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(Player News) The Perilous Inquirer - FIFTIETH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE

Discussion in 'UO Siege Perilous' started by DeadBob, Jun 13, 2014.

  1. DeadBob

    DeadBob Ancient Alien
    Stratics Veteran Alumni

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    The Perilous Inquirer
    Vol 1, 50th Issue
    Friday the 13th, June, 2014

    FIFTIETH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE

    PORTENTS
    In the wee hours of this morning, I put together the 50th issue of the Perilous Inquirer on Friday the 13th during a full moon. A black cat crossed my thoughts. I watched the night through the open window in front of my desk as a meteor streaked through a display of the aurora borealis, a giant hand wrote Vote For Change across the sky in wind swept clouds and a flock of crows flew by in the shape of a middle finger. From the street below my window came the sounds of a large dog being unexpectedly struck by a larger vehicle.
    Suddenly, I had the overpowering feeling that the end was near.
    Yes, issue 52 will be our last issue. But to the very end, we shall publish only the truth, and we shall never quote out of context.

    QUOTE OF THE WEEK
    "I also have it on good authority that the Stratics mods were behind 9/11 and are heading the research on some crashed UFOs in the Nevada desert. There has also been talk that they were involved in the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in 1914, but that one seems a little far-fetched to me."
    - Hoffs, from his forthcoming book, Confessions To My Analyst.

    GOVERNORS INVESTIGATED
    - by Kattasrophe
    Governors Gooch and Kattasrohe are being investigated. Why you ask? Gooch is being investigated for the harassment of the people in Nu'Jelm and for breaking Moonglow's quarantine. Kattasrophe is charged with the murder of Moonglow citizens. Join the discussion of their actions this Sunday, June the 15th, at the Council meeting in Serpent's Hold. Get the real story!

    THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF JACK CORDWOOD
    Jack, UO Bowyer and avid hunter, was interviewed by an animal rights activist who plays on the European shard. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one that killed my brother?'"
    Jack replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away.' They are very much like animal rights activists."
    The interview ended at that point.
    Buy Jack Cordwood Bows! Shoot straight!

    HOROSCOPE
    Gemini May 21 - Jun 21
    Avoid people who find personally meaningful patterns in the movement of stars and planets.

    TRIVIA MONK
    To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
    "What was the occupation of Richard Garriott's father?"

    LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
    EM Is Anti-Family:
    Troubadour is ant-family! He scheduled a Governors' Meeting for Father's Day!!
    - Bo "Bo" Bo

    Official Response:
    Trou simply scheduled the Governors' Meeting on the best day available.
    Bo ain't the father, anyway.
    - Spokesperson, Wulf2k

    The Perilous Inquirer
    Vol. 1, 50th Issue
    3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
    News & Booze!
    Free current issues are on the "News" steward.
    Free named liquors are on the "Booze" steward.
    Back copies are free on the shop named, "Siege Droppings."
    Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
    Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
    Supplier of Red Leaves: Sara Dale
    Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

    ~sine die~
    :rolleyes:
     
    #1 DeadBob, Jun 13, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014
  2. GarthGrey

    GarthGrey Crazed Zealot
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend GoT

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    Your wit will be missed until it returns..
     
    DeadBob and IanJames like this.
  3. Victim of Siege

    Victim of Siege Crazed Zealot
    Governor Stratics Veteran Alumni Safe Haven

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    are you saying he's at wit's end Garth?
     
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