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Funny story: Churches and Mosques To Be More Clearly Marked As Drunk Orders Takeaway At Mosque

Churches and Mosques To Be More Clearly Marked As Drunk Orders Takeaway At Mosque

After a man of Eastern origin yesterday walked into a chapel and ordered fish, chips and a pickled egg, calls to clearly mark places of worship were made in Scunthorpe. Last week two inebriated couples walked into Scunthorpe's Kirk St. Mosque and...
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Funny story: Reg Bond Reveals Why He Quit As Lady Gaga's Bodyguard And Went Home To Burnley

Reg Bond Reveals Why He Quit As Lady Gaga's Bodyguard And Went Home To Burnley

Although his name is nowhere near as high profile as the stars he has been contracted to protect, Burnley based bodyguard, Reg Bond has finally turned his back on the high life, and returned to the Lancashire mill town with a view to opening a fish a...
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Funny story: Three Vehicle Pile Up on M1

Three Vehicle Pile Up on M1

Police today closed of a section of the M1 due to a three vehicle pile up at junction 26. In atrocious conditions, a fish lorry from Grimsby skidded on the wet road and blocked the carriageway. A tanker carrying cooking oil from Liverpool braked but...
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Funny story: Protection Sought For Scottish Products

Protection Sought For Scottish Products

Scottish MEP's have set aside party politics to formally apply for two well known Scottish products to be given protected status in the European Union. The cross party group of MEP's have applied for Protected Food Name Status for Coatbridge Chip...
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Funny story: "Eat More Goldfish!" says Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

"Eat More Goldfish!" says Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

With our native stocks of cod, haddock and plaice in decline, celebrity chefs Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver (as part of Channel 4s Fish Fight series) have been encouraging us to eat a wider variety of fish. However, the latest addition...
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Funny story: Hurrah! It's National Chip Week!

Hurrah! It's National Chip Week!

Buoyant Britain this week celebrates National Chip Week - that is 'chips' as in deep fried potato chunks, as opposed to what our American friends call 'chips' - which are actually 'crisps.' Our chips are the kind of deep fried delicacy one might asso...
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Funny story: Horror: Oxfordshire Man Causes "Terrible Shock!"

Horror: Oxfordshire Man Causes "Terrible Shock!"

In a shock decision local Oxfordshire man John Figgis decided to have a saveloy, in lieu of his usual fish supper, late last night. Witness Mandy Simpkins, 29, explained "we were in shock! We were all stood in there queuing when John walked in. He...
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Funny story: Giant Piranha found in chip shop!

Giant Piranha found in chip shop!

Mr Syril Oilslik, proprietor of Fresh Fish & Chips Of Folkstone, had a shock when he pulled a Piranha out of his fryer. "It leapt off the scoop and went over the counter attacking one of my customers"! Mrs Edna Sproket said she had been stand...
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Funny story: Marco Pierre White Banned From Chip Shop

Marco Pierre White Banned From Chip Shop

Top telly chef Marco Pierre White has been sensationally banned for life from Seth's Chippy in Leeds Road Bradford. The ban came following a heated argument between Marco and chippy owner Seth Friar over cooking times, the quality of the produce and...
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Funny story: Britain's Top Chippy Owned And Run By A Turk!

Britain's Top Chippy Owned And Run By A Turk!

Breaking news confirms that Britain's top chippy is owned and run by Turkish fast food mogul Ali Bullo, raising questions over the future of the nation's favourite fast food fix, and whether the much loved dish will retain its unique Britishness or f...
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Funny story: Cobblers! Something Fishy In Your Chip Shop

Cobblers! Something Fishy In Your Chip Shop

Unscrupulous fish 'n' chip shop owners are fooling customers who order the nations favourite dish. You may think that you are getting prime Atlantic caught cod in batter with your chips. No, it's cobblers! To be more precise it is the Vietnamese R...
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Funny story: Nuclear sub was delivering chips

Nuclear sub was delivering chips

The Commander of Le Triomphante, a French SNLE-NG class nuclear submarine, had visited Blackpool on holiday, where he had tasted the well-known English delicacy, fish and chips. After his first bite of a real English chip he was heard to say "Mon Die...
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Funny story: Global Credit Crunch originated in Carlisle Chippie!

Global Credit Crunch originated in Carlisle Chippie!

Following lengthy investigations, the cause of the Worldwide Credit Crunch has been traced to a chip shop in Carlisle. Its been discovered that the shop's owner, Mongoe Gongoe, has been selling his chips for only 3p per bag with free ketchup! M...
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Funny story: Salman Rushdie's Mushy Peas

Salman Rushdie's Mushy Peas

Literary heavy-weight Salman Rushdie has found a novel way of fighting the Credit Crunch, following the launch of his own name brand of Mushy Peas. The food, well loved by northerner's are another string to the bow of the Midnight's Children autho...
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Funny story: Sah Finger? Gangland Boss In Amazing Career Swap

Sah Finger? Gangland Boss In Amazing Career Swap

Gangland boss, Barry "the Makerel" Morris has stunned his former criminal pals and has turned over a new leaf as a respectable restrateur in the sleepy holiday harbour town of Padstow. Speaking from his seaside Michelin starred eatery he tells us:...
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Funny story: Biofuel flight linked to "Chippy" purchase.

Biofuel flight linked to "Chippy" purchase.

The first flight by a commercial airline to be powered partly by bio-fuel is being linked to the purchase of Scotland's top chip shop.
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Funny story: Woman Performs Miracle With Large Haddock

Woman Performs Miracle With Large Haddock

A Bristol woman has astounded local people by allegedly performing a miracle with nothing more than a large haddock.
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Funny story: Simon Cowell in "I'm Bigger Than John Lennon" Sensational Outburst

Simon Cowell in "I'm Bigger Than John Lennon" Sensational Outburst

Diminutive high-waisted trouser-wearing pop Svengali, Simon Cowell, has stunned TV executives by claiming to be as big as John Lennon.
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Breaking News...

Congressman Conyers's Predatory Sexual Harassing Misunderstood

Former female staffer of Conyers reports being called into his DC office only to find him wearing only boxers. But she didn't know he was only practicing to be Chief Underpants Officer of the House.
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