Prompt:
I (45F) left my husband (40m) a few days ago, took my kids and went to a hotel. I was hoping to work things out but needed some time to think. We had a big fight but what it comes down to is that he doesn’t feel like I am a good mother since I got cancer. I don’t do enough around the house after being sick and having surgery and chemo. I will admit it has been hard and it’s been a long road to recovery. I started back to work 8 months ago but I still take care of my children when they aren’t at school. He has done the bulk of the housework and I appreciate everything he’s done but I’m just so tired of him telling me that I’m not a good mom, and “not even a parent”. I just had to get out of there. I just can’t accept how cruel his is to me anymore. So I gathered the kids things and left.
One of the things I took was my husbands iPad so that my son can do his schoolwork. I didn’t realize I could also see his messages until a notification came up while we were doing school. He was talking to my cousin (29m) who has lived with us for almost a decade. He was saying that he wished I had died from
cancer. He said fact that I lived is the worst thing to ever happen to him. My cousin just said, “yea, I hear ya bro” and things like that. They had a long conversation and the opinion that I should have died was stated four times. Not once did my cousin, who I helped raise, defend me.
I have not returned home because of what I saw. My husband wants to work things out, but even if I do, I don’t want my cousin in my home anymore. I am so hurt that my so called family would not defend me and would just agree that I should have died. My husband has rage issues that he needs to address and I won’t be going anywhere near him until he does, but aita to say I never want to see my cousin again either? ######

Response: Nta but you're completely ignoring YOUR HUSBAND SAID IT TOO... you're holding your cousin to s higher moral standard then your own husband...they both gotta go, save the messages for future court proceedings ######


Prompt:
This will be a short one because there isn’t really much story to it

I currently live with my four siblings (2 M and 2 F) and my bio parents. Now, I really like to make a nice coconut soup that I sip on in my free time, which tastes really delicious. I make a new pot about every 2-3 days because that’s how long it takes for me to finish it, and I put the leftovers in a mason jar and throw it in the refrigerator when I’m not eating. However, for the past few weeks I’ve been noticing that sometimes in the morning, the contents of the jar completely disappears which forces me to make a new one. Someone’s definitely been eating my soup. I confronted my family but they all denied it. I tell them that it takes a long time to make the soup and it’s not cool, but they still deny it. I’d be happy to give them some if they asked, but no one’s coming forward. I remember reading a thread once on Reddit about someone catching who was stealing their lunch by putting habeneros in it so I think it would be funny to do the same. I was a bit of a spice enthusiast a few years ago and during that period I bought myself a few ghost peppers, and am contemplating putting those in my soup to catch whoever’s stealing it. I feel like this might be a little overboard. WIBTA?

Tl;dr WIBTA for putting ghost peppers in my soup to catch whoever is stealing it? ######

Response: NTA but you'll need to do an update!! ######


Prompt:
Restaurants opened up here recently for dine-in.  My husband has 2 autoimmune diseases and is a disabled veteran.  My mother is 69 and Diabetic and lives with us.  I am diabetic and having surgery in 10 days.

My daughter (26) mentioned she was going to eat with friends tonight.  I asked if she was going to a restaurant and she said yes.  Given the above, and the current health crisis, I told her to please not go to a restaurant.  She slammed away from the table, slammed her chair into the table and stormed out.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but you should work on a long term plan for how this is going to work. You can't tell another adult what to do, even if she is doing something risky. I feel like she will just do it anyway. She might need to stay with friends or somewhere else. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 21 year old student living at home. My parents have never really had a good relationship, but it all came to a head when my youngest brother was born. My dad started having an affair with a family friend who eventually got pregnant and now I have a half brother. His mom as well as her family completely abandoned him and now he’s being raised by my parents.

The last child that my parents had together was me when they were already in their late 50’s and they’re not doing so hot now in their 70’s. I decided to stay home and help take care of my little brother because I felt at the time that it was the right thing to do. During a conversation one night, my mom complimented me on my willingness to step up and help her with such a weird situation and hoped I’d continue to be there for my brother after they’re gone. Their health isn’t great because they smoke and drink pretty heavily and they aren’t able to interact with him like they were with me so they rely on me quite a bit to change, feed, clothe, and play with him.

With what’s going on in the world, I’ve been able to take a bit more of a break and focus my energy on my brother but when I go back to school full-time I won’t be able to and honestly I don’t really want to. I love my brother regardless of the circumstances, but I genuinely have no desire to put my life on hold to raise him if it comes to that. I’m starting to regret my decision because I feel like a parent when I never asked to be one. ######

Response: NTA but you should make that clear now before something happens to them. They need to make other arrangements. ######


Prompt:
Me and my mom have an okay relationship. My adopted sister 15 is a horrible person and is just terrible to be around. I tried to consider her family at one point tried to involve her in activities with my friends I am a 16 year old boy. I tried to do things that a brother normally would or what I thought would be a brother and sister relationship.

My half sister today took my game console without my permission and snapped it into two. This handheld console is a game console I got from my grandma as a birthday gift. I screamed loudly and yelled at her to go away. She called me a sexist whore for not sharing the console. My mom came in and sided with my sister.

Told me to apologize for being sexist and mean to my adopted sister for not sharing and not taking her places like a brother. I yelled at my mom telling my sister she is not considered part of my family and that she is just a piece of shit lying on the ground.

My mom told me I am grounded for being mean. I then called my dad to pick me up.(They are divorced). I went to dads house. My mom harasser me by calling a lot and I refused to pick her up and blocked her on the phone. I might have been an asshole for saying mean things to my sister and yelling at my mom. ######

Response: NTA but you should definitely see if you can live at your dads permanently to get away from that toxicity ######


Prompt:
So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no.

Fast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.

And that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying "I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather." I told her "he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision.

Reddit AMTA? ######

Response: NTA but you should be angry at your mom for her decisions not just the other guy. ######


Prompt:
About ten years back, I(32f) inherited  my grandpa’s farm. About 8 years ago my mom got sick, so I moved into my inherited house to be closer to her. I got a great job locally, and I’ve lived here ever since. In my free time, I rescue animals and take them in. On my land I have, two cows, one horse, one donkey, a flock of chickens, pigs, cats, and dogs.

I have a VERY demanding job, so sometimes I don’t always have the time to feed them. Obviously I can’t let them starve, so I hire assistants to help with them. It’s a physically demanding job, and not everyone can do it.

I live near a college town, so a lot of kids come to interview. Most of them think it’s easy cash, just feeding animals and such, but they have to carry that food across to the paddocks everyday. I have a couple requirements for the job. Like no allergies, you’ve got to be strong, fast, and good with animals.

So the other day, I got these two kids come in. A girl and boy. The girl was very nice, but she was short and petite. Not the type I was looking for to haul hay across my farm. The boy however, was huge. I asked both of them to try and pick up one of my pigs. Boy could do it, girl could not.

I hired the boy but not the girl. Next thing I know she’s screaming at me about how I’m sexist and that the only reason I didn’t hire her was because she’s a girl. Truth is, I don’t hire many girls. I don’t usually get any that come in. I do have one of my staff though.

I told her that she just didn’t fit the requirements and she started crying and left. I know she wasn’t a good fit, but she just seemed so upset.

AITA?

(If he couldn’t lift it, and she could, i would hire her instead. And yes they will need to be able to pick up the pigs. Or at least drag their stubborn asses into their pen) ######

Response:
 NTA but you really should put on you add that the job requires to be able to carry a certain weight and walking at least x distance daily. There are a lot of women that are good at farm work so sex shouldnt be a requirement, but if you need some physical atributtes you should be forward about it.

Edit: Ok, you are right I should have use the word gender instead of sex. English is not my first language and that is why I made the mistake. ######


Prompt: I share a house with 4 people, we are all in college. I before we moved in, I bought a new receiver so I could listen to my music through these larger speakers I had recently acquired. The receiver has Bluetooth capability so naturally we all connect to listen to music, which I had no problem with, all I asked is that after they disconnect after they use it so if I want to use it and they’re not, it will connect to my phone, they never do, ever. Yesterday I finally hit a breaking point and told them to disconnect to the Bluetooth because i am never able to connect because one of their phones always is. They start banning me from all their stuff and eventually I just leave because I was so mad. ######

Response: NTA but you probably could've been more tactful about it ######


Prompt:
So I feel terrible and guilty but I also feel like I have no choice. Looking for advice and unbiased judgment.

I have a younger sister (26) who’s disabled. I won’t get into it but she’s unable to work a full time job and is on disability, which isn’t much. She’s been living with me for ~3 years. I pay for nearly everything including groceries but she chips in for utilities or takeout once in a while.

Last year she started dating a guy and got very serious very quickly. He’s underemployed with social anxiety and lives off of a little money his parents send him each month. He also moved in with us a few months back. I live in a larger house so didn’t mind 2 more people at the time.

Two weeks ago my sister told me she was pregnant. I was shocked. She said she’s around 1.5 months along and they’re excited to be parents. I didn’t know how to react and sat on it for a few days before approaching both of them and saying that I can’t have them raising a baby in my home.

I basically support both of them at this stage, letting them use their own money (again, not much) for leisure things like movies or video games. I asked them how they plan on paying for a baby and they didn’t think it was a big deal. I imagine if the baby comes I’ll probably end up paying for all 3 of them.

In the end I told both of them that they can stay with me until the baby comes, but I don’t want a baby in my home and the huge amount of responsibility that will probably fall to me. My sister cried and her bf accused me of being two faced, because they have nowhere else to go. I offered to help them pay rent for the first few months and budget for them but they’re resistant. My sister is now saying I’m essentially forcing them to give up their baby by kicking them out. I feel bad but I feel like if this keeps going I’ll be supporting an entire family on my own for who knows how long. AITA? ######

Response: NTA but you need to revise the move-out date up a few months because if they are still there when the baby arrives you will have a much harder time forcing them to leave. She should be about 2 months along now; I would tell them they have until she is 6 months and then they can move on their own or you will start a formal eviction process. That gives them four months to figure something else out and also for the quarantine to lift. Do NOT back down on this - they're only excited to be parents because they've never had to actually be responsible adults themselves; it isn't your burden to have to cater to two grown ass adults, esp when they're selfish enough to throw a baby on you that you don't want or need. ######


Prompt:
My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us.
I generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.
A few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue.
Am i overreacting? Aita? ######

Response: NTA but you need to recognize this friendship is unhealthy and end it ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker who is not pregnant and is always gloating about how physically fit she is. However ever since she started 2 years ago has been parking in the expecting mothers parking spots. One time taking the last space from me while I was pregnant and on a walking distance restriction. Today after I parked in the normal spots (my baby is 4 months now yay!) I saw her park in the spots again and it made me irrationally angry. Would I be the asshole if I called her out and asked her "so, how many years pregnant are you?"

She has NO restrictions and HR has done nothing about it and has been told by multiple people. ######

Response: NTA but you might get in trouble with HR for that. You should probably consider another approach. ######


Prompt:
Not long because the title says it all.

I fell pregnant earlier this year by my boyfriend and since we're both 23 and not stable enough, I told him I was planning to abort. He said he didn't support that decision but it wasn't his choice so he'll just go with it. I had the procedure and we continued dating but now I've heard from a mutual friend that he tells them and his family that I murdered his firstborn or some bullshit like that. I shouted at him about it and admittedly did post some stuff for him on fb(without his name). He apologized and said he won't do it again but now his sister is attacking me for being an asshole to him. aita? ######

Response: NTA but you mean ex boyfriend right? ######


Prompt:
The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I don’t pay rent or utilities, but I am completely financially independent of him and pay for my car/insurance, phone, groceries, etc. I was in a rough spot financially due to COVID but recently received backpay for the 15 weeks I was unemployed and it amounted to about $9500. When my dad found out, he was happy for me. Then he told me he wanted to charge me $600 in rent for July and August. I think this is unfair because I think housing agreements should be made before someone moves in and it just feels like my dad is trying to take advantage of me. I tried to explain this to says that it’s the least I can do for him.

tl;dr AITA for not wanting to pay my dad rent? ######

Response:
 NTA but you gotta get that in writing. Tell him if he wants to charge you rent then you'll have to move into a tenant/landlord arrangement, and that means dropping everything you do for him, or working out (in writing) which chores contribute toward rent. July is Way too soon to start springing rent on you, morally. And the fact that you don't have a predictable income also makes him TA, morally. Legally I have no idea.

He's probably within his rights to ask for rent, but he's fundamentally changing the relationship between you and you're moving into something that needs documentation and budgeting. ######


Prompt:
AITA

Two years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######

Response: NTA but you got scammed ######


Prompt:
Our whole relationship is great except for our bedroom situation. We haven’t been intimate in several months and I don’t really show off my body to him anymore.

All of my pajama clothes were in the wash and they weren’t fully dry and I had literally nothing else to wear other than stuff that’s not comfortable to sleep in. I also don’t want to sleep in thick pajama pants because it’s 95 degrees outside.

I figured screw it why not sleep naked just for tonight. I got into bed and he got all weird. Asking me why I wasn’t wearing clothes, which I explained why and he said surely I could find something to wear. I said yes I have other clothes but I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in those clothes. I told him I didn’t see the big deal and it was just for a night, we used to sleep naked all the time.

He got really bugged and said it was weird and it made him uncomfortable. I got up and went to sleep on the couch. AITA? ######

Response: NTA but you got bigger problems than no clean sleep clothes. ######


Prompt:
My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!!

For context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name.

It came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess.

My friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ######

Response:
 NTA but yelling at her isn't the way to go about it.

My advice would be to let her know that you love her, etc but make it clear that when you two speak you will not even entertain that subject. Like, not. at. all. And then make good on that if she pushes. When she says "So, when do you plan on settling down." you get up, grab your keys and you leave. Don't be mean about it, but just don't entertain the conversation. If she gets mad or asks why you're leaving you say "You broke the rules. I'd love to come back if you can follow them." ######


Prompt:
My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her.

To be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer.

She thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’.

I don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?

(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######

Response: NTA but with friends like these, who needs enemies? ######


Prompt:
The weather's finally starting to get good again and I'm bored out of my freaking mind stuck at home. At the very least I've figured I can get a quick tan on and enjoy the sun. We're lucky to have a backyard and a small jacuzzi, and I've taken full advantage of both aspects in the last few days. I hate tan lines, and so does my husband, so I happen to spend time in various states of undress when I'm getting my sun on.

When chatting with the neighborhood moms, I happened to say I loved that I could sunbathe outside now with a drink and I've got a perfectly good excuse to do it, which is fresh air and getting out of the house. A luxury in these times, I know.

Almost immediately I got a snide remark from one of them suggesting that I hopefully have enough sense to do it "with decency" because all the neighborhood kids are now indoors and my backyard might not be as private as I think. Like wtf! She even had the gall to suggest I was setting a bad example for my teenage daughter. Like yikes.

I'm this close to sending out a blast on the group passive aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times.

AITA here or is my anger justified? ######

Response: NTA but with caution. You are in every right to do what you want in your own backyard as long as the people who live with you are okay with it and you have a fence. However, I would caution against sending out a "blast on the group passive-aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times" that will only make people angrier and will make their outrage more justified, undermining your own argument. ######


Prompt: My dad is a lower IQ boomer who is a die hard trump supporter and he never shuts the fuck up about how every race other than Italian-American is garbage. All my life, that’s all I’ve heard. I don’t believe that shit at all, that racial BS is garbage and I always call him out on it. After my mom passed, i decided to spend more time with him, I don’t want him to be alone and miserable in his last days. Today I went shopping at the market with him, I ask the deli man (of Haitian descent) for a 20 piece wing, half spicy (my dad hates any type of seasoning) and one extra spicy (for me). He kept telling me to grab the wings on the side in the case, which are all spicy. I tried explaining to the deli dude I don’t want ALL spicy wings, but he kept telling me he won’t serve me, and that I have to grab the all spicy wings that are in the case. I told the dude “forget it bro, I’ll just go to Popeyes”; my dad yells from the back “you dumb Haitian!”. I told my dad “yo, you can’t say that in public man”. He yells out “WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?! ARREST ME?”. I don’t wanna be seen next to someone saying that shit. It’s humiliating, especially when everyone is staring like I’m a giant tub of white trash mayonnaise, just because I’m with him. I left him right there, got a ride to my place, and haven’t spoken to him since. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA but why say racial? Let's be honest, its straight up racist. ######


Prompt:
Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.

 Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there.

Then, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######

Response: NTA but what the fuck? Of course the water bill has gone up your home more often due to covid so logically you will use more water not because little Timmy is drinking 4 gallons more than usual. *smashes head into keyboard* ######


Prompt:
The title of this is a good tldr, but here’s more background information;

My husband and I have been married for five years. After we had our daughter I got pretty severe postpartum depression. I wasn’t myself for about a year and my marriage slowly fell apart. Everything came to ahead when I found out my husband was having an affair (around 4 months) with another woman.

We worked through it. We went to counseling, I got help with my depression, and things eventually sorted themselves out and went back to normal. The affair was a little over a year ago.

One evening a few months ago, I started to think about this woman. I knew her name, so I looked her up on Facebook. I saw that she made art, and looked at her Instagram. Her artwork is beautiful. I found myself checking her Instagram frequently just to look at it. There was one piece that she made around the time of her affair with my husband that really stuck out to me, and I admit I became a bit obsessed with it.

I eventually messaged her, telling her who I was and the situation, and asked her if it was for sale. She gave it to me. She sent it in the mail, she when it came to me I had it framed. I hung it up in our living room last night.

When my husband saw it, he immediately recognized it. He got angry, and asked me why I would hang it up. I told him that I loved it, and I couldn’t explain why. I told him about how I had spoken to her, and he got even more upset. He demanded that I the picture down. When I asked him why, he told me I was throwing the affair in his face. I tried to explain that it was not my reasoning, but he wouldn’t listen. He is threatening to leave if I don’t take the picture down, and I think it’s an exteeeme reaction. Am I being an asshole here and deserving of this response? ######

Response: NTA but weird as hell. There are some levels here a psychoanalyst would love to unpack. ######


Prompt:
Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me.

All of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.

If I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.

WIBTA if I pointed it out? ######

Response: NTA but they’re going to make you feel like you are. ######


Prompt:
For the past few years, my mom has (she may think "discreetly") fat-shamed my sister. Every time my mother says something to my sister, it is obvious that my sister is visibly hurt; I sometimes even hear her cry in her room. She opened up to me and told me that she struggles with binging and restricting and hates it when our mother says anything about her body. Similarly, my mom body-shames me for not being as skinny as my figure-skating club friends (I figure skate competitively) and having too much muscle and fat in my thighs. To be clear, my mother is fatter that both my sister and me.

My mom is not a rational being. So, (this may sound immature), I fat-shame my mother. I thought at first that this would stop her from fat-shaming both my sister and me, if she knew what it feels like. But in fact, the more I fat-shamed my mother, the worse it became for me and my sister. But even if I stop fat-shaming my mother, she continues body-shaming anyhow. I've found a middle ground of fat-shaming my mother only every two times she body-shames me and my sister, but body-shaming isn't a fun thing to do and I feel sort of bad.

\*\*Also, I've tried the route of trying to have a serious talk with my mother. She won't listen. All she says is "fat is shame" and "I don't want you guys to turn out like me." ######

Response: NTA But they may be better ways to show her how hurt you are and how stupid her tactics ######


Prompt:
I have a friend who i found out some time ago to be an anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated, believing that vaccination causes autism and that they dont want "chemicals" in her future kids. Ive tried over multiple occasions to tell them that these beliefs are not true when the subject is brought up by them, but they never listen or believe what i say.

&#x200B;

Some of the things about this that annoyed me at the beginning was her refusal to get shots for her overseas travels and she gets sick at the drop of a hat. Whenever i see her she always says shes just coming off a cold or flu, which annoys me because she doesnt stop to consider myself catching a cold from her or anyone else when were out. She is constantly sick in some way or form.

&#x200B;

But some of the more recent concerns i have had was her declaration that she wanted kids in the future (she is still single and young) and for them to be un-vaccinated for the above reasons.
They also started to expand their side job and she is within contact newborns and young kids, which made me uncomfortable due to these kids being at risk to catching her colds let alone anything else she could contract on her travels at some point.

&#x200B;

WIBTA if i told her that she shouldnt have or work with kids if shes an antivaxxer/not vaccinated? ######

Response: NTA but there is no point telling her, she won't listen. Tell the businesses she works with, she is endangering children's lives. Hopefully they will put a stop to her. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek...

when this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy...

Last night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ######

Response: NTA but the worse lesson you are teaching him is pressuring a girl gets the results he wants. ######


Prompt:
Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects.

I normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).

We were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.

Before the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.

Turned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.

She was and is still angry at me for my "shitty suggestion", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but starving yourself for three days then binging is a pretty bad eating disorder so take care of yourself ######


Prompt:
Apologies for mobile post.

Basically a year ago I did a study abroad program. I had a couple of pet fish I had to leave behind. When I came home I reclaimed my pets, but my younger sister had grown attached to one so she asked to keep it. I said yes, as long as my parents helped with taking care of it. They agreed. For the record it is a pretty low level fish in terms of care; a betta that is in a 5 gallon tank with a filter.

I live two hours away for school. Routinely my mother will text me I need to come home to clean the aquarium. I remind her I offered to take him back with me, and they wanted him so it is not my responsibility. Regardless she will say things like ‘if you don’t come clean it the fish is just going to die’. Among expletives calling me lazy/ungrateful for not just doing it for them.

In the past I have come and done it just to ensure the fish’s health. Most of the time the tank isn’t even dirty; the 9 year old leaves the light on so algae grows on the glass and they take that to mean it’s ‘dirty’.
Given current circumstances I’m even less keen on the 4 hour drive.

AITA for not wanting to drive two hours there and two back just to clean a fish tank when I have taught them how but they refuse? ######

Response: NTA but spare yourself and just bring the fish back with you next time you visit. Then you don't have to worry about the drive or the fish. If your sister or parents complain, tell them that if they're not responsible enough to care for it, then they don't get to keep it. ######


Prompt:
Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.

One day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.

I yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her.

The next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.

I tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )

I was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.

When I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.

I just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.

This is where we are at now AITA? ######

Response: NTA but she needs to go see a therapist or something. That’s not normal. ######


Prompt:
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.

I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.

I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.

I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.

I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...

Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.

TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######

Response: NTA but please think about all the purple eyed people you are offending as well! lol ######


Prompt:
So when me and my fiancé Johnathan met, I knew that he had three kids and was going through a divorce.

Now, Emily and Johnathan had a bad split, she cheated on him with a friend of their family and pretty much broke his heart.

I’ve taken Johnathan and his three kids in with open arms, the children had even begun to call me mom, but Emily threw a fit and demanded they call me ONLY by name. Nothing else. She hates that I do the girls hair, and trash talks me and their father in front of them.

Now, the kids and I have a great relationship and love each other very much, however whenever their mother is around they completely ignore me, and pretend I’m not even around. At first I thought it was normal, however I’m starting to get the feeling they are pretending to like me. Am I the asshole for wanting them to knowledge me when she’s around?

(Kids ages are 4,7,9) ######

Response: NTA but please don't. You're an adult. They're small children who've been put in an impossible situation by their mom. Please don't insist on this. Try to arrange it so you're not around when their mother is. Hand offs should be between your husband and his ex. Take the high road and never bad mouth their mother anywhere they might come across it. This situation sucks for them and you can help make it better. ######


Prompt:
I'm moving in with my husband, long story but I have to move countries.

His son is living there. I have questions and I feel like I'm not being told the whole story so here it goes:

\- He moved a few years ago after saying he need a few months to sort himself out. I didn't agree to looking after a man-child when I married my husband and step-son wasn't in the plan for us.

\- He had a job in a shop as a manager in 2017 and quit after a few weeks as he was too "stressed".

\- Since then, he's sat at home doing nothing and my husband is funding this.

Now, he's turned 25 and will no longer be able to be on our health insurance in a year (when he turns 26). I do not like seeing my husband being taken advantage of and I have a suspicion his son has access to our joint account. Soon my salary will be in there, AITA for not wanting to bank roll the adult step-son and expect him to be working? AITA for suggesting my husband put pressure on his son and stop enabling him to be a lazy c\*\*t? I feel like I'm having the pee taken out of me.

If he's depressed, then we can take him to see a therapist and get it sorted but this has gone on too long now. I don't feel I'm the a\*\*hole but feel my husband needs to man up and my step-son needs to get a life as it' really sad that he has no friends his own age or career prospects. ######

Response:
 NTA but please don't let this guy have access to your money. You dont HAVE to have a joint account.

Therapy sounds like a good option. I wouldn't call him a lazy c××t though, especially if you suspect depression. ######


Prompt:
So I (F/22) at the moment live with my family. Sadly our apartment isn't huge so I'm sharing a room with my brother (18), always had. Now this might sound childish from my perspective, but it is what it is and I can't take it anymore. He pretty much has a routine - almost every day goes to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. I usually go to bed at around midnight and sleep at least until 9am. When he wakes up, he doesn't care about anything else but himself. He opens up the curtains to the fullest (so that the light could come in); opens and closes drawers with a bang; when leaving the room, literally smashes the door; sometimes he even plays the dang music. Basically it's like there's no one else in the room. The proper way would be to just tell him, right? Tried before. He literally says: "I don't fkin care, maybe it's time to sleep less".
Now when I go to sleep (which is later than him) and he's already asleep, I literally try my best to be as silent as possible (I don't even know why I do this anymore). I could be turning on this small table lamp (so I could see things in the dark) and he'll literally start complaining. I thought about doing this thing where I act like I don't care either and when I go to sleep, I could just do the same things he does, so that he knows what it feels like. The only problem is that I don't like being mean, I'm not the type of person. Literally feel like I would be the asshole here, would I?
Also it triggers me even more considering I suffer from insomnia and I'm lucky enough if I fall asleep at like 6am and get to sleep for 3 hours. From yesterday literally started sleeping on the couch in another room... ######

Response:
 NTA but OP your solution will get you nowhere, it'll just escalate things into a petty war.

Have you tried sitting down and trying to reach a compromise with your  brother? If you two are able to talk to each other on other topics without fighting maybe you can reach some sort of truce with this as well.

The elephant in the room here might also be that the room you're sharing with your brother now probably used to just be his room right? ######


Prompt:
I own my house. Myself, very old dog Beau and a housemate live in it. Because beau is old he is inside while I’m at work and I’ve always been very clear that my housemate needs to keep his door closed. The other day he didn’t and Beau got into a very large bag of chocolate, I got home and caught it, an emergency vet visit later and he is fine. my housemate has demanded I replace his chocolate, I’ve said ok fine I’ll replace his chocolate if he pays for the vet bill(which I never asked him to pay until he kicked up a stink about his chocolate)
AITA for not wanting to replace his chocolate because he left his door open? Yes the dog is solely mine but still... ######

Response: NTA but only if you pay the dog tax and show us Beau, the good boi. ######


Prompt:
Forgive me, but English is not my first language.

I am planning to get married soon, and I, a male, am planning to change my family (last) name to my wife’s last name.

My entire family’s pissed for a multitude of reasons:

**Grandparents:**

Women need to give up last name, never men!

**Father:**

You’re escaping the family curse! (My last name is Kim, and we live in Japan, which has discrimination against Koreans. It was really bad when my father was working, now it’s thankfully low-key and not bad at all). He has a “we suffered due to last name so you suffer” mentality.

**Mother:**

Who else is going to carry out family name and legacy! You only have one sister who can’t carry it! I am not letting my branch of family end on my watch!

**Sister:**

\[looking peeved\] You’re just tired of people asking you to speak Korean, right? Just deal with it! (My family lineage stopped speaking Korean at my great-grandfather’s generation).

**I just want to change my last name so…**

1) Symbolize that my wife is the master of the household.

2) I can escape low-key racism.

3) Stop disappointing people when they try to be friendly by animatedly asking if I can speak Korean, only to find out I can only speak Japanese and English.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA but only because - this is a decision for yourself and your wife and if she's fine with it then that's all that matters.

Also I got a good laugh at your father wanting you to suffer because he suffered. He sounds like my great-grandmother who complained we never had to endure the Great Depression and WWII as though that was a bad thing. Pretty sure if she'd had the power she'd have crashed the stockmarket just to teach us a lesson. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) am an intern at my company and will be in my position until December and have been here since January. My coworker (50's f) has been working her for about 25 years.

My office is no where near anyone else's office (great place to put your intern, btw). While it is a bigger office then hers, there is really nothing that makes this office better. There is only really a desk in here, not even a trash can. And it is right next to the bathroom, so you can here and smell when others have used it... Often.

Her office is by everyone else in the department, and while it is smaller, it has many storage spots and much more usable space.

The issue is that she had been telling me that she will be moving into this space. First, she only mentioned to my supervisor and didn't even say a word to me. She then changed her mind, saying she'll wait until I go back to school in August, not knowing I'm hereunto December.

Now, she knows I'm here longer than she expected and told me "well, I want to move in over here soon."

I don't care either way, but I feel a little disrespected by her essentially telling me rather than asking.

WIBTAH if I tell her that I don't mind switching, but would appreciate it if she asked to switch rather than tell me?

I am only an intern, so maybe I'm out of line trying to get someone who has a higher status and now experience to ask rather than say. I also don't want to be disrespectful in return.

So reddit, WIBTAH? ######

Response: NTA but not in the position to make a big deal about it.  Maybe just ask your supervisor "hey, x mentioned that we might be swapping offices soon. I haven't heard anything from you about it yet so I wasnt sure if it was just an idea or something that was going ahead.  I'm happy to move across if you want me to, just let me know if/when." That way it's flagged (if they don't know about it, it will make them aware without you being labeled as difficult). ######


Prompt:
Long story short, my boyfriend spends a moderate sized chunk of money on things like patreon and onlyfans so I got annoyed and told him something along the lines of "Why do you spend all this money on random women when I'm right here and we could use this money to go somewhere together", it also makes me feel bad when I see him replying to these models tweets about how hot they are and how he'd love to fuck them, even though we follow each other

Anyway, my comment annoyed him and he snapped at me and said "why the fuck does it matter how much i spend".

Am I being unreasonable with this? I feel ignored because I am here to do all that stuff with if he wants.. ######

Response: NTA but my heart hurts reading this thread and your replies to everyone, OP. You seem to think that this isn’t a sign of his disrespect towards you and your monogamous relationship, you say you wouldn’t break up with him over this. All I can say is re-read what everyone has said to you and don’t discount it. I can’t believe he openly does this stuff and I can’t believe that you can’t see what his actions actually mean. This is a highly troubling relationship and I hope you gain clarity about all of this because I hate to think of you being with someone like that. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March.

Today he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.

I’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half.

My boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people.

WIBTA? ######

Response: nta but my end of july trip to jamaica was just cancelled, unfortunately yours probably will be as well ######


Prompt: He says "we have two incomes so we split the rent two ways and that's how it works" but I don't feel like that's right. I'm paying rent for his wife... They're my friends and I don't want it to become an issue but I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of... I know we aren't supposed to post about interpersonal conflict so I tried to keep it just about the math. Sorry if this is against the rules, but I really need to figure this out. ######

Response:
 NTA but maybe not 2/3, especially if they're sharing a room. I lived with a couple and we spilt it such that they each paid less than I did, but together it was still more. The fact that they only have one income doesn't really matter, they're still two separate people you have to live with instead of one.

Just make sure you approach it matter-of-factly and not like you're demanding or getting mad, this is a pretty reasonable ask. ######


Prompt:
My partner and I live in a garden apartment, our windows are literally ground level.

We were sitting there watching tv (tv is under the window), and we see a kid in our window. Kid doesn’t just look in and leave, kid stares in. For a hot minute. I walk out, see mom, and ask her to not allow her kid to stare in my window. She says her kid was playing in the yard. We live in an apartment building, fair enough. However, there’s a giant bush in front of our window. You can’t get to our window without going around this massive bush.

I told her to teach her kid to not stare into people’s windows.

This lady lost it. Completely. She started screaming at me that kids don’t know and that she didn’t mean anything and all this.

I told her I get she’s a kid, but maybe teach her to not stare in people’s windows?

Again, she lost it. Her kid started sobbing. This woman called the cops on me for making her daughter cry. Not kidding. She called the cops for that.

I tried walking over to her a few minutes later and talk to her, tell her I get kids will be kids, but kid should know to not stare in windows, and she just continued to go the fuck off on me. And how I made her daughter cry and made her daughter hysterical and how I’m going to get arrested for making her daughter so upset.

The cops came. They actually did. I told them I just tried to tell her I wasn’t ok with her kid looking in my window. The cops were not impressed by this call, at all. We live in Chicago, there’s about 102839 other things the cops could be doing besides dealing with this.

They told us to avoid each other. No problem for me.

Am I the asshole for this? Should I have been more understanding? ######

Response: NTA but maybe buy some curtains ######


Prompt:
I (23F) got laid off from my job as of yesterday. Without giving out too much information I was a health care recruiter living in a major city where everything has been hit pretty hard. Naturally, we expected there to be layoffs.

Unfortunately out of about 35-40 people in my company I was considered apart of those layoffs as of 6 PM yesterday. I was upset, as most could imagine because I no longer had an income or a job that I loved.

I intended to go through all my candidates / clients today and transfer them over to a new recruiter, “Mary”(23F), so that they weren’t left without a point of contact and so that they knew what was going on.

Before I had a chance to contact my candidates Mary reached out to them to let them know “ I’d been promoted “ so therefore she’d be “taking over as their recruiter from here on out”. I proceeded to receive over 20 text messages congratulating me on my promotion and wishing me the best.

I had no idea she had done this until the end of day today when Mary said it’d just be an “easier transition” if people thought I was promoted. I told her it was was an asshole move because after getting laid off extremely out of the blue in unprecedented times I had everyone working for me “congratulating” me on my promotion.

My parents think she was just being cautious of my best interests but I’m still really hurt, so AITA ? ######

Response: NTA but Mary def is. It wasn’t her place to tell your clients what happened. That’s just messed up. ######


Prompt:
My sister (38) had a child 3 years ago. I (25) took that child under my wing 3 years ago. Here's a bit about the situation.

My sister  has  drug and alcohol addictions.

My sister give birth to a beautiful little boy. The minute the child was born the social worker where involved as this wasnt my sister 1st child.
She had a child 18 years ago and our mother and father ended up taking the child in when he was 4.

The child born 3 years ago was in the position of going to foster care.  I couldnt let this happen. He's  famiy. so I did everything in my power to kept him in our family

I stept in and took the child under my wing. At 22 this was a big resonabile but I didnt cared. I had to quit my jobs and I had to buy everything for the child as my sister hadn't had anything. She was gifted stuff but the person that gifted it asked for it back. I moved out of my home house to get a house of my own so the child could stay in my care.

My sister  sign and agreed that I cared for the child. I have full guardianship now.

The child calls me mammy. And calls my sister by her first name. In the years to come I am going to tell the child everything. The child knows he has a big brother but is to young to understand yet about his birth mother.

The child sees the mother every week for 2 hours. Due to the covid 19 it had to  be put on hold. However the mother only has two hours once a week and sometimes comes late. She somethings shows up with drink in her (gets turned away the door) and sometimes doesn't even show up at all.

She hasn't seen the child for 3 or months and I was putting the contact back on today. She didn't show. Didnt ring. Nothing. Found our later she slept in.

I'm my opinion I dont think she's that bothered

I'm not sure if I should continue the contact in future as she is unreliable and it's not fair to the child

Would I be the asshole if I stop contact with the birth mother and the child. ######

Response: NTA but make sure you go through proper channels. If the paperwork states she’s allowed visits, make sure to go through the court system etc. if nothing in the paperwork states you must let her see him, I’d tell her she’s cut off until she gets herself together. He’s better off forgetting her than having her flounce in and out whenever she feels like it. ######


Prompt:
So I (22M) have just inherited a very large sum of money from my grandfather (80M), he passed recently. I won't disclose the full amount, but it's in the 7 figures.

My dad isn't in the picture... was raised by my mom (60F). Have 5 sisters (18F, 22F, 25F, 29F and 35F) and one brother (14M).

As you can imagine, things were very difficult. I always did feel neglected compared to my sisters and pushed aside.

Now I'm not sure why I got the inheritance. It's not like I was smarter than some of my sisters or in a better position (I did ok for myself going to college, but they went to better ones) so this surprised me. I could be real lazy sometimes which was the opposite of my grandad so I'm surprised I got the inheritance. I think he just took a liking to me.

As soon as I found out, I knew right away I would keep all of it to myself. I don't want to give any of it to my family or even friends. It's all mine.

The first thing my family did was to call a meeting and basically they EXPECTED I would share it and they asked how, and I looked confused and told them "you're not getting any of it". This caused them to lose it and scream at me, especially my mom and eldest sister who said how could I do this to them.

Then they said i don't deserve it as i didn't work hard (it's true I always partied and worked last minute) but I told them deserve has nothing to do with it.

from my point of view they neglected me and didn't pay attention to me when I had problems growing up. It was all about my sisters.

So I told them it's my money and I'm going to keep all of it and they all called me asshole. Ive already got a new place lined up so I'm moving out when I can. But AITA? ######

Response: NTA but know you are resigning yourself to a life without family at all.  You do this to them, you burn a bridge that I doubt you'll be able to build again. ######


Prompt:
So I'm using a throwaway because my husband knows my main and my grammar maybe bad because I'm extremely upset

So background info i live next door to my in laws there's been some issues but my husband works with his dad and my daughter (4) thinks were her grandparents walk the sun shines so it's not all bad that's until my SIL and her son (7) moved in with her parents because she's having marriage problems rn

I'm gonna be honest the kid is a bully and a spoiled brat I don't wanna go into too much details because of the rules but my poor kid life has been miserable since he came she'll literally be playing in her own backyard minding her business when he'll start being nasty to her so obviously when she starts crying her nana,aunt and uncles will tell her it's her fault in some way and call her a cry baby. Her aunt will make a snarky remark at how my daughter is a trouble maker or laugh it off with the whole "Boys will be boys" than rub her stomach and say the kids are giving her blood pressure

My SIL has been just as bad yelling at her for nothing, banning her for playing with her own toys because it might make her son jealous than throwing a fit if my daughter looks at her kids stuff. She's always been an attention seeker she made my wedding about her we couldn't post a wedding picture because she was going through "issues" with her husband even tho she's 30 her mom treats her like a baby

My husband has been no help he says she's having problems and I should cut her some slack because she's 3 months pregnant even tho I his wife is due to give birth in two weeks!!

I'm sick of everyone enabling her and treating her like a child So WIBTA if I confronted her about her shitty behaviour or just banned all in laws from my home till their attitude changes ######

Response: NTA but it’s not going to make a difference. You have a husband problem not an in law problem. Your husband should be sticking up for you and his child and telling his sister and parents to cut the shit. Until your husband has your back anything you say to them is just going to make your life harder unless you plan on going to stay with your parents or something like that. ######


Prompt: I (23M) will be turning 24 this Wenesday and my gf (24F) of 3 years wanted to suprise me by taking me away to the outer banks this weekend for 1 day (leave after work thursday and come back friday night).  This is a 3 hour trip one way and the weather is supposed to rain both days with a high chance.  I called her today after she suprised me yesterday with the plans and told her with the virus still rampant and bad weather, that just wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off that i took for my birthday.  This weekend i have to help her parents build a deck so this day off is honestly a short amount of time for me to celebrate which i honestly want to drink beer, play old school runescape and watch movies with her at home where it's safe. After telling her how thoughful the gift was i told her i wanted a raincheck for better conditions when we could really enjoy it, when restaurants reopened and nicer weather. She was hurt and said we still could've had fun and now i feel like AH.  So AITA? ######

Response: NTA but it's valid her feelings are hurt. Everyone's plans are on hold right now so it makes sense you don't want to do much, either. Still, it sounds like she put some effort into it. But ultimately, it is your birthday, you are helping her family, and your desired plans are less extravagant, not more. So try not to argue with her over it and then enjoy your birthday! ######


Prompt:
Hi all. So I'm really looking for help.

About five months ago, I had a minor car accident where it was my fault. I moved forward at a junction, realised the car in front of me hadn't moved and skidded on wet ground when I tried to stop. My car actually had more damage then hers.

The problem came when she mentioned she was pregnant. Right at the end I wished her good luck with the baby and she said 'if I still have one after this'. I am someone who has a condition that makes me more prone to having a miscarriage, so that upset me. Still, we exchanged details, I tried to put it from my mind.

A few days after the accident, she texts me and says she's lost the baby. That completely broke me emotionally. I had to leave work that day. Multiple people told me it wasn't my fault. It's been in my head throughout everything that was going on.

Now to today. I was at the supermarket this morning, and recognized her in the aisle ahead of me... obviously pregnant. After a few minutes, I went over to her and greeted her. I could tell she recognized my face and couldn't place me. So I told her: "I'm the woman you had a car crash with and then told you lost your baby. Congratulations on the miracle regrow, by the way." She instantly looked panicked and walked away fast.

I really want her to have some repercussions for this. I'm tempted to contact her insurer (I still have the information on my phone) to make them aware. But I feel like that would make me an AH. So Reddit... WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA but it won't accomplish anything. Knowing they have a complete asshole as a client won't make them drop her. Feel free to do it but be prepared to be told to go away by the insurance provider.

Edit: I will say that if you needed therapy or something like that as a result of this that's a different story as you have proof she told you she lost the baby and they (or more likely she) could be liable to pay for that. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I'm currently living on the other side of the planet. With all the quarantine stuff, my mom's been actually genuinely worried about the family's well being, so she and my step-dad have organized a little video meeting every day where my step-dad shares a piece of the Bible and comments on it.

I should clarify that I'm 26, gay, atheist and I have a degree on Philosophy. Former Christian. My parents are not okay with any of the previous points. Except perhaps for my age.

I agreed to the meetings bc I felt like it would be a nice thing to do for my mom since he genuinely sounds worried. At first it was fine. Boring, but fine. However, since about a week ago, something has started to annoy me.

There have been many, too many mentions of homosexuality being a sin, a sign of the end of times; or quotes from Philosophers that get shut down with an absolute dumbass argument; or mentions of apostates burning in hell.

And you may think this is standard religious stuff, but I know my parents far better than that.

So, today I got sick of it and I shot back.

My step-dad talked about Genesis, I questioned every single thing he brought up; he mentioned the ark and the flood, I shot back with scientific evidence; he mentioned Newton, I pulled his biography; he questioned Voltaire, I argued back; he claimed "all bodies emmit light" and I obviously shot that down immediately, not just bc it simply isn't true, but also bc he's mentioned several times he doesn't believe in the four elemental forces (despite being a retired Nuclear Medicine Physician).

Needless to say the call ended abruptly and in an unfriendly manner.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but it sounds like your step father doesn't want to hear your side. If the only reason you want to engage is for the sake of your mother, try having a video call with just her? I am in no way saying your step father's beliefs are correct or justified but that may be a solid compromise. ######


Prompt:
Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA but it sounds like your mom needs some help. She obviously needs therapy and rehab ######


Prompt:
Trying to make this quick and not put too much into it.

We have a 6yo daughter together. In May on Mother's day, my husband did nothing to have her give me a gift or even say the words to me. I want to say he got me a $1 bag of candy from the store and tossed it at me very nonchalantly like it was another day.
I feel almost as though I should treat him the same. I was hurt by it at the time but didn't want to make a scene about it.

Today being father's day is harder for me. I lost my dad a few years ago. My husband does not talk to either one of his parents. Which is a choice of his that I very much respect (but I would be pretty PO'd if he used that as an excuse to ignore mother's day for the mom of his kid)

I feel a little guilty about ignoring it. Do I go do the same? Get him a candy bar and call it a day? Or have our daughter shower him with some praise? ######

Response: NTA but it doesn’t sound like he’ll really care. Doesn’t seem he takes these days super seriously. ######


Prompt:
My mom and step dad are away taking care of my step dad's mom, and left me, and my 3 step brother (15, 12 and 10) alone and the 15yo is "in charge".  Sure the younger 2 need supervision but I am 14 and don't need him to boss me around cause he does that A LOT.  I can't go to the store for food, he has ultimate say over the TV and dinner, and bosses us all around.  The power has really got to his head and its started to really piss me off cause he isn't that much older than me (14 months to be exact).  The younger 2 just do what he says cause they are younger and don't want to really fight his authority at all and I just don't get it.

I told everyone I was going out to get some stuff for lunch, and my step brother told me I can't go out.  I flat out told him that he can boss his younger brothers around but that shit won't work on me.  He tried to full on block the door but I hiked him out and ran out the front door.

Right when I was paying for the stuff at the store my phone was exploding with calls and text messages.  It was my mom, and when I was walking back I was talking to her.  She was not happy that I went against my brother’s authority and said that once they get back I’m grounded.  I tried to tell her that he is going crazy with a power trip but she wasn’t having it and said that they left him in charge so what he said goes.

When I got home my step brother asked me if it was worth it.  I told him whatever and went to my room.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA but it doesn’t matter because your parents don’t see it like that. I would say you should have told your mom but my guess is she would have just said no. Could your dad step in and help you out? ######


Prompt:
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.

I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.

As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.

I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.

As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.

Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].

WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######

Response: NTA but if you can portion your communal food so that everyone can have a third so everyone can have some then it’ll solve problems. ######


Prompt:
So some quick information is im 15F and I’ve had two very obvious surgical scars on my body my whole life. A feeding tube scar and a open heart surgery scar. If course im thankful i’m alive but I could definitely do without scars. I’m pretty insecure about it and it sucks sometimes I cant wear low cut shirts, some crop tops, or two piece bikinis in the summer because people WILL stare.

For the past three years I been bringing up the idea of a tattoo on my feeding tube scar when im 18 and every time I bring it up it’s immediately shot down. My dad keeps saying “If you grow up with a tattoo I raised you wrong” and my mom thinks its “trashy” And, the reason I care is because they’ll stop supporting me and will be upset with me if I get a tattoo, piercing, etc. They’ve said they’d kick me out if I did it when im living under their roof and I cannot tell if theyre joking or not. I love my parents but idk why the line is just drawn at body modifications.

My dad left to work in another state for the next two years until im in college and then my parents are gonna move out of our current house. I was sitting outside enjoying quality time with my mom and it came again to me discussing the idea of a tattoo. I seriously been trying to convince them. The answer is no. Again. But, my mom said she’d actually pay for plastic surgery to get it removed if it would prevent me from getting a tattoo. But, under one condition and that being I have to be 18. I said no, it would have to be when im 16 (legal with parental consent) or else im getting the tattoo at 18 because it’s easier in terms of recovery and of course safer. She was pissed that im being ungrateful. But, whats the point of getting plastic surgery when I can just have a cover up tattoo?

So, I lost my shit basically yelling “it been three years of me asking? Why won’t you support my decision because im not changing my mind and im getting it when im 18 if not plastic surgery at 16. Its my body.” etc. etc.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but if u get a tattoo, make sure the tattoo artist know how to work with scars. If not done propper the color can "leak" and other things. ######


Prompt:
On April 3rd, our neighbors put up two lawn signs. One says, “Jesus, I just want to thank you for having my mommy keep me.” The other one has a bible verse. I found their signs incredibly insensitive and ordered a pink “I support Planned Parenthood” sign for our lawn.

Our sign was delivered today and my husband is worried that putting it up will cause a “war” with the neighbors. We’re not friends with them. Occasionally, my husband will chat with the husband when they are both grilling. We don’t know the wife or daughter’s name.

I’m active military and we will move in the next year (we rent a house off base) so I don’t care what the neighbors think - but my husband’s support is important to me.

Would I be the asshole for posting a “I support Planned Parenthood” sign in our front lawn? ######

Response: NTA but if this war is just a sign war it will be hard to mow the lawn ######


Prompt:
We broke up recently, it was a toxic breakup, we lived together for two years... Well she jumped ship and moved in with her mom to a different state. She sends me a list of all the stuff she wants me to ship her, we are talking hundreds of pounds worth of stuff, including 3 guitars and a mountain bike. None of these things have boxes already BTW, and guitars are in soft cases.

She calls and says that they will pay me back for all shipping. I immediately get defensive and told her that I will not ship anything unless it is paid for ahead of time. I will not risk my own money to send her 3- 400 dollars worth of shipments to her.

Well she was obviously very mad and hung up the phone. She told me later that her mom doesn't trust me to send her back the difference of cost... Given I have never lied or done anything dishonest at all in this relationship.

AITA? I feel like I shouldn't take personal risk on this... ######

Response: NTA But if they want a receipt, be sure to add time for "handling" since you have to pack everything up for her. ######


Prompt:
Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.

My boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.

AITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######

Response: NTA but if he's not going to enforce those boundaries and be on your team regarding his children taking your stuff/invading your physical space, the relationship is doomed. ######


Prompt:
So maybe I needn't have been so direct, but we have a really old fence that has significantly misaligned slats. While it's mostly never a problem and they think some bushes near these gaps give them some privacy, I've noticed that if I sit at the far end of my patio, I can not only see comfortably into their backyard, but on one occasion caught an ample glance of his wife tanning nude by their pool. Granted, it's not terrible, but I still felt like they ought to know.

His response? He told me to stop perving on his wife and mind my own business. Now I regret telling him and my wife tells me I should've let her tell his wife. AITA here? I'm just trying to inform them of something that costs them more than it does to us. ######

Response: NTA but I’m with your wife on this one, man. It would have sounded better coming from her 😅 ######


Prompt:
My parents moved to the States over 25 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan, but they’ve held onto their religion and culture pretty tightly ever since. I was raised in a very Muslim household with commands to pray 5 times a day and lectures on how to be a good Muslim. One of those rules is that dating is Islam is zinnah, a grave sin. In order to “date” in the religion, you have to get married first. Fast forward to last Saturday when I told my family about my 3-year long relationship with my white girlfriend.

At first they weren’t happy and demanded we broke up entirely. They didn’t see another way. Then my sister talked to them and convinced them of another avenue: getting us married under Islamic and US law and then leaving me to “commit mistakes” on my own, without my family’s support. To them, it’s either that or we have to break up. However, I don’t want to do either of those options. I would like to continue dating her until I can financially and emotionally support her to get married in the farther future. They won’t accept that at all on the basis that it’s not the Islamic way. Therefore, since I can’t marry her and don’t want to break up, I’ve decided to leave my house and figure it out on my own.

I would be hurting my parents immensely and it’s possible they’ll never forgive me. But is their pain and resentment worth my independence? WIBTA for sacrificing my family and their financial support for a 3-year long girlfriend and a shot at independence? ######

Response:
 NTA but I'm going to give it to you straight: This sub is mostly westerners with liberal western values, so you're only really going to get that perspective here and they'll all tell you that it's your life to live. If you asked most conservative Muslims you'd probably be told that you need to respect your parents and/or do as God commands. They'd probably call you the asshole. As the American son of Pakistani immigrants, you have a foot in both worlds and in this instance they are in direct conflict. It's a shame that your parents refuse to accept that by deciding to live in America, they would end up with a son who has many American values.

>But is their pain and resentment worth my independence? WIBTA for sacrificing my family and their financial support for a 3-year long girlfriend and a shot at independence?

No you would not be the asshole, but you're in for a lot of pain regardless of what you choose. No one can answer for you which is the right decision. I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck. ######


Prompt: I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And today she ate an entire apple pie when I begged her not to do so. I was livid. Out of anger I hid the second pie. AITA Reddit? ######

Response: NTA but I'd look into getting her to a psychologist of some sort ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for refusing to take my husbands last name but keeping my ex husbands?

My husband and I have been together for five years, married for 2.5. When we got married I did not take his last name. I was up front with him and told him prior to us getting married that I would not be changing my last name. In my mind, I built an almost 20 year career, graduated with two degrees and raised my daughter with my last name. I was a single mother for eight years before I met him, and I have the same last name as my daughter.

To compromise, I changed my name on Facebook to his so most people think I did change it (even some family members). Professionally and financially I still go by my ex husbands last name. (We share a daughter who looks nothing like me, so part of the reason I kept his last name after our divorce is being of custodial reasons. The other part is because I was already ten plus years into my career with his last name. We married when I was 18.)

My husband is all sorts of pissy about it. But today he got even more mad because my mother called me by my maiden name. I corrected her and said “no, my name is x.” (My legal name, not his last name which I use on Facebook). He is so mad right now that he is refusing to speak to me.

Am I the asshole here? I was up front about my desire to not change my last name. It’s so frustrating to me because he says that I have an “awful mindset” about this. I feel like being this upset about it means he doesn’t care about my identity and sees me as a possession. I feel like a possession to him. We have joint accounts, have bought a home together, and have a son who has his last name (and coincidentally is the spitting image of me). ######

Response:
 NTA but I understand why your current husband is pissed. Nothing says commitment like a loyalty to an ex...

Ps. I'm being sarcastic on purpose as I suspct your husbands feelings are hurt, he might feel like you're not 100% commited to your current relationship. All your reasons make perfect rational sense; however we're talking about feelings and those don't always make sense. I'm sure he understands why interlectally but deep down may just wants you to want to do it. ######


Prompt:
I've been paying for my netflix account for about 8 years. In that time, I've let my dad use my netflix account. I told my dad a couple months ago I was thinking about cancelling my netflix account since I havent used it in months. (Me and my S.O always watch netflix together and use his account). My dad said "do what you gotta do". I cancelled it and he texted me saying he wants to take over my account and change everything over to him. I told him he should just start his own Netflix account. Theres only a couple days left on my Netflix account, and I get an email stating the billing had been updated. I attempt to log in and it states my email is not associated with any account(he changed the email too). On one hand, I understand it's just a netflix account and he didnt want to lose everything he watched or his profile, but I also had a profile I didnt want to lose. It would be there if I ever started my account again which is my right since I've paid for it for 8 years. Also, I feel like its rude he did it when I asked him not to. I called Netflix and they said theres nothing they can do. So, AITA?

Tldr: cancelled Netflix account that I've been paying for. My dad asked to take over my account and I said no and he did anyway.

(Sorry for formatting. On mobile) ######

Response: NTA but I think you need to call netflix. I had someone log into my acct and change the email and I had no issue getting it back under my control. ######


Prompt:
So, I have pretty horrendous eyesight. Well, I used to, because I got LASIK pretty recently. Because of this, I have a habit of leaning closer to the TV or laptop screen or whatever while I’m watching TV. When I say leaning I’m just sitting straight upwards and not leaning back into the couch or bed or whatever. Even after my surgery I haven’t lost the habit and I just lean in when I get really into the show. Idk why but it’s always bothered her. First she said that my posture was bad but when I pointed out to her that my posture is great (by virtue of me sitting with my back straight upwards) and the fact that hers is far worse than mine (her back is curved because of this), she backed off of that excuse. But then she never let go of the issue. For the life of me I don’t know why she has such a problem with it. I should also note that I’ve asked her if I’m blocking her from the screen and she says that I don’t. But she just. Won’t. Stop. It’s gotten worse and more frequent because we’re at home more now and we spend a lot of our time watching Netflix together. I’ve asked her to please stop, I’m doing nothing wrong, etc etc.

So today she was doing it again. I asked her to stop and she does for a while. Then I get up to pee and when I come back she grips my shoulder and pulls me backwards and at this point I can’t help myself and yell at her to leave me alone and eff off and I don’t know why it bothers you so much that I’m sitting straight up or leaning forward, it’s not hurting either me or you. She actually burst into tears and said she’s going for a walk and some fresh air. She hasn’t been back for a while and now I’m getting a bit worried. AITA? ######

Response: NTA but I think you both need to sit down and talk about why it really bothers her so much. ######


Prompt:
So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said "yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said "go ahead I don't give a fuck" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)
at which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######

Response: NTA but I really hope you are a troll. Your dad is foul. ######


Prompt:
So I’m not sure if I’m being petty or not, but my BFs Dad keeps calling me by my BFs ex girlfriend’s name. Our names are kinda similar (think Alex and Alexandria) but not really. My name is the shorter one, Alex. But he keeps calling me “Alexandria.” It really bothers me. But he’s kind of an aggressive, “I’m always right,” kind of guy who doesn’t like being corrected. But I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and have known him and his family for 3 years.

WIBTA if I corrected him every time he got my name wrong? ######

Response: NTA but I feel like your boyfriend should be stepping in. It's his family. ######


Prompt:
My dad and step-mom have been married for 15 years. I am his youngest child and we were adults when he got married.

We have little to do with my step-moms family, they made it clear we weren’t family and wanted nothing to do with us, so we have no contact with them and this works for all of us.

Last night my dad called me and was upset. My stepsister and her boyfriend got into an argument and the boyfriend filed a police report. They have a two year old daughter and I am extremely concerned for her safety as this is not the first time this has happened.

I have no proof the baby is in danger, only what I have been told from my dad. I am still really concerned and think that it is not safe for the baby to be there in that house. I also live 2,000 miles away from my stepsister and have no contact with her.

WITBA if I contacted child welfare and reported this anonymously? ######

Response: NTA but I don't know that child welfare can do much more given the police are involved and you don't know anything specific.  Dad should be doing to follow up, so I would talk to him. ######


Prompt:
I met Harry when I was 20, he was 19 and my sister was 24.

We dated for maybe 4months before I introduced him to my family, 2 years into the relationship we broke up because we wanted different things in life.

(He didn’t want children and I did)  I still had feelings for him then.

A year later my sister told me she was seeing Harry, they’d only started dating but she felt I needed to know,  I told her I wasn’t ok with it and after a huge argument she offered to break up with him.

They stayed together and have been together for 4years now, they’re even expecting a daughter in August.

My sister invited me to her wedding (December) and asked me to be maid of honour, I refused because I can’t believe she expects me to celebrate her relationship to my ex- she knew I wasn’t ok with it and still went ahead with their relationship.

When I told her I wasn’t ok with it and wouldn’t/couldn’t accept their relationship it turned into this huge thing because since she’s having a child with him now and they’re getting married I need to move on and be accepting (I quote “don’t be happy just accept it”) our relationship was years ago and it’s time to move on.

I don’t care about Harry (I kinda do but barely) but the fact she was willing to hurt me like that and make a move on my ex when she knew I wasn’t ok with it?

Harry’s even reached out and apologised to me! I still don’t want to attend their wedding.

My parents think I need to move on and accept it because my sister is devastated that I won’t attend and that she’s happy now, apparently Harry’s a great dad to her son and he’s even planning on adopting her son when they’re married.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA but I do think part of why you're so mad isn't getting addressed.
You mention that you "kinda" care about him. You two broke up over him not wanting children. So you moved on with the idea that he totally thought you were his ideal woman just.....wouldn't want children and you did.
And now you're having to consider that for him, it was never about not wanting children, it was that he didn't want them with *you*. You're feeling judged and misled. And you don't even get to acknowledge that, mourn it, and then move on. He's AROUND. Your sister kept him in your world where you have to watch it. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
The sad fact is your sister is never going to be one of those awesome family members that stands by you no matter what. She's one of the kind that will step on you if you're in her way. I hope you can work through this and get to a calm, even if detached place with her. ######