The time between becoming an active family and being chosen by a pregnant mother for adoption is called your “adoption wait time,” and for many adoptive families, this wait is often one of the most stressful parts of their adoption process.
When you get chosen is ultimately up to the pregnant mother who selects you; however, there are some measures you can take to reduce your wait time.
Choose the Right Professional
Unless you personally know a woman considering adoption, you will need help finding a birth mother, and usually there is no better ally than a national adoption agency. Often, they will have very thorough advertising budgets and marketing strategies, resulting in them often working with many different pregnant mothers at any given time.
Furthermore, national adoption agencies work with pregnant women across the country, so they are not relegated to one state. And by working with many different adoption attorneys, social workers and other agencies across the country, they often have many networking opportunities for prospective birth mothers.
When deciding on an adoption professional to work with, make sure you speak with several different agencies to get an idea of how many pregnant mothers they work with at any given time, how they market and advertise their adoptive families, and how long an average wait time might be.
Remember that with some adoption professionals, the longer you wait, the longer they have to advertise your family, which could increase your overall adoption cost.
Be Flexible to Many Different Adoption Situations
Although there is no way to exactly measure the time frame of your adoption, being open to as many situations as possible means your profile will be shown to more birth mothers. If you find yourself waiting longer than you thought you would, you may want to reconsider the kinds of situations you are open to.
- Race of the baby – If you limit your preferences to newborns of a specific race, then you drastically limit the number of birth mothers who will see your profile.
- Gender of the baby – While many adoption professionals offer gender-specific adoption plans, this can also dramatically increase your wait time. First, if half the prospective birth mothers are having boys and the other are having girls, half of them you will not be eligible for. Furthermore, not every woman knows the gender of her child when she looks to match with an adoptive family, so gender-specific families would be ineligible for those situations as well.
- Medical and substance abuse history of the mother – It’s likely that you may feel uneasy working with birth mothers with certain medical histories. Speak with a doctor or an adoption professional about any medical issues that may concern you, as they may alleviate any fears you might have about a certain condition.
- Type of adoption relationship – Some adoption agencies require that families agree to at least a semi-open adoption because so few women pursue closed adoptions.
- Budget – It may be difficult to anticipate the costs of your adoption, but if your budget is higher, you will be able to accommodate a wider range of situations.
Create Engaging Adoption Profiles
The quality of your adoptive family profile plays an important role in whether you are chosen by a pregnant mother. Think of your adoption profile as your final pitch of why you are the perfect family for her child. It’s up to you to express as much of your personalities, interests, excitement and gratitude into your profile.
Another way to accomplish this is by creating your very own adoptive family video profile, which allows a pregnant mother to see you and your family in your own environment, and allows her to see how her child might be welcomed into your family
The best way to limit your wait time is to be as open-minded as possible without going beyond your level of comfort. There is no guarantee that you will find a birth mother quickly, but choosing the right adoption professional, having flexibility in your adoption plan, and creating engaging adoption profiles will give you the best chance of being selected by a pregnant mother.