How to Get Me to Come to Your City Where You Live

Just stare into the mirror, and chant my name five times …

Nah, it’s no good. I can’t make a Candyman joke. It still freaks me out. It’s too soon.

Sometimes people ask me if I’ll come to their local bookstore for the Magician King tour. The answer is, I want to! But I have no control over which bookstores I go to, literally none.

What happens is, bookstores that want me to come read put in a request to my publisher. My publisher — using an arcane algorithm worked out by Bret Easton Ellis in the mid-1980′s — picks some of these, books airfare and hotels, then sends me an e-mail informing me that it has done so. Then I get on a plane. I’m like Perry the Platypus. I go where they send me.

And when I get there I smite evil and lay eggs. Even though I’m a mammal.

So I have no power. But you — you can insert yourself into this process. Suggest to your local bookstore that they request me for the Magician King tour. That can get the ball rolling.

Or you can try the chanting thing. It works for Candyman. Man, that guy has sold a lot of books.

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9 Responses to “How to Get Me to Come to Your City Where You Live”

  1. Brad Bowman says:

    But, dammit man, I live in Maine! [By the way, I'm really looking forward to this book.]

  2. Serena says:

    I wonder would your publisher be nice enough to you to send you to Ireland. I wish I was in the States, you and Neil Gaiman at one signing? AMAZING.

  3. M Blockley says:

    You came to BookPeople in Austin. They had your name on the marquee. And yet their website contains no contact information other than a Telephone Number. Do I have to call this number?!

  4. Rita says:

    Yes, you were at Book People in Austin and then the B&N in the HarMar Mall in Rosedale when you came to the Twin Cities, which, you know was totally fine, it was quite the super deluxe Barnes and Noble, but, you know, NOT Book People. I think next time you should come to this area through this Club Book program that the library system organizes.

    http://www.clubbook.org/about.html

    Walter Mosley was here this past week (Tuesday near Minneapolis and Wednesday near St Paul. The Wednesday one was in my actual town, in my actual library, which was very, very cool) and while the B&N at Rosedale was TOTALLY fine, I think this library collaboration would be good.

    I’ll suggest you to them. Everyone who I’ve recommended The Magicians to has loved it. Not one person has come back with, “Eh, I didn’t finish it… it wasn’t my thing… I’ll get around to it.”

  5. M says:

    in canada, not that far, but far enough that people aren’t willing to go

    last time they invited some author that gave away inflatable penguins.
    i didnt know who the author was and i didn’t get a penguin.

    i want to ask but i also realized that my bookstore converted the book section to smelly candles.

    yeah no one reads here :x

  6. Steven A. says:

    Would be lovely to have you back in Atlanta or Decatur, Ga. again. We saw you at the Decatur Book Festival last year. My brother was rocking his Brakebills tee last Saturday, as a matter of fact.

  7. WE WANT YOU WE WANT YOU!

    The Spirit of ’76 Bookstore
    Marblehead, MA 01945

    781.631.7199
    !!!

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  9. Super Deluxe Noble King…

    [...] last year. My brother was rocking his Brakebills tee last Saturday, as a matter [...]…

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