Mark Olsen

Mark Olsen

Agrees with the Tomatometer 76% of the time.

Publications:
Boxoffice Magazine , Chicago Tribune , Film Comment Magazine , L.A. Weekly , Los Angeles Times , Sight and Sound , Village Voice
Total Reviews:
445

Worst Reviewed Films

Showing 1 - 50 of 423
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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date
0/5 —— Home Minister " A self-published philosophical tract transposed into a movie that defies most all conventional notions of good or bad. It's something more akin to hypnotically terrible." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 14, 2012
0/5 21% Madea's Witness Protection (2012) " A spectacularly slapdash and wearingly half-hearted effort from the prolific writer-director-actor, lacking energy, structure or common sense." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jun 29, 2012
0.5/5 41% The Last House on the Left (2009) " A shockingly mundane disappointment taken on its own and a deeply misguided refraction of the original." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 13, 2009
1/5 13% R.I.P.D. (2013) " The film is a visual mess, with cheap-looking effects hampered even further by crummy and unconvincing 3-D. " — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jul 19, 2013
1/5 20% Girls Against Boys (2013) " In "Girls Against Boys" both sides lose." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 31, 2013
1/5 19% Texas Chainsaw (2013) " The original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" leaves audiences feeling hollowed out, dispirited and dissolute. "Texas Chainsaw 3D" is simply a bummer for being a big nothing." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 5, 2013
1/5 46% A Liar's Autobiography - The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman (2012) " The end result is insufferable." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Nov 1, 2012
1/5 50% Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes (2012) " "Bigfoot" wanders straight into every tired trope and trap of the conceit." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 19, 2012
1/5 —— Hold Your Breath (2012) " Everything about "#HoldYourBreath" is aggressively mediocre, shoddy and undistinguished..." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Oct 4, 2012
1/5 27% The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure (2012) " Chazz Palminteri, Jaime Pressly, Cary Elwes, Christopher Lloyd and Cloris Leachman appear in brief roles, all looking slightly confused and vaguely embarrassed." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Aug 29, 2012
1/5 4% The Apparition (2012) " Something lacking either body heat or visceral suspense." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Aug 28, 2012
1/5 41% The Last Ride (2012) " Dramatically thin, formally uninspired and thematically weak, "The Last Ride" really goes nowhere." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jun 29, 2012
1/5 18% For Greater Glory (2012) " The film's length and muddled message will likely keep it from reaching much of an audience, even within the presumed Latino faith-based target." — Boxoffice Magazine
Posted Jun 3, 2012
1/5 27% High School (2012) " Lacking real kick, "High School" winds up as irksome as a bag of ditch weed and as lame as the pun of the film's title." — Los Angeles Times
Posted May 31, 2012
1/5 6% The Devil Inside (2012) " People of the world: If you find some footage, leave it be. You will likely be doing the rest of us a huge favor." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 7, 2012
1/5 5% Beneath The Darkness (2012) " At times it seems the simple ineptitude of "Beneath the Darkness" surely must mask some undercurrent of deeper sophistication and intention on behalf of the filmmakers. Alas, as it turns out, such things never surface." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 6, 2012
1/5 —— A Kiss and a Promise (2011) " Why an actor would create a starring part for himself this thin and underdeveloped is beyond explanation." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 8, 2011
1/5 24% Apollo 18 (2011) " The film takes a startlingly long time to rev up, and even at less than 90 minutes feels thin and at moments like it is playing for time." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 3, 2011
1/5 33% A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (2011) " Unable to decide whether to pitch their story as chastely sweet or ridiculously raunchy, filmmakers Alex Gregory and Peter Huyck end up with something that just lays there flacid." — Boxoffice Magazine
Posted Sep 2, 2011
1/5 14% Cat Run (2011) " It's easy to feel sucked into some kind of time warp back to the heyday of late-'90s post-Tarantino crime thrillers, cut-rate knockoffs filled with casually cartoonish violence, quippy patter, overtly flash filmmaking and incongruous pop tunes." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 4, 2011
1/5 5% Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011) " A film so drained of entertainment or simple humanity it is difficult to relate to as anything other than industrial artifact." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 18, 2011
1/5 10% Season of the Witch (2011) " Directed by the perennially hollow Dominic Sena from a script by Bragi Schut, "Season of the Witch" is all seams. It never balances out its competing desires..." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 6, 2011
1/5 —— Dead Awake (2010) " Though the performers gamely try to make the most of what little they have to work with, the film is murky to look at and unfocused in its storytelling. "Dead Awake" is a deadly snore." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 9, 2010
1/5 25% Friday the 13th (2009) " The original handful of Friday films had a certain low-rent elegance about them, and this slickly done, dimly lighted, whiplash-edited update loses that too." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Feb 13, 2009
1/5 —— 1968 Tunnel Rats (2009) " With 1968: Tunnel Rats, Boll continues to show himself to be an unusually versatile filmmaker -- outrageously awful in any genre." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 19, 2008
1/5 —— Waiting in Beijing (2008) " A preposterously inept, fabulously amateurish piece of vanity moviemaking." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Dec 12, 2008
1/5 34% Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) " The film is bad -- not good-bad, tacky-bad or fun-bad, just plain awful and nearly unwatchable." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Nov 7, 2008
1/5 15% Hounddog (2008) " The problems that plague the movie land squarely with the writer, director and producer, Deborah Kampmeier, who has crafted a howler of a bad script, shows little affinity for working with actors and displays no visual sense behind the camera." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Sep 19, 2008
1/5 —— murder.com (2010) " When a single episode of your sister's TV show contains hotter action and more story structure than the movie you are in, it may be time to reboot. Murder.com is strictly CTRL+ALT+delete." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jul 18, 2008
1/5 3% Deal (2008) " Reynolds doesn't convey any of the lightning bolt insouciance that made him arguably the greatest movie star of the '70s and '80s (really) but rather just stands there." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 25, 2008
1/5 14% Deception (2008) " Deception would be laughably bad if it weren't so rotely inert." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 25, 2008
1/5 48% The Ruins (2008) " Not even a fixer-upper, The Ruins should be considered a complete tear-down." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 4, 2008
1/5 —— Egoïste: Lotti Latrous " The way in which [director] Anspichler lingers on those who are only moments from death, especially milking a little boy's suffering in the film's finale, is truly sickening and exploitative in the lowest sense of the word." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jun 1, 2007
1/5 2% Kickin' It Old Skool (2007) " The film itself seems lost in a time warp -- even its attitude toward the '80s is out of date considering the ongoing revival in music and fashion from that era." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Apr 30, 2007
1/5 15% What Love Is (2008) " Now and then there is something strangely right about films this defiantly wrongheaded, but What Love Is never rises above the leaden, overbearing qualities of Callahan's dialogue and staging." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Mar 23, 2007
1/5 21% The Hitcher (2007) " That [original] film was intellectually engaging as well as tangibly creepy, while the new remake is just plain bad, and boring to boot." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jan 22, 2007
1/5 4% The Celestine Prophecy (2006) " The movie is flatly acted and extremely ill-paced, lacking any sense of urgency, momentum or fun." — Los Angeles Times
Posted Jul 21, 2006
50% Hey Hey It's Esther Blueburger (2008) " The filmmaker's overreliance on oddball characterizations and easy-bake kookiness often derails her seemingly loftier intentions." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Jun 10, 2010
11% Side Effects (2005) " While Slattery-Moschkau is obviously coming from a very earnest place -- a card before the final credits compares the annual budget for the pharmaceutical industry to that of her own film -- it doesn't make the overall effort any less clumsy." — L.A. Weekly
Posted May 11, 2006
75% Look Both Ways (2006) " Watt seems to want to say something about the role of fate and happenstance in creating connections between people, but she never quite brings the strands of her ideas together." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 27, 2006
23% Phat Girlz (2006) " [Mo'Nique's] sassy forte may be talking so straight-up she sounds crazy, but she seems a little advanced to be doing 'yo mama' jokes." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 13, 2006
15% Iowa (2005) " As director, Farnsworth lets tricky visuals run roughshod over dramatic unity, while as a performer, his lack of screen presence makes him seem sullen and uninterested instead of darkly charismatic." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 13, 2006
5% Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006) " The low road always wins out." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Mar 28, 2006
63% Americano (2005) " Watching Americano is like hearing a long story about someone else's holiday, and while it seems everyone had a nice time, it's too bad they didn't shoot a better film while they were there." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Mar 23, 2006
27% What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole (2006) " Down the Rabbit Hole makes teen sex comedies, action-chick sci-fi and the other usual multiplex chum seem like high-minded discourse." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Mar 16, 2006
8% Doogal (2006) " The story, dialogue and animation here really are for-kids-only." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 27, 2006
32% Tamara (2006) " An entry into the cycle of avenging teen-girl pictures, in which the filmmakers try gamely to put a unique spin on familiar material, but eventually fall back on by-the-numbers tropes." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 16, 2006
—— See This Movie (2006) " ... director David Rosenthal and his writing partner, Joseph M. Smith, simply don't come up with enough material to keep the laughs coming at a reasonable pace and never quite get a groove rolling." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Jan 26, 2006
21% April's Shower (2004) " You'd think that having gone to the trouble of writing, directing, producing and starring in April's Shower, Trish Doolan would have something to say." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Jan 12, 2006
46% Hoodwinked (2005) " The animation style of Hoodwinked is dated by at least a handful of years, marked by that glassy smoothness that dominated previous generations of CGI." — L.A. Weekly
Posted Dec 15, 2005
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