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Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up.
--
-- no
Harry didn't trust himself to speak.
no
no ,
He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.
,
, looking
There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast.
looking
looking at
It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink.
at
at the
He went to have a look.
the
the sign
The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.
sign
sign ;
"What's this?"
;
; cats
he asked Aunt Petunia.
cats
cats could
Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.
could
could n't
"Your new school uniform," she said.
n't
n't read
Harry looked in the bowl again.
read
read maps
"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."
maps
maps or
"DotA be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia.
or
or signs
"I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you.
signs
signs .
It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."
.
. Mr.
Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue.
Mr.
Mr. Dursley
He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High -- like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.
Dursley
Dursley gave
Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform.
gave
gave himself
Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.
himself
himself a
They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.
a
a little
"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.
little
little shake
"Make Harry get it."
shake
shake and
"Get the mail, Harry."
and
and put
"Make Dudley get it."
put
put the
"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."
the
the cat
Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail.
cat
cat out
Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and -- a letter for Harry.
out
out of
Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band.
of
of his
No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him.
his
his mind
Who would?
mind
mind .
He had no friends, no other relatives -- he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back.
.
. As
Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake: Mr. H. Potter The Cupboard under the Stairs 4 Privet Drive Little Whinging Surrey The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink.
As
As he
There was no stamp.
he
he drove
Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H. "Hurry up, boy!"
drove
drove toward
shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen.
toward
toward town
"What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?"
town
town he
He chuckled at his own joke.
he
he thought
Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter.
thought
thought of
He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.
of
of nothing
Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.
nothing
nothing except
"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia.
except
except a
"Ate a funny whelk.
a
a large
--."
large
large order
"Dad!"
order
order of
said Dudley suddenly.
of
of drills
"Dad, Harry's got something!"
drills
drills he
Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.
he
he was
"That's mine!"
was
was hoping
said Harry, trying to snatch it back.
hoping
hoping to
"Who'd be writing to you?"
to
to get
sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it.
get
get that
His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights.
that
that day
And it didn't stop there.
day
day .
Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.
.
. But
"P-P-Petunia!"
But
But on
he gasped.
on
on the
Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach.
the
the edge
Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line.
edge
edge of
For a moment it looked as though she might faint.
of
of town
She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.
town
town ,
"Vernon!
,
, drills
Oh my goodness -- Vernon!"
drills
drills were
They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room.
were
were driven
Dudley wasn't used to being ignored.
driven
driven out
He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.
out
out of
"I want to read that letter," he said loudly.
of
of his
want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's mine."
his
his mind
"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.
mind
mind by
Harry didn't move.
by
by something
I WANT MY LETTER!"
something
something else
he shouted.
else
else .
"Let me see it!"
.
. As
demanded Dudley.
As
As he
"OUT!"
he
he sat
roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them.
sat
sat in
Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole; Dudley won, so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.
in
in the
"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address -- how could they possibly know where he sleeps?
the
the usual
You don't think they're watching the house?"
usual
usual morning
"Watching -- spying -- might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.
morning
morning traffic
"But what should we do, Vernon?
traffic
traffic jam
Should we write back?
jam
jam ,
Tell them we don't want --" Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.
,
, he
"No," he said finally.
he
he could
"No, we'll ignore it.
could
could n't
If they don't get an answer...
n't
n't help
Yes, that's best... we won't do anything.... "But --" "I'm not having one in the house, Petunia!
help
help noticing
Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"
noticing
noticing that
That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.
that
that there
"Where's my letter?"
there
there seemed
said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door.
seemed
seemed to
"Who's writing to me?"
to
to be
"No one.
be
be a
it was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly.
a
a lot
"I have burned it."
lot
lot of
"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."
of
of strangely
"SILENCE!"
strangely
strangely dressed
yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling.
dressed
dressed people
He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful.
people
people about
"Er -- yes, Harry -- about this cupboard.
about
about .