Prompt:
About a month ago a stray cat showed up on my doorstep. She had no identification or microchip. I took her in, fed her, named her Bertha, but I was also actively looking for her owners. I don't have the ability to permanently take care of another pet, but I wanted to do the right thing and make sure she had the best chance of having a good life.

Eventually I found the owner and returned the cat. I missed Bertha but was glad she was back with her owner.

Well Bertha has been back at my door every day since then, meowing for hours until I let her back in. I contacted the owner again and asked her to keep the cat inside. The owner responded that her husband died about a month ago, she's trying to take of her 3 kids during this lockdown, and that Bertha is an indoor outdoor cat. I understand that this must be a hard time for the owner, and I'm giving them slack for not knowing the cat was missing for a month, but at this point they're neglecting her to the point that she doesnt want to go back to them. She's also been reported at all my other neighbor's houses too.

AITA for coming to the conclusion that I have to send the cat to a shelter? I would never want to hurt her, but she's being neglected, and she could possibly be a transmitter of the coronavirus if shes bouncing from house to house all over our neighborhood. ######

Response:
 YTA.
First, of course the cat came back. You fed her.
Second, you can't take another person's pet and give to a shelter. How do you even get this idea?
You can contact animal protection services and they can come and see if the cat is really neglected, which maybe isn't even the case as cats like to roam around and beg for as much food as they can even when they're properly fed at home. ######


Prompt:
I can't believe this trivial issue has exploded into a huge right but here goes. I've been cooking at home almost every meal for the last month. Cooking makes a lot of dishes. I have told my boyfriend several times that he needs to do the dishes since I'm coming the food. Ordering out isn't an option and we need to eat so he needs to share the burden even though he can't cook.

Well earlier today I actually saw my boyfriend doing the dishes after I made lunch. Instinctively I thanked him for doing the dishes but then I remembered that is his responsibility and reminded him of how unfair it was to me for him not to do the dishes every day. I told him I take back my thanks and he should be doing more without me asking.

My boyfriend is now very upset at me and insists that I need to stop "nagging" (typical...) him while he's doing housework but if he was doing it regularly from the start I wouldn't have had to say anything. Am  the asshole? ######

Response:
 YTA.
At first I was on your side when I saw the title. However, after reading the post and seeing your whole "taking back my thank you", you're seriously TA.
While you don't NEED to thank someone for doing their task, telling them you appreciate it and then pulling what you did is totally immature and I can only imagine how your boyfriend must have felt when you said that. ######


Prompt:
So my fiancée hates her parents. They were awful people who ended up getting her kicked out of a prestigious university by having her arrested (charges were dropped but the university still wouldn't accept her readmission).

I don't think they're good people but they've recently been trying to make amends but my fiancée won't answer the phone or agree to visit them and they don't want to show up unannounced.

So I've been taking the calls and trying not to completely burn that bridge. Her parents have money and they seem to genuinely want to make amends. They're willing to take culpability and try and let the past be the past.

Me being the eternal softy that I am tries to see the best in everyone so I'm a little biased but it's not like they just want to say they've changed. They've made consistent effort to reach out and apologise and are understanding of why she won't answer their calls.

Anyways our daughter (12) was recently diagnosed with leukemia and we have a lot of medical bills piling up along with student debt and the mortgage. Couple all of that with us both being out of work and not getting enough from unemployment to pay for half of our bills even it's been a difficult time.

So I went to her parents and told them we could use their help. They told me not to worry about a dime and are paying for all of our daughters medical care and have sent us food from one of those meal service plans.

I decided to tell my fiancée that I went to her parents for the help and she freaked out. She wanted me to decline the help! I told her I couldn't do that and if she wanted to tell her parents to stop helping us she had to do that herself because I wouldn't.

I've never seen her more pissed off before in her life and we've been together for 14 years. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Your wife knows her parents have money. She didn't ask them for it because that money comes with strings attached: giving the people who abused her access to her and her child. For her, that risk isn't worth it because it endangers everything, and so she holds them at a distance.

You just sold the security of that separation out from under her. ######


Prompt:
Disclaimer: This happened last February. My colleagues have been giving me shit for it ever since.

I am a High School English teacher. Last February, I was teaching mythology. During the test on the subject matter, I caught a student peeking off another student's paper. I took the test from him and he got an automatic "0."

After I taught mythology, we moved on to *The Catcher in the Rye*. I decided to give the class an extra incentive, and for voluntary extra credit, have them write an essay on why *The 39 Steps* was Phoebe's favorite movie.

I saw said cheating student writing the assignment in his planner, to which I tell him "you are ineligible for this assignment."

He confronted me after class for telling him that he was ineligible for the assignment for two reasons:

1. He felt that because he got a "0" on an exam, he "needs the extra credit more than the other students."
2. He did not take kindly to me "humiliating" him in front of the whole class.

I was speaking to other teachers and my department head on the matter, and they thought I was in the wrong. I'm sorry, but if I allow him to take extra credit after he cheated on my exam, that would be giving the whole class the idea that it's ok to cheat on my exams, when it's not. My colleagues thought the "0" was "punishment enough" for cheating and that I didn't have to bar him from extra credit.

Sorry, but I disagree. I'm just trying to prepare him for the real world, especially university, where if he cheats in university, he could be expelled. In the real world, crimes and punishments are very rarely 1:1. ######

Response:
 YTA.

Your initial reaction was appropriate.

Your second punishment was vindictive. You did this because you wanted to further punish the student, not for any legitimate reason. That is mean, unfair, and inappropriate.

What kind of lesson does this teach this student? That someone with authority can use that authority in any way they want, for any reason. That is a horrible lesson you have just taught that student. ######


Prompt:
When I was 18 I got pregnant with my boyfriend at the time. He really pushed for an abortion but I had extremely strict parents who were against it, so I had her. She’s now 13,  beautiful and very popular. Her father isn’t in her life. I love her, it’s a given I love her, she’s my daughter.

I’ve never been an overly affectionate person, cuddling and verbally showing my daughter affection just isn’t something I feel comfortable doing, and I didn’t think it was much of an issue to her.

Last night at the dinner table, we somehow got onto the topic of affection. She opened up and told me that she was jealous of her friends families who were open with love and displayed lots of affection. She said she wanted to discuss the potential of telling each other we love each other and hugging and stuff. I told her that I don’t feel the need to tell her I love her, and that she should just know that I do because I’m her mom.

She got upset and went upstairs to her room, and I heard her on the phone to her best friend saying that she feels like I don’t love her. I talked to my parents about it and they told me an I’m asshole for not having at least a conversation with her about it. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Your daughter needs you to say three words to her, and give her an occasional hug. ######


Prompt:
I know I’m sorta in the wrong for making the bet in the first place, but let’s see.

My sister-in-law-to-be announced that she was pregnant two months ago. I was really suspicious about this. I’ve heard rumors of her faking a pregnancy before. Again, I didn’t blurt it out, but that’s what I thought. The timing was too perfect.

I told this to my brother, and we did make a bet. $100 to the person who was right.

It turns out that I was right. She admitted that she had faked her pregnancy, after multiple holes in her plan were exposed.

Their relationship is a bit rocky now, me thinks. So, should I ask him for a hundred bucks?

WIBTA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Your brother probably had really high hopes that he was gonna be a father and betted on it because he had a glimpse of hope that he was going to start his family. Not only did his dreams get crushed but he also realized his wife isn't in the greatest of mental states.

Don't ask him for the money. ######


Prompt: My husband and I just bought a house. It has a big extra room with its own bathroom. I told my sister that she could move into it, since she could use a leg up. When I mentioned this to my husband (btw it’s something we’ve discussed before) he said that he wanted to move his sister into it, because she needs a place closer to work. I don’t like his sister and plus I already told my sister that she would be moving in, so I said that it was sort of a done deal and I’d already discussed this before with him. He said very snidely, “well, at least my sister can actually pay for rent and food.” Which I kind of resent. He implied that since he paid for the down payment that he can make the final decision, as if this isn’t our house and our marriage and our life. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You’re mainly the asshole because you are hiding critical details in comments that you omitted from the original post.

Specifically:

1. The previous discussion was for an entirely different house that you did not buy. *That* discussion is not the same as agreeing for *this* house.

2. Your sister is disabled and unable to work. Therefore, you wouldn’t be helping her “get a leg up” (paraphrasing) as you said. That term insinuates it would be a short-term situation. You would actually be adding a long-term dependent, as evidenced by another comment about having your sister in the house while your future children grow up.

3. You’re also already planning to get a dang DOG for this sister, too!

Look, your husband was a jerk, but you absolutely crafted your post seeking validation rather than an objective judgement. ######


Prompt:
 I can’t believe I have to post this but this is getting out of control. Hopefully once I show him that 20+ people disagree with him he will apologize and understand that kids are kids and they will obviously make mistakes.

Yesterday, I went with my 2 children (lets call them Tom\[9M\] and Elise\[8F\]) to my brothers house. I haven’t seen him for a while so I decided to surprise him and come without announcing him. He opened the door and was so happy to see me. We entered and the kids went running to the iPad (we don’t have a tablet at home so they were really excited to get to play with it again) while I went with my brother in the living room. Tom and Elise started arguing because they didn’t want to play the same game. They started taking the iPad from each other hands which caused it to fall on the floor and crack. The crack was honestly not that bad and the tablet is still working fine. He however got mad at my children, started SCREAMING at them, and wants me to pay for his broken iPad. It’s really costly and I in no way can afford to fix it especially as a single mother. I told him ”They are kids, kids always do silly things. But you need to remember that they are children and there is no reason to get mad at them. Forgive them for what they did. Your iPad is still working fine.” I honestly got so disappointed in him that I straight up left with my kids. I told my parents and friends what happened and they are taking my side on this. He shouldn’t have screamed at my children and shouldn’t make me pay for it. The worst part is when he texted me that he is going to sue me if I refuse to repair his tablet. Hopefully showing him this post will change his mind because my parents couldn’t. ######

Response:
 YTA.

You’re kidding, right? While I don’t agree with your brother screaming, you **absolutely** owe your brother a repair or a replacement iPad. YOUR children broke his tablet while under YOUR supervision. It doesn’t get much more cut and dry than this. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend bought an outfit online. It’s a tube top and a short skirt. The tube top just covers her boobs and the skirt is short enough to where her ass hangs out. I think it’s really hot, but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable for her wearing it in public because I felt like it was too revealing. She told me she didn’t feel that way but she also just bought the outfit. I told her that I should have at least a small say in what she wears out in public because we’ve been dating for over a year but she thinks I’m trying to be controlling. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You wouldn't be TA if you said you don't like it and left it like that but you became TA when you said you have a say in what she wears because you guys been together for a while. She wears what she likes, you wear what you like. ######


Prompt:
I (F38) and my husband (M42) have 3 daughters. Jessica (14), Samantha (12) and Melissa (4.5).

Both my husband and I work, my youngest attends kindergarten and my daughters are in school.

Melissa is not reaching her milestones as quickly as her sisters. She's very bright, but she's still not fully potty trained (still uses nappies at night) and has trouble sleeping.

Melissa, for the past year and a half, has not been able to fall  asleep in a room on her own. We tried a night light but it didn't work. She would not sleep until she was too exhausted to stay awake any longer, and would be exhausted all day at daycare/kinder. Desperate for her to get sleep, my husband and I began staying in the room with her until she falls asleep. This can take anywhere from 45 minutes up to 1.5 hours.

At first it was just my husband and I, but about 8 months ago we started a system where we would involve our daughters, and everyone would alternate days. My daughters had commitments on Fridays and Saturdays respectively, so they would each stay on the night the other was out. This way my husband and I would have a chance to relax together occasionally after dinner.

My daughters have begun complaining that they don't want to stay in the room anymore. Because theres no armchair, and they can't make noise or read, they have to basically lay in a trundle bed next to her and pretend to sleep until Melissa falls asleep. Then they can leave.

They are complaining that this is boring and it's not their job to help Melissa sleep. I see it as like babysitting, which I never otherwise ask them to do for me.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You need to speak to y our daughter's pediatrician about her sleep issues.

But on top of that, it is *hugely* damaging to expect your other kids to help you parent. While this wouldn't be an issue once in a while, you cannot ask your daughters to routinely be involved in this. ######


Prompt:
I (17m) will be moving out soon to go to uni. My sister (12) has made jokes about how she can't wait for me to move out so she can have my room, which is substantially bigger than hers. I said she couldn't have it as I plan to stay with my family a lot and don't want to be kicked out of the room I grew up in. When I said this my mum got angry and said it was selfish but my dads on my side.

I wouldn't mind if they moved house and then I got the smaller room but I don't think it's fair to get kicked out of the room I grew up in when I plan to stay with them a lot.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You don't own this room. They do.

If they want to give it to your lil sis they can and should.

You've got no claim to this ######


Prompt:
Ok, so I have a few different properties just all over the place, most of them are empty or I rent them out for next to nothing (I’m not big on the idea of making money being a landlord). Anyway, I had a girlfriend for a short time, and things didn’t work out but I said she could live in an apartment I own for as long as she wants and all she had to do was pay the bills, as she was going through a tough time. So that’s been the case for some time now. Recently I met a man who’s been really affected by the pandemic, and is on the verge of being homeless, whereas my ex gf is making decent money now and doesn’t necessarily need the place. So I told her she has a month to move out, as I’ll be moving in this guy. Some may say, why not offer him another one of my properties to stay or something. Well this apartment happens to be the only one in the state, my other ones are either overseas or out of state (I use them for holiday purposes not rental purposes it’d be redundant to own a bunch of properties in the same area).

My ex says this is unfair of me to do during this time, and that I promised she could stay as long as she liked. Whilst I do feel guilty I ultimately think I made the right decision. ######

Response:
 Yta.

You cant evict people in a pandemic. Straight up ta legally and morally. Also housing an ex girlfriend and saying stay as long as you want. Your an idiot. You don't make that promise to someone then renegade and expect it to go well. You should have given a time frame rent free then moved to a contract. The proper way to do this would be to keep her where she is, make her pay rent, then show charity to this other dude and pay for him to stay somewhere with her rent money.

I think you mean well, but at the same time your an ass. ######


Prompt:
I've \[M29\] known this person \[F32\] since 2004. That would make me 14. We live in different countries, so our friendship has been always via technology. Back at 2004 even the most basic webcam was a luxury and only few had it. Now it's 2020 and videocalls and streaming is within the reach of almost everyone, and hence you can include your loved ones in almost everything, now doubly so in times of corona where nobody can get out of their homes.

She got married last year to her long time partner. Had a long list of local only guests. I asked her if I was invited, if I could be, via anything from a private videocall or maybe something like an Instagram live that only those in CLOSE FRIENDS category could see. I mean, I had known her for what's basically half my entire lifespan.

I was told no. There would be no streaming of the wedding, but there would be pictures I could watch.

I was furious at hearing that. Sure it's her wedding and she's free to choose whatever. But in a world where you can have zoom, Discord, Facebook, Google Meet calls for everything, and for a while I attended nonprofit meetings via videocall because they cared about my presence there, to basically shut out all the options I could be there with, made me feel like a second-class friendship.

I have not spoken one word to her since, for any reason. I have made so many friends via technology, that for me it's a NO BRAINER to include them in a hugely important event in my life, and as such I'd do EVERYTHING I could to accomodate their presence via technology JUST as much as I would local ones.

Her, however? She can have pictures. ######

Response:
 YTA.

You are not entitled to an invite in the first place.

You are not entitled for someone to change their wedding and set-up webcams.

Just because she's friends with you, doesn't mean you are entitled to her day. Not even family are entitled to her day.

If this causes you to shun her and think of yourself in a "second-class friendship" then you're not a very good nor understanding friend.

While you may include them in your big day, they don't owe you the same for theirs.

>Sure it's her wedding and she's free to choose whatever.

Exactly.

Congratulate her and move on. ######


Prompt: So let me give you some background. My (49M) daughter (19F) came out to me a couple of months ago as bisexual and, I was very supportive of her. I made sure to tell her that i loved her no matter what, The other day, though, she put a post on Facebook telling everyone! I told her that I wished that she would have told me that she was going to do that first, because I would have wanted to let some close friends family members (e.g. her grandparents. Aunts/uncles.)know ahead of time so they wouldn't just find out that very big news while they just scroll through Facebook. The next day, after I had time to gather my thoughts, I sent her a message saying how I was hurt that she didn't give me the consideration of even letting me know before she did this and it was one of the worst things that has ever been done to me. I told her that her childhood friend, G, who has a genetic disorder and is not able to fully comprehend that, had to be woken up by her mom to be told instead of just finding out while she scrolls through Facebook. My wife agrees with me, but my daughter says that I don't have a say about how she does this, even though it affects me. Am I in the wrong here? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Why does she need to warn you before telling everyone, again? If she wants her grandparents/aunts/uncles to know ahead of time, she can tell them herself. You're not her agent, or her press manager. You don't get to dictate how she disseminates this information, and to whom, and in what order.

> it was one of the worst things that has ever been done to me

What?

> I told her that her childhood friend, G, who has a genetic disorder and is not able to fully comprehend that, had to be woken up by her mom to be told instead of just finding out while she scrolls through Facebook.

Huh? ######


Prompt: So my boyfriend was abused as a child and he has a big fear of putting his face near sinks because his mom used to semi drown him as punishment by putting his head under the kitchen sink. I’m a big believer of washing your face twice a day and while he does wash it in the shower, that means he only washes his face once per day and he breaks out often because of it. I told him today that he has to start washing his face in the sink and that he can just splash water on it to make it easier. He rejected and said he wouldn’t do it at all. I told him that I wouldn’t be going to get groceries with him if he didn’t because I think his fear needs to be dealt with once and for all because Im sure we’re both tired of it. He got really upset and told me to leave for a bit and so I did. He was really rude about it and it hurt. I told my sister and she said I’m the asshole in this but I genuinely did it out of love and want for him to get over his fears. Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Unless you’re a fully certified therapist, it’s not your job to use exposure therapy to try to help your BF get over his issues.

More so: why the fuck do you care that he’s only washing his face once a day in the shower? Why do you think you’re right about needing to wash it twice a day? ######


Prompt:
We've been married for close to 10 years now (I'm 37M and she is 35F). We have two beautiful and amazing boys (7M and 9M).

In spite of this, something has been up with my wife lately. She's been acting very melancholy and distant. Just prior to getting married, there was a pregnancy scare. Honestly I was terrified... I really didn't want a child at that point just yet. I would be ready a year later, but not quite at that stage.

I told her my view, that ideally I'd like her to get an abortion but its ultimately up to her. I spent a lot of time praying that she would get an abortion and come to her senses. Thankfully she decided that she wanted to abort. And then we had our boys soon after.

Now she came forward to me and said she is feeling emotional about that time. I just didn't understand. Why is she bringing up this stuff from the past? Doesn't she care about our two boys? I told her that "I'm very glad that you had that abortion. It was the best thing to happen to me, and now we have our boys. They're our priority. Not what could have been, that's all not real".

This angered her and she stormed off. Since then she confronted me and called me an asshole and dickhead. I said that while I understand she is upset, its unfair to our boys. They're actually real children, whereas her abortion was obviously unborn, she needs to accept this. Our boys are our priority. Idk I am conflicted now AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

To be clear, you're entitled to feel happy about the fact that your wife had an abortion. And there is a respectful way for you to express your feelings as part of a back and forth conversation.

What struck me about the description you provided is that it is centered in your own experience with no apparent regard for your wife's experience. Just like you are entitled to feel happy that she had an abortion, she is entitled to feel grief, regret, or whatever else that she feels. Just because the abortion was 10+ years ago does not mean she is not entitled to feel those things. And there are any number of reasons that she may be feeling her current feelings now, a decade later. Ideally, a partner would be open to learning more about her current struggle with this and provide empathy.

It should go without saying: your wife's feelings about having an abortion in no way affect her ability to be a parent to the two children you have now. She can both feel whatever feels genuine to her about the abortion and be a fantastic parent to the kids.

Finally, you say that "I told her...I'd like her to get an abortion, but it's ultimately up to her." There is a place for the would-be father to share his feelings about having a child and about abortion when there is an unplanned pregnancy, and you correctly recognize that the choice was not yours to make. But based on your description of her decision to have the abortion as "com[ing] to her senses," I can't help but wonder if she felt pressured into having the abortion. It very well might not be the case. But if so, it may be an underlying part of her struggle with this right now. ######


Prompt:
On march 10th my son got expelled from school. I wont get into detail about what happened but he gave his friend a knife. He got expelled from regular school for 1 year and got sent to an academy. I gave him a choice, If he went to the academy for the rest of the year i would let him do online/homeschool for his next year classes.
He agreed and went for 2 weeks but when he left for spring break he did not return because of coronavirus. Now today I get his report card in the mail saying he passed. He asks me if we where going to homeschool him, I told him no because of coronavirus and him not finishing the school year at the academy. He got mad and said he’s not going to talk to me anymore. How do I make him understand that my actions are justified? AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

This was out of his control. He did everything right. You're teaching him that your authority is capricious and inconsistent. ######


Prompt:
 I don’t mind that my girlfriend hasn’t shaved her legs in a few months, because we’ve just been home together, and she has always worked from home so shaving her legs really only happens when we’re going out somewhere nice and she’s wearing a dress and doesn’t want to wear tights or if we’re having a beach trip.

Well since we’re not comfortable going out, it’s been a lot longer since she’s last shaved and her leg hair is getting a little long. Every night she rubs her legs against mine and it just feels weird, and sometimes itchy on my own legs and makes it hard to sleep.

I told her I didn’t care if she shaved or not but if she could put pants on before bed so I could sleep better. She laughed at me thinking I was joking but when she realized I was serious she got pretty annoyed with me and said she isn’t putting pants on when my “hairy legs rub up against her all night”.

I thought I asked for a pretty reasonable request. ######

Response:
 YTA.

This is a "you" problem.

Bodies grow hair, we don't choose to.

Your girlfriend gets to choose if she wants to shave her legs.

If you don't shave yours, I also want to point out your legs will itch hers too, but clearly you haven't worn anything to cover them.

If you don't like it, then you get to cover your legs. If you don't want to, then you don't get to dictate what she does because this is your issue, not hers. ######


Prompt:
My friend just gave birth, and I offered to help out around the house during the day to help lighten her load. She asked me if I could come over and do some dishes- of course I said yes!

When I pull up, I see her husband’s car in the driveway. I text her and ask if she’s home. She says yes.

I turn my ass around and go home. Her husband was home all day and she still asked me to do dishes. Why could he not load the dishwasher? We haven’t spoken since. I am LIVID that she would abuse someone’s kind gesture like that. ######

Response:
 YTA.

So let me make sure I understand:

You offer to come over and help.

She accepts your offer and you confirm you're coming over.

You get there, see her husband's car in the driveway, and ask her if he's there. She says he is.

You vanish, never to be heard from again.

You don't know the circumstances. Maybe he just got home. Maybe he's been home all day but they're both exhausted because they were up all night. Maybe he's sick and she's trying to care for a baby and a sick person by herself.

Regardless, you ghosted her. That sucks. Friends don't do that to friends. ######


Prompt:
My wife (30F) and I (28M) have an 8 month old daughter.  Since she was born my wife has not done anything besides go to work, and take care of baby.  I, on the other hand, have gone to work, gone skiing, played golf, done yard work, and done other house projects and of course, taken care of baby too.

And before anyone jumps down my throat, I love my wife and my daughter more than anything in the world and love being with them.  I also believe I can be a better dad and husband when I have a release and something that brings me joy outside of being with them.  To me, my hobbies are therapeutic to my mind and allow me to unplug for a couple hours per week.

The other day I told my wife that she should take up some hobbies.  I told her to join a volleyball league (she played in college and was pretty good), she should go for a bike ride, play golf or go skiing - anything to give her an outlet and not just go to work and come home and watch baby.  She views being a mom as her job, her passion and her hobby.  It is one of the things I admire most about her but I also feel it is important for her to have a hobby outside of being a mom and something that brings her joy, a release and an outlet for the frustrations of being a new parent.

This conversation did not go well and she left the room crying because I stuck to my argument that she needed a hobby and she disagreed and didn't want to be away from baby any more than she had to be.  Selfishly, I want her to have a hobby that she can do while I watch baby so I don't have to feel as guilty when I am doing my hobbies and she is watching baby.

AITA for wanting her to have a hobby so I can feel less guilty about mine? ######

Response:
 YTA.

She is being a mom. Kid is 8 months not 8 years old.

This is all about you and your guilt.

This isnt about her. ######


Prompt: I (28f) have trouble with social interactions. Some time I say things with a tone that sounds really rude without realizing it. I think I'm being playful or helpful given the situation. My husband (30m) has only recently told me that I do this and thats why people get upset with me so often. I was upset that he hadn't told me sooner (we have been together 11 years) but I got over that part and asked him to correct me at the time I do it to help me realize when I am and to apologize for it. He has not been doing it. He tells me after the fact like when we get in the car or get home. The last time we were in Wal-Mart and the cashier seemed New and was having trouble doing something on the register. I have worked for the company for 6 years now so I understand how hard it can be at the register. I thought I was trying to be nice and explained what she was doing wrong after she was getting frustrated. She had gotten mad at me for it. As we were leaving my husband told me I was rude for telling her how to do her job and my tone. I got mad and asked why he didn't tell me at the time. He said he didn't wanna start a scene. Am I the Asshole for yelling at him in the car for not helping me fix my people problem? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Maybe you can practice fixing your social interactions with your husband for starters? At the end of the day, there wasnt a need to be yelling at him. ######


Prompt:
Next year I (f23) will be marrying my future husband (m26). I have had the same group of best friends since we were all four years old. When we were in our early teens we made a circle system so that we would all each get the opportunity to be maids of honour at one of our weddings. This friend, lets call her Grace was assigned to me.

I love Grace to absolute death. She lost her dad as a child and has been through a lot of mental health issues over the last decade, but I cant help but have a massive grudge against her because of something that happened when we were 7. I don't remember all the details but in short she told a teacher I was bullying her, and I got a massive scolding from my dad, I had never seen him more angry. She claims to have absolutely no recollection of this, and says that even if it did happen i should excuse it because a) it was 16 years ago and b) only a month after her dad died and she was going through a lot.

When I met my current fiance, the topic of weddings came up in our best friends group chat. I told Grace then that I wouldn't want her to be my maid of honour, because of what happened when we were kids. I think she thought I was joking as when I recently brought it back up, and asked one of our other best friends to be maid of honour instead, she was really upset claiming that if the only trauma I experienced was my dad telling me off I "got off lightly" and that I need to stop holding such a grudge.  I think she's being really unfair. All of our friends have told me I'm an asshole for not allowing her to be maid of honour but at the end of the day its my wedding and I'm not going to change my mind to appease her.

AITA for not wanting her to be my maid of honour? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Judging by your replies, I bet my bottom dollar you really did bully Grace when you were seven. ######


Prompt:
So my gf’s bestfriend usually crushes at ours for weeks, but since quarantine began she has refuged to creating online sexual content, something I’m deeply against, so when my gf told me she was coming over -and she had told me she started creating such content- I told her I wouldn’t allow her in my house and I was sorry, my gf seems upset af ngl.

But I think I’m not an asshole because it’s my house and my rules?what do you guys think? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Interesting how it's "our" house when a friend is crashing but "my house" when you decide to be judgemental, BTW. ######


Prompt:
Throw away for obvious reasons. On Saturday night I (32 F) and my boyfriend (33 M) went to have dinner at his parent’s house. This was a big next step. I hadn’t met anyone in his family yet. We’ve been dating for about 6 months now.

So last week I got sick and have been taking penicillin to get over an infection and been having a lot of symptoms, one of them being gas. Most of the time it’s fine, but others, if I don’t let it out, I’ll be in excruciating pain. Everything was going great at dinner, his mom cooked a beautiful pot roast, we were all laughing and getting along famously.

All of a sudden I started getting the gas cramps so I had no choice but to try to let them out silently and once I started - I couldn’t stop. I didn’t think they smelled that bad, and some were louder than I’d hoped, but I didn’t want to step away from the table as we were in the middle of a conversation, I thought it would be rude.

I got unlucky and let one go during a lull in the conversation, it was noticeably loud, but I didn’t think you could tell it was from me. My boyfriend leaned over and asked “Are you OK? Do you need to use the restroom?” I couldn’t believe he would embarrass me in front of his family like that. The rest of the dinner I was quiet from rage.

The whole stress of the situation made my gas cramps worse. The rest of the dinner was awkward, I could tell the parents knew I was the one passing gas because of my boyfriend’s questions. He dropped me off at my place after when I was supposed to stay the night at his, and he had the audacity to drive with the windows down.

I can’t help that I have a medical condition that is causing me to pass gas. As he’s in the medical profession I thought he’d be more understanding. We haven’t talked much since Saturday and I’m just wondering AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

If you knew this would be a problem, why didn’t you reschedule? This was your first chance to make an impression on his parents, and your relationship is still very young as well.

How did you process the thought “oh, it would be so rude to leave mid conversation” but never once think “it would be rude to continually pass gas at the table”???

I can understand one or two slipping out. But CONTINUALLY? Come on. Have some dignity. ######


Prompt:
I very recently had my first daughter, she’s 9 weeks right now.

I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, he has a 10y/o and a 9y/o with an ex - they’re still very much friendly and split custody equally.

I want to move back home, my mother is sick and I want to give her a chance to know the baby- even if we only stay for a few months, I’m hoping once my husband sees how beautiful it is there he’ll want to stay.

It’s about 11hours away from where we live, it requires a ferry so it’s not a simple drive either which is what’s so off putting for my husband.

I don’t expect him to live up there, I want to visit for a few months so my mother can see our baby (him liking it enough to move would be a perk)

He can Skype with the children and they can visit as often as possible.

We told his children’s mother so we can figure something out, custody wise, if we were to move.

She isn’t too happy, calling me an AH for expecting my husband to move away from the children and for expecting her to be ok with it.

AITA?

**We won’t be going ahead with this for a while** ######

Response:
 YTA.

If you just wanted to move for a couple of months so that your mum could get to know your kid, I'd say N.A.H. But you obviously have ulterior motives here and are being manipulative.

If you genuinely think it's a good idea to separate your husband from his kids and uprooting their lives,  then you're an AH beyond all shadow of a doubt. ######


Prompt:
To preface, I’m the father of a beautiful 3 year old girl whose mother and I are no longer together. Although my daughter is my world, I hope to be remarried in the future and have more children because I always saw myself having a lot of kids. The other day, I made a comment while on the phone to my friend which I honestly thought was fairly innocuous.

Growing up, my father and I always played sports together, loved roughhousing with one another, etc. I know that girls can and do enjoy this too, but I have taken psychology classes before and I know that stuff like this is more naturally inclined toward boys. I think it is polite fiction to think that there are absolutely no differences between male and female children.

While I was talking to my friend, I mentioned that if I ever was able to find someone to have another child with, I would of course love them despite their gender, but I would love to have a boy because I would have someone to throw my ball around with.

My friend called me an idiot, and told me that having a gender preference was potentially harmful, and I should rethink my priorities before trying to have another child. Personally I don’t why what I said was so wrong, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

If you can't throw a ball around with your daughter, or roughhouse with her, that's _your_ inclination to not want to do that. My daughter loves wrestling with me, we play sports when we go outside. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway cause my girlfriend is on reddit.

&#x200B;

So my girlfriend and I were out for the dinner tonight and after we both finished my plate was clean and she still had a decent amount of food left. I was still hungry, and we often share food so I asked her if I could have what was left of hers. This happens a lot and she always says yes, but this time she said no and explained she wanted to save it for lunch the next day.

&#x200B;

I was somewhat surprised by this because it's never happened before, but also I was paying for dinner! I feel that since I was still hungry at that point in time I should get the food I was paying for. I have no problem buying my girlfriend food whenever and I buy her meals pretty frequently, but I just kinda feel entitled to the leftovers if I'm still hungry. Also we're partners, she should care that I'm still hungry and let me have the food.  I don't know if I expressed myself very well because when I raised my points my girlfriend said "Just listen to yourself" and still got a to-go box for her food. I was annoyed by this but decided to drop it so things didn't escalate more in public, but I have to admit it's still bugging me hours later. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

If you *routinely* are still hungry and need her leftovers, you aren't ordering enough food. Further, it takes 20 minutes to feel full, so sometimes you need to chill.

You're putting her in a hard spot because she may want to keep some for lunch the next day, but she may feel like she can't say she's full because you'll come in like a ravenous wolf to scarf it down.

It's irrelevant that you're paying. ######


Prompt:
Throw away account because my family is on reddit.
On my cell so please ignore any spelling/grammar

Afternoon Assholes,
Some background, my husband & I decided this January that we were going to try to have our first baby. My sister (who is in a lesbian relationship) has also been trying for a baby for about two years, but in October of 2019 her & her partner got licensed to be foster parents.
The whole family was so happy for them when they got their license and so was I. Now they’ve had about 5 or 6 temporary placements & 1 permanent placement who they’ve had since she was 2 and she’s now 3.
3 weeks ago we found out we were pregnant with our first child! We’ve told our families and they are so so so thrilled! But since we’ve found out my sister has been giving us tons of unnecessary advice & every time It begins with “well we learned with this kid that....” This pregnancy so far has left me very emotional and it irritates the hell out of me when she brings up the past children instead of asking me about my real child.
Well, it came to a head yesterday when she brought me some old bottles without asking if I wanted them. She said “well 3 year old doesn’t use them anymore & we don’t plan on having anymore little little babies since X was placed....” I didn’t want her old *used* bottles & I didn’t want any of the advice she brought with those bottles. So I calmly said to her;
“I’m about to be a REAL mom. I don’t want any of your hand-me-downs”
Apparently she told the whole family that and now I’ve been fielding phone calls from my Mom all day about how selfish that was & how I’m being a brat. But it’s true. She isn’t a real mom & she doesn’t ask or act like she wants to know what my newborn will need once he/she is born.
So am I the asshole for pointing out that my sister doesn’t have any real kids? Or should I just let her give me the old bottles? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I’ve got 3 (bio kids, since you seem to think that matters) so I outrank you, since you want to play that game. Listen up:

You are in for a super steep learning curve and you’re going to be eating a lot of crow if you don’t change your attitude fast. I’m not saying you should take what she says as gospel — a lot of people are going to tell you how things will be for you and a lot will be wrong — but at least have the grace to accept attempted help in the spirit in which it’s given. If you disagree, then smile and nod and do what you want.

But if you don’t change, you’re going to alienate the people who can give you the most and best support, and your kid is going to suffer the most for it.

And wtf? Yes she’s a real mom. You “don’t want her old hand-me-downs”? Grow TF up. You’re going to be spending lots of money on that kid; take what you can get for free and be grateful for it.

Change your attitude, apologize now before you dig yourself in deeper, and learn from people who have gone before you. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway for obvious reasons. Also this is long.

I (35F) married my husband (56 M) 5 years ago and his family has been awful to me and our son (7M) because I was the other woman. His ex-wife dragged him through a two year long contentious divorce and got the house, pretty much everything he owned except his business, and an exorbitant amount of child support.

They had three children together, “Junior” 24M, “Eve” 22F and “Kate” 16F). The older two do not acknowledge me. Kate is not rude because she generally stays with us every other weekend but she will not talk to me if she can avoid it. Our 7 year old “Brady” has cerebral palsy and is non verbal and non mobile, so they use that as an excuse not to develop a relationship with him at all. My husband was very close with Junior before we got together and they used to do typical father-son things. After his parents divorce, Junior grew distant and went away to college, and my son will never be able to do the bonding things my husband wants. Eve is engaged and stated that she does not want my husband to walk her down the aisle because he doesn’t “respect the covenant of marriage.” She’s also made it clear I’m not invited to the wedding.

My husband’s parents and sister are religious and do not approve of the adultery, the divorce or my having his child out of wedlock. When my father in law passed, he left his other grandchildren 6 figure inheritances on top of their college funds and left my son and husband just enough that we couldn’t contest the will. We recently found out that the whole family does zoom nights and exclude us.

We recently had an argument about his family and how they treat my son as less than equal. I said that I’m done with them and his children. I’m tired of watching my husband’s heart break and I want him stop begging his family to forgive him for a choice we made to be happy together. My husband said I was an asshole and he can’t just give up his kids to make me happy. So AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I'm not sure why you think you're entitled to any sort of warm-and-fuzzy hug treatment from his children and ex-wife, when you are as you say "the other woman". I wouldn't invite you to my wedding, either.

On the other hand, it's pretty wretched for your son's grandparents to treat him poorly. He's an innocent in all of this. But they're a minority in the story, so I'm not putting down E.S.H.

But this part:

>  When my father in law passed, he left his other grandchildren 6 figure inheritances on top of their college funds and left my son and husband just enough that we couldn’t contest the will.

That's just a beggar being a chooser, while looking a gift horse in the mouth, or whatever. ######


Prompt:
I shared an apartment with 2 other guys. At some point I wanted to have sex so I invited girls over. The website that used host fake accounts. I got scammed and my room mates found out. They objected to me having prostitutes over.

For a little background. I lived with these guys for some time and me living was hardly anything to write about. They dont clean, dont do the dishes. They hardly talked with me. I made food for them invites them to so some fun things and they never did anything in return. After the night I got scammed they talked with me (one of the only times they showed any interest). They talked with me about that they thought I was angry about being scammed(which is was not angry about) and that they cared for me as a friend (in which I got really annoyed because holy shit do people only seem to care about me when they want something)

Another problem that arises is that they cant prove that the women that come by are prostitutes unless they ask. The second argument is that they have no right to intrude on my personal life.

Their arguments are ;is that they dont feel safe with those prostitutes around, which doesnt make sense because the women I have over didnt use bodyguards. They didnt trust them with stealing stuff, which is nonsense because I would let them roam around my house freely.

I just get so fucking frustrated. I need sex, that's a basic need that I want fulfilled. They shouldn't be bothered with me unless they get personally threatened. Which they never had been. ######

Response:
 YTA.

I'm going to preface this by saying, I don't care if you fuck prostitutes, that's none of my business

However, both of the points your roommates bring up are valid, and you completely dismiss them out of hand. Whether or not they use bodyguards isn't the point, and of course you're not going to let them roam around, but that still would not prevent them from stealing things if they were so inclined. They could also just be taking note roommate's hypothetical expensive gaming computer to come back later for a burglary.

Regardless of whatever a person's views is on prostitution, you are committing a criminal act in your shared domicile and putting your roommates at a risk they have expressed to you is unacceptable. ######


Prompt:
So I used to live with my roommate and she had a friend who needed to stay for 2 weeks. I won't go into to much detail but shwas escaping an abusive situation and she had to wait to move in to her new apartment. I never really saw her, she was out most of the time and only came back to sleep but I was still uncomfortable with a stranger living in my apartment. I put my foot down after 1 week and tolf my roommate that she needed to kick her friend out. She looked upset and asked why and that her friend is really quiet and isnt home most of the time. I told her I didn't need to explain myself and she went to bed crying.

The next day she came up to me and told me she was moving out and she's going to live with her friend. I immediately panicked because I couldn't afford to live there by myself but she was adamant and she moved out that day and continued paying rent until the lease was up which was 2 months after she moved out.

I had to move back in with my parents and I messaged her telling her she's a is a huge piece of shit and I did nothing wrong. She sent back a long, angry message about how I was disrespectful to her friend and I need to stop being such an entitled bitch. I blocked her.

I know I was in the right until I messaged her and I am not sure if I was in the wrong for what I said. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I would sympathise somewhat with having a stranger in your house - but they weren't in any way disruptive, and they were there for just two weeks. Also, imagine if you were trying to escape an abusive situation. Have some empathy.

With your roommate moving out, she continued to pay rent so you were fine financially, so what's the issue? In fact you kind of got what you wanted anyway. You didn't need to move in with your parents because of this, and what a disgusting choice of words for someone who was to simply help their friend out who was going through a tough time.

Good for her that you blocked her - now she doesn't need to deal with your bullsh*t. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is an 8th grader entering 9th grade. All incoming students had to go to a sort of orientation today, where they would get their schedules, IDs, the like. She had planned for my wife to take her.
I am physically disabled from an injury and can’t walk. She didn’t want me to take her because she knew I wouldn’t be able to walk up stairs and I wouldn’t be able to pay her fees for her or sign forms. My wife pretty much forbid me from going, saying we have a puppy with separation anxiety that needs watching at home.
It was painstaking and tedious but I managed to hobble over to my car and drive there. When I got there my wife saw me, got frustrated and drove home, essentially abandoning my daughter there. My daughter was in queue getting her laptop, and needed a parent to come up to the second floor with her. She came out to the parking lot to get her mother and saw me in her place, asked for her mother, and when I told her I sent her home she blew up at me and told me I ruined her day for my own ego.
I only wanted to be involved in her education. Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I think your daughter hit the nail on the head quite succinctly.

Orientation is not some "event" to be shared and enjoyed. It's a battleground of tedium, paperwork, and getting hundreds of kids various fees paid, pictures taken and IDs made, laptops deployed, locker assignments and books handed out. If you're lucky, there'll be a few teacher meet and greets and maybe one will even make a few gallons of Kool-Aid to make y'all feel welcome and provide a bit of refuge from the throngs of people trying to completely their scavenger hunt of tedious BS.

If this was about anything other than your ego, you'd have contacted the school in advance to make arrangements to accommodate you for your disabilities and ensured you could do all the things even your daughter knew you'd struggle or be outright incapable of doing.

If you wanted to be involved in her education, you would have planned this better than waiting until her and Mom went and then followed by yourself specifically to force yourself.

There are a great many ways to be involved in your kid's education without making an ass of yourself. ######


Prompt:
Hi - honestly I'm a bit lost and confused here, but please hear me out.

I (25M) started taking dating apps seriously a few months ago. Anyone familiar with these kind of apps will know that it's a lot harder for guys than girls. I know for a fact that several female friends of mine have hundreds of matches whereas I (average attractiveness) was lucky to get a reply back.

A lot of the time it also seems to fall to the guy to make the first move and keep the conversation going. So when an app tells me a girl's interests, I usually try to work them into the conversation if it lulls.

A few weeks ago there was a girl (23F) who I really clicked with. Similar sense of humor, some great photos, and she seemed sweet. After talking some we decided to hang out and see if we worked irl.

I was kinda nervous and because I really wanted this to go well, I looked her up on a few social media platforms. All her profiles were public and so were her likes. I happened to find her profile on a really old site (the picture had to be from at least ten years ago) and I was pretty happy because she liked a page about a video game I love. She even drew fanart.

So we're hanging out and I happen to mention the video game and how cool it is we both enjoy it. She's confused obviously and asks me how I know she's a fan.

When I tell her I saw it online, she completely freaks out on me. She accused me of stalking her, and didn't really listen when I tried to explain I'd just done some googling.

AITA for checking this girl out online before meeting up? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I get that your intentions were good, but you lost me at "profile from 10 years ago."

If it was her public Instagram or something, that'd be different. But, if somebody mentioned a band from my Myspace page in high school while I was on a date with them, I'd be a bit unnerved.

I wouldn't call it stalking (it isn't like you followed her to her house and looked in her window) but it does venture way too close to creepy territory.

edit: can't type ######


Prompt:
My ex and I have split custody of our daughter, I get certain days of the week and he gets the others and we split through weekends.

This year, Father’s Day comes on a day that my daughter stays with me for the weekend up until the week, and I told her that she couldn’t go to his house on Father’s Day because of that and also because it would be too much of a hassle to get her from my house to his back to mine for just one day. My ex texted me today asking why the fuck can’t he just have this one day and I told him straight up. I don’t take any bullshit and I believe it’s only fair. If this happened to me I would let him take her for the day even though it was Mother’s Day. He called me heartless and now my mother is reprimanding me for this. I don’t believe I’m in the wrong because it’s only what the schedule says I can’t help that. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I feel really bad for your daughter.

That part where you say you don't take any bullshit? Apparently you find your daughter having a healthy relationship with both parents to be part of the bullshit.

Little do you realize, you aren't hurting her relationship with him. You're hurting her relationship with you. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to make this short. I'm (38m) and my wife (33f) have been married for 11 years. When we met I had a 7 year old cat that was my bff  I had since he was a kitten. He was literally my whole life as cheesy as that sounds. Well he lived to be 18 and I had to have him put to sleep last summer before the world shut down. The week after I just couldn't take it. I was so heartbroken and needed time alone I booked a trip to Mexico (we live in the USA) and went there for 5 days. I just needed some time alone. I didn't tell my wife until I got there. I acted like I was just going to work for the day, but went to the airport. When I got there I called her and told her where I was. She was really upset I didn't talk to her about my feelings. I just couldn't. I wanted to be alone. It's been almost a year and I still feel bad about it. We don't have kids BTW.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

I feel bad for you, especially because I know the pain of losing a beloved animal friend. But, dude, flying to Mexico without telling your wife? That's nuts. Not because you need permission, but because she's your partner, your friend, the person you are supposed to rely on.

If you really can't show her your grief and sadness, then I think you have to wonder how much of yourself you are sharing with her. Or whether you're putting on an act for the majority of your life. ######


Prompt: To start it off, I  (39 M) work as an online art critic, and it truly is the love of my life. I have always been incredibly fascinated by art and it's many, many forms. My daughter (11 F) has taken notice of this recently and had put a LOT of dedication in to becoming a good artist. However, the results... were not the best. Whenever she showed a painting/picture to me I tried my best to say it was good, but I just hate lying. I finally broke when she showed a pencil sketch of my face. I basically critiqued it as I would an online piece. I noted how the eyes were too slim, the nose too small, the mole on the wrong side of my face, but that the hair was a good start. My daughter heard this and ran off in tears. About an hour later my wife comes in pretty angry. She basically says that my daughter is trying to connect with me and it is discusting how I treated her. I still feel like I'm in the right because apparently my daughter can't take constructive criticism, and I am just trying to be honest with her.                   AITA ######

Response:
 YTA.

How you don't see that is baffling to me. She's 11, you asshole. If you shit on everything she tries right now, she won't keep trying, and she'll never get better. ######


Prompt:
I met my (42M) wife (34F) 9 years ago, her son John is 14.

My wife has John 3 weeks of the month.

My wife is due to give birth any day, she was actually due last week, her pregnancy has been extremely stressful and she’s been on bed rest for most of it.

Her son has been extremely difficult lately; saying I’m not his dad and that he’s afraid the baby will grow up to be like me and being disrespectful.

I tolerated it for a week because he’s going through a hard time but I’m fed up.

I asked my wife to send him to his fathers until the baby is born, maybe a week after the baby  is born even.

She refused saying  that she gets wanting a week after the baby is born and she’ll sort that out but she won’t send him home during her custody time, even though they’ve spent like an hour together the past two weeks.

She believes he’ll link the baby to being sent home, I believe at his attitude he’s old enough to know that we need peace and quiet at this time.

She believes that I’m being out of order, I’d ask her to speak to him but last time she did he lashed out and now she’s pass her due date I don’t want to stress her out more.

He’s too old to be acting like this when we’re both stressed out because of this complicated pregnancy, which he’s aware of.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

He is home.

He's 14.

He's experiencing a MASSIVE change in his surroundings (during a pandemic). Of course, he's gonna be a turd. The kid might want to see a therapist or a family therapist for you all because this sounds like the new baby is coming in to a nightmare.

Sending him away is going to probably gonna reinforce what he's probably feeling...that he's been erased.

You said you want to send him 'home' because it's stressing your wife out...but then in a comment saying they've barely interacted. So, it sounds like the kid is stressing YOU out, not your wife. ######


Prompt:
So I met this girl through an online video game we both play. We've been talking on and off for about five years now. Here's the thing though, although we've talked for this long, I have only seen maybe a handful of pictures of her. I've reverse image searched the ones I've had and it doesn't return any results, but still very fishy.

Every time I ask to see a picture of her, she tells me no because she has "body dysmorphia". I find that hard to believe, she's legitimately one of the most attractive girls I've ever seen if her pictures are true.  I decided to see if she would trust me enough to send more pictures, so I've been asking semi-frequently and every single time has been "no" or some other excuse. I finally had enough and called her a catfish, because that's what I've been lead to believe with all the evidence I have.

She got extremely upset and lashed out on me, saying she wasn't a catfish and I know she has body dysmorphia. She said I was being ridiculous because we aren't dating and I don't send her money or buy her things, so what reasons would she have for catfishing me? I felt like she was once again coming up with excuses and told her I needed proof. She hasn't talked to me since. This still seems fishy though. ######

Response:
 YTA.

Have you gone to any of these crazy lengths to check out the guys you play with online? Most likely not. You are being a creep. ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago*

A few weeks ago a mutual friend who I don’t know really well hosted a dinner party and invited me and a couple of our mutual friends. I’m just going to throw it out there but I don’t eat vegetables, yes I’m an adult. I’ve never liked them and growing up my parents never forced me to eat any so I never developed the appetite.

Fast forward to the dinner party we are all at the table enjoying the meal and I am eating around the vegetables and admiring my hosts garden and she tells me that she grows all her own vegetables and I tell her how cool that is and she looks me in my eyes and says the following “I use my bath water to water the plants” and then she giggles. Everyone at the table look uncomfortable and I asked her if she was joking and she looked puzzled and said no and went on a little rant about not wasting water. Anyway to cut a long story short I called her disgusting and that I didn’t appreciate being fed her bath water veggies (okay I didn’t eat it but she put them on my plate) and that she’s a unhygienic inconsiderate person and that she can’t be trusted to prepare food for people and then I walked out

Apparently after I left she cried and had a breakdown and my friends stayed over to comfort her and have been bugging me for weeks to apologise but she needs to apologise to me I am still appalled at the little stunt she pulled ######

Response:
 YTA.

Firstly, not eating vegetables is not relevant to your story but the way you seem proud of it does give a little insight into your maturity.

Secondly, she is rightly proud of growing her own vegetables and saving water in doing so. You embarrassed her and caused a scene like a baby.  You know vegetables have been grown in literal animal shit for millenia, right? ######


Prompt:
So last July my brother announced he had proposed and the wedding was scheduled for mid 2020 ish (they didn't lock in a date thankfully because they'd have to postpone it due to this lockdown stuff) and the girl seems really nice. A little uptight tbh but definitely someone who can be chill and fun to be around after you get to know her. She's a CPA. So she texted me right about late April asking if I'd like to go to the Bachelorette part (obv. taking place when things reopen) I kinda just said no, but out of guilt I felt the need to get a gift for the occasion. This is what I got her.. [NSFW](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087SHDHQH). When she got it.. I mean when HER DAUGHTER (10) GOT IT OUT OF THE GODDAMN MAIL BOX AND OPENED THE PACKAGE. SHE TEXTED ME AGAIN. Then she called me, yelling about how I couldn't possibly be more inconsiderate and I'm lucky that she isn't calling the authorities (lol?) about this.
I literally just wanted to alleviate my guilt about not caring about her Hen night party and now she thinks I'm actually disturbed in the head. Am I? More importantly reddit, AITA? She won't drop this and we've had a somewhat forced facetime with my brother in the room recently and it was extremely awkward. She claims I might have damaged her kid for life. What. Do. I. DO. AITA?..

TLDR Wiener Book Wrong Place Wrong Time ######

Response:
 YTA.

Either you know she wouldn't have found the "gift" funny or you're not close enough that sending a NSFW gift is "appropriate". ######


Prompt:
Without going into too much detail my job is very stressful right now, I’m on constant meetings and I am constantly having work thrown at me last minute.

I have two children, 2&4, we are  also expecting our third  child in October.

My wife is an interior designer, she usually works nights since our youngest is always waking up at odd hours and she says it inspires her, which is fine.

I had a 40 minute break yesterday, I decided to take that as me time and watch some tv - when my youngest woke up from her nap and started whining that she wanted to play.

I told her to go get her mummy to play because I wanted to relax, turns out her mother was having a nap because both children were also meant to be sleeping as they’d been awake most of the night.

My eldest woke her up and they played princess or whatever for a few hours and had an early night.

My wife came into the bedroom that night and completely went off on one about how she isn’t a single parent and she just wanted a nap, next time the children are up she’ll get our daughter to wake me up as a guilt trip like I did to her.

I tried to explain that I only had 40minutes, I’d had pressure  from my boss and wanted a break- she chooses to work nights.

Now she’s sleeping on the pullout sofa in the girls room.

AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Comparing how much sleep each of you gets in average, you are a giant asshole.  She gets by your estimate under 5 hours of sleep a day and you get an average of 8 hours of sleep daily.

This doesn't seem...off... to you?

Your *Me time* doesn't get to come at the expense of her sleep time when there is such a large disparity between how much more time you enjoy than she can get. ######


Prompt: So I'm 18M and I live with my older sisters(20F/23F) our parents pay all our expenses and we go to college and stuff. Well today we had to go grocery shopping but since only one person can go at a time I was picked to go. When my sister(23F) texted me the list I asked if I can not buy the tampons and someone else can go later. She asked why I said I'm embarrassed to buy tampons. She told me to grow up and just buy the tampons. We augured back and forth till eventually my sister(20F) just went in return I have to clean her bathroom. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Come on. It's just a hygiene product and no one is looking at you or gives a fuck if they happen to see. ######


Prompt:
 My husband works for a corporate company. When the craziness started, he was off of work for almost 2 weeks until they changed protocol. Since then, he's back at work with apparently "nothing" to do all day until he receives certain supplies that he needs to actually work. But he has to stay at work to be paid, so I've been asking him to tough it out and be bored if he has to so we make sure we can pay our bills during this time.

He and the other co worker have not been doing much but playing on phones, listening to music, etc. for most of their time spent at work. I've been taking on a lot of extra commissions just to come up with less money than I was making before things went south with the world: working more and harder for less money just to stay afloat.

He mentioned to me "as soon as things are running normally again I'm taking a week off. I need a break." I asked him what made him feel he was entitled to a week off when everyone around him was dealing with the same thing. He just used up 7 of his vacation days a few months ago to sit at home and play video games. Didn't even do house chores. Just played video games and watched TV the whole time while I worked. So, AITA for telling him that he doesn't deserve a vacation? ######

Response:
 YTA.

Being forced to stay in a place with nothing to do for hours on end is mentally taxing.

You are resentful about your situation and taking it out on him. ######


Prompt:
Me: 30s/F

Brother (Sean): 30/M

His fiancé: (Ashley): 31/F

Ashley’s sister: 33/F (I’ll call her Kate)

My brother Sean has been dating Ashley for 2 years, and they got engaged about two months ago.

Ashley has always been very kind to me and my family.  But she isn’t close with her blood siblings.  And by not close I mean like... she hasn’t talked to them in years.  Not a single word.  They don’t even exchange birthday or Christmas cards.  I’ve met her parents and they seem fine so I don’t think there’s any big trauma.    I on the other hand, am very very close with my brother and sister.  I couldn’t bear not contacting them on their birthdays or Christmas.

Ashley is one of those people who can wiggle out of any conversation.  Example:

Me: how’s Kate?

Ashley: she’s fine as far as I know.

Me: don’t you want to find out?  I’d want to know how my sister is.

Ashley: oh, would you?

Me: yeah, I would.  She’s your blood relative.

Ashley: yep she is.

Etc. etc. etc.  it’s pretty rude if I’m honest.  Recently she and Sean got engaged.  I was very curious about her extended family, so I did some social media digging and found her sister Kate.  I messaged her, just saying hi and explaining we will be related soon.

Kate seems absolutely fine and like a nice person.  I can't understand why Ashley would write her off.

I told Ashlry I connected with Kate, and she got extremely mad, said I had no right to reach out to her.  Sean also said I was the asshole, but he was a little gentler.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

100%

You think it's rude for your future sister in law to evade your questions about her family, with whom she has almost no contact? How is that rude?

You go behind her back, contact the sister, make snap judgments based on nothing, and stick your nose where it doesn't belong.

You are very nosy, strangely entitled, and weirdly judgmental. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway for reasons. So a few weeks ago the new Animal Crossing came out. I bought it immediately. My best friend is an Animal Crossing super fan, but is pretty poor and didn’t have a switch. She has no cable or TV or anything, and I wanted to do something nice. I tell her if she can come up with half the money for a switch I would pay the rest, she would just have to buy the game. She told me she doesn’t have income right now, and any money she does get has to go to bills. Understandable. I decide to get her the switch anyway. I show up and surprise her and she immediately tells me she can not afford it. I tell her it’s a gift. She’s super thankful and said she has to refund a plane ticket she got for her birthday to visit her family, so she may be able to pay back some of it, but that it wouldn’t be much because she really needs the money for groceries and bills. I tell her not to worry about it but deep down I’m hoping she will pay me back.
Her mom gets her the game for a birthday gift, and she LOVES the game. She is somehow farther than I am, and she always lets me visit her island to trade things. Well a few days ago MY switch breaks. It’s not fixable. So I ask if she ever got that refund, and if I can have my half of the money. She says she did get the refund but used most of it on groceries. I’m kind of annoyed because she should have set aside some money like she said she would. Why say something you’re not gonna do? I thought about it for a while and decided to ask for the switch back. None of her money went into it, so it’s technically not hers. She was really bummed out, but was a good sport about it.
I personally don’t think I did anything wrong because I bought it, but my girlfriend is now telling me I’m a “dick” because we both have decent jobs and easily could have replaced the switch we had. She’s really upset with me, and says if I don’t give our friend the switch back that she’s gonna go buy her one herself. Which I think is stupid. AITA here??? ######

Response:
 YTA.

>Why say something you’re not gonna do?

Exactly. YOU are the one who said things you did not follow through on, however, not your friend. She said she “may” pay you back the money, YOU told her the Switch was a gift and not to worry about it.

Your girlfriend is right, you did act inappropriately.

ETA:

>UPDATE: I have just read all of your comments and cannot reply to them all. First of all my girlfriend stole the switch back and brought it back to our friend without me knowing.

“Stole?!” You’re kidding, right?? Your girlfriend gave this person back what YOU stole from HER.

>For everyone asking how I can’t POSSIBLY see that I’m TA I was taught that when someone gives you an expensive gift you’re obligated to pay them back in some way, but I guess not everyone was raised that way.

Actually, many of us were raised to show appreciation and to return the favor when another person gives generously to us. The problem is, while the rest of us seem to understand the WHOLE concept, you appear to have missed the context where ”paying someone back” **does not actually mean compensating the original giver monetarily for the “gift” received**. Paying them back often means paying their generosity forward by being kind and generous to another person when you have the means, a simple and sincere thank you, a note to say how much you appreciated something, or even payment back in the form of a favor later on down the road. Did your parents expect you to pay them back for your birthday presents or risk having your toys taken away as a child?

>Also for everyone saying I shouldn’t buy things I can’t afford. I am not struggling. I could have easily bought another one but why would I when I JUST bought one and it’s perfectly fine? That makes no sense.

Because, while you bought one, you no longer OWN one. And if you wish to own something, you purchase it for yourself - you don’t repossess it from another person. ######


Prompt:
GF and I were talking and she wants to get on Birth Control to help with her cramps, which I was iffy about because of the effects it can have on her body (hormonal changes, lower libido, lack of natural lubrication, weight gain, etc). I pretty much condensed it down to it's your choice, but consider my input and keep me in the know. To which she argued it's her body and I shouldn't be part of that decision. I told her that if that's her point of view, then by that logic, whether I wear a condom or not should by my choice and she shouldn't have to part in it because it's my body.

Anyways, AITA for wanting to be in the loop?

**Edit:** I'm seeing several interesting points of view, but to clarify, I did look over the positives and negatives of BC although I'm only stating the negatives. She has body image issue (I think she's fine as she is, even if she's pudgy in certain areas, I love her for her), I'm concerned weight gain could make it worse as it is hard enough now and is a constant struggle to get her to accept she's perfect the way she and I stand behind belief despite her being insecure.

And regarding a lower libido, I know it can go the other way and result in a higher one as well (which I have no issue with), I just want her to look at both sides of the coin. Sex affects both of us and is an important part of our relationship (although not a primary focus, it's a small important part).

**Edit 2:** I'll show her this post and see how she feels about it, I just wanted to see other people's take on this, I appreciate the input as I'm sure she will as well. ######

Response:
 YTA.

>I told her that if that's her point of view, then by that logic, whether I wear a condom or not should by my choice and she shouldn't have to part in it because it's my body.

It is. It's also her choice to not sleep with you because of that. Likewise, it's your choice not to sleep or otherwise be with her if she goes on birth control.

But being worried about her fuckibility being affected by her taking measures to reduce her pain is not a good look dude. Intentional or not, what you're telling her is "my ability and desire to fuck you takes precedence over your pain." I'm 100% sure you would be upset if you had to take some med with potential negative side effects and she was this flippant about it. ######


Prompt:
My son (15M) is very social, he has many friends and he talks to me a lot about some problems, school etc.

My husband feels he favours me then him, and I have tried to do something things to set them up. Like fishing, but he hates it, and hates doing it and sometimes the 2 have fights about it. Hunting, my husband likes hunting , son does not, and they even have more fights about how my husband "forces" him to like it.

But for some reason our son was very quiet and sad for a few dags, wouldn't tell me why.

Anyway, my husband was looking for something in my son's room and he found a diary. Me and him were so surprised, since our son has never mentioned this before.

Anyway I did tell him to put it back, but he told me it wouldn't hurt to see anything that would explain his behaviour. I was curious and worried so I let him.

Not going to say what we found out, but it was really big and understandble why our son was sad, so I told my husband not to say anything to him.

Well he didn't listen, and tried to help our son yesterday to deal with and, and he went ballistic. Told us that we shouldn't have done that, called us horrible parents, took it, and now he's treating us like strangers, and isn't the same again. And for the first time in a long time, he has been mad at me for longer than 2 days, no matter what I do. I've done everything, baked him a cake (which he did say thank you but it was obvious he didn't care), gave him space, brought him gifts. Nothing! My husband told him that he was worried, and that we just wantef to help him, but again they had another fight.

I really just wanted to know what happened with his behaviour, I was worried.

Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA.

>and now he's treating us like strangers, and isn't the same again

And he may well never be.

Let me share with you a story. My father once did almost exactly this, except that instead of a diary it was Myspace messages.

I don't trust him any more. The end.

Interesting story?

What your husband did, and what you supported, is probably the largest breach of trust your son has ever experienced. He knows that he can no longer count on privacy around you two.

If you even want a *chance* at fixing this, you both need to talk to him, together. You need to explicitly tell him that you were wrong for reading his diary, that you disrespected his privacy, that you understand why what you did was wrong, that you'll never do it again, and that you want him to feel like he can be secure in his personal thoughts and belongings around you. And it wouldn't hurt to go buy him a cheap fireproof safe to which only he has the keys to prove your point. ######


Prompt:
My son (15M) is very social, he has many friends and he talks to me a lot about some problems, school etc.

My husband feels he favours me then him, and I have tried to do something things to set them up. Like fishing, but he hates it, and hates doing it and sometimes the 2 have fights about it. Hunting, my husband likes hunting , son does not, and they even have more fights about how my husband "forces" him to like it.

But for some reason our son was very quiet and sad for a few dags, wouldn't tell me why.

Anyway, my husband was looking for something in my son's room and he found a diary. Me and him were so surprised, since our son has never mentioned this before.

Anyway I did tell him to put it back, but he told me it wouldn't hurt to see anything that would explain his behaviour. I was curious and worried so I let him.

Not going to say what we found out, but it was really big and understandble why our son was sad, so I told my husband not to say anything to him.

Well he didn't listen, and tried to help our son yesterday to deal with and, and he went ballistic. Told us that we shouldn't have done that, called us horrible parents, took it, and now he's treating us like strangers, and isn't the same again. And for the first time in a long time, he has been mad at me for longer than 2 days, no matter what I do. I've done everything, baked him a cake (which he did say thank you but it was obvious he didn't care), gave him space, brought him gifts. Nothing! My husband told him that he was worried, and that we just wantef to help him, but again they had another fight.

I really just wanted to know what happened with his behaviour, I was worried.

Aita? ######

Response:
 YTA.

> I've done everything, baked him a cake (which he did say thank you but it was obvious he didn't care), gave him space, brought him gifts.

I’m sorry, but this is almost comical. You don’t repair broken trust with cake and gifts. Trust takes seconds to break but immense effort and time to rebuild. You are being completely unreasonable to expect him to forgive you in 2 days. I urge you to look up prior posts on Reddit about parents reading their children’s diaries. This is something people hold onto for *years.* ######


Prompt:
Throw away because my girlfriend is on Reddit and knows my account.

Yesterday, my girlfriend showed me a building she was building in Minecraft. I asked her if I can look around the place, and when she went to the bathroom, I found a lot of TNT in one of the chests and thought it would be funny to prank her by exploding the place.

When she came back and saw it, she got **extremely** upset, almost as upset as one would be if they got their real house burned down. She even cried, and she now won't talk to me.

I thought it was just a game and not worth getting that angry over. I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life. It was meant to be a prank, but she's turning it to big deal. ######

Response:
 YTA.

> I think she's so invested in it to the point that she cares about her Minecraft cat more than actual people in her life.

Maybe it's because the people in her life are assholes who destroy things she put a lot of work into? ######


Prompt:
Some background:

My cousin and my aunt have been staying with my parents and I for a little over a month. She separated from my uncle and had to leave the house .
I live in my parents basement apartment and when I was working and going to school I only saw them briefly. Now that we are home together, I have been taking to them more.

I typically walk my dog a mile or so in the morning and 2 miles in the evening. She has been getting longer walks lately, and last week I asked my cousin if he wanted to come along for a walk with us. We walk at a quick pace but not super fast. As we were walking my cousin started getting very winded. At this point my Fitbit said that we had only walked .6 of a mile.

He doesn’t have asthma or anything, so I was really confused about him being tired. I’m 20 (so only a few years older than him) and I make this walk without even thinking about it daily. I let him rest for a minute then we proceeded walking. About .3 of a mile later he needed to stop again. I live in a hilly neighborhood, but I still think the stopping was a bit excessive for someone his age.

Without thinking I was like, “wow bro you’re really unhealthy.” He got upset and went back home. I continued my walk. When I got back everyone was mad at me, my parents yelled at me, and my mom even instructed me *not to talk to him* which I think is silly.

Now that time has passed, my aunt says that my cousin is developing “food anxiety” and doesn’t want to eat what she prepares for him. I have also noticed that he has been doing things to lose weight like jump roping and stuff.

My parents and my aunt are blaming his anxiety on me, and saying that I’m a bully. They want me to apologize for what I said to him. I do think I was a bit blunt, but am I really the asshole for telling him he’s unhealthy? ######

Response:
 YTA.

> I make this walk without even thinking about it daily.

Yeah, but if you'd never done it before?  You'd probably need to work up to it at least a little.  And something tells me your idea of a "brisk pace" doesn't necessarily match up with what someone who doesn't have a daily routine might be prepared for.

At any rate, regardless of what you might have intended (or didn't stop to consider as a potential long-term consequence), you've clearly triggered something in your cousin that may or may not be a healthy response to the problem.  At least check in with him and make sure he's doing it right. ######


Prompt:
My daughter \[14F\] has been drawing ever since she was 9. Her drawings are really good and I am honestly impressed by how realistic she manages to draw certain things on her iPad. My son \[10M\] also wants to start drawing and hopes to become as good as his sister. I told him to use his sisters cartons and crayons to start practicing and that next week (this Monday) I will buy him too.

Well, yesterday he wasted a lot of his sisters cartons because he kept failing while he was attempting to draw until his sister had enough and told him that this is the last carton she’s giving him. After she gave him the last carton he finally started drawing with attention and probably spent an hour and a half on it. When he was done he came to me and showed me what he did. I honestly couldn’t tell what animal he attempted to draw based on his painting but in the end I assumed it was a dragon since it was breathing fire. He asked me about my opinion and I told him that I honestly think the art was bad and he shouldn’t have wasted all his sisters cartons for it but also not to worry about it because with enough practice he is going to become good at drawing. My husband was mad about my response and told me that I should have just said it was good and encourage him to continue (I did though) and that his art was actually pretty good for a beginner.

I thought my response to my son was reasonable because although I told him his drawing was bad I still encouraged him to keep going and not give up, that was until today when he came to me and told me not to buy him the art supplies because he doesn’t want to draw anymore. I felt bad because I feel like it’s my fault and my husband obviously didn’t lose the opportunity to call me out for it. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA.

You say you're very proud of how hard he's tried.

You say it's beautiful. Because the start of any hobby is.

You don't tell him it's a waste. Now he's going to feel guilty...

Congratulations. You'll only have one artist. ######


Prompt:
I am a landlord in a relatively small city in New England (less than 15,000 year-round residents). I inherited several rental properties but my company has been steadily growing so that we are now the largest property holders in the city and control roughly 60% of residential rentals. This problem has cropped up over the years and I alway feel very torn about it, as I can see both sides of the argument and thought I would see what the Internet has to say....

I NEVER rent to friends/family. No exceptions. In the beginning of my career I leased an apartment to a friend who wasn’t the most qualified and subsequently lost her job. I gave her way more slack than I would normally give anyone, but at the end she ended up owing almost $8000 in rent and I had to evict her and her family. It obviously destroyed the relationship, hurt my business and I was vilified to mutual friends. Since then, I have never done it again.

The issue is that it is a very tight rental market, our city has a shortage of rentals and we often receive 50+ applications for a 2 bedroom apartment. A few times over the years, I’ve been approached by friends who need a rental, people who are qualified, have good jobs and great history with other landlords in the city, people I would have happily rented to if they weren’t my friends/family. AITA for not renting to them just because I know them? I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just value my relationships and this dynamic (them owing me $1000+ a month/calling me to chat oh and also their faucet is leaking) would almost certainly change things between us. Let me have it, AITA??? ######

Response: YTA... it would be different if you owned 3 houses but you’ve kinda got a monopoly on the market here.. ######


Prompt:
Me and my daughter have been haven’t been getting along so well recently and I feel as though I’ve been under-appreciated because she doesn’t seem to realise how much I really do around the house. I’m a single parent (there’s just us in the house) with disabilities that stop me from doing certain things such as taking clothes upstairs and putting them away or doing the dishes etc... So my daughter does these things; she also vacuums around the house, cleans the bathroom the majority of the time, sweeps in the kitchen, looks after our pets... However, recently, she’s been spending a lot of the time in her room doing school work, which I know she is quite stressed about, and she’s not been keeping up with her chores around the house.

I’ve been spending a lot of the week at my friend’s workplace and helping her with certain things while my daughter has been at home. I was hoping she’d maybe do some jobs while I was out but I’ve been coming home to see the bare minimum, she’d only vacuumed and put washing on the dryer. I’d just given up so I refused to do anything and waited for my daughter to notice.

I’ve seen her become more and more stressed throughout the week. Yesterday, we sat down to watch a film and by the end of it she was annoyed because I was on my phone most of the time and asked her to tell me what happened- she usually doesn’t get annoyed by this and I told her that she used to do it all the time so why shouldn’t I? I’m the adult, not her. The dog has also chewed one of her last pairs of glasses this week, they were her favourite.

I felt like my point was finally getting across so I told her this morning about what I’ve been doing. She seemed shocked and upset but I’ve been dealing with her behaviour for weeks, I told her to put herself in my shoes and she just ignored me. She apologised but I have a feeling she’s still upset.

So, Reddit, am I the a-hole? ######

Response:
 YTA...

You treat your daughter like a maid.

Your daughter is under extreme pressure with her exams.

Instead of helping her with the workload, you went to help a friend.

You came home and acted like a spoilt child.

The term parenting means the clue is in the title.

You are her parent. She is not yours.

Grow up. Hire help if you need it. She is not supposed to be your carer,  housemaid and daughter all in one.

Stop complaining about the housework and let her focus on her future. Your selfish.

I cant see in this what exactly you do around the home? Seems she does all the work.

Get your friend over to help you.

YTA over and over... ######


Prompt:
My cousin Luke (fake name) has always been a bit on the feminine side. He changed his gender to become a female last month. He now wants to go by the name Lucy.

Him and his parents came over for lunch and we were all talking. I told them about how my exams were going and how I bought my first car last week. After we all spoke, I asked Luke how he was doing and he told me that he wanted to be called Lucy. Now, most of my extended family were against Luke wanting to transition  as they felt that it wasn't normal. I told him that I prefer calling him Luke as it felt weird calling him by a different name.

He got upset and told me that I was being rude to him. My father got involved telling us to behave like men and stop squabbling between eachother. The rest of the family kept quiet. After about 10 minutes, him and his family left. My mum told me that I shouldn't have been rude like that and just called him by his new name just to please him . But at the same time, my father told me that I shouldn't call him by the new name. AITA? ######

Response:
 YTA...

Its really saddening that you have to come here to have it spelled out for you.

You don't know what your cousin is going through inside.. the absolute LEAST you can do is call them by their preferred name, especially considering that the rest of the family is clearly not supportive of them.  My heart breaks for Lucy, tbh ######


Prompt:
Me (20f) and my sister (22f) fought yesterday and im not sure if im in the wrong here.

So my sister is already working in another city, but since the lockdown happened she decided to stay here with the family. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years because she found out he is cheating on her. We all comforted her and stuff. Its been a week now and she has become a very shitty person.

She doesnt have her own room in our house anymore because we turned her old room into an office. I offered my room because i do have a big bed. But she chose to sleep in my mom's tiny bed. (My mom sleeps alone in her tiny bed).

My mom woke me up last night to ask me if she can sleep in my room, i said yes of course. She said she's so sleepy for hours but my sister wont get up in her bed because she's too "depressed"

This morning i was in the shower while my mom slept on my bed, when i got out of the shower my sister is beside her and just moping around while she's trying to sleep. I know my mom is exhausted and just needed a few hours to rest. I became very annoyed at my sister and told her "get the fuck out of my room, you already took mom's bed, why are you here". She cried, left, and slammed the door. My mom woke up and is now doing chores. Im now more upset because she has woken up our mom and i know she just wanted to rest for a few hours.

Me and my mom have been avoiding her for days now because like i said, she has been very annoying lately.

I know its very difficult to break up with someone you loved for seven whole years. But do you really have to be a very crappy person??? We were supportive of her but now nobody in this house talks to her except my brother. Am i the asshole here???? ######

Response: YTA.. You say that you were "very supportive of her' in one line and then you tell her to F off, avoid her and you think she is a crappy person? Her life has had 3 major upheavals (r/ship, home & COVID) maybe offer her a shoulder to lean on and a bit of support and you might actually improve your relationship and potentially help her out of a dark place ❤❤ She is family after all. I'd love to have a sister! ######


Prompt:
I didn’t pay for it all me and my brothers chipped into it and helped buy her a new car (which is essential to her right now). My wife doesn’t need a new car right now as much she she might want one. Her car is a little old (2012) and has had some problems but I fixed those issues.

My wife’s angry and bitter right now. She also has her own job, so I don’t think it’s my responsibility to buy her a new car right now. I make more money than her but still, she doesn’t absolutely need one right now.

She told me she can’t believe she’s been asking me for awhile and I “go behind her back” and do this for my mom, like she’s just a stranger.

Who is in the wrong? ######

Response:
 YTA..

You didnt bother telling her you were doing it-  sneaky or  terrible communication?

That's a large amount if money to take from the family without some kind of discussion.   Even if you knew for sure it wouldn't hurt anything, its basic courtesy to confirm that everyone is okay with the purchase.

You dismiss your wife's desire for a car.  She's an adult and should have some say when she gets a car.  It sounds like you are the ruler making that decision by yourself. ######