I wanted to post some pics from this weeks ultra sound but Max did not cooperate. His hands covered his face along with the umbilical cord...so no pics we did get a good shot of his foot. Maxson did pass his biophysical for the third week in a row! I thank God for Max's continued growth and presence in my life.
My doctor informed me that it is not typical for a t18 baby to be passing a biophysical with a 10 out of 10! Its funny how a statement like that can give me such hope and happiness. Usually I leave my appointments with a horrible ache in my chest...just hearing the reality from my doctor even though I already know it leaves me feeling so gloomy. I have left all my past appointments with hope sucked out of me and a dulling pain. But this appointment was different not that I didn't hear what I generally hear...Like the depressing plans and decisions needed to be made; or about planning the end of his life, granted he hasn't had his beginning yet. But just that one comment about Max doing better than what is to be expected, left me with so much hope. I left the office without fighting tears or trying to mend the ache, the irony being that this appointment I left with a handful of grieving reading material and information on planning a funeral.
Next week on Wednesday we will be meeting with some specialists in Minneapolis, they will be able or hopefully able to help us answer some questions that will guide us in our decisions for Max. It is difficult to make some of these choices with no certainty that your making the right choice. Also we will be having another level 2 ultra sound that will let us know more about Max's condition. Max had one hole in his heart, a dilated kidney, and two choroid cysts on his brain. So please pray for the healing of our son and that he keeps up his growth; both of these prayers being answered will be vital in our hopes to spend time with him.
As I said in an earlier post when it comes to planning Max's birth we are to think about what we want most for him. For example, some people want there baby baptized or want their family to spend time with the baby or to have their baby see a sunset. I have figured out what I want most for our son...Max's due date is Christmas day. Christmas is my favorite time of the year I love everything about it and everything it means. Last year I was thinking I may be pregnant on Christmas and what a gift that it would be, as we started a fertility treatment last November, well I wasn't pregnant but... Then we found out I was pregnant in April and that my due date was Christmas day; it seemed so fitting cause of all the hope I had in being pregnant the previous Christmas. I praised God on my knees for our answered prayers and thought ahead of how Christmas 2008 was going to be the best yet. So now it is that... I want Max to be in my arms and at home celebrating Christmas with his family; this is what I want most for my son, to be here on Christmas. There it is, a new prayer request. We are trying to make the best choices regarding his birth plan so this may happen but I know without the request in prayer to God it will all be in vain. Join us in praying for this request and if God willing I know we will spend the most beautiful day of the year with our son.
much love,
Trish
2 comments:
Oh how I know the feeling of wanting my baby at home for a holiday. For me, it was Easter, this past year (2008). I wasn't as specific (or at least I can't remember now) but I so wanted my baby girl to make it home for Easter, March 23rd. She was born on St. Patrick’s Day, March 17th, w/ full T18. And wouldn't you know...she made it "home" for Easter. Not our home, but Her home w/ Our Mighty Heavenly Father. Our hearts were broken and still are but we rejoiced on resurrection Sunday because I couldn’t have picked a better day to give my daughter back to her Creator. Praying that your sweet Max is home, w/ you and your family…physically in your arms for Christmas Day!
Trish, I am so glad that you wrote on my blog. It is hard to make so many of the plans because there are so many unknowns, and each case is different. Please know that if you want to talk you can call or email me. I was there just a few months ago. I know that it is hard to talk about, especially with people who have never been in the exact situation, so please call if you want to talk things through. You cannot make a wrong decision for your baby. I believe T18 babies were made to be loved on. That is there purpose, and you are doing just that.