Prompt:
I'm literally in tears typing this because I don't know what I've done wrong.

Here's some background:
I'm a second year university student, I've come home because my university shut down because of what's going on. Ever since I came home, I've literally been helping my mom in every way she asks me to.
I sweep the floor, then I clean it with a wet cloth (we have 2 mops at home, and my mom says I'm too fat to use a mop so I have to be on my knees and clean to get soem exercise???), I do the dishes and them put them out to dry and bring the dried ones back in, I cut vegetables for my mom to cook, I water the plants (there's a whole lot of them too). I do all of this and then attend my online classes and study. My father does the laundry and hangs up the clothes and does the dishes as well, and then does his office work. My mother cooks and washes the dishes she's used to cook. That's the only thing she does. Then she screams at me, if I slip up with even one thing saying she has to do everything in this house and that I don't do anything.

The actual incident:
Today, at 9 am, I told my mom that I have an online class at 10 am. She stared at me and asked me when I'll do all of my chores since I had just woken up. She yelled at me asking why I didn't tell her that my class is at 10 (I've told her twice last week, and showed her my timetable as well). Then she screamed at me saying I'm inconsiderate and that I treat her like shit. I couldn't tell her that my class was just an hour long, I'd do all the chores right after my class because she was too busy screaming at me. Am I being ungrateful? Am I being inconsiderate? I've been doing all the chores everyday without a single break since over 2 weeks man. AITA for telling her this? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I wish I had advice for you, but it doesn't seem like your mom is a reasonable person.

>and my mom says I'm too fat to use a mop so I have to be on my knees and clean

Your mom sounds like a miserable person.

Please don't blame yourself. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and her girlfriend, 19F and 20F, have been together for 8months.

My daughters girlfriend recently kicked her out, I haven't been told why but I'm sure they'd tell me if they wanted me to know.

I said that she could stay and to let me know before she got here so we could all talk.

When I got home she had arrived and they had unpacked in my daughters room.

I waited until dinner time and spoke to them together and said while I appreciated that they loved each other under my roof she will sleep in the guest room, if she is staying for a while we can decorate it a little (it's pretty basic, sofa bed, television and a book case)

She understood and moved rooms, said shes just thankful for staying here.

My exwife and daughter are very upset with me because I'm treating her like a guest instead of family, my partner is on my  side.

Neither  of them pay rent or work.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I was kicked out before as a teenager, and my ex's family let me stay with them. They asked that I just slept in the guest room, and I was appreciative to have a bed to sleep on. I could've slept in my ex's bed but I respected his parents and slept in the guest bed, they would make dinner for me and even encouraged me to continue going to college.

Everyone here saying why do you care or they are adults, and that's correct that they are adults. They are adults who can make their own decisions in life, and can chose to abide by sleeping arrangements or leave.

This does not mean they are being separated from each all the time, and by the sounds of it OPs daughters gf doesn't seem to mind it. Plus the benefits of having her own room is great, especially if shes a student and needs to study, her own room to unwind would be heavenly. ######


Prompt: I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 6 years now and we’ve been talking about the future and marriage but have a few hang ups that we’ve been trying to work through. One of the things that is a major source of tension between us is that he goes on a “mancation” with his dad, dad’s friend, and dad’s friend’s son each year. I have no problem with the vacation itself but he’s expressed that when we have children, as we are both 24 it’s something that’s not too far off, he wants to continue the mancation tradition with our potential son. This is frustrating to me for a few reasons, 1. He has a sister and it’s VERY clear that her relationship with their dad isn’t nearly as close as my boyfriend’s. I think it hurts her that my boyfriend is clearly their dad’s favorite. 2. On Mancation they typically go camping or jeeping and I know that for me even though I am interested in more “girly” activities, I also enjoy doing these kinds of things and excluding a daughter because of her gender seems silly and a bit sexist to me. 3. My family growing up always went on family vacations together. To me the idea of spending a two week long vacation separate from each other just seems a bit weird. I know that this is sort of a silly argument because a lot of it depends on what if’s but it has been causing a big rift in our relationship and my boyfriend thinks I’m being controlling and isn’t sure about our future if this is going to bother me. I know that with our families being so different that I could be biased so I was hoping for the opinion of internet strangers. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I was fine until you said the 'Mancation' was TWO WEEKS!'

For most family's in the US, all they get is a two week vacation once a year, if your lucky.  I was thinking a long weekend or something with the guys, but 2 weeks is definitely unreasonable to be away from your family constantly.

I have had a 'friendscation' with my girlfriend before without my husband, but it was only 4 days, and it's not every year. My husband and I are a family, we prioritize time with each other over time with others.

I would talk to him about it nicley. They don't have to get rid of the Mancation, but when you both have a family of your own, it needs to be toned down. He can't disappear with your potential son for 2 weeks every year. A long weekend camping trip wouldn't be unreasonable though. I would also mention that you want to know what he would do to make any daughter you guys may have not feel left out. And what he would do to bond with her? It is truly unfair to take a son out and not treat a daughter to any special time as well.

You have every right to worried about this. May I ask if you guys get to have a Vacation together every year as well? Or does this cut into your own bonding time? This is definitely something that needs to be figured out sooner rather than later. ######


Prompt:
My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months.  This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it.  I asked her if she was "allergic to stairs," which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude.  FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I second your 7 y.o, I find it funny. ######


Prompt:
My mom knows I (17f) can’t stand the taste or smell of teriyaki sauce. I have told her this multiple times, because the smell/taste makes me sick to my stomach. I ask her for a heads up whenever she makes something with teriyaki sauce in it so I can grab something for myself to eat.

I went grocery shopping for my mom today, and when I come back, my mom tells me it’s time for dinner. I go into the kitchen, and the smell hits me. She made beef tips and then covered it in a whole ass layer of teriyaki. I got a bit upset with her and asked her why she didn’t tell me she was making dinner with teriyaki sauce, and she laughs and says that it was just a last minute thing. I told her that maybe she shouldn’t have done that last minute thing, because now I couldn’t go grab something to eat from a restaurant (it was around 7:30, most stores close around 8:00 now, and we live like thirty minutes out from the closest fast food place)

Mom called my brothers “Andy” (16m) and David (13m) into the room and told them that I was “being picky” and refusing to eat. They started giving me shit about it, and I told them if they really wanted me to eat it, they could clean up my puke later.

Apparently I ruined dinner by being picky about food covered in something that makes me sick, and my mom is acting like a 5 year old who got upset (huffing, sighing, refusing to talk, etc.) and Andy told me I should’ve sucked it up and ate it. To sum it up: i basically ruined the entire night for my family by not eating.

AITA for not eating food covered in teriyaki sauce?

EDIT: because I just realized people might be confused about why I can’t just make something in the kitchen: My mom doesn’t like people cooking after dinner’s been made, or even people being in the kitchen afterwords. ######

Response:
 NTA.

I have the impression that your mom tried to back you into a corner and force you to eat to prove a point. She called your brothers so they could "gang up on you" which is wrong. You're allowed to not like certain types of food (for example, I hate anything with peppers, so I tend to stay clear of 'em).

Could you have done your own food at home since everything was closing down by the time you got home? ######


Prompt: I'm (17M) required to eat breakfast at 10:30am sharp and to finish by 11:00am (Lunch and Dinner also have their respective eating times but it was specifically a "violation" of the breakfast time schedule that caused me to write this). It's not the amount of time that's absurd, but rather the fact that I can't eat whenever the hell I want to eat in my home. Usually when it comes to food I just eat whenever I want to because I'm personally someone who doesn't mind being hungry for awhile and only eat when I REALLY need to. Additionally I hate eating breakfast, I've just always hated eating in the morning cause I never really have an appetite so early in the morning. I understand the old "My house, My rules" bullshit argument, but I'm 17 years old and I think its stupid that my parents have authority over my eating habits. I understand that my parents would be worried if I didn't eat at all since I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I always eat the food she "gives" (more like forces) me to eat, just at a much later time. Anyways the situation where the "AITA" question can apply to is today when I woke up pretty late \~10:40 and just decided not to eat the yogurt my mom told me to eat, and when she called at around 11:40 she yelled at me for like an hour for not eating some fucking yogurt. I understand that I didn't keep our "promise", but in my opinion I think its stupid to get that angry over some fucking yogurt. ######

Response:
 NTA.

I have a very very small earing disorder because of my parents being so strict about what I eat growing up. I have a problem now, even as an adult, about eating out and hiding it from people.

It drives me husband nuts, but I absolutely can't handle comments about my eating habits. I also have an issue with eating too much of the same thing because my parents wanted me to stay thin. So they fed me a very limited diet. Salad, chicken, olives, nuts. No pop allowed, now I'm addicted to Coca Cola. I constantly want different foods. Ugh, i never realized it was a problem until i started seeing a therapist.

So yeah, your not an asshole, you mom is a control freak though. ######


Prompt:
Two years ago my cousin's dog was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition. The veterinary bill eclipsed $10,000 AUD. My cousin didn't have the necessary funds, and for whatever reason ended up in my house begging and pleading for a loan.

I should mention here that I'm not rich by any means. Rather, it's the fact that I'm the only person in our family that (1) has a steady job and (2) has no major expenses. My partner and I lived frugally for a long time to save up an emergency fund. The loan came out of these funds.

The loan agreement is simple: $10,000 over a maximum duration of five years, paid monthly, and accruing interest rate pegged to my mortgage offset account's interest rate. There is no 'formal' contract per se (though one most likely exists at common law). But there is an understanding that she will pay the loan back as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, collecting money from my cousin has been like drawing blood from a stone. My cousin is a low income earner. Which would be fine - especially because she lives at home and has no major expenses. But she also spends way beyond her means: luxury designer items, exorbitant holidays abroad, etc. Things she has no business purchasing on her income.

To put it in perspective, my cousin has had more late payments than ones paid on time. To date, she's currently three months in arrears (\~ $500 AUD). It isn't much, I know. But it's the mere fact that I have to continually chase her up that annoys the hell out of me.

So when I saw her bragging about a new Burberry coat on her social media, I couldn't help but leave a comment to the effect of: "You can't afford a Burberry coat. You can't even afford to pay me back for your dog's surgery".

By the time my cousin noticed my comment, enough people were talking about it. My cousin called me up infuriated that I would out her dirty laundry. But, honestly, I'm at my wit's end. I just want her to stick to our agreement.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I guess you've learned to never lend money to people again though. Never lend what you wouldn't gift. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I'm 20 F, and I'm living with my parents.

So this happened today at lunch. We'd all sat down to eat, and there was fish. I hate fish. I hate most non-vegetarian food. Nonetheless, I didn't want to start a fight, so I sat down and ate almost all of it, except for a little bit which I just didn't want to anymore. And trust me, when I say little, it was a tiny little piece.

I got up to wash my hands and rinse my mouth, when my mother called me back and asked me to finish it. Now, I really didn't want to. Firstly, I was already very full, and secondly, I just couldn't eat any more fish. I'd probably throw up.

So I said no. She kept bullying me. And I kept saying no.

My mother has a history of doing this. My brother and I could never be picky about anything we ate growing up, because it was a rule to eat everything that was served. I understand not wanting to waste food, but I just can't tolerate eating certain things.
Her force-feeding has probably led to me overeating at some times and barely eating at others.

So anyway, back to the story. She pulled me aside and angrily told me that I was embarrassing her in front of our house-help.

And I just couldn't believe her. I couldn't bare to ingest something at all anymore and to her, it was only about listening to her so that I didn't embarrass her.

She called me to a side room and started getting furious about how I always embarrass her and stomp on her dignity.

I stormed out of the room.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I get trying not to waste foods or whatever. But she pick a fight with you, and you fought back. But next time you probably don't need to eat it at all, as in, dont even pick the food. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. As a fat kid in high school, I really wanted to change how I felt about myself, and I transformed myself during my stay in college, to the extent that I was fairly ripped all the time and had abs.

This was when I met my girlfriend. She has never been to the gym in her life and hates excising. I have never forced her to do anything, or even hinted at her to change herself. She has gained 20 pounds since we were together, and I genuinely think her body is perfect all the time.

I worked 20 hour shifts in the hospital for a couple of months, and had to live there for 2 weeks. Obviously, with the gyms closed and me feeling too exhausted, I put on a few pounds and lost my abs. I was completely fine with this. But the moment I got the chance to spend a few days home after being quarantined at the hospital, my girlfriend's first reaction was disappointment for not being ripped. I was honestly tired and just went to sleep, but she kept pinching my 'fat' areas like my love handles and asked me when I would get rid of them.

At this point, I honestly just wanted a few days off and was very annoyed at her persistence. She got angry at me and told me that sex was off the table until I had abs again, and I lost control of myself at this point.

Basically told her how she knew absolutely nothing about exercising and was being a tyrannical asshole, how she should just start exercising if she thinks it's that easy, how her body doesn't require any hours at the gym to maintain while I just want to enjoy some good food after my shitty experience at the hospital cafeteria. I asked her to  do a single push up in front of me, and she failed, so I told her how big of an idiot she was being for expecting me to be in the mindset of exercising all the time.

EDIT: Just want to give the full context, so I have let my ugly side out too, thanks for any judgement ######

Response:
 NTA.

I don't understand why you're with her. She is extremely shallow and rude. She told you that you too won't be having sex until you get abs. She is telling you that she only likes you for your body when you are ripped. ######


Prompt:
I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study.

I moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats.

The """problem""" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.

He basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger.

Despite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said "we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ######

Response:
 NTA.

I can't **STAND** entitled people. Your boyfriend thinks he's entitled to a key to *your* house which he doesn't pay to live at; and then he pulls a victim card by saying that he's afraid that you're going to put his life in danger because of it being a dark street.

No.

He just wants the power to come in and out of your house as much as he pleases. ######


Prompt:
So since I’ve been working from home I have meetings 2 days a week. But even during the days I don’t I still dress decently and wear a little makeup because it makes me feel good, and also my boyfriend compliments me a lot when I dress well, and say what you will but it’s nice.

But our roommate yesterday asked why I have to dress up so much in the house because it’s oppressive and weird. I explained why and she said it was egotistical to fish for compliments by dressing well, and that dressing so well makes her feel out of place.

For reference I was just wearing a casual dress and a little bit of makeup, it wasn’t like I was dressed for a wedding. But she wants me to dress down when I don’t have meetings, like sweat pants and a t shirt everyday.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I admit I'm a little biased - I spent one day of lockdown in a fur coat, tiara and a prom dress (which was great.) Fashion is a passion of mine and it's been cheering me up. If you enjoy dressing well, then that's up to you.

Everybody is a little sensitive/stressed right now so maybe don't go too hard on her, but a firm 'we're both entitled to dress as we like, there's no need for anyone to feel out of place in our living space' should hopefully do the trick. ######


Prompt:
So some quick information is im 15F and I’ve had two very obvious surgical scars on my body my whole life. A feeding tube scar and a open heart surgery scar. If course im thankful i’m alive but I could definitely do without scars. I’m pretty insecure about it and it sucks sometimes I cant wear low cut shirts, some crop tops, or two piece bikinis in the summer because people WILL stare.

For the past three years I been bringing up the idea of a tattoo on my feeding tube scar when im 18 and every time I bring it up it’s immediately shot down. My dad keeps saying “If you grow up with a tattoo I raised you wrong” and my mom thinks its “trashy” And, the reason I care is because they’ll stop supporting me and will be upset with me if I get a tattoo, piercing, etc. They’ve said they’d kick me out if I did it when im living under their roof and I cannot tell if theyre joking or not. I love my parents but idk why the line is just drawn at body modifications.

My dad left to work in another state for the next two years until im in college and then my parents are gonna move out of our current house. I was sitting outside enjoying quality time with my mom and it came again to me discussing the idea of a tattoo. I seriously been trying to convince them. The answer is no. Again. But, my mom said she’d actually pay for plastic surgery to get it removed if it would prevent me from getting a tattoo. But, under one condition and that being I have to be 18. I said no, it would have to be when im 16 (legal with parental consent) or else im getting the tattoo at 18 because it’s easier in terms of recovery and of course safer. She was pissed that im being ungrateful. But, whats the point of getting plastic surgery when I can just have a cover up tattoo?

So, I lost my shit basically yelling “it been three years of me asking? Why won’t you support my decision because im not changing my mind and im getting it when im 18 if not plastic surgery at 16. Its my body.” etc. etc.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

However, be warned, if you're gonna get a tattoo on scarred tissue it can hurt a bit more than usual and also sometimes the ink doesn't take very well. It'll be a good idea for you to search for a tattoo artist that has experience with surgical scars + it's probably cheaper than plastic surgery. ######


Prompt:
I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.

So my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk.

The problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried " Love you too, not now Potato" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.

I always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.

When I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day.

I don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Honestly, I think his behavior makes sense.

There's nothing more romantic in my eyes than playing the latest computer games while ignoring my girlfriend.

Talking or interacting with her at all, of course, is entirely un-romantic as it distracts from my very romantic video game.

I see his predicament, though. You tend to go to bed around 10:30PM.

He can only play with his friends between 9-11 because one of them has to work all day.

Obviously, you're not taking into account his poor friend whose schedule your lives must all revolve around.

I think the biggest issue here that you're not really being fair about is that if he doesn't play with his friends for a single night he'll die almost immediately.

If you want him to live then there's absolutely no way he can ever compromise at all. ######


Prompt:
Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before.

So both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time.
I do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Honestly what are you supposed to do? Let the kids trash the house since they never get disciplined? I feel like it was good that you warned them that there was going to be a punishment and you followed through with it. Children need to understand that their actions can have consequences. It's not like you spanked them or anything. You gave him a *much needed* time out. ######


Prompt:
Post ahead so get in.

Backstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.

Now i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]

L is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like "I miss the homies and the drugs". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit.

I've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say "Its her life, let her do what she pleases" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to "Stay in my lane"

She recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs.

Edit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like "You cant tell me what to do." I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.

 Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Honestly I would say you are obligated to report this to CPS. Her brain is still developing and heavy drug use has severe effects on it. ######


Prompt:
So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said "I love you more than *insert my name here*.

I never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.

about two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him.  He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying "there you go being crazy again.

Was I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Here's the thing. It isn't even about the dog at this point.....it's about the fact that he's not considerate of your feelings. Calling you crazy? Bringing his mom in for back-up?

In my opinion, you were being a little insecure, but there's no reason for him to be an ass about it. He should have just apologized for ignoring you, reiterated his love for you and his dog and then moved on. ######


Prompt:
My eldest daughter is in her 20s with two kids. She lives about an hour away. I still have 3 kids at home, work a full time job, etc. I do see her and my grandkids (or did before the whole world shut down) but it’s not often. Before the shut down, my daughter and I got into a fight and we’re still at a loss.

Like I said, I have 3 kids at home and work. I know my daughter is stressed and I do talk to her often. If she asks me to take my grandkids and I can, I will. However, I rarely offer because I rarely have the time or the energy to offer. This became a huge issue. My daughter recently told me that I should offer to watch her kids more and she shouldn’t have to ask. She says that she’s tired of her kids seeming like burdens. I said they’re not, but I don’t have time to watch them often. She said “You’re they’re grandma, you should want to.” I said “Maybe before you had two kids, you should’ve thought about childcare.” She got really mad and our communication since has been spotty at best.

I standby that while I love my grandkids, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I can’t and don’t want to watch them in all my spare time. She says I should.  Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Hell, I lived 2 miles from my parents and I was the youngest (so they were empty nesters).  Wanna know how many times they watched my kids?  ONCE.

We didn't ask them if it was OK for us to have kids.  Thus, childcare is OUR responsibility.  Period. ######


Prompt:
My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.

First quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.

Last quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.

I told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ######

Response:
 NTA.

He’s a grown man, he really shouldn’t nag at you cause of a job application when he can, infact look for a job himself ######


Prompt:
This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.

work ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.

I get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.

Next day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.

He ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.

I really don't think I did anything wrong. ######

Response:
 NTA.

He stole money from you while you were doing a favor for him. Yeah it may have been only $3 but he stole from you while you were doing something nice for him. ######


Prompt:
I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.
I also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.

So one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.

Still some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

He should have no say in who his sister is friends with.

It was a long time ago and he’s the one who cheated - you did the right thing when you found out. ######


Prompt:
Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.

Judging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ######

Response:
 NTA.

He said some pretty horrible things to you. Take as much time as you need to think it through. There's no reason to rush. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Maybe he does want to sincerely apologize, but that doesn't mean you have to hear him out just yet. Take care of yourself first. ######


Prompt: We were getting ready to park inside of the private lot when all of a sudden my friend starts throwing up. For some reason he decided to throw up first and then open the door instead of just telling me to stop and him getting out to throw up. I think he threw up because he was drinking heavily before I picked him up and motion sickness may have gotten to him. As soon as I started seeing throw up all over my car door on the inside I told him to get out. He wouldn't get out and I asked him at least over five times. I had a feeling he wasn't going to get out so I decided to park and go to his side of the door so I can start cleaning up the mess. I couldn't fully clean his side of the car because he was still sitting inside so I asked him to get out at least 10 more times. All of a sudden he looks at me and tells me that "I'm a fucking asshole for talking to someone like that". He then got out of the car and while I was cleaning my door he tells me that "I am going to knock you the fuck out and I promise you that you won't get back up". At that point I walk over to the driver side of the door to get my keys out and other important things in-case shit hits the fan and out of anger he slams his fast on the roof of my car causing it to dent. For privacy reasons I will not say the exact number but I have gotten a quote from 3 separate body shops that are all over 1000$. Due to this high number I have decided to take him to civil court. He and several others of my friends are calling me a asshole and saying that I should have just let it go. Of course I can't just let it go because I am making payments on this car and it is close to a 2020 version so when I go to trade it in later in life it'll really fuck me. So reddit... Am I the asshole or am I right? ######

Response:
 NTA.

He intentionally damaged your property because you asked him NOT TO RUIN HIS ENTIRE SIDE OF THE INTERIOR OF YOUR CAR by getting out. What he did to your car was uncalled for, drunk or not. I mean I would have guessed he'd see the error of his ways when he sobered up, but apparently he has decided to run with it, and that's despicable.

He's a grown adult allowed to drink, so the has to take grown adult responsibility as well.

As a good friend he'd realise that he fucked up, caused you LOTS of costs and would at least TRY to work out something with you. You can talk shit out as friends, maybe reach a compromise or something, but he's not having any of it it seems...

Take that "friend" to court if he keeps ignoring you.

Friends like that aren't worth keeping anyway. ######


Prompt:
AITA?

So first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going/ what we are doing.

So anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ######

Response:
 NTA.

He expects you to wear heels because of your height difference.

He doesn’t want people looking at you together in public.

He had a tantrum and berated you for not changing into shoes that weren’t appropriate for the venue.

You’re his wife, not a purse. He’s due for a serious adjustment in his perspective and attitude. ######


Prompt:
My daughter’s college completely refunded this quarter’s pay. She came back home because they couldn’t keep dorms up. I got a cashier’s check of $14,937 from the college. I was honestly surprised that they refunded it.

When I told my family, my daughter complained and said that it was her money. I completely disagreed. I paid for her college, she just worked to save up money and for rent. This 15k was entirely for the family, not just for her.

She argued that paying for college was a gift, and this was akin to refunding a gift. I again completely disagree. The money was entitled to me, not her. Therefore it’s my money. While I’m not going to use the money solely for myself, I’m going to put it into a savings account for my other kid.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Had a similar situation as an undergraduate and my parents got the money back. They used it on my tuition the following term.

You paid for a service she was using. The service refunded YOU not her.

Edit; you say she was paying rent. Is this a rent refund for the dorms as well or just tuition? ######


Prompt:
So I'm from a traditional Indian family in England, my parents compare me to \*everyone\*, from my sister to the neighbour's kid etc. My sister is 5 years older than me \[26F\] and has been working for 2 years after graduating from a fairly prestigious university but earns the usual 2 years into your career wage (£35k, $43k).

My parents always pitted me against my sister and that really fucked with our relationship, this means that my sister is insecure about her wage and is trying her best (we both have mental health issues from my parents' abusive parenting, see my post history for more info), she's had a lot to deal with.

This year I worked really hard and got myself into a hedge fund for a grad job.  This place will pay me over double what my sister earns; I'm not going to act like I'm not happy about this but I know that hurts my sister (she still wants the best for me, but it does hurt and I don't blame her for it).

And I know that my parents finding out my wage will make them cocky, show off my wage, and put ridiculous amounts of pressure on my sister. My dad is also insecure about his role as the caregiver to the family since my sister already earns more than he does.

Because of all this, I'm choosing not to tell my parents (and possibly even my sister (though she can guess how much I earn from the company I work for)) my wage, I'm already moving out so I'm fully independent of them and have no obligation and the way they act (even though I mentioned to them that comparing kids is reprehensible) I think justifies it. However this is really uncommon in our culture, I'm already forcing through my independence by moving out (without their consent) and now to not tell them my wage will really damage my relationship with them.

AITA for putting my parents at arm's length, damaging the relationship further since I'm already forcing through my moveout, by not telling them my salary? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Good on you for taking the option that's better for your sister's mental health. You have no obligation to tell them anything, and it sounds like you're better off leaving. I hope your sister has left too. ######


Prompt:
I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah.

So yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook.

I have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids?

TL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling.

So reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out?

Also I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Gonna be honest, your stepdads reactions seems borderline abusive. However, you should pack away scissors when you’re done with them. But a single, typically harmless mistake doesn’t necessitate that sort of reaction. ######


Prompt:
I am an atheist and my last roommate was a devout muslim. She used to be very regular with her prayers and practices and was a pleasant person to be around overall. I never interfered with her religious beliefs, and in fact, used to co-operate with her to assist her with it, eg I took down the poster of an actor near my table, since she said she couldn’t have that in the direction and same room she prayed, fasting along with her (i just did it for health reasons/fun), going with her to festival celebration events etc.
Things were fine for a while, but few months she started to berate my lifestyle as an atheist and started saying how much more meaningful life as a religious person is. May be she misunderstood my involvement with her to my interest in her religion, but she seemed to always bring the conversation to why being religious, and particularly muslim is the right way of life. Eg, getting upset if I drink, or commenting on how my dress one time was too short, or how ‘good and virtuous women’ should be covered up, or how I’m stupid to be an atheist. I guess she said all of that frankly when we were better friends. She made me grudgingly watch the movie ‘the message’ and I sat through it, and tried to ‘preach’ how good it was. Basically this preaching became a regular thing, even though I never has asked for it.
So one time when I got fed up of the religion talks, I told her off saying “ I don’t care about your religion and what it stands for, I chose to be an atheist and I don’t want you to tell how good your religion is because frankly I think all religions are baseless and so is yours. So please back off”. She seems to think my anger was misplaced and comments on her religion was uncalled for.
Since then she moved out after a few cold days, and has been telling people that I’m islamophobic. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Fun fact about religion, or not having one - some people are only ok with it as long as you fit in theirs completely. If not, then that's when the peer pressure conversion is attempted. That's on them. It's possible to be religious AND impartial.

I feel like your burst was fair, although cold. It's important to make sure this person knows your boundaries, and you theirs. It sounds like you listened to them and respected them, now it's time for the reverse.

If I were you, moving forward with this friendship, I'd make very clear lines - "I will do X, you mist respect Y. I will not convert, but I will listen and I will respect as long as you do not ridicule me." ######


Prompt:
I know, this title is ridiculous. How on earth could I be an asshole when seeking medical attention? I’m not sure but my coworker seems to think I’m the world’s biggest asshole.

So around 11pm yesterday I started having trouble breathing, I chalked it up to asthma. Well I then got sick to my stomach. At 7am I called the Covid screening and they sent me over to healthlinks and they sent me to the ER. By this point I could barely speak.

I contacted my bosses and hr to let them know what’s up as I had a 10:00 shift. I had messaged everyone around 8:30am what was up.

It took three hours before I could breath on my own. I see I have a Snapchat from a coworker I used to consider a friend. I opened it and it was a wall of text about how selfish I am for not showing up and how all I do is sit at the desk (that’s my job)

What’s important to know is that I was off work from February until June 1st because of health issues and I’ve only been back working for a week.

I tried to explain the situation not that it was any of her business and she went off more, I won’t repeat what was said because character limit. But I sent screenshots to HR because they were nasty texts.

I could see why she’d be upset if I was home with the sniffles, but I couldn’t breath, I was throwing up, those are corona symptoms and I would have been sent home anyway even if I did show up. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Fuck, what is wrong with your colleague, you were sick you couldn't breathe.

You were right to go the ER.

Edit: correction of a word ######


Prompt:
My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc.

She co-owns a successful business w/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.

For the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props.

Business has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc.

Recently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through.

My parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate.

She started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Frankly, your sister is acting very unprofessional and hurting the business.

I could at least in some capacity understand her using her baby as a "model" if they were promoting baby related items (clothes, bedding, furniture, etc), but a baby has no place in product pictures of items that are not baby related. ######


Prompt: I just gave birth to my daughter.  Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon.  She wants to come over all the time to see the baby.  I’m ok with that.  I really am.  I can use some company and advise.  My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time.  Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises.  Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time.  Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members.  Am I being unreasonable? ######

Response:
 NTA.

For some advice r/JustNoMil

Your request is reasonable, you want to look better then your worst when she visits. Make it a thing, that if she doesn't call ahead, she isn't coming in. ######


Prompt:
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)

&#x200B;

Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.

Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.

A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.

"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"

Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.

This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.

Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.

I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.

I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.

So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...

&#x200B;

Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######

Response:
 NTA.

First, your birthday your rules.

Secondly you're freshly sober, avoiding temptation is a smart move.

If your friends can't accept or understand that, you can question their motivations and canceling the birthday party for your own health is the right move. ######


Prompt:
My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me.

On the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said "oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip" and so I asked, "then how did you sleep?"

He looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for "body heat" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Even if nothing happened, the two of you *already established that sharing beds was a boundary*. Not only did he willingly, and unnecessarily break that boundary, he lied to you about it. Or at least, tactfully decided not to mention it, so lying by omission.

I’d be so fucking pissed. A small hole in a sleeping bag DOES NOT warrant jumping into a bag with another person. Like you said, especially considering it wasn’t freezing conditions. Put on some damn socks and sleep in your own sleeping bag.

Also, why tf is he going camping with girls you say yourself he hardly even knows? ######


Prompt:
So this happened couple of weeks ago but my sister is still bothering me about it. Also English is not my first language. TLDR at the bottom.

So I (f27) and my boyfriend (m30) are childfree by choice. My sister (f25) is pregnant for the first time and had a baby shower a few weeks ago. It was a small gathering of about 10 people.

At the baby shower there was my sister's friend and coworker, we'll call her Elle. I don't really know her, but we're on a friendly level.

The whole time Elle was making comments regarding me not having children. She doesn't know I'm childfree. Things like "Oh OP you're gonna have to catch up to Maria's speed, she's younger and already preggy!" (Maria meaning my sister), or "When is the baby gonna have a little cousin?" And stuff like that, and it really annoyed me, but I didn't wanna make a big deal about it.

At one point Elle and I were in the kitchen, just the two of us and she said "You're almost 30 right? The next baby shower must be yours haha" I smiled a little awkwardly and said "I'm not having children." She said "Well when you change your mind."

This annoyed me so much I decided to say "I'm actually infertile." Just in hopes that it would teach her not to make comments like that to childless people.

My sister overheard and didn't say anything, but after the party she confronted me. She said she fully supports me being childfree, but that I shouldn't have lied. I know it's not good to lie, but I'm just really sick and tired of the remarks childfree people like me get all the time.

Am I the Asshole for lying like that to teach her to be quiet about things like that?

TLDR: My sister's friend keeps making comments about me not having kids, so I tell her that I'm infertile, even though I'm not, so she would stop making those remarks. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Elle had *no* business bringing up you being child free.

Also maybe it teaches her that those kind of comments can really hurt someone who isn't child free by choice. ######


Prompt: Hi reddit community. I wanted to ask for advice. The story begins on 2015 when my father passed away and me and my fathers family got into a legal argument over the inheritence that my father left me. In conclusion I got the inharintence even though I didn't want it and my fathers family cut all contact with me. I thought everything was over, but just a month ago my grandmother called to ask me how I'm doing and so on... In the end of the conversation she mentioned that her sister that's just over 74 years old has just been diagnoses with kidney failure and asked me to donate it, but I refused because I understood that it was the only reason she called, she got angry and told me that I'm not worth anything and that if I donated my kidney at least I would do something good with my life(I'm 21 now). Now over the course of the month I have been verbally abused by my grandmother and her sister, they spread all sorts of rumors about me that really aren't true... And honestly I'm at my breaking point and I just don't know what to do. Am I the asshole for not donating my kidney? Sorry fo the long post, I just needed to get this off my chest. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Donating an organ is a serious thing and you have every right to decline doing so for whatever reason.

But especially in this case.

You aren't an organ factory. ######


Prompt: I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition/feeding tube/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Currently dealing with this. I'm very very pregnant, my daughter has breathing issues, mom is here staying with us to keep us fed, and our houses are basically on top of each other.

My daughter is 4. My neighbour's son, her best buddy, is 4. They understand enough that they cannot leave our driveways, they can wave at each other, say hi, but cannot play. They gave started playing from ten feet apart, just waving and screaming at each other. 4, and they get it.

NTA, and I'm getting really fucking tired of entitled parents. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.

Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.

I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.

But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.

Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.

My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.

I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.

She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.

When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).

I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Convenient how she suddenly decided to make room for the weights when it suited her. She never answered any of your calls and wasn't interested in picking them up until it suited her. The offer was made **months** ago. If she didn't pick it up in December, that's her problem. It's too late.

She should respect the fact that you and your wife need it during this quarantine, given that you purchased the damn thing. It doesn't matter if your nephew is on an athletic scholarship. he can find other ways to workout. E.g. bodyweight/resistance band exercises. ######


Prompt:
I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.

Then, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because "I provoked him" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.

He has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Classic manipulative behavior. "Look what you made me do."

I'd watch out that he doesn't continue to blame you for his behavior. ######


Prompt:
TL;DR is the title, throwaway account, English is not my main language, blablabla

So I (17M) begged my parents (mid 50s) for a Netflix account for YEARS before i gave up, and just bought my own account. I have the cheapest plan possible, so about 10$ a month (i think) and it's costing me literally half my pocket money.

About two month ago, I gave my mom my Netflix, as a way to convince her that it was worth paying for a family account. Needless to say, they weren't convinced. Recently however, my dad, who was the most against me having netflix in the first place (he thinks it's way too addictive) started a show with my mom. They've been watching it everyday for a week now, and today I had to boot a friend out of the account, while he almost never watches anything. They jokingly threatened to cut my pocket money if I didn't boot him, so I gave in.

Right now, they are watching their show, and I know that they only have two episodes left, so I was thinking of booting them out, and not allowing them back in until they pay for half the account. I have no idea if it'll work, but WIBTA ?

Update :I have decided that I will not do it, as I think only negative consequences could arise from this. They're also probably too stubborn to buy it anyway, so I'll play the long game and try to convince them slowly. Thanks for everyone's input, even those who said I was TA :) ######

Response:
 NTA.

But this is going to backfire big time.

If you're paying for this with allowance, allowance they give you. They'll just take your allowance away.  Then make their own account if they're so inclined and not give you the password.

Don't bite the hand that feeds. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.

Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.

I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.

I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).

Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.

He hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.

So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ######

Response:
 NTA.

But let's be honest. You seem to have all the information you need in this situation.

I'm sorry, and it sucks.  I hope you can figure out where to go from here. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.

However three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants.

Later that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and "masculinity". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear "identity" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy?

TL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta.

But as a lot of other comments are pointing out that kids are mean, I think you should have an age appropriate talk with him. Something along the lines of "you are allowed to wear whatever you want and I'll be there supporting you, but there are bad people out there that might make doing what you want difficult." Or something along those lines.

But props for letting him be himself and showing an acceptable household, that will probably lead to more openness from him to you. ######


Prompt:
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.

I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.

I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.

I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.

I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...

Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.

TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Blackface is a racist charicature of black people for the purpose of mocking them.

It's not racist to pick a black character in a video game and nor is it a charicature. It is, therefore, not blackface ######


Prompt:
Had a new countertop and sink installed, and the countertop people don’t do plumbing, so I needed someone to install the new facet and disposal on the new sink.  I can do it myself, but it’s it what brings me joy, plus I’m working.  So I decide to just hire a plumber.

Company I called is well regarded, I explained clearly and in detail what I needed.  Dispatcher says they’ll send someone to look at it, they’ll give me an estimate, and if I have them do the work, a $70 trip fee will be waived. I agree.

They send a plumber and assistant out a couple of days later. For a faucet install, they want $199.  For the disposal install, they want $199.  For fitting the drain (apparently not included in your disposal install) they wanted $49. Add on another $58 for parts and supplies and tax.  Total bill: $505.

An hour’s work, 2 max?  I told the guy $250-500 per hour was more than a little unreasonable. He told me they don’t charge by time, they use “by task transparent pricing”.  Oh, really?  So the dispatcher could have told me the cost when I asked, but they decided to see if they could back me into a corner with an on the spot price and a $70 charge and no working kitchen sink hanging over my head.

I told them no, I would not let them do the work for $500.  He says OK, how would I like to pay for the $70 trip fee.  I declined to pay that as well; while I had agreed to it, I don’t feel compelled to pay if they’re going to be utterly unreasonable in their pricing.  I told him if their manager had a problem with it they could call me.

In the end I did the work myself in about 2 hours with $10 in parts, reinforcing my feeling that  $500 is a “fuck you” price.  I’m angry.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Asking you to pay $70 for a quote was not done in good faith, not when this is something they could have at least ballparked over the phone. Something like, "It's going to be $400 just for the faucet and garbage disposal install alone, plus parts."

This was an attempt to use the sunken coast fallacy to charge a premium for work. A lot of people would decide "Well, I don't want to waste $70, so I may as well pay them to do the work." It's manipulative and you were right to send them on their way. ######


Prompt:
I want to be clear before we start, I TOTALLY understand that being pregnant has a multitude of different effects on different women. I understand that some women have it easier than others in terms of their pregnancies, like some women can work on their feet until the day the baby is born whereas some can't after 3 months; that is not the issue at hand. My wife has been out of work for 6 months due to recent things at her job, none of which are her fault. We have been trying for a baby for over a year with no results, besides IVF and have been working hard to have a baby.

With all this in mind my wife has taken it upon herself(from recent world-changing events) to say that *getting* pregnant is now her job. I completely disagree. She's stopped looking for a job now and has stopped any amount of side work she was initially doing as well. I said to her that her looking for a job would help with the income for our baby later but she says all the work required for making a baby has made it a full-time job. Now I don't necessarily disagree with her that this is a lot of work but I've been working 70 hrs/week for the past 6 months, I don't want to come home and find out I have to do 50% of the chores because she was "working all day" as she says. I find this to be a cop-out and quite frankly lazy and ridiculous. Now I never said this verbatim to her but these are my thoughts. AITA for this? ######

Response:
 NTA.

As someone who had difficulty getting pregnant I can say stress can play a factor.  However it doesn’t mean she should live completely stressed free while expecting you to carry the financial burden and also half of the house chores.  She can only do half of the job of trying to conceive.  She needs you to do the other half.

In fact, staying at home and becoming baby obsess is pretty unhealthy.  She needs to redirect her attention elsewhere (like working).

Edit: wow!  Thanks for the silver medal kind stranger! ######


Prompt:
There's an unofficial rule in my house that if you're cooking an evening meal from scratch, you make four portions of it.

Unfortunately, this limits _everyone_ to what my dad likes. And he is _very_ limited in that regard.

No pasta, no vegetarian meals, nothing too "foreign", and nothing "unusual. Basically he'll accept stews, casseroles, roasts, chops/steaks, and sometimes a mild to medium curry from a jarred sauce. I think the most "adventurous" thing I've seen him eat is haggis, but only on Burn's Night (or as close to as possible), and even then mum has to make a separate pot of plain mash for him (he won't eat tatties and neeps, just tatties).

If left to his own devices he'll live on nuggets and chips or cheese on toast.

I'm getting fed up of this.

I want pasta. I don't want to have to put meat into everything I cook. I want to try making random non-English dishes from the multitude of cookbooks in the kitchen.

I said as much to mum earlier. I told her I'm fed up of catering to someone whose palate is as unsophisticated as a toddler's, with less willingness to explore.

She thinks I'm being selfish, and that dad will be upset if I only cook for myself. I pointed out that if I'm chucking some nuggets in the fryer or making beans on toast, I'm only feeding myself then.

AITA for not wanting to cook for a picky eater any more, so I can eat more things I actually like? ######

Response:
 NTA.

As a kid growing up, I can't count how many times my father told me "yiou eat what we prepared". And as a child I was told... "If you don't like it, you can cook your own meal or go hungry".

The same should apply when the children start cooking for the parents. They don't like it? Cook your own meal, or go hungry.

It's a classic example of a wannabe alpha male trying to exert pressure. Dad wants a meal? He eats what's put before him. Otherwise he can cook his own meal.

Don't enable the bully. ######


Prompt:
So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates  boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.

Later, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '

She got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.
I just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .
I told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Are you supposed to sequester yourself during your "unclean" time, too? Periods are a normal function and need to be treated as such. It's not like you were free-bleeding on the furniture, FFS. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory on mobile etc. I’ve lived with my flatmate for close to a year now and she’s been in a long distance relationship for maybe 6 months or so. We used to be super close but since she got into a relationship we’ve drifted as she wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend (this is not the issue at hand).

The problem is whenever he comes over they have the most aggressive, animated, liquid-sounding sex I have ever heard in my life. We have quite a small flat and her bed backs onto the wall where my head is to sleep so I get to hear the full X-rated 6 hour show every weekend. I’ve mentioned this to her before as my radiator was vibrating from the intense passion emanating from her headboard for 4 hours straight one evening and she pulled her bed away from the wall. The issue is, I can hear every slap, grunt, moan, wail, growl that is uttered during these steamy sessions and it’s truly terrifying.

We’re all adults here and I’ve got no problem with her getting some but the issue is sometimes they end up giving each other a round of applause for hours on end. The lack of sleep I’m getting from hearing their amateur porn is becoming a real issue.

WIBTA if I asked them to tone it down? Also, how the fuck do I approach it without sounding like a jealous prude that wants to go join in? ######

Response:
 NTA.

And I have ideas!

Make a game out of counting their orgasms. Keep score on a whiteboard and congratulate the loser each morning.

Suggest that their impressive stamina and mutual enthusiasm deserves to be shared with a wider audience... have they considered monetizing their exuberant sex life? Bonus points for a PowerPoint presentation.

His and hers ball gags for the next birthday, anniversary, or gift-giving religous holiday of your choice.

Leave business cards for a local motel scattered around the apartment. If you're feeling extra courteous, jot down the hourly rate on a Post-It note.

Search for one of those "20 sounds that make dogs bark" videos on YouTube and play it loudly on repeat the next time they start going at it. Bonus points if you actually have a dog to join in the chorus!

Casually ask for a safe word you can tap in morse code on your mutual wall the next time they get too loud. Demand aftercare and ice cream; you deserve it. ######


Prompt:
Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.

I live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to "fuck off back to our own country" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.

But their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.

My solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)

Ive tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.

I could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.

But I have to know Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Also holy shit what dedication on your neighbors part. To put forth the effort to build a bonfire or BBQ everytime you hang laundry out for the last 10 years.

Like yeah they're assholes but you kind of have to respect that dedication a bit. Next next level petty. ######


Prompt:
I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing.  We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3/4 through the year, the principal in  our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help  for us and for the kid?  No one directly answered me but the discussion continued.

About a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her.

I was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Addressing a concern that you are in over your head and need additional resources is why that meeting should exist in the first place. If the principals just wanted to feel involved they could have sent out an email. They are the ones who should be getting you and the other teachers the resources you all need to do your jobs. There’s only so much you can do and they need to be team players and not arm chair quarterbacks. ######


Prompt:
I’m 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being.

She is a really great kid and tbh I feel in a lot of ways like she’s my own kid because my mom and dad don’t speak English so I kind of had to raise my sis in ways that they couldn’t. Hard to explain but I’m sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean- my mom and dad are great parents but having an English speaking person to guide you through shit when you live in an English speaking country is invaluable imo and my sister trusts me with stuff she won’t necessarily trust my parents with.

Anyway my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a t shirt cuz it’s hot. My ~~sister~~ gf waited til my sister had left the area ( but not the room) and made a face and said ‘maybe feed her less OP, her thighs are kinda chunky’

I saw red and told her to shut the fuck up (just came out my mouth) and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby but ffs who says stuff like that about a 12 year old girl.

Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me that I’m a POS boyfriend and that how can I disrespect my gf like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock everybody is expecting ME to apologize.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

12 year old girls are incredibly vulnerable to body image issues. You're absolutely right to shut down such comments immediately. ######


Prompt:
I am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all.
I am 21 y/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”.

To her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line.
She never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted.

I’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her.

Today I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

1. She's not joking, she's bullying.

2. She's not sorry, she is upset at being called off with truth.

3 even if you didn't have an eating disorder, her comments are rude and inappropriate. Someone genuinely worried about the health of someone else will not speak like this to that person.

If she honest to God does a 180 and flies right, great. Otherwise, keep your guard up and know that she's an AH. ######


Prompt:
I have lived with my roommate for about a year now. We’re both women. We get along fairly well, but have a recurring issue with her eating my food.

I recently went grocery shopping. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything, and she said no. Now because we have had issues with her eating my food in the past, I have resorted to putting post-it-notes on my items to label them so there’s no confusion.

Last week, I had leftovers from dinner that I had been planning on eating the next day and when I woke up, they were gone. I questioned her about it, and got non-answers. I had extra time on my hands, so I decided to make a recipe and use a large amount of ghost peppers in it. I’ll be honest- I didn’t eat any. It was specifically for the purpose of catching her.

I was in my room and all of a sudden I hear her screaming, saying “what the FUCK” and trying to drink milk to calm the effects. I came out and said “How did this happen? I labeled the tray so you wouldn’t confuse it for yours” and long story short, she obviously caught on that I did it on purpose. She called me a bitch and will not speak to me. I’ve told some of my family what happened with mixed reactions, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

1. She took your food without consent.

2. She lied when asked about it. ######


Prompt:
My ex (20) and I (22F) were together for 5 years. In February, they said they wanted to marry me. The past two months (in quarantine), they’ve been talking about how they actually DON’T like me anymore and need some time to think about where this relationship is going. During that time, there were long stints of us “giving each other space” which meant going no contact for a week, two weeks, etc.

I was heartbroken of course. I was devastated, and I took the time they were “taking time for themself” to take time for MYSELF too. I processed my emotions and got really comfortable with the possibility of them leaving me. Well, lo and behold.

Two days ago they dropped the bomb and said they didn’t want to be with me anymore and gave me all the reasons why. I said “You need to know this is permanent. I have no interest in being your friend after we break up and if you leave me like this after five years I’m done.” And they essentially said YUP LATER!

So the next day I changed my relationship status and made a post publicly about how we had decided to end things, it was amicable, etc. just because so many people knew us as a COUPLE (after being together for FIVE YEARS).

Well they had the audacity to text me about how they’re pissed I moved on so fast and how they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me. I told them that’s fine, but they left me so they can’t exactly tell me how to feel and how to move on, especially after I had really been working through the POSSIBLE break up for over a month. They also told they’re pissed I’m advertising myself as single. I said “But I am single? You left me remember?”

What am saying is AITA for “moving on so fast.” This was my first REAL relationship and I genuinely want to know if I’m being an ass here. Thanks everyone! ######

Response:
 NTA.

>they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me

That's some 'Days of Our Lives' level nonsense. ######


Prompt:
As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).

Last week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.

Today during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said "I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on".

I told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability  to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his "context-appropriate" words.

The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for **ruining the mood**

What mood? The one where he was mean to you for literally no reason while you're trying to help him because he's projecting the insecurities that his injury is giving him onto you? ######