Prompt: I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ######

Response:
 NTA

Wow, you're a really responsible and resilient 15 year old!

You can help your parents out and still be a kid, or at least that's how it should be. What's happening here just isn't healthy for anyone, especially you and the baby-and it could be dangerous.

You need at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night and at 15 you need it so your brain is healthy enough for your body to grow and brain to mature. You won't be able to keep this up forever and it's going to get to a point where you'll fall asleep when he needs you most and it'll end badly. You just shouldn't be bearing the responsibility of being a parent at 15 when you're not in fact a child parent.

Talk to them honestly about what this is doing to your physical and emotional health; and that while you're grateful that they trust you enough to carry this load alone at 15 you're honest and real enough with yourself to tell them that it's too much for you. Let them know you no longer feel safe or confident in  babysitting so often alone and overnight anymore. I know that you're probably on limited resources and there's not a lot of alternatives to the situation but that's actually not your responsibility at this age; it's theirs.

Best of luck to you, OP. You're a great kid and you've been a great sibling. Your family is lucky to have you.

Edit: added not and a semicolon. ######


Prompt: I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Why does he use your room?? What's wrong with his room?
Tell your parents if they think he should be able to use your room then he should be forced to clean it up as well, or if it's no big deal then they wont mind if he uses their room.

I find it weird that he goes through the hassle of moving it constantly. ######


Prompt:
Note: This argument happened pre-COVID, but it's been eating at me for a while.

I was running errands with my mom and my infant daughter and we stopped at a restaurant to grab some take-out. The group ahead of us (a woman with her parents) saw my daughter and commented on how pretty she was.

While I was holding my daughter, the woman approached me to ask about her and tell me she was struggling to have a baby herself due to PCOS. I mentioned that I also had PCOS and recommended my fertility clinic. Then she asked to hold my daughter and reached out to her. My daughter shrank away and I was getting my own weird vibes, so I told her it wasn't a good idea.

When my turn came up to order, I handed my daughter to my mom. As I ordered, my daughter got squirmy, so my mom let her down on the floor. Shortly after, the woman's mom walked over to my daughter and tickled her. My daughter ran back to me and hid behind me.

I was pissed that someone would touch my daughter after I had already told them no. My mom started to apologize for my daughter, but I interrupted and said that my daughter's body is her own. And if she didn't want someone touching her, then I hoped grown-ups would respect that.

The other group finally got the hint and left my daughter alone after that. My mom scolded me, saying I was being too harsh about them touching my kid. She said they didn't mean any harm. I told her that they probably didn't, but I wasn't taking any chances.

So... AITA?

EDIT: Some clarifications:

\- My daughter started walking on her own at 9 - 10 months. The whole crawling/pull up on furniture/walking progression was super quick.

\- I'm not sure why my mom let her down on the floor, but probably the same reason she thought strangers touching my child was NBD.  ######

Response:
 NTA

why do people feel so entitled to touch/hold a STANGERS baby/toddler?? They don't know you and you don't know them. Yes, they are extremely cute. Just do your little googley eyes, wave, smile and coo. Especially since the mother already said no.

It also reminds me of service dogs. People want to pet them. Owner says no, they're working. They get all butt hurt.

Respect people's choices. Respect people in general.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. ######


Prompt:
So my sister recently gave birth, and her husband died ~2 months before that. She called me today asking if I could stay with her because she’s having trouble with the kid. I told her I would have to ask my wife.

I asked, and she said it would be fine. I asked if she would come with me, and she said she would. We think it would be a good “trial run” if you can call it that because we’ve been waffling on kids.

I then called my sister back and asked if my wife could come. She said no. I asked her how long she expected me to stay and she said she didn’t know. I don’t like the idea of being away from my wife for an unknown amount of time, taking care of a kid during a pandemic. I told my sister I couldn’t go if my wife couldn’t come, and she yelled at me and hung up. Wife thinks I should go anyway.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

When you are married you come together! If you sister wants help, she should accept your wife coming as well. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.

We did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.

We wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it.

Dad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them.

Both of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it.

She never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.

I was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone.

My sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.

I’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.

On one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ######

Response:
 NTA

What do they think happens with daughters of single dads? ######


Prompt:
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.

My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.

Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######

Response:
 NTA

Weddings are already stressful, don't invite someone you don't trust not to make a scene. ######


Prompt: So I (18f) decided to take my little brother outside to play with chalk today since it’s the nicest day we’ve had in awhile. I was just wearing simple black leggings (not see through or anything) and a top. Obviously I was bending over on the ground drawing chalk with him and after about 20 minutes this lady comes over and is FREAKING out. Telling me I’m dressed highly inappropriately and that I NEED to change my clothes because her husband is peaking out of the window watching me. I told her I wasn’t gonna change but then she called me a *slut* for wanting a “grown man” to look at me, so I did, I went in and changed. I changed into some shorts I had since the leggings weren’t okay and it is VERY hot outside. I only wore the leggings originally because I didn’t shave my legs but I changed for her. I didn’t wanna change into anything thick so shorts were the next best option. So I went back outside and she was just waiting by her front door and screamed that I was a “disrespectful little shit” and went inside and called (you’ll never guess) the police lmao. I don’t know what she told them but 2 of them showed up and she puckered up and was like “look how she’s dressed, there are CHILDREN in this neighborhood”. The police officer quickly glanced and told her I was dressed fine but recommended that I go change to prevent conflict. So I went in the house and my mom tried saying that while it was fucked up of her to confront me, she could kind of understand her frustration. I understand that maybe she was just upset and I wasn’t exactly helping, but like c’mon I’m not the bad guy here, am I? AITA for not changing into something less “tight and revealing” to keep her husbands eyes off of me? ######

Response:
 NTA

Wear whatever clothes make you feel comfortable on your own property. Really hate hearing about women blaming other women for their husbands being creeps. ######


Prompt:
I'm new here, so please forgive any mistakes I may make.
I have two boys with my now ex wife, who decided that after the birth of our second son that she didn't want to be involved anymore. She divorced me, and I was stranded full custody since she didn't want anything to do with our kids anymore. It was certainly an adjustment, but I found that both myself and our sons, after the initial shock, were both dealing great without My wife, who, to be clear, didn't settle for anything less than perfection.
Fast forward fourteen years. Both of my sons are doing amazing, and so was I. We never moved from the house we lived in with my wife, so it shouldn't have been so surprising when My wife showed up at the door, claiming that she wanted to be Part of our lives again, in her own words.
I, of course, refused to have much to do with her, but if Our sons wanted to know her, then I wouldn't stop them. so I agreed to talk with them, privately, that night. I made sure not to involve my feelings, just that if they wanted to, they could have a relationship with their mom. And they didn't. No much what I tried to say, they refused. I told them to sleep on it, And they agreed. And came to the same conclusion.
When I told my wife about their decision, and, by extension, mine, she got angry. She accused me of 'poisoning ' their minds and told me that she'd take it to court if I still refused to let her see them. I said that I couldn't make them, And that she relinquished her parenting rights years ago. She got angry and hung up, but not before telling me that that I better be expecting a call soon.
I really don't believe her, but still, i appreciate any opinions, And if I'm being too harsh. ######

Response:
 NTA

Time to lawyer up broseph, just to be sure she doesn’t force her way in.

Good on you for taking care of your boys and giving them a stable environment. I hope one day when their adults they’ll let it be known that you did a great service by them.

Edit: changed “to them” to “by them” ######


Prompt:
So I (21F at the time) gave birth to twins about nine months ago, we waited about a day and a half before telling anybody we'd given birth, including our parents. We wanted to wait until we'd named them (we had names picked out before birth but changed our mind once they were born) as well as until we could be sure that Twin A would be okay (she needed to be resuscitated when she was born and was on breathing support in the NICU for a little) before saying anything.

&#x200B;

Nobody else has said anything but a few months ago my mum basically called me a dick for doing it saying "who the f\*\*\* does that". It's not like we held off on telling her specifically (although considering she announced publicly with pictures that I sent her before we'd even been able to tell my brother or FIL I might next time haha), we just held off on telling her in general. She also hasn't met them in the time since they've been born (obviously won't now because of the restrictions) so it's not as if she was super excited to meet them.

&#x200B;

So AITA for waiting a day and a half before telling my mum I'd given birth? ######

Response:
 NTA

Though I don’t know the specifics. It doesn’t seem you have a close relationship. Sometimes you need time to process things before you tell everyone. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.

So I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ######

Response:
 NTA

This was so much worse than I thought.

I’m not an ant person

Or a bug person.

But nothing deserves that sort of treatment. ######


Prompt:
So I work at a fast food shop, and we close at 9 PM. We technically close at 9:15 for people who are in shop, but given corona, we do not allow people to eat inside. Every sign says 9 PM, so not many people (if any) know about the 9:15. Also, not every manager follows 9:15, and sometime it just depends on the day.

Someone came in the drive-thru at 9:01, and before I could say anything, my manager told me not to. Most of my coworkers will not say anything to potential customers who go through the drive-thru after we close, and just let them sit there. I personally do not like doing that, so I make sure I say "thank you for choosing [job], unfortunately we do close at 9 PM but for your convenience we will be open at 11 AM]". Most of the time, people will just say okay and drive off.

I also have a very high pitch customer service voice, and sometimes I wonder if it sounds sarcastic or b*tchy. I don't mean it that way, but it could be taken that way.

Anyways, when I told this woman that we close at 9, her response was "wow I'm 1 minute late, f*cking b*tch."

I was told to not say anything, and would have had to take and make the entire order myself, as my coworkers had closing tasks to do so we did not get out late.

AITA for not taking her order, given that she was only one minute late? ######

Response:
 NTA

This isn’t even a debate, your manager told you not to, that’s it ######


Prompt:
I've previously made a post in regards to the situation with my neighbors but the short version is that they used to be my friends mutually with my wife but when my wife and I had issues and she left me temporarily they told her she should take me for everything I'm worth.

After finding out I decided to not have anything to do with them, well my child's birthday was this weekend and she really likes them so my wife asked me beforehand if it would be okay for them to come. I said it was fine but don't expect me to be all chit chatty with them and I would probably steer clear.

The day came and they never showed, I asked my wife how come they didn't come as I thought they were going to. She said that they know I hate them (I don't really hate them, I just don't want to associate with people who actively tried to harm me) that they noticed I won't even say hi to them anymore etc.

I feel bad that they missed out on the birthday party putting aside my feelings towards them. They however haven't made any attempts at reconciliation with me regardless and to my understanding don't even recognize why I dislike them.

So AITA for this situation? ######

Response:
 NTA

They made their choice when they chose a side during your separation; they sealed that choice and all its repercussions when they told your wife to "take you for all you're worth." If they wanted civility they should have stayed quiet and let you and your wife handle your troubles.

You were being neighborly and a good parent to your kid by inviting them. It's on them that they didn't show; but I can't blame them, they look foolish. As long as their kids are still cool playing with yours I would just let it stand like it is.

You're clear on your opinions of them and you made an effort. Wipe your conscience bc nobody wants to pack their bags for a guilt trip down Neighborly Lane.

Good luck!

Edit: Corrected quote. Moved NTA to top. ######


Prompt:
So this literally just happened and I personally don't feel I am the asshole but apparently According to everyone else I am.

So here's the story.

My brother has 3 kids all under the age of 5. They have had head lice atleast 4 times, this time I think makes the 5th time they've had it.

We ALL know EXACTLY where it comes from but my brother and his gf refuse to stop sending their kids over there because this is the only person who will baby sit all 3 kids for cheap.

When the 3 youngest kids got head lice the last time me and my mom spent HOURS trying pick their heads clean because they were 2yrs old, hand no idea what was going on, fought, screamed, cried, and we're over all miserable.

After that time I swore I would never do it again because it's so freaking easy for them to prevent their kids getting lice and why should me and my mom be the ones who have to do the clean up of their mess.

Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME they've gotten lice, everyone BUT my brother and his gf have done the clean up. They have never had to do it themselves.

This time was the first time they ever had to, and the rushed it. Because they rushed it they did not get all the lice and the day care called them saying they need to check their heads again.

My mom and brother asked me to come help. I said No. I don't feel is should have to because they finally need to clean up their own damn mess.

But apparently now I'm a bitch because I don't want to and I should help them because my brothers GF is at work and he's the only one working on them.

Tldr: my brothers kids always get lice because they keep sending them back to the source. I refuse to help clear the kids heads because my bro and his gf have never had to do the clean up and I think they should do it on their own. ######

Response:
 NTA

They are their children. It's actually worrying that if no one else does it they won't and it has neglect feel to it. ######


Prompt:
**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable.

When I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was "a holiday". This "holiday" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying "This IS your home".

This set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice & easy to painful & hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there.

So my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked "Why not?". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life.

(FUN FACT: They knew about all this)

They were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said "only for a couple of days." If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there.

They didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude.

Was I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth?

Btw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ######

Response:
 NTA

There is guge differences between countries in different regions.

Since you were born and brought up in England, its not unsurprising that you would be unhappy their. I think ur parents are kinda TA for what they put you through. ######


Prompt:
My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much.

However, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?.

I‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused.

It caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this.

AITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ######

Response:
 NTA

There is clearly more as to why she doesn't want you to bring Maggie. If your entire family knows then you wouldn't be stealing the spotlight.

Also, you definitely do not owe her an apology or the money for the tickets. Number 1, you didn't do/say anything rude to your cousin so she should apologize to you. And number 2, if she didn't want to pay for the tickets then she shouldn't have. Unless you asked her to pay for your ticket there isn't really any reason to pay her back. ######


Prompt:
I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.

Bio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order.

Aita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######

Response:
 NTA

The man who raised you isn't either, your mom told him he was the father and had no reason or proof to doubt that. He shouldn't have slept with someone in a relationship, but that's an entire different issue.

Your mom denied you and your biological father years of a chance of a relationship. Probably because in her mind she wanted the man who raised you to be your father and convinced herself this was true.

Once you begin with a lie like that you can't stop. The man who raised you still is your father, you shouldn't treat him as anyless if was a good father to you.

But he should support you tracking down your biological father if you wish to ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been looking for a home in the place where I grew up for around three years now. We have found a number of goodies and have even put in a few offers, but nothing has stuck.

Until a few weeks ago, when we found our DREAM HOME (old farmhouse, 15 acres, perfect location, and places for us both to work from - he is a mechanic and I am a photographer). We instantly began dreaming about raising our family there and staying until we are in our late seventies or so. We are both just shy of thirty now.

The offer and contract process was a bit difficult, we had to jump through lots of hoops financially and had to prove to them - for some reason - that we could afford to service the mortgage we were taking out. We ticked every box and signed the contract last week - hooray! We got our current house up on the market and have spent roughly 5k on repairs here, inspections there, conveyancing, marketing etc. All is going well.

Until today. We got a call from their agent telling us that they have changed their mind about selling.

Without going into too many details, their circumstance has changed and they can afford to stay there.

Legally, they have no leg to stand on, we own the house and cooling off is over.

Morally, I’m not sure. They have owned the house for less than a year (I would feel differently if they had owned it for twenty years and it was a family home), and they have said they want their friends and grandchildren to enjoy it and make memories there. We want to raise our children there and create memories of our own.

Are we the assholes if we proceed with the sale, even though they have told us this is their dream home and we would be taking that away from them?

Ah. Thanks in advance. ######

Response:
 NTA

That's what contracts and cooling-off periods are for. ######


Prompt:
I've been living with my current roommate for about 5 years now, and she has a habit of leaving her shoes (sometimes several pairs) in the middle of the floor in the entryway, right in front of the door.

I've been tripping over these damn shoes for several years now, and about a year ago i was sick and tired of moving them by hand, so i started just kicking them out of the way instead. Several times i've told her to please put them to the side so they aren't in the way, but it's fallen on deaf ears every time.

One day we were out getting groceries together she saw me kicking her her shoes out of the way as we walked in with heavy bags in our hands, and she told me to stop kicking them. I responded with "No, why won't you just put them out of the way instead?".

A few days later, shoes still there, i got fed up. I put her shoes on top the closet, which is too high up for her to reach, just to prove a point. When she finally noticed she got furious and asked why i would do that, and if i did it just to prove a point. She called me an AH, we argued for a couple minutes, and it ended when she went out the door. It's never been brought up since.

Well, it actually worked. The shoes aren't in the way every single time anymore, but i've been wondering if i went about it the wrong way? Frankly, i felt like i was out of options.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Some people just need a little extra motivation to be considerate ######


Prompt:
I raised 3 kids pretty much on my own. When my oldest was 17, she got pregnant and  had a baby boy that she was no way ready to care for (her words). I adopted him and have been raising him on my own. I had talked to her about birth control and safe sex in the past, but this time I made sure to actually get her on birth control. She  moved out and over the years my other biological children did as well. Then when my daughter was 22 she got pregnant again. This time, she claimed she wanted to raise the child and tried, but eventually felt too overwhelmed and asked me to take him. I adopted this child and have been raising him. She still sees the boys a lot, they know she’s their bio mom, but that I’m raising them.

Since then my daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been in and out of treatment. Last year, she (then 25) got pregnant again. I told her that I could not raise another child. Financially, emotionally, etc., I’m drained. I said that she needed to decide whether she was ready or to give the baby up to someone else (she told me when it was too late to abort). She tried to convince me otherwise, to at least help her raise the baby and I said no. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption and I never met him nor do I have contact, because I knew I’d get attached.

My daughter still resents me for this. She has an open adoption with the child and is doing a bit better herself but says that she wishes I had helped her more. She has guilted me at every turn and made me seriously wonder if I did the wrong thing. ######

Response:
 NTA

She's a fully grown women and she needs to grow up and needs to take responsibility for her actions rather than have you bail her out all the time ######


Prompt:
Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no "real man" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids.

Her standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree.

Basically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids.

I told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ######

Response:
 NTA

She has some real issues if she doesnt see the double standard in her requirements for a partner. Good luck to her finding someone like that with the attitude she has (throwing a fit and calling you sexist for calling her double standard out) because she probably won't. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway daughter has Reddit

I have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.

My daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so  for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ######

Response:
 NTA

She got what she wanted and she wants more.  If she wanted a Switch, she should have told you so.

You're not a bad parent but your ex-wife is making it sound like you are.  Your ex-wife should buy your daughter a Switch if she wants one so badly. ######


Prompt:
Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.

About half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.

When he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.

I’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.

FWIW, he really is buying weed.  AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ######

Response:
 NTA

Relationships are built on trust and he’s eroding yours with his behavior. ######


Prompt: I'm a 15 year old and the a few days ago I got told I have a condition that will kill me in a year or 2 and there's nothing they can do to help me. I had told my girlfriend and my two best friends and was going to tell the rest of my close circle of friends after school at my house. However my parents informed the school and they informed the teachers and when I walked into my maths class my teacher said 'I heard about your terminal condition I'm sorry to hear about it, if you ever want to talk to my office is always open' and the whole class heard and by the end of the day everybody in my school knews and I didn't even get a chance to tell my other friends. After she said that I shouted at her because I wasn't ready for many people to know and then I stormed out of the classroom and am refusing to go to maths. I don't have to worry about my GCSE (very important national exams) as I already know the syllabus and when I did a practice paper in exam conditions I got 87% (good enough for the top grade), so I'll just need to continue practicing so that's not a problem. A lot of my friends are saying that I'm being unfair because she didn't mean to and that she's rly upset that I refuse to come to her class while others completely agree with me. The main problem is that my parents are saying I'm being petty and that everyone was going to find out when I died anyway so it shouldn't rly matter so AITA. ######

Response:
 NTA

Probably going to be unpopular saying the teacher is an asshole here BUT:

Sounds like the teacher meant well, but she should have chosen better timing. If this were a random adult she may be forgiven for making this slip-up, but in the UK teachers are regarded as 'in a position of trust'. They are trained on handling confidential information, which medical information is a part of.
And Imo this is what makes it inexcusable that the whole class was informed of confidential information. ######


Prompt:
**Not sure if I'll get a lot of hate but only serious replies please.**

My wife(29f) and I (30m) went to her friends house to let our kids play together (both around 2). I'll call them Jack and Jill. I had never met them before but my wife told me their kid was a terror the last few times she saw them.

Things were going pretty well. Jack and I were at the grill when I commented, 'Your boy is so well behaved...' and I said something about how other toddlers don't like to share and throw tantrums. We joked back and forth about kids wrecking stuff until the girls came up and asked what we were laughing at. I told Jill how their kid was well behave and she blew up on me.

Quick note, my wife is white and I'm asian. Jack and Jill are black. Jill pointed out it was racist to assume her black child would not be well behaved. Being jokey/tipsy I said, 'I didn't think the terrible twos typically care about race.' Well it didn't go over well with Jill and she started screaming that I'm a 'racist republican.' Jill was super cold and implied I should go. I suggest my wife and daughter stay and I'd pick them up later. I apoligized and ended up just playing some golf until they wanted to be picked up. Jack came out to apologize for his wife. I apologized for being insensitive and if I affended them. He said no he did not think so and I thiught that was that.

My wife later said she didn't think I said anything wrong. Jill put up a facebook post about it later without pointing me out personally.

AITA here?

Side note: I'm conservative and typically voted republican (didn't vote in 16 and won't in 20). My wife likes to joke about it with friends and family. So I assume thats how Jill knew I was republican. I avoid bringing it up or talking about it because I hate talking politics when I want to have fun/relax. ######

Response:
 NTA

Pretty sure the terrible twos really aren’t a race thing. Some kids are easy and some suck. The only one making it a race thing is your wife’s friend. ######


Prompt:
My (28f) husband (30m) and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. Shortly before we got married, we purchased our home.

We’re at a point now where we’d like to start trying for children. My husband’s father has a rare genetic disease that is similar to Parkinson’s. He’s wheelchair-bound and has little control of his movements.

My husband and his sibling both have a 50% of having inherited this disease from their father. It’s an awful disease and I hate watching my FIL struggle. My husband and his sibling were recently talking about going for testing to determine if they’ve inherited the disease. My husband is nervous because he doesn’t want to find out if he has it or not.

I’m scared of this disease being passed along to my children. Obviously I wouldn’t leave my husband, but I’d like for us to know and that way, if he does have it, we can explore our options.

The other day, he wanted to have a serious conversation about us beginning to try for children. I was open and honest and said that I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of having children just yet and I’d like for him to get tested for the disease along with his sibling.

He got very defensive and said that I’m being selfish. He accused me of not wanting to have a family with him, of being ashamed of his family (the disease is caused by generations of in-breeding, low population density of where is parents are from). I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, I just want to ensure that our future children will be healthy.

AITA for wanting him to get tested before we have children?

TL;DR my husband’s father has a rare genetic diseases that my husband has a 50% chance of having inherited. I don’t want us to start trying for children until my husband gets tested for the disease. ######

Response:
 NTA

passing along a late-onset disabling genetic disorder would be a crappy thing to do to a child ######


Prompt:
My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.

 I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.

He was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######

Response:
 NTA

Of course they think you're an AH, they're not even out of their teens. "I can't trust you and you clearly have no issue lying to my face so no, I won't be hosting your friends in our space/letting you have that much freedom" is pretty damn tame for getting a pretty serious permanent body mod. If you were trying to punish the 19 yr old, you'd be in the wrong because he is an adult. The 16 yr old is still your responsibility, though.

Meanwhile, did he give it to himself/get a friend to do it or did a shop do it? If a shop did it, you really need to report them. Regardless, make sure a pediatrician gets a look to make sure everything has healed up all right (it should've if it's been that long, but better safe than sorry and he could be lying about the timeline as well) and if it wasn't done by a professional try to find out what they used for ink. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as I don't want to use my main.

When lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad.

I thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long.

I'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######

Response:
 NTA

My husband and I kiss (just a small peck) and say I love you almost every time we pass each other and we’ve been married 14 years. She’d hate living with us lol ######


Prompt:
My parents are divorced and in the last 5 years he's had 5 girlfriends. Not all at the same time haha, one after the other.

He's definitely got a physical type, like they're all short, petite, white, have long dark colored hair, soft spoken, dress very feminine but modest, thirty-something, etc. Like freakily similar, if you got them all in a group people would probably think they're related.

I have confused them for each other, and I'm not doing it to be petty, I swear. It's always been an honest mistake.

It's been hard to not, when he dates so much, doesn't even take a break between relationships, introduces them all to me but never stays with anyone long enough for me to really connect with them, etc.

My mom has the bigger share of custody, so I don't actually spend a lot of time at my dad's anyway. Which makes it hard for me to get to know any of his dates.

I don't have any dislike towards the ladies he's dated, honestly I'm just frustrated with him because it seems like he's not really ready to have a relationship and that's why all his relationships fail after less than a year.

But a couple times, I've said stuff like "can we all go back to (city) as a vacation" and my dad will get mad at me like "Girlfriend has never been to (city)" ... Because I'd accidentally misremembered going with one of his exes.

Or when I was telling a story to some family friends about traveling, and I said "And we were with my dad's ex Jen" and my dad got upset and corrected me.

He's mostly been mad when I say something in front of the lady he's currently dating, confusing them with an ex. And I honestly feel bad when that happens, but it's always been an honest mistake, and I don't think they believe me.

AITA for this? ######

Response:
 NTA

My cousin's mom is on her 5th husband and her dad is on his 4th wife. She now calls all the husbands Bill and all the wives Jill. ######


Prompt: Well for starters, my stepdaughter is seven. I've been in her life since she was 3 and I love her like my own. Because of covid she has been spending a week at her father's and a week here when she normally spends just weekends at her father's. I look forward to her coming home. Well lately my wife has been yelling at my daughter for small things. And by yelling I mean actually yelling. Like yesterday my daughter had eaten some gummy bears and immediately after went to use the bathroom. My wife instantly yells at her for not picking up the wrapper. Yesterday as well she got yelling at for not picking up her toys immediately after she was done playing with them. This has been going on for awhile just Minor problems she gets yelled at for and I have brought it up saying she's just a kid and isn't being bad. I can see it on her face how upset and confused she is not knowing she's doing anything wrong and in my opinion she's not. Well yesterday was her first day home in a week and for her to get yelled at like that bothered me. So I said something to Cassandra and now she's pissed off at me saying I'm calling her a bad mother. I stated I am not but she doesn't need to be screamed at all the time. She still is upset and mad at me, but hasn't yelled at her since. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 Nta

Kids learn by repetition. You repeat things a milion times and show by example. She might think yelling the way it's done but in over all it just ends up in a way that a kid doesn't want to confide when a real problem ensues.

It's possible the kid shows some habbits her father has and your wife unconciously hates them because she is reminded of her ex. I doubt solving problems with yelling is something she wants her kid to pick up. Don't give up on this please. ######


Prompt: Recently my mother decided she wants to paint our house and she game up to me and asked me if I wanted to paint the back of our house and the walls in our back garden for money (she is hiring a professional to do the front). She said it shouldn’t take me more than about 2 or 3 days but upon closer inspection it could easily take somebody upwards of 5 days to do, I have a pretty big back garden. She said she would give me €50 for painting the back of the house, which would probably have taken me about 4 or 5 full days of painting nonstop. I said that quote was a bit unreasonable and that I’d rather not do it. She immediately went crazy, saying things like, you’re a disappointment and an embarrassment and I don’t want to look at you. AITA for not wanting to do this 5 day job that she offered me €50 for. To put it in context if I painted 8 hours a day for 4 days that would be about 32 hours giving me just about €1.50 per hour of work. ######

Response:
 NTA

Just paid $450 for some guys to paint 1 side of my house(took 6 quarts of paint, plus trim)

€50 probably wouldn't even cover the cost of the paint ######


Prompt:
I have a rat with a mammary tumor, and I decided that I need to get it removed. She is otherwise healthy but it's growing fast and getting in the way of her movement. Unfortunately even after shopping around the cost is going to end up being almost $600.

I pay for everything with these rats and I'm even ready to pay for this bill. However I was scared of telling mom the price when I came home today so I lied and said it was going to be about $250.

Even with that amount She was shocked and started lecturing me about how unnecissary this whole thing was.

*"It's just a rat. Why do you waste your money on something like that? Just get a new one!"*

I felt really awful because I know it seems unnecissary to go to all this trouble for something that will only live another maybe 1-2 years. I just hate seeing her in such an uncomfortable possition.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's your money you can do what you want with it. ######


Prompt:
So a bit of a back story I'm a 16 year old Male and was extremely close to my aunt.

So today as of writing this my family and I were informed of my aunts will. She was a business owner and very wealthy so obviously she had lots of assets like houses, cars and many other things.

Her two main countries for trading in was spain and England, now after reading the will she has entrusted me with all the assets in spain (Villa and two other properties) and her children were not happy to say the least... they've been threatening to take legal action and what not and I pretty much responded with go ahead.

They've now told everyone In my family that I'm a greedy asshole for not relinquishing the property to them.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It was her will and testament, not theirs. It’s rightfully yours. Heir by next of kin only takes precedence if no will was left. ######


Prompt:
This isn't just me, it includes my twin brother. My brother and I (17m) were an accidental pregnancy. For context, our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who goes to our high school. Our nearest sibling in age is 28.

My parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kid of cold our whole childhood.

My brother and I will graduate high school in about a week, and will be 18 in two weeks. My parents have told us that as soon has we turn 18, we will have to pay rent. Neither of us have jobs, and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now.

I confided in my sister that I'm really stressed about this, and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in University, completely free of charge. I'm really grateful for this, and we're planning on accepting her offer.

I told my parents about this, and they freaked out. I guess my mom was planning to move to part time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent. They said that they have provided for us our whole lives, and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults.

I mean, it's true. They have given us everything we needed for 18 years, and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent, but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It is literally their job as parents to provide for you for the first 18 years.  You owe them nothing for that ######


Prompt:
I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months.

A was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.

2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind.

My original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you were discriminating against her, you wouldn't have cooked for her at all. IMO you were incredibly sweet by researching and cooking a separate meal for her so she would be able to eat with everyone. 100% NTA ######


Prompt:
Approx 4 years ago I split with my ex. We were engaged and he had a close friend of mine design the ring. My friend knows me well and spent months searching for the perfect stone. It was my dream ring.. too bad it wasn’t my dream guy.

When we split he insisted I keep the ring, and I’ve pretty much had it hidden away since then not knowing what I wanted to do with it. It’s quite valuable so I’ve considered selling it, but I do think it is beautiful (especially the stone) and also carries a lot of life lessons with it - our relationship essentially ended because I decided that I was worthy of love and deserved better, so I feel that it somewhat represents my strength and self love more than it represents him or the relationship.

I feel now that I would like to have the stone made into a pendant/necklace and sell the setting. I’m a bit on the fence and don’t want to upset my current SO by wearing part of my engagement ring from my ex. WIBTA if I did this? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you wanted to wear it on your left ring finger that would be one thing, but if you re-set it it’s no longer an engagement ring. There’s no point in owning gemstones you can’t wear.

For the record, nearly every divorced woman I know owns a pendant made out of their old ring. Wedding and engagement rings are expensive and have terrible re-sale value. ######


Prompt:
Okay, this recently happened. My boyfriend brought some Stoney Patch he got from a dealer in our small village. I'm not extremely educated when it comes to weed and other kind of things. I'm always that kind of person who likes to research new things so I googled it and watches some videos, some people say that these ones that he got are fake etc etc. I thought okay, I'm not surprised because dealers can sell you fake stuff especially when you're in a small village in England.

My boyfriend ate one, went to the bathroom and came back and sat with me in the room. This is where I might have fucked up... I told him in a very nice voice "don't get your hopes up...they might be fake" and then he got a bit irritated and angry and  said:

"Oh my God shut the fuck up, do you have to be such a buzz kill? Let me fucking enjoy it". I didn't mean to be a buzz kill, I just wanted to share what I have read online about it. It was not my intention. I got a bit sad because I always feel like I can't say things without him getting angry. Anyways. I told him to not get angry because I just said one small thing but then he also said I ruin everything and I have ruined this. He said he doesn't care if they're fake or not he wants to enjoy them.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you can’t tell him anything without him getting angry I have some bad news for ya ######


Prompt:
Just some background, I belong to a low-income family so it took me a lot of hard work to earn a laptop. It’s the only thing that I use for school as all my notes are in there. Especially now that we have a crisis, it’s gonna be hard to buy a new one if I ever break or lose my laptop.

Recently, my sister accidentally broke her chromebook that she’s been using for school. We have no way to have it fixed because of the situation. She’s been known to accidentally break things (her charger, bike, etc) because of her carelessness. The only other device that she has is her iPad but she complains that it’s too small to do her homework. So, my dad asked if my sis could borrow my laptop. I said no because i’m scared she might break it, but my dad got mad because he couldn’t afford to buy her a new chromebook yet. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If she has a history of breaking things I wouldn't lend her anything either especially because she had your dad ask you instead of asking herself. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as daughter loves browising reddit

I have two kids a daughter and my son. They both love Nintendo. My son has a ps4 and a switch lite my daughter has a home console switch and pc. My daughter is 16 and my son is 14. Today my daughter went into my son room and grabbed his switch lite and took it near the stairs. She tried stealing my sons Pokemon collection in sword and shield as their ton of shines.

My daughter ended up dropping my sons switch lite My son saved up for his switch lite and it fell and broke. I heard the noise and found my switch lite and found my daughter their she was trying to escape. After that I then went into my daughter room and told her since she destroyed my sons switch  lite she is going to have to give up her home switch since she destroyed it . My daughter started screaming at me saying I am a bad parent and I hate her. ######

Response:
 NTA

I’m sorry this is really hard to read.

The daughter broke something that the bro saved up for. That’s messed up yo. ######


Prompt:
We don’t usually have arguments, but when we do, it gets intense. I don’t ever shout at her, my parents always did that shit to me and I would never do it. The thing is, she always cries and says I’m being too harsh. I honestly don’t think I am.

I feel like crying in a fight is an unhealthy way to make your point. You can’t just cry for everything just to get your way. When I told her this, she burst into tears and began saying that I don’t care about her emotions.

So, AITA?

Edit: My reasoning is that whenever she cries, I feel shitty, like I did it to her. I don’t know what to do then, I can’t keep on making my argument. Our most recent argument was that she made a $500 purchase without consulting me. It was just for another purse. ######

Response:
 NTA

I'm a cryer. I can't get through an argument without tears, I hate it, and I hate when people judge me for it or think I'm being manipulative just because I'm crying. I literally can't help it, it's a physical reaction to stress. BUT, my husband knows this about me, and we made up from the beginning that I will not let tears get in the way of communication. Sometimes our discussions about intense topics take a lot longer. Sometimes I have to wait a long time after he says something before I can respond, so that I can get myself under control. So he calmly and patiently waits until I'm ready, and then we keep talking it out until we've resolved the issue. I don't just start crying and end the conversation there! As well, I know in the beginning it made him feel bad when I cried, like he felt guilty that he caused me to cry, or worried that he was hurting my feelings, so I frequently reassured him that it was just my reaction to stressful conversations and I would hate for him to feel bad about it, and these days it's just a given.

If she's using her tears to avoid the conversation, I say that's all on her and she's totally in the wrong. ######


Prompt:
Earlier this week, I had a really strange doctor's appointment. I want to say up front that my doctor didn't harass me or make me feel uncomfortable during the appointment, but it was an unusually long appointment (almost an hour) where the doctor asked me a ton of questions about myself that didn't relate directly to my health. I didn't really think much of it at the time, I just thought he was making small talk.

I went to this doctor as a referral from a close friend of mine who had the same experience. Really long appointment, tons of questions, overall a very friendly guy. My friend interpreted this as a doctor who actually cares about patients since most doctors will barely spend 15 minutes with you.

The thing is, the day after this appointment I got a text from my doctor saying that he thought I was a beautiful and confident woman and he would love to go out with me sometime. I never gave him my number, he must have got it from the forms I filled out before the appointment.

I haven't replied to him but this feels really sketchy to me. I have no idea if this is legal or not but it definitely feels unprofessional. I have a feeling he texted me and not my friend because he asked my relationship status in a casual way. It didn't really register at the time but now it feels really manipulative. He did the same thing to my friend, and she's not single.

I don't want to ruin this guy's career, but I do think it should be known that he's invading his patient's privacy like this for personal reasons.

WIBTA if I skipped confronting him directly and went straight to reporting him? ######

Response:
 NTA

I'd report him right away.

He's abusing his position to gain access to confidential information about his clients.

Most likely, he's done this before or will do it again. ######


Prompt:
So my bf 29 and I 25 have been together for about 5 years now. During these 5 years we had a brief breakup due to some immaturity on both ends towards the start of the relationship and infidelity on his end, however this was all worked on and we’re in a healthy relationship now.

Recently his sister had moved into the area from interstate and had been spending a lot of time in our house and specifically with my partner’s best friend who was at the time engaged. It came to our attention that she was sleeping with this friend of my BF’s despite him being engaged. My bf said it’s none of our business and I should ignore it but they were being so intimate so publicly, even inviting us out on ‘dates’ with the two of them where they were ridiculous with the PDA. I’m all for people being happy but what about the girl who’s being cheated on behind her back? I eventually privately messaged the girl and told her about the whole thing, which has angered everyone, especially my bf for interfering to the point where he almost asked me to take my thing and leave. Idk why I did it, maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before and it’s a touchy subject for me? Maybe I just couldn’t take the burden of knowing about this scandal? Am I an asshole for spilling the beans?

This is a pretty messy story and it’s hard to condense but I hope I can get an honest opinion from a neutral 3rd party. ######

Response:
 NTA

I wish more people where like you and spoke up about family cheating on theyre SO.

You did the right thing and your bf is stupid for not wanting you to say something.

Stay honest ######


Prompt:
My son and only child is 13. He woke me and my wife up crying and shaking the other night, he’s never ever done the before, so I was concerned. My wife, on the other hand was mad, she told him to go back to sleep in a snappy tone.

I got up and lead to the kitchen, I got us a glass of water and we talked about it for a while. It was pretty bad too, i don’t think I should say it here, because it was a private talk. All I’ll say is I get why it made him cry.

I tucked him back in and ran my fingers through his hair till he fell asleep. When I got back to our bedroom, my wife asked where I was. When I told her, she asked what the dream was about, I told her that she would know if she cared earlier. This pissed her off. AITA?

Edit: I apologized to her, but she won’t apologize to our son. ######

Response:
 NTA

I understand being annoyed at being woken up. But your child came to you in tears. It’s a hard choice to wake up your parents because you need them.

I think your response was appropriate. She could have realized she reacted poorly and joined you both to apologize and talk about it, yet chose to remain in bed. She didn’t care enough in the moment or after the fact when she knew you were with him. ######


Prompt:
My (34f) husband (33m) has terrible allergies. This time of year his nose is always running. This is not his fault. However, what he uses to blow his nose blows -my- mind. Bathroom and hand towels (his and mine), kitchen towels, shirts, my sweaters, socks (both clean and used)- anything. And on top of this, he leaves whatever he’s been using laying around because he might need it again later.
After a few nasty surprises and a few instances of having nothing to dry my hands with in the kitchen, I bought him a big pack of handkerchiefs from Amazon, and a big pack of new dish towels. I asked him if he could please just use the new handkerchiefs and the -old- dish towels and spare the other household fabrics, and put the designated nose-blowers in their own spot.
He snapped “You know you can wash all of this stuff right??” and implied I’m being judgy and making him feel bad just because he has allergies. This feels crazy to me but.... AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

I see so many of these posts where the married man has no awareness or consideration of simple hygiene tasks. From missing the toilet bowl to this, blowing his nose in clean clothes and not washing them?  Yikes. ######


Prompt:
My wife is a professional level chef, or I guess was. Anyway, I usually cook on weekends and Fridays, and she cooks during the rest of the week.

The thing is, when she sees me cooking, she always tries to help me. Like, I don’t add enough salt, then she adds more salt. It’s super annoying, and I’ve told her to stop that or else I wouldn’t cook about a hundred times. I decided to stop last Sunday. Now, she’s getting mad at me. She says that I’m throwing a tantrum.

I’m not. I’m just keeping up my words for once. If she changes, then I’ll cook.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

I remember hearing a story that a famous tv chef’s wife started a spaghetti sauce and he came in and tasted it. “That’s good, but you should add this and this will make it better...” She walked out of the kitchen to let him finish the sauce and refused to cook for one year. Next year rolled around and she started her spaghetti sauce again. He went in and tasted it. “How is it, dear?” “It’s the best sauce I’ve ever tasted. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Now they share cooking. Lesson learned. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) was talking with my sister (21F) about relationships, and she asked if I wanted to have kids one day. I said no, and gave a couple reasons as to why. Mostly because I don't want to put my body through the turmoil of being pregnant, and I also just don't really want to be a mom. I said I'd consider fostering or maybe adopting, but it's unlikely. I also said I don't want kids because I want to be someone's favourite person, and a child would end up being my partner's favourite.

My sister said that's a shitty reason to not want kids, and that I'm an asshole for even saying that. She said I'm selfish and manipulative, and should never get married if that's the mindset I have.

Growing up, I was always my parents' least favourite child, my siblings' least favourite sibling, and my friends' least favourite of the group. This is where I think my reasoning behind all of this stems from; feeling inadequate and unwanted by the people around me. My parents also got married, had 3 kids, and then ended up in a loveless marriage. I don't want that to be my future; my partner falling out of love with me and I have to live knowing I'm not special to anyone.

I understand I'm not obligated to have kids if I don't want them, but now I feel like she might be right. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

I hate that the default in society is “I want kids”, and you have to justify why you DON’T want them.

The default should be “I don’t want kids”, and people should justify why they DO want them.

We would have less crappy parents that way. ######


Prompt: My stepson is only 19 and has crashed two cars while drunk, has been fired from about 7 jobs in the last two years because he “was too tired” to go to work and leaves his room looking like an episode of hoarders. I can barely walk through his room to do laundry because it’s so messy. He comes and goes as he pleases and walks in drunk almost every night waking me up when I have to be at work the next morning. Tonight I woke up to him screaming “fuck fuck fuck” in the backyard and the smell of burning. He smashed his phone and we think the burning smell may be coming from that but can’t tell for sure. The whole house smells like burning chemicals now and I have two young children of my own who are now having to breathe it in and hear their stepbrother screaming and slurring like a lunatic. I told my husband either he kicks him out and let’s him hit rock bottom somewhere or I will move out with the kids. I don’t deserve to live this way and neither do they. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

How hasn’t this kid been in jail or rehab yet, especially at 19? ######


Prompt:
Hey guys! So this is an issue that's been weighing on me for some time now. A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were on a Zoom call with her parents. I've never felt 100% comfortable with her parents, partially because her mom is known to make derogatory comments about my height. She often refers to the pair of us as "the long and the short of it". For context, my girlfriend is 5' 9'' and I am three inches shorter.

The Zoom call was going well until my girlfriend's mom began talking about her culinary experimentation with souffles. She was lamenting about how quickly souffles deflate, and my girlfriend hurried in to say that I must be a souffle because I was tall-ish in my childhood but stopped growing. I was enraged at what she said, not just because of how cruel it was, but also because she must have known how her mother would react. Both her parents started laughing and her father even went on to compare me to a lemon souffle, which I assume was a racial joke. I then told my girlfriend that if I was a souffle, she must be a double stuffed Oreo because she had gained weight during the stay-at-home-order. Her dad laughed at that, but her mom was very displeased and ended the Zoom call. Afterwards, my girlfriend told me that she was very disappointed in me, although I felt that I had to salvage my dignity in front of her parents. Things have been pretty awkward between us ever since then, so I'm wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Honestly, she shouldn't be dishing it if she can't take it, especially about a physical feature that can't be changed.

Your height is normal, sorry about your girlfriend. ######


Prompt:
This happened last year, before this craziness, but my ex is still angry about it.

My son is in high school. His school has a heavily discounted drivers ed program that they run twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. My son's father and I agreed that he would take that program because it was designed around school hours and much less expensive. My son qualified to take the program in the spring, and could get his license at the beginning of June. If he didn't take it in the spring, he couldn't get his license until January.

My son lives with me most of the time and goes to his dad's every other weekend. While he was at his dad's, he was picking on his half sister and his dad decided to punish him by telling him he couldn't take drivers ed until the fall. He did not consult me on this.

I was very upset when he told me this and asked him to change the punishment. He refused because he felt he would undermine his own authority. I pointed out that this punishment made my life harder, because that was 6 more months that I would have to drive him to school, extracurriculars, friends' houses etc. He still refused to change the punishment, so I told him that I was going to pay for drivers ed on my own. I was very frustrated that he wouldn't work with me, especially because I have made sure that my punishments in the past haven't affected his relationships with his father. For example, I don't take away his cell phone because he texts with his dad during the week.

When my son came back to my house, I told him that he could still take driver's ed but he would still not be able to have friends over for a week as his new punishment. He has since been in contact with his father much less and his father blames me for undermining him and letting him take drivers ed anyway. Am I the asshole for undermining my ex? ######

Response:
 NTA

His punishment didn't require any effort on his part.

He should have taken his phone for x days or grounded him.

Your ex has to learn that his "authority" or more aptly his parenting decisions has to be done in lockstep with his kid's mother.
Its his fault for choosing this as his punishment. ######


Prompt:
So my partner still brings this up on occasion and everyone seems to think it’s super crazy / mean of me, and I’m *still* not very close with the couple this involves, but I literally don’t think it’s that bad?

So three years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a road trip. We visited two of his friends along the way. They’re a couple and I’d met them twice before, but we weren’t close. The guy in the couple was my boyfriend’s college buddy.

While there, my bf broke my suitcase when he dropped it down too hard. I asked if he’d repay me for it, and college buddy jumped in and said “no, what? You’d really ask that....? that’s really rude. He shouldn’t pay you anything, it was an accident.”

I’m a frustrated crier so I got a little teary eyed and went upstairs. My boyfriend didn’t agree with college buddy, he said since he’d broken it he’d just buy me a new one, so it worked out fine— but the next day when I came downstairs the three of them were having breakfast.

The girl goes “hey, feeling better?” I said yeah, I feel fine. She goes “oh good, the crying was a little melodramatic, we’re all glad that’s over!” And they all laughed. I flatly said “Well, that was an inappropriate thing to say.”

It got a little awkward for a few minutes but it blew over. Later as we were leaving she came up to me semi-privately and said “hey I’m sorry, I just tend to be very honest with my good friends” and I said in genuine surprise, “okay? But we aren’t friends. I’ve met you three times.” She looked absolutely shell-shocked and said “wow, that was pretty rude. All when I was trying to apologize, too.” I said “I’m not trying to be mean. You and I are not friends.”

My boyfriend thought it was hilarious in a shocking way that I’d “actually say that to her”. He maintains its the most blatantly rude thing he’s ever seen me do. Apparently it’s a “southern thing” to just call every person you meet a friend, and by saying she wasn’t my friend i basically declared her my mortal enemy.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Her: I’m super honest with friends

You: *is super honest*

Her: *surprised Pikachu face*

This is hilarious, she basically asked for it. She was rude and called it honesty, then when you were like okay she likes blunt honesty, she called you rude. And she doesn’t even see how hypocritical that is. It’s great. ######


Prompt:
I (24f) allow my cousin(26m)and his 2 kids to live with me and my girlfriend. I have extreme asthma and other breathing difficulties. My gf suffers from extreme migraines. I only let my cousin stay because I love my neices. He is an avid smoker and never has payed me for him living here. I let him stay in my spare bedroom that used to be the gaming room. My nieces sleep there too. I've caught him smoking in there several times and asked him to stop.
A few weeks  ago when I came home I found him in the living room smoking. I yelled at him and said if I caught him smoking again I would kick him out. Well I get a call from my gf at work which is weird but I answered it and she told me she can't find her gold necklace. I first think its just lost somewhere and brush it off. Well I come home just as my gf is leaving to go to the doctors and I walk into my cousins room when she leaves and find a still lit cigarette in the ash tray and I then look all around the room for the box and find the necklace in his empty pants pocket. So i put out the cigarette take a puff of my inhaler and then set them on the table. I proceeded to wait for my cousin. To get back from taking my nieces to the park. He comes back and i tell the girls to go in the other room and then i tell him that he has 3 days to leave. And he then throws a tantrum, calls me names and accuses me of looking through his stuff and then I remind him that he stole from my gf and that he has put my health at risk just so he can smoke.
My aunt called me a heartless bitch and hasnt spoken to me since. My gf thinks I was to hard on him. I called the mom of my nieces so she could come and get them. So reddit did I make a mistake by kicking them out? ######

Response:
 NTA

He stole your stuff and refused to stop smoking in your home, where you let him stay, for free. You are in no way the asshole.
(Except maybe for the formatting. My eyes man, they’re in pain.) ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...

We work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.

I get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.

This isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.

So, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######

Response:
 NTA

He stole from you.

And he tried to gloss over/hide the fact that he stole from you.

Then he said that you're the problem for being angry that he stole from you.

Don't be with someone who steals from you. ######


Prompt:
Weeks ago my friend Paul, who is a first time dog owner, told me that his puppy seemed a bit sad and didn’t want to play. I told him to go to the vet and have it checked because it could be something. He said he would do it that weekend. The next Monday I asked him how his dog is doing and what the vet’s diagnosis is. He said he didn’t get take the dog to the vet because he and his family had a cook out. I told him to make time because it’s one of his responsibilities as a pet owner, and he said he would.

The next week he told me that his dog threw up and asked what he should do to make it feel better. I said that it’s not uncommon for dogs to throw up, but he should really go to the vet because the last time my dog was lethargic, it turned out that he had ehrlichia which can be fatal if untreated, and vomiting is also a symptom of that disease. He said he would take his dog to the vet that weekend, but when Sunday came around and I asked him about his dog, he hadn’t taken it to the vet.

Today he called me sounding very anxious and said that his dog didn’t want to eat so he finally took him to the vet the tests showed that his dog does have ehrlichia. He said he remembers me saying that it’s fatal, and he said he's really worried and he doesn’t know if he can take it if his dog dies.

I told him and said that it’s rich for him to say that now, considering that his dog has been showing symptoms for weeks and I’ve been telling him to take it to the vet for weeks but he kept on putting it off. He needed only one hour in the past three weeks to go to the vet but he waited until things got worse. So now if anything happens to his dog, I think he can definitely ‘take it’ since he didn’t seemed concerned about it even though it hadn’t been itself for weeks.

He got angry at me and said that he was already feeling low and he just wanted my support as a friend and as someone who has been in this situation before but all I’m doing is blaming him.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

He had ample opportunity to take care of his pet, and he chose not to do anything about it. And now he wants your support? Weren’t you supporting him for the last 3 weeks telling him to take his dog to the vet?

I hope the pup makes it, but if it doesn’t he shouldn’t get another dog. ######


Prompt:
Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move

Me [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it.

This for context: "Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die."

I told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.

He started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.

Later when he walked by me he said "Hi, Slut" really angrily.
Now I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.

I'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######

Response:
 NTA

Girlfriend: Shares interesting fact about bees.
Boyfriend: “Quit hating on men, slut.”

See how this doesn’t add up? ######


Prompt:
I’m (26F) and almost 7 months pregnant (2 days away), I thankfully still have my job. Sadly my fiancé (32M) was laid off, due to his job not being essential.

 I have even taken extra days to be able to support us and still have money when baby comes. Today is day 19 of me working without a day off (my boss always checks in with me to make sure I’m okay and still healthy to work, they are the best).

 Fiancé hasn’t been able to get a temporary job, therefore I believe at the very least his job, for the time being, is to keep our place in order and clean. He says it’s both our job. If we weren’t in our current situation he would definitely be right, but I’m not only working all week (and seeing how the “stay at home” order keeps getting extended I might not have a “break” until baby comes)but I’m also almost in my third trimester of pregnancy.

 I’ve pretty much have gone through every possible pregnancy symptom, and there is not one day of complete peace, once one symptom finally goes away another pops up to replace it. I believe he is being selfish, that he truly doesn’t understand what I’m going through.

 Why is so difficult to keep our place clean, even when it comes to cooking, I HAVE to help him. I get off work and I still can’t relax. Meanwhile when I’m at work I’m sure he is online playing video games with his friends. It’s so infuriating.

 It’s come to me constantly snapping at him because he is in his care free world. According to him I’m an asshole, just because I’m working everyday and pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t help him clean. ######

Response:
 NTA

Even if he was working, you are seven months pregnant.

Speaking as the husband of a pregnant woman, it’s our job to make your life as easy as we can and he should be doing the bulk of the housework because you are literally growing a human being inside you.

Given that he isn’t working, he should be doing every aspect of the housework.

If nothing else, he should want to out of boredom.

But also, get the house in good shape and you can keep it that way with literally 15 minutes of cleaning a day ######


Prompt: Basically, I accidentally knocked my friend’s appliance off the kitchen counter, shattering it. I told him I would order a new one, no problem. But now he’s saying he’d rather have the cash. Only problem is he’s insisting on $40 more than the price I’d pay on amazon for the exact same make and model. WIBTA if I said it’s either I order it or I give the amazon price in cash, not anything more? ######

Response:
 NTA

Either replacement cost or replacement item, not original cost ######


Prompt:
So last night my gf showed me a photo of a hairstyle she was thinking of changing too, she asked if i liked it and I said i wasnt a fan but she can do what she wants as its her hair.
So today shes in the bathroom for 3 hrs then comes out and then i say. I then say im still not a fan of it but it looks fine. She then cries for the next hour, tells me i should leave then tells her mum who tells her she should get a new bf and im over here like wtf why ask for my opinion if u dont want it. What do u guys think? ######

Response:
 NTA

Did she get quarantine bangs??? Lol ######


Prompt:
Me (25) and happily engaged to a wonderful women.
I came out to my family last year and since then I was proposed to, I said yes horah.
However my family are, to say the least deeply Conservative. Growing up they were excessively anti-LGBTQ+ which made coming out really hard, I made them a promise that I wouldn't post on social media about it until they were ready and to give them a heads up.
It's been almost a year and they stopped speaking to me other than to send me homophobic news articles.

Today over pride month I wanted to tell my friends and cousins. To be honest and show my love, so I spoke to my cousins who expressed support like no other. And I wrote my post on Facebook to the wider audience.
Then the phone calls from my immediate family came in, demanding I delete the post as I had promised them I'd ask first. My older sister told me she owed me nothing anymore and that my parents were going to kill themselves over it unless I deleted it immediately.
These people haven't spoken to me about how I feel, and about me coming out. They've refused to see me when I offer to fly home, saying I'm welcome in their house but not as a gay woman.

I have refused to delete the post and everyone else is giving me the love and support I've needed this last year. My family have told me I've betrayed them.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

Clearly they were never going to “give you permission” and honestly, why are you even interested in maintaining a relationship with them? ######


Prompt:
So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.

The first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.

If this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days.

I live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t.

So, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######

Response:
 NTA

Calling animal control to check on the dogs isn't the worst thing to do, especially since you're worried about the animal.

That being said, don't be too surprised if nothing is done about it. As long as the owner can prove that they're providing the bare minimum (in terms of care), animal control's hands are tied.

A (kinda) similar situation happened to us. Our neighbors kept their 2 dogs chained up in their backyard all day, every day regardless of temp (hot as balls or cold as tits). We called animal control and they verified that the dog had a dog house outside and food. That's it. I felt so sorry for those dogs, you could see the sadness in their eyes, but we couldn't do anything (legally) about it. ######


Prompt:
its been going on for a while, but durring the lock down her complaining about not being able to find a 'man up to her standards' has gotten the better of me(26f).

Her wants:
roughly her age
Never married
No kids
high paying job
no exes drama
fit/stays in shape
loyal
doesnt mind spoiler her and their kids.

Now thats not an unseasonable expectation on its face but she(36f)...

1 marriage ended in divorce
3 kids by 3 different guys, yes one is the ex husbands(middle kid)
VERY low paying job, needs welfare and mom's help to get by since her baby daddys are dead beats
lotta baby daddy  drama
60 pounds over weight
far as i know shes never been a cheater though

Shes still been trying online dating during the lock down, but she says shes keeping it to just talking with hopes of meeting after the rona. Which i do think is the responsible way to do it and Im very glad shes handling her search that way.   But she keeps complaining, usually via text, every day how theres no good guys that meet her standards.  most the high earners have a kid or ex wife, or dont have time to work out due to his job.

So I told her, in private of course, that"you needs to be realistic. 99% of high earning mid 30s men dont want someone with multiple kids by multiple men, that has no income and is overweight. the '1%' of men look for the '1%' of women.  If she wants a new husband she'll likely have to settle for medium income and probably at least an ex if not a kid". She called me a bitch for trying to tear down her dream. now mom is upset with me for being too 'mean'.

was i an asshole and went too far? ######

Response:
 NTA

But isn’t it a bit hypocritical of her to have those expectations when her own “qualifications” are 180 opposite? She can judge men using these criteria but others can’t judge her with the same criteria? I don’t see logic. ######


Prompt:
My whole family are really annoyed with me and I think it's total bullshit.

About 10 weeks ago I got an email to reapply for my student grant next year, so i went online, filled out the application form and they emailed me saying that everything should be fine and that the process would be automatic, that all thet had to do was call the college to confirm that I was progressing.

Today I was driving my dad across the city so he could drop his stereo off outside a repair shop to get it repaired. He asked me how I was getting on with my student grant application and I told him I had submitted it 10 weeks ago. He then asked me about the letter and the forms I had to fill out.

I asked him what he was talking about and it turns out that I had gotten a letter from the grant office 2 weeks ago asking for vital additional information. My parents had opened the letter and never told me about it, since half of the details needed to come from them, they just never told me/forgot to tell me about the letter. The grant Office specified that the documents need to be returned to them within 21 days and include my father's tax return figures which he says he will have done early next week because they are going to visit my sister across the country for the weekend.

That means it is possible that my letter back to the grant office could be late and I could potentially lose my grant, without which I will not be able to continue my studies.

I got really angry that 1) they opened my mail without telling me. 2) they won't have the documents I need until it might be too late and 3) don't seem to care that I might not get to finish my final year of university. I yelled at them about it and called them selfish and now my family are all telling me how wrong and mean I am.

AITA for getting mad at them? I know it's not great to shout at people but I feel my anger was warranted in this case.

I ######

Response:
 NTA

but call the grant office RIGHT NOW to ask if you can submit a PDF signed copy and send out your physical copy once it’s completed. The mail systems have slowed down a lot anyway, and this system has been preferred for my work grants. NORMALLY with grant applications, the cut off date is the date it was posted, not received (confirm this with grant officers).

I had the same thing happen except my parents threw out my entrance packet for my university. Just call, explain, and tell your parents to 1) not open your mail, and 2) leave it in a pre determined spot when it comes in.

Best of luck! ######