CHERRIES
    by
    Jim & Brian Kehoe DMG Entertainment 310.275.3750 FADE IN

EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD, LONG ISLAND, NY - DAY
    An upscale neighborhood. Perfectly manicured lawns. Early summer, flowers in full bloom.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY
    PETE HARRINGTON (40, friendly and responsible) ties balloons to his front porch. A kind-looking MAILMAN approaches.
    MAILMAN
    Afternoon, Pete! What's the occasion?
    PETE
    My daughter is going to prom tonight, so I'm hosting a little pre-party for the kids and their parents.
    MAILMAN
    No way! Little Julie? Geez, seems like only yesterday I was delivering Highlights Magazine. They grow up so fast.
    PETE
    Tell me about it.
    MAILMAN
    (getting nostalgic)
    Prom. What a wondrous night...
    Pete nods.
    MAILMAN
    First time I got my dick wet.
    PETE
    (uncomfortable)
    You don't say.
    MAILMAN
    Carla Minnifield. She was smokin'. YUUUUGE tits.
    He motorboats two PARTY BALLOONS, then pantomimes hitting a SPEED BAG and smiles at Pete.
    PETE
    Wow.
    The Mailman nods and strokes Pete's rolled-up mail. Pete steps inside his front door.
    MAILMAN
    (peeking inside)
    Send Julie out for a sec so I can get a peek at her in her little dress.
    PETE
    Not gonna happen.
    Pete slowly begins to close the door in his face.
    MAILMAN
    Don't forget your-
    Pete grabs the mail and shuts the door.

INT. PETE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
    Pete searches the mail and smiles when he sees a brochure that reads "Camp on Lake George!" He rushes upstairs.

INT. JULIE'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
    JULIE (16, All-American, adorable) does her hair as Pete walks in and dances around to her music.
    PETE
    Ahh, yeah, is this my boy Skrillex? His new album just dropped, right?
    JULIE
    Yeah, I downloaded it to your iPod last night.
    Julie smiles and tosses the iPod to him. Pete kisses her forehead.
    PETE
    Hey, check it out. They renovated the cabins on Lake George! We should nail down dates ASAP. We won't have to bring the shovel this year... Indoor plumbing!
    JULIE
    I'm not sure I'll be able to go camping this summer.
    Pete stops dancing.
    PETE
    Of course you're going. We go every year. It's our thing.
    JULIE
    I don't have a lot of summers left with my friends.
    PETE
    Are they dying?
    JULIE
    Austin's going to college in September. And I'll be going to college soon, too.
    PETE
    You're only a sophomore.
    JULIE
    I'm gonna be a junior.
    PETE
    It's only a few days...
    JULIE
    It's a whole week. But can we talk about it later? I really need to get ready.
    PETE
    (hurt)
    Yeah... of course.
    Pete looks at her RED PROM DRESS on the bed.
    PETE
    I wish your mom was here to see this. She looked beautiful in red, too.
    Julie smiles.
    PETE
    I'll just leave this here for you to check out... Just in case.
    He puts the BROCHURE on the bed and walks out.

INT. MITCHELL'S CAR - EARLY EVENING
    MITCHELL FORDE (40, pessimistic, kind of a pussy) drives with his wife MARCIE and their daughter KAYLA (15, self-centered) who is dressed in a very revealing prom dress.
    KAYLA
    You know, you guys really don't have to come. Most of the parents won't even be there.
    MITCHELL
    We wouldn't miss your prom party for the world, sweetie. And we've already got the sitter.
    KAYLA
    But it's gonna be super lame. You should go do something fun instead.
    MITCHELL
    It's fun for us to spend time with you.
    Hint not taken, Kayla sits back and chews her lip.
    KAYLA
    Whatevs.
    MITCHELL
    So who's this Dex boy you're going with tonight?
    KAYLA
    He's just a guy from school.
    MITCHELL
    Anything we should know about him for when you introduce us?
    KAYLA
    I'm NOT introducing you.
    MITCHELL
    But-
    KAYLA
    He's a senior. Please don't do this to me! Mom?!
    MARCIE
    Stop antagonizing her, Mitchell.
    He shrugs, what was I doing?
    KAYLA
    Pull over here. Right here!
    MITCHELL
    What? Why? The Harrington's house is at the end of the block.
    KAYLA
    I think I know where my best friend lives.
    Mitchell pulls over and they all hop out of the car. Kayla notices some KIDS in front of the house.
    KAYLA
    Mom, you guys are gonna wait a few minutes before you come in, like we talked about, right?
    MARCIE
    Yes, honey.
    Mitchell looks confused. Marcie shoots him a look.
    MITCHELL
    Okay, Peanut. We'll give you a five minute head start.
    Kayla notices that her dad is wearing CAPRI PANTS.
    KAYLA
    Make it ten.

INT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - EARLY EVENING
    SAM (15, artsy and pretty, but self-conscious) waits in the living room with her mother, Hunter's attractive EX-WIFE.
    SAM
    Dad, c'mon!
    (to her mother)
    I can't believe he's still in the shower.
    HUNTER (O.S.)
    Being on time is for losers, Sam. You know that!
    Sam sighs, turns to her mother.
    SAM
    Do I look okay?
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    Are you kidding? You look beautiful, sweetheart!
    Sam nervously fidgets with her prom dress, then shakes her head in frustration and looks down a hallway, impatiently.
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    Hunter, are you coming?
    HUNTER (O.S.)
    Almost, give me one minute!
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    Hurry up!
    HUNTER (O.S.)
    Please stop talking!
    Sam paces, upset.
    SAM
    I wanted to get there before Kayla. And she's probably already there!
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    Why? Is something going on with you and Kayla?
    Sam shakes her head, upset; she clearly doesn't want to talk about it. Annoyed, Hunter's Ex-Wife heads for his bedroom.

INT. HUNTER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
    She knocks and HUNTER PHELPS (40, a likeable wise-ass) opens the door a crack. He's in a towel, his hair still wet.
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    What the hell, Hunter? Sam's gonna be late and you take the longest shower ever?
    HUNTER
    Sorry, but I was really dirty.
    A NAKED HOT GIRL walks past the door and spots Hunter's Ex- Wife. She waves to Hunter's Ex-Wife, embarrassed. Caught, Hunter smiles and shrugs.
    HUNTER
    She was filthy, too, god bless her.
    Hunter's Ex-Wife shakes her head, disgusted.

INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM - LATER
    CLOSE ON a pair of giant distorted EYES searching with binoculars. The binoculars dip, revealing ELI (15, nerdy). He scans the yard from the safety of his bedroom and locks in on his target: Julie -- as she talks with Kayla in a gazebo.
    ELI
    Hello, my love. Yes, the sun is rather strong. Of course I'll rub suntan oil on your back. I happen to have some right here.
    PLLLFFFF. Lotion squirts from a bottle.
    ELI
    How does that feel? Is it too rough? Oh, it's just right, my darling? Mmmm.
    WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Eli! There's no toilet paper in here!
    Eli shakes off the distraction, continues with his business.
    ELI
    (sotto)
    Stay in the zone.
    ELI'S MOM
    Eli!?
    ELI
    Not now, Mom!
    (back to Julie)
    Now, where were we, my love?
    WOMAN'S VOICE
    Hurry up! It was NOT a clean break!
    The moment ruined, Eli angrily rubs the lotion in his hand into his elbows.
    ELI
    Okay!

EXT. PETE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
    Hunter, his Ex-Wife and Sam walk up the path to the house.
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    Do you have anything you want to say, Hunter?
    HUNTER
    Like what?
    His Ex-Wife motions toward Sam. Hunter looks confused.
    HUNTER'S EX-WIFE
    How does she look?
    HUNTER
    Oh.
    (to Sam)
    We both look great, honey. Let's do this shit.
    Sam shakes her head. His Ex-Wife shoots him a look, but he pays no attention.

EXT. PETE'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
    Julie talks with Kayla by the gazebo.
    KAYLA
    I wish Tina was coming with us instead of Sam.
    JULIE
    I wish we were all going together, but you know Tina couldn't come.
    KAYLA
    I know. And I'm not saying I hate Sam, just that I don't want her in our limo because she's super lame... I guess I do hate her a little bit.
    JULIE
    We've been talking about going to prom together since we were in third grade. So don't be a dick.
    KAYLA
    Fine. But I swear to god, if she says one more word about Katniss-
    SAM (O.S.)
    Hey guys.
    Julie and Kayla turn to see Sam.
    JULIE
    Oh, hey!
    KAYLA
    I need a refill.
    Kayla walks away as Julie and Sam hug each other hello.

EXT. PETE'S BACKYARD - EARLY EVENING
    PROM-GOERS and PARENTS enjoy the food and drinks at the catered party. Mitchell talks to Pete as he samples the hors d'oeuvres.
    MITCHELL
    Delicious.
    Pete nods. Across the yard, Mitchell sees some kids looking in his direction and laughing. Are they laughing at his pants?
    MITCHELL
    (suddenly insecure)
    I was filling out an application at Macy's when the salesgirl talked me into these pants. She said this is the style these days.
    PETE
    Is that right?
    MITCHELL
    I thought Kayla might like them, but I can't get a read. Thoughts?
    PETE
    They're... seasonally appropriate.
    MITCHELL
    Would you wear them?
    PETE
    If I had your calf development, maybe. I don't, though. So, no, I wouldn't consider wearing them.
    MITCHELL
    (glances at his calves)
    I do take stairs when I can.
    MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Dude, you can't afford pants that go all the way down?
    Mitchell shakes his head. He doesn't need to look; he knows it's Hunter. Hunter hugs Pete, then Mitchell.
    HUNTER
    You guys catch that Mets game? Just caught the end on the radio on the ride over. Craziness.
    PETE
    I recorded it, so don't-
    HUNTER
    They won 4-3 in ten.
    PETE
    Ass.
    HUNTER
    I just saved you three hours.
    Just then, an attractive SINGLE MOM walks by.
    HUNTER
    What do we have here?
    Single Mom smiles suggestively at Pete, who quickly looks away.
    RANDOM PARENT (O.S.)
    Smile!
    Pete, Mitchell and Hunter turn to the camera and smile.
    HUNTER
    (through smiling teeth)
    You should be tearing that ass apart, Pete.
    PETE
    (through smiling teeth)
    No one's ass is getting torn.
    The camera CLICKS, the Random Parent walks away and the guys get back to checking out Single Mom, who is bent over, fixing the hemline on her daughter's prom dress.
    HUNTER
    Dude, what the hell? It's been eight years!
    PETE
    I know that. I've been a little busy raising my daughter.
    HUNTER
    Well, there's no rule that says you can't slap a milf in the face with your dick and still be a good dad.
    Mitchell nods in apparent agreement. It's a Hallmark moment.

INT. JULIE'S ROOM - EVENING
    ON SAM AND KAYLA, who both look confused. Julie holds an unraveled CONDOM. The girls move in for a closer inspection. Kayla catches a whiff.
    KAYLA
    Ew! Do they come in any other smells?
    SAM
    Wait! Does this mean...
    JULIE
    (shrugs)
    Austin's been very patient. So-
    KAYLA
    (excited; laughing)
    You whorebag!
    SAM
    So, you're gonna do it with him? Like... all of it?
    Kayla rolls her eyes. Sam notices, embarrassed.
    JULIE
    He's going to college soon. I want to be his first and I want him to be mine.
    KAYLA
    Does he know?
    JULIE
    (nodding)
    He didn't need much convincing.
    KAYLA
    I'm proud of you, skank.
    Sam sees how impressed Kayla is with Julie and jumps in:
    SAM
    I'll probably do it, too. With Chad.
    Incredulous, Julie and Kayla turn to Sam.
    JULIE
    Huh? You barely know him.
    KAYLA
    He only asked you because he's Austin's friend and he didn't have a date.
    SAM
    So what? It's prom. Why not have the sex?
    KAYLA
    I call bullshit.
    SAM
    What's bullshit? I'm definitely getting some sausage tonight.
    KAYLA
    Sausage?
    SAM
    (uncomfortable)
    Weiner. Dong. Whatever.
    JULIE
    Sam, you don't have to-
    SAM
    I'm tired of doing boring shit. I'm ready for some cock action tonight.
    KAYLA
    You're serious?
    SAM
    As first period gym.
    Kayla raises a brow, is she for real?
    KAYLA
    Then count me in.
    SAM
    So we're all doing it tonight.
    KAYLA
    Looks like it.
    SAM
    Awesome.
    KAYLA
    Amazing.
    Both girls nod. Julie watches the back and forth.
    SAM
    (challenging)
    Maybe we should put it in writing.
    KAYLA
    (eyes narrowing; not backing down)
    I'd like that.

EXT. PETE'S YARD - LATER
    Pete, Hunter and Mitchell talk in the yard.
    PETE
    I'm excited for the kids.
    Julie, Sam and Kayla hang out with AUSTIN (Julie's boyfriend, well-mannered) and CHAD (Sam's date, lanky with Beiber hair). Austin and Chad have CARROT STICKS up their noses and they're barking like walruses. The girls laugh.
    MITCHELL
    They're gonna have so much fun.
    HUNTER
    (checks his watch; disinterested)
    Yeah, should be a blast. When are they leaving?
    PETE
    Chad seems like a nice kid, huh, Hunter?
    HUNTER
    Not a clue.
    MITCHELL
    Has Sam been dating him long?
    HUNTER
    What, am I in the PTA?
    PETE
    I thought you might know, since Chad's mom is Debbie Doyle.
    HUNTER
    Debbie Doyle from high school? Top- of-the-pyramid Debbie Doyle?
    Pete nods.
    HUNTER
    I always wanted to nail Debbie Doyle. But she was a tough crack to nut.
    PETE
    She'll probably make an appearance here.
    HUNTER
    Sweet!
    MITCHELL
    (to Pete)
    Which one is Kayla's date?
    PETE
    That one. Dex.
    Pete points to the other side of the yard where DEX (18 but looks 25, enormous) smokes a cigarette. Dex leans out over the deck and checks out the women at the party like a vulture. He rubs his patchy mustache. Mitchell's face falls.
    MITCHELL
    I do not like the looks of this Dex person.
    HUNTER
    He looks like the type who owns exotic pets.
    PETE
    Don't listen to him, Mitchell.
    (beat)
    Seriously, though, I'd get Kayla started on a Z pack first thing in the morning.
    Mitchell looks really nervous.
    MITCHELL
    I'm going to set him straight before they leave, just in case.
    PETE
    Please let us know when you're gonna do that.
    HUNTER
    Yeah, we do not wanna miss that.
    Pete notices something, excuses himself and walks away. ACROSS THE YARD...

.. Eli has tried to climb into the yard, but is stuck on top of the fence, his shirt caught on one of the posts. His legs dangle helplessly. Pete walks over.
    PETE
    Is that you, Eli?
    ELI
    Oh hey, Mr. Harrington, did we luck out with this weather or what?
    PETE
    Sure did. Let me give you a hand.
    Pete helps Eli over the fence. Eli is wearing a shirt and tie.
    PETE
    (re: his clothes)
    Looking sharp.
    ELI
    Naturally.
    Pete nods.
    ELI
    Hope you don't mind my dropping by.
    PETE
    You know you're always welcome here.
    ELI
    Thanks. I'm just gonna let Julie know I picked up Serenity on BluRay. Criterion Collection.
    ELI
    Just in case she's over this prom business.
    Eli shoots an air gun at him and walks away.

EXT. PETE'S BACKYARD - LATER
    Mitchell approaches and stands face-to-neck with Dex.
    MITCHELL
    So... Dex, right?
    DEX
    I prefer Silver Back. It's my D.J. name.
    MITCHELL
    I'm Mr. Forde. You're taking my daughter to prom. So I guess you know each other from school?
    DEX
    Oh, yeah. I seen her in the hall a few times. Nice situation. Front and back.
    MITCHELL
    (ignores the comment)
    Oh, you don't know each other well. So I assume you asked her to the prom as friends, right?
    DEX
    Katie asked me. Austin and Julie hooked it up.
    MITCHELL
    Katie? You mean Kayla?
    DEX
    I guess.
    Mitchell bites his lip. Kayla spots her dad talking to her date. This is an emergency!
    KAYLA
    Pictures! Everyone outside!
    Kayla quickly grabs Dex and pulls him away. ON PETE AND HUNTER...

.. who watch Mitchell walk back toward them. Mitchell breaks into a strut and smile. The guys look at him expectantly.
    MITCHELL
    Smell that? Poor kid practically shit himself.
    The guys nod, uh huh.

EXT. FRONT YARD - LATER
    The couples are lined up in front of the LIMOS as PARENTS take pictures and shout for the kids to "look over here" and "smile!" The couples all attempt to look sexy. As Pete takes a few pictures, he notices only one smile coming from the group. The smile belongs to Eli, who has taken a knee in front of Julie.
    ELI
    (quietly; to Julie)
    I know you don't "love" sci-fi, but Whedon is a master of crossing genre boundaries.
    JULIE
    (complaining about Eli)
    Dad!
    PETE
    (waving him away)
    Eli.
    Eli reluctantly steps out of the picture, then slips unnoticed into Pete's house. Hunter chats with DEBBIE DOYLE, Chad's pretty mom.
    HUNTER
    Can you believe my little girl is going to the prom with your son?!
    DEBBIE
    I know. Sam is so cute. You did a great job with her.
    HUNTER
    Yes, I did. Chad seems great, too. Is your husband here?
    DEBBIE
    No. We're divorced, so...
    HUNTER
    Excellent. I mean, that's too bad.
    She smiles, picking up on his flirtation.
    HUNTER
    Ahh, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie... Hey, can you still do a split?
    DEBBIE
    Yup.
    HUNTER
    We should schedule a play date.
    DEBBIE
    The kids are a bit old for that.
    HUNTER
    Who's talking about the kids?
    Debbie smiles. ON MITCHELL...

.. as his wife nudges him to the front of the crowd to take a photo. Mitchell maneuvers for a shot of Kayla.
    MITCHELL
    Look here! Kayla! Kayla, over here!
    Kayla is embarrassed. She looks in every direction but Mitchell's.
    MITCHELL
    Kayla! Kayla! Peanut!
    Kayla turns bright red.
    MITCHELL
    D.J. Silver Back!
    Dex immediately turns and looks at Mitchell. Noticing, Kayla turns, too. They flash their sexiest pose.
    MITCHELL
    Great! Beautiful!
    Mitchell checks the camera.
    MITCHELL
    (to no one in particular)
    No card. I have no SD card!
    KAYLA
    (to Dex)
    I'm adopted.
    The other parents look at Mitchell, as he has a mini- meltdown. Then he has an idea and pulls out his ancient flip phone.
    MITCHELL
    Don't worry, sweetheart, I'll use the Razr!
    ANGLE ON...

.. the sleazy-looking limo driver, SETH, who ambles over to Pete and leans against the limo.
    SETH
    Kids, huh?
    PETE
    Uh, yeah.
    SETH
    How much do you love them, right?
    PETE
    Yeah. A lot.
    Pete nods, uncomfortable. After an awkward pause, Seth gets a bit annoyed. He cuts to the chase.
    SETH
    So do you want to tip at the end of the night or... ?
    PETE
    It was my understanding that the tip was included in the price.
    SETH
    Yeah, still supposed to tip me personally.
    PETE
    Oh, I didn't know. Sorry.
    Pete digs into his pocket.
    SETH
    Don't beat yourself up.
    Pete hands him some cash. Seth is truly offended.
    SETH
    Whoa, a little discretion, chief.
    Pete has no idea what to do. A moment passes.
    SETH
    Would you like to shake hands with a limo driver?
    PETE
    Uh, sure.
    They shake hands and Pete awkwardly transfers the cash. Seth nods his thanks and walks away. He walks past Hunter, who claps as Debbie does a split in the front yard. ON MITCHELL...

..who flips through a collection of dark, blurry Razr photos. He notices Seth at his side.
    SETH
    Kids, huh?

EXT. PETE'S HOUSE - LATER
    Julie gives her dad a kiss on the cheek.
    PETE
    Have fun, honey.
    JULIE
    I will, dad.
    Austin, demonstrating his good manners, opens the door for Julie, who climbs in. Pete looks at Austin.
    PETE
    Seatbelts.
    AUSTIN
    Don't worry, Mr. Harrington.
    The other kids climb into the limo. The guys watch Dex slap Kayla's ass as she climbs in. The limo takes off.
    MITCHELL
    Who's up for some binge drinking?

INT. LIMO - LATER
    The kids are having fun in the back seat. Sam suddenly leans over and kisses a surprised Chad. Kayla, in response, snuggles up to Dex, who dives in for a raunchy tongue-flailing makeout. Kayla engages for a few seconds then pulls away and laughs nervously. Austin looks at Julie, what's going on here? Julie shrugs. In the front seat, Seth is out of his tuxedo and is now sporting stained cargo shorts and a Garbage Pail Kids t- shirt. He zips down the partition.
    SETH
    Hey, my name is Seth. Shit's gonna get epic up in here now that the 'rents are in the rearview!
    The kids look at each other.
    KAYLA
    (disgusted)
    Put the partition back up... Seth.
    SETH
    That's cool!
    The kids laugh as the partition slides back up, then immediately slides back down.
    SETH
    Before I vamanos, though, let me just say that I see some long faces back there.
    The kids look at each other again, what the fuck is with this guy?
    SETH
    I got just the thing to turn those frowns upside down. Who's down for a little...
    (waves a baggie)
    Crystal? Made it myself. I'm no Heisenberg, but it's good shit. Who's down?
    SAM
    I'd do a bag.
    Julie and Kayla are shocked.
    SAM
    (to Julie and Kayla)
    What? I'm up for anything tonight.
    (quickly; to Seth)
    But no one else wants any, so no thanks. I can't eat a whole bag by myself.
    SETH
    I get it. No tweakers on board. How about we make it snow up in this bitch?!
    He waves another baggie filled with coke.
    DEX
    We could use some beers later.
    CHAD
    And some energy drinks!
    Dex shoots him a look.
    CHAD
    But mostly beer.
    SETH
    Beer? Seriously?
    (deflated)
    Yeah, I can do that.

INT. JULIE'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
    Eli pokes around. He opens the medicine cabinet. He applies Julie's deodorant. Heaven. He picks up Julie's toothbrush and licks it.

EXT. PETE'S BACKYARD - NIGHT
    Pete and Hunter sit around a FIRE PIT drinking beer. Hunter and Mitchell have tequila shots.
    PETE
    We should all be proud of ourselves. We've raised three pretty great girls.
    The guys raise a glass and drink.
    PETE
    Isn't it crazy? In a few years, they'll be off to college.
    HUNTER
    Nuts.
    Hunter throws back a shot.
    MITCHELL
    I'm sure going to miss Kayla around the house. The nice talks and the hugs. I'll miss the hugs the most.
    Mitchell then downs an entire beer in a few seconds.
    MITCHELL
    Sorry, guys. What I just said there, that was bullshit. There are no hugs. I actually think Kayla's embarrassed of me.
    PETE
    (lying)
    I doubt that.
    HUNTER
    Seriously? It's pretty fucking obvious.
    Pete shoots him a look.
    MITCHELL
    She hasn't called me "dad" in a year. She's just calls me "hey." As in, "hey, is that what you're wearing?" and "hey, ever heard of a courtesy flush?"
    Mitchell sighs, then throws back a shot.
    MITCHELL
    It's because I lost my job.
    HUNTER
    Are you getting any interviews?
    MITCHELL
    No. And my resume is all over Monster. What else can I do?
    Pete shrugs.
    MITCHELL
    Maybe I am an embarrassment.
    HUNTER
    Hey, that's bullshit, man.
    PETE
    Yeah, look at you.
    PETE
    You've got... a lot of... good stuff going on.
    MITCHELL
    Like...?
    PETE
    You're a great friend!
    Mitchell shrugs, that's not doing it for him. Pete and Hunter think hard...
    HUNTER
    Look at those calves!
    PETE
    Yeah, I mentioned those earlier.
    The guys try, but can't think of much else until...
    HUNTER
    You're awesome at sound effects! That honking horn sound? You could be the next Michael Winslow!
    Mitchell makes a bicycle honking noise with his mouth.
    HUNTER
    That's the one! So good.
    The guys muster a laugh. Mitchell cheers up.
    MITCHELL
    I am pretty good at that.
    The guys nod.
    MITCHELL
    You dudes wanna hear some of the new ones I've been working on?
    PETE
    Maybe later.
    HUNTER
    No.
    Mitchell smiles and nods.
    MITCHELL
    I'll get a few more logs for the fire.
    MITCHELL
    (seizing the opportunity)
    Put another shrimp on the barbie!
    PETE
    Maybe stick with the sound effects. Accents aren't in your wheelhouse.
    Mitchell nods. He makes the honking sound as he walks away.
    HUNTER
    (quietly; to Pete)
    Why do we hang out with him?
    Pete smiles. Mitchell returns with a couple of logs.
    PETE
    You know, you're not the only one with daughter problems, Mitchell. Julie's bailing on our annual camping trip.
    HUNTER
    That shit is normal, guys. Kids pull away from their parents. And you know those three girls. They're attached at the hip. With the soccer and karate and whatever else.
    Pete and Mitchell share a confused look.
    HUNTER
    Sam and I have an unspoken understanding. We give each other space and we'll reconnect sometime during her mid to late-twenties.

INT. JULIE'S ROOM - NIGHT
    Eli opens Julie's underwear drawer and his jaw drops as if he's found the Lost Arc of the Covenant. He spots a bottle of HAND LOTION on top of the dresser.
    ELI
    You've been out in the sun for a long time, Julie. Time to reapply.
    SPLOOSH, SPLOOSH. He pumps some lotion into one hand and picks up a pair of panties with the other. He notices the CAMPING BROCHURE in the drawer. He eyes it curiously.

EXT. PETE'S BACKYARD - NIGHT
    Mitchell is drunk and in a much better mood, playing drums on the table with a couple of serving spoons.
    HUNTER
    Alright, this was a solid pre-game. Let's hit Taste of Honey.
    Pete shakes his head.
    HUNTER
    Fucking pussies. Afraid of a strip club.
    PETE
    We're not pussies. We're parents.
    HUNTER
    C'mon, dude, when's the last time you had an entire night without Julie? Let's pillage!
    Suddenly, SMOKE pours out from the garage door.
    MITCHELL
    Uh, Pete!
    Pete frantically runs over and hits the garage door opener. Smoke billows out!

INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
    The garage is filled with smoke. The guys start coughing. When the smoke clears, they find Eli sitting in Pete's beat up 2004 VOLVO STATION WAGON.
    ELI
    Oh, hey, Mr. Harrington, gentlemen.

INT. PETE'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
    Pete and Mitchell carry Eli, who looks fine, but distraught, into the house. Hunter slaps him across the face.
    ELI
    What the hell?! I'm awake!
    HUNTER
    I know.
    PETE
    Why are you trying to off yourself in my garage?
    Without a word, Eli hands Pete the CAMPING BROCHURE.
    HUNTER
    This kid really hates camping.
    ELI
    Turn it over.
    PETE
    (reading)
    We, Kayla, Julie and Sam, who have known each other our whole lives, wish to this night one that we will never forget...
    MITCHELL
    That's sweet-
    ELI
    -Keep reading.
    PETE
    ...and hereby swear that tonight, on the occasion of our first ever prom, we will all have...
    (strains to read)
    I can't make out this word.
    ELI
    Sorry. It's smudged from my tears. Sex. The word is sex. We all agree to have sex for the first time with our prom dates.
    MITCHELL
    What? WHAT??
    PETE
    No, that... can't be right. What is this?!
    Hunter grabs it.
    HUNTER
    It's some sort of contract.
    ELI
    It's a fuck pact!
    The guys look around at each other, completely STUNNED.
    MITCHELL
    Is that... binding?
    HARD CUT TO:

INT. PETE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    Pete drives the crappy Volvo wagon while on his cell. Mitchell rides shotgun; Hunter and Eli are in the back. The tension is palpable.
    PETE
    Straight to voicemail again.
    (frustrated)
    I'm sure this is some kind of mistake. I would have known about this.
    MITCHELL
    I knew I shouldn't have gotten her that HPV vaccine!
    HUNTER
    If this kid has sex with Sam, I can forget about getting with Debbie. And after all these years, that would be tragic.
    PETE
    We're almost there. Let's talk strategy.
    MITCHELL
    Get in, spread out. Grab the kids off the dance floor, forbid them from having intercourse.
    ELI
    No! No! No! Check the dance floor last. Handicapped bathroom stalls first. Regular people stalls second.
    MITCHELL
    Bathrooms? It's their first time for chrissake!
    (to Pete, re: Eli )
    Why the hell did you bring him?
    HUNTER
    Seriously. Pull over. Let's dump his ass at the Arby's.
    PETE
    He's a good kid.
    (softly; to Mitchell)
    And I have rope and cutlery in my garage.
    ELI
    I'm just saying there probably won't be any sex happening on the dance floor. But bathrooms are in play. Last week, my cousin Freddie sixty-nined with a lady in a port-o- potty behind Subway!
    HUNTER
    That couldn't have been pretty. Meatball is the five dollar footlong this month.
    Pete reacts by giving it a bit more gas.
    ELI
    The point is that teenagers will have sex anywhere they can.
    Eli notices Pete look at him in the rearview.
    ELI
    Not me, though. Not with Julie. Our first time will be magical. I have it all planned. No jackhammering.
    PETE
    Stop talking, Eli.
    HUNTER
    The loser may have a point. My first time was with Dawn Sadler in a sewer drain next to a rotting raccoon carcass.
    Mitchell shakes his head in disgust.
    ELI
    See?
    HUNTER
    (bragging)
    We did it four times.
    Eli nods, impressed. Pete hits the gas even harder. The wagon shakes as it hauls ass down residential streets.

INT. GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT
    The tastefully decorated room is packed with horny PROM- GOERS. It's a beautiful evening. Julie and Austin dance together and have a great time.
    JULIE
    It's going to be a special night.
    Austin nods and kisses her romantically. Sam sees Kayla looking over and responds by grinding on Chad, who's surprised.
    SAM
    So do you think you're more of a Gale or a Peeta to my Katniss?
    CHAD
    I have no idea what you're saying right now.
    Sam keeps grinding, but with a little less interest. Kayla tries to mimic Sam's moves. Dex is into it, but is distracted by the 50 YEAR OLD D.J., who looks terminally bored.
    DEX
    I wish I had my tables. I would totally battle D.J. Fossil right now. I'm not feeling this guy's beats at all.
    Kayla grinds hard. Dex takes notice.
    DEX
    You are so slammin...
    Kayla raises a brow. Dex looks at his palm and sees smudged ink on it.
    DEX
    ...Something with a "K."
    KAYLA
    Kayla.
    DEX
    Riiiiight.
    KAYLA
    We don't have to talk so much.
    Kayla smiles. Dex nods, appreciatively.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT
    The guys continue driving to the prom. Pete takes a hard turn. Eli slides across the back seat into Hunter. Eli shuffles back to his spot. He looks at Hunter for a moment.
    ELI
    Hey, can you see any reason you can see why Julie won't give me the time of day?
    HUNTER
    Where should I start?
    ELI
    I mean, I know I'm not very macho. I'd ask my dad, but he left a while back.
    Hunter feels bad. He wasn't expecting that response.
    HUNTER
    Maybe I could... give you some tips.
    ELI
    You'd do that?
    HUNTER
    Why not? You kinda remind me of the dorks I used to beat up in school.
    ELI
    Cool. I'm a romantic, so I'm good there. But if it wasn't for porn, I'd know nothing about sex.
    HUNTER
    Here's something: don't try to kill yourself in a girl's house. For most of them, complete turnoff.
    Eli nods.
    HUNTER
    Maybe you just need to relax a bit. Be a kid, cut loose. Do something unexpected. Chicks like bad boys.
    ELI
    Bad boys, huh?
    Hunter nods. Eli loosens his tie, undoes his top button and turns to Hunter.
    HUNTER
    Well, baby steps.

EXT. COUNTRY CLUB - NIGHT
    An elegant facility lit with stunning landscape lighting. Pete's car flies like a bucking bronco over a speed bump! The car SCREECHES to a halt and the guys hurry to the door. LOUD HIP-HOP MUSIC PUMPS from inside.
    ELI
    Sounds like it's popping off!

INT. GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT
    The ballroom is ALMOST EMPTY - a handful of LESS ATTRACTIVE PROM-GOERS and a pair of HANDSY CHAPERONES remain. The Chaperones make out while kids watch. Some STRAGGLER KIDS dance; others including a BOY WITH HORRIBLE ACNE and a KID IN A WHEELCHAIR sit alone at tables, no doubt debating the merits of suicide. The guys meet at the front doors.
    PETE
    Anything?
    MITCHELL
    No, all the bathrooms are empty.
    ELI
    Shit!
    HUNTER
    Wow. Is this the prom for some kind of special school?
    ELI
    No, we're in the right place. The cool kids are gone. The only people left are the drama fags and the regular fags.
    MITCHELL
    (heartfelt)
    Poor bastards... where to next?
    PETE
    Austin's house.
    ELI
    5721 Haverford Drive.
    PETE
    That's where the kids were going after the prom.
    HUNTER
    Let's go now. This shit might be contagious.
    Pete, feeling bad for the Kids, calls out:
    PETE
    It gets better!!
    The Boy With Horrible Acne gives Pete a thumbs up.

EXT. 7-11 - NIGHT
    Seth talks with Austin, Dex and Chad outside the limo.
    SETH
    Hundred bucks should do it.
    DEX
    (getting in Seth's face)
    For a case of Bud?! I'll rip your head off-
    Austin puts out a hand, calming Dex.
    AUSTIN
    (pleading with Seth)
    We're in high school. We don't have that kind of cash. Come on, Seth.
    SETH
    Don't "come on" me.
    The guys laugh. Seth is embarrassed, but brushes it off.
    SETH
    Look, I've got two strikes. I could get life for making this purchase. So if you want those Buds, daddy's gonna need a hundy.
    Dex looks like he wants to strangle Seth.
    SETH
    Do you wanna keep this party rolling or not? Because if not, maybe I should be dropping these fine young ladies off at home.
    Austin, Dex and Chad share a look, then reach into their wallets.

INT. CAR - LATER
    The guys fly down a residential street.
    MITCHELL
    It's a left here, Pete.
    (as they pass the turn)
    Left!
    PETE
    Meadow Lane is faster.
    MITCHELL
    No, it's slower with all of the stop signs. You just cost us five minutes.
    ELI
    Do you have any idea how many times a teenage boy can ejaculate in five minutes?!
    Pete blows a stop sign and a SIREN wails!
    HUNTER
    Nice work, Pete.
    MITCHELL
    I knew we shouldn't have gone this way! Did I call it? Did I?
    ELI
    You called it.
    MITCHELL
    Totally called it!
    Pete pulls over.
    MITCHELL
    We're drunk. And we are totally screwed.
    PETE
    I'm not drunk. I had a couple of beers.
    HUNTER
    Tell them you've had nothing. Zero beers. Deny, deny, deny.
    PETE
    I'm not gonna lie. I'm fine.
    ELI
    I have some gum, Mr. H.
    MITCHELL
    I do, too.
    PETE
    I don't need it.
    HUNTER
    Act casually and breathe through your noses.
    Mitchell grabs his and Eli's gum and shoves it in Pete's mouth. A young Hispanic cop, OFFICER HERNANDEZ, shines his flashlight into the car and leans in.
    HERNANDEZ
    Good evening, gentlemen.
    Pete works hard to chew a GIANT WAD OF GUM.
    PETE
    (mouth full)
    Officer.
    The guys all nod hello. Pete hands him his license and registration. Hernandez looks at the documents, then into the car and sees Mitchell and Eli conspicuously tight-lipped.
    HERNANDEZ
    Have you gentlemen been drinking tonight?
    PETE
    (mouth still full)
    I had a couple beers earlier. But as you can see, I'm perfectly fine now. So if you don't mind, just write me a ticket and we'll be on our way. We're in a hurry.
    HERNANDEZ
    Oh, is that right?
    Pete nods and continues chewing. Hernandez looks at his fat veteran partner, OFFICER DONOHUE, who shakes his head in disgust. Hernandez gives Pete a hard look.
    HERNANDEZ
    Who's the kid?
    PETE
    Just a friend.
    ELI
    It's okay, officer. This isn't a Sandusky situation.
    That did not allay Hernandez's concerns.
    HERNANDEZ
    Sir, I'm going to ask you to step out of the car.
    PETE
    Why?
    Hernandez stares at Pete for a moment and puts his hand on his holster.
    HERNANDEZ
    Because I fucking said so.
    Hernandez looks at Donohue, who gives him a thumbs up. Pete looks at the guys, worried. He spits out the gum and gets out of the car.

EXT. ROADSIDE - MOMENTS LATER
    Hunter, Mitchell and Eli are all looking out the window of the car as Pete is being given a Breathalyzer test.
    HERNANDEZ
    Blow, blow, blow, keep blowing!
    Hernandez looks at the test. Pete blows a .06, below the legal limit. Donohue, who has a snarling GERMAN SHEPHERD at his side, looks disappointed.
    PETE
    (to the guys)
    Point oh six!
    The guys celebrate in the car - high fives all around. The Cops don't look pleased.
    PETE
    Alright, thank you officers. Sincerely. You know, I thought about being a cop myself, but then I-
    (regretting it as the words come out)
    -got into college.
    Donohue turns to Hernandez. They both look pissed.
    DONOHUE
    Oh, wow. College boy, huh? Color us impressed.
    PETE
    No, that came out wrong. I just-
    DONOHUE
    You know, I haven't calibrated the Breathalyzer recently. We better conduct a field sobriety test.
    PETE
    Guys, please, don't do this.
    HERNANDEZ
    Nah, let's just take him in. Get a blood test, just to be safe.
    PETE
    Let's do the field sobriety test, okay? What do you need me to do?
    DONOHUE
    How about some running in place?
    HERNANDEZ
    Yeah, let's see some of that.
    The Cops share a smirk. Grizzly barks at Pete as he runs in place.

INT. PETE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    Mitchell, Hunter and Eli sit in the car.
    HUNTER
    What the fuck is going on out there?
    REVEAL Pete doing squat thrusts.
    MITCHELL
    We're losing valuable time while Pete's blasting his quads!
    ELI
    This is like a horror movie. It's the Prom Night Hymen Massacre.
    Eli checks his cell phone, then yells out the window:
    ELI
    Not for nothing, Mr. Harrington, but Austin's house has five bedrooms. I Zillowed it!
    ON PETE, who shakes his head in frustration and stops the squat thrusts.
    PETE
    Alright, guys. I think we're done here. I'm sober and pretty sweaty.
    Suddenly, Donohue takes a defensive stance and quickly moves his right hip away from Pete.
    DONOHUE
    Whoa, hey, buddy! Stay back!
    PETE
    What?
    Pete hasn't moved and looks confused.
    DONOHUE
    (to Hernandez)
    You see this guy just make a move for my sidearm?!
    HERNANDEZ
    (catching on)
    Oh, yeah! Totally saw that! Your sidearm. He made a move.
    DONOHUE
    College boy's going to matriculate downtown. I'll load Grizzly. You cuff his ass!
    Hernandez grabs Pete as Donohue walks the dog to the Cruiser. After a beat of hesitation, Pete SHOVES HERNANDEZ TO THE GROUND and sprints to his car!
    HERNANDEZ
    We've got a runner!!!
    SCREECH!!! Donohue turns to see that Pete has peeled out!
    DONOHUE
    Holy fuck!
    Hernandez gets up. He and Donohue look dazed, not knowing how to respond. After a beat, they hop in the Cruiser and take off after the guys.

INT. PETE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
    The guys are STUNNED as Pete flies down the road.
    MITCHELL
    What the hell are you doing?!
    PETE
    We were going to be there all night! We have very little time to find the girls.
    HUNTER
    He's right, they were fucking with him! I've never done the running man during a sobriety check.
    MITCHELL
    They have your license! We're all going to jail!
    PETE
    I know, but what choice did I have?!
    Pete spots the Cruiser in his rear view, lights flashing and sirens blaring. Pete cranks the wheel hard and turns.
    MITCHELL
    Pull over! Marcie's never gonna let me hang out with you guys again!
    ELI
    If anyone survives, tell Julie I loved her and I will live in her room when I'm a ghost!
    Pete makes another sharp turn.
    PETE
    I'm not pulling over. If any of you want out, I'll slow down and you can jump.
    HUNTER
    Then I don't get to bang Debbie and the dream dies. Fuck that!
    Hunter starts pounding the ceiling of the car with his hand.
    ELI
    Yeah, keep hope alive!
    Eli starts banging the ceiling, too. Mitchell, somewhat more reluctantly, joins in. Pete makes a series of hard turns, then pulls into a random driveway and kills the lights.
    PETE
    Get down!
    Everyone ducks in the car and a moment later, the police cruiser flies by down the street!

INT. POLICE CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    The Cops look down each street as they drive by.
    HERNANDEZ
    Goddammit!
    Donohue punches the steering wheel.
    DONOHUE
    Where the fuck do they think they're going? We have the guy's information.
    Donohue holds Pete's driver's license. Hernandez shrugs.
    DONOHUE
    You know, I expect stupid shit like that from my son, but those were grown ass men!

INT. PETE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    Pete and the guys sit up in the car.
    ELI
    Wow!
    The guys laugh nervously, surprised they've gotten away.
    PETE
    I know we're fucked and we're going to be arrested, but by then, our daughters will be home.
    The guys nod. Pete backs out of the driveway, hits the lights and heads the other way.

EXT. AUSTIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    Pete pulls his car in front of Austin's house.
    MITCHELL
    I don't hear a party going on.
    PETE
    Me either.
    The guys hurry up to the house. Eli runs to a bay window and looks in.
    ELI
    Julie, no! You whore! You fucking whore... I loved you!
    Pete, Mitchell and Hunter run over and looks in. Inside, they see a GUY in a tuxedo plowing a GIRL with a RED PROM DRESS hiked up. Her legs are in the air.
    PETE
    We're too late!
    HUNTER
    (to Mitchell)
    Alright, Julie's cherry is busted, but Sam and Kayla could still be intact.
    ELI
    Wait, Austin's not balding.
    The MAN now leans back and the guys can see it's not Austin. It's RON, 45, boning his WIFE.
    PETE
    Oh, thank god. It's just Austin's parents.
    Ron continues pumping until he makes a hideous o-face. The guys recoil in horror!
    MITCHELL
    He was looking at me when he finished.
    HUNTER
    Shit, you know what that means... his load is in your soul.
    Eli looks at Hunter, are you serious? Hunter shakes his head, nah. Eli smiles and fist bumps Hunter. Pete bangs on the door and a winded Ron opens it.
    RON
    Hey fellas. What's up?
    PETE
    Where are the girls, Ron?
    RON
    Come in.
    The guys step inside. Ron's Wife covers herself. Hunter nods a hello at her. She smiles shyly and quickly heads upstairs.
    RON
    Alright, you got me. Guilty as charged. The kids aren't here.
    The guys are stunned.
    PETE
    What the hell's going on here?
    RON
    Just a little prom night role play. Keeping the spark alive. You guys made it an exciting ending.
    (to Mitchell)
    Especially you. When we locked eyes as I climaxed? Intense, right!?
    Mitchell looks sick.
    HUNTER
    That's fucking gross, Ron.
    PETE
    Where are the girls?
    RON
    Who wants a glass of pinot?
    Eli raises a hand.
    PETE
    You lied about throwing a post-prom party? You called me to go over the snack list to make sure it was okay with Julie's allergies.
    RON
    Hey, had to sell it, right?
    PETE
    You were so specific. Teriyaki- glazed beef jerky?
    RON
    Look, the kids just wanted to have some harmless fun without parents bothering them. It's prom. So don't bother them, okay?
    ELI
    One of you guys is gonna hit him, right?
    HUNTER
    Can we go? It smells like semen in here.
    PETE
    (to Ron)
    Where'd they go?
    RON
    I don't know. But they'll be back late tonight. Safe and sound.
    Pete shakes his head and turns to leave with the guys in tow.
    RON
    Pete, hold up.
    Pete turns as the guys walk out.
    RON
    What are you so worried about? Austin is a good kid. You know that. And there is no way that Austin is having sex with Julie tonight...
    Long beat.
    RON
    ... without a condom. I told him how important it is to wear one.
    Pete heads for the door and spots something on the table. It's a CONDOM. Pete picks it up and shows Ron.
    RON
    (remembering)
    You know, I did mention how much better it feels without one. That's my bad.
    Pete storms out.
    RON
    (shouting)
    There's no disputing that!

EXT. LIMO - NIGHT
    The limo is parked at the side of the busy highway. Passing cars HONK as the boys laugh while they piss on some bushes.

INT. LIMO - CONTINUOUS
    Julie, Kayla and Sam sip beer in the back of the limo.
    SAM
    At first I didn't like beer. But with each sip, it gets less gross.
    She takes another big sip.
    SAM
    (wincing)
    So good!
    KAYLA
    I can't get enough of the stuff.
    She takes a long swig, clearly hating it. Sam takes a long chug; Kayla matches it.
    SAM
    Want some, Julie? It's the best thing I've ever tasted.
    JULIE
    No, beer tastes awful.
    KAYLA
    Totally wrong.
    Sam nods. They each swig again.
    SAM
    I can't wait to get with Chad. I'm gonna bounce on him like a yoga ball.
    KAYLA
    I am going to ride Dex like I'm trying to saw it off.
    Julie shakes her head, disgusted.

INT. PETE'S CAR - NIGHT
    Pete drives into town, no one saying a word.
    HUNTER
    What's the plan, Pete? We can't just drive around aimlessly all night.
    ELI
    Should we check the hospitals and morgues?
    MITCHELL
    Oh my god, they could be dead!
    PETE
    They're not dead.
    ELI
    You're right. I'm sorry.
    Mitchell takes a deep breath.
    ELI
    Can we make a quick stop at Mickey Dees? I think the fumes are affecting me.
    PETE
    We're on a mission here, Eli. We don't have time-
    HUNTER
    Just hit the drive-through, Pete. We have no plan and the kid needs sugar.
    Pete sighs and turns into the McDonald's drive-through.
    ELI
    We're all frustrated. Let's just crush a McFlurry and get our heads right.
    HUNTER
    What's that?
    ELI
    It's vanilla ice cream mixed with Oreos. Julie turned me onto them. They're terrific.
    HUNTER
    (to Eli)
    Order me up one of those bad boys, too. Extra large, playa.
    Eli nods. Fist bump, then Eli zips his window down.
    ELI
    Do you want me to ask if they're hiring, Mr. Forde?
    MITCHELL
    Fuck you very much, Eli.
    HUNTER
    He's only trying to help.
    MITCHELL
    You're right. Sorry, Eli... Ask if they offer dental.
    Eli nods.
    MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE (O.S.)
    Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?
    ELI
    Yes, thanks. We'd like-
    Through the glass, Pete spots Julie hanging out of the limo at the drive-through pick-up window.
    PETE
    Holy shit, it's Julie! There they are!
    The guys see Julie grabbing the food (including a McFlurry) and disappearing back into the limo.
    ELI
    Told you she loves the McFlurry!
    MITCHELL
    Get over there, Pete!
    Pete nails the gas, then slams the brakes -- there's a car two feet in front of them. He puts it in reverse, but there's a car right behind them. There's nowhere to go!
    PETE
    We're trapped!
    The girls' limo leaves the McDonald's.
    MITCHELL
    They're getting away!
    ELI
    Austin will probably use the McFlurry to stimulate her nipples.
    Hunter nods, definitely. Pete fumes and turns the wheel hard.
    PETE
    Hang on!
    He punches the gas and the car climbs up the curb and tears into the bushes lining the drive-through.
    ELI
    Fuck yeah, Mr. H!
    Bush debris flies all over the crowded parking lot and CUSTOMERS dive out of the way of the car! Finally free of the line, Pete fishtails onto the road.
    MITCHELL
    They were headed toward Atlantic!
    Pete makes another sharp turn. Mitchell spots the limo.
    MITCHELL
    There. That's them!
    Pete floors it. The shitty car shakes like a bastard as he weaves in and out of traffic.
    ELI
    (re: the car)
    Christ, this thing's a pile of shit. Time for a new car, dude.
    MITCHELL
    (sensitively)
    You do spend an awful lot of time repairing it.
    PETE
    This was Jessica's car.
    HUNTER
    We know, man. We understand.
    Pete nods.
    HUNTER
    But you've gotta move on. If you worked that widower angle properly, you could be blowing your bag all over town.
    PETE
    Can we discuss this later?!
    Pete finally catches up to the limo. Its windows are tinted completely black. The guys can't see in.
    PETE
    You're sure that's them?
    MITCHELL
    I'm positive. I remember the license plate.
    HUNTER
    Pull up next to it.
    Pete pulls up beside the limo. Hunter yells out the window:
    HUNTER
    Pull the fucking limo over NOW!
    Pete honks the horn. The limo accelerates!
    HUNTER
    What's this driver doing?
    PETE
    I had a bad feeling about him when he fleeced me for an extra ten bucks!
    MITCHELL
    He took me for fifty!
    HUNTER
    You fell for that shit?
    The limo cranks a hard turn, desperate to lose the guys.
    PETE
    What the hell?!
    ELI
    He's taking evasive maneuvers!
    Pete follows, gaining on the limo. The limo suddenly takes an impossible right turn, but can't make it. It clips the curb at a high rate of speed, and flips on its side, scraping along the street, shooting sparks for 50 feet!! The limo heads toward a BOWLING ALLEY, where a sign displaying TEN BOWLING PINS sit atop two posts. The limo slides between the posts, taking out eight of the pins, but leaving the dreaded 7-10 split. The guys look on in HORROR.
    PETE
    JULIE!
    Mitchell is frozen in the car. Pete, Eli and Hunter hop out and race to the limo!
    PETE
    Please be okay!
    Pete and Hunter climb up the car and reach the door, which is badly dented. They struggle to open the door. Finally, a BRIDE and GROOM pop out of the sunroof.
    PETE
    It's okay! It's not the girls! It's just some newlyweds.
    IN PETE'S CAR... Mitchell exhales, relieved. AT THE LIMO... The guys help the couple out.
    PETE
    (to the couple)
    Congratulations!
    ELI
    Great dress!
    ON HUNTER...

.. who helps the Limo Driver out.
    HUNTER
    (to the Limo Driver)
    Why didn't you just pull over, man?!
    LIMO DRIVER
    Would you pull over when a bunch of aggro assholes in a hoopdie are screaming and waving at you?
    Hunter nods, good point. He hurries back to Pete and Eli, who talk to the couple but are backing up toward Pete's car.
    HUNTER
    Let's roll!
    GROOM
    (to Pete and Eli)
    Some bumps and bruises, but we're okay. God must have been looking over us because-
    PETE
    We get the idea! Sorry!
    The guys hustle into the car and SCREECH, they take off! The couple eats exhaust.
    BRIDE
    Do you think your mother had something to do with this?
    GROOM
    Don't be ridiculous.
    The Bride looks unconvinced.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT
    At the scene of the limo, a few POLICEMEN and PARAMEDICS surround the area. The Cops look at the totaled limo.
    HERNANDEZ
    Lucky they walked away from this one.
    DONOHUE
    Yeah, they've got a big night of boning ahead of them.
    Hernandez nods, excitedly. Donohue turns serious.
    DONOHUE
    That's off the record.
    HERNANDEZ
    Of course.
    DONOHUE
    Did you catch the description? Sounds like our skells.
    HERNANDEZ
    Yeah, exactly.
    DONOHUE
    You believe the size of the scrotes on these guys?
    HERNANDEZ
    Felony evading, reckless driving, maybe attempted vehicular homicide? Gigantic scrotes!
    DONOHUE
    We nail them, we make detective for sure.
    HERNANDEZ
    It'd be nice not to have to pick up dog shit at work.
    Donohue nods. They climb back into their cruiser.

EXT. GAS STATION - MOMENTS LATER
    Pete gasses up the car. The guys stand around.
    HUNTER
    (glaring at Mitchell)
    "Definitely their limo?"
    MITCHELL
    There was definitely a six in the license plate!
    PETE
    This really sucks.
    MITCHELL
    Hey, at least your girls are with decent kids. Kayla's date has VD written all over him.
    HUNTER
    Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that kid has the hiv.
    MITCHELL
    Oh my god, you're right. I didn't even think of that.
    MITCHELL
    Kayla's gonna get AIDS. And not Magic Johnson AIDS. The bad kind.
    ELI
    Hey, I have an idea.
    Eli whips out his phone and goes online. He navigates to SILVER BACK'S home page.
    ELI
    Check it out!
    CLOSE ON the web page: Two HUGE GORILLAS growl angrily at each other, then one mounts the other and they bang aggressively to a techno track.
    HUNTER
    That's disturbing.
    MITCHELL
    Why would you show us that? I am not into it.
    ELI
    No, look! The girls aren't answering their cells, right?
    He points to the bottom of the page, which reads "To book, call Silver Back's cell directly." The guys exchange looks, then Mitchell quickly dials.
    MITCHELL
    It's ringing!
    PETE
    Put it on speaker.
    Mitchell hits the speaker button.
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    And... Go.
    MITCHELL
    Dex?
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    No.
    MITCHELL
    (reluctantly)
    Silver Back?
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Go for Silver Back.
    MITCHELL
    It's Mitchell. Kayla's dad.
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Who?
    MITCHELL
    Katie's dad.
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Oh, okay. What do you want?
    MITCHELL
    Listen, we're looking for the girls.
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Yeah?
    MITCHELL
    I'm gonna be straight with you. The girls are young and vulnerable and going through a rebellious stage, so they signed a pact to have sex with you guys tonight.
    Pete, Hunter and Eli look like they could kill him. What the fuck are you doing?!
    DEX'S VOICE (O.S.)
    Thanks for the heads up!
    CLICK.
    MITCHELL
    Sure thing. We just need to know where you are. Hello?
    (turns to guys)
    Ahh, must've lost him. Fucking T- Mobile.
    The guys can't believe it. Eli turns to Pete and Hunter.
    ELI
    One of you guys is gonna hit him, right?

INT. PETE'S CAR - LATER
    Pete drives around aimlessly. Everyone is silent... worried.
    ELI
    (to Hunter)
    I had a beautiful evening planned for Julie's first time.
    PETE
    Here we go...
    ELI
    There's a cozy little inn at the end of Dune Road in Montauk. It's off the beaten path, beyond the glitz and shallowness of the Hamptons. It's nearly a hundred years old. It has a wrap-around porch overlooking the Atlantic. Julie and I would stay there on the night we agreed that our love for one another was eternal. We'd walk along the beach after a romantic dinner, then back in our room, I'd light a dozen candles and que up Michael Buble's "Come Fly With Me" - - disc one, of course.
    HUNTER
    Gotta go disc one.
    ELI
    Then we'd kiss passionately for a while as we bathed in the claw-foot tub, then climb into bed and once again proclaim our love, only this time allowing our genitals to do the talking.
    PETE
    More than enough. Thank you, Eli.
    ELI
    Indulge me, Mr. H. The fantasy is all that remains. Following a few hours of love-making, we'd sit out on the balcony overlooking the lighthouse. Julie would rehydrate with a Gatorade as I massaged her feet. We'd sit there in silence, content, and listen to the waves crashing on the beach. And perhaps, should it be the right time of year, we'd be serenaded by the migrating whales singing not far off shore.
    MITCHELL
    That sounds nice.
    HUNTER
    It really does.
    Eli nods and wipes away a tear...
    ELI
    A little later, round two. Maybe reverse cowgirl. That looks fun.
    HUNTER
    It's fantastic.
    PETE
    Look, Eli, we're running out of time. You know how these kids think. Where could they be?
    ELI
    I wouldn't know. I'm not cool.
    HUNTER
    Don't sell yourself short. You've got potential. And you're our best shot at finding them.
    Eli thinks about it.
    ELI
    Maybe Tina would know...
    HUNTER
    (of course!)
    Tina, right!
    (then)
    Who's Tina?
    PETE
    Seriously, Hunter? She was one of Julie's and Sam's best friends.
    Hunter shrugs.
    PETE
    She's a really nice girl. They were always together until...
    (glancing at Mitchell)
    ... recently.
    MITCHELL
    What?
    PETE
    Nothing. It's just that she used to come around a lot more. I got the idea that Kayla didn't like Tina anymore, then I noticed that Tina stopped coming around.
    MITCHELL
    So?
    PETE
    So... I think Kayla's a bad influence.
    MITCHELL
    Kayla is?
    PETE
    Yeah, don't look so surprised. I mean, I'm sure this pact was all her idea.
    MITCHELL
    Kayla's idea?! How the hell would you know that? They all signed it!
    PETE
    It was Kayla's handwriting! And you saw what she was wearing tonight!
    MITCHELL
    What's wrong with her dress?
    PETE
    Dress? I thought it was a belt.
    HUNTER
    He's got a point, Mitchell. Kayla seems way more sexually advanced than Julie or Sam.
    MITCHELL
    Oh, right, like Sam wouldn't know anything about sex? You should have a turnstile on your bedroom door!
    HUNTER
    Hate the game, bro.
    Eli nods.
    MITCHELL
    I'll have you know that Kayla was a girl scout!
    PETE
    She was a girl scout, so she couldn't be promiscuous?!
    MITCHELL
    Well, she's a virgin isn't she!?
    PETE
    I know. That's the most shocking part of this whole fucking night!
    Mitchell shoots a death glare at Pete.
    HUNTER
    (to Eli)
    Girl scouts are usually pretty easy. I finger blasted so many girl scouts when I was a kid that my pinky still smells like thin mints.
    Eli's jaw drops.
    MITCHELL
    Just drive, Pete!

INT. LIMO - NIGHT
    Austin makes out with Julie. Sam, a bit tipsy, looks over at Kayla, then rubs Chad's thigh. Chad's eyes, among other things, grow huge. He laughs nervously. Kayla, also tipsy, leans over and rubs Dex's leg. He slides forward, which moves her hand on his crotch. She quickly removes her hand and he laughs.

EXT. TINA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    The house is dark. Not a single light is on. Pete's car pulls up in front of the house.
    MITCHELL
    Looks like they're asleep.
    PETE
    (still annoyed)
    Really? In the total darkness at night? You think?
    MITCHELL
    Fuck off, Pete.
    Before the guys can get out of the car, Eli is out and climbing a tree in the front yard. Pete gets out and hurries over to him.

EXT. TINA'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
    Pete looks up at Eli.
    PETE
    What are you doing?
    ELI
    This is the quickest way to Tina's room. Her window is open. I'll stop at nothing to preserve Julie's hymen.
    Pete climbs up the tree behind Eli.
    PETE
    Stop saying hymen.

INT. TINA'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
    The room is lit by moonlight. Eli slips in the open window and sits on the bed. He shakes Tina, who is passed out.
    ELI
    Hey Tina. Are you sleeping?
    TINA is 15, but looks younger in her sleep gear and retainer, which makes her lisp.
    TINA
    What the fuckf are you doing in my froomf?
    She grabs a TROPHY from her night stand and wields it like a weapon.
    ELI
    Tina, it's me. Eli. From Mr. Cristofel's art class. How are you?
    TINA
    Make onef moofve and I will bash your fskull.
    Eli smiles.
    ELI
    Sorry. It just sounds funny with the...
    She nods and removes the retainer.
    TINA
    I will bash your fucking skull.
    ELI
    Better. Much more menacing!
    Pete taps at the glass. Tina sees Pete in the window.
    TINA
    Mr. Harrington? What's going on?
    Pete climbs inside the window and gets a full view of Tina, who is very PREGNANT.
    PETE
    Oh, wow. I didn't know you were-
    TINA
    Yeah, Julie didn't want you to know.
    Pete sighs.
    PETE
    Look, Julie's getting in over her head tonight and I'm trying to find her. Do you know where they were going after the prom?
    Tina looks hesitant.
    ELI
    Please, Tina! Help us save Julie from this...
    (staring at her belly)
    ... huge mistake.
    Tina looks offended.
    TINA
    I'm sorry, Mr. Harrington. I'd help if I could. You're an awesome dad. But I don't know where they were going.
    Pete nods, disappointed.
    PETE
    Okay, thanks.
    They turn back to the window, then Pete turns back to her.
    PETE
    You know, Tina, if you ever need any help...
    TINA
    Oh, no, we're gonna be fine.
    PETE
    Oh, the father is still in the picture?
    TROY (O.S.)
    Yeah, still here.
    TROY (18, goofy), BUCK NAKED, springs out of bed. Pete and Eli get a full frontal view. Pete reels backward and knocks over a lamp, which falls with a loud CRASH!
    TINA'S DAD (O.S.)
    (shouting, enraged)
    If he's here again, I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
    TINA
    Everyone should probably leave now.
    Troy, Pete and Eli scramble out the window as TINA'S DAD bursts in swinging a BASEBALL BAT!
    TINA'S DAD
    Nobody runs a train on my daughter!
    The most experienced, Troy is first out the window. Tina's dad takes a swing as Pete and Eli dive out the window and onto...

EXT. TINA'S HOUSE, ROOF - CONTINUOUS
    Troy jumps onto a tree branch, then hangs and drops safely to the ground. Pete and Eli get to the edge of the roof as Tina's Dad swings his bat.
    PETE
    Go, go, go!
    Pete and Eli inexplicably hold hands as they jump off the roof! They grab the branch, then smile at each other, relieved. CRACK! The branch snaps under their weight. They crash down into a bush.
    ELI
    Fuck, that hurts!
    They race to the car. Pete turns the key, but the car won't start!

EXT. STREET - LATER
    The two Cops are parked eating a late dinner. Hernandez passes a piece of burrito to Grizzly, who wolfs it down.
    DONOHUE
    No, don't give him jalapenos. It gives him crazy gas!
    Hernandez looks apologetic. A call comes in:
    RADIO (O.S.)
    Sexual assault by multiple male suspects of an underage girl. 732 Stuyvesant Avenue. Suspects fled in a blue Volvo station wagon.
    DONOHUE
    That's our guys!
    (on radio)
    324. Show us responding.
    HERNANDEZ
    They're escalating!
    Donohue nods. He flips on the siren, whips the car around and heads toward Tina's house.

INT. POLICE CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    SIREN BLARING, the police car zips by Pete's car, which slowly heads in the opposite direction. The cops see it's being pushed by Hunter, Mitchell, Eli and a still-naked Troy.
    HERNANDEZ
    That was them!
    Donohue spins the car around in a hard 180!
    DONOHUE
    You thinking what I'm thinking?
    HERNANDEZ
    (excited)
    Grizzly?!
    DONOHUE
    Turn him loose!
    Hernandez pops the door and Grizzly, the angry German Shepherd, takes off after the guys! Donohue and Hernandez give chase, too. ON PETE...

.. who waits for the car to gain speed.
    PETE
    A little faster guys!
    The guys push with everything they have as Grizzly quickly approaches! 35 feet. 25 feet. 15 feet!
    HUNTER
    Holy shit! The fucking dog is almost on us!
    TROY
    My genitals are exposed!
    Pete cranks the engine and it turns over!
    PETE
    Okay, get in!
    The guys race to the open doors and jump in. Grizzly takes a swipe and bites Mitchell's leg! Mitchell pulls with all he's got and gets free, but the dog rips off a chunk of his pants!
    MITCHELL
    My capris!

INT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    ON PETE as he drives. He hears the guys gasping for breath in the back seat.
    MITCHELL (O.S.)
    I can't believe this.
    PETE
    I know. She probably won't even finish high school.
    HUNTER
    Her poor dad...
    The guys ride in stunned silence for a moment.
    HUNTER
    So, uh, Pete, are you gonna introduce us to your friend?
    PETE
    That's Troy, Tina's boyfriend.
    REVEAL: Troy, still naked, sitting on Mitchell's lap.
    TROY
    Hey dudes.
    MITCHELL
    Stop shifting.
    TROY
    Sorry.
    (beat)
    I know where they went after the prom. Austin's my boy. Give me a ride home and I'll tell you. Cool?
    HUNTER
    Yeah, cool.
    TROY
    He said they were headed down to the piers by Battery Park.
    HUNTER
    Battery Park? They're going into the city?
    Troy nods. The dads look VERY WORRIED. HARD CUT TO: Troy stands on a corner, still naked, as Pete's car peels out.
    TROY
    Hey, we had a deal!

EXT. POLICE CAR - NIGHT
    The Cops load Grizzly back into the car, frustrated.
    HERNANDEZ
    What the hell are these guys into now?
    DONOHUE
    Pretty obvious. Sex trafficking.
    Hernandez nods. The guys suddenly catch a whiff of something and make a disgusted face.
    DONOHUE
    You see? The jalapenos!

EXT. MANHATTAN - NIGHT
    The incomparable NYC skyline glows brightly on this clear night.

INT. PETE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
    Pete flies down the FDR toward Battery Park. The guys look out the windows, concern growing on their faces.
    HUNTER
    I can't believe the kids are in the city alone. Don't they know how dangerous this place is?
    ELI
    Word is, Kayla's into the Saturday night rave scene downtown.
    MITCHELL
    She is not. She goes to Pete's house on Saturday nights. She and Julie take guitar lessons.
    PETE
    Uh, no.
    MITCHELL
    No?
    PETE
    No. Julie told me that she and Kayla were taking guitar lessons at your house on Saturday nights.
    Pete and Mitchell are stewing.
    HUNTER
    Great. That means Sam is mixed up in whatever the hell they're doing on Saturday nights, too.
    ELI
    Nah, they don't hang out with Sam.
    Hunter looks surprised as Pete and Mitchell share a look.
    ELI
    Julie goes to Austin's place on Saturday nights.
    Pete looks at Eli.
    ELI
    (reluctantly admitting)
    I've followed her a bunch of times.
    Pete's not sure whether to be happy or angry about that.
    ELI
    It's okay, Mr. H. I have binoculars and to my knowledge, nothing other than light to moderate petting has occurred.
    HUNTER
    Wait, what do you mean they don't hang out with Sam?
    ELI
    Kayla doesn't like Sam. Julie still does, but Sam's not in the crew anymore.
    HUNTER
    She's not in the crew? Is it... is it drugs?
    ELI
    No. She hangs with the art freaks now.
    HUNTER
    Art freaks?
    Eli nods. Hunter is floored.
    HUNTER
    Why couldn't it have been drugs?
    ELI
    It all happened during spring break. She didn't tell you?
    Hunter shakes his head.
    ELI
    Pink streak in her hair. Dead giveaway.
    HUNTER
    (to Mitchell)
    What the fuck? Kayla is too good for Sam? Give me a fucking break.
    MITCHELL
    It has nothing to do with us, Hunter. I feel really bad about it.
    PETE
    Me, too...
    HUNTER
    You knew about this, too?
    PETE
    Yeah, I assumed you knew until you said something about the girls in karate class. They haven't done that in years.
    Hunter sighs.
    PETE
    Sorry, man. I thought it was obvious that something was wrong with her.
    HUNTER
    I didn't even notice...
    Hunter sits back, feeling terrible...

EXT. BATTERY PARK AREA - NIGHT
    The guys walk around the piers along New York Harbor. Drunk and stoned KIDS are everywhere.
    MITCHELL
    We're never gonna find them down here.
    They spot some PROSTITUTES on the corner.
    HUNTER
    Maybe they've seen the girls.
    The guys head over.
    PROSTITUTE #1
    Hey handsome, you want a date?
    PETE
    No, thanks. But maybe you ladies can help us.
    PROSTITUTE #2
    I'm sure we can, sugar!
    PETE
    Great. We're looking for some young girls.
    MITCHELL
    Fifteen year olds.
    HUNTER
    Very cute.
    MITCHELL
    Two brunettes and a blonde.
    PETE
    The blonde is mine.
    The Prostitutes look at each other with disgust, then one whips out a GUN and the other a BATON! A POLICE SIREN WAILS as a POLICE CAR flies around the corner and blasts its HIGH BEAMS on the terrified guys!
    PROSTITUTE
    ON THE GROUND, SCUMBAGS!!
    PETE
    No, you don't underst-
    She CRACKS Pete behind the knees with the baton and he drops like a sack of shit. The UNDERCOVER COPS cuff the guys. Just then, the kids' limo pulls up. ON THE KIDS... As they file out of the limo, they spot the guys laying on their bellies on the pavement, getting cuffed. They're not close, so they don't recognize them.
    JULIE
    What a bunch of losers.
    KAYLA
    Perverts!
    The kids walk down a pier over which hangs a banner that reads "BOOZE CRUISE AROUND THE STATUE OF LIBERTY!" Austin steps across the gap and onto the boat. He helps Julie cross onto the boat. Dex hops on next and heads inside. Austin helps Kayla and Sam aboard.
    KAYLA
    Thanks, Austin.
    AUSTIN
    Of course.
    ON THE GUYS...

.. Who spot the girls, but it's too late as the kids board a
    PARTY BOAT. HARD CUT TO:

EXT. STREET - LATER
    Mitchell, Hunter and Eli are handcuffed, leaning against a wall.
    MITCHELL
    I guess you'll never get to play with Debbie's pom poms now.
    HUNTER
    I don't give a shit about Debbie. I'm worried about Sam.
    One of the female UNDERCOVER COPS walks over.
    UNDERCOVER COP
    So let me get this straight, you're two of the girls' fathers?
    (off their nods; to Eli)
    And who are you again?
    ELI
    I'm the neighbor slash love interest.
    Mitchell raises his cuffed hand.
    MITCHELL
    Question. Are you currently hiring? I feel as though I could be a real asset to the force.
    UNDERCOVER COP
    (looks him up and down)
    I don't see it.
    ON PETE, who speaks with MAYA, one of the undercover cops dressed as a prostitute. She's very attractive. Maya pops the cuffs off and Pete rubs his wrist.
    PETE
    Thanks for not taking us in. I'm just trying to do the right thing here.
    (struggling to maintain his composure)
    Sorry, It's been a long night.
    Pete drops his head. Maya pats his arm.
    MAYA
    I'm a single parent with a teenager, too, so I know how tough it can be. Cut yourself some slack.
    They share a smile. ON ELI AND HUNTER: Eli gestures to Pete and Maya.
    ELI
    Check it. That hot lady cop is into Mr. H.
    HUNTER
    Too bad he won't do anything about it.
    ELI
    What should he do?
    HUNTER
    She's throwing off serious signals. Now's the time to break the spacial barrier. Touch her. Gently, but in a firm way. Something that says "I'm here for you. I care deeply. My cock is here with us, too."
    ELI
    He's not doing any of that.
    HUNTER
    No, there's no room in his life for anyone but Julie.
    ON PETE AND MAYA as the other guys and the other Undercover Cop walk over:
    MAYA
    I live right near you. Take my card. If there's anything I can do. Or if you just want to...
    (shrugs)
    ... call me sometime.
    She smiles. Pete smiles back. There's real chemistry here.
    PETE
    I'd really like-
    UNDERCOVER COP
    Apologies for the beat down, but this area is full of scumbags just waiting to get their filthy hands on young, naive girls so they can get them hooked on drugs and turn 'em out. Next thing you know, these poor girls are so strung out on crank, they can't keep track of which veins still work or whose dicks they're sucking.
    Pete and Maya's nice moment has been decimated.
    PETE
    On that note...
    Maya nods.

EXT. PIER - MOMENTS LATER
    The guys look out at several PARTY BOATS in the harbor.
    PETE
    We're gonna need a boat.
    HUNTER
    There!
    The guys hurry toward a dock with several boats.
    ELI
    So, Mr. Harrington, did you get that chick's math or what?
    PETE
    What are you talking about?
    HUNTER
    Give it up, Pete. It was so obvious. She took forever patting you down.
    ELI
    You should tear that ass up!
    Fist bump with Hunter.
    MITCHELL
    Eli, some guys will have sex with any woman who comes along. Others of us want to be in love first.
    HUNTER
    And that's why Mitchell's only had sex with two women.
    Mitchell offers no rebuttal.
    ELI
    My only frame of reference is porn. But is sex really different when you're in love?
    PETE
    Yes, Eli. It is.
    HUNTER
    I'd like to disagree, but the truth is, I can't. I remember the first time I made love to my wife. It felt like an earthquake. I can't even put it into words. It's a beautiful memory.
    ELI
    Wow.
    HUNTER
    I still beat off to it sometimes.
    ELI
    Wow, that sounds amazing.
    HUNTER
    It really was...
    ELI
    How many times did you cum in her face?

INT. BOAT - NIGHT
    A post-prom booze cruise is raging as it cruises toward the Statue of Liberty. Austin walks over with a drink for Julie. She smiles. He kisses Julie's neck, but she's distracted. She watches Sam downing beers from plastic cups.
    SAM
    Drink up, you fucking losers!
    Everyone around her cheers and drinks. Kayla throws back a beer, overwhelmed by Sam's pace.
    JULIE
    Be right back.
    Austin grabs her gently and whispers in her ear.
    AUSTIN
    I have a huge boner right now.
    JULIE
    That's sweet.
    Julie walks over to Sam, who is WASTED.
    JULIE
    Hey guys. Fun, huh?
    SAM
    Um, yes.
    KAYLA
    Amazing.
    JULIE
    Are you okay, Sam?
    SAM
    Yeah, I'm great.
    JULIE
    (quietly)
    Maybe you should slow down.
    SAM
    Maybe you should speed up.
    KAYLA
    I gotta piss.
    SAM
    Yeah, me three.
    Kayla and Sam walk away, leaving Julie standing there looking concerned.

INT. BOAT - MOMENTS LATER
    Kayla and Sam approach the bathroom and see a long line. Sam taps a BIG GUY on the shoulder.
    SAM
    Is that the line for the crapper?
    He nods.
    SAM
    Fuck. That.
    Sam heads back outside. Curious, Kayla follows. CUT TO:

EXT. BOAT - MOMENTS LATER
    Kayla laughs while standing near the bow of the boat, which cruises by the STATUE OF LIBERTY.
    SAM (O.S.)
    (shouting)
    I'm the king of the world!
    REVEAL Sam sitting over the BOAT RAILING, pissing.
    SAM
    Hold my leg, bitch!
    Kayla, still laughing, grabs Sam's leg. Julie hurries out and grabs Sam's other leg.
    JULIE
    Sam, get down!
    SAM
    Lady Liberty fought for my right to do this!
    SAM
    (off Julie's confused look)
    Make yourself useful, Julie. Hand me that cocktail napkin.
    Julie hands her a napkin from under a BEER CUP on the railing. Sam takes care of business and hops down.
    SAM
    (to Kayla)
    Alright, I'll help you, then we get back to the guys. Cuz' we gotsta' get some dick tonight.
    Julie looks at Kayla, who looks out over the railing.
    SAM
    Don't tell me you're scared.
    KAYLA
    Of course not.
    SAM
    Then go!
    Kayla can't back down now. She climbs up.
    SAM
    I'm letting you go overboard if you shit.
    Julie looks even more concerned.

EXT. PIER - NIGHT
    The guys walk along the pier, looking for a boat.
    ELI
    That one!
    Eli points to a GLEAMING SPEEDBOAT.
    HUNTER
    Yes, that's exactly what we need. We can speed out there in no time and do it in style.
    Pete and Mitchell nod. They see a GUY next to the boat and the hurry out to him.
    PETE
    Hey!
    The Guy looks over.
    PETE
    We're in a bit of a bind and need a boat. Would you rent us yours?
    GUY
    She's my pride and joy. I would never rent her.
    PETE
    We have cash.
    GUY
    I'm listening.
    PETE
    How does a hundred bucks sound?
    Guy lifts his leg and lets out a growler of a FART. His point has been made. Smellily.
    PETE
    Sounds like a hundred won't cut it, guys.
    The guys dig into their wallets and add up what they've got.
    HUNTER
    We've got four hundred and seventy two bucks.
    GUY
    Deal. But you have to be careful on the motor. She's real sensitive.
    Hunter hands the Guy the cash. The guys excitedly climb into the beautiful boat.
    GUY
    Hold up. What are you doing?
    PETE
    Taking out your boat.
    GUY
    That's not my boat. THAT'S my boat.
    He points to a SHITTY WOODEN SKIFF with a tiny engine. The guys look pissed.

INT. BOAT - MOMENTS LATER
    On the dance floor, Kayla tries to keep up with Sam, who thrust her pelvis at Chad. Kayla slithers seductively down Dex's body and bobs her head, simulating blowing him, then slides up and bites his lip.
    DEX
    You know, Austin got a hotel room tonight.
    KAYLA
    Yeah?
    DEX
    Def. We'll get one, too. Don't worry about the money... we can split it.
    KAYLA
    I've gotta be home tonight.
    DEX
    So does Julie, so they're getting a hotel close to home.
    KAYLA
    Oh. Well, I don't know if-
    SAM
    Fuckin' A right, we're all gonna need rooms!
    Chad looks surprised.
    DEX
    Nice. I'll reserve one for you, too, bro.
    CHAD
    (tentatively)
    Uh, yeah, okay.
    (trying to be cool)
    Def.
    DEX
    That's what the fuck I'm talking about!
    Dex aggressively high fives Chad, mangling Chad's hand. He hides the pain and quickly grabs a cold beer in his hand to soothe the pain.
    CHAD
    A non-smoking room, please.
    DEX
    I'm not sure about you, bro.
    Sam grabs the beer and pours it over her mouth, wearing more than she drinks.
    SAM
    Woooooooooooooooo!!!!!
    Dex laughs, then smacks Kayla's ass as he walks away, cell phone in hand. Kayla continues dancing, but something is different. She looks NERVOUS... the reality of the pact is settling in. She sees Julie looking over and smiles, then dances again.

EXT. NEW YORK HARBOR - NIGHT
    The guys are crammed on the skiff as it slowly chugs out into the choppy bay. It's a rough ride.
    MITCHELL
    Can this thing go any faster, Hunter?
    HUNTER
    (sarcastically)
    Oh, yeah. Way faster, but I thought we should take it slowly. Enjoy the sea air.
    ELI
    Good one.
    Hunter nods.
    MITCHELL
    (re: a party boat)
    That one!
    PETE
    Are you sure?
    MITCHELL
    Yes!
    LATER... The guys approach the party boat. There is no one on the deck, but they see glimpses of people inside the boat in tuxedoes and gowns. They tie the boat to the side and all climb aboard the ladder. The music is pumping on the boat.

INT. PARTY BOAT - MOMENTS LATER
    The first TUXEDOED GUY they encounter is in his 30s and drunk. He looks surprised to see the guys.
    MITCHELL
    Geez, these kids look older and older every year.
    The guys hear a MAN talking on a mic:
    MAN (O.S.)
    Thanks everyone for celebrating with us today. I'm sure you've all heard by now...
    The guys enter the main cabin of the party boat and see a MAN at a podium -- it's the GROOM the guys ran off the road!
    GROOM
    We almost didn't make it here this evening. Wait - is that...?
    All eyes turn to the guys.
    BRIDE
    Son of a bitch! They're back to finish the job!
    PETE
    No-
    The Bride whips the CAKE KNIFE across the room. Pete ducks and the knife sticks in the wall!
    GROOM
    Grab those guys!
    Several GUESTS step toward the guys.
    MITCHELL
    Sorry, wrong boat!
    HUNTER
    (to Pete re: Mitchell)
    Why do we keep listening to him?!
    PETE
    Let's haul ass!
    The guys take off! They run out on the deck. Hunter turns to climb down the ladder, but there's no time.
    PETE
    Go!
    Pete shoves Hunter, who flies off the deck and hits the water next to the boat! Pete and Eli jump into the water. An ELDERLY WOMAN grabs Mitchell, who shoves her, then jumps, landing HARD in the boat!
    MITCHELL
    AHHHH!
    The guys scramble into the boat and Hunter cranks the tiny engine! ON THE PARTY BOAT The Bride looks at the Groom.
    BRIDE
    Are you sure this was not your mother?
    GROOM
    Pretty sure!
    Both look at the GROOM'S MOTHER, suspiciously, as she does the chicken dance. GUESTS throw things at the boat: shoes, the wedding cake and an ice sculpture, which puts a split in the floor of the skiff! ON THE SKIFF
    PETE
    Gun it!!!
    They move away from the party boat as the skiff takes on water.
    ELI
    I think we're safe.
    The guys look momentarily relieved. Suddenly, Pete and Mitchell in the front of the boat are moving away from Eli and Hunter in the back of the boat. The boat has split in half.

EXT. NEW YORK HARBOR - LATER
    The four guys hold onto a chunk of the boat and kick their way back toward the pier as the girls' PARTY BOAT cruises by in the distance.
    MITCHELL
    I bet that's the girls' boat.
    PETE
    (no shit)
    Thanks, Mitchell.
    ELI
    This sucks. The rumors I've heard about the motion of the ocean and all that, any truth to that?
    HUNTER
    I'm afraid so. When I had my boat, I did more offshore drilling than BP.
    LATER... The PARTY BOAT docks and the guys see the girls and their dates step onto the pier. ON THE GUYS...

.. still kicking.
    PETE/ELI
    JUUUUULIEEEEEEE!!!!!
    MITCHELL
    KAAAAAAAYLAAAAA!!!!!
    HUNTER
    They can't hear you, guys. Forget it. It's over...
    They watch, helplessly, as the kids get into the limo and drive away.
    ELI
    (getting upset)
    I'm sorry I found the pact, guys. I shouldn't have been snooping in Julie's room in the first place.
    PETE
    None of this is your fault, Eli. This is on us. Tonight is about our failings as fathers.
    MITCHELL
    Yeah, Kayla's acting out because she's embarrassed of me. She probably did instigate this whole thing.
    PETE
    No, Mitchell. I'm sorry about saying that.
    MITCHELL
    No, it's probably true. I want my kids to respect me, but I can't even find a job. I'm not worthy of their respect.
    HUNTER
    Well, I didn't even know Sam was being excluded. I'm so wrapped up in my own shit that I had no idea about the pain she must be feeling. I don't know anything about her.
    Hunter is choked up. The guys look at him - they've never seen him like this.
    HUNTER
    The truth is, I'm terrified of her. I expected to have a boy. What do I have in common with a 15 year old girl? So I just... I don't even try. I'm a terrible father.
    Pete puts his arm on Hunter's shoulder.
    PETE
    There's plenty of blame to go around. When I lost Jessica, I tried so hard to be Julie's friend that I smothered her. She was desperate to prove her independence. I drove her to this.
    Beat. Eli realizes he's the only one kicking.
    ELI
    Are you guys counting on the tide here or what?

INT. PETE'S CAR - NIGHT
    Back on Long Island, Pete exits the highway. The guys sit silently, soaking wet and feeling horrible about themselves.
    ELI
    You guys shouldn't be so hard on yourselves. At least you're around. My dad left when I was six.
    HUNTER
    His loss, Eli.
    Eli nods a "thank you." He starts to sob. Hunter puts his arm around Eli.
    HUNTER
    It's gonna be okay.
    ELI
    Yeah, it's just that all my hopes and dreams are dead... And my pain is just beginning. I bet Julie and Austin will be doing it all the time now. Once you pop, you can't stop.
    HUNTER
    Julie is a terrific kid. But you'll meet someone else.
    ELI
    I don't think so...
    They drive past a 7-11 and Pete spots something.
    PETE
    Holy shit!
    Pete whips the minivan into a U-turn and screeches to a stop in the 7-11 parking lot.
    MITCHELL
    What are you doing, Pete!?
    Pete points at Seth, the limo driver, walking into the 7-11.
    MITCHELL (CONT'D
    I told you there was a six in the license plate!!

INT. 7-11 - NIGHT
    The guys rush over to Seth, who leans against a Slurpee machine, enjoying a cold one.
    SETH
    What can I do for you fellas?
    HUNTER
    You know what we want.
    SETH
    Coupla' eight balls?
    PETE
    Our daughters. They were in your limo tonight.
    SETH
    Oh right. I'd love to help you out, but I'm not at liberty to say where they went. Because of limo driver/passenger privilege. Confidentiality and all that.
    (rubbing fingers together, looking for a bribe)
    You understand.
    MITCHELL
    I gave you fifty bucks earlier tonight!
    SETH
    I'm back to funerals until next summer, man. Do you have any idea how poorly grieving people take hints?
    Out of cash, the guys look defeated. Suddenly, a fist connects with Seth's jaw, knocking him down. The guys look over at Eli, who rubs his hand.
    HUNTER
    Nice.
    ELI
    I knew none of you would hit him.
    PETE
    (to Seth)
    Where are they?
    SETH
    (struggles to get it out)
    I just dropped them off at the Courtyard by Marriott.
    As the guys look on, Eli turns on the Slurpie machine which pours a steady stream of blue Slurpie onto Seth, who remains on the floor. Eli exits the 7-11 as a man.
    HUNTER
    (re: Eli)
    The kid's balls dropped tonight.
    Mitchell nods, impressed with Eli.

EXT. PETE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
    Hernandez and Donohue sit in their cruiser staring at Pete's house. The RADIO chirps to life.
    RADIO (O.S.)
    Assault and battery at the 7-11 1738 West Babylon Turnpike. Multiple male suspects in a blue Volvo wagon.
    Cops look at each other and nod.
    DONOHUE
    324. Show us responding!
    Hernandez pumps a fist! Donohue hits the gas!

EXT. COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT - LATER
    The boys get their keys at the front desk as the girls wait outside.
    KAYLA
    Well, this is it.
    She looks right at Sam, who doesn't flinch.
    SAM
    Can't wait.
    Kayla nods.
    JULIE
    It's not too late to back out of this thing, you know?
    SAM
    Why would I do that? I'm all about the cock.
    KAYLA
    I'm also pretty much all about the cock as well, so...
    JULIE
    This conversation is foul.
    The boys walk out of the lobby and the three couples split up and head to their rooms.
    SAM
    Okay, well... we're going to our room now.
    KAYLA
    We're going to ours, too.
    The three couples stand there awkwardly for a moment until Julie and Austin walk away.
    DEX
    The fuck are we waiting for?
    Sam grabs Chad's hand and starts walking. Kayla nervously walks away with Dex. Sam looks back at Kayla, who is looking back at her. Neither flinches...

INT. PETE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
    Pete flies down the road until the guys spot the police cruiser again, lights on and sirens blaring.
    HUNTER
    Shit!
    MITCHELL
    No, not now! Not now!
    Pete turns hard.

INT. POLICE CAR - CONTINUOUS
    The Cops smile.
    HERNANDEZ
    These clowns think they're getting away!
    DONOHUE
    Not this time, buddy!

INT. PETE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
    Pete spots a second POLICE CRUISER join the chase. He turns hard again and the two cruisers follow.
    HUNTER
    Another bogey!
    Suddenly, a POLICE HELICOPTER appears in the sky, spot light blasting on Pete's car.
    MITCHELL
    Oh crap!
    ELI
    Eye in the sky!
    Pete whips the car down an alley and they emerge in a commercial area. The spotlight still shines on the car.
    HUNTER
    We can't shake it!
    MITCHELL
    This is a dead end!
    HELICOPTER COP (O.S.)
    He's got nowhere to go.
    PETE
    There!
    Pete points to a parking garage.
    MITCHELL
    That's crazy. We'll be trapped!
    Pete slides hard into the parking garage and flies up the levels. IN THE CRUISER... Hernandez is on the radio.
    HERNANDEZ
    Suspects have driven into a parking garage on Lafayette and Grand. Only two ways in or out. We'll take the North entrance.
    SECOND POLICE CRUISER (O.S.)
    Copy. We've got the East entrance.
    The Cruisers drive into the two garage entrances.
    HERNANDEZ (INTO RADIO)
    Suspects surrounded. We've got it from here. Thanks for the help.

INT. HELICOPTER - CONTINUOUS
    The helicopter circles.
    HELICOPTER COP
    Roger that.
    The helicopter banks and takes off.

INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
    The garage is dark. Donohue turns the corner onto the fourth floor and spot Pete's car slowly driving toward them at about 2 miles an hour.
    DONOHUE
    What the fuck are these guys up to?
    Donohue stops the cruiser and the two cops hop out, guns drawn and pointed at Pete's car. The COPS from the second car stand behind their doors, also with guns pointed. Pete's car picks up speed down the slight decline.
    DONOHUE
    Stop the vehicle and get out with your hands up!
    Nothing. The car continues toward them, only twenty feet away. Fifteen feet. Ten feet. Donohue motions to his partner and the two OPEN FIRE!! Glass explodes! The car continues toward them and the two cops step to the side to avoid the slow-moving vehicle. The car hits the wall! Donohue nods to Hernandez, who approaches the car, gun still drawn. Donohue and the other two Cops hang back. Hernandez reaches out and whips open the driver's door.
    HERNANDEZ
    HANDS UP, MOTHERFUCKERS!!
    The car is EMPTY. The car is in NEUTRAL. The cops look confused.
    HERNANDEZ
    Shit!
    He kicks Pete's car.
    DONOHUE
    Let's search the garage. If they're not here, we'll check the hotel. These guys are going down.
    CUT TO:

INT. PARKING GARAGE - FIRST LEVEL
    The guys all sit in a MINIVAN with a smashed-in driver's window. The electronics hang below the steering wheel. The engine idles.
    HUNTER
    (to Pete)
    I guess all that work you did on Jessica's beater paid off.
    Pete nods, but looks upset.
    MITCHELL
    It's alright, Pete. You'll get the car back.
    ELI
    (sotto)
    When you get out of prison.
    PETE
    Okay, here we go. Nice and easy.
    Pete slowly pulls the minivan out of the garage, flips on the lights and casually cruises away from the parking lot.

INT. COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT - NIGHT
    Soft music plays. Austin lights a couple of candles. It's romantic... for high school kids.
    AUSTIN
    What do you think?
    JULIE
    It's really nice.
    He smiles. They kiss on top of the made bed.
    AUSTIN
    You're sure you want to do this, right?
    JULIE
    Yes.
    AUSTIN
    Thank you!
    Julie laughs.
    JULIE
    Stop asking. I love you and I want to be with you.
    AUSTIN
    I love you, too.
    Julie stands and unzips her dress. It drops to the floor. Austin stares at Julie's body.
    AUSTIN
    Thanks again!
    Julie laughs and gets into bed.

INT. KAYLA AND DEX'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
    Kayla checks out the room while Dex lays on the bed. He looks like a cheetah about to pounce on a weakened gazelle.
    KAYLA
    The room is bigger than I expected.
    DEX
    I'll show you something bigger than you expected.
    Kayla chuckles nervously.
    KAYLA
    Should we order some room service?
    DEX
    Oh are you hungry? I got something that will fill you up.
    He smiles, pleased with himself.
    DEX
    (to clear up any potential confusion)
    I'm talking about this.
    He grabs his package.
    KAYLA
    Yeah, I got that.
    He pats the bed next to him and she reluctantly sits down. He moves in aggressively for a kiss. His tongue whips around like a weed whacker.

INT. SAM AND CHAD'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
    The hotel room is filled with sounds of SLURPING.
    SAM (O.S.)
    (mouth full)
    How's that?
    CHAD (O.S.)
    Too much teeth.
    ON CHAD, who looks uncomfortable. REVEAL Sam sucking aggressively on his... toes.
    SAM
    I am going to eat you alive.
    CHAD
    Uh, okay.
    Chad could not look any more confused. He flinches repeatedly, trying hard to stifle his laugh reflex.
    CHAD
    No, not the pinky toe!
    SAM
    Fuck yes, the pinky toe! He's my bitch!
    Not sexy.
    CHAD
    You know, this isn't doing much for me. Can we try something else?
    SAM
    I thought you'd never ask...

INT. MINIVAN - NIGHT
    The car flies down the road toward a light that turns RED.
    MITCHELL
    Red light! Red light!
    Pete blows the light. HONK!!! Pete swerves, narrowly avoiding an accident with a truck! Out of control, the minivan screeches a hard turn into the parking lot of the hotel. The back of the minivan fishtails, taking out a bush and the neon VACANCY SIGN. Smoke rises from the crushed sign as the minivan stops in front of the lobby.

EXT. COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT - CONTINUOUS
    The guys charge out of the minivan. Down the hall, the Groom is carrying the Bride across the threshold. They spot the guys and look terrified.
    GROOM
    (sotto)
    Okay, it's true! My mother never liked you!
    He rushes into the room, banging her head on the door jamb, then slams the door.

INT. COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT - MOMENTS LATER
    Mitchell steps to the front desk and rings the bell. Nothing. Impatient, he pounds the bell. A HOTEL CLERK appears from the back room and slides the bell away from Mitchell.
    HOTEL CLERK
    Can I help you gentlemen?
    MITCHELL
    Yes. We're looking for our daughters. It's prom and we have reason to believe they're staying here.
    HOTEL CLERK
    We get a lot of kids on prom nights. We usually have to burn those sheets.
    MITCHELL
    Terrific! This is a picture of them.
    Mitchell shows a picture on his Motorola Razor. The Hotel Clerk squints.
    HOTEL CLERK
    Sorry, what am I looking at?
    MITCHELL
    This is the kids in front of the limo.
    HOTEL CLERK
    How old is this phone? I can't make out shit in this picture. Maybe you could draw her.
    MITCHELL
    Just let us see a list of the hotel guests.
    HOTEL CLERK
    Sorry, buddy. No can do.
    MITCHELL
    You can't or won't?
    HOTEL CLERK
    Both, I guess.
    Mitchell shakes his head.
    MITCHELL
    I did not want to do this.
    Mitchell moves his hands below the counter and makes the sound of a SHOTGUN BEING LOADED.
    MITCHELL
    You're going to give us that information now, aren't you?!
    HOTEL CLERK
    Because you just made some half- assed gun sound? I could see your mouth.
    Mitchell turns to the guys.
    MITCHELL
    I need to work on that one.
    Pete sighs. He leans closer to the Hotel Clerk and takes a softer tone.
    PETE
    Look, buddy, do you have kids?
    The Hotel Clerk nods.
    PETE
    It's prom night and our teenaged daughters are in your hotel somewhere with their dates. They're about to make the biggest mistake of their lives.
    Pete turns and faces Mitchell and Hunter for effect.
    PETE
    None of us have been perfect fathers. But tonight -- right now -- we have a chance to make up for all the mistakes we've made and save our girls from doing something they'll regret for the rest of their lives.
    Hunter pats Pete on the back. Mitchell nods, emotional.
    PETE
    So I'm asking you, one father to another. What do you say?
    HOTEL CLERK
    (emotionless, shrugs)
    I have boys, so...
    Eli approaches the counter and starts swinging, but he can't reach the bewildered Hotel Clerk.
    ELI
    You bastard!
    The guys drag Eli away.
    MITCHELL
    I give up. I'm gonna get some air.
    Mitchell winks at the guys and leaves the lobby. Hunter looks at Pete, who shrugs.
    HUNTER
    What the fuck do we do now? Run up and down the hallway screaming their names?
    The PHONE rings and the Hotel Clerk answers.
    HOTEL CLERK
    Hello?.. A bomb, huh? Yeah, I should probably evacuate the rooms then, I guess.
    The Hotel Clerk nonchalantly hangs up the phone.
    HOTEL CLERK
    Can you let your friend know I can see him through the glass?
    The guys look out the window and see Mitchell standing right in front of the lobby on his cell. He gives them the thumbs up.
    PETE
    I have an idea.
    Pete takes out his cell.

INT. KAYLA AND DEX'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
    Kayla is standing at the sink in the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror.
    DEX (O.S.)
    (frustrated)
    You know, I could have gone to the prom with a million other girls who would love to be here right now.
    KAYLA
    I'll be right there.
    DEX
    Oh, hard to get, huh?
    Dex walks into the bathroom.
    DEX
    You can skip that shit. I know all about the pact.
    He leans into her and starts kissing her neck. Kayla looks surprised... and scared.

INT. SAM AND CHAD'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
    Sam dry humps Chad, who tries to squirm away until he finds himself on his belly. Sam is grinding against his back.
    SAM
    Dude, you're doing it wrong.
    He slips out from under her and lands on the floor.
    CHAD
    I'm sorry... I'm not ready for this, Sam.
    SAM
    What?
    (re: his hard-on)
    You seem ready.
    CHAD
    Well, I'm not. I can't have sex with you.
    SAM
    Seriously?
    Chad nods.
    SAM
    Is it someone else?
    CHAD
    Yes. It's Jesus.
    (beat)
    I made him a promise. I gave him my word to stop at third.
    Sam looks repulsed. LATER...

.. MAYA, the woman cop, still dressed as a prostitute, shows her badge to the Hotel Clerk.
    He reluctantly slides a sheet of paper to the guys. It's got the girls' room numbers on it.
    HUNTER
    Thanks, asshole.
    Mitchell looks at a HELP WANTED SIGN on the desk.
    MITCHELL
    (gesturing toward it)
    What's the situation here?
    HOTEL CLERK
    Uh, yeah, I'm not hiring you.
    MITCHELL
    Yeah? Well, I wasn't really interested anyway, so... whatevs.

EXT. LOBBY - MOMENTS LATER
    The guys all exit the lobby together.
    PETE
    I don't know how to thank you.
    MAYA
    Buy me a coffee sometime.
    PETE
    I'd like that.
    (to the guys)
    Let's bring our girls home.
    Mitchell and Hunter nod and take off.
    ELI
    It was my pleasure taking on this mission with you, Mr. H. Whatever happens -- hymen or no hymen -- you're a great father.
    Pete nods and leaves the lobby with Maya.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT
    Pete and Maya rush down a hallway and into...

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS
    Pete frantically hits the 4th floor button.
    MAYA
    What are you going to do when you get to the room?
    PETE
    I hadn't thought that far ahead.
    MAYA
    So this guy she's with. Real scumbag, huh?
    PETE
    What? No, he's a nice boy. They've been dating for over a year.
    MAYA
    Oh, I guess I just assumed...
    PETE
    No, it's just... Julie and I are really close. And I didn't even know she was planning this tonight.
    MAYA
    Well, I remember when I told my dad when I was about to have sex. Great memory!
    PETE
    Really?
    MAYA
    No. Never happened.
    Pete thinks about it as the elevator climbs.

INT. HOTEL, HALLWAY - NIGHT
    Hunter races down a long hallway. He stops in front of a room and bangs on the door. It swings open on its own.
    HUNTER
    Sam? Are you in there?
    Hunter steps inside the room.
    HUNTER
    I'm coming in! Anything inside my daughter is coming off!
    He finds an empty room. The bed is a mess and looks well used.
    HUNTER
    I'm too late...
    He collapses into a chair and sits with his thoughts. He starts to break down. He cries quietly.

EXT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
    Anxious to follow through on the pact, Sam walks to a HEAVYSET MAN in his late 20s at a vending machine.
    SAM
    Hey old-timer. Getting your late night grub on, huh?
    He looks around to see if she's talking to him. She is.
    HEAVYSET MAN
    Yeah, just getting some M&Ms.
    SAM
    (seductively)
    I like M&Ms too. Original, peanut... I love 'em all.
    HEAVYSET MAN
    That's good.
    SAM
    Wanna fuck?
    The Heavyset Man looks surprised. He nods.
    SAM
    Then let's get you out of those huge clothes.
    Eli, pacing outside the lobby, spots Sam as she and the Heavyset Man walk down the hallway.
    ELI
    Sam?
    SAM
    Eli?
    Eli walks over to her.
    ELI
    Hey, what's going on?
    SAM
    (eating M&Ms)
    I'm gonna go do this old dude because Chad fagged out on me.
    ELI
    Oh.
    Sam turns and heads into the guy's room...
    ELI
    Wait.
    Eli walks over and the Heavyset Man goes to shut the door. Eli sticks his foot in the door.
    ELI
    I don't think you should bang this guy. He seems like a complete loser. No offense.
    Despite Eli's comment, the Heavyset Man does appear offended.

INT. KAYLA AND DEX'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
    Dex is on top of Kayla on the bed. He's kissing her aggressively. He slides his hand up her shirt.
    KAYLA
    Alright, slow down, Dex.
    DEX
    I'm a gorilla, baby!
    KAYLA
    No, you're an asshole!
    Dex doesn't stop.

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
    Eli continues reasoning with Sam.
    ELI
    I know you want to fit in. We all do.
    Sam drops her head.
    ELI
    But you don't have to do this. You don't have to do...
    (with disgust)
    HIM. He's a zero. Again, no offense.
    The Heavyset Man is offended again. Sam looks at the guy, then at Eli.
    ELI
    You've always been really sweet to me. I can't just let you do this without trying to stop you. I mean, look at you. You're beautiful. And look at this guy.
    Sam looks at the Heavyset Man, who tries to suck in his gut. She smiles at Eli.
    ELI
    Let's get out of here.
    She thinks about it for a moment, then turns to the Heavyset Man and hands him the bag of M&Ms.
    SAM
    Sorry.
    He nods as she leaves with Eli.

INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
    Pete hurries down a hallway.
    PETE
    (realizing)
    I can stop her tonight, but what about tomorrow night? What about next week?
    MAYA
    At some point, you have to trust that you've done a good job with her and let her live her life.
    PETE
    Yeah, I know. But she's only 16.
    MAYA
    How old were you when you lost your virginity?
    Caught. Pete swallows.
    PETE
    I don't see how that's relevant.
    She shoots him a look - of course you do.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT
    Mitchell runs up to a door and checks the number. This is it. He tentatively knocks on the door.
    MITCHELL
    Peanut?
    He hears Kayla inside:
    KAYLA (O.S.)
    I said get the fuck off!
    Mitchell steps back from the door. He's freaking out. Suddenly, he steps back and rams the door HARD with his shoulder. It makes a lot of noise, but doesn't give. He tries again. Still nothing. He looks down, lifts his capri pant leg and looks at his large calf. He quickly kicks the door handle and the door finally gives way!

INT. KAYLA AND DEX'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
    Mitchell runs into the room!
    DEX
    What the fuck?!
    Kayla quickly covers herself, mascara running down her face with tears. Mitchell grabs Dex by the throat. Dex throws a punch and Mitchell blocks it. Mitchell unleashes a devastating uppercut Blood explodes across Dex's face as he goes to the floor. Dex loses a front tooth. Dex groans as he rolls around on the floor. Kayla jumps into her father's arms.
    MITCHELL
    Are you okay?!
    She nods, a tear streaming down her face.
    DEX
    Who the hell is this guy?!
    KAYLA
    That's my daddy, asshole!
    Mitchell is taken aback by her calling him daddy.
    KAYLA
    I'm so sorry, dad.
    MITCHELL
    It's okay, baby. Let's get out of here.
    Kayla kicks Dex in the gut on the way out.

EXT. HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER
    Eli and Sam sit on a bench near the lobby. She smiles at him. He realizes how pretty she is.
    SAM
    I'm so embarrassed.
    ELI
    Don't be. We're kids. We're supposed to make mistakes.
    She laughs.
    ELI
    If you wanna talk about it, I'm here for you.
    He reaches out and strokes her arm gently, but in a firm way.
    SAM
    I felt so much pressure because my friends are in such a rush to do everything. It was a mistake. I wasn't ready to go all the way.
    ELI
    I totally get it. You'll know when you're ready.
    SAM
    I'm more comfortable now. With you.
    She looks at him, this is his window.
    ELI
    You've had a lot to drink tonight. I don't want to take advantage.
    SAM
    I puked four times. I'm good now.
    Eli considers the offer.
    ELI
    As much as it turns me on to hear that, you said yourself, you're not ready.
    Sam looks disappointed. Long beat.
    ELI
    Do you think your mouth is ready?
    Sam smiles.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
    Pete and Maya get to Julie's room and Pete hesitates. He takes a deep breath and raises his hand to knock on the door. He lingers, then drops his hand.
    PETE
    I've had a hard time moving on from my wife. Julie will be going to college soon and I'll be alone.
    Maya puts his hand on his shoulder.
    PETE
    And now... I'm not even sure I'm doing this for Julie.
    He sighs.
    PETE
    Let's get out of here before I change my mind.
    Maya nods and slips her arms through Pete's. They walk away.
    PETE
    How about that cup of coffee?
    MAYA
    (re: her hooker outfit)
    Maybe after a change of clothes?
    Pete smiles.

EXT. COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT - NIGHT
    Hunter walks toward the car as Eli and Sam walk out from a row of bushes. Eli looks elated... and spent.
    ELI
    And the season is right, so we'll be able to hear the whales serenading us.
    SAM
    I can't wait!
    (beat)
    Bring your Serenity BluRay.
    Eli beams.
    HUNTER
    Sweetheart!
    SAM
    Oh, hey dad.
    Hunter runs over and grabs Sam and to her surprise, hugs her. He wipes tears from his eyes.
    SAM
    I'm fine, dad. Nothing happened.
    Hunter pumps a fist.
    HUNTER
    I'm sorry I haven't been a better dad. I should have known you were going through a tough time with your friends.
    SAM
    It's okay.
    HUNTER
    No, it's not. I haven't been involved enough in your life and you're the most important thing in the world to me.
    Sam smiles.
    HUNTER
    But it's not too late. I'm gonna make it up to you. Okay, Sammy?
    SAM
    (emotional)
    I'd like that, dad.
    They hug again. Sam takes Eli's hand.
    HUNTER
    What's that about?
    ELI
    You were right. I can move on. I love her, Hunter.
    Hunter takes a moment, then nods. Sam smiles.

EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT
    Mitchell and Kayla walk out of the Hotel.
    MITCHELL
    You know, Kayla. I know you're embarrassed of me. And I don't blame you. I'm sure it's not easy having a dad who's unemployed.
    KAYLA
    You're unemployed?
    MITCHELL
    (stunned)
    Yeah. Going on eight months.
    (beat)
    If you didn't know, why are so embarrassed of me?
    KAYLA
    I'm a teenager. I have my own issues. If it makes you feel any better, you're no more or less embarrassing than anyone else's dad.
    MITCHELL
    Thanks, Peanut. That means a lot.
    They approach the minivan.
    KAYLA
    Whose minivan?
    MITCHELL
    We had to steal it to ditch the cops. I'll explain later. Or not.
    Kayla smiles, impressed.
    KAYLA
    (sotto)
    Bad. Ass.
    Kayla climbs into the car and hugs Sam.
    KAYLA
    I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you.
    SAM
    Don't worry about it.
    KAYLA
    Friends again?
    Sam nods. Kayla notices Eli who smiles and nods to her.
    KAYLA
    What's he doing here?
    SAM
    He's with me.
    KAYLA
    Cool.
    Pete and Maya walk over to the guys. Suddenly, the POLICE CRUISER flies into the lot.
    MITCHELL
    Oh shit.
    PETE
    (resigned)
    We knew this was gonna happen.
    MITCHELL
    (hugging Kayla)
    It was worth it.
    HUNTER
    (nods)
    Time to pay the piper.
    The cops hop out with their guns drawn!
    DONOHUE
    On the ground, assholes!!
    The guys put their hands up. Hernandez handcuffs the dads and Eli. Suddenly, Dex comes stumbling out by the lobby. Donohue spots him.
    DONOHUE
    Poindexter? What are you doing here?
    ON KAYLA AND SAM
    SAM
    Poindexter?!
    Kayla laughs. ON DONOHUE
    DONOHUE
    What the hell's going on?
    (re: his bloody face)
    What happened to you, son?
    Dex doesn't know what to say. He looks at the kids, then turns to Donohue.
    DEX
    It's not my fault! She signed a pact!
    CUT TO:

EXT. COURTYARD BY MARRIOTT - MOMENTS LATER
    Donohue talks with Mitchell, Pete and Hunter as Hernandez uncuffs them.
    PETE
    We'll pay for all of the damages. Thanks for not taking us in.
    DONOHUE
    Thank you for not pressing charges. I promise he will not get a free pass on this.
    ON KAYLA AND SAM...

.. who look at Eli, still handcuffed.
    KAYLA
    I think I get why you're into Eli. He's kind of a bad boy, huh?
    SAM
    I think he might be.
    ON DONOHUE...

.. who grabs Dex by the ear and drags him to the police car. Dex now looks like the large boy he still is.
    DONOHUE
    Get in the car right now... And no turntables for a month!
    DEX
    But dad!!
    Donohue slams the car door. He and Hernandez get in. Grizzly licks and slobbers on Dex's face. He looks miserable as they drive off. ON PETE...

.. who turns to Hunter, Mitchell and Eli.
    PETE
    What a night, huh?
    MITCHELL
    Awful.
    HUNTER
    Crazy.
    ELI
    Best night of my life.
    PETE
    It was something, alright.
    Hunter begins to laugh hard. They look at him.
    PETE
    What?
    HUNTER
    Mitchell has two more daughters!
    Everyone laughs but Mitchell. Maya pulls up in her car.
    PETE
    I'll see you guys later.
    Hunter, Mitchell and Eli nod to him as Pete climbs into the car. Hunter hops in the minivan driver's seat.
    HUNTER
    Now how about that McFlurry!
    The minivan drives across the hotel parking lot. Its front bumper drags, then falls off as the minivan peels out onto the street.

INT. PETE'S HOUSE - LATE NIGHT
    The front door opens and Julie walks in quietly. A LOUD NOISE comes from the kitchen.
    JULIE
    Dad?
    She walks...

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
    ... where she finds Pete standing on the opposite side of the island.
    PETE
    Hey, sweetheart. How was your night?
    JULIE
    It was... amazing.
    Pete nods, knowing far more than he should about her night.
    PETE
    (sincerely)
    I'm glad.
    JULIE
    Thanks for letting me go.
    PETE
    (recognizing the double meaning)
    It wasn't easy...
    JULIE
    I know. I'm glad you're my dad.
    Pete smiles.
    JULIE
    I'm tired. I'm gonna head up to bed.
    Pete nods. Julie stops and turns back to Pete.
    JULIE
    How about the first week in August?
    Pete looks confused.
    JULIE
    For our camping trip?
    PETE
    What about Austin and your friends?
    JULIE
    I wanna spend some time with you.
    PETE
    Sounds perfect.
    JULIE
    I love you, dad.
    PETE
    I love you, too, sweetheart.
    Julie leans across the island, gives him a kiss and walks out of the kitchen. It's a nice moment as he stands there, thinking. A REVERSE SHOT REVEALS Pete's BARE ASS. Maya is crouched down naked next to him. They start laughing.
    PETE
    That was close.
    MAYA
    I'll get going.
    PETE
    No. Stay. I want to introduce you two tomorrow.
    Maya smiles as we... FADE OUT

Summary: Single mother Lisa takes her young daughter, Julie, to her first day of kindergarten. She watches as Julie is befriended by two other girls, Kayla and Sam. Kayla's father Mitchell and Sam's father Hunter introduce themselves and the three become close friends after seeing the bond between their children. Twelve years later, Julie shares with Kayla and Sam that she plans to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Austin on their upcoming prom night. Kayla pledges to do so as well, though on a casual basis with her lab partner, Connor. Sam, a closeted lesbian who is unsure about her feelings, also joins the pact and arranges to attend the prom with the harmless Chad. Lisa throws a pre-party for the parents and kids. The girls and their dates then head to the prom, texting each other about their sex pact. The three parents hear Julie's laptop and intercept the messages. Hunter deciphers their emoji codes and uncovers their plan. Lisa and Mitchell rush to stop their daughters; Hunter tries to dissuade them from interfering and shares his intuition that Sam is gay, but upon seeing her force herself to kiss Chad, he becomes determined to stop her from doing something she doesn't want to do. Having been told that the after-party would be at Austin's house, the parents go there but find only Austin's parents Ron and Cathy engaging in sex games. Ron reveals that the after-party is at a lake house but refuses to give the address. The trio realizes that Mitchell's wife Marcie may have it and retrieve the address against her wishes, as she supports Kayla's right to make her own decisions. However, the parents are unable to catch their daughters when the partygoers disperse to avoid the police. As the group struggles to find their daughters, it becomes clear that each parent has their own motivation: Mitchell is in denial over his daughter growing up, Hunter feels guilty for neglecting Sam during his bitter divorce from her cheating mother, and Lisa is struggling to let go of her only child who secretly plans to leave for a distant university against her wishes; Lisa is confronted with this when Julie angrily states that she's going to UCLA to get away from Lisa's clinginess. Knowing that Austin and Ron have been texting, the parents return to Ron's house to steal his phone. Encountering the couple playing a blindfolded sex game, Hunter and Mitchell are forced to play along as Lisa steals the phone, which reveals that the girls are at a hotel. There, a drunk Sam goes to bed with Chad but decides she does not want to have sex. Kayla and Connor go to bed, but she also changes her mind and they limit their intimacy to Connor performing oral sex on Kayla. Mitch finds Kayla with Connor and throws him against the wall, infuriating Kayla. Mitch confesses his struggles with her becoming a woman, his good intentions ultimately making amends with Kayla. Hunter finds Sam and they also share a tender moment, where he reveals that a good night was the best he could give her in return for his neglect. Sam comes out to her father, who is deeply moved at being the first person she told. Lisa sneaks into Julie and Austin's room and, realizing how much they clearly love each other, leaves unnoticed. On her father's advice, Sam comes out to Julie and Kayla, who embrace her and affirm their lifelong friendships. They leave Sam with her crush Angelica who shares a romantic kiss with her. Mitch, Lisa and Hunter acknowledge their own friendships have been strengthened and drink to their daughters' futures. Three months later, the parents celebrate the departure of Sam, Kayla, Julie and Austin as they depart on a road trip to drop off Austin and Julie at UCLA. As they leave, Lisa starts receiving the girls' group text, filled with plans to use drugs and have unprotected sex. The parents panic until the girls text that it was a prank, and send a final "I love you" to them.