Prompt:
My GFs family is pretty "high class" or whatever you want to call it, they're basically the opposite of my family in many ways both financially and socially. My mum smokes and drinks a lot and is a single mother who has been married twice, while my GFs mum is the opposite. My mum and my family are not educated and most of them have not gone to university but my GFs family are all educated and really value education which my GF does as well. They're just more "well off" if you can say so and compared to my girlfriend I feel a bit stupid in many ways because she literally knows everything and can hold a conversation about anything while I'm just a simple car guy who is a welder.

So yesterday we were talking about the future and she just popped up "when will you get an education? I mean you can't be a welder forever can you"? I told her I don't know... i might go into a specialised field or something which requires education but then she said "it's still not very academic" She joked about how our kids will have one dad who works as a welder and a mum who works in something that is seen as "better". She was being very sarcastic about it and tried to make it seem as if it was not a mean thing to say. She went on and said "if you don't get an education then our kids will probably do the same, they probably want to be welders as well etc" she has previously "talked bad" about people who work in physical field where your body is required and she says that those people are stupid.

She has previously pointed out some things I do and joked about how "white trash" it is such as me smoking weed or liking cars. I have had a long day so I snapped at her and called her a "pretentious bitch". In return I was called an asshole and that she was only trying to help me but she was so rude about it. She is not talking to me right now.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I say this as a high school teacher -- not everybody needs to go to college. I'm not saying they aren't capable or don't deserve the chance if that's what they want. What I mean is, we have this glorified view of degrees, and while in some fields they are certainly valuable and necessary, in other fields they really aren't.

I have a master's degree, but I don't know how to weld. You HAVE an education; it simply isn't in academia. That does not make it less valuable, and it does not make you a lesser member of society. I can't condone partners calling each other names, but she does have a pretentious attitude about this and is clearly disrespecting you. Nobody deserves that from their partner. ######


Prompt:
where im from,the wifi is generally trash. to get the good wifi,you need to pay more. my family decided to get the better one,which is still pretty bad,because we live outside the city.we moved here 2 years ago when our house was finished.our neighbors are really nice,as they let us use their electricity when we were constructing our house.we share the gas to,but the bill is shared.i should mention that when they need the gas,they shut OUR gas down so they get more gas.other than that,theyre cool i guess.about two weeks ago,they asked one of my sisters if they could get the password for the wifi,because their wifi is down.sis didnt reply and kept the other convo going,whatever it was (i wasnt there).the neighbors girl asked again,and being the non confrontational weirdo that my sister is,she gave them the password. now,i wouldnt really mind if it was one person using it,but their whole SEVEN person family is using it,which really kills the speed for us.i recently downloaded brawlhalla,and i cant even play it.i get like 100-200 kbps,which really doesnt help me play.i've considered changing the password but my sister and mother think i shouldnt,as theyre "helping us by sharing the gas".

WIBTA if i change the password for my wifi which i pay for so i can play games ######

Response:
 NTA. I saw in the comments that you were the one paying for the wifi. If that's the case then you are absolutely in the right to change the password.

This is actual hilarious as I was in this same predicament a few years ago. I had online classes but due to my neighbors entire family being connected to the wifi as well, the internet would run really slow which was hampering my school work. I ended up offering to take over the internet bill (my mom was paying it before. It was supposed to be used by my 2 sisters and I for school work but we were all experiencing this same situation). Immediately after taking over the bill I changed the password. Nobody else knew it and I would be the one to input the password into their devices so there would be no chance of them sharing it to anyone else.

This may be a bit extreme but our neighbors were actually our uncle and his family which is why my mom had felt the need to give them the password. I however did not feel the same as I considered my uncle to be a freeloader. ######


Prompt:
I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back.

Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair.

Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media.

This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######

Response: NTA. I read a story once where she would look up their info and send screenshots to their mothers. 🤔 ######


Prompt:
I’m pretty sure I am in the right because my intention is solely to keep her healthy...but I feel terrible about it sometimes.

My grandma is 72 with Alzheimer’s. She does not understand that Advil, Motrin, Bayer, etc...are all essentially the same thing. She will take a couple Motrin for her headache, then 30 min later take Advil for her back pain. Sometimes she will forget when she took them and take them too close together.

This only came to my attention when she had stomach pain and was then diagnosed with gastritis, and me being home all day due to the shutdown. So I told her I’m hiding all those pills because she abuses them and everyday she comes to me asking for more for some new pain she has.

I ask now because I just found like 15 pills god around the house.

Am I being the asshole by not giving her access to subdue her pains? ######

Response:
 NTA. I only worked with dementia patients for a short time, but came to understand that they don't always know if they are in pain. We had a lady that always told us her leg was sore and we couldn't touch it during personal care; not to say she wasn't in pain but long story short, the doctor who her daughter discussed a poss hip replacement basically said those with dementia might just be saying it because they remember it being sore at one point - if that makes sense?

Maybe you could make a chart with the meds and times with grandma? Explain to her that whenever she has a pill for pain (maybe list them?) you'll mark it off and make sure she does it with you. You may have to repeat yourself each time but it may be a way of reducing her intake further and you could even just keep only one brand, and tell her they're different? I'm not sure what they are exactly as I'm UK ... because she could also remember you're keeping them from her and she may start accusing you of stealing them and other things, you're abusing her, you don't care etc...

These are only based on examples I have learned over the years from friend with relatives who have this awful disease, and I'm aware it varies wildly from person to person.

Speak to her doctor too before you do anything else.

I hope you get this sorted and that you and your Grandma are otherwise safe and well x ######


Prompt:
Basically I recently moved to America from Ireland in the last few months working in an IT. Now despite always finding Americans who say they're Irish or "plastic paddies" as we call them back in Ireland annoying, I knew when people say that in America, they just mean their heritage so "when in Rome, do as Romans do". So on occasion, when I tell people i'm Irish, i'd get the odd American saying "Oh cool i'm Irish too cause my great great great granddaddy was from Ireland" followed by cringey questions like "did you know we Irish were slaves too?" I'd let this slide, smile and nod and just to try to change the subject as soon as possible.

Now in the IT where I work, there's this woman (lets call her Julie) who claims to be Irish because of a grandparent I think and she was basically the plastic paddy stereotype e.g. "I have an Irish temper" and "I had too many Irish car bombs last night". Once again, I let it go because when in Rome. Then one day during a group meeting, when people asked me what its like in Ireland, she kept interrupting me and basically took over the conversation about what its like in Ireland despite admitting to never being. It got to the point where I was becoming visibly irritated but once again said nothing because when in Rome. Then when she went to the bathroom, people started laughing saying "you looked so annoyed there" and I made one comment saying to them "just because your great great grandfather once had a Guinness in Cork doesn't make you Irish" which all but one woman laughed at. That one woman turned out to be one of her closest friends.

Then Julie confronted me about mocking her because obviously her friend grassed. I then just told her straight up she's not Irish and to not speak over me when it comes to experiences in Ireland, and to "stay in your lane". She then went off in a huff and hasn't talked to me since. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I once had an Irish-American woman have a whole blow up row with me for calling the language Irish instead of Gaelic. The fact that I live in Ireland and have spoken Irish since I was 4 did nothing to dissuade her. It's incredible draining ######


Prompt:
First-time poster, long-time lurker.
For some context, I have a Dog and Two Cats, all of whom I love, and about a year ago, I started dating this woman who knew about my pets and how devoted I am to them beforehand. When this all started, we decided to isolate together, since we both work from home. This happened about five days ago.

My Girlfriend asked me to sit down so we could have a talk. I obliged, thinking the worst, and listened as she proceeded to launch into a rant about how she couldn't take living with animals anymore. The litter box smelled, the dog food smelled, the animals were annoying, ect. Everything under the sun was apparently a problem of epic proportions, and she couldn't handle having to live with them any longer.

At first, I thought she wanted to go back to her own house, but I was deadly mistaken. Instead, she told me that I had to make a choice - I could either have her and get rid of the animals, or never see her again and keep the pets.

I chose the pets. She left shortly afterwards.

Was I a jerk to choose them over her? Could we have worked something out? Her sister called a while later and called me an a##hole, and I just want opinions that are unbiased. ######

Response: NTA. I mean, what would happen if you got rid of your pets and you two broke up afterwards? Sounds to me like she didn't think living with animals would be as different or as cool as she thought... That or the novelty ran out so she wanted you to make her more comfortable. ######


Prompt: AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ######

Response: NTA. I mean, practically speaking, i'm not sure exactly what your options are, but he should definitely be paying if he wants to benefit from it. Your housemate is a huge asshole. ######


Prompt:
So my dad started a small business, and it grew to be pretty big. We have a few locations in our area. I’m going to be pretty vague about it for anonymity.

He and I always worked together on it, when I was little he would teach me about it, and in high school I helped work there, and I worked there throughout my 20s. He transferred ownership to me a few years ago because he was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn’t take the stress of running it full time, but he really still helped make all the big decisions.

He passed a few months ago, and I’ve recently gotten a call from my sister, who I haven’t talked to in a long time(probably 5 years now?). She never showed any interest in the business when she was young, and then after college moved away and hardly even called my parents. She’s lost her job and wants to work for me because it’s the “last memory of our dad”. I think she’s bullshitting and just wants a job where she’s not going to get fired because it’s family.

I told her no, and if she had any interest in it she would have shown it in the time our dad was still alive. My mom is telling me I should at least let her try to show she cares, but I don’t think I have any obligation to someone who left without so much as a visit to our dying dad, who now just wants the rewards for what we worked on.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I mean, its your business, you can hire whoever you want.

While it'd be nice if you could hook her up with a job, you are under no obligation to do so. ######


Prompt: (TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I mean, it's not like you really had the time to get attached to them, plus everyone processes loss differently. I can think of a lot more jerkish behavior than moving on from something you couldn't do anything about. ######


Prompt: I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I mean, I doubt you're super close to your boyfriend's 6 year old cousin, so it's not like your absence ruined the party for the kid or anything. Also, does he let you pick his outfits for him? No? Then I don't see what right he has to tell you what to wear. ######


Prompt:
My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this.

So they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people.

She says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.

Well, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about.

My mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.”

And I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”

She was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”

I was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”

She was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.”

But it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience.

So, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?

On a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ######

Response: NTA. I love this analogy. Sounds like she hasn't worked through her trauma enough to accept that she's wrong. Serious kudos to you for not accepting the racism you were raised in. ######


Prompt:
My family owns a successful property development firm. I reluctantly took a position with them because my father wants to take a less active role and my younger brothers aren't ready. While I work with my brothers and fathers, everyone is treated equally and it is very harmonious.

Lately, my SIL has been bouncing ideas off us and showing up to "help out" I'm not okay with either of that. I sarcastically asked my brother if she was looking for a job and he said she wasn't because she was happy being a SAHM. I told him that was good because no one's spouse is going to work here. That will bring too much drama. Then I told him she needs to stop hanging out like she has nothing better to do as he's no different than any other employee.

Not only does she float around but she's helping him his admin work even though we already have paid people to do that and now she's questioning business moves or offering her own. This has gone beyond a spouse showing up to go out to lunch but my brother disagrees.

I finally emailed her on my own and told her that this wasn't her business, she knows nothing about it and her ideas and showing up to help my brother was not wanted. This wasn't a family-issue. This was a business issue. I told her she's his wife, but in no way a member, stakeholder or employee.

Of course she cried to my brother that I "attacked" her when she was trying to be helpful and he has heat with me. ######

Response:
 NTA. I love people who think that because this is a family business she needs to be able to give an opinion. You already spoke to your brother but he most likely either ignored you or his wife ignored him. Or he did not get what you were saying.

Either way she can’t show up and “help”.  Either she works here or she does not. She is disrupting the office ######


Prompt:
Me and my roommates just moved into a new place. We are musical people and people give away old pianos for free all the time on FB marketplace and apps like Letgo. We found one we liked and enlisted the help of a friend with a truck to go pick it up. I asked the person on the app if 1pm was okay to pick it up and she said yes and said her house was located across from a post office in a specific town and that she'd give me the address when I was getting close. No biggie, logical enough.

As we got closer I messaged several times to try and get the address. No response. We get to the post office and wait a while for a response but dont get one. We knock on some doors of the houses across the street and ask if they knew the person on the app but no one did. We waited almost an hour. The app gives a general location of the seller, which was about a mile from where the post office was, so we drive that direction and miraculously we see the piano from the street in the garage if a house. We pull into the driveway and I go knock on the door, but the house seems abandoned.

The neighbors approach and we say are there to pick up the piano and they say to go ahead and watch as we put it in the truck. We go home, with the piano, get it in the house and settle in. The seller messages me on Letgo at 6pm absolutely furious that we took it. 5 hours after the agreed upon time, for a free item you could see from the road. She was not happy we found the address without her giving it to us proclaiming we could have taken anything even after I explained that her neighbors were there and we wouldnt have taken it if no one was there. ######

Response: NTA. I likely would have done the same thing. It was logically presumed that you could grab the piano. Besides, pianos aren't just sitting outside of houses on a regular day. Why were they furious? But if it came down to a legal matter, I think you'd likely lose. ######


Prompt:
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I'm still pissed from work. I'm a girl.

My new job is a very labor intensive job, moving heavy objects, pushing carts, packing shipping boxes. It's summer in the south on top of that, so it's hell hot. So of course I'm sweating with all the manual labor and the lack of ventilation in a metal sweatshop for 8+ hours a day.

I have a 'normal' type of deodorant, a 24 hours active sense one. Though, due to circumstances I can't get to the store and I ran out. I have a backup, a men's old spice one, I bought it because I like the smell. Very pine woodsy. It's a good cover all, and no matter how much I swear it works wherever my normal one I use when I know I am not going to be sweating alot, because I don't want to force people to smell my body odor of onion bagels.

So because of how much I sweat, I've been using the old spice one.  No more B.O! Everything was fine, my male co-workers, I work with mostly teenage boys, never noticed. Until today where do to an absence in the second shift I got to work in the less labor intensive area.

Today I sat down with the girls to unwrap CDs , and one of them commented how it smells like a guys here.

Me: oh yeah, I used old spice. I'd rather you not smell me, lol.

This girl, we'll call her Anna, freaked the fuck out. A few  seemed bothered and one of them told me it reminds her of her dad.

Things were said such as 'its unnatural, there's perfectly good girls deodorant!" And " are you gay?" And basically how I was a bitch because normal girls use floral deodorant and things designed for women and men had their own things made for them.

To me, it's fucking deodorant. I've know a few girls to do use ax, so why is this a thing? Still, I can't help but wonder if I'm a minority here.

AITA for using the 'wrong' deodorant? ######

Response:
 NTA. I laughed at “it’s unnatural”. You know what is actually natural?  Being sweaty and stinky because you don’t use deodorant at all.

I swear they put something in men’s deodorant that is stronger than women’s. ######


Prompt:
So my little sister is 7 and has a mild form of autism which makes her maturity level about a year or 2 behind where she is supposed to be.  I usually tuck her in for bed most nights cause she doesn’t really like my mom or dad doing it.

I do food delivery as a job right now, and I was working a lot lik from 8-8.  When I got home my sister was already in bed (her bedtime is 8:00 on school nights 8:30 on weekends) and I got home around 9 so she was asleep.

My mom told me that she was pissy when growing to bed cause I didn’t tuck her in, and my mom said I should have scheduled my hours earlier to be home.

Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: NTA. I know it could be difficult for your sister to be tucked in by different people, but since she was able to fall asleep soon after it, it doesn't look like it was much of a problem. Some parents would be proud of you for working hard, good job! ######


Prompt: So, my (23f) sisters (22f, 20f, 18f) are all home from college right now. So there are a lot of girls in the house and a lot of periods. I mostly use cloth pads, but when I have to use a disposable (mainly if I'm traveling or out of the house for a whole day, I hate carrying used pads in my purse) I have to use an expensive natural brand (7th Generation) because I have sensitive skin. If I try to use Always or store brands... it's not good. My sisters keep taking my expensive pads. I've asked them nicely 1-3 times each to please not take my pads. They said okay, sorry and continued to take them. So today when I was at the dollar store for groceries I went ahead and picked up some of the cheapest pads. 10 for a buck. These are one of the few cheap brands I can use and they work just fine, they are just bulky so I would rather not. I went ahead and hid my pads in my room. I put the pads in a basket that said "PADS FOR MOOCHERS". When my middle sister saw it she got mad. She said the sign was insulting and the pads I got were "horrific garbage". My other sisters and mom agreed. They want me to put my pads back in the bathroom because I "don't use them that much anyway". I said sure if they chip in for the cost but they said no because their student jobs closed down when the colleges did. So for some reason I should have to pay for their pads even though my job is closed too. I do have some savings but my parents were able to keep working from home and would gladly give them a bit of spending money if they asked nicely. I think maybe I should have just put the pads out without a sign but was I really the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA. I know from experience that 7th Generation is pricey. My mother is literally allergic to most pads (and sadly, 7th Gen doesn't pass the mark because I think it uses wood instead, and she's allergic to pine), and I just finished my period and have a rash myself.

If I were you, I'd keep your 7th Gen pads in your dresser or somewhere not in the bathroom. It isn't an adequate solution, but clearly your other period-having family members are not willing to conform for your needs. ######


Prompt:
I've had this phone number for 3 years. Since then, I receive many texts from the guy asking for verification codes and security codes sent to my number. The verification codes have started to seem scammy, including Google verification codes from non-Google numbers. And he asks me to send the code so he can verify his identity.

For years, I've been okay with it because I figure it can't hurt to help this guy out. But now, after years, I'm fed up and I'm starting to think my own identity is in danger from this guy still using my cell phone number.

After the most recent suspicious interaction I've had (the various Google verification codes) I decided to just block him. I feel bad, AITA? Should I unblock him and continue to help him unlock his accounts? ######

Response: NTA. I know 0 about whether or not your identity is actually at risk, but this situation is super sketchy. Clearly, he has a new phone. He can use that number. You've had the patience of saint for even putting up with it this long. ######


Prompt:
A friend was just complaining that he got an Amber Alert close to 3 in the morning. I just casually showed him that you could switch it off. He thanked me, and I guess he showed it to a bunch of people.

Eventually that spread until my girlfriend found out that I switched off my Amber Alerts and confronted me about it. She said that I didn’t care about little kids being stolen, and that the reason why Amber Alerts work is because the entire community gets them. “It’s the price we pay to live on a society”. Yeah, no, I pay my taxes. My reasoning was that it’s my phone, and I get to modify it however I want. This has caused a big rift in our relationship.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I just wish I could shut off that frickin' "Presidential Alert". ######


Prompt:
An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out  for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.

When she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).

So of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!

No response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.

I reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.

I texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.

I called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.

So they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.

So..  AITA?? ######

Response: NTA. I have had to call the police for 2 wellness checks in the past. Its not easy. I hope your friend can learn to forgive you and understand that you did it for them. ######


Prompt:
This is pretty fucking embarrassing but my girlfriend is insisting I write on here to get judgement so here we go.

I’ve got a bit of a dodgy belly pretty much always. I’m not sure why, doctor has never really paid attention to it when I bring it up other than changing my diet (which I’ve done a million times but doesn’t help) and basically every morning and evening like clockwork I need to go and use the shitter. It’s painful, embarrassing, and idk why it happens to me but there we go.

My girlfriend of 4 years knows this and she often laughs at me because I disappear for long bouts of time. It isn’t fun, my stomach fucking cramps and hurts and I ain’t going for the fun of it.

Anyway yesterday evening my girlfriend decided to set herself up a nice bath including candles, wine, etc. I told her I might need the bathroom but she said I should be fine since I hadn’t eaten all day.

Well after around 10 mins as she’s running her bath, all of a sudden the urge comes and I’ve learned not to fucking question the urge because otherwise it’s bad news for me and my underpants. I ran past her to go to the loo shouting sorry I need to go, and it was all I could do to slam the door shut let alone anything else.

She’s absolutely furious with me and thinks that I’m the arsehole because I didn’t take time to cover her wine or anything, I’m bloody pissed off with her because it’s not like I can help it and she’s making me feel stupid for not ‘holding on’ like I should have in her opinion. ######

Response: NTA. I have friends with IBS and when they need to go they need to GO. Yeah, it would have been nice to have gotten her wine out of there first, but it is what it is. She knows your situation and is being unreasonable. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.

My mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.

Today, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.

AITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ######

Response: NTA. I have children your age, and I would never crawl into bed with them. Your mom has a problem with boundaries. If it's a continuing problem and she won't listen to you, perhaps discuss with your other parent or an aunt/uncle? Best wishes. ######


Prompt:
So Let me start off by saying that I am in the 8th grade and my sister is in the 11th

Since online class has started I have been struggling with the work load, combined with other tutoring lessons I usually have to work into the weekend which does not please my parents at all, which I understand because then I can’t do other stuff like hiking or doing walks with them.

It was all fine until they sat me down one afternoon to tell me that I was not meeting my expectations that they have set for me and that I should be working harder like my sister. Who has her work done in the first 3 days of getting the assignment. They carried on repeating themselves about how I should be more like my sister and all that.

This occurred about 1 month ago and since then they have been constantly telling me to work harder like my sister. Until I finally just snapped yesterday, I started to break down with tears forming in my eyes and I started saying
“ Stop fucking comparing me to my sister, please!”.

I know I probably went overboard for that but it was all the emotion that I had built up over this time and I know I probably am the ass hole , but I just want more opinions on this.

Currently I have still not had another long interaction since yesterday but I hope we can settle since soon.

Also sorry I know formatting is bad, sorry for that I’m on phone. Also I know it’s not as good as the others on here but I just needed to talk,
Thank you for reading. ######

Response: NTA. I have been compared to my siblings during a long time (they are both very hard workers) and it feels terrible. Your sister probably love online classes and you’re struggling a little and that’s fine. Your parents should understand that instead of constantly comparing they should help you with your work (help you planning, answer some questions you have, help you if you have pc problems,...) ######


Prompt: One of my high school best friend is getting married and it’s a big deal for her we’ve talked about this as long as I can remember. I’m really happy for her but I am a full time college student and I work on top of volunteer work for my major. I would really like to help but if I’m being realistic it’s an extra thing I can’t really deal with at the moment. She is very upset with me and doesn’t understand why I don’t have time to help. Yesterday she texted me that if I can’t start helping more she no longer wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I told her I completely understand and to be honest I was upset but I can’t promise her time I don’t really have at the moment. Me saying I understand if she doesn’t want me to be a bridesmaid anymore apparently upset her more and my friends are now all upset with me and want me to basically beg her to be a bridesmaid. I would like to be apart of her wedding but I don’t want to beg her for it and promise to help her when I honestly don’t have the time so AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I have been a bridesmaid over 20 times (big, big, big extended family and lots of friends) and I’ve seen this exact scene play out 25% of the time. Sometimes, women who have been planning their weddings for a long time forget that it is not the focus of other people’s lives as well. You cannot commit the time or money she wants out of you for this, so you were honest and accepted her decision. Asking you to beg for it is just some drama bs, don’t do it. She’ll be fine again a couple weeks after her wedding, or she’ll lose her entire mind and you’ll never have to speak to her again, but neither of those outcomes are under your control. ######


Prompt:
Will provide more context if needed, it's a lot to fit in to 3000 characters. Using my throwaway since this is quite personal.

My mother died around 2.5 years ago. I now live with my father, and two of my three brothers. My youngest brother is very high functioning autistic (Please excuse my language here, I know the term high functioning isn't the best but I'm not sure what the appropriate term is, please feel free to correct me and I'll change it in an edit). He's 13 now, very keep-to-himself, just likes to play on the computer, go to the shops, and go for walks. He does have some behavioural issues, such as having huge meltdowns whilst watching TV because he doesn't like what happens on it. None of us are very close with my dad since he was the breadwinner, and he wasn't a huge part of our lives until our mum passed. Obviously now we see him all the time.

After my mum passed, my dad told me that in the will, I will get my youngest brother's share of the inheritance and be financially responsible for him. In my understanding, this means he goes into my care. I was never asked if I was okay with this, I was just told about it. I believe this was decided because since he was born I was actively helping out, and I started babysitting semi-regularly when I was about 10. Whenever my mum would worry herself about who would look after him in the future, I'd chip in with "It's okay, I'll do it!", because 10 year old's don't really think about consequences. I continued saying I'd take him on until I was around 16 because secondary school brought on some strong depressive episodes and I genuinely didn't think I'd be around past age 18, so again, a non-adult not thinking about the consequences.

Me and my brothers discuss it regularly because we know even if we all pool money together, we can't afford a care home, but I don't know what options we have really. I guess I just want to know, AITA for not wanting to become a carer? ######

Response: NTA. I have a similar situation with a severly mentally and physically handicapped sister. Tell your dad that you don't want to be a carer. You don't have to do this, but my siblings and I agreed to give up our inheritance so that it could go into a trust to take care of our handicapped sister. You do not have to be a carer for your brother. But tell your dad so that he can prepare ######


Prompt: My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######

Response:
 NTA. I have a gluten allergy (and some other foods) which sucks but I would never ever tell my SO they can’t have that stuff!

(They take precautions for me.) ######


Prompt:
My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.

Yesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 /10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10/10

He accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######

Response: NTA. I have a friend who’s also extraordinarily like your friend, and it’s to the point where it’s obnoxious. Even if they DID meet a person who lived up to their physical standards, it’s unlikely that person will also meet their other standards too. Personally, I would much rather a partner who I can chat with and has similar likes as me, over them being my 10/10. ######


Prompt:
Hey There.

My parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.

Sorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ######

Response: NTA. I have a feeling your mom is lying about why you didn’t have contact with them. Just because you have money doesn’t mean other people have a right to it. $50k is a ton of money and they should be grateful for that. You might just want to wait until she’s an adult, so there is no chance of your mom spending the money. Also, if this aren’t her grandparents in any way, why should she be entitled to benefit off of it? ######


Prompt:
Earlier today, me and my mom had an argument about me not liking dogs, I told her my reasons but as it seemed, she refused to accept it. I went back to my room and thought that it is all over. Few hours later, she called me to help her with the laundry, I wasn't thinking much about it and went to help her, however, she started telling me that persons who don't like dogs are in fact horrible people and have problems with their inner selves, I asked why she thinks so and she just said ,,I have 45 years of an experience and that's more than you have" and now, she don't want to talk to me until I change my view on dogs..

Am I the asshole?

(Sorry for my English, not a native English speaker) ######

Response: NTA. I have 46 years of life experience so I know better than your mom: your mom is wrong - you are completely normal. I don’t like dogs either; they are one of the most annoying pets. So don’t worry about what your mom said, she clearly has problems with her inner self and is projecting onto you. ######


Prompt:
Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.

My wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.

My wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.

I am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota.

She says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. I hate to say it but if entitled family in-law are a common issue for you, you might want to downsize. ######


Prompt:
I had recently had a huge falling out with my family. Long story short, my siblings and parents wanted me to leave all my money to my nieces and nephews, I told them where they could go and threatened to stop paying for my parents' assisted living if they kept this nonsense up. I think the possibility of loosing their cushy lifestyle spooked my parents, because suddenly their tune had changed from "You're so selfish" to "aww! we didn't mean it. Lets talk". So, after they kept pestering me have a word with them in person,  I invited them over.

&#x200B;

Now my parents know damn well that chocolate is bad for dogs, but my mom has tried to give them some on many occasions. When I tell her off she always comes back with "but maybe they like it" and "I was just being nice". This time when they came over, I left them in the living room and went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. While I was there, one of my dogs came over to greet them. I could see them from the kitchen. My mom petted him for a while, then reached into her purse and pulled out a bar of chocolate. She broke off a piece and was about to give it to him when I stormed over and knocked it out of her hands.

&#x200B;

My parents looked shocked. I was enraged. Even after being told repeatedly that chocolate is bad for dogs, they just didn't get it. When I asked my mom what the hell she was doing, my dad actually started yelling at me and told me I was being rude. I told them either they were complete morons or they were intentionally trying to hurt my dog. I told them I was sick of their BS and that they were on very thin ice with me. When they tried to argue back, I grabbed my dad by the arm and walked him out the door. My mom followed, crying.

&#x200B;

My sister has sent me a text, berating me and calling me cruel for trying to protect my dog.

&#x200B;

I think my reaction was appropriate. But I'd like to know what you think. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I hate to say it but I think you mom might have been giving the chocolate on purpose. Don't ever let them near the dogs again. They're horrible people it seems. ######


Prompt:
In have this new coworker, 22F.  She has been here less than a year and comes with a limited amount of experience.  Nonetheless she is a very Type-A coworker and has identified herself a future manager.  As such she is very directive in talking and often points at people when addressing them, snaps her fingers when requesting information or asking/telling someone to do a job.  We all take turns in the position of “workload supervisor” and she is a little overbearing when it’s her turn.

A while ago I told her immediately after a finger snapping incident (she was requesting information and was snapping to get my attention and  was quite persistent) that she needs to stop.  She sort of agreed but really just defended her actions as she said she just wants to make sure things are done right. I told her no, never again, it’s disrespectful.  I have since told her on 2 more separate occasions to stop.  She persists.

AITA for wanting to make her stop snapping?  (Hey, flipnsip. *snap* I need this done. *snap* *snap* Now. ** )

For the record, manager is aware of her type-a leanings and just believes that is how she is.  Most coworkers hope she grows up and stops.  They find her irritating and immature but hope she is either going to improve or go on maternity leave.  At no point is her work anything other than average no matter her own perceived level of importance. I honestly try to avoid her but cannot stand the *snapping*. Not at me or any other coworker. ######

Response: NTA. I hate that crap, you're not a dog, you're a human being. If she has such an issue where she feels constantly compelled to do it, tell her to put her hands in her pockets or something. Ik it's usually not an intentional kinda thing so just be nice about it ######


Prompt:
So I met with a friend this past weekend to chat. We're both 21M white guys and go to the same college, but live about 45 minutes away. We decide to meet halfway at this one cafe.

Anyways, we're chatting about various life topics and the discussion of haircuts come up. He says that not being able to get a haircut is good because he can "blend in" with everyone having bad haircuts (or something along those lines.) Now I've gone to places such as Great Clips my whole life, and started going to a local black barbershop about 3 years ago. The difference was night and day in terms of both the experience and quality of haircut.

So I said to him, "You should try going to a black barbershop. They always get you right" and told him about how good my hair always is, and how the barbers make you feel at home. He responded with a simple "yeah I understand." And we changed the conversation and everything was good I thought.

Today I texted him and asked if he wanted to meet again and he texted back saying he'd be happy to but added "don't bring up weird topics again" I asked him what he meant and he brought up what I told him and said I was borderline racist?? I don't understand what exactly I did wrong in this situation and confused on how it could be racist.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I go to an African-American owned hair salon with African-American barbers and hairstylists and with majority African-American customers. I am not black. I go there because I feel the owner is the absolute best hairstylist in my entire city. I send people of all races to her salon. I always have great haircuts and a great time there.

There is nothing racist about supporting any locally owned small business. ######


Prompt: A few days ago I (20m) was out at the supermarket getting a few things when a girl came up to me and asked for my number saying I look "cute". Problem is I'm gay as you can probably guess from my name. Me never experience this before tried to be as polite as possible and told her "thank you I'm flattered but I'm gay, sorry about that". I thought all would be good after that but she got upset and started ranting about how all the guys are turning gay and proceeded to call me a f_g and tr_nny for some reason (I'm not trans at all so that was confusing. I having the true blue potty mouth I have called her a c_nt and told her good luck finding a guy who wants to put up with c_nt like you. When i got home I told my sister what happened and she called me TA saying that I have no right to call a woman a c_nt and that I should consider myself lucky she would even ask me for my number. So I'm here getting the opinion of the people, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I get that word is a lot more offensive in the US than it is here, and you shouldn't engage with people who have a poor IQ for a glass of water, but i mean, if the shoe fits. ######


Prompt:
Ok.

So I drive trucks for a living and I'm not home all the time to fix things when they break down or mess up.

We have a dwindling rat problem that's slowly being taken care of by the exterminator that I pay to come to my house once a month.

So the rats that are remaining in the house decided to crawl up into the backside of my washer and chew holes into the drain hose of the washer letting water either leak out or shoot out depending on if the washer is running or not.

My wife called to tell me that the rats have chewed a hole in the drain line and that it needed to be fixed. I told her that I would be home in a few days and that's when I'd be able to fix it. The part including shipping is roughly $30. The washer itself is only 3 years old. Still works great.

She calls me back a few hours later and tells me that she spent over a $1000 for a new washer and gets mad at me for getting pissed that she would waste over 30x the amount it would take to fix the old one, proceeds to yell at me and call me a asshole for getting pissed while she's stating that she needs to be able to do laundry for the next few days until I get home.

Edit: Wife and kids at home with no washer for 2 days. ######

Response: NTA. I get not wanting to go without a washer for days, but why didn't she just *call a repairman?!* ######


Prompt:
So my (22F) parents (50+) were in the backyard doing some gardening and planting flowers today and left the garage door open. They have a few extra of certain supplies and made a care package for one of my friends who is struggling and left it on the front porch.

They have security cameras and were surprised when the supplies went missing before my friend had a chance to pick it up. I ended up getting a call (as I do not currently live with them but will be back there in a month) that someone came by, went into their garage for a while, then came out went to the front door, tried the door handle, and then took the package and walked away. Eventually the guy came back went into our garage again for a really long time, and then left again.

I am worried that they may be planning to break into the house or have stolen something and want to post a PSA on Facebook to look out for this sketchy kid (he seems about 17-19). When I told my parents this my mom said no because they don’t want to ruin his life, but I am worried why he would spend so much time in my parents house.

WIBTA if I went against my mother’s wishes and posted the information anyways? ######

Response: NTA. I genuinely hate when people let bad people get away with things because "it will ruin their life." Who cares? They have no remorse or care for other people, so why should they be protected? They already stole from you once and will almost definitely do it again. ######


Prompt:
As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!

I don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense.

Fast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.

Now, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell.

I told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin.

So, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)

They were argumentative, so I told my cousin.

Of course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result.

Somebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.

AITA, and if so, why? ######

Response: NTA. I find lying to children about their biological parents to be one of the most disrespectful and horrible things an adult guardian/parent can do. Children deserve to know this information when they are old enough to process. Adults keeping this from children for their own selfish reasons is wrong. If I was your cousin I would be thankful that at least one person in my family respected me enough to not lie to me. ######


Prompt:
My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense, and then she said something that stopped the argument. It was basically “Go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care! I wish you’d just shoot yourself and get out of my freaking LIFE!” Afterwards, she looked horrified and tried to apologise but I ran up to my room.

This really upset me because our dad shot himself when we were little. He’s part of the reason for all our arguing. She feels really bad about what she said and has constantly tried to apologise to me, but I refused to listen. She’s said bad stuff to me before, but this is worse because of our dad. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I feel like in the heat of arguments we say things we don't really mean especially with our siblings. It's almost inevitable. I've had this same exact experience happen with my sister and me as well at another person's house. Yes, in front of our parents. Its embarrassing looking back on it, but it's important as long as you two make up then things will be okay again. ######


Prompt:
Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a  teenager.

Living with her was detrimental to my mental/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.

She's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.

Today, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ######

Response: NTA. I feel for her and her situation. But you have to put yourself and your health first. ######


Prompt: My (22 F) family is very religious, I am not but I respect it . I am the only child that still lives at home. We are not a close family but we do have weekly dinner’s where my other two siblings come to (25 M) (30F). My mother (65 F) uses this weekly dinner to insult me during her “prayers” before dinner. Think “Dear God please help us for SOME members of our family are cold and heartless” and “Dear God please help SOME of us for being evil”. I usually interject and say that a prayer is not the time to insult me. Then she says that’s what prayers are for and it’s rude to interrupt a prayer. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I dont think theres anything wrong with defending yourself. Also to me that's not praying, its using religion as an excuse to be nasty. ######


Prompt: He threw a fit after me and my mom were cleaning my sisters room, and I accidentally dropped a glass. He then unloaded the dishwasher, re-arranged the kitchwn dish layout, and moved my moms cups to a place where she can barely reach them. I sent him that, and he responds "They where there for half the time we lived here" I go "Well it hurts her back to get them, and she shouldnt have to climb to get them. I get payed to do the dishes, she does them 2/7 days a week, and he does them once a month, if that, and me and mom do 97% of cooking. ######

Response:
 NTA. i dont give a fuck who pays for the house, whoever cooks and cleans the kitchen most of the time, the kitchen belongs to them.

Also, u getting payed to do the dishes? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and half now. Bloodwork came back all great, sperm analysis came back great. There are a few more diagnostic tests I can have done, but COVID has thrown a wrench in those plans as of late.

My mother in law is a newly graduated sonographer, but DOES NOT work in an OB/GYN setting. She does diagnostic work for veins, the heart, kidneys (I'm probably describing her job poorly) - but she does not work with the uterus, fertility, at all, whatsoever, period.

She is understandably impatient because she wants me to "get pregnant already" (all 3 of her children were not planned) and every time she sees me, she has a new BS diagnosis for me that she likely read online. So she is CONVINCED that my uterus is fucked up and backwards, upside down, etc. you name it - and won't stop asking me to scan my uterus and what not. But ... I really don't feel comfortable having my anatomy looked at - MUCH LESS DIAGNOSED from someone who is not a doctor and does not specialize in this field.

I know she means well, but I really wish she'd stop acting like I'm broken. ######

Response: NTA. I don’t use strong language very often here, but tell her to fuck off. Your uterus is your business, not hers. ######


Prompt:
Hi all,

I’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism/ADHD/etc.
I have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.

One of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.

J is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.

I decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.
She immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.
I got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA. I don’t think “mental issues” is the right way to say it, but it sounds like that’s not how you worded it to his mom. Seems like you’re looking out for his best interest. It’s your job to keep the kids safe and teach them, and you can’t teach everyone if you need to spend the entire class with him. It’s not fair to him OR the other kids. Mom is in denial and needs a serious wake up call. If she doesn’t seek help for his sensory needs now, how TF does anyone expect him to grow up into a functioning adult? ######


Prompt:
So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them.

I told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.

She said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.

She then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place).

I told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous.

I’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I don’t necessarily disagree it would be nice for your husband to get over himself a bit more (or for you to ask, idk if he actually says no). You are pregnant, after all, and I’m sure you don’t like all the struggles that come with it any more than he would like giving you a few more foot rubs and stuff.

You should be in this together, and the bulk of it falls on you already, so it sounds unfair and not like the healthiest relationship if you feel like you should take on all of it so he’s not bothered. Then idk if he really just has a thing against foot rubs and he’s caring and generous in every other way, but just pointing that out.

What your friend does is definitely manipulative and immature, anyway. Messed up, childish, and totally something that you had every right to call her out on. ######


Prompt:
Posting this for my sister! We’ll call her Maggie.

31 years ago Maggie and her twin brother were born to our mom, and her birth father, (John) walked out on them and our mom. Our mom didn’t seek child support or custody, as John left the state and dropped all contact. He was an addict and had no interest in being a father.

A few years later, our mom met my dad and they got married, had me, and my dad helped raise Maggie and our brother.

Again, my mom never received any child support from John.

A few years ago Maggie found John on Facebook and saw she had other siblings from him so she added them and John on Facebook to try and get to know them. She’s not close with John, but she’s spoke with him off and on to wish him happy birthdays and holidays etc.

Because of what’s going on in the world, everyone here got a stimulus check. Today, John messaged Maggie and said “tell your mom your welcome” and when Maggie pressed him, he said “she got 850 from my stimulus check. When you were little she wouldn’t let me see you so I wouldn’t give her money.”

Let me stress, our mom didn’t get any extra money. So whatever money he’s talking about, we didn’t get anyway.

Maggie was shocked and said “I should thank you for not supporting us?” And he blamed our mother for that.

Maggie said “sorry but I don’t agree. No matter the circumstance a parent should support his children. Mom never bad mouthed you and I understand you had a hard life with addiction and jail. But don’t expect gratitude for the government taking money from you because you didn’t do the right thing 30 years ago.”

It’s been a couple of hours but my sister is now worried she was an asshole to say that to him.

So, Reddit, is my sister TA for saying this to her birth father? ######

Response: NTA. I don’t know where the $850 he thinks he deserved went, but without formal custody and child support order in place, nothing went to your mom. ######


Prompt:
My wife (33f) and I (43m) have three kids from 3 to 10. She is a stay-at-home mom because I make enough money to support the whole family, she prefers not to work, and she wouldn't make enough to cover daycare for the preschoolers if she worked.

Anyway, even before my job went to work-from-home, she put minimal effort into taking care of the house, and more often than not, we would eat out because she didn't want to cook, and I'd often get home too late to cook myself. Most days I'd come home to the house an utter wreck, with clothes, toys, food, and trash from one end of the house to the other (she usually fed the kids on the sofa while she played on her computer). I'd clean the house as best I could with the limited time I had, only to find the house trashed the next day I got home from work.

Now that I'm working from home, I'm doing practically everything. Preparing every meal, changing the 3yo, teaching 10yo, cleaning house, doing virtual Taekwondo with the kids, baths, bedtime, on top of working 40 hours a week. Many days she won't even get out of bed, just getting her laptop from her nightstand and playing her online game (often expecting me to bring her meals in bed). If she does leave the bed, it's to go sit at the desk and play. She literally plays her game from when she wakes up until she goes to sleep.

I'm overwhelmed, overworked, and tired. There's no physical disability keeping her from taking care of thing, although she does have a learning disability and Asperger's.

I'm at the point of shutting off and/or severely limiting her Internet access during the daytime to get her off the computer, pay more attention to us, and do things around the house. But, she's a grown woman, so part of me feels that putting child safety restrictions on her computer would be infantilizing and demeaning.

So, WIBTA for shutting down my wife's ability to play her online game to get her to help me take care of the house and kids? ######

Response: NTA. I don’t know that this is the best way to deal with your problem, but clearly you have to do something because you basically have four kids now and no partner. It is possible that she’s just being lazy, but it sounds like there’s something very wrong here. She needs to speak with her doctor if she’s not getting out of bed. Did she used to be more active? ######


Prompt:
I am 16 and I am FTM trans, my parents know about this but deny it. Say they need more proof before they accept it.

One of the things I have never done is shave my legs. Although my mom always calls me a slob, disgusting and every name under the book. Last night she called me the most disgusting human being for no shaving my legs and I snapped at her, telling he I will never ever shave my legs and she'd have to tie me down to a chair and do it herself if it ever happened. This made her in turn call me a selfish brat who doesn't care about anyone but *her*self, and I would never get anywhere in the real world with how I act. ######

Response: NTA. I don’t care what gender you are - your body, your body hair, your business, period. ######


Prompt:
My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us.
I generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.
A few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue.
Am i overreacting? Aita? ######

Response: NTA. I don't want anyone to have my face as their phone background honestly. totally weird for him to do that. it seems like this dudes got some serious feelings for you and maybe reconsider the friendship if he seems this hung up on it ######


Prompt:
Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language.

Throwaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad.

I (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.

Basically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this

Gay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you.

Me: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend.

GG: That's all you're going to say?

Me: Yeah? What am I supposed to say?

GG: Don't you like me back?

Me: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship.

GG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))

Me: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you

GG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))

Of course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.

so reddit

AITA for not liking a gay girl? ######

Response: NTA. I don't understand why people are calling you an asshole for not cheating on your boyfriend. It seems like they might be playing on the AWFUL stereotype that everyone who identifies as bi is a cheater. Also nobody should shame you for not being attracted to someone. ######


Prompt:
My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.

I decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######

Response: NTA. I don't think she's being stupid, though. I think she wants to be a victim and play martyr. ######


Prompt:
I recently made an online clothing purchase, which I was really excited about. I expressed my excitement to my boyfriend while the package was in transit. Once it arrived, I put on one of the shirts and sent a picture to my boyfriend. He responded “wtf is that?” With laughing emojis and when I said “wow” back, he responded with “you can’t be serious right?”

I expressed to him that I was upset about what he said. I suggested to him that instead of making rude comments he should just say I look nice (even if he doesn’t think so). He seemed baffled at this request and asked if I wanted him to “just be a fake person”.

He tried to clarify that he didn’t mean I looked ugly, only that he didn’t picture me to wear something like that. He said I was overreacting and that I “love to make arguments out of nothing”.

So, AITA for being upset over something so small? ######

Response:
 NTA. I don't necessarily think that the solution here is for him to say you look nice, but he certainly shouldn't have made fun of you and belittled you like that. Him saying you make arguments out of nothing is a deflection because he doesn't want to admit he was being insensitive.

Of course, I suppose it depends on what the shirt was... if it was actually a Barney costume or some sort of thing that looks like it could be intentionally absurd, that would change my answer. ######


Prompt:
We just moved in to our neighborhood and our neighbors across from us have young child (around 4 years old). Every morning before the dad goes off to work he honks and horn and the little kid yells “BYE”. This happens anywhere from 7:45-8:30 every morning before work. This wakes myself and my fiancée up every single morning as our bedroom window faces their house that’s only 200 ft away from our ears. We roll our eyes and groan and then fall back asleep.

My fiancée and I had a discussion about this and while we think it’s adorable in theory it’s still super annoying. AITA if I politely confronted them or left them an anonymous letter?

TLDR; neighbors honk horn early in the morning to say bye to their kid, AITA for being annoyed? ######

Response:
 NTA. I don't know that your neighbors are intentionally being A's either, it seems like they're trying to be cute and might just be unaware of the volume. But because I personally don't think you should be proactively making any outside noise at all prior to like 9 AM, I've opted to go with NTA. Someone in my old neighborhood tried to fire up a weed-wacker at 7 AM one day, and I'm not going to say I screamed out the window for them to stfu, but I'm not going to say I *didn't* either.....

If you give them a heads up politely and tactfully (moreso than what I did) you would not be an A and you're not the A for being annoyed by it. If they opt to continue doing it though for their kid's sake, you might just want to invest in ear plugs rather than die on this hill. Good luck! ######


Prompt:
Hello,

I am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.

My mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.
My mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.

Maybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.

My mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: "You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her."

My dad doesn't know about this.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I don't imagine you have much spare income as a part time waitress. Your sister has two parents and lives with her boyfriend. It's not reasonable to expect you to give her money. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.

I recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful.

Today I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home.

He made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ######

Response: NTA. I don't even have words for what a ridiculous child your husband is acting like. Throwing a fit over a rainbow t shirt is both controlling and homophobic. He does indeed have a problem with gay people if the thought of anyone mistaking you for one throws him into a tizzy. ######


Prompt:
Over the last couple weeks, I’ve seen chalk drawings pop up on the sidewalks. Nothing wrong with that and some of the “art” is encouraging like little “obstical courses”.

However. This afternoon I came outside to see someone drew a huge cross in chalk on my driveway along with #HeIsRisen and Happy Easter. I took out my hose and washed the away the chalk drawing and then took my dog for a walk.

When I came back, as I was walking up my driveway, one of my neighbours came out and said “excuse me, is there a reason you ruined my daughters drawing?” I clarified wether or not she was talking about the chalk drawing on my driveway and she said yes and that she daughter spent almost an hour on the drawing and was just trying to spread positivity and celebrate Jesus.

I said that I was sorry that I upset her daughter but that it was my driveway and I didn’t agree to have someone draw on it especially when it was a religious holiday I Don’t celebrate (I’m Jewish but don’t consider myself religious).

She then went off an started calling me things like “anti religious, a miserable asshole and a horrible person.” I tried to tell her to calm down and stop verbally assaulting me. She then told me that I will regret washing away her daughters picture, flipped me off and walked away.”

was I the asshole here for washing away the chalk?

Edit: just found out she has two daughters 13-15 so neither of them are “little” girls. ######

Response: NTA. I don't care if it was a treasure map to a pot of gold, respect the property lines. ######


Prompt:
I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said "oh! Just like me but with penis." we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.

And during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that " OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these "you're my type" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.

I told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because "she can't even joke around anymore" and ended the chat.
We never speak about it again.

I talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I do think your sisters are missing the point. They seem focused on whether you SHOULD have felt uncomfortable....when what matters is that you did, and Sara didn't respect that feeling. All she needed to say was "Oh sorry, just meant it as a joke, I'll stop".

At least it sounds like she has stopped. ######


Prompt:
I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now.  This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet.

We only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic.

He does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.

A few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.

Today he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.

Now i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.

WIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?

Edit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.

Also we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ######

Response:
 NTA. I deal with a very similar situation where I work. A disabled girl regularly comes into our store to hang out/occasionally buy something. She's nice enough and isn't really disruptive so we don't mind when she comes in.

However when she uses our bathroom it ends up exactly the way you describe. So now we're at the point where whenever she comes in, someone immediately runs and puts an "out of order" sign up on the door with a cone in front of it so she doesn't try to go in.

It's worked well and we haven't had an incident with her for a long time. Maybe something like that would work for you if possible? ######


Prompt:
Basically, on Sunday my dad celebrated his birthday with some friends at dinner, and my mum was there as well. She English and we live overseas, where I was raised and my dad was born. Let's say the country is Spain and the language is Spanish. We only ever speak English at home and she's only ever spoken English at work. She sort of speaks Spanish but not very well, and she's got dyslexia which make language acquisition difficult for her. Everyone at the table spoke fluent English anyway, so it shouldn't have been an issue.

At some point late in the evening, my mum was chatting to my dad's friend, and out of nowhere said friend says 'If I were you I'd be ashamed and embarrassed of myself for not speaking Spanish'. My mum was visibly uncomfortable but didn't say anything. The friend went on to begin saying something about how many years my mum has lived in Spain, but I got annoyed and interrupted her. I told her that my mother had nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed of, that she's hard working and has been busy supporting her family and raising me, so she really hasn't had time do something which she already finds very difficult (my mum is not secretive about her dyslexia at all, so I knew this was something which I would not be crossing any boundaries by saying).

I feel like I sort of killed the vibe. My mum was visibly relieved (and I know confrontation makes her nervous, so I really did feel the need to step in and ensure she wasn't in an uncomfortable position). My dad's friend apologised and everything, but I just have thing nagging feeling, like I did something I wasn't meant to. I didn't call my dad's friend any names of raise my voice; my tone was quite pointed, of course, but hardly unkind - probably more assertive than anything else.

This has been bugging me, so I really do want to know what you all think. Guys/gals/pals - am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. I could go into why but seems pretty clear cut. ######


Prompt:
My hubs (50M) and I (42F) purchased our first home a few months ago. I do the grocery shopping, cooking, dishes, mopping, sweeping, and bathroom counters. He does the vacuuming (when he remembers), the showers (maybe every 4 weeks), and the toilets (every week). I frequently have to remind him to get his chores done and there are small projects around the house that still aren't done.

We got a battery powered lawnmower which I have never used. A few weeks ago, I asked him to teach me how to start the lawnmower in case I need to know how it use it to cut grass. This last Monday, I had the Memorial Day holiday off and we lounged about and had a great day. I work full time from home and am taking an intense master's degree program and loved having a day away from work and my textbooks.

About 6pm, he says he's going outside to do some work. I brew myself a pot of tea, grab my Kindle, and snuggle in with my dog on the sofa to read. Ten minutes into this, he come into the room and says "Hey, I'm going to cut grass, come out." I replied "I'm good. I'll come out next time." He says, "Just come out." I said back "I'm settled in and comfy, I'll go out next time."

He says fine and then leaves the room. He turns around, storms in the room, and says "Get the fuck up and stop being lazy and childish!" We had an argument that no one talks to me like that. And that he's been lazy and childish as well and that I don't talk to him in that way. Things were settled and life moved on. However, in the last 4 days, Hubs has done SO much around the house. Chores, small projects, things that have been waiting for him to do since we moved in. I know this is out of guilt because he called me lazy and I called him on it.

Should I let this go? WIBTA to bring it up? I am still hurt that he lashed out at me and called me lazy when I do most of the chores and have to remind him constantly to do his. ######

Response: NTA. I can’t believe he had the audacity to say that to you considering how hard you work. He probably is feeling guilty, and rightfully so! I think if you approach it calmly, it’s probably good to talk with him to figure out where that outburst came from. ######


Prompt:
For the past few years, I have been against having kids. I hate the thought of getting pregnant and it absolutely terrifies me. My parents have always hated me for that, but I can't really do anything about it.

My sister, on the other hand, is desperate to get married and desperate to have children. She has a few chronic illnesses though. Now that she has a boyfriend she's been getting ready to have kids. Researching the best part of our city to have kids, looking at preschools, etc.

Due to her chronic illness, she spoke to a doctor that told her that childbirth is possible for her, but the best route is adoption or surrogacy.

When she expressed to me that she expected me to be her surrogate, I told her that I didn't want to be her surrogate. I'm a healthy person, but pregnancy comes with too many health risks that I don't want to deal with our face, and I don't think I could handle the pain of labor and childbirth.

She insists that as her sister, I should be willing to step up.

Now I feel kind of guilty about the whole thing. She upset with me now. I want her to be happy but I don't think I could be a surrogate.

So, WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I can't imagine my reaction if someone told me they 'expected' me to be their surrogate. WTF.

Also just FYI--people who haven't given birth aren't usually allowed to be surrogates. ######


Prompt:
I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark.  I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday).  The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering.  I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing.  I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday.  Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it?  I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration.  I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.

TLDR:  am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?

(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ######

Response: NTA. I can't believe you even made cake for your sister. She doesn't deserve it. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have had arguments about how much time I spend on my phone instead of paying attention to him or the thing we’re doing together. I get that. I’ve worked on it. Today, my boyfriend sat me down and said that I’m spending too much time talking on the phone with my mom and sister about stuff that doesn’t matter when we’re walking tv or doing things together.

My family is notorious for their long-winded conversations, but I try to keep conversations down to about 15-30 mins. I get how that can be annoying but I live with him! We aren’t working right now and are glued at the hip from the moment we wake up. All we do is hang out!! Surely I couldn’t be in the wrong for spending 2% of my day talking to my FAMILY!!!

So tell me, am I the asshole for giving my family a little attention when we’re hanging out? ######

Response:
 NTA. I came from a family similar to this and it is seriously the best way to bond. I felt like true, while it could be annoying that you spent a ton of your time looking at the phone while spending the time with him, but in this situation, you were talking to your family.

Even when you're talking nonsense to each other I felt like your boyfriend should have been more understanding. Serious boundary talk should actually happen between the both of you as if it were me; I'd be furious at him for saying such nonsense. ######


Prompt: So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I am surprised you have not cut contact for this. ######