Prompt: Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######

Response: NTA it is weird af to choose your child’s birthday to remarry... what is wrong with the other 364 days in the year? ######


Prompt:
I live by a strict...rule(?) of confidentiality. You tell me something and tell me not to tell anyone I will take it to my grave. I expect the same thing back in any of my relationships with people. Obviously its discussed and the trust is built and what not. If I hear back something I have shared with you from someone else, I don't care how long we've been friends. I'll drop you as a friend. I'm loving, caring, and supporting to my friends, heck to random strangers on the internet on a daily. But that's the one thing that matters more to me than anything. I'm an over sharer, and I excitedly tell people things about myself, often followed by a want of things to be kept between us. I'm told this comes to get me quite often, but it's only to those I truly feel like I can tell.

As you might've assumed I no longer want to be friends with a close friend of mine, and my family isn't supportive of it because their "so good for me" and I "would be crazy" and a  "asshole to let go of the friendship". The person told three other people of a big secret I was so scared to tell them, I don't understand why and when asked they said they didnt either. It just doesn't quite make sense to me to continue the friendship, if you could easily slip something like that without feeling bad then I shouldn't feel bad about removing you from my life. My family wants me to rekindle this, but I can't. A secret like that is purposely told. It doesn't slip out of your mouth.

Personally I don't think I'm an asshole at all, reddit? ######

Response: NTA It is totally up to you who you're friends with. In the future though, it'd probably be good to change from following secrets with an "oh keep that secret please" to beginning with "can I tell you something in confidence?" Just, give people an out to say they don't want to hold your secrets and you'll save everybody some heartbreak ######


Prompt:
I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up to 1 year now. Her best friend has been having a 3 month affair with a married man. She knows he is married.

She found out she was pregnant a month back and he has completely disappeared into thin air. He has blocked or deleted her from tinder and she never got his real name (they both went by aliases) and now she is desperately searching for him on Facebook but nothing even in the ballpark has come up.

The guy offered her abortion money and offered to go with her. She refused because she has a 3 y/o and she wants a sibling for her baby.

I can’t say I didn’t see him disappearing. He’s a piece of shit coward for having an affair in the first place and so of course he’s gonna abscond from a pregnancy from his side chick too. From my perspective it’s fairly obvious he was using my girlfriends friend and she should have either known that or have been prepared to deal with the consequences.

My girlfriend is very worried about her friend and keeps talking to me about it and asking what I think even though I’ve made it clear I don’t approve of either of their trashy behavior. I told her ‘well what did she expect?’ She keeps asking me if I think ‘as a man’ is it possible he will come back. I said hell no. Sometimes especially within the context of a couple talking let’s be frank we won’t always be politically correct.

She flipped her shit and said that my attitude towards her pregnant friend is misogynistic and I’m being heartless. I don’t think I am and I feel I’m allowed to have an obvious opinion such as that. ######

Response: NTA it doesn't take a man to see that he's not coming back. What did she expect him to do? Leave his partner for her when they didn't even tell each other their actual names? I think him offering to pay for an abortion was a clear not very subtle hint that he wants nothing to do with a child and in extension her if she has the child. ######


Prompt:
TW; some sensitive topics mentioned!

I considered, briefly not posting but decided to go ahead on a throw away.

My ex’s mother was very controlling, if she didn’t get her way then it was hell, she very often threw it in my ex’s face that he was aggressive (my ex was the calmest man you’d meet, he hated raised voices and would very frequently back down if he saw a fight oncoming)

We moved in together and this made life hell, she’d text him at the early hours drunk out of her mind and tell him nasty manipulative things, about him or his father.

When I found out I was pregnant she said the nastiest thing I could ever imagine, I guess after a while my ex believed her because we buried him not too long after.

I fully believe it was her fault.

Four weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

I guess MIL figured it was around my due date since I haven’t posted anything so she couldn’t have found anything out over social media.

She tells me she’s back on her meds and she broke down sobbing, in the almost 10 years I knew my ex we’ve never seen that woman cry, she asked to at least know the babies name and gender - I refused, told her to ask her son for our babies name and hung up.

I told my mother who claims I was overly harsh and she can’t believe I’d say something like that to someone who is mentally unwell and that it’s just spiteful to not do the bare minimum.

My ex would’ve backed down, so I don’t know what he would’ve wanted.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA It doesn't sound like she's safe for you to be around & I don't think you should communicate with her at all. From the sound of it you feel like her abuse drove him to his grave & that's more than enough reason to cut ties. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.

We’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.

She pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.

I didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA is she even a human being??? That puppy scene fucking wrecked me, is she joking with "not even sad"? What does she consider sad!?? I shudder to think. Your husband is 100% correct in his reaction to this scenario.

Side note though, even if his emotional reaction to a movie was any of her business, she was rude to comment on it and demean him in such a way. Men are allowed to express emotions other than anger now and again. She can take several seats. I wouldn't necessarily hold out for a sincere apology, as that seems unlikely, but you're not wrong here. ######


Prompt:
My [18M] close friend [18F] is someone I have always found attractive (in addition to being fun to hangout with). I didn't think I had a chance with her and didn't want to ruin the friendship so I hadn't made any moves.

She sent me a picture of herself completely naked on snapchat captioned "I want you". I was stunned and super excited. I took a picture of myself naked. After the picture was taken but before I sent it, I saw she had sent another message to me. I sent the picture before reading the message.

The message said " Omg that was obviously meant for the girl I've been talking to". She then opened my picture. She then called me a pervert saying she didn't want to see that. She said its disrespectful. I explained I thought she wanted me but she said that picture was obviously not meant for me. Now she is mad and is "taking a step back" from the friendship. ######

Response: NTA in this case. You didn't know that it wasn't for you. I mean apparently if she does it it's an oopsie, but if you do it it's disrespectful? It was a mistake both times. ######


Prompt: I recently saw a post on fb about a friend who made a face mask that said “I can’t breathe” and her caption said “I love making these they’re so much fun” AITA for wanting to say something? She gets upset if ppl try to copyright her for some stickers she does but she makes bootleg clothes and now “I can’t breathe” masks in all honesty I wouldn’t profit off a movement or someone’s dying words. If I were to make these I would donate them to protestors. Should I just leave it or be the asshole and say something ######

Response:
 NTA in this case. Making things in support of a movement and selling it isn’t always an issue, but holy hell, those masks are in *very* questionable taste.

Putting “I can’t breathe” on a mask seems to be a joke for people complaining about wearing masks, which is a very childish thing to use someones dying words for. ######


Prompt:
My mother was no saint. She had her demons like the rest of us but hers put up more of a fight. In her previous marriage she went through a bad drug addiction and did a lot of damage to her ex husband and their kids, Duncan (36M) and John (34M), who were still teenagers at the time.

Long story short she ran off with another addict (my father) and had me. Wasn't an easy childhood but soon enough my mother picked herself up again and started working on being better. When I was 9, she finally built up the strength to leave my and take me with her. We were broke and homeless so she went to ask Duncan and John for help. I remember her going on her knees asking Duncan to take us in and John throwing us out. Calling her a slut and an addict. That night we slept in the streets but still my mother tried another three times to reconcile and mend things but they never cared.

Last year my mother got a heart attack and almost died. She was diagnosed with CAD. I messaged my *brothers* about her condition. Their response? "We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us". Well she died earlier this year from after a period of rapid heart attacks. I told myself fuck them and I buried my mother at an intimate gathering with her close friends and my wife.

Recently my wife had been asking me to send them a letter so they at least know she's no longer with us. So I did. Well now the both of them have completely lost their shit sending me dozens of messages about how fucked up I am from keeping their mother's death from them and sending threats about how they're going to take 'legal action' against me so I should be prepared. My wife says she wouldn't go as far as calling me an asshole but I probably should have told them sooner. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA in the least. The last time you contacted them about her health they said,
> "We're not giving you any money. Stop contacting us"

Block them and bid good riddance. I understand they have a completely different history with her than what yours was, but you don't deserve the abuse. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway and title sounds bad.

This was last year

I have a 25 year old adult daughter who got pregnant and decided to keep the child. I told her to get an abortion. I am my daughters father.  On Christmas last year my daughter called me and told her I have to adopt her child as she can't take care of it because of college.  I told her no I don't want to adopt a child and have another 18 years of my life wasted.

My daughter became angry at me for not caring about my grand children. I told her I won't sacrifice my lifestyle because of her mistake. I then told her she can deal with the consequence of having the child herself. My daughter told me she won't talk to me unless I adopt her kid. It's been over a year now and my daughter has not talked to me. So now I am wondering if I am an asshole.

So aita for refusing to adopt my daughter's bio kid because it would sacrifice my new life style ######

Response: NTA in regards to not adopting the child but Jesus Christ you are for the way you talk to and about your daughter. ######


Prompt:
##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.

###### Long story short:
I'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.

###### The situation:
People often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples:

> Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very "Canadian" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say "ah I didn't expect that" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).

Or
> People who end up saying "it's impressive you don't have an accent" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).
&nbsp;

Or
> Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the "asian products' aisle.

I am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world.

###### AITA for not answering these types of comments?
Should I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ######

Response: NTA in my opinion you just seem to be extremely understanding and level headed. Most would fly off the hand but honestly in predominately white areas most are not exposed to diversity and really all it takes is a moment of education to help them understand. Those comment seem to have no malicious intent to me so it’s fine but when you sense disrespect or intentional ignorance you should take the chance to respectfully educate. It’s not your job to educate other about diversity but it can be a big help in fight against racism and ignorance. After you’ve give your 2 cents to the person it’s now on them to further educate themselves. The internet is only a click away. ######


Prompt:
So I'm typing this on the hospital and I haven't actually asked him to split the bill yet. We were at a beach earlier and he tackled my when I wasn't looking (basically a boys will be boys incident except it was totally random. I didn't instigate him. I was sober. He was drunk. He tackled me from behind so I didn't have a chance to react. Compound fracture. Surgery tomorrow.

The pain is excruciating and he texted me saying that he was sorry and if there was anything he could do then ask. I have insurance through work but there's a copay that will likely cost $3,700. AITA if I ask him to split the bill? ######

Response: NTA in my opinion asking for only half is extremely generous. He's liable for all of it surely? ######


Prompt:
I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that.

Just to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”.

Now I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”.

At a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her.

As far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA in fact you could look at it completely differently. Your dog gets a pet name, because he's a pet. Your child gets her proper name, because she's a human being deserving of having her proper name used. ######


Prompt: I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA in any way. You were kind enough to invite them after what they did when they first found out you were lesbian. They’re T/As because they:
1) assumed you were marrying a man, even though you had already been out as lesbian
2) agreed to not say hateful shit, then turned around and did it. ######


Prompt:
This happened last November when we went somewhere very cold and dry for a vacation. It was supposed to be kept a secret but since my brother spilled the beans my mother is now angry at me.

We lived in humid tropical climate so this new environment had our skin having "scales" due to the dryness in the air. That was not the worst, the worst was having our lips dry and chapped so bad that drinking water hurts.

I realized somewhere that applying lip balm helps a lot, brought a small tube of it for the trip. I applied it on my brother's lips after feeling its effects, with his permission ofcourse.

My mother wiped it off him after seeing me applying it for him, saying that boys shouldn't apply anything on his lips, and that he should drink more water instead.

Well, I still applied lip balm on him after that, in secret, after telling him not to tell. He agreed to it because he likes its effect too, since chapped lips were really painful.

We kind of brought this up earlier over some casual conversation and my dear brother probably felt that after such a long time passed, it was okay to tell. Despite being history already, my mother still got angry and said that I shouldn't have challenge her authority like that.

All I know was that the lip balm helped my brother's lips from hurting, isn't it all that matters? Plus it was not like my mother actually noticed that I applied it for him, so AITA? ######

Response: NTA in any way- your mum literally asked you not to do something that helped your brother ease his pain she's clearly the asshole, especially considering her reason for such was based on sexism and absolutely stupid. You may have questioned her authority but she proved that her authority was questionable ######


Prompt:
(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)

Yesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that "mom and dad hate me and I don't know why". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.

Fast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?

TLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######

Response: NTA in any shape, way, or form. What on God’s green Earth is wrong with your parents? Why did they even bother having him tested if they didn’t want to accept the apparently very obvious fact that he has ADHD? ######


Prompt:
I’m 25 and have been with my SO for 2 years. I knew she was into polyamory before we started dating but agreed to be monogamous while in the relationship.

Occasionally my SO would ask me what I thought about being poly and I told her I support other people doing it but wasn’t into the idea for us. One month ago she said how it bothered her that we were monogamous and that her being poly is “just who she was.” Eventually I agreed that we could try it in the future.

Before this, she made a new friend and spent a lot of time together. Hanging out at each other’s house and talking and texting on the phone for hours. At first I was happy that she was making a friend not putting 2 and 2 together but last week she revealed that she had feelings for him and vice versa.

I know I agreed to being polyamorous but I can’t help but to feel loss. I feel like my self-defense mechanisms are going to make me stop loving her to deal with the pain of imagining her being embraced by someone else. I was also thinking that if we broke up now we could at least have our memories and be in good terms instead of developing pent up resentment and eventual hatred for an ex. If I could just press a button to be okay with all of this I would. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA in a relationship you shouldn't feel pressured to be something that you aren't, the whole thing with being Poly (I may be wrong) is that everyone in the relationship is comfortable with it. If you aren't comfortable with it and she knows that, she shouldn't be pressuring you into being something that you are not. ######


Prompt:
Little back story here. 8 months ago my wife asked if her sister could come stay with us for a week or two. I  agreed. Now 8 months later after asking my wife several times When is she leaving? Today was the day.
She does not work, her daughter eats all of my children's food and she never stops crying. I know this was important to my wife and she is furious with me. Am I the asshole for not wanting to support someone else and their child?

Edit: more info.

She enrolled her daughter in school after changing her address to my home with out my knowledge. She does help around the house but there is no financial help. I did consult with my wife before acting. Unfortunately  my requests seem to fall on deaf ears...

She will not be homeless she has a place to go. ######

Response:
 NTA IMHO, a "week or two" guest is always on the verge of being told to GTFO.

And honestly, she should have left LONG before this. I'm not sure why you and your wife put up with this, but I'm also not sure why this woman thought staying 8 months, not working, etc. with her and her child being supported by you in your home was in any way appropriate without a sit down with you requesting permission to do so and offering rent, grocery money, etc. ######


Prompt:
My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.

&#x200B;

My roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.

&#x200B;

Usually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.

&#x200B;

A few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm "asleep." So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night.

&#x200B;

I \*could\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.

&#x200B;

AITA for not letting him in? ######

Response: NTA if your roommates bf wants to come over your roommate can wake up and let him in. ######


Prompt:
Recently I have been playing a well known mobile game that, among many other things, allows you to befriend other characters in the game and even marry one of them. This game is played entirely offline - i.e. these are not other people or players that you interact with, just non-playable characters within the game.

Well, when I mentioned this to my spouse, they were quite upset about it - think yelling at me, threatening to take my phone away from me if I continue to play it, telling me that I "should have known" that this would upset them (I did not know this, I swear!), etc. No matter how I tried to explain that it's just a game, it's a non-playable character (not another online player), etc., they were quite adamant - I am not to be playing this game anymore.

The thing is... this game is quite relaxing, as it allows a lot of freedom in what you can do - farming, exploring forests, caves, deserts, and other environments, fishing, etc. With everything that's going on in the world right now, it's nice to have a quiet little game that I can spend a little while playing on my own sometimes. And I should add that it's not like I'm ignoring my spouse to play this game (we spend lots of time together), or playing it to excess (I play it exclusively during downtime like when I'm putting the kids to bed, waiting in a long line, or finishing my coffee when I'm the first one up in the morning).

So I'm still playing the game during those times, but just not telling them about it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA if your husband is jealous of a NPC character in a video game he needs help that's overly controlling and insane. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”

Having heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)

As we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.

She told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.

They knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA if your fiance doesn't want him there then that's the end if it!

From what you've said this man was abusive to finance growing up, he was not supportive of your relationship and is an all round A hole.

Who cares what your MIL thinks? It's not her wedding and you're doing the right thing in ensuring that only the family you and your fiance love and care about attend. ######


Prompt:
I’m getting married next year. My fiancé and I were chatting about the wedding, and he asked me who my bridesmaids are going to be. So I list them off, and he just stares at me. So I ask what’s the matter and he says “well what about L(his sister)?” And I told him that she wasn’t going to be one. He gets PISSED. And he’s like “well if so and so can be a bridesmaid then L should be too! She’s going to cause a scene if she’s not one!”

Let me give you guys some background. I met this girl maybe a month after my fiancé and I started dating. She’s studying to be a cosmetologist so I was being friendly and offered to let her do my hair and she was so excited. And so she and I are sitting in a room and she’s doing my hair and she goes “it’s crazy that you guys have been together for a month, because there’s been like 10 other girls that come to the house at night, so I figured you guys weren’t serious”. So I’m thinking this girl has no reason to lie to me, and I’m cool with his brother so I ask him. He says that it’s not true and L will lie about anything to stir up some drama. Since that night that girl has lied to me about stuff from crazy nights she’s had to being the one who found my dead cousin (yeah, she’s kinda horrible). But not only is she a liar, but a theif! She steals my stuff all the time and claims that she just found it, which my fiancé believes. And the biggest thing, is she puts me down at every opportunity. She tells me that I look stupid in my new clothes or my haircut is ugly, or my makeup is shitty. Just constantly putting me down. And that’s not the energy I want around me on my big day!

I love her to death bc at the end of the day she’s my sister now. But I don’t trust her, and I don’t like her. But my fiancé is furious that his cousins can be bridesmaids but not his sister. AITA? ######

Response: NTA If your fiancé really wants her as part of the bridal party then she can stand up with him as his best woman, there’s no law that says you have to have your future in-laws in your wedding party, the same as there’s no rule about having the opposite sex in the bridal party and it’s acceptable and accepted that a male may have a female in his best woman, then same as its acceptable to have a male in a bridal party. ######


Prompt:
I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.
I live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.

When my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.

My dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ######

Response: NTA if your father is siding with your mother then he should give his to her if anything. Dont feel guilty you did what you could with a shitty situation. ######


Prompt:
So I (F20) currently share an apartment with my brother (M21). My boyfriend (M26) has been staying with me during the pandemic. I've had an apartment with my brother for two years and I'll be moving out in a few days. Over the course of the two years we've lived together, my parents have come up many times and have stayed the night. This wouldn't really bother me if they ever bothered to talk to me about it first. They always discuss coming over with my brother and I'll get told a few days before they arrive if I'm lucky (there have been multiple times I've figured out because my dad has called me telling me to get ready to pack their stuff up to my third floor apartment). At one point I had to start threatening to lock them out for hours until my brother came home to even get told a few days in advance again.
Now my boyfriend tries to get along with my family. Early on my parents decided they didn't like him based on my brother deciding he's "off-putting" before having a conversation with him. My brother had decided that because my boyfriend is the awkward quiet type and he's not usually very confident.
So everytime my parents come over, they expect my boyfriend to go somewhere else (which has caused a lot of unnecessary spending on hotels). Today, my brother and my parents decided they'd be coming up tomorrow and spending a few nights at my apartment and my brother told me that my boyfriend needs to find somewhere to stay while they're up here.
It should be noted that my boyfriend has never spent the night around my family and he wasn't very against staying time at hotels so he didn't have to listen to my dad tell us that he essentially can control what goes on in my apartment as my guarantor (I checked the lease and the law and he has 0 rights). But we don't want to spend more money than we have to since we're trying to start a life together.
So, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored my family and decided to keep my boyfriend with me at my apartment? ######

Response: NTA If your bf lives there with you, it's super rude for them to expect him to go rent a hotel last minute for the duration of their stay. If it were me, I'd either insist the bf stay or if he wasn't comfortable with that, I'd go stay with him at the hotel and not visit with the parent while they're there. They need to learn to not be so entitled in your apartment. And not be such a dick to your bf ######


Prompt:
So maybe I needn't have been so direct, but we have a really old fence that has significantly misaligned slats. While it's mostly never a problem and they think some bushes near these gaps give them some privacy, I've noticed that if I sit at the far end of my patio, I can not only see comfortably into their backyard, but on one occasion caught an ample glance of his wife tanning nude by their pool. Granted, it's not terrible, but I still felt like they ought to know.

His response? He told me to stop perving on his wife and mind my own business. Now I regret telling him and my wife tells me I should've let her tell his wife. AITA here? I'm just trying to inform them of something that costs them more than it does to us. ######

Response:
 NTA if you're telling them as a courtesy. I get the feeling a few people might reply here and say 'then just don't look' but that's missing the point.

Well, you told them which was good, nothing more you can do now except cover your side of the fence so you can't see them as much. Maybe they're okay with not having a ton of privacy ######


Prompt:
 Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.

I woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.

I went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.

Am I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######

Response: NTA If you're in a relationship,  you tell your partner when you go to the hospital. ######


Prompt:
My gf moved in with me shortly after the pandemic began for financial reasons mostly

She hates that i let my 2 rabbits free roam my house. She’s a neat freak and she hates the hair, hay, and the fact they occasionally drop a turd out of their litter box (which is picked up by my automated vaccuum quickly)

AITA for wanting them to continue to live their lives as is and not forcing them to give up their freedoms because my gf can’t handle what amounts to a RARE tiny rabbit pellet, some hay near their litter box, and their hair. It is my house afterall. ######

Response: NTA if you put them in a cage now they'll go crazy. I have an outdoor freeroamer and if she has to be put away for safety reasons, she'll immediately try to escape ######


Prompt: So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ######

Response: NTA if you pay for it, and its slowing your internet down, you have every right to preserve what you pay for ######


Prompt:
My neighbors have an active 2 year old who is outside constantly. They often supervise him but he runs away pretty fast and sometimes evade their views. He is constantly playing on my front porch and flower bed. Moving my rocks and flower bed coverings etc. They sometimes catch him quickly enough and move him away but sometimes they also just let him continue playing there.  I feel petty because it sounds like not a big deal but there are 3 issues that I have with this.

1) I have a motion doorbell so when he plays in my porch area, it goes off on my alerts constantly. Yes I can turn off the notifications but then I wouldn’t get notifications for when I actually have visitor which is what it’s there for.

2) it riles my dog up like crazy so him to see a little toddler outside playing so close. So my dog ends up barking like crazy for the duration of his play

3) I have a fairly large window well to the basement window which is about 2.5-3ft deep. It is completely uncovered and fully open in the flower bed.

This is my biggest concern that the kid will run into the flower bed and fall in the window well. Now I have no kids and I don’t want to put a grate on it bc it obstructs my view in the basement. And in general, no adults would step in there but since this kid keeps playing in there, I’m worried that I’m liable for any injuries!

So today, he was playing with in the flower bed again with his caregiver watching. I went up to my front window to gesture like what are you doing?? And the caregiver pulled the kid away while looking disgusted at me. Reddit: AITA here?? ######

Response: NTA if you haven't already, warn them about the danger of the kid falling into the window well. Let them know you have them on camera. Like someone already suggested, tell them you see cats using the flower bed as a litter box. That should work as a good deterrent. ######


Prompt:
I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved.

To be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said "Please don't park here again. It's reserved." I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day.

Today, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, "Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved." My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it.

I've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying "We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed.

So, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ######

Response: NTA if you get it towed.  Is it always the same car, or is it different offenders?  Either way, the fact that they read the note and didn't correct the behaviour is way more justification than you actually need.  Tow away to your heart's content. ######


Prompt:
Pretty simple story.

So, we ordered from Dominos for lunch. She said she just wanted those breadstick and wings. I confirmed if that was all she wanted a couple times.

When the pizza came, she asked for a slice. I refused. She already ate probably around 12 wings, and 2 bread sticks. She also specifically said that she didn’t want pizza. She can’t have her cake and eat it too, or I guess eat her cake and have it too!

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA if you dont want pizza you arent getting pizza. Some of these replies dont make any sense. They basically want you to be some mind reader and do the opposite of what she says. If anyone thinks the GFs way of communicating is mature and reasonable you should rethink things.

Be an adult and use your words to say what you mean so there is no miscommunication. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé (32M) has guardianship of his 13 year old sister. When we get married, we plan for me to have guardianship of her as well. I live with them and parent her for all intents and purposes. I check homework, take her to school (or right now, make sure she’s doing online schooling), make the two of them meals, do her laundry, talk to her about things, etc. Her mom died when she was little and she has said I’m like a mother figure to her.

Recently, we were talking about makeup and such. She brought it up. She asked me if she could get makeup. I didn’t see a big deal in it and got her some neutral lip glosses, lipsticks and mascaras. It was nothing wild and all went with her skin tones. I taught her how to apply it and she seemed to be happy with it.

My fiancé, however, is not happy. He says this wasn’t my choice to make and I should’ve asked him first. I’ve bought stuff for her in the past without asking him and it’s never been an issue. He’s had me deal with “girl stuff” when it comes to her, such as taking her bra and regular clothes shopping, dealing with her first period, etc. I didn’t think makeup would be any different. He says that he can’t tell her to not wear it now,because I already gave it to her. I said it was just lip gloss and some mascara and he was still upset. He said “he’s her guardian, it’s up to her”. To me, I’m more than just the fiancé.

Am I in the wrong here? ######

Response: NTA if you buy her bras and feminine hygiene products, buying makeup would seem to be a natural extension. ######


Prompt:
Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F

From what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very "waste not want not"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.

My girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.

She has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.

Her mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.

So, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.

Her argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.

We've talked and argued several times.

I had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.

My girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.

My mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.

We tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA if you asked her to stop and she wouldn't. ######


Prompt:
My maternal grandmother passed way because of throat cancer when I was in the seventh grade. She left all of her granddaughters a necklace that she has custom made for them (she asked us which was our favorite gem). At the time I was crazy about rubies and she actually got me a custom made necklace with rubies. It was beautiful and something that I wanted to treasure as an heirloom because it was my grandmother's last gift to me.

Fast forward a couple of years, I was in Grade 12 when my eldest cousin sister was getting married. I couldn't attend the wedding cause I live in a different country and it was too close to my final exams. My narcissistic mother however attended. After she came back, and my exams were over. I asked her what she gave my cousin for her wedding present. (I was so stressed about exams that I wasn't involved in the wedding discussions at all). She told me she gave her that ruby necklace.

She gave my cousin sister my ruby necklace without even asking me because according to her it would be a waste of money to buy something when she already had that.

I was devasted. But I couldn't do anything apart from cry and get angry.

It's been years now. And I have been thinking about asking my cousin for the necklace back after explaining the situation.

WIBTA if I demanded the necklace back? ######

Response: NTA if you asked but YWBTA if you demanded. If you explained and she was understand, she would more than likely gift it back (I know I would and apologise even though it's not her fault for not knowing!). Hopefully it won't come to the point where you have to demand. In this situation, neither of you are in the wrong (yet) and all fault lies with your mum. ######


Prompt:
For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me.

I’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me.

In my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.

Now on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan.

That made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ######

Response: NTA if you are in a straight cis passing relationship that doesn't make you valid to a lot of lgbt people which is 100 percent wrong... you're still valid as a pan person and I say go without them. They AH. ######


Prompt:
My dad is, to put it mildly, pretty selfish when it comes to food. If there are, for example, a pepperoni and a BBQ chicken pizza in the fridge he'll eat the latter purely because he knows it's the one meant for my tea.

More than once I've gone to make myself something to eat, only to realise that my dad has eaten his way through the things we both like and only left the things I _don't_. It's deliberate.

He is, however, differently picky about food than I am. Among other things, he won't eat pasta, spinach, or anything explicitly labelled as vegetarian or vegan.

So to prevent him from eating my food before his own I often buy things I _know_ he doesn't like. Tortellini, spinach and ricotta pizza, veggie chilli, etc. This means I have a stock of "easy" foods, without having to worry if they're going to be eaten before I want them.

He then complains there's nothing to eat. The fridge, freezer, and cupboards can be rammed full...but if everything of mine is stuff he won't eat, then there's "nothing".

AITA for depriving my dad of the ability to eat everything that's meant for my meals? ######

Response: NTA if you are buying the food yourself and he is eating it. ######


Prompt:
For context - I'm back in my hometown, staying with my parents, grandfather and sister in a small apartment which has only two bedrooms. Needless to say, this has led to cabin fever.

Today, my sister came to me with some news related to her job offer (they have delayed the joining date and reduced the salary) and I wasn't properly sympathetic because I was in the middle of some work (total asshole here, I agree).

Later, when talking to her and my mother things got heated because I hadn't displayed proper empathy to my sister. My mother got angry, and when she gets angry she starts screaming. She started telling me off and complaining about how much my sister and I fight.

Now, my parents have a very contentious marriage. I have grown up witnessing bitter fights every day, and my mother's constant complaining of my dad not living up to her expectations.

Back to the situation - I got fed up with my mother's screaming and I said well you shouldn't complain about us, you and dad fight too so how is this different.

Me saying this was unforgivable, and I have no right to comment on their marriage.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA if this is all there really is to it; it just seems like a really small hill for your mom to die on. If their fighting is so severe then it might just be a particularly sore spot for her. I was leaning a bit N / A / H for that reason but honestly, her getting so offended by that is probably because she was rightfully called out. ######


Prompt: I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition/feeding tube/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ######

Response:
 NTA if this continues that is considered trespassing. Make sure she knows that

Edit: I suck at grammar sometimes ######


Prompt:
They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.

So they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.

So I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were "too nice to say anything."

I just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ######

Response: NTA if they start hitting the house, take pictures and inform the owner, your landlord.  you don’t want to get accused of damage when it’s not your fault.  Keep texts as proof and next time, video it! ######


Prompt:
I'm an Atheist, only my mother knows this and she hates talking about anything surrounding beliefs or her own, especially since I came out about my beliefs. She keeps her feelings about my beliefs tucked down deep.

Anyhow for context my grandmother is extremely religious, she's very much your typical old age thinking person.

Me and my mother were talking about a conversation i had with my father where he asked if I was fasting this Ramadan and I said no.

After that she told me not to tell my uncle I'm not fasting if he calls me since he lives with his mother (my grandmother) who he would likely tell since it would bother her.

I said no I'm not lying, you know me and who I am, if my grandmother can't handle the fact that I'm not fasting then so be it, that's her problem not mine.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA if they ask and you tell them. No reason to lie for their sensibilities. More of a toss up if you volunteer that information without them asking. You do you though. ######


Prompt:
So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story.

I tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?

Since people keep asking here is Honey
My baby! https://imgur.com/gallery/bn8300N ######

Response: NTA if she replies to Honey then that’s her name. My dogs name was Howell before I got him and I changed it to Ollie and he instantly took to it. Also - it’s your fricking dog now. Your friend needs to chill. ######


Prompt:
My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.

For context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.

Currently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ######

Response: NTA if she is not paying she cant live there ######


Prompt:
My stepmother (49F), who we'll call Mary, is a conservative, and also does extreme racist things, which I'm not going to delve into right now. She got married to my dad when I was 14, and after she moved in, she used to force me to diet, and tell me that men liked women who did this, and that.

She and my dad moved into my apartment as they lost their house due to the virus. They are not paying any expenses, or chipping in.

Yesterday at dinner, I told them my boyfriend was moving in with us, and she replied with "India? Which state is he from?" and I tell her Kerala. So she tells me that he can't move in with us because he's from Asia, and Kerala is a dirty place where uneducated people live, etc, that he can't move into her house, and that I need to break up with him ASAP.

I told her that she doesn't own my apartment, and if she doesn't like him being in MY apartment, she can move out. Also called her out for her racism and ignorance.

She got up crying and rushed into my bedroom. Heard things being thrown around and breaking, so I went in, and found a ceramic music box my grandpa got me shattered in pieces.

I was furious. My grandpa is dead, and that was one of the only things I had from him. I actually snapped. Told her that she isn't my mother, and she can't go around having tantrums and did some other things I'm not ashamed of, and then kicked her out.

My dad says that I should apologise, and I told him he might as well get out of my house as well.
Boyfriend moved this morning, and my actual mom did too. These are the only two people who think Mary had it coming. My dad called me up an hour ago, and told me that I really hurt her with my comments, especially the one where I told her she was not my mom, and so I blocked him.

My step aunt caught wind of this, and told me I was an ungrateful brat what with her taking care of me my entire childhood when my "failure of a mother couldn't."

So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA if NOTHING else she PURPOSELY broke a very special DEAD relatives’ item. Because you wouldn’t immediately break up with someone she irrationally deemed unhygienic.

If she didn’t want to stir the pot she probably shouldn’t have had an entitled temper tantrum where she broke your possessions. SHE can apologize AND she can either replace with monetary value the stuff she broke or she can try to glue it all back together.

Either way you are NOT THE ASS!!! I’m so mad for you!!! ######


Prompt:
I’m getting married soon (don’t worry it’s a covid safe option). Everything has been kind of sinking in and while I can’t wait to marry him, I’m feeling a little sad about giving up my “identity” by becoming “Mrs XYZ.”   I’m well known within my field and earned a Masters degree with this name, am nationally/globally licensed with this name.

Our names are NOT compatible for hyphenation; it would be like a 20 letter last name.

I asked tonight if he would be upset if I didn’t change my last name. He was not impressed and stated that it’s tradition, and that I must not want to share my kids last name or be a real family with him. I think I just hurt his feelings, but AITA for not feeling great about giving up my name? ######

Response: NTA If it’s important to him that you all share a last name he could take yours. ######


Prompt:
I own a building with three units in it. I live in one of them and rent out the other two. One of the reasons I bought this place because it has a huge garage. The garage was technically made so it could accommodate cars from the three units. I however use the whole space for myself.

Anyway a while ago one of my tenants has asked if they’re boyfriend can move in and be added to the lease. I had no problem with that and we did all the paperwork.

It turns out her boyfriend is disabled and unable to walk long distances. I got a text from her asking if he can have a spot to park in the garage because he’s having a hard time finding parking on the street that close enough.

I reminded her I do not provide parking to any of my tenants and that I am already using all the space.

She said that I have to provide handicapped parking.

Now I have actually looked this up before in case this was an issue and I informed her how legally I only have provide handicapped parking if I provide parking to any of my tenants which I do not and am also not required to provide.

She replied to me saying:
“He’s disabled! He needs the space more than you do. Do you expect him to walk home from blocks away and injure himself”

So I tried to stay neutral in my reply:

“I understand that that parking is an issue for him. If the both of you would like to leave and find a  new place to live I can end your lease early after this month”

She said “seriously? You’re not going to accommodate your disabled tenant? And you expect us to move out with everything going on. Wow. He’s going to hurt himself and it’s going to be all your fault”

Look I really do understand that he is disabled and he could injure himself if he is forced to park so far away, but I feel like I always made the parking situation clear with my tenants. ######

Response: NTA If it's been clear the entire time she's lived there that you do not provide parking for your tenants, it's her own negligence if her boyfriend gets hurt. If it was really important to her boyfriend to have close parking, she should have inquired about it before having him move in. Of course, I'm sympathetic to her boyfriend's struggle, but that doesn't make it your fault that she didn't do her due diligence and put her boyfriend's needs first. You went as far as to offer to let them out of their lease, which I don't think many landlords would do. I think you're in the clear here. ######


Prompt:
I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I’m 20 and I live with my parents and my brother (25). On to the story.

We live in a somewhat rural area. My Mom and Dad went for a walk with the dogs. On the walk, my Dad saw an orange on the side of the road. We don’t live in an area where oranges grow, so clearly someone dropped or threw it out of their car. Over the protests of my Mom, he picked it up and brought it home because it’s a “perfectly good” orange. My Mom was upset about this but didn’t want to confront him, instead talked to me about how she’s worried about bugs and fruit flies and also the orange is gross. Which I agreed with. My brother, my Mom, and I all separately talked to him about how the orange is gross, he got angry and said, “that’s a perfectly good orange, if you don’t want it you don’t have to eat it.”

Two days after he picked it up, I walked into the kitchen. And saw it in the fruit bowl with all the good fruit. He keeps picking it up and putting it in the fruit bowl when I remove it. I saw that it was turning brown and I touched it and it was mushy. I couldn’t take it anymore and I threw that fucking thing down the garbage disposal.

I got an earful from my Dad, who was furious. I also got an earful from my Mom and my brother for making him furious when we’re all trapped together, and it’s just an orange.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA if it was such a good orange, why didn't your Dad eat it? ######


Prompt:
today my stepdad refused to let my little sister put makeup on him and when i asked him why, he said it's because men aren't allowed to use makeup. i told him that it's 2020 and dozens of men wear makeup, to which he replied those people weren't "real men". i asked him to elaborate and he said that since they chose to play a feminine role, they weren't men.

i'm a lesbian and while my parents know that, they don't want to believe it and refuse to let me talk about it or properly come out to them. i asked him if me dressing masculine (which is something i do, simply because i like the look on me) makes me less of a woman. he said yes.

i called him out on his bullshit and told him he’s being ignorant. then i left the room. now he acts like i'm being dramatic and should stop ignoring him. am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA If I were you I would make him tell you his favourite actors or celebrities and then show him videos of them in a dressing room, WWE fan? All makeup. Reality TV? Makeup. He has a mentality on that which is all kinds if messed up and illogical. ######


Prompt:
So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far...

So the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me.

Fast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room?

AITA?

TLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######

Response: NTA if I was a parent and my kid casually dismissed their friend getting hit by a car I would be way more concerned about that. ######


Prompt:
I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)

Ever since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to

A cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because

1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home
2. I’m a bit possessive about it.
3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it

I’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ######

Response: NTA if I built it and put money into it I’m keeping it. ######


Prompt:
I am a 20yr zoology and environmental science student from the US. I was on a hike with my mom and brother to celebrate the end of the online semester when I saw a honeybee on a dandelion. I looked down to take a picture and started talking about how they are endangered and how cute they are when my 18 yr brother full on stomped on the bee. I yelled at him in surprise and was super pissed that the bee was dead for no reason. He claimed he did it bc he’s scared of bees.
I was mad at him the rest of the day, basically just being curt and not very talkative with him. My parents think I am just being sensitive, which I probably am, but I think its wrong to hurt an endangered species just because you are scared of them. It’s a bee, please just walk away. But in the end I may be acting like an asshole for giving him the cold shoulder. AITA? ######

Response: NTA If he’s scared of bees he should stay away from them, not approach them closer to stomp on them. Whether he’s afraid of them or not, he was deliberately provoking you. ######


Prompt:
Over the months, I've finally had time to paint and so I've made money off painting art commissions. I ordered a Switch and its meant to arrive some ime this week, and so I withdrew some cash so I can pay for it (cash on delivery)

Now the problem is, my family has seen the wad of cash and has gradually borrowed money from it that it went from 12k to 2k. It's fine because I'm tracking the package and it wont be here 'til Monday, so I still have time to withdraw more cash and thankfully, I still have enough even if they don't pay me by then if my tracking is correct. And usually they notify me first and ask nicely.

This morning, my brother just casually dropped he took money from my wallet this morning while I was asleep. I got pissed and said "you people aren't entitled to my money". He got pissed too and said I shouldn't be acting like that, that he has been earning far longer and he never got my selfish attitude, and that he at least said she took it right now because she didn't want to wake me up.

AITA for my attitude over my money? ######

Response:
 NTA if he’s been an earning longer he shouldn’t need to take your money over and over. I get helping people out but they can’t keep taking from you. How can you ever have your own money if they do. He pretty much stole from you in your sleep. It’s like they searched for your hidden money since it was packed away. They were already snooping and found it.

~~How can you let people take 10k from you?!~~

~~Also why did you have 12k just lying around the house? Family or not, that’s not the smartest thing. Plus, The switch doesn’t cost that much unless we aren’t taking about dollars $ and the value is different?~~

Edit: If it is Kroner then that’s $1,200 and they took $1k, which makes more sense. ######


Prompt:
Context: Me (29f) and husband (32M) have been married for just over 3 months.

My sister bought a Birkin in store a few months ago, and asked me if I wanted to buy it from her. I've always wanted that specific bag, and it's been sold out everywhere so when she offered I jumped.

My husband and I have separate finances except for one joint account for household expenses. We also decided on a percentage of income to save for future baby, retirement etc.  I come from a wealthy family, so I do have a bit of money that I did not get from my work. Prior to our marriage we had the same system of mostly separate finances, one joint account. Neither of us kicked up a fuss when we bought expensive things as long as we didn't pay for it using our joint account or dip into the agreed savings.

While this may not be perfect, it worked well for us. I bought the bag and brought it home. My husband saw it and freaked out. He said I shouldn't have bought such an expensive bag without asking him first. I tell him that it was my money and I didn't break any of the aforementioned rules. He replied that it's different since we are married now and that everything I own is his now as well, and that I can't spend on useless things anymore.

I'm just, genuinely confused. I didn't dip into my savings, nor did I use our joint account. This was a system we had for 5 years before we got married and he didn't have an issue with it. ######

Response: NTA if he wants to change the rules he needs to talk to you about it ######


Prompt: I chose to lock up with my family while my state is on lock down. Mistake. My stepfather is an ass. Man has never once said thank you in his life and will complain about everything and anything. He rides my ass 24/7 and makes me feel about 2 feet tall. Well I decided to make us a nice dinner. Stuffed boneless chicken, herb rice, baked potatos, all the fixens. The works. This man stood over my shoulder and cried and whined the entire time. He wanted cheese rice instead. Why wasn't I stacking the chicken in the stove. I was gonna overcook the chicken it needs to be 150 instead of 165 no one wants overcooked chicken. My potatos were "Wrong. Just wrong". He kept saying that. "Wrong. Just wrong. I cooked in the navy". Finally he kept snapping at me to pull up my "Sorces" on how to cook chicken and I snapped and pulled the tray out of the stove and told him to cook his own f*cking meal then I left and took a shower. I get that that was childish but like half the family has spent days locked in their room to avoid his crying needy whiny bullshit so I don't get why my family is mad at me. I am so sick of playing mommy to a 50 year old man. ######

Response: NTA if he doesn't like what you're making he can shut his mouth and make his own food. ######


Prompt:
I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times.

My order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.

So, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######

Response:
 NTA If everyone did what this worker did, going outside would be hell.Not like anyone's leaving "consider not believing in god or burn" pamphlets.

Good on you for being invested enough to leave a review (but maybe don't be to upset about something kinda insignificant, in case you were) ######


Prompt:
My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021.

I’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.

My fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was video chatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her”. My fiancé mad a bit of a half assed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.

Afterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.

He claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.

He got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA if can't stand up to obvious racism now he's not magically going to grow a spine and stand up for you and your children later ######


Prompt:
My parents split when I was around 6ish, my dad never remarried but my mom remarried almost recently to a guy who had 3 kids who were 8, 5 and 2 and I was 7 at the time.  I don't want to fully blame my mom but she rushed things, I wasn't hot on my parents divorcing and then BAM I had a new family just like that and my dad didn't matter other than the 3 days every other week I was at his place.

I never really liked having a new family cause I had a family and it was uprooted and had a brand new one in less than 2 years.  The kids felt almost the exact same way cause their dad rushed things just as bad.  The "family" didn't blend at all, and when I turned 15 I started spending a lot of my time at my dad's.  I hold no grudge against the steps but they aren't my family and if asked they would say the same about me.  Only reason I don't live with him full time is cause its pretty bad and is literally lopsided.

I don't know what happened and he's never done this before but when I came over there he started to lecture me about the importance of "family" and that I should try to get to know my "siblings" more.  That struck a cord cause it sounds something almost exactly like what my mom would say and I told him that he was sounding like mom and left the house.  I spent the night at my friend's house before returning to my mom's.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA if after 8 years you still don't have a bond with them, it's clearly never gonna happen and your mother needs to stay out of your dads business ######


Prompt:
A few years ago a friend of mine was given the whole set of a manga collection (around 20 books or so) from a family friend. She wasn't overly interested in manga so decided to gift them to me for my birthday.

I LOVE this series; it's one of my favourites and I was planning on taking this set to university with me in a few months. However earlier today this friend messaged me, in a group chat mind not PM, asking if she could have the books back. She claimed that the original owner wanted them back, so she wanted them back to return to the owner.

To be honest I don't want to give them back; they were originally a present to my friend who gifted them to me, and I feel that both my friend and the original owner are being rude to ask for them back.

WIBTA if I said I want to keep them?

Quick Update: I talked to my friend about it and she had never wanted to ask for them back in the first place. Her family is rather strict and believes that "you should always help your family no matter what". The original owner (her family friend) had been harassing my friend to get the books back, and only asked me to get them to stop nagging her. ######

Response: NTA if a person gives a gift there is no return even more if it has been years. ######


Prompt:
This is an awkward one... so making it short

I am a 22 year old guy living with parents right now. My 84 year old grandmother, after the death of her husband, became depressed and her health declined rapidly. She has become quiet and frail, with the intelligence of a baby, and she cannot even eat or go bathroom without help.

My parents were out for a while and they've asked me to keep an eye on grandma till her caretaker arrives. She was supposed to come by 4.30pm. Grandma was sleeping so it should have been a breeze, or so I thought.

Around 3pm, grandma peed herself. She was not on diapers because she could make noise when she needed to go, but this time she did it on her bed directly.

I cleaned her up. When I say cleaned, I don't think you need more hints. I kind of carried her off the bed, pulled off her pants and you know, wiped her clean and changed her a pair of clean pants. Hey she is an old woman and could not help herself, so I help her, nothing inappropriate, or so I thought.

Both my parents and the caretaker gave me very weird looks after telling them what I did. I wasn't scolded or what, just told that if there were a next time, to call the caretaker instead and she would come sooner. My mother also said that it was incredibly rude and disrespectful to touch my grandmother as a guy, even if she barely had much awareness.

AITA for this? ######

Response:
 NTA if a male caretaker did this, would it be weird? You took care of your grandmother! Was it weird when your grandmother changed your diapers as a baby? NO! You're in reversed roles right now, not weird, not inappropriate, and anyone who says otherwise is the one with the problem. Were you supposed to let her sit in urine soaked sheets and clothes for hours?

You're a GREAT grandson. ######


Prompt:
My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free

I got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house.

She defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them.

I lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ######

Response: NTA I’ve been reading a lot of r/choosingbeggars and your mom reminds me of some of those people tbh lol ######


Prompt:
Hey everyone, long time lurker but first time posting. My bf (23m) and I (21f) have been together almost 2 years now, I fell pregnant pretty early on in the relationship which I understand was hard because we didn’t get much time to just ourselves before our son came along.

I’m unsure how to type this because I’m exhausted as it’s 3am here but I’m just so upset. Since our son has been born my partner has woken up in the morning with him once. Every single day no matter what time and even if I worked the night before I still get up in the mornings. Our son is still exclusively breastfeeding so I do the night wakings as well. Sometimes it can be every hour he wakes especially when he’s teething. My partner gets the sleep through it all, which I understand because our son is breastfeeding but it’s still hard. Most nights my partner stays up playing his games till 2-3am and sleeps until I wake him at 10-11am. I’ve tried waking him earlier but he’s not a morning person and gets mad and tries to ignore me to go back to sleep. So we usually end up fighting. Tonight I woke up to find him awake again and I just snapped because I’m so sick of watching him get to stay up as late as he wants to and sleep in every single day. I’ve tried to speak to him about it multiple times before but nothing has changed, I’m so exhausted all the time and I feel like he doesn’t give a damn. He got pissed off because of my “attitude” towards him. I don’t know what to do but he’s treating me as tho I’m in the wrong for getting mad at him for this. So AITA here? Can anyone suggest a way to talk to him about this without being TA? I’m so tired so I hope this makes sense..

Edit- I should add here that he’s an amazing dad when he’s awake during the day, it’s just this one issue of never actually getting out of bed in the mornings.

Edit 2- my son refuses bottles no matter how hard we try so I can’t express my milk for him to do feedings. ######

Response:
 NTA I’m so sorry. He’s not being a responsible dad and partner leaving it all on you. This is not right. You need help and he needs to step up. You’re barely sleeping and he’s playing video games and yelling at you for asking for help

I don’t know if you want to go to a couples counselor or have some family step in to back you up or what but you’re not in the wrong here ######


Prompt:
Last year my parents lost almost everything they had, they literally had no money to buy food. They were always nice to me and they paid for my college so I thought it was kind of my duty to support them untill they become financially independent again
I (28m) am making 120k a year, but still since we we were living in the same city I decided to move in with my parents to not to waste money on rent while I help them financially. My dad got his business again, so far it is going well even though there almost no profits. I am hoping that it will soon be profitable.
My brother (32m)also lives with my parents and he is a total failure, he has never had a job. He only had a few failed businesses (my parent gave him the money to start the business). For the last 1 year I have been the sole source of income for the family, I have been paying for the food, utilites and all the other costs. Since my brother has never had a job, he cant get a job right now and my parents no longer have the money to give him to start another failed business, he has been unemployed. And he has ego problem, he cant go work minimum wage jobs. I recently learned that my brother has been taking money from my parents (the money I give them) and spending on going out with his friends. When I learned it I told my parents that he should not get any money, and he should not even eat the food I buy untill he gets a job on his own, even if it is a minimum wage job. My parents told me that I was overreacting and my brother called me the AH. Am I really the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA I’m so done with siblings at this point ######


Prompt:
My Daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the kid, he's a great kid, gets good grades and addresses us with "Sir" and "Ma'am" respectively. So, it's not like we disapprove..However, every month it's "Hey mom it's our 1 month can I order us grubhub?" "Its our 2 month, 3 month" ECT. You get the point.
We just moved into a bigger house, so naturally, bills are more. We haven't even received our first round of bills yet and we're apprehensive about blowing money. Everytime she orders it's at least 35 dollars!
So, here's the questionable statement I made. "Guys, I love you both and you know we like having you around boyfriend, so don't take this the wrong way. Not every month is an anniversary and doesn't require spending 30-50 dollars. I know they feel special and that's great but Dad and I can't afford to blow money right now"
There it is..I was met with dagger stares and my daughter exclaimed "Wow mom, thanks for taking a dump on our happiness!" Boyfriend just looked embarrassed and didn't say anything. He's usually the one trying to get her under control. My daughter has a hot head like her Father. Am I the asshole?? I don't feel like I should have to fork out money for food, rides to special locations and go out of my way everytime they make it another month. 14yo daughter btw.

Info: she's paid 200 a month, I had already prepared dinner with more than enough to go around and the questionable statement I made was after 5-6 "but why??" Statements. I shouldn't have down played their day, I was young once and had a first long boyfriend. There will definitely be some family budgeting and personal budgeting talks but I'm hoping this teen parenting thing gets more seamless in 10 years because her 4yo sister is next😂 ######

Response: NTA I’m a teenage girl, so I feel I have a pretty good stance from her side as well. If she wants to spend a ton of money on her and her boyfriend she could always get a job. Then she could see for herself how hard earning money is and why you don’t want to spend that much every month currently. Also, does the BF chip in at all?! I’m from the Midwest and we either Go Amish or He pays unless the girl makes significantly more. ######


Prompt:
My brother (16M) and I (18F) regularly refer to each other as “Dude”, “Boy”, Bro”, “Man”, “My guy”, etc. That’s just how we naturally talk to each other in conversations and my mom hates it because my brother “shouldn’t be using masculine words like dude” to describe me and a “proper lady” shouldn’t use words like “bro” and “dude”, etc. She said that it’s trashy, low class, and “below us”. We’ve tried to change the way we talk around her so we don’t get scolded but she still gives us a funny look when it slips out sometimes.
She also HATES it when she calls our names from far away in the house and sometimes we answer “Yeah?” Instead of “Yes?”. It’s a habit that’s hard to break because we talk to everyone else in my family along with friends like that and they don’t mind it. She’ll always say, “Don’t say “yeah” to me, it’s disrespectful. I’m your mother. Start over.” And she’ll ignore me until we say “yes.” It gets her SO worked up that it’s hard not to laugh sometimes but I don’t want to offend her if it can be taken by others the wrong way.

So am I wrong here? Idk if older adults see it differently but is saying words like “Yeah” and “Dude” offensive or disrespectful? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. ######

Response: NTA I’ll bet your mom is super fun at parties. ######


Prompt:
I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool.

While we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23)
They would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice.

The topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to)

Anyway I dropped it.

Now we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.
Yesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine)
I told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him.

WIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######

Response: NTA I’d say you’d be in the clear, he’s 23, he can make his own life decisions. ######


Prompt:
I know the title sounds AWFUL, but hear me out. Throwaway in case she’s on reddit. This story happened before pandemic hit.

My roommate is a sweetheart most of the time, and I like to think that we’re pretty good friends. However, since she was randomly assigned to our apartment, I understand that she has different boundaries than I do which I respect whole-heartedly. She locks her bedroom door when shes not home, and while it does kind of sting that she’d think me or other roommate would do something nefarious, I get it. Our doors have two locks on them; both have a key, but one is flimsy. She stayed the night at her partners house one day, and has a stand alone alarm clock that she uses instead of her phone.

Well, evidently she forgot to turn off the clock and at 7AM it started beeping. I had gotten done working a night shift and was BONE tired. All I wanted was the alarm clock to go off. I called and texted her 3-4x, but she didn’t pick up. So, I went upstairs, picked the bedroom flimsy door lock with my fingernail, and turned the alarm off so I could rest. She came home and was pretty upset asking what I was doing in her room, despite me telling her that the alarm went off for a long time while she was gone. She ended up locking herself in her room and things were tense for a long while after, and I have passed her locking both locks in her room as of recently.  At one point she was on the phone upstairs telling her friend how I broke into her room (thin walls). I feel awful.

Was I an asshole for essentially breaking into her room so that I could turn her alarm off? I feel like theres a weird dynamic shift now. ######

Response:
 NTA I’d be mortified if I left an alarm going that long and I wasn’t there to stop it.

That said, if it happens again, a good way to turn it off would be to turn your main breaker on and off. Then it would kill power to the alarm and you wouldn’t have to go in there! ######