INT. MARCUS'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
    The time is circa 1985 . Vi and Marcus finish making love . Marcus has cerebral palsy .
    MARCUS
    Hey, you want to hear my short story now?
    VI
    Huh?
    MARCUS
    ( lifts a MS from a shelf by his bed . )
    I can read it to you.
    VI
    You mean, again?
    MARCUS
    Well, I changed the ending a little.
    VI
    Oh. What happens now?
    MARCUS
    Well, actually, it's the same, but longer. I think it's better. More. raw.
    VI
    Well then, maybe you should just read the ending.
    MARCUS
    But it wo n't make any sense if you hear it out of context.
    VI
    I think you should leave it the way it was. It was good.
    Pause .
    MARCUS
    So you do n't want to hear my new ending?
    VI
    You'll read it in class tomorrow. Surprise me.
    ( beat . )
    Anyway, I have to go. I promised Melinda I'd help her with her oral.
    She rises , starts dressing .
    MARCUS
    You're tired of me. I can tell.
    VI
    Marcus, I'm tired. That's all.
    MARCUS
    You've lost interest. You hardly even sweat any more when we have sex.
    VI
    I was never much of a sweater. You know that.
    MARCUS
    Look, Vi, I do n't blame you. You feel You feel pity now. The pleasure is n't there any more. The kinkiness has gone. You've become kind.

EXT. CAMPUS GREEN - DAY
    It is bright and sunny .

INT. MR SCOTT'S CLASSROOM - DAY
    Mr Scott , who is black , presides over his class . Marcus is reading from his story , Vi at his side . Catherine , a stunning intellectual , sits near the teacher . The rest of the students -LRB- Amy , Elli , etc. -RRB- listen closely and take notes .
    MARCUS
    . but when he saw her. it was as if he could walk like a normal person. His legs did n't swing, his arms did n't spaz away. He was n't a freak any more, for she made him forget his affliction. No more cerebral palsy! From now on `` CP'' stood for. cerebral person. He was a cerebral person.
    Pause . Marcus and Vi exchange looks .
    AMY
    I thought it was really good, Marcus. Really moving and emotional.
    ELLI
    Yeah, I thought it was really emotional, too.
    AMY
    And I mean, really good word choices. It kind of reminded me a little of Faulkner, but East Coast and disabled.
    LUCY
    Or Flannery O'Connor. She had multiple sclerosis.
    JOYCE
    And Borges. He was blind.
    Pause .
    ETHAN
    Updike has psoriasis.
    Pause .
    CATHERINE
    Um. Maybe I'm wrong, but, um, I'm afraid I found the whole thing to be a little trite. Its earnestness is, well. it's a little embarrassing. And those adjectives, they're a little flatfooted. And redundant. I'm sorry, but. Anyway, what do I know? Do n't even listen to what I say. I mean.
    Pause .
    MR SCOTT
    Anyone else?
    No response .
    MR SCOTT
    Catherine is right. The story's a piece of shit. You express nothing but banalities and, formally speaking, are unable to construct a single compelling sentence. You ride on a wave of clichés so worn, in fact, it actually approaches a level of grotesquerie. Ad your subtitle, ` the rawness of truth' is that supposed to be a joke of some sort? Or are you just being pretentious?
    ( beat ; then checking his class book . )
    OK. Who's next?

EXT. CAMPUS COURTYARD - DAY
    Marcus , upset , rushes outside , Vi in pursuit , desperately trying to console .
    VI
    Marcus, wait up!
    Marcus stops .
    MARCUS
    What do you want?
    VI
    Do n't be so upset. It's OK.
    MARCUS
    What the fuck are you talking about? What's OK?
    VI
    ( beat . )
    You know he hated my story also.
    MARCUS
    Your story was terrible!
    He moves on , she keeps up with him .
    VI
    Marcus. You'll write something better next time!
    MARCUS
    Patronizing fuck! If you had just been honest with me in the first place I would n't have read it. I knew it was shit. But - idiot! - I believed you!
    VI
    That's not fair! I was honest! Just because I was n't sucking up like that bitch Catherine.
    MARCUS
    Well, I sure did n't hear you voice your opinion in there when it mattered.
    VI
    I admit it - I was scared! I was shocked, in fact, by what he said. And he's so. convincing. I'm sorry if I let you down, but really, I still say he's just one opinion. I do n't even like his books that much. They're all so aggressively confrontational. I do n't care if he's won the Pulitzer Prize.
    Catherine and Mr Scott walk by together in the distance .
    MARCUS
    You just want to fuck him. Like Catherine and every other white cunt on campus.
    He leaves her .

INT. VI AND MELINDA'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
    Melinda lies on her bed with some homework , watching Vi .
    VI
    ( O.S . )
    ( on phone . )
    . But Marcus! You ca n't just unilaterally decide to end things. This is a relationship we're talking about! A friendship! You do n't just. Fuck you!
    She hangs up and enters her bedroom , in tears .
    VI
    ( cont 'd . )
    Fuck him! Fuck him! Fuck him.
    MELINDA
    Vi? Are you OK?
    VI
    Yes. I'm OK. I'm totally OK.
    Melinda rises , puts a hand on her shoulder .
    MELINDA
    You did the right thing.
    VI
    I know that. Fucking cripple. Why do I waste my time with undergrads? They're all so. juvenile! Uch! I just thought Marcus would be different. I mean he's got CP!
    Pause .
    MELINDA
    What are you gon na do now?
    VI
    I dunno. go to a bar. get laid. whatever. Do n't worry about me. I'll be fine.
    She starts changing into a new outfit .

EXT. BAR - NIGHT
    Students hang around outside . Vi goes inside .

INT. BAR - NIGHT
    Vi walks up to the bar .
    VI
    Can I have a beer?
    After getting her beer , Vi turns around and suddenly notices Mr Scott , who is sitting alone . She goes over to him .
    VI
    ( cont 'd . )
    Hi.
    MR SCOTT
    Hello, Vi.
    VI
    What are you doing here?
    MR SCOTT
    What are you doing here?
    VI
    I'm sorry. I did n't mean, I just did n't expect to run into you here, that's all.
    MR SCOTT
    Well, now you have.
    Vi laughs , sort of , ten blushes .
    VI
    Yeah, um, then. are you alone?
    MR SCOTT
    Uh huh.
    VI
    Can I join you?
    Mr Scott gestures for her to sit down with him .
    VI
    ( cont 'd . )
    Gee, thanks. Well, um. I just wanted to say that I'm really happy with the class and, um. I know you must here this all the time, but I'm also a great admirer of your work. A Sunday Lynching, especially. really, um spoke to me. God, I hope I'm not embarrassing you.
    MR SCOTT
    You're not.
    VI
    Good.
    ( beat . )
    'Cause I. um. I really agreed with everything you had to say last week about how bad my story was.
    MR SCOTT
    That's good.
    VI
    And I also agreed with what you said today about Marcus's story. It is a piece of shit.
    Pause .
    MR SCOTT
    You have beautiful skin.
    VI
    Thank you.
    ( beat . )
    So Catherine seems like she might become a really good writer.
    MR SCOTT
    Maybe. She's OK.
    Pause .
    VI
    Are n't you going out with Catherine?
    ( beat . )
    I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I did n't mean.
    MR SCOTT
    I'm not ` going out' with Catherine.
    VI
    Oh.
    ( beat . )
    Do you think I have a potential as a writer?
    MR SCOTT
    No.
    VI
    Thank you for being honest.
    Mr Scott leans over and touches her hand .
    VI
    I have so much respect for you.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT
    Mr Scott and Vi walk together in silence .

INT. MR SCOTT'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
    Vi and Mr Scott enter . He turns around and looks at her . Pause .
    VI
    Can I just freshen up for a second?
    He indicates the direction of the bathroom .
    MR SCOTT
    It's over there.
    VI
    Thanks.

INT. MR SCOTT'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
    Vi enters , locks the door behind her . She looks at herself in the mirror , then notices a snapshot of Catherine : she is naked , legs open wide . Other erotic photographs lie beneath Catherine 's .
    VI
    ( to herself , almost chanting . )
    Do n't be a racist. Do n't be a racist. Do n't be a racist.

INT. MR SCOTT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
    Vi emerges from the bathroom to find Mr Scott lounging on the bed .
    VI
    It's a really nice place you have. Is the rent high?
    MR SCOTT
    Take off your top.
    She obliges .
    MR SCOTT
    Now. take off the rest.
    She does , and he looks hard at her . Finally he rises .
    MR SCOTT
    Turn around.
    She does .
    MR SCOTT
    Bend over.
    He starts making love to her , from behind .
    MR SCOTT
    ( cont 'd . )
    ( whispers . )
    Say, ` nigger, fuck me.'
    VI
    Oh, bu. uh. I ca n't say that.
    MR SCOTT
    Say, Ni.
    VI
    Ni.
    MR SCOTT
    gger.
    VI
    gger.
    MR SCOTT
    Say, ` Nigger.'
    VI
    Nigger.
    MR SCOTT
    ` Fuck me hard!'
    VI
    Fuck me hard!
    MR SCOTT
    Say, ` Nigger, fuck me hard!'
    VI
    Nigger, fuck me hard!
    MR SCOTT
    Again!
    VI
    Nigger, fuck me hard!
    MR SCOTT
    Again!
    VI
    NIGGER, FUCK ME HARD!

EXT. MARCUS'S DORMITORY - NIGHT
    Lights are out .

INT. MARCUS'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
    Marcus looks in the mirror , ponders his reflection .
    MARCUS
    Freak.
    There is a soft knock at the door . He turns away from the mirror and opens it . Vi is there , teary - eyed , disheveled .
    VI
    Can I come in?
    They embrace .
    MARCUS
    You're all. sweaty!

INT. MR SCOTTS CLASSROOM - DAY
    Vi finishes reading her story to the class .
    VI
    . So John flipped her around and slammed her against the wall. Jane braced herself : she thought about her mother. She thought about Peter. She thought about God. and rape.'' Say, ` Fuck me, nigger. Fuck me hard.''' John's flesh abraded her soft skin. There would be marks. She acquiesced, and said what he asked her to say, and did what he asked her to do. She had entered college with hope, with dignity, but she would graduate as a whore.'
    Silence .
    AMY
    Why do people have to be so ugly. write about such ugly characters? It's perverted. I know you all think I'm being prisssy, but I do n't care. I was brought up in a certain way. And this is. mean - spirited!
    Pause .
    JOYCE
    Yeah, well, it did seem a little affected. Like by using taboo language you were trying to shock us about the hollowness of your characters.
    ETHAN
    I think it was a little bit racist.
    ELLI
    It was completely racist, and beyond that I felt deeply offended as a woman. As if a woman can only operate from experiences of objectification.
    SUE
    Totally phallocentric.
    ELLI
    And so weirdly misogynistic. I mean, why does Jane go through with this? Is she stupid?
    ETHAN
    Hey, But was n't this a rape? Or. did I miss something? Because I - I'm confused. Because if this was a rape, then why would she be a whore?
    CATHERINE
    ( beat . )
    It was confessional, yet dishonest. Jane pretends to be horrified by the sexuality that she in fact fetishizes. She subsumes herself to the myth of black male potency, but then does n't follow through. She thinks she ` respects Afro - Americans,' she thinks they're ` cool,' ` exotic,' what a notch he'd make in her belt, but, of course, it all comes down to mandingo cliché, and he calls her on it. In classic racist tradition she demonizes, then runs for cover. But then, how could she behave otherwise? She's just a spoiled suburban white girl with a Benneton rainbow complex. It's just my opinion, and what do I know. but I think it's a callow piece of writing.
    MR SCOTT
    Callow and coy. Jane wants more, but is n't honest enough to admit it. In the end, she returns to the safety of her crippled.
    ( translation : sexually impotent . )
    boyfriend.
    MARCUS
    This is bullshit! Her story was the truth!
    JOYCE
    Right.
    SUE
    It's unbelievable!
    ELLI
    It's clichéd!
    AMY
    It's disgusting!
    VI
    But it happened!
    Silence .
    MR SCOTT
    I do n't know about ` what happened,' Vi, because once you start writing, it all becomes fiction. Still, it certainly is an improvement over your last story : There is now at least a beginning, a middle, and an end.
    TITLE CARD : ` NONFICTION '

INT. TOBY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
    A Lower East Side tenement apartment . A dogma '95 poster hangs above the bed . Toby , down and out and in his thirties , leafs through his high - school yearbook . He reads an inscription : ` Toby , I just know you 're going to become a movie star ! Please do n't forget me when you make it to the top ! I will always love you - Pam ' . He picks up his phone and dials .
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Hello?
    TOBY
    Hello, is this Pam?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Who is this?
    TOBY
    Toby Oxman.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Toby -? Oh, hi! How are you?
    TOBY
    Oh, fine. How are you?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Great!
    TOBY
    Great!
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    So what's going on?
    TOBY
    That's what I was gon na ask you.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    But. you called.
    TOBY
    Oh, yeah, well. um. I was just calling because, well, I was wondering if you still remembered me, which I guess you do.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Yeah.
    Pause .
    TOBY
    So. Look at where we are : the year 2000! Can you believe it? I mean, did you ever think we would actually make it?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Um, well, yeah.
    ( beat . )
    So are you still acting?
    TOBY
    Oh, no, not any more. No, um, I kind of came to terms with myself, I realized I had done what I had to do. And it was time to move on.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Oh. So what did you do after you gave up on acting?
    TOBY
    Well, I went to law school, if you can believe that.
    Mike , Toby 's roommate and cameraman , enters looking for a towel , then goes to take a shower .
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    I believe it.
    TOBY
    Yeah, well, it was really all kind of a joke - and a rip - off, so, uh. so I dropped out.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Oh, that's too bad.
    TOBY
    Yeah, well, then it got me writing, so that was a good thing.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Anything I might know about?
    TOBY
    Well, um, I kind of let things go on this novel I'd been really into - I mean, the whole publishing industry is totally corrupt. I mean, really, it's finished.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    That's too bad.
    TOBY
    I worked over at a homeless shelter for a while, drove a cab to pay the rent, but, I mean, that was like - I mean, I have some dignity.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    That's good. So then what do you do now?
    TOBY
    I'm a documentary filmmaker.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Oh? Anything I might have seen?
    TOBY
    N - not yet. I'm hoping to get a grant for this one project on teenagers. Geez, remember when we were teenagers?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Yeah. You did n't wan na take me to the prom.
    TOBY
    Oh, I do n't remember that.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    I do.
    TOBY
    Well, but it was so long ago. We were so different back then.
    No response .
    TOBY
    ( CONT 'D . )
    Uh, well, anyway, so I'm looking for subjects for this documentary on teenage life in suburbia. Kind of an exploration of the mental psyche of its mythology. I wrote to Derrida to see if he'd like to do the narration. But everything's still kind of in development at this point.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Hunh.
    TOBY
    ( beat . )
    I work in a shoe store right now. But it's cool. I'm not ashamed. I mean, really, I have a much stronger sense of self now. And, uh, anyways, it's really very temporary.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    That's good.
    TOBY
    Yeah. um. so anyway, tell me. What about you? I'd heard through the grapevine you were producing movies.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Yeah. But not any more.
    TOBY
    Oh. Tired of ` life in the fast lane'?
    No response .
    TOBY
    ( CONT 'D . )
    Yeah. So you're um. you're married?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Yeah.
    TOBY
    Huh. Kids?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Yeah.
    TOBY
    How many?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Three.
    TOBY
    Great. How old are they?
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Eight, six, and four.
    TOBY
    Wow, that really is great. In a few years, who knows, maybe they'll want to be in my documentary!
    Pause .
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    Listen, Toby, I ca n't really talk right now. Do you mind if I call you back?
    TOBY
    Yeah, sure.
    PAM
    ( V.O . )
    OK. Bye.
    TOBY
    ( to himself , after pause . )
    Maybe she has caller ID.

EXT. FAIRFIELD HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
    It is bright and shiny .
    MR. DEMARCO
    ( V.O . )
    Do you have any hobbies?

INT. MR. DEMARCO'S OFFICE - DAY
    Scooby , seventeen , and Mr DeMarco , the guidance counselor , sit opposite each other .
    SCOOBY
    No, not really.
    MR. DEMARCO
    Any books you like to read for fun?
    SCOOBY
    No.
    MR. DEMARCO
    None at all? How about those ` underground' comics?
    SCOOBY
    I hate reading.
    MR. DEMARCO
    ( beat . )
    All right, Scooby, let's not beat around the bush. With your attitude, you're not going to get in anywhere.
    SCOOBY
    OK.
    MR. DEMARCO
    ` OK.' So you just do n't care.
    ( beat . )
    Let me ask you, not as your guidance counselor, but. as a friend : what do you want to do with your life? I mean, what kind of long - term goals can you possibly have?
    SCOOBY
    I dunno.
    MR. DEMARCO
    C'mon. Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking.
    SCOOBY
    Well, I mean. I wan na be on TV. Maybe have a talk show or something. Like Conan. Or early Letterman.
    MR. DEMARCO
    Ah - hah. And how is it you hope to achieve this goal?
    SCOOBY
    I dunno. See if I have any connections.

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – EVENING
    The sprinkler system is still on .

INT. DINING ROOM – EVENING
    The family is sitting waiting at the table : FERN , Scooby 's attractive mother ; MARTY , his bullish father ; BRADY , sixteen , his handsome jock brother ; and MIKEY , ten his smart youngest brother . CONSUELO , the maid , brings some bread to the table .
    FERN
    Did you knock on his door?
    MICKEY
    Yes, but he just shouted at me and used the f - word.
    MARTY
    Scooby! Dinner!
    No response . Pause .
    MICKEY
    Would anyone be interested in being hypnotized after dinner?
    FERN/MARTY/BRADY
    No.
    Pause .
    FERN
    Let's just start.
    They eat .
    MARTY
    I do n't know what's wrong with that kid.
    BRADY
    Maybe he's gay.
    MARTY
    Do n't ever say that.
    BRADY
    What if he is?
    MARTY
    He is n't.
    FERN
    Marty, ignore him.
    BRADY
    He's vegetarian, does n't do sports.
    MARTY
    Brady!
    Pause .
    FERN
    And even if he is.
    Pause .
    MIKEY
    Gay people are people too, you know. You're just being prejudiced.
    BRADY
    I do n't care is he's gay. I'm cool. I mean, it's not like I have to share his room or anything.
    MARTY
    I just want to know what the hell he's doing in his room that's so interesting he does n't come down for dinner.
    MIKEY
    Maybe he's building a bomb. just like -!
    FERN
    Do n't even joke about that!
    MIKEY
    I'm serious! What happens if he blows up the school?
    A tense pause , followed by a distant crushing sound .
    SCOOBY
    ( O.S . )
    Fuck!
    MARTY
    I'm going in there.
    Scooby appears .
    SCOOBY
    Was anyone in my room today?
    FERN
    Is everything OK?
    SCOOBY
    My CD case like totally collapsed. I'm gon na have to recatalogue all weekend.
    ( sitting down . )
    Hey. Can you pass the salad over.
    MARTY
    ( beat . )
    Steak's really good tonight.
    SCOOBY
    ( beat . )
    Good.
    FERN
    Got a lot of homework?
    SCOOBY
    I dunno.
    MARTY
    Whaddya mean you do n't know? You either got a lot or you do n't. What's not to know?
    FERN
    Marty.
    MARTY
    ( beat . )
    You started filling out your college applications yet?
    SCOOBY
    I'm not going to college.
    Pause .
    FERN
    What are you going to do?
    SCOOBY
    I dunno.
    MARTY
    What DO you know?
    SCOOBY
    Dad, I'm trying to figure things out right now, OK? It's like, really hard, and I'm just listening to some old Elton John and.
    Brady mouths : ` Gay ! '
    MARTY
    Out! Leave the table!
    BRADY
    What?
    MARTY
    You heard me : leave the table!
    BRADY
    ( rising . )
    Man, I am out of here! This family is so fucked!
    Brady leaves .
    MIKEY
    Mom, it's not fair if Brady can say the f - word and I ca n't.
    MARTY
    Yeah, well, Mikey, listen up. Cause here's a lesson : life's not fair.

EXT. LIVINSTON HOME - DAY
    A red sports car drives up front . Esposito , Brady 's buddy , drops off Brady and Cheryl , Brady 's cheerleader girlfriend . A cleaning woman walks along the sidewalk on her way to the bus stop .
    BRADY
    I'll talk to you later, man!
    ESPOSITO
    Yo, dude!
    CHERYL
    Thanks, Esposito!

INT. TV ROOM – DAY
    Brady , still in his football outfit , tracks in some dirt . Cheryl follows him to his room , giggling . Mikey sits on the sofa while Consuelo continues her housework .
    MIKEY
    Consuelo?
    CONSUELO
    Yes, Mikey?
    MIKEY
    Do you have any brothers or sisters?
    CONSUELO
    Yes.
    MIKEY
    Really? How many?
    CONSUELO
    Four brothers and five sisters.
    MIKEY
    Wow.
    ( beat . )

    Why did your parents have so many children ? I mean , if they were poor , would n't it be better to have just one or two ?
    CONSUELO
    It was God's will.
    MIKEY
    But do you really believe in God? And heaven, hell and angels and all kind of stuff?
    CONSUELO
    ( beat . )
    No.

INT. DINING ROOM – EVENING
    The Livingstons are eating dinner .
    MARTY
    So? How was school today?
    SCOOBY
    The same.
    MARTY
    The same. Same as what?
    SCOOBY
    Just the same.
    A tense pause .
    BRADY
    We're studying the Holocaust in Social Studies.
    MARTY
    Oh, yeah?
    SCOOBY
    We did the same thing last year also.
    FERN
    How was the class?
    BRADY
    Well, I'm supposed to watch Schindler's List for homework. The movie's like almost four hours. And then I'm supposed to write a report on survivors.
    ( to Marty . )
    You know any survivors, Dad?
    MARTY
    Hmmm. Do I know any. personally?
    FERN
    Well, technically your Zeda is a survivor.
    BRADY
    He was in a concentration camp?
    FERN
    Well, no. But he had to escape the Nazis.
    BRADY
    But I thought he came over to America before the war.
    FERN
    Well, he did. With his family. But his cousins, they had to stay and they were all killed. And if he'd stayed, he would have been killed. So in my book he's a survivor.
    BRADY
    Even though it was only his cousins that were killed?
    FERN
    But that could've happened to him. Or to me, if I'd been alive. Or you.
    MIKEY
    Or me?
    SCOOBY
    You mean, then, we're all survivors?
    FERN
    Well. yes. If it had n't been for Hitler, he would n't have had to leave Europe. We would have been. European.
    SCOOBY
    But then, in a sense, since you would never have met Dad if your family had stayed in Europe. if it were n't for Hitler, none of us would have been born.
    A long pause .
    MARTY
    Get the hell outta here!
    SCOOBY
    ( rising . )
    Man, it's just, like, conversation.

INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE
    Toby sits across from Mr Kirk .
    MR KIRK
    Tell me : you make a living at this?
    TOBY
    Well, sir. uh. I'm actually not doing this for the money. When you make a documentary, you do it for many reasons, but money is certainly not one of them.
    MR KIRK
    I do n't get it.
    TOBY
    Well, sir, a lot has happened to the landscape of the suburban high school since I was a student, and I feel it would be a valuable, perhaps even enlightening endeavor, to chronicle the changes, to get intimate with the realities kids and parents face in American schools today.
    MR KIRK
    Yeah, well, whatever. I'll let you know if there's interest.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY
    Toby pauses by the receptionist before leaving .
    TOBY
    Excuse me, where's the bathroom?

INT. LAVATORY – DAY
    Toby rushes to the urinal . Scooby is sitting in a corner , smoking a joint , observing him . Toby smells the pot , turns and smiles at him .
    SCOOBY
    You a pervert?
    TOBY
    No. Actually, I'm a documentary filmmaker?
    SCOOBY
    Oh. You mean, like, Blair Witch Project?
    TOBY
    Well, no. I'm doing one on high school students, in fact.
    SCOOBY
    What for?
    TOBY
    Well. it's kind of a sociological study in the aftermath of Columbine.
    SCOOBY
    Is this to like get into Sundance?
    TOBY
    Yeah, well, it's possible they would be interested in it.
    SCOOBY
    Doubt it.
    TOBY
    Actually, there is some interest from the Sundance Channel.
    SCOOBY
    Whoopee.
    TOBY
    HBO and MTV have also shown some interest.
    Pause .
    SCOOBY
    So you have connections.

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – NIGHT
    The lights are on .
    TOBY
    ( V.O . )
    You see, we're trying to do a film on suburban lifestyles.

INT. LIVINGSTON HOME – NIGHT
    Toby sits in the living room surrounded by the Livingston family . Marty fingers a card that reads : TOBY OXMAN , DOCUMENTARIAN . His address and phone number are printed below .
    TOBY
    kind of An American Family for the new millennium.
    FERN
    I thought this was about kids getting into college.
    TOBY
    Oh, it is. I mean --
    MARTY
    Which is it? You got ta keep your focus straight.
    TOBY
    You're absolutely right. The focus is on the college admissions process today.
    Pause .
    MARTY
    And you want Scooby to be the focus of all this?
    TOBY
    Scooby and a few other students of different socioeconomic backgrounds.
    MARTY
    Oh, well, I do n't have them yet, but --
    MARTY
    Either Scooby is the focus, or forget it.
    SCOOBY
    Yeah, I thought I was the focus.
    MIKEY
    I wan na be the focus.
    Brady slaps him .
    FERN
    Toby, we need this to be a positive experience.
    TOBY
    Well, I suppose I could reconceive.
    MARTY
    Reconceive.
    TOBY
    'Cause Scooby does have a quality that I've been looking for, a quality that is emblematic of American today. It's part disillusionment, part hope.
    Consuelo comes in with tea and Twinkies .
    MIKEY
    Twinkeys!
    FERN
    Boys, take napkins. Napkins.
    MARTY
    Not to be crass, but what do we get out of this?
    FERN
    ( laughs . )
    Do n't worry, he does n't mean money.
    TOBY
    Oh, I know, I know that. Well, sharing your story, your ups and downs, and so forth, can I hope, be an illuminating experience.
    MARTY
    Yeah. How do we know we wo n't be exploited?
    FERN
    No, it's true.
    TOBY
    Mr Livingston, I fully understand and I share your concerns. You fell vulnerable. And I know that this is a very difficult question, but what it comes down to is : can you make a leap of faith in me, in the same way that I have to make a leap of faith in you?
    ON VIDEO : INT . LOCKER ROOM -- DAY Big Esposito , in football attire , surrounded by Brady and other athletes , talks to Toby . Kids whip towels at each other in the background .
    ESPOSITO
    This is a great school. I do n't care what anybody says. I mean, it's not perfect, but like the people are really cool, like the teachers and kids. they really care and all. And I know that they make fun of New Jersey all the time, but I do n't care.'Cause they're just snobs.'Cause Jersey is where America's at!
    ON VIDEO : INT . EMPTY SCHOOL HALLWAY -- DAY
    TOBY
    ( V.O . )
    Walking down these hallways just like the ones I once walked down as a teenager, I could n't help thinking back to a time when every day I woke up depressed, suicidal, consumed by despair. Had things changed? Was the competition to get into the most prestigious schools still a requisite rite of passage? Beneath these masks of courtesy and friendliness I knew that there were darker forces at work. and I knew that Scooby was the key to revealing the truth.
    VARIOUS SHOTS OF SCOOBY . looking pensive .
    TOBY
    ( V.O . )
    Scooby, Scooby, Scooby. What are you thinking? College, SATs, your parents, your brothers, your friends. How is it you deal with all this stress?
    ON VIDEO : INT . CLASSROOM -- DAY A school psychologist sits at her desk .
    ELIZABETH ST. CLAIR
    The pressure to get into the college of your choice is incredible. You know, they did a study recently of the youth in Bosnia during the bombing, and they found that the stress the young people experienced there was less than what American high - school students go through when applying to college.
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    Is that right?
    ELIZABETH ST. CLAIR
    Yes.
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    Oh, my God.

INT. EDITING ROOM – NIGHT
    Toby and his editor examine the footage on an AVID .
    TOBY
    So whaddya think?
    EDITOR
    Well, I'm not really sure what you're trying to say. It's funny, I suppose. But it seems glib and facile to just make fun of how idiotic these people are.
    TOBY
    I'm not making fun. I'm showing it as it really is.
    EDITOR
    You're showing how superior you are to your subject.
    TOBY
    No, but I like my subject. I like these people.
    EDITOR
    No, you do n't.
    TOBY
    Yes, I do. I love them!
    Pause .
    EDITOR
    The camerawork's nice.
    TOBY
    Thanks. I'll tell Mike.
    ( beat . )
    Well, it's still just a beginning. I know I can. dig deeper.

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    It is bright and sunny .

INT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    Fern is in the kitchen talking on the phone . She has a list of names and notes in front of her . Consuelo dusts in the background . Toby and Mike stand nearby with a video camera , recording everything .
    FERN
    but Marj -- may I call you Marj? -- what it really boils down to is. what does it mean to be a Jew? Exactly. Tzedakah. Charity. And the new wing at Beth Israel is. Well, actually, last year you gave $ 500. But this year $ 1,000 would not only be a mitzvah, it would bring you to a new level. Yes, of course. Your gift would also give you a Chagall menorah and two tickets to the dinner dance this spring. Because it's true : Israel needs us now. If not now, when? Well, that's wonderful. I'll speak to you next week. You too! Take care!
    She hangs up just as Scooby walks inside , fresh from school .
    FERN
    Hi, Scooby! How was school today?
    SCOOBY
    Fine.
    FERN
    Ready for tomorrow?
    SCOOBY
    What's tomorrow?
    FERN
    The SATs, knucklehead.
    SCOOBY
    I'm not taking them.
    He walks off . ON VIDEO : INT . DINNER ROOM -- EVENING The family is eating dinner . There is a tense silence , finally broken by Mikey .
    MIKEY
    Mom?
    FERN
    Yes, Mikey?
    MIKEY
    I was looking through Scooby's SATs practice books this afternoon and I took one of the practice tests. Guess what score I got?
    FERN
    What?
    MIKEY
    550 verbal, 520 math. And I'm only in fifth grade!
    Everyone turns to glare at him .

INT. CHILDREN'S BATHROOM – NIGHT
    Scooby is brushing his teeth when Marty enters .
    MARTY
    Scooby?
    SCOOBY
    Yeah?
    MARTY
    We have to talk.
    Pause .
    SCOOBY
    Whaddya wan na talk about?
    MARTY
    Do n't screw around with me. You know what I'm talking about.
    ( beat . )
    You're taking those SATs. You're taking those SATs or your CD collection is history. You're taking those SATs and you're going to college. You're taking those SATs if I have to strap your ass to a chair, but buddy your taking them.
    Pause . SCOOBY OK .
    MARTY
    ( under his breath as he starts walking away . )
    Tired of this shit.

INT. SCHOOL GYM - DAY
    Toby and Mike shoot footage of the students as they take their SATs . Scooby is filling out his SAT in such a way that he creates a pattern of filled blanks that spells : FUCK THIS SHIT .

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    Toby and Mike are interviewing Brady and Cheryl in the driveway . Off to the side , Mikey tries hypnotizing a cat .
    TOBY
    So are you surprised that Scooby took the SATs after all?
    BRADY
    Not really. He's kind of a wuss.
    TOBY
    OK. How about you, Cheryl? Were you surprised?
    CHERYL
    I dunno. Whatever.
    TOBY
    Hmm.
    BRADY
    Hey, how come you drive such a shitty car?
    CHERYL
    Yeah.
    TOBY
    ( joins their laughter . )
    I do n't know. That's interesting, though. A cool car. Is that something that's real important to you, Brady?
    BRADY
    Yeah.
    CHERYL
    Uh duh.

INT. SCOOBY'S BEDROOM – DAY
    Scooby handles a gun his friend Stanley has given him .
    SCOOBY
    Pretty cool, Stanley.
    STANLEY
    Thanks.
    SCOOBY
    How'd you get it?
    STANLEY
    It's my Dad's He hides it under some old TV Guides in his closet.
    SCOOBY
    Gee, your Dad's smart.
    STANLEY
    I know.
    SCOOBY
    Is it loaded?
    STANLEY
    No, I do n't think so.
    Scooby points it at his head .
    STANLEY
    Scooby, do n't! Be careful!
    SCOOBY
    I'm not an idiot, man. I watch TV.
    STANLEY
    I Know. I'm sorry. I'm just. a little nervous, I do n't know why.
    SCOOBY
    You should be.
    Scooby points it at Stanley , gets a terrified reaction , then tosses the gun aside .
    SCOOBY
    Here. You can keep it.
    He lies down . Pause .
    STANLEY
    Scooby?
    SCOOBY
    Yeah?
    STANLEY
    You know. I like you.
    SCOOBY
    Yeah. I know.
    STANLEY
    I mean.
    STANLEY
    I know. Everyone knows.
    STANLEY
    Oh.
    ( beat . )
    Do you think that you'd let me. um.
    Pause .
    SCOOBY
    OK. If you feel like it. Just give me a second.
    He pulls a bag of mushrooms out from beneath his night table , takes some and offers to Stanley .
    SCOOBY
    You want some?
    STANLEY
    No, thanks.
    Scooby flicks on a CD , then lies down . DREAM SEQUENCE -- EXT. . LIVINGSTON HOME -- DAY While Stanley goes down on Scooby , the camera pans away from Scooby to reveal Marty and Fern being burned at the stake in the front yarn , writhing and screaming in agony .
    MARTY
    I'm so sorry! I should never have made you take the SATs!
    The camera then pans to reveal Conan O'Brien approaching .
    CONAN
    Hey, Scooby! How's it going?
    SCOOBY
    Conan O'Brien? Whoa! What are you doing here?
    CONAN
    I'm looking for a last - minute guest for my show. Any suggestions?
    SCOOBY
    I'll be your guest!
    CONAN
    Really? Well, all right! Let's take a look at the television and see how we look.
    The camera pans to reveal a TV standing on the lawn .
    SCOOBY
    Cool!
    Conan turns on the TV and we move inside it to see Conan and Scooby sharing some talk - show patter and repartee .
    CONAN
    Welcome to the show, Scooby.
    SCOOBY
    Thank you.
    CONAN
    Nice to have you here.
    SCOOBY
    Great to be here.
    CONAN
    And thank you for dressing up for us. This is very classy. Tell us. What kind of professional plans do you have? What's in your future?
    SCOOBY
    Well, I was thinking. I might work for you.
    CONAN
    Ahh. tell me. What do you want to do for me? What's your idea?
    SCOOBY
    Be your sidekick, you know, and maybe eventually become a TV talk - show host.
    CONAN
    TV talk - show host, OK. You were at sidekick eight seconds ago, then TV talk - show host. You'll be a Latin dictator in a bout a minute.
    Audience laughter .
    CONAN
    Let's see what they think of the first idea. I'm curious what the audience thinks. Folks, what do you think : should Scooby be my new sidekick?
    Audience cheers .
    CONAN
    Scooby, new sidekick, everybody!
    Bigger round of applause . RETURN TO REALITY : INT . CHILDREN 'S BATHROOM -- NIGHT Scooby has spaced out while flossing . There is a knock at the door .
    SCOOBY
    Yeah?
    Brady enters .
    BRADY
    Hey.
    SCOOBY
    Hey. What's up?
    BRADY
    There's something I need to talk about with you.
    SCOOBY
    What?
    BRADY
    There are some rumors.
    SCOOBY
    Like what?
    BRADY
    You know. Stanley.
    SCOOBY
    Oh.
    BRADY
    And like, do n't take this the wrong way. I mean, I'm cool. but. you know. I've got a good reputation at school and, well. I really do n't want it ruined.
    He is visibly upset . Pause .
    SCOOBY
    No prob. I'm cool.
    BRADY
    Thanks, Scoob.

EXT. HIGH-SCHOOL PLAYING FIELD – DAY
    A football scrimmage is in progress . A play ends , and the Coach comes on to the field , barking :
    COACH
    Esposito, What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're tackling like a bitch on my football team, son! You got ta bend your ass over and hit somebody! You understand me?
    ESPOSITO
    Yes, sir!
    COACH
    You understand me?
    ESPOSITO
    Yes, sir!
    COACH
    Then do it! Livingston! That's the way to hit that hole, son!
    Brady waves a Cheryl in the stands .
    COACH
    We're gon na become a football team today, guys! Let's move the ball! Move! Move! Move! I wan na see you hit those holes! Defense, fill those goddam gaps! Let's go, guys! Let's do it!
    On the next play Brady runs to catch a pass , but is moved down by Esposito shouting , ` KILL HIM ! ' Cheryl jumps up , alarmed . O.S. cheerleaders finish their ` Go Bucks ! ' cheer , but Brady does n't rise .

INT. HOSPITAL ICU – EVENING
    Brady lies unconscious in bed , hooked up to machines . Marty , Fern , Scooby , and Cheryl stand around him .

INT. LIVINGSTON HOME – NIGHT
    Mikey sits at the kitchen table with Consuelo . He is eating ice cream .
    MIKEY
    When I'm in high school I'm not going to play any football. I'm just going to concentrate on class rank.
    ( beat . )
    What did you do in high school?
    CONSUELO
    I did not go to high school.
    MIKEY
    Were n't there high schools in El Salvador?
    CONSUELO
    We had to work. My family was poor.
    MIKEY
    Must've been hard being poor.
    CONSUELO
    I'm still poor.
    MIKEY
    Hmmm.
    ( beat . )
    But, Consuelo, even though your poor, do n't you have any hobbies or interests or anything?
    CONSUELO
    No, Mikey.
    MIKEY
    But like, what do you like to do when you're not working?
    CONSUELO
    I'm always working.
    MIKEY
    But when you're not. Like now. What do you like to do?
    CONSUELO
    This is work.
    MIKEY
    But it's not like real work. This is just babysitting.
    Consuelo stares hard at him in silence .
    MIKEY
    You know, your job's really not so bad, if you think about it. You should smile more often.
    ON VIDEO : DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE OF : -LRB- 1 -RRB- Driving - along - the - neighborhood shots ; a lam post ; a sign ; a floating straw wrapper .
    TOBY
    ( V.O . )
    When the sky is clear and the sun is warm, you're reminded of how beautiful things can be : a lamp post, a sign, a straw wrapper blowing in the wind... But when that dark cloud appears, you realize how fragile the balance of life is.
    -LRB- 2 -RRB- The neurologist Dr Barry Jordan discussing Brady 's condition :
    DR JORDAN
    When Brady first arrived at the hospital he was unresponsive to verbal stimuli. Wee performed a CT scan which demonstrated a large subdural hemotoma with mass effect. Since the removal of the subdural he's been in coma.
    -LRB- 3 -RRB- A psychologist discussing the effect of the Brady crisis on his family :
    DR GOODMAN
    When I first met the Livingstons it was in the first twenty four hours of Brady coming in after his tragic football accident and they were acting in a fairly typical way...
    -LRB- 4 -RRB- The Livingstons consulting with Dr Goodman in a hospital waiting room :
    MARTY
    We're not the ones who need the help. My son needs help.
    DR GOODMAN
    And you -
    MARTY
    My son's in there! He ca n't even feed himself, he ca n't eat -- I do n't even know if he's going to be a vegetable or not, for Chrissake!
    The picture freezes and then zooms into a close up on Scooby .
    TOBY
    ( V.O . )
    But what about Scooby? How would this effect him? What meaning is to be found in this?

INT. EDITING ROOM – DAY
    Toby and his editor finish watching this latest footage .
    EDITOR
    This is definitely better.
    TOBY
    You think so? You do n't think that this might not be a little dry?
    EDITOR
    This is entertainment you're making, Toby. This story about a kid in the suburbs and the state of the college admissions process has, with this Brady crisis, evolved into something much richer and more provocative.
    TOBY
    Yes, I know... But still, it should be somewhat entertaining.
    EDITOR
    I mean, without this footage, without this rigorous documentation, it would feel like exploitation.
    TOBY
    No, no, no. No exploitation. This is serious... But do n't you find it a little funny too, at the same time?
    EDITOR
    You've got a family tragedy on your hands. Will you tell me what's funny about that? About a kid in a coma?
    TOBY
    Nothing, I guess...
    EDITOR
    I mean, why are you making this documentary if you ca n't treat your subject with appropriate gravity?
    TOBY
    OK, you're right, you're right....
    ( beat . )
    You know, we need to screen what we've got... invite some regular people, just some random off - the - street types... and see what real people think of this.
    EDITOR
    I dunno, Toby. We really have a long way to go. You still need a lot more footage, and it's probably a little premature to start screening...
    TOBY
    OK, then we can invite serious intellectual types.
    EDITOR
    We're not ready.
    TOBY
    Hip alternative types who will understand the process better...
    EDITOR
    We're not ready!
    TOBY
    Well, I need to see this with an audience!
    EDITOR
    What's an audience going to tell you?
    TOBY
    I do n't know. Maybe they'll like it.

INT. LIVINGSTON HOME – NIGHT
    Mikey opens the refrigerator , takes out a bottle of grape juice , pours a cup for himself , then accidentally spills it all on the floor .
    MIKEY
    Consuelo! I spilled some grape juice on the floor!... Consuelo?!

INT. BASEMENT RECREATION ROOM – NIGHT
    Mikey goes downstairs , finds her alone in her bedroom . She appears to be upset .
    MIKEY
    Consuelo?
    No response .
    MIKEY
    Consuelo. Are you crying?
    CONSUELO
    No.
    MIKEY
    Yes, you are. I can tell. What's the matter?
    CONSUELO
    Mi Jesus... mi jesus...
    MIKEY
    Speak English.
    CONSUELO
    Mi Jesus esta muerto!
    MIKEY
    Consuelo, I'm sorry, but you know if you do n't speak English I ca n't understand you.
    CONSUELO
    My Jesus...
    MIKEY
    Who is Jesus?
    CONSUELO
    My baby.
    MIKEY
    You have a bay?
    CONSUELO
    My grandchild - baby.
    MIKEY
    Gee, I did n't even know you had any children. But why are you so upset about Jesus?
    CONSUELO
    He's dead.
    MIKEY
    Oh. How did it happen?
    CONSUELO
    He was executed. He was on Death Row and then he was executed.
    MIKEY
    How did they execute him?
    CONSUELO
    Poison gas.
    MIKEY
    ( beat . )
    Maybe it's for the best... I mean, if he was guilty of doing something wrong... People who are bad should be killed. Do n't you think so?
    CONSUELO
    Jesus was not bad.
    MIKEY
    Maybe he was and you just did n't know it.
    CONSUELO
    He was n't.
    MIKEY
    But still, you ca n't be sure.
    CONSUELO
    I am sure.
    MIKEY
    But really, you never know.
    CONSUELO
    I know!
    MIKEY
    ( beat . )
    Why was he on Death Row?
    CONSUELO
    For rape and murder.
    Pause .
    MIKEY
    Consuelo, what is rape exactly?
    CONSUELO
    ( beat . )
    It is when you love someone, and they do n't love you. And then you do something about it.
    Pause .
    MIKEY
    Sometimes I feel like my parents do n't love me.
    CONSUELO
    Well then, when you get older you can do something about it.
    A long pause .
    MIKEY
    Consuelo? I spilled some grape juice upstairs. Do you think you could clean up the floor now?

INT. BRADY'S BEDROOM – EVENING
    Marty and Mikey sit by the comatose Brady , who lies now in his own bed .
    MIKEY
    Dad?... Do you think that Brady will ever get better?
    MARTY
    One in a million recover.
    MIKEY
    Maybe he's that one in a million!
    MARTY
    Mikey, there's optimism, and then there's stupidity. It's a very fine line.
    Pause .
    MIKEY
    I do n't think there's any hope, either. I was just trying to make you feel better.
    MARTY
    Thanks.
    MIKEY
    You're welcome.
    ( beat . )
    Dad?... Would you let me try hypnotizing you now?
    MARTY
    Yeah. Sure Go ahead. Hypnotize me.
    MIKEY
    OK. Stay there. I'll be right back.
    Mikey hurries off to fetch his hypnotizing apparatus . Marty sits and waits .
    MIKEY
    Just a sec!... Be right there!
    Mikey returns , sets himself up across from Marty and takes out a shiny object .
    MIKEY
    Dad, can you turn around a bit, please?
    Marty obliges .
    MIKEY
    Thanks. All right. Now you must look at this shiny object and concentrate. Relax your legs. Relax your arms. Relax your shoulders. Now keep your eyes on the shiny object... Your eyelids are getting heavy... heavier... You're getting sleepy... sleepier... Now let your eyes close shut... and you are asleep.
    Marty 's head drops .
    MIKEY
    Now you are completely under my power. I am the only voice you can hear, the only voice you will listen to. Now. When you wake up you will be in a good mood. You wo n't worry so much about Brady. And I will be your favorite from now on. If Brady dies, you can be sad for a little bit, but I will still be the most important person in your life. You will never be mean to me, and always give me whatever I want. Also, you should fire Consuelo. She's lazy. Now when I snap my fingers, you will remember nothing, but you will do everything I have asked. One. Two. Three.
    Mikey snaps his fingers and Marty wakes up .
    MARTY
    Hey, Mikey. You wan na get some ice cream?
    MIKEY
    OK!

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    A couple of maids are walking by with white babies in strollers . ON VIDEO : INT . SCOOBY 'S BEDROOM -- DAY
    SCOOBY
    So like, yeah... I caved in. I mean, I had to. My parents, they're like... still really depressed about Brady. So I wrote the bullshit essay. Filled out the applications, did the interviews... Y' know, I figure I can always drop out.
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    So where'd you get in?
    SCOOBY
    Prnceton.
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    ( beat . )
    But what did you get on your SATs?
    SCOOBY
    200 verbal/710 math. Kinda weird, I know. But I think they thought it was, like, good - weird.
    ON VIDEO : INT . LIVING ROOM -- EVENING Marty and Fern sit on the sofa .
    MARTY
    We used pull.
    FERN
    You know, you have to. Sometimes you just have to, Toby.
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    But what kind of pull did you have?
    MARTY
    I have a cousin. Very big giver to the alumni fund.
    FERN
    It's all about who you know.
    MARTY
    Look, we're not suckers. Everyone else is out there doing the same thing.
    FERN
    He's right.

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    Scooby watches Toby and Mike as they try fixing their jammed camera .
    MIKE
    Damn, Toby... This thing wo n't open again.
    TOBY
    Let me try it, let me try it.
    ( takes camera from Mike . )
    It's um... The button is just stuck.
    SCOOBY
    Hey, um, Toby? I was wondering... Is the documentary almost finished?
    TOBY
    Uh, yeah, we're getting there.
    SCOOBY
    Can I see what you have so far?
    TOBY
    Sure... um... yeah, as soon as I have a screening I'll let you know.
    SCOOBY
    Thanks man.

INT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    Mikey and Consuelo are playing cards .
    MIKEY
    Gin! I win! Let's play again!
    He starts dealing another round when Marty suddenly appears , back from work .
    MARTY
    Hey, Mikey!
    MIKEY
    Hi, Dad!
    MARTY
    Come here, give me a hug!
    MIKEY
    Gee, you're home early!
    MARTY
    Yeah, uh, listen. Why do n't you go upstairs and keep your Mom and Brady company for a bit? I need to speak alone with Consuelo for a moment.
    MIKEY
    Sure, Dad.
    He runs up the stairs , pretends to disappear , but stays to observe .
    MARTY

    Consuelo . Mrs. Livingston and I have discussed this , and we 've come to the conclusion that we are not very happy with your work lately , so we 're going to let you go .
    CONSUELO
    I - I do n't understand.
    MARTY
    We've been happy with you in the past, but now we think maybe it's time for a change... uh... I know you've had trouble at home and maybe, you know, some of that is reflected I your work...
    CONSUELO
    But, Mr Livingston, I work very hard for you and your family!
    MARTY
    I understand, I understand that, and I'm sorry it had to end this way.

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME – DAY
    Consuelo exits the house and trudges towards the bus stop , carrying all her belongings . Other cleaning women are waiting for the bus as well .

INT. SCOOBY'S BEDROOM – DAY
    Scooby is looking at the address on Toby 's ` documentarian ' calling card . He picks up the phone and dials .

INT. SHOE STORE – DAY
    Dave , the store manager , leaves a costumer for a moment to pick up the phone .
    DAVE
    Florsheim. Can I help you?
    SCOOBY
    ( V.O . )
    Hi. I... uh. I'm trying to reach Toby Oxman?
    DAVE
    Sorry, he's off today.
    BACK TO SCOOBY ... on the phone .
    SCOOBY
    OK... um... Thanks.

EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY
    Scooby drives his Mom 's shiny new SUV to New York .

EXT. A RUN-DOWN TENEMENT NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
    Scooby pulls into a spot .

INT. TOBY'S APARTMENT BUILDING – DAY
    Scooby climbs a stairwell , rings a bell . Mike opens the door .
    SCOOBY
    Hey, uh, Mike. Is Toby here?
    MIKE
    Uh, no, he's not.
    SCOOBY
    Oh. Do you have any idea where he might be?
    MIKE
    I think he's at a test screening.

EXT. TOBY'S APARTMENT BUILDING – DAY
    Scooby hurries outside only to find his car stolen .

INT. SUBWAY – DAY
    Scooby rides a train .

INT. SCREENING-ROOM FACILITY – DAY
    Scooby sees a sign that reads : ` American Scooby : test screening . ' He goes into the screening room . SCOOBY 'S POV ... of the documentary being screened . ON VIDEO : EXT. . LIVINGSTON HOME BACKYARD -- DAY Marty talks to Toby poolside as he prepares a barbecue .
    MARTY
    I think Scooby's like a lot of kids. He just hit a... a speed bump. Now he's gon na find his way, his path is gon na be cleared, and I think he's gon na continue his education at a good college. And everybody else is gon na be happy.
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    But Mr Livingston, are n't you a bit fearful that Scooby will be confronted with hollow values and systemic conformism?
    Pause .
    MARTY
    I do n't know why this is so hard for you to comprehend. I had a terrific time in college. I've got a terrific job, a comfortable salary, terrific wife, three terrific kids... and every year I give to the alumni fund. Now why are you trying to make college out to be a bad thing, a negative experience? You were unhappy? Well, to bad! Get over it! Stop trying to impose your misery on others by going around saying, ` Life is bad, life is horrible.' Life is tough on you? Well, boo hoo!
    ANGLE ON THE AUDIENCE . laughing . ON VIDEO : EXT. . LIVINGSTON HOME - DAY Scooby talks to Toby in the Backyard , Marty seen in the distant background .
    SCOOBY
    Well, yeah, my Dad is kind of a goofball. I just have to pretend to go along with his ideas.'Cause he really does n't get it : like I could be the next Oprah, for all he knows, but he's never even seen the show.
    ANGLE ON SCOOBY . watching himself on screen ON VIDEO : NEW ANGLE ON SCOOBY . as he continues talking to Toby .
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    What is most important to you?
    SCOOBY
    I dunno. I'd like to be good at something. It does n't have to be TV. I mean, it could be movies. Anything. I'd be willing to direct.
    The audience laughs .
    SCOOBY
    But I'd like to be, you know. famous. Not necessarily a superstar, just famous. Be recognized. Get fan Mail. Things.
    ON VIDEO : TIGHTER ON SCOOBY . still talking to Toby .
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    Uh, Scooby, now I understand how you want to be a TV talk - show host and all, like Conan O'Brien, but did you know even he went to college?
    SCOOBY
    He did?
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    Yeah. He went to Harward.
    SCOOBY
    ( beat . )
    Oh.
    ANGLE ON SCOOBY . watching the film and listening to the audience . The laughter is out of control . He is devastated .

INT. LIVINGSTON HOME - NIGHT
    Marty and Fern are in bed watching the news . Mikey appears in the doorway .
    MIKEY
    Mom? Dad? Can I sleep with you? I'm scared.
    They flick off the TV .
    MARTY
    Sure!
    FERN
    Of course, honey. Come in bed with us. Come on.
    Mikey gets in bed with them .
    MARTY
    Snug as a bug in a rug. Yeah, here you go, pal. All righty. You're monster - proofed!

EXT. LIVINGSTONE HOME - NIGHT
    Consuelo approaches the house stealthily . ANGLE ON FINGERS . opening the back of the house ; stuffing towels under bedroom doors ; turning on the kitchen stove 's gas ; switching on the main gas valve in the boiler room .

EXT. LIVINGSTON HOME - NIGHT
    Consuelo flees . A very long pause . FADE TO BLACK .

EXT. STREET NEAR LIVINGSTON HOME - EARLY MORNING
    Scooby gets off the bus with a few cleaning women . He walks homewards .

EXT. LIVINGSTONE HOME -DAY
    Scooby sees reporters , policemen , firemen , ambulances , gas company vehicles , and neighbors surrounding his house . Toby and Mike suddenly appear with their camera trained on him . ON VIDEO
    TOBY
    ( O.S . )
    Oh, my God, Scooby! I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
    SCOOBY
    Do n't be. Your movie's a hit.
    -LSB- THE END -RSB-

Summary: The film consists of two stories that are unrelated and have different actors, titled "Fiction" and "Non-Fiction". College and high school serve as the backdrop for these two stories about dysfunction and personal turmoil. Fiction. Vi (Selma Blair) is a graduate student dating an undergrad, Marcus, who has cerebral palsy, though he observes that she no longer seems passionate about their relationship. They are in a creative writing class taught by a famed African-American author, Mr. Scott (Robert Wisdom). Marcus has written an amateurish story about the effect of Vi's love on his medical condition, and she encourages him to share it in the class's workshop. While other students give it tepid praise, Mr. Scott and his favorite student, Catherine, harshly dismiss it as mediocre trash. Upset, Marcus angrily blames Vi for not warning him against sharing the story, and breaks up with her, accusing her of being secretly attracted to Mr. Scott. A hurt and heartbroken Vi goes out to a bar and encounters Mr. Scott. She thanks him for being honest about Marcus's story, praises his writing, and asks if he thinks she will make a great writer; he tells her that he does not. After she flirts with him clumsily, they return to his residence, where she discovers photos of Catherine, naked and in various poses, which triggers an unwanted racist reaction in Vi. Though she becomes uncomfortable, she reluctantly has anal sex with Mr. Scott, an act which is censored by a large red square. During the act, he makes her call him an ethnic slur. Afterwards, Vi returns to Marcus in tears and reconciles with him. Later, back in the class workshop, Vi shares a fictionalized version of her encounter with Mr. Scott. The other students are appalled by the story's content, and Catherine calmly eviscerates the piece, claiming that "Vi" is an arrogant, narcissistic fetishist and racist. When Marcus and Vi defend the piece as being a real experience, an unimpressed Mr. Scott informs them that when she starts writing about an experience, it becomes fiction, and that the story is nevertheless an improvement over her other works because there "is now at least a beginning, a middle, and an end." Non-Fiction. Toby Oxman (Paul Giamatti) is a struggling would-be filmmaker attempting to make his first documentary. Though he originally intends to make a film about the experiences of teenagers post-Columbine on a wide scale, he is eventually forced to limit his scope to one dysfunctional, upper-middle-class suburban New Jersey family and their teenage son Scooby (Mark Webber). His father, the strict and unsympathetic Marty (John Goodman), is frustrated with Scooby's lazy attitude and unwillingness to attend college, while his football player brother Brady worries that Scooby is secretly gay and his obnoxious youngest brother Mikey is obliviously self-obsessed. Scooby's only vague ambition is to be famous, and have a talk show on television like his idol Conan O'Brien, who appears to him in a dream sequence as Scooby allows a lovestruck friend to perform oral sex on him. Scooby intentionally flunks his exams, but to his surprise, he finds that he has been accepted to Princeton University, which Marty privately reveals was because of a large donation from a family member. Meanwhile, Mikey torments the family's overworked, underpaid, and exhausted housekeeper, Consuelo, exercising his privileged and sheltered upbringing to badger her with questions that emphasize the discrepancy between their lifestyles. She reveals that she is still poor, has no time for any personal activities due to the constant demands from the family, and that her beloved grandson has been executed after being arrested for rape and murder. The self-centered Mikey only continues ordering her around. Later, Brady suffers a serious accident during football practice and falls into a deep coma. Mikey takes advantage of Marty's vulnerability over Brady's condition to perform hypnotism on him, during which he commands himself to be Marty's new favorite son and orders Marty fire Consuelo for petty reasons. Miraculously, the hypnosis works perfectly. Marty fires Consuelo despite her tearful pleading, much to Mikey's smug enjoyment. After the documentary is finished and Toby refuses to let him see the completed footage, Scooby secretly attends a late-night screening, where he witnesses the audience laughing uproariously at his dim-witted portrayal. Realizing that he will never be famous, Scooby is left devastated. While he is away, a vengeful Consuelo sneaks back into the house and murders the rest of the Livingstons by poisoning the house with carbon monoxide. Scooby returns home the next morning to find emergency services wheeling his deceased family into an ambulance. Toby, back with a camera crew, runs up to Scooby to tearfully apologize for what's transpired, but an emotionless and jaded Scooby coldly tells him to not be sorry, because "the movie's a hit." Autobiography. The original version of the film featured a third story entitled "Autobiography", concerning, among other things, a closeted football player (James Van Der Beek). The main character has an explicit sex scene with a male partner (Steven Rosen); the entire story was cut from the final version.