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"This alert brought to you by Shinex, the brand that keeps shining!"

"Update on the growing unrest on Cybertron: This cycle saw the wholesale slaughter of Crystal City claimed by the growing forces of Optimus Prime, the one-time Senatorial aide then designated Optronix. Various sources have stated that only Polyhex's illegal militia went to try and avert the disaster. The Senate neither confirms nor denies this. An anonymous source in Iacon City claims the gestalt Constructicon team, designated Devastator, has left Senatorial service to aid the Polyhex militia in succoring the few survivors of the disaster."

"In other news today..."
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