Sitting around waiting to have seizures gives one ample time to reflect on important questions. Will this hospital stay provide the information necessary to find a more effective treatment plan? What am I doing with my life? What’s the actress who played Kimmy on Full House up to these days? Should I incorporate more patterned items into my wardrobe? Why am I normally so ungrateful for what I have?
As this last inquiry suggests, sometimes it takes being cut off from the rest of your existence to appreciate what you usually take for granted, like freedom of movement and fresh air. I would, for example, kill to be able to cook myself a real meal right now—which is saying something, considering my usual food-preparation habits.
But mostly, I’m newly appreciative of my support network. I’ve been super lucky in that my husband and/or friends have visited every single day of my stay thus far. (Keep it up, guys! Really, though, no pressure.) I recognize that not everyone in my position is so fortunate, and I am sincerely thankful. Hospitals can be isolating; seeing familiar faces makes me feel less alone while here and is a reminder of the strong ties that I have in the outside world, to which I am all-too-eager to return.
So much love.
Since I’m too tired to write more, it’s time to go back to what has become my default activity: watching reruns of nineties sitcoms. Fresh Prince, I’m grateful for you, too.