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dana loesch rethinking loyalties after seeing how much airtime teen activists getting
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middle-aged woman so tired of going back and forth between divorced parents' nursing homes
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ron paul blames florida loss on expensive advertising costs of poster board, markers
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apple hard at work making iphone obsolete
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panicked keynote speaker suddenly can't remember what future of innovation is
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commentary: oh, so i’m distant and emotionally abusive for several years, and all of a sudden i’m not good enough for you anymore?
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woman has bizarre ability to share details about personal life with parents
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pepsi super bowl ad raises worldwide pepsi-awareness .00000000001 percent
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greenspan considering role in ocean's eleven remake
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life: 6 of the most memorable presidential debate performances of all time
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strongside/weakside: ronda rousey
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mueller combs through dozens of damning white house emails he was accidentally cc'd on
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stars and snipes
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hillary clinton: 'when i was a child, most special interest groups wouldn't even consider donating large sums of money to a woman'
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44 suspicious packages detonated under white house christmas tree
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spielberg panics, adds comical groin injuries to 'lincoln'
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life: know your options: you can leave any meatball sandwich that you’re unable to finish at your local fire department and they are required to eat it, no questions asked
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nra calls for more common-sense gun deaths
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public health win: coca-cola is releasing a new line of sprite that turns blue if anyone shits in the sprite
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cia orchestrates coup d’état to replace entire population of venezuela
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10th-grade class watches ben-hur for two weeks
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yankee candle clarifies that product only intended to be dripped on balls
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report: 50% of heaven's population just assholes who begged for forgiveness at last second
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trump: 'america hasn't been stronger or more united since i first opened my eyes and created the universe'
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liberal relieved he never has to introspect again after assembling all the correct opinions
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man miscast in role of father
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critics blast al gore's documentary as 'realistic'
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epa releases annual list of cities where tap water probably fine to drink but tastes kinda off
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flaming bag of shit intended for apartment 314
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earth passed over for invasion
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slight inconvenience avoided
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news: leading the resistance: ebaum’s world is offering exclusive access to an unreleased ‘salad fingers’ episode for anyone who brings them the scalp of a nazi
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sperm can’t remember why it came into womb
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day job officially becomes job
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1998 powerball winner returns to food-service job
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heroic prego advertisement replaces refreshed webpage's presidential campaign banner
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family cuts nursing home visit short so grandmother can get back to excruciating loneliness
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‘please, i'll tell you everything,’ whimpers rick gates after mueller threatens to send him back to white house
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incredible! taylor swift perfectly shut down this hater by slowly and calculatedly destroying his life over the course of many years
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japan announces name of new era
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lack of media interest makes genocide cover-up unnecessary
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india continues surge towards status as first world nation by reelecting racist, right-wing authoritarian
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prince harry, meghan markle debating between hawaiian luau- or 'x-files'-themed wedding
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if donald trump pardons me, i would be honored to serve as secretary of agriculture
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social media misfire: applebee’s has apologized after tweeting that 9/11 was a ‘big mood’ with a picture of a hamburger
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pathetic, washed-up rock star on fifth decade of doing exactly what he always wanted
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busch gardens unveils new 9,600-mile-long endurance coaster
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red cross installs blood drop-off bins for donors’ convenience
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nation's last themeless restaurant closes
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sc cop michael slager shoots walter scott in back
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what’s your sex iq? | clickhole
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woman rushes to hide fragile objects, cover up sharp corners on tables before boyfriend comes over
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gynecologist inserting iud promises woman it will be just a quick pinch and then she’ll be on the floor unconscious: the onion
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