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Female orgasms: Different types &amp; how to climax
Medically Reviewed
None
What is a female orgasm?

First things first, you might be curious about what an orgasm actually is . And there’s a fairly simple top-line answer: It’s one of your body’s responses to reaching the height of sexual arousal (or being turned on).

“During orgasm, the uterus and muscles of the pelvic floor contract in a rhythmic fashion that is pleasurable for most women,” explains Dr. Brandye Wilson-Manigat , obstetrician and gynecologist (OB-GYN), California, US. This can feel like throbbing, twitching, tensing, or spasms in your vagina and anus. “Some women report a sensation of their whole body being involved in the contractions.”

Orgasms don’t just happen out of the blue. They can feel like a buildup of pleasure and sexual tension. And that’s because orgasm is just one part of your body’s sexual response cycle . Prepare for some sexy science now; there are different phases when you’re feeling frisky.

Desire: Having the urge to be intimate with a partner or alone. Your heart rate might quicken, and the blood flow to your vagina will increase. This pushes fluid to the surface of your vaginal walls, giving you the sensation of being wet.

Excitement or feeling turned on: Your heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure will continue to increase, and you might notice that your clitoris and labia (the inner and outer lips of your vulva) start to feel more sensitive.

Orgasm: This is the big O. The muscles in your vagina, uterus, and anus will contract (it might feel like a squeezing sensation), and you might feel a quick release of sexual tension.

Resolution: This is when your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing return to normal, and you might notice a warm feeling of well-being or satisfaction.

Did you know that no two orgasms are the same? They can vary in length and intensity (but more on that below).

What happens during female orgasms, and what does it feel like?

Trying to explain what an orgasm feels like to other people can be really tough.


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They can vary in length and intensity (but more on that below).

What happens during female orgasms, and what does it feel like?

Trying to explain what an orgasm feels like to other people can be really tough. We rarely have anything that we can compare our own orgasms to, and like falling in love, people often say you “just know” when you’ve had one. You might even notice that climaxing feels different to you each time. This is totally typical and healthy.

"Orgasms can feel different, even if you are stimulating the same spot in the same way,” says Dr. Wilson-Manigat. “Some are more like a ‘fireworks on the Fourth of July’ sensation. Your whole body feels like it’s at a celebration. Others may feel like a slow burn, giving you a warm, satisfying sensation.”

While it might feel like all the action of your orgasm is taking place in your genitals, there’s a lot going on in your brain, too. When you orgasm, your brain releases a surge in dopamine , the feel-good hormone. This helps you to recognize what you enjoy and gives you that sense of pleasure. Your brain also releases oxytocin . This is sometimes called the bonding hormone because it triggers a sense of love and attachment.

Sounds pretty amazing, right? This surge in happy hormones is just one reason why reaching the big O is good for you. Keep reading to find out why.

What are the different types of female orgasms?

You might have heard your friends talk about an amazing nipple orgasm or an intense anal orgasm and wondered whether these are different types of orgasms. Here’s your answer: This is actually a little bit of a myth. “When people say there are different types of female orgasms, they usually mean which erogenous zone was stimulated for orgasm,” explains Dr. Sara Twogood , obstetrician and gynecologist, California, US. “It’s not that the orgasm itself is different; it’s the way the orgasm is achieved is different.”

So let’s break that down. If you stimulate different parts of your body, you might reach orgasm.


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“It’s not that the orgasm itself is different; it’s the way the orgasm is achieved is different.”

So let’s break that down. If you stimulate different parts of your body, you might reach orgasm. Areas that can help you to orgasm are:

Clitoris: According to a survey published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , around 36% of the 1,000 women they spoke to said they needed some form of clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. You can see part of your clitoris just above the opening of your vagina. It pays to know where your clitoris is, so you can learn more about yours here.

Vagina: This is when you climax during vaginal penetration. A study found that only 18% of female orgasms come from vaginal stimulation.

Anus: You might experience an anal orgasm while having the outside of your anus touched.

Erogenous zones: You have erogenous zones all over your body. These are places where it feels really good to be touched. Some erogenous zones include your breasts, lips, neck, and thighs.

No matter where you’re being touched, if you reach orgasm, your body responds in the same way. But it’s so important to remember that there’s no “right” type of orgasm — we all experience sexual pleasure in different ways. It’s very healthy to explore what you like either on your own or with a partner you trust.

Where does the G-spot come in?

In your conversations about orgasms, you might have heard about the elusive G-spot, or the Grafenberg spot to give it its full name. Did you know that you might be able to feel your own G-spot? It’s thought to be inside your vagina on the upper wall . It swells when you’re feeling aroused and can feel bumpy, a little bit like a walnut.

Some people believe that you can reach orgasm by stroking and pressing on the G-spot. However, that’s still not certain where scientific evidence is concerned. In fact, some research has suggested that the G-spot doesn’t even exist and that it’s just part of the structure of the clitoris that’s inside your body.


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However, that’s still not certain where scientific evidence is concerned. In fact, some research has suggested that the G-spot doesn’t even exist and that it’s just part of the structure of the clitoris that’s inside your body. To learn more about your anatomy and the way your body works, you can download an app like Flo.

There’s no denying that the G-spot is a hotly debated topic. But when it comes to getting intimate with a partner or having fun alone, you don’t need to worry too much about pleasure politics. If you’ve found something that makes you feel good, then keep going.


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Orgasm & Female Orgasm: How many types of orgasm are there?

None
Top things to know about female orgasms:

There are multiple types of female orgasm

Stimulation of the clitoris is probably the easiest way for most people to experience an orgasm.

Not all orgasms are the same, and can experienced differently every time depending on how our mind and body feels at that time

Orgasms are difficult to study. Similar to studying mood or pain, female* orgasms need to be interpreted through not just biological mechanisms but also psychological, sociological and historical trends.

Historically, in Western countries, female orgasms have been highly scrutinized. Orgasms were sometimes seen as unhealthy or wrong. And orgasms that are achieved through stimulation that is not heterosexual vaginal intercourse have been considered unacceptable by researchers and doctors (1,2).

The viewpoint that some orgasms were superior to others has been supported by healthcare professionals. Sigmund Freud popularized the idea that mature women experience vaginal orgasm while immature women enjoyed clitoral stimulation (1-3).

The importance of vaginal orgasm became so rooted in 20th-century health that an inability to reach orgasm through heterosexual penetrative sex became part of a diagnosable condition in the DSM III (i.e. psychology and psychiatry’s diagnostic book) (4).

Although most healthcare professionals no longer consider inability for penetrative sex to induce orgasm to be a problem (unless their patients are distressed by it), many people feel that orgasm is a requirement for happy, meaningful and/or fulfilling sex (2). Some people also feel that orgasms should be reserved for sex, as opposed to experiencing orgasm during masturbation (1). Orgasm is great, but feeling pressure to have an orgasm, or a certain type of orgasm at a certain time, can make sex stressful and unpleasant.

What kind of research is there about orgasms?

The historical and social aspects of orgasm can obscure research as researchers may bias respondents’ answers by asking questions that imply that an orgasm type exists.

Relatedly, there is a disagreement among some sex researchers about how to classify orgasms (3,5).


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Relatedly, there is a disagreement among some sex researchers about how to classify orgasms (3,5). For example, if stimulation of a non-genital body part causes the genitals to become aroused and the person experiences an orgasm, did the stimulation of the non-genitals cause the orgasm, or was it the arousal of the genitals that caused the orgasm?

Even if a researcher were to do a study using tools that measure arousal, this doesn’t avoid all problems.

People with female genitals have been shown to experience arousal in their genitals but not report arousal to researchers, suggesting that bodily arousal is insufficient indicator of sexual interest or pleasure (5).

Compounding researcher problems are problems of gathering participants for sex and orgasm studies. Enrolling participants in a study is always tricky, but when someone studies a topic that is potentially considered taboo or private, it can be difficult to ensure that your sample is representative of all people in all cultures (this is also called external validity). It also may be difficult for participants to accurately remember or know where and how they were stimulated to cause orgasm (5).

So, why talk about orgasms at all?

Given the large amount of social and media commentary on orgasm, it’s important to understand how our bodies and the bodies of our partners actually work so that we can help reduce stigma and stress during sex. In the process, we may learn a thing or two on how to make sex more enjoyable.

What are the different types of female orgasms?

Different types vs different stimuli

There are many pop-science articles (i.e. articles not published in a research journal) that claim there are anywhere from four to 15 different types of orgasms. As mentioned before, there’s a lot of debate as to how to classify female orgasms. However, there’s little evidence to support the idea that different stimuli reliably (i.e. repeatedly, under experimental conditions) cause different types of female orgasms or different intensity of orgasms. Most people report that “some orgasms are better than others” (6), but this doesn’t necessarily seem to be related to the stimuli that cause that orgasm.


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Most people report that “some orgasms are better than others” (6), but this doesn’t necessarily seem to be related to the stimuli that cause that orgasm.

Clitoral stimulation

The clitoris contains a bundle of nerve endings and is located in the front of the female vulva and under the clitoral hood (i.e. the triangle part of female genitals that connects to the labia) (3). The clitoris, similar to a penis, will swell, enlarge and become more sensitive as a person becomes more sexually aroused (3,5).

Stimulation of the clitoris is probably the easiest way for most people to experience an orgasm.

In a 2017 study of over 1,000 women from the US, about 7 out of 10 people who had heterosexual sex said that they required clitoral stimulation to orgasm during that sex or that clitoral stimulation improved orgasms even if they didn’t require it to orgasm (6,7).

The type of clitoral stimulation preferred varied among the women in the study, though many women reported enjoying direct clitoral stimulation and stimulation that involved making circles or “up-and-down” movement (6).

That being said, there was a wide diversity in answers regarding how and in which ways a person liked having their clitoris stimulated, with even a few people saying they didn’t like direct contact at all (6).

Vaginal stimulation

A vaginally-stimulated orgasm is an orgasm that occurs through intentional stimulation of only the vagina. Although the clitoris or other body parts may be accidentally touched in the process, to have a “vaginal orgasm" there would be no intentional stimulation of other body parts.

In the same study described above, less than 1 in 5 women reported being able to orgasm through vaginal stimulation without clitoral stimulation (6).

The ability to orgasm from only vaginal sex may be related to the G-spot, though that is up for debate. The G-spot is not well understood (5,8,9). The G-spot may be its own structure, but it has also been argued that the G-spot is actually a retracted or enlarged clitoris or is a set of nerve endings attached to the clitoris (5,8,9).


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The G-spot may be its own structure, but it has also been argued that the G-spot is actually a retracted or enlarged clitoris or is a set of nerve endings attached to the clitoris (5,8,9). It’s also argued that the G-spot doesn’t exist at all (3,5). Regardless, there isn’t evidence to suggest that an orgasm from penetration-only is somehow superior to other forms of orgasm; in fact, intentional clitoral stimulation may make orgasm better than penetration-only orgasm (6).

Stimulation of other body parts

There is less research into orgasms caused by stimulation of body parts that aren't the genitals. Because many of these studies are small and aren’t all recent (10), the proportions of people reporting these types of orgasms may not be representative of the rate we would find in a large, representative survey. That being said, these studies do suggest that people don't necessarily need to directly stimulate their clitoris or vagina to experience an orgasm.

Some studies have found that people can experience orgasm through stimulation of the mouth, nipples, breasts, anus, and skin surrounding an injury (6,10).

Research with participants who have severe injuries to the spinal cord and with participants who have epileptic seizures suggest that there are orgasmic experiences that may be induced without direct incorporation of the genitals (10).

Orgasms outside of sex

Arousal of the genitals and even orgasm itself aren’t necessarily just experiences that happen during sex.

Exercise-induced orgasm

Exercise, especially weight training, cardio, and abdominal-focused exercise, can induce orgasms (sometimes called coregasms in pop-science) and other positive genital stimulation (11). This makes sense biologically, as both exercise and sex can stimulate the muscles around the genitals and can lead to increased blood flow to the area of the body. Exercise may also influence our mood via endorphins and other neurotransmitters (12), similar to sex and orgasm (13).

Orgasms during sleep

Many people experience sexual arousal or orgasm during sleep (10). It’s difficult to say what or how exactly this happens. Because reporting from dreams can be unreliable, it’s difficult to say if all arousal and orgasms during sleep are caused by sexual dreams (10,11).


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It’s difficult to say what or how exactly this happens. Because reporting from dreams can be unreliable, it’s difficult to say if all arousal and orgasms during sleep are caused by sexual dreams (10,11). Similarly, no research has currently looked at whether people were unconsciously stimulating their bodies during sleep or were being stimulated by bedding or other objects, so we’re not currently able to say if orgasms during sleep happen entirely unaided from stimulation (10).

Better orgasms

The goal of many orgasm-themed articles is to help people enjoy their orgasm or gain new experiences. Although there’s little evidence to suggest that orgasm from any particular type of stimulation is better than another, there are some suggestions in the literature on factors that increase or change our orgasmic experience. In the published literature, people reported that orgasms and sexual arousal were enhanced by:

“spending time to build-up arousal” (6)

changing the intensity of touch, including stopping and restarting—this technique could help lead to a delayed and more pleasurable orgasm (6)

being with a partner who they had a connection with or that knew their bodies (6)

touching or stimulating nipples, breasts, or the anus (6,10,14),

engaging in new positions, types of sex, or new behaviors (6,15)

A happy sex life

Although portrayals of orgasm in media, partners’ expectations for our orgasms, and our own interest in experiencing orgasm can make us feel like we need to have an orgasm every time we have sex (2), a happy sex life doesn’t necessarily mean having a mind-blowing orgasm during every sexual experience. Many people report that not all orgasms are the same (6), which makes sense—our minds and bodies change from day to day (due to mood, health, stress levels, etc.), and so it’s unrealistic to expect any type of stimulation to elicit the same experience every time. Orgasm is just one of many important elements to sexual satisfaction.

*Note: This article uses the term female and male to refer to cis-gendered sexual anatomy.


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Orgasm is just one of many important elements to sexual satisfaction.

*Note: This article uses the term female and male to refer to cis-gendered sexual anatomy. A person with entirely or partially female genitals may or may not be female as their gender, and a person with entirely or partially male genitals may or may not be male as their gender. There are also people with a mix of both male and female genitals, but unfortunately not a lot of research has been done with this population. I’m using the terms male and female to describe sexual organs because there is little agreement on other terms to use.

Article was originally published May 20, 2018.


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Blowjobs: What Are They and How to Give One

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What Is a Blowjob?

Oral sex is the act of stimulating a partner’s genitals or anus with your mouth and tongue. A blowjob, sometimes called fellatio, is a type of oral sex in which a person stimulates their partner’s penis with their mouth and tongue. It can include licking, sucking, kissing, or any other activity that involves the mouth.

A blowjob, also known as fellatio, is when someone uses their mouth to stimulate their partner's penis. (Illustration: WebMD)

Blowjobs, along with other types of oral sex, are often part of foreplay before vaginal or anal penetration. But you can give or receive a blowjob on its own, or during or after intercourse.

Research suggests that most people have oral sex before their first experience with vaginal or anal penetration.

Who can give and receive blowjobs?

Any consenting adult can give a blowjob, whatever their gender or sexual orientation. Any consenting adult with a penis can receive a blowjob.

What is it like to give or receive a blowjob?

Sensations could range from discomfort to extreme pleasure, so focus on what feels good for both partners while you’re discovering oral sex. Keep in mind that each person's anatomy, smell, and taste are different, and so is what they find pleasurable. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, don’t be afraid to stop or change what you're doing, or to ask your partner to do so.


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Female Orgasm: Types, Feeling, and How to Have One
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, How We Reviewed This Article
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You can orgasm from stimulation to the clitoris, vagina, or cervix — or some combination of the three. You may also be able to orgasm from stimulating other areas of the body as well. “Female orgasm” is an all-encompassing term for any type of orgasm related to vulva and vagina. It could be clitoral, vaginal, even cervical — or a mix of all three. That said, your genitalia isn’t your only option when it comes to reaching the big O. Read on for tips on where to touch, how to move, why it works, and more.

Clitoral orgasm Direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris can lead to a clitoral orgasm. When you get your rub on just right, you’ll feel the sensation build in your pleasure bud and peak. Try this Your fingers, palm, or a small vibrator can all help you have a clitoral orgasm. Make sure your clitoris is wet and begin gently rubbing in an up-and-down, circular, or side-to-side motion. As it begins to feel good, apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion. When you feel your pleasure intensify, apply even more pressure to the motion to take yourself over the edge.

Vaginal orgasm Although few people can climax with vaginal stimulation alone, it sure can be fun trying! If you’re able to make it happen, prepare for an intense climax that can be felt deep inside your body. The front vaginal wall is also home to the anterior fornix or A-spot. Older research suggests that stimulating the A-spot can result in intense lubrication and even orgasm. Try this Fingers or a sex toy should do the trick. Since the pleasure comes from the vaginal walls, you’ll want to experiment with width. Do this by inserting an extra finger or two into the vagina, or try a dildo with some extra girth. To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out.


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To stimulate the A-spot, focus the pressure on the front wall of the vagina while sliding your fingers or toy in and out. Stick with the pressure and motion that feels the best, and let the pleasure mount.

Cervical orgasm Cervical stimulation has the potential to lead to a full-body orgasm that can send waves of tingly pleasure from your head to your toes. And this is an orgasm that can keep on giving, lasting quite a while for some. Try this Being relaxed and aroused is key to cervical orgasm. Use your imagination, rub your clitoris, or let a partner work some manual magic. Your cervix is the lower end of your uterus, so reaching it means going in deep. The doggy-style position allows for deep penetration, so try being on all fours with a penetrative toy or partner. Start off slow, gradually working your way deeper until you find a depth that feels good, and keep at it so the pleasure can build.

Combination or combined orgasm A combo orgasm may happen if you pleasure your vagina and clitoris simultaneously. The result: a powerful climax that you can feel inside and out. Try this Use both your hands to double your pleasure, or combine fingers and sex toys. Rabbit vibrators, for example, can stimulate the clitoris and vagina at the same time and are perfect for mastering the combo orgasm. Use parallel rhythms while playing with your clitoris and vagina, or switch it up with fast clitoral action and slow vaginal penetration.

You can orgasm from other stimulation, too The genitals are awesome, but they’re not your only option. Your body is full of erogenous zones with orgasmic potential. Nipple According to a 2011 study, when stimulated, your nipples set your genital sensory cortex ablaze. This is the same area of the brain that lights up during vaginal or clitoral stimulation. Nipple orgasms are said to sneak up on you and then explode in waves of full-body pleasure. Yes, please! Try this: Use your hands to caress and squeeze your breasts and other parts of your body, avoiding the nipples at first.


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Yes, please! Try this: Use your hands to caress and squeeze your breasts and other parts of your body, avoiding the nipples at first. Move on to teasing your areola by tracing it with your fingertips until you’re turned on, then show your nipples some love by rubbing and pinching them until you reach maximum pleasure. Anal You don’t need to have a prostate to have an anal orgasm. Anal play can be pleasurable for anyone if you have enough lube and take your time. You can indirectly stimulate erogenous zones within the vagina using a finger or sex toy. Try this: Apply ample lube with your fingers and massage it around the outside and inside of the anus. Slowly and gently insert your sex toy or finger into your anus. Start with a gentle in-and-out motion, then move in a circular motion. Alternate between the two and pick up the pace as your pleasure builds. Erogenous zones Your body is truly a wonderland. The neck, ears, and lower back, for example, are rich in erotically charged nerve endings begging to be touched. We can’t say exactly which parts of your body will drive you to the brink, but we can tell you that everyone has erogenous zones, and finding them is worth the effort. Try this: Take a feather or silky scarf and use it to find your body’s most sensitive areas. Get naked and relax so you can focus on every tingle. Take note of these spots, and try experimenting with different sensations, like squeezing or pinching. Practice makes perfect, so take pleasure in these areas and keep at it to see how far you can go.

Where does the G-spot come in? The G-spot is an area along the front wall of your vagina. For some people, it can produce a very intense and very wet orgasm when stimulated. Your fingers or a curved G-spot vibrator are the best way to hit the spot. Squatting will give you the best angle. Try this: Squat with the back of your thighs close to or touching your heels, and insert your fingers or toy into your vagina.


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Squatting will give you the best angle. Try this: Squat with the back of your thighs close to or touching your heels, and insert your fingers or toy into your vagina. Curl your fingers toward your belly button and move them in a “come here” motion. If you happen to find an area that feels especially good, keep going — even if you feel like you have to pee — and enjoy the full-body release.

What happens in the body when you orgasm? Everyone’s body is different, and so are orgasms. Some are more intense than others. Some last longer than others. Some are wetter than others. What physically happens during orgasm is: Your vagina and uterus contract rapidly.

You experience involuntary muscle contractions in other parts, like your abdomen and feet.

Your heart rate and breathing quicken.

Your blood pressure increases. You may feel a sudden relief of tension or even ejaculate.

What makes a female orgasm different from a male orgasm? It may be surprising, but they’re not all that different. Both involve increased blood flow to the genitals, faster breathing and heart rate, and muscle contractions. Where they typically differ is in duration and recovery — also known as afterglow. Female orgasm may also last longer, ranging from 13 to 51 seconds on average, while male orgasm often ranges from 10 to 30 seconds. People with a penis typically have a refractory phase. Orgasms aren’t possible during this period, lasting from minutes to days. People with a clitoris may also go through a similar phase. A 2009 study involving 174 university students found that 96% of female participants experienced hypersensitivity in the clitoris following orgasm. Remember, the range of the refractory phase varies from person to person. Your own experience is unique to you. Then there’s ejaculation. For a person with a penis, contractions force semen into the urethra and out of the penis. And speaking of ejaculation …

Is female ejaculation a thing? Yes! And it’s a fairly common thing. A 2013 research review of female ejaculation found that 10% to 54% of participants experienced ejaculation during orgasm.


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And speaking of ejaculation …

Is female ejaculation a thing? Yes! And it’s a fairly common thing. A 2013 research review of female ejaculation found that 10% to 54% of participants experienced ejaculation during orgasm. Ejaculation occurs when fluid is expelled from your urethral opening during orgasm or sexual arousal. The ejaculate is a thick, whitish fluid that resembles watered-down milk. It contains some of the same components as semen.

What’s the orgasm gap? The orgasm gap refers to the gap between the number of male and female orgasms in heterosexual sex, where those with female genitalia are getting the shorter end of the stick. A 2018 study on orgasms in heterosexual newlywed couples found that 87% of husbands and only 49% of wives reported consistently experiencing orgasms during sexual activity. Why the gap? Researchers don’t know for certain. Some argue it could be biological, while others blame cultural and societal perspectives and a lack of education when it comes to pleasure.

What can you try if you’ve never had an orgasm before? If you have a vulva and vagina, you know that real-life orgasms can be pretty different from what they show on TV. The first thing you should do is take the pressure off so you can enjoy yourself. Instead, take the time to get to know your body and concentrate on how it feels. You may find it helpful to: Get comfy somewhere you won’t be interrupted or distracted, like in bed or the bath.

Try reading an erotic story or using your imagination to get yourself in the mood.

Massage the fleshy area above your clitoris and the outer and inner lips of your vulva until you begin to get wet. You can also apply lube.

Start rubbing your clitoris over the hood and find a rhythm that feels good.

Rub faster and harder, increasing the speed and pressure to intensify the feeling until it releases. If you don’t orgasm, you can always try again. Trying new things is the best way to figure out what turns you on and how to orgasm.


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Oral Sex: 36 Tips, Techniques, Positions for the Vagina, Penis, Anus
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, How We Reviewed This Article
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Oral sex involves stimulating a partner’s erogenous zones with your mouth. Certain practices along with open communication may make the experience more pleasurable for both partners. Share on Pinterest

First things first Rest assured that, even if it’s your first dive, chances are you’ll be fine — everyone starts somewhere! But we want to make sure you’re more than fine, because life’s too short for oral that’s just meh. After all, if you’re gonna go down, you should do it right. Here’s what you need to know about the giving and getting of oral sex, plus all of the fun and even practical stuff in between.

Let’s set the record straight Before getting down to nitty, let’s talk about the gritty. Yes, oral sex is “real” sex Forget what you heard from Clinton or anyone else about what sex is and isn’t. Penis-in-vagina sex is not the be-all-end-all of sex. Oral sex can be just as pleasurable — if not more so — than penetrative sex. Your anatomy is unique Vulvas and penises come in all shapes and sizes, so try not to spend any time worrying about how yours compares to someone else’s. Vulvas rarely look like a perfectly juicy peach, and penises aren’t usually eggplant emoji-big or smooth. Everyone has a smell of some kind Scrub all you want, but you’ll still have some odor down there. It’s called your natural odor, and it’s fine. That said, freshening up before oral sex is just the nice thing to do. To keep things fresh: Take a shower or bath, or at least use soap and water to wash your genital area.

Use a wet paper towel or unscented wipes if you need to freshen up on the fly.

Avoid perfumes or deodorants down there because they aren’t genital-friendly or necessary. And everyone has a taste You know whose genital juice tastes like cookies and cream? No one’s!


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Avoid perfumes or deodorants down there because they aren’t genital-friendly or necessary. And everyone has a taste You know whose genital juice tastes like cookies and cream? No one’s! We all have a taste down there. As long as you’re healthy and on top of your hygiene, you should taste fine. If you’re still worried about funky spunk, tweaking what you eat may improve the taste of your juice. Avoid garlic, onions, asparagus, and cabbage, which reportedly make for a less-than-pleasant flavor. To sweeten your sauce, try eating: pineapple

papaya

nutmeg

cinnamon

celery

Oral screening should be a regular part of your care plan If you’re sexually active, you probably know that regular STI screening is important. But did you know that you should be getting regular oral exams, too? Your dentist can inspect your mouth to check for sores, lumps, or other abnormalities that could be a sign of an STI. Oral exams are also used to check for signs of oral cancer. Certain strains of HPV can cause oral cancer. You should see your doctor or dentist for at least one screening a year. See your provider right away if you’re experiencing unusual oral symptoms or suspect that you’ve been exposed to an STI.

If your partner has a vulva Common Qs Do you really flick the clit? You can! Lightly flicking the clit with your tongue can be a nice way to mix things up and build pleasure. Think soft puppy tongue licking an ice cream cone — not woodpecker destroying a tree. Should you insert your tongue or keep things penetration-free? That’s up to the person you’re going down on. Some people find the mere idea of being tongued hot AF, but fewer nerve endings in the opening means less sensation. If they like it then go to town. What if they’re on their period or pregnant? If they consent and you’re cool with it, too, then go for it. Things can get messy, so focusing on the clit is probably the better way to go.


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What if they’re on their period or pregnant? If they consent and you’re cool with it, too, then go for it. Things can get messy, so focusing on the clit is probably the better way to go. Know that blood can have an odor and a metallic taste. A dental dam can help if you’re squeamish. Technique Try this: With your tongue flat, lap long strokes over their underwear until you get the fabric — and them — wet. When they’re ready for tongue-to-skin action, spend a little time licking the fleshy mound above the clit. Show the inner thighs some love, too. Lay your wet tongue flat at the bottom of their vulva and lick your way up. Repeat. Flex your tongue and use the tip to lick tiny circles over the clitoral hood — the little flap of skin over the clit. Use your fingers to gently pull the hood upward so you can focus the tip of your flexed tongue on the clit. Start with light pressure and speed and gradually ramp things up. When you get into a groove that they love, keep at it to take them over the edge. Positions With a little determination and imagination, you can turn pretty much any penetrative sex position into an oral sex position. But to save you the neck cramps, we recommend these oral-friendly positions: Lie Back and Enjoy. Have them lie on their back with a pillow under their butt and legs apart while you lie or kneel in between with your face in the muff of it all.

Have them lie on their back with a pillow under their butt and legs apart while you lie or kneel in between with your face in the muff of it all. Control Freak. Lie on your back and have them straddle your face while facing you so they control the moves and pressure — and watch you work for it.

Lie on your back and have them straddle your face while facing you so they control the moves and pressure — and watch you work for it. Almost 69.


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Lie on your back and have them straddle your face while facing you so they control the moves and pressure — and watch you work for it. Almost 69. They get to straddle your face again, only this time they’re facing your main attraction and can return the favor in the way of some 69 action. Safety and cleanup The best barrier method you can use when giving oral to someone with a vulva is a dental dam. This is a thin latex barrier that you place over the vulva. You can order dental dams online or use a condom to create an alternative. Do a quick wash up before and after oral sex with soap and water or gentle wipes and you’re both good to go.

If your partner has a penis Common Qs What should you do if they’re uncircumcised? There’s not much difference in technique as far as circumcised vs. uncircumcised. If you start off with a hand job, let the foreskin move up and down with your hand. When you’re ready to get licky with it, gently pull the foreskin downward to expose the head. Do you have to deep throat? Nope, not unless you want to. Not going deep isn’t going to make or break an oral sesh. You can totally fake it by placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and sucking as much as you’d like without an unexpected gag. Should you spit, swallow, or keep ejaculate out of the mouth entirely? That’s something to discuss with your partner beforehand, but you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. If it’s a visual turn on for your partner, having them finish on your closed lips or chin — or wherever you’re comfortable with — should do the trick. Technique Give these moves a try: Start by using the tip of your tongue up and down the base of their shaft, pausing to circle it around their head.

Show the underside of the shaft some love and then lightly flick the frenulum — the little wrinkle of skin where the shaft joins the head — with the tip of your tongue.


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Show the underside of the shaft some love and then lightly flick the frenulum — the little wrinkle of skin where the shaft joins the head — with the tip of your tongue.

Lap up the entire length and repeat. Bonus points if you let them hear how much you enjoy doing it.

Hold the base of their shaft and take the rest in your mouth, then slowly slide up and down while sucking lightly.

Pick up the pace as their pleasure builds. Positions Again, with some imagination you can get your blow on in just about any position. Try giving these a go: Open Wide. Lie on your bed with your with head near the edge and open wide while they stand with their head facing your feet and penis over your mouth.

Lie on your bed with your with head near the edge and open wide while they stand with their head facing your feet and penis over your mouth. Sit and Suck. One chair, two ways. Have them sit on the chair while you kneel before them and take matters into your mouth, or you do the sitting while they stand with their legs on either side of the chair while you lean in.

One chair, two ways. Have them sit on the chair while you kneel before them and take matters into your mouth, or you do the sitting while they stand with their legs on either side of the chair while you lean in. Laidback Lovin’. By far the most comfortable BJ position ever and perfect for those lazy morning blow jobs. While they’re on their back, lie on your side and use their torso as a pillow while you use your mouth and hands. Safety and cleanup We’ve got two words for you: flavored condoms. Seriously, if you’re going for the safe blow job, flavored condoms reduce your risk for STIs while giving you something tasty to suck on. As for cleanup, a shower before and a wipe up after does the trick.

If your partner wants a rim job Common Qs Aren’t you going to get poop in your mouth? We aren’t gonna lie — it’s a possibility. Washing with a soft cloth and soap and water is usually enough to get rid of the traces of feces that linger in the anus.


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We aren’t gonna lie — it’s a possibility. Washing with a soft cloth and soap and water is usually enough to get rid of the traces of feces that linger in the anus. What do you do if there’s hair back there? No biggy. Just go with it, unless they want their bum shaved, but that’s a hole — er, whole — other article. Should you insert your tongue or keep things penetration-free? It’s all about your comfort level. You absolutely shouldn’t stick your tongue anywhere that you don’t want to. If they’re open to it, fingers and butt plugs can do the penetrating for you. Technique Try these start-to-finish moves: Start by licking and kissing their cheeks for a moment.

Lay your flat, relaxed tongue just below the hole and slowly lap up and down.

Point your tongue and use the tip to run circles around the hole, starting with little pressing and getting firmer and faster as their pleasure builds.

If you’ve agreed on penetration, now’s the time to do it by gently inserting a tongue, finger, or sex toy into the anus.

Continue to use your tongue on or between the cheeks or the perineum until they’re satisfied. Positions Doggy style is a rimming fave. It gives you equal control over the pressure and movement to find what works best for both of you. To do this, have them get on all fours while you kneel behind. They can rest their head on a pillow and lift or lower their bottom to meet your mouth. Safety and cleanup Dental dams, tongue condoms, or a regular condom used as a dam will all work for safe rimming. Trimmed nails and clean hands are also important if you’re going to use your fingers in or around the anus. A thorough cleaning of the area in the bath or shower using gentle soap and water is sufficient, but the recipient can also use an enema if they want to. Once you’re done, you can use an oral rinse or brush your teeth if you’d like. Washing your hands and face are probably a good idea, too.


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Once you’re done, you can use an oral rinse or brush your teeth if you’d like. Washing your hands and face are probably a good idea, too.

General tips Now that you’ve got the moves, here’s some final advice. Use these tips to make oral sex everything. Ask your partner Asking questions is key for making any kind of sex the best it can be. Be sure to ask for their clear consent before getting started. Asking what turns them on isn’t only helpful, but can also act as foreplay. Questions during oral are cool, too, so don’t be afraid to ask if something feels good while you’re doing it. Use your breath It’s hot and kinda moist, so of course it’s going to feel ah-mazing on their skin. Linger an inch above their skin and let your hot breath tease them into a frenzy. Make some noise Let them hear how much you’re enjoying what you’re doing. Moans, spitting, and slurping — it’s all good! Lock eyes Eye contact while you’re going down is sexy AF. It’s also a great way to gauge your partner’s reactions to your moves so you know what’s working and what isn’t. Put your hands to work Don’t be shy with those hands! Use them to spread the labia for better access to all the nooks and crannies, or to work the shaft like a pro while swirling your tongue around their head. Explore other areas Use your mouth, hands, or sex toys to explore their other erogenous zones during oral play to take it to another orgasmic level. Add lube to the mix Sure, your mouth is plenty juicy, but lube is fun for everyone! Flavored lubes can make oral sex tasty and can make hand action or toy play even better. Take it to the edge Edging, also called orgasm control, is the ultimate tease and the way to toe-curling orgasms. You work your magic to bring them to the edge of climax and then stop for about 30 seconds before starting up the stimulation again.


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11 Steps To Make A Woman Orgasm (The Basics & Beyond)
Https, Www.Facebook.Com Morganmandriotawriter
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Hartzell likes to refer to sex toys as the "hearing aid for the clitoris" because vibrators can help speed the process along and provide more intense orgasms that manual or oral stimulation may not offer. Experiment with different types of pleasure products and sensations before, during, or after penetrative sex to stimulate the clitoris and inspire maximum pleasure (and perhaps even multiple orgasms).


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Female orgasm: Everything you need to know
Zawn Villines, How We Reviewed This Article
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A female orgasm can be a highly pleasurable experience during masturbation or sexual activity. While orgasms may not provide a direct reproductive benefit, the pleasure may help improve mood and relieve stress. In this article, we look at why female orgasms occur and what happens during an orgasm. We also debunk some common misconceptions.

Causes Share on Pinterest honey and milk/Getty Images Orgasms are a response to sexual stimulation. The female orgasm can result from many types of stimulation, including vaginal, clitoral, and nipple contact. While vaginal orgasms are less common than those from clitoral stimulation, some women have them — with or without other stimulation. Not everyone orgasms from the same type of stimulation.

What happens during an orgasm? During arousal, blood flow to the genitals increases, causing them to become more sensitive. As arousal increases, a person’s heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate may also increase. As orgasm approaches, the muscles may twitch or spasm. Many women experience rhythmic muscle spasms in the vagina during an orgasm. Orgasms may follow the following stages: excitement, during which arousal builds

plateau, during which arousal increases and levels off

orgasm, which causes intense feelings of pleasure

resolution, during which arousal diminishes Many females can have another orgasm after resolution, whereas males usually require a period of rest before having another orgasm. A note about sex and gender Sex and gender exist on spectrums. This article will use the terms “male,” “female,” or both to refer to sex assigned at birth. Click here to learn more.

What does it feel like? Orgamsms can feel different for all people, and they may report their experiences in different language. However, people typically experience intense feelings of pleasure in the genitals and throughout the body. The release of endorphins following an orgasm may cause people to feel happy and relaxed. The skin may also flush. Women may also experience vaginal contractions during and after an orgasm, and ejaculation is also possible.

Why do females orgasm? The purpose of the female orgasm is less clear than that of the male orgasm.


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The skin may also flush. Women may also experience vaginal contractions during and after an orgasm, and ejaculation is also possible.

Why do females orgasm? The purpose of the female orgasm is less clear than that of the male orgasm. Researchers have suggested numerous potential benefits, but few have been rigorously tested, and no theory has conclusive scientific support. A 2016 study argues that the female orgasm may have no obvious evolutionary benefit and that it may be a relic of a time when the hormones associated with orgasm were necessary for a woman to ovulate. Since there was no evolutionary need to eliminate the female orgasm, it persisted even when it was no longer necessary for fertility. Orgasm may serve important purposes, however. The pleasure it can cause can encourage females to have sex. This may also promote bonding with a sexual partner, which does have significant evolutionary benefits.

Health benefits While the internet is filled with articles promising that orgasms improve skin, hair, and overall health, there is little scientific evidence that orgasms offer any specific health benefits. Scientists have not identified any evolutionary benefits of female orgasms or found that orgasms improve health. But orgasms are pleasurable, and pleasure can be its own benefit. Pleasurable sex may improve a person’s mood, relieve stress, boost immunity, and foster better relationships.

Common misconceptions People hold many misconceptions about female orgasms. Some myths include: Women who cannot orgasm have psychological problems. While trauma, relationship issues, and poor mental health can make it more difficult to orgasm, many people with healthy sexual attitudes and good relationships still have difficulties. An orgasm is both a physical and psychological response, and numerous health problems can make it more difficult to enjoy sex in this way. For example, some women experience vulvodynia, which refers to unexplained pain in the vagina or around the vulva. Treating this and other medical conditions may improve sexual pleasure. Orgasms from penetrative sex are common or the healthiest form of sexual expression. Self-appointed experts, mostly men, have long told women that they must orgasm from heterosexual intercourse. However, many women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Women need to be in love to orgasm.


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Self-appointed experts, mostly men, have long told women that they must orgasm from heterosexual intercourse. However, many women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Women need to be in love to orgasm. Orgasm is a complex psychological and biological experience — reaching and experiencing orgasm is not the same for every woman. Some women may need to feel love to orgasm, while others may not. Studies found people were more likely to orgasm frequently if they: received more oral sex

had longer-lasting sex

reported higher relationship satisfaction

asked for what they wanted in bed

engaged in sexual emails or calls

expressed love during sex

acted out sexual fantasies

tried new sexual positions A person’s relationship with their partner may or may not influence their ability to orgasm during sex. Sexual health resources Visit our dedicated hub for more research-backed information and in-depth resources on sexual health. A partner can tell if a woman has had an orgasm. There is no way to tell if a woman has had an orgasm without asking. Some people make noises during an orgasm, while others are silent. Some flush or sweat after an orgasm, but others do not. A person who wants to know if their partner has had an orgasm can ask without being confrontational. If the answer is no, avoid judgment, anger, or feelings of inadequacy — these can put pressure on the person to orgasm, which can lead to anxiety and make it more difficult. Instead, discuss whether they would prefer a different approach to sex.

What if you can’t orgasm? Being unable to orgasm is a common issue, and it can occur for a variety of reasons. Some people may not receive the right kind of stimulation during sex, while others may have experienced trauma linked to sex. Others may simply be uninterested.


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Some people may not receive the right kind of stimulation during sex, while others may have experienced trauma linked to sex. Others may simply be uninterested. Risk factors A 2018 analysis identified several factors that increase the risk of sexual dysfunction, including: relationship problems

stress

mental health issues

poor physical health

genitourinary issues, such as pelvic pain

a history of abortion

a history of female genital mutilation

sexual abuse

being religious, perhaps due to sexual shame and stigma The same study identified several modifiable risk factors that improve sexual experience, including: exercise

daily affection from a partner

a positive body image

sex education

intimate communication with a partner Increasing the likelihood The aforementioned study that compared orgasm frequency among people of various sexual orientations in the United States found that the following behaviors during sex increase the likelihood of women having an orgasm: deep kissing

genital stimulation during vaginal intercourse

oral sex Seeking help If self-help strategies do not work, a doctor who specializes in sexual dysfunction may be able to identify a problem, if there is one. Many medical issues can make having an orgasm difficult, including: a lack of lubrication

hormonal imbalances

pelvic pain

muscle dysfunction

a history of trauma When trauma or relationship problems make having an orgasm difficult, or when a person feels ashamed of sex or their desires, individual or couples counseling can help.


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27 Orgasmic Blow Job Tips To Make Your Man Explode!
Sean Jameson, Jenny Fox, Nathan James Diflora, Paul Baker, Bob C, Bj Queen, John Declair, Gaining Confidence, Veronica Smith, Ian Thomas
2020-08-12 00:06:15+00:00
This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.

On this page, you’re going to learn powerful ways to build up to your blow job, AND you’re going to learn 27 wonderful, orgasm-inducing blow job tips that will make your man’s eyes roll back into his head with pleasure. Click here to skip straight to these blow job tips and skip past the techniques on for building up to your blow job.

By the way, this page is the second chapter of the Blow Job Guide. Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide is here.

Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It begins by teaching you the techniques to orgasm easily and consistently. Then you'll learn how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. You can find out more here.

Building Up To Your BJ – Teasing & Tantalizing Your Man

Some men are ready and eager for sex or a blow job 24/7. But this isn’t true for all of them. In fact, some guys take a lot of coaxing just to turn them on and get them in the mood, and as your man ages, this becomes more and more of an issue [1].

Here are a few different ideas you should use to get him worked up before you even get physical with him:

Sexy Selfies – Sending your man a sexy selfie while he is at work or is in the gym is the perfect way to turn him on and get him ready for fun times ahead. Using an app like Snapchat is best if you don’t want to worry about the photos being stored on your phone. Check out this guide to taking sexy selfies for more tips.


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Using an app like Snapchat is best if you don’t want to worry about the photos being stored on your phone. Check out this guide to taking sexy selfies for more tips.

Dirty Texts & Sexting – While your man is at work or is just out of the house, try sending him some dirty texts, letting him know about what’s on your mind and what you are planning for later. It can be something filthy like, “I can wait to feel you explode in my mouth tonight.” Or it can be something a little more reserved like, “Can’t wait to see you later…and my lips can’t wait either ;)” Or you can describe in detail the blow job idea you’ve just learned and are going to perform on him.

You’ll get more great tips on sending your man sexy texts in this chapter of the Dirty Talking Guide.

Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.

Out & About – If you are both out in public together or at a dinner party where you can’t possibly be intimate, then it’s the perfect time to lean across and whisper something in his ear to get him thinking about what you’ve got planned for later. The Dirty Talking Guide will give you step-by-step advice, examples, and tips on what to say to tease, tantalize, and amp up the sexual tension with your man.

A General Guideline For Tantalizing Him – Often, guys get turned on by a lot of things that many women don’t find arousing [2], so keep this in mind when you are coming up with your own ideas and tactics to tease him and build up to a blow job.

This explains why your guy may love seeing a picture of you naked, even though seeing a snap of him naked doesn’t do much for you. It also explains why you might get crazy horny when reading erotica, while it might put your man to sleep.


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It also explains why you might get crazy horny when reading erotica, while it might put your man to sleep. In other words, just because something turns you on, it doesn’t mean it will turn him on, and vice-versa.

His Turn Ons – Your man may have certain turn-ons and triggers specific to him that massively ramp up the sexual tension and his anticipation. They could be literally anything from:

Reminding him of some very hot sex you’ve had together.

Whispering some “trigger” word or phrase in his ear.

Sensually touching specific parts of his body.

Looking at him in a certain way.

The key is knowing and understanding these specific turn-ons of his and then using them to get his mind thinking, longing for what you have planned later.

A Long Build Up – You can spend an hour teasing, tantalizing, and slowly building up to your blow job or… You can spend days doing it.

If you aren’t going to see your man for a while, you can start sending him dirty texts, sexy pics, and stories detailing what you plan on doing to him a number of days before seeing him.

The entire time, he’ll be thinking of you, desperate for what awaits.

Quick Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs? If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.

Not only will your man be eager for a blow job, but you may find that these things work to get you horny, too. Learn the things that our readers do to get horny.

Fellatio Foreplay

It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think [3], even if most men get turned on quicker than most women [4]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build-up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load [5]…and a bigger smile on his face.


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This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:

Hand Massage – This one is probably the easiest to get right. While you are kissing him or just talking to him or while you’re just physically close to him, put your hand on his crotch. So your hand should be resting on his briefs or his trousers. To make it smooth, start by first placing your hand on his leg and moving it up from there. Then just softly start massaging his penis and testicles outside of his trousers/briefs.

It’s as simple as softly running your hands over this area, but you can also get a little more aggressive by softly grabbing and squeezing his cock and balls and then releasing the pressure.

After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs.

Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.

Talking To Him On Your Knees – Another great blow job idea to build up to giving your man head is talking to him while on your knees.

You can start off with something simple like, “So what do you want me to do now, baby?” while holding his penis in your hands…you can be sure that he’s going to ask you to give him a blow job. He might even give you a tip for a great blow job that lets you know how he likes it!

As you become more confident and see his enthusiasm, you can start expanding your dirty talking, by

Telling him how much you are enjoying giving him oral sex.

That you can’t wait to taste his cum.

How giving him a blow job turns you on.

Of course, you can also talk dirty throughout your blow job too. The Dirty Talking Guide will teach everything you need to know about talking dirty.


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That you can’t wait to taste his cum.

How giving him a blow job turns you on.

Of course, you can also talk dirty throughout your blow job too. The Dirty Talking Guide will teach everything you need to know about talking dirty.

So Close – Another bj tip you can do to build up to your blow job is to work around his manhood first. So instead of just taking him into your mouth and giving him a blow job, you could:

Kiss around his crotch and groin.

Gently massage his balls using your tongue.

Softly “tickle” his testicles with the tips of your fingers.

Run your nails over his ass cheeks.

The Kiss Trail – A red hot blow job tip that allows you to move smoothly from kissing your husband to taking him in your mouth is to work slowly down from his lips to his penis by kissing your way down. So you can move from his lips to his neck to his chest to his stomach until you reach his groin area. Of course, this works way better if he is naked.

Along the way, you can pay attention to his most sensitive spots.

Read More: The Most Important Erogenous Zones.

If you want to learn more great foreplay tips, then make sure to check out the Bad Girls Bible Foreplay Guide here.

Should You Start Fast or Slow – It can be incredibly hot to rip your man’s pants off, and immediately take his penis in your mouth, working furiously to bring him to orgasm without much build up at all.

Sometimes we don’t have time for foreplay or may even risk getting caught. That’s one reason why people love quickies!

Read More: Quickies 101

On the other hand, it can also be super satisfying to tease him and slowly work up to your blow job, making your man squirm and beg you to hurry up as you spend minute after minute grazing and barely touching his penis before you finally take him into your mouth.

Both of these build ups can be hugely satisfying to your man, despite being so very different.

The key is applying them correctly to each situation, AND…

Making sure you don’t rely on just one tip for a great blow job.


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Both of these build ups can be hugely satisfying to your man, despite being so very different.

The key is applying them correctly to each situation, AND…

Making sure you don’t rely on just one tip for a great blow job.

Of course, you can try out any of the 22 foreplay techniques from this post to keep things varied.

So, the next time you are about to go down on your man, think:

What will he find more satisfying:

When you use a long, slow, drawn out build up where he is practically begging you to hurry up, or…

When you don’t have time for a build up, because all you can think of is taking him in your mouth.

Now let’s learn what blow job tips will drive your man wild…

Tips for a Good Blow Job

You’re both ready for the main event, now what do you do? Try these bj tips!

Flick The Frenulum



For many men, the most sensitive spot on their penis is their frenulum. The frenulum is the underside of the tip of their penis, where the glans joins his shaft [6].

An intensely pleasurable blow job tip that you can use on him is to use the tip of your tongue to apply a gentle flicking motion to it. While you are naturally going to stimulate his frenulum while sucking him (learn tips on sucking here and here) or just licking his penis (learn some oral sex licking techniques here), this technique is different as you will be focusing all your stimulation on a very specific point on his penis.

Flicking his frenulum can be the perfect way to start off your blow jobs before taking his entire dick in your mouth. You can flick it up-and-down, side-to-side, in circles, or by doing a combination of all three.

Bear in mind that if your man has been circumcised, there is a chance that his frenulum has been fully or partially removed [7].

Blowing Him

Many women are so anxious at the thought of giving head to their man that they just get straight to it with little or no build up and with no teasing. It’s like they are focused only on making him ejaculate and getting that sperm out of him.


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It’s like they are focused only on making him ejaculate and getting that sperm out of him.

Gently teasing your man and building up the sexual tension, so that he is practically begging you to blow him is vital if you want to take your blow jobs from good to great.

Another great way to amp up the sexual tension and have him squirming in delight is to lick him gently, making sure to use lots of saliva and then blow on the wet patch you’ve created. Blowing on the wet patch creates a cooling sensation that is great for teasing your man and making him moan with pleasure.

More tips on licking him here.

Try doing this for about a minute before you take him into your mouth.

Kiss, Kiss

Another great way to start off your blow job is by kissing his cock all over. Kissing is great if you like taking things slowly and teasing your man.

You can kiss his penis any way you want, but it will be a lot easier when you use your hand to hold it in place while you kiss it. There are multiple different ways to kiss his penis, from giving him small, quick ‘pecks,’ to giving him longer, more intense kisses. He’ll especially love it if you give him extra wet, sloppy kisses. Don’t be surprised if you can see precum or semen dripping from his cock at this stage.

You can also use this precum to wet your lips.

Kissing him is a fabulous way to pull back if you feel him getting close to climaxing and want him to wait a little longer before reaching orgasm. It will also give your jaw a rest if you find it getting tired from having him in your mouth.

The Thing With Teeth

You already know how sensitive your boyfriend’s penis is, especially the underside of the head [8]. For pleasuring it, this is obviously a good thing…but if you apply too much pressure, or you are too rough with it, then you’re going to hurt your man. It’s the same for your clit and vagina if you are masturbating, or your man is going down on you. Learn some orgasmic masturbation techniques from Chapter 2 of our Orgasm Guide.


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It’s the same for your clit and vagina if you are masturbating, or your man is going down on you. Learn some orgasmic masturbation techniques from Chapter 2 of our Orgasm Guide.

Just imagine how sore it would be if your boyfriend had nails that were constantly catching on you…or worse, can you imagine how painful it would be if he started using his teeth on you as he was licking you out and performing cunnilingus. It would be agony!

The only mandatory blow job tip when giving your man oral sex is that you absolutely must not use your teeth on him. It can completely ruin an otherwise fantastic BJ.

But what if he is particularly well endowed…or you have a small mouth?

In situations like this, it can be almost impossible to avoid using your teeth during a blowjob. The first thing you can do is to wrap your lips around your teeth so that your lips act as a soft barrier. The second thing is focusing on techniques where you don’t take him into your mouth like these ones or by giving him a handjob (learn everything you need to know about hand jobs in this guide).

Side note: There is a small percentage of men that enjoy it when you use your teeth and apply a tiny bit of pressure on his penis, using an almost featherlight touch on him. My advice is never to try this UNTIL your man mentions it himself.

Related: Why 92.6% Of Women Like Giving Blow Jobs [1,114 Woman Study]

Which Blow Job Position Is Best?

The position you use to give your man a blow job can be incredibly important…or not at all.

Here’s what I mean:

Submissive Positions – If you want to act submissive for your man when you blow him, then getting down on your knees or been pushed down by him, while he remains standing can feel quite submissive while your man feels dominant.

Looking up and making eye contact with him during your your blow job while on your knees can intensify this feeling of submission.

Having your hands cuffed behind your back, giving your man more control over you, can ramp this submissive feeling up to the max.

Dominant Positions – Of course, you could push your man down on the bed, so that he’s lying down on his back.


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Dominant Positions – Of course, you could push your man down on the bed, so that he’s lying down on his back. Then you straddle his head/shoulders and slowly lower yourself onto his mouth, commanding him to, “Lick It!” Finally, you lean forward to return the favor and start giving him a blow job in the 69 position.

To intensify this feeling, you can reach behind to his head, grab his hair, and pull him in towards your pussy.

Or you could tie his arms to the bed.

Exotic Positions – Alternatively, to spice up oral sex, you could just use a position that you’ve never used before.

The point that I’m trying to make is that the position you give your man a blow job in can add a lot to his pleasure (and yours too!).

The position you use becomes increasingly important if your man is someone who gets turned on visually…and as you already know, a lot of guys are visual animals.

Speaking of being visual…

Mirrors – Another great way to add to your man’s visual experience is to use a mirror.

There’s no need to install a custom ceiling mirror above your bed, but…

Think about giving him a blow job in front of a regular wall mirror or even in front of a large window or glass shower door where he can see your reflection.

Get more ideas from this list of oral sex positions.

My Most Vital Blow Job Trick

In Chapter 1, I talked about the importance of feeling comfortable when going down on your man if YOU want to enjoy yourself.

This next blow job trick is an extension of that principle. You see..

According to one study, the average erect penis size is around 5 inches (12.9cm) long [9] while another study finds the average erect penile length closer to 5.6 inches (14.15cm) [10], and previous studies pegged erect penis length over 6 inches [11] (this might surprise many men; up to 85% of them overestimate average penis size [12]).

Now…

The depth of the mouth from lips to the throat can vary with the size and shape of your jaw. Some estimates put it around 3 or 4 inches in depth.


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Now…

The depth of the mouth from lips to the throat can vary with the size and shape of your jaw. Some estimates put it around 3 or 4 inches in depth. You can figure yours out by using a dildo and seeing how far you can insert it!

Doing the math…

This means that if you take your man into your mouth, down to the base of his penis, then he’s going to hit back of your throat and trigger your gag reflex. This isn’t a problem if you don’t have a gag reflex, but most of us have a super-sensitive one. Get tips on how to eliminate your gag reflex in the Guide on how to deep throat without gagging.

Magic Hand Trick – The trick you need to use to prevent him from triggering your gag reflex is to START your blow job by placing a hand by the base of his penis, so you can control how deep you take him.

If he is particularly well endowed, then you can wrap a few fingers around the base so that you can only take a small section of his penis into your mouth; otherwise, you can just place your hand near the base of his penis or even on his thigh.

This immediately means you can forget about gagging and can instead focus on giving him more pleasure.

Giving Feedback With A Dick In Your Mouth

As I mentioned before, most guys are visually turned on, but what you may not know is that they adore hearing your blow job too.

How can he hear your blow job?

Through your licking, slurping, kissing, breathing and moaning

I’m not talking about making loud, fake sounds as you take his penis in and out of your mouth.

What I’m saying is that most guys love hearing the sounds you naturally make during your blow job. In fact, the noises women make can help their partners orgasm [13].

So if you happen to make a lot of noise slurping on his penis and gasping for breath after deep throating him, don’t think for a minute that it’s turning your man off. Men love this.

And…

If you are enjoying yourself during the blow job, feel free to moan your pleasure, even with him in your mouth.


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Men love this.

And…

If you are enjoying yourself during the blow job, feel free to moan your pleasure, even with him in your mouth.

Podcast: 14 Advanced BJ Techniques

I recently recorded this podcast to teach you the most advanced & pleasurable blow job techniques you can use on your man to give him an orgasm so intense that he may fall into a “sex coma.” I cover everything from BDSM to finishing him off the right way.

Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here.

The Initiation

Who usually initiates things sexually? You or your man?

Think about this for a minute.

If both of you prefer when the same partner initiates every time, then great!

However, most guys prefer when there is a bit of variation…Sometimes he is the initiator, and sometimes you are the person initiating things.

Try to be mindful of this in your relationship, as it can be really hot for your man when you wake him up to a surprise, morning blow job (or you may prefer morning sex, instead).

Equally, it can be intense when he grabs you, pushes you down to your knees, and unzips his pants.

In short, sometimes let him start things off; other times, you should be the one who initiates things.

The same goes for other sexual activities. Discover 9 ways to initiate sex.

The Don’ts Of Good Blow Jobs

I hope that from reading this chapter of the Blow Job Guide (click here for the other chapters of the Blow Job Guide) that you see just how easy it can be to give your man a great blow job. There are a vast number of different blow job tips you can use to give him intense pleasure.

But before you go out and start using these blow job tips, there are a few vital aspects of blow jobs that you should know to ensure that you don’t do anything that will hinder your oral sex skills or lessen the pleasure you give your man…

Teeth – I’ve already mentioned the problem with accidentally using your teeth earlier in this article. Please refer to this section to understand the best ways to avoid accidentally using your teeth on him.


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Please refer to this section to understand the best ways to avoid accidentally using your teeth on him.

Expecting Payback – I mentioned this before in Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide, but it’s so important that I’m going to say it again…

In the ideal world, every partner would selflessly provide their loved one with endless pleasure, never asking for anything in return. Of course, this is a little unrealistic and unworkable in the real world. However, you should never see love making (or blow jobs!) as something you only do in order to receive an equal amount of pleasure in return.

Sex is not a tit-for-tat exercise.

To Control – Using these bj tips or sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.

Of course, this advice does not apply to roleplaying scenarios in which you try to “break” your man or get him to give up a secret by teasing and tantalizing him.

Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact, studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation [14], so why not give it to him!

In other words, if you just use the same two techniques on your man every Saturday night, then he’s going to stop looking forward to it. The key is using enough variation in your oral sex repertoire to keep him on his toes. However, too much variation can be a bad thing too…

Too Much Variation!


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The key is using enough variation in your oral sex repertoire to keep him on his toes. However, too much variation can be a bad thing too…

Too Much Variation! – So you’ve bookmarked the Bad Girls Bible and read it every day to learn new sex positions (check out over 100 different sex positions with illustrations in the Sex Positions Guide here), blow job tips, and how to talk dirty (read the Dirty Talking Guide here). Every day you’re learning more and more sex tips to give him powerful orgasms. You may think that you should try something completely new on him every day while forgetting about the blow job tips that you’ve previously used to pleasure him.

Too much variation is NOT a good strategy if you want to have a fulfilling sex life. It’s like redecorating your house every six months and throwing out all the furniture and decorations that you like, along with the furniture and decorations you don’t like. But why throw out what you do like? Of course, you should keep the stuff you like.

In short, make sure to try new blow job ideas, but don’t forget about the blow job tips that are already working great.

Now that you’ve learned some tips for beginning your blow job, let’s get started on Chapter 3 of the Blow Job Guide, where you’ll learn my secret orgasm-inducing blow job techniques. Or, if you like, you can go back to Chapter 1, which will give you an overview of the entire Blow Job Guide.


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How to Give a Blow Job — 42 Blow Job Tips From Experts

2024-04-09 20:13:00+00:00
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“Fellatio.” “Slobbin’ on the knob.” “Head.” “Sloppy toppy.” Blow jobs go by many a name. But whatever you call it, the most important thing to know about sucking dick is that it is a goddamn artform—a creative endeavor, a finely crafted skill. In the immortal words of our lord and savior Samantha Jones: “They don’t call it a job for nothin’.” And while this definitely doesn’t mean that BJs are all work and no play, it does mean that learning how to give a blow job takes time, practice, and some knowledge of what the hell you should even be doing down there.

Hence why we’ve graciously compiled this expert list of blow job tips, tricks, and must-know info for anyone who is looking to hone their BJ craft, whether you’re getting ready to take your very first trip to D-town or have been knob-slobbing for years (because yes, there’s always more to learn). Hello and welcome to Blow Jobs 101.

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But before we get into all the details, let’s make sure we’re all clear on the basics. For the uninitiated, a blow job refers to “the act of oral sexual stimulation of the penis,” says sex therapist Danielle Simpson-Baker, MA, MFTI, a member of The Pulse, a panel of experts for The Honey Pot Company. “To give a blow job, you basically place the head or tip of your partner’s penis in your mouth and start moving your head up and down the shaft.” says Simpson-Baker.


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“To give a blow job, you basically place the head or tip of your partner’s penis in your mouth and start moving your head up and down the shaft.” says Simpson-Baker.

Intimacy educator Taylor Sparks, founder of , adds that a blow job “can include licking of the entire shaft and/or sucking on the penis while also stroking it with your hands.”

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As for why people love blow jobs, board-certified sex educator Linnea Marie says that, for the receiver, the pleasure is twofold. “They are feeling the stimulation in a highly pleasurable erogenous zone due to the abundance of nerve endings in the penis,” she says. “Visually, the pleasure also comes from watching the person perform.”

And while the act of giving a blow job may not be as physically stimulating as receiving one, there is still plenty of pleasure to be had for the BJ-giver. “Many enjoy the feeling of power and control associated with pleasuring their partner,” Marie says. Just because it’s a job doesn’t mean you can’t absolutely love going to work.

Speaking of which: Yes, blow jobs SHOULD BE FUN—and not just for the receiver! The number one, most important blow job tip we can offer anyone is that enthusiasm is key. The more fun you’re having, the more fun your partner will have.

“The key to giving enjoyable head is to enjoy giving head,” says sex educator Lucy Rowett. “Focus on what you like about giving your partner pleasure—pay attention to what feels good to you.”

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Most importantly, if you don’t feel like giving a blow job, then don’t! Again, sexual pleasure (of all varieties) should be a two-way street. If you’re not into it, don’t do it. Simple as that.

Now, allow us to present your complete guide to giving a blow job, featuring 42 expert tips, tricks, and things to know about performing the fine art of the BJ. Buckle up and prepare to blow some minds (and, you know, some penises) with your expert-level oral sex skills.


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Buckle up and prepare to blow some minds (and, you know, some penises) with your expert-level oral sex skills.

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1. Set the mood.

Don't worry, you don’t have to bust out some heels and mood lighting every time you give a blow job. But if you feel confident and sexy going into the experience, the overall vibe will just be hotter. To heighten your own enthusiasm, sexologist Goody Howard suggests playing a little background music. “You want to pick a song that makes you feel powerful, beautiful, and desirable,” she says. “And then you want to perform oral sex to the rhythm of the song. You can even hum some of the lyrics into the penis. It also helps you keep a rhythm for your breathing, which helps support gag reflex control.”

2. Don’t be afraid to make eye contact.

“There is a misconception that you have to close your eyes to show you’re ‘into it’ when giving a blowjob,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, host of the Luvbites With Dr. Tara podcast. “I think that making eye contact during a BJ is way more impactful and sexier than closing your eyes the whole time.”

To be fair, there’s a lot going on during a BJ, so don’t feel obligated to incorporate eye contact into the mix if you’re not feeling it. But if you’re into it, glancing up at your partner and holding that gaze can definitely add an extra layer of intimacy, connection, and/or eroticism.

3. Don’t do it if you don’t want to.

For our friends in the back, allow us to make this very loud and very clear: You do not owe anyone a blow job. "Blow jobs should be given enthusiastically—and it'll show if you're just not into it. Skip it if it's not your thing,” says Simpson-Baker.

You do not even owe it to yourself to give someone a blow job for the sake of trying it out if you don’t want to.


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Skip it if it's not your thing,” says Simpson-Baker.

You do not even owe it to yourself to give someone a blow job for the sake of trying it out if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to go down on someone (or perform literally any sexual act, for that matter), don’t do it. Full stop. End of story.

4. Moan!

“When you're sucking, if you're enjoying it, moan with pleasure,” says Rowett. “The vibrations from your moan will add to the pleasure that your mouth and tongue is giving.”

Again, we know there’s a lot going on, so if moaning is just not in the cards, we hear ya. That said, if you have the capacity, some well-placed (and genuinely felt) moaning can definitely enhance the experience for everyone involved.

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5. You don’t have to deep-throat if you don’t want to.

Okay, so deep-throating can absolutely be enjoyable for both the giver and receiver. That said, it is definitely *not* required when it comes to giving head. Honestly, you might as well consider deep-throating and blow jobs to be two different sex acts entirely.

“Don't feel obligated to deep-throat. You will be temporarily cutting off your airway, so if this isn't something you want to do, don't feel like you have to,” say Simpson-Baker. “Some partners don't even enjoy it because it can be too intense or even painful, so ask if they're into it first.”

6. Ask what they like.

Everyone's different when it comes to sexual preferences, so if you're unsure what to do, Velvet Co. sexpert Julieta Chiara suggests simply asking.

"What works for one person will not for the other, so getting down to the core is key," she says. You can ask in a sexy way so that it feels like part of the whole event, instead of just asking for directions. Try something like, "I want to suck your dick. How do you want me to do it?"


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You can ask in a sexy way so that it feels like part of the whole event, instead of just asking for directions. Try something like, "I want to suck your dick. How do you want me to do it?" Watch their eyes light up and their penis jump to attention as they give you a play-by-play of exactly what they like.

That being said, if you’re not vibing with their suggestions or if whatever they’re asking for makes you uncomfy, you can always say no. Stewart says you have to be able to express your needs just as well as you can internalize theirs. And TBH, you never have to give anyone a blow job if it’s not your style. Just be straightforward with your partner about your boundaries.

7. Take some of the pressure out of it.

Deciding to give someone a blow job is a certified Big Deal. But that doesn't mean you have to take all the fun out of it. Instead of worrying about giving the perfect blow job, just be in the moment. Laugh if something silly happens. Take breaks for sips of water. Make jokes. Relax. Remember, this is about connecting and enjoying—not about putting on a porn-worthy performance.

8. Be all kinds of vocal.

Moan, groan, ooh, and ahh. Hell, even throw in a gurgling sound if the mood strikes you. The point is, don't be afraid to make noises or slurpy sounds—it's not only hot, but the vibrations from your mouth will do wondrous things to their peen.

“Channel your inner porn star,” Howard suggests. “Exaggerated moaning and sucking and slurping gives an amazing sensation to the penis, and the vibration from slurping adds layers to the pleasure for the receiving partner.”

Also, dirty talk is a great way to not only turn up the heat on the situation but give your jaw a rest, explains sex expert Kenneth Play . Stare into your partner's eyes and say something along the lines of, "you taste so good," "you feel so good in my mouth," "can I suck it harder?"


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Stare into your partner's eyes and say something along the lines of, "you taste so good," "you feel so good in my mouth," "can I suck it harder?" Whether or not you actually do suck it harder doesn't matter, because they'll instantly be closer to coming.

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9. Pillows are your friend.

Your comfort is key! “Don't be afraid to take breaks,” Stewart says. Do you need a neck pillow? Do you need a different position that's going to help you do the job better? “Don't be afraid to say what your needs are in this situation.” Whether you buy a pillow specifically for sex (yes, sex pillows are a thing) or you grab one off of the bed, pillows are one of the most underrated additions to oral. Not only can you put them under your knees if you're giving a kneeling blow job, but you can use them to prop up your partner's hips, which takes some of the neck strain off of you and provides new sensations for them and new positions for you to try.

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10. Use lube.

Why would you need lube when you have a mouthful of spit? Because spit dries up quick and lube makes everything better. Not only will it keep things slippery, but if you give your mouth a break and use your hand, it'll speed up the process and prevent you from getting lockjaw. Opt for a flavored lube that doesn’t taste like a takeout bag and enjoy the fact that you can suck a dick that tastes like strawberries. The joys of modern sex additives!

11. There is no wrong way to give a blow job.

You should just get that out of your head now because, hi, everyone has different tastes, preferences, likes, and wants, which means it’s going to vary for every person you’re with.



“Different people prefer different techniques, and there’s no way to know about their favorite unless you ask or listen to their reaction,” says clinical sexologist Rachel Sommer, PhD, co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide.

12. Take the assist!


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12. Take the assist!

“Feel free to use toys to save your mouth some work. A mini wand, bullet vibrator and/or a fleshlight could be a great addition to a BJ,” says Simpson-Baker.

And, oh hi, what’s this? A literal sex toy specifically designed to make blow jobs easier for the giver and better for the recipient? Yep, it’s the oral stroker from Cake, which, per co-founder and CMO Mitch Orkis, essentially “extends your hand and wrist so you don’t need to go all the way to the base as the giver. Plus, it still creates the suction feeling so the receiver feels good.”

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13. It’s okay to be intimidated.

If you haven’t logged much face-to-penis time, the thought of shoving one in your mouth might be a touch overwhelming. That’s totally normal. But if you want to experiment with blow jobs and just don’t quite know how to begin, Stewart and Howard both recommend getting in some dress rehearsals before hitting the main stage.

“Take a class or three, get familiar,” Stewart says. Howard runs an oral sex workshop called “LICK!” in Dallas, Texas, which she says is her “fantastic fellatio workshop that teaches how to add toys to performance and even reach orgasm while giving head.” Not in Dallas? Sex educators in most major cities run similar workshops. Give it a Google.

If a workshop isn’t your style, Stewart suggests buying a dildo. “The more you're familiar with the type of anatomy—even though it might just be a toy as opposed to a penis—it's important just to have the practice and to be familiar so that you're not going in there totally clueless.”

And of course (~shameless plug~), you can also check out Cosmo's very own 4-Week Oral Sex Challenge, where we unpack the do's and don'ts of giving and getting oral sex down to the nitty gritty. You'll be a pro by the end, trust.

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14.


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You'll be a pro by the end, trust.

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14. Don’t just stroke your partner's penis, stroke their ego.

Trust, the mental and emotional build-up to an orgasm is almost as hot as the actual thing. This means that, yes, if you are looking at this blow job as if it’s a chore, your partner will know you’re not into it. "Use this time to focus on catering to your partner,” says clinical sexologist Valon Alford , owner of Vitality Wellness Solutions. “Your endgame is for your partner to feel like their pleasure is the most important thing in the world.”

Similarly, Stewart says oral sex can be a way to communicate admiration between partners. And if it’s something that you really love to do, it’ll show—and it’ll be so appreciated. “It’s important that you're savoring the moment and not rushing,” she adds.

15. Appeal to all of their senses.

Alford confirms: “Appealing to the five senses (touch, sight, sound, smell, and taste) is a great way to turn on your partner and set the mood.” She suggests something as little as burning a nice aromatherapy candle or wearing that perfume your partner loves. Rub their back or squirt some whipped cream in their mouth while you're going at it. Get creative to put their senses in overdrive.

A blow job is “not only about the experience itself, but also about the visual aspects, that's sexy for the receiver,” Stewart says. What kinds of sounds are you making? Add some mmm’s to show how much you’re enjoying the experience. Throw in some dirty talk, or just some dialog and feedback. Check in with other parts of your body—can you rub up against your lover's body as you're giving head? “I think all of those things are important as well,” she says.

16. Don’t limit the blow job to the penis only.

There are tonnnns of pleasure spots on the body you can stimulate.


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“I think all of those things are important as well,” she says.

16. Don’t limit the blow job to the penis only.

There are tonnnns of pleasure spots on the body you can stimulate. One I highly, highly recommend you get familiar with is the perineum—the area between your partner’s scrotum and anus. “It is highly sensitive because it is home to a lot of nerve endings. Giving this area a little attention can intensify pleasure,” says Alford. She recommends using your tongue or index and middle fingers to apply pressure there.



17. Your mouth might get dry.

Whether you have dry mouth from nerves, allergy or prescription meds, or even just drinking alcohol prior (which can dehydrate you), dry mouth is supes common and you can find a way to deal with it! A little prep never hurt anyone—keep some chewing gum or sour candies by your bedside to help nudge your salivary glands into production, as ob-gyn Wendy Askew, MD, previously told Cosmopolitan.



You can also prep, like, way beforehand too. If you love giving head but your dry mouth is cramping your style, invest in some Xylitol-based mouthwashes specifically designed for dry mouth, like Biotene or Smart Mouth Mouthwash. Xylitol mouthwashes (remember, stay away from alcohol-based as it can cause dryness) actually helps stimulate saliva production and retain better moisture in the mouth, according to Dr. Askew.

18. You don’t have to gag just to make spit.



Some people choose to make themselves gag to produce more spit. But if gagging freaks you out, that makes actual physiological sense. According to Jarrett Manning, DDS , an Atlanta-based dentist, “The body’s response to deep-throating is similar to that of gagging, which is a defense mechanism preventing swallowing or choking.”


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Basically, “when these areas in the back of your throat get triggered in such a way, the stimulation goes from your nerves to your brain’s medulla oblongata, which happens to be located near the other areas of the brain that cause you to get teary eyes and produce excess saliva.” AKA, there’s kind of a medical reason it might work, but you’re legit like, hitting the “PANIC” button in your brain to get there. So you can weigh the pros and cons.

19. Not everyone can orgasm from a blow job.

Stewart emphasizes that not everyone will orgasm from a blow job, and that’s totally fine. While movies, books and TV shows might make it seem like blow jobs are the holy grail and The Ultimate Thing that all penis-owners want 24/7, some people aren’t crazy about them, and others like them (or even love them) but they just don’t lead to orgasms.

If you’re going at it for ages and nothing’s happening, and your partner's like, “Yeah, I might not finish from this since I rarely can,” do not take it personally. Trust that they know their body better than you can and try to just enjoy the moment without being so goal-oriented, Stewart recommends.

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20. You don’t have to kneel if you don’t want to.

There’s a time and place for kneeling blow jobs and there’s also a time and place to be like, “Fuck it, I want to be comfortable and keep movement from where I am right now to a minimum.” If you try changing up your position so you sit next to them, not in front of them, you can change the sensation for your partner, show off your ass, and you might find that it just makes things comfier for you on the whole.

21. Go ahead and make it about you too!

Bringing a vibrating toy into things can make giving head even hotter. You can use one hand to hold it while you’re kneeling and sort of sit on it for maximum control.


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21. Go ahead and make it about you too!

Bringing a vibrating toy into things can make giving head even hotter. You can use one hand to hold it while you’re kneeling and sort of sit on it for maximum control.

To cum while you’re going to town on your partner, San Francisco–based sex expert, therapist, and co-founder of the Somatica Method of sex Celeste Hirschman , MA, suggests lying on your back with your partner on their knees. Turn to the right to give them a blowjob while they finger you. For extra pleasure, use a vibrating toy on yourself. Watching one another experience the shared pleasure can be a massive turn-on for both you and your partner.

22. Just because they’re quiet doesn’t mean they don‘t love it.

This is a problem among people with penises, many of whom seem to have been told, at some point, to literally never exude enthusiasm in sex. If your partner’s silence is weirding you out, tell them so! Positive feedback is helpful for BJ novices and experts alike.

23. Yes, you can give a blow job in the shower.

Most shower sex is difficult to impossible—the literal black diamond of sex locations. But oral sex is both doable and enjoyable in the shower. Have your partner stand out of the jet stream (so you can be in it) and go to town after you’ve watched them wash their bod.

24. Play with the balls.

But don’t do it without first asking if your partner is into that. And then follow that question up with, “And how do you like your balls played with?” Because what people who don’t have them don’t know is that apparently, they’re very sensitive! So don’t go yanking away without warning.

Hirschman’s tip for playing with balls: “Kneel between [your partner’s] legs and use one hand on the shaft and the other to gently pull and caress the balls.”

25. Incorporate some butt play.

Once again: Ask your partner if they like butt play before you venture into unknown territory. And then if they give you the all-clear, ask again what kind of play they like.


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Incorporate some butt play.

Once again: Ask your partner if they like butt play before you venture into unknown territory. And then if they give you the all-clear, ask again what kind of play they like. If they don’t know, check out some of these beginner anal play tips and work from there. This also tends to speed up blow jobs, which, you know, might be a good thing.



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26. You can get STIs from blow jobs.

Which is why wearing condoms during oral is a good idea, especially for new, non-monogamous partners. There are plenty of flavored varieties if the taste of latex isn’t really your thing.

27. Get creative and be playful.

Bring some toys (vibrators feel good on penises, too!) into the mix, or try some flavored lubes. Take a play from Samantha Jones’s book and have them stand in front of a mirror. It can be super hot to watch yourself get it on (why do you think sex tapes are a thing??). Use that over-the-door mirror you’ve had since freshman year of college for dirty purposes and position yourselves in front of it while you go down on your partner.

Hungry? Howard suggests adding some fruit roll ups (yes, you read that right) into your sexy repertoire. Instead of using the whole thing all at once, which could take a while to work your way through, cut that fruity goodness into three sections and wrap one of them around the middle of the shaft. “This will give you an incentive to get more penis in your mouth and you won't be sucking dick for like, a whole week,” she says.

28. Don’t skip foreplay.

For some people, blow jobs are foreplay that leads up to other stuff. For others, they’re the main event. Whatever the case may be, you can blow their freakin’ mind and detract minutes from the amount of time their D is in your M by teasing your partner pre–blow job. Get them all worked up by kissing their hips and thighs, then their shaft.


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Get them all worked up by kissing their hips and thighs, then their shaft. Breathe on the tip of their dick, lick it lightly. Flirt with it! Not only does it feel great for them, but it’s fun for you and it can cut down on the amount of time you’re actually sucking and straining your jaw.

29. Don’t worry about what you look like.

Have you ever seen anyone eat a really big popsicle? Like, put their whole dang mouth around it (which, ouch, brain freeze)? It’s not a dainty sight! And that’s okay. When you’re giving a blow job, you’re not supposed to look super composed and photo-ready. Your mouth is on your lover’s genitals. They’re gonna think you look hot no matter what.

30. It doesn’t have to be all about them.

Ever heard of something called sensate focus? It’s a sex therapy technique in which you focus on touch and the physical pleasure it brings you, and you can totally use it to ease blow job anxiety or just ~mix it up~ a little. Basically, instead of doing what you think you’re supposed to do to make them feel great, employ blow job techniques that feel fun and exciting to you. Oral sex doesn’t have to be as one-sided as its reputation would imply.

31. Strategize to get it really wet.

I mean, there’s pre-ejaculate, but that’s like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. Don't be afraid to literally spit on their penis if things get dry. It’s not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably), and trust me, they'll think it's hot.



32. You can do it lying down, too.

In movies and TV shows, the only BJ position ever depicted is someone on their knees, bobbing their head back and forth while their partner stands up like a statuesque Greek god. This is so rare IRL!


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In movies and TV shows, the only BJ position ever depicted is someone on their knees, bobbing their head back and forth while their partner stands up like a statuesque Greek god. This is so rare IRL! You don’t have to invest in knee pads like Stephanie from seventh grade said you would! Stephanie lied to you. Just get on the bed and do it lying down. It’s comfier!

33. Swallow if you want (or don’t!).

No shade to the folks who like the taste and feel of cum in their mouth, but for some people, the sensation is icky. That doesn’t mean your partner’s not a total babe and you aren’t mega attracted to them—it just means the two of you should figure out an alternative cum route. Maybe they orgasm on your chest? How about into a tissue or towel? Chat about it with your lover to find a solution that you both think is delicious and sexy.

34. Use your hands.

Howard would like to remind you that your hands are an incredible BJ asset that can be used at the same time as your mouth, and also in moments when your mouth needs a break. “There are no awards for the best Bluetooth head. You know, hands-free? Use your hands and stroke the penis while performing oral sex,” she says. “Especially when they get ready to cum. You can stroke the penis and angle it away from your mouth and take that time to focus on the testicles.”

Additionally, Stewart says using tools like can make it easier for someone with hand issues or arthritis.

Related Story 16 Cowgirl Sex Positions That'll Make It Your Fave

35. Be mindful of your teeth.

But don’t stress about it. There are an inordinate number of horror stories about people who accidentally use their teeth during a BJ and, like, skin their partner's dick with their razor molars or something. This is not—I repeat, not—a regular occurrence. Have some awareness of where your teeth are in relation to their penis so that you avoid causing them any pain or discomfort, but don’t let it get to your head (or either one of theirs).

36.


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Have some awareness of where your teeth are in relation to their penis so that you avoid causing them any pain or discomfort, but don’t let it get to your head (or either one of theirs).

36. Sometimes a penis doesn’t smell good, and that’s okay.

I don’t think anyone expects a hard penis to smell like Chanel perfume or a strawberry Lip Smacker, but some people have a stronger scent than others. Anyone’s crotch area can get sweaty and pungent. If you’re concerned about your partner’s smell or hygiene, kindly suggest a sexy shower together before any mouth-to-genital action.

37. Use your tongue.

It’s not the strongest muscle in your body for no reason, okay?! Tongues are sexy as hell, and the chances are high that your partner’s going to want to see yours in action as you lick the living daylights outta their phallus. While giving head, play around with tongue shapes: Wide and flat on the shaft and tight and pointy on the tip are two good places to start.

Hirschman suggests licking their shaft while holding eye contact, and tickling your tongue across the shaft as you go up and down.

Also, you can use your tongue to trick them into thinking they're all the way in your mouth, like magic, if magic were sexier. Just either tuck their penis underneath your tongue or use your tongue to block the back of your throat (this also protects your delicate gag reflexes just in case).

38. Blow jobs are great, but they can take time.

Although people do seem to love them, it’s not something that begins and ends in a matter of seconds (usually). These things can be a lot of work, especially if you’re down there for, like, 15 minutes. You can quit whenever you want though—never feel like you’re dropping out of a race early.

39. Porn has some decent pointers.

Sex ed should definitely be better in this country, but I really doubt we’ll ever have gym coaches teaching good blow job decorum in front of a bunch of confused teenagers. And that’s probably for the best? Anyway.


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Sex ed should definitely be better in this country, but I really doubt we’ll ever have gym coaches teaching good blow job decorum in front of a bunch of confused teenagers. And that’s probably for the best? Anyway. People don’t tend to f*ck IRL like they do in porn, but sometimes those close-up shots of someone ferociously sucking a D can serve as good little tutorials on how to move your head. Just don’t attempt deep-throating if you’re not very experienced.

Once you’ve gotten your porny techniques down, Hirschman recommends trying to create some suction, kind of like a vacuum, right when you feel the tip of their dick get the hardest. “This creates an extremely powerful orgasm,” she says.

40. Literally no one can deep-throat without gagging.

I vaguely remember some girl in ninth grade telling me that all grown women literally swallow lidocaine or the stuff in those Orajel swabs before giving a blow job so they don’t gag on a dick. Don’t do this! Don’t drink lidocaine! No! If you’re worried about gagging or throwing up on someone you like, the solution is to just not deep-throat a penis.

41. You do not have to give a BJ just to get head in return.

If someone refuses to go down on you because you don’t like giving BJs, or for literally any other reason, they suck (except lol, they don’t suck, hahaha get it?). This is the epitome of thank u, next. There are tons of people out there who are going to love the idea of going down on you, so go find them!

42. You’re still good in bed, even if you don’t like blow jobs.

Blow jobs are great and fun and lots of people love them, but if they’re not your thing, that’s totally fine. BJs are just one option on an endless menu of sexy stuff you can do with another person. Blow jobs can be super hot and build lots of juicy intimacy, but they’re not the end-all-be-all if you don’t want them to be.


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Blow jobs can be super hot and build lots of juicy intimacy, but they’re not the end-all-be-all if you don’t want them to be. Trust your gut (and your gag reflex) and you can’t go wrong.


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How to Make a Woman Orgasm, According to Research
Julia Naftulin, Julia Naftulin Is A Health Reporter With A Focus On Sexual Health, Psychology, Public Health. Her Work Can Be Found At Insider, Health, Verywell Health, Health'S Editorial Guidelines, Renita White, Md, Is An Obstetrician Gynecologist At Georgia Obstetrics
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Scenes in movies and television typically depict women's pleasure as their partners only needed eight seconds before the woman finds herself on the brink of an orgasm.

But in reality, a woman's orgasm is much more than that. In fact, there are many different ways that a woman can orgasm.

A clitoral orgasm is any orgasm that results from clitoral stimulation. In contrast, a vaginal orgasm is any orgasm that results from vaginal penetration. Sometimes, women can achieve orgasm by combining vaginal and clitoral stimulation. But an orgasm isn't always necessary to enjoy sex.

Also keep in mind that although a majority of people who have vaginal and clitoral orgasms are women, anyone with those body parts can achieve those types of orgasms.

Here's what you should know about a woman's orgasm, including how a woman can achieve an orgasm.

Understanding Women's Orgasms

The truth is that the nature of a woman’s orgasm has been a source of scientific, political, and cultural debate for a long time. Researchers have tried to understand how women reach orgasm. It turns out that women can achieve an orgasm in several different ways.

Women commonly orgasm due to clitoral stimulation, also known as a clitoral orgasm. Other women orgasm from stimulation of regions inside the vagina, such as the G-spot, the cervix, or a combination of the two. The G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina, about halfway between the vaginal opening and cervix.

Also, women can achieve those types of orgasms by masturbation or intercourse with one or more partners. But for some women, even if sex is enjoyable, orgasm can be difficult.

The Right Touch

According to one study published in 2018 in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women achieve orgasms in different ways.


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But for some women, even if sex is enjoyable, orgasm can be difficult.

The Right Touch

According to one study published in 2018 in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women achieve orgasms in different ways. But also, most women need some level of hands-on touching to climax during sex. The type of touch—the rhythm, motion, and pressure—varies widely.

In the study, the researchers surveyed over 1,000 women between 18–94. The researchers asked the women how much touching they needed to orgasm and what exact strokes produced the most pleasure, among other questions.

Clitoral Orgasm

While clitoral orgasms may be one of the most accessible types of pleasure, women prefer different types of touch to climax.



Direct Clitoral Stimulation

According to the 2018 study, 37% of women said they need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. In contrast, 36% of women said clitoral stimulation isn't necessary. But those women noted that clitoral stimulation makes the experience pleasing.

Also, when it comes to specific motions, the researchers noted the following findings:

Two-thirds of women said they prefer up-and-down motions directly on their clitoris.

Fifty-two percent of women reported enjoying direct circular movements.

One-third of women preferred direct side-to-side strokes.

The majority of women reported preferring light to medium pressure on the vulva. In contrast, 11% of women preferred firm pressure.

Indirect Clitoral Stimulation

Two-thirds of women reported enjoying indirect clitoral stimulation. Sixty-nine percent of women said they preferred touching the skin above the clitoral hood. Also, about 29% of women said they preferred being touched with the labia pushed together.

Additionally, 20% of women favored indirectly touching the skin on the right side of the clitoris, while 19.2% of women chose the skin on the left side.

Orgasm via Penile and Digital Intercourse

Penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) is the most common heterosexual behavior in the United States. While many women participate in PVI, they do not always achieve orgasm.


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Orgasm via Penile and Digital Intercourse

Penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) is the most common heterosexual behavior in the United States. While many women participate in PVI, they do not always achieve orgasm.

In fact, the 2018 study found that only 18% of women said that vaginal penetration, penile or digital, alone was enough to reach orgasm. Some experts refer to that as a gender-based orgasm gap during partnered sex.

One study published in 2021 in PLoS ONE surveyed 3,017 women aged 18–93. The researchers asked the women about how they make vaginal penetration pleasurable. The researchers reported the following findings:

About 88% of women reported experiencing pleasure during penetration by “angling.” That move involves rotating, raising, or lowering the pelvis or hips during penetration to adjust where the penis rubs inside the vagina.

Three-quarters of women said “rocking” the base of a penis, so it rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration, increased pleasure.

Nearly 84% of women often orgasm or increase their pleasure through “‘shallowing.” That move involves a penetrative touch just inside the vaginal entrance with a fingertip, sex toy, penis tip, tongue, or lips

About 70% of women found it pleasurable when their partner paired penetration with clitoral stimulation.



A Quick Review

While there's no formula for the perfect orgasm, research has found that some types of touch are more popular than others. Also, there are many ways to enhance pleasure during sex that may help you orgasm.

Try experimenting and show your partner what you like to find out which type of touch works best for you. Also, maintain an open dialogue with your partner about the type of touch you like.


