Written by Frank Michaels
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Friday, 7 March 2014

image for Are They Really Back in the USSR?
Back in the US, back in the US, back in the USSR!

Last night on a rusting Soviet-era troop ship docked in the Strait of Kerch between Crimea and Russia, there was an unusual gathering.

Former members of the Red Army's October Banner Choir, along with hundreds of ethnic Russian Ukrainians, joined on deck of the relic to drink vodka and sing back and forth. The now much-eldered choir veterans would begin by chorusing, "Well, the Ukraine girls really knock us out. They're leaving the West behind!"

From the opposite side of the vessel, the ethnic Russians from the Ukraine replied in the same tune, "Moscow girls make us sing and shout and Georgia's always on v-v-Vlad's mind!"

Then both sides joined in, "Back in the US, back in the US, we're back in the USSR!"

Of course, one is certainly left to wonder whether due to the shutdown of incoming gas supplies from Mutha Russia, if the next line they howl might be... "Come and keep your comrade's asses warm!"

Elsewhere, back in London, Sir Paul McCartney had no comment on how the classic Beatles's tune was being used to celebrate the division of the Ukraine but one anonymous source hinted that he wasn't too happy with the muddling of the lyrics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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