Prompt:
I(19M) am going to college 6 hours away from home. My parents are paying my tuition but they had one stipulation. I had to download life 360 on my phone and keep it on at all times. Life 360 is a phone tracking app that tells whoever's is in the group where I am, when i am driving or someone is driving me, when I get home and when my phone gets low on battery. Now I'm also the youngest of 4 none of my older siblings had to do anything like this and they all had there tuition paid from my parents.

Sunday night my girlfriend(23F) and I wanted to go out to the beach and have *fun time* so to make sure my mom doesnt call or text to ask why I'm on the beach i turned it off. Didnt get any calls or text. Went to bed and woke up to 5 miss calls from my mom 3 miss calls from my dad and a text from my sister(21F) saying "moms going to fucking kill you I would call asap." Well I called my mom and basically got yelled at for 20 minutes and then was told she is going to start FINING me every time I turn my life 360 off. She said it will matter how long it was off for and what time of day it was turned off. AITA? All my siblings I made a deal with her and I broke it. All of my friends and girlfriend agree this whole thing is fucking dumb. ######

Response:
 NTA. “Explain to me why I have to do this and my siblings didn’t?”

Oh, and r/insaneparents ######


Prompt:
This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.

work ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.

I get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.

Next day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.

He ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.

I really don't think I did anything wrong. ######

Response: NTA. ‘Carma’ mwhahahahahaha ######


Prompt:
Hi, this is my first post here.

I'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little.

They were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too.

Long story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could.

Now my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them.

Anyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her.

AITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######

Response:
 NTA.
They’re YOURS. You’re never too old to play with legos. They’re literally just plastic building blocks. I have no idea why your mom didn’t want you to take them back to your place. ######


Prompt:
It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service  there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks  don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time.

However there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously  know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish  to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals  with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing  by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a  photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking  away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way

He then tried to frame it as "She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment" The photo was  blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The  manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly  gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me.

He got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the  managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as  well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was  off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced  at a few asses but he wasn't "Alarming" according to their experience

I  thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women.

Also I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ######

Response:
 NTA.
So this guy took photos of you in a compromised position without your consent and was then attempting to paint you in a poor light with the gym managers? I’m disturbed that he had the audacity to take a compromising photo of you without your consent, being that the gym is not a public place. In my country that is enough to have someone banned from the gym, and there would even be grounds for police involvement. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.
Of course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.
A week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.
That is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use.
I'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!
Now they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...
So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.
in no way, shape, or form give them that info. there is no reason for them to need or have it.
major red flag ######


Prompt: Ex and I have three sons 6, 9 and 13. I have two pets - a pug named Thor and a Maine Coon cat named Max. When my kids are with me 1/2 the week, Thor and Max insist on sleeping with them. My kids don't mind and both enjoy snuggling. My ex-wife asked me to stop letting letting Thor and Max sleep with them because her boyfriend is very allergic to dogs and cats. I told her I couldn't care less so she is now saying that she too is allergic to cats and asks why I can't keep them in a separate room or outside. I absolutely refuse. It's not personal. ######

Response:
 NTA.
If he is really allergic, just get some separate sets of clothes for the kids to sleep with them. Then they can just shower and get changed before going back to your ex's house.

My parents are divorced and my dad has a really lovable (but clumsy) German Shepard and a grass backyard. I have a designated set of clothes to play with him when I visit so I won't keep getting other clothes spoiled or dirty ######


Prompt:
Throwaway. On mobile.

I (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.

My sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.

My sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo/grill/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.

I told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.

My sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.

I love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Your niece has 5 friends who could potentially host a party. ######


Prompt: So I'm(15M) and I have 2 moms. I was adopted at 5 months old into a family with 2 older siblings and 2 moms it's my normal. I dont take lightly to homophobic people or people making fun of anyone for being gay. Well today I was playing video games with a couple of my friends. We were playing gta v and everything was fine. Until one of the guys made was trash talking someone and called them a f*got I told him that was out of line. He didnt respond for a bit and when I thought everything was over he said "you know I get it your parents are gay but you dont have to a be sensitive ass bitch online because of it no one likes a sjw." I said "I'm a sjw because I dont like using slurs??" He said "no but you shouldn't judge other people for using them and just keep to yourself." I said "no I'm going to call you on your bullshit when I fucking want to." He said "alright whatever you say p*ssy." At that point I was done and said "oh ok I'm a p*ssy I dont remember being the one who banned someone from my discord server for having a opposing opinion on something but oh no I'm the p*ssy. Are you forgetting about just a couple weeks ago you were dming me talking shit on alex for having a mental breakdown in the general text chat the other day and I tried to stay out of it." Another friend said "wow you cant just be exposing dms like that!" I said "no he fucking asked for it and I know the only reason you are defending him is because you want to be mod on the discord server you tell me all the time that if you get closer to him he will give you mod." Basically I ruined a friend group and had everyone turn on each other. ######

Response:
 NTA.

You stood up for people getting bullied w/ ridiculous insults. Obviously good.

You also blew up a friend group by...telling the truth. If these were personal embarrassing secrets you'd be the asshole. But they were petty truths about people behaving pettily. So...NTA. ######


Prompt: I was on a uni trip and spent the day talking to one to the organisers of the trip associated with the company that ran the trip (we met on the trip, I didn’t know him before). It was a bit flirty and we talked a couple times throughout the day and at the pres we talked for probably over/around half an hour. I didn’t hookup with him/kiss or have sex with him because I decided I wasn’t interested in him so just spent the rest of the time with girlfriends dancing, Talking etc. the next day, some friends of mine that I had met fairly recently so we weren’t super close but they were the only people I knew on the trip before I came on the trip, told me that I had hurt his feelings and offended him and he felt I had lead him on. They said that I should check in with him because I hurt his feeling. I thought and told them that I didn’t owe someone an apology or explanation for not being interested in them or talking to them and not following through with something sexual. AITA for not apologising or checking in with him? ######

Response:
 NTA.

You don't owe anyone sex because you had a conversation with them.
You don't owe them an apology for not having sex with them.

Your friends have some "interesting" perspectives. ######


Prompt:
My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.

I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.

He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.

So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .

Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.

I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

You did exactly what he does to you, he never actually replaces the items (buying someone something crappier than what they owned is not replacing it) and is benefitting from "forgetting" the organization rule all the time.

So, this time you did it too.

Were you ACTUALLY an asshole? Well... yeah. But you needed to be because talking to him hasn't solved the problem and he is taking advantange of you. If this is what you did from the start, I'd say you all suck, but he knows wtf he is doing.

So overall, morally, NTA! ######


Prompt:
Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner  I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol

B:The food is great

BB: thanks I even made cake

B: yes I love your cakes

Me: I do too

BB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me

Silence....

I looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

You confided in him, and he went out and betrayed said confidence. You are fully within your rights to be upset. ######


Prompt: My partner and I have a two year old and we are expecting in the fall. He would like to go to a sporting event that is out of state and would be gone for at least 3 days. The sporting event is 2 weeks after my due date. I told him that I really feel like I need help at home because I will be newly postpartum with a newborn and a toddler running around. He keeps saying he will just take the toddler (I would never let this happen as this seems to be more of a boys trip, not kid friendly). He does not seem to be openly mad that I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up and I’m wondering if he is thinking I will change my mind if he keeps breaking me down about it? It started out as a joking matter but now I’m thinking he actually thinks he wants to go and he is making me feel bad for putting my foot down. All of his friends are still bachelors so I hate to having to hold him back because I know things like this are really important to his well-being. AITA for not letting him go? ######

Response:
 NTA.

What if you end up with a c section and can't pick up the baby? You're going to do this alone?

He made the baby, he can stand to miss 1 event and stay home while the baby is a newborn. ######


Prompt:
Background: I'm  a housewife and I don't have any money. My husband doesn't give me money, he's not the "Here, some money buy something nice for yourself" type.
I ask him for permission to buy some things because I'm using his money. He doesn't want me to work.

The story: Last month I wanted to buy something (I forgot what) it's NOT expensive at all and I didn't ask for anything for the past few months. So I ask H if we could buy it, he didn't said anything.

A few days later his salary came he showed me his payslip. I ask him,"So can we buy the thing?"
He snapped back, "You just saw money and now you want to buy useless things you're so greedy/ gold digger. I WILL NEVER SHOW YOU MY PAYSLIP AGAIN!"
Mind you he said that in front of me and his mom. I was humiliated.

I confronted him after that and he told me I should find a job so I don't beg from him. I didn't reply because I don't want our fight to get any longer. In the end he never bought the thing I want to buy.

Last week I was asking him to buy something again because its my birthday next week.
So today he showed me his payslip again.
I said, "Why did you show me that?, I thought you will never show me that because I might want to buy useless stuff again. I don't want to get called greedy/ gold digger again." Those words kinda slipped out of my mouth because I remembered what he did last time.

Now hes mad at me for ruining his mood. Until now 2 hours we're not talking. Should I say sorry to him?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

This is financial abuse, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has other abusive tendencies (it even sound like emotional abuse from your short description).

I'd get a job and squirrel all your money away so you can have enough money to leave this man. Don't let him touch a penny of your earnings.

This is terrible, good luck. He is a 100% abusive asshole. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.

Initially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.

So yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.

In that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.
Well, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.

I called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.

Everyone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

They went behind your back and went against everything you said. They are calling you the asshole to guilt you into giving them money. It’s your money and you do with it what you see fit. ######


Prompt:
Our neighbors kids were outside playing when we all went out to look for Easter eggs. When we let the kids have at it the neighbor kids really interested and stood right at the fence looking through and watching our kids. It was kind of awkward, but our kids didn’t notice so we just went on with it.

The same thing happens a lot when our kids go swimming in our pool or play on their jungle gym.

Yesterday our neighbor left us a note asking if we could wait until her kids are done playing outside to go swimming. As it’s hot right now her kids are very jealous and upset since they can’t swim and now can’t even go to the park to play. Us having an Easter egg hunt in front of them made it a lot worse since they also couldn’t have one and they were very sad.

It just seems unfair that we would have to schedule our kids playing around her kids. ######

Response:
 NTA.

That's ridiculous of your neighbor to ask you to not let your kids have fun *at your own house* because their kids would get jealous. They need to entertain their own kids. A blow up pool isn't expensive if they can't afford to buy a real one. Plus they could have had a Easter egg hunt at their house. Buying plastic eggs ans candy isn't hard and its not expensive. It's not your fault they didn't do it. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS.

My boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.

When he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.

The reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.

He said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush.

Either way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants.

Anyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

That *is* unhygienic. And disgusting. Tell him to wrap it in duct tape so he can feel "macho" again. ######


Prompt: I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She should absolutely be keeping the house clean. There's no excuse not to. ######


Prompt:
OK, here I go. It might be long. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5, and had our first kid 4 years ago. She's pregnant with our third. Shortly after our first kid's birth, she had a burnout, and I effectively became the sole source of income for our family. She has recently made plans to return to work in a complete different career. I'm self-employed (woodworker), and so  would she (parental counseling). Now today, she tells me that with everything going on, she's thinking of home-schooling the kids. At first, I'm thinking, sure why not? She has a background in education, was a teacher, has a Master in developmental psychology. So, hey, what the hell.
Now, this is where things went awry. I asked her:
'What about your career plans?'
'Oh, I was thinking you could Monday-Wednesday, leave home early and take care of the kids from 6pm so I can take care of my clients/customers/patients (I have no idea what to call them). Then, Thursday and Friday, you'd work mornings only, and I could use those afternoons as well.'
So we got in a fight. I feel she's pressuring me into doing this her way, and leave a job I like (however physically demanding) and I make OK money with, for a dream of a perfect life she has for herself. All the while the kids are enrolled in a private Montessori school I'm paying for and am perfectly satisfied with.
I told her so. But she says success isn't only measured in hours worked. Sure, but it does pay for everything right now. And I'm afraid it won't be enough if things go her way.
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to keep things going as they are? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She needs a hard reality check.

Pretty much her whole plan is wishfull thinking about how much business she can actually get. You cutting hard into your work hours for her to spend time in an unproven and given the whole economic situation pretty shaky business model. ######


Prompt:
I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed.
When we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.
Her family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.
She ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise/magic of a once in a lifetime event.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She liked it. You were thoughtful to *your partner*, rather than all the busibodies always looking to stroke their egos with *something* or other. Now she has a whole lovely trip accompanying her ring. It has a more romantic story than most rings. ######


Prompt: My roommate recently moved in to live with me 3 weeks ago. Things been good. She’s very nice and we click well. Last night, she told me she was gonna go for a run and go to seven eleven. She asked me if I wanted anything, I said no. She went and didn’t come back. I texted her and she didn’t reply. I waited for her but I ended up falling asleep. I woke up and she wasn’t home. I went to work and came home and she wasn’t home. Her social media was dead and she hasn’t messaged me. I ended up calling the cop when I got home, around 9pm. She was found at a friend’s. She freaked out on me and said that I’m not her mom and that she doesn’t have to tell me where she’s at all the time. She called me creepy and nosey and I feel bad now. Did I overstep the boundaries? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She didn’t say goodbye in a way that indicated she’d be gone that long.

Based on her going radio silent and being so angry, I’d be wondering if she wasn’t up to something she’s embarrassed about or hiding. ######


Prompt:
First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom "mom" and both my husband and her step dad "dad". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.

I don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.

One day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons.

Later that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.

I feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Only asshole would be those who do not let their teenage kids use sanitary products. ######


Prompt:
My husband (36) and I have two kids, my husband also has autism and so does my son (17) both relatively mild cases. My daughter and I do not share this mental disability with them.

Now I’m a nurse which means due to COVID I’ve had to be at  my workplace, my husband however could work at home. My children being  school aged were also obviously home. I noticed that after the first few weeks my daughter started receiving a lot more money from my husband, I noticed my son also giving money , and when restrictions were eased car rides in addition seemed available to my youngest.

I called In sick so I’m off two weeks, and I’ve noticed that when my daughter asks for things from my son or husband she’ll try to either hug them or raise her voice.
These are both sensory overloads for them and they’ll agree to anything to make it stop and avoid a meltdown, before they hate loud noises and uninitiated physical contact.

I know this because I admittedly have done this myself ONCE before when my husband didn’t want to go to the doctor So wrapped my arms around him for like half a minute  while I asked him to get in the car and let me take him to the doctor he agreed after he started to freak out.

So I confronted my daughter about this and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about, I asked her to explain to me how it’s okay for her to try to overwhelm like that and she started to get angry so she went to her room, I then went to my husband and say we should punish her after I explained the situation, he got mad and said there’s no way he’s being taken advantage of by a 14 yr old, I asked him if he was under duress when she asked for something from him and he refused to answer and went to our room and locked the door.

AITA for trying to punish my daughter for taking  advantage of my husband and son ? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Not only is this taking advantage of your husband and son, but it's ingraining habits in your daughter that will follow her into the real world.

Can you imagine her abusing another autistic person's sensory overloads to get her way, because she thinks it's okay? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.

Tonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said "another shitty diaper to change" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.

Granted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).

It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?

When I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.

He wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.

I feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

No offense to you buy guys like this give the rest of us Dads a bad name. I don't care if he pays all the rent and works his ass off to do so, there is no excuse for not changing a dirty diaper. If there is one thing I can guarantee you will have to do to your child aside from feeding them, its changing a fucking diaper. Be a fucking man and do your job. ######


Prompt:
Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling.

Then suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, "Goddamn!" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time.

I got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

My husband let off of a ripper in front of our 4 year old earlier and the look of disgust on his little face had me crying!

The topper was when he said "I just need some space after that" and ran to the other side of the room. So yeah hahaha ######


Prompt:
For the past 2 years me and my gf have been dating, she has never known what she wants to eat. Me or her sister can ask her what she wants and she will respond with "I'm not sure, what sounds good to you?" Then I'll begin listing off all the options around us fast food wise. She will proceed to tell me no on everything I say, to which I then start naming things we can buy at Walmart and she starts saying no to those things as we would have to "wait forever for them to cook" or she doesn't "feel like X meat"

This morning I'm going over the options again, and of course things play out about like this and she calls me mean for pointing out that she never knows what she wants.

AITA?

Edit: to respond to the person asking what I said, all I said was "you never know what you want to eat". I never get an attitude with her about it, and she knows I'm not mad. Or atleast I hope she does lol

Edit 2: it's a Christmas miracle, she said she wants pizza ######

Response:
 NTA.

My girl does the same so I make it easy.

I say: baby, you decided what to order or what you want me to make while I take a shower etc.
I’m the kind of guy that can go without food for a while, so she usually gives in and orderes something. ######


Prompt:
For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate

So I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women.

Kate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her.

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own sexuality and decided that I was in fact bisexual.

Since then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly because I just wanted to keep it to myself and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet

That was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text

At first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused

I told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years.

She then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls (I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself) or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys.

I told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl

Long story short, we went back and forth a couple of times until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?) and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her sexuality.

I eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since.

I very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bisexual but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking asshole ######

Response:
 NTA.

Kate needs to get over herself, she doesn’t get to have a monopoly on being bisexual and doesn’t get to police other people’s sexuality. Her reaction is immature and petty.

Don’t worry about her OP, you do you. 🌈🤍🌈🤍🌈 ######


Prompt:
I spend a lot of time either working from home or running my business from home so my wife and I decided I could use a spare room as my office. I turned it into a sort of library/office over the years and on top of all my bookcases and shelves I've placed models and figurines that I've made and or collected. [These are](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dz4xxb4WwAAavnL.jpg) examples of [some of the things](https://twitter.com/FinalFantasy/status/842760746463387648/photo/3) [that I have displayed](https://www.thewebernets.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/tech_seawater_03.jpg). None of my models of figurines are scantily clad women or dolls before you make that claim. Mostly planes and boats.

I still spend time with my family, I contribute to the household chores and I don't lock myself away in my office. My wife however said that all my models and such are childish and that she gets embarrassed when people come round to stay or visit. I pointed out that she's covered our bedroom in plushies and she said that's not the same. I was told to hide or get rid of the models and figurines, I refused so now she's refusing to talk to me.

We have 2 kids and they each have their own room, she also has a craft room where she does her dress making, sewing and cross-stitch things. ######

Response:
 Nta.

Its your office, with things you enjoy.
She could easily get around her perceived and non warranted embarrassment by simply not showing people around your office, especially since there doesn't seem to be a need for them to be there.

If you love the models, keep them. I have 4 glass cabinets of vintage military vehicle models the size of dinky cars. I love them. They're staying in my living room display where they belong. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I were doing long distance, so we didn’t get to see each other often. When everything was shutting down both our employers made it so we could work online. We thought this would be a good opportunity to get some quality time with each other. So I went to stay with her.

My sister found out recently and has asked if she and her daughter can stay at my place for the time being.

My sister and her daughter currently live with our parents and our younger sibling. Our parents are a bit pushy and very strict about keeping things tidy. My sister says it wasn’t so bad before, but after being stuck at home with them they are driving her completely crazy because they are getting on her about her parenting (niece she a bit ill mannered for her age). So she needs some space away from them.

My mom has since confirmed they are not getting along right now.

To be honest though I just feel uncomfortable with them staying there without me. So many things could happen without me there. Especially with a little kid running around. I mean so many things could happen with me there too, but at least I would be there to quickly take care of anything that goes wrong. Not saying she definitely would, but she would be able also to go snooping through all my things and I don’t like the idea of that.

When I told her it wouldn’t be possible she said I was being a dick and a sucky brother since I should have offered it two months ago when I left to live with my girlfriend in the first place and knew she didn’t get along with our parents. ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s your place. Idgaf if she’s your sister. She should’ve gotten her own place too ######


Prompt:
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.

My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.

Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s very possible her feelings may be hurt and there will be comments made to you and your fiancé about “excluding” her, but your wedding is about *you two as a couple* and the people you all want supporting *your* marriage, not about appeasing and entertaining people who (inadvertently or not) cannot maintain healthy boundaries and support your marriage. ######


Prompt:
I (17m) am the oldest son in my family. I have 4 younger siblings (14f, 8f, 5m and 2f). My mom expects me to watch my siblings when she isn't home. Needless to say, I'm tired of it. I never get to go to parties. Neither do I get to hang out with my friends. In fact, I hardly ever have time for myself. Last time I went on a date with my girlfriend and came home late, my mom got mad at me because I didn't change my youngest sister's diapers.

Today, my mom announced she's going to have another child. It's not that I don't want her to have a child, but I really don't want to watch another sibling. When I told my mom I'm tired of being a "babysitter" and that I won't watch her children, she called me selfish and an asshole for not being happy for her.

My aunt and grandma agrees with me but my dad said I was wrong and that I should be happy for him and my mom. My mom said I "hurt her feelings" and that she's disappointed in me.

But I said it's not my responsibility to watch her children.

That said, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s incredibly unfair to expect you to give up your childhood to be a father to your younger siblings. Why would you be excited to have a fifth charge to add to your responsibilities? I wouldn’t blame you if you resented your parents and cut them off after you move out, honestly. That’s definitely a toxic, if not abusive, situation. You’re their brother, not their father, and I can understand expecting you to help but your baby sister’s diapers are her responsibility, not yours.

I don’t feel like it’s ridiculous for you to express being unhappy at having another sibling. Someone else is having babies they expect you to put your formative years on hold to take care of, and anyone outside the situation should realize that unless you were calling names and cursing people out, you’re not an asshole for this.

I’m a parent. I would never expect my son to look after his sister with the same care that I would. It’s unreasonable and it isn’t his job to parent his siblings. Just like it’s not yours. ######


Prompt:
Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.

My wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.

My wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.

I am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota.

She says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's not your job to provide for her kids. If she wants a better life let her earn it. ######


Prompt:
Okay so I'm a queer woman in a relationship with a straight man. I don't shout my sexuality from the rooftops but I'm also not willing to hide it or pretend it's not a part of my identity.
Title is slightly misleading but basically my (24F) boyfriend (27M) just told me "I wish our relationship was more simple and it was just a heterosexual relationship where we love eachother"
This fucking confused me because we've been together for 6 years, neither of us have ever cheated or been unfaithful but he's always had some lowkey issues with me being queer simply because it makes him feel insecure, but he's not really vocal about it except for this instance and a few others. This one really bothered me though.
Here's where I may be TA, I'm about to get my period and I'm not sure if it's the heightened emotions or what but what he said stung and I immediately yelled and got really angry and said "what the fuck does that mean? it basically is a heterosexual relationship where we love eachother except I'm not straight". He said that it was confusing, I told him I know he's smarter than that and it's not complicated at all.
Now I'm not talking to him and I'm still really pissed off.
This isn't the first time we've fought about this and I'm getting tired of it.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's not confusing. What he means is that he has insecurities and it's easier to put that on your sexuality than it is to look within himself and get that shit fixed.

6 years is a lot of time to waste with someone who views your sexuailty as problematic. Make sure this gets dealt with, not swept under the rug until next time. Stick to your guns whether that means a heart to heart or going to therapy to get this sorted. DO NOT SETTLE for someone willing to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.

Edit: and don't let him make this about your period. Girl this is queerphobia were talking about you'd be pissed regardless of whether or not a shining elevator of blood was about to burst forth. ######


Prompt: So last weekend, a few mates and I got together and had drinks/dinner while watching bad movies. The apartment belonged to Sophia. At some point, she asked if I could get something out of her walk-in pantry while she cooked. Her and another of my friends locked me in. I have claustrophia as a result of trauma I experienced as a child (I don't feel comfortable sharing online). They are aware of it. So I panicked and begged them to let me out. After 2-3 minutes of them laughing, I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked the door which broke the hinges and caused it to fall off. It was only small and made of seemingly flimsy wood. I ended up having a screaming match with the two that locked me in while a third friend arrived. Said third friend agreed that what they did was terrible but the other two said I overreacted and should pay for the door. I disagreed so my friend and I left. Sophia has contacted me asking for money but I'm steadfast in believing I shouldn't pay for anything. I also think I'm owed an apology. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It was childish AF to lock you in the pantry and to not let you out after begging. They are definitely sucky for that.

You may want to use this as an opportunity to seek out some new kinder mates and reevaluate how much you desire keeping the friendship with these original ones.

Best of luck. ######


Prompt:
My parents pay for my undergraduate degree and also pay for my brother’s masters. He graduated from his undergraduate 4 years ago, and I’m finishing mine this year, I literally am just missing one more period and I finish my classes. I really want to finish my undergraduate and have my graduation with my friends.

COVID-19 has had an economic impact on my family, fortunately we have everything we need, but it has come to the point where my parents believe they cannot have us both enrolled in university, just one of us. Either way, one of us would have to pause their studies so the other can continue. He wants to continue even though he’s not close to finishing his studies yet and he already has his undergraduate degree. I want to continue because I’m so close to finishing, i just have one more period to go and I’m done.

So, am I the asshole?? ######

Response:
 NTA.

In the long run the one period you need will be cheaper. Can your brother take loans for the period he can’t be helped? ######


Prompt:
 We've been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartments closer to both of our works. Her sister (S) moved in 2 months ago as she's pregnant, her husbands in the army and the rest of the families in a different state.

My GFs a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours, to take the load of my GF I've been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning.

I have a lot of work to do so I'm just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around after every 3 hours so whenever I eat I also make a little something for her as well.

So the problem is that whenever GF gets off from work she always ends up having to giver her sister a massage which I suspect is because she's pregnant but I don't know. GF and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH as I should help S out when she's in pain.

Her reasons for:

* AH move not helping a pregnant women when she's in pain
* GF is stressed & tired with having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing
* I give GF massages when she's sore so whats the difference
* And I give good massages (mom was a masseuse)

My reason:

* Its a bit weird giving someone you're not close to a massage

We kind of agreed to continue the conversation  in the morning when she wakes for her shift, bit I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so that's why I'm here. ######

Response:
 NTA.

If you're not comfortable doing it, you're not comfortable. No discussion needed.

Your girlfriend needs to respect your boundaries. ######


Prompt:
So, my mom doesn't really do boundaries.  I was assigned female at birth but identify as male.  Because of the pandemic I haven't been able to start things that I planned to start.  Ever since I started puberty she does this thing where she is in the bathroom while I shower.

It started with her coming in and going to the bathroom while I'm showering.  But now that I'm out of the closet, she tends to come in right after I've started my shower.  She will not only go to the bathroom while I'm showering, but also brush her teeth and complain at me about my dad, who is her ex-husband.

I end up having to tell her to get out most of the time.  She doesn't seem to understand why I won't dry off in the shower while she keeps talking at me.  I feel like she's waiting to see me naked so that she can see if I've done anything to "damage" my body, as she puts it.  It makes me really uncomfortable.

She insists it's perfectly normal for mothers to be in the bathroom while their kids are showering but I'm 21 now.  And she thinks it's fine for her to be in there because she "grew me inside of her".  She can't see my reasoning for why it makes me uncomfortable, no matter how many times I try to explain it to her.

AITA for not wanting her to come into the bathroom while I'm showering? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If my parents came into the bathroom while I was taking a shower I'd lose my shit. Not really okay for anyone to be in the bathroom with you, unless you want them to be. Also, maybe invest in a door lock as a solution? ######


Prompt:
AITA: for getting frustrated with my MIL and now SIL just stopping bye whenever they feel like it.

So I am going to start off I generally like my MIL... My husband and I live in a small town and MIL lives 2 minutes away. SIL is currently long visit and is staying with the in-laws. We have had issues with her just showing up since we have been together (3 and half years now). Husband has tried to talk to MIL but it keep happening.

This week they tried to stopped by without calling while husband and I were having “some couple time.” Dog was barking but we didn’t hear anything. After we were done I had missed call from SIL. She said they dropped by and asked what we were doing ... I lied. Husband was upset. This was not the first time MIL has knocked on the door while we were doing the act.

Today, SIL calls husband ... he ignores it because he is playing a game. I have the front door open so the dog can lay on the chair and watch the street (she is a chihuahua). She starts barking more than usual. I go to look out and step out of the house. There I see my MIL and SIL coming up to my door. I told them, “So you call husband and when doesn’t answer you just come over?”

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I’ve had conversations with my husband about MIL doing the same thing in the beginning as well. I might have said truthfully what I was doing, though, just so they’d feel super awkward and never come over unannounced again. ######


Prompt:
Obviously I know what my diagnoses are now, but I just wanted some other verdicts on this. And for reference, I am 18f.

When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with mosaic Turner Syndrome (TS). I won't get too into this, but basically I knew that I was 'different' because of all the medications I had to take and doctors I had to see. I always asked my parents why I had to do all this extra stuff while my younger siblings didn't, but they always didn't answer me. But when I was 12 years old, my mom sat me down and told me that I had turner syndrome, and what it exactly was, and that explained so much about me.

I had been seeing a psychologist for many years, and one day when I was 13, I was taken in to do this all-day test thing that I didn't know why I was doing it. I do remember that my mom and my psychologist made me go out of the room while they discussed the results. Last night, I was filling out health stuff for college, and as my mom was looking it over, she added non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD) to the list of various health concerns I had. Obviously, that was news to me, and she didn't really say much about it, just gave me my laptop back. After researching stuff, NVLD does explain some aspects of my personality as well as some physical stuff.

I'm just angry that my mom hid all this stuff from me, and I'm wondering if my anger is even justified at all. I haven't lashed out or anything, just silently fuming. I did try asking once why I was kept in the dark for all this time, and they just said that I was too young and wouldn't have understood then. However, many teachers and adults have described me as perceptive and intelligent for my age, and I have met various TS girls who had been told about and understood the condition at a very young age.

So was my mom in the wrong? Or is my anger unjustified? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I was very sick in second grade. I’m now 32. I still have no idea what I was diagnosed with (all I know is my white cell count was in the basement and I missed a lot of school in first and second grade). My mom died without telling me. Who fuckin knows? Not I.

It’s incredibly damaging and irresponsible to not tell you about your own medical history. Are there other things she hasn’t told you that you have?! ######


Prompt:
My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) & me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.
For example -
Me: "Can you take the garbage out?"
Him: "Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!"
Things came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents.
Now a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the "Demon" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him.
Please help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ######

Response:
 NTA.

i think you need to harden your heart a little in this situation. i think a touch of tough love/reality will hopefully help him see what he is doing. because this is how marriages end.

i think (and really, feel free to tell me to piss off - i'm just feeling chatty, i guess) that you need to tell him a few real hard facts. i am a big fan of separating myself from my emotional state and trying to be as objective as possible - "channel my inner Vulcan" as i tell my kid - so i would definitely do what you need to do to prepare - no one likes the tough love talks.

the facts are that while he is greiving, he is also starting to develop a martyr complex - get off your cross, it's winter and we need the wood. he is shirking his responsibilities and doing some weird gaslighting shit. When he denies it (and he will) just wave your hand and say something like:

"See? THIS is what i'm talking about. THIS shit is not okay. Don't treat me like i am so dumb you can talk over me and change the facts. We are a team, and a family, and you and i both know you are having a hard time.  You are not being co-captain, you are happy to be warming the bench. Find someone to talk to if you won't do therapy and won't be honest with me. I don't care how, but i care that you are able to live the life your parents would want you to have. The way you are behaving isn't really in line with that. Lashing out at me, creating all this constant drama and strife - that's definitely a sign that you need to find a way to process this. I love you, but i am not responsible for your emotions.You are. I can't fix you, we all fix ourselves. I am your wife and i am here to support you and love you. You don't need therapy? Well I don't need another child to raise. I need my husband. Your parents raised you to be a good man - so BE a good man."

This is all pulled out of my ass, of course, and theoreticals are easier than actualities. I am an overthinker though, and reherse in my head, and try to anticipate reactions, and how i would address that, etc, etc. i always try very hard to be kind, and calm, and empathetic - but i am rock solid, no give. it's like cotton candy over a rock.

i hope things get better for you; even if you think i have my head up my ass, all g - i just feel for you ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because everyone involved knows my main. I am on mobile and fat fingered so forgive grammer spelling and formatting mistakes.

I dont feel comfortable  putting too much detail in this so I will keep it short. If you need more info ask.

With that out of the way, lets begin. So i recently proposed to my girlfriend and we are getting married sometime next year. My fiance has gone into full planning mode. While we were talking about guests I brought up my friend who we will call leah. Leah has known my since we were children and has been one of my closest friends for many years. I obviously wanted her to be there.

Only problem is that she and I tried dating in university and slept together. It didnt work out and after a period of awkwardness we got back to where we used to be. She came out as lesbian a year afterwards and admitted that she had only slept with me becausr she was unsure of her feelings.

I told my fiance about this sometime earlier and eversince things have been ice between her and leah. She is now adamant not to have leah at the wedding. I really want her to be there but i also want respect my fiances wishes so here I am asking you. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I mean, I'm also a jealous person...but *come on*. Not only was your "relationship" with Leah abrupt, but she's a lesbian!

Your wife is insecure. You should be allowed to have your closest friends at your wedding. ######


Prompt:
I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.

I’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out.

I don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself.

When Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries/internet/cable/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself.

Joe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends.

Joe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations.

AITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I guarantee you if you let him move in, a month from now you'll be kicking yourself - and Dan also won't be moving out. The "trial run" thing is a farce - depending on where you live, he more than likely will be considered a legal tenant at that point and so getting him out isn't easy or quick should he decide to dig in his heels. Also, based on Joe's reaction to your objections, I don't see a scenario where Joe relents and asks his brother to leave after a month.

I get that it's his brother and so it's hard for Joe, but part of why Dan is this way is due to his enablers allowing him to be this way - his mom, and now his brother. It would be a good thing for Dan to have to figure out his own living situation his family swooping in to make life easy for him.

You are completely in the right here. ######


Prompt:
So, my daughter's Father owes a ton of back child support. Part of the outstanding balance is taken from his paychecks along with each current payment. It's not enough to pay it all back before she's 18, but it is deducted nevertheless. Anyway, he got a letter in the mail from the US Treasury Dept telling him that they've intercepted his $1200 corona stimulus check, and it will be applied to the back child support he owes. He almost immediately contacted me to tell me about the letter and how he was counting on that money. He was very upset that they would do that to him in a "it's not fair" kind of tone. I gathered that he believes that the money that is already garnished from his paychecks should have been enough to avoid additional consequences for being a former "deadbeat" Had he been keeping up with the stimulus check news then he would have known that this was going to happen. They announced that back child support debtors would not get checks a while ago. To his credit, he has been a consistent father in our daughter's life since the Attorney General's office caught up with him several years back and garnished his wages. And we have been on civil coparenting terms with few issues. But now, he has projected his frustration and bind onto me because he had already spent the stimulus money in his head that he isn't getting. I know this pandemic has hit people in the pockets, but he has not mentioned being in a bad financial situation since he is still able to work these days. I don't know what he planned on using the money for, and I don't ever ask him for extra money whenever I'm in a tight spot. AITA if I decline handing it over to him when I get it??

Le sigh... ######

Response:
 NTA.

How about the fact that it wasn’t fair to your child or you that he was a deadbeat for such a long time? ######


Prompt:
Our house has a weird layout. My bedroom is downstairs, general living space and the bathroom are upstairs. To get to the shower, I have to walk up the stairs and through the living room. Each time I have a shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk through the living room to go downstairs. It’s a bath sheet, it covers everything down to my knees. The only thing really showing is my shoulders.  My Dad has said things a couple of times but I didn’t know it was a real issue. Today I was walking through the living room after my shower and he glared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I guess I don’t have naked women in my house very often.” I said I wasn’t naked and I have worn dresses and other outfits more revealing than a towel. He just scoffed at me.

I can’t really get a bathrobe now. But too be honest I don’t really like them, and I don’t see why I should have to get one when a towel is really sufficient for a 5-sec walk through the living room. I never do it in front of company or anything. I guess I could get dressed in the bathroom but I like to lounge a bit and do skincare and hair care in my room before getting dressed.

AITA for doing this or is he the one overreacting? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Has he never seen you at the beach?

Him saying that sounds really creepy/weird too. You’re his daughter, not just some “naked woman” in his house. ######


Prompt:
Hear me out.

For reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy.

My older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls.

I live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.

In almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the "I'll eat what makes me happy" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all.

Finally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault.

What do you guys think? AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta.

Fuck i was expecting a ... But 50lbs at 2...how is his lttle heart handling that. My 4 year old isn't that heavy. ######


Prompt:
Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.

Fast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.
     Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything.

When she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing.

Ever since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.

My other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Firstly, sorry for your loss. Secondly. You have executed the request of his will and you are the heir to everything he left behind to you. She can threaten legal action however there is a willlll, a legal document already establishing who does and doesn’t get what.

She chose to act however she acted toward your dad and is now suffering the after consequences of lack of communication with him.

You owe her nothing. ######


Prompt:
I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.

Everyone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat.

My step mom says

“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!”

Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”

She says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.

My dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Everyone knew that you are afraid of boats, including your step mother.

Did that stop her from booking the cruise? No. Did you *ruin* the vacation? Also no.

Yes, your comment was pretty low. But the way I see it is that you are still angry that your father cheated on your mother, splitting the family apart (Entirely reasonable, affairs are extremely wrong).

Your father is mainly to blame; if he stayed loyal this situation wouldn’t have happened. ######


Prompt:
So basically what the title says but I will give you more details. Members of my family think AITA because I've requested that they only call me before 11am or after 8pm. Why? Because my boyfriend works 10pm to 7:00AM and I follow his schedule. I don't work because I am disabled and by following his schedule I get to spend more then an hour or 2 with him. And I don't want to turn my ringer on my phone off just in case there is an emergency. I don't get any other phone calls except from my family and a couple friends. Hell even my doctors offices have mainly followed my request. They only call me after 11AM if there something major they need to talk to me about. And my friends have all agreed to respect my request. However members of my family think I'm being completely unreasonable and think if they want to call me they can. And I said if they do I will just block their number because I don't want to disturb my boyfriend while he is asleep. I've told all of them there is absolutely nothing so important that can't wait until 8pm to call. And its not like any of them go to bed before then. I've told them to text me (I have my notifications on silent) asking me to call them when I wake up and I'll call them back.

I'm just not seeing why this is such a horrible request. If I'm in the wrong can someone people point it out to me. Thanks ######

Response:
 NTA.

Do Not Disturb mode should be your best friend. You can set it so if a certain number calls X times in a row, it’ll ring like normal. In an actual emergency, hopefully they would call you more than once to alert you to the situation. ######


Prompt:
Guys, please tell me if I was too harsh with my roommate. I’m going to admit that I find her pretty annoying and slightly racist.

We live in an apartment building that caters to student housing. They rent by the bedroom, so I did not know my roommate before I moved in at the beginning of the semester ( she was there first and has had three other roommates)

Now, either she’s ignorant or racist but there are things that she does that bothers me. She constantly asks me questions about “black” things. Think, “Do black people really....” When she saw me make my dinner one time she said “wow black people really can cook!” And offered to pay me to cook for her. She calls me “boo”. She just seems like an alien that has never met a black person before.

The thing that annoys me most is that she is constantly asking me to teach her how to twerk and shake her ass, or to do it myself. I am actually a ballet dancer, and while I have nothing against ass shaking, it annoys me that it is all that I am boiled down to.

Before this whole lock down mess it was easy to avoid her. Now I’m stuck with her and she’s getting on my nerves.

Last night she busted into my room playing Ass by Big Sean on her phone. I was reading. She had a bit to drink and started asking me to dance with her and show her how to twerk. I told her no. And she begged me, saying “come on I want to learn!” I said “It’ll he hard to learn with no ass...” And she actually got super upset about that y’all! She started yelling about how she was trying to have fun with me, calling me stuck up, and *crying*.

She went to her room and left me alone for the rest of the night, this morning I said hello to her and she’s ignoring me. It seems like I really hurt her feelings. At the same time, maybe it taught her not to bother me. Idk, am I an asshole for saying she has no ass? ######

Response:
 NTA.

But now she probably thinks black people are rude, as you are somehow the official spokesperson.

She'll survive. ######


Prompt:
 My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been together 21 years married 18. I have a low capacity stomach. I am the type who orders a single burger, no fries and drink, and be full. It's been a running joke in our marriage that I eat like the birds.

Anyway, he is out of work (chef) and we decided it would be best for him to extend his quarantine time due to him being high risk. Since then he has become a huge "food pusher." He asks if I'm hungry and I ask for 1 egg and he brings me 4. Or he insists on making my plate and gives me a large man sized portion.

What's worse -for me- is when i balk at the amount he laughs at me and says he "has faith I can finish it." When I don't he gets upset at me for wasting food. I feel like I'm being set up.

I have tried talking to him. I have tried being patient and telling myself he is overcompensating since he is out of work. But I am have gained 10lbs and am constantly nauseous from overeating. Yesterday I was finally fed up and forcefully asked "Why do you keep doing this?" He shut down and went for a walk. It's been strained cordiality ever since. ######

Response:
 NTA.

But I can see that as him being a chef maybe he’s missing his work a lot and finding it hard to get out of the habit of cooking a lot?

HOWEVER that being said.. you guys have been together since you were 16! He knows that this is what you are like. And he shut down when you asked him why he’s doing this? does he want you bigger? Is there something more weird going on? Me personally, i’d be telling him to back off or calmly explain that you’re making your own meals from now on as he obviously can’t respect your boundaries when it comes to food. ######


Prompt:
It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself & I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job & easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad & becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up & not the other.

So, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky & talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Being upset doesn’t negate your ability to send a quick text saying you won’t be in. ######


Prompt:
Awhile back, I (18F) had a doctor's appointment regarding some issues about my period. I hadn't had a period for about year, and I was getting worried, because I'm not sexually active.

My mom went with me to the doctor's appointment and into the room with me for the exam. When the doctor was having me lie down to listen to my breathing, she told the doctor that "you know, she has a lot of stretch marks". I didn't bring anything up about that at all during the exam, and it was quiet when she brought it up.

It was really embarrassing, and I tried not to cry, because I didn't want to cause issues at the doctor's office.

It wasn't until yesterday that I brought it up during a talk with her. I told her that I thought it was very rude to bring something up like that and it was mean. I told her that I don't go to her doctor's appointments and tell them about her stretch marks. She told me that she thought that the doctor should know about it. I told her angrily that if I thought it was important I would tell the doctor or the doctor would ask me about it.

My dad was nearby while we were talking and said that I was being rude to my mom who had good intentions and that I shouldn't have said that to her and should also apologize. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

And I find it incredibly weird and a bit creepy that, at 18yo, your mother still goes into the room with you for an exam. Unless my kids specifically requested me, I stopped doing that about age 12.

Also...why the hell would she know about your stretch marks? Doesn't she give you any privacy at all??? ######


Prompt:
Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.

When I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.

15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.

I snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson”

AITA ######

Response:
 NTA.

ALSO report them to your boss so they cut they shit. I wonder how many other times he’s taught a lesson. ######


Prompt:
At my local grocery store, there are parking spots designated for pregnant/ new moms and veterans.

I’m about 32 weeks pregnant with twins, or 7 months for those of you who don’t speak pregnant. I had to go to the grocery store and as I was pulling up, I noticed one of those spots open and took it. As I was getting out of my car another car pulled up and told me I couldn’t park there because it was for veterans. I said it was for pregnant women and veterans, and I was one of those 2 so I could park there. Guy in the car essentially said I didn’t need to park there and he deserved it because he was a vet. He then pointed out some parking spots close by and told me to park there. I said I was already parked, out of my car and well within my right to park in a spot designated for both of us, and it wasn’t my fault I got to it first. I gestured to the parking spots he did and said he could park there, and walked around his car to enter the store. As I was walking in, a guy who heard the interaction told me I should have just moved and that he fought for our country, I could have given up the spot, and when I walked by the man from the car he said I was very rude.

I called my mom on the way home from the grocery store to tell her about the weird experience, and she agreed that I should have just moved, and now I kind of feel like a dick.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

All respect to vets, but you are currently 7 months pregnant with TWINS, likely with swollen ankles and back pain. If he was able-bodied I believe you deserved that parking spot.

Either way, you were already parked and out of your car while he was perfectly capable of parking in one of the nearby spots. ######


Prompt:
I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.

The woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too "slutty" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.

As far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems.

Then, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.

The husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.

I said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.

But then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.

I said "Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.

She said no right away.

I then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said "Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?"

She cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.

AITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######

Response:
 NTA.

1. Your neighbor could’ve just as easily approached you calmly and asked you to stop whatever you were doing. She did not need to resort to homophobic slurs and name calling.

2. You approached her respectfully while putting her in her place. It’s funny how she never says any of this stuff when anyone else is around to hear her, but the second you try to call her out she denies it. If she can’t handle owning her hateful words in front of her family, that sounds like a her problem.

3. While you *could* have waited for a more private moment, she was very open about her attitude toward you and your friends from the get-go. She probably thought you’d never confront her. ######


Prompt:
We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money.

My girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time.

Now she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well.

Am I the asshole?

Edit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######

Response:
 NTA.

$300 for plants during this difficult time is irresponsible esp being unemployed. You have every right to be upset. I would’ve returned it for a refund. ######


Prompt:
Some context: I have a strict "no lending" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever.

Due to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.

Last month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.

Here's the thing though. I work 12/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.

Now, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.

But none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>I have a strict "no lending" policy on money

That's it, that's all you have to say. All the rest are justifications for not doing it, but you don't owe anyone any explanations, especially not under current circumstances. ######


Prompt:
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.

I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything.

Translation: "We know this is going to screw you over because it is literally impossible to have you take care of your cousin while you work 3 jobs. However, we do not want to acknowledge this fact openly because it would mean also accepting that we are metaphorically setting you on fire to make us feel less guilty about the crap job our daughter is doing as a a parent for her own kid."

Your grandparents are being assholes if they think there are more than 24 hours in the day or if they think you should be sacrificing your sleep/health to take care of your cousin. I would make a literal schedule, with each hour of the week blocked off with things such as time for sleep, shower/food, job 1, 2 and 3 (don't forget travel time, and bonus points if its color coded. Take it your grandparents and ask them what are hours of the day are remaiming to babysit. My guess that there really isn't any time with 3 jobs. Force them to openly acknowledge what they are making you sacrifice with this shit deal.

WTF is with these older adults parentifying the younger generation? ######