Prompt:
I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work.

A high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons.

One thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us).

Our friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children.

My mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too.

Yes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######

Response: NTA at all. You should go off about how satisfying you find it to have a good work ethic, how you see your future as so rosy because you know you aren't scared to get your hands dirty & earn what you have. How people who rely on others are just pitiful leeches and would never be able to get themselves out of a bad situation but you feel secure knowing you worked for savings & didn't take your parents generosity for granted... but something tells me she wouldn't like that ######


Prompt:
So I work in the ER- and a few weeks ago we had a larger patient in a room close to the nurses station. You can hear everything in that room that is said at the nurses station. The nurse taking care of him was one who I find immature and just an overall bad nurse.
So this patient asked the nurse to be turned in the cart- our Er carts are small and uncomfortable. So the nurse comes out of the room and to the station and proceeds to say “alright I’m gonna need 12 people to help me with big boy down there.” “Alright sir, hold on I’m gonna need a fork lift.” To which I was appalled, at how inappropriate this nurse was. So normally I would tell the charge nurse but she was laughing along! So I texted my manager and they said they would take care of it. The nurse got written up.
Well this week word got out I was the one who reported her and her and her catty friend group have been giving me shit all week.
Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA at all. You did the right thing. People at the ER are having one of the worst days of their lives and the least they can have is a little bit of respect from the men and women who are supposed to be helping them. If she has such a shitty attitude she shouldn't be working in a job like that at all. ######


Prompt:
I’m actually making this post for my mom, because she doesn’t have a reddit account. I’ll show her the results.

Anyways, we went to a Best Buy today to look at TVs because we’re moving, and our TV is ancient and barely works anymore. When we left the store, we heard a dog barking. A dog was left in a car, not running so no AC, with one window barely cracked. It was 85 degrees out today, so the temperature in the car would’ve gotten to 104 after just 10 minutes, 115 after 20. Dogs suffer from heat exhaustion when their body temperature reaches 103 degrees, and are at risk of heat stroke when they reach 106 degrees.

First, my mom when in the store to ask them to page the owner, but the employees refused. My mom then decided to call the police, because we had no way of knowing how long the dog had already been in the car, or how long it would be until the owners got back. My mom didn’t want to risk the dog dying if the owners stayed in the store too long. So she called the police, and waited until they arrived. About 5-10 minutes after we found the dog, the owners got back. My mom let them know that she had called the police, and obviously they were mad at her because of it. They called her “uncaring.” So my mom is doubting herself, thinking maybe she took it too far. What do you think? ######

Response: NTA at all. You defended the defenceless and even tried to take alternative steps rather than just immediately calling the police. You might have saved that dogs life. Good for you! ######


Prompt:
Background:

My husband’s (30m) Federal job has taken us first to Oklahoma for several months and now to California. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom to make the transitions easier since childcare is so expensive.

I also lost both my mom (50f) and my brother (17m) within 4 years of each other when I was 17 and 21 (I promise this is relevant).

Scenario:

In November my dad(63m) had a massive heart attack that required an emergency triple bypass and mitral valve replacement. My husband was able to take a week off from work and stay home with our daughter(2f) so I could fly back to TN to be there. The surgery went fairly well, but it was hugely stressful for me. The thought of being an orphan at 30 is heartbreaking. (Can you be an orphan if you’re an adult?) I flew back to California once he was stabilized and have been here since.

My husband’s job has a process where you can submit a request to relocate back home for medical emergencies. We qualify for this relocation and I’ve asked him to consider moving back to be closer to my dad. My husband is reluctant due to the difference in workload (The TN job would be busier and more work) and the logistics and cost of moving cross country.

Meanwhile, Dad has had 2 more surgeries to correct a persistent heart murmur and install a pacemaker. I continue to bring up this transfer and I continue to get a response about the logistics, cost, and workload differences.

So I lost my shit. I told him that I would resent him if we don’t have a real conversation about this transfer. I have sacrificed so much for this opportunity for him and I truly feel like our marriage will suffer if he won’t even consider it. I want our daughter to know her grandfather, I want to spend time with my dad while he’s relatively healthy.

AITA? I hate ultimatums, but I don’t know if I could forgive my husband if something happens to dad and I’m not there. ######

Response: NTA at all. This is obviously really important to you, for good reason, and he should be more sensitive to your feelings imo. He should at least be talking about some compromise to allow you to spend time with your dad. Good luck. ######


Prompt:
I live with my parents and brother.

My dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there.

This honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll.

AITA for asking my dad to quit? ######

Response: NTA at all. They aren’t jokes if you aren’t laughing ######


Prompt:
For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy.

Alice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. They have a good home environment and are financially very well off. But recently Ben and after a while Alice was bitten by the urge to have a kid biologically related to them because they wanted a chance to "do things right" and "provide the best start in life" (their views, not mine).

So they asked me to be their (traditional) surrogate and said that they would cover all costs (legal, medical etc) associated with it. They would be also be paying off my student dent, renting a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years plus giving me a substantial amount of cash. I said sure - it'll be 9 months of my life in exchange for being set up for quite some time, and my immediate family thinks it is a great idea.

However, when I said "sure", I was expecting something along the lines of IUI, where we go to the doctor to get Bob's sperm prepped, me getting shots etc. basically the whole artificial insemination package.

But Alice & Bob have asked me to well, get pregnant the traditional way. Their rationale is that 1. it is the cheapest way 2. they don't want to go to the hospital now and 3. they think babies conceived naturally are healthier/the pregnancy would be safer without the chemicals, but I just can't get over the extreme ick factor. And even IF this was going to take place at home I think a syringe would work fine.

WIBTA if I went back on my word? Is their request reasonable? My immediate family doesn't see anything wrong with it and has been congratulating my sister on her impending baby. On the other hand, if I do give it up am I also mad for passing up what is essentially 200k, especially in this economy now? ######

Response: NTA at all. There's a massive step between being happy to surrogate for your sister and being okay with having sex with her husband in order to do so,and nobody should be judging you for having that line. Plenty of other people would have it too. ######


Prompt: This happened years ago.  A friend (22F) asked me (22F) to go on a group camping trip shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up.  I agreed to go, and she paid for the camping site.  I found out afterwards that everyone else going was dating each other...four couples and myself.  She said that I would have to bring my own tent and sleep alone and could join the others in the daytime.  I gave her my part of the money for camping but told her I would not be going on the camping trip to be a ninth wheel immediately after a breakup because it made me feel really awkward and rubbed in the feeling that I was alone, but that I appreciated the invitation and would go camping with her another time.  She was very upset and said that I had promised to go, which is true, but it was not quite a 'group of friends' event, it was a couples camping trip...with me as the awkward ninth wheel.  So tell me, Reddit, AITA for backing out of a camping trip that I had promised to go on, because the trip was a different group than I expected? ######

Response: NTA at all. There is no point in going to a place where you know you're going to be uncomfortable and won't enjoy the moment and of course it's understandable with your situation. Your friend is being a bit insensitive here. ######


Prompt:
SO works mon- thurs. he used to work fridays as well but due to the current world situation his hours were cut. My job completely shut down. Prior to shutting down I worked at a club, would get home at 330/4 am and still have to get up with our son at 730/8 am everyday. Even if my SO was off work.

Any days off he has, he sleeps in till 3 or 4 pm. I try to wake him up around 11 every day off and he says he’s getting up and then just doesn’t.

I’m getting increasingly pissed off because he ends up getting up so late, and has like 5 hours left that our son is awake but he is too busy waking up, showering, making food, checking his phone to even pay attention to our son.

He is the only one with a license so I depend on him to take us to the grocery store / pick up groceries due to the world situation. Or he can watch our son while I walk across the road to an expensive grocery store. I don’t care either way. We also depend on him to drive us places we can go for a walk because we live in a pretty dense area and it is still crowded even with All the stay at home orders. We do not have a yard.

I finally snapped today and told him to wake the fuck up and take care of our son and he said I expect too much of him because he works all the time and he’s tired and his fucking foot psoriasis is bothering him. I told him if he doesn’t want to wake up at a normal time he can go live with his parents because he’s zero help to me here and snaps on me constantly because he’s tired or somethings bothering him. It makes me really mad when the baby and I go to bed and then he comes in at 1/2am being loud af and then we have to be quiet till 3pm because he’s sleeping??
(Yes I have spoken to him plenty of times about all of this. )

AITA for telling him to leave? ######

Response: NTA at all. There are two parents in your house, but right now it sounds like there’s really only one. If he is working and you’re not, it’s reasonable for you to do somewhat more childcare work than him. That is not what this is though based on your description. It sounds like he can barely bothered to parent at all. He needs to step up and act like an adult and do his part to care for his own kid and family. You need to have a very clear and serious talk with him I think, but if he refuses to listen, then he is not worth keeping in your house. ######


Prompt:
Please excuse me for my English.

I am 13 year Male and I moved from my home country of south Korea to Canada when I was 11. It is almost 2 years since I have moved. My English isnt the best but it is getting very better. My name is Jaehyeong it is a very hard name for native English people to pronouns because of that they almost always get it wrong and I correct them. Normally when I correct them I just repeat my name instead of saying that not my name. I feel this is easier since it maybe would make people mad. I let a select people call me jae but I just find it disrespecting to call someone you arent close to a shorten name.  we had a different teacher on the online classes and when he called my name it was so miss pronouns I didnt hear it correctly one of my friends had to say something to me to tell me that this man called my name. So I said here and the teacher said I am going to call you jae form now on. I said can you please learn. My name instead and he didnt say anything. When he then called on me again he mis pronouns it again so I didnt know he called on me. It is still hard for me to keep track of everything in calls. So once i answered the question he said he is going to call me jae because he cant pronouns my name and I cant understand his miss pronunciation. I agreed. After the class I got my grade and it said I got 10 points taken off of professional because of my ask for him to say my full name and then not answering to it. Am I the asshole ######

Response: NTA at all. The sub teacher is definitely T A. Names are important, and he needs to take the time to learn it. Also, the teacher should definitely not take off points for his inability to pronounce your name and fully engage all students in the class. ######


Prompt:
Growing up, I was the sort of father figure figure for my younger sister and brother, so I am overprotective by nature, I'll admit that. However, I hate my sister's fiance for reasons unrelating to the fact that he's saying my sister.

Over the seven month span that they've been together, the fiance has called me a 'f#ggot', and used multiple slurs against me relating to my sexuality. He has called out younger brother a 'r#tard' because of his autism, and mocked him when he thought nobody was looking. I ignored the slurs against me but I did get very angry about the R-word comment and I did attack him over that. I take responsibility for attacking him over it, but I do not regret it.

The other thing that worries me is that he has multiple domestic abuse charges against him. I know people deserve second chances, but he's got a very long rap sheet going for him.
Yesterday, my sister called me and said that they we r going to start planning a wedding. And I said that I was happy for her, but also asked why she was Allah with marrying a guy that used slurs and insulted her brothers, especially our younger brother, who is very sensitive when it comes to certain things.

She said that I was being dramatic and that he'd been joking, but I wasn't having it and told her that I wasn't going to the wedding unless he swore not to say those things, and that our brother (who relies on me a lot) wasn't going if he was just going to be demeaned.

My sister said that I hadn't made any attempts to get to know him, which isn't true, and that it was only a joke, but I said that was a bad joke to make and also that I wasn't going to entertain him because he was a 'd#ck'.

Rightfully or not, she got upset and hung up on me.

Was I wrong for calling the fiance that? Was she wrong? Was everybody wrong? ######

Response: NTA at all. So many red flags with this guy. I think you are 100% right to call him out in his behavior to your sister. ######


Prompt:
I have a very close friend, J, we have known each other for over 20 years, lived together, talk regularly, supported each other through ups and downs and since we both lost our parents have said how much we regard each other as family. Truly, we have always said how we feel like sisters.

J is getting married next year, to a great guy and I'm thrilled for her.  She has another friend she has known since school, this friend B is not a great friend.  She was not supporting of J's engagement, was mean about J's choice of outfit as it isn't a traditional white dress and said she doesn't want to be part of the wedding party as she doesn't want to be 'the fun police'.

I saw J this weekend and she said she had something difficult to tell me, she and her fiance have decided to have a family only wedding (when I first heard this I thought, I honestly thought Id be included) mainly because she doesn't want to invite B and J said she can't invite me and not B as that would create drama.

I said she should have whatever wedding she likes, it's her day.  I didn't tell her that I am truly crushed she doesn't include me as her family after so many years of saying I am. I have no blood relatives left, they all died so this is a real blow.

However, this is the AITA bit.  J has said she really wants me there when she gets ready on the morning of her wedding, helping her get ready etc and also to organise her Hen party and help with planning her wedding - but I wont be going. To any of it.

AITA for saying no?  I really want to be part of her day but I think this is just unfair on me.

&#x200B;

tl;dr:  Im not being invited to my best friends wedding because she doesnt want to invite her other friend and doesnt want to upset her and is using a 'family only' wedding as and excuse. Yet she wants me to do all the things I would have done if I were invited and acting as her bridesmaid. ######

Response:
 NTA at all. She wants you to help plan and organize events for a wedding that she made a point to say you *weren’t* invited to? Rude. Weddings are a lot of work to plan. And what about the bachelorette party, are you even invited to that, or does she just want you to plan it for her and then watch the party leave without you because “it would cause drama if you were there”? And helping her get ready on the day itself, AYFKM? You’re just supposed to hang out like a 5th wheel during all these Kodak moments of the bridesmaids, putting on the bridal gown, mother of the bride, first look, etc. and have to have this conversation:

“Hi, nice to meet you, how do you know J?”
“Oh, we’ve been friends for 20 years, we were roommates, we’re practically like sisters!”
“Great! Who are you bringing to the wedding?”
“Oh, uh, I wasn’t invited to the wedding.”

 And then....go awkwardly home by yourself after everyone else piles into the limo to go to the venue? Honestly, that would make me feel a thousand times more left out than simply not being involved at all. What’s next? Asking you to show up after the reception you’re not invited to, to help clean up?

Just imagining all this is nightmare fuel, much less actually doing it.

Presumably there will be a bridal party at this wedding, people who ARE invited and will be attending. Those are the people she should ask for help. Or she could hire a wedding planner. But no, what she’s asking is bad manners in the extreme. If she wants you there, if she’s supposedly mature enough to get married, then she can be an adult and invite you.

ETA: You can always send a nice congratulatory card, a gift if you want (gifts are not required from people who aren’t invited, though—purely up to you) and maybe say, “If the wedding is family-only, then I think it would be too awkward for me to be involved in the planning, but let’s go have a celebratory drink once you’re back from the honeymoon!” That would be a perfectly nice gesture on your part, without committing to what she’s asking you to do. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 23 and pregnant from a one night stand and is planning on keeping the baby. She’s in a pretty decent place in her life. She has an undergraduate degree in STEM and makes pretty okay money with lots of room for growth. Right now, she wants to keep the baby and not tell the dad about it - effectively choosing to be a single mother.

As her father, I have a lot of grievances towards these choices. Mostly because how difficult it is to raise a child alone at that age and with a non-substantial income or help from other friends with kids or parents. We lost her mother, my fiancee, during her birth. I raised her alone while working 2 jobs. Could barely afford food, childcare and the mortgage. We lived off foodbanks and often times, I didn’t eat so she could. I think she was too young to understand when things were really bad like when we couldn’t afford electricity and bathed in cold water or when we went out to eat “at friends” which was the local shelter.

I decided to tell my daughter my one personal struggles while raising her, and how it was extremely difficult and that I didn’t want her to go through what I did while trying to provide the best life she can for her child. I did that, and while I dont regret anything, I still don’t want her to struggle like I did. I still want the absolute best and easiest path for her.

Am I being controlling thinking like this? She is indeed free to live her own life now, but I suggested that she try to co-parent with the father of her child - hoping it will make it easier for her. She absolutely does not want this and was quite upset at my mentioning it and not receptive to my telling of my experience raising her as a single parent which makes me think I may be in the wrong. ######

Response: Nta at all. She needs to know what's coming. So she can start drafting her game plan. I think u are a very good father. Bless u. ######


Prompt:
I (20F) have known for a long time that I‘m gay but I haven’t come out to anyone besides my sister and my friend Maya. Maya and I were pretty close and I thought I could tell her without being judged.

We are in the same group of friends and there is one guy, Tom, who very obviously had romantic feelings for me. I didn’t lead him on and made it clear that I didn’t feel the same. However, he was fine with just being friends. A few weeks later he told me he couldn’t just stay friends and was constantly messaging me. He just wouldn’t let me alone. It started to become a topic within our friend group and I was very uncomfortable because there was no chance for him and I to get together. They started teasing me and suggested I should give a chance since he is a great guy.

Maya thought I was deceiving Tom and leading him by not telling him I was gay. She argued he deserved to know and it would get him and my other friends off my back. I told her it’s no ones business to know my about sexuality and he should take no for an answer.

A week ago she called him and actually told him.  He called me out for it on a zoom call in front of everyone. I was mortified and immediately left the call and bawled my eyes out for the rest of the day. I confronted maya about it and she argued that this was the right thing to do and  she did me a favor since everyone was really supportive and now I don‘t have to worry about their reactions anymore. I blocked her on everything.

I explained what happened to my friends and most of them think I should give her a second chance or at least be civil with her to keep the peace in the group. I thought about it but I just don‘t want to see her face ever again but I also don’t want the group to fall apart. ######

Response: NTA at ALL. She had absolutely no right to do that. I’m so sorry that happened to you. That was a clear violation of your privacy and trust. ######


Prompt:
My son and only child is 13. He woke me and my wife up crying and shaking the other night, he’s never ever done the before, so I was concerned. My wife, on the other hand was mad, she told him to go back to sleep in a snappy tone.

I got up and lead to the kitchen, I got us a glass of water and we talked about it for a while. It was pretty bad too, i don’t think I should say it here, because it was a private talk. All I’ll say is I get why it made him cry.

I tucked him back in and ran my fingers through his hair till he fell asleep. When I got back to our bedroom, my wife asked where I was. When I told her, she asked what the dream was about, I told her that she would know if she cared earlier. This pissed her off. AITA?

Edit: I apologized to her, but she won’t apologize to our son. ######

Response: NTA at all. Response was appropriate, too. I would say your wife owes her child a sincere apology. He came to her in a time of need, and she shunned him. Hopefully she learns and changes her attitude. ######


Prompt: Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years. he was staying with me during lockdown. i’ve got a job, he cannot be bothered to find one. So today i asked him if he would mind popping out and getting some shopping. he leaves and comes back a few hours later, no shopping. I ask him where the shopping is and he said he left his money at home. (i’ve lent him probably thousands over the years, the fact that he couldn’t go and get £20 worth of shopping? literally wanted bread,milk,cola, and some calpol) I ask him where he went and it turns out he went to meet my sister in law to do some lines of coke. i’m like ?!?! so you can go out of your way for her, but going shopping for me is unreasonable? Anyway, so i got mad and said if he’s not gonna do basic things to help me out, he can leave. Am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA At All. Really, you deserve so much better. ######


Prompt: So long story short my friend from high school has 6 kids and she takes care of none of them. The last time I went ober to her house it was disgusting dirty diapers on the floor trash piled up so high that it was a maze just to get to the couch. The kids were so dirty it looked like they hadnt been bathed in at least a week. It is bad enough that she has 6 kids crammed in a 2 bedroom trailer but she also decided to get 2 dogs that she now doesnt take care of. The dogs have fleas so bad that the kids now have fleas crawling in their hair. That was all bad enough, but i reached my limit when the kids started talking about their private places and how they knew it sometimes felt good when other people touched you there. Former friend recently let her new bf move in with them so its super concerning to me that the kids might be being abused along with being neglected. So I called cps and made a report. Somehow it got out and former friend messaged me freaking out calling me every name in the book and saying that I am a horrible person, and that she needs those kids to survive. So tell me AITA? ######

Response: NTA at all. Oh my lord. You did the right thing by those kids. The opinions or feelings of the adults in the situation are irrelevant. Too bad if they don't like it; shame on them for their treatment of the kids. The kids need help and you provided a way for that to happen. ######


Prompt:
I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc...

At 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.

AITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######

Response: NTA at all. Not only do you have a hot meal that you've been preparing that will now need to be saved and reheated which will diminish its quality, but you are also eating pre cooked hot dogs and hamburgers which is the opposite of your fresh, hot meal. ######


Prompt:
I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning.

I posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate.

Am I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######

Response: NTA at all. My sister and I used to do similar on Father’s Day for our single mom. ######


Prompt: I hate getting touched, and especially when I’ve already told them I hate getting touched without my permission. I only let few people touch me, and I even get annoyed with family members touching me. My grandmother constantly touches my waist and I hate it, I already told her to not touch me. Yet she did it again, I got really mad, and she got really mad and upset. Now I have to apologize. She did it so many times at the most annoying times, and I can’t stand her bullshit. ######

Response: NTA at all. If you tell someone not to touch you, they should respect your wishes. You shouldn’t be forced to apologize for getting mad at this, you have every right to be upset ######


Prompt:
I’m an Indian woman (21) who was born and currently living in Australia. I have a younger brother (18) who is severely disabled and requires 24/7 care. My father is in my opinion incredibly controlling. Everything I do needs to be run past him, he approves who I’m friends with, he controls when and why I leave the house. He has also chosen my career for me, Medicine. My father has also expressed to me that when I’m allowed to date in two years that I will have to consult with him first about the boy I want to go on a date with, and he obviously has the typical restrictions that any Indian parents would. Also regarding my future he told me that I’ll be allowed to move out once I’m married, and that he along with my mum and brother will live in a granny flat behind I house I live in with my future husband.

To all of this I think its incredibly unfair that he’s dictating every aspect of my life, I obviously do want to take care of my brother and my parents but I can’t deal with my father constantly using him to guilt me into doing everything he wants.

I’ve considered moving out now, I have good savings and would be able to take care of myself, but I know my father would stop me from being able to contact my mum and brother. And i’m worried that I’d be affecting my brothers future if I leave them.

I want to take care of my brother, I love him more than anyone else in this world. And I want him to live with me for the rest of our lives so I can take of him and give him a good life. But I selfishly want some life choices to be my own.

WIBTA if I move out of home potentially causing my father to stop contact between my and my brother, jeopardising his future?

TLDR: I have a controlling father, who will cut contact with my and prevent me from seeing my disabled brother if I move out. WIBTA If I do? ######

Response: NTA at all. I’m an Indian woman and I understand your situation. It will be unpleasant to move out but if you don’t do it now you will be a prisoner in your own home and you will lose any agency you have over major life decisions. Even for an Indian father, he is extreme. Good luck ######


Prompt: So for context this was before lockdown and happened in the school bus. My house is one of the last stops on the route so the bus was mostly empty. I just looked back to see if anyone I knew was still on the bus and I noticed the girl on the next seat. Her skirt was stained red due to period blood. And I thought that i could offer her my jacket so that she could wrap it around her waist. When I did offer it to her, she completely lost it and started getting angry at me saying that I was wrong to think that there was anything wrong with period blood(which I don't btw) and shame on me  and so on. Eventually her stop came and she got off the bus. Since the bus was mostly empty no one heard. Now like I said I don't think there is anything wrong with periods, they're perfectly normal and I would give a hoodie to someone with a broken nose too. AITA for doing this ? ######

Response: NTA at all. Her outburst is strange but I guess it may come from her being embarrassed as well. Don't mind her. ######


Prompt:
My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).

The blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom "mom" most of the time but refer to me as "mom's kid" or "step brother" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.

My dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.

I am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet.  I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's.  The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:

1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more
2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps
3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one.

WIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ######

Response:
 NTA at all.  You are at the cusp of being an actual adult and you make the decision of what makes you better in a mentally and physical place.

Not all step siblings work out.  No matter what movies and TV shows like to blast out.  You do what makes you feel happy, safe, and secure.

But also, talk to your Dad and Mom about this too.  Good luck!

Edit: Words ######


Prompt:
My step dad married my mom when I was 5. He never adopted me, but he's always been dad. 6 years ago, mom died. A year later, he remarried. I don't have a problem with that; I'm glad he found someone.

The new wife doesn't mind that I call her by her name, but the rest of her family is mad as he'll that I won't call her "mom".

The logical side of my brain is wondering, is my step dad's new wife my mom?

The emotional side says, I'm in my mid40s. I don't need a "new" mom. Sugar momma, maybe 😄 but I'm a grown adult, I don't need a parental figure anymore.

So aita for not calling my step dad's new wife "mom"? ######

Response: NTA at all.  Step-parents don't get to choose whether or not their step-child is comfortable with calling them mom/dad whether or not the child is 5 or 45.  If she's fine with what you call her and you're fine with it, then it is no one else's place to insert their opinion. ######


Prompt:
I was on an online meeting when he came back from grocery shopping. Came into the bedroom to give me a kiss. I move because it was not professional. He got mad and slammed the door. Coffee break I come out and we get into a fight where he basically tells me that it's useless what I do for a living. I get mad and go back to work. Bf comes on again to apologize WHILE I am trying to listen to a progress report that is essential to what I need to do. I mute the call and tell him to gtfo. He is all pouty. After work I come out and am already livid at that point. Bf wants to start the fight all over again and I tell him that I need time to cool down if we want to have a discussion and not a fight. He tells me we should settle things then and there. I say not of you don't want me to get nasty. I leave to our roommates room who is currently back home. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday at 10 pm. He called me an asshole this morning for giving him a childish silent treatment.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA at all.  It’s nice to have some intimacy but he needs to recognise that it is not at all appropriate when you’re in a meeting or at work.   Your partner is immature. ######


Prompt: So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a "micro influencer" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. "Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind." That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######

Response: NTA at all.  Fake internet points is not real concern. ######


Prompt:
My 14 year old niece loves to sing. She isn’t going to be the next America idol or anything, but she isn’t under the illusion that she is, she just has a lot of fun performing for the family and making videos on YouTube.

I’ve always encouraged her, (by watching and commenting on the videos, asking her to sing for us when I’m over, etc.) because it was a chance for her to be create and outgoing and have fun.

Lately her parents have been hounding me to stop encouraging her. They say it’s not a good use of her time if she isn’t going to take it seriously and since she doesn’t have the capacity to become any kind of great performer, that she should really be focusing her time on other things.

That’s their prerogative at home how they want to do it, but I didn’t feel right suddenly stopping asking her to sing for us or stopping interacting with her videos.

Her parents are now royally pissed at me and my brother says I’m an asshole for ignoring such specific instructions. Am I the asshole? Or do I just have a difference of opinion? ######

Response: NTA AT ALL.  Don't listen to them.  Why would they think that it would be a good idea to try and make their daughter stop pursuing her interests?  If she enjoys it, she enjoys it.  If she's having fun, she's having fun.  Tell them to fucking listen to themselves.. ######


Prompt: My dad forced me (age 15 male) into the dual enrollment program at only 15 (if you don’t know what that is, it’s where you go to college and high school at the same time). I have gone to the same small town private school with about 100 students since kindergarten. I’ve never had to try at this school. Everyone gets all As. The curriculum is super easy and everything is pretty much busy work. My dad thinks I’m a super genius and holds me up to crazy standards even though I’ve never really had to try in my whole school career. But college is a whole different world. I worked my ass off and I’m talking about I seriously worked my ass off to get an 87 in a class full of 20 year olds and I just turned 15. My dad learns about this and he absolutely flips. Yelling at me about how I’m going to be a failure in life and that he’s grounding me for the whole summer and how I’m a disappointment and a disgrace to the family. He told me if I didn’t make all As I would never be accepted to a college after high school. This has been going on for a week now. He’s been emailing all my high school teachers and apologizing for my “laziness” and “irresponsibleness” and that he will “discipline me accordingly” even though I make all As in high school. I lashed out on him and told him he can’t speak and told him he was a failure himself because of all of his failed marriages, his kids that he has never even met, the fact he can’t keep a job just to name a few. And now my grandparents and my dad have been pissed of at me for a week now and I don’t know what to do. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all.   Your father is wrong to yell at you like that and he's setting you up for some serious emotional damage.

My folks are from India and came over in 1960. I was always made to get A's in math and science. My father would scream at me too.  Finally in college, I binge drank.  Decade later we had a decent relationship, but back then I avoided him.

 " He told me if I didn’t make all As I would never be accepted to a college after high school. This has been going on for a week now. "

He's WRONG.  Your grandparents are wrong. Your dad is wrong.  I wish I could tell you how to make it so they don't judge you based on some stupid metrics that make no sense.

You are 100% not the asshole for standing up for yourself and calling him out. Best of luck to you. You are intelligent, as well as emotionally aware enough to post this here. I hope you get away from this kind of emotional abuse soon, but until then internalize how incredible it is that you are doing so well under these circumstances. ######


Prompt:
Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them.

The reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match.

Of course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc.

When I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding.

Some friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.

Edit: Clarity ######

Response: NTA at all! Your wedding, your choice! Congrats OP! ######


Prompt:
On mobile.

I have a tumultuous relationship with my parents at best. My mother is an emotionally abusive asshole and she does just about anything to control everyone in her life. As such, I’m afforded no privacy in my house whatsoever, even though I’m 20 years old and only home because the labs at my university got shut down.

When my mother gets mad at something I do, she storms into my room and begins yelling at me. I’ll ask her to leave, and she’ll proclaim that it’s her house, and therefore she can be anywhere in it at all. My dad isn’t nearly as bad, but if the door is slightly ajar he’ll just walk into my room, which really makes me uncomfortable because I’m often naked in my own room.

Recently, my dad said in anger that if I really wanted privacy, he should just charge me rent. I smiled and nodded. “Please charge me rent. Draw up a contract. I’ll sign it and pay, and you’ll be legally required to stay out of my room.”

AITA for going along with/suggesting I pay rent? ######

Response: NTA at all! This is actually a solution my therapist proposed to me with my own parents. Often introducing money can help parents stop viewing you as a kid and start viewing you as an adult ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons.
I thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift.
I talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move.

She got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ######

Response: NTA at all! I'm hispanic and I think it's such an incredibly sweet gesture you're doing. I have family friends who's parents don't speak anything but Spanish. They are always touched when someone makes the effort to speak to them. It is in no way trying too hard or insensitive. Can I ask the friend who made the comment and the one who would be translating, they are 2 different people right? Is the one who made the comment Hispanic? ######


Prompt:
A friend of mine contracted genital herpes from unprotected sex. She has done nothing to treat the infection and continues to have unprotected sex with people and sex work clients (she's an escort) and not disclose her STD status. When I encouraged her to seek treatment, use protection, and be upfront with partners about her status, she said something along the lines of, "If I have to suffer I want to make sure I can make as many other people suffer with me," implying that she was purposefully spreading her herpes to her unsuspecting partners. I decided to warn some of the people I knew she was interested in sleeping with that she had an incurable STD and was doing nothing to prevent transmission to other people. I also warned our local sex work community (I used to be a sex worker and now do community outreach for at-risk sex workers) that she was purposefully spreading herpes to clients and that the community needed to make sure they were staying safe, though I didn't use her real (legal) name, just the name she used for sex work when reaching out.

Well, she found out I wanted people and won't talk to me, which is understandable. But I'm getting some hate from a few of my friends and (former) sw community members for disclosing her STD status. I never would have disclosed it had she not said she was trying to make others suffer by spreading it and was taking necessary precautions to prevent transmission to others. I didn't want to see others hurt irreparably by her actions but can't help but feel bad for disclosing private medical information. So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all!

All you're trying to do is to keep the community safe. If anything, they should be thanking you.

Yeah it's a sensitive subject, but her owning up that she's purposely keeping it secret only so she can infect as many people is beyond a dickmove.

You did good OP. ######


Prompt:
I (17f) refused to babysit my uncles (41m) three children (7m, 6m, 3f)

Background: my beloved horse died a couple of days ago and I’m not in a good place mentally due to this. I’m working in a veterinary clinic to save money for a Uni (vet school) and work is the only way to get my mind off my horse.

My uncle makes me uncomfortable with some inappropriate ‘jokes’ mainly based on my gender. (As im career driven and don’t want children) he’s heavily Christian and I’m not it (I’m Atheist) makes it awkward for the family. We never talk maybe once a year at Christmas but that’s usually it.

He called me up and demanded that I take his children and babysit (for free) as he had to go shopping. I was literally in the car park of work and couldn’t call in sick (it was very busy that day, lots of appointments) he wanted me to take them to my house and look after him (45min drive from my house to theirs) I live on a farm it’s too dangerous for children, as well they are rough with my dog, which I don’t appreciate and I have confronted them about it.

I told him I couldn’t I was working and it would be busy. I could take them another day but not now, I was working. He got mad and told me off, mainly about how I wouldn’t be a good mother and I wouldn’t fulfil my duty blah blah blah. I had enough and told him I didn’t like the inappropriate jokes and misogyny that he subjects me to. Then told him that I hope his kids don’t grow up to be as hateful like him and to never contact me again.

My family is telling me I crossed a line but he never did! I feel like it was the other way round? AITA? ######

Response: NTA at all!  Good on you for standing up for yourself!  It definitely is the other way around.  Your uncle is a creep and entitled for demanding free babysitting with zero warning!  Continue standing up for yourself and cut that jerk out of your life with a clear conscience.  And stand up to the rest of your family and ask if they really approve of how he treated you. ######


Prompt:
My grandmother has never been an active participant in my life, she’s never even been a passive participant. I never spent time with her, I never saw her. I always asked to see her because all my friends as kids talked about how amazing their grandparents were and I couldn’t say the same. She was never there. So as far as I see it I’ve never had a grandma

Recently my grandma has been sorting out her will, Nan asked my mum if she’d be happy splitting some of their inheritance to give me and my brothers some.

I said that because she spent so long avoiding me my entire life I want nothing from her. She took my niece and two nephews on expensive ass skiing holidays, presents, money at Christmas and birthdays. Presents for passing exams and doing things worth celebrating. She paid for every big school trip for my niece and nephews.

Where as she gave me and my brothers a multi bag of haribos once a week for a year and nothing else. Personally she has done nothing for me, she hasn’t been present in my life whatsoever.

My gran is giving my niece and nephews £12,000 each as well as her house in her will. My auntie, their mum, is getting £50,000. My mum is getting £10,000 while me and my brothers are getting £1,000 each.

So I said “I don’t want the money. My Nan has had such an insignificant impact on my life that I’d just rather not have the money because it would feel wrong accepting money from someone I don’t know” My mother told my grandma what I said.

I haven’t been told the details. But apparently there was a lot of vulgar language thrown my way and that I’m incredibly disrespectful

It’s not about the money. Or at least I don’t think it is. It’s not about how much or how little I’d be getting. I just don’t know her so I don’t want anything from her ######

Response: NTA at all, you're not obligated to take anything from someone who's essentially a stranger. Just curious though, do you know why she never met you guys? Why wouldn't your mom push for her to meet her grandkids? ######


Prompt:
So as far as I’m concerned this is 100% gross... but another person told me that it’s nothing and I would be rude to bring it up to my roommate.

My roommate - every month - leaves her pads wide open, laying face up on top of the trash. I’m talking fully used, bloody pads. Face up. I wouldn’t care if someone just did this in their own private bathroom, but this is a bathroom that our guests use when we have them over, and it’s clear that my roommate never tries to fold the pads up or tuck them in the side of the trash. It’s honestly startling to walk in to the bathroom and see that everyday for a week, lol. And it’s just plain embarrassing when I notice it after our guests have already used the bathroom. Plus it smells sometimes.

(Btw the trash has no lid and you’re pretty much looking right at it when you walk in, it’s not under a sink or anything.)

I have 3 other roommates and some of them feel similarly, but a couple other people I asked said to ignore it and not get so worked up about it. I’m really tempted to bring this up to her, but I’m a guy. Is it inappropriate for me to say something to her about it? It really needs to stop. I grew up in a house full of girls and this never happened, the pads were always wrapped up in the trash. But I also don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up to her, or how I would even bring it up. AITA? ######

Response: NTA at all, that’s gross and unsanitary. I’m a woman and I would never do that. Most pads come in a wrapper DESIGNED to hold the new clean pad and then wrap around the used one for disposal, there’s literally instructions on boxes. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not wanting to my brother to move in with me?

I (f24) rent a house from my parents with my husband and my daughter(6 years old) my brother(26years old) is being discharged from the navy for some mental issues (extreme depression and substance abuse issues) we have an extra room in our house that my parents offered to him without talking to me.
 The reason I dont want him here is because I was abused by him for a long time as a child, I have just started going to therapy to finally face that trauma since nothing was ever done for me as a child when I finally told my parents. My parents didn’t even let me put a lock on my door since he’d usually come in while I was sleeping I thought it was a reasonably measure. My dad still claims he was never told until I was an adult. I dont want my brother around my daughter and I dont want to be around him while I am finally working on dealing with this.
AITA if I tell him and my parents that I dont want him here? ######

Response: NTA at all, I’m proud you’re going to therapy, keep that abuser out of your life. He’s no longer your brother, he’s your abuser. ######


Prompt:
I don't live in America, so tipping culture doesn't exist here. There are many reasons for this but the biggest would be that our minimum wage isn't ridiculously low like in America.

I'm a part-time worker who isn't a frivolous person, but today I received a promotion in the mail by Uber Eats for $15 off your first spend (I wouldn't have ordered otherwise). As normally, it's $20 +$10 delivery. But with this voucher code, it was a much more reasonable $15. So I lashed out and treated myself.

Anyway, long story short. The driver got the wrong house and didn't bother to verify anyone by name. He just handed it over to my next-door neighbour. It wasn't until I called up that I found this out. Generally, most take-outs would offer some compensation over such a gaffe. Now I'm not saying I expected one but I did observe that Uber Eats seems quite unique in this. But they ended up assigning me the same driver (which is perfectly fine).

When he arrived I had to stand outside my house and flag him down so he didn't miss me. And then he came up to me and said in the little English he knew, *''App yes?...''*. And smiled at me. I didn't know what he meant but it seemed pretty straightforward so I just nodded and said yes (I assumed he was asking for some kind of review as I think Uber does that). Which I was more than happy to do. So I smile and nodded. And then he said, *''Don't forget nice tip yes yes''*.

And now I'm kind of at a loss. I now feel guilty because I know the man wants a tip. But I also only did this because of the promotion. And I'm also shocked by the audacity of him out-right asking for a tip... But I don't know. I guess I'll just leave it with you guys.

Am I an asshole if I don't tip this man? ######

Response: NTA at all, I’m also Australian and I feel like a lot of people responding don’t really get that tipping is basically not a thing here, except for some specific circumstances. I personally will tip my delivery drivers and whatnot if they do a good job and are friendly and nice, but this guy already messed up your order so definitely no need to tip. ######


Prompt:
So my mom and I share my YouTube account on our TV. However, I find it rather annoying and would prefer to keep it all to myself. Not because I have anything to hide, but it's just nice to me. It's nice not to have your recommendations butchered by other people's viewing habits, it's nice not to have your watch history clogged up by things somebody else has watched, and it's just nice to have something of your own, you know?

I told her I could *easily* set up her own profile in 5 minutes where she can watch whatever she want whenever she wants on her *own* account. She refused, though, because apparently that's "too much of a hassle" and "oh, you want to take away the last thing that we have together?" (which is both bullshit, by the way), and after an entire argument she finally decided to "let me set up her account on the 1st of August"

Now, I am wondering, am I the asshole for requesting that she stops using my account, and that I'll help her get her own account, instead? We came to a compromise I *guess*, and of course it is not the end of the world if we share an account but she kept insisting I am being cruel and rude for this. ######

Response: NTA at all, and you're not obligated to do this, but maybe find something to do together instead? Just to 'soften the blow' of the account. ######


Prompt:
I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second.

So me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.

Now fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude?

Like I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######

Response: NTA at all, and its good this tendency to make decisions on your behalf was revealed before you were living together. Consider this a bullet dodged and move on. ######


Prompt:
My parents are divorced. They've really been fighting a lot, and they fight a lot about material possessions.

Try and one up each other getting me things, but also try to force me to leave them behind when I go to the other's houses, like they want their houses to be the best ones with the best things. Argue if I come home from the others house with things dirty or misplaced accusing the other of purposely stealing or destroying things.

It's ridiculous and it seems like a power play between them. And I'm sick of fighting over THINGS. Damn pieces of plastic or metal or whatever should not have this power over us.

So I told both my parents that THINGS that they fight about don't bring me happiness, they bring me sadness. And if there's any fighting or petty anger about a thing, I'm gonna give it away or throw it away because I'm sick of my life being ruled by stuff.

I won't take gifts anymore because they always come with terms and drama

And I have been doing it. I've gotten rid of most of what I own because of this pettiness. I really just have the bare minimum at each house. Both my parents had banned me from giving or throwing anything else away so now I've just picked a closet in each house that things go into, and once they're in they don't come out. If my parents try and take them out I put them back.

It's made me happier. No more fights about which parent "stole" a thing when that thing is gone. I don't have to remember as much about what I can take from house to house and what has to stay at one house so I won't start a fight

But both my parents are resentful of me for my switch in attitude. My mom is mad that I don't do some of my hobbies anymore and my dad is mad that I gave away things that he paid for.

AITA for giving up as many possessions as I can? ######

Response:
 NTA at all, and I'm so sorry that your parents are using you as a weapon against each other.

They absolutely need to figure their issues out without taking them out on you. Are they or you in counseling? ######


Prompt:
I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.

I disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.

I scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA at all fuck these time traveling bozos ! How is anyone supposed to change if the fucking world won’t let them!?! ######


Prompt:
So I (26M) ate something bad last night and had to spend a majority of the evening and this morning in the bathroom because I was sick. My girlfriend (24F) came and stayed over this weekend because it had been a while since we saw each other. As I mentioned above I had to spend a majority of the morning in the bathroom because I literally cant stop going, my insides feel like they are tearing each other apart. She decided to leave earlier than planned because "she was bored" and was just "sitting around with her thumb up her ass" while I was having an exorcism out of mine. Now shes angry at me because of that and because she felt bored when I was feeling sick and had to stay in the bathroom. AITA for not sucking it up and spending time with her?

Tl;dr Girlfriend left early because she was "bored" because I had to spend the morning in the bathroom due to eating something bad. ######

Response: Nta at all but when someone shows you who they are believe them! ######


Prompt:
Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside.

Last night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort.

When I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid.

I grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read:

“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”.

They ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox.

Am I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash.

For clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######

Response: NTA at all and those people are trash. Plain and simple. ######


Prompt:
I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates.  This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.

&#x200B;

My girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week.  The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift.  She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage.  This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.

&#x200B;

When I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home.  Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out.  This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant.  The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself.  She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay.  The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.

&#x200B;

Before I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin.  Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight.  During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could.  They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.

&#x200B;

We've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year.  She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible.  If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless.  She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.

&#x200B;

I think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all - she wants you to pay for rent when you're not there just so she can live above her means? Oh hell no

Also, beautiful formatting - thank you ######


Prompt:
So I’m an eighteen year old girl and deathly single, so I have absolutely zero intention of marriage anytime soon but I ended up talking to my dad about marriage anyway a few days ago. He ends up saying something along the lines of “They’ll have to be good enough for me to give permission,”

Let me assure you, I didn’t flip out or anything here but my reply was “I’d hope my future spouse would know well enough that I don’t want them to ask your permission. I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions and I’m not to be bartered away like a farm animal in an outdated, sexist tradition.” I also mentioned that I certainly won’t be ‘given away’ at my wedding either, because again, I’m not property.

Well, he totally flipped out. He said that it’s not sexist and he raised me my whole life he deserves to take part in these traditions because it’s his right as a father. I told him that I do want him to be a part of my future wedding, but not in the traditional sexist ways. Should I just suck it up and go through with the traditions that repulse me for his sake, or am I right to reject them?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all - it can be a fun tradition, as long as everyone involved agrees but demanding it is just wrong.

Does he also expect you to ask your partner's father for approval or will this be settled by a duel? ######


Prompt:
So my mom remarried when i was 12 although my step father is okay but he has his moments and my mom fully enables him . They have a son now who is three.

My step father turned vegan 6 months ago and so is my mom now. I used to think that i dont like vegan food and is not for me and because i started a job with the help of my friend's dad in the country club, i make a decent amount of money for 16 year old.

 When they turned vegan i started getting my own food. I pretty much started to feed myself and also started saving. I used to get take out alot and stopped eating with them because i genuinely don't like being around them.

My step father turned pretty nasty when he saw i had started earning and asked for rent. My mom shut that down thank god because the house belongs to my late father and I will fully own it once i turn 18. So he can't charge me rent i pointed out that since this house is still technically in my name shouldn't he be the one paying rent to me. He lost it. Started berating me and forbade me to ever eat meat in the house. My mom told me to just do what he says in fear of this turning ugly.

So i started eating the vegan food with them and actually enjoyed and i could save a lot by eating at home too. This has caused problem with the step father because now they have to feed me too so he said that he's sure i have learned my lesson and i can start eating whatever i want since that would mean they won't have to pay for it. I told them that i actually liked eating vegan and won't be touching meat now.

Well he started yelling about how i am selfish when i can afford it and not doing it , my mom is also taking his side but she said she won't stop me from eating vegan food with them but i should really think this

So reddit aita? ######

Response: NTA At 16 your parents should be paying for all necessities for you, including home and food, even if you have a job. Your dad sounds like a bully and your mom a pushover. ######


Prompt:
In typical Asian parenting fashion, my mother has always expected me to spend my entire life with her and support her when she gets older.  It wasn't until my senior year of high school when I was applying for college that I finally stood up for myself.  Soon as she found out that I wanted to live on campus, she started yelling and crying about how ungrateful I am and how much she loved me.  Unfortunately, I couldn't handle it and caved in.  So I commuted for all 4 years of college.

I worked really hard in school so I could get a job after graduating and finally move out.  But my junior year, my father got very sick and passed away.  We had to sell our house and move into an apartment.  My mom had not had a job for like 10 years so she was really struggling to support us and we had to live on the money we made from the house.

After graduating, I got an internship about 3 hours away and surprisingly she supported me in moving into temporary housing for the summer.  Soon as the internship ended, I got a job.  My cousin and I started talking about moving in together since she was also looking to leave her home.

My mom started yelling and crying again and she said some really horrible things to me that I don't want to mention. I caved again and agreed to live with her for a few months to help her get settled.

It's been almost 8 months and she still doesn't have a job and her money is running out.  I feel really guilty for wanting to leave her like this but I also just want live my life. ######

Response: NTA Asian here and went through the same thing with my mom. What I realized now is that I definitely could have moved out 10 years ago right after college because my parents definitely not need me then. But I was guilted into believing that they did so I stayed. But 10 years later (now) they actually do need me so I’m angry at myself for not moving out when I had the chance. So learn from my mistake, OP. Whenever Asian parents say that they can’t live without you, don’t believe them. They actually can if they’re in their 50s and early 60s. If they survived war and poverty in their home country and immigrated to this racist AF country and somehow make it, they can definitely live without you for a good decade. Rule of thumb: you don’t need to be with your parents until they’re close to being in their 70s. ######


Prompt:
Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman.

I eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA as long as you weren’t doing stupid/harmful things dressed like that go for it! Cosplay is for everyone of all sizes and genders. That’s like saying I can’t cosplay as a zombie because I’m not a zombie. The whole point of cosplay is to dress up as something/someone you’re not. Keep up the great work! ######


Prompt:
My brother moved in with us (me,wife,7 yr old) in mid January. He's just turned 20 a few days ago. He was in a bad situation and we agreed he could stay till he starts university in September. Doesn't cost us much extra for him to be here, mortgage, internet, water are all a fixed charge. So told him he would have to pay gas/electric when the quarterly bill arrived he can pay the difference. We've fed him until recently so it's cost him £0 for groceries since mid Jan. Since then we have obviously had the virus and at the start he went to his sister's for dinner and I told him it's not acceptable to us to risk our daughters health (she has a undiagnosed epilepsy and is on disabled register) and he has to either be sensible and isolate as much as is possible or move out. He recently started a job, even though he's currently getting furlough (around £180 a month but he literally lives for free) and since starting the job he's been out to "have a kick around" with his 1 work colleague he works with. Today, he hasn't come home and messaged to say he's at his work mates house having a few beers.

Tomorrow, he's getting told to leave and I'll be giving him his immediately needed stuff and I'll drop the rest off when I can.

I don't know if he will have anywhere to go, but I'm not risking my 7yo for him.

Am I being overly cautious? We have a very low infection rate, around 100 known cases in 60,000 ######

Response: NTA as long as you gave him multiple warnings ######


Prompt: Alright so, my vegan cousins are visiting from California in June, and before you object, we live on a rural farm and they're following all hygiene protocols when traveling so virus transmission is slim to none. But anyway, since we live on a farm, there's a lake on the land we own and I like to go fishing there every once in a while. Now, I've told them this so they know, but they've said stuff like, "If you fish, we're not coming", and "You abuse fish by fishing". The thing is, I stop after I catch one fish, and I only do it like 3 times a week, so it's not like I'm poaching an elephant every day. So yeah, AITA for fishing while they're here? ######

Response:
 NTA As long as you don’t try to make them fish or make them eat the fish.

How long will they be there?  If it’s a short trip, you could voluntarily skip fishing for a while in the name of family harmony and being a good host. ######


Prompt:
I'm an Atheist, only my mother knows this and she hates talking about anything surrounding beliefs or her own, especially since I came out about my beliefs. She keeps her feelings about my beliefs tucked down deep.

Anyhow for context my grandmother is extremely religious, she's very much your typical old age thinking person.

Me and my mother were talking about a conversation i had with my father where he asked if I was fasting this Ramadan and I said no.

After that she told me not to tell my uncle I'm not fasting if he calls me since he lives with his mother (my grandmother) who he would likely tell since it would bother her.

I said no I'm not lying, you know me and who I am, if my grandmother can't handle the fact that I'm not fasting then so be it, that's her problem not mine.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA as long as you don’t bring it up unprompted, because this will cause some conflict. But if he asks, you would not be TA if you answered truthfully imo. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”

Having heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)

As we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.

She told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.

They knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA as long as it’s ultimately his decision not to have his dad there and not just yours. Also you need to be ok with the outcome being that most likely his dad will no longer be any part of his life since this is basically a message saying we don’t want you in our lives.
But if that is ok and you will be happier with him no longer around then I guess go for it and continue your lives without his negativity. ######


Prompt: I (17M) have lived with a severely autistic brother (18) for my entire life. He is nonverbal, self-injurious, aggressive, and needs a full time caretaker (currently my mother). My parents chose to become his legal guardians when he turned 18, and don’t seem to be considering grouphomes. They told me that I will eventually have to take him off their hands because they will be too old and frail to take care of him. I refused, saying that he is not my responsibility and they should start looking for a suitable grouphome to place him in because I’m not going to waste my life being a caretaker and wiping shit off someone’s ass. My parents got offended and said that caring for my brother would not be a waste, and I’m just being selfish. They later asked if I would at least be his advocate and communicate with a future grouphome and his doctors to make sure he is being treated correctly. I also said no, knowing that it would escalate into more responsibilities for me and that I do not want to be associated with him at all. They told me to give up my dream of becoming a doctor if I can’t even care for my family and that my grades are too low to be accepted anyways so I may as well be looking out for him. I have bipolar disorder myself and am super irresponsible even with the things that I care deeply about. I can’t stand my brother at all. He drives everyone in this house crazy with his aggression, and it’s honestly insulting that my parents think they can just throw that responsibility on ME. They call me an asshole for not loving him and not wanting to release them from this burden. I work at a fast food restaurant and make more money than my mom does for attendant care. Even if reddit labels me as the asshole here, I am not going to be taking care of him. ######

Response:
 NTA as harsh as your words are it's not your responsibility and you have to live your own life. It's a HUGE responsibility and even if you were 100% up for it at the get go it would be extremely difficult. It sucks that he's disabled it really does but it shouldn't be a life sentence for you too.

I'll probably be in the minority here so SMASH THAT DOWN VOTE BUTTON ! ######


Prompt:
I was married to Jason for thirteen years and we shared two children, Hannah is twelve and Noah is nine. Our marriage ended rather abruptly but it didn’t come as a big surprise. We hadn’t been happy for years.

Jason began dating Emily who is fifteen years his junior shortly after the divorce. They’ve been married now for three years and she’s thirty so it’s not like he married some college kid but I still have an issue with her lack of maturity sometimes.

This was all very hard on Hannah. She doesn’t like Emily and is in counseling to deal with her jealousy towards her. The truth is I don’t like Emily very much either but I do expect my kids to be respectful.

Hannah came to me crying last night and told me that when she was at her dads this weekend she put Emily’s toothbrush in the toilet. I guess Jason found her doing this and he said it was really funny and to let him see the toothbrush. He scrubbed the toilet and I guess she thought they were going to prank Emily together but when he was done he told Hannah to brush her teeth with it.

Now I fully understand how wrong Hannah was but I can’t get the image of her crying and gagging while being forced to use the toothbrush out of my head. He then made her tell Emily what she had done and do chores to earn money to buy a new toothbrush. I’m fine with that but actually making her out it in her mouth pissed me off.

I’ll admit I don’t know if this was all about Hannah. Jason’s been a different person since he met Emily and it’s hard to watch him fawn over his gorgeous thirty year old wife. I called at one in the morning and I could tell I woke him and I went off on him. I told him how selfish he is and how he puts Emily before our kids. Still I feel like some of this was motivated by my own feelings so AITA? ######

Response: NTA As a mandated reporter, I promise you that this punishment was abusive. If I were to actually know you or your child I'd have a legal and moral obligation to report it. This was so over the line. I think in the future that family counseling with Hannah and Emily may be worthwhile to try, separate from both parents. I'm so sorry that your ex thought this was an appropriate thing to do. As a parent myself, I'd also be overwhelmingly furious if that happened to my child. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.

My sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine.

Today my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.

After dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.

I told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA as a fellow eating disorder sufferer, I can sympathize with your sister and I hope she continues to get better physically. But theres a huge line shes crossing there. I understand it probably hurt but as a lot of other people have said shes not going to be able to live her life avoiding her triggers entirely. ######


Prompt:
I recently moved in with my boyfriend, he is 6ft or taller while I'm 5'1, since I moved into his place everything is arranged to the way he likes, everything necessary is on the top shelf in the kitchen.

I took catering which means I am the better cook out of the two of us (although he cooks the best cookies) which means I'm the one in the kitchen but a majority of the time I need something I have to either climb on a chair or the sides to get the stuff out of the cupboard, I've slipped several times now thanks to our dog jumping up.

I absolutely hate doing this.

I've talked to him about rearranging and he's always put it off.

I rearranged it since I'm the one who does the cooking it shouldn't be a problem? I mean I've lived here for 8 months now and the only thing that's mine in the flat is like a candle and he hates it so its never lit.

He threw a tantrum and told me I shouldn't have rearranged his things and how out of order it was etc, how he had it set up the way he liked and it's been that way for 4 years.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA Are you sure he really wants you to live there? ######


Prompt: Okay so I know the title sounds like I am the asshole here but hear me out. I have a walk in closet attached to my bathroom you have to go in the bathroom to get to the closet. Currently I moved my work stuff in the walk in (its HUGE) because I needed space I can work in quiet and the area has to be able to lock.  I don't mind being attached to the bathroom most of the time, its our master bathroom so no one really uses it but us. We do have another bathroom across the apartment that is perfectly usable. My boyfriend thinks I am ridiculous that when I am working I ask him to not poop in the bathroom ATTACHED TO THE CLOSET WHERE I HAVE TO WORK. Its not a big deal to go across the apartment and poop in the other one but it causes this BIG thing every time. A few minutes ago he goes to poop in the bathroom again and I reiterate that I don't want to work and have to sniff his shit the whole time and he tells me I am making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I told him it was a big deal to me and I don't understand why he has to be selfish about it and not just use the other bathroom. He walked away this time shutting both doors and not pooping but I know he's mad I called him selfish about it. As ridiculous as this is, Reddit am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA are you secretly talking about a cat here?  This sounds like a litter box issue, because I can’t understand why a human would want to poop in the room directly next to you when there is another bathroom available. ######


Prompt:
My friend and l(both 18f) we were always a bit on the heavier side. We would get teased at school but it was nothing malicious. She would always take offence so l asked my classmates to stop it when she was around and they did.

All was well until graduation ( last year) when the girls of the class thought we should arrange a beach holiday for us girls. When we were alone(my friend and l)I joked that we should start getting beach body ready. She took the joke seriously and agreed.

So when 2020 started l changed up my diet and started exercising. The progress was slow but steady but it was paying off. Then when lockdown was in place l started up the old xbox 360 and continued with the routine. I am not at my goal but l am getting there.

Anyways, I was feeling proud of my progress so l put on my status how l may be beach body ready even though we aren't going to the beach.  She sees this and gets mad.

She says l have betrayed her and we agreed to do this together and accused me of hating my body etc things of that nature.

I felt guilty about not informing her but I thought l am not in the wrong.

Reddit, do you agree? ######

Response: NTA anyone waiting for someone else to start before they do something is looking for an excuse not to start. She could have taken the initiative at any point in her life to make the jump to becoming what she claims she wants to be. She's mad that you actually took the steps and are progressing. It makes her look bad because now she's alone in the bigger side of weight. Now instead of trying to better herself she's trying to tear you down because it's easier than having to do the work. If she can't get over it then you can move on with your life. You don't need people like that in your life. ######


Prompt:
This has been bothering me for a while now,

But in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife.

And another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.

He is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.

Most people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

So I’m not sure ######

Response:
 NTA and

>genetics were inferior

Eugenics went the way of the DoDo in 1945. ######


Prompt: So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, "Because I'm the parent and I say so." Because of this, I don't like telling them anything anymore. I always hide everything because I'm afraid they're gonna force their way into knowing. Recently, I told my dad about a girl I was talking because he didn't force his way into my secrets as much as my mom. When my mom caught word about something between us, she once again asked about it and got pissed off when I told her it was just between me and my dad. She said that my business is her business. This is one of the few times she doesn't force her way in because I already told my dad. I told her that I'm not going to tell her and my mom keeps getting pissed off that I'm not telling my safe guarded secrets. AITA for doing this? ######

Response: NTA and your parent's behavior  is super inappropriate and damaging. ######


Prompt: I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######

Response: NTA and your friends suck too ######