


Sort This Way
July 3, 2012 2:08 PM   Subscribe

What's the best way to show your Hufflepuff House pride? Why Lady Gaga parody videos, of course.
posted by The Whelk (53 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
I think I speak for everyone when I say: "Fuck Hufflepuff!"

And by everyone: I mean my house.
posted by Fizz at 2:18 PM on July 3, 2012


The Slytherin version is just the entirety of Pretty Hate Machine with no lyrics changed
posted by Greg Nog at 2:25 PM on July 3, 2012 [15 favorites]


(honey) badger don't care.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 2:25 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Ravenclaw song sounds suspiciously like They Might Be Giants.
posted by The Whelk at 2:40 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


"Welcome to Hufflepuff!"
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:51 PM on July 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


"I was born to behave"

*snort*
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:55 PM on July 3, 2012


I'll just drop this here... seems to sum up the Hogwarts house sorting situation pretty well. (Apologies if it's been on the blue before.)
posted by cammimmac at 3:06 PM on July 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


There is a rich and vibrant Potter Parody culture, judging by the relatively high production value of YouTube's sidebar of related videos. I appreciate that.

Potter Rock Anthem might be my favorite...so far.
posted by redsparkler at 3:17 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Isn't this kind of parody (using one IP to comment on another) essentially not allowed in the US?
posted by ODiV at 3:19 PM on July 3, 2012


No, thanks to 2 Live Crew parody is protected free speech in the US.

Otherwise Weird Al would be in Guantanamo or dead by drone air strike by now.
posted by davros42 at 3:26 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Am I the only... am I going to have to be the first... Sigh.

Yep, I'm Hufflepuff. And I'm proud.
posted by yellowbinder at 3:27 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh good, do you know where my keys are I've looked everywhere.
posted by The Whelk at 3:31 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


They're in your Quidditch robes.
posted by yellowbinder at 3:32 PM on July 3, 2012


davros42: I was thinking specifically of stuff like the parody of the OJ Simpson trial written in the style of The Cat in the Hat, which was determined not to be fair use because it did not offer commentary on the latter work.

Not that I'm suggesting anyone attempt to get rid of these. I guess no one really goes after them because they're largely non-commercial in nature?
posted by ODiV at 3:34 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


This video actually seemed to have a really high production value: I was impressed! (By Hufflepuffs, no less!)
posted by wolfdreams01 at 3:34 PM on July 3, 2012


davros has it. For the curious laymen out there, the two pillars on which fair use generally stand are Campbell v. Acuff-Rose (the 2 Live Crew case) and Castle Rock Entertainment v. Carol Publishing Group (defining in part what doesn't constitute fair use.)

Ravenclaw 4 Life!
posted by Navelgazer at 3:35 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ravenclaw 4 Life!

Nerd!
posted by The Whelk at 3:49 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


B-Lister!
posted by Navelgazer at 3:53 PM on July 3, 2012


But seriously folks, something I'd never considered before (which is odd, considering how much of my life has been spent in Harry Potter scholarship) is that the Sorting Hat is still apparently in use 19 years after the events of Deathly Hallows.

Now, the Sorting Hat clearly has a mind of it's own, and I think this can account for the discrepancies in what it means to be sorted into each house. What we know is that originally, the founders themselves were doing the sorting, with Salazar Slytherin picking out the pure-bloods, Godric Gryffindor choosing those "with great deeds to their names," and Rowena Ravenclaw choosing the smartest. Helga Hufflepuff alone is the one who said "I don't care about any of that, I want to teach anyone." Hence the misconception that Hufflepuff are the "leftovers."

In reality, the Sorting Hat shifted things a bit over time, favoring a sort of "spirit of the founders" over the original criteria. So you didn't have to be pure-blood to be in Slytherin (as Snape proves) or have "great deeds" behind you (as almost no 11-year-old would). Rather, Slytherin became about ambition and cunning, and Gryffindor about bravery. In this way, I think one can look at the attributes commonly associated with Hufflepuff - loyalty, fairness, kindness, work ethic - and reason that Hufflepuff, far from being the catch-all, is instead now the house of moral virtue.

But anyway, the Hat states explicitly that this sorting ceremony is dividing them in a way which is leading to the Wizarding community's downfall, which it almost does. And then we go into the epilogue, and find out it's still going on, unabated. Apparently nobody learned a thing.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:05 PM on July 3, 2012 [14 favorites]


Yeah, I will admit that I signed up for Pottermore and was sorted into Hufflepuff, and I'm pretty OK with that alignment. Except for the work ethic - maybe that's aspirational.
posted by muddgirl at 4:09 PM on July 3, 2012


Surely Hufflepuff produces all the celebrity chefs of the wizarding world? Or, to tie it into our previous discussion of marijuana used in cooking.... Well they do have puff in the name there.
posted by The Whelk at 4:13 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or, to tie it into our previous discussion of marijuana used in cooking.... Well they do have puff in the name there.

And huff as well. No wonder they're slackers.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:15 PM on July 3, 2012


I signed up for Pottermore and was sorted into Hufflepuff

WE MUST NOW DUEL
posted by elizardbits at 4:16 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hufflepuffs are bad at dueling and making potions. Or maybe that's just me.
posted by muddgirl at 4:21 PM on July 3, 2012


SOMEONE has to make sure things actually get done and the larder stocked and the candles jacked and the room cleared while you lot are out scheming, saving, or scryin' it's all " har har hufflepuff" until you want decent food, decent drink, or a clean set of clothes.
posted by The Whelk at 4:23 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm starting to think we should Unionize, basically.
posted by The Whelk at 4:24 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Another thing which is pretty obvious to devotees but not ever, I believe, explicitly stated is that the houses adhere to elemental divisions. i.e. Gyffindor = Fire, Slytherin = Water, Ravenclaw = Air and Hufflepuff = Earth.

This is reflected in their dorms. Ravenclaw is in the tallest tower, with windows displaying the sky. Gryffindor is built around their great fireplace, Slytherin is under the lake, and Hufflepuff built partway into the ground a la an English Basement.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:29 PM on July 3, 2012 [8 favorites]


So Korra is a Ravenclaw. Makes sense.
posted by elizardbits at 4:33 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Another thing which is pretty obvious to devotees but not ever, I believe, explicitly stated is that the houses adhere to elemental divisions. i.e. Gyffindor = Fire, Slytherin = Water, Ravenclaw = Air and Hufflepuff = Earth.

This is reflected in their dorms. Ravenclaw is in the tallest tower, with windows displaying the sky. Gryffindor is built around their great fireplace, Slytherin is under the lake, and Hufflepuff built partway into the ground a la an English Basement.


Mind = Blown
posted by Vysharra at 4:33 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


gotta get my owl

I take the Harry Potter satirical music scene has a lot of ....disposable income?
posted by The Whelk at 4:42 PM on July 3, 2012


I know there is a huge crossover between Potter fandom and like ..musical theater fandom but this is a DELIGHT A FREAKING DELIGHT
posted by The Whelk at 4:49 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


So whenever I tell my friends I got sorted into Hufflepuff, they give this 'slightly pitying' face. Then I reminded them that Tonks was in Hufflepuff. That face changed quickly. She's badass.

It's hard though, because Hufflepuff wasn't really fleshed out completely. It's just... that one house that no one really interacted with.
posted by FirstMateKate at 6:50 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Which is why fandom likes it, it's the house you can play with and makeup your own stuff about cause it is vauge and poorly defined and catch all.

Or HUFFLEPUFF: Fandom House. so many feels.
posted by The Whelk at 6:55 PM on July 3, 2012


Ok, sorry about the double post, but I must point out Navelgazer's comment. Pair that with your rundown analysis of Brave, and I really just want to carry you around in my pocket so you can talk about neat things, and shed light on all the stuff I like.
posted by FirstMateKate at 6:55 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Aww, thanks!
posted by Navelgazer at 6:57 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Someone needs to drown that fucking hat in the river, it causes nothing but angst.
posted by The Whelk at 6:57 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: I really just want to carry you around in my pocket so you can talk about neat things, and shed light on all the stuff I like.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:19 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was sorted into Hufflepuff and was so disappointed that I deleted and restarted my account, only to be placed in Hufflepuff again. I've since come to terms with it; the welcoming letter written by J.K. Rowling did a lot to put my mind at ease. I wouldn't say that I'm yet "proud" of my house, but I'm at least no longer hiding it.

(I'd still sort of rather be a Ravenclaw.)
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 7:43 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cultural Hufflepuff then.
posted by The Whelk at 7:47 PM on July 3, 2012


I can't believe I'm actually thinking this... but that needed more autotune.
posted by Blue_Villain at 8:09 PM on July 3, 2012


When I first read Harry Potter I thought I would be in Ravenclaw (because I was a know-it-all), but now it just seems exhausting - like being in high school AP again, except with all the overachievers and none of the naturally-smart-but-lazy kids like me.
posted by muddgirl at 8:45 PM on July 3, 2012


Hey now, I'm naturally-smart-but-lazy and it put me in Ravenclaw. Seems fine to me.

(That said, I wanted to be and expected to be sorted into Gryffindor when I signed up to Pottermore, but I'm happy with my placement.)
posted by Navelgazer at 9:06 PM on July 3, 2012


Also, one of my friends is smart-but-super-hard-working, and was actually summa cum laude in my law school class, and is one of the only people I've met who is a self-identified, dyed-in-the-wool Hufflepuff.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:07 PM on July 3, 2012


I tried for Ravenclaw but my Slytherin douchebaggery shines through like a dick-shaped beacon in the night.
posted by elizardbits at 9:21 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I was speaking generally, not specifically to any person. The description of Ravenclaw is pure top-AP-program, Adderall-fueled, if-I-fail-this-test-I'll-end-up-at-Brown competitiveness.
posted by muddgirl at 9:22 PM on July 3, 2012


SOMEONE has to make sure things actually get done and the larder stocked and the candles jacked and the room cleared

um hi house elves
posted by elizardbits at 9:25 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ravenclaw House, not individual Ravenclaws. I am probably a bit too tipsy to be talking about this.
posted by muddgirl at 9:27 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have long been a bit of a Hufflepuff fangirl, but I knew I'd be sorted into Ravenclaw, and indeed I was. I suspect there are a lot of Ravenclaws who make it through school without making any friends, and you'd never say that about Hufflepuff.
posted by town of cats at 11:19 PM on July 3, 2012


So since this thread has become tonight's fuel for my into-the-wee-hours nerdery, I did some searching around for more imformation on the Sorting Hat and how it makes its decisions and whatnot.

The most compelling theory I've read is that it determines things based more on what traits an incoming student values rather than what they display at that time (which, again, is eleven years old.) This makes the most sense to me.

HARRY: A toss-up between Slytherin and Gryffindor, as he truly shows about equal values for traits from both (bravery and cunning, willingness to sacrifice himself but also an uncanny ability to save his own ass, etc.) Gets placed in Gryffindor because of a strong opposition to being in Slytherin.

HERMIONE: Similar toss-up between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Seems likely that it bent the way of Gryffindor because, while she is brilliant, she kind of knows that and takes it for granted, but daring is something she values, even if she doesn't exemplify it as much at that point.

RON: Pretty immediate choice of Gryffindor. Family were all in Gryffindor. This makes sense, and I'll explain further below.

MALFOY: Instantaneous choice of Slytherin. Same deal as with Ron, in a way.

NEVILLE: Long time arguing with the hat. This, apparently, was because Neville was trying to be placed in Hufflepuff and was frightened of Gryffindor's reputation. Still, family came from Gryffindor, and the hat won out.

McGONAGALL: Was a "hat-stall," keeping the hat debating for over five minutes, between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Eventually placed in Gryffindor.

FLITWICK: Same thing as McGonagall, but with the opposite result.

SNAPE: Slytherin, though Dumbledore would later describe him as having as an adult the traits associated with Gryffindor in great abundance. However, at eleven, Snape cared most about ambition, coming from circumstances as he did and feeling a keen urge to get himself out of them in any way possible. As Dumbledore put it, tragically, "Sometimes I think we sort too early."

PETTIGREW: Gryffindor, though one might expect Slytherin, based on his behavior.

SLUGHORN: Slytherin. Makes sense, as even though he is not evil, he clearly reveres the politicians and has a knack for trading favors to get himself a comfortable position in life.

ANDROMEDA TONKS: Slytherin.

NYMPHADORA TONKS: Hufflepuff.

REGULUS BLACK: Slytherin.

SIRIUS BLACK: Gryffindor.

PARVATI PATIL: Gryffindor.

PADME PATIL: Ravenclaw.

And on and on and on.

I bring up the family stuff because it can reveal an interesting pattern. In general, most students will go the way of their parents. If what the sorting hat is looking into is what a student most values, this makes some sense. Malfoy, obviously, has been brought up with cunning, political pure-blood mania and ambition and entitlement, and thinks Slytherin is all there is. There's nothing to it. A trickier one, Ron is worried about being the first in his family to not go Gryffindor, but his reverence for that house wins out.

With Snape, as noted, the hat, which cannot see into the future, and chooses based on what qualities one most admires. Snape comes into the school seeking power, which he lacked in his horrible home life. Though he later demonstrates immense self-sacrifice and bravery, that's not where he was as a child. Similarly, Peter Pettigrew is a coward, but admired the bravery of the others he wanted to cling to so much that the hat put him in Gryffindor.

Now looking at the House of Black. Generally all Slytherins, except for Sirius. Regulus bought into the family's way of thinking from a young age, and like Snape didn't develop his bravery and spirit of sacrifice until later in life. So he went the same way as the rest of his clan. Sirius, on the other hand, was always rebellious, and presumably went Gryffindor as an unconscious "fuck you" to the folks. Andromeda Tonks was also Slytherin, presumably because like Regulus she hadn't yet broken with the family's way of thinking, which she eventually would do, marrying a Muggle. Nymphadora Tonks' rebellion, thus, is not quite as dramatic as Sirius', and requires less bravery and more "I'm just going to make my own way." Hufflepuff seems an appropriate place for her badassery.

Padme and Parvati have at least one magical parent, but seem to simply diverge in values, which isn't uncommon among twins after all.

Which gets us to the curious differences between Neville and Harry, which are important to the plot.

Harry and Neville both lose their parents to Voldemort, Harry's through avada kedavra and Neville's through torture into insanity. But it could have easily gone the other way, as both were options for the Dark Lord to "mark as his equal." Both end up living with horrible relatives. But Harry's relatives hated and feared his parents and as such he grew up knowing nothing about them. He gets a few tidbits from Hagrid, enough to make him want to be in Gryffindor, but really he's got no background. Neville, however, is brought up being told that he can't live up to his mom and dad. So while he begs not to be put in Gryffindor, because he so fears the comparison, he still values those traits more than anything.

I think the idea is that the sorting hat places you where it thinks you'll be most able to achieve your goals. And while I could go on and on some more, maybe I should stop typing for a bit.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:35 PM on July 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


Everything I see this I realise where are an entire generation of bright young things who have never know a world without Potter, and who can take obscure bits from the thing they like and make it their own.

And then share it with the world.

And I feel so terribly old.

And envious.
posted by Mezentian at 3:07 AM on July 4, 2012


So Korra is a Ravenclaw. Makes sense.

Excuse you. Korra is a Slytherin with really Gryffindor-like tendencies (seriously, she likes firebending a lot). According to Navelgazer's astute analysis, Aang was the Ravenclaw.

Or maybe the avatars are the sorting hat. Or in Sparklypoo.

/crossover Avatar/Harry Potter meta is SRS BZNS
posted by dinty_moore at 6:05 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've decided that instead of the introductory speech by the head of house, the older hufflepuffs perform this for the first years so they all realize how awesome this house really is.

Nice speeches, whatever. Hufflepuffs are the ones with the moves.
posted by dinty_moore at 6:18 AM on July 4, 2012


Ugh, I decided to go ahead and check out Pottermore and see where I would be sorted into despite knowing in my heart of hearts where I would be. Lo and behold, I am a man of silver and green, oh Slytherin how I knew you would be my home.
posted by lizarrd at 4:08 PM on July 4, 2012


« Older The Race Card Project...  |  Watch competitive eater Takeru... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
http://www.metafilter.com/117532/Sort-This-Way
www.metafilter.com
crawl=CC-MAIN-2013-48
54732
application/http; msgtype=response
sha1:JAL5MITVTV57W5OX6FFGFVRFWXTF72F6
<urn:uuid:da58c1af-fb04-47a5-8ba7-e25db54abb55>
2013-12-21T13:52:36Z
50.22.177.14
sha1:56SHNS6L5GH3LY6C5QXE55TLWYZ56A44
<urn:uuid:76875bdd-8b18-479d-92be-bb02e85069ae>
http://www.metafilter.com/117532/Sort-This-Way
length
response
<urn:uuid:ed52c9bd-9f37-4e7a-b388-b03897ce9e48>
robots: classic
hostname: ip-10-33-133-15.ec2.internal
software: Nutch 1.6 (CC)/CC WarcExport 1.0
isPartOf: CC-MAIN-2013-48
operator: CommonCrawl Admin
description: Wide crawl of the web with URLs provided by Blekko for Winter 2013
publisher: CommonCrawl
format: WARC File Format 1.0
conformsTo: http://bibnum.bnf.fr/WARC/WARC_ISO_28500_version1_latestdraft.pdf