way. Now he at least has the right to decide rather than be blindsided. ######


Prompt:
My friend is dating a guy who is a financial drain on her. He is an “entrepreneur” who can’t choose a practical career for shit.

He has been in 2 MLMs and has been a failed youtuber in the 3 years I’ve known him. Right now he’s in Forex doing terribly. He is in perspective definition, a NEET.

To his credit, he has always had a part time job. But, because he tanks all his money in these “side hustles,” he rarely makes enough to pay rent. In the past year, I think my best friend had to pay his half of the rent at least 3 times, and they live in a fairly pricey city.

The reason I brought this up is because my best friend called me crying and telling me that she thinks that she has to downgrade her apartment because she can’t continue paying his portion of the rent.

I told her she never should have moved in with him, and she needs a boyfriend who is at her financial level. I don’t think a woman who would have a secure and middle class life should be worrying about a man baby, especially since she wants children soon.

She got really offended, but I think she needed to hear it. She told me “never to bring it up again”, but I truly think she’s blind to his faults. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. This isn't about needing someone rich, it's about needing a partner who is responsible and who you can plan for a future with. She needed to hear it. ######