Prompt:
Throwaway.

So I proposed to my girlfriend beginning of this year. We originally planned to get married this September, but that has obviously been pushed back to next year.

My sister also got engaged last year and her and her fiancé were 100% set to have an April wedding before the pandemic shut everything down. However tragedy struck and her fiancé suddenly passed away this June (Covid death). It has been an extremely tough time for all of us in the family. My sister has been hospitalized on and off for harmful thoughts over the past month and we are all doing our best to support her.

Anyways, now I am fighting with my fiancée because I’m “putting my foot down” so to speak on her latest decision to change our wedding venue to where my sister originally planned hers. My sister had planned to have her wedding at a famous country estate/mansion near where we live.

My fiancée recently told me that she contacted the estate out of curiosity and found out they have openings early next year so she now wants to have our wedding there instead. She visited the place and fell in love and says it’s actually her dream venue. I basically said absolutely not, are you insane? That would be incredibly traumatic for everyone in my family (esp my mom and sisters who already helped my sister and BIL plan their wedding at that exact location).

My fiancée won’t budge and she’s furious I’m not seeing things from her side. She says our wedding could be like a “beautiful tribute” to my sister’s loss but I don’t think anyone would see it that way. More than likely people will think we stole my sister’s wedding ideas and are forcing her to attend out of cruelty. AITA for telling my fiancée her dream venue is an absolute no-go? ######

Response:
 NTA but I am really trying to understand how your fiancée could possibly see that as a “beautiful tribute” for your sister.

“Oh remember that beautiful wedding you were excited to share with the love of your life? Well now that your life’s fallen apart, you get to see someone else have it! *You’re welcome*.” ######


Prompt:
Posting for a friend without Reddit:

I recently attended my child's wedding. His father and I split many years ago when he had an affair and got another woman pregnant. My ex husband has since passed away.

My child has a relationship with this half sibling and the kids that came after them. They attended the wedding.

AITA for not acknowledging them? Another wedding guest called me out for not speaking to them. I don't speak to them because I simply have no relationship with them (didn't recognise them until pointed out) and it is a painful chapter in my life.

Not that I wish them any ill will but I don't care to make small talk with my ex husband's kids. They are adults now and probably also don't want to make small talk with me either. This wedding guest seemed to think I was being rude.

AITA for this? ######

Response: NTA but I am inclined to call the person who said something to you an asshole. You did the appropriate, and normal thing. It would have been weird if you had cozied up to them at the wedding. It possibly could have even caused drama between you, your ex, and his current wife. Why on Earth would someone call you rude. ######


Prompt:
When i was young my mom and dad divorced. Soon after my dad married a new woman. Ever since my step mother entered my life its been hell. Every time i do something a 8yr would do i would get beat.

I  Had my child in September 2019.  every one Saw him expect for my stepmother. Every day she texts me saying let me see him all i do is leave her on read. Every one is telling me to let her see him but im afraid that she will treat him the same way she treated me. AITA ######

Response: NTA but I also think you should be putting equal blame on your father for allowing that woman into your life. ######


Prompt:
So today, I got in the car from work, and brought with me, some cotton candy grapes. I offer my fiancé to try one and he refuses. He seems bothered and he said he’s nauseous because of the smell of the grapes, and my grape breath. He says they smell gross and that he can’t handle the smell.

He never eats fruits or vegetables. He won’t eat the onions in French onion soup, the carrots and peas in stir fry, he’ll pick the onions and pickles off of his burgers, he purposely avoids food with diced tomatoes, he picked off all the green onions off of orange chicken I made....don’t even go into tomatoes. He hates pineapples, strawberries, lychees, bananas, mangos, peaches, plums...

He won’t even try fruits or vegetables. He’s never had broccoli, asparagus, kale, cabbage etc etc. Adding insult to injury he now weighs 323 lbs and is 5’11”. Were both 19. I’m chubby but god damned at least I eat some plants.

He kisses me again after the flavor is out of my mouth, and says sorry he can’t handle fruits or vegetables.

AITA for eating grapes around my fiancé? ######

Response: NTA but how long until his lifestyle becomes a medical emergency? ######


Prompt:
So, my (30M) sister (19F) has always been the golden child in my dads eyes, my parents  adopted me thinking that they wouldn't have biological parents, they split when I was 10 and my father went on to have my sister.

I'll give her this, she was very intelligent basically straight As based on my dads bragging.

Well, my dad expected her to be a doctor or something like that- very high expectations, my dad for the past year has been paying her rent while she goes college, even though she works.

I called my dad yesterday when he let me know how disappointed he was in my sister...turns out she's pregnant and has no immediate plans on continuing with her education! Cherry on top? The father of the  baby is  only three years younger than me.

I'm not happy about my sisters situation, I do not approve of her relationship.

Well, I laughed when I found out, because the pressure my father has put on her for the past 19 years (cheerleading, track, countless diets to keep her skinny, making her give up her dream of being a vet) finally made her crack and I find it hilarious that he doesnt see **he did it to her** and he thinks he has the right to say he's disappointed?

My father, however, took this as me laughing at my sister but when I explained no- I'm laughing at him, it made things so much worse.

My stepmother has been texting me  non stop about how I hurt my father, how he just wanted to vent and as family I should support and respect him and even if I didn't it was just a genuinely dickish move to laugh.

AITA?

**ThrowRa since I use my normal account frequently** ######

Response: NTA but how about you reach out to your sister, sounds like she could use your support right now, unlike your dad. ######


Prompt:
It's always been an unspoken rule at my home that if someone buys a console everyone could use it (though the person who got it could choose where to put it and always had a right to use it first if they wanted to). Everyone agreed with that and it was really useful because we'd be able to have a wider array of consoles.

Sometimes we'd buy games with everyone's money if everyone wanted to play that specific game. A few months back, we did that, but since the digital version was less expensive we downloaded it on my brother's Switch (I also have one, but therefore can't play it on my own Switch). I also got a PS4 that I bought with my own money that I got from working part-time.

My brother has been the one who used it the most. He uses it so much that there are often times where I wait an entire evening only to realise that it's too late to play anymore. Over the last weeks I've asked him several times if I could play that game we had bought on his Switch and he just told me to play something else.

I'm honestly pretty frustrated by his attitude and want to tell him to no longer touch my PS4. However I feel like it would be a pretty asshole-ish move to single him out.

WIBTA if I told him that ?

When I asked for a ######

Response: NTA but how about work out a rota system that gives them some time to play it but reflects that you bought it yourself. If they don't abide by that you can go further... ######


Prompt:
For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it.

Now, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her keys to my new place, which she kept referring to as her apartment. I folded then, and regretted that choice when she kept showing up unannounced while i was at uni.

As for my new place, she has already threatened to “throw me out” and “get herself a new tenant” if she ever comes in to find dishes in the sink. I never claimed to be the most tidy person, but that didn’t sit well with me. What right does she have to throw me out of a condo I own? My name is in the register, no one else’s. I don’t want her to gaslight me into folding again, but she is adamant it is “her” apartment and that she is “technically the owner” as she birthed and raised me. I love my mom, but I’m terrified.

When I said I wouldn’t give her any keys to the place, she lost her shit. Calling me ungrateful, that it was HER apartment, that I had no right to keep her out of it. I still feel like this is my property, and my name on the loan, but I’m also terrified of cutting her off because I know she will ruin my life as she sees fit. She once called the police to do a wellness check on me because i was in the tub and didn’t respond to her messages quickly enough.

So, Reddit — WIBTA for not giving my mom keys to my new place ? ######

Response:
 NTA but hide your keys, and put your mum on an info diet. Stop telling her things she might twist against you. If she keeps calling wellness checks on you, go to the police about it. There have been a few posts about mothers calling excessive wellness checks on their kids over at r/legaladvice and they all say go to the police, and in some cases you could even press harassment charges.

You need to pull yourself out of the FOG (doing things out of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt)

The wiki over at r/justnomil and r/justnofamily could be helpful to you as well.

Therapy is also always a good idea. You need to live your own life, not one controlled by your mum ######


Prompt:
I often go the local park to study/read a book etc. There’s this apartment complex near the park and people living there have a direct view of the park.

Yesterday I was chillin when this woman who lives in the apartment came up to me. She asked me if I could move to another spot. I asked her why and she said that I was “distracting” her husband. I was confused and at first didn’t even understand what she meant by that. She was SUPER vague but clarified that her husband does “*what men do*” and that I should go somewhere else.

So at this point I was pretty disgusted. I replied that I wouldn’t move and put my headphones on again. She got very irritated and said that I should respect other people’s wishes and “do the right thing”. Then she said that I come to the park too often and that I should consider other people’s marriage. Apparently she discussed this with other women in the apartment and they agree with her.

I told her that I don’t care about anybody’s marriage and that her husband is probably a porn addict if he can’t handle the sight of a female stranger in public.

Well that clearly pissed her off because she was seething with anger. She said that her husband doesn’t watch porn and called me a “sick, twisted little girl” for even suggesting that. I told her that she was making me really uncomfortable but she was STILL attacking me over the porn addict comment. She kept repeating that he doesn’t watch porn & that he’s not interested in me and not to flatter myself.

Afterwards she left but not before telling me that I will “face consequences” sooner or later.

I told my friend about it and she thinks I’m an AH for accusing the woman’s husband of being a porn addict. She said that it was very disrespectful and that she understands why the woman got so upset. And she added that I shouldn’t upset a crazy person since I can’t predict what she might do.

Am I the AH here? ######

Response:
 NTA but here's some advice if it happens again. Freak out big time. "what? you husband is spying on me? is he a stalker? How often has this been going on? Which apartment do you live in? I need to know for when I file a police report. OMG! I'm so freaked out right now. I've never been stalked before. Does he have a history of this? Does he stare at me every time I come to this park? Is he dangerous? I better get a restraining order. Is he a registered sex offender? Oh my God, I feel so gross right now. Can I get you name and address for my police report?" Fake hyperventilate...more "oh my God, Oh my God!!!"

Edit: Thanks for the upvotes and awards! ######


Prompt:
LTL/FTP, throwaway acc cos family members know my main and I don't need the stress.

My husband and I are choosing baby names. We both have Scottish and Irish heritage -- several family members either having an anglicized version of a Scottish/Irish first name or surname.

We are strongly considering giving our child a Gaelic name. Our top three contenders if it's a girl are Saoirse, Ealasaid, and Marsaili. Two of the boys names we like are less difficult for an English speaker to pronounce -- Eamon and Seòras -- but the other one, Eoghan, might confuse some people.

I DO strongly believe we should give them an English-friendly middle name, think Ealasaid Rose (we haven't gotten that far yet lol), so that they have another name to fall back on if they need it. Husband is on board with this.

My MIL and my sister, however, think that this would be horribly cruel even with the middle name thing and insist we HAVE TO give them a "normal" first name -- Elizabeth instead of Ealasaid, for example. Neither me nor my husband like the way Elizabeth sounds (nor any of its diminutives), and the same goes for Sarah instead of Saoirse and Marjory instead of Marsaili (Marge just makes me think of the Simpsons). The same goes for the boy's names.

MIL has gone so far as to say she will call them by the English equivalent and will make Husband's younger siblings do the same. I told her that's a one-way ticket to No Visits Town, which she handled as well as you'd imagine.

So, WWBTA for giving our baby a Gaelic name? ######

Response: NTA but get ready to spend your kids life correcting people, and get ready to possibly have your kid decide to go by the English equivalent once they get to school, so I would make sure you are ok with the English equivalent. ######


Prompt: My sisters plays sports. Whenever she gets home from a game or practice she just comes in and lays on the couch for awhile. She never showers immediately. That’s a personal choice. The problem is that for days afterwards when you sit where she was sitting or attempt to use the blanket she did, it smells like straight BO. IMO if she’s not going to be hygienic and shower afterwards, she shouldn’t be allowed to be on the couch. Obviously, I’m not talking about sitting down to take her shoes off or anything, I mean for a decent amount of time. If she wants to lay or sit on her bed and blankets and they smell like BO, fine, go ahead. I just don’t think it’s fair that we all have to sit somewhere that is covered in her dry sweat and odors. It’s a shared space. I think I may be the asshole for asking her because it might come off as bossy or over controlling. I’m worried it’s not actually a big enough deal to bring up. I just think it’s unhygienic and inconsiderate. ######

Response:
 NTA but get a large blanket and drape the couch. That’s what I do with a sweaty husband and kids. It’s easy to wash and the couch remains less smelly.

I would talk to you parents about it so they can address it thiugh ######


Prompt: I pay for my own Hulu account and I let my mom watch tv on it which is fine because that’s my mom. I was at my boyfriends and signed in on my account on the tv in his room, but his sister took the tv into her room and has been using my account. I found out because I was looking at my watch history and there were a bunch of shows I don’t watch on it. I asked my boyfriend and he said she took the tv today. Am I the asshole for removing the tv from my device history? She’s been complaining and texting me to let her use it again. Calling me selfish and how she just wants to watch tv because she’s bored. Mind you she’s 17 with no job and always is asking me for favors. I don’t feel bad but she texted me a long message about how the tv went out while she was in the middle of the show. This happened once before on the downstairs tv and his mom wanted me to sign in for her so she could finish her show because she didn’t want to pay for her own account...I didn’t. I don’t feel like an asshole and my boyfriend said it’s not a big deal, but she keeps bugging me to let her back on. I don’t think I’m selfish or stingy. I work my own job and can afford it. ######

Response: NTA but for conflict avoidance I'd fudge and say you needed to log in on your phone so hit the device maximum ######


Prompt:
To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it.

In contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor.

whenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later.

Am I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######

Response: NTA but dont talk avout your savings and salary anymore with your family. They dont understand. ######


Prompt:
(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, but english is not my mother tongue)

So... Our new neighbors that are from China have just moved to the flat in front of us and invited my family and I to have a wonderful dinner to get acquaintance and to eat some of their traditional food after my dad gave them a fruit basket as a “welcome-gift” with our local fruits... My sister didn’t went because “she doesn’t like asians, and its because of them that we have pollution, illnesses, and overpopulation”, and the typical racist speech of a closed minded person... once we ate dinner and had a good time, they gave us a dish called “mantou” with different shapes and forms... i recall one of them was with the shape of a flower and a piggy...! And also some Sake.... My mom, dad and I were so eager and happy to eat them the morning after and to share it with my sister...and my grandparents that were gonna visit us the day after...

Once we got home and told her what they gave us... She proceed to DROP THE DISHES AND THE DRINK IN THE TRASH...! Saying “oh. I dont want any of those things here in the house”, and a bunch of racial slurs i don’t wanna mention here... i got so mad and called her an entitled racist bitch. How dare she do that to people who she doesn’t even know and that’s giving us food as a gift...! Later my mom heard that and started to takes sides with my sister, that I shouldn’t have called her that and that “she haves her reasons”. We had a big argument after that and told me to “apologize” to my sister for what i said. But i told my mom that i am not apologizing until my sister personally apologized to our neighbors explaining what she did. Then my mom told me that i am a selfish brother, that i don’t care about my sisters feelings... so AITA?

Edit: no... we didn’t had this dinner meanwhile the  pand. emic happens, this dinner happened a month ago. While here in my country (ecuador) we were with zero cases of it.!! (Just explaining) ######

Response: Nta but don't tell the neighbours, they don't know what she did and it  will only hurt them ######


Prompt: So when I moved in with my roommate it was agreed that everything would be split 50/50, rent, utilities all that. So he decided in the middle of the lease that he wanted to move out and buy a house with his gf. While we had agreed to wait until the end of the lease, two days after that conversation he announced he put a deposit down and was going to move out. This meant breaking the lease and having to pay a the penalty. While i did get blindsided I agreed that i would pay half of the fee in an effort to save what is left of our friendship of 3 years. On top of the penalty we got charged damages that were all in his bedroom because of his cats. I told him that I wasn’t going to pay for damages in his room as I wouldn’t expect him to pay for damages in mine. Now he is acting like I broke the 50/50 agreement and has an attitude because I won’t pay for his damages. Let me tell you the room is gonna have some major deep cleaning done before they can rent to apartment again. We are talking hundreds of dollars of work that needs to be done. Meanwhile I have been fronting money for the utilities, he still owes me them for May and is saying that he won’t pay for the June utilities because he moved out. AITA for not paying for damages in my exroomates bedroom? ######

Response: NTA but don't expect to keep your roommate as a friend after, he's an asshole ######


Prompt:
So I'm using a throwaway because my husband knows my main and my grammar maybe bad because I'm extremely upset

So background info i live next door to my in laws there's been some issues but my husband works with his dad and my daughter (4) thinks were her grandparents walk the sun shines so it's not all bad that's until my SIL and her son (7) moved in with her parents because she's having marriage problems rn

I'm gonna be honest the kid is a bully and a spoiled brat I don't wanna go into too much details because of the rules but my poor kid life has been miserable since he came she'll literally be playing in her own backyard minding her business when he'll start being nasty to her so obviously when she starts crying her nana,aunt and uncles will tell her it's her fault in some way and call her a cry baby. Her aunt will make a snarky remark at how my daughter is a trouble maker or laugh it off with the whole "Boys will be boys" than rub her stomach and say the kids are giving her blood pressure

My SIL has been just as bad yelling at her for nothing, banning her for playing with her own toys because it might make her son jealous than throwing a fit if my daughter looks at her kids stuff. She's always been an attention seeker she made my wedding about her we couldn't post a wedding picture because she was going through "issues" with her husband even tho she's 30 her mom treats her like a baby

My husband has been no help he says she's having problems and I should cut her some slack because she's 3 months pregnant even tho I his wife is due to give birth in two weeks!!

I'm sick of everyone enabling her and treating her like a child So WIBTA if I confronted her about her shitty behaviour or just banned all in laws from my home till their attitude changes ######

Response:
 NTA but don't bother confronting your in laws or your SIL.  Just say they shouldn't come over to your home and keep your daughter away from them.

And probably consider exactly how much of this is a problem with your husband not supporting you. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS.

My boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.

When he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.

The reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.

He said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush.

Either way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants.

Anyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######

Response: NTA but damn his masculinity is literally so fragile that it is challenged by a pink tooth brush? That is fabregé egg levels of fragile. ######


Prompt:
The weather's finally starting to get good again and I'm bored out of my freaking mind stuck at home. At the very least I've figured I can get a quick tan on and enjoy the sun. We're lucky to have a backyard and a small jacuzzi, and I've taken full advantage of both aspects in the last few days. I hate tan lines, and so does my husband, so I happen to spend time in various states of undress when I'm getting my sun on.

When chatting with the neighborhood moms, I happened to say I loved that I could sunbathe outside now with a drink and I've got a perfectly good excuse to do it, which is fresh air and getting out of the house. A luxury in these times, I know.

Almost immediately I got a snide remark from one of them suggesting that I hopefully have enough sense to do it "with decency" because all the neighborhood kids are now indoors and my backyard might not be as private as I think. Like wtf! She even had the gall to suggest I was setting a bad example for my teenage daughter. Like yikes.

I'm this close to sending out a blast on the group passive aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times.

AITA here or is my anger justified? ######

Response: NTA but be wary. There was a post on here yesterday in which OP's dad was totally fine with letting his teenage son sit at the attic window watching the neighbor gal sunbathe in her backyard. ######


Prompt: So... my MIL who is temporarily wheelchair bound came to live with us 4 weeks ago to recover from surgery. She is usually a heavy smoker. I do not smoke and I hate it with a passion. Her health means she should not be smoking at all. I am taking her to all her appointments and providing food and care etc. Basically anything she needs I do and buy. So tonight I come home from work and I can smell stale  cigarettes. The room she is occupying (my teenage daughter's room which she gave up and is bunking with her much younger sisters) has French doors that so think she is opening up thinking the smell will 'blow away' when all it does is blow straight back I to the house. I had suspected she was smoking outside when I'm at work which is just stupid because she is screwing up her recovery which means longer with me and more appointments for me to take her to but now smoking inside... my house in my daughter's room... and she knows I hate it. Knowing there is no way I would say that is okay. Am I the asshole for being so fucking angry that I want her to get out of my house. Wheelchair or no wheelchair. If she can't respect the way I live then she shouldn't be in my house. So what are your opinions please? I'm so mad. ######

Response: NTA but ask her to stop first with the consequence that she must leave if she continues. ######


Prompt:
I live in a suburban subdivision, it's a relatively wealthy area and people can be a little uptight about their houses and be kind of busy bodies.

I just graduated high school and am living with my parents over the summer until college. My parents and brother fight a lot. With each other in different combinations, or with all three of them. They are all very hot tempered and all can be pretty crazy and escalate things to a bad degree. It sucks being quarantined with them. Sometimes they even yell late into the night or early in the morning so I don't get sleep. Like they do not know how to shelve something for later, if they have a disagreement starting around midnight they will stay up and yell for literally hours

Not to mention my brother got a girl pregnant and she and the baby are over more often than not recently. He and she don't get along well, and the baby cries like babies do. So that's just another reason I can't get any sleep sometimes

I've taken to driving my car elsewhere in the neighborhood and sleeping in the back. My car's back seats fold down flat and I put a matress and blankets in there.

It's legal for me to park in the streets of the subdivision, I have a residential parking pass. And it's not against the law to sleep in the car where I live. But some of my neighbors have gotten mad at me over it. Five different people, because I park in a different place every time, have told me that I can't do it. Some of the reasons they give is that I am parking too close to their houses, that it is not safe for a young lady to do this, that it makes their families uncomfortable to have a person in a strange car outside at night.

I've told them that I have the parking permit that lets me park there and I'm not doing anything but sleeping. And they're not really been okay with that. Saying that I still can't be doing that.

WIBTA if I still sometimes took naps or slept in my car in my neighborhood? ######

Response:
 NTA but as a paranoid person, I can understand why they may be a bit weirded out by it. Never the less, you gotta do what you gotta do. Check to make sure that it's legal in your county / city: some may have laws about sleeping / parking overnight while not on a lot.

Even in quarantine, you should ask a friend or possible other close relative to stay with for awhile. Sleeping in your car is not a long term solution and it sound like your home situation is not going to get any better any time soon.

Good luck and stay safe out there. ######


Prompt:
So there is this trend on tiktok where girls put on the snapchat filter that makes you look like a man and see if it looks like their dad and then show a picture of him. I did that trend except instead of showing a picture of him I put an empty room.

It's a joke since I haven't seen my father at all since I was 6. I'm 17 now. I have reached out to my half-siblings and step-siblings and talk to them. I tried to reach out to my dad by asking them for his phone number from my siblings but he won't let them give me it.

I hate that he's absent but joking around about it makes me feel better. I want to post it because I think it's funny and think that my friends will find it funny. But my stepsis has a good relationship with him and it might piss her off. But she also has no idea how it feels to have an absent father.

WIBIA?

Also I'm aware a lot of y'all think Tiktok is stupid. I used to too but quarantine turned me into a Tiktok addict. ######

Response:
 NTA but also that sounds hilarious to see.

I'm glad you've got a sense of humour. If anyone says anything or that the sperm donor has an issue you should invite him to sit down and discuss it... See how he reacts to that ha! ######


Prompt:
Posting from a throwaway. So I (21F) live with my  roommate “Bethany” (19F). Bethany is an extremely religious Christian and I’m an atheist. She has hung up tons of Bible verse/Christian decorations in the shared spaces of our apartment. The other week I asked if she could keep them out of the common areas, as I’m an atheist and have had some trauma with organized religion growing up and would rather not see reminders of that every day. Bethany took this as a evidence that she’s being persecuted for her faith, and refused to take anything down.

We’re now pretty much stuck in the apartment together because of coronavirus, and it’s getting worse. Yesterday she overheard me saying some sexy things on FaceTime with my girlfriend (I was in my room) and later passive aggressively made a comment about how God can “heal” all sorts of “sinners.” I didn’t even know what to say. She left to go get groceries and while she was gone I printed out pictures of Satan, pentagrams, etc. and hung them all over the common spaces. When she came back she freaked out, started crying and accused me of bringing demons into the apartment.

I feel bad for making her cry and causing more tension, but I also feel like it’s warranted after how pushy and homophobic she’s been.

(I signed a lease for a new apartment with a more compatible roommate but that doesn’t start until August, so I have to tough out the next few months here.) ######

Response:
 NTA but a better option is to print out bible verses that are awful and replace hers slowly.

Example:
"And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me; Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins. And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." (Leviticus 26:27–29 King James Version) ######


Prompt:
I (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.

am i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######

Response: NTA Bro. So much NTA. My dad wasn't at my wedding and neither were any of my husbands family. You just need people there that make you happy. ######


Prompt:
Me and my sister (both 17, I'm her brother) made an agreement one day when my parents weren't home. I'd invite whatever friend I have that my sister thinks is the hottest, and she'd invite whatever friend of her's that I think is the hottest. Then we'd all go skiny dipping. It was mostly so we could see someone we each find hot naked, and possibly we'd each hook up with that person after.

We invited them over, all went skiny dipping, and then got out. She hooked up with my friend and I hooked up with her friend in each of our bedrooms. My sister is open with her mom about sexuality so she told my mom all of this. My mom was cool with it until she realized me and my sister went skiny dipping together. Our parents think its very weird and inappropriate for me and my sister to skiny dip together and see each other naked.

Neither of us cared and we focused on the other people in the pool. My parents are really mad, but only because me and my sister skiny dipped with each other and were nude in front of each other. ######

Response: NTA bit weird but as long as everyone was okay with it, its acceptable. ######


Prompt:
To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me.

So I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early.

He continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a "happy birthday" before he settled into grumpy mode.

AITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ######

Response: NTA birthday or not there was no reason to yell and the alarm was going off anyway he should set his alarm to when HE wants to wake. And I suggest you not wake him next time. ######


Prompt:
2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family.

My friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates.

The problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that.

Sofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA better have someone check now and then. She's the type to break in and squat ######


Prompt: My cousin, who we will call Lia, is from America, her mother married my uncle, yeah yeah. Shes a cousin now. She's 14. And shes obsessed with Asian culture. She often talks about Korean culture and all she listens to is Kpop. She doesn't really respect me or my family (Important: we're from Thailand). She often asks me about Korean music (Which I don't listen to) and i'm beginning to think she thinks I'M Korean? She gets excited when I talk to her and asks about Korean culture and tells me little "facts" about Korea. Last night I was calling her, and she went on and on about Korea, I barely spoke at all. Eventually I asked her if we could talk about something else, she ignored me. I had a major headache and snapped at her, I told her to move on with her unhealthy obsession. She got choked up and ended the call and I've been feeling guilty all day. Her Mother sent a long text about how I "hurt her" and should "mind my own business". AITA? ######

Response: NTA because you’re not an asshole for not wanting her to be ignorant and ask random Asian people about Korea when they literally don’t live there, have never lived there, or aren’t Korean ######


Prompt:
My parents (60M and 58F) went camping over the weekend, so they asked me (27M) to housesit while they were away. Basically, I just had to water the houseplants, make sure everything was in order, and they told me to make myself comfortable. My parents also have a sweet outdoor pool. The weather was especially nice on Saturday, so I decided I’d take a dip in the pool. I forgot to bring my swimsuit and I didn’t feel like dealing with the traffic just to go back to my place to get it, so I ended up skinny dipping. My parents are pretty chill, so i didn’t think it would be a problem. The rest of the weekend went by pretty quickly and it was calm and uneventful. I left on Monday and my parents seemed satisfied with the state of the house.

I got a call on Tuesday from my mom saying that her neighbors left an angry note in her mailbox, because apparently they have windows overlooking the pool and the neighbors kids “saw a man swimming with no clothes on.” The neighbors accused me of deliberately exposing myself to children and potentially traumatizing them. My mom told me that she wasn’t bothered by me skinny dipping, but she said that she doesn’t want her neighbors on her back and told me not to do it in the future. However, I’m not convinced I did anything wrong and maybe those neighbors should use this to teach their kids why snooping is wrong. So Reddit, what do you think? AITA? ######

Response: NTA because you didn’t know they were watching you but you WBTA if you did it again after your mom said not to. ######


Prompt: I (23M) will be turning 24 this Wenesday and my gf (24F) of 3 years wanted to suprise me by taking me away to the outer banks this weekend for 1 day (leave after work thursday and come back friday night).  This is a 3 hour trip one way and the weather is supposed to rain both days with a high chance.  I called her today after she suprised me yesterday with the plans and told her with the virus still rampant and bad weather, that just wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off that i took for my birthday.  This weekend i have to help her parents build a deck so this day off is honestly a short amount of time for me to celebrate which i honestly want to drink beer, play old school runescape and watch movies with her at home where it's safe. After telling her how thoughful the gift was i told her i wanted a raincheck for better conditions when we could really enjoy it, when restaurants reopened and nicer weather. She was hurt and said we still could've had fun and now i feel like AH.  So AITA? ######

Response: NTA because you did the smart thing of asking to rearrange, not cancel, which shows that you like her idea just not the timing.  Of course she's upset.  She wanted to do something nice for you and, let's be honest, she's probably not quite so thrilled about spending the day drinking beer and playing Runescape. The moral of the story is don't book weekends away as a surprise. ######


Prompt:
My 8yo daughter has been staying at my Ex's for the past fortnight. We have a shared custody arrangement and she enjoys staying over there  as my Ex's wife also has a daughter several years older who she looks up to. Depsite being long separate, I would say the arrangement had previously being working well given the circumstances.

Unfortunately, things turned for the worst when I went to pick up my daughter last Friday night. I had discovered that my daughter had gotten her ears pierced without my permission. She already had her ears pierced once before and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she was wearing 3 earrings on one ear and 5 on the other including one up in the cartilage. Initially I thought they must have been magnet earrings or something but then I saw the earring posts at the back of her ears and they were indeed all pierced.

I asked my Ex's wife who was present how did this happen and she said that her daughter wanted her ears pierced again and my daughter wanted the same. Apparently she had a piercing gun and they did it at home. She was going on how my daughter was so brave getting this done. I went off at her and said that it may be o.k for her daughter who is in her early teens but my daughter is way too young and what was she thinking. I also said the least they could have done is call me first and that I will be reconsidering custody arrangements now. My Ex's wife responded by saying that her father was o.k with it and they didn't need my permission.

When we got home I removed the earrings from my daughter's ears. This upset her as she wanted them to remain. She is now asking to go back to her father's place to stay. AITA here or was my reaction justified? ######

Response: NTA because WOAH?! an at home piercing gun?!!! it’s dangerous to pierce any part of your cartilage with a gun and 5 at once is a LOT for an 8 year old????? Five piercings needs VERY frequent cleaning for at least three months!! and she might have sleeping troubles now due to the soreness!!! ######


Prompt:
Sorry for eventual errors: English is not my first language.

I (16F) live with my parents and my older sister (20F). I'm an average looking person: I'm tall 160cm, and my weight is 52 Kg (so, pretty normal: I'm not overweight -important to the story-), I have dark and curly hair, I mostly wear band shirts or movie shirts, and don't really wear makeup, except for eyeliner, and black lipstick sometimes.

Anyway, for the past 5 years, my mother always criticized everything I did with my appearance: she thinks my curly hair is ugly (... it's just my natural hair, and I love it), she thinks I don't wear enough makeup, she thinks I should dress more ladylike (hey, my Rammstein T-Shirt is as ladylike as I want it to be), etc...

The fact is, the thing she has criticized the most, is my weight. She always tells me how I should improve myself by, well, being the exact opposite of who I am, but she also wants me to exercise, so I can lose weight, because she thinks I'm too fat and that no one will like me if I keep being like this (my boyfriend strongly disagrees however).

But I DON'T WANT to lose weight, or modify my appearance in any way. It took years to me to love me as who I am. I love my hair, I love my face, I love my body and I love my weight (I actually gained more confidence in my appearance after gaining a little more weight, since I was 12).

I tried to talk to her about this many, many times, telling her I like myself as who I am, and I don't want to change, but everytime she just gets angry at me, saying that I am lazy and I just don't want to exercise, and that I should try and improve myself as any girl at my age. This has been going on for 4 years.

So AITA for not improving myself? ######

Response:
 NTA Because what your mom says is self improving, may already be the way you want to be, so there's nothing to improve if you are happy how you are. I will say, wow... 52 kilo at 160cm? That's actually quite slim.... what does she want you to do, disappear?

On the exercise thing, though... exercise isn't just to lose weight, and you could still benefit from it, but her logic is super flawed. You do you, and it's okay to just say " Ich hab' keine Lust" to what other people say you should do ;) ######


Prompt:
My gf and even her friends would make a big deal when we started dating that i never posted pictures of her as i don’t use social media often, and she would ask constantly why i never wanted to post any. I post pictures of her frequently now, post her on Snapchat stories every week, and she is in my profile picture for most social media’s.

Now it’s been almost a year and she still has no pictures of me on any platform online and there’s little trace of me existing in her life online (even though we live together). I even asked her about it since she made such a big fuss that i post about her.

I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for being upset that after this long there’s still no pictures of us together on her social media, especially since guys message and try to flirt with her all the time, even people who used to be my friends in highschool. ######

Response:
 NTA because this is just strange. If social media matters to her enough to want to be on yours, it would only make sense that she would want such a major part of her life on hers. However, some things that might affect the situation:

Does she post frequently? Is it less/more frequently than you? If you posted a snap story 3x a day and she posts 2x a month, it might make sense that she would see you leaving her out as more significant than her leaving you out.

Also, what sort of things does she tend to post? Does she have an aesthetic and primarily post pics that fit a color scheme, or just selfies, or just pictures of her outfits/cooking/crafts etc? If she primarily posts pictures of her homemade pies, it makes sense again that she might not have pics of you up.

Finally, do people know you're together? Does she shut down flirters with "nope i have a bf" and "op is my bf"? do her family and friends know about/hang out with you and her together?

I think you're NTA and you need to have a discussion about this, but depending on the way each of you use social media, this could be a less serious/deep situation than it seems. ######


Prompt:
I’m not a tech guy but I know more than anyone in my family and whenever there is a hiccup I am called to fix it.  I was full on asleep when my oldest brother yelled for me to wake up.  When I got out the WiFi wasn’t working and he basically demanded I fix it’s. I wasn’t looking for a fight and I just humored him.

It wasn’t working and I got more annoyed then my other brother said I’m doing it all wrong and basically pushed me out of the way while he worked on it (he doesn’t know anything about tech) and then my other brother tried to fix it.  They both were struggling and were getting more mad, I told them to just let me deal with it.  But when they were both done trying they both BLAMED ME for not fixing it.

(This is where I maybe TA) I said “I WAS fixing it till you 2 assholes pushed me out of the fucking way.  You know what?  Fuck you both you always pull this shit.”

I then put on my shoes and went for a walk, when I got back the WiFi was working again.  But my brothers were all passive aggressive towards me which really pissed me off but I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to start anything.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA because they woke you up for this.

Under other circumstances that might’ve been a bit harsh but you were being exceptionally nice, they had no right to wake you up to troubleshoot the internet. If it’s that urgent they can learn to fix it themselves. ######


Prompt:
In my family, my mom does most of the chores and I (16F) am the one that helps her. Although I do enjoy doing some of them, it gets really annoying that my brother (18M) does literally nothing. He won't even grab a glass of water by himself.

My parents use as an excuse the fact that my brother is taking his exams this year that will determine where he goes for college. Still, he doesn't study all day, he actually takes long breaks and I don't think that 2-minute chores would waste his "precious" time.

The other day, during dinner, I made a "sexist" joke and my brother got mad because "if a guy had said it, I would've been furious". And as a matter of fact, some of my guy friends constantly make sexist jokes and I don't take them seriously, as long as they're funny and do not harm anyone in any way.

After that, my father and my brother started calling me a "typical feminist that wants equal rights, but not equal responsibilities". They even said that I'd never work a job that is mostly targeted towards men. They continued to shame me and wouldn't let me speak, so I got mad and left the table.

Some days later, I started talking during dinner about how I want to become a psychiatrist (I have for the past 2 years). They proceeded to tell me that it's not a job for a woman and that it's dangerous etc. I really don't understand how they're thinking.

Anyway, WIBTA if I told them how I feel and that they're sexist and unfair? ######

Response: NTA because they are. Can’t be a psychiatrist because you are a woman!?!? I have had 8 and 6 of those where women ######


Prompt:
The title probably makes this seem like such a petty argument but to me it’s really getting old. So I’ve (18f) been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months now. I love him but there are times that I want to pull my hair out. These are those stories.

So, a big part of our bond is that we game together. Usually on our Ps4’s and it’s great, he’s my best friend. But lately he’s made a habit of joining my ps4 parties and grilling the guys I’m playing with. He mentions the fact that he’s my boyfriend like 10 fucking times in one sentence. The other day we were doing squads on Fortnite and some 9 year old told me I had a pretty voice and he FLIPPED and made this kid cry. And when I play games without him he checks my recent players and messages them, asking why they were talking to me. He texted and asked my *uncle* who he was and what I said to him because he wasn’t aware it was him. It’s so overbearing and so annoying so I got fed up and we got into an argument about it. I told him what I thought, that he was being overbearing and annoying. I feel bad about it now though, like I get it, he’s insecure because of his past relationships but fuck. Nobody is going to fall in love with me on my playstation. AITA for freaking out on him about it even though he’s just insecure ? ######

Response:
 Nta because that’s pretty controlling behaviour. Relationships are based on trust, and as far as I know you haven’t shown him you can’t be trusted so there is no reason for him to be like this.

I don’t think it’s just insecurity. It’s controlling and extreme jealousy. ######


Prompt:
this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food.

so i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.

when the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off "she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.

like.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?

aita for skipping the line? ######

Response: NTA because that’s literally how using the app and ordering online is supposed to work. Most of these apps even quite literally use “skipping the line” as a reason why you should use them. ######


Prompt: My goal is to be debt free as soon as possible so I can save for retirement. I want to pay down debt. I’m 40f and my wife who is also 40 wants to send her kids/my step kids to pretty expensive summer camps. We get absolutely no help from the kids father. I do pay for some stuff for the kids but I really don’t feel like I’m obligated to bend over backwards spending money on them. AITA? ######

Response: NTA because summer camps shouldn't even be open right now. Also dropping a few thousand on costly summer camps when you have a pile of unsecured debt is really just not smart. ######


Prompt:
AITA? Last night a girl I don't know very well posted on social media asking if anyone had a specific converter for connecting a DSLR camera to a computer for sale. Price was her big concern.  I happen to be a professional photographer/videographer and I've made this type of connection hundreds of times with and without the converter she was looking. This is literally the field I worked in for 15+ years.

I sent her a message that pretty much just said "Hey! That specific converter is a bit pricey, you might want to consider a couple free/cheap alternatives that don't require a converter. I'd be happy to help you get it set up." She said that she didn't think it would work because of her camera and I just said "I thought the same with mine too but that camera works just fine with this software" and sent her a couple links to the software then thought nothing more of it.

Very soon after I answered her questions she made a post that was definitely targeted at me about "mansplaining" technology to her. Am I the asshole here? Did I do something wrong? ######

Response: NTA because she was asking for advice and you are an expert in that field. "Mansplaining" would be like if she posted how she's a professional photographer and you took it upon yourself to explain cameras to her. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 18, and I’ve always considered myself to be an open-minded parent. She recently began discussing birth control, and even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I wanted to be supportive. I bought her condoms, at her request, and I thought that would be the end of it.

A week ago, she asked me if I would make and accompany her to an appointment to discuss birth control options. I was raised in the era where AIDS was still a major threat, and I firmly believe that, unless you are in a monogamous relationship, you should use condoms.

I was hesitant, but I agreed in the condition that she promised she would also use conforms. She got really defensive and said that that choice wasn’t up to me. I told her that she was right, but that my involvement was my choice, and it was based on this condition. I said she was more than free to get birth control on her own.

She’s been really mad at me because of it. She says that her anxiety is too bad to make an appointment on her own. I still haven’t caved. AITA for staying firm in my decision? ######

Response: NTA because she is old enough to go to the doctor herself. She should probably discuss her anxiety with a doctor as well. You aren't preventing her from going to the doctor, you just aren't babying her by doing it for her. She really needs to learn how to take care of her own health now. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I (15F) know the title sounds misleading, but please read through the whole post.

My aunt (we'll call her Sarah, 54F) is a very sweet person. She's been a "cool aunt", the one who gives us candy while we were kids, etc.

But as we grew up we kinda saw all her toxic traits, like holding children to unexpectable levels, bossing us around, being a bit racist (she wants my sister, who is a gorgeous brown black colour to put on a lot of whitening things, doesn't want anyone in our family to marry a guy/girl who is black, etc.)

So during quarantine, around the beginning of summer, we found that she had a non malignant tumor in her small intestine, and she underwent surgery in the area where I'm staying. She normally stays in another state, but now stays with us for some time.

Now, there's a kinda miraculous thing: there was no tumor, just a growth, which they scraped out, but now she's resting at home.

Now, most of the time I like having her around, and I love her, but she's bossing me around, making me clean every place, over feeding me (actually overfeeding me) and that was all kinds okay, but the last straw was when she would keep calling me to clean, to study (it's summer vacation) and when I complained of back pain (I'm having my periods) she completely brushed me off, saying little kids don't have anything like that, I'm [Sarah] the one who has pain, etc.
I felt really bad because she was invalidating my pain.

So I told her that even teenagers feel pain and things like that. I was actually yelling, and then my mom screamed at me because she says that Sarah is a patient and things like that. I don't really feel terrible, because each and every second of the first two months of summer were spent in taking care of Sarah and my dad (who's diabetic and has trunkal neuropathy.) I just feel like I don't get a second to myself. Also, I cook the meals along with my sister here.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA because she does not have any sympathy with you and others ######


Prompt:
I know I probably sound like a brat so I'll try to keep it short. My older sister passed away recently. She was heading to her dream university in the fall. She was very sweet and hard working. She's worked fast food for years and barely spent her money on anything besides gas and insurance. She was part of our state's future educators club with dreams of being a teacher since she was little.

I'm 15 and I like writing but I don't know what my back up plan is. I do want to go to college. In the past, my parents have made me feel like a disappointment for not having things figured out like my sister did.

When they announced that they were going to use her savings as a one time "scholarship" for a person in our area who wants to be teacher, I thought it was a sweet idea but I asked my parents if they wouldn't mind setting it aside for my future. My mother said that they felt that helping someone like my sister was the best way to honor her since "I'm not even sure you could get into a college that would need that much money". This felt like a slap in the face and I told her so. She said that she was just being realistic. ######

Response: NTA because of your mother being a complete asshole with that comment. Doing a scholarship as a way to honor her memory isn't an inherently bad thing, but the way she handled telling you she wouldn't set it aside for you was absolutely horrid. ######


Prompt:
So I'm a closeted trans guy. My family doesn't know and hopefully won't until I move out. My sister is slowly losing her hair to illness (for the sake of privacy I will leave out many details) and will eventually need a wig as it thins.

 My mother has asked me to grow out my hair so that we can get a wig made for my sister, as she is greying and my father has super thin hair. However, I'm extremely uncomfortable with growing out my hair, I've kept it short for the past 6 years of my life and  sensory issues make it hard for me to deal with hair when it can touch my ears. Keeping it short helps me feel more masculine as well.

I feel really selfish for refusing because I've always been told that my hair is super nice, and that I should feel ashamed for getting rid of so much of my nice hair because my sister doesn't have that. AITA?

EDIT
thanks for the responses, apparently my sister wasn't consulted and said that it's cool if I'm unwilling to donate. thanks again all.

EDIT NO.2
After discussing the fact that it would take many years for my hair to reach the appropriate length and the fact I would be uncomfortable with having my hair so long my mother said it was alright and that she was thankful I thought about it either way. Thank you for all the help. 💙 ######

Response: NTA because it wouldn't work anyway.  [We require a minimum of 8 ounces of hair in order to build a custom wig. Very rarely does one person have enough hair to make a wig. We find it usually takes 2-3 heads of hair in order to meet our weight requirement.](https://compassionatecreationswigdesign.com/make-a-wig-from-your-own-hair/#:~:text=The%20Process,to%20meet%20our%20weight%20requirement.) ######


Prompt:
So basically what the title says but I will give you more details. Members of my family think AITA because I've requested that they only call me before 11am or after 8pm. Why? Because my boyfriend works 10pm to 7:00AM and I follow his schedule. I don't work because I am disabled and by following his schedule I get to spend more then an hour or 2 with him. And I don't want to turn my ringer on my phone off just in case there is an emergency. I don't get any other phone calls except from my family and a couple friends. Hell even my doctors offices have mainly followed my request. They only call me after 11AM if there something major they need to talk to me about. And my friends have all agreed to respect my request. However members of my family think I'm being completely unreasonable and think if they want to call me they can. And I said if they do I will just block their number because I don't want to disturb my boyfriend while he is asleep. I've told all of them there is absolutely nothing so important that can't wait until 8pm to call. And its not like any of them go to bed before then. I've told them to text me (I have my notifications on silent) asking me to call them when I wake up and I'll call them back.

I'm just not seeing why this is such a horrible request. If I'm in the wrong can someone people point it out to me. Thanks ######

Response: NTA because it seems like a reasonable request, but what about just putting the phone on vibrate and don't answer it? ######


Prompt:
I was walking into this grocery store and there was an ~18 year old guy and his girlfriend walking in in front of me. I'm 10 paces behind them when he starts scratching at his b-hole. He looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me, but I'm so embarrassed for him that I pretend to be looking just past him and he thinks I didn't see.

I continue walking in behind them and they grab a cart and go toward the fruit/veggie area which is unfortunately where I'm going.

Then it happens. This guy, with his girlfriend on his right, takes his left hand and puts it DOWN HIS PANTS TO THE MID FOREARM and digs in his cheeks for 3-5 seconds. And then he just takes his hand out and continues toward the beef/chicken.

I walk around the other side to make up the distance between us so that I don't have to yell across the store and I say, "Hey man, I just saw you put your hands on your pants... I just need you to wash your hands. "

To my total surprise, he pretended like I was crazy. I expected him to be completely crushed by embarrassment. He kept saying 'Dude, what's your problem?' to which I kept saying 'Dude, just go wash your hands, this is over'. The girlfriend, who I don't think actually thought her boyfriend would do that, convinced the guy to tell them manager. So I ended up having to tell the manager around everybody at checkout that this guy dug his bare hand in his cheeks in the veggie section.

TL;DR   Guy had his bare hand scratching his b-hole in grocery store and I called him out (to wash his hands) ######

Response: NTA because he shouldn't have been touching his butthole IN PUBLIC and then going to touch food. So gross. Ugh. ######


Prompt: This happened last year, but I've had it on my mind for a while lately and want an outside opinion. Last year, I found out I was pregnant and my husband (29M) and I (26F) were ecstatic. An important thing to note is that while we hadn't told some friends and acquaintances about the pregnancy, our immediate families/close friends were made aware after a couple weeks. One of the screenings came back with abnormal results, and after getting diagnostic tests done it was basically 99% confirmed that our baby had severe genetic disorders. If our child was born, it would almost definitely not be able to have a normal life and would need a full-time caretaker. My husband and I both work demanding jobs with long hours, and we live in a city with crazy rent prices that would make it unaffordable if one of us quit full-time for good. Also, as awful and selfish as it sounds, I was only 25 and deep down didn't want to spend the rest of my life caring full-time for a child that might never get to experience a full life. So we aborted the baby. According to both of our families and even some close friends, we're the worst people on the planet. My MIL accused us of trying to "forget" about the baby because some people still don't know I had been pregnant (I didn't have much of a belly at all and honestly just looked like I'd gained 10 extra pounds) and hasn't spoken to us in months, and my sister said that it's evil that we're still planning to try for another baby soon, and if I'd "just keep aborting" until I got a "normal kid". So, was I an asshole? My husband and I took the decision we thought would be the best for us, but I know it wasn't right to abort the baby just because of its problems it was definitely not an easy decision. ######

Response: NTA because abortion is up to the discretion of the mother. If anyone tells you that you’re a bad person for aborting, they’re just wrong. ######


Prompt:
Just wanted to preface this by saying that the shelter in my city is a no kill shelter and the cat has a tag with an address.

I have a huge issue with "outdoor" cats. Not only does it endanger the cat's life, it also leads to local wildlife getting killed for no reason at all.

The cat in question belongs to my neighbor across the street. I have called animal services every time I see the cat outside and she gets picked up.

My neighbor then has to pay $60 to get her out each time.

My neighbor is clearly frustrated and has sent numerous letters to everyone in the neighborhood, begging us not to call animal services.

I have now had the cat picked up 5 times.

I think only selfish assholes let their cats be "outdoor" cats, who have much lower lifespans than indoor cats by the way.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA based on your comment:

>Our city has a bylaw that doesn't allow outdoor cats because we have are nesting ground for a particular species of bird. But its only enforced if someone calls it in. ######


Prompt:
20M here. My brother (16) has been in online class since our state closed schools for the year. Usually, I didn’t really keep up with him on his school work despite the fact that I regularly get his grades sent to my email throughout the school year.

About two weeks ago I noticed on his report then that he was missing 1 assignment in one class and his grade was a D. I didn’t reproach him about it or tell our parents then because he doesn’t listen to me and figured he’d be responsible enough to turn that grade around.

Fast forward to yesterday, his most recent report had him failing 2 classes and missing 4 assignments between the two of them. Without really pondering on it, I took a screenshot and sent it to both my mom and my stepdad (his biological father). My mom flipped out on him and my stepdad called him too to scold him.

I didn’t say anything about it to him at all, but he’s not an idiot, he knows I sent it to them. He didn’t get angry at me for it (at least not to my face). As of now, neither my brother nor my stepdad are speaking to me, but my stepdad’s silence is probably attributed to a fight him and I had 3 days prior. I kind of feel bad for the reaction he got, but I don’t regret doing what I did. AITA?

EDIT: When he first transferred to this school, the office needed an email to add their messaging list. I’m the only one of the four of us who has an email address that regularly checks it so I put mine down. For context, my parents are immigrants and English is not their first language. I usually handle communications between the school and us. ######

Response:
 NTA based on the additional information that you provided, citing that you receive these updates because you’re the only one with an email address and your parents don’t speak English.

You’re simply a “middle man” for your parents to check up on your brother’s grades. However, I can see where he might feel a bit betrayed. Maybe you should check with his school to see if there are any resources available so you wouldn’t have to be in this situation.

As a side note, if these grades aren’t like him, I would check up on him to see how he’s handling everything. It could be a sign of a bigger issue or he may not be adjusting to online classes well. ######


Prompt:
My husband (34M) and I(33F) were invited to the wedding of childhood acquaintance of his. My husband's father works closely in the same industry as her father, and they are quite close. Probably another reason why we received an invitation. This wedding is taking place in a month, since our state has now allowed weddings under certain social distancing conditions.

My husband is from a close-knit community centered around their church and atttending associated church community events. We were invited to the wedding, but have never met the groom, talked to the bride in passing a few years ago, and do not attend church.

The couple in question are in their early 30s, have very well paying jobs (6-figures each), and have asked for about $25,000 in gifts and gift cards, not including "featured contributions" to buying land to construct a new home and pay for a lavish honeymoon.

I see this as a blatant cash grab, especially during a time when a lot of families are hurting financially. We are feeling pressure from my husband's family members to give them something due to "history." I'd rather donate a small amount to a worthy cause in their name, or just give nothing since my husband and I have no relationship with the couple. Full disclosure - the bride's parents gave us $200 when we got married a few years ago.

AITA for not wanting to give a wealthy couple money for their wedding? The pre-set amounts allow for $100 to be the smallest gift in either gift card or lowest-value of an item from their registry. ######

Response:
 NTA based on
1) The fact you say in comments you are not attending. I personally think it's nice to send a gift even if you are not attending, kind of like an apology I guess, but that would only be to people I know well, and it would be a much smaller gift.
2) Minimum gift s $100?! That's a dick move right there. Wanting money or creating a wish list is fine but you need to allow smaller amounts and put many low-value items - not everyone can afford to spend a lot. It's just rude and tone deaf to not realise that.

3) You don't actually know them well. In that case I think a card is fine.

Don't worry too much about it! They aren't close friends. If you want to look good and "save face" because they are from the same church as your family in law, you could give to a charity, get a nice certificate that doesn't say the amount and send it to them with the card? ######


Prompt:
Okay so the title sounds a little selfish but hear me out here

Im (16M) pretty much the baker of the house, my mom will occasionally, but only when I’m busy or not home. When I want to bake, or when my family is dropping hints they want something sweet, I ask my family what they want. Sometimes they give me something specific like cheesecake or cookies, sometimes they just let me have the creative freedom to make what I’m craving.

Now my sister (20F) doesn’t live with us but she does spend a lot of time at the house, she also happens to have celiacs/a gluten intolerance (I’m unsure which) and has tried to cut down on gluten. In turn she’s asked me to make gluten free desserts instead of the ones with gluten in them.

Here’s where the problem comes in, I don’t like the texture that the gluten free flours give the desserts, especially in things such as cakes. When it’s something made specifically for her, such as something specific she requests or something for her birthday, I’ll happily make it. When it’s something I want or someone else in my family wants I make it with normal flour.

My sister doesn’t like this because she can’t eat them, however whenever I ask her to make a request she only ever says something gluten free. I’m also hesitant to make her gluten free desserts freely because she doesn’t generally eat a lot of dessert because she is trying to watch her weight. And I don’t want the dessert to go waste.

So Reddit AITA for not making gluten free desserts all the time? ######

Response: NTA baking is a ton of work and all the ingredients get expensive. It is kind of you to be accommodating when she requests something but you should not have to make everything gluten free just because she may drop by and want a bite of something. ######


Prompt:
I don't live in America, so tipping culture doesn't exist here. There are many reasons for this but the biggest would be that our minimum wage isn't ridiculously low like in America.

I'm a part-time worker who isn't a frivolous person, but today I received a promotion in the mail by Uber Eats for $15 off your first spend (I wouldn't have ordered otherwise). As normally, it's $20 +$10 delivery. But with this voucher code, it was a much more reasonable $15. So I lashed out and treated myself.

Anyway, long story short. The driver got the wrong house and didn't bother to verify anyone by name. He just handed it over to my next-door neighbour. It wasn't until I called up that I found this out. Generally, most take-outs would offer some compensation over such a gaffe. Now I'm not saying I expected one but I did observe that Uber Eats seems quite unique in this. But they ended up assigning me the same driver (which is perfectly fine).

When he arrived I had to stand outside my house and flag him down so he didn't miss me. And then he came up to me and said in the little English he knew, *''App yes?...''*. And smiled at me. I didn't know what he meant but it seemed pretty straightforward so I just nodded and said yes (I assumed he was asking for some kind of review as I think Uber does that). Which I was more than happy to do. So I smile and nodded. And then he said, *''Don't forget nice tip yes yes''*.

And now I'm kind of at a loss. I now feel guilty because I know the man wants a tip. But I also only did this because of the promotion. And I'm also shocked by the audacity of him out-right asking for a tip... But I don't know. I guess I'll just leave it with you guys.

Am I an asshole if I don't tip this man? ######

Response: NTA Australia has a very high minimum wage and Aussie labour board throws out award rates like salt bae salting something. Tips are not a thing unless he delivered a baby whilst also delivering pizza. I would have had the most wtf look on me face if someone asked me for a tip. Also Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Go the maroons! ######


Prompt:
where im from,the wifi is generally trash. to get the good wifi,you need to pay more. my family decided to get the better one,which is still pretty bad,because we live outside the city.we moved here 2 years ago when our house was finished.our neighbors are really nice,as they let us use their electricity when we were constructing our house.we share the gas to,but the bill is shared.i should mention that when they need the gas,they shut OUR gas down so they get more gas.other than that,theyre cool i guess.about two weeks ago,they asked one of my sisters if they could get the password for the wifi,because their wifi is down.sis didnt reply and kept the other convo going,whatever it was (i wasnt there).the neighbors girl asked again,and being the non confrontational weirdo that my sister is,she gave them the password. now,i wouldnt really mind if it was one person using it,but their whole SEVEN person family is using it,which really kills the speed for us.i recently downloaded brawlhalla,and i cant even play it.i get like 100-200 kbps,which really doesnt help me play.i've considered changing the password but my sister and mother think i shouldnt,as theyre "helping us by sharing the gas".

WIBTA if i change the password for my wifi which i pay for so i can play games ######

Response:
 NTA at all

you pay for it so it’s yours.

and they shut off your gas when they want to use theirs, so why can’t you do the same?

you’re paying for a wifi you can’t use.

and the security risk of them having access to that wifi.

CHANGE THE PASSWORD ASAP DUDE ######


Prompt:
We are both 25. I'm a fat guy,  I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more.

I wear a 38" waist in jeans and an XL/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me.

She bought me jeans in a 28" waist and tops in a medium.

She told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me.

I mentioned once to her that when I was around 16/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.

She never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me "happy birthday you fat fuck" lol..

I think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway.

Our sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her.

I tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me.

Am i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ######

Response:
 NTA at ALL

it's badass that you are recovering and don't binge anymore literally like hell yeah dude that's fucking *amazing*. your body is NOT disgusting.

as someone with BED (and literally who just binged), i am so proud of you. i definitely know that i speak for mostly everyone when i say that we are all proud of you.

you deserve a partner that doesn't do this to you. you deserve a lot better. a whole lot better. ######


Prompt:
Fortunately no one was hurt, but my wife's brother totaled his 5th car in 2 years today. Two of those cars were sold to him by us. He never made another payment after wrecking them, and used the insurance money to buy another car instead.

Well today he ran a stale yellow and got t boned, totaling his new Pacifica. He called to ask if he could borrow my 2012 audi s4 until he can buy another car. I didn't even hesitate to say "no way dude, you'll kill yourself with that type of car". Five minutes later he calls my wife, begging to borrow her cherokee. I told her absolutely not, he'll wreck it and ruin our insurance rate.

Now my mother in law is trying to guilt me "He needs a car to get to his 3 jobs, they have 3 kids you know. You barely even use your car"

I lost it and said "it's not my fault he doesn't know what a fucking condom is, and he still owes us $7000 from the cars we sold him. He will wrap that 400hp audi around a pole in under 30 minutes, I wouldn't let him borrow a bicycle"

So now everyone's mad at me... Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA at all

\- Your brother-in-law has crashed FIVE cars.

\- He owes you THOUSANDS of dollars.

And he thinks he's entitled to YOUR cars. ######


Prompt: I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ######

Response:
 NTA at all.
My mom is the same way so I didn’t tell her I was pregnant until right before I announced it to everyone so she didn’t have a chance to spoil it.

And that “I’m grandma” excuse is such BS.

Congratulations! ######


Prompt:
My upstairs neighbors just (rudely) called me to come outside via intercom at 2am because I was cooking dinner and the smell woke them up.

I am a shift worker so I regularly cook at late hours of the morning, and they said that they have been woken up by it consistently for the last few months. Our apartments are quite small and only have doors/windows on one side to they get very stuffy when it’s locked up.

They “recommended” I keep everything closed up if I want to cook, but I’m using the oven the house does get really gross and I will eventually need to air it out. They said that if I kept it up that I should stop cooking entirely or they’ll put in a complaint. I told them I’ll be more aware of it and clean out my air filter but I’m not willing to change my schedule.

Am I the asshole? I’m not cooking anything exuberantly pungent (no curries or any intensely odorous spices) ######

Response:
 NTA at all.

That’s hilarious. It’s not the sound that wakes them up it’s the smell? What are they, bears? ######


Prompt:
Sounds terrible, I know, but hear me out.

My grandmother (GM) is 95 years old. She lives with my parents, who are both 70 years old. I (F43) live in the house next to them with my husband, kids and pets. Growing up, GM live with us as well and she was the torment of my childhood. She despised my mother and did her best to start arguments between us. She got me in trouble many times, hiding my things and lying about things I'd supposedly said and done to my parents. My mother despised her as well, but my father was too kind to kick her out. I was angry about this for many years, however, recently my anger has begun to thaw and I no longer care about her one way or the other. She's essentially a stranger.

For a pretty long time, she required little assistance from my parents. However, it is clear that she will not live much longer. She is completely bedridden and my poor parents have to take care of her almost 24/7. Time and time again, I have urged them to hire a caretaker to help them manage, since they need to take care of themselves as well. They refuse. I offered to pay for the caretaker and any additional related expenses. Still nothing.

However, my father wants me to help feed, dress and take care of my GM. For the obvious reason that I harbour no attachment or feelings towards her, I don't want to do this. Even if I did, I am working from home with two young children and a whole slew of pets and I simply cannot find the time to help them. Once again, I tried to convince them to hire a caretaker, because they obviously struggle on their own. They are adamant that they can handle it on their own. This has led to several schisms between us. My mother is somewhat on my side, however, my father is upset that I don't want to help take care of her. AITA for refusing to take care of my elderly grandmother? ######

Response:
 NTA AT ALL.

I’m a nurse bsn rn and taking care of someone is a full time job, LITERALLY. People who require intense care like this need someone from the outside to help usually, because otherwise the family will sooner or later become burnt out. The caregiver and “patient” family member will suffer because of it. People are always quick to hate on nursing homes and I totally understand why, a lot suck, you gotta look into them. But I have typically heard only good things about at home care, and really think that’s what your family needs. Your offer to help pay is generous and very kind of you. ######


Prompt:
I (20f, college sophomore) had 300 dollars in my savings account that I put there after I got paid for my work study job. Last week I went on my account and it’s gone. I went to my dad about it and he said he moved it somewhere else to save. I very politely said that since it’s my money from my work I would appreciate him putting it back and not touching it in the future. Fast forward to tonight, it’s still not back so I go to him again and he starts going on about how he can show me where he put it, that he won’t be moving it back to my account, and that I have no right to be upset. I said, okay, you have until tomorrow or I’m making my own back account for my work checks. (He has access to my current one bc it’s also where my college tuition, which he pays for, is paid from). He told me I was being a brat, that I am not to go off making my own account, and that I should appreciate him saving my money for me since I’m a bad spender. I tried to go to my mom about it and she said the same thing.

I admit I sometimes overspend, but I’m still upset over this because I feel like since I’m an adult, they need to let me learn how to save my money now and if I end up blowing it, I blow it and that’s on me. If I don’t learn that the hard way without mommy and daddy helping me now, when am I supposed to? But all that said, AITA?

EDIT: mentioned this in a reply and was told I should add this to the original post. Since my parents found out I was gay this past October, their financial support has been completely dependent on my not coming out anywhere publicly. If I so much as said “I’m gay” on Facebook all financial support would be cut. ######

Response:
 NTA at all.

1.) Regardless of you being an adult or not, your money is your money. You earned that doing work at your own job. He has no right to take your money.
2.) Yes, I agree that if you blow your money then it's on you. Your parents have no right to dictate what money you have if you earned it. They have no right to take it away from you.
3.) Your father might pay for your tuition, but that doesn't mean you can't have your own bank account.

This seems like a toxic relationship. To me, it seems like your parents want you to depend on them. To me, it seems like they want to have some sort of control over you all of the time. In this case, it's monetary control. If anything, I think you need to separate yourselves from them, otherwise you won't be able to spend your money without them knowing all about it.

You are 100% not the asshole. ######


Prompt:
Growing up my mom was big in to charity work (not donating money but giving things to people who they thought needed it), it might sound like a good thing but a lot of the times it was taking something from me (yes most of it was given to me by her but they didn’t limit it to things purchased by her) giving it to someone who they felt needed it more eg taking my spare phone and donating it to one of the workers around my block because they needed it more.

This has eaten at me over the years and has completely put me off any kind of human philanthropy, I do a lot of work for animals ( I prefer being around animals than humans if that helps)

Recently There’s been pressure for me to be more generous and do more charity work for people that need it (given that there’s a pandemic) and I’m getting shit for choosing to donate to animals instead

And ofc if someone who I know and like is having a hard time I do reach out and try to help wherever possible but am not into giving away shit to random people

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all.

> eg taking my spare phone and donating it to one of the workers around my block because they needed it more

While that's well-intentioned, that's straight up theft.

> I do a lot of work for animals

All you need to say is, "I do charity work that I'm really interested in already.  Animals are also affected by COVID-19: pets whose owners have died, pets that are underfed because their owners are out of work, supporting shelters that are overrun by people who have abandoned animals they can no longer afford.  This is support that I'm passionate about and adds value to my life and the lives of others that can't help themselves." ######


Prompt:
AITA for Not Letting My Sister use my Niece & Nephews To Manipulate Me
[F] Recently my sister got temporary custody of my neice and nephews (our brother's children). My sister was decided on as the one to get custody, because she is married, is financially better off, and doesn't work outside of the home. My sister's husband is not happy about the arrangement. When she gets tired or sick, I am the one that goes over to her house to help with the kids, ie. feed them, bathe them, put them to bed, play with them or watch them while she takes a nap. I have even run errands and brought over dinner after work. I live 45 minutes to an hour away. I have been trying to help as much as I can, all while still continuing to go to work as an "essential employee". Now that her husband is home (due current circumstances), she has wanted me to take the kids on the weekends. I truly do not mind, what I don't like is not being asked. She just Tells me the kids are coming over this weekend, and tells me what time she is bringing them. On Sunday when I need to bring them back to her, she tells me her husband wants me to keep them til 3pm or later. This weekend, she told me when she was bringing them, told me they had been sick and fighting with each other. So I go to bring them back sunday and she got angry, saying I thought you were keeping them until after we go to this meeting. She claimed she had a meeting at 2pm and wanted me to keep them until after they got back. She never asked me, she told me she had a meeting, which due to circumstances, should have been canceled. I explained, "you didnt ask me, unfortunately, I have work tomorrow and have to get some things done that I was unable to do over the weekend." She proceeded to yell at me over the phone, saying, "the kids don't ever have to come back to my house, you dont ever have to watch them again." I did bring them back. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA at all. Your sister in an AH for numerous reasons.

1. Making a decision like that without being on the same page with your husband.
2. Having no consideration for your time or independence. ######


Prompt:
So when my wife and I got married I was probably 40 pounds overweight. I gained weight for a couple years until I finally got sick of being a fatass and started exercising and dieting. Since then I’ve lost 50 pounds, and I’d say I’m within a healthy weight range now.

When I first married my wife I would say looks wise I was out of her league. I think she’s very pretty and I was definitely not good looking. I’d say now we’re more equal as physical attractiveness goes, not to be a brag.

Anyway I was talking to a friend about how I’d finally lost weight and it felt good, he congratulated me then said that I should upgrade my wife. I figured it was a joke and chuckled a little but he kept going with it, said that we’ve only been married a few years(4, not nothing) and that I shouldn’t spend the rest of my life with someone “ugly” that I married because I was fat.

I said yes, I do in fact want to spend the rest of my life with someone I married, that tends to be how it works, and that I’m not a piece of shit so I’m not going to upgrade my wife.

He got a divorce a few years ago and talked a bit about how good it felt to be out there again, but never really said it was because he thought she was ugly.

He got pissed and said that he divorced his wife for looks and he isn’t a piece of shit, at which point I said that I disagreed, and he hung up. He messaged me later that we exchanged some “harsh words” and should just move past it, but then followed it up with he wants an apology.

I don’t know what the fucks wrong with him, but a mutual friend also messaged me that calling him a piece of shit wasn’t “cool”. I don’t know I’m pissed off right now so it’s hard to tell if I went too far.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all. Your friend is a huge one though for:

1) Trying to undermine your relationship with your wife.
2) Being shallow enough to divorce his wife solely for looks.
3) Trying to encourage those same shallow behaviors in you.

Good for you for standing up for your wife. I would seriously consider moving on from this friend though, because are you  certain he will stop this attack on your relationship because you asked him to? He clearly doesn't respect boundaries. ######