[On a Friday, after a week of casually chatting via email]
Boy: what are you doing tonight?
Girl: I'm not sure yet. No plan right now.
Boy: I have tentative plans but if they fall through do you have any interest in getting a few drinks?
Girl: Maybe…
Boy: Maybe? Why maybe and not yes?
Girl: Not sure I care to be your back up plan.
Boy: Ahh good for you, I like that. You are not my back up plan by choice my dear. I made these plans last week but the person in question keeps waffling so I think he may end up bailing. Is it so bad that if that is indeed the case, I want to meet up with you? In reality, I want to meet up with you regardless, but seeing as I have already made plans...
Girl: Just to drag this out a little longer, if you actually wanted to meet up with me, you could have tried to make plans with me more than a few hours in advance. I'm just sayin'.
Boy: okay, my bad then...
Girl: If we already knew each other, I'm not averse to last minute plans, occasionally.
Boy: ok.
Scenario #2
[Last Monday, at the end of their second friendly internet contact.]
Boy: We should make plans then!
Girl: You better catch me now, I'm leaving town soon.
Boy: I know! Let's get coffee or a drink this week. I'm free on Thursday or Friday.
Girl: Maybe. Let me check.... Yes, Thursday or Friday would work.
Boy: Ok, let's do Thursday then. Where would you like to meet?
Girl: [Suggests a place to meet.]
Questions:
- Which scenario actually leads to making plans to meet?
- In scenario #1, do you think that the boy didn't actually intend to "meet up with" the girl? Why or why not?
- In scenario #1, why is the boy's approach to making plans particularly offensive?
- In scenario #2, why is the boy's approach to making plans particularly effective?
- In general, does the girl's attitude seem appropriate to each scenario? Keep in mind that she has met neither boy in person nor talked to him on the phone.
- How strong a role should "gut" feelings play in such scenarios?
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