Prompt:
I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city.

My father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.

My father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling.

I don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them.

So WIBTA?

TLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######

Response: NTA. And I would see if there is anyway you can get custody of your brother. Is your father abusive? Is your mom willing to leave? Really, until your mom is ready to stand up to him, and leave , your brother is going to be under his control until he dies. And that is a horrible thought, but you didn’t do this and it’s not your fault. ######


Prompt:
My(F25) boyfriend (M33)  and I have been together for about two months. Prior to that though, we had been together for 3 years, broke up, and got back together after a year.

We live across the county from our family. Last year, him and I actually moved here together. After a month of living together we broke up, he went home back across the country... and I stayed here. We were still exes when he decided to move back here after 7ish months, he got a job and moved back. I urged him not to, but he did anyway.

So shortly after he moved back we started hanging out and are back in a relationship. I’m still living in the place that me and him initially moved into... it’s a great house, albeit, further away from work. He lives 20 minutes away and has for the winter. Just like almost everyone in our area, he’s lost his job. I am very grateful to still have one.

His lease is up this coming month, and a couple months ago we talked about him possibly moving back with me. After a couple weeks of thinking about it, I absolutely panicked. I value my alone time in my space and I freaked out at the idea of a SO living with me sooner than later. I let him know with adequate time for him how I felt and my decision. He was very sad. Sad at me, I felt like. Sad at my decision.

He has still not looked for a place to live, and he only has a couple more weeks at the place he lives at now. I guess we have different outlooks on this because I would have probably started looking for housing a month ago.

I don’t know if he’s relying on me to change my mind, or what is going on.

I can’t lie I feel like a total piece of shit, please tell me if I’m an asshole or not. ######

Response: NTA. And I recommend doing some deep thinking about whether or not you want to continue to be in a relationship with this man. You’ve broken up twice and told him not to get a job in your current town. It doesn’t sound like you really want to be with him for the long haul. You both deserve better than this relationship as it stands. ######


Prompt:
It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F  and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could.

My dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her.

I get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######

Response: NTA. And I highly doubt she would find out if it means anything. What does she do, weight the box every night? ######


Prompt:
Me and my brother are wildly different people, I don't like to think I'm an "extrovert" but I do enjoy being out with my friends.  I do ok in school, not the best but not the worst I am pretty average so I won't be getting a scholarship to a good college anytime soon.  My brother on the other hand is VERY gifted academically, I'm a year older but he's in my grade and it has been like that since I was like 6 or 7.  He is very introverted and while he does have a friend group he told me he has never talked to them outside of school, he also looks down on anyone who isn't in the top 10 academically at our school (all his friends are in the top 10).  They constantly talk down to people at the school and I know this may sound mean but no one likes them cause they are just assholes to everyone and they think no one likes them cause they are smart and everyone is jealous.

Yesterday, I wanted to go get lunch with my friends but my dad told me I couldn't cause he didn't want me to waste the gas or something can't really remember.  I gave a kind of joking grunt and said ok and I wasn't gonna go, my brother straight up said "Maybe instead of going out with your friends you can work on your studies and get your grades up to mine (I am a solid B with the occasional C student).  I wasn't having it cause he ALWAYS does this sort of crap and looks down on everyone (especially me), I straight up told him this “dude you and your friends are uptight losers who think your better than everyone cause your smart.  College is gonna be a real ass kicker cause you are not nearly as smart as you think you are.  He said (and I quote) “what did you just fucking say?”  I told him I wasn’t in the mood to fight and went to my room.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. And he is suffering big fish in little pond syndrome. You were absolutely correct that college is gonna be an eye opener. ######


Prompt:
A friend(f) of my girlfriend asked if she could borrow my laptop.

I assumed she was gonna check her email or social media or something.
She installed chinese government owned software that became part of the startup process.
And she installed a (chinese government) chrome extension that gave the extension full access to my browsing history and to modify websites that I visit. She clicked 'yes' to give permission for this.

I only discovered that these 2 apps were running in the background weeks later.

I told her in a pretty condescending way that to me it's common sense that:

\- you ask permission to install software on the device of someone else

\- you wanna uninstall it afterwards

She's 27, but i'm talking to her like she's a child.. AITA for that? ######

Response: NTA. And frankly, don't lend your laptop except with a guest account with no rights. ######


Prompt:
I work from home permanently. Since my 2 year old's daycare is shut down until further notice, she's been at home with me all every day while I've been working full time from home with a full plate. My sister, thankfully, has been able to take her 3 days a week starting last week, but that's still 2 days of work that I'm juggling a very active toddler with a full work load as a single mom with full custody.

I''m an account manager for restaurant audit servicing companies, and my project load has been cut down to almost nothing.  I'm literally pulling projects out of thin air to stay busy. My boss emailed me on Thusday a few weeks ago at midnight, asking what I had gotten done that week. I gave him a list, told him that Wednesday was a tough day for my daughter, and she was home with me, so I didn't get much done. He thanked me for my honesty but docked me half a day of pay. He owns the company so there's not much I can do.

That was enough to motivate me to do the bare minimum and start networking to secure a new job once this is over. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I was incredibly transparent about having my daughter home with me during this time, and they assured me it wouldn't be an issue. I have always put in extra hours, helped on projects that I'm not involved in, helped find solutions to issues that needed to be solved ASAP. Now I'm just not interested in doing anything for them. ######

Response: NTA. And for future reference never actually tell your boss things like that, they are always looking to screw people out of money. ######


Prompt:
I (20f, college sophomore) had 300 dollars in my savings account that I put there after I got paid for my work study job. Last week I went on my account and it’s gone. I went to my dad about it and he said he moved it somewhere else to save. I very politely said that since it’s my money from my work I would appreciate him putting it back and not touching it in the future. Fast forward to tonight, it’s still not back so I go to him again and he starts going on about how he can show me where he put it, that he won’t be moving it back to my account, and that I have no right to be upset. I said, okay, you have until tomorrow or I’m making my own back account for my work checks. (He has access to my current one bc it’s also where my college tuition, which he pays for, is paid from). He told me I was being a brat, that I am not to go off making my own account, and that I should appreciate him saving my money for me since I’m a bad spender. I tried to go to my mom about it and she said the same thing.

I admit I sometimes overspend, but I’m still upset over this because I feel like since I’m an adult, they need to let me learn how to save my money now and if I end up blowing it, I blow it and that’s on me. If I don’t learn that the hard way without mommy and daddy helping me now, when am I supposed to? But all that said, AITA?

EDIT: mentioned this in a reply and was told I should add this to the original post. Since my parents found out I was gay this past October, their financial support has been completely dependent on my not coming out anywhere publicly. If I so much as said “I’m gay” on Facebook all financial support would be cut. ######

Response: NTA. And for all you young folks out there, it's not normal to have a shared bank account with your parents and to put your paychecks in an account they have access to. Get your own bank account. ######


Prompt:
I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months.

A was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.

2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind.

My original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. And as a muslim myself i can assure you it's prohibited for her to act this ungrateful.

I can only dream to have friends and family to do this for me smh . ######


Prompt:
So this one surprisingly will be a short post, because if I go to detail I will need at least 20000+ words because I don’t want to give some details and leave out others and also it hurts as fuck to write such a painful story.

Basically my (24f) girlfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just before quarantine which had spread to almost everywhere and her life expectancy is a year at most, and with her doctors’s help and even after the quarantine we discussed if she would be able to make our travel plan with her condition in around October and the doctor told us there was an 90% chance she could , and we made a perfect plan to make all her checklist and travel dreams come true -which sadly none of which she has yet done-.

But fast forward and I find her phone and find out that she was cheating for about half a year on Mr and the last time she contacted the affair partner was the day of her diagnosis.

When I found out I just confronted her and told her “she deserves this” and left.

She has been calling me daily ever since and begging to make the travel thing -and it makes me really sad to see her like this but still she was cheating for a year and a half on me-

So I dropped all the plans with her and when I told her,  she was absolutely crushed and so was I.

This has been fucking with me ever since.

AITA Reddit?

I’m just so depressed and mentally drained at this point ######

Response: NTA. An unfortunate situation but cheating for me is zero tolerance. ######


Prompt:
Me and my girlfriend tell each other we love the other and have been dating for a year. We got together our senior year of high school.

The first time I told her I love her while she was naked she got upset. We had told each other we love the other many times before but this was the first time I told her I love her while she was naked. She said to not tell her that when she is naked because it isn't genuine love when she is naked, she said the emotion I feel when I see her naked is lust. I tell her I always feel love for her but I am obviously more attracted to her when she is naked. I stopped saying it when she was nude because she would not like it and would repeat those reasons.

I accidentally let an I love her slip when she was naked and she got really upset saying I'm confusing love for lust. Whenver I say it while she is clothed she says it back to me happily. ######

Response: NTA. An anecdote, if you will.  My husband  and I have been together for about thirty years. He still tells my breasts he loves them, and I’m sure it’s true love just as I’m sure that your love for your naked girlfriend is as real as it is when she’s clothed. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS.

My boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.

When he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.

The reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.

He said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush.

Either way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants.

Anyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. Amazing how he thinks that throwing a tantrum over a toothbrush is the manly choice to make. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend of 3 years and I recently just decided to end our relationship, and thus will no longer be attending the wedding of another couple. We both felt it would be nice for another couple to be able to take our place as opposed to either of us finding a +1. We gave the bride and groom over 2 weeks notice; basically the day we broke up so we wouldn’t have foreseen and notify them any earlier. These are the texts we received tonight
-Hey man, so I totally get it that you’re unable to attend and I hope it doesn’t sound like a being a dick or anything but we just got confirmation from the venue that we have to pay for all the guests we already reported... so hopefully you’re all good with still paying for the plates since it was so last minute :)
- Hey, The venue just informed us that we would have to pay for your plate and his plate since it hasn’t been cancel enough in advance
I feel so bad about the situation you are in but unfortunately we can’t afford to pay for the two plate ... if only we knew more than a week in advance or so it would have been different .

Personally, I feel with previous actions too they have shown they’re not so much friends and their priorities are showing. This wedding feels more like a business transaction and less of a day for love. This made both my ex girlfriend and I even question getting a gift for them now. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Am I the only one who thinks it’s tacky anyway to make your guest pay for their own food at your wedding? ######


Prompt:
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My brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Am I reading this right and your brother spent *$40,000* on an engagement ring and it STILL wasn't good enough for her? JFC.

>told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey.

LOL. Even more reason for your bro to break up with her.

I'd also reconsider your friendships with your friends. ######


Prompt:
I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once.

My husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled.

Well the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident/illness at the dinner table? ######

Response: NTA. Although you should have thrown the drink at him and said how dare you speak in English about me and my husband and stormed off. Just so he could be confused as to what the fuck happened. ######


Prompt:
Im in a group chat with a some friends and one of the girls was forced to confess during a game we were playing that she likes men with hairy legs. It was sort of embarrassing but not so much for her I guess. I then sent the group chat a pic of my hairy legs. Bunch of other guys do the same and its hilarious.

Then one girl in the group chat then says Im a horrible person for doing that because i have a gf and its the equivalent of sending a girl nudes. All of us start texting in the chat things like Lol because nobody thought she was serious, well low and behold she tells my gf I'm sending that girl innapropiriate photos and my gf calls me and screams at me saying I'm a horrible person and shit. I told her to chill out and explained it. We then removed that bitch from the group and don't let her play with us.

She says we need to forgive her and she was looking out for other girls. Some of the group want her  back in but the others don't. I told her to fuck off when she tries to apologize and get back in. ######

Response: NTA. Although it's a little concerning that your GF automatically trusted this girl's word before even asking you about it in a mature way. ######


Prompt:
AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?

Last summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding.

I am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######

Response: NTA. Although I suggest letting your cousin know what you are planning to do before actually hiring another photographer. Just be honest, and tell her that you need the pictures now, otherwise you are going somewhere else for them. You also have to think about why she isn’t sending them. Maybe softly ask her if there is a reason. You never know; it’s possible that the files could have gotten deleted/corrupted, or the pictures didn’t turn out how she liked and she doesn’t want to tell you or let you see. ######


Prompt:
 A girl I have never met before added me on FB, we had a few mutuals including one I'm very good friends with, so I accepted it, and then she sent me a message out of the blue telling me she thought I was cute and wanted to date me. I politely said no and made an excuse I was already seeing someone, apparently, our mutuals told her I was very nice.

I saw that she had a few months old baby from a previous relationship, she was also a teen mom. I had never met this girl, had never been in a relationship and didn't want the responsibility of looking after her child as I am not good with children but do not hate them, and I was just plain not interested in general. She asked if we could be friends and in my meekness I said 'sure' but tried my best to keep her at arms length, I saw that she was one of those people who likes to air their drama on FB and honestly it just wasn't something that I wanted to get into. She then started messaging me asking if we could talk but I made the excuse of saying I was busy etc. Eventually, the messages off her became persistent and I blocked her.

Her friends are now telling people a story that I coldly rejected her because she had a kid when this is the farthest thing from and making me out to be some misogynist and jerk. I just wasn't interested in this girl whom I had never met before. Am I the asshole? because I feel like I am. ######

Response: NTA. Also, you should only friend people who actually treat you like friends.  These friends of hers are not your friends, and neither is she.  You handled yourself quite well given the situation. ######


Prompt:
So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there.

Me and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice.

Anyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \[the restaurant\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options.

Am I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######

Response: NTA. Also, why is she picking where you get to eat for your birthday? The rule in my family is that the birthday person always gets to pick where they eat for their birthday meal. Even my kid who has a NYE birthday gets to pick where he goes, we just need to be organised enough to book 4-6 weeks before the day because everyone wants to go out on NYE. ######


Prompt:
AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway.  The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence.

Am I the asshole?

I know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ######

Response:
 NTA. Also, pretty sure Corona precautions mean they can’t re-sell the food anyway.

We’ve had a couple of times over the last few months where we’ve got wrong / additional/ mixed up orders, every single time we’ve been told to keep what we’ve got and had the correct one sent out as well. ######


Prompt:
My (24m) girlfriends (23) mom recently decided to invite herself over to our house once a week because she has virtually nothing better to do but sit around at our house and complain about most things in her life. When she is over she wants to see our three month old baby.

My girlfriends sister is in town right now from Nebraska and she had plans to spend time with her sister alone because her mom favors her sister more than all of her other kids. But instead of doing that, her mom invites her sister, her kids, and herself over to our home tomorrow morning to sit around. In no world is our home big enough for it but my girlfriend said yes, but told her mom I would stay in our room.
I suffer from anxiety around groups of people no matter the size and have been feeling a little down lately. The COVID pandemic has also prevented me from seeing my family at all this year.

Her mom threw a fit and said I’m acting like I don’t like them, when I reminded my girlfriend that not only has her mom never had a conversation with me, she also fails to realize that with myself working forty plus hours a week, I rarely get time to relax with my girlfriend and our son alone. I also pointed out that my family always talks to my girlfriend over the phone quite often, and genuinely likes talking to her.

Her mom said that’s crap, but also ignored the previous statement about my depression and anxiety. So reddit. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be uncomfortable in my own home and letting them have family time without me?

Side note, my girlfriends niece also lives with us, and that would add to the number of people in our already small living room. ######

Response:
 Nta. Also, have why can't these meet ups take place somewhere else? Tell your girlfriend to speak to her mother and explain that you're actually being very generous allowing her round in the first place.

Having said that, I would try to say hi to the family before you excuse yourself (anxiety allowing). ######


Prompt:
My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.

I finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling "Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse." They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.

I thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Also tell your mom you wont be cooking for them anymore if she wants to take your phone away. Yes not feeding kids is considered child abuse, but then its a good thing that they're not your kids. ######


Prompt:
Growing up we were not close with my dad’s family at all. All holidays and special occasions were done with my mom’s family and it was clear as I got older that there was some tension between my mother and my dad’s side of the family. As a teen, I had resentment towards my mom because I felt like she was keeping us from my dad’s family.

Once I became an adult, my mom told me how poorly she was treated by my dad’s family, mainly his sister. It was bad. My dad’s mom passed away a few years ago (she was a single parent) and my dad really does not have much living family left.

I got engaged at the beginning of the year. My dad must have told my aunt because she immediately called me to congratulate us. I had not spoken to her since my grandmother’s funeral years ago. I then received a friend request from her on FB and was very surprised, because that means at one point she had to have unfriended me. (It wasn’t a new account and we definitely were FB friends a few years ago.) Once I accepted her request she took our engagement photos from my FB and posted them on her page for all her friends to ooh and ahh over.  She is one of those people that always has to show off and needs attention and validation from others. She even asked me to send her a close up of my ring, to which I said no.

My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. We are currently working on our guest list and I really don’t want to invite her. I feel like she would be there for all the wrong reasons. I also don’t want my mom to be uncomfortable, even though she would never tell me if she was. My mom is a saint. I do feel bad because that is my dad’s sister and I know it would mean a lot to him if she was there.

AITA for not wanting my aunt at my wedding? ######

Response: NTA. Also NTA if you block her and make FB take down your engagement pics she stole. ######


Prompt:
This happened tonight on reddit lol so it's still fresh and I'm heated and annoyed. I am a high school senior trying to choose between colleges. I made a reddit post tonight on one of the college's subs. A professor commented on my post and that's the part that went downhill...

Prof: What's better - going to a more prestigious school but not graduating in Engineering or going to a good school and graduating in Engineering?

Me: If I'm going to struggle in Engineering, wouldn't it be better to go to the better school? "I know ivy league colleges have higher graduation rates overall so it  seems like that's a safer bet in case I can't make it in Engineering"

Prof: Highights the quoted part above and replies "Not sure where you came up with that. The available stats suggest the opposite"

Then basically it devolves into me asking for that data and the professor either ignoring me or giving me irrelevant data that doesn't back up that claim. I then made a post directly asking if they were just ignoring my request for data when they said "the available stats suggest the opposite". They then replied that they did not say that.

So I looked back and they edited their post to say "Not sure where you came up with that. Is it college specific?". Luckily another user sent me screenshots so I have proof they edited their post.

I just asked for a professor to be professional and address the claim they made, but instead, they edited their post and act like I'm being unreasonable. It's infuriating because I thought I was being somewhat respectful to an extent, asking the professor for the data and giving an opportunity to prove their point. Anyway, I know it's petty but WIBTA if I made a post on that sub (if allowed) to see if they'll hold their professor accountable or if they will just be professional? ######

Response: NTA. Also just read through the thread, jeez that prof sounds like an asshole ######


Prompt:
Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.

My parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.

Husband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.

My husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Also have him start logging every time he gives her or them money and how much. Dates, amounts, what it’s for (if possible). It might make your case easier and it’s sometimes easier to see things when they are in black and white like that. Also I mean this as separate from whatever budgeting and balancing the checkbook you all do. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.

We’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.

She pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.

I didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. All your sister is doing is continuing to foster poor socialization in men. There is NOTHING wrong with having emotions. I wouldn't scream at her or anything, but not wanting to participate in a movie with her one time because you feel an apology is owed is definitely not an AH thing to do. ######


Prompt:
As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).

Last week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.

Today during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said "I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on".

I told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability  to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his "context-appropriate" words.

The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. All words have denotation and connotation. Denotation is the definition you’d find in the dictionary. Connotation is what we associate with a word. Think about the word “bird”. What comes to mind? For most people, it’s going to be a very birdlike bird, a smallish songbird like a robin or a sparrow. For most people, birds like ostriches, penguins or pelicans, while still birds, don’t exemplify the birdy qualities they associate with the word “bird” on its own. So, for example, when you say “she eats like a bird”, you mean “she eats very daintily like a sparrow”, not “she forces large amounts of food down her gullet whole like a pelican”. No one would understand your meaning in the second example because pelicans don’t exemplify “birdieness” despite still technically being birds.

With “incompetent”, the definition “doesn’t know how to do a thing” is the denotation. The connotation is “stupid, SHOULD know how to do a thing but doesn’t”. That is how we actually USE the word. We do not call a brand new employee “incompetent” on their first day because they haven’t learned the job yet. We call the employee whose work is still riddled with mistakes after five years “incompetent” because they should know better, but don’t.

All this to say, your husband is being pedantic about the ~technically correct~ definition of the word. It’s not used that way, and unless he is an ESL speaker who doesn’t understand the connotation, he knows that. He knows well and good he was insulting you and calling you names, he just doesn’t want to apologize. ######


Prompt:
My husband worked a very long shift today. I worked my normal 8 hour shift. When he gets home from work, I start dinner because he insists on showering AND taking an hour long bath. Fine, he wants to unwind. But today. Oh today. He comes in the house and the following conversation ensues:

H: “what’s for dinner?”
Me: “I can make pulled pork sandwiches with Mac and cheese. Grilled chicken and Cesar salad, or that lasagna your mom dropped off.”
H: “you spend $70 on groceries this week and those are our choices?”
Me: “I did the grocery shopping on Saturday. It’s Thursday, that’s what we have left. And meat is expensive.”
H: “Well none of those sound good.”
Me: “Fine. We can get takeout then.”
H: “I don’t want to spend the money.”
Me: “okay, then pick something we have here. We’ve got frozen meals in the freezer I can do.”
H: “Nothing we have sounds good.”
Me: “I’m making the pulled pork. If you don’t like it, you can cook something for yourself.”

I gave up. I walked away, I’m so annoyed. I’m 6 months pregnant and very tired, and I have been craving pulled pork for DAYS. That’s what I made, and he got angry that I didn’t make something he wanted. AITA for cooking what I wanted when he wouldn’t make a decision? ######

Response: NTA. All that sounds delicious, can I have his share? I'll say 'thank you' and everything! ######


Prompt:
Now I know the title seems harsh, but hear me out.

Me and my best friend of about 14 years (let’s call her Amy) are as a close as two peas in a pod. Because of this, we like to think of ways that we could “roast” each other.  Now I want to make a few things clear:

1. There are strict boundaries about what we do and do not joke about (for example it is more than fine to take a piss out of my nose, but the death of my granpa is a no-no zone.)

2. If a joke hurt one of us, we express that, which is usually followed by a apology and a talk about boundaries if the person wishes to do so.

3. All of our mutual friends know it and pay it no mind.

Recently, a new person came into out group (let’s call them Alex). They’ve been introduced to out group dynamics, and they’re been told about Amy’s and mine banter.

It’s all been fun and games, however one day I get an email from my head of my class to come and talk to her. I went, and apparently someone reported me for bullying Amy. This took a good week to solve, and both me and Amy had to have numerous conversations with head of class to prove that it’s all chill.

 I did go to Amy, I asked if I did anything to hurt her. She said no

Next time , we’re sitting in a group, I’m telling the story, and Alex says “yeah it might have been me”
I got very mad , cause their behavior caused both of us a bunch of trouble. Alex said that they do not like our jokes, so they’ve decided to report me just in case I was hurting Amy.

I have decided to cut them out, but some friends think that I’m being to harsh.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. All of you told him it was a joke. He should have asked Amie first if the jokes are hurting her or not. ######


Prompt:
Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before.

So both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time.
I do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######

Response: NTA. All I'm seeing here is a 17-year-old being thrown into an impossible situation, and dealing fairly well with it. Taking toilet paper out of reach is a normal reaction, and having kids go into time-out is also a normal thing. ######


Prompt:
I (16M) don't want kids. Not because I don't want to care them but it's more of something to do with my own mother in particular. In general, she's alright but when she gets angry (which is like most of the time) she can say some things no mother should be saying to her child.

I had it tough since I could remember. Whenever I done something wrong, she'd call me names and sometimes even say right to my face that she wishes I wasn't born or that she "struggles to see how any girl would love me". Maybe she was just stressed out, I don't know.

And then there were those times where she just made marriage (or any relationship) seem like a tough and torturous thing to do. Not directly, but indirectly by arguing a lot with Dad, saying "I wish I could go back", which I remember hurt Dad and myself a lot that day. Stuff like that.

Over time and a lot of thought, I've decided to not have kids. It sure seems stressful, right? I made that known to my mother when she went on another one of her usual bursts of rage at me. She brought up "I don't know how your wife will handle you." to which I said "Fine, I'm not planning to have kids anyway."

She didn't expect that and was taken aback. My parents are traditional so being a grandparent is sort of an expectation to them. A desire. I let her know of all the stuff she's said and that **she's** the reason why I don't want to have any offspring or be involved in any relationship whatsoever. It looks complicated. She's **not** going to be a grandmother. I'm perfectly fine having only myself as my priority.

To my surprise, she nearly cried and didn't say anything after that. My dad didn't do anything about it either. As abusive as my mum can get, it still pains me to see her so down and I'm wondering if what I said was selfish and quite stupid.

Am I the asshole for putting all the blame on her? ######

Response: NTA. all her snide remarks have made their impact on you over time and i think that realization that she is the reason she's not getting the grandkids she may be desiring hit her in the face like a brick. ######


Prompt:
For context. In 2006, when I was 8, my dad begun an affair with the mother of my best friend, who we’ll call Alison. My mum found out because of something I had said about them spending time together and filed for divorce some time after. My dad moved in with this woman, and although I still saw him three times a week, i was absolutely devastated because I felt he had left me. 2 years after he left, my dad died, creating a massive rift in my life.

Despite my dads will declaring he wanted to leave everything to me and my brothers, Alison practically demanded she keep everything and because my mum was so wrapped up in her own grief, and mine and my brothers, she gave up fighting it. She also paid off the life insurance on the house my dad and Alison had bought, because Alison asked her too. Also, despite my mum paying for the entire funeral cost, Alison planned the entire thing alone, and went against his wishes, we now have no headstone or grave as a result and that kills me every day. My entire family despises Alison, she stressed my dad out a lot and the doctors believed stress contributed to the heart attack which killed him.

Yesterday I was in the local supermarket and saw her, with her daughters. I tried avoiding eye contact with her as I do every time I see her, but instead of just leaving like she usually does when we run into eachother, she came over and tried to talk to me. I just said “not a chance this is happening” and turned around and walked away.

I do feel bad about the encounter as I never intend on being rude but she taunted me with my dads death for years, and a lot of the trauma I have experienced is because of her so I struggle allowing myself to feel bad.

AITA for ignoring her? ######

Response: NTA. Alison has disrespected you, your family and your grief. She doesn't deserve your friendship or recognition. ######


Prompt:
Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside.

Last night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort.

When I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid.

I grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read:

“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”.

They ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox.

Am I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash.

For clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######

Response: NTA. Aiming fireworks into someone else's property is SO dangerous. ######


Prompt:
Me and my mom have an okay relationship. My adopted sister 15 is a horrible person and is just terrible to be around. I tried to consider her family at one point tried to involve her in activities with my friends I am a 16 year old boy. I tried to do things that a brother normally would or what I thought would be a brother and sister relationship.

My half sister today took my game console without my permission and snapped it into two. This handheld console is a game console I got from my grandma as a birthday gift. I screamed loudly and yelled at her to go away. She called me a sexist whore for not sharing the console. My mom came in and sided with my sister.

Told me to apologize for being sexist and mean to my adopted sister for not sharing and not taking her places like a brother. I yelled at my mom telling my sister she is not considered part of my family and that she is just a piece of shit lying on the ground.

My mom told me I am grounded for being mean. I then called my dad to pick me up.(They are divorced). I went to dads house. My mom harasser me by calling a lot and I refused to pick her up and blocked her on the phone. I might have been an asshole for saying mean things to my sister and yelling at my mom. ######

Response: NTA. After reading the comments you’re better off at your dad’s. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. She has always told me that she hates her name. I’m going to use a fake name here for obvious reasons, but it’s similar, for example it’s something like her name is Kathryn and she goes by Katie. She chooses to go by “Katie” (or the real shorter version of her name) because to her it is the best version of her name. She detests her full name purely because it sounds “grandmaish” to her and she wishes it was something else.

Katie has always been a dancer and a couple of years ago, she got into burlesque dancing. She started entering amateur competitions and goes to conventions as well. I support her doing so, it’s a fun hobby for her. A part of her being in the burlesque community is having a stage name. She chose to go by “Gypsy” during her shows and yes, that is really what she chose, not making it up. For the first year she just used it for shows but then slowly started using it in her every day life. She changed her Instagram name to reflect that and then changed her name badge at work, followed by her FB profile.

Around NYE’s she asked everyone in her life, me included, to start calling her Gypsy. I said no.  I think it’s a fine nickname but it’s not her name. I further said that expecting everyone to call her something else was ridiculous when we all knew her as “Katie” and she needed to leave her Burlesque persona on the stage. I also pointed out in some communities her name was considered a slur and she needed to rethink it. She got upset and said it was her name, she could change it.

Most of our friends call her “Gypsy” now, but her family and I still call her Katie. Recently, she posted a long rant on Instagram about her name change not being respected. Keep in mind, she didn’t legally change her name. She got some backlash from her community, telling her to keep her persona on stage, some said I and her family were assholes. Am I being an ass here? ######

Response: NTA. Actually, that term is a slur used against the Romani people, so it's not an appropriate name for her to use ######


Prompt:
Post ahead so get in.

Backstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.

Now i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]

L is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like "I miss the homies and the drugs". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit.

I've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say "Its her life, let her do what she pleases" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to "Stay in my lane"

She recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs.

Edit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like "You cant tell me what to do." I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.

 Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA. Actually, I think you might be an asshole if you DON'T report this. No other adults in this child's life are stepping up, and it's truly honorable that you are trying to.

Please be aware though, that this will cause a massive rift in your family. They may suspect that you reported, and there could be significant fallout. I wish you the best, and I'm proud of you for looking out for your sister, even if she won't see it that way. ######


Prompt:
We were stuck in line for a half hour to get into a store and he wouldn’t stop looking over at the pretty woman in a super short dress reading a book called “sex and rage.” He made multiple comments about her book but it was very clear he was looking at her sexually - she was very pretty and showing a lot of skin (no hate, just fact).

WIBTA if I told my bf that that made me uncomfortable today that it was so blatant and for so long and even commented on? I mentioned in line he kept staring and he didn’t say anything in response but I don’t see him responding to this well since he’s not very empathetic or emotionally mature. ######

Response: NTA. actually I encourage it. It’s very disrespectful of both her and you, actually. He’s not a child and can control himself. ######


Prompt:
Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain

Okay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.

I have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.

So for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.

I am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??

So reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?

Edit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######

Response: NTA. Absolutely make a complaint. That’s some rude nonsense there ######


Prompt:
I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice.

TLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######

Response: NTA. Absolutely let her know. Sounds like a crime has been committed and if you're pretty sure she wouldn't have allowed it to be posted then she needs to know ASAP. ######


Prompt:
 For context: My SIL and her baby-daddy are living with her parents. For a few days she kicked out her baby-daddy because of his late night perusing, as she'd put it. Then her mom filled me and my hubby in that he'd actually been cheating on her with another woman from church, and later MIL told us that she'd actually found that he'd been using their daughter's blankets and clothes as cumrags.

Deeply disturbed, my hubby and I spoke to a therapist about the whole situation, and the therapist ended up calling cps. They're doing an investigation and baby-daddy has to leave the house for the duration.

Now the family is out for blood. They blame ME specifically (but not hubby, who was with me 100% of the way) for the whole situation. I've gotten horrible messages from FIL telling me I've ruined his family. They all know the reason I have a therapist is because of severe depression and anxiety, and now I'm beginning to feel really depressed again.

I didn't ask my MIL to supply me the information she did, and actually was trying to tell her all along that I didn't want her to tell me these things. They don't blame her. They don't blame baby-daddy for his inappropriate behavior and were willing to let him back into the home with open arms.

And yet I can't help but feel like I've turned everything to mud. AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. A therapist is a mandated reporter, but it's not like they just report to CPS if there's no concern. There was enough concern her for the therapist to call CPS, and CPS to proceed with an investigation - nothing about that is your fault. ######


Prompt:
Sold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.

The buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.

I urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.

But now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA. A store wouldn’t have a returns policy better than you’ve offering, so why should you? ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

Me and my ex wife split and she has major custody and I have only 20% custody. I pay 1000 dollars in child support each month and I expect it to go to the child and not for her to use. Anyway today I saw on face book that my ex posted a picture about her brand new cellphone which was around 900 dollars and said how her ex bought it for her.

At this point I was really pissed and commented on her post and I said  how that money was child support and not for her personal rule.People found the comment and started to stop following her. She ended loosing half her followers as it was her top post at the time.

My ex pm me saying how she can use the child support how ever she wants. She told me that it's her money now and she said she does not care about the baby at all. She said I was a terrible person for ruining her internet fame. ######

Response: NTA. A screenshot of that conversation may be valuable to you. ######


Prompt:
My sister’s dog has had cancer for about 3 years. It gets new tumours surgically removed every three months or so. A couple of weeks ago he was bleeding internally due to a tumour in his spleen. He lost his spleen and now needs a blood transfusion.

He is getting old for his breed and they don’t take great care of him (he’s not allowed inside the house). My sister is married with a child. My sister asked if I would donate my dogs blood to her dog. I said no, because there is a risk of the donor dog dying. I adore my dog, he is always with me, and I have no partner to keep me company.

The risk to my dog is really minimal and now my sister isn’t talking to me because I politely said no. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. A lot of people keep their dying pets alive too long. If an animal is old and has a terminal condition (which I assume this dog’s cancer is, if they have to remove tumors several times a year and take out his spleen) I think it’s better to just let them go instead of prolonging their suffering. It’s unfortunate that your sister’s dog is dying, but it’s doesn’t make you morally obligated to put your dog at risk, even if it’s a very small one. ######


Prompt:
I (45M) run a thriving business, to the point where I can live VERY comfortably.

My daughter (22F) works for me, started last year. She mostly deals with recruitment/hiring others. She's done a terrific job.

There was a slip up with one person (25M) we hired though. He completely and utterly lied about his education, having listed a rather prestigious university. I'm still surprised as to how he did this.

It only came to light several months after he began working for us. However, he was by far the best person I've ever hired.. he was just very quick thinking and socially skilled, and had the ability to execute bold ideas.

Once my daughter discovered he had lied, she informed me. Obviously feeling embarrassed she wanted him fired, and for good reason... he had lied

However, I wasn't even mad at her, or really at him. I wanted to keep him. I had a conversation with him and told him I was aware of what he did, but that I'd let him stay as long as he kept up the good work.

My daughter said I was an AH for this as did my wife. However, I don't think they're looking at the good of the business here. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. A lot of businesses overlook people who might be great for the job just because they didn’t go to the right university. If he’s doing his job well then let him stay. There’s no real reason to fire him. ######


Prompt: Before Christmas I fell and broke my hip, nothing extreme becsuse I'm young but still had to have a surgery and till February I only moved to perfom rehabilitative exercises. Then pandemic happened and I wasn't able to do anything. Which made me grumpy  as I'm used to at least walk a lot. Finally, 2 months ago I was allowed to start slow pilates sessions and also yoga. I don't think I gained that much weight but definitely lost some definition abs-wise as I'd been used to work out frequently. Frankly I was scared shitless of gaining weight as I had an eating disorder when I was younger and occasionally I get either concerned about my weight or concerned about being concerned about my weight. Surprisingly I'm almost proud of myself because not only I managed to get my ol' good bone moving again, but I also didn't have problems with having a bit of tummy. That was until my bf started to joke about me being a bit fluffy. He knows about my past problems with food so I assumed it was a weird slip-on. Then he did it again and again and again. Telling me I wouldn't fit into my slacks after eating an ice-cream. Or that I looked like I was preggars. Initally I told him my trousers size hadn't changed and he should google pregnant women to see how they looked like. He shrugged it off as a joke, so did I till I found myself doing some weird things I did when I was ill (playing with food instead of eating, trying to count calories, watching myself in mirror etc.) and hadn't done them for 3 years, at least. So next time he made another 'quip' I got angry and asked him to never comment on my body again even if I gained weight and had an arse of a horse he should be happy I was able to walk. He told me to calm down and that he wasn't aware "I lost my sense of humour back on the operating table". I'm now confused af, don't know whether I was being a jerk back then or it was all 'real' I even start to think about apologising. ######

Response: NTA. A joke is supposed to be funny, not mean. As soon as someone has to clarify that they're joking, the jokes gone to far. Be forceful, your mental and physical health is worth more than he's terrible attempts at humor. It's worth more than the relationship he's tearing down by tearing you down. ######


Prompt:
First, my sister and I are twins. We did the SAT during March 14, and we made a deal with each other. Whoever got the lower score would do the other person’s chores for the entire summer break. We both agreed on this, and we asked our mother to enforce it. Obviously minors can’t enter contracts, but our mom is the supreme authority on chores.

It turns out that I barely got higher than her. I have a 1500, while she got a 1480. I still beat her; therefore, I am chore-free for the entire summer. It turns out, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t do my chores for the entire week, and then she got in trouble for it. She’s semi-grounded until she does all the chores.

I still fold my own laundry, and we all wash our own dishes. She just has to do extra stuff, like mow and fertilize the lawn, etc. She’s very mad at me now, for obvious reasons. She wants me to do my share of the chores. The thing is, we had an agreement. I’m positive that if I got the worse score, then she’d not care that I would’ve to do more chores.

I’m not going to relinquish her of her duty, but I just want to see how wrong I am.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. A deal is a deal. ######


Prompt:
TL:DR is the title.

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My friend is turning 35 in another month. I was gifted an iPhone 11 pro max in December 2019 and I hate this phone. It's in mint condition and is in an otterbox case and hasn't been dropped or scratched but I hate this phone!

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So my friend's birthday is coming up in May and I'm thinking of just de-activating this iPhone and giving it to her, and buying myself the Galaxy S20 Ultra. In my mind, it's a win-win. She gets a bloody $1,000+ phone, and I get the phone I really want. When I asked her if she thought this was a good idea, she kind of took offense to it, and let me know I'm being a dick by giving her "hand-me-downs" for her birthday. She went on to say that I'm using her birthday as an excuse to buy myself a new phone.

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My jaw is on the floor. I know I spoil the people in my life because I'm a spoiled brat who spoils herself first but I do give my friends really expensive, high quality shit....and I'll be the first to admit that I'm damn selfish, but this iPhone 11 pro max is still bloody new!!! It's not even 6 months old, and I bought it NEW and have taken pristine care of it. but Idk that I'm being the asshole here or not??

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so.... AITA?!?! ######

Response: NTA. A basically unused $1,000 phone? Sign me up. She should just stick a different case on it. I'm not a huge fan of hand-me-downs, but this is certainly an exception. ######


Prompt:
I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny.

Last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached  him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't.

It's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted.

So today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started.

Now he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first.

AITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ######

Response: NTA. A 50 year old man knows that showing his student porn is not a joke. He wants you to think it’s a joke so you’ll doubt yourself like you’re doing now. You’re not getting him in trouble, he’s getting himself in trouble. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, one is 7, the other is 9 and the oldest is 17, for mothers day my wife wanted me to make breakfast for the family.  So I made waffles for everyone, my wife doesn't eat a lot so she got 1, and the younger ones get 1 as well.  My older one is a pretty big guy for a 17yo he is 6'3 and 205 right now, Its a nightmare to get him full so I made him 2 full waffles for himself and I made myself just one.

We all eat at the dinner table and the 9yo was complaining about not getting 2 also, my oldest told him that when he gets big and strong too then he can have 2 like him.  My 9 year old got really pouty and refused to eat his food till he gets 2, cause he's a kid he got over it cause the smell of syrup was too much and ate it all up.

After breakfast my wife pulled me aside and said I couldn't just humor him by making a full one and splitting it with him and the youngest.  I told her that we can't give in when they are pouty, and while she agrees she said I should have at least waited till the younger one were gone to make the older one more.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. A 17 year old boy needs more food than a 9 year old who hasn’t even started puberty. Could your 9 year old have actually eaten that much? ######


Prompt:
For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.

This summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house.

My internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out.

Today my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said "enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us" and hung up.

AITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######

Response: NTA. A 16 hour drive is torture and you already bought your tickets. Can you talk to your dad and ask what's *really* behind this? Does he want to spend more time with you before you go back to college? Is he worried about the extra exposure to COVID you could pick up on a second flight? There has to be an underlying reason, right? ######


Prompt: I have a 12 year old cousin who idolizes me. I haven’t seen her in months since covid started but we are able to start expanding our pod in my city. I visited her and my auntie today. My auntie said that I look great because of my weight loss. I lost weight because I lost my job and my ex boyfriend left me. So I was depressed which caused my appetite to be gone and I didn’t have money to buy food. I didn’t eat very much. I lost about 15 lbs. I didn’t need to lose the weight and I wouldn’t mind gaining 10 back. I’m just getting back on my feet now so don’t worry about me. I just thanked her when she complimented me. My cousin asked me how I lost weight because she gained quite a few lbs during quarantine. I told her that I just exercised and ate a bunch of fruit and vegetables. I didn’t want to tell her that I starved myself because what if she does the same? My aunt kept saying stuff about my body and I got fed up. I told her in private that I lost weight unintentionally through being broke and being depressed from a break up so I don’t want to be reminded about that. She apologized but is now mad at me for giving her daughter bad advice and giving her unrealistic expectations? Wtf? I find this ridiculous because vegetables and exercise are good habits. It’s not like I told her to take up smoking. I know I lied but AITA? ######

Response: Nta. A 12 year old shouldn’t focus too much on loosing weight cuz they’re still growing. Telling them to that starving works can result in eating disorders. Plus, healthy eating and exercise can also lead to weight loss, so it’s not entirely false. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because this will be obvious on my personal.

I (M17) live with my sister (F16) and my mom and dad. Very recently, my sister has gained about 20000 followers or so on Tik tok and has managed to gain a few sponsorships equivalent to about 500$. This, of course, made all four of us extremely proud of her. However, because of this, my sister has flirted with the possibility of quitting high school to focus on Tik tok and social media full time. My mom and dad both actually want her to do so because they’ve heard about the millions people can make. Of course, this made her extremely happy because she’d quit high school to do something she likes but any sensible person (I think), would say this is a terrible idea. I couldn’t let this happen so I sat down with my mom and dad and showed her a bunch of statistics on how hard it is to really make a living off of social media which thankfully changed their minds. I feel kind of bad because I may have robbed her of some happiness but I have no clue ######

Response: NTA. 20,000 followers and $500 dollars isn't enough to justify dropping out of school. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.

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I have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like "I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game." when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.

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I've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######

Response: NTA. 2-3 hours is all you’re asking for and he can’t even give you that fully? If he mentioned to his friends that he wanted to spend time with you without distraction they’d probably understand. I’m sure they would be fine for 2-3 hours without him. Try to get him to ask his friends about it in front of you so if/ when some of them see your side, your boyfriend has no excuse not to spend time being attentive to you. ######


Prompt:
We just had an argument over it. Out of courtesy I wait until 9-10am to grind coffee. Before that, since I'm up around 6am, I drink instant.

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Its worked out during the week. He's up early to wfh so it doesn't matter. But its saturday and he thinks I'm an asshole for doing anything noisy before noon. I think he needs to get earplugs or something if hes going to sleep so late. You can't expect quiet during daylight while everyone is stuck at home ######

Response: NTA. 10a is a perfectly reasonable time to grind coffee. But maybe you could pre-grind some in the evenings for the next day just to keep the peace? Everyone is losing their minds right now staying at home, so I’m sure many roommates are having similar arguments. Don’t turn your home into a war zone over silly stuff, try to let this one slide and moving forward hopefully you reach a compromise! ######


Prompt:
When we started dating he gave me his ipad and put my fingerprint there so I could draw on it as I'm a part time artist but couldn't afford an ipad so I was using something worse. After about a month I left for 3 weeks to go back home. When i returned his ipad had been reset and my fingerprint didn't work anymore. I asked him about it and he said his parents came over and he reset it for reasons I don't remember exactly. I asked if i could still use it and he said yes but he'd need to look through what he's got on it first. It's been months and he still hasn't.

Look, I'm not crazy, I think. I don't want his passwords or whatever, I was just using it to draw and if he doesn't want to give it to me that's also fine, but he changed it so suddenly and it was all fine before and now isn't. He got upset with me when I said I'm feeling a bit insecure because of it and said he just never shares his passwords with people (which isn't what I was asking for), but that's a lie as when his best friend came over he logged into all of his stuff pc, netflix etc. I never asked for any of these and I have a separate account on his pc, he claims that no one knows any of his passwords but that's just a blatant lie. His best friend logged into his pc account in front of me to show me something. I told him this and said I don't appreciate him lying. He said he probably forgot about giving his best friend the passwords and I told him this just doesn't inspire trust to me.

He called me controlling and manipulative and expects an apology, but what should I apologise for? I didn't ask for his passwords, I just pointed out he lied. Now he's not talking to me and I'm wondering if I'm really TA. ######

Response:
 NTA. 1) His behavior is suspicious to begin with. From what you've said, it seem like he's hiding something. So there's a level of trust gone. 2) He lied to you. Now I don't see how there's any trust left. If he's willing to lie to you about one thing, why not another? Where can you draw the line of when he's truthful?

He's the one being manipulative, not talking to you and demanding an apology for you calling him on his bs. ######


Prompt:
I (23F) help my brother (34M) with running his business. Often, this requires me to learn new skills such as marketing software, writing up proposals, applying for loans, interacting with customers, etc. I do all of this is my own free time and I have never been paid. This has been something I have done for a couple of years, but since stay-at-home orders, he has relied on me even more with an average of 2-3 hours per night. Often, he will sit next to me while I do his work and he plays on his phone with excuses such as "You just make forms so much better!"

Last night, he decided to pay me $25 for doing an online interview for him. I did extensive research and thought it sounded pretty good so I was content with it. My Mother saw that he paid me and she flipped out on me for being spoiled and taking his money. I tried to give him back the money previously and said not to worry about it 4 times (I even left the room with the money on the table). But, a part of me wanted the money. I have sacrificed so much of my time to help him succeed and have never gotten paid.

My Mother says I'm money-hungry and looking to profit, but isn't my time worth money? Considering how much time I have given him, I feel like a one-time payment of $25 is not too much. I'm not asking to be put on payroll or even have a weekly income from his business. AITA? Thanks! ######

Response:
 NTA. $25 and she's getting bent out of shape? Guess she won't mind not being paid at her job then, since she's so concerned about not being money-hungry. Sounds like a real peach..../s

Your brother should have been paying you for all the things you've done and should be paying you for everything you do for his business going forward. If not, then he should be reported to your local government labor agency. ######


Prompt:
My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have "plans tomorrow" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me.

They are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors  they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship.

I apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######

Response: NTA. $1500 fragile equipment is not something I find shareable. ######


Prompt:
I am currently 21 and going to graduate college soon after the summer semester. I'm currently getting towards the end of the spring semester. My mom passed away 5 days ago at 46 yrs old, so I notified all my professors and they all gave me extensions and were very understanding and compassionate, including the professor in question.

This is what the professor told me. I'll call her Prof. She said that as long as I can turn everything in by the last day of school, there will be no point deduction.

Recently we had a take home test due (since school is now totally online). Part 1 was multiple choice, part 2 was free response (short answers, sketches of depositional environments etc). I have not completed it yet and it was due yesterday. One day ago. In the online class video chat today, everyone had questions about flaws in the exam, what they got wrong etc. They wanted her to release the answers. Usually if a student hasn't taken the exam, the teacher waits until they take it, then they can release the answers. Prof said: ok I can release the answers right now and go over them. The person that didn't take the test will get an alternate assignment. She then talked about the answers to part 1.

She didn't discuss answers to part 2. However I got an email saying, in summary:

Parts 1 and 2 will each get 50% point deduction for lateness and seeing the answera. This is almost 8 points off of my final grade. It is meant to be fair to others. I can understand part 1, but why deduct from part 2 when I didn't get any answers?

I'm so mad right now I'm shaking. Will I be a jerk if I write that she was not helpful in this situation in her university evaluation? I will of course answer other questions fairly, like for example she does a good job answering questions. I won't lie and say she was bad at that just because I am mad. However, commenting about her compassion or whatever could hurt her career. ######

Response: NTA. ~~That said, it could be the professor simply forgot. Email her reminding her that you had an extension, and why. Try to work it out with the professor first.~~ Talk with the dean. You should not be penalized for having a death in your immediate family. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few years ago but it still bothers me. My senior year I was talking to my uncle and he showed me his phone which had several pictures saved of one of my classmates. Including one of her in a bikini. He was telling me how she was going to nursing school and all kinds of information pointing to him just stalking her profile. We weren’t friends so there was no reason he should even know her. He eventually just went on about how attractive she was and if he was a few years younger, etc.
So the next day I found her at school and told her. I said that she should probably block him on social media, made sure she knew which account, all that. I thought I did the right thing and told my mom. Next thing I knew, she was yelling at me. Telling me how it wasn’t any of my business and how if she didn’t want people to have her photos then she shouldn’t post it. So AMITA? Or was I overreacting? ######

Response:
 NTA. ~~Sounds like she was being groomed. Maybe not by your uncle but she certainly had a strong opinion on it.~~

~~You can't save people from themselves, but you spoke out and tried. That's a lot more than most people would have done.~~

You did her a MASSIVE favor and you need to remember this when it comes to letting your mom spend time with your kids, because she was willing to cover it up. ######


Prompt:
I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc...

At 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.

AITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######

Response: NTA. “Oh I’m sorry MIL, I’ve already made myself some dinner! Maybe let us know next time so we can arrange dinners!” ######