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A few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/25 - 12/31 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-01-03 4:53:34 PM (12 comments) | Permalink

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2160 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2012 at 4:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Just a quick heads-up, I'll be announcing all of the winners of our Headline of the Year contests tomorrow. I wanted it out this morning but had too much going on to get it done earlier, so I'll be posting it tomorrow at noon EST.

In the meantime, here are some of the better headlines from last week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-12-25 to Sat 2011-12-31:

img.fark.net  Rash of Baby Jesus figure thefts continues. Locals say it makes no frankincense    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Intel and Kraft create prototype of intelligent vending machine that analyzes a customer's age and sex, yet invariably delivers a dessert that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Jello    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Showering woman escapes when home catches fire. Fire departments from 34 counties respond    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Missing Indiana girl found dead; babysitter charged. Hourly    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  School bus hit by flying car, no one inju--FLYING CARS ARE HERE    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Body found in Port Townshend, Washington leaves police asking "Who Are You?"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Fashion designer makes gown out of Ford Focus parts . As expected, most women want bigger headlights    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man shot by cop at Denny's expected to survive because thankfully he had not been served yet    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Sperm study could help infertile couples. INCONCEIVABLE    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Doctors store patients' genetic codes, in a revolutionary step toward tailoring therapies specifically to an individual, and so they have a template to help reintegrate you after the transporter splits you into good and evil duplicates    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Free crack pipes, free crack pipes, see how they smoke, see how they smoke, Vancouver is giving them out for free, to prevent Hepatitis and HIV, did you ever see such a sight as could be, as free crack pipes    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Penn St. Football tops AP Poll, young boys    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Big Ten, Pac-12 announce new football scheduling agreement, a move that won't change which SEC teams play in the National Championship game in the slightest    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Thierry Henry is coming back to Arsenal. Now all they need is Tony Adams, Steve Bould, Martin Keown, Lee Dixon, Nigel Winterburn and time machine, and they're in business    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Evidence indicates earliest humans lived by rivers and streams. The cans of Really Old Milwaukee were a dead giveaway    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Small monkey groups more likely to fight, raising hopes for an offshore small monkey fighting league    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  NASA's twin GRAIL probes closing in on moon orbit, just need to pass through the cave of Caerbannog    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Fire at LMFAO concert leaves security telling everyone to STFU and GTFO, LOL    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Russell Brand files for divorce, stocks up on "Welcome to Herpes" gift baskets    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The Doctor to marry woman who played the role of his daughter. Same woman also happens to be The Doctor's daughter in real life and already has a child with The Doctor. Surprisingly, none of this happened in Dixie    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Callista Gingrich makes rare campaign remarks. And I quote: "ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Jon Huntsman says Ron Paul is "unelectable". In similar news, Paris Hilton says Kim Kardashian can't act    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Obama "no longer needs Congress to promote his agenda," says fear will keep the local systems in line    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Bolivia is in two minds about what to do with their huge reserves of lithium    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Verizon's VP of Network Engineering says its LTE network is fast like greased weasels on speed, and every bit as stable    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Prison inmates have registered with the IRS as tax preparers. Will take payments in cash, candy bars, cigarettes    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


12 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2012-01-03 05:02:29 PM
I submitted this with a better h.... wait nevermind
 
2012-01-03 05:09:31 PM
This headline blows, but I didn't have time to think up anything lovely and creative.
 
2012-01-03 05:12:46 PM
Can anyone explain the Arsenal one to me? I am from the US after all.
/kthxbye
 
2012-01-03 05:32:57 PM

dude_man: Can anyone explain the Arsenal one to me? I am from the US after all.
/kthxbye


They're bringing back a legend, like Michael Jordan. The other players mentioned were some of Arsenal's best defenders from the last decade, which the current team is sorely lacking.
 
2012-01-03 05:35:06 PM
OMG props to the Free Crack Pipes subby.
 
2012-01-03 05:36:24 PM

dude_man: Can anyone explain the Arsenal one to me? I am from the US after all.
/kthxbye


Thierry Henry is one of the greatest players in the history of the Premier League, and could flat ass score. Those five guys formed what was called the Famous Back Four back when Arsenal had a pretty salty defense. They were even mentioned in the Full Monty. Arsenal currently has 1 person who can score, and roughly 1.25 defenders that are worth a shiat still healthy.
 
2012-01-03 05:51:34 PM
mitchcumstein1:

Langston:


Thanks! I'm trying to get into the Premier League, but some of the games are on at weird times of day here.
 
2012-01-03 06:00:12 PM

dude_man: Thanks! I'm trying to get into the Premier League, but some of the games are on at weird times of day here.


Fark has regular Premier League threads on the sports tab, feel free to come check them out, almost all of them are green when the games are live. The group is pretty inclusive. You just gotta pick a team if you don't have one already.
 
2012-01-03 06:56:11 PM
Dammit. I can't believe I missed a Grail thread.
 
2012-01-03 08:12:19 PM

Langston: dude_man: Thanks! I'm trying to get into the Premier League, but some of the games are on at weird times of day here.

Fark has regular Premier League threads on the sports tab, feel free to come check them out, almost all of them are green when the games are live. The group is pretty inclusive. You just gotta pick a team if you don't have one already.


Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
 
2012-01-03 08:29:39 PM

SJKebab: Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


lol
 
2012-01-03 10:43:59 PM

Tax Boy: props to the Free Crack Pipes subby.


One of the best I've seen in a long time, and it scans perfectly.
 
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