Prompt:
I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house "what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.

 I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend  to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she  feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice  (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying "the experiment was over" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated "I'm 18" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######

Response: NTA. Your mom was a volunteer firefighter but cant come up with a solution to get through a locked door in the event of a fire? ######


Prompt:
Gday all

I’m 21, just turned 21 a week ago or something. I’m also Australian where being 21 means sweet fuck all, whereas I know in the US it’s a big deal. Over here when we turn 18 that’s like your 21. Anyway.

Despite being 21, my mother still likes to tell me when I get home from work (full time, 8-14 hour days, tradesman so manual labour) to go have a shower, she’ll still tell me to brush my hair, brush my teeth all that very basic stuff.

I’ve often said rather nicely she doesn’t need to tell me these things. I’m 21, I can manage my own life quite easily, and I will do these things at my own discretion at the times I please.

Last night she said it again, I had got out of the shower, got changed and was walking to my room, where my hairbrush lives. On the way there she said “go brush your hair”. Which was exactly what I was going to do anyway.

I considered this the last straw, I had a proper word with her about the fact that I’m 21 now, she NEEDS to stop this, and it’s no longer a joke. I NEED to be able to grow up myself, and she doesn’t need to continuously say for me to do very basic things like I’m 10 years old.

This resulted in a massive argument. I ended up walking away, I’m not one to argue if it’s going nowhere, and then I drove to a mates place.

Was I the asshole for finally putting my foot down and sternly saying what I thought needed to happen?

Cheers! ######

Response: NTA. Your mom sounds very very annoying. She can't accept that you aren't a child anymore. ######


Prompt:
This happened about 5 years ago, but my mom has brought it up recently and renewed the debate.

A bit of background: my parents got divorced when I was 4 (17 now) and they VERY strongly dislike each other. The only reason they act somewhat civil is because of me. They have shared custody, so I live with each for half the week. My mom never remarried, so I remain her only child. My dad remarried to my step mom when I was 6 and she already had 2 daughters, one who is only a few months older than me.

Anyways, I started asking to get my ears pierced the summer before 7th grade. My parents said I was too young to take care of them myself, but they were starting to consider it. Since I am my mom's only child (and therefore only daughter), she strongly believes she should be the one to experience all the girl things with me for the first time. She was very upset she didn't get to help me with my first period, as I was on vacation with my dad's family. She was almost resentful towards my step mom for helping me. She insisted on being the one to teach me how to shave, even though she refused to teach me, even when I started to look like Cousin It.

Getting my ears pierced was also a "rite of passage" she wanted to go through with me. I kept asking, but she would always put it off. One day, my dad went to take my sister out to get her ears pierced, and asked if I wanted to go, too. I said yes, and we went to the typical place where little girls get their ears pierced.

I sent my mom a picture and she was ENRAGED. She was very upset with me for "going behind her back" to do a "feminine rite of passage" with my dad and not with her. She told me she was going to take me and she was... she just never made time for it. She was also mad at my dad for not telling her beforehand.

Maybe I should have at least told her in advance that I was going to get my ears pierced, but I was 11 and wanted them pierced lol. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your mom sounds like she needs to find other ways to fulfill her life. ######


Prompt:
I got an IUD in August and told my mom I was getting it, she paid because i’m her daughter and she wanted to.
Fast forward to October and my mom calls me at college and says she has a funny story. Mind you, we both tend to joke about my dad because he’s a character and they’re divorced. She says that my dad found out about the IUD because he saw paperwork that i had in my car that he was cleaning out while i was away. HE WAS FURIOUS. He called me mom and yelled at her over the phone about how i have an IUD and my mom was like “oh yeah i knew about that” and then my dad proceeded to yell at her for not telling him and she was like “she’s 18 and it’s not my place to tell you about her reproductive choices.” My dad is acting as if I needed his permission for this. I didn’t even need to tell my mom in the first place, but i chose to because we’re close like that. Anyways, this was a while ago but it still sits weird with me. He has no say in the matter. I don’t like that my dad felt obligated to know about this personal aspect of my life especially because he’s otherwise a very progressive, liberal man so it doesn’t really make sense as to why he’s trying to police my goddamn uterus. Idk thoughts? ######

Response: NTA. Your mom is right, you’re 18 and it’s your body, so it’s your choice. You didn’t have to ask permission from anybody, including your dad, or even talk about it if you didn’t feel comfortable with it. Besides, he’s a guy. What reason could he reasonably give for preventing you from getting an IUD if you’ve already talked it through with your mother and decided that’s what you wished? ######


Prompt:
Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc.

Now here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine.

Today, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes.

So, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######

Response: NTA. Your mom is insulting you and your siblings and doing a disservice to your sister by equating "failure to immediately text" with "does  not care about medical issues." Start a private text message chain with your ill sister to let her know how much you care.  Next time your mom criticizes you, you can say "she and I have spoken privately about it" and your mom won't be able to weigh in or complain because she'll have no knowledge of the timing and content of your messages. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as I don't want to use my main.

When lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad.

I thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long.

I'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######

Response: NTA. Your mom is insecure. If you guys say you love each other all the time, that means you have a strong relationship. Don’t stop saying it. ######


Prompt:
Was I in the wrong doing this?

I(M18) was taking my brother (M16) to Target to get some things he needed/wanted, we get into the parking lot and as we are getting in, this car comes in next to us, and by the time I finish parking, a group of 5-6 girls our age comes out.

As I was getting ready to get out of the car, I look at my brother next to me to tell him to put his mask on, and I see he’s looking at the girls wide eyed and mouth open.

I’m tell him “dude, what are you doing? stop that, it’s disrespectful”.

He says “disrespectful to who?”.

I tell him “to your girlfriend and to those girls”

He says “no it’s not” and he continues doing the same thing

At this point I turn the car back on and pull back out of the parking spot, to go park on the other side of the parking lot.

 As I am on the way to the other side he says “what are you doing?”

I didn’t reply and when I parked again he says “what did you do that for?”

I just tell him “I told you what you were doing is disrespectful”

He said “it’s none of your business and now we have to walk way more”

We went into the store and everyone was normal until we get back home

He told my mom for some reason and she took his side she said a bunch of stuff but in summary it was “what your brother is doing is normal, if he wants to look at a lot of girls to figure out what he likes, then he can. If you’re gay, stop trying to make him gay too, and if you’re hurt you’ve never had a girlfriend then get one”

She then took my phone for 3 days, she just now gave it back to me. She took it for so long because I wouldn’t admit what I did was wrong, I finally did admit it just to get it back but I’m still not so sure

I am starting to be convinced what I did was wrong but I need more opinions lmaoo ######

Response: NTA. Your mom is enabling his behaviour that honestly would make me super uncomfortable as a woman. If I’m going to Target with my friends, we’re going shopping not to get creeped on. Honestly, I think it was a very kind and considerate thing of you to do. I hate when I pull up somewhere and have some creep staring at me. ######


Prompt: I'm 20 years old and am looking to move out of my parents house. While looking for a house/apartment, my mother has made it clear that she wants me to put the tracking app Life360 on my phone and join the circle with her, my dad, and my younger brother. I used to have this app, but deleted it once I graduated high school, much to her dismay. She is an obsessive worrier, which she is keen to remind everyone of whenever situations like these come up. I am of the opinion that, as a adult, I don't want to have a tracking app on my phone so my mother can watch over me. Not that I sneak around, or that she would really stop me from going anywhere, I just don't like the idea. Everytime I say that she goes on a tangent about how she raised me, put a roof over my head for two decades, etc etc. The usual parent guilt trip, which makes me even more resistant to the idea. Is this a hill I should be willing to die on? Or am I just overreacting to a reasonable request in this new age of technology? ######

Response: NTA. Your mom has to learn to let you grow up and leave the nest. Giving her the access that a tracker has on your life will mean she will forever hover and give unsolicited opinions about how you live your life. You’re an adult and when you move out it really isn’t her business where you are and what you’re doing day to day. Stand up for yourself this is definitely a hill to die on. It’s about privacy and basic boundaries and if you don’t enforce them now you’ll have much more trouble doing it later. ######


Prompt:
Hey Reddit, I want to know if AITA for telling my mom off bcoz of her ignorance about mental issues faced by teenagers?

So this started off when I started talking about how Anorexia disorder has the highest mortality rate among all the eating disorders which affect teens and she laughed and told me that no such thing as anorexia exists and that teenagers do such things for attention seeking.

I, a generally calm person was appalled at the ignorance of my own mother.

I explained that just bcoz she did not suffer from this disorder or had a smooth sailing as a teen did not mean that everyone did. I even told her that when she was free she could check out about such things.

Then she began to say that how in this generation only such things came up because they were so disrespectful and hanging out with wrong crowd and coupled with social media they were bound to have such problems.

I then told her that Anorexia Nervosa was an old problem and that teens during her time also suffered from it.

Long story short she did believe me and we got into an argument.

So Reddit, AITA for pointing out my mom's ignorance during the argument?
Should I have kept my cool and explained her calmly about the issue and why it is important?

P. S. I am sorry for any grammatical mistakes which I may have made. ######

Response: NTA. Your mom has to be blind. Anorexia has been around for a very long time. ######


Prompt:
So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far...

So the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me.

Fast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room?

AITA?

TLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######

Response: NTA. Your mom has some serious issues. ######


Prompt: So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ######

Response: NTA. Your mom has some pretty outdated views. Ignore her and just enjoy being with your GF. ######


Prompt: I'm (17M) required to eat breakfast at 10:30am sharp and to finish by 11:00am (Lunch and Dinner also have their respective eating times but it was specifically a "violation" of the breakfast time schedule that caused me to write this). It's not the amount of time that's absurd, but rather the fact that I can't eat whenever the hell I want to eat in my home. Usually when it comes to food I just eat whenever I want to because I'm personally someone who doesn't mind being hungry for awhile and only eat when I REALLY need to. Additionally I hate eating breakfast, I've just always hated eating in the morning cause I never really have an appetite so early in the morning. I understand the old "My house, My rules" bullshit argument, but I'm 17 years old and I think its stupid that my parents have authority over my eating habits. I understand that my parents would be worried if I didn't eat at all since I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I always eat the food she "gives" (more like forces) me to eat, just at a much later time. Anyways the situation where the "AITA" question can apply to is today when I woke up pretty late \~10:40 and just decided not to eat the yogurt my mom told me to eat, and when she called at around 11:40 she yelled at me for like an hour for not eating some fucking yogurt. I understand that I didn't keep our "promise", but in my opinion I think its stupid to get that angry over some fucking yogurt. ######

Response: NTA. Your mom has an eating disorder and is instilling it in her family. This is some weird shit. Move out when you can. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

My mom cheated on my dad and went and married  her friend who is single.  I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job.

I live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless from his job I  have allowed my dad to live with me until he can find a new job which he currently is  doing.

I  also started a retirement account for him as my dad always supported me through my life and  helped me financially out whenever I need the help. He always supported my decisions unlike my mom.

Anyway today my mom found out after I told my younger sister who is  25 years old about what I did with my dad. My younger sister told my mom and my mom found out. My mom's tone in the email was very bad as it sounded like she was yelling at me for favoring my dad and not her by giving my dad a place to say and set up a retirement account.

I told my mom she has her girlfriend who could do those things for her in a response and my mom told me what about the house she let me live in when I was a child and what about the food she bought for me when I was a child.

She emailed me through my work account as I have her on all my social media accounts blocked. I told her that she she never supported me like my dad and refused to help me out financially plus she cheated on him which I hate . I told her no I won't be supporting her financially   and blocked her on ,y work  email.

I saw my mom on  face book and she was ranting about how her child never does anything for her and  how her male child is sexist and homophobic. So I was wondering if I am the asshole as  I feel a little bit bad  she is calling me a sexist and homophobic person and maybe my mom is right. So aita for blocking my mom and not giving her the same benefits as I gave my dad. ######

Response: NTA. Your mom cheated, the gender of the person she cheated with is irrelevant. Furthermore, holding her duty as a parent (to feed  you and put a rood over your head) is a toxic thing to do. It honestly sounds like your mother wrecked her relationship with you a long time ago and that's on her as the parent. ######


Prompt:
When I was 6, my mom hand picked out a dresser and bed frame and says that she “won’t let me” sell it. I am 26 (F) and have been living with my parents for the last few years to pay off my student debt- I am now mostly paid off and want to get back to having my own place, as at my age, that is of course what I prefer.
I keep telling her that it is large and impractical (the apartments I’m looking at have even smaller bedrooms than our current one, in which the furniture is already too large- I’ve been getting bruises from running into the bed frame in the middle of the night for years). Plus, i need any extra space to set up a desk, as another reason for my needing to move is due to my job offering me the option to work from home.
I feel like I definitely owe my parents for letting me stay- it’s something they really did not have to do. However my dad pays all the bills and my parents aren’t even actually together anymore. If anything I feel I should let my dad decide what he wants to do with the furniture- or rather what he wants me to do wit it. I feel like this is the silliest situation ever.
AITA for refusing to take it or refusing to pay for a storage unit for the furniture? ######

Response: NTA. Your mom bought furniture. Not you. Don't take it. She can store it or sell it or use it herself. The emotional attachment here is hers, not yours. Let her care for it. ######


Prompt:
I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.

As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.

I write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement.

WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######

Response: NTA. Your mental health status is not something they are entitled to be notified of - especially when they've made it clear that honest discussions about the same are not going to be entertained in good faith. ######


Prompt:
Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.

Pre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental & developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.

———

Due to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.

Her mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay.

Yesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.

When I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.

I ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired.

I left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. Your mental health is just as valid, you should be able to get support from them as well. I have a chat with 3 friends, and the other night all of us had had pretty bad days, but we all talked it through with each other rather than focusing one just one person all night, and it’s easily doable. NTA ######


Prompt:
I (16f) have to take meds twice a day. I have “trained” my cat to remind me to take them by giving her a treat at the time I take my meds, and now she’ll start begging me for a treat at the time I take my meds, and it reminds me. My cat is not quiet when she reminds me. She’s rather loud, but not as loud as my sister’s dog, who barks into all hours of the night.

My sister (18f) keeps complaining that my cat keeps waking her up in the mornings with how loud she is. She keeps telling me to “shut the dumb cat up” and tells me that she’ll lock the cat outside next time she wakes her up. I told her she wasn’t going to do that, because the cat’s mine, first off, and second off, nobody complained about her dog. She got offended and tried starting a fight, while I just went straight to my parents.

I told them that my sister was trying to put the cat out, and complaining about the noise of my cat while her dog is loud as hell and nobody says anything. My parents (dad specifically) got mad and had a talk with my sister, which was more of an argument. They told her that no, she would not be putting my cat out, and that if she did, she could go ahead and find another place to live.

My sister came to me and got mad at me for going to our parents, and called me a snitch. She also told me that I should just take my meds at a different time so the cat will shut up, and I told her that I couldn’t.I told her I wasn’t going to shut my cat up for her convenience. She called me an inconsiderate brat and stopped talking to me. She keeps trying to lock my cat in a closet, though.

AITA for telling my sister I won’t shut up my cat? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your meds are important for you to take and the system with the cat is great as the cat certainly won't forget treat time.

Your sister is a hypocrite for complaining about your cat if her dog is really as loud as you say (and also barks at these times), and she'd suck big time too if she actually put your cat outside.

No worries, you were in the right. ######


Prompt:
I moved to this flat a year ago, like most of the Londoners I rented a room in a house share. We don't have any living room which restricts me socialising as much as I desire. That is the main reason I wanted to move out initially.

Since I moved here, I requested from landlord to change just the bath as it was rusty and you can't clean it as more you try to clean more rusty it gets. Couple of months ago he called me on a Sunday saying, he is refurbishing the toilet and the bathroom whole together. It was nice of him to do some investment in the flat which  let's his tenants to have humane environment.

When the work done he decided to extend the job get the kitchen refurbished too and fit another room in the kitchen so that he can rent more rooms.

It was the last drop. I had been looking for flats for couple of months and just before the lock down I found a decent room which is smaller but have a living room and a small garden just 20 pounds more than I am paying now and since I got an increase on my wages I can afford it. And the house hold seems so friendly and nice people. I will be sharing with 2 more people whereas I would share with 4 more people if I stay.

When I agreed with my new landlord, I gave a month notice to my landlord and he flipped out. He said he paid 10k for his house just because I have asked. He said it's not fair of me letting him down. He offered 50 pounds discount as well. He wanted me to extend my notice for 2 more weeks, luckily my new landlord was fine with it so I accepted to extend. I told him that I asked him to change the bath a year ago not to put another room in the kitchen.

I understand him that he did all this investments and there is already an empty room in the house but I think I deserve to live where the heaven I want to live.

AITA for letting down my landlord? ######

Response: NTA. Your landlord did not do any of those things for you, he did them to increase the value of his home and enable it to give him a better profit. You two are in a business relationship, you have no obligation to his feelings. Do not stay somewhere you don't like because the landlord guilt trips you, always have your own interests first. ######


Prompt:
So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays.

Sometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights "fend for yourself night". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.

 I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######

Response: NTA. Your kids will be better prepared in the future by having this system. ######


Prompt: AITA if I ask my neighbors to keep their kids from bouncing the basketball so early in the morning. They start about 6:30-7 am. I work nights as a nurse so this is the time I’m getting in bed. I’ve tried everything even earplugs,not the harming 3m ones lol, but I swear I can still hear it. Idk. Their screaming at top of lungs is another post. 😂. ######

Response: NTA. Your job is stressful enough by itself. You need sleep to function. Ask them and their parents if they could do it later as you need sleep more than anyone at the moment. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant.

I sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why.

I could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Your insensitive friends is TA, and if it were me I'd cut ties with her if she didn't apologize. I'd also alert the management, because they obviously weren't paying attention when you ordered and could make someone else very sick too. ######


Prompt:
Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone.

Fast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL/SIL are not available/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months.

Because of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable.

AITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######

Response: NTA. Your in-laws are TA’s for saying you’re being difficult and unreasonable for wanting to celebrate your sons birthday. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig.

We live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential.

When my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now.

Last week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October.

I mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse.

We let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######

Response: NTA. Your in-laws are being overbearing. You and your husband are old enough to live wherever you choose. ######


Prompt:
Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered.

So AITA for not being more hospitable? ######

Response: NTA. Your husband sucks for even letting him stay since he’s a wife beater, and apparently admittedly so... but I understand his want to help out family. ######


Prompt:
My husband (47m) and I (35f) want a public opinion on my actions today. Obligatory, sorry I'm on mobile disclaimer.

This morning I left to get groceries. I packed my car with insulated bags and a cooler with ice. This is my method when I know I'm going to several stores and want to keep cold items as cold as possible.

Yesterday a friend told me she was having a bad week so we decided to meet for coffee sometime today. After I left she messaged me and we met for coffee after I left grocery store #1.

The coffee shop is in the same town and we sat and talked for 45 minutes before going our separate ways.

I went to grocery store #2, grabbed some items and my phone dings asking what I am doing. When I tell my husband I met with my friend for 45 minutes of coffee he  starts yelling at me that I am a liar. That I am sneaking around. That I should have known that he and our son were waiting for me to return.

I apologized for not telling him about the time the coffee meetup was happening. But, I did tell him yesterday that it was going to happen today. AITA for not telling him about it when it was happening and meeting her during my grocery run? ######

Response: NTA. Your husband sounds paranoid and controlling ######


Prompt: I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######

Response: NTA. Your husband sounds like a bit of a prick to be honest. ######


Prompt:
On mobile.

I'm currently breastfeeding my month old daughter. I do it wherever I happen to be in the house but mainly in my chair in the living room. Before my daughter was even born, I had chats with my 6 year old son and almost 4 year old step daughter. I explained what breasts were, what they're for, why daughter would be sucking and eating from them, how it's natural and not shameful, and it isn't something for them to stare at and make a huge deal out of. I had to have several repeat conversations with step daughter because she would stare and seemed to make a big deal of it. I answered all questions she had and I thought all was well.

Today my fiance came to me and told me I need to breastfeed in our bedroom only. I told him it wasn't happening. He then told me his daughter tried breastfeeding on her mother and her mom is now throwing a fit because I do it in front of her daughter. AITA if I refuse to breastfeed in the bedroom? It leaves the kids mostly to their own devices. They wouldn't have someone to talk to, feed them, play with them, supervise them, etc. ######

Response: NTA. Your husband sounds immature, so does your step daughters mom, the girl is only 4 and all 4 year olds have a wild imagination or copy things they see, it’s normal and you breastfeeding is COMPLETELY natural, anyone who disagrees is ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it.

I am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left.

Husband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total.

I felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her,  especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective.

So, AITA?

Edit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed.

Also I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ######

Response:
 NTA. Your husband needs to step it up. He’s a father. He should know how to care for his kid. It’s not like it’s his first, either.

Women are expected to just know all this shit, and it’s never questioned that dad goes out and leaves the kids with mom. But reverse it? Suddenly it’s babysitting and mom needs to leave detailed instructions for dad. Nah. He had a part in making the kid, he needs to take his part in raising it. ######


Prompt: We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######

Response: NTA. Your husband is very inappropriate and if his behavior doesnt change drastically it may be time to think about changing his title to (ex) husband. ######


Prompt:
[Slyvy Bear](https://www.flickr.com/photos/69228620@N03/49777975553/in/dateposted-public/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life.

She's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone.

My husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me.

Hubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your husband is though. ######


Prompt: My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######

Response: NTA. Your husband is honestly coming across really passive aggressive. He knows you don't like chickpeas, and has gone out of his way to have a one sided fight with you about it. This also doesn't sound like the first time he's done something like this. Is there something bothering him where he feels the need to behave like a butt? ######


Prompt:
Yesterday my husband told me that he wasn’t feeling that great, his head hurt and his stomach was bothering him. I told him that’s fine, I’d handle the kids, he could rest. But the issue became that he chose to rest on the couch, in the living room. We don’t have a huge house. Our living room is where most of our kids’ toys are, their books, activities, etc. Our kitchen and living room are also open concept so you can see into one another. Keeping the kids cooped up in their rooms all day wasn’t easy so my husband could rest without being disturbed (and he did ask me to make sure they didn’t). But I did it, because it’s one day.

Then this morning, I got up and went into the living room. He was already on the couch and watching TV. I asked how he was feeling and he said not much better, he was debating a doctor’s appointment for Monday. I said that’s fine but if he was going to spend another day laying down, it had to be in our room. We have a TV in there (albeit smaller), and it’s just easier for me to have more room for the kids to run around. He said that he was the sick one, why should he have to be in his room? I said for just that reason, if you’re sick, you should be in bed. I told him I’d still care for him in our room, but for our kids’ sakes, this was easier. He got mad at me, but went back to bed.

All throughout the day I got comments about how loud the kids were being and that he was trying to rest, and this is why he wanted them in their rooms. I tried to keep them as quiet as possible but they’re between the ages of 2-5. It’s not easy on top of everything else I had to do today (like clean the house, cook,etc.) When I dropped off his dinner, he told me I made him feel worse.

Am I an asshole for what I did today? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your husband is being unreasonable and acting like an entitled child. Why should he get to commandeer the social areas of your home because he’s sick?

You’re right, he should sequester himself to the bedroom and stop acting like a child. ######


Prompt:
I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. "Damn, I don't want to get up." So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and "isn't a mind reader" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked.

Am I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ######

Response: NTA. Your husband is an adult parent. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that when your partner is sick, you pick up some of the slack to let them rest and recover. That includes parenting your own dang child. You shouldn’t have to ask, he should know. I’m betting he DOES know, and he’s just using this awful excuse now that you’ve called him on it. ######


Prompt:
So 10 months ago my fiancé and I bought a home which was in good repair but for a few renovations and personal touches. I had a townhouse that needed to be sold in order for us to make up the asking price along with a partial home loan but we were going to lose out on the house as the townhouse hadn't sold. My parents stepped in and helped us with the short fall with the understanding they would be reimbursed when the other property sold. The new place is large with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and diner. My fiancé and I both work full time but have repainted the whole inside of the house, refloored the last bedroom(the other two were done by a contractor to expedite the process, we moved in two weeks after the sale was finalized) started renovating the kitchen, added a vegetable garden and some flower beds, overhauled the security system installing cameras , exterior beams and lighting and recently put up a small greenhouse.

My parents feel that we are not doing the renovations fast enough and that they are entitled to criticize what we have done because they helped us out. They've been reimbursed for the money they helped us out with but will have a problem with the curtain rails we put up or the placement of items. We are concentrating on the inside of the house they want the window frames and gutters outside to be done. I like having my crafting projects around me, they want them packed away and they feel my fiancé games too much.

With the advent of the pandemic we are now both working from home and my parents seem to think that means we should be getting more done with the yard work and renovations because we are at home.

Am I the asshole for wanting to do things my way in my home? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your House, Your Rules.

Ask them to respect your boundaries. ######


Prompt: So I'm 20 and recently bought a house last July. I spent the next couple months renovating and moved in last December, into what was basically a brand new house. I had redone absolutely everything, most of it myself. Anyways, a couple months later in February my uncle came over, and I have no problem with him but I told him not to bring his child over, shes 6 and has a tendency to be way overactive and hyper and break things. I told him not to bring her over, yet he did anyways. Well she ended up ramming her dumbass little head straight through some drywall. She was okay because shes a child, but they left pretty soon after that. After I patched the drywall and painted the wall again I sent my uncle an invoice for the damage his child cost me, and he said it should be forgiven since it was a child who did it, not him. I told him his child is his responsibility until shes 18 and that means covering damages she causes, and that I dont want her over anymore until shes in her teens or at least much better behaved. He told me I was petty, but I dont think so. AITA? ######

Response: Nta. Your house your rules. I would expect money for the repairs too. Even though it was something small like a hole in the wall. What if she cloghed your toilet with something causing damage and burst pipes I would expect them to pay.. he should have been watching her and stopped it before it happened. ######


Prompt:
This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure!

I (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure.

Unbeknownst to me, my friend said "yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can "trust" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place.

So they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your house so it’s your space. Don’t have to have people over who you don’t want to have in your space. Simple as that. ######


Prompt:
for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable.

i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job.

with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your home your rules.

He can look the other way, buy you an extremely comfortable shirt or move out. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.

This led to a lot of "jokes" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.

At one point, my husband's great uncle made a "joke" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.

My husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many "jokes" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your great-aunt-in-law clearly had a sense of humor and understood how it felt to look so different in a light-skinned family. She had a witty comeback that simultaneously helped her great-nephew feel included and also the comment-maker feel like an ass. Good on her and on your for keeping her sharp wit alive.

However, if your husband is uncomfortable with the joke, maybe just keep it between you and your son. ######


Prompt:
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.

I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your grandparents have to understand that if she comes to live with you guys then *they're* responsible for her care, *not* you. ######


Prompt:
Me (16f) and my girlfriend (17) have been dating for about two years. When I first came out to my family they were a little skeptical at first but have ultimately been pretty supportive of me and accepting. My gf met them about a year ago and her and my family hit it off immediately. Since then she’s been invited to many of our family functions
My grandma (79) has short term memory loss so it’s obviously not very easy for her to remember certain details. She’s met my girlfriend like 8 times at different functions and everytime she says “oh who’s this honey? You’re friend?” And I always say, no grandma she’s my girlfriend. To which her response is “oh..” it’s not always said in the most happy tone but she always kisses us both on the cheek and wishes us well.
Recently at school my friend was asking us how our relationships was going and my gf responded “good except for that homophobic grandma” and I was so confused bc like, What?She said that my grandma always ‘deliberately’ referred to her as my friend and clearly did not support us. I told her that was ridiculous because she’s never said an ill word towards the two of us and she literally c a n t remember who she is. My gf said that I could pick my grandma over her if I really wanted but, “I was being ridiculous”.
I thought there was no possible way people could think I was an asshole but all my friends took her side and said that I should’ve informed my grandma before brining my gf up or kept her away from the party.
I’m honestly shocked by this so reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your grandma cannot control her memory loss.

I also think your friends and gf are insensitive. They may not have ever had to deal with an aging grandparent, so they may have no idea. But it’s really not an excuse. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering.

What she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of "mini gang" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just "get over it". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support.

I was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day.

I had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend isn't a teenager anymore. She's well past the age where she should realize that shit isn't okay. I would have said everyone sucks here if she felt bad about who she used to be, and you didn't give her a chance. But it sounds like she has no remorse. In which case, yeah. She's the asshole. ######


Prompt:
FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!

About two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.

Relationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious.  I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.

I decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.

I am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.

Have a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend is a racist. Break up with her. ######


Prompt:
So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time.

We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly.

However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.

My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.

So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).

So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.

So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate.

She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend changed her mind when her own rule came back on her slightly. ######


Prompt:
 My girlfriend was hanging out with a friend and was drunk by the time her friend left. She came upstairs and hung out on the couch with me. I was looking for food on Uber eats. I asked if she wanted anything. Her response was, "I can't imagine eating anything right now. Just get food for yourself." I took her statement at face value. She was drunk but she was also high on coke which definitely will curb your appetite. When my food came she was hungry. I offered her my dumplings, she declined. I offered to order her food, she declined. I offered to cook her food, she declined. She was so upset I didn't get her food when I ordered my food. On top of everything my food sucked, it was Chinese food that was overly salty. From her perspective she "needed me in that moment and I just wasn't there for her."

 The following day she wouldn't talk to me at all. I think she's being unreasonable but I want a non-biased perspective. If you think I'm the asshole please tell me.

Apologies for the dirty laundry of a story. Thanks! ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend acts like an AH when she’s drunk/high. That’s not unusual, but it’s also not an excuse. ######


Prompt:
This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.
I was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.
For my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.
For my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.
It ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded.
Discussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your gift was wrapped in shame and punishment. Sad. ######


Prompt:
I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag.

I refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again.

I thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much "you have your beliefs and I have mine" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life.

I don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your gf is being really overbearing and controlling.

Even if you *did* support drag, it puts you under NO obligation to dress in drag. ######


Prompt:
I've already posted here before but I'm going to post again because I had something else happen to me recently.

Background: I have a slight lisp that's easy to hear whenever I speak. Friends have pointed it out and joked about it but they know when to stop since I'm insecure about it. Often times, they'll repeat how I pronounced a certain phrase and say how it's unique and what not and that they enjoy picking out stuff I've said differently than them. I don't mind it.

Though, recently I was at a family member's house and they know how I can easily get upset whenever my lisp is pointed out. As I was talking to them, pronouncing words as best as I can, they kept on saying completely different words as if to point out that they couldn't understand me. I kept trying to say the same word over and over again (even though I knew I was saying it correctly) and yet, they still acted like I wasn't pronouncing it right.

Fed up, I had went back to room and heard them call after me, saying it was a joke.

To cut it short, the next morning they tried explaining to be that it wasn't nothing to get upset about and that they weren't doing anything wrong towards me. They explained that they were only joking and that I needed to suck it up and get a sense of humor. However, I tried to explain to them that it was something I was sensitive about and could only deal with so much before I become humiliated by my voice and that it was one of the things I had a problem with the most.

Am I the asshole for getting pissed off at a joke? Should I get a better sense of humor? They told me that I needed to act more mature about it and get over how I sounded but everytime I try, something like this happens and I don't have the confidence to do better.  ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friends seem to know what your boundaries are. Your family members not.
This post reminds me a lot about the guy messing with the deaf girl and making her bad about her deafness.
In example when someone is small, friends can maybe make joke if everything is well received. But to overlook someone consistently to mock him would be maybe similar hurtful. So your Family members are definitely TA. ######


Prompt:
OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.

So I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.

I never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.)

My friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.

Red’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.

So, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friends in the other hand...

They're "demanding" entry? That's just plain rude.

They think you're "allowing" Red to distance himself? I disagree, you are just being a good roommate who has come up with a creative solution to your roommate's needs. Sharing the room would defeat it's purpose so good for you for sticking to your guns. As someone who is not autistic but is extremely introverted with social anxiety to boot, I might borrow this forbidden room idea for when my extroverted partner wants to have people over.

It's clear from your description that your friends don't understand Red or his needs, and you do. Good for you.

Best of luck! ######


Prompt: Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######

Response: NTA. Your friends girlfriend doesn’t get to dictate who can attend his funeral. ######


Prompt: Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######

Response: NTA. Your friends family wants you there. You should go. ######


Prompt:
So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy

They then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.

So please tell me Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTa. Your friends are opportunistic, selfish assholes. Get new ones. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant.

I sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why.

I could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Your friend sucks. Call into the store and explain the problem and be very kind about it. 9/10 times they'll be super horrified and train their staff to be more careful. Sorry that happened! ######


Prompt:
My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends.

When it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day.

Of course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her.

Basically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.

I felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next  6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######

Response: NTA. Your friend is an abuser who was abusing his GF, you are never TA for encouraging an abuse victim to safely leave their abuser. Honestly your friend shouldn’t be in *any* relationship until he’s gotten some serious individual therapy to change his abusive ways. ######


Prompt:
I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17.

For the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens.

A bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said "Ok but why not? She'll be legal." I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship.

See the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend.

Ted got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways.

AITA??? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friend dropped something: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Warn your sister. She should be prepared for when he comes onto her. I say “when” and not “if”, because no matter what you say he’s going to go after her. ######


Prompt: So back story first. I rewatched both “Narcos” series on netflix, and I ended up downloading several songs from the soundtrack. I love all kinds of music, and I got really into the dramatic songs, like the intro “Tuyo”, or “No me hables de ese amor”. I sing along to my music when I’m working or alone, and one day recently a friend overheard me singing one of the spanish songs. Her mother is from Mexico, and she speaks spanish herself, and she got offended and said I was being racist by singing a language I don’t know. I had looked up the lyrics to the song, and had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly, and what they meant. I certainly didn’t mean to come across as racist, I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals. I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious to a native speaker, but I wasn’t trying to mock and accent or anything like that. I explained myself to my friend, and she understood, but she still maintains that what I’m doing is racist and I should stop. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friend calling singing a foreign song racist is ridiculous. Is singing a Latin song racist? Are non-English pop songs with English words mixed in also racist?

Is singing *Feliz Navidad* during the winter holidays racist? Does she also get offended when *Gangnam Style* gets played on non-Korean radio? Or is it a testament that good catchy music is great to listen to even if the lyrics aren't completely intelligible, and it's human nature to sing/hum/dance/nod to such music (I personally only sing to music when I'm alone because I **suck** at singing on key). ######


Prompt:
 Please excuse grammar and punctuation on PC but not good at writing anything.

My in-laws blatantly ignore my 2 year old daughter but idolize my 5 year old son. it finally came to a head when they just randomly shower him with gifts and, would regularly say "my grandson and the other one". I finally went up to them and told them that until they realize they have 2 grand kids and not just one that they will not be seeing ether anytime soon. Loaded the family back into the car and left that was 2 weeks ago and there has been no contact at all. Am I the A-hole? ######

Response: NTA. Your first responsibility is to protect your kids. Well done! You can't accept this kind of favouritism. ######


Prompt:
I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING.

fast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your fiance is not ready to be a dad if he's offended by burps and farts. He knows babies do much worse right? ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other.

I asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way.

My FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”

My fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your fiancé was okay with it, and so were his mom and dad. Great Aunt Gertrude can go pound sand.

Next time she complains, look her dead in the eye and say: "Well bless your heart". ######


Prompt:
sorry if formatting is weird

So my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant.

At that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth.

How we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy.

I showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well.

We confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did.

A few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail.

As for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your feelings are valid. But one thing to consider is how your half brother will feel. Obviously right now he’s too young to understand it all. But eventually he will know what happened and he won’t deserve to feel guilty for it. He is an innocent person in this. He didn’t ask for his mom to have him the way she did. It was completely wrong but he still deserves love from family. If you can’t give that right now, it’s okay. You need to heal; your mom broke a lot of trust. But, just try not to take out the anger you have toward your mom on Dalton.
I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this though. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway and on mobile

So my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond.

My father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings.  So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish.

I believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them.

Edit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ######

Response: NTA. Your father was clear on what he wanted. You're not an asshole for enforcing that. They clearly only care about the money, as they did when he was alive. ######


Prompt:
This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.

So I’m just wondering, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your father needs to learn how to respect your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for speaking up for yourself and voicing your discomfort. There are millions of ways he can show you affection without forcing you to hug him. ######


Prompt:
My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony.

I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad.

A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.

Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left.

I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family.

TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

Response: NTA. Your father kicked your out or his house and allowed his wife to abuse you and you’re worried about driving a wedge between the two of you? Why? ######


Prompt:
My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony.

I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad.

A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.

Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left.

I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family.

TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

Response: NTA. Your father kicked you out, he should be lucky you invited him at all. ######