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Friday, 21 October 2011

image for Revealed: British Colonel's bad hearing lead to Gadaffi becoming president of Libya
Colonel Gadaffi is dead, just like that.

It has been revealed today in the discovery of papers following the accidental murder of Colonel Gaddafi of Libya, that he wasn't in fact president of Libya at all, and has been spending the past 42 years fooling people.

Speaking from Algeria, where she has lived since long before she was born, his daughter, Aisha Aisha Allfalldowne, said that her father only became president by accident, but because he was such a sweet, kind-hearted, loving tyrant, he hadn't the heart to tell anyone, although rumour has it that he had plenty of hearts all taken from Bedouin tribal leaders who tried to oppose him in the early years.

Ms Allfalldowne said that when the British Army left Sirte in 1969, on the way out they asked a young traffic warden who was busy ticketing illegally-parked camels for the best way out of the city. As they were thanking him, the British Colonel in charge, a typical "Fnar! Fnar! Fnar!" type whose rule was not only law, but who was extremely hard of hearing, asked the Camel warden who he was.

The warden replied he was Resident Gadaffi, but mistaking the response, the British Colonel insisted he should escort the man to the Presidential Palace, shouting to one and all "I'm escorting President Gaddafi" even though Mr Gaddafi didn't actually want to go. However, arriving at the palace and seeing all the Presidential trappings available to a potential Arabian dictator - as much oil as he could drink, ludicrous amounts of towelling for his head, sand by the ton etc - he declared himself a Colonel and took over the country.

And the rest is history.

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