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Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:32 pm
Update from the 2012 WWBN Election Newsroom...

Polls closed just minutes ago but with the expertise of the finest countermonkey's have projected a landslide win for former WWBN Mad Mad World Host Dunena Reid.

Exit poll results give a strong 80% majority result for the newcomer with some even choosing to vote for exotic animals then give a vote to Frump in what has to be his worst result ever.

You heard it here first, Dunena Reid is the new American Minister for Magic!

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Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:52 am
The Magical world today woke to a flurry of Werks and stories after last night's broadcast of Dunena Reid's Weird Weird World hinted, quite strongly that recently crowned Houglass Magazine's Person of the Year Dunena Reid, was set to enter the race for the 2012 American Magical Elections with no lesser sight then the Minister's position currently held by Ronald Frump.

Speaking to the Ministry this morning reporters where told that while some paperwork may have been received it was after the weekend cut-off and would not be looked at until the subsequent week at the earliest.. unless it had fallen on the desk of one F. Blake in which one just had to hope that it would be filed at all.

Considered a possible hoax a interview with Producer and year long associate of Mr Reid Benjamin Jefferson led to the following statement "The hell I know? Trust me man I'm usually the last to find out these things"

More on this story and other top breaking news including the protest by Interweb giants Woozle against Muggle proposed internet filtering laws, after this break.

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Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:05 pm
The Accademia Magica di Italia is proud to announce the hiring of Chudley Canons star player, Jamie Savage as its new professor of Broom Flying Instruction and team quidditch coach. Interim Headmaster Angelo Benito made the announcement at a press conference this morning. He stated that "The school is pleased and grateful that someone of Senore Savage's talent would accept a position like this. The students will benefit greatly from his expertise". Professor Savage has already begun working with the students and the team has their first game soon against Venice Magical Academy.

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Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:22 pm
Our Paris news desk reports that police in Paris have begun searching the Seine River for the body of a man who is believed to have jumped from one of the bridges in a possible suicide attempt. Reported by a party on one of the barges docked along the Seine, this raw footage shot by one of the party goers shows the man plunging into the river. No sign of his exit from the river has been found and they believe that he died on impact.

Next up is....

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Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:23 am
Yes ladies the roamers where true that none other then high flung socialite and darling of the European Ministry Fifi LaRoux has been sighted in Melbourne, Australia which has recently been named the worlds most livable city for a second time.

While none have stated what brought on the arrival of Miss LaRoux there's been no question that the world famous Hit Witch has made no secret of her visit with roamers of a behind closed doors meeting with the Minister for Magic himself before dining out at the exclusive Vue de Monde for drinks. Seemingly at home in the city Fifi underwent a tour of the Auror department before attending the midwinter launch of the Matacore 'Enchantment' line of fashion robes. Speaking exclusively to WWBN Fifi states that she was very pleased to be in Australia and would not commit to any return dates nor roamers that her visit had anything to do with attempts to influence the Australian Ministry to re-think it's ties to Ronald Frump's ministry.

Witch Weekly's exclusive Interview with the well known Hit Witch hits store shelves Monday.

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Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:56 pm
It seems that exposing the Minister of Magic's secret love shack was not enough to keep the host of WWBN's Top Rating News and Current Affairs show Dunena's Mad Mad World set for long. Now with the reveal of Pottermore the controversial host has moved to point fingers at not only the American Minister for Magic but that of a number of major Magical Ministries around the world accusing them of taking bribes to allow unfettered access to the Magical World. Outrage from the claims have lead to a call for a full investigation into Mr Reid's accusations. All Eyes are now on the Various Ministers and how they will respond to the latest revelations from the Man himself, Dunena Reid of Mad Mad World.

After the break WWBN-UK Continues it's round the clock coverage of the 2011 Glastonbury Festival, taking place at Worthy Farm in the UK where our own Cherry Clinger is keeping abreast of the top stories and gossip at iconic music festival with interviews with big names and newcomers alike in the Wrock scene including a exclusive with DJ Noiseworks and former one time Weird Sister Nathan Wright.

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Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:51 pm
"In Global News today many Muggles the world over logged on to the unveiling of 'Pottermore' last night, a new co-production between 'JK', Warner Brothers and Muggle Game Man..Man..Manufacturer Sony. Promising to give Muggles and Wizards alike a whole new experience many prominent figures in the magical world have come out damning what they see as yet another crass profit making exercise at the expense of the magical community.

One Hogwarts teacher has stated that since this 'Pottermore thing' started they have been inundated with well over one thousand owls from worried parents, former students and others wishing to know if it would mean Muggles would be allowed to study at Hogwarts or.. worse the school was to give up it's long held stance amongst the only schools to not have it's own interweb network.

While many in the Wizarding World are concerned Woozle today speaking to WWBN-Japan was quoted as "Not at all Worried" while reminding Wizards and Muggles alike that "whatever Pottermore promises to be there is no doubt that with Sony it will only be a matter of time before hackers get it".

In other news the Australian Ministry of Magic has moved to deny any connection to a self-declaired witch jailed for recklessly causing serious injury and dangerous driving. The Australian Minister for Magic was quoted as calling the woman a 'Bloody Idiot' while reminding that no matter what world one thinks they belong to, the laws of Australia still apply.

This has been Kim Sparkle for WWBN News at Five"

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Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:48 am
"WWBN Today officially announced that it has apologized to American Minister for Magic Ronald Frump for allegations made about him on flagship nightly talk show Dunena's Mad Mad World hosted on WWBN. While the Minister was brought into a furor over recent alligations surrounding his private life it was the revelation of his secret Tuscan Villa that has lead to red faces and claims to 'Sue WWBN for every knurd it has'. Amid the turmoil ratings for WWBN's radio talk show have skyrocketed making it more popular then 'Clives Charms Hour'. Speaking to the head of WWBN it was quoted that 'Whoever Dunena is they're on to a good thing, and might just be the Wizarding Worlds answer to the Muggle World's 'Julian Assange'"
In Depth Report: Dunena's Mad Mad World #3

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Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:25 am
"In local news the Victorian Ministry of Magic are continuing investigations into a alleged House Elf sighting on April 26th in Drouin, a rural town 45 minutes from Melbourne. Witnesses described two ugly children suspected of stealing sneakers and wearing odd headgear. No ministry intervention was required but a number of confused Muggles where reported at the scene.

The Ministry of Magic has issued a reminder for House Elf Owners to take care when in areas where Muggles may be present."

In Depth Report: And at last we will be free, You're a bluebird

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Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:39 pm

"Hello and welcome to WWBN News at Five, I'm Kim Sparkle and now for the headlines."

" 'No News is Good News' Is the word coming down from the Ministry and Re-it.. Re..iterated across the world. We asked The Head of Muggles United for a comment but they where unashamedly silent."

"More bulletins and the latest Quidditch Scores Right After This Break.."

No Story is Too Big or Too Small!
Post your Own News Stories!
Code:

Write Your Story (don't forget to keep it short and snappy for the camera!)
[b]In Depth Report:[/b] [url=link to source thread here (optional)[/url]

"...and in other news a happy occasion as a woman is reunited with her long lost pet Norwegian Ridgeback named Snuffles who flew off after setting fire to her house and those of neighbouring Muggles. The Woman states she is delighted but doesn't understand why her insurance premiums have sky-rocketed after what she claims was just 'a little accident"

"This is Kim Sparkle wishing you a good and safe evening."

"Goodnight."

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Post 26 on Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:44 pm

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Master Nathy had missed much of the action above as he went about defusing the engines from what otherwise would have been quite a spectacular (and messy) explosion. His guitar had been handed down from one guitarist to another alongside the secrets of how to do that really odd chord that lesser musicians would give up rather then defeat. One intense solo later Master Nathy blinked and looked down at his costume which had been artistically frayed and spray painted black to match the soot he was covered in. Blinking in momentary confusion Master Nathy shrugged and was glad to see the engines showed cool green rather then the rather nasty red 'OMG YER GONNA DIE!' blinky light. It was a job well done which was why it was all a bit disappointing when Master Nathy came back up on deck to find the Captain apparently listening to the wood of the ship while the others either stood around or where taking turns singing.

He was quite sure there hadn't been that much of it in the script and despite any attempt of prompting Master Nathy was most certainly not going to sing on any account. It was in his contract that he'd provide the sad artistic music but vocals where right out of his area. Not that there was much to turn to song anyway, he'd known Captain Marcus for as long as he remembered, sailed with him alongside his brothers and the young Sky Captain Mel in the HMS Dingy. Oh the adventures they'd had, all of which could be bought in the collectors edition purple-ray edition of My Little Pirates : The Movie. "Um Sir?" Master Nathy asked eventually as he grew bored of waiting and the sound of bubbly pop music was starting to drown out his senses with the urge to put on a pair of brightly coloured shorts and fashionable hairstyles. Clearly he was more then a bit ill from the effects of the heat and lack of food, drinks and just about everything?


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Post 27 on Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:35 am

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Things had to be taken in hand and Gunner Greta suspected she would have to be the one to do it. First, she took out her iToad and found the Speedy Tweety app. Activating it, she sent the current coordinates of the Good Ship Awesome and their desired desination, including current tonnage and availiability of towing ropes. When the fare came back, she entered the appropriate coupon codes for discounts and, with the fare down to half price, hit accept and received notice that the Speedy Tweety would arrive on time for it's first cue.

Then Gunner Greta reached for the shoulder-to-wrist Dragon Hide Gloves and took hold of Pirate Beanie, carrying him to the tub of soapy water prepared for this scene by stage crew. Now, it would be here that one would see the bravery of the good Gunner as she cleaned the black grease off of said Pirate Beanie but the WWBN censors have determined it would result in an Too Violent for any but Death Eater Viewing so we instead provide this musical interlude.



Gunner Greta survived intact, Pirate Beanie was clean and the Speedy Tweety was due to arrive shortly!

Post 28 on Tue Oct 25, 2011 5:49 am

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Imagine the rolling waves of the sea.

Imagine blue skies.

So far, so good.

Imagine a streamlined, elegant but sturdy towing vessel.

Ok this is where w run into a problem cause that's not the Speedy Tweety.

Think more like old fashioned, bought at a ship nargle market for a few hundred knuts under blue book value. Ok now you've got it.

Lady Polly had purchased the vessel with a dream to sail the seven seas. So far she'd sailed one. On a limited area. Back and forth. Towing larger pirate vessels. But she was sailing so she was happy. Plus this way, she was still near her friends at Great Ocean Road, especially the lovely Lady Tiffany who was not only her friend but her mentor on all things of fashion. Lady Tiffany ran the local Pirate cake shoppe at Great Ocean Road. When the alert went off on her Honeyberry Curve, Polly made notes of the location and took off, arriving just in time to hear the final notes of the musical interlude.

"Good Ship Awesome, ahoy!" she called out, "You called for a tow in to Great Ocean Road?" With that, she levitated the tow ropes up to the crew to attach and once done, pulled the pirate ship back to the docks at Great Ocean Road.

Post 29 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 8:38 am

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Ianto stood on deck great full there were no sharp implements near the captain when he asked the dum question . ianto hatted this point in any movie the flashback section with musical interludes ianto hatted the past and very thing in it and he was the would worst singer so you can imagine the relief when the speedy tweety arrived just as it was his turn to sing or what not.
Ianto screed across the debt to the morring lines to help tie off the ship for a tow to the great ocean road.
where ianto hoped there was some honey rum and tine away for all this singing it was to drive a man to drink wait he did drink so what did it drive him to, drink more that right drink more
now if only there was more rum or hell he would settle for a beer right now tho it was not very pirate like to be seen with beer but really what was with all the singing
"we'er not in a musical ya know" Ianto mumbles as he tied a line off to the ship


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Post 30 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:48 am

Born in Australia Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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While his wife was spruking the latest adverts for the Speedy Tweety Captain Marcus was rather concerned about the moral of his crew. They certainly where a dour bunch and the fact that the Pintmaster was calling their doom was not to be discounted. "We're not all gonna die.. some of us are required to be horribly maimed remember?" Captain Marcus reminded the Pintmaster before realizing that said prospects where not all that much better. "Eh nevermind.." he stated before waiting for his wife to finish her lines so that he could do his dramatic 'faceslap' moment. Why it was important he didn't know but he was sure as hell glad when the flashback moment came to a end. "Right.. enough of that then.." Marcus said dragging himself back to his feet and rubbing his cheek. "Mental note.. don't do that again.." Marcus had just remembered the first mate's 'accident' last year.. eww and he'd been rubbing his face right on that spot too! Stretching before putting his hat back on Captain Marcus grinned at there was a voice.. Running over to the side of the deck he was a bit disappointed to find that unlike the adverts the Speedy Tweety wasn't quite the 9 deck,3547 capacity luxury liner that he'd seen in the adverts.. but then again on the plus it was probably much less likely to strike a unlikely iceberg and sink as well.

Sticking his head over the edge he bellowed down a reply to the owner of the Speedy Tweety "Yarr.. indeed we did ask for a ride Missy.. Polly.." Captain Marcus was trying it hard to refrain from the 'Missy Polly had a Dolly' line due to them not owning any copywrite for that old ditty... that the First Mate was far to young to hear the additional lines about what kind of sickness the Dolly had and why Dolly's should always remember protection when going from one port to another. While the tune was rather infectious he did have to agree (much as he hated it) with the Bildge Rat. "Yeah.. he's got a point guys.. can someone check the scripts again because I'm sure this part about the big dance number with Elephants is way out of budget.. I mean I didn't even think they had scuba gear that big?" There was a pause as a stagehand arrived to check over that particular element of a script. With a nod it was agreed that the song numbers where to be cut to a bare minimum. Which was lucky because with Sky Captain Mel on the cast there was no question heads would roll if anyone dared trying to make her sing along to 'I am a very model of a modern feminist symbol, I'm not a stereotype of the males massive-ego' and soforth.

There was however one minor issue as Captain Marcus left the others to hook up the robes and see over the HMS Speedy Tweety bringing them into land. You see Honey wasn't the cheapest habit for a Pirate to get into, and with the prices skyrocketing as supplies ran out well... the crux of the matter was that 50% discount or not he sure as hell didn't have enough pieces-of-eight to cover it.. even broken into pieces-of-sixteens wasn't going to cover it. So it was that glancing around to see that Lady Polly wasn't looking Captain Marcus first went to his wife and then the First Mate to spread the word. "Psst.. okay so we don't actually have any gold to cover the tow.. so soon as we get to port we're gonna have to do the old runner.." because they weren't a bunch of dirty untrustworthy pirates if they weren't out to rip someone off. It was basically their job description after all!



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Post 31 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:58 pm

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"Thank you young sir," Lady Polly called up to the pirate who began tying off the tow ropes. Once he assured her they were done, she cast a few securing charms so that the ropes would not slip off en route to the Great Ocean Road docks as well as a levitation charm on the ship itself to make it lighter and easier to tow. "Ready?" she called out and when given the go ahead, shifted the Speedy Tweety into first gear and slowly began the trek back to the docks. As the ship made its way and she was sure all was undercontrol, she turned back to the Good Ship Awesome and called out to the captain. "Ahoy, Captain Marcus? Just want to let you know the tow is already paid for. Pirate Queen Mum has covered it and 'politely requests' (read that get your ass there or else) your presence at the Super Secret Pirate Council meeting. She said just follow the neon signs to the location." With that, she went back to navigating the Speedy Tweety and it's tow.

Post 32 on Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:31 pm

Born in Australia Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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Australian Institute of Advanced Magical Learning
Gippsland Grammar School for Young Witches
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With the plan in place there was nothing to do but wait and watch, Captain Marcus glanced across at his crew as the ship moved forward. It was only a matter of time before they leaped into action. For the meantime however he rather enjoyed the view of watching the little ship, how it managed to pull the entire bulk of the Good Ship Awesome was beyond him, probably some kinda magic which he as a proper Pirate Captain never did get involved in. It just wasn't as easy to get respect when folks knew you went about waving your wand at strangers. All well and good when you where young but there came a point where a Captain had to decide which road he was on... not that oceans actually had roads or anything. In truth they hadn't managed to do any real pirating in weeks, and he was getting that urge to do something offensive and up-the-nose of the ruling class.

So nothing was worse then hearing Lady Polly call up that it was a pre-paid tow. Curse it! and to make matters worse Queen Mum Doris was behind it all. Captain Marcus groaned, he hated meetings... all that tedious talking and minute taking and votes and yarrs. You'd think that for a bunch of dirty Pirates they'd have figured out a less civilized means of doing things but it seemed they had no such luck. "Aye aye" Captain Marcus just said sarcastically, he just knew there was going to be a platter of biscuit assortments and bad grog for all his luck.

Turning back to his crew he put the word out "Right you lot! First Mate you're with me.. rest of yer it's shore leave.. you lot all know what that means.. steal everything that's not nailed down.. and if it's nailed grab those as well.. scare the women and children.. raid the supermarket and most important of all don't get caught!" Captain Marcus eyed the smallest member of the crew especially at those words. "If I recall right we meet back here at the start of chapter four". As he'd talked the scene had changed, seagulls overhead as the port came into view, "Woa.." there was a lot more Pirate Ships in port that he was rather embarrassed to see the Good Ship Awesome out classed in such a way. But that's what happened when you expanded the series to let more folks in, people didn't seem to think the old' ship was good enough that they had to go on making bigger and better ones.

There was however one ship that very much was not there. "Right.. to the pub" Captain Marcus said.. too lazy to wait for the plank to be put out he grabbed a rope and swung down.. sure that at any moment he'd catch sight of the white not-at-all-footwear-resembling ship. But even as he held the door open for his sister before stepping inside the pub. He noise hit him first, as did the feeling of nostalgia that the pub never seemed to change no matter how long it had been since they had last made port it was still the friendly vibe of a place where everybody knew your name.. and probably how much you owed on the bartab without ever planning to pay. It seemed that the meeting was already in order, Captain Marcus eyed off the other Captains trying to spot Doctor Ethan and Sky Captain Mel amongst the bunch of usurper Pirates. Most of all he wished to avoid Pirate Queen Doris.. because there was nothing worse then having to face someone after they'd bailed you out of a scrape.



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Post 33 on Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:25 pm

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It was the best of times.

It was the worst of times.

Well, really it was only the worst of times when the lovely Sky Captain Mel remembered that thieving varmints had stolen her ship, the HMS Enterprise. Ethan hoped they found it soon so that it would just be the best of times. At least, they still had plenty of jam fancies thanks to his sister Lady Emma, the Missing A Ship Ship's Cook. Since Ethan was the ship's doctor but the ship was missing, he had been filling in time and earning funds to keep them comfortable by returning to the doctor's practice he had at Great Ocean Road during the day and at night and weekends, was the piano player at The Golden Honeypot Pub.

Yes, currently, It was nine o'clock on a Saturday. The Pirate crowd shuffled in. There's an old man sitting next to them, makin' love to his honey and gin. He says, "Ethan, can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete when I wore a younger man's clothes."

La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

It was on the last dum that Ship's Doctor Ethan looked up to see Captain Marcus and the Good Ship's Awesome's First Mate. At least he thought it was, though it was hard to tell for all the bee stings.

"Aye, Captain," he called out, the player piano continuing the music while Ship's Doctor Ethan went over to greet them. "Ye be here for the Secret Council's Secret Meeting at the Secret Lair, just follow the neon signs?"

Post 34 on Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:42 pm

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Pirate Marty couldn't believe his luck when he was hired on as the Chief Science Officer of the HMS Enterprise. The Enterprise was legend among the pirate brethren as the top of the line, state of the art ship of the century. But then, he could believe his luck because the ship was missing and so far, he had not had a chance to sail a single mission on her. He still counted himself lucky though because he was able to continue to carry on his trade in the town for wages until such time as they did recover the ship. Pirate Marty had no doubts that the ship would be recovered and in his spare time,
he was doing what he could to try to locate for Sky Captain Mel by trying to pick up any signals that came from the ship's equipment.

For now, he was sitting in a corner of the Golden Honeypot Pub with ale and the recent edition of Pirates' Science Methods.

Post 35 on Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:13 am

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Waiting was for the birds and Chloe was no bird! But she wondered in her odd little way if that's what made Speedy Tweety take such a time to get there. But it was a little fun once the wait pretty much ended. Mostly when it clicked in her brain as well that embarrassing accident she had last year. It still made her face go red over time when she gave it some thought but... there was just something funny about the terribly grossed out expression the Captain had.

Anyway, Sweety Tweety did arrive soon and that was awesome. Chloe was a bit surprised that her captain brother actually agreed with the Bilge Rat's complaints. Were goats actually flying now? Actually, now that she thought about it, it sounded really cool. She twirled to see if Bertrand was already up in the air with his wandering around. But oh wait... nope. Still on the ground. Nuts. They could have had so much fun if goats could fly.

Normal days, Chloe wouldn't have minded doing a runner. That happened a lot. But she was way too sore to be running! So her face actually went a bit pale at the thought of doing so. Aww man! Of course she nodded loyally and all. Couldn't let her brother and the crew down. But oi, this was going to hurt.

Fortunately, it ended up not being an issue. Their tow was prepaid? Yes! Oh thank goat, she wouldn't have to try and sprint with these injuries. With her luck, she might have hurt herself worse or something. Captain Marcus seemed disappointed and Chloe tried to show sympathy even though inside she was singing with relief and all. But there was enough of that because now they were at port and it was time for other things.

Like getting off the ship. First Mate Chloe was rather surprised that she would be traveling with Captain brother. She wondered if he was taking her to a doctor. Boy, she hoped. At the moment, she was worried about how the hell she was getting off this thing. Swinging like her Captain? Bahahahahahahaha! No. She'd just have to be boring this once and wait for the ship to stop so she could carefully walk down. And that's just what she did. Cautiously walking down the plank, whimpering every few moments or so.

'Twas a slow walk, it was. Chloe hated that Marcus was faster than her. She liked walking by his side. But at least he didn't leave her behind or anything. Once they got inside, Chloe immediately plopped down. She was resting and that was that.
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Post 36 on Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:51 pm

Born in Australia Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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Australian Institute of Advanced Magical Learning
Gippsland Grammar School for Young Witches
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Famous Last Words : if i don't have at least three peoples trying to kill me at any point in time i'm not doing my job
Pet/Familar : Errol
It was a good thing that Captain Marcus had walked the path up to the pub from the ship many a time before. Often roaring drunk and just trusting that his feet would know where to go. Either way he waited on the jetty while the plank was plunked and resisted in the urge to have a few photos taken of the piece of wood well.. planking as only a experienced bit of log could. He felt a strong jab of sympathy as his sister eased her way along the plank, the pair walking slowly due to the first mates injuries. Captain Marcus had to admit that those stings looked mighty painful. "Don't worry.. soon as we find Doc he's sure to sort you right out.. best Surgeon in all of The Great Ocean road and all that.. or your money back even" Captain Marcus looked thoughtful for a moment "Not that we have any bloody money of course.. but we're Pirate eh?" He gave his sister a wide smile, trying to reassure her that everything would be just fine as he waited for her to go inside the Pub before following her. It was noisy with the sound of the excess crew from all the other ships who had chosen to make the most of the TOP SECRET MEETING to get a bit of the old drinking-fighting-writhmatic in. Captain Marcus hadn't seen the place so busy in ages.

"Hey Doc!" Captain Marcus shouted above the din at the man sitting at the piano got up to come greet them. Captain Marcus had to stare a bit at the change, was it just him or was the good doctor looking a little more filled out since last time? Then again he could hardly talk, last film he'd spent half the time lurching about and trying not to have any limbs fall off. "Yarrr..yeah.. the meeting.. everyone keeps reminding me of that" Captain Marcus muttered in annoyance. He could just see the agenda now, all written up with dot points and indexes.. a small shudder of revulsion passed over him. "But actually I'm here for me First Mate.. she had a bit of a run in with a swam of Killer bees.. " Marcus explained as his sister had already found herself a seat. Captain Marcus didn't wish to leave her alone but he knew the Doctor was a good man.. which reminded him that there was another pressing thing that had been bugging him for all for half a hour. "Oh.. by the way Doctor.. you wouldn't have happened to see Sky Captain Mel would you?" Captain Marcus asked, it wasn't like her to not turn up when they where stranded and offer some kind of genius solution like talking the parking break off. Sometimes it did rather annoy him that Sky Captain Mel seemed to know how to run his ship better then he did.

"Guess she's at that stupid meeting.." Captain Marcus muttered to himself as behind them the door to the Pub swung open, a figure stepping into view.. Captain Marcus had to stare at the blond haired woman, she was wearing a skirt.. but most of all she was carrying a baby.. this could. not. be Sky Captain Mel of the HMS Enterprise who had been voted #1 of most inspiring female lead characters for her role in Pirates I and II? No matter of evil could ever turn the fiercely independent Captain of the most advanced ship in the fleet into....... this??
It was on that bombshell that Captain Marcus just looked slackjawed, no way was this his old friend. It had to be some kind of mistake. "Mel? What happened?" Captain Marcus asked somewhat afraid of what answer could have lead to such a radical change. The Sky Captain Mel he knew would have never given up flying, not for anything.



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Post 37 on Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:56 pm

Born in Australia Halfblood - A Witch or Wizard with a mixture of Pure and Magical Blood
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Sky Captain Mel had many times cursed the day her ship had come into contact with the sickly sweet island of candy. It seemed that the island had been cursed with a run of bad luck that had started the day her Quartermaster had disappeared and much of their rum soon with it. The HMS Enterprise was still declared missing, more for the fact that while she'd been able to triangulate a position thanks to the pompom navigational software the sad fact was that the amount of high-octane honeyrum required to get the ship back into the air was well beyond any known to exist since the dreaded honey famine had meant that the wells and rivers had all dried up. So it was that with her crew disbanded Sky Captain Mel had done what all pirates did these days and turned to the internet, her cache of booty containing everything from the complete Seawitch collections to all five-hundred episodes of Who's Leg is it anyway? Either way it was getting late and Doctor Ethan had not yet returned home to their humble house, the contents of which was in rather disarray due to Sky Captain.. or how should we the Captain Formally known as Sky Captain Mel chasing and swatting the multiplying letters reminding her that she was to attend the super-secret Captain's Meeting which glowed a bright neon pink on her generally-accurate-positioning-device.

It was becoming clear that Pirate Queen Doris was not going to take No for a answer. Sky Captain Mel sighed, carefully she wrapped up her greatest treasure and gave her a kiss on the head before slipping a bag of loot over her shoulder and going out into the night. For a plot crutch Sky Captain Mel was more then a bit attached to her daughter and liable to threaten anyone who suggested it would be wiser to cut the child from the script to ease up the budget and insurance constraints. It was quite a nice night, the stars had come out to inspire artists to paint swirly dots. The continuity department would have pointed out the lack of logic seeing that it was daytime just a few moments ago but sunsets where short..or long depending on the narrative required and everyone knew that you couldn't have a big inn scene in the middle of the day. So it was then as Sky Captain Mel stepped into the Honey Pot Pub, looking around for the familiar face of her friends and that of her love, the Doctor Ethan.

What she didn't expect was to come up against her former crewmates. "Captain Marcus.. First Mate Chloe? My Goats what happened to you?" Sky Captain Mel asked as young Ashleigh caught sight of her Daddy and made a slight 'voop voop' noise. Yes she took after her Dad all right. At Captain Marcus' question however Sky Captain Mel grew a bit cranky. "Well after those fools stole my ship what was I supposed to do? Everyone knows that if you're a main female character and meet the love of your life there's nothing left but to retire and have babies" Mel sighed as she patted Ashleigh's head gently, it wasn't her fault that the writers couldn't think of a more original way to deal with the fact that such cliche's where always required. "Anyway.. I'm into downloads now.. you guys want any movies? ..or music, software.. " Sky Captain Mel looked both ways "or maybe....pictures of kittens with misspelled captions?" Yes, for some reason they had always been one of her biggest stocks in trade.



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Post 38 on Sat Nov 05, 2011 6:10 am

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Quartermaster Gman had been visiting another establishment in town that was owned by the lovely Lady Tiffany, who he had gotten to know quite well since they had been stuck at Great Ocean Road without the ship. However, his visit had been interrupted by a message from the Pirate Queen Mum to get the Captains moving to the meeting. Knowing better than to dare not honor a request from the Queen Pirate Mum, or as she had been known when he was a wee young pirate learning the family business on her ship, She Who Must Be Obeyed Immediately Or Your Arse Was Grounded!

Not that she could really ground the crew of the HMS Enterprise any more then they already were. But Quartermaster Gman knew better than to cross her. If she couldn't ground you, she'd find something worse. So it was he headed to the Golden Honeypot Pub with a box for Sky Captain Mel from Lady Tiffany and which he presented to her as soon as he walked into the pub and saw her standing there. "Sky Captain Mel," he greeted her, handing the box to her, "Lady Tiffany said that you will be please do know the cake is not a lie. It is your favorite as well." Pulling a slip of parchment from his vest pocket, he passed it to her as well. "Also, here is her download order and payment will be made shortly through her PiratePal account."

Hearing a delighted squeal, he turned to see his godpirate, the Lady Ashleigh giggling as her Daddy was looking over some seriously impressive bee stings on First Mate Chloe from the Good Ship Awesome. "I'm glad you both are here," he told the two Captains. "Pirate Queen Mum wanted me to remind you about the meeting." Sure he knew this was probably the next in a long line of reminders but he'd rather face Gladdos than an irate Pirate Queen Mum.'

Leaving the two captains to make their way to the meeting, Quartermaster Gman took a package of coffee beans over to Science Officer Marty who was working to make a substitute fuel for the HMS Enterprise so they could at least bring the ship back to port until the honey crisis was resolved. The Science Officers latest experiment was coffee beans, pepper up potions and roasted hatch peppers.

Post 39 on Tue Nov 08, 2011 11:48 am

Born in England Halfblood - A Witch or Wizard with a mixture of Pure and Magical Blood
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Jamie had been in port for weeks he was one of the first ship to run low on honey and he and his crew went to port for more only to find that the rivers were running dry and that there was no more to be found and no way to make the dragon cat go with out it.
the meeting of the secret pirate council had been called and he was planing on going a soon as he could find his most trusted advisor his soothsayer Dunena that man had the strangest name ever but maybe not for a soothsayer but Dunena had never been wrong he had told the captain himself that there was a great evil coming just before the honey went away and he was right.
Dunena was usually in the Honeypot pub as it was the best place to get a drink and well other things too that the soothsayer said he needed to do what he did best.as he approached the pub he past the dock were it was clear that the good ship awesome had been towed in which meant that it was most likely out of petrol to like us all well the dragon cat had some honey which Jamie was keep for a emergence not that he had enough to get back from were ever he went.
Captain Jamie entered the honeypot and there was group people just standing around talking (not that there was much else to do but still pirates did just talk)
Jamie noted that some of the ill fated Enterprise crew were there and some new capt he had not meat must be the awesome captain and his crewman umm woman what ever he was walking passed when the talk turned to the meeting of the secret council.
"Yep must go talk about going no were" Jamie mumbled as he pass and stopped to look about for Dunena who he spotted in the corner with an ale.
"Dunena get over here we have to be going" capt Jamie yelled hopping he would just hand up and do as he was told for once in his life.


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Post 40 on Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:04 pm

Born in The United States of America Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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Dunena Reid had been a soothsayer his whole life, his mother was one on the Stargazer before it was lost many moons ago. Dunena was drinking an ale as per usual in the Honey Pot, The Dragon Cat at been in port for many months since the honey shortage had started he has for scene the darkness and evil coming he had told his captain but still they ended here in port with nothing to do but chase women, drink and well get smashed as he pleased with nothing to do he was often here the Honey Pot Pub. There were newcomers in today probably one of the last ship to moor in the port how the had stayed in the air was beyond even his skills to tell although he did get a icky feeling when he tried to work it out so Dunena had decided t just let it go.
It was as he ordered his next drink when his Captain Jamie the man called him from across the way.
"Man I just got a drink and there no rush some people haven't even left to go yet" Dunena was well aware that the other Captains on the room were all to busy to go to the meeting right now the Doc was with one of them now.
"so get over here and have an ale" Dunena was the man on the dragon cat he made all the calls Jamie just was there to give the orders and that the crews crap when things got bad like now.


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Post 41 on Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:03 am

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Chloe was almost embarrassed. And it took a lot to embarrass her, usually. But the way Mel shouted about her bee stings made her incredibly self-conscious. "Bloody giant bees." She mumbled, her face in the table, muffling her voice. Oh yeah... this was a bit humiliating. At least these were the bees who didn't leave the stingers in. I mean, on the one hand, it sucked they wouldn't die 'cause they totes deserved death stinging her! But imagine how much worse it'd be if she had all these stingers. She'd be like a porcupine. A human porcupine. And she wouldn't have been able to sleep. She'd have had to stand up like a horse all night...

Yes, quite rough. Chloe took all these thoughts and let herself sulk because she still ached. Where was the doctor? And why wasn't he helping her?

She didn't look up for one second until she heard Mel mention cats with bad spelling. Then her head snapped up in surprise and she grinned. "Kitty pictures with horrible misspelling? Do you have any now?"

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Post 42 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 5:14 am

Born in Australia Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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Captain Marcus was too busy staring at his former crewmate to really notice much else going on "B...b...baby??" he said pointing in horror at the child currently making odd noises and gurgling happily at the attention of the crew. Was he the only one having trouble believing this? Apparently so. Captain Marcus may not have been as bright as Sky Captain Mel but he knew when to shut his mouth and listen, even if it was just so that he'd have a better chance of knowing when to run and hide before the irate Sky Captain took revenge upon the world in general. "Yeah.. sucks.." Captain Marcus just said with a nod to agree with his former crewmate, not daring to venture into pointing out that at least she hadn't been turned into a zombie and peed on. No it seemed that short straw was his alone.

"So what's eh it's name?" Captain Marcus asked and then took a quick step back in case someone was feeling stabhappy. Thankfully Gman the former Gunner arrived with a box containing Delicious and Moist cake that was most certainly not a lie. Pity that it wasn't for him. The Captain sulked and scratched his head as he thought over Sky Captain Mel's offer.. it was a bit embarrassing what with his sister around to overhear "Um yeah well.. mumblemumble..bee..documentaries?" a blush creeping over his face, but what without honey they had to find something to spice up things in the bedroom after all. With yet another reminder that they where no doubt late Captain Marcus rolled his eyes "Yar, I know.. ye take good care of me First Mate Doc... C'mon Sky Captain Mel we've got a meeting to go to" rolling his eyes he waited for his mate before the pair made a rather reluctant progress towards the top secret lair of the Pirate Captains Meeting. Free Tours Daily between 9-5 group booking available on request.

"Fine we're here.. so whats the big deal!?" Captain Marcus shouted out as they walked though the door and into the... secret lair... of the Top Secret Pirate Meeting. It all seemed rather pointless to him, the honey had run out and looking around the room it seemed they where all in the same room so to speak.. "We've got no honey, no honey rum and not even any money since the pillaging route is hard to do when there an't nofin to pillage." he said before flopping down in one of the uncomfortable meeting room chairs to sulk and draw nasty pictures of whoever happened to be cheesing him off at the time. Captain Marcus really was not a fan of these meetings at all. He wanted to be off adventuring not having to read the agenda that had been handed to him when they'd arrived. Reading wasn't proper pirating, everyone knew that.



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Post 43 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:36 am

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Sky Captain Mel winced as First Mate Chloe explained what had happened "ouch.. " Giant bees most certainly did not sound like fun, more a reminder of why she had gotten out of that business the moment her contract had come up for renewal. It wasn't to say that she didn't miss it though. Despite all the countless damning reports from the Film and Video council there just wasn't the same thrill in being a modern day pirate when compared to the wind in her hair, sky below the keel and bullet to anyone who dared mutter a mention of sprinkles in her presence. Maybe that was why she found herself looking wistfully out to sea, or why she had continued to keep in touch with her crew for the day when hopefully the skies would open and rain honey like it used to in the old days...well at least according to the one old man who swore that such was common back in 1706'

It seemed Captain Marcus hadn't changed much, "yes.. baby" you'd think that after all the press about the birth of Sky Captain Mel and Doctor Ethan's daughter he'd have at least paid some attention. It was just like him, out at sea while everyone else was getting on with their lives. "Her name is Ashleigh and if you say one more word about it I will quite happily run you though" Ashleigh giggled at the threat but Sky Captain Mel was deadly serious. Turning as the door opened Sky Captain Mel's eyes immediately focused on the box in the hand of her Quatermaster "I know what you're going to say and I'm not going!" Sky Captain Mel insisted crossing her arms as much as was possible with a baby in them. Alas it was too late, the meme had been planted, the fact that it was her favourite.. right down to the extra candy coated peanut butter pieces, Shaped like fish.

Taking the piece of parchment she tucked it down her shirt before trying to hide a snicker at Captain Marcus' request. "I'll see what I can do" she just said before digging in her bag to pull out a cheaply printed bundle of parchments with '1001 Cutz Kitteh's' and handing it to her "Just between us girls" she said giving her a wink before her eyes setteld again on that cake box. Damn, her only hope was that nobody else knew that she could be way led so easily by something so delicious and moist. "Fine.. but I'm taking the cake with me" she said exchanging Ashleigh with her Godpirate for the cake of all cakes. Summoning a folk she waved the others goodbye before following on behind the Captain Marcus as she enjoyed the fruits of her spoils. "Mmmmnumnum...soooMoist!" yeah it was awhile till anyone would be getting sense out of her as she followed Captain Marcus into the meeting and sat down to cheerfully finish her cake as the introductions where made. "Youknow Captain Marcus.." Sky Captain Mel finally said as she licked frosting off her fork. ".. one thing that's been bothering me.. just how did you get the Good Ship Awesome to keep flying all these months?" It hadn't been on her mind due to her of course being retired from that dangerous and generally silly line of work, but now that she was here it did seem rather odd that while they had all been grounded for months on end it was only now that the Good Ship Awesome had joined them.



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Post 44 on Mon Nov 14, 2011 7:55 am

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Science Officer Marty had signed on to the crew not realizing they had no ship and once they did find it, not having the fuel to get it back to port. So it was he had been researching various substitute, ecologically sound fuels for the HMS Enterprise since he was hired. So armed with copies of Pirates' Science Methods and Most Potente Potions, Science Officer Marty set to work to find an alternative fuel for honey.

So far the attempts read like a varied menu:

Caviar/Tabasco/Beguiling Bubbles Draught - broke down too fast
Grated carrots/salsa verde/Burning Bitterroot Balm - gelled at higher temps
Crema/jalapenos/pepperup potion - good spark but not conductive enough

and on and on the list went with each one being crossed off with notes as to why it failed. However, he had found that the pepper up potion seemed to be the right ingredient. Coffee beans seemed to work well too. Now it was just finding the right addition to give it enough combustive quality to power a ship the size of the HMS Enterprise. He had diced and was adding the hatch peppers to the mix now.

BAM!

Smoke rose from the table he sat at as he smiled. "Quartermaster Gman, sir, I believe I have found an alternative fuel," he told him as he quickly wrote a note to the Sky Captain and sent his parrot off to deliver it.

Post 45 on Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:11 am

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Pirate Queen Mum Doris paced the conference room at the Secret Pirate Headquarters located just east of the inlet, follow the neon signs to its top secret location. Things were not good. Not good at all and she was waiting for the rest of the council to arrive. Documents lay on the conference table at each seat. Copies for each captain that was coming -- Captain Marcus of the Good Ship Awesome, Sky Captain Mel of the HMS Enterprise and mum to the most adorable great niece a Pirate Queen Mum could ask for, and Captain Jamie with probably his soothsayer following of the Dragon Cat. Three copies of the documents she had received and gone over herself before calling this meeting. The situation was dire and they had to find a solution to this before it was too late.

Seeing two of the captains walk in, she greeted them. "Captain Marcus, Sky Captain Mel," her voice official and firm. "Where is Captain Jamie?" she asked.

Post 46 on Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:10 pm

Born in England Halfblood - A Witch or Wizard with a mixture of Pure and Magical Blood
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Capt Jamie The Savage downed the last of his Ale and turned to his good friend Dunena
"So we should go the others have left" jamie watch as Dunena finsh his drink passed the glasses to the attractive bar girl gave her a kiss and ant to stand and then fell back down. this was never good because rather to drunk or had just seen something about there fates.
"Something wrong Dee?" jamie asked the soothsayer as he circled around the table to come up on dunena's other side
"somethings about to go bang" Dunena answered him with a far away look on his face.
"Let me help you up and lets get to the meeting or the only thing going bang will be us under Pirate queen's Guns " Jamie grabbed dunena by the Arm pit and heaved him up to a standing position and began half walking dunena more dragging Dunena to ward the 'top secret location' to get the information Jamie new was the end of Pirate kind as he knew it.
"come on man help me out here" Jamie begged Dunena as he was almost at the meeting.
"If we going there like this we are most certainly dead men" Jamie hoped this would make his first mate and soothsayer walk thro the doors and fall in to a chair.
It seamed to work as Jamie felt the lighter as Dunena stood up
They entered the meeting room to see Sky capt mal the capt of a missing ship and Capt marcus of the good ship awesome.
the walked to the space were there were two chairs and sat as Dunena did the same.


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Post 47 on Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:11 pm

Born in The United States of America Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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Dunena was Just finished his drink and gotten a rather passionate kiss from the Waitress when he went to stand when he fell back as a large flash of light went across his eyes almost missed Capt jamie question about being alright when he answered
"somethings about to go bang" Dunena was sure of that but what and when he had no idea he really should lay of the drink and the drugs it call see a lot better with out them
Jamie was saying that they had to get to the meeting or it would be them but he could not get himself to stand up
Capt jamie grabbed him by the arm and started to drag him to the meeting dunena tried to help by walking but was making a mess of it.
as they goy closer jamie almost begged him to walk in there under his own power and not be dragged
"come on man help me out here…If we going there like this we are most certainly dead men"
Dunena forced him self to walk the entered the meeting jamie made straget for the vacant chairs and Dunena followed
Dunena simply sat and the answered a question that he and jamie never heard
"WE are here now" Dunena was nothing if not good at his job, well most of the time, ok some of the time, ok alright mostly never


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Post 48 on Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:30 pm

Born in Australia Pureblood - A Witch or Wizard with All Pureblood Ancestors usually because of Purest Values against Intermingling with Muggles etc.
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Captain Marcus twitched involuntarily at the official and firm voice of Pirate Queen Mum Doris. It was a voice that had the power to make even the most unkempt ruffian hide their hands and look each way lest they be told to sit up straight, knees together, chin up and pay attention. It seemed odd but Captain Marcus had never really liked the whole 'Captaining' part of being a Captain, he much preferred the drinking and adventuring to telling folks what to do and had it not been for the fact that he hadn't seen his friends in quite a while and dreaded the prospect of becoming 'landbound' Captain Marcus would have turned his ship right around to sail as far as the horizon to be away from Pirate Queen Mum Doris and her paperwork.

It was easy enough to be distracted though by the sight of Sky Captain Mel demolishing her cake.. Captain Marcus had attempted to slice a bit off one edge but it was only the finely horned reflexes that saved him from getting a dagger in the stomach from the possessive Sky Captain. "No clue Mum... probably the Pub.. youknow where they have drinks and dancing and fun" Captain Marcus replied pushing it for all it was worth against the authority figure that was Pirate Queen Mum Doris Type Person Who Shall Not Be Crossed....and all that.

As per the rules of comedic storytelling who should appear though the door but the two drunken sailors.. eh I mean Captain and Soothsayer, right when Sky Captain Mel happened to ask Captain Marcus a rather eh.. prickly question. Captain Marcus couldn't help sweating a bit under the pressure, after all none of the other ships had managed to go much of anywhere and even the smarts of Sky Captain Mel's crew hadn't been able to figure out a solution. "It's eh.. all rather.... well.." Captain Marcus tried to stall for as much as possible before hanging his head "It was youknow.. recycled honey..." yep, yellow rich and stored in jars.. no wonder the job of filling the tank had become rather hotly contested on who's turn it was to do. Nobody wanted to be the one handling the jars of the Captain's Pee every morning. Bright red with embarrassment the Captain coughed "..but even that's no good now.. didn't even have enough in me to get us to port" he admitted with a shrug that yes, even he was without a solution to the dreaded honey famine that had plagued all of them.



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Post 49 on Mon Nov 14, 2011 3:06 pm

Born in Australia Halfblood - A Witch or Wizard with a mixture of Pure and Magical Blood
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"NomnomMom.." was about all the greeting Pirate Queen Mum Doris would have been able to get out of Sky Captain Mel, or well anyone until the cake had been eaten.. but not without a bit of terrorizing to a certain Captain who dared to try and steal from her. Even eyeballing her cake was liable to a threat of a blade in a rather uncomfortable place. In many ways it was rather scary how quickly the old life was coming back to her, because of course she had never wanted to return to the life of skullduggery, theft, running along rooftops.. breaking into castles.. slaying dragons.. oh wait.. scratch that last one. Everyone knew that dragons only came in pocket size singing varieties these days.

Either way Sky Captain Mel was glad that young Ashleigh was not here to see the two drunken men arrive late for the meeting. No she was safe back at the pub where there was no drunken and disorderly people at all....... wait.. Mel sighed, she guessed it was never too early to educate her daughter about the world, especially if it meant her missing out on the information Captain Marcus was now sharing with the world. "Ugh.." Sky Captain Mel said clutching her stomach as she figured out exactly what 'recycled honey' entailed "I think I'm gonna hurl" why oh why couldn't she have asked that before scoffing a entire black forest cake in one go? Thankfully for the overall taste of the thread that did not happen and instead Sky Captain Mel just planted her head on the table before her at the over sharing before the grey shape of her parrot Ipo flew in "SQUARK!" Sky Captain Mel immediately put her hand on the hilt of her blade assuming something had gone wrong. "MESSAGE REPEAT.. YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE SQUAAAAAARK" Much as her bird was the best and brightest he wasn't exactly the most quiet in all the seas. "Yes, alright" Sky Captain Mel said taking the small piece of paper off the bird and reading it with narrow eyes.. it took a second reading before she stood up "Word from my crew.. they've found a possible alternative fuel source... " Sky Captain Mel's eyes where bright at the news "Looks like we're saved!" of course there was one person who most certainly was not agreeing, because fuel or no fuel they where still out of honey, and that meant one cranky Captain Marcus.



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Post 50 on Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:42 am

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Pirate Queen Mum Doris was aware of the arrival of the Captain and Soothsayer of the Dragon Cat before they ever entered the conference room by the wafting scent of alcohol that usually floated around the soothsayer. Pirate Queen Mum Doris was not too sure how the Soothsayer had ever convinced the Captain of the Dragon Cat to hire him but this guy made Trelawney look like a sober professional most days. However, they were here now and apparently the Soothsayer was now foreseeing that event occurring.

If her voice made Captain Marcus twitch, the arrival of the pair from the Dragon Cat almost made Pirate Queen Mum Doris twitch but not completely. She had to shake her head at the lack of personal safety and good sense that the 'almost dearly departed' Captain Marcus displayed by reaching for a piece of Sky Captain Mel's cake. Dear Goat, was the man unable to remember one of the top three rules of Pirate Safety as determined by POSHA*? Had he not drawn his hand back fast enough, she would have had to file five different forms in quadruplicate, taking up precious time they could not afford to waste as the camera crew would have demanded overtime.

Eventually the discussion turned to the topic of the meeting, the lack of honey supplies and the shortage of fuel that entailed. That twitch she almost had above? Well, hearing Captain Marcus' solution resulted in its beginnings. "Right.... Happier not knowing, Captain...." she commented. "Thank you." Turning to Captain Jamie, she asked him, "Where do you stand on fuel?"

Just as Captain Jamie finished answering, Pirate Queen Mum Doris recognized the arrival of Ipo who headed straight for Sky Captain Mel with a message. Apparently a message of good news as it were. "Sky Captain, please send for the developer of this fuel to join us. I need to hear more. "

*Pirate Occupational Safety and Hazards Administration

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